Seattle Weekly, April 25, 2012

APRIL 25–MAY 1, 2012 I VOLUME 37 I NUMBER 17

SEATTLEWEEKLY.COM I FREE

STEAK IN THE STICKS PAGE 31 | ERIC GRANDY GETS BASED PAGE 37

SAVING SILENCE To protect the country’s quietest place, one man is making a lot of noise

BY BRYAN SCHATZ

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Seattle weekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

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Seatt le w eekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

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inside» April 25-May 1, 2012 VOLUME 37 | NUMBER 17 » SEATTLEWEEKLY.COM

»11

»21

up front 7

NEWS

THE DAILY WEEKLY | Amazon and

Microsoft’s servers get served. Plus, stripping news on two fronts.

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FEATURE

BY BRYAN SCHATZ | Deep within

Olympic National Park lies the quietest spot in the country. And ace “soundtracker” Gordon Hempton is battling airlines, and the U.S. government, to keep it that way.

19 THE WEEKLY WIRE We get fit, sharpen pencils, and recall the progenitors of grunge.

21 ARTS

21 | OPENING NIGHTS | An audience held hostage and gay romance gone bad.

25 | THE FUSSY EYE | Waiting for the camels to come.

»cover credit

PHOTO BY: ISAAC HERNANDEZ COPYRIGHT © 2012 BY SEATTLE WEEKLY, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. REPRODUCTION IN WHOLE OR IN PART WITHOUT PERMISSION IS PROHIBITED. ISSN 0898 0845 • SEATTLE WEEKLY IS PUBLISHED WEEKLY

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27 FILM

THIS WEEK’S ATTRACTIONS

College girls gone mild! Jason Statham with a gun! Plus: hookers, hookers, and more hookers!

Earrings by Michael Good

31 FOOD

31 | WHERE’S THE BEEF? | In Bow,

Mount Vernon, and Keyport, where three classic steakhouses—each worth a road trip—are riding out hard times.

32 | FIRST CALL | Queemont’s neighborhood anchor.

34 | A LITTLE RASKIN | Reflecting on romantic restaurants.

37 MUSIC

37 | ACE OF BASED | Our “critic to the core” tries taking Lil B as a role model.

38 | REVERB | Rockers go cruising, Stone Gossard goes back to BRAD, and Barboza sets sail.

41 | THE SHORT LIST | Coldplay, Lambchop, Overkill, and more.

other stuff 22 25 29 32 42 47 48

| | | | | | |

PERFORMANCE VISUAL ARTS FILM CALENDAR FEATURED EATS SEVEN NIGHTS TOKE SIGNALS DATEGIRL

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Seatt le w eekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

in back

»31

5 1/11/12 9:05 AM

FIND THE MEDALLION

FINAL DAYS TO SCORE!

Seattle weekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

50 YEARS OF HISTORY

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The search is on now, and the medallion has yet to be found. Read the clues, get your head in the game, and the $9,000 bounty could be yours.

GET A CLUE AT EMERALDCITYSEARCH.ORG Artwork by Howard R. Giske, 1961. Courtesy MOHAI.

news»The Daily Weekly »Dispatches from our news blog

Acid Rain Greenpeace claims cloud computing is bad for the environment.

G

Dan Carino

reenpeace activists are nothing if not determined. If the cause calls for it, they’ll break out the rappelling gear and get down to action—as they did last Thursday at Amazon’s headquarters in South Lake Union, hoisting an 800-square-foot cloud-shaped banner to protest the dirty energy that Greenpeace says Amazon and Microsoft use to power their cloud-computing services. The banner read: “Amazon, Microsoft: How Clean Is Your Cloud?”

Cloud computing means using a network really, really great,” offers Greenpeace IT of remote servers hosted on the Internet to Analyst Casey Harrell, a co-author of the store, manage, and process data. Every time organization’s report. you upload a picture, song, video, or anyMicrosoft’s response to Greenpeace’s thing else, that digital information has to be actions: “Microsoft works hard to drive effistored somewhere, and cloud-computing ciency and sustainability across our operadata centers—typically giant buildings with tions, including our data centers. Our latest massive computer servers that require modular data centers use about 50 percent loads of electricity to operate—are where it less energy than those from three years all goes. ago, and only 1 percent of the water used The issue at hand is where companies like by traditional data centers in the industry.

Amazon and Microsoft choose to locate their On April 16, the company announced that it cloud data hubs and what kind of power had reached its goal of is used to run them. reducing carbon emisFor instance, hubs in sions by 30 percent per Hong Kong are heavPrint is great, but if you unit of revenue below ily powered by coal, want to read about seven... its 2007 baseline. We while those in Sweden ingenious business plans to revolutionize the way we buy booze at auctioned-off engage with a wide are less so. Things like liquor stores in Washington state, you’ll range of environmental temperature and access have to check out The Daily Weekly. sustainability advocates, to reliable, affordable SEATTLEWEEKLY.COM/DAILYWEEKLY including Greenpeace, electricity play into a to inform our efforts to company’s decision reduce our environmental impact.” where to locate them. There are now cloud“As we communicated to this researcher computing data centers all around the world. several weeks ago, we don’t disclose this Microsoft, for instance, recently announced information publicly, but his data and plans to build a new cloud-computing data assumptions about Amazon are inaccurate,” center in Wyoming.

Amazon Public Relations’ Tera Randall says.

Last week’s Greenpeace protest was part “Amazon Web Services believes that cloud of an overarching campaign by the environcomputing is inherently more environmenmental watchdog organization, responding tally friendly than traditional computing. to a recently released study indicating that Instead of each company having their own 34 percent of the electricity used by Amazon data center that serves just them, AWS makes comes from coal-generated power and 30 it possible for hundreds of thousands of percent from nuclear, while Microsoft companies to consolidate their data-center uses 39 percent coal power and 26 percent use into a handful of data centers in the AWS nuclear. Amazon calls the report’s data and Cloud, resulting in much higher utilization assumptions inaccurate. rates and eliminating the waste that occurs “These are really influential companies when data centers don’t operate near their that have a great deal of potential for leadercapacity. The cloud enables a combined ship,” says Greenpeace Media Officer David smaller carbon footprint that significantly Pomerantz. “They have massively large and reduces overall consumption.” very quickly growing cloud infrastructure, Harrell says Greenpeace’s approach was and if they continue to do the wrong thing, created to appeal to Amazon and Microsoft it will push the sector that way, and if they employees, noting that many of them are make a change and do the right thing and choose to go down a clean-energy pathway, it “value-aligned” with Greenpeace’s message. will push the industry in the right direction.”

MATT DRISCOLL “When they improve the impact will be » Continued on page 9

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Seatt le w eekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

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Chihuly Garden and Glass, an exhibition opening May 2012, provides a look at the inspiration and influences that inform the career of artist Dale Chihuly. Located at Seattle Center, Chihuly Garden and Glass includes an Exhibition Hall, the centerpiece Glasshouse and a lush Garden.

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news» The Daily Weekly » from page 7

Full-Body Scan

Dollar a Dance

This Friday & Saturday April 27 & 28

The Pacific Northwest’s music scene is legendary—and every Friday night we serve up a slice of it right here at Crossroads.

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TODD REED TRUNK SHOW

N AVE

Bob Davis’ dream of making money again by not having a strip-club license were dashed recently when a federal judge awarded him one thin dollar for having his rights violated by the city of Seattle. He’d wanted $2.3 million, almost triple what he’d already earned through similar court challenges. But it was still a win, and therefore his attorneys are now able to ask the court to make taxpayers pay for the firm’s $300-an-hour services to the would-be stripper prince, a $138,000 tab.

Davis once operated Giggles Comedy Club and the Urban Comedy Cafe, and is responsible for a lawsuit that forced City Hall to lift its moratorium on new downtown strip clubs in 2007. Unable to open his own club, he has made a decent living through failure: He won $500,000 from Seattle in a 2005 case after proving the city wrongly refused him a club license, and three years later collected $350,000 from the city of Bothell using the same strategy.

The most recent case involves his attempt to open a strip club at the site of Cyndy’s House of Pancakes in north Seattle. The plan was stalled by neighbors and city officials invoking an adult-cabaret requirement that such clubs not be close to schools, child-care centers, or public parks. There, as U.S. Judge Robert Lasnik reminded in his March 27 ruling, the court ruled against the city because it “failed to place limits on the time within which the decisionmaker must issue the license.”

With Cyndy’s, Davis proved he suffered financially as a result of the city’s delay. With Giggles, however, he couldn’t. “[E]ven if the City had moved as fast as Plaintiff now demands, the Court finds that Plaintiff has failed to prove, as a matter of fact, any damages,” ruled Lasnik. “Given the pace at which Plaintiff moved throughout this process, the volatility of the market, and Davis’s own statements, the Court finds it more likely than not that Plaintiff would have done nothing while Davis waited to convert Giggles into Jiggles [another failed strip venture]. Moreover, even were the Court to assume that Plaintiff would have acted promptly to open at an alternate location, the evidence demonstrates that it would have only lost money.”

Still, the $1 award left the door open for attorneys’ fees, which Davis’ lawyer, Kristin Olson, submitted last week. Along with a few other charges, her costs were $134,000, she says, and a second attorney is due $4,200.

The city has said it will challenge those charges. RICK ANDERSON E

156TH

John Brennan walked into Portland International Airport the evening of April 17 with every intention of boarding his Alaska Airlines flight to San Jose, Calif. But when he got hassled at a TSA security checkpoint, something snapped—or rather, unsnapped. He stripped all the way down to his birthday suit, because, as he puts it, “My civil liberties had already been violated.”

The 49-year-old Brennan was arrested by airport police, and has since been charged in Multnomah County with indecent exposure, a misdemeanor.

Speaking last week from his home in Portland, Brennan says he has no regrets about his fleshy antics.

“Our civil rights are being eroded slowly, and TSA is one of the ways that’s happening,” Brennan says. “I knew that I could use the power of being naked to bring visibility to that issue.”

Since his arrest was first reported by The Oregonian that Tuesday night, Brennan has been “bombarded” by media requests. The audacity of his protest—coupled with amusing details from the police report, like: “Some passengers covered their eyes and their children’s eyes and moved away from the screening area; others stepped out of the screening lanes to look, laugh, and take photos”—turned him into an instant Internet celebrity.

Brennan works in the web industry, and he says he flies about once a month for business.

He routinely refuses the full-body scanners, meaning he often is subjected to frisking.

Such was the case this time around, only with one key wrinkle: TSA thought he might have been carrying a bomb.

After he was patted down, Brennan says a TSA agent swabbed his hands with a small piece of fabric. This was likely an Explosives Trace Detection, a relatively new procedure that tests for bomb-making chemicals.

“There was this sort of growing number of people around me and mumbling in the background,” he says. “They were starting to gather my stuff up, and I’m like, ‘What’s going on?’ I found out I tested positive for explosives. I said, ‘I don’t have any explosives, here you go,’ and started taking off my clothes.”

Brennan says he has disrobed in public only once before, to participate in the World Naked Bike Ride in Portland. But shedding his clothes at the airport, he felt like he “was entering a serene state.” He recounts being oblivious to the gawking bystanders until he was in cuffs and being escorted through the terminal.

Brennan estimates he was naked for no

more than 10 minutes. The arresting officers brought a drape to cover him up, and he got most of his clothes back after he was placed in an airport holding cell. But, he says, “For some reason they seemed to not be interested in giving me my socks.” KEEGAN HAMILTON

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SGN Seattle Gay News

To protect the country’s quietest place, one man is making a lot of noise.

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“Isn’t that just something you could tap-dance to?” he asks.

Hempton, 58, is an amiable, rubber boot–clad, weathered-but-handsome Washingtonian currently living in the town of Indianola on the Kitsap Peninsula, and capturing sound is his livelihood. He travels the globe recording its many varied melodies, from rattling freight trains that groan through industrial centers to frog-croak mating calls in isolated stretches of Amazonian jungle. His recordings are sold on iTunes, used in computer games, and heard at zoos and museums throughout the nation, including Seattle’s Zoomazium, the Smithsonian, and the American Museum of Natural History. He’s even won an Emmy Award for a PBS documentary in which he captured the sound of sunrise on six different continents.

Yet in the past decade, sound has gone from being merely Hempton’s way of paying the bills to his passion. It’s also turned him into an unlikely crusader. That’s because he’s perhaps the best-known member of a scattered tribe that considers the disappearance of “natural quiet”—the aural ambience of a wilderness “When I’m in a quiet place, there is a feeling of reverence that area where man-made, mechanized noise ceases to exist—one of the great comes from the privilege of being a part of nature,” he says, again in By challenges facing mankind in a new century. These places, says Hempton, are a whisper. “Now when a jet comes in overhead dumping noise, my Bryan increasingly rare—according to him, of the 21 that once existed in Washington, sense of place becomes smaller and smaller.”

Schatz only three remain, including the spot we’re trekking to.

A jet! Of course. But by the time I recognize the deep rumble In the wilderness “sound travels for miles,” he says, and the din of off-road of the aircraft overhead, Hempton has already measured its vehicles, distant traffic, and tour buses penetrate parks and alter their acoustic effect on our surroundings. environment. But the greatest threat to “natural quiet” doesn’t come from the It’s a rare sunny day in Olympic National Park’s temperate rain ground, but from what flies above it. forest. In a landscape normally dominated by 160 inches of annual rainfall, The primary focus of Hempton’s efforts is aircraft. In addition to the passenger planes today golden rays filter down through broken clouds on the Hoh River Trail, a that come and go every day from Sea-Tac, more than 300,000 fixed-wing and helicopter 17-mile path that winds its way to the base of Mount Olympus. And that plane air tours occur annually over national parks. Studies show that noise pollution can alter, flying above in the clear blue sky? It more than doubled the noise of the natural sometimes disastrously, wildlife communication. And there is increasing evidence linking soundscape, says an irritated Hempton. high exposure to aircraft and traffic noise to adverse health effects.

To the man they call “The Soundtracker,” not all noise is created equal. As we It’s a trend that Hempton doesn’t imagine will stop anytime soon, which is why he’s walk further down the trail leading to our final destination—a spot that Hemptaken it upon himself to do something no one else ever has—create the world’s first deston has single-handedly turned into a symbol for the world’s disappearing ignated quiet place. A “square inch of silence,” as he’s dubbed it, that lives on a red stone quiet—and begin crossing a shallow but swift creek, he stops and listens to the atop a mossy log and is, as it happens, today’s final destination. splish and splash of the cascading water. » Continued on page 13

Seatt le w eekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

o find the quietest place in America, you first have to shut up and listen.

“Do you hear that?”

The question, whispered, is itself hard to hear.

And, at least for the moment, I don’t hear anything yet, which is part of the problem.

The man serving as my guide not only hears “that,” he hears everything. His name is Gordon Hempton, and before he’s even finished asking his question, he’s already dug out from the pocket of his tan hunter’s vest what looks to be a TV remote with a microphone stuck on the end.

gordon Hempton captured the sound of sunrise for pBS.

Isaac Hernandez; Inset Gordon Hempton

Saving Silence

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Saving Silence » from page 11

W

hile Hempton’s efforts to preserve natural soundscapes are relatively recent, the larger cause began long before.

In 1972, the Environmental Protection Agency officially deemed noise a pollutant, though at first it was primarily considered a problem only in populated settings. That changed in June 1986, when a fatal midair collision over Grand Canyon National Park prompted Congress to pass the National Parks Overflights Act the following year. The legislation tasked the Federal Aviation Administration with ensuring the safety of tour flights, and required the National Park Service to work with the FAA on aircraft noise.

Subsequent studies showed that the airspace over parks like Yosemite in California and Haleakala in Hawaii was as packed as I-5 at quitting time—aircraft passed overhead up to 10 times per hour. To lessen the noise impact, restrictions were placed on how closely aircraft could fly above the park surface. But the more important figure—the number of tour flights— never changed.

In 2000, Congress once again attempted to regulate just who could fly above national parks, and how often. The National Parks Air Tour Management Act (ATMA) was even more ambitious than its ancestor. Instead of a vague “Go do something” command, the nation’s legislators told the FAA and NPS to make nice and develop air-tour management plans for every one of the country’s 130 parks.

Karen Trevino can’t come out and say that the government’s mandate hasn’t been met. As

the Division Chief of the Natural Sounds and Night Skies program, the National Parks Service division charged with gathering the data, she’s forced instead to say that “[The ATMA] is unprecedented in that it calls for two agencies with very different cultures and very different missions to come together to develop these air-tour plans.”

Translation: We haven’t gotten anything done yet. Because those two agencies both have veto power, they’ve each spent the past dozen years giving a thumbs-down to every plan offered by the other. Thus after more than a decade, not a single airtour management plan has made it past the voting stage.

“Every once in a while, all too often, I gotta take my pinch of Copenhagen and put it under my lip and just feel how good it is to be alive.”

Meanwhile, as the feds’ efforts at regulation were locked in a permanent stalemate, the evidence of noise’s negative effects was mounting.

When Hempton established One Square Inch of Silence with the intention of hastening overflight regulation, scientists from around the world had already begun to report the damaging effects of persistent mechanized noise on both wildlife and human populations.

Animals depend on the ability to transmit sounds for communication, procreation, and, ultimately, survival. Many, such as monkeys, canines, elephants, some amphibians, and

especially birds, alter their tunes in areas of inescapable human-caused noise.

In a 2003 study of the great tit, a common songbird, Hans Slabbekoorn of Leiden University in the Netherlands found that in areas of increased traffic noise, birds that changed the pitch and complexity of their songs were more likely to find mates. Similarly, a 30-year study conducted by researchers David Luther of the University of Maryland and Luis Baptista of the California Academy of Sciences showed that to cut through the noise of the city and be heard, urban-dwelling white-crowned sparrows now sing at higher pitches than their rural counterparts.

But not all species are so adaptable.

And there’s rising concern that mechanized noise conceals sounds necessary for survival—especially since the importance of hearing is an anthropological fact: While some animals have evolved without the ability to see, no species in the fossil record has ever developed ear lids to suppress sound.

These studies are not exclusive to wildlife, argues Julian Treasure, a frequent TED speaker and Chairman of the Sound Agency, a noise-focused business consultancy. “Sound affects us all,” he says, “although in the modern era, most people have gotten pretty unconscious about this. We’re used to suppressing sound.”

According to the World Health Organization, noise pollution can lead to sleep disturbance (even when we’re not woken, our heart rate still quickens at the onset of loud noises), anxiety, bowel dysfunction, and elevated fight/ flight stress hormones. Increasing evidence connects it to the risk of heart disease, hyper-

tension, stroke, and myocardial infarction. And noise can even impair cognitive performance.

Conducting research in schools around major European airports, Stephen Stansfeld, a professor of psychology at Queen Mary, University of London, found that with increasing levels of aircraft noise, children showed poorer reading comprehension on standardized tests.

All of which leads Treasure to claim that the growing amount of noise is man’s greatest hidden issue. “It’s the biggest elephant in the world’s room,” he says.

O

n the morning of our hike to One Square Inch, Hempton and I pile into his gray Jeep Grand Cherokee. I expect the day to begin with a nourishing breakfast and plenty of water; after all, the trek is supposed to take us five hours. But the only provisions we stop for at the local general store are coffee and some homemade deep-fried apple fritters. With his angular jawline, clean-shaven face, buzz cut, and eloquent diction, Hempton would more likely pass as ex-military than as a ’60s hippie holdover—one of many reasons the man and his mission don’t seem to overlap.

Far from being the sort of vegan teetotaler his quest might suggest, Hempton eats meat, prefers a double shot of Chivas on the rocks, and sounds like he’s spouting ad copy when talking about his beloved chewing tobacco: “Every once in a while, all too often, I gotta take my pinch of Copenhagen and put it under my lip and just feel how good it is to be alive,” he says at the wheel of his SUV. But protecting silence wasn’t always Hempton’s self-imposed responsibility. Before

» Continued on page 15

Seatt le w eekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

13

Travel & advenTure DO AS WE SAY AND AS WE DO It’s simple. Creating art for video games is our day job, teaching you is our night job. Don’t you think learning from artists who actually work in the industry is a good idea?

Seattle weekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

We do.

14

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Saving Silence » from page 13

He once strapped himself to the front of a charging steam locomotive to capture the beast’s distinctive “chuff” sound for Microsoft’s Train Simulator.

N

aturally quiet places, however, are becoming more difficult to find. More than 80 percent of the land in America is within twothirds of a mile of a road. As of 2010, there were more than 10 million annual flights.

There have been legislative efforts beyond ATMA to protect silence, with varying levels of success. In a 2007 meeting with Hempton, Washington Senator Maria Cantwell posed for a picture holding the symbolic red stone that marks One Square Inch. What’s more, three years later she introduced the Silence Helps Us Hear Act, directing the Department of the Interior to identify the quietest places in parks and devise a plan to preserve them, noting that aviation noise “degrades natural soundscapes.”

The bill, however, failed, and Cantwell’s representatives are vague—“Senator Cantwell will continue to look at balanced ways to protect the wilderness experience . . . ”—when asked if she’ll introduce it again.

Frustrated by ATMA’s ineffectiveness, Oregon Senator Ron Wyden recently sponsored an amendment granting the Park Service authority to ban air-tour flyovers above his state’s Crater Lake National Park. The amendment passed in February, marking the first successful attempt of its kind. Rather than maintaining the dual veto authority that’s handcuffed ATMA for a dozen years, Wyden’s amendment streamlines the process by allowing the Park Service to determine how many, if any, flight tours will be allowed at Crater Lake, while the FAA’s role has been reduced to ensuring flight safety.

For proponents of natural quiet, it’s a promising start. But there’s a catch: Even in parks where the Park Service is given more authority,

» Continued on page 17

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Seatt le w eekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

he could be concerned with environmental quietude, he first had to support himself. And as we pull onto Highway 101, passing empty stretches of forested seashore on our way to the Hoh Valley, he tells me about his early career.

Hempton grew up a “military brat” and moved to Seattle in 1978, two years after graduating with a degree in botany from the University of Wisconsin. Working part-time as a bike messenger, he fell in love with a co-worker, and the two started a family. The couple, now divorced but still friendly, was struggling financially. So Hempton came up with a plan.

Already an amateur soundtracker, he knew as well as anyone that the music of the wild was disappearing. And using the supply-anddemand logic learned by every student in Business 101, Hempton figured that the rarer it got, the more valuable it would be. He was right.

Hempton’s days delivering packages ended in 1989 when he won a $10,000 grant to record the natural environments of Washington. This assignment was just the beginning. Shortly afterward he was circling the globe, capturing the sounds of sunrise on six continents— resulting in the documentary Vanishing Dawn Chorus, which won him an Emmy award in 1992.

By the time the Air Tour Management Act of 2000 had passed, Hempton had made soundtracking a career, providing audio clips for The Relaxation Company, the Smithsonian, and Microsoft. He gained a reputation for providing high-quality “binaural” recordings— which mimic the way people actually hear, using a recording device shaped like a human head—and for diligence, no matter the risk: He once strapped himself to the front of a charging steam locomotive to capture the beast’s distinctive “chuff” sound for Microsoft’s Train Simulator.

Brian Pertl, the former Head of Media Acquisitions for Microsoft’s Encarta World Atlas, was impressed not only by the quality of Hempton’s work—“He delivered these amazingly beautiful sound files”—but by his rare ability to adapt.

“Gordon could step into Microsoft offices after being four months in the Amazon, and it’s like it was nothing,” says Pertl.

Hempton’s transition from seeing disappearing soundscapes as cash cows to committing his life to their preservation was a 15-year process. But it dovetailed nicely with the kind of work that kept him energized. “I can work all day and all night recording nature sounds in a wilderness place and feel inspired,” he says.

But working those same hours in a noisy city, “I [get] really exhausted.” Adds Pertl: “Here’s a guy who thinks nothing about going out into a deep rain forest and sitting for hours motionless as he’s recording natural sound. A lot of us can’t even sit through a 45-minute symphony, let alone eight hours of frog chirp or cricket chirp.”

Establishing One Square Inch in 2005 spawned a more political life for Hempton.

Discussing noise-mitigation strategy with park personnel, speaking at public hearings, and requesting airlines to reroute their flights around the Hoh Valley became common. In 2009, with journalist John Grossman, Hempton published One Square Inch of Silence: One Man’s Quest to Preserve Quiet, for which he traveled the United States recording “the sonic pulse of America” and reporting on the state of quiet in an increasingly noisy world.

Though he’s received much support and encouragement, not everyone cheers him on.

After The Seattle Times reported on Hempton’s efforts, he was disparaged by the head of a pilots’ association website. Vandals have trashed One Square Inch on several occasions, not only removing the stone but also hiding Hempton’s Jar of Quiet Thoughts—“the world’s only collection depository of quiet literature both written and read only here at the Hoh Valley”—and scattering its contents across the forest floor. Other detractors send him scathing hate mail, labeling him an “environmental wacko” and a “nature nut.”

Hempton claims the taunts don’t bother him. If he’s ever stressed, he can always run to his “getaway” property in Joyce, west of Port Angeles, where he ripped out all the plumbing to “keep things simple.” Potable water is collected from the sky. All that’s needed for a warm bath are some burning logs under the claw-foot tub down by the creek. It’s nice, he says. Peaceful. And exactly the kind of environment he thinks his critics could benefit from. “Sounds like they need a quiet place,” he says.

15

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Seattle weekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

ave you ever been set up on a blind date, only to find an hour into dinner that it isn’t a match made in heaven?

Though our closest friends, turned matchmaker, have the best intentions, it can be hard to meet people who could potentially be Mr. or Mrs. Right in the midst of our busy lifestyles. But Seattle’s own Great Expectations dating service is here to show you that “the one” is out there, and they know exactly how to help you find them.

Great Expectations is a professional, personalized dating service that allows single men and women to meet other quality singles in their area. In business for more than 35 years, it’s the nation’s oldest and largest private membership club for singles.

“We provide a safe, fun, efficient way to meet other quality singles that they might otherwise never meet,” says Great Expectations Center Director Wendy, who has more than 17 years of industry experience.

So how does it work? As soon as a prospective client calls, 425-4443916, or visits the website, www. geseattle.com, the team immediately gets the process rolling. They prequalify members over the phone to come into the Seattle office for an interview. When they come in, 16 potential members will sit down

with a trained staff professional for a one-on-one personal interview.

All members are screened and must complete a criminal background check. If they feel like Great Expectations is a good fit for them, and they are a good fit for Great Expectations, they’ll schedule a time for their professional photo and video shoot.

All members will have an in-depth profile, their photos and video posted online via a password protected site for viewing only by other Great Expectations members.

Everyone has deal-breakers when it comes to finding the person you want to spend your life with, so the Great Expectations staff helps to weed some of those things out, as well as find someone who has similar interests and hobbies.

“There are no surprises, so it never feels like a blind date,” Wendy says. “You have full control over who you meet and everything is unlimited—meaning you can select and meet as many people as you want.”

It’s a highly personalized matchmaking method—where everyone in the office knows all the members by name and where members reap the benefit of oneon-one interaction—that sets Great Expectations apart from the dating service pack. Great Expectations

also hosts social events and activities every month that allow people to expand their social circle, make new friends, and meet other members in a fun, relaxed atmosphere.

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Even though members get to decide who they meet, Great Expectations loves to play matchmaker and give suggestions of who they think their members would be compatible with.

Members are always given control of who they want to meet and how many people they meet.

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In short, there’s no other service that compares to what Great Expectations has to offer. And no one can attest to this better than Ryan and Christina, who met thanks to the team’s matchmaking process.

A Great Expectations member for a year, Ryan selected Christina—who had recently signed on as a client— and the couple clicked from the get go. They were engaged June 11, 2011, and tied the knot just last month.

Dyan and Mark also owe their success to the Great Expectations team. Dyan joined Great Expectations in October 2010 to

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Great Expectations will be there to back you up and point you in the right direction. They guide you through the process of finding your “other half,” as well as introducing you to a new, exciting social circle. In the words of a success story couple Ruth and David, “Just give it a shot.

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Saving Silence » from page 15 there’s no guarantee air tours will be banned.

And, according to Hempton, even if all commercial tours were to halt immediately, it wouldn’t save quiet, because in his view there’s still a fundamental flaw in the way natural soundscapes are managed.

In 2008, the Park Service entered into the Federal Register the intent to regulate aircraft below 18,000 feet (and therefore disregard flights at high altitudes), leaving commercial aircraft free to pass over national parks unregulated. Yet despite their tremendous distance from the ground, passenger jets can still be heard. One of the quirks of sound is that it increases exponentially, which means that for every three-decibel increase, the acoustic energy doubles. In Olympic National Park, where the voice of the wilderness is 37 decibels, the aircraft rumble Hempton measured at 55 decibels has an acoustic energy 64 times greater than that of the natural soundscape.

For Hempton, ATMA is, at best, only a starting point, a gateway to stricter regulation in places of exceptional sonic beauty. His ultimate hope? The creation of a “National Quiet Places System,” federal legislation that would designate no-fly zones over select national parks.

And, Hempton suggests, it should begin with One Square Inch of Silence.

“Not only is [Olympic National Park] the least noise-polluted park in the United States, but also it’s the most sonically diverse,” he says. It’s why when he visits the Hoh Valley he brings a decibel reader, a pen, and a notepad and records any noise intrusions. Later he sends the responsible airline a letter asking it to circumvent the Hoh Valley. Dozens of letters have been sent to little effect. And when he does receive a response, it usually amounts to a written shrug. The lone glimmer of hope: Alaska Airlines voluntarily agreed to discontinue unscheduled maintenance flights over the park.

“Here’s a guy who thinks nothing about going out into a deep rain forest and sitting for hours motionless as he’s recording natural sound.”

A

round 11 a.m., we reach the parking lot of the Hoh River Trailhead. Though the sun peeks through the low-hanging clouds, the air still feels moist. Armed with jackets, bottles of water, snacks, and Hempton’s umbrellas in case of rain, we step onto the trail and are immediately enveloped in a multihued world of green—lime, spring, apple, olive, forest, shamrock, harlequin. Trees and logs are coated with moss. The leaves of ferns conceal boulders and hang over narrow creeks. Hempton says soundscapes are as intricately textured; it’s just that their subtleties go largely unnoticed.

As the sun rises in South Africa’s Kalahari Desert, for example, the first sound you hear is the thrumming of millions of insects shaking the night’s dew off their wings and taking flight. Only then do the birds begin chirping.

Closer to home, at Olympic National Park’s Rialto Beach, he says the ocean waves send up “acoustic energy” to the driftwood logs of Sitka spruce, which causes them to vibrate, humming deep harmonic tones similar to those of bowed instruments.

Nearing our destination, the rain forest is remarkably quiet. To someone who spends most of his time in cities, it seems almost unnaturally quiet. Hempton and I are the only two hiking the trail; we hear no noise from maintenance crews or the whirring of distant road traffic.

Every 15 to 30 minutes, a commercial aircraft drones above, but the spaces between are serene.

A few feet off the trail, we pass through a natural arch in a stilted spruce. We then wade through a shallow mud bog, wind around dead logs, and pass under more Sitkas, some of which tower 250 feet into the sky above us, until finally we reach the clearing.

The instant we arrive, a commercial jet passes overhead. It’s 1:44 p.m. on Thursday.

We’ve hiked more than two hours to reach this spot, anxiously anticipating the opportunity to experience this unique sonic setting— but not two minutes later, there’s another one (1:46), and another (1:49), and still more (1:55, 2:09, 2:13, 2:20, 2:23).

And this is supposed to be the quietest place in the United States.

Hempton shakes his head, the picture of disappointment. Then finally, after 45 minutes of nearly continual interruptions, we’re treated to an hour of natural silence.

A light wind whispers softly and then dissipates. Songbirds twitter by, soaring from branch to branch. Raindrops fall from the Sitkas and patter into puddles below. The silence calls to mind a saying: Quiet is not the absence of sound, but the presence of the world in its natural state.

Then another one, this one Hempton’s: “Quiet is quieting.” He’s absolutely right. E news@seattleweekly.com

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TOWN HALL HIGHLIGHTS 4/25 - 5/1 Wednesday, 4/25 at 7:30 pm

Seattle Arts & Lectures: Etgar Keret

Thursday, 4/26 at 6 pm

A.J. Jacobs: Quest for the Perfect Body

Thursday, 4/26 at 7:30 pm

TownMusic: Alarm Will Sound

Friday, 4/27 at 7:30 pm

Seattle Poetry Slam: 2012 Grand Slam

Saturday, 4/28 at 11:30 am

Jorge L. Baron: Immigration at the Crossroads

Saturday, 4/28 at 8 pm

Seattle Baroque Orchestra: Vivaldi:‘Gloria,’ with the Tudor Choir

Sunday, 4/29 at 2 pm

Simple Measures: Local Vocals

Sunday, 4/29 at 6 pm

Francis Fukuyama: The Origins of Political Order

Monday, 4/30 at 7:30 pm

Philip Auerswald: Goodbye Fear, Hello Entrepreneurship

Tuesday, 5/1 at 6 pm

Rafe Sagarin: Security Lessons from Nature

Tuesday, 5/1 at 7:30 pm

May Day! May Day!: Celebrating New Seattle Music

www.townhallseattle.org

Seatt le w eekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

Trevino is skeptical of One Square Inch as a management strategy. She points out that the Park Service has to think about more than just the concerns of one advocate. “I think Gordon’s [interest] is a little bit more narrow in focus, and we don’t really have that luxury,” she says.

The FAA’s own research has also thrown some cold water on Hempton’s ambitious plans. When it hired a contractor to look into the possibility of routing flight paths around Grand Canyon National Park, a simulation showed that “instituting such a concept would have a serious and detrimental effect on the air traffic control system,” to say nothing of the “significant cost” to aircraft operators.

Hempton, not surprisingly, doesn’t buy it.

He argues that the cost of avoiding Olympic National Park would amount to less than one minute of travel time and one dollar per passenger in added expenses—perhaps failing to acknowledge the razor-thin financial margins

of the airline industry, where bankruptcy is the norm, not the exception. Still, from Hempton’s perspective it’s more about the hassle than the expense; he notes that in 2007 the Air Transport Association estimated that every minute of flight delay adds only $65.80.

“The last flight that I’ve taken, we spent an extra 10 minutes waiting for baggage and more than 20 minutes waiting for our third beverage cart,” he says. “Avoiding our national parks is an insignificant cost.”

17

Seattle weekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

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18 Damn Yankees Seattle Weekly.indd 1

4/6/12 10:32 AM

the»weekly»wire BOOKS

You, a Guru?

A.J. Jacobs has a shtick, and that’s OK. He knows he has a shtick, and it’s served him profitably through two tongue-in-cheek self-improvement books (The Know-It-All, The Year of Living Biblically). Now comes the third and likely final installment in his makeover trilogy: Drop Dead Healthy: One Man’s Humble Quest for Bodily Perfection

(Simon & Schuster, $26), which he claims to have typed while walking on a treadmill beneath his desk. It’s a stunt, it’s a gimmick, it’s a crib from George Plimpton’s first-person adventures, but so what? Jacobs is endearingly unserious about his get-in-shape regimen. A writer for Esquire, he knows how to grab a colorful anecdote or zany source, and there’s no danger of his tripping on the loose shoelace of erudition. He leaves the footnotes to Marion Nestle and Michael Pollan, playing up his own persona as fitness doofus, a guy who knows nothing about the (now sagging) equipment he was born with. His zealous quest matches up with America’s long mania for fitness and perfection, from Dr. Kellogg to 8-Minute Abs. As much as Drop Dead Healthy laughs at itself, it laughs at us, too. And once his tour is completed, Jacobs can return to noshing Cheetos on the couch, let his gut grow back (as they all do), and start scheming up his next book pitch—about himself, of course. Town Hall, 1119 Eighth Ave., 652-4255, townhallseattle.org. $5. 6 p.m. BRIAN MILLER FILM

Youth Is Served

BOOKS

Pointing to the Past

It goes without saying that How to Sharpen Pencils (Melville House, $19.95) is a put-on, given the book’s naggingly archaic subtitle: “A Practical and Theoretical Treatise on the Artisanal Craft of Pencil Sharpening.”

Author David Rees is known as a cartoonist (Get Your War On, My New Filing Technique Is Unstoppable!), but he’s no draftsman. He’s a master of clip art, which is antithetical to the retro-grouchy tone he adopts in his highly illustrated guide (there are lists, footnotes, demonstration photos with the author, tables, and a faux bibliography). “Artisanal” is a keyword—one that Brooklyn resident Rees is clearly sick of hearing, just as we are here. His supposed pencil fetish is of a piece with all the Golden Age, locally sourced, pre-digital

CBS

Ferguson brings his free-form comedy to the casino.

*

sat/4/28 MUSIC/BOOK

Music Before the G-Word

Pennsylvania history professor Stephen Tow is a fanboy—not of anime, not of comic books,

Great Scot

SAT: COMEDY

If you stay awake long enough to catch The Late Late Show (12:30 a.m. on CBS) you’ll know that its host, Craig Ferguson, is among television’s most unusual comic personalities. His monologues and from-the-desk commentaries are stream-of-consciousness high-wire acts (think Lenny Bruce meets a young David Letterman). Having recently taped a week of shows in his native Scotland, Ferguson is now on the road doing stand-up. Since his humor has always been rooted in his outsider perspective of America (where’s he’s now a citizen), he has no doubt returned armed with fresh observations from his homeland. Free from the shackles of network censors, Ferguson will also be more than happy to let his comedy run wild and bleepfree. (21 and over.) Snoqualmie Casino, 37500 S.E. North Bend Way, 425-888-1234, snocasino.com. $50–$100. 8 p.m. BRIAN J. BARR

Do not make the mistake of asking Rees about mechanical pencils!

but of us. As in Seattle, particularly our city’s much-mythologized musical culture. Tow’s such a Northwest-rock enthusiast that he went beyond collecting Sub Pop singles or making a pilgrimage to Aberdeen. Last year he wrote The Strangest Tribe: How a Group of Seattle Rock Bands Invented Grunge

(Sasquatch, $18.95), in which he states “Not since Liverpool and Memphis has one city so dramatically altered the course of music history.” The Strangest Tribe studies the prelude to the ’90s grunge explosion, burrowing into the years before Nirvana’s and Pearl Jam’s stardom, examining their lesserknown forerunners—punk and metal bands like The U-Men and Skin Yard who surfaced out of Roosevelt and Evergreen. (Prominent figures include Stone Gossard and SW columnist Duff McKagan.) Tow also charts the rise and demise of forgotten clubs like The Bird and the Roscoe Louie Gallery.

Then there’s his “hooks and looks” theory: Nirvana, Soundgarden, and Alice in Chains hit it big, he argues, because of their handsome singers. This left Mudhoney by the wayside, because “Mark Arm wasn’t melodic enough, and, quite frankly, he wasn’t cute enough.” But I hope no one would say the same of Scott McCaughey, of the Young Fresh Fellows, who’ll appear with Tow today and play a mini-set. Sonic Boom Records, 2209 N.W. Market St., 297-2666, sonicboomrecords. com. Free. 5 p.m. ERIN K. THOMPSON

Seatt le w eekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

Though it draws entries from all over the U.S. and abroad, The National Film Festival for Talented Youth (aka NFFTY) is actually a local organization, co-founded in 2007 by Jesse Harris, then a 21-year-old filmmaker himself. Thanks to hustle and good connections, he’s since expanded it to a four-day

fri/4/27

nostalgia that afflicts those urban types— and they are always urban—who would never surrender their precious iPhones or Facebook accounts.

In a tone somewhere between that of Phil Hartman’s old Anal Retentive Chef on SNL and BikeSnob NYC (with a descriptive touch recalling Nicholson Baker’s The Mezzanine), Rees gradually reveals the insanity of such atavistic work methodology.

(Save those pencil shavings! They can be used as mulch, cat litter, or “Ninja-style blinding dust.”) He’s losing—we’re all losing—the push-back against technology. It’s a futile battle that Rees treats with deadpan humor—as when he, wearing smock and safety goggles, breaks into houses to surreptitiously sharpen “our cedar friends” and take a mallet to his sworn enemy, the electric pencil sharpener. Elliott Bay Book Co., 1521 10th Ave., 624-6600, elliottbaybook.com. Free. 7 p.m. BRIAN MILLER MEREDITH HEUER

thurs/4/26

affair featuring a companion Future of Film Expo (over at the Seattle Center Exhibition Hall) beyond the 200-plus shorts being screened. (The age cutoff for directors is 22.)

Whether because of YouTube, affordable HD video cameras, or both, there seems to be a limitless, ever-expanding supply of filmed content being produced in the world. Limited to boutique indies and Hollywood blockbusters, the traditional movie-exhibition business can’t keep pace, so NFFTY serves a useful role for tyro directors—some as young as 7! Among tonight’s titles, we like Shuffleboard Kings from Vancouver, B.C., college student Chris Aitken.

The gentle 16-minute comedy pays cute homage to the training montages of Rocky and The Karate Kid as a 73-year-old widower prepares for a critical game of tabletop shuffleboard. And a telling Canadian detail: To his veggie shake, a teammate helpfully adds extra protein in the form of—what else?—bacon.

(Continues Fri.–Sun. at SIFF Cinema at the Uptown.) Cinerama, 2100 Fourth Ave., nffty.org. $25–$35. 7:30 p.m. BRIAN MILLER

19

EARTH, WIND & FIRE

Seattle weekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

Friday, July 20, 7PM

20

CHRIS ISAAK

STEVE MARTIN

with very special guest

& THE STEEP CANYON RANGERS

Sunday, July 22, 7PM

Tuesday, July 24, 7PM

SHAWN COLVIN

DIANA KRALL with special guest

DENZAL SINCLAIRE

Saturday, September 1, 7PM

& EMMYLOU HARRIS

JERRY DOUGLAS

featuring Saturday, August 4, 7PM

BONNIE RAITT

BLONDIE & DEVO

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 7, 7PM

ALISON KRAUSS & UNION STATION

with very special guest

MAVIS STAPLES

Sat & Sun, September 8 & 9, 7PM

Tickets available online at ticketmaster.com, all outlets, at the Chateau Ste. Michelle wine shop or charge-by-phone: (800) 745-3000

arts»Opening Nights Exit, Pursued by a Bear ARTSWEST, 4711 CALIFORNIA AVE. S.W., 938-0339, ARTSWEST.ORG. 7:30 P.M. WED.–SAT., 3 P.M. SUN. ENDS MAY 13.

ARTSWEST

Plays within plays are usually designed to make somebody see the error of his or her ways. As Hamlet stages the pantomime to guilt Gertrude and Claudius about their crime, Nan (Sara Coates), the oppressed heroine of Lauren Gunderson’s new comedy, orchestrates similar misery for her abusive redneck husband Kyle (Jonah Von Spreecken), forcing him to watch her drama-smitten friends re-enact the couple’s troubled history. Though in outline this has the emotional nuance of a Tom and Jerry cartoon, under Keri Healey’s elastic direction Exit does manage enchantment, recalling Shakespeare’s bizarre late romance plays (the title comes from The Winter’s Tale). Despite Nan’s tediously newfound feminist voice (credited to de Beauvoir and Austen), some one-liners shine through.

The cast works magic on the bumpkin stereotypes and improbable theater in-jokes.

Coates’ energetic intelligence keeps us in her corner despite lines like “I’ve seen Thelma and Louise, so I know I have choices.” As Nan’s gay BFF Simon, Kyle James Traver curtly juggles bromides about following your dreams with meatier insights like “Marriage is supposed to be annoying, not painful.”

Nan’s other BFF, Sweetheart (Hannah Mootz, decorated by Megan Gurdine with a Palin hair bump and tight down vest), breezily asserts they’re like a bunch of Brecht scholars (breaking the fourth wall and all). It’s a boast that Josh Randall humors with broadly theatrical lighting. Given only one note to whimper (angry red-state bozo duct-taped to a chair), Von Spreecken can’t do much to humanize Kyle. It’s hardly a fair fight.

Audio-visual cues pitch back to the ’70s, when Nan’s hero and father figure, Jimmy Carter, laments the nation’s “crisis of confidence,” which vaguely parallels Nan’s. Then Simon and Sweetheart imagine the Susan Boyle “I Dreamed a Dream” fairy tale happening to them. In its affably condescending way, Gunderson’s play suggests that it might.

Meanwhile, Kyle will either be bear food or watching SportsCenter, unmoved by it all.

A Language of Their Own RICHARD HUGO HOUSE, 1634 11TH AVE., 364-3283, REACTTHEATRE.ORG. $6–$15.

8 P.M. FRI.–SAT. ENDS MAY 12.

Let it be said one more time that I’m gay.

I mention it only so you won’t label me a homophobe for not liking ReAct’s staging of Chay Yew’s AIDS-themed drama from 1995, which has been making the rounds in one form or another since then (well before the disease was downsized from plague to chronic condition). Yew’s script teeters from whining and sentiment to free-verse poetry depicting a bathhouse tryst. It also does that thing same-sex couples hate: It leaves the impression that gay men are incapable of lasting romantic partnerships.

Maybe the stresses of dealing with HIV back in the early ’90s made that so. Or perhaps it’s just me. I can name only a half-dozen gay plays from the past two decades that aren’t fatally arch, shallow, or simply myopic about the subject—Jeffrey, Angels in America, and Rent paramount among them.

Language allows us to watch the breakup and repartnering of two Chinese-American lovers: Ming (David Hsieh), a native-born American, and Oscar (Joseph Steven Yang), a cardigan-sporting traditionalist whose formative years were spent in China. The show opens with their breakup, and, after a flashback, returns to it repeatedly to illustrate that the differences that once attracted the pair have now driven them apart.

In the second act, both struggle to move on with new partners. Added to the mix are Daniel (Alex Adisorn) and Robert (Trevor Cushman), the lone Anglo in the play, who endures Ming’s philandering—and worse. In the end, Yew makes sure we all understand that it’s Ming’s unresolved feelings for Oscar that make him “act out.” But a jerk is a jerk is a jerk. As written and performed, Ming is a nightmare ex incapable of eliciting empathy— and that makes for one long, excruciating night in the theater.

Directed by Victor Pappas, the inexperienced cast labors under the yoke of Yew’s mess of a play, with varying degrees of success. Yang is a natural as the stuck-inhis-head Oscar, always ruminating on whether he’s made the right choices.

Cushman adds heartbreaking humanity to Robert, whom Ming both puts on a pedestal and treats as a punching bag. Adisorn does his best with the shallow materialist Daniel.

And at the center of this maelstrom is poor Hsieh, who skittishly retreats from Ming’s emotional range. The experience is like watching some steeplechase runner lose his nerve and step gingerly around the hurdles.

KEVIN PHINNEY E

stage@seattleweekly.com

OPENING RECEPTION: MAY 11, 5 – 9 PM

ART MAY 11 – 26 1000 VIRGINIA AVENUE CORNER OF VIRGINIA & TERRY (NEW LOCATION)

DESIGN MAY 11 – 25 1000 LENORA STREET CORNISH MAIN CAMPUS, 1ST FLOOR

GALLERY HOURS 12 – 5 PM, MON – SAT

WWW.CORNISH.EDU/BFA2012

Seatt le w eekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

MARGARET FRIEDMAN

In Exit, Von Spreecken as the dimwit captive to Coates’ character.

21

ALL CHEER ON THE WESTERN FRONT

May 3 – 20

WED, APR 25 RESTAURANT & NIGHTCLUB

Frank Ferrante

INDUSTRY NIGHT

An EvEning with

BRAD BRAKE

in

Groucho

THR, APR 26 SEATTLE’S COMEDY MADMAN FRI-SUN, APR 27-29 2011 COMPETITION WINNER

MIKE BALDWIN

PLUS MAX CURRY & BEN FELDMAN MON, APR 30 GOOD, BAD, UGLY

OPEN MIC NIGHT

arts»Performance

BY GAVIN BORCHERT

Stage OPENINGS

THE ACADEMY OF BURLESQUE A fundraiser for

the Burlesque Hall of Fame Museum in Las Vegas.

Oddfellows Hall, 915 E. Pike St., 800-838-3006, brown papertickets.com. $20–$75. 8 p.m. Sat., April 28.

DAMN YANKEES The Faust legend transposed to baseball. 5th Avenue Theatre, 1308 Fifth Ave., 625-1900. $19 and up. Preview April 25, opens April 26. Runs Tues.– Sun.; see 5thavenue.org for schedule. Ends May 20.

CRAIG FERGUSON SEE THE WIRE, PAGE 19.

FIREFLIES AND CIGARETTES Americana-flavored fairy tales by Bret Fetzer. Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave., 322-7030, hugohouse.org. $12. 8 p.m. Wed., May 2.

I LOVE YOU, YOU’RE PERFECT, NOW CHANGE Four actors play more than 40 roles in this popular show.

Seattle Musical Theatre, 7400 Sand Point Way N.E. # 101N, 363-2809, seattlemusical theatre.org. $35–$40. Opens April 27. 7:30 p.m. Fri.–Sat., 2 p.m. Sun., plus 7:30 p.m.

Thurs., May 17. Ends May 20.

THE ILLUSION Tony Kushner’s adaptation of Corneille. Jones Playhouse Theatre, 4045 University T H I S CO D E Way N.E., 543-4880, drama.

TO DOWNLOAD THE FREE washington.edu. $8–$20.

SEATTLE WEEKLY Previews April 25–26, opens IPHONE/ANDROID APP April 27. 7:30 p.m. Wed.–Sat., FOR MORE EVENTS OR VISIT 2 p.m. Sun. Ends May 6. seattleweekly.com MOSHE KASHER This comedian/memoirist tells of his misspent youth. Can Can, 94 Pike St, 800-838-3006, brownpapertickets.com, peoplesrepublicofkomedy.com. $15. 8 p.m. Mon., April 30.

THE PITMEN PAINTERS British miners unlock their artistic potential. ACT Theatre, 700 Union St., 292-7676. $15– $55. Preview April 25, opens April 26. Runs Tues.–Sun.; see acttheatre.org for exact schedule. Ends May 20.

SEX IN SEATTLE 20: HAPPILY EVER AFTER The stage serial about Asian-American women winds up.

West of Lenin, 203 N. 36th St., 323-9443, sexinseattle.org. $12–$16. Opens April 27. 8 p.m. Thurs.–Sat. Ends May 26.

SIDESHOW In Jenna Bean Veatch’s show, circus performers’ fantasies materialize. Annex Theatre, 1100 E. Pike St., 728-0933, annextheatre.org. $5–$10. Preview 8 p.m. April 30, opens May 1. 8 p.m. Tues.–Wed. Ends May 16.

SMASH A comic adaptation of Shaw’s An Unsocial Socialist. Seattle Public Theater at the Bathhouse, 7312 W. Green Lake Ave. N., 524-1300, seattlepublictheater. org. Pay what you can. Opens April 27. 7 p.m. Fri.–Sat., 2 p.m. Sun.; also 2 p.m. Sat., May 5. Ends May 5.

SCAN

Directed by Dreya Weber

109 S. Washington St.

“See thiS Man. he iS coMic geniuS.” –Seattle Weekly

WWW.COMEDYUNDERGROUND.COM

(at Occidental)

206.628.0303

The Pitmen Painters Now – May 20

A transforming, true story of friendship, aspiration, and the power of art from the acclaimed writer of Billy Elliot.

eSe Teatro Celebrate eSe! May 5

Seattle weekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

A Cinco de Mayo reading and party in celebration of eSe Teatro’s two-year anniversary.

22

Seattle Confidential May 14

Seattle anonymously shares its life stories. This quarter’s theme: My 15 Minutes of Fame.

First Date Now – May 20

New shows added May 3 & 16.

Don’t miss this hot new musical! A Co-Production with the 5th Avenue Theatre.

See it all with an ACTPass! acttheatre.org | 206.292.7676 700 Union Street, Downtown Seattle

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Hypnosis

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Call Diana Labrum, CHt for information Space is limited so please pre-register 206-455-0514 or personalbesthypnosis@gmail.com

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CURRENT RUNS

AMADEUS Peter Shaffer’s fable of envy, God, and art.

Second Story Repertory Theatre, 16587 N.E. 74th St., Redmond, 425-881-6777, secondstoryrep.org. $20–$25.

8 p.m. Fri.–Sat., 2 p.m. Sun. Ends April 29.

THE ART OF RACING IN THE RAIN Garth Stein’s novel is told in the voice of Enzo the dog. Center House Theatre, Seattle Center, 216-0833. $22–$44. Runs Wed.– Sun.; see book-it.org for exact schedule. Ends May 13.

THE BACCHAE Euripides, outdoors. Cornish College, Amazon Campus, 410 Terry Ave. N., cornish.edu. Free.

3:30 p.m. Fri., 2 p.m. Sat., plus noon April 29. Ends April 29.

CLYBOURNE PARK Bruce Norris’ Pulitzer-winning satire of race relations. Seattle Repertory Theatre, Seattle Center, 443-2210. $15–$74. Runs Wed.–Sun; see seattlerep.org for exact schedule. Ends May 13.

DOUBLE (XX) FEST A wealth of plays written and directed by women. Stone Soup Downstage, 4029 Stone Way, 800-838-3006. $10 and up. Runs Thurs.–Sun.; see stonesouptheatre.org for exact schedule. Ends May 6.

EXIT, PURSUED BY A BEAR SEE REVIEW, PAGE 21.

FIRST DATE In this gossamer new musical, Aaron meets Casey at a local bistro. Their fragile new relationship never seems anything but authentic—especially in its missteps and detours. KEVIN PHINNEY ACT Theatre, 700 Union St., 292-7676. $15–$69. Runs Tues.–Sun.; see acttheatre.org for exact schedule. Ends May 20.

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Send events to stage@seattleweekly.com, dance@seattleweekly.com, or classical@seattleweekly.com See seattleweekly.com for full listings. = Recommended

•

•FREUD’S LAST SESSION In Mark St. Germain’s play,

it’s September 1939, and Freud has invited rising young Christian intellectual C.S. Lewis to tea. Taproot Theatre, 204 N. 85th St., 781-9707, taproottheatre.org. $15–$37. 7:30 p.m. Wed.–Thurs., 8 p.m. Fri., 2 & 8 p.m. Sat. Ends April 28.

HAPPY DAYS A terrific production of one of Beckett’s most accessible plays. Throughout the 90 minutes, I was as restless as I’ve ever felt in a theater. Just as Beckett would have wanted. MARGARET FRIEDMAN New City Theater, 1404 18th Ave., 271-4430, newcitytheater.org. $15 Thurs., $20 Fri.–Sat. 8 p.m. Thurs.–Sat. Ends May 5.

HELP The story of the Beatles’ early years. Seattle Children’s Theatre, Seattle Center, 441-3322. $20–$36.

7 p.m. Thurs.–Fri., 2 & 5:30 p.m. Sat., 11 a.m. & 2:30 p.m.

Sun.; see sct.org for exact schedule. Ends May 13.

A LANGUAGE OF THEIR OWN SEE REVIEW, PAGE 21.

ROMEO AND JULIET Shakespeare al fresco. Volunteer Park, 1247 15th Ave. E., cornish.edu. Free. 3:30 p.m. Fri., 2 p.m. Sat.–Sun. Ends April 29.

TEAM OF HEROES: BEHIND CLOSED DOORS The prequel to Annex’s popular superhero saga Alecto: Issue #1. Annex Theatre, 1100 E. Pike St., annextheatre. org. $5–$15. 8 p.m. Thurs.–Sat. Ends May 19.

THE TWILIGHT ZONE: LIVE! Three scenes by Rod Serling. ACT Theatre, 700 Union St., 292-7676, schmeater. org. $15–$23. 8:30 p.m. Thurs.–Sat. Ends April 28.

A WRINKLE IN TIME Madeleine L’Engle’s pathbreaking YA sci-fi novel. Youth Theatre Northwest, 8805 S.E. 40th St., Mercer Island, 232-4145 x109, youththeatre.org. $13–$17. 7 p.m. Fri.–Sat., 2 p.m. Sat.–Sun. Ends May 6.

•

Dance

DASSDANCE Their “All 4 1 dancepalooza” stars local stu-

dent troupes. Garfield Community Center, 2323 E. Cherry St., 800-838-3006, brownpapertickets.com, dassdance. org. $10–$15. 7 p.m. Fri., April 27–Sat., April 28.

CONFLUENCE/INFLUENCE New works by four composer/choreographer partnerships. Chapel Performance Space, 4649 Sunnyside Ave. N., seattlejazzcomposers ensemble.com. $7–$15. 8 p.m. Fri., April 27–Sat., April 28.

CORNISH DANCE THEATER In their spring concert, work by Cyrus Khambatta, José Limón, and others.

Broadway Performance Hall, 1625 Broadway, cornish. edu. $5–$10. 8 p.m. Fri., April 27, 2 & 8 p.m. Sat., April 28.

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Classical, Etc.

• DXARTS New multimedia work by local and Argentine

composers. Meany Hall, UW campus, 543-4880, music. washington.edu. $10–$15. 7:30 p.m. Wed., April 25.

ALARM WILL SOUND Music from John Adams to Aphex Twin and the Beatles from this 20-member ensemble. Town Hall, 1119 Eighth Ave., 652-4255, townhallseattle.org. $10–$25. 7:30 p.m. Thurs., April 26.

SEATTLE SYMPHONY A suite of entr’actes from Daron Hagen’s Seattle-premiered opera Amelia, plus Shostakovich and Prokofiev. Benaroya Hall, 200 University St., 215-4747, seattlesymphony.org. $17–$110.

7:30 p.m. Thurs., April 26, 7:30 p.m., 8 p.m. Sat., April 28.

SEATTLE SYMPHONY Mozart, Holst, and more. Langston Hughes Performing Arts Center, 104 17th Ave. S., seattlesymphony.org. Free. 7 p.m. Fri., April 27.

NORTHWEST SINFONIETTA Mendelssohn and Prokofiev.

Benaroya Recital Hall, Third and Union, 866-833-4747, nwsinfonietta.org. $19–$49. 7:30 p.m. Fri., April 27.

SIMPLE MEASURES American music, with guest choir Prime Voci. Fremont Abbey, 4272 Fremont Ave. N., 7:30 p.m. Fri., April 27; Town Hall, 1119 Eighth Ave., 2 p.m.

Sun., April 29. 853-5672, simplemeasures.org. $15–$30.

AUBURN SYMPHONY Elgar, Vaughan-Williams, and Shostakovich. Auburn Performing Arts Center, 700 E. Main St., Auburn, 253-887-7777, auburnsymphony.org. $10–$34. 7:30 p.m. Sat., April 28, 2:30 p.m. Sun., April 29.

NORTHWEST SYMPHONY Two premieres: Samuel Jones’ Petite Suite and composer/guitarist Michael Nicolella’s settings of Yeats. Highline Performing Arts Center, 401 S. 152nd St., Des Moines, northwest symphonyorchestra.org. $10–$14. 8 p.m. Sat., April 28.

SEATTLE BAROQUE & TUDOR CHOIR Collaborating on a “Gloria”—but whose? Vivaldi’s? Van Morrison’s?

Laura Brannigan’s? Town Hall, 1119 Eighth Ave., 3257066, earlymusicguild.org. $15–$40. 8 p.m. Sat., April 28.

UW SYMPHONY Wagner, Ravel, and Berg (the Violin Concerto). Meany Hall, UW campus, 543-4880, music.washington.edu. $10–$15. 7:30 p.m. Mon., April 30.

MAY DAY The Seattle Chamber Players, the Seattle Modern Orchestra, and Aaron Otheim & the Skeletons play Cage, Rzewski, and more in this annual newmusic fete. Town Hall, 1119 Eighth Ave., 652-4255, townhallseattle.org. $5–$10. 7:30 p.m. Tues., May 1.

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YOUNG COMPOSERS • SEATTLE SYMPHONY Music by mentorees of composer Sam WORKSHOP

Jones. Benaroya Recital Hall, Third Ave. and Union St., seattlesymphony.org. Free. 7:30 p.m. Tues., May 1.

WEST guitar group

May 31-June 7 The Moore Theatre shearmadnessontour.com

kpcenter.org • 425.893.9900

OADWAY MU ® THE TONY AWARD-WINNING BR

SICAL

ING TRUE STORY INSPIRED BY THE ELECTRIFY

®

Priority seating and discounts for groups of 10 or more, call 888.214.6856 Tickets available through Tickets.com and select Ticketmaster locations.

Additional fees may apply. All sales final, no refunds. Prices, shows, dates, schedules, and artists are subject to change.

Seatt le w eekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

ON SALE NOW! MAY 15-20 • THE PARAMOUNT THEATRE 877-STG-4TIX • STGPresents.org

North American Tour Cast. Photo by Jeremy Daniel.

NEW

april 28 • 8pm kirkland performance center

23

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Use your phone to scan the QR code or Search “VOICE Daily Deals” in the App Store and start saving today.

“Warms up the drab Seattle winter”

Seattle weekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

KOMO NEWS

24

EXTENDED FINAL WEEK HOURS! OPEN UNTIL 9 PM APRIL 23–29 GAuGuIN PolYNeSIA AN eluSIVe PArADISe

Get Your tICketS oNlINe NoW

seattleartmuseum.org/gauguin Image: Three Tahitians (detail), Paul Gauguin, French, National Gallery of Scotland.

An exhibition organized by the Art Centre Basel, Basel, in collaboration with the Ny Carlsberg Glyptotek, Copenhagen, and the Seattle Art Museum, Seattle, Washington.

Sponsors

arts»Visual Arts by kat chow

Openings & Events The AlmosT PerfecT sAle BAC Gallery member

• •

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Send events to visualarts@seattleweekly.com See seattleweekly.com for full listings = Recommended

•

» by brian miller

Museums • ArouNd The BeNd ANd over The edge

Featuring ceramics from Seattle, from 1964 to 1977.

Henry Art Gallery, 4100 15th Ave. N.E., 543-2280, henryart.org. $6–$10. Thurs.–Fri., 11 a.m.–9 p.m.; Wed., Sat., Sun., 11 a.m.–4 p.m. Through May 6.

TheAsTer gATes In The Listening Room, the Chicago artist has rearchived the albums from a defunct R&B record store as a kind of tribute to the Civil Rights era. Flag-like arrangements of fire hoses cover the walls, and he’s set up a DJ’s console on an old church altar, too. Visitors are encouraged to browse through another trove of old vinyl on the floor. Seattle Art Museum, 1300 First Ave., 654-3100, seattleartmuseum.org. $12–$15. Thurs.–Fri., 10 a.m.–9 p.m.; Wed., Sat., Sun., 10 a.m.–5 p.m. Through July 1.

• gAuguiN & PolyNesiA: AN elusive PArAdise

Over a century after his death, the tropical hues and fecund shock of Gauguin’s famous canvases have been thoroughly absorbed into our visual vernacular. Native girls lounging on beaches, the ripe fruit and palm trees— these images are postcard-familiar to us now. The first painting Gauguin (1848–1903) sent back to market—and it didn’t sell until after his death—was the 1891 Vahine no te Tiare (Tahitian Woman With a Flower), whose subject is rather timidly and conventionally posed in a borrowed dress. What blasts through are the primary colors: red, yellow, and blue that set off her startlingly non-Caucasian skin tone. By the time of The Bathers (1897), Gauguin has given himself over to his Polynesian imagination—a river scene of four half-dressed nymphs, garlanded with flowers, guarded by snoozing dogs, a vision of Eden in which the painter himself is the only Adam. To complement Gauguin’s work, SAM presents an equal number of Polynesian artifacts rendered in wood, stone, feathers, bone, etc. The problem with setting these alien-eyed Tiki icons and coconut bowls in an art museum is that they’re not really art. They’re examples, fascinating anthropological specimens from a time before Gauguin.

Note: The show has been extended one week; and SAM will be open late, until 9 p.m., during its final week. BRIAN MILLER Seattle Art Museum. $12–$15. Through April 29.

It’s Pronounced “EE-kat”

Dig those crazy striped bathrobes!

Oh, wait, they’re ikats, the traditional garment of Uzbekistan. Far from the Gauguin-going throng of shoppers and tourists downtown, SAAM can host some odd little exhibits without much commercial appeal. The 60-plus costumes featured in Colors of the Oasis: Central Asian Ikats almost make it a fashion show, if your idea of high fashion is National Geographic.

Instead of an Anna Wintour sensibility, we have more of an anthropological approach, supported by some recent photos and videos, plus remarkable color images taken by Russian photographer Sergei Mikhailovich Prokudin-Gorskii in the early 20th century. At first you can’t believe these photos are a century old; then you can’t believe the garments—worn by both men and women—were so colorful. There’s a gaudy, nearpsychedelic Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat quality to the ikats, whose hues are created entirely out of natural pigments. The weaving is ridiculously labor-intensive (threads are dyed before the cloth is sewn), but what else is there to do on the steppes of Central Asia while waiting for caravans on the Silk Road?

SAAM

artists display and vend their work. Bainbridge Arts and Crafts, 151 Winslow Way E., Bainbridge Island, 842-3132, bacart.org. April 26–29.

ArTifAkT ArT show: The News NoTe This multigenre art show, presented by Seattle arts collective Artifakt, features the work of Agent 0, live art by various Artifakt artists, and live music until the wee hours.

With WD4D, Grym, Pressha, and Solitude. Electric Tea Garden, 1402 E. Pike St., 568-3972, electricteagarden. com. $5. Fri., April 27, 10 p.m.–4 a.m.

Bemis BuildiNg sPriNg ArT show Featuring the varying media of resident artists, including paintings, sculpture, glass, photography, film, and mixed media.

Bemis Building, 55 S. Atlantic St., 621-2146. Sat., April 28, noon–8 p.m.; Sun., April 29, noon–6 p.m. gABriel cAmPANArio He who does those neat little urban vignettes in The Seattle Times talks about drawing techniques and his new book, The Art of Urban Sketching: Drawing on Location Around the World.

Seattle Central Library, 1000 Fourth Ave., 386-4636, spl.org. Sun., April 29, 1–3 p.m. oPeN house: Over 30 artists, including Maru Almeida, Christopher Balder, and Sarah Bank, share their diverse work. 1426 S. Jackson St. Studios, 1426 S. Jackson St., 709-2878, 1426studios.com. Sun., April 29, noon–5 p.m. mikA TAjimA ANd mAry PiNg: Artist Mika Tajima and designer Mary Ping collaborate on a performance within After the Martini Shot, Tajima’s ongoing SAM Next exhibition, featuring models wearing sculptural garments made from printed paper. Seattle Art Museum, 1300 First Ave., 654-3100, seattleartmuseum.org. $15.

Sat., April 28, 11 a.m.–4 p.m.

TheFussyeye

The intricate patterns are non-figurative, owing to that whole Islamic prohibition thing; though for that reason, they don’t seem so fixed in time. Yes, a newer ikat—the technique is being rediscovered after Soviet suppression—could be used as a bathrobe, but you could also see them onstage at PNB or TZZ. There’s an almost theatrical boldness to an ikat; it’s like a boast in color. And you wonder (the show doesn’t explain) if they were created in response to the absence of color when the grass turns brown. Then comes a very long winter of dyeing and sewing.

Seattle Asian Art Museum, 1400 E. Prospect St., 654-3100, seattleartmuseum.org. $5–$7.

10 a.m.–5 p.m. Wed.–Sun. (open until 8 p.m.

Thurs.). Ends Aug. 5.

How do we find the courage to be...

Hero, Saint, Secular Saint?

As we confront the natural evils of death and pain; and the human evils of violence, cruelty, and indifference?

Applying the ideas of Pulitzer Prize-winning philosopher and anthropologist Ernest Becker, Professor Ambrosio will illuminate how by following the paths of Hero, Saint, or Secular Saint we can live with minimal denial, and act compassionately in “humiliated hope.”

Death Terror and Heroism: A Genetic Interpretation of the Cultural Record 7 P.M., Communications Building Room 120, University of Washington

Wednesday May 2 Becker, Dante and St. Francis of Assisi: Love and Death 3:30 P.M., Johnson Building Room 022, University of Washington

Thursday May 3

Dr. Francis Ambrosio

Hope in an Age of Terror: The Identity of the Secular Saint 7 P.M., Wyckoff Auditorium, Engineering 200, Seattle U

is an award-winning teacher and Dante scholar as well as the presenter of the All events free and open acclaimed Great Courses™ video to the public. lecture series, “Philosophy, Religion, and For more information, visit the Meaning of Life.” www.ernestbecker.org

Friday May 4 Roundtable Discussion with Dr. Ambrosio 2 P.M., Casey 516, Seattle U

Seatt le w eekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

Tuesday May 1

25

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SEATTLE CINERAMA PRESENTS:

Seattle weekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

Hide/Seek Hide/Seek is a gay-centric group show

Monday - Friday 3-7PM

Just steps away from the Space Needle!

26

arts»Visual Arts

Fri. Apr. 27th

Saturday April 28

Sunday April 29

7:00 Terminator 10:30 Terminator 2 *70mm

12:30 tron *70MM Print 3:30 ghostbusters *70MM Print 7:00 star trek 2 *70MM Print 10:30 brazil

11:00 forbidden planet 2:00 ET 5:30 planet of the apes 9:00 matrix

organized by the Smithsonian, now on its West Coast tour. The rainbow roster includes heavyweight names like Eakins, O’Keeffe, Rauschenberg, Mapplethorpe, and Warhol. Mostly men, with few up-and-comers here, the exhibit is like a pantheon of Dead White Gay Men (DWGM). The roughly 90 works—mostly paintings and photos, plus a few videos—are divided into historical and post-WWII galleries. Thus it’s possible to construct a happy historical progression from Walt Whitman’s 19th-century freedom to the closet (and its codes) to Stonewall and AIDS and, finally, gay marriage. The problem with this kind of up-fromslavery reading of the art, as the DWGM might tell you, is that their lives and circumstances weren’t so simple. Was Andy Warhol more or less free, more or less tormented, than Thomas Eakins? Which man put more of himself into his art, imbued it with more longing or less sex? A good example of this ambiguity is Grant Wood’s 1930 Arnold Comes of Age, impossible to see now as anything but a screaming case of repression. Prim, prissy, V-necked Arnold turns away from some nude male bathers in what—disgust, longing, self-disgust, fear, or Protestant self-denial?

Lips pursed, hair neatly combed, he’s both pitiable and ridiculous. There’s a Midwestern sadness to his not getting what he (presumably) wants in life, but are all “liberated” gay men truly happy today? Full of good individual pieces, Hide/Seek means well, but it’s inherently reductive. The show doesn’t exactly create a Fire Island ghetto of gay artists; rather, it subordinates individual achievement to group identity.

I’d much rather see a Warhol show, a Minor White show, a Marsden Hartley show than a greatest-gayhits sampler such as this. BRIAN MILLER Tacoma Art Museum, 1701 Pacific Ave., Tacoma, 253-272-4258, tacomaartmuseum.org. $8–$10. Wed., Fri.–Sun., 10 a.m.–5 p.m.; Thurs., 10 a.m.–8 p.m. Through June 10.

Gary Hill glossodelic attractors includes 12 of Hill’s works, which consider how visual and verbal communication are experienced and affect each other. His show opens Friday and runs until Sept. 16. Henry Art Gallery, $6–$10. Through Sept. 16.

NortHweSt BieNNial TAM celebrates 30 different artists from the region. Open to 8 p.m. on Thurs.

Tacoma Art Museum. $8–$10. Through May 20.

Now & tHeN Since 1982, one of the enduring small pleasures to opening The Seattle Times on Sunday has been Paul Dorpat’s before-and-after photo feature, which supplies most of the 200-plus images in Now & Then, MOHAI’s final show before moving to SLU next year. In one poignant image, we see Paul Thiry’s original 1952 design for the museum, which had to be rather

brutally flipped and modified when the 520 bridge was built. Soon it’ll be demolished for a new bridge.

If there is a lesson to be imparted here, it is that time stands still for no one, no building, not even our original city topography. Because so many of the photos are familiar in this urban history show, arranged mostly by neighborhood, there’s a kind of continuity to the constant disruption. Lake Washington is suddenly lowered; the city suddenly rebuilds after the 1889 fire; the Alaskan Way Viaduct suddenly blights the waterfront … and just as suddenly, it, too, will be gone.

The poignancy to the show—which increases with the age of the visitor—is to be faced with the constant process of destruction and disappearance. First your childhood home is razed for a freeway or a condo or a stadium; then you’re the one being plowed into the earth. Dorpat’s partner, French-born Jean Sherrard, is responsible for most of the newer, color images of our present Seattle. Dorpat, a Seattle native, is more the archivist. He was there when the Space Needle began to rise, exactly 50 years ago; though in its half-built form, it almost seems a crumbling ruin. BRIAN MILLER Museum of History and Industry, 2700 24th Ave. E., 324-1126, seattlehistory.org. $6–$8. Through June 7, 10 a.m.–5 p.m.

PuSH Play: tHe 2012 NCeCa iNvitatioNal The National Council on Education for the Ceramic Arts is represented by 33 international artists. Bellevue Arts Museum, 510 Bellevue Way N.E., Bellevue, 425-5190770, bellevuearts.org. $7–$10. Tues.–Thurs., Sat., Sun., 11 a.m.–5 p.m.; Fri., 11 a.m.–8 p.m. Through June 17. dirk StaSCHke Try to restrain yourself from taking a bite of Staschke’s ceramic food sculptures in his first solo museum exhibition, Falling Feels a Lot Like Flying, inspired by desire and consumption. Bellevue Arts Museum. $7–$10. Through May 27.

JameS turrell: SkySPaCe Skyspace stands on two concrete pillars in the Henry’s erstwhile sculpture courtyard. On the exterior, thousands of LED fixtures under the structure’s frosted glass skin create slowly shifting colors, making the pavilion a spectacular piece of public art every night. Inside, the ellipse of sky seen through the chamber’s ceiling suddenly appears to be very, very close, a thin membrane bulging into the room. Wispy bits of cirrus clouds passing by appear to be features on the slowly rotating surface of a luminous, egg-shaped blue planet suspended just overhead. Emerging from the Skyspace, I find the night wind and the light in the clouds come to me through freshly awakened senses.

A dreamy, happy feeling follows me home like the moon outside my car window. DAVID STOESZ. Henry Art Gallery. $6–$10.

•

For full schedule check out

CEDRIC WATSON

Cinerama Science Fiction Film Festival is made possible through the generosity of

paul G. Allen Presented by:

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& BIJOU CREOLE

Community Partner:

Opening May 3, 11:59 pm show

Palette

May 4 – May 9 - 12:00 3:30 7:00 10:30

SEATTLE’S WIDEST SCREEN SUPERIOR TECHNOLOGY Fresh Chocolate Popcorn, Cupcake Royale, Theo Choc & so much more

2100 4TH AVENUE, SEATTLE WA • (206) 448-6680

April 28 8pm

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film»This Week’s Attractions

206.324.9996 | siff.net

PLAYING APRIL 27– MAY 3

511 Queen Anne Avenue North

A film for PINA BAUSCH

by WIM WENDERS

LAURENT THURIN-NAL/KINO LORBER

P Damsels in Distress

OPENS FRI., APRIL 27 AT HARVARD EXIT. RATED PG-13. 99 MINUTES.

The Fairy RUNS FRI., APRIL 27–THURS., MAY 3 AT VARSITY. NOT RATED. 93 MINUTES.

Since their irresistibly madcap 2005 debut Iceberg, Belgium-based filmmakers, actors, and former clowns Dominique Abel, Fiona Gordon, and Bruno Romy have been spinning splashy, near-absurdist whimsy out of limber-limbed pantomime and a Jacques Tati-esque sensibility for droll geometry and framing. The trio’s latest, The Fairy, is their most expensive and technically polished confection, which sometimes makes the film feel underwhelming since, like their two earlier, distinctly lo-fi efforts, its

Indie Game: The Movie OPENS FRI., APRIL 27 AT SIFF FILM CENTER. NOT RATED. 94 MINUTES.

Seattle is home to legions of pallid, sleepdeprived programmers, and Microsoft’s Xbox gaming platform is central to this insightful new geek documentary. Well-directed by first-timers Lisanne Pajot and James Swirsky, Indie Game ought then to be a perfect fit for this market, but it fails in one crucial respect. There is a bright line, likely determined by age, between those who game and those who don’t, and the film makes no concessions to the latter camp. The doc gains remarkable access to three groups of designers, one of whom hopes to recreate “that experience of playing games before the Internet existed.” Childhood nostalgia runs deep among the four main subjects, all white dudes in their late 20s/early 30s who crave “connection” with more young white dudes essentially just like them. They’re obsessed, incredibly overstressed as they try to meet the deadlines imposed by cruel Microsoft, and more than a little sad.

The luckiest has an understanding wife. The unluckiest is stuck in his fourth year of development hell; bright and articulate, he worries that the zeitgeist may have passed since the first promising demo version of his game. Perfectionism can mean missing your precious slot in the market. As in Hollywood, which shares the same first-weekend-sales mentality, one can be washed up (or burned out) at a very young age in the gaming racket. The indie model here means a bit of start-up funding, then marathon hours for very small teams of developers—and

Fri–Sun only: By request!

Regular 2D 35mm presentation Sun–Thurs: in Dolby 3D

Gordon and Abel make with the whimsy in The Fairy.

forget about health insurance or vacation days.

Though Indie Game doesn’t pretend all its subjects will prosper, it tells us nothing about the success/failure ratio of indie entrepreneurs, the broader vid-game market (worth more than $40 billion last year), or a youth culture that’s been profoundly changed by gaming. It’s like writing about McDonald’s without mentioning the obesity epidemic. BRIAN MILLER

It Came From Detroit RUNS SAT., APRIL 28–WED., MAY 2 AT GRAND ILLUSION. NOT RATED. 87 MINUTES.

Director James R. Petix will be on hand Saturday to present his lovingly rendered doc about his hometown’s storied garage-rock culture. Before Eminem started repping 8 Mile and Kid Rock made Michigan look trashier by coming from there, Detroit boasted a rich musical past as the home of Motown Records and rock royalty including Suzi Quatro, the MC5, and Iggy and the Stooges. It Came From Detroit argues that despite the city’s current woes (population loss, manufacturing decline, etc.), the vein of quality rock still runs deep.

(And, as one interviewee notes, living among all those vacant buildings means no neighbors to complain about your noisy rehearsals.) Petix follows the career of Detroit musicians who’ve striven to revive the ’60s garage-rock style— like Dan Kroha, who formed cult favorites the Gories in the ’80s, then donned wig, fishnets, and lipstick to play in the all-girl Demolition Doll Rods. Then there was The Go, “the hottest shit band ever,” which signed to Sub Pop Records in the late ’90s and fired their guitarist for not fitting in. Oops. That guitarist, Jack White, was then free to focus on his other band, the White Stripes, which became Detroit’s biggest rock success story. Petix also reveals that not everyone’s so proud of their native son: The Von Bondies’ Jason Stollsteimer speaks bitterly about his infamous fistfight with White. Tom Potter, of the punk duo Bantam Rooster, says somewhat huffily, “We did predate the White Stripes as a two-piece.” Note: A performance

by Hausfrau follows the Saturday screening.

ERIN K. THOMPSON

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 28

Seattle Center Northwest Rooms

“THIS FILM DELIVERS! Possibly the most mature look at video games yet.” –IndieWire

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Monkey Business Sat & Sun 12:00

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Seatt le w eekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

Back with his first film in 14 years, Whit Stillman still operates in a world of his own.

With Damsels in Distress, Stillman’s urbanhaute-bourgeoisie-as-endangered-species sympathies are more refined than ever. On her first day at Seven Oaks College, transfer student Lily (Analeigh Tipton) is scooped up by a trio of prepossessed coeds who school her on campus culture and their own oddly refined sensibilities. Over group strolls and bunk-bed chats, cardigan-clad ringleader Violet (Greta Gerwig), prim Rose (Megalyn Echikunwoke), and petite Heather (Carrie MacLemore) preach the virtues of good hygiene, dating down to lessintelligent boys (“It’s more rewarding,” reasons Violet, “and, in fact, quite reassuring”), and suicide prevention via the restorative potential of the old soft-shoe. (“Tap is a highly effective therapy,” Violet insists.) Lily serves as our disoriented guide—and increasingly emboldened voice of reason—through this refracted, artificial world. Yet while she’s a more relatable everygirl, it’s anachronistic, hopelessly romantic, impeccably mannered Violet who prevails as Stillman’s heroine. When her mouthbreathing boyfriend ditches her for a more sexually aggressive gal, she falls apart almost as a matter of decorum. Her bounce-back? Hope for a new, self-authored dance craze called the sambola. Four features in, Whit Stillman’s cinematic sensibility is both plain as day and hard to pin down. Dancing breaks out in all his films, usually just because. All the cardigans and brass-buttoned blazers in the world can’t cloak that kind of eccentricity. ERIC HYNES

primary motive is stringing together DIY gags from the silent era. In the port town of Le Havre, an awkward romance blossoms between hapless hotel clerk Dom (Abel) and the titular redhead (Gordon), who is either a wish-fulfilling sprite or an escaped mental patient. The rest is utter silliness: A skinny-dip in the ocean becomes an underwater dance sequence; Gordon literally balloons from zero to nine months pregnant in a few seconds; and rear-screen projection adds the proper kinesis to an attempted scooter rescue of a baby from the top of a moving car. But while every scene is art-directed with zest and innovatively staged, The Fairy rarely inspires outright laughter. At least it respects its influences more than The Artist does. AARON HILLIS

OSCAR® NOMINEE BEST DOCUMENTARY

27

film»

P Jean Gentil

Runs FRi., ApRil 27–ThuRs., MAy 3 AT nORThwesT FilM FORuM. nOT RATed. 84 MinuTes.

Although it’s steeped in tragedies both personal and cultural, this contemplative, gorgeously shot documentary/fiction hybrid from husband-and-wife auteurs Israel Cárdenas and Laura Amelia Guzmán nevertheless keeps an unsentimental distance from its titular saint/savant and the existential crisis he endures. That’s doubly impressive considering Jean Gentil’s star and subject— the meek but inexplicably commanding Jean Remy Genty—is a friend of the filmmakers.

A Haitian immigrant in the Dominican Republic in real life and in the movie, Jean (celluloid version) is forced to look for work in Santo Domingo after losing his job as a French and English teacher, along with GRETA

ADAM ANALEIGH

MEGALYN

his living quarters. Things go from bad to worse—Jean’s unwavering Christianity mostly keeps him from making social and ethical compromises that could lead to new work and ultimately drives him deeper into confused, self-defeating cynicism. Jean resorts to rural homelessness, where a few odd jobs, furtive connections, and the solace of nature imply, but never assure, a tenuous redemption. This is dark, heady stuff, but Cárdenas and Guzmán neither shortchange the rigor of Jean’s spiritual inquiry (his frequent prayers press God on the possibility that He’s an inscrutable fraud) nor ignore the meaningful everyday intimacies that elude the middle-age professor. And, with the exception of its near–non sequitur climactic aerial pan of earthquake-ravaged Port-auPrince (captured after primary shooting was complete), Jean Gentil is informed by regional strife rather than dominated by it. Note: The directors will attend and introduce two prior titles on Friday and Saturday. Mark HOLCOMB CARRIE

HUGO

RYAN

BILLY

GERWIG BRODY TIPTON ECHIKUNWOKE MACLEMORE BECKER METCALF MAGNUSSEN

“AN EXHILARATING GIFT OF A COMEDY! NOT TO BE MISSED!” -PETER TRAVERS, ROLLING STONE

“AN UTTER DELIGHT! HILARIOUS!” -LESLIE FELPERIN, VARIETY

WHIT STILLMAN’S

OFFICIAL SELECTION

VENICE

FROM THE WRITER AND DIRECTOR OF SOUNDTRACK AVAILABLE ON

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METROPOLITAN WRITTEN, PRODUCED AND DIRECTED BY

AND THE

WHIT STILLMAN

FILM FESTI VALS

P Monsieur Lazhar Opens FRi., ApRil 27 AT egypTiAn. RATed pg-13.

94 MinuTes.

A blanket of white covers Montreal inside and out in this understated, affecting Canadian drama.

The schoolyard where Alice (Sophie Nélisse) and Simon (Émilien Néron) exchange their usual morning jabs is capped with snow, their classroom filled with bright winter light. Within the film’s first minutes, the brisk, clean-aired comfort of that light is cut by an incongruous moment of darkness, and the rest of writer/director Philippe Falardeau’s fourth feature charts the resulting wave of grief as it breaks across a school community. Alice and Simon’s class gets a new coat of paint and a new teacher—the monsieur of the title (Mohamed Fellag), a mysterious Algerian emigrant—as the school attempts to cope with an incident I’d rather not give away. Falardeau meshes Lazhar’s secrets and the hidden turbulence of the situation he has stepped into with a sensitivity that lifts the story out of refugee cliché.

Nélisse, with her tough Courtney Love puss, and Néron’s portrayal of a boy’s welldefended torment, are both extraordinary, as is the film’s realization of the small, temporary world that surrounds them. Hitting upon that kind of specificity—of a moment and its emotion—makes for strong memories and a really great movie. MICHELLE OraNGE Lotus FiLms/Kino Lorber

This Week’s Attractions » from pAge 27

Safe

LAST DAYS OF DISCO

Opens FRi., ApRil 27 AT pAciFic plAce And OTheR TheATeRs. RATed R. 94 MinuTes.

WWW.SONYCLASSICS.COM

The pulpy scenarios change, but squinty action hero Jason Statham remains chiseled, coiled, and ready to hurl himself into scores VIEW THE TRAILER AT WWW.DAMSELSINDISTRESSMOVIE.COM of grimacing baddies like a goddamn human 4.81” X 3.5" WED 4/25 cannonball. In writer/director Boaz Yakin’s SEATTLE WEEKLY preposterously enjoyable—or enjoyably preposterous—action-thriller, Statham headAE: (circle one:) Artist: (circle one:) ART APPROVEDlines as disgraced NYPD supercop-turnedAngela Maria Josh cage fighter Luke, whose refusal Aurelio Heather Staci Freelance 2 AE APPROVEDsmall-time to take a dive gets his wife murdered by the Tim McCool Emmett Jay Steve Freelance 3 CLIENT APPROVEDRussian mafia. Banished to a remorseful life of homeless shelters and paranoia, our Deadline: Confirmation #: chrome-domed badass crawls up from rock bottom for some vengeance (read: justification to open arteries all over Manhattan) when he stumbles upon the film’s MacGuffin: a 10-year-old Chinese prodigy (Catherine Chan) who has memorized a valuable numerical code. Protecting the young girl against a multifront underworld war of Russians, their Chinese Triad rivals, and the crooked-cop crew who tarnished his name for not taking payouts, Luke’s self-imposed redemptive mission fits snugly in his portrayer’s cinematic wheelhouse—cracking skulls, then wise.

Safe is neither as franchise-friendly as The Transporter nor as boorishly experimental as Crank: High Voltage, but Yakin’s sleek, visually witty direction (a static inside-the-car 28

Seattle weekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

STARTS FRIDAY, APRIL 27

On

Visit iTunes.com/SPC

Whores’ Glory: The same old profession, as practiced today in Thailand.

shot of a thug getting run over twice nabs two laughs) elevates his undeniably dopey script. aarON HILLIS

P Whores’ Glory

Runs FRi., ApRil 27–ThuRs., MAy 3 AT nORThwesT FilM FORuM. nOT RATed. 119 MinuTes.

As with meat processing and politics, the day-to-day drama, tedium, and heartbreak of prostitution have little to do with our spoon-fed fantasies about the profession.

Michael Glawogger’s fearless Whores’ Glory demystifies trick-turning with a bluntness and artistry that’s sure to make even the most jaded among us choke on our next sitcom-hooker-joke chuckle. Glawogger is most interested in the ways whoredom supports and contradicts a culture, and to that end divides Whores’ Glory into three distinct parts. The first sets the stage in a “fishbowl” brothel in Bangkok, where middle-class johns live out their glitzy porn fantasies in streamlined, near-antiseptic conditions. The shock here comes from how matter-of-fact it all is—the workaday routine of the girls puts the grind in “bump and grind.” It’s in the second segment, in a prostitution district in Bangladesh, that the ghastly sadness and lack of options inherent in the trade truly surface, as dozens of women and girls vie (sometimes violently) for a steady stream of primarily Muslim men and forestall impoverished, lonely old age as best they can. The final third, in the Mexican border town of Reynosa, brings the baroque: Drive-through hooking is the norm, while between gigs— and we finally see what whores do for their money here—the women, many of whom were kidnapped into prostitution, bond over hard drugs and a black-magic strain of Catholicism. If Glawogger resists feeling anything besides clinical interest in his case studies, it hardly detracts from their humanity. Mark HOLCOMB E film@seattleweekly.com

online » seattleweekly.com amore See reviews of The Five-Year Engagement,

Goon, The Pirates! Band of Misfits, The Raven, and We Have a Pope.

film»

BY BRIAN MILLER

MARLEY’ IS SURE TO BECOME THE

“‘

DEFINITIVE DOCUMENTARY

• PLANET OF THE APES “Get your stinking paws off

Local Film OF DARKNESS Before Sam Raimi started the • ARMY Spider-Man franchise, before Peter Jackson’s LOTR

•

•

THE NATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL FOR TALENTED YOUTH SEE THE WIRE, PAGE 19.

NOTES ON THE CINEMATOGRAPHER: THE FILMS OF ROBERT BRESSON NWFF begins this retrospec-

•

tive, containing a half-dozen titles, with the 1943 drama Les Anges du Péché, about crime and punishment in a convent. One woman take the righteous path while the other follows a sinful trail. Or, Bresson suggests, they are intertwined. (NR) Northwest Film Forum, $6-$10, Tue., May 1, 7 p.m.; May 2-10.

Send events to film@seattleweekly.com See seattleweekly.com for full listings = Recommended

•

•

STREET: THE BEST OF BRITISH FILM • SHADOW British director Carol Reed was regarded as someNOIR

thing like a young Hitchcock when The Fallen Idol was originally released here in 1948. His thriller demonstrates the assimilation of various Hitchcock suspense effects; shown in extreme long shot, the mysterious interaction that an 8-year-old boy witnesses early on between a butler and a winsome secretary anticipates the strategies of Rear Window. But Reed is less ruthless than Hitchcock in directing the viewer. Thanks in part to Graham Greene’s script, however, he does create an atmosphere of free-floating, audience-implicating guilt. The boy spies on the butler and secretary and is unavoidably involved in their affair. Midway through, the wronged wife sets a trap that enables Reed to toss off some sensational set pieces--a wildly expressionist game of hide-and-seek, and the shock that sends the terrified boy running out alone into the night, straight into the arms of the law.

Altering Greene’s original ending, The Fallen Idol has that rare denouement that can be considered neither happy nor unhappy. (NR) J. HOBERMAN Seattle Art Museum, 1300 First Ave., 654-3100, seattleartmuseum.org, $53-$59 series, $8 individual, Thursdays, 7:30 p.m. Through May 24.

SOUTH SEAS DREAMS In conjunction with its bit Gauguin show (ending April 29), SAM is screening several titles that either embrace or undermine what the museum calls “Tahiti as Cinematic Paradise.” Tonight: 1987’s Oviri (aka The Wolf at the Door) has Donald Sutherland playing the famous artist himself. (NR) Seattle Art Museum, $20-$23 (series), $8 (individual), Fri., April 27, 7:30 p.m.

– Jordan Mintzer, HOLLYWOOD REPORTER

OFFICIAL SOUNDTRACK AVAILABLE NOW ON 2CD & 3LP

A FILM BY KEVIN MACDONALD

BOBMARLEYMOVIE.COM MAGPICTURES.COM

SEATTLE WEEKLY THUR 4/26 1 COL. (2.33”) X 4” ALL.MAR.0426.SW

AM

4 COLOR

THEATERS: Admiral, 2343 California Ave. SW, 938-3456;

Big Picture, 2505 First Ave., 256-0566; Big Picture Redmond, 7411 166th Ave. NE, 425-556-0566; Central Cinema, 1411 21st Ave., 686-6684; Cinebarre, 6009 SW 244th St. (Mountlake Terrace)., 425-672-7501; Cinerama, 2100 Fourth Ave., 448-6680; Crest, 16505 Fifth Ave. NE, 781-5755; Egyptian, 801 E. Pine St., 781-5755; Grand Illusion, 1403 NE 50th St., 523-3935; Guild 45, 2115 N. 45th St., 781-5755; Harvard Exit, 807 E. Roy St., 781-5755; iPic Theaters, 16451 N.E. 74th St. (Redmond), 425-6365601; Kirkland Parkplace, 404 Park Place, 425-827-9000; Lincoln Square, 700 Bellevue Way N, 425-454-7400; Majestic Bay, 2044 NW Market St., 781-2229; Meridian, 1501 Seventh Ave., 223-9600; Metro, 4500 Ninth Ave. NE, 781-5755; Northwest Film Forum, 1515 12th Ave., 2675380; Oak Tree, 10006 Aurora Ave. N, 527-1748; Pacific Place, 600 Pine St., 888-262-4386; Seven Gables, 911 NE 50th St., 781-5755; SIFF Cinema at the Uptown, 511 Queen Anne Ave. N., 324-9996; SIFF Film Center, 305 Harrison St. (Seattle Center), 324-9996.; Thornton Place, 301 NE 103rd St., 517-9953; Varsity, 4329 University Way NE, 781-5755.

IN THEATERS EVERYWHERE APRIL 27!

Seatt le w eekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

trilogy, there were the marching skeletons and new-risen dead threatening humanity in Army of Darkness. The 1993 picture capped Raimi’s Evil Dead series with its signature mixture of humor and horror, gymnastic witches, flagrant historical inaccuracies, and a very irreverent Bruce Campbell. Handy with a shotgun or one-liner, sporting a chainsaw where his right hand should be, Campbell’s S-Mart clerk manages to offend nearly everyone—alive or dead—in a medieval England that looks suspiciously like Pasadena. Raimi barely touches the brakes to explain how Campbell and his 1973 Oldsmobile Delta 88 have been transported back in time. Story logic matters less than action and Three Stooges-style slapstick. Seeking to recapture a spell-book that will somehow return the dead to their proper place, Campbell exudes a goofy gusto and iron-jawed charisma. He’s a B-list Indiana Jones cheerfully winging it with fake, expansive bravado. He and Raimi rewrite medieval history as every bored 12-year-old schoolboy wished it could be. Movie screens at midnight. (R) BRIAN MILLER Egyptian, $8.25, Fri., April 27; Sat., April 28.

AVENGERS ASSEMBLE! With Joss Whedon’s new Avengers movie opening May 4, SIFF is trotting out The Incredible Hulk (8 p.m. Mon.), Iron Man and Iron Man II (a Tues. double-feature beginning at 7 p.m.), the recent 3-D Thor (8 p.m. Weds.), and the 3-D Captain America (8 p.m. Thurs.). (PG-13) SIFF Cinema at the Uptown, $5-$10, May 1-3.

BATTLE ROYALE OMG! Have you got your ticket for The Hunger Games? Are you just dying to see it? Did you read the books? Didn’t you just love the books? Teenagers fighting to the death—what a novel concept, right? Well, now is a good time to trot out the 2000 Battle Royale, directed by the veteran director Kinji Fukasaku, who’s kind of like the Sam Peckinpah of Japan. Only here we have ninth graders, not cowboys, battling to the death on a remote island—yes, something like Lord of the Flies. The film’s nutty premise has these sweet-faced, uniformed schoolkids try to slay one another until only one winner remains. But unlike Hunger Games (or Rollerball or Gladiator), entertainment isn’t the point to this carnageridden spectacular. There are no cameras to relay the allegiances, betrayals, and gore to an audience. Instead, the blood sport is meant as a cautionary, punitive example against disobedient youngsters. (NR) BRIAN MILLER SIFF Cinema at the Uptown, $5-$10, Thu., April 26, 8 p.m.

GAY WEDDING CELEBRATION Our state’s new gay-marriage law is celebrated with a double-feature presentation of I Think I Do (1997), with Alexis Arquette in a college-reunion scenario, and Ang Lee’s acclaimed 1993 The Wedding Banquet, about love and acceptance reaching across ethnic/cultural boundaries. (R) Central Cinema, threedollarbillcinema.org. $8-$15, Wed., April 25, 7 p.m.

GUMS Yes, it’s that 1976 porno very loosely inspired by Jaws, in which a rapacious mermaid threatens mariners with unprovoked fellatio! (NR) Grand Illusion, $5-$8, Fri., April 27, 11 p.m.; Sat., April 28, 11 p.m.

IMPAIRED: MOVIES UNDER THE INFLUENCE The Sprocket Society presents a package of vintage oddities involving drugs, sex, and the like. (NR) Grand Illusion, $5-$8, Fri., April 27, 8 p.m.

LOCKED OUT Discussion follows this recent hour-long dock about a 2009 union strike at a California mining operation. (NR) Keystone Congregational Church, 5019 Keystone Place N., 632-6021, keystoneseattle.org, Free, Fri., April 27, 7 p.m.

MONKEY BUSINESS As part of SIFF’s Film4Families series, the Marx Brothers’ exuberant 1931 comedy is screened. In it, the four siblings cross the Atlantic on a cruise ship filled with snooty travelers. Titanic should’ve been this much fun. (NR) SIFF Film Center, $4, Sat., April 28, noon; Sun., April 29, noon.

me, you damned dirty ape!” Need we say more about our favorite post-apocalyptic film of 1968? In Planet of the Apes, the late Charlton Heston stars in his second most iconic role (after Ben-Hur), with Roddy McDowall surprisingly recognizable, and effective, under that Oscar-winning monkey makeup. Tautly directed by Franklin J. Schaffner, Apes belongs to the sci-fi genre of Earth-gone-wrong. It’s also a cautionary environmental movie, a parable of de-evolution, a sly satire against racism, and a bit of a Vietnam picture, too. Astronaut Heston and his crew, spun forward in time to a planet they don’t recognize, are quickly captured and humiliated by a foe whose society seems primitive in comparison to their own. There’s a lot of hubris to Heston, one of America’s physically proudest and most graceful leading men, and he has it all beaten out of him by the movie’s famous ending on the beach. 1968 was a year of crisis in the U.S., and Apes suggests—in its hugely entertaining popcorn fashion—that mankind might deserve its self-inflicted ruination. Call for showtimes. (PG) BRIAN MILLER Central Cinema, $6-$8, April 27-May 1.

SCIENCE FICTION FILM FESTIVAL Paul Allen’s ongoing film festival features titles like 2001: A Space Odyssey, the original 1953 The War of the Worlds, Tron (the 1982 version), Forbidden Planet, Barbarella, Dune, and Soylent Green. On Fri., April 27, we like The Terminator. Who knew the that the future Republican governor of California once worked in the movies? We had no idea. James Cameron made a star of Arnold Schwarzenegger in this tremendously enjoyable and propulsive 1984 action smash. In a masterstroke of casting, the Austrian bodybuilder plays a robot sent back in time to kill mankind’s future savior. His overmuscled stiffness and puny command of the English language become the movie’s strengths, of course, as Michael Biehn and Linda Hamilton (the chosen mother) battle a hulk that seems unstoppable. See Cinerama website for full schedule and details. (R) BRIAN MILLER Cinerama, $12, Through May 2; Fri., April 27, 7 p.m.

ON THE MUCH BELOVED KING OF REGGAE.”

29

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Seattle weekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

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food&drink»

Country-Fried Steak

How three regal, rural beef purveyors are weathering the worst economy in 61 years.

A Myrna Loy character might tuck into crab croquettes here while waiting out a rainstorm.

Five years ago, Max Dale’s pulled up its dance floor, but the dimly lit restaurant still feels like the kind of place where people wearing polyester could get into trouble.

Diners are seated in upholstered high-backed booths into which wandering eyes can’t trespass. “I always kid the crew that I think there have been as many divorces as engagements in those booths,” owner Paul Pickering says.

“This is a great spot for doing business.”

When the restaurant opened in 1951, Max and Pauline Dale slung burgers. But “Max was pretty good friends with the Rosellinis,” Pickering recalls. Legendary restaurateur Victor Rosellini, who introduced classy dining to downtown Seattle, persuaded the Dales to rewrite their business plan. An electrical fire destroyed the restaurant in 1976, but the Dales

CHUCKANUT MANOR SEAFOOD & GRILL 3056 Chuckanut Dr., Bow, 360-766-6191, chuckanutmanor.com

Chuckanut Manor has beige siding and a red roof, but it’s hard not to picture the lowslung 1934 building with a neon “Cocktails” sign over its front door in black-and-white.

A Myrna Loy character might tuck into crab croquettes here while waiting out a rainstorm.

And if the building’s evocative, the view out back is even more striking: The Manor overlooks Samish Bay, a majestic meeting of shimmering water and sky.

“The location is unbelievable,” says Pat Woolcock, whose parents purchased the restaurant in 1963. Woolcock has owned Chuckanut Manor since 1975. “The joke is my father gave away a cup of coffee and lost a dollar the first day he was open,” Woolcock says. “But we’re still here.”

The Manor was preceded by the Chuckanut Shell restaurant, which opened soon after a

chain gang cut the road through Bow that allowed Washingtonians to travel north to Fairhaven without boarding an electric train.

The property owner shooed away the Shell’s proprietor when he realized how much money she was making, and the land eventually ended up in the hands of the Tabor family, which built the Manor to serve as their home. Later owners transformed the house into a restaurant.

When Woolcock’s parents took over the Manor, it was one of the area’s few restaurants.

Now the winding road’s lined with restaurants, and Woolcock says the competition has helped sharpen the Manor. “We’ve improved the quality of food a lot,” he says. “Some people might disagree with that, but we have oysters right out of the bay, a great big fresh Dungeness crab gratin, prime rib on Fridays.”

General manager Eric Bemis left the Manor last year to manage the Willows Inn’s wine program. “He cried in my office telling me he was going to do it,” Woolcock says. “I said, ‘Eric, you have to do it. It’s right up your alley.’ ” Bemis is now back at the Manor, and Woolcock says he’s developing a program of winemaker’s dinners and reshaping happy hour.

“Our clientele is elderly because we’ve been here so long, we have a stable clientele,” Woolcock says. “Now we’re trying to inject a new spirit.”

WHISKEY CREEK STEAKHOUSE 1918 Washington St., Keyport, 360-779-3481, whiskeycreeksteakhouse.com

When Pat and Karen Ziarnik bought a 60-year-old tavern outside of Poulsbo, the couple envisioned the good-natured beer joints that were the endpoints of their desert rambles around Tucson, Ariz. “When we got up here, I thought a tavern was a place to meet friends,”

Phyllis Holden has been a staple at Max Dale’s for 33 years.

Pat Ziarnik says. “Come to find out it’s a place to get drunk, where when you fall off your chair, your buddy buys you another drink.”

In 1995, the Ziarniks transformed the Keyport Tavern into a high-end steakhouse. They kept the crooked floors, but banned smokers and replaced the jukebox with a fireplace. Ziarnik describes the current decor as “lots of heads and horns and mounted pheasants.

“It was a scary change, because all the tavern people left and we didn’t have ad money to bring in anyone else,” Ziarnik says. On an early Saturday night, the rebranded Whiskey Creek served 17 customers. “We were so ecstatic, which is pretty sad.”

A write-up in the local paper saved the restaurant, alerting diners to the restaurant’s choice steaks and freshly ground burgers.

“We are a steakhouse all the way,” Ziarnik says. “We hand-cut all our steaks except for the Porterhouse, and I don’t have a band saw or I’d do that.”

The beef’s supplemented by entertainment, including a big-band jazz combo two nights a week, which features a 75-year-old pianist, an 89-year-old bassist, and a 90-year-old trumpeter. “The songs they play are older than me,” jokes Ziarnik, who isn’t yet sure what will happen when they can no longer play—and their fans are no longer well enough to buy a rib-eye steak and listen.

“In the next five to seven years, we’re going to lose these people,” he says. “We might have to change the concept and go after families with 2.5 kids.” E hraskin@seattleweekly.com

Seatt le w eekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

MAX DALE’S STEAK AND CHOP HOUSE 2030 Riverside Dr., Mount Vernon, 360-424-7171, maxdales.com

decided to rebuild on their lot’s back end, using discarded blueprints for a Black Angus Steakhouse. Opened in 1978, the current incarnation of Max Dale’s looks very much like a Black Angus, but has an extra pair of banquet rooms that never became chainstandard.

In 1982, Pickering’s uncle Tony Pickering—the Safeco claims agent who’d handled the fire—bought the restaurant. Pickering joined the restaurant eight years later, starting a tenure that hasn’t yet set any longevity records.

“Seventy-five percent of the serving staff has been here 20 years,” Pickering says. “We’ve got two girls who’ve been here since 1978.”

Although Pickering says the restaurant has succeeded because it’s consistent, he doesn’t feel any pressure to keep everything the way Dale left it. “We’ve changed a lot over the years,” he says, citing the nightclub space which now serves as a martini lounge, whose brand-new menu includes ahi tuna trimmed with wasabi, blue-cheese waffle fries, and chili-lime prawns. “We’re always playing with things.”

But Pickering says he won’t tinker with the salad dressings, made according to Pauline Dale’s original recipes, or the high-backed booths. When Bellingham had a Black Angus, Pickering used to monitor how its customers responded to new menu items and decor changes. “At one point, when everyone was trying to go light, they cut all the booths down, and it was a really bad move,” he says. “We thought ‘Aha! We’re not doing that.’ ” JOSHUA HUSTON

A

two-lane country road shouldn’t lead to a sous vide roast chicken.

When urban eaters turn their tailpipes toward the big city and set out in search of a nice dinner, they’re not chasing the esoteric ingredients and sophisticated techniques that flourish when a zip code’s blessed with a chef surplus. They’re looking for service untainted by city cynicism and food that could conceivably satisfy someone whose work involves heavy lifting and metal tools. And at a number of roadhouses around Puget Sound, they’ll find what they’re seeking in the form of servers hired during the Carter administration, double martinis on special, and thick sirloin steaks that always come with a house salad and buttery rolls.

What they’re unlikely to find are long waits, as the recession’s been unrelentingly tough on the region’s rural steakhouses.

“I’m 61 years old, and this is the worst I’ve ever seen in my entire life,” says Pat Ziarnik, owner of Whiskey Creek Steakhouse in Keyport, a restaurant that used to effortlessly fill every ladder-back log chair in its rustic dining room. “That was before the economic slide,” Ziarnik says of that woebegone period of prosperity. “It’s not that way anymore.”

But while steak knives and prime-rib heat lamps have become staples of repossessed restaurant auctions, a trio of small-town steak and seafood houses—each of which can claim at least a half-century of history—is holding on.

Their stories are here, but their charms are out there: All three are located about 75 miles from downtown Seattle. And lo and behold, it’s the perfect season for a beef road trip.

BY HANNA RASKIN

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outside, Cafe Flora looks a little like a converted greenhouse, which is a savvy marketing strategy: Sidewalk bystanders can peek right in and check out what everyone’s eating, and it’s only slightly creepy. The interior is adorned with plants and colorful paintings of birds, and the granola factor that plagues some vegetarian establishments is notably absent here. Though the menu is exclusively vegetarian, Cafe Flora doesn’t rely on processed, fake meat products to come up with imaginative menu items even the most devoted flesh fiend can admit to enjoying. The Oaxaca tacos are a masterful combination of taste and texture: Creamy, cheesy potatoes come rolled up in crunchy corn tortillas and slathered in more cheese, black bean stew, and sundry salsas. If you absolutely must consume something that tastes like meat, the portobello Wellington, a flaky pastry filled with a finely chopped mushroom-and-pecan concoction and topped with Madeira sauce, is the meatiest vegetarian

approximation of beef you’re likely to encounter without resorting to fried foods. $$ CRUSH 2319 E. Madison St., 302-7874. Jason and Nicole Wilson’s Madison Valley restaurant is becoming like nirvana for a certain class of local grubniks—a whiteon-white temple to Chef Jason Wilson’s James Beard Award-winning modernist’s take on Pacific Northwest cuisine. The renovated 1903 house is beautiful, the restaurant itself wildly popular, and Chef Wilson’s food is occasionally revelatory in the way it can make the simplest things new all over again. A bowl of tagliatelle, a piece of short rib, a slip of foie gras—these are all just ingredients until they are put in just the right hands. And thankfully, the chef and his crew have the skills to make the best of everything they touch. $$$

PIKE PLACE MARKET

CAFE YARMARKA 1530 Post Alley, 521-9054. Stop by this

market stall during a slow moment and you’ll spot the women who run it nimbly folding trays’ worth of pelmeni (tiny meat-stuffed dumplings). The baked piroshki get rewarmed in the microwave, so pass them over in favor of dumplings or stuffed cabbages like that woman in your grandma’s building used to make, with sides of beet and sauerkraut salads. Would ordering a Russian tea cookie for dessert be taking the Slavic thing too far? No, it would not. $ JASMINE THAI 1530 Post Alley, 382-9899. A simple market spot serving familiar Thai: phad Thai, garlic chicken,

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» by sarah anne lloyd

Stauffer’s the Cheese

The Watering Hole: The Nickerson Street Saloon, 318 Nickerson St., 284-8819, QUEEMONT The Atmosphere: The Nickerson Street Saloon sits on possibly the most convoluted corner of the city, neighborhoodwise: that of Dexter, Nickerson, Westlake, and the Fremont Bridge. It’s not really clear whether it’s in Fremont, Queen Anne, or South Lake Union (some call it Queemont)—but if this neighborhood had an anchor, it would be the Nickerson.

Surrounded by a sizable parking lot, the saloon is a butte rising from a low-rise concrete desert, with a large patio sprawling out of one side.

Affectionately referred to as the Nick, it’s not glaringly boring or anything, but it was built for good, unencumbered, old-fashioned hanging out. The minimal, overwhelmingly wooden decor makes for a warm, inviting feel—mostly unintrusive booze signs, but there is one small, uncharacteristic wall full of blues posters, and another full of vinyl tree decals. The food is standard pub fare, but each item indicates just a couple of extra steps of giving a shit: The veggie burgers and sauces are housemade, the burgers hand-formed.

The Barkeep: A barkeep by night, sculptor Jason “Pelon” Stauffer has been at the Nickerson for more than seven years. “I had bartended across the country for 12 years before, from Alaska to New Orleans,” he says, never working at any one bar for more than a year. At the Nick, however, he is master of his domain. “I have a lot of liberties here,” he said with a grin, explaining that he “worked for tons of corporate bars . . . and never imagined this kind

of freedom . . . cutting people off, kicking people out, making things fun for other people.”

Posing for a photo, Stauffer went for looking like as solemn and badass a motherfucker as he could, but between questions he joked with regulars, enthusiastically pulled pints at record speed, and was generally the life of the party.

He takes pride in the Nickerson’s position as a staple of its non-neighborhood, and revels in how “it’s not a scene,” proudly admitting, “I don’t think I would last a year on the other side of the canal.

SARAH ANNE LLOYD

Seattle weekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

seattle: 206.624.6248 • bellevue: 425.747.9012 renton 425.277.1635 • beaverton: 503.643.4512

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A solemn motherfucker? Not really.

“If you come here to the Nick,” he notes, “you came here to the Nick. You didn’t get here on accident.”

The Drink: Jason’s drink is a 7 and 7, “otherwise known as a 14,” he jokes. For those who have never been to a bar, a 7 and 7 is Seagram’s Seven Crown whiskey and 7-Up. Stauffer’s not fiercely dedicated to the drink, but after a long day, or when he’s at a loss for what else to get, it’s definitely his go-to. “It’s never a bad option for me,” he says, later adding that “it goes down easy—too easy.”

The Verdict: Stauffer, the 7 and 7, and the Nickerson are all wrapped into one big package: friendly, welcome, versatile, and ready to fuel good times. E food@seattleweekly.com

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food&drink»Featured Eats green and red curries. New owners dropped Jasmine’s old Moroccan-Thai fusion, but they’ve added a tasty turmeric-rubbed grilled chicken with rice and green salad. Small consolation, some would say. $ PIROSHKY PIROSHKY 1908 Pike Place, 441-6068. There’s a reason piroshkies originated in frosty Russia; fillings like potato and cheese, sauerkraut, smoked salmon, and lamb and onion are a piping-hot reward for making it through the snow and then the thick, buttery bread shell. Every culture seems to have its own bread-withfilling concept, but the miraculous piroshky is by far the heartiest, most satisfying version. If you could curl up like a dormouse and sleep in Piroshky Piroshky from November till March, we bet you would. $ PROCOPIO 1501 Western Ave. Ste. 300 (Pike St. Hillclimb), 622-4280. Procopio’s owner, Brian Garrity, snagged the recipes for 350 exquisite flavors of the Italian frozen dessert—don’t call it ice cream!—from a Milanese gelato master. Better still, he uses fresh, all-natural ingredients and makes everything on site. When this spacious dessert-and-espresso joint, equipped with a patio, dubs itself Seattle’s best gelateria, it’s hard to disagree. Hours vary with the season (and sometimes, it seems, with the phases of the moon); if you’re not going to be in the neighborhood anyway, call ahead. $ SOUND VIEW CAFÉ 1501 T H I S CO D E TO DOWNLOAD THE FREE Pike Place Ste. 501, 623-5700.

SEATTLE WEEKLY Unwind at a window table IPHONE/ANDROID APP and study the cool blue of FOR MORE RESTAURANTS OR VISIT Puget Sound, the Olympics seattleweekly.com reaching impossible heights, and ferries sailing to and fro across the water. It’s undeniably breathtaking. Turn around to see who’s accompanying you and you’ll find a flock of tourists happily chowing down on sandwiches and studying their guide books. Sound View Café serves breakfast all day; the restaurant also offers unremarkable soups and sandwiches. $

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GRAND CENTRAL BAKING COMPANY 214 First Ave.

S., 622-3644. The Grand Central storefront may be tiny, but every day its fan base of lunchers and pastry lovers fills the vaulted brick entryway out front. It’s not just the bread that inspires devotion. Grand Central also makes its sandwiches with local, sustainably raised products: summer tomatoes and Beecher cheese press-grilled between slices of olive bread, a portabella banh mi on an airy Bolo roll. $ TAT’S DELICATESSEN 159 Yesler Way, 264-8287. Tat’s is the place where Philly native Brian Tatman and New Jerseyite Jason Simodejka first pushed their serious East Coast originals on both locals with a taste for the good stuff and expats craving a hit of home. The new Tat’s (with new partner Mike Sichel taking Simodejka’s place) works under the same guiding principles—big deli sandwiches, done in the best Philly tradition—but in a bigger space and with one important addition: beer. $ PONTI SEAFOOD GRILL 3014 Third Ave. N., 284-3000. A

picturesque waterside patio’s meant to relax a restaurant’s guests, but a feeling of sloth seems to have spread to the kitchen at Ponti Seafood Grill, a 30-year old institution on Seattle’s Ship Canal. On a recent visit, salad greens were brown and wilted; clams were overcooked and a tuna steak was limp and flavorless. Cooking problems were compounded by clumsy servers who committed elementary mistakes: Even at entry-level restaurants, it’s gauche to use multiple bottles to fill a single glass of wine and meet a request for more bread by dumping the contents of one basket into the basket already on the table. At a restaurant where entrees average $30, it’s unforgiveable. Still, prom-goers and other celebrants flock here. $$$ RACHA NOODLES & THAI CUISINE 23 Mercer St., 281-8883. Racha’s menu—whose prices match the high-concept decor—contains classics like the notorious “Crying Tiger,” but the chef is also skilled at adapting Thai techniques to non-Thai ingredients with dishes like ahi tuna, a “savory lamb satay,” and a sweet, oily grilled salmon. (The exception: the pad thai, pink with ketchup, which makes the noodles taste like they were made at Dick’s.) Remember, Thai food’s not too hot if you eat it the way the Thais do, with lots and lots of glorious jasmine rice. Tell the kitchen to let ‘er rip. You’ll find you can not only take it, but you’ll keep coming back for more. $$

CHIANG’S GOURMET 7845 Lake City Way N.E., 527-8888.

This warm, lively Maple Leaf restaurant offers two menus: Chinese-American and traditional TaiwaneseSichuan. From the latter, a light, flavorful jellyfish appetizer has a crunchy texture recalling Japanese seaweed salad. Chiang’s also makes a splendid (and massive) seafood hot pot brimming with crab, mussels, whitefish, eel, button mushrooms, and Napa cabbage.

One oddity to look out for: “tofu of strong odor,” golden cubes of musky-smelling tofu served with a soy-garlic sauce that cuts the smell. The restaurant fills up at weekend brunch for Taiwanese dim sum (sweet soy milk, crullers wrapped in rice noodles, steamed humbow stuffed with greens). $ DJAN’S 264 N.E. 45th St., 633-3526. You may think you’re walking into your grandmother’s house at Djan’s until you hit the dining room. Serene and white, it looks like a yoga studio. The menu features standard Thai dishes, with a few surprise hits like the crab rangoon (imitation crab slathered with rich cream cheese and wrapped in a crispy crepe) and Djan’s interpretation of yellow curry, mellow and savory rather than fiery and heavy.

This is Thai spa food, designed to comfort, not electrify.

The restaurant’s regulars will forever be grateful for its choicest contribution to Thai-American cuisine: Djan’s fusion noodles, which combine pad thai ingredients with the tang and fragrance of pad kee mao sauce (and double the vegetables, of course). $ PIES & PINTS 1215 N.E. 65th St., 524-7082. The name of the place states its purpose, but this honesty is offset by the fact that P&P’s pies are only so-so. The underspiced curry pie and predictable burgundy beef pie do little to combat the stereotype of bland British vittles; still, a postpie slice of Guinness chocolate cake with Bailey’s Irish Cream sweetens the pot considerably. Service is friendly and chatty, atmosphere is warm, and kids abound despite the proximity of pints—the comfy 21-and-over bar area is in back, and fills up fast on weekends. $ SUNFLOUR BAKERY & CAFE 3118 N.E. 65th St., 525-1034. Experience a countrified feel in the midst of Ravenna: finicky regulars, pastoral paintings, and an abundance of bright copper kettles. Known for its specialty baked goods and brunch, Sunflour also aspires to be a sophisticated dining spot. Enjoy a cheese plate and bottle of wine with dinner. The Alaskan sockeye was flavorful if slightly dry, though the mushroom ravioli in cream sauce was rich and festive. $ THAI OF WEDGWOOD 7520 35th Ave. N.E. Ste. 3, 5286165. Thai restaurants are a dime a dozen in Seattle, but what makes this place so special is right in its name—it’s in Wedgwood. Nestled among the residential boredom that is northern Wedgwood, it offers all the staples of Thai cuisine with a convenient location for the family set. The satay chicken skewers are as good as any and the pla lard pik (deep fried fish) is a welcome change of pace. Try the pineapple curry—it’s spiced to perfection—but get it with prawns or pork; the chicken can be a little chewy. $

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BURGERMASTER 3040 N.E. 45th St., 525-7100. Compared

to Dick’s, Burgermaster is a Seattle institution that gets very little love. And yet, there’s a lot to love at the Burg, namely its famously diverse menu, delicious Swedish pancakes, car window service (at some locations, anyway) and the sneeze guard on the salad bar. $ HILLSIDE QUICKIES 4106 Brooklyn Ave. N.E., 632-3037.

If you think vegan food means sprouts and wheatgrass, you have yet to face The Truth. Imitation mac ‘n’ cheese made with soy milk and various spices, The Truth tastes similar to the real thing, with an added nutty flavor akin to wild mushrooms. It’s just one of several dozen menu items that ape traditional fare while meeting meat-, dairy-, and pesticide-free standards. A full line of impishly named sandwiches (like the Crazy Jamaican Burger, the Frijole Moly Burger, and the Evil One) and sides like mashed potatoes with gravy make Hillside Quickies more soul food than health food. $ JEWEL OF INDIA 4735 University Way N.E., 523-5275.

The lunch buffet is popular, especially on weekends, in part because it’s on the cheap side and in part because it’s fresh and colorful, with cool slices of marinated cucumber to counter the hearty kormas, biryanis, and pakoras stocked on the self-serve station. Sure, you can skip the middling chai and yawn at the Bollywood music, but the Jewel is a cozy place to chow down on the subcontinent’s greatest hits. $ MY SWEET LORD 5521 University Way N.E., 425-246-8436.

This Hare Krishna eatery is nothing if not unique. Meals are served free, though the cooks do ask for donations, and nearly everything is vegan. The overarching culinary influence is Indian: soup, vegetable, curried rice, and salad. The soup du jour is often a simple broth filled with mushrooms and other veggies, while sandwiches tend to be hearty

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tofu concoctions served on homemade flatbread, with a delicious sauce. Real Change vendors talk politics with hipster kids as live drumming fills the background. $ PORTAGE BAY CAFE 4130 Roosevelt Way N.E., 547-8230.

There’s something about this place that makes it feel as if the sun’s always shining. Maybe it’s the expansive topping bar that lets you put the final touches on your breakfast dish, or the organic menu that keeps guilt out of your morning indulgence. But no matter what dragged you in (and kept you waiting in the winding line outside), Portage Bay’s innovative twist on breakfast classics will make the trek more than worth it. With thick slices of French toast, pancakes, tangy benedicts, spicy herb-roasted potatoes, and chorizo sausages, the list of food choices is long and the unique tastes of each dish even more extensive. $

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CHUTNEYS BISTRO 1815 N. 45th St., 634-1000. Robust

entrees and oven-fresh, fluffy naan make Chutneys one of the better restaurants along 45th. Try the mango chicken: fruity hues and curry enhance perfect cuts of meat. The tender mint lamb kebab gets the flavor right but could benefit from sauce to marry the dish’s components. The salad bar (free with each entrée) stars an excellent garbanzo tamarind chutney that’ll flavor any veggie medley better than dressing. $ ISSIAN 1618 N. 45th St., 632-7010. Issian is a friendly, well-lit, offbeat izakaya—a place where you drink big bottles of Asahi in order to eat salty snacks like squid with kimchi, potato croquettes, sushi (meh), and fried smelt. The restaurant advertises its stone grill, a slab of hot rock that skewered meats are cooked directly on; the hype seems unjustified until you taste the way it caramelizes and crisps up slices of fresh pork belly. $$ KOZUE 1608 N. 45th St., 547-2008. Kozue, which has developed a following for its remarkable quality-price ratio, offers mostly staples—fairly unadventurous nigiri and rolls, tempura, teriyaki, and Japanese fried chicken and pork. Nothing gimmicky or fancy, just slightly

ALittLeRAskin » by hanna raskin

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206.417.9908 • 15323 WESTMINSTER WAY N. In Shoreline (next to Central Market)

The closure of Chez Shea instantly renders outdated every list of Seattle’s most romantic restaurants. The 30-year-old Pike Place fixture was at the top of most such lists, earning accolades for its warm lighting and waterfront view.

It’s not yet clear which local restaurant will inherit Chez Shea’s title. Few new places bother with candles or cultivate the hush required by lovers who’d rather murmur sweet nothings than scream them. But Gael Greene, the longtime New York restaurant critic and author of two erotic novels, believes it’s too soon to eulogize the genre. “I don’t think the romantic restaurant ever went away,” she says. “Where would you go if you’re with a married woman and don’t want to be seen? That could be a romantic restaurant.”

A restaurant doesn’t need to hire strolling violinists or distribute long-stemmed roses to earn romance points from Greene; as she points out, “a jukebox with Sinatra in a roadhouse could be romantic.” Yet she concedes some settings are better suited for parties of two. “The lighting makes you look good,” she says when asked to describe the ideal romantic restaurant. “You can sit side-by-side or corner-to-corner. The buzz is soft, and if it’s not, you can still talk without straining your voice. The waiter and captain aren’t swooping in too often with comments and questions. Foodie with foodie (and even with a slightly uptight foodie), sharing a transporting

Westernized sushi, tasty and freshly prepared. One of the most charming aspects of the restaurant is its eclectic dishware. Food is served on fish-shaped dishes; drinks are poured in attractive mismatched glasses. $ THE ROCKING WOK 4301 Interlake Ave. N., 545-4878.

Despite blunt service, you can’t help but fall in love with the Wok’s spice and flavor explosions. The eggplant with basil practically melts in the mouth, and the crunchy honeydew shrimp, slathered in a delightfully gooey melon sauce, takes the taste buds on a tropical retreat.

Traditional Taiwanese offerings include squid potage, stinky tofu with kimchee, and the popular (and veggie) thousand-layer pancake. $ WALLINGFORD PIZZA HOUSE 2109 N. 45th St., 547-3663.

Situated snugly between two theaters, the pizza house was indeed a house before being converted, and the old living room is now the main dining area and the front stoop has become a deck for outdoor dining. The specialty here is Chicago deep-dish. Its trademark pie, the Dome, is best visualized as a topless calzone, or perhaps a bread bowl, with pizza fillings—er, toppings—baked underneath a mess of gelatinous, cheesy ooze. It’s heavy, ridiculous, and totally tasty. The Full-On is aptly named, with Canadian bacon, mushrooms, sausage, pineapple, green peppers, and onions. $

WEST SEATTLE

LEE’S ASIAN RESTAURANT 4510 California Ave. S.W.,

932-8209. Lee’s Asian, which harbors one of the original chefs from Wild Ginger, lists traditional Thai dishes alongside Sichuan entrees and Singapore noodles. The “duck with plum sauce and bao,” the rich salmon hot muk—thick pink fillets steamed in banana leaves and served in a red curry sauce—and seven-flavor beef (count them: lemongrass, chilies, basil, garlic, ginger, hoisin, and peanuts) are all favorites, but everything here is dependable. The downside is that it’s a true hole in the wall—your flip-flops won’t stick to the floor, but you might have to use your chopsticks to bat at a few flies. $

taste experience can create a sensual intimacy.”

Greene approves of the ambience at La Grenouille, Jean Georges at Trump Tower, and Brasserie Pushkin, where “you can have your crème brûlée caramelized tableside.

“A table for two at the pool in the Four Seasons was wildly romantic, but then so were we in the ’70s,” she adds. “The ’70s were the time between the pill and the plague. We didn’t have the Internet or handheld games to play, so we played with each other. We disco-danced: Dancing led to shared showers, and sex led to kissing.”

In her Delicious Sex: A Book for Women and the Men Who Want to Love Them Better, updated and republished for its 25th anniversary, Greene includes a chapter of suggestions for restaurantgoers seeking romance. She advises women set on seducing their dates to lick their wineglasses and try phrases such as “Can you concentrate on dinner if I touch you here? Here? Oh, dear . . . may I touch that?”

“Obviously I’m a believer in dinner as a time for foreplay,” Greene says now. “If it’s going to be a tasting dinner—something monumental like Per Se or another four-star dining event— I suggest making love first.”

Yet much of the responsibility for creating romance lies with lovers, not with the restaurant serving them, Greene says. “There is no possibility of romance if you carry your cell phone and keep sneaking peeks under the table.” E hraskin@seattleweekly.com

aBLOG ON »FOOD VORACIOUS

SEATTLEWEEKLY.COM/VORACIOUS

Kokanee Sasquatch Scavenger Hunt Check out next week’s Reverb Music Monthly for your chance to win a pair of VIP passes to the SOLD OUT Music Festival (May 25-28, 2012)

- Must be 21+ to enter -

Seatt le w eekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

Five winners will receive a pair of VIP tickets, camping for the weekend and access to the Kokanee Cliff House!

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Seattle weekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

music» »PREVIEW

I Got Based

A professional cynic attempts to unlock Lil B’s unrelenting positivity.

That night after the lecture I went to bed pissed about some petty bullshit. But the next morning, appropriately off the top of my head, I decided to try to see the world through #based glasses. What follows is a diary of one week’s attempts at based thinking.

Day 1 (Thurs., 4/12/12)

8:15 a.m. Woke up 15 minutes before my

Day 4

Noon Listen to fellow music critic and relative based scholar Andrew Matson attempt to explain the philosophy (with local Lil B producer Keyboard Kid) to Jamala Henderson on KUOW. 7 p.m. Spend all day barbecuing, playing the Game of Thrones board game, and then watching Game of Thrones at a friend’s house.

It occurs to me that I may have picked a bad week for this experiment: It’s easy to feel based when it’s just starting to be nice and sunny out, when you’ve got a bunch of rare leisure activities (boats, barbecues, trips to California) and concerts (Jeff Mangum, Pulp) lined up for the week. Would I find it as easy to get based in late January, stuck at home in the rain?

Day 5

1 p.m. For another job, I have to write a diplomatically positive review of an album that I don’t personally enjoy (by Neon Trees, who are like a photocopy of the Killers’ photocopies). A based attitude is actually pretty ideal here, looking for the positive and all that.

8 p.m. Get to see Neutral Milk Hotel’s Jeff Mangum at the Moore tonight. Not a particularly based artist—in fact, that Mangum released only two albums before 14 years of media exile is the exact opposite of Lil B’s madly prolific output. Still, a lot of love in that room.

Day 6

Noon On an airplane to SF to see Pulp, one of my favorite bands in the world, one I never thought I’d get to see, all of which I’m ecstatic

WO SED BA

Noon Decide to start flossing again today.

Positivity. Gums bleed.

1 p.m. Out on a friend’s new pleasure boat for its maiden voyage on one of the first truly springy days of the year. Pretty easy to feel good about it. Appropriate Lil B clip: “B.O.R. (Birth of Rap),” a dreamy track whose video shows “Rare Documented Footage Of Lil B A Private BASED Country Club Where He Is A Member.” Rich-people shit.

OF

Day 3

SY

This might just be the sun, though.

9 a.m.–noon Blog, write, tweet. Honestly feel a little less up today, a little more down.

Opening those shades again helps.

2–3 p.m. Meet a friend at Bauhaus, take their dog to the dog park, hang out in the sun, feeling based.

5 p.m. Pushy old people at the bar crowding our table. Silently hating on them.

6:30 p.m. Cashier at Am Appy says my name looks “sorta familiar” when he runs my credit card. I feel maybe .001% of the fame that floats Lil B’s based lifestyle.

about, and yet . . . my positivity is flagging.

Two talkers are seated next to me, and it turns out the free-flowing—so central to Lil B’s based world—turns deeply (more) annoying from airplane seatmates. The old woman and middle-aged man occasionally pantomime flapping open their Kindles as if to read, but this is only an ornate mating dance punctuating the interminably inane flapping open of their mouths. I am not, as Lil B’s lecture advised, looking at these people like they’re “golden million-dollar babies”; I’m thinking old people are worse than babies, even crying ones on airplanes, because old people should know better. Not my most based moment.

Notably, I don’t put on Lil B to try to drown/ zone it out, but rather Pachanga Boys’ 15-minute chill-out “Time” on a loop.

9 p.m. Even at this amazing Pulp show, I can’t help but fire off hateful tweets about the fucking terrible opening act (Ariel Pink). Say this for me: I’ve at least never had a problem with the speaking my mind/running my mouth part of based living. (It also occurs to me: This whole article could be deeply embarrassing, but saying every dumb thing is kind of the point, right?)

Day 7

2:30 p.m. Before this week, I’d been only a casual Lil B fan, the sort who knows him as meme first and music second.

So for this day off in ridiculously beautiful SF, I’m walking around listening to the Lil B joints I downloaded for this trip: the scattershot White Flame mixtape, 2011’s largely upbeat and inspirational I’m Gay (I’m Happy), and the beatless, ambient/spoken-word oddity Rain in England. You can try to get into Lil B in such album-sized chunks, but really Lil B is beyond the album, and YouTube surfing seems the more appropriate mode.

As Matson, a based scholar compared to me, put it, there are several streams of Lil B’s music you can dip into: his celebrity lookalike goofs (“I’m Fabio,” “I’m Miley Cyrus,” etc.), his cooking dance, even the odd “evil” tracks or mixtapes. The based world is propelled by a prolific, first-thought-best-thought approach to recording (which allows for negative thoughts, too; there is, for instance, an infamous clip of him pointing a gun to his head and exhaling smoke to the strains of Elliott Smith’s “Angeles” on the 2011 track “I Hate Myself”). The songs are funny and serious, happy and sad, nonsensical—literally to the point where the words don’t really mean

Lil B wants you to have serenity.

Now.

anything anymore—and self-contradictory. A lot of them are actually really, really good.

Based thinking isn’t about sugarcoating or rose-colored glasses so much as taking the bad with the good and just rolling with it. Lil B’s book Takin’ Over, it should be noted, goes into greater depth, though perhaps not greater coherency, about his worldview. I couldn’t find a copy this week, though, so I’m taking his songs and his lecture as my primary texts.

On some level, I think it’s about mindfulness: It’s OK if you get depressed, if some dumb shit gets you down. Just feel that, and go on with it.

Then feel the next thing and be positive again.

Taking stock of the week: Yeah, I’ve been pissed and glum, I still hate on stuff, but that’s OK. It’s all part of it. I also woke up every day and decided to feel positive, and I do. I feel better. I think I feel based.

I’m gonna try to do it again next week. E music@seattleweekly.com LIL B Neumos, 925 E. Pike St., 709-9442, neumos.com. $20 adv. 21 and over. 7 p.m. Sun., April 29.

Seatt le w eekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

alarm. Based. Fired off some e-mails, wrote a sarcastic tweet about positivity. Easing into it.

Pitch this story to my editor.

11 a.m. Open the shades, let some sun in. Consider this as a possible metaphor for something.

11:30 a.m. Google “Lil B + coffee” to see how he felt about the thing in the world that makes me feel most #based. Watch the YouTube clip for Lil B’s “Coffee Shop”; still have no idea how he feels about the stuff (although its opening line, “You only got seven lives, seven days to live” seems like a fine motto for this project).

1 p.m. Order won ton soup, signature foodstuff of Lil B’s “cooking dance” (even though I’m usually a hot & sour man, natch) from China First in the U District, where it must be said the main waiter lady is always smiling, cracking jokes, basically based as fuck. (Soup is good.)

2:30 p.m. Read a message-board discussion of Lil B’s NYU lecture, debates about sincerity, lulz, etc. Feel serenely above it all.

8 a.m. Woke up even earlier than usual.

RTE

Based thinking isn’t about sugarcoating or rose-colored glasses so much as taking the bad with the good and just rolling with it.

Day 2

COU

I

’m a pretty negative guy. A crank, a cynic, a critic to the core. Depression runs in the family. The glass is half empty, and anyway we’re all going to die.

I’ve often wondered, though, if it’s possible to change all that: Is being a crank just who I am? Or, through conscious effort, is it possible to change my outlook, my mind, even my life?

I was one of the thousands who followed Bay Area rapper Lil B’s “historic” NYU lecture earlier this month, transcripts and recordings of which were online just hours afterward (as of this writing, 44,120 people have listened to the lecture on Soundcloud). In his unscripted talk, Lil B (born Brandon McCartney) covered lots of ground: cats (adopt them), hydraulic fracking (let’s stop it, bruh), ants (what’s the deal with those guys?)—but its broadly motivational tone centered on Lil B’s not entirely coherent “based” (or #based) philosophy of positivity and openness. Insights included “Nobody asked to be born; life is hard . . . kinda”; “Don’t be so hard on yourself”; “Be positive.”

RLD

BY ERIC GRANDY

37

music» »RING MY BELLE

Yacht Rock

BY RACHEL BELLE

JIM BENNET T

Going on a cruise falls into the same category as stealing Sweet’N Low, wearing a muumuu, and hoarding 90210 action figures purchased on eBay: Things I’ll Do When I’m Old. Being young, mobile, and varicosevein-free, why would I want to be trapped on a floating Mall of America when I could be getting bedbugs in a Turkish hostel or STDs backpacking around Europe? You know, having adventures!

Now, with entertainers like Kid Rock (this week), R. Kelly (in October), and KISS (on Halloween, natch) taking their acts to the high seas, cruises are the new state-fair stage, with fewer corn dogs, more buffets, and a much bigger price tag.

The Weezer Cruise packed in 2,200 fans in January, and the New Kids on the Block cruise sold out in four hours.

Young cruisers are paying $900 to $1,400 (airfare and booze not included) for three- to five-day trips to tropical destinations, where they can play beer pong and do Jell-O shots while mingling with Dinosaur Jr, Cannibal Corpse, and Lyle Lovett. And while a rock cruise still lacks the exotica and adventure of a Turkish hostel, I’m pretty sure an STD or two would be pretty easy to lock down. E Rachel Belle contributes the “Ring My Belle” segment to 97.3 KIRO FM’s Ron and Don Show. music@seattleweekly.com

»QUESTIONS/ANSWERS

Stone Free Pearl Jam’s guitarist cuts a new record with his other old band.

BY CHRIS KORNELIS Stone Gossard insists that BRAD isn’t a side project. But that’s exactly what United We Stand—the band’s fifth record in 20 years— sounds like. It’s hard to hear BRAD, featuring vocalist Shawn Smith (Pigeonhed, Satchel), as anything other than a self-indulgent trip that mashes up Smith’s soul and Gossard’s dreary crunch-rock. If BRAD were the musicians’ primary focus, material concerns would muddy

shared design. In other words, it’s not in any one person’s hands. It’s like a Ouija board: Sure, someone is cheating a bit, but it still can be spooky! So I can’t compare the two situations, because they keep changing and surprising me.

As I see it, every group has its own style and method to discover, and the trick seems to me to “wait for it” and don’t break up.

38

I wrote a little number last week.

It is just an arrangement shifting between F-sharp major and C major.

It’s cool.

LAURA MUSSELMAN

Seattle weekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

Have you written any songs today?

these waters. Instead, it’s refreshing, shootfrom-the-hip rock and roll.

In an e-mail, Gossard talks about serving two masters, Willie Nelson, and a song he wrote just the other day.

SW: When you’re in the studio with Pearl Jam, do you feel more limited to make it sound like a Pearl Jam record?

Gossard: The only pressure or restrictions I feel are self-imposed. Both BRAD and Pearl Jam are, first and foremost, expressions of a

Bucky Pizzarelli told me that he plays a few songs every morning— often before breakfast—no matter where he is. Do you have any similar habits, musical or otherwise?

Jump on my drums and play every time I have 20 minutes free during the day.

Willie Nelson recently released a cover of Pearl Jam’s “Just Breathe.”

Do you want to be on the road and making records when you’re his age, 78?

I very much want to play music with friends ’til the end. Even if it is just rehearsal. E ckornelis@seattleweekly.com BRAD With Thor Brinsfield and Special Explosion.

Showbox at the Market, 1426 First Ave., 628-3151, showboxonline.com. $15 adv./$20 DOS. All ages. 8 p.m. Fri., April 27.

and beers with Eli Anderson, who’s spent the past two months prepping for this week’s opening of Barboza, the new 200-capacity basement venue underneath Neumos. Anderson is the venue’s new talent buyer. We’re joined by Kerri Harrop, who’s been handling Barboza’s publicity, and Scout, a fry-hungry dog belonging to Neumos/Barboza co-owner Mike Meckling.

SANDRIDER With Dog Shredder, Monogamy Party, Brokaw.

Barboza, 925 E. Pike St., 709-9951. $8. 8 p.m.

Thurs., April 26.

EU M

KAYLEY KIRMSE

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PHOTO: Angus

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Please Don’t Go” on the floor of the Hard Rock Café, Melbourne, May 1975. ©Andrew Wittner

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AC/DC: Australia’s Family Jewels was developed by the Arts Centre Melbourne and the Western Australian Museum in association with AC/DC, Albert Music, and Sony Music.

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these headbangin’ Australians in short pants

Seatt le w eekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

HOW THEY GOT HERE Anderson had spent the previous four years as the Crocodile’s booking agent, and when Neumos co-owner Steven Severin first offered him the Barboza job, he turned it down. Then Jason Lajeunesse, another co-owner, told Anderson he’d also have the opportunity to book at Neumos and for the Capitol Hill Block Party. “He gave me the big pitch,” says Anderson.

SHOP TALK Useful things to know about Barboza: There is a full bar down there; there is a full, real PA; there are men’s and women’s bathrooms (Anderson: “In the ladies’, there are a couple stalls, I believe. In the men’s, I think there’s just one toilet”); there is a good-sized green room; on Friday and Saturday nights it’ll be open ’til 3 a.m. (you can’t keep drinking, but you can keep dancing); and Anderson’s goal is to have music there seven nights a week.

Another question that’s been nagging at me— was there really a need for a new live-music venue? Anderson explains it neatly: “It’s cool to have another space to be able to do small bands on their first time through, or slightly bigger bands who wanna play a space that they know they can sell out,” Anderson says. “On Capitol Hill, you can play Comet,

M

One of the highest-grossing bands of all time,

EM

Barboza kidnapped Anderson from the mouth of the Croc for his booty (and Rolodex).

g

THE SITUATION I’m at Moe Bar having fries

ethompson@seattleweekly.com

.o r

BY ERIN K. THOMPSON

Something about the swashbuckling-sounding name made me assume it was pirate-themed.

Anderson laughs. “It’s not pirate-themed. It’s not nautical-themed.” All this time I’ve been picturing it as something like Disneyland’s “Pirates of the Caribbean” ride. “I don’t know if there’s enough time to change it now,” Anderson says. E

M

The new club isn’t pirate-themed, but it does have new bathrooms.

is their overall philosophy: “You’re gonna do your first show [at Barboza], and it might do OK, it might not, and then we’re going to do the second one and maybe we can do it upstairs this time. It gives Neumos a lot more flexibility. Now we’re able to offer three sizes for bands. We can go all the way up, until they play Block Party on the mainstage in front of 15,000 people.”

BTW Lajeunesse gets the credit for naming Barboza; he got the idea from a font he saw on the cover of a book. “There’s something secretive and foreign about it,” says Anderson.

“It has the word ‘bar’ in it, which is awesome.”

Eu

Barboza Nights

which is awesome, but Comet definitely has a certain vibe. Like I can’t picture Grimes playing at the Comet and it being cool. They’re different aesthetics, and that’s why I think it’s necessary. Comet definitely has their thing down. I don’t think Barboza competes with that. Certain bands are going to want that grungy, immediate sort of situation. At Barboza you’re going to get some of that, but it’s a little bit more refined.”

Significantly, there’s also the business chain that now links Barboza, Neumos, and the Capitol Hill Block Party, offering bands an upward trajectory—which Anderson says

us

»THROUGH @ 2

39

Seattle weekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

1303 NE 45TH ST

40

music»TheShortList Coldplay

Futurist rappers CopperWire.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 25

There are still 88 years and eight months remaining in the 21st century, but thus far, Coldplay is its most influential band. This is not a statement of opinion, but one grounded in anecdotal data—no other band is mentioned after the words “This band sounds like . . . ” as frequently as Coldplay. Their shows often clock under an hour and a half, taut and energetic, with Chris Martin and drummer Will Champion singing so hard they look as though they’re going to explode. They’re the Will Ferrell of rock. With Metronomy, the Pierces. KeyArena, 305 Harrison St., 684-7200.

7 p.m. $60–$130. All ages. MIKE SEELY

CopperWire WEDNESDAY, APRIL 25

The debut future-rap album from the minds of MCs Ellias Fullmore and Gabriel Teodros (Oakland and Seattle) and talented vocalist Meklit Hadero (San Francisco) is a conceptual, somewhat allegorical project that touches on love, race, and the Ethiopian diaspora in a lighthearted Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy kind of way. The instrumentals are eclectic and rich, lending themselves well to the artists’ collective songwriting. With

Detective Agency WEDNESDAY, APRIL 25

The mostly femme garage-pop outfit of Ulrika Larsson, Gwen Stubbs, Amy Tisdale, and Nate Kruz recently self-released Daggers, an EP of five songs that jump back and forth from sweet and harmonic to shadowy and ominous. On songs like “Empty Apartment” and “Summer Song,” the initial cheeriness of the jangling guitars and Tisdale’s chanting vocal lines are undercut by a darkly thrumming bass and Kruz’s slow and low backing vocals. It’s a catchy juxtaposition that makes Detective Agency one of the most interesting and appealing bands playing in Seattle right now. With Pony Time, Redbook. Sunset Tavern, 5433 Ballard Ave. N.W., 784-4880. 9:30 p.m. $6.

ERIN K. THOMPSON

M83

established himself as an adroit maker of dreamy, ’80s-style synth-rock with explicitly big-screen ambitions and saxophone solos to match. It’s a deep and timely well of nostalgia, and M83 tap it with undeniable flair. With I

THURSDAY, APRIL 26

You’d think from this week’s shows at the Paramount that all French electronic acts secretly long to make soft rock. There’s Justice, whose latest album trades their hardrock techno for limp ’70s prog and pop, and then there’s M83, who have made the shift far more successfully and organically. With 2008’s Saturdays = Youth and last year’s outstanding Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming, onetime bedroom electronics producer Anthony Gonzalez has

Break Horses. The Paramount, 911 Pine St., 467-5510. 8 p.m. $28 adv./$32 DOS. All ages.

ERIC GRANDY

Willie Nelson Tribute Night SATURDAY, APRIL 28

EDITOR’S PICK

FRANKIE ROSE WEDNESDAY, APRIL 25

Stephanie. Neumos, 925 E. Pike St., 709-9442. 8 p.m. $10. ERIN K. THOMPSON

With God Forbid, SuidAkrA, Diamond Plate, Three Chord Killer, Elks Blood. El Corazon, 109 Eastlake Ave. E., 381-3094. 7:30 p.m. $23 adv./$25 DOS/$65 VIP. All ages. LAURA SWARTZ

Hey, did you hear? Willie’s playing the Puyallup Fair on September 7. I know, I know, the man fits between prize pies and blue-ribbon steers as tastefully as Jif goes down between Lambchop TUESDAY, MAY 1 pancakes and syrup. Before the Countryman comes to P-town to provide the soundtrack Nashville in 1986 was a far cry from the to your end-of-summer gluttony, his local Southern-fried version of Portland it curdisciples are paying tribute tonight at Conor rently is, and no band represents that city’s Byrne. Country Dave & the eclectic evolution quite Pickin’ Crew, The Crying as well as Lambchop.

Shame, Risky Liver, and Touted as “Nashville’s Tune in to 97.3 KIRO FM Fascination Nation will be most fucked-up country every Sunday at 3 p.m. to hear music editor Chris Kornelis on hand to try to out-Willie band,” Lambchop started on Seattle Sounds. one another. Speaking of from much more tratributes: Willie himself just ditional roots, but have released a spot-on cover of Pearl Jam’s “Just spent nearly three decades in a state of gradBreathe.” A non-ironic blue ribbon tonight goes ual, graceful genre-hopping. This year’s Mr. to the band that can “Just Breathe” better than M finds the band honing in on breathtakingly the rest. Conor Byrne, 5140 Ballard Ave. N.W., pristine, carefully orchestrated pop, with frontman Kurt Wagner channeling equally 784-3640. 9 p.m. $10. CHRIS KORNELIS Burt Bacharach’s slowly gushing sentimental moments and Lou Reed’s dry, detached narOverkill MONDAY, APRIL 30 ratives. With Alina Hardin. Tractor Tavern, 5213 The Big Four of thrash metal—Metallica, Ballard Ave. N.W., 789-3599. 8 p.m. $15 adv./$18 Megadeth, Slayer, and Anthrax—should really DOS. GREGORY FRANKLIN

e

SHERVIN LAINEZ

This dark and lovely Brooklyn musician earned her indie-rock pedigree drumming for the Vivian Girls, the Dum Dum Girls, and Crystal Stilts; she’s since more than proved her ability to blaze her own trails.

Rose ventured into synth-pop on her sparkly second full-length, February’s Interstellar; the songs feature Rose’s gossamer-thin vocals floating atop spacey guitars and rushes of synth, making for a wholly transcendent sound and one of the year’s best records.

In a match made in heaven, the spacious and shoegazing Beach Fossils spinoff Dive is opening her current tour. With

be the Big Five. New Jersey’s Overkill will rip up the stage tonight in support of their new album The Electric Age. Be prepared for an ear assault from the blistering guitars, the thunderous bass and drums, and the signature wailing vocals of Bobby Blitz— who still sings like he did during the band’s late-’80s heyday—that have made Overkill one of history’s most iconic metal bands.

Seatt le w eekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

*

PETER VARSHAVSKY

Black Stax. Columbia City Theater, 4916 Rainier Ave. S., 722-3009. 8 p.m. $10. TODD HAMM

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The Tierney Sutton Band May 1 – 2

Keiko Matsui

Pianist Fusing Jazz and New Age Undertones May 3 - 6

Un.cSIomC Tw.RlittYlerM LIVE COUN he ed ww THURSDAY APRIL 26

JUKEHOUSE HOUNDS 9PM - $3 COVER

Seattle weekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

Kenny Garrett Quartet

42

Preeminent Jazz Alto Saxophonist Returns to Acoustic Format May 8 - 9

ON SALE NOW Jack DeJohnette Trio featuring

Chick Corea & Stanley Clarke

Celebrating Jack’s 70th Birthday!

May 10 – 13

FOURPLAY June 7 – 10

Walk-ins Always Welcome!

All Ages • Free Parking • Gift Certificates Military, Senior and Student Discounts

FRIDAY & SATURDAY APRIL 27 & 28

WES JONES BAND 9PM - $5 COVER SUNDAY APRIL 29

DAVANOS

9PM - $3 COVER 4PM OPEN MIC/ACOUSTIC JAM W/ BILLY BODACIOUS TUESDAY MAY 1ST

BILLY JOE HUELS HONKY TONK PARTY BAND 9PM

EVERY MONDAY AND WEDNESDAY

KARAOKE WITH DJ FORREST GUMP 9:00PM • NO COVER

FREE COUNTRY DANCE LESSONS WITH OUR HOST MARYANN AT 8PM; SUN, MON, TUES

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Wednesday, April 25 CROOKED SMILE This local group fuses funk, jazz,

soul, and lots of saxophone. With Richie Aldente, For the Birds. High Dive, 513 N. 36th St., 632-0212, high diveseattle.com. 8 p.m. $6.

DJ SHADOW Producer and instrumental hip-hop pioneer DJ Shadow (real name Josh Davis) also holds a Guinness world record for the first album to be constructed entirely from samples, his landmark 1996 debut, Endtroducing.....

With Nerve. Showbox at the Market, 1426 First Ave., 628-3151, showboxonline. com. 8 p.m. $25 adv./$30 T H I S CO D E DOS. All ages.

TO DOWNLOAD THE FREE FARKO COLLECTIVE A SEATTLE WEEKLY jazz-fusion group led by IPHONE/ANDROID APP Uzbekistani bass prodigy FOR MORE CONCERTS OR VISIT seattleweekly.com Farko Dosumov headlines this free funk showcase.

With George Tisdale Band, Spekulation. Nectar, 412 N. 36th St., 632-2020, nectar lounge.com. 8 p.m. Free.

JUSTICE The flouncy ’70s prog-pop of Justice’s 2011 album Audio, Video, Disco has about as much

SCAN

Send events to music@seattleweekly.com See seattleweekly.com for full listings NC = no charge, AA = all ages.

Justice hits the Paramount on April 25.

substance as their old onstage stacks of fake amps, with none of the engagingly heavy, headbanging techno rock of their early hits. The Paramount, 911 Pine St., 467-5510, stgpresents.org. 8 p.m. $26.25 adv./$31.25 DOS. All ages.

Thursday, April 26 KENNY G Arguably as maligned (the hair, the cheese-

ball smooth jazz) as he is successful (more than 75 million records sold worldwide), the adultcontemporary icon will play four nights (through April 29) of relatively rare club shows. Jazz Alley, 2033 Sixth Ave., 441-9729, jazzalley.com. 7:30 & 9:30 p.m. $55.

SUBENDUB This high-school DJ duo’s mixes bear a heavy influence of EDM titans like Deadmau5 and Bassnectar. With Ronnie Dylan. Studio Seven, 110 S. Horton St., 286-1312, studioseven.us. 8 p.m. $8 adv./$10 DOS. All ages.

TENNIS This husband/wife duo offers more trademark sunny pop tunes on February’s Young & Old. With Wild Belle, Pacific Pride. The Crocodile, 2200 Second Ave., 441-7416, thecrocodile.com. 8 p.m. $11 adv./ $13 DOS. WAKA FLOCKA FLAME This Southern hip-hop artist is touring behind his forthcoming sophomore album, Triple F Life: Friends, Fans, and Family.

Showbox SoDo, 1700 First Ave. S., 652-0444, showboxonline.com. 8 p.m. $29.50 adv./$35 DOS. All ages.

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UP AND COMING: DJ SHADOW | APR 25 | MARKET • RUSKO | APR 27 | SODO • ANDRE NICKATINA | APR 28 | MARKET • OPETH & MASTODON | APR 30 | SODO • TECH N9NE | MAY 4 & 5 | SODO • WINDOW-

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dinner & show

WED/APR 25 & THU/APR 26 • 7:30PM

matthew sweet girlfriend tour w/ the summer twins FRI/APRIL 27 • 8PM CD RELEASE SHOW!

portland cello project SAT/APRIL 28 • 6:30PM & 9:30PM SQUARE PEG PRESENTS

the touré-raichel collective featuring

vieux farka touré, idan raichel, souleymane kane and amit carmeli

SUN/APRIL 29 • 7:30PM 2012 ROADWORKS TOUR: ROCCUPY!

Seattle weekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

michelle shocked

44

next • 5/2 kasey anderson & the honkies • 5/5 gypsy soul • 5/6 the 2012 bb awards • 5/9 jon auer of the posies w/ simon lynge • 5/10 trace bundy w/ shook twins • 5/11 the paperboys w/ kareem kandi • 5/12 the righteous mothers • 5/13 mycle wastman w/ tess henley • 5/14 uk “night after night 2012” • 5/16 matt wertz w/ lydia ramsey • 5/17 seattle secret music showcase

• 4/25 ari joshua trio • 4/26 lisa pollock w/ ryan jones (la) / tony ozier’s beatsgalore • 4/27 bart budwig / joe doria • 4/28 district of fashion benefit / barrett martin group • 4/29 deseo carmin • 4/30 katy bourne • 5/1 tonic tuesday at the musicquarium TO ENSURE THE BEST EXPERIENCE

PLEASE ARRIVE EARLY DOORS OPEN 1.5 HOURS PRIOR TO FIRST SHOW ALL-AGES (BEFORE 9:30PM)

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Friday, April 27 DEMON HUNTER In support of their newly released

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WED, 4/25 8PM ~ $6 ENERGETIC INDIE ROCK FROM BOISE, ID

JONATHAN WILSON

THUR, 4/26 8PM ~ $12ADV/$15DOS THE TRACTOR & 91.3 KBCS PRESENT HARMONIZING, MINIMALIST DUO

MON, 4/30 7PM ~ $15 ALTERNATIVE FOLK-ROCK SINGER/SONGWRITER

SEAT SHOWED

THE MILK CARTON KIDS

Ben Kweller’s at Neumos on April 28.

his latest, the pleasantly listenable Go Fly a Kite, is no different. With Sleeper Agent. Neumos. 7 p.m. $16.

All ages balcony.

ANDRE NICKATINA Since emerging during the heyday of West Coast hip-hop, this Bay Area MC has shown unusual longevity, releasing 18 albums in a nearly 20-year career. With MUMBLS, Fashawn, Concrete. Showbox at the Market. 8 p.m. $30 adv./$33 DOS. All ages.

NIGHT MOVES This monthly DJ night will flash EDMcrazy kids back to their parents’ dance music of choice, disco and boogie, alongside some more modern house and funk offerings. With Justice & Treasure, Introcut, DJ FITS, Dicso. Barboza, 925 E. Pike St., 709-9951.

10:30 p.m. Free before 11 p.m./$5 at 11 p.m./$8 at 1 a.m.

SLOW DANCE This producer/MC duo’s four-on-the-floor party rap is electric in a live setting. With Radiation City, Sons of Huns. Nectar. 8 p.m. $10.

SUN, 4/29 8PM ~ $12 SINGER/SONGWRITER

FINN RIGGINS

KOKO AND THE SWEETMEATS GARAGE VOICE

KEVIN BALDES

True Defiance, Seattle natives Demon Hunter hit the stage tonight with a vengeance. Don’t be surprised if your neck hurts in the morning, because with tunes as heavy as theirs, you won’t be able to stop banging your head, vigorously. With Into the Flood, They Charge Like Warriors. El Corazon, 109 Eastlake Ave. E., 3813094, elcorazonseattle.com. 8 p.m. $16 adv./$18 DOS. All ages.

HOTELS The Seattle surf-rockers celebrate the release of their Cinemascope I EP with New Wave electro-dance outfit Noddy and echoey shoegaze group SPORTS. Columbia City Theater, 4916 Rainier Ave. S., 722-3009, columbiacitytheater.com. 9 p.m. $6 adv./$8 DOS. KOWALSKI These five rockers, hailing from Bellingham, are ready to show Seattle they can rock just as hard as our metal scene. If you’re looking for a killer night of good ol’ rock ’n’ roll and metal, this is your haven. With Black Beast Revival, One Gun Shy. Studio Seven. 7 p.m. $8 adv./$10 DOS. All ages.

STORM LARGE Best known as a contestant on CBS’s short-lived Rock Star, Portland native Large published her memoirs earlier this year detailing her rise to fame.

The Neptune, 1303 N.E. 45th St., 784-4849, stgpresents. org. 8 p.m. $20 adv./$22 DOS. All ages.

NEON INDIAN Chillwave survivor Alan Palomo’s most recent offering is the straight-up electro-pop of Era Extraña. With Lemonade, Silent Diane. Neumos, 925 E. Pike St., 709-9442, neumos.com. 8 p.m. $16 adv.

PORTLAND CELLO PROJECT This show will commemorate the release of Homage, the coverhappy collective’s latest. With Alialujah Choir. Triple Door, 216 Union St., 838-4333, thetripledoor.net. 8 p.m. $17 adv./$20 DOS. All ages.

RUSKO This British producer was one of the first DJs to put a rave-friendly spin on dubstep, helping shape the genre into the incredibly popular cultural phenomenon it is today. With Sigma, Hyperfunk. Showbox SoDo. 7 p.m. $38.50 adv./$43 DOS. 16 and over.

A TRIBUTE TO CCR Had they decided to slog it out this long, Creedence Clearwater Revival would have been 45 years old this year, older than most of the local performers at tonight’s tribute show. With Star Anna, Kasey Anderson, Half Acre Day, Gary Reynolds, Kim Virant, Robert Roth, Aaron from Spanish for 100, the Glass Notes. Sunset Tavern, 5433 Ballard Ave. N.W., 784-4880. 10 p.m. $8.

YELLOW DUBMARINE Those of you who have been incessantly clamoring for a dub reggae Beatles tribute band can go back to peaceful bong rips again. There really is a Yellow Dubmarine, and they’re really performing all of Abbey Road in all its dubby glory. You can’t make this stuff up. Tractor Tavern, 5213 Ballard Ave. N.W., 789-3599, tractortavern.com. 9:30 p.m. $15.

KAYLEE COLE

STUART DAVIS

THE BRENDAN HINES

ART + COMEDY CD RELEASE SHOW

FRI, 4/27 9:30PM ~ $15 HORN POWERED, PERCUSSION FUELED SONIC ASSAULT

TUES, 5/1 $15ADV/$18DOS HYBRID OF COUNTRY, SOUL, JAZZ & AVANT-GARDE NOISE

FIVE ALARM FUNK

LAMBCHOP

YELLOW DUBMARINE

PERFORMING ALL OF ABBEY ROAD IN A DUB REGGAE STYLE

ALINA HARDIN

SAT, 4/28 9:30PM ~ $10ADV/$12DOS HIGH-ENERGY HITS FROM THE ‘80S

THUR, 5/3 8PM ~ $10 FOLKLIFE FESTIVAL PREVIEW PARTY

REWIND

NO OPENER

SE AT ED SH OW

BIG SUR

DENVER ANNIE FORD BAND

PLUS SQUARE DANCE LESSONS. FOR MORE INFO VISIT NWFOLKLIFEFESTIVAL.ORG

TIMES LISTED ARE SHOW TIMES. DOORS OPEN 30-60 MINUTES BEFORE

P U &COMING:

5/4 CLUMSY LOVERS, SPOONSHINE album release party 5/5-early A B & THE SEA, TOMMY & THE HIGH PILOTS, BELLAMAINE 5/5 Side Saddle presents: Cheatin’, Lyin’, Leavin’ and Cryin’ feat. MARK PICKEREL, KAYLEE COLE & KEVIN LARGE, BRYAN JOHN APPLEBY, LUCKY LAWRENCE, ROY KAY, KIM FIELD & LISA THEOBOLD 5/6 SOPHIE BARKER of Zero 7, TINY MESSENGERS 5/8 AGES AND AGES, JOHN HEART JACKIE, KEATON COLLECTIVE 5/9 BRITE LINES, POCKET PANDA, POMERANTZ 5/10 JACK WILSON, DAVIDSON HART KINGSBERY, JACKRABBIT 5/11 & 5/12 THE MALDIVES, THE MOONDOGGIES 5/13 GREAT LAKE SWIMMERS, COLD SPECKS 5/14 MONDAY SQUARE DANCE with THE TALLBOYS 5/15 RODINA feat. Joe Tatton of New Mastersounds w/ members of Kinetix & Giant Panda Guerilla Dub Squad, UNSINKABLE HEAVIES 5/16 BUFFALO DEATH BEAM, YARN, RED HEART ALARM 5/17 LUC AND THE LOVINGTONS, PROJECT LIONHEART

Sunday, April 29 JAMES MORRISON Though he isn’t a household name

stateside, this soul-influenced songwriter’s most recent album, The Awakening, hit #1 on the UK Albums Chart.

With HoneyHoney. The Neptune. 8 p.m. $22.50 adv./ $25 DOS. All ages.

MICHELLE SHOCKED The latest from this prolific singer/songwriter is 2009’s pop-friendly Soul of My Soul. Triple Door. 7:30 p.m. $20 adv./ $25 DOS. All ages.

SIOUX CITY PETE & THE BEGGARS This Iowa band puts a

unique, metal-influenced spin on blues rock. With School Shootings, Whyte Leathur. Comet Tavern, 922 E. Pike St., 322-9272, comettavern.com. 9 p.m. $6.

POCKET IMAGES BY MEGAN

Terabyte & the Battery Eaters play the Comet on April 30.

THE CONTORTIONIST This

Indianapolis five-piece delivers highly technical progressive metal. With Envisionist, Repave the Skies, Thief River Falls, Czar, Triosis, Defenestrator.

Studio Seven. 6:30 p.m. $10 adv./ $12 DOS. All ages.

TERABYTE & THE BATTERY EATERS Singer/

songwriter Terra Marotz and producer Stephen Fairweather team up to make sensuous electro-pop. With Combine the Victorious, Gold Wolf Galaxy. Comet Tavern. 9 p.m. $6.

Saturday, April 28

Tuesday, May 1

KUNG FOO GRIP The Kirkland hip-hop group reps the

DENIZEN SEVEN This local band apes classic-rock

425 on Indigo Children: Tales From the Other Side, its recent collaboration with Redmond beatmaker Giorgio Momurda. With Keyboard Kid, Key Nyata, Tee Gee. Vera Project, 305 Harrison St., 956-8372, theveraproject. org. 7:30 p.m. $9. All ages.

BEN KWELLER This veteran songwriter’s music ranges from power-pop to straightforward rock to alt-country;

bona fides from genres as diverse as grunge and Southern rock. With Cotton Mayer. High Dive. 8 p.m. $6.

DEVIN THE DUDE The Houston-based stoner-rapper has never found widespread success, but his uncanny delivery and storytelling lyrics have earned him a cult following. With Coughee Brothaz North, Hi Life Sound System. The Crocodile. 8 p.m. $17.

Seatt le w eekly • APRI L 25 - May 1, 2012

Monday, April 30

45

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column»Toke Signals

Older and Wiser

G

ourmet Green, a medical-

marijuana access point on Aurora Avenue, had only been open two weeks when I visited on a recent Sunday, but they already had better customer service, by more knowledgeable budtenders, than some other collectives in town old enough to know better.

Both Bob (who greeted me up front in the reception area, processed my paperwork, and helped me in the budroom) and Leslie (a lovely, personable lady and a great conversationalist with lots of medicinal-cannabis knowledge) are a little older than the average for dispensary employees. Their age, however, is a definite asset, since their extra years have obviously enabled them to learn more about communicating with people and the art and science of marijuana than the 20-somethings often encountered in Seattle collectives have learned.

For the second week in a row, I was pleasantly surprised to find a shop where all strains go for an across-the-board

Uniform $10 pricing will become more and more prevalent in an increasingly competitive marketplace. $10-a-gram donation. About 15 strains were available, including two different kinds of my favorite, Afgoo (Seattle Weekly’s Strain of the Year last year). Both Afgoo, a sativa/ indica hybrid, and “Sweet Afgoo” were in stock; I got some of the regular, and it was highly satisfactory.

My other selections were Train Wreck,

x

a sativa dominant, and Blueberry, an indica dominant; the uniform $10 donation scheme allowed me to base my selections purely on personal taste and the appearance and bouquet of the weed in question. Being able to select strains without price entering the equation felt like a real luxury, and patients who get that kind of positive experience are going to be loyal return customers. This is why I have the Pollyanna-ish idea that uniform $10 pricing will become more and more prevalent in an increasingly competitive marketplace.

The hybrid Afgoo combines the best of both sativa and indica worlds with its Afghani/ Thai/Hawaiian ancestry. The indica genetics ensure its effectiveness against pain and anxiety, and the sativa portion is great for PTSD, depression, and appetite stimulation. If you can afford only one strain on your visit to Gourmet Green, you could do worse than Afgoo.

Fans of the sativa effect—that exciting onrush of mental stimulation, ideas, and insights that accompany these energetic strains when smoked—will find plenty to love about Train Wreck. You’ll be feeling irie by the second toke, and just a few more will put you in a place of cerebral spaciness where spending the evening listening to Jethro Tull seems like an excellent idea—at least until the next excellent idea comes along. Get out that CD or Blu-Ray you’ve been waiting for the right moment to hear or watch.

Blueberry is a solid, delicious indica with delightfully fruity trichomes and satisfying solid pain relief; save it for nighttime, when you can relax on the couch and watch TV undistracted by body aches, or for some quality time with a special friend. E

Medical Cannabis Authorization Pain Management Referrals Alternative Therapy Nutritional Planning

24 Hour Online Verification RCW Compliant I.D. Cards Discounts For Low Income & Vets

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tokesignals@seattleweekly.com

Steve Elliott edits Toke of the Town, Village Voice Media’s site of cannabis news, views, rumor, and humor.

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Dear Dategirl, I met a guy online, and we’ve gone on four dates. Our first time out was so great that I somehow missed the fact that he’s about 50 pounds overweight. (I realized it as he was walking toward me on the second date. Men can be pear-shaped?!) I want to say “Fine, whatever,” because I’ve struggled with my weight and body image my whole life.

But two years ago I stopped dieting, started hitting the gym regularly, and lost 20 pounds. I’m no skinny girl—I could stand to lose another 20—but I do pay attention to the kinds of foods I eat and the amount of exercise I get.

My mom survived a stroke, and I want to avoid having one myself. His dad died from a stroke, but he told a waitress to hold the salad that came with his deep-fried entrée. In fact, I’ve yet to see him ingest anything resembling produce.

I’m not in the business of changing anybody, and it’s too early to tell if we have a strongenough foundation for a relationship, but he’s a good guy, and good guys are hard to find. But

You need to decide whether or not you like him as he is right now, because he’s a man, not a project.

fetish

w w w.LadyAu ro ra.net

Fatty, Fatty, Two by Four . . .

it’s important to me that the guy I’m with is willing to try to live past 50 (he’s in his 40s). So it’s a catch-22: You don’t bring up a sensitive issue like weight/health unless you’re deeply involved with someone, but if you think you might be on the road to Deeply Involved, you want to make sure you both know where you stand so you can call it quits or make a go of it. How and when do I go about bringing up this issue?

—Fathead

Woman, how drunk were you that you missed 50 pounds when you met him?

Not 10, not 20, but 50? That’s about what a second-grader weighs. That’s five 10-pound bags of sugar. Two of the 25-pound boxes of cat litter I have delivered because it’s too heavy to carry. Fifty pounds is a lot to overlook, Sweet Cheeks. He’s either one charming motherfucker or you really need to adjust your beer googles.

You’re right—it’s way too soon to have a deep discussion about the junk in his trunk.

Think how mortified you would’ve been 20 pounds ago if some guy had told you that while you were a great girl, your saddlebags got in the way of his feelings. I know firsthand how shitty it feels, because I dated a jerk who kept telling me I needed to be more like Kate Moss and I could only do that by making less of me. Like most mortals who dine on solids, even at my scrawniest, I was bigger than Ms. Moss. His bitchery didn’t make me eat less, either; in fact, I think my french-fry consumption actually peaked during that relationship.

So no, you’re right—you can’t really talk to him about it, but that doesn’t mean you can’t bring it up. What I would do is plan the next date carefully. Do something healthy.

Not spin-class-level healthy, but maybe a hike. Or ask him if he wants to try kayaking or rock-climbing or something else a little taxing.

It could be that he’s a physically fit chunky monkey. Would you be interested in him then? (Though a refusal to eat vegetables doesn’t bode well.) You need to decide whether or not you like him as he is right now, because he’s a man, not a project.

If you can’t get past his fat, throw him back— plenty of ladies love a bulky boy. E dategirl@seattleweekly.com WANT MORE? Listen to Judy on The Mike & Judy Show on the Heritage Radio Network, follow her tweets @DailyDategirl, or visit dategirl.net.

Rules for acceptance of adult entertainment ads in Seattle Weekly: * Seattle Weekly does not accept ads promoting or soliciting illegal conduct. * It is the responsibility of the advertiser to conform its business activity to applicable law. * Seattle Weekly will accept no adult entertainment ads from anyone other than the person being represented in the advertisement. * Seattle Weekly requires a valid photo ID from the person placing the ad confirming they are 18 years of age or older as well as a signed photo/model release form. * All first time advertisers must physically come to the SW offices to place their ad so visual comparison to ID can be confirmed.

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VEN T S

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Hama Hama Oyster Rama Saturday May 5th 11am-6pm

The Hama Hama Oyster Company welcomes visitors onto their tideland farm to celebrate oyster culture.

Oyster Rama highlights include tideflat tours, u-pick, oyster sports competitions, oyster and wine tastings, live music, beer garden, and kid's activities. Tickets $10/ person, food and drink extra. Free admission under 15.

Proceeds benefit the Hood Canal Education Foundation.

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