Whether you are being abused or you know somebody being mistreated, NEVER blame the victim. And never blame yourself. No one deserves to be put down and hurt no matter what they said or did. An abusive person is accountable for their actions – what they are doing is wrong and some of their tactics are against the law. Abuse is NOT a sign of love.
This card was created by Public Legal Education and Information Service of New Brunswick in partnership with the Miramichi Family Violence Prevention Network and Outreach Coordinator. For more information, go to: www.legal-info-legale.nb.ca or call 1-888-236-2444 For help ending family violence or making a safety plan, contact a local Family Violence Coordinator, transition house, or other social services…
Safer Families...Safer Communities
Am I a Victim of Family Violence? Have you heard people say “Family violence – I know it’s a problem but not in my community” Well, think again… because it is happening in too many homes and communities
No one deserves to be abused! Financial assistance for this initiative was provided by the Women’s Program Community Fund, Status of Women Canada.
Many people ignore the hurtful and controlling behaviour that happens between partners and in families. Even victims of abuse may blame themselves. They feel they must have done something wrong because friends or family ask – Did you push his buttons by nagging? Did you burn his supper; make him jealous; wear the wrong clothes; or talk to somebody he doesn’t like? Or, they might say all women get treated like that so toughen up. Some might admit you are being abused, but then suggest you learn to live with it because he’s a good provider or only abuses you when he’s drinking.
People who say these things do not recognize the dynamics of family violence. Such comments just allow the abuse to continue. If you can answer YES to these questions, then you or someone you know is being abused. Does your partner… • Always have to be right? • Threaten to hit you, harm your pets or • Put you down? break things? • Decide what to do, where to go, • Slap, kick or punch you? and when to do it? • Use a firearm to threaten you? • Try to tell you how to wear your hair or what clothes to wear? • Criticize you all the time? • Say you are too fat, too skinny, ugly, or stupid? • Call you humiliating names? • Insist on controlling all the money? • Threaten suicide if you leave? • Get upset or jealous when you do things alone with your friends? • Insult the type of work you do or the kind of courses you take at school? • Force you to have sex when you do not want to?