Arkansas City Community Matters October 2021

Arkansas City Presbyterian Manor

Addressing my life OCTOBER 2021

Rewriting an old address book reveals how connections and relationships have changed

By Marcia Byalick

Wilda Buffo breaks out of comfort zone to win top honor As a quilter, Wilda Buffo has a certain go-to style. But for this year’s Art is Ageless® juried art competition she decided to mix things up a bit with her quilt, “Shades of Color,” and was rewarded by being named a masterpiecelevel winner.

Quilter – continued on page 4

I spent a bittersweet and humbling afternoon doing a job most people born after 1970 have never done. It was a task familiar to people who buy stamps and send anniversary cards. The kind of person who still writes checks and leaves voice messages. It was a quiet, tech-free activity where I communed with some of the characters who’ve drifted in and out of my life. Like weeding the garden or cleaning out the junk drawer, the task wound up more daunting than I anticipated.

For three hours last Thursday, I rewrote my address book.

For those who grew up with all their contact information stored on their phone, an address book (which for my first 40 years I called a phone book), is a handwritten paper directory with A-Z tabs along the edge.

It caught me off guard, those hours spent retracing my past. Who do I choose to not transcribe again?

Mine was decades-old, a bulging mess of business cards and outdated details held together with a rubber band. It was a practical document full of how to get in touch with plumbers and doctors and neighbors and hairdressers. And cousins and lawyers and colleagues and friends.

And a repository of lives lived and lost. Restaurants, and people “out of

Resident Wilda Buffo is a masterpiece-level winner in this year’s Art is Ageless competition for her quilt, “Shades of Color.”

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Get the latest on visitation and COVID-19 at our campus at ArkansasCityPresbyterianManor.org/covid-19.

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business.”A chapter in the book about me.

It caught me off guard, those hours spent retracing my past. Who do I choose to not transcribe again?

Some decisions are more clear cut than others.

The vet for my cat who died 10 years ago? Out. My first cousin who I lost touch with around the same time? Hmmm, he stays in.

That old college friend; do I have any intention of staying in touch?

Probably not. So do I “lose” her – delete her – forever? That's a hard one.

Occupations and Addresses From the Past I rolled my eyes at the convoluted way I double-entered certain people for quicker retrieval under their name: Frank, James and their occupation — Accountant, Gardener. It surprised me how seemingly irrelevant last names were of those my car and nails and home depend on.

I also added some new names. This year was a chips-are-down time for me, and the number of random people and distant friends who stepped up deserve to be included.

caring and laughs provided by friends mean more than ever The number of Florida addresses highlighted the passage of time.

Some of my friends have been at an address as familiar to me as my own; some moved four times. I felt bereft rewriting addresses with half a couple. So many stories.

“Why didn't you just update your contacts?” asks my daughter. For so many reasons she'd find unreasonable. In no special order, there's the near and dear issue of WHAT IF. My generation likes a back-up.

A Valuable Hard Copy A “real” address book won’t crash or become corrupted or be rendered useless if there's a power failure or a natural disaster. It won’t be stolen, its hard drive won’t fail and its battery won't die. It'll never have to be revived in a bowl of rice if it’s accidentally dropped in the toilet.

Of course, I recognize the worth of my cell phone’s memory for speed dialing. I still like myself a hard copy.

The lo-fi list of the address book's whereabouts in my kitchen drawer is easy to reference for Christmas cards and party invites. When I recently had to call all my credit card companies and banks, it was handy to have all the particulars in one place.

After a challenging year, the love,

Marcia Byalick's address book Credit: Marcia Byalick

Lastly, in the icky getting-affairs-inorder category ICID (in case I die), a paper address book — a mash-up of the personal and the professional — is straightforward access to all you need to know.

Anyone I’ve asked who still uses an address book admits it’s been in their lives for so long, it's “worn and tattered,” and “falling apart.” They share my belief that between its covers are not just organized facts; there’s an accounting of the center stage and bit players featured in our lifetime memories.

That’s why when I finished up at Z, I put the old, battered copy — the one with my father’s last phone number

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COMMUNITY MATTERS | October 2021

is published monthly for residents and friends of Arkansas City Presbyterian Manor

by Presbyterian Manors of Mid-America, Inc., a not-for-profit 501(c)(3) organization.

To submit or suggest articles: wstokes@pmma.org.

Sarah Griggs, executive director Whitley Stokes, marketing director

OUR MISSION: To provide quality senior services guided by Christian values.

Jay Warren and Peterpaul Fiorentino with Versato Wines hosted a “Wine and Wisdom” event.

Residents, guests enjoy wine and wisdom Jay Warren and Peterpaul Fiorentino from Versato Wines recently hosted a “Wine and Wisdom” for residents and a few of their friends to learn more about wine and taste the fruits of Jay and Peterpaul’s labors.

“The event was a huge hit,” said Marketing Director Whitley Stokes. “I was so happy to see our residents having fun and learning together.”

The event had an equally powerful effect on its presenters.

“Someone stopped me in the store after the event to tell me how much they enjoyed coming, and it almost brought a tear to my eye that we can bring joy to others with our wines,” said Jay. u

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and the no-longer accurate addresses of places I laughed and learned and grieved — in a drawer in my bedroom. Next to the even

Cheers to a fun event! From left to right: Carolyn Shriver, Robert Boone, Gene Brinkman and Joe Cary enjoyed Wine and Wisdom at Arkansas City Presbyterian Manor.

older address book in my mother’s handwriting.

There is comfort in the fact that my contacts are in the cloud, preserved in the digital world. Safe there along with the hundreds of photos on my

phone. But the cloud will never elicit the kind of sighs or smiles as the shelf of a dozen photo albums in my den. Or a glance back through my obsolete, dilapidated address book.

It’s good to have back up. u

Arkansas City Presbyterian Manor | A PMMA COMMUNITY

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Quilter – continued from page 1

“It was probably just the second time I have used bright colors in a quilt— I normally don’t use pastels, I like darker colors better—but you got to get out of your rut sometimes,” said Wilda.

The quilt was made by utilizing a roll of ombre fabric that featured various shades of different colors, which Wilda cut up and arranged to form a repeating geometric pattern.

“I don’t recall how many triangles and squares and rectangles were cut out of that, but let’s say a lot!” said Wilda.

While the process was time intensive and the end product certainly looks complex, Wilda claims it wasn’t quite as difficult as it appears.

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“It wasn’t the most challenging quilt I’ve made—but not the easiest either,” said Wilda.

This isn’t the first time Wilda has competed in Art is Ageless and won, but she insists that her participation has little to do with the recognition.

“I think it provides a good outlet for us around here. Everybody usually does something that they’re proud of, and you’re glad to show it to other people,” said Wilda. “I don’t go into it thinking I should get a ribbon—of course I’m pleased that I do—but it’s something I do during the year. I’m doing it for my benefit, it offers me peace of mind. You’ve got to keep your mind going or you’ll lose it.”

Next up for Wilda is a series of flannel throws for her twin great-

COMMUNITY MATTERS | October 2021

grandchildren based on one she made for their dad when he was a boy.

“I thought, wouldn’t it be kind of neat to make the same flannel throw for them that I made for him? And he has a little girl that’s five, and I can’t give the boys something and not the girl, so I’m making three little flannel throws right now,” said Wilda.

And, thanks to years of organization, the throws aren’t just going to be similar, they’re going to be exact replicas.

“I keep a file of a lot of things and, sure enough, in my file cabinet I had the file of the pattern I made for him—all the animals and everything,” said Wilda.

To see Wilda’s work and all of the other winners in this year’s Art is Ageless competition, visit artisageless.org. u