September 6, 2017 - Pittsburgh City Paper

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ter than Cleveland

ARCaHrIsEo’S n

“Pittsburgh is bet

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Join the City Paper staff for a Sunday NFL Ticket Viewing Vie ie Party on September 10. FIRST DRINK IS ON US! 2328 EAST E S Carson C rs STREET S REE R • 412.481.0852 • archiesoncarson.com

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Erin Markey: BONER KILLER EVENTS 9.15 - 8pm TQ LIVE! A queer evening of dazzling performance, dance, poetry, comedy, music, and more. Please note this performance contains adult subject matter and strong language.

Tickets $10/$8 members & students

9.16 - 8pm & 10pm NIGHT OF 1,000 MARILYNS 8pm VIP & General, 10pm Late Night Tickets $200 VIP; $50 General; $25 Late-nite

9.21 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: SELECTOR DUB NARCOTIC WITH SPECIAL GUEST STRANGEWAYS The Warhol entrance space Free parking is available in The Warhol lot.

Tickets $10/$8 members and students

9.29 – 8pm

9.26 – 10am-5pm RADICAL DAY 2017, FEATURING FREE ADMISSION Bring the whole family to The Warhol for a unique day of art and fun.

Free

The Warhol theater, Co-presented with Carnegie Mellon University School of Art and School of Drama.

Tickets $15/$12 members and students; visit warhol.org or call 412.237.8300. Doors open at 7:30 p.m.

Comprised of her signature story-driven stand-up and scored by sensual homemade pop, Erin Markey’s Boner Killer is an intimate musical conversation between what Markey thinks she can’t have and how she’d have it if she could. Driven by Whitney Houston’s lesbian mythologies, Europe™, and a Pretty Woman accident, Markey transforms personal humiliations into feminist hope. Markey and frequent collaborator Emily Bate make up the two-girl band responsible for original and sampled music sopping with emotion and troubled by knotty harmonies.

9.30 – 2pm MEMBER TOUR: TOUR WITH DONALD WARHOLA Warhol’s nephew, Donald Warhola, shares candid stories about his trips to visit “Uncle Andy” and Julia Warhola (Warhol’s mother, and Donald’s grandmother).

Free for members; registration is suggested.

Please note this performance contains adult subject matter and strong language.

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The Andy Warhol Museum receives state arts funding support through a grant from the Pennsylvania Council on the Arts, a state agency funded by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania; the National Endowment for the Arts, a federal agency and The Heinz Endowments. Further support is provided by the Allegheny Regional Asset District.

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CORNING

W OR K S

AND THE NEW HAZLETT THEATER PRESENT

THE GLUE FACTORY PROJECT dance theater productions created on internationally & nationally renowned performers over the age of 40.

six a breast encapsulates the lunacy of all our lives, no matter the gender, but women...we got the ‘mother lode’ ...backwards and in heels.

Choreography & performance by Beth Corning, Starring Beth Corning, Sally Rousse, Laurie Van Wieren Lighting by Iain Court

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5 NIGHTS ONLY! SEPTEMBER 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

The New Hazlett Theater, Northside

FOR TICKETS ONLINE: www.brownpapertickets.com FOR INFO: 412.320.4610 www.corningworks.org

BUS SERVICE TO THE NEW HAZLETT THEATER, NORTHSIDE

1-2-4-6-8-11-12-13-15-16-17-54 FOR MORE INFORMATION GO TO:

09.06/09.13.2017 VOLUME 27 + ISSUE 36

[EDITORIAL] Editor CHARLIE DEITCH News Editor REBECCA ADDISON Arts & Entertainment Editor BILL O’DRISCOLL Associate Editor AL HOFF Digital Editor ALEX GORDON Staff Writers RYAN DETO, CELINE ROBERTS Music Writer MEG FAIR Interns HALEY FREDERICK, HANNAH LYNN, JAKE MYSLIWCZYK, AMANDA REED

[ART] Director of Operations KEVIN SHEPHERD Production Director JULIE SKIDMORE Art Director LISA CUNNINGHAM Graphic Designers JEFF SCHRECKENGOST, JENNIFER TRIVELLI

[ADVERTISING] Associate Publisher JUSTIN MATASE Senior Account Executives PAUL KLATZKIN, JEREMY WITHERELL Advertising Representatives MACKENNA DONAHUE, BLAKE LEWIS, JENNIFER MAZZA Classified Manager ANDREA JAMES National Advertising Representative VMG ADVERTISING 1.888.278.9866 OR 1.212.475.2529

[MARKETING+PROMOTIONS] Marketing Director LINDSEY THOMPSON Marketing Assistant LIZ VENUTO Office Coordinator THRIA DEVLIN

{COVER ILL USTRATIONS AND CLEV ELAND SCEN ON BOTH PITTSBURG H CITY PAPE E BY PITTS BURGH AR R TIST JIM RU GG}

[ADMINISTRATION]

[COVER STORY]

The Steelers are better than the Browns. Everybody knows it. There’s no denying it. And while the Pittsburgh-Cleveland rivalry may have started with a football game, it goes way beyond that. In this issue, we team up with our less-competent journalistic counterparts from Cleveland Scene to debate the merits of our cities. Check out the arguments in our news, food and sports sections.

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News 06 News of the Weird 16 Music 18 Arts 27 Events 31 Taste 34

Screen 38 Sports 40 Classifieds 43 Crossword 43 Astrology 44 Savage Love 45 The Last Word 46 NEWS

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Circulation Director JIM LAVRINC Office Administrator RODNEY REGAN Interactive Media Manager CARLO LEO

[PUBLISHER] EAGLE MEDIA CORP. GENERAL POLICIES: Contents copyrighted 2017 by Eagle Media Corp. All rights reserved.

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THIS WEEK

PITTSBURGH VS. CLEVELAND: WHO WILL COME OUT ON TOP?

ONLINE

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Think you’re an expert at Trumpisms? Test your knowledge at www.pghcitypaper.com, where we paired Donald Trump’s most-used phrases and nicknames with stock-art images.

Check out our Instagram account for #AbovePittsburgh, intern Jake Mysliwczyk’s new weekly drone-photography feature.

CP recently joined ProPublica’s Documenting Hate project, aimed at collecting reports of hate crimes and bias incidents. If you’ve been a victim or a witness, tell us your story at www.pghcitypaper.com.

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THE RIVALRY ISSUE

CITY PAPER

Everyone knows about the animosity between the Steelers and the Browns, but Pittsburgh is way better than Cleveland in ways you never thought of

INTERACTIVE

{BY THE STAFFS OF PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER AND CLEVELAND SCENE}

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Our featured photo from last week is by @bradyfromtheburgh. Use #CPReaderArt to share your local photos with us for your chance to be featured next!

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T STARTED WITH too much pride and too much booze. This summer, in Washington, D.C., reporters from Pittsburgh City Paper and Cleveland Scene bickered about whose town was better. The conversation was friendly, but combative, as any good rivalry should be, and focused on which city had better food, infrastructure, people, education, etc. Both papers know the football rivalry between the Browns and Steelers started the intercity feud, but that contest isn’t as contentious as it used to be. (Go Steelers!)

However, that doesn’t mean the rivalry should die. There are too many similarities between Pittsburgh and Cleveland to let that happen. The metro areas of Cleveland

and Pittsburgh are almost identical (see sidebar on page 9), and culturally, we are equally obsessed with sports and nostalgia.

Our pasts and presents are similar too. Both

MORE RIVALRY ISSUE CONTENT:

FOOD — PAGE 34 BOOZE — PAGE 37 FILM — PAGE 38 SPORTS — PAGE 40 cities had huge economic collapses linked to the fall of heavy industry; both are staging comebacks tied to innovative fields like medicine and tech. Residents in each town

deeply love their cities despite being ridiculed by the national media for decades.

This week, CP and our friends at Scene are combining forces to bring Rust Belt readers a battle pitting our two great cities against each other. Who’s got a better signature sandwich? Whose regional accent is better? Whose local booze is best? Whose music is superior? Which city’s attractions are tops? Each paper’s writers have made their case; it’s up to you to decide.

So, check out the stories in our news, food, drink, and sports sections about the Steel City’s supremacy over the Mistake on the Lake. And make sure to cut out the Scene’s contributions for lining your cat’s litter box. (Ryan Deto) CONTINUES ON PG. 08

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is about more than just the rides. The food at Kennywood is where it’s at. Around Pittsburgh, Potato Patch fries, with a healthy serving of cheese and bacon on top, are the stuff of legend. We spend the whole winter salivating over them. (Rebecca Addison)

ACCENTS Pittsburgh If hearing the way Pittsburghers say “out” as “aht,” or “you all” as “yinz,” doesn’t bring a smile to your face, then you’re not human. Our accent is so distinct and beloved that regional grocery-store chain, Giant Eagle, used to have video-rental stores called “Iggle Video,” corresponding to our phonetic pronunciation of “eagle.” Elocution is for suckers. Pittsburghers embrace efficiency when speaking; no one can talk more and speak faster than Yinzers. Why say three syllables in “slippery” when “slippy” will do? “Bologna” is unphonetic, so just say “jumbo.” If you want to talk proper and precise, you’re probably a jagoff from Cleveland. (RD)

Cedar Point When the esteemed Golden Ticket awards debuted its 2016 list of best wood and steel coasters in the world, you all probably felt tickled to see four of Kennywood’s rides on the list. How utterly and adorably cute. The kind of accolades usually reserved for kiddie parks.

Maybe a town whose idea of thrills is avoiding Jeff Reed in a Sheetz bathroom thinks that’s fun.

Cedar Point, meanwhile, clocked in with seven nods from the Golden Ticket voters who probably didn’t bestow more awards for the king of all amusement parks, because they still couldn’t feel their brains or hands after getting off the iconic Millennium Force. (Vince Grzegorek)

is cution , o l E “ r suckers fo yinz. ” {CP PHOTO BY MIKE SCHWARZ}

Cleveland

The Allegheny County Courthouse in Downtown Pittsburgh

No one in Cleveland believes that we have an accent, though we’ll quietly admit that we each have a great-aunt who pronounces “off” like “ahf.”

It’s cute, and we’re all in on the gag. Plus it’s always a fun bar debate, because we’re lighthearted and easily understood people.

Yinz over in Pittsburgh may as well be speaking a drunken form of Orcish. Readers: We had to hire a very expensive translator for our calls with the City Paper staff, and we’re still not sure if they’re a legit paper or some sort of 1-900 outfit with a lust for writers. (Eric Sandy)

Pittsburgh If we’re talking sports metaphors, sure, Cleveland might take a couple of games in a best of seven series. Frank Gehry’s Peter B. Lewis building at Case Western edges out Scogin and Elam’s Gates Center at CMU for best 21st-century building.

And Koning Eizenberg’s Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh versus Farshid Moussavi’s Museum of Contemporary Art in Cleveland could come down to a call at the plate. But Pittsburgh’s turn-of-the-20th-century buildings, such as the Carnegie Museum of Art and the Frick Building, surpass Cleveland comparables, and our vernacular housing in the picturesque landscape is unmatched. Most importantly, the Allegheny County Courthouse and Jail is our series-ending, walk-off home run. (Charles Rosenblum)

AMUSEMENT PARKS Kennywood No matter how old you are, every Pittsburgher knows the feeling you get when you’re on your way to Kennywood, and you see the tips of the highest roller coasters. It’s a thing of beauty. We don’t need chrome coasters.

Nothing beats the old-timey charm of the classic wooden coasters such as the Jack Rabbit, Racer and Thunderbolt. And a great amusement park

ARCHITECTURE

Cleveland {CLEVELAND PHOTO BY ERIK DROST}

The Terminal Tower looms alongside Key Tower in downtown Cleveland.

Listen: The Terminal Tower is one of the most iconic buildings between Willard and Empire. It’s a near-perfect representation of all a metropolis can be. Then — then! — we built a modern rendition on the design with Key Tower. We

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09.06/09.13.2017

Applicants must be 18 years of age, have valid driver’s license and access to a vehicle.

Call 724-933-5142 for more information To apply go to: www.invisionhs.org/careers/ EEO EMPLOYER

Googled “Pittsburgh skyline” and just got some images of an old Tower of London LEGO set strewn across a kitchen floor. We’ve got so much choice architecture in Cleveland that we literally let it sit unused, like The Arcade, a relic only to aesthetic grandeur and food-court dining.

Goodness gracious, even our downtown grocery story is the stuff of Instagram architecture porn. It’s hard to match that when everything is painted black and yellow; it’s OK. (ES)

{CP PHOTO BY JAKE MYSLIWCZYK}

Bike lanes in Downtown Pittsburgh

BIKE LANES Pittsburgh It may seem like Pittsburghers hate bike lanes, but they don’t. Mayor Bill Peduto’s 2017 mayoral campaign opponents basically argued bike lanes were responsible for Pittsburgh’s troubles, but Peduto won the primary in a landslide. Pittsburgh now has about 45 miles of bike lanes, including more than 4 miles of protected lanes. Penn Avenue’s protected lane in Downtown sometimes gets more than 1,000 riders a day. And our Great Allegheny Passage trail provides 335 miles of car-free travel from Downtown Pittsburgh to Washington, D.C. All Clevelanders can do is loop the half-mile around Public Square on their training wheels. (RD)

Cleveland Cleveland has a national reputation for imbecilic traffic engineers — one in particular — so do consider our handicap at a maximum.

That said, we’ve got something called “guerilla stripers,” local transit activists appareled a la cat burglars, who paint bike lanes on streets in the dead of night to force the city’s hand.

What a cool, participatory citizenry! That’s way cooler than anything Pittsburgh’s got, which as far as we can tell is just a responsive, compassionate city government that prioritizes things like sustainability and transit equity.

What a bunch of squares. (Sam Allard)

BRIDGES Pittsburgh According to a 2006 study, Pittsburgh has 446 bridges. How do you even compete with that?

But we don’t just top Cleveland in number alone. Our bridges are also really cool. The Roberto Clemente Bridge isn’t just named for a baseball great. On big game days, we shut it

JUST THE FACTS {BY RYAN DETO}

PITTSBURGH Metro population (2016): 2,342,299 Demographics (2015): 87.3% white, 8.2% black, 2.1% Asian, 1.5% Latino Median household income (2015): $52,499 Unemployment rate (June 2017): 5.3% Gross Metropolitan Product (2015): $138.8 billion Beloved nicknames: City of Bridges, City of Champions, Steel City, The Burgh Cruel nicknames: Shitsburgh, The Pitts

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CLEVELAND Metro population (2016): 2,055,612 Demographics (2015): 74.2% white, 20% black, 2.1% Asian, 5.2% Latino Median household income (2015): $49,925 Unemployment rate (June 2017): 6.4% Gross Metropolitan Product (2015): $128.4 billion Beloved nicknames: Best Location in the Nation, Forest City, The Land Cruel nicknames: Mistake on the Lake, Thieveland

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down so baseball fans can get to the ballpark.

We also host entire festivals on our bridges, like the annual Picklesburgh. And currently, the Rachel Carson Bridge is home to 27,000 multicolored LED lights as part of a temporary light display run by wind turbines. That’s right — our bridges also generate energy. (RA)

Cleveland Sure, you guys have some impressive bridges.

But where’s the imagination? Where’s the panache? They’re all thematically colored to

{CP PHOTO BY JAKE MYSLIWCZYK}

{CLEVELAND PHOTO BY ERIK DROST}

Pittsburgh’s Fort Pitt Bridge

The Guardians of Traffic stand on the Lorain-Carnegie bridge in Cleveland.

match your teams, but we’ll overlook that flaw for now. Here in Cleveland, we put up mighty statues to technological wonder on our bridges. We house old streetcar rails under ours and provide the city’s wonderful residents annual tours thereof. We honor guys like Bob Hope with our bridges, American icons who brought joy to untold scores of the Greatest Generation. And when the Public Works crew isn’t looking, we paint lovely elegies to friendship on the sides of those bridges. (ES)

Boyardee can of shitty pasta is enough to be a celebrity. Pittsburgh can also claim a Batman (Michael Keaton), a dinosaur wrangler (Jeff Goldblum), a pop diva (Christina Aguilera), a Mr. Spock (Zachary Quinto) and one of the county’s most-well known billionaires, Mark Cuban. (RD)

CELEBRITIES Pittsburgh Producing such treasures as Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood is just the tip of Pittsburgh’s celebrity iceberg. Fred Rogers, from nearby Latrobe, Pa., produced his childrens’ show at Pittsburgh’s WQED television station for 35 years. Film-and-dance icon Gene Kelly (Singin’ in the Rain) was born and raised in Pittsburgh.

In Cleveland, getting your face onto a Chef

Cleveland Hey, is anyone on your list named Harvey Pekar?

No? OK. Celebrities come from all over, their geographical origins irrelevant to their rise, really, since it’s their talent and ego that propel CONTINUES ON PG. 12

Image: Irving Penn, Mouth (for L’Oréal), New York, 1986, printed 1992, Smithsonian American Art Museum, Gift of The Irving Penn Foundation.

Copyright © The Irving Penn Foundation

F I N A L DAYS! T H R O U G H S E P T. 10

Irving Penn: Beyond Beauty is organized by the Smithsonian American Art Museum with generous support from ART MENTOR FOUNDATION LUCERNE, Sakurako and William Fisher, The William R. Kenan Jr. Endowment Fund, The Lauder Foundation – Leonard and Judy Lauder Fund, Edward Lenkin and Roselin Atzwanger, The Robert Mapplethorpe Foundation, Margery and Edgar Masinter, The Margery and Edgar Masinter Exhibitions Fund, the James F. Petersen Charitable Fund in honor of Tania and Tom Evans, The Bernie Stadiem Endowment Fund, and the Trellis Fund. The C.F. Foundation in Atlanta supports the museum’s traveling exhibition program, Treasures to Go.

THEFRICKPITTSBURGH.ORG 412-371-0600 7227 REYNOLDS STREET PITTSBURGH, PA 15208

Admission: $10, Members free.

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Eddie Van Halen; photo by Larry Singer

g n I k l A T AIn’T E v o l t U o ‘b Coming to Cleveland? Go Rock Yourself rockhall.com | 888.764.7625 1100 Rock and Roll Boulevard | Cleveland, Ohio 44114-1022

– Right next door to First Energy Stadium! –

THIS SUNDAY IN CLE!

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Keep your car.

Trade in your loan.

Refinancing with us could save you hundreds*.

Brandon Greene, Agent 146 Forest Hills Plaza Pittsburgh Pa 15221 Phone: 412-824-4800

Before high car payments get you down, give us an opportunity to help bring them down – with great rates and no closing costs or hidden fees.

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{CLEVELAND PHOTO BY MICHAEL SPRING}

Playhouse Square attracts a bustling crowd in Cleveland.

{CP PHOTO BY JORDAN MILLER}

Downtown Gallery Crawl outside SPACE Gallery in Downtown Pittsburgh

them on their path to stardom. Paul Newman wasn’t a better actor or more marketable because he grew up in Northeast Ohio, anymore than Gene Kelly could credit his ascension to the A-list to his origins in Pittsburgh. Ah, but Harvey Pekar, the man who drew fans worldwide, through his comic books and frequent appearances on David Letterman. The man who was famous because of, and whose talent resided in, his city. It made him, and he made it. (VG)

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

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09.06/09.13.2017

Pittsburgh’s downtown is modestly sized, but culturally, it’s as loaded with talent as the Steelers’ receiving corps. Our symphony regularly tours Europe, and our ballet and opera companies are top-notch. The district boasts three accomplished theater troupes, three grand performance halls, an art-house cinema, several cutting-edge art galleries, a comedy theater, and the newly reborn August Wilson Center, focusing on African-American culture.

It’s got a nationally known museum of cartoon art. And every summer, thanks to Anthrocon,

there are more furries on this little patch of real estate than can be found in some developed countries. (Bill O’Driscoll)

Cleveland Playhouse Square is the largest theater complex in the United States after New York’s Lincoln Center. The theaters there — the Ohio, the State, the Palace — are not only aesthetic marvels; annually, they host more touring Broadway productions than any other city east of Chicago. The local theatrical energy is electric as well, with adventurous community theaters emerging in the past decade. That’s all alongside Cleveland Public Theatre, one of the country’s most highly regarded theaters for new and experimental work; and, of course, Karamu House, in Fairfax, the oldest African-American theater in the United States.

In Pittsburgh, we understand they’ve given up on live theater because they all decided it was too hard to memorize their lines. (SA)

DIY Pittsburgh Pittsburgh’s DIY scene has always evoked

Join Us

reactions of starry-eyed fascination. We’ve got artfully crafted flyers, plus venues ranging from houses to warehouses and galleries to bars plus a cooperative all-ages space. Local labels range from tape labels to full works with PR folks and marketing campaigns. There are so many good bands here, there’s not enough space to write about all of them. Any given night, there are multiple shows happening. How much time do you have? I’m just scratching the surface. I’ll sit here all day and tell you what I love about our DIY scene. It’s that damn good. (Meg Fair)

In A Celebration of Recovery!

Cleveland For a time, Cleveland played host to one of the great underground punk venues in the Midwest: Speak In Tongues, which now bears legendary status in local lore and which spawned several awesome DIY spots around town. We now hang out at Now That’s Class or any number of house shows, where dedicated guys and gals put up touring bands and pass around a beat-up Tribe hat for gas money. We’re not sure what passes for DIY in Pittsburgh, if only because we’re too busy cleaning up the basement from last night. (Don’t you Pittsburgh people all have toilets in all your basements? That’s actually pretty cool.) (ES)

Saturday, Sept. 16, 2017 • 9:00AM

Join us for the second annual Pittsburgh Recovery Walk through downtown Pittsburgh as we celebrate the many roads to recovery from addiction and all those who’ve traveled them. Everyone is welcome!

• FREE to Participants • Guest Speakers • Recovery Resources • Fitness & Kid’s Activities • Marching Band • And Much More!

Visit pghrecoverywalk.org to Register Your Team or as an Individual (Pre-registrants Get a Free T-shirt!)

{CP PHOTO BY JAKE MYSLIWCZYK}

The Andy Warhol Museum

MUSEUMS The Andy Warhol Museum As if it weren’t enough to celebrate the life, works and legacy of a native son who’s merely one of the most influential artists ever, The Warhol is North America’s largest single-artist museum. Visitors from around the world traverse seven floors of exhibits, ranging from archival material from Andy’s childhood to his epochal soup-can paintings and beyond.

Catch his groundbreaking film and video works on demand, see temporary exhibits noting his inescapable influence on latter-day giants like Ai Weiwei, and even — if it’s rock ’n’ roll you’re into — learn about Andy’s crucial role in the career of a little band called the Velvet Underground. (BO)

Celebrating Roads to Recovery 2017 Presenting Sponsor:

Rock & Roll Hall of Fame We could go on and on about the literal district of museums on the eastside, but we’ll narrow the focus now to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum. Its iconic design (from world renowned I.M. Pei) is instantly recognizable to CONTINUES ON PG. 14

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anyone who’s spent a night of teenage joyriding with the Stones on the stereo. It’s a Day-One agenda item for any visit to Cleveland, and we’re damn proud that it stands tall at the top of our city. Whattaya got? Warhol? A can of Campbell’s chicken noodle? If soup is art for you people, then maybe we should just get back to the football talk. (ES)

MUSIC Jazz

LANDMARKS PRESERVATION RESOURCE CENTER - A program of the Pittsburgh History & Landmarks Foundation Foundation

JOIN US AT THE LANDMARKS PRESERVATION RESOURCE CENTER FOR ONGOING WORKSHOPS AS WE CONTINUE PROGRAMMING ON ARCHITECTURE, HISTORY, DESIGN, URBAN PLANNING, AND OTHER TOPICS RELATED TO HOW CITIES FUNCTION AND HISTORIC PRESERVATION AS A TOOL OF COMMUNITY DEVELOPMENT.

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 12 • 6:00 PM – 7:30 PM

GARDENING WORKSHOP: EASY HOUSEPLANTS TO ENHANCE YOUR LIFE MARTHA SWISS GARDEN WRITER & DESIGNER Houseplants are making a comeback! It’s no wonder: houseplants add oxygen to our homes, help purify and humidify the air, and add life and beauty to interior spaces. Learn which houseplants are easiest to grow and see a sampling of flowering and foliage plants to consider trying. We’ll also cover how to choose pots and decorative containers, potting soil, light, feeding, watering, and how to care for orchids. Lecture and demonstration.

ABOUT THE PRESENTER: Martha Swiss is a garden writer, designer, and speaker. She is a regular contributor to Pennsylvania Gardener magazine and the publications editor for the Pittsburgh Botanic Garden. Her articles have also appeared in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette and Fine Gardening. She is a graduate of Chatham University’s landscape design program and a Penn State master gardener.

THIS WORKSHOP IS FREE TO PHLF MEMBERS. NON-MEMBERS: $10.

RSVPS ARE APPRECIATED: MARYLU@PHLF.ORG OR 412-471-5808 EXT. 527 FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT WWW.PHLF.ORG 744 REBECCA AVENUE

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WILKINSBURG, PA 15221

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

09.06/09.13.2017

412-471-5808

Where would modern jazz’s rhythm section be without Pittsburgh? Nowhere, that’s where. From the early work of drummer Art Blakey, bassist Ray Brown and a handful of pianists — Errol Garner, Horace Parlan, Sonny Clark — to modern drummers like ex-pat Jeff “Tain” Watts and hometown denizen David Throckmorton, the Steel City has contributed far more to the music’s foundation than the Mistake by the Lake. We’ve birthed countless horn players (which could fill this space), not to mention the musicians who nurture on and off the bandstand, from Roger Humphries and Nelson Harrison to Joe Negri.

While the ’Burgh loves its past, we’re not resting our swinging laurels either. (Mike Shanley)

Rock ’n’ Roll We’re known almost singularly on the national stage for rock ’n’ roll, and we back it up nightly in any one of our 174 music venues across the

city. Hell, we even host shows in living rooms and basements and ad-agency offices. We’re home to one of the greatest concerts of all time — Springsteen in ’78 — and yet still our local bands very nearly outstrip the Boss of his title on the reg. We might not have Nashville’s Broadway Avenue, but neither does Pittsburgh. You guys might lay claim to some serious jazz heavyweight DNA, but we’re a blues town: We’ll always take our 12 bars with stiff drinks at 12 different bars — and we’ll do it in one evening. (ES)

SOCIAL JUSTICE LEADERS Pittsburgh Cleveland probably only has one important figure (like its one measly sports title in 50 years), but our social-justice reach is far reaching. Without Rachel Carson, it’s easy to imagine a world where everyone’s a climate-change denier. Carson’s book Silent Spring is often credited with kickstarting modern environmentalism. Without Pittsburgh native August Wilson, it’s easy to imagine a world with far fewer powerful black voices.

Wilson’s Pulitzer Prize-winning plays gave theater-goers empowered African-American characters willing to tackle racial stereotypes.

And with the 1892 Homestead strike, the modern labor movement was born. (RD)

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Cleveland “No matter how events of the [1960s] are reported or analyzed, Cleveland will always be the first major American city to have elected a black mayor, and Carl Stokes will have been that first black mayor.” — Estelle Zannes. Mic drop. (SA)

UNIVERSITIES Pittsburgh

a cool new sport like standup paddle boarding, but after some research, it appears you do. But you know what you don’t have? Surfing. Oh wait — you have that too? And you do it on a lake with real waves instead of the manmade ones we create off the back of a boat? Whatever.

Our three rivers still beat your one. And none of our major bodies of water have ever caught on fire. (RA)

Do they still have polio in Cleveland? Didn’t think so. You can thank the University of Pittsburgh’s Jonas Salk for that one, who developed the vaccine in ’55 and gave it to the world gratis (that means free, for our Ohioan friends). Down the street, Carnegie Mellon University is leading the world in robotics and artificial intelligence, while churning out Tony Award-winning actors.

Credit where it’s due: Oberlin’s a pretty good school. Facts where they’re needed: It’s 40 miles outside the 216. Quite a reach there.

Why not rope in Xavier and Ohio State while you’re at it? (Alex Gordon)

T h i s nd e Weekly!

On

Cleveland The university landscapes in Cleveland and Pittsburgh are remarkably similar, with one key distinction: Cleveland’s colleges are much better. Pittsburgh’s Carnegie Mellon is ranked slightly higher than Cleveland’s Case Western in the U.S. News and World Report rankings, but nobody reads U.S. News and World Report anymore because it’s become a destitute sell-sword publication good only for stroking the egos of colleges and hospitals and used cars. Cleveland State is on the rise, while Pitt’s only claim to fame is being named after the smelliest body part. Oberlin, natch, is the wokest of the woke. (SA)

WATERFRONT RECREATION Pittsburgh To be honest, we didn’t think a backward town like Cleveland would have such

Wine Revelry

{CP PHOTO BY JAKE MYSLIWCZYK}

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g & The Leg Free Wine Tastin

Cleveland Pittsburgh’s downtown is called the Golden Triangle, which is a truly aberrant sexual reference we’d rather not discuss just now. It’s got rivers. Big deal. Cleveland has a river too, and a lake. A Great Lake, complete with beaches and other lakefront amenities, like sailing. Like the Allegheny, Monongahela and Ohio rivers in Pittsburgh, the Cuyahoga River offers watersports like standup paddle boarding, kayaking and the like. But Cleveland has an additional extreme-sports edge: Watercraft users get the thrill of dodging the Great Lakes freighters that chart their southward course toward ArcelorMittal Steel on a daily basis, making for sublime photo ops and a perfect blend of commerce and recreation that dramatizes the city’s diversified resurgence. (SA)

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A California man with European heritage “strong and pure” placed an ad on Craigslist in advance of the solar eclipse on Aug. 21, seeking a “worthy female” to have sex with him in Oregon and “conceive a child that will be on the next level of human evolution.” “Everything will be aligned in the local universe. Both of our cosmic orgasmic energy will be aligned with the planets,” the ad posited. He had only one specific caveat: “You must like cats.” The ad has since been deleted.

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When Louise Kennedy, an equine veterinarian from Ireland who has worked in Australia for the past two years on a skilled-worker visa, decided to stay in the country, she had to take the Pearson Test of English as part of her requirements for permanent residency. Imagine her surprise when, as a native English speaker with two university degrees, she flunked the oral component of the computer-based test. “There’s obviously a flaw in their computer software when a person with perfect oral fluency cannot get enough points,” Kennedy said. For its part, Pearson has denied that there is any problem with its test or scoring “engine.” Kennedy will pursue a spouse visa so she can remain with her Australian husband.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

In Saint-Bernard-de-Lacolle, Quebec, near Plattsburgh, N.Y., the Canadian military is building a refugee camp to house asylum-seekers coming from the United States, where recent migrants fear the current administration’s immigration crackdown.

Montreal has already turned its Olympic Stadium into a shelter for refugees. The new camp would house 500 people in heated tents while they wait for refugee applications to be processed. More than 3,300 people crossed into Quebec from the U.S. between January and June 2017.

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United States Border Patrol agent Robert Rocheleau and Alburgh, Vt., resident Mark Johnson, 53, exchanged tense words on Aug. 3 when Johnson climbed down from his tractor and demanded to know why Rocheleau wasn’t doing more to apprehend illegal immigrants. Johnson said people working in the U.S. illegally were damaging his livelihood. (Alburgh is just south of the border with Canada.) After the exchange, Johnson got back in his tractor and, as Rocheleau reported, “While passing by my vehicle Mr. Johnson ... engaged the PTO shaft to his trailer and covered my vehicle in cow manure.” Mr. Johnson pleaded not guilty in Vermont Superior Court in North Hero, saying he didn’t know the car was nearby when he turned on his manure spreader.

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The Ford Motor Co. has hired smell-testers for its research labs in China, where consumers don’t like the “new-car” smell that many Americans seek out. Ford calls the testers its “golden noses,” who sniff materials such as upholstery, steering wheels and carpet. Testers are subjected to a stringent selection process

09.06/09.13.2017

and must not smoke or drink alcohol. “In North America,” said Andy Pan, supervisor for material engineering at a Ford facility in China, “people want a new-car smell and will even buy a ‘new-car’ spray to make older cars feel new and fresh. In China, it’s the opposite.”

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On June 25, Doug Bergeson of Peshtigo, Wis., was framing the fireplace of a home he was building when his nail gun slipped from his grasp and shot a 3½-inch nail into his heart.

Bergeson said it stung, but when he saw the nail “moving with my heart,” he realized he wasn’t going to get any more work done. So he washed up and drove himself to the hospital 12 miles away, where he alerted a security guard that he had a nail in his heart and said, “It’d be great if you can find somebody to help me out here.” Bergeson underwent surgery to remove the nail, which his doctors said barely missed a main artery in his heart.

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Edward Kendrick McCarty, 38, of North Huntingdon, Pa., came away with more

than good tips after DJing a wedding reception. The morning after the wedding, bride Ashley Karasek, of Turkeytown, noticed that her box of wedding cards was mostly empty.

McCarty had been in charge of the box during the reception, and Karasek noticed people handing him cards to put in it throughout the evening. But when she and her new husband looked in the box, only 12 cards remained. McCarty confessed to taking the cards “because of financial struggles” and said he got about $600.

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Swiss grocery chain Coop announced on Aug. 17 that it will start selling burger patties made from mealworms as an alternative to beef. Essento’s Insect Burgers and meatball-like Insect Balls also contain rice, carrots and spices. “Insects are the perfect complement to a modern diet,” said Christian Bartsch, co-founder of Essento. “They have a high culinary potential, their production saves resources and their nutritional profile is high-quality.”

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LISTEN AS YOU READ: SCAN THE CODE FOR OUR NEW SPOTIFY PLAYLIST, A SOUNDTRACK TO THE STORIES IN THIS SECTION, OR VISIT WWW.PGHCITYPAPER.COM/BLOGS/FFW/

NEW LOCAL RELEASES Ugly Blondes DRAG WWW.UGLYBLONDES1.BANDCAMP.COM

Rock ’n’ roll riffs fuse with grungy effects and an alternative spark on Drag by Ugly Blondes. Drag’s eight songs move intently ahead with driving guitar work and highenergy choruses, the kind of music that wouldn’t sound out of place on 105.9 The X. The vocals trade off between gruff belting and an apathetic drone, which helps keep the sound of the record urgent and dynamic.

“Old News” is a bratty opening number, its snarling distortion announcing the band’s presence in a bitter manner.

The bridge’s openness gives way to a big chorus filled with the driving quarter-note crashes on a beefy cymbal. It is an aggressive stake in the ground, setting the tone for a continuously dark album.

“Pity Love” charges full steam ahead, its sonic vastness and biting guitars meant to fill a big room full of sweaty, thrashing bodies, while “Amorfo” pushes an almost-theatrical macabre sound, featuring verses that resonate with gloom and uneasiness.

The harmonic riffs on “Whipped Cream” show off the clever guitar skills of Ugly Blondes in a subtle way — a kind of understatement that most rock ’n’ roll forgets in favor of overly flashy guitar solos. You get the sense the band has chops, but the members don’t feel compelled to make their individual talents the centerpiece of the song. Instead, they let the sum of the parts be the focus.

Even though the eight songs play with distinct elements from a myriad of hard- and alternative-rock subgenres, the musical theme is consistent, persistently dreary and seamlessly sinister.

This is the kind of album that recalls dark, grimy bars full of intrigue and mystery, a prime soundtrack to dark fall nights spent in existential dread.

BY MEG FAIR

FOR FANS OF: Queens of the Stone Age,

riffs, black coffee

Have an album or EP you’d like to see reviewed in our pages?

We review releases from Pittsburgh bands and artists living within an hour’s radius of the city, and all genres are welcome.

Send a digital file of the album or EP to megfair@pghcitypaper.com, or a physical copy to Pittsburgh City Paper, 650 Smithfield St., Suite 2200, Pittsburgh, PA 15222.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

Ratboys Julia Steiner and Dave Sagan

CAPTURING the SUBLIME {BY MEG FAIR}

R

ATBOYS’ GN is the kind of album that

feels enormous, with rich instrumentals and lyrics that create entire worlds in a few minutes. The songs sound huge, but they feel intimate, capturing moments of awe, sublime wonder and self-reflection in big rock landscapes set off with country and folk peaks.

It’s been a good minute since an album came out that I listen to almost every single day, but the cavernous arrangements and gentle vocals are easy to get lost in, each listen unearthing a brand-new detail. The songs overflow with feeling, the kind that makes you get a bit misty-eyed, and not even because of the lyrics, but because the songs are just that beautiful.

Julia Steiner and Dave Sagan are the musical partners who write and arrange all Ratboys’ songs before being joined by bassist Sean Neumann, drummer Evan Loritsch and trumpet player Cody Owens.

Owens was unable to get out of work for

09.06/09.13.2017

this tour, so Ratboys are currently touring as a four-piece.

“It feels awesome to have GN out. It’s a lot of hard work that’s come to fruition.

It feels good to share in the context of a show,” explains Steiner by phone while hanging around a rest stop en route to Washington, D.C.

RATBOYS, DIET CIG, RUE 8 p.m. Wed., Sept. 13. Mr. Smalls, 400 Lincoln Ave., Millvale. $12-14. All ages.

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These songs have existed for several years as solo songs penned by Steiner, but they found new life when workshopped with Sagan. Steiner’s gift for writing music that fosters intimacy blends with Sagan’s punk background.

“I grew up with music in the house.

My mom played guitar and always had it laying around. She was an opera singer,” explains Steiner. “Part of me feels lucky because you don’t get to choose the music you listen to as a small child, but my mom is a musical person and always had music on in the car that still holds up today.”

Growing up on a steady diet of artists like Dolly Parton and Shania Twain, Steiner picked up a guitar and wrote songs on her own. Much like her father wasn’t super into music, neither were most of her friends in high school.

“In high school I played by myself, writing songs alone quietly, and there’s a lot of intimacy in that,” says Steiner. “But Dave had a totally opposite experience, being in punk bands since he was 13, filling up the room with sound, filling that space.”

“It’s exciting because when I first met Dave, I had chemistry with him musically, but I didn’t think about what it’d mean for me at the time. It’s helped us create something

special. [Sagan] has taught me a lot about not being afraid to be loud,” Steiner says.

“Girls are taught to be soft and not take up space and to be quiet. It’s exciting to bend the expectations placed upon female singer/songwriters by trying new things and taking up space, not being afraid to be dominant.”

In addition to being musical collaborators, Sagan and Steiner are romantic partners. They have been friends ever since they met while attending school in Chicago.

Several songs on the record tell the stories of historical figures, and those stories were discovered by Steiner through a game that Sagan and she used to play together.

“We used to do these silly things called Wiki Races. You start on a random article and have to get to a specific article by clicking through links in the articles, like going from General Patton to PB&J, for example,” explains Steiner.

“I got really into Wikipedia in high school because it was kind of a rebellious thing. None of our teachers allowed us to use it,” laughs Steiner, “But there’s a bounty of information there. So much information and lots of stories to tell.”

Thanks to Wikipedia, “Crying About the Planets” came to life. It tells the story of Sir Douglas Mawson, an explorer whose Australasian Antarctic Expedition went incredibly wrong, leaving him nearly stranded in treacherous conditions, the only man to make it out alive. “Peter the Wild Boy” was inspired by the story of a feral child in Germany named Peter who was adopted by King George I. “Telling the stories is a process. You broaden your own perspective by empathizing with people who have gone through the most extreme things,” says Steiner.

“I like writing about my own experiences a lot, but I think the balance of personal and impersonal is something I’m attracted to a lot. What unites our general experience? It’s fun and keeps me interested. I get a little bored if I’m only digging into my psyche.”

If you watch the music video for “Elvis Is in the Freezer,” you’ll notice that Steiner is sporting a Pittsburgh Steelers winter hat. Steiner is originally from Kentucky and went to school in Chicago, but her grandfather grew up in Pittsburgh before moving to Kentucky.

“He was the youngest of 10, and all of his siblings stayed in Pittsburgh,” says Steiner, “When I’m home in Kentucky during football season, we’re always watching Steelers games together. And when we come to Pittsburgh on tour he always reminds us where to get our cheese and where to eat.

“We love Pittsburgh. All the food and the crazy hills. It’s really like driving in a snowglobe.”

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ties are famous for being famous, Sixto Rodriguez is a notable exception: He became famous for being unknown. The musician known simply as Rodriguez released a pair of albums — Cold Fact and Coming From Reality — in the very early 1970s on the small Sussex label.

Both releases sank without a trace in the American music marketplace; original copies are sought-after collectors’ items.

But — as the Oscar-winning 2012 documentary Searching for Sugar Man chronicles — Rodriguez’s albums were a hit in the then-isolated country of South Africa.

Rodriguez had long since quit music and returned to demolition work in his native Detroit, but in the wake of his belated rediscovery, he returned to live performance and touring. He’s grateful for the increased profile afforded by the success of Searching for Sugar Man. “We’ve gotten a lot of mileage, and it was global,” he tells CP in a recent phone interview. “And that put us across.” But he emphasizes that he had nothing to do with the making of the film. “I’m only in the film eight minutes,” he points out.

In fact, Rodriguez was initially reluctant to be involved at all with the documentary.

“The director came to Detroit five times before I said, ‘OK,’” he says. He relented on that fifth visit from director Malik Bendjelloul.

“It was winter,” Rodriguez recalls. “They were in the alley taking pictures. And I decided then as I looked at them, ‘Why not?’ because I had nothing going anyway.”

Rodriguez’s songs were topical in 1970,

and they retain their timeliness now, 45plus years later. The lyrics to songs like “Sugar Man,” from Cold Fact, are applicable to today’s opioid crisis. But these days, Rodriguez is also concerned with more mundane matters, like renovating his house and obtaining unpaid royalties from the overseas success of his Sussex albums. “I’m anxious for it to resolve,” he says. “We’re still working with a major law firm.”

Renovation continues on the Detroit home he bought at a government auction in 1976 for $50. As a working-class man, Rodriguez sees the value of owning a home. “Housing is really very important.

If you can secure that, I think you have an easier path,” he says.

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But a demanding touring schedule means that the singer-guitarist is often too busy to work on his house. He maintains a dozen bands, one for each region of the world where he plays. “I have an Australian band, a South African one, an English band ...,” he says. His current group includes London-based lead guitarist Ed Coonagh, Jesse Ingalls on bass, and drummer Blake Manning, from Toronto.

Decades after the domestic commercial failure of his albums, Rodriguez is thrilled to be playing in front of enthusiastic crowds. He mentions a recent concert in Vancouver. “That was the noisiest audience we’ve had, ever,” he says. “I don’t know if [something] was in the water or what, but they were very enthusiastic, to say the least.”

I N F O@ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

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22

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

THE LONGEST-running Indian-music program in the country has a home right here in Pittsburgh. Music From India has aired weekly on 90.5 WESA for 45 years. Each Sunday from 8-10 p.m., you can hear a mix of tunes from the golden age of Indian music (1950s through the 1970s), classical Indian and modern Indian music. The program also delves into the many subgenres of the Indianmusic world.

The co-hosts of Music From India are volunteers who lend their music collections each week to make the show happen.

Harish Saluja, the host from the show’s very beginning, is a filmmaker, artist and the founder of the Silk Screen Film Festival.

Vijay Bahl, Saluja’s co-host for 40 years, is a clinical professor in the University of Pittsburgh’s Department of Medicine, and an expert endocrinologist.

When Bahl comes in to record his part of the show, he brings a small bag of CDs. Saluja has converted his music collection and the songs he wishes to play into digi-

tal files on a USB. Both listen to music in the car and keep notes about what they’d like to play on the next show.

Bahl is usually in charge of bringing in the new music.

“Luckily for me, he has to deal with the crap music,” Saluja jokes.

“Sometimes it turns out to be pretty good! You just have to sample a lot,” says Bahl, laughing.

In 45 years of Music From India, not a single show has been missed. This perfect attendance is a stunning feat, but perhaps more impressive is how many of those shows were lovingly recorded by listeners and kept for future listening.

Asked how much longer they plan to do the show, Saluja turns to Bahl and asks, “How long are you going to live?”

“The future of America is in opening doors as opposed to building walls and excluding other cultures, and one of the ways to get to know another culture is to listen to the music,” explains Saluja. “We are both committed to promoting our culture through this program. Here are the dances, music, movies that are available. Maybe it’ll enhance your life. We look at it as a public service.”

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M E G FA I R@ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

CRITICS’ PICKS

’ LET S

{PHOTO COURTESY OF ANDREA YOUNG}

GET S CIAL

Karen and the Sorrows

[COUNTRY] + THU., SEPT. 07

{PHOTO COURTESY OF GEORGIA MITROPOULOS}

I’m always on the prowl for country music that doesn’t conform to the traditional restrictions of the genre. Karen and the Sorrows are part of a Brooklyn queer country scene that has the same melancholy, heartbreak and slide guitar as its conventional counterparts, but from a queer perspective. Fresh off the release of the 2017 album The Narrow Place, the band will be joined at Howlers by the slow and pretty harmonies of Arlo Aldo, and the self-described “stoked folk” of Pennsylvania Dirt. Hannah Lynn 7 p.m. 4509 Liberty Ave., Bloomfield. $5. 21 and older.

412-682-0320 or www.howlers pittsburgh.com

[FESTIVAL] + SAT., SEPT. 09 Local alt-rock radio station 105.9 The X hosts its annual Xfest at Stage AE tonight, headlined by movie-trailer pop group Bastille, accompanied

by FRENSHIP, Highly Suspect and K.Flay. All those bands seem like a fun time, but I’m here specifically to recommend the rambunctious rock of J. Roddy Walston & the Business, which is like a train car that’s in danger of careening off the rails but somehow stays steady. teady. With vocals that frequently crack, visceral eral lyrics and maniacal piano-playing, the band d sounds sometimes like a deranged Randy dy Newman, other times like Dr. Dog og with sharpened teeth. Plus, the live shows feature some serious hair-whipping. HL 3 p.m. 400 North Shore Drive, North Side. $44. All ages. 412-229-5483 or www.promowestlive.com

astrological term signifying cooperation and harmony, which the band certainly has, but not in the calm way you’d imagine. Its sound is dark and energetic, drawing from punk, ambient music and the occult. It’s like the music that would play in an underground club attended only by witches. Supporting the show at Brillobox are the local darkwave duo Bring Her, noise-punk group Death Instinct and DJ Erica Scary. HL 9:30 p.m. 4104 Penn Ave., Bloomfield. $10.

21 and older. 412621-4900 or www. brilloboxpgh.com

[ROCK] + MON., SEPT. 11 Over the past few years, Philly-based Sheer Mag has Sextile drawn praise for its vibrant, soulful rock.

So much praise, in fact, that the group began to feel overhyped and didn’t sign with a record label or even start a Twitter account.

It’s an endearing but unnecessary self-effacing gambit, since the band’s music is indeed hypeworthy. The latest album, Need to Feel Your Love, is upbeat rock that still has a bite. Also playing at Cattivo are dreamy, distorted San Franciscans Flesh World and Painted Eyes.

HL 7 p p.m. 146 44th St.,, Lawrenceville. $ $12-14.

All ages. 412-687-2157 or www.cattivopgh.com

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J. Roddy Walston & the Business

[PUNK ROCK] + SAT., SEPT. 09 Los Angeles punk rockers Sextile are named after an {PHOTO COURTESY OF ERIC RYAN ANDERSON}

NEWS

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The Calliope Concerts 2017/18 September 14 (Thursday)

ROCK/POP

SUZZY ROCHE & LUCY WAINWRIGHT ROCHE

THU 07

Special Concert at the Calliope Roots Cellar at Pittsburgh Center for the Arts

September 23

BEUSOLEIL AVEC MICHAEL DOUCET “The best Cajun band in the world”— Garrison Keillor

October 14

THE WEIGHT BAND Featuring members of The Band, the Levon Helm Band, and the Rick Danko Group performing songs of The Band

November 18

SUSAN WERNER TRIO with very special guest James Maddock “Susan Werner, a clever songwriter and an engaging performer, brings literacy and wit back to popular song.”— The New Yorker

STAGE AE. A Day To Remember w/ Moose Blood. 6:30 p.m.

North Side. 412-229-5483.

CLUB CAFE. The Black Lillies.

7 p.m. South Side. 412-431-4950.

DIESEL. Dada. 7 p.m. South Side.

412-431-8800.

FRI 08

WED 13 MR. SMALLS THEATER. Bayside.

6:30 p.m. Millvale. 412-821-4447.

DJS THU 07

BLACK FORGE COFFEE HOUSE. Defy The Tide, Divine Tragedy, BELVEDERE’S. NeoNoir Kafka Rex & Toro Blanco. 7 p.m.

Dark 80s w/ Erica Scary. 10 p.m.

Knoxville. 740-424-0302.

Lawrenceville. 412-687-2555.

CATTIVO. MaxXouT, Stone MR. SMALLS THEATER. Centrifuge Cold Killer, Thunder Vest & Thursdays. At the Funhouse.

13 Saints. 8 p.m. Lawrenceville.

9 p.m. Millvale. 412-821-4447.

412-651-6262.

PERLE CHAMPAGNE JAMES STREET BAR. Bobby D Bachata.

GASTROPUB & 10 p.m. Downtown.

SPEAKEASY. The 412-471-2058.

Buckle Downs, Dan www. per Bubien & The Delta a p pghcitym Struts. 8 p.m. North Side. .co ANDYS WINE BAR. 412-904-3335.

DJ Malls Spins Vinyl. 5 p.m.

THE LAMP THEATRE. Saliva.

Downtown. 412-773-8884.

8 p.m. Irwin. 724-367-4000.

THE FLATS ON CARSON. REX THEATER. Naughty Professor.

Pete Butta. 10 p.m.. South Side.

9 p.m. South Side. 412-381-6811.

412-586-7644.

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. PLAY: an electronic BAJA BAR AND GRILL. chill out session. speakeasy.

MERCEDEZ Band. 8 p.m.

10 p.m. North Side. 412-904-3335.

Fox Chapel. 412-963-0640.

ONE 10 LOUNGE. DJ Goodnight, DIESEL. Upchurch the Redneck, DJ Rojo. 9 p.m. Downtown.

Demun Jones & Dirt Road 412-874-4582.

Republic. 7 p.m. South Side.

ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance.

412-431-8800.

FULL LIST ONLINE

SAT 09

LÙNASA with Ashley Davis Internationally acknowledged as being the finest traditional Irish instrumental outfit of recent times

January 20

MOLLY TUTTLE BAND A virtuoso multi-instrumentalist and award-winning songwriter with a distinctive voice

February 10

HARPETH RISING with Ryanhood A chamberfolk trio playing original music, as intricately arranged as a string quartet, lyrically rooted in the singer-songwriter tradition

DOWNEY’S HOUSE. Daniels & McClain. 8:30 p.m. Robinson.

412-489-5631.

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. theCAUSE performing as Reuben’s Painted Mandolin. 9 p.m. North Side.

412-904-3335.

THE R BAR. Hybrid Vigor.

9:30 p.m. Dormont. 412-942-0882.

SAXON INN. Hellin Back. 9 p.m.

Natrona Heights. 724-224-4686.

SUN 10

April 14

PHIL WIGGINS HOUSE PARTY An all-star blues and dance performance by Phil Wiggins and Friends

May 2 (Wednesday)

BRUCE COCKBURN The award-winning singer songwriter and 2017 Canadian Songwriters Hall of Fame Inductee

Carnegie Lecture Hall/Oakland Saturdays (except September 14 and May 2) at 7:30 pm calliopehouse.org or 412-361-1915

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

09.06/09.13.2017

HOWLERS. Tashi Dorji & Tyler Damon w/ Cloning & Diaphony.

9 p.m. Bloomfield. 412-682-0320.

THE R BAR. Billy the Kid’s Steel Town All-Stars. 7 p.m. Dormont.

412-942-0882.

FRI 08

10 p.m. South Side. 412-431-2825.

RUGGER’S PUB. 80s Night w/ DJ Connor. 9 p.m. South Side.

412-381-1330.

SAT 09 DIESEL. DJ CK. 10 p.m.

South Side. 412-431-8800.

PERLE CHAMPAGNE BAR. DJ Tenova. ladies night. 9 p.m.

Downtown. 412-471-2058.

REMEDY. Feeling Without Touching. 10 p.m. Lawrenceville.

412-781-6771.

ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance.

10 p.m. South Side. 412-431-2825.

TUE 12 THE GOLDMARK. Pete Butta.

Reggae & dancehall. 10 p.m.

Lawrenceville. 412-688-8820.

SEVICHE. Hot Salsa & Bachata Nights. 10 p.m. Downtown.

843-670-8465.

WED 13 SMILING MOOSE. Rock Star Karaoke w/ T-MONEY. 9:30 p.m.

South Side. 412-431-4668.

HIP HOP/R&B SUN 10 CARNEGIE LIBRARY, OAKLAND. Dr. HollyHood. 2 p.m.

Oakland. 412-622-3151.p

MP 3 MONDAY SHORT FICTION {PHOTO COURTESY OF SAM TREBER}

December 9

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TO SUBMIT A LISTING: HTTP://PGHCITYPAPER.COM/HAPPENINGS {ALL LISTINGS MUST BE SUBMITTED BY 9 A.M. FRIDAY PRIOR TO PUBLICATION}

TUE 12 BLACK FORGE COFFEE HOUSE. Quayde LaHüe & Maenads.

7 p.m. Knoxville. 412-291-8994.

CLUB CAFE. Big Sandy & His Fly-Rite Boys. 7 p.m. South Side.

412-431-4950.

HOWLERS. Little Beards, Morpheus Laughing & Middle Children. 9 p.m. Bloomfield.

412-682-0320.

MR. SMALLS THEATER. Sleeping With Sirens. 6 p.m. Millvale.

412-821-4447.

Each week, we post a song from a local artist online for free. This week, it’s a new song from Short Fiction’s upcoming album The Heart Is a Kaleidoscope. “Ellen (A Song About a Book)” delivers some classic guitar-driven ’90s indie (Built To Spill comes to mind), with earnest, clever lyrics and smart production. It’s a gem. Stream or download “Ellen” for free on FFW>>, the music blog at pghcitypaper.com.

HEAVY ROTATION

HAMBONE’S. Ian Kane, Ronnie Weiss & Tom Boyce. 6:30 p.m.

Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318.

SAVOY RESTAURANT. Roger Humphries’ RH Factor. 6 p.m.

Strip District. 412-281-0660.

Here are four songs that music writer Meg Fair can’t stop listening to: Truman and His Trophy

TUE 12 JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Tom Wendt Jam. Ballroom. 8:30 p.m. North Side.

412-904-3335.

RILEY’S POUR HOUSE. Jazz Happy Hour w/ Martin Rosenberg.

5:30 p.m. Carnegie. 412-279-0770.

“Tomato Feet”

Malportado Kids

“Bruja Cosmica”

BALTIMORE HOUSE. Strange Brew. 9:30 p.m. Pleasant Hills.

412-653-3800.

MOONDOG’S. Black Cat Moan.

8:30 p.m. Blawnox. 412-828-2040.

WOOLEY BULLY’S. Jill West and Blues Attack. 9:30 p.m.

New Brighton. 724-843-4702.

SUN 10 NOLA ON THE SQUARE. Strange Brew. 1 p.m. Downtown.

412-471-9100.

JAZZ THU 07 CITY OF ASYLUM @ ALPHABET CITY. Jazz Poetry Month: Tom Rainey Trio. 7 p.m. North Side.

412-435-1110.

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Roger Humphries Jam Session. Ballroom. 8 p.m.

North Side. 412-904-3335.

RILEY’S POUR HOUSE. Jazz Happy Hour w/ Martin Rosenberg.

5:30 p.m. Carnegie. 412-279-0770.

VALLOZZI’S PITTSBURGH. Eric Johnson. 5:30 p.m. Downtown.

412-394-3400.

FRI 08 ANDORA RESTAURANT - FOX CHAPEL. Pianist Harry Cardillo &

NEWS

LINDEN GROVE. Karaoke. 8 p.m.

Castle Shannon. 412-882-8687.

THE BULLPEN. The Eclectic Acoustics. 5 p.m. Warren.

724-356-3000.

ELWOOD’S PUB. West Deer Bluegrass Review. 7:30 p.m.

Rural Ridge. 724-265-1181.

FRI 08 LINDEN GROVE. Nightlife. 9 p.m.

Castle Shannon. 412-882-8687.

VINOSKI WINERY. Casey Deely Trio.

6 p.m. Greensburg. 724-872-3333.

FRI 08

vocalist Charlie Sanders. 6:30 p.m.

Fox Chapel. 412-967-1900.

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Mark Strickland.

6:30 p.m. North Side. 412-904-3335.

SAT 09 1810 TAVERN. RML Jazz. 8 p.m.

Bridgewater. 412-370-9621.

BACKSTAGE BAR AT THEATRE SQUARE. Jeremy Fisher Jr & Matt Ferrante. 5 p.m. Downtown.

412-325-6769.

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. The Tony Campbell Jam Session. Speakeasy. 5 p.m. DK Anderson’s Quantum Truth. 8 p.m.

North Side. 412-904-3335.

JOHNNY’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE. Roger Barbour Band.

8 p.m. Wilmerding. 412-824-6642.

THE MONROEVILLE RACQUET CLUB. Jazz Bean Live. 7 p.m.

Monroeville. 412-728-4155.

THE SPACE UPSTAIRS. Second Saturdays. Jazz-happening series feat. live music, multimedia experimentations, more. Hosted

by The Pillow Project. 8 p.m.

Point Breeze. 412-225-9269.

SUN 10 FATHER RYAN ARTS CENTER. Andrea Dawson. 6 p.m.

McKees Rocks. 412-331-1685.

MELLON PARK. RML Jazz.

11:45 a.m. Shadyside. 412-370-9621.

ROCKS LANDING BAR & GRILLE. Tony Campbell, John Hall, Howie Alexander & Dennis Garner. 7 p.m.

McKees Rocks. 412- 875- 5809.

STONE VILLA WINE CELLARS. Erin Burkett & Virgil Walters feat. Eric Susoeff, Max Leake & Mike Tomaro. 12:30 p.m. Acme.

724-423-5604.

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THU 07

THU 07

“Paycheck”

SAT 09

OTHER MUSIC

ACOUSTIC

Slingshot Dakota

BAJA BAR AND GRILL. The Tony Janflone Jr. Band. 8 p.m.

Fox Chapel. 412-963-0640.

MOONDOG’S. River City Blues Band.

8:30 p.m. Blawnox. 412-828-2040.

SONGS OF YOUTH AND WONDER. Bell’Art Ensemble presents “Des Knaben Wunderhorn” by Gustav Mahler and “La Edad del Asombro” by Carlos Guastavino.

Bell’Art join forces with baritone Daniel Teadt and the art of Joe Seamans. 7:30 p.m. Kresge Theater, CMU, Oakland. 412-371-4028.

RIVERS CLUB. Jessica Lee & Friends. 5:30 p.m. Downtown.

412-391-5227.

“Electric Blue”

FRI 08

SAT 09

WED 13

Arcade Fire

BLUES

WONDER. Bell’Art Ensemble presents “Des Knaben Wunderhorn” by Gustav Mahler and “La Edad del Asombro” by Carlos Guastavino. Bell’Art join forces with baritone Daniel Teadt and the art of Joe Seamans.

7:30 p.m. Kresge Theater, CMU, Oakland. 412-371-4028.

MON 11

MUSIC

+

SAT 09

BEER HEAD BAR. Right TurnClyde.

9 p.m. North Side. 412-322-2337.

BOTTLEBRUSH GALLERY & SHOP. Tommy Womack. 7 p.m.

Harmony. 724.452.0539.

DOUBLETREE BY HILTON HOTEL PITTSBURGH - CRANBERRY. The Eclectic Acoustics. 6 p.m. Cranberry.

724-766-6900.

PLATE & BOWL. Magnetic Variations w/ Liss Victory, Amy Mmhmm & DRU. 7 p.m. Highland Park. 814-403-2989.

SATALIO’S. Mob Tactics, Native Impulse, Semko, Emplate, Faelan, Wired Mic, Miss Haze. 9 p.m.

Mt. Washington. 412-431-9855.

VINOSKI WINERY. Hamilton Avenue. 1 p.m. Greensburg.

724-872-3333.

SAT 09 INDUSTRY PUBLIC HOUSE. The Eclectic Acoustics. 8 p.m.

Robinson. 412-490-9080.

RIVERS CASINO. Right TurnClyde.

9 p.m. North Side. 412-231-7777.

VINOSKI WINERY. Gary Prisby.

6 p.m. Greensburg. 724-872-3333.

The 5th Judicial District of Pennsylvania and Allegheny County

SUN 10 GUNTOWN BEER. Right TurnClyde.

5 p.m. Canonsburg. 724-746-5522.

HAMBONE’S. Ukulele Jam. 7 p.m.

Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318.

VINOSKI WINERY. Jennifer Drummey. 1 p.m. Joe Materkowski.

6 p.m. Greensburg. 724-872-3333.

Pretrial Services urges you to enjoy your weekend out in Pittsburgh but

WED 13

make the right choice,

ALLEGHENY ELKS LODGE #339.

Pittsburgh Banjo Club. 8 p.m.

North Side. 412-321-1834.

PARK HOUSE. Shelf Life String Band.

9 p.m. North Side. 412-224-2273.

WHEELFISH. Jason Born. 7 p.m.

Ross. 412-487-8909.

don’t drink and drive.

REGGAE THU 07 PIRATA. The Flow Band. 9 p.m.

Downtown. 412-323-3000.

CLASSICAL FRI 08 SONGS OF YOUTH AND

ARTS

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What to do IN PITTSBURGH

September 6-12 WEDNESDAY 6 Kitchen Dwellers

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY North Side.

412-904-3335. With special guest Haywhackers String Band. Over 21 event. Tickets: greyareaprod.com. 8p.m.

Kentuck Knob Farm-to-Table Dinner EIGHTY ACRES BAR & KITCHEN Plum.

724-519-7304. For more info visit eightyacreskitchen.com/ events. 5p.m.

THURSDAY 7 Scott Brothers: House Party

BYHAM THEATER Downtown.

412-456-6666. Tickets: trust arts.org. 7:30p.m.

Max Weinberg’s Jukebox JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE Warrendale. 724-799-8333.

Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 8p.m.

FRIDAY 85

CARNEGIE SCIENCE CENTER North Side. For more info visit carnegiesciencecenter.org.

7p.m.

21+ Night: Gaming CARNEGIE SCIENCE CENTER North Side. Over 21 event.

For tickets and more info visit carnegiesciencecenter.org.

6p.m.

TUESDAY 12 Four Year Strong

Party in the Tropics

REX THEATER South Side.

412-381-1681. With special guests Seaway, Like Pacific, Grayscale & Life Lessons. All ages event. Tickets: ticketfly. com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 6:30p.m.

PHIPPS CONSERVATORY Oakland. Over 21 event. For tickets and more info visit phipps.conservatory.org. 7p.m.

A Fair in the Park MELLON PARK Squirrel Hill.

Free event. For more info visit craftsmensguild.org.

Through Sept. 10.

A Day to Remember

Pittsburgh Irish Festival

PITTSBURGH RENAISSANCE FESTIVAL WEST NEWTON THROUGH SEPTEMBER 24

RIVERPLEX Homestead.

For more info visit pghirish fest.org. Through Sept. 10.

Pittsburgh Sketch Crawl

SATURDAY 9 XFest w/ Bastille

STAGE AE North Side. With special guests Highly Suspect, K.Flay, J. Roddy Walston and the Business & FRENSHIP. Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 1-800-745-3000.

Doors open at 3p.m.

AGNES KATZ PLAZA Downtown. 412-456-6666.

Free event. For more info visit trustarts.org. 10a.m.

and more info visit pittsburgh renfest.com or 724-872-1670.

Through Sept. 24.

SUNDAY 10

Drew Holcomb & Pittsburgh Renaissance the Neighbors WEST VIRGINIA UNIVERSTIY Festival WEST NEWTON. For tickets

CREATIVE ARTS STAGE.

With special guests Peter Mulvey, Andrew Combs, Christian Lopez & Lost Bayou Ramblers.

Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 1-800-745-3000. 7p.m.

MONDAY 11

CafĂŠ Scientifique: Alex Moskowitz

STAGE AE North Side. With special guests Moose Blood & Wage War. Tickets: ticket master.com or 1-800-745-3000. Doors open at 6:30p.m.

Roger Humphries Jam Session AGNES KATZ PLAZA Downtown. 412-456-6666.

Free event. 5p.m.

Sleeping with Sirens MR. SMALLS THEATRE Millvale. 412-421-4447.

All ages event. Tickets: ticket web.com/opusone. 7p.m.

Each library is more than a building that houses books.

In many ways, it’s the heartbeat of your community. All ]b[v |o ‹o†u Ń´o1-Ń´ Ń´Ń´;]_;m‹ o†m|‹ Ń´b0u-u‹ l-7; |_uo†]_ ";r|;l0;u Ć’Ć? ‰bŃ´Ń´ 0; $ Ä´

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LOVE YOUR LIBRARY 26

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

09.06/09.13.2017

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“WHEN HE FIRST STARTED, HE CAME OFF AS PREACHY.”

[JAZZ AND POETRY]

FREE SOUNDS Last year, after 11 years of running its Jazz Poetry concert as a huge one-night event, City of Asylum Pittsburgh launched Jazz Poetry Month, with multiple weekends of free smaller-scale events. Attendance almost doubled, according to the group.

A first-week highlight of this year’s festival is a speaker well suited to City of Asylum’s mission of sheltering writers persecuted in their home countries. Zineb El Rhazoui is a Moroccan-born French human-rights activist who was a columnist for Charlie Hebdo at the time of the 2015 massacre that took 12 lives at the French satirical magazine, targeted for its irreverent depictions of the prophet Mohammed.

When the shooting occurred, El Rhazoui was in Morocco, where she has been arrested three times for criticizing the government. Today, she is said to be France’s most protected woman, under 24-hour guard due to fatwas and death threats. On Sept. 9, she’s the guest at a public conversation on freedom of speech at Alphabet City.

Week one also includes a Sept. 7 concert by the acclaimed Tom Rainey Trio.

The following weekend is when the jazz/poetry collaborations City of Asylum is known for begin in earnest. On Sept. 15, guitarists Jerome Harris and Brandon Ross do solo sets, then join Somali-born poet Ladan Osman and Pittsburgh-based Very Smart Brothas blogger Damon Young for words-and-music collabos. On Sept. 16, Harris and Ross join saxophonist Oliver Lake, drummer Pheeroan akLaff and bassist Billy Grant for the first-ever reunion of Jump Up, their 1980s jazz-reggae fusion band. They’ll be accompanied on stage

by National Book Award-winning poet Mark Doty; poet Kimiko Hahn; and Pittsburgh-based Afro-Mexicana poet Ariana Brown. On Sept. 17, Pittsburghbased bassist Dwayne Dolphin joins akLaff and Lake for a trio set and collaborations with poets Jericho Brown, Román Antopolsky and Dawn Lundy Martin.

More concerts follow through Oct. 1, including a Sept. 30 appearance by Pulitzerwinning poet Tracy K. Smith, recently named Poet Laureate of the United States.

Lake, co-founder of the groundbreaking World Saxophone Quartet, also co-founded Jazz Poetry and curated the music for the Sept. 15-17 weekend. Reached by phone in New York, he says he’s excited about the semi-improvised work with poets. He’s also preparing for the Jump Up reunion, for which he’ll share lead-vocal duties: “I’m trying to get my vocal chops together.”

DRISCOLL@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

CITY OF ASYLUM JAZZ POETRY MONTH Sept. 7-Oct. 1. Alphabet City, 40 W. North St., North Side. Free; reservations at www.alphabetcity.org NEWS

Zineb El Rhazoui

{BY BILL O’DRISCOLL}

{CP PHOTO BY KRISTA JOHNSON}

John Dick Winters

[COMEDY]

WINTERS FORECAST {BY MATT PETRAS}

I

N A FAVORITE BIT, comedian John Dick

June, he opened for comedian and The Sarah Silverman Program actor Brian Posehn at the Rex Theater. Winters often does standup multiple times a week, on top of regular hosting duties for Comedy Roulette, and is co-founder, with four other local comics,

Winters wonders: What would it be like if he, someone who finds cat-calling gross and sexist, engaged in some himself?

He figures he’d say, “Hey, cool butt,” followed by an appropriate display of shame. The bit has gained life off the stage, with Winters putting the quote on T-shirts and stickers.

Winters is a big part of the burgeoning local comedy scene. Outside his standup work, Winters also hosts and produces comedy shows including the monthly series Comedy Roulette: Comedy With a Catch.

While his involvement in the scene is multifaceted, Winters maintains his focus.

“I want to be a comedian who produces comedy shows,” says Winters. “I want to be known for my comedy.”

And he wants to be known nationally.

Winters has already had his name listed alongside a nationally recognized act. In

THE LOADED SHOW 10:30 p.m. Sat., Sept. 9. Hosted by Sean Collier and featuring John Dick Winters, Norlex Belma, Ed Bailey, Collin Chamberlin, Blair Parker, Jesse Irvin and Derek Minto. $10 (21 and over). 866-468-3401 or www.clubcafelive.com

of the mordantly named Race to the Coffin Comedy Collective. He recently completed a tour of small venues in six Midwestern states. On Sept. 25, he opens here for nationally touring comic Sean Patton, at Club Café.

Winters, 34, is rotund, bearded and staggeringly tall. The Troy Hill resident is a father to two twin girls, and to pay the bills he drives for Uber and does odd jobs on Craigslist. The comedian, who previously spent time as a cook and musician, is originally from Altoona. He moved to Pittsburgh in 2002, and performed comedy for the first time on Jan. 24, 2012 — he handily provides the exact date.

This past June, Comedy Roulette took place at Club Café, drawing a respectable 50-plus people before the late-night show began. It was right in the middle of the Stanley Cup finals. “I want to thank the Penguins for playing tomorrow and not tonight,” Winters told his audience. “That was nice of them.”

Each month’s Comedy Roulette brings a new twist on the format. In June, it was a roast battle. Six comedians trashed each CONTINUES ON PG. 28

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MUSIC

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ARTS

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27

Self-Paced Online Training Course Certificate of Training in as little as 60 days!

Receive your Cer

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Revel in 90 minutes of hilarious improvised comedy and song all based on audience suggestions.

Cast members Ryan Stiles, Greg Proops, Jeff B. Davis, and Joel Murray from the Emmynominated TV show Whose Line Is It Anyway? will leave you gasping with the very witty scenes they invent before your eyes.

MONDAY SEPT. 18 . 7:30PM $38, $44, $50

THE PALACE THEATRE

724-836-8000

WWW.THEPALACETHEATRE.ORG

PalacePA

FREE PARKING FOR EVENING & WEEKEND SHOWS!

Presents

TALK BACK SERIES

JASIRI X

Pittsburgh-based hip-hop artist and activist discusses race relations in America, from Scottsboro to Charlottesville

SEPT. 19, 2017 • 7:30 P.M. PITTSBURGH PLAYHOUSE Tickets $25 – Use code JASIRI to order: 412-392-8000 or PittsburghPlayhouse.com Co-Presenters

WINTERS FORECAST, CONTINUED FROM PG. 27

other for their looks, past relationships and political views, to name a few subjects.

And then they trashed each other for their roasting abilities.

It wasn’t a wholesome show, but Winters has his limits. Rape jokes are one example.

“Telling crude jokes about all sorts of topics isn’t funny,” he says. “It’s just crude.”

Winters has a politically progressive viewpoint, something he was actually mocked for at that roast. Participants included Jesse Irvin, a friend and frequent collaborator. The two traded jabs. Onstage, Irvin told Winters that he “is more of a phony feminist than Ivanka Trump” and has “fucked more women than Mike Pence.”

“I like jabbing John because when he first started, he came off as preachy,” Irvin later said. Irvin says that Winters has come a long way. “I think when he started out he had so much to say that it wasn’t resonating with people,” he says.

Irvin describes Winters as determined and dedicated. “He doesn’t give up on something when he wants it,” he says.

Together, Irvin and Winters founded the Burning Bridges Comedy Festival, an annual, multi-venue event that completed its second season this past May. The 2017 festival, which featured both local talent and nationally touring acts including Aparna Nancherla and Reformed Whores, drew about 600 attendees over its three-day run, according to Winters.

Another comedian in the June roast battle was Suzanne Lawrence. When Lawrence started out doing comedy in Pittsburgh, Winters was one of the first comics to notice and talk with her, she says. She felt like the new kid at school. Starting out “is sort of like walking into the school cafeteria and everyone knows each other already,” she says.

Winters frequently books visiting comics here. Mary Santora is a nationally touring comedian based mainly in Cleveland, Ohio, whom Winters has booked multiple times. “He’s always been super-generous with stage-time,” she says.

Later in June, Winters was among several comics who performed a weeknight show at Brillobox, in Bloomfield. He made fun of himself. One bit was mostly physical: He raised his arms above his head until his T-shirt slid above his gut. Then he lowered his arms to show how shirt doesn’t go back down, it just rests on top of the fat.

He also talked about how Amazon recently recommended to him a DIY book about suicide. A book like that could challenge libraries to change policies, he posited.

“What’s that?” he imagines a librarian telling someone. “No, you can’t go read it in the bathroom.”

INF O @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

09.06/09.13.2017

[PLAY REVIEW]

TIME LAG {BY MICHELLE PILECKI}

Art DeConciliis and Jeff Johnston in Little Lake’s A Masterpiece of Comic … Timing {PHOTO COURTESY OF JAMES ORR}

HAS YOUR CAREER STALLED? INTERESTED IN THE MEDICAL FIELD?

Not much hubris in this title, eh? The official printed script includes a screamer (!) at the end, but Little Lake Theatre Co. is happy to confine the exclamation points to one character in its current offering, A Masterpiece of Comic … Timing.

But what does an ellipsis signify?

Strictly speaking, that something is missing.

Oh, what temptation such punctuation presents to an unkind observer. Actually, though, the trouble here is as ironic as the play’s title. The problem with Robert Caisley’s 2015 comedy is that there’s too much, particularly in an overlong first act that can be difficult to recover from.

The Little Lake cast and director James Critchfield strive mightily. That first act is carried on the capable shoulders of Art DeConciliis as Jerry Cobb, a Broadway producer striving for the big time (i.e. Hollywood) with a new hit from a hot playwright. The foil for this exposition, stooge Charlie Bascher, doesn’t really develop a character (or sense of humor) until the second act. It doesn’t help that actor Jeff Johnston sports a bowtie and sweater vest in what is supposed to be Arizona in July with no air-conditioning.

Cobb drips sweat and vituperation.

Bascher is breezily, inexplicably immune.

Completing drama’s rule of three — or at least providing the third character — Danny “Nebraska” Jones, no longer a wunderkind writer, gloms and glooms onto the scene. Greg Caridi hunches into the dispirited role, catching fire (as does the play) in the next act. Providing the spark, sexually as well as comedically, is Jones’ ex-fiancée Nola Hart, shamelessly and effectively overplayed by Sara Barbisch.

Now the chuckles blossom, ripen and fill the stage. Much of the humor is derived from the more academic aspects of deconstructing theater. The first act mopes, the second tropes, and laughter conquers all.

The “luxury hotel” setting — complete with console TV and modish (if anachronistic) design touches — provides a pleasant background. Thanks, technical director Jared Pfennigwerth.

Give Little Lake credit for trying a new play, one that does have plenty of gags and topical humor, notable since it’s set in 1963.

The problem is too much plot, the enemy of comedy — a view roundly endorsed by Cobb: “You take 100 jokes and put it in two acts, there’s your plot.” Physician, heal ….

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

A MASTERPIECE OF COMIC … TIMING continues through Sept. 16. Little Lake Theatre, 500 Lakeside Drive, Canonsburg. $13.75-21.75. 724-745-6300 or www.littlelake.org

— PRESENTS —

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 16 7PM

VOCALIST, RENÉ MARIE

Andrew Ooi’s “Edo Check”

[ART REVIEW]

PAPER TRAILS {BY LISSA BRENNAN} CANADIAN ARTIST Andrew Ooi offers his

first local solo outing with the strikingly intricate IOI OOI: NEW PRIMITIVES, at BoxHeart Gallery. In a dozen small to medium-sized works, Ooi unites sculpture and painting using techniques traditionally found in Japanese joinery and origami, employing handmade gampi papers as his canvas in an elaborate and exacting process.

IOI OOI: NEW PRIMITIVES continues through Sept. 22.

BoxHeart Gallery, 4523 Liberty Ave., Bloomfield. 412-687-8858 or www.boxheartgallery.com

His raw material is precisely cut into minute strips, the number for each work ranging from the hundreds into the thousands. Each diminutive strip is separately painted, then all are joined in a complex assemblage of folds, turns and creases to create one three-dimensional piece, tactile and inviting. Delicate, feathery brush strokes begun on one hexagon continue across its neighbor, on and on. Chains of paper mimicking wool, silk, metal and mesh are woven together to fuse in power and might.

The shapes merge to create grids, quilts and ladders whose strength is palpable.

Half of the pieces are anchored directly onto the walls of BoxHeart’s upstairs gallery, the remainder under glass in simple box frames. Unshielded, they feel domestic, warm and intimate, a complement to and almost extension of the everyday functional items whose patterns they reflect — that which is woven, latticed, loomed for strength and durability — possessing beauty but as a side effect. The addition of an enclosure alters the tenor of these pieces significantly. Placed inside of a case meant for display and/or protection, they are then formalized, becoming presentational and exact, infusing them with distinction but also with distance.

We assess them as more Valuable but not necessarily more Valued.

Each piece is symmetrical, if not always wholly in color and design, fully so in shape, balanced from one side to the other to fold perfectly into itself. There is one exception: “Adaptation,” a bulbous, vital, organic globule evocative of brain coral and fungus. It breaks the established patterns to creep unchecked outside the boundaries of line and angle. More of this, please, this moving, oozing mass that takes the rigid control necessary for its creation and uses it to fabricate something that feels uncontrollable, a welcome and vivacious balance to the prevailing regimentation. As Ooi works within the confines of geometry, fascinating and impressive as they may be, it’s freeing to see him exit that path, even if for a moment.

THE NEW HAZLETT THEATER

6 Allegheny Square E, Pittsburgh, PA 15212 TICKETS AVAILABLE ONLINE AT SHOWCLIX.COM Or Call: 888.718.4253

Also Available at: DORSEY’S RECORDS - Homewood | DAVE’S MUSIC MINE - South Side For more information: www.kentearts.org Funding for this project is provided by: The Heinz Endowments, Advancing the Black Arts in Pittsburgh Fund.

I N F O @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

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[COMEDY]

YEAH, WE CAN’T BELIEVE IT, EITHER

Lynn Cullen Live every weekday at 10 a.m. beginning Sept. 13.

Tune in at

www.pghcitypaper.com

{BY SAM LEONARD}

Tom Green

Pittsburgh City Paper and Lynn Cullen are joining forces with TribLive Radio to bring you

TROLL BOOTH Tom Green was a boy when he began practicing the irregular and original brand of comedy that made him popular on college radio, public-access television and MTV, and later in Hollywood. Prior to his Sept. 8-10 standup-comedy appearances at Pittsburgh Improv, Green spoke with City Paper by phone about his “deep philosophy about how pranks and guerrilla comedy have to work — somebody has to get flustered.”

Growing up in Ontario, Green entertained himself and his friends by disrupting phone-in radio shows in his hometown. “I would pose as the parents of my friends, and I would start talking about ‘my kid,’ and use their name, and say embarrassing things. I would tape-record it and bring it to school and play it to everybody.”

When you build a successful career partly on being a disruptive prankster, you must stay one step ahead of the generation that one day aims to prank you back. Often, on MTV’s Tom Green Live, the public phone line on Green’s desk would flood with people facetiously encouraging his guests to “do a barrel roll.” “I created an environment that was ripe for prank calls … so I created a character where I would get extremely upset at these prank callers,” says Green, 46. He adds that most people incorrectly thought his anger was genuine, but really, “I was reverse-trolling them.”

He admits that his reactions to pranksters are based in real emotion and then exaggerated. “Every action needs a reaction in comedy,” he says. In one famous exchange, Green became infuriated when Jesse James Dupree, lead singer for the rock band Jackyl, cut up his desk using a custom guitar outfitted with a hemi-powered chainsaw. “I wasn’t happy about him cutting up my desk, or about people calling in and saying ‘barrel roll.’ But I also didn’t shut down the phone line. You know?”

Local comics Senneca Stone and Matt Light will open for Green during his five shows at the Improv. All three comics know how to handle disruptions. So you have been warned — if you heckle Green, both he and the audience will rightfully hate you, and Green will use the skill he has been sharpening since he was a boy: He will out-troll you. He might even reverse-troll you.

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

TOM GREEN Fri., Sept. 8-Sun., Sept. 10. Pittsburgh Improv, 166 E. Bridge St., The Waterfront, West Homestead. $25. 412-462-5233 or www.pittsburgh. improv.com

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

09.06/09.13.2017

FOR THE WEEK OF

09.07-09.14.17 Full events listed online at www.pghcitypaper.com For years, Rick Maue might have been Pittsburgh’s most famous magician you never heard of. His act included sleightof-hand but was focused on mentalism (mind-reading and the like); he performed nationally and toured constantly, though mostly for corporate clients. It all ended one day in 1996, when the Pittsburgh native and his family were involved in an horrendous car crash. Maue was left with life-changing injuries to his brain and internal organs, and though he’s regained his mental faculties, he still suffers from seizures, severe headaches and blurred vision.

While Maue, 58, can’t work regularly, he retains the respect of his industry peers, as evidence by the Lifetime Achievement Award he received at the 2016 MINDvention mentalism convention, in Las Vegas. At MINDvention, Maue also performed A Fine Li(n)e, the one-man show he’s been doing for the past yearand-a-half for small, invitation-only audiences in his Wilkins Township home (the same house where, for years, he and his wife staged the Haunted Chamber, a year-round theatrical walk-through séance). Maue’s health, however, continues to decline. On Sept. 8 and 9, at Downtown’s intimate Pittsburgh Playwrights Theatre, he stages A Fine Li(n)e in what he says might be his final public performance.

Maue, speaking by phone, says his mentalism shows, in the séance-debunking tradition of Houdini, have always been about “lying on stage to tell the truth about the world.” Inspired partly by famed monologist Spalding Gray, the 90-minute A Fine Li(n)e also gets autobiographical.

The theme, Maue says, is “what I used to do and why I no longer do it.” The show interpolates a 30-minute recreation of his old mentalist act.

The former touring pro now views his stage shows as therapeutic. As he puts it, “Bad shit happens to everybody. …

You can’t let it define your life.”

{ART BY ASHLEY GARNER}

^ Thu., Sept. 7: Speak for Yourself

thursday 09.07 ART The Associated Artists of Pittsburgh, founded in 1910, is the oldest continuously exhibiting visual-arts organization in the U.S. But of course it still accepts new members. And starting tonight, at FrameHouse & Jask Gallery, you can see work by more than 30 of them in Speak for Yourself. Artists including Christopher Boring, Oreen Cohen, John Eastman and Ashley Garner offer work from painting and drawing to sculpture and photography. The exhibit is curated by local independent curator Sean Beauford. Bill O’Driscoll Reception: 6-9 p.m. (free). Exhibit continues through Oct. 10. 100 43rd St., Lawrenceville. www.aapgh.org

friday 09.08 CONVENTION Local guy Tim Azinger started tattoo convention Meeting of the Marked in 1993 — not only before widespread use of the internet and email, but really before everybody and her aunt had tattoos.

This weekend’s the 25th anniversary, and Azinger’s still running the show he calls “a tattoo family reunion” that just happens to command three days at the Monroeville

BY BILL O’DRISCOLL

8 p.m. Fri., Sept. 8, and 8 p.m. Sat., Sept. 9. 937 Liberty Ave., Downtown. $30 (VIP: $50); for a 50 percent discount, use the password “HALFOFF.” www.deceptionsunlimited.com NEWS

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Convention Center. Check out some 150 tattooists and other vendors, plus contests, performances by the Coffin Box Circus Sideshow and more, all starting today. BO Noon-10 p.m. Also noon-10 p.m. Sat., Sept. 9, and noon7 p.m. Sun., Sept. 10. 209 Mall Plaza Blvd., Monroeville. $15 (free for kids 14 and under). Three-day VIP: $25. www.meetingofthemarked.com

FESTIVAL More than 100 fine artists and fine crafters from around the region and the country will vend their contemporary works in clay, fiber, wood, jewelry, glass, metal, mixed media and 2-D art at this weekend’s A Fair in the Park.

It’s the 48th year for this venerable free open-air event in Mellon Park, presented by the Craftsmen’s Guild of Pittsburgh. If you visit on Sunday, check out the open house at the adjacent Pittsburgh Center for the Arts, with classroom and studio tours and artmaking demos. BO 1-7 p.m. Also 10 a.m.-7 p.m. Sat., Sept. 9, and 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Sun., Sept. 10.

6300 Fifth Ave., Shadyside. Free. www.afairinthepark.org ^ Fri., Sept. 8: Meeting of the Marked CONTINUES ON PG. 32

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SHORT LIST, CONTINUED FROM PG. 31

EVERYONE IS A CRITIC

^ Fri., Sept. 8: A Fair in the Park

FESTIVAL EVENT: “Dead

or Alive” trilogy screening, Melwood Screening Room, Oakland

CRITIC: Nicole Hall, 27, a development coordinator from Reserve Township WHEN: Thu.,

Aug. 31

I’m familiar with the director, so I knew what I was getting into, but I would describe it as an action movie tinged with unexpected moments of hilarity.

Even though it’s really gory and violent, and sometimes repulsive maybe for the sake of being repulsive, it all works together to make something that’s like an action movie, but also really fantastic and offthe-wall. My fiancé and I just really liked Takashi Miike films and saw there was a three-film screening, and we’re actually getting married Saturday, and we’re off tomorrow, so we were like, “Let’s just go marathon all three movies.” I think the best thing is the pace — there’s not a single second of down time. I was surprised that the director killed all the characters off by the end. It could be fun to stay for all three movies — I’ve never seen them before.

BY AMANDA REED

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

The Pittsburgh Irish Festival returns for its 27th season, taking over Sandcastle’s Riverplex for three days of culture and fun.

If you’ve never eaten boxty pancakes or colcannon, here’s your excuse. And along with plenty of, um, beveragesampling opportunities, s, there are four stages packed with performances, from storytellers orytellers and Irish step dancing to live music. Local Irish-flavored red bands include Corned Beef & Curry, The Wild Geese, Bastard Bearded Irishmen, and Donnie Irish. Headliners rs from overseas include Gaelic Storm, The Screaming aming Orphans, JigJam, and Makem & Spain. BO 4-11 -11 p.m. Also 11 a.m.-11 p.m.

Sat., Sept. 9, and 9 a.m.-5 .-5 p.m. Sun., Sept. 10.

1000 Sandcastle Drive, West Homestead. $10-15 (free for kids 12 2 and under); weekend pass: $30. www.pghirishfest.org shfest.org

ART Some take home for granted, ranted, but for millions worldwide, and d too many here in Pittsburgh, housing using is insecure.

Contemporary Craft explores xplores the issue with Shelter: Crafting a Safe Home, featuring 40 artworks by 14 contemporary craft artists. Contributors ors probing the impact of displacementt and housing inequity include Pittsburgh-based urgh-based collage and sculpture artist Seth Clark, Pittsburgh-based filmmaker maker Chris Ivey, Australian glass artist Holly Grace, and Georgia-based jeweler Demitra Thomloudis.

The exhibit’s run includes des programming in partnership with local al groups that address housing issues; a free opening reception is tonight. BO O Reception: 5:30-8 p.m. Exhibit continues tinues through Feb. 17. 2100 Smallman n St., Strip District.

412-261-7003 or www.contemporarycraft.org contemporarycraft.org

SCREEN The series of short online ne documentaries titled Sustainability Pioneers oneers reflects filmmaker Kirsi Jansa’s belief that people respond best to the challenge allenge of global {ART BY CLARA GRACE HOAG / PHOTO COURTESY OF THE ARTIST}

> Fri., Sept. 8: Shelter: Crafting a Safe Home

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warming when they have role models. In the series’ 10th and final episode, Jansa examines Frick Environmental Center, perhaps Pittsburgh’s greenest new building. The screening and discussion with Jansa are part of the Falk School of Sustainability & Environment at Chatham University’ss Sustainable Sipping se series. A ticket includes University happy-hour buffet. BO two drinks, live music and a happy 6:30-9 p.m. 2005 Beechwood Blvd., Squirrel Hill (in Frick Park). $20. www.pittsburghparks.org

STAGE The REP P revisits history with its sea season opener, The Scottsboro Boys. The 2010 musical ironically e employs the format of a minstrel show to recount the trial of nine African-American white women in Alabama in teenagers accused of raping two w 1931. The music is by Kander a and Ebb (Chicago, Cabaret), with a book by David Thomp Thompson. The production, staged at the Pittsburgh Playhou Playhouse, is directed by Tomé Cousin. Amanda Reed 8 p p.m. Continues through Sept. 24. 222 Craft Ave., Av Oakland. $10-29.

412-392-8000 or ww www.pittsburghplayhouse.com

sunday 09.10 FESTIVAL Travel back in tim Travel T time with the Children’s Museum Pittsburgh’s inaugural Medieval M Mus eum of Pitts Games Park day. With help from G Gam es in the Par the Barony Marc Marche of Debatable Lands (the Western Pennsylvania chapter of The Pen Creative Anachronism), kids can Society for Creativ with bubbles, hoops, paper party like it’s 1599 w crowns and masks in Buhl Community Park museum). They can also play (right outside the mu games, like “the game of the medieval children’s ga chutes-and-ladders) and the goose” (an ancient chut bocce-like walnut game. AR Noon-3 p.m. 10 Children’s Way, North Side. Free with museum admission under 2). 412-322-5058 or ($14-16; free for kids u www.pittsburghkids.org www.pittsburghkids

monday 09.11 TALK “Dark matter” isn isn’t just a SyFy series. If hypotheses are correct, it’s also the scientific hypothe stuff that, even though no one’s ever seen it, th

PROUDLY TATTOOING PITTSBURGH SINCE 1994!

tattoo & piercing studio Open Daily, 1pm-8pm walk-ins welcome, appointments recommended!

{PHOTO COURTESY OF JOHN ALTDORFER}

^ Fri., Sept. 8: The Scottsboro Boys

(412) 683-4320 5240 Butler St.

makes up, like, most of the matter in the universe. But what the hell is dark matter? Get some answers tonight as Carnegie Mellon University astrophysicist Alex Moskowitz speaks at the next Café Scientifique. Moskowitz researches things like dwarf galaxies, and has received honors including the NASA Rhode Island Space Grant. The talk is free, with food and beverages for sale. BO 7 p.m.

1 Allegheny Ave., North Side. Free. 412-237-3400 or www.carnegiesciencecenter.org

Pgh, PA • 15201 inkadinkadoo.net

wednesday 09.13 COMEDY One thing about David Liebe Hart songs — they’re full of good advice.

About email, space aliens, sandwich spreads, that sort of thing. “You gotta have Vegemite in all you think and do,” goes one number on this leftfield musician and performer’s new album, Space Ranger, featuring guest spots by Kool Keith, Tennessee Luke and more. Backed by musician Jonah Mocium and projected video, and accompanied by his trusty puppets, the Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! favorite is on a U.S. tour that stops tonight at Club Café. Local bands The Gothees and Creature People open. BO 8 p.m. 56 S. 12th St., South Side. $12-14 (21 and over).

412-431-4950 or www.clubcafelive.com

thursday 09.14

{PHOTO COURTESY OF JESSICA POHL}

^ Wed., Sept. 13: David Liebe Hart

TALK With numerous solo exhibitions in the U.S. and overseas, pioneering AfricanAmerican sculptor Melvin Edwards is one of the more honored names in the current exhibition 20/20: The Studio Museum in Harlem and Carnegie Museum of Art. Edwards is known for his “Lynch Fragments,” welded-steel works using scrap metal and found items from blades and clamps to locks and chains. The New York-based artist, who’s 80, visits the Carnegie Lecture Hall tonight for a free program titled An Evening with Artist Melvin Edwards. BO 6:30-8 p.m.

4400 Forbes Ave., Oakland. Free. 412-622-3131 or www.cmoa.org

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THE FISH OF THE DAY WAS ANOTHER BRAVURA ACCOMPLISHMENT

THE RIVALRY ISSUE

FOOD FIGHT {BY CHARLIE DEITCH AND ERIC SANDY} In the battle of signature sandwiches, it’s Pittsburgh’s own Primanti’s sandwich vs. Cleveland’s Polish Boy.

{CP PHOTO BY JOHN COLOMBO}

Primanti’s sandwich I’m actually sort of embarrassed for you, Cleveland. You brag about your “signature sandwich?” You open up a package of Hillshire Farms, slip it into a hot-dog bun and slap some Bullseye BBQ sauce on top.

“Sad!,” as our president would tweet.

The Primanti’s sandwich is a work of art starting with the two best slices of Italian bread your pollution-muted tastebuds can imagine. Then you put those fresh-cut fries, vinegar-based coleslaw and fresh tomatoes on top of proteins ranging from corned beef and pastrami to steak and sardines.

Also, you know we’re right because you have a shitty rip-off joint called Panini’s.

Bottom line: If the Primanti’s sandwich had a mouth and fully functioning digestive tract, it would eat the Polish Boy alive and crap it out in the middle of Public Square, which really doesn’t matter because it looks the same coming out as it does going in.

{CP PHOTO BY VANESSA SONG}

Greek dorade with carrots, shallots and roasted garlic-beet cream

A SPECIAL PLACE

Polish Boy The Polish Boy transcends the alreadysacrosanct word “sandwich,” becoming in Cleveland an “experience” for all ages.

It’s messy, and often requires at least a half-day off work simply to deal with the postconsumption buzz alone.

Shout out to Seti’s, where we eat Polish Boys at a truck on the side of the road and love it. For you uncultured Pennsylvania {CLEVELAND PHOTO hillfolk, a Polish

BY KEN BLAZE} Boy is a sausage topped with coleslaw, fries and barbecue sauce, all tucked neatly in a bun. It’s beautiful. And not to get off-topic, but we’ve already got the excellent Panini’s, so we don’t need no rip-off Primanti Bros. to come around here thinking they’re hot shit n’at. Pass the napkins, please.

CDEITCH@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

{BY ANGELIQUE BAMBERG + JASON ROTH}

P

ERHAPS IT’S the lingering air of

Gilded Age privilege on the former Henry Clay Frick estate, or perhaps it’s the (deserved) reputation for high tea, that most genteel and pampering of rituals, but dining at the Café at the Frick is always wreathed with a sense of occasion. Certainly it is a place for which Mother’s Day reservations must be secured months in advance.

But the Café is there year-round, its outdoor patio just as lovely on weekdays as holidays, its glass-walled dining room framing views of Clayton’s gardens in every season. And while high tea will always be a special treat, the Cafe’s daily lunch menu and, more recently, dinner offerings on Fridays, when the entire Frick Art & Historical Center campus is open late, strive to provide everyday meals that are

09.06/09.13.2017

just as worthy of anticipation.

Befitting the cottage setting with its lush, expansive views, the menu is brief, but achieves wide range through weekly changes in several categories. There are

CAFÉ AT THE FRICK 7227 Reynolds St., Point Breeze. 412-371-0600 HOURS: Tue.-Thu. 11 a.m.-3 p.m.; Fri. lunch 11 a.m.-3 p.m., dinner 5-8 p.m.; Sat.-Sun. 11 a.m.-4 p.m.

PRICES: $8-15; prix-fixe lunch $18-25 LIQUOR: Wine and cocktails

CP APPROVED always a soup and a quiche of the day, a couple of salads, three sandwiches and three entrees. Many vegetables and herbs are grown mere steps away in the site’s greenhouses. Preparations are decidedly

current and upscale, though not pretentious, such as a shrimp-salad sandwich, served open-face on focaccia, or vegetable pad Thai made with carrot noodles, shiitake mushrooms and smoked almonds.

Make no mistake, this was no old-school haute continental cuisine, in which a handful of ingredients, artfully arranged, stood in for a meal. Here, dishes were neither heavy nor superfluously light, and thoughtfully specified ingredients were combined in the perfect proportions to satisfy without yielding leftovers. An excellent example was a cup of beef barley soup, a hearty dish if ever there was one. The broth was a shimmering russet, flavorful but not too intense, with a silken mouthfeel. Fine strands of beef were tender and rich, pearls of barley small and firm. This was a refined version of a peasant dish — as opposed to a re-imagination or

[PERSONAL CHEF]

CHICKENLIVER PÂTÉ {BY CURTIS GAMBLE, CHEF/OWNER OF STATION}

Chicken-liver pâté served at Station {PHOTO COURTESY OF DAVE BRYCE PHOTOGRAPHY}

deconstruction — that deftly combined the pleasures of both fine and humble cookery.

Similarly, the steak sandwich made clear reference to a classic Philly cheesesteak, down to playfully describing its double-Gloucester onion-and-chive cheese as “whiz.” But the rich, intense effect of this cheese elevated this sandwich far above street-corner fare, along with the chaste portion of peppery arugula in place of sloppy sautéed peppers and onions. The meat was shaved ribeye, crowned king of steaks for its tenderness and richly marbled beefiness. The Allegro Hearth ciabattini roll was another superb upgrade, striking a good balance between hearty crust and tender crumb to envelop the juices of the sandwich.

When the kitchen does a take on a luncheon classic like the aforementioned shrimp salad, it doesn’t mince on the flavors. In this sandwich, caramelized Vidalia aioli made for the thick, rich, creamy dressing that was brightening with shaved fennel and arugula. Small, steamed shrimp were plump and juicy. The only off-note was in the focaccia base, which seemed rather too substantial, even downright heavy, for this rich yet delicate salad. In the end, we mostly ate the salad off the top.

By contrast, not one scrap was left on the plate that brought the pork cutlet.

Such an understated name for such a complex and delectable dish! A bit misleading, as well, given that “cutlet” generally denotes a thin slice of meat, often pounded flat. In contrast, the Café serves a substantial cut similar in size to a boneless pork chop, but not remotely as dry and bland.

In a long life of enjoying pork, this was one of the very best pieces Jason has ever had: impossibly tender, bursting with savory juices, and wonderfully complemented by a pan sauce studded with mixed mushrooms and finely cut asparagus stalks. The mushrooms added another form of tender umami, while the crunchy asparagus brought textural contrast; a few whole asparagus tips, cooked a little further, contributed bright, vegetal notes. As an indication of what the kitchen can produce for dinner entrees, this dish made us wish they were open every night.

The fish of the day was another bravura accomplishment. A perfectly succulent pan-roasted filet of red snapper, lusciously, lightly browned, reposed atop a tender bed of julienned zucchini, all in a sweet-savory red-pepper cream sauce. What made this dish so delicious was not only the skilled preparation of each element, but the ideal proportions of their combination.

The Café at the Frick is an exceptional dining experience at accessible prices. It would be a shame to save it for special occasions.

INFO@ PGHC ITY PAP ER.CO M

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Most chefs will tell you how strong a role nostalgia can play when it comes to our everyday experiences with food. Most will say their first food memories equate to something along the lines of “shucking peas at my grandmother’s feet” or “Sunday gravy with the entire family.”

Mine was something a touch less fortunate.

Standing in line at the church up the street from my apartment with my mother, waiting for the soup kitchen to open, is one of my first and most clear memories.

Making do with a little, and stretching it to enough, had become a recurring theme for us.

It was even more evident when we would walk up to the Lee’s Famous Recipe Chicken on the corner and grab a tub of almost forgotten and discarded chicken livers from the bottom shelf. My mother would take them, then pour a liberal amount of seasoning salt on them, bread lightly and fry. My mother was probably ecstatic that I loved them, not only because of my enjoyment, but because a dollar was stretched into a meal through a little care and skill.

Lifting meager ingredients up, with a little thought and attention, has been the backbone of my professional career.

The chicken-liver pâté we make at Station is evidence that with skill and drive we can turn the most humble thing into the most fantastic. It’s a lesson I was fortunate to learn at a young age.

INGREDIENTS • 1 pound chicken livers, rinsed well and dried • 1 pound butter, small dice • 50 grams Spanish onion, small dice • 2 grams pink salt • 3 grams kosher salt • 125 grams heavy cream

DINE, RELAX, ENJOY 1910 New Texas Road • 724-519-7304

www.eightyacreskitchen.com

MON to SAT 11A - 9P | SUN 4P - 9P 5865 ELLSWORTH AVE, 15232 | 412.441.4141

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REYNA FOODS

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OKTOBERFEST IS COMING {BY DREW CRANISKY} OKTOBERFEST ALWAYS sneaks up on me. I never think of it until October actually rolls around, by which time Oktoberfest is all but over. Despite the name, the celebration mostly takes place in September. (Originally held in October, it was pushed earlier to take advantage of the warmer weather and longer days.) This year, let’s be ready: Here’s everything you need to know about the raucous German festival.

Today, Munich’s Oktoberfest is an absolutely massive event. Spread over nearly 100 acres, and drawing more than six million attendees every year, Oktoberfest is one of the largest festivals in the world. The original Oktoberfest, however, was a considerably smaller affair. The first fest was held in 1810 to celebrate Crown Prince Ludwig’s marriage to Princess Therese von Sachsen-Hildburghausen.

The party was such a success that it became an annual event, growing and evolving each year. Today, the festival features an array of food, rides, parades, contests and music. Oh, and beer.

Though the roller-coasters are fun, most festival-goers are there for the beer.

All of the beer served at Oktoberfest comes from six large, historic German breweries, including Spaten, Hacker-Pschorr and Augustiner. Known for light and crisp lagers most of the year, these breweries whip up something with more oomph for Oktoberfest. Oktoberfest beer is generally a bit darker and stronger than a Helles lager or pilsner, clocking in around 6 percent ABV.

You might also hear this style referred to as a “Festbier” or “Märzen.” Derived from the German word for March, Märzens were brewed in cooler spring months and allowed to slowly ferment in lagering caves throughout the summer, ready in time for the September celebration.

Of course, you needn’t buy a plane ticket to grab a taste of Oktoberfest. In addition to the German giants, plenty of American craft brewers have taken a crack at Oktoberfest-style beers. Some of them have succeeded admirably — I especially like the Oktoberfest beers from Great Lakes and Sierra Nevada. Whether it comes from Germany or America, a great Oktoberfest brew should be a toasty, malty beer with a bit of body and a touch of bitterness. It’s a style built for chasing off the autumn chill and partying late into the night.

For a taste of Munich right here in the Burgh, head to Penn Brewery.

Held the last two full weekends in September, the brewery’s long-running (and free!) festival will feature its acclaimed Oktoberfest beer, German food like brats and sauerkraut, and two stages of traditional German music. You can also head to the South Side’s Hofbräuhaus; check out Canonsburg’s popular Pennsylvania Bavarian Oktoberfest; or visit the Pittsburgh Renaissance Festival, in West Newton, on its final weekend, for an Oktoberfest theme. With Pittsburgh’s strong German roots and large German population, you’ve got plenty of choices for oom-pa-pa-ing in style this year.

GERMAN BREWERIES WHIP UP SOMETHING WITH MORE OOMPH FOR OKTOBERFEST.

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{CP PHOTO BY KATE HAGERTY}

Hidden Harbor in Squirrel Hill

THE RIVALRY ISSUE

DOWN THE HATCH Every city is only as good as its watering holes.

Let’s see how Pittsburgh and Cleveland stack up when it comes to local libations.

LOCAL BOOZE Pittsburgh With another distillery or brewery opening up seemingly every week, it’s safe to say that Pittsburgh is a great place to enjoy a beverage while supporting your community. Rich with history going back to the development of rye whiskey and the rebellion that followed, Pittsburgh is a breeding ground for innovation informed by heritage. Distilleries like Boyd & Blair, Wigle Whiskey and the award-winning Maggie’s Farm Rum offer something for everyone. And the city’s second-wave craft brewery, East End Brewing, celebrates its 10th anniversary this year. (Celine Roberts)

patrons. Hidden Harbor, in the city’s Squirrel Hill neighborhood, is the most recent bar to join the tiki-drink slingers, with tons of island decor and a choice of more than 250 rums. Sip 20 selected rums on Harbor’s “rum passport,” and you’ll be admitted to the Dead Parrots Society. And Tiki Lounge, in the South Side, has been whisking patrons away to tropical locales inside its bar since the early 2000s, with the help of tiki classics and an indoor waterfall or two. (Celine Roberts)

Cleveland Cleveland is home to the region’s best and most widely distributed craft beer: Great Lakes. The only brewery that comes close in the Midwest is Bell’s, maker of Oberon and Two-Hearted.

Is Bell’s in Pittsburgh? Of course not. It’s in Michigan, which is a god-forsaken state, but somehow still way better than Pittsburgh. Do they even make beer in Pittsburgh? It turns out the city has a swill factory that produces something called Iron City, which the ’Burghers are evidently very proud of, but it tastes like Keystone Light mixed with dishwater. Why is this even up for discussion? (Sam Allard)

TIKI BARS Pittsburgh Recently called an “eccentric tiki mecca” by online magazine Punch, Pittsburgh is bursting with friendly faces behind the bar who are eager to bring the aloha spirit to the city’s bar

{CLEVELAND PHOTO BY KEN BLAZE}

Porco Lounge and Tiki Room in Cleveland

Cleveland Porco Lounge and Tiki Room has so completely dazzled and dizzied Cleveland with its delicious and powerful Polynesian concoctions that the name has become an adjective unto itself: porcoed. It takes a lot to get Clevelanders to forget that they’re actually in Cleveland, but step into Porco and you’re instantly transported to a tropical oasis where everything is fun, tasty, and filled with three shots of alcohol. Don’t believe us? Of course, you don’t — you’re drunk on Rolling Rock. Then take the word of all the beverage connoisseurs at the 2016 South Beach Wine and Food Festival who gave Porco the People’s Choice Award. And did we fail to mention it holds the record for making the world’s largest daiquiri? (Vince Grzegorek) CELINE@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

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STEVE COOGAN AND ROB BRYDON CLEARLY DO A LOT OF IMPROVISING

THE RIVALRY ISSUE

AND ACTION {BY AL HOFF AND SAM ALLARD} Both Pittsburgh and Cleveland have seen major motion pictures shot on city streets, but which ones are better?

Pittsburgh’s Night of the Living Dead

Cleveland Both Cleveland and Pittsburgh have played prominent roles in major superhero movie franchises. Significant portions of both The Avengers and Captain America: Winter Soldier were shot in Cleveland. Pittsburgh was converted to Gotham for the The Dark Knight Rises. Cleveland, with its verdant landscape and rich architectural diversity, was converted to Stuttgart, Germany, Washington, D.C. and New York City for the films. Pittsburgh was just sort of a droopy dimestore Chicago that everyone preferred in The Dark Knight. Cleveland has bent over backwards for the film industry — you could argue almost too much so, what with the closure of the Shoreway for Winter Soldier — but our city is obviously much nicer and more photogenic: All the best scenes from Dark Knight Rises took place underground.

Pittsburgh There is more to a city’s film scene than simply subbing in for a fake comic-book town. Pittsburgh has movies actually set in Pittsburgh, a character in itself. Like Flashdance: She’s a welder by day, stripper by night, and a ballerina at heart; there is no greater Rust Belt queen.

For eggheads, we got Wonder Boys: With great universities come rumpled professors and wine parties. Other brains come serious — Concussion asks how do you tell a football town that the sport is killing its heroes? — or for dinner, in the genre-defining Night of the Living Dead.

Striking Distance is a cheesy cop actioner set on — ahem — three rivers. Oh, and Sudden Death, because Pittsburgh has a hockey team.

On a Spanish sojourn: Rob Brydon and Steve Coogan

ON THE ROAD AGAIN {BY AL HOFF}

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N MICHAEL Winterbottom’s The Trip to

Spain, two British entertainers take a week-long tour of Spain, ostensibly to review a number of quite nice restaurants for publication. For Steve Coogan, it’s a useful tie-in to his latest film about a chef. For Rob Brydon, it’ll be a break from his demanding young children. And for both, it will be a change to catch up — as you may recall, the pair had two similar previous outings: The Trip (2010), in which they hit eateries in the north of England, and The Trip to Italy (2014). (All three films are condensed from the British TV series.)

Coogan and Brydon are once again playing semi-fictionalized versions of themselves, and the film adds a splash of plot. Coogan is fretting about the state of his career (his agent has just dumped him), and contemplating a new relationship.

Brydon continues to chafe at having to orbit Coogan’s star. Yet despite the loose plot and the scripted assorted factoids about

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Spanish castles and Don Quixote, the two actors clearly do a lot of improvising. Much of their conversation is competitive banter — who can be wittier, drop more obscure facts. And, of course, who can do better celebrity impressions. The two careen

THE TRIP TO SPAIN DIRECTED BY: Michael Winterbottom STARRING: Rob Brydon and Steve Coogan

through John Hurt, Roger Moore and David Bowie, among others, and return to golden oldie Michael Caine, by way of Mick Jagger. And speaking of oldies, only one song gets a work-out in this iteration, the bizarro soft-pop tune “Windmills of Your Mind.”

If you’re thinking, “This sounds just like the other two films,” well, it is. Swap in Spanish scenery (very nice), subtract food talk (some fantastic-looking seafood

gets short shrift) and add more musing about being middle-aged, and it’s basically the same pleasant, if utterly predictable, outing. Yet, the gimmick has grown a bit stale, and there is something a bit off about watching a pair of privileged white guys carp about their privilege. Even if the film is winking at this affluenza for comic purposes, it’s still present.

And then there’s the ending. It’s only a few seconds, but the last shot of the film is a bum note. While designed to be funny, it relies on religious and racial stereotyping that is not only tone-deaf in 2017, but even less funny after celebrating a pair of wildly privileged and fairly self-absorbed British guys. And it’s doubly odd coming from a director whose films about marginalized communities and immigrants speak of more sensitivity. You may laugh — or you may just have to shrug it off and enjoy the perfectly ordinary end credits as a chaser.

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dissolution as a unit. A greasy-haired Doran is solid in the lead role as a man in over his head, and The Mutineer looks great: Pittsburgh-based Jaquish shot it mostly in West Virginia, on 35 mm film, in luminous black-and-white, with an alternately wry and lyrical eye that at times recalls Jim Jarmusch. Still, a story about armed white secessionists (they even fashion their own flag) reads more problematically today than it might have a couple years ago, taking some of the fun out of things. Jaquish will attend the Sept. 12 Film Kitchen for a post-screening Q&A. 8 p.m. Tue., Sept. 12 (7 p.m. reception). Melwood Screening Room, 477 Melwood Ave., Oakland. $5. www.pfpca.org (Bill O’Driscoll)

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NEW HOME AGAIN. Reese Witherspoon stars in this domestic comedy about a single mom who lets some young men move into her house. Hallie Meyers-Shyer directs. Starts Fri., Sept. 8 IT. Stephen King’s 1986 doorstop of a novel about a creepy clown and the kids who try to thwart him gets a big-screen adaptation. Andy Muschietti directs. Starts Fri., Sept. 8 REEL ABILITIES FILM FESTIVAL. The fifth annual festival showcasing films about the lives, stories and artistic expressions of people with different abilities begins Wed., Sept. 6. The program offers five recent films from around the world, plus a program of shorts, as well as special guests, discussions, opening- and closingnight receptions, and a pop-up art exhibit. The opening-night film is an Irish comedy, Sanctuary (7 p.m. Wed., Sept. 6), about teenage romance between a lad with Down syndrome and a girl with epilepsy. Nise: The Heart of Madness (7 p.m. Fri., Sept. 8) is a Brazilian bio-pic about pioneering art-therapist Nise da Silveira. In the German feature At Eye Level (4 p.m. Sat., Sept. 9), an orphaned 11-year-old boy reunites with his father, who is shorter than he is.

Broadway actress and Pittsburgh native Ann Talman provides care for her brother with cerebral palsy; this new film Woody’s Order! is a version of her one-act play about being a caregiver. (Talman is expected to attend.) The U.K. drama My Feral Heart depicts an independent young man with Down syndrome who befriends a troubled teen. The full schedule is at pittsburgh.reelabilities.org. SouthSide Works. $12 THE VAULT. Two estranged sisters rob a bank to help their brother. But when the bank manager sends them to the basement, they encounter something horrifying. Dan Bush (The Signal) directs this thriller. Starts Fri., Sept. 8. Harris

REPERTORY FLASH GORDON. In this campy 1980 reboot of the outer-space adventure comic and serial, a football player (Sam J. Jones) from Earth is whisked away to battle Ming the Merciless (Max von Sydow). Now a cult classic for its goodbad vibe, outrageous costumes and soundtrack

by Queen. 7:30 p.m. Wed., Sept. 6. AMC Loews Waterfront. $5 DESERT HEARTS. Donna Deitch’s drama, set in 1950s Nevada, depicts the awakening of a recently divorced professor who finds herself attracted to an openly lesbian ranch hand. The 1985 independent film was considered groundbreaking in its time for its thoughtful treatment of a same-sex relationship. Sept. 7-10. Melwood SUPERMAN. Now would be a good time for Superman to show up and execute his patented move — turning back time by flying around the Earth really fast. But alas, Richard Donner’s big-budget actioner dates from 1978, when the reporter-turned-caped crusader’s attentions were focused on thwarting Lex Luthor’s evil plans. Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman and Margot Kidder star. Sept. 8-9 and Sept. 11-14.

Row House Cinema BLADE. Wesley Snipes stars in David S. Goyer’s 1998 actioner about a dude who is half vampire, half human, and is taking on the truly bad vampires. Sept. 8-13. Row House Cinema

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CASABLANCA. In this 1942 classic directed

by Michael Curtiz, an American guy has a café in Casablanca, Rick’s, where everybody goes. It all takes place in one room; the love story is hokey, based on ridiculous coincidence and interrupted by complicated war details, cheesy patriotism and one-liners; and there are dozens of bit players.

Yet it’s as close to perfect as a Hollywood film ever was. 7:30 p.m. Tue., Sept. 12. Tull Family Theater, Sewickley (AH)

CP

Film Kitchen WONDER WOMAN. Gal Godot stars in Patty Jenkins’ recent actioner, which tells the origin story of Wonder Woman, from her idyllic youth on an isolated island to confronting the horrors of World War I. Sept. 8-14. Row House Cinema BATMAN RETURNS. In this 1992 Tim Burton film, the caped crusader (Michael Keaton) matches wits with the Penguin (Danny DeVito), an evil businessman (Christopher Walken) and Catwoman (Michelle Pfieffer). Sept. 8-14. Row House Cinema

FILM KITCHEN. The monthly series for local and independent artists presents a rare feature-length offering, John Jaquish’s The Mutineer (2016). This darkly comic fiction concerns a rural white guy leading a small band that, following a standoff with police, seizes a farm and attempts to found its own country. Though the mutiny’s only opposition is a relatively sympathetic sheriff and his two deputies — this is a decidedly small-bore secession — Lowell (Harris Doran) and his crew of misfit dudes never stand a chance: Most of the film is spent anatomizing their dysfunction and inevitable

AUDRIE & DAISY. Bonni Cohen and Jon Shenk’s new documentary looks at online bullying, in particular what can happen to teenage girls who are victims of sexual assault and who suffer subsequent harassment online. The film kicks off a second season of Just Films!, a series of new documentaries about gender and intersectional social-justice issues. 6:30 p.m. Wed., Sept. 13.

Eddy Theater, Chatham University, Shadyside. www.justfilmspgh.org. Free TWISTER. Get your high-velocity funnel-shaped thrills on with this 1996 actioner from Jan de Bont, about scientists who chase tornadoes. 7:30 p.m.

Wed., Sept. 13. AMC Loews Waterfront. $5

DRIVE-IN SUPER MONSTER-RAMA. Riverside Drive-In offers its annual two-night Super Monsterrama, packed with classic horror films, screened on 35 mm. Friday’s slate includes: the William Castle classic The Tingler (1959), starring Vincent Price; Munster, Go Home (1966); Horror of Party Beach (1964); and Atom Age Vampire (1960). On Saturday, check out these five drive-in favorites from the 1950s: Attack of the 50 Foot Woman (1958), Creature From the Black Lagoon (1954), It! The Terror From Beyond Space (1958), She Demons (1958) and Half-Human (1958). Gates open at 6 p.m.; films begin at dusk. Fri., Sept. 8, and Sat., Sept. 9. Riverside Drive-In, Route 66 N, Vandergrift. 724-568-1250 or www.riversidedrivein.com. $10 per night; overnight camping available for an addition $10 per person PINK FLOYD: THE WALL. The music of Pink Floyd’s eponymous best-selling album combines with live action and Gerald Scarfe’s animation in Alan Parker’s 1982 film chronicling a rock star’s breakdown.

Midnight, Sat., Sept. 9. Row House Cinema ALFIE. Michael Caine stars in Lewis Gilbert’s 1966 dramedy about a cocky young Londoner whose “ladies’ man” lifestyle catches up with him. Screens as part of the ongoing Britsburgh Festival. 11 a.m.

Sun., Sept. 10. Hollywood INSIDE YOU. Heather Fink’s new indie comedy taps that popular gimmick — the body swap. This time, it’s a longtime-dating couple who get the switcheroo after an encounter with a magical sex toy.

To be followed by a Q&A with Fink. 8 p.m. Mon., Sept. 11. Free Ride Pittsburgh Bicycle Collective, 214 N. Lexington St., North Point Breeze. Free. www.insideyoumovie.blogspot.com DOG BY DOG. Christopher E. Grimes’ 2015 documentary looks at the troublesome practice of “puppy mills,” and how some people are working to tighten regulations on this aspect of commercial dog-breeding.

The screening is a benefit for Humane Action Pittsburgh. 7 p.m. Tue., Sept. 12. Hollywood. $8

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THE STEELERS ARE REALLY GOOD, AND THE BROWNS ARE VERY, VERY BAD

HISTORY LESSONS This week in Pittsburgh Sports History {BY CHARLIE DEITCH} SEPT. 7, 1903 The Pittsburg Pirates (no “h” at that time) lose the first World Series of the modern era, falling 3-0 to the Boston Americans in game 8 of the best-of-nine series.

The Pirates came out hot, taking a 3-1 series lead. However, the Buccos were hampered by injuries to Honus Wagner, who went 6-27 in the series and notched an unheard-of six errors.

Pop Warner

SEPT. 7, 1954 Legendary football coach Glenn “Pop” Warner dies of throat cancer at the age of 83. Warner coached in several locations throughout his 44-year career and led the University of Pittsburgh to its greatest string of consecutive seasons, from 1915-1923.

Warner led the Panthers to three national titles and three consecutive undefeated seasons (he had four all together).

Warner’s name lives on today atop many youth football leagues across the country.

SEPT. 9, 2013 Gerrit Cole and the Pirates beat Yu Darvish and the Texas Rangers to break the Pirates’ run of 20 losing seasons.

{CP PHOTO BY JORDAN MILLER}

Sidney Crosby with his third Stanley Cup

SEPT. 10, 1989 This is probably the worst day in Steelers’ team history as Pittsburgh loses to Cleveland, 51-0 at Three Rivers Stadium.

The loss was embarrassing top to bottom: The Browns scored three defensive touchdowns, and Steelers tailback Tim Worley fumbled three times. According to the New York Times, Cleveland coach Bud Carson said of the victory, “I’m sure we’re not that good.” More prophetic words have never been spoken.

SEPT. 13, 1976 During his weekly press conference, Steelers coach Chuck Noll says of the preceding week’s game against the Oakland Raiders, “There is a certain criminal element in every aspect of society. Apparently, we have it in the NFL, too.” The comments came after the Steelers lost to the Raiders, and the Black and Silver’s defense took cheap shots, including a forearm to the back of the head of Steelers receiver Lynn Swann. Noll continued: “We play football.

We don’t want to get involved with criminal actions.” The ensuing public firestorm included Noll being sued for slander by George Atkinson, the Raiders player who hit Swann. The case went to trial the following July, and the jury ruled in favor of Noll and the Steelers.

THE RIVALRY ISSUE

SPORT STATUS {BY CHARLIE DEITCH AND VINCE GRZEGOREK}

T SEEMS nonsensical to even think about comparing Cleveland and Pittsburgh sports. The whole rivalry started because of the Browns and the Steelers.

But those days are behind us. The Steelers are really good, and the Browns are very, very bad. But we do have other sport topics worth arguing about.

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SIDNEY CROSBY VS. LEBRON JAMES The case for LeBron With all due respect ... Never mind. No respect given. Seriously, come the fuck on.

Even though Pittsburgh’s only relevant experience with professional basketball comes from the too-shitty-to-even-be-

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campy 1981 film The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh (the plot: a struggling basketball team takes the advice of an astrologer who claims that having only players who are Pisces is the recipe for success), we assume you still have the internet and television and are vaguely aware of LeBron James of the Cleveland Cavaliers. Maybe you even have a movie theater where you’ve seen him deliver showstopping cameos and supporting-actor roles alongside Hollywood’s biggest names. Or has your horoscope warned you not to leave the house the past decade? We just assume that’s how you make all your important decisions.

The case for Sid Few people would argue that these two guys are not the best in their respective

sports. Both have won multiple world championships and MVP titles. So let’s talk intangibles. Loyalty: In his first foray into free agency, Crosby signed a long-term deal to stay in Pittsburgh until 2025; James left for Miami during a vomit-inducing ESPN special called The Decision, and he’s probably leaving again after the upcoming season. Drama: Crosby brings none.

The Penguins fire a coach, hire a bad one, fire him and hire a good one. In all three situations, Sid the Kid played his heart out and did his job. LeBron wasn’t a fan of former coach David Blatt, despite Blatt getting the team to the finals the year before, and reportedly applied pressure to get him fired. And, finally, footwork. Crosby can skate. Skating is much harder than running. Although James is a better runner.

{CLEVELAND PHOTO BY EMANUEL WALLACE}

LeBron James of the Cleveland Cavaliers

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The Pittsburgh Passion

You’ll see that when he runs to join the Lakers next year.

ARENA FOOTBALL VS. WOMEN’S PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL Cleveland Ah, and we return to football, the genesis of the rivalry. And without hesitation or equivocation we can say that the Cleveland Gladiators, our lovable arena football squad owned by noted petulant huckster Dan Gilbert, that has never won the AFL championship, are far superior to the Pittsburgh Passion, your women’s pro team that has ... let us just check the history books one second ... yes, won a championship, been the first female team with a game broadcast on a major sports network, and once enjoyed a 23game winning streak over three seasons. I think our case really makes itself here.

Pittsburgh Thanks, Cleveland, we couldn’t have said it better ourselves. One of these is competitive tackle football played at a high level by passionate athletes outdoors in the elements. The other is played by a bunch of has-beens and never-weres in the same arena as the Foghat reunion tour the night before. The Pittsburgh Passion is a venerable franchise in women’s professional football. The Cleveland Gladiators are a nomadic AFL team that came from New Jersey by way of Las Vegas. Formed in 2002, the Passion, co-owned by trailblazer Theresa Conn and former Steeler Franco Harris, has won three world titles and two division titles. Team leader Lisa Horton — yes, I know she’s from fucking Berea — is more talented and more successful than any Browns quarterback of the past 15 years. As for why the Cleveland Gladiators suck? It’s football played in a fucking gym. We have that here, it’s called high school P.E. CD EI TC H @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

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[THE CHEAP SEATS]

POOR CLEVELAND {BY MIKE WYSOCKI} IN THE URBAN rivalry explored in this

week’s City Paper, it’s too easy to tout Pittsburgh’s superiority over Cleveland in football. That’s like comparing the awards and accolades of Mork (Robin Williams) to the awards and accolades of Mindy (Pam Dawber). So let’s look at baseball. The Pirates have not won a World Series since 1979, yet when they won their fifth World Series that year, it had still been 31 years since Cleveland’s politically incorrect baseball team won its most recent trophy.

And Cleveland is still waiting.

Yes, two years ago the Cavaliers won it all, to bring their grand total to one championship in 47 years of professional basketball — and their city’s total to one championship in the previous 52 years of professional sports. Pittsburgh had a basketball team, the Pipers (later the Condors), that also won one championship (an ABA title) in four seasons of hoops. In hockey, the Penguins are the reigning champs, with their fifth Stanley Cup. Cleveland had a hockey team, the Barons, and they were the last pro franchise in any of the four major sports to go completely defunct. They merged with the Minnesota North Stars after two highly

{CP PHOTO BY LUKE THOR TRAVIS}

The Pittsburgh Steelers faced off against the Cleveland Browns on Jan. 1, 2017. (The Steelers won that game 27-24.)

forgettable seasons in the NHL. But the dominance doesn’t end there.

In women’s football, the Pittsburgh Passion has won three championships. The Passion’s counterpart, the Cleveland Fusion — guess how many? That’s right, zero. Even in the short-lived 1970s phenomena of

THE BOARD OF PUBLIC EDUCATION OF THE SCHOOL DISTRICT OF PITTSBURGH Sealed bids will be received in the Office Of The Chief Operations Officer, Room 251, Administration Building, 341 South Bellefield Avenue until 11:00 A.M. prevailing time September 19, 2017 and will be opened at the same hour for the purchase of the following equipment and supplies:

XEROGRAPHIC PAPER General Information regarding bids may be obtained at the Office of the Purchasing Agent, Service Center, 1305 Muriel Street, Pittsburgh, PA 15203.

The bid documents are available on the School District’s Purchasing web site at: http://www.pghboe.net/pps/site/default.asp Click on Bid Opportunities under Quick Links.

The Board of Public Education reserves the right to reject any and all bids, or select a single item from any bid.

team tennis, The Pittsburgh Triangles won one championship while the Cleveland Nets won nothing. One city is routinely on Best Cities to Live In lists while the other isn’t even the best city to live in within its own state. Poor Cleveland.

Pittsburgh even has better boxing promoters. Along with owning a certain wellknown football team, Art Rooney dabbled in promoting fights. Rooney and McGinley promotions brought to the Smoky City such pugilist luminaries as Sugar Ray Robinson, Archie Moore and Jake La Motta, to the delight of fans of the sweet science. Rooney went on to become one of the most unquestionably beloved figures in Western Pennsylvania. A statue outside Heinz Field reminds the young people who founded this historic franchise. In Cleveland, the most famous boxing promoter is Don King. Nobody will ever build a statue to honor him.

King is a legendary sleaze merchant even by professional boxing standards. After The Don promoted Mike Tyson, Iron Mike sued King for cheating him out of $100 million (a suit settled out of court for $14 million).

King’s is a career plagued with jail time and lawsuits. Even the mob that runs boxing finds him unscrupulous.

One of the most intensely disliked sports owners hails from The Cleve. George Steinbrenner, who had an uncontrollable temper and a penchant for constantly firing employees (before it was cool), was from Cleveland. He was successful as owner of the Yankees, although the franchise had already won 20 world titles before he took over, in 1973. Compare that to Pittsburgh’s Mark Cuban. He took a nothing franchise,

the Dallas Mavericks, and turned it into champions in 2011. The list is endless. Even the stadiums in Pittsburgh are better than the ones by the lake.

And it goes beyond sports. Pittsburgh invented the Ferris wheel, the Big Mac and the polio vaccine. Ferris wheels are still a part of almost every fair and carnival.

Big Macs have stood the test of time, and the polio vaccine saved countless people worldwide from suffering. Cleveland boasts about inventing gas masks, shopping malls and Life Savers Candy. Gas masks would’ve been invented anyway, malls are on the verge of extinction, and Life Savers are probably the 639th best candy you can buy.

Thanks for the contributions, Cleveland.

In Pittsburgh the old robber barons were horrible to their employees. But at least they left parks, libraries and universities for the people. Even if it was to assuage their guilt, their contributions are still in use today. You see the names of Carnegie, Frick and Mellon throughout the city. But in Cleveland there is no Rockefeller University, or Steinbrenner Park, or Don King Center for Youth. They all got out of Cleveland and never came back.

As the football season begins, the dominance over Cleveland will continue. The Steelers open the season against the Browns. Steelers cornerback Joe Haden, an ex-Brown, will finally get to see how the other half lives. The Stanley Cup is still in Pittsburgh and people are still celebrating. Meanwhile in Cleveland, the Indians and the Cavaliers are both defending runners-up. In Cleveland, that’s a pretty good year.

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53. Drop from the team 54. Pin holder 55. “That smarts!”

56. Bone connected to the elbow 57. Boxer who said “don’t count the days, make the days count” 59. Prepare fried chicken with no problems?

62. Middle-aged fellows grow molars?

64. Insect stages 65. ___ Milan (Italian football club) 66. Cell occupier 67. Angel hair, e.g.

68. Condemns 69. Like Indian Summer days 70. Rain-snow mix

briefly 19. State where the Appalachian Trail starts 21. Dickensian outburst 26. Tapers off 28. Four Corner’s state 29. Poutine ingredient 30. Squeezing slitherer 31. Running backs stats.

33. “Maybe not even...”

34. Fifth word of “America” 37. Must have 38. Superior French vineyards 39. More than self-confident 40. Rejections 41. Direct-to-subscriber’s streaming service,

DOWN

for short 42. Attacked, as a bag of chips 46. 8/21/17 event 47. Go past the scheduled time 48. Patronizes, as an inn 50. Potatoes and yams 51. Rabbit or rat 52. “Wow” sensation 55. Dot-com with an exclamation point in its logo 56. Same-old same-old 57. During 58. TV host Jay 60. Cut glass 61. Chrome Web Store downloads 63. Presidents pro ___ {LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS}

1. Experienced sailor 2. Blake Griffin, for one 3. Spoke one’s mind 4. Chilling 5. Simply the best 6. Jason who played Lucius Malfoy in the “Harry Potter” movies 7. Muscles targeted with Arnold presses 8. Bright-hued fish 9. Prank that involves sticking someone’s head into a toilet as it flushes 10. Scepter mate 11. Hatchery with many schools 12. Physics tidbit 13. Schumer’s crew,

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FOR THE WEEK OF

Free Will Astrology

09.06-09.13

{BY ROB BREZSNY}

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Will a routine trip to carry out an errand take you on a detour to the suburbs of the promised land? Will you worry you’re turning into a monster, only to find the freakishness is just a phase that you had to pass through on your way to unveiling some of your dormant beauty? Will a provocative figure from the past lead you on a productive wild-goose chase into the future? These are some of the possible storylines I’ll be monitoring as I follow your progress in the coming weeks.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Let’s meet in the woods after midnight and tell each other stories about our origins, revealing the secrets we almost forgot we had. Let’s sing the songs that electrified our emotions all those years ago when we first fell in love with our lives.

Starlight will glow on our ancient faces. The fragrance of loam will seep into our voices like rainwater feeding the trees’ roots. We’ll feel the earth turning on its axis, and sense the rumble of future memories coming to greet us. We’ll join hands, gaze into the dreams in each other’s eyes, and dive as deep as we need to go to find hidden treasures.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): I don’t usually recommend giving gifts with strings attached. On the contrary, I advise you to offer your blessings without having any expectations at all. Generosity often works best when the recipients are free to use it any way they see fit. In the coming weeks, however, I’m making an exception to my rule. According to my reading of the omens, now is a time to be specific and forceful about the

way you’d like your gifts to be used. As an example of how not to proceed, consider the venture capitalist who donated $25,000 to the University of Colorado. All he got in return was a rest room in a campus building named after him. If you give away $25,000, Scorpio, make sure you at least get a whole building named after you.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Now that you’re getting a taste of what life would be like if you ruled the world, I’ll recommend a manual. It’s called How To Start Your Own Country, by Erwin Strauss. (Get a free peek here: tinyurl.com/YouSovereign.) You could study it for tips on how to obtain national sovereignty, how to recruit new citizens and how to avoid paying taxes to yourself. (P.S.: You can make dramatic strides toward being the boss of yourself and your destiny even without forming your own nation.)

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): There was a time when not even the most ambitious explorers climbed mountains. In the western

get your yoga on!

world, the first time it happened was in 1492, when a Frenchman named Antoine de Ville ascended to the top of Mont Aiguille, using ladders, ropes and other props. I see you as having a kinship with de Ville in the coming weeks, Capricorn. I’d love to see you embark on a big adventure that would involve you trying on the role of a pioneer.

This feat wouldn’t necessarily require strenuous training and physical courage. It might be more about daring creativity and moral courage.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Science fiction proposes that there are alternate worlds alongside the visible one — hidden, yes, but perhaps accessible with the right knowledge or luck. In recent years, maverick physicists have given the idea more credibility, theorizing that parallel universes exist right next to ours. Even if these hypothetical places aren’t literally real, they serve as an excellent metaphor. Most of us are so thoroughly embedded in our own chosen niche that we are oblivious to the realities that other people inhabit. I bring these thoughts to your attention, Aquarius, because it’s a favorable time to tap into those alternate, parallel, secret, unknown or unofficial realms. Wake up to the rich sources that have been so close to you, but so far away.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I’m always in favor of you cultivating a robust relationship with your primal longings. But I’ll be rooting extra hard for you to do that during the next 11 months. I hope you will dig deep to identify your primal longings, and I hope you will revere them as the wellspring of your life energy, and I hope you will figure out all the tricks and strategies you will need to fulfill them. Here’s a hint about how to achieve the best results as you do this noble work: Define your primal longings with as much precision as you can, so that you will never pursue passing fancies that bear just a superficial resemblance to the real things.

ARIES (March 21-April 19):

schoolhouseyoga.com gentle yoga yin yoga ÁRZ \RJD meditation

teacher training ashtanga yoga prenatal yoga family yoga

You’re half-intoxicated by your puzzling adventures — and half-bewildered, as well. Sometimes you’re spinning out fancy moves, sweet tricks and surprising gambits. On other occasions you’re stumbling and bumbling and mumbling. Are you really going to keep up this rhythm? I hope so, because your persistence in navigating through the challenging fun could generate big rewards.

Like what, for example? Like the redemptive transformation of a mess into an asset.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “Free your mind and your ass will follow,” sings funk pioneer George Clinton in his song “Good Thoughts, Bad Thoughts.” And what’s the best way to free your mind? Clinton advises you to “Be careful of the thought-seeds you plant in the garden of your mind.” That’s because the ideas

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

09.06/09.13.2017

you obsess on will eventually grow into the experiences you attract into your life. “Good thoughts bring forth good fruit,” he croons, while “Bullshit thoughts rot your meat.” Any questions, Taurus? According to my astrological analysis, this is the best possible counsel for you to receive right now.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): James Loewen wrote a book called Lies My Teacher Told Me: Everything Your American History Textbook Got Wrong. He said, for instance, that during the Europeans’ invasion and conquest of the continent, it wasn’t true that Native Americans scalped white settlers. In fact, it was mostly the other way around: whites scalped Indians. Here’s another example: The famous blind and deaf person, Helen Keller, was not a sentimental spokesperson for sweetness and light, but rather a radical feminist and socialist who advocated revolution.

I invite you to apply Loewen’s investigative approach to your personal past, Gemini. The coming weeks will be an excellent time to uncover hidden, incomplete and distorted versions of your history, and correct them.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Roger Hodge writes books now, but when he worked for Harper’s magazine, he had an unusual specialty. He gathered heaps of quirky facts, and assembled several at a time into long sentences that had a nutty poetic grace. Here’s an example: “British cattle have regional accents, elephants mourn their dead, nicotine sobers drunk rats, scientists have concluded that teenagers are physically incapable of being considerate, and clinical trials of an ‘orgasmatron’ are underway in North Carolina.” I’m offering Hodge as a worthy role model for you in the coming weeks, Cancerian. Be curious, miscellaneous and free-flowing. Let your mind wander luxuriantly as you make unexpected connections. Capitalize on the potential blessings that appear through zesty twists and tangy turns.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In Japan you can buy a brand of candy that’s called The Great Buddha’s Nose Snot. Each piece consists of a rice puff that resembles the Buddha’s nose filled with bits of brown sugar that symbolize the snot. The candy-making company assures customers that eating this treat brings them good luck. I invite you to be equally earthy and irreverent about your own spiritual values in the coming days. You’re in prime position to humanize your relationship with divine influences … to develop a more visceral passion for your holiest ideals … to translate your noblest aspirations into practical, enjoyable actions.

Why is this a perfect moment? To hear my reasons why, tune in to my podcast: www.bit.ly/ PerfectionNow.

GO TO REALASTROLOGY.COM TO CHECK OUT ROB BREZSNY’S EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES AND DAILY TEXT-MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. THE AUDIO HOROSCOPES ARE ALSO AVAILABLE BY PHONE AT 1-877-873-4888 OR 1-900-950-7700

Savage Love {BY DAN SAVAGE}

I’m a lady considering taking on a foot fetishist as a slave. He would do chores around my house, including cleaning and laundry, and give foot rubs and pedicures in exchange for getting to worship and jack off to my model-perfect feet when I’ve decided he’s earned it. Am I morally obligated to tell my roommates? Technically the guy would be in their common space too. I will fully vet him with references and meet him in a neutral location at least once — and anything else you might suggest I do for security’s sake. Though my roommates are not what you would call conservative, I’m not sure they’d understand this kind of arrangement. I would have my slave come over when no one is around, and then my roommates could come home to a sparkly clean common area! My slave would never have access to their personal spaces, nor would I leave him alone in any area of our home until a strong bond of trust had been established. No harm, no foul? Or am I crossing a line?

My 7-year-old son started getting really into gauze, splints and bandages when he was 3, and by the time he was 4, it became clearly sexualized. He gets a boner when he plays “broken bone” or just looks at bandages, and he has expressed how much he loves to touch his penis when he does this.

My husband and I (both happily vanilla) have been accepting and casual about this.

We’ve provided him with a stash of “supplies,” taught him the concept of privacy and alone time, and frequently remind him to never wrap bandages around his head or neck. Is it normal to be so kinky at such a young age? I know kinks generally develop from childhood associations.

When he was 2, he had surgery to correct a common issue on his groin. Might that have sparked this? I want my son to grow up with a healthy and positive sexuality.

Are we doing him a favor or a disservice by supplying him with materials, freedom and privacy to engage in a kink so young?

BOY ALWAYS NEEDING “DOCTORING” AND GETTING EDGIER

MAN INTO CLEANING A SHARED APARTMENT

A friend in Berlin has a similar arrangement.

This guy comes over to clean his apartment once a week and — if my friend thinks he’s done a good enough job — my friend rewards him with a knee to the balls. It’s a good deal for both parties: My vanilla-but-kink-adjacent friend gets a sparkly clean apartment; this guy gets his balls busted on a regular basis. But my friend lives alone, MICASA, and that makes all the difference. Or does it?

Time for some playing-games-with-footfetishists theory: If you were having sex with a boyfriend in the common areas of your apartment when your roommates weren’t home — let’s say your boyfriend wanted to fuck you on the kitchen floor — you wouldn’t be morally obligated to text your roommates and ask their permission. But we’re not talking about a normal guy here or normal sex — we’re talking about a fetishist who wants to be your slave. Does that make a difference? It might to people who regard kinksters as dangerous sex maniacs, MICASA, but a kinky guy isn’t any more or less dangerous than a vanilla guy. And a kinky guy you’ve gone to the trouble to vet — by getting his real name and contact info, by meeting in public at least once, by asking for and following up with references — presents less of a threat to you and your roommates than some presumed-to-be-vanilla rando one of you brought home from a bar at 2 a.m.

Strip away the sensational elements — his thing for feet, his desire to be your chore slave, the mental image of him jacking off all over your toes — and what are we left with?

A friends-with-benefits arrangement. A sparkly clean apartment benefits you (and your roommates); the opportunity to worship your feet benefits him. This guy would be a semi-regular sex partner of yours, MICASA, and while the sex you’re having may not be conventional, the sex you have in your apartment — including the sex you might have in the common areas when no one is at home — is ultimately none of your roommates’ business.

That said, MICASA, unless or until all your roommates know what’s up, I don’t think you should ever allow this guy to be alone in your apartment.

Your son’s behavior isn’t that abnormal, BANDAGE. It’s standard for kids, even very young kids, to touch their genitals — in public, where it can be a problem, or in private, where it should never be a problem. And lord knows kids obsess about the strangest shit. Right now your son is obsessed with bandages and splints and gauze, his interests aren’t purely intellectual, and it’s easy to see a possible link between his experience with bandages and gauze in his swimsuit area and his obsession.

None of this means your son is definitely going to be kinky when he grows up, BANDAGE — not that there’s anything wrong with being kinky when you grow up. There are lots of happy, healthy kinksters out there, and your kid could be one of them when he grows up. But it’s too early to tell, and so long as his interests aren’t complicating his life, your son’s whatever-this-is will become less of your concern over time and ultimately it will be none of your business.

In the meantime, you don’t wanna slap a “so kinky” label on a 7-year-old. But you’re doing everything right otherwise. You aren’t shaming your son, you aren’t making bandages and gauze and splints more alluring by denying him access to them, you are teaching him important lessons about privacy and what needs to be reserved for “alone time.”

You ask if it’s normal to be “so kinky” at such a young age. Probably not — but so what?

According to science, most adults have paraphilias, a.k.a. “non-normative sexual desires and interests.”

That means kinks are normal — at least for grown-ups — so even if your son isn’t normal now, BANDAGE, he’ll be normal someday. Most happy, healthy, well-adjusted adult kinksters can point to things in their childhood that seemed to foreshadow their adult interests in bandages/ bondage/balloons/whatever. Author, journalist and spanking fetishist Jillian Keenan (Sex With Shakespeare) was fascinated by spanking when she was your son’s age; Keenan likes to say she was conscious of her kink orientation before she knew anything about her sexual orientation. So while your son’s behavior may not be “normal” for a kid who grows up to be vanilla, it would be “normal” for someone who grows up to be kinky.

On the Lovecast, Dan and Jesse Bering chat about your father’s penis: savagelovecast.com.

SEND YOUR QUESTIONS TO MAIL@SAVAGELOVE.NET AND FIND THE SAVAGE LOVECAST (DAN’S WEEKLY PODCAST) AT SAVAGELOVECAST.COM

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