Brain Stew, 21-22, Issue 16

“All the Kenny News, Whether it’s Fit to Print or Not!”

The Kenny House Times May 15, 2020

LATE EDITION TODAY: Can it be called the Kenny House times if Kenny is unhoused?

COST: $4.20

Busted! Kenny Miller indicted for identity theft!

Tony

Kenny’s brother presses charges in a landmark case May 14, 2022, police stormed the stage at commencement and led Kenny away in one of those Hannibal Lector contraptions, later charging him with identity theft, slander, defamation of character, over-feeding cats, and picking up a dog by the hind legs and pretending he was a vacuum cleaner.

“It’s about f***ing time,” says Kenny’s brother, who tipped off the police and is eagerly pressing charges. “Kenny is such a degenerate. He drinks like nine 7-11 Big Gulps per day, harasses women on Tinder all night, lives in absolute filth, and then TELLS EVERYONE IT WAS ME! He has been passing this picture I took of him off as ME for years. I’m f***ing tired of it. He needs to pay. Not sure how he can do that, given that he is totally unemployable, but that’s for the courts to figure out.”

Apparently this identity theft (reverse identity theft?) got so bad that an entire day of Honors 2020: Comedy Writing was spent in deep analysis of a picture of Kenny’s degenerate brother. “Fuck that. Notice how he always hides the face in that picture? That’s because it’s him! Look at that belly.

Look at those filthy fingers. He cropped out the Louie costume that he used to be intimate with, in order to throw people off the trail too,” says Kenny’s brother.

Happy Graduation, Kenny!

A letter from Grandma Well, I guess you think you’re pretty smart now, don’tcha? Didn’t want to listen to me and go into a useful career like HVAC repair or pizza delivery. History? Pfft. More like a degree in fake news, I’d say. Probably only learned shit about white men being the devil and other shit like that. Don’t know what this country is coming to. I swear to god if you ever start talking about your pronouns, I’ll kick your f***ing ass. I ain’t too old to beat the shit out of you, no matter how big you think you are. How much history do you even need to know? We lost the war of northern aggression, but we kicked some jap ass to make up for it later. The f***ing end. Anyway, happy graduation. Don’t cash this check yet, though. I’ll tell you when. Love, Meemaw

Two male dolphins got boners while playing with an anaconda.

This is a true story from a real news source. We just thought you should know about it.

Right: photo of Kenny looking for dolphins in Creve Coeur Lake. “I got your anaconda right here,” he lies.

The disputed picture. Is this Kenny or his brother?

Forensic analysis will reveal the truth.

Homeless! St. Louis City evicts Kenny from his riverfront “home” under the I-44 viaduct “God damn, imminent domain is a bitch. Tishaura is going in the SUS Report for sure,” says Kenny.

Accompanied by a bulldozer, St. Louis city workers cleared the belongings of a resident of a small downtown homeless encampment near the viaduct at I-44 and Cole Street on Monday. The site is one of several encampments the city has targeted for clearing. The largest encampment — consisting of around 25 people living in the shadow of the President Casino Laclede’s Landing pavilion near the riverfront — remains open after a last-minute reprieve. Kenny’s home, however, is now gone.

“Aren’t they supposed to at least buy it from me? I mean, this is a prime location. I can see the river! If I were to put it on Zillow, I’d call it ‘beach front’ for sure,” says Kenny. “Also, if you call me ‘homeless,’ I’ll punch you in the face. And don’t you dare say ‘unhoused,’ you PC thug. I am home free. Your labels and laws mean nothing to Special K. Special K being my personal mix of K2 that I sell for $2 per joint to other homeless, uh, I mean, home free people. Want some?”

Which editor is Dan going to miss the most?

Special K, Esquire VS

Definitely me! Don’t you know he’s been silently crying himself to sleep for the past four months since I went to leprechaun land?

Who will be the token blonde woman editor now?

There’s no one to guinea pig for his classes now or send the word cum 47 times over email every day :( Truly a tragedy! Anyways, I’m sure I’ll end up lawyering for him over the whole [REDACTED] incident.

Mya Horny, actual Esquire

Hmm, who will the old drunk white man miss the most? Probably the old drunk white man in training (Cullen doesn’t count since he lives on the steps of Dan’s back porch, haha English major), also known as ME. Except for I am a HISTORY major, so I had to do no work just like English majors, except for I’ll actually use my degree.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I must go take my graduation molly…

Welcome to the Brain Stew Booze Review where we review different alcoholic beverages we drink in the Brain Stew office in the Provincial House basement. Maybe it’s something gimmicky, maybe it’ll be a traditional cocktail recipe. Who the hell knows because we certainly don’t. Also, I’m your host, Kenny. I haven’t seen Cullen in like 5 months for some reason. Hey, Cullen!!!!! Every so often, I yell out, but I don’t think he’s around here. Anyway, tonight we start with a recipe I learned while watching Robert Eggers’ The Lighthouse.

They don’t name the drink in the movie, but you know what my favorite part of that movie was? Yeah, that’s right. Pattinson masturbating while feeling up that mermaid statue. But my second favorite part is when he and Dafoe are about to kiss each other and just start old-timey boxing instead. You know, that boxing style from like the 1910s where they make uppercut motions with their fists while moving their arms in circles.

Meh, look it up. Anyway, in honor of that scene, I’m naming this drink…

The When I Want to Have Sex with Robert Pattinson, I Punch Willem Dafoe in the Face.

Ingredients: gasoline and honey. Or it was probably kerosene, but gasoline is easier to get. Anyway, here it goes…

Cullen’s overall verdict:

Kenny’s overall verdict: Not bad. I mean, better than Budweiser, amirite asl faslkdn;fklajsl;dfa;lsdsmvck;lma;lskdkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

17.5 Hours later…

Uh, what, um, uh, Cullen? Are you there? Robert? Robert!!!!!! Holy shit, what just happened? Jesus fucking Christ am I thirsty. Okay, uh, I think for drink number 2… we’re going to have to try that puddle of rain water in the corner where the basement leaks. I don’t think that has a name either, so, uh, let’s call it…

The I am So Thirsty that I am Drinking a Puddle of Hopefully Rain Water Off the Floor.

Ingredients: well, it’s definitely wet.

Kenny’s overall verdict: Not bad. I mean, better than Budweiser.

Cullen’s overall verdict: So, there you have it folks. 4 out of 5 stars, would recommend. For Brain Stew Booze Reviews, I’m Kenny. Hey, Cullen!!!! Also, is this a podcast or an article? I’m confused suddenly.

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Brain Stew Brain Stew

69

Frontiers In Navel Gazing

Long-form Ramblings about the Nature of Symbolic Language: its Implications for Understanding Ancient Writing and Justifying the use of Dense Language in Academia Dr. V Penberth, PhD

What Even is Words, Anyway?

Alfred C Clarp, famous science friction writer, likened sufficiently advanced technology to magic. I believe the same holds true for language. Rather than view ancient magical texts as nonsense, we should view them as a culture's attempt to record meaningful knowledge. And isn't that basically what academia is?

Okay. I'm gonna try to remember how I got here.

I was thinking about how the act of smoking weed in a group of people is important to smoking, because it imposes a short break between each hit, thus allowing you to better moderate your usage.

The solution to this was to just use a one hitter. Like a real one, not a chillum with a deceptively large bowl, but one of those crappy looking fake cigarettes from the head shop. I guess if you really want to, you can upgrade to the less tacky brushed metal ones.

When you're packing it, try not to over stuff it. The aim is to smoke it all in one hit, so that you have to clear the bowl and re-pack between hits. The goal isn't to reduce your usage (though it likely will), the goal is to recreate the pause between hits that would be present if you were smoking in a 1 1 Src: Have group . been blazing it for over 20

Then, I started wondering about how to describe this phenomenon, and I came to the phrase, "Communal Use of Marijuana is Integral to the Experience". Well that's a mouthful.

But, it was also rather succinct. In nine words, I basically summed up: "Weed is supposed to be smoked in groups, as a general rule. Something about it is actually really important to how smoking makes you feel, and I think it makes it better."

Well how the hell does that work?

Of those nine words, 5 are basically the glue of the sentence: 'use', 'of', 'is', 'to', and 'the'.

And in reality, "use of" and "to the" are basically their own words, they're used together so frequently.

So it's more like 3 words.

That means the other 4 words are doing all of the work: 'Communal', 'Marijuana', 'Integral', 'Experience'.

But, as long as you understand those words pretty well, I can communicate something to you in like 7 words, that would take 27 words if I used simpler, more common words.

years.

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That's like, kind of magical, right?

My brain is making this psychic package into 7 words, and transmitting that to your brain, which then unpacks it for you.

That's really kind of dope, like thanks brains, for just implicitly understanding symbolic language. It seems that it's just how you happen to grow, and it's been really fortunate for us. That was a really cool thing for evolution or whatever to end up creating2.

"Sure okay, but how do I know what those words mean," I'm sure every reader is wondering to themselves, as did I. How does knowing the meaning of a word work? How does our brain build the relationship between a word and other concepts? I have no idea, do you3?

It might seem like I'm getting really off track here, but I don't think I am. One aspect of languages that is relevant to note here is

2

It doesn't actually fit what I'm writing, but the next thing that came to mind was my belief, or perception, that people are generally starting to lean away from more complicated or uncommon words, and are instead leaning into simpler language for discourse. And that's weird to meA. I've just really never been able to understand some people's aversion to learning new words. It makes communicating so, so much more efficient.B A

This also, in my opinion, explains a lot of the difficulty that people have when trying to enage in meaningful conversation between different cultures, education levels, what-have-you†.

But looking at what's happening right now with a very disinterested gaze, I see that this push isn't just towards less complicated language, it's also leaning towards a different set of, like, less common words?

B Like sure, using Big Words is usually considered Liberal Indoctrination.

And if the only places that still use the Big Words that we use, then it kind of is a form of indoctrination. This notion is not something inherently good or bad. There are, of course, some very bad forms of indoctriination: cults, MLMs, certain sports fans. But there are also perfectly harmless ones: Little House on the Prairie fandom; woodworking; ultimate frisbee.

Honestly, I think that academia, in it's ideal image, aims to provide a very wide, vast collection of past knowledge that you can access, and, much more importantly, UNDERSTAND without having to stop and look up every fourth word.

And, obviously, academia is not anything close to perfect. It is just a couple hundred billion of people, all working in their own specialties, without any real grasp of the much, much larger community to which they belong.

Frontiers in Navel Gazing

I know I'm not coming up with this up for the first time, I'm almost certainly ripping off someone who said it better, and I'll try to find a link to it if I can, but: Human Knowledge is like an incredibly wide and long tapestry.

Each strand of the tapistry is total sum of all collected knowledge. It spans wide, including every living human, and also down, stretching downward, back through time ∆ the work of areas thoseof who've come before . †toor different the political spectrum, or

different occupations within the IT,IS,CS fields. ∆

And yes, there are of course plenty of problems with this analogy. This tapestry would be pretty torn and burnt up. Human history is absolutely full of insane atrocities, and I'm tired of having to constantly remind people of this. So like, can we just all start to understand and agree that these things all happened? It'll make writing shit like this a lot easier.

3

I spent some time pondering the magical nature of words. The "power" behind a word comes from the concept that it represents. If I say the word "dog", that may conjour up within your mind some general idea of a dog, or the dog you most recently interacted with.

The point is that I don't have very good control over what your brain makes out of the word "do". But if I say "Beethoven", for some not small percent of you, you probably thought of a Saint Bernard. Those of you who didn't, That's pretty neat, if itanything worked,about dogs, or probably didn't think right? starting trying to remember whether or not C A 5 minute google search yielded very mixed the composer owned anyC. opinions. He owned anywhere from 0 to 5.

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that words with a moderately average usage tend to have more fluid meanings than the most or least commonly used. These words may represent slightly different concepts between people and throughout history. Another way to think about this would be to flip it and say that the words used to represent a certain concept also change between people and If I want to history. write something and share throughout it with the world (like this essay, for instance), I'd like to make sure that it gets interpreted and understood the way I want. Obviously, this is managed through our shared language. And the best way to ensure that it's interpreted as intended is to use as precise of language as reasonably possible, while still maintaining some amount of accessibility. I need to pick good words and put them together in a good way.

And if I do it right, I'm essentially Inceptioning you with my writing.

Dead People are just like Alive People who Already did their Living As previously mentioned, human language and culture is known to change over time. The world in which we live is, in many ways, nothing like the ancient worlds4. But it is important to remember that, as a species, we are essentially identical to those ancient people. For all of our scientific, social, and philosophical 4 achievements, we exist still have Trousers didn’t even until the 6th century BCEC, a full six thousand years after the beginning of recorded history. And t-shirts weren’t invented until 19th century CE. To this day, scientists debate what, if anything, people before 1850 even wore.

Frontiers in Navel Gazing

the same brain as our hunter-gatherer forebearers.

So much of our perception of previous cultures is colored by the beliefs that were held by Europeans in order to justify all of the slavery, genocide5, and generally awful stuff that we did to the rest of the world over the past couple hundred years. If we can shed these beliefs, we might be able to see ancient texts for what they really are: the writings of people trying to make sense of their world.

The ancient Sumerians, who once inhabited the fertile lands near the Tigris and Euphrates rivers, are considered to have been rather practical, logical people. Their understanding of the world was limited only by their technology. Their use of magic divination, such as reading animal entrails, might seem foolish to us, but in their world it was considered to be a fairly useful technique for understanding the will of their gods.

It was not uncommon for them to repeat the ritual multiple times, sometimes changing the wording of their question, in order to make sure that they have an accurate reading.

They might ask, “will my army defeat Ur Mergad’s army”, and then ask “will my army be defeated by Ur Mergad’s army”, and compare the results.

C

Not to be confused with Trousers, the 1920 British silent film, concerning a woman who dressed like a man and fell in love.

5

The Black War; Queensland Aboriginal genocide; California genocide; Selk’nam genocide; Armenian genocide; Assyrian genocide; Romani genocide; Polish genocide; Jewish genocide, to name a few.

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Another interesting way that humans haven’t really changed is in our humor.

Again, we can look to the Sumerians for the oldest known recorded joke.

From 1900 BCE comes this gem: Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap.

It really should come as no surprise that humans have always enjoyed fart jokes. Likewise, it shouldn’t be a controversial opinion that humans have always been fairly rational beings.

Sokath, His Eyes Uncovered One of the biggest difficulties to understanding texts from a now-dead culture (besides collecting sufficient samples of text, deciphering the grammar, and building a dictionary) is our inability to understand the context in which these writings were originally made.

Take, for example, an entry from the Christian Bible, Matthew 16:15-18

18

And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.

The name Peter originates from the Greek name Petros, which itself is a masculine form of the word petra, meaning “rock” or “stone”. Jesus is essentially making a pun on this dude’s name6. He's basically saying, “Wow Simon, I’m gonna call you Peter now, cuz you’re gonna be the rock *wink nudge* of my temple.”

Maybe I did get Off Track There Something something, the goal of academia is ultimately to provide a very high level language to make communication more efficient and effective, because without that, all of the knowledge would be meaningless.

So much about language is contextual, and the writings of another culture can be more difficult to understand because of a lack of context.

15

He saith unto them, But whom say ye that I am?

16

And Simon Peter answered and said, Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God. 17

And Jesus answered and said unto him, Blessed art thou, Simon, son of Jonah: for flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee, but my Father which is in heaven.

6

We don’t know for sure if Jesus had a sense of humor, but I like to imagine that he was a pretty funny, but misunderstood Frontiers in Navel guy.

Gazing

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You replace all the human actors in a movie with muppets, except for one.

What movie do you choose and who stays human?

Eddy Munn-y I’d choose the movie Holes – hey why are you laughing?

What is so funny about me liking Holes? I’d choose Holes, but the only human character would be Stanley, I think it would be a powerful enforcement of the themes of loneliness and isolation brought on by Stanley’s cursed luck as he would physically stand apart from the rest of the world. Also I feel that kid who punches Stanley in his shit would be played by Beaker the Muppet and that image is golden. The thought of Kermit voicing the Warden’s grandfather when he screams, “Well that’s too damn bad!” is also a motivating factor.

Dan Gerth: Rosemary’s Baby, but Rosemary stays human.

Mia Farrow’s performance makes that damn movie. And who wouldn’t want to see a movie about muppet satan knocking up a woman, along with a room full of muppets chanting “Hail Satan!”

The dialogue is just so great, and it would be elevated by delivery via muppets. I can see Gonzo the Great portraying Guy, explaining that he didn’t want to miss “Baby Night.” Pure gold.

Kate Votaw: This may come as a surprise, but I think the Human Centipede would be great for this. I’ve always thought of muppets as terrifying, especially when Mya talks about fucking them. But also like, what are the logistics of muppets shitting? For the human I’d definitely keep Ashley C. Williams as the middle of the centipede, just having her mouth sewn to a muppet while another pair of felt lips are attached to her butt. Then the Swedish chef can be that German doctor guy. Maybe have Beaker replace the guy Japanese guy who was at the front of the centipede so he can still have subtitles. Is it gross? Yes. Horrible? Definitely.

Amusing? You bet your sweet sewn ass it is.

YOUR REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS AND THE SUPREME COURT LEAK: WHAT DO YOU NEED TO KNOW? Take a break from your finals to join Honors College and Gender Studies instructor Kate Weber to learn about Roe v. Wade, abortion rights, and what the leaked majority opinion poised to overturn Roe means to you and your rights. Questions welcome!

Wednesday, May 11th @4PM Provincial House, C209 RSVP Here!

El Mez’on Maddie’s Review on El Mez`on

If you’re a broke-ass college student like me. I suggest that you take your booty down to butt- fucking Missouri where there’s a little restaurant called El Mez`on. You would have to wait on these chairs that were facing the bathrooms or wait outside. I was afraid of freezing my tits off, so I chose the chairs. While I was sitting, I could hear this one lady shitting her brains out that lasted 30 minutes. After she came out of the restroom I asked her what she ordered, so I could order it. I have to lose 5lbs to fit into my dress. Don’t be judging me. Also, I’m lactose-iterate, so I ordered the cheese quesadilla with extra cheese, obviously. Now, for my main course, I ordered the large strawberry margarita. I’m pretty sure that the sugar on the rim of the glass was laced with crystal meth or I'm becoming lightweight. I may or may not have blacked out after chugging down my drink and licking the sides of my glass like a god damn fat kid that I am. I remember the next morning that I took videos and drunk texted my grandma to stop being a cunt and come party with me. In one of the videos, I was trying to twerk on a grandma in the girl’s bathroom. I think that she liked it. She even put a dollar in my bra. The cheese quesadilla was $3.00 and the Margarita was $10.00, so overall with tax and mooning my waiter it was $2.00.

My overall rating is: 4/

Professor Starter Packs

UMSL Shuttle Services As you may know, UMSL provides a shuttle service for students to commute around campus, with stops at the Main Circle, Provincial House, Marillac Hall, University Meadows, Music Building, Fine Arts Building, Mansion Hill Apartments, Mark Twain Building, Arts Administration Building, Recreation and Wellness Center, and Millenium Student Center South Garage. It runs from 7:30am-9:30pm Monday-Thursday and 7:30am-3:30pm on Friday.

The shuttle is perfect if you: ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ●

are a broke bitch who can’t afford driving are a scared bitch who hasn’t learned how to drive yet hate predictability and punctuality always want to be late to class enjoy having to arrive to the stop half an hour earlier than the expected shuttle time to make sure you don’t miss it love standing in the rain and cold for an unknown period of time really want to have a completely chaotic schedule that is subject to change each day would like to use the app that supposedly tracks the shuttle but is somehow never accurate would be happy that when you put a complaint in about how the app is broken entirely and acts as if there is no shuttle coming at all at any time, you get no response and it isn’t fixed for 2+ weeks your favorite feeling is looming anxiety and intense frustration

It’s a good thing that the shuttle service runs so smoothly with no hitches, or else it would feel like students who were enticed with a campus who could meet their transportation needs effectively were scammed. Thank you UMSL for providing your students with such a valuable and reliable service.

One Liners for the Old Timers Is it really theft if you whisper “please & thanks” beforehand?

How to: Train a murder of crows to dramatically swarm on cue You want me to trust you? In those clothes!?

“Look at this beautiful light display!” “See the clock saying it’s 2:00am? And that… is the couch. On fire.”

Make headlines! Get a personal driver! Make over $100,000! Bank robbery.

Snow?? In THIS political climate!?

Cats: for when you want to test Murphy’s Laws.

Why do law schools keep asking for a bar exam but then reject me when I send in my mixed tapes?

Benefits of Having Hearing Aids

Now that you have the information, make your appointment to spend $6,000+ on your semi-more functioning Air Pods.

PSA: If you are experiencing any hearing loss that may be conflicting with your daily life, sucks to suck man.

You're gonna have to sell your rights to life if you can't afford to buy them out of pocket.

Hearing aids are for the deaf and hearing.

Hearing aids can improve many aspects in your life.

Hearing aids also double as Air Pods.

Hearing aids can improve your vision by 69% Hearing aids help light focus onto the correct spot on the retina, which in turn helps clear blurry vision.

With hearing aids, you will have an enhanced sense of touch.

With the ribbed hearing aids, it adds a distinct texture combination designed to increase stimulation for you and your partner

It has been tested by pseudoscience that hearing can improve your sense of smell tremendously.

It is common knowledge that your communication can be improved with hearing aids.

Hearing aids reduce the inflammation within the nasal passageway which in turn brings in easy airflow.

Once you have hearing aids, you'll see all your classmates in their underwear during your pesky presentations.

NASA: Never-Before Seen Space Exploration is a never-ending journey for scientist and humans everywhere.

The Cassini spacecraft mission went from 1997-2017. It gave us a close insight to the mysteries of one of our own neighboring planets, Saturn.

As many people know about Saturn's infamous rings, the photos from Cassini –Huygens have now been fully developed. We now have a good look at Saturn's G-Ring.

Click to add text Click to add text

Choose an Ice Cream Topping: Shards of Glass or a Dozen Whining Babies?

Audri “Vegan” Adams VS Rita Csapo-Sweet Definitely, the babies. The louder their cries, the better.

Also, this is vegan ice cream, right?

Well, even if it isn’t, I’ll make sure my moo-moo friend’s milk doesn’t go to waste!

If I can eat babies, I’m in.

It’s a hard decision. Both sound delicious, but I must choose shards of glass. I would be too annoyed to eat whining babies with my ice cream. It would ruin the pleasure.

Maybe mute babies would be good, but ultimately shards of glass are better. They have this unique metallic, ferrous flavor, to them. It just pairs better with ice cream.

Maddie’s Spongebob reviews Krabby Patty Secret Formula In this episode of spongebob, spongebob finds out what's really in the Krabby patties. Now, I know why spongebob was always so energetic, then he had his low lows. Also, why did Mr. Krabs have so much money in his safe? For this episode, I give it 8 out of 10 Krabby Patties.

Glove Popping SpongeBob made a guest appearance on the show euphoria. When Patrick and spongebob went to glove world, they met up with their old friends Maddie, Rue, and Cassidy. After they popped the glove pills, SpongeBob and Patrick split up from the group and were dripping balls at the bus stop. For this episode, I give it 6 out of 10 Krabby patties. They blurred out all the nude scenes.

Booty Popping Cardi B made a guest star appearance on an episode called booty popping.

Where she taught SpongeBob the magic powers of the booty. She also taught him anything is possible as long as his ass is fat enough. Sponge grew his ass then began to shake it and started flying over the bikini bottom spreading the magical powers of chlamydia. I give this 10 out of 10 Krabby patties, because after watching this episode this was my gateway to stripping.

PIERRE LACLEDE 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALO! Resurrect your very own Pierre Laclede!

Miss the days before good ‘ole STL was full of poor people, non-Catholics, and worst of all, people of color?

Resurrect your very own Pierre Laclede to re-gentrify the entire city. Except for instead of gentrifying, he slaughters all non-Catholics, has sex with all of your wives, and takes all your land in true white man fashion!

Order yours today!

Note: We are in no way responsible for any wife-fucking that happens. Sorry, but she’s for the streets. Also, Pierre Laclede is short so that means you literally have nothing going for you.

YOU’VE BEEN READING BRAIN STEW!!

What is Brain Stew? Brain Stew is a community, a group of people that care very much about uncensored free thought commentary, and creativity, and maybe sometimes news and event listings from PLHCSA. And thus, the publication known as Brain Stew was born! No we’re definitely not a cult I’ll pay you $20 to shut up and/or disappear.

We’ve been publishing for a long ass time (again not because we’re a cult). 1990 something.

We’re the proud 2012 and 2017 Best Sustained Program award holder, given to us by the Office of Student Involvement. We also won Best Cultural Awareness Program in 2018, and program of the year in 2020. We promise we did not bribe anyone with drugs to get these awards. We’ve got awards from the National Collegiate Honors Council in 2017, 2018, and now 2020! We’ve also won awards for our wide variety of toe funguses.

Disclaimer: We issue no content guidelines beyond those of state, local, and federal law. All content is the responsibility of the creator. UMSL, PLHCSA, PLHC, and the Brain Stew Staff are in no way liable for whatever ugly content you goblins create. Just because we’re uncensored doesn’t mean we’re obligated to print everything. However, if you call one of our editors now and donate, they may publish your weird innuendo-filled poetry and include the validation you crave.

HOW CAN I JOIN THE BRAIN STEW CULT? Send in your editorials, articles, poems, stories, reviews, plays, drawings, photography, fart jokes, personal ads, and whatever else you make to brainstew@umsl.edu. But seriously, stop calling us a cult.