October 2019 volume 9, issue 4
An advertising supplement produced by the Peninsula Daily News and Sequim Gazette
pack a healthy lunch: 4 planning happy dental visits: 3
online safety for teens: 12 stomp out bullying: 13
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planning happy dental visits Early exposure & good habits critical to preventing problems by Gregory Royack, DDS, North Olympic Healthcare Network
and concerns with teething, as well as pacifier- and finger-sucking habits. If possible, it is best to schedule 1. Start tooth care within six months morning appointments for younger children since they are more alert of your child’s first tooth. and fresh at that time. Try to avoid 2. Morning appointments are best scheduling appointments when the child might normally be napping. It is best to 3. Use books and open prepare preschool-age or older children communication to expose your child for dental visits by letting them know what to expect and why it is important to dentistry before your first visit. to regularly see the dentist. There are 4. Build good preventative tooth several good children’s books available care habits. to help parents prepare children for their first dental visit (list on page 5). Preparing children for their first dental visit may seem like a challenging PREPARE task, but it can be made much easier if The first way to ensure that your you have a plan. child’s visit is a good one is to prepare Dentists typically prefer seeing yourself for the appointment. Write children within six months of the down a list of questions or concerns first tooth coming in, or 12 months you want to discuss with your dentist, after at the latest. During the initial as this will help your dentist to address appointment, the dentist and their them during the visit. staff likely will provide information Try to remember that your feelings regarding prevention of early childhood toward dental visits can strongly impact decay as well as discuss infant/child how your child feels about seeing the feeding practices, cleaning methods
dentist as well. If you have dental anxieties, be careful not to relay those fears or dislikes to your child. Parents can best help their children by staying calm while in the dental office. This will ease the child, but also will help you discuss your child’s dental needs, such as how to teach your child tooth care. Dentists and their staff likely will discuss dental concerns in childfriendly terms to help the child better understand what is being discussed: • “Sugar bugs” describes plaque or cavities. • “Sleepy juice” often describes dental anesthetics for numbing. • “Tooth counters” names the instruments. • “Happy gas” refers to nitrous oxide or laughing gas. • “Mr. Bumpy” or “Mr. Wind” explains dental hand pieces These terms might seem odd to adults, but they explain the underlying concepts in a way children can understand and accept, alleviating fear. DENTIST continues on page 5 >>
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lunches that pack a healthy punch by Jessica Colwell, MD North Olympic Healthcare Network
Packing healthy lunches for kids can be challenging when you’re dealing with picky eaters and time constraints, but they don’t have to be. With some general guidelines, the options become endless. To make your life easier, design your child’s lunch to be healthy and nutritious, fast to put together and free of wasteful packaging.
Most “little ones” will respond well to healthy food when good habits are built early. Starting from age 1, include two servings of a fruit or vegetable, a complex carbohydrate and a protein, with some good fats mixed in. Pick some things you know your kids love and some things that are new, but not too scary. Be mindful of food texture. The other thing to consider is time — time on both ends — how much preparation is needed? How long will it take your child to unpackage and eat the food? Children don’t get much time
to eat, so you don’t want them spending time with complicated wrapping. For example, string cheese can be really hard for little hands, and often the teacher is too busy to help, so before you know it, lunchtime is over. Consider breaking the seal or taking it out of the package entirely before packing it into your child’s lunch.
BASIC NUTRITION COMPONENTS When building your child’s lunch, strive to hit the “big four”: fat, fiber, carbs and protein. the fats
Fats are important for growing bodies and several good foods overlap the “big four” categories, like cheese, nuts and eggs. These super lunch foods are an easy one-punch to get energy in those growing bodies.
Fiber is great for preventing constipation, a fairly common issue in children who eat too many refined
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foods. This is where the fruit and vegetables come in. Provide finger foods that are easy to eat and require little to no cutting — this will cut down on your preparation time. Baby carrots, mini cucumbers, grapes, apple chips and other dried fruits, berries, apple sauce, mini plums, cherries, mini tomatoes, snap peas, kale chips and mini sweet peppers are all delicious foods that are fast-packing, require no cutting and (the good news for parents) no prepping.
Beware choking hazards for children under 3. Any food that fits through a toilet paper tube is dangerous and should be cut into smaller pieces. For example, cherry tomatoes and grapes must be cut in half. Make sure your child knows about pits, peels and other special eating processes before sending them in a to-go lunch.
Provide a variety of colors to maximize interest and nutritional value. LUNCH continues on page 6 >>
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<<DENTIST continued from page 3
WHAT TO EXPECT
Typically the first visit for your child will involve an exam with the help of the parent or guardian. A “lap exam” is usually performed for younger children (the child lies back in the parent’s lap) so the dentist can evaluate the child’s teeth and oral tissues.
For younger children meeting a dentist for the first time, expect a little fussing or possibly even some crying to occur. This is expected and will actually allow the dentist to see much better. For children that are able to sit in the dental chair, they will be laid back in the chair for an evaluation and, if time permits, even a cleaning with the “tickly toothbrush.” The dentist or their staff also will ask about applying a fluoride varnish, which is important to help strengthen your child’s teeth and prevent cavities.
PREVENTATIVE TOOTH CARE
There are several things you can do to help make sure your child’s teeth are protected from decay.
First, make sure that you help your children brush their teeth until they are able to properly manage brushing alone (usually around age 7 or 8). For infants, use a clean, damp cloth or finger brush to clean the erupting teeth and gums. Start brushing twice daily with a very small amount of toothpaste (a paperthin smear across the bristles) when your child’s first tooth appears. When the child is old enough to spit out after brushing, a small, pea-sized amount of toothpaste will work fine. Second, to avoid decay, do not ever give children a bottle of milk, juice or sweetened liquid at bed/nap time. Children should not be given any juice before age 1 and you should limit any drinks other than water to meal times. Sweet drinks, like juice, pop, punch and similar beverages, can lead to early tooth decay and long-term damage. Lastly, limit foods and treats that can get stuck in the grooves of the teeth — such food increase tooth decay. This includes hard and sticky candies, gummy fruit snacks and dried fruit, crackers and other refined grain snacks,
as well as the previously mentioned sweetened drinks and juices. Offer fruit rather than juice, as the fiber in the fruit tends to better clear the sugars off the teeth. Also, cheese is a good snack to help protect the teeth, because it helps create more saliva and the calcium and phosphate in the cheese help put minerals back into the teeth.
DENTIST-FRIENDLY CHILDREN’S BOOKS “Curious George Visits the Dentist,” by H. A. Rey The lovable monkey learns that dentist visits can be fun after a loose tooth requires a dentist visit.
Your dentist will make every effort to ensure your child’s first dental visit is a positive one that builds your child’s trust and creates an experience your child will be comfortable with.
“The Berenstain Bears Visit the Dentist,” by Stan and Jan Berenstain
Dentists strive to create an environment in which children will have fun and learn how to take care of their teeth for a lifetime.
“Little Critter” gets a checkup, X-rays and has a cavity filled.
Dr. Gregory Royack, DDS, a graduate of the UW School of Dentistry, has practiced in Port Angeles since 2008. He works at North Olympic Healthcare Network’s Dental Clinic. Royack enjoys time with family, fly fishing, and — perhaps not surprising of a flossing advocate — is an avid fly tier.
Starting with a visit from the Tooth Fairy, this book walks children through a painless dentist visit.
“Just Going to the Dentist,” by Mercer Mayer
“What to Expect When You Go to the Dentist,” by Heidi Murkoff Angus, the “Answer Dog,” explains who dentists are, what they do, the tools they use and the value of regular visits.
“ABC Dentist,” by Harriet Ziefert Colorful collages illustrate an entire alphabet of dentist terms. 9A2420226
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I’ll teach you how maintain your correct position. The stretching takes no more than 15 min a day for two weeks. The work is done with your clothes on just wear something loose so i can move you around comfortably. Generally it will take four treatments to correct a life time of memory that side bends and rotates our vertebras. These incorrect positions entrap nerves and causes some muscles to act like bone and become hard and dense.
The 2019-20 school calendar, along with information on bus schedules, athletics, concerts, and enrollment can be found at www.portangelesschools.org.
• Make sure to check out our website for inclement weather procedures! • Parent-Guardian/Teacher Conferences are the week of October 28th for all schools. • Board of Directors meetings are October 24th and November 14th at 7pm and are open to the public. Hope to see you there! PENINSULA FAMILIES TODAY | OCTOBER 2019 5
<<LUNCH continued from page 4
Including a side dip is a great option for adding healthy fats and helping children ease into fruits or veggies they are less comfortable with. For example, try hummus, plain Greek yogurt or ranch dressing for veggies. Plain, vanilla or fruit yogurt works well for fruits, but watch for added sugar content. Cottage cheese, cream cheese and peanut butter go well with both fruits and vegetables.
To add protein quickly to lunches, try cheese chunks, meat sandwiches or slices, edamame, nut butter sandwiches, hard boiled egg (peeled), beans, hummus or nuts. If you want to get creative, use cookie cutters to add interest to otherwise plain lunch components.
Thinking in advance about lunch beverages is important, because you can Recent research by the use a lunch beverage to do a little extra if you have a picky eater who continues National Institute of Allergy and to be underweight. Protein shakes come Infectious Disease indicates that in juice box packaging and are flavored early introduction to peanuts is for children. A child’s protein drink is a important for preventing a peanut helpful boost, and it’s easy to put milk allergy. Consult your pediatrician into a reusable container if you have the right lunch box set. before changing your child’s
current diet plans.
MAKE IT MOBILE
Bento boxes are great vessels for making lunch a mobile experience. These are becoming increasingly popular, with many varieties and childthemed designs available. Consider a box that is one piece, rather than several little containers in a bag, as it is more likely that all pieces will make it home.
Bento-style containers keep food items separate, which is helpful when young children have issues with mixing different foods. Compartment containers improve the speed of packing. There’s no searching for Tupperware or zip lock bags, and they come leak-proof. They also decrease packaging waste — all meals should minimize environmental impact. The options are almost endless. Quick school lunches can be a fun way to introduce variety and nutrition to our children’s diet, made with love, care and well informed selections.
But most often, water is the best option to accompany lunch. the carbs Popular juice packets lack healthy There are many good options for quickly adding important carbohydrates calories that tend to fill children’s to childrens’ lunches, including breads, tummies, cutting down on their crackers, pretzels, mini rice cakes and appetite. This can leave them plain popcorn. Whenever possible, use Dr. Jessica Colwell, MD, is a family “whole” options to further improve your hungry a short time later if they’re doctor at North Olympic Healthcare child’s fiber intake. too full to eat their lunch. Network and mother of two little eaters.
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craft: leaf stamps 1. Go on a walk to gather fallen leaves of various colors, shapes and sizes • Freshly fallen leaves are easier to paint than dried ones. 2. Set up a paint-safe space and gather your other materials: • paint paper (a large sheet of butcher paper makes for a stress-free canvas) • washable paints of all colors • large mix-and-match palette (a plate works well) • sponges and/or large, soft brushes • one sponge or brush per color will provide better colors 3. Doing one leaf at a time, have your child paint each leaf: a. Place a leaf upside-down (so the raised veins are up) on a piece of newspaper and coat with a solid layer of paint. b. Blot excess paint off. Blend in other colors, if desired. • Start with the lightest color and work darker to maintain colors. • Less paint is better than more. 4. Before the paint dries, have your child press the painted leaf onto the paper with his/her hands or a large, dry brush. • Make sure to go all the way to the edges for a good print. 5. Do this for each leaf, encouraging your child to use different color sets.
This is a good opportunity to discuss color names. Can he/she match the original leaf colors? What creative color combos can your child come up with? What can your child point out about the different leaf shapes and sizes? Don’t worry if they overlap — that’s part of the art!
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By Jennifer Lu’Becke, North Olympic Library System
book list: friendship
Back-to-school means making some new friends and getting reacquainted with old ones. Here are some fun titles that can lead to deeper conversations about friendship.
“WHAT JAMES SAID”
By Liz Rosenberg Illustrated by Matthew Myers Ages 4-8
“TINY T. REX AND THE IMPOSSIBLE HUG” By Jonathan Stutzman Illustrated by Jay Fleck Ages 3-5
A sweet tale of a small-armed dinosaur striving to cheer up his sad friend. Can dinosaurs hug, or are there other ways to show someone they are special?
“He said that she said that he was …” That is how the rumor mill begins. This is a story of two best friends and a one-sided misunderstanding that almost ends their friendship. Children will relate to the ups and downs of friendship and perhaps think twice before believing everything they hear.
“PEOPLE SHARE WITH PEOPLE” “THE COOKIE FIASCO”
Written and illustrated by Dan Santat Ages 6-8
By Lisa Wheeler Illustrated by Molly Idle Ages 4-8
Sharing is caring, but not everything should be shared. This book’s rhyming text is an enjoyable way for children to learn appropriate sharing skills.
“LADY PANCAKE & SIR FRENCH TOAST” “FRIENDS AND FOES: POEMS ABOUT US ALL” “STICK AND STONE”
By Beth Ferry Illustrated by Tom Lichrenheld Ages 4-7
This adorable story is about the power of friendship and has a subtle anti-bullying message. As an added bonus, adults will love the puns.
“STELLA DIAZ HAS SOMETHING TO SAY”
By Josh Funk Illustrated by Brendan Kearney Ages 5 and up
By Angela Dominguez Ages 4-10
Food fight — Lady Pancake and Sir French Toast are great friends until there is only one Celebrate all types of drop of syrup left. This silly book friendships — good, old and new is laugh-out-loud funny and full — with 23 poems. Some are silly of refrigerator-food fun! A clever and some are heartfelt, but all will story with rhyming text, detailed spark continuing conversations illustrations and an ending with a about what it means to be compromise. a friend. Written and illustrated by Douglas Florian Ages 4-8
Four friends and three cookies — a humorous story about figuring out how to equally share a sweet treat. With a little hidden math lesson, this “Elephant & Piggie Like Reading” book is sure to please.
Stella, a third-grader, struggles to talk in class. Everyone thinks she’s shy, but really she worries about accidently speaking in Spanish or using the right English word. Stella longs to make new friends. Will she work out her fears? A charming chapter book with black-and-white illustrations scattered throughout.
These books and more are available at your favorite North Olympic Library System (NOLS) location. Library staff are happy to help you find more reading suggestions at your local branch, or you can request custom reading lists at nols.org/BookMatch. NOLS hosts events for all ages. There’s something happening for every age this fall, from storytimes and teen lounges to book discussions and musical performances, nols.org. Peninsula Daily News & Sequim Gazette
PENINSULA FAMILIES TODAY | OCTOBER 2019 9
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fall calendar: candy, costumes and carnivals JEFFERSON COUNTY Fall carnival
A fall carnival will be held at Chimacum Elementary School, 91 West Valley Road, from 5:30 p.m. to 8 p.m. Friday, Oct. 25. The family-friendly event will feature fun activities, prizes at a variety of booths, a cake walk, a bouncy house and arts and crafts activities. There is a nominal fee for games. Food will be available for purchase.
Halloween Storytime Bash
The Port Townsend Public Library, 1220 Lawrence St., will host a “Halloween Storytime Bash” at 10:15 a.m. Tuesday, Oct. 29. The special Halloween family storytime is free and open to the public. Stories, songs, rhymes and spooktacular fun will be part of the event. Costumes are encouraged. The bash is sponsored by Friends of the Port Townsend Public Library.
from Madison to Polk will be closed to traffic from 3:30 p.m. to 5:30 p.m. for public safety at this event. Approximately 1,500 to 2,000 people attend this event. Flashlights and visible clothing are recommended, ptmainstreet.org.
Haunt Town, the Port Townsend Kiwanis Club’s annual haunted house, will be open Oct. 24, 25, 26 and 31 and is built in the basement of the Elks Lodge at 555 Otto St. in Port Townsend. Hours are from 7 p.m. to 10 p.m. Cost is $12 per person. The fundraiser benefits children’s projects and all the local high school ASB programs whose students attend. There is no minimum age limit, but organizers suggest children younger than 10 might not be up to this type of entertainment.
CLALLAM COUNTY Port Angeles Trick-or-Treat The Port Angeles Downtown
Trick-or-treat Costume Parade Association Trick-or-Treat is set for The Port Townsend Main Street Downtown Trick-or-Treat and Costume Parade will be held in downtown Port Townsend from 3:45 p.m. to 5 p.m. Thursday, Oct. 31. The free event is open to costumed youngsters, preschool through sixth grade, and their parents or caregivers. Participants are to meet at 3:45 p.m. under the 1st Security Bank Plaza clock at Water and Adams streets. The parade leaves at 4 p.m. proceeding toward Port Townsend Plaza, and the children trick or treat on the way back. Participating merchants will offer trick-or-treating opportunities after the parade. Water Street and some side streets
Pumpkin Patch fun
Visitors to the The Pumpkin Patch, a 33-acre farm at the corner of U.S. Highway 101 and Kitchen-Dick Road, are invited to explore the farm. Although no general admission is charged to the annual Pumpkin Patch, fees are charged for activities. The farm is open daily from noon to 6 p.m. through Oct. 31. There is a straw maze this year, but no corn maze. Entry to the maze costs $5 for kids and is free for parents. U-pick pumpkins vary in cost depending on the size, type and style of pumpkin. The farm also offers a pumpkin shoot daily and wagon rides on weekends. Snacks and drinks are available for purchase. Theresa Lassila said she continues operating the Pumpkin Patch each year in memory of her father, Phil Lassila, who started the tradition in 1999. To schedule an appointment for field trips, call Lassila at 360-461-0940.
2 p.m. to 5 p.m. Thursday, Oct. 31. The free event is open to costumed youngsters accompanied by parents and caregivers. Stores bearing a “trick-or-treat” sign on doors or windows will offer treats. Halloween Bash Downtown streets will remain open to A Halloween Bash will be held at the traffic, so care should be exercised. Carroll C. Kendall Unit Boys & Girls Club in Sequim, 400 W. Fir St., from Sequim Trick-or-Treat The annual Sequim Merchants Trick- 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. Saturday, Oct. 26. The all-ages event is open to the public. or-Treat will be held at a variety of Children must be accompanied by Sequim businesses between 3 p.m. and an adult. 5 p.m. Thursday, Oct. 31. Arts and crafts activities, a haunted The free event, sponsored by the house, a costume contest and a jack-o’Sequim-Dungeness Valley Chamber of Commerce and Sequim Merchants, will lantern contest will occur. feature area business owners handing People wishing to enter a carved
pumpkin must drop off their masterpiece at the club between noon and 6 p.m. Friday, Oct. 26, for contest judging. Admission to the Halloween Bash costs $2 per person and includes 10 game tickets. This fee does not include concessions. You can purchase pizza, pop and chips for $3. Additional game tickets can be purchased at the rate of $1 for 10 tickets.
Residents at the Forks Community Hospital’s Long Term Care (LTC), 530 Bogachiel Way, look forward to hosting young trick-or-treaters on Thursday, Oct. 31. Bring your trick-or-treaters and join in the fun! You can help this tradition continue by providing a candy donation to LTC prior to Oct. 31.
Community Halloween Party
Sunshine and Rainbows Family First Center, 945 S. Forks Ave., will host a Community Halloween Party on Friday, Oct. 25, from 4 p.m. to 6 p.m. Please join us for free crafts and fun. Costumes are not required, but are welcomed. Parents are required to stay. For questions or more information call 360-374-9340.
A Truck-or-Treat will be held at the Assembly of God Church, 81 Huckleberry Lane in Forks, from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. Thursday, Oct. 31. The event will feature a variety of treats, indoor games and other activities and is free and open to the public.
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out treats for children. Participating shops will display an orange pumpkin in the window. Streets will remain open to traffic, so care should be exercised.
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Dozens of applications (apps) make it all too easy for children of any age to connect and share with their friends … and anyone else. Here are some examples of common apps children use:
All-in-one messenger with a real-time location tracking feature
Allows sharing of photos and short videos
Hide It Pro (HIP)
Used for concealing information from anyone with access to the device, such as parents
Stream and watch live video
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online safety for teens Protect your child by regulating internet and social media use by Shawna Dixson
Children and teens are nearly always “plugged in” these days. Regardless of the mode of access — smart phones, school and home computers, personal laptops and tablets — children are online almost constantly. “It’s more prevalent than parents might think,” said Officer Kindryn Leiter, school resource officer at Sequim Middle School. “Fifth grade is when they tend to get interested. By sixth grade, most children use social media regularly. We start to see issues around seventh and eighth grades.”
With an increasingly digital classroom, the vast array of apps currently available and the speed at which technology changes, it may be difficult to figure out what your children are actually doing all that time they’re on their digital devices, but it’s even harder to police their activities.
Just as you would take the time to meet the parents and ensure someone responsible is home before letting your child visit a friend’s house, it is essential that parents are diligent about overseeing their child’s online safety. ONLINE PREDATORS EXIST
According to the FBI, the two primary types of online pedophiles are those who seek face-to-face meetings with children and the ones who settle for child pornography. “It’s not necessarily something that has happened in our area, but all over the country, sex traffickers target children through social media,” Leiter said. Predators pose as a peer or find other ways to get “friended” or into a position of familiarity, then convince children to send or receive photos, conduct a video chat or even meet in person. It is important that parents familiarize themselves with the basics of internet safety, then establish and enforce rules for internet and social media use.
Here are some basic parent suggestions for building these rules into lasting guidelines your children live by: • Establish rules for internet and social media use. Make a formal agreement with your children about internet use in and outside your home. Don’t forget to include cell phone usage in your talk. • Use the internet with your children to establish trust and set a good example. • Keep your home computer where you can easily monitor your child’s online activity.
• Discuss your child’s online activities as part of your daily routine — just as you would ask “what did you do at school today?” 9A2425455
12 OCTOBER 2019 | PENINSULA FAMILIES TODAY
• Regularly go through your child’s contact lists and block people you or your child do not know. Be up front about it and have your child participate so you can discuss the risks of talking to strangers.
• Be mindful of the time your children spend online for personal use. Set a schedule for when online use is OK and when your child needs to do something else. • Assist your teen in creating any social media profiles you agree to. Walk your child through which information to keep secret and adjust the security settings for every service or app. A quick Google search should allow you to find step-by-step guides for whichever apps your child is interested in.
Be supportive of your children if they tell you about something that happened online, such as cyberbullying or suspicious messages. Don’t be dismissive — youth are vulnerable to the opinions and actions of others online. According to Leiter, the best thing you can do to keep your child safe is to make sure your child knows he or she can talk to you, no matter what.
“Keep communication open. Talk to your kids about it. Ask about it. A lot of these kids never tell their parents that they got messages from weirdos,” Leiter said. “They’re afraid to get in trouble.” If you’re concerned about your kids’ online behavior, involve yourself in their online lives and take an active role in guiding their internet activities. ONLINE continues on page 14 >>
The FBI warns parents that children may not always be honest about what they’re doing online, fbi.org. Youngsters often use special acronyms to warn people in online chats when their parents are nearby. Examples include: •• PAW or PRW: Parents are watching •• PIR: Parents in room •• POS: Parent over shoulder •• P911: Parent emergency ••(L)MIRL: (Let’s) meet in real life Peninsula Daily News & Sequim Gazette
stomp out bullying Establish a culture of inclusion to promote “upstander” behavior Bullying Warning Signs
If your child exhibits any of these symptoms, he or she may be getting bullied:
Members of the Sequim Boys and Girls Club made signs as part of their anti-bullying curriculum and then had a parade. submitted by the Sequim Boys & Girls Club
According to STOMP Out Bullying and the National Center for Education Statistics, one out of four kids is bullied. Bullying threatens youths’ physical and emotional safety and has a negative impact on development. That’s why the Boys and Girls Clubs of the Olympic Peninsula (Clubs) can be seen taking a stand against bullying every October. The staff and members are on a path to create a judgement-free generation by providing an environment in which adolescents are empowered to create a culture of kindness and encouragement.
To end bullying and cyberbullying, the Clubs promote “upstander” behavior and teach empathy.
HOW TO IDENTIFY BULLYING
Bullying is an intentional, aggressive and repeated behavior that involves an imbalance of power and strength. It can take many forms: • physical, verbal • emotional (intimidation using gestures, social exclusion, threats) • sexual • racial • digital (cyberbullying) • hazing (causing embarrassment, harassment or ridicule)
• Comes home with torn or damaged clothing or belongings • Has unexplained cuts, bruises and scratches • Has few, if any, friends with whom he or she spends time • Seems afraid of going to school, walking to and from school, riding the school bus or taking part in organized activities with peers and makes up excuses as to why they can’t go to school • Has lost interest in schoolwork or suddenly begins to do poorly in school • Appears anxious, sad, moody, teary, depressed or suffers from a loss of appetite • Complains frequently of headaches, stomachaches or other physical ailments, or has trouble sleeping
HOW YOU CAN HELP
Just as the Clubs do, it is important to establish a culture of inclusion and respect at home as a first step against bullying. Reward your children when they show thoughtfulness and respect for others. Use positive terms, such as what to do, rather than what not to do. Be a role model and share examples of people helping others. Use one-on-one feedback in a private setting to correct undesired behaviors. This helps your child identify inappropriate or mean behavior and improve self esteem.
Should you discover your child may be experiencing bullying, visit stompoutbullying.org for more in-depth tools and resources to identify bullying and cyberbullying and how to work with schools and law enforcement to make changes. If you believe your child is being bullied, find out and document all information about what the bullies are doing, including dates, times and places. Try not to be personally offended and share details without ranting — leave emotions out of it. Ask for help from leaders who know the children involved.
WHAT TO TEACH YOUR CHILD
Over the course of October, the members of the Boys & Girls Clubs are given eight anti-bullying tips. These tips apply to all youth and should be shared with your child to help create a judgement-free generation. STOMP continues on page 15 >>
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<<ONLINE continued from page 12
Online safety resources
now and for years to come. Do you want something you posted when you were being thoughtless to haunt you the rest of your life?
RULES FOR KIDS
Be Internet Awesome
As school resource officer, Officer Leiter teaches kids basic internet safety during special presentations. Use 4. Be “good” online. the advice her presentation offers as a foundation for Do not send mean or threatening messages. Do not setting up online rules in your own home. download or use illegal music, video or other things. Act like you would act in person. Remember, there 1. Keep identity (and location) a secret. are people with feelings, just like you, reading your Do not share your real name, address, phone messages. If you’re mad at them right now, it might be number or where you go to school. All personal best to wait until you’re feeling calm to respond. information should be kept private, especially Ask your parents for advice if you’re angry or sad. anything that gives away where you are or when. They can help you make good decisions about how to Use privacy settings to make sure personal fix the problem. interests and feelings, photos of yourself and friends or anything else that gives outsiders a look into your 5. Know who you are talking to. personal life are kept to people you know — better yet, Only talk to people online if you met them in person don’t post them at all — these are perfect tools for bad first. Do not trust someone just because they are a guys to pretend they are your friend. friend of your friend. If someone is “internet famous” or an “influencer” 2. Keep passwords to yourself. on social media, it does not mean you can trust them. Do not share (or post) your username or password Check with your parents before “following” anyone with anyone, including friends. online or clicking any links. Don’t let your friends log in to your accounts. If someone else gets into your account, they can use Never meet someone in person who you your name and identity to say whatever they want. have only met online, unless you have parent You are responsible for anything your account does, so make sure it stays secure. permission and supervision. If someone has access to your account, it also means they can see your “private” content, which could be 6. Avoid adult content. embarrassing or put you in a bad position. Do not click links or open images from anyone you do not know. 3. Be careful what you share. Only share and receive images and videos with The internet has a great memory and nothing is proper clothing and behaviors, even if you know or truly private. Privacy settings are always changing, like the person. so check them often. Before taking, posting or sending a photo, ask yourself You have “electronic footprints” that basically how you would feel if your family or teachers saw it. Remember, nothing is really private in the online anyone can follow, including bad guys. world, and once you post you lose control of how Things you put online can impact your future. Jobs, your content is used … and who sees it. Keep safe by sharing your true self only in the “real world.” colleges, friends and family can all see what you post
Google paired up with iKeepSafe, ConnectSafely and Family Online Institute to develop the “Be Internet Awesome” program, which aims to help parents teach their children good internet habits, g.co/ BeInternetAwesome. The program advocates five statements for guiding internet use: Smart: Share with Care Alert: Don’t Fall for Fake Strong: Secure Your Secrets Kind: Itʼs Cool to Be Kind Brave: When in Doubt, Talk It Out
ikeepsafe.org focuses on data privacy and smart internet use for schools and families. Their parent resource list includes internet-safety-oriented children’s books, internet safety guides and other useful aids, ikeepsafe.org/resource_type/parent-resources.
This is a nonprofit organization dedicated to educating users of connected technology about safety, privacy and security. You’ll find research-based safety tips, parents’ guidebooks, advice, news and commentary on all aspects of tech use and policy. Safekids.com is aﬃliated with connectsafely.org. It has a child-safe Google search utility that will help ensure children do not receive inappropriate links, safekids. com/child-safe-search.
Family Online Safety Institute
Fosi.org is an international, nonprofit organization which works to make the online world safer for kids and their families.
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6. Don’t put yourself in a dangerous position, but don’t ignore the situation.
STOMP Out Bullying website STOMPoutbullying.org is a valuable resource if you are concerned your child may be a bully. It provides warning signs that your child may be a bully and tips on how to correct the behavior.
Do not be afraid to go get an adult or someone else nearby to help if it feels like you can’t handle it on your own.
7. If it feels wrong, it probably is.
If whatever you are witnessing makes you feel uneasy, uncomfortable or bad, it’s probably because whatever’s going on is not OK. Trust your gut instincts.
<<STOMP continued from page 13
1. Be an “upstander,” not a bystander. Bystanders walk by and ignore a situation. Upstanders pay attention, befriend the person being bullied and step in to help.
8. When in doubt, be nice.
2. Be brave enough to not worry about what people are going to say or think about you.
PARENTING A BULLY
Always do the right thing and be kind.
Many parents will take a stance of denial or think that others are being mean to their child. It takes a courageous and open parent to realize that their child has a problem and that they need help. Be a role model and use effective communication strategies with any young person being accused of bullying.
Being brave is interrupting a moment of bullying. Don’t let the fear of what others might say or think about you stop you from doing the right thing.
3. Think about the bigger picture of what it means for the person being hurt and those around you.
and stay firm. Create a plan to make amends with any target. Schools and the Clubs are uniquely positioned to engage youth to take action in their own antibullying projects. The hope is that youth become more empowered to promote a culture of positivity in their school, Club and community. Ending bullying will not happen overnight. Be the agents of change. As adults, we are responsible for ensuring that all kids get the help, awareness and education they deserve, so that they may have the opportunity to grow in a safe and comfortable environment. At the Boys and Girls Clubs of the Olympic Peninsula, staff take an active interest in guiding the children and teens who spend every day after school and when school is not in session in their care. Staff work to enrich members’ academic performance, and help themlead healthy lifestyles and build good character and citizenship, bgc-op.org.
Safety first — as a parent, if you witness bullying where harm is done (or threatened), take immediate action. Once safety is established, separate conversations with all parties can begin.
When you step up for and defend someone, you not only protect the person being victimized, you also send a message about how people are treated around you, letting others know that this kind of treatment is not OK.
4. Consider what it would feel like if someone defended you.
If you see someone getting bullied, think about what it would feel like if that were you. You would want someone to do the same for you in that situation.
5. You have the right to stop it.
You have the right to step in and stop bullying more than a bully has the right to intimidate, hurt and scare another person.
Before speaking with an offender, check your own feelings. Recognize strong emotions you may have about the situation and manage them before you talk with your child. Remember that your child is learning about the best and worst ways to respond to challenging situations by watching you. How you respond and the feelings you have can be contagious. Find a good place and time to talk with your child. Find out what is happening and don’t rush to judgement. Communicate your family rules and values
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