Seattle Weekly, March 28, 2012

MARCH 28–APRIL 3, 2012 I VOLUME 37 I NUMBER 13

WE’RE ON KINDLE! PAGE 7

SEATTLEWEEKLY.COM I FREE

PHO LOVERS WANTED! PAGE 31 RING MY BELLE, R. KELLY! PAGE 35

Seatt le w eekly • M ARCH 28 - April 3, 2012

1

Seattle weekly • M ARCH 28 - Apri l 3, 2012

2

A bird in the hand... a lifetime of memories You can help wild songbirds in one of PAWS’ most unique wildlife volunteer positions. As a Bird Nursery Caretaker, we’ll teach you how to prepare food and hand feed orphaned baby birds until they’re ready to fly home.

Help us, help them. It’s an experience you’ll never forget.

Visit paws.org for details, or call 425.787.2500 x261

Seatt le w eekly • M ARCH 28 - April 3, 2012

3

SUMMER AT

CORNISH JUNE 25 – AUGUST 10, 2012 ART + DESIGN / DANCE / MUSIC / THEATER STUDENTS AGE 15 –18 EXPERIENCE THE VISUAL & PERFORMING ARTS ADDITIONAL PROGRAMS FOR ADULTS & CHILDREN IN DANCE AND MUSIC

Seattle weekly • M ARCH 28 - Apri l 3, 2012

WWW.CORNISH.EDU/SUMMER

4

SET YOUR ALARM

FOR NEVER. NORTHERN QUEST IS THE INLAND NORTHWEST’S ONLY AAA FOUR DIAMOND CASINO RESORT. 250 OVERSIZED ROOMS & SUITES WORLDDCLASS GAMING LUXURY SPA 14 RESTAURANTS & LOUNGES STARRSTUDDED ENTERTAINMENT COMPLIMENTARY: WIIFI AIRPORT & AREAAWIDE TRANSPORTATION VALET & OVERNIGHT PARKING ACCESS TO FITNESS CENTER & POOL

inside» March 28–April 3, 2012 VOLUME 37 | NUMBER 13 » SEATTLEWEEKLY.COM

»20

»29

»10

up front 7

NEWS

THE DAILY WEEKLY | Meet the

attorney who’s attempting a landmark insanity defense in a court-martial.

10 FEATURE

BY NINA SHAPIRO | Last summer, SPD

in back 19 THE WEEKLY WIRE

We drink White Russians, laugh at Eugene Mirman, and mingle with nerds at Comicon.

20 ARTS

20 | OPENING NIGHTS | Sigmund Freud considers God, and a slacker refuses to leave her bathroom.

»cover credit

ILLUSTRATION BY: TOM DOUGHERTY COPYRIGHT © 2012 BY SEATTLE WEEKLY, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. REPRODUCTION IN WHOLE OR IN PART WITHOUT PERMISSION IS PROHIBITED. ISSN 0898 0845 • SEATTLE WEEKLY IS PUBLISHED WEEKLY BY SEATTLE WEEKLY, LLC. SEATTLE WEEKLY® IS A REGISTERED TRADEMARK . • PERIODICALS POSTAGE PAID AT SEATTLE, WA • POSTMASTER: SEND ADDRESS CHANGES TO SEATTLE WEEKLY, 10 08 WESTERN AVE., STE. 30 0, SEATTLE, WA 98104 • FOUNDED 1976.

MAIN SWITCHBOARD: 206-623-050 0 CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING: 206-623-6231 RETAIL AND ONLINE ADVERTISING: 206-467-4341

25 FILM

THIS WEEK’S ATTRACTIONS | An

Oscar-winning football doc from a locally raised director, plus other new releases.

29 FOOD

29 | BELLE CLEMENTINE | Incompatible

dining companions are a risk, but the food’s worth it.

30 | FIRST CALL | Hop on the Crazy Train!

31 | BOTTOMFEEDER | Keeping current, but remaining a dive.

31 | A LITTLE RASKIN | Join our team of pho-natics!

Unmistakably...

One to Two Carat Diamonds set in Platinum.

Open seven days a week.

33 MUSIC

Seatt le w eekly • M ARCH 28 - April 3, 2012

drew up a list of Belltown’s “frequent fliers”: the people cops question and arrest time and again. The list, which appeared to show just how hardened some criminals were, shocked police veterans and community members alike. But perhaps most surprising is the response from a department usually portrayed as hyper-aggressive.

22 | EAR SUPPLY | Three roles in one.

24 | THE FUSSY EYE | A mountain of salt.

33 | PUNK LYRICS | John K. Samson’s guide to the genre’s canonical texts.

35 | REVERB | Rachel Belle’s new column marks R. Kelly’s return, America’s wimpiest-sounding rock venues, and more.

36 | THE SHORT LIST | THEESatisfaction, Kithkin, two Bands, and much more.

39 | SEVEN NIGHTS | A closer look at the week’s top picks.

other stuff 22 24 27 30 43 44

| | | | | |

PERFORMANCE VISUAL ARTS FILM CALENDAR FEATURED EATS TOKE SIGNALS DATEGIRL

ad sections

42 | ALTERNATIVE HEALING 46 | CLASSIFIEDS

1407 FIFTH AVENUE | FIFTH & UNION | SEATTLE, WA 98101 | 206.447.9488

www.turgeonraine.com

5 TRnewspaperWeeklynewsize2012.indd 6

1/11/12 9:05 AM

6

Seattle weekly • M ARCH 28 - Apri l 3, 2012

news»Best of the Daily Weekly »dispatches from our news blog

Saving a Soldier

A lawyer tries to win his client a first-ever insanity verdict.

AFP PHOTO / DEFENSE VIDEO & IMAGERY DISTRIBUTION SYSTEM / SPC. RYAN HALLOCK

BECAUSE

I

\

JOIN US FOR EASTER CELEBRATION

ON

11 SEATTLE-AREA LOCATIONS, INCLUDING BENAROYA HALL

MARSHILL.COM/EASTER

Seatt le w eekly • M ARCH 28 - April 3, 2012

f Army Staff Sgt. Robert Bales is found Staff Sgt. Robert Bales (left), approximately guilty of killing any or all of the 17 six months before the massacre.

Afghan villagers he’s accused of massacring, he could be eligible for parole within 10 years, says James Culp, one of total), and also gave $11,000 apiece to a numthe nation’s top civilian military lawyers ber of others Bales is said to have wounded. and the defense attorney for Sgt. John M. Culp—the nation’s leading civilian attorney Russell, another accused massacre shooter in representing combat soldiers and Marines who is seeking to become the first soldier ever accused of murder or manslaughter in Iraq to be found not guilty by reason of insanity. and Afghanistan—says there are obvious difBoth men will be tried by courts-martial at ferences between the two massacres. Russell Joint Base Lewis-McChord, where the Army pleaded with doctors for help before grabbing earlier this year completed lengthy prosecua gun and shooting up a mental-health clinic tions of a dozen members of a “kill team” that at the camp on May 11, 2009, while Bales is murdered and wounded Afghan civilians. The accused of slaying Afghan villagers in two two sergeants are accused of history-making separate killing sprees on March 11, reportwar crimes—Bales of the most violent soldier- edly taking a break and returning to his base on-civilian murders in Afghanistan, and between shootings.

Russell of the most violent soldier-on-soldier But while he knows little of the inside killings in Iraq. details of the Bales case and is not involved In an interview with Seattle Weekly, Culp in the sergeant’s defense, Culp says there’s revealed that his client, Russell, 46, has been an important similarity between the two confined at JBLM since accused mass murderJanuary, having quietly ers. “Both men endured been moved from Fort three years in the war Seattle Weekly is now on Kindle! Don’t believe us?

Leavenworth, Kan., zone—Bales was on Go to Amazon and check it out for where Bales is now his fourth,” the Austin, yourself. (And while you’re there, get a subscription too—it’s just $1.99 a being held. Three years Texas–based attorney month for an ad-free edition, and your after he was accused notes, “and what both first two weeks are free.) of killing five fellow did was a complete SEATTLEWEEKLY.COM/DAILYWEEKLY U.S. troops while under aberration from what JBLM command at we know about them.”

Camp Liberty, Iraq, Russell will face courtThat suggests a mental breakdown at martial likely beginning this fall, Culp says. some level in both cases—a total flip-out Bales, 38, whose family lives in Lake Tapps, by Russell, Culp thinks, and “diminished will eventually be moved from Leavenworth capacity” (sane, but not knowing right from to join Russell at the base stockade, according wrong) by Bales, according to his Seattle to an Army announcement over the weekattorney John Henry Browne. end. Then he too will begin the long march “Both of them repeatedly went to combat, to court-martial, also likely to take years and and Bales saw even more death and destruction cost more than $1 million. Last week the U.S. than Sgt. Russell,” says Culp. “My experience paid $50,000 to each of the families of the is that it’s very common for sergeants not to 17 victims Bales allegedly killed ($850,000 » Continued on page 9

7

g n i t a D Game

e h T

PAID ADVERTORIAL

The story of a business that takes the game out of dating Have you ever been set up on a blind date, only to find an hour into dinner that it isn’t a match made in heaven?

Though our closest friends, turned matchmaker, have the best intentions, it can be hard to meet people who could potentially be Mr. or Mrs. Right in the midst of our busy lifestyles. But Seattle’s own Great Expectations dating service is here to show you that “the one” is out there, and they know exactly how to help you find them.

a password protected site for viewing only by other Great Expectations members. Everyone has deal-breakers when it comes to finding the person you want to spend your life with, so the Great Expectations staff helps to weed some of those things out, as well as find someone who has similar interests and hobbies.

month that allow people to expand their social circle, make new friends, and meet other members in a fun, relaxed atmosphere.

“We like to go the extra mile and are involved every step of the way, so members never feel alone in the process,” Wendy says.

Great Expectations is a professional, personalized dating service that allows single men and women to meet other quality singles in their area. In business for more than 35 years, it’s the nation’s oldest and largest private membership club for singles.

Seattle weekly • M ARCH 28 - Apri l 3, 2012

8

All members will have an in-depth profile, their photos and video posted online via

Dyan and Mark also owe their success to the Great Expectations team. Dyan joined Great Expectations in October 2010 to find a “life partner.” One of the matchmakers in the office suggested she go out with Mark, who had joined just one month prior. The pair immediately hit it off and got engaged July 2, 2011. Wedding bells tolled just two months later on September 3.

Husband and wife Bill and Debbie also found happiness thanks to Great Expectations’ office-wide effort. He wanted to meet a quality, professional mate. She wanted to find someone with whom to share her life. As fate would have it, Bill selected Debbie’s profile, and a relationship was forged. What began as a friendship blossomed into a love match, with an ensuing engagement March 16, 2011. They married July 20.

“We provide a safe, fun, efficient way to meet other quality singles that they might otherwise never meet,” says Great Expectations Center Director Wendy, who has more than 17 years of industry experience.

So how does it work? As soon as a prospective client calls, 425-444-3916, or visits the website, www.geseattle.com, the team immediately gets the process rolling. They prequalify members over the phone to come into the Seattle office for an interview. When they come in, potential members will sit down with a trained staff professional for a one-onone personal interview. All members are screened and must complete a criminal background check. If they feel like Great Expectations is a good fit for them, and they are a good fit for Great Expectations, they’ll schedule a time for their professional photo and video shoot.

this better than Ryan and Christina, who met thanks to the team’s matchmaking process. A Great Expectations member for a year, Ryan selected Christina— who had recently signed on as a client— and the couple clicked from the get go.

They were engaged June 11, 2011, and tied the knot just last month.

“There are no surprises, so it never feels like a blind date,” Wendy says.

“You have full control over who you meet and everything is unlimited— meaning you can select and meet as many people as you want.”

It’s a highly personalized matchmaking method—where everyone in the office knows all the members by name and where members reap the benefit of one-on-one interaction—that sets Great Expectations apart from the dating service pack. Great Expectations also hosts social events and activities every

Real People. Real Relationships.

Even though members get to decide who they meet, Great Expectations loves to play matchmaker and give suggestions of who they think their members would be compatible with. Members are always given control of who they want to meet and how many people they meet.

“You can take this at your own pace— take it as fast or slow as you feel comfortable,” Wendy adds.

In short, there’s no other service that compares to what Great Expectations has to offer. And no one can attest to

Whether you are too busy to date, are tired of the bar scene, don’t feel comfortable placing your personal information online or can’t seem to find the type of person you are looking for, Great Expectations Seattle will meet you where you are. Great Expectations will be there to back you up and point you in the right direction. They guide you through the process of finding your “other half,” as well as introducing you to a new, exciting social circle. In the words of a success story couple Ruth and David, “Just give it a shot. What do you have to lose?”

425.641.1200 • www.geseattle.com 11400 SE 8TH STREET, SUITE #215 BELLEVUE, WA 98004

news» The Daily Weekly » from page 7 seek mental-health treatment—they believe it’s a killer for their careers. John at least had access to help. Sgt. Bales was in a remote location, and it would have been more difficult for him, even if he wanted to receive treatment. That was the case, for example, with Private Lawrence.”

Pfc. David Lawrence, one of Culp’s 1,700 military clients, pleaded guilty last year to entering the holding cell of an Afghan prisoner and shooting him in the face. Though Lawrence faced life in prison or execution, Culp obtained a sentence of 12 1⁄2 years for the 20-year-old mentally stressed soldier, who was on antidepressants at the time.

Culp thinks Bales will find it more difficult than Russell did to make a case for mental impairment because Bales lacks the “clean hands” defense that Russell is mounting.

Besides allegedly making two separate trips to kill villagers, Bales was said to have been drinking prior to the incidents (Browne now describes it as the sergeant having “a sip” of something); he also has a drinking history that includes a bar fight. By comparison, Russell, in Culp’s words, “did nothing to contribute to his actions,” adding: “When you exacerbate a situation with drugs or alcohol— self-medicating or not—it’s going to be held against you, especially if you’re a sergeant in a combat zone with responsibilities to others. It’s voluntary intoxication, and that’s not a defense.

I don’t know to what extent that may have been involved in the Bales case. But Russell did not voluntarily take drugs or alcohol.”

These are issues Culp, a former paratrooper and Army staff defense counsel, has dealt with in some of his most high-profile cases, including the rape and murder of a 14-year-old Iraqi girl by four soldiers after they killed her mother, father, and 5-year-old sister, and the killings of 24 Iraqi civilians by four Marines— like Bales’ Afghan case, that war’s deadliest criminal shooting of civilians.

Find your community at Crossroads There's work, there's home - and there's Crossroads. A place to try new things and be part of a community. Live music, fun shops, and even rock climbing. It's all happening here. And you are always invited.

NE AVE

news@seattleweekly.com

Fifth & Union, Downtown Seattle • 206-623-2528 • 800-733-2528 www.foxsgemshop.com

156TH

Bales’ attorney Browne has indicated, however, that while he plans to include his client’s mental state as a defense—referring to an earlier traumatic head injury in the war zone that he says “was not treated, for a variety of reasons”—he also plans to force the Army to prove his client actually did the killing. He’s seen little proof of his client’s guilt, he says, and notes that the case lacks a crime scene and forensic evidence—there’s “no CSI stuff,” as he puts it.

Browne plans a trip to Afghanistan to collect his own evidence and statements.

Bales’ wife Kari says she’s bewildered by the charges: “This is not him,” she told NBC. Both sergeants could face the death penalty if convicted of just one of the counts of murder against them. There is no decision yet on whether to seek execution in the Bales case,

and while a judge has decided that Russell won’t face capital punishment, military prosecutors are still asking that it be considered, Culp says. A judge recently heard from both sides and is now weighing a final decision.

The difficulty, under military law, of presenting a mental-breakdown defense is that, to Culp’s knowledge, no soldier has ever won a not-guilty verdict by reason of insanity. But that’s his intention in the Russell case, he says, and he thinks he’ll prevail. “Sgt. Russell was psychotic and his actions show it,” says Culp.

As we reported in 2009: “After Russell obtained a gun (from a soldier who was guarding him at Camp Liberty) and raced to the mental-health clinic, ‘The sergeant moved swiftly through the unsecured building, a single-level plywood structure of about 20 rooms, isolated in a mostly treeless expanse off a busy base highway. He mercilessly sprayed his unsuspecting victims, some of them pleading for him to put down his weapon.’ ” Both Bales’ and Russell’s defenses are being designed to spare their lives if they’re convicted. They would then face, at the least, life sentences without parole. But Culp says the targeted outcome is a life sentence with parole.

Under the Uniform Military Code of Justice, soldiers given terms exceeding 30 years can become parole-eligible within a decade of sentencing.

“The only military crime that has a mandatory minimum is first-degree murder,” says Culp. With the death penalty off the table, “The only sentencing decision a jury can make is life—with or without parole. If it’s life with, the client is eligible for parole within 10 years—and is considered for parole every year thereafter.”

A case that includes convincing evidence of a mental breakdown could persuade a jury, during the sentencing phase of the courtmartial, to agree to that all-important wording, says Culp. But, the attorney cautions, “It’s a long road between now and what you put on at trial.” Evidence and tactics change. Ultimately, “You want the fairest trial possible and a jury to render a just verdict, and in my experience they usually do.” Rick AndeRson E

H ST

NE 8T

crossroadsbellevue.com

Seatt le w eekly • M ARCH 28 - April 3, 2012

“He mercilessly sprayed his unsuspecting victims, some of them pleading for him to put down his weapon.”

Sgt. John m. russell, accused of killing five fellow soldiers in Iraq.

9

G

GERALD reckons he’s been on the street since he was 10. He is now 41.

Seattle weekly • M ARCH 28 - Apri l 3, 2012

“One day, I came downtown. I saw the nightlife and became addicted to it,” he explains. “The drugs came, the partying. The next thing I knew, I was out here. It was fun. Exciting.”

Having grown up in a middle-class home, he makes no excuses. “This is what I chose,” he says.

He chose drug dealing too, and shoplifting and robbery. He has been convicted 32 times on various felony and misdemeanor changes. When he hasn’t been in prison, he’s been on probation.

He calls himself “a legend,” not because he’s a badass, but because he’s been on the street so long that everybody knows him.

That includes the cops and Department of Corrections officers, one of whom has tried so hard to turn Gerald around that he calls her his “surrogate mother.”

In recent months, officers began talking to Gerald about a new program targeting Belltown’s habitual offenders. Rather than cracking down with the force of the criminal-justice system, the program attempts to deal with the problems that got offenders committing crimes in the first place by offering intensive social services, such as drug and mental-health treatment, and help with housing and medical benefits. “Just try it,” they urged. But he brushed them off.

Then one day last fall, Gerald found himself near the DOC office downtown, getting high on a combination of heroin and crack. “Fuck, I’m tired,” he said to himself, a condition that may have had something to do with the fact that he “died twice,” as he puts it, after being stabbed in the heart while getting in the middle of a street fight last year. (He was revived by paramedics.)

Deciding to finally see what the program was about, he threw his crack pipe on the ground, walked into the DOC office, and announced “Let’s do this.”

Whether that program, called Law Enforcement Assisted Diversion (LEAD), can finally turn Gerald

10

Belltown beat cops Tom Burns (left) and Bob Besaw (right), authors of the list.

resolved to run criminal histories on the people they deal with daily in Belltown. They had various motivations, but as the two officers and their command staff discussed the idea, everybody agreed on a central question. As Assistant Chief Mike Sanford puts it: “Who are these people, anyway?”

Besaw and Burns started jotting down names off the top of their heads, adding more as they went about their beat patrols over the next few months. They looked up each in a database that records not only publicly available court charges, but every arrest and “contact.”

A “contact” is any kind of formal exchange between officers and a citizen, whether that person be a suspect, witness, or even a victim. It isn’t necessarily evidence of criminal behavior. But according to Burns and Besaw, the numbers attached to every name represent mainly arrests. And they were high. Very high.

“It shocked me, and I’ve been here for 30 years,” says West Precinct Captain Joe Kessler.

In a precinct alcove that serves as a computer room, Besaw and Burns go down the list, looking up the latest records on a few select individuals. One had 90 contacts as of the most recent viewing a few months ago; now he has 93. The drug dealer who started it all has 105. And the highest scorer of all, someone whose computer profile warns “caution: mental,” is up to 208.

Councilmember Tim Burgess called attention to the list in a manifesto released when he stepped down from the City Council’s public-safety committee in January. Police and prosecutors need to pay “special attention” to such “high-frequency offenders,” he wrote. Mayor Mike McGinn and his staff, on the other hand, repeatedly used the list to assert that the city couldn’t “arrest its way” out of crime problems, without explaining exactly what that meant.

Most interesting, however, was the reaction to the list from the department that drew it up.

The SPD is in the hot seat after a scathing federal Department of Justice report on its use of force, which

SPD’S SOFTER SIDE A troubled department, an equally troubled neighborhood, and an attempt at something new.

BY NINA SHAPIRO | PHOTOS BY KEVIN P. CASEY

around is a question of great interest to just about everyone with a stake in the city’s future. That’s not just because LEAD is a novel approach that gets cops to do something they’ve hardly ever done before—send offenders to treatment rather than jail. It’s also because Gerald, legend that he is, is on a special list: those whom the cops call Belltown’s “frequent fliers,” the people officers question and arrest most often.

The list was drawn up last summer by Belltown beat cops Bob Besaw and Tom Burns during a time when residents and business owners were—once again—up in arms over rampant open-air drug dealing. Somebody had talked to one of the dealers, gotten his name, and looked up his record, discovering dozens of prior cases.

“That got us thinking,” Besaw recalls. He and Burns

Added up, the list names 75 people responsible for some 4,500 contacts, including arrests for murder, rape, drug dealing, and scores of misdemeanors.

When word leaked out, everyone seemed to agree that Besaw and Burns’ list revealed something important about how crime was committed and combated in the city. But they didn’t agree on what to do with that new information, which is how the list also became one of Seattle’s most effective Rorschach tests.

Many Belltown residents saw it as further confirmation that the neighborhood was under siege. “It’s disgusting,” says Davina Dockter, a member of the family that owns and runs Federal Army & Navy Surplus on First Avenue. “Some people on the list have horrible criminal backgrounds.”

painted a picture of a hyperaggressive department trampling the rights of minorities and the mentally ill. Seemingly minor transgressions, like jaywalking or speeding, have blown up into confrontations that have seen officers punching, kicking, or hurling profanities at suspects. A series of dash-camera videos posted to YouTube and circulated by the press have made the public all too aware of these episodes.

Yet on a day-to-day level, as the SPD tries to figure out how to deal with its most perplexing crime problems, it reveals itself to be a far more complex department than those incidents might suggest. Indeed, at some levels, like in its attempt to turn around Belltown, it is embracing a surprisingly soft touch.

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 12

SATURDAY, APRIL 7, 2012 SEATTLE DESIGN CENTER SAMPLE DELECTABLE ARTISAN CHEESES BY 20 WASHINGTON CHEESEMAKERS ALSO FEATURING LOCALLY PRODUCED FINE BEER, WINE, CIDER & ARTISAN FOODS A BENEFIT FOR THE CASCADE HARVEST COALITION CASCADE H A RV E S T COALITION C A S C A D E H A RV E S T. O R G

WWW. W AS H I N G TON AR TI S AN C H EES E. C O M SPONSORS

tULALIP ReSoRt cASIno PReSentS

8Pm In the oRcA bALLRoom T U L A L I P R E S O R T. C O M

tIcKetS on SALe noW! $35 Starting at

At the north Rewards club and online at ticketmaster.c

om

Seatt le w eekly • M ARCH 28 - April 3, 2012

FRIDAY, APRIL 6

11

SPD’s Softer Side » FROM PAGE 10

O

C

M

Y

CM

MY

CY

CMY

Seattle weekly • M ARCH 28 - Apri l 3, 2012

K

12

ne day in the middle of January’s snowstorm, Assistant Chief Sanford walks into a foyer on the upper floor of the SPD’s downtown headquarters. Trim, gray-haired, and wearing an open-collared blue-checked shirt, Sanford has just finished watching a video of a recent scuffle between three off-duty officers and security guards outside a Capitol Hill bar.

Although he says he didn’t see anything particularly disturbing in the video, he also makes it clear that he thinks his officers should have just walked away, especially in light of the SPD’s current image problem.

“We don’t have the luxury of two or three years [to turn that around],” he says. “It strikes me we have two or three months.”

Sanford reportedly can be a demanding taskmaster. A comment he made at a meeting of sergeants last year, comparing officers who had been disciplined to wildebeests who don’t make it across the Serengeti, sparked an uproar in the ranks. Doctored pictures of the command staff standing next to dead wildebeests started to circulate, the notion being that the brass saw officers as disposable.

(Sanford says he was misinterpreted—that in fact he was making the point that “bad things sometimes happen to good people,” or wildebeests.)

Like a lot of SPD senior command, though, he’s a product of what modern police departments see as desirable training grounds: the wonky, freewheeling schools of criminology and public policy, where all kinds of professionals come together to pore over longitudinal studies and debate what’s best for society in dealing with criminals. In 2007, Sanford earned a master’s degree from the University of Washington’s Evans School of Public Affairs.

Sanford says he relished the “broader view” gained from that experience, and over the next several hours in a conference room, he grows expansive as he describes how he sees the Belltown list fitting into the bigger picture. “The genesis of this—I’ll say this for myself—is to look at things differently than we historically have,” he says.

In recent years, he elaborates, criminologists have made a couple of significant observations. One, thanks to the work of renowned George Mason University professor David Weisburd, who based his conclusions in part on a 16-year study he did in Seattle, is that cities have crime “hot spots”—micro-regions as small as half a block that collectively are responsible for an inordinate share of a city’s overall crime problem.

Weisburd found that a similar phenomenon applied to people: a small number cause a lot of crime. Now, Weisburd says, police departments like Seattle’s are finding an even smaller number of “hyper-rate offenders.”

The conventional police perspective would have officers put them in cuffs. Sanford, however, argues that that’s not the answer. “For many years, the primary tool police used was arrest, arrest, arrest.” He jumps up to a whiteboard and draws an arrow going up. In the mid’90s, as this approach was in full swing, the crime rate did start to drop. But then a funny thing happened. The arrest rate also started going down. Sanford draws a corresponding arrow. “Yet crime keeps going down,” he says.

So if, as he reasons, arrests aren’t the reason for the huge drop in the national crime

rate, what is? The question has caused lively debate in recent years, with people pointing to everything from rising abortion numbers to longer and longer prison sentences. Sanford, for his part, says “We need to know more.”

Whatever factors are at work, he sees a kind of reverse corollary in the Belltown list.

“We’ve arrested these people many, many times. Yet it has not made these people better—or Belltown safer. That’s not how we want to proceed going forward.” In this way, he agrees with the mayor.

But this logic also presents a challenge for the SPD, since it doesn’t know how it does want to proceed. “We’re still trying to feel our way,” Sanford says.

He says he wants to start by finding out a lot more about the people—“our clients”— whom the SPD deals with on a daily basis.

“What other city services do they use? How do they get their housing? Where do they stay during the daytime?” Also: Are they addicted to drugs? Do they have mental-health issues?

Where are their families?

Assistant Chief Sanford, one of a new breed of cop.

He says the SPD is trying to interest some academics, perhaps at George Mason or the University of Washington, in doing a thorough analysis. Part of the point would be to ask what these people need to stop committing crimes. “Can we look at these people as human beings first and foremost?” Sanford asks. Liberals, social-service agencies, and even other parts of the criminal-justice system may have asked this question for years, but for the SPD to do so—to adopt what Sanford calls a “non-police angle”—is new.

I

n May 2007, Gerald added to an already extensive rap sheet by pleading guilty to possession after selling a rock of crack to an undercover officer in Victor Steinbrueck Park. The prosecutor recommended a 16-month sentence, but a Superior Court judge offered Gerald a break. Instead of prison, he could go to a residential drugtreatment program in Spokane for three to six months. He lasted less than 24 hours.

What followed were five years of mostly self-inflicted wounds. At one point, offered treatment again while facing jail, Gerald says he made it 12 months clean and sober, gaining free housing in the bargain. But when he graduated from that program last February, it meant a return to the streets, and a return to a

life of dealing and using.

“I came back home,” he says, meaning Belltown. “This is what I know, right here.”

Surely many lessons can be learned from Gerald’s experience, but one of them would seem to back up a point made by Lisa Daugaard, deputy director of the publicdefense agency known as The Defender Association. When dealing with offenders, she contends, “Drug treatment by itself is not effective.” She maintains that other issues propel criminals back to the life they know, including homelessness and unemployment.

That is a central premise behind LEAD, which got off the ground in October, just in time to present itself as a potential solution for at least some on the Belltown list.

(Since LEAD is mainly intended for low-level offenders, it’s not a solution for all.)

The program has a lot of involved parties, including the King County Prosecutor’s office, which suggested Belltown for LEAD’s trial run. “If it can work in Belltown, it can work anywhere,” Daugaard recalls Prosecutor Dan Satterberg saying. But particularly noteworthy is the SPD’s unlikely yet vital role: rounding up participants. Often this occurs when officers arrest suspects and then offer LEAD as an alternative to facing charges.

Until recently, the idea of police doing such a thing was “a nonstarter,” Daugaard says.

She recalls a similar idea being shot down by a deputy of then–Chief Gil Kerlikowske at a City Council meeting five or six years ago.

But around that time, the SPD began looking for a way to combat the charge that it was enforcing drug laws in

“WE’VE ARRESTED THESE PEOPLE MANY, MANY TIMES. YET IT HAS NOT MADE THESE PEOPLE BETTER—OR BELLTOWN SAFER.” a selective way that put far more black people than white in jail. TDA was, in fact, pressing that point in court as it attempted to have a slew of cases dismissed.

Amid a break in the legal wrangling in 2005, the agency sat down with police, prosecutors, and officials from the mayor’s office to see if they could find any common ground.

They couldn’t, at least on the question of whether racial disparity in drug enforcement really did exist. But then, as Daugaard remembers it, Captain Steve Brown, then head of the SPD’s narcotics unit, asked: “What if we did something different?” That is, what if police handled drug arrests in a different way? Was there an alternative everyone could agree on?

Nobody had an answer right then, but TDA went away and came up with a proposal, based on successful programs in the UK, that was the genesis of LEAD.

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 15

Seatt le w eekly • M ARCH 28 - April 3, 2012

13

731 WESTLAKE AVE. N, SEATTLE • 206.223.0300 Join us for our

Family Friendly

Hoops Madness Party

Kids play in the game room for FREE and the parents can watch the tournament!

MARCH 13 - APRIL 2

New $5 Happy Hour Menu Monday through Friday 3 - 7pm

Queen Anne Lutheran Church

2400 8th Avenue West • 284-1960 • queenannelutheran.org April 5 Maundy Thursday

10:30 am 7:30 pm 9 am – 9 pm

April 6

10:30 am 7:30 pm

9 am – 9 pm

April 7

7:30 pm 9 am – 9 pm

Seattle weekly • M ARCH 28 - Apri l 3, 2012

April 8

14

8:00 am 9:00 am 10:30 am

Solemn Eucharist (Chapel) Solemn Eucharist and Footwashing *Stations of the Cross (Chapel)

Good Friday

Adoration of the Cross (Chapel) Good Friday Liturgy includes Requiem by Gabriel Faure with Chancel Choir and Chamber Orchestra *Stations of the Cross (Chapel)

Vigil of Easter

Holy Eucharist and Affirmation of Baptism *Stations of the Cross (Chapel)

Feast of the Resurrection

Festival Eucharist Easter Breakfast Festival Eucharist with Chancel Choir, Joyful Sound Choir, Trumpet, and Flute

*The Stations of the Cross devotion in the Chapel is self-guided.

SEATTLE WEEKLY is now available on

AMAZON’s KINDLE & KINDLE FIRE

Try it free for the first two weeks!

SPD’s Softer Side » FROM PAGE 12 It wasn’t the only soft approach the SPD would weigh over the next few years. There was tremendous buzz around a model designed

by New York criminologist David Kennedy, in which police around the country called criminals to staged interventions in which they faced not only law enforcement but family and community members too. Police would present the offenders with criminal cases they had laboriously built over the preceding year, and then offer an ultimatum: Turn your lives around and we’ll defer charges. Don’t, and we’ll come after you. The SPD eventually carried out versions of that model in the Central District (where it was dubbed the “drug-market initiative”) and, on a smaller scale, in Columbia City.

The LEAD proposal laid out an even softer method. Police would not threaten to come after criminals who reoffended. Instead, they would simply offer help, and in a more focused way: through a social-service agency specially designated for that purpose.

While many saw the drug-market initiative as successful, LEAD offered local law enforcement a way not only to get TDA off its back, but to save money in the process. No laborious case-building was necessary, and TDA eventually brought in nearly $1 million in private grants to help foot the bill.

Kerlikowske asked Captain Brown to work with TDA on exploring the idea, but it was current chief John Diaz who gave it the green light within the SPD—a not-insignificant fact, in Daugaard’s view. That’s because she sees a cultural shift brought by the leadership change.

A Gentleman's Club Just for Seattle

She also notes that the new chief put the widely respected Brown in charge of training. He’s gone on to ask for dash-camera tapes showing alleged problematic behavior by officers. “Nobody ever asked us for that before,” she says.

Then there’s the “progressive” bent, as Daugaard sees it, to the talk that is happening within the SPD about the Belltown list, as typified by Sanford. Yet not everybody within the SPD sees the list in the same way, which is obvious from a walk around Belltown with its best-known beat cops.

B

Ever the chatty one, Officer Burns talks to a “client” while Besaw looks on.

“I think more has been done in the last two years to attempt meaningful reform than at any time in the last 15 years,” she says—a startling vote of confidence from one of the SPD’s most persistent sparring partners. While other critics use the DOJ report to call for Diaz’s head, Daugaard sees it as a reflection of patterns established long before the chief took charge.

She looks instead at the way the SPD, under Diaz, changed its trespassing policy,

long attacked by TDA and others as unconstitutional. The old policy empowered officers to ban misbehaving individuals from a given property, even if they wanted to come back to do something harmless—say, buy a carton of milk from a store. Now officers ban only specific behavior—you can’t sleep under this doorway, for example. SPD commanders made the change voluntarily and enthusiastically, Daugaard says.

esaw and Burns share just about everything. They have the same build (burly) and age (middle).

They were best men at each other’s weddings, have been close since childhood when they both knocked around West Seattle’s Hiawatha Playfield, and also share similar views on crime and policing, although you’re much more likely to hear them expressed by Burns.

“I’ve been doing this for 23 years. He’s been doing it for 25. We are passionate,” Burns announces MORE when he introduces ONLINE himself at the West To see a slideshow of Officers Besaw and Precinct. Burns Burns on the beat in and Besaw have Belltown, log on to separately worked a SEATTLEWEEKLY.COM variety of beats during that time, but have come together in the past few years to work as partners in Belltown, which they usually patrol by bike.

p

»

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 16

DO AS WE SAY AND AS WE DO

Casual Attire Always Accepted.

We do.

8914 Lake City Way N.E. Seattle, WA Sun-Wed 1:00pm 2:30am Thu-Sat 11:am 2:30am 206-524-6003

No Cover After 2:00am Arrive Alive Seattle www.pandorascabaret.com Ladies, looking for a place you can call home?

Seatt le w eekly • M ARCH 28 - April 3, 2012

Pillow Talk Always Included In The Price of Admission

It’s simple. Creating art for video games is our day job, teaching you is our night job. Don’t you think learning from artists who actually work in the industry is a good idea?

15

SPD’s Softer Side » from Page 15

LUCKY

GREENHOUSE & LIGHT Join us in the Trophy Room for Happy Hour: Thursday Bartender Special 8-Close Fridays: 5-8pm

OPEN NOON TO CLOSE EVERY DAY!

COCKTAILS • TASTY HOT DOGS • LOTSA PINBALL

2222 2ND AVENUE • SEATTLE

206-441-5449

1000 W Grow Light Package Includes Ballast, Lamp & Reflector!

1000 Watt Digital Light Package Includes Ballast, Lamp & Upgraded Reflector!

206.682.8222

3323 3rd Ave S. Suite 100B Seattle, WA 98134

“Police are actually doing their job,” burns says. it’s Prosecutors and judges who aren’t.

The jokeman always zings twice WED, MAR 28 CROHNS COLITIS BENEFIT:

Seattle weekly • M ARCH 28 - Apri l 3, 2012

WITH

16

SUSAN JONES

THURS - SUN, MAR 29 - 31

RICK KUNKLER MON, APRIL 2 MONDAY MADNESS

OPEN MIC

Monday - Sunday 10am to 6pm Tuesday 10am to 7pm

WED, APRIL 4

JOHN GARDNER AND FRIENDS

109 S. Washington St. (at Occidental)

206.628.0303

WWW.COMEDYUNDERGROUND.COM

Today they’ve agreed to walk, after first making their way by car. “See that guy on the right,” Burns says as they approach First Avenue and Battery Street, where a man in a baggy jean jacket is staggering against a wall.

“I’ve arrested him a bunch of times.”

“Let’s go talk to him,” Besaw says.

“I need help,” says the man, slurring his words, after the officers have parked and walked over. “Medical detox.”

Besaw radios in a request while Burns asks, “Why don’t you sit down?”

The man declines, then suddenly starts shouting. “Are you going to shoot me? Are you going to fucking crack my head open?”

“You want us to drive you to detox?” Burns asks, seemingly calm as can be but moving in slightly (he later explains) to contain a possible punch.

“Nah,” says the man.

“How come you just said you did? We’ll take you up there right now.”

“You’re going to shoot me, like fucking John T.” The man, who appears to be Native American, is referring to John T. Williams, the Native American carver and chronic inebriate shot dead by an officer in August 2010.

They continue like this for several minutes until the man wanders off, telling the officers to “shoot my ass, man.”

This man is not on the list. But the encounter gets Burns riffing about the frustration officers feel in seeing the same people making the same mistakes over and over. Of the man’s familiarity with detox facilities, “What does that say about about the system?” Burns wants to know. To him, it says this: “Nobody

on

ever holds them accountable.” It’s a theme he will repeat again and again over the next four hours. He says he supports LEAD—indeed, he and Besaw take part in meetings that oversee its administration—but doesn’t believe it’s for everyone.

“Everybody makes mistakes,” he says. “But when they do it 100 times?”

The problem, as Burns sees it, and as Besaw, nodding along, apparently does too, has less to do with the needs of offenders and more to do with the inadequate way they’ve been punished. This doesn’t mean that they think police can arrest their way out of the problem. As Sanford does, they see the list as proving they cannot. But in their view, that’s because the rest of the criminal-justice system isn’t following through.

“Police are actually doing their job,” Burns says, citing all the arrests documented by the list. It’s prosecutors and judges, he says, whom the Belltown community should look to when wondering why these perpetual offenders still cause problems in the neighborhood—them, and social-service providers, according to the officers. “We’ve got 20 different social-service programs [in Belltown],” Burns says. “So we’re bringing people to this area that are not the most productive.”

And living in Belltown, with all its drug dealing, doesn’t help them either, Burns contends.

“See this guy,” says Besaw, now near the intersection of Second Avenue and Bell Street. The officer nods toward a glazed man with wild hair crossing the street who turns out to be the list leader—208 and counting—in contacts. “He’s a very scary guy.”

According to court records, that “very scary guy” had a burglary and a host of alcohol-related misdemeanors to his name when in 2000, walking barefoot and wearing a dirty trench coat, he approached a 75-yearold woman from behind as she walked in Queen Anne. He then rammed into her, sending her four feet in the air. When she fell, she struck her head on the pavement with an audible crack.

“I didn’t mean to do that,” he muttered as he wandered off, according to a police officer’s account. But as he made his way to Belltown, he proceeded to ram two other women—neither of whom were hurt as badly as the 75-year-old, who died the next day.

Admitted to Western State Hospital, where he had already been eight times in the preceding decade, he began talking to a psychologist about “Zeus” and “Aphrodite with the black beard.” Yet despite being diagnosed as schizophrenic, he was judged competent, pleaded guilty, and sentenced to 86 months.

More recently, Besaw says, this man was found in a Belltown dog park attempting to choke one of its four-legged inhabitants. “It just amazes me that they put him in a spot like this,” says the officer.

Besaw and Burns then head over to the “Blade,” as the Pike/Pine corridor is known by cops and drug dealers. The officers, despite their tough views, behave like town squires, greeting hustlers, ex-cons, and longtime street denizens with good-natured ribbing. When they spy a man in a wheelchair, Burns sneaks up on him. “What’s up?” the officer asks, grinning.

Only a few minutes earlier, Burns cited the man, “Ricky,” as an example of someone who desperately needs to be held accountable.

According to Burns, Ricky is a onetime gang member who committed murder in St. Louis, then came here to deal drugs and “run girls.”

At some point he got into an accident and lost a leg, but his escapades continue. The officers tell how he recently stabbed a man, thereby getting himself kicked out of the cushy high-rise apartment—with “a view” and “227 cable-TV channels”—that a nonprofit had kindly provided him. Now, they relate incredulously, he’s on a wait list for yet another subsidized apartment.

“Listen, knucklehead,” Burns tells Ricky, “you get caught high out here, you’re going to lose that housing.”

Ricky nods.

“What’s happening with that stabbing?”

Ricky smiles and gives a thumbs-up. “All good. No probation. No nothing.”

“A lot better than when you got caught in St. Louis,” Burns says. Ricky laughs.

His allegedly consequence-free stabbing would seem to be a perfect example of how the system doesn’t exact accountability, but Ian Goodhew, the King County prosecutor’s deputy chief of staff, offers another explanation. The victim, friendly with Ricky and not wanting to testify, insisted despite his wounds that he had not actually been stabbed.

Goodhew reveals something else about Ricky, confirmed by court records and the FBI’s national database of crime: According to all those sources, Ricky never did commit a

murder in St. Louis, but an aggravated assault in Ohio, for which he served six months in jail.

“Folks on the street often puff up their criminal record,” Goodhew says, offering a possible explanation for how Burns and Besaw (and others on the force, according to police reports) came to believe Ricky was a murderer. Yet Goodhew, aware that “murder” sits by Ricky’s name on the list, now wonders: “How many other data points are not accurate?”

It’s a reminder that the list is a rough and evolving document, still to be thoroughly fact-checked and analyzed, still raising more questions than answers.

A

couple of months after enrolling in LEAD, one of five people on the Belltown list to do so, Gerald walks from the program’s Belltown office to a nearby Starbucks. Wearing a puffy black jacket over a grey hoodie, he lopes from side to side and talks a blue streak. Like a Chamber of Commerce guide, he gives a rundown on Seattle’s growth in

recent years and the diversified economy brought by Amazon, Microsoft, and the like.

Reaching Starbucks, he asks for “something with caramel,” and turns to his attempt to start a new life.

He says it’s working, gradually. “I just needed somebody to say ‘This is real. You’re not here to shuck and jive.’ ” He describes his LEAD caseworker, Tina Walker, as that person. “She know how it is,” he says.

That’s because the 62-year-old Walker is a former addict herself. Crack, heroin, alcohol— she used it all, until she found herself homeless and unemployed. “I was 46 years old when I went back to treatment for the third time,” she says. It was the time that stuck.

Walker knows firsthand that “People are not always ready when they think they are.”

When Gerald disappeared for a couple of weeks, missing his appointments with her, she told him he was messing up his life, but added: “We can always start over.”

Gerald took her up on it. She got him an ID and food stamps, and applied for disability benefits (citing mental-health problems) and

subsidized Section 8 housing on his behalf. “I want a roof over my head,” he says. “I want my own refrigerator. I want to watch TV and walk around the place buck-naked.”

As of this morning, though, Gerald is still homeless. He woke up in Denny Park. Then, he admits, he had his morning fix of heroin, meaning he is high as he speaks. “I don’t consume as much as I used to,” he says. But he still consumes.

Likewise, he says he’s cutting back on the “hustling,” but hasn’t stopped yet. “I ain’t going to lie to you,” he says. At one point, asked for his phone number, he takes out two of his many phones: “one for drug money, one for ho money,” he explains. (He says he’s not a pimp, but maintains a separate line for selling drugs to prostitutes.)

But Walker sees hope. Since Gerald got back on track, he has been coming to see her at least four times a week of his own volition, just to check in. “He’s motivated,” she says. After jumping through the necessary hoops, she got him signed up for a methadone-treatment program to deal with his heroin addiction.

Once he gets a free daily dose of methadone, she reasons, he won’t need to hustle.

“I still need to help him address his crack addiction,” she says. “I’m thinking maybe an outpatient treatment program.”

A couple of weeks later, Gerald answers his “drug money” phone. He’s on the bus, he explains, coming back from his very first session of methadone treatment. It went “pretty good,” he says, and the SoDo clinic had also offered him a weekly class that would teach him about his addiction.

He had spent the night before at an Aurora Avenue motel that Walker had brought him to. “She dropped me off at 2 o’clock and I didn’t leave ’til she came and picked me up and brought me down here [to the methadone clinic],” he says. He was expecting his Section 8 housing to come through any day now.

“Everything will come together,” he says.

Does he really think he can stick with his daily treatments and kick the heroin habit this time?

“I have to,” he says. E nshapiro@seattleweekly.com

Eastern Washington University’s 14th Annual

Get Lit! Festival

April 10-15, 2012 • Spokane, WA Readings • Workshops • Poetry slams and more!

Mention Get Lit! for a festival rate starting at $99 at the Red Lion Hotel at the Park.

Tickets may be purchased from Ticketswest at 1-800-325-SEAT or at www.ticketswest.com.

www.ewu.edu/getlit

20

% LEATHER UPHOLSTERY OFF

NOW THROUGH THE END OF APRIL *Some Exceptions Apply

Survivors of a traumatic event may suffer distressing memories, feeling numb, fear, depression and other symptoms for years afterward Confidential help is available

If you are 18 years old or older, you may be eligible for a research study on treatment of psychological reactions following trauma. It Includes: • A thorough, no-cost evaluation • 10 weeks of counseling or counseling plus medication • 9 months of follow-up assessments • Up to $300 in compensation

Call Ellen at (206) 685-3617 UW Center for Anxiety and Traumatic Stress

ALCHEMY COLLECTIONS MODERN FURNITURE STORE

2029 2ND AVENUE SEATTLE, WA 98121

206.448.3309

INFO@ALCHEMYCOLLECTIONS.COM

Seatt le w eekly • M ARCH 28 - April 3, 2012

Have you been...

Raped or Attacked?

In an Accident or Combat?

17

Don’t miss djs

spinning live in the theaster Gates Gallery at SaM

Seattle weekly • M ARCH 28 - Apri l 3, 2012

oC notEs

18

SunDaY, apr 1 · 10 am tO 5 Pm

DJ suprEmE LaroCk & DJ1ooprooF tHurSDaY, apr 5 · 10 am tO midniGht

THEASTER Gates the listeninG rOOm EXHIBITION ON VIEW THRU JULY 1, 2012 Theaster Gates.

Photo: Lloyd De Grane/University of Chicago Magazine.

Theaster Gates’ work explores the ways history, place and performance intersect.

Incorporating a vast array of disciplines, Gates’ art installation transforms a gallery with a collection of vinyl records, fire hose and other objects that reflect cultural, social, and political currents of the 60s, 70s and 80s.

Gates is a recipient of the Seattle Art Museum’s Gwendolyn Knight /Jacob Lawrence Fellowship.

Funding for the fellowship and exhibition is provided by the Gwendolyn Knight and Jacob Lawrence Endowment.

This exhibition is organized by the Seattle Art Museum.

Generous support provided by Bill and Ruth True and the University of Washington College of Built Environments.

Additional support provided by contributors to the Annual Fund.

SeattleartMuSeuM.OrG/tHeaSter

the»weekly»wire FILM

Over and Over the Line

It’s got its own festival, action figures, costume contests, and about 20 different flavors of DVD box sets. It defines Jeff Bridges even more than his Oscar for Crazy Heart. It has rabid fans who know every line, which is the entire point of this evening’s special quotealong screening. We are talking, of course, about the Coen brothers’ cult comedy The Big Lebowski, the 1998 stoner noir that sends the amiable Dude on an endlessly quotable quest to recover his stolen rug, restore some decency to an overly stressed-out world, and go bowling. Everyone has their favorite line, from the Dude’s “nice marmot” to the “world of pain” promised by the raging Walter Sobchak (John Goodman) to the nihilists’ “We believe in nothing!” But even if you can’t recite the script from memory, the full text will be projected as subtitles, so you can shout along. Yes, there will be a costume contest, trivia, and silly props (but no White Russians in the theater, please). And finally, the former Seattle radical-turned-film producer Jeff Dowd, the original Dude, will be on hand to discuss the beloved movie he helped inspire. (Additionally, $50 gets you into a preshow 21-and-over bowling party/happy hour at Garage on Capitol Hill.) SIFF Cinema at the Uptown, 511 Queen Anne Ave. N., 324-9996, siff.net. $7–$12. 8:30 p.m. BRIAN MILLER

thurs/3/29 DANCE

Mark Haim combines the tricky, patternoriented puzzles of postmodern dance with

COMEDY

Lost in the Stars

I’ve been going through Eugene Mirman withdrawal since FOX’s Bob’s Burgers, on which Mirman voices child keyboard prodigy Gene Belcher, went on hiatus. Luckily, there’s Mirman’s Twitter feed (“If Romney just made an ad of himself in his bedroom singing ‘Sweet Child o’ Mine’ in his underwear, then voters would finally connect with him”) and the traveling all-star Eugene

*

VIEWASKEW.COM

WORKING IT

Smith is working harder than ever.

Mirman Comedy Festival. The Brooklyn fest

was initially started as a joke, but with the help of his funny friends, it’s now in its fifth successful year. Here’s how it’ll all go down: Tonight at the Croc, Mirman and Bobby Tisdale will co-host their wildly popular standup show “Invite Them Up.” Friday at the Neptune, he’ll postulate on UFO sightings and alien invasions with celebrity astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson and acclaimed laugh-physicists Kristen Schaal and Paul F. Tompkins (this for a taping of the StarTalk Radio podcast). If your sides are still intact, the festival wraps up with two shows at both venues on Saturday (times are staggered, so you can hit both). The Croc features This American Life’s Tacoma-born Elna Baker, and the Neptune lineup includes the raucous latenight veteran Bobcat Goldthwait. But as any fan knows from Mirman’s Bumbershoot appearances, the roster always changes with drop-by guests. The Crocodile, 2200 Second Ave., 877-784-4849, stgpresents.org. $23.

8 p.m. ERIN K. THOMPSON

SUN: BOOKS/NERDS

Running Friday through today, the always festive Emerald City Comicon annually draws a cheerful, nerdy throng of sci-fi and comic-book enthusiasts, often dressed in colorful costumes. Somehow their arrival, like so many brighthued migratory superheroes, marks the beginning of spring. Then there’s the rather darker sensibility of Kevin Smith, who appears tonight with his old Clerks cohort, Jason Mewes. The duo are touring and recording their Jay & Silent Bob Get Old podcast; indeed, Smith appears to be going through a midlife crisis.

He had a very public falling-out with the producers of his violent, underrated satire Red State last year and finally self-released the movie, a great way to go bankrupt. Yet he survived, announced he’ll retire from filmmaking after a planned hockey movie (Hit Somebody), and just wrote a new book, Tough Shit: Life Advice From a Fat, Lazy Slob Who Did Good. But we don’t get the title— with his constant tweeting, podcasting, and stage appearances, the 41-year-old is anything but lazy. Washington State Convention Center (Room 4A), emerald citycomicon.com. $40–$85. 7 p.m. BRIAN MILLER

fri/3/30 FILM

Still Leading

It’s possible that George Clooney is today, for younger viewers, the Hollywood equivalent of Cary Grant (1904–1986). And it’s possible that some millennial and Gen-Y filmgoers have never even seen Grant’s movies. But because he retired early and still handsome, kept his private life scrupulously guarded, and gracefully expired without scandal, Grant retains an aura that stars of the TMZ era will never attain. His whole image was perfected and protected by the studios. And before the former Archibald Leach reached America, he had shed his lower-class British accent and begun to develop a poshly assured persona that owed much—he would later admit—to Noel Coward.

Yet, crucially, he undercut his good looks and tailored image with humor. An erstwhile circus performer, he was no snob, and he knew how to do a double-take or pratfall (Chaplin was another formative influence). You can see all these traits in the GI’s four-film salute to Grant, which begins tonight with Howard Hawks’ 1938 screwball comedy Bringing Up Baby, which pits Grant’s meek paleontologist against Katharine Hepburn’s overbearing heiress. That they’re two of the most beautiful people on the planet, plainly meant to fall in love, matters not a whit. Grant cowers behind his specs at the sight of her, fumbles his fossils, flees from her pet leopard, and does everything possible to pretend he’s not Cary Grant. And all the while, of course, we’re laughing at the ruse. Also note: Running Sat.–Thurs. is the classic newspaper farce His Girl Friday; weeklong engagements follow for North by Northwest (April 6) and Charade (April 13). Grand Illusion, 1403 N.E. 50th St., 523-3935, grandillusioncinema.org. $5–$8. 7 & 9 p.m. (Repeats Sun.) BRIAN MILLER

Seatt le w eekly • M ARCH 28 - April 3, 2012

Undress and Assault

Haim and company prepare to arm themselves at OtB.

TIM SUMMERS

wed/3/28

images from older, more traditional dance forms. Then he adds non sequitur bits of everyday life, so that a reference to Nijinsky sits next to a turntable and a series of indecipherable hand gestures. The results are always more than a sum of the parts, simultaneously heartbreaking and hilarious. For his new show at OtB, he’s extending his 2010 This Land Is Your Land, an oddball parade of characters who shed their clothes as they accumulate weaponry. Their repetitive walking patterns makes predicting the changes in their props into a game—we’re pleased and a bit nauseated when we guess right about the assault rifles. Also on the bill, Haim is debuting The Time (with music

by Louis Andriessen and designs by Etta Lilienthal and Ben Zamora), which is supposed to be as complex as This Land is straightforward. (Through Sun.) On the Boards, 100 W. Roy St., 217-9888, ontheboards. org. $20. 8 p.m. SANDRA KURTZ

19

arts»Opening Nights P Freud’s Last Session

TAPROOT THEATRE, 204 N. 85TH ST., 781-9707, TAPROOTTHEATRE.ORG. $15– $37. 7:30 P.M. WED.–THURS., 8 P.M. FRI., 2 & 8 P.M. SAT. ENDS APRIL 21.

Seattle weekly • M ARCH 28 - Apri l 3, 2012

ABIEL HOFF

Imagined encounters between famous historical figures are a popular gimmick for playwrights both serious (Michael Frayn’s Copenhagen, about Bohr, Heisenberg, and the building of the bomb) and not (Nora Ephron’s Imaginary Friends, in which Mary McCarthy and Lillian Hellman catfight in hell). Mark St. Germain’s Freud’s Last Session lands somewhere in between, delivering a lumpy mix of theological debate and tentative camaraderie.

It’s September 1939, and England has just declared war on Germany.

Inside his London refuge (nicely dressed by Mark Lund), Sigmund Freud (Nolan Palmer) has invited rising young Christian intellectual C.S. Lewis (Matt Shimkus) to tea.

The dying Freud is an atheist with an urgent agenda to settle the God issue, which somewhat forcibly leads to philosophical scrimmaging. Freud is a tough protagonist to warm to: He laughs like a barking seal, reeks of decaying flesh, and heaps ghastly nursing responsibilities on his unseen daughter. Wearing a bearded poker face for much of the talky play, Palmer plausibly incarnates a doctor whose habitual blank-screen demeanor—maintained for his patients’ projections—is now leaking witty bits of id. Shimkus’ Lewis, healthy and glib, has far less skin in the debate; he’s more like an athlete on God’s team who just enjoys sparring. Still, it’s cartoonish fun to watch him hoist his fallen jaw after some of Freud’s more outlandish pronouncements.

In this two-man verbal contest, director Scott Nolte has his combatants perambulate, recline on the couch, and rearrange the props—anything to animate the text. But mainly he simply has his actors talk relentlessly. (For punctuation, we have Freud’s lifethreatening choking fits.) As a play, it doesn’t really work for me. As an inventory of arguments laced with character-revealing humor, however, Freud’s Last Session succeeds. And there’s a satisfying emotional coda, when the psychoanalyst who refuses morphine for his pain—because “I have to think clearly”— finally lets go of his mind. MARGARET FRIEDMAN

20

P Stuck

WASHINGTON ENSEMBLE THEATRE, 608 19TH AVE. E., 325-5105, WASHINGTONENSEMBLE.ORG. $10– $25. 7:30 P.M. THURS.–MON. ENDS APRIL 9.

Ennui’s a bitch in Jessica Hatlo’s new play. Its central conceit—based on actual events—is a heroine so terrified of real life that she retreats to the squalid familiarity of the bathroom in the apartment she shares with her boyfriend.

In the hands of WET’s top-notch performers and tech crew, Stuck is more than a cautionary tale of slackerdom: It’s a modern horror story.

Amy and Danny (Kay Nahm and Alex Matthews) have stripped down their lives to the essentials of pizza, soda, and 24-hour cable TV, with Amy unwilling (and finally

Matthews and Nahm amid the mess in Stuck.

unable) to leave her perch on the toilet. She is a case study in retreat, courageous enough only to bully her boyfriend and pontificate from the pot. Forget about opening the bills or communicating with her alarmed kinfolk.

Danny, on the other hand, is a fellow who just might make something of himself one day—if only he weren’t shackled to Amy by guilt and a prodigious talent for enabling.

Since she won’t surrender her seat on the throne, he uses the shower or corner convenience store. At one critical moment, we watch him employ a paper bag. Never underestimate the distance to which a man will stoop to accommodate the woman he loves.

And yet he’s tempted to stray by a flirtatious snoop of a landlady (Jill Snyder-Marr), who sees more in Danny than he does in himself.

Hatlo enlivens the icky claustrophobia with visits from a succession of spectral advisors (all played by Chris Maslen and Qadriyyah Shabazz) straight out of Amy’s imagination and TV Guide. Howie Mandel, Dr. Phil, Oprah, and others try to talk her down from the porcelain tree. When she sings a forlorn melody, Simon Cowell and Randy Jackson give her the bad news that no one buys her pity-party routine.

So what is the point here? Everyone has a “stuck” place in their lives, Hatlo implies.

It’s a place where we hate to look, where resentments and broken dreams are stacking up, where we simply observe their accumulation in mute despair. What Hatlo has written is amplified tenfold through Sarah E.R. Grosman’s direction and a well-conceived lighting scheme that squeezes the tiny apartment into a smaller space with each scene.

After the show, Amy’s plight has spread like contagion, and Hatlo’s central question will nag you: What growing pile of crap you won’t deal with are you sitting on? KEVIN PHINNEY E stage@seattleweeekly.com

Seatt le w eekly • M ARCH 28 - April 3, 2012

21

arts»Performance

BY GAVIN BORCHERT

April 20 – May 20

Stage OPENINGS & EVENTS

BACK BACK BACK Itamar Moses’ play about the baseball

by Lee Hall

Inspired by a book by William Feaver Directed by Kurt Beattie

Mining was their way of life. Painting transformed how they saw it.

steroid scandal. Seattle Public Theater at the Bathhouse, 7312 W. Green Lake Ave. N., 524-1300, seattlepublic theater.org. $15–$29. Preview March 29, opens March 30. 7:30 p.m. Thurs.–Sat., 2 p.m. Sun. Ends April 22.

FIRST DATE The premiere of a musical “about one date, two people, and all the voices in their heads” officially opens March 29. ACT Theatre, 700 Union St., 292-7676. $15–$69. Runs Tues.–Sun.; see acttheatre.org for exact schedule. Ends May 20.

A FOOL’S PARADISE Stories and songs from humorist Kevin Kling and singer/accordionist Simone Perrin.

Seattle Repertory Theatre, Seattle Center, 443-2222, seattlerep.org. $12–$75.

7:30 p.m. Sat., March 31, 2 p.m. Sun., April 1.

EUGENE MIRMAN COMEDY FESTIVAL SEE

THE WIRE, PAGE 19.

OR, Liz Duffy Adams’

Restoration-set comedy about bold playwright/secret agent Aphra Behn. Seattle Repertory Theatre, Seattle Center, T H I S CO D E 443-2222. $12–$59. Opens TO DOWNLOAD THE FREE March 28. Runs 7:30 p.m.

SEATTLE WEEKLY Wed.–Sun. plus some matiIPHONE/ANDROID APP nees; see seattlerep.org for FOR MORE EVENTS OR VISIT exact schedule. Ends April 22. seattleweekly.com PAPER HOUSES Garage duo Pony Time provides the soundtrack for this comedy about a billboard battle.

Annex Theatre, 1100 E. Pike St., 728-0933, annextheatre. org. $20. 8 p.m. Wed., March 28–Sat., March 31.

SCAN

Huge Hit in London and on Broadway First Date: A New Musical Now – May 20 Selling Fast

A Co-production with the 5th Avenue Theatre.

22

Staged screenplay readings from FilmSchool alumni. This month, Grace O’Malley by Susan O’Malley Wade.

Construction Zone April 30

This month features When January Feels Like Summer, a new play by Cori Thomas.

The Twilight Zone: Live!

April 6 – 28

Three episodes from Rod Serling’s iconic television series brought to life by Theater Schmeater. In color!

See it all with an ACTPass! acttheatre.org | 206.292.7676 700 Union Street, Downtown Seattle

MONTGOMERY

with an array of drop-by musicians, visiting comics, skits, and animation. Annex Theatre, 1100 E. Pike St., 728-0933, annextheatre.org. $10. 7:30 p.m. Sun., April 1.

A SHORT-TERM SOLUTION TO A LONG-TERM PROBLEM An earlier run of Stranger scribe David

Schmader’s solo show sold out, so here’s a revival.

Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave., 322-7030. Runs Fri.– Sat.; see hugohouse.org for exact schedule. Ends April 14.

SOUTH PACIFIC Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Polynesia-set classic. Kirkland Performance Center, 350 Kirkland Ave., Kirkland, 425-893-9900, kpcenter.org, lyriclightopera.org. $35–$37. 7:30 p.m. Fri.–Sat., 2 p.m. Sun. Ends April 1.

STUCK SEE REVIEW, PAGE 20.

TEATRO ZINZANNI: CALIENTE! Mexico meets Moulin Rouge!. Leading the 3.5-hour spectacle are Tres (Christine Deaver) and Cinco (Robert Lopez), an overeager sister/brother act who sing, dance, and harass the audience. ERIKA HOBART Teatro ZinZanni, 222 Mercer St., 802-0015. $76 and up. Runs Wed.–Sun.; see zinzanni.org for exact schedule. Ends June 10.

THE TEMPEST Shakespeare in outer space, presented by Stone Soup’s Youth Conservatory. Stone Soup Theatre, 4035 Stone Way N.E., 633-1883, stonesouptheatre.org. $16. 7:30 p.m. Fri., 2 p.m. Sat.–Sun. Ends April 1.

TORSO Personal grief and a shocking crime color Keri Healey’s play. Theater Off Jackson, 409 Seventh Ave. S., 800-838-3006, printersdevil.org. $15–$18. 8 p.m. Thurs.– Sat. Ends March 31.

• •

Dance

HOPE MOHR DANCE Solo and ensemble works by Mohr

•

CURRENT RUNS

DINA MARTINA: AMPLE WATTAGE! An all-new show

from the supreme mistress of entretainment. Re-bar, 1114 Howell St., 800-838-3006. $20. 8 p.m. (most) Fri.–Sat., 2 p.m. (some) Sun.; see brownpapertickets.com for exact schedule. Ends April 22.

THE DROWSY CHAPERONE The musical about people who love musicals. Studio East, 11730 118th Ave. N.E., #100, Kirkland, 425-820-1800, studio-east.org. $12–$14.

7:30 p.m. Fri., 2:30 & 7:30 p.m. Sat. Ends March 31.

EMERALD CITY S.P. Miskowski’s ambitious new play takes an outsider’s perspective on emotionally chilly Seattle, packing in more laughs than an entire sitcom season, but it’s also achingly sad. With so many inside jokes and spot-on insights, it’s a jewel we can call our own.

KEVIN PHINNEY West of Lenin, 203 N. 36th St., 800-8383006, lgtheater.org. $5–$18. 8 p.m. Fri.–Sat. Ends April 7.

FREUD’S LAST SESSION SEE REVIEW, PAGE 20.

HAPPY DAYS A terrific production of one of Samuel Beckett’s most accessible plays. Chatty Winnie (Mary Ewald) is buried to her navel in a giant sand mound.

Nearby, her husband Willie (Seanjohn Walsh) takes refuge from her tidal yappings in a sand hole, yet shines within these constraints. Throughout the 90-minute two-act, I was as restless as I’ve ever felt in a theater seat. Just as Beckett would have wanted. MARGARET FRIEDMAN New City Theater, 1404 18th Ave., 271-4430, newcitytheater.org. $15 Thurs., $20 Fri.–Sat. 8 p.m.

Thurs.–Sat. Ends April 7.

IT SHOULDA BEEN YOU Brian Hargrove and Barbara Anselmi’s comedy about a chaotic Jewish/Catholic wedding. Village Theatre, 303 Front St. N., Issaquah, 425-392-2202, villagetheatre.org. $22–$62. Runs Wed.– Sat. plus some Tues. & Sun. evenings. Ends April 22.

LARK EDEN Natalie Symons’ play about an epistolary friendship among three women. Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave., 324-5801, schmeater.org. $10–$23.

8 p.m. Thurs.–Sat. (except March 31). Ends April 14.

MOISTURE FESTIVAL The clowns, aerialists, mimes, and musicians performing in four venues, through April 8,

•

• •

•

Send events to stage@seattleweekly.com, dance@seattleweekly.com, or classical@seattleweekly.com See seattleweekly.com for full listings. = Recommended

•

•

and her San Francisco–based company. Velocity Dance Center, 1621 12th Ave., 800-838-3006, hopemohr.org. $15.

8 p.m. Thurs., March 29–Fri., March 30.

BALANCHINE THEN AND NOW George Balanchine was unrelenting in editing his choreography, stripping away whatever he felt was fussy and extraneous about classical ballet, and former PNB co-director Francia Russell and current artistic director Peter Boal know multiple versions of many Balanchine classics. In a lecture-demo, “Balanchine Then and Now,” the two will illustrate some of those refinements, using company dancers. Expect to see a few steps from Balanchine’s Apollo, which opens April 13 in a double bill with Carmina Burana. SANDRA KURTZ Phelps Center, Seattle Center, 441-2424, pnb.org. $20. 5:30 p.m. Mon., April 2.

MARK HAIM: X2 SEE THE WIRE, PAGE 19.

Classical, Etc. IAN BELL/JOHN TESKE QUINTET An EP-release per-

formance from this string group. Gallery 1412, 1412 18th Ave. E., ianbellandjohnteske.bandcamp.com. $5–$15.

8 p.m. Thurs., March 29.

ANTON BATAGOV This Russian pianist plays Glass and Debussy Thurs., his own works Fri., and Bach Sat. Chapel Performance Space, 4649 Sunnyside Ave. N., waywardmusic.blogspot.com. $10–$15 each, $25–$35 for all three. 7:30 p.m. Thurs., March 29–Sat., March 31.

COUNT BASIE ORCHESTRA SEE SHORT LIST, PAGE 36.

CORIGLIANO QUARTET On Friday, pieces by Cornish students; on Saturday, music by Beethoven and their namesake, John Corigliano. Cornish College/PONCHO Concert Hall, 710 E. Roy St., cornish.edu, 726-5066. $10–$20. Noon, Fri., March 30; 8 p.m. Sat., March 31.

STABAT MATER Boccherini’s setting of the hymn of Mary’s grief. St. Joseph’s Catholic Church, 732 18th Ave. E., stjosephparish.org. Free. 7 p.m. Fri., March 30.

DON PASQUALE SEE EAR SUPPLY BELOW. PACIFIC MUSICWORKS Presenting Handel’s The Triumph of Time, the 22-year-old composer’s first dramatic work. Countertenor Lawrence Zazzo leads the cast of soloists. Daniels Recital Hall, 811 Fifth Ave., pacificmusic works.org. $20–$40. 8 p.m. Fri., March 30–Sat., March 31.

SEATTLE CHORAL COMPANY Brahms, Bruckner, and Mendelssohn. Saint Mark’s Episcopal Cathedral, 1245 Tenth Ave. E., 323-0300, seattlechoralcompany.org. $10–$25. 8 p.m. Fri., March 30, 2 p.m. Sat., March 31.

•

• •

SEATTLE MEN’S CHORUS/WOMEN’S CHORUS

•

Combining for a free kids’ concert. McCaw Hall, Seattle Center, flyinghouse.org. Free 2 p.m. Sat., March 31.

MUSIC NORTHWEST Debussy’s chamber music—the Cello Sonata and more. Olympic Recital Hall, S. Seattle Community College, 6000 16th Ave. S.W., 937-2899, musicnorthwest.org. $16–$18. 7:30 p.m. Sat., March 31.

CHAMBER ORCHESTRA • SEATTLE METROPOLITAN Chamber Symphony, plus Barber

John Adams’ knotty and Copland. Benaroya Recital Hall, Third Ave. and Union St. $10–$15. 8 p.m. Sat., March 31.

SEATTLE MEN’S CHORUS Music by the Beatles.

McCaw Hall, Seattle Center, seattlemenschorus.org. $20–$65. 8 p.m. Sat., March 31, 2 p.m. Sun., April 1.

THALIA SYMPHONY Opera excerpts, in tribute to musician/patron Frances Walton. Town Hall, 1119 Eighth Ave., thaliasymphony.org. $15–$20. 2 p.m. Sun., April 1.

•

ORCHESTRA SEATTLE/SEATTLE CHAMBER SINGERS Bach’s Easter Oratorio for Palm Sunday. First

•

Free Methodist Church, 3200 Third Ave. W., 281-2048, osscs.org. $10–$20. 3 p.m. Sun., April 1.

THE FISHER ENSEMBLE A performance on a restored klavihorn, invented in 1895 but silent for 75 years. Sounds intriguing, but note the date. The Project Room, 1315 E. Pine St., fisherensemble.org. Free. 5 p.m. Sun., April 1.

EarSupply

» by gavin borchert

Split Personality

Plenty of operatic soprano roles provide opportunities for scenery-chewing mood swings, but none go quite so Three Faces of Eve as Norina in Donizetti’s Don Pasquale. Ernesto loves her, but is forbidden to marry her by his uncle the Don. So Norina is persuaded to pose as the sweet, shy “Sofronia,” and the Don marries her himself—at which point she turns into an untamed shrew.

Designed for up-and-coming singers as eager to perfect their theatrical skills as their vocal ones, the Seattle Opera Young Artists Program has chosen Don Pasquale for its annual spring production. If ever you’ll find a soprano who’ll sink her teeth into the challenge of playing three characters in one role, it’ll be here.

Amanda Opuszynski and Lindsay Russell trade off as Norina, two performances each. Meany Hall, UW campus, 389-7676, seattleopera.org. $20–$55. 7:30 p.m. Sat., March 31, Fri., April 6, Sat., April 7; 2 p.m. Sun., April 1.

ALAN ALABASTRO

Seattle weekly • M ARCH 28 - Apri l 3, 2012

TheFilmSchool April 2

WITH EMMETT • WEIRD AND AWESOME The titular emcee shares the stage

include Kevin Joyce, NYC’s Bindlestiff Family Cirkus, Lily Verlaine, any number of Circus Contraption alumni, and tons more. 800-838-3006, moisturefestival.org. $10–$25.

THE RISE AND FALL OF LITTLE VOICE Jim Cartwright’s 1992 play is rarely staged, partly because it demands a young actress capable of imitating an array of songstresses. But this production has an exceptional talent in Myrna Conn, whose energetic mid-show medley is the highlight. BRENT ARONOWITZ ArtsWest, 4711 California Ave. S.W., 938-0339, artswest.org. $10–$34.50. 7:30 p.m.

Wed.–Sat., 3 p.m. Sun. Ends March 31.

Soprano-whipped: Opuszynski tells Michael Uloth, as the Don, what’s what.

EarSHoT Jazz prESEnTS

SiErra MaESTra Direct from Cuba recalling the golden age of authentic son

photo by Brad Madjeski

Saturday, March 31 Town Hall Seattle

8 pm 1119 Eighth Avenue, Seattle

Ear SHoT Jazz p: 206.547.6763 w: www.earshot.org

Tickets available through www.brownpapertickets.com / 1-800-838-3006 Yes, there will be a dance floor. More information at www.earshot.org / 206-547-6763

Seatt le w eekly • M ARCH 28 - April 3, 2012

23

arts»Visual Arts

BY KAT CHOW

Openings & Events BEST OF THE NORTHWEST More than 100 local artists

and craft makers display and vend their wares at this annual event. Food, music, and children’s events are also offered. Magnuson Park, 7400 Sand Point Way N.E., nwartalliance.com. $5–$7. March 30–April 1.

DUPED! Nine pairs of local artists show new collaborative works in clay. Note NCECA reception, 6 p.m. Wed., March 28. The Piranha Shop, 1022 First Ave. S. Through March 31, 10 a.m.–6 p.m.

JACOB FORAN His Mindscapes includes large nautical pieces like a 20-foot submarine. Note NCECA reception, 6–8 p.m. Fri., March 30. Seattle Design Center,

60 Classes & Workshops for Artists of All Levels this Spring

Send events to visualarts@seattleweekly.com See seattleweekly.com for full listings = Recommended

•

TheFussyeye » by brian miller Margaret Davidson

Michael Grimaldi

24

on Capitol Hill

Go Climb Salt Mountain

When a group show promises to “explore the healing power of art,” I visit with clenched fists. Hey, you oil painters and interpretive dancers, come sit with me at the bedside of my slowly succumbing mother during chemotherapy. Why don’t you make some art about it? That would be really helpful.

I’m sure it would make a big difference. Art, like a funeral, is for the living. It’s a way to talk about the dying and afflicted—for our benefit, not theirs. In and of itself, it heals nothing. You could push 100 terminal cases in their wheelchairs through Making Mends, and none would be saved. It’s magical

thinking, like the faith healing in a church. Still, despite the exhibit’s flawed premise, the art ain’t all bad. (Fifteen artists are represented.)

And I particularly wish I’d stopped by BAM at the beginning of the month, when Motoi Yamamoto spent four days painstakingly pouring salt onto the floor—using a few 50-pound sacks, by the look of it—to create his intricate, delicate Labyrinth, which snakes like a glacier up to a miniature mountain range.

In Japan, of course, salt is ritually flung at funerals as a gesture of purification. Also, the snow of this mountainous diorama suggests a pure, untrampled state—like some imaginary Everest that will never be climbed. And when the show ends, everything will be swept away, like the scattered ashes of the dead. Bellevue Arts Museum, 510 Bellevue Way N.E., 425-5190770, bellevuearts.org. $7–$10. 11 a.m.–5 p.m.

Tues.–Sun. (open Fri. to 8 p.m.). Ends May 27.

MOTOI YAMAMOTO/BAM

Seattle weekly • M ARCH 28 - Apri l 3, 2012

Classes Begin April 9!

Register online @ www.GageAcademy.org

Michael Magrath

5701 Sixth Ave. S., seattledesigncenter.com. Through March 30.

MATTHEW GREEN In preparation for his upcoming show Hand a face a feeling, the Portland artist will first be hanging objects in the gallery windows to provoke viewer reaction. Then, as nearly as we can determine, the looks and expressions of Thursday’s visitors will be commemorated in a project whereby they can “join him in glazing several hundred circular eyes before they are kiln-fired and displayed in the gallery.”

Hedreen Gallery, 901 12th Ave., 323-9405, seattleu.edu.

Thurs., March 29, 5–9 p.m. April 4–June 1.

GARY HILL glossodelic attractors includes 12 of Hill’s works, which consider how visual and verbal communication are experienced and affect each other. Note private Henry members’ preview 5–8 p.m. Fri., March 30 and performance by Gary Hill and George Quasha, 2 p.m. Sat., March 31. His show opens Friday and runs until Sept. 16. Henry Art Gallery, 4100 15th Ave. N.E., 543-2280, henryart.org. $6–$10. Opens March 30.

Thurs.–Fri., 11 a.m.–9 p.m.; Sat.–Sun., 11 a.m.–4 p.m.; Wed., 11 a.m.–5 p.m.

saturday, april 21st @ 9:00 Spor tsplex Bellingham, WA Pre-registration required:

whatcomdrc.org

10th annual BELLINGHAM BAY

bocce

BEER GARDEN • RAFFLE • PRIZES • FAMILY FRIENDLY

All proceeds to benefit Whatcom Dispute Resolution Center

film»This Week’s Attractions

4TH ROW FILMS

The Christening RUNS FRI., MARCH 30–THURS., APRIL 5 AT NORTHWEST FILM FORUM. NOT RATED. 86 MINUTES.

Jiro Dreams of Sushi OPENS FRI., MARCH 30 AT EGYPTIAN. RATED PG. 81 MINUTES.

Tucked away in the basement of a Tokyo office building, in a drab corridor attached to a subway station, the restaurant Sukiyabashi Jiro seats only a handful, boasts three Michelin stars, and is presided over by renowned 85-year-old sushi chef Jiro Ono. For tens of thousands of yen, you can get a taste of the craft he has been tirelessly honing since age 10. This is of course a calculus apt to explode the mind of even the most casual gourmand, and the foodie set is well taken care of in director David Gelb’s portrait, which includes the effusions of a Japanese food critic, dutifully nods to the overfishing problem, and presents, with no small amount of pomp, the outlandishly photogenic omakase. Happily, the main

focus is on the labor, not just its fruits. Gelb documents many of Jiro’s unorthodox kitchen methods—no family secrets here; just processes so cost-inefficient few would dare to replicate them. Significant screen time goes as well to Jiro’s relationship with his sons: Yoshikazu, the oldest, is in line to take the reins at his father’s original glorified-supplyroom location, while the younger Takashi has opened a separate (more apparently laid-back) branch in Roppongi Hills. The best scenes, though, are windows onto the other professional associations the exacting (but far from humorless) shokunin has cultivated over the years—with “antiestablishment” fish and rice dealers and with his kitchen staff, whose grueling apprenticeship begins with the painful preparation of hot towels. Gelb might flit around a bit too much, but his appealing documentary always comes back to its subject’s (sometimes overbearing) determination to leave the most meaningful possible legacy to his family and his craft. BENJAMIN MERCER

Kati With an I RUNS FRI., MARCH 30–THURS., APRIL 5 AT NORTHWEST FILM FORUM. NOT RATED. 86 MINUTES.

Documentarian Robert Greene chaperones 18-year-old Kati Genthner through the three days before her graduation (with honors) from Pleasant Valley High School near Jacksonville, Alabama. She is preparing to leave for the comparatively cosmopolitan Charlotte, North Carolina, where her out-of-work parents have preceded her. In their absence, she has clung to boyfriend-turned-fiance James, who shows a pulse but is otherwise an unambitious liveat-homer. Greene, Kati’s elder half-brother, meshes with the surroundings enough to play fly-on-the-wall, establishing his outsideraesthete status by rendering her existence in ethereal atmospherics and post-rock soundtrack. (The subject’s native music suffices: tuneless marching bands, muttered chorales, cheeseball “soaring” radio rock.)

Without belaboring any point or entrapping his subjects, Greene—whose film is repetitive even while detailing such a brief period of time—suggests Jacksonville’s social options as

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 26

Seatt le w eekly • M ARCH 28 - April 3, 2012

Michal has a problem. His name is Janek.

Janek has a problem. His name is Michal. The two friends, ex-hoodlums, meet after Janek’s stint in the army. In the interim, Michal (Wojciech Zielinski) was somehow released early from prison and now appears to be a proper Warsaw yuppie, with condo, career, clueless wife (Natalia Rybicka), infant son, and Volvo station wagon. This arouses both envy and suspicion in Janek (Tomasz Schuchardt, who has something of the young Ray Liotta’s soulful swagger). But since he’s crashing on Michal’s couch, he keeps his mouth shut until their old boss, the “Fat Man” (actually slim and bald), brands Michal a squealer. Director Marcin Wrona treats these familiar noir elements in a straightforward manner while also subtly reweighting the drama. Family man Michal should have our sympathies, but Janek faces the greater moral choice. Michal, we see in a prologue, once rescued him from drowning. Now his old pal is being extorted by the violent gang—paying thousands a day not to be killed. Which side is Janek on? The sevenday countdown to the infant’s baptism, with Janek to be godfather, gives The Christening a certain inevitability also infused with Polish Catholicism. Though the flawed Michal is no Christ figure, Janek’s ultimate decision whether to protect or betray his savior lifts the film above standard crime fare. BRIAN MILLER

Kati With an I: Genthner refuses to be a tragic heroine.

25

film» This Week’s Attractions » FROM PAGE 25

P The Raid: Redemption

OPENS FRI., MARCH 30 AT LINCOLN SQUARE, METRO, AND PACIFIC PLACE. RATED R. 100 MINUTES.

recombinations of TV room, mall, backyard pool, church, and public school. (The other time-passer is the elephant in the room: s-e-x.)

Throughout, perspectives on the film’s present are offered via the past (footage of a lively 8-year-old Kati) and the future (Kati’s narration, sober with pee-test revelations, recorded two months after filming). Greene may intend Kati’s story as a quiet tragedy, but the native feeling of that’s-just-the-way-it-is lethargy (“Only in Alabama can you be a home-school dropout”) is rather convincing. NICK PINKERTON

P The Kid With a Bike

OPENS FRI., MARCH 30 AT SIFF CINEMA AT THE UPTOWN. RATED PG-13. 102 MINUTES.

26

CHRISTINE PLENUS/IFC FILMS

Seattle weekly • M ARCH 28 - Apri l 3, 2012

In the new film from Jean-Pierre and Luc Dardenne, Cyril (Thomas Doret), a scrappy 11-year-old living in an urban orphanage, flees school in an attempt to track down both his deadbeat dad (Jérémie Renier) and the bike he left at his dad’s house. On the lam, Cyril carelessly crashes into Samantha (Cécile de France), a hairdresser with a shop in Dad’s former neighborhood, and impulsively asks her to be his foster mom. In what plays within the Dardennes’ understated naturalism as a shocking twist, she agrees. This tentative new family is threatened when Cyril, desperate for male mentorship, falls prey to the manipulations of Wes (Egon Di Mateo), a slick teenage thug.

The second half of the film consists of a fight

The boy on mission (Doret) in The Kid With a Bike.

for Cyril’s soul, with the straight-and-narrow Samantha on one side and the marginal milieu of Wes’ gang, who lures Cyril into the forest on the outskirts of town, on the other. In placing an unformed boy in limbo between an angelic godmother and wolves in the woods, The Kid becomes a fairy tale. It seems to unfold in a different world than that of previous Dardenne films, one with a wider range of spiritual and practical possibilities. It’s set in the summer, the T-shirted boy moving against a palette of primary colors and hazy, warm light—the vibe is hopeful. It’s still a version of the filmmakers’ constant inquiry into moral consciousness, but on a new path and with a new destination—a tentative happy ending. KARINA LONGWORTH

Lean, fast-moving, and filled with brutally beautiful (or beautifully brutal) gamechanging fight sequences, Gareth Evans’ Indonesian martial-arts film lives up to its viral hype. Rama (Iko Uwais) is a rookie member of an elite special-forces team that has been sent to rid a decrepit 15-story highrise of its vicious crime lord and the small army of socio- and psychopaths who do his bidding. Nothing is quite as it seems, of course, as the covert mission turns out to have murky political goals, and Rama’s connection to one of the crime lord’s major henchmen threatens to derail the whole undertaking.

That the viewer will be able to guess many plot twists and story revelations in advance is beside the point. Evans slavishly adheres to genre template even as he tweaks it. So we are introduced to Rama as he kneels on a prayer mat, immediately cuing us that he’s a truly wholesome hero. Before he embarks on his deadly task, he kisses the round belly of his beautiful pregnant wife. But Evans doesn’t play these moments for the cheap ironic laughter of American films—straightforward sincerity is part of what makes the whole thing work, not to mention the sharply choreographed fight scenes that leave the viewer both breathless and squirming. ERNEST HARDY

Undefeated OPENS FRI., MARCH 30 AT VARSITY. RATED PG-13. 113 MINUTES.

An inspirational sports tearjerker in distilled form, this new Harvey Weinstein–hawked doc lands in North Memphis, where the underfunded, all-black Manassas High School football team sucks wind so bad, they’re a state joke. Enter white volunteer coach Bill Courtney and the handful of walking clichés on his roster (the straight-outta-juvie hard case, the 300-pound refrigerator struggling with grades, the good-hearted star tragically felled by torn ligaments), and you’re ready for cheers and hugs and big-man tears all the way to the playoffs—and an Oscar for the directing team of Dan Lindsay and T.J. Martin (the latter a Seattle native and Roosevelt/ Western grad, now based in L.A.). Strangely, the Manassas Tigers are not at all undefeated during their ostensible championship season, which is a shame for the Weinsteins, who were probably envisioning an eventual Hollywood version complete with Philip Seymour Hoffman as Courtney, sweating and tough-loving the mountainous teenagers around him (not playing themselves, since a few require subtitles). Have you had enough even of true stories about white people rescuing black communities? Honestly, Courtney and his crew all seem like nice people, but if there’s an unironic audience for this kind of romantic jock-cup fondling, I’m not interested in knowing it. MICHAEL ATKINSON E film@seattleweekly.com

ONLINE » SEATTLEWEEKLY.COM aMORE See reviews of Mirror, Mirror and Wrath of the Titans.

film»

BY BRIAN MILLER

Local Film ALICE IN WONDERLAND Johnny Depp stars in Tim

•

•

• • •

& THE GOLDEN AGE OF INDIAN • RAJ KAPOOR SIFF begins this retrospective with 1951’s CINEMA

Awaara (aka The Vagabond), which—like other titles in the series—is very, very long. Fortunately the three-plus hour screening will include an intermission. In brief, and there is no way to be brief with these movies, Kapoor plays an outlaw who becomes a killer. Naturally he’s brought to trial in the courtroom of his estranged father, a judge. And by some strange coincidence, his lawyer turns out to be his childhood girlfriend. And of course there are musical numbers. Among the other 12 titles in the series are Shree 420, God, Your River Is Tainted, and My Name Is Joker. (NR) SIFF Film Center, $40-$75 (series), $5-$10 (individual), Fri., March 30, 7 p.m.; March 31-April 11.

LEGEND Tom Cruise goes up against the Devil (or Lord of Darkness, if you prefer) in Ridley Scott’s fantasy adventure from 1985. Tim Curry gives voice to evil. (PG) Central Cinema, $6-$8, Wed., March 28, 7 p.m.

Send events to film@seattleweekly.com See seattleweekly.com for full listings = Recommended

•

studio films, Joe Dante created this 1968 mashup of industrial films, educational reels, trailers, and other movie ephemera. It is, be warned, over four and onehalf hours long! Brave viewers must RSVP through the website of the nonprofit GI, which celebrates its ninth anniversary under present management at the event.

21 and over for this beer-and-wine event. (NR) Grand Illusion, $5-$8, Sat., March 31, 7 p.m.

REALITY BITES QUOTE-ALONG The ‘90s are back, as Ben Stiller (who directs), Ethan Hawke, and Winona Ryder debate how to maintain their integrity. Quick, how do you define irony? (R) Central Cinema, $7-$9, Thu., March 29, 8 p.m.

THE RENAISSANCE OF MATA ORTIZ Los Angeles director Scott Petersen will conduct a Q&A following his documentary profile of Juan Quezada, a Mexican ceramics artist whose “discovery” during the 1970s led to a resurgence of traditional pre-Columbian pottery techniques. (NR). Burke Museum (UW Campus), 543-5590, burkemuseum.org, $5, Fri., March 30, 7 p.m.

SCI-FI CHEAP DATE Ninety minutes of old, bad, and just plain odd clips are promised. Among the offerings: the Japanese trailer for Super Inframan. The event is pegged to this weekend’s Emerald City Comicon convention. (NR) Northwest Film Forum, $6-$10, Fri., March 30, 11 p.m.

SEATTLE DEAF FILM FESTIVAL This three-day event, taking place in Room 120, will screen subtitled movies mostly in programed blocks of shorts—animation, comedy, etc. Among five features, the documentary The Heart of the Hydrogen Jukebox (1 p.m. Sun.) follows poets who perform in ASL (American Sign Language).

See deafspotlight.com/SDFF for full schedule and details. Kane Hall, UW Campus, $8-$11 individual, $70-$95 series, Fri., March 30, 7 p.m.; Sat., March 31, 11 a.m.; Sun., April 1, 1 p.m.

SOUTH SEAS DREAMS In conjunction with its ongoing Gauguin show (ending April 22), SAM is screening several titles that either embrace or undermine what the museum calls “Tahiti as Cinematic Paradise.” First up is Wayfarers: A Pacific Odyssey, about long-distance paddlers. Also screening is the surfing short The Ultimate Wave: Tahiti, with Kelly Slater. (NR) Seattle Art Museum, 1300 First Ave., 654-3100, seattleartmuseum.org, $20-$23 (series), $8 (individual), Fri., March 30, 7:30 p.m.; Fri., April 20, 7:30 p.m.; Fri., April 27, 7:30 p.m.

TIM AND ERIC’S BILLION DOLLAR MOVIE As in their Adult Swim Awesome Show, Tim and Eric’s abiding aesthetic is free-associative channel-surfing.

The conceit here is that stars-directors-writers Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim get run out of L.A. after squandering a billion-dollar film budget. To recoup their losses, they give themselves a grotesque corporate makeover and take on the management of a near-dead mall in no-man’s-land America, whose residents include a Top Gun-obsessed outgoing manager (Will Ferrell) and a sickly man-boy, Taquito (John C. Reilly). In every swelling musical cue, Billion Dollar Movie displays open contempt for friendship, family, love, sex, heroism, and everything lofty and beautiful that multiplex movies have reduced to cant. Such derision will be largely greeted with the same—it’s an inside joke for a self-selecting inside audience. (R) NICK PINKERTON Grand Illusion, $5-$8, Fri., Sat. 11 p.m.

12 MONKEYS Terry Gilliam’s 1995 riff on Chris Marker’s 1962 La Jetée really isn’t an improvement apart from the addition of moving images (instead of stills) plus Bruce Willis, Madeline Stowe, and Brad Pitt. Willis travels back in time to try and stop a plague; Pitt babbles incessantly (hey—it got him an Oscar nom!); Stowe gets lost in the scenery and scenery chewing. It’s no Brazil, but in its furious dystopianism, the movie could almost be called Gilliam’s sequel to Brazil. Call for showtimes. (R) Central Cinema, $6-$8, March 30-April 4.

TICKETS AVAILABLE AT WWW.CINERAMA.COM

Ongoing

undeniably charming homage to old • THE ARTISTTheAnArtist might be the first silent film many

Hollywood, of its viewers have ever seen. French writer-director Michel Hazanavicius’ film opens in 1927, when preening matinee idol George Valentin (Jean Dujardin) is still the top draw at Kinograph Studios. George acts as a mentor to Peppy Miller (Bérénice Bejo), a chorine with big ambitions. Borrowing heavily from A Star Is Born, The Artist tracks both Peppy’s ascent (through amusing montage) and George’s decline as he refuses to acknowledge synchronized sound as more than a passing fad. By 1932, Peppy’s attracting lines around the block for her latest, while George spends his afternoons passed out on a barroom floor. But Peppy has never forgotten him. (PG-13) Melissa Anderson Harvard Exit, Vashon Theatre FRIENDS WITH KIDS Best friends since college, Jason (Adam Scott) and Julie (Jennifer Westfeldt) witness the misery that seems to dominate the lives of their wedded pals

Logos

NOW SHOWING

12:00 • 3:30 • 7:00 • 10:30 SEATTLE’S WIDEST SCREEN SUPERIOR TECHNOLOGY Fresh Chocolate Popcorn, Cupcake Royale, Theo Choc & so much more

2100 4TH AVENUE, SEATTLE WA • (206) 448-6680

Seatt le w eekly • M ARCH 28 - April 3, 2012

Burton’s fairly dreadful 2010 treatment of the Lewis Carroll classic. We do like Mia Wasikowska as Alice, however, and there’s able support from Anne Hathaway, Helena Bonham Carter, and Crispin Glover. (PG) Egyptian, $8.25, Fri., March 30, 11:59 p.m.; Sat., March 31, 11:59 p.m.

BACK TO THE FUTURE The first and best of Michael J. Fox’s star-making trilogy, Back to the Future (1985) has one of the more preposterous plotlines in movie history: Huey Lewis-listening ’80s dude Marty McFly (shown to be a badass for hitching rides on trucks while on his skateboard) has a buddy who’s inventing a time machine.

Shit goes haywire and Marty finds himself stuck in 1955, fending off advances from his future mother (Lea Thompson) while coaching his future father (Crispin Glover, not looking a day older or younger than today) to assert his masculinity. The memorable performances kind of make you forget all of that, though, incredibly. Movie screens at part of the Emerald City Comicon convention, and Dr. Brown himself, Christopher Lloyd, will attend the event. (PG) ANDREW BONAZELLI SIFF Cinema at the Uptown, $20-$25, Sat., March 31, 9 p.m.

BATTLE ROYALE Veteran director Kinji Fukasaku is kind of like the Sam Peckinpah of Japan, only here we have ninth graders, not cowboys, battling to the death in 2000’s Battle Royale. The nutty premise that has these sweet-faced, uniformed schoolkids confined to an island until one survivor’s alive naturally recalls Lord of the Flies, but entertainment isn’t the point to this carnageridden spectacular. There are no cameras to relay the allegiances, betrayals, and gore to an imaginary viewing audience; instead, the blood sport is meant as a cautionary, punitive example against disobedient youngsters.

On hand as a teacher is Takeshi Kitano, who jeers, “So today’s lesson is—you kill each other off!” (R) BRIAN MILLER Northwest Film Forum, $6-$10, Fri., 11 p.m.

BICYCLE SHORTS FILM FESTIVAL Eight shorts are screened in this roughly hourlong program. Topics include bike polo and bike theft in Japan. (NR) REI, 222 Yale Ave. N., cascade.org, $9, Fri., March 30, 7 p.m.

BIG Tom Hanks stars in this very popular comedy from 1988, about a kid who wakes up one morning as a cockroach. No, wait ... he wakes up as an adult. Yes, that’s it. (PG) SIFF Film Center, $4, Opens March 31, Saturdays, Sundays, noon. Through April 8.

THE BIG LEBOWSKI QUOTE-ALONG SEE THE WIRE, PAGE 19.

BRINGING UP BABY SEE THE WIRE, PAGE 19.

DIE HARD This 1988 action flick, which made a big-screen star of Bruce Willis, is also very much a Christmas movie. Here, Willis plays a cop whose wife ... oh, forget it, you know the plot. Bruce battles the baddies in a big Los Angeles office tower; bullets and glass fly all over the place; and he and terrorist Alan Rickman basically have an acting contest to see which thespian can toe over the line into hetero-camp without the audience noticing. His TV apprentice years on Moonlighting made Willis a master of the softly delivered wisecrack, and here he added muscle to his résumé. Die Hard is dumb to its core and irresistible for that reason. (It screens as part of SIFF’s “Back to the ‘80s!” series.)

In the post-Schwarzenegger pantheon of action heroes, only Willis could make a line like “Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker” almost sound clever. (R) BRIAN MILLER. SIFF Cinema at the Uptown, $5-$10, Tue., April 3, 7 p.m.

THE MOVIE ORGY Before he made Gremlins and other

27

PLAYING MARCH 30APRIL 5 206.324.9996 | siff.net 511 Queen Anne Avenue North

A film for PINA BAUSCH

by WIM WENDERS

“A unique and often sublime artistic experience!”

who have babies—Leslie and Alex (Maya Rudolph and Chris O’Dowd), and Missy and Ben (Kristen Wiig and Jon Hamm).

Jason and Julie decide to make a kid the old-fashioned way—a one-time-only act—and raise him together but remain uncoupled and pursuing other bedmates. This unconventional arrangement will resolve conventionally, of course, as per the immutable laws of romantic comedy. (R) Melissa Anderson Lincoln Square, Metro, Oak Tree, Pacific Place, SIFF Cinema at the Uptown, Thornton Place GERHARD RICHTER PAINTING Countless documentaries have feebly attempted to probe and illuminate the creative process (the phrase “dancing about architecture” springs to mind), and even Dresden-born visual artist Gerhard Richter—an 80-year-old master of many brush styles and ideas, from photorealistic portraiture to abstract expressionism—believes his work can’t be described with words. “Painting is another form of thinking,” the no-bullshit iconoclast tells director Corinna Belz, whose magnificent and evocative observances of him laboring in his studio come as close as cinema gets to tracking the impulses and paradoxes of a gifted imagination. (NR) Aaron Hillis Northwest Film Forum JEFF, WHO LIVES AT HOME As the basement-dwelling hero in Jay and Mark Duplass’s new quest movie, Jason Segel works his entire posture for laughs. He slumps expressively on the couch, does bong rips, and ignores chore requests from his exasperated mother (Susan Sarandon). He cringes meekly when being scolded by his asshole older brother (Ed Helms), who at least has a job and wife (Judy Greer). Yet Jeff, Who Lives at Home is a surprisingly mutable, ultimately poignant day-in-the-life drama about a slacker who genuinely wants to stand tall.

There are some weird emotional shifts in tone in Jeff, a karma caper that alternates between Jeff’s increasingly meandering errand and his widowed mother’s confusion over a secret admirer at work. Yet Jeff has a shambling, stubborn decency to him, a trace of Lebowski. (R) Brian Miller Guild 45th Theatre, Oak Tree PINA Choreographer Pina Bausch died unexpectedly right before shooting on this 3-D project began in 2009. Yet her friend Wim Wenders was convinced by her ensemble members to proceed. Their brief, mostly alfresco solo and duet performances are interspersed with voiceover memories of their beloved leader and excerpts from live stagings of four of Bausch’s works. Bausch’s choreography (at least to this unversed writer) emphasizes big emotions, Sisyphean gestures, and the pleasingly absurd, sometimes all at once. Wenders’ expert use of 3-D puts viewers up close to the spaces, both psychic and physical, inside and out, of Bausch’s work. Pina gives us the supreme pleasure of watching fascinating bodies of widely varying ages in motion, whether leaping, falling, catching, diving, grieving, or exulting. (NR) Melissa Anderson SIFF Cinema at the Uptown A SEPARATION Iranian writer-director Asghar Farhadi’s urgently shot courtroom drama puts you in the jury box. It opens at a Tehran judicial hearing where a quarrelsome husband and wife each make their case. Simin has finally obtained official permission for her family to move abroad, but husband Nader has apparently changed his mind. He feels obligated to care for his aged father, and, in order to leave the country, Simin is compelled to sue for divorce.

When her petition is denied, she moves in with her parents; Nader stays with his father as does their daughter.

To look after his father, Nader hires Razieh, who has taken the job without the knowledge of her devout, unemployed husband, Hodjat. A Separation then heads directly into a real crisis. Nader comes home to find his father’s wrists tied to the bed with Razieh out on an errand. They have words; Razieh is shoved out of the apartment, falls down the stairs, and (Nader later discovers) winds up in the hospital. (PG-13) J. Hoberman Harvard Exit

•

—Seattle Times

Kid With A Bike Jennifer Westfeldt, Adam Scott, Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Jon Hamm

Friends With Kids BACK TO THE ’80S!

Back to the Future Sat 9:00 with Lea Thompson in person! co-presented by Emerald City ComiCon

Die Hard Tues 7:00 national theatre live:

The Comedy of Errors Sun 1:00 Moisture Festival presents

The Sound of Silents with a Side of Schtick Thurs 7:30

Classic silent shorts, newly composed live sountracks, and vaudeville performances!

Seattle Center Northwest Rooms

March 29–April 11

Raj Kapoor & the

Golden Age of Indian Cinema 12 newly restored films from the ’40s to the ’80s

Films4Families | All seats only $4.00

Big

film»

Sat & Sun 12:00

WEEKLY SPECIALS MARCH 28 - APRIL 3, 2012

ALASKAN SOCKEYE FILLET PRICE/lb 2LB AVG, PREV FROZEN

$8.99

OPEN DAILY! www.uwajimaya.com

seattle: 206.624.6248 • bellevue: 425.747.9012 renton 425.277.1635 • beaverton: 503.643.4512

Bringing a little Salvadorian flavor to Seattle.

Gluten Free and Vegetarian Menus 2 locations: Capitol Hill 219 Broadway E U District 4106 Brooklyn Ave NE

•

Gluten Free and Vegetarian Menus Capitol Hill 219 Broadway E 206-328-6288

Bringing a little Salvadorian flavor to Seattle U District 4106 Brooklyn Ave NE 206-547-2369

Seattle weekly • M ARCH 28 - Apri l 3, 2012

•

28

THEATERS: Admiral, 2343 California Ave. SW, 938-3456;

CÉCILE DE FRANCE THOMAS DORET

A film by

JEAN-PIERRE and LUC DARDENNE

511 Queen Anne Avenue North WWW.SUNDANCESELECTS.COM

Big Picture, 2505 First Ave., 256-0566; Big Picture Redmond, 7411 166th Ave. NE, 425-556-0566; Central Cinema, 1411 21st Ave., 686-6684; Cinebarre, 6009 SW 244th St. (Mountlake Terrace)., 425-672-7501; Cinerama, 2100 Fourth Ave., 448-6680; Crest, 16505 Fifth Ave. NE, 781-5755; Egyptian, 801 E. Pine St., 781-5755; Grand Illusion, 1403 NE 50th St., 523-3935; Guild 45, 2115 N. 45th St., 781-5755; Harvard Exit, 807 E. Roy St., 781-5755; iPic Theaters, 16451 N.E. 74th St. (Redmond), 425-6365601; Kirkland Parkplace, 404 Park Place, 425-827-9000; Lincoln Square, 700 Bellevue Way N, 425-454-7400; Majestic Bay, 2044 NW Market St., 781-2229; Meridian, 1501 Seventh Ave., 223-9600; Metro, 4500 Ninth Ave. NE, 781-5755; Northwest Film Forum, 1515 12th Ave., 2675380; Oak Tree, 10006 Aurora Ave. N, 527-1748; Pacific Place, 600 Pine St., 888-262-4386; Seven Gables, 911 NE 50th St., 781-5755; SIFF Cinema at the Uptown, 511 Queen Anne Ave. N., 324-9996; SIFF Film Center, 305 Harrison St. (Seattle Center), 324-9996.; Thornton Place, 301 NE 103rd St., 517-9953; Varsity, 4329 University Way NE, 781-5755.

CELEBRATE YOUR SPECIAL OCCASSION AT SUPER CHINA BUFFET! Book your private banquet room today. For up to 200 people!

LUNCH BUFFET $6.33 Reg. $7.45

LUNCH BUFFET $6.33 Reg. $7.45

DINNER & WEEKEND BUFFET

DINNER & WEEKEND BUFFET

with this coupon Mon - Fri 11am to 4pm

Mon-Thurs $8.36 Reg. $10.45 Fri & All Day Sat $9.73 Reg. $11.45 Sunday $10.99 Reg. $12.95 with this coupon Dinner 4pm to 9pm and All Day Saturday & Sunday

with this coupon Mon - Fri 11am to 4pm

Mon-Thurs $8.36 Reg. $10.45 Fri & All Day Sat $9.73 Reg. $11.45 Sunday $10.99 Reg. $12.95 with this coupon Dinner 4pm to 9pm and All Day Saturday & Sunday

206.417.9908 • 15323 WESTMINSTER WAY N. In Shoreline (next to Central Market)

food&drink»

Mourning in America

Belle Clementine’s food is wonderful, but beware the WASPs.

in leisurely, family-style courses, so guests can’t discreetly scarf down their entrées and call it a night if their assigned companions are dreary. The specter of discomfort always looms at Belle Clementine.

To Sanford’s credit, though, he’s done his darnedest to make the restaurant pathologically welcoming. It’s sited in a storefront that previously functioned as a sales office for

I

f your table companions are genial—or you’ve had the foresight to stock your table with so many friends that objectionable strangers aren’t an issue—you might instead stay seated while waiting on stragglers. Sanford usually prefaces the meal with a snack, such as taut potato chips or warmed green olives with curlicues of lemon zest, and the $40 flat rate for dinner (a tremendously good deal) includes a glass of beer or wine served in a stubby jelly glass.

The wine selection fluctuates according to what food is served, and has the inevitable gaps that emerge when a list is drafted on deadline. Our tablemates summoned Sanford to ask why they couldn’t drink Washington wine at a restaurant that advertises its commitment to local sourcing—because his dishes are more simpatico with European wines, he explained—and there wasn’t anything resembling a full-bodied red the night I requested it.

Unlike many restaurants which clump their communal dishes on big platters, forcing guests to privately calculate how much they can take without denying their neighbors a fair share, Belle Clementine is never stingy with its servings. A plate of a dozen appetizer toasts smeared with a sweet

chicken-liver mousse and grazed with Think this guy supports Gingrich? pickled sunchokes was refilled three times before diners at our table caught on to the kitchen’s generosity and quit hoarding for a picking parsnips. His farm was responsible lean serving ahead. for the radicchio, the lettuce, and the arrows Dinner typically includes three courses, of phenomenally sugary carrots and kale in the best of which feature flawless ingredia buttery sauté. Sanford had left dinner ents assembled with minimal mussing. invitations for the manager and farm owner Salads are cause for excitement at Belle when he’d picked up produce earlier that day.

Clementine: As much as I loved Belle Clementine’s simple a lightly dressed tangle of arufood is made to play second gula and chicory sprigs graced fiddle to conversations like » PRICE GUIDE DINNER ..................$40 with sesame seeds and radish those which unfolded at our BRUNCH ................$20 slivers, I was even more struck table when we quizzed the by a cairn of miner’s lettuce and growers about the politics of radicchio, its red and green blazing brightly hosting farm dinners and the difficulties of as a stoplight. Sanford, who recites the menu cultivating imported greens. It didn’t much and contributor credits at the start of each matter whether we were wowed by the meal, endearingly presented the dish as a consistency of the zeppoli when we were harbinger of spring. engrossed in a discussion about the growing Cooked dishes at Belle Clementine are popularity of kale. high-end homey, recalling what a talented Unfortunately, there are no guarantees cook with a Viking range might concoct about ending up at the right table at Belle if his or her spouse was charged with Clementine. And that reality, more than entertaining a visiting college dean. One savoring sunchokes alongside food producnight, Sanford served a tagine of whole ers, is what may ultimately help diners chicken, softened almonds, and bumptious appreciate the local farming that informs white beans. “We’re having this same thing Sanford’s cooking. At Belle Clementine, as tomorrow night,” a guest quietly reminded in tomato fields and apple orchards, a happy her husband, who was eagerly reaching for outcome is never certain—but when everya second helping. Another evening brought thing blossoms as planned, there’s true joy in steamed mussels, their meat white and the occasion. E fleshy as an Irish lass’s shoulders. Swimhraskin@seattleweekly.com ming in liquor sweet with shallots and bacon shards, the entrée provoked unceasing calls BELLE CLEMENTINE for additional bread.

5451 Leary Ave. N.W., 257-5761, “I need more carbs,” explained the farm belleclementine.com. manager at our table who’d spent the day 7 p.m. Thurs.–Sat., 11 a.m. & 6 p.m. Sun.

Seatt le w eekly • M ARCH 28 - April 3, 2012

The partisan patter eventually gave way to gossip about limo drivers and mutual complaints about the difficulties of steering a $10 million boat.

a nearby condo development, and the room embodies a prospective buyer’s Ballard residential fantasy: Resolutely industrial bare floors, white brick walls, and exposed ducts are softened by salvaged wooden shelves lined with cookbooks and kitchen ceramics. The three long wooden tables are sparsely set with salt cellars and wildflowers plunked into clear glass vases, but if those accoutrements were cleared away, it would be easy to imagine an environmental design team gathering around one of the tables for a brainstorming session.

A wooden counter divides the dining room from Sanford’s workspace, although he encourages guests to breach the barrier and poke around his kitchen. A board chalked with future menus and shopping lists is the only clue to the logistical machinery behind the four-nightsa-week operation, and the limited schedule— combined with Sanford’s total control over what’s served when—helps keep the kitchen immaculate. Still, a kitchen tour is a fine way to begin the evening.

JOSHUA HUSTON

T

he dinner started exactly like so many other awkward family gatherings. Attempts at conversational starts sputtered until the blowhard at the head of the table for 10, ignoring his wife’s unspoken signals to stick to frivolous topics which would pair well with digestion, plunged into a political monologue that culminated with a heartfelt encomium for Ronald Reagan. “Best president we ever had,” he decreed. As the meal progressed and more wine was drunk, the partisan patter eventually gave way to gossip about limo drivers and mutual complaints about the difficulties of steering a $10 million boat.

To be clear, this is not my family. But for one unpleasant evening at Belle Clementine, the new communal-table supper club from Corson Building alum David Sanford, my date and I were sandwiched between the WASPs, party of four, and another foursome so dour that I wondered whether the one of them who was purportedly celebrating a birthday had gotten word it’d be her last. Since the parties had no interest in engaging us, and we couldn’t carry on our own conversation without interrupting theirs, we had little choice but to sit quietly and marvel at the proceedings, Alvy Singer–style. Occasionally I asked someone to pass the salad.

When Sanford designed Belle Clementine, he surely didn’t intend to convene the world’s worst dinner party. “Belle Clementine is grounded in the philosophy that the shared meal is one of the best ways to bring people together,” he said soon after the restaurant opened. “The fundamental goal is to bring people together.”

The problem is that Sanford can’t subject his prospective guests to a loyalty test, so he has no way to separate the communityseekers from the upper-crusters who think it’s a lark to go locavoring in Ballard. (Our Queen Anne–based tablemates repeatedly congratulated themselves on their exploratory streak.) And in keeping with Sanford’s aim to stir up a co-op vibe, meals are served

BY HANNA RASKIN

29

FRESH FRESH!

ALASKA HALIBUT We Ship We Ship WeSeafood Ship Seafood Overnight Overnight Seafood Overnight Anywhere in thein USA Anywhere the Anywhere in theUSA USA We Pack or for We Pack or or We for Air for Travel AirPack TravelAir Travel

University University University Seafood && Poultry Seafood & Poultry Seafood Poultry

1317 NE1317 47th,NE Seattle 47th, Seattle (206) 1317 632-3700 or 47th, (206)632-3900 (206)NE 632-3700 or Seattle (206)632-3900

(206) 632-3700 or (206)632-3900

What is a gua bao?

Cilantro for a refreshing fragrance Pickled Mustard greens for that tangy crunch

Crushed sweet peanuts as a crumbly topper

Slab of succulent, juicy, 5-spice braised pork belly

Tucked into a soft and pillowy steamed bun

OPE N LATE !

1024 East Pike Street (206) 860-4238 chinosseattle.com

food&drink»Featured Eats $ = $25 or less per person; $$ = $25–$40; $$$ = $40 and up.

These capsule reviews are written by editorial staff and have nothing to do with advertising. For hundreds more reviews, searchable by neighborhood and type of cuisine, go to seattleweekly.com/food.

BALLARD

LOCKSPOT CAFE 3005 N.W. 54th St., 789-4865. The

Lockspot is where you go on special occasions— Sunday morning, for instance. It’s about bacon and eggs and meat and potatoes, solid family fare with a view of the boys on the bar stools cheering at the TV game. Besides the overflowing breakfast platters, the restaurant is known for its crispy fish and chips.

Lockspot is located at . . . wait for it . . . the entrance to the Ballard Locks. $ MATADOR 2221 N.W. Market St., 297-2855. The feel of Matador is South of the Border saloon: lots of wood, an open fire pit, and an elaborate wrought-iron doorway with a steel steer skull. The drinks are the focus at this Tex-Mex spot, which makes for a fun, loud night out. But you can also get gigantic plates of tacos or enchiladas with slow-roasted tomatillo sauce. Weekend brunch is popular, too. $$ SALMON BAY CAFE 5109 Shilshole Ave. W., 782-5539.

Great ambience if you like parking lots—there’s one out every window. But there’s also a peekaboo vista of working fishing boats and yachts passing on the canal. Despite the view, lines form on the weekends for the vittles. Besides piles of eggs and meats, you get generous mounds of toast and fruit. Bypassing the eggs Benedict is treasonous. Be prepared: The dirty dishes are stacked in plain sight, and the noise level is like a quintuplets’ birthday party. $ WILD MOUNTAIN CAFE 1408 N.W. 85th St., 297-9453.

This woman-owned restaurant was built with love and a social conscience, and is about as homey as they get. All its charmingly eclectic furniture, kitchen equipment, and dishes are secondhand, and all kitchen scraps and coffee grounds are composted. On top of being environmentally friendly, the

home-style comfort food tastes great, too. Irresistible entrées include the honey-kissed, oven-fried chicken with roasted garlic mashed potatoes. $

BEACON HILL

EL DELICIOSO 2500 Beacon Ave. S., 322-1307. The

counter in the southern end of the ABC Market, Beacon Hill’s Chinese-Mexican grocery store, advertises tacos, empanadas, and tortas. Most customers are eating pupusas, the cornmeal cakes stuffed with your choice of fillings, patted out and fried to order.

Each costs less than $2, and they come with a hefty dose of oregano-spiked, tart cabbage slaw. The only downside is that you have to cut them apart with plastic knives and sporks. $

BELLTOWN

EL GAUCHO 2505 First Ave., 728-1337. If you show

up at El Gaucho without a special occasion to celebrate, you’ll mystify the staff. “And what brings you to El Gaucho?” a server asks as he offers an escorting arm to a bathroom-bound guest. Perhaps its the zaniness of the darkly lit room, which looks like a cut-rate Tropicana Club stage set. Or perhaps you’re drawn by the flaming beef torches boleroclad servers hustle across the dance floor. The overpriced steaks are plain and the sides are wildly inconsistent, but El Gaucho offers a singular experience that always closes with a complimentary dessert basket of fresh fruit and a hunk of blue cheese. $$$ LA VITA E BELLA 2411 Second Ave., 441-5322. You can smell the garlicky goodness of this Belltown Italian cafe a full block away. The food almost lives up to the promise of the setting. The long lunch menu includes pizza, panini, soups, salads, and pasta dishes. The panini come perfectly crisp outside; while the prosciutto-mozzarella version can be disappointingly bland, the Napoletana crackles with the sharp flavors of capers, anchovies, and garlic. If you want your vita to be even more bella, add a bowl of nourishing, fragrant Italian sausage soup. $

FirstCall

» by sara billups

30

15% OFF TOTAL BILL (Dine in Only. Not valid during Happy Hour) Sun-Thurs 11am-10pm • Fri & Sat 11am-midnight : Happy Hours: Everyday 3pm-6pm • Fri & Sat 10pm-midnight We do catering and delivery every day from 5pm-10pm.

4750 California Avenue SW West Seattle, Washington W W W. B A N G B A R T H A I . C O M

The Watering Hole: Main Street Alehouse & Eatery, 10111 Main St., 425-485-2972, BOTHELL The Atmosphere: With its creaky wood floors and exposed brick, Main Street Alehouse has been around for an impressive 122 years. The long, lean room has that homey, well-worn feel that old age brings. During Prohibition, patrons snuck through a trap door behind the bar into a speakeasy that now serves as storage. On most nights, regulars living or working in the area line the bar. Crowds can be heavy on weekends, when the wait for a dinner table can reach upward of an hour.

The Barkeeps: During my visit, Katy Milliken and Cheri Phibbs share pouring duties.

Milliken has worked at the Alehouse for four years, Phibbs for six. The women click into an intuitive rhythm mixing drinks and taking orders in the pub’s dining room, making the job look like a breeze (in reality, it’s not).

The Drink: Asked to pour a drink of her choosing, Milliken opts for her version of a Crazy Train. The process is short and sweet: a heavy-handed pour of Ketel One vodka, a few inches of water, and a wedge of lemon, served on the rocks in a pint glass. Milliken picked the Crazy Train because it’s what she drinks when her shift ends, which can be as late as 1 a.m. on weekends.

SARA BILLUPS

Seattle weekly • M ARCH 28 - Apri l 3, 2012

For a Drink or a Lifetime

Two-for-one special.

The Verdict: For a drink that sounds like it should be a mix of Red Bull and tequila sloshing around in half a coconut, the straightforward Crazy Train is equal parts refreshing and strong.

Besides booze, a rotating beer tap is offered, from Bud Light to Boundary Bay Blond Ale. Happy hour is every Monday through Friday from 3 to 6 p.m. Order the chips-and-beer combo, featuring housemade, thick-cut plain or spicy potato chips, dipping sauce, and a 16 oz. beer of the bartender’s choice for a measly $5.

Or opt for a burger-and-beer combo for $8. E food@seattleweekly.com

af e R idge C inne y h pe P p o s ’ m Sh M ae

Ice C

BottomFeedeR » by mike seely

Hat Tricks

ALittLeRAskin » by hanna raskin

Phonatical

couple years ago, the changing of hands was cut cleanly from the mentor/protégé cloth.

Genereaux’s played with Hattie’s menu—a little.

And the most impressive addition is something quite small: a single smoked rib, available only during happy hour (4–7 p.m. and again from 10–midnight) for $1.50 and all day Wednesdays for a buck. With the meat falling off the bone, the solo rib is the perfect portion for the patron not wishing to fill up

8am-2pm M-F 8am-3pm Sa & Su 206-782-1222 Breakfast served all day 65th & Phinney Check out our MOOVELICIOUS MENU! Visit us at: www.maescafe.com

These should come out of a truck.

before heading home for dinner, but not wanting to fall down either.

“It’s one sweet, smoky beefsicle that doesn’t know that it’s selling cheap, like Lindsay Lohan,” says Ballard-based scribe Geoff Carter, making one wonder why Hattie’s doesn’t open an after-hours mobile operation that sells only ribs. E

esday Wedn ecial: HH Sp z PBR! o $3 40

New Late Night HAPPY HOUR! 11pm - 1am

Drink and Food Specials!

206-547-1417 • 460 N 36th St in the Heart of Fremont

mseely@seattleweekly.com HATTIE’S HAT 5231 Ballard Ave. N.W., 784-0175, BALLARD

“census takers” to more than 200 restaurants.

Our goal is not to criticize the pho we find, but to objectively document it: Participants will be sent into the field with survey forms prompting them to record everything from the color of the pho to the type of music playing in the dining room. They’ll note which joints offer melted fat, and which serve lemons instead of limes. They’ll measure their pho bowls and count seats.

And, most important, they’ll encourage restaurant owners to contribute to the project by answering a questionnaire about their background and pho philosophy.

Our goal is to recognize and celebrate the immigrant cooks and entrepreneurs behind the restaurants which all too frequently blend into the background of our daily lives. But we and the Pho-Natics could use your help. We hope you’ll consider registering as a census taker. To obtain a pho joint assignment and all the materials you’ll need for a Pho File submission, please e-mail me at hraskin@seattleweekly.com. That address also works if you’ve got questions.

We’re tremendously excited about this project, and look forward to sharing the results—and all the slurping we’ll be doing along the way. E hraskin@seattleweekly.com

aBLOG ON »FOOD VORACIOUS

SEATTLEWEEKLY.COM/VORACIOUS

Three Course Easter Brunch Sunday, April 8

10am-2:30pm

Make your reservations now!

Located on the Ship Canal near the Fremont Bridge 3014 3RD AVE N SEATTLE | 206-284-3000 | www.pontigrill.com

Jasonduilaw.com If you have a DUI or Traffic Infraction(s), you need representation immediately. My firm offers competitive rates and discounts for Veterans and their family members.

IF YOU ARE STOPPED FOR A DUI, HAND THIS CUTOUT TO THE OFFICER.



Officer, I wish to contact my Attorney, Casey Jason at 425-223-7701, now.

I will provide my drivers license, registration, and proof of insurance.

I will sign a citation, if any, then I want to leave immediately.

I will not answer any questions without an attorney present.

I do not have to do “Field Sobriety Tests” and I refuse to do them.

I do not consent to or want to be recorded.

I do not consent to my person, car, or other property being searched.

I do not waive my rights.

If you want me to take a breath or blood test, I want to talk to Casey Jason at 425-223-7701, first.

Seatt le w eekly • M ARCH 28 - April 3, 2012

Books and covers may inhabit totally separate spheres, but an experienced diner usually can capably assess a restaurant from its exterior.

If there’s a vinyl banner advertising ladies’-night shots, it’s probably not the best place to ask for a wine list. If the nameplate is brass and smaller than a bread box, there are probably foie gras and scallops within.

But not every restaurant is so easily deciphered. It’s impossible to tell from the street whether a pho joint is serving a brilliantly balanced broth or a watery soup that’s never seen a beef bone. Many eaters respond to such uncertainty by visiting and revisiting the same pho restaurant, allowing the hundreds of local pho joints they don’t know to recede into the urban landscape. That approach is understandable, since it would take months for an individual eater to systematically evaluate every pho joint in the county. But a team of pho lovers could accomplish the same task fairly expeditiously, which is just what we here at Voracious are proposing to do.

This month marks the kickoff of The Pho File, an ambitious effort to catalog every pho joint in King County. We’ve partnered with the Seattle Pho-Natics, a club for pho devotees, to send

Serving “Moo-velous” breakfast a-1-1 day.

Shake & Eggs our specialty.

COZELL WILSON

Hattie’s Hat has come full circle. No, it’s not back to its emulating its first 90 years as a dingy hangout for chronically thirsty longshoremen fresh off the graveyard shift, girding for a fight. Rather, it’s fallen well off downtown Ballard’s fickle vanguard and landed in a comfortable place reminiscent of its mid-’90s rebirth as a hipster-friendly dive with tasty, down-home food.

Still separated from the dining portion of the establishment by a “brawl wall,” the scene at a recent weekday happy hour could just as easily have occurred during the peak of Pavement’s popularity. A crew of construction workers lined the bar, placing coasters atop their beers during frequent smoke breaks (granted, in the ‘90s, they could have smoked at their stools). A table of 30-somethings ordered a round of whiskey shots backed by Olympia tallboys, and the bartender had to summon a manual when asked to mix a Negroni.

While she executed the drink properly after boning up, a highfalutin cocktail bar Hattie’s is not.

While trendier establishments have sprouted around it over the better part of two decades, Hattie’s subtle genius has been to tweak its template just enough to stay current without sullying its divediner DNA. Even when Hattie’s switched majority owners from Dan Cowan to Max Genereaux a

re a m

31

32

Seattle weekly • M ARCH 28 - Apri l 3, 2012

music»

presents at

DIMITRIOU’S

»PREVIEW

Punk Poetry

Acclaimed songwriter John K. Samson weighs in on some of punk rock’s greatest storytellers.

2033 6th Avenue (206) 441-9729 j a z z a l l e y. c o m

BY DAVE LAKE

Bad Religion (lyrics by Greg Graffin)

I heard them say that the meek shall reign on earth Phantasmal myriads of sane bucolic birth I’ve seen the rapture in a starving baby’s eyes Inchoate beatitude, the Lord of the Flies Samson: This band was huge for me. Their vocabulary, first off, is huge. It can sometimes seem a bit much, but to me it was always a thrill to hear those four-syllable words in a punk-rock song. It really encouraged thoughtfulness and intelligence.

The first song I ever covered with the first band I was ever in was “The Voice of God Is Government,” which is off one of their first records. They’re still a touchstone for me lyrically.

Bad Religion were teacherly, and that was great and necessary, but I just don’t write that way. People have to write to their strengths, and I do believe that you have to write as natural as possible. As much as I admire it, I can’t really write a song like that.

The Clash (lyrics by Joe Strummer)

London calling, now don’t look to us Phoney Beatlemania has bitten the dust London calling, see we ain’t got no swing ’Cept for the ring of that truncheon thing That’s a classic. They were a huge influence on me as well.

It’s one of those songs that I can’t imagine the lyric without the voice. The voice and the lyric are the same thing in the case of Strummer. It’s inseparable and unique.

“Rock and Roll Nigger” Patti Smith

featuring Ben Street, Blas Cordoba and Dafnis Prieto Spanish Flamenco Jazz Pianist March 28

Hiromi: The Trio Project

featuring Anthony Jackson and Simon Phillips Brilliant Jazz Pianist in Improvisational Trio Format March 29 – April 1

Carmen Lundy Celebrates the CD Release of “Changes”

Those who have suffered understand suffering and thereby extend their hand The storm that brings harm also makes fertile Blessed is the grass and herb and the true thorn and light She is a poet. It’s one of those cases that is rare, where she’s as powerful on the page as she is in the air, in the ether.

“The Idiots Are Taking Over” NOFX (lyrics by Fat Mike)

Darwin’s rolling over in his coffin The fittest are surviving much less often Now everything seems to be reversing, and it’s worsening Someone flopped a steamer in the gene pool Now angry mob mentality’s no longer the exception, it’s the rule I think Mike isn’t given enough credit for some of the subtleties in his writing.

He definitely does illuminate some moments in life that are pretty unique and interesting. I’m not familiar with that tune, but I do think that he’s a pretty interesting writer.

“Straight Edge”

Minor Threat (lyrics by Ian MacKaye)

I’m a person just like you But I’ve got better things to do Than sit around and fuck my head Hang out with the living dead Snort white shit up my nose Pass out at the shows I don’t even think about speed That’s something I just don’t need I’ve got the straight edge A piece of the canon for sure. I listened to it when I was a kid, and I loved those records. They’re fascinating writers as well.

The progression that all those D.C. bands made is a remarkable thing to watch and

Authentic and Expressive Jazz Singer/Songwriter April 3 – 4

Writer’s block, Samson realized, is no excuse to stop working.

a remarkable testimony to the power of a community to create art that develops in a really remarkable way.

Christian McBride and Inside Straight One of the World’s Top Bassists, with his Premier Quintet April 5 – 8

“Be My Fucking Whore”

Curtis Salgado Big Band

by GG Allin

Sit on my face, cunt, ’til I get off When I’m done I light a cigarette and piss in your mouth And then I’ll kick you the fuck out you little piece of worthless shit [alternate lyric: And I’ll kick you, you fucker/ You’re just a piece of worthless shit] You’re nothing to me Just get down and suck it I was never a fan of this sub-genre of punk rock, but I understand it. I always shied from such things. Crazy, amazing figure.

“Room Without a Window”

by Operation Ivy (lyric by Jesse Michaels)

The position being taken is not to be mistaken For attempted education or righteous accusation Only a description, just an observation of the pitiful condition of our degeneration The pure adrenaline and thrill of that band is a rush for me as a writer. I wanted to imitate that thrill in “Sound System.” That song to me is pretty much the manifesto for why people make music. E music@seattleweekly.com JOHN K. SAMSON & THE PROVINCIAL BAND With Shotgun Jimmie. Tractor Tavern, 5213 Ballard Ave. N.W., 789-3599. $12 adv./$15 DOS. 21 and over. 8 p.m. Sun., April 1.

Soul-Filled R&B Singer and Blues Harpist April 10 – 11

McCoy Tyner with Special Guest Saxophonist Gary Bartz

Transcendant Jazz Pianist, Legend Among Legends April 12 – 15

ON SALE NOW Kenny G

April 26 – 29

Jack DeJohnette Trio featuring Chick Corea & Stanley Clarke May 10 – 13

FOURPLAY June 7 – 10

Walk-ins Always Welcome!

All Ages • Free Parking • Gift Certificates

Military, Senior and Student Discounts

Seatt le w eekly • M ARCH 28 - April 3, 2012

“1000 More Fools”

Chano Dominquez Flamenco Sketches

“London Calling”

JASON HALSTEAD

T

he libraries and city archives of Winnipeg, Manitoba, may seem like an unlikely place to find one of indie rock’s most singular voices.

But John K. Samson, singer/songwriter of the Weakerthans, spent two and a half years researching the songs for his debut solo album, Provincial, which focuses on four roads in his home province. Like his work with the Weakerthans, these songs swell with the tiny moments that fill our lives, which, when zoomed out, reveal larger truths about the human condition (or at least hockey).

“I wanted to illuminate a sense of the history and place and landscape of each location,” Samson says, which drove him headfirst into research, a process he enjoyed. “It was interesting to know exactly what the songs would be about, but not know how to write them.”

Samson gained inspiration partly from friend and fellow songwriter John Darnielle of the Mountain Goats, who encouraged him to push through his writer’s block simply by working through it. “Factory workers don’t get factory-worker block,” Darnielle told him.

“I think that that’s a really valuable thing that people have to remind me of,” Samson said.

“That it’s work. I’m so honored and lucky to be able to do it. And to have other people listen to it is a privilege that I should take seriously.”

Samson’s penchant for penning compelling narratives has earned him a reputation as a sort of punk laureate, a thoughtful writer with roots that stretch back to Propagandhi, the radical left-wing punk band he once played bass in. With this in mind, we asked Samson to give us his take on lyrics by some of punk rock’s other notable writers, past and present. Here’s what he told us:

33

SO O L U D T!

It’s like this... plus bacon, booze and broccoli rabe!

PA RA M O U N T T H E AT E R

T H U R S D AY, A P R I L 5

FEATURING

• OPEN BAR Seattle weekly • M ARCH 28 - Apri l 3, 2012

• UNLIMITED SAMPLING FROM 40+ SEATTLE RESTAURANTS

34

• UNLIMITED CRAFT COCKTAILS FROM 15+ LOCAL MASTER MIXOLOGISTS • SPECIALTY FOODS, DESSERTS AND FOOD TRUCKS PRICING

THIS EVENT IS SOLD OUT!

TH

RESTAURANTS INCLUDE 35th Street Bistro Artusi Bar Barrio Hallava Falafel Bastille Bathtub Gin Caffee Umbria Chocolopolis Cicchetti Kitchen & Bar Copper Leaf Crispin /Fox Barrel Cider Cupcake Royale

Dahlia Bakery Finnriver Cider Harvest Vine Liberty Hot Cakes Il Corvo The Coterie Room Island Soul Knee High Stocking Kukuruza Lecosho Local 360 Marché

Marination Station Matt’s In The Market Rob Roy Mezcaleria Oaxaca Mighty-O Donuts Mt. Townsend Creamery Pho So#1 Plaka Estiatorio Ponti Poquitos Veraci RN74

Seatown Skillet El Camion Serafina Osteria & Enoteca Skycity Restaurant Spur Gastropub Bigfood!

Stumptown Coffee Sun Liquor Sweet Iron Waffles TASTE Tavern Law

Tavolata The Confectional The Tin Table Toulouse Petit Trophy Cupcakes Emmer & Rye Triple Door Volunteer Park Cafe Snout and Co. Where Ya At Matt Wild Ginger AND MORE TO COME!

BENEFITTING:

music»Reverb

»THROUGH @ 2

Whale Riders

»TELL ME ABOUT THAT ALBUM

Orca Team holds back, but looks sharp.

Kathleen Edwards’ Voyageur Breaking up, dating fame, and tweeting cats.

BY ERIN K. THOMPSON

BY DAVE LAKE

e

THE SITUATION I’m spending the evening with the surf-rock trio Orca Team—vocalist/ bassist Leif Anders, guitarist Jessica B., and drummer Dwayne Cullen—in the back room of Capitol Hill’s Liberty Bar. The South Park episode in which Cartman’s hand is Jennifer Lopez is playing distractingly on a large screen. Anders is wearing a dark sweater and a bow tie; his penchant for wearing tuxedos onstage (he owns several after a brief stint working briefly at a tux shop) next to B.’s usual uniform of chic cocktail dresses attracts a lot of attention to the band’s smart appearance.

shop every day of my life and hang out at the Aviation Museum.” He’s such a great lyricist and great writer, and he basically became my editor. He really helped me carve out some different ideas lyrically and arrangement-wise.

You seem to tweet a lot about your cats. Can you tell me about them? And isn’t your Twitter handle @kittythefool?

My nickname is Kitty and one of my cat’s names is Mr. T, so when I got my cat, someone was like, “Hey, Kitty the Fool.” I’m 33 and I have no children. You’re damn straight I have a lot of pictures of my cats! E music@seattleweekly.com KATHLEEN EDWARDS With Hannah Georgas. Neumos, 925 E. Pike St., 709-9442, neumos.com. $18 adv./$21 DOS. 21 and over. 8 p.m. Tues., April 3.

»LISSSSSTS

1-800-WTF-PAVILION The 10 least rock-and-roll venues on the KISS/Mötley Crüe tour itinerary.

32 New Ways to Get Stuck in the Closet

BY RACHEL BELLE

music@seattleweekly.com

Setting aside the fact that KISS is the most merchandised band in history, and we love them to death for their shameless commercialization, it would actually sound more rock-and-roll for KISS and Mötley Crüe to route their summer mega-tour through the nation’s Hot Topics than through rooms with cuddly names like the Comfort Dental Amphitheatre or the 1-800-ASK-GARY Amphitheatre.

The Mötley Crüe/KISS co-headlining itinerary— which includes an Aug. 18 stop at Auburn’s modestly named White River Amphitheatre—makes the Tacoma Dome sound so boss by comparison. Here’s a look at the “best” venues, in chronological order:

First Midwest Bank Amphitheatre?

This is even a bad name for a bank.

Jiffy Lube Live, Bristow, Va., July 20. Boy, I would like to be a fly on the wall of Tommy Lee’s bus when he finds out he’s playing a place called Jiffy Lube Live.

Farm Bureau Live at Virginia Beach, Virginia Beach, Va., July 21. Nothing says rock like the Farm Bureau.

Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre(s) in Charlotte, N.C., July 25; Irvine, Calif., Aug. 16; and Maryland Heights, Md., Aug. 27. Yes, there are three Verizon Amphitheatres in three different states on the Mötley/KISS tour.

1-800-ASK-GARY Amphitheatre, Tampa, Fla., July 28: I really don’t know where to start here. I called Gary to ask for clarification, but the number—which makes doctor and lawyer recommendations—doesn’t work from our area.

Hard Rock Casino Presents The Pavilion, Albuquerque, N.M., Aug. 7: Hey, guys! Wanna pile into my Chevy and head down to the Hard Rock Casino Presents The Pavilion!?!?!

Comfort Dental Amphitheatre, Englewood, Colo., Aug. 8: I understand that the target audience for amphitheater tours like this is getting old, but damn.

What’s next, the Depends Arena?

Ashley Furniture HomeStore Pavilion, Phoenix, Aug. 10: So many memories.

Sleep Train Pavilion at Concord, Concord, Calif., Aug. 16: I know a lot of folks are going to want to jump right into the sack after this show, but sleeping will be the last thing on their minds.

Sleep Country Amphitheater, Ridgefield, Wash., Aug. 19: Why see a rock show anywhere else?

First Midwest Bank Amphitheatre, Tinley Park, Ill., Sept. 7: The thing is, this is even a bad name for a bank.

Blossom Music Center, Cleveland, Sept. 12: Though I guess this leaves open opportunities for plenty of jokes about who’s going to deflower Blossom first. E ckornelis@seattleweekly.com

“Why play a show without making it a performance?” says Anders.

HOW THEY GOT HERE The current Orca Team lineup is less than a year old. Anders and B. went through three drummers—the first went to Argentina, the second got carpal tunnel syndrome, the third didn’t want to tour—before settling with Anders’ old highschool friend Cullen.

Orca Team is probably the most Northwestern band name I’ve ever heard. “Ever since I was young I had this attraction to orca whales as being like hunters,” says Anders. “They seem very majestic and cutthroat. I like that.”

“They are the biggest porpoise in the porpoise family,” says B. “A lot of whales have actually been beaching themselves,” says Cullen. “They say it’s because they have no porpoise.” (Beery laughter.)

SHOP TALK Orca Team’s released a string of tapes and 7-inches, but they just finished recording their first LP. They’re planning to call it Restraint, a word frequently used to describe their simple, straightforward pop tunes—an assessment they all agree with. “A lot of ’60s music is like that,” says B. “People used to say that about Dusty Springfield, like she doesn’t ever give it all. You can always feel that she’s holding back.”

“It creates a different tension,” says Anders.

BTW: This summer the band will tour the country in a Toyota Corolla, a tight squeeze that they somehow managed last year.

“I’m bringing two pairs of underwear and two socks,” says Cullen.

“I’m not bringing anything this time,” asserts Anders. “Just two tuxes.” E ethompson@seattleweekly.com ORCA TEAM With the Coathangers, White Mystery, Sick Secrets. Comet Tavern, 922 E. Pike St., 322-9272. $10. 9 p.m. Wed., March 28.

Seatt le w eekly • M ARCH 28 - April 3, 2012

When I moved to Japan two years ago, I brought two carefully selected items designed to bribe other Westerners into friendship. 1. A bottle of Tapatío, to gift another hot sauce–homesick taco fiend, and 2. R. Kelly’s epic hip-hopera, Trapped in the Closet, episodes 1–12, on DVD. Both were roaring successes, but even after the last drop of Tapatío was drained, the residue of Kellz singing about Bridget and her asthmatic midget, the nosy neighbor’s spatula, and rhyming “dresser” with “Beretta” will continue to coat my friends’ souls for years to come. Now that I’m home and it’s been five long years since the 22nd episode was released, IFC has announced that it will debut brand-new installments of Trapped this year! Self-celebrator R. Kelly has penned 32 “not of this Earth” episodes, therefore giving me 32 more ways to make new friends. E Rachel Belle contributes the “Ring My Belle” segment to 97.3 KIRO FM’s Ron and Don Show, weekdays at 4:37 and 6:37 p.m., Saturdays at 1 p.m., and Sundays at 11 a.m.

BY CHRIS KORNELIS

JIM BENNETT

»RING MY BELLE

RYAN FURBUSH

in your life—and that part’s amazing. But there are Let’s get this out of the way up front: Kathleen times when it makes you feel a little bit like, “You Edwards is dating Justin Vernon of the Grammyknow, I actually have a musical spine of my own, and winning Bon Iver, who also produced her latest I’ve kind of done some shit before I had a boyfriend record, Voyageur, which she wrote while going that everyone knew.” through a divorce. But that’s hardly the whole story.

The Canadian singer/songwriter has been releasThere’s not a lot of self-deprecation on this ing great Americana (Canadiana?) records since record, whereas your previous outings had songs 2003, when she was discovered at SXSW after years like “One More Song the Radio Won’t Like” and of touring her homeland as an unsigned act. Her “I Make the Dough, You Get the Glory.” Were you latest LP is her biggest departure yet, combining the feeling particularly serious this time? lusher textures of Vernon’s I don’t want to sound like production with her tuneful a fucking drama queen, but I country-rock. We chatted with went through the hardest two Tune in to 97.3 KIRO FM every Sunday at 3 p.m.

Edwards about the record, her years I’ve ever had, so yeah, to hear music editor Chris Kornelis time spent in Seattle with our I guess unintentionally I was on Seattle Sounds. own John Roderick, and her serious a lot. I think there’s herd of cats. some really hopeful moments on the record—like the opening track, which is a Does it make you uncomfortable to have song I wrote after hanging out with John Roderick your personal life so closely tied to the press for for a week in Seattle. I was like, “Holy fuck, I’m ready this record? to take on anything! I’m excited to, like, move to Yeah, it’s been hard. There’s nothing nicer than Georgetown and hang out at that awesome coffee being reminded that you have someone awesome

35

music»TheShortList The Blackberry Bushes String Band THURSDAY, MARCH 29

WED/MARCH 28 • 7:30PM

blame sally & rebecca pronsky w/ blvd park

FRI/MARCH 30 • 8PM

roy rogers &

the delta rhythm kings

SAT/MARCH 31 • 8PM

ian mcferon band w/ kate lynn logan SUN/APRIL 1 • 7:30PM

cheryl wheeler w/ kenny white

MON/APRIL 2 • 7:30PM

kelly hogan

Seattle weekly • M ARCH 28 - Apri l 3, 2012

next • 4/4 alessandra rose w/ kaylee cole, zach fleury & friends • 4/5 & 4/6 apple jam: beatles singles/1962-1966 & 19671970 • 4/7 mike doughty • 4/10 chilly gonzales

36

• 4/11 freddypink • 4/12 hayes carll (solo) • 4/13 glen phillips • 4/15 cahalen & eli • 4/17 showgirls the movie w/ david schmader • 4/18 the moondoggies • 4/19 & 4/20 todd snider

Winter Carpenters. Nectar, 412 N. 36th St., 632-2020. 8 p.m. $6. GWENDOLYN ELLIOTT

Kithkin THURSDAY, MARCH 29

In just a year, this youthful local quartet went from being one of the many groups of unknowns competing in last year’s Sound Off! to one of Seattle’s most buzzed-about bands, particularly after a popularly praised performance opening for Los Campesinos! at the Neptune last month. Kithkin’s debut EP, Takers & Leavers, is exuberant and thunderously percussive in a way that recalls tribally tinged rock bands like Yeasayer and Friendly Fires, and also those blithesome hippie drum circles that hit the beach every summer. With Ambulance, Ghost Animals, Cat From Hue. Comet Tavern, 922 E. Pike St., 322-9272.

9 p.m. $7. ERIN K. THOMPSON

THEEsatisfaction THURSDAY, MARCH 29

To celebrate the release of their highly anticipated Sub Pop debut awE naturalE, this local duo headlines a showcase of some of the brightest lights in Seattle’s next generation of hip-hop and beyond. No filler here, but expect awE naturalE to hold the spotlight with ease. At under a half-hour, the LP nonetheless covers much ground, distilling the duo’s unique blend of spacey hip-hop beats, jazzy singing and samples, and fiercely feminine rapping into 13 of their strongest, deepest-hitting tracks to date. Come early to see multifaceted musician/rapper/producer OC Notes and young beatmaker Chocolate Chuck do their things. Neumos, 925 E. Pike St., 709-9467. 8 p.m. $10. ERIC GRANDY

Count Basie Orchestra THURSDAY, MARCH 29–SUNDAY, APRIL 1

Though the band’s namesake has been gone almost 30 years, some of these players—such

• 3/28 katy bourne • 3/29 ancient vessel allstars • 3/30 danny godinez / joe doria • 3/31 airport way • 4/1 beard and stache fest awards gala • 4/2 free funk union • 4/4 peace / pereira duo TO ENSURE THE BEST EXPERIENCE

PLEASE ARRIVE EARLY DOORS OPEN 1.5 HOURS PRIOR TO FIRST SHOW ALL-AGES (BEFORE 9:30PM)

thetripledoor.net 216 UNION STREET, SEATTLE 206.838.4333

DAVID BELISLE

dinner & show

Multi-instrumentalist and K Records solo artist Kendl Winter’s quick picking and warm vocals leads this five-piece string band from Olympia—a seasoned group in its own right.

Fusing lively bluegrass with elements of indie rock, jazz, and pop, the band’s three-album discography combines technique and experience (two members have working ties to bluegrass father Bill Monroe) with soulful harmonies, tender ballads, and rollicking Americana roots, and their live show radiates spirit. With Dead

as Clarence Banks (trombone), John Williams (sax), and musical director Dennis Mackrel— were on the bus with the Count and know the charts better than any other players still drawing breath. After playing a couple of high schools around the state, the Basie band settles in at Benaroya for a four-night stand.

Benaroya Hall, 200 University St., 215-4747.

7:30 p.m. Thurs., 8 p.m. Fri., 2 & 8 p.m. Sat., 2 p.m. Sun. $17–$93. All ages. CHRIS KORNELIS

John K. Samson & The Provincial Band SUNDAY, APRIL 1

Samson’s recent solo album, Provincial, is largely quieter and more stripped-down than his main gig with the Weakerthans,

*

Local lady-thrillers THEEsatisfaction.

heavy on the acoustic folk and balladry, but his smart lyricism and simply affecting songwriting shine even at their most unadorned. His concerns are, as ever, both nerdy (“When I Write My Master’s Thesis”) and Canadian (hockey trivia), but his trick is to find the emotional core of these things and expand them into everyman anthems.

“Thesis,” especially, is a killer: a hopeless wish that everything will change set to Provincial’s most amped-up power pop.

With Shotgun Jimmie. Tractor Tavern, 5213 Ballard Ave. N.W., 789-3599. 8 p.m. $12. ERIC GRANDY

EDITOR’S PICK

CAROLINA CHOCOLATE DROPS SATURDAY, MARCH 31

This young string quartet out of North Carolina is intent on keeping the tradition of African-American Americana music alive. The band occasionally reworks modern pop songs into their old-time stylings (their banjo-picking, fast-fiddling, beatboxing version of Blu Cantrell’s “Hit ’Em Up Style,” sung by the fantastic Rhiannon Giddens, is particularly delightful), but mostly stick to playing revivalist blues, ragtime, early jazz, and roots to great acclaim. Their 2010 album Genuine Negro Jig won a Grammy for Best Traditional Folk Album, and their original song “Daughter’s Lament” appears on the much-ballyhooed T Bone Burnett–produced Hunger Games soundtrack. With Shook Twins. Showbox at the Market, 1426 First Ave., 628-3151. 7 p.m. $21 adv./$25 DOS. ERIN K. THOMPSON

FRI, 4/6 & SAT, 4/7 • 9:30PM ~ $22ADV/$25DOS

REBIRTH BRASS BAND THE REVIVALISTS

tractor

5213 BALLARD AVENUE NW INFO: (206) 789-3599 • tractortavern.com

www.tractortavern.com

For all advance ticketing, TICKETWEB.COM

or call 1-866-468-7623

Seatt le w eekly • M ARCH 28 - April 3, 2012

Two nights of classic R&B, New Orleans funk, soul, rock & jazz with New Orleans institution and GRAMMY Award Winners

37

TEAM UP PRESENTS GIGS4GOOD #11

IVAN AND

ALYOSHA W/ YUNI IN TAXCO

Events

MAR 30 - MAR 31

WIN TICKETS TO HOP SCOTCH FREMONT STUDIOS

AND KEVIN LONG

Seattle Weekly

SA s

Events APRIL 12 TEAM UP FOR NONPROFITS GIGS4GOOD #11 HARD ROCK CAFE

50% OFF

DINING GIFT CERTIFICATES AND MORE!

FIND YOUR REDEMPTION AT SEATTLE WEEKLY’S ONLINE STORE!

BENEFITING SEATTLE WORKS // APRIL 12 HARD ROCK CAFE SEATTLE // 116 PIKE ST

www.seattleweekly.com/promosites/50-off

SHOW 21+ // DOORS 7PM // BROWNPAPERTICKETS.COM

A TRIBUTE TO PINK FLOYD

PIGS ON THE WING - A Tribute to Pink Floyd Order XXX

XX

APRIL 6 - El Corazón - 109 Eastlake Ave E Doors at 8:30 PM Tickets on Sale - $8 adv - www.cascadetickets.com ening

Seattle weekly • M ARCH 28 - Apri l 3, 2012

Pocket Op

r Front Cove

rses 3.06 Here: 2 Ho ton 2.19 In WaSHIng now: Stuck ds.com www.finrecor -LE7-017 Records FIN © 2011 Fin

n Ha DaviDso _________

rt Kingsbe

_ of 500

ry

Ry HARt KINgsbE wRIttEN by sbERy ALL soNgs N HARt KINg by dAvIdso EAd vocALs ARRANgEd Ic guItAR/L Ry - Acoust INg vocALs HARt KINgsbE guItAR/bAcK N - ELEctRIc dEAN JoHNso AR - bAss guIt ERIc HImEs E - dRums mAsoN Low N - PIANo/oRgA bEN stREHLE

E JoHNsoN covER by gAb gENEREAux NKs to mAx sPEcIAL tHA mIxEd @ REcoRdEd ANd dIos JuPItER stu FEvERyEAR by mARtIN

38

DAVIDSON HART KINGSBERY Limited Edition 7” with full album download out now

www.finrecords.com

seven»nights

MUSiC SOCiEtY

april 24th Paramount theatre 8 Pm • all ages

tickets at stgPresents.o rg, by Phone (877) 784-4849, the Paramount theatre box office and 24-hour kiosks NEKO CASE

doubt have noticed the changes we’ve made to Seven Nights. To highlight more noteworthy shows in each issue, we’ve replaced our comprehensive listings—the skeletal who, what, when, where info— with dozens of short write-ups of artists performing in town. Those who want a complete look at the week’s schedule can find it at seattleweekly.com. As always, send notices of events to music@seattle weekly.com and direct feedback to me at ckornelis@seattleweekly.com.

Chris Kornelis, music editor, Seattle Weekly

Wednesday, March 28 THE COATHANGERS The Atlanta girl punks just

Send events to music@seattleweekly.com

and Katie White released their second album, Sounds From Nowheresville, which continues in their vein of thrashy party rock. With MNDR. Showbox at the Market, 1426 First Ave., 628-3151, showboxonline.com.

8 p.m. $21 adv./$23 DOS.

Thursday, March 29

WANDA JACKSON & The Dusty 45s SALLIE FORD & The Sound Outside Larry & His Flask

fri APriL 20th • NEUMOS • 9Pm • 21+

MASTAMIND Detroit MC headlines showcase for

Portland horrorcore label Blood Shed Records. Studio Seven, 110 S. Horton St., 286-1312, studioseven.us.

6 p.m. $10 adv./$13 DOS. All ages.

ANAIS MITCHELL PRESENTS HADESTOWN This singer/songwriter’s folk opera retells the Greek myth of Orpheus and Eurydice; tonight’s production features Sleater-Kinney’s Corin Tucker filling in for Ani DiFranco as goddess of spring Persephone. Tractor Tavern, 5213 Ballard Ave. N.W., 789-3599, tractortavern.com. 9 p.m. $15.

PAUL RODGERS Before Bad Company gets back together for some European shows this summer, frontman Rodgers is sneaking in a few more solo dates. Snoqualmie Casino Ballroom, 37500 S.E. N. Bend Way, Snoqualmie, 425-888-1234, snocasino.com. 7 p.m., $70 to $130.

D.C.’s Pree appears at the High Dive on Wednesday, March 28.

SET YOUR GOALS Warped Tour vets play preening

pop-punk and toured with New Found Glory late last year. With Cartel. El Corazon, 109 Eastlake Ave. E., 262-0482, elcorazonseattle.com. 6:30 p.m. $13.

Friday, March 30 BUCKET OF HONEY Acoustic guitar, delicate songbird

melodies, and a little airy flute inspires this Seattle

Seatt le w eekly • M ARCH 28 - April 3, 2012

released a split 7-inch with Puerto Rico’s Davila 666 on Seattle’s Suicide Squeeze; the ladies’ contribution, “Smother,” is typically blistering and boisterous. With White Mystery, Sick Secrets, Orca Team. Comet Tavern, 922 E. Pike St., 322-9272, comettavern.com. 9 p.m. $10.

LINDSAY FULLER & THE CHEAP DATES Seattle’s husky-throated singer/songwriter is celebrating the release of her ATO Records debut You, Anniversary by touring with the Indigo Girls’ Amy Ray. It’s a match made in—well, now that Lilith Fair’s dead—heaven.

Tractor Tavern, 5213 Ballard Ave. N.W., 789-3599, tractortavern.com. 8 p.m. $15.

HOWLER These Strokes sound-alikes from Minneapolis are touring behind January’s buzzed-about America Give Up. With the Static Jacks, Valley Fair. Sunset Tavern, 5433 Ballard Ave. N.W., 784-4880, sunsettavern. com. 9 p.m. $8.

BRANDON KEELY Local singer/songwriter boasts a smooth baritone and a new album, Cycles. With Beth Whitney, Dillon Warnek. Columbia City Theater, 4918 Rainier Ave. S., 723-0088, columbiacitytheater.com.

8 p.m. $5.

PREE The latest project from singer/guitarist May Tabol (Le Loup) recalls the fractured indie-pop of Regina Spektor. With Scruptious & The Back Beat, Lucy Bland.

High Dive, 513 N. 36th St., 632-0212, highdiveseattle. com. 8 p.m. $6.

SUN ARAW Rambling psychedelic tunes, best evidenced by the sprawling Ancient Romans double LP, characterize Cameron Stallone’s solo act. With MatthewDavid, M. Geddes Gengras, Diva. JewelBox/Rendezvous, 2322 Second Ave., 441-5823, jewelboxtheater.com. 9 p.m. $10.

THE TING TINGS Four years after their much-hyped debut, the British dance-pop duo of Jules de Martino

Neko Case’s regular sidekick, Kelly Hogan, plays the Triple Door on Monday, April 2.

CHARLOTTE KESL

Editor’s Note: Regular readers will no

39

CONCERT SERIES

TWO NIGHTS!

THIS THU & FRI MAR 29 & 30 • MARKET

DARK STAR ORCHESTRA

TRY MUSIomC LIVE COUN ww w.littleredhen.c THURSDAY MARCH 29

CONTINUING THE GRATEFUL DEAD EXPERIENCE

ROY KAY TRIO 9PM - $3 COVER

FRIDAY & SATURDAY MARCH 30 & 31

BUCKAROO BLUES 9PM - $5 COVER

SATURDAY: PARTY ANIMAL THEME NIGHT: CONNIE’S BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION! SUNDAY APRIL 1

JUKEHOUSE HOUNDS 9PM - $3 COVER 4PM - OPEN MIC NIGHT W/ BILLY BODACIOUS TUESDAY APRIL 3

TEQUILA ROSE 9PM

EVERY MONDAY AND WEDNESDAY

KARAOKE WITH DJ FORREST GUMP

WED APR 4 • MARKET

9:00PM • NO COVER

7PM DOORS • ALL AGES

FREE COUNTRY DANCE LESSONS WITH OUR HOST MARYANN AT 8PM; SUN, MON, TUES

SAT APR 7 • MARKET

HAPPY HOUR 9AM-NOON & 4-7 PM

7PM DOORS • ALL AGES

WELL DRINKS & DOMESTIC BOTTLED BEER $2 16 OZ. MICROS $3.50 DINNER: 5-10PM EVERYDAY BREAKFAST & LUNCH: SAT 8AM-2PM / SUN 9AM-2PM 7115 WOODLAWN AVENUE NE 522-1168

HOMETOWN TOUR

UNCLE KRACKER

tractor www.tractortavern.com

with SONIA LEIGH, TY STONE TUE APR 10 THE TRIPLE DOOR

WED APR 11 • MARKET 7PM DOORS • 21+

5213 BALLARD AVE. NW • 789-3599

WED, MARCH 28

SUN, 4/1 8PM ~ $12ADV/$15DOS INDIE SINGER-SONGWRITER FOR THE WEAKERTHANS

AMY RAY AND HER BAND ~ SOLD OUT!

JOHN K SAMSON & THE PROVINCIAL BAND

Seattle weekly • M ARCH 28 - Apri l 3, 2012

6:30PM DOORS • ALL AGES

40

“Piano Talk Show” An evening with

The Time Capsule Tour

THOMAS DOLBY with AARON JONAH LEWIS, BEN BELCHER UP AND COMING:

THE TING TINGS | MAR 28 | MARKET • MINDLESS SELF INDULGENCE | MAR 28 |

SODO • NIT GRIT & TWO FRESH | MAR 30 | NEUMOS • CAROLINA CHOCOLATE DROPS | MAR 31 | MARKET • ANI DIFRANCO | APR 1 | MARKET • AWOLNATION | APR 6 | SODO • SLEIGH BELLS | APR 8 | SODO • KASABIAN | APR 10 | MARKET • ODD FUTURE | APR 11 | SODO • MT EDEN | APR 12 | MARKET • DYNAMIC DUO | APR 13 | MARKET • DOM KENNEDY | APR 14 | MARKET • SLAUGHTERHOUSE | APR 15 | MARKET • ESCAPE THE FATE & ATTACK AT-

FRI| APR JAN1620 • ALL AGES TACK! | MARKET • GREENSKY BLUEGRASS | APR 19 | MARKET • SUPER GEEK LEAGUE & LACERO | APR 20 SAT JAN 21 • SOULJAHZ 21+ | MARKET • REBEL & NESIAN N.I.N.E. | APR 20 | SODO • YONDER MOUNTAIN STRING BAND | APR 21 | SODO • THE NAKED AND FAMOUS | APR 24 | SODO • DJ SHADOW | APR 25 | MARKET • BRAD | APR 27 | MARKET • ANDRE NICKATINA | APR 28 | MARKET • ZEDS DEAD | APR 28 | SODO • HUNTER HAYES | MAY 1 | MARKET • TECH N9NE | MAY 5 | SODO • YANN TIERSEN | MAY 8 | MARKET

THUR, 3/29 9PM ~ $15 THE TRACTOR & 91.3 KBCS PRESENT ACCLAIMED FOLKOPERA FROM CELEBRATED SINGER/SONGWRITER

SHOTGUN JIMMIE

ANAIS MITCHELL PRESETS ‘HADESTOWN’

WITH SPECIAL GUESTS INCLUDING CORIN TUCKER AS PERSEPHONE, NICK JAINA FROM PORTLAND, ADAM SHEARER OF WEINLAND AND MANY MORE!

TUE, 4/3 8PM ~ $15ADV/$18DOS SINGER/SONGWRITER & CLAWHAMMER BANJO PLAYER

ABIGAIL WASHBURN

FRI, 3/30 9:30PM ~ $12 PSYCH-FOLK INDIE ROCK FROM DURHAM, N. CAROLINA

MEGAFAUN FIELD REPORT RORY JAMES & THE MAJESTIC SAT, 3/31 9:30PM ~ $8 LOCAL INDIE ROCK

DANIEL KIRKPATRICK

AND THE BAYONETS TOM EDDY THE SYNTHONY

SEAT SHOWED

OLD MAN LUEDECKE

WED, APRIL 4

RUSTED ROOT ~ SOLD OUT! THUR, 4/5 9PM ~ $12 POST-POP FROM PORTLAND, OR

TYPHOON

LAKE YOU ARE PLURAL

TIMES LISTED ARE SHOW TIMES. DOORS OPEN 30-60 MINUTES BEFORE

SHOWBOX AT THE MARKET 1426 1ST AVENUE SHOWBOX SODO 1700 1ST AVENUE S. SHOWBOXONLINE.COM

&UCOPMING:

4/6 & 4/7 REBIRTH BRASS BAND, THE REVIVALIST 4/8 DREW VICTOR album release show, ALICE IN THE RIVER, GHOSTS I’VE MET 4/9 MONDAY SQUARE DANCE with THE TALLBOYS 4/10 HANNI EL KHATIB, TIJUANA PANTHERS, THE SUNDELLES 4/11 THE AWFULLY SUDDEN DEATH OF MARTHA G, KITHKIN, THE HOOT HOOTS 4/12 TOMTEN ep release show, EIGHTEEN INDIVIDUAL EYES, RULER 4/13 THE MISSIONARY POSITION album release party, FOX AND THE LAW, ALMA ROSA 4/14 TEA LEAF GREEN, THE SILENT COMEDY 4/15 THE BROTHERS COMATOSE, WATER TOWER (formally Water Tower Bucket Boys), NETTLE HONEY 4/17 ACID MOTHERS TEMPLE, THE PHANTOM FAMILY HALO 4/18 HENRY AT WAR, OTHER DESERT CITIES, RIVER GIANT album release party 4/19 POLECAT, PERT NEAR SANDSTONE, RATS IN THE GRASS

seven»nights latest album, Every Child a Daughter, Every Moon a Sun, was recorded at Montreal’s Hotel 2 Tango, the studio that birthed Arcade Fire’s Funeral. With Spirit & Cub. Sunset Tavern, 9:30 p.m. $7.

Tuesday, April 3 BOWERBIRDS The folksy North Carolinians’ latest is the

orchestral and intricate The Clearing. With Dry the River. Crocodile. 8 p.m. $12.

SEASTAR Celtic-influenced folk music featuring moody vocals from singer Fae Wiedenhoeft. With Feels Like Yesterday, David Reynolds. High Dive. 8 p.m. $6.

RODRIGO Y GABRIELA AND C.U.B.A. Latin-guitar shredders tour with the Cuban musicians who appear on their latest record, January’s Area 52. Paramount Theatre. 7:30 p.m. $41.25. All ages.

SWAMI RECORDS

duo’s unique pop vision. With Polyrhythmics, Irukandji Physics of Fusion. Nectar, 412 N. 36th St., 632-2020.

8 p.m. $6.

DARK STAR ORCHESTRA The band’s true interpretations of the Grateful Dead canon earned now-former guitarist John Kadlecik a permanent gig with original Deadheads Bob Weir and Phil Lesh in their band Furthur.

Showbox at the Market. 7 p.m. $25 adv./$28 DOS. DONAVON FRANKENREITER Surfer-turned-guitarist and Jack Johnson protégé Frankenreiter specializes in mellow acoustic rock. With Matt Grundy. Crocodile, 2200 Second Ave., 441-7416, thecrocodile.com. 8 p.m. $22.

GLADYS KNIGHT The soul great is playing hooky from her latest gig on Dancing with the Stars to revisit some of her old hits, but don’t be surprised to see her bust some new moves. Snoqualmie Casino Ballroom.

8 p.m. $50-$150.

JIM WHITE The veteran songwriter’s recently released sixth album, Where It Hits You, weaves his trademark tales of the South. With Kris Orlowski, Kate Tucker.

Columbia City Theater. 9 p.m. $10 adv./$12 DOS. RAVENNA WOODS Ever political, RW frontman Chris Cunningham recently debuted a new song inspired

by Ray Bradbury’s classic novel Fahrenheit 451. With The Redwood Plan. Vera Project, 305 Harrison St., 956-8372, theveraproject.org. 7:30 p.m. $11 adv./ $13 DOS. All ages.

Hot Snakes get back at it at Neumos on Monday, April 2.

Saturday, March 31 FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH This L.A. nu-metal act

has quietly produced two gold records, and its third, American Capitalist, debuted at #3 on the Billboard 200 last October. With Soulfly, Windowpane.

Paramount Theatre, 911 Pine St., 467-5510, stgpresents. org. 7 p.m. $32.75. All ages.

IAN MCFERON BAND

This local songwriter’s lyrical Americana has earned comparisons to Ryan Adams. With Kate Lynn Logan. Triple Door, 216 Union St., 838-4333, thetripledoor.net. 8 p.m.

T H I S CO D E $17 adv./$20 DOS. All ages.

TO DOWNLOAD THE FREE LA DISPUTE This postSEATTLE WEEKLY hardcore group released IPHONE/ANDROID APP its sophomore album FOR MORE CONCERTS OR VISIT seattleweekly.com Wildfire last fall to rave reviews from the likes of Alternative Press. With Balance & Composure, All Get Out, Sainthood Reps.

Vera Project. 7 p.m. $12. All ages.

SCAN

Sunday, April 1 THE ADARNA This local four-piece plays melodic,

Monday, April 2 FILTHY STILL This Rhode Island group melds punk,

bluegrass, and roots music. With Gutter Gourmet, San Pedro el Cortez, Bangalores. Funhouse. 9:30 p.m. $5.

KELLY HOGAN Known for collaborating with Andrew Bird, Drive-By Truckers, and Neko Case, alt-country songstress Hogan has had a fruitful career of her own, too. Triple Door. 7:30 p.m. $15. All ages.

HOT SNAKES Rick Froberg and John Reis are two hellacious shredders who shred best together. Expect their reunited Hot Snakes to scorch Neumos to the ground and stomp on the ashes. With the Bangs, Spider Fever. Neumos, 925 E. Pike St., 709-9467, neumos.com. 8 p.m. $15.

THE WOODEN SKY These Canadian indie rockers’

Seatt le w eekly • M ARCH 28 - April 3, 2012

radio-ready modern rock. With Sea of Misinformation.

Jewelbox/Rendezvous. 9 p.m. $5.

DEVILDRIVER These Santa Barbara metalheads top tonight’s bill, which is rounded out by a nine-band undercard. Studio Seven. 4 p.m. $23 adv./$25 DOS. All ages.

THE DREAMING Singer Christopher Hall’s current band’s streamlined modern-rock sound contrasts that of his old one, industrial titans Stabbing Westward.

With Prelude to a Pistol. El Corazon. 7:30 p.m. $10 adv./$12 DOS. All ages.

KAMIKAZE QUEENS Flamboyant cabaret punk from Germany, with two singers, an upright bass, and a lot of makeup. With Atomic Bride, Little Black Bottles.

Funhouse, 206 Fifth Ave. N., 374-8400, thefunhouse seattle.com. 9:30 p.m. $8.

41

S.A.M. Collective

4023 Aurora Ave. N. Daily Specials

Sunday - Free Joint | Monday - 4 gram 1/8ths Tuesday - Free Cookie | Wednesday - 10% off Thursday - $5 off Hash, Tincture, etc.

Friday - Free Joint | Saturday - 10% off HOURS: M-F 10:30-7 | SAT 12-6| SUN 12-5 Parking Available Follow Us on Facebook

206-632-4023

Call for Doctor recommendations.

Seattle weekly • M ARCH 28 - Apri l 3, 2012

SEATTLE WEEKLY is now available on AMAZON’s KINDLE & KINDLE FIRE

42

Medical Cannabis Authorization Pain Management Referrals Alternative Therapy Nutritional Planning

Try it fre for the fi e two wee rst ks!

24 Hour Online Verification RCW Compliant I.D. Cards Discounts For Low Income & Vets

Non-profit collective providing quality dry meds ranging from $7 to $10 a gram and a full range of mmj products.

All top shelf (price includes tax) Free Joint for New Patients 206-722-4954 3216 Rainier Ave S, Seattle, WA 98144 253-472-0192 8236 Pacific Ave, Tacoma, WA 98408

column»Toke Signals

One Man, One Price

BY STEVE ELLIOTT

T

he Holistic Choices, a medical-

BLOG ON » POT TOKEOFTHETOWN.COM

x

100% Vegan Organic

True A++ Grade Medicine World-Class Genetics Grown in Vegan Organic Soil

Call NOW for Delivery! 206.495.5498 Or Check out http://seattlesbestcannabis.net

dryness at all. But he felt compelled to point it out all the same.

Besides the $10 grams, another great thing about THC is that it offers mix-andmatch ounces for $250, whether ot not all 28 grams are of one strain—or, as Ric told me, “If I have 28 strains and you get a gram of each, it’s still a $250 donation.”

I selected one sativa-dominant hybrid, Super Silver Haze, and one indica, the mysterious W-7 (exclusive to The Holistic Choices).

When everything in the house is $10, you don’t want to waste the opportunity.

Super Silver Haze, a sensation on the cannabis scene about 15 years ago, has resinous and pungent flowers which combine a floral sweetness with skunky undertones. It offers a full-body stone and, it turns out, is one of those stress-reducer “musing” strains that lends itself to an afternoon of philosophical reflection.

W-7 is an unusual, light lime-green indica strain that you won’t find anywhere else. As Ric promised, it was a strong pain reliever, sedative, and sleep aid.

S.A.M. COLLE

Refreshingly, there’s a straight-across-the-board $10 rate for everything in the house.

S.A.M. COLLECTIVE

The Holistic Choices is in the bright green house at 4231 Sixth Ave. N.W. (between Northwest 42nd Street & Leary Way).

It’s open 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. Monday through Saturday, and is closed on Sundays. E Steve Elliott edits Toke of the Town, Village Voice Media’s site of cannabis news, views, rumor, and humor.

MEDICINE MAN MEDICINE MAN WELLNESS CENTER WELLNESS CENTER

TOKE SIGNALS WANTS TO REVIEW YOUR DISPENSARY E-mail tokesignals@seattleweekly.com.

20% OFF ALL NEW PATIENTS

Celebrating our New Low Prices and New Summer Clinic Hours ** Starting June 28, 2011 ** New Clinic Times: Tues 4–6 Fri 12-2 Sat **starting JULY 2ND ** 10–2

New Hours: M-F 12:00 – 7:00 Saturday 10:00 – 5:00 Sunday 12:00 – 5:00

Best Price InLow Town Celebrating our New Prices New Hours: M-F 12 and New Summer Clinic Hours - Bring this ad for an extra 10% off $99 - Includes Authorization and Card 10:00 – For weekly specials, follow us on Saturday Facebook Bring this ad and receive **Verification Starting June 28, 2011 ** provided 7 days a week!

4023 Aurora Ave. N. Seattle, WA 98103 Sunday 12:00 – an additional $25.004–6 OFFFri 12-2 www.samcollective.org New Clinic Times: Tues (206)Bring 632-4023 this ad for an ex 4021 Aurora Ave N. Seattle, WA 98103 Educational Seminars Sat **starting•JULY 2ND ** 10–2 A non-profit organization in accordance with chapter RCW 69.51A 206-632-4021 seattlealt@yahoo.com Every Sunday 12:00 - 1:00

Bring this ad and receive available$25.00 Tuesday OFF 2-6, anDoctors additional Friday 11-3, and Sunday 1-4 100% ORGANIC 4021 Aurora AveAveN. Seattle, WA 98103 4021 Aurora N. Seattle, WA 98103 AND TESTED206-632-4021 • seattlealt@yahoo.com 9240 2nd Ave SW, Suite 200 98106 206.535.7645 surecan.org In the Arrowhead Gardens Complex

Seatt le w eekly • M ARCH 28 - April 3, 2012

marijuana collective in Frelard, offers 25 strains of flowers, and you never have to wonder what the per-gram donation’s going to be for any of them. Refreshingly, there’s a straightacross-the-board $10 rate for everything in the house. Since some strains would almost certainly go for $15 at certain other collectives, this is a compelling reason to visit.

Once I’d slipped my tamper-proof authorization form and Washington I.D. through a tiny slot at the bottom of a bulletproof glass window, owner Ric admitted me to a waiting area full of original works of art. I learned that all the paintings were by local artists, and were available for sale to interested patients; in so doing, The Holistic Choices helps support the local arts community.

THC (nice acronym, huh?) also has an exclusive license in the area to market Raydiant Titanium Vapor Engine hash-oil pipes. (Kits, including a cleaner, dabber, and extra parts, are available for a $100 donation.) The pipe features a “skillet” on which one does “dabs” of oil. I tried it, and it worked spectacularly well—one good toke and you’re off to the races. (Ric showed me the lab results for his in-house hash oil, which tested at 69 percent THC.) I was even more impressed with THC once I learned it’s a one-man operation.

Owner Ric is the budtender and the receptionist. He’s also pleasingly forthright about the condition of his medicine.

I examined about eight of his strains.

With two, he was quick to alert me to the dryness of the flowers. They weren’t crumbling to dust; in fact, I barely noticed the

206-632-4021

www.medicinemancompassioncare.org

For weekly specials, follow u

4023 Aurora Ave. N. Seatt www.samcollectiv

(206) 632-40

A non-profit organization in accordance wi

43

adult entertainment In & Out 24/7

Nivea 206.307.4444

206-661-7295

Michelle dategirl»By Judy McGuire

Upscale Gents / Serious Only Outcall - Specials 24/7 Pure Pleasure

actual photo

Rachael

New

Nikki

Outcall Sexy UW Student

Veronica Blonde

Stephanie

38 H’s / In & Out

Sweet N' Sassy Coed Hottie 24/7 Outcalls

2 Girl Special 808-321-3666

206-661-5437

206-499-6878

Playful Erotic Fun! 2 Girl Fantasies Debit/Credit Accepted

Dear Dategirl, My 40s have been horrible for dating, so Outcalls 24/7 in the spirit of being willing to try anything, Credit Cards Accepted I signed up for eHarmony. It cost real money, Sensational Encounters Unlimited but I thought they would at least have 1 (800) 794-4729 guys around my age who were lookSeattle Tacoma •Long Blonde Hair ing for a relationship, not just a •Green Eyes hookup. So far, eHarmony has •Sexy sent me nothing but much-older Stunning sad-dads and grandfathers— active seniors—from neighboring states. Never mind that I www.sencountersunltd.com Discreet & Reliable • Hiring specified my preference for guys around my age in the immediate urban area.

ACtuAl Photo The latest from eHarm was 2 Girl Specials Outcall Specials 24/7 an e-mail breathlessly promising 206.618.4007 that “Fred,” a banker, was a “highly compatible” prospect who matched me on several key levels of deep compatibility. When I opened the profile, there was no photo and all his answers were x’s. As in “the thing I am most passionate about” is “xxx.”

What a joke.

Am I a chump? How is a woman in her 40s supposed to meet guys? This eHarmony debacle took me for $200, and I haven’t had GFE Brazilian Diva Incall/Outcall a single date. I am attractive, independent, sexy—really not into dating a 69-year-old retiree living two states away. Can you advise?

No Habla Español —Unharmonious

IC/OC 206-491-9536 206-369-3767

Hazel BBW 42J

BROWN SUGA

&

Chelsee

www.veronicablonde.com

510-684-4942

Hot, Young, Sexy, Blond Playmate

206-915-6112

206-510-2888

Erica

Nia206-372-9939

To Advertise: •Escorts • Phone •Massage • And More...

Call 206.467.4309

In and Outcall Avaliable 24/7

206-473-9979 In/Out Hotel Friendly

24/7 - IC/OC - Appt. Only

206-538-4388

Bali Spa

Asian Body Shampoo Sauna

Under new ManageMent

Ask our friendly new Asian staff for our special!

1084 Kirkland Ave. NE / Renton, WA 7 days a week / 10am – 10pm

425-228-8268

(206) 243-2393

Tantra & Sensual Massage PARVATI msparvati.com 206-913-7686

425-463-9908

Brazilian Hot Oil

44 lillithalexander.com

$170

Seattle Area. *82 425.531.1407

WANT MORE? Listen to Judy on The Mike & Judy Show on the Heritage Radio Network, follow her tweets @DailyDategirl, or visit dategirl.net.

Lady Au ro ra

The Sweetest Bi tc h you'll Ever Meet

N. Seattle In/Out 206-214-7759

13985 Interurban Ave., Suite 200 Tukwila, WA 98168

Sexy Shemale Alexis

dategirl@seattleweekly.com

Toy Play

10AM - 9PM

Let me be your masseuse for a complete bodywork to get rid of your stress and muscle needs.

hours and/or states away. Color me picky, but I’m not going to pursue a relationship with Charlie, the 65-year-old retired stamp collector from Phoenix.

If I were at all surprised by this turn of events, I’d try to contact someone in customer service, and they would issue some bullshit response about their “patented 29 Dimensions™ of Compatibility.” But I’m not surprised they ripped you off, so why bother? Type “eHarmony” and “scam” into Google and watch what happens.

For one thing, this is a company that had to be sued into letting gay people join their service.

In fact, they’re so afraid of catching the gay that they set up a separate site called “Compatible Partners.” Hot, right? Is that for landing ass or picking a bridge buddy? My guess is the latter. For another, they’re a proud sponsor of Rush Limbaugh’s show.

I know tons of couples who’ve met online, yet absolutely zero who’ve met through eHarmony. My friend Jay once went out with a nut he met there, but she spent their entire date trying to rope him into Landmark Forum. My advice: Call your credit-card company and see if they can reverse the charges. You’re not eHarmony’s first disgruntled customer, believe me. Keep an eye on your statements, too, because they’ve been known to keep billing. Then I’d give online dating another try, but stick to sites that let you do the picking: Match, Nerve, OkCupid . . . hell, even Craigslist is better than eHarmony. E

FETISH

Mistress Lexi Breast Worship

Open 7 Days a Week

For 1 hour session

I/C Downtown

TS ENTERTAINMENT

GRAND OPENING

10 off with this ad!

The Ultimate Body Rub

The first rule of online dating is to avoid eHarmony. This is a company based on matching churchy seniors with other churchy seniors. Back when I was on the market, I also filled out their laborious questionnaire. I recall that fully half the questions were about my religious beliefs, of which I have none. Like you, the few “compatible” matches consisted solely of far-older gentlemen who lived an average of three to four

Vina Sauna

$

206-795-4188

Seattle weekly • M ARCH 28 - Apri l 3, 2012

sensual

Lillith

Harm Me With eHarmony

Sensual Massage 425.463.9908

TRANSSEXUAL 27YR & 5’7 GREAT BODY BI-RACIAL NICE SURPRISE

TS SUMMER

646-996-4376

Call to place your Adult Classified ads.

206-467-4309

w w w.LadyAu ro ra.net

206-669-4582 P rofessional Domination

Mistress Victoria Rage

Seattle Dominatrix 206.795.4188 10am - Midnight www.victoriarage.com

Professional Domination

Mistress Danielle (206) 760-1992 mistressdanielle.net

CALL TO PLACE YOUR ADULT AD

206.467.4309

adult phone services

MEET

L REA MEN!

Seattle

206.877.0877

Tacoma 253.882.0882

FREE CODE: SEATTLE WEEKLY

Other local numbers:

1-­888-­634-­2628

Adult Entertainment 930 Adult Services FREE PARTYLINE! 712-338-7738 18+ Normal LD Applies Sexy Swinger's line!

1-800-960-4328 1-800-785-2833 Sexy Local Girls!

1-888-660-4446 1-800-990-9377 Hot live Chat!!!

1-888-404-3330 1-800-928-MEET (6338) Private Connections Try it free!

1-712-338-7739 Normal LD Applies 18+ FUN, FLIRTY, LOCAL WOMEN Call FREE! 206-576-2411 or 800-210-1010 18+ www.livelinks.com FUN, FLIRTY, LOCAL WOMEN Call FREE! 206-576-2411 or 800-210-1010 18+ www.livelinks.com MEN SEEKING MEN 1-877-409-8884 Gay hot phone chat, 24/7! Talk to or meet sexy guys in your area anytime you need it.

Fulfill your wildest fantasies.

Private & confidential.

Guys always available.

1-877-409-8884 Free to try. 18+

100s of HOT urban singles are looking to hookup NOW! 18+. Try if FREE! 206-866-2002 425-297-4444 253-590-0303

#1 SEXIEST CHAT! Join the party with local singles! FREE to try! 18+ 206-577-9966 425-953-1111 253-444-2500

#1 Chat in Seattle!

HOT LOCAL SINGLES! 18+ try it FREE! 206-812-2900 425-791-2900 253-579-3000

MEET HOT LOCAL MEN Listen to ads FREE! 206-877-0877 Use FREE code 5831, 18+

100s of HOT local Singles Try it FREE!! Call NOW! 18+ 206-812-2900 425-791-2900 253-579-3000

965 Adult Employment

$10 BEST PHONE SEX $10

Asian Nymphs; Ebony Hotties; 40+Ladies; Barely Legal Coeds; Or Fetish & Fantasy. Only $10!

U CHOOSE THE MODEL 18+ Just Call 1-866-515-FOXY(3699)

960 Phone Entertainment

Classified Ads Get Results!

Rules for acceptance of adult entertainment ads in Seattle Weekly: * Seattle Weekly does not accept ads promoting or soliciting illegal conduct.

Reply to Ads!

1-­888-­MegaMates

TM

24/7 Customer Care 1(888) 634.2628 18+ ©2012 PC LLC 2227

* It is the responsibility of the advertiser to conform its business activity to applicable law. * Seattle Weekly will accept no adult entertainment ads from anyone other than the person being represented in the advertisement. * Seattle Weekly requires a valid photo ID from the person placing the ad confirming they are 18 years of age or older as well as a signed photo/model release form. * All first time advertisers must physically come to the SW offices to place their ad so visual comparison to ID can be confirmed.

Call to place your Adult Classified ads.

206-467-4309

Seatt le w eekly • M ARCH 28 - April 3, 2012

Always SEXY Chat!

Instant live phone connections FREE to try 18+ 206-577-9966 425-953-1111 253-444-2500

REE F to Listen &

45

PLACE YOUR AD TODAY • 206-623-6231 CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808 www.cash4car.com (AAN CAN)

500 Services 510 515 520 525 527 530 535 536 537 540

533 Home Services

Bus Services Computer Services Financial Services Legal Services Legal Notices Misc. Services Personal Services Childcare Adoptions Travel/Getaways

SILLY SISTERS

ONLINE ADS AND PHOTOS AT WWW.BACKPAGE.COM 615 Music Instruction

600 Music 605 610 615 620 625

MUSIC, SERVICES & WELLNESS CELLO LESSONS

GUITAR LESSONS Exp'd, Patient Teacher. BFA/MM Brian Oates (206) 434-1942

Professional Relaxing, Therapeutic Massage

JOYFUL HOUSECLEANING

206-367-0375

THERE’S ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND THE

BEST SUSHI

530 Misc. Services WANTS TO purchase minerals and other oil & gas interests.

Send details to P.O. Box 13557, Denver, Co 80201

bestof.voiceplaces.com NOW ON ANDROID & IPHONE

AI Massage

605 Musicians Available/Wanted Don McLean Vocalist Needed to Perform a Parody of American Pie @ WAMU Theater on April 11th.

Compensation - $1,200 Call Jeff @ (206)-552-7901

Northend Massage For Your Health

Laurie LMP, 206 919-2180

www.nemassage.com

800 Health & Wellness 805 Licensed Massage 807 Unlicensed Massage 815 Mind, Body, Spirit

18119 East Valley HWY S. #103 Kent WA 98032 Open 7 Days: 10:30am to 9:00pm

@WeeklyEvents

Tokyo Spa - Excellent Massage - Body Shampoo 1233 164th St Sw Lynnwood WA 98037 (425) 743-6796

Relaxing, Professional 1250 SW 43rd St., Renton

206-326-9997

**************** DONATE YOUR CAR! Tax Write-off/Fast Pickup Running or not.

Cancer Fund Of America.

(888) 269-6482

Bodywork for Men Luke

Open Sky Healing Art

400 Buy-Sell-Trade 410 412 415 423 425 430 431 432 433 435 436 437 440 445 450 455 460 470 475

Antiques, Arts, Collectibles Appliances Auctions Auto Parts Boats Clothing & Accessories Electronics Garage/Yard Sales Free Furniture Jewelry Lost & Found Motorcycle Miscellaneous Pets, Pet Supplies Sports Equipment Tickets Tools Wanted/Trade

LOAD PP N W O D A Find nearby restaurant listings and reviews plus music events and slideshows.

All the best from seattleweekly.com rolled up into one sweet app! FREE!

Classified Ads Get Results! h of Class Spa Touc

Massage, Sauna, Jacuzzi Open Daily 9:30am - 9:30pm

206-588-3096

2227 4th Ave. S. Seattle, WA 98134 MAGIC RentonHANDS Island SpaSPA

MA60197040

10631 NE 8th • Bellevue, 98004 Detox Foot Soak, 425-455-2636 Reflexology, Ionic Foot Soak,massage Early Bird Special 8am-2pm $29-$45 Couple Special $60 for 120 min.

Negative Energy - $20, Free Foot Refl exology •Lomi AuriCular $30, Hawaiian Lomi Therapy Chinese Acupressure & Swedish Deep Tissue exology, Hot Stone Massage, Thai Massage, DeepRefl Tissue, 4 Hand Special, Herbal Facials, Tai with Chi Facial Acupressure Treatment Herb Massage,

Hao Spa New Location Grand Opening at 15650 24th Ave St. NE Ste-E Bellevue WA 98008 (425) 451-8876

Herbal Foot Baths & Steam, Ionic Detox Foot Bath $30 LMP, Therapeutic ONLY Lic# MA00020273

Seattle weekly • M ARCH 28 - Apri l 3, 2012

Deep Tissue, Swedish, Combination of all Asian Massage.

Alternative Therapy, and Very Sweet Friendly Staff.

425-743-3636 14626 HWY 99 Unit 104 Lynwood, WA 98037 -Side Entrance-

Lic# MA00012944

Body Shampoo Sauna Expert Massage Come and see us You won’t be disappointed

13811 HIGHWAY 99 LYNNWOOD WA 98037

425-743-6183

KIRKLAND HERBAL SPA

11200 Kirkland Way Suite 310 • Kirkland, WA 98033 425-636-8601 • 425-442-5153 Early Bird Special 8am-2pm $29-$45 massage Couple Special $60 for 120 min.

Free Foot Reflexology • AuriCular Therapy Chinese Acupressure & Swedish Deep Tissue Reflexology, 4 Hand Special, Herbal Facials, Tai Chi Facial Massage, Herbal Foot Baths & Steam, Ionic Detox Foot Bath $30 LMP, Therapeutic ONLY Lic# MA00020273

GRAND OPENING

Table Shower, Herbal Jacuzzi, Tibet Herbal Facial & Chinese Massage

11516 -124 AVE NE Ste CB • Kirkland, WA 98033

425-968-8661

Open 7days/week 10am to midnight

Factoria Herbal Spa ACUPUNCTURE $35 SPECIAL MA60197040

46

Golden Spa

KING’S MASSAGE

50% off for: • All Styles of Massage • Foot Bath & Massage • Men’s & Women’s Age Defying Facials • Chinese Accupuncture or Cupping Treatment • Weight-Losing, waxing, etc.

Magic Hand Healing Training Center Japanese Reiki, Chinese Qigong class levels 1, 2 and 3

206-772-8899 | 206-883-2255 879 Rainier Ave N #A201, 98055

Best Asian Full Body Massage

Classified Ads Get Results! the

810 Health

North Seattle 206-789-6040

Car accident insurance accepted

420 Auto-Truck

815 Mind Body Spirit

Bellevue 425-372-8157 Edmonds 425-223-8048

206-323-9646 Massage+acupressure+reflex Full Body. Charlie #9492 206-501-1706. Downtown

MIND • BODY • HEALTH

ORIENTAL SPA

Soothing Hands On or Off Site

805 Licensed Massage

Call-in appointment & walk-ins welcome

253-981-6680

MASSAGE FOR MEN

www.bodyworkman.com John 206.324.0682 LMP#MA8718 10-9 (off Wed & Sun)

All Levels, ages. 206-282-2777

Musicians Avail./Wanted Musician’s Services Music Instruction Music Equip/Instruments Plug the Band

1hr-$45/1.5-$65/2hrs-$85

Music Text Alerts

Text SWMusic to 61721

s, and more!

Ticket offers, presale Message and data rates may apply. To opt out at anytime, reply STOP to 61721. For help, text HELP to 61721, call 1-877-291-1751 or email info@phaz2.com

EMPLOYMENT

RENTALS & REAL ESTATE

PLACE YOUR AD TODAY • 206-623-6231 FREE ONLINE ADS AND PHOTOS AT WWW.BACKPAGE.COM

167 Restaurants/Hotels/Clubs

102 103 105 110 112 120 125 127 140 145 150 155 160 167 170 172 175 177 180 183 185 187 190 193 195 198 130

Architecture/Engineering Auditions/Show Biz Career/Training/Schools Computer/Technical Construction/Labor Drivers/Delivery/Courier Domestic Education Financial/Accounting Management/Professional Medical/Dental/Health Medical Research Studies Office/Clerical Restaurants/Hotels/Clubs Retail Sales and Marketing Telemarketing/Call Center Salons Security/Law Enforcement Trades Miscellaneous Part-Time Jobs Business Opportunities Employment Information Position Wanted Non-Profit Entertainment

102 Architecture/Engineering Engineering Philips Electronics North America Corporation has the following job opportunity available in Bothell, WA: Software Development Engineer (SDE05-WA) - Design, implement, and deploy applications and internal web pages to manage manufacturing inventory, assembly and test instructions, manufacturing product flow, and manufacturing statistics and reporting.

Submit resume by mail to: Philips People Services, International Mobility, 200 Minuteman Road, MS 5303, Andover, MA 01810.

Must reference job title and job code (SDE05-WA).

BECOME A BARTENDER! Up to $300 a day.

No exp necessary.

Training Courses Available.

1-800-965-6520 x 309.

172 Sales and Marketing Undercover Shoppers Get paid to shop. Retail/Dining establishments need undercover clients to judge quality/ customer service. Earn up to $150 a day. Call (800)722-6351

177 Salons

193 Employment Information Paid In Advance! Make $1000 a Week mailing brochures from home! Guaranteed Income! FREE Supplies! No experience required.

Start Immediately! www.homemailerprogram.net (AAN CAN)

Find it, rent it, buy it, sell it...

Call classifieds today (206) 623-6231 Single Condo seeks fun couple for long-term commitment

317 Apartments for Rent

300 Rentals 305 307 310 315 320 330 340 350

355 Roommates 360 Rooms for Rent 363 Roommate Services Apartment/Condo/Townhome 365 370 House/Duplexes for Rent Short Term/Corporate Housing 380 Manufactured Home Rentals 390 Vacation

Out of Town Storage Boat/Dockage Comm Rentals Rentals Wanted Miscellaneous Rental Services

SEATTLE Starting at $350 Green Lake, U-District, Wallingford, Greenwood. Lg., clean, well maintained houses. Fully equip. common areas. Free phone and cable, NS/NP. 206-388-3924 www.RoomsAndApartments.com

185 Miscellaneous

BELLTOWN $700-$850 Studios $700. 1 bds with water view $850.

2 blocks to Pike Place Market & Westlake Center.

Light and airy, views, storage. 206-441-4922

UNIVERSITY DISTRICT 1 and 2 BR Apts. $850-$1,250 5 min. to UW. Parking available!

(206) 441-4922

350 Vacation

307 Rooms for Rent Greenlake/West Seattle $400 & up Utilities included! busline, some with private bathrooms a Please call Anna between 10am & 8pm a 206-790-5342

Spa is Hiring for Professional Licensed Masseuse.

Call 206-883-8881

Two Ocean Front Homes 20% OFF DISCOUNT* Newport Oregon Area Fully Furnished. Private beach access. Pets OK. Sleep 9-14 $225/Night Mid Week Discounts Available. (*Excludes Holidays). 503-678-1144

BEST SUSHI THERE’S ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND THE

U-DISTRICT $400-$480 All Utilities Included! Call Sue for more information (206) 683-3783 or (206) 551-7472

$$$HELP WANTED$$$ Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operators Now! 1-800-405-7619 EXT 2450 www.easyworkjobs.com (AAN CAN) Help Wanted!!! Make extra income mailing our brochures from home! Genuine Opportunity! No exp. required. Start Immediately! www.theworkhub.net

PLACE YOUR AD TODAY • 206-623-6231 FREE ONLINE ADS AND PHOTOS AT WWW.BACKPAGE.COM

310 Roommate Services

CLASSIFIEDS

bestof.voiceplaces.com

ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http://www.Roommates.com. (AAN CAN)

206-623-6231 • seattleweekly.com We reach 3/4 of a million people in print and online per month.

NOW ON ANDROID & IPHONE

bulletin board 527 Legal Notices

595 Volunteers

HUD Subsidized Housing Waiting List Opening: HUD Housing located at Sunset House Apartments, 2519 1st Avenue, Seattle, WA 98121 will begin accepting pre-applications to be placed on the wait list as of 3/31/12. Interested applicants may contact Bellwether at (206) 623-0506 or visit our website at www.bellwetherhousing.org for eligibility requirements and pre-application. Pre-applications will be placed on the wait list in order of date and time received.

ASTHMA STUDY University of Washington researchers are seeking volunteers to participate in a study about the causes of asthma. There will be up to seven visits at the medical center involving diagnostic tests for asthma, 3 exercise tests and 2 medical procedures called a bronchoscopy. Compensation will be provided for time and inconvenience. To qualify, you must be 18-59 yrs old, be available on a Tues. or Thurs., have a physician diagnosis of asthma, be in good physical condition, be a non-smoker, able to exercise vigorously on a treadmill and have no other major health problems. For more information contact the study coordinator at (206) 221-6393 or uwasthma@u.washington.edu (The confidentiality of email cannot be guaranteed)

537 Child Adoption ADOPT: sssssss California Music Executive, close-knit family, beaches, sports, playful pup, unconditional LOVE awaits 1st miracle baby.

Expenses paid sssss 1-800-561-9323 sssss sssss

Why our Canvassers LOVE working for Us! No selling involved, Offer Free Estimates to Home Owners & Set Appointments with them!

Our Reps don’t have to meet at an office each day.

Job Description: Canvass door-to-door and set up residential appointments for our tree consultants.

* We are a Recession Proof Industry in business since 1986 * Work as much as you want! No lack of work here, We never lay people off. * Flexible Schedule * Work Outdoors * Casual Work Attire * $$$$ High Income Potential (Top Reps earning up to $60,000/ year) * $$$ Travel, Cell phone & Medical Allowance Available * $$Paid Training & Support * $Extra Incentives, Awards & Contents Offered

Requirements:

* Vehicle & Driver’s License * Cell Phone * Internet Access

Seatt le w eekly • M ARCH 28 - April 3, 2012

PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families nationwide.

LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby's One True Gift Adoptions 866-413-6293 (Void in Illinois) (AAN CAN)

To Apply: Go to www.evergreentlc.com or Call 800-684-8733 ext. 3434 or 3321 or Send resume to recruiting@evergreentlc.com 47

BACK PAGE

®

206.623.6231

Bew Ann Thai Massage

MOST CASH PAID 4 GOLD JEWELRY 20%-50% MORE 24/7 CASH 425.891.1385

Only $49.00 for an hour all day.

Near Crossroads Mall Bellevue.

425-746-1240

WWW.KIRKLANDGOLDBUYER.COM theSandsOnline.com

Paid In Advance!

Make $1000 a Week Mailing brochures from home!

Guaranteed Income! FREE Supplies!

No experience required.

Start Immediately! www.homemailerprogram.net

South Sea Massage Open 10am-11pm 7 days a week (425)922-9271

Southend Room For Rent...$130 a week w/no deposit! Includes Cleaning and Util. 206-762-2757

Free Gram Friday

1st 20 patients of the the day and 1st 20 patients at 4:20pm Free Joint Wednesday and Sunday 25% off edibles Tuesday and Sundays

Medicinal Cannabis / Medical Marijuana Doctor-Nurse Owned Holistic Center Protection of your PRIVACY is #1 24/7 Service: (888) 508-5428 www.AdvancedHolisticHealth.org

Assembling CD cases from Home!

No Experience Necessary!

Call our Live Operators Now!

1-800-405-7619 EXT 2450 Seattle weekly • M ARCH 28 - Apri l 3, 2012

www.easyworkjobs.com

48

Shop and earn $275 - $380/wk. This is a freelance job which will not disturb your present job if you have any.

JOB REQUIREMENTS: *Good business skills *Honest, responsible and industrious *PC, e-mail and internet skills *No starting fee required. For further info contact: debrapletchersh@gmail.com

Free

206.576.2411 Local #s: 1.800.926.6000 Ahora en Español 18+

www.livelinks.com

25% Sodas Monday

The Green Skunk has your week covered!

206.417.1973

*some restrictions apply on all strains except private reserve label

Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: www.Roommates.com PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families nationwide.

LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby's One True Gift Adoptions 866-413-6293 (Void in Illinois)

CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808 www.cash4car.com

Need a MOBILE WEBSITE? Is your website mobile-ready? If not, you could be losing business. We can help build your mobile website today. Very affordable rates. For a free consultation call Matthew Gaine @ 206-467-4316.

AAAA** Donation. Donate Your Car, Boat or Real Estate.

IRS Tax Deductible. Free Pick-Up/Tow. Any Model/ Condition. Help Under Privileged Children Outreach Center 1-800-419-7474.

HAPPYHAULER.com

Debris Removal • 206-784-0313 • Credit Cards Accepted!

Cannabinoid Therapy for Chronic Pain cancer, back pain, migraine, arthritis +more www.CascadiaNaturalHealth.com; 425-486-1858

Private Investigator ANNA'S MED HEALTH SPA-

In compliance with RCW 69.15A

with photos and maps.

WELCOME TO PARADISE. Charming, spacious, recently refurbished, cute as a button, and hipper than all get-out two bedroom apartment in the Ravenna/Maple Leaf area, 3 miles north of the University. One story walk-up; balcony; two large bedrooms; one oversized bathroom; living room; kitchen. Located at the juncture of Lake City Way and Roosevelt. Move in and live on top of Seattle’s famous publisher of comics and graphic novels, Fantagraphics Books. Utilities and free comics included.

Contact Gary at GloriousApartment@fantagraphics.com

Butler Investigations 206-257-0552

11231 Roosevelt Way NE / Seattle, WA 98125 TheGreenSkunk206@gmail.com www.thegreenskunk.com

ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM Browse hundreds of online listings

New! Increased compensation for 1st time egg donors!

Get paid for giving infertile couples the chance to have a baby. Women 21-31 and in good health are encouraged to apply. Compensation up to $4,500.

Email Amy.Smith@integramed.com or Call 206-301-5000

Deep tissue, Relaxing,Chinese healing massage. 425-747-2288 10Am-10Pm www.annamedicalhealthspa.com 1550 140th Avenue NE, Suite 200 Bellevue

DIVORCE from $229 BANKRUPTCY from $299

Debt relief agency for bankruptcy. 206-625-0460 2011 Federal Postal Positions. $13.00-$36.50+/hr., Full Benefits plus Paid Training. No Experience plus Job Security. Call Today! 1-866-477-4953 Ext .152.

NOW HIRING!

Massage Special $20 for 2nd hr 425.214.1279 License # MA00020273 FUN, FLIRTY, LOCAL WOMEN Call FREE! 206-576-2411 or 800-210-1010 18+ www.livelinks.com

Asthma Study

Real hook ups, real fast.

TRY FOR

ACTORS/MOVIE EXTRAS Needed immediately for upcoming roles $150-$300/day depending on job requirements. No experience, all looks.

1-800-560-8672 A-109. For casting times/locations.

Now accepting new patients. 11AM - 8PM 7 days a week

Get Ahh-thorized with AHH!

Extra Income!

Support Big Brothers Big Sisters of Puget Sound FREE PICK UP OF MOST USED VEHICLES Tax Deductible. (206) 248-5982

The Green Skunk Seattle’s Premier Medical Marijuana Collective

Singing Lessons FreeTheVoiceWithin.com Janet Kidder 206-781-5062

$$$HELP WANTED$$$

2bd Top Floor Apt Maple Leaf $1,050/mo.

Donate Your Car, Truck or Motorcycle!

EARN $75 - $200 HOUR. (Now 25% Off ) Media Makeup & Airbrush Training. For Ads, TV, Film, Fashion. 1 wk class. Learn & build portfolio.

AwardMakeUpSchool.com 310-364-0665

FREE COMIC BOOKS w/Apartment Rental

LANDLORD / TENANT / REAL ESTATE

OFFICE: 253.520.5000 TOLL FREE: 877.520.5252

Brian J. Hanis Attorney At Law

6704 S 234TH ST. SUITE 300 KENT, WA 98032 www.HIPLAWFIRM.com

Volunteers needed to participate in a study about the causes of asthma. There will be up to seven visits to the University of Washington Medical Center. You will undergo diagnostic breathing tests for asthma. A total of 3 maximum effort exercise tests, 2 sputum induction tests and 2 medical procedures called bronchoscopy, where a physician uses a lighted tube to look directly at the air passages of the lungs and takes small airway samples. Compensation will be provided for time and inconvenience. You must be: • • • • • • •

18 - 59 years old Have a physician diagnosis of asthma With or without exercise induced symptoms Be in good physical condition Be a non-smoker No other major health problems Be available on Tuesdays or Thursdays

For more information contact the study coordinator at 206-221-6393 or email uwasthma@u.washington.edu.

(The confidentiality of email communication cannot be guaranteed)