T H E S P H E R I C A L L O N E L I N E S S O F B E V E R LY O N I O N
BEVERLY: I’m sorry about the smell, I didn’t have a lot of time to prepare. It’s formaldehyde. I work with dead people. What do you do? (The DATE grabs the bell in desperation and rings it. BEVERLY freezes, he changes hats. They unfreeze.) BEVERLY (contd): Hobbies? Well I’m into researching strange burial rights from around the globe. Did you know that the Ishikonobo tribe indigenous to the lower Urguazian Desert skewer their dead on tall poles and leave them in temperatures of well over 120 degrees? It totally preserves them. They come down looking like jerky. (The DATE rings the bell.) BEVERLY (contd): (As if answering a question.) “Star Wars.” (DATE reaches for the bell.) Specifically, “The Empire Strikes Back.” (He pauses.) I absolutely can’t take the prequels seriously as part of the canon. Can you believe George Lucas sold to Disney? (He takes her hand.) FATE: Even I was surprised by that. LUCK: He receives a phone call. (DATE puts a phone to his ear.) There has been a small fire at his office. (He makes an “oh no” face.) Nothing serious. But there is smoke damage. No need to come into work tomorrow. They go home together (They go home together.) to watch “The Empire Strikes Back,” except not really. (BEVERLY and her DATE move quickly into three quick make out poses, freezing for a beat in each one.) FATE: There is nothing in the world more lonely than awkward couch sex. (He is really into it. She is obviously not. She is somewhere else in her mind completely.) FATE (contd): Where only one person is enjoying himself.
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