Connect with The Subconscious

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Connect with The

Subconscious Doubts for the Discerning

Thoughts and discussions that prove that we are our worst friends

By Pradeep Maheshwari S164-Greater Kailash, 1. N DELHI 48 India http://sriaurocounselingcenter.weebly.com

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Contents

- Introduction

1)

Words and our learning

2)

Religion is a good excuse

3)

Playing cleverly & with some cunning

4)

Life and your effort quotient

5)

Will my telling be of any worth?

6)

What are we?

7)

Nonsense

8)

Not looking far enough

9)

We are the culprits

10)

What we pass on to children

11)

Positivity in raising children

12)

Life recognise not your "Rights"

13)

The religious quagmire

14)

The Great Divide

15)

Humans & their Mental Kingdom 3

16) 17)

Nobody lies.

Lazy minds - active otherwise

18)

As for us old farts.

19)

Our ideas of spirituality.

20)

I am just a fence.

21)

The Change

22)

The Path

23)

The Virtuous Fakes

24)

Fear as a friend.

25)

Why so eager to have children?

26)

Astrology, fate and & future.

27)

The complex world and we.

28)

Subliminal Conditioning

29)

Learning is the gateway

30)

Tricky Humans

31)

Obfuscating issues

32)

Are you ready?

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33)

Exuberance

34)

The need for Therapy.

35)

The Psychology of the situation.

36)

Anxiety

37)

Compare and contradict

38)

Growing up

39)

The lucky ones

40)

On being un-friended.

41)

Expanded living.

42)

Stupidity as teacher

43)

Our castle is ready

44)

Yogic secrets of material success

45)

What is and ought to be

46)

From book: The Fakir’s Travels

47)

The Semblance of correctness

Connect with me on Facebook -Pradeep PK Maheshwari

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Introduction.

The time has now come to focus on the subconscious. All this learning has to percolate to become the new norm of behaviour and activity.

From the way I see humanity carrying itself, I don’t think it is trying to better itself. Rather it is a race to prove their uniqueness at being the most self-destructive race ever on earth.

And why not? We all are “somebody” special & exclusive are we not?

So is this all pretence or a natural act that we are putting on as an automaton but “live”?

Pretence would mean that we know but prefer not to see. Automatic natural behaviour would mean that we are living it out like all other animals do; not really aware what we are up to. Then whatever happened to all the education that has been going around since time began?

Let me begin with two illusions that we have rather desperately blinded ourselves with because it serves our interests better that way. The seed of insincerity is sowed right here. In our personal relationships, in matters of health in matters of commerce – we are always and totally ruthlessly insincere!

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My discovery is that what we call being in love is the just the happiness of being accepted by another as wonderful and wanting more of it - gravitating to that person who is giving out the wonderful signals, acceptance and ready to share body as well.

When this happens mutually, it is termed love.

The pleasure principle, the satisfied ego and practicality with proximity all play a part.

Yet another discovery is that people use the "Watering the negative seeds in others" method to keep others at bay and defensive so that they can avoid looking at their own selves.

People are not looking for happiness but acceptance of their selves which they are acutely aware is highly inadequate.

What they miss is the fact that by constantly focussing on the negative seeds, they envelope themselves with negativity and a mind that is churning away, grinding the negative seeds over and over and keeping them locked in the mill.

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Below are some more points that I raise that would go to prove how I see humanity poisoning its own living and the short lives that it has been blessed with. If humanity would call it a blessing at all!

I wish to raise these questions. Humanity is dabbling with inanities or factors that it does not need. I may sound terribly a messenger of doom but the darkness needs to be dealt with. Now! There are a lot of good people writing a lot on the positive ways to achieve a better life. It is a feel-good approach. It won’t bring in the change because the approach is to accommodate.

But my aim is to lay a ground plan for action for those who really wish to get out of this quagmire by taking care and aiming their sights at the grass-roots level. Every word is chosen and important in this short space and selected carefully – read with care; please.

I asked for feedback from a friend on the content of this book. The conversation I had is worth repeating and I put it down here: The people need to be made aware of the changes needed at a deeper, more permanent 8

level - at the subconscious level. This cannot be made with speeches and words. Words rarely penetrate our thick hides unless the people have had some misfortune to make them withdraw into a more quiet and humble state; ready to see beyond their noses & egos. And if they are fortunate the right words hit their Spirit so they are able to make the connection.

I would like to bring your attention to these words of yours: "Well, the feel good stuff does work, it has worked for me. The teachers that have taught me about love, such as Jesus and Yogananda, and others who are walking on the earth right now, have opened up in me that vast infinite reservoir that has changed the way I look at the world.".

Special note is to be taken of, like a piece of evidence in a murder case, of the words ...."the way I look at the world". Only your outer way of looking is changing for now.

But has it reduced your vanity quotient in your active persona? Eventually it will leave imprints on the subconscious but this is too long a process and you may lose this body before it has had any important impact. Then you will have to start all over again.

All these good people with great positivity and great advice to help us see thru the 9

human conundrum are doing a great job; very helpful indeed. But they are priests, psychologists and psychiatrists or just good kind people assisting the humanity to get over the bumps on a very rough road that we don’t even see properly. They are therapists and they are not looking further than that.

They want all of us to feel well and they uncover for us a paved road where none visibly exists without potholes and rocks to stumble upon. I am all praise for their efforts.

They reveal secrets that otherwise these poor people would never uncover on their own.

And through this they open the vista of spirituality for many. But it is all based on the philosophy of acceptance. They are accepting things as they are and making the best of disturbing situations. They are showing the populace the methods available to live better and bring greater harmony in their lives.

But this is not the goal of my brotherhood. We are aiming for change; change in the entire set-up and make-up. This requires grappling with our sub-conscious. This is not an unknown concept. Everyone today who is studying personal emancipation knows about “chakras� and how we can raise our level of consciousness but even in this none seems to be stressing on the point that a permanent 10

state can be achieved only when honesty, calm, harmony and peace get established in the subconscious below and we start to live at the intuitive level above and beyond the mind.

These words of yours:" But for people who haven't even started or haven't a clue about how to proceed, just reading about the mess could be overwhelming and discouraging, without any hope for positive change or forward movement. We need direction, obviously. "

You are right as usual. But this book or my writing is not for them as yet. It would be kinder to let them enjoy their lives and messes a little longer till they get tired of it all. The real work is to be done with children but it is always the adults who have to do it and start it all. And this vicious cycle needs to be broken but how?

These words of yours need a considered reply: "People do want to read your stuff as evidenced by your large following on social media.

They will read your stuff and it will affect them, as it has me. I want to read your stuff. I don't mind so much the negative approach to jolt people out of their stupor, but, and this is just me, after awhile, I want to hear what you think we should do about it. I want your years of experience and work to 11

guide me in a proper direction, or at least, make suggestions as to what I could do."

Books and posts can only be general and are written as generalisations. Individual guidance is possible only at the individual one-to-one level. And here you must also accept that all answers are modulated to fit the receptive abilities of the person asking for guidance. The right choice of words served in the right dose (like in good medicine practice) for best effectivity as felt by the teacher.

In the last 400-500 years, the written word took a life of its own. Writing instruments became easier to use and available in easy to use forms. This permitted writers to put down their thoughts and experiences for posterity.

The number of people who began learning to read and write also grew. This permitted due to improvement in technology of mainly printing to make the works of the authors available to a greater public and in faraway places. Communication improved with trade and the written word started spreading. It was unstoppable and welcome. This engendered the transfer of learning and the digital age has brought it to its peak. The possibilities of intellectual development are now at its peak. The mind knows and has the tools to know more at the press of a few 12

buttons. The Will to know is what needs to be honed and may be lacking.

Change is in the air yet there is also a lot of confusion and reproaches as the Instinctive and Intuitive nature of Man has not kept pace with all this learning. It has not kept pace because the subconscious is still working with the older primitive patterns and impressions.

I foresee the next 400-800 years getting devoted to this aspect in human development.

Let the most positive developments take root and spread with kindness and compassion foremost. It is our concerted duty to assist in this process.

Understand the negative elements that keep us back, block them and focus on the positives to create a new harmonious whole.

In the end, once the need to become aware of the subconscious is made, the question that begs for answer is: How do we recognise & change the patterns in the subconscious?

Simple: They are recognised as easily as the ones that disturb our status-quo. For change, superimpose the old habits by new ones. The tools needed are: Understanding of the element to focus on, Will, Persistence, & No compromises.

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The very best way is to make sure that children do not absorb wrong impressions in their formative years.

One example: Let us say we realise a habit of ours to get angry in traffic. Use reason to explain to yourself that it is all a waste of energy. We cannot correct the others. By pursuing angry methods to teach others a lesson we only invite quarrels and hurt to our selves. Keep on repeating this to your selftalking mind. Soon the subconscious will start talking back & when the right time comes in traffic at the moment you are going to explode again it will intervene. You will get the fraction of a second’s pause that may help you to slip into the “let-it-be” stage of thinking. Your ego will seethe inside but your reason may contain the explosion. Soon if you manage to do it often enough, the subconscious pattern will register a change.

Another thing to do is to ask how will my words & gestures affect me if I were to be treated in the same way? Watch the scenarios being acted out around you. Do you do something similar? You have to be totally sincere. No cover-ups & rationalising permitted. You don’t have to explain yourself to anybody.

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Words and our learning

WORDS have no accountability.

Yet we put all our trust in our learning in them.

Humans have very little integrity, Yet we trust their words implicitly.

Do we have a choice? Yes. Go behind and beyond them. Words are a world unto themselves. Life is not tied down to them – there is nothing to correlate the truth to what is uttered or written. Words are totally independent of reality and this why they are the perfect carriers for lies and untruths and humans with their perverted sense of manipulation use this function with great finesse.

But then it is not the words that are at fault but the human minds that are using them.

The minds use them as a vehicle to transfer their thoughts. Errors in transfer are usually 15

due to reasons: 1) Lack of knowledge of proper words and their use 2) Wilful misuse.

That is why uneducated people are happier & contented. They are less confused.

This second economy based on the digital age technology where humans are not required is going to create a chasm like it did between the literate and illiterate. I keep wondering how people will earn a living or even survive!

Now that machines are taking over everyday activities and untruths simply don’t work in this scenario. It is so difficult to impress the machines with words and lie to them for personal gain.

Perhaps the need to hide behind words will also disappear? We need to stop using words to hide. Honest openness achieves more.

Accept things, drop pretence, be a person with nothing to hide.

Just being clever or physically able and fit won’t be enough in the scenario that is building up. (But then secretly I think this digital dependency is going to crush the civilized world so bad that the aborigines will have control of life again) 16

Religion is a good excuse

We can ordinarily blame our angst against each other on religion. It is a good horse that can take a lot of whipping. When we are dealing with intangibles like the concepts of God and the right way to live with Him then we have only words to play with and they mean nothing. And when God speaks to His chosen people, every excuse and any excuse will do and is brought into play.

Words are used to conjure images which are limited to our minds and in religion every individual is carrying a different image of the truth. Quarrels begin when we get inordinately attached to our images and abhor the images of the others. So finally it is the play of words which is at fault – not the religions.

Religion is not always a necessity really. The human mind can always find words and excuses to push its personal agendas. The colour of the skin, the accent, the habits, the clothes and the style of cuisine and just about everything else is also good for a fight.

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What happens in real life has little to do with religion and religious teachings. Religion, if anything is just a cloak we wear and an excuse to further our personal desires, animosities and fears.

Religion may be an excuse but never the real reason. But the passions that it can bring to boil are without compare. The real reason for all quarrels is personal animosities/fears.

Religions are labels that do not affect the personas of the people until and unless rigidly indoctrinated to serve a typical behaviour since birth like getting children brainwashed to act as suicide bombers. Some of the most devilish people on earth come from the ranks of Priests. The influence they have always had and the immense harm or good they can do is without possibility of calculation.

This is the Demon in humans. Turning everything if possible to personal advantage and profit with no regrets felt.

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Playing cleverly & with some cunning

Yes we can be extremely clever and deeply double. Blocking ourselves and playing hiding games with the Universe. Fooling nobody really! In the end reaching nowhere but, having had the pleasure of wining some moments of glory that are soon forgotten or remembered only as unhappy incidents by others whom we managed to shut-up or in our minds - vanquish.

The life as practiced by humans is too mentalised, intellectualised and structured and supremely instinctive at the same time; not in agreement with itself, totally out of balance with reality; tugged by education, conditioning and instinct without forgetting the original character/nature given to us by Mother nature at birth. We think of one thing, talk of another and act totally in another way.

Yet we call ourselves individuals. What a joke!

That we shall have the courage to allow clean & only beautiful thoughts and attitudes to enter our lives is another matter. Life is so 19

organised around earning an income within the stipulated system that few would dare to do so and life won’t really let you. I did, and am still happily living so, but there is always an underlying feeling of terror as to what life will dish out next. But it is possible to stick to our principles. The Universe helps.

We talk of God and magic but have no real trust in them.

When one aligns with the "dirty" - life then shapes itself around it - No wonder. When there is filth in the basic consciousness, it will show in life, health, habits & attitudes - in fact everywhere. The opposite too.

Speaking in general, certain communities wherever it may be in the world and even whole countries have the same affinity. They just can't "think" clean or make any effort to make things beautiful. They always take the short-cuts and underhand methods to achieve their ends. It shows on their face and the areas under their influence.

Best not to let them pull you in their vortex.

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Life and your effort quotient

The malefic influence of planets, does it bother you or/and does it frighten you? Do you believe the astrologers and the magicians? Have you noticed certain similarities in life’s pattern? How to understand where all this originates? Does it come from the planets? Can the innumerable solutions in the form of mumbo-jumbo with all the ceremonies change the place of Saturn up there, then how will things change?

This seems to upset people.

But what does happen, all the chantings, music, play with colour and stones, smells etc puts us in touch with the harmonious vibrations and energies and these create the terrain for the garden to grow.

But what I have noticed, that the average populace that is not used to using its will and reason, is continuously under the sway of unseen influences. Stars indicate some of the energies in force at particular times and do give the indications of the Forces at play but 21

does that mean we are stooges with little or no say in our lives? Technically the answer for the general populace would be yes because the populace is permitting itself to be totally influenced by the general forces at work. It is neither prepared nor interested in applying any kind of control from “reason and with Will�. Mainly I see Beings playing with the unmindful simpletons on this earth who give thru them to these Beings opportunities to play with the energies and cause the everyday happenings on this earth.

When all is said and done, only two things remain in our records. There are really only two columns in our karmic registers: With how much kindness or how much cruelty one has lived. Every other noun, adjective or verb that we may use in its final analysis falls under these two categories. The soul knows only this. The soul is interested in evolving into a persona of kindness. The rest is only a collection of short stories that have no permanence.

So keep an eye on yourself. Which side of the register is filling up? Life will unfurl along these lines.

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Will my telling be of any worth?

Telling about awareness to people who are aware is of not much value.

Telling people about awareness who find nothing wrong with their lives is equally of no use.

Telling people about awareness that are deaf from the noise of their own voices is positively useless.

Then why waste so much energy in answering questions that are not being asked? And I ask myself why I am putting it all down here? I must admit that I feel the need to share my experience through these words although I don’t expect much to be made out of them. I have had some very positive experiences that have made my way and life easier. I have also learnt what is behind all this unpleasantness in people’s lives and this life on earth.

Perhaps this sharing will ameliorate and assist to bring change for others too?!

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What are we?

Nobody is anything. A spark created by fires of the moment. Soon there are more and newer fires and sparks. Why bother about these tiny fires that will die out by morning anyway. Now where is that wood for my fire?

Instead of looking after our own fire and firewood, we spend more time worrying about others and interfering too. Let us refrain from analyzing and explaining the life of others to them; at least not until we are asked three times at the very least.

Although a wise man sees everything around him and learns from it but continuously giving unasked for advice is inappropriate; making impersonal observations in the mood of sharing is alright. Usually our insights are all very self-centred. We do see everything in reference to us - colored heavily by our desire centre, vanity and bits of random information collected by the mind. Everyone sees and immediately recognises the other's discontentment. They see them wallowing in it but the others only see their saintly forbearance in a world out to make it bad for them. We may only prick their vanity finally.

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Nonsense

When a subject is beyond us, beyond our learning and experience, it is easily dubbed as nonsense and of no value.

Whatever is "nonsense�? How is it defined and who is to define it and on what basis?

For example, a lot of people said from the modern medicine block that all this praying and eating some Tulsi (holy basil) is nonsense.

Tulsi is revered as a goddess in India and some conditions are prescribed on the religious scale for its keeping and use. Most Indian households follow it religiously. Use it in tea and other things as well.

Now even the scientific world agrees that its benefit cannot be over exaggerated.

Then take the instance of Turmeric (curcuma) - it is quite the rage. Indians have been using it because our sages told us to do so since god knows when.

There was no "clinically proven" method to back up its use.

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Where did all this knowledge come from?

Yes I think that many obvious factors are being ignored and machine based diagnostics have not got better in the modern world of modern medicine which I feel still has thinking patterns of the battle field behind it as that is where it developed. The impersonal correctness of science has destroyed the intuitive method of knowing. Many half baked theories were put out, touted, disproved and the consequences are there for all to see.

New ones are added daily.

Well the only good I can see is that it forced them to research further and think again and they are now discovering the natural principles that older medical system always knew.

Even today there are many Vaids in India who can diagnose better and more accurately by just reading the pulse and checking on some specific factors and symptoms. WHILE the millions of expensive, impoverishing tests 26

only create reams of paper that the doctors are unable to make anything out of or come to any conclusion with. I have said before, modern medicine has a marvellous surgery side but the medicine side is still in the developing stage. The tendency to intervene forcefully as the “doctor� to be a know-all can be seen very prominently. Plus the medical field has not used its influence to improve on the actual quality of living by influencing the political leaders in doing "good" for the people. Rather it has joined the cabal and done more harm.

In Ayurvedic times the medical experts (The kingdom's designated Guru) were always consulted by the kings before any major decisions were taken.

Creating glitzy hospitals and drug delivery systems that look clean and shiny makes the human mind fall into the illusion that they really know what they are doing. The drama is so attractive. Nobody teaches the public that good medicine starts at home with lifestyle and food. If a good regimen is followed the chances the need to go to a hospital will never arise.

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Not looking far enough

The problem with modern life and medicine is that it wants to save and prolong life without having any goal of what to do it for – no matter if qualitatively health is compromised.

This kind of situation occurs when nothing but “insincerity� is at the bottom of the entire culture. The Patients, The Doctors, The Pharma industry are all totally living in a reality in which Life and Wellness is really not the focus.

The human mind is greatly influenced by figures. Look at the world records in The Guinness Book. Most of the records are based on highest, largest, biggest and such figures.

Making a 10mtrs long sausage is a wonder; but to what purpose? The ability to make it is already there and there is no change in that; the change is only in the mechanics involved.

No value in my eyes.

I just read of somebody who survived cancer for 20 years and to battle (why do they use this word) it he had to suffer chemo therapy, 28

amputation and 6 other operations with incapacitations and drugs and their aftereffects. Sounds like a miserable way to survive. Is this kind of a life worth living?

Dying after it all never the less? Is the high cost in trouble to relatives and friends and the monetary loss to the family worth it? I would never allow it and put the funds to better use to raise my children properly. The next generation is what matters. ....and when you tell them that you are being poisoned and that most of the diseases are now due to this environmental poisoning they argue back that the diseases are being detected better but there is really no increase or spread.

I have seen more intelligent ostriches!

I must say that I feel that this factor of attributing to better diagnostics is a makeme-comfortable thought. Certain practices in 20th century and addition of chemicals & gadgets in life style and products cannot be ignored this way.

Have we not made changes of any kind in our way of living in the last hundred years?

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I come from a place where we look at life from the 8000 years old Ayurvedic way of life and Intuitive way of looking at life. We feel, like & listen to the breeze and the sun and the signals from our body.

Reducing life to be seen only thru microscopes & telescopes is depending too much on the mechanics of it all. Can medicine be mechanised to this extent?

I think I am saying very precisely what I wish to focus on. But there would be a tendency to ignore it as worthless from the so called scientific thinkers who need to see everything with their eye organs or refuse to believe in it. I wonder how a whole culture can ignore things like: Wastes gases from cars/vehicles Pesticides, additives, synthetic derivatives Food processed out into dead stuff Electromagnetic/microwaves, Plastics Unnatural, unknown to the body elements or adding too much of certain elements and still call them safe.

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We are the culprits

Our desire for tasty food and focus only on this aspect of food to judge the goodness of food has given the sword to the food industry to kill us wholesale. The medical fraternity finds this quite acceptable. But it seems to me the entire modern medicine is focussed on Evade & Avoid death at any cost + pain; whatever happens but no pain! The treatments are often worse than the illness. I would consider death a release rather. For instance amputations, chemotherapy, vaccinations of dubious efficacy that are giving rise to horrendous lifelong ailments etc The philosophy espoused by safe, unrestrained consumption as of using Aspartame in the guise of sugar-free & certain oils for fat-free consumption is a colossal joke played on humanity at humanity's expense.

Symptomatic relief is available with instant pills like pain killers, sleeping pills etc.

Diseases continue to fester silently.

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This is a clear indication of the error in the so-called scientific method in devising new drugs. For one the constitution of no two individual is the same. Secondly there are many others factors involved in the healing process that our present day methods do not take into account.

This makes the entire system based on the labelling of a disease and then using a singled out drug for that disease suspect. We should be treating the person, not just a "label".

Then the efficacy of any given drug in relation to the person is suspect anyway.

The question is how to open our eyes to the fact that we don’t really fully understand the process. The answer is not from intervention from outside but to allow the body to speak to us. An ache or fever is indicative of something wrong; not to be suppressed with Paracetamol. There are many indications from recent research that we are best when we follow the basic knowledge and practices that have evolved over the last few centuries/thousands of years of practice. For example it is now well understood that Vitamin D is in great short supply in most 32

individuals and stepping into sunlight is the simple solution.

Also eating pesticide laced, or hormone laced food is doing us a lot of harm. And all the processing for taste enhancement and longer shelf lives cannot be any good either. Then there are reports after reports of other habits that we have picked up that are not helping.

The blitz the media indulges in to promote concepts by the Pharma and food industry to promote their products with half lies or outright lies is also damningly a reality.

I wonder, I would say am even convinced that there are no humans with feelings and hearts behind these products and industries. It is definitely the ungodly influences at work.

For instance that fat is bad but their hydrogenated oils & margarine are good. Do you now realise the harm that has been to us over the last 50-60 years?

And the microwaves and magnetic fields that we have surrounded ourselves with are best left un-discussed along with the smoke and smog that we so love.

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What we pass on to children

Dear Sir, Could you please share common negative thinking or notions or patterns which we tend to transmit unintentionally to the next generation.

Warm Regards - Vani

Dear Vani, thanks for your mail appreciating the points raised.

I can only give you some examples of traits that get passed on.

1) WE pay attention to our child only when sick - this reinforces the habits of whining.

2) Parents lie for small things - children become proud of their ability to lie out of a situation and become habitual fibbers 3) Parents may complain all the time to prove how much they are victims of circumstances, then they may blame their fate - children 34

learn that nothing is their fault but of others and destiny and so they do not make effort to improve themselves.

4) Parents make promises that they have no intention to keep - this becomes a very nasty habit with children of never taking their own words seriously.

5) Then there are other attitudes like parents only thinking of their "fun" and neglecting their children - the children of course become selfishly oriented.

6) Parents do so much for the child that the child never learns anything or become selfthinking or supportive. The child lives in a dream state where he expects everything will be done for him and that the responsibility of his life is on others.

7) Then there are the fears; subconscious fear patterns that get passed on to give complexes. There are also prejudices like separatists thoughts against religions and entire communities, sense of superiority thru religious dogmas, castes and colours of skin.

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These become huge stumbling blocks in life specially at the work-place, marriages and when you are in a team and later in society when others throw back at you your own reservations.

The world is not designed to correct and show the way - the world simply rejects or accepts us. People are not there to help you or educate you. The world is a huge market place where everyone is out to outbid the rest. You are totally on your own. So much misery can be avoided by inculcating the right attitudes and habits; parents alone can do this as the child is totally under care in the first few years. I say that parents have failed their children in this scenario. That is why I have always advocated that before we get into marriage and produce children, we should also take some courses in psychology, understand general medicine and management principles and some philosophy of life and training programs to live with others and consider others and life in totality.

Become a little more conscious than we are.

And if nothing else then at least consciously treat children as the most important part of 36

our lives as we are playing with their lives in totality.

Generally speaking 90% of our character traits get passed on. And not only of the parents but also of the relatives and family around us; not forgetting the influences from the TV in which the subconscious messages are even stronger as they are absorbed without the backing of actual experience of life. So in the final analysis there is nothing that we can isolate as negative traits but we can say that all our negative traits get passed on but then so do the good ones. Humanity bumbles along.

The traits become our stumbling blocks and we are hurt by them, we ignore them, give excuses and find scapegoats etc. This is the game of life. Our ego and egoistic self is always in prominence BUT…When we consciously try to become better people, improve ourselves, then we have to face this aspect and the subconscious does not lend itself to change readily in later years.

The importance of Positivity in raising children which I am afraid is mostly lacking.

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Q from a friend - What will be your reaction be when she will grow and not listen to you even? Will you feel bad or proud? That time will only take your final exam. It is really tough when somebody you like and trust is not reacting according to your will and wishes.

My answer As for - if she will listen to me or not, I am not expecting her to listen to me. I am not a tyrant that I would expect my child to live by my wishes and will. Expecting children to be reflections of the wishes of parents is a huge mistake. This has been the major stumbling block of our people’s evolution in India.

I am training her to think and decide for herself and showing her the values by examples, stories and sharing with her about my personal life, trials and tribulations and all the lessons learnt the hard way. My attitude is that I am here and I will stand by her and join her. I am not running her life but 38

helping her to run hers. So it is up to her; even now I make her take her decisions.

Feeling bad is an ego thing which is there but in my case I think it will not be so serious a matter. I explain to her why I am doing things, why others do things and such discussions. The whole relationship is based on mutual regard, affection and trust and the understanding that we are two different persons with different fates and destinies.

When adults listen and talk to children, the children never become a problem and stay friends forever. Most adults do not listen to their children but keep on talking to them from high vantage point, ordering them, deciding everything for them and then later the children don't listen to them – their first wish is to run away.

There is a saying: If we shall not listen to their small concerns now, they will not tell us their major/ big things later.

At the same time, every time an opportunity comes I put across my point-of-view based on the philosophy I have acquired. Hoping that she would be a positively oriented person 39

with enough experience of life and things to know what to pursue and where to go on her own.

I am trying to pass on all that I have done and learnt and adding travels to her curriculum so that she has discovered “herself� by the time she is in her 20s without being contaminated with my wishes and pursuing life to suit me as parents are normally wont to make children do. They plan out for their children in detail and keep on misguiding them in subtle ways so that the children never go far from the agendas of their parents. In a very subtle way, with control on the purse strings the parents make their children carry the burden of their own ideas and weight of their dreams.

I remember the tons of negative thinking that was downloaded into me due to the family conditions and traditions coupled with noneducated thinking. All my life's energy went into cleansing myself of this burden which was totally misplaced and out of place as the world changed radically when my generation came along and their advice which was conditioned by the thoughts of security was rather trying to keep me back tied to their 40

apron strings instead of letting me fly on my own powerful wings.

Hope I do a better job for her so that she can flower without the need to cleanse herself of our stupid notions.

One of the most important facets of my attitude to bringing children up is to make them realise that cleverness, subterfuge and drama do not take us far. That these are recognisable by others and we do not fool anyone. The route of clear-cut honest simplicity and honesty works better in the long run by making friends and confidantes that gives us a big supportive family worldwide outside our birth family.

All the disposition of friendliness, ability to make things, creativity, the artist in children – all these need nurturing. The parents if they are sincere towards their wards need to make effort to promote and grow with their child.

Life does not recognise your "Rights"

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Most of us think of ourselves as martyrs to God's ways, Bad luck, Karma or whatever. The list of misfortune’s behaviour gets longer forcing us to look but we are so clever and readily find scapegoats to rationalise everything. From the angle of psychological perfection, often with experience we have learnt a lot yet we are not prepared to use this “learning” consciously and convert it into practice but we prefer to be over-confident, astutely stubborn and refuse to accept that we may be mistaken - rather we consider this as unthinkable; our arrogance and ego cannot see any possibility of error, even though life proves it to us time after time at least 6 times every day. The cussedness shown by human make-up is astounding. Are they suffering due to it? We think yes but I think not.

Thousands of years of experiences, repeated lifetimes, written and spoken words counted to the power of “n”, teachers in droves repeating the same lessons in every age and corner of the world, but the human mind has not budged from its stance. Are they suffering for it? Doesn’t look like it.

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What is needed is kindness in our thoughts.

You can't be kind and not be happy!

At the same time you can't be careless and not have to pay for it.

Life goes on by its rules and we may cry ourselves hoarse otherwise. You can't irritate the scorpion and not be bit! You can't go out in the rain and not be drenched! You can’t live by unwholesome food and not be sick!

They say I have choices but none over the consequences. Not so sure about this. I don't see having much choice about anything.

I could not even choose my parents and the entire family and consequences that came with it. So I ask what choice. They talk of freedom of expression. What nonsense.

"Rights" are morals and ethics - issues that humans want to impose and live by. I don't see LIFE recognizing these rights.

The religious quagmire.

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I have seen people talk about other religions and people with such confidence that it boggles the mind. Yet these people have never lived with people of the other religions nor ever read anything directly from their texts. They judge, comment and discuss it all with great panache. Where did they get their impressions from? Ask them and you will be surprised. Best is not to get into thinking and discussions on this subject. You have your own religion; Focus on it and in being kind whatever it is.

Let us do the best we can in the circle we are. This is the essential. Focus on ourselves rather than showing the way to others.

The organisational heads of any codified set of belief have always used the suggestive power of God's ways & fear of the unknown to control the minds and life of lesser endowed humanity. From this angle religion becomes an enemy.

For the thinking populace, sincerely wanting to better itself, sincerely looking for answers to their questions on life, all life, including 44

religion becomes a source of answers.

The Sufi and Zen philosophies appeal to me as they are open ended and it is difficult to base dogmatic precepts on them. But for this very particular reason you won’t find too much of it commonly. People want a nail to hang their coat on! Codified religions do just that.

And if you have the misfortune of being or trying to understand Hindus, I can only pray for you because with their of Gods and millions of sub gods and their infinite interpretations, with no unified guiding principles, they live a totally personal philosophy that is mind-blowing for the ordered & regulated minds of people coming from other rigid religions. Even the Hindus can barely tolerate or comprehend each other.

The Great Divide

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Why “WE” the people who were living comfortably in the arms of nature don’t matter to the world centred in the ruling spots like Washington, London and Paris etc.

Today we have managed to sell ourselves to some powers with financial clout. But I blame us for it.

1) We were too busy with ourselves and had enough of all needs met by natural means.

2) Our quarrels were petty and virtually internecine.

3) We were neither ready nor interested in developing further. Most of the cultures subjected to colonialism were people who were culturally stagnant - Contented to exist in their bubbles.

4) Mother Nature always brings in forcedchange thru wars or migrations due to natural disasters.

5) The colonialists were better armed to kill from a distance and far better organised and disciplined – very comfortable in working as a team; we have as yet not learnt much from it all and once the Europeans left, whatever 46

lessons were imparted have been quickly forgotten and we have slipped back into the natural rhythm we are comfortable in.

6) Our inability to respect, trust & support each other and domains was capitalised upon by the diplomacy of mistrust and greed and this made us fight each other.

Trouble started not with the kingship, after all somebody has to be king and one is as bad or as good as the other. The colonialists would not accept the blacks, browns and followers of other religion, languages as one of the human race. They labelled them all as pagans, savages & kafirs and used this as an excuse to annihilate in entirety as much as they could get away with as it suited their needs. The locals were fit in their eyes for enslavement and this they did with extreme prejudice. This created a great divide of pride and ego and clashes were bound to be.

They still continue.

Had the colonialists governed and handled the teeth-gnashing of these local childish revolts with wisdom, without hurting their local 47

pride, they would have and could have stayed on forever as kings.

No. The colonialists used excessive force and hurt the egos rather deeply & badly. The locals really never mattered. But hurting egos always matters.

The younger people are not aware of the deep feelings these subjects still carry. How deeply they are embedded in the mentality of the ruling class. For although the apparent philosophies that we see around us thru media is more mature, at the decision making level nothing has changed.

Economics and immediate benefits are the main inspirations for all decisions.

The narrow-mindedness is appalling. Casteism in many forms rules our thinking. Not to forget that the colonialists have left their strong imprint by utilising and brain washing a whole class of people to their way of doing things. They now are the new rulers.

Humans & their Mental Kingdom

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Very few people pray and this gives prayer a bad name – that it is all humbug. For most people prayer is wishing. Wishes that are directed to an unknown entity we call God or some other name. These wishes are not laced with kind and compassionate thoughts. If we analyse the thoughts and wishes, if they were to be granted, would require some damage to happen in another domain. It is unfortunate that our hopes are not for betterment of all of us and the society and the world we live in. Real Aspiration brings results. Positive thoughts always create positive happenings�.

Place your thinking on the conscious mode so that you do not ignore signals and avoid the route corrections when necessary in your life.

Yes it all starts from being Grateful and that is one thing that we are not.

We are more proud of living well in a shoddy world rather being bring proud of a beautiful world that we are engaged in making.

Nobody lies.

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Nobody is ever really lying. There are no liars.

There are different perspectives. Everybody recounts events from their personal perspective. Individually each of us has a private, very personal perspective and our “telling� will be colored by it.

The selfish ones see things from the point of their hurts. The employer sees it from the point of view of profits. The doctor sees it from the point of view of his expertise in one particular field. The teacher sees it from the point of view of the syllabus. The student sees it all from the point of view of exams.

There is often deformation in the telling but then that is the tweaking that has to be done to make a coherent story. There is exaggeration, deletion, suppression or addition in the telling but then it is not really a lie. It is the strategy and the strategic demands that impose on the telling. The mistake would be to get upset and add morality into the judgment of others. It would serve greater purpose to understand how psychology works and understand life from 50

your own point of view and rationally take action based on this understanding of things.

We have umpteen stories right thru history and ages when a hungry mother or father or child was caught for theft of a piece of bread.

Theft is a serious affair right? But when somebody speaks lies, denigrates another, gossips with malefic intentions isn’t that theft of somebody’s reputation. Nothing can be done in this instance so is it a lie or not?

In a way we are comfortable with lies. We all indulge in it without exception. But profess to be against it. Charlatans!

Does anyone notice how morbid we are permitting ourselves to become. We are allowing ghastly sights and forms to become part of our lives increasingly. We are allowing thoughts of garish nature to infiltrate our consciousness. We are using more and more slang and abusive words. We associate easily and comfortably with hurtful images and movies and games.

We are getting inured.

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We are playing with forms that earlier would be related to voodoo and black magic. Does one at all understand that if we are slaying beauty, poetry, generous feelings in our atmosphere we are unleashing thoughts of forms that will then try to materialise themselves and do their thing?

The mayhem we so deplore or at least the polite society so wants to show that they deplore is completely nascent in the seeds we are sowing. I just saw a cake shaped like a baby that one has to cut into pieces to eat.

God forbid. Once this image takes shape in our consciousness, it will settle in our subconscious and then one day try to come to life. Awful. We absolutely must - only associate with our highest aspirations and their manifestations in the most beautiful forms we can. Anything else will pull us in the opposite direction and the seeds will flower one day, we like it or not. Sheer dirt!

Lazy minds - active otherwise 52

We have been advised by all and sundry, even qualified idiots that we should go for walks in the freshness of early mornings. Of course.

Yes. This makes sense in the freshness of the morning cool. Especially if you are by the sea and away from polluted areas like perhaps in the mountains, away from the cities.

The freshness of the dew, the breeze if any and the cooler temperatures are conducive to clean breathing and meditation. Moreover with the beginning of the working day smoke from fires and humans, rolling stock and vehicles start throwing up dust into the living space and temperatures can go up alarmingly.

So the human mind picks up this adage and prides itself by virtuously following the advice by rising early (in comparison to the lazybones), going for a morning walk (in comparison to the laggards), following healthy habits (in comparison to the careless).

The additional advantage being that all this is good for health and some virtuous seeming gossip later in the day. Don’t forget to notice 53

the comparisons that are bubbling in everyone’s head. It is this comparative activity that I wish to bring attention to. We are always comparing everything in a light so that we can perceive ourselves as better. This is how we validate our greatness.

Today the air is polluted to an extent when experts are being forced to advise to the contrary. But I don’t think the virtuous are going to be balked of their good deed of the day. They follow their own prejudice of “I go for a walk regularly every morning at 5 am”.

I am totally aghast at seeing older, vulnerable people going out in the chill of winter mornings. To people with asthma, I have never been able to make understand that they should keep their windpipes covered and warm and their lungs protected from chills.

It becomes a matter of pride to prove to the world that they were never wrong and not are now.

We are adamant and refuse to budge on stands that we have taken. Every year, with a regularity that is unbelievable the same people fall sick in the same manner; “having caught a chill”, “Sore throat”, “bronchitis”, 54

or “a bit of fever”. The same illness in the same conditions at the same time of the year!

Something to complain about and it gives them a good reason to talk about their misfortunes & the conditions they have to live in and bear so stoically. What can they do? It is their fate!

How will it hurt their pride to come out a little later and avoid all the complications?

Wear clothes more suitable, change clothes as the weather asks; just put in this effort to ward off illness which brings pain, discomfort, and expenses and is always a miserable experience. Mind over matter I suppose. I give up on this human non-thinking, mentally active to prove their virtuousness but mentally lazy when it comes to logical, introspective reasoning & doing something about it. Don’t they have a “memory”? Why do they always wait for the fire to start before they will go to dig the well? They’ll defend their point of view, even argue for hours, but take no action.

As for us old farts.

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Let us join the young world and enjoy the new sources of fun it provides. Drop the sentence “In our time...� Go along with the young. It will bring us joy, fun in our lives and teach them something.

My personal experience is that old farts are too stuck in their greatness, to rigid in their attitudes of having done all and seen all; refusing to see the opportunities. People simply have no time or inclination to broaden their perspectives. Well, as a matter of fact, I suppose nobody does when things are rolling smoothly. It is not easy to think away from the comfort zone of successful hey-days.

People fall back on their old methods and try harder to replicate the little successes they have known. Learning from the experience of others is not a very strong human forte.

Grappling new ideas require a kind of courage that is both moral and physical. For one you have to let others know that you are failing and second you need the guts to jump into an unknown zone. It requires to become mentally open, curious and young again. This can be daunting. I suppose complaining and 56

discussing is all that people really want.

There is no real need to take action.

Our predecessors, let us say before the digital age, did not have such fast changes to contend with. I don’t think they thought much about anything. Life had many opportunities and products and services were in demand. Laws were simpler and technology was simple too. But now the scenario is scary and unpredictable.

The world is going through an upheaval of sorts. Hopefully everything will readjust to the human psychological and psychic levels once the learning process of this present moment is over.

If you look closely there is already a huge change in selling techniques and the way companies are offering their products. The personal interaction is coming back and the corporate affairs are thinking small as well.

Posturings of our idea of spirituality.

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We love listening to spiritualists. People throng to listen to them. What are they expecting? Look at the crowds some speakers are able to collect. What is the secret hiding there? Is it our inability to recognize the “real” or is it our wishful thinking of “Attaining” it all without trying. Thousands of years of lecturing in very corner of the world by enlightened souls over & over don’t seem to have done much for the world. And to top it all, most of these spiritualists are talking of things that are totally intangible to the listeners. But yes, it may “feel” elevating” and give the impression of being connected with The Higher Self and then it is so easy to identify oneself with IT. Such subjects like the Divine and His ways, The Consciousness, The Soul and such subjects like Detachment, Happiness and Untold Riches. Things that I feel go totally out of the “essentialities” & purview of most worldly people. What I feel, everyone is looking for is answers to their personal anguishes and of course some magic that the anguishes will somehow transform into ecstasy by the Powers that be and that these 58

people represent a direct link to Divinity. How do people get it into their belief system that these people will transform their lives; all they have to do is to listen to them.

There is this idea going around that Satsang helps. I think this is what is happening. A few moments in listening to “spiritual� words is being literally translated as Satsang. It is easily recognizable as listening to sermons in temples, mosques and churches and organized gala evenings for speakers and singers. But for the remaining period in their lives, these same people consort with the most terrible hurtful thoughts, activities and behaviours; rarely wondering or taking care of screening the kind of people they are spending their time with.

Essentially it is all pretending.

This is going outward to searching for solutions in the world that is pressing down on us. The average Joe is quite content to have been born and somehow now finds himself in need of a home, food and satisfaction of his primordial needs. So considering the limited awareness that he has 59

had a chance to develop, he feels the answers to his problems are in somehow removing the weight that is pressing down on him. These so called spiritualists seem to know how to do that. And if not, the astrologers seem to know what exactly needs or can be done.

Well I hope they find what they are looking for. I personally feel that the answers are in learning first about the world and every subject head comes under this requirement; then developing a positive and sincere attitude to life that begins by basic honesty and integrative thinking, feeling and speech/action. The answers will come from within when we stop taking life as Kismet and Destiny and do something about it. Kismet and destiny are definitely there but helpless to assist without our effort to begin with.

Embrace life with curiosity and it will open its secrets to you. Let not one year pass without having done something new, radically new at that.

I am just a fence.

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I belong to neither to the people on the left nor to the people on the right. It is more like no-man’s land. I am just here; not really wanted but a necessary evil to be tolerated – often even derided. Nobody sees any individuality in me and no personality. My worth is the little assistance I give in being the wall in an argument. Otherwise I am quite a nuisance. Even the sheep, cows and bulls think of me as useless interfering thing. I need attention and have to be kept in good repair which makes me a liability. What worth do I bring by my presence? None!

Are you feeling like this?

Stuck in family or business situations in which your worth is that of a small screw that keeps things together but does not really matter because it is easily replaced or often it is in such a position that the machinery would continue to go on without it?

The Change

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The human persona is made and constituted in such a way that its prime purpose is to maintain continuity in the Mother Earth’s evolutionary process. At this juncture there isn’t much focus given to the possibility of hurrying things up. To speed up this process the mind is needed. So we begin by training it to observe and feed it with information. Once it is well fed, it unfortunately, tends to take a life of its own and then it becomes the barrier it was supposed to break down.

So the first question we need to pose is how good is the instrument and how well is it performing?

Between the receptor instrument the ear and the eye and the brain that is going to interpret the information, there is a vast space where the subconscious with its habits, the desire mind with its obvious agenda, the reasoning mind with its limiting logic, the physical body's small mind focussed on its comfort, the emotional mind with all its turbulence...... all these have outposts; and try (and normally always succeed) to way-lay the information for their own advantage by adding or deleting much from it.

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What would be the way by which we reduce these outposts to nothing and then see the Reality in all its purity?

Most Gurus equate this formation of the mind with the Ego and advise the removal of it. My discovery is different.

The removal and eliminating and transforming of the ego into a Divine being is a long process that has many tiny steps before it even becomes apparent that something is happening.

First we do not remove the ego but it can be transformed. It is transformed in to a positive being with all its strength intact; it is a gradual process of chipping away and re establishing balance in the persona. It does not, cannot happen all of a sudden - that one moment it is there and the other it is not.

The intellectualised beings rationalise and talk of this and that. But habits and thinking patterns that have their roots in the subconscious rarely change. Some superficial changes are possible but it is mostly applied psychology at work.

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Most of the changes remain at the intellectual level while their hidden subconscious being remains the same quietly influencing everything without the mind ever realising what manipulation is going on.

You will see many examples of apparent niceness in this world. But is it superficial or real? The poor knows he needs others to survive so he keeps a tight control over his arrogance and show of politeness– you can mistake it as niceness.

The properly educated and the rich take pride in their sophistication and maintain it which makes them seem awfully stylish and kind.

They seem as very kind people till they are thwarted. People defer to their money power or social status so it is not that difficult to manage their image.

But given the freedom to act, within the confines of their homes or their kingdom, they show their real selves and it is rarely very nice.

The Path 64

People say that the path is more difficult to follow when there is no live Guru. This could be true. There will often be severe situations that overwhelm us so totally and fill us up with so many queries that we feel the dire need to talk to a live person. This is understandable. Talking is what we understand and the easiest route to clear the air. The very activity is so direct, easy to arrive at and something that we are doing all the time so all effort is simplified.

But is it the best way?

Most great Gurus that we trust and follow are from the times gone by; from the past. Like the easy names of Buddha, Confucius, Christ, Krishna. Why do we trust them so much and so easily? Has anyone given a thought to this?

I personally think that there are two reasons.

First)- They have proven themselves to many adherents and we have their word for it.

When so many people over the ages have maintained that the teachings or guidance has helped them, it is easy to begin believing in it. Second)- Names of most of the great Gurus carry weight. Disciples first begin by following hem and soon have enough understanding to raise a flag on their own and soon the really 65

intelligent ones who are also good business people see the necessity to organise and create organisations to expand the zone of influence of the teachings of the Guru. People flock to them automatically.

All these are people who technically become Preachers/Pracharaks of sorts. These then quietly take the mantle of Gurus. This works out to be good business as well and then the sheep need a leader.

So there are always live ones to answer questions and mostly mislead (maybe not intentionally) but who is there to argue and prove it. All truth is re-explained to the “chela� (student disciple) in the light of the experience and cunningness of this guru in the name of the Great Guru.

The correctness of the guidance is greatly colored by the language ability and communication style of the new teacher and the Truth does get garbled quite a bit.

Marketing techniques help. But I am not sure if it is not just recycled concepts being repeated from one angle or the other. But it serves the purpose as I see Ashrams coming up 66

in droves and adherents in millions; all very happy.

I think the insincerity of the learner matches the insincerity of the teacher and the train whistles on without much concern about the path as the rails are already laid down.

It is my contention that those who really know "See" The Creation from a different objectivity. They do not want to become teachers because it entails a lot of responsibility of the destiny of others. This can be considered as the first test of a true Seer. Which should be understood as saying that drama does not exist around true teachers but they are definitely dramatic in themselves.

And if you sincerely want to follow the path of Self-perfection or Self-upliftment, you have that Divine Spark in you to guide things for you. Listen to it and take every happening around you as a lesson or message trying to tell you something. Nothing is happening at random.

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There is another Truth. The Spirits of the great, who have been in physical bodies on earth, tend to exist in the vibrational elements of the earth. So your gurus are still around and if you invite them into your lives by prayer or aspiration they do their part.

Most of us are teachers too to somebody or the other. Which means - we have the power to influence. Are we acting with responsibility? Objective discernment becomes a necessity in practical life.

I think the path is easier now because of the doors that have been opened for us by our spiritual Masters. People are working with great zeal in “their� name, that is obvious but the admixture of personal agendas is mudding things. Every time I mention this the adherents get upset and indignant. I say if you were really committed, instead of bristling with indignation, you would have seen the wake-up call in the comment and laughed it off or meditated more deeply on it.

The Virtuous Fakes

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The ones who fake it to show off their virtuous side are the ones to be afraid of.

How do they show it? The signs are in the subjects of their conversations and their acts that they think show them in a good virtuous light. How do they come to this conclusion?

There are always some concepts that are considered proper and indicative of a higher divine nature and are in fashion in any age or culture. For instance in the late 20th century the concepts of being nice to animals & the extremely poor, save lives and the planet and regular public prayer gatherings are in vogue.

Their way of showing how much they care is very superficial like giving to charity or freeing a bird or two from a cage. Their real self which is quite self-centred can be well hidden this way. They do show their real colours now and then when somebody contradicts them. Watch out then for their burst of indignation and spray of words that come out in the protection of their pet subjects – these outbursts are designed to show off their virtuousness and it is best not to wrestle with them.

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Only a sense of great virtuousness, righteousness and need to correct the world remains. In their own eyes they a realised being.

This eventually becomes rather offensive to the world at large and gives birth to violence in the air, strong likes & dislikes and vengeful thoughts/acts.

Humans are quite abusive but hide it well in self-interest. The way humans treat their mates in many cases is worse than the way a good person would treat an animal. We live in such closed tiny glass containers. Wherever and whenever the human gets an opportunity, the sadistic side will out.

Most of our negative projections become visible in outbursts of some kind when the human is behaving in an unrestrained manner.

There is an element of cruelty deep down in all of us. If we focus in silence on our selves we can see the triggers. We really need to work on these factors because it an accepted fact that they influence our fate and lives too in very direct ways although the connections to what we feel, think now and what happens 70

a long later may not be so prominent to our factual minds.

Being offended is an important component of over-blown self-importance. This is a technique that is used by virtually all of us.

Some do it consciously and others instinctively.

Study and categorise your thoughts into a list.

What are the subjects that occupy your thinking or let us put it more accurately your "roaming in your mind"?

Some rather useless titles that I suggest: - The neighbour is washing his car again - Mrs X's dressing could do with some improvement - Oh he is so dumb - She is always on her mobile phone - If it were not for me, nothing would get done around here - I wish I had married the Clark guy etc etc.

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This is just to show how much of our thinking power, memory space and energy goes into inanities. Keeping our selves busy with subjects that remotely do not concern us but give us a lot to pump up our own vanities and clamour for sympathy and appreciation.

People need something to accuse and are easy with their accusations – more so to prove their own virtuousness. All actions can be interpreted in two or more ways. Envy can be behind the accusations or simply something to attract attention as do-gooders. But then these are the dangers of getting too much attention from the multitude that does not think.

Just because somebody smiles at you and wishes you good morning is no reason to think that secretly they may not despise you. We are so well trained to hide our insincerities.

And we are great at hurting others in innocuous, kind ways.

Fear as a friend.

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The job of fear is to perturb you. Your job is not to get perturbed. Nothing shows off your position on the evolution ladder like fear. The wise become calmer and contemplative. They withdraw, consider every aspect of the situation, analyse and let the subconscious supply the elements of tit-bits of information and then take considered decisions to act upon – with a strong will – and win.

On the other hand, a mind which is not evolved will go into a screaming fit. It will exaggerate try to frighten everybody around it and get everyone into the act. And in its agitated state will do exactly as the disrupting forces influencing it want it to do – most quite the most dangerous and opposite thing it can do under the circumstances. The primary fear behind all this is that this kind of a mind is afraid to be alone and feels secure in a group, specially when the group is also at the same mental level.

What can be termed as “Mob mentality”. It is more common than one would agree to. The mob mentality is not simply a group of people who are out to smash windows and burn cars because they are enraged due to some god73

forsaken reason. In a quieter way we are all belong to the mob mentality with our need to conform. We all want to belong. Belong to what? That is not very certain but we are certain that we are good enough in many ways meriting appreciation; and what others will “say” is then very important to us. This becomes our guiding force. This also instils the fear of not being appreciated and being wanted and we then try hard within the limits of our understanding to control our gestures and speak the right words – entering a world of total insincerity and always staying in it like the frog in the well. It is dishonesty to our self on a colossal scale. The first thing one notices about them is that they refuse to engage in anything deeply and are flippant – making charming promises with no intention to keep them; going back on their words and straight faced lying comes easily to them.

One thing separates this category of people clearly from others- when they do not agree or their vanity is hurt, they attack the offending person with vehemence; all do it with words and many may even get physical.

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The tragedy is that the whole group in which we are trying to integrate is at this level of inconscience and disconnect with the self.

Tell me those who do not belong to their own selves, will they ever belong or accept anyone else in their lives? Their milieu is strictly for personal gain and comfort. The rest of the world is seen and utilised as a tool with this end. It is like everybody patting each other in the social group, even helping each other out – personal profit is the only goal hiding at the back of everyone’s mind.

That is why there are “Orders” and uniforms.

This makes it easy to recognise where one belongs. A true being who is in the process of indentifying his self with the Universe would never feel comfortable in any of these regimented and structured mental prisons.

Those who are not afraid to get out and be free are easily recognisable. For one they do things rather unassumingly. They wear clothes for comfort and according to weather or the job at hand. They eat anything and everything that takes their fancy. They take their own words seriously and always deliver on promises which they make with great 75

consideration and rarely. It is a charmed life that they lead. They are intelligent enough to known that they may piss people off so they stay out of the mainstream and enjoy the sunsets alone. But they are not un-social.

Simply, they do not run after approbation and they may be good at what they do so people come to them and they are always happy to receive them.

Are they afraid? Yes but of what? They are deeply afraid of not being able to become better people. Their sincerity of purpose opens doors to their inner thoughts that they learn to see as “witnesses”. They have learnt to separate their logical mind from their mechanical, instinctive mind. They are able to observe the process happening within them such as how a word triggers anger or envy or joy. They are able to stop their instinctive responses; for instance in anger they don’t hit back but go silent instead. They don’t blurt out the first reaction that bubbles up in them. They are able to exercise restraint and when needed they can act whether they like it or not.

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They become acutely aware of the discordant notes that they sometimes play even when knowing to the contrary – in spite of themselves. And this scares them to no end as they remember the consequences that they can associate with in their past and see the past repeating itself. This is a great pain to them but they realise that something stronger than them is making things happen, and they are responding rather automatically most of the time.

At this juncture, they begin looking for answers and often find them which they put into practice in their life with will and determination. These are people who are evolving, growing and bettering themselves all the time, till their last breadth. One thing they don’t do – get into worthless arguments.

There is no time to waste in this short life and with something new occurring at every moment; who would want to miss out on the fun?

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Why are we so eager to have children?

People talk of progeny. Fine. People talk of carrying the name forward. What name? What has your name done to be remembered with so much reverence that it needs to be carried forward? People talk of continuity of the “family – the Dynasty”. So what is so great about your family? It looks like a good coverup to couple-up as soon as possible. And if children result - why not? If you can support them well, bring them up well and establish them well in life, I would say it is a good job well done.

I believe in letting the Universe do its job neither waiting nor exerting - simply playing with all the tools given.

But what appals me is the people having children while they are starving and do not have clothes on their back. When they give the same excuse as above then I really wonder. And then to support them arise all kinds of groups who want to help them, feed their children and do “good”. To me it looks 78

as if they are saving their souls own souls and feeling good but not doing much else. As long as these childbirthers will continue to be supported, why should they restrain their drives? They look human alright but their minds are still at the most primitive levels and are fully dominated by the spirit world that is out there playing with the instruments available to them. Put a male and female in close proximity and it will happen; bound to happen – with the poor absolutely but with the rich and rulers even more. The only time it does not happen is when the mind begins to find subjects of greater interest & attraction than sex.

The number of people ending having kids when they are not ready psychologically is very high. A lot of people get into marriages and automatically have kids because they have been conditioned to think so since their first days as being the goal of life and happiness lies in the coupling. They are trapped by the society they live in.

Until humans develop their will and discipline their minds to follow the dictates of their own reasoning, nothing great will happen.

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Life will go as Mother Nature intended; famines and poverty and riches and wars will continue.

The subconscious patterns of actions and thoughts picked since hundreds of thousands of years are not going to just fly away.

Yet, there is no shortage of intelligence. Most poor people are very street wise.

Yet I have never understood that nobody sees that they weigh themselves down with a family even before they have had a chance to make a standing for themselves. Why was this never obvious? TV and exposure to Movies etc does not seem to have taught them anything.

It is the intention which is lacking - they want the kids - more hands to work/labour for old age support.

Something that was valid till WW2 times.

Since then the population has trebled. It is impossible to save the children from the fate they have been brought into. The means are lacking, the numbers are great and the mindsets of the parents are a big block.

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Astrology, fate and & future.

Astrology at one end and Seers at the other; Is this where our lives lie?

We are eager to believe the astrologers who, they say, can predict our future because they know where the planets are taking us. The Seers know all the tricks and can guide and protect us from the vagaries of fate and destiny. All we need to do is to trust them deeply enough so that they can intervene.

How true and real is this? I would tend to think in the normal that between the two the clever play on the sentiments of people.

I mean logically this is possible but under the circumstances of the reigning influences in this world in general, it is definitely not.

Why? The first problem is the person. A human today is a conglomeration of many beings and forces that act through him and use him as a vessel and give him his persona. The human persona is made up of his body, emotional being and mental being. Then there are the 81

minor beings like lust, anger, compassion, that also are in play. There are also hidden players like the subconscious that is really most highly in control. The chain is something like this: subconscious-automatic mind in the body based on habits, mind based on education, conditioned mind based on memories, conscious thinking mind, will power to short circuit the process.

Unfortunately in the general populace the process goes straight from the subconscious mind to the executive mind and that is that.

Most people have no memories or make any conscious use of them in analysis of their thoughts & actions. Their reaction triggers are set and they just go on repeating themselves but are very vociferous in complaining or pretending that they are doing all they can to improve their lot. Fortunes and lives are spent in asking for help from soothsayers who oblige willingly.

The planets are definitely indicative of the forces in play in the earth’s consciousness at any given time and if we are not applying our filters of knowledge/memories/education with our will power, the course of action will 82

be as the flow dictated by the general universe in action.

Can we change our fate? Fate cannot be changed. The curriculum has been set. We can, yet speed up the process so that much of the continuous pain can be shortened and converted into a learning process of change.

The seers who have already gone this way can guide through their own experiences by sharing their learning but that is all they can do. The “tapasya� has to be one’s own effort.

Planets are not changing their position and by lighting lamps and incense and wearing rings, nothing will happen until sincerity, goodwill, aspiration and will are not applied by the person who wants to bring change in his own life. When we add consciously & willfully certain positively vibrating elements into our lives, like compassion, forgiveness and learning, then Destiny has to reprogram our curriculum and THEN alone things change.

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The complex world and we.

Most of us aren’t really that well in tune with the Cosmos. We are using largely a very tiny portion of our faculties in a huge world of great variety. The world is complex and most often there are influences at work that we do not understand, rarely even know about and we end up miscalculating our moves. In simple words we can say that we are buffeted by our simple desires and wishes and the problem is that so is everybody else. This results in clashes of wills and destinies.

Millions of people living together but alone individually.

The instrument we use to get along is the mind and I feel it could use more input than it usually has to circumnavigate this sea of Creation. The question begs to be asked as to how some of us are successful and content while most of us are in deep despair and disappointment although we may not show it; anyway, no one cares and we are wise enough to understand that our lives are not important to others unless we are of use or of some 84

immediate profit to them. Largely speaking much of the world is already organised and we can bumble along in it quite comfortably.

Society has been organised, laws of behaviour laid down, products and services designed and made for us – all that we need is some talent to earn a living and we can take care of most of our needs.

But the question is - Is that all? NO! We want so much more. Yet few seem to really make an effort to do so. And this is the crux of it all. Our wishes are not commensurate with our readiness and preparation. I can safely say that we have been educated and inculcated with a not-so-correct know-how of this world at large and we have been actually prepared for depression and stress and not the other way round.

To live in this world requires a kind of enlightenment too.

We need to learn and know well: - The human-made laws - The psychology of humanity - The education system 85

- Laws of physics, chemistry and biology at work - Logic behind gadgetry and applications - Know some carpentry, plumbing and electrical repairs.

- When to speak and when to lie low/silent.

- Naturopathy and how to maintain health - How others will & can hurt us.

- The policing system - The punishment system - The monetary system And as much more we can encompass.

When was the last time you did something for the first time?

Humans aim for comfort zones; not for learning or self-betterment.

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Subliminal Conditioning

The last century after the Great War, saw relatively a period of technical growth and a unified market at peace. So all countries could manufacture goods and sell in a larger market than had existed ever before. The wars had devastated large populations and there was great hunger for more. This is when with the reach now available to the media, also was growing thru unheard of mediums of travel by air, television and color photography and printing. There was a great jump in the people who could read and earn well. So there were buyers.

The marketers immediately saw the potential that was opening up. They centered and focused on sex but couched it in the word LOVE. This is how they made the people see things: to win over “love�, give gifts, and make yourself smart and presentable – this translated into gifts, clothes, cosmetics, dineouts picnics and all things needed to showoff. This would then result in marriages; which in turn gave rise to more sales for the 87

homes, and when the babies came along, it was bonanza for the sellers. It was an unending stream of buyers and a long list of desires waiting and begging to be satisfied.

Everyone had to have a car!

The aspirations grew but unfortunately most of us are not made for this competitive life to keep up with the Joneses. Envy, rancor became rampant. Individuality, independence & unrestrained freedom was aimed for and aloneness was wanted but at the same time so was “love� - a kind of living in a group without wanting to be part of it.

Imagine everyone living precariously on the edge of self-centeredness but depending on each other, knowing well that they need each other but not wanting to acknowledge this fact. A potent brew to bring pain in one’s life is as I see it.

The media & industry was becoming more and more refined with better and cheaper gadgetry and dreaming up more and more occasions for happiness. The reach was growing and the middle class was ecstatic with its possessions.

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They were being bombarded from all sides, specially the movies and the stars to adopt more classy styles of living. The trap was well laid and the whole world fell into it with a thud – never realizing that they had been subliminally manipulated into this state.

This gave rise to stresses, poorer health, broken dreams and disappointments and psychotic break-downs. We literally sold our souls and paid for it like we were giving out dowry for the pleasure.

This mess now demands clearing up.

As an exercise, it would be interesting to find out what were the highest aspirations or desires of a people in different Times in our history.

In 2015 it seems to be the owner of a good Smartphone.

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Learning is the gateway

Learning and an open, curious mind is what will bring us solutions to our situationships. “What can I do? It is my fate!� is the lament of the listless. There is nothing but inertia keeping us from solving our difficult situations. Effort and striving is written in our destiny.

The yet to evolve souls that have only recently got their lives in human forms show certain tendencies, you can call them character traits, in very pronounced forms; there is tendency of these people to be petty, egoistic, self-centeredly clever/cunning, loud and proud of their physical prowess. And a certain amount of sloth and inertia seems to keep them locked in their wells.

Their needs are simple. They want something; they should have it. Often they acquire things that they never use or respect. They like to boast, attract attention and rarely pay scant regard to the feelings of others; rather quite the opposite. These are, as we may safely 90

term, the difficult to tolerate ones. The focus on the physical show is very highly magnified.

There is one beautiful aspect though. They have a lot of strength and energy and if we can learn use to use their energy, they play a very supportive role.

When life puts them in situations where they have money and control they can make life for others miserable but often their desires give rise to many beautiful and grand projects and they even end up inventing new products and new a activities for excitement ( which may or not be good for you in the final analysis.)

Their thinking is simplicistic like: Beauty to them is all in the outward physical appearance, staying young means looking twenty; excitement means speed and physical pleasures and all, activities that bring into focus their senses and involves their nerves.

Psychologically, they can think and feel only form their personal point of view: if they like something – others will surely appreciate too, if they desire something – others must surely see the importance. They expect to be 91

praised and their attitude in life is: Look at me and see how praiseworthy I am. They go to great trouble to be seen as different and better to the point that they are shunned by the more tolerant types. It is impossible to make them see any other point of view and these are the people in a quarrel who will not go for a compromise. Their views are clear cut – either you are their friend or the enemy.

If they can’t love you, they will hate you.

They can be very childish and churlish; - very kind when it is in their interest - they even become sugary, buttery & spicy but beware; their memories are short and their responses can change overnight.

In action this shows in many irritating forms: Like they have no patience, are pushy and they can live like nobody else exists.

Whatever you do, don’t try to change them and lock horns over matters of decency, discipline and self-control. Talking to them of generosity in thoughts will only get you a guffaw.

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Tricky Humans

Humans are very good at tricking themselves into believing that they have a lot of grandiose qualities & about themselves in general. Specially when the mind is full of great words that touch our spirit and we then easily see ourselves having become that.

Those that have had the opportunity to be somewhat independent and living isolated lives, are the worst affected.

Since the beginning of time, individuals who began to see further than the masses, would be so disappointed with the general inertia, ignorance of the masses that they would isolate themselves and immerse themselves in study and contemplation to improve their selves. Very commendable I would say but the subconscious rarely gets touched.

Another way of saying it would be that the habits and the basic nature remain unchanged. It also gives the person a kind of arrogance of being better and grander than they really are. But all the little things that make us human animals like anger, lust, and 93

tiny defects like jumping to conclusions, being irritated when baulked or misunderstood, getting depressed, sulking, or looking for thrills etc still are deeply operative. This they realise only when they come out of their caves and meet the world and the tiresome circumstances of this earthly life.

The tragedy is that these people in their superiority complex do a lot of harm to others around them or in spiritual language we can say that the people in their inertia and arrogance invite on themselves the ire of these superior people.

Money power and sex power are the controlling factors of today and getting trapped into this vortex is practically ensured by circumstances. Successes as understood by humans then goes to one’s head and makes us live in a world born of our imagination. That is why it has always been advised, that we should surround ourselves with really true friends who help us see ourselves as we are rather than what we imagine ourselves to be.

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This is how the world moves and behaves.

Until we have learnt to stop, contemplate, analyse each and every little impulse birthing within us, we have not moved much farther on the path of self-improvement. This is tough but eventually emancipation comes only when we start practising it.

How to recognise what could be happening within us?

I learnt a lot from good writers and movies.

By seeing the stories being rolled out in front of me, it gave me the perspective needed. In similar situations in my own life I could then see the story repeating itself and recognise the elements at work.

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Obfuscating issues

Selfishness alone is not enough to warrant disdain. We are all selfish. But yes, when selfishness gets coupled with abuse then no one ever forgives.

And what constitutes abuse? How do we recognise it?

1) Personal attacks: We attack the person verbally or physically. This happens most often when the needle of accusation is pointing at us. The idea is to ward it off by focussing immediately on some real or imagined fault of the other.

2) By arguing: Convert the situation into an argument and putting the other into a position of defending his situation. It is like a game. Keep on making stupid accusations and the whole argument takes on the image of a duel. The first to lose temper is taken to the cleaners.

3) By deliberate misuse and misunderstanding of words. Language provides much scope of play thru the literal and figurative meanings 96

of words. These are brought into play in the conversation. This creates a tangled mess and obfuscates the issue.

A lot of people do it as a matter of habit.

They are really not looking for answers. Learn how every other person does it and then avoid getting into the trap the next time.

All the above three are used all the time by everybody. We soon learn that there are no winning sides; only recognition of how the mind of the other works, how they will respond and what to expect of them in relationships.

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Are you ready?

A survey conducted by the Times of India new-paper showed that a majority of the young generation change jobs every month citing "poor job satisfaction" as the main reason.

Now why would this be so? Is it the job or the employee? Then there is also the question if they are suited to be in that job or not. Most of our younger people have very limited social skills and even less of the entrepreneurial understanding of the business environment.

Can we fault them? No. Their bringing-up and education was in the hands of their parents and if anyone it is the parents who are responsible. But this is neither here nor there. Now that they are grown up, in need to make something of their lives, what do they do?

And I can say quite safely, from what I have seen in all the different countries I have travelled, the problem exists everywhere.

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Till the time they get into their first jobs, the interactions of the general populace are limited to their large families and the limited social possibilities in that circle. They speak a language that is peculiar to that circle. They may have acquired a few Diplomas but no real skill to move about in the larger impersonal circle of the business world.

The difference between the cultures of different communities and educational backgrounds now takes an importance that was never thought of earlier. They show a personality that is glaringly not in tune with others, specially the more and often educated class that is in the managing seat.

These youngsters find themselves not accorded the recognition they were expecting and were lead to believe by their parents/families they will get. When you are raised as the “Apple-of-my eyes� but no guidance as to the vagaries of the human condition, what can one expect?

Soon they realise that they are not equipped for the world they have entered and a complex psychological screen gets created behind which they try to hide their complexes 99

which may be inferior but the egos are not.

Few take the trouble of learning about and working on this aspect and retrain themselves to join their peers. They go for the superficialities of clothes and mannerisms that they see. A certain amount of aping is seen. But most of what we see is bravado, a cover-up by show of designer clothes and loud posturing – which unfortunately hides nothing and only makes the limitations obvious. Quite a lot of people fall into the trap of submissive yes-men. There is a tendency to use these techniques which is seen in very poor taste and self-defeating because it is actually a put-off.

The unfortunate part is that often even moderately successful people also fall into this syndrome. Particularly those of the middle class background who by dint of education and luck end up in managerial positions but lack the EQ for that environment.

The secret of making a good income successfully in this material/commercial world depends on how you are able to align your needs and services with those who need 100

it. As Dale Carnegie said, find out what they want and give it to them. It is simple and clear that the upper class or those with cash to spare are the ones you need to touch. But the question is how? First we need to understand how and what they think. Second we need to make them feel comfortable with us; once they are convinced that we are understanding of their needs, fit well in their company or life-style and can be trusted to deliver, they will come forward.

This is why the need to learn about other cultures, communities and social classes becomes important. Cleverness and cunning is not enough. We need to upgrade our personas to the levels of others with whom we wish to enjoin.

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Exuberance

I am told it is a good thing. Children are full of it and what I have heard from other adults, it is a most tiresome trait. To my mind it is a trait that is also the precursor of creativity but that is when it is channelled into a properly planned activity or project.

In adults it shows up mostly as exaggeration this is what I feel anyway; specially the trend that I have noticed in not-so-traineddisciplined minds in India. Everything is said with aplomb & even figures are wildly augmented to sound the most dramatic.

Rumours are started with conviction and exaggerated as they go on. In other manifestations, it shows as accusations quite unnerving - leaving you to contradict, defend and explain yourself. This is a good technique to keep you fighting for your life; while they enjoy the supreme bliss of righteousness. Religious leaders and advertising use this technique to good advantage.

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This keeps everyone busy, engaged in heated, serious conversations, hurting relationships and avoiding the real issues.

It is so ingrained that their entire lives roll out in intense debates of things that are not.

Justifying their own faults and daring you to contradict them. It is so emotionally tiring and purposeless in pragmatic terms. When this tendency becomes an interfering issue in work relationships, it becomes a serious problem. In marriages it can lead to separation.

Later when in the last days of life, depression sets in with the obvious made clear by fate, we blame God, Kismet,

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The need for Therapy.

The word Therapy implies that something is out of order. That something in the human persona needs to be put right vis-Ă -vis the pragmatic realities of life. It presupposes that the person in front of us is in a state of disturbance and that assistance to recreate a balance and equilibrium is required. Yes; this is quite what happens. Life is a distinctly awful mix of love, kindness, sacrifice at one end and dislike, jealousy and disdain at the other.

Often for no reason other than selfish interest it gets even worse - Dislike turns to hate and venomous thoughts and actions take shape.

These thoughts then try to manifest and every action of ours get influenced by them.

Opportunities in life are difficult to come by and when we do not know what to do, despair takes over. But then I am not here to discuss basic psychology. The point is that these elements enter the life of a person from the day he is born. In many traditions, it is believed and even science today is now 104

accepting it that the influences begin even before birth.

It is this push and pull of society and the way the world is running that creates dissonance in individuals who have either not been brought up properly or educated properly or readied for the life ahead properly. We can’t blame anybody but we must yet try and understand the factors at play. Therapy can help by mainly being a good listener and imparting and sharing of knowledge of the world so that the disturbed person can reorient himself and find the supportive pole to support his life.

All that a desperate intellect is looking for is answer to tough questions. The healer can help by listening after ascertaining their sincerity or comment on pragmatic matters and let it be.

The job of thinkers is to make people think, especially for their selves - for their betterment – but it should stop there.

Taking the role of a therapist is a big responsibility. You may end up supporting more than you had bargained for.

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When the mind gets too focused on one goal to the exclusion of all else, there is a tightening which results in knots in the mind that become habits in the long run. This creates a pattern of thinking and action that is self-defeating with the individual not even aware of it + past memories create a lot of logjam. We need to break away from them.

Let the past recede far enough so that new impressions can make a home in our personalities.

We cannot always change our patterns but by changing some of our activities we can create new paths in our brain’s way of handling things. Any creative activity will do. Even depression can be reined in. Left to themselves, most humans would go on masturbating with their own morbid thoughts.

So they have to be weaned away. The ego of a person will resist so the job has to be done gently. Landscapes with pleasant forms and all elemental natural ingredients in it are just the thing to help deflect, reflect & reset our orientation of thoughts.

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The Psychology of the situation.

The new life-styles that we are now sporting by the use of technical advancements has isolated our physical dependence on each other and as there is really no need to be there in person to communicate or create or work on a project, we now live bubble lives.

The interchange of vital energies that occurs in personal face to face contact is now missing and we now live totally within our own vibes, whatever they are, without stress but also without any refreshing changes entering our atmosphere. There is a certain amount of morbid build-up. We are surrounded in major part by our own prepondent tendencies. This creates a vortex of self-indulgent vibes and pockets in our lives that can be not only limiting but also depressing and fatiguing to the Spirit.

It may be the information age but nobody is reading or bothering to inform oneself. Selfimprovement although professed is the last thing on anybody’s mind. Perseverance is weakening and tempers shortening. It is a sad 107

age. There is much to read, easily available but lesser numbers of people are actually bothering to make the effort to read – they are happy with the pictures and a few headlines and it is so much easier to lap up the ready-made concepts being dished out by the media. It is as if their growth has come to a stop and they are not interested in growing up further. It is so easy to fill-up the 24 hours.

Well I am not here to change your world or even advising anything on those lines.

Changes bring upheavals and that is definitely not practical or pragmatic or actually desired under these terms. Rather daunting and very scary.

But yes, with little effort on the personal level, the vibes can be changed to reflect more positivity and openness – without diluting the personal content of our gogetting plans. My prescription: 1)

A good friend to talk to

2) A good hobby like painting in oil. Or physical activity that requires focus; such as table tennis or badminton.

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Anxiety

How things will turn out at any given time is a big question mark and anxiety attacks are common. When hopes do not go to fruition as expected, there is depression in its wake.

Society t is not making things easy. The lack of humane feelings in today's professional attitudes is so unbelievable. We work with machines and have started to behave machine-like. We are impersonal and without generosity. And I am not talking of any specific people. Take anyone - a little power over you or your affairs and they misuse it to the full by leading you the honey-trap path.

Every error is capitalised upon. A little error and they take you to the cleaners. Take bankers, lawyers, policemen, doctors even the clerks in the municipal offices. Every fault or small situation is taken with absolute seriousness and the problem is magnified to its full potential. You end up paying to get out of the predicament which with some kindness and humaneness could have been overlooked with a warning. It is demonic when the 109

medical, military, policing people do it for gain as they are Gods to us and we go to them in trust, yet they play with our health, life and well-being fully knowing the horror that they are inflicting on us. Marriages too are not immune to this effect. But they take refuge in laws, rules and procedures. And we have no protection against this. What gives these people such stone-hard hearts?

We are quite really to blame for the spots we get into. To be happy not much is required.

But then our desires never stop sprouting. If only we would focus more on the wishes that have been fulfilled and aspire for more but without agitation. With desire we permit our wishes to predominate our thinking. The healing practices and the policing style of a people give their characters away. In India today if we take this as a guideline, then we would seem to be - unfair, self-profiting, callous, cheats and at the same time kind and helpful but not able to work together.

From the trainer’s point of view, I have seen all training remain a superficial activity as the base nature finally predominates.

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Compare and contradict

Our greatest efforts go into contradicting.

Nothing particular is aimed at. Simply we find it difficult to accept that anyone else be seen in a better light than us. The serpent of envy pops up instantly from its corner. The lower the Emotional quotient and intellectual broadening of the mind, the greater is the effort to first contradict and think later. Why does our envy raise its head whenever we find somebody else saying something worth appreciating? Or doing something so well that it is praise all around? And admittedly better than us!

It is so sad to see people being childishly churlish by looking for faults, errors and even countering with exaggerated personal comments to somehow show another in poor light. I have seen often that comments bubble up in the listener/reader even before the other person has finished saying or whatever he is saying has even registered.

A good game that these people play is by picking on a word or phrase and then going at 111

tangent in a totally unconnected stream and thereby confusing the issue intentionally; putting the other guy in a position to explain and defend his point. How does one deal with this? - By not falling into the trap of argument. Just keep your peace and respond with silence or/and a smile, this puts them off no end. Leave them to their devices.

One of the commonest methods to change tracks to bring the subject around to one’s way of thinking is by starting the question with “Do you mean to say...”. My reply is curt and short: No I don’t.

And if it is bosses, just make sure by documentary or other evidence that you made your point and that you are not responsible for the decisions. In personal relations I often reply with – “I have said what I had to say. You can make whatever you want of it” and in other places like with my wife, I do not even try to make a suggestion…… until absolutely crucially necessary.

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Growing up

Growing up is a process few are aware of.

Most of us connect growing up with the wrinkles on our faces and the shape of our figure. Little or no effort is put into the growth of the persona and learning to go beyond one’s own self. Rather all the effort is put in NOT growing up. One wants to remain at a perpetual age level when people acclaimed us, even pursued us.

It is my observation that life can be divided into 3 phases of 22-24 years. In the first we become somebody. In the second we establish ourselves and usually do well. In the third we are overwhelmed by Time as we see IT slipping out of our hands. It is at this moment we silently become aware that in the second phase we were so busy enjoying life that we did not upgrade with the passage of time and now we are out of place somewhat.

The effort to stop ageing is the focal point which then becomes such a childish pursuit.

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One technique people use to keep others on tenterhooks and guessing is by carrying "Resentment" as a crown?

They give the impression that there is no way that the world can ever please them. The commas and semi-colons are always out of place. Their need to put things to right is perennial. They feel superior and even sad by the world’s need imposed on them to keep things in order. The impression they give is that it is their forced duty to be harsh on the world - not that they enjoy it.

But if you ask me they enjoy it supremely.

And they maintain this facade because it is so satisfying to see others grovel to keep them in good humour.

My personal observation is that eventually these people lose the most as they end up alienating everybody and as they advance in years, the need for support increases and the opposite starts happening around them.

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The lucky ones

Some people are really lucky. They have limited needs, simple minds and they don’t suffer with vivid imaginations to bother them with fear and possibilities – good and bad.

They always have more than they need and they are quite happy to be left alone to their devices. Their good luck gives them a good job in which they excel because they have no ulterior motives and not much ambition either to compete. Or life provides them in other ways.

It is a life that is full with preoccupations of making the bed and washing the clothes.

This is the reason why their personal relations are at a minimum and they would rather not have people in their lives; yet they are intelligent enough to know that they need others but it is an ongoing battle with their personal world and the world at large.

It is sad to see these people because they allow themselves to be trapped in a limited world in which there is no entry for strangers.

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They have no need to improve on anything in this particular personalised world and least of all themselves. It is a lovely comfortable life in which they are content, happy at rearranging furniture instead of worrying about interior design and the next castle they will own.

I have met many of these kinds – even have had to live with them. The first thing I noticed was their ability to ignore all inputs from the world at large. They would simply ignore; this tendency also affecting how they dealt with their health. They refuse to listen to their bodies and tend to permit illness to fester to a point of pain before acting on it; which a conscious person would agree is already too late.

They suffer for it but do not wish to see the connection that their illness may have with their attitude. It is a blissful life until the avalanche hits them –and I have seen this happens in older age when the body can’t take the abuse any more. At this point they fall into depressions or suffer from rages which alienate them even more from the world of friends and well wishers and 116

unfortunately also from their own little world that they have created so arduously.

These people have such strong minds that some of us simpletons would be awed. They are good at making accusations, weaving logic with their wishes so elegantly that virtually everyone feels left out as the more worldly types see existence from other angles. The result is that you either listen to them or shut up. They can argue on till kingdom come. You have to finally give up in exasperation.

Suggestions in their world become criticisms and even a hint of it can be the start of a “reaction�. My way has been to leave them alone, go along with them if I have to but emotionally, mentally, if not physically, keep a distance. Something that they enforce literally anyway; yet deep somewhere these souls are lonely and they so wish to be admired and be friends with the world; it is like a sad movie that you can see but not get involved.

The torment is real. They want to be accepted as they are but life unfortunately is as unforgiving as they are.

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On being un-friended.

Our friends are part of our pride-support system. It is not as much the friendship as our vanity that makes it valuable. The glow that we feel in knowing that we are considered great enough to be remembered and searched for is what makes this life so worth living. So of course being un-friended even on a platform like Facebook hurts. All of us can remember misunderstandings and silly quarrels that became permanent because they mattered then and there was so much intensity in the feelings that we never got back to patch it again; although with hindsight we regretted it.

I have wondered what is so terrible on being un-friended and how does it matter? People come and go out of our lives. The act of jumping to conclusions and parting in a huff is so normal without giving the other a chance to explain. We can only continue on with our lives - that is unless our egos are so hurt that it continues to rankle!

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My personal view is that it should be taken as a relief - it saves us from tiring interactions.

And let new friends better selected on the new maturity levels that we have reached, come into our lives.

This is where the philosophy tends to go amiss. It may be good philosophy but not good psychology to say this. Change is what people are afraid of. This is exactly what they don’t want.

The arduous exercise to make new friends is not a comfortable thought or feeling. Then it is also a fact that in older ages we make lesser friends and less easily – the contacts get so reduced anyway. And bringing newness in our personas is the most difficult part. New friends also mean new interests. Curiosity is the ingredient here. When this is not there, it can only be a painful episode that most would rather avoid and maintain status quos even if some lies have to be lived with.

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Expanded living.

Don’t compromise with smallness A little thought on this topic will reveal that we live a life of reduction. As we grow in years, we start reducing our movements, friends, possibilities and the actual surrounding space in active use. Something that can be called compacted living. We even compromise with dirt and smartness.

Live totally otherwise. Expand yourself in terms of physical usage of space, time & thought. Espouse the uncomfortable. Have the courage to experiment with something new. Keep learning.

For example: when creating a corner for yourself, give it the max space, size you can afford. Think big. Use the largest table you can find. When inviting friends over, invite the maximum number you can comfortably.

When you give something a gift, give the best you can. When you are eating out in public, go to the most comfortable and satisfying place.

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Don’t compromise: never with your sense of size, space and standard. Want and expect the best and the Universe will be compelled to organize it for you.

Keep your surroundings in perfect alignment to your spiritual thinking within you. This is where the enigma begins. Life as a teacher will always throw spanners against your plans and principles. You must learn fast and change tack but not your standard of thinking. As an example if you are a kind hearted person, then don’t let this faculty be covered up by bitterness. And if you are the sulking type, learn that this does not get you anywhere but into deeper depressions and alienation.

Your space should be clean and every object given a proper place and kept that way. There are many things we easily allow to slip into misuse, disuse and neglect. But we do not remove them from our surroundings; such as spoilt pictures, not working clocks, torn clothes, empty containers, old medicines and what-not. Take time out to paint, refresh and maintain your surroundings and possessions.

Keep them in trim and glowing; no peeling 121

walls and drab furniture. This is as much a yogic practice as anything else.

Persona wise, check on yourself, how easily you make friends, how well you think of them, how miserly you can be and how generous you really are. Can you tolerate the stupidities around you or do you end up with a migraine? Are you comfortable in crowds or discotheques or would you prefer the silence of the stars and the expanded view of the sea?

Of course with age the energy you have at your disposal reduces and the time and effort becomes a premium product. This is easily countered by reducing your possessions, but never reducing your space.

Keep your consciousness in an expanded mode but live in silence more. Observe and enjoy but don’t necessarily engage in time and energy consuming activities. Ask for space from the Universe because in your heart you are ready to become as big.

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Living in Integrated Harmony.

We have dreams and often many goals that have as yet not concretized in our minds; what is floating at the back of our minds is a vague “wish”.

Goals are achieved by people of “Power Personas”. They go towards their goals like well directed arrows. For the arrow to fly it has to be solid and straight. Nothing wishywashy about it will do.

The seat of our power is our own projection of our self. What image are the others seeing?

Do you call yourself an "individual"? Do you feel bad or elated with the weather? Moods control you? Are you easy to be persuaded?

Do you go along with groups & others?

Are you affected by the sentimentalism in a movie?

Does the decor change your mood?

Do you jump to conclusions?

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WE have to move together with others. So what others see you as becomes doubly important. Let me make you think a bit: which of these qualifications would fit some people you know?

-

Always ready for something new.

-

Always searching for newer ways.

-

Can be trusted to deliver

A congenital fault-finder - denigrating attitude -

Always pessimistic and non-trusting

-

Never does what he says.

So give serious thought to what others perceive you as. Not to become what they want us to be but only as feedback.

We often have a very erroneous view of our selves. Do we have the courage to really see our self the way others do?

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But until we do so, our persona will not become one of power. This is the focus on which we should concentrate and integrate our being to reap the success we are looking for.

The entire enigma of existence is hidden behind the fact that every individual is totally certain that he has “seen” the world, knows all there is to really know and is perfectly attuned to understanding each and every other person and phenomena. If only the world would listen to them and follow their lead.

The next step is of course to know if what we have is worth sharing. And I mean sharing, not repeating. So I repeat the question: How much of an individual are we?

When it comes to "cliché" behaviour, have you observed how systematized some people can be? Why has our culture remained stagnant?

Because we are not ready to part or come out of the accepted comfort zone - we have imposed upon us a fixed "syllabi" of life and not prepared to look further.

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When it comes to “quoting” we have no equal. We so easily equate ourselves with the quotes and get lost in a very illusionary persona.

It is neither easy nor simple to have a hard look at one self. This is what life is all about.

We start with a list of presumptions. Recheck your list of presumptions in your life otherwise the hard knocks of life will show them to you the hard way; wisdom lies in preempting life and learning to integrate your persona with Reality right away, the soft way by desiring it “now”.

Provoking thought and reflection is what I think our words should do. * Life is not a simple matter of making tea: Adding tea leaves to hot water!

Life is more like modern ice cream; a product of technology. It tastes good, looks correct, smells right, and feels nice, lasts perfectly long enough but it is a chemically processed product.

Nothing there is "Sincere". There is reality but no truth in its composition.

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Stupidity as teacher

They have not studied the subject, they don’t know it for a fact but they are always interfering, misguiding and confusing issues.

If it is taken as a spiritual experience, these self-centred people are goading us to seek balance. As an irritant and sowers of discord they will disappear only when humanity has grown up into anti-selfishness.

I have felt because in the Indian scenario the development of mind and will + discipline has never been stressed, these people are being used by the Gods of Stupidity to create stressful situations which in the long run are amusement for the Gods and lessons for humans.

We are so programmed to think in a fixed pattern that we do not realise the different stages of relationships and behaviour patterns that happens between all relationships, specially - the baby and parents. The baby grows but the parents don't always grow with it. There is always possessiveness, selfish127

ends involved in all the decisions that parents take for their children.

Few adults are able to detach themselves from the ownership angle vis-a-vis their children or the use of emotional blackmail towards their own profit.

People use all kinds of stratagems to interfere in the life of others for personal profit & gain thereby creating irritations and untoward incidents. Often just the need to be clever or taking clever short-cuts or not following certain general rules is enough to create serious accidents and occasions for regret.

The permutations and combinations for mischief are immense and new occasions are rising up every second in everyone’s lives.

We are all growing all the time and our relationships and equations have to change and do change. That is why people come and go in our lives. The need to re-establish our lives all over again every now and again is a reality. But who wants change? Especially when the old pattern is so profitable!

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The image we maintain for the world at large and the life we lead in reality are always two very different things.

The moment you restrict yourself by needs of society or any other reason like following a philosophy or set of morals or religious precepts, you are projecting something other than your real self. Whatever it happens to be today. By the expression "your real self" it is to be understood your instinctive, intuitive nature and actions whatever they are.

Philosophers will immediately retort about the Soul and our true nature of God and all that. Let's not get derailed with this nonsense.

People first build strong, impenetrable mental walls around them made of “conditions, rules, appropriate behaviour and habits�, and then pride themselves on their exclusive problems as the world does not fit into it.

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Our castle is ready

We are born with laughter in our life. We feel so light and content with the world we are in.

We grow up with great hopes & light in our eyes.

These hopes than turn into great dreams and we are so certain there would never be anything in our way to stop our dreams materializing. Our desires get intermingled with these dreams and pride joins hands.

These dreams take hold of our existence.

The world is so wonderful. It invites you to go forth and meander; plant the trees and design the garden.

So with great hopes and certainty in our infallibility we go ahead to build our castle.

We are so intent on building our castle that we forget others who are there with us and the world around us in which we are laying our foundations. We do end up building our castle and then soon realize that we have also locked ourselves in.

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After looking around for the past 60 years, I see only one thing: that we are all living with a “self-destruct button” in our hands.

Life can flourish when we water it with care and compassion but observe around – we fill it more with self-indulgence, prejudice and segmentation. Our need to be seen as king is more important than be accepted as a person.

We let lose our anger, disdain and biting words and then wonder why this world is such a malefic & un-loving place. We start seeing the effects of our errors soon enough in life but arrogantly ignore the signs and signals because in the small realm in which we are growing as princes, we see no need.

I wish this truth had been taught to us early so that we could have created a city for all of us, rather than just a castle for ME. This body that we call “I” will also be reclaimed back by Mother Earth. So let’s build the castle together for togetherness but with a mind to leave it behind for others.

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YOGIC SECRETS OF MATERIAL SUCCESS

Wealth is an acquired thing. It can be in any domain or level of consciousness –be it Material or Spiritual. The secrets to acquire wealth are the same.

The first secret is in the word “Precision”.

Whatever you desire needs to be precisely pictured in your mind. Most of us tend to be rather vague in our “wantings”. For our own part we have no clear picture of the path and goal we are going to take. There is a heavy dose of wishful thinking in our plans.

Then we waver and depend on luck (or call it fate) to provide the possibilities and opportunities.

This will not do.

The second secret is in the word “Picturisation”.

Paint a picture in your mind of what you want. Fill in the details. When you want a car, 132

decide which model and colour and even plan out where you are going to park it. The picture should be very precise. Then the Universe will know what it has to do to organize to make it happen for you.

The third secret is “Input”.

What exactly are you going to put in from your side?

There are principles and morals + fears that we have imbibed. Are they in tune with the objective?

Our study is it complete and do we have knowledge for the task on hand? How well do we understand what we are getting into?

The fourth secret is “Communication” Is your language precise enough and are you good at putting your mind picture into words accurately? When you speak is your pronunciation/enunciation and the use of words clear, are they based on the universally 133

accepted norms; are you sure the other person has clearly heard and understood you?

The need for clear and correct interpersonal understanding is normally not valued by people. We assume that we are doing a good job but more often than not we end up misunderstanding more than the other way round and very often we understand not at all but out of politeness do not mention it.

The fifth secret is “Attitude�

Do you go looking for solutions? Most of us are experts at rationalizing and carpeting things over. We prefer explaining and complaining and that way prove to ourselves that it is all beyond our control or not fault of ours. Once we have adopted this attitude, we can blame others squarely and continue to go merrily on our way. This is hardly the way to success.

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What is and ought to be

The relationship game. As long as we continue to see this as a male and female thing we shall neither understand nor improve. The point is this is just a manifestation of certain Universal forces at work since the beginning of time. We are instruments and pawns in the game and hopefully evolving slowly. Nature, Human or otherwise, The Spirit and things like egos-selflessness, vindictivenessforgiveness, love-hate and regard-disdain etc are all floating around and in action wherever they find cause and recipients. This is the pot I am always stirring.

Arguments are fun for people who like arguments. I prefer to say what I want to say and let the other say his piece. And we stop there. No need to convince the other about it. Questions are welcome for the sake of clarification if so desired. But why argue? You take it or reject it. And sarcasm to make your point is a no-no.

See beyond the apparent. Our ideas of what should be are definitely the goal but then 135

that does not mean things are that way. First let us see this clinically and then we try to make things better. But the need is to first impartially see things as they are and not as we wish them nor in the image we feel comfortable.

We cannot allow ourselves to get trapped in arguments of good and bad, correct or otherwise. There is really nothing as such.

Everything is and all things are around because there is place for it on earth. Learn about the Forces at play and learn to deal with them - our work is to rise above them and protect ourselves and any others we can from the wrong movements - if we can.

Independence is just a word. We are all slaves in some way or other.

There is psychology and then there are moral principles. Objectivity is needed when we study these two subjects. What is and what ought to be are two different things.

Only when the ego gets individualised through a more informed mind that the problem of me & mine arises so much so that 136

Independence and Freedom become sore points.

The world at large is not affected by this illness. Those that are will need to go beyond the mind to find peace and contentment.

Most people just accept their fate and bumble along. Grateful for the small mercies.

Most of the world's populace has no idea what thoughts exist outside their little lives. They accept what they are born into. Because their thoughts do not trouble them, they seek not further.

They may be in a state of discomfort & displeasure but do not see anything horrific.

They have no idea that anything else exists.

The arrogance of the modern mind insists that “I will decide�; everything that comes to me or that goes from me – I will decide.

Unfortunately life does not roll-out this way.

Whatever your laws, constitution, sages and religions say, there is a give and take and we 137

have no control over the over-all circumstances. Stronger physical forces have an advantage and they are being constantly used/misused. The intelligent amongst us are able to negotiate a better offer. But that is all.

The women have no right of self determination and are sexual slaves. Are they?

Women have never bothered much how many wives a man has, nor bothered much about a little sexual exploitation. As long as they are provided for and given proper care, they are quite prepared to overlook other things.

Safety and security is first on their minds since ages this has been the first need.

Monogamy started long before the humans (even in Apes) because it was required to protect the children. Without family there is no continuation. There are pros and cons to all possibilities in relationships.

So everything has a place and let us be understanding about it.

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It is also true that men need to sow more than one seed. And all women are not available physiologically all the time, so the necessity to have more than one around. It is actually good for the women. It gives them respite from too much attention Running away from unpleasant situations or relationships is not that easy. And not always the answer.

There are laws, necessities, obligations, lack of options -all have to be considered and most of the time the need for an income traps you in a situation. Then there is laziness and wishful thinking to add to the cauldron.

Hoping against hope is the worst.

Nothing is going to happen until your spirit wakes up, comes to the fore and takes life by the horns - with all the faculties involved -which means -the thinking brain, the intuitive brain while the body drops all laziness and the heart distances itself from selfishness.

This is one tall order and most humans would rather go into slavery to the nearest Caliph than make any effort.

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48)

from my book: The Fakir's Travels

the book is published by Les Editions de Net.

* What if I say that when you choose the path of self awareness, it only gets worse and worse, until you pop out on the other side!?

It is quite like a sliver that pops out when it is ready.

* I hear a lot about equality. Today I heard two young ladies say that the Constitution guarantees them rights to think and be as they wish.

How ridiculous.

It is Human Nature and Mother Nature that are running this world. The Constitution only makes laws.

Unfortunately, to accept the fact that all humans are evolved enough to be superior to

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their instincts and will abide by these laws is also an even more ridiculous error.

* We are equal and equally endowed�. This tune is what has brought discordance in human affairs.

It is a tragedy of human intelligence that just having the "appearance" of human looking animal is considered enough to be accepted as equal legally. As if our persona is limited to physical form. So the moron and the genius are equated and of course it is like mixing black and white to obtain an indeterminate which is neither here nor there.

* As it is, leave someone in the park alone (of course without any gadget in hand to connect with) for 5 minutes and they start going bonkers.

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* The Silent Moment as Therapy. Find time out to connect with the other world which is made of silent communications. Please shut off sound, focus on some thoughts/words that inspire you and help you pass thru the door to the realm of your intimate self.

* The “Passions� and its world have so many pleasures to entice us and keep us bound. It is easy to get lost in the playground and collapse from excesses. May Krishna free us from this imprisonment of the self by our own self! Let us not forget: We are all free but do not want to be.

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49)

The Semblance of Correctness

How serious are we?

The seriousness with which we take life or have to survive it while it matters nought to the Creator as things flow for HIM quite well as it is working out since the beginning of time. Our thoughts and perceptions are always based on education and personal perspectives. The big joke is the one the Great One is playing on us.

We have woven such a net of masking manoeuvres to hide our intense subconscious real wishes & desires that most of our life is a continuous string of supportive acts that is wholly, fully false. Certain precepts are accepted (for example: that humans always say what they mean even when we know absolutely well that they rarely do and witnesses in court do not lie or have seen things accurately) and if this is pointed out, people will bristle and indignation will rear its head.

The entire fabric of our society is based on false assumptions about the nature of human character. It is nice that we think well and 143

perhaps even mean well but I think the guiding force just now in the world is more selfishness with total disregard of the world at large and pride. We are ready to crush others in our interest if anyone dares to point it out or worse prove it. Neither of which we shall ever agree to.

We believe life is sacred but we invented the hangman's noose, the guillotine, the electric chair and other beautiful and fantastic gadgets of mass murder. With what glee we chop off heads and poke knives in the ribs!

We go to insane wars on unbelievable pretexts. It is a sham and a joke but we are not allowed to laugh.

We choose not to learn. It is so much easier on the ego and the fabric of life we have built around us. We always have enough humour to laugh at ourselves but yet do not accept that our escapades are our fault.

We see our ability to laugh as part of our grand acceptance of life as it is. Yet when the finely laid-out, so charmingly choreographed 144

little dramas end in regrettable episodes, we always know that it is the lack of understanding and diligence of some “other� that made it so. The opportunity to learn and improve upon is not only ignored, it is vehemently pushed away.

Who are we to make them see the light or take a certain path?

Contact me at gururdeva@yahoo.com or Facebook: Pradeep PK Maheshwari Contact: phone: +91-11-41730043, Skype: pradeepmahesh

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