Jan. 3, 2018 - Pittsburgh City Paper

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EVENTS

FREE GOOD FRIDAYS Presented by UPMC Health Plan

1.11 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: BEYOND: CONCERT 1 FEATURING THE BEYOND FESTIVAL ORCHESTRA Carnegie Music Hall (Oakland) Co-presented by the Music on the Edge series of the University of Pittsburgh Department of Music Tickets $15/$10 students and seniors in advance, $20/$15 students and seniors at the door

1.12 – 7:30pm SOUND SERIES: BEYOND: CONCERT 2 FEATURING LOADBANG The Warhol theater Co-presented by the Music on the Edge series of the University of Pittsburgh Department of Music Tickets $15/$10 students and seniors in advance, $20/$15 students and seniors at the door

1.13 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: BEYOND: FINAL CONCERT FEATURING DAVID KRAKAUER AND ANCESTRAL GROOVE The Warhol entrance space Co-presented by the Music on the Edge series of the University of Pittsburgh Department of Music Tickets $15/$10 students and seniors in advance, $20/$15 students and seniors at the door

2.3 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: JENS LEKMAN The Warhol theater Co-presented with WYEP Free parking in The Warhol lot. Tickets $15/$12 members & students

2.9 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: THURSTON MOORE: MUSIC + RADIO RADIEUX: FILM The Warhol theater Tickets $25/$20 members & students

Tickets $25/$20 members & students

Enjoy free museum admission, special guest DJs, Gusto & Naeem and a cash bar. The Andy Warhol Museum receives state arts funding support through a grant from the Pennsylvania Council on the Arts, a state agency funded by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania; the National Endowment for the Arts, a federal agency and The Heinz Endowments. Further support is provided by the Allegheny Regional Asset District.

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The Pittsburgh presentation of Undressed is made possible by the Eden Hall Foundation. Additional support is provided by the EQT Foundation.

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THEFRICKPITTSBURGH.ORG Exhibition organized by the Victoria and Albert Museum, London

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.03/01.10.2018

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[EDITORIAL] Editor CHARLIE DEITCH News Editor REBECCA ADDISON Arts & Entertainment Editor BILL O’DRISCOLL Associate Editor AL HOFF Digital Editor ALEX GORDON Staff Writers RYAN DETO, CELINE ROBERTS Music Writer MEG FAIR Intern JAKE MYSLIWCZYK

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GENERAL POLICIES: Contents copyrighted 2018 by Eagle Media Corp. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission of the publisher. The opinions expressed in Pittsburgh City Paper are those of the author and not necessarily of Eagle Media Corp. LETTER POLICY: Letters, faxes or e-mails must be signed and include town and daytime phone number for confirmation. We may edit for length and clarity. DISTRIBUTION: Pittsburgh City Paper is published weekly by Eagle Media Corp. and is available free of charge at select distribution locations. One copy per reader; copies of past issues may be purchased for $3.00 each, payable in advance to Pittsburgh City Paper. FIRST CLASS MAIL SUBSCRIPTIONS: Available for $175 per year, $95 per half year. No refunds.

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THIS WEEK

“IF THE WAVE IS BIG ENOUGH, THEN THINGS CAN CHANGE.”

ONLINE

www.pghcitypaper.com

Despite the many tumultuous days, 2017 wasn’t all bad. Head over to City Paper’s Blogh to see which photos you liked most on our @pghcitypaper Instagram account last year. www.pghcitypaper.com

Struggling to stay afloat in the constantly swirling sea of political news? Check out CP’s Politicrap blog to read about the most important races and issues in our region.

CP recently reported on a racist video as part of our work with ProPublica’s Documenting Hate project aimed at collecting reports of hate crimes and bias incidents. If you’ve been a victim or a witness, tell us your story at www.pghcitypaper.com.

CITY PAPER

INTERACTIVE

Chef/owner of Dinette Sonja Finn (on the cover) and environmental advocate Erika Strassburger (above) are running for Pittsburgh City Council.

POLITICAL FORECAST M

Our featured photo from last week is by @crabbymum. Use #CPReaderArt to share your local photos with us for your chance to be featured next!

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ANY PEOPLE in the Pittsburgh region are more keyed into local politics than they have been for years. In 2016, with Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton hogging the election headlines, local races received little traction. For example, G. Terry Madonna, a political pollster and professor at Franklin & Marshall College, said in 2016 that the election between U.S. Rep. Keith Rothfus (R-Sewickley) and challenger Erin McClelland (D-Upper Burrell) had “no zip to it” and wasn’t “on anyone’s radar.” But in this year’s upcoming election, Rothfus has four Democratic opponents. Constituents have gathered regularly outside of his district offices all year, calling on him to hold a town-hall meeting to hear

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.03/01.10.2018

their concerns and protesting his support of Republican-backed causes like the recently passed tax bill. Similar left-leaning energy is present all over the Pittsburgh region,

Two special elections in the Pittsburgh region are already slated for 2018, and the governor’s and state legislature’s races could get interesting. {BY RYAN DETO} and throughout the Commonwealth. And experts are predicting a Democratic wave where liberals win seats in large numbers.

Even so, Republicans are making some gains in economically declining regions like Erie and Scranton. Madonna says 2018’s election could act as a bellwether of Pennsylvania’s changing political landscape. Either conservatives hold on to the gains they made in 2016, or liberals come back and overtake some traditionally Republican areas in the suburbs of Philadelphia and Pittsburgh. Locally, the race for Rothfus’ seat is just one of the many that might lead to changes in 2018. In fact, the Pittsburgh region will see two special elections decided before November, thanks to two politicians vacating their seats. Here’s Pittsburgh City Paper’s guide to the political races to watch this year.


Pittsburgh City Council, District 8, Special Election When Pittsburgh City Councilor Dan Gilman (D-Squirrel Hill) announced he would take over as Mayor Bill Peduto’s chief of staff in 2018, it wasn’t a shock to many. Gilman was Peduto’s chief of staff during the mayor’s years on city council; their ties in city government are strong. But after Gilman’s announcement, some excitement was quickly injected into the race to replace him. Sonja Finn, the chef and owner of Dinette in East Liberty, threw her name into the race and was quickly followed by Gilman’s chief of staff, Erika Strassburger. With Finn’s name recognition and status (she was featured on the Pittsburgh episode of Anthony Bourdain’s Parts Unknown) and Strassburger’s experience working in council, along with an endorsement by Gilman, the race for Pittsburgh’s next city councilor is sure to be lively. Finn, of Point Breeze, says she was compelled to run because she feels she’s “really rooted in District 8.” The Pittsburgh native moved back home more than a decade ago after working as a chef in San Francisco. Since then, she opened Dinette, has been involved at her son’s school, Linden K-5 in Point Breeze, and has advocated in Washington, D.C., for food-justice programs. If she’s elected, Finn says she will focus on equitable development, so that the growth in the East End is experienced by all its residents. Finn says she can bring outside experience that can benefit council, particularly in its push to provide paid sick days to employees in the city, which received criticism from restaurant-industry lobbying groups and was eventually blocked in the courts. “There has to be someone there who actu-

State Rep. Rick Saccone (left) and former U.S. Attorney Conor Lamb (right) will face off in a March special election for a U.S. House seat.

ally has an idea on how these businesses actually work,” says Finn, citing her success owning and operating Dinette for 10 years, while paying her employees fair wages and offering them benefits. “With expertise, [council] might not get the push-back from the industry.” Strassburger, of Squirrel Hill, says she has wanted to be a leader since she moved to Pittsburgh in 2009. After Trump’s elec-

tion, and participating in the Women’s March in Washington, she jumped at the chance to fill the District 8 seat. She’s been dismayed at Trump’s policies and the sexual-assault allegations made against him. She’s also been awoken to the comparatively tiny role women have in all levels of Pennsylvania government. “I vowed to myself that if I had the opportunity to run, I would take that

chance,” says Strassburger. She believes her role as Gilman’s chief of staff can easily transition into a successful term on city council. “I excel at working with the community directly and getting them the resources they need,” says Strassburger. “That might seem difficult for people, but I absolutely love it, that is not a job for me.” But Strassburger touts more than her CONTINUES ON PG. 08

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POLITCAL FORECAST, CONTINUED FROM PG. 07

experience working for council in District 8. She believes her time as an environmental advocate in New Hampshire would be valuable if she were to sit on council, particularly with its ongoing struggles with the Pittsburgh Water and Sewer Authority. “I spent a decade fighting for clean water, and right now the PWSA has $4 billion in capital needs and a federal mandate to lower lead levels,” says Strassburger. “We have to keep water publicly owned, but make sure important changes are implemented. Green infrastructure needs to be a priority first, and I believe there are ways to raise money for that.” The special election for Pittsburgh City Council District 8 will be set by council president Bruce Kraus after Gilman officially resigns on Jan. 3, and will likely be held within a few months.

U.S. House, District 18, Special Election The Pittsburgh region has another special election due for early 2018, and this one could have national implications. Conor Lamb, a Democrat from Mount Lebanon, will face Pennsylvania State Rep. Rick Saccone (R-Elizabeth) to fill the vacant seat in Pennsylvania’s 18th Congressional District. The seat was vacated when former U.S. Rep. Tim Murphy (R-Upper St. Clair)

resigned following a scandal involving an extramarital affair. Political expert Madonna says Saccone is currently favored, as the district is fairly conservative. But the race has gotten more attention thanks to Democrat Doug Jones’ upset win in deep-red Alabama. Additionally, political-prediction site the Cook Political Report has been grading the district as less Republican over the past few months. There are similarities to Alabama’s senate race. While no serious allegations of misconduct have been levied against Saccone, as there were with Jones’ opponent, Roy Moore, Saccone has a deeply conservative record as a state legislator: He opposed same-sex marriage, attempted to loosen gun laws, and tried to inject Christian theocracy into state government and public schools. By contrast, Lamb, like Jones, is mild-mannered and liberal, and has worked as a prosecutor. (Lamb prosecuted heroin dealers in Western Pennsylvania, while Jones successfully prosecuted Ku Klux Klan members who in 1963 bombed a church in Alabama.) Madonna notes that Jones won due largely to Alabama’s significant AfricanAmerican electorate, and that PA-18 has few black voters. He says it would be a big upset if Lamb were to win, and that Lamb is

going to have to energize suburban voters, particular women, to even have a chance. But Madonna says that if Lamb were to win the district, Democrats could be energized nationally. “If this election was to be an upset and a Dem were to win,” says Madonna, “this would be huge prognosticator to the midterms, which are already looking like potentially a Democratic wave.” The special election for PA-18 will be held on March 18.

Pennsylvania Governor, General Election Pittsburghers are likely already aware of the race for the governor’s mansion, as candidates have already run ads touting their campaigns. Gov. Tom Wolf, a Democrat, and contenders, business consultant and Republican Paul Mango and state Sen. Scott Wagner (R-York), all have released TV ads. Pennsylvania House Speaker Mike Turzai (RMarshall) is also running for governor, and has created online ads, but no TV ads yet. Madonna says, given the energy on the left and the fact that Wolf’s job performance remains positive, the race for governor currently leans Democratic. He notes that Wolf didn’t take much heat for 2017’s

budget shortfall, and it’s unlikely another budget stalemate will occur in 2018, since Turzai, who has the power to start a budget stalemate, could be reluctant to start another one. “Turzai wants to get on the campaign trail, and not focus on a stalemate,” says Madonna. “It doesn’t help anybody if there is a budget stalemate.” Madonna notes the success in 2017 of Republicans statewide, like state Supreme Court justice Sallie Mundy’s victory, but believes that odds are against Republicans in the governor’s race. He even says there is a possibility for Democrats to pick up a good amount of seats in the state legislature, if the predicted Democratic voter wave is big enough. (For example, there are eight Republican-held state Senate seats with strong potential to flip, because those districts were carried by Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton in 2016.) “If the wave is big enough, where you get unequal turnout where Democrats come out and Republicans stay home, then things can change,” says Madonna. “The wave also has potential to really help Wolf, too.” RYA N D E TO@ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

JENSORENSEN

Saturday, January 6 11:00 a.m.- 4:00 p.m. Ű North Park Ice Rink Regular rink admission applies Each paid admission earns an entry to a drawing for a pair of Penguins tickets! Join us for a day of hockey and family fun! Through the Penguins Foundation’s Give Hockey a Shot program, kids can try on hockey equipment and then hit the ice with former Stanley Cup Champion Tyler Kennedy and Penguins mascot Iceburgh from 11:30 am-1:30 pm. Kids and families can enjoy face painting, balloon art, food and fun!

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IN THE CARDS

Four of Cups “This card is about unexpected opportunities. It’s saying, ‘Think outside of the box, but also expect opportunities.’ For instance, Amazon. It also says, ‘Take a moment to rest and think about what kind of city we want to have in 2018.’”

A tarot reading for Pittsburgh predicts sanctuary city, prosperity and more sparring with Trump {BY REBECCA ADDISON}

King of Swords

IN THESE uncertain times, it often feels

like an astrologer could predict what’s going to happen more accurately than could political pundits, economic analysts and local meteorologists. So City Paper talked to Angel Lozada, a Puerto Rican-born psychic with Journeys of Life, a Pittsburghbased psychic community, to find out what’s in store for Pittsburgh in 2018. Overall, Lozada says the Yoruban goddess Oshun will continue to protect the city in 2018. Oshun is considered the mother of Africa’s fresh and salt water, and relates to Pittsburgh because of the three rivers. “This year — in spite of the upcoming difficulties — is blessed by her energy,” Lozada says. “For people having difficulties, the best place to pray is the Point, because that is the vortex of her energy.” From a 10-card tarot reading, Lozada divines that Pittsburgh is poised to become a sanctuary city, welcoming to immigrants, in 2018; that Mayor Bill Peduto would continue to stand up to Donald Trump; and that the city would continue to prosper from our educational, medical and technology economies. But his reading also carries a warning: Prosperity will continue here only if everyone benefits from it. “This reading is blessed economically,” Lozado says. “But we have to share it. We only prosper when the least among us prospers.”

“This says to not be afraid of using facts and science. The King of Swords is a king that rules with science, not the way some people want to run the United States. It also says there is so much intellectual capital here, that is the knowledge we should seek when we plan.”

The Emperor

resources and a city that should always be welcoming and opening the doors to everyone. It means that making Pittsburgh a sanctuary city should be its first priority.”

Six of Cups “This is true love, and it’s usually represented by a child giving flowers to an old woman. What it’s saying is, if you’re going to be successful, you have to take care of your elders, you have to take care of those less fortunate.”

Ace of Pentacles “In terms of finances, it’s looking very good this year for Pittsburgh. This card is saying the city isn’t going to have any problems with finances.”

Ten of Pentacles

Knight of Swords

“The gates are surrounded with money. It represents a city that has economic

“The actions the city should take are based on this card. It’s saying, ‘Don’t be

afraid of the technology.’ We have a very big technology sector.”

King of Rods “Between the Knight of Swords and the King of Rods, that’s probably directed at the mayor. Think technology, think hospitals, think education, but don’t forget building stuff.”

Six of Swords “With this card, you have a person riding a boat in the middle of the river and taking one person from one island to the other. Basically what it’s saying is that our approach should always be to be multicultural, to be bringing cultures together.”

Three of Rods “It says it’s going to be a year where we have to plan for the future. This is about thinking long-term.”

“The Emperor rules by force and not by knowledge. Pretty much all of the advice I have given here is advice that places the city head-to-head in confrontation with Donald Trump. I am going to make a prediction. The city has to show the way of doing the right thing irrespectively of whether the Emperor, who has no clothes, agrees with it or not. If you do that, I predict we’ll have an extraordinary future.” Lozada is cognizant that the reading is geared largely to politics. But he says that in the current climate, he’s been thinking about the role of astrologers in society. “We have to get back to the tradition of those witches who were burned at the stake, not because they were cooking potions, but because they were standing against patriarchy, because they were standing against forces of injustice,” Lozada says. On Jan. 5, Journey of Life will host Cards and Stars for 2018, an event where Lozada and master astrologer Judi Vitale will share insights into the year ahead. For more information, visit journeysoflife.com. RA D D I S ON @ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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DO AS I SAY {BY CHARLIE DEITCH} WHEN IT COMES to New Year’s resolutions,

I’m really good at making them and really bad at keeping them. But where I really shine is making resolutions for other people. So, here is some advice that other people should take in the new year.

PRESENTS:

Gov. Tom Wolf For your New Year’s resolution, Gov. Wolf, please resolve to run on your record when you stand for re-election in 2018. In 2014, you ran a solid campaign that saw you use your own money to buy TV commercials and take your story directly to the voters. It worked. Despite never holding public office or living in the public eye, you sold your story your way to the voters and they bought in. You were the outsider candidate who was going to run things differently. So, on the campaign trail, you need to show the citizens of the Commonwealth what you accomplished. Because to be honest, a lot of people aren’t sure. You never once passed an on-time budget, although you did manage to restore funding to things like public schools. But the fact is, you’re not an outsider anymore. You can’t run on taglines and a good story this time. The voters are going to want to see your record of accomplishment

Bob Nutting and the Pittsburgh Pirates front office This organization needs to finally commit to winning. The Buccos front office often says it’s committed to winning, but the results at the end of the year tell a different story. The Pirates are expected to get roughly $50 million in revenue-sharing this year, and Forbes listed the team as Major League Baseball’s 17th most valuable (out of 30) in 2017, worth about $1.25 billion. However, the team is 20th in payroll, spending just over $75 million — more than $20 million less than average. Fans live in a constant rumor-churn about our best players being traded to build for the future. Well, some of us aren’t getting any younger and neither are superstars like McCutchen. Spend some money for once and resolve to finally be a winner.

State Rep. Daryl Metcalfe I know it seems like I constantly beat up on this Butler County Republican. Well, that would be because I actually do. But, this advice is genuine and heartfelt. In 2018, Daryl Metcalfe must resolve to be more positive and more honest. You have made a career out of attacking things that you don’t believe in. You have sponsored legislation that

February 1-13 MORE THAN 40 EVENTS AT OVER 25 NORTHSIDE VENUES!

Gov. Tom Wolf

has led myself and others to conclude that you’re racist, homophobic, xenophobic, anti-science, anti-tolerance and anti-anyone-different-from-yourself. So, by saying you need to be more positive, I don’t mean you should think the way I think. But instead of writing legislation to hurt groups of people or ideas you dislike, maybe concentrate on more positive endeavors. Work for your constituents instead of working against other people. Stop obstructing the will of the people. You kill legislation in your committee because you don’t agree with it, like laws to protect against LGBT discrimination. Let these measures go forward for an honest debate and vote, instead of acting like an executioner of laws you’re against. If you can’t do that, then be honest with yourself and others. Own your bigotry and prejudice and stop pretending that you work for the people of Pennsylvania when you, in fact, work only for your narrow-minded agenda.

Mardi Gras Kick off Party February 1 6-9PM Priory Grand Hall

Filmmaker John Sayles You, sir, should resolve to make another baseball movie. Eight Men Out is one of the greatest baseball films ever made. This time, however, you should do a Pittsburgh baseball story. I’ve even got some suggestions. How about a picture about the 1980s Pittsburgh Pirates drug trials? Everyone from Willie Stargell to the Pirate Parrot was dragged into that one. Or, the one I really favor, The Al Oliver Story, about an underrated player and, in my opinion, a Hall of Fame oversight. He was never given fair treatment here by the fans and even received death threats because he was black and labeled “cocky.” You could even start the second act of the film with Oliver being part of MLB’s first all-black starting lineup. The idea is free; just invite me to the premiere. Oh, and make me an executive producer.

Music! Food! Drinks! Saless! More!

Fat Tuesday Party February 13 7:30PM Alle Allegheny Elks $10 at the door pittsburghnorthside.com/mardigras

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News of the Weird {COMPILED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL PUBLISHING}

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Two American tourists, Joseph Dasilva, 38, and Travis Dasilva, 36, of San Diego, were arrested in Bangkok, Thailand, on Nov. 28 and detained in an immigration detention center after they posted a “butt-selfie” on Instagram, taken in front of the Buddhist temple Wat Arun, or Temple of the Dawn. The pair’s Instagram account, traveling_butts, showcased their hindquarters at tourist sites around the world, but it was deleted shortly after the arrests. District police chief Jaruphat Thongkomol told Reuters that the two would also be fined for a similar photo at a different temple.

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In Birmingham, England, renowned 53-year-old surgeon Simon Bramhall pleaded guilty on Dec. 13 to branding his initials onto human livers using an argon beam during transplant surgeries. A colleague first noticed the initials “S.B.” in 2013 on an organ during a follow-up surgery, which sparked an investigation, the Guardian reported. Bramhall resigned in 2014 and acknowledged that marking his patients’ livers had been a mistake. But former patient Tracy Scriven of Dyrham, Wiltshire, told the Birmingham Mail that he should be reinstated. “Is it really that bad? I wouldn’t have cared if he did it to me. The man saved my life.”

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Jesse Berube, 32, of Rocklin, Calif., tried using a favorite trick of Old St. Nick — but he got stuck in the chimney of a Citrus Heights business he was trying to rob on Dec. 13 and had to call police for help. ABC News reported that Sacramento firefighters responded and used special equipment to free Berube, who now faces one count of burglary. Citrus Heights police said Berube “does not have the same skills as the real deal.”

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An unnamed newborn boy underwent surgery at the Scientific Research Institute of Pediatrics in Baku, Azerbaijan, to remove a small remainder of a parasitic twin that had attached itself to the baby’s back: a penis. Gunduz Agayev, head of the institute’s neonatology department, reported to Metro News in December that the baby “has a normal sexual organ where it is supposed to be” and “the penis on the back ... has been surgically removed.” The newborn was not traumatized by the surgery and is already at home with his parents, the doctor said.

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Lorette Taylor of Burlington, Ontario, Canada, responsible for meting out her family’s inheritance after her father’s death, sent a bank draft last February to her brother, Louis Paul Hebert, for $846,648.46 via UPS. Hebert waited at his local UPS store for the check to arrive — but nothing came in. “I came back in the evening. Nothing shows up,” he told the CBC. UPS could trace the package only to its distribution center north of Toronto, so along with an apology for Hebert’s inconvenience, UPS refunded the $32 shipping fee. Taylor’s bank, TD Canada Trust, initially assured her the

check would be canceled, but two days later refused to issue a new draft until Taylor signed an indemnity agreement making her and her heirs liable for life should the original check be cashed. Not only that, the bank then asked her to put up collateral against the new bank draft, but that request was later recalled. Finally, 10 months after the whole ordeal began, the bank released the money, and Hebert, at press time in December, was making the 273-mile drive to pick up the check in person.

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British model Chloe Hammond, 27, also known as Chloe Rebelle, succumbed to a fit of road rage on March 19 when Julie Holloway, 56, tapped on her car window to ask her to stop using her phone while driving in traffic in London. Metro News reports that Hammond responded by parking her Audi TT and then “came out of nowhere” toward Holloway, kicking her in the stomach, grabbing Holloway’s hair and biting off a piece of her ear. Holloway, bloodied and disturbed, didn’t realize part of her ear was missing until someone “picked it up off the floor.” In October, Hammond was convicted of causing grievous bodily harm with intent in Southwark Crown Court, and on Dec. 18, a judge sentenced her to five years in jail.

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An employee at a TCBY yogurt shop in Matthews, N.C., got a surprise while opening three packages delivered to the store — filled with $220,000 worth of marijuana. Upon further investigation, the store told WSOC-TV, the packages had been delivered mistakenly and were meant for a P.O. box at the postal store next door. While the origin of the packages is still unknown, the drugs and the recipient’s information have been turned over to police, who report that no arrests have been made.

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The Mirror reports that a flight attendant with Urumqi Air in China has been suspended after a co-worker captured her on video eating from in-flight meals meant for passengers. In the video, a line of open meals is on a shelf in front of the female attendant, who samples from at least two of them with a spoon. The airline said in a statement that the meals were leftovers not handed out to passengers, and it was launching a full investigation.

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Visitors to South Korea for the Winter Olympics may want to make a side trip to Haesindang Park near the coastal town of Sinnam. The park, also known as Penis Park, opened to the public in 2007 and was dedicated to the memory of a virgin bride-to-be left behind by her fisherman fiancé. Locals told the Mirror that after being abandoned, the bride was swept out to sea and drowned, causing fish to leave the area. Now her spirit can only be soothed by the sight of male genitalia. The park features nearly 300 erect phallus statues, and about 12,000 visitors take in the titillating sights each year, most of them women.

S E N D YO U R W E IRD N E W S ITE M S TO WE I RD N E W S T I P S@ AM UNI V E R S AL . C O M .

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.03/01.10.2018


NOW HIRING

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FOR DIRECT SUPPORT PROFESSIONALS! Seeking compassionate individuals to work in our residential homes throughout Greater Pittsburgh

For question or to pre-register call 724-933-5100 ext. 142 • WALK-INS WELCOME! www.invisionhs.org/careers EEO EMPLOYER

Great Benefits • Paid Time Off • Extensive Paid Training Traditional & Non-Traditional Hours Available Interested in a finding out more about this exciting opportunity? Attend our Open Interviews and start a new career in the New Year! NEWS

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LISTEN AS YOU READ: SCAN THE CODE FOR OUR NEW SPOTIFY PLAYLIST, A SOUNDTRACK TO THE STORIES IN THIS SECTION, OR VISIT WWW.PGHCITYPAPER.COM/BLOGS/FFW/

NEW LOCAL RELEASES {BY MEG FAIR}

This Is the Best Day Ever LAUGH MORE, YOU’RE DYING TODAYISTHEBESTDAYEVER. BANDCAMP.COM/RELEASES

Laugh More, You’re Dying is an EP about pain and hope. From family illness and the death of a dear friend to fear of the future, This Is The Best Day Ever uses its emo punk as a vehicle for telling hard stories as a form of catharsis. The vocals are full of tight staccato, producing a unique phrasing that blurs the line between singing and spoken word. This is most noticeable on the opener, “The Spaces Between Each Step,” and in the final lines of “Laugh More, You’re Dying.” It enbraces that “emo revival” sound and feel that inspires the band. The EP’s closer, “Raggedy Ann,” fully leans into spoken word to express the anguish of seeing one’s mother, a poet herself, stuck in a hospital bed. The trumpet on “Beechview Trim” and “White Trash” adds a little flair to the three-piece’s sturdy songwriting, and is also a callback to early emo. In the EP’s quieter moments, such as “White Trash,” listeners hear the story of a young man who grows up in poverty, a point of ridicule for his peers. Now that’s he’s moved on to a fancy college, he has no idea what to do with his former reality. It’s a feeling many first-generation students can relate to, but it’s a topic seldom brought up in college conversations. “Laugh More You’re Dying” is one of the more emotive tracks on the record; it’s a song about a friend who passed away as a result of addiction. A song like this feels particularly pressing in light of the opioid epidemic’s stranglehold, especially in Western PA. The vocals’ gentle restraint at the end of the song embody the feelings of hurt and regret, that feeling of blaming yourself even though there’s nothing you could really do anyway. This Is the Best Day Ever avoids the trappings of stereotypical emo by not including any songs about failed romantic relationships. Instead, the darker, harder topics make the EP feel much more mature and nuanced.

E R O M E, S A E L P E S A E L P S LES The Childlike Empress plays a benefit for Planned Parenthood at The Glitter Box Theater in 2017, top left; The Mr. Roboto Project, bottom

S FAR AS I’m concerned, 2017 was an awesome year for Pittsburgh music. .I can rattle off more EPs and albums that blew my mind than I can count on my fingers and toes, and there were so many memorable concerts within Pittsburgh’s incredible music community. But now that 2017 is in the rearview, I’d like to join in with a little game of More Please, Less Please to signal what would be even more awesome this year.

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of course) can go a long way. These benefit shows are also great because they are well suited for all-local shows. Rather than worrying about a guarantee, promoters can book some of the best local talent on one show, support those bands fiscally and grow a community-based scene that doesn’t just come out to see cool touring bands. Additionally, local bands generally do (and should!) support causes in the city, anyway. Everybody wins!

MORE PLEASE BENEFIT SHOWS

COMMUNITY VENUES

Some of the best shows of the year were put on for a good cause. It’s not hard to turn a successful gig into a benefit of some sort, especially if you plan and promote well. There are still many people in Puerto Rico and Mexico who are recovering from hurricane damage; Planned Parenthood is constantly in need of support (thanks, Trump!); and there are amazing hyper-local spaces like Pittsburgh Action Against Rape, Persad and the GLCC that would appreciate the help. Even putting a small portion of a show’s profits (if you’re more than breaking even,

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The Glitter Box Theater is not specifically a music venue, but it is a venue that is home to music. It’s a great spot with amenities that make it accessible to a much wider swath of the community, and the affordable room fee is helpful for folks booking all-ages and benefit shows. It feels cozy and comfortable, and that makes it a perfect home not just for shows, but also for workshops, meetings and collaborative events. The fine folks at WelcomBak are also doing notable work at the intersection of education, art and music. Combining creativity and education brings people together, and to see spots like this pop up is very reassuring.

For years, the Mr. Roboto Project has been a hub for all-ages shows and community gatherings. Its membership model encourages engagement, but it would be even better if more high schoolers could become members, and if its regular performers got involved. It’s the kind of place where mentorship could be easily fostered. But that’s difficult to establish if people aren’t interested in getting engaged, and the staff is overworked as it is. The city’s ordinances about venues and noise are troublesome and complex, especially once liquor gets involved, so I understand the hesitation, but there are many empty storefronts just begging to be transformed into outlets for creativity. If there are any wealthy folks out there who claim to want to make Pittsburgh a model city of the future, I urge you to put your money into the arts, because without them, the city is nothing. As big corporations move in, it’s important that as a community we make sure to protect and grow our scene and its spaces.

ALL-AGES SHOWS THAT EVERYONE GOES TO Again, I know the Liquor Control Board’s rules are pretty crazy around these parts,


but we have to find a way to book all-ages shows that will foster friendship and engagement between the younger and older members of our community. I understand that for legal reasons a lot of venues doing all-ages shows have to fence off the drinking part of the room. But often that means the 21-and-older crowd will hide in the back or on the side all night and not interact with anybody new. On the other hand, it’s time for the drinking crowd to nut up and just go to shows that are dry. If you can’t go three hours without a beer, there’s a bigger problem. (You can always drink a little before you roll up to a dry space.) Be innovative, be respectful, and stop being a baby. Good music doesn’t just exist in bars! It’s silly to miss out on an entire pocket of the scene because of your commitment to PBR, however admirable that is.

ULTRA-DIVE THURS JAN 4TH

It’s not that often that Pittsburgh bands act self-important, or are rude to others, but the few that do are hard to forget. We live in a city full of incredible talent, but as a community, we’re nothing if we don’t help each other out. Theoretically, a rising tide should life all boats, but that’s of little use if bands are poking holes in each other’s ships.

The name Benny Benack has been synonymous with Pittsburgh jazz for more than two generations. Trumpeter Benny Benack Sr. led a big band and recorded the single, “Beat ’Em Bucs,” which cheered on the 1960 Pirates. Junior became a saxophonist, and has played with a variety of local musicians. And Benny Benack III has mastered his grandfather’s instrument, in addition to developing some vocal chops that could offer a career as a crooner. While Benack has played around the Pittsburgh jazz scene, he has been developing a reputation in New York City, where he recorded One of a Kind. The album includes eight original ONE OF A KIND compositions, BB3 PRODUCTIONS one by pianist WWW.BENNY Emmet Cohen and BENACKJAZZ.COM three wide-ranging covers. Along with Cohen, the solid group of players contributing includes bassist Alex Claffy, drummer Ulysses Owens Jr., saxophonist Joel Frahm and guitarist Yotam Silberstein. The album reveals both sides of Benack, as a vocalist and musical soloist. The title track combines both, as he sings the full chorus of the song, launching immediately into a trumpet solo, followed by another from Cohen. As a vocalist, he balances his crisp delivery with a bit of grit in his phrasing, perhaps borrowing a concept from his trumpet playing. It ensures that the vocals have immediacy without sounding slick or stylized, a pitfall that impacts some vocalists who try to evoke the classic style of Frank Sinatra or Tony Bennett. Additionally, Benack comes across as a strong writer, particularly with the bossa nova groove of “Kiss Me Slowly.” Versions of Burt Bacharach’s “Close to You” and the standard, “I Only Have Eyes for You,” add some swing to their structures, but they aren’t as successful as the originals. Although vocalists get more attention than instrumentalists, Benack’s horn playing could support a whole album on its own. The band evokes the hard-bop era of the ’60s, especially when Frahm’s tenor blends with the trumpet on the front line. More than simply paying tribute to that era, the members play with the same drive and intensity that made that source so influential in the first place. After this strong debut, it will be interesting to see where Benack goes next.

ME GFA IR @ PGHC ITY PAP ER.CO M

I NF O @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

LESS PLEASE VENUE SHUTDOWNS James Street Gastropub and Speakeasy closing this year created a blow to the scene, since James Street accommodated many different musical genres and events in its multiple rooms. As it is now, we have to protect what venues we do still have, while fostering a diversity of sounds at those venues. Eliminating the niches will open up the community and connect different scenes to one another.

SHOWS WITH TOO MANY BANDS If there are more than four bands on your bill, it will take everything in my power to motivate myself to get to that gig. Unless each band is a blistering hardcore band or noise artist whose set will take 15 minutes or less, you are imposing an evil form of cruel and unusual punishment by making people show up for a show that won’t end until past midnight, because there are seven bands playing half-hour plus sets. (This is especially bad when punktime has these gigs starting an hour after they’re supposed to.) Even if all the bands are awesome, it’s just too much of a good thing. It’s better to leave the crowd wanting more, than having folks lose steam and bail early. I’m personally a huge fan of the three-band gig. Short, sweet, sick.

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BELVEDERES

SINGER AND PLAYER {BY MIKE SHANLEY}

COVEN DARK DANCE DJS DUSTY & KILLJOY

FRI JAN 5TH

STRANGEWAYS PRESENTS FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS BOWIE VS. BOWIE

SAT JAN 6TH

90S NIGHT W/ DJS SEAN MC & THERMOS MON: SILENT DISCO YOGA TUES: KARAOKE

Benny Benack III

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4016 BUTLER STREET PITTSBURGH, PA 15201 412-687-2555 WWW.BELVEDERESULTRADIVE.COM

LET S GET ’

S CIAL

)ROORZ XV WR ƓQG RXW ZKDWōV KDSSHQLQJ @PGHCITYPAPER Ř FACEBOOK.COM/PITTSBURGHCITYPAPER +

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{PHOTO COURTESY OF NEDDA AFSARI}

St. Vincent

FEAR THE FUTURE {BY MEG FAIR} ST. VINCENT HAS done very few interviews this album cycle, and the few that she has are curated by the location in which they take place. Nothing is done over email or phone. In doing so, she’s had control over the environment and the nature of the conversations. This may be frustrating for writers at smaller publications such as myself, but I’m not bothered by the lack of access. Everything I need to know about this album is carefully laid out in the lyric sheet, and in each aching guitar and synth swell. MASSEDUCTION was marketed in a highly stylized way, such as one would expect from a Lady Gaga or Beyoncé album. The album’s cover, featuring a neon-pink background with Annie Clark (the artist behind St. Vincent) bent over in a cheetah-print thonged unitard, felt flashy and kind of grimy. Each music video that was released popped with bright colors and avant-garde costuming. The marketing paired larger-than-life trappings with singles holding enormous sonic power. It created some distance from Clark and St. Vincent, emphasizing instead this other theatrical character or persona. Not all fans were on board with this posturing, but upon the release of the full album, it all came together. MASSEDUCTION is a record about heartbreak, unhealthy coping mechanisms and consuming sadness. It’s the closest we’ve come to Clark’s mind and the pain she feels, which is pretty remarkable given the emotive power of her prior releases. The stylization and persona-crafting here seem to be

a defense mechanism, creating a healthy distance between herself and the intensely sensitive content hidden under the poppy synth work and filthy riffs. The piano-based ballad, “Happy Birthday, Johnny,” is a prime example of this vulnerability. Clark sings the story of her tumultuous falling out with Johnny, a character that appears on each record. Johnny turns on Clark, asking, “What happened to blood, our family? Annie, how could you do this to me?” to which Clark reflects with a strained tone, “Of course, I blame me.” If the lyrics weren’t gutting enough, the appearance of a sadly crooning steel guitar guarantees that lump forming in your throat as you choke back warm tears.

ST. VINCENT 7 p.m. Tue., Jan., 9. Stage AE, 400 North Shore Drive, North Side. $33.50-169. www.ticketmaster.com

“Fear the Future,” the track that St. Vincent’s current tour gets its name from, is a desperate plea for clarity, for any sort of information that can prepare Clark for an uncertain future. It’s surrounded by skittering synths and epic guitar work, the kind of sound typically associated with her music. But instead of Clark playing narrator, it’s clear that it is Clark herself who is begging for the answers. The Fear the Future tour, during which Clark has been performing MASSEDUCTION in its entirety, will bring that vulnerability center stage, as Clark stares down a crowd of people who now know her fears and pains. It’s at this juncture that the most amazing, intense emotional connection is possible with an artist, and I for one cannot wait to see the sparks. M E G FA I R@ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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CRITICS’ PICKS {PHOTO COURTESY OF KENDRA ELISE PHOTOGRAPHY}

Infernal Coil [HXC] + FRI., JAN. 05

[TRIBUTE] + SAT., JAN. 06

{PHOTO COURTESY OF DYLAN MONDSCHEIN}

’Tis the season to listen to music that sounds like freezing to death in the icy wilderness of a Nordic forest, right? Tonight at the Mr. Roboto Project, grinding black/death-metal band Infernal Coil, of Boise, Idaho, will be taking the stage to transport you to that dark place. Infernal Coil will be joined by Black Mask and UNFURL, two of Pittsburgh’s most unforgivingly heavy bands. Also, this lineup is an ideal three-band zinger. Meg Fair 7:30 p.m. 5106 Penn Ave., Bloomfield. $10. All ages. www. robotoproject.org

Better raise your ears: The Four Horsemen ride into Jergel’s Rhythm Grille tonight. This Metallica tribute band focuses heavily on the golden-era ’80s material and has the chops (and flowing locks) to back it up. A quick perusal of its YouTube videos is enough to get even the mildest Metallica fan on board. Turbo Lovers opens. Alex Gordon 6 p.m. 103 Slade Lane, Warrendale. $15-20. Minors under 21 must be accompanied by parent or legal guardian. www.jergels.com

[POP] + SAT., JAN. 06 Courtship is the kind of bouncy, minimalist pop band that will have you shedding your many squishy winter layers, and throwing aside your hat and scarf to boogie down and stomp out those nasty cold-weather blues. Think Vampire Weekend, Foster the People, HAIM and Two Door Cinema Club — all the delightful drum machines and synths, with touches of live guitar and playful falsetto. Be sure to wear something sensible under all those layers, so you don’t

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sweat through your coat as you dance the night away at Cattivo. MF 6:30 p.m. 146 44th St., Lawrenceville. $10-12. All ages. 412-687-2157 or www.cattivopgh.com

[PUNK] + SAT., JAN. 06 The Mr. Roboto Project is back at it again with a bouncy fun one for all the ages. Cottontail, of Philadelphia, will be serving up some wildly sentimental pop music with an anarchist bent (yes, Madison really). Also from Douglas Philly and playing tonight is Great Weights, a ’90sinspired emo-tinged rock band. Michael Jordan Touchdown Pass (a great fucking band name) is also rocking this gig with a full band, showing us what Vermont’s jangly folk-pop scene has to offer. The melodic punk angels of Calyx and sugary pop of Soda Club will remind you that Pittsburgh music rocks, too. MF 7 p.m. 5106 Penn Ave., Bloomfield. $8. All ages. www.robotoproject.org

[SINGER/SONGWRITER] + WED., JAN. 10 Mr. Smalls Funhouse is one of those venues that feels incredibly intimate. It’s the kind of spot where you’d catch a band or see a performer for the first time, only to watch them blossom later at gigs in Mr. Smalls main room, or even become bigger-venue superstars. All three of the performers at the Funhouse tonight have that potential. See them up close now, just in case. The gig features pop/R&B singer Madison Douglas, alternative pop brain Evan Isaac and funky writer Jordan Kaye. MF 8 p.m. 400 Lincoln Ave., Millvale. $8-10. All ages. 412-821-4447 or www.mrsmalls.com

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TO SUBMIT A LISTING: WWW.PGHCITYPAPER.COM/HAPPENINGS {ALL LISTINGS MUST BE SUBMITTED BY 9 A.M. FRIDAY PRIOR TO PUBLICATION}

THE FLATS ON CARSON. Pete Butta. 10 p.m. South Side. 412-586-7644. ONE 10 LOUNGE. DJ Goodnight, DJ Rojo. 9 p.m. Downtown. 412-874-4582. RUGGER’S PUB. 80s Night w/ DJ Connor. 9 p.m. South Side. 412-381-1330.

ROCK/POP FRI 05

DIESEL. Echoes Never Lie, Over My Dead Body, Kaelber Redson. Winter Rock Challenge - Round 1. 7 p.m. South Side. 412-431-8800. FULL PINT WILD SIDE. Sweaty Already String CATTIVO. Illusions. Band, Ezra’s w/ Funerals & Authentic Snake www. per Arvin Clay. 9 p.m. Elixir. 9 p.m. a p ty pghci m Lawrenceville. Lawrenceville. .co 412-687-2157. 412-408-3083. HOWLERS. Paul Labrise DIESEL. DJ CK. 10 p.m. Band, Scott Fry Experience, South Side. 412-431-8800. Elkhound. 9 p.m. Bloomfield. PERLE CHAMPAGNE 412-682-0320. BAR. DJ Tenova. Ladies night. 9 p.m. Downtown. 412-471-2058. BAJA BAR AND GRILL. SPIRIT HALL & LODGE. Steeltown Band. 9 p.m. TITLE TOWN Soul & Funk Fox Chapel. 412-963-0640. Party. Rare Soul, Funk & DOWNEY’S HOUSE. wild R&B 45s feat. DJ Gordy G. Shot O Soul. 9:30 p.m. & J.Malls. 9 p.m. Lawrenceville. Robinson. 412-489-5631. 412-586-4441. FRANKIE I’S. King’s Ransom.

SAT 06 FULL LIST E ONLIN

SAT 06

9:30 p.m. Washington. 724-743-3636. OBEY HOUSE. Gone South. 9 p.m. Crafton. 412-922-3883.

SUN 07 HOWLERS. Black Naked Wings w/ The Me Toos & Paddy The Wanderer. 8 p.m. Bloomfield. 412-682-0320. THE R BAR. Billy the Kid’s Steel Town All-Stars. 7 p.m. Dormont. 412-942-0882.

TUE 09 THE GOLDMARK. Pete Butta. Reggae & dancehall. 10 p.m. Lawrenceville. 412-688-8820. THE SUMMIT. Dig Now Sounds w/ Hot Honey. 9 p.m. Mt. Washington. 412-918-1647.

WED 10 TOM’S DINER/VASTA LOUNGE. RayJack. 10 p.m. Dormont. 412-531-2350.

HIP HOP/R&B WED 10 ROCKS LANDING BAR & GRILLE. Tony Campbell feat. Teresa Hawthorne. 7:30 p.m. McKees Rocks. 412-875-5809.

BLUES THU 04 O’DONNA’S. The Bo’Hog Brothers. 8 p.m. Beaver. 878-313-3418.

MP 3 MONDAY SLUGSS

DJS THU 04 BELVEDERE’S. NeoNoir Dark 80s w/ Erica Scary. 10 p.m. Lawrenceville. 412-687-2555. THE FUNHOUSE @ MR. SMALLS. Centrifuge. Non-genre specific electronic music night showcasing aspiring fresh talent to veterans alike. 9 p.m. Millvale. 412-821-4447. PERLE CHAMPAGNE BAR. Bobby D Bachata. 10 p.m. Downtown. 412-471-2058.

FRI 05 ANDYS WINE BAR. DJ Malls Spins Vinyl. 5 p.m. Downtown. 412-773-8884. BRILLOBOX. Pandemic: Global Dancehall, Cumbia, Bhangra, Balkan Bass. 9:30 p.m. Bloomfield. 412-621-4900. DEE’S CAFE. Punk Night w/ DJ Ian. 10 p.m. South Side. 412-431-1314.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.03/01.10.2018

Each week, we post a song from a local artist online for free. This week, it’s “Bone,” by Slugss. The dreamy track has a moody feel and tinges of psychedelic influence. It’s the kind of rock song you listen to on a long Greyhound voyage. Stream or download “Bone” for free on FFW>>>, the music blog at pghcitypaper.com.


HEAVY ROTATION

HAMBONE’S. Acoustic Brunch. Acoustic Brunch welcomes all styles of music, poetry, spoken word, comedy in an open mic format. We also have one ‘Feature Artist’ sandwiched in the middle of our show. 10:30 a.m. Calliope Old Time Appalachian Jam. 5 p.m. Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318.

Here are the songs CP music writer Meg Fair can’t stop listening to: Lemuria

“Christine Perfect”

Yeah, it’s cold.

Really, really cold.

WED 10 ALLEGHENY ELKS LODGE #339. Pittsburgh Banjo Club. 8 p.m. North Side. 412-321-1834. PARK HOUSE. Shelf Life String Band. 9 p.m. North Side. 412-224-2273.

The Wonder Years

“There, There”

We’re PITTSBURGHERS.

REGGAE

The cold can’t stop us.

THU 04 PIRATA. The Flow Band. 9 p.m. Downtown. 412-323-3000.

Mixtapes

THU 04 RIVERS CASINO. DJ Cake. Levels. 6 p.m. North Side. 412-231-7777.

FRI 05

The Sidekicks

THE FUNHOUSE @ MR. SMALLS. Flaw. 7 p.m. Millvale. 412-821-4447. RIVERS CASINO. Twan Moore. Levels. 9 p.m. Walk of Shame. Drum Bar. 9 p.m. North Side. 412-231-7777.

“Everything in Twos”

SAT 06

MON 08

MOONDOG’S. The Bail Jumpers. 8:30 p.m. Blawnox. 412-828-2040.

HAMBONE’S. Ian Kane, Ronnie Weiss & Tom Boyce. Jazz Standards, showtunes & blues. 6:30 p.m. Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318.

JAZZ THU 04

TUE 09

SAVOY RESTAURANT. Roger Humphries & RH Factor. 8 p.m. Strip District. 412-281-0660.

RILEY’S POUR HOUSE. Martin Rosenberg. 7 p.m. Carnegie. 412-279-0770.

FRI 05

WED 10

ANDORA RESTAURANT FOX CHAPEL. Pianist Harry Cardillo & vocalist Charlie Sanders. 6:30 p.m. Fox Chapel. 412-967-1900.

CITY OF ASYLUM @ ALPHABET CITY. Jenny Wilson Trio. 8 p.m. North Side. 412-435-1110. RIVERS CLUB. Jessica Lee & Friends. Second Wed. of every month, 5:30 p.m. Downtown. 412-391-5227.

SAT 06 CIOPPINO SEAFOOD CHOPHOUSE BAR. Lucarelli Jazz w/ Peg Wilson. 7 p.m. Strip District. 412-281-6593. THE MONROEVILLE RACQUET CLUB. Jazz Bean Live. 7 p.m. Monroeville. 412-728-4155. TABLE 86 BY HINES WARD. RML Jazz. 7:30 p.m. Mars. 412-370-9621. WALLACE’S TAP ROOM. Tony Campbell Jazzsurgery. 5 p.m. East Liberty. 412-665-0555.

SUN 07 ROCKS LANDING BAR & GRILLE. Tony Campbell, John Hall, Howie Alexander & Dennis Garner. 7 p.m. McKees Rocks. 412-875-5809.

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SAT 06 CATTIVO. Requiem. 10 p.m. Lawrenceville. 412-687-2157. PALACE THEATRE. Dean Lives. 8 p.m. Greensburg. 724-836-8000. RIVERS CASINO. The Bill Henry Band. Drum Bar. 9 p.m. Matt Tichon Band. Levels. 9 p.m. North Side. 412-231-7777.

ST. BERNARD CATHOLIC CHURCH. Come, Share the Joy! The 150 talented young singers of Pittsburgh Youth Chorus under the direction of Artistic Director, Shawn Funk. 4 p.m. Mt. Lebanon. 412-281-4790. STAGE AE. August Burns Red, Born of Osiris, ERRA & Ocean Grove. 6:30 p.m. North Side. 412-229-5483.

TUE 09

ELWOOD’S PUB. West Deer Bluegrass Review. 7:30 p.m. Rural Ridge. 724-265-1181.

FRI 05 BAR 3 MILLVALE. Todd and Dale. 8:30 p.m. Millvale. 412-408-3870. FULL PINT WILD SIDE. EASE & Sweaty Already. 9 p.m. Lawrenceville. 412-408-3083.

SUN 07 DOUBLETREE BY HILTON HOTEL PITTSBURGH CRANBERRY. Right TurnClyde. 12 p.m. Cranberry. 724-766-6900.

MUSIC

Hits the stands January 24.

SUN 07

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The City Paper Winter Guide has info on all the Winter activities in the Pittsburgh area.

OTHER MUSIC

“The New Ride the Lightning”

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WINTER GUIDE

STAGE AE. St. Vincent. St. Vincent has partnered with PLUS1 to ensure $1 from every ticket goes to support leading organizations providing prevention, treatment, and resources for opioid addiction, a public health epidemic ravaging communities across the country. 7 p.m. North Side. 412-229-5483.

Coming January 24

Submit a listing: pghcitypaper.com/happenings What to reserve an ad? Call 412-316-3342

WED 10 THE FUNHOUSE @ MR. SMALLS. Madison Douglas. 8 p.m. Millvale. 603-433-7465.

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What to do JANUARY 3-9 WEDNESDAY 3

Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 8p.m.

CLUB CAFE South Side. 412-431-4950. With special guest The Inevitable Mr. Chris. Over 21 show. Tickets: ticket web.com/opusone. 8p.m.

Trevor Noah

Jocelyn & Chris Arndt

New Year, New Best Friend: Cat Adoptions HUMANE ANIMAL RESCUE Multiple Locations. 412-345-7300. For more info visit humaneanimalrescue.org. Through Jan. 7th.

THURSDAY 4

The Maplewaves & We Were Telepathic CLUB CAFE South Side. 412-431-4950. Over 21 event. Tickets: ticketweb.com/opus one. 8p.m.

FRIDAY 5

IN PITTSBURGH August Burns Red

WATERLOO REVIVAL JERGEL'S RHYTHM GRILLE JANUARY 5

STAGE AE North Side. With special guests Born of Osiris, ERRA & Ocean Grove. Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 1-800-745-3000. Doors open at 6:30p.m.

HEINZ HALL Downtown. 412-392-4900. Tickets: livenation.com. 10p.m.

Art In Context: Border Crossings

Family Zumba PHIPPS CONSERVATORY Oakland. Free event. For more info visit phipps.conservatory. org. 9a.m.

ANDY WARHOL MUSEUM North Side. Free event. For more info visit warhol.org. 7p.m.

Sun Print Sundays Garage Space

CARNEGIE MUSEUM OF ART Oakland. For more info visit cmoa.org. 12:30p.m.

MR. SMALLS THEATRE Millvale. 412-821-4447. With special guests Tilted Shadows, Llyod Gross, Alyssa Henderson & Stone Cold Killer. All ages event. Tickets: ticket web.com/opusone. 8p.m.

SATURDAY 6

TUESDAY 9 St. Vincent

or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 8p.m.

Waterloo Revival

The Four Horsemen: A Tribute to Metallica

Dean Lives

JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE Warrendale. 724-799-8333. With special guest Cody Gibson & Township Road.

JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE Warrendale. 724-799-8333. With special guest Turbo Lovers. Tickets: ticketfly.com

THE PALACE THEATRE Greensburg. 724-836-8000. Tickets: thepalacetheatre.org. 8p.m.

STAGE AE North Side. Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 1-800-745-3000. Doors open at 7p.m.

Ferdinand the Bull

Courtship.

CLUB CAFE South Side. 412-431-4950. With special guest Her Ladyship. Over 21 event. Tickets: ticket web.com/opusone. 7p.m.

CATTIVO Lawrenceville. 412-687-2157. All ages event. Tickets: cattivopgh.com. 7:30p.m.

SUNDAY 7

New View Trio BACKSTAGE BAR AT THEATER SQUARE Downtown. 412-456-6666. Free event. 5p.m.

PYRAMID

TATTOO & Body Piercing

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.03/01.10.2018

638 Broadway Avenue McKees Rocks, PA 15136 PH: (412) 576-3971

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[BOOKS]

A SPACE CAPSULE IS NATURE?

BLOOD WORK {BY FRED SHAW} Readers seeking easy-to-follow narratives won’t find them in Dawn Lundy Martin’s new poetry collection, Good Stock Strange Blood (Coffee House Press. 144 pp., $16.95). One poem, “We untangle,” reads, “de-strange / our map-pings. / We are remove, / the warrior in / living outer space, / incandescent. Open scab / — legends — and find uncut / surface. No return.” It recalls the Afrofuturistic lyrics of jazz legend Sun Ra, who once said, “I do not come to you as a reality, I come to you as a myth because that’s what black people are: myths.” Much as Ra sometimes embraced dissonance, Martin purposely challenges with tangential images and fractured lines to look inward at racial and personal trauma. She also employs multiple speakers, one of whom is named NAVE, who’s born from the head of Sarah from Adrienne Kennedy’s one-act play Funnyhouse of a Negro. It’s experimental yet lyrical work that plays best when read aloud. This makes sense, as Good Stock was born as the libretto for a similarly named conceptual opera, written for art collective HOWDOYOUSAYYAMINAFRICAN? The filmed version was selected for the prestigious Whitney Biennial in 2014 but pulled “in protest after some contentious conversations with museum representatives around race,” according to Martin’s author statement. An associate professor of English at the University of Pittsburgh whose nonfiction has been published in The New Yorker and Harper’s, she was recently deemed one of the “most dynamic poets writing today” by Poets & Writers. This literary dynamism, though sometimes opaque, comes through most strongly in italicized passages, with Martin explaining its function in a P&W interview as “an interior voice I want to gift the reader.” One powerful example reads, “Symptomatic of being a slave / is to forget you’re a slave, to / participate in industry as a critical piece of its motor. At / night you fall off the wagon / because it’s like falling into / your self.” These insightful lines seem to speak not only to racism but also to contempt toward the working poor and others lacking a voice in society. When Martin writes in “To split,” “to be spilled / to topple / to be topped / to strain / be stained / strangled. / Robe falls open — / against my belly — / stroked,” it’s evident that Good Stock, while cerebral, uses the language of the body, while allowing a deeply thoughtful writer to question racial identity by asking “can good stock be tied up with bad blood?”

{PHOTO COURTESY OF JOSHUA FRANZOS}

Taxidermied urban critters help illustrate We Are Nature at the Carnegie Museum of Natural History.

[EXHIBIT REVIEW]

ONLY NATURAL {BY BILL O’DRISCOLL}

“W

plastic trash is everywhere, making polyethylene soup of huge patches of ocean, engorging vast landfills, and getting stuffed, editorially, into the moss that otherwise fills the hollow letters of the “We Are Nature” welcome sign. (In 1934, T.S. Eliot wrote: “And the wind shall say: ‘Here were decent godless people: / Their only monument the asphalt road / And a thousand lost golf balls.” An optimist!)

E ARE Nature,” proclaims the

title of the big new Carnegie Museum of Natural History exhibit. But we humans are also, as the exhibit makes clear, very close to learning whether life on our planet can survive us in anything like its current form. It’s a seeming paradox that resonates throughout the ambitious installation, whose full title is We Are Nature: Living in the Anthropocene. It was designed and curated by museum staff, and the Carnegie calls it the first exhibit in North America to focus on the anthropocene — the idea that human impact on the Earth is so massive that it will become geologic artifact. That is not, by the way, something to celebrate. Our greenhouse gasses heat the planet, causing seas to rise. Farms flatten rainforests. Plants and animals are going extinct at an astounding pace. And our

WE ARE NATURE continues through Sept. 3. Carnegie Museum of Natural History, 4400 Forbes Ave., Oakland. 412-622-3131 or www.carnegiemnh.org

The exhibit takes over the sprawling R.P. Simmons Family Gallery with everything from taxidermied frogs to interactive touch-screen displays offering time-lapse,

satellite’s-eye projections of how a global temperature rise of just 7˚ F would wipe out Shanghai and swamp Florida, Bangladesh and Manhattan. Clever touches include a vitrine containing two pieces of office paper: a bill for $6,925 in basement waterproofing charged to a local family whose home was flooded because of climate-change-induced storms. “[A]lmost half of the land on earth has been transformed, and most of the world’s rivers have been altered,” exhibit text notes. Amid general earnestness, there is surprising dark humor. A photo gallery depicting six critically endangered species — pangolin, mountain gorilla, hawksbill turtle, black rhino, etc. — asks visitors to “Vote for the next generation’s most distinguished extinct animal,” pointedly emphasizing that humankind can choose what it extirpates (or saves). Nearby stands a

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THE BOARD OF PUBLIC EDUCATION OF THE SCHOOL DISTRICT OF PITTSBURGH Sealed proposals shall be deposited at the Administration Building, Room 251, 341 South Bellefield Avenue, Pittsburgh, Pa., 15213, on January 23, 2018, until 2:00 P.M., local prevailing time for a Service Contract for the following:

PGH. DILWORTH PREK-5 Various Asphalt and Concrete Repairs General Prime PGH. LANGLEY HIGH SCHOOL Various Asphalt and Concrete Repairs General Prime PGH. OLIVER CITYWIDE ACADEMY Various Asphalt and Concrete Repairs General Prime. PGH. CAPA 6-12 Basement Water Infiltration General, Plumbing, Mechanical and Electrical Primes PGH. CUPPLES STADIUM Concrete Bleachers Repair General Prime Project Manual and Drawings will be available for purchase on January 2, 2018 at Modern Reproductions (412-488-7700), 127 McKean Street, Pittsburgh, Pa., 15219 between 9:00 A.M. and 4:00 P.M. The cost of the Project Manual Documents is non-refundable. Project details and dates are described in each project manual. We are an equal rights and opportunity school district. Parent Hotline: 412-622-7920 www.pps.k12.pa.us

taxidermied dodo, admonitory under glass. A display titled “R.I.P. Great Barrier Reef,” asks us to sign the funeral book for this wonder of nature (and critical source of marine habitat) whose demise is predicted by 2050 due to warming oceans. Educational and engaging as this all is, the statement “we are nature” is problematic. Humans, of course, are products of nature. But at some point in our history (likely during the Enlightenment), we went from honoring nature as a “mother” to manipulating and exploiting it as a “resource.” So when this exhibit reminds us that “We are not separate from nature, we are nature, and our decisions affect all life on earth,” it at first seems merely a welcome call to accountability. A warning to do something, for instance, to prevent the projected extinction in the coming century of one-third of all species on earth. Yet something sticks in the craw. Alongside a wall of taxidermied critters often found in close proximity to city-dwellers — coyote, sparrow, frog — a touch-screen depicting a stylized map of Pittsburgh asks, “What is nature?” If you don’t highlight everything — the neighborhoods along with the woods — you’re told you’re wrong. “We assume nature is only where people are not,” but actually, says the screen, it’s everywhere. Really? A space capsule is nature? An ice rink in Phoenix in June? Ross Park Mall? What about the plush-toy woolly mammoth that We Are Nature uses (perhaps ironically) to represent the real creature our paleolithic ancestors helped extinguish? Or the 272 plastic bits spilling from the autopsied gut of an albatross chick in one photo here, whose mother thought the cigarette lighters she fed it were real food? In this sense, to believe that “we are nature” requires some stretching of the mind. For one thing, if humans and all they do are nature, then there’s nothing that’s not nature, and the word “nature” loses all meaning. Moreover, natural systems famously run in cycles. Even rock becomes soil. But polystyrene coffee cups are immortal (even their recycling requires industrial processing). And consider invasive species. Burmese pythons were around for millions of years without making it to the Everglades; global trade finally facilitated that trip, but now the snakes are decimating native bird populations there. Can a trade in exotic pets that destroys nature be “natural”? We Are Nature contributors include Pittsburgh’s indispensable Center for PostNatural History, which documents ways humans have altered organisms — typi-

cally through gene-splicing — and whose very name assumes that there’s “natural” and there’s “not natural.” And CPNH’s taxidermied corpse of Freckles, a goat genetically engineered to give milk containing spider silk that’s used in bullet-proof vests, grazed on the latter side of things. Some might argue that far from everything being “nature,” everything today is postnatural, including us, all but wired into our smartphones. Considering the speed with which we’ve wreaked devastation (most of it in the past century), the part of nature that humans resemble most might be the giant comet that killed off the dinosaurs 65 million years ago. However, the meteor didn’t know what it was doing; it couldn’t have acted otherwise. So is it consciousness that makes us seem unnatural? Yet aren’t our most environmentally damaging everyday acts — burning fossil fuels to stay warm, cool off, or travel — done without really thinking about them at all? Humans, We Are Nature notes, do things like successfully reintroducing otters to Pennsylvania rivers, and providing insulated nesting boxes to keep cool the eggs of endangered South African penguins. But when whole ecosystems are collapsing, taking extraordinary measures to buy time for a selected few of the individual species who depend on those ecosystems can feel more delusional than heroic. The exhibit notes another sobering phenomenon: “shifting cognitive baseline,” a.k.a. “environmental generational amnesia,” in which “the youth of each generation considers the level of degradation they experience to be normal.” Few inhabitants of a future, climatologically harsher, biologically poorer planet might know the difference. We Are Nature does more showing than telling, and the preaching is minimal. The friendly-sounding title might draw in visitors who would shun an enviro-themed show, and it’s a brave all-ages attraction that confronts mom, dad and the kids with unpleasant truths. The exhibit’s final portions aim to help visitors process any feelings it has stirred, and to suggest ways to act. There are individual initiatives (“eat less beef,” “plant a tree”) and shout-outs to local environmental groups. At the art station on the day I visited, someone’s charming drawing of a friendly-looking axolotl (salamander) was hung right next to a dire sketch labeled “California is burning.” Nearby, another drawing quoted Rachel Carson’s warning from Silent Spring about the risks of overusing pesticides: “The people had done it themselves.”

WE ARE NATURE DOES MORE SHOWING THAN TELLING.

D RI S C OL L @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.03/01.10.2018


[BOOKS]

[BOOK REVIEWS]

PARODY BOY {BY AMANDA REED}

{BY BILL O’DRISCOLL}

Reviews of the first 50 pages of recent books by local authors

Carrie Ann DiRisio {PHOTO COURTESY OF POWDER BLUE PHOTOGRAPHY}

Carrie Ann DiRisio wears many hats: She’s a full-time professional with an office job; she’s an MBA student at the University of Pittsburgh; and, with the release in October of Brooding YA Hero: Becoming a Main Character (Almost) as Awesome as Me, she’s a published author. The satirical novel follows Broody McHottiepants, a stereotypical selfabsorbed, attractive romantic interest in young-adult literature. Within the structure of a self-help guide, Broody teaches readers the basics of becoming a main character in a novel, from how to keep a love interest engaged to the secret of securing a sequel. The novel was inspired by @BroodingYAHero, a Twitter account DiRisio created in 2015 as a joke based on a popular trope in YA novels. (Sample tweet: “Just so we’re clear, I have a free pass to sleep with anyone but if you talk to another boy, my jealous rage is totally forgivable.”) Then, one day, it went viral. “I remember I looked at the tweets in class and was like, ‘Oh my god, I have 6,000 followers,’” says DiRisio. With that success in mind, DiRisio’s agent suggested she write a humor book instead of the fantasy novel she had pitched. She submitted two chapters and an outline, and it sold on proposal to Sky Pony Press. DiRisio wrote the novel over the course of six weekends, treating herself to a spoonful of Nutella every 1,000 words. After two years of tweeting as Broody, turning him from a Twitter persona into a character in a novel was easy, says the Dormont resident. “In that time he’s developed his own voice in his tweets, so I knew him as a character, which made it easy to set him in a plot,” she says. Although the Twitter account and novel are lighthearted, the humor is used to discuss a serious topic: damaging, reductive literary tropes. “It’s ‘punching-up’ humor, in a way to make fun of the rich, mega-hot white dude, and it’s not making fun of the fat best friend, which is not a trope you should be making fun of. Those people deserve to be main characters themselves,” she says. DiRisio wants to help readers unpack and deconstruct such tropes. “I do think readers and consumers of storytelling need to have that ability to [ask themselves], ‘Are we using this narrative shorthand because it’s easy, and if so, what’s the implication?’”

A HIDDEN CHILD IN GREECE: RESCUE IN THE HOLOCAUST. “I lost count of how many people saved my life,” writes Yolanda Avram Willis in her self-published memoir (326 pp., $34.99) about surviving as a Greek Jew during the Holocaust. Willis was 6 when the war broke out, and spent four years on the run from the Nazis with her family, including her aged grandmother and sickly little brother. Eighty-seven percent of Greek Jews perished during the war, Willis writes, but her family survived through strategies including hiding in a village oven, gifts of Christian IDs from Athens police, and her temporary adoption by a Christian family. The book also includes other people’s stories of rescue in Greece. As an adult, Willis came to the U.S. and worked as a researcher, manager, educator and consultant. In straightforward prose, she portrays herself as a brave little girl, but is careful to note the emotional toll that her repressed fear later took — and more careful still to forefront the kindness and bravery of her family’s many protectors and helpers.

$15.99), tells the Depression-era story of a young woman who grew up poor in Boston but feels destined for more. “Other worlds were within my grasp — better worlds full of rewarded ambition, refinement, and eloquence,” narrates Maeve Fanning. “I clung to them as a pilgrim whose faith is proportional to the extremity of their need clings to a relic or prayer.” Unfortunately, Maeve has a taste for gin and isn’t too careful about men, which is how (basically) she ends up in an upstate

New York asylum before returning to Boston; the plot leads her to a fateful job at a posh antique shop. Tessaro moves the narrative slickly and writes snappy dialogue for her flawed heroine and a range of characters from “loony bin” inmates to Italian bakers, Maeve’s Irish mother and Boston Brahmins. What impresses most is her eye for period detail, a rigorous attention to the physical realities of Maeve’s world (clothes, food, etc.) that really brings the story to life. DRISCOLL@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

THE BEST WAY TO GET EVEN. Nobody really wants to spend time with Callahan. Not his estranged father; not the former students he scandalizes by drunkenly groping one of them at a party; and certainly not his exwife. But readers of Michael W. Cox’s new novel just might want to, especially after the alcoholic English professor comes to believe that someone is stalking him as a result of the groping incident. Cox teaches at the University of Pittsburgh at Johnstown and wrote the fine 2013 short-story collection Against the Hidden River. Novels about the travails of dissolute, educated, middleage white men are legion, but in Best Way (Mammoth Books, 188 pp., $14.95), Cox illuminates Callahan’s unhappy world with sharp prose that sucks you into the spaces between the lines: “[P]ornography was in truth the only thing that held Callahan’s attention these days. Not the sex so much as the representation of it, actors going through their paces and managing, somehow, to do their thing, despite the camera’s unflattering, super-realistic gaze.”

blogh.pghcitypaper.com

The first hit is free. Actually, so are all the others.

RARE OBJECTS. Kathleen Tessaro’s sixth novel, now in paperback (Harper, 378 pp.,

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FOR THE WEEK OF

01.04-01.11.18 Full events listed online at www.pghcitypaper.com

{PHOTO COURTESY OF NICK GILL}

Behind the façade of one of Pittsburgh’s best-known podcasters beats the heart of a frustrated game-show host. So to celebrate the 100th episode of Marta on the Move, Marta Mazzoni presents Marta Match: A Throwback of The Match Game, in which the podcaster pays homage to that classic game show. “It felt like more than a game show to me. It felt like a bunch of people hanging out and having a good time,” says Mazzoni. It was back in college that she fell in love with 1970s reruns of the show, with host Gene Rayburn asking celebrity panelists like Betty White and Charles Nelson Reilly to complete coyly naughty fill-in-the-blank questions (“Johnny always puts butter on his [blank]”).

Jan. 5’s Marta Match takes place on the City Theatre main stage. Three or four audience members who’ve put their names in a hat will be picked by random drawing and try to match answers (as written on dry-erase boards) with local celebs including filmmaker Rick Sebak, actor Patrick Jordan, comic Day Bracey, rapper Kellee Maize, magician Lee Terbosic, and drag performer Seamus Ricci (as Deep Violet). Contestants vie for prizes totaling $400. Terbosic and Deep Violet will perform short sets, variety-show style. Your 21-and-over ticket includes a preparty, with free beer samples from Helicon Brewing; a raffle; and an after-party with old-school games courtesy of Pittsburgh Retro Gaming. Proceeds benefit Big Brothers and Sisters of Pittsburgh (and making extra donations will raise your odds of getting picked as a contestant). The event will be recorded live for playback as the podcast’s 100th episode, on Jan. 7. Mazzoni, of course, will host. Though her podcast guests have included current Match Game host Alec Baldwin, Mazzoni doesn’t see many parallels between podcast hosts and game-show emcees. However, she is culling some Marta Match questions from Match Game classics. And interviewed last week, she said her wardrobe was set: “I’ve got my suit jacket.”

{PHOTO COURTESY OF MARK SIMPSON}

^ Thu., Jan. 4: The Missing Peace

thursday 01.04 DANCE The Missing Peace, a new full-length work from Shana Simmons Dance, gets a work-in-progress showing at The Kelly-Strayhorn Theater’s Alloy Studios, in Friendship. The work, inspired by and dedicated to people affected by Alzheimer’s, suicide, and struggles with self-identity, is choreographed and performed by Jamie Erin Murphy, Brady Sanders and Shana Simmons. After tonight’s showing, hop across Penn to Primanti Bros. for a post-performance discussion. Missing Peace is set to premiere in March. Bill O’Driscoll 7 p.m. 5530 Penn Ave., Friendship. Pay-what-makes-you-happy. www.facebook.com (“missing peace works”)

friday 01.05

BY BILL O’DRISCOLL

8 p.m. Fri., Jan. 5 (7 p.m. pre-party). 1300 Bingham St., South Side. $35. www.eventbrite.com (“marta match”)

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.03/01.10.2018

ART Friday-night admission to The Andy Warhol Museum is half-price year-round, but this month you’re luckier still: Starting tonight, admission for the museum’s weekly Good Fridays event

is free all month long, courtesy of UPMC Health Plan. With DJ music and the museum’s bar, the atmosphere is loungey, and the whole joint is open, including the permanent exhibits on Warhol’s own life and work. It’s also the last days to see Farhad Moshiri: Go West, featuring work by the contemporary Iranian artist. That exhibit closes Jan. 14. BO 5-10 p.m. 117 Sandusky St., North Side. Free. 412-237-8300 or www.warhol.org

ART Unblurred, the first-Fridays arts showcase, powers into January with more than a dozen venues along Penn Avenue asking you to brave the cold (and then come in out of it). For example: Bunker Projects holds the opening reception for Pretend Ones, Suso Phizer’s audio and video installation compiling monologues of people in Pittsburgh, Philadelphia and New York City talking gender, sexuality, sexual normalization and more. (At 2 p.m. Sat., Jan. 6, there’s an artist Q&A with Phizer, a Philadelphia-based artist ^ Fri., Jan. 5: Trevor Noah


OFFICIAL ADVERTISEMENT

THE BOARD OF PUBLIC EDUCATION OF THE SCHOOL DISTRICT OF PITTSBURGH Sealed proposals shall be deposited at the Administration Building, Room 251, 341 South Bellefield Avenue, Pittsburgh, Pa., 15213, on January 23, 2018, until 2:00 P.M., local prevailing time for a Service Contract for the following:

PGH. MILLER, WESTWOOD AND GRANDVIEW Replace EM Generator Systems General and Electrical Primes {IMAGE COURTESY OF SUSO PHIZER}

^ Fri., Jan. 5: Unblurred

PGH. COLFAX K-8 Heating and Ventilation at Pool Area General, Asbestos, Mechanical and Electrical Primes

who recently completed a two-month residency at Bunker.) BOOM Concepts has drawings by Paul Peng. Assemble continues HyperLocal, its annual showcase for local artists and makers, and Silver Eye Center for Photography continues solo shows by Tarrah Krajnak and Tabitha Soren. BO 6-11 p.m. 4800-5500 Penn Ave., Bloomfield/Friendship/Garfield. Free. www.pennavenue.org

PGH. SUNNYSIDE PREK-8 Unit Ventilator Replacement Mechanical Prime

COMEDY In 2017, we needed all possible laughs in the face of grimness that we could find, with bonus points for insight and empathy. One consistent voice — and one of the few we hear from an African-born person of color — belongs to Daily Show host Trevor Noah. On the heels of last year’s Comedy Central standup special Trevor Noah: Lost in Translation, and his best-selling 2016 memoir Born a Crime: Stories From a South African Childhood — and just ahead of his new Netflix special Afraid of the Dark — Noah is on a standup tour that hits Heinz Hall tonight. The early show is sold out, but at press time tickets remained for the late slot. BO 7:30 and 10 p.m. 600 Penn Ave., Downtown. $39.50-75. 412-392-4900 or www. pittsburghsymphony.org

PGH. CHARTIERS, SPRING GARDEN, MONTESSORI AND CRESCENT SCHOOLS Water Cooler Replacement – Phase 2 Plumbing and Electrical Primes PGH. BRASHEAR HIGH SCHOOL ADA Toiler Room Renovations – Phase 2 General, Plumbing, Mechanical and Electrical Primes PGH. CARRICK HIGH SCHOOL Various Asphalt and Concrete Repairs General Prime

saturday 01.06 ART

Project Manual and Drawings will be available for purchase on January 2, 2018 at Modern Reproductions (412-488-7700), 127 McKean Street, Pittsburgh, Pa., 15219 between 9:00 A.M. and 4:00 P.M. The cost of the Project Manual Documents is non-refundable. Project details and dates are described in each project manual.

It’s the final days for the Pittsburgh Society of Artists Guild’s 52nd {ART BY CHRISTOPHER BORING} ^ Sat., Jan. 6: Pittsburgh Society of Artists Guild annual exhibition. The PSA has more than 400 artist-members working in all media and living within 150 miles of Pittsburgh. The non-themed, juried show at The Artsmiths of Pittsburgh, in Mount Lebanon, includes 31 works by 30 artists. The juror is Pittsburgh-based artist and cultural producer Casey Droege. BO 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Exhibit continues through Jan. 13. 1635 McFarland Road, Mount Lebanon. Free. 412-341-2299 or www.pittsburghsocietyofartists.com

We are an equal rights and opportunity school district. Parent Hotline: 412-622-7920 www.pps.k12.pa.us

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SHORT LIST, CONTINUED FROM PG. 25

{PHOTO COURTESY OF VENTURE OUTDOORS}

^ Sat., Jan. 6: Keystone State Park Hike

OUTDOORS Probably still gonna be cold today, but by now you’re used to it, right? Time to take a hike, and we bet you haven’t been to Keystone State Park, in New Alexandria. Just 45 minutes east of Downtown, enjoy today’s three-hour, four- to six-mile Keystone State Park Hike on moderate terrain, guided by Venture Outdoors. It’s a good New Year’s workout and a fine way to acclimate to winter, as well. BO 1-4 p.m. 1150 Keystone Park Road, New Alexandria. $12. www.ventureoutdoors.org

widescreen black-and-white visuals, tonight and any Sunday this month at Regent Square Theater, where it heralds the return of Pittsburgh Filmmakers’ Sunday classics series. BO 6 p.m. Also Jan. 14, 21 and 28. 1035 S. Braddock Ave., Edgewood. $7-8. 512-681-5449 or www.pfpca.org

wednesday 01.10 WORDS You are what you eat, in more ways than one. Locally based author, blogger and health coach Lindsey Smith’s new book, Eat Your Feelings: The Food Mood Girl’s Guide to Transforming Your Emotional Eating (Wednesday Books) explores the connections between what we crave, what we eat and how we feel. It’s a breezy self-care guide, colorfully illustrated and full of recipes, cooking tips and more, meant to boost your mood (and improve your health) whether you’re sad, stressed, tired, hangry or bored. Tonight, Smith visits the Whitehall Public Library for a hands-on cooking demo and talk. BO 1 p.m. 100 Borough Park Drive, Whitehall. Free. 412-882-6622 or www.whitehallpubliclibrary.org

sunday 01.07 STAGE

SCREEN Any chance to catch a film by Akira Kurosawa on the big screen, you ought to take it. But there’s an additional enticement to see 1958’s The Hidden Fortress, by the Japanese master who gave us Seven Samurai and Ran: This comedic adventure about a soldier and two quarrelsome sidekicks in feudal Japan escorting a princess-in-disguise to a hideaway was a huge influence on young George Lucas as he penned Star Wars. See Hidden Fortress, with its glorious

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.03/01.10.2018

thursday 01.11 WORDS

> Sun., Jan. 7: Skippyjon Jones Snow What

Skippyjon Jones is one of those cats who thinks he’s a dog, only he’s also the hero of a popular picture-book series by Judy Schachner. And the Siamese who identifies as a Chihuahua also stars in Skippyjon Jones Snow What, Theatreworks USA’s latest musical adaptation of a book in that series. Kids ages 3 and up are the audience for this presentation in the Citizens Bank Children’s Theater Series, which finds Skippyjon off on his own adventure inspired by the story of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Today’s matinee, at the Byham Theater, is followed by a Monday-morning show at the Byham and then seven more performances through next Sunday, at one of five area middle or high schools. BO 2 p.m. (101 Sixth St., Downtown). Continues through Jan. 14 (various venues). $10.50-12. 412-456-6666 or www.trustarts.org

Claire Messud, known for her 2006 novel The Emperor’s Children, is also winning critical praise for her latest. The Burning Girl explores the relationship of two adolescent girls, inseparable friends since nursery school in a small Massachusetts town, and what happens when one of them decides to go her own way. “The Burning Girl asks how well we can ever know our closest confidants and answers its own question with every refined page,” enthused Vanity Fair. Messud makes a rare Pittsburgh visit tonight for a free reading at Alphabet City, followed by an audience Q&A. BO 8 p.m. 40 W. North Ave., North Side. Free. Reservations suggested at www.cityofasylumpittsburgh.org.


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FROM TENDER TORTILLAS TO SAVORY-SPICY SAUSAGE, CHORIZO TACOS WERE TERRIFIC

MORE BEER AND CHEER {BY ALEX GORDON} Another source for craft beer and gastropub fare has landed in Lawrenceville. Cinderlands Beer Company, owned by brothers Jamie and Steve Warden and with a kitchen headed by Joe Kiefer, opened in early December in Lower Lawrenceville. The spot was formerly occupied by Eclipse Lounge, and more recently by Roasted Barrelhouse and Eatery. The latter’s tenure was relatively brief, beginning in the summer of 2016 and closing about a year later. That’s not much time to make a dent, but if you were a fan, you should know: Roasted’s Blues Brothers mannequins are gone, though the four sidewalk bar stools remain. Cinderlands’ menu features a few fancier twists on Pittsburgh classics — haluski served with kielbasa, or pierogi with parsnips, crème fraiche and radicchio — but the eats selection also includes an appealing and straightforward “diner burger” and a brisket sandwich. On my visit, I went with the “chicharrones,” traditionally made with fried pork rinds or pork belly, but here made vegetarian with fried spent grain (a byproduct from brewing beer). That dish was served with beer-cheese dipping sauce, which combined for a tasty, if a bit rich, and pleasing appetizer. The curation of the beer selection was pretty killer, too. Hazy IPAs figured in heavily at the time of my visit — try the Squish from Fixation Brewing, if that’s your thing. The cocktail menu is stacked with local and local-ish spirits and, overall, reasonably priced. Worth a visit. ALEXGORDON@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

3705 Butler St., Lawrenceville. www.cinderlands.com

the

FEED

BETTER ER LIVING THROUGH ROUGH SCIENCE While visiting relatives, I discovered that their chatty “smart home device” was happy to supply detailed caloric info about everything people were gobbling down. (Calories for fresh raspberries were given per gram, which necessitated a second query about converting grams to ounces.) If you’re OK with a know-it-all kitchen robot, such a check-in might help with the perennial New Year’s diet.

{CP PHOTO BY VANESSA SONG}

Chiles en nogada de queso: Seedless poblano peppers stuffed with cheese, topped with cream sauce and garnished with pomegranate

MEXICAN HOME-COOKING {BY ANGELIQUE BAMBERG + JASON ROTH}

T

HERE ARE AT least three kinds of

international restaurants. The first, thankfully on its way out, is a mediocre translation, an entire cuisine simplified to its least-foreign elements. The second aims to emulate a sort of one-hour vacation abroad, with decor heavy on travel posters and souvenir art and a fuller, more representative selection of cuisine. The third type is one that Pittsburgh, until recently, hasn’t seen much of: Call it “for us, by us.” International restaurants aimed at diners already fluent in the cuisine offer the most authentic, immersive version of a virtual trip abroad. When the food is by and for the locals, so is the vibe. Pittsburgh’s selection of Mexican dining has cycled rapidly through these stages. But while Mexican-run street taco stands have proliferated, we haven’t really had the third kind in a sit-down setting before

La Catrina, in Beechview. That neighborhood itself has become the closest Pittsburgh has to a Mexican quarter, complete with the neighborhood grocery being a supermercado. La Catrina feels tightly connected to this community, while also being welcoming to visitors.

LA CATRINA 1603 Broadway Ave., Beechview. 412-425-0352 HOURS: Tue.-Fri. 11 a.m.-8 p.m.; Sat. and Sun. call for hours PRICES: Appetizers and sandwiches $2-10; entrees $10-15 LIQUOR: BYOB

CP APPROVED Some restaurant-goers may be concerned that an unmitigated foreign experience will leave them unsure of what or how to order, but La Catrina’s menu is reassur-

ingly familiar. Owner Demetrio Aragon is from Mexico City and does not shy away from Tex-Mex — a cuisine in its own right — offering a balance of tacos, enchiladas and the like with authentic fare for his compadres. In a nod to a time-honored practice of Chinese restaurants, a white board openly labeled “Secret Menu” displays a selection of special appetizers and entrees complete with descriptions written in Spanish. From this menu, Jason ordered eggs with chorizo, which were scrambled together and served with warm flour tortillas and refried beans. It was simple, savory and satisfying. A side of nopales, sautéed strips of cactus paddle with caramelized onions, would have been a perfect accompaniment, except for a surfeit of salt. Seasoning was again an issue with the tortilla chips. House-made, of course, the chips were addictively thin and crispy; our CONTINUES ON PG. 28

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first batch was under-salted, and our second, perfect. The queso dip was no more, no less than simple, creamy white cheese, but the chips found their heavenly match in La Catrina’s extraordinary guacamole. Made to order in a basalt molcajete, it was a little chunky, a little spicy, and topped with a spoonful of wonderful pico de gallo, the piquant tomatoes and onions adding brightness, fruitiness and still more heat. Tortas — Mexican hoagies, if you will — are traditionally served on cemita rolls, which aren’t precisely like any common American bread. We were a bit concerned to see that La Catrina uses Italian rolls, but Aragon must have done some hunting to find ones that approximate cemitas superbly, with an airy crumb and just enough crust for presence without resembling a baguette. Jason chose the torta milaneza, thin, breaded steak with avocado slices, onions and jalapeño salsa. The layered flavors came together wonderfully, with the rich and creamy avocado acting almost as a condiment. Fries on the side were light and crisp. La Catrina offers a half-dozen tortas, all distinct, and worthy of a special trip. Meanwhile, Angelique indulged her love of enchiladas verdes. La Catrina’s version was made with simple, cheese-stuffed enchiladas and came with a thin slice of steak — bistek — on the side, or rather, on top. If the steak wasn’t quite as seasoned or as tender as we would have hoped, the enchiladas were all that and more: supple tortillas, plump with crumbled-cheese filling and scattered with more on top, then generously ladled with tangy yet mellow roasted-tomatillo salsa. Add hearty rice and beans on the side, and the perfect circle of salty, sour, savory and even sweet flavors was complete, as was the enchiladas’ sturdy yet pliant texture; the portion — three fat rolls — was more than ample. Tacos are available in a choice of traditional Mexican style, with onion and crumbled queso fresca, or Tex-Mex, with shredded iceberg lettuce and grated cheddar cheese. Both are served in the classic way, enfolded in doubled corn tortillas (flour are also available). For Tex-Mex purists, ground beef is an option, but we went for chorizo, Mexican style. From tender tortillas to savory-spicy sausage, they were pretty terrific. For simple, satisfying Mexican food that caters to both authentic and American tastes, La Catrina is a solid choice, with a bright, welcoming, family-run and familyfriendly atmosphere. INF O @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

1025 Broad St, North Versailles, PA 15137

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BroadStBistro.com 412-829-2911

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.03/01.10.2018

Editor’s note: After more than 14 years of dedicated eating and evaluating, this is the last restaurant review from Angelique Bamberg and Jason Roth. To read more about their experience, see www.pghcitypaper.com.

[PERSONAL CHEF]

AN EPIPHANY {BY MADALYN HOCHENDONER, WILKINSBURG} When I was 4, I walked into the kitchen to sit next to my Giddoo. From a red plastic serving tray, I grabbed a cracked green olive the size of the palm of my hand. I held it with the tips of my fingers and began to take bites around the pit as with a peach. Salty, oily brine glossed my lips, and the bitter finish stayed on my tongue. Giddoo sat pleased by the mature palate of his granddaughter, for few of the other grandchildren devoured olives as if they were chocolates. The secret was, I did not like the bitter, brined drops. I ate olives for the pleasure of my grandfather’s praise. Similarly, every year I found myself stuffed with anise-laced donuts, throat tingling and yet determined to celebrate my Sithoo’s early-morning frying marathon. I thought I was subjecting myself to a minor allergic reaction when, in truth, anise is an excellent remedy for a sore throat, and the resulting numbing effect is natural. Jan. 6 is the Epiphany, the celebration of the baptism of Jesus and of the arrival of the Magi. In the Maronite Catholic tradition, this shower of blessings is celebrated in many ways, one of which is the purest expression of merrymaking — zelabia, or fried dough. Now, I not only take joy in the expression of my traditions, but in the flavors as well. INGREDIENTS • 5 lbs. flour • 4 tsp. salt • 4 eggs • 3 packets dry yeast • 4 tbsp. oil • lukewarm water • 1 tbsp. baking powder • 2 oz. arak (Lebanese liquor distilled with anise) • 2 jars anise extract • 1¼ oz. anise seeds INSTRUCTIONS Mix all ingredients together. Knead. Let rise up. Shape into long sticks and twist. Fry in oil. Roll in sugar or dip in syrup when eating. ATTER (SYRUP) • 1½ cup sugar • ¾ cup water • 1 tbsp. lemon juice • 1 tsp. rosewater INSTRUCTIONS Heat sugar and water, stir. Add lemon juice. Boil until the syrup thickens, about 10 minutes. Add rosewater. Remove from heat and let cool. I N F O@ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

WE WANT YOUR PERSONAL RECIPES AND THE STORIES BEHIND THEM. EMAIL THEM TO CELINE@PGHCITYPAPER.COM.


BOOZE BATTLES {BY CELINE ROBERTS}

Each week, we order the same cocktail at two different bars for a friendly head-to-head battle. Go to the bars, taste both drinks and tell us what you like about each by tagging @pghcitypaper on Twitter or Instagram and use #CPBoozeBattles. If you want to be a part of Booze Battles, send an email to food-and-beverage writer Celine Roberts, at celine@pghcitypaper.com.

THE DRINK: LAVENDER LEMON VENDER & LEM

[ON THE ROCKS]

GUILDING THE BREWERIES New advocacy group forms {BY DREW CRANISKY} Senti Restaurant & W Wine Bar 3473 Butler St., Lawrenceville DRINK: Lemon Lavender Snapback INGREDIENTS: Boyd & Blair vodka, lavender, limoncello, soda OUR TAKE: The limoncello gives this drink a very velvety texture along with bright citrus notes. Lavender makes an appearance on the nose, but is subtle in taste. The herbaceousness adds depth to an otherwise clean profile.

VS.

EVERY SO OFTEN, an idea comes along that

makes perfect sense. An idea that’s so good, it’s hard to believe it didn’t exist already. The Pittsburgh Brewers Guild is one of those. The Guild (PBG) is exactly what the name suggests. Led by Brian Eaton, of Grist House Craft Brewery, the group “aims at bettering the position of local craft breweries as it relates to promotion, legislation and representation,” according to a press release. The group is limited to breweries making beer in Allegheny County that meet the Brewers Association’s definition of a craft brewery. Currently, the PBG has 28 members — impressive, considering that craft breweries in the county

total about 30. The seeds of the PBG were planted in 2015, when a group of Pittsburgh brewers got to chatting after the annual Craft Brewers Conference. “You know how those conversations over a few beers sometimes lose a bit of steam,” laughs Eaton. But the idea was rekindled this year when Visit Pittsburgh (the city’s tourism agency) reached out to local breweries about a Pittsburgh brewery guide. A group of brewers agreed they needed a proper organization to coordinate such an undertaking. So a board, chaired by

Eaton and vice-chaired by Matt McMahon, of Eleventh Hour Brewing, got to work writing bylaws and officially forming the PBG. The guide will be the first order of business for the budding guild. The group has applied for a $30,000 grant from the Pennsylvania Malt and Brewed Beverage Industry Promotion Board to fund its creation. The money will go toward printing and promoting both physical and online guides, as well as educating hotel concierges. Whether or not the grant comes through (they’ll find out next month), the group plans to move forward with the guide. Their ambitions don’t end there. Eaton sees tons of potential for the PBG to serve as a voice for Allegheny County’s dozens of craft breweries. The organization can push for legislative changes, bring conferences to Pittsburgh, and educate local bars on proper handling and serving of craft beer. “[Allegheny County] has the most breweries operating in a county in Pennsylvania,” notes Eaton. “There needs to be a more unified voice and more attention focused on our side of the state.” Through working with Visit Pittsburgh, the PBG also hopes to bring more beer tourism to the city. “Nobody was talking about Asheville [breweries] until they formed a guild and said, ‘Hey, look at us,’” says Eaton. “Now all of the sudden everybody talks about Asheville.” Eaton and the rest of the board have plenty of plans, including publishing the brewery guide by early spring. But simply by existing, the PBG is helping to bring wider attention to Pittsburgh’s beer scene, and ensuring that it continues to grow in a healthy way that benefits the whole community.

“THERE NEEDS TO BE A MORE UNIFIED VOICE.”

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

Learn more about Pittsburgh’s food scene on our archived podcasts Sound Bite and Five Minutes in Food History online at www.pghcitypaper.com.

One Bordeaux, One Scotch, One Beer

Pizzaiolo Primo 8 Market Square, Downtown

Omnipollo Pink Lemonade IPA, Evil Twin Brewing

DRINK: Lavanda INGREDIENTS: Barrel-aged gin, lavender, grapefruit, lemon OUR TAKE: The gin, mellowed by barrel aging, lends a few herbal notes, but exists mostly in the background of this light, floral drink. Lavender and lemon add dryness.

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$7/12-ounce draft “We just put this on tap a few hours ago. I like it because you can taste the raspberry, and it’s nice and light for an IPA, without being too hoppy. It’s great for the holidays.” RECOMMENDED BY BOBBI LYNN, INDUSTRY PUBLIC HOUSE BARTENDER

Omnipollo is available at Industry Public House in Lawrenceville.

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PLAYING THE RIGHT CARDS

“IF WE DON’T HOLD THEM ACCOUNTABLE, MY GOD, WHO WILL?”

{BY BILL O’DRISCOLL} The true story of Molly Bloom — an Olympic-caliber downhill skier turned organizer of illegal high-stakes poker games, the titular Molly’s Game — seems tailor-made for the talents of Aaron Sorkin. And the screenwriter celebrated for his flashy insight and witty, rapid-fire dialogue in The Social Network, Steve Jobs and TV’s The West Wing delivers with this entertaining docudrama that’s also his big-screen directorial debut.

Jessica Chastain and Idris Elba

CP APPROVED

Sorkin adapts Bloom’s eponymous memoir, which traces her meteoric path from broke-ass Los Angeles office assistant to den mother to Hollywood celebrities around a poker table. Later (after one of them screws her over) she becomes the millionaire organizer of a similar game for Wall Street billionaires — until she’s caught up in an FBI takedown of Russian mobsters (oops). Jessica Chastain gamely plays Bloom, and gets strong support from a cast that includes Idris Elba as her lawyer, Michael Cera as a creepy young movie star, and Kevin Costner as her semi-estranged father. Beyond painting Bloom as a young woman who saw an opportunity and grabbed it, the film’s attempts at psychology don’t pan out very convincingly. But for sheer voyeurism, this study of an illicit but unusually well-bankrolled demimonde is quite satisfying. D R I S COLL@ PGHC ITY PA PE R.CO M

BECAUSE NOBODY ASKED, THE MOVIES AL HOFF DUG MOST IN 2017 WERE: The Florida Project, The Shape of Water, Lady Bird, Stronger, Get Out, Dawson City: Frozen Time, Patticake$, A Ghost Story and The Big Sick.

Ben Bradlee (Tom Hanks) and Katharine Graham (Meryl Streep) strategize.

PRESS PLAY {BY AL HOFF}

O

NE WOULD think The Post had been

created in a lab for the sole purpose of snagging Oscar nominations. Starring Meryl Streep and Tom Hanks. Directed by Steven Speilberg. An historical docudrama covering a well-known newspaper’s high-minded “act of courage” during fraught political times, with easy analogs to today’s battles — check, check, check. Yes, The Post is virtually pre-stamped “Reliably Entertaining” and “Certifiably Uplifting,” but it makes good on its glossy packaging. Set in 1971, its primary drama is dowe-or-don’t-we publish the “Pentagon Papers” in The Washington Post. These leaked documents showed that current and past administrations had actively concealed that they knew the war in Vietnam was not winnable. The New York Times had published a portion, and was blocked by the courts from publishing more. But when The Post snags a copy of the papers, editor Ben Bradlee (Hanks) and publisher Katharine Graham (Streep) see an opportunity. To publish the papers risks legal jeop-

ardy, as well as entailing a huge financial gamble (The Post was then going public) and running afoul of President Nixon. And for Bradlee and Graham, it’s also personal: They travel in Washington, D.C.’s top social circle, same as some of the folks who will be undone by this reporting.

THE POST DIRECTED BY: Steven Spielberg STARRING: Meryl Streep, Tom Hanks Starts Fri., Jan. 5

CP APPROVED Spielberg splits the story into two major threads. One is an ensemble work, highlighting the doggedness of reporters determined to break news and impact history. (It is also an elegy to once-thriving analog news production, with its slammed phones, clattering typewriters and clinking bits of cold type.) The other thread is the “birth” late in life of Kay Graham, treated as a figurehead in room after room of men, into a powerful and formidable publisher.

Streep gives one of her quieter performances — no crazy accents or histrionics — just an older woman completing a trajectory from cautious to confident, and securing a satisfying second act. (Indeed, the “sequel” — the Watergate affair — is going to be a real gangbuster.) There is an excellent cast of supporting characters (many from your favorite TV shows) that are fun to discover clad in unflattering 1970s garments. But the big uncredited player is Donald Trump, whose nonstop assaults on government investigations, “fake news” and even The Washington Post make the film crackle with immediacy, even as Speilberg threatens to kill any frisson with his underlining and bold-facing. Bradlee trumpets such on-thenose lines as “We can’t let an administration dictate our coverage just because they don’t like what we print about them in the newspaper” and “If we don’t hold them accountable, my god, who will?” Thankfully, The Post has America’s favorite moral compass, Tom Hanks, to deliver them. A HOF F @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.03/01.10.2018


never less than entertaining. Starts Fri., Jan. 5. Row House Cinema (AH)

FILM CAPSULES CP

78/52: HITCHCOCK’S SHOWER SCENE. The shower scene from Alfred Hitchcock’s 1960 film Psycho is rightfully famous and influential, and Alexandre O. Philippe’s new documentary explains why. It’s just 78 shots and 52 cuts, but who can forget its impact. Starts Fri., Jan. 5. Row House Cinema

= CITY PAPER APPROVED

NEW BIG SONIA. When “Big Sonia” was little, just 14 years old in 1939, she was taken from her home in Poland and spent the next six years in Nazi concentration camps. But Sonia Warshawski survived, married a man she met in the camps, and moved to Kansas City, where she raised a family. Now, at 91, she is still running a tailor shop in a corner of an otherwise abandoned shopping mall. Perhaps due to her vivacious personality, the shop has a steady stream of regular customers. This documentary profile, directed by Todd Soliday and Leah Warshawski (Sonia’s granddaughter), lets Sonia tell her story, both the good and the bad. Like other survivors, she has grown to see the value of sharing her experiences, and has a side gig speaking to schools. (She also drops in on a prison group, where the hardboiled men are visibly shaken by her recounting of horrors endured.) Sonia admits that her brutal upbringing has left her with unresolved issues — she attributes her vitality to a need to stay busy enough to avoid thinking about the past — and the film offers the less-talked-about but interesting matter of what it means to be the children of survivors. (Her son describes it as a blessing and a burden.) It’s an affecting portrait of one woman’s lifelong struggle to come to terms with her survival, a state for which she is profoundly grateful even as she is damaged by it. Starts Fri., Jan. 5. Row House Cinema (Al Hoff) FACES PLACES. French New Wave film director Agnès Varda (Cleo From 5 to 7) teams with JR, a young muralist and photographer, for a road trip where they seek out new people to meet. The pair also shares the directing credit on this new documentary. In French, with subtitles. Starts Fri., Jan. 5. Row House Cinema INSIDIOUS: THE LAST KEY. Adam Robitel directs the latest installment of this horror franchise about haunted houses. Starts Fri., Jan. 5 QUEST. So many of our institutions — media, church, government — celebrate the American family and its value to both individuals and community, but often only in the abstract or idealized portraits. Rarely do we see, much less celebrate, intimate accounts of an everyday family — a collection of folks doing the day-to-day work of being a functioning supportive unit. But now we have one such window with Jonathan Olshefski’s new documentary following the Rainey family, of North Philadelphia, over several years. (The film is helpfully framed by two presidential contests — Obama’s 2012 re-election and Trump’s 2016 victory.) The family’s core unit is Christopher (a.k.a. Quest), his wife, Christine’a, and their teenage daughter, P.J. There is also William, Christine’a’s grown son from another relationship, who is starting his own family, as well as a variety of neighbors and other relatives. The film runs linearly, but checks in with the Raineys when it wants — often big chunks of time go by, but other sections slow down for important moments. At one point, P.J. experiences a potentially life-altering event, and understandably this draws more of the camera’s attention. It’s an affirming portrait of everyday living — one day it’s a mother-daughter squabble, the next, everybody is out in the street enjoying some drum bands; it’s a day at work, followed by

REPERTORY SHAUN OF THE DEAD. London slackers defend themselves from zombies in writer/star Simon Pegg and director Edgar Wright’s remarkable 2004 debut feature: This is an original zombie movie, an original zombie parody, and an original romantic comedy, all in one. But at its heart, Shaun succeeds because it is very much its own film: Its romance is romantic, its comedy hilarious, and its horror, if not actually frightening, at least lovingly and effectively executed. Midnight Sat., Jan. 6. Row House Cinema (Justin Hopper)

CP

Quest a night watching TV. These are giving, hard-working people; if they don’t have a lot of money, they do offer time and other social support. (It’s not for nothing that Christine’a is nicknamed “Ma Quest.”) And friends drop by Quest’s basement recording studio, where he hosts “freestyle Fridays,” a space for the neighborhood to congregate and spit some rhymes. But we also see the Raineys and their neighbors struggle in their lives with such headline-grabbing issues as addiction, gun violence, policing and health care. The Raineys aren’t heroes or particularly notable people, as in most documentaries — they’re just people getting by with resilience, hope and even some defeat. And yet, we rarely see such lives depicted in a straightforward yet affirmative fashion, lives that are no less important than the marquee ones we obsess over. At a neighborhood anti-violence rally, one man notes that there aren’t any politicians or big celebrities marching with them. “Our first role models,” he says, “need to be us.” Director Olshefski, a Pittsburgh native, will attend the 7 p.m. Fri., Jan. 5, screening, and will participate in a Q&A with local rapper/activist Jasiri X and filmmaker Tony Buba. Starts Fri., Jan. 5. Regent Square (AH)

time city exterminator. There are also ruminations on virtual-reality depictions of Baltimore (marred by weird glitches); a visit to an extraordinary set of tiny crime-scene dioramas; and, for contrast to the inner-city rats, some “fancy rodents” who enjoy what amounts to run-of-the-house in the suburbs. There is some interesting material here, and occasionally the disparate pieces pair well to make significant connections. But elsewhere, the material feels too incongruous, and the film’s experimental exposition falls flat. But the garrulous city rat-catcher, with his understanding of (and respect for) how rats persevere, is

BLUE HAWAII. Elvis Presley was born Jan. 8, 1935, but the birthday celebration is a day earlier this year. Relax with the King under the swaying palm trees in sunny Hawaii in this 1961 musical-comedy romance from Norman Taurog. Hum along to such enduring tunes as “Hawaiian Wedding Song,” “Rock a Hula Baby” and “Can’t Help Falling in Love.” Come in your best aloha wear and enjoy peanut-butter-and-banana sandwiches, birthday cake, raffles and a photo-op with “Elvis.” 4 p.m. Sun., Jan. 7. Hollywood HIDDEN FORTRESS. Two poor farmers on the run join a general (Toshiro Mifune) who is seeking a cache of gold and also hopes to free a princess, in Akira Kurosawa’s lightly comic samurai action film. The 1958 film has been cited by George Lucas as an inspiration for Star Wars. In Japanese, with subtitles. 6 p.m. Sun., Jan. 7. Regent Square

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Rat Film RAT FILM. Theo Anthony’s documentary essay is a mashup of topics designed to get viewers thinking about Baltimore, and what institutional systems, such as redlining, may have contributed to some of its current woes. And yes, there are rats — local Baltimore rats. Rats that were part of an influential Johns Hopkins study on slum life. Rats that bedevil current homeowners who just want to sit in their yards. And rats that have the misfortune to become the target of hobbyist rat-hunters, and a long-

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THERE’S GOLD IN PITTSBURGH’S FUTURE, JUST NOT IN THE WAY YOU MIGHT THINK

HISTORY LESSONS This week in Pittsburgh Sports History {BY CHARLIE DEITCH} JAN. 5, 1997 The Pittsburgh Steelers entered this wild-card playoff game against the New England Patriots hoping to return to the Super Bowl for the second consecutive year. However, a tomb-like fog encases Foxboro Stadium and a lackluster performance by the black-and-gold ends the team’s sixth consecutive playoff run.

JAN. 5, 2007 Steelers coach Bill Cowher retires after 15 seasons.

JAN. 5, 2011 Former Pirates pitcher Bert Blyleven, a key to the team’s 1979 World Series win, is elected to the baseball Hall of Fame.

JAN. 6, 1980 The Steelers win their fourth AFC title and fourth Super Bowl berth.

Bill Cowher

JAN. 8, 2006 During a wildcard playoff game against the Cincinnati Bengals, Steelers defensive lineman Kimo von Oelhoffen brings down Bengals’ quarterback Carson Palmer, destroying Palmer’s knee. The hit was within NFL rules and even Palmer didn’t blame the lineman. The next season, the NFL instituted the “Kimo Clause,” which required defenders to take every opportunity not to put a low hit on a quarterback.

Will Jung Ho Kang return to the Pirates in 2018?

[THE CHEAP SEATS]

2018 SPORTS PREDICTIONS

JAN. 9, 2014 Steve “Dirt” Dinardo, a groundskeeper at both Forbes Field and Three Rivers Stadium, dies of congestive heart failure. In a Pittsburgh Post-Gazette obituary, friends talked about how Dinardo was a “homer all the way” who would occasionally bend the rules to help his beloved Steelers and Pirates. Among the advantages he’d provide would be opening the end-zone gate when an opponent was kicking a field goal so the wind would whip into the stadium. According to the P-G, former Raiders coach John Madden saw Dinardo spraying water on the ice that had formed on the sideline. When asked by Madden what he was doing, Dinardo answered: “Melting the ice.”

JAN. 11, 1935 A young heavyweight boxing contender named Joe Louis fights Hans Birkie at Duquesne Gardens. Louis improves to 14-0 when he stops Birkie in the 10th round.

{BY MIKE WYSOCKI}

W

sports be without predictions? There are countless sports-only networks that make a living off talking about what might happen in a game. This week, City Paper takes on the role of soothsayer as we gaze into the crystal ball of 2018. These are sports predictions much like the late Jimmy “The Greek” Snyder used to make, minus the oldtimey racism. Some prognostications are easy, like that the Cleveland Browns will draft a top-notch college player who gets

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.03/01.10.2018

injured during training camp and ruins an otherwise promising career. That will happen; you can email it in. However, some predictions require taking a bit more of a risk. So, here’s how 2018 will pan out month by month.

January The start of the Steelers’ home playoff game is delayed for an hour because of a fire outside Heinz Field. A James Harrison jersey-burning scenario combines with some evangelicals burning Beatles

records because they are still mad at John Lennon. The fire gets a little too close to the stadium and the game has to wait. A few local heroes from Crafton contain the inferno by dumping cans of Iron City onto it. The Steelers play the Jaguars in the opening matchup and it’s closer than anticipated. Chris Boswell cements himself in Steelers history with another clutch kick to win the game 2118. The inevitable clash of superpowers is set as the team flies to Boston for the AFC Championship game against the


Former Steelers linebacker James Harrison

Patriots. James Harrison doesn’t see any action, as he is cut by his new team two days before the game.

February Peters Township native John-Henry Krueger, whose first two names mean he’s a steel-driving man, wins gold in short-track speed-skating at the Winter Olympics in South Korea. Krueger comes back to his native Peters Township a hero wearing his gold medal because that’s what medal-winners do. While he’s in South Korea, though, he negotiates the release of Jung Ho Kang, further endearing himself to sports fans in Pittsburgh. The love will be short-lived, however, when Kang returns to the Pirates and promptly hits .103.

March Pitt basketball fans finally get to stop complaining about the Panthers getting knocked out of the NCAA tournament too early. Unfortunately, it’s because they’re so bad that they simply aren’t invited to The Dance. Fans hit an all-time low, however, when they start complaining about being snubbed by the College Basketball Invitational tournament. Austin Peay State grabs the final coveted-by-no one spot. The good news, though, is that both Duquesne hoop teams advance to the Final Four in their respective Atlantic-10 tournaments.

April The Pirates start the season 3-1 as they beat up on the bottom-feeding Cincinnati Reds. Cries of “This is our year!” are quickly doused when the Bucs get swept by the Cubs in the next series. The Cubs’ starting rotation, which has a higher payroll than the Bucs entire roster, gives the team fits. But things even out as the month rolls on and the Pirates head toward another uneventful Pirates season.

May The infamous “Three-Petered Out” headline from 1993 is resurrected as the Penguins’ reign as the kings of hockey comes to an end. A fluke goal by the Columbus Blue Jackets in game 7 of the Eastern Conference finals ends the Pens’ run. A controversial instant replay of the winning goal goes Columbus’ way. The referees huddle up and for some reason announce that the goal is good and that the Patriots have won the game.

June Three more Pitt quarterbacks announce they are leaving the team because it’s a trendy thing to do. However, there’s better news as the Pittsburgh Thunderbirds finally trounce their rivals the Madison Radicals in Ultimate Disc competition. Meanwhile, the Pittsburgh Riverhounds continue to improve steadily on last CONTINUES ON PG. 34

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2018 SPORTS PREDICTIONS, CONTINUED FROM PG. 33

Former (and future?) Penguins goalie Marc-Andre Fleury

season’s 8-12-12 record by going 4-2-6 early in the year. Attendance for both sports is up, as local sports fans have little else to do waiting for Steelers training camp to open.

July The Pirates are once again sellers at the trade deadline. The Bucs ship Ivan Nova and Starling Marte to the San Francisco Giants for two AA players, Alex La Roche and a pitcher from Pakistan. The Pirates, however, remain in the wild-card hunt due to break-out seasons from Jameson Taillon, Trevor Williams and Tyler Glasnow.

August Nothing happens in August because, well, nothing ever happens in August.

September The Pitt Panthers once again upset Penn State at Heinz Field, and the ugliest socialmedia battle in college sports continues. Kenny Pickett throws for four touchdowns as Pitt gets a 31-30 victory over the Nittany Lions. Pitt is now 2-0 after last week’s scorching of the Albany Great Danes. Pitt still manages to crush fans’ hopes later in the season by dropping home games to Duke and Georgia Tech.

October Former Pitt football standout Larry Fitzgerald passes Terrell Owens for second on the all-time receiving yards list. He’s still 7,000 yards behind the only player with more,

Jerry Rice. Fitzgerald doesn’t rule out playing until he’s 47 to catch him. He goes on to pass Tony Gonzalez for second place in all-time receptions behind Rice. Coincidentally, the player who beat out Fitzgerald for the Heisman Trophy, Jason White of Oklahoma, has a pretty good week too. He sells 30 pairs of Pumas at his shoe store in the Sooner state. Also, despite the fact that White was undrafted and never played a down of regular-season ball in the NFL, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette sports columnist Ron Cook still doesn’t regret voting for White over Fitzgerald.

November The Penguins storm out of the gate and get off to the best start in team history. The fire has been re-lit as fans gear up for a run at Stanley Cup number six. The Pens also make an early-season trade with Vegas and re-acquire goalie MarcAndre Fleury. You can’t tell by his reaction, but Fleury is happy to be back. He is promptly and inexplicably benched in favor of Matt Murray.

December Pirates fans erupt in euphoria as the team is sold to a group of local investors. A group of wealthy Mount Lebanese businessmen get together and make the current owners an offer they can’t turn down. The Pirates immediately start bidding on top-name free agents whom fans have actually heard of. The Bucs are back and 2019 is looking good already. I N F O@ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.03/01.10.2018


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ACROSS 1. Chutney fruit 6. People hit them up for cash 10. Puzzle maker, e.g. 13. Tournament for everybody 14. Like toffee 16. Kitchen gizmo company 17. Huge valley 18. Every-man-forhimself skirmish 19. Skier Hudak 20. Totally FUBAR 22. ___ butter 24. Dallas Keuchel stat 25. In an on-target fashion 27. Removes the tangles 31. Morale booster 35. Airline mentioned in “Back in the U.S.S.R.” 36. Off to the side from 38. Hit the gym, say 39. Actress Miranda of “The Lord of the Rings” movies 40. Full-blown craze 41. Small amount 42. Roman matchmaking god 43. Outermost section that goes around the Pentagon 44. Turn black 45. Some sneaks 47. Spaces between

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.03/01.10.2018

the faucet and the flood line in plumbing 49. First name in Sephora 51. Logical conjunction 52. Wig feature 55. Some pistols 59. Total genius 60. Last year before the first Christmas 62. Sleazoid 64. Wood shaping tool 65. City in the Wasatch mountains 66. Looks over 67. Cryptogram’s tool 68. “Why the hell not” 69. Food, clothing, and shelter

DOWN 1. Car sticker fig. 2. Baseballer turned “Shark Tank” shark, for short 3. Writer/director Ephron 4. Area where joke writers hangout? 5. Golf champ Mark 6. Maker of the Indestructo Steel Ball and JetPropelled Unicycle 7. Courtroom VIP 8. Tillis of country 9. Fret about

blocking a play? 10. First word in the song “Get Back” 11. Farm team 12. Hold together 15. Mello ___ 21. Powwows deciding what the “Poker Face” singer should do next? 23. Supernatural music from Seattle? 26. Maker of Deli-Cat cat food 27. Underwater threat 28. “Wrong guy!” 29. Did nothing with 30. Unfilled in 32. Big kerfuffle 33. Scheduled next

34. Has on 37. Alex and ___ (jewelers) 46. “Nuh-uh” reply 48. Mark of “Uptown Funk” 50. Burning residue 52. Initialism on an envelope 53. Command to the guests at a surprise party 54. “Crazy Train” singer 56. Red in the face? 57. Like some feminists 58. Planner, for short 61. Part of a TA’s address 63. Series finale? {LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS}


FOR THE WEEK OF

Free Will Astrology

01.03-01.10

{BY ROB BREZSNY}

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Soulful beauty will be a major theme for you in 2018. Or at least it should be. But I suppose it’s possible you’re not very interested in soulful beauty, perhaps even bored by it. Maybe you prefer skin-deep beauty or expensive beauty or glamorous beauty. If you choose to follow predilections like those, you’ll lose out on tremendous opportunities to grow wilder and wiser. But let’s hope you make yourself available for a deeper, more provocative kind of beauty — a beauty that you could become more skilled at detecting as the year unfolds.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “Let your freak flag fly” was an expression that arose from the hippie culture of the 1960s and 1970s. It was a colorful way to say, “Be your most unique and eccentric self; show off your idiosyncrasies with uninhibited pride.” I propose that we revive it for your use in 2018. I suspect the coming months will be a favorable time for you to cultivate your quirks and trust your unusual impulses. You should give yourself maximum freedom to explore pioneering ideas and maverick inclinations. Paradoxically, doing so will lead to stabilizing and enduring improvements in your life.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In accordance with the astrological omens, I suggest you start compiling a list entitled, “People, Places, Ideas and Things I Didn’t Realize Until Now That I Could Fall in Love With.” And then keep adding more and more items to this tally during the next 10 months. To get the project underway in the proper spirit, you should wander freely and explore jauntily, giving yourself permission to instigate interesting mischief and brush up against deluxe temptations. For best results, open your heart and your eyes as wide as you can. One further clue: Act on the assumption that in 2018 you will be receptive to inspirational influences and life-transforming teachings that you have never before been aware of.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): In 2018, your past will undergo transformation. Your memories will revise and rearrange themselves. Bygone events that seemed complete and definitive will shimmy and shift, requiring new interpretations. The stories you have always told about how you became who you are will have to be edited, perhaps even rewritten. While these overhauls may sometimes be disconcerting, they will ultimately be liberating.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In 2018, people will be drawn to you even more than usual. Some will want you to be their rock — their steady, stable source of practical truth. Some will ask you to be their tonic — their regular, restorative dose of no-nonsense. And others will find in you a creative catalyst that helps them get out of their ruts and into their grooves. And what will you receive in return for providing such a stellar service? First, there’ll be many opportunities to deepen and refine your integrity. To wield that much influence means you’ll have to consistently act with high-minded motivations. And secondly, Taurus, you’ll get a steady supply of appreciation that will prove to be useful as well as gratifying.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Influences that oppose you will fade as 2018 unfolds. People who have been resistant and

uncooperative will at least partially disengage. To expedite the diminishing effects of these influences and people, avoid struggling with them. Loosen the grip they have on your imagination. Any time they leak into your field of awareness, turn your attention instead to an influence or person that helps and supports you. Here’s another idea about how to collaborate with the cosmic rhythms to reduce the conflict in your life: Eliminate any unconscious need you might have for the perversely invigorating energy provided by adversaries and bugaboos. Find positive new ways to motivate yourself.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): I predict that in 2018 you will figure out how to get your obsessions to consistently work for your greatest good. You will come to understand what you must do to ensure they never drag you down into manic self-sabotage. The resolute ingenuity you summon to accomplish this heroic feat will change you forever. You will be reborn into a more vibrant version of your life. Passions that in the past have drained and confused you will become efficient sources of fuel for your worthiest dreams.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Just because you have become accustomed to a certain trouble doesn’t mean you should stop searching for relief from that trouble. Just because a certain pain no longer knocks you into a demoralized daze for days at a time doesn’t mean it’s good for you. Now here’s the good news: In 2018, you can finally track down the practical magic necessary to accomplish a thorough healing of that trouble and pain. Make this the year you find a more ultimate cure.

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SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The Aztecs were originally wanderers. They kept moving from place to place, settling temporarily in areas throughout the land we now call Mexico. An old prophecy told them that they would eventually find a permanent home at a site where they saw an eagle roosting on a cactus as it clutched a snake in its talons. There came a day in the 14th century when members of the tribe spied this very scene on an island in the middle of a lake. That’s where they began to build the city that in time was the center of their empire. I bring this to your attention, Scorpio, so it can serve as a metaphor to guide you in 2018. I suspect that you, too, will discover your future power spot — the heart of

your domain for years to come.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Not every minute of every day, but when you have had the time, you’ve been searching for a certain treasure. With patience and persistence, you have narrowed down its whereabouts by collecting clues and following your intuition. Now, at last, you know its exact location. As you arrive, ready to claim it, you tremble with anticipation. But when you peel away the secrets in which it has been wrapped, you see that it’s not exactly what you expected. Your first response is disappointment. Nevertheless, you decide to abide in the presence of the confusing blessing and see what happens. Slowly, incrementally, you become aware of a new possibility: that you’re not quite ready to understand and use the treasure; that you’ll have to grow new capacities before you’ll be ready for it in its fullness. I’d love to see your top five New Year’s resolutions. Share by going to RealAstrology.com and clicking on “Email Rob.”

get your yoga on!

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Have you ever nursed a yearning to speak Swahili or Chinese or Russian? The coming months will be an excellent time to get that project underway. Do you fantasize about trying exotic cuisines and finding new favorite foods? I invite you to act on that fantasy in 2018. Is there a form of manual labor that would be tonic for your mental and physical health? Life is giving you a go-ahead to do more of it. Is there a handicraft or ball game you’d like to become more skilled at? Get started. Is there a new trick you’d like to learn to do with your mouth or hands? Now’s the time.

Kino MacGregor Feb 3-4

Teacher Training 2018

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):

Before the 15th century, European nations confined their sailing to the Mediterranean Sea. The ocean was too rough for their fragile, unadaptable ships. But around 1450, the Portuguese developed a new kind of vessel, the caravel. It employed a triangular sail that enabled it to travel against the wind. Soon, exploratory missions ventured into the open sea and down along the coast

GO TO REALASTROLOGY.COM TO CHECK OUT ROB BREZSNY’S EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES AND DAILY TEXT-MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. THE AUDIO HOROSCOPES ARE ALSO AVAILABLE BY PHONE AT 1-877-873-4888 OR 1-900-950-7700

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of West Africa. Eventually, this new technology enabled long westward trips across the Atlantic. I propose that we make the caravel your symbol of power for 2018, Libra. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you will find or create a resource that enables you to do the metaphorical equivalent of effectively sailing into the wind.

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Savage Love {BY DAN SAVAGE}

What have you always wanted to know about Pittsburgh?

“WHY DOES PITTSBURGH HAVE AN H IN IT?” “IS A PARKING-SPOT CHAIR LEGALLY BINDING?” “WHAT IS SLIPPY?” Mike Wysocki has the answers. (well...sorta)

SUBMIT YOUR PITTSBURGH QUESTIONS AT PGHCITYPAPER.COM

I married my high school sweetheart at 17, had a baby, together a few years, mental illness and subsequent infidelity led to things ending. My ex-husband remarried, divorced again, and is now in another LTR. I’m in an LTR for a decade with my current partner (CP), we have a few kids, and I’m so in love with him, it terrifies me. My ex frequently makes sexual remarks to me, low-key flirts. I feel an animal attraction in the moment. Whatever. I don’t want to be with him, my relationship with CP is solid AF, and I get amazing fucking at home from a man far more skilled. CP knows about ex-husband’s remarks and one actual physical advance. CP has offered to talk to my ex. I told him, nah, I’ll deal with it and make it stop. I talked to my ex-husband today, and he said: “I’m sorry, it’s just teasing, I won’t make an actual move ever again, but you’re the only woman I ever just look at and get immediately hard for, and it’s only a few more years before our kid is fully grown and we don’t see each other anymore. So humor me because you know we both enjoy it.” And it’s true that I do enjoy it. But how harmful is it to engage in flirty banter without any touching, nudity, or worse? I hate having secrets, as I feel they are barriers to intimacy, but I’m a thirtysomething mom and it is so fucking unbearably sexy to be made to feel so desirable even after all that shit between us and it’ll never, ever happen because hell no am I sleeping with my ex-hubby, but knowing this man will never get a whiff of my pussy again but can’t help but beg for it with his eyes gives me a sense of power like I’ve never fucking felt before, but even so I don’t want to be a terrible person for hiding this from my CP because I don’t like having secrets from him but this is just one that turns me on to no end but I should nip this in the bud and put a stop to it yesterday because it’s wrong, right?

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I’ve been with my girlfriend “J” for two years. Her best friend “M” is a gay man she’s known since high school. M and I have hung out many times. He seems cool, but lately I’ve been wondering if he and J are fucking behind my back. For starters, J and I rarely have sex anymore. Even a kiss on the cheek happens less than once a week. Meanwhile, J’s Facebook feed has pictures of M grabbing her tits outside of a gay club in front of her sister. She told me he’s spent the night in her room, even though he lives only a few miles away. I’ve also recently found out that although M has a strong preference for men, he considers himself bisexual. I understand that everyone loves tits, even if they’re not turned on by them, and gay men can sleep with a girl and actually just … sleep. I also know that her antidepressants can kill sex drive. All three things at once feel like more than just coincidence, though. At the very least, the PDAs seem disrespectful. At worst, I’m a blind fool who’s been replaced. Am I insecure or is there something to these worries?

AT THE VERY LEAST, THE PDAS SEEM DISRESPECTFUL.

SECRET LONGINGS UTTERLY TITILLATING

I love a good run-on sentence — grammar fetishists are going to get off on diagramming that doozy you closed with — so I’m going to give it a shot, too: I don’t see the harm in enjoying your ex-husband’s flirtations so long as you’re certain you’ll never, ever take him up on his standing offer, but you are playing with fire here, SLUT, so pull on a pair of asbestos panties when you know you’ll be seeing your ex-hubby, and I don’t think you should feel bad about this secret because while honesty is great generally and while the keeping of secrets is frowned upon by advice professionals reflexively, SLUT, a little mystery, a little dis-

Add us by snapcode or search by username PGHCITYPAPER

tance, a little erotic autonomy keeps our sex lives with long-term partners hot — even monogamous relationships — so instead of seeing this secret as a barrier to intimacy, SLUT, remind yourself that the erotic charge you get from your ex-hubby — the way he makes you feel desirable — benefits your CP, because he’s the one who will be getting a big, fat whiff of your pussy when you get home and there’s nothing wrong with that, right?

YOU PICK THE ACRONYM I GOTTA GET TO WORK

Your girlfriend’s best friend isn’t gay, YPTAIGGTW, he’s bisexual — so, yeah, it’s entirely possible M is fucking your girlfriend, since fucking girls is something bisexual guys do and, according to one study, they’re better at it. (Australian women who had been with both bi and straight guys ranked their bi male partners as more attentive lovers, more emotionally available, and better dads, according to the results of a study published in 2016.) But while we can’t know for sure whether M is fucking J, YPTAIGGTW, we do know who she isn’t fucking: you. If the sex is rare and a kiss — on the cheek — is a once-a-week occurrence, it’s time to pull the plug. Yes, antidepressants can be a libido killer. They can also be a dodge. If your girlfriend doesn’t regard the lack of sex as a problem and isn’t working on a fix — if she’s prioritizing partying with her bisexual bestie over talking to her doc and adjusting her meds, if she hasn’t offered you some sort of accommodation/outlet/work-around for the lack of sex — trust your gut and get out.

SEND YOUR QUESTIONS TO MAIL@SAVAGELOVE.NET AND FIND THE SAVAGE LOVECAST (DAN’S WEEKLY PODCAST) AT SAVAGELOVECAST.COM


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The

2018

SPIRIT KING of

Award Ceremony

This annual award honors lifetime achievement in the spirit of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Port Authority is proud to present Katie Everette-Johnson as the 2018 Spirit of King honoree. The ceremony takes place Thursday, January 11th 10:00 am at The Kingsley Center, 6435 Frankstown Avenue.


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