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ARE YOU A ROBOT?
Select all of the squares with…
Anything that Ed has forcibly redacted from Brain Stew, prior to today, since he began censoring it.
Gay A picture of Ed where it looks like he is doing the sieg heil
Silhouette of
Audri dressed as a Nazi
Jocelyn Munn
Sanchez
The provost threatened Dan about this one, so we respectfully do not include it, even though he said he’d get fired if we really believed it needed to be here.
An Understew about whether or not the Virgin Mary could even conceivably have consent in a baby mama relationship with God. A joke about being short
Congratulations. You are a human or smart robot. You may proceed to the rest of BS.
Cracker Honky
Rob Wilson
Charlie Kirk
Rob Wilson
Audrey “The GOAT” Adams oh you know I just did what I do every break. I wake up early to go goat yoga, save the animals that are about to be slaughtered, and go above and beyond for the kids even if they are filthy meat munchers.
What did you do over Winter Break?
Step Daddy Sanchez
I had the most amazing time back home. Spent lots of time with friends and family. However, the best part was getting to lay in front of the fireplace and doing all of your mothers. Man, you should have seen the way yo mama was BOUNCING on it crazy style all night long.
Dirty Dan
Well since UMSL was closed I was forced to be homeless once more. I had nothing but the clothes on my back and trash to keep me going. Which works out because I love trash. mmmmmm trash. I love trash. Trashy trash trash All kinds of trash, like those lastminute essays or presentations that we all know you barely skimmed the readings for.
ABOLISH ALL WHITE MEN
... okay maybe not abolish but put them to good use
These are real! Not a joke. We need to make sure that everyone knows when they can drop Dan’s socalled “comedy writing” class at the best times.
On the Critical Importance of Defecating Victoriously
There is no greater necessity than that of Defecating Victoriously. We must be prepared to go beyond the mundane to ensure victorious achievement and sustainable success.
Comrades, the foremost requirement of our future is Victorious Defecation. This is not merely a procedure or state of mind; it is of premier importance to longevity, progress, health, development and sanitation. For us to achieve the full success in Victorious Defecation, all must be committed in their entirety to collective action, dedication and observance of procedure.
How do we Defecate Victoriously?
Great victories are not trivial matters. Extensive preparation is necessary as part of a mental and physical lifestyle that is active, engaged, mindful and focused on victorious action. The dietary contribution to bowel health is key as it is the source of all faecal materials. We must consume sufficient quantities of soluble and insoluble fibre. This ensures faecal binding and cohesion. Beyond creating robust formations, such constructs make feasible punctual and efficient transportation and delivery. To aid in the transportation and delivery of faeces, we must also regularly engage in the vigorous motion and deliberate exercise of our legs and peristaltic muscles. United these practices create a smooth and well-prepared pathway of progress.
When the time comes for Victorious Defecation, we arrive calm, punctual and with full confidence. Our great victory has been ensured by preparation and order, thus we continue adherence to procedure in pursuit of excellence. It is critical that initial action is purposeful and conscious. We make precise, deliberate manoeuvres to take position at the toilet. Using core spatial awareness, we make a smooth, accurate motion to sit upon the upper surface of the toilet. We ensure crucial precision in the change of state such that our aim is directed to the interior of the toilet and no outside. Once these initial manoeuvres are completed, we commence the glorious peristaltic process and resolutely expel our bowels in victory. The physical defecation has now been completed with victory and success, but true victory demands the proper observance of all procedures. We now arise from the surface of the toilet, firmly grasp the toilet paper and wipe until the refreshed paper is clean. Finally, we make deliberate manoeuvres toward the sink and disinfect our hands using soap.
With all procedures completed, we have Defecated Victoriously. However, we remember that this is not merely procedure but rather a victorious facet of existence.
All Hail Piss Baby
Bingo
UMSL Community!
Mark your calendars for one of the most exciting days of the year Bring a Child to Work Day is returning onApril 23, 2026! After the incredible success of past years events, we’re looking forward to making this years' experience even more memorable. It is a wonderful opportunity to welcome the next generation into our workplaces, give them a behind-the-scenes look at what we do, spark curiosity about future careers, and deliver our next installment of “designer” wallets and handbags to Temu They give us more than the state of Missouri!
Why Participate?
Last year's event was a huge hit - full of energy, creativity, and big smiles from both kids and employees. Beyond the fun, it is a meaningful way to:
• Showcase the great work your department does
• Build team spirit
• Inspire young minds and future leaders
• Watch tiny nimble fingers in action
• Make sure that Temu can keep providing us with low low low prices
Call to Action:
We are inviting all departments to make Bring a Child to Work Day 2026 a day to remember! Whether you host a hands-on activity, give a brief demo, or need really small hands to clear out jams in your copy machine, your involvement will make the day engaging, educational, and fun for our young guests.
Let's build on the momentum from last year and show these future UMSL students what our community is all about. More information will be shared soon about how to register your department and plan activities.
For now, please mark the date and start brainstorming ideas with your teams. But please note: our contract with Wayfair has expired, so there will be no free cheese pizza for participating departments. Together, we will make Bring a Child to Work Day 2026 an unforgettable experience for everyone.
For more information, please reach out to Ed Munn Sanchez at munne@umsl.edu.
Pictures of my dog because she’s obviously better than yours (sucker.. oh is this still on?
Turn it off you goo-)
Doyour dog turn into a projectile? No? Thought so.
You can’t wear your dog like a backpack now can you? Exactly. Stay amazed by my dog.
seconds before disaster. Notice the uncertainty in her eyes. The disaster. She saw this coming.
She too loves belly scritches. Not immune to simple doggy pleasures.
Rant,
But What If It Was Shakespeare?
Quaint much i wouldst alloweth gemma knoweth yond the lady is a bacon-fed cunt, and, um, the shoes yond the lady gaveth me w're not something yond i wouldst particularly buyeth f'r myself. Those gents w're fusty, maiden typeth of shoes, and the lady hath said yond those shoes w're meanteth to beest w'rn on a quite quaint mistress. So if 't be true yond is the case, the lady shouldst has't putteth those folk backeth on the rack and shouldst nev'r coequal purchas'd those folk because the lady wast unqualifi'd to owneth those shoes, if 't be true yond's the case. And, um, i bethink yond gemma is a disgrace. The lady's a disgrace to distaff who is't art actually quite quaint and classy, and, um, the lady just doesn't has't the v'rnacular the lady thinkest the lady possesses. Somebody did lie to h'r sev'ral times and toldeth h'r yond the lady wast flyeth, hot, and sexy, and quite quaint, and the lady's nothing liketh yond. The lady's nothing of the s'rt
Some thoughts on the ending of Star Wars’ Andor OR
I binge-watched the show over the break and woke up at 2 am to write a crazed analysis of god-knows-what
Read at your own discretion…spoilers…
I think… no, rather, I believe that in the wake of… well, everything no matter what beliefs, opinions, or actions you hold around politics, social media, news, etc., etc. there is something to be said for the stories, books, and movies we know and love that engage with the politics of war. And yes, I mean that phrase. Politics of war.
Star Wars is many things, but we cannot forget that it centers on a rebellion: a fight to overthrow a greedy, power-hungry, horrific Empire. We have our heroes, the rebels, the allies, the adversaries. And one thing if we can boil it down to just one that Andor shared with us was the darker, twisted, selfish side of the “good” force. This is something that, in the past, stories often portrayed in black-and-white terms. However, over the past decade, mainstream books and movies have started to show the grey—a now-giant, sprawling grey that others once wrote off as a thin line. A distinct separation. The darker, twisted, selfish side. Let’s break that down. We can see it in Luthen Rael's character. But we can also see it in the titular character, Cassian Andor. If you made it to the last episode, you can see it all come to a head in what I found to be a particularly moving scene: Cassian standing in front of the leaders of the still newly forming Rebel Alliance.
He’s there to tell them about the weapon what fans know as the Death Star that the Empire has been hiding behind “energy programs.” Information that Luthen died to share and get off Coruscant, by way of Kleya. What is intriguing about this scene is the way Cassian defends Luthen to the other leaders. Everyone (except Mon Mothma) finds not only the information hard to believe, but the fact that it came from Luthen especially hard to digest. Calling him a “thorn in their side” shows us exactly how they think of him.
And Cassian defends him in a way that, yes, is in character but at the same time, very much not. Cassian and Luthen are set up in the show as opposing forces. They work together for reasons that rarely align, except for the big one: they both know that battles are fought regardless of intent or justification. And that means even when they don’t want to they would rather fight and make losing mean something than give in and die for nothing.
But the things they find “worth it” are very different.
While Cassian understands the giant chessboard Luthen is playing on, he never truly stomachs the costs Luthen is willing to pay to win. As the show continues, Cassian grows to begrudgingly understand those costs—even if he never fully accepts them.
In this scene, during his argument with the council, you can watch as Cassian begins to acknowledge maybe even appreciate Luthen’s final move. The price Luthen was willing to pay personally. That is what convinces Cassian that the intel is legitimate, at least in Luthen’s eyes.
And Cassian has grown to know the man.
He knows that Luthen was prideful and reclusive when it came to information. He does not simply condone or justify Luthen’s actions; after all, he knows how twisted they were. But Cassian is willing to stand his ground and defend the outcome Luthen helped create.
Luthen regardless of the “rightness” of his actions, regardless of the years of moves and bodies left in his wake helped build the Rebel Alliance. He got them on the board. Which was his goal all along.
Throughout the show, we see Luthen weigh options and make impossible decisions in pursuit of the long game one where the Empire’s greatest chance of losing is finally set. He wanted Ghorman in play not because of its direct economic or political value, but because of the fire it would light under those sitting in the wings, too afraid to move against the Empire.
He wanted a bomb to go off.
So that people would move. Did people have to die? Did a genocide have to occur?
According to him, yes. That was the bomb the universe needed to see explode.
Everyone was afraid to move. Many were willing to accept a staggering threshold of pain and injustice under the belief that the Empire would not go further or that what it was doing was, in some way, justified. Luthen wanted to push the Empire to cross an invisible line, one no one had ever voiced, in the hope that it would force people to choose.To stand with the Empire Or against it.
What he wanted was to erase the middle ground to get rid of the space where people could sit back and wait for things to blow over. So think about it.
When do people act? How many times do people wait for something so reprehensible to happen before they finally get up from their chairs and do something?
That was Luthen’s goal. And it worked.
So while those who wanted things to be black and white the majority of the Rebel Alliance’s leadership—struggled with Luthen’s methods, they also needed to recognize that many of them were there because of his underhanded maneuvering.
I would even argue that this scene rivals Mon Mothma’s speech to the Senate, where she calls out Emperor Palpatine for the genocide on Ghorman. That speech was necessary. It was the proverbial nail that had to be driven deeper so people would finally open their eyes to what was right in front of them.
We can debate how effective it truly was. But it was needed even if it was a call to action that gave little distinct direction.
From the beginning, Cassian has no interest in revolution. He is a victim of an Imperial atrocity on Kenari as a child—a so-called “mining accident” that was really just the Empire exhausting a planet for its own gain, with catastrophic consequences.
We follow his story through Ferrix, Aldhani, Ghorman the list goes on. And if you’re still reading, you probably know exactly what I’m talking about. But throughout it all, we watch the people around Cassian come to a realization: Cassian Andor may not believe himself to be a revolutionary, but he acts like one. While his heart may not be in rebellion for ‘rebellion’s sake,’ he is driven to protect the people he cares about. And it just so happens that everyone he cares about is a revolutionary. If we return to that scene with the leaders, we can see him becoming one. You can almost watch the realization dawn on him that maybe just maybe he and Luthen could agree on one thing: there is something he can do for the rebels.
It’s not perfect. It’s not a full transformation. But it’s something. For the first time in a long time, Cassian is willing to take action to help the rebels win, even if he isn’t fully aligned with how they do it. He is willing And we see that willingness carried forward fully realized when we see him again in Rogue One.
-SOME OF THE EDITOR’S FAVORITE GLUP SHITTOS:
تومو ارخ لك
(You
have been reading Brain Stew!)
What the hell did I just read? “Brain Stew's mission is to provide for the Pierre Laclede Honors College student body a forum for uncensorED* free thought, commentary, and creativity, as well as news and event listings from PLHCSA and other related campus organizations,” yak yak yak! We publish A LOT OF THINGS. Like, things that make Ed regret ever taking a job at the Honors College!
We’ve been publishing since 1991 (or 1993). Longer than Dan’s car has been running, somehow. We must be doing a good job though. Despite our best efforts, grown-ups keep giving us awards stuff like Best Sustained Program in 2012 and 2017, and Best Cultural Awareness Program in 2018. Even some shady committee called the “National Collegiate Honors Council” gave us awards in 2017, 2018, and Program of the Year in 2020.
Disclaimer: We issue no content guidelines beyond those of state, local, and federal law. All content is the responsibility of the creator. UMSL, PLHC, PLHCSA, and the Brain Stew staff are in no way obligated to print anything. In short, submit what you want, but we don’t have to print it if you’re being a little monster!
How to submit: Send your stuff to umslbrainstew@umsystem.edu
