The Big Gay Pride Issue - Pittsburgh City Paper

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FROM NEWS STORIES TO COLUMNS TO PITTSBURGH PRIDE 2017 EVENT LISTINGS, THIS ISSUE SPOTLIGHTS ASPECTS OF PITTSBURGH’S LGBTQ COMMUNITY. #HAPPYPRIDEWEEKPITTSBURGH #MAKEAMERICAGAYAGAIN

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EVENTS 6.16 – 5-9:30pm FACTORY SWING SHIFT The Factory stays up late!

Free with museum admission

6.18 – 8pm DOUBLE FEATURE: ANDY WARHOL’S TARZAN & JANE REGAINED… SORT OF (1963) AND TARZAN THE APE MAN (1932) Ace Hotel Pittsburgh – Gym (East Liberty) Ace Hotel Pittsburgh is The Warhol’s official hotel sponsor.

FREE; Register at warhol.org

7.21 – 5-8pm TEACHER WORKSHOP: POP CULTURE IN THE CLASSROOM Tickets $30

7.28 – 5-9:30pm FACTORY SWING SHIFT The Factory stays up late!

Free with museum admission

7.28 – 7-10pm SILVER SCREEN BAZAAR Hollywood-related memorabilia and collectible marketplace and Pittsburgh premiere of the Warhol film San Diego Surf (1968/1996).

Free with museum admission

The Andy Warhol Museum receives state arts funding support through a grant from the Pennsylvania Council on the Arts, a state agency funded by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania; the National Endowment for the Arts, a federal agency and The Heinz Endowments. Further support is provided by the Allegheny Regional Asset District.

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06.07/06.14.2017 VOLUME 27 + ISSUE 23

INVIGORATED.

[EDITORIAL] Editor CHARLIE DEITCH News Editor REBECCA ADDISON Arts & Entertainment Editor BILL O’DRISCOLL Associate Editor AL HOFF Digital Editor ALEX GORDON Staff Writers RYAN DETO, CELINE ROBERTS Music Writer MEG FAIR Interns CARLEY BONK, HALEY FREDERICK, KRISTA JOHNSON, HANNAH LYNN, JORDAN MILLER, MATT PETRAS, MARC WEEMS

How I feel after my weight loss journey.

-Judy Grimm

Lost 100 lbs. with gastric sleeve surgery

[ART]

From news stories to columns to Pittsburgh Pride 2017 event listings, this issue spotlights aspects of Pittsburgh’s LGBTQ community.

[NEWS]

“They could subject kids to conversion therapy, and the federal government would have no recourse.”

Associate Publisher JUSTIN MATASE Senior Account Executives PAUL KLATZKIN, JEREMY WITHERELL Advertising Representatives MACKENNA DONAHUE, BLAKE LEWIS Classified Manager ANDREA JAMES National Advertising Representative VMG ADVERTISING 1.888.278.9866 OR 1.212.475.2529

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“I live every day as a queer person and the way I move through the world is shaped by that.”

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A conversation with SisterPetra Pyper Pictapekhov of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence PAGE 54

Screen 45 Sports 47 Classifieds 50 Crossword 50 Astrology 52 Savage Love 53 The Last Word 54 NEWS

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THIS WEEK

“THERE ARE 100,000 KIDS THAT NEED A HOME AND I DON’T SEE ANYBODY ELSE STEPPING UP.”

ONLINE

www.pghcitypaper.com

Last weekend marked the beginning of the Three Rivers Arts Festival.

Check out our photo slideshows at www.pghcitypaper.com.

City Paper’s blog PolitiCrap was named best blog in Western Pennsylvania at this year’s Golden Quill awards.

Catch up on the latest posts at www.pghcitypaper.com/blogs/PolitiCrap.

{CP PHOTO BY JOHN COLOMBO}

Sean O’Donnell (behind sofa) and his husband Todd Collar (sitting) with their adopted sons A’Sean (left), Elijah (center) and Chris (right) at their home on the North Side

Check out our Instagram feed for #CPStreetPortraits, our new weekly feature by intern Jordan Miller at Instagram.com/pghcitypaper.

ADOPTING EXCLUSION

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S A GAY couple, Sean O’Donnell

and Todd Collar always wanted to .adopt kids, but it wasn’t something they initially thought possible.

“We have been together for 20 years,” says O’Donnell. “We have wanted kids for as long as we can remember. We didn’t think that this was something we could do.”

However, Pennsylvania has been a leader in adoptions by LGBTQ individuals for the past decade, thanks to a 2002 state Supreme Court decision that gave samesex couples equal adoption rights as nonsame-sex couples. Adoption by same-sex couples didn’t become legal nationwide until June 2015.

When the Pittsburgh couple realized nothing was holding them back, they were delighted and began fostering their nowson, Chris, in 2014. They then brought Elijah

into their home in 2015, and they’re currently finalizing paperwork for their soon-to-be son, A’Sean, whom they have been fostering for months. All told, O’Donnell says he and Collar are happy with their family and they’re glad they pursued adoption.

LGBTQ advocates say federal legislation would allow religious adoption agencies to discriminate {BY RYAN DETO} “That was the only option that we considered,” says O’Donnell. “We knew we wanted to give a home to children that were already out there. We have not encountered

any negativity. [Everyone] is just happy that these kids have a home. … People always say the kids are so lucky. No, we are the lucky ones. They bring us so much joy and love; it’s endless what they bring to us.”

But proposed federal legislation introduced by U.S. Rep. Mike Kelly (R-Butler) is looking to alter the national landscape for LGBTQ adoption, potentially limiting options for LGBTQ people to participate in the process. The Child Welfare Provider Inclusion Act of 2017 seeks to “ensure that organizations with religious or moral convictions are allowed to continue to provide services for children,” and continue to receive federal funds even if those organizations refuse to work with people who run counter to their “moral convictions.”

For LGBTQ-rights advocates, this bill is a dog whistle to Kelly’s far-right base, CONTINUES ON PG. 08

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ADOPTING EXCLUSION, CONTINUED FROM PG. 06

suggesting that it’s acceptable to discriminate against LGBTQ people. Furthermore, they say, it could add barriers for children looking for homes and enable religious adoption agencies to practice unpopular programs like conversion therapy.

Kelly and his conservative backers say the bill would merely protect the rights of religious organizations, and maintain the longstanding relationship between the government and religious adoption agencies. But Kelly’s LGBTQ constituents hope the congressman will also consider their rights and, ultimately, the future of the kids and parents of all backgrounds looking to create families.

ACCORDING TO the U.S. Department of

Health and Human Services, more than 400,000 children and youth are in foster care, and more than 100,000 of them are waiting to be adopted. O’Donnell says this figure is what drove him and his husband to adopt.

“There are 100,000 kids that need a home and I don’t see anybody else stepping up,” says O’Donnell.

O’Donnell says he’s fortunate to live in Pittsburgh, where there are many agencies, like Three Rivers Adoption Council, that will work with LGBTQ people. But he also recognizes the difficulties in rural areas, where there are typically fewer such adoption agencies. For example, Pittsburgh City Paper searched through the state-certified adoption agencies of Western Pennsylvania and found that rural counties tend to have one county-run adoption agency and one or two nonprofit adoption agencies each, and that most of these are religion based.

Because of this, O’Donnell says Kelly’s bill could limit adoption access for LGBTQ

and non-faith individuals. These potential parents looking to use a nonprofit agency would most likely have to go through one in a city, which would mean traveling to and from the city to take adoption-preparation classes and fill out paperwork.

“You are cutting them off, and you are forcing them to drive hours to the city to take classes,” says O’Donnell. “You are making it more difficult for the kids to be placed and sentencing these kids to a life in the [county-run] foster system.”

Adoption agencies throughout the U.S. must be certified by state governments to receive funding. A few states, like Massachusetts and California, have refused to funnel federal funds to religious adoption organizations, unless those organizations promised to follow the state’s civil-rights laws, which prohibit discrimination on the basis of matters like race, gender, religion and sexual orientation.

It was these states’ refusals that motivated Kelly to introduce legislation (H.R. 1881), which he first did in 2014. “Faithbased organizations have long played a heroic role in caring for our country’s most vulnerable kids,” wrote Kelly in a statement to CP. “There is no good reason why any of these care providers should be disqualified from working with their government to serve America’s families simply because of their deeply-rooted religious beliefs. When it comes to helping kids and making families stronger, all service providers — religious or otherwise — should have a seat at the table.”

But David Stacy, government affairs

director of nationwide LGBTQ-rights group the Human Rights Campaign, says there is good reason to deny funding to religious organizations that discriminate. He says religious organizations can also negatively impact the lives of LGBTQ youth in their foster-care systems.

“They could subject kids to conversion therapy, and the federal government would have no recourse,” says Stacy, noting that Kelly’s bill would provide religious organizations with federal protections that would override local conversion-therapy bans, like Pittsburgh’s. “And many states have passed LGBTQ protections. Normally when a bill is associated with funding a program, it doesn’t also try to undercut civil rights.”

Kelly rejects the assertion his bill would negatively impact potential LGBTQ parents and LGBTQ kids, calling it “100 percent inclusive and 100 percent child-focused.” His office said in an email to CP that the bill “does nothing to prevent any organization from working with any LGBT couple, nor does it compel any organization to stop serving LGBT families.”

But Stacy of the HRC doesn’t buy Kelly’s insistence that his bill is merely about protecting religious organizations. He notes that Catholic Charities, which tends to shun prospective LGBTQ parents, has a large presence in Pennsylvania. In fact, in many parts of Kelly’s own district, which stretches from Erie County south to Butler County, the only private, nonprofit adoption agencies are faith-based organizations, and many are Catholic Charities branches.

“HE REALLY HAS NOT DEMONSTRATED ANY SUPPORT FOR HIS LGBTQ CONSTITUENTS.”

“If you have a same-sex couple that has an open heart and wants to take in a child, we need to allow that,” says Stacy. “The fact that we are trying to cut people out based on biased beliefs, we shouldn’t be doing that. It’s not like we are willy-nilly placing people. If there are LGBT people who are qualified, why throw up barriers? ... It is not supposed to be about the best interest of the provider, it is supposed to be about the best interest of the child.”

Stacy also notes that Kelly has an abhorrent LGBTQ record, which HRC tracks.

In 2014, Kelly was inducted into HRC’s inaugural “Hall of Shame” for his anti-LGBTQ record. In 2014, Stacy wrote that Hall of Shame legislators “proactively work to undermine existing legal protections and promote anti-LGBTQ discrimination.”

“He has consistently scored a zero on our scorecard,” says Stacy. “He really has not demonstrated any support for his LGBTQ constituents.”

One of those constituents is Sabrina Schnur, who is part of the Butler branch of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. She says Kelly has never met with the organization and he has a bad reputation in the Butler LGBTQ community. “Everyone in this community knows he is not a friend of the LGBT,” says Schnur.

Kelly’s bill has been introduced three times and has never even seen a committee vote. But Schnur says that this is more about sending an anti-LGBTQ message throughout Kelly’s district.

“For the people who are religious or the more bigoted, it is kind of like a dog whistle, to go ahead and discriminate,” says Schnur.

Additionally, Kelly’s assertion that the bill isn’t meant to affect LGBTQ individuals runs counter to statements from a group CONTINUES ON PG. 10

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ADOPTING EXCLUSION, CONTINUED FROM PG. 08

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aligned with him, and which is looking to politicize the bill. Ryan Anderson, of the Heritage Foundation, a conservative think tank, wrote a statement supporting the Child Welfare Provider Inclusion Act. It read, in part: “Shutting down agencies or disqualifying them from government programs because they believe kids deserve both a mom and a dad does nothing to help children in need. All it does is score a point for LGBT activists using children as pawns in their culture war. We need as many adoption and foster-care agencies working for kids as possible. But there is no need to force them to embrace LGBT orthodoxy.”

Furthermore, Schnur, who came out as a trans woman several years ago, says legislation like this is a step backward for places around the country like Butler, where acceptance of LGBTQ people is growing. She says Butler City Council will soon be voting on a non-discrimination ordinance, and many in her community have begun to embrace her. “I work in a steel mill,” says Schnur. “I work on the floor. Even they don’t care what I do. Even they are not that anti-LGBT.” Another one of Kelly’s constituents in Erie also says the area is increasing its LG-

BTQ friendliness. Mike Mahler, of the LGBTQ newsite Erie Gay News, says Erie has had 25 years of successful Pride parades, and that an openly trans man is running for school board this year.

Mahler says Kelly and the Erie LGBTQ community have “no relationship,” but adds that it might be helpful for Kelly to meet with LGBTQ groups. He thinks this could give Kelly perspective on bills like the Child Welfare Inclusion Act, and even make him more moderate on LGBTQ issues.

But Mahler isn’t optimistic this will happen. “He hasn’t shown any signs of support,” says Mahler. “I am not exactly holding my breath.”

Schnur knows that in many parts of Kelly’s district, there is still a struggle for LGBTQ rights, made even harder by Kelly’s lack of support. But in the end, she worries about the kids who might not get parents due to potential restrictions if Kelly’s bill were to become law.

“This bill is just alienating a bunch of parents, not just LGBT, but even a couple that is unmarried,” says Schnur. “A child not loved is kind of the ultimate harm to a child. As long as they are going to be loved by people, then who cares who they are?”

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PITTSBURGH PRIDE

math through interactive gallery shows and workshops for kids and adults. The work of more than a dozen art vendors will be featured at this event, and guests can screenprint their own shirt or bag for $5. Donations will be collected to support SisTers PGH.

Don’t miss these events celebrating the LGBTQ community {BY REBECCA ADDISON}

Pride Fest

THE EVENTS during Pittsburgh’s Pride

celebration are meant to both entertain and educate. Here’s a rundown of some can’t-miss events during this year’s celebration.

LGBTQ Media Training 1-5 p.m. Thu., June 8. Persad Center, 5301 Butler St., Lawrenceville At this training event, regional media will get information about working with the LGBTQ community. Speakers will include members of the local media and the LGBTQ community. The event is being sponsored by the ACLU of Pennsylvania, Three Rivers Community Foundation and Persad Center, and is being organized by Sequal Consulting and the Pittsburgh Lesbian Correspondents blog.

{CP PHOTO BY JOHN COLOMBO}

Celebrating at Pride in 2016

Pride Wellness Check-Up 5:30-7:30 p.m. Fri., June 9. 5801 Video Lounge & Café, 5801 Ellsworth Ave., Shadyside Stop by the Gay Guy Happy Hour for a

Be you.

Sexual orientation and gender identity matter in health care.

412-248-0550

Primary Care, PrEP Clinic, Free HIV and STD Testing!

free wellness check-up. The Central Outreach Wellness van will be on hand to provide diagnostic examinations, such as blood-pressure readings and screenings for sexually transmitted infections, as well as a PrEP survey.

Smoke and MirrorsPenn OUT Loud Art Crawl 3 p.m.-noon, Sat., June 10.

Penn Avenue, Bloomfield/Garfield Sponsored by the Gay and Lesbian Community Center of Pittsburgh, this event is part art show, part gallery crawl and part dance party. During the day, check out art, spoken word and more at several stops along Penn Avenue, including Bunker Projects, Level Up Studios, the Thomas Merton Center, The Clay Penn, The Big Idea Bookstore stall, Nexus Pittsburgh, Most Wanted Fine Art and Workshop PGH DIY School. Look for performances by Project Silk, LGBTQ Bert (a queer comedy troupe), Mark Lykkos, Serpentine, Kara Lynne Laus, Big Splash and more. The Pittsburgh AIDS Taskforce will also be available to do testing.

Queer Craft Market 6-10 p.m. Sat., June 10.

4824 Penn Ave., Bloomfield Join Assemble and Queer PGH for a celebration of LGBTQ artists and makers in Pittsburgh. Assemble is a nonprofit organization that engages the community in science, technology, engineering, art and

Sat., June 10, and Sun., June 11.

Downtown Hosted by the Delta Foundation, this two-day event will feature more than 150 vendors on Liberty Avenue; food booths; family-friendly games and inflatable attractions; entertainment on three stages; a PRIDE Radio Dance Party area; and a 300-foot Mobile Zip Line.

Delta’s weekend activities also include the Rise Up for Our Rights Rally at noon on Sunday, where hundreds will gather at the PPG Paints Arena to hear from local, regional and national speakers and leaders. The theme is elevating the LGBTQ community and causes.

Following the rally will be the EQT Equality March at 12:30 p.m. featuring marchers from various organizations and floats.

Those opposed to EQT’s sponsorship of the event are invited to show solidarity by wearing grey clothing and accessories as part of the “Grey Out Rainbow Capitalism” campaign.

People’s Pride March 2k17 1-3 p.m. Sun., June 11.

1100 Liberty Ave., Downtown This event, starting at the Greyhound Station, was spurred in response to concerns about the EQT Equality March and its organizers the Delta Foundation. The alternative event is being organized by SisTers PGH, a homeless shelter for trans people in Western Pennsylvania. The organization says EQT has a negative impact on the environment and has supported anti-LGBT legislators.

Pride on the Square 1-4 p.m. Sun., June 11.

Market Square, Downtown Presented by Mayor Bill Peduto’s LGBTQIA+ Advisory Council, this event will feature resources, entertainment, food and more. LGBTQ organizations and allies are allowed to set up resource tables for free.

It will feature performances by Lyndsey Smith from the Lyndsey Smith & Soul Distribution, Phat Man Dee and other performers and artists.

RA D D I S ON @ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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Pittsburgh AIDS Center for Treatment The Pittsburgh AIDS Center for Treatment (PACT) provides continuous primary medical care and education for those who are infected with HIV or have AIDS. PACT also offers specialty services including women’s health care, Hepatitis-C care, and mental health care.

To make an appointment at the PACT clinic, or for information about HIV/AIDS, call 412-647-PACT (7228) or visit UPMC.com/PACT.

Affiliated with the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine.

UPMC is ranked among the nation’s best hospitals by U.S. News & World Report.

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[OP-ED]

RAINBOW VIEW {BY MEG FAIR}

55115 1 155 Butler Street Street, Pittsburgh Pittsburgh, PA 15201

412-781-1119

5968 Baum Blvd East Liberty

Do You Shop at Convenience Stores?

Have you ever purchased energy drinks, cookies, or cigarettes from a convenience store?

If so you may be eligible for a research study. The RAND Corporation, in Pittsburgh, is conducting a research study to learn about what ADULTS, ages 18-65, buy at convenience stores. Participation requires completion of a 10 minute phone or internet survey, one 90 minute visit to the RAND study center, and a short follow-up phone call. People who complete the study will be compensated for their time and effort with $75 in gift cards. Parking or bus passes will be provided.

If you are interested and want to learn more about the study, please call 412-204-7353, e-mail adult-cstore-study@rand.org or visit us at www.rand.org/storestudy.

The RAND Corporation is a nonprofit institution that helps improve policy and decision making through research and analysis.

AS CITY PAPER’S music writer, I’m not used to writing anything this close to the front of the paper. But it’s Pride week and as one of the gay™ employees here, I wanted to talk a bit about my experiences as a queer journalist/person in this city.

I’m a gender-fluid pansexual person which means my preferred pronouns are they/them and I date/fall in love with anyone across the gender spectrum. I usually just refer to myself as queer. I’m also a pop-culture addict who spends a lot of time consuming music (duh), movies, TV and social-media trends.

It was through pop-culture consumption that I first realized I was into girls.

This was long before college when I discovered the world of gender and sexuality as spectrums. I initially came out to my parents as bisexual in high school, but my suspicions about my romantic and sexual interests came up much earlier; it started with a crush on Meg, the animated female lead in Hercules with a husky voice and independent spirit.

In middle school, I heard the song “Teenage Dirtbag,” by Wheatus, and I was convinced that the singer with the high voice was a girl. I genuinely believed that it was a lesbian love song about unrequited love for a straight girl, and I was obsessed because I was a young gay with unspoken crushes on 80 percent of my straight friends. These days I have “Boyfriend,” by Tegan & Sara, actual queer women, to fill that void.

This has been a big year for visible queerness.

Moonlight won Best Picture at the Oscars; a queercentric podcast called Nancy from WNYC hit the airwaves; Orange Is the New Black writer Lauren Morelli and OITNB actress Samira Wiley got married; and Lena Waithe, of Master of None, continued to be and portray a complex queer woman of color (long live the soft stud!), just to name a few victories.

That being said, there’s bullshit in pop culture and music journalism, too. Kristen Stewart and Stella Maxwell will be photographed holding hands and kissing in public, and tabloids will write captions like: “gal pals having fun.” They aren’t “pals,” bucco, they’re lesbians, and they are in love.

Music journalists sometimes have a nasty habit of glorifying queer artists for their queerness alone, with tragic implications when a queer band sometimes turns out to not be the safe and honest icons

CP music writer Meg Fair

they were made out to be.

It’s such a fine line to walk, because queer visibility in music is so important.

Just like it was important for me to see a punk femme like Maura Weaver, from Mixtapes, playing guitar onstage when I was in high school, it is important for young, and old, queer folx to see themselves onstage so they know that they are welcome in that world too.

That’s one of the many reasons why artists like Aye Nako, Mykki Blanco, Thin Lips, Cayetana, Julien Baker, Angel Haze, Adult Mom, Worriers and Frank Ocean (and many more who exist and thrive out there!) are powerful and valuable. But representation works only when it’s consistent and dependent upon a band’s ability and art, instead of well-placed tokenism here and there.

When I need to for criticism’s sake, I can shed my rainbow-colored glasses, but the reality is that I live every day as a queer person and the way I move through the world is shaped by that. I inherently look for queerness in television, movies and music because I’m hungry to see a validation and reflection of my own experience. And when I’m not in my cozy world of music and visual art, I have to combat a world that doesn’t believe my gender fluidity is real, a world that sexualizes me as a femme person, a world that devalues me because of who I am and who I love.

That’s why Pride month and visible celebrations of LGBTQIA humanity are so important. By taking up space and asserting our right to bliss, we show the world around us that we are worthy of love and respect. It encourages a world in which queer people can live their truth both on and off the screen. Then young LGBTQIA folks won’t have to read between the lines to see themselves reflected in pop culture.

THEY AREN’T PALS, BUCCO, THEY’RE LESBIANS.

M E G FA I R@ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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Dig out that vintage Prom attire and dance the night away with Pittsburgh DJ Company!

June 16 | 6โ 10 pm

โ ข Cash bar. Snacks available for purchase. โ ข Perfect your moves with Pittsburgh Dance Center.

โ ข Pose for a photo in front of our green screen. ร )RXU รงRRUV RI H[KLELWV WRQV RI science fun, and NO KIDS!

INFO + REGISTRATION: CarnegieScienceCenter.org/21plus Cost: $12 in advance, $17 at the door

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Pittsburgh’s Independent

CITIZEN POLICE REVIEW BOARD

[PITTSBURGH LEFT]

REDIRECTING HATE {BY CHARLIE DEITCH}

Proudly promoting responsible citizenship and professional law enforcement through mutual accountability since 1997.

Dr. Emma Lucas-Darby, Chair • Mr. Thomas C. Waters, Vice Chair Mr. Elwin Green • Dr. Mary Jo Guercio • Ms. Karen McLellan Sr. Patrice Hughes, SC • Mr. Sheldon Williams Ms. Elizabeth C. Pittinger, Executive Director • The Honorable William F. Ward, Solicitor 816 Fifth Avenue, Pittsburgh PA 15219 412-765-8023 Voice • 412-765-8059 Fax • www.CPRBpgh.org

Tag your photos of Pittsburgh with #CPReaderArt on Instagram, and we’ll regram our favorites!

pghcitypaper Thanks for sharing, @sarannss!

SOMEONE RECENTLY took issue with all of

the “negative” things that I write about President Donald Trump. They told me that I need to be “less critical” and “fall in line” with the way things are in this country now. And that if I were a “patriotic American,” I would instead “roll up my sleeves” and do something constructive to help make this nation this “great” again.

So I mulled it over for a while; really let it soak in my gray matter. Maybe I was being too negative and, instead, needed to be more helpful. I really put on my thinking cap and thought really hard about which nitwittery that flies out of Trump’s mouth I despise the most. It’s hard to narrow it down to one thing when the man spits out more shit than a bulldog on a steady diet of vodka-soaked Raisin Bran.

From immigration to the environment, Trump is on the wrong side of history on most things and doesn’t seem to care. In fact, all he seems to care about is having an “enemy” that he can blame for all of his problems and tweet about it at 6 a.m. In recent days, maybe because it’s June and Pride festivities are on tap for cities all over the country, he seems to be doing everything he can to piss off the LGBTQ community.

It’s not a new thing. Despite Trump claiming during his campaign that he’s a friend of LGBTQ Americans, he’s shown consistently that he’s anything but. He rolled back President Obama’s guidance allowing students to use the bathroom to match their identified gender. The Census Bureau announced it will not be asking questions about sexual orientation or gender identity. There was also a recent blowup when the Department of Health and Human Services decided to eliminate questions from its survey of older Americans that allowed them to identify as LGBTQ individuals. And earlier this month, he refused to release a proclamation honoring LGBTQ Pride month. He’s also surrounded himself with an anti-gay attorney general in Jeff Sessions, and Vice President Mike Pence believes in open discrimination against LGBTQ individuals and is a staunch proponent of “praying the gay away” through conversion therapy.

But rather than calling the president a “hate-mongering prick,” I want to help him find a way to change course on these issues. So what’s my solution to help Trump halt his hateful behavior toward members

Last year the White House was a little more festive during Pride Month.

of the LGBTQ community? Give him someone else to hate. Now, I’m not a fan of hatred myself (go ahead and laugh), but that seems to be what Trump needs. So here are a couple targets that actually deserve the President’s venom and covfefe.

Chechnya Reports began surfacing in recent months that this Russian republic was stepping up its persecution of gay men by detaining them in “concentration camps,” torturing them and murdering them.

Chechnya says it obviously isn’t doing this, because there are no gays in the republic. While an antiLGBTQ stalwart like Mike Pence would love to believe that a land without gays actually exists, the rest of us know BS when we see it.

Actively opposing this disgusting behavior should be a no-brainer, but so far the Trump administration has gone the other way. Last month, the U.S. denied visas to gay refugees seeking an escape from the violence.

HE SEEMS TO BE DOING EVERYTHING HE CAN TO PISS OFF THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY.

Himself In a way, Donald Trump is worse for LGBTQ Americans than even the staunchest opponents of granting equality to gay Americans. We know where Pence stands on these issues, but Trump is still pretending that he’s a friend to the LGBTQ community.

During his campaign, he was pretty good at the charade. He talked about protecting LGBTQ rights and fighting for equality. He even awkwardly held up a rainbow flag at a campaign event last fall. Most on the left never believed he would be a pro-LGBTQ leader, and he’s proven that the concern was warranted. Donald Trump loves to hate groups of people — gays, Mexicans, Muslims, refugees. But if he really wants to hate someone who’s bad for this country, all he needs to do is look in the mirror.

C D E I T C H @ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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WHERE EVERY DAY IS THROWBACK THURSDAY. Pittsburgh’s social timeline started long before social media. And now you can discover how Pittsburgher’s love for photography blossomed long before camera phones. The #Pixburgh exhibition features the most interesting 400 images selected from our extensive archives of local photography. Plus you’ll learn about the stories behind the camera, and you can even submit your own images to be part of the region’s family photo album. It’s a look at Pittsburgh, through the eyes – and lenses – of Pittsburghers.

1212 SMALLMAN STREET | PITTSBURGH, PA 15222 HEINZHISTORYCENTER.ORG

JUNE 9-11 • FREE ADMISSION DAYS AT THE HEINZ HISTORY CENTER COURTESY OF JACK BUNCHER FOUNDATION NEWS

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News of the Weird

S E N D YO UR WE I R D N E WS TO W E I RD N E W S @ E ART HL I NK . N E T O R WWW. NE WS O F T HE WE I R D. C OM

{BY CHUCK SHEPHERD}

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COME DISCOVER WHAT’S BEYOND THE

WOODEN BOXES 412-408-2228 | 5122 BUTLER ST, 15201

VINTAGE HOME DÉCOR ANTIQUES & COLLECTIBLES GARDENING FURNISHINGS & ART KITSCHY GIFTS

41st Annual PITTSBURGH PARTS-A-RAMA LLC

BUTLER FAIRGROUND, PA I-79 TO EXIT 99, RT. 422 EAST

JUNE 16, 17 & 18 Auto Parts Flea Market Cars, Parts, Toys

(412) 366-7154 Box 11102, Pittsburgh, PA 15237

www.pittsburghparts-a-rama.com

7/24 7-9pm Opening reception August Wilson Center 7/25 7-9pm Worship service at the ELPC 7/26 6-10pm Health fair in the square (Market Square) 7/27 6-10pm Variety Show Carnegie Library (Homewood) 7/28 5-8pm Happy Hour at Images 7/29 1-5pm Family Day at ELPC. Annual Ball -TBA 7/30 BBQ at Schenley Park (Prospect drive).

For more information visit www.pittsburghblackpride.org pghblackpride@gmail.com PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

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Leading Economic Indicators: (1) Andrew Bogut, signed as a free agent by the NBA’s Cleveland Cavaliers in March and expected to be a key player in the team’s quest to defend its league championship, checked into his first game and played 58 seconds before crashing into a bench and breaking his leg. For that 58 seconds, the Cavs owe Bogut $383,000. (2) Jose Calderon signed as a free agent with the Golden State Warriors in March, but the NBA-leading Warriors changed their mind (for unforeseen reasons) two hours after the deal and released Calderon. For his 119 minutes as a Warrior (6:06 p.m. to 8:05 p.m.), Calderon was paid $415,000.

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In a legislative battle waged since a 1979 state court decision, some North Carolinians tried once again this year to change a state law that explicitly states that once a person (almost always, of course, a “female”) has “consented” to an act of sexual intercourse, that consent cannot be withdrawn — even if the encounter turns violent. (The violence might be prosecuted as an “assault,” but never the more serious crime of “rape.”) Said state Sen. Jeff Jackson, whose bill to change the law failed in April to get a legislative hearing, “We’re the only state in the country where ‘no’ doesn’t mean ‘no.’”

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Annuall Unity Celebratio Celebration on July J uly 24th-30 -3 30th

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A country-and-western radio station in Benson, Ariz. (near Tucson), owned

by Paul Lotsof, has periodically run “publicservice announcements” about one of Lotsof’s pet peeves: the harsh sentences usually given to mere “collectors” of child pornography. Many, he believes, are nondangerous, daydreaming hermits — but often imprisoned for long stretches. Thus, his PSAs publicize tips for avoiding the police, such as saving child porn only on an external computer drive (and hiding the drive securely). Despite recent community outrage (causing Lotsof to retire the announcements), he remains defiant that, since he personally avoids child porn, he is merely exercising a free-speech right.

Skills: (1) In May, the British tribunal dealing with student cheating rejected the appeal of a law student who was caught taking an in-class exam with her textbook open (permitted) but containing handwritten notes in the margins — not permitted, but written in invisible ink legible via the UV light on her pen. (2) On testing day in March for Romania’s 14- and 15-year-olds, administrators of the country’s popular DEX online dictionary, acting on suspicion, changed the definitions of two words likely to be improperly looked up by cheaters during the exam. “[H]undreds” of school searches for the words took place that morning, but administrators were still mulling an appropriate punishment for the cheaters (who were, of course, easily identified by their misapplication of the suspect words).

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Awesome! (1) India’s Supreme Court approved an order recently that forced bars and liquor stores to close down if they were located less than 500 meters (1,640 feet) from state or national highways. India Times reported in April that the Aishwarya Bar in North Paravoor, Kerala, is still (legally) operating at its old location even though it is clearly within the 500meter restricted area. The owner explained that since he owns the land behind the bar, too, he had constructed a “serpentine” wooden maze in back and front that requires any entering customer to take the equivalent number of steps it would take to walk 500 meters. (A tax office official reluctantly accepted the arrangement.)

(2) Canadian Anton Pilipa, 39, who suffers from schizophrenia, was discovered — safe — in the Amazon rainforest state of Rondonia, Brazil, in November 2016, which was the first sighting of him since his disappearance in March 2012. He was unable to communicate well and had no ID or money, but his

family has actively been searching for him and believe the only way he could have traveled from the family home in Scarborough, Ontario, to Brazil (6,300 miles) was by hitchhiking or walking. (Bonus: The area in which he was found is noted for alligators and snakes.)

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A News of the Weird Classic (November 2013). Secrets of Highly Successful Business Owners: When Michelle Esquenazi was asked by a New York Post reporter in September (2013) why her all-female crew of licensed bounty hunters (Empire Bail Bonds of New York) is so successful at tricking bail-jumpers into the open, she offered a (five-letter-long) euphemism for a female body part. “It’s timeless,” she counseled. “Of course he’s going to open his door for a nice piece of [deleted].”

“The thing about defendants is no matter who they are (of whatever color), they’re all dumb. Every single last one of them is stupid.”

WAYNOVISION

Call 412-329-6523 today to schedule a tour!

Bethel Park Independent Retirement Living Bethel Park, PA | bethel-park.net ©2017 HARVEST MANAGEMENT SUB LLC, HOLIDAY AL MANAGEMENT SUB LLC, HOLIDAY AL NIC MANAGEMENT LLC.

June 9th

June 10th

Bathhouse Takeover

Hot Mass

June 11th

DID YOU KNOW?

After pride Foam Party

www.clubpittsburgh.com

CP IS SHAKING THINGS UP WITH OUR EMAIL NEWSLETTERS. WE WILL SOON HAVE SEPARATE NEWSLETTERS DEDICATED TOWARDS DIFFERENT INTERESTS.

SIGN UP FOR YOUR FAVORITES AT PGHCITYPAPER.COM/PITTSBURGH/NEWSLETTER

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to everyone who colored our Coloring Issue, here are some of our favorites!

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LOCAL

LISTEN AS YOU READ: SCAN THE CODE FOR OUR NEW SPOTIFY PLAYLIST, A SOUNDTRACK TO THE STORIES IN THIS SECTION, OR VISIT WWW.PGHCITYPAPER.COM/BLOGS/FFW/

BEAT

{BY MEG FAIR}

QUEERING THE SCENE This city is full of amazing musicians.

What’s even more magical is the amount of talented LGBTQ musicians, artists and promoters who are working on the stage and behind the scenes to foster a more inclusive community.

I have recently attended shows where there’s a healthy mix of trans people, gendernonconforming individuals, and guy and gal cisgender folks, and between all of them is a host of various queer identities.

That is not to say that our scene is perfect — far from it. There is always work to be done to unpack and dismantle “the hetero- and cis-normative HERE’S A LIST OF JUST A white-supremFEW REALLY TALENTED acist capitalist ARTISTS UNDER THE patriarchy” LGBTQ UMBRELLA WHO (phew!) that ARE ACTIVE IN OUR CITY: sneaks into all AllegrA communities, The Childlike Empress even DIY spaces.

Dinosoul Here are just a •f i g• few tips from a Hearken humble queer Jess Klein music journalist Lawn Care on how to Rue make a scene Scratchy Blanket more inclusive: Sleeping Witch & Saturn Seek out Swampwalk the many Serpentine talented queer Skull Kid performers and Soft girl. include them Side Eye on lineups.

Werefolk Actual sustained, regular representation is a key piece to the inclusivity puzzle, not tokenism applied to gigs headlined by an artist with a known queer identity. When representation becomes a healthy habit and routine, it allows people from smaller, less diverse communities to learn and grow alongside people with different life experiences.

This leads to my next point — education! I would love to see more zines that showcase the experience of local queer artists, that educate non-queer folks on how to be good allies, etc. Set up tables at any old show and pass out literature and have conversations about LGBTQ advocacy!

Education requires patience and can be draining for queer folks, so it’s good to be able to act as an educator to other straight folks if you’re an ally.

Fiscally support all artists (duh), but especially use your cash to support queer folks! There is ample research that folks who fall under the LGBTQ umbrella (especially the L, T and Q) are economically disadvantaged by capitalism. Fight the system while supporting good art.

{PHOTO COURTESY OF PAUL HARRIES}

All Them Witches, in the woods

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STRANGE BREW {BY BILL KOPP}

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ASHVILLE-BASED All Them Witches

play a modern variety of psychedelic blues. The four-piece group’s heavy music has caught on with audiences in a big way; like the four albums that came before it, 2017’s Sleeping Through the War is earning near-unanimous critical acclaim.

The band is currently on an American tour that runs through mid-June (including two nights at Pittsburgh’s Club Café); then it’s off to Europe for a series of concerts and festival dates.

All Them Witches aren’t constrained by genre classification. “Labels are just for people to relate to themselves,” says Charles Michael Parks Jr. (he generally answers to “Parks”), the band’s bassist-guitarist-vocalist in a recent phone interview with City Paper.

All Them Witches are occasionally likened to doom-metal band The Sword, for example. Parks believes that when a fan tells him, “You sound like The Sword,” what they really mean is, “You remind me of how I felt

MEGFAIR@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

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the first time I listened to The Sword.”

And looking at it from that perspective, Parks has no problem with the labels or comparisons. All Them Witches’ music doesn’t fit neatly into any one genre, especially since definitions are subjective and fluid. “The blues are still well and alive in modern times,” Parks points out. “But blues music isn’t a guy sitting with his acoustic guitar on a dusty road anymore.”

ALL THEM WITCHES WITH HANDSOME JACK

8 p.m. Tue., June 13, and 8 p.m.

Wed., June 14. Club Café, 56 S. 12th St., South Side. $14. 412-431-4950 or www.clubcafelive.com

All Them Witches has made a point of recording some of their albums using unusual methods. A 2013 EP was recorded using only two microphones; the band’s 2015 album Dying Surfer Meets His Maker was re-

corded in a cabin in rural Tennessee. Parks believes that various recording methods do have an effect on the nature of the final product. “Experimentation helps us not get locked down,” he says.

Unlike groups who believe that audience recordings of shows cut into artist profits, All Them Witches don’t discourage fans “taping” their concerts. “I love the culture of capturing a live show,” Parks says. He notes that a lot of bands have done great shows “that never get heard by anybody else,” and trading recordings does away with that limitation. “I encourage it,” he says.

After several years as an independent act, All Them Witches signed with New West Records in 2015. Things changed quickly for the band. Up to that point, guitarist Ben McLeod had been handling booking and other business matters. With those tasks delegated, Parks says that All Them Witches “get to be a band — we don’t have to worry about that other stuff.”

Parks describes the band’s relationship with New West as “adding more people to the team that have the same goal. They just let us do what we need to do to get the music out.” He notes that the character of record labels has changed a lot since the music-business heyday of the 20th century.

“Now,” he observes, “a lot of the labels are owned by musicians; they played in bands when they were younger.” With a chuckle, he adds, “I’m not scared of a label exec coming and taking over my stuff.”

Getting the music out hasn’t been a problem for All Them Witches. If one includes all of the band’s output — singles, EPs, live albums and studio releases — the group has released well over an album’s worth of music every year since 2012. And while some have suggested that the band’s music has a wider appeal now than on early albums like 2013’s Lightning at the Door, Parks says there’s no intention to make that the case.

“We’re not trying to make it more accessible to people,” Parks says. “It’s just the natural progression.” Some artists might say that they do it all for the fans, but songwriter Parks is more honest with himself.

“That’s a really good notion,” he concedes, “but I feel that’s kind of a lie. Because writing songs is the only way I can go to sleep at night. I do this for myself, and I do it for my friends.” He adds, “Anybody is welcome to show up” and enjoy it if they choose.

In the studio, All Them Witches makes judicious use of modern technology, but the band is careful not to take it too far and risk losing the qualities that make the group unique. “We’ve always done everything live in a room,” Parks says. “So what you hear on the basic track is all there — it’s all live.” And the group limits its use of on-board studio effects, choosing instead to get their distortion the old-fashioned way. “It’s all volume,” laughs Parks.

Not everyone loves the band’s dizzying, bone-crushing riffage on cuts like Sleeping Through the War’s “Don’t Bring Me Coffee.”

Parks recalls a dissenting, negative review of an All Them Witches release. He says the writer characterized the album as “proof that we could just slap a colorful cover on a record and record 46 minutes of sleepwalking.”

“And that’s totally fine,” Parks says with a good-natured laugh. “Music is not made for one person.” Bringing the discussion back to the blues, Parks emphasizes that All Them Witches make music that feels right to the band members. “A lot of people are still hashing out that Delta blues stuff, but they’re from a rich family in the suburbs or something,” he says. “I grew up as far from the Delta as possible.

But I feel we’re writing the blues from our perspective.”

SATURDAY, JUNE 17, 9:00 PM AUGUST WILSON CENTER TRUSTARTS.ORG • BOX OFFICE AT THEATER SQUARE 412-456-6666 • GROUPS 10+ TICKETS 412-471-6930

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P I T T S B U R G H

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NEW RELEASES {BY MIKE SHANLEY}

LONDON CALLING : AN EVENING WITH

L AU R A M V U L A SOUND/UNSOUND 15728 (SELF-RELEASED)

Sound/Unsound consists of drummer David Throckmorton, guitarist Josh Wulff and saxophonist Ben Opie. The trio specializes in free improvisation, although despite their respective track records, most of the music here would not be considered free jazz, i.e. wild blowing that still bears some distant link to Thelonious Monk. In fact, Opie doesn’t pick up the saxophone until about midway through 15728, and not until track eight (“Ghost Logic”) does he kick up the intensity. The

“Brilliantly fierce and fiercely brilliant” — THE LOND ON EVE NING STANDARD

Award–winning British singer Laura Mvula, has been the critics’ choice in the United Kingdom for the last four years. Don’t miss this soulful vocalist known for her inventive, atmospheric mix of R&B, jazz, classical, and pop.

THURSDAY, JUNE 15, 2017 • 8 PM DEBUT ! AUGUST WILSON CENTER PITTSBURGH

TRUS TARTS.ORG BOX OFFICE AT THEATER SQUARE 412-456-6666 GROUPS 10+ TICKETS 412-471-6930 24

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THE USE OF FOUND SOUNDS HARKENS BACK TO TAPE-COLLAGE ARTISTS OF THE ’80S. rest of the time, Opie manipulates a laptop and tablet, creating synthesizer noises and disembodied voices which get alternately sped up and crumpled within the soundscape. This use of found sounds harkens back to tape-collage artists of the ’80s, when the randomness of the sampling was half the fun for listener and performer. Wulff’s clean guitar-picking adds some structure to the scene, with icy melodies hanging in the air, occasionally shifting toward a countrified twang.

Throckmorton, who normally expands the possibilities of what will fit within a set tempo, keeps things loose and uses his kit to color the scenery. Occasionally, the three do break into a free frenzy (“Eventide”), but more often 15728 feels like a soundtrack to a strange dream.

Things don’t always move forward, but sometimes it’s better to stay in place and enjoy the ambience. This disc coincides with the release of Concerto for Orkestra, Opie’s large-scale composition for a 14-piece ensemble, which was recorded last year at the Kelly-Strayhorn Theater.

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

SOUND/UNSOUND 8 p.m. Sat. June 10.

Space Upstairs, 214 N. Lexington St., Point Breeze. $10. 412-225-9269

{PHOTO COURTESY OF PAUL NATKIN}

Selwyn Birchwood

ROAD TESTED {BY BILL KOPP} GUITARIST Selwyn Birchwood’s fourth and latest album, Pick Your Poison, is his most fully realized release to date. Based in the blues idiom, it draws from gospel, soul and R&B. “There are a lot of different shades of blue,” he tells City Paper in a recent phone interview. “And I like them all.”

At 32, Birchwood is already an established journeyman musician.

Birchwood was only 19 when he joined prolific Texas bluesman Sonny Rhodes’ band. He had only picked up the guitar six years earlier, but his combination of natural talent and dedication made him road-ready soon enough. Still, Birchwood admits that touring with Rhodes was a challenge. “I got thrown in the water with no floaties,” he says.

The very first leg of the tour was 86 hours long, and involved traveling between shows in Birchwood’s hometown of Orlando, Fla., and dates in Calgary, Alberta. “And then we continued on with a Canadian tour from there,” Birchwood recalls. “I got broken in really quickly. I learned what it was to be a band leader, how to run a band and how to travel.” Birchwood stayed with Rhodes for five years before venturing out on a career of his own.

Birchwood’s debut album was 2011’s self-released FL Boy; he followed that set with another self-release in 2013, Road Worn. All the while, he toured regularly, and the buzz continued to build about this impressive blues guitarist and songwriter.

In 2013, Birchwood won the prestigious and highly competitive International Blues Challenge. “That was actually my third

time competing in Memphis,” he recalls.

“We made the finals the year before, so I said, ‘Why not try one more time?’”

The guitarist’s years playing in front of audiences helped prepare him for the nerve-wracking competition, but that previous experience could only take him so far. “It’s one thing to know that people are judging you every time you step out onto a stage,” he says, “but it’s another thing to look out and see people with a pen and paper staring at you.” Birchwood says that the Blues Challenge win was a springboard to get him and his band into the public eye.

“And we haven’t stopped since,” he says.

SELWYN BIRCHWOOD BAND 8 p.m. Sat., June 12. Moondog’s, 378 Freeport Road, Blawnox. $15.

412-828-2040 or www.moondogs.us

Shortly after that win, blues label Alligator Records signed Birchwood to a deal. His first release for Alligator was 2014’s Don’t Call No Ambulance. That album caught on in a big way with the blues community. Even though he already had hundreds of live shows and three albums to his credit, Selwyn Birchwood was the 2015 recipient of the Blues Foundation’s Best New Artist award.

The guitarist laughs when asked if he found it odd to be called a “new” artist after having played the guitar for more than half of his life. “I never really thought about that,” he says. He doesn’t mind the label, but he does take issue with the idea that he’s some kind of overnight success. “Man, it’s been overnight for several nights, for several years,” he says.

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CRITICS’ PICKS

ADORNING YOUR BODY, TABLE & BED

SATURDAY, JUNE 24TH

“PURSUIT” STEAVKIM.COM

Electric Guest

ART & LIVE MUSIC FOR THE INTRIGUED… [POP] + FRI., JUNE 09

{PHOTO COURTESY OF PETER GANNUSHKIN}

3401 BUTLER ST, 15201 | LUXURY INTIMATE APPAREL | TABLE ART | CUSTMIZED BEDDING

There’s a good chance you’ve heard Electric Guest on TV. The band’s 2012 song “This Head I Hold” has appeared in at least three commercials — apparently marketing directors have good taste in music. After a four-year break following its debut, the pop duo of Asa Taccone and Matthew Compton released its latest album, Plural. It has tracks like the sweet ’n’ synthy “Dear to Me,” the music video for which features some heartwarming love stories and recognizable faces.

Electric Guest is joined at Cattivo

by EDM-adjacent pop act Rozes.

Hannah Lynn 7 p.m. 146 44th St., Lawrenceville. $12-14. 412-6872157 or www. cattivopgh.com

[JAZZ] + SAT., JUNE 10 It doesn’t take much for an artist to be political in a time when staying alive can be considered defiant, but Cat Toren is deliberate in her choices. The jazz pianist draws on the traditions of civil-rights-era jazz musicians like John Coltrane and Nina Simone in her latest project, Human Kind (a portion of the sales go to the ACLU). Songs like “Sanctuary City” fit right in at City of Asylum (and maybe one day will be a description of Pittsburgh), as Toren encourages listeners to “mobilize and organize.”

HL 8 p.m. 40 W. North Ave., North Side. Free.

412-435-1110 or www.alphabetcity.org

[ROCK] + SAT., JUNE 10 A lot of people are determined to fit each musical act into a single genre, but bands like

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Muddy Magnolias are determined to make it hard for them to do so. New Yorker Jessy Wilson and Mississippian Kallie North crossed paths in Nashville, making their blues/rock/country sound both distinct and wholly universal. Their varied but complementary voices can be appreciated on tracks such as “Brother, What Happened?” or the fast-paced “Devil’s Teeth.” If you listen to these women and don’t hear anything you like, then you just might not like music. Their summer tour is mostly festivals, so we’re lucky to have them at Mr. Smalls tonight.

HL 9 p.m. 400 Lincoln Ave., Millvale. $10-12.

412-821-4447 or www.mrsmalls.com

[ROCK] + WED., JUNE 14 The band hails from landlocked Tennessee, but all of Los Colognes’ music sounds refreshingly like Cat Toren the ocean — either diving into it, emerging from it or lying on the sand next to it.

The newest album, The Wave, gently rolls like one too, with breezy tracks like “Unspoken” and slower, darker ones like “Man Over Bored.” Fittingly, the group plays at Brillobox, which has a giant plastic shark mounted on the wall. Once the shark hears the music, it just might detach itself, shuffle up the stairs and start jamming out next to you.

Also playing is the Pittsburgh-based rock band The Redlines, which is known to mix in classics like “Goodnight Irene” with its own tracks.

This crew is decidedly less ocean-themed, but it doesn’t need to be — Pittsburgh’s got three rivers! HL 9:30 p.m. 4104 Penn Ave., Bloomfield. $10-12. 412-621-4900 or www.brilloboxpgh.com

Our First Shipment of Trees & Shrubs Have Arrived!

Cavacini Garden Center

Spring Has Sprung!

All Annual Flowers Have Arrived PETUNIAS • BEGONIAS • GERANIUMS You Must See Our Variety of Hanging Baskets, Perennials & Vegetable Plants OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK • DELIVERY SERVICE AVAILABLE 100 51st st STREET • L AWRENCE VILLE • 4126872010 Off Butler Street. Across from Goodwill.

LANDMARKS PRESERVATION RESOURCE CENTER - A program of the Pittsburgh History & Landmarks Foundation Foundation

THURSDAY, JUNE 15 • 6:00 PM – 8:00 PM LANDMARKS PRESERVATION RESOURCE CENTER

OPEN HOUSE & ART EXHIBIT Join us for an open house and art exhibit at the Landmarks Preservation Resource Center. Come learn more about the building and the programming we offer. Check out the sculptural garden and exterior hanging art pieces designed from pieces of Pittsburgh and Wilkinsburg’s industrial past.

Have an idea of a workshop, film screening or lecture you would like to see?

Tell us about it. We will also have brochures and other information about PHLF’s upcoming programs including city and specialized neighborhood walking tours. DVDs and Blu-ray discs of the award-winning documentary, Through The Place, will be available for purchase.

The documentary profiles the story of historic preservation in America as reflected through preservation accomplishments in Pittsburgh.

Longtime Pittsburgh artist, ceramist, and sculptor, James Shipman, whose studio and gallery space is housed in the back third of the building, will be on hand to showcase, and explain his art work including various art pieces, which will be on sale.

Come learn more about PHLF, our work in Wilkinsburg, and enjoy great art.

Snacks and light refreshments will be served.

THIS EVENT IS FREE AND OPEN TO THE PUBLIC. RSVPS ARE APPRECIATED: MARYLU@PHLF.ORG OR 412-471-5808 EXT 527.

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FEATURED MUSIC 6/7 6/8

SEAN ROWE + BIRDS OF CHICAGO BEATS + BARS featuring Choo Jackson, HollyHood, Billy Pilgrim, Pirate Gang, Track Meet, Hubbs, + DJ Selecta

6/9 DAWES + The Accidentals 6/10 SARAH JAROSZ + FRUITION 6/11 ST. PAUL AND THE BROKEN BONES + The Commonheart

LAST CHANCE TO SEE PUBLIC ART! TIDAL

UMBRELLA SKY PROJECT

Lead Artist: Shilo Shiv Suleman

TRUSTARTS.ORG/TRAF #TRAF17 28

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

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DON'T MISS THE

7TH ANNUAL PJLIF

JUNE 16-18 2017

JAZZLIVE PUB CRAWL JAM SESSIONS ARTIST BOOTHS FOOD TRUCKS CRAFT BEER

FEATURED ARTISTS

Roy Ayers, Angelique Kidjo, David Sanborn Electric Band, Hudson-Jack DeJohnette, John Scofield, John Medeski, Larry Grenadier, Odean Pope Sax Orchestra, The Bad Plus, Spanish Harlem Orchestra, Chico Freeman Plus+tet, Sean Jones Quartet, Tia Fuller Quartet, Linda May Han Oh Quartet, Shirazette Tinnin & the Sonic Wallpaper, Jazzmeia Horn

TRUSTARTS.ORG/JAZZLIVEFEST NEWS

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diesel C LU B | LO U N G E

UPCOMING CONCERTS

TO SUBMIT A LISTING: HTTP://PGHCITYPAPER.COM/HAPPENINGS {ALL LISTINGS MUST BE SUBMITTED BY 9 A.M. FRIDAY PRIOR TO PUBLICATION}

6/9 | 7:00 PM | AA

ROCK/POP THU 08 6/ 13 | 7:00 PM | AA

alleghenycounty.us/summer

6/20 | 7:00 PM | AA

6/22 6/2 2 | 7:00 7 : 0 0 PM P M | AA

June 9

FRI 09

Tamburitzans

OF “THE PLOT IN YOU” 6/24 | 7:00 PM | AA

(Eastern European Folk Music & Dance)

6/29 | 7:00 PM | AA

June 11

River City Brass Band (Classical/Pops/Jazz)

7/ 1 | 7:00 PM | AA

v I B RO K InG S

20TH ANNIVERSARY/REUNION SHOW 7/8 | 7 : 0 0 P M | 2 1 +

All concerts are free and begin at 7:30 p.m. unless otherwise noted.

7/ 13 | 7 : 0 0 P M | 1 8+

7/ 14 | 7:00 PM | AA

Food trucks and Hop Farm Brewing Company craft beer at all concerts beginning at 6:00 p.m.

7/20 | 7:00 PM | AA 8/3 | 7:00 PM | AA

FAREWELL TO RACHEL B SHOW

3WS

8 /2 5 | 7 : 0 0 P M | 2 1 +

for tickets visit DIESELPGH.COM or Dave’s Music Mine (southside) 1801 e. carson st | pittsburgh |412.481.8800

30

CLUB CAFE. Chillent w/ Manic Soul. 7 p.m. South Side.

412-431-4950.

HOWLERS. The Whiskey Gentry, Mickey & The Snake Oil Boys, Devil’s Holler. 9 p.m.

Bloomfield. 412-682-0320.

JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE. MEM3. 8 p.m. Warrendale.

724-799-8333.

STAGE AE. Wilco. 6:30 p.m.

North Side. 412-229-5483.

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

06.07/06.14.2017

CLUB CAFE. L.O.S. 6 p.m.

South Side. 412-431-4950.

DIESEL. September Mourning w/ The Art of Burning Bridges & Divine Tragedy. 7 p.m.

South Side. 412-431-8800.

HAMBONE’S. Ben Carr. 8 p.m.

Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318.

JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE. Dancing Queen. 9 p.m.

Warrendale. 724-799-8333.

MOONDOG’S. Three Car Garage. 9 p.m. Blawnox.

412-828-2040.

MR. SMALLS THEATER. Trashbag Parachute, Offkilter, The Wildflowers, The Book Club & more. 6:30 p.m.

Millvale. 412-821-4447.

NIED’S HOTEL. The Rockers.

8 p.m. Lawrenceville.

412-781-9853.

POINT STATE PARK. Dawes, IT IT & The Accidentals.

Three Rivers Arts Festival. 12 p.m.

Downtown. 412.456.6666.

THE R BAR. High Road Easy.

9:30 p.m. Dormont. 412-942-0882.

TAVERN IN THE WALL. Peter King & his Band of Fast Friends. 9 p.m. Aspinwall.

412-782-6542.

SUN 11 CLUB CAFE. Mephiskapheles.

7 p.m. South Side. 412-431-4950.

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. The Petals w/ Leslie Addis & Elliot Sheedy.

Speakeasy. 7 p.m. North Side.

412-904-3335.

THE R BAR. Billy The Kid & the Regulators. 6 p.m. Dormont.

412-942-0882.

TUE 13 CATTIVO. Ghost Note w/ Starship Mantis. 8 p.m.

Lawrenceville. 412-381-6811.

CLUB CAFE. All Them Witches.

7 p.m. South Side. 412-431-4950.

DIESEL. The Orphan The Poet.

7 p.m. South Side. 412-431-8800.

HOWLERS. Gland, Dumplings & Brazilian Wax. 9:15 p.m.

Bloomfield. 412-682-0320.

JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE. Silent Partner. 7:30 p.m.

Warrendale. 724-799-8333.

WED 14 CLUB CAFE. All Them Witches. 7 p.m. South Side.

412-431-4950.

JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE. Millgrove Crossing. 8 p.m.

Warrendale. 724-799-8333.

MR. SMALLS THEATER. James Vincent McMorrow.

7 p.m. Millvale. 412-821-4447.

DJS THU 08 MR. SMALLS THEATER. Centrifuge Thursdays. At the Funhouse. 9 p.m. Millvale.

412-821-4447.

PERLE CHAMPAGNE BAR. Bobby D Bachata. 10 p.m.

Downtown. 412-471-2058.

FRI 09 ANDYS WINE BAR. DJ Malls Spins Vinyl. 5 p.m.

Downtown. 412-773-8884.

MP 3 MONDAY HOST SKULL

SAT 10 BAJA BAR AND GRILL. Nieds Hotel Band. 8 p.m. Fox Chapel.

412-963-0640.

CLUB CAFE. Joe Grushecky & the Houserockers. 8 p.m.

South Side. 412-431-4950.

DOWNEY’S HOUSE. Billy The Kid. 8:30 p.m. Robinson. 412-489-5631.

THE HOB NOB LOUNGE. King’s Ransom. 9 p.m.

West Mifflin. 412-461-8541.

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Devin Moses & The Saved w/ Different Places In SPACE & George Morris. Ballroom. 7 p.m.

North Side. 412-904-3335.

JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE. Totally 80s. 9 p.m. Warrendale.

724-799-8333.

THE LAMP THEATRE. Mr. Speed: The Worlds Greatest Kiss Tribute Band. 8 p.m. Irwin.

724-367-4000.

MUSIC TO MY EAR. Amanda Hertweck w/ Ian Arthurs.

12:30 p.m. Ross. 412-223-9747.

Each week, we post a song from a local artist online for free. This week, it’s the latest from Host Skull, the duo of David Bernabo and Will Dyar. “Form Destroyer,” from their forthcoming Destruction (out July 14), is typically heady stuff for these two, but, as always, it’s an engaging and satisfying listen.

Stay tuned for more on that album when it’s out. Stream or download it at FFW>>, the music blog at www.pghcitypaper.com.

HEAVY ROTATION These are four songs that City Paper music writer Meg Fair can’t stop listening to:

WED 14

WED 14

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Paper Bird w/ The Armadillos. Ballroom. 7 p.m.

North Side. 412-904-3335.

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Clint Bleil Quartet.

Speakeasy. 7 p.m. North Side.

412-904-3335.

RIVERS CLUB. Jessica Lee & Friends. Second Wed. of every month, 5:30 p.m. Downtown.

412-391-5227.

JAZZ THU 08 JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Roger Humphries Jam Session. Ballroom. 8 p.m.

North Side. 412-904-3335.

RILEY’S POUR HOUSE. Lucarelli Jazz. 8 p.m. Carnegie.

412-279-0770.

VALLOZZI’S PITTSBURGH. Eric Johnson. 5:30 p.m.

Downtown. 412-394-3400.

Tegan and Sara

“U-Turn” Shamir

“On the Regular”

That Dog

“She Looks at Me”

Julien Baker

“Everybody Does”

ACOUSTIC CRANBERRY SPORTS BAR & GRILLE. Right TurnClyde. 7 p.m.

Cranberry. 724-776-5500.

RUMFISH GRILLE. Eclectic Acoustics. 6:30 p.m. Bridgeville.

412-914-8013.

FRI 09

SAT 10

ANDORA RESTAURANT FOX CHAPEL. Pianist Harry Cardillo & vocalist Charlie Sanders. 6:30 p.m. Fox Chapel.

412-967-1900.

CITY OF ASYLUM @ ALPHABET CITY. James Johnson III Group. 8 p.m. North Side.

412-435-1110.

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Jimmy Sapienza’s Five Guys Named Moe. Speakeasy.

6 p.m. North Side. 412-904-3335.

LA CASA NARCISI. Erin Burkett, Virgil Walters, Max Leake & Mile Tomaro. 6 p.m. Gibsonia.

724-444-4744.

ARSENAL CIDER HOUSE & WINE CELLAR. Right TurnClyde. 5 p.m.

Lawrenceville. 412-260-6968.

BAKERY SQUARE. Right TurnClyde. 12 p.m. Larimer.

VINES. Eclectic Acoustics. 7 p.m.

Mars. 724-742-0860.

SUN 11 BAJA BAR AND GRILL. The Vagrants. 12 p.m. Fox Chapel.

412-963-0640.

HAMBONE’S. Ukulele Jam. Second Sun. of every month. Lawrenceville.

412-681-4318.

WED 14 ALLEGHENY ELKS LODGE #339.

Pittsburgh Banjo Club. 8 p.m.

North Side. 412-321-1834.

BELVEDERE’S. Lazercrunk.

10 p.m. Lawrenceville.

412-687-2555.

THE FLATS ON CARSON. Pete Butta. 10 p.m. South Side.

412-586-7644.

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. PLAY. Speakeasy. 10 p.m. Downtempo & Ambient. 9 p.m. Ballroom.

North Side. 412-904-3335.

ONE 10 LOUNGE. DJ Goodnight, DJ Rojo. 9 p.m. Downtown.

412-874-4582.

ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance. 10 p.m. South Side.

412-431-2825.

RUGGER’S PUB. 80s Night w/ DJ Connor. 9 p.m.

South Side. 412-381-1330.

TUE 13

SAT 10

FRI 09

DIESEL. DJ CK. 10 p.m.

South Side. 412-431-8800.

LINDEN GROVE. DJ Tim. 9 p.m. Castle Shannon.

412-882-8687.

PERLE CHAMPAGNE BAR. DJ Tenova. ladies night. 9 p.m.

Downtown. 412-471-2058.

REMEDY. Feeling Without Touching. Second Sat. of every month, 10 p.m. Lawrenceville.

412-781-6771.

RIVERS CASINO. Artistree.

8:30 p.m. North Side.

412-231-7777.

ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance. 10 p.m. South Side.

412-431-2825.

NEWS

CIOPPINO SEAFOOD CHOPHOUSE BAR. Roger Barbour Band. 7 p.m.

Strip District. 412-281-6593.

CITY OF ASYLUM @ ALPHABET CITY. Cat Toren’s Human Kind.

8 p.m. North Side. 412-435-1110.

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Tony Campbell Jam Session. 5 p.m. North Side.

412-904-3335.

THE MONROEVILLE RACQUET CLUB. Jazz Bean Live. 7 p.m.

Monroeville. 412-728-4155.

THE SPACE UPSTAIRS. Second Saturdays. Jazz-happening series feat. live music, multimedia experimentations, more. Hosted

by The Pillow Project. Second Sat. of every month, 8 p.m.

Point Breeze. 412-225-9269.

THE GOLDMARK. Pete Butta.

Reggae & dancehall. 10 p.m.

Lawrenceville. 412-688-8820.

WED 14 SMILING MOOSE. Rock Star Karaoke w/ T-MONEY. 9:30 p.m. South Side.

412-431-4668.

HIP HOP/R&B FRI 09 CLUB CAFE. Funkle Aaron Project. 10 p.m.

South Side. 412-431-4950.

BAJA BAR AND GRILL. Tony Janflone Jr. Band.

8 p.m. Fox Chapel.

412-963-0640.

FRI 09

THU 08 PIRATA. The Flow Band. 9 p.m.

Downtown. 412-323-3000.

THE PUB AT 333. Ras Prophet.

6:30 p.m. Oakmont. 412-794-8904.

SUN 11 BAJA BAR AND GRILL. Buffetman & the Fruitcakes.

5 p.m. Fox Chapel. 412-963-0640.

CLASSICAL FRI 09 TCHAIKOVSKY’S FIRST PIANO CONCERT. 8 p.m. Heinz Hall, Downtown. 412-392-4900.

SUN 11

BLACK FORGE COFFEE HOUSE. Skeletonized, Xylen Roberts, Johnny Jitters & Qancel. 7 p.m. Knoxville.

412-291-8994.

RIVERS CASINO. Michael Christopher. 9 p.m.

Nick Fiasco. 9 p.m. North Side.

412-231-7777.

STAGE AE. CLUBHOUSE w/ Liberty Deep Down. 7:30 p.m.

North Side. 412-229-5483.

SAT 10 JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Travlin’. 8 p.m. North Side.

412-904-3335.

RIVERS CASINO. Kevin Howard Trio. 9 p.m. North Side.

412-231-7777.

TCHAIKOVSKY’S FIRST PIANO CONCERT. 2:30 p.m. Heinz Hall, Downtown. 412-392-4900.

SUN 11

WED 14

TUE 13

MASH-UP MIX-DOWN FEAT. TIME FOR THREE. 6;30 p.m. Heinz Hall, Downtown. 412-392-4900.

STAGE AE. Barns Courtney.

7 p.m. North Side.

412-229-5483.

OTHER MUSIC

WED 14

THU 08 LINDEN GROVE. Karaoke. 8 p.m.

STAGE AE. Russ. 6 p.m.

North Side. 412-229-5483.

STAGE AE. Rainbow Kitten Surprise. 7 p.m. North Side.

412-229-5483.

paper pghcitym .co

Hall, Howie Alexander & Dennis Garner.

7 p.m. McKees Rocks.

412-875-5809.

MON 12

SAT 10 EXCUSES BAR & GRILL. Bill Toms & Hard Rain. 9 p.m.

South Side. 412-431-4090.

MOONDOG’S. Selwyn Birchwood. 8:30 p.m. Blawnox.

412-828-2040.

HAMBONE’S. Ian Kane, Ronnie Weiss & Tom Boyce. Jazz Standards, showtunes & blues. 6:30 p.m.

Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318.

JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE. RML Jazz. 7 p.m. Warrendale.

724-799-8333.

SUN 11

TUE 13

THE R BAR. Billy The Kid’s American All-Stars. 7 p.m.

Dormont. 412-942-0882.

MUSIC

REGGAE

SUN 11 FULL ROCKS LANDING T IS L BAR & GRILLE. E IN ONwLww. Tony Campbell, John

BLUES

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Castle Shannon. 412-882-8687.

RIVERS CASINO. Bon Journey Acoustic Trio. 7 p.m. North Side.

412-231-7777.

SAT 10

FRI 09

SAT 10

PARK HOUSE. Shelf Life String Band.

9 p.m. North Side. 412-224-2273.

WHEELFISH. Jason Born. 7 p.m.

Ross. 412-487-8909.

RILEY’S POUR HOUSE. Jazz Happy Hour w/ Martin Rosenberg.

5:30 p.m. Carnegie. 412-279-0770.

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What to do IN PITTSBURGH

June 7-13

412-381-1681. With special guests Gab Bonesso & John Dick Winters. Over 21 show.

Tickets: greyareaprod.com.

8:30p.m.

Dollar Bank Three Rivers Arts Festival

VARIOUS LOCATIONS Downtown. Free event.

For schedules and more info visit traf.trustarts.org.

Through June 11.

FRIDAY 95

Tchaikovsky’s First Piano Concerto

Play N’at CITY OF ASYLUM North Side.

412-435-1110.

Free event. RSVP at pittsburgh symphony.org. 8p.m.

U2

24Hrs

REX THEATER South Side.

412-381-1681. With special guest Isaiah Small & NVSV. All ages show.

Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 8p.m.

TUESDAY 13 Elvis Costello & the Imposters

HEINZ HALL Downtown.

412-392-4900.

Tickets: pittsburghsymphony. org. 7p.m.

SATURDAY 10

Toto

CATurday

THURSDAY 8 Wilco

STAGE AE North Side. With special guest Kacy & Clayton.

Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 1-800-745-3000. Doors open at 6:30p.m.

REX THEATER South Side.

Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers

CARNEGIE MUSEUM OF ART Oakland. For more info visit cmoa.org/summerbreak.

10a.m.

Feed More Festival STAGE AE North Side.

With special guests The Naked & The Famous, Max Frost, Joy Ike & more.

CARNEGIE LIBRARY OF PITTSBURGH

17TH ANNUAL SUMMER READING presented by

Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 1-800-745-3000. Doors open at 2p.m.

Ugly Blondes, John Wayne Gretzky, Blithehound & more MR. SMALLS THEATRE Millvale. 412-421-4447.

All age show.

Tickets: ticketweb.com/opus one. 7p.m.

SUNDAY 11

2017 Tony Awards Viewing Party CABARET AT THEATER SQUARE Downtown.

412-456-6666.

Tickets: trustarts.org. 7p.m.

Zac Brown Band KEYBANK PAVILION Burgettstown. With special guest Darrell Scott.

Tickets: livenation.com. 7p.m.

Russ STAGE AE North Side.

SUNDAY, JUNE 11 12 – 5 pm

carnegielibrary.org/summer PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

06.07/06.14.2017

THE PALACE THEATRE Greensburg. 724-836-8000.

All ages show.

Tickets: thepalacetheatre.org.

7:30p.m.

Hall & Oates and Tears for Fears PPG PAINTS ARENA Downtown.

Tickets: livenation.com. 7p.m.

Kick off Summer Reading !

CLP – Main, Oakland 4400 Forbes Avenue, 15213

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Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 1-800-745-3000.

Doors open at 6p.m.

MONDAY 12

PPG PAINTS ARENA Downtown.

With special guest Joe Walsh.

Tickets: livenation.com. 8p.m.

HEINZ FIELD North Side.

With special guest The Lumineers.

Tickets: livenation.com.

6:30p.m.

Brian Posehn

HEINZ HALL Downtown.

412-392-4900.

Tickets: pittsburghsymphony. org. Through June 11.

DOLLAR BANK THREE RIVERS ARTS FESTIVAL NOW THROUGH JUNE 11

© THE PITTSBURGH CULTURAL TRUST

WEDNESDAY 7

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[DANCE]

“THERE’S SO MANY WAYS AND REASONS TO RUN OUT OF STEAM.”

STILL DANCING {BY STEVE SUCATO}

SAT., JUNE 10 (Noon-5 p.m.)

STAYCEE PEARL dance project presents excerpts from its house-music/club-sceneinspired work, FLOWERZ. Then get ready for The Pillow Projects’ “Fast and Loose,” a jazzed stylization of early Quentin Tarantino movies crossed with a Cowboy Bebop anime flair danced to music by Japanese space jazz band The Seatbelts. And dancer/choreographer Moriah Ella Mason previews her upcoming one-woman show in an excerpt from Sex Werque, about her experiences working in the sex industry.

Recently resurfacing after a 20-year hiatus, Nick M. Daniel’s DANA Movement Ensemble 2.0 presents “As I Fly,” an excerpt from its current work-in-progress, Take my Hand ... I am here, inspired by the ascension to heaven. Rounding out Saturday’s showcase is The Blanket, presenting three works including choreographer Lindsay Fisher’s duet “View From Inside” (2017), Rubén Graciani’s “Why Then Should I Be Afraid” (2014), and a new solo by John DeNeff and Matt Pardo and performed by DeNeff.

SUN., JUNE 11 (1–5 p.m.)

Texture Contemporary Ballet returns for another year with several music-inspired ballets from its repertory, including excerpts from associate artistic director Kelsey Bartman’s “Full Circle” (2016), a ballet for six dancers set to music by Half Moon Run, and 2014’s “Fun.” Also being performed are two excerpts from Bartman and artistic director Alan Obuzor’s 2016 Adele-scored ballet, “Laurie Blue.” Then, using songs from its recently released MISC Records album “body,” slowdanger will perform “body, my body,” a trio exploring the corporeal nature of being.

Trevor C. Dance Collective will show excerpts from its most recent version of BRAVE, a piece confronting systemic racism and championing LGBTQIA+ rights. Also celebrating the LGBTQIA+ community and its performers will be LaMar Williams Jr.’s vogue ensemble kNOwSHADE’s multi-part presentation that will begin with a dance flash mob. Also in Sunday’s showcase will be works by former Diavolo dancer Weylin Gomez and Attack Theatre’s Anthony Williams.

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

PITTSBURGH PRIDEFEST 2017 DANCE SHOWCASE Noon-5 p.m., Sat., June 10, and 1-5 p.m., Sun., June 11. Liberty Avenue at Sixth and 10th streets, Downtown. Free. www.pittsburghpride.org

34

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

Ru Emmons of slowdanger {PHOTO COURTESY OF ALISON SACRIPONTE}

Year nine of Pittsburgh PrideFest’s annual free dance showcase, curated by Richard Parsakian, sees an expansion to two days of stylistically diverse performances by local dance artists. It takes place June 10 and 11 on two Downtown stages along Liberty Avenue, at Sixth and 10th streets.

Here’s a look at each day’s offerings (subject to change):

{PHOTO COURTESY OF JEFF MERMELSTEIN}

Jonathan Safran Foer

[BOOKS]

WHEREVER YOU GO,

HERE I AM {BY JAMES LANIGAN}

T

HERE IS AN old Jewish story about two children who are playing hide and seek. One boy hides, but after a time the other stops looking for him. Angry and disappointed, the first boy runs to his grandfather to complain. “This is God’s complaint as well,” his grandfather tells him. “‘I hide but nobody looks for me.’”

Parables like this one came to mind when I spoke with Jonathan Safran Foer about his 2016 novel, Here I Am. Foer’s protagonists have consistently shared a theme of being in some way lost (or having lost something) and quelling their anxiety through searching. Here I Am is a novel with characters who are looking for

06.07/06.14.2017

something, but its maturity reflects how much harder the game becomes when you’re an adult.

JONATHAN SAFRAN FOER 7 p.m. Fri., June 9. Carnegie Lecture Hall, 4400 Forbes Ave., Oakland. $10-22. www.pittsburghlectures.org

The title is taken from the biblical account of Abraham, who says the phrase twice: once when he is called upon by God to sacrifice his son Isaac, and again when the angel stops Abraham when the knife is in his hand. Because of his willingness

to sacrifice his only and beloved son, Abraham is forever revered for his faith.

Isaac’s son was named Jacob, also the name of Foer’s protagonist in Here I Am. Jacob has three sons and a failing marriage.

He has a difficult relationship with his own father, Irv. Like Foer’s other two novels, Everything Is Illuminated (2002) and Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (2005), Here I Am is a story about fathers and sons. However, where the previous two were about sons looking for their fathers and grandfathers, Here I Am focuses on what it is to be a father who’s not yet found. Foer’s protagonist is still searching, but for what? Or for who? The clues are as elusive as whatever it is he’s looking for.

[COMICS]

DRAWN IN {BY MATT PETRAS}

Comics students {PHOTO COURTESY OF JUAN FERNANDEZ}

Foer, who speaks here June 7 courtesy of Pittsburgh Arts & Lectures, doesn’t himself have the answers; whatever search he’s set his characters on, it’s a sincere one. “I work hard to keep my process open to what will come: intuitions, things that might seem inefficient, or might seem like distractions at the time,” says Foer, 40, speaking by phone from his home in Brooklyn. “There really isn’t anything that I either wanted it to be about or for people to take away.”

The matured subject matter perhaps reflects happenings in Foer’s own life. In the time since the publication of Extremely Loud, he has become a father and a husband. Professionally, he’s now a writer-inresidence at New York University where he teaches creative writing. He says that his students provide him with inspiration, and the experience of teaching leads him to reflect on his own craft. One of the things he teaches his students is to be open: to discover things in their writing. A writer’s process is, essentially, a constant state of searching: for the right word, the right m o t iva t i o n , t h e right subject, the right thing that a character might do or say. It is this process of discovery that seems to impel him as a storyteller. “There’s no argument that I have to make,” he said. “There’s no characters that are living inside me that I want to share, there’s no story that I have to tell, there’s no voice that I’ve found … just a kind of pressure, inside, that I want relieved.”

In the past, Foer’s characters found some form of what they were looking for.

But Here I Am is much more about the searching than the finding. It is a story where big and small crises compete with and contradict one another: Jacob tries to plan his son Sam’s bar mitzvah; the state of Israel is threatened by disasters; the family dog is dying. For Jacob, faith and sacrifice are part of the problems of fatherhood, marriage and being Jewish (the novel’s teaser asks readers if they would be willing to sacrifice themselves for these things).

“There’s so many ways and reasons to run out of steam, to doubt, to want to give up,” says Foer. “What will it be that keeps you going? Keeps you caring?” Foer’s characters have to search for this, too. It’s a journey that makes them angry and disappointed, but they can’t find what they don’t go searching for.

The ToonSeum is expanding its comicseducation programming for kids and teens with The ToonSeum Comics Club.

“We want to teach the next generation of cartoonists how to draw and perfect their craft,” says ToonSeum executive director John Kelly.

To date, ToonSeum’s educational sessions were intermittent and often linked to events, like the Pittsburgh Indie Comics Expo. The new program, planned to start this summer, will run year-round.

Workshops will generally be held weekly, in six-week blocks.

Classes will be on Saturdays from 9-10:30 a.m., and sign-ups are now open for two sessions.

The first session, for teens aged 13-17, is set for June 24July 29. This session will cost $200, and will be taught by Juan Fernandez.

Spots are available for 10 students.

From Aug. 5-26, there will be a four-day session for kids aged 7-12, taught by Sally Ingraham. The 15 spots cost $150 each.

Kelly is confident in his teachers, both of whom have already taught cartooning to kids at the Downtown museum of comics art. He believes the museum is onto something important given today’s climate, in which “there’s been a move away from fine arts in school curriculums.”

The ToonSeum is looking for $20,000 to finance this new project through crowdfunding website Generosity, a subsidiary of Indiegogo. There is no deadline, because unlike most crowdfunding websites, Generosity doesn’t require them.

“Your donations will provide funding for teacher salaries, supplies for the students, instructional materials and equipment for the workshops,” according to the webpage.

ToonSeum is offering rewards for donors depending on how much they give. From $1 to $1,000, donors will receive rewards like posters, signed comics, tours and more. More rewards will be added over time, says Kelly.

The ToonSeum gift shop will offer art supplies applicable to the classes, which Kelly believes will be helpful for parents.

“It can be confusing for a parent to walk into an art store,” he said.

Kelly thinks that, because of the success of past teaching sessions, there will be demand for the program.

“Part of the reason we’re doing this is we’ve had people coming in and asking, ‘When is the next session?’” Kelly said.

More information about the classes is available at www.toonseum.org. The crowdfunding campaign can be accessed through www.generosity.com.

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The cast of Lotto, at New Horizon Theater

YOU R N IGHT. YOU DECI DE. 8PM $25 9PM

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JUNE 24, 2017 AUGUST WILSON CENTER 412-456-6666 BOX OFFICE AT THEATER SQUARE

ALL OF THE ABOVE. ALL NIGHT.

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[PLAY REVIEWS]

WINNING TICKET {BY MICHELLE PILECKI} WHILE THERE are many reasons to catch

New Horizon Theater’s production of Lotto: Experience the Dream, the biggest is the chance to see local leading lady Chrystal Bates in all her glory. Her character, a combination of sexy mama and common-sense matriarch, gives full rein to Bates’ range and talents.

The 1991 comedy, written by the late Cliff Roquemore and adapted/updated by his son Bryan, concerns (no surprise) a family upended by a winning lottery ticket. The first act introduces us to the Benson family, headed by Horace (Kevin Brown), a hardworking employee of the Pittsburgh Water & Sewer Authority, trying to assert his own authority over his three adult children, a querulous sister and his loving and muchloved wife (Bates). Each has a dream.

occasionally surreal end to Act I, that he has won $99 million.

New Horizon guest director Eileen J. Morris, artistic director of the Ensemble Theatre in Houston (where she directed Lotto in 2011), paces the sometimes frenetic comedy expertly, and respects the family without cheap sentimentality. She makes the most of her cast. Brown croons heartmelting soul classics. Rice captures the moves of rap. Payne is hilarious as a pain.

Let’s not forget the rest of the ensemble: Charles Timbers Jr. as Horace’s devoted coworker and friend; Art Terry as a semireliable thug; Ian Insect as the nerdly white guy in love with Nett; and, most especially, the surprise appearance of local stage favorite Jonathan Berry. The design and tech crews give their best.

Hilarious and heartwarming, Lotto mixes physical comedy and amusing references to black American culture for an experience worth enjoying.

I N F O@ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

LOTTO: EXPERIENCE THE DREAM continues through Sun., June 11.

New Horizon Theater at the Carnegie Library of Pittsburgh — Homewood auditorium, 7101 Hamilton Ave., Homewood. $15-20. www.newhorizontheater.org

Elder son J.R. (Corey Lankford) conjures get-rich-quick schemes for wealth and success. Brother Spike (Sundiata Rice) raps about money. Daughter Nett (Cheryl Bates, daughter of Chrystal) wants to save the world. Aunt Mildred (Karla Payne) just wants an artificial leg so that she can leave her wheelchair. All that — and more — seems possible when Horace realizes in a tightly choreographed and

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HURT LOCKER {BY STUART SHEPPARD} JUST AS IT’S important in a restaurant never to blame the waiter for a mistake the chef has made, in the theater, one should never blame the actor for faults in the script. So I’ll separate my comments on 12 Peers Theater’s excellent production of Thom Pain, from the 2004 play itself, written by Will Eno. Thom Pain (subtitled “based on nothing”) is a one-man show, delivered as a stream-of-consciousness monologue that may or may not incorporate audience participation — depending on the audience.

Listening to it is kind of like listening to a Bob Dylan song from the 1960s. Not a lot happens, but you want to remember a lot of the lines.

Matt Henderson is vivifying as Thom Pain, and keeps the energy percolating for the duration of the 65-minute single act.

Henderson looks like Napoleon Dynamite in a business suit telling his life story at an AA meeting. Is he serious? Is he really angry? Should we respond to him when he addresses members of the audience individually? These are all wonderful questions which a critic shouldn’t answer.

But this is engaging, vibrant theater, well-directed by Vince Ventura. Experiencing the performance is like getting an injection of the alacrity that drama theorists like Antonin Artaud and Peter Brook crave.

However, as commentators have pointed out, the style of the text is very derivative of Samuel Beckett, and it often feels like a character from one of his works is saying the lines. Many are poetic: for example, an electrocuted dog “flew like some poorly thought-out bird.” While others are silly: “Love cankers all.” And there are so many cultural references — from Byron to the Beatles — that at times the piece almost drowns in its own cleverness.

THOM PAIN continues through June 18.

Studio Theater, Cathedral of Learning, 4400 Forbes Ave., Oakland. $20.

412-626-6784 or www.12peerstheater.org

But the play’s deepest flaw is its selfindulgent vulgarity. In addition to several gratuitous F-bombs, there are multiple instances of the C-word (shouted, crassly, at the audience).

Too bad Eno couldn’t have taken more of a lesson from Beckett who, when he invoked the harshest epithet in Waiting for Godot, used another C-word, “Critic!” Now that hurts.

{PHOTO COURTESY OF MATTHEW MURPHY}

Nick Spangler and the An American in Paris touring company

burgh CLO, is a much more embraceable montage of music and movement, a cross between a Broadway musical and a quotidian ballet. And there’s even some extra Ira and George to enjoy: Who could ask for anything more than “I’ve Got Rhythm,” “But Not For Me” and “The Man I Love”? ’S all wonderful enough.

Set in Paris, just after World War II, the story revolves around Jerry Mulligan (McGee Maddox), an American ex-GI painter in love with Lise (Sara Esty), a beautiful young French ballerina committed to Henri (Nick Spangler), whose family saved her during the Occupation. They work it out through song and dance, including the titular ballet — merely imagined, by Jerry, in the film, but real in the stage musical.

This iteration of American in Paris matters for its dance, and director Christopher Wheeldon’s Tony-winning choreography is fluid and occasionally spectacular, handsomely performed by the company’s capable cast. The four leads (including a charming Etai Benson as a sardonic love-

AN AMERICAN IN PARIS continues through Sun., June 11.

Benedum Center, 237 Seventh St., Downtown. $26-90. 412-456-6666 or www.trustarts.org

Lush video backdrops enhance the show’s gorgeous design, adding depth to the stage, and Craig Lucas’ book goes a little meta when Henri, who secretly sings in a café (his élite family would not approve), imagines a dazzling version of his rather clumsy cabaret act. The Gershwin tunes still got it, and the thin story is a little darker here than the movie’s, if not for long. More than ever, it’s the fidgety feet that make this truffle so sweet.

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THERE ARE TWO types of Gene Kelly fans:

Team Singin’ in the Rain, and Team An American in Paris. I’ve always run with the former, finding the latter to be an overly cute soufflé of a movie wrapped around a playlist of pop tunes by the Gershwin boyz — sort of a proto-Mamma Mia! — enriched by the peerless imagination and grace of its choreographer/star.

On stage, though, a touring version of An American in Paris, in town courtesy of PNC Broadway in Pittsburgh and PittsNEWS

sick composer/pianist with a gammy leg) all have standout moments, although Maddox, a ballet dancer by training, lacks Kelly’s taut muscularity — hardly a sin, but hard not to notice — and even his predecessor’s pleasant voice.

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FOR THE WEEK OF

06.08-06.15.17 Full events listed online at www.pghcitypaper.com The good news on this traditional weekend for celebrations of LGBTQ pride is that in Pittsburgh, there are more Pride events than ever — if partly because of ongoing disagreements about who best represents the LGBTQ community.

The most high-profile events remain those organized as part of the Delta Foundation’s long-running Pittsburgh Pride. These include June 9’s citywide Pub Crawl and outdoor Michael Jackson

{PHOTO COURTESY OF THE DELTA FOUNDATION}

Tribute Concert MJ Live!, Downtown, and June 10’s Pride in the Street concert Downtown, with headlining mega-diva Jennifer Hudson. PrideFest, the big, free, family-friendly street fair featuring live entertainment and more on Liberty Avenue, expands from one to two days, June 10 and 11, and this year includes a mobile zipline. On Sun., June 11, comes the Rise Up for Our Rights Rally, at noon at PPG Paints Arena, followed by the EQT Equality March. (See www. pittsburghpride.org for details.)

Critics say that the new corporate branding of the march, by oil-and-gas company EQT Corporation, betrays the grassroots origins of LGBTQ-pride events, and compounds their critique of Delta, a nonprofit whom they charge with marginalizing and exploiting black, brown and trans members of the community.

Thus, right after the EQT Equality March, you’ll have the option to join the People’s Pride March, which starts at Liberty and 11th Street and heads down Liberty. (See www.facebook.com “people’s pride march 2k17” for details.)

And new this year is the GLCC of Pittsburgh’s Penn OUT Loud/Smoke & Mirrors, a day-into-evening art show, gallery crawl and dance party on Fri., June 10. Starting at 3 p.m., enjoy art shows, live performances and more at a dozen-plus venues along Penn Avenue, from Bloomfield to East Liberty. Attractions include Queer PGH and Assemble’s queer craft market, and sets by dance troupe Project Silk and comedy outfit LGBTQ*Bert.

It all wraps at the Ace Hotel, with a Discoball Dance Party with bubble-pop DJs Kates Weeney and Stephanie Tsong.

Most Penn OUT Loud events are free; for details, see www.glccpgh.org.

{ART (DETAIL) BY RYAN LAMMIE}

^ Fri., June 9: Nice Painting

friday 06.09 EXHIBIT It’s not often you get a chance to swing through the Senator John Heinz History Center for free. But starting today, you can do it three days running (if you’re really all about it), courtesy of the Jack Buncher Foundation. The museum’s six floors include such permanent exhibits as the original set from Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, treasured Pittsburgh sports memorabilia, and the world’s oldest jeep. It’s also a chance to see #Pixburgh: A Photographic Experience, the museum’s display of local photos dating to the 1850s. And it’s the final three days for the trove of 80 paintings titled Gift of Art: 100 Years of Art From the Pittsburgh Public Schools’ Collection. Bill O’Driscoll 10 a.m.-5 p.m. daily. 1212 Smallman St., Strip District. Free through Sun., June 11. www.heinzhistorycenter.org

ART In making the works for his new solo exhibit, Pittsburgh-based artist Ryan Lammie started, as he often has, with domestic objects like transistor radios. But he departed from the typically monochromatic finishes of his previous work to try out layers of oil, plaster and other media for a variety of colors, textures

BY BILL O’DRISCOLL

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and treatments. Nice Painting, which also includes 2-D paintings, opens with a reception tonight at UnSmoke Systems.

BO 6-9 p.m. (free). Exhibit continues through June 28.

1137 Braddock Ave., Braddock. www.unsmokeartspace.com

saturday 06.10 ART Pennsylvania voted Republican for president in 1988 — and not again until November, when it helped put a cruel and ignorant political amateur into the Oval Office (not to editorialize). What this means for our self-image as Pennsylvanians is for all of us to ponder, including artists.

Tonight, Sweetwater Center for the Arts opens Turning Red, a group show investigating the changes to our political and social climate.

The 18 contributing artists in a variety of media include Alan Byrne, Christopher Boring and Patricia Hill.

BO Reception: 6-8 p.m. (free). Exhibit continues through July 29. 200 Broad St., Sewickley. 412-741-4405 or www.sweetwaterartcenter.org ^ Tue., June 13: Aatish Taseer

blogh.pghcitypaper.com

Clicking “reload” makes the workday go faster

{ART BY ALAN BYRNE}

^ Sat., June 10: Turning Red

ART Depending on whether you are reading this in print or online, you may be glued to your smartphone this very second. Humans Being, a show at Percolate Art Gallery, explores real-life human interaction in the midst of social-media obsession. “This exhibit asks that you free yourself from the chains of your phone, iPad and Facebook, and once against just ‘be’ with each other,” read press materials. The exhibit, whose opening reception is tonight, includes paintings by Tony Cavalline, John Eastman, Timothy Kelly, and Samir Elsabee. Matt Petras 6-8:30 p.m. Exhibit continues through July 1.

317 S. Trenton Ave., Wilkinsburg. 412-477-4540 or www.purplepierotti.com

ART The Art of Movement, an exhibition at The Westmoreland Museum of Art, brings together the work of three artists; one of them, Tim Prentice, is alive and was inspired by the work of the others, pioneering {ART BY TONY CAVILLINE} ^ Sat., June 10: Humans Being artists Alexander Calder and George Rickey. All three use(d) sculpture and art on paper to create mobiles: pieces that actually move, using “movement of air, not mechanical or electrical operating parts.”

Many of these works use suspended paper and other materials, activated as the air takes them. A 1 p.m. talk by Prentice today is followed by tonight’s opening reception. MP Reception: 6:30-8 p.m. 221 N. Main St., Greensburg. $10-15.

724-837-1500 or www.thewestmoreland.org

sunday 06.11 FESTIVAL

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The Carnegie Library of Pittsburgh’s annual Summer Reading Extravaganza is back for the 17th time, equipped with a series of activities and vendors to get kids into reading. Outside the library’s main branch, in Oakland, kids can decorate an Eat’n Park Smiley Cookie, listen to readings, watch live puppet shows, and play a variety of games. Food and, of course, books will be on sale, but the event is free for all to attend, with no need for registration. These yearly festivals are put together by more than 100 volunteers. MP Noon-5 p.m.

Free. 412-622-3114 or www.carnegielibrary.org

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EVERYONE IS A CRITIC

{ART BY TIM PRENTICE}

^ Sat., June 10: The Art of Movement

tuesday 06.13 WORDS The London- and Delhi, India-based author and journalist Aatish Taseer visits City of Asylum to read from his latest novel, The Way Things Were. Taseer’s CV includes bylines in publications like the Wall Street Journal as well as highly regarded fiction. The Way Things Were follows the interpersonal drama of a family in India, spanning the 1970s through the ’90s. “Taseer (already beloved, feted, the voice of his generation, et cetera) is a writer at the peak of his skill, giving the finger to hubris,” writes NPR’s Jason Sheehan.

MP 8 p.m. 40 W. North Ave., North Side. Free. 412-435-1110 or www.cityofasylum.org

EVENT:

Three Rivers Arts Festival, Downtown CRITIC:

Sandy Ferrainola, 62, a bookstore owner from Harmony

WHEN:

Fri., June 02

wednesday 06.14 TALK

I’m on vacation because it’s my birthday, so I’m [staying] in town for the birthday celebration. I love [the festival]. I go down to the Point because I love to see the river and the fountain and all that, and everything along the way. I bought some paintings from a young lady down that way. They’re awesome. All along here is interesting. I like a lot of the Pittsburgh art, you know, it’s nice to see local artists. But sometimes, every now and then, something pops out at me.

[What I bought] is so peaceful. I think Pittsburgh puts on a great event, and it’s in a lot of places around the city, so that’s good, it sort of gets you out and about.

You get to see a lot of other different venues that you may not go to if it weren’t for the art show promoting them.

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Pittsburgh Glass Center continues its Summer Lecture Series with talks by a quintet of presenters. The internationally known artists speaking tonight include Mexican-born, California- and Mexico-based brothers Jamex de la Torres and Einar de la Torres, who make contemporary art-glass sculptures and figures; glass g ; Italian g artisan Mauro Vianello; Texas-based kiln-formed-glass ass specialist Jean Fernandes; and d Czech-born, New Jersey-based sed sculptor and jeweler Pavel Novak. The free lectures, which h include informal discussions, continue ntinue weekly every Wednesday day through Aug. 9 except for July 12.

BO 6 p.m. 5472 2 Penn Ave., Friendship. ip. Free.

412-365-2145 or www. pittsburghglasscenter.org scenter.org

MUSIC At tonight’s season ason finale of Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra’s genre-blending nre-blending Fuse@PSO series, es, conductor Steve Hackman n welcomes special guests Time for Three.

The Philadelphia-based hia-based string trio — violinists iolinists Nick Kendall and nd Charles Yang and double ble bassist Ranaan Meyerr — are known globally y for mixing

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musical styles from classical to country, and have appeared on TV’s Dancing With The Stars. Tonight’s program at Heinz Hall, Mash-Up Mix-Down, finds Time for Three marrying Mahler to The Verve and Guns N’ Roses, Britney Spears to Vivaldi, Mozart to John Legend and “Eleanor Rigby,” and Henry Purcell to “Stairway to Heaven.” BO 6:30 p.m. 600 Penn Ave., Downtown. $30-35. 412-392-4900 or www.pittsburghsymphony.org

thursday 06.15 WORDS City of Asylum welcomes to Alphabet City three distinguished visiting poets. Robin Coste Lewis is poet laureate of Los Angeles and the winner of the 2015 National Book Award for her collection Voyage of the Sable Venus. The widely published Major Jackson has four collections to his name. And the venerable Haki Madhubuti, a veteran of the U.S. Army, civil-rights activism and the Black Arts Movement, has published collections including Don’t Cry, Scream. All three are current faculty members of African-American poetry collective Cave Canem. BO 7:30 p.m. 40 W. North Ave., North Side. Free. www.alphabetcity.org p y

COMEDY Pump and Dump isn’t what you think — unless you a already know that that’s what Colorado-based comedians Colorado Shayna Ferm Ferma and Tracy Tee call their nationally ttouring show that takes an irreverent look at motherhood. irrever As one o of their tuneful original songs g goes, “These are the lies that we tell ourselves: that babies are cheap, and a when they go to sleep, we’ll get shit s done.”

(Other numbers d include “Eat Your F-ing in Food.”)

With audience Foo games gam and more, the Band of Mothers tour hits the Improv tonight, for one Im night only.

BO 7:30 p.m. o 166 E. Bridge St., West Br Homestead.

Homestea $30. 412-462-5223 or www.pittsburgh.improv.com www.pi {PHOTO COURTESY OF PAUL JOYNER}

< Thu., June 15: Pump and Dump

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STUFFED BANANA PEPPERS WERE HOT, HOT, HOT

BUBBLE TIME {BY AL HOFF}

Extra-big straws for “bubbles” {CP PHOTO BY AL HOFF}

“Do you want bubbles?”

Ordering “bubbles” (a.k.a. large tapioca pearls) in tea would have seemed inexplicable 20 years ago, but now that’s just how we roll. The bubble-tea concept, imported from Asia, is now popular enough that Fuku Tea can set up a teaonly outpost in Oakland, and manage a steady stream of customers.

The bright corner shop lets patrons customize their beverage (served hot or iced), choosing size, tea (black or green), more than a dozen fruit flavors, sweetness level and toppings.

Besides tapioca, fruit jellies, basil seed and popping bobas (juice balls) can be added. If it’s too overwhelming, opt for a pre-set option from the signature-drink menu. (My default is taro milk tea, which offers both an exotic flavor and a divine lavender color.)

Those who wish to taste more teas can choose from more than a dozen leaf mixes, including white teas, black teas, chai varieties and organic herbal blends.

(A cork-board atlas on the wall highlights tea origins.)

Because man prefers not to live on tea alone, there is a small selection of sweet treats, including macarons, mousse cake, red bean cake and Swiss rolls.

But we’re here for the bubbles: slightly sweet, black gummy balls that now seem like the perfect addition to an order of tea. And no rush — a sign in the window advises that “tapioca will be ready at 11 a.m.”

{CP PHOTO BY JOHN COLOMBO}

Take-out penne a la vodka with bread and salad (Editor’s note: City Paper does not normally photograph take-out food from a reviewed restaurant. However, calls to schedule a photo with the business were not returned.)

ITALIAN-AMERICAN

FAVORITES

AHOFF@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

3800 Forbes Ave., Oakland. www.fukutea.com

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{BY ANGELIQUE BAMBERG + JASON ROTH}

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Support the LGBTQ community — over dinner! The Gay and Lesbian Community Center of Pittsburgh, in collaboration with the Union Project, is hosting a free art-and-dinner party. The Smoke and

Mirrors Kick-Off: Reflections Meal invites registered guests to sup together, while engaging in facilitated conversations about the meaning and evolution of LGBTQ pride. Additionally, each table will have a piece of art from a local artist to serve as a catalyst for discussion. 3-4:30 p.m.

Sat., June 10. 801 N. Negley Ave., Highland Park. Register by emailing raiona@unionproject.org; use subject line as “Reflections Meal” and include the number of people attending.

N A CITY already packed with classic Italian-American restaurants, old and new, we always wonder that more continue to open. There are surely unplumbed depths to the many regional cuisines of Italy, but what more remains to be said in the language of red sauce?

Perhaps it’s the appeal of the tried and true. A menu of pizza, lasagna and fettuccine Alfredo may not promise excitement, but it generally offers something to satisfy even the most conservative diners in a given family, friend group or occasional gathering of coworkers. Plus, it is practically imperative for the over-21 to drink cheap Chianti in such restaurants, upping

the odds that a good time will be had by all.

These thoughts framed our expectations of Pazzo, a fairly new establishment in a freestanding building between the

PAZZO 1614 Washington Road, Upper St. Clair.

412-481-9100 HOURS: Tue.-Sun. 4 p.m.-close PRICES: Appetizers $8-14; soups and salads $5-11; pasta, pizza, and flatbread $14-22; entrees $18-22 LIQUOR: Full bar

Galleria and South Hills Village. Its menu is a compendium of Italian-American favorites, but “red sauce” doesn’t really do

it justice: While marinara, clam sauce and Bolognese were all present and accounted for, seafood was served over fettuccine with a white-wine cream sauce finished with lemon, and penne in marinara was augmented with garlic, oil, spinach, sundried tomatoes and pignola.

We were tempted by mini arancini, but learned they were about to be pulled from the menu. In the course of this conversation with our server, we were offered the bar menu, which featured its own assortment of appetizers. From this, we ordered Parmesan seafood dip. Shrimp, crab and lobster were mixed with cheese sauce and broiled, then topped with diced tomato.

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412-252-2877 Check us out @ frontporchgrille.com

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[PERSONAL CHEF]

KILLER TOFU {BY BROOKS CRISWELL, CO-OWNER OF ONION MAIDEN}

Killer tofu {PHOTO COURTESY OF BROOKS CRISWELL}

Destination

The sauce was mild, rich but not too heavy, and bites with lumps of shellfish were rewarding. Our main complaint was too few mini crostini came with it. Like most dips, this was too rich to eat with a spoon.

Stuffed banana peppers were hot, hot, hot. Whether this was by design or by chance — banana peppers are notoriously fickle in their fieriness — we preferred it to a wimpier preparation.

The menu includes sections for both pizza and flatbread, but does not exactly distinguish between them. Pizzas are rounder, maybe? Or thinner? Regardless, we liked the meat-lovers’ flatbread, an oblong slab of crust topped with pepperoni, sausage and bacon. The kitchen used these potentially overwhelming toppings judiciously, so that the cheese and pleasantly sweet sauce played complementary roles to all the meats’ salty savor. The crust was crisp, and while it lacked any real chew, it wasn’t one-dimensional either.

Pasta was divided into tossed and baked preparations for a total of almost 20 options. The homestyle lasagna had a great texture, with thin layers of pasta and a pleasing balance between chewy mozzarella and creamy ricotta, but the flavor was meek and mild. The scanty tomato sauce failed to assert itself with either sweetness or acidity, and an intensely flavored third cheese was wanting.

Angelique loves penne in creamy, sweetly tomatoey vodka sauce, and she was happy with Pazzo’s version. It was studded with savory morsels of pancetta that added texture as well as substance and dimension to the sauce’s taste.

Pazzo’s meat and chicken entrée options went a bit deeper than a typical Italian restaurant menu, leading Jason to try veal pesto Caprese — cutlets sautéed in Marsala sauce and served with pesto-roasted tomatoes and melted Fontina cheese.

The pesto’s effects were hard to discern, and while the veal was pleasingly, if subtly, flavored by the wine, the overall effect was pretty bland. Worse, while the cheese and tomatoes offered a pleasing interplay of chewiness and juiciness, the veal wasn’t nearly as tender as it should have been. It was not tough, exactly, but tenderness is the sine qua non of veal cutlets, so it’s hard to forgive anything less.

Ultimately, that pretty well summarizes our feelings about this latest ItalianAmerican restaurant. Old-school Italian places serve up nostalgia and some context for the long-standing popularity of this genre. Modern, regional Italian restaurants bid to acquaint us with new and professional preparations. What does Pazzo bring to the table? Pretty good, familiar food in anodyne suburban surroundings.

I was on tour with my band, Oh Shit They’re Going To Kill Us. We played at the Acheron in Brooklyn (RIP), and because we were in New York City, we also got to stay with my then-girlfriend, now wife and business partner, Dingo. Since my bandmates were all nice young men (and included my other nowbusiness partner Elyse’s husband, Dusty), we all got fed and clean and rested. One thing I distinctly remember was this meal Dingo made. It seemed bizarre, and definitely something I would never make myself, but like so many things that I felt the same way about at the time, it ended up being amazing.

Ever have good tofu? Like really good tofu? Lots of people are afraid of it. If you’re one of those people, try it. Learn how to make it yourself, because most restaurants don’t know how to make it either. Silken tofu, in particular, can be amazing. Here’s a really simple way to make it into, dare I say, “Killer Tofu.”

INGREDIENTS: • 1 block silken tofu, room temperature • 1-2 garlic cloves, sliced • some kind of mild oil, like vegetable or canola • fresh ginger, finely grated • scallions, finely chopped • 1 package nori seaweed • soy sauce/tamari (whatever you like) INSTRUCTIONS: The best part about this recipe is there is no measuring. That might freak some people out, but this one is hard to mess up. In a skillet, heat oil over mediumhigh heat. Use a little more than needed to coat the bottom. Slice garlic cloves and add to the oil. You’re making garlic oil, an amazing condiment and cooking medium. When garlic starts to turn golden brown, remove oil from the heat; don’t burn it. Put the tofu (block, cubed, however you prefer) in your favorite vessel. Finely grate some fresh ginger, chop your scallions, and maybe slice up your nori, if it comes in sheets (it comes in all kinds of different ways). Drizzle the garlic oil and soy sauce on top of the tofu. Add the other toppings to suit your taste. You can keep it all separate and craft each individual bite, too. Your call.

Tofu has no masters.

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WE WANT YOUR PERSONAL RECIPES AND THE STORIES BEHIND THEM. EMAIL THEM TO CELINE@PGHCITYPAPER.COM.

MEXICAN RESTAURANT & BAR

OAXACAN CUISINE

FRIDAY, JUNE 8TH LIVE MUSIC

HAPPY HOUR

{CP PHOTO BY KRISTA JOHNSON}}

Left to right: Dave Hallam, Parkway Theater owner Aaron Stubna and Tom Gloverr

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Wednesday - Friday 5PM-7PM Free Hot Appetizers!

[ON THE ROCKS]

STRANGE BREWS Abjuration Brewing to open in refurbished Parkway Theater {BY CELINE ROBERTS} “IT’S UNBELIEVABLE what you can get done

and hold other jobs,” says Pints on Penn bartender Tom Glover.

Glover is one half of the team of the yetto-open Abjuration Brewing. Dave Hallam, a computer programmer at the University of Pittsburgh, is the other. The seed for the project was planted when Hallam’s wife bought him a home-brew kit. He became enamored of the process and the homebrew community. Soon, Glover joined him and the two started brewing together. “Tom really affected my recipes,” says Hallam.

Seven years and many beer-festival test runs later, they’re on the cusp of opening Abjuration Brewing in McKees Rocks’ Parkway Theater, which is also currently under renovation. They hope to open the doors in July.

Brewing isn’t the pair’s only connection. Both Hallam and Glover are longtime gamers, and they choose the brewery name accordingly. “There’s a school of magic in D&D [Dungeons and Dragons] called abjuration. It means the renunciation of an oath,” says Glover. “There are all of these weird, old-school laws in beer, we don’t want to play like that. If you’re going to be an artist, you get to be an artist.” Glover and Hallam are both dedicated to exploring new pairings, styles and flavors in their beers. “I want to make the weirdest beer you’ve ever had that still tastes good to drink a pint of it,” says Glover.

Instead of following the naming trend in craft beer which errs toward the cute

and ridiculous, Hallam and Glover will use “versioning” for their beers. Pulling from Hallam’s background in programming (he built the website, so expect it to be updated regularly), each beer recipe will start at version 1. If any changes are made to the base recipe, like using a different blend of hops, each resulting recipe will be the next-numbered version. Hallam and Glover hope that this will allow customers to taste differences and enable them to request specific preferred versions.

Abjuration will also be an open-source operation. Every recipe will be available to the community. “We’ve always shared recipes in the home-brewing community.

That’s how I learned to brew beer,” says Hallam, “We’re home-brewers, we’re just going to be on a bigger system.” Abjuration will brew on a one-barrel system and a two-and-a-half barrel fermenter, making Abjuration a nano brewery. Hallam and Glover say this gives them brewing flexibility to test risker recipes and use fresh ingredients. “I’d like to have 12 different beers rolling all the time,” says Glover.

Hallam and Glover are also excited to be working side by side with the 50-seat Parkway Theater. Once both businesses are open, customers will be able to take their Abjuration brews to see a movie, or stop by for a pint afterward. “The Parkway has been a great part of the community for awhile. I definitely think it’s going to be an anchor on that part of the street,” says Glover.

WE CATER!

Happy Pride Week, Pittsburgh!

“I WANT TO MAKE THE WEIRDEST BEER YOU’VE EVER HAD THAT STILL TASTES GOOD TO DRINK A PINT OF IT.”

Look for City Paper in Sunday’s Pride parades, smile for our photographer and you might end up in our online photo essay!

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BOOZE BATTLES {BY CELINE ROBERTS}

Each week, we order the same cocktail at two different bars for a friendly head-to-head battle.

Go to the bars, taste both drinks and tell us what you like about each by tagging @pghcitypaper on Twitter or Instagram and use #CPBoozeBattles. If you want to be a part of Booze Battles, send an email to food-and-beverage writer Celine Roberts, at celine@pghcitypaper.com.

THE DRINK: NEGRONI WEEK EDITION

VS.

The 5th Judicial District of Pennsylvania and Allegheny County Pretrial Services urges you to enjoy your weekend out in Pittsburgh but make the right choice,

don’t drink & drive.

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Casellula

Pints on Penn

40 W. North Ave., North Side

3523 Penn Ave., Lawrenceville

DRINK: Negroni INGREDIENTS: Beefeater gin, Vida mezcal, Campari, Dolin Rouge, orange peel OUR TAKE: The smokiness of the mezcal helps to soften the bitter notes in the Campari, making this a milder, more accessible version of the classic recipe. Agave brightens the flavors of the citrus, making the cocktail lightly sweet and musty.

DRINK: Negroni INGREDIENTS: Bluecoat gin, Campari, sweet red vermouth, orange peel OUR TAKE: The classic recipe packs all the bitter punch cocktail traditionalists look forward to in this drink. The gin’s juniper and citrus notes interplay to create an herbaceous sweetness that takes some of the pucker from the experience.

Learn more about Pittsburgh’s food scene on our podcasts Sound Bite and Five Minutes in Food History online at www.pghcitypaper.com.

One Bordeaux, One Scotch, One Beer Tall Pines Distillery Pine Sap Moonshine $34/750 ml This cinnamon-and-vanilla-infused moonshine from Somerset County is perfect for ’shine novices. Hits hard up front with that traditional cornliquor kick, but rounds out nicely from the smoothness of the vanilla. Tall Pines distillers suggest mixing it with Coke or Dr. Pepper, but I prefer it as bootleggers intended: straight-up while hiding between the pines.

RECOMMENDED BY RYAN DETO

Pine Sap Moonshine is available at the distillery in Salisbury, Pa. Also, Full Pint Wild Side pub in Lawrenceville carries Tall Pines products occasionally.

IF YOU REALLY NEED SOMETHING DONE, CALL A WOMAN

THE DOGS OF WAR {BY AL HOFF}

MY FIRST WAR

Marines Megan Leavey (Kate Mara) and Rex

Megan (Kate Mara) introduces herself during the opening scene of Megan Leavey as a directionless young woman from a dead-end town. So, following Sept. 11, she joins the Marines and discovers her calling: working with an explosivesdetecting German shepherd named Rex, a fellow “Marine” who has some anger issues.

But the two work well together, and Gabriela Cowperthwaite’s mostly feel-good, real-life drama follows them to Iraq, where everything is potentially deadly. The tour in Iraq results in traumatic experiences for Megan and Rex, and the film shifts to those repercussions. Megan doesn’t have much support for her PTSD; her strongest emotional bond has been with Rex, who is trapped in various bureaucracies of the military. (Rex is Marine property, not a pet.) But Megan, and by extension, this film fights back, advocating that Rex deserves the more humane treatment offered to two-legged vets. It’s a formulaic tale, but one for the shelf of contemporary films that are tracking our changing relationship to combat veterans, both human and canine. Starts Fri., June 9 AHOFF@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

{BY AL HOFF}

Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot) takes the field during the Great War.

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T’S AN OLD joke-not-a-joke: If you really

{PHOTO COURTESY OF TURNER CLASSIC MOVIES}

Cary Grant stars in the 1946 Cole Porter bio Night and Day.

Cable channel Turner Classic Movie (TCM) celebrates Pride Month with

Gay Hollywood Thursdays in June.

The network screens films with gay actors, directors and writers, most of whom were forced to work in the closet. Among those featured: leading heartthrobs (Rock Hudson, Montgomery Clift, Tab Hunter); songwriter Cole Porter (Night and Day); playwrights Tennessee Williams (Cat on a Hot Tin Roof) and Edward Albee (Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?); and assorted players, such as Liberace and Rudolf Nureyev. See www. tcm.com for the complete schedule.

need something done, call a woman.

That’s certainly the case with the burgeoning DC Comics Cinematic Universe, which made viewers slog through the dull and occasionally incoherent Batman v. Superman last year. That film’s bright spot was the brief introduction of Wonder Woman (portrayed by Gal Gadot), and now the lady warrior gets her own marquee movie.

Wonder Woman, directed by Patty Jenkins, is chiefly an origin story — how a young Amazon warrior and demi-goddess is introduced to the wide world of humans, when pilot Steve Trevor (Chris Pine) crash-lands near her hidden, women-only island home. The troubles Trevor describes — a.k.a. World War I — rouse Diana to her sacred duty, a.k.a. to defeat Ares, the god of war responsible for this conflict. She grabs the island’s best weapons — a shield, a sword and the glowing “Lasso of Truth” — and heads to Europe with Trevor.

After a brief comic sojourn suiting up in London, Diana arrives at the frontlines, just as an armistice is being prepared for

signature. Lest you think she’s conveniently claiming victory at the very last minute, know that a villain is planning a particularly destructive final act. (Her actions are not recorded in historical accounts, and thus we credit the armistice for the ceasefire.)

WONDER WOMAN DIRECTED BY: Patty Jenkins STARRING: Gal Gadot, Chris Pine, David Thewlis In 3-D, in select theaters

CP APPROVED There is the big final showdown with Ares, but the film’s pulse-pounding debut of the iconic Wonder Woman persona is when Diana, clad in her signature bustier fighting suit, strides with noble purpose across no-man’s-land directly into German bullets. (Why a bunch of exhausted young men would shoot at a near-naked beautiful woman is a question for other scholars.)

The film has some weaker spots. Pine is just fine as the necessary plot catalyst, in a role that requires him to be a glorified (and

good-looking) male sidekick. But he has a big speech at the end, that even adjusting for comic-book dramatics, he fails to deliver effectively. And the action scenes are cluttered with CGI effects; I’m not in favor of having so many of Diana’s legit combat skills reduced to gimmicky slow-motion gymnastics. It only calls attention to the artifice, positing how-did-the-movie-do-that instead of how-did-she-do-that. She’s Wonder Woman — her moves don’t need digital sweetening.

But Wonder Woman is an improvement over the recent onslaught of oft-tedious comics-based movies. Despite being a building block for future DC Comics films, it functions fine as a stand-alone story, with a beginning, an end and no complicated mythology to sort out. And as will be frequently noted (and hopefully acted on in future films of all stripes), it features a strong female lead, who is a bad-ass and thoughtful warrior. And in a universe of so many cynical, brooding superheroes, she’s hopeful — for us, even after witnessing the mess humans make. This summer, Wonder Woman may be just the fighter we need.

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2014 dramedy about the goings-on at a famous European hotel between the World Wars. It’s a charmingly told, (decidedly) tall tale — a fable that shows all the symptoms of a director imitating himself, and possibly even putting us on. At its best, Grand Budapest Hotel is many things. The color scheme is otherworldly, the music lithe and playful. Apart from its nonsense about the past, it’s a paean to the proles: As soldiers rout and the elite conspire, a network of concierges comes to one another’s rescue. They’re played, in cameos, by members of Anderson’s stock company — Jason Schwartzman, Bill Murray, Bob Balaban and Owen Wilson. June 9-15. Row House (Harry Kloman)

FILM CAPSULES CP

= CITY PAPER APPROVED

NEW THE BEST AND MOST BEAUTIFUL THINGS. Garrett Zevgetis directs this new coming-of-age documentary about 20-year-old Michelle Smith, legally blind and on the autism spectrum, who from her rural Maine home seeks out life, laughter and good times with a sex-fetish community.

June 12-15. Harris IT COMES AT NIGHT. Trey Edward Shults’ horror thriller is a lean piece of paranoia and tension.

It opens with no preamble on a man dying of something horrible. Quickly, we ascertain that there is some contagious disease loose, and for safety, one family has barricaded itself in a house in the isolated woods. Paul (Joel Edgerton), his wife, Sarah (Carmen Ejogo), and their teenage son (Travis Kelvin Harrison Jr.) live uneasily, taking precautions, including wearing protective gloves and face masks. Then late one night a stranger breaks in, and begs mercy: He was just looking for shelter for himself and his family. Grudgingly, Paul agrees, and Will (Christopher Abbott), his wife, Kim (Riley Keough) and their toddler move into the house. But the close quarters, the lack of electricity and plumbing, and the constant fear of contamination puts everyone on edge — and things go from awkward to very bad. The illness threat is never explained, and really, distrust is far more contagious, and ultimately, more deadly.

Shults’ work is a slow-burner, and doesn’t indulge in gratuitous gore or jump-out scares. The most nerve-rattling scenes involve the insomniac Travis wandering around the oddly shaped house at night, his camping lantern throwing crazy shadows. (Take a moment to marvel at the technology that lets directors shoot movies with the weirdest sorts of limited light.) As it’s a bit slim on story, Night doesn’t deliver as much of an emotional punch as it likely aims to do. The ending isn’t wholly satisfying, but the film takes a pleasantly unsettling journey to get there. Starts Fri., June 9 (AH) THE MUMMY. An ancient Egyptian princess is awakened and proceeds to wreak havoc on assorted people and countries. Tom Cruise stars in Alex Kurtzman’s thriller. In 3-D, in select theaters.

Starts Fri., June 9 MY COUSIN RACHEL. Roger Michell directs this period drama, adapted from the Daphne Du Maurier novel, in which a young man believes his cousin has murdered his guardian. Sam Claflin and Rachel Weisz star. Starts Fri., June 9

REPERTORY GET OUT. Being black while in white spaces is the core fear of Jordan Peele’s recent horror thriller, an assured, smart and provocative debut. And that fear is on the mind of Chris (Daniel Kaluuya), who’s packing to spend the weekend with the parents of his newish white girlfriend, Rose (Allison Williams). It’s a modern Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner, where things get creepy in the country. Back in the city, Chris’ buddy, Rod (LilRel Howery), functions as an audience stand-in; Rod calls Chris out for sticking around, for trusting this odd family, and he unspools increasingly baroque conspiracy theories about what might be really going on. Rod is also the source of the film’s laugh-out-loud moments.

Peele knows the genre well, employing tropes like malfunctioning phones and locked basements. Get Out follows the standard trajectory, from weekend at isolated house that starts kinda weird to the frantic final reel where the bodies

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It Comes at Night pile up. You can watch Get Out as a basic slow-burn horror thriller, but the big rewards are in unpacking all that it subverts, as well as processing its indictment of how things are not OK in a “post-racial” America.

2:45 p.m. Wed., June 7, and 7:05 p.m. Thu., June 8.

Row House Cinema (AH)

short films from around the world. Then, if inspired, try making an animated film of your own, using tablets, apps and the stop-motion animation technique.

The screenings and workshop are offered in conjunction with the Three Rivers Arts Festival. Noon-3 p.m. daily through Sun., June 11. Harris. Free

THE VIRGIN SUICIDES. Sofia Coppola’s dreamy, unsettling 1999 drama is set in suburban Detroit in the 1970s. There, a group of teenage boys grow obsessed with five sisters, who are kept sheltered by their religious parents. Kirsten Dunst, Kathleen Turner and James Woods star. 5 p.m. Wed., June 7, and 9:15 p.m.

Thu., June 8. Row House Cinema

TIP OF MY TONGUE. Lynne Sachs’ 2016 film celebrates the filmmaker’s 50th birthday in a unique fashion. She matches her life’s timeline to those of friends who lived through the same periods and events — Vietnam War protests, Columbine shooting, Occupy Wall Street — but in different places, such as Iran, Cuba, New York City and Australia. Director Sachs will attend the Fri., June 9, screenings.

The film screens for free as part of the Three Rivers Arts Festival. 7 and 9 p.m. nightly, through Sun., June 11. Harris

HOT FUZZ. This affectionate and obsessive 2007 pop-culture comedy spoofs a pair of genres heretofore never combined: the English-village murder cozy and the gun-heavy American high-octane cop-buddy actioner. That the twain should never meet — and do — is the spine upon which writer-director Edgar Wright and his co-writer and star Simon Pegg hang many gags and clever asides. For every obvious gross-out joke or pratfall, the pair lay a landmine for a brilliant pay-off in the chaotic last reel (I laughed hardest when co-star Nick Frost simply asked, “Pub?”).

There’s a busload of British TV and film thespians onboard, and the homages run the gamut from Agatha Christie and The Wicker Man to such stone-cold classics as Point Break and Bad Boys 2. At nearly two hours, it’s a trifle self-indulgent, but what beloved shoot-’em-up — and BBC mystery series — isn’t? Lock and load, lads.

7 p.m. Wed., June 7, and 2:15 p.m. Thu., June 8. Row House Cinema (AH)

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THE STEPFORD WIVES. Of course, this creepy tale about men’s domination of women, by confining them to subservient roles in the domestic sphere, came out just as the seeds of the women’s liberation movement were beginning to bear fruit. In Bryan Forbes’ 1975 slow-burner thriller, a couple moves to a small suburban enclave, where everything seems perfect. Or perhaps, too perfect, particularly among the women, who are all beautiful and devote themselves to cooking, cleaning and pleasing their men. Needless to say, there are some terrible secrets to be uncovered.

Katharine Ross and Paula Prentiss star. 9:30 pm. Wed., June 7, and 4:40 p.m. Thu., June 8. Row House Cinema INTERNATIONAL ANIMATED SHORTS PROGRAM AND WORKSHOP. Catch a program of animated

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DOLLAR BANK CINEMA IN THE PARK. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Wed., June 7 (Schenley: Flagstaff Hill), and Sat., June 10 (Riverview).

The Secret Life of Pets, Thu., June 8 (Brookline); Fri., June 9 (Arsenal); and Sat., June 10 (Grandview). Sing, Sun., June 11 (Schenley Plaza); Tue., June 13 (West End/Elliott Overlook); and Thu., June 15 (Brookline).

Ghostbusters, Wed., June 14 (Schenley: Flagstaff Hill).

Films begin at dusk. 412-255-2493 or www.citiparks. net. Free THE MUMMY. This 1999 version, directed by Stephen Sommers and starring Brendan Fraser, is fairly faithful to the old tales about ill-advisedly raiding Egyptian tombs. The tone of banter-and-horror recalls its B-movie forebearers, despite all the computerized effects. 7:30 p.m. Wed., June 7. AMC Loews Waterfront. $5 BOTTLE ROCKET. In Wes Anderson’s 1996 debut feature, a group of pals including Owen and Luke Wilson bungle a robbery. This quirky comedy builds to a hilarious burglary (safecracker Kumar Pallana steals every scene he’s in). Fans of Anderson’s later films, including Rushmore, The Royal Tennebaums and The Life Aquatic With Aquatic will catch the writer-director developing his deadpan style (and his love for matching work clothes). June 9-15. Row House Cinema (AH) THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL. Wes Anderson directs an ensemble cast — including Ralph Fiennes, F. Murray Abraham and Mathieu Amalric — in his

THE LIFE AQUATIC WITH STEVE ZISSOU. If ironic distance were a perfume, this 2004 Wes Anderson film would be drenched in it. Yet as an alluring scent, it wouldn’t prove particularly effective. Life bobbles along with oceanographer and documentarian Steve Zissou (Bill Murray) — a lonely, middle-aged, shabby sort of man, literally adrift — until a couple of mildly invigorating strangers turn up. They join Zissou’s multi-culti, ragtag gang aboard his rickety research ship in search of a shark — and some sketchy personal developments. Despite multiple intertwining threads, the film lacks a compelling story, and worse, nothing here feels organic; the sets, characters and storyline are all calculated for Anderson’s peculiar and deliberately detached pantomimes. We anticipate zingy pleasures, but the film soon grows stagy and airless.

June 9-15. Row House (AH) THE ROYAL TENNENBAUMS. In his 2001 dramedy, Wes Anderson explores members of a splintered family, complete with disgraced, exiled king/dad Royal (Gene Hackman), regally unflappable queen mother (Anjelica Huston), and three child geniuses who grew up into neurotic adults: obsessively self-sufficient businessman (Ben Stiller), terminally insecure playwright (Gwyneth Paltrow) and nervously broken-down ex-tennis whiz (Luke Wilson). Anderson examines their pain with a sensitivity that’s somehow abetted by his deadpan absurdist humor. Led by Hackman, who expertly balances Royal’s lack of repentance with a sincere desire to patch things up with his long-neglected brood, the cast is fine as Anderson creates a kind-of fairy tale: It’s not quite real, he keeps reminding us, but it has more than enough of the world in it to move you in ways you might never expect. June 9-15. Row House (Bill O’Driscoll)

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LET ME MAKE YOU A MARTYR. Corey Asraf and John Swab direct this new thriller about two adopted siblings who fall in love and decide to kill their abusive father. The film stars Mark Boone Junior, Niko Nicotera, Sam Quartin and Marilyn Manson. 7 p.m. Sat., June 10. Hollywood GUN HILL ROAD. This Bronx-set drama tracks two concurrent journeys: the coming-of-age of transsexual teen-ager Michael, a.k.a. Vanessa; and the struggle of his tough-guy father (Esai Morales), just released from jail, to accept Vanessa’s identity. It’s a sympathetic portrayal that doesn’t offer pat solutions. The 2011 film screens as part of a monthly series of movies that highlight the struggles and triumphs of the LGBT community. 7 p.m. Wed., June 14. Alphabet City, 40 W. North Ave., North Side. www.reelq.org. Free FROM THIS DAY FORWARD. Sharon Shattuck’s 2015 documentary recounts her own family’s journey, beginning with her dad transitioning to female while Sharon was in middle school through her parents’ decision to remain together. 6:30 p.m. Thu., June 15.

Eddy Theater, Chatham University campus, Shadyside. www.justfilmspgh.org. Free INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM. It’s whip-crackin’ adventure in India as the be-hatted Jones (Harrison Ford) searches for a mystical stone.

Steven Spielberg directs this 1984 hit, the sequel to Raiders of the Lost Ark. 7:30 p.m. Wed., June 14. AMC Loews Waterfront. $5

HISTORY LESSONS

“IT’S SO IMPORTANT TO KNOW THE LATEST TECHNOLOGY OUT THERE.”

This week in Pittsburgh Sports History {BY CHARLIE DEITCH} A look back at events that you’ve either forgotten about or never heard of in the first place.

JUNE 9, 1914 Pittsburgh Pirates great Honus Wagner becomes the second member of Major League Baseball’s 3,000-hit club when he doubles off Philadelphia’s Erskine Mayer.

Or, as the Atlanta Constitution reported the next day: “Hans Wagner makes his 3,000th Bingle.”

JUNE 9, 1946 In a game against the Pirates at Forbes Field, New York Giants manager Mel Ott makes history when he is ejected from both games of a double-header. The New York Times calls the episode “side-splitting.”

JUNE 9, 1984 In the first round of the NHL draft, the Pittsburgh Penguins select Mario Lemieux. Spoiler alert: He turned out to be really good.

JUNE 10, 1890 Jocko Fields, of the Pittsburgh Burghers, hits the first home run in Pittsburgh’s Exposition Park. The Burghers played in the lone season of the Players’ League. {CP PHOTO BY LUKE THOR TRAVIS}

JUNE 10, 1985 “The Gunner,” legendary Pittsburgh Pirates announcer Bob Prince, dies from complications of pneumonia at age 68.

JUNE 12, 1970 Pittsburgh Pirates pitcher Dock Ellis throws his infamous no-hitter while high on LSD. While some players dispute that Ellis could have accomplished this feat while high on acid, Ellis mostly stuck to the story over the years.

JUNE 12, 2006 Months after his first Super Bowl championship, Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, while motorcycling, is involved in a crash on Second Avenue, at the foot of the 10th Street Bridge.

Roethlisberger was not wearing a helmet, nor did he have a valid motorcycle license.

JUNE 13, 1975 The Pittsburgh Penguins declare bankruptcy, and the Civic Arena is padlocked by the IRS. JUNE 14, 1927 The Oakmont Country Club hosts its first U.S. Open.

JUNE 15, 1987 Pittsburgh Pirate Jim Morrison is caught stealing home twice … in the same inning.

CDEITCH@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

Evan Mascitti, field-operations supervisor for the Pittsburgh Pirates, during the organization’s recent field-maintenance clinic for area universities and school districts

GRASS CLASS {BY KIM LYONS}

C

HANCES ARE good that Evan Mas-

citti, the field-operations supervisor for the Pittsburgh Pirates, has heard your “grass is greener on the other side” jokes.

“I don’t mind them,” he says with a chuckle. “Even my family jokes about it.”

Part of his job is making sure the grass at PNC Park is kept at the correct height, down to the quarter-inch, all year round.

Aerating the soil, what type of fertilizer to use, and how much and how often the grass is cut are the kinds of things fans notice only when something’s wrong. But it takes a lot to get everything just right.

Last week, while the Pirates were in New York playing the Mets, Mascitti and the rest of the grounds-crew team hosted their counterparts from area school districts and municipalities to show them some tricks of the trade.

Matt Brown, PNC Park’s director of field operations, led the meeting of about 50 people. The event was sponsored by powermanagement company Eaton Corp., the company that replaced the lighting at PNC Park with an LED system earlier this year.

“It’s a small industry. We’re all facing the same challenges, as far as weather and events, and playability on our fields,” Brown said. “We’re happy to help if we can.”

The tour of the ballpark included a look at everything from the proper consistency for the clay along the warning track, and maintenance of the pitcher’s mound, to what kind of rake to use on the warmup area in the bullpen and the right settings for lights at various spots around the park.

The lighting can be changed in the dugout, for instance, using a smartphone,

and can be adjusted based on the event or the time of day.

John Tucci, athletic director at Robert Morris University, appreciated how easily the information the grounds crew was sharing applied to all types of recreational fields, not just baseball.

“What you apply to baseball, you can apply to the soccer fields or any type of field,” he said. “It’s so important to know the latest technology out there, and these guys know it.”

Mascitti said the grounds crew is careful about what products it uses, even as it tries to keep the grass as green as possible as long as possible. He said it’s important to the crew to use minimal fungicides and other chemicals treating the field, given PNC Park’s proximity to the three rivers. “We take that very seriously,” he said.

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[THE CHEAP SEATS]

SECRET GARDEN {BY MIKE WYSOCKI} ON THE NORTHWEST tip of Fayette County rests a hamlet of slightly more than 1,000 residents. It may seem like any other small town in our area, but no other small town can claim the title of Hockeyville USA. More than 1,400 boroughs, towns and cities with hockey arenas entered the contest to earn the title of “Kraft Hockeyville USA.” The winning town would receive $150,000 to renovate its arena and get to host an NHL preseason game. Just a couple of years ago Johnstown won the award, and fans in Cambria County got to see Sid Crosby and Evgeni Malkin take on Alex Ovechkin and the Washington Capitals at the famed War Memorial Arena. This year, Belle Vernon beat out Bloomington, Minn., a town of nearly 90,000 residents, to win the contest. I have no sympathy for Bloomington; go shop in your precious Mall of America. You’re not the first to lose to Western Pennsylvania; we’re pretty good at winning stuff.

Belle Vernon is currently on a hot streak. Just after the big contest win, residents turned on their TVs to see former Belle Vernon Leopard Dorian Johnson get picked in the fourth round of the NFL draft by the Arizona Cardinals. As a high school player, the highly prized offensive lineman had been recruited by every Division 1 college (as a lot of talented 6’5,” 315-pound linemen are). He wanted to stay close to his hometown and chose the

University of Pittsburgh. Johnson went on to play all four years at Pitt, starting in 40 consecutive games and winning first-team All-American honors. The last Panther offensive lineman to do that was nine-time NFL Pro Bowler Reuben Brown back in 1994. Johnson will join former Pitt standout Larry Fitzgerald in Phoenix.

Just to make everyone feel old, Johnson, who graduated high school in 2013, was 9 when Arizona drafted Fitzgerald.

But enough about football. The Rostraver Ice Garden is the Madison Square Garden of Belle Vernon. The 52-year-old hockey arena will get $150,000 in renovations, and it may have won the contest because it has a great sob story. In 2010, the Garden made national news when heavy snow caused the arena’s roof to cave onto the ice. Nobody was seriously injured, but the bottom line took a hit when it had to be rebuilt. But the garden has continued to bloom and now hosts the men’s and women’s hockey games for the California University of Pennsylvania Vulcans as well as several high schools. Kevin Smith used the Ice Garden as the home of the “Monroeville Zombies” hockey team in his film Zack and Miri Make a Porno.

Yes, even Seth Rogen has skated on the fabled ice in Belle Vernon. Although locals probably spend a lot of time trying to explain that movie title to outof-town relatives.

In 2007, the Ice Garden was home to two minor-league sports franchises, but they stayed for only a year. The Mon

THE ROSTRAVER ICE GARDEN IS THE MADISON SQUARE GARDEN OF BELLE VERNON.

MIK E WYSO C K I IS A STANDU P C O ME DIAN. F O L L OW H I M ON T W I T T E R: @ I T S M I K E W YS OC K I

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Valley Thunder, a great name with a cool logo of a Viking about to smash the ice with a hammer of the gods, folded just months before the entire Mid-Atlantic Hockey League went defunct. It was also the home of the Pittsburgh RiverRats of the American Indoor Football Association. The RiverRats even set a prestigious AIFA record by putting 86 points on the scoreboard in one game. But after just one season, the Rats packed up and left for the big-city glamour of Erie, Pa. Like Madison Square Garden, the Ice Garden also played a role in promoting pro wrestling. I know pro wrestling is not a real sport, but in Pittsburgh it is. Extreme Championship Wrestling broadcast many matches from the Ice Garden thanks to its bigly crowds of enthusiastic fans.

The ECW was a ’90s wrestling outfit that would have crossed the line if they actually had one. Bloodied combatants fought in barbed-wire, flaming-table and Singapore-cane matches. The wrestlers swilled

beer, crashed through tables, and spewed profanity before, during and after matches. The Rostraver Ice Garden is where Rob Van Dam, Sabu, Taz, the Dudley Boys and the legendary Balls Mahoney perfected their craft. Although the ECW is no more (thanks Vince McMahon), the Ice Garden still hosts matches occasionally.

In the 1970s, the Pittsburgh Penguins used to practice in the arena. Back then only crybabies wore helmets, and if you got your teeth knocked out, they stayed out. But now, thanks to the people who bring you cheese-like products like Velveeta, the Penguins will be making their return to Rostraver on Sept. 24. The St. Louis Blues will travel to Fayette County to take on the Pittsburgh Penguins in an exhibition game. If you’re driving south on Route 51 that day, hop off the road and check it out. After all, there aren’t many 52-yearold hockey arenas in Fayette County that hockey greats like Sid Crosby, Evgeni Malkin and Seth Rogen have all skated on.

See You At Pride!

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{BY CHARLIE DEITCH} In June 2015, after the Pittsburgh Pirates played the Philadelphia Phillies at PNC Park, a band called Big & Rich took to the stage and played for fans. Coincidentally, that game was the same night as Pittsburgh Pride’s Pride in the Streets event.

I didn’t realize Big & Rich played at PNC until a few days later, but I immediately shook my head at the irony. The group’s lead singer, John Rich, had a history of making derogatory comments about LGBTQ individuals, but there he was playing for one of the city’s major sports teams on the evening of Pride. Just a week earlier, Pride’s original {CP PHOTO BY JOHN COLOMBO} performer, Iggy Azalea, withdrew as the Pride Iceburgh, the Pittsburgh Penguins mascot, marching in 2016’s Pride parade headliner after community members took issue with homophobic comments she had made.

There’s always been a bit of a strange relationship between sports, professional and otherwise, and the LGBTQ community. That’s why organizations like Steel City Sports has for years provided a safe space for LGBTQ athletes and their allies to play recreational sports like softball, volleyball and bowling. But for some, the machismo-drenched world of pro sports can feel unwelcoming.

Very few professional athletes have ever come out during their playing days out of fear of how their teammates, their bosses and their fans would react. Exceptions include NBA player Jason Collins, short-lived NFL player Michael Sam (who came out while in college) and pro wrestler Darren Young.

But it does seem like things may be getting better. In February, the Pittsburgh Penguins hosted You Can Play Night, billed as the city’s first local-sports LGBTQ night. Tickets were donated by players and corporate sponsors so LGBTQ youth could come to the game. And on July 2, just two years removed from the Big & Rich show, the Pirates will hold their first Pride Day at PNC Park. If you buy tickets with the coupon code: “pride,” you can also get a Pirates hat with a rainbow-colored logo.

Things may also be changing on the football front. A couple of weeks ago, Pittsburgh’s Delta Foundation posted an article about the New England Patriots sponsoring Gay Bowl 2017, a national LGBTQ flag-football tournament taking place in October. Along with that post, Delta also posed a question for the Pittsburgh Steelers: “Is it time for the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Rooney family to get involved and support the LGBT Community?”

The way the tide is turning, it appears so.

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ROOMMATES

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ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR OF SOFTWARE ENGINEERING Robert Morris University has an opening in Moon Township, PA for an Associate Professor of Software Engineering. Prepares and delivers lectures to undergraduate and/or graduate students on Software Engineering topics. Ph.D. or equiv in Software Engineering, Computer Science, or related + 5yrs teaching exp. Send resumes to Robert Morris University, Attn: Lisa Sauer, 6001 University Boulevard, Moon Township, PA 15108.

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PROFESSOR, INDUSTRIAL & MANUFACTURING ENGINEERING. Prepares and delivers lectures to undergraduate and/or graduate students on topics such as manufacturing and industrial engineering. Ph.D. in Industrial Engineering, Systems Engineering, Manufacturing Engineering or related or equiv or ABD. Send resumes to Robert Morris University, Attn: Lisa Sauer, 6001 University Boulevard, Moon Township, PA 15108. Must ref job title & code: APIME-EE.

THE BOARD OF PUBLIC EDUCATION OF THE SCHOOL DISTRICT OF PITTSBURGH Sealed bids will be received in the Office Of The Chief Operations Officer, Room 251, Administration Building, 341 South Bellefield Avenue until 11:00 A.M. prevailing time JUNE 13, 2017 and will be opened at the same hour for the purchase of the following equipment.

CALCULATORS General Information regarding bids may be obtained at the Office of the Purchasing Agent, Service Center, 1305 Muriel Street, Pittsburgh, PA 15203. The bid documents are available on the School District’s Purchasing web site at: http://www.pghboe.net/pps/site/default.asp Click on Bid Opportunities under Quick Links.

The Board of Public Education reserves the right to reject any and all bids, or select a single item from any bid.

Leon Webb Purchasing Agent We are an equal rights and opportunity school district.

Parent Hotline: 412-622-7920 www.pps.k12.pa.us PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER

{BY BRENDAN EMMETT QUIGLEY / WWW.BRENDANEMMETTQUIGLEY.COM}

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THINK ABOUT IT

06.07/06.14.2017

ACROSS 1. Turn ore into metal 6. With 66-Across, logical fallacy, and an alternate title for this puzzle 14. Capital city also known as the Paris of the Orient 15. Perk up 16. Live 17. Fixer-uppers?

18. Perennial trouble spot 20. Most uninteresting 21. Ltd.’s kin 22. Joey Fatone’s boy band 24. Sudden shock 27. Theater award given out by The Village Voice 29. Finn of fiction 33. TV show that “made DNA a household term” according to its website 34. Alhambra’s city 37. Stereotypical guy 38. Tease mercilessly 39. German cooler 40. Showed the way 41. Cochlea site 42. Scrape (by) 43. 1964 LBJ spot 45. Wu-Tang Clan’s in-house producer 46. Electoral district

48. NBA member: Abbr.

49. Team with a yoke 50. Étudiant’s spot 53. Recent, in the Reeperbahn 55. Strip legally 58. Georgia O’Keeffe Museum city 62. Waterworlds 65. Mistake 66. See 6-Across 67. Cypress Hill’s DJ 68. Souvenirs 69. “Win by ___”

DOWN 1. Son of Noah 2. Pad variety 3. Katelyn Nacon’s “Walking Dead” character 4. Snap 5. Tennessee NFLer 6. Runner Sebastian 7. Annoying figure 8. “Are we doing this?”

9. Pile of rocks 10. Metallica drummer Lars 11. Corona garnish 12. Cicero’s salutations 13. Squatter’s non-payment 15. Old PC screen 19. Volcanic rock ejecta 22. “A Spy in the House of Love” author

23. Some mattresses 24. Uniqlo rival 25. Japanese city where the Orix Buffaloes play 26. Feline hybrid 28. Relating to a cranial point 30. Private ride selection 31. Far-flung fad 32. Book that has the word “Allah” 2698 times 34. Test with four sub-tests: Abbr.

35. Troi on “Star Trek: TNG” 36. + 44. Down and

slightly to the right, on a map: Abbr.

47. Bring down 49. Beat in a race 51. Digital camera brand 52. Praying figure 54. It can help you go places 55. Rice pad 56. Frozen beverage brand 57. Fashion line 58. Droop 59. 2013 Best Picture 60. Mists over 61. Scots Irish 63. Carnival city 64. Progressive biz: Abbr. {LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS}

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Sealed proposals shall be deposited at the Administration Building, Room 251, 341 South Bellefield Avenue, Pittsburgh, Pa., 15213, on July 11, 2017, until 2:00 P.M., local prevailing time for the following:

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Pittsburgh Obama 6-12 Cooling Tower Replacement Mechanical Prime Project Manual and Drawings are available for purchase on June 6, 2017 at Modern Reproductions (412-488-7700), 127 McKean Street, Pittsburgh, Pa., 15219 between 9:00 A.M. and 4:00 P.M. The cost of the Project Manual Documents is non-refundable.

Project details and dates are described in each project manual.

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FOR THE WEEK OF

Free Will Astrology

06.07-06.14

{BY ROB BREZSNY}

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “When I grow up, I’m not sure what I want to be.” Have you ever heard that thought bouncing around your mind, Gemini? Or how about this one: “Since I can’t decide what I want to be, I’ll just be everything.” If you have been tempted to swear allegiance to either of those perspectives, I suggest it’s time to update your relationship with them. A certain amount of ambivalence about commitment and receptivity to myriad possibilities will always be appropriate for you. But if you hope to fully claim your birthright, if you long to ripen into your authentic self, you’ll have to become ever-more definitive and specific about what you want to be and do.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): As a Cancerian myself, I’ve had days when I’ve stayed in bed from morning to nightfall, confessing my fears to my imaginary friends and eating an entire cheesecake. As an astrologer, I’ve noticed that these blue patches seem more likely to occur during the weeks before my birthday each year. If you go through a similar blip any time soon, here’s what I recommend: Don’t feel guilty about it. Don’t resist it. Instead, embrace it fully.

If you feel lazy and depressed, get REALLY lazy and depressed. Literally hide under the covers with your headphones on and feel sorry for yourself for as many hours as it takes to exhaust the gloom and emerge renewed.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In the early days of the internet, “sticky” was a term applied to websites that were good at drawing readers back again and again. To possess this quality, a content provider had to have a knack for offering text and images that websurfers felt an instinctive yearning to bond with.

I’m reanimating this term so I can use it to describe you. Even if you don’t have a website, you now have a soulful adhesiveness that arouses people’s urge to merge. Be discerning how you use this stuff. You may be stickier than you realize!

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Ancient Mayans used chili and magnolia and vanilla to prepare exotic chocolate drinks from cacao beans. The beverage was sacred and prestigious to them. It was a centerpiece of cultural identity and an accessory in religious rituals. In some locales, people were rewarded for producing delectable chocolate with just the right kind and amount of froth. I suspect, Virgo, that you will soon be asked to do the equivalent of demonstrating your personal power by whipping up the best possible chocolate froth.

And according to my reading of the astrological omens, the chances are good you’ll succeed.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Do you have your visa for the wild side? Have

get your yoga on!

you packed your bag of tricks? I hope you’ll bring gifts to dispense, just in case you’ll need to procure favors in the outlying areas where the rules are a bit loose. It might also be a good idea to take along a skeleton key and a snakebite kit. You won’t necessarily need them. But I suspect you’ll be offered magic cookies and secret shortcuts, and it would be a shame to have to turn them down simply because you’re unprepared for the unexpected.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You’re like a prince or princess who has been turned into a frog by the spell of a fairy-tale villain. This situation has gone on for a while. In the early going, you retained a vivid awareness that you had been transformed. But the memory of your origins has faded, and you’re no longer working so diligently to find a way to change back into your royal form. Frankly, I’m concerned.

This horoscope is meant to remind you of your mission. Don’t give up! Don’t lose hope! And take extra good care of your frog-self, please.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): People might have ideas about you that are at odds with how you understand yourself. For example, someone might imagine that you have been talking trash about them — even though you haven’t been. Someone else may describe a memory they have about you, and you know it’s a distorted version of what actually happened. Don’t be surprised if you hear even more outlandish tales, too, like how you’re stalking Taylor Swift or conspiring with the One World Government to force all citizens to eat kale every day. I’m here to advise you to firmly reject all of these skewed projections. For the immediate future, it’s crucial to stand up for your right to define yourself — to be the final authority on what’s true about you.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):

schoolhouseyoga.com gentle yoga yin yoga ÁRZ \RJD meditation

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“God doesn’t play dice with the universe,” said Albert Einstein. In response, another Nobel Prize-winning physicist, Niels Bohr, said to Einstein, “Stop giving instructions to God.” I urge you to be more like Bohr than Einstein in the coming weeks, Capricorn. As much as possible, avoid giving instructions to anyone, including God, and resist the temptation to offer advice. In fact, I recommend that you abstain from passing judgment, demanding perfection and trying to compel the world to adapt itself to your definitions. Instead, love and accept everything and everyone exactly as they are right now.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Lysistrata is a satire by ancient Greek playwright Aristophanes. It takes place during the war between Athens and Sparta. The heroine convinces a contingent of women to withhold sexual privileges from the soldiers until they stop

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06.07/06.14.2017

fighting. “I will wear my most seductive dresses to inflame my husband’s ardor,” says one. “But I will never yield to his desires. I won’t raise my legs towards the ceiling. I will not take up the position of the Lioness on a Cheese Grater.”

Regardless of your gender, Aquarius, your next assignment is twofold: 1. Don’t be like the women in the play. Give your favors with discerning generosity. 2. Experiment with colorful approaches to pleasure like the Lioness with a Cheese Grater, the Butterfly Riding the Lizard, the Fox Romancing the River, and any others you can dream up.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Take your seasick pills. The waves will sometimes be higher than your boat. Although I don’t think you’ll capsize, the ride may be wobbly. And unless you have waterproof clothes, it’s probably best to just get naked. You WILL get drenched.

By the way, don’t even fantasize about heading back to shore prematurely. You have good reasons to be sailing through the rough waters.

There’s a special “fish” out there that you need to catch. If you snag it, it will feed you for months — maybe longer.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): If you chose me as your relationship guide, I’d counsel you and your closest ally to be generous with each other; to look for the best in each other and praise each other’s beauty and strength. If you asked me to help foster your collaborative zeal, I’d encourage you to build a shrine in honor of your bond — an altar that would invoke the blessings of deities, nature spirits and the ancestors. If you hired me to advise you on how to keep the fires burning and the juices flowing between you two, I’d urge you to never compare your relationship to any other, but rather celebrate the fact that it’s unlike any other in the history of the planet.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The Milky Way Galaxy contains more than 100 billion stars. If they were shared equally, every person on Earth could have dominion over at least 14. I mention this because you’re in a phase when it makes sense for you to claim your 14. Yes, I’m being playful, but I’m also quite serious. According to my analysis of the upcoming weeks, you will benefit from envisaging big, imaginative dreams about the riches that could be available to you in the future. How much money do you want? How much love can you express? How thoroughly at home in the world could you feel? How many warm rains would you like to dance beneath? How much creativity do you need to keep reinventing your life? Be extravagant as you fantasize.

Even if you don’t send it, write a letter to the person you admire most. Share it with me at Freewillastrology.com.

GO TO REALASTROLOGY.COM TO CHECK OUT ROB BREZSNY’S EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES AND DAILY TEXT-MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. THE AUDIO HOROSCOPES ARE ALSO AVAILABLE BY PHONE AT 1-877-873-4888 OR 1-900-950-7700

Savage Love {BY DAN SAVAGE}

I hate how my boyfriend has sex with me.

He is 40 years old. It used to be fine, but a year ago he started adding new moves he obviously got from porn: smacking my pussy with an open palm, vigorously rubbing my clit, wrapping his hands around my neck. I’m not anti-porn; what bothers me is that even though I told him these moves don’t feel good on my body and hurt me, he doesn’t care. I’ve told him that it is painful when he slaps and manhandles my clit, and he responds that he likes it and I should feel happy that he still wants to fuck me six times a week. It’s not that I don’t want him to enjoy himself, but I don’t feel like his enjoyment should come at the price of mine. I don’t know how to get him to listen to me.

PORN LESSONS ERASING ALL SEXUAL ENERGY

Your boyfriend listened to you, PLEASE. You told him you don’t like his porny new moves; he told you he likes them and intends to keep doing them. So this isn’t about listening — it’s about caring. Your boyfriend is hurting you and “he doesn’t care.” Dump the motherfucker already.

And while you’re not anti-porn, PLEASE, and I’m certainly not anti-porn, it would appear that porn — the default sex education for too many people, young and old — is part of the problem.

“The porn industry, like every other area of popular culture, is dominated by a closed loop of white guys talking to white guys about other white guys,” said Cindy Gallop, legendary advertising executive, consultant and public speaker.

“The most easily accessed mainstream straight porn is all about the man, with zero empathy for the female experience, taken to ludicrous (and for the woman, painful) extremes.”

Like you and me, PLEASE, Gallop is not anti-porn. But she’s fighting shitty porn — and the shitty expectations it can instill — with reallife contrast via her innovative #realworldsex site/platform MakeLoveNotPorn.com.

“It’s a social sex-video-sharing platform designed to be a counterpoint to the porn industry while promoting good sexual values and behavior,” said Gallop. “We need to be able to view great #realworldsex in all its messy, funny, beautiful, silly, wonderful, ridiculous humanness in the same medium that we view porn: online. That’s why MakeLoveNotPorn.com exists. We’re pro-sex, pro-porn and pro-knowing the difference.”

Gallop wants not only to balance out porn with socially shared #realworldsex, but to see the porn market flooded with porn made by women — which doesn’t mean porn made “for” women, she points out, but more disruptive, creative porn for everyone. “Seeing more innovative porn — porn that men would find just as hot — would result in everybody having a much better time in bed,” said Gallop. “Men need to see there is no bigger turn-on than being in bed with someone who you know is having an absolutely fabulous time because of you.”

Unfortunately, PLEASE, you’re having an absolutely miserable time because of him.

“PLEASE’s boyfriend is operating in his

own closed loop,” said Gallop, “the belief that sexual gratification is all about him. He has no idea what sexual gratification really could be.

She needs to leave him.”

You can find Cindy Gallop’s viral Ted Talk and a documentary about Make Love Not Porn at ifundwomen.com/projects/makelovenotporn.

Follow her on Twitter @CindyGallop.

I’m 28 years old and have been with my boyfriend (also 28) for three years. Our relationship is monogamous and vanilla.

I’m a pretty sexual person: I’ve been to bondage clubs and burlesque shows, and I’ve had my fair share of sexual encounters with men and women. I like to dominate and be dominated. However, my boyfriend is non-aggressive, non-dominating and non-initiating. I ALWAYS have to initiate and I’m ALWAYS in the driver’s seat. I’m tired of this. I enjoy strong masculine energy! I’m a feminist, but sometimes in the bedroom it can be incredibly hot to feel like a sex object. We’ve talked and talked, and tried some light bondage (he didn’t like it), and talked about a threesome (he’s opposed). He says sex just isn’t something he “thinks about a lot.” How do I get him to show some sexual aggression?

WANTS HIM AGGRESSIVE MORE

Keep reading, WHAM.

What have you always wanted to know about Pittsburgh?

My husband of 17 years has never been into sex — which I always knew was a problem, but the other stuff was good.

He’s into pornography, though, and I’ve busted him many times. To say I am resentful is an understatement. He uses corn oil for masturbating, and I’ve been reduced to marking the bottle and booby-trapping it to see if he’s been up to his tricks. We have two children, so that’s what keeps me from “pulling the trigger.”

“WHY DOES PITTSBURGH HAVE AN H IN IT?” “IS A PARKING-SPOT CHAIR LEGALLY BINDING?” “WHAT IS SLIPPY?”

“SHE NEEDS TO LEAVE HIM.”

Mike Wysocki has the answers.

GAGGING IN CHICAGO

(well...sorta)

GIC: You have three options.

1. Pull the trigger.

2. Redefine your marriage as companionate — it’s about child-rearing and family life, not about sex. If your husband is free to find fulfillment in the bottle (of corn oil), and you’re free to find fulfillment in the bedroom (of another man/men), maybe you can make it work.

3. Continue with what you’re doing now — your husband sneaking off to have a wank, and you monitoring (and booby-trapping?!?) every bottle of corn oil that comes into the house.

WHAM: Your boyfriend isn’t going to become someone else — he’s not going to suddenly become more interested in sex or more sexually aggressive — so if you don’t want to be sending me a letter like GIC’s in 14 years, end this relationship. People who want healthy, functional, monogamous LTRs — free from booby traps and busts — need to prioritize sexual compatibility at the start. That doesn’t mean things can’t go off the rails later (see the first letter), but they’re less likely to.

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SISTER ACTS {BY KIM LYONS}

THEY DRESS IN HABITS and minister to the community, but these nuns

are a little different than your usual sisters.

You may have seen them at the Three Rivers Arts Festival: dressed in white face, most with full beards. They’re the Steel City Sisters, “a 21stcentury order of queer drag nuns whose mission is to spread joy, stamp out guilt and serve our community,” says Sister Petra, a founding sister.

Sister Petra Pyper Pictapekhov, who asked that her real name not be used, explains that Steel City Sisters are a mission of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, meaning they’re still proving themselves to the larger organization, a nonprofit group with chapters around the world.

The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence started in the Castro neighborhood of San Francisco in 1979. The legend goes that a group of gay men came across some discarded nun costumes from an erstwhile production of The Sound of Music. It was Easter, and they decided to don the habits and walk around the neighborhood.

“They made such an impression on people with the look, and they realized they had a voice,” Sister Petra says. This was soon before the beginning stages of what became the AIDS crisis; the misunderstood disease was originally known as GRID, or gay-related immune disorder (or in more derogatory terms “gay cancer”).

{CP PHOTO BY JOHN COLOMBO}

Sister Petra of Steel City Sisters

Sister Petra was inspired to start Steel City Sisters a year ago, after the Pulse nightclub shooting in Orlando which left 49 people dead. The fact that the shooting occurred at an LGBTQ nightclub on the eve of Pride Week really motivated her to take action. “I wanted to do something, to have some agency in this world and cause positive change,” Sister Petra says.

Each house of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence focuses its charitable works on a specific need in the community. For some chapters, that may be helping fight drug abuse, or reducing the number of STDs. For the Steel City Sisters, there was almost unanimous agreement that

“IT’S NUNS HELPING ORPHANS, BASICALLY.” But during that time, the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence found their mission: ministering to HIV-positive people in the LGBTQ community, which in the early days meant comforting the sick and raising money for AIDS research. Nowadays, it means carrying safer-sex materials, including condoms, for distribution.

Sister Petra says the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence were responsible for creating the first safer-sex pamphlet that explained things in non-clinical terms. The Sisters were also part of the first AIDS memorial quilt, honoring 30 of their deceased members, affectionately known as the Nuns of the Above.

There’s a formal structure within the organization, much like the traditional Catholic religious orders of nuns. Would-be members go through stages, beginning as aspirants, working up to being postulants and then novices, performing missionary acts along the journey to becoming fully professed members.

For instance, one of the novices within the Steel City Sisters is working on a remembrance veil. It’s a take on a Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence tradition: a veil featuring the names of those in the community who have died from HIV/AIDS. The Steel City Sisters’ version will include the names of all those who have died in the local LGBTQ community.

It’s making the rounds at gay bars in the area for people to write the names of their loved ones and will be shared at the EQT Equality March on June 11.

they wanted to help Proud Haven, an organization that serves homeless LGBTQ youth. Many LGBTQ kids face identity-based rejection at home or at school, and end up in unstable living environments or homeless.

While Sister Petra has experience working with troubled and traumatized youth, who make up 40 percent of the national homeless youth population, most of what the Steel City Sisters do for Proud Haven focuses on raising awareness and money. Proud Haven doesn’t have its own shelter yet, which is one of the key goals.

“It’s nuns helping orphans, basically,” Sister Petra says.

The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence may not ascribe to all of the Catholic Church’s teachings, but Sister Petra says they and the chapters try to adopt the parts of the religion that foster kindness and ministry. And although the membership is predominantly gay men, anyone is free to join either Steel City of Perpetual Indulgence — “even cisgendered heterosexuals,” she adds. While they deal with serious issues of safer sex and homeless LGBTQ youth, the Steel City Sisters do put a big emphasis on spreading happiness.

The white face paint is actually a big part of that, which is a tradition that began with one Sister of Perpetual Indulgence, Sister Vicious Power Hungry Bish, who had worked in the theater. “It gives us a street-theater aspect,” Sister Petra says. “People really trust you when you’re wearing the white makeup. And I think it sends the message that if we can go out in the world looking like this, then you can be whoever you are.”

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