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NEWS

THE DAILY WEEKLY | The latest on Washington’s marijuana laws, immigration policies, and foreclosure fighting.

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banned puppets to stripping Sarah Palin impersonators, we lift the rock that is the Tampa GOP convention to see what’ll be squirming underneath.

in back We paddle the Duwamish, mock Seattle’s rich, and raise a pint to literacy.

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news»The Daily Weekly »dispatches from our news blog

Pot Legalization’s Tipping Point

On the cusp of history, NORML’s founder calls for sanity in the I-502 debate.

W

Dan Carino

ashington, D.C., lawyer Keith Stroup founded NORML, one of the nation’s leading organizations advocating marijuana law reform, in 1970. So he’s been working this issue a long, long time. But now he’s seeing something new in Washington state. And it’s not good. “Never has an issue divided our community like 502,” he said during a debate at Hempfest last weekend, speaking about the initiative that would legalize and regulate marijuana in our state. Certainly, other initiatives have also given rise to fractiousness. Take Colorado, where eight—count ’em— eight competing legalization initiatives were filed with the state last year. (One is now with criminal records were recently charged on the November ballot.) But Stroup says the in Western Washington federal court and will level of animosity he’s seen in this state tops soon be kicked out of the country. Does this Colorado, as well as Oregon, which also has a mean we’ve finally struck a balance in regard legalization initiative on the ballot. to immigration enforcement? In an interview with Seattle Weekly, Stroup The new program is modeled after the partly blames the infighting on I-502 oppoDREAM Act, a measure stalled in Congress nents, some of whom he calls “kind of crude.” that proposes granting permanent residency He says one anti-502 crusader even threatened to high school graduates or military veterans to bring a gun to a meeting a few days ago. brought to the U.S. as children. President But Stroup also recognizes that some oppoObama took action on his own in June and nents have legitimate concerns, most notably announced that the same demographic will the provision in I-502 that sets a new standard now qualify for work authorization and a for marijuana-based two-year “deferment” DUI charges. Stroup from deportation. Print is great, but if you says he also opposes The initiative has want to see the top 20 . . . that provision. In spite its flaws. First and GIFs from Hempfest 2012, you’ll of that, he’s come out foremost, if Obama have to check out The Daily Weekly. firmly in favor of I-502— suddenly has a change SEATTLEWEEKLY.COM/DAILYWEEKLY in large part because he of heart or loses the thinks it could win. upcoming election, “We’re at a tipping point,” he told the thousands of immigrants who applied for Hempfest crowd. “For the first time, we have reprieves will have turned over sensitive won the hearts and minds of majority of the information that the government could American public.” He points to national surpotentially use against them. Secondly, the veys showing a majority support for marijuana temporary fix means that even those who legalization. “So what is needed . . . is for one qualify (decisions will be made on a case-byor two or three states to stand up to the federal case basis) could be stuck in legal limbo in government and say ‘To hell with you.’ ” the coming years if the DREAM Act flounIn the service of that goal, he pleaded with ders in Congress. But despite the drawbacks, the crowd. “The debate in Washington state activist groups are elated at what appears to needs to be toned down a little. Let’s not be a significant step forward in immigration demonize each other.” NINA SHAPIRO policy reform. “We’re thrilled,” says Charlie McAteer, spokesman for Seattle-based OneAmerica. “It is life-changing for thousands of youths in Washington state. It means their thoughts A new program intended to shield thouand dreams of going to school and pursing a sands of young, undocumented immigrants certain career are now a reality.” from deportation, and allow them to attend Using data from the Migration Policy college and obtain better jobs, took effect last Center, OneAmerica estimates that roughly week. Meanwhile, a half-dozen immigrants

Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 22− 28, 2012

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around costly and time-consuming local 40,000 people in Washington will qualify deed-recording procedures. MERS, acting on for a deportation reprieve. That populabehalf of lenders, instead registered deeds tion ranks us in the top 10 nationwide for electronically through a centralized system. potential DREAM Act deferments. At a press conference last week, the organization shared But MERS’ involvement didn’t stop there. Somehow, the company also came to be the stories of more than 40 bright young listed as the “beneficiary” of deeds in many immigrants who will soon be applying to the states, including Washington. And when it program. came time to foreclose, MERS often initiated “This is definitely a huge step for youth the action. who came with their families pursuing the As the court opined last week, this handoff American dream,” McAteer says. “These are to MERS “has caused great concern about DREAMers who want to be accountants and possible errors in foreclosures, misrepresenlawyers and doctors and hopefully commutation, and fraud. Under the MERS system, nity organizers.” questions of authority and accountability But while the government is softening its arise, and determining who has authority policies for some, a look at the local federal court docket shows Homeland Security is still to negotiate loan modifications and who is accountable for misrepresentation and fraud vigorously targeting others for deportation. becomes extraordinarily difficult.” In just the past two weeks, multiple people Indeed, with MERS as a proxy for lenders, were charged with illegally reentering the and mortgages being sold and resold, homecountry after they were previously deported. owners might not even know who holds their Such cases accounted for approximately 15 loan. So who do they call to plead for time, percent of the caseload in western Washington last year, and 35 percent of the caseload in check facts or ask for a new loan? The court, however, didn’t need to delve federal courts across the country. too deeply into those issues in this case, For the most part, this group is at the which involves two homeowners facing foreopposite end of the spectrum from the folks closures initiated by MERS. The federal judge hoping to qualify for the DREAM Act. The in the cases asked the Supreme Court for its recent candidates for deportation in western Washington have previously been convicted of second-degree murder, As the court opined last week, possession of methamphetamine with this handoff to MERS “has intent to deliver, and other crimes. (It is important to note that these cases caused great concern about are separate from the civil immigration possible errors in foreclosures, actions handled by Immigrations and misrepresentation, and fraud.” Customs Enforcement, which account for the vast majority of deportations.) A typical case is that of 27-year-old Thomas reading on state law regarding MERS. While courts in some states, like California, have Avila-Billalobos. He was caught by King County authorities serving a drug search war- upheld MERS’ role, Washington’s Supremes say our law is straightforward: “If MERS does rant on July 10 at an apartment in Shoreline. not hold the note, it is not a beneficiary.” Avila, who has previous convictions for drug Huelsman says the ruling has implications dealing and being a felon in possession of a for more than MERS foreclosures. The court is firearm, was deported once before, in 2008. saying that anybody other than the note holder After spending a stretch in local jail, Avila cannot foreclose, she says. And that applies to was transferred to a federal detention center so-called “servicers”—usually banks that colin Tacoma, where he currently resides while lect mortgage payments on behalf of the note his case is processed. holders, and often handle foreclosures too. No matter what type of immigration Letting servicers handle foreclosures is a reform is eventually passed by Congress, it’s bad idea, Huelsman asserts, because many highly unlikely that repeat offenders like of them “don’t want to modify people’s loans Avila will ever qualify for citizenship, permabecause they make less money [in fees].” nent residency, or any sort of reprieve. But at Huelsman points to another aspect of the least the government is finally drawing a disruling that she finds highly significant. It opens tinction between felonious drug dealers and the door for homeowners who have faced upstanding youth who want nothing more MERS foreclosures to sue under the state Conthan to earn a college degree, work for a livsumer Protection Act. “Characterizing MERS ing, and start a family. KEEGAN HAMILTON as the beneficiary has the capacity to deceive,” the justices opined, adding that homeowners would have to prove they were damaged. Attorney and fellow foreclosure fighter The state Supreme Court last week called David Leen calls this “the biggest part” of the into question numerous foreclosures in this ruling, in part because under the Consumer state, and opened the door for lawsuits by Protection Act wronged parties can sue for homeowners given the boot. Just how many considerable amounts. foreclosures are we talking about? “Hundreds if Leen and Huelsman both say they need not thousands,” says Melissa Huelsman, a lawyer time to digest the ruling before deciding representing one of the plaintiffs in the case. whether to launch into new litigation. Asked The case concerns that nebulous entity, whether the ruling would set off a flood of the Mortgage Electronic Registration System, lawsuits, Huelsman said, however: “It’s cerknown more commonly as MERS. What is tainly a possibility.” NINA SHAPIRO E known about the Virginia-based company is that it started as a way for lenders to get news@seattleweekly.com

7


A

s Republicans prepared to renominate

The backwardness goes way beyond blowing the election and ushering Dubya into office. Decades of conservative dominance in the capitol have made Florida into a dystopian test kitchen for Republicans’ craziest ideas. Mass deregulation coupled with hacked education budgets has made Ponzi schemes the state’s biggest industry. More than a million residents are packing heat. And murder is essentially legal thanks to the Stand Your Ground law. But all the evidence you need of Florida’s dysfunction comes from a quick study of the state’s fearless leaders—the ones America will soon meet via cable news broadcasts from Tampa. Let’s start at the top: At the head of the crazy parade is Gov. Rick Scott. His poll numbers read like a thermometer in Reykjavík. For good reason. With his pale, shaven head and unblinking eyes, he looks— and governs—like Lord Voldemort. Scott’s shadiness preceded his election by decades. As a young lawyer in Texas, he turned a $125,000 investment in two hospitals into a massive health-care empire. Then the feds came sniffing around. They accused Scott’s company—Columbia/HCA—of billing Medicare and Medicaid for bogus lab tests and charging the government for luxuries such as Kentucky Derby tickets. When the investigation went public in 1997, Columbia/ HCA’s board booted Scott, but not before handing him $10 million cash and $300 million worth of stock. Three years later, the company pleaded guilty to 14 corporate felonies and paid the government a record $1.7 billion in fees.

Richard Nixon for president, gonzo journalist Hunter S. Thompson had a crank-fueled moment of clarity inside

his Miami Beach hotel room. “This may be the year when we finally come face

to face with ourselves,” Thompson wrote in his classic Fear and Loathing: On the Campaign Trail ’72. “We are really just a nation of 220 million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns, and no qualms at all about killing anybody else in the

8

Within 24 months, after shredding the Constitution and carpet-bombing Cambodia to hell, Nixon snuck out of the White House like the “drooling red-eyed beast” Thompson had known him to be all along. Now, 40 years later, the Republican National Convention is returning to Florida. On August 30, Mitt Romney will don a sleek suit and flash his Vaseline smile to a sea of pale-skinned delegates in Tampa. He will compliment the city on hosting the four-day, $123 million orgiastic event. And he will implore the crowd to obey the banners hung from the rafters: “Believe in America.” Outside the towering Tampa Bay Times Forum, meanwhile, ornery unbelievers will be confined like cattle to designated protest zones. There will be Black Bloc anarchists, Code Pink soccer moms dressed as giant vaginas, a poor-people’s camp called Romneyville, and tens of thousands of Ron Paul fanatics descending like libertarian locusts to devour whatever scraps their septuagenarian savior tosses them. Barred by city officials from bringing masks, puppets, or tricycles, the malcontents will be surrounded by 4,000 heavily armed police—not to mention a city full of conservatives with concealed weapons and a distaste for godless liberals. More than 35,000 die-hard believers will jet into town for a week of GOP glitz, gluttony, and gun worship. They’ll be joined by 15,000 headline-hunting journalists and another 15,000 protesters. While the mainstream media sucks down speeches by Romney and his new budget boy toy, Paul Ryan, Seattle Weekly is honoring Thompson’s legacy by doing as he would have done in Tampa: dredging up the real, sordid story behind the convention. It’s not something you’ll see on CNN. But screw Wolf Blitzer. We’ve got our own guides: pole dancers poised to suck rich Repub visitors dry, professional Sarah Palin porn impersonator Lisa Ann prepping for the performance of a lifetime, aging strip-club owner Joe Redner fighting off cancer to flip right-wingers his middle finger one last time, and Daily Show correspondent Aasif Mandvi returning to his home state to chronicle the madness. “Florida has a lot going for it,” Mandvi says. “Tampa is the birthplace of Hooters, for God’s sake.” Make no mistake: The RNC’s return to the Sunshine State is no fluke. For Romney, Ryan, and the rest of the party, Florida is the future. Since Nixon’s days, conservatives have transformed Florida into a hellish postgovernmental wasteland. Here, super-PACs run wild through suburbs in foreclosure,

As in ’72, Florida is the template for a right-wing takeover in 2012. Pay attention, America, because this crazy collapsed state could soon be yours too.

RICK SEALOCK

Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 22− 28, 2012

world who tries to make us uncomfortable.”

From cash-hungry strippers to protesters dressed as vaginas, your gonzo guide to the Republican National Convention. people trust in only God or their Glock, and the poor are left to literally cannibalize one another on the nightly news. But hey, there’s no state income tax! As in ’72, Florida is the template for a right-wing takeover in 2012. Pay attention, America, because this crazy collapsed state could soon be yours too.

A

mericans have long known Florida as the tacky tropical paradise where grandparents go to die—an isthmus of endless sandy beaches and unlimited cottage cheese. Then came the 2000 election, and like a maggot-infested mango, the Sunshine State was revealed to be full of crap.

You’d think the stink from the largest Medicare fraud case in history would stick to Scott, but in 2010, he ran for governor, dropping more than $75 million of his fortune to recast himself—like Romney—as an entrepreneur. He won by just 1 percent over Democrat Alex Sink, a candidate so bland she’s best remembered today as the great-granddaughter of a Siamese-twin circus performer. Scott’s two years in office have been a nightmare of GOP talking points turned reality. First, he pushed through a law requiring drug tests for welfare applicants, saying it was “unfair for Florida taxpayers to subsidize drug addiction.” Instead, taxpayers have subsidized $200,000 worth of tests, much of them conducted by a company owned by Scott’s wife. Capitalism! (Oh, and so far, only 2 percent of the tests have come back positive.) Never mind the fact that the law is likely a violation of the Fourth Amendment’s protection against unreasonable searches. Scott didn’t stop there. He also required drug tests of every state employee (because society falls apart if the dudes at the DMV smoke a joint once in a while) and signed a truly bizarre law banning doctors from discussing gun own-

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 10


Seattle we ekly • AUG U ST 22− 28, 2012

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Fear and Loathing in Tampa » FROM PAGE 8 ership with their patients. He let local governments steamroll the Everglades and then rejected a $2.4 billion high-speed rail system between Orlando and Tampa (which was to be paid entirely by the feds and private businesses). Why? Because trains are communist, you pinko. Scott’s biggest priority in office, though, has echoed his Republican overlords’ national plans: Suppress poor and minority voters. Last summer he signed a law slashing early voting from 14 days to eight and outlawing voting on the Sunday before the election— coincidentally, the day that black churchgoers usually drive en masse to vote for Democrats. The law made it more difficult for liberalleaning students to update their addresses to get ballots, and it threatened voter registration groups with fines. Even the Boy Scouts of America took offense. And Scott targeted Hispanics by ordering a purge of “potentially ineligible” voters from the rolls. It turned out that hundreds were perfectly legit citizens—including one guy who had survived combat in World War II. You might think you’re safe from this insanity in your East Village apartment or Los Angeles rancho, but the Republicans’ Frankensteinlike experimentation in Florida is already beginning to spread. The most infamously insane idea to go viral is the Stand Your Ground law, at the heart of neighborhood watchman George Zimmerman’s defense for fatally shooting unarmed teenager Trayvon Martin. Normally, in order to claim self-defense, someone is required to retreat from a threat before opening fire. But in 2005, Florida put the onus on prosecutors to show shooters’ lives were not in danger. The legislation quickly spread to 24 other states. In Florida, Stand Your Ground has been used by drug dealers to escape murder charges, invoked

“Hosting a convention in the middle of hurricane season in this economic and political environment leads to a little gray hair.” by one guy after shooting a bear, and cited by a jogger who beat a Jack Russell terrier. According to the Tampa Bay Times, the law is unevenly enforced to favor whites over blacks and Hispanics. And researchers at Texas A&M University recently found it has increased homicides across the nation. Sadly, Stand Your Ground isn’t the only scourge Florida has unleashed upon the

States. Decades of deregulation have made it the epicenter of the country’s foreclosure crisis. That same blind faith in business has also turned it into a veritable Scam-istan, ruled by Ponzi schemers such as retireebilking Bernie Madoff, cricket-crazy R. Allen Stanford, golden-toilet-owning attorney Scott Rothstein, bogus University of Miami booster Nevin Shapiro, and dozens of others. Meanwhile, poor residents have borne the brunt of steep budget cuts. Programs for mental health, substance abuse, and the homeless have been slashed. So when “Miami Zombie” Rudy Eugene ate the face off of indigent Ronald Poppo a few months ago, Floridians weren’t nearly as surprised as the rest of the nation. Hunter Thompson would be similarly unfazed: “Civilization ends at the waterline,” he once wrote. “Beyond that, we all enter the food chain, and not always right at the top.”

O

versize pink vaginas. Black Bloc anarchists. The bright-orange spurt of pepper spray into a crowd. Tampa Mayor Bob Buckhorn has Technicolor nightmares of what could go wrong at the RNC. The moderate Democrat didn’t ask for his city to host the event. But if anything goes awry, it will be endlessly looped on television and YouTube, and he’ll be blamed. “Other than the Olympics, this will be the most-watched television event in the world this year,” he says. “So yeah, hosting a convention in the middle of hurricane season in this economic and political environment leads to a little gray hair.” These are strange days for Tampa, and for America. Over the past decade, political polarization has turned the country into a powder keg. Buckhorn’s job is to prevent tens of thousands of convention conservatives and left-leaning protesters from combusting on his streets. It won’t be easy. If the nation has long been coming apart at the seams, Tampa could be the crotch that finally splits wide open. Inside the convention center will be titans of industry, the billionaire Koch brothers, hordes of Tea Partiers in tri-corner hats, Bill O’Reilly and FOX News freaks, Karl Rove

with his Crossroads GPS super-PAColytes, and a few thousand fawning female Christian fundamentalists toting “Enraptured by Paul Ryan” signs. On the other side of the picket line will be those resisting America’s rightward shift: Code Pink matriarchs clad as papier-mâché vulvas, carbon-neutral nouveau hippies, and the moldy leftovers of the Occupy movement. More than 15,000 protesters are expected. Videos threatening violence, supposedly by international hacker group Anonymous, have already been uploaded online. “Mayor Buckhorn can shove his authoritarian zones up his ass,” says a masked protester in one video. “When protest becomes illegal, there is no other option left but to fight.” Buckhorn says demonstrators have nothing to fear: “I’ve been very clear from the get-go that if you’re coming here to protest, you’re welcome. But if you step out of line and if you’re coming here to cause mayhem, we are going to deal with you.” The mayor is a cheery man with bright, beady eyes dropped like blueberries onto a doughy face. In true American fashion, he’ll be happy if he can survive August with maximum profit and minimum scandal. “I’m agnostic until the convention is over. For me, it’s not about red-state, blue-state. It’s about green,” Buckhorn admits, estimating the convention will bring Tampa more than $175 million. Bipartisan bonhomie goes only so far, though. The Secret Service prohibits guns within the convention center, but in a state with more than a million concealedweapons permits, Tampa will be swimming in sidearms. When Buckhorn asked the governor to ban concealed weapons temporarily in town during the convention, Scott scoffed. “I’m not an anti-gun kind of guy. I’ve got guns. Up until probably six months ago, I had a concealed-weapons permit,” Buckhorn boasts. “But to interject guns into a potentially combustible environment to me is absurd.” He says Scott’s snarky response was probably written by the NRA. “He has his opinions about the Second Amendment and he isn’t going to let the safety of the public or our police officers get in the way of it.” Scott’s decision isn’t popular in left-leaning Tampa, but it has gone down well in nearby, rabidly Republican Hillsborough County. “Who’s more likely to have a gun: a pinko commie liberal or a god-fearing Republican?” reasons Joseph Wendt, a Romney supporter in the area. “If you’re a bunch of liberal activists going to protest a conservative event where people are legally allowed to carry guns, you better behave.” Buckhorn’s stance hasn’t exactly endeared him to progressives plotting to protest the convention, either. They decry his plan to put them in three “clean zones” located several blocks from the Times


Forum. And they fear retaliation from the 4,000 heavily armed police officers—paid for by a $50 million Homeland Security grant—who will cordon off downtown. “We’re not going to do anything illegal,” says Corey Uhl, head of Students for a Democratic Society at the University of South Florida. “But with the recent frameups of NATO protesters in Chicago, you never know what the government will do.” Others are arguably already breaking the law. A group called the Poor People’s Economic Human Rights Campaign rented the land behind an Army surplus store near the Forum. They spread mulch on the parking lot, set up a portable toilet, erected Pepto-Bismol-pink tents, and called it “Romneyville.” Local officials say the tents violate zoning laws, but protesters say they’ll handcuff themselves to fences rather than leave. “Republicans can’t ignore us,” says Bruce Wright, one of the campaign’s organizers. “This is the future of the United States if things don’t change.” Buckhorn’s office has tried to contain the craziness by barring protesters from bringing props such as puppets and masks. But he will have his hands full with Code Pink’s vagina costumes. The outfits were inspired by an incident last year when a Democratic state rep joked that the only way for a Florida woman to avoid Republicans’ invasive reproductive regulations was to “incorporate her uterus.” Republicans scolded him for using the word on the House floor. “These stupid old-boy white men want to legislate our vaginas,” says Anita Stewart, a home health-care practitioner with a grandmotherly air. “They came out of a vagina and spend the rest of their lives trying to crawl back up in one, but they don’t want to hear the word. “We’re not in the 17th century anymore,” Stewart says. “Vagina!”

G

“When I first came to Florida as a boy, I said to myself: One day I’m going to ask the governor of this state to give me a urine sample in the middle of a press conference.” After high school, he stayed in Tampa to attend the University of South Florida. He majored in theater and later landed a job at Disney-MGM Studios in Orlando making fun of guests as part of a wandering improv group. Three years later he moved to New York. Watching the city grow suspicious of Muslim-Americans following the September 11 terrorist attacks, Mandvi turned his comedy political. In off-Broadway plays, he mined the “idea of sitting between cultures, between East and West, being Muslim-American but having that experience of being a kid in Florida.” The Daily Show asked him to audition in 2007, and he was hired the same day. During the past four years, he has traveled the country for segments, but many of his most memorable moments have happened in the Sunshine State. “Florida is such a huge piece of the pie in terms of national elections,” Mandvi says, “so it becomes a kind of lightning rod for all kinds of political energy. There is a reason why the Republicans are having the convention in Tampa this year.��� He pauses before offering another explanation for the locale of next week’s event: “You can’t ignore the fact that the Republicans are coming and having their convention in the city that has the best strip clubs in the world.” In five years on the campaign trail, Mandvi has learned what to expect from moments like the RNC. In Tampa, there will be a vastly different scene from the one at the Dems’ convention in Charlotte. “The DNC felt like just a big frat party, with kegs and people having a great time and dancing. The afterparties were all video games,” he says of the 2008 convention in Denver. “Then the parties at the RNC always seemed to be debutante balls, with ice sculptures and women in ball gowns.” In Florida, The Daily Show won’t struggle for material. Just ask executive producer Rory Albanese, who has helped coordinate coverage of six past conventions. “A lot of that is just because it looks like America’s penis,” he says of Florida. “We didn’t invent that. If it was Long Island, like I’m from, we wouldn’t be a very well-hung country.”

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 12

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Seattle we ekly • AUG U ST 22− 28, 2012

overnor!” The shout spun Rick Scott away from his budget presentation and toward the press pool. “You benefit from hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars every year,” asked a reporter he didn’t recognize. “So would you be willing to pee into this cup to prove to Florida taxpayers that you’re not on drugs, that you’re not using that money for drugs?” “I’ve done it plenty of times,” Scott stuttered. “Would you pass this forward to the governor?” the reporter said, handing another journalist an empty plastic piss cup. Sadly, Scott didn’t take a leak. But the governor had been punked. Two months later, the stunt aired on an episode of The Daily Show, lambasting Scott for his welfare drug testing. It was the most visible victory yet for a native son bent on airing his home state’s unparalleled craziness. “When I first came to Florida as a boy, I said to myself: One day I’m going to ask the governor of this state to give me a urine sample in the middle of a press conference,” says Aasif Mandvi, the comediancum-satirist. “Finally my dream came true, and I can cross it off my bucket list.” The Daily Show host Jon Stewart insists the program is “fake news,” yet its skits surgically expose political hypocrisy better than any 60 Minutes piece. Florida is a favorite target, and Mandvi, who grew up in Tampa, is the perfect gonzo guide.

Born in Mumbai, Mandvi moved to northern England when he was a year old. Fifteen years later, his shop-owner father saw ads for realestate deals in Florida and moved the family to Tampa. “I came from an all-boys British boarding school to a place where girls were wearing short shorts and everyone was running around on skateboards,” he remembers. “It was completely another dimension for me.” As a Muslim Indian with a British accent, Mandvi was triply out of place. His new neighbors didn’t know what to make of him. “I don’t think that in the 1980s Americans knew that there were other countries,” he jokes. “They knew that the oil came from somewhere, but they weren’t sure where exactly.”

11


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The Tampa convention also dovetails with two of The Daily Show’s most recurring themes: the mainstream media’s failings and money’s ever-expanding role in politics. “We all love watching CNN during debates or on election night,” Albanese says. “It’s like they have Q from the James Bond

www.johnspvvilla.com john@johnspvvilla.com

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A NIGHT OUT AT T HE

PUYALLU

Fear and Loathing in Tampa » FROM PAGE 11

Admission to th e Puyallup Fair, tickets to a WILLIE NELSO N CONCERT and the PUYALLUP PRO RODEO Sept 7th

P FAIR

movies in the basement saying, ‘OK, Anderson [Cooper], here is the new jetpack. You’re going to be flying around the studio.’ What weird piece of technology will CNN have spent $50 million on and have no need for tonight?” In May, The Daily Show’s close cousin, The Colbert Report, poked fun at a mysterious South Floridian named Josue Larose for forming more than 600 PACs and 64 superPACs, supposedly representing everyone from supermodels to Taco Bell customers. As usual, Comedy Central’s pranks hint at a deeper, darker truth. For months, the Tampa area has been flooded with political attack ads by shady, well-financed superPACs, says Mayor Buckhorn. On a national scale, these anonymous expenditures could decide the election. “There is so much political advertising coming through here, none of which is saying anything nice about anybody. And that’s true of both sides,” he says. For a moment, Buckhorn sounds almost as cynical as Mandvi peeking behind the political curtain and finding nothing but frat boys drinking and screwing. “The ads are just nonstop,” he admits. “It’s gotten to the point where we see so much of it that I almost long for the days of those Cialis ads.”

U

seattleweekly.com/freestuff

nder the black lights of the Mons Venus strip club, Monica’s eyes and teeth glow like St. Elmo’s fire. Sixinch stilettos dangle from her toes as she sits at a waist-high table. Her folded arms prop up her bare, surgically enhanced breasts, nipples staring in opposite directions like a gunslinger’s pistols. She smells like mint chewing gum and cigarettes. It’s a Monday afternoon. On an octagonal stage, a thin Asian girl grinds her naked hips against a pole as a few customers gaze at the gyrating spectacle. “It’s going to be as big as the Super Bowl,”

Monica says of the convention, over the heavy thumps of a hip-hop song. “Why do you think they are having it here in Tampa? It’s the Mons. People have got to see what it’s all about, even Republicans.” For millions of Americans, the RNC will be a pivotal political moment. In picking Romney and Ryan, Republicans will commit to a radical vision in which government and its social role are decimated, while the rich pay lower taxes than any point since the Spanish flu ravaged the earth. But for strippers, porn stars, and a small group of savvy smallbusiness owners, the convention means something much simpler: money. And lots of it. They’re banking big on the fact that the same guys waxing nobly about family values will be lining up at titty bars after midnight. “The history we’ve heard about the RNC is that there are people who will come out and spend,” says Tony Hernandez, the manager of the Tampa Gold Club, “whether it’s the delegates or the construction guys setting up and breaking things down.” Strip clubs have pimped themselves out in anticipation. The Gold Club has installed more black granite and marble tile than in a P. Diddy mansion. There will be $7 grouper nuggets and $18 veal shank on the menu, Hernandez says, plus Dom Pérignon and cigars, of course. There will also be giant flat-screen monitors so delegates can tweet about the convention even while getting a lap dance.

“I come out in my Sarah Palin suit with my hair up and my glasses, and I dance and strip and give away a lot of Palin paraphernalia. It’s going to be fun.” But if that isn’t elite enough for one-percenters, they can rent a private skybox with its own bar and stripper stage. A private entrance allows limos to pull right up to the door and prevents paparazzi from snapping politically embarrassing photos. And as a special convention bonus, delegates will also be treated to an assortment of their favorite adult-film stars. “We’re bringing in different porn stars from everywhere,” Hernandez says, rattling off names like Nikki Delano and Nina Mercedez. In fact, nearly every club is already seeing an influx of porn stars, as well as out-of-state and out-of-retirement strippers. Hernandez says his club will keep things strictly apolitical, but others are playing right into the RNC theme. “I’m going to do my Palin show,” says Lisa Ann, a porn star who over the past four years has impersonated the Alaskan VP candidate in classics such as Who’s Nailin’ Paylin? and the point-of-view flick You’re Nailin’ Paylin.


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Seattle we ekly • AUG U ST 22− 28, 2012

He won’t be in town for the RNC. Instead, “I come out in my Sarah Palin suit with my he’ll be in Vegas for a strip-club convention. hair up and my glasses, and I dance and strip It’s better that way, he says. In Sin City, and give away a lot of Palin paraphernalia,” Redner won’t have to watch Mitt Romney she says of her two-night performance at preach about “family values” while calling Thee DollHouse. “It’s going to be fun.” for a war with Iran. Lisa Ann, who once appeared in a live sex Redner wants no part of Romney’s Amerscene with a Mitt Romney look-alike almost ica. He gazes around at his club. “I prefer to as stiff as the real thing, swears her perforbe in here with the decent humans,” he says. mance isn’t political commentary. “I’m sure that there will be a bunch of people from the convention there,” she says, “but I’m not here fter he left Florida’s RNC and Nixon to make fun of politicians.” crushed George McGovern, Hunter There is at least one Tampa luminary for Thompson was in no mood to forgive whom flashing T&A will be about more than America. making some cash. Joe Redner, the 72-year“The ‘mood of the nation’ in 1972 was so old owner of Mons Venus, is a philosophizing overwhelmingly vengeful, greedy, bigoted, free-speech advocate who has donated his and blindly reactionary that no presidenland to the Occupy Tampa movement. He’s tial candidate who even faintly reminded also a pain in local politicians’ asses. In 1976, ‘typical voters’ of the fear & anxiety of Redner took over a bar called the Night the 1960s had any chance at all of beating Gallery, and after hearing on the radio about Nixon,” Thompson wrote. “All they wanted the Supreme Court’s decision to allow nudity in the White House was a man who would in movies, he concluded that nude dancing leave them alone and do anything neceswould have to be protected as well. sary to bring calmness back into their For years, Redner played cat-and-mouse lives—even if it meant turning the whole with Tampa police. When a girl stripped state of Nevada into a concentration camp onstage, undercover cops would arrest her. But for hippies.” as soon as they took her outside, Redner would Forty years later, many Americans are replace her with another. Then he’d go bail out again greedy and afraid—afraid of immithe first girl. “It took nine girls on a three-girl grants, afraid of upsetting “job creators” by rotation for us not to get shut down,” he laughs. not giving them tax breaks the country can’t “They ran out of undercovers!” afford, and afraid of paying 11 cents more for Redner himself was arrested dozens of their pizza so that the kid delivering it can times. Eventually, he won an injunction against have health insurance. the city’s nudity ordinance. Since then, he has Who knows where President Mitt Romney run eight times for political office. In 2007, he plans to put the hippies. But one thing is for lost in a runoff for city council with 44 percent sure: He’ll leave Americans alone, just as the of the vote. He has pretended in court to be gay Sunshine State has left Floridians alone all in order to prevent a homophobic law from these years. Ponzi schemers will proliferbeing enforced. His battles have pitted him ate. Developers will bulldoze pristine land against Hillsborough County Christian funinto parking lots. Everyone will carry a gun. damentalists such as state Sen. Ronda Storms, Unless you’re poor, of course. Then you’ll who has likened Redner to the Devil. have to piss into a cup. Like other strip-club owners, Redner But if 16 years of Romney and Ryan’s rightsays he looks forward to taking Republicans’ wing republic get to you, take Thompson’s money. But he sees it as long-overdue advice: “Load up on heinous chemicals and economic redistribution from the rich to the then drive like a bastard.” poor (his dancers are self-employed, receiving Mexico, here we come. E 100 percent of their lap-dance fees and tips). michael.miller@miaminewtimes.com “The big businesses, energy companies, Michael Miller is a staff writer at Miami and banks that back the Republicans have New Times, a sister paper of Seattle Weekly’s been stealing from the little people for years,” in South Florida. he says. “Now we’re going to take some of their money. I’m glad to.” more  Redner doesn’t online hide his opinions. He TO doesn’t have time to. He’s got stage 4 lung cancer and a deep cough that reminds him of his inevitable death. He doesn’t want to In honor of the see the country he’s Republican National gone to jail for more Convention’s kickoff than 150 times—yes, next week in Tampa, a country with titty our news blog, The Daily bars and pornograWeekly, has an easy-tophy—thrown out for a use dictionary to help you reactionary Reich. understand what Romney, Ryan “I’m already used and the rest of the gang are really to the invasion of saying. Translated entries include conservatives,” he “Barack Hussein Obama,” says. “They’ve invaded “Feminazis,” and “Jews.” our whole country Visit seattleweekly.com/dailyweekly, and taken over our or see this story at seattleweekly.com. whole system.”

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Learn more. Get involved. Make history. www.newapproachwa.org

Thank you, Vivian, core staff, and the thousands of volunteers who pulled off an amazing Seattle Hempfest once again. Thank you for the warm welcomes, the smiles, and the support. You ROCK. We look forward to celebrating with you in November.

Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 22− 28, 2012

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“We Ain’t Such Dogs as We Think We Are”

FILM

Open Wide

BOOKS

Polar Oppositions

novelist Laurie Frankel will also read from her Goodbye for Now.) Eagle Harbor Books, 157 Winslow Way E. (Bainbridge Island), 842-5332, eagleharborbooks.com. Free. 7:30 p.m. (Also: University Bookstore, 7 p.m. Weds., Sept. 19.) BRIAN MILLER

fri/8/24 DRINKING/FILM

From Darwin to Duplass

Ten years ago, a 45-minute mockumentary called The Reid-Secrest Olympics was released by novice Seattle filmmaker Jason Reid. The plot was simple: Two lifelong frenemies—Reid as the Lion, schoolteacher Matt Secrest as the Dove—would train for and compete in a series of athletic events, from one-on-one basketball to arm wrestling to the 100-yard dash, to determine who was the superior specimen. Innovative and charming, it made a minor splash locally, and was accepted by a few small-time film festivals around the country. Then came the Duplass brothers’ Do-Deca-Pentathalon, released here last month. That film’s plot was—with brothers competing instead of friends—almost exactly the same as that of Reid, who’s since garnered widespread acclaim as the creator of Sonicsgate. Was this the result of plagiarism by the mumblecore darling Duplass brothers, or is Reid simply Alfred Russel Wallace to their two-headed Darwin? Reid will be sure to address these and other pressing matters as he celebrates his first film’s 10th-anniversary in his home neighborhood of Georgetown, where the doc will be screened along with a slew of never-before-seen extras. And, just as they did 10 years ago, the taps will flow. And flow. Georgetown Stables, 980 S. Nebraska St. $5 (no beer)-$10 (drink your face off ). 9 p.m. MIKE SEELY

STAGE

Heard and Now Seen

Radiolab is all about curiosity—one reason why the public radio program, heard at 1 p.m Saturdays on KPLU, has become so popular. Bringing their intelligence and comedic sensibility with them, Radiolab hosts Robert Krulwich and Jad Abumrad are now performing a live touring show called Radiolab Live: In the Dark . The program focuses on the evolution of sight and shares stories of people who have profound personal experience with darkness, literally and figuratively. These include a NASA astronaut who was trapped outside his space shuttle and two sightless men’s different approaches to blindness. The show blends journalism and storytelling elements familiar from its weekly broadcasts, with songs from Thao Nguyen, performances from modern dance company Pilobolus, and comedy from Dave Foley. The Paramount, 911 Pine St., 877-784-4849, stgpresents.org, $36-$46. 8 p.m. (Repeats Sat.) ALLISON THOMASSEAU

sat/8/25 DANCE

Summer Recess

The media is full of behind-the-scenes work, from restaurant tales on the Food Network to trainingcamp reports in the sports section, and the dance world isn’t any different. For those who like to see the “before” picture, take a look at Flight Deck, the annual showing from Open Flight Studio. Every summer, the studio gives a few dance artists the best vacation they could have—time to work on new movement without a specific assignment in mind. This summer’s residents, Christin Call and Natascha Greenwalt Murphy of Corliolis

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 16

Scarecrow Video has built an entire DVD kiosk, almost a shrine, featuring Ernest Borgnine, who died last month at the age of 95. There, you can load up on movies from a career that spanned Broadway to Hollywood to McHale’s Navy to cameos on The Simpsons and SpongeBob SquarePants. Then walk over to the Ave to see Borgnine’s Oscar-winning turn in Marty (1955), a career-defining role that ensured he’d never just be cast as another Italian-American heavy. The tale of a shy Bronx butcher, unmarried at the advanced age of 34 (!), Marty is a sentimental but still wrenching study in loneliness. Also receiving Oscars were director Delbert Mann and screenwriter Paddy Chayefsky, who had staged the drama on live TV two years earlier (Rod Steiger starred). Chayefsky, a Jew given an Irish nickname during the war, knew something about the smothering weight of ethnicity, family, and tradition. While Marty courts a meek schoolteacher (Betsy Blair) over one long Saturday night, his mother and aunt despair over dead husbands and the children who

The late Borgnine boasts more than 200 credits on IMDb.

leave. The world is changing: Manners are in decline, Marty’s shop is threatened by the A&P, and dates are requested over the telephone. In one long take, Borgnine receives a rejection with eyes closed, sad as a statue; how many actors would dare that today? And in the movie’s most famous speech, Marty tells his mother, “Whatever women like, I don’t got it! I’m just a fat little man!” Even in today’s era of Facebook and online dating, many single viewers will know exactly how he feels. (Through Thurs.; beginning Saturday, the GI is also featuring Borgnine in The Wild Bunch.) Grand Illusion, 1403 N.E. 50th St., 523-3935, grandillusion cinema.org. $5-$8. 6:15 p.m. BRIAN MILLER

Seattle we ekly • AUG U ST 22− 28, 2012

Transplanted to the Northwest from Hollywood, where she wrote for shows including Arrested Development, Maria Semple now treats her new home with a satirical second novel, Where’d You Go, Bernadette (Little, Brown, $25.99). It is unabashedly set among that smug class of Seattleites with too much money, excess self-regard, and an air of privilege that the author will inevitably burst. Semple’s heroine is an ex-architect living on Queen Anne with her 14-year-old daughter and husband (a Microsoft baron). She’s a selfish, oblivious, overmedicated near-recluse who can’t bring herself to renovate their crumbling mansion. Far from L.A., Bernadette is ill-prepared for our torrential rain and mudslides, ill-inclined to make allies at her daughter’s private school, and ill-disposed toward our parochial Craftsman architecture. As Semple’s diary of a mad housewife grows more madcap, ranging all the way to Antarctica, it becomes an entertainingly Ephronesque beach read comprising e-mails, court documents, blog entries, and the narration of Bernadette’s daughter—the only sensible character in the book. (Fellow

MARCO ANTONIO

As summer draws to an end, let us revisit the greatest summer movie ever made: Jaws, which became the top-grossing film of all time (not allowing for inflation) after its June 1975 release. When pitched Peter Benchley’s novel, the 28-year-old director Steven Spielberg realized, “This is kind of a sequel to Duel!” In place of the marauding big rig, a marauding shark. In place of the small car piloted by Dennis Weaver, we have the famously toosmall boat containing Robert Shaw, Roy Scheider, and Richard Dreyfuss. The constant, of course, is the fear of a larger, more powerful adversary whose elusive presence is more felt—thanks to John Williams’ rumbling ostinato—than seen. Filming off Martha’s Vineyard was protracted and delayed by the malfunctioning mechanical sharks, but this ultimately worked in Spielberg’s favor. He shot around the missing fish, concentrating on scenes where his three heroes are frantically searching for it. Everyone’s vainly scanning the horizon in Jaws, staring into the water and looking through binoculars. Spielberg may be a master of spectacle, but its opposite is the terrifying lack of visual information, the malevolent unseen. (Jaws begins a Thursdaynight repertory series, through Sept. 27, also including High Noon, Chinatown, and The African Queen.) Sundance Cinemas, 4500 Ninth Ave. N.E., 633-0059, sundancecinemas.com. $8-$10.50. Call for showtimes. BRIAN MILLER

FRI: FILM

MGM/UA

thurs/8/23

Radiolab hosts Abumrad (left) and Krulwich.

15


Dance, and Jody Kuehner, of just about everywhere in town, will no doubt use the materials they’ve developed over the last few weeks—and perhaps some new tricks, too. Open Flight Studio, 4205 University Way N.E., 632-0067, openflightstudio.org. $5-$10. 7 p.m. (Repeats Sun.) SANDRA KURTZ FESTIVALS

Back to Blue

It’s a toxin-filled Superfund cleanup site. It’s a fetid ribbon meandering its way through industrial Seattle. And it’s the most important waterway in our city’s history. It’s the Duwamish, which has actually been getting much cleaner in the past four decades as Boeing and other polluters have redirected their pipes and environmental regs have reduced sewage runoff. Much credit also goes to the Duwamish River Cleanup Coalition, which is sponsoring today’s Duwamish River Festival on the South Park side of the river. The educational and family-oriented event will include food, live music, dancing, children’s activities, and complimentary boat and kayak rides. There’s also a 9 a.m. participation event ($20-$35), with a scenic walk starting at Alki, kayaks departing from Seacrest Park, and bikers leaving the start/finish at Duwamish Waterway Park for a leisurely tourist loop through Georgetown and South Park (both with relatively light traffic during that hour of the morning). Duwamish Waterway Park, 7900 10th Ave. S., 954-0218, duwamish cleanup.org. Free. Noon-4 p.m. BRIAN MILLER

Events SAT - MON, SEPT 1 -3

BUMBERSHOOT

sun/8/26 BENEFITS

Literacy Fest Events Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 22− 28, 2012

SAT, SEPT 8

16

PAW’S WALK

Events SAT, SEPT 22

The average tutor usually sets up shop at the library, not at the Greenwood Space Travel Supply Co. (aka 826 Seattle), part of Dave Eggers’ national reading and writing nonprofit effort. But these quirky storefronts—ranging from San Fran to Chicago to Brooklyn—provide public-school students aged 6-18 with palpable fodder for their imaginations, that, once fueled, are further primed with publishing projects, field trips, and valuable one-on-one tutoring, all for free. Each storefront sells T-shirts, buttons, etc. to help fill the coffers. But tonight, thirsty philanthropists over age 21 can raise a pint of beer in support of 826 Day. An an event also featuring prizes and live music, all you have to do it sit on your tuchus and buy a few rounds of 826 Luminosity—a crisp and refreshing golden ale made just for the occasion; 100% of the proceeds from those pints goes directly to 826 Seattle. And if that leaves your own reading ability impaired by the time you leave, it’s probably best not to teach or tutor on Monday morning. Naked City Taphouse and Brewery, 8564 Greenwood Ave N., 725-2625, 826seattle.org. Free. 4-7 p.m. GWENDOLYN ELLIOTT

arts»Visual Arts »REVIEW

Search and Destroy

Is the best way to protect public art not to tell the public it’s there? BY BRIAN MILLER

L

et’s say you went to see some new exhibit at SAM, but there between the paintings were a few blank spots where the wall cards read “This work was destroyed by a visitor.” How would that make you feel? Or if, on First Thursday, one of the galleries at the Tashiro Kaplan Building were a freshly burnt-out cavity, the smoldering entrance marked with police tape? And finally, this worse hypothetical: What if someone told you in advance that the art you meant to see might already be stolen or vandalized by the time you arrived? That’s part of the dilemma, and the urgency, to the Center on Contemporary Art’s fourth annual outdoor art show at Carkeek Park, this year called Rootbound. Curator David Francis selected 18 artists to deploy temporary installations in the woody North Seattle ravine, which has no museum guards or minders, unlike the Olympic Sculpture Park. Though Carkeek closes at dusk, there are a dozen entrances to its many dark, serpentine footpaths. And it’s long been a favorite locale for teenage keggers (and a few homeless campers). The artists likely understood there were some risks. Last year, my favorite piece was a slatted cedar orb hung in a small stand of trees, but park maintenance workers removed and destroyed the thing, having no idea what it was. (All works are identified by little concrete markers with QR codes for your smartphone; maps can be downloaded from cocaseattle.org.) This year’s exhibit opened June 23, and within weeks an installation had been burned down. Another piece, Indian dream catchers, apparently had been stolen in its entirety. Still more suffered what CoCA calls “a particularly aggressive public attitude”—meaning more bits and souvenirs were broken off or removed. After two months of such loss and abuse to the art, I had no idea what would be left during my Saturday stroll. In the old Piper orchard, a couple of friendly drunks were harvesting apples. They had booze, bikes, and a yapping dog. “What are you looking at?” one asked. “The art,” I said, snapping photos of Tiki Mulvihill’s Fruitless Grafting, which attaches copper pipe and other metal fittings to some felled apple trees—one of the works that’s been vandalized. I didn’t suspect my two fellow visitors, because they hadn’t even noticed the three pieces in the orchard. BRIAN MILLER

The Weekly Wire » FROM PAGE 15

Shintani’s Ancestor Chimes.

Apples were the draw, not the art. And you can’t attack something you don’t see. Prominence, in a sense, invites abuse. Down by the railroad tracks in an open grassy field, a hollow cardboard tree made by Josho Somine (ironically called Sanctuary) had been easy prey for arsonists. They could just light a match, then walk away. Nearby is Alan Fulle’s Four Noble Truths, a kind of tree house set on the ground—made of scrap wood and also flammable. Again, Carkeek isn’t a well-policed area. During my visit, the park was full of children, picnickers, and family reunions. It was hard to find parking, and hard to locate some of the artworks in the hubbub. But after the sun goes down, it’s a different story. Touring the park (a walk of under three miles), you find yourself asking, Why vandalize this piece, why not that one? This isn’t the way one ordinarily looks at art. Maybe Fox Spears’ dream catchers were taken simply because they were portable and hung near a parking lot. But Suze Woolf’s wrapped trees, the wrapping now gone, were up on the south ridge trail—a bit of a hike for a delinquent to make. The colored plastic lenses of The Mediated Landscape were woven into the chain-link fencing of the bridge over the tracks to the shore. These were apparently


arts»Visual Arts irresistible to small fingers and those who didn’t find any actual beach glass in the sand. Being camouflaged, hidden, or inaccessible—not usually the goal of art—may be the best self-defense strategy. Up near the visitors’ center at the park entrance, you hardly notice The Source Series by Lee C. Imonen because it imitates the other split-wood fences. Only when you examine a stump leaning against one end do you see the whole edifice has been carved away from the stump; it grows out of this dead logging remnant. Nothing here is remotely political, nothing like Serrano’s Piss Christ or our waterfront statue of Columbus that often gets paintbombed on Columbus Day. No one bothers messing with the bad art here that already looks like a mess. And what’s sturdy—see the jagged steel Heaven’s Lightning by Miguel Edwards at the park’s central overlook—can’t really be harmed; but neither is it reflective of the surroundings. That heavy piece likely required a truck and crane to install, while most of Rootbound is wrought from natural and easily transportable materials. You could call it wheelbarrow art, which suits an exhibition that’s seasonal and temporary. I’d like to see more stone and sculpture—things that can’t be stolen or burned—but that shit is heavy, and no artist wants to hurt his or her back during installation. Working lighter on the land means being fragile and vulnerable. For that reason, my

favorite work here hangs almost unnoticed from fir branches near a picnic area facing the bay. Judy Shintani’s gently ringing Ancestor Chimes are partly narrative, with text on oyster shells telling of her family’s internment during World War II. (“My father was 14 years old when the soldiers came to load his family into army trucks . . . ”) That sad history is today disturbed only by the wind, though someone could yank down the brass bells if they chose to. I doubt that vandals are following the CoCA map to target the art. But how many artists are willing to take that risk with expensive materials or a huge investment in hours? And to paraphrase Bishop Berkeley, If you put some art in the woods and no one sees it, is it art? The British eco-artist Andy Goldsworthy partly resolves that paradox by photographing his ephemeral creations of leaves and ice and rocks and twigs. Photos are later sold in galleries to buyers who never saw the art firsthand, who never got their shoes dirty. At Carkeek, the goal ought to be for the art to speak to the natural environment, and vice versa. What Rootbound may ultimately show is that parks no longer offer a respite from security cameras, padlocks, and police. E ROOTBOUND: HEAVEN AND EARTH IV Carkeek Park, 950 N.W. Carkeek Park Rd., cocaseattle.org. Free. 6 a.m.-10 p.m. daily. Ends Oct. 31.

BY MA’CHELL DUMA LAVASSAR

Openings & Events SIP ’N’ SEW Inspired by the work of Marie Watt, patrons

are invited to make their own felt wine bags and learn about textile crafts while enjoying good company and festive food and drink. Admission includes supplies, hors d’oeuvres, and a flight of wine. Tacoma Art Museum, 1701 Pacific Ave., 253-272-4258, tacomaart museum.org. $35–$45. Thurs., Aug. 23, 5:30 p.m. JOHNATHAN WAKUDA FISCHER Digital Superstitions mixes street-art technique with 19th-century ukiyo-e aesthetics and the spirits of yokai (mischievous shapeshifting ghosts). Artist reception, 5 p.m Thurs., Aug. 23. ArtXchange, 512 First Ave. S., 839-0377, artxchange.org. Opens Aug. 23. Tues.–Sat., 11 a.m.–5:30 p.m. Through Sept. 29. ANASTASIA YUMEKO HILL The Cornish video instructor talks about the ongoing (and very much recommened) Gary Hill show, “When Image Fondles the Tongue (and other experiments).” Henry Art Gallery, 4100 15th Ave. N.E., 543-2280, henryart.org. $5. Thurs., Aug. 23, 7 p.m.

Museums

• ANCESTRAL MODERN: AUSTRALIAN

ABORIGINAL ART FROM THE KAPLAN & LEVI COLLECTION Exploring an unusual and dynamic

chapter of art history, a collection of over 100 pieces from Australian aboriginal artists, from the late 20th to early 21st century, will be on view. Seattle Art Museum, 1300 First Ave., 654-3100, seattleartmuseum.org. $12–$15. Thurs.–Fri., 10 a.m.–9 p.m.; Wed. & Sat.–Sun., 10 a.m.–5 p.m. Through Sept. 2.

BOLD EXPRESSIONS: AFRICAN-AMERICAN QUILTS FROM THE COLLECTION OF CORRINE RILEY There’s a humble, colorful ethos of recycling

Send events to visualarts@seattleweekly.com See seattleweekly.com for full listings = Recommended

to this exhibit of some 50 quilts made by mostly rural African-Americans. Their materials include flour sacks, blue jeans, work clothes, and fabric scraps. Riley’s collection is mostly culled from the South, with examples ranging from 1910 to the ’70s, when she began her scholarship. (She’s also an artist herself.) That timespan means some of these bedspreads once might’ve covered the slumbering bodies of ex-slaves. There’s a lot of history sleeping here, and the ingenious scrimping and reusing of textiles also speaks to poverty and self-reliance. Each bright square or triangle was salvaged as a thing of value. Castoffs become folk art. Yet these quilts were never meant to be hung in a gallery; they were meant to be used and kept within the family. Here at BAM, you can admire the patterns and stitch work, but the functional and domestic quality has been lost. These quilts, once they become museum artifacts, are no longer homey. And it’s more than a little sad to consider that these quilts will never again cover napping children or be wrapped around grandmother in her rocking chair. BRIAN MILLER Bellevue Arts Museum, 510 Bellevue Way N.E., 425-519-0770, bellevuearts.org. $7–$10. Tues.–Sun., 11 a.m.–5 p.m. Through Oct. 7.

THE ANDREWS • GATHER UP THE FRAGMENTS: When it comes to reducing SHAKER COLLECTION

things to their simplest form and function, the Shakers helped shape our modern world. Looking at the various artifacts here, you’re struck by the relentless editing. It’s not just the frivolity and fanciness that have been excised, nor the cost of extra materials. Rather, there’s the relentless planing away of superfluous ideas. The function of one object—a “pie safe,” for instance, carefully screened to keep away flies—suggests no other object. No two purposes overlap. BRIAN MILLER Bellevue Arts Museum, Through Oct. 28. LIU DING The young Chinese artist plays with notions of provenance and reproduction in his Take Home and Make Real the Priceless in Your Heart, which consists mostly of paintings made by others and signed by him—many of them with the picture surface turned to the walls. Frye Art Museum, 704 Terry Ave., 622-9250, fryemuseum.org. Free. Tues.–Wed. & Fri.–Sun., 11 a.m.– 5 p.m.; Thurs., 11 a.m.–7 p.m. Through Sept. 9.

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arts»Performance BY GAVIN BORCHERT

PAGE 15.

Stage

FRANCINE REED With the Reed Family and the Total

OPENINGS & EVENTS

BETWEEN RAINDROPS: A SEATTLE LOVE STORY

A local take on romance, told through aerial, juggling, unicycle, and other circus arts. School of Acrobatics and New Circus Arts (SANCA), 674 S. Orcas St., 800-838-3006, sancaseattle.org. $14–$19. Opens Aug. 24. 7 p.m. Fri.–Sun. (except Aug. 31). Ends Sept. 2. COMEDYSPORTZ Comedy improv teams compete. See website for showtimes. The Ballard Underground, 2220 N.W. Market St., comedysportzseattle.com. $12. Fri.–Sat. HELLZAPOPPIN SIDESHOW An alt-revue starring Zamora the Torture King. El Corazon, 109 Eastlake Ave. E., hellzapoppin.com. $8. 8 p.m. Thurs., Aug. 23. HOT RODS, HOT BROADS The Academy of Burlesque presents Vixen Valentine, Karmen Sutra, and many other kustom-kar kommandos. Oddfellows Hall, 915 E. Pike St., academyofburlesque.com. $12–$17. 9 p.m. Fri., Aug. 24. KATIE GOODMAN’S BROAD COMEDY This satirical sketch show takes on left-wing politics, women’s issues, and more. The Triple Door, 216 Union St., 8384333, thetripledoor.net. $25. 7:30 p.m. Thurs., Aug. 23. THE LAST LEPER OF CHARENTON The Schoolyard premieres Todd van der Ark’s 1671-set play about an infamous French asylum. The Ballard Underground, 2220 N.W. Market St., 800-838-3006, facebook.com/ TheSchoolyardSeattle. $15–$18. Opens Aug. 24. 8 p.m. Fri.–Sat. plus Mon. Aug. 27. Ends Sept. 8. PORTLAND’S TOP-SHELF SHOWCASE Ian Karmel hosts Portland’s second most hilarious group of comics (after the Timbers). Comedy Underground, 109 S. Washington St., 628-0303, comedyunderground.com. Send events to stage@seattleweekly.com, dance@seattleweekly.com, or classical@seattleweekly.com See seattleweekly.com for full listings. = Recommended

$10. 8:30 p.m. Wed., Aug. 29.

• RADIOLAB LIVE: IN THE DARK SEE THE WIRE, Experience Gospel Choir, Teatro ZinZanni’s star vocalist brings gospel and the blues to the Spiegeltent. Teatro ZinZanni, 222 Mercer St., mirrortentmusic.org. $35–$55. 7 p.m. Wed., Aug. 29. SWEENEY TODD I love that there are youth theater groups doing this show. Co-produced by Seattle Public Theater and Seattle Opera. Seattle Public Theater at the Bathhouse, 7312 W. Green Lake Ave. N., 524-1300, seattlepublictheater.org. Free. 7 p.m. Fri., Aug. 24, 2 & 7 p.m. Sat., Aug. 25. WESTERN WEAR N’ TEAR Midnight Mystery Theater’s new radio-theater show. Odd Duck Studio, 1214 10th Ave. $8. 7:30 p.m. Wed., Aug. 29. THE WIZARD OF OZ Ian Bell’s Brown Derby Series (“ridiculously staged readings of your favorite screenplays”) presents Andrew Tasakos as Dorothy/Judy. Re-bar, 1114 Howell St., brownderbyseries.org. $18. 8 p.m. Thurs., Aug. 23–Fri., Aug. 25.

CURRENT RUNS

ANNA IN THE TROPICS Nilo Cruz’ Cuban take on Anna

Karenina. Burien Little Theater, S.W. 146th St. and Fourth Ave. S.W., Des Moines, 242-5180, latino theatreprojects.org, burienlittletheatre.org. $7–$20. 8 p.m. Fri.–Sat., 2 p.m. Sun. Ends Aug. 26. CABARET Showgirls and their admirers try to deny the Third Reich in Kander & Ebb’s musical. Second Story Repertory Theatre, 16587 N.E. 74th St., Redmond, 425-881-6777, secondstoryrep.org. 8 p.m. Thurs.–Fri., 2 & 8 p.m. Sat., 2 p.m. Sun. Ends Sept. 2. DRIVING MISS DAISY Alfred Uhry’s heart-warmer. Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave., 800-838-3006, reacttheatre.org. $6–$15. 8 p.m. Fri.–Sat., 2 p.m. Sat. Ends Aug. 25. EL ULTIMO COCONUT A coming-of-age tale about a Mexican-American cyber-nerd. Annex Theatre, 1100 E. Pike St., 728-0933, annextheatre.org. $5–$10. 8 p.m. Tues.–Wed. Ends Aug. 22. THE ILLUSION Tony Kushner’s adaptation of Corneille’s exploration of reality and perception. Center House

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Theatre, Seattle Center, 800-838-3006, soundtheatre company.org. $10–$15. 7:30 p.m. Thurs.–Sat., 2 p.m. Sun. Ends Aug. 26. INTIMAN THEATRE FESTIVAL Director Allison Narver sets her Romeo & Juliet in an overpopulated, favela-like world, a teeming cauldron of life. Starring the always-interesting Marya Sea Kaminski as its tragic heroine, director Andrew Russell’s Hedda Gabler lacks the relevance Narver has found for Romeo. Shanley’s 2003 comedy Dirty Story needs less doctoring to be contemporary, so director Valerie CurtisNewton hews closely to the ingenious original script: Shawn Law and Carol Roscoe play a couple from geopolitical Hell, bound together in a bare-studs apartment. MARGARET FRIEDMAN Intiman Theatre, Seattle Center, 800-982-2787. $30. See intiman.org for exact schedule. Ends Aug. 26. KITTENS IN A CAGE Kelleen Conway Blanchard’s comic take on women-in-prison movies. Annex Theatre, 1100 E. Pike St., 728-0933, annextheatre.org. $5–$15. 8 p.m. Thurs.–Sat. Ends Aug. 25. 99 LAYOFFS Vincent Delaney’s new play is a must-see for comedy fans: an absurd but coherent romance about two job-seekers and an urgent, Odets-like cri de coeur in the face of a seriously unfair economy. Leads K. Brian Neel and Aimée Bruneau are perfectly cast for their plasticity and—how else to put it?—interestingness. MARGARET FRIEDMAN ACT Theatre, 700 Union St., 2927676, acttheatre.org. $5–$25. 8:30 p.m. Thurs.–Fri., 2:30 & 8:30 p.m. Sat., plus 7:30 p.m. Sun., Aug. 26. Ends Aug. 26. PINTER FESTIVAL Harold Pinter’s iconic silences are like a mutating weather map of mood, conveying a remarkable amount of what seemed like narrative information. The Dumb Waiter concerns two hit men awaiting instructions for their next job. Cutups Darragh Kennan and Charles Leggett, who routinely clean up around town in non-Pinter fare, here play their roles too broadly; the laughs seem more the goal of rather than the fortuitous byproduct of character. The double-bill hits its stride in Pinter’s more accessible ensemble piece Celebration (also directed by John Langs). Here, Robert Dahlstrom’s set, an upscale 1980s restaurant, reflects the satirical bent of the play, in which restaurant staffers outclass their crass patrons.

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Among the latter, as Lambert, Frank Corrado’s mastery of the oeuvre shows in his character’s feather-light meanness. As a server catering to the revelers’ satisfaction, Cheyenne Casebier casually reveals her lofty pedigree. Meanwhile, Kennan’s waiter feels compelled to repeatedly “interject” to brag about an important (and improbable) ancestor. (Also performed are Old Times and No Man’s Land, plus sketches, film screenings, and more. See acttheatre.org for exact schedule.) MARGARET FRIEDMAN ACT Theatre, 700 Union St., $5–$55. Runs Tues.–Sun. Ends Aug. 26. TEATRO ZINZANNI: GANGSTERS OF LOVE Improv cutup Frank Ferrante is back as Caesar; Dietrich-like beauty Dreya Weber plays his long-lost amore Myrna. With music by Francine Reed and Orchestra DeVille. Teatro ZinZanni, 222 Mercer St., 802-0015. $106 and up. Ends Sept. 30; see zinzanni.org for exact schedule.

Dance

CARMONA FLAMENCO Traditional music and dance. Cafe

Solstice, 4116 University Way N.E., 932-4067, carmona2 @comcast.net. $15–$20. 8 & 9:30 p.m. Sat., Aug. 25. FLIGHT DECK SEE THE WIRE, PAGE 15.

Classical, Etc.

• MARK HILLIARD WILSON The guitarist’s annual late• •

summer recital in St. James’ cool, serene chapel. He’ll play Dowland, Purcell, and contemporary works. St. James Cathedral, 804 Ninth Ave., 382-4874, mhwguitar. com. 7:30 p.m. Fri., Aug. 24. JESSIKA KENNEY & EYVIND KANG Two of Seattle’s most intriguing nu-muzik artists (voice and viola, respectively). New City Theater, 1404 18th Ave., newcitytheater.org. $10–$15. 8 p.m. Fri., Aug. 24–Sat., Aug. 25. OLYMPIC MUSIC FESTIVAL Chamber music each weekend through Sept. 2. This weekend, Bloch, Brahms, Stravinsky, and the premiere of Festival pianist Michael Brown’s Dialogues for violin and cello. Olympic Music Festival, Center Road, Quilcene, 360-732-4800, olympicmusicfestival.org. $14–$20 lawn, $18–$30 barn. 2 p.m. Sat., Aug. 25–Sun., Aug. 26.

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film»This Week’s Attractions OPENS FRI., AUG. 24 AT PACIFIC PLACE. RATED R. 89 MINUTES.

Newly separated, Celeste (Rashida Jones) is told by her un-flamboyant queer co-worker (Elijah Wood), “It’s time get your fuck on.” He then immediately apologizes: “Sorry, I was trying to be your saucy gay friend.” Co-written by and starring Parks and Rec straight-woman Jones, Forever is a notably lo-fi entry into the recent trend of romantic comedies that think acknowledging the genre’s cliches is as good as subverting them (see last summer’s studio offerings Friends With Benefits and What’s Your Number?). A couple since puberty, L.A. 30-somethings Celeste and Jesse (Andy Samberg) are in the middle of history’s most amicable divorce. They’re best friends who still crack each other up with baby-talk in-jokes, and can’t resist a wine-fueled hookup. So why did they break up? Because Celeste is the type of judgy, materialistic career girl these films exist to knock down a peg. An indie in evident budget if not in spirit, Forever scores a big “F” on the Bechdel test, in that its women are almost entirely defined by their relationships with men, even in their conversations with other women. As it goes on, Celeste travels down a rabbit hole of self-pity, and director Lee Toland Krieger turns the subjectivity knob up to 11, meaning that the camera goes out of focus when Celeste has confusing feelings. The character’s increasingly clouded mental state seems to dictate the edit, but there’s a difference between stoner logic and a scattered narrative in which characters smoke pot a lot. KARINA LONGWORTH

P Compliance

RUNS FRI., AUG. 24-THURS., AUG. 30 AT VARSITY. RATED R. 90 MINUTES.

After its Sundance premiere, Compliance might be infamous as the film that inspired a woman to cry out “Rape is not entertainment!” However, writer/director Craig Zobel is not Daniel Tosh. Judging from the film itself, which keeps its final sexual assault entirely offscreen, Zobel seems to agree with

P Cosmopolis

OPENS FRI., AUG. 24 AT VARSITY. RATED R. 109 MINUTES.

Robert Pattinson’s casting as Eric Packer, a 28-year-old finance prodigy ensconced in a stretch limo on a 24-hour odyssey across Manhattan to get a haircut, gives Cosmopolis director David Cronenberg an automatic meta-text to play with. Updating Don DeLillo’s post-9/11 New York story into an ambiguous, dry black comedy, Cronenberg subverts a postmillennial mass-media moment that considers this guy the male ideal. Pattinson, dead-eyed and always on the verge of a smirk, plays Packer as the embodiment of post-Empire cool, a less-than-zero cipher of a personality. He’s a citizen of the world whose philosophical objection to traditional notions of national borders or cultural hierarchies gives him permission to live in a bubble. Cosmopolis is the first film based on a DeLillo novel. The original text was released to mixed reviews in 2003, but today, it reads as a prescient encapsulation of the current moment’s economic tumult, with public space defined by reckless power brokers and performanceart-like protest. Postmodernist cred notwithstanding, DeLillo held to the traditional novelistic tactic of introducing a character by telling the reader what was happening in his head. Translating a written text into a visual medium, Cronenberg declines to define a difference between internal and external. What is real? Who cares? The noise in Packer’s head is all there is. Cosmopolis unfolds as an unbroken stream of the character’s consciousness, so narrowly wedded to the way this loathsome master of the universe sees the world that we can’t actually see him. Call it a long night of the soulless. KARINA LONGWORTH

The Green Wave OPENS FRI., AUG. 24 AT SIFF CINEMA UPTOWN. NOT RATED. 80 MINUTES.

Social media’s role in the would-be Iranian revolution of 2009 is by this point much hyped, but no one has yet covered it quite like Ali Samadi Ahadi in The Green Wave. In both form and content the filmmaker refuses the orthodox, eschewing the official record in favor of narrated first-person accounts excerpted from individual blogs and Twitter accounts, animated here in a style reminiscent of Waltz With Bashir. In this way, the film is as much a narrative as it is a documentary. Even so, Ahadi frequently cuts to conventional talking-head interviews with participants in the protests and actual footage of what they describe. The strikingly composed illustrations and directly emotional tenor amplify not only the terror stirred by the country’s militarized police force (whose plainclothes appearance only makes watching their deeds more disturbing) but also ballot-box irregularities—and likely rigging—that put hanging chads to shame. Says one despondent interviewee: “It is clear now that no change is possible through ballots anymore.” The Green Wave oscillates between that sort of despair and cautious optimism, ultimately leaning toward the latter in a way that feels earned rather than forced. That Ahadi and his team were able to safely compile, let alone edit together, this much ground-level footage is a feat in and of itself; that it comes together in such a compelling manner makes it almost vital. MICHAEL NORDINE

Hit & Run OPENS WEDS., AUG. 22 AT MERIDIAN AND OTHER THEATERS. RATED R. 95 MINUTES.

A cheap, silly car-chase movie with a cute girl, Hit & Run wouldn’t stand out during the August doldrums without the good-hearted direction of its writer and star, Dax Shepard. Presently seen on TV’s Parenthood, he’s been tilling the comedy trenches for a decade without a real showcase for his shaggy amiability. Between gigs, he’s obviously been studying the car-and-a-girl movies of the ‘70s and ‘80s (Smokey and the Bandit chief among

Cosmopolis: Pattinson makes a pretty good magnate.

them). Here, the girl is Kristen Bell, the car is a tricked-out ‘67 Lincoln Continental, and the story involves Shepard’s very Zen ex-robber (now in witness protection) driving his girlfriend to a job interview in L.A. In pursuit are her jealous ex, his federal minder (Tom Arnold), and his old criminal cohort (led by a dreadlocked and amusing Bradley Cooper). Not that the plot matters very much. Shepard gives us lovingly filmed peelouts, sun flares in the windshield, cars jumping over shit . . . just because, well, cars have to jump over something. But what sets the film apart from today’s vidgame-influenced car flicks is the genuine, affectionate banter between Shepard and Bell (they’re an offscreen couple, too) and the odd conversational cul de sacs into which other characters drive. Shepard lets everyone, including the crooks, have their say—and then some. As a result, we end up liking everyone in the film— even a colloquy of nudists who are given nothing to say but plenty to show. Rubber burns and bullets fly, but Shepard is too fond of his characters to let anyone get hurt. BRIAN MILLER

Iron Sky OPENS FRI., AUG. 24 AT SIFF CINEMA UPTOWN. RATED R. 93 MINUTES.

Nazis on the moon? What could possibly go wrong? The premise to this Finnish sci-fi spoof is golden: Hitler sent a rocket to colonize the dark side of the moon in 1945; now in 2018, the Nazis are plotting to conquer Earth—but only if they can get their giant super-weapon to work. The necessary computer power is provided by the smartphone of a kidnapped American astronaut, and the retrograde technology supplies most of the laughs in Iron Sky. The Nazi moon base, conveniently shaped as a swastika, is powered by giant pistons and gears; spaceships look like Zeppelins (wrong war, but why quibble?); and the movie’s overall production design is cribbed from the blueprints of Metropolis. However, what dates the comedy

Seattle we ekly • AUG U ST 22− 28, 2012

MAGNOLIA PICTURES

Walker’s fast-food worker gets worked over in Compliance.

that heckler/critic. Based on a true story, Compliance begins on a busy day in a fictional ChickWich restaurant. Sandra (Ann Dowd) gets a phone call from a man calling himself Officer Daniels (Pat Healy). The cop claims that a young employee, Becky (Dreama Walker), has been seen stealing money from a customer’s purse. Sandra takes Becky into a back room and obeys the instructions from Officer Daniels: to take off all of Becky’s clothes and search her for the stolen money. On one level, it’s ridiculous that someone would take the nudity-obsessed Officer Daniels for a real cop. On the other, it’s a little absurd that we have to take off our shoes to board an airplane. More than any other recent narrative film, Compliance allegorizes the loss of civil liberties and creeping authoritarianism—even the sexual sadism that popped up at Abu Ghraib—we have come to accept since 9/11. Zobel’s images of female nudity reveal Becky’s vulnerability rather than offer audience titillation, but it’s crucial to his project that Walker is a young, attractive woman. If male spectators desire her, they come to feel complicit in Officer Daniels’ funny games. STEVEN ERICKSON ENTERTAINMENT ONE

Celeste and Jesse Forever

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 21 19


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This Week’s Attractions » FROM PAGE 19

Miloš Forman: What Doesn’t Kill You . . . OPENS FRI., AUG. 24 AT SIFF FILM CENTER. NOT RATED. 100 MINUTES.

Samsara OPENS FRI., AUG. 24 AT CINERAMA. NOT RATED. 99 MINUTES.

Whether it strikes you as a profound, perspective-shifting spiritual travelogue, or the cinematic equivalent of a forgettable New Age music loop, this follow-up to 1992’s Baraka by director Ron Fricke and producer Mark Magidson nails its intent as “guided meditation.” Zigzagging through 25 countries

in ravishing Super Panavision 70, Samsara plumbs its titular conceit—the Buddhist/ Hindu notion of cosmic cyclicity and earthly suffering—with a visual panache that shortcircuits the need for narrative discipline (and dialogue. Like its predecessor, Samsara is entirely nonverbal). From corporeal subjects in an Ethiopian village and a São Paulo cathedral to inanimate relics on Turkey’s Mount Nemrut and in the devastated Ninth Ward of New Orleans, the film’s imagery is epic and trance-inducing. It’s the “guided” part where Samsara stumbles. Civilization’s hypermechanized Malthusian horror show is captured with inventive flare (a mass dance sequence in a Filipino prison is a stunning highlight), but it’s undercut by an underlying smugness and complementary mush-brained Eastern fetishism that toe right up to elitism. Clichéd wraparound sequences in a Ladakh mountain monastery are the tip-off, but a preoccupation with factory grunts, office drones, destitute trash-pickers, and fat, burgerslamming Yanks as exemplars of humanity’s failings—no high-salaried overachievers or bougies of any stripe appear among Samsara’s parade of the lost—outs Fricke and Magidson as high-minded aesthete snobs. MARK HOLCOMB

P Searching for Sugar Man OPENS FRI., AUG. 24 AT HARVARD EXIT. RATED PG-13. 85 MINUTES.

Fluid, open-ended documentaries that demand more of an audience than foregone assent or fleeting bouts of passive outrage are rare these days, which is what makes Malik Bendjelloul’s Searching for Sugar Man such a gift. In telling the tale of Sixto Rodriguez, a Mexican-American balladeer from Detroit who cut a couple of tepidly received LPs in the late ’60s, vanished amid hazy rumors of onstage suicide, and subsequently became an Elvis-sized rock god in South Africa, the Swedish filmmaker sidesteps arthritic VH1style “where are they now” antics in favor of a more equivocal interrogation of celebrity culture. Bendjelloul interviews pertinent Rodriguez-saga parties in standard rock-doc style, including the hilariously combative former Motown bigwig and Sussex Records (Rodriguez’s label) founder Clarence Avant, as well as the singer-songwriter’s charming, touchingly loyal grown daughters. It’s no huge surprise when Rodriguez himself turns up, still living the same modest existence as before his brush with micro-fame, but it does dispel the impression that Bendjelloul has been punking us. Better still, Rodriguez’s casual disinterest

A local favorite from SIFF 2011

HELD OVER! Uptown

Fricke finds patterns wherever he looks in Samsara.

in p.r.-blitzing his resurrection and apparent contentment with an ordinary working life lets Searching for Sugar Man hold up a mirror to what we’ve come to expect—and cynically refuse to accept—from artists in an age of pervasive, entitled notoriety. MARK HOLCOMB

“The documentary equivalent of a page-turner.” – Entertainment Weekly

Uptown

Walk Away Renee RUNS FRI., AUG. 24-THURS., AUG. 30 AT NORTHWEST FILM FORUM. NOT RATED. 88 MINUTES.

Picking up where his 2004 Tarnation left off, Jonathan Caouette’s new documentary is no less hermetic, autobiographical, messy, and ultimately touching. This time the focus is on his mentally ill mother, Renee LeBlanc, though Caouette himself is in just about every frame of the movie. He decides to drive her from a group home in Houston up to New York; en route, they lose all her meds, and her condition rapidly disintegrates. Is this a case of poor planning, elder abuse, or filmmaking MacGuffin? The director obviously loves his mother, but the road-trip conceit also gives him the chance to intersperse still more of his video diaries. (No, Tarnation didn’t exhaust that bounty; Caouette seems to have recorded just about every moment of his life.) Delving back and forth in time, introducing his grandparents, boyfriend, and teen son (from a brief hetero fling), Caouette puts that footage into split-screens and dreamy montage, employing just about every film and video format ever invented, set to an oldies ’80s soundtrack. The candor can be excruciating, the intimacy embarrassing. It’s like Crumb without the genius at its center. Caouette’s frequent phone calls to doctors, begging for lithium, suggest a more objective view of the situation; yet it turns out those are reenactments, not real. In her more lucid moments, the once lovely Renee is a ham, and her son does nothing but encourage her to perform. Late in the film, he delves into sci-fi with an animated, alternative-reality vignette that suggests how their roles might’ve been reversed. It’s a jarring fictional interlude in a film whose form and subject are both schizophrenic. BRIAN MILLER E

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After his Oscars for One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and Amadeus, the career of Czech-born director Miloš Forman has gradually stalled into eminent stasis. As this overly respectful and insidery 2009 doc catches up with the now 80-year-old emigre, his much younger third wife and two preteen sons in tow, he’s lending his name to an opera production, assisted by the twin sons he left behind in Czechoslovakia, four decades earlier. Poorly organized, and with no narrator or outside context, the doc occasionally identifies Forman’s family members, but mainly we’re left guessing who’s who. Testimonials from the acting talent—Javier Bardem, Annette Bening, Woody Harrelson, etc.—have obviously been pulled from old press junkets. It’s an embarrassingly cheap, shoddy approach employed by director Milos Smídmajer, whose tedious film appears to have been made for Czech TV (with many English subtitles). It follows Forman and his young family from the Hamptons back to his ancestral Czech village, where he relates how his parents were taken to the Nazi death camps—a well-known story that, again, could’ve used some outside editorial prodding. Though his last released film, 2006’s Goya’s Ghosts, was an historical muddle, Forman is entitled to rest on his laurels. But that doesn’t mean we need to watch him rest on his laurels. However, SIFF is launching a Tuesday-night “Films of Miloš Forman” series on Sept. 4 with Loves of a Blonde. That, at least, we can strongly recommend. BRIAN MILLER

#1 INDEPENDENT COMEDY– Seattle Times

OSCILLOSCOPE

isn’t the Fourth Reich revivalism (led by Udo Kier) but the political shenanigans on Earth: An unnamed American president is plainly modeled on Sarah Palin, right down to the eyeglasses, then given a Dubya-style Texas twang to her accent. Bellicose, dimwitted, and domineering, she almost makes the Nazis seem sympathetic. (And indeed there is an Aryan schoolteacher, played by Julia Dietze, who joins forces with the black astronaut, American actor Christopher Kirby.) This president naturally hopes to use World War III to help earn a second term; and if she can grab all the “Helium 3” the Nazis have stockpiled on the moon, so much the better. International squabbling in a UN-like chamber is plainly modeled on Dr. Strangelove; the only problem is the absence of a screenwriter like Terry Southern. The already broad comic tone veers toward camp, and each new movie reference bears unfavorably on the one you’re watching. BRIAN MILLER

Held Over by Popular Demand!

21


film» BY BRIAN MILLER

Local Film BRICK Well, they got the title right. This 2006 SoCal-set teen

noir would’ve been funny as a three-minute SNL sketch (high-school kids talking retro staccato like Raymond Chandler’s tough molls and private dicks). But 110 minutes of the stuff is more fatal than the stolen kilo of tainted heroin sought by student Brendan (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), who’s also searching for his missing ex (Emilie de Ravin). Not that he’d shed a tear for that dame, no matter if she broke his Bakelite heart. There’s murder, pregnancy, dope, and even a Rubik’s Cube—which only confuses the recipe further. Are we referencing Dashiell Hammett or John Hughes? Is this The Maltese Breakfast Club or what? Brick’s principal insight, pre-war slang aside, is that high-school cliques are as rigorously structured and merciless as criminal gangs. (R) BRIAN MILLER Central Cinema, 1411 21st Ave., 686-6684, central-cinema.com, $6-$8, Wed., Aug. 22, 9:30 p.m. CAPE FEAR After eight years behind bars for rape, sociopath Robert Mitchum is out for revenge, stalking the small-time lawyer (played by Gregory Peck) who sent him to jail and his family—especially his 14-yearold daughter—in J. Lee Thompson’s dank thriller, which was remade in 1991 by Martin Scorsese. (NR) MELISSA ANDERSON Central Cinema, Fri., Aug. 24, 7 p.m.; Sat., Aug. 25, 7 p.m.; Mon., Aug. 27, 7 p.m.

COMPUTER ERROR: THE WORST CGI IN MOVIE HISTORY A compilation reel credited to the Alamo

Drafthouse in Austin, Texas, this 90-minute collection promises “a brutal barrage of twisters, scorpion kings, sharktopuses and farting little buddies.” Plus Jar Jar Binks. (NR) Grand Illusion, 1403 N.E. 50th St., 523-3935, grandillusioncinema.org, $5-$8, Fri., Aug. 24, 9 p.m. FREMONT OUTDOOR MOVIES The Coen brothers’ 1998 stoner-noir The Big Lebowski is Raymond Chandler filtered through dirty bong water, where almost every line of dialogue is a hazy, hilarious non sequitur. My favorite is when accidental P.I. Jeff Bridges (forever the Dude) is ambushed in his tub by nihilists bearing a ferret. “Hey, nice marmot,” he greets them, with his usual unflustered amiability. Nothing rattles Bridges’ Dude, not a lost rug, not a leering Tara Reid, not a lisping John Turturro, not a raving John Goodman, not a simpering Steve Buscemi, and not even shrieking performance artist Julianne Moore, who joins Bridges in a Busby Berkeley-style bowling fantasy that sums up the movie’s sweet, silly spirit. Outdoor movie screens at dusk. (R) BRIAN MILLER Fremont Outdoor Cinema, 3501 Phinney Ave. N., 781-4230, fremontoutdoormovies.com, $5, 7 p.m Sat. Aug. 25. JAWS SEE THE WIRE, PAGE 15. THE LITTLE PRINCE Adapting the famed children’s book by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, director Stanley Donen achieves bits of magic and mortality in this 1974 film. Perhaps it’s time for another filmmaker to take a crack at it with modern CG effects. (G) SIFF Film Center, 305 Harrison St. (Seattle Center), 324-9996, siff.net, $4, Sat., Aug. 25, 1 p.m.; Sun., Aug. 26, 1 p.m.

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Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 22− 28, 2012

22

• MAGNUSON OUTDOOR MOVIES Six names guar-

anteed to make you laugh: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, and Michael Palin. Arthurian legends have never been treated with such impudent silliness as in Monty Python’s 1975 geek comedy classic Monty Python and the Holy Grail, later turned a Broadway smash. Substituting coconut shells to clip-clop in place of actual horses, playing multiple characters each, the Pythons merrily run amok through Camelot and other mythic locales. Cleese playing the French tower guard remains a highlight among highlights; don’t pretend you don’t already know all the lines. Outdoor movie screens at dusk. (PG) BRIAN MILLER Magnuson Park, 7400 Sand Point Way N.E., moviesat magnuson.com, $5, Thursdays, 7 p.m. Through Aug. 30. THE MALTESE FALCON Humphrey Bogart helped cement his screen identity playing Sam Spade in John Huston’s 1941 treatment of the Dashiell Hammett detective novel. Peter Lorre and Sydney Greenstreet are memorable in support. (NR) Egyptian, 805 E. Pine St., 781-5755, landmarktheatres.com, $8.25, Fri., Aug. 24, 11:59 p.m.; Sat., Aug. 25, 11:59 p.m. MARTY SEE THE WIRE, PAGE 15. MARYMOOR PARK OUTDOOR MOVIES The 1981 Raiders of the Lost Ark is a movie freed from the responsibility of fatherhood, much less adulthood. Then 39, Harrison Ford was more like the embodiment of the boyish dreams of producer George Lucas and director Steven Spielberg. Sure, he makes manly eyes at Karen Allen, but the lust—like the violence, in which movie-Nazis can be killed like flies—is only as real as in the movie serials that inspired the Indy franchise. In a thoroughly satisfying, always kinetic way, this first Jones flick lives inside its own archetypes, and Ford is too disciplined an actor to wink at the artifice. He always seems sincerely, physically invested in this iconic role, whether he’s outrunning boulders, being dragged under trucks, or recoiling from snakes. He’s a moonlighting, grave-robbing, rogue scholar, nobody’s hero. He’s a man you want to be—not the same thing as being a role model. Outdoor movie screens at dusk. (PG) BRIAN MILLER Marymoor Park, 6046 W. Lake Sammamish Parkway N.E. (Redmond), moviesatmarymoor.com, $5, Weds., 7 p.m. Through Aug. 29. MOONLIGHT CINEMA Built around the talents of Kristen Wiig, Bridesmaids’ core relationship is between Annie (Wiig) and her best friend, Lillian (Maya Rudolph), whose recent engagement—and new friendship with the effortlessly polished and capable trophy wife of her fiance’s boss—sends Annie into a tailspin. Meanwhile, she inadvertently charms a traffic cop (Chris O’Dowd), who begins to disrupt her default practice of finding excuses to give up when realities fail to match fantasies. At its best, Bridesmaids merges high-concept, skit-length-and-paced comedy with naturalistic conversation. It’s funniest when the humor is based in language, with Wiig exercising her talent for passive-aggressive one-upping in heightened situations. Outdoor movie screens at dusk. 21 and over. (R) KARINA LONGWORTH Redhook Ale Brewery, 14300 N.E. 145th St. (Woodinville), 425-483-3232, redhook.com, $5, Thursdays. Through Aug. 30. PREDATOR Arnold Schwarzenegger stars in this enjoyable action flick from 1987, in which a gang of mercenaries is stalked by an alien beast. Many lesser sequels followed. (R) Central Cinema, $6-$8, Tue., Aug. 28, 7 p.m. THE REID-SECREST OLYMPICS SEE PAGE 15.

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food&drink»

True Grits

Can locavorism and soul food coexist?

bout the name of Serious Soul, the Federal Way fried chicken and catfish storefront that this month is quadrupling in size: “Serious” isn’t just another way of saying that the kitchen considers its output pretty doggone good, which is what it usually means when soul food maestros slap words like “tasty,” “heavenly,” or “Mama’s” over their front doors. Owner Diona Brady is as serious as a funeral cake about her three-year-old restaurant, which she launched after logging time as an undercover restaurant consultant. It was Brady’s job to draw up improvement plans for struggling restaurants, and she doesn’t plan to replicate the mistakes she witnessed. A Seattle native, Brady decided to specialize in “the food we were raised on” because there weren’t too many other area restaurants serving the same. “It’s just good business,” Brady explains. “We can’t go to Louisiana, so to speak.” Brady is constantly activating her business acumen, adopting policies that might not occur to less serious restaurateurs. She limits customers to four corn dogs apiece, because she fears kids from a nearby school could wipe out her supply and force her to disappoint a diner of legal age. And since industrial

Soul food acolytes tend to seek out dishes that emulate what their grandmothers cooked— and their grandmothers shopped at the A&P.

N

ow here’s where I wish I could tell you that Serious Soul is challenging the dated definition of soul food with extraordinary dishes that should cause other cooks to rethink their inventories. I fervently wish it were true that well-tended chickens fry up better than their doctored cousins, and that collards are more delicious when Sysco’s never had its hands on them. But the food at Serious Soul is mostly just fine, and hardly the stuff of revolution. The influence of Brady’s sourcing is most evident at the cash register: By soul food standards, a Serious Soul meal is awfully pricy: Five jointed chicken wings cost $12.99, and a small serving of mashed potatoes runs $4.49. Orders are placed at a wooden counter set with a pickle jar, a soda cooler and a pair of

stacked wicker baskets holding Cheetos and You can’t go to Louisiana, Cracker Jack. The method saves on gratuity— but you can go to Federal Way. although if you can skip the tip after one of Brady’s relatives has spent 20 minutes frying a catfish filet for you, you’re a stronger serof classical soul food. A maroon-hued bog of vice absolutist than me. Either way, plan on porky red beans and rice is smoky and musspending at least $40 on dinner for two. cular, and the gumbo is as enticingly heavy “Some of our items are expensive,” Brady and warm as a flannel shirt. A clear reminder admits. “I hear that complaint until they of why “gumbo” is such a potent metaphor, actually try it and realize we’re using fresh the dish has just about everything in it: Bay produce.” shrimp line the bottom of the bowl, and a Serious Soul also concocts its own stickytrawl of the spoon picks up a strip of fried sweet barbecue sauce, sold by the Mason jar catfish, sliced andouille sausage, bits of scaland brushed over floppy St. Louis-cut spare lops and crab, a chicken wing and—yikes!—a ribs, and a complex sweet tea that feels thick hush puppy. The gumbo has a strong, peppery on the tongue. Brady won’t reveal what she flavor that lashes out if you so much as glance adds to the basic sugar mixture, but the tea at the tabletop bottle of Frank’s hot sauce. has a floral, Earl Gray Scholars can debate character. It’s apparently whether Brady’s gumbo a hit at Serious Soul’s counts as soul food. A » PRICE GUIDE CATFISH DINNER .................... $12.99 many catering gigs: The Washingtonian’s seafoodCHICKEN AND WAFFLES ..... $10.99 RIBS .............................................. $13.99 new 75-seat dining room studded salute to Cajun GUMBO ........................................ $13.99 (annexed from a defunct foodways, untouched by CORNBREAD ...............................$2.49 SWEET TEA .................................$2.49 Mexican restaurant) is vestigial 1950s kitchen SWEET POTATO PIE ................. $3.99 already booked for a baby mores, presses mightily shower and a 90-year-old’s against the boundaries of birthday party. Both celebrations are likely soul food’s standard definition. It is surely to be marked with sweets. If the guests of African-American food, but—as Miller points honor can be distracted from cake, Serious out—that’s not always synonymous with soul. Soul serves an excellent nutmeg-tinged sweet Yet most of Brady’s customers—a demopotato pie with a buttery crust. graphic evenly divided between displaced Not every supporting player on Serious Southerners who miss fried pork chops Soul’s menu impresses. Collards taste flat, as and pound cake and Northwest-born eaters though they’ve been rushed out of the pot, who’ve been clued in to the Dixie diet by and a thick slice of cornbread pried from a food television—may not care about culinary cast-iron skillet was dry and overly sweet. semantics. All they need to know about the Fried catfish flakes beautifully, although its gumbo is that it’s absolutely terrific. E coating was too salty the night I tried it. I hraskin@seattleweekly.com preferred a juicy fried chicken with papery skin, served alongside a malty Belgian waffle SERIOUS SOUL CAFÉ with deep syrup pockets. 35501 21st Ave. S.W., Federal Way, 253-661-0767, Serious Soul’s very best dishes harken back serioussoulcafe.com. 1-8:30 p.m. Tues., to Louisiana, which is a bit beyond the scope 11 a.m.-8:30 p.m. Wed.-Sat.,11 a.m.-6 p.m. Sun.

Seattle we ekly • AUG U ST 22− 28, 2012

meat and frozen vegetables are a tough sell in this corner of the country, she uses allnatural Draper Valley Farms chicken and fresh greens from the independently-owned Charlie’s Produce. “The corn we scrape off the cob,” she says. But Brady’s sourcing raises the question of whether seriousness—at least as it pertains to ingredient integrity—is actually at odds with what’s commonly described as soul food nowadays. Soul food is rooted in the African-American cooking traditions of rural inland Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas and east Texas, where make-do meals blended African cooking techniques with indigenous plants and imported pigs. In the antebellum South, black-eyed peas simmered with ham hocks and sweet potatoes baked in pie crusts without any help from powders or canned goods. But the phrase “soul food” wasn’t coined until the 1950s, when processed foods dominated the urban American pantry. Northerndwelling musicians and Black Power activists who wanted to reclaim the foods that saw their forebears through hard times ended up crafting a sentimental cuisine that was

often greasier, fattier, sweeter and more artificial than its inspiration. In many soul food restaurants, red KoolAid and chocolate cake from a box are as integral to the menu as hush puppies and pigs feet. Soul food acolytes tend to seek out dishes that emulate what their grandmothers cooked —and their grandmothers shopped at the A&P. According to Adrian Miller, whose book on soul food will be published next year by the University of North Carolina Press, there are limits to soul food shortcuts: “Soul foodies will put up with banana pudding, cornbread and mac n’ cheese made from a mix, or cobblers and pies baked with pre-made pastry shells and canned fruit. But they’ll talk about you if the black-eyed peas, greens and sweet potatoes come out of a can and lack seasoning.” In the course of his research, Miller visited more than 150 soul food restaurants in 16 states. “I’m not telling you how many pounds gained,” he jokes, which explains why “health-conscious” is now the hottest trend in soul food (Brady says she wants to add grilled fish and rotisserie chicken to her menu.) But Miller didn’t encounter many soul food chefs with a locavore streak. “If Serious Soul is doing so, I think it’s a great ‘back to the future’ moment since, for some, soul food evokes images of home life in the rural South: raising a small herd of livestock, raising a sizable kitchen garden in the yard, and foraging for seasonal, wild fruit and greens,” he says. JOSHUA HUSTON

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CENTRAL DISTRICT

R & L HOME OF GOOD BAR-B-Q 1816 E. Yesler Way,

322-0271. Nothing fancy here; the soda comes out of a vending machine in the corner, and they don’t take plastic. But R & L sure makes a mean pulled-pork sandwich and fine plate of ribs. The Southern hospitality exhibited by the mother/daughter team who run the joint couldn’t be more welcoming, even if the food didn’t call you back, the atmosphere—or wonderful lack thereof—would. $

COLUMBIA CITY

AWASH 3808 S. Edmunds St., 723-1971. This Columbia City

spot really comes alive some nights—check the disco ball in the center of the dance floor. If it’s still spinning, you just missed the party. Settle yourself instead with the Awash combo plate, which comes with stews and sauces in a variety of colors and spices. Bring a friend; it’s big enough to share. $ LOTTIE’S LOUNGE 4900 Rainier Ave. S., 725-0519. Lottie’s Lounge is a low-key, funky neighborhood place-the gathering spot for Columbia City’s bohos. The coffee shop turned bar/cafe serves a full dinner menu, allowing you to polish off a grilled ham-and-cheddar panini or a plate of caper-studded linguine carbonara as you listen to the DJ’s set. $

DOWNTOWN

MARKET BAGELS 1525 1st Ave., 382-4297. Market’s

bagels aren’t bad by any stretch. The basic flavors are all covered—onion, jalapeno, sun-dried tomato, blueberry. Be sure to pick up a tub of salmon cream cheese; It’s

FirstCall

» by ma’chell duma lavassar

Welcome to the Jungle

Barrio’s Casey Robison won the Seattle round of the 2012 Diageo World Class Cocktail competition. It tastes overwhelmingly fresh and achieves the perfect balance of heat and sweet. The Verdict: Seattle is lucky to have Barrio. It is a quality establishment in every sense of the word. The food is astoundingly good, they stock more than 100 tequilas, and the ambience can’t be beat. While it’s a little on the spendy side, one can visit on Sundays when all specialty cocktails

Jasonduilaw.com If you have a DUI or Traffic Infraction(s), you need representation immediately. 20% Discount for Veterans 10% Discount for College Students with I.D. IF YOU ARE STOPPED FOR A DUI, HAND THIS CUTOUT TO THE OFFICER.

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are a mere $6, or on Mondays when their tequila selection is 50 percent off when ordered neat or by the flight—which range from $23 for three one-ounce pours of Milagro to $90 for a selection that includes Don Julio 1942, Herradura Seleccion Suprema and El Tesoro Paradiso, all served with housemade sangrita (verde or Colorado) as your chaser. E food@seattleweekly.com

• I will sign a citation, if any, then I want to leave immediately. • I will not answer any questions without an attorney present. • I do not have to do “Field Sobriety Tests” and I refuse to do them. • I do not consent to or want to be recorded. • I do not consent to my person, car, or other property being searched. • I do not waive my rights. If you want me to take a breath or blood test, I want to talk to Casey Jason at 425-223-7701, first.

Seattle we ekly • AUG U ST 22− 28, 2012

MA’CHELL DUMA LAVASSAR

The Watering Hole: Barrio Mexican Kitchen & Bar, 1420 12th Ave., 588-8105, CAPITOL HILL The Atmosphere: Urban elegance goes south of the border with nary a tchotchke in site. The house music comes courtesy of Pandora and was cranking out the likes of Santigold and the Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs on my visit. Barrio is daylight-drenched at noon, and walls of candles are lit in the evening to provide the city’s most flattering lighting—which may explain the overabundance of revved-up ladies of a certain age who inhabit this establishment. As tired as it is to evoke the “C” word, I have to, as Barrio has such a cougar clientele it could be declared a wildlife refuge—so much so I had to assure the bartender I wanted his contact information for this piece, not a piece. The Barkeep: Darren Archer has been working at Barrio for three years; overall, he’s put in seven in the Seattle food-service industry after migrating from L.A. in his early twenties. Darren’s passion for cocktails is only exceeded by his interest in brewing, and his ultimate gig would be custom-crafting beer. The Drink: The Sexy Sadie (Reposado, fresh lemon, lillet blanc, agave nectar, sage, pineapple, jalapeno, black pepper), created by

full of fat and chunks of smoked salmon. A thick layer of schmear on a bagel of your choice makes for an ideal lazy Sunday-afternoon snack. $ STEAMERS SEAFOOD CAFE 1200 Alaskan Way, Ste. #101 (Pier 56), 623-2066. For under 10 bucks, you end up with a goodly portion of very nice Alaskan cod and chips. Have them English-style with vinegar, or go American with ketchup and tartar sauce. Other menu items are less successful, so take your fish-and-chips outside and soak up a little sun. $ STEELHEAD DINER 95 Pine St., 625-0129. Poutine, baby. Pou-friggin’-tine. It’s the answer to almost every question mankind asks, the cure to damn near anything that ails us. And you know where you can get some fine poutine? At chef Kevin Davis’ Steelhead Diner. Made with Beecher’s cheese curds from right around the corner, a trained chef’s version of cheap diner gravy, and perfect french fries, Steelhead’s poutine is a lowbrow dish served in a very high-tone setting. True, Steelhead’s the kind of place that often fills up with suits and swells and beautiful people out flexing their new haircuts and business cards at each other, but sometimes you have to look past the crowds and the surface details to find the really good stuff. And at the Steelhead, that really good stuff includes Davis’ idea of the American diner “evolved”—buttermilk fried chicken sandwiches, fish-and-chips, meat loaf served with juniper sauce and parsnip puree rather than mashed potatoes, and slices of pie filled with caviar. Personally, I love the upscale/lowdown fusion Davis does here, and though I do generally try to get out before the bar starts filling with martini sippers, I could easily live for weeks on nothing but the kitchen’s poutine and a couple cases of cheap beer—even if I’d have to get the cheap beer somewhere else. $$ THAI GINGER 600 Pine St., Ste. 406, 749-9100. The house special is a must-try for ginger lovers, with ginger strips sautéed in a dark sauce with onions, mushrooms, green peppers, and chicken or beef. For appetizers, try the

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EASTLAKE & SOUTH LAKE UNION FEIERABEND 422 Yale Ave. N., 340-2528. German beer

is a great democratizer, appealing to both snobs and dudes (no matter their gender). Same with the food at this slick German pub, located in the bottom of a condo complex and painted the color of a ketchup bottle. There are plump, grilled bratwurst to be eaten, as well as jägerschnitzel, thinly pounded pork loins smothered in a creamy mushroom sauce. Or drink your weissbier with just-baked soft pretzels; light, eggy spaetzle smothered in cheese; and currywurst, the ultimate Berliner street food. $ I LOVE SUSHI 1001 Fairview Ave. N., 625-9604. People love I Love Sushi. I Love Sushi is bright and clean, with a bright and clean staff, and bright, clean-tasting sushi. The popular spider roll surrounds a soft-shell crab with avocado, cucumber, mayonnaise, rice, and flying fish eggs; the I Love Roll, with unagi (broiled eel), is equally well loved. I Love Sushi leans toward the upscale—both atmosphere and food are reliably lovable for I Love Sushi lovers, who crowd into both the South Lake Union and Bellevue restaurants to love them. $ SKILLET STREET FOOD locations vary. Nothing more than an Airstream trailer found weekdays in various curbsides, alleyways, and parking lots, Skillet is undoubtedly Seattle’s best restaurant on wheels, attracting a cult following of neighborhood foodies. On the gourmet end, there’s really no better burger around than their $11 offering, touting grass-fed beef they grind and salt-cure themselves, arugula, and bacon jam. The steal is the poutine, that Canadian delicacy of thick fries smothered in gravy and cheese curds—a delicious way to stretch your stomach. No matter what the options on their chalkboard are (many of which will be crossed out if you return to Skillet for a later lunch), the ingredients are the best of the best-in-season, fresh, and locally sourced. With not much space in the trailer to prepare their food, there’s no room for bullshit. And though the servers hang out the door of a trailer, Skillet boasts impeccable service. $

GEORGETOWN

THE CORSON BUILDING 5609 Corson Ave. S., 762-3330.

Over the course of 18 months, Sitka & Spruce founder Matt Dillon and Wylie Bush gutted a gorgeous Spanish revival building under a highway overpass to create a urban-rustic restaurant that aspires to be a center for Seattle’s food community. The communal dinners that fund their enterprise range from $30 picnics to $140, four-hour, eight-course meals with multiple wine pairings

ALittLeRAskin » by hanna raskin

Share, Croppers

Gardens tend to prosper on Vashon Island, which means many of its growers are right now wondering what to do with all their extra bounty. While residents have a strong tradition of donating their surpluses to food banks, an increasing number of gardeners are experimenting with preservation, a strategy supported by Vashon’s Food Preservation Tool Library. The three-year-old group lends dehydrators, pressure canners, water-bath canners and vacuum sealers to residents contemplating their first-ever batches of rhubarb jam or tomato sauce. The check-out fee is $5, plus a $50 deposit, although tool keeper Sheila Brown says she’d happily negotiate with an aspiring preserver who couldn’t come up with the money. Brown points out that there’s a political dimension to the project, which was spearheaded by Vashon’s Food Security Working Group.

(check thecorsonbuilding.com for a schedule, and don’t think about showing up without reservations). Dillon’s food is ultra-local, replete with homemade conserves and cured meats as well as finds from his frequent farmers-market runs. Like many garden-oriented chefs, he can get so dazzled by his ingredients that he forgets to do enough to them, but when it comes to seafood, meats, and other savory dishes that require careful cooking, the chef’s amazing technique shines. $$-$$$ KAUAI FAMILY RESTAURANT 6324 6th Ave. S., 762-3469. Nobody’s serving fruity drinks with umbrellas down in Georgetown, because Kauai Family Restaurant is not a Polynesian lounge. It’s where expat islanders come for plate lunch: two scoops rice, one scoop mac salad, plus down-home versions of loco moco, ginger crispy chicken, adobo, and lau lau (pork and butterfish wrapped in taro leaves and steamed). Ignore the teriyaki-style Hawaiian barbecue; the kalua pork—slowroasted for eight hours in owner Peter Buza’s recreation of a pit oven—comes out smoky, tender, and shredded, the closest thing to North Carolina BBQ you’ll get in the West. Come on Saturday morning and you can grab a bag of malasadas (eggy Portuguese doughnuts). $ MATT’S FAMOUS CHILI DOGS 6615 E. Marginal Way S., 768-0418. On one of the grubbiest corners of Seattle’s industrial district stands one of the city’s culinary magnets. Every weekday from 10 to 5, truckers, hipsters, and slick business types crowd elbow to elbow to chow down on hot dogs, kielbasa, Italian sausage, and tamales, all wrapped in a doughy bun and drenched in Matt’s tangy chili (except the tamale, of course). $

GREEN LAKE

BLUWATER BISTRO 7900 Green Lake Drive N., 524-3985.

Sometimes the yoga-practicing, Whole Foods-shopping denizens of Greenlake have a casual-dining craving that it seems only Applebee’s or TGIFriday’s can staunch. Fortunately, the cheerful BluWater Bistro fills the Thai wing and artichoke dip void for eaters who’ve foresworn massive chains. Service here is friendly, and the food tends to be creamy and competent. The dessert selection is amok with cheap chocolate: Diners who gravitate toward greeting cards whose punchlines involve 3 p.m. chocolate breaks will thrill to the chocolate brownies, chocolate-chip cookies, chocolate fondue and tableside s’mores service. $$

INTERNATIONAL DISTRICT

MIKE’S NOODLE HOUSE 418 Maynard Ave. S., 389-7099.

One of the many noodle houses now en vogue in the ID, Mike’s attracts Chinese and Vietnamese noodle aficionados for its Hong Kong-style wheat noodles—hair-thin, elegantly springy filaments—served in a clear chicken broth with a few yellow chives floating on top. If you

“We’re trying to help people realize we can’t always depend on the supermarket,” Brown says. “If there was an earthquake, it would be quite awhile before King County came to our rescue.” But not every tool user is set on stockpiling rations for a possible disaster: Brown recently lent the library vacuum sealer to a woman who’s planning a backpacking trip; her son proposed she travel with bread frozen in vacuum-sealed plastic bags. Brown says she won’t know whether the scheme worked until the sealer’s returned next week. Although entrusting fancy tools to amateur preservers sounds like the setup for another kind of disaster, Brown says the library’s equipment has always come back in good working condition. “Criminals don’t want to borrow pressure cookers, if you get my drift,” she says. E hraskin@seattleweekly.com

aBLOG ON »FOOD VORACIOUS

SEATTLEWEEKLY.COM/VORACIOUS


want to take your noodles one step further, order the wontons, sui kau (sort of a cross between siu mai and wontons), or the squid balls, whose hollow centers contain a gush of coral-colored, sweet shrimp roe. $ PHNOM PENH NOODLE HOUSE 660 S. King St., 748-9825. When Seattle eaters can’t face one more bowl of pho, but desperately need a steaming hot bowl of broth to see them through yet another chilly day, they tend to turn up at Sam Ung’s outpost of Cambodian cooking. Phnom Penh serves upstanding noodle soups, but eaters who stick around will also discover the sticky chicken wings, grilled short ribs and mee katang, which benefits immensely from a dollop of the house hot sauce of roasted chiles, garlic and dried shrimp paste. (A quarter buys an extra serving if you’re taking your Phnom Penh to go.) Like many Asian restaurant owners, Ung has a harrowing life story. More unusually, he’s written his memoirs in English. The slim book’s sold at the restaurant. $ SAMURAI NOODLE 606 Fifth Ave. S., 624-9321. An all-ramen restaurant with no plastic packets? Yup, Samurai Noodle does it all in-house, serving huge, redolent bowls of broth that took much longer than 90 seconds to concoct (but still make for cheap eats). The house specialty, tonkotsu T H I S CO D E ramen, rivals a bowl of gravy in TO DOWNLOAD THE FREE its richness. Though the recipe SEATTLE WEEKLY is subject to a nondisclosure IPHONE/ANDROID APP agreement with a Japanese FOR MORE RESTAURANTS OR VISIT ramen company, Samurai’s seattleweekly.com chef simmers pork bones for hours, creating an oinky liquor with the color and creaminess of a good cafe au lait. There are other ramens at Samurai, including versions with chicken, soy, seasonal yuzu, and cold-fish broths, but none come so bundled with memories of Christmas dinner. $ SEATTLE DELI 225 12th Ave. S., 328-0106. At this squeakyclean (sometimes literally, since the owners regularly come out to mop around you) Vietnamese deli, it’s hard to narrow down your choices. Should you paw through the stacks of sticky-rice desserts and fresh spring rolls on the counter, or ask the counterpeople to dish up a glass of sweet beans and warm coconut milk? Should you add to your order a puffy fried bread or some toasted-coconut macaroons? It’s easy to fill up a grocery bag with snacks, and for less than $10. But to leave without ordering one of Seattle’s best banh mi—the barbecued pork or the xiu mai (meatball)—stuffed with pickled vegetables and herbs into a warm, crackly roll, you should consider your entire visit a wash. $

SCAN

LESCHI & MADRONA

CAFÉ SOLEIL 1400 34th Ave., 325-1126. Café Soleil’s

MAGNOLIA & INTERBAY

THE SHANTY CAFE 350 Elliott Ave. W., 282-1400. Like a

friendly little truck stop on a stretch of tiresome two-lane trajectory, the Shanty Cafe has a lot of what a working stiff needs and none of what he or she doesn’t. Enter the little-bitty establishment on any morning or afternoon and you’ll find postal workers, road-crew flaggers, accountants, and hairdressers chowing on cheeseburgers, omelets, fish ‘n’ chips, and hearty sandwiches. The hash browns aren’t dripping with fake butter, the eggs come up just the way you ordered them, and the hot meatball sandwich could pretty much save your life on a rainy Sunday. $

NORTH SEATTLE

HT OAKTREE MARKET 10008 Aurora Ave. N., 527-5333.

Where most businesses strive for excellence, HT Oaktree Market revels in its mediocrity. The floors are

Best BBQ Pork In Seattle

PIKE PLACE MARKET

BBQ Pork • Roast Pork • Roast Duck An International International District An District fixture fixture for for over over 38 38 years years Roasted whole pig for special occasions

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on what city you find yourself in or what neighborhood 656 S. King St. • 206-682-4006 you’re wandering through, doner kebab is not always www.kaukaubbq.com easy to find. Gyros, sure, and shawarma is almost BBQPork Pork••Roast Roast Pork Pork •• Roast BBQ RoastDuck Duck as ubiquitous as Big Macs. But doner (also called Roasted wholepig pig for for special occasions Roasted whole special occasions iskender) can be a bit harder to lay hands on, which is ironic because it’s one of the most popular dishes in the 656 S. King St. • 206-682-4006 Turkish canon, and in my opinion the hands-down best. 656 S.www.kaukaubbq.com King St. • 206-682-4006 So it’s a good thing for those living or working within www.kaukaubbq.com hollering distance of Pike Place Market that Turkish Delight—the little family-run, 10-table operation at the far end of the market—not only offers doner but does a really good job with it, cutting big slabs of meat, laying on the tomato sauce, and making a proper meal of it. There are gyros on the menu, too, of course—and shawarma, boreks, soups, and the namesake Turkish delights: gooey little nut, cinnamon, or rosewater candies dusted with powdered sugar. But while any meal at Turkish Delight is guaranteed to be three things—fast, cheap, and hearty—going for the doner adds a fourth promise: It’s going to be awesome. $

QUEEN ANNE

LA LUNA 2 Boston St., 282-2511. The Mexican lounge

takes pride in offering a full page of grub on its bar menu, promoting $2 off during happy hour. Its fare is described as “fine Mexican fusion” that throws in some seafood dishes like seared scallops and crab cakes and tops them with salsa. There’s even a fancied-up version of a grilled cheese sandwich. Without any traditional Mexican decor, it’s hard to tell what La Luna is all about without glancing at its menu. If anything, the lounge offers a more professional atmosphere for Queen Anne residents who are tired of having to dodge the partiers at Peso’s in order to get a taco. $$ PORTAGE 2209 Queen Anne Ave. N., 352-6213. Vuong and Tricia Loc have named their restaurant after their home town of Portage, Michigan, but it’s modeled after the mom-and-pop bistros of small-town France. The small gold room has the subdued comfort of a much tonier place, and Vuong’s menu is filled with gratins, tart tatins, pots au feu, and cassoulets—dated but not forgotten. Modern American cuisine is all about juggling a handful of distinct, discrete flavors (black sesame! grapefruit! basil!). But in Portage’s classic French food, everything converges. So it goes with a dish like Loc’s roast quail stuffed with fennel and walnuts and surrounded by vinegar-spiked onion jam: It’s so robust, so full, that you may find yourself sucking the legs in an inappropriate manner. Dab your lips with your napkin and compose yourself. $$$

RAINIER VALLEY

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CAFE IBEX 3219 Martin Luther King Jr. Way S., 721-7537.

While Little Addis Ababa stresses homeland décor over nouveau design, Café Ibex determinedly plays the New World card. Sure, the food is traditional-colorful veggie and meat platters served on (and with) injera, Ethiopia’s spongy flatbread that doubles as a dining utensil—but the trappings scream Modern Restaurant Monthly. $ OLYMPIC EXPRESS 7101 Martin Luther King Jr. Way S., Ste. 107, 723-2384. Olympic Express is fully committed to making every bite you take totally scrumptious. The banh mi is served on bread so greasy it’s almost a pastry with mayonnaise inside. The egg roll soaks through the bag and the Thai coffee doesn’t skimp on the sweetened-condensed milk. Fried food is delicious regardless of what country it comes from. Olympic Express is no exception. $$

COCKTAILS • TASTY HOT DOGS • LOTSA PINBALL

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Seattle we ekly • AUG U ST 22− 28, 2012

breezy, delicate interior isn’t what you’d expect from an Ethiopian restaurant, but it’s a lovely surprise—as is the menu. The lamb berbere stew is the star: deep, garlicky, tender without being gamey, and spicy without being unpleasant. Chicken tibes is simple but fine, and the tomato-y ginger-shrimp sauté is beautifully executed with plenty of ginger. $ THAT’S AMORE! 1425 31st Ave. S., 322-3677. There are some spectacular vantage points that no one should tell the tourists about. Olympic Sculpture Park: for everyone. Above the I-90 tunnel: just for us. Though its rear window looks across the Rainier Valley to downtown and the Sound, That’s Amore defies every expectation of a “view” restaurant. The place is filled at lunch and dinner with Mount Baker residents, who come for the homey, inexpensive pastas, giant meatballs, juicy roasted pork loin, and the servers, who seem to know every diner’s quirks and preferences. $$

dirty and littered with buckets to catch the drips from the ceiling when it rains. Service is regularly surly, and the produce is wilted more often than not. Yet somehow, HT is greater than the sum of its parts. Perhaps it’s the variety of goods available—an international sampling that covers most of Asia, the Mediterranean, Russia, and Latin America. $ PLAZA LATINA 17964 Aurora Ave. N., 533-9440. Located past rows of pawn shops, strip clubs, casinos, car dealerships, and ‘70s-era hotels, it’s not the most glamorous of shopping strips, but this massive Latin American market warrants a trip north. The spacious shop is stocked with everything you’d need to make a meal of empanadas, arepas, enchiladas, and more. Shelves are lined with jars of chiles and chili paste from around Central and South America, bags of achiote and yerba mate, cans of chimichurri and dulce de leche, dried beans in every shape and size. A couple of freezers to the left as you walk in carry frozen ingredients too tropical to carry fresh, plus a few items, like those arepas, that just An International District fixture for over 38 years need to be heated before eating. There are Costco-sized birthday cakes, and a meat case holding chorizo and longanisa sausages. Fluorescent colored piñatas hang overhead, creating a disjointed party atmosphere. $

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Seattle we ekly • AUG U ST 22− 28, 2012

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New Verse, Same Love

Mary Lambert sings with Macklemore, slams on debut EP. BY KEEGAN PROSSER

It’s a rare summer scorcher in Seattle and Belltown streets are stirring. A parade is about to kick off a few streets east and Third Avenue is already lined with chairs—families fighting for the spot with the best view. Inside Bedlam Coffee the opening notes of Macklemore and Ryan Lewis’ new cut “Same Love,” fill the room. The story goes like this: straight white rapper writes song in support of gay marriage, unknown lesbian singer adds hook, and the buzz begins. But on this afternoon, it’s not the MC’s controversial verses—pointing the finger at rap and religion for being out of touch—sparking conversation. “You know the girl who sings on this track is a Belltown local, right?” one barista chimes in. “Yeah?” “Yeah. She comes in here all the time.” A native of south Everett, 23-year-old Mary Lambert has been making noise in the local scene since graduating from Cornish College of the Arts last year. In addition to being an aspiring musician, she is an accomplished slam poet, with accolades that include competing in Russell Simmons’ Brave New Voices International Competition and being named Seattle’s 2011 Grand Poetry Slam Champion and the 2012 Northwest Regional Slam winner.

“The funny thing is women like us don’t shoot, we swallow pills, still wanting to be beautiful at the morgue, still proceeding to put on makeup, still hoping that the mortician finds us fuckable and attractive.” “I think when I found [spoken word] I was really frustrated in the church and coming out and being in that really weird place.” says Lambert. “And I just wanted to swear a lot.” Known for her compelling words, poignant arrangements and soulful delivery, Lambert is a perfectionist in all sense of the word— something that’s had her working on her debut EP, Letters Don’t Talk, for more than two years. But when the Macklemore camp called saying they needed a voice to tie “Same Love” together, she jumped at the chance. “I feel like I had spent my entire life training for that moment,” Lambert says. A dynamic writer, whose childhood

LAUREN COLTON

KARAOKE WITH DJ FORREST GUMP

»PROFILE

consisted of making songs up on the spot, Lambert excels in high-pressure situations. Whether it be sweet talking customers as a bartender and server, or crafting poetic verses for a new song or slam, she knows how to make it sound right. “I think it’s just that feeling of being a performer and wanting everything to sound flawless,” Lambert explains. Or, she concedes, she’s just really good at faking it—a claim that’s hard to believe when hearing the passion and thoughtfulness with which she sings. “She just has an immense amount of love radiating from her personality, and that’s the best type of person to work with,” Macklemore adds. “It’s rare, you get that type of person in the studio.” Letters Don’t Talk, available now on Bandcamp, and in physical format starting Sept. 1, is starkly different than her verse on “Same Love”—playing to the quieter, more delicate features of her vocal palate. But the standout is the intricately produced “I Know Girls (Body Love),” a pulsing song-poem that has Lambert dropping lines about self-image over thundering bass line and a throbbing beat. “The funny thing is women like us don’t shoot, we swallow pills, still wanting to be beautiful at the morgue, still proceeding to put on makeup, still hoping that the mortician finds us fuckable and attractive,” Lambert spits on the track. The arrangement slants disjunctive, but the message does not: Lambert’s songs, like the singer herself, are tender and bold, heartfelt and heartbreaking. E music@seattleweekly.com MARY LAMBERT With The Cellar Door and Really Old Airplanes. The Crocodile, 2200 Second Ave., 441-4618, thecrocodile.com. $8 adv./$10 DOS. 8 p.m. Wed., Aug. 29. All ages.


music»Reverb »DISPATCHES FROM OUR MUSIC BLOG AT SEATTLEWEEKLY.COM/REVERB

Holiday Heat Wave

Last week the bean/people counters over at Nielsen SoundScan released an interesting report about music consumer habits. The results, I believe, might surprise you. So, let’s put conventional wisdom to the test: 1. What percentage of teens have purchased a CD in the last year?

A. 24 B. 61 C. 12 D. 36 E. 0. Come on, kids have never even seen CDs! 2. Among teenagers, what is the most popular way to access music?

The Head and the Heart sweat out a holiday single.

SHAWN BRACKBILL

Back to School!

Santa’s Little Helpers.

A. CD B. YouTube C. iTunes D. Radio E. Vinyl, baby!

Seattle’s biggest indie-folk sextet The Head and the Heart spent last week’s heat wave—coincidentally some of the few days they’ve been in town since they launched their perpetual tour in 2010—churning out a holiday single. And they’re doing their best to not let the heat get in the way of their holiday cheer. 3. Across all demographics, what is “(Bassist the most popular way people Chris Zasche) discover music? actually brought A. The radio Tune in to 97.3 KIRO FM in a Christmas B. Via friends and relatives every Sunday at 3 p.m. sweater in the C. Through YouTube to hear music editor Chris Kornelis on Seattle Sounds. spirit,” vocalist/ D. Twitter guitarist Jonathan E. Reverb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Russell said over drinks in a sweaty Fremont bar last week, “and 4. What percentage of people aged 18 to that lasted about an hour.” 24 attend at least one music event every The song—the name and intended project month? will be announced in the fall—is a jazz standard A. 70 that’s giving the band a chance to do some B. 19 experimenting in the studio. C. 30 “I’m like, crooning a little bit,” Russell D. 55 says.“It’s kind of fun.” E. 125! “I was worried it was going to be an insufficient attempt to do a jazz standard,” vocalist/ S: ER SW AN guitarist Josiah Johnson says. “And I think teenagers polled 1. D: 36 percent of that we screwed around with it enough that it’s the last year. in CD a d se ha rc pu via ic really rewarding.” us m to n te teens lis 2. B. 64 percent of radio (56), iTunes (53), The band launches what is likely to be their by YouTube, followed last headlining tour in support of its self-titled, and CDs (50) 2010 debut at the Paramount on September they disrespondents said 15, and will stay on the road through the fall— , dio ra 3. A: 48 percent of h ug ro ic primarily th us though probably not long enough to warrant m w ne d d re an ve co friends percent through busting out the holiday cheer. compared to 10 e. ent for YouTub rc pe “I kind of, like, half-wish that we would 7 d an s ive relat 18 to 24 say (play it),” Johnson says. “Maybe at the right ed ag le op pe of t 4. C: 30 percen y month. CK moment.” CHRIS KORNELIS st one show ever they attend at lea

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Former R.E.M. guitarist and current Seattle resident Peter Buck has been chipping away at a solo record since his other band called it splits last year. Scott McCaughey, a longtime friend and collaborator of Buck’s, tells us that the record, simply called Peter Buck, will be as early as next month, possibly in time for Buck’s solo shows with the Young Fresh Fellows at the Sunset, Sept. 21 and 22 (release parties for YFF’s latest, Tiempo De Lujo). Buck’s live band—performing under the moniker “Richard M. Nixon”—features McCaughey and Bill Rieflin, the last man to occupy

the drum throne in R.E.M. In an e-mail, McCaughey said that Buck is singing on the record, and is joined by a host of guest vocalists, including former R.E.M. bassist Mike Mills and Sleater-Kinney’s Corin Tucker. McCaughey lends his vocals as well. Lenny Kaye, longtime member of the Patti Smith Group, appears on guitar. McCaughey says that Portland’s Mississippi Records will release the record, and, at least at first, it will only be available on vinyl. No, there won’t be a download code. CK ckornelis@seattleweekly.com

7PM DOORS • 21+

SHOWBOX AT THE MARKET

SHOWBOX AT THE MARKET 1426 1ST AVENUE :: SHOWBOXONLINE.COM

Seattle we ekly • AUG U ST 22− 28, 2012

Peter Buck’s Tricky Dick

SEPTEMBER 4

33


music»TheShortList

presents at

DIMITRIOU’S

Conor Oberst and the return of Desaparecidos.

2033 6th Avenue (206) 441-9729 j a z z a l l e y. c o m Visit us Online!

Grammy Award – Winning Guitarist with Grammy and Academy Award-Winning Pianist blend Contemporary Jazz & Classical Instrumentation

August 22 - 26

Cyrus Chestnut Trio

Jazz Pianist Rooted in Gospel with Crisp Articulation and Blues-Inflected Harmonies August 28 - 29

Jimmy Cobb, Joey DeFrancesco, Larry Coryell with Special Guest Roberta Gambarini

Jazz Greats Join in Tibute to Jimmy Smith and Wes Montgomery

August 30 – Sept 2

Halie Loren

Rising Jazz Singer – Deep, Warm, Graceful and Somehow Earthy and Ethereal at Once September 4 - 5

Bela Fleck and the Marcus Roberts Trio Inventive Grammy – Winning Banjoist Joins Trio of Classic Jazz Tradition

34

The Lloyd Jones Struggle with Special Guest LaRhonda Steele

Combining New Orleans Rhythms, the Simplicity of Memphis Music and the Rawness of the Blues September 10

Trombone Shorty & Orleans Avenue WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 22

Twenty-six-year-old Troy “Trombone Shorty” Andrews is proof that the tradition of New Orleans-style horn music is not something that any natural disaster or generational gap can wash away. It is one of our country’s most durable—and most underappreciated—genres, and Shorty and his crew are sure to win instant converts. But here’s the real question: Will ZooTunes relax its nagging open container patrols, at least for a night? Because to treat hooch as contraband would be a slap in the face to the Crescent City’s live-and-letstumble spirit. With Robert Randolph & the Family Band. Woodland Park Zoo, 601 N. 59th St., 548-2500. 6 p.m. $26. All ages. MIKE SEELY

The Believer Love Songs for Lamps Cassette Release THURSDAY, AUGUST 23

The current July/August issue of Dave Eggers’ San Francisco lit mag The Believer is the Music Issue, and it comes with a 24-track compilation mix tape curated by Calvin Johnson and mastered at his Dub Narcotic Studio. Don’t have a cassette player? “Go buy one at a thrift store for three dollars,” The Believer advises. The comp includes a select few non-locals—D.C. riot rockers Priests, Sacramento performance artist MOM, New York electroclash outfit Soviet. But Northwest bands rule the day on the tape—the strongest tracks come from Curious Mystery frontwoman Shana Cleveland, lo-fi garage rockers The Shivas, the harmonious LAKE offshoot Baby Island, and the Olympia noise

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LENA WHITTLE

Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 22− 28, 2012

September 6 - 9

ZACH HOLLOWELL

Lee Ritenour with Dave Grusin

Witch Gardens.

rock trio Broken Water, all of whom will appear along with Johnson and a large handful of their compilation peers at tonight’s release show. With Happy Noose, Laura Leif & A.P.B., The Memories, Skrill Meadow, Hysterics, Tomorrow’s Tulips, Katie & the Lichen. Vera Project, 305 Harrison St., 956-8372. 7:30 p.m. $9. All ages. ERIN K. THOMPSON

Desaparecidos SATURDAY, AUGUST 25

This week, two great, politically charged punk-rock bands from around the turn of the millennium hit Seattle on reunion tours: Desaparecidos and Refused (more about them later). Fronted by Bright Eyes’ Conor Oberst, Desaparecidos were a raw-buzzing power-pop band that bent the singer’s caustic whine to topics bigger than himself and his heartache, targeting endless consumerism, the jingoistic patriotism of the early aughts, and the shallowness of a specific sort of American Dream. Nostalgia aside, they couldn’t have picked a better time to reform: the economy sucks, the resentments of the Occupy movement still simmer, and another terrifying election year is upon us. Desaparecidos never sounded more apt. With Virgin Islands. Showbox at the Market, 1426 First Ave., 628-3151. 8 p.m. $22.50 adv./$25 DOS. All ages. ERIC GRANDY

The Physics SATURDAY, AUGUST 25

The Physics’ recorded catalog is a portrait of consistency rarely equaled in rap music. The Seattle trio has gone to great lengths to ensure a high level of quality on each release,

and their third LP, Tomorrow People, doesn’t break tradition. The trademark ease with which MCs Thig “Nat” Natural and Monk Wordsmith grace Just “Justo” D’Amato’s (and a few other premium-grade beatmakers’) polished soul beats makes the work sound easy, and on tracks like “So Funky,” “Take a Win,” and “Drink With You,” the gang handily ups the ante for chilled-out groove-rap. Some of the town’s smoothest collaborators show up on TP, and the lineup for the album’s release show tonight is no different. With The Bar, Brothers From Another, Jake One. Neumos, 925 E. Pike St., 709-9467. 8 p.m. $12. All ages. TODD HAMM

Refused TUESDAY, AUGUST 28

The second of this week’s reformed leftist rock outfits (along with Desaparecidos on Saturday), Refused espoused a politics that was both more baldly ambitious and more universal— nothing short of the destruction/subversion of global capitalism and the total liberation of self, rather than just some jabs at the Mall of America. Most people, though, will remember them not for their Situationist-derived sloganeering as much as for their searing guitar riffs, thudding rhythm section, and singer Dennis Lyxzén’s high-kicking combustibility. To MTV, it looked like a way to make nu-metal cool; to punks, it looked like a way to make Nation of Ulysses profitable. To anyone who missed it the first time, it’s a bomb still waiting to blow you away. With Sleigh Bells. Showbox SoDo, 1700 First Ave. S., 652-0444. 6:30 p.m. $35 adv./$40 DOS. All ages. ERIC GRANDY

EDITOR’S PICK

CAIRO VIBRATIONS FESTIVAL SATURDAY, AUGUST 25

Vibrations is the ultimate chiller fest—a one-day, free, outdoor event with no super-huge names eliminates worrying about money, sleeping in grimy campgrounds, and contending with packed crowds. And that lack of big names by no means lessens the quality of the music being featured. The in-the-know people at Cairo have curated a remarkably strong lineup of some of Seattle’s most interesting artists—from Erik Blood (see page 31), whose recently released Touch Screens is already one of the most talked-about local records of the year; to the psych-rockers of Night Beats; Seattle Weekly’s recently crowned Best New Band Detective Agency; the Truckasaurus video project Dantasia; and the pop quartet Witch Gardens, who are just beginning to resurface on the live circuit after spending much of the past few months working on their upcoming LP I’d Rather Be Alone; there’s not a miss on this bill. With King Dude, White Rainbow & OCnotes, Secret Colors & USF, Stickers. Volunteer Park, 1247 15th Ave. E., 684-4555. 1 p.m. Free. All ages. ERIN K. THOMPSON


THIS FRIDAY!

AUG 24

8PM DOORS • 21+ SHOWBOX AT THE MARKET

Performing Neil Diamond’s 1972 live double album “Hot August Night” in its entirety!

SHOWBOX AT THE MARKET 1426 1ST AVENUE :: SHOWBOXONLINE.COM

tractor www.tractortavern.com

5213 BALLARD AVE. NW • 789-3599

WED, AUG 22 •9PM ~ $10 ADV / $12 DOS TRADITIONAL AMERICANA & FOLK DUO

BROWN BIRD

SPOONSHINE

THU, AUG 23 • 8:30PM ~ $10 ADV / $12 DOS SQUARE PEG CONCERTS PRESENTS

MON, AUG 27 • 7:30PM ~ $6

MONDAY SQUARE DANCE FEAT. MUSIC BY

THE TALLBOYS

HELLACIOUS SQUARE DANCING STARTS AT 8PM! TUE, AUG 28 • 9PM ~ $8 INDIE ROCK SINGER / SONGWRITER

SAMMY STEELE BAND

JOEL RL PHELPS & THE DOWNER TRIO CHRIS BROKAW OF CODEINE, ZEBRA HUNT

FRI, AUG 24 • 9:30PM ~ $10 ADV / $12 DOS COUNTRY-TINGED AMERICANA

WED, AUG 29 • 9PM ~ $6 LOCAL ROCK & POP

THE BAND OF HEATHENS LERA LYNN

CAROUSEL, MIDNIGHT SALVAGE CO

SAT, AUG 25 • 9:30PM ~ $10

THU, AUG 30 • 9PM ~ $12

LOCAL COUNTRY & AMERICANA

LUCKY LAWRENCE & THE SOUVENIRS

THE RAINIEROS

THE OUTLAWS - A TRIBUTE TO WAYLON JENNINGS

NO GHOST

THE TRACTOR & KBCS 91.3FM PRESENT HARDCORE LATIN FUNK

BROWNOUT

ORKESTAR ZIRKONIUM

TIMES LISTED ARE SHOW TIMES. DOORS OPEN 30-60 MINUTES BEFORE

U& PMING: COMIN

8/31 KNUT BELL & THE BLUE COLLARS,MASSY FERGUSON,THE SWEARENGENS 9/1 Jerry Garcia Celebration feat. ANDY COE BAND, KULI LOACH 9/2 KASEY ANDERSON AND THE HONKIES, SPECIAL GUEST 9/4 POKEY LaFARGE AND THE SOUTH CITY THREE, ALIALUJAH CHOIR 9/5 SLAID

CLEAVES, ELIZA GILKYSON 9/6 Monqui presents an evening with SLOAN performing “Twice Removed” in it’s entirety 9/7 SUPERHUMANOIDS, JJAMZ, NOUELA 9/8 The Tractor & Debra Heesch present ALESSANDRA ROSE album release party, SMOKEY BRIGHTS, JASON DODSON 9/8 The Tractor & STG present at the Neptune Theater TRAMPLED BY TURTLES, ERIK KOSKINEN 9/9 HAZEL reunion show 9/10 MONDAY SQUARE DANCE with THE TALLBOYS

Seattle we ekly • AUG U ST 22− 28, 2012

CODY CANADA & THE DEPARTED (FORMERLY OF CROSS CANADIAN RAGWEED)

35


seven»nights

dinner & show

WED/AUGUST 22 • 8PM NEW AMERIKAN THEATRE PRESENTS

the deadliest instruments

THU/AUGUST 23 • 7:30PM

broad comedy kristin hersh

w/ joachim nordensson

LAUREN SILBERMAN

FRI/AUGUST 24 • 8PM

Nicky Da B hits Chop Suey on Wednesday, Aug. 22.

Wednesday, August 22 SAT/AUGUST 25 • 7PM & 10:15PM SQUARE PEG PRESENTS

craig shoemaker: the lovemaster SUN/AUGUST 26 • 8PM

Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 22− 28, 2012

36

next • 8/27 “beautiful things”: arts aftercare benefit featuring jubilee • 8/26 the bobs: 30 years to life • 8/28 j. wong’s singer songwriter showcase • 8/29 cahalen morrison and eli west • 8/30 kris and scott’s scott and kris show! • 8/31 the main attraction • 9/1 the brian nova labor day party • 9/2 kris and scott’s scott and kris show!

fonts and inscrutable death-metal logos, a zombie on the flyer, and sponsorships from both Peavey and Ibanez— expect brutality, gore, double kick drums, cookie-monster vocals, and ear-piercing shrillness. With Between the Buried and Me, The Faceless, Periphery, Veil of Maya, Job for a Cowboy, Goatwhore, Exhumed, Cerebral Bore. Showbox SoDo, 1700 First Ave. S., 652-0444, showboxonline.com. 1:55 p.m. $29.50 adv./$30 DOS. All ages. NICKY DA B & PARIS At the forefront of New Orleans’ “bounce” hip-hop scene, this MC is best known for “Express Yourself,” a collaboration with Diplo. With Rusty Lazer. Chop Suey, 1325 E. Madison St., 324-8005, chopsuey.com. 8 p.m. $8. SONNY BONOHO This local rapper’s juvenile humor (his latest release is titled the Vag EP) fits well with that of his frequent collaborator, D12 leader Bizarre. With Th3rd, Esseno, Petatosh. Barboza, 925 E. Pike St., 709-9951, thebarboza.com. 9 p.m. Free until 10 p.m./$5 after. SPINDRIFT This five-piece plays psychedelic rock with an aesthetic that evokes the Old West. With Rose Windows, Kingdoms of the Sun. Comet Tavern, 922 E. Pike St., 322-9272, comettavern.com. 9 p.m. $8.

Thursday, August 23 LUKE RAIN A local rapper, producer, and avid Seahawks

• 8/22 the gloria darlings / fawcett symons and fogg • 8/23 naomi laviolette / jason sees • 8/24 the max holmberg trio / junior on the prowl • 8/25 out to lunch (ny) • 8/26 wes weddell band • 8/27 free funk union w/ d’vonne lewis and adam kessler • 8/28 singer-songwriter showcase w/ abi grace, jeremy serwer and chris mathews jr • 8/29 flip and fly / fascination nation TO ENSURE THE BEST EXPERIENCE

PLEASE ARRIVE EARLY DOORS OPEN 1.5 HOURS PRIOR TO FIRST SHOW ALL-AGES (BEFORE 9:30PM)

thetripledoor.net 216 UNION STREET, SEATTLE 206.838.4333

fan, Rain released the Rain Shine EP earlier this year. With Graves 33, Bigtime, The Neighbrohood, Anthony Carlton, Si Young, Billy the Kid. Nectar Lounge, 412 N. 36th St., 632-2020, nectarlounge.com. 8 p.m. $5 adv./$7 DOS. NEIGHBORS On June’s John in Babeland, this four-piece shows its aptitude for scuzzy power-pop. With the Myonics, Palm Reader, Mitts. Funhouse, 206 Fifth Ave. N., 374-8400, thefunhouseseattle.com. 9:30 p.m. $5. ORCA TEAM Come September, this local surf-pop three-piece will play a series of East Coast shows with Stereolab’s Laetitia Sadier. With Bandolier, Still Caves, Summer Babes. Sunset Tavern, 5433 Ballard Ave. N.W., 784-4880, sunsettavern.com. 9 p.m. $7. SI LIMON This trio plays Latin jazz mixed with Afro-Cuban rhythms. Rogue & Peasant, 3601 Fremont Ave. N., therogueandpeasant.com. 9 p.m. $5.

Friday, August 24 CONSTANT LOVERS This local four-piece plays primal

punk rock, rounded out by frontman Joel Cuplin’s throat-shredding vocals. With Mass Games, Mongrel Blood. Barboza. 7 p.m. $8.

tion of no-frills, everyman hip-hop. With RA Scion, Neema, Fearce & BeanOne, DJ DV One. The Crocodile, 2200 Second Ave., 441-7416, thecrocodile.com. 8 p.m. $10. All ages. IVAN & ALYOSHA Named after characters from Dostoevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov, this folk-pop group released the Bon Iver–channeling The Cabin Sessions EP in June. With Big Sur, Motopony. The Neptune, 1303 N.E. 45th St., 784-4849, stgpresents.org. 9 p.m. $12 adv./$14 DOS. All ages.

JOSÉ MANDOJANA

the bobs “30 years to life”

CANNIBAL CORPSE Nine bands with blood-dripping

GRYNCH March’s Perspective continues this rapper’s tradi-

Ivan & Alyosha play the Neptune on Friday, Aug. 24. PASSION PARTY This local satirical hip-hop act’s latest is

the Unihorn EP. With Ancient Heat, Lush Tones. High Dive, 513 N. 36th St., 632-0212, highdiveseattle.com. 9:30 p.m. $7. ROYCE THE CHOICE This Seattle MC has quietly released three mixtapes since 2010, each packed with his distinct punch-line lyricism, and each noticeably better than the last. His new GMK-produced EP, Razorr Ramone, is another step in the right direction, and one that’s apparently earned the cosign of tonight’s hosts, Shabazz Palaces. With Keyboard Kid, Malitia Malimob, Porter Ray, Nacho Picasso, hosted by Shabazz Palaces. Neumos, 925 E. Pike St., 709-9467, neumos.com. 8 p.m. $10. SUPER DIAMOND Nobody doesn’t like Neil Diamond, so a Neil Diamond tribute act is probably one of the safest and most lucrative this side of Elvis (or El Vez); Super Diamond aim to best your mp3 player, jukebox, or karaoke version by supplying all the spectacle of Neil Diamond without any of the Neil. Showbox at the Market, 1426 First Ave., 628-3151, showboxonline.com. 8 p.m. $20 adv./$25 DOS. Send events to music@seattleweekly.com See seattleweekly.com for full listings = Recommended, NC = no charge, AA = all ages.

Saturday, August 25 DEAD GHOST This Vancouver, B.C., quartet’s jangly

garage rock recalls the Black Lips. With Detective Agency, Dads. JewelBox/Rendezvous, 2322 Second Ave., 441-5823, jewelboxtheater.com. 10 p.m. $5. IN CAHOOTS This power-pop group was recently featured in a local film, Never, which will come out next year. With Royal We. Rogue & Peasant. 9 p.m. $5. JAR OF FLIES This Alice in Chains cover band kicks off a night of grunge nostalgia, with support from fellow cover outfits Outshined (Soundgarden) and Vitalogy (Pearl Jam). The Crocodile. 8 p.m. $10. SEATTLE ROCK ORCHESTRA At this show, these local symphonic rockers take on the music of Arcade Fire. The Neptune. 9 p.m. $20 adv./$23 DOS. All ages.

Sunday, August 26 THE BOBS This show will act as a retrospective

for this a capella group’s more than 30-year career. Triple Door, 216 Union St., 838-4333, thetripledoor.net. 8 p.m. $20 adv./$23 DOS. All ages. RAT CITY RUCKUS Fittingly, this party-happy White Center punk band lists Jose Cuervo as its general manager. With Speed Whiskey, Posse Impossible. Comet Tavern. 9 p.m. $5.

Monday, August 27 DEVILWOOD This Ellensburg five-piece plays

psychedelic-tinged roots and country music. With Wayland, Scruffalo. High Dive. 8 p.m. $6. THE HATE MY DAY JOBS NYC garage-rock group’s latest is 2010’s Out of Control. With Mugen Hoso, Death Mountain Rotor Cloud. Funhouse. 9:30 p.m. $5. MARC GARTMAN Guitarist and banjoist Gartman headlines a full bill of songwriters from Duluth, Minn. With Amy Abts, Mary Blue, Kyle Maclean. JewelBox/ Rendezvous. 9 p.m. $6.

Tuesday, August 28 SANDRO PERRI The latest from Toronto producer and

electronic musician Perri was last year’s overlooked Impossible Spaces. Sunset Tavern. 9 p.m. $8 adv./ $10 DOS. SOUL JELLY This local nine-piece blends funk, soul, and R&B. With Unko Funki, Lanford Black. Nectar Lounge. 8 p.m. $5.


music»Karaoke Karaoke Listings

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2103 N. 45th St., Seattle, 545-8363, changesinwallingford.com, Free, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Sundays, 9 p.m. DANTE’S 5300 Roosevelt Way N.E., Seattle, 525-1300, dantesseattle.com, Free, Mondays, 9 p.m. Send events to karaoke@seattleweekly.com

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12-4

Seattle we ekly • AUG U ST 22− 28, 2012

Last Wednesday, I checked out Valhalla Bar and Grill in Kirkland, a new spot where my friend Steven Butler hosts. Although there was next to nobody there, I found it to be a great place to sing—a long, dimly lit room with high ceilings and a big wraparound bar in the middle. The karaoke stage is the dance floor. Disco and laser lights establish a club atmosphere. The best feature is a stage cam that occasionally interrupts the 60-inch lyrics screen above with a wide image of the singer’s performance. In the two hours I was there, only five people sang. It was me, Steven, my buddy Juan, Steven’s friend Rachelle, and this dude in his late 40s named Frank sitting at the bar. Rotation 1: Steven started with “Let Her Cry” by Hootie & the Blowfish. His vocal abilities have really come a long way since that first time I saw him, two years ago at Atlantic Crossing for the Karaoke World Championships. He sang with control and was totally in key. If that contest ever comes around again, I’m confident he won’t have to strip to his underwear—Risky Business style— to secure a spot in the state finals again. I tried Cream’s “Badge,” a number I’d never done before, and was reminded how well I do Eric Clapton. I decided to stick with just his songs for the rest of the night. Rachelle’s warm-up, Patsy Cline’s “Crazy,” demonstrated she had skills. Juan’s first offering was CCR’s “Have You Ever Seen the Rain” and it was solid. Frank sang “Fire and Rain” by James Taylor. He had a decent voice and used the plug-one-ear technique to stay in key. Rotation 2: Steven delivered another strong performance with the Classics IV oldie

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KaraoKeKorrespondent “Spooky.” My next number was “Wonderful Tonight.” It started out shaky. I was too focused on reading the screen. The moment I remembered I actually knew the song by heart, I went on to crush it. Rachelle’s second number was some Liza Minnelli number from Cabaret. Show tunes should be stricken from all karaoke books. Juan tried Jimmy Buffett’s “Margaritaville” and Frank proved himself to be a wild card, coming through with a randomly great rendition of the Emerson, Lake, & Palmer classic “From the Beginning.” Rotation 3: Steven kept rolling with some Creedence of his own, “Lodi.” I challenged myself with the original Derek & the Dominos’ “Layla” and the fast pace proved too much for me to handle. Juan, too, got in over his head with “House of the Rising Sun.” Rachelle redeemed herself with Christina Aguilera’s “Beautiful.” Frank did Clapton’s “Cocaine.” I was a little annoyed that he jumped in on my theme, but since Steven sang the artist Juan sang, I couldn’t make a fuss. Rotation 4: I set out to outdo Frank and succeeded with a rock-solid “Lay Down Sally.” Then Frank committed the ultimate karaoke no-no and sang “Wonderful Tonight,” repeating a song someone else had sung. It made me wonder if he was trying to me show me up. But it wasn’t nearly as good as mine, so I shrugged it off. Rotation 5: Frank finally gave up on Clapton and ended his night with Otis Redding, “(Sittin’ On) The Dock of the Bay.” And after Steven goofed off with the Bee Gees’ “Stayin’ Alive,” I put everything I had into my final performance: “Tears in Heaven.” It was anticlimactic. The song is a total bore to sing. E

LLECTIVE

37


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t had been almost a year and a half since we’d seen The Renton Herbalist, Sean, who delivers connoisseur-grade cannabis to the metro Seattle area. Sean’s strain menu has transformed over the ensuing 16 months, and with a new and potent lineup waiting to be sampled, I knew it was time to get another delivery. The Herbalist’s herbs are organically grown, flushed with purified water for 10 days prior to harvest to remove any fertilizer, air-dried, and cured in mason jars. Not only haven’t they been shaken or kiefed, these buds have been babied, bro—there’s not a calyx or a red hair out of place. Sean was exactly on time with the delivery; this dude is solid and reliable, not at all like the “Oh, when is he gonna BE here?” type. Like last year, I tried four of the Herbalist’s finest strains; there was no overlap with last year’s selections. I went for Blueberry Hash Plant, an indica dominant; Jacky White, a sativa dominant;

These buds have been babied, bro— there’s not a calyx or a red hair out of place. BC God Bud, an indica; and Raspberry Kush, an indica dominant. Just for good measure, I also sampled a couple grams of The Renton Herbalist’s Full Melt Bubble Hash. First things first: The Blueberry Hash Plant was the cream of the crop; it’s some of the best weed I’ve smoked this month. Terpenewise, the smell seemed to average itself out somewhere between the fruity sweetness of Blueberry and the dankness of Hash Plant. The taste and bouquet of these flowers are

x

BY STEVE ELLIOTT

absolutely delightful upon the lips and nose. When I’ve been sampling both flowers and medibles all day long, and a strain still bulldozes over my background cannabinoid level and makes me say “Wow!” I am properly impressed. Two other patients, Sheri and Renae, confirmed my impression of Blueberry Hash Plant’s high quality. The Jacky White (Jack Herer x White Widow) wasn’t far below the Blueberry Hash Plant in sheer power, but its oomph was of the energetic sativa variety. Jacky is an aesthetic delight. The flowers are quite chunky for a sativa-dominant strain, and are absolutely frosty with trichomes. The strain has just a hint of indica to take off the racy sativa edge, and offers a clear, mind-expanding high and a rich, citrusy taste. BC God Bud, while yummysmelling and effective, is more subtle. It doesn’t offer the swift smackdown of Blueberry Hash Plant or the sudden euphoria of Jacky White; it’s a bit of a creeper. But if you toke it in a quiet, peaceful environment—think headphones and your favorite music—it does produce a calm, centered feeling and pain relief. If you are the person who prizes a sensation of inner peace, God Bud may be for you. Then there’s the Raspberry Kush, which was deeply purple, sparkly and pungently inviting. I know, I know: Raspberry Kush usually has only a hint of purple, but these flowers are purple all over, with lots of glittery trichomes. The strain offers a solid, pain-relieving indica high and a sweet and fruity taste. The Renton Herbalist delivers anywhere in King County, plus as far south as Tacoma and as far east as Puyallup in Pierce County. E

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dategirl»By Judy McGuire dategirl»By Judy McGuire Get the 411, Hon Get the 411, Hon Dear Dategirl, One of my closest friends is about 10 years Dear Dategirl, older than I (so she’s in her late 40s). Lately, One of my closest friends is about 10 years it seems like she’s gotten lost in the land of older than I (so she’s in her late 40s). Lately, internet dating. Two months ago she traveled it seems like she’s gotten lost in the land of to another state to camp with a married guy, internet dating. Two months ago she traveled whom she broke up with after he didn’t to another state to camp with a married guy, leave his wife as promised. But the whom she broke up with after he didn’t scary thing is, their first date was leave his wife as promised. But the at a campground with no phone/ scary thing is, their first date was internet signal. What if something at a campground with no phone/ had happened to her? As far as internet signal. What if something I know, she didn’t give anyone had happened to her? As far as his information, so she could’ve I know, she didn’t give anyone been murdered and nobody his information, so she could’ve would’ve even known where to been murdered and nobody start looking for the body. would’ve even known where to Now she’s disappeared for start looking for the body. days with another out-of-towner Now she’s disappeared for who came to stay at her place. Last days with another out-of-towner night she canceled our dinner plans by who came to stay at her place. Last text when I was already waiting for her at the night she canceled our dinner plans by restaurant. text when I was already waiting for her at the I’m all for her finding love (or, at the very restaurant. least, some great sex), but I’m worried that I’m all for her finding love (or, at the very this may be a pattern and I’m not sure how least, some great sex), but I’m worried that to handle it. She’s not only neglecting our this may be a pattern and I’m not sure how friendship, but I know she’s also having to handle it. She’s not only neglecting our trouble at work because she’s taking too much friendship, but I know she’s also having time off. Should I be: a) distant and positive; trouble at work because she’s taking too much b) full-on supportive; c) express my concerns; time off. Should I be: a) distant and positive; or d) just mind my own damn business? I’m b) full-on supportive; c) express my concerns; inclined to do “d”. or d) just mind my own damn business? I’m —Jealous or Just Plain Pissed Off? inclined to do “d”. —Jealous or Just Plain Pissed Off?

I’ve mocked friends for being too scared to try online dating because they’re afraid I’ve mocked friends for being too scared they’ll end up with some rapey dude at to try online dating because they’re afraid Starbucks, but your friend is going in the they’ll end up with some rapey dude at exact opposite direction and actively courtStarbucks, but your friend is going in the ing danger. Meeting a married stranger at exact opposite direction and actively courta campground? Inviting some other dude ing danger. Meeting a married stranger at to stay at her house? Oy vey. Whatever a campground? Inviting some other dude happened to cocktails or coffee? to stay at her house? Oy vey. Whatever happened to cocktails or coffee?

T S E N T E R TA I N M E N T

There seem to be two separate things at play here. The first is that you’re feeling There seem to be two separate things at neglected, which I totally get. The first few play here. The first is that you’re feeling weeks (or sometimes months) of a relationneglected, which I totally get. The first few ship can be all-consuming, especially as it weeks (or sometimes months) of a relationwould seem that your friend hasn’t gotten ship can be all-consuming, especially as it much action prior to this recent spate. would seem that your friend hasn’t gotten I used to let things like this simmer, much action prior to this recent spate. which is stupid, because then you end up I used to let things like this simmer, yelling at the person, when really, which is stupid, because then you end up a simple “woman, quit taking yelling at the person, when really, our friendship for granted” a simple “woman, quit taking talk could suffice. You want our friendship for granted” her to be happy; you just talk could suffice. You want want to see her once in a her to be happy; you just while. Completely underwant to see her once in a standable. while. Completely underWhat’s not understandstandable. able is that she keeps putWhat’s not understandting herself in these crazy able is that she keeps putsituations. If she were a ting herself in these crazy naive Amish teen on situations. If she were a Rumspringa, I could kind of naive Amish teen on see her thinking that a rustic Rumspringa, I could kind of weekend with some nice fella she see her thinking that a rustic met on the interwebs would be a good idea. weekend with some nice fella she But she’s a grown-ass woman, so this is met on the interwebs would be a good idea. completely puzzling behavior. But she’s a grown-ass woman, so this is Even though these two guys have turned completely puzzling behavior. out to be relatively benign (I guess), why Even though these two guys have turned does she keep putting herself in these out to be relatively benign (I guess), why situations? She must not think she deserves does she keep putting herself in these a guy who’s single or solvent enough to pay situations? She must not think she deserves for a hotel room, which is really fucking sad. a guy who’s single or solvent enough to pay You can’t fix her low self-esteem, but maybe for a hotel room, which is really fucking sad. if you diplomatically point out that you’re You can’t fix her low self-esteem, but maybe worried about her, the next time she goes if you diplomatically point out that you’re off into the woods with a stranger, she’ll give worried about her, the next time she goes you his 411. E off into the woods with a stranger, she’ll give dategirl@seattleweekly.com you his 411. E dategirl@seattleweekly.com

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COLUMBIA CITY Starting in the $900s NEW 1 & 2 bedroom apartments, walk to Light Rail! GreenHouse in Columbia City, Roof Deck, Res Lounge, P-Patches, Parking. Starting in the $900s. GreenHouse-Apts.com 888-553-5621 Pioneer Square $700 Your new downtown home! Bright studio in one of Pioneer Square's classic brick apartment buildings. w/s/g included, on-site laundry. Two blocks from King Street station - almost every bus in town, Light rail, and easy access to freeways. Walking score of 98! Call today 206-652-0744 UNIVERSITY DISTRICT 2 bedrooms starting at $1,300 3 bedroom starting at $1,450 5 min. to UW. Parking available! (206) 441-4922

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Two Ocean Front Homes 20% OFF DISCOUNT* Newport Oregon Area Fully Furnished. Private beach access. Pets OK. Sleep 9-14 $225/Night Mid Week Discounts Available. (*Excludes Holidays). 503-678-1144

365 Comm Rentals TACOMA $1,500-$2,000 2990 square foot COMMERCIAL property, former coffeeshop. Rent/terms negotiable. 723 East 34th Street. (206)300-7690

bulletin board 527 Legal Notices Cellco Partnership and its controlled affiliates doing business as Verizon Wireless (Verizon Wireless) proposes to place a 35-foot COW/COLT Communications Tower at a temporary cellular site. Anticipated lighting application is medium intensity dual red/white strobes. The Site location is 800 Occidental Avenue S, Seattle, King County, WA, 98104, 47 35’ 48”, 122 19’ 51”. The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) Antenna Structure Registration (ASR, Form 854) filing number is A0782350. ENVIRONMENTAL EFFECTS – Interested persons may review the application (www.fcc.gov/asr/applications) by entering the filing number. Environmental concerns may be raised by filing a Request for Environmental Review (www.fcc.gov/asr/environmentalrequest) and online filings are strongly encouraged. The mailing address to file a paper copy is: FCC Requests for Environmental Review, Attn: Ramon Williams, 445 12th Street SW, Washington, DC 20554.

537 Child Adoption PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby's One True Gift Adoptions 866-413-6293 (Void in Illinois) (AAN CAN)

595 Volunteers University of Washington MAPP Research Study Are you a male over 18 years old? Do you experience chronic fatigue? Are you currently in a period of fatigue? If so, you may be eligible to participate in a UW study! Contact the research coordinator at mapprc@uw.edu or 206.616.4497 for more information. Note we cannot guarantee the confidentiality of any information sent via email. Look up our study at www.ClinicalTrials.gov (search for NCT01098279).

We are the Northwest’s Largest Residential Tree Care Company Evergreen Tree Care is A+ Rated with the BBB and has been in business in the Northwest since 1986!

We are on track for 30% growth this year and looking for more Outdoor Marketing/Appointment Setting Reps

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BACK PAGE • 206.623.6231 ®

New! Increased Compensation for 1st Time Egg Donors! Get paid for giving infertile couples the chance to have a baby. Women 21-31 and in good health are encouraged to apply. Compensation up to $4,500.

Email Amy.Smith@integramed.com or call 206-301-5000 Greenwood Smile Dental Better Care, Better Smile

Dr. Hailun Wu DMD Implants, Crowns, Dentures Root Canal Therapy Invisalign Braces TMJ & Car Accident Treatment Full Mouth Reconstruction

Singing Lessons FreeTheVoiceWithin.com Janet Kidder 206-781-5062 ACTORS/MOVIE EXTRAS Needed immediately for upcoming roles $150-$300 /day depending on job requirements. No experience, all looks needed. 1-800-560-8672 for casting times /locations.

MOST CASH PAID 4 GOLD JEWELRY 20%-50% MORE 24/7 CASH 425.891.1385

WWW.KIRKLANDGOLDBUYER.COM WANTS TO purchase minerals and other oil & gas interests. Send details to P.O. Box 13557, Denver, Co 80201 HELP WANTED!! Extra income! Mailing Brochures from home! Free supplies! Genuine opportunity! No experience required. Start immediately! TheMailingProgram.com BELLTOWN $700-$755 Studios $700 1 bed starting $755 2 blocks to Pike Place Market & Westlake Center. Light and airy, views, storage. 206-441-4922

SILLY SISTERS

JOYFUL HOUSECLEANING 206-367-0375

Private Investigator Butler Investigations 206-257-0552

Sri Tathata in Portland September 7-9

We are excited that Sri Tathata, an Indian spiritual master from southern India is coming to Portland as part of a World Peace Tour 2012! The Dharma Portland Association will sponsor an event featuring Sri Tathata’s teachings, meditations, a World Peace Prayer, bhajans (sacred music and chanting) and practices to aid in the upliftment of individual and collective consciousness.

DharmaPortland.org

Seattle weekly • AU GU ST 22− 28, 2012

Decisions to Make? www.SpiritualCompany.com

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IT IS TIME FOR SUBTRACTION! MAUM MEDITATION Free Introductory Lectures Federal Way Center: Every Sat @ 3p RSVP: 253-520-2080 www.MaumFederalWay.org Lynnwood Center: Every Thu @ 7p RSVP: 425-336-0754 www.MaumLynnwood.org

Open Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday - 9am-5:30pm

Accepts Most Insurances 8308 Greenwood Ave. N. Seattle, WA 98103 www.greenwoodsmiledental.com

206-783-7305

CASH FOR CARS:

Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808 www.cash4car.com

7th Annual Hoquiam On Track Art Festival Celebrating the importance of arts in our community,

August 25-26, 10-6 Saturday & 10-4 Sunday. There is something for everyone with local and regional artists, live entertainment and workshops with various artists! Come down and visit us for the weekend and enjoy great art. 8th and Levee, Hoquiam, WA. www.CityofHoquiam.com

UNIVERSITY DISTRICT 2 bedrooms starting at $1,300 3 bedroom starting at $1,450

5 min. to UW. Parking available! (206) 441-4922

Design Theory Rare + Vintage Jewelry Seattle Location Closing Sale Design Theory is going digital! The Seattle location is closing and we are having an in-store only moving sale of 40% off to 75% off the entire inventory. August 25th is your last chance to see the rare and vintage jewelry before we go to a digital and trunk show format. We will be open through Saturday the 25th from 12:00pm-6:00pm. www.TheDesignTheory.com

CONGRATULATIONS CHASE & RAE! TWO PEAS IN A MUTHA F'N POD! $$$HELP WANTED$$$ Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operators Now! 1-800-405-7619 EXT 2450 EasyWork-GreatPay.com

Donate Your Car, Truck or Motorcycle! Support Big Brothers Big Sisters of Puget Sound FREE PICK UP OF MOST USED VEHICLES Tax Deductible. (206) 248-5982 Adoption: Active Doctors, Playful Pups, LOVE & Laughter, Stay Home Parent Yearns for 1st Baby. Expenses Paid. Brent & Keri 1-888-411-0530

ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http://www.Roommates.com. (AAN CAN)

BEAUTIFUL CZECH

ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Roommates.com *REDUCE YOUR CABLE BILL! * Get a 4-Room All-Digital Satellite system installed for FREE and programming starting at $19.99/mo. FREE HD/DVR upgrade for new callers, CALL NOW. 1-800-925-7945

ANNA'S MED HEALTH SPADeep tissue, Relaxing,Chinese healing massage. 425-747-2288 10Am-10Pm 1550 140th Avenue NE, Suite 200 Bellevue

The Well: Forum on Marriage Equality

REI Bellingham Traverse

DONATE YOUR CAR!

BellinghamTraverse.com

Queen Anne UMC's welcome statement includes sexual orientation because we know that the LGBTQI community has been especially unwelcome in Christian communities. On August 30, we will explore how Christians can participate in the effort to support marriage equality and also improve public discourse with clear headed thinking paired with kind but clear language. Special guest Rep. Jamie Pederson will be speaking. QAUMC.org/the-well/ Tax Write-off/Fast Pickup Running or not. Cancer Fund Of America. (888) 269-6482

DIVORCE from $229 BANKRUPTCY from $299

Debt relief agency for bankruptcy. 206-625-0460

Living Elements Landscaping

Living Elements Landscaping cares about the communities we work, live and play in. We're all about locals helping locals. Encouraging our neighbors to live sustainable lives is something we enjoy doing everyday. That's why special consideration is given to the natural shapes and forms of your landscape to ensure a balanced job that delicately weighs the relationship between well-kept and naturally lush. We take pride in our holistic, permacultural based approach. Some of the other services we offer include planting, fence building and clean up. Our expert staff is professional, hard working and always on-time. Operating out of the Eastside and in West Seattle. Call Today (425) 466-5981 BECOME A BARTENDER! Up to $300 a day. No exp necessary. Training Courses Available. 1-800-965-6520 x 309.

ADVANCED MASSAGE For chronic pain/tension relief 17 years exp. Strictly therapeutic massage. 206-547-0420 LMP# MA00007985

Bellingham Traverse is a multi-sport event celebrating the life-cycle of wild salmon and the natural and urban challenges of their journey. Solo, tandem and relay teams challenge themselves and one another on a rugged course that highlights the City of Bellingham's Parks, Greenways System, bike-friendly roads, and open water opportunities for recreation. Check out maps of each leg and watch NWTraverse TV to see what you're missing at

TRAVEL TODAY and GET PAID!

$500 Sign-on Bonus! Seeking Motivated Guys/Gals. Adventurous Fun Environment. Commission Sales. Lacey 888-451-9904

Movie Extras Make up to $300/day. No Experience required. All looks and ages. Call (866) 339-0331

Game Over:

Failed Alternative Video Games Famous graphic novels re-imagined as failed videogame adaptations. On view through Wednesday, September 5th at The Fantagraphics Bookstore & Gallery 1201 S. Vale Street at Airport Way S. Open daily 11:30 to 8:00 PM, Sundays until 5:00 PM. 206.658.0110. Fantagraphics.com

God Gifted Psychic Readings

Vivian Swan can solve all impossible problems. Reuniting lovers. Helps overcome all difficulties. Transforms obstacles into opportunities. 110% Successfull Guaranteed! Call (817) 724-6453 today for complimentary reading!

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WOMEN

Bumbershoot Pull-Out Guide

For long term relationship. (10-30 years younger) well educated and lovingly devoted.

in next week’s 8/29 issue! Featuring a comprehensive guide to before, during, and after the festival, both on and off-site!

www.easterneuropewomen.com

(360) 791-9999

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Seattle Weekly, August 22, 2012