Salina Presbyterian Manor
Mary’s Musings AUGUST 2019
Getting to know: Pat Tomlins
Pat Tomlins is very happy with her decision to get on the waiting list for Salina Presbyterian Manor. Pat Tomlins may have only been a resident at the community since last November, but she has already had a big impact on those around her. To get to know her a little better, we asked her to tell us about herself. What kind of work did you do before you retired? “I was a professional secretary/administrative assistant and spent the majority of years I worked as administrative assistant for Sam Evans at Evans Grain Company in Salina. When Evans Grain sold the office and closed, I wasn’t quite ready to retire, so I went to work for consumer credit counseling in the education department and taught budget workshops for five years before retiring.” -Tomlins, continued on page 2
Reflections on grief and community I often refer to the residents here at the Presbyterian Manor as family, but I also believe that we are a unique community. Community is defined as a group of people with a common characteristic or interest living together within a larger society. Throughout my life, I have been blessed to be surrounded and supported by many different communities. Each one of these communities provide caring support and encouragement during the many different stages of my life. August has become a month of reflection for me. It was on August 18, 2006, that our family was changed forever. It was the day our son, Todd, died in a car accident. Coming from large families, Kenny and I had experienced the loss of parents, grandparents, siblings, nieces, nephews and close friends in what seems like every conceivable way; old-age, cancer, heart attacks, Alzheimer’s, accidents, suicide, murder and flash floods. We had also experienced the life-changing loss of jobs, pets, homes, relationships and communities. Having experienced loss in so many ways, I thought I knew about grief and mourning. Was I ever wrong. Each loss affects our life in a multitude of different ways. My mother’s heart was broken, but the realization that my grandson would grow up without a father -Chaplain, continued on page 2
Salina Presbyterian Manor | A PMMA COMMUNITY
1
-Tomlins, continued from page 1
Tell us about your family. “I have two sons who live in town—Dr. Byron Tomlins, who is a retired chiropractor, and Scott Tomlins, who works for Longshot Enterprises—six grandchildren and four great-grandchildren. I’m very blessed.” What are your hobbies? “I used to love to knit and made shawls for my church group, but my arthritis has set in on my hands. I also like to read non-fiction, particularly biographies. Right now, I’m reading Madeline Albright’s new book.”
-Chaplain, continued from page 1
ripped apart my grandmother’s heart. Recently, while attending the funeral of a friend, I was visiting with her two sons and waves of grief washed over me as I realized I would never see our son grow old. Our Literary Ladies group at Presbyterian Manor just finished reading “Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine,” by Gail Honeyman. When we first met Eleanor in the book she seems like a strange, odd duck who is completely out of step with her work community and the world. As the story evolves, we discover the horrendous losses
What brought you to the community?
What activities do you like to participate in at the community?
“In 2002, I began to examine the retirement communities in Salina and found that Presbyterian Manor was the only one that offered levels of care and that was my number one priority—plus, I knew many friends who already lived here. So, after visiting with friends and talking with my family, I decided to visit and got on the waiting list. I was called several times before I was ready to move in, but never lost my place in line and eventually made the move in November 2018.”
“I really have gotten into volunteering here. I especially enjoy the two to three times a month I help a volunteer coordinator in the healthcare area. I am also volunteering for the Country Store that’s open every noon hour Monday through Friday.”
she has survived. Beginning with an abusive mother who sets fire to their home, causing the death of her younger sister and lifelong scarring to her face and her emotions.
manage it. After all these years, I’m still something of a work in progress in that regard. Grief is the price we pay for love, so they say. The price is far too high. But the days and weeks after that … that’s when it really starts to get hard. The only way to survive is to open your heart.”
As she begins making friends and opening up a little, we begin to experience her transformation. She tells us, “I felt like a newly laid egg, all swishy and gloopy inside, and so fragile that the slightest pressure could break me.” When she talks about death and loss, she says: “Time only blunts the pain of loss. It doesn’t erase it. It takes a long time to learn to live with loss, assuming you ever
Anything else you’d like to share? “Getting on the waiting list when I did was the best decision I could have made concerning my future— I’m very happy here.” ◆
Like Kenny and I, this Presbyterian Manor community is filled with people who have wrestled with many losses and the grief and mourning that accompanies it. My prayer for each of you is that our community may help you to find comfort, hope and new life in the days ahead. ◆
Like us on Facebook to stay updated on news and events.
SALINA Presbyterian Manor 785-825-1366 ◆ Fax: 785-825-6554 2601 E. Crawford Salina, KS 67401-3898 SalinaPresbyterianManor.org
2
COMMUNITY MATTERS | August 2019
Community Matters
is published monthly for residents and friends of Salina Presbyterian Manor by Presbyterian Manors of Mid-America, Inc., a not-for-profit 501(c)(3) organizaton.
To submit or suggest articles: mmccoy@PMMA.org Desi Flerlage, executive director Melissa McCoy, marketing director
OUR MISSION: To provide quality senior services guided by Christian values.
Employee of the Month: Jodi Gawith Jodi Gawith is Employee of the Month for July. Jodi has worked for Salina Presbyterian Manor for 26 years. She is currently a CMA and Restorative Aide in health care. She has two children: Jessica, and Lacey; and five grandchildren, including four boys and one girl. Family is very important to Jodi. She considers herself very loyal and carries her heart on her sleeve. Above all, she loves caring
for others. In her spare time, Jodi like to go camping and enjoys gambling. When asked what most people would not know about her, she said that she really wants to go ziplining at Fremont Street in Las Vegas. It is at the top of her bucket list. We are so thankful to have Jodi on our team! ◆
Jodi Gawith
Prior experience drives staff member to donate car While working in an assisted living community in Tulsa, Jamie Tollison experienced the heartbreak of watching someone being forced to relocate simply because they had outlived their finances. So, when she joined Salina Presbyterian Manor a little over a year ago as a certified nursing and medical assistant, she was relieved to learn about PMMA’s Good Samaritan Program, which prevents such life-altering changes by providing financial support to those in need. “This lady had lived there so long, and I thought it was just horrible,” said Jamie. “So, when I heard about the Good Samaritan Program, I thought it was an awesome idea.” In fact, Jamie thought the program was such a good idea that when it came time to get a new car, she decided to donate her old one so - Donate, continued on page 4 Salina Presbyterian Manor | A PMMA COMMUNITY
3
SALINA Presbyterian Manor
2601 E. Crawford Salina, KS 67401-3898 RETURN SERVICE REQUESTED
Our Mission: to provide quality senior services guided by Christian values Like us on Facebook to stay updated on news and events.
-Donate, continued from page 3
that the money from its sale could go toward funding the program. “I had an older vehicle, and it wasn’t in the best of shape, but it served me well for five years,” said Jamie. “When I got a new car, I could’ve sold it for a little money, but I wanted it to go to a good cause.” And it’s because of the generosity of people like Jamie that PMMA is proud to say that no resident has ever been asked to leave because of their inability to pay. To learn more about the Good Samaritan Program, and how you can help, visit giving. presbyterianmanors.org or contact the PMMA Department of Giving at 800-3368511. ◆
4
COMMUNITY MATTERS | August 2019
Left: CNA Jamie Tollison went the extra mile and donated her old car to benefit PMMA’s Good Samaritan Program.