Philippine Collegian Issue 31-32

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UP seeks P18.4-B budget for 2013 —Page 4 Philippine Collegian Opisyal na lingguhang pahayagan ng mga mag-aaral ng Unibersidad ng Pilipinas - Diliman 03 Mayo 2012 Tomo 89, Blg. 31-32

Parting words Terminal Cases Delfin Mercado

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Lubid ng panlilinlang Editoryal

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Dibuho ni Nico Villarete

Biyaheng Recto

Power outrage

Summer blockbuster

Grapix Pahina 8-9

Features Page 11

Kultura Page 12

hese days, I always find myself at a loss for words. Like the time you walked passed me during the university graduation, the strange curls of your hair bouncing as you skipped happily towards your family. Finally, you graduated. You were the last of my original batchmates in UP. Now, I think, it’s just me that’s left behind. And there was the time when I checked my grades online on April Fools’ Day, the Nyan Cat seemingly mocking my INCs and my DRPs. Well, there’s always next year, I told myself. But already I have doubts. This summer, I tried one job after another, going from Ayala to Global City to apply for various odd jobs. I got most jobs I applied for, but at the end of the day, after a beer or two, I’ll successfully convince myself that I should not continue the job offer, because I’ll grow tired of it someday anyway. And in every job offer I defer, a gnawing feeling of guilt and emptiness enters me. I just cannot understand why I cannot seem to accept the idea of conforming to any kind of system. My yearning for randomness has reached its peak. I am no anarchist, but I fear that I might have certain tendencies. I am at loss for words, even for this column. Looking back, I want to take back all the randomness that I’ve written, the self-indulgent words that filled this space for almost a year. I still remember the time when I was first offered the spot on the paper. In hindsight, I shouldn’t have taken it after all. Such a waste of space. The column could have served a higher purpose if it was offered to any other writer. In the end, all we have left are regrets. Regrets for things that could have been and should have been. What if I tried to focus more on finishing my degree? What if I dedicated this column for a marginalized sector? What if I was less cynical? What if I never met you? Everything would have been different. In the end, there are no surprises, just regrets and questions that we ourselves have already anticipated. As I pack the things that I have accumulated in the Collegian office – a toothbrush, some pairs of shoes, and some shirts, I realized that failure only comes to those who stop and do nothing. For if we continue, failures are nothing but minute pauses in time. I realized that for so long, this has been what I was doing wrong – I was always stuck with the past, half-thinking that something would gradually change if I let everything be. I drifted into nothingness, and here I am, still stuck in the same old road. Next year, I’ll enroll a few more subjects, join a new organization, and find a girl or two. I’ll start anew, this time on a more positive note. Next year, someone more able than me would occupy this space. I don’t know what he or she will become – a cynic, a critic, an artist? But as I go, I want to leave these parting words: struggle to continue, every single day. ●

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