March 22, 2017 - Pittsburgh City Paper by Pittsburgh City Paper

Through May 21, 2017

DISCOVER THE BEAUTIFUL DUALITY OF SOCIAL INJUSTICE AND THE RESISTANCE THAT FOLLOWS.

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EVENTS 3.25 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: BANG ON A CAN: FIELD RECORDINGS Carnegie Lecture Hall (Oakland) Presented with Carnegie Nexus, as part of the Strange Times series and the Music on the Edge series of the University of Pittsburgh Department of Music, and the Pittsburgh Humanities Festival. Tickets $15/$12 members & students

3.26 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: ARDITTI QUARTET & ELLIOTT FISK The Warhol theater Co-presented with the Music on the Edge series of the University of Pittsburgh Department of Music FREE parking in The Warhol lot Tickets: advance $15/$10 students; door $20/$15 students; visit www.music.pitt.edu/tickets or call 412.624.7529

3.28 – 5-8pm TEACHER WORKSHOP: SYMBOLS AND NARRATIVE Tickets include museum admission, materials, and a private tour of Firelei Báez: Bloodlines. Tickets $30

4.1 – 10am-12pm HALF-PINT PRINTS The Factory Families work with The Warhol’s artist educators to create silkscreen prints during this drop-in silkscreen printing activity for children ages 1 to 4 years old. Free with museum admission

4.11 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: PETER EVANS SEPTET The Warhol theater Tickets $15/$12 members & students

2-17 — 5-21 Inspired by lineages of black resistance in works primarily of female subjects, Báez’s Bloodlines utilizes the history of social movements in the United States and the Caribbean to address contemporary issues with race and identity politics. Firelei Báez: Bloodlines is organized by Pérez Art Museum Miami Assistant Curator María Elena Ortiz. The Pittsburgh presentation is coordinated by Jessica Beck, The Warhol’s associate curator of art. Support for the Pittsburgh presentation is generously provided by Karen and Jim Johnson, Vivian and Bill Benter, Michele Fabrizi, and Kiya Tomlin. Firelei Báez: Bloodlines and its presentation at the Pérez Art Museum Miami was made possible by BNY Mellon with additional support from Chloé.

The Andy Warhol Museum receives state arts funding support through a grant from the Pennsylvania Council on the Arts, a state agency funded by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania; the National Endowment for the Arts, a federal agency and The Heinz Endowments. Further support is provided by the Allegheny Regional Asset District.

Image: Firelei Báez, Sans-Souci (This threshold between a dematerialized and a historicized body), 2015, collection Pérez Art Museum Miami, museum, purchase with funds provided by Leslie and Greg Ferrero and Rose Ellen Meyerhoff Greene

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CORNING

W OR K S

AND THE NEW HAZLETT THEATER PRESENT

THE GLUE FACTORY PROJECT dance theater productions

created on internationally & nationally renowned performers over the age of 40.

If we all witness the same event, at the exact same time, will our report of the moment be the same? What is the truth? Is there a truth? Whose truth is right? Whose is wrong? Whose perspective?

4 NIGHTS ONLY! MARCH 29, 30, 31 & APRIL 2 (no show on April 1 – no joke) The New Hazlett Theater, Northside ©WALSH PHOTOGRAPHY

Created in collaboration with, & performed by DONALD BYRD Choreographer for the award winning Broadway production of The Color Purple & BETH CORNING Lighting by IAIN COURT

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FOR TICKETS ONLINE: www.brownpapertickets.com FOR INFO: 412.320.4610 www.corningworks.org

BUS SERVICE TO THE NEW HAZLETT THEATER, NORTHSIDE

1-2-4-6-8-11-12-13-15-16-17-54 FOR MORE INFORMATION GO TO:

03.22/03.29.2017 VOLUME 27 + ISSUE 12

[EDITORIAL] Editor CHARLIE DEITCH News Editor REBECCA ADDISON Arts & Entertainment Editor BILL O’DRISCOLL Associate Editor AL HOFF Web Producer ALEX GORDON Staff Writers RYAN DETO, CELINE ROBERTS Music Writer MEG FAIR Interns JOHN HAMILTON, AMANI NEWTON, ALONA WILLIAMS

[ART] {COVER PHOTO BY JOHN HAMILTON}

[COVER STORY]

“I think if you decide to drop out of college to be a musician, you need to be meticulous in your planning.” PAGE 15

[NEWS]

“There’s always going to be a profit motive for a private company to come in.”

Director of Operations KEVIN SHEPHERD Production Director JULIE SKIDMORE Art Director LISA CUNNINGHAM Graphic Designers JEFF SCHRECKENGOST, JENNIFER TRIVELLI

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Tuesday, March 28th 1:00PM to 7:00PM

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News 06 News of the Weird 14 Music 15 Arts 25 Events 30 Taste 33

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“WE DON’T THINK ANY LEVEL OF PRIVATIZATION IS THE ANSWER TO PWSA’S PROBLEMS.”

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Our daily talk show, Lynn Cullen Live, recently moved to the Point Park Center for Media Innovation. Listen online at www.pghcitypaper.com.

The Pittsburgh Riverhounds start their season on March 25. Check out our slideshow from a recent preseason game online at www.pghcitypaper.com.

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If you’ve ever rolled your eyes at Pittsburgh’s Most Livable City title (or even if you haven’t), check out the latest CP Longform on travel writing at www.pghcitypaper.com.

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Aly Shaw of the Our Water Campaign

PRIVATE PARTS A

LMOST TWO years ago to the day, Pittsburgh City Paper published a story about Pittsburgh Water and Sewer Authority customers who were having trouble with their bills. In some cases, customers had not received a bill for months, and in other cases, the customers claimed their bills were wildly inaccurate. But this was just the tip of the iceberg of the authority’s problems. The following year, the city would learn of a more devastating crisis impacting PWSA customers: high lead levels in Pittsburgh’s water. Over the past two years, PWSA customers have muddled through one issue after another: poor customer service, faulty water meters, slow lead-testing results. But last month marked the

last straw for many after the authority issued a ﬂush-and-boil advisory amidst concerns of possible contamination. “The City of Pittsburgh owns the water and sewer system that was leased to the PWSA decades ago. It’s time to

Many Pittsburghers oppose public-private partnerships in the city’s water system {BY REBECCA ADDISON} reevaluate this structure,” Pittsburgh Mayor Bill Peduto said in a statement issued two days after the advisory. “After systemic problems with inadequate billing, lead in our service lines, and

this week’s ﬂush-and-boil water advisory, the City has the duty to ﬁnd new ways to improve our water services, and create the safe, effective and sustainable water authority our residents deserve.” As the city looks into restructuring its water system, the option of privatization has been raised. While Mayor Peduto says he will not fully privatize the authority, a public-private partnership is on the table. Privatizing water systems has become a contentious issue across the country, and Pittsburgh is the latest city to enter the fray. While national organizations tout the pros and cons of full privatization or public-private partnerships, local municipalities are left to sort through the rhetoric to determine what is best for their citizens. CONTINUES ON PG. 08

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“This is very early in the discussion, so I don’t think any of us have fully explored what either option would mean, and are all trying to do fact-finding,” says Pittsburgh City Councilor Deb Gross, who also serves on PWSA’s board of directors. “We want to hear from the public. It is currently the people’s water and sewer authority, so as council members we are here to protect the public’s interest and the common good.” In February, the city issued a request for proposals for an advisory team to manage PWSA’s restructuring. And this month, the mayor put together a panel to review and evaluate those submissions. Though it was not confirmed by the mayor’s office, other local officials and organizers say local utilities People’s Gas and Pennsylvania American Water are among the companies being considered for a public-private partnership. And while others wait to hear from the mayor’s panel on the issue, many, including Pittsburgh’s Our Water Campaign, are voicing their opposition to privatization of any kind. After all, they say, a public-private partnership is partly to blame for the mess PWSA currently finds itself in. “We don’t think any level of privatization, whether that’s full privatization

or public-private partnership, are the answer to PWSA’s problems,” says Aly Shaw, an environmental-justice organizer leading the Our Water Campaign. Opponents to privatization tout national research into private water companies. According to research by Corporate Accountability International, a Boston-based nonproﬁt that opposes corporate abuses, since 2000, 50 municipalities in the United States have taken their water systems out of private hands and put them back under public control. “The two things that clearly result from any type of privatization, and it’s been proven in water systems, is your rates are going to increase and your environmental standards are going to be lower,” says Allegheny County Controller Chelsa Wagner, who called on the city not to privatize PWSA. “It’s the same reason we don’t have private ambulances. We created a public ambulance system in the ’70s because private ambulances weren’t going to the Hill District. These are core essential needs, and it’s the very reason you have democratic government, so you can provide these services,” Wagner says. “If we’re saying, ‘Things are bad at the PWSA, we need to privatize,’ then the city

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.22/03.29.2017

might as well privatize public works, because I see a lot of potholes.” Both Wagner and Shaw say PWSA’s former partnership with private company Veolia Water North American is a prime example of why the city should keep private companies out of Pittsburgh water. Veolia has been accused of changing PWSA’s corrosion-control chemical without clearing it with the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Protection, and many cite this change as the cause of high lead levels in the city’s water. “We already saw how Veolia’s contract went in Pittsburgh back in 2012, when they had a profit incentive to cut costs and cut staff. They illegally changed the corrosion-control chemical that PWSA used,” says Shaw. “That partnership didn’t lead to any solutions or any improvements to PWSA’s water quality or service, so we’re not really sure why the city would want to enter into a public-private partnership again. “We don’t think any private company would be any different. There’s always going to be a profit motive for a private company to come in. There’s always going to be ratepayers that need to pay extra to cover the profit of that com-

pany. We are against any public-private partnerships, and want to see expanded public control.” The city has since filed a lawsuit against Veolia, but Veolia maintains that it is not at fault for the change in chemicals. “The 2014 change from soda ash to caustic soda was not initiated by (or at the direction of) Veolia’s team nor was it part of Veolia’s and PWSA’s contract metrics. Veolia did not and would not prioritize cost savings ahead of effective corrosion-control methods or water quality. Veolia in no way received any financial payment related to PWSA’s decision to change corrosion control,” Veolia North America said in a statement. But even if you ignore the case of Veolia, opponents say private companies are profit-driven. According to the nonprofit consumer-rights group Food and Water Watch, private water companies charge ratepayers on average 59 percent more than publicly owned water companies. This amounts to an average of $189 annually per customer. “I think regardless of who the private partner being contemplated is, it should be a non-starter,” Wagner says. “Water should never be in any conversations of being for-profit. It’s unbelievable that

they would be proposing that.” But opponents of privatization do acknowledge that restructuring is necessary. PWSA has more than $760 million in debt and has seen frequent leadership turnover in recent years. In light of these issues, Shaw says her coalition would support hiring a consultant to develop a long-term plan for the authority. “Some sort of restructuring will likely have to happen. We just want to make sure that ratepayers and the public are given the opportunity to give their input,” Shaw says. “We have to be really, really wary of any sort of profit motive, but we have made it clear that if a consulting firm or experts in this come in, help devise that long-term plan, and then remove themselves after, I think that would be fine.” The city also faces deteriorating infrastructure that PWSA officials say has led to thousands of pipes breaking annually. But despite Pittsburgh’s infrastructure needs, Shaw says the authority should be wary of models of public-private partnerships that involve private-equity firms funding large infrastructure projects, a practice she says actually make them more expensive to the public in the long run and less transparent.

“In the 1800s, water systems were largely private water companies, and service was so bad and public health was so bad, and equity was nonexistent. Poor parts of cities just were not served,” Gross says. “So about 100 years ago, we went to mostly public systems, and we saw the improvement of public health for vast amounts of the population.” Before any decision about privatization can be made, Gross says private companies interested in working with Pittsburgh’s water system must be interviewed in public meetings. “It’s really important to ask, ‘What will the rates be?’ It’s my understanding now that Penn American rates are higher than PWSA’s,” Gross says. “What does their infrastructure look like? How do they do on conservation? How do they do on equity issues?” Today, according to the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, 90 percent of the public is served by public water systems. And Gross says that’s what most of the people she’s talked to support. “In conversations that I’ve had,

Ultimately, Pittsburgh City Council will have to approve any public-private partnership contract and councilors like Gross are currently examining the pros and cons of such partnerships and how to address PWSA’s problems. “At this stage in the conversation, I keep thinking, ‘We’re not talking about an authority of the stadiums or an authority of parking.’ This is an authority of our water, and it’s fundamental to people’s health,” Gross says. “We have a lot of big questions. How do we rebuild? This isn’t about maintaining infrastructure. It’s not 50 years ago, when our system was only about 50 years old. Our system is collapsing. Obviously we need to start rebuilding for the next 100 years. How do we do that and not put it on today’s pocketbooks?” Gross points to history as an example of how private water companies can spell disaster for consumers. And she says research shows that public water systems have a much higher level of responsiveness to environmental and conservation issues.

“IT’S THE SAME REASON WE DON’T HAVE PRIVATE AMBULANCES.”

whether with constituents or advocates in my district, I’ve heard only support for keeping our system public,” Gross says. “But we have really important questions in front of us, so we need all the brain power we can get to solve this.” And Gross says one of the most important questions is how the city will address its growing infrastructure needs. PWSA is required to replace 7 percent of its lead service lines every year due to the high lead levels detected. Each line costs approximately $2,000 to replace. “We are going to need a tremendous amount of capital, and I don’t think we have been keeping that in front of us,” says Gross. “We’ve sort of been kicking it down the road.” Delay in addressing deteriorating infrastructure can lead to rate increases, says Michael Deane, executive director of the National Association of Private Water Companies. But Deane challenges the idea that privatization automatically leads to rate increases. He says rate increases often occur when a water system undergoes infrastructure upgrades regardless of who’s in charge. “Bringing in a private partner does not inherently raise rates,” Deane says. “The easiest way to keep rates low is to CONTINUES ON PG. 10

New from Pittsburgh: Nonstop flights to Germany.

Starting June 23: Fly nonstop from Pittsburgh to Frankfurt and beyond.

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Slice On Broadway’s Featured Pizza Week Pizza: Since 2010, Slice on Broadway’s three locations have had a pretty simple business strategy — skip the gimmicks and use only fresh ingredients. For Pizza Week, Slice on Broadway will feature “The Guido,” a pie with sausage, red onions and green and red peppers. Check this pizza out at one of three locations. SLICE ON BROADWAY Carnegie Beechview PNC Park

let your system fall apart and not make the investments you need, and unfortunately far too many utilities in this country are doing exactly that. But there are a lot of utilities that are putting in place very robust rate increases because they need to make those investments. “Many utilities that don’t bring in a private partner are increasing rates as well. It’s a very simplistic look, saying ‘OK, a private partner comes in, rates go up.’ No, it’s because a municipality is making investments that need to be made along with a private partner.” PWSA has seen several rate increases over the past few years, and last year the board approved rate increases that will equal an average of 13 percent for 2017 (or about $83 per year) and 8 percent for 2018. And Deane says private water companies are uniquely poised to help municipalities address problems like those being experienced at PWSA. He points to places like York, Pa., which have had a private water utility for more than 200 years, as a testament to their success. “We believe that the members of our association have great expertise. We’re

professional water-management companies. It’s what we do all the time. We have great access to technology and capital, and these tools serve us well,” Deane says. “In many cases we find, particularly, smaller municipalities struggling with technology or with workforce — we have an aging workforce in this industry — and we’re able to bring in experts who can provide those services.” But opponents of privatization stress that a public-private partnership isn’t the key to fixing PWSA’s problems. They also say it’s important to realize Pittsburgh’s water-system problems are not unique. “Our campaign wants to make sure we clear the narrative that’s going around that PWSA’s problems are all due to mismanagement. This isn’t just a PWSA issue,” Shaw says. “A lot of water authorities are struggling from a lack of federal and state funding. A lot of them got hit in the financial crisis. So we really want to push that this isn’t just a public-mismanagement problem. This is a problem with a lot of complex factors, and public control really needs to be at the center of these conversations.” RA D D I S ON @ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.22/03.29.2017

The Animal Rescue League/Western PA Humane Society is partnering with Goodwill of Southwestern Pennsylvania to host a

Donation Drive Fundraiser! You can help the Animal Rescue League/ Western PA Humane Society raise money by simply donating your gently used:

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NORTHSIDE SHELTER: 1101 Western Avenue Pittsburgh, PA 15233

SUNDAY, APRIL 9 10AM - 1PM EAST END SHELTER: 6926 Hamilton Avenue Pittsburgh, PA 15208

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CLEAN UP Lincoln-Lemington brownfields present development challenges {BY RYAN DETO} DEVELOPMENT IN Pittsburgh’s East End is

hot, but venture east of Washington Boulevard and few signs of new construction are present. While East Liberty, Bloomfield, Shadyside and Larimer are seeing new highend apartments, big-box stores, restaurants and even affordable-housing projects, Lincoln-Lemington is still waiting for a boom. Lincoln-Lemington is mostly residential and contains about 4,500 residents, who are generally older and black. The neighborhood of more than 1.5 square miles has only two small convenience stores that offer mostly candy, pop and cigarettes. But there is a new commercial development coming that some hope will turn the tide. At the corner of Deary Street and Lincoln Avenue, Family Dollar is planning to build a new store on the site where an industrial-laundry facility and gas station once sat. And redeveloping abandoned, possibly contaminated, industrial sites like this, known as brownfields, could mean a lot for Lincoln-Lemington, says Pittsburgh City Councilor Ricky Burgess. “This becomes the first step to make our community better,” says Burgess. However, some longtime residents are concerned that plans might be moving too fast, and that environmental cleanup efforts might not be adequate. They worry that if the Family Dollar development moves forward without precaution, it could set a bad precedent for future developers to ignore the desires of the community. At a community meeting at Pearson Recreation Center on March 11, representatives from Cozza Enterprises, which owns the site and is developing it for Family Dollar, met with about 40 concerned citizens.

{CP PHOTO BY RYAN DETO}

Community sign across the street from the potential Family Dollar lot in Lincoln-Lemington.

Cozza recently conducted some environmental cleanup of the site by removing several underground gasoline-storage tanks and other contaminants. Cozza also hired an outside ﬁrm, Cribbs and Associates, Inc., to test the soil and groundwater for contaminants. “We are working with the state and meeting all of the cleanup standards,” said Matt Crawford, of Cozza, at the meeting. “We, the state, our contractor and Family Dollar all want the site clean and safe, and that is the path we have followed.” Bob Botterman, a hydrogeologist at Cribbs, said at the meeting that soil and water testing showed impacts from contamination that were “extremely minimal.” Most of the site showed contamination levels below state standards; however, two testing wells showed groundwater containing levels of gasoline-related contaminants

slightly above state minimums for residential properties. On a commercial site, those levels wouldn’t violate state Department of Environmental Protection standards. But because groundwater can migrate off site, there are concerns about contamination of nearby residential properties. However, Botterman said, by the time water moved off site, the levels would most likely be under the state minimums, lowered by naturally occurring bacteria present underground. Arnold Perry, of the Silverlake Community Improvement Group, lives about 100 yards from the site. His group spent years doing groundskeeping at the site, which was city-owned, before it was sold to Cozza for $9,000 in 2006. Perry says he knows the land always had contamination issues, and he could smell a foul stench when Cozza started digging up the

“BEFORE THEY DO ANY DEVELOPMENT, IT’S GOT TO BE CLEAN.”

property a few months ago. He’s still concerned his neighbors could be exposed to contaminants. Contaminated soil can be dangerous if people ingest food grown in it, and children are vulnerable if they touch contaminated soil then place their hands in their mouth before washing. “Before they do any development, it’s got to be clean,” says Perry. “The soil affects everything.” In an email to City Paper, DEP regional spokesperson Lauren Fraley wrote that Cozza has yet to submit a cleanup plan, even though the company has already begun remediation by removing underground tanks, and that the DEP hasn’t received any documentation on the site since 2007. Despite the concerns of residents, Councilor Burgess said at the meeting that the levels tested onsite were common among brownﬁelds, and development shouldn’t slow down. “Given the fact that we have such low concentrations, there is a good chance it will naturally break down,” said Burgess. He said attracting private development is the only way to remediate the environmental problems. “Many of our low-income neighborhoods are lacking development,” said Burgess. “We need new investment.” Andre Young is a property owner in Lincoln-Lemington who attended the meeting. He said he might be interested in developing more properties in the neighborhood if there were a stronger environmental commitment from other developers. He would like to see Cozza place a layer of clay over the contaminated section of land, to trap contaminants underground. “If a human life is worth a few extra dollars, then we should spend it,” says Young. “Look into the future and do a little bit more than the state requires. Prepare for the longrange health of the neighborhood.” Crawford said at the meeting that Cozza is still committed to developing the site, and that more community meetings are to come. RYA N D E TO@ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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2-D REVOLUTION Retro Gaming Expo celebrates a renaissance of old-school video-game design

Love Sports?

{BY ALEX GORDON}

Compassionate Certification Centers Presents the 2017

IN THE NINTENDO game Haunted Hal-

loween ’85, 10-year-old Donny Johnstown oversleeps after a night spent playing NES, Nintendo’s first gaming console that debuted in the ’80s. When he gets to school, he discovers his entire town of Possum Hollow has been taken over by an army of aliens, ghosts and zombies. In his Pirates cap and matching jersey, Donny must rid the town of the evil spirits before it’s too late. You don’t remember this game from your childhood because it’s only two years old. The Pittsburgh-based Retrotainment, which specializes in retro-game design, released Haunted — on an actual NES cartridge — in 2015 to wide acclaim, and this year, it followed up with a sequel called Haunted Halloween ’86. At the Pittsburgh Retro Gaming Expo, at the Ace Hotel on Sat., March 25, attendees get a chance to demo Halloween ’86, as well as play, sell, trade and buy other old-school games on consoles ranging from Atari to Dreamcast (sorry, no ColecoVision as of print date). While this isn’t the first similarly focused event to hit the Pittsburgh region, this year marks the biggest iteration, featuring vendor booths from studios including Nintendo, Windy Gaming, Tiltcycle and Stone Age Gamer, as well as tournaments for Super Smash Bros. and Street Fighter IV. “Retro” is a subjective term, depending on your age and when you stopped playing video games. “Everybody’s kind of got their own definition for it,” says Brian Wissner of Pittsburgh Retro Gaming, which organized the expo alongside the Pittsburgh-based videogame developer Mega Cat Studios. PRG co-founder Colt Dalmaso describes it as “anything that gives you nostalgia.” “For more of a preservationist standpoint, which I consider myself, I view it as anything that’s two generations old,” says Wissner. By that definition, that means Game Cube, Playstation 2 and Dreamcast now fall under the “retro” umbrella. Wissner and Dalmaso founded Pittsburgh Retro Gaming, in 2013, as a Facebook group to bring together like-minded gamers and provide a network for trading and selling old cartridges. Around the same time, Mega Cat Studios started organizing events also called Pittsburgh Retro Gaming,

MEDICAL CANNABIS

{SCREENSHOT COURTESY OF RETROTAINMENT}

Donny Johnstown in Haunted Halloween ’85

April 21-22, 2017

though it focused more on conventions and expos. The two entities co-existed for a few years before recognizing that it made more sense to join forces and collaborate under one name. This month’s expo marks the first event organized by the united group. In an age saturated by 1990s nostalgia and rebootery, it’s not all that surprising that retro gaming has made a comeback. But Wissner says it’s not just about nostalgia. “I think the key to it is the simplicity of play, and not necessarily that the game is simple, but that the mechanics are simple and therefore, you don’t spend an hour when you sit down to play the game for the first time in a tutorial,” says Wissner. Big studios in modern gaming seem to put a priority on complexity, whether in graphics, plotline or game play. Iconic games from the early 2000s, like the Grand Theft Auto franchise, led to a focus on open-world, free-roaming game play, where players can explore vast spaces without time constraints or specific achievements. But independent studios in the past decade have drawn the industry back toward oldschool, traditional game play.

David L. Lawrence Convention Center, Pittsburgh, PA

You DON’T WANT TO MISS THIS EVENT! Meet M eet eexx NNFL FL pplayer layer

Ricky Williams

RETRO IS “ANYTHING THAT GIVES YOU NOSTALGIA.”

amongg m many any oother ther ffamous amous aathletes thletes aat the upcoming Expo on April 21-22, 2017.

PITTSBURGH RETRO GAMING EXPO 10 a.m. Sat., March 25. Ace Hotel (in gym), 120 S. Whitfield St., East Liberty. $15 (proceeds from the event benefit Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh). www.pittsburghretrogaming.com

“I’ve heard it described by artists that sometimes being limited in what you can do in a game is actually more stimulating creatively than being told you can do whatever you want,” says Wissner. “If I sit down in front of a game that’s open-world, I get bored very quickly. … But something like Shovel Knight or Mario Brothers that’s on a 2-D plane, it’s very clear what your goals are, but it’s not necessarily clear how you accomplish them. You’ve got to ﬁgure it out for yourself.”

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S E N D YO UR WE I R D N E WS TO W E I RD N E W S @ E ART HL I NK . N E T O R WWW. NE WS O F T HE WE I R D. C OM

{BY CHUCK SHEPHERD}

Open M ic Stan d up co med Hosted y by Elliott burns

Perhaps there are parents who (according to the Cinepolis movie chain) long to watch movies in theaters while their children (ages 3 and up) frolic in front in a “junglegym” playground inside the same auditorium. If so, the company’s two “junior” movie houses (opening this very week in San Diego and Los Angeles) may bring a new dimension to “family entertainment.” Another view, though, is that the noise (often “screaming”), plus the overhead lighting required for parents to monitor their tykes’ equipment-usage, plus the planned $3-per-ticket surcharge, will soon create (according to the Guardian critic) a moviegoing “apocalypse.”

2 12 6 E . C a r s o n S t

Ev er y Mo nd ay !

Can’t Possibly Be True: (1) The U.S. Patent and Trademark Office in January granted IBM’s 2010 application for a patent on “out-ofoffice” email message software (even though such messages have, of course, been ubiquitous for two decades), after the company finally convinced examiners that its patent had enough software tweaks on it to qualify. (Critics, such as the Electronic Frontier Foundation, laughed at the uselessness of the tweaks.) (2) Also in January, the office granted Daniel Dopps a patent for “adhesive vaginal lipstick,” which his Mensez Technologies claims can cause the labia minora to tighten so strongly as to retain menstrual fluid until the woman can deal with buildup in privacy.

What have you always wanted to know about Pittsburgh?

“WHY DOES PITTSBURGH HAVE AN H IN IT?” “IS A PARKING-SPOT CHAIR LEGALLY BINDING?” “WHAT IS SLIPPY?” Mike Wysocki has the answers. (well...sorta)

SNAP US YOUR PITTSBURGH QUESTIONS!

News of the Pretentious: (1) Why live with a cat if one cannot take it out for some wine? The Apollo Peak in Denver and the Pet Winery in Fort Myers, Fla., serve a variety of the real grape to humans and nonalcoholic proprietary drinks for the kitties to enjoy tableside (or underneath). “Pinot Meow” ($12) in Denver and “Meow and Chandon” ($15) in Fort Myers, are specialties — basically watered catnip, according to a February New York Times report (so the felines can also get buzzed). The wine outing is the human’s preference; of course, with a loftier cachet than the “happy hour” most cats might prefer (say, a “sardine bar”). (2) “I tried the $5,000 hamburger, and it was absolutely worth it,” wrote the apparently straight-faced CNBC reviewer Robert Frank in February, describing his meal at the Las Vegas Mandalay Bay restaurant Fleur. (The burger included Waygu beef, foie gras and truffles, and was served with a similarly inexplicably priced wine.) Other recent consumer challenges: an $18 cup of coffee at Brooklyn’s Extraction Lab; a $100 bottle of Norwegian iceberg water (Svalbardi.com); a $2,000 pizza at New York City’s Industry Kitchen (caviar, truffles, gold flakes); and a $25,000 taco at the Grand Velas Los Cabos resort in Mexico (caviar, brie, Kobe beef, langoustine lobster, rare tequila — and once again with the gold flakes).

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Anglers fighting to preserve choice spots on the fishing pier on Sebastian Inlet, north of Vero Beach, Fla., have taken to tossing lead weights and other items at “competitors,” especially those who approach the pier to fish

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.22/03.29.2017

directly from their boats. Such territory-marking by the “piersters” includes, according to a February report in Florida Today, perhaps a version of classic mammal behavior, like strategic urination and hurling their feces at the waterborne invaders.

Government in Action: (1) Illinois has problems: a $130 billion unfunded pension crisis, 19 months without a budget, the lowest credit rating and highest property taxes in the country, and the murder rate in Chicago. However, at least the state house of representatives is not standing by idly. In February, it moved to designate October 2017 as Zombie Preparedness Month (basically, adding “zombie invasion” to the list of mobilizations for any natural disaster and urging residents to stockpile food and supplies for up to 72 hours). (2) Lawyers for former U.S. Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr. have convinced federal officials that his bipolar disorder was “caused” by the stress of being a congressman and thus that he is entitled to “total disability” worker compensa-

tion for an “on-the-job” injury — and thus to about $100,000 a year, tax-free, according to a February Chicago Tribune report. (Jackson, 51, also receives Social Security disability payments.) Lawyers said his disorder (often attributed to genetic factors) surfaced during an investigation into Jackson’s looting of his campaign treasury for luxury goods and vacations (charges eventually settled with a guilty plea). Jackson dated his onset to June 2012, meaning that his last 72 House votes came while “totally” disabled.

Wrong Place, Wrong Time: “Life’s full of peaks and valleys, man,” Californian Georgiy Karpekin told a reporter, but Jan. 18 seemed all valley. Karpekin has both a pickup truck and a car, and as he was leaving Sacramento City College that day during violent storms, a falling tree crushed the truck. When he got home, he learned that the same storm had taken down another tree — on top of his car. (Karpekin, insured and uninjured, called himself “the luckiest guy.”)

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“I HAVE MY JOB; I GO THERE, I DO MY WORK, AND WHEN I’M DONE, IT’S ALL MUSIC ALL THE TIME.”

BEAT

{BY ALEX GORDON}

Ten years ago, the Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra realized it was sitting on a vast collection of historic materials from its 120-plus-year run. It had thousands of show programs, posters and audio recordings, but no catalogue detailing how much it had and what exactly the materials held. With a series of grant-funded projects, the PSO began the exhaustive process of archiving the materials and making them accessible to the public. This month, thanks to an award from the National Endowment for the Arts, the PSO debuted the first iteration of its digital archives, allowing researchers and music fans from around the world to explore the materials remotely. But Carolyn Friedrich, the archivist behind the project, says there’s still a lot of work to be done. For example, the PSO has an estimated 5,000 reels of audio recordings of performances dating back to its move to Heinz Hall in the early 1970s. Four thousand have been archived, and 300 have been digitized, but only about 65 are available to the public. Digitizing and sharing these audio performances are Friedrich’s next priorities. The primary goals for the archive are accessibility and preservation, the latter of which turns out to be one of the project’s biggest challenges, since tape has a limited lifespan before the magnetic material disintegrates. “There’s a preservation issue. The best professionals will give you the estimate that we have maybe 10 to 15 years to preserve this magnetic media,” says Friedrich. “Well, they made that estimate several years ago, so we’re running on borrowed time.” In addition to the posters, programs and audio recordings, the archive catalogues information about performances dating back to the 1890s. Each entry lists the date and year, conductor, composer and soloists, which is way more fun to explore than you’d expect. Example: Did you know Vladimir Bakaleinikov conducted DeBussy’s “Claire Du Lune” at the Syria Mosque, in Oakland, in November 1947? He did. “[The archive] really highlights how connected the symphony is to the Pittsburgh community, and we just really see it as a way that we can give back and share that,” Friedrich says. ALEXGORDON@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

Check out the archives at archive. pittsburghsymphony.org. NEWS

Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra at work {PHOTO COURTESY OF WADE MASSIE}

OPERATION ARCHIVE

{CP PHOTO BY JOHN HAMILTON}

Amir Miles: “I have to be all in.”

ALTERNATIVE APPROACH {BY CHARLIE DEITCH}

COULD BARELY hear Amir Miles as we talked brieﬂy in the Rex Theater on March 2. He had just opened for GZA, the legendary lyricist of the Wu-Tang Clan, and the crowd was already in full throat as the main event took the stage. Most of the conversation was drowned out by the music and the fans, but seven words suddenly rose above the racket: “Man, I really fucking love this new record!” A few days earlier, Miles and his producer, Nxfce (pronounced “no face”), released a new alt-R&B single, “Bad Habits.” In fact, when we met a week later, at a Starbucks in Oakland, Miles was still singing its praises. “I’m really pushing this song,” he said. “I’m pretty proud of it.” Miles isn’t the only fan. The tune was recently featured on a Spotify playlist called Fresh Finds. It received 60,000 listens — in one day. (It currently has more than 80,000.) Miles was psyched by the reception the song got, but he wasn’t surprised. He pre-

dicted the song “would be big” during the Starbucks chat. After all, it’s part of the detailed plan that the 21-year-old musician has laid out for himself. Download Amir Miles new single, “Bad Habits,” at www.pghcitypaper.com and find more of his music at www.soundcloud.com/amirmiles

Raised by a single mother in Chicago, he moved to Washington, D.C., at age 11. He started his music career playing bass guitar in bands. At age 16, he started taking lessons to learn the six-string, and began singing and writing music during his senior year in high school. He came to the University of Pittsburgh in 2015 and, along with Tory Hains, his dorm’s resident assistant, he won Pitt’s annual hip-hop contest that year. The pair then got the opportunity to open for hip-hop artist Lupe Fiasco. It was his ﬁrst

show, and he hasn’t looked back since. MIles began concentrating full time on his music; his grades fell from As and Bs to much worse than As and Bs. He spent about 18 months working on a 10-song mixtape, Blue, and by the end of his sophomore year, he decided to take a long hiatus from school. But just because he’s not in school doesn’t mean he’s without direction. It’s quite the opposite, actually. “My plan isn’t to go back to school if things take off,” Miles says. “My plan now is to go back on the house circuit until the summer and then start opening up for acts, just getting my name out there. So, the Blue mixtape was me ﬁnding my lane. My next EP, Vintage, is me laying the foundation and reﬁning my sound. I’m also collaborating with Nxfce on an EP. The whole strategy is to keep building on what I have, and by summer 2018, I want to be well established on the college circuit and then move to Los Angeles, maybe sign with an indie label.” CONTINUES ON PG. 16

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These are just the broad strokes of Miles’ plan. He has every minute detail planned out. “I think if you decide to drop out of college to be a musician, you need to be meticulous in your planning,” he says. “At least that’s how I have to approach it. “I have to be all in. Right now, I have my job; I go there, I do my work, and when I’m done, it’s all music all the time.” So far, things are going well. Aside from playing house shows and opening for GZA at the Rex, Miles also opened for GZA in D.C., a few days after the Pittsburgh show. In fact, CP heard of Miles after a rep for the Wu-Tang lyricist told us that GZA had heard Miles’ music, become a fan and asked him to open. Miles is a melodic artist who embraces the alt-R&B genre popularized at the start of the decade by artists like Frank Ocean and The Weeknd. There’s more than just soul in the music; it is also influenced by rock, EDM and hip hop. Miles counts Ocean and The Weeknd among his influences, but says there are too many contemporary artists who aren’t doing anything to advance the genre. Miles’ music isn’t dark and angstfilled but subtly sexy, thanks to his lyrics and the raw quality to his voice. His vocals put a modern spin on classic R&B style, and his beats have a contemporary feel. “The problem is, after The Weeknd, you have all of these artists, and yeah, fuck it, I’ll call out names, like Roy Woods, 24hrs and Majid Jordan, who are turning out these dark, moody R&B songs that are just very uninspired,” Miles says. “It’s not fresh. There’s a lot of Auto-Tune, because it’s a lot of people who can kind of sing, but not really. It’s just the same kind of shit. “They’re just trying to recreate what The Weeknd had, but you can’t because it’s already happened. You have to grow upon it; be inspired by the moodiness or the lyrics, but add something new to it. I have to make sure that I don’t fall into that same trap.” When Miles first started playing guitar and writing his own music, he was inspired by melody and beats. Even when he was covering artists, he never looked up stems, he put his own spin on the music. He went online and immersed himself in different beats and instrumentals, and in the process discovered his own sound. “Look at artists who are popular now, like The Weeknd before he got big, Young Thug, Drake and Miguel, it’s all melody,” Miles says. “Now, working with Nxfce, I go in, we listen to beats, jam and play off the instrumental and when it’s right, you just feel it. “It’s a very organic process, not a technical one. Creating music this way makes it a lot easier for me to know what’s good and what isn’t.” C D E I T C H @ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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G A A N D AV B OD T I N ND HE A S

WE HOLD HANDS AND WE JUMP ENDLESS BUMMER

4 4/ /4 4/ 18 - D 2 5 - R AV - A OB INA VE ER A RA T G ND RO GE LA TH BE W SP E V HI ER A RT TE E GA GL BA XP BO AS ND ER ND IM S PE EN R T E

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TR AV EL ER S

{BY MEG FAIR}

PRESENTED BY

We Hold Hands and We Jump is an “anonymous” songwriter in Pittsburgh whose music teeters from traditional acoustic singer/songwriter to bedroom pop to early-2000s emo. His latest self-titled effort shows his range regarding concepts of love and pained self-examination. At times the album feels too ambitious, with cacophonous activity swirling in at unexpected moments. The bedroom-recording feel keeps it somewhat contained, which stifles the chance for big movements to shine.

THE SONG BEGINS WITH WARM ACOUSTIC GUITAR AND THE QUIET SOUND OF CICADAS CHIRPING. That being said, the arrangements are smart, and WHHAWJ manages to hold interest even for songs that last up to 10 minutes. Some of the most beautiful moments are found in these longer tracks, like “Shichikokuyama.” The song begins with warm acoustic guitar and the quiet sound of cicadas chirping in the background. The cicadas return when WWHAWJ poses the gentle question, “How long before the bender starts to break?”, before beginning a grand-piano outro drenched in fuzz. It’s touches like these, cicadas and fuzzy room recordings, that make the album novel and intimate. WWHAWJ also has a gift for dramatic flair. It appears with “Romance,” in which desperate, earnest vocals mingle with layers of horns, synth and distorted guitar. It returns to finish off the album with “Love Is …,” which riffs on Bette Midler’s “The Rose,” with a youthful, lovesick angst that resolves itself into bittersweet acceptance. It’s clear WWHAWJ is a songwriter who’s not afraid to show his neck and be vulnerable, nor is he afraid to take musical risks, which mostly pay off. M E G FA I R@ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.22/03.29.2017

{PHOTO COURTESY OF MACLAY HERIOT AND ATLANTIC RECORDS}

Portugal. The Man

CAUSING COMMOTION {BY MEG FAIR} PORTUGAL. THE MAN has been quiet for several years. After the wildly infectious Evil Friends was released, in 2013, the band spent several years working on a new album to be called Gloomin + Doomin. But the group struggled; the members felt trapped and tortured by the album’s lack of cohesion. In a creative rut, singer and guitarist John Gourley went to visit his father in his home state of Alaska. A conversation with the elder Gourley about his experience at the 1969 Woodstock music festival inspired John to rekindle the way that era’s music interacted with the political landscape so directly. The band decided that Gloomin + Doomin was not the record for this point in time, and scrapped it. But although the group was back to square one, there was no lack of inspiration, explains bassist Zach Carothers by phone. There’s no release date for the new record, Woodstock, but its ﬁrst single has emerged, and the band’s kicked off a six-week tour, which hits Mr. Smalls on March 27. The band hopes that Woodstock will inspire a return to collective empathy, emulating the unity and desire for action that surrounded the original Woodstock. “It’s so powerful seeing people uniting for a common cause. Seeing people come together is the most beautiful thing,” says Carothers. There’s a good chance Portugal. The Man will share parts of Woodstock on this tour, but how much will be revealed is still a mystery, even to the band. It’s a safe bet show-goers will hear “Feel It Still,” a playful showcase for the stark jux-

tapositions that make Portugal. The Man’s music so interesting. The groovy bass line and irresistible hook make for a song that oozes coolness, touching on decadent rebellion “just for kicks” as a way to seriously poke at the dangers of apathy. Although the song’s protagonist might use rebellion as an accessory, the video for the single serves as a subversive rallying cry to push back against the system. Working with ad agency Wieden+Kennedy, the band crafted an interactive video featuring 30 “Easter eggs” that ultimately create a #Resistance toolkit. When viewed on http://feelitstill.com, the video features clickable pop-up links that take the viewer to, say, donation pages for Planned Parenthood and the ACLU, or sites detailing how to stencil and place wheat-paste street art.

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PORTUGAL. THE MAN WITH HDBEENDOPE

8 p.m. Mr. Smalls, 400 Lincoln Ave., Millvale. All ages. 412-821-4447 or www.mrsmalls.com

At one point in the video, a Sikh man tosses away a burning newspaper titled “Info Wars” in exchange for the “Combat fake news” Easter egg. This prompted Alex Jones, the goblin-disguised-as-a-man who runs Infowars.com, to post a ranting video in which he manically chastised the band for insinuating his outlet was the enemy. A headline on InfoWars this month referred to the band as “Pro-Soros Rockers.” “We were deﬁnitely expecting backlash, but that escalated so quickly!” says Carothers, laughing. “But it’s good to cause some kind of commotion.” Still, Carothers says he didn’t expect it to be so polarizing: “Since when is standing up for human rights a radical action?”

MONDAY, MARCH 27, 2017 7 PM • BYHAM THEATER TRUSTART S.ORG • BOX OFFICE AT THE ATER SQUARE 412-456-6666 • GROUPS 10+ TICKETS 412-471-6930

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* Homes that have 3 or more bedrooms or require a more involved cleaning will fall under the $88 new customer special, or $20 an hour after the first two hours.

LANDMARKS PRESERVATION RESOURCE CENTER

4/ 12 | 7:00 PM | AA

OF THE MISFITS 4/ 14 | 7:00 PM | AA

- A program of the Pittsburgh History & Landmarks Foundation Foundation

Join us at the Landmarks Preservation Resource Center for ongoing workshops as we continue programming on architecture, history, design, urban planning, and other topics related to how cities function and historic preservation as a tool of community development.

THURSDAY, MARCH 23 • 6:00 TO 7:30 P.M.

WORKSHOP: MODULAR BUILDING IN PRACTICE IAN MILLER • Construction/ General Contractor There are different types and techniques of modular building and construction being used to increase efficiency and quality, lower cost and quicken building times. These include panelized systems, wood-frame modular, shipping container housing and others. In this workshop, we will look at the pros and cons of this style of building in new, additions, and temporary construction. ABOUT THE PRESENTER: Ian Miller has been a general contractor since 2003 with projects ranging from changing a doorknob to building a $1.5 million house for fifteen retired nuns. He is the owner of Zambano & Sons, a residential remodeling company, as well as partner in the HL2M Group, a design/build firm focused primarily on modular and shipping container construction. Ian and his family live in a 100-year old house in Friendship.

4/ 18 | 7:00 PM | AA

4/20 | 7:00 PM | AA

Lynn Cullen Live CD RE LE AS E S H OW 4/22 | 7:00 PM | AA

Center for Media Innovation 4/26 | 7:00 PM | AA

5/6 | 7:00 PM | AA

FEATURING

CHRIS JERICHO 5/ 16 | 7:00 PM | AA

6/ 10 | 7:00 PM | AA

744 REBECCA AVENUE

WILKINSBURG, PA 15221

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.22/03.29.2017

412-471-5808

The show, presented by Pittsburgh City Paper in conjunction with Point Park University, airs daily at 10 a.m. at

www.pghcitypaper.com 5/ 17 | 7:00 PM | AA

THIS WORKSHOP IS FREE TO PHLF MEMBERS. NON-MEMBERS: $10. RSVPS ARE APPRECIATED: MARYLU@PHLF.ORG OR 412-471-5808 EXT. 527 FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT WWW.PHLF.ORG

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Aaron Lee Tasjan

[INDIE FOLK] + SAT., MARCH 25 Twangy charm and accessibly poetic lyrics first draw you into the music of Aaron Lee Tasjan, performing tonight at Club Café. His latest release is 2016’s Silver Tears, a collection of smart, soulful cowboy ditties like the endearing ballad “Memphis Rain” and “Hard Life,” which sounds like a country-fried “Coconut” by Harry Nilsson. Whatever preconceptions you might have about modern country can be left at the door. Joining Tasjan tonight is super-talented local songster Paul Luc. Alona Williams 7 p.m. 56 S. 12th St., South Side. $12. 412-431-4950 or www.clubcafelive.com

his mother to cancer. His melodic, impassioned shouts guide the intense riffage and driving drums that flurry into an emotional storm that serves as a celebratory memorial to his mother’s life, while standing as a monument to his sorrow and struggles. Catch Touché at Cattivo with the progressive punk rockers of Edhochuli and hardcore punk outfit Concealed Blade, sure to induce two-stepping and headbanging that will make you look so tough that everyone will forget you spent 40 minutes (justifiably) crying to Touché. MF 6:30 p.m. 146 44th St., Lawrenceville. All ages. $13-15. 412-687-2157 or www.cattivopgh.com

[ELECTRIC CHAMBER] + SAT., MARCH 25 Combining multimedia visuals with experimental chamber arrangements, the composers and musicians of Bang on a Can All-Stars join forces to create an audiovisual experience that escorts audiences into different worlds. Their work has included everything from folky, technical jaunts such as “Gene Takes a Drink” and “Reeling,” from Field Recordings, to playful and diverse arrangements like “Matt Damon,” from Big Beautiful Dark Scary, as well as the eerie ambience of Anthracite Fields. At The Andy Warhol Museum tonight, Bang on a Can will perform the majority of Field Recordings with film elements to match the audio cinema being constructed and deconstructed on stage. Meg Fair 8 p.m. 117 Sandusky St., North Side. $12-15. 412-237-8300 or www.warhol.org

[PUNK] + MON., MARCH 27 Touché Amoré bursts with a passionate energy and poetic honesty. This is especially true of the band’s latest release, Stage Four. The album takes the listener into the world of vocalist Jeremy Bolm as he copes with the grief of losing

NEWS

simon garfunk

&garfunkel undsSounds of of simon& THIS WEEKEND!

FRIDAY, MARCH 24 AT 8:00 P.M. FRIDAY, MARCH P.M. SATURDAY, MARCH 24, 25 AT8:00 8:00 P.M. SATURDAY, 25,2:30 8:00 SUNDAY, MARCH MARCH 26 AT P.M.P.M.

Touché Amoré

SUNDAY, MARCH 26, 2:30 P.M. Michael Krajewski, conductor

[SKA PUNK] + TUE., MARCH 28 Known for its eclectic sound and uncommon blend of punk, ska, rock and a handful of other genres, Fishbone has been a standout since 1979. From that unique perspective, its abrasive social and racial commentary brings nuance to a topic more commonly explored in hip hop. Tonight at the Rex Theater, the band plays its 1996 concept record, Chim Chim’s Badass Revenge, in its entirety. Although the lineup has gone through its share of shakeups, the group will be joined by former guitarist John Bigham (who previously played with Miles Davis) and original drummer Phillip “Fish” Fisher. AW 8 p.m. 1602 E. Carson St., South Side. $18-23. 412-381-6811 or www.rextheater.com

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AJ Swearingen & Jonathan Beedle Michael Krajewski, conductor

& Jonathan Beedle Theirs wasAJ the Swearingen harmony of a generation. Michael Krajewski conducts this tribute, featuring Simon and Garfunkel’s greatest hits: “The of Silence,” Fair,” “Mrs. Robinson,” “Bridge rs wasSound the harmony of a“Scarborough generation. Michael Krajewski conducts this tribute Over Troubled Water,” “The Boxer” and many more. ng Simon and Garfunkel’s greatest hits: “The Sound of Silence,” “Scarboro Mrs. Robinson,” “Bridge Over Troubled Water,” “The Boxer” and many m

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TO SUBMIT A LISTING: HTTP://PGHCITYPAPER.COM/HAPPENINGS 412.316.3388 (FAX) + 412.316.3342 X165 (PHONE) {ALL LISTINGS MUST BE SUBMITTED BY 9 A.M. FRIDAY PRIOR TO PUBLICATION} MR. SMALLS THEATER. Enter Shikari. Millvale. 412-821-4447. SMILING MOOSE. Pop Punk Night. South Side. 412-439-5706. SUB ALPINE CLUB. King’s Ransom. Turtle Creek. 412-823-6661.

ROCK/POP THU 23

CATTIVO. Thieves & Lovers w/ Saybrook, Tough Night on Carson & Jack Romanov. Lawrenceville. 412-687-2157. CLUB CAFE. The Commonheart Voodoo Glow Skulls. South Side. CLUB CAFE. Chuck Prophet & 412-431-4950. the Mission Express. South DIESEL. Roots of Side. 412-431-4950. Creation, Hop A Train. PALACE THEATRE. South Side. America w/ The Bricks. 412-431-8800. Greensburg. HOWLERS. The Van 724-836-8000. www. per Allen Belt, Femina X, pa THE R BAR. Billy The pghcitym André Costello & Robin .co Kid & the Regulators. Vote. Bloomfield. Dormont. 412-942-0882. 412-414-4213. SPIRIT HALL & LODGE. JAMES STREET GASTROPUB Tara Elliott w/ John Vento. & SPEAKEASY. Same, YRS, All proceeds will benefit Journey Hearken, Swampwalk. Forward Pittsburgh, bettering North Side. 412-904-3335. lives of those with spinal cord STAGE AE. Cold War Kids injuries. Lawrenceville. w/ Middle Kids. North Side. 412-969-7197. 412-229-5483.

SUN 26

FULL LIST ONLINE

RREESSEEAARRCCHH SSTTUUDDYY

Borderline Pe r s o n a l i t y D i s o r d e r The University of Pittsburgh and UPMC are seeking men and women ages 18 to 45 to take part in a research study of borderline personality disorder. To participate, you must have symptoms of the disorder, which may include: troubled personal relationships, chronic feelings of emptiness or boredom, difﬁculty controlling anger or frustration, mood swings, self-destructive or impulsive behaviors, or history of self-inﬂicted pain or injury. Participants are interviewed about their moods, behaviors, and personality traits and will be compensated up to $125 upon completion of the interviews. Some participants may also undergo an fMRI scan. There is no cost for this procedure. Participants are compensated $50 upon completion of the fMRI. For more information, call 412-246-5367.

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.22/03.29.2017

BLOOMFIELD BRIDGE TAVERN. Wimpy Rutherford & The Cryptics, The Scratch ‘N Sniffs, Playoff Beard. Bloomfield. 412-682-8611. BRILLOBOX. The Red Western, Chet Vincent & The Big Bend, The Standard Moves. Bloomfield. 412-621-4900. CLUB CAFE. Jayna Lininger w/ Tim & Kori Danielle Nicole. South Side. 412-431-4950. DIESEL. So This Is Suffering w/ Lorelei & Signs of the Swarm. South Side. 412-431-8800. FRANKIE I’S. Hellin Back. Washington. 724-743-3636. GOOSKI’S. Cell, Remwar, CHILLER, Unreliable Narrator. Polish Hill. 412-681-1658. KENDREW’S. Bleach Fuzz. Moon. 724-375-5959. THE MR. ROBOTO PROJECT. Shellshag, Wild Pink, Jack Swing, Space Buns Forever & Fourhearts. Bloomfield. 412-706-1643.

TUE 28 CLUB CAFE. The Roomsounds.

WED 29 CLUB CAFE. Paper Bird. South Side. 412-431-4950. THE MR. ROBOTO PROJECT. Nana Grizol, Rue, Calyx & Lawn Care. Bloomfield. 412-706-1643. MR. SMALLS THEATER. Architects w/ Stray From The Path, Make Them Suffer. Millvale. 412-821-4447. SPIRIT HALL & LODGE. Big Bliss, Fruit & Flowers w/ Dinosoul. Lawrenceville. 412-586-4441.

DJS THU 23 BELVEDERE’S. Y2K No Radio Dance Party. Lawrenceville. 412-687-2555. MR. SMALLS THEATER. Centrifuge Thursdays. At the Funhouse. Millvale. 412-821-4447. PERLE CHAMPAGNE BAR. Bobby D Bachata. Downtown. 412-471-2058.

MP 3 MONDAY AMIR MILES {CP PHOTO BY JOHN HAMILTON}

FRI 24

South Side. 412-431-4950.

Read our n ry o v co er sto s

ile Amir M 15 on page

SAT 25 BAJA BAR AND GRILL. Dancing Queen Band. Fox Chapel. 412-963-0640. CLUB CAFE. Aaron Lee Tasjan. South Side. 412-431-4950. DOWNEY’S HOUSE. Nicky Mo & The Mamalukes. Robinson. 412-489-5631. GOOSKI’S. Wreck Loose w/ Kayla Schureman, Room & Board. Polish Hill. 412-681-1658. THE MR. ROBOTO PROJECT. CityCop, Alomar, Rchrd Prkr & Sick Bay. Bloomfield. 412-706-1643.

Each week, we post a song from a local artist, for free online. This week’s MP3 Monday comes from rising alt-R&B singer/songwriter Amir Miles. The single is “Bad Habits,” off his upcoming EP Vintage, due out this summer. Stream or download the track for free at FFW>>, the music blog at pghcitypaper.com.

EARLY WARNINGS

ANDYS WINE BAR. DJ Malls Spins Vinyl. Downtown. 412-773-8884. BELVEDERE’S. Bruneaux, Killjoy & Get Nasty. Lawrenceville. 412-687-2555. THE FLATS ON CARSON. Pete Butta. South Side. 412-586-7644. ONE 10 LOUNGE. DJ Goodnight, DJ Rojo. Downtown. 412-874-4582. RIVERS CASINO. VDJ Stasko. North Side. 412-231-7777. ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance. South Side. 412-431-2825. RUGGER’S PUB. 80s Night w/ DJ Connor. South Side. 412-381-1330.

COUNTRY THU 23

{PHOTO COURTESY OF BEN ROUSE}

FRI 24

ELWOOD’S PUB. Midnight Rooster. Rural Ridge. 724-265-1181.

of Montreal

SAT 25 565 LIVE. The Shiners. Bellevue. 412-301-8158. THE PARK HOUSE. Beagle Brothers. North Side. 412-224-2273.

CLASSICAL FRI 24 PNC POPS: SOUNDS OF SIMON & GARFUNKEL. Heinz Hall, Downtown. 412-392-4900.

SAT 25 BELVEDERE’S. Kayne Night w/ DJ ADMC Down N Derby. Lawrenceville. 412-687-2555. CATTIVO. Eyejay w/ Seams. Lawrenceville. 412-726-0061. DIESEL. DJ CK. South Side. 412-431-8800. MIXTAPE. DJ Antithesis. ‘The 1990s (& a bag of chips)’ dance party. Garfield. 412-661-1727. PERLE CHAMPAGNE BAR. DJ Tenova. ladies night. Downtown. 412-471-2058. REMEDY. Dance Crush. Lawrenceville. 412-781-6771. ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance. South Side. 412-431-2825.

SAT 25 PNC POPS: SOUNDS OF SIMON & GARFUNKEL. Heinz Hall, Downtown. 412-392-4900. SOUND SERIES: BANG ON A CAN - FIELD RECORDINGS. Carnegie Lecture Hall, Oakland. 412-237-8300. WESTMORELAND SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA. Presenting Rachmaninoff’s 3rd number. Palace Theatre, Greensburg. 724-836-8000.

[FRI., APRIL 07]

Dogbreth, Lisa Prank Mr. Roboto Project, 5106 Penn Ave., Bloomfield [WED., APRIL 19]

Betty Who Rex Theater, 1602 E. Carson St., South Side [TUE., APRIL 25]

of Montreal

TUE 28

Mr. Smalls, 400 Lincoln Ave., Millvale

THE GOLDMARK. Pete Butta. Reggae & dancehall. Lawrenceville. 412-688-8820.

WED 29 SMILING MOOSE. Rock Star Karaoke w/ T-MONEY. South Side. 412-431-4668. SPOON. Spoon Fed. East Liberty. 412-362-6001.

HIP HOP/R&B TUE 28 JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. STOV. North Side. 412-904-3335.

BLUES

Jam Session. Ballroom. North Side. 412-904-3335. VALLOZZI’S PITTSBURGH. Eric Johnson. Downtown. 412-394-3400.

ELWOOD’S PUB. Jack of Diamonds. Rural Ridge. 724-265-1181. MOONDOG’S. Meow Prowl w/ Shot O’ Soul & Norman Nardini. Blawnox. 412-828-2040. ROY’S BY THE TRACKS. Strange Brew. Finleyville. 724-348-7118. WHEELFISH. The Blues Orphans. Ross. 412-487-8909.

SAT 25 STAGE AE. Jimmy Adler Band w/ John Gresh’s Gris Gris. North Side. 412-229-5483. ZANDERS SPORTS BAR & NIGHT CLUB. Strange Brew. Monroeville. 724-387-2444.

JAZZ

THU 23 DOWNEY’S HOUSE. Jay Wiley. Robinson. 412-489-5631.

FRI 24

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Roger Humphries

NEWS

WED 29

FRI 24

1810 TAVERN. RML Jazz. Bridgewater. 412-370-9621. ANDORA RESTAURANT FOX CHAPEL. Pianist Harry Cardillo & vocalist Charlie Sanders. Fox Chapel. 412-967-1900.

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Tony Campbell Saturday Afternoon Jazz Session. North Side. 412-904-3335. THE MONROEVILLE RACQUET CLUB. Jazz Bean Live. Every Saturday, a different band. Monroeville. 412-728-4155.

565 LIVE. New World Trio. Bellevue. 412-301-8158.

SIMON VULLO UNDERINER. First Lutheran Church, Downtown. 412-471-8125.

SAT 25

OTHER MUSIC

ELWOOD’S PUB. Jeff Conner & Mike Huston. Rural Ridge. 724-265-1181. TAVERN IN THE WALL. Peter King w/ Mark Perna & Marc Reisman. Aspinwall. 412-782-6542.

THU 23 LINDEN GROVE. Karaoke. Castle Shannon. 412-882-8687. RIVERS CASINO. Hewlett Anderson Duo. North Side. 412-231-7777.

WED 29

FRI 24

ROCKS LANDING BAR & GRILLE. Tony Campbell & the Jazz Surgery. McKees Rocks. 412 - 857- 5809.

ALLEGHENY ELKS LODGE #339. Pittsburgh Banjo Club. Wednesdays. North Side. 412-321-1834. PARK HOUSE. Shelf Life String Band. North Side. 412-224-2273. WHEELFISH. Jason Born. Ross. 412-487-8909.

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Teresa Hawthorne, Legacee & DJ Rick the RULER. 70s party. North Side. 412-904-3335. LINDEN GROVE. JukeBox Band. Castle Shannon. 412-882-8687. RIVERS CASINO. Darryl & Kim Duo. North Side. 412-231-7777.

MON 27

REGGAE

SAT 25

SUN 26

HAMBONE’S. Ian Kane, Ronnie Weiss & Tom Boyce. Jazz Standards, showtunes & blues. Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318.

RIVERS CLUB. Jessica Lee & Friends. Downtown. 412-391-5227.

MUSIC

PIRATA. The Flow Band. Downtown. 412-323-3000.

RIVERS CASINO. The Hobbs Sisters. Drum Bar. On the Level. Levelz. North Side. 412-231-7777.

FRI 24

SUN 26

CAPRI PIZZA AND BAR. Bombo Claat w/ VYBZ Machine Intl Sound System. East Liberty. 412-362-1250.

ANDY WARHOL MUSEUM. Sound Series: Arditti Quartet & Elliott Fisk. North Side. 412-237-8300.

THU 23

WED 29

THU 23

LENTEN CHORAL VESPERS. First Lutheran Church, Downtown. 412-471-8125. PNC POPS: SOUNDS OF SIMON & GARFUNKEL. Heinz Hall, Downtown. 412-392-4900.

ACOUSTIC

SAT 25

FRI 24

SUN 26

ARTS

EVENTS

TASTE

SCREEN

SPORTS

CLASSIFIEDS

PAID ADVERTORIAL SPONSORED BY

What to do March

22 - 28

IN PITTSBURGH

WEDNESDAY 22 FRIDAY 24 245 Tchaikovsky + The Music of Drake

Sounds of Simon & Garfunkel

HEINZ HALL Downtown. 412-392-4900. Tickets: pittsburghsymphony. org. 6:30p.m.

HEINZ HALL Downtown. 412-392-4900. Tickets: pittsburghsymphony. org. Through Mar. 26.

The Revivalists

Pittsburgh Humanities Festival

MR. SMALLS THEATRE Millvale. 412-421-4447. With special guest Atlas Road Crew. All ages show. Tickets: ticketweb.com/opusone. 8p.m.

THURSDAY 23 Waxahatchee & Kevin Morby

CARNEGIE LECTURE HALL Oakland. 412-622-3131. With special guest Mary Lattimore. All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 8p.m.

SATURDAY 25

STAGE AE North Side. With special guest Middle Kids. All ages show. Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 1-800-745-3000. Doors open at 7p.m.

SMILING MOOSE South Side. 412-431-4668. With special guests Sylvan LaCue, Joseph Chilliams, MFnMelo & Shad Ali. All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 6:30p.m.

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.22/03.29.2017

ANDY WARHOL MUSEUM North Side. For tickets and more info visit warhol.org. 8p.m. THE PALACE THEATRE Greensburg. With special guest The Bricks. Tickets: thepalacetheatre.org or 724-836-8000. 7p.m.

MONDAY 27

One Night of Queen BYHAM THEATER Downtown. 412-456-6666. Tickets: trustarts.org. 7p.m.

21+ Night: Outer Space CARNEGIE SCIENCE CENTER North Side. Over 21 event. For tickets and more info visit carnegiesciencecenter.org. 6p.m.

Sound Series: Arditti Quartet & Elliott Fisk

America

CULTURAL DISTRICT Downtown. For tickets, schedules, and more info visit trustarts.org/smarttalk. Through Mar. 26.

Saba Cold War Kids

WAXAHATCHEE CARNEGIE LECTURE HALL MARCH 23

Nevada Color

Green Day

José Can Speak

CATTIVO Lawrenceville. 412-687-2157. With special guests Daily Grind & Jacob Klein Band. All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly.com. 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 6:30p.m.

PETERSEN EVENTS CENTER Oakland. With special guest Against Me!. All ages show. Tickets: livenation.com, ticketmaster.com or 1-800-745-3000. 8p.m.

ALLOY STUDIOS Friendship. Tickets: cafeconlechepgh.com/ jose-can-speak. 3p.m. & 7p.m.

Turandot BENEDUM CENTER Downtown. 412-456-6666. Tickets: pittsburghopera.org/ turandot. Through Apr. 2.

SUNDAY 26

Kathy Griffin’s Sound Series: Bang on Celebrity Run-In Tour a Can: Field Recordings BENEDUM CENTER CARNEGIE MUSIC HALL Oakland. For tickets and more info visit warhol.org. 8p.m.

Downtown. 412-456-6666. Tickets: trustarts.org. 7:30p.m.

Voodoo Glow Skulls CLUB CAFE South Side. 412-431-4950. With special guests Soulios & iNCO FIdO. Over 21 show. Tickets: ticketweb.com/opus one. 8p.m.

TUESDAY 28

Graeme of Thrones BYHAM THEATER Downtown. 412-456-6666. Tickets: trustarts.org. 7:30p.m.

[DANCE]

“WHEN RACISM COMES, IT REALLY DOESN’T DISCRIMINATE.”

BETTER ANGLES {BY STEVE SUCATO}

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

WHAT’S MISSING? 7 p.m. Wed., March 29; 8 p.m. Thu., March 30; 8 p.m. Fri., March 31; and 2 p.m. Sun., April 2. CorningWorks at the New Hazlett Theater, 6 Allegheny Square East, North Side. $25-30; April 2 show is pay-what-you-can. 412-320-4610 or www.corningworks.org NEWS

[TALK]

T S U J T NO G N I D D KI RISCOLL}

{BY BILL O’D

Beth Corning and Donald Byrd in WHAT’S MISSING? {PHOTO COURTESY OF WALSH PHOTOGRAPHY}

For over 15 years, dancer/choreographer Beth Corning’s Glue Factory Projects have celebrated artists over 40 in dancetheater works that have been topical, probing and universal, all touching on our humanity. The latest in the series might be its most high-profile as she joins forces with dance legend Donald Byrd (known for his work with Alvin Ailey Dance Theater and Donald Byrd/The Group) for CorningWorks’ WHAT’S MISSING?, with four performances March 29-April 2 at the New Hazlett Theater. Perspective and perception are the name of the game in WHAT’S MISSING? A launching point for the hour-long, intermissionless work for these two dancers is a quote from Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius: “Everything we hear is an opinion, not fact. Everything we see is perspective, not the truth.” In a political climate where the meaning of “truth” is considered fluid, and facts take a back seat, WHAT’S MISSING? offers a timely exploration of how people’s experiences, motivations and vantage points color their perceptions of the same event. The work is set to an eclectic mix of music, from classical to jazz, and is performed in the round. “We are allowing the audience to see what is happening from very different perspectives, literally and figuratively,” Corning says. Byrd, 67, has performed rarely in recent decades, and the work has reminded him that he cannot move the way he used to. “I had to go to the floor the other day, and those boney knees hitting the floor were like, ‘Oh, lordy,’” he quips. “What is in my head and what I know will be seen [by audiences] are two completely different things, and I accept both of them as a kind of reality.” Byrd’s reality and how others will see his dancing are a metaphor for the content in WHAT’S MISSING? that seeks to challenge audience perceptions about what they are seeing and what the performers’ genuine intentions are. Both Byrd and Corning say audiences will need to watch with eyes wide open, and be active participants. “The work is existential in some ways,” says Byrd. “It’s intriguing, provocative and I think [it] will resonate with people.”

HEN THE JON Stewart of Egypt couldn’t live in Egypt anymore, he moved to the U.S. But now that he’s here, Bassem Youssef keeps seeing all the ways that politics in the two countries are the same. “The fact that you have thin-skinned dictators who are pretty much offended by any joke is a feature that we are pretty much used to in the Middle East,” quips Youssef by phone. “The demagoguery, the brainwashing, the alternative facts, all has been a stable part of our political life for decades.” Youssef, 43, a cardiac surgeon by training, was once the quick-witted if unlikely host of AlBernameg, the Daily Show-like satiric news program that was Egypt’s highest-rated TV show. Youssef’s mockery of the government got him arrested and interrogated; in 2014, under a military regime, AlBernameg was cancelled. Youssef moved to the States last year. He lives in Los Angeles but spoke with CP from New York City, where he was riding a media whirlwind promoting Revolution for Dummies, his new memoir about life in the Middle East during the Arab Spring and the 2011 Egyptian revolution. Last week, Youssef was preparing for TV appearances with Stephen Colbert,

{PHOTO COURTESY OF MUSTAPHA AZAB}

Bassem Youssef

Trevor Noah and Samantha Bee, capped on March 21 by a talk at New York’s famous Town Hall.

PITTSBURGH HUMANITIES FESTIVAL Fri., March 24-Sun., March 26. Various venues. Individual events: $10-50; all-access passes: $45-120. 412-456-6666 or www.trustarts.org

This Saturday, he co-headlines the Pittsburgh Humanities Festival — one of more than two dozen programs under the theme Being Human. (See sidebar for details.) Last year, during campaign season,

Youssef made a series of short online videos for the Fusion network — interviewing Donald Trump supporters, training Bernie Sanders backers for revolution. Telegenic and ﬂuent in English, he seems a natural at comedy, for which he credits American TV itself. “Actually, it is quite interesting how sitcoms and American dramas prepare you to live in the United States,” he says. “The only difference is, instead of watching it, you just have to experience it. For example, being on hold for hours when you are in the process of getting medical insurance.” While Youssef’s Humanities Festival talk is titled “The Joke Is Mightier CONTINUES ON PG. 26

MUSIC

ARTS

EVENTS

TASTE

SCREEN

SPORTS

CLASSIFIEDS

NOT JUST KIDDING, CONTINUED FROM PG. 25

Than the Pen,” he turns serious when discussing how repression in Egypt foreshadowed political events here. While Muslims have been targeted in the U.S., he says, “Muslims should not be the only ones who should worry about it, because when racism comes, it really doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t look at your ID, it doesn’t look at your religion. We have seen Indians being killed and targeted, being mistaken for Muslims. … Under fear, under oppression, the authorit[ies] will ﬁnd a way to silence whatever dissent it is. Even if you’re a white American, even if you’re privileged,

you will not be able to speak against the government, because in the time of war, in the time of battle, in the time of turmoil, any voice of dissent or opposition will be viewed as unpatriotic, un-American and against the will of the people.” But Youssef says he’s not as worried about Trumpism as all that might make him sound. “If one man could bring down 400 years of democracy, that will be very interesting to see,” he says. “And if the price of [one] election will be the destruction of the democratic establishment, it just means that this has been a very, very fragile establishment.”

“IT IS QUITE INTERESTING HOW SITCOMS AND AMERICAN DRAMAS PREPARE YOU TO LIVE IN THE UNITED STATES.”

D RI S C OL L @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

Kathleen Neal Cleaver

TALKING IT UP The second Pittsburgh Humanities Festival, presented by the Pittsburgh Cultural Trust and the Humanities Center at Carnegie Mellon University, runs March 24-26, with about 30 programs of “smart talk that matters” on the theme of Being Human by scholars, artists, writers and more. Most of the on-stage interviews and conversations take place at Downtown venues, including the Trust Arts Education Center, the Harris Theater and the Byham Theater. The three featured presenters include: the writers of The Onion (March 24), the Facebook-winning satirical news organization that gave us headlines like “Drugs Win Drug War”; Egyptian satirist Bassem Youssef (March 25, see main feature); and writer, scholar and former Black Panther official Kathleen Neal Cleaver and activist and former Black Panther Denise Oliver-Velez (March 26). Guests at a series of daytime Core Conversations, many running simultaneously at multiple venues, include: author and Penn State literature professor Michael Berube; Dance Theatre of Harlem Artistic Director Virginia Johnson; documentary filmmaker Steve James (Hoop Dreams); Carnegie Mellon art professor Suzie Silver (A Presentation of Queer Media Projects); University of California scholar Elizabeth Watkins (“On the Pill”); poet and former National Endowment for the Arts chair Dana Gioia; local comics creators Yona Harvey and Ed Piskor; famed Village Voice rock critic Robert Christgau; and Syrian-born writer Osama Alomar. “Partner events” include a dance performance, a concert and film screenings. Tickets for the three featured events are $15-50 each. Core Conversations are $10-20 each. All-access passes are $45-120. Partner events are ticketed separately. BY BILL O’DRISCOLL

For a complete schedule, see www.trustarts.org/smarttalk.

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.22/03.29.2017

[ART REVIEW]

Â&#x201D; Â&#x2019;Â&#x2020;Â&#x2014;Â&#x2014;Â&#x17E; Â&#x2122;Â?Â&#x160; Â&#x2014;Â&#x17D;Â&#x201C;Â&#x2C6;Â&#x160;Â&#x2DC;Â&#x2DC;Ć˝ Â&#x17E;Â&#x201D;Â&#x161; Â&#x2019;Â&#x161;Â&#x2DC;Â&#x2122; Â&#x2DC;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2018;Â&#x203A;Â&#x160; Č&#x17E; Â&#x2014;Â&#x17D;Â&#x2030;Â&#x2030;Â&#x2018;Â&#x160;Â&#x2DC;Ç¤ Â&#x2020; Â&#x2DC;Â&#x17D;Â&#x201C;Â&#x152;Â&#x2018;Â&#x160; Â&#x153;Â&#x2014;Â&#x201D;Â&#x201C;Â&#x152; Â&#x2020;Â&#x201C;Â&#x2DC;Â&#x153;Â&#x160;Â&#x2014; Â&#x2014;Â&#x160;Â&#x2DC;Â&#x161;Â&#x2018;Â&#x2122;Â&#x2DC; Â&#x17D;Â&#x201C; Â&#x2030;Â&#x160;Â&#x2020;Â&#x2122;Â?Ç&#x201E;

(BE)LONGING

Jackie Hoystedâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s painting â&#x20AC;&#x153;Kiss These Secret Stonesâ&#x20AC;?

{BY NATALIE SPANNER} BoxHeart Gallery is a wonderland on a Sunday afternoon, part boutique and part gallery. Living-room furniture decorates the entrance, easing visitors into the intimate and compelling body of work by Irish-born, Maryland-based multimedia artist Jackie Hoysted. Conflicted fits well on the first floor of BoxHeart, embracing all of what this galleryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mission craves: â&#x20AC;&#x153;tragic and wonderful realities.â&#x20AC;? Ironically, Conflicted, an ardent exploration of belonging, is perfectly at home here. Hoystedâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s focus and skill are notable in individual pieces, and thrilling in the context of the complete exhibition. Hoysted communicates complex emotional histories in her acute self-portraiture by use of visual motifs: limiting subjects to head and shoulders; a solitary line to substitute for the backbone or the rest of the body; black and white palettes with splashes of color; and poignant titles referencing Gaelic myth or Irish localisms. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Medb Doth Spilleth Overâ&#x20AC;? differs, as the face is more defined, and the use of green deftly references the Celtic mother goddess. Hoysted continuously examines nostalgia: Does she feel blessed or cheated? â&#x20AC;&#x153;Sorrowâ&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;Libertyâ&#x20AC;? are similar in style and in portrait outline to the others, except for the backbone line, which looks like itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s full of musical notes. The angle of that line is usually perpendicular to the bottom of the page, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s parallel in â&#x20AC;&#x153;Libertyâ&#x20AC;? and diagonal in â&#x20AC;&#x153;Sorrow.â&#x20AC;? Hoysted creates her own set of rules, then breaks them. This choice has a distinct emotional effect. Exceedingly deliberate, her construction method mirrors her conceptual processes. She paints on Dura-lar, a translucent, protective covering used for drafting. This slippery, malabsorptive surface sometimes causes her colors to run together. The technique takes patience, and the paint takes a long time to dry. In â&#x20AC;&#x153;Frail,â&#x20AC;? the precise delicacy in one blob of paint transforms it into the subtle dangling of a collarbone. Hoysted simultaneously manages to excite a detail-driven brain and massage a grief-stricken heart. Hoysted confronts big questions. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Identity,â&#x20AC;? on black arches paper, is the most efficient of her larger pieces. Are we nothing more than a collection of patterns, motifs repeated over and over? Without an outline to our form, what keeps us from floating or melting away? Throughout this show, nothing is resolved, but it feels like Hoystedâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s getting closer to something. Homing in. INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

JACKIE HOYSTED: CONFLICTED continues through Fri., March 24. BoxHeart Gallery, 4523 Liberty Ave., Bloomfield. 412-687-8858 or www.boxheart.org. NEWS

MUSIC

ALEXANDRA LOUTSION as Princess Turandot

THIAGO ARANCAM as Prince Calaf

WEI WU as Timur

MARIA LUIGIA BORSI as LiĂš

ÇŚ Č?Č Ć˝ Č?ČŁĆ˝ Č&#x17E;Č&#x153;Ćž Č? ÇŚ Â&#x160;Â&#x201C;Â&#x160;Â&#x2030;Â&#x161;Â&#x2019; Â&#x160;Â&#x201C;Â&#x2122;Â&#x160;Â&#x2014; ÇŚ Â&#x17D;Â&#x2C6;Â?Â&#x160;Â&#x2122;Â&#x2DC; Â&#x2DC;Â&#x2122;Â&#x2020;Â&#x2014;Â&#x2122; Â&#x2020;Â&#x2122; Č&#x2013;Č&#x153;Č? ÇŚ Č&#x;Č&#x153;Č?Ç&#x201A;Č&#x;Č ČĄÇ&#x201A;ČĄČĄČĄČĄ Â&#x201D;Â&#x2014; Â&#x2022;Â&#x17D;Â&#x2122;Â&#x2122;Â&#x2DC;Â&#x2021;Â&#x161;Â&#x2014;Â&#x152;Â?Â&#x201D;Â&#x2022;Â&#x160;Â&#x2014;Â&#x2020;Ç&#x20AC;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2014;Â&#x152;Ç Â&#x2122;Â&#x161;Â&#x2014;Â&#x2020;Â&#x201C;Â&#x2030;Â&#x201D;Â&#x2122; UNDERSTAND EVERY WORD! Sung in Italian with English texts projected above the stage. Campaign by Creme Fraiche Design.

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{PHOTO COURTESY OF KRISTI JAN HOOVER}

Melinda Helfrich and Andrew May in The Guard, at City Theatre

[PLAY REVIEWS]

FRAMES {BY MICHELLE PILECKI} DEATH. DEPRESSION. Lots of laughs. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

MARCH 11 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; APRIL 2, 2017

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Jessica Dickey addresses life, art, death, and love with wit and grace.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D; DC Metro Theater Arts

THE GUARD IS A BANQUET FOR THE EYE AS WELL AS THE MIND.

THE GUARD BY

the package City Theatre offers with its production of Jessica Dickeyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s The Guard. The 2015 comedy-drama-fantasy also packs a lot of discussion about art: not just the painting thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the focus of the tale, but also poetry, philosophy â&#x20AC;&#x201D; all forms of creativity and existential questioning. Dickeyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s layered plot moves through time and mind, starting in a museum contemplating Rembrandtâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;Aristotle With a Bust of Homer,â&#x20AC;? then getting into the Dutch artist, thence into the Greek poet. Lots and lots of dialogue, deftly delivered by ďŹ ve actors, each playing two roles that mirror each other.

which Rembrandt wears on his sleeve. The artist is not shy with his castigations of the vulgar, while the more guarded Henry is polite. The best scenery-chewing, though, comes late in The Guard from Raphael Nash Thompson as two poets: Homer, arguably the worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ďŹ rst; and Simon, Henryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s dying husband. The former strides the stage bigger than life, the latter huddles almost motionless in bed, but both have a lot of great laugh lines and serious insights. Melinda Helfrich is both ingĂŠnue (Madeline, art student) and leading lady (Henny, Rembrandtâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s long-time mistress). The juvenile in both eras is nicely balanced by Stephen James Anthony as Dodger, Henryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s new colleague and a rebellious artist; and as Titus, Rembrandtâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s loving but very worried son. Helfrich and Anthony produce a nicely comic sexual spark in the museum. The only cast member remaining in the present, Billy HepďŹ nger supports the play as Jonny, the awkward and armed guard, and as Martin, the pert nurse. Directed by City artistic director Tracy Brigden with her usual panache and a talented design/tech team, The Guard is a banquet for the eye as well as the mind. And if you care, the painting is really in Gallery 637.

Jessica Dickey

DIRECTED BY

Tracy Brigden

BUY YOUR TICKETS TODAY! 412.431.CITY (2489) / CityTheatreCompany.org / South Side

THE GUARD Use code CITYCITY to save $5 on single tickets

continues through April 2. City Theatre, 1300 Bingham St., South Side. $15-59. 412-431-2489 or www.citytheatrecompany.org

Andrew May portrays the title character, Henry, by vocation as well as occupation a museum guard, as sensitive and well spoken. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s quite fun to watch May morph into the lusty, ďŹ&#x201A;amboyant Rembrandt. Henry tends to hide his passion,

I N F O@ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.22/03.29.2017

M C KEESPORT LITTLE THEATER

[DANCE REVIEW]

A LEG UP

PRESENTS...

TEAM-UP

{BY GWENDOLYN KISTE}

{BY STEVE SUCATO} ster, Daddy Long Legs is a sweet ode to turn-of-the-century love. This 2009 play, with music and lyrics by Paul Gordon and book by John Caird, is now on stage at Pittsburgh Public Theater. Under the direction of the Public’s producing artistic director, Ted Pappas, the production is a jaunty good time, with a two-person cast that is truly exceptional. Danielle Bowen makes a charming Jerusha, “the oldest orphan in the John Grier Home,” who aspires to greater things than the dredges the world has given her so far. Enter Jervis (Allan Snyder), the wealthy young trustee who offers to fund Jerusha’s college education on the condition that she write him regular letters, though he will never write back. She is unaware of his identity, other than having seen his long-legged silhouette brieﬂy outside her window (hence, the eponymous nickname). Together, the two actors make the most of the twohour-plus running time. They can belt out the highly charged emotional numbers, but they play the quieter moments with equal aplomb.

DADDY LONG LEGS continues through April 9. Pittsburgh Public Theater, 621 Penn Ave., Downtown. $25-62. 412-316-1600 or www.ppt.org

Early on, it becomes apparent that the couple is more than well matched — they both enjoy literature, socialism and long walks out of doors (yes, their compatibility reads rather like a post-modern dating proﬁle). So what’s the problem? Not a whole lot, to be honest. Never having met him, Jerusha thinks Jervis is older than he really is, and he feels as if he should have been honest with her earlier. Not exactly the biggest obstacles for romance. Consequently, it becomes the story’s primary driving force to contrive ways to keep the two apart. Mostly, the trouble comes from Jervis’ unwillingness to simply come clean with Jerusha; one letter, albeit an awkward one, would solve all the problems between them. However, when it comes to the trappings of light-hearted romance, his reticence is all part of the fun. After all, it wouldn’t be much of a story if they found love in the ﬁrst act. And with a cast this good and production design that’s more than up to the task, Daddy Long Legs is a highly enjoyable way to spend an evening.

Pittsburgh Ballet Theatre’s Danielle Downey, Cooper Verona and Julia Erickson in “StrayLifeLushHorn” {PHOTO COURTESY OF RICH SOFRANKO}

BASED ON the 1912 novel by Jean Web-

INFO@ PGHC ITY PAP ER.CO M

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“When Smokey sings, I hear violins,” crooned Martin Fry in new-wave band ABC’s 1987 hit “When Smokey Sings.” Last Thursday, at a post-performance party at Downtown’s August Wilson Center, the legendary singer himself, Smokey Robinson, alluded to a similar feeling after watching Pittsburgh Ballet Theatre and Dance Theatre of Harlem perform that night. Robinson was one of many who reveled in PBT’s first such cross-company mixed-bill production, which garnered the two troupes a rousing standing ovation. DTH began the performance in choreographer Robert Garland’s classically styled ballet “Brahms Variations,” set to music by Johannes Brahms. Immediately, it was clear that DTH power couple Chyrstyn Fentroy and Jorge Andrés Villarini owned the spotlight — three vertical rows of three spotlights each, to be precise. Long and lean in stature, both dancers impressed in solos and dancing together — Fentroy with her smooth grace and line, and Villarini with his technical polish and strength. As one of several stylistically diverse works DTH will perform here in two alternating programs (see pbt.org for details) during a two-week run, “Brahms Variations” proved a delightful showcase of DTH dancers’ classical pedigree and youthful energy. Less impressive was the shared staging of the “Black Swan Pas de Deux,” from Swan Lake. In one of the two works included in every evening’s program (with different casts), DTH’s Alison Stroming and Da’von Doane danced opening entrée and adagio sections, followed by PBT’s Gabrielle Thurlow and Ruslan Mukhambetkaliyev in the closing male/female variations and coda. While the dancers performed respectably, the pas de deux on the whole felt flat and uneven. PBT’s reprise of Dwight Rhoden’s 2000 ballet “StrayLifeLushHorn,” the other ballet performed in each program, fared better. The mood of the ballet — danced to the music of Pittsburgh native Billy Strayhorn played live by the Pittsburgh Jazz Orchestra featuring vocalist Kim Nazarian — was joyous, as PBT’s dancers ripped through Rhoden’s signature off-kilter contemporaryballet choreography infused with 1960s “Frug” steps. While the piece was dense with wonderful performances, a few PBT stars shone through in a big way, most notably an alluring Julia Erickson in “All Day Long,” and Amanda Cochrane and Alejandro Diaz in a picture-perfect pas de deux performed to the heartfelt “Something to Live For,” sung with feeling by Nazarian.

Polish Joke MARCH 24, 25, 26, 2017

1614 COURSIN STREET • McKEESPORT • (412) 673-1100 FOR RESERVATIONS VISIT OUR WEBSITE AT WWW.MCKEESPORTLITTLETHEATER.COM

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PITTSBURGH BALLET THEATRE and DANCE THEATRE OF HARLEM continues through Sun., March 26. August Wilson Center, 980 Liberty Ave., Downtown. $28-108. 412-456-6666 or www.pbt.org ARTS

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Friday and Saturday performances at 8p.m.; Sunday matinees at 2p.m.

TICKETS ARE $15.00, $10.00 FOR STUDENTS - GROUP RATES AVAILABLE. HANDICAPPED ACCESSIBLE.

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a comedy/drama by David Ives

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03.23-03.30.17 Full events listed online at www.pghcitypaper.com

Elena Passarello’s Animals Strike Curious Poses (Sarabande Books), a book inspired by both medieval bestiaries and an addiction to online animal videos, is on a roll. Last week, the glowing reviews of this essay collection continued when H is for Hawk author Helen Macdonald, writing in the New York Times, called Passarello “a master of the essay form” and summed up, “It might be the best book on animals I’ve ever read. It’s also the only one that’s made me laugh out loud.”

In 17 essays, Passarello delves into the lives and resonances of creatures made famous in science, art, folklore and popular culture, from a frozen woolly-mammoth calf to Mr. Ed, and from a modern circus “unicorn” to wartime passenger pigeons and the pet starling that jammed with Mozart (for real). The thoroughly researched book teems with lyrical language, humor, ingenious stylistic choices and smartly drawn connections. Highlights include “Jumbo II,” which juxtaposes Gilded Age circus-elephant tragedies with the dawn of the electric chair, and “Koko,” in which Passarello borrows the limited vocabulary and syntax of the noted sign-language gorilla to retell a classic dirty joke in Koko’s own voice. Passarello lived in Pittsburgh from 1996 until 2005. She came to study at Pitt and was best known here as an actor. Since 2012, she’s taught at the University of Oregon. Curious Poses is her second essay collection, after 2012’s awardwinning, human-voice-themed Let Me Clear My Throat. Reached by phone in Oregon, Passarello says her modern bestiary grew from her preferred style of researching short pieces under a larger theme. This particular theme has fascinated her since childhood. Much of the book concerns how “we use animals as the connecting point to each other,” she says. In a March 26 event at brillobox, Passarello reads with former Pittsburgher Mike Scalise, whose acclaimed medical memoir The Brand New Catastrophe, is also new on Sarabande.

^ Fri., March 24: The Pittsburgh Knit and Crochet and Pittsburgh Creative Arts Festival

thursday 03.23 STAGE In his new adaptation of Oedipus Rex, PICT Classic Theatre’s Alan Stanford moves the action from ancient Greece to Mediterranean Africa. But Stanford promises that audiences for this version of Sophocles’ classic about a royal family plagued by bad omens, incest and murder will see something like the Greeks saw: Theater “performed very much as a ritual.” Local favorite James FitzGerald, as blind prophet Teiresias, is joined by Chicago-based actor Justin Wilson, as King Oedipus, and Boston’s Jonny Lee Davenport as Creon. The first performance at the Union Project is tonight. Amani Newton 8 p.m. Continues through April 8. 801 N. Negley Ave., Highland Park. $15-50. 412-561-6000 or www.picttheatre.org

friday 03.24

BY BILL O’DRISCOLL

7 p.m. Sun., March 26. Brillobox, 4104 Penn Ave., Bloomfield. Free. 412-621-4900

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.22/03.29.2017

CRAFTING The Pittsburgh Knit and Crochet and Pittsburgh Creative Arts Festival returns to the David L. Lawrence Convention Center. For three days, starting today, more than 70 exhibitors from Pennsylvania and beyond will showcase their handcrafted wares. Special features include today’s luncheon/colors workshop with famed fiber

artisan StevenBe; an open studio for trying out new equipment; and a free Maker Space for “cross-crafting” techniques. And American Patchwork & Quilting magazine seeks seamsters and quilters for its long-running 1 Million Pillowcase Challenge to benefit local charities (like hospitalized kids and homeless families). Bill O’Driscoll Noon7 p.m. Also 9 a.m.-5:30 p.m. Sat., March 25, and 9:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m. Sun., March 26. $10-25. www.pghknitandcrochet.com

ART Brenda Stumpf calls art-making a “shamanistic” act, and her work backs it up. The Pittsburgh-based artist’s paintings, drawings and especially her sculptures incorporate nontraditional materials (like women’s dresses, twigs and dead leaves) to dramatically explore mythic and historical figures and subjects including Pandora, the Black Madonna, victims of Jack the Ripper, and the poetry of Pablo Neruda. Her latest show, Ritual & Relic, has its opening reception at the Mine Factory tonight. BO Reception: 6 p.m. (free). Exhibit continues through April 9. 201 N. Braddock Ave., Point Breeze. www.brendastumpf.com ^ Thu., March 23: Oedipus Rex

6SHQG OHVV JUæ Q DQG VWLç JHW Dç ë H OXFN Call 412-329-6523 today to schedule your visit. Bethel Park Independent Retirement Living Bethel Park, PA | bethel-park.net ©2017 HARVEST MANAGEMENT SUB LLC, HOLIDAY AL MANAGEMENT SUB LLC, HOLIDAY AL NIC MANAGEMENT LLC.

{PHOTO COURTESY OF DAVID BACHMAN PHOTOGRAPHY}

^ Sat., March 25: Turandot

blogh.pghcitypaper.com

ART Walk on By, the new exhibit at Future Tenant, is a partnership with Northside Common Ministries, whose executive director, Jay Poliziani, curated this show addressing the plight of Pittsburgh’s homeless population. Featured artists will explore the issue through video, painting, live performance, sculpture and more, with the aim of facilitating a dialogue about affordable housing. Two free receptions will be held for the show, tonight, with a performance by Pittsburgh Playback Theater, and again on March 31. AN Reception: 6-9 p.m. Exhibit continues through April 2. 819 Penn Ave., Downtown. Pay what you wish. 412-567-8861 or futuretenant.org

Work yourself into a lather. Rinse. Repeat.

COMEDY Heidi Nagle admits it: Being denied first-rate stuff is kind of a first-world problem. But that’s maybe all the more reason to laugh about it, and starting tonight, the founding member of sketch-comedy troupe The Harvey Wallbangers presents the second installment of her one-woman show This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things, at Carnegie Stage. {ART BY BRENDA STUMPF} The three-night run includes new ^ Fri., March 24: Ritual & Relic original sketches, new short videos and special guests. BO 8 p.m. Also 8 p.m. Sat., March 25, and 7 p.m. Sun., March 26. 25 W. Main St., Carnegie. $10-15. 724-873-3576 or www.insideoffthewall.com

saturday 03.25 DANCE Some might call it improvisation; slowdanger and Gia Cacalano prefer “instantly composed performance.” The duo called slowdanger and Cacalano, both stalwarts of the local dance scene, will each start the evening at The Hideout by performing a pre-existing work. The evening concludes with “a serendipitous instantly composed trio.” BO 8 p.m. 201 N. Braddock Ave., Point Breeze. $10-15. www.facebook.com (“gia t and slowdanger”) CONTINUES ON PG. 32

NEWS

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SHORT LIST, CONTINUED FROM PG. 31

EVERYONE IS A CRITIC

{PHOTO COURTESY OF DAWN HARTMAN PHOTOGRAPHY}

^ Thu., March 30: Track Meet: Whose Rhyme Is It Anyway?

EVENT: Chapbook release party for Kelly Lorraine Andrews’ The Fear Archives at The Glitter Box Theater, in Oakland

OPERA The plot of Turandot, Giacomo Puccini’s final opera, hinges on the most high-stakes meet-cute ever: The Prince of Tartary falls in love at first sight with Princess Turandot, but the law demands that if he fails to answer three riddles to win her hand, he will be executed. Pittsburgh Opera presents four performances starting tonight; selected shows feature special events, including the chance to meet the leads, soprano Alexandra Loutsion, who sings Turandot, and tenor Thiago Arancam, as the Prince. AN 8 p.m. Continues through April 2. Benedum Center, 237 Seventh St., Downtown. $12-160. 412-456-6666 or www.pittsburghopera.org

CRITIC:

Timons Esaias, 63, a writer and professor from Squirrel Hill WHEN:

Sat., March 18 Deena November sent me three or four warnings that I’d better be here. She taught at [my university] for a bit and I’ve read at her Staghorn reading series, and I attend events like this regularly. This space is interesting, I’ve never been in this little theater. It’s your basic bare-bones bohemian kind of thing, but it actually looks like it would be a useful venue. I’m gonna mention it to folks. Eclectic would be the word that I would use [for the event]. And interesting. In fact, I’m gonna chase down the guy who just read his poem. That second poem, I want a copy of that. Which is one of the fun things about coming to these events, because people that you haven’t heard of do good work, and you get to experience that. And sometimes you get to find somebody early in their career who will become better known, but it doesn’t actually matter. A good poem is a good poem.

sunday 03.26

B Y A M A NI NEWTO N

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.22/03.29.2017

COMEDY Kathy Griffin is bringing her trash talk to Pittsburgh! The Queen of the D-List’s latest memoir, Kathy Griffin’s Celebrity Run-Ins: My A-Z Index, dishes on all of the celebrities she has met during her many years in show business, from Woody Allen to Warren Zevon. During this one-night stop on her comedy tour, she’ll share tales from the book on stage at the Benedum Center. A portion of the proceeds benefit the Delta Foundation of Pittsburgh, which presents the show in partnership with the Pittsburgh Cultural Trust. AN 7:30 p.m. 237 Seventh St., Downtown. $43.25-103.25. 412-456-6666 or www.trustarts.org

performance for former Secretary of State John Kerry. AN 8 p.m. 117 Sandusky St., North Side. $10-20. 412-237-8300 or www.warhol.org

wednesday 03.29 STAGE University of Pittsburgh Stages presents a uniquely womenled cast in Baltimore. The 2016 drama by Kirsten Greenidge was commissioned as part of the Big Ten Theatre Consortium’s New Play Initiative, dedicated to producing work by female playwrights at universities nationwide. The playwrights only have one rule: the plays must include at least six substantial roles for women. Greenidge’s winning work concerns eight young college students forced to mediate a racially charged incident on campus with their resident advisor. AN 8 p.m. Continues through April 9. Henry Heymann Theatre, 4301 Forbes Ave., Oakland. $12-25. 412-624-7529 or play.pitt.edu

thursday 03.30 TALK Last year, J.D. Vance’s memoir Hillbilly Elegy, about growing up poor in Appalachia, became an unexpected best-seller during the presidential campaign; afterward, it looked only more prescient. Vance, though criticized by some for blaming ^ Sun., March 26: Kathy Griffin the poor for their poverty, remains a sought-after speaker. Tonight he visits Carnegie Lecture Hall, a fundraiser for Pittsburgh news outlet Public Source. BO 7 p.m. 4400 Forbes Ave., Oakland. $25-150. www.publicsource.org

MUSIC The Andy Warhol Museum welcomes spring by hosting the Arditti Quartet and guitarist Eliot Fisk for a night of strings. Violinist Irvine Arditti has led the world-renowned quartet that interprets contemporary and 20th-century music since 1974, after founding it at London’s Royal Academy of Music. The Sunday Times once remarked, “The Arditti players manage to say more in a couple of bow strokes than some concerts communicate in total.” Joining them is Philadelphia native Fisk, who received his classical training at Yale before performing internationally, including a recent special

STAGE Inspired by both improv comedy and hip-hop culture, David Reason Freeman presents Track Meet: Whose Rhyme Is It Anyway? This freestyle cypher (in a new venue in Bloomfield) is open to emcees, singers, dancers, poets and more. All skill levels are welcome. Games like What’s the Scenario and Scenes From a Snapback provide some structure; DJ Thermos and DJ Kelly supply the tunes. BO 8 p.m.-midnight. 4614 Liberty Ave., Bloomfield. $5 (18 and over). www.facebook.com (“track meet whose rhyme”)

the

THE SALAD WAS A CLASSIC COMBINATION OF BEETS, ARUGULA AND CITRUS, PREPARED TO PERFECTION

FRESH BRUNCH {BY AL HOFF} Perhaps you’ve had some of Gluten Free Goat’s baked goods at various coffee shops around town. Or you miss its stall at the now-shuttered Pittsburgh Public Market. Good news: Gluten Free Goat’s storefront bakery and café in Garfield is now open. The airy space on Penn Avenue serves as a grab-and-go bakery and sit-down café with prepared meals. The fare is free of gluten, soy, oat and corn. Some items incorporate vegan alternatives, such as cashew “cream,” but diners can get milk with their coffee and a grilled-cheese sandwich. The café offers brunch, with classic items reworked to accommodate dietary sensitivities. Alternate flours substitute for wheat and corn, so patrons can still chow down on a hearty Belgian waffle (try topped with stewed apples), or the quiche of the day, with its signature pale, firm crust. The “Benedict” is vegan, made with chickpea patties and shiitake “bacon.” Make larger meals by adding side salads and housemade soups. Last weekend’s soup was a bright mélange of sweet potato, carrot and ginger, topped with fresh herbs and slivered almonds. A number of sweets stand ready to dispel diner’s concerns that gluten-free baked goods are bland or stodgy. There are apple-cider donuts, intriguingly flavored cupcakes (lemon blueberry green tea), cheesecake (strawberry lavender or chocolate mint), and banana cream pie chia pudding. Patrons can also pop in for “healthier” to-go salads, made with mixed greens, chickpeas or quinoa. But really: Get a donut, too.

{CP PHOTO BY JOHN COLOMBO}

Duck a l’orange: duck breast with baby turnips, greens and blood orange

PERFECTLY FRENCH {BY ANGELIQUE BAMBERG + JASON ROTH}

AHOFF@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

4905 Penn Ave., Garfield. www.glutenfreegoat.com. Closed Monday and Tuesday

the

FEED

The annual Farm to Table Pittsburgh Local Food Conference returns this weekend. As always, look for food tastings, cooking demos, vendors and speakers. New this year is the Farm to Flask Local Spirits Mixology, featuring local craft distilleries, wineries and microbreweries. Tickets, schedule and more info here: www.farmtotablepa.com. Fri., March 24, and Sat., March 25. David L. Lawrence Convention, Downtown

OR A MINUTE there, we were almost out of French restaurants in Pittsburgh. Not that we ever had many, but for most of American culinary history, ﬁne dining was deﬁned by French cuisine and French-style cooking, dominated by rich sauces and luxe ingredients prepared just so. Was it a sign of the times that, in 2017, there were only one or two holdouts, plus a smattering of creperies, in the entire region? Or is it a sign of the times that a new, formal French restaurant just opened and it’s bucking every current restaurant trend? Bruneaux is in Sewickley, where the stalwart Café des Amis has done a brisk business in Gallic lunches for years, and a sweet little café, Cocothé, recently expanded into a full-service French-ish restaurant. But Bruneaux is the closest

we’ve come in years to classic French dining, from the formal yet accommodating maître d’ to the knowledgeable server to the unobtrusive busboy.

BRUNEAUX 409 Beaver St., Sewickley. 412-741-9200 HOURS: Tue.-Sat. lunch noon-2 p.m.; dinner 5-10 p.m.; Sun. brunch noon-3 p.m. PRICES: Soups, salads, small plates $8-16; entrees $20-54 LIQUOR: Full bar

CP APPROVED In a time when the (admittedly, very French) mania for chalkboards seems to have spread to render the interior of every new restaurant dreary charcoal gray, Bruneaux’s shades-of-white decor is a beacon of light and elegance. Silver

and glassware sparkle against white tablecloths; palest gray and oyster walls, upholstery and even floors reflect the perfect lighting, which is bright enough to see your food, but dim enough for intimacy without the aid of table candles. A mirror enhances the silvery effect while artfully refracting the deep, narrow dining room, laid out with a banquette along one wall and bar and semiopen kitchen opposite. Even the servers wear white. The menu, too, is formal and traditional, but not mired in the past. Sometimes it’s just the use of a boutique ingredient, like the quail egg on steak tartare, that sets a dish apart. Other moves are more boldly au courant, like beurre blanc flavored with burnt citrus on salmon. The house winter salad was a classic CONTINUES ON PG. 34

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Sushi Kim Korean BBQ Buffet FRIDAYS-SUNDAY 4-9PM

• CHICKEN/ BEEF BULGOGI • • PORK, BEEF SHORT RIB • • SEAFOOD, VEGETABLES •

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CLOSED MONDAY

Check us out at 1241 Penn Avenue Downtown / Strip 412-281-9956

PERFECTLY FRENCH, CONTINUED FROM PG. 33

combination of beets, arugula and citrus, prepared to perfection. Both red and golden beets were cubed and piled with greens at one end of a long plate, while creamy chèvre, smeared directly on the other end, was scattered with crushed walnuts, encouraging us to combine bits from both sides for each bite. The nuts provided more texture than taste, but the blood-orange vinaigrette was reinforced with neatly trimmed pieces of orange. We eyed both the escargot and the butter-poached lobster, but our server recommended the bouillabaisse, and rightly so. A broad, shallow dish of saffron-colored (and -flavored) broth contained a meticulously arranged trio each of clams and mussels, and a piece of halibut filet surmounted by a pair of headon prawns. Bouillabaisse is often served with croutons and a sort of mayonnaise made with sea urchins, but here the urchins were incorporated into the silken broth, giving it a deep, yet mellow, seafood flavor. The fish and shellfish were all cooked to succulent perfection, and we mopped up the broth with plenty of warm baguette placed with tongs onto our plates from a pleasing wooden box. The entrée list is elementally organized by sea, land and air; Angelique stayed in the sea for her pick — seared sea scallops with butternut-squash risotto and bacon-apple relish. She expected the standard restaurant portion of three scallops and was amazed to be served five, lined up liked a row of buttons atop a plinth of risotto. Like the seafood in the bouillabaisse, the scallops were excellent, lightly browned and translucent, at the peaks of their flavor and texture. The finely diced bits of apple and bacon that garnished them did not add up to strong flavor in the relish itself, but enhanced the native sweet and salty notes already present in the scallops and the squash. Pommes frites, ordered a la carte, were truffled, but not too strongly, and had that perfect tender-crisp variance in texture that makes French fries the best, well, fries in the world. They made a sound complement to the veal chops, which were served without a starch. Instead, the chops were accompanied by wonderfully roasted florets of indigo cauliflower and tender oyster mushrooms served in a savory, slightly thickened pan jus. More importantly, the veal was a fantastic cut of meat: utterly tender and with just enough fat around the rim to add extra savor to this beautifully cooked chop. Tres bien, Bruneaux! Let’s not say goodbye but au revoir: till we meet again. INF O @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.22/03.29.2017

[PERSONAL CHEF]

THE BEST TUNA SALAD (ON A SALAD) {BY KELLY ANDREWS, GREENFIELD} I have few claims to fame, but I’m pretty sure my tuna salad is one of the best in the tri-state area. And if you eat it on a bed of lettuce or on tomato slices, you can cut out some serious carbs, and at least sort of justify skipping the gym yet again. Think of this tuna salad like it is the first Tinder message you send to a prospective date. If you move too prospect fast, you’re not going to enjoy as much as if you take it a yyour time and let things marinate. You don’t want your tuna salad to end up like this: YOU TO TINDER DATE Y (a.k.a. Tuna Salad): (a Hi, you look great. I could you up. eat yo TUNA SALAD: Whoa! Hi. Just like, chill for a second. YOU: Lol, sorry. I haven’t been with someone like you in a long time. TINDER TUNA: Listen, I need some time to figure things out. YOU: What? Why? What did I do wrong? TUNA SALAD TINDER DATE: I don’t think you’re my type. INGREDIENTS • 1 packet/can of tuna in water, drained • 1 hard-boiled egg (whites only, cut into small pieces) • 1 slice of white onion, finely chopped • 1½ tbsp. mayo • 1 baby carrot, finely shredded • pinch of pepper INSTRUCTIONS Mix all ingredients in a bowl and let it chill in the fridge for at least 20 minutes. Feel free to kill the time as you please, but personifying my food as a possible date can really go a long way in terms of entertainment. Once you’re ready to move things along (or swipe left, as it goes in Tinderland), I suggest making a small mountain of the tuna on a bunch of greens. Then, throw some chopped tomatoes on there, along with croutons and some pepperoncini peppers to add a little heat, then dress it with olive oil and a red-wine vinegar. You might be destined to eat this dish alone, but that’s OK — this recipe serves only one. Kelly Andrews is a poet who plans to stick around Pittsburgh indefinitely. You can find more sad, healthy (and funny) meals on her blog sadhealthymeals. wordpress.com. WE WANT YOUR PERSONAL RECIPES AND THE STORIES BEHIND THEM. EMAIL THEM TO CELINE@PGHCITYPAPER.COM.

BOOZE BATTLES {BY CELINE ROBERTS}

Each week, we order the same cocktail at two different bars for a friendly head-to-head battle. Go to the bars, taste both drinks and tell us what you like about each by tagging @pghcitypaper on Twitter or Instagram and use #CPBoozeBattles. If you want to be a part of Booze Battles, send an email to food-and-beverage writer Celine Roberts, at celine@pghcitypaper.com.

THE DRINK: REMEDY THE I’M-SICK-AND-STILL-HAVE-TODRINK EDITION

[ON THE ROCKS]

BLOODY GOOD Celebrating a quirky and quintessential brunch cocktail Ace Hotel

{BY DREW CRANISKY}

120 S. Whitfield St., East Liberty DRINK: Fourth River Mule INGREDIENTS: Boyd & Blair vodka, ginger, lime, turmeric honey OUR TAKE: The ginger, citrus and turmeric honey are all curative ingredients that help boost immunity, while being arguably tasty. They might even be strong enough to cancel out the negative effects of the vodka, but hey, vodka is at least an antiseptic. This tasty cocktail was delicious cold and straightforward, as well as soothing on a sore throat.

VS.

ORDERING A Bloody Mary is a roll of the dice. Though brunch spots crank them out in huge quantities, ordering one at another bar might send the bartender scrambling to ﬁnd that long-neglected bottle of Worcestershire. I’ve had my share of bad Bloodys, from one made with bitter, over-infused vodka to another that tasted like the tomato juice had sat in the trunk of a hot car for a few weeks. Yet I keep ordering them, because a proper Bloody Mary delivers a drinking experience unmatched by any other cocktail. While most cocktails rely on

sweet, tart and bitter ﬂavors, the Bloody Mary veers in an entirely different direction, bringing a salty, savory and spicy punch to your palate. A Bloody Mary is a brunch all its own, especially when generously garnished (as it always should be) and served, as it often is in Wisconsin — and as I wish it always would be — with a pony of Miller High Life. And while claims of the Bloody Mary’s efﬁcacy as a hangover cure are dubious at best, I’m always willing to give it a try after a rough Saturday night. As with most cocktails, the origins of this unconventional drink are murky.

Though no one knows who first mixed vodka and tomato juice, most credit Fernand Petiot with creating the modern Bloody Mary. Petiot, a bartender at Paris’ famous Harry’s New York Bar (the birthplace of numerous classic cocktails), helped cement the classic list of Bloody Mary ingredients: salt, black pepper, lemon, Worcestershire sauce and cayenne. While Petiot’s 1920s rendition would be perfectly respectable today, modern bartenders have riffed heavily on this basic template. The most memorable version I ever had was at Chicago’s Little Goat, which serves up a Bloody bursting with tang, spice and umami. Rather than Tabasco and lemon juice, however, they achieved those flavors through pickled onion juice, kimchi and miso. Closer to home, Pittsburgh boasts plenty of noteworthy Bloody Marys of its own. Few are more attention-grabbing than the Crabby Mary, at Luke Wholey’s Wild Alaskan Grille, which comes topped with a deep-fried soft-shell crab (with pimento-stuffed olive “eyes”). Blue Dust, in Homestead, has earned a devoted following with Bloody Marys featuring house infusions like pickle vodka. And Bloody Mary bars at spots like Meat & Potatoes, Urban Tap and The Yard let you load your glass with everything from bacon to miniature grilled-cheese sandwiches. Should you ever tire of Bloody Marys (perish the thought!), try one of the many variations. Canadians love a Bloody Caesar, which adds clam juice to the mix. Swap the traditional vodka for gin to make a Red Snapper, or use tequila for a Bloody Maria. And if you take nothing else from this column, remember this: fish sauce. A dash of the super-salty, umami-rich liquid will crank your next Bloody up to 11. I N F O@ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

This week on Sound Bite: City Paper goes to Grow Pittsburgh’s seed swap to start preparing for spring. www.pghcitypaper.com

One Bordeaux, One Scotch, One Beer

Smallman Galley 54 21st St., Strip District

La Clarine Farm ‘Jambalaia Blanc,’ Sierra Foothills, Calif., 2015 (Viognier/Marsanne/Albariño/Petit Manseng)

DRINK: Remedy INGREDIENTS: Blended scotch, Laphroaig 10, pickled carrot juice, ginger, honey OUR TAKE: This savory, slightly tart cocktail is something I can still fully taste even through my clogged sinuses. The smoke of the Laphroaig helped me to breathe more easily, while the ginger and honey add dimension to balance the flavors. Pickled carrot juice adds vegetal notes and a kick of vitamin C.

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$12/glass, $60/bottle Bio-dynamic winemaking at its finest. This unusual white field blend [of grapes] bursts with aromas of fresh apple, citrus peel and tropical fruit. On the palate, it is bracing and crisp, showing pineapple and mango notes, and a nutty, savory minerality. Fantastic with lighter seafood fare or salads, or on its own with friends when you want to imagine warmer weather. R E C O MME NDE D B Y D OM I N I C F I ORE , S OM M E L I E R AT B A R M A RC O

La Clarine Farm ‘Jambalaia Blanc’ is available at Bar Marco in the Strip District.

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PITTSBURGH PIZZA WEEK HAS BEGUN!

But itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not too late. Visit pghpizzaweek.com to see what pizza each restaurant is featuring. Get out there, Pittsburgh.

MARCH 20-26

PARTICIPATING RESTAURANTS:

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.22/03.29.2017

THE FILMS ILLUMINATE THE STRUGGLE TO FIND A SECURE PLACE IN LIFE

HUNGRY {BY AL HOFF} In the French film, Raw, teenage Justine (Garance Marillier) is following the family tradition by attending a veterinarian medical school, just like her parents did and her older sister, Alexia (Ella Rumpf), currently does. A featureless clump of buildings in the countryside hides the outrageous goings-on at the school, including druggy parties, casual hookups and, with seemingly no adult supervision, an intensive program of hazing for “rookies.” As part of the hazing, Justine, who is an avowed vegetarian, is forced — by her own veggie sister! — to eat a portion of rabbit kidney. This transgression proves to have bizarre consequences. It awakens in her an insatiable hunger — for food, specifically meat. But a cooked burger patty isn’t as good as a raw chicken breast, and neither is as satisfying as human flesh.

CP APPROVED

A new taste: Justine (Garance Marillier)

She also suffers night sweats and has a terrible rash, but on the upside, Justine’s “blossoming” allows her to develop a better relationship with Alexia, who provides some highly specialized tricks for better living. Writer/director Julia Ducournau’s arty horror/coming-of-age film takes viewers along for Justine’s descentslash-awakening into the carnal. It’s not just her newfound taste for cannibalism that has her writhing at night, but also a new sexual hunger. For Justine, her embrace of the forbidden is a heady mélange of meat, sex and power. She stalks the vet school, in an ill-fitting cocktail dress with fresh blood smeared on her winsome pixie-ish face, recalling the fetishization of female desire and power in other dreamy horror films such as The Hunger. The film, which is not without moments of dark comedy, also explicitly tips its hat to Carrie. Some warnings for viewers: This is more of a languid European arthouse film, with horror and gore elements, than a standard slash-and-shriek bloodbath. But deliver it does: It’s unnerving throughout, and some scenes are viscerally disturbing. (The sound of a finger being chewed!) And to that end, the sensitive should just assume at least half-a-dozen trigger warnings, ranging from rough sex and flesh-eating to Brazilian waxing and dissecting animals. AHOFF@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

In French, with subtitles. Starts Fri., March 24. Hollywood NEWS

Clockwise from top left: Abacus: Small Enough to Jail; I, Daniel Blake; Marie Curie: The Courage of Knowledge; and Don’t Call Me Son

FACES OF IDENTITY {BY AL HOFF}

HE CARNEGIE MELLON International Film Festival: Faces of Identity runs Thu., March 23, through April 9, with more than a dozen feature films and documentaries. Unless noted, films screen at McConomy Auditorium, on the CMU campus, and are $10 ($5 students/seniors). A complete schedule, including guest speakers and specials events, is at www.cmu.edu/ faces. Some recent films screening this week:

I, DANIEL BLAKE. The Kafka-like bureaucracy of the welfare state complicates life for two well-intended but struggling working-class folk in Ken Loach’s new film (penned by his frequent collaborator Paul Lafferty). Recovering from a heart attack, carpenter Daniel (Dave Johns) is caught between medical disability and employment. Partly to stay busy, he takes a young single mother (Hayley Squires) under his wing. The film is heartbreaking, heartwarming and infuriating, though not without humor. There’s no pat solution here, but Daniel has one Pyrrhic victory worth a cheer. 7 p.m. Thu., March 23. Tickets are $15 ($10 for students and seniors), and include an opening-night reception.

ABACUS: SMALL ENOUGH TO JAIL. The family-run Abacus Federal Savings in New York City, which catered to Chinatown’s immigrant community, was the only U.S. bank to face charges of mortgage fraud in the wake of the 2008 financial crisis. Steve James’ documentary follows the Sung family — Thomas Sung, who founded the bank, his wife, and their four daughters, some of whom work at the bank — over the course of the five-year ordeal and trial. It’s a remarkable case study, not least in how tiny Abacus’ alleged fraud was compared to the giants of Wall Street. And at the film’s heart is one steadfast immigrant who, having achieved the American dream, sought to help others secure theirs. Director James attends a Q&A. 7 p.m. Sat., March 25 MARIE CURIE: THE COURAGE OF KNOWLEDGE. Marie Noelle’s bio-drama looks at some of the remarkable life of Marie Skłodowska Curie, the Polish-born, Paris-based scientist who made significant discoveries in radioactive materials and its uses. Noelle’s film dabbles in the scientific, but its chief focus is in depicting the complete being of Curie, portrayed here by the steady but somewhat ethereal Karolina Gruszka. Curie was a scientist, research collaborator, mother (and single

mother), lover and pioneer in a time and a field that did not welcome women. It is the sort of film that manages to incorporate languid baths and a duel (!) alongside obtuse conversations with Einstein and an overt feminist message. In French, with subtitles. 3 p.m. Sun., March 26 DON’T CALL ME SON. In Anna Muylaert’s Brazilian drama, a teenage boy named Pierre (Naomi Nero) is already struggling with who he is; locked in the bathroom, he photographs himself wearing women’s clothing. Then his identity gets truly upended, when it’s discovered he was abducted as a baby, and that now he must live with his biological family. The film is relatively restrained while exploring such melodramatic topics, allowing the various tensions and anxieties to play out in low-key, seemingly mundane scenes, such as meal times within the various families. In Portuguese, in subtitles. 7 p.m. Wed., March 29

Also screening this week: Anthropocene (7 p.m. Fri., March 24, CMOA Theater, Carnegie Museum of Art, Oakland); Afterimage (3:30 p.m. Sat., March 25) and Old Stone (7 p.m. Thu., March 30). AHOFF@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

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Robocop — all to the wild embrace of the neighborhood, who start to pitch in with the productions. Michel Gondry’s 2008 comedy is a cheerful thumb in the eye of all those mega-budget, perfectly rendered but soulless films that clog up the multiplexes. 5:20 p.m. Thu., March 23. Row House Cinema (Al Hoff)

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= CITY PAPER APPROVED

NEW CHIPS. The 1970s TV show about California Highway Patrol motorcycle cops gets a comedic big-screen re-do, with all the boner jokes and gay panic that was missing from the original. Starring Michael Pena and Dax Shepherd, who also directs. Starts Fri., March 24

IMMORTAL BELOVED. Bernard Rose directs this 1994 biographical drama about German composer Ludwig van Beethoven and the women he loved. Gary Oldman and Isabella Rossellini star. 7 p.m. Thu., March 23. Melwood

THE LAST WORD. Shirley MacLaine and Amanda Seyfried star in this dramedy about a retired but still controlling businesswoman who teams up with a journalist to pre-write her obituary. Mark Pellington directs. Starts Fri., March 24. AMC Loews Waterfront

HERMITAGE REVEALED. Margy Kinmonth’s 2004 documentary examines the history of Russia’s famed Hermitage art collection, among the world’s largest, on its 250th anniversary. Beautiful art in a beautiful building, once an imperial palace. 7 p.m. Thu., March 23. Tull Family Theater, 418 Walnut St., Sewickley. www.thetullfamilytheater.org

LIFE. In Daniel Espinosa’s sci-fi drama, a group of space travelers discovers a microscopic lifeform on Mars. But transporting it back to Earth proves to be a bad idea. Rebecca Ferguson, Jake Gyllenhaal and Ryan Reynolds star. Starts Fri., March 24

Wilson

MY LIFE AS A ZUCCHINI. In this animated family comedy from last year (now receiving its Pittsburgh premiere), a young orphaned boy named Courgette is sent to a foster home where he meets new friends and learns new things. Claude Barras directs this film, which was a nominee for Best Foreign Film at the 2017 Oscars. Starts Fri., March 24. Row House Cinema POWER RANGERS. Dean Israelite directs this actioner (based on the 1990s TV-show franchise) about a group of teenagers who, after being jolted with super powers, turn their skills toward saving the world. Starts Fri., March 24 THE SENSE OF AN ENDING. Ritesh Batra directs this adaptation of the Julian Barnes novel in which Tony (Jim Broadbent) is enjoying a comfortable retirement. He’s a bit of a curmudgeon, but perhaps he’s earned it. Then he receives notice that he has inherited a diary, from the estate of the mother of his college love. This prompts him to recount those long-ago days to his ex-wife (Harriet Walter), even as he deals with his impending grandfatherhood. Needless to say, it’s often dangerous to look back, particularly with additional sources of information, as Tony also re-establishes contact with his former girlfriend (Charlotte Rampling). It turns out that things weren’t as he assumed, and now Tony must confront how his role in the collective history of friends and lovers wasn’t as blameless as he long assumed. Batra’s film shifts between the past and the present, as both Tony and viewers sort out what happened. Sense is a certain sort of familiar British drama, in which urbane selfabsorbed older sorts ponder over earlier significant days at tony universities and weekends at country houses; the melodrama is low-key, and evasion is a natural component of any conversation. That said, this is a prime example of such works, well produced and finely acted. (Al Hoff)

WILSON. Wilson (Woody Harrelson) is a grumpy middle-aged guy stuck in a decades-old rut. He lives alone in a messy apartment, and bemoans the failing state of civilization. He is annoyed that people aren’t as social as they should be, but he’s about the most alienating conversationalist on the block; he has no filter and his honest appraisals are socially horrifying. Then he discovers that his ex-wife, Pippi (Laura Dern), has moved back to town, and even more remarkably, the pair learn of their baby, given up for adoption years ago, who is now a

FANTASTIC MR. FOX. Wes Anderson’s 2009 adaptation of Roald Dahl’s story fondly recalls the herkyjerky stop-motion puppet animation of decades ago. Its hero is the titular Mr. Fox, a charmingly scruffy vulpine (voiced by George Clooney), who leads a robbery of a nearby farm. This is primarily a caper film, complete with snappy dialogue, a ragtag crew of field creatures and a worthy adversary — the meanest of the farmers. (It’s a rompish movie aimed more at adults than kids, though most younger viewers should find it fun.) Fans of Anderson’s dysfunctional-family dramedies should be satisfied with familiar characterizations. Fox is a typical Anderson patriarch — magnetic, persuasive, his easy glibness intentionally distancing. Add Bill Murray as the voice of a badger, a few artificially gorgeous sunsets and a handful of quirky pop tunes, and it’s a bona fide Wes Anderson joint by way of glassyeyed, stuffed animals. Conversely, those who despise Anderson’s detached, self-conscious style and winkwink coolness might want to give this foxhole a miss. March 24-28. Row House Cinema (AH) MARY AND MAX. This 2009 Claymation feature from Adam Elliott depicts the 20-year pen-pal friendship between two unlikely, but equally lonely and marginalized, souls: an 8-year-old girl in Australia (voiced by Toni Collette) and a 44-year-old Jewish man in New York City with Asperger’s syndrome (voiced by Philip Seymour Hoffman). The story is heartfelt, but not mushy; it’s unafraid to be dark, albeit with a wry touch. The film also has a keen eye for the details of ordinary life, and should delight fans of broodier, more thoughtful animated stories. March 24-27 and March 29-30. Row House Cinema (AH)

My Life as a Zucchini

The Sense of an Ending

local teenager. It all has the effect of re-invigorating Wilson, and perhaps finally propelling him to pull his head out of his own ass and behave better toward those around him. OK, maybe, but not before he takes some ill-advised paths to self-discovery. Craig Johnson’s dark comedy is adapted from Daniel Clowes’ graphic novel, and it keeps some of the author’s deadpan tone. (Johnson helmed 2014’s The Skeleton Twins, and Wilson has a similar vibe.) But Harrelson and Dern, even when portraying total screw-ups, are such winning actors they bring a fair amount of effervescence to the work. As do a number of other notable actors, such as Margo Martindale and Cheryl Hines, who turn up in small roles and cameos. Starts Fri., March 24. Regent Square (AH)

Pennsylvania minor-league hockey team. The Charlestown Chiefs have got a cranky, profane coach (Paul Newman) and an on-ice assault known as the Hanson brothers. Set amid the gloomy winter of mid-1970s economic malaise, this film should resonate with today’s depressed audiences, yet still provide some much-needed belly laughs. 7:30 p.m. Wed., March 22. AMC Loews Waterfront. $5 (AH)

REPERTORY THE SCIENCE OF SLEEP. In Michel Gondry’s quirky 2006 dramedy, Gael Garcia Bernal plays Stéphane, a young man who has a hard time distinguishing fantasy from reality. It won’t take you long to figure out this peripatetic movie: Life sucks, so sometimes the only way to survive is to invent a world of your own. Science is best when Gondry slows down for those moments of intimacy that let us glimpse, in some realistic proportion, Stéphane’s suffering at this transitional moment in his life. In English, and French and Spanish, with subtitles. 5 p.m. Wed., March 22. Row House Cinema (Harry Kloman) Greatest movie ever about hockey. CP SLAPSHOT. George Roy Hill’s rough-and-tumble 1977 comedy follows the travails of a struggling Western

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 03.22/03.29.2017

MOOD INDIGO. Michel Gondry’s 2013 film is a quirky, whimsical romantic comedy, in which the story, however sweet, feels secondary to the endlessly unfolding visual tricks and fantastical sets. Viewers aren’t obligated to ferret out deeper themes beyond the love story; however oddball, it’s still the standard disbursement of joy, comfort, upheaval and pain. In French, with subtitles. 7:30 p.m. Wed., March 22, and 9:45 p.m. Thu., March 23. Row House Cinema (AH) ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND. This 2004 Michel Gondry movie is mildly entertaining until you catch on to its looping double helix of a plot, at which point it becomes somewhat trite and dull despite its deft playing. When a relationship ends, the couple partakes of a process that wipes your mind of memories that you want to forget. One procedure doesn’t go as well. 9:30 p.m. Wed., March 22, and 7:30 p.m. Thu., March 23. Row House Cinema (Harry Kloman) BE KIND REWIND. After a store’s videotapes are erased, two buddies (Jack Black and Mos Def) take to making their own “sweded” versions of popular rentals such as Ghostbusters and

THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS. Tim Burton directs this 1993 stop-animation neo-classic comedy about the king of Halloweentown who tries to get the skeletons, goblins and other spooky folk in town to embrace the Christmas holiday. Things go … oddly. March 24-26 and March 28-30. Row House Cinema HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS. It’s back to Hogwarts for Harry and his magical compatriots, despite a warning that terrible things are going to happen. Chris Columbus directs this 2002 film, starring Daniel Radcliffe. 11 a.m. Sat., March 25. Tull Family Theater, 418 Walnut St., Sewickley. www.thetullfamilytheater.org FLASHDANCE. In this heartfelt 1983 drama from Adrian Lyne, plucky Pittsburgh welder and performance artiste Alex (Jennifer Beals) won’t let any of life’s roadblocks keep her from her dream of dancing for the ballet. Or, in this howlingly funny camp classic, a disco-driven gal gyrates her wet-T-shirted way out of South Side titty bars and changes classical ballet forever with her bump-and-grind routine. What a feeling! 7:30 p.m. Wed., March 29. AMC Loews Waterfront. $5

“WE ARE EXCITED TO PLAY AND WE WILL BE EXCITING TO WATCH.”

ONE FOR THE THUMB Alex Shabalov won his first junior chess championship at the age of 11 in his native Latvia. In the 35-plus years since, the now-Pittsburgh-based grandmaster won the Under-16 Championship of the Soviet Union in 1982 and took home four U.S. Chess Championship titles, most recently in 2007. On March 28, Shabalov will vie for his fifth at the 2017 U.S. Championship, in St. Louis. The winner of the 12-player round robin will take home $194,000. In the weeks leading up the tournament, Shabalov is focused on training. He’s 49 years old now, so he knows how taxing these championships can be, both physically and mentally. To keep his mind sharp, he spends his time solving puzzles and playing short matches against a computer. Then there’s the more concrete preparation — poring over strategies, and assessing the weaknesses and strengths of his potential opponents, most of whom he knows well. Aside from two new additions, this year’s field has all the same players as 2016’s lineup. Then there’s the physical toll. There are 11 rounds played over 12 days, so Shabalov preps with a daily regimen of three- to five-mile runs, hours in the pool and, depending on his energy, time in the weight room. Shabalov is known for an unusually aggressive style of play, which has been described as “trying to burn the bridges before crossing them.” He chalks up that approach to his mentor and fellow countryman, Mikhail Tal, who took home the world championship in 1960. “[Tal] was known for his unconventional style: sacrifices, a lot of bluffing, really risky play,” says Shabalov. “So I guess I’ve picked up a little bit from him and try to play the same style.” Sometimes the risks pay off, but at last year’s U.S. Championship, it led to an unusually early defeat in the second round. “[This] should be a redeeming year,” says Shabalov. ALEXGORDON@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

You can livestream the U.S. Chess Championships at uschesschamps.com starting on March 28.

GOT A TIP? Know of a local sport that isn’t getting the attention it deserves? Did a local athlete just do something incredible that warrants recognition? City Paper Sports want to hear about it: info@pghcitypaper.com

Alex Shabalov {PHOTO COURTESY OF CHESS CLUB AND SCHOLASTIC CENTER OF ST. LOUIS}

{BY ALEX GORDON}

{CP PHOTO BY JOHN HAMILTON}

Pittsburgh Riverhound defender Jack Thompson launches a long pass.

FEEDING TIME I

N A CITY full of fans obsessed with the Steelers, Pirates and Penguins, it’s hard for other professional sports to get attention. Dave Brandt, head coach of the Pittsburgh Riverhounds, the city’s professional soccer franchise, knows this but he’s not making excuses. “The burden is on us, it’s not on Pittsburghers,” says Brandt. “If pro soccer is worth watching, people will come; if not, they won’t. If we are worth watching, they will come watch.” And this year, Brandt says, the Hounds will be worth the price of admission, even if last season was one to forget. In 2016, the Riverhounds ﬁnished second-to-last in their division of the United Soccer League, a second-tier professional league with 29 teams playing in North America. Brandt was brought on midseason, made changes to the roster and playing style, and is conﬁdent the Hounds will bring more consistent excitement to Highmark Stadium this season.

Pittsburgh Riverhounds are hungry to start a new season {BY RYAN DETO}

“I have got super-high hopes,” says middle and upfront,” says Krysinsky. “I’m Brandt. “It’s a very new team, but there not sure if it is enough to be at the top of the needed to be change. We’ve adopted an table, but if they are battling for a playoff aggressive and up-tempo style. It’s gonna spot, that will be a good season.” Regardless of how the Riverhounds be a very aggressive, counter-attacking style. We are excited to play and we will be finish, Gary Smith says attending soccer matches at Highmark is a unique sporting exciting to watch.” Leading that counter-attack style will experience. Smith is part of the Steel Army, be forward Corey Hertzog. The Hounds the Hounds’ official fan club, and says Highmark offers an exciting vibe, striker scored 13 goals in 2016 (fifth plus $5 beers and great views of the best in the league). Brandt also says E MOR S Pittsburgh skyline. the Riverhounds will be solid on O PHOT E “Nothing beats the live atmothe back line (for soccer newbies, LINw. ON at ww aper sphere,” says Smith. “We have that’s “defense”), and will channel p ty pghci m .co nonstop drum-banging and flagthe ball to scorers like Hertzog. waving. We will stand the entire John Krysinsky, who curates the game. If you tried that at a Pens game, Pittsburgh Soccer Report blog and reports on the Riverhounds, feels that if the they would yell at you to sit down.” The Riverhounds open the season Hounds have solid midfielders this season, they have an outside shot of competing for on March 25, at Highmark Stadium, a playoff spot. Riverhounds captain and against defending USL champions the longtime favorite Kevin Kerr will head the New York Red Bulls II. Tickets range from $13-22 and can be purchased at midfield effort. “They do have a lot of talent in the www.riverhounds.com. RYA N D E TO@ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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WHAT A RELIEF {BY MIKE WYSOCKI} LAST WEEK IN this spot, I unveiled the

Pittsburgh Pirates’ top 10 starting pitchers of the past 50 years. Through a calculated formula, it was determined that the “Candy Man,” John Candelaria, was the best of the bunch. This week, we move onto the relievers, a.k.a. the placekickers of baseball. You’re supposed to do your job without a single mistake, or be booed mercilessly. Using a similar formula to last week’s — including wins, earned-run average (ERA), batting average against, strikeouts per nine innings (K/9), walks per nine innings (BB/9), ﬁelding independent pitching (FiP), walks and hits per innings pitched (WHIP), clutch performance, runners-left-on-base percentage, wins above replacement (WAR) and saves — enabled us to ﬁnd the best Pirates relievers since 1967. This award will be known as the Roy Face Award, since Face is the all-time saves leader in franchise history. Face also once went 18-1. He was the model of the modern-day closer. 10. Dan Plesac had the unfortunate luck of always being in the wrong place at the wrong time. He played for the Pirates shortly after the Bucs won three straight division titles. He moved on to the Phillies before they won five consecutive divisions. But Plesac was a guy who came to work. In his 18-year Major League career, he was never once placed on the disabled list. He gets on this list for having a winning record (10-9) in two seasons when the team went 131-175. 9. Matt Capps had more saves than Stan Belinda, a high K/9 innings rate and a low BB/9 innings. Capps had a case of Plesac-itis, but even worse. His whole career, Capps played only for bad teams. He was a Pirate from 2005-09, when the team finished last every year but one — that year they came in next to last. 8. Jason Grilli struck out 12.4 batters every nine innings as a Pirate. For comparison, the all-time leader in that category in the history of baseball is Randy Johnson, who had 10.6. Grilli made it to the All-Star game legitimately in 2013, and not just because they needed a Pirate. Grilli was instrumental in the turnaround year of 2013, when the Bucs mercifully ended 20 years of futility. 7. Bill Landrum saved 56 games for Jim Leyland in his three-year stint in the Three Rivers bullpen. His 1989 season saw 26 of those saves and a 1.67 ERA. Landrum made $75,000 that year — perhaps the best bang-for-a-Bucco contract in history.

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6. Joel Hanrahan might be best remembered for his Lawrenceville-like beard and the fact that he was traded for Mark Melancon. Hammer Time hit PNC for the lean 2009-2012 years. He still nailed down 82 saves and two All-Star games during his tenure, despite being surrounded in

{CP PHOTO BY CHARLIE DEITCH}

Former Pirates closer Mark Melancon

the bullpen by guys like Daniel McCutchen, Chan Ho Park and Brad Lincoln. 5. Tony Watson is the only guy on the list who you can still boo. Watson might have been at the top of the list if the category was set-up men. The Pirates’ current closer has put together impressive stats in his six seasons. He’s 26-13 with a 2.56 ERA and ranks high in nearly every statistical category. 4. Rich “Goose” Gossage is the only Hall of Famer on the list. Goose played only one season for the Pirates, but that was enough to warrant inclusion. Gossage would have finished second on a list of Great Baseball Mustaches of the 1970s, behind only Rollie Fingers. In 1977, Gossage had a 1.67 ERA, a WHIP under 1.00, and more than 10 strikeouts per nine innings. The evil Yankees signed him away the next year. 3. Dave Giusti relied on the now-obsolete palm-ball to lead the league in saves in 1971. Giusti pitched 618 innings as a Pirate and hit only one batter. Giusti took over where Roy Face left off, as Danny Murtaugh used him in the same manner. In the 1971 post-season, Giusti pitched 102/3 innings, allowing no runs and four hits. He still lives in Upper St. Clair, so if you see him around, show some respect. 2. Mark Melancon sometimes made you uneasy, but he really was so good. For example, the worst ERA he ever had with the Bucs was 2.23. Melancon saved 130 games in his time here and had an overall ERA of 1.80. He had the best WHIP of anyone on this list and the fewest walks per nine innings. He never finished a season with Pittsburgh on a losing team. If it weren’t for a shaky postseason against St. Louis in 2013, there’s an argument to be made that he was the best. 1. But that honor goes to Kent Tekulve. Not as intimidating as Gossage, Melancon or Hanrahan, Teke looked more like an accountant or a dentist than a closer. They don’t make lanky, eyeglasswearing, side-armed pitchers anymore. Tekulve saved more games than anyone in Pirates history, except for Face, and has the best WAR by far of any reliever. The clincher was his postseason performance saving three out of the four wins in the 1979 World Series. He was a workhorse as well, pitching in 1,050 games, which still ranks in the top 10 of all time.

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BORN THIS WAY

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1. Sandwich meat 7. Fair share 11. Tunnel maker 14. Streaking, so to speak 15. “Sure, pal” 16. Pricing word 17. Mussolini’s meal? 19. Marnie’s boyfriend on “Girls” 20. Key letters 21. Show a second time 22. Temper tantrums 23. Cleans the plate, as with a piece of bread 25. Networking equipment giant’s debut show? 28. Engage in some humblebragging 30. Bruin whose #4 is retired 31. Amp settings 32. Flora’s partner 35. ___ Draft 38. Program announcing the election of Bernie? (One can dream) 41. Windsock’s dir. 42. Woman with a famous list 43. Took the heart out of 44. Dean Baquet’s newspaper: Abbr. 45. Complaint 46. What a

dentist says after an extraction? 52. Comic Meyers 54. Prod gently 55. Cause of some runners’ advancement 57. Dernier ___ 58. Netflix lacks them 59. Short and sweet foam on a beer? 62. Lovable goofball 63. See 65-Across 64. Tristan’s opera lover 65. With 63-Across, “What nerve!” 66. Comprehends 67. Works in a salon

DOWN 1. Tough pieces of furniture to move 2. Some LSAT questions 3. Basement 4. A story follows one 5. Sierra Club founder John 6. Cricket, e.g. 7. Old LP players 8. “Choose one of these three” 9. “Springtime for Hitler” producer Bloom 10. Bouquet delivery co. 11. Arbor Day month 12. “That’s cool” 13. Marriagedestroying meeting

18. ___ chi ch’uan 22. Needle bearer 24. Musician’s spotlight times 26. “Taboo” actress Chaplin 27. Frolic around 29. Does some testing 31. Pres. who said “Plans are nothing; planning is everything.” 32. London forecast 33. Bird of crosswords 34. Incorporate 35. Axon’s spot 36. Business that’s not taxing? 37. Drug on a sugar cube 39. Division word

40. Lovers of bucks? 44. Eighty-six 45. Eyelid ailment 46. “Un-unh” 47. “Well OB-viously” 48. Social stratum 49. O’Connor who played Gabrielle on “Xena” 50. Big aquarium performers 51. Canton of Altdorf 53. Seeks cover 56. Pause in music 59. Identifying with the sex you’re born as, and what’s added to this puzzle 60. Lit Crit poem 61. Today in Toledo {LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS}

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Free Will Astrology

03.22-03.29

{BY ROB BREZSNY}

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Of course you want to get the best of everything. But that doesn’t mean you should disdain cheap thrills that are more interesting and gratifying than the expensive kind. And of course you enjoy taking risks. But there’s a big difference between gambling that’s spurred by superstitious hunches and gambling rooted in smart research. And of course you’re galvanized by competition. But why fritter away your competitive fire on efforts to impress people? A better use of that fire is to use it to hone your talents and integrity.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): If you own an untamable animal like a bull, the best way to manage it is to provide a fenced but spacious meadow where it can roam freely. So said famous Zen teacher Shunryu Suzuki, using a metaphor to address how we might deal with the unruly beasts in our own psyches. This is excellent advice for you right now, Taurus. I’d hate to see you try to quash or punish your inner wild thing. You need its boisterous power! It will be a fine ally if you can both keep it happy and make it work for you.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): If I were to provide a strict interpretation of the astrological omens, I’d advise you to PARTY HARDY AND ROWDY AND STRONG AND OFTEN! I’d suggest that you attend a raging bash or convivial festivity once every day. And if that were logistically impossible, I’d advise you to stage your own daily celebrations, hopefully stocked with the most vivacious and stimulating people you can find.

But I recognize that this counsel may be too extreme for you to honor. So I will simply invite you to PARTY HARDY AND ROWDY AND STRONG at least twice a week for the next four weeks. It’s the medicine you need.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): You are on the verge of achieving a sly victory over the part of you that is unduly meek and passive. I believe that in the coming weeks you will rise up like a resourceful hero and at least half-conquer a chronic fear. A rumbling streak of warrior luck will flow through you, enabling you to kill off any temptation you might have to take the easy way out. Congratulations in advance, my fellow Cancerian! I have rarely seen our tribe have so much power to triumph over our unconscious attraction to the victim role.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Leo journal entry, Thursday: Am too settled and stale and entrenched. Feeling urges to get cheeky

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and tousled. Friday: So what if I slept a little longer and arrived late? Who cares if the dishes are piling up in the sink? I hereby refuse law and order. Saturday: I’m fantasizing about doing dirty deeds. I’m thinking about breaking the taboos. Sunday: Found the strangest freshness in a place I didn’t expect to. Sometimes chaos is kind of cute and friendly. Monday: The nagging voice of the taskmaster in my head is gone. Ding-dong. Let freedom ring!

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): William Boyd writes novels which require him to do copious research about the real-world milieus he wants his fictional characters to inhabit. For example, to ensure the authenticity of his book Waiting for Sunrise, he found out what it was like to live in Vienna in 1913. He compares his process of searching for juicy facts to the feeding habits of a blue whale: engorging huge amounts of seawater to strain out the plankton that are good to eat. Ninety percent of the information he wades through is irrelevant, but the rest is tasty and nourishing. I suspect you’ll thrive on a similar approach in the coming weeks, Virgo. Be patient as you search for what’s useful.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Here’s a new word for you: enantiodromia. It’s what happens when something turns into its opposite. It’s nature’s attempt to create equilibrium where there has been imbalance. Too much NO becomes YES, for example. A superabundance of yin mutates into yang, or an overemphasis on control generates chaos. Flip-flops like these tend to be messy if we resist them, but interesting if we cooperate. I figure that’s your choice right now. Which will it be? The latter, I hope. P.S.: The reversals that you consciously co-create may not be perfect. But even if they are baffling, I bet they will also be amusing and magnificent.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): When I was 24, I lived in rural North Carolina and had a job washing dishes in a city four miles away. I was too poor to own a bicycle, let alone a car. To get to work I had to trudge down backroads where hostile dogs and drunk men in pickup trucks roamed freely. Luckily, I discovered the art of psychic protection. At first I simply envisioned a golden force field surrounding me. Later I added visualizations of guardian animals to accompany me: two friendly lions and two sheltering wolves. Maybe it was just the placebo effect, but the experiment worked. My allies made me brave and kept me safe. You’re welcome to borrow them, Scorpio, or conjure up your own version of spirit protectors. You’re not in physical danger, but I suspect you need an extra layer of protection against other people’s bad moods, manipulative ploys and unconscious agendas.

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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I’m not suggesting you should listen to your heart with rapt attention every waking minute for the next four weeks. I don’t expect you to neglect the insights your mind has to offer. But I would love to see you boost your attunement to the intelligent organ at the center of your chest. You’re going to need its specific type of guidance more than ever in the coming months. And at this particular moment, it is beginning to overflow with wisdom that’s so rich and raw that it could unleash a series of spiritual orgasms.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The empty space at the end of this sentence has intentionally been left blank. The serene hiatus you just glided through comes to you courtesy of Healing Silence, an ancient form of do-it-yourself therapy. Healing Silence is based on the underappreciated truth that now and then it’s restorative to just SHUT UP and abstain from activity for a while. (As you know, the world is crammed with so much noise and frenzy that it can be hard to hear yourself think — or even feel.) With Healing Silence, you bask in a sanctuary of sweet nothingness for as long as you need to. Please try it sometime soon. Wrap yourself in the luxurious void of Healing Silence.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I hope you won’t feel the need to say any of these things: 1. “I’m sorry I gave you everything I had without making sure you wanted it.” 2. “Will you please just stop asking me to be so real.” 3. “I long for the part of you that you’ll never give me.” Now here are things I hope you will say sometime soon: 1. “I thrived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me.” (This declaration is lifted from novelist Joshua Graham.) 2. “I’m having fun, even though it’s not the same kind of fun everyone else is having.” (Borrowed from author C.S. Lewis.) 3. “I’m not searching for who I am. I’m searching for the person I aspire to be.” (Stolen from author Robert Brault.)

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Are you fantasizing more about what you don’t have and can’t do than what you do have and can do? If so, please raise the “do have” and “can do” up to at least 51 percent. (Eighty percent would be better.) Have you been harshly critiquing yourself more than you have been gently taking care of yourself? If so, get your self-care level up to at least 51 percent. (Eight-five percent is better.) Are you flirting with a backward type of courage that makes you nervous about what everyone thinks of you and expects from you? If so, I invite you to cultivate a different kind of courage at least 51 percent of the time: courage to do what’s right for you no matter what anyone thinks or expects. (Ninety percent is better.)

GO TO REALASTROLOGY.COM TO CHECK OUT ROB BREZSNY’S EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES AND DAILY TEXT-MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. THE AUDIO HOROSCOPES ARE ALSO AVAILABLE BY PHONE AT 1-877-873-4888 OR 1-900-950-7700

Savage Love {BY DAN SAVAGE}

I recently spoke at Curious Minds Weekend, in Toronto, at the Hot Docs Ted Rogers Cinema. Audience members submitted questions on cards before the show —anonymously — but the moderator, Lisan Jutras of the Globe and Mail, and I were having so much fun talking with each other that we didn’t get to many cards. So I’m going to quickly answer as many of the questions from the audience at Curious Minds as I can this week. My husband and I have been seeking a third for a threesome. After a very palpable night of flirtation, I asked a mutual friend (as we shared a cab) if he would be down for a threesome. He said yes, but I was not about to spring him on my husband that night. So I texted him later about it, and he has ignored me. What should I take from this? The hint. A friend’s BF won’t go down on her no matter how much she asks. She still won’t break up with him, even though she told me that oral is the only way she has ever had an orgasm. How do I get her to realize her sexual pleasure is a priority?

Happy birthday. And, yes, it’s normal for a man to slow down as he ages — it’s not her — and there are younger men who take a long time to come. But such men need to take their partners’ physical limitations into consideration. To avoid wearing out their partners’ jaws, fingers, etc., they need to take matters into their own hands. They should enjoy that blowjob, handjob, twatjob or assjob, take breaks to stroke their own dicks, eventually bring themselves to the point of orgasmic inevitability, and end by plunging back into that mouth, fist, twat or ass to blow their load. I have been reading your column since the early 1990s. Since that time, what has struck you in the kind of problems people write you about? People don’t ask me about butt plugs anymore. I used to get a letter once or twice a week from someone who needed to have butt plugs explained to them. But butt plugs have their own Wiki page now, so no one needs me to explain them anymore. But for old times’ sake: They look like lava lamps, they go in your butt, they feel awesome, and they typically don’t induce gay panic in butt-play-curious straight boys.

“IS THERE ANY WAY I COULD LICK YOUR BOOTS CLEAN AFTER THE SHOW?”

If your friend’s BF doesn’t know oral is the only way she can orgasm, she should tell him. If she told him and he doesn’t care, she should dump him. If she told him and he doesn’t care and she won’t dump him, you’re not obligated to listen to her complain about the orgasms she’s not having.

My very Christian friend is about to get married. Though she is socially very liberal, she is pretty sexually repressed. I want to do something to encourage her to explore her sexuality a bit before she takes a try at partnered sex. How weird would it be to buy her a vibrator as a shower present? Don’t give your friend a vibrator at her shower — gifts are opened in front of guests at showers — but go ahead and send her one. Tell her it’s a pre-bachelorette-party gift. Two guys divorced in order to bring a third man into their relationship on equal terms, and they now plan to start a family with their sisters acting as surrogates. Thoughts? Mazel tov? I am 31. My husband (newly married) is 46, almost 47. He takes FOREVER to come, no matter what I do. How do we speed up this process? My jaw, fingers, etc., are all very sore. Your husband speeds up the process by incorporating self-stimulation breaks into the blowjobs, handjobs, et-cetera-jobs you’re giving him. He strokes himself while you take a quick breather and/or an Advil, he gets himself closer, you get back to work.

Would you share your thoughts on our prime minister, Justin Trudeau? I think Justin needs to stop fucking around and legalize weed already, like he promised.

I’m a submissive gay boy. I saw you walk into the theater tonight wearing combat boots. Is there any way I could lick your boots clean after the show? Sadly, I didn’t see your question until after I got back to my hotel. Straight male here. My best male friend of 20 years transitioned to female. I’ve been super supportive since day one, but her transitioning is all she ever talks about, and it’s getting tiresome. I miss our discussions of bicycle repair and Swedish pop music. How can I tell her to give it a rest while remaining supportive? If she began transitioning last week, then of course it’s all she can talk about. If she transitioned five years ago and it’s still all she ever talks about, then you’ll need to (gently) be the change you want to see in the conversation. Listen supportively when she discusses trans issues and seize opportunities (when they arise) to change the subject (“So how do you think Sweden will do in Eurovision this year?”). My male partner never masturbates, and we have sex only once a week. We’ve been together four years. I’m a woman. I would like to have sex just a little more, but he isn’t into it. Is there something weird about me masturbating a bunch during the week and just having weekend sex? Nope.

I’m 47 and my wife is 31. I take a lot longer to come and recover than she would like. Could you please explain to her that it’s normal for a man my age to “slow down” and it’s not her?

On the Lovecast, Dan chats with Brian Whitney, coauthor of a book about the “Cannibal Cop”: savagelovecast.com.

SEND YOUR QUESTIONS TO MAIL@SAVAGELOVE.NET AND FIND THE SAVAGE LOVECAST (DAN’S WEEKLY PODCAST) AT SAVAGELOVECAST.COM

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Programs start at $70

Call today 412-434-6700 and get scheduled

Suboxone, Subutex A and R Health Services Pittsburgh, Pa

Serving Western Pennsylvania

www.suboxonehelps.org

1-800-817-4053 www.aandrsolutions.com

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FREE LIVE MUSIC

Listen to local favorites from around the Steel City perform live Thursdays â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Saturdays

LOUNGE THURSDAY, MARCH 23

HEWLETT ANDERSON DUO FRIDAY, MARCH 24

DARRYL & KIM DUO SATURDAY, MARCH 25

ON THE LEVEL THURSDAY, MARCH 30

KEVIN HOWARD TRIO FRIDAY, MARCH 31

FRIDAY, MARCH 24

VDJ STASKO SATURDAY, MARCH 25

THE HOBBS SISTERS FRIDAY, MARCH 31

THE DELANEYS

TONY JANFLONE JR SLOTS | TABLE GAMES | DINING | NIGHTLIFE 777 CASINO DRIVE, PITTSBURGH PA 15212 RIVERSCASINO.COM DOWNLOAD OUR APP RIVERSCASINO.COM/PITTSBURGH/APP

GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER. Must be 21 or older to be on Rivers Casino property. Visit RiversCasino.com for complete lineup. Acts subject to change.