Best of PlayGround 2016 (Los Angeles)

L O S

THE BEST OF PLAYGROUND–LOS ANGELES (2016)

A N G E L E S

Short plays by six of the leading emerging playwrights in Los Angeles, selected as best of the 2015–16 PlayGround–LA season and featured at the PlayGround Gala in May 2016.

She Has Seen the Wolf by Allie Costa A modern-day Red Riding Hood asserts herself after receiving unwanted attention from a wolf.

A New Happily Ever After

by Vincent Terrell Durham

A South Central twist on the classic tale of Cinderella!

Antic Resolutions by Arthur Keng The dark prince is in a better mood, and no one’s happy about it.

Psycho by Jessica June Rowe When Mike’s girlfriend mistakes his “romantic” Christmas gift for a pending proposal, a dinner date quickly gets out of hand. Hold on to your cutlery!

The Best of PlayGround – Los Angeles (2016)

Bright Shining Sea by Julianne Jigour An empty bathtub. Dead sea lions washed up on shore. A couple grapples with a personal loss that the Earth seems to echo back to them.

A New Happily Ever After VINCENT TERRELL DURHAM Antic Resolutions ARTHUR KENG

Goodnight Joanne by Nicki Spencer At the end of their first date, the pivotal moment of “will they/won’t they” kiss, Joanne and Frank are interrupted by their New Year’s resolutions.

For more information, visit www.playground-la.org

Bright Shining Sea JULIANNE JIGOUR Goodnight Joanne NICKI SPENCER Psycho JESSICA JUNE ROWE She Has Seen the Wolf ALLIE COSTA

The Best of PlayGround Los Angeles 2016

A NEW HAPPILY EVER AFTER © 2016 Vincent Terrell Durham ANTIC RESOLUTIONS © 2016 Arthur Keng BRIGHT SHINING SEA © 2015 Julianne Jigour GOODNIGHT JOANNE © 2016 Nicki Spencer PSYCHO © 2015 Jessica June Rowe SHE HAS SEEN THE WOLF © 2016 Allie Costa CAUTION: Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that performance of the plays contained in this publication (see above) are subject to a royalty. They are fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America, and of all countries covered by the International Copyright Union (including the Dominion of Canada and the rest of the British Commonwealth), and of all countries covered by the Pan-American Copyright Convention, the Universal Copyright Convention, the Berne Convention, and of all countries with which the United States has reciprocal copyright relations. All rights, including professional/amateur stage rights, motion picture, recitation, lecturing, public reading, radio broadcasting, television, video or sound recording, all other forms of mechanical or electronic reproduction, such as CD‑ROM, CD-1, DVD, information storage and retrieval systems and photocopying, and the rights of translation into foreign languages, are strictly reserved. Particular emphasis is placed upon the matter of readings, permission for which must be secured from the Author’s agent in writing.

The English language stock and amateur stage performance rights in the United States, its territories, possessions and Canada in the above-listed plays are controlled exclusively by PLAYGROUND, INC., 3286 Adeline Street, #8, Berkeley, CA 94703-2485.

No professional or non-professional performance of the Play may be given without obtaining in advance the written permission of PLAYGROUND, INC., and paying the requisite fee.

Inquiries concerning all other rights should be addressed to the appropriate playwright, c/o PlayGround, 3286 Adeline Street, #8, Berkeley, CA 94703.

SPECIAL NOTE: Anyone receiving permission to produce any of the plays contained in this publication is required to give credit to the Author as sole and exclusive Author of such Play(s) on the title page of all programs distributed in connection with performances of the Play(s) and in all instances in which the title of the Play(s) appears for purposes of advertising, publicizing or otherwise exploiting the Play and/ or a production thereof. The name of the Author must appear on a separate line, in which no other name appears, immediately beneath the title and in size of type equal to 50% of the size of the largest most prominent letter used for the title of the Play(s). No person, firm or entity may receive credit larger or more prominent than that accorded the Author. The following acknowledgment must appear on the title page in all programs distributed in connection with performances of the Play: Originally developed by PlayGround-LA (Year, Los Angeles), James A. Kleinmann, Artistic Director SPECIAL NOTE ON SONGS AND RECORDINGS: For performances of copyrighted songs, arrangements or recordings mentioned in these Plays, the permission of the copy­ right owner(s) must be obtained. Other songs, arrangements or recordings may be substituted provided permission from the copyright owner(s) of such songs, arrange­ ments or recordings is obtained; or songs, arrangements or recordings in the public domain may be substituted.

Layout, Artwork, Introduction, Foreword © 2015 PlayGround Publications ISBN: 978-0-9722708-9-2 Printed in the United States

—2—

Contents

Introduction............................................................. 5 Foreword................................................................. 7 A NEW HAPPILY EVER AFTER........................................... 9

By Vincent Terrell Durham ANTIC RESOLUTIONS................................................... 17

By Arthur Keng BRIGHT SHINING SEA................................................... 25

By Julianne Jigour GOODNIGHT JOANNE.................................................. 35

By Nicki Spencer PSYCHO.................................................................. 47

By Jessica June Rowe SHE HAS SEEN THE WOLF............................................. 59

By Allie Costa

—3—

PlayGround, Inc. Board of Directors Regina Guggenheim, Chair James A. Kleinmann, President Aaron Loeb, Vice President

Maya L. Tussing, Treasurer Beverly Butler, Secretary

Kate Clarvoe Molly Noble Patrick O’Brien

Geetha Reddy Patrick Reilly David G. Steele

James A. Kleinmann Annie Stuart Artistic Director Associate Director Cass Brayton Editor, Best of PlayGround

Acknowledgments: Continued thanks to Paula Vogel for the inspiration, to co-founders Brighde Mullins and Denise Shama, to Berkeley Repertory Theatre for providing PlayGround’s home since 2003, and to the PlayGround Writers Pool, whose work fuels everything we do and who represent the future of the American Theatre.

PlayGround is a member of Theatre Bay Area and Theatre Communications Group, the national service organization of the professional theatre.

PlayGround operates under an agreement with Actors’ Equity Associa­ tion, the union of professional actors and stage managers.

PlayGround is made possible in part by generous funding from: Actors’ Equity Foundation • Alameda County Arts Commission • Berkeley Civic Arts • The Bernard Osher Foundation • Bill Graham Supporting Foundation of the Jewish Community Federation and Endowment Fund • Creative Capacity Fund • Dramatists Guild Fund • Electronic Arts • The Fleishhacker Foundation • Google • Grants For The Arts/San Francisco Hotel Tax Fund • Harold & Mimi Steinberg Charitable Trust • IBM Corporation • Lenore & Howard Klein Foundation • Kenneth Rainin Foundation • The Leo J. & Celia Carlin Fund • Microsoft • Negley Flinn Charitable Foundation • San Francisco Arts Commission • The Shenson Foundation • The Shubert Foundation • Stanford University • Sustainable World Coalition/Planet Earth Arts • The Tournesol Project • Visa • The William & Flora Hewlett Foundation • WomenArts To make a tax-deductible contribution to PlayGround–LA, a fiscally sponsored project of PlayGround, write to: PlayGround, Inc., 3286 Adeline Street, #8, Berkeley, CA 94703.

Or visit our website, www.playground-la.org.

—4—

Introduction

Welcome to The Best of PlayGround–Los Angeles (2016), the fourth Los Angeles publication in the popular “Best of” series launched by the San Francisco-based playwright incubator, PlayGround.

PlayGround was founded in San Francisco in 1994 by myself, Brighde Mullins and Denise Shama with the mission to sup­ port the development of the Bay Area’s best new playwrights.

Over the next twenty-one years, PlayGround developed a unique model for identifying and nurturing the Bay Area’s best new writers, while helping them to build a significant body of original work. Since its founding, PlayGround has developed and staged more than 750 original short plays by 200 writers and commissioned and developed 61 new full-length plays, as well as co-producing the premiere of more than 22 of these and, most recently, taking its work to the big screen with the PlayGround Film Festival.

More than just a play development program, PlayGround focuses on the creation of a true theatre community by nurturing the collaborative process between early development playwrights, and established professional actors and directors.

In the summer of 2012, PlayGround joined members of the Los Angeles theatre community to help launch PlayGround-LA, a playwright incubator for LA-based playwrights and theatre community hub for the Greater Los Angeles area. PlayGround-LA presents the Monday Night PlayGround staged reading series on the second Monday of the month, October–March, in residence at the Zephyr Theatre. Topics are announced ten days before and LA-based playwrights have just four days to generate their original short plays inspired by the topic.

From October 2015 through March 2016, PlayGround-LA developed and staged 36 original short plays from more than 160 submissions by the 36 members of the PlayGround‑LA Writers Pool. The best of these were show­cased on May 9, 2016 for a —5—

one-night celebration, the Best of PlayGround Gala, to mark PlayGround-LA’s fourth season. The Best of PlayGround (2016) features these six plays in their entirety. We hope you enjoy this collection and look forward to sharing with you more great work

by L.A.’s best new writers in the years to come.

James A. Kleinmann Artistic Director

—6—

Foreword Being heard can be a real struggle, especially for emerging playwrights trying to add their unique voices to the rich artistic cultural mélange of Southern California. Over the past four seasons, PlayGround–LA has grown into an important resource for dis­cov­ering and fostering diverse new voices for the theatre. Not surprisingly, one theme that crops up in the 36 plays presented on Monday nights over the 2015-16 season is the difficulty we all encounter when communicating with one another, the struggle it takes to be seen and understood. This anthology contains six of the best plays from 2015-16, thought-provoking works that entertain and enliven, as they connect us.

Poor Cinderella. Vincent Terrell Durham, in A New Happily Ever After—his third Best of PlayGround appearance—transplants the durable fairy tale from its Western European roots to the contemporary megalopolis that is Los Angeles. It doesn’t go well for the would-be princess as she comes up against some unexpectedly strong competition from women who have no problem asserting their right to inclusion. On one level the play serves up a very funny satire, but it’s not hard to find pointed observations about traditional norms of cultural representation.

Arthur Keng responded to January’s topic “Resolutions” by reimagining Shakespeare’s troubled Danish prince as the needy son of a contemporary emotionally unavailable mother, with all the attendant psychological baggage such a situation engenders.

Again, though the play entertains on the level of (tragic) comedy, Antic Resolutions simultaneously presents an unsettling portrait of family dysfunction that would not seem out of place in the world of reality TV. The 2015–16 season began with a collaboration between PlayGround and the Planet Earth Arts New Play Festival on the topic “The Water Plays.” Julianne Jigour responded with Bright Shining Sea, a tender play that, although set simply in a bathtub, evokes the planetary magic and mystery of life out in the ocean. Through its spare, poetic dialogue, this play invites —7—

us to consider, both literally and figuratively, the vast distances we must traverse when trying to communicate with another.

Goodnight Joanne by Nicki Spencer also highlights the difficulty of communicating but in a vastly different style. In this farcical comedy, we find characters at war within themselves as they resolve to overcome behaviors they suspect have selfsabotaged previous attempts at finding love. This play cleverly articulates challenges young lovers face trying to overcome their own insecurities, anxieties, angst, and impulse control, let alone taking a stab at what might score points with the object of their affection.

And while we’re taking stabs, consider Psycho by Jessica June Rowe, written for December’s topic, “A Very Merry Hitchcock Christmas.” This play also finds us on a date, this time calling into question what we think we know about another person and demonstrates how, despite the best of intentions, poor judgment can undermine our efforts at finding happiness. This play too, satisfying enough on the level of comedy, invites us to think more deeply about the consequences of casually applying labels to the behavior of others.

Fairy tales endure because embedded within them we find deep psychological and behavioral resonances. In She Has Seen The Wolf, Allie Costa amplifies the sinister aspect of a familiar story by layering it with all-too-familiar situations in our own society. Here we encounter a central character struggling to convey the truth of her experience but finding herself blocked by the preconceptions of another. How do we communicate with people who think they know all they need to about us?

The six plays in this anthology cover a wide range of styles and genres, but each reminds us of the enormous struggle that can be involved in trying to communicate our truths to one another and to the world. The grace, empowerment, and affirmation resulting from such effort, however, could not be better served than by the fine work of these six emerging playwrights.

Cass Brayton Editor —8—

A NEW HAPPILY EVER AFTER

By Vincent Terrell Durham

—9—

A NEW HAPPILY EVER AFTER

By Vincent Terrell Durham A NEW HAPPILY EVER AFTER was originally developed by PlayGround–LA (James A. Kleinmann, Artistic Director) for the Monday Night PlayGround staged reading series in residence at the Zephyr Theatre on March 14, 2016. It was directed by Tamiyka White. The cast was as follows: Prince Charming............................................ Greg Bryan Cinderella.................................................... Lyndsy Kail Ebonyerella.............................................. Krystal Mosley Carmenita............................................Patricia Fructuoso Fairy Godmother.......................................Sherry Michaels A NEW HAPPILY EVER AFTER was presented at the Best of Play­ Ground Gala on May 9, 2016. It was directed by Tamiyka White.

The cast was as follows: Prince Charming....................................Clayton B. Hodges Cinderella................................................ Christina Wren Ebonyerella.............................................. Krystal Mosley Carmenita........................................... Cristina Fernandez Fairy Godmother............................................ Janet Song Vincent Terrell Durham honed his storytelling skills in comedy clubs across the country. A reunion with a classmate and his comment, “You were supposed to have been a writer,” caused Vincent to open his laptop and became a writer. His plays have been featured in a host of festivals nationwide.

— 10 —

A NEW HAPPILY EVER AFTER

By Vincent Terrell Durham Characters: Prince Charming, male, White, young, handsome, from The Land of Fairy Tales Cinderella, female, White, young, pretty, from The Land of Fairy Tales Ebonyerella, female, Black, young, pretty, from South Central L.A. Carmenita, female, Mexican, young, pretty, from South Central L.A. Fairy Godmother, female, White, any age, from Fairyland

Setting: The front yard of Cinderella’s farmhouse. The year 2016 has intruded on Cinderella and Prince Charming in the form of wise talking Ebonyerella and street smart Carmenita.

(An annoyingly happy fairy tale tune plays the entire time, until other music is called for. PRINCE CHARMING is kneeling down at the foot of CINDERELLA. He is preparing to place the glass slipper upon her shoeless foot.)

PRINCE CHARMING: My dear Cinderella, if this glass slipper fits, then you are the one I’ve been searching for. You are the one who captured my heart on that enchanted evening.

CINDERELLA: I would love nothing more than that, Prince Charming. Please place the slipper upon my bare foot. I’m sure it will fit quite nicely.

(EBONYERELLA enters and interrupts the action.)

EBONYERELLA: Hashtag–CinderellaSoWhite.

PRINCE CHARMING: Yes, isn’t it wonderful?

EBONYERELLA: No, it’s some bullshit. Hashtag–FairyTalesSoWhite.

It reminds me of the Oscars.

— 11 —

A

N E W

H A P P I LY

EVER

AF TER

CINDERELLA: Pardon me, but you’re interrupting a very magical moment. The Prince is about to free me from a world of washing windows, scrubbing floors, and cleaning out sootfilled fireplaces.

EBONYERELLA: Bitch, please. It’s your house. You’re supposed to do all that shit. Try washing windows and scrubbing floors for your day job, and then having to go back to your own house and cleaning that too.

PRINCE CHARMING: Madam, I cannot allow you to speak with such vulgarity to the one I love.

EBONYERELLA: That shoe ain’t on her foot yet. This flyer says that the Prince will search his entire kingdom for the one who fits the slipper.

PRINCE CHARMING: Yes, and I have searched my kingdom high and low.

EBONYERELLA: Then I must have missed you coming through Watts.

PRINCE CHARMING: None of my carriage drivers would venture to that side of the kingdom.

EBONYERELLA: Well we have feet on that side of the kingdom too. That glass slipper could fit my foot as much as her foot.

CINDERELLA: The slipper is mine. My Fairy Godmother gave it to me. Right after she turned my rags into a ball gown, my pumpkin into a carriage, and the field mice into my footmen.

EBONYERELLA: Can she do anything with roaches?

PRINCE CHARMING: Madam, I beseech you.

EBONYERELLA: (Mistaking “beseech” as a sexual act.) Not on the first date you won’t.

CARMENITA: (Offstage, calling out in search of her friend in a singsong fairy tale style.) Ebonyerella. Ebonyerella.

— 12 —

A

NEW

H A P P I LY

EVER

AFTER

EBONYERELLA: Over here, Carmenita. I found Prince Charming.

He’s with that ho, Cinderella.

(CARMENITA enters and immediately runs to PRINCE CHARMING.) CARMENITA: Your Highness, word has traveled to South Central that you’ve located my lost slipper. Please place it on upon my foot so we can live happily ever after.

CINDERELLA: It won’t fit your foot! You weren’t even at the ball.

Neither of you were. I highly doubt you even know how to waltz.

EBONYERELLA: (Mocking Cinderella’s speech pattern.) Well we highly doubt you know how to Whip and Nae Nae. (“Watch Me (Whip/Nae Nae)” begins to play and EBONY­ ERELLA and CARMENITA Whip and Nae Nae to several verses of the song.)

PRINCE CHARMING: What a fascinating display of dance. I would greatly appreciate you showing me how to Whip and Nae Nae. CINDERELLA: Prince Charming, this is our story, not theirs. Why don’t you two Whip and Nae Nae on over to Snow White’s part of the forest. I’m sure you can arrive before the ­huntsman awakens her. You two can fight over him. I’ve heard he has a big ax.

EBONYERELLA: Oh, don’t worry. Thanks to the new busing program. My sister Shanita is over there integrating that story right now.

CARMENITA: We’re coming for all of your fairy tales. People of color deserve equal representation in the land of make believe too. Hashtag–EthnicFairyTaleLivesMatter.

PRINCE CHARMING: You mean I have a choice? As lovely as you are Cinderella, with your fair skin, blue eyes, and lovely blond locks, these women lead me to believe I have a choice.

CARMENITA: These women have names.

— 13 —

A

N E W

H A P P I LY

EVER

AF TER

CINDERELLA: Strange and foreign names. Carmenita and Ebony­ erella. Dare I say ghetto?

CARMENITA: You can say it if you want to lose your teeth.

EBONYERELLA: I got two first cousins and an aunt named Ebonyerella. You the first Cinderella I ever come across.

Dare I say ghetto is in the eye of the beholder?

CINDERELLA: Prince Charming, why are you entertaining these two? I don’t want to reveal any spoilers, but the end of the story has us living happily ever after in your castle—not one of them.

PRINCE CHARMING: Cinderella, you have enchanted me, as Ebonyerella and Carmenita have done as well.

EBONYERELLA: (Flattered that she has enchanted Prince Charming.) You better recognize.

CARMENITA: (Flattered that she has enchanted Prince Charming.)

Hey Papi.

PRINCE CHARMING: But two weeks prior to finding this lovely and delicate slipper, I found this size 13 basketball shoe. If it’s true I have a choice, I dare say I would like to go find the chap who owns it.

EBONYERELLA: That looks like my brother Tyrone’s shoe.

PRINCE CHARMING: Can you direct me to him?

EBONYERELLA: Are you familiar with Grindr? It’s a gay hook-up app.

PRINCE CHARMING: I know not of this Grindr.

(EBONYERELLA pulls out her cell phone and hands it to PRINCE CHARMING.) EBONYERELLA: Girl just call him. He’s number three in my favorite list.

— 14 —

A

NEW

H A P P I LY

EVER

AFTER

PRINCE CHARMING: Thank you. I will do so immediately. (To CINDERELLA.) Perhaps you will find your own size 13 one day and live happily ever after, as I hope to. (Beat.) Bye, Cindy.

(PRINCE CHARMING exits.)

CINDERELLA: You two have ruined my fairy tale ending! Why didn’t you just stay in South Central?

(The lights flicker several times and FAIRY GODMOTHER appears. She is holding a book. CINDERELLA goes to her.)

CINDERELLA: Fairy Godmother, Fairy Godmother. Ebonyerella and Carmenita have ruined my life and all of your plans.

They are more wicked and evil than my wicked and evil step­ sisters ever were.

FAIRY GODMOTHER: My dear child they’ve done no such thing.

I’ve been wrong all of these years. I owe all three of you, as well as millions of little girls around the world, an apology.

Lovely dresses, pretty hairdos, and Prince Charmings are not the answers to a happily ever after.

CINDERELLA: Then what is?

EBONYERELLA: Then what is?

CARMENITA: Then what is?

FAIRY GODMOTHER: This book is your answer to a happily ever after. It’s The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan. Let’s retire to the house and read it together, but first gather four of those stones. I’ll turn them into Cosmopolitans for us.

We’ll be just like Sex in The City.

(Sex in the City theme song begins to play. All four clasp hands and begin to exit.)

EBONYERELLA: (To FAIRY GODMOTHER as they leave the stage.)

Can you do anything with roaches?

End of play.

— 15 —

— 16 —

ANTIC RESOLUTIONS

By Arthur Keng

— 17 —

ANTIC RESOLUTIONS

By Arthur Keng ANTIC RESOLUTIONS was originally developed by PlayGround–LA (James A. Kleinmann, Artistic Director) for the Monday Night PlayGround staged reading series in residence at the Zephyr Theatre on January 11, 2016. It was directed by Tamiyka White.

The cast was as follows: Ophelia......................................................Emily Killian Gertrude..................................................... Janet Song Hamlet............................................................ Nic Few Claudius................................................... Richard Ruyle ANTIC RESOLUTIONS was presented at the Best of Play­Ground Gala on May 9, 2016. It was directed by Frieda de Lackner. The cast was as follows: Ophelia................................................... Christina Wren Gertrude..................................................... Janet Song Hamlet................................................Clayton B. Hodges Claudius................................................... Richard Ruyle Arthur Keng is a Los Angeles-based playwright and actor.

Monday Night PlayGround selections include A Settled Matter, Dream Enforcement, Infiltrated Learning, Over the Falls, Antic Resolutions, and Forced Position. Acting credits include Silicon Valley (HBO), Criminal Minds (CBS), The Eric André Show (Adult Swim), and many plays across the country.

— 18 —

ANTIC RESOLUTIONS

By Arthur Keng Characters: Gertrude, female, 40s to 50s; Queen of Denmark, classy, stickler for formality and propriety Ophelia, female, 20s; Hamlet’s girlfriend, speaks frankly Hamlet, male, 20s; Prince of Denmark, used to be sad, but determined to turn over a new leaf Claudius, male, 50s to 60s; King of Denmark, a man of few words (GERTRUDE sits at her vanity, brushing her hair. OPHELIA bursts in.)

OPHELIA: You gotta get outta here.

GERTRUDE: Ophelia, my dear, as white dove wings are tainted by the dust of baleful winds, thy tongue by pernicious speech is debased.

Raise thy words to heights above soil so low.

OPHELIA: Pardon, my Queen . . . shit.

(Counting out syllables on her fingers and very deliberately pronouncing each stress.)

ParDON, my . . . GREAT . . . Queen. THY son ApproaCHES. Full OF stuff OF yearLY reSOluTION. To LEAVE, you MUST, it IS . . . veRY— GERTRUDE: Okay. Just . . . no. Stop.

OPHELIA: You gotta get the hell out of here.

GERTRUDE: And why is that?

OPHELIA: Hamlet’s gone shitnuts.

GERTRUDE: I’m sure it’s just one of his moods.

— 19 —

A ntic

R esolutions

OPHELIA: Oh no. Nonononono. I wish. This is different.

GERTRUDE: How different?

(HAMLET enters. Calm, Zen-like. He approaches GERTRUDE and gives her the most loving, overlong hug possible. She is deeply uncomfortable. This goes on for a while.)

HAMLET: Mother. Maman. Madre. Mom. GERTRUDE: Hamlet. We do not . . . touch . . . like this . . . in this family.

HAMLET: (Still hugging.) We should.

GERTRUDE: (Peeling herself away.) No. Now, what is this all about?

HAMLET: You’ve been such an amazing mother to me.

GERTRUDE: OPHELIA: No, I haven’t.

No, she hasn’t.

(GERTRUDE gives OPHELIA a look, then turns back to HAMLET.) GERTRUDE: I’ve been very deliberate about that. Queens are not good mothers. They could not be good queens if they were.

I have been, at best, a dispassionately supportive mother to you, Hamlet.

HAMLET: Yes, but so passionately dispassionate.

GERTRUDE: Good Lord.

OPHELIA: See what I mean?!

HAMLET: I remember when Constance spurned my attempts at courtship.

OPHELIA: Whoa, and why are we talking about her now?

— 20 —

A ntic

R esolutions

HAMLET: And I came to you, tears in my eyes, and opened my heart as only a son can to his mother. Do you remember what you said to me?

GERTRUDE: (To OPHELIA.) Who is Constance?

HAMLET: Exactly! So profound. Who WAS Constance? Just a girl.

A girl I loved.

OPHELIA: Can you stop?

HAMLET: A girl I wanted.

OPHELIA: Shut it.

HAMLET: A girl of incomparable beauty.

OPHELIA: Do I need to punch you?

GERTRUDE: Oh, yes, I remember now.

HAMLET: A girl of such tenderness.

GERTRUDE: A girl you had your father banish to the Orient, never to return.

HAMLET: She so loved spices.

GERTRUDE: (To OPHELIA.) How long has this been going on?

OPHELIA: Since New Year’s. He made some sort of pact with himself to start overappreciating everything in his life.

HAMLET: Not overappreciating. Appreciating to its full worth.

I’ve been so callous.

OPHELIA: Yeah, no sh— HAMLET: So disrespectful of the love you all have given me. I’m a new man, Mother. A new, better son.

(HAMLET approaches GERTRUDE for another hug. She stops him.)

— 21 —

A ntic

R esolutions

GERTRUDE: Enough. Now, I don’t know what’s compelled you to act this way, but, like all of your episodes, I’ve no doubt that it will pass. Until then, I tell you this: I want no part of it. You will keep your words, your embraces, your . . . affec­ tions . . . to yourself. When you’ve decided that you are done with this, this . . . whatever this is . . . as I’m sure you will, then you may approach me once more. Do you understand?

HAMLET: But Mother, this is but the first word of the first page of the first chapter of the first book of the first volume of the epic Tome of Appreciation that shall be my life from now on.

OPHELIA: Oh my God! You’re un-fucking-bearable!

HAMLET: Lia. OPHELIA: Don’t call me that.

HAMLET: . . . Darling. Tell me, was I “fucking bearable” before my resolution? When I was walking around the castle muttering to myself, wearing the same black tunic day-in, day-out?

Angrily giving you back your letters. Was I any less insufferable to you then?

OPHELIA: Well, I dunno, I guess not.

HAMLET: Then why not let me now be unbearably positive?

OPHELIA: But it’s so . . . phony. Your depression, that’s real, that’s you.

HAMLET: But where was it getting me, Lia? OPHELIA: You really have to stop calling me that.

HAMLET: I was useless. To you, to Mother, to myself. I moped, I whined, I sulked, I killed your father . . .

OPHELIA: Yeah.

HAMLET: How I am now, perhaps this is my true self.

OPHELIA: God I hope not.

— 22 —

A ntic

R esolutions

HAMLET: I feel light, Ophelia, free as the air! How liberating it is to allow myself to bask in the love and warmth of my friends and family! Mother! Dance with me!

(HAMLET takes up GERTRUDE’s hands and attempts to waltz with her. After a few shocked steps, she tears herself away.)

GERTRUDE: No more! No more, Hamlet! This cheer, this happiness, this lack of soul-crushing, existential angst. It’s . . . it’s . . . it’s . . . it’s UNDANISH! I demand you stop it this minute!

HAMLET: I’m afraid I cannot, Mother. The year has started me on this new path and destroyed the old one.

GERTRUDE: Unacceptable! I warn you, Son. If you do not readopt your suicidal ways, I will be forced to have the King take action.

HAMLET: Of course! Yes! How is f-f-f-f-f-f-f . . .

GERTRUDE: Pardon?

HAMLET: How is F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-AAAA . . .

GERTRUDE: Was idiocy part of your New Year’s pact as well?

HAMLET: F-f-f-ah-ahGERTRUDE: Father?

HAMLET: Yes! GERTRUDE: Your father is dead, Hamlet. If there’s one thing you have given overabundant appreciation, it’s that.

HAMLET: No, I mean the King, your husband, Claudius. My new f-f-f-f-f-ah-ah-ah . . .

GERTRUDE: Son, are you telling me you’re prepared to call Claudius your . . .

HAMLET: F-f-f-f-ah-ah-ah-ah-th-th-

— 23 —

A ntic

R esolutions

GERTRUDE: Yes? HAMLET: F-f-f-ah-ah-th-th-th- . . . (Finally spits it out.) FATHER! OPHELIA: GERTRUDE: Holy crap.

Holy crap.

HAMLET: I would like to apologize to F-F-F-F-Father for all of the difficulty I’ve caused him these past few months.

GERTRUDE: Well. I don’t. I never thought.

HAMLET: Like I said, Mother, I’m a new son. Now, please, where is he? This can’t wait any longer.

GERTRUDE: Well . . . he’s in his study. Will you really call him Father?

HAMLET: Of course! And I will embrace him as lovingly as I embraced you.

OPHELIA: Yeah maybe don’t do that.

HAMLET: I go! F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-FAAAAAAAATHEEERRRRR!!!!!!

(HAMLET races off. Pause. GERTRUDE and OPHELIA stand in silence. It gets a bit awkward. Pause. It gets a bit more awkward. Pause. CLAUDIUS enters.)

CLAUDIUS: I stabbed him.

End of play.

— 24 —

BRIGHT SHINING SEA

By Julianne Jigour

— 25 —

BRIGHT SHINING SEA

By Julianne Jigour BRIGHT SHINING SEA was originally developed by PlayGround– LA (James A. Kleinmann, Artistic Director) for the Monday Night PlayGround staged reading series in residence at the Zephyr Theatre on October 19, 2015. It was directed by Lee Sankowich.

The cast was as follows: Brian.....................................................Bobak Bakhtiari Maya..................................................... Deidra Edwards BRIGHT SHINING SEA was presented at the Best of Play­Ground Gala on May 9, 2016. It was directed by Jim Kleinmann. The cast was as follows: Brian........................................................... Gary Poux Maya................................................. Cristina Fernandez A California native, Julianne Jigour has had staged readings and productions in the Bay Area, Los Angeles, Aspen, and New York. For her screenwriting, she has received funding from the Steeltown Entertainment Project and the Sloan Foundation.

Julianne earned her MFA in dramatic writing from Carnegie Mellon University.

— 26 —

BRIGHT SHINING SEA

By Julianne Jigour Characters: Maya, female, 30s Brian, male, 30s (A bathroom. MAYA sits in an empty bathtub. BRIAN enters.

He wears a jacket over his shirt. He studies Maya’s face.)

BRIAN: Have you been crying?

MAYA: No. BRIAN: Your face is wet.

MAYA: I’m in a bathtub.

(BRIAN looks down into the tub.)

BRIAN: There’s no water in it.

(MAYA looks down into the tub.)

MAYA: It hasn’t rained in months.

BRIAN: I finished packing.

MAYA: You should move closer to the ocean.

BRIAN: I’m moving to Reseda.

MAYA: That’s not closer to the ocean.

BRIAN: Why are you in here?

MAYA: I was thinking of how safe it feels to lie in water.

BRIAN: You could run the bath.

MAYA: We’re in a drought.

— 27 —

B right

S hining

S ea

BRIAN: I was calling to you from the living room. You didn’t answer.

MAYA: I was thinking of how the world sounds underwater. In the ocean, sound can travel for thousands of miles.

BRIAN: But you couldn’t hear me in the living room?

MAYA: Imagine a little lost whale crying thousands of miles away in the ocean. And her mother can hear her, can go to find her. Can call to her and tell her she’ll be okay.

BRIAN: (Remains silent.)

MAYA: (Remains silent.)

BRIAN: Have you been eating?

MAYA: I’ve been more thirsty than hungry.

BRIAN: Have you been seeing Dr. Lytton?

MAYA: She fell asleep when I was talking about the baby. So I took her sweater and laid it gently across her chest and tiptoed out of her office and never went back.

BRIAN: You could have woken her.

MAYA: I don’t blame her for falling asleep. She’d already heard the same story so many times, and stories can be ­relaxing, especially ones that repeat. That’s why they use them to put children to sleep. Sleeping can be relaxing. I wish I could sleep.

BRIAN: I could tell you a story.

MAYA: What story would you tell?

BRIAN: A happy one.

MAYA: You could tell the story of you and me.

BRIAN: I’d like to tell a happy one.

— 28 —

B right

S hining

S ea

MAYA: The beginning is happy. You can leave out the rest.

BRIAN: Once upon a time, we met at the ocean.

MAYA: It was dark.

BRIAN: But there was a fire. There were people and laughter.

And there was you and me. And when I saw you and you saw me, we went off together. You took my hand and we walked down the beach.

MAYA: And it was dark. So we couldn’t really see. But we could hear the waves.

BRIAN: And I could hear your breath. And I could feel your skin.

MAYA: And the sand was cold on my bare toes.

BRIAN: The water lapped around our feet, and you told me that all water on Earth— MAYA: Comes from the same place and that there’s water in you and water in me, so we already have a lot in common.

BRIAN: So you said we didn’t have to do all the getting to know you talk. We could do that later.

MAYA: I wanted to go in the water. To swim in the swells. I wanted our first kiss to be in the ocean, where everything begins.

BRIAN: But I said I couldn’t swim.

MAYA: And despite myself, I liked that. I liked your deficiency.

I thought, what will this poor man do when the oceans rise until there’s no more land? I should take care of him. With me, he won’t drown.

BRIAN: So we looked for a place to sit.

MAYA: For a place to be together in the dark. And we found something firm.

BRIAN: A tree trunk, we thought.

— 29 —

B right

S hining

S ea

MAYA: But when we sat, it wasn’t a tree.

BRIAN: A dead sea lion.

MAYA: We were going to sit together and hold hands and share our first kiss on a dead mammal.

BRIAN: I realized and got up. I tried to pull you with me. But you stayed put for a while, I would say, longer than normal. It wasn’t quite normal those moments you stayed seated there on the dead thing.

MAYA: I couldn’t tell from the smell of it. I guess because everything at the ocean smells a certain sort of wrong and a certain sort of right. Like sex and birth and blood.

BRIAN: I asked you to get up.

MAYA: I said, it’s so tender for her to hold us like this in her death.

BRIAN: You didn’t say that.

MAYA: But I would now. I would say, it’s so tender for her to hold us like this in her death.

BRIAN: I said, get up.

MAYA: I said, I wonder what the last sound was that she heard before she couldn’t hear anymore.

BRIAN: You didn’t say that.

MAYA: But I would now. I would say, I hope the last sound she heard was pretty.

BRIAN: I said, shut up.

MAYA: You didn’t say that.

BRIAN: But I would now. I would say, shut up and get up off that dead thing and try harder to love me.

— 30 —

B right

S hining

S ea

MAYA: (Remains silent.)

BRIAN: (Remains silent.)

MAYA: I did get up.

BRIAN: You did.

MAYA: And when I did, we realized there were more. That all around us dead sea lions had washed up on shore.

BRIAN: I took your hand to head back to the fire, but you stopped me and kissed me there, carcasses around us, and said, it’s okay because where one thing ends, something beautiful can begin.

MAYA: Perhaps now I would say, something isn’t right here.

Something here is damaged, and maybe we won’t be okay.

BRIAN: But in the real story, you kissed me, and we started to fall in love.

MAYA: (Remains silent.)

BRIAN: (Remains silent.)

MAYA: Did you pack up all the baby stuff?

BRIAN: Yes. MAYA: I can’t look at it.

BRIAN: I know.

MAYA: When we went to the doctor that last time— BRIAN: I don’t think I can talk about it again.

— 31 —

B right

S hining

S ea

MAYA: I just—I don’t think I ever told you that when we went to the doctor that last time, the sky was a little gray.

And I thought, maybe it could rain, and if it rained, maybe there would be enough fluid in me this time, and if there were enough fluid in me this time, my baby could float. And if my baby could float . . . It didn’t rain.

BRIAN: (Remains silent.)

MAYA: Do you want to get in here with me?

BRIAN: No. MAYA: Why not?

BRIAN: I can’t swim.

MAYA: Besides that one thing, I think you would have been a good father.

BRIAN: I should go.

(BRIAN turns to go.)

MAYA: (Stopping BRIAN.) I wish I could hold something inside me long enough to let it live.

BRIAN: I wish you really wanted me to stay.

MAYA: (Remains silent.)

BRIAN: (Remains silent.)

MAYA: Sometimes, do you wish we hadn’t named her?

BRIAN: Yes. MAYA: Me too.

BRIAN: Are you going to stay in here?

MAYA: Yes.

— 32 —

B right

S hining

S ea

BRIAN: To sleep?

MAYA: I’ll close my eyes.

(MAYA closes her eyes.)

MAYA: Thanks for telling me a story.

(BRIAN takes off his jacket and places it across MAYA’s chest like a blanket.)

BRIAN: In the real ending, a beautiful baby named Muriel floats out to sea, where the Earth holds her, and where she can feel her mother’s love from thousands of miles away.

(MAYA curls up in the tub. BRIAN turns off the lights and quietly exits the room.)

End of play.

— 33 —

— 34 —

GOODNIGHT JOANNE

By Nicki Spencer

— 35 —

GOODNIGHT JOANNE

By Nicki Spencer GOODNIGHT JOANNE was originally developed by PlayGround– LA (James A. Kleinmann, Artistic Director) for the Monday Night PlayGround staged reading series in residence at the Zephyr Theatre on January 11, 2016. It was directed by Frieda de Lackner. The cast was as follows: Joanne.................................................... Christina Wren Frank.......................................................... Jon Gentry Frank’s Resolution.......................................... Greg Bryan Joanne’s Resolution...................................Sherry Michaels GOODNIGHT JOANNE was presented at the Best of Play­Ground Gala on May 9, 2016. It was directed by Ivan Rivas. The cast was as follows: Joanne.................................................... Krystal Mosley Frank........................................................... Gary Poux Frank’s Resolution....................................... Richard Ruyle Joanne’s Resolution............................... Cristina Fernandez Nicki Spencer received her Master of Professional Writing degree from the University of Southern California in 2015. She has written many short plays, stories, and a feature-length script.

She currently works as a Writer’s Assistant for an upcoming History Channel drama, and plans to continue a career writing for television.

— 36 —

GOODNIGHT JOANNE

By Nicki Spencer Characters: Joanne, female, 25; a highly capable woman, except when it comes to dating Frank, male, 27; handsome but awkward in a painfully relatable way Frank’s Resolution, male, any age; very suave James Bond type with the sexy British accent to match Joanne’s Resolution, female, any age; geeky librarian type who is not at all easy to charm Note: The Resolutions are free to wander around and react to the actions of Joanne and Frank as they watch them. For most of the play, Frank’s Resolution and Joanne’s Resolution cannot see each other or interact.

(A friendly porch with a red front door at center. FRANK’S RESOLUTION stands upstage right. JOANNE’S RESOLUTION stands upstage left. They both watch FRANK and JOANNE enter. Frank and Joanne walk towards the porch. They linger in front of the door.)

JOANNE: Wait . . . so your brother and sister accidentally kissed?

Oh my god. That’s horrible!

FRANK: Horrible for them. Hysterical for the rest of mankind.

(They both laugh until it dissipates into silence. They stare into each other’s eyes. It’s that “will they/won’t they” kiss kind of moment. The silence lasts for too long. FRANK leans his head in ever so slightly for a kiss. He pulls it back.

It’s awkward. FRANK’S RESOLUTION snaps his fingers or claps twice and approaches Frank. JOANNE and JOANNE’S RESOLUTION freeze in place, stuck in time.)

FRANK’S RESOLUTION: What are you doing?

FRANK: Ah! Who the hell are you?

— 37 —

G oodnight

J oanne

FRANK’S RESOLUTION: You’re just staring at her. It’s two seconds away from being terribly creepy.

FRANK: Joanne? Joanne! What’s wrong with her?

FRANK’S RESOLUTION: I didn’t have to interfere during your date, but this is the pivotal moment of the night, and so far it’s an utter disaster.

(FRANK waves his hands in front of JOANNE. She remains a statue.)

FRANK’S RESOLUTION: She can’t move. I stopped time for a bit.

You needed to take a moment. And since I’m your New Year’s Resolution— FRANK: Wait, you’re my . . . what?

(FRANK’S RESOLUTION pulls out a sheet of paper. Reads.)

FRANK’S RESOLUTION: “I will do everything in my power to not enter The Friend Zone in 2016. To be a bold, move-making ladies man.” This is yours, correct?

FRANK: Well, yeah. Actually that is my resolution.

FRANK’S RESOLUTION: Well, I am the embodiment of your resolution. I’m here to make sure you are not put in the Friend Zone. I’m here to help you be bold with the ladies, to go for that mindboggling kiss that makes her knees weak! No longer are you Frank Stumbaugh, King of The Friend Zone. Now you will be Frank Stumbaugh, Lover Extraordinaire.

FRANK: So . . . you’re here to help me on this date?

FRANK’S RESOLUTION: Exactly. And you managed very well ­during dinner. I didn’t have to interrupt once!

FRANK: Yeah well . . . It was a blast . . . she’s really great . . .

FRANK’S RESOLUTION: Yes she is. Now, what are you going to do to repair this moment?

— 38 —

G oodnight

J oanne

FRANK: This moment isn’t so bad . . .

FRANK’S RESOLUTION: Frank, it is probably the most awkward encounter I’ve ever witnessed. You must take action!

Otherwise you’ll muck it up like you did with every woman you dated in 2015.

FRANK: It wasn’t . . . every woman.

FRANK’S RESOLUTION: Annie, Julianne, Tayah, Caroline.

FRANK: What about ’em?

FRANK’S RESOLUTION: All Friend Zoned. Nancy and Pam on the other hand were just plain weirded out by your behavior and therefore never returned your phone calls. And Stephanie got a restraining order because you broke her dog’s leg.

FRANK: That was an accident! I swear!

FRANK’S RESOLUTION: It doesn’t matter, Frank! You hurt the woman’s dog for Chrissake! But that’s all so 2015. Now, be the new you. Grow a pair and just kiss this girl!

FRANK: OK! That’s the plan. I’m just gonna do it!

(FRANK gets back in place. FRANK’S RESOLUTION snaps twice. JOANNE and JOANNE’S RESOLUTION unfreeze.)

JOANNE: The restaurant was really great!

FRANK: Oh good. So you liked your ravioli?

JOANNE: Loved it.

FRANK: Oh. Good . . .

(They both nod. JOANNE’S RESOLUTION snaps twice. FRANK and FRANK’S RESOLUTION freeze.)

JOANNE’S RESOLUTION: What are you doing Joanne?

— 39 —

G oodnight

J oanne

JOANNE: Ya know, you’re really starting to annoy me. All evening you’ve interrupted this date.

JOANNE’S RESOLUTION: I know what you’re doing here. You’re doing the linger.

JOANNE: That’s ridiculous. I’m just standing here is all.

JOANNE’S RESOLUTION: Exactly! You’re just standing there.

Lingering. This is what you do when you want the guy to kiss you. Classic Joanne!

JOANNE: So what’s wrong with a kiss?

JOANNE’S RESOLUTION: No intimacy on the first date. That’s what you said. That’s why I exist.

JOANNE: I know, I know—It just seems silly now . . . How about I change it to no sex on the first date?

JOANNE’S RESOLUTION: No. You specifically said no intimacy because you know yourself. And if you really like a guy and kiss him, then you’ll invite him up, and if you invite him up, you’ll take off your clothes, and if you take off your clothes you’ll go down— JOANNE: I get it! Jesus! It doesn’t always happen that way.

JOANNE’S RESOLUTION: Well, it happened that way with Ryan, Evan, Rick, Jason, Mitch, Mario . . . Oh Mario! Remember him?

Can’t blame you for that one. He was dee-li-cious. But you get the point.

JOANNE: But, this guy is different from them. I mean he’s a little awkward but I kinda like that. And he’s really funny . . . cute.

I don’t see the harm with one kiss.

JOANNE’S RESOLUTION: There’s nothing wrong with one kiss.

But you’re trying something new in 2016. You’re taking the intimacy part out for the first date so that you can really focus on getting to know the guy without the haze of arousal clouding your judgment . . . right?

— 40 —

G oodnight

J oanne

JOANNE: Yeah. OK, you’re right. No intimacy this time.

JOANNE’S RESOLUTION: He’ll still be really cute next week when you go on your second date. Wouldn’t that be nice? A second date. Now grab your keys and go straight inside, otherwise you might . . .

JOANNE: Kiss?

JOANNE’S RESOLUTION: But that won’t happen, right?

JOANNE: Right! No smooching from me, Mister!

JOANNE’S RESOLUTION: Don’t even look at him. Just look down.

Grab the keys.

(JOANNE gets back in place. JOANNE’S RESOLUTION snaps her fingers twice. FRANK and FRANK’S RESOLUTION unfreeze.)

FRANK: To be honest I don’t even remember what I ate, I couldn’t stop looking at you.

(FRANK and JOANNE lock eyes. FRANK begins to awkwardly lean in for the kiss again. JOANNE panics and looks into her purse. FRANK doesn’t notice she’s looking down until the last second and accidentally bites the top of her head.)

JOANNE: Ow! FRANK: Oh God! I’m sorry!

JOANNE: Did you just bite me?

FRANK: Um . . .

(FRANK’S RESOLUTION snaps his fingers twice. JOANNE and JOANNE’S RESOLUTION freeze.)

FRANK’S RESOLUTION: What in God’s name was that?

FRANK: I dunno! I was going in for the kiss because she was giving me the googly eyes. But then she looked down . . . and I was moving . . . and by then my teeth—

— 41 —

G oodnight

J oanne

FRANK’S RESOLUTION: Lord, Frank! Why were teeth even involved? You know what? Doesn’t matter. What matters now is how you pull this off.

FRANK: I think I should abort the mission.

FRANK’S RESOLUTION: No! This is 2016, remember? 2016-FrankStumbaugh doesn’t cower away from an awkward accidental tooth fiasco! You barrel through and get that kiss any way you can.

FRANK: I don’t think I can now.

FRANK’S RESOLUTION: If you don’t make a bold move now, Frank, she’s going to either Friend Zone you, or never return your calls.

FRANK: But what about the biting?

FRANK’S RESOLUTION: Brush it off as a joke. Trust me, you’ve got this!

FRANK: Joke. I can do a joke.

FRANK’S RESOLUTION: Ready?

(FRANK gets back in place in front of JOANNE. He nods to FRANK’S RESOLUTION. Frank’s Resolution snaps his fingers twice. JOANNE and JOANNE’S RESOLUTION unfreeze.)

JOANNE: It sure feels like you bit me . . .

(FRANK pulls his arms in tight and chomps his teeth, mimicking a T-Rex.) FRANK: That’s cuz I’m a T-Rex. Roar!

(JOANNE gives him a weird look. FRANK’S RESOLUTION snaps twice. JOANNE and JOANNE’S RESOLUTION freeze.)

FRANK’S RESOLUTION: Stop! OK? Just . . . stop.

FRANK: In my head it was funnier.

— 42 —

G oodnight

J oanne

FRANK’S RESOLUTION: How about no more jokes from now on.

This is a sexually charged moment. No laughing. Just be open and honest with her. And DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT become a dinosaur of any kind again this evening. Actually, let’s make that one a rule for your whole life.

(FRANK gets back in place again. FRANK’S RESOLUTION double snaps. JOANNE and JOANNE’S RESOLUTION unfreeze.)

FRANK: I’m sorry. That was a bad joke. I didn’t mean to actually bite you. You just make me nervous . . . you’re really really pretty.

(JOANNE fiddles with her keys. JOANNE’S RESOLUTION snaps twice. FRANK and FRANK’S RESOLUTION freeze.)

JOANNE: Hey! We were kinda having a moment!

JOANNE’S RESOLUTION: What’s that, Joanne? I don’t like this business right here.

(JOANNE’S RESOLUTION gestures to JOANNE’s keys.)

JOANNE: You have something against keys?

JOANNE’S RESOLUTION: You’re doing the fiddle. It’s worse than the linger! Oh God I’m getting light headed.

JOANNE: Well I don’t know what the fiddle is but— JOANNE’S RESOLUTION: Oh don’t play dumb. You know what I’m talking about. Fiddling with your keys, that’s the “kiss signal” according to every romantic comedy ever made! So unoriginal.

JOANNE: Maybe . . . but it works.

JOANNE’S RESOLUTION: Ah ha! I knew it! You are trying to kiss him.

JOANNE: Well . . .

— 43 —

G oodnight

J oanne

JOANNE’S RESOLUTION: Really, Joanne? The man bit you on the head for Pete’s sake!

JOANNE: Yeah . . . that was pretty bad, but he made up for it.

JOANNE’S RESOLUTION: By what, calling you “pretty”?

JOANNE: Well . . . yeah! It was sweet. I think we could really have something together.

JOANNE’S RESOLUTION: I think so too. As long as you turn around and go inside. Now. JOANNE: Just a bit longer.

JOANNE’S RESOLUTION: If you leave now, no kiss, no nothing, I guarantee he’ll come back for date number 2.

JOANNE: But—OK fine.

(JOANNE gets back in place. JOANNE’S RESOLUTION snaps twice. FRANK and FRANK’S RESOLUTION unfreeze.)

JOANNE: Well thanks for dinner. I had a great time.

(FRANK’S RESOLUTION snaps twice. JOANNE and JOANNE’S RESOLUTION freeze.)

FRANK’S RESOLUTION: No! That’s a closing line. Say something to keep her there.

FRANK: Like what?

FRANK’S RESOLUTION: Grab her hands. Say something about puppies! No wait, say something about her eyes!

(FRANK’S RESOLUTION snaps his fingers twice. JOANNE and JOANNE’S RESOLUTION unfreeze.)

FRANK: Uh . . . your eyes remind me of a puppy . . .

JOANNE: Oh . . . that’s . . . sweet. Thanks.

— 44 —

G oodnight

J oanne

(JOANNE’S RESOLUTION snaps twice. FRANK and FRANK’S RESOLUTION freeze.)

JOANNE’S RESOLUTION: Oh please. Don’t tell me you’re falling for that crap.

JOANNE: Come on! It was cute! Don’t worry; I’m still going to go inside.

(JOANNE’S RESOLUTION snaps twice. FRANK and FRANK’S RESOLUTION unfreeze. JOANNE turns to put her key in the door. Frank’s Resolution snaps twice. Joanne and Joanne’s Resolution freeze.)

FRANK’S RESOLUTION: Don’t let her put those keys in the door!

Stop her!

(FRANK’S RESOLUTION snaps twice. JOANNE and JOANNE’S RESOLUTION unfreeze. She goes to put the key in the door.

FRANK slaps the keys out of her hand. They go flying.)

JOANNE: What are you doing?

(JOANNE’S RESOLUTION and FRANK’S RESOLUTION snap twice at the same time. Nobody freezes. For the first time, everybody can see each other and communicate with each other.)

JOANNE’S RESOLUTION & FRANK’S RESOLUTION: What was that?

Ah! Who are you?

JOANNE’S RESOLUTION: I’m her resolution. No intimacy on the first date!

FRANK’S RESOLUTION: Well I’m his resolution. To avoid The Friend Zone! To make bold sexual advancements!

JOANNE’S RESOLUTION: Well sorry, fancy pants, but that ain’t gonna happen tonight.

FRANK’S RESOLUTION: Don’t be ridiculous. It’s going to happen right this instant!

— 45 —

G oodnight

J oanne

(FRANK goes to retrieve the keys as FRANK’S RESOLUTION and JOANNE’S RESOLUTION fight. He gives them to JOANNE.) JOANNE’S RESOLUTION: Joanne is going upstairs. He won’t even get a kiss on the cheek!

FRANK’S RESOLUTION: You’re completely mad! Why don’t you just sod off!

(FRANK grabs JOANNE and finally plants a kiss on her. She lets him. JOANNE’S RESOLUTION and FRANK’S RESOLUTION go silent.)

JOANNE: Good night, Frank.

FRANK: Good night, Joanne. I’ll call you tomorrow?

(JOANNE smiles and nods. She turns the key and enters her house. She exits. FRANK exits. The RESOLUTIONS are left on stage, dumbfounded. They look at each other, Frank’s Resolution smiles and holds up a high five towards Joanne’s Resolution as she crosses her arms, annoyed. Frank’s Resolution realizes she won’t give him a high five. He highfives himself. Lights out.)

End of play.

— 46 —

PSYCHO

By Jessica June Rowe

— 47 —

PSYCHO

By Jessica June Rowe PSYCHO was originally developed by PlayGround–LA (James A. Kleinmann, Artistic Director) for the Monday Night PlayGround staged reading series in residence at the Zephyr Theatre on December 14, 2015. It was directed by Lee Sankowich. The cast was as follows: Mike......................................................Bobak Bakhtiari Jenna..................................................... Christina Wren Waiter.................................................... Mark Jacobson PSYCHO was presented at the Best of Play­Ground Gala on May 9, 2016. It was directed by Sylvia Blush. The cast was as follows: Mike...................................................Clayton B. Hodges Jenna..................................................... Krystal Mosley Waiter......................................................... Gary Poux Jessica June Rowe is the Editor-in-Chief of Exposition Review, and the former Fiction Editor of the Southern California Review.

Her work has been published, or is forthcoming in Noble/Gas Qtrly, Pidgeonholes, Timber Journal, and The Culture-ist. This is her second year as a PlayGround-LA playwright. Find her on Twitter @willwrite4chai.

— 48 —

PSYCHO

By Jessica June Rowe Characters: Mike, male, 20s to 30s; well-meaning but misguided dudebro Jenna, female, 20s to 30s; fast-talking and emotional, also a bit of a bro Waiter, male, 30s to 40s; just trying to do his job (Late night. A romantic restaurant, table for two. MIKE and JENNA are just finishing their meal. Jenna groans and pushes her plate away.)

JENNA: Oh my god. I’m such a whale, I can’t believe I ate all that!

MIKE: You kinda destroyed that spaghetti, babe.

JENNA: I totally did. I hate myself.

MIKE: You know, you’re, like, the coolest chick I know. And trust me, I’ve dated a lot of crazies.

(WAITER enters.)

WAITER: Did we save room for dessert? I have to say, our Christmas dessert menu is superb!

MIKE: What’ve you got?

WAITER: Tonight we have a flourless hazelnut chocolate cake, a holiday five-spice tarte tatin, and, a personal favorite, our famous gingerbread tiramisu— JENNA: Oh my god shut up. I mean, sorry, it sounds amazing, but I can’t.

WAITER: For the tiramisu, we also have a special champagne pairing. Very delicious (He leans in toward MIKE, whispers.) and very romantic.

— 49 —

P sycho

MIKE: Come on, babe, let’s share. If you eat it all, I’ll pretend I did, so you don’t feel bad.

JENNA: Aw, alright! God. WAITER: I’ll be right back.

(WAITER exits.)

JENNA: (Suspicious—but in a good way.) Mike. You didn’t need to do that.

MIKE: I want this to be romantic.

JENNA: Tonight was nice! Consider me romanced.

MIKE: Yeah. But I mean, special.

JENNA: Mike . . .

(MIKE reaches in his pocket, pulls out a velvet box.)

MIKE: It’s almost Christmas, and I’m not good at this stuff, but . . .

JENNA: Ohmygod.

MIKE: I really like you, Jens. I wanted to do something nice.

(He slides it across the table to her.)

MIKE: So I hope you don’t mind getting your gift a little early this year.

JENNA: (As she picks up the box.) Mike, oh my god, Mike, I can’t believe this— (She opens the box—and freezes.)

MIKE: . . . So? Do you like it?

JENNA: It’s a bird.

— 50 —

P sycho

MIKE: Yeah! It’s for our first date— Just like tonight, we came to dinner here, and then walked over to the three-dollar ­theatre and saw that old movie. Y’know, the one that was basically that M. Night Shyamalan film about plants killing us all, but with birds. Fucking birds, man. That shit was awesome.

JENNA: (In shock.) Awesome.

(MIKE leans forward to show her, in fact, how awesome it is.)

MIKE: See? It’s covered in those, uh, Sarwoski? Saroffski? The really nice crystals girls like.

JENNA: . . . Is it a pin?

MIKE: Yeah! That way you can put it wherever you want. (He finger-guns at her.) Am I thoughtful boyfriend or what?

JENNA: You are a boyfriend.

MIKE: . . . You don’t seem excited.

JENNA: (Not excited.) No, it’s great. I mean, really. Am I talking too much about it? Shut me up, I’m so excited.

(A pause. MIKE throws himself back in his chair and groans.)

MIKE: You totally hate it.

JENNA: Well, yeah!

MIKE: This is a great gift! It’s pretty. It’s personal. It’s expensive . . . ish. What did I do wrong?

JENNA: Um, maybe don’t give your girlfriend a velvet black box with a sparkling bird inside it!

MIKE: (After a pause.) Wait. You thought—?

(JENNA nods emphatically.)

— 51 —

P sycho

MIKE: Like, me. Propose. To you?

JENNA: Yes! God! MIKE: Why the fuck would you think that?

(JENNA gasps. WAITER returns, sets champagne glasses on the table, opens his mouth—) JENNA: Because I love you, you dumb fuck!

WAITER: . . . I’ll come back.

(WAITER exits.)

MIKE: (Dumbfounded, struggling.) Jenna. Jenna. Jenna? Don’t you think this a bit fast?

JENNA: You were sending all the right signals!

MIKE: What signals? There were no signals!

JENNA: Um, the private alcove, the dessert, the champagne? All of that, at the same restaurant where we had our first date?

MIKE: I like the spaghetti here! So do you!

JENNA: And it’s the holidays! TheKnot.com says Christmas is the most popular day to propose.

MIKE: You know it’s not actually Christmas— JENNA: Do I sound like I care?! (She takes a deep breath, com­ poses herself.) I mean. I guess it’s not your fault. We haven’t really discussed it . . .

MIKE: (Relieved.) Exactly.

JENNA: But now we have!

(JENNA pulls out her phone.)

— 52 —

P sycho

JENNA: There has to be a store around here, right? Siri, FIND JEWELRY STORE OPEN NOW. MIKE: Siri NO! No! I’m still not proposing to you.

JENNA: (Pouts.) Why not?

MIKE: We’re not ready to get married. We haven’t even said I love you!

JENNA: I just said it!

MIKE: Yeah, out of nowhere— JENNA: And don’t think I didn’t notice you didn’t say it back. Oh. Oh . . . God. You don’t love me.

(WAITER walks in. JENNA bursts into tears. WAITER turns around and walks out without stopping.)

JENNA: (Sobbing.) We’ve been living a lie. You don’t love me.

MIKE: Woah. Hey, Jenna. Jenna. Jens? Calm down, please.

Jenna. Jenna. Jenna.

JENNA: Stop saying my name, you monster! Do you even know what love is?

(JENNA uses her napkin to blow her nose loudly.)

MIKE: Jesus.

JENNA: Is there someone else?

MIKE: No! JENNA: Then why don’t you love me?

MIKE: Because we’ve only been dating a month!

JENNA: (Sniffling.) What’s your point?

MIKE: That’s the point! That’s all the points!

— 53 —

P sycho

(JENNA wails. MIKE cringes. He looks around at other restaurant patrons, smiles awkwardly.)

MIKE: Hey, please. Jenna. People are starting to stare. Jenna.

Jenna. Come on, babe, stop crying.

JENNA: How—how—how—how—how—how—how could you do this to me?

(She wails again. MIKE moves close to reason with her, talking to her like she’s a skittish baby dear.)

MIKE: Jenna. Jenna. Babe? Look at me. Come on, eyes up here.

(She looks up. They lock eyes.)

JENNA: MIKE: I forgive you. I think we should break up.

(They stare at each other. Then—JENNA screams a scream of primal rage and lunges at MIKE, knocking him to the ground.

She kneels over him, hits him.)

JENNA: I hate you! You asshole! Moron! Insensitive feelings murderer!

(She grabs the velvet box from the table, throws the pin—) MIKE: Ow! (—then the box—) MIKE: Okay, okay, I’m sorry! But you’ve gotta admit you’re acting a little— (—then grabs the knife from the table—) JENNA: A little what? HUH? MIKE: Woah, woah, woah, I’m so sorry, babe, I love you, I love you so much.

(JENNA lifts the knife high over her head.)

— 54 —

P sycho

MIKE: (High-pitched.) Jesus fuck don’t kill me please don’t kill me I don’t wanna die!

(WAITER enters, runs forward to grab JENNA’s wrist.)

WAITER: STOP! Enough, Jenna!

JENNA: Alright, alright, let go.

(JENNA drops the knife. She climbs off MIKE, brushes herself off. She’s 100% composed. The coolest of cucumbers.)

MIKE: Oh dude, fuck, thank you— WAITER: (To JENNA, ignoring MIKE.) I told you, Sis, you can use the restaurant, but take the stunts outside.

MIKE: Sis?!

JENNA: I know, I’m sorry. I was on a roll.

WAITER: I have other customers, okay?

(WAITER looks at other restaurant patrons.)

WAITER: (To them.) More breadsticks?

JENNA: Won’t happen again.

MIKE: What is going on?!

WAITER: (To JENNA, quietly.) Wrap it up, Sis. Don’t make me come back out here.

(WAITER smiles at other patrons, leaves. JENNA rolls her eyes. She turns to MIKE, offers her hand. Mike backs up, stands.)

JENNA: (Long-suffering.) Come on, grow a pair.

MIKE: You just tried to kill me!

— 55 —

P sycho

JENNA: I wouldn’t have really killed you . . . (Proud.) Pretty ­convincing though, amirite?

MIKE: What the fuck.

JENNA: Don’t worry, dude. You’re not the first to fall for it.

Won’t be the last.

(She walks over to the table, sits, takes a sip of champagne.

Makes a happy noise.)

MIKE: You are crazy— JENNA: Oh and there it is! The magic word. Now the spell is officially broken.

(She pulls a notebook out of her purse. Grabs a business card from inside, hands it to MIKE.) MIKE: What is this . . . “Crazy Good Revenge . . . Jenna Markey . . .

Professional Actress?”

(He turns to her. She nods happily. He keeps reading.)

MIKE: “Guys love to talk about their crazy ex-­girlfriends. Now you can show him what crazy really is.” (To JENNA.) Are you fucking kidding me?

JENNA: (Shrugging.) Pays the bills.

MIKE: Who put you up to this? Was it Megan? Laura? Chrissy?

JENNA: The fact that you can name so many girls that fast, says so much.

(JENNA flips through her notebook.)

JENNA: But to answer your question, I got a call from . . .

Dana. She said after you broke up you called her “crazy” because she left you a bunch of messages.

MIKE: (Defensive.) We’d broken up! I didn’t feel like talking.

— 56 —

P sycho

JENNA: You had her cat.

MIKE: I figured that out. Eventually.

JENNA: But not before you went to all your mutual friends and called her . . . (Checking her notebook.) “a psycho stalker bitch.”

MIKE: Okay, fine, maybe that wasn’t cool.

JENNA: And because I am a professional, after she hired me, I did some research. Seems you’re a repeat offender when it comes to accusing girls of being bananas. Dana had the contact info of your most recent exes— MIKE: She what?

JENNA: Oh, didn’t you know? Men love to bitch about their crazy exes, but us “crazies” looooooove to share deets about our asshole ex-boyfriends. It’s good looking out.

MIKE: No, it’s . . . cruel. (Pause.) I actually liked you. I wanted to invite you to my parents’ place for Christmas.

JENNA: (Joking.) Moving a little fast, don’t you think?

(MIKE sits back down, puts his head in his hand and groans.)

JENNA: (Taking pity.) Listen. My job is to teach lessons to all these jerks, right? But that means I actually have to spend time with them. And for the most part, they are unteachable. Literally the worst. You . . . have some bad habits. But you’re not the worst. I even had fun. Sometimes.

MIKE: (Sarcastic.) Thanks, I guess.

JENNA: Suck it up and take the compliment dude.

MIKE: Sorry.

(She grabs her purse, starts to leave—but then turns, picks the bird pin from the ground, holds it up. MIKE looks up.)

— 57 —

P sycho

JENNA: You’re right, though. That bird movie was . . . kinda awesome.

MIKE: (Smiling a bit.) Yeah, it was. Crazy good.

JENNA: (Smirking.) See you around, Mike.

(She keeps the pin. Exits.)

End of play.

— 58 —

SHE HAS SEEN THE WOLF

By Allie Costa

— 59 —

SHE HAS SEEN THE WOLF

By Allie Costa SHE HAS SEEN THE WOLF was originally developed by PlayGround– LA (James A. Kleinmann, Artistic Director) for the Monday Night PlayGround staged reading series in residence at the Zephyr Theatre on March 14, 2016. It was directed by Jim Kleinmann.

The cast was as follows: Scarlett....................................................... Lyndsy Kail Jasper.................................................Clayton B. Hodges Officer Graff............................................ Tahmus Rounds SHE HAS SEEN THE WOLF was presented at the Best of Play­ Ground Gala on May 9, 2016. It was directed by Jennifer Chang.

The cast was as follows: Scarlett................................................... Christina Wren Jasper.................................................Clayton B. Hodges Officer Graff.............................................. Richard Ruyle Allie Costa works in film, TV, theatre, and voiceover as an actor, writer, director, and singer. She has appeared in shows as varied as Spring Awakening, Hamlet, and 90210. Her original plays and screenplays include Femme Noir, How I Knew Her, A Taste of the Future, and Can You Keep a Secret? www.alliecosta.com

— 60 —

SHE HAS SEEN THE WOLF

By Allie Costa

In memory of Janese Talton-Jackson and those with similar stories—and in defiance of strangers who tried to take me and make me a statistic.

Characters: Scarlett, female, late teens to late 20s; reeling from a recent ordeal and frustrated that no one believes her Jasper, male, 20s to 40s; insidious. Must be able to wolfwhistle.

Officer Graff, male, 40s; openly scoffs at Scarlett’s claims

Setting: The woods. A street. A police station. Modern day.

Recommended Song: Li’l Red Riding Hood by Sam the Sham & The Pharoahs (or the cover version by Amanda Seyfried) (Lights rise on an empty stage. SCARLETT, wearing a red zip‑up hooded sweatshirt over a faded T-shirt with comfortable jeans and sneakers, enters from stage right, listening to music in headphones and clearly intending to walk straight through to stage left. JASPER saunters in from stage left. He spots Scarlett and wolf-whistles as he slowly and easily strides towards center stage. Scarlett stops in her tracks for half a second before shaking it off and continuing her walk—until Jasper catches up to her and walks beside her, matching her stride. Scarlett stops, warily, and pops one earbud out of her ear.)

SCARLETT: (Deliberately.) Can I help you?

JASPER: What big eyes you have.

(SCARLETT rolls her eyes and tries to walk on, but JASPER matches her pace, even starts to walk backward.)

JASPER: Where you going?

(JASPER stands squarely in her way.)

— 61 —

S he

H as

S een

the

W olf

SCARLETT: (Firmly.) Excuse me.

JASPER: Not safe for a pretty girl to be walking alone in the woods.

SCARLETT: (Firmly.) Get out of my way.

JASPER: (Grinning.) I think I ought to walk with you for a ways, make sure you get where you’re supposed to go.

(SCARLETT moves to get past him, but JASPER grabs her upper arms tightly. They struggle, which makes both Scarlett’s fear and Jasper’s smile grow.)

SCARLETT: Let go!

(Another man’s voice is heard; this is OFFICER GRAFF, standing in the aisle of the audience, where he has been all this time. When Graff speaks, SCARLETT and JASPER freeze and Scarlett looks at Graff.)

OFFICER GRAFF: Wait, wait, wait . . .

(OFFICER GRAFF lumbers down the aisle and walks up to SCARLETT.) OFFICER GRAFF: If he grabbed you, why don’t you have any bruises?

(JASPER lets go of SCARLETT, and now she talks to GRAFF directly, as if they are in a police station. Graff may or may not take notes as the scene continues. Meanwhile, Jasper becomes the observer, smirking and circling around the others. Scarlett is the only one aware of Jasper’s presence.)

SCARLETT: . . . Long sleeves, I guess?

OFFICER GRAFF: (Doubtful.) Mm-hmm. What were you wearing?

SCARLETT: A sweatshirt. A hoodie.

OFFICER GRAFF: What color was it?

— 62 —

S he

H as

S een

the

W olf

SCARLETT: Red. OFFICER GRAFF: Tsk. Tsk. Bright colors attract wild animals.

What else did you have on?

SCARLETT: Jeans?

OFFICER GRAFF: (With a touch of condescension.) Is that a question?

SCARLETT: No. OFFICER GRAFF: Because you said it like it was a question.

SCARLETT: Sorry if my inflection is a little off, but I was just attacked.

OFFICER GRAFF: And when you say “attacked” . . . ?

SCARLETT: He grabbed me.

(Facing SCARLETT, JASPER grabs her around the waist.)

OFFICER GRAFF: Did he force himself on you?

SCARLETT: No. (This is a response to both GRAFF’s question and Jasper’s actions. Then JASPER grabs her shoulders, and again she says—) No. OFFICER GRAFF: So he grabbed you— (Again, JASPER grabs SCARLETT’s upper arms.)

OFFICER GRAFF: —and then?

(SCARLETT doesn’t immediately respond.)

OFFICER GRAFF: (Prodding, growing exasperated.) Did he do anything else?

SCARLETT: He— let me go.

(JASPER lets go.)

— 63 —

S he

H as

S een

the

W olf

OFFICER GRAFF: That’s it?

SCARLETT: No. Yes. I kept walking.

OFFICER GRAFF: You didn’t run?

SCARLETT: I— I couldn’t.

OFFICER GRAFF: You didn’t scream for help? Didn’t scratch him, get his DNA under your fingernails, some actual evidence?

SCARLETT: It all happened so fast. All I could think was I was almost there, I just had to get there, and I’d be safe.

OFFICER GRAFF: Where?

JASPER: Where you going?

SCARLETT: It was my grandmother’s birthday. I was going to her house. I— I was bringing her a cake.

OFFICER GRAFF: Where is it?

SCARLETT: What?

OFFICER GRAFF: The cake. Did you leave it behind?

SCARLETT: . . . I must have.

OFFICER GRAFF: You didn’t mention it before.

SCARLETT: I wasn’t thinking aboutJASPER: (Grinning.) I think I ought to walk with you for a ways, make sure you get where you’re supposed to go.

SCARLETT: I just wanted to get somewhere safe.

JASPER: Not safe for a pretty girl to be walking alone in the woods.

OFFICER GRAFF: You were travelling alone?

— 64 —

S he

H as

S een

the

W olf

SCARLETT: I’m a single woman. Am I supposed to have an escort everywhere I go?

OFFICER GRAFF: You had a conversation with this man?

SCARLETT: It wasn’t a conversation.

OFFICER GRAFF: He spoke to you— JASPER: What big eyes you have.

OFFICER GRAFF: —and you responded.

(JASPER stands in SCARLETT’s way.)

SCARLETT: . . . Yes. OFFICER GRAFF: You engaged him.

SCARLETT: I didn’t engage— OFFICER GRAFF: Why speak at all? Why not just ignore him?

SCARLETT: I could’ve. And he might’ve followed me anyway. Say something, don’t say something— There’s no good response.

There’s no good choice. There’s just a moment— this shared, scared moment— (SCARLETT and JASPER lock eyes. Scarlett delivers her next line to Jasper, even though it’s “meant” for GRAFF.) SCARLETT: Do you know what it’s like to be scared walking down the street at night— or broad daylight, or anywhere, at any time, and feel unsafe and exposed and vulnerable, just because of your anatomy?

OFFICER GRAFF: Of course not. I’m a m— (Cuts himself before he can say “man”.)

SCARLETT: (Looking at OFFICER GRAFF.) A what?

OFFICER GRAFF: (Trying to cover.) A member of law enforcement. (Goes back to his notes.) What were you wearing?

— 65 —

S he

H as

S een

the

W olf

(SCARLETT looks down at her sleeves and realizes . . . ) SCARLETT: It was my shield. It protected me.

OFFICER GRAFF: How? SCARLETT: It stopped him from touching me.

OFFICER GRAFF: I thought you said he grabbed you.

(JASPER grabs SCARLETT’s upper arms.)

SCARLETT: He did. But this— (She rubs the cuffs of the sweat­ shirt in her fingers.) It prevented him from touching my skin. From doing any further damage.

(JASPER lets go and steps back. SCARLETT looks at OFFICER GRAFF.) SCARLETT: Too bad I didn’t get his fingerprints on me, huh? You could’ve gotten something from that, coated me with powder, put me under black lights and watched me glow.

(OFFICER GRAFF, ashamed, does not respond.)

SCARLETT: I’m not scared of the shadows. Only what lurks in them.

OFFICER GRAFF: Not all men are wolves.

SCARLETT: That’s true— but this one was.

(Lights begin to slowly dim over the next sequence of lines and actions. OFFICER GRAFF shakes his head and starts to walk off into the house, down the aisle. His walk slows down ever so slightly the further he gets; he may turn back around and listen to SCARLETT for a moment before exiting. Meanwhile, JASPER crosses behind Scarlett and stands on the outskirts of the light, gradually consumed by the shadows, as Scarlett delivers her final monologue directly to the audience.)

— 66 —

S he

H as

S een

the

W olf

SCARLETT: Little girls, this seems to say, Never stop upon your way.

Never trust a stranger–friend; No one knows how it will end.

(OFFICER GRAFF completes his exit.)

SCARLETT: As you’re pretty, so be wise; Wolves may lurk in every guise.

Handsome they may be, and kind, Gay or charming, never mind!

(JASPER is completely in shadow now.)

SCARLETT: Now, as then, ’tis simple truth— Sweetest tongue has sharpest tooth!

(SCARLETT zips up her hoodie all the way. The sound of the zipper fills the room. She holds for a beat, taking a deep breath and anchoring herself to her heartbeat before she flips her hood up and steels herself for the next step of her journey. Blackout.)

End of play.

NOTES: In 2008, an international study revealed that almost 25% of women had experienced street harassment by age 12. That number increased to nearly 90% by age 19.

The closing lines of the play are the closing lines of the first published version of Little Red Riding Hood by French author Charles Perrault, where the story ends with the Wolf gobbling up Little Red. There was no woodsman.

No one was there to save her.

There’s a saying in French: “Elle avoit vû le loup.” Translated literally, it means “She has seen the wolf.” But it is an idiom, a slang expression meaning that a woman has lost her virginity. That her innocence has been lost.

— 67 —

— 68 —

Also in THE BEST OF PLAYGROUND Series Available for purchase online at www.playground-sf.org

THE BEST OF PLAYGROUND–LOS ANGELES (2015): About Your Mother

by Tiffany Cascio; Baby Black Jesus by Vincent Terrell Durham; Dinner Story by Mercedes Segesvary; Meeting Matt Damon by Ron Burch; Sexy Popcorn by Megan Breen; ’Til It’s Over by Jennie Webb THE BEST OF PLAYGROUND–SAN FRANCISCO (2015): Art and Tech by Kirk Shimano; Cratchit by Davern Wright; Frankenstein’s Grandmother

by Steven Westdahl; Preapocalyptica by Erin Marie Panttaja; Reading Babar in 2070 by Rachel Bublitz; Someone by Genne Murphy THE BEST OF PLAYGROUND–LOS ANGELES (2014): A Change of Heart by Vincent Terrell Durham; A David Lynch Family Christmas by Mark Sherstinsky; If I Were a Man by Mercedes Segesvary; Little Swan, a Pas De Deux by Allie Costa; Mass Effect by Forrest Hartl; Origin Story by Tiffany Cascio THE BEST OF PLAYGROUND–SAN FRANCISCO (2014): The Broken-Tooth Comb by William Bivins; Love Spacewalked In by Maury Zeff; Mr. Wong’s Goes to Washington by Ruben Grijalva; Riding Dragons by Victoria Chong Der; Stranger in a Stranger Land by Karen Macklin; When You Talk About This by Patricia Cotter THE BEST OF PLAYGROUND–LOS ANGELES (2013): Flight Time by Carolina Rojas Moretti; The Kid in the Trunk by John Corcoran; Pinocchia by Kathleen Cecchin; The Prince and the Closet Castle by Andrew Crabtree; Romeo and Jules by Ron Burch; Waiting for Kafka by Kevin Crust THE BEST OF PLAYGROUND–SAN FRANCISCO (2013): My Better Half by Jonathan Spector; Significant People by Amy Sass; Simple and Elegant

by Evelyn Jean Pine; The Spherical Loneliness of Beverly Onion by Katie May; Symmetrical Smack‑Down by William Bivins; Value Over Replacement

by Ruben Grijalva THE BEST OF PLAYGROUND (2012): Childless by Garret Jon Groenveld; Hella Love Oakland by Robin Lynn Rodriguez; Meet the Breeders by Ignacio Zulueta; Miss Finknagle Succumbs to Chaos by Kirk Shimano; Room for Rent by Mercedes Segesvary; Ships in the Day by Genevieve Jessee; You Eat What You Kill by Cleavon Smith THE BEST OF PLAYGROUND (2011): Calling the Kettle by Brady Lea; Ecce Homo by Jonathan Luskin; Escapades by Mandy Hodge Rizvi; Frigidare by Arisa White; Rapunzel’s Etymology of Zero by Katie May; See. On. Unseen.

The. Lost. by Evelyn Jean Pine; This Is My Body by Daniel Heath THE BEST OF PLAYGROUND (2010): 7 Nightmares by Erin Bregman; The Audition by Alex Moggridge; Back to Earth by Evelyn Jean Pine; A Futurist Supersaga in Six Acts by Tim Bauer; The New Season by Tom Swift; The Safety of Pools by Malachy Walsh; Undone by Diane Sampson THE BEST OF PLAYGROUND (2009): All Thumbs by Aaron Loeb; Gymnopédie #1 by Kenn Rabin; John Jacob O’Reilly Smitherton’s Bid to Save the World by Erin Bregman; Net by Geetha Reddy; Seen by Evelyn Jean Pine; Truffaldino Says No by Ken Slattery; Wednesday by Daniel Heath

Also in THE BEST OF PLAYGROUND Series Available for purchase online at www.playground-sf.org

THE BEST OF PLAYGROUND (2008): The Boy Who Did Not Listen to His Mother by Cass Brayton; Giving Up the Ghost by Lauren Yee; The Known World by Geetha Reddy; Leo by Daniel Heath; O Happy Dagger by Crish Barth; Panopticon by Aaron Loeb; The Secret Life of a Hotel Room by Garret Jon Groenveld THE BEST OF PLAYGROUND (2007): I’ll Be Home for Christmas by Tim Bauer; Investing by Evelyn Pine; Isle of Dogs, Part II by Richard Weingart; Man Plus Woman Equals . . . by Molly Rhodes; The Nurse’s Tale by Martha Soukup; Seagull by Daniel Heath; Unpleasantries by Aaron Loeb THE BEST OF PLAYGROUND (2006): And Now, A Word from Our Sponsors

by Tom Swift; Nowhere Man by Tim Bauer; Portals of the Past by David Garrett; Sewermonster Diaries by Brady Lea; Sexual Perversity in Año Nuevo by Ross Peter Nelson; Three Divided Into One by Molly Rhodes; Three, Um, Sisters by Geetha Reddy THE BEST OF PLAYGROUND (2005): Back by Evelyn Pine; Hands in Trash by Sharon Eberhardt; Mushroom Boy by Brady Lea; Obit by Geetha Reddy; Sever by Aaron Loeb; Spotter by Mark Routhier; The Beginning by Tom Swift THE BEST OF PLAYGROUND (2004): Aegis by Jonathan Luskin; Honey, I’m Home by Geetha Reddy; I Left My Heart on the 38 Geary by David Garrett; My Name Is Yin by Tom Swift; Reunion by Kenn Rabin; The Maror the Merrier by Aaron Loeb; The Wait of the World by Maria Rokas THE BEST OF PLAYGROUND (2003): Cold Calls by Martha Soukup; Hunters and Gatherers by Kenn Rabin; I’d Like to Buy a Vowel by Cass Brayton; Letterophilia by Kristina Goodnight; Plans and Peccadilloes by Maria Rokas; Sound by Aaron Loeb; The Vigil by Michael Lütz THE BEST OF PLAYGROUND (2002): A Pocket Full of Memories by David Garrett; Celadon Box #8 by Kenn Rabin; Missive by Garret Jon Groenveld; Peter’s Place In The Stars by Carol Marshall; Remember Paris

by Brady Lea; Shameful/Shameless by Aaron Loeb; The Bandersnatch by Kristina Goodnight THE BEST OF PLAYGROUND (1997-2001): A Bouncing Baby Girl by Mary Michael Wagner; Iowa by Malachy Walsh; Ondine by Garret Jon Groenveld; One of Those Things by Veronica Xavier Andrew; Sudden Descent by Sean Owens; The Docent by Mark Sherstinsky; The Golden Yes by Daniele Nathanson and Tania Katan THE BEST OF THE BEST OF PLAYGROUND (1994–2014): A special collection of six of the very best plays selected to celebrate PlayGround’s twentieth anniversary. Hella Love Oakland by Robin Lynn Rodriguez; My Name Is Yin by Tom Swift; Net by Geetha Reddy; Panopticon by Aaron Loeb; Rapunzel’s Etymology of Zero by Katie May; Truffaldino Says No by Ken Slattery

L O S

THE BEST OF PLAYGROUND–LOS ANGELES (2016)

A N G E L E S

Short plays by six of the leading emerging playwrights in Los Angeles, selected as best of the 2015–16 PlayGround–LA season and featured at the PlayGround Gala in May 2016.

She Has Seen the Wolf by Allie Costa A modern-day Red Riding Hood asserts herself after receiving unwanted attention from a wolf.

A New Happily Ever After

by Vincent Terrell Durham

A South Central twist on the classic tale of Cinderella!

Antic Resolutions by Arthur Keng The dark prince is in a better mood, and no one’s happy about it.

Psycho by Jessica June Rowe When Mike’s girlfriend mistakes his “romantic” Christmas gift for a pending proposal, a dinner date quickly gets out of hand. Hold on to your cutlery!

The Best of PlayGround – Los Angeles (2016)

Bright Shining Sea by Julianne Jigour An empty bathtub. Dead sea lions washed up on shore. A couple grapples with a personal loss that the Earth seems to echo back to them.

A New Happily Ever After VINCENT TERRELL DURHAM Antic Resolutions ARTHUR KENG

Goodnight Joanne by Nicki Spencer At the end of their first date, the pivotal moment of “will they/won’t they” kiss, Joanne and Frank are interrupted by their New Year’s resolutions.

For more information, visit www.playground-la.org

Bright Shining Sea JULIANNE JIGOUR Goodnight Joanne NICKI SPENCER Psycho JESSICA JUNE ROWE She Has Seen the Wolf ALLIE COSTA