Apple's Math Portfolio!

Apple's Notebook

I think my strongest point that helped me (barely) get through this quarter is my ability to puyat and cram my mindset. This quarter honestly felt the slowest of this school year. Truly, gumagapang nalang. Each day came and went, and although I know that logically, there are always 24 hours in a day, some days felt longer than most, while others went by too quickly.

This quarter, the overwhelming feeling of burnout and just the overall encompassing thought of "pagod na ako" was almost too much to handle.

I largely attribute this to the health break we had at the start of the quarter. The rapidly rising cases was a huge setback not only to the community, but to the entire country. Many of my friends and family were getting sick. In fact, I myself spent 21 days in quarantine at the start of the new year. The whole experience just left me very unmotivated, and quite frankly, disinterested.

Coming back from the two week break, it was hard to get my rhythm back.

I honestly cannot say for certain that I have gotten that groove back.

What really got me through this quarter was thinking “ok goal is: just get through today”. I believe that my mindset of taking one day at a time, one problem at a time, was essential in my surviving this quarter. Especially with the overwhelming wave of responsibilities that seemed to be endless, I am sure that my ability to compartmentalize and pick my battles was a huge

factor in how I managed to get through this quarter not necessarily alive, but at least breathing.

There is a quote from Saint Ignatius, in which he says "Go forth and set the world on fire". This is often used during leadership camps and seminars, urging leaders to go out into the world and forge their own path, but I also personally like to interpret it as going after what makes us happy. Because for as long we keep the fire in our souls burning, we will be okay.

For me, I have learned to crochet, which is one of my current favorite ways to pass the time. I've also fallen in love again with reading and allowing myself to just sit and do nothing inherently productive. To have hobbies, and to do things that we love, is ultimately what will save us from ourselves Burnout, I feel is a side effect of the covid pandemic that is recognized, but not necessarily talked about. Sure, we hear the term a lot, but not necessarily in a space where we can talk about its causes and what we can do to counteract it (unless, of course you’re in guidance class). As such, I think that we should all just remember to take a deep breath and face our problems, one day at a time.

One quality that I believe I should improve is my patience. I’ve always been the type that thinks “if you want something done right, do it yourself”, which is why I love choose-your-own-groupmates groups; these are people that I trust are competent and compatible with me enough that we can give a great output. Of course, I know that the world does not work this way: we often do not get to pick and choose who we work with, nor do we get a say in how things turn out, the best we can do is to accept the way things are given to us and accomplish the task in spite of everything.

When we were assigned our groupings in the first quarter, I was skeptical. Not really having any friends in the class, I had no measure for who was a good person/groupmate or not. For the most part, it turned out great! Zia and Gilly, who I was forced to talk to constantly because of TAAG, are now two of my closest friends in the class.

Because of a random grouping, I have now found people that I can depend on and confide in. Aside from this, however, I actually love my math group! Over the course of this year, we have developed a group dynamic that allows us to work together efficiently and effectively. We have crafted a safe space wherein we are free to ask for help from each other and complain about how hard lessons are to each other.

However, things are not perfect all the time. There was a recent experience right before finals wherein a groupmate and I fought, and although they were also at fault, I admit that I also could have been a little bit more patient. I will spare you the details, because the fight was a private matter that could have been resolved between us, but instead escalated in our group chat. Had I been a bit more patient, perhaps I could have resolved things level headedly instead of allowing things to intensify to the point wherein it disrupted the peace in our group.

In the days following the argument, our group had to practice for finals, and I admit that the tussle did indeed disrupt the group dynamic, and it took a while to get everything back on track. Although in the end, we were both mature enough to act professionally, I do think that we wasted time trying to get back in the groove and it cost us in the end. On my part, I will continue to attempt to extend my patience and be mindful of the fact that we are all going through something, whether or not I am made aware of it.

For me, the most challenging lesson was the first two modules we had– limits and continuity. I had always known that proving and definitions weren’t my strong suit, but oh man I really FELT that weakness this quarter. I honestly have no idea how I passed OFQ 1.

I actually didn’t realize exactly how detrimental not understanding the basics of Basic Calculus would be until I started studying for the finals. Let me set the scene: Nakaura, half-awake, had just been told that there would be two days for finals, which would cover modules 1 to 6. Immediately after that session, our group had called for a meeting to discuss how we would go about studying and practicing for the finals. I distinctly remember myself saying “To recap, our gameplan is: self study for three days, and pray to whoever you believe in that we don’t get assigned on Monday”. Funnily enough, I also remember my group mates telling me that there’s no way we’re going to be one of the first three to take the finals. Well… as luck would have it, we were the last group of the first batch to be picked.

The days following the announcement was just a blur of me trying to cram all the information into my head. You see, I’m the type to learn, take the test on the topic, and immediately discard of the knowledge; so at that point, I had completely forgotten (or chosen to forget, you decide) the first three modules. I stayed up every night and woke up early in the morning to get more time in studying, but I just couldn’t get the first two modules… at least I couldn’t, until I consulted my best friend, the person to whom I attribute 90% of my academic success to: Organic Chemistry Tutor on Youtube.

I think that something I could do well to remember is that there is self studying, then there is self researching. The information given to us can only get us so far, but it is up to us to really comprehend the topic at hand by doing complementary readings, further research, and the like.

This is something I think is greatly relevant in our lives today, especially given our current political climate. With election season coming up, I believe that one way (and honestly, the only way if you’re using common sense) is to not simply take the information or news given to us at face basis, but also do our own digging and research, fact check and train ourselves to be more literate when it comes to consuming media.

I think that my most significant achievement in math this quarter was our finals. Having been the first batch of the modified finals system, I feel like it was a very big risk that we had to take. Given that we had no idea what the problems were gonna look like, nor what type of questions would be asked. We had no intel from sections or groups that came before us, or way of preparing ourselves for the immense pressure we would feel when our turn came.

Yet despite this, I am proud to say that our group did well. Fun fact, our group chat name on Messenger is “superior math group”. Not because we think we’re the smartest group, we’re well aware there are other, smarter groups. No, it’s because we are comfortable in the fact that had we had another set of group mates, things would have been way harder than it already is.

Taking the finals with my group, as well as the preparation leading up to it was truly a humbling experience. Because we needed to study and prepare for six modules, we needed to accept that we couldn’t master all the lessons and topics in the four days we had to prepare. Thus, as we were practicing, we talked about who was well versed in what topic, and identified which parts each member was struggling with. This quality of ours, our ability to identify and compensate for each other’s shortcomings is important.

I am a strong believer in the idea that one’s weakness is another person’s strength, and we really seem to have found that balance as a group. As an individual, both a student and a member of society, I think that being open to conversation about my strengths and weaknesses as well as others’ is a great quality to have. This allows a vulnerability that in the end, only makes a group (or community) stronger.

As someone who is turning 18 this October, I am well aware that adulthood, and all its responsibilities, await me- one of which is the right to vote. I am not at all worried about whether or not I’ll make the right choice because I know that when the time comes, I will be able to see someone’s strengths and weaknesses as they are, and how this might contribute to and complement the members of society. Furthermore, I know that I will not only be voting with a gut feeling, but that I will be making an educated decision.

I like to think that getting through life is just a simple math equation because its all about balance. For every stressful event, we need to stop and think rationally about what we are about to do and basically go through the stages of problem solving. How does this problem or issue make us feel? Do we feel equipped to tackle this problem? Why or why not? What can we do about it?

And when the comes, we need to execute our plan and learn from the experience. Simply add a bit of joy to your life to minus the stress.

In the segment below, I analyze BTS' song Zero O'Clock, that tackles the feeling of being burnt out and hopelessness. I have attached the lyrics and Spotify QR to the song and will be analyzing it in the next page. Enjoy!

You know those days sad for no reason Those days where you're body is heavy r you re whe Those days busy and ne else except you is And it looks like everyo rce fie though it seems like I'm My feet won't set off, already too late le world I'm hateful of the who ps click-clacking speed bum Yeah, here and there are my words lessen and ed mpl cru ws gro My heart hard Why the hell? I ran so Oh why to me Come home and lie in bed fault?

Thinking if it was my the clock Dizzy night, looking at ht Soon it will be midnig ent?

Will something be differ like that It won't be something r But this day will be ove hands overlap ond sec and ute min the When ath for a little while The world holds its bre Zero o’clock be happy (Ooh-ooh) And you gonna be happy (Ooh-ooh) And you gonna t settled down Like that snow that jus first time Let's breathe, like the be happy (Ooh-ooh) And you gonna be happy (Ooh-ooh) And you gonna Turn this all around , zero o' clock When everything is new tle by little The beat slips away lit y face eas an on put 't can I ar lyrics ili fam g tin get for I keep my way ng goi g hin not s There'

Yes, it's all in the past Even talking to mys elf, it's not easy Is it my fault? Is it my wrong?

Only my echo comes back with no answer Come home and lie in bed Thinking if it was my fault?

Dizzy night, lookin g at the clock Soon it will be mid night Will something be dif ferent?

It won't be something like that But this day will be over When the minute and second hands overla p The world holds its breath for a little while Zero o’clock (Ooh-ooh) And you gon na be happy (Ooh-ooh) And you gon na be happy Like that snow that just settled down Let's breathe, like the first time (Ooh-ooh) And you gon na be happy (Ooh-ooh) And you gon na be happy Turn this all around When everything is new, zero o' clock Put my hands togeth er to pray Hoping that tomorrow I'll laugh more, for me It'll be better, for me When this song ends May a new song begin Hoping that I'll be a little happier, yea h (Ooh-ooh) And you gon na be happy (Ooh-ooh) And you gon na be happy Like that snow that just settled down Let's breathe, like the first time (Ooh-ooh) And you gon na be happy (Ooh-ooh) And you gon na be happy Turn this all around When everything is new, zero o' clock

hashtag felt. the Magis culture in the Ateneo, although mostly encouraging, sometimes reaches the point of toxicity where we work ourselves to the ground

oks like And it lo pt else exce everyone rce y and fie you is bus

Will something be different?

It won't be something like that But this day will be over

commentary on how we like to romanticize our struggles... its not always iced coffee, study dates at a cafe, and organized tables with to-do lists. oftentimes, we pressure ourselves to do more just because we see other people going through tasks with ease, when in fact they are struggling just as much as we are.

we always hope that tomorrow will bring some drastic change that magically changes everything, but life doesn't work that way. this line simply says that no, things probably won't be that different, but it will be a brand new day, and that is reason enough to try again.

be happy u gonna And yo

manifest! this line uses the word "and" as if they are implying that you WILL be happy, and that truly is up to you. it is our choice how we perceive and handle situations, so are gonna be happy, we are gonna be alright, if we just will it into existence.

Is it my fault? Is it my wrong?

Only my echo comes back with no answer

holds its The world while a little r o f h t a e br ock Zero o’cl

Why the hell? I ran so hard

same q tbh The

beat slip s aw I ca ay l n't ittl I ke put e ep f on a orge n ea ttin Ther sy g fa e's mili noth ar ing goin g my

by l ittl e face lyri cs way

its so easy to fall out of habit, which is ironic because it takes so hard to build one. it is always frustrating when you start to struggle with something that used to come with such ease, and to pretend as if nothing is happening.

there is usually no way of knowing whether you were in the wrong or if it was your fault, there is only a downward spiral of blame and self hatred that often ends badly. this line of thinking and questioning is harmful and is a habit that we all need to break out of.

faith is important. regardless of religion Put my hands together to pray or beliefs, it is my opinion that to believe h Hoping that tomorrow I'll laug me for in a better tomorrow and wish for that , more is part of how one can attain it. to have and keep the faith that better days will come, whether that be tomorrow or months in the future; this is what is truly important.

this song is telling us to pause and take a moment to ourselves. who are we to be so harsh on ourselves, constantly berating for a tiny mistake, not allowing ourselves the courtesy nor kindness we show to others, when the world is "stopping" and waiting for us to catch up? and when the world holds its breath, for the 60 seconds that the minute and second hands overlap, we can allow ourselves to sigh and let down the weight we've been carrying around