MANAGING UNCERTAINTY Developing resilience and finding the certainty you need from within By Cleo Whitehead
I think it goes without saying that we like to feel in control of our lives and the situations that take place around us. Whilst this is possible to a certain extent there is no way that we can control everything that takes place. Uncertainty is a natural part of the human experience and COVID-19 is proof that unexpected things happen sometimes without much notice. We aren’t always equipped to know how to handle uncertain situations, and this doesn’t feel particularly comfortable to the human nervous system. and concern, our nervous system will respond to this worry and concern with feelings of stress, anxiety and overwhelm. The truth about worry In the midst of COVID-19 and modern-day life, most of us understand how it feels to be uncertain about something. Whether it’s around finances, a relationship, a career, a house move, or just the future in general, we’ve all experienced uncertainty. We also know that feeling uncertain can leave us feeling anxious, stressed and burnt out, and so it is only natural that we look for ways to manage this uncertainty. Subconsciously, most often we lean on the habitual tool that is best known as “worry”.
“Worry does not take away tomorrow’s troubles, it takes away todays peace” (Randy Armstrong) Worry plays its part in that it provides the illusion that we are in control. Subconsciously we believe that if we think about this situation and all the possibilities, if we play out the situation over and over in our minds – the more likely we are going to be able to handle it, and things will turn out just how we want. However, what can actually happen is that this style of rumination increases cortisol (stress hormone) in the body, over stimulates the nervous system, and lowers our overall resilience and our ability to problem solve and self-actualise. Effectively we enter a stage of flight, fright, freeze and fawn (WHO, 2020).
We are hardwired to look for certainty, safety, and security in our lives. Why? Because once upon a time (many years ago) we would have spent our time fighting for our lives in the wilderness. Whilst life can feel extremely difficult at times, most of us today aren’t physically fighting to stay alive under these conditions. However, our nervous system isn’t designed to understand the difference between REAL danger and perceived danger, so whilst our living conditions have changed for the better, we still operate from this wiring system. Our nervous system is simply picking up on our thoughts about the world around us and responding accordingly. So, if our thoughts are centred around feeling safe and secure our nervous system will respond with feelings of safety and security. However, if our thoughts are centred on worry
So, with this in mind, how can we learn to manage the uncertainty of the human experience and negative situations that take place in a healthy and helpful way? 30
