Brain Stew 19-20, Issue 2

Issue 2, 2019--20

Do you have a favorite among the Democratic presidential nominee contenders?

Ooh, I really like Joe Biden. I met him in 1988 when he was first running for the Democratic nomination and made a campaign stop in St. Louis. He said I looked tense and gave me a shoulder massage. I told him it wasn’t necessary, but he was too much of a gentleman to stop. I also think he has nice teeth.

--Nancy Gleason

me when the shuttle leaves me at provincial house for the third time in a week

Nah, I don’t pay attention to that crap anymore. I’ve been a democrat, an anarchist, a socialist, a libertarian, and a member of the KISS Army.

They’ve all let me down. (Damn you, Ace Frehley!) If any of these new people promises to end the ban on indoor smoking, let me know and I’ll vote for that one.

--Dan Gerth

What makes you think I vote democrat? I am proud to have been born in Spain during the glorious reign of General Francisco Franco! Medicare-forall? Sure, you got free health care in jail. Free college tuition?

Free trip into the army is more like it. Also, why are we so worried about Iran and North Korea? What candidate is going to stand up to this Catalan declaration of independence bullshit?

--Ed Munn Sanchez

BRAINSTEW

What do you think of the Blues winning the Stanley Cup?

Ed: Why would anyone like hockey when they could love soccer?! During my formative years in Spain, I would play futbol at the Estadio Ramon Sanchez Pizjuan stadium. Now I am in the armpit of America watching the Blues play at Enterprise Center.

Whaa? How did it all go so wrong? I’ll be in my office listening and crying to boleros. And what the hell is the deal with Laura Branigan? Gloria’s association to my new hometown only adds insult to injury. (Behind Ed’s closed-door BS overhears our Dean begging Holly to cancel the day’s student tours.)

Dan: Stanley Cup, huh? Well that explains Blues’ notes everywhere in the 7-Eleven that cashes my paychecks. That cup would hold my wings perfectly while I watch Slapshot. Awesome all the bars had specials because some sportsball game was on TV. Wings are cheaper than therapy! After each summer pig out I finished with LGB donuts and cakes… weird how all the bakeries are celebrating Pride early this year. I never liked that shitty 80’s song.

Nancy: Congratulations St. Louis Blues! Our city and our school are so proud of you! YAY! The best part of the playoffs was getting to run errands during game times - Perry just loved that all the stores were empty!

And the roads too, so empty that we got home early enough to catch the last few minutes of the game. I cover Perry’s eyes during the fisticuffs, so he won’t get scared. Here let me show you some pictures…

What do you think about Illinois legalizing recreational marijuana?

Ed: YES! I’ll just sit back and wait for the philosophy majors to come rolling in! Throw away the thought limiting Xanax, roll up a blunt, and let your mind expand! In Spain cogollo was everywhere and my ancestors were some of the world’s greatest thinkers.

Holly will dispense Honors strength eye-drops from her office. I’ll be buying stock in Frito Lay and Sony.

Holy shit – I’ll be able to retire much sooner than planned!

3 understews in a row?

Dan: YES! Finally, students on weed will appreciate my jokes! Schiessl you’re promoted; you live in Illinois, right? Does anyone know if I can purchase…stuff with MO scratch-offs across the border? With munchies at this rate, I’ll be able to file disability for obesity in no time! Dear Jeebus please let the musical taste of the students grow into anything tolerable.

Does this muumuu go with my smoking jacket? Let it be known: I will destroy any of the hippie students that try to out beard me!

Nancy: YES! UUUmmmm, uhhhh (smiles) – fantastic, giggle, giggle… I just love to see my students in creative moods! But they sure do ramble on and on… (smiles, slowly nods as if in deep thought) Hahaha wait, did you ask me a question?

Ohhh yeah, pot- calms Perry right down, hang on let me have another Illinoisan gummy to help me prepare my answer… you know, sugar really is the true gateway drug. I should call Bob and … zzzz, zzzz, zzzz (Editor note: Nancy fell asleep)

True, true Rally’s.

- Dean Edward Munn Sanchez PhD

*BrainStew does not condone a high fat diet and insists that all Rally’s burgers be brought immediately to Dan’s office.

The New PLHC Mascot

By Mya Horn It has come to my attention that the UMSL Honors college does not have its own mascot. This is completely outrageous. As the smartest students at UMSL, we deserve the representation. No, this isn’t about participation trophies. This is our God given right.

To rectify this injustice, I have decided to propose a mascot and I have the perfect idea.

The New Honors College Mascot will be Tabitha the Roller Blading Nun. She primarily hangs out in the stairwell of the honors college, ringing a bell and loudly announcing everyone’s sins. Do not ask how she knows our sins. Just repent.

Tabitha’s favorite game is having students guess what color her hair is. Unfortunately she dyes her hair frequently and it is covered by her nun habit, so we never know for sure. Students must guess or else Tabitha will loudly accuse them of various sins, like adultery or lying. If a student guesses incorrectly, Tabitha will hit them with a ruler.

Tabitha is kind of like the annoying preacher man who stands in the quad every Tuesday, except that she is legally allowed to touch students.

Pot of Rumors: New Editor Word from Dan’s summer class says that this column is new.

Or are you just new to BrainStew?

Either way gossip will spread through the halls and I’m here to collect them all for a new kind of stew, in my pot of rumors.

The latest whisperings I’ve found from snooping around the advisor’s hallway come straight from the Ass. Dean’s office. I over heard an editor’s meeting for BrainStew and damn you know the gossip is always good there. Besides from Dan’s usual tales of pranking Nancy’s dog Perry, I found that BrainStew is getting a few new upgrades. A new editor is taking over in BrainStew’s little trio. Apparently, the other editor, Nicole, is dropping out of UMSL and Dan was desperate to cover it up and quick. He made each of the remaining editors swear that they would tell everyone that Nicole graduated. That way no one would know that it was he who flunked Nicole by holding her grades until she returned her limited edition BrainStew issues. Just like that, they replaced her with the writer of Freshman Sass

She roller blades through the honors college, passing out flyers for the Newman Center and excommunicating whoever she pleases.

(It is unclear whether or not she is allowed to do this, but we do not ask for fear of angering her.)

Tabitha is allowed to interrupt any class in the honors college to preach the word of the Lord. If she enters a classroom and doesn’t like what the professor is teaching, she will begin to screech like a religious raptor until the professor sits down and allows her to lead the remainder of class.

I believe that the UMSL Honors College will benefit from Tabitha’s presence, as she keeps things both exciting and holy.

and began to make jokes about their summer class and boast about their new office. In an instant, Nicole’s moment of fame in Brainstew was replaced by this newbie who has wrote maybe five articles for this paper. Dan’s reasoning for choosing Monica is yet to be heard, but like all good stories, it will eventually get out and right into my pot of rumors.

Got any tips for the lastest rumor? Or just want to be heard? Send them to my email brainstew@ umsl.edu with the subject “Shush.” Don’t worry my rumors are all anonymous. The juicier the better but remember rumors in this pot all turn to jokes for the humor of this paper.

-Mary Jane

Poetry Corner

Epic Poetry

By Tommy Hoffman Can’t find a way out.

Left, right, left, right, left, right, left, Where am I heading?

EPIC Does a giraffe know that he’s tall?

What does it even know at all?

NICE

Guess I’m a lonely traveler, On a road that is rarely traveled.

DEEP Roses are red, But Shakespeare is dead.

That is a true tragedy.

THOUGHT--PROVOKING Poetry Schmoetry

By Baby Jesus Poetry Schmoetry WTF? Is this Bellerive?

Also, the word NICE only belongs after a 69 joke, Tommy

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Captain America: The Winter Soldier The Avengers Avengers: Endgame Thor: Ragnarok Iron Man Captain Marvel Black Panther Avengers: Infinity War Guardians of the Galaxy Ant-Man Spider-Man: Homecoming

Preachers are saying, “Can I get an Amen?”

While waiters grinding pepper say, “Just say when” Who is really doing God’s work?

BOOM

Marvel Cinematic Universe: Summer Edition

By Jenna Haddock 12.

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Ant-Man and the Wasp Doctor Strange Captain America: Civil War Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Captain America: The First Avenger Thor: The Dark World Iron Man 3 Thor Avengers: Age of Ultron Iron Man 2 The Incredible Hulk (yes this is technically in the MCU)

Squidward Alignment by Lauren Huebner

Are your squids aligned? Do you know what the hell that means? Dan doesn’t, but that’s not saying a lot. He thought that genius society Mensa was MRSA, which is a disease.

He’s kind of stupid.

Probably True Rumors About Honors College Staff As heard by Carter Roustio Kate Votaw murdered a student for telling her psychology is not a science.

Ann Torrusio never graduated from grade school.

Sherry Gerrein sued McDonald’s for giving her soggy fries… and won.

Nancy Gleason is immortal with the help of the sorcerer's stone.

Dan Gerth says BS is uncensored, but this is not the original thing I wrote about him, so he is a lying bastard.

Honors 4900: Writing for Brain Stew:: The True Story!

Did you know that Dan taught a summer class about “comedy” writing (notice the quotation marks, please)? Yeah, neither did we. Or anyone else apparently. There were a whopping two students enrolled in this thing. Apparently a couple people didn’t know that Brain Stew publishes everything and no one needs to pay $350 per credit hour to learn how to submit to brainstew@umsl.edu. Anyway, one of the students is now a BS editor, and she provided us the inside scoop on what took place in this “class.”

Monica Holtmeyer, unable to prove why a rabbi, a priest, and a horse would walk into a bar together.

Jen Richardson will never be allowed to sub for Dan again.

Monica gets it right!

Jen Churchill and Monica, hard at work, cramming for the final exam.

Monica and Jen study the geography of comedy.

Monica and Jen study the theology of comedy.

If we’re finishing better than 3 rd place in the NCHC newsletter contest, Monica must be sacrificed!

Rainbow Baphomet also approves!

Mmm‌ delicious Monica blood. Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom.

Marvel Cinematic Universe: MCE Flashback Jenna Haddock Jenna, what am I going to do?!! I’ve seen Avengers: No worries, Kate! I’ve got your back. During the horrible Endgame, Dark Phoenix, and Spiderman: Far from lay-off in between MCE entries, I am PROUD to bring you Home. A lot. I don’t want to tell you how many times, the best overlooked films of the yesteryear of the MCE. but I might be unemployed this summer. But there’s These films did not receive the critical acclaim that they no new Marvel film until April 2020! And that’s another X-Men. There are NO RELEASE dates available deserve, but much like how The Phantom Menace is now regarded as the finest Star Wars film and Scott Bakula is the for anything in the MCE??? Aack! GOT is over too. greatest captain of the starship Enterprise, I am sure that What can I do? I mean, besides watch Titanic every they will only continue to rise in the esteem of Marvel fans – week. Help me! especially the most knowledgeable fans, like me and Kate.

Love, Kate.

Enjoy!

The Trial of the Love, Jenna Incredible Hulk (1989). Did you know this was the first official MCE entry? It’s true! Hulk teams up with Daredevil!

David Banner’s lawyer is Matt Murdock!!!

Also, I know that most people think Eric Bana is the best of the actors to it’s Lou Ferrigno. If you The Fantastic Four (1994). I portray the don’t like this movie, know that a lot of Marvel fans Daredevil (2003). Speaking of Hulk, but I think you must hate deaf are down on the Fantastic Four, Daredevil, have you seen but that’s because they’ve only Daredevil? It’s really good! I people. seen the remakes from 2005, know it only has a 42% on Rotten Did you 2007, and 2015. They say the Tomatoes, but don’t let the know Lou original is always better than the haters scare you away. Ben Ferrigno remake, and for once I agree Affleck is a MUCH better was deaf? with them. It’s not like Rob Daredevil than a Bat-man. He’s It’s true!

Zombie’s Halloween or Gus Van not as good as he is when he Sant’s Psycho where they had plays that insurance selling duck nowhere to go but up. With my who his family is named after, favorite Four, they struck gold but that’s a really hard part. immediately! And did you know Getting the right emotions across that David Cross and Maria when all you are allowed to do is Bamford were in it? It’s true! say your own last name over and over again is amazing.

Hercules (1983). By far the most controversial Marvel film, I can understand your skepticism. Why did they change his name to Hercules? Why isn’t he green? Well, see, the film was made in Italy by Luigi Cozzi (aka Lewis Coates), and the Italian translation of “Hulk” is “Hercules,” I’m pretty sure. And the Italians are much less racist than Americans, so they didn’t want to put him in “green face,” which is still a rather unpleasant part of the current MCE, if you ask

me. And best of all, Lou Ferrigno gets to play both David Banner AND the Incredible Hulk – I mean Hercules. F*** you, Bill Bixby!

The Hulk should always be played by the same actor who plays David Banner. It wouldn’t be until Edward Norton that they did that again.

Suicide Squad (2016). I don’t understand the hate for this one either. I thought Margot Robbie was the BEST Jean Grey from any X-Men movie I’ve ever seen.

So, there you have it!

Five overlooked gems from the MCE. Let me know after you’ve seen these so that we can discuss the early 90s adaptations of Captain America. And RIP Stan Lee. I forgive you for all that nurse groping you did in the hospital before you died. You are an inspiration to us all.

Fraternity Recruitment Announcement!

Attention students of UMSL! Did you want to join a fraternity and f*** up your opportunity? Maybe you missed recruitment, were rejected, or are just generally too annoying, unbearable, and smelly?

Well it's your lucky day! Fraternity recruitment is not over!

Gamma.Eplison.Eplison.Sigma.Eplison. or Geese, is hosting their own recruitments. Yes, Geese!

They're aggressive, horny, and generally obnoxious-the base criteria for all fraternities!

They also smell awful, so you'll fit right in!

Don't miss your recruitment opportunity! Geese recruitments will be held this Friday, at 8pm, next to the pond outside the student center!

*Bring your own alcohol. They're birds. They can't bring it for you, that's ridiculous!*

Office Hours Announcement

By Andee Rheinecker Our very own Daniel Gerth has turned to Brain Stew to help him make a couple announcements to students currently enrolled in any of his composition, film, or literature classes.

First, Dan would like to tell his students to: “Check your f****ing emails for goodness sake! If you downloaded an email app on your phone, I wouldn’t have to ask Brain Stew to make announcements for me!”

Secondly, Dan would like to announce that his office location will be changing. Dan can still be found during the office hours posted on his syllabi; however, as of today, he will no longer be located in his normal office.

He can now be found showering in the Barnett Memorial Plaza during his office hours. Dan suggests that students planning to stop by his new office place their papers in plastic sheet protectors, and find some way to protect their electronics. He warns that the water from the plaza is bad for them, and continues by proposing that students coat them “in whatever waterproofing stuff they make for your shoes.” Dan also asks that students refrain from any photography or videoing during their time in his new office.

When Brain Stew asked Dan for further comment, he confessed to its editors that his home shower is broken. Dan insists that he must take the proper measures to benefit his personal hygiene; at least until he completes his transformation into UMSL dwelling troll he is bound to become. In fact, the Brain Stew team recently found information suggesting that Dan’s beard length is proportional to the progress of his troll transformation. A full article on these findings will be posted in a future issue of Brain Stew!

Dead tired of waiting for Illinois to open up those weed shops, that is!

What is Nicole Gevers up to? Part 2

Former BS editor, Nicole Gevers graduated in May 2019. While many assumed she was dead, she finally got back in touch with Brain Stew in July in order to send us a map that looks like a penis. For Issue 2, she decided to closely monitor the time and temperature for us. Clearly she is doing very well, and her priorities are correctly aligned with everything she learned as a BS editor from 2016-2019.

And please remember that “Show us your 420 is a real contest! You could win money. Nicole is in the lead right now, as this was the only 420 submission.

THE UMSL GOOSE’S TOP TEN REASONS TO GET RID OF STUDENTS ON CAMPUS I feel I am unjustly hated on campus when in fact I am a lovely, majestic waterfowl. With summer, I can reflect on my mistreatment over the last few years in peace with limited student interaction. During my reflections I realized that while students complain about me, no one has asked for my thoughts on the students. We should immediately eradicate UMSL of these “fowl” (see what I did there….see) beasts.

Here are my indisputable reasons: 1. THE. NEVER. ENDING. COMPLAINING! Wahhhh the UMSL Goose pooped on its sidewalk.

Wahhhh the UMSL Goose hissed at me and I got scared. BOO F*#%ing HOO! 2. Students are sooooo slow. I can chase them down in 10 seconds flat in a headwind. Disgraceful.

The campus also insists on having a goose run each year too. Ironic they are suddenly trying to catch me. They “chicken” out every year (again with the fowl jokes).

3. I like my poop, but facilities at the behest of student complaints insists on cleaning it up. HISS! 4. GET OFF MY SIDEWALK! Students are always walking on my turf. KNOCK IT OFF OR I WILL FLY YOU DOWN!!!

5. Frankly, they smell. Eighteen to twenty-two year olds are not at the peak of their body odor management game. Get it together…just don’t get it together in my ponds.

6. Appalling twitter responses. I had a tweet exchange with Maddie Woodham (who will probably claim defamation of character after this) in which her best response was an eye roll. *EYE ROLL* 7. PHONES! Students never look up from their phones to see that they are walking right next to me. Respect my personal bubble and I will limit my anger.

8. Students never once have shared their food with me. Faculty and staff members have. They never stick around to eat it with me as they run off, but they share it. Students have access to all kinds of food, but won’t share a morsel. You kids are going to hell.

9. RESPECT! The students demanded a recreation center and *boom* a recreation center appears.

There are statues all over campus, yet there is no monument to me. I need love too!

10. The lizard. Students picked Louie as their mascot. LOUIE! I’ll never forgive them for this. He is obnoxious and I’m not sure what he is exactly.

Consider this your notice students.

Goose out. #Hiss Follow me on Twitter! @UMSL_Goose

RUSH SZN BABY It’s that time of the year again. Fall rush

Tips during rush season:

season. When the freshmen girls have no

- Patagonia. Patagonia. Patagonia.

idea just how creepy we are, and they just

- Got a shark tooth necklace? Wear it. Adds

are dying to talk to us. All those stupid

like a 10+ coolness factor.

sorority girls can’t come out to the house

- Get a puppy. I don’t give a flying shit if you

either, which means I get some one on one

don’t like dogs. Chicks love puppies. And

time with bros.

we all know we’re just in this for the chicks.

- Try to get arrested at a party - then you’ll

Girls make everything so complicated. I was

be known as the guy who got arrested at a

talking to Keegan about him and his girl,

party. I don’t think anyone will ever actually

and apparently they lost their snap streak.

remember your name after this.

My bro is pretty upset about it, and how can anyone not be? That’s like a serious commitment.

I think the hardest part about it being rush season is the fact that I have to act so interested in whatever any guy says. Like Chad, I could give less than a f**k (18+ version: fuck) about your summer spent organizing the Catalina Wine Mixer. I get it, your dad’s a lawyer. Me and none of the other guys give a flying shit, we’re just trying to recruit you for the floor hockey team.

gum wrapper: - use this blank piece of paper for your gum, then throw it into office C212

At the Movies with Zach Weber AVENGERS: ENDGAME Avengers Endgame - Look who's back. Did you just think me graduating could keep me away from writing movie reviews. Well you thought wrong. This ol’ bag of dirt is back again for another semester of movie reviews.

You may be thinking “This guy doesn’t even go here!” or if your name is Chad you may be saying “Who do you know here?”. First of all *Spoiler Alerts* are ahead. But honestly if you haven't seen this movie yet you are either one of two things: 1) A caveman or 2) Patrick Star. My point is you are living under a rock. This was honestly an emotional time in my life. This is because another one of my favorite things The Game of Thrones ended a week before I saw Endgame. Which threw me into a spiral of darkness and sadness. *Spoiler Alert for Game of Thrones*. When my favorite character Jon Snow got cast off to the north and BRAN STARK became the king!!! What is that crap. Bran is easily the lamest character in all of Westeros. I would have rather seen Meat Pie sitting on the throne. So first off I went into Endgame already kinda down. But lil ole me just knew there would be a super happy ending to this movie. Then I would go home with butterflies in my stomach feeling super happy.WRONG. OUSTANDINGLY WRONG. Of course they had to knock off Iron Man and essentially Captain America. I was totally crying. Wait I mean I wasn’t crying I’m too kewl to cry.

There was just a bunch of dust in the air that gave the illusion of crying tears. But this movie is easily a must see movie. Make sure you have used the bathroom before you go in because this is an absolute marathon of a movie. If I remember correctly it is just over 3 hours so yeah. Buckle up buckaroo and get ready for the ride. But the end of the movie does get better and kinda makes you feel better. But there are no end scenes so do not stay after and make the workers suffer for 10 minutes.

420/69 tears of joy. Would recommend.

SPIDERMAN: FAR FROM HOME I will admit I am part of #TeamChillOutWithAllTheMoviesMarvelSheesh .

With that being said I religiously go and see all of the movies that they put out. I think this may be a part of my fear of missing out. But whatever. I just think it would kinda be better if they just wait about a year or even like half a year between movies to make people more excited. I was kinda excited for this movie but not as much as I am for a Marvel movie. I think this might have to do with the kinda ridiculous amount of times that I have seen Spiderman in movies in the past few months such as the Avengers, Multiverse, and there is another one I just can’t think of It right now. But this movie was just meh. I enjoyed some parts of it but they were really trying to push the awkward teenage romance thing way too much and it took away from the movie. They should have focused more on the Spiderman story line but I guess they were trying to reach out to the teenage audience. I can see why they would do that but if I were to guess statistically that age group is probably not the largest group of viewers. But what can I say I’m just an old bag of dirt that doesn’t know what's swaggy.

Did I say that right? Anyway, this movie was good enough were I would have not been mad if I paid for it after seeing it.

6.9/10 marvel is only making money and movies because of nostalgia

MEN IN BLACK: INTERNATIONAL First off All I will just straight up admit it I LOVE MEN IN BLACK. These were some of my favorite movies when I was a kid. I was just fascinated by all the types of aliens in the movies and how they made them. Still don’t understand how they make some of the costumes for the older movies. These movies were probably the reason I got into Scifi genre of movies. Now I know what you are going to do is go straight to rotten tomatoes or any other movie rating website and see them absolutely ripping this movie to pieces. I for one will not partake in the ripping of this movie. I will say it wasn’t the best of the MIB movies but I still really enjoyed it. It just really threw me off not having Will Smith in the movie. The movie was very predictable which really took away from the movie but yet again I’m a super fan so I let that one slide where I normally wouldn’t in a movie that I don’t have an extreme basis for. If you like the scifi genre and MIB movies in general I would definitely give this movie a gander.

6.2/10 nostalgias

JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 3 This is by far one of the Greatest action packed series to ever hit the big screen. If you have not seen the first 2 movies in this series then dont even waste your time by watching this movie. It will make absolutely no sense whatsoever so I don't want you to waste your money. But if you have seen the previous two movies and still haven’t seen this movie stop what you are doing right now and go and see this movie. Now you may be thinking he is just playing around about going to go see it immediately. No, I’m not playing. I mean what I say.

This is no joke. Don’t make me come and get you to make you see this movie because I will. Everything about this movie is perfect. The the fight scenes make you sit on the edge of your seat. The story line is more complex than anything that loser Shakespear could write. If you watched John Wick 2 it takes off exactly where that it ended which makes this movie a billion times better. If you are an action movie type of person I 100% recommend this series. You will thank me when you are done watching these movies.

420/10 Good Doggos. Would recommend.

GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS Yet again another movie that pulls at my nostalgia strings. I have been watching Godzilla movies since I was probably 5 years old. Back then they were just the Japensese VHS tapes with english subtitles or if you were lucky someone would have dubbed the english over their voices. Also yes you read that right VHS tapes. Get over it. Anyway I really think studios nowadays have realized that the movies they make don’t have to be original movies anymore but as long as there is some form of nostalgia attached to the movies they will make a pretty good profit off the movie. Regardless if it is actually good or not. With all my extreme basis being brought up this movie was just meh. It was okay at times but nothing happened was really memorable. It kinda disappointed me. They could have done so much more in this movies. I feel that some studios just use certain movies as stepping stones to get to the next one and tie up loose ends. It felt like that for this movie. There were parts that I did really enjoy but overall was not a great movie.

They did set up to make another movie so let's just hope that the next one will be significantly better than this movie.

5.6/10 let downs

SHAFT I had a bunch of free time on a Tuesday so I decided to give this movie a jab. Why did I go on a tuesday you may ask? Well because I save like 7 dollars and I’m all about saving a couple of bucks.

To be honest this movie was pretty funny but not making me laugh out loud. It’s the stereotypical “meh” movie were you watch it and forget that you watched it about a week later. By that I mean that it was 50% good and 50% boring. I would recommend it if you have nothing else to do but if you have to pay more than 5 dollars to watch it you will probably be upset that you spent money on just and slightly above average and very predictable movie. So for this boring movie I decided to do it justice by writing a boring review.

5/10 borings.

WHAT IS BRAIN STEW? Brain Stew’s mission is to provide for the Pierre Laclede Honors College student body a forum for uncensored free thought, commentary, and creativity, as well as news and event listings from PLHCSA and other related campus organizations. We have been publishing for over 25 years and won the Student Life’s award for Best Sustained Program in 2012 and 2017 as well as TWO national titles from the National Collegiate Honors Council in 2017 & 2018.

HOW CAN I CONTRIBUTE TO BRAIN STEW? Send your editorials, articles, poems, stories, reviews, plays, drawings, photography, fart jokes, personal ads, or whatever else you can think of to: Brainstew@umsl.edu

Disclaimer: We issue no content guidelines beyond those of state, local, and federal law. All content is the responsibility of the creator.

UMSL, PLHCSA, PLHC, and the Brain Stew staff are in no way liable for content. But feel free to complain.

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First week of classes: HIGHLIGHTS Reel