February 7, 2024 - Pittsburgh City Paper

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Tied

Shibari can bring pleasure, pain, connection, and surprises BY JESSE SAGE // INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM


IN THIS WEEK’S ISSUE: LOVE & SEX 04 Shibari, or rope bondage, can bring

pleasure, pain, connection, and surprises

MUSIC 12 The Moon Baby talks Valentine’s Day,

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LOVE + SEX

“WHEN I’M BEING TIED, I FEEL THE RESTRICTION AND IT’S REALLY CALMING AND COMFORTING. IT’S A PROLONGED SENSATION THAT IS JUST WHAT I DESIRE.”

FIT TO BE TIED Shibari can bring pleasure, pain, connection, and surprises

PHOTO: PJ PATELLA-REY

Jessie Sage being tied by rigger Melissa Milk

BY JESSIE SAGE // INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

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ne of the great pleasures of my work — as both a sex writer and a sex worker — has been the close proximity I’ve been granted to other peoples’ desires, things that I would have never thought to explore or find erotic on my own. Hundreds (perhaps thousands) of hours on phone sex lines, interviewing sex radicals, and performing a vast array of fantasies for clients has shown me that sex can take as many forms as we can imagine. Several weeks ago, when my editor asked me if I was interested in writing this piece about Shibari — the decorative art of rope bondage that originally came out of Japan, but has also made its way into American BDSM circles — I

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was reminded of how varied sexual desire and satisfaction is. Though I have seen live rope demonstrations, have friends who engage in Shibari, and have talked clients through the aftermath of being bound, I never personally understood why anyone would take the time to learn how to tie rope intricately or sit still long enough to be bound by it. “I have too much ADHD to be able to do that myself,” I told her. “But I’ll interview people who are into it.” I am not the only person who didn’t immediately understand the appeal of rope bondage. Even someone deep in the rope scene, like Russ (he/ him), the founder of Rope Bite Pgh, a Pittsburgh-based group dedicated

to sharing educational information and community around rope bondage, was perplexed by it at first. “I’d always been interested in kink, but I didn’t understand rope when you could just slap on a leather cuff and get to whatever else you’re doing,” he tells me over Zoom. Indeed, this was my question, too. How patient do you have to be to sit through an elaborate rope-tying ritual before getting to the “whatever else" ? But to think this way is to entirely miss the point of Shibari, which, in Japanese, means “to tie.” In traditional Shibari practice, tying is its own end, and the pleasure, pain, and beauty are found in the practice itself, not in whatever happens once the rope

bottom (the person being tied) has been securely bound. Christophe Ngo (he/ him), a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) specializing in sex therapy, trauma, and identity encountered Shibari the first time he went to a dungeon. He remembers being fascinated by it. After a live demonstration by a husband and wife team, he went up to the couple and asked, “So help me understand Shibari. What do you both gain from this?” The wife — the rope bottom in this context — described herself to Ngo as dominant in every other aspect of her life and said that, because her job is high profile and high stress, she has a hard time letting go. She explained,


PHOTO: PJ PATELLA-REY

Jessie Sage practicing shibari with rigger Melissa Milk

“When I’m being suspended [hung with rope, a common practice in Shibari] or tied up, the more I resist, the harder it gets.” In other words, the rules that govern the rest of her life don’t work when she’s rope bottoming; the more she tries to remain in control, the more uncomfortable the process is. She is forced to let go. “Because she lets go, she can enjoy,” Ngo says. Since that first introduction to Shibari, Ngo has had similar experiences as a rope bottom. He says, “It’s nice when I get to be a pillow princess and someone’s doing it for me and I’m just going to relax, and focus on the rope.” He describes this experience as

having a therapeutic quality. He says, “It doesn’t have to involve [sexual] stimulus or anything. You just have to be present to the sensation and allow the body to relax, it can heal itself in the process.”

some of their control in the form of play. Indeed, my clients who hunger for submission are often the ones who wield the most power outside of our dynamic. But this is not the only story.

"IN TRADITIONAL SHIBARI PRACTICE, TYING IS ITS OWN END, AND THE PLEASURE, PAIN, AND BEAUTY ARE FOUND IN THE PRACTICE ITSELF." This is a common story in BDSM. Those in positions of power feel relieved when they can relinquish

Celeste Pietrusza, Ph. D. (she/they), a clinical psychologist with a concentration on BDSM and kink, says,

“There is often an element of being cared for, knowing that an experienced, responsible top has you.” The appeal of “letting go” can also look like entrusting another person with your care, which can be especially powerful for people with trauma histories that have undermined their capacity to do this. Yet, one doesn’t need rope to submit. Going back to Russ’ original question, why not just use leather cuffs as a shortcut if submission is the goal? I reached out to Philadelphiabased professional submissive Hunny Daniels (they/them) for an answer to this question. They could hardly contain the unabashed joy they FIT TO BE TIED, CONTINUES ON PG. 6

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experience being bound by Shibari rope (typically made of jute or hemp). “I have sensory-seeking autism, for sure,” they explain. “A lot of my time is spent trying to gain a feeling. I’m trying to experience something specific; it’s not always easy out in the world to acquire those sensations.” Rope bondage, though, delivers the sensory experience Daniels craves. “When I’m being tied, I feel the restriction and it’s really calming and comforting,” they say. “It’s a prolonged sensation that is just what I desire.” Daniels’ neurodivergence isn’t out of the ordinary in kink spaces. “Temple Grandin talks about the experience of being held, which is so calming to her with autism,” recalls Pietrusza. “What I’ve found with many people who engage in rope bondage when they are neurodivergent and kinky is that they enjoy that feeling of being held or contained.”

perspective. Was my original impulse based on a misunderstanding of what the experience of Shibari is? What appears, from the outside, to be very slow and tedious was being described by my interviewees as an all-consuming dance involving both pain and pleasure — one that quiets the distraction and noise of the world outside the scene. They were describing the sort of self-contained intimacy that I work so hard to create for my clients in the context of a session — an intimacy that pushes the cares of the world away, if only for an hour. On a Zoom call, long-time rigger Sir C (she/her), who has been doing rope bondage since 1999, tells me, “I was drawn to rope because of the artistry, the control, and the collaborative nature.” And this artistic collaboration — this dance — seems to occupy center stage for everyone I talked to. A partnered dance seems

“IT’S NICE WHEN I GET TO BE A PILLOW PRINCESS AND SOMEONE’S DOING IT FOR ME AND I’M JUST GOING TO RELAX, AND FOCUS ON THE ROPE.” Melissa Milk (they/them), a Pittsburgh-based member of the kink community who has been both a rope bottom and top (commonly referred to as a “rigger”), says, “I believe that most of the people who do rope bondage are doing it because they’re neurodivergent or have experienced trauma in a way that leads them into these spaces.” Milk is no exception to this. “I have ADHD, and I’m super easily distracted,” they say. But rope helped Milk quiet some of those distractions. “It was really easy to make rope my hyperfocus,” they say. “I learned to tie really quickly.” Certainly, not everyone who participates in rope bondage (or kink more broadly) is neurodivergent, but hearing neurodivergent people talk about the way Shibari has met their needs differently than other forms of sexuality started to shift my

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to be the perfect metaphor because it implies both skill and connection. Pietrusza suggests, “Each tie can be a moment to really form a connection.” Sir C sees the training and skill of the top to be one of the conditions for the possibility of this intimacy. “The skill part of it is important so that you don’t have to focus on the ties,” she says. “You’re doing that almost instinctively so that you can focus on your connection with the rope bottom.” For Milk, the importance of this connectivity with their partner is what sharpens their focus. They say, “Even as a top, any distractions pretty much completely melt away. The activity you’re doing commands all your focus. I couldn’t do the type of topping that I do without being 100% focused on my partner.” It would be easy to think about the rigger as engaging in an active

CP PHOTO: MARS JOHNSON

PHOTO: PJ PATELLA-REY

Jessie Sage practicing shibari with rigger Melissa Milk

practice while the bottom passively allows it, but Sir C reminds us of the engagement required of the bottom. “Bottoming for rope is a very active process,” she says. “The bottoms have to manage their bodies, their headspace, their muscles. It’s a much more active bottoming than, say, standing to take a beating.” I wouldn’t do the sort of work I do if I didn’t believe that engaging with the desires of others has the power to change me. I look for that

in every interaction that I have. But I am usually capable of understanding something on an intellectual or emotional level without having to experience it myself. I wasn’t prepared, in other words, for the ways that doing these interviews would make me long for the sort of still concentration that Milk spoke of, the cathartic sensory experience that Daniels and Ngo described, and the confident, connected know-how that both Russ and Sir C radiated. Indeed, the activity that


once looked boring and technical to me became so compelling that I invited Milk to my house to help me experience a suspension for the first time. Like any responsible and knowledgeable top, Milk came in with a list of questions about my previous experiences with bondage and kink, my associations with eroticized pain (in the words of Sir C, “There is no way to be comfortably suspended”), and the idiosyncrasies of my body. They then explained the risks, what I may experience during the suspension and in its aftermath, and how to communicate my limits should we hit up against them. And then they started to wrap rope around my body, tightening it with each loop. I cannot tell you what happened next. Not because I blacked out (I did not), but because I haven’t had enough time to process the experience of being lifted off the ground and held by what felt like a dozen pressure points. I also don’t yet have the words to describe the feeling of being slowly lowered while the tight rope slackened and my body melted onto the floor. What I can tell you is that later, when Milk tied me to the white chase that my partner and I mostly use as a photoshoot prop, I consented to have my neck bitten and my thighs scratched and all I could think as it was happening was, “More.” What I can also tell you is that when it was over, my partner told me that I sounded like I was cumming as I moved through the scene — but I hadn’t noticed that I was making noise at all. What I did not experience is the sort of boredom and ADHD inattentiveness that I had previously associated with the form. I understand now how Russ could go from asking the same sort of questions as me to founding a group that created community and classes around the art.

“Rope,” Pietrusza tells me, “is a connective material.” Shibari is not about knot technique (indeed, I would learn that very few knots are used in classical form), it is about vulnerability and connection. This should not be as surprising to me as it was. Pietruza says, “At one point in time, we were connected to a parent with an umbilical cord. When we were brought into this world we were literally tied to another person, vulnerable to them.” Reconnecting with that kind of vulnerability is as profound as any experience I’ve had. I have never been more happy to be wrong.

Note: In Sir C’s words, “all kink is an assumed risk.” Rope bondage in particular runs the risk of nerve damage, blood pressure issues, dehydration, and more. Anyone who engages in these activities should properly vet play partners for experience, knowledge/ skills, and safety. There are a variety of kink classes and conferences where folks can learn how to mitigate risks, and rope bondage classes in particular are offered at The Body Shop here in Pittsburgh by Rope Bite Pgh.

J e s s i e Sa g e ( s h e / h e r ) i s a Pittsburgh-based sex worker and writer. Her freelance writing has appeared in a variety of publications including The Washington Post, Men’s Health, VICE, The Daily Beast, BuzzFeed, Hustler Magazine, and more. At the beginning of 2024 she launched a new podcast: When We’re Not Hustling: Sex Workers Talking About Everything But. You can find Jessie on Twitter @ sapiotextual & Instagram @curvaceous_sage. You can follow her new podcast on Twitter & Instagram @ NotHustlingPod. You can also visit her website jessiesage.com. •

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER FEBRUARY 7-14, 2024

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CP ILLUSTRATION: JEFF SCHRECKENGOST

LOVE + SEX

DATING OUTSIDE THE APPS BY STACY ROUNDS // STACY@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

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t seemed so easy, once upon a time, to sit on the couch in pajamas scrolling through attractive dating profiles, making connections, and writing the next chapter of your love story. Everyone has heard about that perfect couple that met online. In fact, that’s how I met my wonderful partner. But according to recent studies, dating apps are on the decline, and meeting people in the real world is now trending. Genuine connections, some say, make for better first dates because a positive vibe has already been established. Others insist there are “lower-quality” people on the apps who are lying, spamming, using dated photos, ghosting, slinging hurtful slurs, or hunting for an ego boost. According to a Pew Research study at the height of the apps’ popularity, 32% of female users reported being harassed while using a dating app.

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in Pittsburgh. Shrearer was excited when she first began online dating but quickly realized it wasn’t for her, citing the “dissonance” between who a potential partner is in person and behind a screen. Dating in Pittsburgh’s first event quickly sold all 75 tickets, after which they launched a second event catering to a slightly older demographic. Shrearer feels positive that the events will continue to thrive, stating that some of the participants met someone they were interested

“AN AXIOS SURVEY FOUND THAT 79% OF COLLEGE STUDENTS DON’T USE DATING APPS AT ALL, PREFERRING INSTEAD TO MEET PEOPLE IN PERSON.” For those holding onto the apps and believing that it takes more effort to go out in public and meet somebody, here’s the thing: you’re exhausting the same time and energy scrolling through countless profiles that may or may not result in a date. If you want to meet other datable singles, why not attend some local singles events? A few months ago, Jill Shearer and her partners launched Dating in Pittsburgh, a chill happy hour

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in dating, while others made new friends while having fun. But Dating in Pittsburgh is not the only local service to follow the organic meetup trend. Speed dating, in a sense, has been added to Nerd Night’s “Speed Mingling” events, offering participants seeking a romantic connection a green wristband to let others know, “I’m single and ready to mingle!” And then there’s Timber, an inclusive DATING OUTSIDE THE APPS, CONTINUES ON PG. 10

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singles group for outdoorsy folks that holds events all over the Commonwealth, including hiking, camping and kayaking, as well as attending local happenings together as a group. Despite being a statewide singles community, Timber offers localized chats and meetups for the “Westies” here in Allegheny County. You can also meet people at fun local events not exclusively tied to dating. Not to toot Pittsburgh City Paper’s horn, but we have a pretty extensive list of events both on our events page and in our 7 Days newsletter, so you’ll never have trouble finding an event to get yourself out in a public setting — dressed to the hilt, if that’s your thing — to connect with new people. When searching for events, the key is to connect with like-minded people. For instance, if you love frisbee, try a frisbee event where you can mingle with locals who love tossing the disc as much as you

CP ILLUSTRATION: JEFF SCHRECKENGOST

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do. If you love wine, try a wine mixer. If you love professional wrestling, go watch muscly opponents smash each other in the face with a chair with some new friends. The possibilities are endless, and the connections you make will be well worth putting yourself out there. You may be reading my recommendations and thinking to yourself, “Yeah, right. I’m an introvert or a busy professional with very little time to spend out at social functions.” I get it. If online dating isn’t working for you, may I suggest trying a matchmaking service instead? A matchmaking service will cost more money than online dating, but it may be worth the investment. Whatever avenue you choose, I wish you good fortune in your dating journey. Stay true to yourself, set healthy boundaries, and remember to keep it light and fun! •


PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER FEBRUARY 7-14, 2024

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MUSIC

PHOTO: COURTESY OF THE MOON BABY

THE MOON BABY

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OVER THE MOON BY AMANDA WALTZ // AWALTZ@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

S

inger, songwriter, drag queen … romantic? The Moon Baby, a selfproclaimed pop star who cut her teeth in the Pittsburgh scene, will soon grace Spirit for Valentine’s on the Moon, Baby, a glamorous cabaret event described as “a night of irreverent covers, original songs, and at least one costume change.” Happening Mon., Feb. 12, the Valentine’s Day celebration marks yet another Pittsburgh pilgrimage for The Moon Baby, who, despite living in Philadelphia, always finds opportunities to return to the city. Pittsburgh City Paper conducted another rousing interview with The Moon Baby about the upcoming show, her worst Valentine’s Day, dating, and more.

Why a Valentine’s show in Pittsburgh? I have been doing my holiday show, Christmas on the Moon, Baby, with one of my dear friends, Jon David Russell, for nine years now. After the show this December, we were dreaming up ideas of what’s next. I fell in love with my partner, Zach, in Pittsburgh and am always looking for an excuse to come on home, so Valentine’s Day felt perfect.

pghcitypaper.com

Feeling Nostalgic?

Is Valentine’s your favorite or least favorite holiday? Or is it somewhere in between? If a holiday isn’t heartwarming and full of fond memories, it needs to at least be commercially fun to interact with. The iconography of Valentine’s Day is so cute, and celebrating love is an everyday meditation for me. I think if I were to rank holidays it would go Billie, Christmas, New Year’s Eve, Valentine’s Day, Moon Landing, Thanksgiving.

What was your best Valentine’s Day and worst Valentine’s Day? My best Valentine’s Days are spent with my partner — we don’t go out or make a big to-do of it but we always cook a delicious meal and stay in and have anal sex. OVER THE MOON, CONTINUES ON PG. 14

ALSO

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My worst Valentine’s Day was in the third grade — I did not win first place in the Valentine card mailbox challenge AND my teacher did not acknowledge to the entire class that I got glasses — which she had done for this girl, Kaitlin, a week prior. I had PEZ-brand prescription eyeglasses and was denied any real class room recognition. A pitiful feeling.

now, but what is the queer dating scene in Philly compared to Pittsburgh?

I’ve heard from some drag performers that dating can be difficult for them. Do you find that to be the case?

Do you think your Spirit show would make a great date night? Why or why not?

I have never found this to be the case but I also have never tried to date, instead excelling at casual sex in the Greater Pittsburgh Area. My partner Zach and I have been together a little over six years and the difficulty I face now in my relationship is that I am extremely annoying and have a flat ass.

Not sure if you could speak to this, because you have a partner

The main difference in the queer dating scene from Pittsburgh to Philadelphia is that post-coital couples will dine at WaWa instead of Sheetz. There are also a lot less pups here!

VALENTINE’S ON THE MOON, BABY.

9 p.m. Doors at 8 p.m. Spirit. 242 51st St., Lawrenceville. $15 in advance, $20 at the door. 21 and over.

SPIRITPGH.COM

Valentines on the Moon, Baby is the perfect opportunity to celebrate queer love, whether it be a date night or a night out with friends. I tend to serve everything with a wink and a fart, so even if you are riding solo, you can have a nice laugh and potentially find action after the show. The show also offers an Italian buffet and à la carte, heart-shaped pizzas! Spirit really got up into the trattoria with this one.•

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LOVE + SEX

CP PHOTO: MARS JOHNSON

Kelly Driscoll and Ron McCorkle step to the beat of Motown Monday

SILVER SWINGERS

A group of Pittsburgh seniors keep the dance party going well into their 70s BY RACHEL WILKINSON // RWILKINSON@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

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early every night of the week, there’s a dance happening somewhere in Pittsburgh. These dances are not to be confused with typical nightlife or club dancing, but instead are “social” dances, descended from the swing era of the 1930s and ‘40s. Back then, young dancers thronged clubs and dance halls to hear big band

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music and to do the Lindy Hop — one of the original forms of swing dancing, originated in Harlem. Often used interchangeably with the jitterbug, the Lindy Hop kicked off a golden age of swing that persisted for decades and introduced hundreds of new, localized dances, including the shag, the Charleston, and the East Coast Swing. Today, swing’s adherents are older, but no less enthusiastic.

“We’re our own little society,” Mary Beth Kish, 71, of Munhall tells Pittsburgh City Paper. For nearly 30 years, Kish and her fellow dancers have headed up the stairs at the Wightman School Community Building in Squirrel Hill, which hosts multiple dances a week. There’s ballroom, swing, and even a tango class taught by the renowned Robert “Bobby D” Dunlap, who’s also

been deejaying there since 1997. The dances at Wightman started off as Bobby D’s Swing City. Bobby D is trying to retire, he tells City Paper, though he’s still a fixture at Wightman, wearing a signature beret and white oxfords that look straight out of Saturday Night Fever. Kish recalls her parents dancing at the McKeesport Palisades, a cigar factory turned event center that still


CP PHOTO: MARS JOHNSON

Mark Wagner dances with Linda Hartman during a Motown Monday singles dance night

CP PHOTO: MARS JOHNSON

Gerald Tarr spins Mary Beth Kish while dancing on Motown Monday at the Wightman School Community building.

hosts dances and boasts one of the region’s most spacious dance floors. In Pittsburgh, a then-youthful Greatest Generation flocked to places like the Palisades, the now-defunct West View Park’s Danceland (the Rolling Stones played there in 1964), and Kennywood’s erstwhile dancehall. “They were buggin’ at Kennywood, you know?” Kish remembers. Children of the Greatest Generation, now mostly in their 70s, have taken up the hobby, some dancing as many as six nights a week, for hours at a time. “You can get addicted to it,” Kish says. “Some people are really addicted to it.” For the past four years, Barb Wilson — “Barb, she’s the main thing,” Bobby D says — has organized Motown Monday at Wightman, which, if you ask around, is the dance to go to. “The biggest thing now,” Bobby D says. “This dance is the friendliest dance in all of Pittsburgh,” Wilson beams. “It truly is. This is the only dance where everybody dances with everybody.” It’s the most social, dancers say, and the most welcoming of single people. Whereas many Pittsburgh dances are for couples, at Motown

Mo n day, eve r yo n e f re q u e n tly switches dance partners — often as instructed by Bobby D — twirling around on the dance floor adjoining Wightman’s proscenium stage. Newbies are welcome and a “community feel,” pervades, Bobby D says. “Sort of like family” is a sentiment echoed by almost every dancer. At Motown Monday, there’s boxed wine and a buffet with food cooked by Barb, the event’s promoter and chef. “It’s a draw for the single guys because they don’t cook,” Kish says. “They like to come Monday night so they have something to eat. So it’s a pretty good racket [they have] going.” On a recent Monday at 7 p.m., Barb puts out the food. A shoulder injury means delivery pizza for the entree this week. “I wish people would shut the lids,” she fusses. “Did you have [Barb’s] Motown salad yet?” several people ask. “It’s Italian salad, it has everything in it, it’s delicious.” Social or partnered dance involves two people, coordinating their movements. It’s a simple enough premise, but as Mark Wagner, a dancer, promoter, and general evangelist from Youngstown, Ohio, points out, it’s a

rarified environment where you have such “intimate” contact with several different people — sometimes relative strangers — all in one night. “You’re in physical contact,” Kish emphasizes. Moreover, partner dance requires skill. “You have to have a good lead … with some kind of rhythm [who] stays to the beat of the music,” Kish says. “You have to have the same exact beat or else you can’t dance together.” Social dancers turn up their noses at so-called freestyle dancing, which doesn’t require responding to another person, no leading or following. “Anybody can freestyle. Which is fine, I get it,” Kish says, “Anyone [who] jiggles around.” After paying $12 at the door, dancers begin trickling in to “softer” music spun by Bobby D. After dinner, he turns up the volume, and no one hesitates to hop on the floor when “Back In My Arms Again” by The Supremes blares, with sweeping colored disco lights, followed by Wilson Pickett’s “Mustang Sally.” Though there are a lot of swing moves, dancers mix in cha-cha, hustle, waltz, and bachata — a social dance style SILVER SWINGERS, CONTINUES ON PG. 18

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER FEBRUARY 7-14, 2024

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SILVER SWINGERS, CONTINUED FROM PG. 17

“THIS DANCE IS THE FRIENDLIEST DANCE IN ALL OF PITTSBURGH. IT TRULY IS. THIS IS THE ONLY DANCE WHERE EVERYBODY DANCES WITH EVERYBODY." CP PHOTO: MARS JOHNSON

Dancers ranging in age from 61 to 87 perform the River Waltz during a Motown Monday dance night at the Wightman School Building on Jan. 22, 2024.

from the Dominican Republic. Bobby D mostly stays on theme, but there’s a rush to the floor when he sneaks in “Can’t Stop The Feeling” by Justin Timberlake. In talking to a handful of the 80 or so Monday regulars, dancers hail from all over the region, traveling up to two hours from Ohio. “So that’s another thing,” Barb says. “Everybody comes from everywhere.” Barb has a soft spot for those she calls the “originals” who have come to Motown Monday since it started in September 2019. Back then, Barb says, there were maybe eight people. Just as they began growing their numbers,

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she planned a St. Patrick’s Day dinner and dance, making green clovershaped ravioli. It was March 2020. When the dancing returned to Wightman after the COVID-19 shutdowns, on Memorial Day 2021, Barb says, “We advertised. And I did a big buffet, and our first dance back, we had 80 people.” “It was a long time without dancing!” Marlene Waszkiewicz, one of the originals, exclaims to CP. Waszkiewicz started dancing as a child. “I wanted to be a Rockette,” she says, dryly adding, “But short little fat stubby girls don’t get to be Rockettes

back in that time.” As an adult, Waszkiewicz has kept dancing into her 70s, remembering that she used to ditch her husband to hit some of Pittsburgh’s most storied nightclubs. “I was at Confetti, Chauncy’s, I was down at The Boardwalk, I was out,” Waszkiewicz says, “but you know what? I really like this song and I have to go dance.” Naturally, a singles dance comes with gossip and intrigue. What happens if you’re in a couple where one partner dances — say three, four nights a week — and the other doesn’t? “I’ve been asking that question for


CP PHOTO: MARS JOHNSON

Ron McCorkle closes his eyes while dancing with Rose Schoy on Jan. 22, 2024.

30 years,” Kish says. “I have no idea.” She married twice and both of her husbands were dancers. At Motown Monday, “nobody here is married to each other,” Kish explains. “But they’re married. There’s a lot of shit going on. Everybody’s having affairs with everybody or whatever … I mean, we’re in our 70s. So it doesn’t change,” she laughs. Barb introduces another Monday original, Tom Richey, the group’s “resident Santa.” Richey grows out his beard every year starting at “Christmas in July.” Multiple people show me pictures of a full-bearded Tom at the annual Wightman Christmas dance talking to women in his lap. “You know, it’s a tough job,” he tells CP. At one point, Barb wheels out a birthday cake for another regular, who’s leading a line dance to “Stayin’ Alive” by the Bee Gees. “How old do you think she is?” Tom asks. “I’m 73, she’s 67!” (Apparently one of the youngest people in the room.) “The girl that I was dancing with, her birthday’s in February. She’ll be 75.” I ask what he thinks the average age is. “Old!” Tom says. “You’re only old up here,” another dancer tells me, pointing to her head, as about 20 dance partners whirl past to Edwin Starr’s “Twenty-Five Miles.” How does it end, after three full hours of revelry? “Gradually!” says another of Barb’s originals, Philip Bourdon, known for his flamboyant shirts. Bobby begins to wind down the music, and around 10 p.m., people with the longest drives home start shuffling toward the lobby. There’s talk of the next dance — at Wightman for Valentine’s Day, or a Saturday Singles’ dance at the West View VFW. Wagner says it’s all in good fun, but also “it’s a life changing experience for people.” “Regardless of what stuff life is throwing at you, [dancing] either makes it sweeter or it gets you out of the ditch and brings you back to reality,” he says. “And where else are you gonna go for $12?” asks Richey. •

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER FEBRUARY 7-14, 2024

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NEIGHBORHOOD

SEVEN DAYS IN PITTSBURGH BY CP STAFF

SA FEB T., . 10

MARKET • HIGHLAND PARK

PGH Vintage Mixer and Queer Craft Market present Sexy Time. 5-9 p.m. Union Project 801 N. Negley Ave., Highland Park. Free. instagram.com/pghvintagemixer

COMEDY • DOWNTOWN

In a 2016 episode of the podcast College Stories, comedian Subhah Agarwal recounts her time in Pittsburgh working as a clown for children’s parties on the Gateway Clipper “I didn’t like clowns, they creeped me out,” Agarwal says, revealing how her fingers were “almost bleeding” from constantly making balloon animals. The stand-up act and television writer returns to the city for a gig at Arcade Comedy Theater, where she will cover her clowning stint and other subjects. 7 p.m. 943 Liberty Ave., Downtown. $10-15. 16 and over. arcadecomedytheater.com

SUN., FEB. 11 MUSIC • NORTH SIDE

Alla Boara: Dynamic Italian Folk Music. 6-7:30 p.m. Alphabet City at City of Asylum. 40 W. North Ave., North Side. Free. Registration required. Livestream available. cityofasylum.org

MUSIC • DOWNTOWN PHOTO: TROY CONRAD/COURTESY OF SHARK PARTY MEDIA

Subhah Agarwal at Arcade Comedy Theater

THU., FEB. 8 MUSIC • NORTH SHORE

Greensky Bluegrass with Melt. 6:30 p.m. Stage AE. 400 N. Shore Dr., North Shore. $32.50-85. promowestlive.com

THEATER • DOWNTOWN

A Broadway actor reflects on her Filipino family’s shocking past in the latest production presented by Pittsburgh Public Theater. Sara Porkalob wrote, and performs in Dragon Lady, an original cabaret musical centered around the confessions of a matriarch on the eve of her 60th birthday. Expect explorations of intergenerational trauma, copious amounts of karaoke, and a few murders. Performances take place at the O’Reilly Theater. 8 p.m. Continues through Sun., Feb. 25. 621 Penn Ave., Downtown. $35-88. ppt.org

FRI., FEB. 9 PARTY • NORTH SIDE

21+ Night: Seductive Science. 6-10 p.m. Carnegie Science Center. One Allegheny Ave., North Side. $20-25. carnegiesciencecenter.org

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THEATER • MIDLAND

The Little Prince. 7:30 p.m. Continues through Sun., Feb., 11 and from Thu., Feb. 15-Sat., Feb. 17. Lincoln Park Performing Arts Center. One Lincoln Park, Midland. $22.50. lincolnparkarts.org

MUSIC • SOUTH SIDE

Love Ethic, Bottom/Top, and Garage League. 8 p.m. Doors at 7 p.m. Club Cafe 56-58 South 12th St., South Side. $15. ticketweb.com

MUSIC • NORTH SIDE

Queer country acts will convene at The Government Center for a special night presented by Desert Hearts and The Glitterbox Theater. Only the Lonely: A Night of Sad and Sexy Country Music welcomes Andrew Sa, an actor and vocalist described as “Chicago’s premiere queer country crooner.” Also featured are the Philly duo Big Benny Bailey, I4A, and 1000z of Beez, as well as various Glitterbox performers. The evening is sponsored by AIDS Free Pittsburgh. 8 p.m. 715 East St., North Side. $15 in advance, $20 at the door. thegovernmentcenter.com

PARTY • MILLVALE

FLUX BLACK HISTORY EDITION with Rojo, Icy Pisces, Deesus, DJ Inception, Wade, DJ

Femi, Arie Cole, and Yamez. 10 p.m. Doors at 9 p.m. The Funhouse at Mr. Smalls. 400 Lincoln Ave., Millvale. $10-18. mrsmalls.com

SAT., FEB. 10 FESTIVAL • POINT BREEZE

Commonplace Carnival. 9 a.m.-2 p.m. Commonplace Coffee-Rockwell Park. 7514 Thomas Blvd. Suite 100, Point Breeze. Free. instagram.com/commonplacecoffee

MARKET • GARFIELD

Punk Rock Flea Market. 12-4 p.m. Mr. Roboto Project. 5106 Penn Ave., Garfield. Free. therobotoproject.com

MUSIC • MILLVALE

Lil’ Fest Punk-entine’s Day with The Cheats, Murder for Girls, Dead Batteries, Eye Candy, Millvin and the Etnoids, Subarctic Beach Party. 4 p.m. Doors at 3 p.m. The Funhouse at Mr. Smalls. 400 Lincoln Ave., Millvale. $20 in advance, $25 at the door. mrsmalls.com

ART • BLOOMFIELD

artparty: We Will Wander with Seth Clark and Jeffrey Smith. 5-7 p.m. Continues through March 29. BoxHeart Gallery. 4523 Liberty Ave., Bloomfield. Free. boxheartgallery.com

Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra presents Prokofiev’s Romeo & Juliet. 2:30 p.m. Heinz Hall. 600 Penn Ave., Downtown. $25-102. pittsburghsymphony.org

MON., FEB. 12 MUSIC • SOUTH SIDE

Lydia Lunch with Joseph Keckler, Kevin Shea, and Skeletonized. 8 p.m. Doors at 7 p.m. Club Cafe. 56-58 South 12th St., South Side. $25. ticketweb.com

MUSIC • MCKEES ROCKS

Band of Horses. 8 p.m. Roxian Theatre. 425 Chartiers Ave., McKees Rocks. Tickets start at $35. roxiantheatre.com

TUE., FEB. 13 MUSIC • LAWRENCEVILLE

No Vacation with French Cassettes. 8 p.m. Doors at 7 p.m. Thunderbird Music Hall. 4053 Butler St., Lawrenceville. $20. 18 and over. thunderbirdmusichall.com

WED., FEB. 14 ART • UPTOWN

Local artist Jeremy Raymer has made a name for himself painting highly-detailed murals of famous Pittsburghers. He welcomes the public to his studio for GHOSTED, an


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anti-Valentine’s Day, salon-style art event described in an email as a “showing of famous/ obscure pop culture ghosts” on vintage materials, apparel, and more. Guests will find a photo booth, special merch, and refreshments at what Raymer considers his first official art show. Collectors can also purchase pieces for as little as $5. 6 p.m.-2 a.m. 2042 Tustin St., Uptown. Free. instagram.com/jeremymraymer

MUSIC • DOWNTOWN

Soul Sessions: Kindred The Family Soul. 8 p.m. August Wilson African American Cultural Center, 980 Liberty Ave., Downtown. $60. awaacc.org

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GAME SHOW • ALLENTOWN

Meet Cute: A Dating Game Show with Rachel Ann Bovier. 8 p.m. Bottlerocket Social Hall. 1226 Arlington Ave., Allentown. $5-30. bottlerocketpgh.com

., THUR8 FEB.

PHOTO: DYLAN LANGILLE

Greensky Bluegrass at Stage AE

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER FEBRUARY 7-14, 2024

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PUBLIC NOTICE A petition for Involuntary Transfer of Ownership of a Vehicle has been filed by Sayfatova, Sanam, Case No. GD-24-000319 for a 2016 Mazda Miata, Vin# JM1NDAB71G0117347. A hearing is scheduled on the 18th day of March, 2024, at 11:30 a.m. before the Civil Division Motions Judge of Allegheny County.

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ESTATE NOTICE

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IN The Court of Common Pleas of Allegheny County, Pennsylvania: No. GD-23-014269 In re petition of Christopher Alan McHenry for change of name to Uma Okorie McHenry Njoku. To all persons interested: Notice is hereby given that an order of said Court authorized the filing of said petition and fixed the 28th day of February, 2024, at 9:30 a.m., as the time and the Motions Room, City-County Building, Pittsburgh, PA, as the place for a hearing, when and where all persons may show cause, if any they have, why said name should not be changed as prayed for.

IN The Court of Common Pleas of Allegheny County, Pennsylvania: No. GD-23-11696 In re petition of Ashley Sabrina Rourke for change of name to Sabrina Rourke Frost. To all persons interested: Notice is hereby given that an order of said Court authorized the filing of said petition and fixed the 28th day of February, 2024, at 9:30 a.m., as the time and the Motions Room, City-County Building, Pittsburgh, PA, as the place for a hearing, when and where all persons may show cause, if any they have, why said name should not be changed as prayed for.

IN The Court of Common Pleas of Allegheny County, Pennsylvania: No. GD-23-11697 In re petition of Robert Benjamin Johnson for change of name to Benjamin Gustav Frost. To all persons interested: Notice is hereby given that an order of said Court authorized the filing of said petition and fixed the 28th day of February, 2024, at 9:30 a.m., as the time and the Motions Room, City-County Building, Pittsburgh, PA, as the place for a hearing, when and where all persons may show cause, if any they have, why said name should not be changed as prayed for.

IN The Court of Common Pleas of Allegheny County, Pennsylvania: No. GD-23-011894 In re petition of Demond Sanders for change of name to Demond Harris. To all persons interested: Notice is hereby given that an order of said Court authorized the filing of said petition and fixed the 28th day of February, 2024, at 9:30 a.m., as the time and the Motions Room, City-County Building, Pittsburgh, PA, as the place for a hearing, when and where all persons may show cause, if any they have, why said name should not be changed as prayed for.

NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN that Letters of Administration in the Estate of Brenda Souaiby, late of the City of Pittsburgh, Allegheny County, Pennsylvania, who died on November 29, 2018, have been granted to James B. Ballew, Administrator. All persons indebted to said Estate are requested to make payment and those having claims or demands are requested to present the same without delay to: David E. Schwager, Esquire 183 Market Street Suite 100 Kingston, PA 187045444

NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN that Letters of Administration in the Estate of Walter J. Tavis, Jr., late of the Township of Baldwin, Allegheny County, Pennsylvania, who died on March 2, 2019, have been granted to Shelley Inez Tavis, Administratrix. All persons indebted to said Estate are requested to make payment and those having claims or demands are requested to present the same without delay to: David E. Schwager, Esquire 183 Market Street Suite 100 Kingston, PA 187045444

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Extra Space Storage, on behalf of itself or its affiliates, Life Storage or Storage Express, will hold a public auction to sell the contents of leased spaces to satisfy Extra Space’s lien at the location indicated: 110 Kisow Drive, Pittsburgh, PA 15205 on February 21st, 2024 at 11:15am. David Serkerski 123, Stephanie Tate 311, Deborah Stevens 397, Debra Diamond 461. The auction will be listed and advertised on www.storagetreasures.com. Purchases must be made with cash only and paid at the above referenced facility in order to complete the transaction. Extra Space Storage may refuse any bid and may rescind any purchase up until the winning bidder takes possession of the personal property.

Extra Space Storage, on behalf of itself or its affiliates, Life Storage or Storage Express, will hold a public auction to sell the contents of leased spaces to satisfy Extra Space’s lien at the location indicated: 700 E Carson St, Pittsburgh, PA 15203. February 21, 2024 at 12:15 PM. Lady Carpenter LLC 166, Kevin Dotson 2078, Ceddric Moses 2169, Lisa Kowalczyk 3042, Jazmynn Palmer 4158. The auction will be listed and advertised on www. storagetreasures.com. Purchases must be made with cash only and paid at the above referenced facility in order to complete the transaction. Extra Space Storage may refuse any bid and may rescind any purchase up until the winning bidder takes possession of the personal property.

Extra Space Storage, on behalf of itself or its affiliates, Life Storage or Storage Express, will hold a public auction to sell the contents of leased spaces to satisfy Extra Space’s lien at the location indicated: 1212 Madison Ave, Pittsburgh, PA 15212. February 21, 2024 at 1:30 PM. Jill Pace 2045 and Chibuike Dumebi-Kachikwu 4013. The auction will be listed and advertised on www.storagetreasures.com. Purchases must be made with cash only and paid at the above referenced facility in order to complete the transaction. Extra Space Storage may refuse any bid and may rescind any purchase up until the winning bidder takes possession of the personal property.

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1. Rather rankle 6. Overused 10. Ran the event 14. Cries of pain 15. Starbuck’s boss 16. Grocery store with a triangle in its logo 17. Gentle rubbing? 20. Kind of talk 21. “___ Is Why” (Grammy-winning Paramore song) 22. It’s a plus 23. Scot’s topper 25. They may be thrown in some bars 26. One of the lower 48 doomed to fail? 32. Classic kid’s hoped-for birthday present 35. Tsukimichi: Moonlit Fantasy genre 36. Soft drinks 37. “We should talk sometime,” initially 38. Publication for fans 39. Was irate 40. Inexperienced one in the gaming world 41. “We’re hitting the road” speculation: Abbr. 42. Totally dry 43. Must, informally 44. It might make

you blue 45. Average fellows who sell national secrets? 47. Stink to high hell 49. Meaningless amount 50. Family vehicle 52. “Goldberg Variations” composer 55. Bad word 59. Jovial place that reproduces copies of The Republic? 62. Bubbly name 63. Regarding 64. Battery end 65. Many a TikTok user 66. Time in the playoffs when the plays are off 67. Paycheck bumper

DOWN

1. Dermatologist’s concern 2. Cameron ___ (hacker on Halt and Catch Fire) 3. Blown away 4. WFH consideration 5. Superlative ending 6. Clean things up 7. “How long were you standing there?” 8. Super Bowl LVI winners 9. Rockets org. 10. Pool shot banned in many halls

11. It has a lot of student bodies 12. Advantage 13. Loser’s goals 18. “That post cuts close to the bone” 19. Ska band members 24. Hoppy beverage 25. Somewhat 26. Startled 27. Group mentality? 28. Swiper’s activity 29. Snorkeling equipment 30. 1992 Best Supporing Actress 31. “Heads up” 33. Over act 34. Marching band members 39. Oyster ___ 40. Emphatic, but

short, rejection 42. One who works on a case by case basis? 43. Miracle-___ Shake ‘N Feed All Purpose Plant Food 46. Labor Dept. watchdog 48. Get some DoorDash 50. Went “ptui” 51. Ultimatum word 52. Occupied 53. Entrance fee 54. Corp. fiscal VIPs 56. Fruitcake 57. Language where “pajamas” comes from 58. Certain breads 60. Marvy 61. Red selection LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS

Extra Space Storage, on behalf of itself or its affiliates, Life Storage or Storage Express, will hold a public auction to sell the contents of leased spaces to satisfy Extra Space’s lien at the location indicated: 880 Saw Mill Run Blvd Pittsburgh, PA 15226, February 21, 2024, at 1:15 PM. Michael Kirchell 1510, Lynne Rene Chambers 3070, Robert Cooper 3121, Donald Sankovich 3154, Wayne Copeland 3206, Mark Andreen 4033. The auction will be listed and advertised on www.storagetreasures.com. Purchases must be made with cash only and paid at the above referenced facility in order to complete the transaction. Extra Space Storage may refuse any bid and may rescind any purchase up until the winning bidder takes possession of the personal property.

PUBLIC AUCTION Extra Space Storage, on behalf of itself or its affiliates, Life Storage or Storage Express, will hold a public auction to sell the contents of leased spaces to satisfy Extra Space’s lien at the location indicated: 111 Hickory Grade Road, Bridgeville PA 15017, February 21, 2024 at 12:30 pm. Melissa Townsend 3005, Robert Gallocher Sr 3052, Rachael Doven 3369. The auction will be listed and advertised on www.storagetreasures.com. Purchases must be made with cash only and paid at the above referenced facility in order to complete the transaction. Extra Space Storage may refuse any bid and may rescind any purchase up until the winning bidder takes possession of the personal property.

Extra Space Storage, on behalf of itself or its affiliates, Life Storage or Storage Express, will hold a public auction to sell the contents of leased spaces to satisfy Extra Space’s lien at the location indicated: 141 N Braddock Ave, Pittsburgh, PA 15208 on February 21st , 2024 at 11:00am. 3073 Howard Kemper and 4001 Perryn Epps-Smith. The auction will be listed and advertised on www. storagetreasures.com. Purchases must be made with cash only and paid at the above referenced facility in order to complete the transaction. Extra Space Storage may refuse any bid and may rescind any purchase up until the winning bidder takes possession of the personal property.

PUBLIC AUCTION

Extra Space Storage, on behalf of itself or its affiliates, Life Storage or Storage Express, will hold a public auction to sell the contents of leased spaces to satisfy Extra Space’s lien at the location indicated: 1005 E Entry Drive Pittsburgh, PA 15216 on 02/21/2024 at 11:30 AM. 1004 Daniel O’Leary, 2156 John Mcquillan, 2165 Rachel, Buchanan, 4164 Justin Bush, 5180 Shelby Lundy, 5182 Angel Lozada. The auction will be listed and advertised on www.storagetreasures.com. Purchases must be made with cash only and paid at the above referenced facility in order to complete the transaction. Extra Space Storage may refuse any bid and may rescind any purchase up until the winning bidder takes possession of the personal property.

PUBLIC AUCTION Public notice is hereby given that property placed in storage by the following persons at the following locations will be sold via public sale to satisfy Guardian Storage liens for unpaid rent and other charges. Bidding for property of persons renting space at the following locations will be held online at www.Storageauctions.com ending on February 20, 2024 at 12:00 pm, and day to day thereafter until sold at which time a high bidder will be determined. 350 Old Haymaker Road, Monroeville, Pa 14146: Unit #1725 Sevannah Baker, unit #3224 Jeff Morrison, Unit #3708 Paul Gaspard 1390 Old Freeport Road, Pittsburgh, Pa 15238: Unit #12406 Michele Burchfield, Unit #3108 Nicloe Verner 14200 Route 30, North Huntingdon, Pa 15642: Unit #1032 Jonathan S Dull, Unit #1147 Meghan Corcoran, Unit #3036 Kimberly N Hudzema, Unit 3409 Gerald Raible, Lawn Pros 4711 William Penn Highway, Monroeville, PA 15146: Unit #12526 Chris Harris, Unit #22502 David Abbott, Unit #22620 Keith Edmonds, Unit #23410 Anthony Tabron ll 4750 William Flynn Hwy, Allison Park, Pa 15101: Unit #12106 Paul Taimuty, Unit #13311 Sierra Hockenberry 1028 Ridge Road, Tarentum, Pa 15084: Unit #21120 Hannah Oleary, Unit 31119 Suzanne Vogel, Unit 31203 Suzanne Vogel, Unit 31205 Suzanne Vogel, Unit 31606 Suzanne Vogel, Unit #31714 Andre Wright, Unit #32205 Richard Vakulick, Unit #32301 Kyle Dudley, Unit #32316 Richard Vakulick, Unit#32426 Amanda Dietrich, Unit #41110 John Klucinec, Unit #41114 John Klucinec, Unit #41416 Rodney Harrison, Unit #41514 Pam Rieger 901 Brinton Road, Pittsburgh, Pa 15221: Unit #10203 Virgina Green, Unit #2127 Shane Kunkle, Unit 2205 Tina Johnson, Unit #2316 Virginia Green, Unit #6107 Latasha Washington, Unit #6121 Virginia Green, Unit #7114 Jayla Manison, Unit #7208 Shirley Dooley, Unit #8108 Adriano Carvalho, Unit #8205 Armstead Williams 5873 Centre Ave Pittsburgh, PA 15206: Unit #6611 Sherelle Taliaferro 2839 Liberty Ave, Pittsburgh, PA 15222: Unit #2511 Brian Dobbins, Unit #3408 Salim Snyder, Unit #5108 Traylon Johnson, Unit #5314 Taylor Malachi, Unit #5507 Sean McCormick, Unit #6502 Jimmese Glenn 750 South Millvale Ave, Pittsburgh, PA 15213: Unit #206 Mease Henderson, Unit #256 Graham Tan, Unit #324 Tuan Nguyen 1002 East Waterfront Drive, Munhall, PA 15120: Unit #1305 Calvin Humphries, Unit #1523 Monique Robinson, Unit #1806 Asheenia Johnson, Unit #2118 Ahmed Anthony, Unit #3504 Stacey Green, Unit #4204 DeChon Williams 1300 Lebanon Church Road, West Mifflin, PA 15236: Unit #14315 Zakaria Ways, Unit #21220 Christina Byrd, Unit #32412 Jeremiah Engel 1599 Washington Pike, Bridgeville, PA 15017: Unit #2302 Tomasina Arrigo, Unit #2510 James Dotten, Unit #3312 Cheryl Moore-Tomeo, Unit #53314 Pamela Cargile, Unit #6109 Charles McGough, Unit #6134 Michael Lindsey 1067 Milford Drive, Bethel Park, PA 15102: Unit #21103 Jeffrey Bullock 7452 McKnight Rd, Pittsburgh, PA 15237: Unit #2203 Jerome Bankston, Unit #2525 Rebeca Myszak, Unit #2755 Kenneth Hall, Unit #409 Nicole Bloomer, Unit #820 Salena Bauer 401 Coraopolis Rd, Coraopolis, PA 15108: Unit #13028 Lauretta Shelton, Unit #13101 Donna Morris, Unit #13104 Julien Shelton, Unit #22417 Lawrence Dennis 2670 Washington Rd, Canonsburg, PA 15317: Unit #3209 Jayme Marshall, Unit #4201 Danyel Marinski, Unit #4219 Barrie Eichberg Purchases must be made with cash and paid at the location at the above referenced facility to complete the transaction. Guardian Storage has the right to refuse any bid and may rescind any purchase up until the winning bidder takes possession of the personal property.

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER FEBRUARY 7-14, 2024

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