[10] July 1, 2011
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How to get your child through a tantrum
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Some children are more prone to tantrums depending on temperament and persistency. There are three general temperaments: cautious, easy and feisty. Persistency is also a basic character trait. A feisty child is more prone to tantrums. Combine feisty
There are two kinds of tantrums: 1) The child really is having a hard time (hungry, hurt, scared, etc.). Get them into quiet/safe area. Repeat a simple litany phrase such as “when your body and voice are quiet, we’ll get you taken care of.” Hold them or let them alone as they wish and wait it out. Some children want physical contact, for others it spins them even further over the edge.
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2) The tantrum is manipulative. Again, get them into quiet/safe area, stay by them and occasionally repeat a litany phrase such as “When you’re done, we’ll talk.” Otherwise ignore the behavior and do not give in. Keep your voice and face neutral. Don’t fuel the tantrum by giving in, being sympathetic, or trying to artificially stop it. When the child is calm and a constructive conversation is possible discuss what the child could have done differently to mentor them into more appropriate behavior. Karen Hergert is the director for Morning Star School, Inc., a private preschool with campuses in both Kenmore, 425-486-9333, and Woodinville, (425)486-5499. For information, visit www. morningstarschool.com.
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with high persistence, and you have a long-suffering parent. Tantrums can increase as part of a “stage.” Physical and cognitive growth can create unusually rocky emotions or testing behaviors. Frustration, growth hormones, etc. can all combine to produce a period of tantrums that can last for a few days or weeks for even the easy/low persistent personality types. How can you get a child through a tantrum or avoid having one? There isn’t a magic cure. Tantrums usually happen when a child is completely overwhelmed. They can become manipulative if they are mishandled and the tail will begin to wag the dog.
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