Philadelphia City Paper, May 26th, 2011

[ P H I L A D E L P H I A ]

c typaper 30 YEARS OF INDEPENDENT JOURNALISM

May 26 - June 1, 2011 #1356 |

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➤

NEWS | The cash in uncontested races

FOOD | Erawan ups the Thai quotient ✚ MUSIC | Rodney invades France

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INVITE YOU AND A GUEST TO SEE

NEW JERSEY’S NEWEST AND LARGEST GENTLEMEN’S CLUB JERSEY GIRLS IS VERY PROUD TO WELCOME

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CHRISTINA AGUCHI THURSDAY FRIDAY AND SATURDAY JUNE 16th-18th PERFORMING 2 SHOWS NIGHTLY AT 10:00pm and Midnight

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Saturday, June 18 Noon-2am Kick off the summer in style at the Kimmel Centerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s annual Summer Solstice extravaganza! The celebration launches at noon with a giant drum circle, followed by an afternoon of kid-friendly activities, classical, jazz and dance performances. When the sun sets, the party heats up with indie bands, singer-songwriters, club dancing, and even a drag show-an audience favorite every year!

Enter to win tickets at: www.citypaper.net/win NOW ON SALE

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We made this

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Publisher Nancy Stuski Editor in Chief Theresa Everline Senior Editor Patrick Rapa News Editor Isaiah Thompson Associate Editor and Web Editor Drew Lazor Arts & Movies Editor/Copy Chief Carolyn Huckabay Associate Editor Josh Middleton Staff Writer Holly Otterbein Assistant Copy Editor Carolyn Wyman Contributors Sam Adams, A.D. Amorosi, Janet Anderson, Rodney Anonymous, Mary Armstrong, Nancy Armstrong, Julia Askenase, Justin Bauer, Shaun Brady, Peter Burwasser, Anthony Campisi, Mark Cofta, Felicia D’Ambrosio, Jesse Delaney, Adam Erace, M.J. Fine, David Anthony Fox, Cindy Fuchs, K. Ross Hoffman, Deni Kasrel, Gary M. Kramer, Gair Marking, Robert McCormick, Natalie Hope McDonald, Andrew Milner, Michael Pelusi, Nathaniel Popkin, Robin Rice, Yowei Shaw, Lee Stabert, Will Stone, Andrew Thompson, Tom Tomorrow, Char Vandermeer, John Vettese, Bruce Walsh, Julia West Editorial Interns Emily Apisa, Megan Augustin, Bianca Brown, Diana Campeggio, Matt Cantor, Ryan Carey, Peter Chawaga, Erin Finnerty, Kala Jamison, Izzy Johnson, Khoury Johnson, Cassie Owens, Adrian Pelliccia, Laurel Rose Purdy, Eric Schuman, Christopher Seybert, Brian Wilensky, Dylan Williams Webmaster Dafan Zhang Associate Web Editor/Staff Photographer Neal Santos Systems Administrator John Tarng Production Director Michael Polimeno Editorial Art Director Reseca Peskin Senior Editorial Designer Alyssa Grenning Senior Designer Evan M. Lopez Designer Alicia Solsman Contributing Photographers Jessica Kourkounis, Mark Stehle Contributing Illustrators Jonathan Bartlett, Ryan Casey, Don Haring Jr., Thomas Pitilli, Matthew Smith Human Resources Ron Scully (ext. 210) Accounts Receivable Coordinator Tricia Bradley (ext. 232) Circulation Director Mark Burkert (ext. 239) Advertising Director Eileen Pursley (ext. 257) Senior Account Managers Nick Cavanaugh (ext. 260), Kevin Gallagher (ext. 250), Sharon MacWilliams (ext. 262), Stephan Sitzai (ext. 258) Account Managers Sara Carano (ext. 228), Chris Scartelli (ext. 215), Donald Snyder (ext. 213) Business Development Manager Nicholas Forte (ext. 237) Office Coordinator/Adult Advertising Sales Alexis Pierce (ext. 234) Founder & Editor Emeritus Bruce Schimmel

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contents Don’t be a drag, just be a queen

A Million Stories.......................................................................7 Re:View ......................................................................................14 Ultimate Summer Fun ......................................................23 What’s Cooking .....................................................................64

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COVER PHOTOGRAPH BY NEAL SANTOS DESIGN BY RESECA PESKIN

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the thebellcurve CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[ +1 ]

The EPA holds a hearing in Philly, asking the public for advice on laws governing emissions of arsenic, lead, acid gases and other toxins from coal plants. Because if there’s one thing every citizen knows, it’s how to craft effective legislation based on interpreting complex scientific subjects.

[ -2 ]

Chestnut Hill residents express concern over a dialysis center opening up in the neighborhood. Next time, try “artisanal dialysis center and café.”

[ +5 ]

The city’s “video game development scene” holds its first convention. The city’s “video game playing scene” takes no notice.

[ +1 ]

Prosecutors go to court to argue that former state Sen. Vince Fumo’s 55month sentence for fraud charges isn’t tough enough. There they all agree that it isn’t, because we live in a fair world where even criminals like Vince Fumo do the respectable thing and refuse to leave their cells until their debt is repaid, which will likely be never, because they are unfit to walk among the citizens they betrayed.

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[ +2 ]

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[0 ]

The first Cuban dance company to go to America since the embargo was lifted heads to Philly. OK, you guys can perform but you’re not allowed to socialize.

According to rumors, Daily News editor Larry Platt plans to bring more and more Philadelphia magazine writers into the newsroom. As soon as he can assure them they won’t get mugged or AIDS just by journeying into the city.

[0 ]

The state’s public welfare secretary sends out a memo on dress code, which bans flip-flops, halter tops, short skirts and sweats among top aides. “This will make it easier to tell the staffers from the clients.”

[ +1 ]

The Facebook group “If John Street Gets Elected Again, I’m Moving Out of Philadelphia” is born. Now that the Rapture didn’t pan out, we need some new thing that will never fucking happen to be afraid of.

This week’s total: 8 | Last week’s total: 7

EVAN M. LOPEZ

[ buckage ]

MONEY BAGS Running for re-election can be good business.

By Isaiah Thompson or some would-be politicians, launching a campaign for city office can be expensive — sometimes it means digging into the ol’ pocket and straight-up coughing up the dough yourself.

Take, for example, councilperson at-large candidate Sherrie Cohen, who lost in her bid for a place on the November ballot by a slim margin. Cohen donated $30,000 of her own money to that campaign.

Howard Treatman, a candidate for the 8th Council District — and a man of no small means — donated more than $200,000 to his own campaign (he came in fourth of seven).

But for incumbents, running isn’t always about tightening the belt. It’s more like a party. A big fundraising party. For themselves.

City campaign finance regulations already give incumbents a sharp edge by allowing them to raise as much money as they please between elections and save up. Mayor Michael Nutter waltzed into this primary election around a million and a half in contributions.

But many incumbent Council members have raised sizable funds, as well. Four — Darrell Clarke, Bill Green, Brian O’Neill and Marian Tasco — reported having raised more than $100,000 before officially launching their re-election campaigns.

Of course, some of those candidates faced intense competition and therefore presumably needed big moolah to win. But for others, that wasn’t the case — and yet that didn’t stop the gravy from flowing.

F

Councilman Curtis Jones Jr. (4th District), for example, ran totally unopposed, yet managed to persuade supporters to contribute more than $128,000 to his re-election campaign, which also spent $112,142 to, ostensibly, beat no one.

And even those numbers are eclipsed by the fundraising efforts of Councilman Darrell Clarke (5th District) and Councilwoman Marian B. Tasco (9th District), both of whom faced opponents who sure seemed to be — and were proved in the vote tally — largely nominal. Nonetheless, Tasco reported $83,679 in contributions and at least $112,179 in expenditures in her race against outsider opponents Lamont Thomas and Bobby Curry. Clarke, meanwhile, reported $97,800 in contributions this year — including more than $30,000 in 22 contributions in the final two weeks of the primary race — when his victory over little-known opponent Suzanne Carn seemed all but given. The campaign generously spent more than $91,000 on a campaign that barely made the news.

Of course, those last two candidates may be running in another campaign on the side — the race for the presidency of City Council, a powerful and highly political position determined not by the public but by an internal vote within Council. Tasco has announced her intention to run; Clarke has not, but is widely rumored to be considering it — which might explain why such seeming shoo-in candidates have drawn such generous support, and why they’ve been such generous spenders themselves. Some elections are about putting people in office; others are about making friends. (isaiah.thompson@citypaper.net)

It’s like a big party — for themselves.

the naked city

[ a million stories ]

TAKING OWNERSHIP It’s been nearly 10 years since government-transparency crusader Edmund Goppelt announced that his website, hallwatch.org (now defunct), was “being investigated by the Major Crimes Unit of the Philadelphia Police Department.”

“The investigation,” he added at the time, “comes in response to a complaint by the Board of Revision of Taxes (BRT) which alleges the unlicensed use of its real estate and property tax database by Hallwatch.”

Goppelt’s offense? He’d figured out a way to take data from the Board of Revision of Taxes (that would be the bureaucratic nightmare stripped of its assessment powers last year, powers since assumed by the city’s new Office of Property Assessment) and tweak it to make it searchable by property owner — a handy service that the BRT declined (and the OPA still declines) to provide. Prior to being under investigation, Goppelt had informed the BRT of his project, and said he was told not to create such a search function.

Hallwatch went offline in 2009, leaving Philly once again in the data dark — until a few weeks ago, when that Maginot Line of public data was breached again.

The Office of Property Assessment (OPA) Data Liberator, created during the Philly Tech Week “hackathon,” has restored the power to search properties by owner, thanks to programmers Tim Wisniewski, Joanne Cheng, Adam Hintz and others. But despite much talk by city officials about the open, transparent future of information, this data wasn’t actually handed over. Instead, the programmers figured out a way to “scrape” it from OPA’s website.

“The idea was to put this website out there and show the public and the OPA what’s possible,” says Wisniewski. So far,

though, he says he’s “hit a wall” in getting the OPA itself to make the data available. “This is already public data,” he explains. “It’s —Isaiah Thompson just not convenient.”

manoverboard!

By Isaiah Thompson

DIVERSIONS

LET’S TALK ABOUT SEXTS The state House passed a bill this week that would make “sexting” among minors a second-degree misdemeanor — which might sound draconian, if only its current penalty weren’t even harsher.

Currently minors can face felony charges — specifically, child pornography charges — if they send nude photos of themselves to other minors. That means a 16-year-old girl could face a seven-year jail sentence if she gave a topless image of herself to her 16-year-old boyfriend — plus, she might have to register as a sex offender. He could also face child pornography charges.

Under state Rep. Seth Grove’s bill, however, that punishment would be downgraded to a second-degree misdemeanor, and wouldn’t include incarceration — so long as the photos didn’t show “lewd or graphic sexual behavior.” Those would still be subject to child pornography charges.

Is this bill, which is now headed to the state Senate, a step forward? Andy Hoover of the American Civil Liberties Union of Pennsylvania doesn’t think so. “It’s overcriminalizing kids,” he says, pointing out that “victims — victims! — of sexting could be charged.”

In other words, if that hypothetical teenage girl’s boyfriend distributed her nude photos around the school, she’d not only have to deal with that, but also a possible misdemeanor charge.

Grove counters that district attorneys have “full discretion” in whom they prosecute. Plus, he argues, sexting among teens “has to stay illegal. If it isn’t, how do you stop child pornography from being distributed?”

—Holly Otterbein

photostream ➤ submit to photostream@citypaper.net

PAUL GENTILE

your own Man Overboard! has again hoisted anchor, raised high his noisy sails and manned the crow’s nest, only to espy a familiar scene: that of Schools Superintendent Arlene Ackerman surrounded by a throng of supporters.

The setting this time was City Council’s annual hearing on the School District’s budget, which faces a gap of $629 million due in part — but not in total — to massive cuts by Gov. Tom Corbett. The District wants Philadelphia to contribute about $50 million extra to help plug it — no small sum in a city cutting homeless and library services. There to make the case was Ackerman as well as the cheerleaders who have become a staple of her public life.

After criticism over Ackerman’s leadership following attacks on Asian students at South Philadelphia High School, a group known as Parent Power appeared at a School Reform Commission meeting in January with signs reading “Ackerman’s way or no way!” and “We love our superintendent.” In April, Ackerman supporters gathered twice in two days in public rallies to, among other things, protest her enemies — in particular state Rep. Michael McGeehan, who called for Ackerman’s ouster after the size of the budget gap was revealed. Some of her supporters, including state Rep. Jewell Williams, who just won the Democratic primary for sheriff, suggested race was behind criticism of her performance — an idea that indeed seemed to play out in various contests during this primary election.

The narrative, that criticism of her leadership is an attack on Ackerman’s color, or gender, or personality, is one that she herself has embraced and one that, perhaps, plays in her favor: It’s easier to defend her, as a person, than a $629 million budget gap. Which brings us to Tuesday’s meeting.

The school’s budget deficit, whatever its causes, is a massive piece of bad news, yet Ackerman’s staff’s budget presentation was concluded to a thundering applause from the Ackerman-adoring audience. When Councilman Wilson Goode interrupted a District official to say, encouragingly, “The question is: How much do you want?” the crowd went wild. When Councilman Bill Green and Councilwoman Maria Quiñones-Sánchez began to wade into the budgetary weeds of how the District has spent its money, the room went icy cold. The debate seemed, once again, to become about Ackerman herself — and not the $629 million disaster headed our way.

Isaiah Thompson misplaced his throng of supporters.

Write him at isaiah.thompson@citypaper.net.

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“Reluctant participants,” Italian Market festival procession of saints.

➤ WHEW! THE PRIMARY election is over and

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[ has an open, transparent future ]

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artsmusicmoviesmayhem

icepack

By A.D. Amorosi

➤ YOU WOULDN’T NECESSARILY put Gemini

Wolf and whatever moniker Shawn Kilroy is playing under (Hessians, Boyd of London) in the same room. The Wolf is cool, ethereal and a little bit jittery.

Kilroy’s stuff is way buggy and overheated. Yet the two are buddies who like to share stages, and tonight Gemini Wolf and Kilroy’s new Weird Hot ensemble split the bill at Johnny Brenda’s to debut new LPs. Read John Vettese’s interview (just inches to the right) to learn about GW’s new Infinite Sand Dunes.

Kilroy’s seven-piece punk-disco band unleashes its debut effort, Casimir, on Ghost Imprint records.

(That’s the new label he’s starting with Three 4 Tens alum Jamie Mahon.) “I’m really thrilled that Johnny Brenda’s has a state-of-the-art climate control system, because it’s gonna get hot — Weird Hot,” Kilroy exclaims. ➤ Last weekend was a great one if you were looking to hook up jazz and food stuff. The amber, candlelit tone of Walnut Street’s newish restaubar, Farmers’ Cabinet, got a cool dose of the Hot Club of Philadelphia and its live Django Reinhardt-ish flutter. A beautiful friendship and future engagements are imminent.The next day, Farmers’ started its Sunday brunch with doughnuts and Death in the Afternoon absinthe-champagne cocktails. ➤ Then there was Little Bar. I mentioned in Icepack months ago that Fitzwater Street bros Jerry and Michael D’Addesi were turning their Italian restaurant-disco into a jazz spot with a menu.

Guitarist Greg Matthews has handled the booking for the last several weeks. But the joint truly jumped when Philly expatriate Matt Davis brought his big band to the small stage. Look for Little Bar to get bigger, what with gigs like Duane Eubanks on June 11. Hey, isn’t his brother Kevin Eubanks, late of The Tonight Show, in town that weekend for the Thelonious Monk North Philly High session?

How ’bout a duet? ➤ The orange L&I signs are up at Shola Olunloyo’s ex-Speck spot in the Piazza stating that RAW LLC (Tony Rim of Raw Sushi and The Corner in the Gayborhood) are coming in, by June we hear. I stopped at Raw and asked Rim about it; he said that not every T is crossed and I dotted. Yet. Hmm. ➤ So, yeah, The Roots are doing a “pre-Picnic Jam” at The Legendary Dobbs (304 South St.) on June 3, with Dice Raw, Money Making Jam Boys and more. ➤ It’s back-to-back benefit time at Tritone this weekend: May 27’s event is for the Leukemia Lymphoma Society, with the Successful Failures and a Kitten Disaster reunion.

Next on May 28, there’s GoGirlsPhilly’s benefit for the victims of the Southern floods and tornadoes, featuring the Prima Donna sisters Tina and Gina along with feathery-hat-wearing Janet Bressler’s new Infinite Quest ensemble. Pay up. ➤ More Ice? Try citypaper.net/criticalmass. (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

LAST RESORT: Michael McDermott and Megan Cauley of Gemini Wolf drew inspiration for their new album from a North Carolina shore town abandoned for the winter.

[ experimental/electronic ]

THE OUTSIDERS Roxborough rogues Gemini Wolf find cold comfort in deserted beaches and homemade static. By John Vettese n the dead of January, Michael McDermott and Megan Cauley headed toward the ocean in a car filled with gear: a circuit bank Casio, an omnichord, an autoharp, delay pedals, loop stations and a laptop. Their destination was Jockey’s Ridge State Park in North Carolina, a 400-acre expanse of sand dunes on the Outer Banks; their plan was to soak up some inspiration and get started on the next Gemini Wolf album.

“Nobody was there, it was completely desolate,” Cauley recalls.

“We set up our gear in the hotel room, hiked around the sand dunes all day and made music all night.”

Typical of vacation towns in the off-season, the surroundings were placid, but unnerving — the exact vibe they were going for — and the improv sessions that resulted were more fruitful than the Roxborough-based experimental music duo could’ve hoped. Hours of audio were recorded, then harvested and embellished upon once they returned north. This week, Infinite Sand Dunes, their third album, is available in vinyl LP and digital editions.

The record’s glitchy tempos pitter and patter like static on a dead broadcast signal, then give way to thumping war drums. Cauley’s voice phases in and out, as if we stumbled across an announcer on an old transistor radio dial. (Trade secret: That’s actually what we’re

I

hearing, thanks to one of those iPod-car stereo transmitters.) If the music on Infinite Sand Dunes had a counterpart in recent fiction, it would be the bleak, desperate, uprooted landscape of The Road.

“Y’know, the apocalypse is coming,” Cauley laughs over lunch in Rittenhouse Square about a week before the recent failed doomsday. “But in all seriousness, people talk about global warming, say there could be resource wars in the future. But that’s actually happening right now. Eventually, maybe the landscape will totally change. Maybe we will be living in totally different times.”

“We didn’t want to do an environmentally conscious album,” McDermott begins, then pauses.

“Well, it is that. But we didn’t want it to be really obvious or literal.”

You could never accuse Infinite Sand Dunes of being overly topical; the album is cloaked in mystery. Intense, beat-heavy songs fill out its first side, guiding Cauley’s tense, breathy vocal melodies and deadpan, Laurie Anderson-style spoken word.

Whether she’s singing or talking, her lyrics — often written on the spot during recording — are cryptic. “They had semi-automatic machetes/ I just left,” goes one line on the opener, “Thirst.”

Lifting a page from David Bowie’s Low, the second side is instrumental and atmospheric. “That’s one of my favorite albums of all time, so that was a big influence,” acknowledges McDermott. “But I also like the older records where a side is a complete thought. The first song means something and the last song means something. I

“We hiked around the sand dunes all day and made music all night.”

>>> continued on page 15

the naked city | feature

[ way buggy and overheated ] ➤ rock/pop/fest

Remember when making friends was as easy as sitting down for a sticker trade in the cafeteria? Not so easy now that you’re a grownup, is it? Quick EZ Dates, a company that usually does the speeddating thing, is hosting a “Little Black Dress”-themed friend mixer for 25- to 40-year-old ladies tonight at Jolly’s Dueling Piano Bar (May 26, quickezdates.com). “I know how difficult it is to meet new friends, especially when you’re new to a city,” says QEZD managing director Majenda Barr. “[Speed dating] works for so many singles, so why wouldn’t it work for those seeking friendship, too?”

This weekend’s Sundrop Arts and Music Festival (May 27-29, iourecords.

com), centered around No Libs’ The Fire, is a decent snapshot of Philly music 2011.

The night-time indoor gigs are $10 and action-packed: Friday is Hezekiah Jones, Sisters 3, more. Saturday night’s got Toy Soldiers, Busses and Drink Up Buttercup (more on them in Agenda, starting on p. 19), and Sunday night’s closer features Illinois, US Funk Team and Peasant. Saturday afternoon’s outdoor show is free; look for sets by Attia Taylor, The Spinning Leaves and more on —Patrick Rapa stages near The Fire and Trios Trattoria.

Rodney Anonymous vs. the world

—Kala Jamison

➤ print/poetry/hip-hop

D24K brings more heat to its Mighty monthly this time out with a truly iconic NYC DJ/producer — Jellybean Benitez at Silk City on Friday (May 27, silkcityphilly.com). For four decades, he’s produced timeless classics for Madonna, Whitney Houston, Talking Heads and countless others, all while continuing to wow crowds all over the world with his skills on the decks. The house party vibes will be flexing real proper on this night, don’t be left out of a historic event.

Maybe you’re not stoked about spoken word poetry. Perhaps you’ve got a thing against print media. But surely, surely you support programs empowering atrisk young people — you’re not pure, undiluted evil. So consider attending this Saturday’s Rhythmatic Imagery bash for the third issue of Rhyme Street Magazine at Philadelphia’s Magic Gardens (May 28, phillymagicgardens.org), with poetry and hip-hop performed by Mic Stewart, DJ Foxx Boogie and the Philly Youth Poetry Movement, among others.

—Gair “Dev79” Marking

—Holly Otterbein

➤ dj nights

flickpick

[ movie review ]

L’AMOUR FOU

Not much in the way of drama.

➤ WHEN FUTURE MUSICOLOGISTS gather on the sunbaked beaches of Calgary, they will undoubtedly pause during their attempts to attract a mate by pounding their flippers and bellowing from their blowholes to debate whether Yelle’s Safari Disco Club was the culmination of everything that was wrong with early-21st-century club music or the culmination of everything that was wrong with the early 21st century.

Either way, there’s plenty on this CD to be annoyed with: the lazy “just stick anything over a dance beat” songwriting; the rapid abandonment of any original ideas that happen to pop up from time to time before fading back into the thud-thud-thud of the kick drum and leaving the listener to think “Ooh, that’s an interesting motif… Wait. Never mind. It’s gone”; and, most egregiously of all, Julie Budet’s insistence on singing in the twee voice of a little girl.

People, we seriously need to put an end to the trend of women singing in little girl voices, so that one day those musicologists of the future can copulate in peace without having to ponder how and why an entire generation of female vocalists had become infantilized. You’re women, not little girls.

Sing like women, goddamnit!

Listeners with a smattering of French up their oublients might notice that the lyrics are somewhat risqué… and pretty bad. That said, the only French word you really need to know to comprehend this CD is “merde.”

Verdict: Although this can’t be proven easily, it’s probably true that every time someone buys a copy of Safari Disco Club, a blind orphan falls down a flight of stairs. (r_anonymous@citypaper.net)

Yelle

Safari Disco Club (DOWNTOWN)

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WILD STYLE: L’Amour Fou details Yves SaintLaurent’s public excesses without explaining what drove the fashion icon to such behavior.

Sing like women, goddamnit!

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[ B-] BEGINNING WITH Yves Saint-Laurent’s dignified farewell to the fashion industry, Pierre Thoretton’s portrait serves mainly as a fond valedictory: respectful, sometimes beautiful, rarely insightful. More than YSL’s career, the film’s focus is on his 50-year relationship with Pierre Bergé, who for large chunks of L’Amour Fou serves as its protagonist and sole narrator. Framed by Bergé’s preparation for a massive auction of the couple’s copious belongings, the film bids goodbye to its subject piece by piece, but the pieces don’t always fit. The two met as Saint-Laurent was assuming the mantle of the late Christian Dior. The transition ought to play as an epochal passing of the torch, but the film’s rearview-mirror approach doesn’t generate much in the way of drama. Archival footage crammed with famous hangers-on (Mick Jagger, Andy Warhol, Jean Cocteau) brings some sense of those days to life, but watching L’Amour Fou is mainly like listening to someone reminisce about the good old days. It’s intriguing, but you’re forgiven if you’ve got a more pressing engagement. That Bergé and Saint-Laurent maintained an apparently open sexual relationship in midcentury Paris is a heady notion, but the film is oddly circumspect about the particulars. Politics doesn’t enter the picture until Bergé becomes involved with the AIDS-related activism of the 1980s. The missed opportunities are almost too many to mention. L’Amour Fou is a beautiful love story, shot with evident affection for its subjects. But though the film details Saint-Laurent’s public excesses and the strain it placed on his relationship with Bergé, whatever drove him to such behaviors is kept under wraps, as it would be at a tasteful memorial. It’s an honorable choice, but a dull one, leaving the film little to do but stack up vague encomiums about Saint-Laurent’s genius without exploring or explaining it. —Sam Adams

FRANCE!

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➤ friendship

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[ arts & entertainment ]

re:view Robin Rice on visual art

THE LIFE AQUATIC WITH FRANK HYDER FRANK HYDER: CHANGING STATES | Through May 28, free, Projects Gallery, 629 N. Second St., 267-303-9652, projectsgallery.com

ippy,” a large fish of uncertain species constructed of plastic tubing, balefully surveys the sidewalk outside Projects Gallery. His bulging glass eyes store solar energy during the day. After dark, his LED pupils glow red and irises flash blue.

Dippy is one of six commissioned art works that will soon be permanently installed in the East Falls Riverfront Business District as part of what their website calls a “fish-themed eco-art” project.

But for now, he’s suspended above the gallery entrance, a fish out of water heralding further aquatic surprises within.

Sculptor and painter Frank Hyder often works with fish and ocean themes. Vigorous twisting, fishtailing lines suit the subject matter perfectly, but even his more angular work has an edge-oriented intensity.

In this solo show, “Changing States,” Hyder has three types of work. Shield-shaped pieces hang in the front room of the gallery.

Others rest on the floor, propped against the wall. Typically, Hyder has cleverly improvised with materials. Some shield surfaces are translucent muslin; others, paper stretched over a kite-like ribbed

D

“

➤ printmaking Fish Cage, 2011

base, but all are reinforced to be tough and leather-like. They are backlit and collaged with printed black figures from Hyder’s “Monk Series.”

In the middle room, recent easel paintings depict colorful, densely swarming fish. Hyder applied metal leaf onto rippling textures made by his fingers. The whole surface of these paintings is covered with thick glossy resin, underlining the watery illusion.

The darkened back room houses an installation called “The Sea,” which Hyder has shown in slightly different forms at other locations. Floor and walls are covered with monochrome, embossed 4by-8-foot paper panels suggesting a roiling surface. Fish-patterned, backlit shield forms shine from the depths. (r_rice@citypaper.net)

USA LA MELAZA 2 In Spanish it’s “molasses,” but if you’re in Puerto Rico and you say, “Es la melaza,” it means something’s pretty sweet. James Oliver Gallery’s new collaborative exhibit showcases prints from Grimaldi Baez and Omar Velazquez, both with roots in Puerto Rico; and Patrick Casey, Eli Epstein and Kyle Nilan, from the Boston area. This alliance, says Oliver, comprises the “cutting edge of printmakers.”

Sounds sweet to us.

—Brian Wilensky

Opening reception Fri., May 27, 6-10 p.m., free, through June 5, James Oliver Gallery, 723 Chestnut St., 267-918-7432, jamesolivergallery.com..

The Outsiders <<< continued from page 12

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Gemini Wolf play Thu., May 26, 9 p.m., $10, with Shawn Kilroy and Warm Ghost, Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 877-435-9849, johnnybrendas.com.

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know The Beatles were really into that, too, really specific about what song closes side A and what song starts side B. It’s like two different chapters.”

The barren, icy vocal piece “The Hum” echoes the mewling, meditative atmosphere of closing number “War of Fog” in its Autechre-esque hums and drones; the latter’s title bounces back to “Doppelganger Walk,” where Cauley raps, “It’s foggy in the morning/ and clear at night.” Everything is densely intertwined in some future where nature has fallen to the toll of mankind.

Aesthetically, Gemini Wolf has a longstanding predisposition with the outdoors.

For its last release, Synchronized Eyes, Cauley and McDermott were photographed in formal clothes, waist deep in the Wissahickon Creek. Environmental field recordings often provide the sonic beds for their songs. Last year, Cauley DJ’d in Rittenhouse Square, backing up vocalist Attia Taylor and composer Joe Hallman; our interview takes place just down the path from where that happened, interrupted by chirping birds and blaring car horns.

That juxtaposition is apt for the band’s fusion of the synthetic with the natural. It’s not as unusual a pairing as one might think (just ask Brian Eno). Cauley points out that most of their electronic musician friends love the outdoors, while McDermott sees electronic music as the new folk. “It’s become really personal, something that’s just you, by yourself.”

McDermott discusses tribal beats a lot — in reference to this album, to past work, to an opera called Pangaea he and Cauley are working on. I ask what his fascination is. “I like the looseness of it,” he responds.

“A lot of times, tribal beats have this jerky, organic flow to them, whereas a lot of electronic beats are very mechanical. I think it’s a nice contrast.”

In other words, switch on and let the rhythm guide you, but wrest control and see where you can guide the rhythm.

“Even when he’s playing keyboard, Mike is like that,” Cauley laughs. “He plays them like a drum.” (john.vettese@citypaper.net)

[ BRAND SPANKIN’ NEW ]

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Gemini Wolf fuses the synthetic with the natural.

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FILMS ARE GRADED BY CITY PAPER CRITICS A-F.

Kung Fu Panda 2

NEW L’AMOUR FOU|BRead Sam Adams’ review on p. 13. (Ritz Five)

THE HANGOVER PART II

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Read Drew Lazor’s review at citypaper.net/movies. (Roxy, UA 69th St., UA Grant, UA Riverview)

KUNG FU PANDA 2|B

SCREEN GEMS PRESENTS A MICHAEL DE LUCA PRODUCTIONS/STARS ROAD ENTERTAINMENT PRODUCTION IN ASSOCIATION WITH TOKYOPOP “PRIEST” PAUL BETTANY KARL URBAN CAM GIGANDET MAGGIEEXECUTIVE Q LILY COLLINS WITH STEPHEN MOYER AND CHRISTOPHER PLUMMER MUSIC

BY CHRISTOPHER YOUNG PRODUCERS GLENN S. GAINOR STEVEN H. GALLOWAY STU LEVY JOSH BRATMAN PRODUCED BASED ON THE GRAPHIC NOVEL

BY MICHAEL DE LUCA JOSHUA DONEN MITCHELL PECK SERIES “PRIEST” BY MIN-WOO HYUNG WRITTEN DIRECTED

BY CORY GOODMAN

BY SCOTT STEWART CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS FOR THEATERS AND SHOWTIMES

IN THEATERS IN

AND

The return of Po (Jack Black) and crew is more of the same: Again, he’s distracted by dumplings and cakes, and again he frustrates Master Sifu (Dustin Hoffman), who seeks Yoda-like respite in a cave with a lake. Tasked with saving kung fu itself, Po and the Furious Five must confront the peacock Lord Shen (Gary Oldman). With a dark factory full of workers smelting metal, he’s setting up to take over China. Specifically, he’s making guns, “unstoppable” weapons. (This bodes ill for other forms of fighting — say, kung fu.) At the same time, Po’s embarked on his own internal journey, haunted by childhood memories and suddenly aware that his dad, the goose Mr. Ping (James Hong), may not be his real father. This pursuit parallels that of Lord Shen, who’s dealing with his own childhood trauma, though the panda and the peacock take different routes to “self-actualization.” An opening flashback sequence — animation designed to look like paper — is charming, making clear that the film’s 3D elements are not only unnecessary, but also dark and tedious. Like the first film, the sequel features serial fight scenes, variously loud and rambunctious.

The final showdown — with giant, ship-mounted weapons blazing — wreaks the expected destruction and, oh yes, helps Po find his “inner peace.” —Cindy Fuchs (UA 69th St., UA Grant, UA Riverview)

THE ROBBER|ABased on the real-life exploits of notorious Austrian criminal Johann Kastenberger, Benjamin Heisenberg’s movie keeps a precise distance from its subject. It begins as Hans (Andreas Lust) is released from prison, supported by an earnest probation officer (Markus Schleinzer) who seems too convinced of his own ability to turn his charge’s attitude around. As it turns out, Hans, a professional marathon runner, is not even close to being rehabilitated: As soon as he’s out, he’s stealing a car and donning a mask, then charging into a bank, gun in hand. Adapted from Martin Prinz’s 2005 book, The Robber suggests that Hans is addicted to the oddly interconnected pleasures of running and robbing, though whether he feels soothed or thrilled (or both alternately), or even self-aware, remains tantalizingly unclear. While he finds brief solace in the arms of Erika (Franziska Weisz), a clerk at an employment agency, Hans is perpetually, alarmingly driven. The film suggests Hans’ internal life only in frequent long shots (amid crowds of other runners) as well as closer frames, his jaw set or his creepy mask on. Perhaps most unusually, as she tries to fathom her lover’s distance, Erika is less an audience surrogate than another blank to fill in. —C.F. (Ritz at the Bourse)

CONTINUING 13 ASSASSINS|B A remake of a 1963 film of the same name, 13 Assassins is a straightforward actioner, with Takashi Miike holding his penchant for startling excess in check. Shinzaemon (Kôji Yakusho) is given the task of assassinating the Shogun’s illegitimate brother, a sociopath more interested in torture than diplomacy, assembling the titular baker’s dozen to carry out his plot. The final 45 minutes are nonstop action, as the assassins trap their prey in a booby-trapped village. “Soon this

CAVE OF FORGOTTEN DREAMS | C+ Ritz East

JANE EYRE | B Ritz Five PRIEST | C+ UA Riverview SOMETHING BORROWED | D Roxy, UA Riverview For full movie reviews and showtimes, go to citypaper.net/movies

quiet town will become a bloodbath,” utters one of the characters, and it’s actually something of an understatement.

—Shaun Brady (Ritz at the Bourse)

BRIDESMAIDS|ASNL prime number Kristen Wiig steps out of her Target smock and into the spotlight as Annie, a failed bakery owner/perma-singleton whose best friend gets engaged and quickly falls into a plan-pamper-party vortex. Only Annie, self-dubbed “maid of dishonor,” isn’t up to the task of dotting all of her friend’s I’s. Along the way are moments both unnecessary and completely insane, and Wiig occasionally veers into Gilly territory. But no matter — the sentiment behind all the silliness is spot-on.

—Carolyn Huckabay (UA Riverview)

THE FIRST GRADER|C Maruge (Oliver Litondo) is an 84-yearold man who wants to learn to read.

Now that Kenya is offering free education for all, he plans to take advantage of this opportunity. But bureaucracy insists that Maruge is too old to learn.

The film rightly insists that education is a path to personal freedom, and governments need to be responsible to their

FORKS OVER KNIVES|B+ Lee Fulkerson’s new documentary explores the power of the “whole foods plant-based diet,” positing that America’s poor-health epidemic can be remedied by permanently avoiding all animal protein, dairy and processed foods. Its primary subjects, Drs. T. Colin Campbell and Caldwell Esselstyn Jr., refute entrenched American dietary beliefs, supporting their arguments with multiple modes of research and bringing multiple success stories to the fore. It’s an imperfect documentary, but the big message sprouts untarnished — they might not persuade you to drop meat and dairy altogether, but they’ll plant a seed. —Drew Lazor (Ritz at the Bourse)

Jason Eisener’s Hobo with a Shotgun began as a faux trailer attached to Canadian prints of Grindhouse; at feature length, it’s got just enough ideas for a three-minute short. The combination of its pungent (and admittedly irresistible) title and the casting of Rutger Hauer as the titular gun-toting vagrant should have been a home run, but the movie’s copy of a copy is faded and blurred, like an illicit childhood talisman left under the mattress too long. —S.A. (Ritz at the Bourse)

INCENDIES|AArab-born Montréal twins Jeanne (Mélissa Désormeaux-Poulin) and

[ movie shorts ]

Simon (Maxim Gaudette) are enlightened and burdened by the reading of their mother’s will, tasked with delivering letters to their unknown father and unsuspected sibling. Both roads lead to an unidentified Middle Eastern country where their mother’s life comes flooding back in flashback form. The film pushes easy lessons in human equivalence — responsible, no doubt, for its Oscar nomination — but much tougher ones about the killing residue of history, as well. —S.A. (Ritz East)

HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN|C A fairly joyless exercise in fanboy wank,

1 MOVIE IN THE WORLD!

#

“The Perfect Summer Movie!”

Pete Hammond, BOXOFFICE MAGAZINE

“Fresh And Exhilarating.”

Ann Hornaday, THE WASHINGTON POST

“An Epic Adventure.”

Matt Sullivan, IN TOUCH WEEKLY

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“ fffff ‘ ’ WOW, WOW, WOW. ALSO, ‘ WOw.’

IT WILL FLOOR CONNOISSEURS OF ACTION.” — JOSHUA ROTHKOPF, TIME OUT NEW YORK

“A CLASSIC

SAMURAI film, RIGHT UP THERE AMONG THE FINEST IN THE GENRE.” — KEVIN THOMAS, LOS ANGELES TIMES

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citizens, but the movie’s clunky politics and black-and-white characters never engage viewers emotionally. You’ll only be moved if you’re the kind of person whose heart melts upon seeing an old man smile while writing lowercase A’s.

—Gary M. Kramer (Ritz Five)

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THE CONSPIRATOR | CRitz at the Bourse

THE DOUBLE HOUR|B Giuseppe Capotandi’s sumptuous, sexy thriller twists itself in knots trying to wrong-foot its audience — and succeeds, at least for a time. Italo-Slovenian chambermaid Sonia (Kseniya Rappoport) meets widowed ex-cop Guido (Filippo Timi) at a speed-dating session and it’s love, or something, at first sight. But after the art-stuffed mansion he guards is ransacked by a group of well-informed thieves, it becomes clear their relationship isn’t as it seems. Indeed, almost nothing is.

Capotandi and his three screenwriters stuff the film back-to-front with recurring lines and shots, creating an eerie sense of déjà vu and a feeling of looming expectation they never quite pay off. —Sam Adams (Ritz Five)

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PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES|CThe fourth installment in the PotC franchise is essentially a reboot of the squeaky-clean Disney trilogy built (shakily) around the contributions of the departed Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley. But new-to-Pirates director Rob Marshall somehow manages to play it safe and overcomplicate matters at the same time, relying so heavily on the safe charms of Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) that the rest of the 3-D production comes off as a disjointed rattling-off of â&#x20AC;&#x153;maybe we could do this?â&#x20AC;? ideas. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;D.L. (UA 69th St., UA Riverview)

KEVIN THOMAS, LOS ANGELES TIMES

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DAVID LEWIS, SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE

â&#x20AC;&#x153;A FILM THAT CAN SAVE YOUR LIFE.â&#x20AC;?

ROGER EBERT, CHICAGO SUN-TIMES

POM WONDERFUL PRESENTS: THE GREATEST MOVIE EVER SOLD|C+ With his documentary on the prevalence of product placement, Morgan Spurlock attempts not only to have his cake and eat it, but to get someone else to pick up the check. ThÂşe Greatest Movie Ever Sold was purportedly ďŹ nanced entirely through brand integration; the process of nailing down who pays to have what shown and how is not only the movieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hook but its substance. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;S.A. (Ritz Five)

shiny Asgard by his father, lands on Earth and into the lap of fond-of-ďŹ&#x201A;annel astrophysicist Jane Foster (Natalie Portman). Stripped of his powers and forced to coerce with humanity due to his hothead streak, he doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t â&#x20AC;&#x153;getâ&#x20AC;? the customs of puny humans right away. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d think Thorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s one area of immutable appeal â&#x20AC;&#x201D; ďŹ&#x201A;attening people and objects with his hammer while yelling â&#x20AC;&#x153;Ha-HA!â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D; would be the primary focus here, but heavy action is outweighed by boring politricks, thickheaded faith-vs.-science debates and a bunch of administrative nonsense about a rainbow bridge operated by Idris Elba. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;D.L. (UA 69th St., UA Riverview)

REPERTORY FILM COLONIAL THEATRE 227 Bridge St., Phoenixville, 610-9171228, thecolonialtheatre.com. Cheaper by the Dozen (1950, U.S., 86 min.): A based-on-fact account about the hilarious everyday goings-on in the home of the 14-member Gilbreth family. Sun., May 29, 2 p.m., $8.

FIRE MUSEUM & SPACE 2033 THOR|D Thor (Chris Hemsworth), booted from

Highwire Gallery, 2040 Frankford Ave., 215-426-2685, museumďŹ re.

[ movie shorts ]

com. City of Photos (2005, U.S., 59 min.): Nishtha Jainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s study of secret photography studios in India and the energizing â&#x20AC;&#x153;imaginary worldsâ&#x20AC;? she ďŹ nds within. Wed., June 1, 2 p.m., free.

FRIENDS OF THE PHILADELPHIA CITY INSTITUTE LIBRARY Free Library, 1905 Locust St., 215-6856621, freelibrary.org. Private Life of Henry VIII (1933, U.K., 97 min.): A humorous telling of King Henry VIII and the six women who said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;If you like it, then you better put a crown on it.â&#x20AC;? Wed., June 1, 2 p.m., free.

MUGSHOTS COFFEEHOUSE AND CAFE 2100 Fairmount Ave., 267-514-7145, mugshotscoffeehouse.com. A League of Their Own (1992, U.S., 128 min.): â&#x20AC;&#x153;Boy, did she smack that one on the kisser. No wonder they call her â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;All the Wayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Mae.â&#x20AC;? Fri., May 27, 7 p.m., free.

WOODEN SHOE 704 South St., 215-413-0999, woodenshoebooks.com. Bicycle Thieves (1948, U.S., 93 min.): While desperately searching for his stolen bike, a man and his son learn a lesson about the meaning of life. Sun., May 29, 7 p.m., free.

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INVITE YOU TO AN ADVANCE SCREENING ON THURSDAY, JUNE 2ND AT THE FRANKLIN INSTITUTE SCIENCE MUSEUM FRANKLIN THEATER SPECIAL SCHEDULED APPEARANCE BY CAST MEMBER:

NOAH WYLE To be eligible to win an invitation for two, correctly answer the following question: IN WHICH POPULAR MEDICAL SHOW DID NOAH WYLE STAR? Email your name, daytime phone number & question answer to: FALLINGSKIESPHILLY@GMAIL.COM NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. ENTRIES MUST BE RECEIVED NO LATER THAN 5/31/11. WINNERS WILL BE CHOSEN AT RANDOM FROM ALL ELIGIBLE ENTRIES BY 6/1/11. WINNING DOES NOT GUARANTEE ADMISSION. EMPLOYEES OF ALL SPONSORS NOT ELIGIBLE. MUST BE 21 TO ENTER TO WIN.

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[ brisk bobby-soxer beach-party fodder ]

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LISTINGS@CITYPAPER.NET | MAY 26 - JUNE 1

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RING OF FIRE: Tristin Lowe’s wonderobsessed “Voyeur,” featuring multimedia works like Comet: God Particle (pictured), runs through June 4 at Fleisher/Ollman Gallery.

The Agenda is our selective guide to what’s going on in the city this week. For comprehensive event listings, visit citypaper.net/listings.

IF YOU WANT TO BE LISTED:

THURSDAY

5.26

—Mark Cofta Through July 17, $10-$95, Walnut Street Theatre, 825 Walnut St., 215574-3550, walnutstreettheatre.org.

—K. Ross Hoffman

[ soul ] [ theater ]

MISS SAIGON

RAPHAEL SAADIQ Raphael Saadiq’s been working the old-school soul revivalist angle since his days with Tony!

Toni! Toné! two decades back, and while his third solo album, 2008’s The Way I See It, hit right on time to crest with the Daptone-era retro-soul resur-

Thu., May 26, 8:30 p.m., $25-$32.95, with Quadron and Yuna, Electric Factory, 421 N. Seventh St., 610-7845400, electricfactory.info.

it’s hard to say goodbye to that bottle — it’s just so damn pretty. Art in the Age — purveyors of the aforementioned bespoke liqueur and its gingerbready sister, SNAP — has concocted a clever means to keep those ROOT remnants around without turning your living room into a bottle-lined frat house. Dave Seator and Louis Cook encourage Earth-friendly artistry with their Sustainable Terrariums workshop, in which they’ll teach reduce/reuse/recyclers how to make tiny ecosystems inside those aesthetically pleasing empties.

—Carolyn Huckabay Thu., May 26, 6 p.m., free (RSVP to daniel@artintheage.com), Art in the Age, 116 N. Third St., 215-922-2600, artintheage.com, daveseator.com.

[ visual art ]

[ workshop ]

VOYEUR

SUSTAINABLE TERRARIUMS

Tristin Lowe’s work at Fleisher/Ollman Gallery is, somehow, simultaneously innocent and lewd. The space is primarily filled with a series of red-tinted

Once you’ve polished off the last delicious drop of ROOT,

skin images that immediately read pornographic. In the center, a neon light comet electrifies the room. Looking at the whole space, you might immediately think “Red Light District.” But even with names like Fuckurs (from the Handjob series), it becomes obvious that Lowe isn’t sex-obsessed; he’s wonder-obsessed. A pair of felt binoculars, sitting between two skin pieces, were inspired by ones given to Lowe by his grandfather, through which he once stared at starry skies as a child. Even the red-tinted Fuckurs, suggestive of so much skin, becomes a child’s enchantment, its crevices and red glow enhanced by illumination from a flashlight. Lowe’s “voyeur,” then, is both purveyor of hopeful cosmos and jaded grownup wrapped up in lust. Even as adults, Lowe’s work teaches us, our inner and outer space is awe-inspiring.

—Meg Augustin Through June 4, free, Fleisher/Ollman Gallery, 1616 Walnut St., Suite 100, 215545-7562, fleisher-ollmangallery.com.

[ books ]

LITERARY DEATH MATCH Literary types are too often depicted as bookish softies whose closest brushes with conflict are limited to the pages of their beloved tomes. Look behind those horn-rimmed glasses and cardigans and you’ll find an almost universal desire to dominate. That’s how events with names like Literary Death Match come along. This joust of intellect will pit four writers in a match of wits, rhythmic meter and pathos. Each of the participants (poet Leonard Gontarek, writer Sarah Rose Etter, journalist Steve Volk and raconteur Angel Hogan) is versed in poetry, prose, nonfiction and storytelling, which could make it tough to determine a victor.

Luckily for the spectators, a panel of equally accomplished judges will be dishing out the accolades. And unlike the gladiatorial battles of old, no lions will be used to dispatch with the

19

Feed your hunger for Broadway bombast with Walnut Street Theatre’s production of Miss Saigon, the 1989 tragedy from Les Miserables creators ClaudeMichel Schonberg and Alain Boublil, and lyricist Richard

gence, eventual follow-up Stone Rollin’ (Columbia) goes it one better for both craftsmanship and classicism, surveying an impressively broad swath from shuffling ’50s rock, hard-driving electric blues, brisk bobbysoxer beach-party fodder, mint Motown gold, lushly cinematic ’70s soul and the fiercest, baldest Sly Stone pastiche since Lenny Kravitz’s “Live” in 1998 (that oughtta happen more often). Somehow, miraculously, none of it ever comes off as a gimmick, nor does it remotely feel like a stretch — confirmation, if any were needed, that Raph is one talented cat.

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Submit information by mail (City Paper Listings, 123 Chestnut St., Third Floor, Philadelphia, PA 19106) or e-mail (listings@ citypaper.net) to Josh Middleton.

Details of the event — date, time, address of venue, telephone number and admission price — should be included. Incomplete submissions will not be considered, and listings information will not be accepted over the phone.

Maltby Jr. Their long-running hit — yes, soon to be a Hollywood movie! — sets the story of Puccini’s opera Madame Butterfly at the Vietnam War’s end.

Though foremost a love story about Vietnamese girl Kim (Melinda Chua) and American G.I. Chris (Eric Kunze), Miss Saigon is spiced with bitter commentary about the American Dream and our so-far longest war’s harsh realities. Don’t wait for the film; experience its undeniable powers live, in the theater.

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—Eric Schuman

citypaper.net

Thu., May 26, 8:15 p.m., $10-$15, Ladder 15, 1528 Sansom St., 215-9649755, literarydeathmatch.com.

FRIDAY

5.27 [ dance/books ]

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M A Y 2 6 - J U N E 1 , 2 0 1 1 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

impressions of the color blue will be reinterpreted with further associations by Movement Brigade. Here[begin] Dance’s Zornitsa Stoyanova offers a trio performance inspired by Ananda Connolly’s Collateral Bee Box, drawing upon the complex movement patterns of bees. And Eleanor GoudieAverill of Stone Depot Dance

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BLOOD FEATHERS SWIVEL CHAIRS, ROBAI DOWNSTAIRS: BRUNCH WITH DJ K.L. DIABLO FROM 11A-3P MON 5/23

ANNA CALVI SHE KEEPS BEES SUN 5/29 R5 PRESENTS:

TIMES NEW VIKING THE BABIES, FAR-OUT FANGTOOTH MON 5/30 DOWNSTAIRS: LAST MONDAY MACKIN’ WITH DJ KYLE ANDREWS FROM 8P-MIDNIGHT

CORNER OF FRANKFORD & GIRARD. FISHTOWN. WWW.JOHNNYBRENDAS.COM

[ the agenda ]

queerbait Josh Middleton on the LGBTQ scene

➤ GENDER REEL “COME OUT” PARTY

Nobody ever skips reading a book by insisting, “I’ll wait until the dance comes out.” Their shared narrative inclinations means books get turned into movies, period. But if you see a book as a physical object rather than a container for a story, interesting possibilities arise.

The Philadelphia Center for

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the Book has concocted three pairings of local artists with choreographers to create dance interpretations of hand-crafted books. Rebecca Kelly’s The Blue Book is a collection of stories collected in the wake of 9/11; its

[ NEW AND IMPROVED ]

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competitors. At least, none that we’re aware of.

HAPPY HOUR 5-7 Seven Days a Week. ½ OFF ALL DRAFTS! Kitchen open till 1am every night.

Open 5pm-2am 7days a week.

Corner of 10th and Watkins . 1712 South 10th 215-339-0175 . Facebook.com/watkinsdrinkery

Lights: With queerness becoming a hot-topic theme in the horde of film festivals hosted throughout the year in Philly, you’d think that every LGBTQer would be sufficiently represented. But if you ask local trans clinical psychologist Joe Ippolito, that’s just not the case. “We weren’t seeing the images we wanted to see about gender nonconforming and transgender people,” he says. The proverbial lightbulb dinged on for him when he took his concerns to the organizers of the gay-centric QFest, only to receive a discouraging retort. “Their thinking is old-school,” he says. “The films being shown there are [mostly] about the gay male experience.” That’s why, with the help of his partner Carline Blackman, the Gender Reel Fest was born.

Camera: The two-day festival, which has its second showing in September, is a multimedia hoorah featuring movies, photography and visual-art exhibitions that highlight an array of trans experiences and identities. “We hope to have something for people of all different parts of our community — from trans youth to people of color — to come and see a piece of art that’s reflective of their experience.” Right now, he and Gender Reel’s committee of trans people and allies are in the process of choosing from submissions from all over the world.

Action: Before they make their picks, however, they’re bringing visibility to the upcoming festival with a “coming out” party that’s happening concurrently with the Philadelphia Trans-Health Conference. The he/shebang will feature performances by trans and gender-variant artists like Katastrophe, Bear Bergman and Miss Mary Wanna, with proceeds, Ippolito says, benefiting the Jim Collins Foundation, a surgery fund for trans people. Thu., June 2, 9:30 p.m.-2 a.m., $5-$10, Tabu Lounge, 200 S. 12th St., 215-964-9675, genderreelfest.com.

(Joshua.middleton@citypaper.net) Have an upcoming LGBTQ event? Give it here. E-mail listings@citypaper.net.

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Lab adds one more interpretation to Colette Inezâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s poem â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Woman Who Loved Worms,â&#x20AC;? which Judith Robison translated into a dance (with Janet Brodie) in the early 1970s, and then into a book decades later.

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taking in some psychedelicized sights along the way. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Shaun Brady

â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Shaun Brady Fri., May 27, 8 p.m., Studio 34, 4522 Baltimore Ave.; Sat., May 28, 7 and 9 p.m., and Sun., May 29, 7 p.m., Christ Church Neighborhood House, 20 N. American St.; $15, bodiesoftext. blogspot.com.

Fri., May 27, 8 p.m., $7, with Boogie Witch and Zachary Cale, Highwire Gallery, 2040 Frankford Ave., museumfire.com/events.

SATURDAY [ rock/blues ]

D. CHARLES SPEER AND THE HELIX The schizophrenic alter ego of No Neck Blues Band guitarist Dave Shuford, D. Charles Speer exists in two forms: Solo, he weaves dense, Faheystyle guitar tapestries; as the frontman for The Helix, heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a Southern-fried balladeer. On their third album, Leaving the Commonwealth (Thrill Jockey), the band proves they can turn in an old-fashioned rockabilly rave-up as easily as an atmospheric haze of drone. Shuford and company trace a twanginďŹ&#x201A;ected line from the Civil War to Sweetheart of the Rodeo,

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[ the agenda ]

5.28 [ rock/pop ]

DRINK UP BUTTERCUP The psychedelic pride of Doylestown, Drink Up Buttercup have spent the better part of a year touring the world and spreading the good word about their 2010 debut, Born and Thrown on a Hook.

There are some bad words to spread, too, like â&#x20AC;&#x153;Young Ladies,â&#x20AC;? a dastardly song about a

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PHOTOGRAPH BY NEAL SANTOS ’50s BUICK PROVIDED BY PROFESSOR OUCH

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“May gives me spring fever. I just blossom like a tiger lily.” —Omyra Lynn

Thursday

Most of us have to work at it, but fierceness is a cakewalk for Omyra Lynn. See for yourself at her weekly Rainbow Thursday parties, where her divafied performances drip with enough ferocity to send Whitney crawling back to the crack. 8 p.m., free, Toxic Fish, 6041 Rising Sun Ave., 267-745-4517. —JM

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• Chicken Nuggets • Pizza Nuggets • Steak Nuggets • Turkey Burger Nuggets • Seafood Nuggets • Veggie Nuggets • Fruit Nuggets • Dessert Nuggets

THE WORDS “SUMMER” AND “DRAG” don’t usually belong in the same sentence — unless, of course, you find yourself under an Everest of wigs and 10 inches of foundation. To create this year’s Ultimate Summer Fun guide, we went out in search of sultry pinup broads to represent each month of our lofty summertime agenda. What we found were five of the most delicious, hardestworking drag queens in Philly — come on, who knows how to have a good time more than a dude who likes to tuck? Don’t worry, you don’t need an affinity for sequins or an appetite for gender-bending to take part. Just throw on whatever toasty-month threads make you feel most alive and tackle as many of our 103 summer-hap suggestions as you can handle. From dyke rallies (p. 31) and naked yoga sessions (p. 34) to stitch-and-bitch circles (p. 42) and pole-dancing workshops (p. 50), there’s enough here to keep your flip-flops flopping straight through Labor Day.

NUGGET MEALS $5 KIDS NUGGET MEALS Party Trays Available! Free Delivery!

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DRAG DAYS OF SUMMER

215-236-6500 1621 Cecil B. Moore. Philadelphia, PA 19121 Find us on Grubhub.com or www.popanugget.com

—Josh Middleton

(joshua.middleton@citypaper.net)

DRA G QUEE NS , S EL F - S T Y LE D | P H O T O G R A PH S B Y NE AL SANT OS

Friday

If you like the idea of mini-golf but not, well, children, head to Franklin Square before Historic Philadelphia’s Memorial Day weekend shebang hits full-tilt. The park should be peaceful enough to enjoy a few holes without getting thwacked by some toddler’s errant putter. Sixth and Race streets, historicphiladelphia.org. —CH

dark comedy by David Robson and John Stanton about Nazi propaganda filmmaker Leni Riefenstahl won Theatre Alliance’s small theater developmental award last summer. Through June 11, 2030 Sansom St., 267-571-9623, madhousetheater.org. —MC

Sunday

Take the train to Manayunk for Three Potato Four’s last-weekend-of-the-month Barn Sale. You’ll be sure to find a summertime-entertainment showpiece among this creaky old warehouse’s rousing

Monday

Varga Bar’s black cherry margarita is to-die.

Have one with friends, and bring a copy of Chuck Klosterman’s IV: A Decade of Curious People and Dangerous Ideas. The hypothetical questions within make for titillating drunken conversation.

Example: Would you rather eat a dead baby or a dead elderly person? How much would it bother you if either was delicious? 941 Spruce St., 215-6275200, vargabar.com. —KJ

Tuesday

Pop into “Resonance and Reflections” at AxD Gallery to spy the mutual inspiration that manifested itself in the works of Dolores Poacelli and Paul Davis Jones. The abstract artists became inspired by each other’s work when they shared a studio space in the Italian Market. Through June 18, free, 265 S. 10th St., 215-627-6250, a-x-d.com. —JM

CONTRIBUTOR KEY:

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MA: Mary Armstrong | BB: Bianca Brown | MVC: Matt V. Cantor | RC: Ryan Carey | MC: Mark Cofta | FD: Felicia D’Ambrosio TE: Theresa Everline | PG: Ptah Gabrie | CH: Carolyn Huckabay | TH: Tanya Hull | KJ: Kala Jamison | IJ: Izzy Johnson | GMK: Gary M. Kramer | DL: Drew Lazor | JM: Josh Middleton | HO: Holly Otterbein | CO: Cassie Owens | PR: Patrick Rapa | ES: Eric Schuman JW: Julia West | CW: Carolyn Wyman

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A Y 2 6 - J U N E 1 , 2 0 1 1 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

Saturday

Peep Playing Leni at Madhouse Theater Co. The

collection of antiques, industrial furnishings and “oddities.” 10 a.m.-5 p.m., 376 Shurs Lane, 267-3353633, threepotatofourshop.com. —JM

the naked city feature classifieds | food | the agenda | a&e

HA ND CRAFTED COMFORT A ND STYLE

I]Z WZhi \^[i ndj¼aa ZkZg \^kZ l^aa \d id hdbZdcZ ndj Ydc¼i ZkZc `cdl BV`Z hdbZdcZ¼h YgZVb XdbZ igjZ# 7ZXdbZ Vc Z\\ Ydcdg# Featured product: Krauss Bicycles (made in Philadelphia) Brooks England, Ltd (made in England)

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M^e YWd X[ W Zedeh5 Mec[d X[jm[[d j^[ W][i e\ ('#)( Ded#icea_d] r >[Wbj^o

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M_bb_Wc >$ F\[\\[h" C$:$ C_Y^W[b @$ =bWiid[h" C$:$ @e^d @$ Ehh_i" :$E$" C$8$7$ For more information, please contact the egg donor coordinator, Amy Fisher, RN, MSN, CRNP at 484-337-8958.

-"&&& :edWj[ oekh []]i Egg donors are seen at the Bryn Mawr office located 12 miles from Center City and easily accessible via SEPTA.

Purveryor of Fine Bicycles to the Gentry & the Poverty Stricken Too

115 SOUTH 22nd STREET BETWEEN SANSOM AND CHESTNUT.

(215) 564-2100

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PAINTING & CUSTOM BUILDERS

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ANTHONY 215-805-9469 VIC 215-626-6822

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Kitchens • Baths • Decks • Basements • Roofing • Windows • Doors • Sheetrock • Tile • Finish • Carpentry

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“June makes me think of games on the beach. I mean, who doesn’t love balls thrown in their face?” —Navaya Shay

Monday

The new season of RuPaul’s Drag U premières tonight along with Woody’s weekly viewing party, hostessed

by Navaya Shay. She’ll be gabbing with the crowd, handing out prizes and schooling those who need it on proper dragiquette. 10 p.m., free, 202 S. 13th St., 215-545-1893, woodysbar.com. —JM

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Shake a philanthropic leg at the Mural Arts Program-benefitting Wall Ball. The artsy bash features live entertainment, on-site mural painting and a VIP reception with chefs Georges Perrier and Marc Vetri.

5:30 p.m., $25-$500, Piazza at Schmidts, Second and Hancock streets, 215-685-0750, muralarts.org. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;PG

Thursday

In September, the second annual Gender Reel Festival will showcase multimedia works from gender-nonconforming artists. As a sneak peek, join some of the exhibitionists at this â&#x20AC;&#x153;Come Outâ&#x20AC;? Party for live music, dancing and previews of this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s film selections. 9:30 p.m., $5-$10, Tabu Lounge, 200 S. 12th St., 267-974-4259, genderreelfest.com. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;ES

Friday

As every origin story tells us, villains werenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t just born that way (quiet, Gaga) â&#x20AC;&#x201D; every comic baddie got his megamalevolence from a demented dad or a science project gone horribly wrong. X-Men: First Class opens today, which means weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll finally find out what made Magneto such a freaking jerk. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;CH

Saturday

If you believe grass is greater than concrete, ditch the Roots Picnic and head Jerseyward for the Appel Farm Arts & Music Festival, where everyone from Ani DiFranco and Red Horse to Gogol Bordello and Trombone Shortyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll drum up some serious bucolic bliss. 11:30 a.m.-8:30 p.m., $45, 457 Shirley Road, Elmer, N.J., 800-394-1211, appelfarm.org. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;CH

Sunday

Monday

The Baseball Project is a bunch of cult-rockers doing songs about Americaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pastime. For this tour, Mike Mills was traded for Peter Buck in an R.E.M.-themed onefor-one deal. 8 p.m., $12-$15, North Star Bar, 2639 Poplar St., 215-787-0488, northstarbar.com. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;PR

Tuesday

Paddle the Schuylkill

Sojourn, a guided river tour that offers a

picturesque, outside-in perspective of waterside cities like Conshohocken. $80, 484-945-0200, schuylkillriver.org. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;PG

Wednesday

Thursday

We hope Night Market vendors will be more prepared this year than last. Food carts stocked with delicious goods will line the street, and the suds will be flowing at Blockleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s beer garden. 6-10 p.m., 39th and Market streets, nightmarketphilly.org. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;JW

Friday

Once dissed and dismissed for precociousness, Conor Oberstâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s got a big-boy voice now and Bright Eyesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; latest, The Peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Key, is undeniably masterful.

7:30 p.m., $25-$33.50, Mann Center, 5201 Parkside Ave., 800-745-3000, manncenter.org. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;PR

Saturday

The Philly Dyke March is the perfect precursor to a fired-up Pride weekend. Stomp on over to Wash Westâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Kahn Park to witness impassioned speakers and boisterous performers from all facets of the dyke community cry out against the injustices faced by the queer, lady-loving set. 3-6 p.m., 11th and Pine streets. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;JM

Sunday

If escaping from Eastern State Penitentiary had been easy, Al Capone wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have stuck around.

Prison Break Weekend, featuring a rock-climbing wall meant to simulate what itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d take to jump ship, should at least give acrophobes pause: Those walls are really high. 11:30 a.m.-4:30 p.m., $12, 2027 Fairmount Ave., 215-236-3300, easternstate.org. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;CH

Monday

Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve seen her offering delectable treats from her sprinkle-bedecked truck. Sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the Buttercream Cupcake Lady, and nowâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the time to pay her a visit. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not savvy enough on â&#x20AC;&#x153;the Twitterâ&#x20AC;? to follow her updates, visit her website for the latest schedule and additions to her array of sweet comestibles. buttercreamphiladelphia.com â&#x20AC;&#x201D;ES

Tuesday

Tonight at the African-American Museum, the ACLU is hosting Voices of Freedom, featuring firsthand stories from everyday people who struggled to secure their natural rights. Arrive at 5:30 p.m. for mingling and pre-show refreshments. 6 p.m., $20$25, 701 Arch St., 215-592-1513, aclupa.org. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;JM

Wednesday

A sit-down gig for The Decemberists makes sense. Their songs are theatrical, narrative and epic â&#x20AC;&#x201D; worthy fare for the majestic Academy of Music. But Best Coast is opening? People better >>> continued on page 34

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5747 N. Broad St. Phila., PA 19141 (2 Blocks from Broad & Olney Junction. Next to Rainbow)

215.548.1648 Store Hours: Mon.- Sat. 10am- 7pm Layaway Available

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The cast of Foxâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s top-rated singing, dancing high school comedy will deliver energetic renditions of pop songs â&#x20AC;&#x2122;nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; showtunes on the Philly stop of their Glee! Live!

In Concert! summer tour. Will it be the hyperven-

tilating teens or crying perimenopausal women who scream the loudest? Only Stephen Sondheim knows for sure. 7:30 p.m., $111, Wells Fargo Center, 3601 S. Broad St., 800-298-4200, gleetour.com. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;FD

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Now that lounge-in-apark time is in full swing, you and your pals should throw a picnic. And since youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re in public, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s only natural that you play the Penis Game.

Whoever screams â&#x20AC;&#x153;penisâ&#x20AC;? loudest gets a Popsicle.

Better hurry, before it melts. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;BB

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THEY’VE COME FROM AROUND THE WORLD TO SAVE IT

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Extinct and endangered species join paws for the cause of animal conservation in X• tink• shun, a multimedia puppet presentation produced in partnership with The Jim Henson Company™ and presented exclusively at the Philadelphia Zoo.

APRIL 9–OCTOBER 31, 2011

™ & © The Jim Henson Company. All Rights Reserved.

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stand up. 8 p.m., $40, Academy of Music, 1420 Locust St., 215-893-1999, kimmelcenter.org. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;PR

Thursday

Tell everyone to meet at your place bearing brews, munchies and a litany of inconsequential knowledge for an impromptu Quizzo night. There are a bazillion trivia sites online where you can dig up no-brainers and serious stumpers. Get into it with categories, chintzy prizes and nerve-racking trashtalk sessions. Bitch said what? â&#x20AC;&#x201D;JW

Friday

Fencing( the oldest modern sport â&#x20AC;˘ an original olympic sport the sport for all ages â&#x20AC;˘ your sport.

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LOCATIONS IN( >VWZORSZ^VWO 2SZOeO`S 1VSab\cb 6WZZ <Seb]e\ A_cO`S BVS ;OW\ :W\S New beginners classes start the week of June 6 and 13 at our Philadelphia and Chestnut Hill locations, fully air conditioned.

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Fall classes start after Labor Day.

Lavender should be approaching peak bloom at the Peace Valley Lavender Farm, where ribbons of delicate tints cross the hillside omitting a scent that is gently sedating. Ohmmm. 802 New Galena Road, Doylestown, peacevalleylavender.com. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;MA

Saturday

They say feminists donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have a sense of humor. If that were true, how could they come up with SlutWalk, the ultimate comeback to a Toronto copâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s appallingly sexist remark, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimizedâ&#x20AC;?? Show some cleavage to protest this shameful victim-blaming. Check the website for date and location, facebook.com/slutwalkphiladelphia. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;HO

Sunday

Head to NoLibs to go knickknack hunting at Piazza Celebrates Crafts. All items were approved by a jury before garnering booth time, so you know this shitâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s gonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; be good. 11 a.m.-6 p.m., free, Piazza at Schmidts, Second and Hancock streets, atthepiazza.com. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;JM

Tuesday

Yogaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s spiritual freedom takes on a whole new meaning when downward dogging with your bare ass in the air. Give it a shot at tonightâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s men-only Naked Yoga Philly. We suggest a spot in the front row. 7 p.m., $10-$20, Naked Yoga Philly, 13th and Walnut streets, register at nakedyogaphilly.eventbrite.com. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;JM

Wednesday

Chestnut Park is a pocket park thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s celebrating

its recent renovation with a series of intimate-scale concerts in a little slice of greenery. Noon, free, Chestnut Park, 1707 Chestnut St., centercityphila.org/ about/chestnutpark.php. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;TE

Thursday

Larry Magidâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

done it all â&#x20AC;&#x201D; from opening the Electric Factory to bagging two Tony Awards.

Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll surely bring the ephemera, photos and posters to prove it when radio personality David Dye, whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s witnessed Magidâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s entire trajectory, interviews him onstage at the Free Libraryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s central branch. 7:30 p.m., free, 1901 Vine St., 215-567-4341, freelibrary.org. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;MA

Friday

Vegans have it rough in this city â&#x20AC;&#x201D; seems like every eatery-au-courantâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s experimenting with all manner of offal. Lucky for you, the unassuming Horizons specializes in un-animals. Unlucky for you, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s closing in July. Grab a rezzie and say your goodbyes over greens, not glands. 611 S. Seventh St., 215-923-6117, horizonsphiladelphia.com. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;CH

Saturday

Devote time to Phillyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s furriest: The Humane League of Philadelphia is hosting a 2.5-mile Walk for Animals that ends at an adoption fair at the Ethical Society. 9:30 and 11 a.m., free, 1906 S. Rittenhouse Square, 484-904-6004, phillywalk.org. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;JM

Sunday

While Def Leppard goes soft â&#x20AC;&#x201D; word is theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re redoing hits like â&#x20AC;&#x153;Pour Some Sugar on Meâ&#x20AC;? as lullabies for babies â&#x20AC;&#x201D; tourmates Heart are celebrating the 35-year anniversary of Dreamboat Annie, the fiery debut that gave us â&#x20AC;&#x153;Crazy on Youâ&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;Magic Man.â&#x20AC;? 7:30 p.m., $25-$143.50, Susquehanna Bank Center, 1 Harbor Blvd., Camden, N.J., livenation. com. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;PR

Monday

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Today, my friends â&#x20AC;Ś we have conquered fear.â&#x20AC;? Since FDR announced that to the DNC in Philadelphia on this date in 1936, fear seems to have made a comeback. Make this Fuck Fear Day, and write a scolding letter to your least favorite fear-mongering politician or pundit. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;PR

Tuesday

Before Botox came along, people would stave off that saggy death look with mummification.

Visit the Franklin Institute to ogle historyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s best examples of preserved carcass in its Mummies of the World exhibit. Through Oct. 23, $26.50, 222 N. 20th St., 877-834-8497, fi.edu. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;JM

Wednesday

Long Story Short, written and performed by SNL

alum Colin Quinn, skewers celebrities in a wacky world history â&#x20AC;&#x153;from Socrates to Snooki.â&#x20AC;? Direction

by Jerry Seinfeld. Through July 10, $51-$65, Suzanne Roberts Theatre, 480 S. Broad St., 215-985-0420, philadelphiatheatrecompany.org. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;MC

Thursday

July 3 is the last day the public will ever be able to tour Dr. Albert Barnesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Merion mansion, home of his awe-inspiring collection of Monets, Matisses, and Van Goghs, before it relocates to the Parkway.

Whether you deem the move the art worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s greatest steal or a win for the common man, make a reservation to spend a few hours with the collection in its original digs. $17, 300 N. Latches Lane, Merion, 610-667-0290, barnesfoundation.org. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;FD

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Pass?

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Take the Phlash.

Now use your SEPTA pass on the Phlash.

Including: Pennâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Landing, the Philadelphia Museum of Art and the Philadelphia Zoo.

For more information call 215.580.7800 or visit www.SEPTA.org or www.phillyphlash.com

35

Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have a SEPTA pass? No problem. From May 1st to October 31st jump on the Phlash and pay $2 per person per ride. An individual all-day Phlash pass is just $5, and an all-day family Phlash pass is just $10. Children under 5 and seniors are always free.

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A Y 2 6 - J U N E 1 , 2 0 1 1 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

Get on and off at 27 tourist destinations throughout the city at no additional cost.

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Free performances for families

Sundays @ 2pm

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U LT I M AT E S U M M E R F U N

2011 S M

T

W

T

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3 4 5 6 7 10 11 12 13 14 17 18 19 20 21 24 26 27 28 31 25

F S 1 2 8 9 15 16 22 23 29 30

“To me, July is all about fireworks, Betsy Ross and … jumbo hot dogs.” —Diana Dharling

Friday

Everyone needs to experience drag at least once. Head to Q Lounge tonight for Freaky Fridays, hosted by Diana Dharling and Mrs. Pinklewinkle. Each week they welcome drag wannabes on stage for a little sashay-shonte moment of their very own. 9 p.m., free, 1234 Locust St., 215-732-1800, qphilly.com. —JM

Sunday

YOU THINK YOU’RE SOOOOO SMART, DON’T YOU?

R&B superstar nutjob

R. Kelly has endured the ridicule and just

keeps on keeping on, these days touring on the back of his gold-selling Love Letter album. First few rows may get wet. 7:30 p.m., $41-$114.30, Mann Center, 5201 Parkside Ave., 215-893-1999, manncenter.org. —PR

Monday

After several stints in the opening slot, Philly hip-hop heroes The Roots finally headline the Independence Day gig on the Parkway. Fireworks follow. 5-11 p.m., free, Ben Franklin Parkway, welcomeamerica.com. —PR

Tuesday

Summer’s the season of epic blockbusters, but if you crave something more personal, let your peepers take in “Fighting Kissing Dancing.” This installation and video projection art gets weird, makes you uncomfortable and — best of all — doesn’t feature Cameron Diaz. Through Aug. 26, $3, Fabric Workshop and Museum, 1222 Arch St., 215-568-1111, fabricworkshopandmuseum.org. —JW

Wednesday

Hatchet Man

Thursday

While it’s disconcerting that an entire generation is about to embrace the skinny kid who got screwed out of Facebook as the new Peter Parker, it’s comforting that 2002’s Spider-Man can now be classified a superhero classic. Give it up for Tobey Maguire, who’ll always be Spidey No. 1 in our hearts, at tonight’s screening on the Schuylkill. 8:20 p.m., free, Schuylkill Banks by the Walnut Street Bridge, 215-2226030, schuylkillbanks.org. —DL

Raise a glass (or seven) to summer on the Brandywine Valley Wine Trail, a network of local wineries that host regular tastings for serious oenophiles and casual winos. Get your pastoral splendor-enhanced buzz on — just don’t forget to buy your designated-driver dinner on the way home. Bvwinetrail.com. —CH

CHECK OUT CITYPAPER.NET/QUIZZO FOR ALL YOUR QUIZZO NEEDS

Monday

Practice your storytelling chops with a tale about the mo’ fo’ who lives above you. The theme for this First Person Arts Summer Slam is “Neighbors,” so if you have a thread to spin about, say, the nympho, klepto, Mars Volta fan upstairs, come share the wealth. 8:30 p.m., $10, World Café Live, 3025 Walnut St., 215-222-1400, firstpersonarts.org. —RC

Tuesday

Among the cast of characters you’ll see on tonight’s QFest film schedule: Latino ex-cons, gay best friends, hiphop instructors, military lovers, Pope-nappers and a baby dyke. See you there. July 7-18, qfest.com. —CH

Wednesday

For a classy concert experience, check out Pink Martini’s appearance at Longwood Gardens’ summer performance series. Given their celebrated mix of cocktail jazz, global exotica and light classical, the “little orchestra” should consider a permanent residency at the lush Kennett Square expanse. 7:30 p.m., $39-$75, Longwood Gardens, 1001 Longwood Road, 610-388-1000, longwoodgardens.org. —ES

Thursday

All young women should read Erica Jong’s Fear of Flying, if for no other reason than to intimidate future boyfriends. Thank her in person for all the lessons about sex at the Free Library tonight, where she’ll keep the conversation going with Sugar in My Bowl, a new book about bedroom talk. 7:30 p.m., free, 1901 Vine St., 215-567-4341, freelibrary.org. —CH

th 80 Annual

JUNE 3-5 More than 140 artists from around the country will

The oldest outdoor art show of only original artwork in the entire country

Friday and Saturday from 11am – 7pm; Sunday from 11am – 5pm

www.RittenhouseSquareArt.org

RADIATOR COVERS

Friday

The last Harry Potter film premières today. Whether you’ve already gotten your black-framed glasses and wand at the ready, or if you just find Hermione hot, check it out. This may be these kids’ last romp. —TH

Saturday

Pop inside the Reading Terminal Market for the >>> continued on page 42

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Had enough of another hot ’n’ steamy Philly summer and its accompanying wimpy beers? Time travel to Dec. 25 via Grey Lodge Pub’s annual Christmas in July party, featuring several of the best things about the winter holiday (Tröegs’ Mad Elf, Sly Fox) and none of the bad (shopping, fruitcake). 6-10 p.m., pay as you go, Grey Lodge Pub, 6235 Frankford Ave., 215-8563591, greylodge.com. —CW

Sunday

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A Y 2 6 - J U N E 1 , 2 0 1 1 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

imagines a golf magazine, Putts, headed for corporate takeover. What does the editorial staff do? Panic! David Wiltse’s new play at Malvern’s People’s Light & Theatre Co. promises recession angst, door-slamming farce and funny golf clothes.

Through July 17, $25-$45, 39 Conestoga Road, Malvern, 610-644-3500, peopleslight.org. —MC

Friday

Saturday

You haven’t conquered Philly’s nightlife until you’ve done the Gayborhood, and Pink Pub Crawl is the perfect introduction, with tour stops in four of the hood’s mainstays and free bevvies with the gays. 9 p.m., $25-$35, Tavern on Camac, 243 S. Camac St., 215545-0900, nightlifegay.com. —JM

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Buried Child won Sam Shepard a Pulitzer in 1979, and Temple Reps prove that its dark dissection of the American family remains vital. Through July 31, $20-$25, Randall Theater, Temple University, 1301 W. Norris St., 215-204-1334, temple.edu/theater. —MC

HEY SMARTYPANTS,

feature

Saturday

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U LT I M AT E S U M M E R F U N

Ultimate Philadelphia Ice Cream Festival. Besides licking cold treats, you can peruse craft tables, listen to tunes and … oh, who are we kidding? Just have more ice cream. 10 a.m.-4 p.m., free, 51 N. 12th St., 215- 922-2317, readingterminalmarket.org. —TH

Sunday

If regular running isn’t hardcore enough for you, sign up for the Merrell Down & Dirty Mud Run, where your 5K or 10K will include rope climbing, fence jumping and hella mud pits. Just sayin’: Bring a change of underwear. 7 a.m., $55-$75, 2000 Belmont Mansion Drive, 818-707-8866, ext. 32, downanddirtymudrun.com. —CH

Monday

Pull your most tattered pair of Doc Martens out of the closet. Singer/songwriter EMA’s coming to Kung Fu Necktie tonight with her raucous brand of folkrock in tow. 8 p.m., $10, Kung Fu Necktie, 1248 N. Front St., kungfunecktie.com. —CO

Tuesday

All of this funfor-me time is starting to feel selfish.

Today, volunteer at Cradles to Crayons’ Giving Factory. You can inspect books, match outfits and test toys before they’re shipped off to needy kids.

You sweet thing, you. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., 30 Clipper Road, West Conshohocken, 215-836-0958, cradlestocrayons.org. —JM

Wednesday

42 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

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The Institute of Contemporary Art’s “That’s How We Escaped” chronicles Andy Warhol’s first solo museum show, which opened at the ICA in 1965 with a near-riot. Through Aug. 7, free, 118 S. 36th St., 215 898-7108, icaphila.org. —CH

Thursday

Pop in to Square Peg’s weekly Stitch & Bitch circle to complain with strangers and stitch up a breezy knit shrug or swanky bikini. Or at least make an attempt, dammit. 6-8 p.m., free, 108 S. 20th St., 215360-5548, squarepegartery.com. —JW

Friday

Don’t get queasy because Simpsons voice Harry Shearer takes on the deep topic of flooding in New Orleans in The Big Uneasy. At the post-screening Q&A, he’ll talk poor science — and poorer management.

7 p.m., $8, International House, 3701 Chestnut St., 215-387-5125, ihousephilly.org. —GMK

Saturday

Cee Lo Green’s “Fuck You” remains the national anthem for crybabies everywhere. Meanwhile Rihanna’s “What’s My Name?” is as fierce as mainstream R&B gets. Both are vocal powerhouses. 7:30 p.m., $22.75-$250, Wells Fargo Center, 3601 S. Broad St., 215-336-3600, livenation.com. —PR

Sunday

You’ve already blown your other four chances to go to Shakespeare in Clark Park — you better show up early unless you want to sit behind some West Philly lawn chair party. This summer the players present Much Ado About Nothing, so bring your lover(s). 7 p.m., free, 43rd Street and Chester Avenue, 215-462-2115, shakespeareinclarkpark.org. —CH

Monday

World Café Live’s

Philly Rising is the mother of all local

open mics. And unlike most, it’s a competition — so sit back and watch local talent battle it out for a range of musical prizes. 7 p.m., free, 3025 Walnut St., 215-222-1400, philly.worldcafelive.com. —MVC

Tuesday

It’s guerrilla gardening time! Tart up that eyesore of a rental on your block by tucking a few plants in lonely bare spots. Don’t forget to water! —MA

Wednesday

The Taste of Philly Food Tour is perfect for both

tourists and natives who want to consolidate local eating into a single afternoon. Follow your guide through Reading Terminal Market and get schooled on regional specialties like scrapple — sweet, sweet scrapple. Every Wednesday and Saturday, 10 a.m., $15.95, 51 N. 12th St., 800-8383006, tasteofphillyfoodtour.com. —DL

Thursday

When celebrities write books, we get nervous. So does crooning cutie Josh Ritter have a fighting chance? Find out tonight at the Free Library, where he’ll read from Bright’s Passage. 7:30 p.m., free, 1901 Vine St., 215-567-4341, freelibrary.org. —CH

Friday

Check out the rare silent films by underground filmmaker Pierre Clementi. The dazzling, kaleidoscopical images will be accompanied by live musicians. 7 p.m., $8, International House, 3701 Chestnut St., 215387-5125, ihousephilly.org. —GMK

Saturday

Let’s flash mob the Quaker City Master’s Regatta.

We’ll do Philadelphia’s biggest simultaneous Charleston in history, all while wearing T-shirts with “2008” printed on them. You know, representing the last time flash mobs were all the rage. —RC

Sunday

Swing by

Headhouse Square for Philly’s larg-

est and most popular open-air farmers market.

Bring cash for all the produce, dairy, herbs and organics you can fathom. Through Dec. 18, 10 a.m.-2 p.m., free, Second and Lombard streets, 215-575-0444, thefoodtrust.org. —KJ

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citypaper.net SUMMER 2011

author events

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[ NEW AND IMPROVED ]

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P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | M A Y 2 6 - J U N E 1 , 2 0 1 1 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

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U LT I M AT E S U M M E R F U N

2011

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S M T W T F S 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 “I live for August. It’s my light-flow month.”

—Brittany Lynn

Sunday

Got prize-winning talent? Brittany Lynn hosts Gay for Pay, a weekly contest judging “anything from fire eating to blow jobs.” At the end of each month, winners are brought back to compete for a $200 grand prize.

9 p.m., free, Q Lounge, 1234 Locust St., 215-732-1800, qphilly.com. —JM

the naked city

u lt i m at e S u m m e r F u n

feature

Photographic Vision

for Teenagers helps students gain insight to determine and deliver high-quality black-andwhite documentation of the urban landscape.

Plus it gets them out of your hair for a few hours.

2-5 p.m., $425, Project Basho, 1305 Germantown Ave., 215-238-0928, projectbasho.org. —PG

Tuesday

Road-trip alert! This totally retro roller rink hosts (12+) adult skate to the sounds of live organist Ralph Brown.

If your spirit is willing but your ankles are weak, show up early for lessons with resident skating pro Dr. George Maass. He’s a doctor; do what he says.

7:30-10 p.m., $7, 1775 Creek Road, Delanco, N.J., 856-461-3770, holidayskatingcenter.com. —FD

Wednesday

Lovely homes, striking red-brick mill buildings and a big uphill climb. That’s what you’ll be rewarded with when you explore East Falls with a self-guided walking tour. Destinationschuylkillriver.org. —TE

Thursday

Summer at Hedgerow Theatre means a hilarious Ray Cooney farce. Jared Reed directs Two Into One, about a randy parliament minister plotting a fling with the prime minister’s secretary — in the same hotel where he’s staying with his wife. Through Aug. 7, $22-$25, 64 Rose Valley Road, Media, 610-5654211, hedgerowtheatre.org. —MC

Friday

Saturday

Jump at the chance to tour Yards’ state-of-the-art Delaware Ave. facilities. Learn about the beer-making process and the Philly fave’s many green initiatives, then have a pint in the brewery’s tasting room.

12:30-4 p.m., free, Yards Brewing, 901 N. Delaware Ave., 215-634-2600, yardsbrewing.com. —DL

Monday

Gather your stale bread and head to Valley Green Park to feed the ducks. While you’re at it, bring a picnic basket for yourself. Valley Green Road at Wissahickon. —IJ

Tuesday

Thursday

This year marks the 137th birthday of the Philadelphia Zoo, making it the oldest animal oasis in the nation. Pay homage by spending the day visiting with more than 1,300 rare and endangered critters.

Just hold your nose when you approach the ape den. 9:30 a.m.-5 p.m., $18, 3400 Girard Ave., 215243-1100, philadelphiazoo.org. —TH

Friday

Assuage all your Art Museum patronage guilt in one fell swoop: Fist pump your way up those stairs, check out “Rembrandt and the Face of Jesus,” and then stroll back down for Art After 5’s promise of jazz and cocktails. $30-$36, 2600 Ben Franklin Parkway, 215-763-8100, philamuseum.org. —CH

Join the Alliance Francaise for French Flavored activities such as conferences, luncheons & happy hours and wine lectures. We also offer 15 levels of French Classes, including Business French, French for Travelers, Literature & Cinema Classes, French for Children and advanced classes.

SUMMER SESSION of

FRENCH CLASSES

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Saturday

Longwood Gardens is an idyllic escape from the city. Admire the flora, and then settle in for “Stravinsky ’Stravaganza,” where colorful fireworks and fountains erupt along with Stravinsky’s most famous works. 9:15 p.m., $38, Longwood Gardens, 1001 Longwood Road, Kennett Square, 610388-1000, longwoodgardens.org. —KJ

Sunday

Use this day of rest to take advantage of Sunday-only food/drink happenings. Amis (412 S. 13th St.) and Modo Mio (161 W. Girard Ave.) do old-school Sunday-gravy dinners tonight; Supper (926 South St.) and Jose Garces’ JG Domestic (2929 Arch St.) offer family-style feasts; and Tria (123 S. 18th St.) and Biba (3131 Walnut St.) offer half-price “Sunday School” wine/beer/cheese deals. —DL

Monday

Never can decide on the right water ice flavor? Gather the homies together for an Italian ice taste-off.

What’s that? Your fave isn’t the mango? Child, please. Get the debate started at your favorite spot and chill out as summer begins to wind down. —CO

Tuesday

When it comes to environmental responsibility, PECO practices what it preaches. Peep the building’s Earth-friendly crown on the PECO Green Roof Tour and get inspired to cut down on your >>> continued on page 50

47

Choose a microbrew and settle in for story time at Jaime Fountaine’s monthly Second Stories soiree at The Dive. Tonight’s presenters share tales about life imitating cinema. 7 p.m., free, 947 E. Passyunk Ave., 215-465-5505, jaimefountaine.com. —JM

Former America’s Got Talent finalist and reigning “Philly’s Phunniest” Doogie Horner hosts a free standup show, Ministry of Secret Jokes, at Fergie’s Pub. Comedians in suits are often accompanied by dancing bears, pro-wrestling music on the cello and hypothetical duels to the death (real duels are rare). 8 p.m., free, 1214 Sansom St., 215-928-8118, ministryofsecretjokes.com. —RC

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Death Cab for Cutie gets top billing tonight at the Mann, but come early for Frightened Rabbit, a Scottish indie outfit whose 2010 album, The Winter of Mixed Drinks, made us feel cozy in the coldest months. 7:30 p.m., $29.50-$39.50, Mann Center, 5201 Parkside Ave., 800745-3000, manncenter.org. —CH

Wednesday

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U LT I M AT E S U M M E R F U N

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own costs. 5 p.m., $5-$10, 2301 Market St., 215-9888869, pennsylvaniahorticulturalsociety.org. —CH

Wednesday

Embrace your vintage style and save some cash by celebrating National Thrift Store Day. If you’re not into wearing hand-me-downs, buy the gaudiest knickknack you can find as a gag gift. —TH

Thursday

Why not combine a gorgeous setting with a bunch of chicks who are interesting and, well, decomposed?

“From Classy Broads to Daring Dames: The Ladies of Laurel Hill” is a guided tour of the cemetery’s female residents. 6 p.m., $20, Laurel Hill Cemetery, 3822 Ridge Ave., thelaurelhillcemetery.org. —TE

Friday

As anyone who’s seen Ghost already knows, potter’s wheels are totally sexy. Take your main squeeze to the Clay Studio’s Date Night, where instructors will give you the skills to straddle up and make something together. 7-9 p.m., $30-$35, 139 N. Second St., 215925-3453, theclaystudio.org. —CH

Saturday

Guitar hero David Bromberg is reason enough to pop in to the Philadelphia Folk Festival today. Arlo Guthrie’s just the icing on the cake. 11 a.m.-mid., $34-$66, 1323 Salford Station Road, Schwenksville, 215-247-1300, pfs.org/folk-festival. —MA

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M A Y 2 6 - J U N E 1 , 2 0 1 1 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

THE BIGGEST WATERPARK IN NJ & PA JUST GOT

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Sunday

Whether you’re a newbie looking to learn basic metalsmithing techniques or a veteran keen to stonesetting, five days of workshops will offer all the skill-building you could want. Hit up the two-floor Bead Fest Philadelphia for retail opportunities with dozens of vendors from across the country. 10 a.m.-4 p.m., $12, Valley Forge Convention Center, 1160 First Ave., King of Prussia, beadfest.com. —FD

Monday

The combination of drinking, watching a movie on the big screen and annoying strangers with incessant video commentary feels so summer-in-Philly. At the Troc’s weekly Movie Monday, swig cheap beer and half-watch a movie you’ve probably already seen. 8 p.m., $3, Trocadero, 1003 Arch St., 215-9226888, thetroc.com. —JW

Tuesday

SAVE UP TO $20! $4 off General Admission*

* Valid up to 5 general admission tickets per transaction. Receive $4 off

from May 28th - Sept. 5, 2011. Not valid with any other offers. No cash value. Height restrictions apply. Redeem at any open ticket window.

Too pious for pole-dancing? Sign up for Ass Camp Tuesday, billed as a serious workout for your booty.

8:30 p.m., $10-$50, Got Pole?, 610 S. Third St., 215454-2283, platinumpoledancestudio.com. —CH

Wednesday

Pick up your guitar, warm up your voice and head to

The Legendary Dobbs for one of Philly’s best open

mics. Big-voiced host John Faye will make you feel welcome and you’ll be sure of an audience, since the bar has just three walls — the fourth side opens onto the street. 8 p.m., free, 304 South St., 215-5017288, dobbsphilly.com. —MVC

Thursday

Check out gorgeous public art, down a bunch of refreshing drinks and even work in a negligible amount of cardio on the Mural Arts Program’s Ale & Arts Walking Adventure. Stay hydrated, kids.

Thursdays through Labor Day, 5:30 p.m., $30, Field House, 1150 Filbert St., muralarts.org. —DL

Friday

What better way to spice things up than throwing a lastminute costume party? Give it a period theme: private eyes, femme fatales, Victorian. Just skip the ’80s — it’s radically overdone. —BB

Saturday

Bust a retro move at the Arts Parlor’s weekly Lindy Hop classes. A variety of lessons cater to novice newcomers and veteran hepcats alike. Better yet, bring a dance partner to perfect those acrobatic steps you’ve seen professional swingers deftly maneuver. 11 a.m.-2:20 p.m., $10, Arts Parlor, 1170 S. Broad St., phillylindyhop.com. —ES

Sunday

No “good” deed goes unpunished: Bring an unsuspecting niece to tonight’s Phillies/Marlins game, where they’re giving away Cliff Lee gym bags to kids 14 and under. You will steal that bag from your niece and you won’t feel bad about it. She’ll understand in a few years. 1:35 p.m., mlb.com. —CH

Monday

Tonight, Philly comedy stalwart Chip Chantry is performing variety-show-style standup at Shubin Theatre. His One-Man show, featuring Philly comedy talents, is always good for a slew of hearty LOLs. 8 p.m., $10, 407 Bainbridge St., 215-592-0119, phillyimprovtheater.com. —RC

Tuesday

Johannes Kelpius

moved from Germany to a cave along the Wissahickon 300 years ago to await the end of times. Today his cave home is one of the creepiest spots in Fairmount Park. Grab some friends, and see who can stay inside the longest. Near Hermitage Mansion, 700 Hermit Lane, 215-725-4171, fairmountparkhistoricsites.org. —PG

Wednesday

Embrace the thwack of a pingpong ball during open walk-in hours at the Trolley Car Table Tennis Club.

6-10 p.m., $5, Trolley Car Table Tennis Club, 3300 Henry Ave., 267-335-2743, trolleycarttc.com. —TE

the naked city feature

8/4/11

EDUCATION GUIDE ISSUE

a&e | the agenda | food | classifieds

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4`SS /RdS`b]`WOZ eWbV O & ^OUS 1]Z]` OR ]` ZO`US` 1]\bOQb SARA CARANO T]` W\T] O\R `ObSa( 215-825-2484

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Ten Extraordinary Attractions, One Extraordinary Price.

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“After taking a year to thank God for the work he’s done, September’s all about worshipping the Goddess.” —The Goddess Isis

Thursday

Go into a jealous rage every time your friend brags about his backyard garden? Take comfort in philanthropy, apartment-dweller. Sign up for Greensgrow’s volunteer day — it’ll make you look like a saint next to your buddy and his uppity heirloom tomatoes. Thursdays, 9:30 a.m.-4 p.m., 2501 E. Cumberland St., greensgrow.org. —CH

Friday

Hold on to your butts: The 15th annual Live Arts Festival/Philly Fringe, a two-week celebration of provocative, gorgeous, wacky performance art, starts today. Spend the afternoon perusing the program and planning your attack. Tell your friends you’ll see them in October. Through Sept. 17, livearts-fringe.org. —CH

Saturday

Had a dry summer? Next to your favorite battery-powered vroom-vroom, there’s no better way to inch toward the “Big O” than devouring wine and chocolate. Bring a pal and a bottle

of vino to Queen Village chocolateria Golosa for an evening of ecstasy that won’t send you home with your head hung in shame. 806 S. Sixth St., pay as you go, 215925-1003, golosacafe.com. —JM

Sunday

On the holiest of days, The

Goddess Isis and a couple of her naughtiest

gal pals gather to “serve up sin on a fiery platter.”

Taste the burn at Sinful Sundays, her cabaret-style shebang that’s riddled with irreverent draggery. 10:30 p.m., free, Tabu Lounge, 200 S. 12th St., 215-964-9675, tabuphilly.com. —JM

Monday

Thanks to its forever associations with the first day of school, Labor Day can be a major downer. So keep Delaware River Tubing’s Labor Day Tubing Extravaganza on your calendar — it’s a totally tubular way to celebrate all the fun you’ve had this summer. Bravo. 2998 Daniel Bray Highway, Frenchtown, N.J., 908-996-5386, delawarerivertubing.com. —CH

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On Wed., May 11, Philadelphia Business Journal & Philadelphia City Paper hosted the area’s hottest happy hour with food & spirit samples from top restaurants and top restaurateur panel discussion.

THAI CUISINE

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Thank You Exhibitors

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M A Y 2 6 - J U N E 1 , 2 0 1 1 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

2312 Garrett Chick’s Cafe & Wine Bar Delicatessen Desserts by Dana KOO ZEE DOO Harvest Seasonal Grill & Wine Bar Marabella Meatball Co.

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Pop-A-Nugget Pudding Lane Shank’s Uptown Skinny Water Supper Triumph Brewing Co.

Thank You Partners Center City District & Center City Proprietors Association

Thank You Panelists

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the naked city

A Philly Kind Of Love

57

much sweet stuff rots your teeth, anyhow.

—A.D. Amorosi Sat., May 28, 9 p.m., $10, with Toy Soldiers, Busses, Orbit to Leslie and Paper Masques, The Fire, 412 W. Girard Ave., 866-777-8932, iourecords.com/ thefire.

of Peter Glantz and the Imaginary Company’s performance piece, Being Impossible, is itself near impossible. Combining larger-than-life puppetry, an intergalactic storyline and musical contributions from a handful of notable experimental composers, Being Impos-

[ multimedia ]

—Eric Schuman

BEING IMPOSSIBLE

Sat., May 28, 8 p.m., Space 1026, 1026 Arch St.; Sun., May 29, 7 p.m., Rotunda, 4014 Walnut St.; $5-$10, with PuppeTyranny!, 267-909-2633, puppetuprising.org.

Trying to explain the premise

SUNDAY

M A Y 2 6 - J U N E 1 , 2 0 1 1 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

sible is less a show than a multimedia assault. Glantz’s production was inspired by interviews he conducted with members of Sun Ra’s legendary Arkestra, and the interstellar motifs are appropriately plentiful to honor the memory of the pioneering bandleader. Being Impossible revolves around Oz, a time- and space-traveling student who shares the story of his trip across the galaxy

58 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

against a backdrop of psychedelic video art. Spacey as it all sounds, Glantz and company have the uncanny skill of mixing a sly poignancy into their production. Otherworldly, definitely, but there’s something unexpectedly relatable about a glowing snake-man’s voyage to the sun.

5.29 [ rock/pop ]

expansive as a small orchestra. Now that Berk lives in Portland, Ore., she’s replaced her old collaborators and their traditional instruments with Kerby Ferris’ and Emily Kingan’s synths and sequencers. But Dark Light (Badman), Lovers’ fifth album, is no less heartfelt, or human. Fashions may change, but forbidden and thwarted love are timeless, as the dramatic “Figure 8” and the spacey “No Regrets” make clear. It’s “Peppermint,” though, that gives the greatest insight into Berk’s journey. Sonically, it’s light years away from the version that closed 2002’s Star Lit Sunken Ship, but its romantic spirituality remains.

—M.J. Fine Sun., May 29, 7 p.m., $7, with Des Ark, A Stick and a Stone, and Carmen, Cha-Cha’razzi, 1918 S. Bancroft St., facebook.com/nowavelength.

LOVERS When Carolyn Berk lived in Athens, Ga., she made aching songs about love and loneliness that were as intimate as an acoustic guitar and as

[ rock/pop ]

[ the agenda ]

nuanced emotional shadings within a well-worn aesthetic, frequently venturing into ALICE PROUJANSKY

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boozy party atmosphere gone terribly wrong. But even the bad trips sound sweet in the hands of producer Bill Moriarty (Dr. Dog, Man Man) and songwriter Jim Harvey: the jangling memorable melodies, the brightly bouncing rhythms and warm production values.

Then again Drink Up Buttercup don’t sound so sugary in a live setting. More like David Yow fronting the Cramps. Too

fairly abstract/confrontational electro-psych territory. And it makes the most of choice guest spots from two of indiedom’s stronger, subtler voices; Gang Gang Dance’s Lizzi Bougatsos and Hot Chip’s Alexis Taylor.

—K. Ross Hoffman Sun., May 29, 6 p.m., $10, with The Death Set and Popo, Barbary, 951 Frankford Ave., 215-634-7400, r5productions.com.

WIN WIN The prospect of a Vice-endorsed, Baltimore/Brooklynbased project boasting a pair of former Spank Rock members/ associates (XXXchange and Chris Devlin) and a fulltime video collage artist (the amusingly named Ghostdad), along with myriad cameos from the likes of Andrew WK and DFA second-stringers Pixeltan, smacks of a certain acid-washed, threadbare hipster glitz that’s mighty hard to stomach this late in the century. But despite a predictable predilection for “party”-minded eclectro and “dirty” rock-techno retreads, Win Win’s eponymous debut finds some surprising vitality and intriguingly dark,

[ rock/pop ]

TIMES NEW VIKING Production values go up with each Times New Viking release — long gone are the days of struggling to differentiate between Beth Murphy’s warbling high notes and her keyboards going into the red — but the Ohio trio will probably never achieve a state of clean-channel clarity. Good. Messes are what they do best. The new Dancer Equired (Merge) is gloriously lo-fi, with blunt guitars pouncing and voices singing on top of each other like stations struggling for dominance on a car stereo. And even when things really start clanging

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59

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and competing, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a harmony there. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s catchy, dented and pretty. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Patrick Rapa

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~THURSDAY~ $2 Miller Lite ALL DAY ½ Price Drinks (All Drinks) 9-11pm ½ Price Irish Craic Nachos ~FRIDAY~ New Friday Happy Hour $1 High Life and $3 Jameson and Ginger from 6-8pm Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s in the Box Promotion 7-10pm.

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~SUNDAY~ Skillet Brunch until 3 pm. $5 Pulled Pork Pubwiches $3 Bud light pints ALL DAY $ 3 Stella Pints & $4 Guinness Pints 9-11 p.m

Sun., May 29, 9 p.m., $12, with The Babies and Far-Out Fangtooth, Johnny Brendaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 877435-9849, johnnybrendas.com.

TUESDAY

5.31 MOONSTONE READING Impressive lineup of new-guard writers reading at Moonstone on Tuesday: Noah Gershman, whose latest collection of poetry, The Enthusiast, just came out on Snail Press. Rachel B. Glaser who wrote the short story collection Pee on Water (pictured) and poetry chapbook Heroes Are So Long. Natalie Lyalin, doer of the blog Apples on Fire, co-editor GlitterPony litmag and author of a poetry book called Pink and Hot Pink Habitat. And Michelle

COMING UP: Eilen Jewell 6/18, Gillian Grassie 6/18, Elizabeth Cook 5/22, Alice Smith 6/25 FRI 5/27 7:00

FRI 5/27 10:30

CANdYRAT Guitar Night

Sharon Little

M A Y 2 6 - J U N E 1 , 2 0 1 1 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

with Gareth Pearson, Ewan Dobson, Craig Dâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Andrea & Peter Ciluzzi

Writing Contest poetry judge fame. No complete sentences in this whole little article! Am I a poet now? Oh damn.

[ poetry ]

tix and info: 215.928.0978 . www.tinangel.com 20 south 2nd street, phila

60 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

Taransky of Kelly Writers House/Whenever We Feel Like It reading series/City Paper

Katie Barbato

â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Patrick Rapa Tue., May 31, 7 p.m., free, Moonstone Arts Center, 110A S. 13th St., 215-7359598, moonstoneartscenter.org.

WEDNESDAY

6.01 [ comedy ]

THE WAITSTAFF While Bravoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been obsessed with the table-ďŹ&#x201A;ipping,

99H B@:BF== ;f^j# Yli^\ij# Z_`Zb\e# YlZb\k f] Y\\ij# ]ifq\e dXi^Xi`kXj# fli ]Xdflj g\eep [i`ebj [iX]kj Xe[ dfi\

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FRI 6/3 7:30

FRI 6/3 10:30

Laura Cantrell

Jeffrey Gaines

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SUN 6/5 7:30 WXPN Welcomes

WED 6/8 8:00

Jen Creed

Sloan Wainwright

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with Special Guests Reade McCardell, Turner Adams

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with Matt Santry SAT 6/11 7:30

WED 6/15 8:00

Carsie Blanton Adrien Reju

Agnes Obel Mia Doi Todd

INTERNATIONAL COMFORT FOOD ECLECTIC AND INTIMATE WITH A TINGE OF ROMANCE FOR 26 YEARS

Wed., June 1, 8 p.m., $15-$22, Helium Comedy Club, 2031 Sansom St., 215496-9001, thewaitstaff.com.

[ rokk/pop/electronic ]

FREEZEPOP Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s probably no band better suited to cover the Jem theme than longtime Boston synthpoppers Freezepop. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not just the blissed out anthe-

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Big Sandy & His Fly-Rite Boys

Ian McLagan

Wed., June 1, 9 p.m., $10-$13, with Instamatic and Mean, North Star Bar, 2639 Poplar St., 877-435-9849, northstarbar.com.

D\dfi`Xc N\\b\e[ Ă&#x160;((

Julia Read

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23RD & WALNUT

Chris Pureka

FRI 6/10 7:30 WXPN Welcomes

mic parts, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re just as suited for the gooďŹ ly dark â&#x20AC;&#x153;We are the MisďŹ ts/ Our songs are betterâ&#x20AC;? bridges. Liz Enthusiasm and co. â&#x20AC;&#x201D; whose music has turned up in Guitar Hero, Dance Dance Revolution and a bunch of other curious places â&#x20AC;&#x201D; might come off a little goofy sometimes. But if you canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t dance to â&#x20AC;&#x153;Get Ready 2 Rokkâ&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;Less Talk More Rokk,â&#x20AC;? then you are the misďŹ t.

ROOSEVELTS

THU 6/2 8:00

THU 6/9 8:00

[ the agenda ]

â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Emily Apisa

WED 6/1 8:00

Diana Jones

Botox-injected ladies of The Real Housewives of (insert city/county/state here), Phillybased sketch comedy troupe The Waitstaff has been busy perfecting its own localized version of the series. Making their second appearance at Helium Comedy Club, The Real Housewives of South Philly are back, witâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Whiz. Three-year Waitstaff veteran Eric Singel says these caricatured versions of South Philly housewives make for one of the troupeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most successful sketches. â&#x20AC;&#x153;If itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s poking fun, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s gentle fun,â&#x20AC;? Singel says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not putting people down.â&#x20AC;? So if the ladies go heavy on the â&#x20AC;&#x153;youse guys,â&#x20AC;? donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be offended â&#x20AC;&#x201D; imitation is the highest form of ďŹ&#x201A;attery.

THU

HAPPY HOUR PROMO Monday â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Friday 5pm â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 7pm $6 Svedka Cocktails $6 House Wines $6 Champagne Cocktails $3 Domestics

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SATURDAY House Music on the Main Floor Hip Hop on The Roof

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Tues, May 31st 8pm, No Cover SMILE, New Record Party w/ Wil H & Steady Eddie and Friendsspinning,BLUES & RHYTHM,ROCK & ROLL,PSYCH,GARAGE,SURF & SOUL Drink Specials 8-11pm

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Mon, May 30th, 8:30pm PBR’S ROCK,PAPER,SCISSORS TOURNAMENT, $4 16oz PBR & Jim Beam Special during the game!

THURSDAY Wired 96.5 on the Main Floor House Music on The Roof Thursday Birthday - bottle of champagne and cake on the house!

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Open everyday 5p-2a Kitchen Open All Night Happy Hour Everyday 5p-7p

SUNDAY 5/29 SUNDAE PM

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MONDAY Latin Night/Free Lessons On the Main Floor Mixed Music on The Roof

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TUESDAY 5/31

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WEDNESDAY Continuation of Center City Sips 5p-7p Hip Hop on the Roof & Main Floor

WEDNESDAY 6/1 SESSION (REGGAE NIGHT) SOLOMONIC SOUND ITAL SOUND RASCUL INT’L

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62 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

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foodanddrink

portioncontrol

By Drew Lazor

HUNGOVERUNDER ➤ MILTON CRAWFORD, an Englishman who defines himself as an “amateur chef and professional boozer,” takes the six hangover classifications named in P.D. Wodehouse’s 1949 novel The Mating Season and lines a gaggle of dishes behind each in The Hungover Cookbook (Clarkson Potter, May 31) — plates he believes will help you slog through the last-night’s-whiskey muck. They’re not just brunch-type dishes, either, and each is rated on star scales gauging time and difficulty. The one-star tahini and tomato toast? “So easy that an agonizing headache and nausea will be no impediment.” A four- or five-star dish, meanwhile:“Loss of coordination, balance and will to live might make this recipe almost impossible; consider getting help.”

“The Broken Compass” is a “distinctly psychological” hangover — the author prescribes bold ethnic dishes, like a super-easy, single-pan shakshuka, the tomato and runny egg stew spiced with cumin, smoked paprika and jalapeño. “The Atomic” is a hangover characterized by near-crippling hunger — Crawford’s recipe picks here are meat-heavy, like a breakfast burger that calls for patties of fatty sausage in lieu of ground beef; grill them in a pan and throw them on toasted English muffins, with an egg if you drank past last call.

To combat the most terrifying hangover, “The Gremlin Boogie” (“It is a living nightmare”), the author recommends clean, healthy fare — think a melon salad, or a traditional Japanese breakfast that involves the manipulation of dashi, white miso paste and pickled daikon radish (four-star difficulty!).

Which brings me to my only real gripe with The Hungover Cookbook. While I agree with Crawford’s assertion that a hangover is best blasted with “action over inaction [and] positive thinking over maudlin self-pity,” there are tasks in this book that I just don’t see a severely hungover person being able to accomplish. See the kedgeree, an Indian-spiced smoked fish, rice and boiled egg dish popular in the U.K. — I found Crawford’s recipe delicious, but it took me close to an hour from start to finish, and I juggled far more pots, pans and utensils than I could ever keep track of in a still-kinda-drunk stupor.

Then there’s the food processor required to blend onion, ketchup,Worcestershire and paprika together to make a binder for the previously mentioned breakfast burgers. I was (mostly) sober when I made this, so I didn’t mind the racket — but imagine what such mechanized whirring might do to your brain if you were deep into an Atomic or Gremlin Boogie. (drew.lazor@citypaper.net)

THAI GAME: Erawan’s curries (the green curry with beef is pictured on the right) are tops, but you should also order appetizers like the golden bags, fried-and-tied dumplings stuffed with ground chicken and shrimp.

MARK STEHLE

[ review ]

THE ELEPHANT SHOW Center City’s Erawan Thai Cuisine stampedes into Chinatown with a second homey location.

By Adam Erace ERAWAN THAI CUISINE | 925 Arch St., 215-922-7135, erawanchinatown.com. Lunch Tue.-Sun., 11:30 a.m.-3 p.m.; dinner Tue.-Thu., 4-10 p.m.; Fri.-Sat., 4-10:30 p.m.; closed Mon. Appetizers, $4.50-$10.95; entrées, $11.95$21.95; desserts, $4.95-$6.95. BYOB.

ccording to Hindu myth, 16 elephants sprang from a broken eggshell when Brahma, the god of creation, sang sacred hymns above it. Among the divine pachyderms was three-headed Erawan, whom mack-daddy deity Indra saddled up as his perMore on: sonal ride. Lots of extra trunk space.

Erawan is also the name and mascot of a little Thai restaurant you might know on 23rd just above Walnut. Husband and wife V and Laddavanh Pongdara — he’s from Thailand, she’s from Laos — took over the cute-asa-banyan curry house in 2007, a year after coming to Philly from D.C. (the location’s been a Thai restaurant since the early ’70s), but Erawan feels like it’s been there forever. Maybe because its following is as hardcore as the Eagles’, consistently mentioned on the short lists of top Thais in town.

In April, the Pongdaras parlayed that success into a second loca-

A

citypaper.net

tion at 10th and Arch — working backward, beginning in farangfriendly Rittenhouse, then coming to the longtime heart of Philly’s Asian community.

Forget it, Jake, it’s Chinatown, you might say, but not so fast — there’s plenty of Americanized slop to go around in this district, but Erawan gives winners such as Shiao Lan Kung, Nan Zhou and Banana Leaf a new neighbor that can hang.

“The first [Erawan] has a wide range of customers,” Laddavanh explained. “A lot from Chinatown. We [opened the second location] because we wanted to serve our customers on this side of the city as well.”

With a team of cooks, V runs the kitchens at the Erawan twins, turning out a typically massive menu (80-plus items!) of streetfood bites, salads, curries, noodles and more. Before coming to Philly, he worked in restaurants in D.C. for eight years. When I asked Laddavanh if she also has a backMORE FOOD AND ground in food, she replied: “I have a backDRINK COVERAGE ground in food tasting. I’m good at that AT C I T Y P A P E R . N E T / one.”

I love this lady.

M E A LT I C K E T. But I didn’t love her and V’s po tak, a sort of Thai bouillabaisse featuring overcooked scallops (as well as perfectly cooked shrimp, scored squid tubes and sweet, green-lipped New Zealand mussels) in a sludgy shrimp paste/oyster sauce/soy gravy. The sauce was just too savory (too-mami?) — strange, considering Thai cooking, at its core, is about balancing the sensations of hot, sweet, sour and salty. In this dish, the first three were M.I.A., all bound and gagged in salty’s basement.

I feel bad, because the po tak is Laddavanh’s favorite — though >>> continued on adjacent page

<<< continued from previous page

Erawanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s curries are as well-balanced as a high-wire artist. Which begs the question, which to order?

Private Parties both Large and Small On and Off Premise Catering BYOB

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TUESDAY â&#x20AC;&#x201C; WEDNESDAY 4:30 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 10:00

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518 South 3rd Street Phila. Pa 267-519-9498

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during our interview, she made an identical pronouncement about at least four other items. Like I said, I love this lady.

Slight and stylishly dressed, she floats around the restaurants greeting guests. Laddavanh is radiant, or maybe itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just the restaurantâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s tangerine walls.

Backing her up are a tribunal of gracious pixies that live up to what author and American expat Jerry Hopkins tells Anthony Bourdain in the Thailand episode of No Reservations: â&#x20AC;&#x153;[The Thai] are as friendly as the tourism authority says.â&#x20AC;?

Yeah, your server might bring you Thai salad instead of the Thai sausage you requested â&#x20AC;&#x201D; it proved a happy accident, tossed in a comfy, creamy peanut-and-coconut dressing that takes an hour to blend by hand â&#x20AC;&#x201D; or a forgettable stir-fried shrimp and broccoli you didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t order at all, but sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be as sweet as the Thai iced tea, whose straw wrappers, fittingly, come twisted into little paper hearts.

Dumplings, on the other hand, come twisted into lotus blossoms filled with fragrant curried chicken or elegant satchels cinched with threads of pandan leaf.

The latter are called golden bags, a popular homage to the Pongdarasâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; grandparentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; generation, who used to bundle their treasure and money in garments and carry them around on sticks, according to Laddavanh. Sounds exhausting. The deep-fried purses popped open on contact, spilling their contents: ground chicken, ground shrimp, cilantro root and other family secrets no one shares. They were moist and gingery; I was happy to shut up and eat.

And keep eating. Aside from the lackluster shrimp/ broccoli sitch and the po tak, everything else Erawan delivered really delivered: fat shrimp in nests of refreshing silver noodles tossed with celery, cilantro, red onion and sharp drops of fish sauce; garlicky, lemongrass-andlime-leaf-scented pad prik king, full of green beans that crunched like water chestnuts; a dazzling beef salad whose bold strokes of lime, mint and chili made it easy to overlook the errant unchewables lurking among the strips of tender flank.

Even though theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re based on store-bought pastes (drag), Erawanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s curries are as well-balanced as a highwire artist. Shrimp suits the feisty yellow curry just fine, but I loved it with chicken, too. Got to be beef for the green curry; the meatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s umami enriches the cool, coconutty jade jus just so. Which begs the question, which to order? Green or yellow, green or yellow? You know what it is: Both, ladled over Alps of fluffy rice.

For dessert, think iced coffee like velvet and sesame sticky rice with mango â&#x20AC;&#x201D; noteworthy because the notoriously fickle fruit was perfectly ripe. Sweet but not sickly, tangy but not astringent. Laddavanh will honor requests for this dessert only when the mango is right. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I tell [the servers], if you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t feel confident about it, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t serve it,â&#x20AC;? she says. Words every restaurant should live by. (adam.erace@citypaper.net)

Celebrating our One-year anniversary

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The Elephant Show

y Cuisine ou ntr

on Wednesdays One of Philly Magâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

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[ food & drink ]

WHATâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S COOKING

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[ the week in eats ]

LUNCH SPECIAL 2 ROLLS $8.50, 3 ROLLS $11.50

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HAPPY HOUR Monday-Friday 4:30-7pm $3 Beer, $5 Wine, Sake & cocktails plus ½ price appetizers

ALL YOU CAN EAT SUSHI SPECIAL 7 Days A Week

California Pinot Noir Class at Tria Fri., May 27, 6:30-8

p.m., $100 â&#x17E;¤ Triaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Master Class series showcases treasured bottles uncorked from private stocks. This week, collector Thomas Groff is sharing rare vintages of classic Pinot Noir, all from California, to see how they match up to big Burgundies. Taste the years 1989 through 1991 from winemakers such as Carneros Creek, Rochioli, Au Bon Climat and Byron. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll serve artisan cheeses and light fare with the vino. Tria Fermentation School, 1601 Walnut St., 215-972-7076, triacafe.com.

Gluten-free and Vegan Demo Class at La Cucina

citypaper.net [ IN WITH THE NEW ]

FULL MENU AVAILABLE Mon-Thu: 11:30am â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 10:30pm Fri- Sat: 11:30am â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 12am Sunday: 12noon â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 10:30pm We Deliver . Visit us at Akiphilly.com

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M A Y 2 6 - J U N E 1 , 2 0 1 1 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

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Thu., June 2, 5:45-7:45 p.m., $30 â&#x17E;¤ Genevieve Sherrow, founder of nutritional educative program Gluten-free Warrior, has teamed up with La Cucina to demonstrate how to cook gluten-free with ease. Next weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s demo focuses on preparing meals that cost less than $20 and take less than 30 minutes to prepare. Sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll cook dishes like curried carrots and chickpeas; and quinoa with zucchini and mushroom. Registration required. La Cucina, Reading Terminal Market, 51 N. 12th St., 215-922-1170, lacucinaatthemarket.com.

Charity Burger-Eating Contest at Kildareâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Tue., May 31, 8 p.m., $20 (free to watch) â&#x17E;¤ Manayunkâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Kildareâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s is hosting its first-ever burger-eating contest next week, benefitting the Childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Tumor Foundation.

Contestants who pay a $20 entry fee (half will go to charity) take on eating as many European Union burgers as they can (10-ounce beef patty, bacon, cheddar, Swiss, a fried egg and lettuce/tomato/onion) in a half-hour. The winner gets a free burger every Tuesday for a year. Call Kildareâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s or email man@kildarespub.com to register.

Kildareâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, 4417 Main St., 215-482-7242, kildarespub.com.

Philadelphia Burger Brawl Sat., June 4, 2-6 p.m., $60

â&#x17E;¤ Philly all-stars will compete next weekend to see who makes the cityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s best burger. Host Rouge will compete with Pub & Kitchen, Good Dog, N. 3rd, Barbuzzo, Butcher & Singer and Adsum, among others; judges include TV personality/producer Marc Summers, former Gov. Ed Rendell and Good Day Philadelphiaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Mike Jerrick. The competition aims to raise $40K to revamp William M. Meredith Elementaryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s computer lab. Reservations are a must.

William M. Meredith Elementary School, 725 S. Fifth St., 215-732-6622, philadelphia-burger-brawl.ticketleap.com. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Laurel Rose Purdy

MIDDLE EASTERN & LEBANESE CUISINE SINCE 1986

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â&#x17E;¤ NOW SEATING Rotisseur | Partners Aaron Matzkin and Dean Kitagawa launched their spittinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;-image rotisserie joint, Rotisseur, last week. Serving cage-, hormone- and antibiotic-free birds from nearby Lancaster County (the plan is to move into more meats down the line), the casual, mostly takeout joint boasts a menu almost entirely under $10 (whole chickens are $14). Hot and cold sides (mac â&#x20AC;&#x2122;nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; cheese, corn muffins, kale chips, watermelon salad, etc.) rotate regularly. Currently Rotisseur is open for dinner only, Monday to Saturday; regular lunch hours start in the next few weeks. 105 S. 21st St., 215-496-9494.

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Burger.Org, Eyal Aranya and Yoni Nadavâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s new South Street burger joint. Turkey, chicken, fish and fully vegetarian options join traditional beef burgers on the affordable menu (topping out at $9.99); fries, smoothies and shakes round out the offerings. Customize your own burger, or order up a house specialty like â&#x20AC;&#x153;El Mariachiâ&#x20AC;? (any burger topped with pico de gallo, guacamole, raw onion, tomato, lettuce and chipotle). All burgers are served on fresh buns from Michael Dolichâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Four Worlds Bakery in West Philly. Hours: Sun.-Wed., 10 a.m.-11 p.m.; Thu.-Sat., 10 a.m.-3 a.m. 326 South St., 267-639-3425.

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Strange Brew Coffee | Bobby Dombrowskiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s new Pennsport coffee house, Strange Brew, serves North Carolinaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Counter Culture coffee to the Two Street crowd and beyond. Dombrowski, an audio engineer who grew up just a few blocks south, has decorated his shop with plenty of comfy nooks and collectible vinyl toys; look out for a line of light Le Bus sandwiches, plus art openings and open-mic nights, to be introduced in the coming weeks. Hours are 6:30 a.m. to 7 p.m. weekdays, with slightly later opening times on weekends. 1321 S. Second St., 215-300-6216, facebook.com/strangebrew215.

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gracetavern.com

616 S. 2nd Street 215.925.4950 www.cedarsrestaurant.com

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26

27 31

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complete our family. Expenses paid. Legal and confidential.

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ADOPTION

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jonesin’

22

ADOPTION

ADOPT: ACTIVE, YOUNG and SECURE couple seeks bundle of joy to love unconditionally, cherish forever and

ANNOUNCEMENTS/NOTICES

Need immediate access to PA Newspapers and their key personnel? The 2011 PNA Directory is available online: annual fee of $100 plus tax- or hard copy: $50 plus tax & shipping.

Contact: KristinB@pa-news. org or call 717-703-3069.

COLLECTIBLES/ WANTED

CASH BUYER, Pre-1980

Comic Books, Toys, Sports, ANYTHING. I travel to you and Buy EVERYTHING YOU HAVE. Call Brian at 1-800473-2407.

available. Financial Aid if qualified. Call 888-220-3984 www.CenturaOnline.com.

Home Services

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YOUR WISH IS YOUR COMMAND!

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L o v i n g , h a p p y, o p e n , friendly, kind couple promise limitless love, stability, time and support for newborn. Expenses paid. Legal.

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Health Services Business Services ORGANIC SOAPS AND MORE

ATTEND COLLEGE ONLINE

from Home. *Medical *Business *Paralegal *Computers *Criminal Justice. Job placement assistance. Computer

Get healthier look, feel better with organic personal hygiene products available at www.SalamandraNaturals. net. Enjoy!

Wayne’s World A BETTER WAY TO MOVE

24 Hr. 215-669-3415

Piano Specialist! Great Rates!

GENTLY MOVING YOUR EARTHLY POSSESSIONS

LAST MINUTE JOBS ALWAYS AVAILABLE

ACROSS 1 5 9

74 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

M A Y 2 6 - J U N E 1 , 2 0 1 1 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

13 14 15 16 18 19 20 22 23 29 30 31 32 34 38 40 42 43 45 47 48 50 52 56 57

Kickstart a battery Lick “Going Back to ___” (LL Cool J single) Early Peruvian “Shepherd Moons” singer Sleeps lightly Back-of-the-book section where Boston is located?

Like some rights or pay Blasting stick “___ for Cookie, that’s good enough for me...”

Abbr. on a food label Approve of a Bond Doctor’s evildoings on Facebook? ___ of Two Cities Student helpers King, in Cancun Paper bundle Play by the rules Jeep-financing co.

Store you go to “for all your pod-based needs”?

Do the laundry Alaska Airlines logo feature Quaintly formal letter opening Best Picture nominee starring Jamie Foxx Highbrow film director Tournament type On a shortage of know-how?

Former “World Series of Poker” champ Ungar Nile biter

58 It’s small and strummable 59 Uses as a source 61 What Sgt. Schultz really knew (but would never admit) on Hogan’s Heroes?

67 Integra maker 68 Kelly of TV talk 69 Otherwise 70 Tabula ___ 71 Comet’s trailer 72 Rib in a bedframe

DOWN 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 15 17 21 23 24 25 26 27 28

Comedian Gaffigan One, to Juana They take the mic 1980s shade Square meal?

Defensive position “Sure thing,” in Scotland Savings from the IRS, maybe ___ au vin As blue as the sky Job search hits Ibiza and Minorca, for example Craving Word before child or circle Curve on a weather map Fries size Grocery checkout count Boat that goes back and forth?

Ninja projectile Improves, like airplane seating Like vulgar videos at your day job, for short 33 Goes overboard with the acting

©2011 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com)

35 Producer Spelling or Sorkin 36 Bartender on The Love Boat 37 Write lyrics, often 39 “Bye, bambino” 41 Ireland, in Ireland 44 Scar’s nemesis, in The Lion King 46 Like some dog collars 49 Know-it-all 51 Big name in candy cups 52 Nunez of The Office 53 NY city on the Mohawk 54 Hippos’ garb in Fantasia 55 Out in farm country 60 Major time period 62 By means of 63 Prefix for phenomenon 64 “ ___ buy that for a dollar” 65 Hush-hush govt. agency 66 Understand

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jobs

HELP WANTED

Help Wanted A TRAVEL JOB

Now Hiring; No Experience Necessary. Will train. Must be 18+ and free to travel. Apply @ www.startsalesjobtoday.com or call 800-896-6723 AIRLINES ARE HIRING:

HELP WANTED

International Cultural Exchange Representative: Earn supplemental income placing and supervising high school exchange students.

Volunteer host families also needed. Promote world peace! 1-866-GO-AFICE or www.aďŹ ce.org.

HELP WANTED

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LAND AND SALE

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HELP WANTED DRIVER

Drivers- 10 Owner Operators Needed ASAP! HOME EVERY WEEKEND! Average $1.70/Mile. Steady, Year-Round Work. Requires CDL-A, 2 Years Experience.

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real estate

HELP WANTED DRIVER

Driver-Experienced OTR Drivers. Up to $3000 BONUS. Call for Details. Up to $.50 Per Mile. Regional Lanes/ Home Weekly 888-463-3962 NO EXPERIENCE? Call 866753-6417. 6 mo. OTR exp. & current CDL www.usatruck. jobs. eoe m/f/h/v

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Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary!

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HELP WANTED

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rentals

REAL ESTATE FOR RENT

15th/ Spruce: Beautiful Art Deco High-rise 1Bdrm Apt, Attendant, HW Flrs, Updated Kitchen, Onsite laundry Intercom Entr y, Amazing Location! From $1120/Mo. 215-735-8030 REAL ESTATE FOR RENT

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SHAFFER TRUCKING PAY INCREASE! .42-45/mile Starting Driver Pay! Dedicated Opportunities, Home Weekly Fleets. Top CSA Scores. CALL 800-669-0322 Or Apply Online at www.

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location! Desk Attendant, HW Flrs, Onsite Laundry, Decorative Moldings, Wonderful City Views. $990/Mo. Avail July. 215-735-8030 Lic #219789

Homes for Sale HOMES FOR SALE

Active Adult Community (55 Plus) in Beautiful, Historic Smyrna, Delaware. New Single Home Development near beaches and bay areas. Purchase prices from $99,900.

CALL 302-659-5800. Visit www.bonayrehomes.com

2 STORES/ 2 APTS FOR RENT

Apartments for Rent REAL ESTATE FOR RENT

15th/ Spruce: TerriďŹ c Studio in Art Deco Hi-rise, Great

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Homes

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4XX HOFFMAN

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BACKYARD, BASEMENT, AVAILABLE IMMEDIATELY. $875 A MONTH + UTILITIES CLOSE TO CENTER CITY & OLD CITY. 610246-2444.

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Massage, Facials, Waxing, Make-up, Permanent Make-up, Sensitive Skin Treatment.

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215-351-0712 132 N. 10th St. Philadelphia, PA

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classifieds

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the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

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food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

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76 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

M A Y 2 6 - J U N E 1 , 2 0 1 1 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

Please be aware Possession of exotic/wild animals may be restricted in some areas.

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Who is Soweto Kinch? He is a Birmingham-raised, Oxfordeducated saxophonist-composer and MC â&#x20AC;&#x201C; considered one of the most exciting and versatile young musicians in both the British jazz and hip-hop scenes. His ability to unify such diverse influences as Charlie Parker, Madlib, Ornette Coleman, Stevie Wonder and Duke Ellington with high energy and polished style is bar none marked by a Mercury nomination, UMA awards, and MOBO awards. By the axe he outshines the likes of Wynton Marsalis, on the mic he collects props from the likes of KRS ONE and Mos Def. Four years following A Life in the Day of B19: Tales Of The Towerblock called, â&#x20AC;&#x153;the most convincing and accomplished unions of hip-hop and jazz to dateâ&#x20AC;? by Charles Waring, Soweto re-emerges on the international music scene with The New Emancipation (Soweto Kinch Records, 2010). Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t miss his rare US performance at the Bride.

Saturday, June 11th, 8pm www.paintedbride.org

PREVENT EXCESSIVE FORCE BOUNCER / SECURITY TRAINING www.modernkenjutsu.com/ SecurityTraining.php

WEEKDAYS 5-7PM

17 Rotating Drafts Close to 200 Bottles

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5-7pm nightly [ Items priced from $2 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; $6 ea. ]

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SPRING TUNE UP SPECIAL $35 plus tax VOLPE CYCLES 115 S. 22nd Street 8am-9pm Mon-Fri, 9am-6pm Sat-Sun May not be combined with other offers.

Visit www.volpecycles.com for details.

The Waitstaff Sketch Comedy Troupe Presents The Return of The Real Housewives of South Philly 1 Night only at Helium Comedy Club June 1st at 8pm - tickets are $15 www.thewaitstaff.com

Rock-N-Rods Returns to Dela-Weird!

Sun May 29, 10-4, $5 Car Show/ Collectible - Vintage Sale Live Music: Bullets/ CofďŹ n Fly Nurshrine Temple: 198 South Dupont Hwy Rt. 13, New Castle, De 19720 www.HotRodHoeDown.com

R&B Fridays at the New Palladium Live R&B Bands:

5/27: The Temptations Review Featuring Dennis Edwards R&B Acts looking for bookings call now: 215-222-7127

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DAILY EVENTS: 6/03 6/04 6/05 6/06 6/07 6/08 6/09 6/10 6/11 6/12

Yards Firkin Faceoff 6pm Surf Rock Tunes & West Coast Brews 8pm Ballast Point Tap Takeover 5pm Flights & Finger Foods with Coronado Brewing Co. 5pm Musical Taps 8pm Beer Week Hump Day Musical Taps 8pm Huge Beer Event 5pm Fegleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Brew Works BBQ 4-10pm Bring your Own Vinyl/Kegs & Eggs

KI OPETNCHEN LATE 501 North 13th St. | 215.238.1818 | theprohibitiontaproom.com