The Ultimate Introductory Guide to Getting Laid on Tinder

THE ULTIMATE INTRODUCTORY GUIDE TO GETTING LAID ON TINDER

By Alex

This work is not considered professional, medical, psychological, or legal advice. It is for entertainment purposes only. Playing with Fire, LLC, or our associates, or affiliates will not be liable for any direct or indirect consequences that occur from the use of any of the ideas contained in this book.

This eBook, and all content within, is Copyright © 2020 Playing with Fire, LLC. All rights reserved.

Welcome to the Playing with Fire community! We’re excited to have you here, joining a global community of thousands of guys all over the world.

By downloading this free eBook, you’ve taken the first step toward improving your dating and sex life. This eBook has all of the foundational knowledge you need to start seeing instantaneous improvements on Tinder. All of the information contained in this book comes from years of continuous testing, adjusting, and learning. We’ve gone through all the rigorous hard work so that you don’t have to.

Alex V

Now that you’ve taken the first step by downloading this eBook, we hope that you dive into the PWF community. Here are a few more steps you can take to continue to improve your results:

• Visit our Playing with Fire website and read through our dozens of articles, tips & tricks, and love reports that break down successful interactions with women in-depth

• Subscribe to the Playing with Fire YouTube channel and check out our numerous videos across a range of topics

• Sign up for the Playing with Fire forums, a completely free resource where Alex and other community members will answer your questions

Of course, if you really want to take your results to the next level, there’s no faster way to improve than to purchase the full PWF Online Dating Blueprint. For only $169, you get access to our extensive training course that teaches you everything you need to know about getting laid online… and much more. You also get exclusive access to over a dozen free bonuses on areas like becoming a sexual guy, handling girls who flake, skyrocketing your attractiveness, members only texting breakdowns, webinars, and more. In addition, you get a free month of access to our members-only Mastermind group, where you get dedicated hands-on help from Alex and other guys who are killing it.

Chapter 1

Golden Rules of Online Dating

1. Women are inundated with attention. You have to stand out.

Even average girls have hundreds of matches and lots of attention from men. But, most men suck at online dating. They have terrible pictures, terrible bios, terrible texting skills, or a combination of all three. It’s important to stand out from the crowd to get a girl to message you back, and more importantly, to agree to meet you.

Be sure to check out our Tinder from a Girl’s Perspective video on YouTube to get an indepth view of your competition and how you can stand out from them.

2. If you have bad pictures, you will get minimal results.

Online dating is primarily about pictures. This might be alarming if you think you have an average or below average appearance. But even if you’re not super attractive, you can maximize your appearance by taking optimal photos. Read on to later chapters to learn how to maximize your photos.

3. If your texting skills are subpar, you will not get consistent results.

Many guys get too cheesy, too weird, or too “gamey” with messages in online dating. Your texting should be succinct, simple, and always moving the conversation forward. Speaking of which...

4. Avoid the “creepy” or “weirdo” boxes at all costs.

If a girl puts you into the “creepy” box or the “weirdo” box, she’ll never meet up with you. Period. Make sure your pictures, bio, and messaging don’t come off this way.

5. Always close optimally - learn the difference between soft and hard closing.

One of the biggest mistakes guys make in our Mastermind is immediately hard closing when the girl seems receptive to the idea of a date. “Let’s get together at X Bar on Friday at 7 PM!” The girl never responds after this, and the guy wonders why. Learning to always soft close before the hard close will reduce the risk of this happening. Soft vs. hard closing is explained later in this eBook!

Chapter 2

Optimizing Your Pictures and Bio

Online dating can be superficial. Women often match with more than half of the guys that they swipe right on, so they can afford to be very selective in swiping on men they find very attractive. As a result, you have to take steps to make your pictures and bio as attractive to women as possible.

Optimizing Your Pictures

Pictures are the most important part of your online dating profile. If your first picture isn’t good, a woman won’t look at your second one. If your overall pictures are bad, she probably won’t read your profile. Fortunately, most guys are really bad at picture selections, so even the good looking ones present themselves poorly. This gives you a huge opportunity for an advantage!

The Principles of a Good Picture

Good Quality - The picture itself should be of decent quality. This means that it is not grainy or pixelated. Ideally, you want a quality DSLR camera and good lighting. Look at the difference between these two pictures below. One was taken with a regular phone camera without attention to lighting. The other one was with a quality DSLR camera with perfect lighting:

You Look Good - The picture should be the most attractive version of you possible. This means that you don’t have a weird facial expression, poor posture, bad outfit, poor grooming, etc. It also means that you are the star of the picture and you are clearly visible. Take a look at these two pictures of me both shot within minutes of each other (with same equipment). To the left, I look scrounged over and displaying poor body language.

Looks Natural & Not Posed - One of the most important factors is how “natural” does this picture look. The more it looks like you didn’t take the picture (or had it taken) on purpose, the better. You want it to look like you were just living life and someone crept up on you with a camera and took a snap of you being you. It’s a little bit of a “catch 22” since you want the picture to be high quality and for you to look good, but yet still feel like it “just happened”. However, if you take enough pictures you should be able to find a few ones just like this. Take a look at the difference between the two pics below. Both were taken during the same photo shoot with the same exact camera. However, the one to the right looks significantly more natural:

Putting Together a Profile

Now that you understand what makes a good picture in general, let’s take a look at how all this comes together in a profile. You want a minimum of four pictures. Ideally five or six. Don’t feel like you have to fill every spot either. After the fourth picture, only add additional ones if they are neutral or better than the ones you already have. One bad picture can significantly reduce your results. In addition, you want to have as many natural looking pictures as possible. If you have one picture that looks very staged like a headshot or a shirtless selfie, then that’s acceptable. But if all your pictures look staged, then the girls’ perception of your attractiveness will take a massive hit.

First Picture - Should be JUST OF YOU, it can be an activity picture, but no other people. Your face should be very clearly visible and ideally at least a part of your body. If you are fit or average, show that you aren’t fat. If you are fat or very skinny, make sure it’s as flattering as possible.

Second Picture - Should also be JUST OF YOU and your face should also be very clearly visible. However, it should be a different style than the first one. If the first one is just a headshot, this should include your body as well or an activity picture. If the first one included your whole body, then this one should be closer zoomed in on your face, etc.

Rest of Pictures - These can be activity pics, group pics, or just cool pics in general. You want to show that you are a normal & cool guy. Some Ideas are: jet skiing, skydiving, chilling on a boat with some girls, riding a motorcycle, working out or even just walking down the street in a suit or nice outfit.

Let’s take a look at some successful profiles, notice how they all follow that same pattern.

Successful Profile Examples

Common Photo Mistakes: Things Not to Do

Here are other common mistakes the vast majority of guys make on Tinder. Some of these might sound obvious or repetitive, but you want to make sure you are not one of them.

1. Don’t be shirtless unless you look good - Shirtless pics aren’t for everyone. In fact, they are only for the small percentage of the male population who has a six-pack and looks great without a shirt.

2. Don’t use group pics where it’s hard to tell who you are - This is especially important for the first two pictures. You could be extremely attractive, but if a girl can’t tell who you are or what your face looks like, she will automatically swipe left half the time.

3. Don’t have a picture of you and one other girl - A lot of girls will automatically assume she is your girlfriend and swipe left. The only exception is if it looks like it’s at some kind of event and it’s obvious that she is not your girlfriend.

4. Don’t have any pics with babies or children - Even if you are a single father, you don’t want the girl to know that right away. It will lose you a lot of matches.

5. Don’t use pics with ugly women - Sounds mean, but it’s true. Unless the girls in your group pics are particularly attractive, you are better off not posting them at all.

6. Don’t post pics of you hovering around drunk girls at a club - Girls are excellent at reading into the vibe of a picture and this will be obvious. If you want to show preselection, it’s better to have pictures with girls during the daytime. For club pics, pay extra attention to the vibe. Even if the girls are part of your social circle, what does the picture make it look like?

7. Don’t use multiple pics with the same shirt - This is another small detail most girls will pick up on. If you have two amazing pictures where you happen to be wearing the same outfit, don’t put them next to each other.

8. Avoid selfies - Avoid selfies unless it’s a high-quality picture of you doing something cool like skydiving, traveling, etc. It may also be permissible if it is a good quality body/six pack picture. Though it is better to have someone else take it. Or if it is something like an “accidental” beach photo, etc. showing off your great body.

Optimizing Your Bio

While your pictures are showstoppers - bad photos will make it nearly impossible to get decent results from Tinder - your bio is also important. Most crucially, you want to avoid a bad bio that will get women to left swipe on you. But, a strong bio can also make a woman more interested in you, and it can help screen out girls who are prudes or time wasters.

The above bio is carefully constructed with extensive testing to maximize results with women. Notice there’s nothing excessively cheesy in here. It’s simple, straightforward, and to the point.

Don’t copy and paste this bio! Just because it works in this one case, doesn’t mean that women will believe it’s also reflective of you. Instead, focus on understanding each of the elements of his bio, and adjust to reflect your own personality.

The First Line - An Opportunity to Showcase Key Traits

The first line gives you an opportunity to showcase a couple of key things you want to come across to women. Some ideas for this? If you’re tall, definitely put your height here - this is

a very important and attractive factor for many women. Even if you’re average height, you can safely add 1-2” to your height and list it here. List your location, or where you’re from if you’re traveling. The final part of the line can be a number of things. You could leave it blank, or add something that piques a woman’s interest.

Highlight at Least Several Different Attractive Points About Yourself

Each point should be short, to the point, and easy to read. Within each point, you should strive to either show that you are confident and sexual man, or to showcase some personality, wit, and humor. Women are attracted to these traits, especially a man who is sexually confident, so you want to portray them here. This section gives women something to open you with or discuss during your conversation.

List Weaknesses - Things You Look for in Women

This section has proven crucial for the many Playing with Fire members who use it. Now that she’s read how cool you are and what you bring to the table, this gives her a chance to tell you why she’s a good fit for you. At least one or two should be quite broad, so that many (or most) women can identify with it. For example, “great energy” or “smiles”. Below is an example of a woman’s opening message, where she’s trying to show that she meets Alex’s criteria.

How to Get Photo and Bio Feedback

Your single best resource for getting feedback for your photos and bio is, of course, testing to see what gets you the best results. But beyond that, your next best bet is to ask four or five attractive, honest women that you know for feedback. This may sound daunting, but it is by far the best way to find your top options, and the vast majority of girls will be happy to help.

Of course, if you’re stuck or unsure about your photos and/or bio, the Playing with Fire forums is a great place to get direct feedback from Alex and some of our other community members. Just sign up for the forums, create a new post, and share your photos or bio.

Chapter 3

Your Opening Message

The goal of your opening message is, of course, to get a reply. Ideally, a longer and more thoughtful the reply, as this kind of message shows a woman is more interested in you. The problem with many popular openers is that while they get a reply, the reply is very uninterested or indicates the woman was actually turned off by the message.

This is particularly the case with many openers that become popular on Reddit. While they may get a reply, the conversations typically quickly fizzles out because the message wasn’t enough to stand out or provoke interest in the woman (again, remember she has dozens or hundreds of other guys also messaging her!).

Rules of Opening

1. Make it easy to respond to - Your opener should require as little mental effort as possible for the girl to respond to. For instance “tell me about yourself” requires the girl to think of a way to describe herself, what to say, what to leave out, etc…Girls don’t go on Tinder to think, so many will just move on to the next guy who is messaging them.

2. Establish a flirty, sexual, and fun dynamic, where you are the “buyer” and not the “seller”

- Aside from getting a response, the opener should be your first step in the “right direction”. For instance, you can write “hey cunt” and get a response but you will 9/10 times establish a negative dynamic. On the other hand, you can write a detailed long message about yourself and also get a response, but you will establish a dynamic where you are the seller and she is the buyer, which will be hard to recover from later on.

Canned Openers vs. Creative Openers

Based on your own attractiveness, the quality of your profile, and how many matches you get per day, a canned opener or a creative opener may make more sense for you.

Canned Opener

Pros: Low time investment. Don’t need to spend much time customizing to a woman’s profile.

Cons: Possibility for lower response rate.

Creative Opener

Pros: Possibility for higher response rate.

Cons: Requires much more time. Risk of being overly creative actually turning a woman off.

“Hey Trouble” - Canned Opener

This is Alex’s favorite time tested opener. Simple, fun, and low investment. Yet, unique enough to stand out from the crowd. Although, the last part is rapidly changing as more and more people “adopt” it. It playfully challenges the girl and creates a fun playful vibe.

Coming Up with a Creative Opener

Again, girls have a TON of messages on Tinder. Often, the reason you’re not getting a reply isn’t because she found you ugly or your profile uninteresting, but because she’s literally got 100+ other guys also messaging and competing for her attention.

To make your first message stand out and be creative, you want to notice something about the girl in her profile — her pictures or her bio — and then comment in a unique, abstract way. Put another way, you want to notice something about her that other guys wouldn’t typically notice or comment on. Or, you want to comment on something other guys would

notice, but take it to a slightly more abstract level than those guys normally would. Here’s a quick comparison example for you to consider:

You: “I love your curly hair”

This is the typical, boring, compliment opener that a ton of guys might send. The vast majority of the time, you’ll either get no response, or possibly a simple “Thanks!” back (leaving you without a clear path forward).

You: “You’re changing a stereotype”

Her: “What’s that?”

You: “Curly haired girls. I never used to be into them”

Notice the hook that “You’re changing a stereotype” is. It gets her interest, and makes her curious to know more. It’s also a bit more abstract, allowing you to compliment her but in a unique and non-needy way. (Credit to Indian PE for the above opening sequence.)

Chapter 4

Interacting and Vibing on Tinder

The process between opening a woman on Tinder and setting up a date can be generally described as “Vibing”. The PWF product has an in-depth look at how to successfully vibe with a woman to get her to meet up with over all the other guys, but we’ll look at some of the most important principles here.

Banter

The goal of banter is to simply be lighthearted, witty, and fun. It should also be simple and, most importantly, easy to respond to. When bantering, it is beneficial to show her some cool things about yourself, that women are attracted to -- in other words, showing them value about yourself. It’s important, still, to be moving things forward (ultimately toward the meetup), and not just throwing out messages with no direction.

Screening

The aim of screening is to filter out girls who aren’t worth investing your time into or who do not meet your criteria. The key is to start by understanding your goals of using Tinder. If you’re looking to get laid more often, you’ll likely want to screen for girls who are more DTF. And even if you’re looking for a relationship, you’ll want to screen out girls who are just messing around with online dating and aren’t serious about actually meeting up with people.

One straightforward way to screen is by asking, “What are you looking for on here?”. Note: Don’t ask this question too early in the conversation. Wait until you have vibed for a little bit and some back and forth has been established. Some women will be very up front with you, saying they are looking for “fun” or something to that extent. But keep in mind many women who are DTF will still be more subtle about it, saying something like “I’m open minded” or “Nothing in particular.”

Another way to screen is by adding some sexualization to your messaging. This can be risky, of course, because done improperly, it will result in you being placed into the unrecoverable “creepy” box. Be sure to check out our article on How to Sexualize Over Text for more details on this.

5 Common Vibing Mistakes

In our Mastermind group, there are a number of mistakes we see newbies make with regularity. These mistakes can often be the kiss of death in a conversation with a woman, avoid them at all costs!

1. Sexualizing out of nowhere - Sexualizing can work, but getting very sexual out of the blue is the easiest way to creep a woman out and scare her away for good. Sexualizing should be done very deliberately, see this article for more.

2. Directionless conversations - Guys often get stuck just throwing out lines and talking about random shit. Don’t get stuck in this cycle -- eventually, the girl will get bored and her attention will go to one of the other dozens of guys messaging her! Always be thinking about the next step in the interaction and where you want to take it.

3. Being “gamey” or just weird - These guys tend to go too far on the side of coming across funny, using lots of “lines” and “routines.” Women will see right through this, and it will raise red flags in her mind about you not being a normal human being. As this is one of women’s biggest concerns about online dating, you definitely don’t want to end up in the “weird” or “creepy” box.

4. Going for the number or meetup in a suboptimal way - On Reddit, you’ll see guys being celebrated for sending ridiculous lines and then getting a phone number in one or two messages. But a phone number isn’t the goal, the goal is meet the woman and have sex! Also often, guys will ask for phone numbers, but it’s way out of context - the girl isn’t interested in enough in the conversation and him, and so she ghosts at that point.

Another common thing is a guy pushing for a meetup too early, at a bad time, or without soft closing first (see Chapter 5 for details on soft closing and how to set up the date). You should have a woman showing obvious interest in you before you try to set up a date.

5. Being overeager, overinvested, or needy - Guys will often come across as super nice or overeager, often to the point of being needy, when interacting with a woman. Unfortunately, this fails to spark attraction in the woman and can quickly signal that you don’t have many options. We’re not advocating being a dick to women, but instead, don’t hesitate to say and do what you want, even if it results in a little natural tension.

Further Reading

Be sure to read How to Message on Tinder, Part 1 and Part 2. Beyond this, the Playing with Fire website is full of Love Reports that have detailed breakdowns of texting that resulted in getting laid. And of course, the PWF Online Dating Blueprint has a three part chapter dedicated to teaching you everything you could possibly need to know about texting women, along with multiple members-only messaging breakdowns.

Chapter 5

Setting Up The Date

Once you have a girl interested in you from your vibing process, it’s imperative that you set up the date properly. Many guys mess this part up, and then they are stuck wondering why a girl who seemed super interested suddenly ghosted on them, never to reply again.

Closing Properly

The single biggest mistake guys make when trying to set up the date is going for a “Hard Close” before a “Soft Close” (these are sales terminology that apply equally to online dating). Always soft close before you hard close.

Soft Close - Getting her to further invest into the concept of a date with you, in her mind. Example: “We should split a bottle together sometime soon”

Hard Close - Nailing down the specifics of date, time, location (logistics). Example: “What’s your schedule like to get together?”

So, when should you soft close? You should do it at a high point in the interaction, where you are both vibing well and she’s showing a lot of interest in you.

Optimal First Date Setups

Many guys mess up by going for elaborate first dates. Even if both you and the girl are looking for something more serious, elaborate first dates make girls nervous and can make it hard to establish a good vibe.

Optimally, your first date achieves one of two goals: either you have sex, or you set it up so you can more easily move toward sex on your second date.

Bad First Date Setups

• Anything involving food - especially a restaurant that involves sitting down and eating.

• Any situation where you can’t talk and interact - think, watching a movie or performance at a theater.

• Anything elaborate, that requires the woman to dress up or give a lot of thought to it, think, “activity” dates like bowling, live sports games, etc.

• Meeting “halfway” between your place and hers.

Have these kinds of dates for after you’ve had sex with a woman.

Good First Date Setups

• Have her come straight to your house. Believe it or not, if you’re confident in this, many women will be receptive.

• Meet in public, at a bar, for a short 60-90 minute date over one drink, where you lead the interaction but she does most of the talking.

• If you and her are under 21, a coffee or bubble tea (especially popular these days with young girls) can be a decent substitute

That’s it! If you have her come straight to your place, your aim is obviously to have sex with her. If you meet in public, your aim is to make as few mistakes as possible so that she’s open to seeing you for a second date - which you’ll have at your place and go for sex.

Confirming

Once she’s agreed to your hard close, congrats! You have a date set up now. But, keep in mind, women have busy schedules, and again are probably going on dates with many men. So, your work still isn’t done.

Depending on how far away the date is, your procedure for confirming will be different. A few rules that you should definitely follow:

• Confirm the night before and the morning of the actual date (“Hey still good for tonight?” is an easy way to do this)

• If the date is set for more than a few days out, don’t let too much time (no more than 2-3 days) go between messaging her -- just have a brief text exchange each time

Chapter 6

Tying it All Together

Great, you’ve finished our eBook! Now, how should you move forward? We’ve developed this action plan for you, so that you can implement all of the information you’ve found above in a smart and effective fashion. I strongly encourage you to print this checklist out and go through your profile each item at a time.

Step 1: Update Your Pictures and Bio

• Replace any photos that don’t meet “Principles of a Good Picture”

• Send your top 10-20 pictures to at least 3 women in your life, and collect their feedback

• Revise your bio to include the three key elements: a strong first line, attractive points about you that meet the criteria we’ve outlined, and a list of weaknesses (think things you are looking for)

Step 2: Decide on a canned opener or a creative opener that works for you and begin testing

• Swipe on 100 new girls, and test your new opener(s) on all of your new matches

• As you start to get replies, notice what seems to be working and what doesn’t, and adjust accordingly

Step 3: Work on improving the quality of your texting

• Based on Chapter 4, re-read some of your messages from past exchanges. Think about:

• Which of the common vibing mistakes am I making most often? How can I stop doing this?

• How much banter and screening am I doing, versus normal boring conversation? How can I improve here?

Step 4: Prepare for your dates to maximize success

• Consider what things you need to prepare in your home or apartment, for when women come over (examples include: wine, condoms, and lube)

• Spend time researching good options for public dates near your home, based on the criteria explained in Chapter 5

Step 5: Join the PWF Online Forums and keep us updated on your journey!

Be sure to really give some thought and effort to each step above!

Ready to Get Next-Level Results with Online Dating?

Thank you again for taking the time to download and read this eBook! We look forward to hearing from you as you incorporate these principles into your online dating.

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