Annabelle still hadn’t seen Hattie and Emily yet but had been in contact with them. I told her we would wait for her in the Big 5 parking lot. Jake’s phone battery was quickly dwindling as we were looking up more news on his phone. Helicopters were flying. Cop car lights flashing. There was a lot of silence and occasionally Jake would throw in a joke. Hattie and Emily were escorted out, along with everyone who was hiding in the bathroom, to be joined with Annabelle by the cop cars. People from my staff group offered to come pick us up and DPS officers asked if we needed rides home. But I told them to hold off until we were reunited with the rest of our group. We waited in the parking lot for at least an hour — still had no idea who the shooter was or if he was still in the building. We still had not heard from one Pepperdine student out of the 17 who were at Borderline. I cannot recall how many times we had to confirm that number for Pepperdine officials and for some reason, I could not remember Janie’s name and I felt awful asking her for her name at least three times. While we were waiting in the parking lot, I saw two of my friends, Kayiu and Araceli, park their car and rush over to the scene with their video camera to report on the situation. I hugged both of them real tight before they walked over. More questions popped up on my phone. Not as many answers. It was 1 a.m. Annabelle told me a cop would escort them to the Big 5 parking lot to meet us. I looked up every time a car came by hoping that it was them. Twenty minutes passed before a cop came by and parked behind our car. We all rushed out of the car to hug each other. No words. Just teary eyes. I decided to drive my car back and my dad said he would drive the others, since Annabelle’s car was still in the parking lot. I unlocked my car, and Tanner, Hannah Kate and Jake piled in. Tanner laughed at the pie, still sitting in the backseat, still sticky, still a pie in the
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midst of everything. I can’t remember when I heard bits and pieces of everyone’s stories. About how Tanner ran out the back exit from the kitchen and went back for Hannah Kate. About how they hid behind a car and heard more gunshots so they continued to run into the woods and did not stop until they reached the complex. About how Tanner saw me running to my car. About how Jake had a gun pointed at him a number of times before finding safety. Jake had ran in this neighborhood. He encountered an old lady who let him into her house and shortly after asked him to leave. He knocked on the door of a man who did not let him in because he had a daughter and pointed a gun right at him. He unlocked his truck for Jake to lay in. Jake heard cars going by on the street, fearing they were still looking for the shooter. It was not until the girl came to the house and explained there had been a shooting that the man also brought Jake in and apologized for not believing him earlier. We pulled into Smothers parking lot. My dad got out of the car to hug me goodnight before driving back home. The rest of us walked across the music building and into the HAWC. Jessie and Payton were at the doors, hugging us as we walked in. Andrew was also there. We walked up the stairs to see a counselor and some others. I will never forget the HAWC worker bringing out chocolate muffins and coffee and seeing the applesauce and bottles of water on the side. We all took turns going to the bathroom because who knows the last time we went. We didn’t sit for long before we decided that we wanted to go back. We thanked them for being there and we started to go down the stairs, down the hill and onto Lower Dorm road. When we got to Knott, Jake asked to pray. So we huddled up in the middle of the road and he led us in prayer. I decided to walk them to Eaton, where we all went into the lobby. Hattie
wanted to go back to her room but decided against it when she did not want to be alone. Jaime was waiting for us with Blake, making the couches into a circle and bringing his first aid kit down to us. We talked a bit more. I remember Jaime sitting there and just listening. Jake had to take a phone call and Annabelle and I were processing through some things. It was the first time I noticed how long a scar was on my thigh and traced my finger down it. The adrenaline was fading and my body started to feel tired. I walked back to Knott, noticing the darkness of the short walk more than times before. I tried to open my door and get in bed as quietly as possible. I grabbed my laptop to sit in bed and read through the news. My roommate woke up at that time and asked what I was still doing up. I said, “There was a shooting at Borderline.” She jumped out of her bed and hopped onto mine to just hold me in her arms. She sat there with me, reading with me as a scrolled through a world that I could not believe I was a part of. It was almost 5 a.m., when I closed my laptop and tried to get some sleep. With sunlight peeking in a couple hours later, I woke up to my phone vibrating. If it were not for all the texts and calls, I could have been convinced that the night before was all a long dream. My sister sent me a letter, apologizing that it would take something like this to happen for her to tell me she loves me. Everyone from people I had not talked to since high school graduation to my closest mentors were reaching out, and I did not know how to even pick up the phone from people I was close to or how to answer the question “Are you OK?” The last time I had spoken on the phone was to update Pepperdine officials or find my friends. I remembered seeing there would be a prayer service at noon. I buried my face in my pillow and cried. I silenced my phone and tried to sleep a little longer, waking up too late for the prayer service. Annabelle came over shortly after
