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inside» May 30-June 5, 2012 VOLUME 37 | NUMBER 22 » SEATTLEWEEKLY.COM

»10

»29

up front 6

NEWS

THE DAILY WEEKLY | How much wood

would a woodcutter cut if a woodcutter could cut competitively? Also, rebranding PTSD and a conference of Angels.

10 FEATURE

BY JESSICA LUSSENHOP | A spate of

teen suicides and the recent revelation of a prep-school incident involving GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney has put the issue of antigay bullying front and center, in what some say is a watershed moment for the LGBT-rights movement.

17 THE WEEKLY WIRE

Reggie Watts returns to town, the Seattle Dance Festival begins, and we bike through the earthworks of Kent.

18 ARTS

29 FOOD

29 | BALLARD BARBECUE | Somehow,

authenticity isn’t such a foodie fetish when it comes to Southern cooking.

32 | FIRST CALL | Cutter’s basil gimlet.

32 | A LITTLE RASKIN | Toning things down at a pepper-eating contest.

33 MUSIC

33 | BRANDI CARLILE | She can’t help being loud and proud.

34 | POP QUIZ | Can you tell who’s where at Sasquatch! and Folklife?

36 | THE SHORT LIST | Destroyer, Learning Team, and a SIFF doc.

41 | THROUGH @ 2 | How to organize a music festival in one month.

Design that speaks...

From our Collection of Wedding and Anniversary Bands Open seven days a week.

other stuff 20 27 31 38 43 44

| | | | | |

Seattle weekly • M AY 30–Ju n e 5, 2012

in back

»33

PERFORMANCE FILM CALENDAR FEATURED EATS SEVEN NIGHTS TOKE SIGNALS DATEGIRL

18 | VISUAL ARTS | Gary Hill’s funhouse

at the Henry.

21 | THE FUSSY EYE | Twigs in search

of a nest.

22 FILM

22 | SIFF PICKS & PANS | The latest

from Guy Maddin and Wes Anderson.

24 | THIS WEEK’S ATTRACTIONS

Samuel L. Jackson wants payback, plus new docs on dance and WWII.

»cover credits

ILLUSTRATION BY ELLEN WEINSTEIN

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news»The Daily Weekly »dispatches from our news blog

Chain Man

W

David Moses cuts wood competitively, hoping to cover gas money.

Eric DEvEricks

hen David Moses picks up the phone, he sounds gruff.

“I hear you’re trying to get a hold of me,” he says from Virginia, where the mohawked Snoqualmie native is readying himself for the STIHL Timbersports Series Championships this weekend.

Lumberjack sports are in Moses’ blood. His dad, David Sr., has been involved with competitive sawing and hacking since 1972. David Jr. tells me his father still competes at age 68.

Twenty years ago David Jr. approached his old man and expressed an interest in continuing the tradition. While his father was initially skeptical, David Jr. soon proved he was serious. “He’s the only one I trusted to teach me,” says Moses.

Apparently the lessons stuck. With two decades of competitive lumberjacking under his belt, Moses took first place in the regional Western Qualifier earlier this spring, earning a trip to Pigeon Forge, Tenn., and the Great Smoky Mountain Lumberjack Feud. Here, on June 1–3, 20 of the country’s top lumberjack athletes will do battle, the old Weyerhaeuser mill on Snoqualmie with the winner earning an invitation to the Ridge, Moses says he’s ready to achieve STIHL Timbersports World Championships competitive-lumberjacking greatness. While in Lillehammer, Norway, this September. he was close to making it to the U.S. finals in This weekend competitors will compete 2011, Moses believes the countless hours of in six historic lumberjack disciplines, includtraining he’s put in this year will put him over ing flannel-ready events like the hot saw, the the top. “Really good,” Moses says, when asked springboard chop, the standing block chop, to assess his chances. “As long as I keep doing the stock saw, and the underhand chop. what I’ve been doing, I’ll be fine.” He notes it Moses says the springboard chop is his took him 12 years just to get “pretty good” at favorite. “It’s the most challenging,” says competitive lumberMoses, who, presumably jacking. Now in his like most lumberjacks, is a 20th year, he says he’s man of few words. “I have Print is great, but if you “right up there with the most fun with it.” want to relive . . . the Twitter reaction to a tiger being the big boys.”

While many have seen reported on the loose in Puyallup, you’ll Moses believes the a lumberjack competition have to check out The Daily Weekly. cross-training he did while channel-surfing, or SEATTLEWEEKLY.COM/DAILYWEEKLY in preparation for perhaps even witnessed this season may make one in person in a town like the difference. You have to be “in fairly good Morton (home to the annual Morton Loggers shape,” he says (with a hint of humor), to Jubilee), few appreciate what the life of a handle the physical requirements of competicompetitive lumberjack is really like. Moses tive lumberjacking. says he competes in 12 to 16 events, mostly “It’s hours of preparation for a few seconds regional, each year, and, if all goes as planned, of glory,” Moses says. “If you get the glory.” takes home enough in prize money to help balance the lean times in the tile business he MATT DRISCOLL runs with his wife. Moses says that in the past he competed in 20 to 24 events a year, a number whittled down when the economy tanked and a handful of competitions ceased.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder has been Moses says big-time competitions usually called many things over the years, from shell offer a winner’s payout of around $600. A shock to “irritable heart.” Now a Seattle-based smaller competition, like the Sequim Irrigaretired general and former Army vice-chief tion Festival, might offer closer to $50. “It of staff is trying to change the name again to covers gas money,” Moses says. encourage more soldiers to seek treatment.

In other words, these are not rich, pampered As he asserted at a Philadelphia meeting of athletes. But, judging by Moses, they are serithe American Psychiatric Association earlier ous about their sport. With a training spot near » Continued on page 9

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news» The Daily Weekly » from page 6

The state Department of Financial Institutions recently issued a warning about crowdfunding—a way of raising money on the Internet that’s already proved a boon for artists through popular Kickstarter, and which was green-lighted for the business world through the just-passed JOBS Act. Turns out state officials aren’t the only skeptics.

The Seattle Angel Conference, an organization that brings together entrepreneurs and wealthy “angel” investors,” held a workshop May 21 to discuss the new phenomenon.

In interviews with Seattle Weekly, both the workshop’s facilitators suggest that crowdfunding may not live up to expectations.

As facilitator and lawyer William Carleton explains, crowdfunding—in theory—is supposed to democratize the investment process.

Until now, companies could raise money two ways. They could hold a public offering, a complicated and highly regulated process that costs millions of dollars in lawyers’ fees alone, or they could bypass the regulations by raising money from millionaire or “angel” investors.

The idea of this bizarre regulatory exemption—literally requiring these informal investors to have a net worth of at least a million dollars—is that “rich people are sophisticated investors who can fend for themselves,” Carleton says. But he recognizes that “in terms of Occupy Wall Street,” many would say that “the whole thing has been rigged for the 1 percent.”

With crowdfunding, the 99 percent will now be able to get in on the action outside of a formal public offering. Or at least they will when the feds establish new regulations for this type of fundraising, a process likely to take the better part of a year. As DFI stressed last week, entrepreneurial crowdfunding will not be legal until that happens.

Even though it’s becoming legal, DFI made crowdfunding sound pretty scary, citing possible scams, the high risk of investing in small businesses, and the inexperience of the entrepreneurs who run them.

Carleton, however, says “overblown” fears have led the feds to “suffocate” crowdfunding with complicated rules. The deals must be done through regulated Web portals, for instance, although no such portals are required for investments by rich folks.

John Myer, another lawyer and fellow facilitator of the Angel Conference workshop, similarly observes that the JOBS Act requires crowdfunding companies to hire an accountant. Yet, he says, “the whole point was that there were to be no lawyers and no accountants.”

Entrepreneurs, moreover, aren’t allowed to advertise their online offerings to the crowd.

At the same time, the JOBS Act lifted a regulation that had previously stopped companies from advertising to millionaires. Both Myer and Carleton say the latter provision may be the bigger deal, enabling entrepreneurs to reach a wider circle of rich people, who will consequently have better access than ever to barely regulated investment opportunities.

NINA SHAPIRO E

news@seattleweekly.com

Seattle weekly • M AY 30–Ju n e 5, 2012

this month, Gen. Peter Chiarelli wants to replace the word “disorder” with “injury”—ultimately changing PTSD to PTSI. His position, supported by other military officials, has generated considerable debate, with coverage in The Washington Post and Time’s Battleland blog.

A Seattle native, Chiarelli moved home after his retirement in January. He now heads a nonprofit working on brain research called One Mind for Research, which last week held its first annual meeting in Los Angeles.

Speaking from L.A., he gives what he says is a common reaction of a young soldier told he should see a therapist. “The kid says, ‘I don’t want to be diagnosed with a disorder.

What I’m suffering from is a direct result of a traumatic experience in combat.’ ” “Disorder” implies that something is something is wrong with the person, Chiarelli suggests, whereas “injury” would put PTSD on par with other war wounds. “We call it Traumatic Brain Injury, don’t we?” he asks, rhetorically.

Chiarelli says it’s not only war situations in which the current name may do damage. Take, for instance, sexual-assault victims, who are frequently diagnosed with PTSD. “Is it right to tell a woman who’s been raped that because she has a reaction to that, that she has a ‘disorder’?” he wonders aloud.

But PTSD is a particularly significant diagnosis in the military. A lot of benefits ride on it, as is evident from the recent scandal at Madigan Army Medical Center at Joint Base Lewis-McChord, in which the hospital’s forensic psychologists urged sparing use of the diagnosis because of the costs involved.

A name change wouldn’t impact benefits, Chiarelli claims. But others aren’t so sure.

“When you have an injury, you follow a treatment regimen and expect to get better,” Charles Figley, director of Tulane University’s Traumatology Institute, told The Washington Post.

Chiarelli holds that a big part of the problem is that we simply don’t know enough about the brain to understand PTSD very well, and there’s no reliable test that allows doctors to diagnose it. “It’s not like you taking your temperature, or seeing a leaky valve,” he says.

Similarly, Chiarelli says that too little is known about TBI. He says his frustration with that lack of knowledge after 10 years of war ultimately led him to One Mind for Research, which aims to become the American Heart Association of brain research, bringing together balkanized fields of study.

Housed in the University District, the organization’s first order of business is stimulating more research on TBI and what Chiarelli hopes will be called PTSI. NINA SHAPIRO

Crowded Out

9

B Schools ignore antigay bullying at their

10

Gay kids have long been a target of bullying. Until recently, incidents could be laughed off as “pranks” and no one suffered any consequences but the gay kid. But in the past few years, that has begun to change. Some say it started the night Tyler Clementi leapt from the George Washington Bridge.

He’d just discovered that his roommate at Rutgers University had used a webcam to spy on a kiss he’d shared with another man. Police found Clementi’s body seven days later.

Clementi wasn’t the only gay kid to commit suicide that September—in all, 10 did. Asher Brown, a 13-year-old boy from Cypress, Texas, shot himself in the head with his stepfather’s Beretta. Seth Walsh, 13, hung himself in his rural California backyard just a half-hour after his mother had rescued him from a gang of bullies.

“It is a totally unnecessary tragedy for my children,” says Wendy Walsh, Seth’s mother. “I don’t know where all the hate comes from.”

Now bullies everywhere are being held to account. Dharun Ravi, the roommate who spied on Clementi, was charged and found guilty of a hate crime—on May 21 he was sentenced to 30 days in jail. The Department of Justice brought down harsh sanctions on Walsh’s school district, and the California legislature passed “Seth’s Law,” making it mandatory for schools to formally investigate bullying claims. News of 15-year-old Billy Lucas’ suicide inspired the creation of the “It Gets Better” campaign, a viral video series designed to show gay kids there’s a better life after graduation.

“That September woke a lot of older, grown-up LGBT members to the fact that while it had gotten so much better for us out in the world, there had been the inverse effect of upping the temperature for kids in school,” says Dan Savage, the Stranger editor and sex columnist who started “It Gets Better.” “I really do think it shifted the culture.”

The world swooned earlier this month when President Obama gave same-sex marriage his personal blessing (followed swiftly by the NAACP’s official endorsement of the same), but his administration’s efforts to combat bullying may actually be his more valuable contribution. Under his direction, the Department of Justice has vigorously pursued schools all over the country for failing to protect gay kids.

Obama also endorsed the Student Non-Discrimination Act, a bill introduced by Sen. Al Franken (D-Minn.) to make homosexuality a federally protected class.

“It gives them sort of the same civil rights as racial minorities got from the ’64 Civil Rights Act, that women got from Title IX,” says Franken. “I think more people are beginning to see this for what it is . . . This is a group of people that just overwhelmingly are the victims of bullying and harassment.”

When it comes to antigay bullying, society seems to be experiencing something of a paradigm shift. “I compare it to what happened in the South in the civil-rights movement,” says Jamie Nabozny, the plaintiff in the country’s first antigay bullying case. “The fall of 2010 will be comparable to what happened in Selma.” » CONTINUED ON PAGE 12 Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney has come under fire for bullying a gay classmate at prep school.

THE

GAY SELMA

BY JESSICA LUSSENHOP

JEFF MALET PHOTOGRAPHY/NEWSCOM

Seattle weekly • M AY 30– June 5, 2012

own peril.

ottle-blond bangs swept over one eye—this, the other boys whispered, was not a man’s haircut. One of them—a popular, handsome specimen—grew particularly incensed at his classmate’s new look. He formed a posse and found a pair of scissors. After locating the blond boy, the gang tackled him. The boy screamed for help, but none came. Lock by lock, his hair was lopped off. Soon after, the boy disappeared from school. Eventually he returned, his hair clipped short and back to its natural brown color.

There was no disciplinary action, but the incident would forever haunt everyone involved, save for the lead attacker, Mitt Romney. He forgot about it, married a pretty girl, produced five handsome sons, and made hundreds of millions of dollars.

Now he wants to be president.

Seattle weekly • M AY 30–Ju n e 5, 2012

11

The Gay Selma » from paGe 10

some kind of victimizawho attend schools with tion,” says Dr. Brian Mus“enumerated” antigaytanski, lead author and bullying policies heard director of the IMPACT fewer slurs and were onentil recently, the only classroom LGBT Health and Develthird less likely to skip conversation about homosexuopment Program. “People class. A California Safe ality and kids was how to keep had spit on them or yelled Schools Coalition report them separate. In the ’70s, teachat them, threatened or found that kids felt safer ers were routinely fired for coming out of the physically attacked them.” in school when they knew closet. There were no such things as GayBy the time the suithey had access to inforStraight Alliance clubs in schools. cides of September 2010 mation on LGBT issues.

The arrival of AIDS in the ’80s forced sexoccurred, the correlation “We know that there are education programs to acknowledge homobetween antigay bullying things that happen in a sexuality’s existence. That in turn triggered and self-harm was becomschool that make it less a righteous panic. In 1987, North Carolina ing too obvious to ignore. likely for these kinds of Republican Jesse Helms took to the Senate “We should no longer behaviors to be enacted,” floor brandishing a Gay Men’s Health Crisis accept the idea that bulsays Dr. Stacey Horn, a comic as part of his successful bid to ban lying is a rite of passage professor of educational federal funding for AIDS education materials Seth Walsh, 13, was bullied for young people,” says psychology at the Univerthat “promote or encourage, directly or indirelentlessly in his California Carolyn Laub, founder sity of Illinois at Chicago. rectly, homosexual activities.” school before he took his and executive director of This makes laws that Eight states still have language on the law own life in 2010. attempt to cover up the books derived from Helms’ “no homo promo” the Gay-Straight Alliance Network. “What we know antigay-bullying probpolicy. In Texas, sex-ed classes are required lem all the more insidious. States with “no to teach that homosexuality is “not an accept- from years of practice on the ground is that anti-LGBT bullying and harassment and homo promo” laws have significantly fewer able lifestyle and is a criminal offense.” In name-calling are learned behaviors, and they Gay-Straight Alliances. This year, “Don’t Say Arizona, the law forbids schools from porcan be interrupted and stopped.”

Gay” laws, which would make any mention of traying homosexuality “as a positive alternahomosexuality in school impermissible, gained tive lifestyle.” traction in Tennessee, Utah, and Missouri.

“There was this fear that if you were talkAnd some schools use troubling new ing about gay people, you were having inap“We should no longer programs to block potentially life-saving propriate conversations with students about accept the idea that information. In Camdenton, Mo., the school sex,” says Kim Westheimer, director of the bullying is a rite of district fought back when the ACLU’s Don’t Human Rights Campaign Foundation’s WelFilter Me Campaign asked it to dismantle coming Schools project. passage for young web-filtering software that prevented access In the ’90s, the gay-rights movement people.” to educational LGBT websites like Campus began to push back. An openly gay teacher in Pride. In the ensuing court case, a federal Boston named Kevin Jennings founded the judge ruled that “Camdenton’s internet-filter Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network system stigmatizes, or at least burdens, web(GLSEN) to help educators who wanted to hat gay students go through sites expressing a positive view toward LGBT offer counsel to gay kids. In 1999, a judge isn’t bullying as it’s convenissues.” affirmed that Gay-Straight Alliance clubs had tionally understood. “Those Camdenton may not be the worst of it, a right to gather on school grounds. kids have not been bulaccording to Chris Hampton of the ACLU’s “When Matthew Shepard died, that’s lied; they’ve been harassed,” says Dr. Susan LGBT Project. “We got tons of reports of this when folks really started to really pay attenStrauss, author of Sexual Harassment and going on all over the place,” she says. “We tion to what was happening in the lesbian, Bullying: A Guide to Keeping Kids Safe and even found a few schools that blocked us gay, bisexual community outside of AIDS, and Holding Schools Accountable. “It requires the while ‘pray away the gay’ websites are accesreally focusing on youth,” says Laura McGinschools to respond differently. It’s important sible.” nis, communications director for The Trevor for parents to know if the school doesn’t Project, a suicide-prevention group. respond, they can file charges with the state’s Allies of gay youth compiled research that Department of Civil Rights.” n the Internet age, bullying doesn’t stop shows that gay teens are overwhelmingly In one GLSEN survey, a scant 9 percent when kids leave school—it continues more likely than heterosexuals to face harass- of school principals believed antigay bullyonline. ment at school. The most recent figures from ing was happening “often” in their schools.

Take Zach King, for example. A GLSEN reported that 84.6 percent of LGBT Nearly all schools had anti-bullying policies 15-year-old boy from rural Ohio, King was students are verbally harassed. A third of gay in place, but only 46 percent specifically beaten so badly in a high-school classroom kids had skipped school mentioned sexual orientation. that two of his teeth were chipped. But it within the past month Similarly, 49 states have antiwasn’t until King got home and logged in that because they were bullying laws on the books, he realized the beating had been recorded afraid of their classbut only 14 include protecwith a cell-phone camera. “It was posted to mates. tion based specifically on his Facebook wall,” says Becky Collins, Zach’s A Northwestern Unisexual orientation or gender mom. “The wording was worse than the versity researcher just identity. actual fight: ‘Ha-ha, my cousin beat the fuck published the first longi“You can craft that in out of Zach King.’ ” tudinal study on LGBT such a way that the school There’s surprisingly little research on youth and suicide. It has the ability to really LGBT youth and cyberbullying. One small found that victims of step in with any bullying it study out of Iowa State University found that bullying were two-andsees, and at the same time of a sample of 444 students, mostly LGBT, a-half times more likely put other schools and stu54 percent had been cyberbullied in the past to attempt suicide or dents on notice,” says Sarah month—and 26 percent of those who had hurt themselves. It also Warbelow, state legislative been bullied experienced suicidal thoughts showed that even when director with the Human as a result. the kids had supportive Rights Campaign. “There are “It can reach out and get you 24/7. I think figures in their lives, certain types of bullying that that’s really hard for youth,” says Vickie harassment still coroccur more frequently and Henry, senior staff attorney for Gay & Lesbian rutgers freshman Tyler related strongly with are a huge problem, and we Advocates & Defenders. “We’ve had situaClementi jumped to his death suicidal thoughts. won’t ignore it.” tions with youth spending a lot of time online after he and a male date “The vast majority It’s not just a matter of trying to respond to these attacks.” were spied on by Clementi’s of LGBT youth in our semantics. A growing body of The same Iowa study found that antigayroommate. sample had experienced research shows that students bullying victims were less likely to go to

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aclu

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courtesy of Jane clementi

Seattle weekly • M AY 30– June 5, 2012

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“We’re seeing a much more active role by this administration.

It’s started to create this tipping point.”

W

hen schools tell students they can’t have a same-sex prom date or wear a “Jesus Is Not a Homophobe” T-shirt, advocacy firms like the ACLU, Lambda Legal, and GLAAD come to their aid. They now also have a powerful ally in the White House.

“Once Obama took office, people started really running,” says Deborah Temkin, the Department of Education’s research and policy coordinator for Bullying Prevention Initiatives. “We are engaged with nine other federal agencies, and I believe at last count

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Becky Collins, right, says her 15-year-old son Zach King, left, was attacked and beaten in a classroom because he is gay.

it was 32 offices within those nine agencies all working on this issue, which is unprecedented. We came together without a congressional mandate.”

Despite howls of outrage from Republicans, GLSEN founder Kevin Jennings was appointed to the staff of the Office of Safe and Drug-Free Schools in 2009. The Matthew Shepard Act became law, making assault based on sexual orientation a federal hate crime.

Secretary of Education Arne Duncan recently sent what’s known colloquially as a “Dear Colleague” letter to every school in the country declaring that this administration would consider discrimination against LGBT students a potential violation of Title IX. “We’re seeing a much more active role by this administration,” says Alison Gill, publicpolicy manager at GLSEN. “It’s started to create this tipping point.”

Two days after the “Dear Colleague” letter, the Department of Justice received a complaint from Wendy Walsh. She wrote that her son was harassed from the day he came out in sixth grade until the day he hung himself.

Federal investigators took the case.

“Despite having notice of the harassment, the district did not adequately investigate or otherwise respond to it,” the Office of Civil Rights concluded. “Based on the evidence gathered in the investigation, the departments concluded that the school district violated Title IX and Title IV.” New York Civil Liberties Union attorney Corey Stoughton reports that the Department of Justice was eager to help when she sued on behalf of Jacob Lasher, a gay student in the Mohawk school district in upstate New York who dropped out over violent threats from other students and harassment by teachers. “They called us. They told us they’d been looking for a case to establish this Department of Justice’s approach,” she says of the DOJ. “The Bush administration never

» Continued on page 15

WED, JUNE 6

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Seattle weekly • M AY 30–Ju n e 5, 2012

Yet social media has also been an invaluable tool for the anti-bullying movement.

After Savage posted the first “It Gets Better” video, he received 200 submissions in one week. Now the campaign counts 50,000 contributions—everyone from Adam Lambert to four of Seattle’s pro sports teams has participated. “I just spoke at a high-school journalism conference in Seattle,” says Savage. “There were thousands of high-school journalists, and half a dozen kids approached me and burst into tears because of the difference ‘It Gets Better’ has made in their lives.”

MUTUAL FISH COMPANY

ACLU

an adult for help, especially if their parents were inclined to restrict Internet access or take away their cell phones.

In an attempt to stop antigay harassment, Facebook has stepped up its reporting options and formed a coalition with groups like Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG).

Advocates have fought in and out of court with school districts that claim no responsibility for student behavior off school grounds.

Clementi’s parents say that if their son’s complaint had been taken seriously by his dorm’s resident assistant, he might still be alive today. “Maybe if his RA had reported it as a crime right away, if some adults had gotten involved, the police could have assisted Tyler,” says Jane Clementi.

“We didn’t know about it until it was too late.”

They hope Tyler’s story will open parents’ eyes before it’s too late. “We realized that losing a child is probably the worst experience a parent can have,” says Tyler’s father, Joseph.

“We started the foundation to remember Tyler and try to keep other parents from going through this kind of suffering that we went through.”

13

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Seattle weekly • M AY 30– June 5, 2012

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JASON ISBELL & THE 400 UNIT

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THE HELIO SEQUENCE

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Events SAT, JUNE 9TH

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FREMONT FAIR

The Gay Selma » from paGe 13 would have done this.”

But no school district received as much national attention as Anoka-Hennepin in Minnesota. The district experienced nine student suicides in two years, many of them directly related to anti-LGBT bullying. A district policy mandating that teachers remain “neutral” on topics of sexual orientation left adults standing on the sidelines.

Six student plaintiffs told of being stabbed with pencils and urinated on in restrooms.

The media frenzy culminated with a Rolling Stone article that caught the attention of celebrities including Aziz Ansari and Howard Stern. “It was the first time anyone had taken any interest in what was actually going on,” says Rebecca Rooker, whose son Kyle used to plead to come home from his Anoka-Hennepin school. “We got basically everything we asked for.”

Years of denial finally ended when the district tossed out its “no homo promo” policy and agreed to five years of DOJ monitoring as well as a raft of anti-harassment precautions.

“This is a groundbreaking, historic agreement that will be used as a model across the country to deal with these issues,” says attorney Zachary Stephenson, who helped represent the students.

“This is a groundbreaking, historic agreement that will be used as a model across the country to deal with these issues.”

Lambda Legal, the firm that represented Nabozny. “And still we’re lacking a federal law that is specific on protection for students on the basis of sexual orientation.”

Nabozny realized how little had changed since his experience, and started speaking in schools two years ago. He’s since received apologies from former classmates and even the children of his bullies. “A lot of people in the country don’t care if gay people have the right to marry—they didn’t think too much about LGBT rights,” Nabozny says. “Then people saw kids were killing themselves, and said, ‘Wait a minute, this isn’t OK.’ ” On a recent evening, Nabozny looked skeptically at his reflection in a multifaceted mirror. He was dressed in a sleek black tuxedo coat. “Can’t we just wear suits?” he begged.

“No,” answered Bo Shafer, the man standing next to him in a matching ivory tuxedo coat.

Jamie Nabozny (right)—who won the first antigay-bullying lawsuit against his school in 1996—and fiance Bo Shafer get measured for their wedding tuxes.

In September, Nabozny and Shafer are getting married in front of 150 guests, though the nuptials will not be legally binding.

“We still have people who are very intolerant out there—they’re fighting our right to be with who we want to be with and love who we want to love,” Nabozny explains.

“The marriage debate is much more heated and controversial. Protecting kids in school is not.” E news@seattleweekly.com

Jessica Lussenhop is a staff writer at City Pages, Seattle Weekly’s sister paper in Minneapolis.

Seattle weekly • M AY 30–Ju n e 5, 2012

Emily UtnE

O

ne of the conditions of the settlement is that Anoka-Hennepin is required to hire several consultants on sex discrimination and mental health. In the running for one of those positions is Jamie Nabozny, who has firsthand experience. Growing up in small-town Wisconsin, he was shoved into lockers, urinated on, and beaten so badly in a hallway that he had to have stomach surgery.

In 1996, Nabozny sued the school’s administrators. His bully took the stand and testified that their principal knew about the violent abuse. The jury found that Nabozny deserved equal protection based on sexual orientation under the U.S. Constitution and awarded him almost $1 million.

“That hadn’t been done before,” says Hayley Gorenberg, deputy legal director at

15

Seattle weekly • M AY 30– June 5, 2012

16

TICKETS AT STGPRESENTS.ORG, BY PHONE (877) 784-4849, THE PARAMOUNT THEATRE BOX OFFICE & 24-HOUR KIOSKS powered by

the»weekly»wire *

TUES: SIFF

Lights! Camera!

Misery!

The Woman in the Septic Tank is

DANCE

Appropriate for All Ages

The danger in promoting a ballet as “familyfriendly” is that a chunk of your potential audience will write it off as “kid stuff.” But Pacific Northwest Ballet’s production of Coppélia is not like Trix cereal—it isn’t just for kids. The work, with one of ballet’s most beautiful scores (by Léo Delibes), is full of complex and tricky dancing, restaged from its 19thcentury roots by George Balanchine in 1974 and laced together with a sunny plot full of mistaken identities and true love. (To refresh your memories: Mad scientist Dr. Coppelius creates a life-sized doll, Coppélia, who comes between lovers Franz and Swanilda. And look for PNB director Peter Boal as one of three dancers portraying the doctor.) After a year filled with all sorts of dancing, from traditional to cutting-edge, PNB closes its season with real sweetness. (Through June 10.) McCaw Hall, 321 Mercer St. (Seattle Center), 441-2424, pnb.org. $28–$168. 7:30 p.m. SANDRA KURTZ

Watts will mess with your lexicon.

DANCE

Audience Election

produced the Seattle International Dance Festival (aka Beyond the Threshold), he’s managed to find room for just one more new thing.

Tonight begins the indoor performances, featuring movement artists from as far away as India and as close as Capitol Hill (including a tribute to Seattle choreographer Mary Sheldon Scott). Saturday from noon to 6 p.m. is the “Art on the Fly” series of outdoor mini-events along the South Lake Union Trolley route.

Khambatta is also inaugurating the “Sanity Cafe” (Sat., June 9), a late-night cabaret performance of a trio of works to be created during the festival. The theme? That’ll be selected by you, the audience, this evening. (Through June 10.) Raisbeck Performance Hall (Cornish College), 2015 Boren Ave., 800-838-3006, seattleidf.org. $15–$50. 8 p.m. SANDRA KURTZ

Domingo leads her urchins to stardom?

a musical, and finally according to the soap-operatic ideas of Domingo, who plays herself taking a meeting with the filmmakers. The film’s dry punch line is that each revision isn’t presented as a gradual compromising of artistic integrity, but as merely another version of show business as usual. Pacific Place, 600 Pine St., 324-9996, siff.net. $11. 4 p.m. (Repeats 8:30 p.m. Thurs., June 7 at Harvard Exit.) NICK PINKERTON

sat/6/2 SIFF

End of the Indies?

Do you love Parker Posey, indie-movie queen of the ’90s? Of course you do. Do you love Dean Wareham, leader of indie bands Galaxie 500, Luna, and Dean & Britta? Again, yes.

What if I said you could indulge both these ever-closer-to-40 indie affinities in one short, enjoyable comedy? But here’s the catch: It’s all about giving up that indie edge, saying farewell

to your 30s, paying the mortgage, placating the wife, supporting the kid . . . and sleeping with your boss (Posey). Michael Walker’s debut feature Price Check places Pete (Eric Mabius) in the drab Long Island office of a large supermarket chain. His job has to do with pricing strategies and where to shelve goods. He used to work for an indie label, but he traded that for dull job security. Posey’s Susan enters as a pushy, needy, oversharing hellion from L.A.; she immediately shakes up the office, soon doubles Pete’s salary, and ingratiates herself with his son and wife. He’s flattered, and they share the same musical taste (Wareham, wallto-wall on the soundtrack and featured in a club scene), but Pete is also worried. Susan’s ambitions are more than professional. She tells Pete “I always get what I want,” which sounds both desperate and threatening in Posey’s manic, comic performance. Be warned that Price Check lacks a proper ending, but maybe its fizzle is just how your 30s end, too. Harvard Exit, 807 E. Roy St., 324-9996, siff.net. $11. 6 p.m.

(Repeats 11:30 a.m. Sun.) BRIAN MILLER ARTS & CYCLING

Rolling Appreciation

It starts, like all good things in life, in Kent.

There, few Seattle artgoers know, are some large, significant installations you can tour today during the Earthworks Tour Inaugural Bike Ride. Three loops range from a mostly flat 12-miler suitable for families to a hillier 23-mile circuit that heads up the hill to Robert Morris’ Johnson Pit #30, a major excavation in the west slope above Kent, ringed with

mon/6/4 MUSIC & BEYOND

The Sampler

Whatever the fate of local band Maktub, the future of Reggie Watts is assured. Now based in New York, he’s broken out nationally as a near-uncategorizable musician and performer.

(Credit Conan O’Brien for having Watts open his post–Tonight Show concert tour in 2010; the accolades soon followed, as did a brilliant TV ad for DieHard batteries.) It makes sense that so much of Watts’ act should involve languages, foreign accents, and sentences fragmented into melody lines, since he grew up a bilingual Army brat traveling all over Europe. From Montana to Seattle to Brooklyn, his journey has allowed him to sample and select random bits of culture that get reprocessed—sometimes on his laptop into loops played onstage—into dazzling improvised performances. He’s been touring almost continuously for the past two years, gathering still more sounds and phrases that he’ll scramble tonight in his former hometown. The Neptune, 1303 N.E. 45th St., 877-7844849, stgpresents.org. $35. 8 p.m. T. BONILLA

Seattle weekly • M AY 30–Ju n e 5, 2012

SIFF

Next time I go on vacation, I want Cyrus Khambatta to pack my bags—every year he’s

WENDY LYNCH REDFERN

a cheeky backstage farce of the poverty-film genre frequently exported by developing nations—here, the Philippines. Directed by Marlon Rivera, the film begins in the stench of the Manila slums, as a mother of seven (TV star Eugene Domingo) sets out to sell one of her children to a pedophile and an offscreen voice gives stage direction. The voice, we discover, belongs to director Rainier, who is visualizing this, his upcoming feature, with his producer Bingbong in an upscale Manila coffee shop, where they strategize how best to cater to the misery market. “The festival programmers aren’t going to have it any other way,” insists savvy Bingbong as they refashion the material, visualized as a docudrama (“The film will blur the lines between reality and fiction”),

fri/6/1

terraces and charred tree trunks. The eerie 1979 divot was funded by the King County Arts Commission, making use of an old gravel pit now flanked by homes and apartments.

Down at the Herbert Bayer Earthworks Park (the ride’s start/finish area), that 1982 stormwater containment project comprises a series of nested grassy rings and mounds designed by Herbert Bayer (1900– 1985). He was born in the Austro-Hungarian Empire, studied at the Bauhaus, art-directed Vogue in Weimar Germany, and was included in the Nazis’ notorious 1937 “Degenerate Art” exhibit before fleeing to the U.S. Being dedicated today is the Inkwell Collective’s Filaments, a series of dangling orange guideposts along the Green River Trail. (The long ride extends over to Renton and the Waterworks Gardens, by Lorna Jordan.) At the start/finish, there will also be music, family activities, and displays of local artworks—some, of course, on wheels. Herbert Bayer Earthworks Park, 742 E. Titus St., Kent; register at KentArts.org/ earthworks. Free. 9 a.m. BRIAN MILLER

17

arts»Visual Arts

TOWN HALL HIGHLIGHTS 5/30 - 6/5

Find love in the forest

Thursday, 5/31 at 7 pm

‘Rhythm on My Heels’: Tribute to Josef Škvorecký

Friday, 6/1 at 7:30 pm

Sunday, 6/3 at 4 pm

Short Stories Live: Asian Fairy Tales

Sunday, 6/3 at 7 pm

Seattle Jewish Chorale

Tuesday 6/5 at 6 pm

Science: John Palfrey: A Common Tech Language

Tuesday, 6/5 at 7:30 pm

By William Shakespeare Directed by George Mount

May 30–June 24

Center House Theatre, Seattle Center

Opens Friday!

Tickets: 206-733-8222 www.seattleshakespeare.org

Seattle weekly • M AY 30– June 5, 2012

Science: Richard Martin: Thorium, Super Fuel www.townhallseattle.org

18

BY BRIAN MILLER

A

Saturday, 6/2 at 9:30 am

UW & Conservation Magazine: Conservation Remix

Monday, 6/4 at 7:30 pm

Welcome to the Funhouse

Gary Hill’s big retrospective is anything but academic.

David Westin: An Insider’s View of TV News

Chris Guillebeau: Start Small, Live Large

»REVIEW

powered by

bad museum experience can be like a death march, trudging for what seems miles among the antiquities at the Met or the Louvre, trying to see the whole collection in a day.

And yet a good museum show should involve plenty of walking, too. You feel the difference in your feet—whether they’re tired and you just want to sit in the cafeteria, or you want to keep going, eager to reach the next gallery.

You feel the latter, invigorating sensaHill as the mad scientist tion at glossodelic attractors, if you behind our misperceptions. can get past the show’s title.

About that title: Californian Gary Hill came to Seattle in 1985 to establish the video image capture is deliberately imperfect. One department at Cornish. By then he’d already screen might get the color right, another the been exploring language and phenomenology facial profile, but you can never integrate the in his art, filtered through influences including four aspects as you crisscross the room. There surfing, skateboarding, and LSD. (Born in 1951, are four strands of meaning—something like he grew up during golden times.) So, psychedelic the blind men and the elephant. As with The + glossary = glossodelic. Get it—like a confusion Psychedelic Gedankenexperiment, our subjecof linguistic germs? And the “attractors” are the tive perceptions—that’s the phenomenology of things pulling you in, the units of familiar meanit—are being faceted and separately channeled. ing that engage you yet lead you astray, like a Staring through the stereoscopic viewer in rogue wave or some bad acid.

Beauty Is in the Eye at two evil clowns (again, One of the two big works that’ll remain up for only one evil clown) achieves the same effect. the show’s duration, The Psychedelic GedankenHill’s biggest piece further separates the eye experiment immediately teases your brain into and I. The maze component of his 1995 up/down, left/right confusion. Some kind of Withershins covers most of the floor of a large nutty professor (actually Hill) is giving a lecture gallery, but it wouldn’t obstruct a mouse. The on a pair of video screens, but his words register grid is maybe three inches tall, so you can step as gibberish or Esperanto. His movements are over it or enter at any point. But if you obey the herky-jerky and unnatural. It’s like a nightmare audio cues triggered by the sensors beneath flashback to freshman-year Physics 101—and your feet, a pattern or path emerges. Stimulus you don’t understand a word he’s saying! But yields instructions; there’s feedback underfoot. wait, maybe you’re not dreaming. Maybe you’re And a wall display of Post-It Notes serves as not high. Sit on the weird foam stools, put on the a record of obedience or intentions. “The left 3-D glasses, and you may recall the backwardhand spoke,” reads one note. “Hand appretalking dwarf dream in Twin Peaks. The hends hand,” says another. Video screens phonetic companion text on the wall (LSD is present silent instructions in sign language; “the most powerful and in time the most influthese two guides, male and female, are assigned ential work of art throughout all of history”) to the two entrance points. Hill is again dissocihelps translate the 22-minute videos—only one, ating your perceptions and sense of individual actually, synchronized on the two screens. agency (the I in I am going to do this), like the funhouse mirrors at the old penny arcade.

Reality is in there someplace, but it’s been It’s all very disorienting, enjoyably and refracted, its meaning redirected; and Hill intentionally so. My favorite video here is a similarly splits our perceptions with stereo slow, meditative helicopter shot of a surfboard viewers, prisms, and curved projection screens bobbing in the sea near Hawaii (Isolation in the smaller pieces that will rotate during Tank), a three-minute take running in conthe summer. (Thirteen works are currently tinuous loop. Says Hill of the gradual zoom-in on view.) Hill’s 1987 DIG—originally commisimage, “There’s a confusion that takes place sioned by the Henry—will return in August and between point-of-view and where you are”— run into January. It’s a two-story installation and who you are, he might well have added. E that he’s described as the “electromechanical/ alchemical mining of a wheel and its concomibmiller@seattleweekly.com tant metaphor.” So get ready for that.

One of Hill’s earlier interactive works is Mesh GLOSSODELIC ATTRACTORS (1978), in which floor sensors trigger crude, pixHenry Art Gallery, 4100 15th Ave. N.E., elated filming of the visitor walking through the 543-2280, henryart.org. $6–$10. gallery. Ephemeral little mini-portraits result on 11 a.m.–5 p.m. Wed., 11 a.m.–9 p.m. Thurs.–Fri., four video screens of varying resolution, but the 11 a.m.–4 p.m. Sat.–Sun. Ends Sept. 16.

BRIAN MILLER

Wednesday, 5/30 at 7:30 pm

Terry McDermott: Hunt for Khalid Sheikh Mohammed

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Seattle weekly • M AY 30–Ju n e 5, 2012

The Moore Theatre

MARCH 2, 2013 | MOORE | $30.50

A L L P R I C E S R E F L E C T S U B S C R I B E R P R I C I N G . A R T I S TS , D AT E S , V E N U E S A N D T I M E S S U B J E C T TO C H A N G E .

May 31 – June 24

JAN 19, 2013 | MOORE | $32 - $59

19 STG_Season_Weekly_5.17.indd 1

5/14/12 10:39 AM

arts»Performance CURRENT RUNS

Noah Benezra and • BED SNAKE Created by WET’s Bed Snake revolves around a

BY GAVIN BORCHERT

Stage OPENINGS

AMERICAN IDIOT The jukebox musical that transcends

the genre, with the songs of Green Day. The Paramount, 911 Pine St., 877-784-4849, stgpresents.org. $25 and up.

7:30 p.m. Tues., June 5–Thurs., June 7; 8 p.m. Fri., June 8; 2 & 8 p.m. Sat., June 9; 1 & 6:30 p.m. Sun., June 10.

AS YOU LIKE IT More cross-dressing in the Forest of Arden. Center House Theatre, Seattle Center, 733-8222. $15–$40. Previews May 30–31, opens June 1. 7:30 p.m.

Thurs.–Sat., plus some weekend matinees; see seattle shakespeare.org for exact schedule. Ends June 24.

THE CURSE OF MALIBU TIDES Fantastic.Z’s show is a murder mystery set backstage at a soap opera. JewelBox/Rendezvous, 2322 Second Ave., jewelboxtheater.com. $15– $17. Opens May 30. 7 p.m.

Wed. Ends June 27.

DEATH-DEFYING ADVENTURES IN COMEDY Dana Gould head-

lines, with Cathy Sorbo, David Crowe, host Lee Callahan, and music from the Jakael Tristram Trio. The Triple Door, 216 Union St., 838-4333, the tripledoor.net. $29–$39. 7:30 & 10 p.m. Sat., June 2.

T H I S CO D E 8 An all-star local cast TO DOWNLOAD THE FREE reads Dustin Lance Black’s SEATTLE WEEKLY new play about Perry v.

IPHONE/ANDROID APP Schwarzenegger, the case FOR MORE EVENTS OR VISIT to overturn California’s antiseattleweekly.com gay-marriage Proposition 8. Intiman Theatre, Seattle Center, 800-838-3006, brownpapertickets.com. $30 benefits the American Foundation for Equal Rights.

7 p.m. Mon., June 4.

MAGDA G A reading of a script for a film based on Garrett Fisher’s new opera, a new take on the Medea legend based on the life of Goebbels’ wife. The Project Room, 1315 E. Pine St., fisherensemble.org. 2 p.m. Sun., June 3.

IDINA MENZEL Wasn’t Kristin Chenoweth just here a week or so ago? Here’s the other star of the original cast of Wicked, performing pop and Broadway faves with a full orchestra. The Paramount, 911 Pine St., 877-784-4849, stgpresents.org. $38.75–$78.75. 8 p.m. Sat., June 2.

RENT: SCHOOL EDITION Broadway Bound Children’s Theatre presents a slightly cleaned-up version—but don’t worry, 525,600 minutes still equal one year.

(Recommended for ages 13 and up.) Seattle Musical Theatre, 7400 Sand Point Way N.E. # 101N, 800-838-3006, broadwaybound.org. $17.50. 8 p.m. Thurs., May 31– Fri., June 1; 2 & 8 p.m. Sat., June 2–Sun., June 3.

RIDDLED Marya Sea Kaminski wrote and performs this rock musical featuring the band Landlord’s Daughter.

Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave., hugohouse.org. $15–$20. Opens June 1. 8 p.m. Fri.–Sat. Ends June 23.

SARAH WAS HERE Updated fairy tales, written, directed, and designed by UW students and performed by middleand high-school students from Treehouse For Kids. ACT Theatre, 700 Union St., 292-7676, acttheatre.org. $5–$15.

7 p.m. Fri., June 1, 2 & 7 p.m. Sat., June 2.

SHEAR MADNESS A comic whodunit set in a salon. The Moore, 1932 Second Ave., 877-784-4849. $40. Opens May 31. Runs Tues.–Sun.; see stgpresents.org for exact schedule. Ends June 24.

SPIN THE BOTTLE Annex Theatre’s variety show. June’s show includes “comic woe,” “experimental heavy metal,” and plenty more. Annex Theatre, 1100 E. Pike St., 728-0933, annextheatre.org. $5–$10. 11 p.m. Fri., June 1.

SWEET NOTHING Subtitled a (grim) fairytale, Stephanie Timm’s play “explores the repercussions of violence and war through a fairytale lens.” Annex Theatre, 1100 E. Pike St., machamonkey.org. $15–$18. Opens June 1.

8 p.m. Fri.–Sat. plus Mon., June 11. Ends June 23.

Seattle weekly • M AY 30– June 5, 2012

SCAN

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WITH EMMETT • WEIRD AND AWESOME Host Montgomery shares the stage MONTGOMERY

with musicians, comics (sometimes national headliners), skits, and animation. June’s show includes performances by Jenna Bean Veatch, Kyle Loven, and others.

BRIAN MILLER Annex Theatre, 1100 E. Pike St., 728-0933, annextheatre.org. $5–$10. 7:30 p.m. Sun., June 3.

Send events to stage@seattleweekly.com, dance@seattleweekly.com, or classical@seattleweekly.com See seattleweekly.com for full listings. = Recommended

•

Hannah Victoria Franklin, slacker who sells his soul for mad microphone skillz and finds himself sucked into the underworld. Melody may creep in occasionally, but most of the soundtrack is a Satanic roar of braggadocio and violence, augmented by grainy film clips and bloody vidgames. Franklin commands a stage like few others; you just may want to sell her your soul, too. KEVIN PHINNEY Washington Ensemble Theatre, 608 19th Ave. E., washingtonens emble.org. $10–$50. 7:30 p.m. Thurs.–Mon. Ends June 2.

CAFÉ NORDO’S CABINET OF CURIOSITIES Tour “The World’s Most Elusive Culinary Museum” while savoring five courses plus wine. Washington Hall, 153 14th Ave., 800-838-3006, cafenordo.com. $60–$80.

Runs 7:30 p.m. Thurs., 8 p.m. Fri.–Sat., plus 7:30 p.m.

Sundays starting June 3. Ends June 17.

ENTERTAINING MR. SLOANE Playwright Joe Orton’s work requires a firm grasp of English dialects, and there are multitudes of them, all informed by class and locale.

Only when these are solidly in place can a comedy about homicidal class warfare support Orton’s vicious satire. Otherwise it’s an evening of three acts and the occasional can’t-miss joke. Just because a play is in English doesn’t make it English. KEVIN PHINNEY Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave., 800-838-3006, schmeater. org. $15–$23. 8 p.m. Thurs.–Sat. Ends June 16.

LEAVING IOWA A typical American family road trip is packaged into comedy. Taproot Theatre, 204 N. 85th St., 781-9707, taproottheatre.org. $15–$37. 7:30 p.m. Wed.– Thurs., 8 p.m. Fri., 2 & 8 p.m. Sat. Ends June 16.

THIS WIDE NIGHT Chloë Moss’ play about two exinmates trying to preserve their friendship on the outside. Seattle Public Theater at the Bathhouse, 7312 W. Green Lake Ave. N., 524-1300, seattlepublictheater.org.

7:30 p.m. Thurs.–Sat., 2 p.m. Sun. Ends June 10.

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THE VERY HUNGRY CATERPILLAR & OTHER ERIC CARLE FAVORITES Canada’s Mermaid Theatre brings

three favorites to life. Seattle Children’s Theatre, Seattle Center, 441-3322. $20–$36. See sct.org for schedule and availability. Ends June 14.

For more Current Runs, see seattleweekly.com.

Dance

ASHANI DANCES The first performance by Iyun Ashani

Harrison’s new troupe features three of his works.

Erickson Theatre Off Broadway, 1524 Harvard Ave., 800-838-3006, ashanidances.org. $20. 8 p.m. Fri., June 1, 2 & 8 p.m. Sat., June 2, 2 p.m. Sun., June 3.

COPPÉLIA: SEE THE WIRE, PAGE 17.

SEATTLE INTERNATIONAL DANCE FESTIVAL

SEE THE WIRE, PAGE 17.

Classical, Etc. OPERA ON TAP Opera favorites in an informal

atmosphere. Conor Byrne, 5140 Ballard Ave. N.W., operaontap.com/seattle.$5. 8:30 p.m. Wed., May 30.

LALAGE New work from the composer/poet team of Christian Asplund and Lara Candland. Chapel Performance Space, 4649 Sunnyside Ave. N., wayward music.blogspot.com. $5–$15. 8 p.m. Thurs., May 31.

SEATTLE SYMPHONY Songs from musicals. Benaroya Hall, 200 University St., 215-4747, seattlesymphony.org. $17–$93. 7:30 p.m. Thurs., May 31, 8 p.m. Fri., June 1, 2 & 8 p.m. Sat., June 2, 2 p.m. Sun., June 3.

NORTHWEST SINFONIETTA Gerard Schwarz guestconducts his son Julian in Dohnanyi’s Concertpiece for cello and orchestra, plus Beethoven and Dvorak.

Benaroya Recital Hall, Third Ave. and Union St., 866-8334747, nwsinfonietta.org. $19–$49. 7:30 p.m. Fri., June 1.

UW SYMPHONY Flutist Donna Shin solos in Gabriela Lena Frank’s Andean-inspired Illapa. Meany Hall, UW campus, 543-4880, music.washington.edu. $10–$15.

7:30 p.m. Fri., June 1.

CASCADIAN CHORALE “Water & Night” includes a premiere by Seattle composer Greg Bartholomew. St. Thomas Episcopal Church, 8398 N.E. 12th St., Medina, cascadianchorale.org. $12–$17. 7 p.m. Sat., June 2.

CHRIS COCHRANE This NYC guitarist performs with Climax Golden Twins at the Chapel Performance Space, 4649 Sunnyside Ave. N., 8 p.m. Sat., June, 2; and with reed player Paul Hoskin at Gallery 1412, 1412 18th Ave. E., 8 p.m. Mon., June 4. $5–$15.

SEATTLE BACH CHOIR A cappella music by Finzi and others. Trinity Episcopal Church, 609 Eighth Ave., seattlebachchoir.org. $15–$18. 3 p.m. Sun., June 3.

SEATTLE CHORAL COMPANY Rachmaninoff’s Vespers (aka “All-Night Vigil”). At Bastyr University Chapel, 14500 Juanita Drive N.E., Kenmore, 2 p.m. Sun., June 3, and Saint Mark’s Episcopal Cathedral, 1245 Tenth Ave. E., 8 p.m. Fri., June 8–Sat., June 9. $10–$27. 800-838-3006, seattlechoralcompany.org.

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arts»Visual Arts TheFussyeye » by brian miller

Inward-Looking

BRIAN MILLER

Memorial Day is past, summer is here, and it’s the season for outdoor art. And for clearing bramble patches, which is how artist Bryan Ohno supplied the materials for his temporary installation The Spiral Project: A Spiral of Hope. Forty volunteers helped him gather fallen branches from the East Duwamish greenbelt—including the notorious former homeless encampment overlooking I-5 known as “The Jungle.” Then 200 more volunteers helped Ohno assemble the curling edifice on the open gravel of Lake Union Park, facing the SLUT tracks and Amazonland across Mercer. Fifty feet wide and 22 feet high, the spiral is meant to be an “evocative sculpture” reflecting back on those denizens of The Jungle. “Rather than the tragic, downward spiral of hopelessness, the form will spiral up in a metaphor for ‘hope and opportunity,’ ” says the manifesto from Ohno’s Urban Art Concept.

Inside the lattice, which somewhat resembles a garden fence, there’s a tall sapling planted when the park opened two summers back. That’s your hope, maybe, but where’s the opportunity? During a Friday-morning visit, busy commuters barely gave the spiral a glance. Bikers and trolley riders were anxiously massed to cross Valley Street and

get to work. A few runners passed on their morning workouts. A homeless guy was sleeping on a bench sheltered by the awning of the park’s restroom. (Is it locked at night?) If The Spiral Project were permanent, like a massive rusty Richard Serra sculpture, people would stop, and be wary of entering its dark, claustrophobic embrace. But this twiggy metaphor is too flimsy to notice or disturb. It just reads as yard waste, creatively arranged. What do the homeless lack?

Make a giant bed out of the branches, or the outline of a house. (Or, if you want to be cruel, a 40-oz. bottle of malt liquor.) If you want to address such a pressing social need, given how empty and underused the park’s gravel is, the best statement would be a tent city for the homeless, right there in prosperous South Lake Union. Lake Union Park, 860 Terry Ave. N., urbanartconcept.com. Free.

Open daily 4 a.m.–11:30 p.m. Ends June 17.

“GORGEOUSLY WROUGHT AND EMOTIONALLY CHARGED!” - The New York Times

reaking e groundb

th

Y musical BROADWA

877-STG-4TIX • STGPRESENTS.ORG Tickets available at Tickets.com and select Ticketmaster locations

Priority seating and discounts for groups of 10 or more, call 888.214.6856

AmericanIdiotTheMusical.com AMERICAN IDIOT contains adult content and strong language. Additional fees may apply. All sales final, no refunds. Prices, shows, dates, schedules, and artists are subject to change.

Seattle weekly • M AY 30–Ju n e 5, 2012

Photos by Doug Hamilton and Paul Kolnik.

PLAYING NEXT WEEK! • JUNE 5-10 THE PARAMOUNT THEATRE

21

siffweek3»Picks & Pans WEDNESDAY, MAY 30 Beasts of the Southern Wild

Keyhole

Photo: Stuart Isett

June 8 – July 8

Northwest Premiere from LEWIS BLACK! Comedian and contributor to Comedy Central’s The Daily Show

Sarah Was Here June 1 – 2

Boundless Arts Performance Collective presents: Sarah Was Here, a new twist on the classic tale of Hansel & Gretel.

Short Stories Live: The Magic of Asian Fairytales June 3

Seattle weekly • M AY 30– June 5, 2012

Join us at Town Hall for Chinese, Japanese, and Indian Fairy Tales.

22

The Love Markets June 8

Don’t miss this celebrated Weimar cabaret band featuring Angie Louise and Nick Garrison!

Cordaviva June 22

Seattle’s own 9-piece AfroLatin dance band returns to ACT with infectious beats and gorgeous vocal harmonies.

See it all with an ACTPass! acttheatre.org | 206.292.7676 700 Union Street, Downtown Seattle

Shot mostly in black-and-white by local cinematographer Ben Kasulke (who’ll attend both screenings), Guy Maddin’s latest film feels like a rehash of all his past films (My Winnipeg, Brand Upon the Brain!, etc.). It’s a cluttered ghost house of memory and regret, stuffed with curios, taxidermy wolverines, and a few recognizable stars. Isabella Rossellini is back from The Saddest Music in the World. Here’s Jason Patric, who doesn’t have much better to do. Look—there’s Kevin McDonald from The Kids in the Hall. And for eccentricity’s sake, Udo Kier pops up in a few minor scenes. The text, sort of, is Ulysses’ return to Penelope in The Odyssey; only here Patric is a 1920s-style gangster and his wife (Rossellini) is sequestered upstairs with the naked, chain-rattling ghost of her father.

Downstairs, gangsters and gun molls quarrel, and Ulysses’ four kids are gradually introduced, all with legitimate grudges against their pa. A half-drowned girl serves as the medium in this seance-as-movie, which suggests that past hurts can never be repaired or forgiven. “Our house is a strange labyrinth,” says the ghost—but in Greek mythology, the labyrinth leads somewhere. Theseus does eventually kill the Minotaur, and there are consequences. Here, Maddin merely sends ghosts looking for ghosts. Ulysses is condemned to exile without hope for return.

BRIAN MILLER (Also 4:30 p.m. Fri., June 1.)

THURSDAY, MAY 31

True Wolf

6:30 P.M., SIFF CINEMA UPTOWN

In 1991, Montana wolf biologist Pat Tucker and her husband Bruce Weide began raising a wolf pup at the request of a filmmaker, who wanted to use the wild animal in a movie.

Once the scene was shot, Tucker and Weide had a choice: put little Koani to sleep, or spend the next 15 years—her projected lifespan— leading a wolf-centered life. They chose the latter, and Rob Whitehair’s doc tells the story of those 15 years, much of it captured via the couple’s home videos. We see Koani pulling Tucker across a snowy field on cross-country skis; Tucker and Weide digging through their butcher’s dumpster for surplus meat; Koani’s “wolf babysitter” Indy, a fluffy collie mix who looks diminutive next to his huge and rangy wolf friend; and, in one unnerving scene, Koani baring her teeth when Tucker tries to get her off the couch. But Tucker and Weide didn’t keep Koani to be a pet—at the time, Yellowstone National Park was preparing to reintroduce wolf packs, and opposition ran high—particularly among ranchers with livestock at risk. Groups like the Idaho

ONLINE » SEATTLEWEEKLY.COM aMORE See 8 more SIFF picks & pans.

FOX SEARCHLIGHT

6:30 P.M., SIFF CINEMA UPTOWN

Anti-Wolf Coalition equate wolves with Satan and protest with signs reading “Wolf Is the Saddam Hussein of the Animal World.”

Tucker and Weide then use Koani as an “ambassador animal,” bringing her to schools (!) and using her to teach communities about the much-maligned creatures. Weide asks for a middle ground between “the wolf that you fear and the wolf that lies down with the lamb.”

Neither depiction, it turns out, is accurate.

ERIN K. THOMPSON (Also 4 p.m. Fri., June 1.)

Beasts of the Southern Wild 6:30 P.M., EGYPTIAN

Benh Zeitlin’s Sundance prizewinner is about a community for whom holding on to what’s theirs is a communal effort, encompassing humans and animals, physical and metaphysical. Expanded from his prior short, it’s a wildly colorful fairy tale/allegory about a 6-year-old girl named Hushpuppy (extraordinary firsttime actress Quvenzhané Wallis), who lives in/on the Bathtub, a kind of magical ghetto island of outcasts floating off the southern coast of Louisiana. Hushpuppy learns that because the polar ice caps are melting, the community is expecting a storm that’s likely to drown them, as well as bring on the arrival of ice-age beasts called aurochs. With its remarkably imaginative (if not decidedly imaginary) creatures, often cloying naive-sage voiceover, and aestheticization of gluttonous decay, the approach is sort of Where the Wild Things Are co-directed by Terrence Malick and Harmony Korine, and the product is just as disorienting as that sounds. Beasts stumbles when it leaves the murky miasma of the Bathtub, when it makes its allegory to post-Katrina New Orleans explicit by sending the survivors of the drowned community to a mainland displacement camp. Both pagan and twee, Zeitlin’s film is never less than a wonder to look at; it’s also rarely anything more. KARINA LONGWORTH (Also SIFF Cinema Uptown, noon, Sat., June 2.)

FRIDAY, JUNE 1

P We Are Legion:

The Story of the Hacktivists 9 P.M., SIFF CINEMA UPTOWN

“Watch the fuck out.” That simple, blunt warning is uttered by one of the many talking heads—or perhaps one of the talking Guy Fawkes masks—in this doc about the notorious hacker group Anonymous, and is essentially the film’s take-home message. Namely, if you try to censor the Internet, get caught being a unconscionable hypocrite, or happen to lead a repressive regime in the midst of a democratic uprising, a swarm of angry, resourceful computer geeks will soon make your life miserable.

Director Brian Knappenberger briskly traces the evolution of the Anonymous movement from a group of flippant provocateurs on the anything-goes message boards of 4Chan to champions of freedom who challenged the Church of Scientology, helped facilitate the Arab Spring, and “scared the shit out of the powers that be.” Anonymous is many things to many people, but enough key members and experts are interviewed here that the movie deftly encapsulates who the hacktivists are and what they stand for. KEEGAN HAMILTON (Also Egyptian, 1:30 p.m. Sun., June 3, and Kirkland, 8:30 p.m. Wed., June 6.)

SATURDAY, JUNE 2

Countdown

6 P.M., SIFF CINEMA UPTOWN

There’s every reason to expect more from this South Korean crime thriller. Rather than the usual high-tech action movie, this is a highconcept battle of wits featuring a pair of con artists, an unhinged young gangster out for

siffweek3»Picks & Pans payback, and an emotionally paralyzed collection agent (Jeong Jae-yeong, so impassive he’s practically absent) who will die in 10 days without a liver transplant. Which would be cool if there was anything more to the film than clever gamesmanship, a succession of chase scenes, and the occasional gang brawl.

First-time writer/director Huh Jung-ho has that sleek, slick, steely visual style down, but he mistakes narrative hooks and plot twists for story. Countdown gets distracted by the busy work of its plotting. Teasing flashbacks to our frosty hero’s tragic past are so drawn-out that they lose all emotional impact. The rousing of dormant maternal instincts in the cheerfully amoral con woman (Jeon Do-yeon, clearly enjoying herself ) feels purely obligatory.

There’s a potentially interesting story lost in the tangle here, and by the third or fourth ending (the film just keeps piling them on), you get a glimpse of what it might have been.

SEAN AXMAKER (Also 3 p.m. Mon., June 4.)

SUNDAY, JUNE 3 Italy Love It or Leave It

deep analysis, he charts a fault line of age that runs parallel to income inequality—a system Berlusconi rigged to favor old, entrenched interests. By the end, you’d love to see Luca and Gustav repeat their project by driving across the U.S.—in the new Fiat 500, of course, with air conditioning and cup holders.

BRIAN MILLER (Also 6 p.m. Tues., June 5.)

Mel Brooks’ Tony AwArd-winning MusicAl coMedy sMAsh

MONDAY, JUNE 4

P Prime Time Soap 6:30 P.M., HARVARD EXIT

Issaquah: (425) 392-2202 • www.VillageTheatre.org • Everett: (425) 257-8600

ITALYLOVEITORLEAVE.IT

It’s 1978, and Brazil is doubly in thrall: to a brutal anti-Communist dictatorship and to telenovelas. In the kitchen, put-upon maid Dora watches TV news footage of bloodily quashed political protests. Her employer, lollipoppy call girl Amanda, meanwhile lounges in her bedroom drooling over Dancin’ Days, a cheeseball drama set at a disco (a real show, which starred Sonia Braga at the height of her sizzle). This premise may make Prime Time Soap sound campier than it is; sprinkles of black comedy are there, but what director Odilon Rocha primarily borrows from the titular genre is tangled, twisty plotting. We also meet a secret cell of those protesters, a gay teen being raised by his grandparents, and a soft-spoken diplomat. How they all interact—after a policeman/client winds up dead in Amanda’s bedroom, sending her and Dora on the run—is the film’s chief pleasure. Rocha doesn’t back off from grimness, but nor does he seem to blame his countrymen for having preferred kitschy escapism to facing the regime’s hideous realities. Sympathetic to how necessary such telenovelas must have been, he affectionately uses a disco as the setting for his plot resolutions—gruelingly suspenseful, happy, and bittersweet.

GAVIN BORCHERT (Also 4 p.m. Tues., June 5.)

issAquAh: MAy 9- July 1 evereTT: July 6-29

P Italy Love It

or Leave It

NOON, SIFF CINEMA UPTOWN

TUESDAY, JUNE 5

P Moonrise Kingdom 7 P.M., EGYPTIAN

Don’t even bother hoping for standby tickets tonight, since Wes Anderson’s highly anticipated new feature is sold out. Besides, it opens this Friday at Pacific Place and Guild 45th, so you can stand in line then. But I will say this: Though I’ve had issues with Anderson’s hyper-whimsical/melancholy style in the past, this is the best and most satisfying work of his career. Two 12-year-olds elope through the woods, pursued by Bill Murray, Bruce Willis, Frances McDormand, Edward Norton, and an overzealous scout troop. Along the way, there are electrical storms, first kisses, scissor stabbings, and dancing on the beach to vintage French pop. The youngsters are dead set on serious, grown-up romance (though imperfectly understood), while their concerned elders are reminded of lost youth. It’s a meticulous, tender storybook tale set on a notquite-enchanted island. BRIAN MILLER E film@seattleweekly.com

Seattle weekly • M AY 30–Ju n e 5, 2012

Our tour guides/social critics in this documentary road movie are Luca Ragazzi (the one with glasses, who narrates in crisp English) and his boyfriend, Gustav Hoffer, who declares himself disgusted with Berlusconi’s Italy and suggests they leave.

(This is precisely what many young, educated Italians are doing to find work abroad.) So the two pack themselves into a vintage Fiat 500—several of them, actually—and set off to catalog what’s wrong and possibly right about their homeland. Whimsical maps and animation help us track their journey from the top of the boot to the toe. Along they way they meet Fiat workers, philosophers, feminists, fascists, Mafia experts, a self-professed gay Communist mayor, and a swarm of Berlusconi supporters in Milan just as the Rubygate/ bunga-bunga scandal is beginning to crack the prime minister’s regime. One crone praises Berlusconi’s “youth” and vitality (enhanced by plastic surgery and Viagra, as we know), to which Luca politely replies that there are no young people at the rally. Italy’s youthunemployment rates and stagnant economy are a dire warning to the rest of Europe, and possibly the next big crisis after Greece.

Though Luca favors colorful anecdote over

23

film»This Week’s Attractions

ULTRASONICMOVIE.COM

Seattle weekly • M AY 30– June 5, 2012

OPENS FRI., JUNE 1 AT MERIDIAN AND OTHER THEATERS. RATED R. 93 MINUTES.

Its opening shots replete with heavily fetishized close-ups of kids taking hits off joints and its dialogue peppered with lines like “Getting high . . . it’s like freedom,” John Stalberg Jr.’s dismal stoner comedy does little to inject any sense of joy or laughter into its depiction of teenage pot antics.

When soon-to-be valedictorian Henry (Matt Bush) is goaded by “stoner flunky” Breaux (Sean Marquette) into taking his first toke, the timing couldn’t be worse. The principal of their SoCal high school has declared an all-out war on the “sticky green,” which means random drug tests for the entire school and the certain expulsion of both kids. Not to worry, because Breaux hits on the idea of robbing drug dealer Psycho Ed (a cornrowed and incredibly tweaked-out Adrien Brody) and dosing the brownies at the school bake sale with high-grade dope to even the playing field. All this is remarkably cheerless, and somehow the prospect of an entire student body and faculty high off their gourds fails to generate even perfunctory laughter. There’s a certain relentlessness to the film’s stoned vibe that gets under your skin, but it’s far from enough to make up for the project’s dreary mirthlessness. ANDREW SCHENKER

The Intouchables OPENS FRI., JUNE 1 AT PACIFIC PLACE. RATED R. 112 MINUTES.

If you are under the impression that a far more discerning and sophisticated moviegoing public still exists somewhere on the other side of the Atlantic, I would direct you toward The Intouchables, an event-size hit in its native France and a bit of feel-good social-drama pandering that makes The Blind Side seem positively Renoir-esque in its delicate touch.

A “Based on a True Story” announcement is invariably a warning that you’re about to watch a movie in which nothing resembling

ONLINE » SEATTLEWEEKLY.COM aMORE See reviews of For Greater Glory and

24 Snow White and the Huntsman.

Ultrasonic: Are conspiracy theories contagious? Repshas (left) and Rao.

human behavior is seen. The Intouchables details the unlikely friendship between multimillionaire quadriplegic Philippe (François Cluzet) and his live-in caretaker, Driss (Omar Sy), a Senegalese-born son of the banlieue. Moving into Philippe’s gilded Parisian palace, Driss blows the dust off the place, prescribing his employer hash for his phantom pains, funking up a tuxedoed white folks’ party, and dealing tough advice to Philippe’s daughter’s #firstworldproblems.

With his ghetto-striver’s preference for the shiny and new, Driss also liberates Philippe from the straitjacket of musty high-culture connoisseurship, which allows for tedious, ignorance-affirming cracks at modern painting and opera. The leads’ charisma goes some small way toward softening the script’s cudgeling sentimentality, but the overall effect is a drubbing all the same. NICK PINKERTON

Joffrey: Mavericks of American Dance RUNS FRI., JUNE 1–THURS., JUNE 7 AT NORTHWEST FILM FORUM. NOT RATED. 90 MINUTES.

A deeply archived and circumspect history of the Joffrey dance company, this doc does a perfect white swan but has trouble developing much of a personality. In 1956, Robert Joffrey formed his troupe with the idea of creating an alternative to the Swan Lakes of the ballet world, and journeyman director Bob Hercules has assembled some of Joffrey’s first dancers to contribute to his respectful oral history of that ambition and, to a lesser extent, the men behind it. Both Joffrey and his partner Gerald Arpino are deceased, and interview footage is limited; there is a quick reference in the narration, by Mandy Patinkin, to the romantic relationship that settled into platonic, lifelong cohabitation. We must also infer much about big blowups, including the time Joffrey’s benefactor Rebekah Harkness walked her support and most of his dancers out the door.

There is some pretty marvelous footage of the early ballets, and even a soft-shoe version of the company’s struggles (with money and reputation) and triumphs (with Arpino’s original works and a Sergei Diaghilev revival)

proves compelling. But the impersonality at the heart of this American story leaves you wondering about all the steps and turns it’s missing. MICHELLE ORANGE

P The Manzanar Fishing Club OPENS FRI., JUNE 1 AT VARSITY. NOT RATED. 74 MINUTES.

This documentary opens with a photomontage Ultrasonic RUNS FRI., JUNE 1–THURS., JUNE 7 AT of Japanese-Americans in the late ’30s and GRAND ILLUSION. RATED R. 93 MINUTES. early ’40s, just before the outbreak of WWII, going about all-American activities: shopping, If you’re going to save yourself from selfpicnicking, attending Boy Scout meetings, and indulgence as the writer/director/star/ pledging allegiance to the U.S. flag. None of composer of a shoestring indie, you’d better that mattered when war broke out and more do something risky or odd with it. The tipping than 100,000 Americans of point for me came when Rohit Colin Rao, playJapanese descent were rounded up (some ing a tinnitus-afflicted musician named Simon, voluntarily) for internment. Director Cory treats himself to a five-minute close-up—starShiozaki tackles this grim chapter in Ameriing into the bathroom mirror as he tries to figcan history from an original angle, celebrature out what’s wrong with his ears. Is that noise ing a subtle but powerful form of resistance he hears—and only he hears—psychosomatic? practiced by many behind the army-patrolled (His wife is pregnant, and money is tight.) Has barbed wire: When roughly 10,000 Japanesehe been contaminated by his brother-in-law’s Americans were relocated to the Manzanar paranoid schizophrenia? Or is the government camp, they discovered that nearby creeks were actually broadcasting high-frequency mindteeming with trout, and many took to sneaking control signals from the telephone poles of out of the camp to fish. Shiozaki squeezes in Washington, D.C.? He slowly probes one ear history lessons on the region (located between with a Q-tip and . . . examines a small drop of L.A. and Reno), includblood. (The movie’s in ing how the trout came black-and-white with a to be there, while giving few grace notes of color, a thorough look at the but curiously not here.)

Japanese community If Simon had extracted both pre- and postwar. a computer chip or an He does that with lots of alien worm overlord newsreels and photos, but or a tiny submarine most powerfully through containing the judges interviews with survivors of American Idol, Ultra(identified by the block, sonic might’ve gone barracks, and camp somewhere interesting. apartment they lived in).

What we have instead is Jackson does his Jackson thing The film is engrossing as a bland, mediocre actor just fine in The Samaritan. it explains how and why, who relentlessly overfor those interned, the scores every scene of his simple act of fishing was both meditative and film. If Simon is mentally ill, he’s not interestutterly subversive. MICHAEL ATKINSON ingly mentally ill. In fact, it’s the brother-in-law (Samuel W. Repshas) whose scenes convey some jagged pathos. Think back to Keane or The Samaritan RUNS FRI., JUNE 1–THURS., JUNE 7 AT Bug, and the filmmaking lesson is clear: Your GRAND ILLUSION. NOT RATED. 90 MINUTES. protagonist needs to be the crazy guy, not the friend of the crazy guy. And make the blood red “Nothing changes unless you make it change,” next time. BRIAN MILLER E intones recently paroled grifter Foley (Samuel L. Jackson) in The Samaritan, a repeated film@seattleweekly.com THESAMARITANFILM.COM

High School

mantra not subscribed to by David Weaver’s by-the-books criminal-redemption saga.

Released after 25 years behind bars for killing his partner during a con gone awry, Foley quickly finds the old life hard to escape— particularly because his murdered best friend’s son Ethan (Luke Kirby) is determined to blackmail Foley into participating in an $8 million swindle that involves entrapping Foley in a romantic relationship with young drug addict Iris (Ruth Negga). Weaver’s panoramas of glittering nighttime skyscrapers contribute to a mood of ominous melancholy, and Jackson is surprisingly low-key, evoking Foley’s guilt, despair, and fear of repeating past mistakes with minimal quiet-LOUD histrionics. A hilarious mid-narrative bombshell lends just enough B-movie tawdriness to the film’s otherwise rote scenario, and a scene-chewing Tom Wilkinson, as a nefarious bigwig in league with Ethan, brings the action similar, if too brief, cheesiness. As it crawls toward its climactic scam, however, Weaver’s story slowly begins to buckle under the weight of its own selfseriousness and familiarity, concluding with a showdown and resolution marked by one implausible and unsatisfying been-here-donethat twist after another. NICK SCHAGER

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(1951)

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Alexandre Lagarde (Jean Reno) is a renowned chef fighting against molecular cuisine and a slippery financier; Jacky (Michaël Youn) gets fired from diners for trying to liberate frites-filled menus. When they meet, the results are deliciously funny.

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In this brisk and irreverent six degrees of separation melodrama, a maid, a prostitute, a diplomat, a revolutionary, and a gay teenager live their lives through the euphoria of a disco-themed soap opera during the 1978 military dictatorship in Brazil.

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First-time filmmaker Benh Zeitlin won the Sundance Grand Jury Prize for his critically acclaimed surrealistic tale of six-year-old Hushpuppy, who refuses to leave her home in the Louisiana Delta as an environmental apocalypse descends.

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film»

BY BRIAN MILLER

New THE CITY DARK Adhering to the brand of bad-faith

agitprop that views—and damns—the world through a chosen narrow lens, The City Dark mounts a case for why “light pollution,” a/k/a artificial illumination, is a serious threat to mankind and our environment.

Frustrated by the dearth of visible stars in the New York sky, Maine-raised filmmaker Ian Cheney sets out to evaluate celestial visibility everywhere from Staten Island to Hawaii, tracking the skies via arresting astrophotography. Yet his scientific method goes undefined: His shoots aren’t controlled for time of night, weather, or moon position. Nevertheless, and to the surprise of no sighted individual over the age of 4, he discovers that you can’t see constellations from Times Square, and the sky looks clearer the further you move from a city. But according to Cheney and select fellow travelers, including astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson and astronaut Don Pettit, it’s not just the stars that we’re losing track of in urban environments—it’s our souls.

Underneath all of the wild hyperbole and unproven hypotheses—that city lights cause breast cancer, foster egocentrism, and prevent us from detecting “Earth-killing asteroids,” among other things—is an obvious unease with urbanism and the synthetic necessities of city life. Cheney is welcome to his anxiety, but not to the specious science of societal collapse by street lamp. Call for showtimes. (NR) ERIC HYNES Northwest Film Forum, $6-$10, June 2-7.

Local Film

FLASHDANCE The smash hit of 1983, starring Jennifer

Beals as the aspiring dancer, is screened as a fundraiser for DakotaDance. (R) Central Cinema, $6-$8, Thu., May 31, 8 p.m.

HUGO THE HIPPO From 1975, this very colorful animated kid flick features the voices of Burl Ives (the narrator), Paul Lynde, and Robert Morley. In it, one of the shark-fighting hippos of the Kingdom of Zanzibar is orphaned, then subsequently adopted by a child. With songs by Marie and Jimmy Osmond. (NR) Northwest Film Forum, $6-$10, Sat., June 2, 5 p.m.; Sun., June 3, 5 p.m.

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER In this 1997 thriller, teens played by Freddie Prinze Jr., Sarah Michelle Gellar, and Jennifer Love Hewitt realize that their hit-and-run accident wasn’t free of consequences. The victim comes after them with a big, nasty hook. Call for showtimes. (R) Central Cinema, $6-$8, June 1-6.

NEXT 50 FILM SERIES SIFF helps Seattle Center celebrate its 50th anniversary with a free Wednesdaynight series touching upon topics like organic farming, music, beekeeping, clean water, Sputnik, and Woody Guthrie. See the siff.net for full schedule and details.

(NR) SIFF Film Center, Free, Wednesdays, 7 p.m.

Through July 18.

•

10,000,000 VIEWS ON YOUTUBE AND I STILL CAN’T GET A FUCKING CAB! Local filmmaker Len

Ongoing

THE AVENGERS The Tesseract—a powerful glowing

cube—is captured by Loki (Tom Hiddleston), brother of demigod Thor (Chris Hemsworth). Ass-kicking Girl Friday Natasha Romanoff (Scarlett Johansson) and eye-patched S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) gather a motley crew to get it back, including Tony Stark/Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.), Bruce Banner/Hulk (Mark Ruffalo), Captain America (Chris Evans), and Thor. Writer/director Joss Whedon effectively creates a sketch of a working universe, but the most Whedon-esque parts of the script are the superheroes’s flippant wisecracks. Yet we never get

Send events to film@seattleweekly.com See seattleweekly.com for full listings = Recommended

•

need here is a little more meat. (R) Michael Atkinson Varsity MEN IN BLACK 3 Men in Black 3 reunites the series stars Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones with director Barry Sonnenfeld, who, beginning with 1991’s The Addams Family, has made his fortune on specialeffects comedies that could be synopsized and cross-promoted on the side of a 44-ounce fountain drink. Checking in on Men in Black 10 years later, the ticket price has changed, but not the product. Agent J (Smith) and Agent K (Jones) have retained their affable younger black guy/tight-assed older white guy repartee. While J is nagging the emotionally constipated K to be more forthcoming, Boris “The Animal” (Jemaine Clement), an intergalactic hellion who K collared and crippled in 1969, is busy busting out of lunar prison. Boris is seeking not only revenge on K, but also a complete do-over of the past 40 years, during which his entire belligerent race was driven to extinction. Boris plans to effect this massive mulligan by traveling back in time to assassinate a young K. To prevent this, J has to preventatively travel to ‘69 himself, where he partners with a young K (Josh Brolin, doing a fair TLJ impersonation) and hustles against time to hunt down Boris. The resulting film says practically nothing about the world of 1969, but a great deal about our present-day blockbuster morass. (PG-13) Nick Pinkerton Kirkland Parkplace, Lincoln Square, Pacific Place, Thornton Place, Bainbridge Cinemas MONSIEUR LAZHAR The Montreal schoolyard where Alice and Simon exchange their usual morning jabs is capped with snow, and their classroom is filled with bright winter light. Then that light is cut by an incongruous moment of darkness, and the rest of Philippe Falardeau’s understated, affecting Canadian drama charts the resulting wave of grief as it breaks across a school community. Alice and Simon’s class gets a new coat of paint and a new teacher—the monsieur of the title (Mohamed Fellag), a mysterious Algerian emigrant. Falardeau meshes Lazhar’s secrets and the hidden turbulence of the situation he has stepped into with a sensitivity that lifts the story out of refugee cliché. (PG-13) Michelle Orange Crest

•

WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU’RE EXPECTING

Heidi Murkoff’s mega-bestselling manual actually makes perfect sense as a vehicle for a contemporary Hollywood ensemble comedy. What to Expect presents gargoyles as characters—a tableau of yuppie soullessness, including Cameron Diaz’s newly pregnant fitness guru; Wendy (Elizabeth Banks), a Snuggie-wearing, mom-wannabe who runs a shop called “Breast Choice”; and Holly (Jennifer Lopez), a children’s photographer who’s hoping to adopt despite the reservations of her callous hubby. Soon, we’re cycling through baby bumps, sonograms, and marital meltdowns between irrational alpha gals and their resentful, ineffectual patsies. Once the babies arrive, the film, much like the culture at large, insists that pleasure ends when parenting begins, yet also that the parenting life is the only one worth living.

God forbid there could be something in between.

(PG-13) Eric Hynes Woodinville, Kirkland Parkplace, Pacific Place

THEATERS: Admiral, 2343 California Ave. SW, 938-3456;

Big Picture, 2505 First Ave., 256-0566; Big Picture Redmond, 7411 166th Ave. NE, 425-556-0566; Central Cinema, 1411 21st Ave., 686-6684; Cinebarre, 6009 SW 244th St. (Mountlake Terrace)., 425-672-7501; Cinerama, 2100 Fourth Ave., 448-6680; Crest, 16505 Fifth Ave. NE, 781-5755; Egyptian, 801 E. Pine St., 781-5755; Grand Illusion, 1403 NE 50th St., 523-3935; Guild 45, 2115 N. 45th St., 781-5755; Harvard Exit, 807 E. Roy St., 7815755; iPic Theaters, 16451 N.E. 74th St. (Redmond), 425-636-5601; Kirkland Parkplace, 404 Park Place, 425-827-9000; Lincoln Square, 700 Bellevue Way N, 425-454-7400; Majestic Bay, 2044 NW Market St., 7812229; Meridian, 1501 Seventh Ave., 223-9600; Metro, 4500 Ninth Ave. NE, 781-5755; Northwest Film Forum, 1515 12th Ave., 267-5380; Oak Tree, 10006 Aurora Ave. N, 527-1748; Pacific Place, 600 Pine St., 888-262-4386; Seven Gables, 911 NE 50th St., 781-5755; SIFF Cinema Uptown, 511 Queen Anne Ave. N., 324-9996; SIFF Film Center, 305 Harrison St. (Seattle Center), 324-9996.; Thornton Place, 301 NE 103rd St., 517-9953; Varsity, 4329 University Way NE, 781-5755.

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Davis has uploaded some 400 videos to the Web since 1997. Tonight, he’ll screen and discuss some of his best efforts. After-party follows around the corner at Elysian Brewery. (NR) Northwest Film Forum, $6-$10, Sun., June 3, 7 p.m.

VACATION Chevy Chase stars as the grumpy, clumsy dad driving his family cross-country in this reasonably funny road movie, directed by Harold Ramis and written by John Hughes. Beverly D’Angelo, Anthony Michael Hall, and Randy Quaid provide support. Call for showtimes. (R) Central Cinema, $6-$8, June 1-5.

the sense that any of the heroes might not survive to snark again, and the suspense-free movie amounts to a gallery of masculine neurosis. (PG-13) Karina Longworth Bainbridge Cinemas, Cinerama, Kirkland Parkplace, Lincoln Square, Meridian, Thornton Place, Varsity THE BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL Reliable middlebrow craftsman John Madden makes neat work of Deborah Moggach’s novel about a group of disparate British retirees lured—for cut-rate surgery, low-overhead living, or reasons they hope to keep private—to India. The cast is led by Dame Judi Dench as a longsheltered widow looking to stand on her own two feet.

Marigold Hotel has that oh-so-tactful British touch, the seeming result of an industry-wide gentleman’s agreement never to go too far. The material is ribald but, of course, never crude and sewn with “Life begins at 60” affirmations. Although the film is overextended by a few plotlines too many, you’ll look forward to Tom Wilkinson’s turn as a retired high court judge who still goes fluttery over the memory of an affair from schoolboy days and Bill Nighy as a shy, ineffably decent man, quietly surprised by how nimble he becomes in this new atmosphere. (PG-13) Nick Pinkerton Guild 45th, Big Picture Redmond, Kirkland Parkplace, Lincoln Square, Pacific Place, Thornton Place THE DICTATOR Admiral General Aladeen (Sacha Baron Cohen) travels to New York to defend Wadiya’s nuclear program to the U.N. His brother (Ben Kingsley) attempts to sell him out, hiring a goat-fetishizing look-alike (also Baron Cohen) to serve as Aladeen’s double in a plot to exploit Wadiya’s oil. The real dictator escapes his scheduled assassination and ends up outside the U.N. in bum garb, leading the gathered protesters in a cry against the “illegitimate” leader addressing the assembly inside and drawing the attention of Zoe (Anna Faris), a crunchy Brooklyn activist. Baron Cohen’s new character doesn’t seem to amount to much more than an imprecise, inconsistent accent and a played-for-laughs proclivity for rape, in a film dedicated to the rehearsal of culture-clash stereotypes that generally fail to unearth anything new about any of the cultures involved. (R) Karina Longworth Kirkland Parkplace, Lincoln Square, Pacific Place, Thornton Place FIRST POSITION The nonfiction formula pioneered by Spellbound leads to frustrating superficiality in First Position, a glossy documentary about a multicultural collection of young ballet dancers striving to secure awards, scholarships, and job contracts at the prestigious annual Youth America Grand Prix. Director Bess Kargman adheres to a now-familiar template in which glib portraits of various talented kids from around the world provide human-interest background for the central competition, which in this instance is a vital gateway to an adult artistic career. From adopted Sierra Leone orphan Michaela and Colombian-born Joan Sebastian to military-family prodigy Aran and brother-sister duo Jules and Miko, Kargman’s subjects are a uniformly gifted and engaging group. However, their home lives and struggles with a variety of relevant issues—racism, peer discrimination born from gender stereotypes, injuries, anorexia, and the personal and monetary sacrifices made by both children and their parents to chase this dream—are given little more than cursory lip service. The result is a film that eschews in-depth insight in favor of easily digestible who’s-going-to-win suspense, a tack that’s aided by Kargman’s rather poignant (and visually graceful) evocation of pre-performance anxiety but ultimately leaves the material feeling deflated once the winners emerge. (NR) Nick Schager Seven Gables HEADHUNTERS Arguably the strangest of the many recent Scandinavian movies to rifle through modern American-indie tropes and then cash in by getting bought up for an American remake (see: Let the Right One In), Morten Tyldum’s ironic-violent farce focuses on the spirit of the Coen brothers’ catalog, from Blood Simple to Burn After Reading. Our escort through the glossy mayhem is a diminutive executive recruiter (toadish Aksel Hennie), who keeps his Norse goddess wife in luxuries by stealing art on the side and eventually goes after the wrong Rubens, thus crossing the path of the wrong corporate cannibal (the preposterously handsome Nikolaj Coster-Waldau). This leads to our headhunter becoming the hunted, with bad guys chasing him across a good part of Norway’s picturesque fjords, highways, and forests. Which is the strange part—presumably the Hollywood reboot will establish a logical reason for the psychotic chase and blood spree, because Tyldum doesn’t quite, focusing instead on absurd set pieces and bottoming out, so to speak, deep in an outhouse shit pit. Plenty of twisty scripting makes the queasy damage seem conceptually neat and tidy, as if that’s a good idea, but what we

27

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food&drink»

Smoke and Mirrors

Ballard’s barbecue boom fails to impress an aficionado.

The Boar’s Nest, and Bitterroot transformed a former barbecue wasteland into the city’s most densely concentrated barbecue district.

Incredibly, the neighborhood’s barbecue quotient is set to tick up again this summer when Kickin’ Boot Whiskey Kitchen opens alongside Bastille.

Like the Three Little Pigs, the newcomers have undertaken their task with varying degrees of seriousness. RoRo’s has constructed the equivalent of a straw house, serving miserable, trucked-in meat that any

RoRo BBQ & Grill

Managing partner Kelli Scott calls RoRo’s opening in the squat diner occupied for 63 years by Zesto’s Burger & Fish House a “hiccup” in the local chain’s short history. “It hasn’t been getting the greatest reviews,” she admits.

Scott and Rob Carson wanted to spin RoRo’s in a younger, more playful direction at their third location, so they initially ditched their meat platters for barbecue sandwiches and burgers. The revised concept felt like a good fit for a room furnished with red vinyl booths, Formica tables, and windows overlooking Ballard High. But loyal customers from Wallingford and Georgetown “freaked out,” Scott recalls. “People were being very harsh.”

The menu’s since been restored, but patrons still have ample reason to gripe.

A sauce comb-over can’t disguise the fact that the meat here is subjected to so much steaming and baking that even eaters raised on Indian pudding and Boston baked beans wouldn’t recognize it as barbecue.

Pork ribs are a travesty of overcooking, with the bones falling from the flesh like tired feet slipping out of shoes. Sliced brisket the color of sweat-stained muslin runs woefully short on smoke and moisture, but might make a decent roast beef with a dollop of horseradish. Chicken burdened by a cumin-heavy dry rub is similarly shafted by context: Were the thighs served on baked-chicken day at a nursing-home cafeteria, they probably could spur calls for seconds.

When RoRo’s opened its first restaurant in Wallingford six years ago, its meat was smoked onsite. Now, Scott explains, the operation’s grown so big that they rent space in South Lake Union to house a massive smoking machine. “We have a gas-fired cooker that’s roughly the size of a bedroom,” she says.

“We don’t smoke it as long as, for instance, in Texas, but the smoke permeates the meat.”

After the meat completes its stay in the smoker, it’s delivered to the restaurants in hotel pans. To reheat the meat, the restaurants add water to the pan, cover it with foil, and stick it in the oven for about 25 minutes.

The meat’s then held in steam tables.

Depending on how you count, there are at least seven significant departures from barbecue tradition in RoRo’s standard process.

Less-kind observers might call them mistakes. “We don’t really profess to be experts on barbecue,” Scott says. “We’re not trying to impress people. We’re trying to feed people the best we can afford.”

RORO BBQ & GRILL 6416 15th Ave. N.W., 783-3350, rorobbqwebs.com. 11 a.m.–10 p.m. daily.

PORK RIBS..........................................................$15.95 CHICKEN.............................................................$10.95 BEEF BRISKET SANDWICH ...........................$11.95

The Boar’s Nest

The menu at The Boar’s Nest includes a quote from noted barbecue chronicler John Shelton Reed, which speaks to the scholarship underlying this relaxed counter-service restaurant. “Southern barbecue is the closest thing we have in the U.S. to Europe’s wines and cheeses,” Reed wrote. “Drive a hundred miles and the barbecue changes.”

In acknowledgment of that diversity, owners Mike Dahm and Gabe Gagliardi have developed a series of sauces meant to salute five leading regional barbecue styles: a mustard-based sauce for South Carolina, a vinegar-based sauce for North Carolina, a tomato-based sauce for Memphis, a sweeter tomato-based sauce for Kansas City, and a spicier tomato-based sauce for Texas. Purists will point out that Texas might be better represented by an empty space in the sixpack that serves as a sauce caddy, but perhaps Dahm and Gagliardi are paying tribute to east Texas’ oft-neglected tradition of slathering meat with thick sauce.

Polyamory is usually a losing strategy at barbecue joints, but the housemade sauces bring a smattering of dignity to the practice. Fresh and focused, their dominant flavors undimmed by salt and sugar, the sauces serve as excellent accompaniments to the meat, of course, but they’re equally handy for revving up a clump of tired collards or doubling as a fry dip.

The most popular side dish at The Boar’s Nest is the fried mac-and-cheese, a novelty

At The Boar’s Nest, Dahm (left) and Gagliardi get pork shoulder right.

that could have been swiped from a tailgating show on the Food Network. Picture doughnut holes crammed with soft noodles and mild cheese. I much preferred a crisp slaw, finished with caraway seeds and cream.

My portion of sliced brisket at The Boar’s Nest was shorn of its deckle, but perhaps I’m to blame for not specifying a fatty cut.

Although the meat was rigid and dry, it sported a pretty pink smoke ring. And while pork ribs were chewy, they also had an engaging smokiness.

The pulled pork is the most accomplished of the meats on The Boar’s Nest menu. While barbecue may change every time an eater crosses a county line, pork shoulder is a near constant. At The Boar’s Nest, the thickly shredded signature is smoky and tender.

THE BOAR’S NEST 2008 N.W. 56th St., 973-1970, ballardbbq.com.

11 a.m.–9 p.m. Mon.–Fri., noon–8 p.m. Sat.–Sun. PULLED PORK .........................................................$12 BEEF BRISKET ........................................................$12 HALF-SLAB RIBS ...................................................$15

Bitterroot

Unlike its fellow new barbecue practitioners, Bitterroot is a sit-down restaurant with an ambitious cocktail list. With its wire lattice chairs, silver-topped tables, and wood-paneled walls, the restaurant looks as if it could be serving nettle gnocchi or sustainable sushi.

Instead, it serves meats smoked over Washington-grown apple wood. And because it’s not unheard-of for an enthusiastic Seattle eater to have a vegetarian friend, Bitterroot has an extensive menu of plant-based items too.

There are grits and Brussels sprouts and what would amount to a mac-and-cheese bar if a bride requested it for her wedding reception: Diners can customize their thinly sauced, al dente elbow noodles with eight

Seattle weekly • M AY 30–Ju n e 5, 2012

RoRo is “not trying to impress people.”

To that end, it succeeds.

sentient eater would instantly dismiss. In the spirit of the pig who had the foresight to build his home with sticks, The Boar’s Nest is doing nearly everything right—there’s Shiner and RC Cola in the cooler, for instance—but its barbecue doesn’t always hold up.

Bitterroot isn’t flawless, but pitmaster Grant Carter has made impressive strides in areas that reliably stump beginning cooks. The guy can smoke a brisket. At Bitterroot, Carter and his wife, Hannah, have built a strong foundation for Seattle barbecue. Here, we strut through the newest arrivals to Ballard’s barbecue game:

JOSHUA HUSTON

S

hould Seattleites be permitted to smoke meat?

It’s generally assumed that because barbecue is what Mom serves before the apple pie, any red-blooded American has the right to fire up a cooker and sell the results. But the bulk of self-appointed pitmasters around Puget Sound so baldly denigrate the slow-and-low tradition with their microwave ovens and tinfoil that it’s astounding they haven’t yet been slapped with accusations of cultural misappropriation. Allow me.

Pacific Northwest–born restaurateurs who wouldn’t dare stake their reputations on precise replicas of Syrian shawarma or Salvadoran pupusas have no compunctions about mimicking Southern icons. Although the Northwest is home to its own barbecue heritage, involving salmon and wooden frames, the preponderance of hush puppies and slaw on side-dish menus makes clear the target of their culinary minstrelsy. The rip-off might work if local cooks were manufacturing deliciousness or imaginatively improving upon what barbecue fogies would consider “authentic.” Instead, they’re prone to rush pork shoulders out of the smoker and slather tough briskets with thick, sugary sauces that dishonor generations of folk cooks who fed their communities by chopping wood, hoisting whole hogs, and trading sleep for nights spent tending open flames. Worse still, little of it tastes very good.

A trio of new barbecue joints in Ballard is now trying to correct Seattle’s embittered smoked-meat situation. Over the span of a few months this spring, RoRo BBQ & Grill,

BY HANNA RASKIN

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 31 29

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food&drink» Smoke and Mirrors » FROM PAGE 29 different fixings, including braised greens and English peas. Our order was sadly undercheesed and came with the wrong toppings, but the concept’s smart.

Grant Carter smokes “a near-perfect” brisket for Bitterroot patrons.

Other toppings come straight from the smoker, including jalapeños and bacon lardons. Grant Carter cooked on a small backyard smoker when he was a caterer, and says it took “a lot of trial and error” to adjust to his commercial Old Hickory unit. “It was quite a process,” he says. “But I’m really enjoying the brisket right now, because we’ve got it pretty dialed-in.”

Carter smokes a near-textbook brisket, leaving it in the smoker a full 18 hours to

LIVE! PACIFIC OYSTERS! absorb its many blessings. The well-seasoned beef has a fine crust and appealing pockets of flavorful fat. It’s by far the best meat on the sampler platter, which also includes a chicken that tastes mostly of its citric brine; dry, cottony pulled pork; and ribs that needed a more exacting trim. Bitterroot also serves a slightly bitter sausage and a wonderfully rich pork belly that shudders with smoke.

The brisket and pork belly may be the most legitimate excuses for venturing beyond the starters menu, which features a party tray of pulled-pork nachos agreeably slammed with a sweet, tomato-based sauce (an eye-rubbing bargain at $9), mustardy deviled eggs, and Buffalo chicken livers that should make every chicken-wing joint rethink its business plan. The subtly breaded livers—which should be ordered only if your tablemates are generous and good, since there’s bound to be an apportioning dispute— blend offal butteriness with heat to winning effect. It’s not smoked, and it’s not exactly Southern, but it’s terrific. E BITTERROOT 5239 Ballard Ave. N.W., 588-1577, bitterrootbbq.com. 11 a.m.–2 a.m. daily.

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The Watering Hole: Cutters Crabhouse, 2001 Western Ave., 448-4884, PIKE PLACE MARKET The Atmosphere: What used to be the outdated Cutters Bayhouse is now Cutters Crabhouse, a renovated, modern restaurant perfectly suited for the throngs of tourists and nearby condo dwellers who just can’t get enough of the view. Not only are the restaurant and bar updated, the wall separating the two has been knocked down. The absence of the divider that once blocked those perched on a stool, minding their own drink, from a 180-degree perspective of Elliott Bay is an absolute gamechanger—and you’ll want to play.

The Barkeep: Thanh-Mai (tuh-MY) Leck.

People call her “T.” She works the lunch shift, but if you get there in time for happy hour, you’ll probably catch her before she leaves at 4 p.m.

With her incredible smile and easygoing nature, she’s easy to spot. She’s been at Cutters since before they relaunched on April 11. “I came with the renovation,” she says.

She’s also happy to be on dry land. “I was a part of the Argosy cruises for eight years,” says Leck, who found the Cutters opportunity online and was hired immediately. “I did everything there except be the captain. I was the wedding coordinator, supervisor, bartender, server, deck crew.

I’d help set up the boat for dinner cruises—wash the windows, scrub the deck, tie up the line, get

JULIEN PERRY

Seattle weekly • M AY 30– June 5, 2012

The Capitol Hill restaurant Barrio is promoting its upcoming jalapeño-eating contest with the tagline “Can you handle the heat?”

But it might be more accurate to ask “Can you handle the subdued heat?”

Breaking with competitive chileeating tradition, Barrio is serving grilled peppers at its June 9 event.

Jalapeños are typically presented pickled or raw: At the Deming-Luna County (N.M.) Chamber of Commerce annual Cinco de Mayo jalapeño contest, each contestant receives a two-pound pile of pickled peppers and two minutes to polish off as many as possible. “There’s no cooking involved,” Chamber office manager Julie Mendez says. “They’re right out of the can.”

David Yusen, director of marketing for Barrio’s parent company, Heavy Restaurant Group, concedes that cooked jalapeños are likely to be easier on the palate than fresh peppers. “Raw jalapeños are going to be hotter, but we wanted to find that balance of still delivering heat while at the same time not simply putting out a plate of raw jalapeños,” Yusen says. “We wanted to dress them up a bit. That being said, they will simply have a nice, quick char on them, and we are confident

Just Your Leck

EAT, DRINK, MUSIC, DANCE!

32

Not So Hot

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» by hanna raskin

they will still be able to pack a punch.”

According to Autumn Martinez of New Mexico State University’s Chile Pepper Institute, grilling peppers shouldn’t chemically alter the capsaicin that registers as heat on the human tongue. But cooking peppers activates flavors that help dilute the painful sensation of ingesting pure capsaicin.

“Raw probably would be hotter,” she says.

Martinez advises prospective competitors to practice beforehand. “That way they’re not surprised or blistered,” she says. She also reminds pepper eaters not to hurt their chances by drinking water between bites, which only spreads the burn. But Mendez says her organization issues a bottle of water to every contestant. “I believe they needed the water,” Mendez says. “They were really hot.”

Barrio’s contest is staged in conjunction with the restaurant’s fifth “Heat Week,” which also features a spicy menu and a cocktail made with ghost chile tequila and Hellfire bitters. Chile fans interested in entering the jalapeño-eating contest should e-mail barriocaphill@barriorestaurant. com by June 2; the winner will receive a tequilapaired dinner for four. E

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it ready for the guests to come aboard. Then I’d put on my little penguin suit and wait the tables or whatever my assignment was that day.”

The Drink: Basil Gimlet. One of Cutters’ most popular cocktails during happy hour, it’s a muddled combo of Hendrick’s gin, basil, mint sprigs, and homemade lime sour with a splash of simple syrup.

The Verdict: It’s very light and refreshing, perfect for the 65-degree weather that day. I happen to like semisweet cocktails, so I enjoyed it. But when your drink is as pretty as this Basil Gimlet and served by someone as charming as Leck, it doesn’t really matter. E food@seattleweekly.com

music»

presents at

DIMITRIOU’S

Loud and Proud

Brandi Carlile can’t tone things down, whether singing or promoting gay marriage.

BY CONOR CHRISTOFFERSON

B

“Everything I know about what it takes to get someone to stop what they’re doing and listen to you, I learned while busking at Pike Place.”

Visit us Online!

S

ince the early days, the trio has spent the lion’s share of its time on the road, packing in as many as 180 shows per year in support of three studio albums and a live recording. It’s a career that not everyone is cut out for, and Carlile has struggled to find a balance between life on the road and life at home.

She remembers one moment when the pain of being away from her family was almost too much to take. “I woke up on the road and I was upset and didn’t want to be there,” she says. “I missed my mom and dad. All my brothers and sisters were having kids, and I just realized that I’d become really good at being Brandi Carlile and not as good at being just Brandi.”

It’s an ongoing process, but Carlile believes she’s finally figuring it out, finding that sweet spot where the famous singer and “just Brandi” can peacefully coexist. She now brings her parents, siblings, and partner on the road whenever she can, and she takes some of the road home with her when a tour is over.

To that end, Brandi, Phil, and Tim decided to stay closer to home to make their latest album, Bear Creek, named in honor of the Woodinville studio where it was recorded.

Until Bear Creek, all the band’s studio albums had been recorded with help from superproducers T Bone Burnett and Rick Rubin, two music-industry giants who have molded the sounds of rock royalty like Roy Orbison, Elton John, and Johnny Cash.

Few artists ever get the chance to work with producers of that caliber, but talented people seem to be drawn to Carlile: She and the Hanseroths have recorded or played with the likes of Dave Matthews, Sheryl Crow, and Red Hot Chili Peppers drummer Chad Smith.

“Brandi and the twins made me feel like a part of the band,” Smith says. “They came to my house and we jammed on her songs and I was free to come up with ideas. They were really open to my creative input. I got to play some really subtle, quiet things on her record that I don’t normally do.”

Carlile has nothing but nice things to say about all her famous collaborators, but leaving them behind this time gave her and the twins more freedom. “It’s not because [Burnett and Rubin] are dictators or they’re in this ominous role. It’s purely out of reverence,” she says of her reluctance to experiment in front of the greats. “It’s like I don’t want to try this lame thing in front of you, because I suck and you’re awesome.”

Everyone involved in the process says Bear Creek is their favorite album, but that doesn’t mean Carlile isn’t feeling some anxiety

Pearl Django

Seattle’s Favorite Gypsy Jazz Quintet Celebrate Their New Release “Eleven” May 30

Shemekia Copeland

Carlile considers DOMA “a civil-rights violation.”

leading up to its June 5 release. “I’m really nervous about this one, because on all three of our albums we’ve had either Rick Rubin or T Bone to stand behind,” she said. “This one is just us, so if people don’t like it, that means that people don’t like what we’ve decided to do on our own for the first time.”

R

avensdale and Seattle are only 30 miles apart, but the cultural gulf is much greater. When Carlile came out at 14, she did so without ever having met another gay person.

At the time there were few political figures she could look to for guidance, so she drew strength and inspiration from the entertainment industry, taking Ellen DeGeneres, Elton John, and the Indigo Girls—whom she’s since had the pleasure of playing with—as examples of how her life could be.

Gay teenagers today have a deeper well of role models to draw from, but nothing’s quite like having the president on your side: Carlile wept when President Obama recently said his opinion on gay marriage had “evolved” to the point where he personally endorsed it.

Obama’s conversion will help, but Carlile says there’s still work to be done. “The federal gay-marriage ban, DOMA, is a civil-rights violation,” she says. “There are people who are dying alone because of it, they’re losing their houses, they’re experiencing exile from their families. It’s a proper, true-blue civil-rights violation that needs to be addressed at the federal level and the state level.” E music@seattleweekly.com BEAR CREEK (Columbia) Available at record stores everywhere June 5.

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Seattle weekly • M AY 30–Ju n e 5, 2012

still be shaking hours later. As a teenager she moved on to Seattle bars and coffeehouses, where she would perform as often as six nights a week.

But it was on the streets, more than a decade ago, where Carlile truly honed her craft.

“Everything I know about what it takes to get someone to stop what they’re doing and listen to you, I learned while busking at Pike Place,” she says. “Learning how to make someone physically stop their body and watch you play when they need to be somewhere else is what, years later, will be the thing that sets you apart in theaters.”

Carlile’s intense performances have at times been a concern for her bandmates and co-songwriters, Phil and Tim Hanseroth. The twin brothers have been with Carlile for the better part of a decade, and the trio has become inseparable. “I remember thinking ‘Wow, she sings too loud,’ ” Tim says with a chuckle. “It’s just a very powerful and awesome voice.”

Even today, during performances, Phil can spot the audience members hearing her

2033 6th Avenue (206) 441-9729 j a z z a l l e y. c o m

live for the first time. “I can see that on people’s faces from the stage,” he says.

“Their mouths are open and they’re kind of in awe.”

COURTESY BIG HASSLE

randi Carlile sings too hard.

She can’t help it. It’s involuntary— a muscle memory that forces her to test the limits of her powerful voice until it bends and cracks, but never breaks. It doesn’t matter if she’s busking at Pike Place Market to an audience of befuddled German tourists or singing “Folsom Prison Blues” to President Obama on the White House lawn: Every time the petite 30-year-old opens her mouth to belt out a note, it’s as if she has inside knowledge that it will be her last performance, and by God she’s going to make it count.

“I’ve never learned how to gauge the importance of things,” Carlile says. “If I have a performance ahead of me, it doesn’t matter if I’m standing on a sidewalk and there’s 10 people there or I’m at Benaroya Hall and there’s 2,500 people.”

From some singers that might sound like humblebrag, but when Carlile says it, it comes off as a legitimate concern. In fact, on more than one occasion she’s nearly blown out her voice singing to a handful of fans at a recordstore appearance just hours before playing a much larger—and lucrative—venue.

This mysterious blessing—desperately wanting to please audiences of every size— has always been part of Carlile. Even as a kid, singing in church in her tiny hometown of Ravensdale, Wash., she’d give so much of herself in a performance that her hands would

33

music»B-sides »pop quiz

Hippie or Hipster?

dinner & show

Sasquatch!

Folklife

Can you tell the Sasquatch! scenesters from the Folklife hippies? See seattleweekly.com/reverb to test your skills. pHotos by Renee McMaHon and cHantal andRea Sasquatch!

Folklife

WED/MAY 30 • 8PM

jon mclaughlin w/ bob stamper THU/MAY 31 • 7:30PM

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dana gould, cathy sorbo, david crowe, lee callahan;

Seattle weekly • M AY 30– June 5, 2012

jakael tristram trio

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next • 6/3 michael tomlinson • 6/4 & 6/5 bob schneider w/ laura warshauer • 6/6 & 6/7 led kaapana / mike kaawa • 6/8 i’m now - mudhoney documentary

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35

music»TheShortList Ray Wylie Hubbard THURSDAY, MAY 31

5213 Ballard Ave. N.W., 789-3599. 8 p.m. $15.

MA’CHELL DUMA LAVASSAR

Destroyer SUNDAY, JUNE 3

Destroyer’s Dan Bejar has long been an indie rocker with poetic/literary scope. Lately, as of his most recent album Kaputt (2011), he has also taken on an odd new persona: not a neo-folksinger or indie-rock bandleader, but a reclining soft-rocker. The album—easily one

TED BOIS

Hubbard’s career, begun in 1965, has seen him fly outside the mainstream spotlight that’s illuminated his Lone Star contemporaries like Willie, Waylon, and Jerry Jeff. This may have more to do with his subject matter than anything else. Hubbard takes his cues from Muddy Waters, not Hank Williams, and everything he writes about—from his frequent unapologetic exhalations on the virtues of unstable women to topics like tornadoes ripping down farm shanties—are not only intensely compelling but oddly sexy. The man is a master painter,

The fiery Dan Bejar.

for whom the blues is a canvas and his palette the creepy, Jesus-drenched underbelly of Texas’ feel-good music scene. Tractor Tavern,

of his very best—is full of foamy, spraying synthesizer pads, bright but rounded guitar textures, and, yes, saxophone solos. And although Bejar’s lyrics can be self-deprecating and sharp, there’s nothing ironic in this pointedly mellowed musical atmosphere—it’s all done smartly, without winking, and it works. The title track’s cautionary character— chasing cocaine and girls “through the backrooms of the world all night”—could hardly exist on any other soundtrack. With Nurses.

Showbox at the Market, 1426 First Ave., 628-3151. 7 p.m. $18 adv./$20 DOS. All ages.

ERIC GRANDY

Welcome to Doe Bay

36

Here’s a new SIFF documentary about the one percent: the connected and/or savvy music fans who know how to procure tickets to an intimate music festival at a resort in the San Juans that sells out in less time than it’ll take you to read this review. In chronicling the annual multiday festival on Orcas Island, local filmmakers Nesib Shamah and Dan Thornton provide a respectable primer of our Northwest music scene: the mix of rock, folk, and hip-hop acts that swim together (and are

*

Egyptian, 805 E. Pine St., siff.net.

9:30 p.m. $11. Repeats at SIFF Cinema Uptown, 9:30 p.m. Tues., June 5. The filmmakers will attend both screenings. CHRIS KORNELIS

Jason Molina Tribute TUESDAY, JUNE 5

Since 2009, singer/songwriter Jason Molina, of Magnolia Electric Co. and Songs: Ohia, has been “in and out of rehab facilities and hospitals in England, Chicago, Indianapolis, and New Orleans,” according to his label Secretly Canadian, which posted the news in a solicitation for help with his medical funds. (He’s currently “working on a farm in West Virginia raising goats and chickens for the next year or so, and is looking forward to making great music again.”) You can take this story a variety of ways: as a testament to the link between sad songs and real-life depression; as an example of the failure of our nation’s healthcare system and the music industry’s meager safety nets; as an individual tragedy. In any case, tonight’s show features some fine Seattle musicians raising awareness for Molina and paying tribute to his songs. With Pickwick, Jason Dodson, Cataldo, Lotte Kestner, Ben Fisher, Alexandra Niedzialkowski (Cumulus), Song Sparrow Research, Alex Jones (Keaton Collective), Trever Hadley. Barboza, 925 E. Pike St., 709-9467. 8 p.m. $8. ERIC GRANDY

EDITOR’S PICK

LEARNING TEAM WEDNESDAY, MAY 30

This pop-rock quintet, one of Bellingham’s most notable current players, has released three FreePs via Bandcamp since their inception in 2011, the most recent being this March’s Daypack. The five-track EP contains such tasty offerings as “Oreo” and “Iced Coffee,” sweet and appealingly pleasant songs driven by strumming guitars and humming vocals. The band’s frontman, Emile Panerio, is a lovely vocalist—his easy singing style reflects youth and sharp perceptions best heard on Daypack’s standout track, “MLK,” an atmospheric coalescence of tranquilizing rhythms and swirling strings. Good summer vibes all around. With The Royal Sea, The Underwater Tiger. Neumos, 925 E. Pike St., 709-9467. 8 p.m. $8. ERIN K. THOMPSON

COLE CRAMER

Seattle weekly • M AY 30– June 5, 2012

SUNDAY, JUNE 3

unendingly impressed with themselves for doing so). Inadvertently, the directors also capture the selfrighteousness and exclusive spirit that exists in pockets of that scene.

That’s the fest’s biggest selling point: All those other people aren’t here.

“If you do provide for more people,” according to Doe Bay organizer Kevin Sur, “you ruin the experience.”

This is a doc about how good it feels for a select group of people to celebrate their tribe without the hassle of the unsophisticated masses and the Budweiser signage they attract.

“I’d rather be heard authentically by 100 people,” says one musician, “than inauthentically heard by 10,000 people.” The message is clear: This is the real experience, these are the real people, and everything else is just a bloated orgy of massmarket beer and MySpace hot dogs.

Seattle weekly • M AY 30–Ju n e 5, 2012

37

Wednesday, May 30 CASCADIA ’10 This Northwest Afrobeat group

(its Facebook page jokingly lists its hometown as “Lagos, Washington”) specializes in meandering, instrumental jams. With Julia and The Dream. Sunset Tavern, 5433 Ballard Ave. N.W., 784-4880, sunsettavern. com. 9:30 p.m. $6.

DESTRUCTION These German metal lords are wreaking havoc in support of their newest album, last year’s Day of Reckoning. Be prepared to thrash your ass off. With Warbringer, Vital Remains, Coven, Beneath All Kaos, Reficul. Studio Seven, 110 S. Horton St., 286-1312, studio seven.us. 6 p.m. $17 adv./ $20 DOS. All ages.

SCAN T H I S CO D E

IAN MOORE & THE LOSSY COILS On his latest

release El Sonido Nuevo, this Austin songwriter showcases his unique ability to apply SEATTLE WEEKLY ’60s-inspired pop hooks to IPHONE/ANDROID APP the traditional alternativeFOR MORE CONCERTS OR VISIT country format. With Wheeler seattleweekly.com Brothers, Redwood Son. Tractor Tavern, 5213 Ballard Ave. N.W., 789-3599, tractortavern.com. 8:30 p.m. $10.

SEATTLE UNIVERSITY BOTB SHOWCASE Redhawk bands duke it out to see who’s the best Seattle U has to offer. With Karl Sundin, U-Crew, Br’er Sun. Chop Suey, 1325 E. Madison St., 324-8005, chopsuey.com. $8 adv./ $5 with SU ID. All ages.

Seattle weekly • M AY 30– June 5, 2012

TO DOWNLOAD THE FREE

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Thursday, May 31 BO$$ FAM This party-rap crew celebrates the release

of a collaboration with fellow local hip-hop group Boombox Massacre. With Second Family, Awall, PETA Tosh. High Dive, 513 N. 36th St., 632-0212, highdive seattle.com. 9 p.m. $8.

ILLMACULATE A fixture of the Portland underground hiphop scene, this rapper and Sandpeople member recently released Skrill Talk, his first non-mixtape full-length. With Cool Nutz, Mikey Vegaz. Nectar, 412 N. 36th St., 632-2020, nectarlounge.com. 8 p.m. $7.

KAY KAY AND HIS WEATHERED UNDERGROUND

This carnivalesque indie-rock ensemble takes to Barboza to cram an entire psychedelic circus onto a very small stage. With Sounds Major. Barboza, 925 E. Pike St., 709-9467. 8 p.m. $10.

Friday, June 1 DECEPTION PAST This old-school country group’s per-

formance is part of the ever-expanding Noise for the

Needy lineup. With Legendary Oaks, Ole Tinder, Keaton Collective. Comet Tavern, 922 E. Pike St., 322-9272, comettavern.com. 9 p.m. $8.

HOLIDAY FRIENDS Playfully folksy, harmony-laden pop from Moscow, Idaho. With Ascetic Junkies, Simon Kornelis. The Rogue & Peasant, 3601 Fremont Ave. N., therogueandpeasant.com. 9 p.m. $5.

MT. ST. HELENS VIETNAM BAND This show marks the release of MSHVB’s Prehistory EP, the band’s first release since 2010. With Wintersleep, You Are Plural.

Columbia City Theater, 4918 Rainier Ave. S., 723-0088, columbiacitytheater.com. 9 p.m. $10 adv./$12 DOS.

Saturday, June 2

County hits Seattle tonight, and one can only hope they come clad in their signature black-and-yellow attire ready to throw Bibles into the crowd, as they have since 1984. El Corazon, 109 Eastlake Ave. E., 381-3094, elcorazon seattle.com. 8 p.m. $27.50 adv./$30 DOS. All ages.

Monday, June 4 CLUBSCOUTS On Fathers Against Blue Tigers, they meld

garage-rock tendencies with pop hooks. With Creech, The Cyprus Experiment. The Crocodile. 7 p.m. $5. All ages.

MOUNTLAKE TERRACE HIGH SCHOOL JAZZ ENSEMBLES Mountlake Terrace boasts one of the

nation’s best high-school jazz programs, and its top band recently played the prestigious Essentially Ellington competition at New York’s Lincoln Center. Jazz Alley, 2033 Sixth Ave., 441-9729, jazzalley.com. $20. 7:30 p.m. All ages.

THE MAINE Once I got a tube of Chapstick with a The

Maine sticker on it as a promotional item. They are apparently five guys with haircuts, unchapped lips, and, I guess, a band. With Lydia, the Arkells. Showbox at the Market, 1426 First Ave., 628-3151, showboxonline.com.

6 p.m. $20 adv./$25 DOS. All ages.

MICO DE NOCHE Active since 2001, this local four-piece plays brutally sludgy stoner metal. With Smooth Sailing, Grenades, Princess. Comet Tavern. 9 p.m. $8.

SIDE SADDLE Dolly Parton, Loretta Lynn, and other country superstars of years past are the inspiration for this diva-centric honky-tonk group. With the Outlaws, Shane Tutmarc, Country Lips. Columbia City Theater. 9 p.m. $8.

THE THERMALS The Northwest’s favorite pop-punkers, whose most recent release was 2010’s Personal Life LP, headline this sure-to-be-popular Noise for the Needy Benefit. With Little Cuts. Neumos, 925 E. Pike St., 709-9467, neumos.com. 8 p.m. $13.

THE TORN ACLS Nondescriptly catchy indie pop is this local group’s specialty on January’s Make a Break, Make a Move. With The World Radiant, Jeff Waggoner.

The Rogue & Peasant. 9 p.m. $5.

THE VALLEY This punk show is a KEXP Audioasis benefit for something decidedly less aggro: the Seattle Digital Literacy Initiative. With Police Teeth, Dude York. Sunset Tavern. 10 p.m. $7 adv./$8 DOS.

Sunday, June 3 DAUGHTRY Fronted by American Idol fourth-place

finisher Chris Daughtry, this band’s latest is 2011’s Break the Spell. With SafetySuit, Mike Sanchez.

The Paramount, 911 Pine St., 467-5520, stgpresents.org.

7:30 p.m. $30.75–$50.75. All ages.

PIANO PIANO This experimental-rock trio’s only recording is an untitled three-song live demo whose expansiveness and intricacy recalls a heavier version of postrock. With X Suns, They Rise We Die. The Crocodile, 2200 Second Ave., 441-7416, thecrocodile.com. 8 p.m. $5. All ages.

PROUD WONDERFUL ME This recently formed four-piece plays straight-ahead indie pop. With Lanford Black. Nectar. 7 p.m. $5.

STRYPER The Christian glam-metal band from Orange

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EX-GIRLFRIENDS Vicious, raucous garage-punk with an

Iggy Pop influence (check out “Superqueen” on their Bandcamp site) and some serious manpower (seven members). With Danny the Street, Sweet Pups. Chop Suey. 8 p.m. Free.

FREDDY COLE QUARTET Cole, a Grammy-nominated vocalist and pianist and brother of Nat King Cole, released Talk to Me last year. Jazz Alley. 7:30 p.m. $24.50. All ages.

STRONG KILLINGS Sound on the Sound named this band’s self-titled debut the best local punk record of 2011. With The Volume, Choirs. High Dive. 8 p.m. $6.

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music»Through @ 2 Charity Case How Greg Garcia organized a festival in 30 days.

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THE SITUATION I’m at Hattie’s Hat in Ballard sitting across from Greg Garcia and an expanding collection of empty Budweiser bottles. Garcia, 34, is the Tractor Tavern’s booker; his past jobs include stints booking shows at Chop Suey, High Dive, and the now-defunct Irish Emigrant. This year, he adds Noise for the Needy to his resume. He booked the annual charity festival— about 70 bands over five days—in a little over a month.

HOW HE GOT HERE Michelle Smith, fondly known as Mamma Casserole, had booked NFTN for the past six years, but this year she was too busy, so the festival’s organizers asked Garcia to step in. “I should’ve started booking this in January, and I started in mid-March,” he says.

A lot of local bands were already committed to Sasquatch! or Block Party. Things got so hectic he almost considered calling off the festival, but he managed to pull in a number of out-of-town bands—the Thermals, The Duke Spirit—and an impressive local lineup, most of whom are playing for free.

SHOP TALK Last year, NFTN raised $23,000 for Real Change; Garcia hopes to top that. This year’s beneficiary is the Seattle Community Law Center: “They help people with mental issues that probably couldn’t afford legal help,” says Garcia. “It’s awesome to be able to help them out. They’re really excited to just have someone paying

NIKKI BENSON

BY ERIN K. THOMPSON

attention to them.” Garcia plans to attend as many shows as humanly possible. “I’m gonna be running around like a mad person,” he says. He’s most excited for the Tractor’s June 1 show with Oklahoma country singer JD McPherson and the massive metal showdown June 9 at Belltown’s Underground Events Center. “It’s gonna be loud as fuck in that place,” he says.

BTW This is his first year on the job, but Garcia, a Seattle native, has been attending NFTN shows for years. I ask him about his favorite NFTN memory.

Instead he recalls last year at the Tractor when Tiny Vipers walked off the stage because the audience was being too chatty. “I got it. People weren’t paying attention. She just walked offstage.” Um, awkward?

“It wasn’t my favorite memory, it was one of my most awkward memories,” he laughs. “I’m hoping this year to have some really awesome memories from doing this.

It’s my little baby project!” E ethompson@seattleweekly.com

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Loose Trim

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olumbia City Holistic Health is a laid-back, down-to-earth medical-marijuana access point in south Seattle with two major selling points from the get-go: All its flowers are organically grown, and everything goes for a uniform donation of $10 a gram—a real buy for top-shelf meds.

I was fortunate enough to be the only patient when I showed up, but since CCHH only allows one patient at a time (or two, if they come together) in the bud room, you could wait a few minutes if someone gets there right before you. Budtender Nate showed me about a dozen strains of cannabis flowers, approximately four each of indicas, sativas, and hybrids. Asked for his recommendations on a sativa and an indica, Nate guided me toward Blue Dream

Strains were specifically bred to minimize smell so as to avoid unwelcome law-enforcement attention. for a daytime sativa smoke when functionality is needed, and toward local strain UW Purp for a nighttime indica known for pain control and rest.

The Blue Dream, while possessing the signature aroma of a strain which rates among the West Coast’s most popular, had a slightly shaggier trim than usual—that is, a few more sugar leaves were left on the flowers and the nugs weren’t as tightly formed as with most Blue Dream. While a loose trim (also known as a “medical trim,”

x

since the additional plant material left on has plenty of beneficial cannabinoids) isn’t a problem for me, I do know that some patients seem to have issues with sugar leaves, even though they are in many cases just as trichome-rich and potent as the calyxes next to them (the parts of the flower which would hold seeds if medical cannabis were seeded).

Of course, some patients have gotten so used to flowers that have been not only tightly trimmed, but also kiefed—shaken and agitated to dislodge some of the THC glands (trichomes), and then sold for $15–$20 a gram instead of $10—that they think un-kiefed buds look “loose.” So that’s the good thing about a loose trim, boys and girls: When you see lots of sparkly, undamaged sugar leaves on dispensary buds, you know those buds haven’t had their potency reduced by kiefing.

Then there was the UW Purp, which according to legend was developed specifically for medicinal applications by personnel very unofficially “associated with” the University of Washington Medical School.

UW Purp’s flowers are visually stunning, with gorgeous purple streaks highlighting the emerald green, trichome-rich calyxes.

Purp’s smell is surprisingly subtle, especially for an indica dominant. But one local expert familiar with the history told me that when Purp was originally developed (in the late 1980s, before medical legalization), strains were specifically bred to minimize smell so as to avoid unwelcome law-enforcement attention. E

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Dear Dategirl, I had been dating a guy I met online who told me that his wife died when their daughter was still an infant. He also told me he owned several international companies, which is why he needed a few different cell phones that rang and got texts at all hours.

So cut to the truth. I discover that his wife is alive and he lives with her when not spending the night at my house. His daughter is married and has her own child, so he’s actually a grandfather. He has a selection of homemade driver’s licenses under assumed names that say he’s much younger than he is. They also list his false address.

After finding all this out, I feel like I’ve dodged a bullet from some narcissistic misogynist. Part of me wonders what Internet dating has done to our culture. This guy actually had the nerve to call me a stalker when I peeked into his wallet after seeing him pull his real driver’s license out from behind a stack of fake ones! How do I warn other women that guys like this exist? I can’t imagine the amount of time and effort that has gone into keeping up with his many lies. And I haven’t even shared half of the bullshit he shared! Do I background-check everyone now?

—Shaking Her Head, Laughing

People are always quick to blame online dating for the proliferation of liars, scammers, and cads, but the fact is, people were dirtbags long before computers were even a glimmer in whoever-invented-computers’ eye. I mean, word on the street is that adultery is even in the Bible, and that shit is old.

So yeah, while JDate, OkCupid, and Match may make it easier for ne’er-do-wells to locate new marks, the Internet also makes it easier to bust a creep. Take my friend Ellen (not her real name). She got a weird vibe

from a guy she went out with, and in a few clicks found out he was on the sex-offender registry. Imagine if it had been 1950? She might’ve wound up at the bottom of a ditch, or worse, married to the dirtbag.

There are sites where you can warn other women, like DontDateHimGirl.com—but hey, I just typed in the names of three of the biggest scumbags on the planet and they came up blank, so what’s the point? You could alert the site that introduced you that he’s actually married, but I wouldn’t expect much satisfaction from them either. I mean, married people using online dating services to hook up with affair partners is hardly uncharted territory.

What you should do is focus on the positives. A recent study (OK, conducted by a firm hired by Match.com) found out that one in five new relationships begins online. There are also (differing) figures on how many marriages are the product of online dating, but since most of these studies are sponsored by dating sites, you can take them with a grain of salt.

However, you can take all the weddings of people who met online I’ve gone to (many!) as sodium-free evidence.

So don’t give up on the love—even the variety you seek online—and try not to let one heel turn you into a paranoid super-sleuth.

Use your common sense and trust your gut, and if those two seem to be sending mixed messages, you might want to reconsider whom you’re dating. Or, you know, run a background check. E dategirl@seattleweekly.com WANT MORE? Listen to Judy on The Mike & Judy Show on the Heritage Radio Network, follow her tweets @DailyDategirl, or visit dategirl.net.

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PLACE YOUR AD TODAY • 206-623-6231

500 Services

600 Music

510 515 520 525 527 530 535 536 537 540

605 610 615 620 625

Bus Services Computer Services Financial Services Legal Services Legal Notices Misc. Services Personal Services Childcare Adoptions Travel/Getaways

530 Misc. Services WANTS TO purchase minerals and other oil & gas interests.

Send details to P.O. Box 13557, Denver, Co 80201

533 Home Services

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615 Music Instruction

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400 Buy-Sell-Trade 410 412 415 423 425 430 431 432 433 435 436 437 440 445 450 455 460 470 475

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Seattle weekly • M AY 30– June 5, 2012

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167 Restaurants/Hotels/Clubs

SOUP DADDY SOUPS 102 103 105 110 112 120 125 127 140 145 150 155 160 167 170 172 175 177 180 183 185 187 190 193 195 198 130

Architecture/Engineering Auditions/Show Biz Career/Training/Schools Computer/Technical Construction/Labor Drivers/Delivery/Courier Domestic Education Financial/Accounting Management/Professional Medical/Dental/Health Medical Research Studies Office/Clerical Restaurants/Hotels/Clubs Retail Sales and Marketing Telemarketing/Call Center Salons Security/Law Enforcement Trades Miscellaneous Part-Time Jobs Business Opportunities Employment Information Position Wanted Non-Profit Entertainment

110 Computer/Technical As the world leader in next generation mobile technologies, Qualcomm is focused on accelerating mobility around the world. Qualcomm Innovation Center, Inc., a wholly owned subsidiary of Qualcomm, has the following positions available in Seattle, WA: Senior Software Engineer/ Wireless: Proficiency in C or C++ programming; and Wireless Communications or related req’d (FR-BVM01-P) Multiple openings avail.

Mail resume w/job code to Qualcomm Incorporated, P.O. Box 919013, San Diego, CA, 92191-9013. EOE

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300 Rentals 305 307 310 315 320 330 340 350

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bulletin board 527 Legal Notices Cellco Partnership and its controlled affiliates doing business as Verizon Wireless is proposing to replace an existing 80-foot light pole with a new 110-foot monopole, located at 8660 SE 60th St, Mercer Island, Wa. Ancillary ground equipment will be placed within a ground vault near the base of the new tower. Any interested party wishing to submit comments regarding the effect the proposed facility may have on any historic property may do so by sending such comments to Tetra Tech, Inc. c/o Paul Bean at 19803 North Creek Parkway, Bothell, Washington 98011.

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Seattle weekly • M AY 30–Ju n e 5, 2012

To Apply: Go to www.evergreentlc.com or Call 800-684-8733 ext. 3434 or 3321 or Send resume to recruiting@evergreentlc.com

47

BACK PAGE • 206.623.6231 ®

BEAUTIFUL BRAND NEW AFFORDABLE HOUSING

Immediate occupancy. NON-Smoking building.

Studios $700 -$800/mo.

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Opportunities to meet film agents, managers, and producers; Grace Ledding, Agile Entertainment; Zach Cox Circle of Confusion; Frankie Lindquist, Scooty Woop Entertainment; Golan Ramras Hero Pictures; George Mendeluk, MKM Entertainment; workshops with screenwriters Rima Greer, Randall Jahnson, Miguel Tejada-Flores and many others, including opportunities to meet literary agents; August 3-5th, Portland, Oregon.

More info online at: www.WillametteWriters.com

WANTS TO purchase minerals and other oil & gas interests. Send details to P.O. Box 13557, Denver, Co 80201

New! Increased compensation for 1st time egg donors!

Donate Your Car, Truck or Motorcycle!

DONATE YOUR CAR! Tax Write-off/Fast Pickup Running or not. Cancer Fund Of America. (888) 269-6482

DIVORCE from $229

Get paid for giving infertile couples the chance to have a baby. Women 21-31 and in good health are encouraged to apply. Compensation up to $4,500.

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Medication study for PTSD and alcohol problems.

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The Seattle VA is looking for people ages 18 and over who have experienced trauma and have Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and also use alcohol frequently, have problems with it, and want to stop using it. Non-veterans are welcome! Study is evaluating whether an investigational medication is effective at reducing alcohol craving and use and symptoms associated with PTSD. Study takes 8 weeks. Volunteers will be paid up to $395 for participation in this study.

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Seattle weekly • M AY 30– June 5, 2012

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Debt relief agency for bankruptcy. 206-625-0460

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48

Support Big Brothers Big Sisters of Puget Sound FREE PICK UP OF MOST USED VEHICLES Tax Deductible. (206) 248-5982

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Local Performer/Teacher 206-282-2777 You're not getting out of the room until you do an accurate psychic reading. No worries - Happy Medium Jonna Rae's teaching technique she received in deep meditation has always worked on the thousands of students she's taught since 1979. You'll learn how to connect to God, or the Divine Source; your own body, to hear the wisdom it wants to share; others' minds; animals and loved ones in spirit. And don't forget she has a presentation and book signing for her autobiography, Psychic or Psychotic?

Memoirs of a Happy Medium, at the same location this Thursday, May 31st. Tickets are $65 advance and $75 on the day of the workshop. Attendance is limited. Reserve your space today through eastwestbookshop.com or call 206-523-3776. See you there! www.Jonnarae.com

Bew Ann Thai Massage

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425-746-1240

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Call Sue for more info 206-683-3783 or 206-551-7472 June 14-17, 2012

Leavenworth International Accordion Celebration

Come and enjoy lively accordion concerts/competitions in the Festhalle and FREE entertainment at the Gazebo and Grange by top local, national, and international accordionists in the Bavarian getaway town of Leavenworth. Also featured are FREE introductory accordion lessons, vendor exhibitions, workshops, and the annual Accordion Parade down Front Street! Fun for all ages. Leavenworth, WA Time: 9am-10pm 206-622-4786

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Deep tissue, Relaxing,Chinese healing massage. 425-747-2288 10Am-10Pm www.annamedicalhealthspa.com 1550 140th Avenue NE, Suite 200 Bellevue

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The Patients’ Choice Cannabis Cup Come Join The Fun!!

Live DJ Catering by Azteca

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Saturday June 2nd 8pm to Midnight Come for the Market... Stay for the Fun!!

The Northwest Cannabis Market will close at 7PM and will reopen at 8pm for the Celebration

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