February 15, 2017 - Pittsburgh City Paper

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400 Live Music! Local Food! 125+ Breweries!

February 24-25

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EVENTS 2.18 – 8pm SOUNDS SERIES: HYPERCUBE The Warhol theater Co-presented with the Music on the Edge series of the University of Pittsburgh Department of Music Free parking in The Warhol lot.

Tickets: $20/$15 students; visit www.music.pitt.edu/tickets or call 412.624.7529

3.4 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: FIDELIO TRIO The Warhol theater Co-presented with the Music on the Edge series of the University of Pittsburgh Department of Music Free parking in The Warhol lot Tickets: $20/$15 students

3.10 – 7pm WHAT COUNTS AS HUMAN? A DISCUSSION WITH CHRISTOPHER FYNSK, URSULA HEISE, AND ILLAH NOURBAKHSH The Warhol theater Presented with Carnegie Nexus, as part of the Strange Times series.

FREE; Registration suggested, visit warhol.org.

3.16 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: KID KOALA: NUFONIA MUST FALL Carnegie Music Hall (Oakland) Presented with Carnegie Nexus, as part of the Strange Times series.

Tickets $20/$15 members & students

3.18 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: DUNGEN THE WARHOL THEATER Tickets $25/$20 members & students

2-17 — 5-21 Inspired by lineages of black resistance in works primarily of female subjects, Báez’s Bloodlines utilizes the history of social movements in the United States and the Caribbean to address contemporary issues with race and identity politics.

412.237.8300 www.warhol.org

117 Sandusky St., Pittsburgh, PA 15212

Firelei Báez: Bloodlines is organized by Pérez Art Museum Miami Assistant Curator María Elena Ortiz. The Pittsburgh presentation is coordinated by Jessica Beck, The Warhol’s associate curator of art. Support for the Pittsburgh presentation is generously provided

by Karen and Jim Johnson, Vivian and Bill Benter, Michele Fabrizi, and Kiya Tomlin. Firelei Báez: Bloodlines and its presentation at the Pérez Art Museum Miami was made possible by BNY Mellon with additional support from Chloé.

The Andy Warhol Museum receives state arts funding support through a grant from the Pennsylvania Council on the Arts, a state agency funded by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania; the National Endowment for the Arts, a federal agency and The Heinz Endowments. Further support is provided by the Allegheny Regional Asset District.

Image: Firelei Báez, Sans-Souci (This threshold between a dematerialized and a historicized body), 2015, collection Pérez Art Museum Miami, museum, purchase with funds WYV]PKLK I` 3LZSPL HUK .YLN -LYYLYV HUK 9VZL ,SSLU 4L`LYOVɈ .YLLUL

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Editor CHARLIE DEITCH News Editor REBECCA ADDISON Arts & Entertainment Editor BILL O’DRISCOLL Associate Editor AL HOFF Web Producer ALEX GORDON Staff Writers RYAN DETO, CELINE ROBERTS Interns JOHN HAMILTON, KATEY LADIKA, AMANI NEWTON, ALONA WILLIAMS

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LANDMARKS PRESERVATION RESOURCE CENTER - A program of the Pittsburgh History & Landmarks Foundation Foundation

Join us at the Landmarks Preservation Resource Center for ongoing workshops as we continue programming on architecture, history, design, urban planning, and other topics related to how cities function and historic preservation as a tool of community development.

[MARKETING+PROMOTIONS] Marketing Director DEANNA KONESNI Marketing Design Coordinator LINDSEY THOMPSON Marketing Assistant THRIA DEVLIN

[NEWS]

“Small developers do not invite any collaboration with the community.”

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TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 21 • 6:00 PM – 7:30 PM

Circulation Director JIM LAVRINC Office Administrator RODNEY REGAN Interactive Media Manager CARLO LEO

WORKSHOP: DESIGNING KITCHENS FOR OLDER AND HISTORIC HOUSES JULIE GRAF: One of a Kind Designs

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Remodeling a kitchen can be a challenging and costly endeavor. Renovating a kitchen in an older home can come with even more obstacles and uncertainty, so making sure the design and plan are right is critical. The workshop will touch on a variety of kitchen design topics including, assessing needs and function in the 21st Century kitchen, tips for embracing troublesome openings and obstacles, and choosing a style that is timeless for older- and newer-homes. Additional topics for the seminar will include planning for adequate lighting, differences in cabinet styles and finishes, typical space allowances, making the space adaptable for multiple users of differing ages and abilities, historic rehab considerations, budgeting, and more.

About the Presenter: Julie Graf is the 17-year owner of One of a Kind Design, an Interior Design firm focused on residential and small commercial spaces. She is a Certified Kitchen Designer through the NKBA, and Allied Member of the American Society of Interior Designers, the Senior Designer at Myers Custom Woodworks, and a member of the Franklin Chamber of Commerce, Venango Chamber of Commerce, PHLF, Western Pa Conservancy, and the Frank Lloyd Wright Preservation Trust.appreciated: marylu@phlf.org or 412-471-5808 ext. 527

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THIS WEEK

“WE SAW POTENTIAL WHERE OTHERS DIDN’T.”

ONLINE

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This week, City Paper teams up with Instagram collective @SteelCityGrammers for a photo essay on Regent Square.

Check out their photos on page 46 and at www.pghcitypaper.com.

Tune in to Five Minutes in Food History, where we explore bitters with Wigle Whiskey’s Jill Steiner.

Listen online at www.pghcitypaper.com.

{CP PHOTO BY JOHN HAMILTON}

Cora Vercellotti, a former Wylie Holdings tenant, near her apartment in middle Lawrenceville

Checkk outt our new weekly kl IInstagram t series, #CPStreetPortraits, featuring our neighbors in Pittsburgh and surrounding areas.

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Our featured #CPReaderArt photo from last week is by @jakemysliwczyk. Use #CPReaderArt to share your local photos with us for your chance to be featured next!

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WILY DEVELOPMENT I

N 2000, Lawrenceville resident Joseph Zmenkowski passed away at the age of 81. He had owned his home on Denny Street for 50 years. A year later, a small real-estate company called Wylie Holdings bought his home through an estate sale for $1,000. Sixteen years later, the property is listed on Wylie’s website as “ready for renovation” with an asking price of $165,000.

Pictures on Wylie’s website show walls covered in chipped paint, a kitchen with ancient appliances and an attic filled with holes and rotted wood. Also, Pittsburgh City Paper couldn’t find any renovation permits for the property listed in the records of Pittsburgh’s Department of Permits, Licenses and Inspections.

The process of buying a property cheaply, waiting and making no improvements, and then selling high is known

as land speculation. Free-market proponents say it’s the benefit of entering a risky market early; critics say the tactic can inhibit the equitable, communityminded development neighborhoods try to achieve.

Wylie Holdings has cashed in on Lawrenceville’s revitalization, but is it being a good neighbor? {BY RYAN DETO} For Wylie, land speculation is just one part of a mixed real-estate portfolio. While Wylie’s management team of Joe Edelstein and Ron King have been a force in helping Lawrenceville’s Butler Street transform

from grubby streetscape to Pittsburgh’s hippest business district, their record as landlords has drawn strong criticism from tenants. And while Wylie has won more than 30 awards for preserving historic buildings, some community-oriented developers say Wylie’s development tactics also help to spur gentrification and, at times, can hold properties hostage in the name of earning profits. Financially, Wylie has become wildly successful, cashing in on the rapidly changing housing market in Lawrenceville and beyond. But what does this mean for the neighborhoods it works in?

Rick Swartz, of the community-development organization Bloomfield-Garfield Corp., says residents who are concerned with rising home prices and rents have little ability to keep their neighborhood affordable.

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high rents and expensive home sales.

Lawrenceville Corporation, a community-development group, has taken steps to address affordable housing over the past couple of years by establishing a Community Land Trust. In it, seven homes will maintain affordability from owner to owner in perpetuity, but Swartz says Lawrenceville Corporation has a long way to go to catch up to Wylie and similar developers.

(Wylie recently sold an unrenovated house on the far edge of Lawrenceville, past 57th Street, for $300,000.)

“Someone fired the starting pistol, and all the other horses were released from the gate, and [Lawrenceville Corporation] are still back in the gate,” says Swartz.

“The community has no leverage, either legal or moral, that it can use to stop that from happening,” says Swartz. “What it obviously does, is it raises the stakes of the people in the community that are trying stay.”

STARTING ABOUT 20 years ago, in a small office on Butler Street, Wylie began scooping up properties for cheap, mostly in Lawrenceville. It purchased lots and homes, sometimes for only a few hundred dollars, through private estate sales and from the city of Pittsburgh and the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development. Since then, Wylie has bought and sold hundreds of properties. Some properties it remodeled and sold within a couple of years, making hundreds of thousands of dollars in profit, while creating homes Wylie is proud of.

“We saw potential where others didn’t,” wrote Wylie business manager Joe Edelstein in an email to CP. (Wylie would only agree to answer questions for this story by email.) “There were few, if any, other interested buyers, and it was a risky business strategy that involved buying hundreds of small properties with hopes of spurring revitalization in the long run.”

With dozens of these properties, Wylie made no improvements and sold them for amounts that were sometimes more than 20 times its original investment.

The company is currently employing this strategy on a lot in Bloomfield, which it purchased in 2014 for $6,800 from Bank of New York Mellon.

The gravel lot is next to the new 39unit affordable-housing building for veterans on Penn Avenue and Mathilda Street. Affordable-housing nonprofit Ac-

A 2009 study from National Bureau of {CP PHOTO BY JOHN HAMILTON}

Wylie Holdings office on Butler Street

tion Housing developed the property, and its director, Linda Metropulos, says Action tried to purchase the adjacent, Wylieowned lot twice to use as an extra parking lot for tenants (initially for $32,000 and later for $52,000). Wylie refused, and the gravel lot, originally listed at $300,000, is currently under contract.

According to a review of Allegheny County property-record data, when factoring in purchase and sale prices, as well as renovation costs listed in Pittsburgh’s permit department, Wylie made more than $3 million in profit from property sales and flips in 2016. Of this $3 million, $1.6 million was earned from land speculation alone. Since 1998, Wylie has purchased 171 properties, mostly in Lawrenceville, and has sold 54 of those so far.

Swartz says this puts those who want to

create equitable development in neighborhoods behind the eight ball. “The private market is going to do what it wants to do,” says Swartz. “As long as it’s not illegal and conforms to city code, there is not a whole lot people can do to deflect the trend, other than outrun it.”

But that strategy likely won’t work for Lawrenceville. Most of Wylie’s properties are in that neighborhood, and the company has had a presence there since the beginning of the neighborhood’s revitalization. For its part, Wylie contributed to Lawrenceville Corporation’s goal of transforming Butler Street by renovating retail spaces along the corridor, which helped attract the hip retailers and restaurants that dominate there today. Swartz says this strategy helped light the fuse for a development explosion, which has contributed to

Economic Research shows that groups like Lawrenceville Corporation may now have a steep climb. The study compared buyers in the housing market with those in the stock market. It showed that small companies like Wylie can have an oversized effect on housing prices, and can drastically increase home prices in neighborhoods, even if it purchases only a small percentage of the overall housing stock. “In the housing market, a market where volume is much lower than in the stock market, optimists can drive up the price while spending much less wealth and obtaining a far smaller market share,” the study found.

Swartz says this is good and bad for long-time homeowners. Some will benefit from selling their homes for significant profits, but others wishing to stay will likely face rising property taxes. And renters will have to deal with higher and higher rents.

One of those renters is Cora Vercellotti.

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Discover your career path at the Library. Ask us about classes, one-on-one career counseling and résumé, interview and job search assistance.

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desist letter that Wylie sent him after he posted a critical opinion of them online.)

Vercellotti says she has truth on her side. (She showed CP videos backing up her claims of a leaky roof and other problems.)

She embraces the cease-and-desist order as a badge of honor. “I keep the cease-and-desist on my fridge to remind me of my own power,” she says. “And that [way], when others try to silence me, my power in truth is all the more vital.”

She says “all you need to do is take a walk in Lawrenceville” to see people being pushed out. She cites the new construction of sleek, modern homes on almost every block, and moving boxes in front of older homes as signs of a changing neighborhood.

IN ADDITION to land speculation and

home-flipping, Wylie also maintains a number of rental properties. Lawrenceville’s Vercellotti rented a Wylie-owned apartment beginning in December 2013. She was 22 years old and working her first job in the finance industry. She wanted a nice place of her own, so she inquired about a one-bedroom Wylie listing in East Liberty.

It was still under renovation, but the $850 rent was too good to pass up.

When she moved in, the renovations were done and the place looked great.

However, she says, it soon became obvious those fixes were only cosmetic. The exposed-brick wall had holes that leaked puddles of water into the apartment. The heat and hot water didn’t work, and Vercellotti says the utility company couldn’t turn them on because both the furnace and water heater had “do not operate” tags. “I was 22, I did not know to check if the place was livable,” she says. “Why would they rent it out if it wasn’t?”

After sending numerous emails and

{PHOTO COURTESY OF CORA VERCELLOTTI}

Wylie Holdings’ cease-and-desist letter to a former tenant

making many calls complaining about the unit, Wylie let her out of the lease several months early, in May 2014. However, when it came time to return her $1,200 security deposit, Wylie only gave her $200, citing the damage to the unit.

But Vercellotti says the damage was caused by the leaky wall and other issues with the unit that were beyond her control. “All the damage was their fault.”

But she didn’t have the energy to fight for her deposit.

“Do I want a grand, or do I want to spend 40 hours of my life arguing with rich people who have lawyers?” she says. “Why [did they] need my $1,000 so badly. I don’t understand the greed.”

Anna Sekine, a student at Chatham University, lived in a Wylie unit in Lawrenceville with her sister for one year. When she moved out, she says, she “made sure that everything was meticulously clean, because we really needed our security deposit back.” When they left, Sekine says Wylie claimed it took “a crew of three to four men to paint our 700-square-foot apartment over 16 hours” and refused to return most of her deposit.

Wylie officials say they have had only “rare exceptions” of bad tenant-landlord interactions. “We are comfortable with our tenant practices and proud of our business reputation,” wrote Edelstein.

And at least one of Wylie’s current tenants agrees. Megan Dyer lives in Lawrenceville and says Wylie has been a “great company to rent from.” She cites its promptness in addressing maintenance issues and extremely pet-friendly polic ies as benefits to living in Wylie properties.

Wylie embraces support from tenants like Dyer (a testimonial on Wylie’s website from “Meg D” cites similar praise). But when former tenants voice more critical views, the company bites back.

When Vercellotti posted her Wylie experience on NextDoor Lawrenceville, a social-networking site for neighbors, Wylie sent her a cease-and-desist letter saying she was spreading “false, destructive, and defamatory rumors” about the company. (Another former tenant, Brian McDowell, also showed CP a cease-and-

HOWEVER, WYLIE sees itself as a good community player. In Edelstein’s email to CP, he cites Wylie’s sponsorship of such places and events as the community dog park, the annual Butler Street Cookie Tour and Art All Night. “[We’ve] contributed time and money to just about every organization and event that exists in Lawrenceville,” he wrote.

But critics argue such sponsorship doesn’t address the neighborhood’s mostpressing concerns. Swartz, of BloomfieldGarfield Corp., says neighborhoods like Lawrenceville are struggling to create enough permanently affordable units to counter skyrocketing rent.

“Small developers like Wylie and others do not invite any collaboration with the community,” says Swartz. “It’s almost like they all went to the same school and learned the first thing you do when buying distressed property in an innercity neighborhood is not to contact the community organization.”

Swartz says Wylie is hardly alone in this financial pursuit, and a few developers have snatched up cheap Garfield properties, looking to flip them into luxury units for significant profit.

“Real-estate speculation can be a very amoral enterprise,” says Swartz. “[It’s] really about one thing and that is making money. It’s not about serving a neighborhood or serving a population that arguably needs a little help.”

Jeanne McNutt, of Up t ow n P a r t ne rs , s ay s her neighborhood has been held hostage by land speculators for years. Uptown is a small neighborhood sitting between Downtown and Oakland with only about 800 residents, but 25 acres of mostly empty parking lots. McNutt says one family owns about 150 properties in Uptown, and another speculator owns 60. McNutt says both of these speculators are just sitting on most of their properties, many of which are vacant, hoping to make a substantial profit on a future sale.

“Investment in Uptown has reached

“REAL-ESTATE SPECULATION CAN BE A VERY AMORAL ENTERPRISE.”

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.15/02.22.2017

sex, love, & science Feb. 17 is our next NO-KIDS night!

Explore the science behind sex and reproduction. Ask experts questions, experiment with latex, and learn about the biology of disease transmission.

Plus, live music, time in the exhibits, cash bars, and NO KIDS! CarnegieScienceCenter.org

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CARNEGIE SCIENCE CENTER

*Certain restrictions apply.

NOT YOUR R ORDINARY BLACK B HISTORY MONTH

@ AWC

CINEMA FOR THE SOUL.

SHOWCASE

NOIR

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 22, 2017 AUGUST WILSON CENTER

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BLACK BOTTOM FILM FESTIVAL FEBRUARY 24 - 26, 2017

FEBRUARY 24 – 26, 2017

AUGUST WILSON CENTER

AUGUST WILSON CENTER

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a new high,” says McNutt. “It’s time for [these speculators] to unburden the neighborhood by selling parking lots … to make way for mixed-use development, including housing and much-needed retail.”

BUT CAN anything be done to keep developers from altering the economic landscapes of neighborhoods?

For more than a decade, says Pittsburgh Mayor Bill Peduto’s chief of staff, Kevin Acklin, city-owned properties were merely listed on the city’s real-estateholdings website. From there, anyone could purchase city-owned plots with little oversight. This is how companies like Wylie were able to purchase a fair amount of city-owned lots for really cheap, says Acklin.

“In prior administrations, the thought process was it was too expensive and burdensome to hold onto city land,” Acklin says. “So the assumption was land should be just sold.”

Now, Acklin says that process has flipped. The city and its Urban Redevelopment Authority are close to finalizing a 25-item plan meant to ensure that cityowned land is sold more carefully. Ideally,

the city hopes to maintain some of its land to be used as parkland, storm-water management, or affordable-housing development. He says that about a year ago, the administration stopped selling land just to unload it. “This is our wealth,” says Acklin. “Vacant and abandoned properties are not a liability, they are an asset.”

Acklin added that the administration is not hostile to private development, and that it encourages developers to improve the housing stock. But he says the city must be better at managing property sales to developers, and at seeking buyers who have the community’s best interests at heart.

“We created this new process so we can avoid the speculative developers who don’t do community-driven development, or those who have not paid taxes and are looking to buy up land to sit on it and expose communities to blight,” Acklin says.

But while developers may have a harder time getting their hands on cheap public land, there’s nothing stopping them from aggressively pursuing private land. In just the past three months, for example, Wylie has purchased nine lots in Lawrenceville for a combined $147,000.

RYA N D E TO@ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

JENSORENSEN

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.15/02.22.2017

Riding Port Authority is now faster, simpler and easier than ever before.

SAVE MONEY WITH A CONNECTCARD Pay $2.50 per ride with a ConnectCard or $2.75 when you pay with cash.

We’ve made it simple

ONE ZONE No matter how far you travel, pay $2.50 per ride when you use a ConnectCard.

NO MORE PAPER TRANSFERS If you're paying with cash, you pay $2.75 each time you ride. But with a ConnectCard, you’ll pay $1.00. Simply load your card with stored cash value prior to riding, then tap it at the farebox on your connecting trip. When tapped within three hours of your initial tap, $1 will automatically be deducted from your card in order to pay for the transfer.

PAY AS YOU ENTER USING THE FRONT DOOR OF THE BUS Regardless of travel direction or time of day.

More details are available by calling Port Authority Customer Service at 412.442.2000 or by going to simple.portauthority.org for our Fact Sheet.

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STAY GOLD Tattoo shop celebrates civil-rights activists {BY MEG FAIR} IT’S EASY for everyday citizens to feel helpless and pessimistic when the political and social landscape suggests a postapocalyptic dystopian universe.

But Marcus Nati, tattoo artist and coowner of Stay Gold Tattoo, in Coraopolis, refused to let the feeling of being overwhelmed stop him from helping out. For at least the month of February, Nati will be doing portraits of civil-rights activists for $200 a piece and donating $50 from each payment to the charity of the client’s choice.

Nati has been tattooing for 15 years, including a decade at Stay Gold. Although he’s aided various causes by playing benefit shows with punk and hardcore bands and donating to animal-rights organizations, this is the first time his visual art has taken a political angle.

“I guess I never felt the need to until now,” says Nati. “I can waste my time worrying if things are going to be OK, or I can do something about it.”

So far he has tattooed a portrait of Martin Luther King Jr., with the donation being made to the Afro American Music Institute.

The Homewood-based organization teaches music from an African-American perspective with programs like its AAMI Boys Choir, a weekly jazz ensemble workshop and a two-week

{CP PHOTOS BY KATEY LADIKA}

Marcus Nati from Stay Gold Tattoo gives Angela Skinner a Frida Kahlo civil-rights tattoo.

STAY GOLD TATTOO 1207 Fourth Ave., Coraopolis.

412-264-5479

Summer Music Intensive camp.

Some of Nati’s appointments include portraits of feminist, Latina painter Frida Ka hlo, a n d Woody G ut h r ie, wh os e “This Land Is Your Land” made an appearance in Lady Gaga’s shade-filled Super Bowl performance.

Several clients have also expressed interest in a portrait of Emma Goldman, an anarchist author who was dep o r t ed t o

“I THINK ARTISTS HAVE ALWAYS SHAPED THE POLITICAL LANDSCAPE.”

Russia for her rabble-rousing literature and activism.

“What excites me most about this project is finding out what civil-rights activists other people are into,” says Nati.

“Their enthusiasm then inspires me to research images, read biographies and watch documentaries.”

Tattooing these leaders on friends and new clients serves as a positive distraction for Nati and gives him an opportunity to learn from others’ experiences.

“We share stories and relate to each other on different topics. Over the years I’ve learned so much from my clients,” says Nati. “At the end of the day, we all want to be treated fairly and live free.”

Nati encourages other artists who are feeling helpless to consider using their talents for action.

“I think artists have always shaped the political landscape,” says Nati. “If [other artists] want to get involved more directly, I say make art that speaks to people about important issues.”

And if Nati were to pick a portrait for himself, he points to Victoria Woodhull, an early sex-positive feminist theorist who owned a brokerage firm and ran for president 50 years before women could even vote. (The term “sex-positive” is anachronistic, but the closest to Woodhull’s ideology without requiring a whole lecture on feminist theory.) Nati’s donation would be made to Pittsburgh Action Against Rape (PAAR).

“Initially, the idea was to run this series only for the month of February,” says Nati. “But I am happy to continue doing these for as long as there is a demand.”

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933 Liberty Avenue 1.800.230.PLAN www.ppwp.org @PPWPA

PYRAMIDTATTOO.COM Bridgeville, Pa

[PITTSBURGH LEFT]

FLEE CIRCUS {BY CHARLIE DEITCH} I READ A LOT of news websites and news-

papers and, for as long as I can remember, I’ve gotten a knot in my stomach on reading the word “flee” in a bold, black headline.

There are many words and phrases that one can use to describe the act of leaving — depart, hit the road, skedaddle, vacate — but fleeing, to me, has always meant escaping some life-threatening danger.

For example: “Jews Flee Persecution” (The New York Times, March 20, 1933) “Negro Pickets Flee Tear Gas in Mississippi” (Chicago Tribune, April 6, 1966) “More Flee Angry Mountain: New Killer Volcano Threat” (Seattle PostIntelligencer, May 20, 1980) “55,000 Cambodians Flee Homes as Khmer Rouge Increase Raids” (New York Times, April 4, 1994) “‘All You Can Do Is Run’: Central American Children Fleeing Violence Head for Mexico” (The Guardian, Feb. 10, 2016)

But then I wake up this morning and see this headline from CNN: “Fleeing America: Why refugees are risking life and limb to escape to Canada.” It seems that this country’s anti-immigrant/anti-refugee policies are so bad and so frightening that people are willing to risk dying to leave. Five Somali refugees trudged through several feet of snow to get from North Dakota to Manitoba.

“I could pay whatever it takes because the price is my life,” Ahmed told reporters. “I know if I stay in the United States, I would be deported.”

These are people who escaped violence and terror in their home countries. They wanted a better life, and for a lot of refugees and immigrants, the United States has been the best option. After all, we are the home of the American dream. You can have anything you want if you’re willing to work hard and sacrifice.

But things aren’t like that anymore.

This is a new America where people in power decide what the facts are. This is an America where fear and hatred are starting to overtake compassion and understanding as the national emotions.

This is an America where our president insults those who speak out against him and devalues their opinions. This is an America that people flee in fear.

The new American dream is one of

lily-white isolationism wrapped up in catchy phrases like “America First.” It’s a place where immigrants like Martín Esquivel-Hernandez came when they were forced to flee the violence of their home countries. Most people, by now, know Esquivel-Hernadez’s story. A member of the Mexican military, he fled threats on his life in Mexico City, came to Pittsburgh to join his family, and became a wellregarded community activist. Since then, he has been detained and charged federally; last week, he was deported.

He and others like him are labeled “illegal” because it makes it easier for people to treat them poorly. But he wasn’t illegal; he was a refugee who tried to go through proper channels to get asylum. He was denied. So what should he have done? For some people, the answer is easy: Get out of the country. If your own life were endangered by going home, you wouldn’t go there. But that’s what we’re ordering people to do — forcing people to do.

Over the weekend it was reported that refugees are fleeing to Canada in record numbers. Do you know what Canada is doing in response? It is welcoming them.

Unlike our moronic president who tweets bile at his critics, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau tweeted this after the U.S. enacted its travel ban: “To those fleeing persecution, terror & war, Canadians will welcome you, regardless of your faith.

Diversity is our strength. #WelcomeToCanada.”

Many refugees in the United States are taking him up on his offer. They are willing to risk losing limbs to frostbite if the alternative is being shipped back to their home countries where they’re likely to lose their lives long before their time. Right now there are millions of Syrian refugees who have been displaced by that country’s civil war. Hundreds of thousands are living in camps at their country’s borders, hoping for someone to take them in.

Not only are we not doing that anymore, I’m starting to imagine that before the end of Trump’s presidency we will have our own refugee camps set up on the Canadian border. Laugh now, but I don’t see any other future as this country continues on the path of pigheaded isolationism all in the name of national security.

blogh.pghcitypaper.com

The first hit is free.

Actually, so are all the others.

THE NEW AMERICAN DREAM IS ONE OF LILY-WHITE ISOLATIONISM WRAPPED UP IN CATCHY PHRASES LIKE “AMERICA FIRST.”

CD EI TC H @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

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[GREEN LIGHT]

CLIMATE CONUNDRUM {BY BILL O’DRISCOLL} A CONTROVERSIAL technology touted to fight climate change is back in the news.

Carbon capture and storage (CCS) is the process of stripping carbon dioxide from the emissions of coal-fired power plants — the world’s largest source of greenhouse gasses — then compressing it into a liquid and piping it deep underground. While CCS has long been studied, it’s been deployed mostly in demonstration projects. But in January, near Houston, NRG Energy opened the world’s first large-scale CO2-capture project at a coal-fired plant. The commercial project, named Petra Nova, raised CCS supporters’ hopes.

The controversy over CCS, however, doesn’t reflect the familiar struggle between people worried about climate change and those who deny that it’s real.

Instead, it’s two groups equally concerned about climate. CCS supporters contend that because the world will likely continue relying on coal, oil and natural gas for decades, CCS is needed to reduce emissions to acceptable levels. Critics counter that CCS is costly and unproven, and that

instead we should pursue energy conservation, efficiency and renewable energy, eliminating the need for fossil fuels altogether. In recent years, articles in Wired and National Geographic have backed CCS as necessary, while pieces in The New York Times and Fortune have voiced skepticism.

CCS backers include Edward Rubin, a Carnegie Mellon University professor of engineering and public policy. Rubin calls CCS the most cost-effective way to reduce CO2 emissions, and emphasizes that it can also be employed at gas-fired power plants and other industrial facilities. He acknowledges

that CCS is pricey, but notes that once a technology is deployed commercially, costs invariably drop. The big obstacle for CCS, he says, is that polluters still lack an economic incentive to employ it; a strong government climate policy, like a price on carbon emissions, would make it feasible. “The technology is ready to go and waiting for a reason to use it,” says Rubin.

But many environmental groups are wary of CCS — and only partly because it threatens to prolong the devastation wrought by coal-mining; the problems associated with coal-ash disposal; and all the other air pollution created when we burn coal. Critics emphasize that power plants using CCS require about 30 percent more energy; that would mean even more mining, and an increase in the price of electricity, even as power from renewables like wind and solar grows ever cheaper.

CCS “continues to be extremely expensive,” says Tom Schuster, the Johnstown-based senior campaign representative for the Sierra Club’s Beyond Coal campaign. “It’s unlikely that it’s ever going to be cost-competitive.”

Schuster cites the Southern Company’s Kemper County plant, in Mississippi, which only just opened after years of delays and $4 billion in cost overruns — and which at press time wasn’t even capturing CO2 yet.

Moreover, that new NRG plant near Houston is economically viable only because it sells its CO2 to oil companies who use it to force more oil from the ground: not exactly a win-win for the climate. And because CCS research has been heavily subsidized by the federal government, pursuing it carries an opportunity cost: “There are limited resources; we should be focusing our attention elsewhere,” says Schuster.

Even some researchers working on CCS have doubts about its economic vi-

ability. At a recent talk at Carnegie Science Center, for instance, Christopher E. Wilmer, an assistant professor in the University of Pittsburgh’s department of chemical and petroleum engineering, described a revolutionary method for capturing carbon, which substitutes synthetic molecules called MOFs for the solvents currently used to strip carbon from emissions. Ideally, the new method would raise electricity prices somewhat less than current CCS techniques. But with the price of renewables still falling, Wilmer said, “It could be that CO2 capture is just fundamentally uncompetititive.”

About those renewables: Some CCS critics say they are already cheaper than coal-fired electricity. CCS proponents counter that power from renewables remains intermittent (the sun doesn’t always shine, etc.), and that advocates for renewables tend to discount the cost of energy storage and other technology that a massive shift to renewables would entail.

Then there are the issues surrounding the underground storage of carbon, typically in saline aquifers or exhausted oil or gas wells. CMU’s Rubin says that given the proper geology and monitoring, storage can be done right. But critics note that a leak would undo all of one’s expensive CCS work. Schuster cites the earthquakes caused by underground storage of waste fluid from fracking. Further, while stored carbon would require monitoring for centuries, the world’s longest-running experience with carbon storage, in Norway, dates back only two decades.

Another question is the political viability of CCS. The Obama administration supported CCS — going so far, for instance, as to pledge $1 billion to revive a CCS project called FutureGen 2.0, which had failed under the Bush administration, before again pulling the plug in 2015.

On the campaign trail, Donald Trump occasionally blurted out the words “clean coal,” but as with so much else, it’s unclear what he meant by the phrase.

Coal is inescapably a dirty energy source from the mine shaft on. “Clean coal” is a contradiction in terms, but it’s used as a marketing slogan to reference a variety of strategies for making coal’s use less damaging. One such strategy is CCS. But why would Trump, who doesn’t seem to accept the scientific consensus on climate change, commit any resources to address the problem? In the near term, that might be as big a question as how well CCS can actually do the job.

“THERE ARE LIMITED RESOURCES; WE SHOULD BE FOCUSING OUR ATTENTION ELSEWHERE.”

D RI S C OL L @ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.15/02.22.2017

News of the Weird

S E N D YO U R W E IRD N E W S TO WE IR DNE WS@E A RTH L IN K. N E T O R W W W. N E W S O FTH E W E IRD. CO M

{BY CHUCK SHEPHERD}

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On Jan. 31, doctors at Stanley Medical College and Hospital in Chennai, India, removed a live, full-grown cockroach from the nasal cavity of a 42-year-old woman whose nose had been “itchy” earlier in the day. Two hospitals were unable to help her, but at Stanley, Dr. M.N. Shankar, chief of ear-nose-throat, used an endoscope, forceps and, for 45 minutes, a suction device — because, he said, the roach “didn’t seem to want to come out.” Another doctor on the team noted that they’ve removed beads and similar items from nasal cavities (demonstrating the splayed-out trespasser in full wingspan), “but not a cockroach, especially not one this large.” [Times of India, Feb. 3, 2017]

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Zachary Bennett and Karen Nourse have found Manhattan quite affordable, reported the New York Post in January — by simply not paying, for six years now, the $4,750 monthly rent on their loft-style apartment in the Chelsea neighborhood, citing New York state’s “loft law,” which they say technically forbids the landlord from collecting. Since the other eight units of their building are “commercial,” the landlord believes it doesn’t need a “residential certificate of occupancy,” but Bennett and Nourse believe the law only exempts buildings with at least two residences, and for some reason, the landlord has obstinately declined to initiate eviction or, until recently, to sue (for back rent, fees, and electricity). [New York Post, Jan. 8, 2017]

(2) A 37-year-old Saanich, British Columbia, man did not die but nearly bled out before being heroically rescued following his parking-rage blunder. Angered that another driver had parked too close to his own car, he grabbed a knife and stabbed a tire on the other vehicle with such force that he wound up slashing the main artery in his leg. [Florida Times-Union (Jacksonville), Jan. 26, 2017] [Global News BC, Jan. 27, 2017]

for Garcia, who was accused of giving the middle finger, in public, to another judge. [Associated Press via KTVT-TV (Dallas-Fort Worth), Jan. 20, 2017]

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A suspect pointing a gun attempted a robbery at a laundry in Upper Darby, Pa, in February, but was not immediately identified.

(The official reason for not initially identifying him was that, though detained, he had not yet been booked; less likely, perhaps, police might have been trying to spare him embarrassment in that the laundry’s overnight clerk, a woman named Naou Mor Khantha, had simply taken his gun away from him and shot him three times. He was hospitalized in serious condition.)

[Philly.com, Feb. 3, 2017]

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The Passing Parade: (1) Thomas Pinson, 21, was arrested in St. Petersburg, Fla., in January and charged with domestic battery for roughing up his mother (even though, presumably lovingly, he had her full name tattooed on his chest). (2) Police arrested a 22-year-old knife-wielding man in a restroom on a train in Dusseldorf, Germany, in January. The man, naked, appeared “quite annoyed” at being hassled, did not have a ticket to ride, and said he was using the knife to shave his genital area because he was not welcome at home. [The Smoking Gun, Jan. 9, 2017] [Associated Press via WJLA-TV (Washington, D.C.), Jan. 10, 2017]

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What Goes Around, Comes Around: (1) In January, Jesse Denton, 24, driving a stolen truck, tried to flee police on Interstate 95 near Brunswick, Ga., but accidentally crashed head-on into another vehicle. Seconds later, Denton was then fatally hit by another motorist as he ran across the highway to escape the crash scene.

WAYNOVISION

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The colossus PornHub.com, in its annual January rundown, reported its several sites had 23 billion “visits” in 2016 (about one-fourth from females), during which time its videos were viewed 91 billion times. In all, earthlings spent 4.6 billion hours watching PornHub’s inventory (that is 5.2 centuries’ time doing whatever people do when viewing porn). USA took home the gold for the most “page views” per capita, just nipping Iceland. Online visitors from the Philippines, for the third straight year, remained (per capita) on the sites the longest per visit. The top search term on PornHub from U.S. computers was “step mom.” [The Daily Dot, Jan. 5, 2017]

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Applicants for passports in Switzerland are evaluated in part by neighbors of the applicant, and animal-rights campaigner Nancy Holten, 42, was rejected in January because townspeople view her as obnoxious, with, said a Swiss People’s Party spokesperson, a “big mouth.” Among Holten’s “sins” was her constant criticism of the country’s hallowed fascination with cowbells — that make, according to Holten, “hundred decibel,” “pneumatic drill”type sounds (though a hit song, “(Don’t Fear) The Reaper,” by the group Blue Oyster Cult, skillfully employed the cowbell — before it was satirized in an epic Saturday Night Live sketch starring Christopher Walken). [The Independent (London), Jan. 19, 2017]

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In January, Texas district Judge Patrick Garcia was charged with misdemeanor disorderly conduct after a dispute outside the courthouse in El Paso. An April trial date was set

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LOCAL

“THE CHRISTIAN COMMUNITY HAS NOT BEEN WELCOMING OF US AT ALL.”

BEAT

{BY ALEX GORDON}

Nature figures heavily in Wilderness Tales, the debut album from post-rock trio The Long Hunt. The songs are instrumental — there are no lyrics about wind whistling through leaves — but nature references are abundant. There’s a deer head on the cover (not a real deer, it’s papier mâché), the song titles are outdoorcentric, and the inside cover art shows the band’s instruments lying in the grass like sleepy poets.

“A lot of music is focused on the city, industry, that kind of urban thing,” says Trevor Richards, the guitarist and principal songwriter behind The Long Hunt.

“I wanted to try to bring it back to the natural atmosphere.”

That might sound like a sorta thin connection, but the Pittsburgh-based band’s style of heavy, repetitive, minimally stylized music does have an organic, animalistic vibe to it. This isn’t the music of lily pads and fawns sipping from streams. Wilderness Tales channels the punitive, indifferent randomness of floods and wildfires.

Sometimes the nature influence is a little more direct, like when Richards was camping at the Colorado National Monument in Grand Junction, Colo., last year, woke up and wrote “Valley of the Sun” in a matter of hours. (To be fair, that phrase usually refers to Phoenix, Ariz., but he felt it was a good fit nonetheless.)

It’s easily one of the album’s highlights.

The Long Hunt started nine months ago, closing out Richards’ three-year hiatus from music performance.

Previously, he’d played in the avant-garde progressive-rock band Eighth Whale, which fizzled out after a few albums in 2014. During his time away from music, Richards grew to love minimalism and repetition in music (Eighth Whale’s approach was decidedly not minimal).

Minimalism — in production, instrumentation and composition — seems to be the ruling ideology on Wilderness Tales.

The trio, which features bassist Allison Kacmar Richards (who is married to Trevor) and drummer Mark Lyons, succeeds with its sound because every minimalist instinct is balanced by jolts of grandiosity and abrupt change. The sound is unpredictable.

Think something between Sleep and Slint: unsettling, heavy and mesmerizing.

ALEXGORDON@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

Wilderness Tales is out on Feb. 17 and available at www.thelonghunt. bandcamp.com/album/wilderness-tales

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The Long Hunt {PHOTO COURTESY OF TREVOR RICHARDS}

GOING GREEN

{CP PHOTO BY SARAH WILSON}

HOLY HELL

Light in the darkness: Slaves BC

{BY IAN THOMAS}

T

HE HEAVY CHURN of Slaves BC’s new release, All Is Dust and I Am Nothing, levels everything in its vicinity.

Commonly described as blackened hardcore, the Pittsburgh outfit employs slow doom riffs, coupled with the alternately plodding and uptempo drum fills typically associated with black metal. All of this sets the stage for vocalist Josh Thieler’s punishing growl.

Released in early 2016, the bleak offering was four years in the making, assembled as the band found opportunity to write and record. Intermittently, the group released a handful of split singles and EPs on Colorado’s Veritas Vinyl record label, of which Thieler is now a co-owner. That the long-in-the-making recording is so cohesive, despite the piecemeal assemblage, is no accident. It is bound by a unifying concept: The album’s inspiration is Ecclesiastes, a book from the Old Testament.

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.15/02.22.2017

“Ecclesiastes is one of my two favorite books of the Bible. I went to school to be a youth pastor back in the day,” says Thieler, whose band will open Feb. 16 at Mr. Smalls for Zao, a metalcore band from Parkersburg, W.Va. “I kind of thought it was interesting that nobody had already

ZAO

WITH SLAVES BC, CANDIRIA, FIT FOR AN AUTOPSY 7:30 p.m. Thu., Feb. 16. Mr. Smalls, 400 Lincoln Ave., Millvale. All ages. $16.

412-821-4447 or www.mrsmalls.com

done a concept album on it, especially for the darker areas of metal, just because it lends itself so much. It’s super bleak, you know?” Though the intent of the book is subject to scholarly debate, Ecclesiastes posits questions as to the purpose, or lack

thereof, of life on Earth.

“Vanity of vanities! All things are vanity!” are the book’s opening lines.

Thieler’s read on the material seems to be one of positivity.

“Hey, enjoy what you can, because, no matter what you do, it’s all meaningless and nothing that you can do is going to change that,” he says. “So, I basically just took what I knew from the book, and I wrote the lyrics out without reading it again. I just wrote what I remembered to kind of capture the whole theme of the book over the course of the songs.”

The Bible is a consistent source of inspiration to Thieler because he writes from a Christian perspective. However, he explains that his take on Christianity is often at odds with what he considers to be mainstream Christianity.

“Pretty much everything we’ve done so far has kind of had that theme. We did a lot

of stuff with Revelations,� he says. “Or I’ve responded to different things that are going on, like some of the super-famous preachers that twist everything up and use it for their own gain.�

Formed in 2010, the band was together about 18 months before playing a show, focusing instead on ďŹ nding common musical ground. After a burst of creativity, in which they wrote about 70 songs, the group found chemistry and its crushing sound.

So, given its Biblical bent, is Slaves BC a Christian band? “We get asked that question a lot,â€? Thieler says. “If you look at our art, because I put it in the art, it’s all Biblically-based. I, myself, am a Christian, and we’re signed to a Christian record label, but the other guys in the band are not. So, basically, non-Christians think of us as a Christian band, and Christians think of us as a non-Christian band.â€? “It’s really funny,â€? he continues. “The Christian community has not been welcoming of us at all, really, but the secular community deďŹ nitely has. We’ve been playing with nihilistic, atheistic, satanic bands since the beginning.â€? Such inclusiveness speaks volumes about the tolerance and open-mindedness of the people inside the niche Slaves BC has carved out in the metal scene.

For his part, Thieler is committed to continuing his exploration of his experience of Christianity. “The thematic direction of the band is not going to change,� he says. Material for the band’s upcoming album, due out later this year, turns on those themes, as well as Thieler’s desire to make sense of political events and personal experiences.

For example, the recent death of Thieler’s grandmother has given him occasion to explore the emotions of loss and how it affects his faith. “She was one of the people who kept me in the church, and she was one of the best people that I knew ... [who] was literally praying for me every day, on her knees. Now that person is not there,� he says. “It’s just kind of exploring what changes in my life there would be when that person’s prayers go silent.�

In the book of Ecclesiastes, wisdom is sought and won through experience, but the acquisition of such wisdom may serve no greater purpose than to ďŹ nd some relief in a world that may not always make sense. That, however, does not diminish the worth of the undertaking. “Just letting it out in some way lets you just kind of put the puzzle pieces together,â€? Thieler says of his writing. “You can step back and view it ‌ because you put it out there and you see the whole picture.â€?

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COMMON GROUND

CELEBRATE THE RETURN OF THE

{BY IAN THOMAS}

STANDING OVATIONS FRIDAY, FEB. 17 AT 8:00 P.M. SATURDAY, FEB. 18 AT 8:00 P.M. SUNDAY, FEB. 19 AT 2:30 P.M. HEINZ HALL

TITLE SPONSOR

{PHOTO COURTESY OF ADAM TETZLOFF}

Sinkane’s Ahmed Gallab

Life & Livin’ It, the defiantly hopeful new record from Sinkane, arrives at a moment of national anxiety. Much like the protesters who took to the streets and airports in defense of immigrants last week, the album underscores the commonalities of the human experience, both good and bad. Ahmed Gallab, the mastermind of Sinkane, is no stranger to finding his place amid disparate elements. Born in London, he spent his early childhood in Sudan before moving to the U.S. at age 5. The resulting confluence of Gallab’s funk, pop and jazz influences soothes frayed nerves like a healing balm.

The biggest showstoppers – from 6RXWK 3DFLžF :HVW 6LGH 6WRU\ /HV 0LVUDEOHV 7KH 3KDQWRP RI WKH 2SHUD and more!

PRESENTING PARTNER

This performance is funded in part by the Kurt Weill Foundation for Music, Inc., New York, NY

Friday, Feb. Friday Feb 24 at 8:00 pp.m. m Saturday, Feb. 25 at 8:00 p.m.

Sunday, Feb. 26 at 2:30 p.m.

YOU SEEM LIKE AN OPTIMISTIC PERSON. ARE YOU EMBOLDENED IN THE FACE OF OBSTACLES? I think my optimism is so intense that it’s almost to a fault at times. I’ve never really been depressed or sad. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I grew up having a weird sense of identity and being confused about that, but coming out strong from that situation.

I also really like being the voice of positivity amongst my friends when we are in a tough situation. You can’t be a leader and not be positive.

Lahav Shani, conductor • Jon Kimura Parker, piano Ives: The Unanswered Question • Weill: Symphony No. 2 Gershwin: Rhapsody in Blue • Bernstein: Symphonic Dances from West Side Story

PERFORM S

ARE YOU OPTIMISTIC NOW? Here’s the thing: The lead-up to President Trump coming into power had a lot of negative response. The state of mind of people seemed like it was down-and-out. Then within the first week of his presidency, so many people came together collectively to respond. I think that’s a very beautiful thing, and it shows exactly where the state of the United States is. That, to me, shows just how connected and how together people are right now. If this happens in the first week, I’m really curious to see what will happen in the next four years.

SATURDAY, MARCH 4 AT 8:00 P.M. THIS SATURDAY AT AT 11:15 A.M.

PRESENTING PARTNER

The Pittsburgh Symphony is joined by a live band in a symphonic tribute. “Purple Rain,� “When Doves Cry,� “Little Red Corvette,� “Kiss� and more!

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

SINKANE with DIFFERENT PLACES IN SPACE 8 p.m. Tue., Feb. 21. Club CafĂŠ, 56 S. 12th St., South Side. $12. 412-431-4950 or www.clubcafelive.com +

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BRING YOUR GROUP AND SAVE! 412.392.4819 +

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diesel C LU B | LO U N G E

UPCOMING CONCERTS

2/ 1 6 | 8:00 P M | 18+

2/ 18 1 8 | 7:00 7 00 PM P M | AA

2/21 | 7:00 PM | AA

Jazzassassins: Mostly Other People Do the Killing

2/22 | 8:00 | 21+

MIXED BAG {BY MIKE SHANLEY} 2/23 | 8:00 PM | AA

2/24 | 8:00 P M | 21+

3/7 | 7:00 | AA

3/8 | 7:00 | AA

3/9 | 7:00 | AA

3/ 13 | 7:00 | AA

3/21| 7:00 PM | AA

3/23 | 8:00 | AA

for tickets visit LIVEATDIESEL.COM or Dave’s Music Mine (southside) 1801 e. carson st | pittsburgh |412.481.8800

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.15/02.22.2017

IN WRITING ABOUT the New York jazz group Mostly Other People Do the Killing, the word “irreverent” quickly comes to mind. Consider the band’s name, paraphrased from musical inventor Leon Theremin when talking about the work of his superiors in his native Soviet Union. Its CDs have paid homage to the artwork on classic discs by jazz legends like Art Blakey and Ornette Coleman. On these albums, the group plays originals penned by bassist Moppa Elliot, which marry freewheeling improvisation to compositions that betray a vast knowledge of jazz tradition.

The band’s Blue album tempted jazz blasphemy, since it recreated — note for note in painstaking detail — Miles Davis’ iconic Kind of Blue, an album considered one of the best in all of jazz. Pundits wondered if they were saluting the past, or thumbing their noses at it.

Elliot, who has led the band for 14 years, doesn’t mind being called irreverent. “I would embrace that word,” he says, on the phone from an airport in Texas. “But I think a lot of the time, people assumed there was a layer of irony or mockery in [the music], which there never was to us.”

While attending Oberlin College, Elliot and trumpeter Peter Evans came to place equal value on the ability to play straightahead jazz and free improvisation. “There aren’t very many people in the music world that do both of those things really, really well,” Elliot says. “That was a founding principle of the band: the idea that we should be able to play free, but then also play a genuinely convincing version of chord changes if we want to.”

The two moved to New York in the

early 2000s, where they started MOPDtK with saxophonist Jon Irabagon and drummer Kevin Shea (a former Pittsburgher, who played in the post-rock band Storm and Stress). Naming all of his compositions after small Pennsylvania towns, Elliot gives the group serious music that still manages to be playful. “There’s a very obvious element of goofiness and zaniness in there, too. I don’t want to pretend there’s not. There are often also jokes with punchlines.”

MOSTLY OTHER PEOPLE DO THE KILLING 8 p.m. Wed., Feb. 22. City of Asylum, 40 W. North St., North Side. Free.

412-435-1110

The cover of the new Loafer’s Hollow (named for the Pennsylvania borough that we now call Library) shows the seven-piece version of the band (adding bass trombone, piano and banjo), recreating a classic portrait of pianist Jelly Roll Morton and his band the Chili Peppers. The album beautifully explores 1940s swing, though the band still throws in quotes from Cannonball Adderley’s ’60s soul hit “Mercy Mercy Mercy” and — no lie — Huey Lewis’ “If This Is It.” “I’m not the kind of composer who deliberately tries to put little Easter eggs in the music,” Elliot clarifies. “It’s all stuff that, for me anyway, shows up naturally in the writing process.”

The septet version of MOPDtK is unable to tour, since various members are busy with other side projects. The lineup coming to Pittsburgh includes Elliot and Shea, along with pianist Ron Stabinsky, playing a mix of new works and trio arrangements of the new album.

I N F O@ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

CRITICS’ PICKS

— PRESENTS —

FRIDAY, MARCH 10 7:30PM

THE WHITFIELD FAMILY BAND Rotten Sound

[FUNK] + THU., FEB. 16 Do you want the funk? Well, you’re about to get that funk, when George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic roll into Stage AE tonight on the first stop of their exclusive (10 dates only) Mardi Gras Madness Tour. In the 1970s, Clinton, at the helm of bands Parliament and Funkadelic, blended soul and rock to create funky dance music with a message and a memorable stage show. So, roll up in some fresh threads and let ya chest hair show, because the P-Funk Mothership is coming in for a landing. Alona Williams 7 p.m. 400 N. Shore Drive, North Side. $29.50. 412-229-5483 or www.stagepittsburgh.com

name — it’s a mission statement. Since forming in 1993, the Finnish band has spent its time making some of the angriest, gnarliest, fastest and all-together scariest-sounding deathgrind around. On its most recent release — last year’s extra-grimy Abuse to Suffer — the sound is as dense and nasty as ever, but the members don’t forget to include some catchy-ass riffs and even some quasi-danceable grooves (if you care to find them). Experience it for yourself tonight at Diesel when Rotten Sound supports Darkest Hour and Ringworm; Rivers of Nihil, from Reading, Pa., will also appear, along with Pittsburgh’s own Greywalker. MW 6:30 p.m.

1601 E. Carson St., South Side. $18. All ages.

412-431-8800 www.dieselpgh.com 412 431 8800 or www.dieselpgh

[GARAGE ROCK] OCK C ] + THU., FEB. 16 As Justin Champlin, plin, a.k.a.

NOBUNNY, putss it in his slightly risqué, somewhat at unnerving track “Masks On,” “I just like it so much better with the masks on.”

Taking cues from m theatrical rockers like The Cramps, the NOBUNNY persona ona is a thing to behold: Champlin mplin performs wearing ng a shaggy rabbit mask and, often, not much else. Fortunately, y, the Tucsonbased multiinstrumentalist al also a so has the chops to o back up the gimmick. Fans ns of high-energy garage punk, candy-colored andy-colored power-pop and a good joke will find plenty to like. Tonight, NOBUNNY stopss by Howlers with local openers ers The Lopez, Dumplings and The Spectres.

Margaret Welsh sh 9 p.m.

4509 Liberty Ave., e., Bloomfield. $7. 412-682-0320 0 or www.howlerspittsburgh.com ttsburgh.com

[GRINDCORE] E] + SAT., FEB. 18 Rotten Sound isn’t n’t just a band

NEWS

THE MARK STRICKLAND QUARTET

[JAZZ] + WED., FEB. 22

Vocalist Gregory Porter Porte debuted in 2010 with Water, r a clever cle and soulful introduced his talent jazz record that introd took home the to the world. Porter er too Grammy for Best Best e Jazz es Ja Vocal album for 2013’s 2013’ 3 s Liquid Liqu Spirit; the imagery of liquids appears to be a common theme. One of the joys of listening to Porter liste is how he balances empowerment and e o em emp fragility; fragil the songs convey conv as much triumph trium as they do defeat. d e An def upbringing with upb George Clinton strong s o connections str {PHOTO COURTESY OF to t his h mother and WILLIAM THOREN PHOTOGRAPHY} church chu helped shape Porter into s sha one of this generation’s most gen en inspiring jazz voices. ins np You can, and should, hear it for yourself tonight t igh at the August ton to Wilson Center.

Wil Ce AW p.m.

7p .m. 980 Liberty Ave., Downtown. $55. 412-456Downtown www.trustarts.org 6666 or ww

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MUSIC

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ARTS

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EVENTS

KELLY-STRAYHORN THEATER 5941 Penn Ave. Pittsburgh, PA 15206

TICKETS AVAILABLE ONLINE AT SHOWCLIX.COM Or Call: 888.718.4253

Also Available at: DORSEY’S RECORDS - Homewood | DAVE’S MUSIC MINE - South Side For more information: www.kentearts.org Funding for this project is provided by: The Heinz Endowments, Advancing the Black Arts in Pittsburgh Fund, and The Opportunity Fund +

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TO SUBMIT A LISTING: HTTP://PGHCITYPAPER.COM/HAPPENINGS 412.316.3388 (FAX) + 412.316.3342 X165 (PHONE) {ALL LISTINGS MUST BE SUBMITTED BY 9 A.M. FRIDAY PRIOR TO PUBLICATION}

ROCK/POP THU 16 HOWLERS. Nobunny, The Lopez, Dumplings, The Spectres.

Bloomfield. 412-682-0320.

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Thieves & Lovers w/ Buffalo Rose & Ferdinand the Bull. North Side.

412-904-3335.

MR. SMALLS THEATER. ZAO w/ Candiria, Fit For An Autopsy, Slaves BC. Millvale. 412-821-4447.

STAGE AE. George Clinton & Parliament Funkadelic.

North Side. 412-229-5483.

FRI 17

LISTEN UP! You read City Paper’s music coverage every week, but why not listen to it too?

Each Wednesday, we craft a Spotify playlist with tracks from artists featured in the music section, and other artists playing around town in the coming days.

Find it on our music blog, FFW>>, at pghcitypaper.com

22

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.15/02.22.2017

BAJA BAR AND GRILL. No Bad JuJu Band. Fox Chapel.

412-963-0640.

CLUB CAFE. Kenny Zimlinghaus, 13 Saints & Long Knives. South Side.

412-431-4950.

DOUBLETREE BY HILTON HOTEL PITTSBURGH CRANBERRY. EASE. Cranberry.

724-766-6900.

JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE. Totally 80s. Warrendale.

724-799-8333.

MR. SMALLS THEATER. Gene The Werewolf, The Wooly Coats, Andre Costello and the Cool Minors, LoFi Delphi, Clinton Clegg Trio. Millvale.

412-821-4447.

NOLA ON THE SQUARE. Dan Bubien Band. Downtown.

412-471-9100.

SMILING MOOSE. Cumplete Basturds, World’s Scariest Police Chases, Gahara. South Side.

412-431-4668.

THE SHOP. Left Cross, Taphos Nomos, Mere Phantoms, Pessimist Prayer & VNFVRL. BYOB. Bloomfield. 412-951-0622.

PALACE THEATRE. Sal Valentinetti. Greensburg.

724-836-8000.

SMILING MOOSE. O’Hara, The Lone Pines, Side Ape, Luis Castillo, Flipswitch.

South Side. 412-431-4668.

SUN 19 CLUB CAFE. Meat Wave.

South Side. 412-431-4950.

THE R BAR. Billy The Kid & the Regulators. Dormont.

412-942-0882.

MON 20 CLUB CAFE. Southern Avenue.

South Side. 412-431-4950.

WED 22 DIESEL. Geoff Tate of Queensryche. South Side.

412-431-8800.

DJS THU 16 MR. SMALLS THEATER. Centrifuge Thursdays. At the

Funhouse. Millvale. 412-821-4447.

PERLE CHAMPAGNE BAR. Bobby D Bachata. Downtown.

412-471-2058.

FRI 17 ANDYS WINE BAR. DJ Malls Spins Vinyl. Downtown.

412-773-8884.

THE FLATS ON CARSON. Pete Butta. South Side.

412-586-7644.

ONE 10 LOUNGE. DJ Goodnight, DJ Rojo.

Downtown. 412-874-4582.

RIVERS CASINO. DJ NIN. North Side. 412-231-7777.

ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance.

South Side. 412-431-2825.

RUGGER’S PUB. 80s Night w/ DJ Connor. South Side.

412-381-1330.

SAT 18 BELVEDERE’S. Sean MC & Thermos. 90s night. Lawrenceville.

412-687-2555.

BRILLOBOX. Pandemic: Global Dancehall, Cumbia,

MP 3 MONDAY THE LONG HUNT

SAT 18 BAJA BAR AND GRILL. Second Shift Band. Fox Chapel.

412-963-0640.

BLACK FORGE COFFEE HOUSE. Avery, Danvers & White Thrash.

Knoxville. 412-291-8994.

BLOOMFIELD BRIDGE TAVERN. David Musick, LS Hellebore, Lunatics.

Bloomfield. 412-682-8611.

DIESEL. Darkest Hour, Ringworm, Rotten Sound, Rivers of Nihil. South Side.

412-431-8800.

DOWNEY’S HOUSE. The Hawkeyes. Robinson.

412-489-5631.

MOONDOG’S. The Shiners.

Blawnox. 412-828-2040.

Each week, we post a song from a local artist, for free online. This week, it’s moody minimalist post-rock from The Long Hunt. If you like repetitive, unsettling music (think Slint without vocals), the band’s newish track, “Valley of the Sun,” is mandatory listening. Stream or download it for free at FFW>>, the music blog at pghcitypaper.com.

HEAVY ROTATION

Saturday Afternoon Jazz Session.

North Side. 412-904-3335.

THE MONROEVILLE RACQUET CLUB. Jazz Bean Live.

Every Saturday, a different band.

Monroeville. 412-728-4155.

These are the tracks City Paper marketing design coordinator Lindsey Thompson can’t stop listening to:

PNC POPS: BROADWAY STANDING OVATIONS. Heinz Hall, Downtown. 412-392-4900.

ROCKS LANDING BAR & GRILLE. Tony Campbell & the Jazz Surgery. McKees Rocks.

412-857-5809.

“Magic Carpet Ride”

Hilltop Hoods

“Cosby Sweater”

THU 16 LINDEN GROVE. Karaoke.

Castle Shannon. 412-882-8687.

RIVERS CASINO. Jason Kendall Duo. North Side. 412-231-7777.

RIVERS CLUB. Jessica Lee & Friends. Downtown.

412-391-5227.

FRI 17 LINDEN GROVE. Artistree.

Castle Shannon. 412-882-8687.

RIVERS CASINO. Terrance Vaughn Duo. North Side. 412-231-7777.

ACOUSTIC

“The Other Side of Paradise”

THU 16

Waka Flocka Flame

“No Hands”

DOWNEY’S HOUSE. Dante Spinosi. Robinson.

412-489-5631.

HOP FARM BREWING. Eric Brockschmidt. Lawrenceville.

412-408-3248.

MJ’S STEEL CITY. The Eclectic Acoustics. Robinson.

724-227-3051.

SAT 18

FRI 17

TUE 21

CLUB CAFE. Busty & the Bass w/ Beauty Slap. South Side. 412-431-4950.

HILLMAN CENTER FOR PERFORMING ARTS. Committed.

Fox Chapel. 412-968-3040.

RIVERS CASINO. Scott & Rosanna.

Drum Bar. Tres Lads. North Side.

412-231-7777.

565 LIVE. Bubba & Tom’s Campfire Songs. Bellevue. 412-301-8168.

Bhangra, Balkan Bass. Bloomfield.

412-621-4900.

DIESEL. DJ CK. South Side.

412-431-8800.

PERLE CHAMPAGNE BAR. DJ Tenova. ladies night.

Downtown. 412-471-2058.

REMEDY. Push It! DJ Huck Finn, DJ Kelly Fasterchild. Lawrenceville.

412-781-6771.

ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance.

South Side. 412-431-2825.

TUE 21 THE GOLDMARK. Pete Butta. Reggae & dancehall.

Lawrenceville. 412-688-8820.

WED 22 THE GOLDMARK. Pete Butta & Preslav. Top Dollar Dancehall. Lawrenceville.

(4120-688-8820.

SMILING MOOSE. Rock Star Karaoke w/ T-MONEY. South Side.

412-431-4668.

SPOON. Spoon Fed. East Liberty.

412-362-6001.

HIP HOP/R&B THU 16 CATTIVO. Mykki Blanco w/ Cakes Da Killa. 21+. Lawrenceville.

412-687-2157.

BLUES FRI 17 MIKE’S NEW MOON SALOON. Jack of Diamonds. Gibsonia.

724-265-8188.

NEWS

412-322-0800 | MCGjazz.org 412-322-08

HAMBONE’S. Calliope Old Time Appalachian Jam. Lawrenceville.

412-681-4318.

SAT 18 WHEELFISH. Jimmy Adler Band w/ Dave Yoho & Don Czaplicki. Ross. 412-487-8909.

ZANDERS SPORTS BAR & NIGHT CLUB. Strange Brew.

Monroeville. 724-387-2444.

JAZZ JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Roger Humphries Jam Session.

Ballroom. North Side.

412-904-3335.

VALLOZZI’S PITTSBURGH. Eric Johnson. Downtown.

412-394-3400.

WED 22 ALLEGHENY ELKS LODGE #339.

Pittsburgh Banjo Club. Wednesdays.

North Side. 412-321-1834.

PARK HOUSE. Shelf Life String Band. North Side. 412-224-2273.

WHEELFISH. Jason Born. Ross.

412-487-8909.

REGGAE

THU 16

THU 16 CLUB CAFE. The Movement w/ Brahctopus, Stationary Pebbles.

South Side. 412-431-4950.

PIRATA. The Flow Band. Downtown.

412-323-3000.

FULL LIST E N O LwIN w.

FRI 17

w paper pghcitym .co

ANDORA RESTAURANT - FOX CHAPEL. Pianist Harry Cardillo & vocalist Charlie Sanders. Fox Chapel.

412-967-1900.

GRILLE ON SEVENTH. Tony Campbell & Howie Alexander.

Downtown. 412-391-1004.

SWEETWATER CENTER FOR THE ARTS. Etta Cox & Al Dowe.

Sewickley. 412-741-4405.

SAT 18 JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Tony Campbell

MUSIC

BUY YOUR TICKETS TODAY!

CLUB CAFE. Sinkane. South Side.

412-431-4950.

SUN 19

MOONDOG’S. Miss Freddye’s Blues Band. Blawnox.

412-828-2040.

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Lewis Nash Drums Jeremy Pelt Trumpet Renee Rosnes Piano Bill Pierce Saxophone Jay Ashby Trombone Peter Washington Bass

OTHER MUSIC

WED 22

Glass Animals

Satu Saturday, February 25 6:0 6:00 p.m. & 8:30 p.m.

PNC POPS: BROADWAY STANDING OVATIONS. Heinz Hall, Downtown. 412-392-4900.

HAMBONE’S. Ian Kane, Ronnie Weiss & Tom Boyce.

Jazz Standards, showtunes & blues. Lawrenceville.

412-681-4318.

P R E S E N T S

with sp special guest Roger Humphries

SUN 19

MON 20

J A Z Z

Lewis Nash Ensemble

SAT 18

SUN 19

Steppenwolf

M CG

SIMON THOMAS JACOBS. St. Paul Cathedral, Oakland.

412-242-2787.

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FRI 17

CAPRI PIZZA AND BAR. Bombo Claat w/ VYBZ Machine Intl Sound System. East Liberty.

412-362-1250.

WALLACE’S TAP ROOM. THE FLOW BAND w/ Finneydredlox, Joe Spliff, Deb Star, Samr Fingers, D. Lane. East Liberty. 412-655-0555.

CLASSICAL FRI 17 PNC POPS: BROADWAY STANDING OVATIONS. Heinz Hall, Downtown.

412-392-4900.

ARTS

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EVENTS

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TASTE

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PAID ADVERTORIAL SPONSORED BY

What to do Feb

IN PITTSBURGH

15 - 21

WEDNESDAY 15 Bad Bad Hats

SMILING MOOSE South Side.

412-431-4668. With special guests RUE. All ages show.

Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 7p.m.

Taj Express: The Bollywood Musical Revue BYHAM THEATER Downtown.

412-456-6666.

Tickets: trustarts.org. 7:30p.m.

THURSDAY 16

George Clinton & Parliament Funkadelic STAGE AE North Side.

All ages show.

Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 1-800-745-3000.

Doors open at 7p.m.

Mykki Blanco & Cakes Da Killa CATTIVO Lawrenceville.

412-687-2157. Over 21 show.

Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 9p.m.

412-381-1681. With special guests Mona & Little Junior.

Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 8p.m.

REX THEATER South Side.

24

Southern Avenue

FRIDAY 17 175 The Vagina Monologues

CLUB CAFE South Side.

412-431-4950. With special guest Nightgown. Over 21 show. Tickets: ticketweb.com/ opusone. 8p.m.

ACE HOTEL East Liberty.

412-361-3300.

Tickets: $10 at the door. 7p.m.

TUESDAY 21

The Book of Mormon BENEDUM CENTER Downtown. 412-456-6666.

Tickets: trustarts.org.

Through Feb. 26.

21+ Night: Love, Sex & Science CARNEGIE SCIENCE CENTER North Side. Over 21 event.

For tickets and more info visit carnegiesciencecenter.org.

6p.m.

Chief Keef

Pittsburgh Bleed Black and Gold Tattoo Expo 2017 STATION SQUARE SHERATON Station Square. For more info visit pittsburghtattooexpo. com. Through Feb. 19.

SATURDAY 18 Tribal Seeds

July Talk

MONDAY 20

TRIBAL SEEDS REX THEATER FEB 18

REX THEATER South Side.

412-381-4681. With special

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.15/02.22.2017

guests Raging Fyah & Nattali Rize. All ages show. Tickets: greyareaprod.com. 7:30p.m.

Sound Series: Hypercube ANY WARHOL MUSEUM North Side. For tickets and more info visit warhol.org.

8p.m.

Phoenix Rising BYHAM THEATER Downtown.

412-456-6666.

Tickets: trustarts.org. 8p.m.

SUNDAY 19 Pretty Things Peepshow

REX THEATER South Side.

412-381-4681. Over 21 show.

Tickets: greyareaprod.com.

8p.m.

The Stranger: A Tribute to Billy Joel HARD ROCK CAFE Station Square. Over 21 show.

Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 8p.m.

STAGE AE North Side.

All ages show.

Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 1-800-745-3000.

Doors open at 7p.m.

CRUISR SMILING MOOSE South Side.

412-431-4668. With special guests Spirit Animal & Milly.

All ages show.

Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 7p.m.

[BOOKS]

FIGHTING WORDS

“I SAID, ‘OK, THIS IS THE BASIS FOR A SONG.’”

The author of nine books of poetry, autobiography and criticism, Maggie Nelson defies easy categorization. But across her works, explorations of beauty and pain, eroticism, nuance and poeticism are a given. “I have keenness to the rhythm and sound of language,” she says by phone from her home in California.

“I don’t allow prose or critical writing as an excuse for unlovely language.”

Nelson’s multifarious influences and stylistic elasticity are seen in Bluets, a 2009 memoir that grounds reflections about loneliness, loss and beauty in her love for the color blue. Dream-like and nonlinear, Bluets narrates a jilted love and engages with discourses about blue by other thinkers and writers. Goethe associates the color with a fraught life period; William Gass contrasts blue’s idealized beauty with the human body’s imperfections.

With characteristic frankness and lyricism, Nelson discards Gass’ romanticized ideal.

“This is puritanism,” she writes. “I have no interest in offering you an airbrushed cunt.

I am interested in having three orifices full of thick, veiny cock in the most unforgiving of poses and light.”

Nelson’s critical works emphasize the individual experience in connecting with art. In The Art of Cruelty, critiquing representations of violence in art, Nelson offers a complex, even paradoxical take on whether violent art makes us more violent, rebuffing idealizations of violence while celebrating their provocations.

Interviewed, she takes a similarly nuanced view toward a New Yorker essay about Prince’s “Darling Nikki.” The song was recorded when Nelson was 10, and its masturbation references incited Tipper Gore’s campaign to censor sexual lyrics.

Nelson says that she rejects “deem[ing] all sexual content with one brush”; she adds, “My sister and I were learning to masturbate … on the cover was a woman who knew enough to self-pleasure. Some get empowerment from what others find degrading.”

Nelson also writes about topics related to queerness and feminism. She expresses optimism that “the long-term arc of history bends to justice,” but realism about the fragility of civil-rights progress. Her outlook on gender politics under a Trump presidency is double-edged. “You can’t let certain genies out of the bottle and get them back in without brute repression,” she says.

She adds, “The vision for sexual freedom is care for all members of society — bigger civil-rights issues that are not minoritizing.”

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

MAGGIE NELSON 8:30 p.m. Thu., Feb. 23. Pittsburgh Contemporary Writers Series. Frick Fine Arts Auditorium, 650 Schenley Drive, Oakland. Free. pghwriterseries.wordpress.com NEWS

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Author Maggie Nelson {PHOTO COURTESY OF HARRY DODGE}

{BY SHALIN MODY}

{CP PHOTO BY RENEE ROSENSTEEL}

Taylor Raven, left, and Brian Vu portray “Hannah,” the transgender heroine of As One.

[OPERA]

ONE ON ONE {BY BILL O’DRISCOLL}

OMPOSER Laura Kaminsky recalls a

one character: the fictional Hannah, embodied by two singers as “Hannah before” and “Hannah after.” Both are on stage for most of the show, singing mostly solo but sometimes in harmony. The story follows Hannah, born male, from her adolescence into a young adulthood in which she has transitioned to female, and recounts her struggle to come to terms not only with an unaccepting society but also with herself.

C

newspaper article she read about a New Jersey man who was transitioning to female — and who faced losing his marriage unless marriage equality was legalized in that state. “Oh my god, this is the stuff of an opera!” Kaminsky told her own wife. Kaminsky was drawn to the question of what makes us who we are, and what a person might gain and lose in seeking that identity.

Eventually, and with help from a transgender filmmaker and a renowned librettist, Kaminsky created that opera, though in greatly altered form. As One, which premiered in 2014, debuts here in a new Pittsburgh Opera production, with four performances Feb. 18-26.

Far from the multi-character work Kaminsky first envisioned, As One is a spare if witty and richly woven piece with just

AS ONE Feb. 18-26. Pittsburgh Opera headquarters, 2425 Liberty Ave., Strip District. $45-50.

412-456-6666 or www.pittsburghopera.org

The one-act opera, driven by Kaminksy’s forceful score played live by a string quartet, runs 75 minutes. Hannah-before is sung by baritone Brian Vu, and Hannah-

after by mezzo-soprano Taylor Raven; both are Pittsburgh Opera resident artists.

Raven previously sang her role last fall, at Seattle Opera — one of nine productions of As One since its world premiere at the Brooklyn Academy of Music. That’s a remarkable track record for a new American opera. As One has been praised as “inspiring and groundbreaking, innovative yet relatable” (Seattle Weekly), and as “a thoughtful and substantial piece as well as that rarest of operatic commodities — a story that lends itself to dramatization in music” (Washington Post).

The New York-based Kaminsky’s orchestral works and string quartets have been performed worldwide. When As One was still a concept, she saw Prodigal Sons, an acclaimed 2009 film by Kimberly Reed, a transwoman who documented her efforts to reconnect with her brother. (Reed CONTINUES ON PG. 26

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ONE ON ONE, CONTINUED FROM PG. 25

S CIAL

)ROORZ XV WR ƓQG RXW ZKDWōV KDSSHQLQJ @PGHCITYPAPER • FACEBOOK.COM/PITTSBURGHCITYPAPER

DR ISC O L L @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.15/02.22.2017

[DANCE REVIEW]

CURIOUS ENOUGH {BY STEVE SUCATO}

Hannah Carter and William Moore in PBT’s Alice in Wonderland {PHOTO COURTESY OF DUANE RIEDER}

LET S GET ’

told her story here in 2011, at a Moth Mainstage event at the New Hazlett Theater.)

Kaminsky contacted Reed and introduced her to Mark Campbell, a renowned librettist whose credits include the Pulitzerwinning opera Silent Night.

Campbell, reached by phone, says As One began to click for him after Reed told him a story about her days as an adolescent Paul McKerrow, secretly wearing a woman’s blouse while dutifully completing a paper route. “I said, ‘OK, this is the basis for a song,’” Campbell says. But while that song opens As One, this isn’t really Reed’s story. “There’s a grain of autobiographical truth at the center of each aria,” says Reed, interviewed by phone from her home in New York City. “But it quickly moves from just retelling autobiographical experiences to something more universal.”

Hannah’s early experiences include being told her handwriting is too girly; feeling she needs to be “the perfect boy” to hide her secret; and learning (through TV and library books) that there are others like her. In part two, she moves to a city, begins to transition, and survives a frightening transphobic attack. Part three finds her retreating to the Norwegian outback.

“On my self-imposed island, I connect with the universe,” Hannah-after sings. “And the universe tells me: ‘You are an idiot.’”

Campbell says Reed’s collaboration was especially helpful on matters such as what it’s like taking female hormones; that took him three or four drafts to get right, he says. (Campbell, Reed and Kaminsky enjoyed working together enough that they went on to create Some Light Emerges, an opera about a work by artist Mark Rothko that premiered last year at Houston Grand Opera.)

For the Pittsburgh Opera production, at the George R. White studio at Opera headquarters, stage director Frances Rabalais chose not to use the projected videos, created by Reed, that most other stagings have employed; Rabalais says she wants to keep the focus on the two performers in motion on Chen-Wei Liao’s simple, threelevel set. As seen in rehearsal, while one performer sings, the other acts silently, subtly commenting on the action.

Vu, in an interview, likens that effect to identical twins experiencing each other’s feelings. That sort of empathy echoes the show’s own impact. Reed cites the widespread fear of trans people. “The more the general public knows trans people, the better off we all are,” she says. “Until you feel like you really know someone, it’s really easy to dehumanize them.”

Hannah’s transition in As One, adds Kaminsky, is “a universal metaphor for us being fluid and transitional in our lives.”’

Choreographed for the English National Ballet in 1995, Derek Deane’s Alice in Wonderland might be the most elaborate ballet production ever based on Lewis Carroll’s 1865 novel. Pittsburgh Ballet Theatre’s performance this past Friday, with its 90 costumes, 18 wigs, 30 prosthetic pieces, hand-painted sets and array of vintage magic tricks and illusions, made for a grand spectacle.

Deane’s classicalballet choreography for Alice was technically impeccable and somewhat challenging; it was also at times dry and uninspired, long on flash but at times short on interest. Still, it was engaging often enough and, coupled with the visuals, Alice proved why it was box-office gold for ENT, and then for PBT when the company first performed it in 2008.

Set to a mashup of obscure Tchaikovsky compositions compiled and added to by Carl Davis, Deane’s family-friendly Alice stayed faithful to the spirit of Carroll’s very familiar tale. Amanda Cochrane was endearing as the caring but petulant Alice, who pouted, stamped her feet, and bossed around the inhabitants of Wonderland. Alice’s meatiest dancing, however, came in a dream sequence with girlhood crush the Knave of Hearts (William Moore) that was danced not by Cochrane, but rather by “Dream Alice” — Alexandra Kochis, who shined.

Alice’s adventure had many stops, including choosing which door to open among many; drinking potions to make her big and small; and interacting with the White Rabbit (Yoshiaki Nakano), the hookah-smoking caterpillar (Joseph Parr) and a cavalcade of fish, fowl and fauna. But the most interesting were her encounters with Ruslan Mukhambetkaliyev as the slinky Cheshire Cat, and with tea-party characters the March Hare (Masahiro Haneji), Mad Hatter (Cooper Verona) and a bubbly-sleepy Diana Yohe as the Dormouse.

Were it not for Julia Erickson’s deliciously wicked performance as the Queen of Hearts, the tandem of Corey Bourbonniere (Duchess) and Jessica McCann (Cook) might have stolen the show. McCann’s frenetic and animated portrayal of the crazed peppergrinder-wielding cook was outstanding.

Led by Erickson’s masterful performance, the second act, at the Queen’s court, was the Alice audiences crave — full of royal pomp and circumstance, the ballet’s finest choreography, and a zany gathering of all the characters that had the audience losing its head with delight.

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

ALICE IN WONDERLAND at PITTSBURGH BALLET THEATRE continues through Sun., Feb. 19. Benedum Center, 237 Seventh St., Downtown. $28-108. 412-456-6666 or www.pbt.org

[PLAY REVIEWS]

HAMMER TIME {BY BILL O’DRISCOLL} TO RESEARCH a legend is often to ex-

plode it. But with JH: Mechanics of a Legend, Pittsburgh’s Hiawatha Project has turned the enigmatic tall tale about a black steel-drivin’ man who “died with his hammer in his hand” into something even more resonant: a window on American history.

JH is a series of vignettes illuminating the experiences of African Americans during slavery, the Civil War and Reconstruction. The characters include not only John Henry (Monteze Freeland) and his wife, Polly Ann (Delana Flowers), but also a narrator named Lucy (Linda Haston), a rich industrialist named Engineer (Mark Staley) and a white working man named Mechanic (Tom Driscoll).

JH was written by Anya Martin (who also directed) and devised by a team including her, Freeland, Flowers and others.

Unusually, nearly all the show’s dialogue and monologues are drawn verbatim from either the “Ballad of John Henry” or texts — history books, slave narratives, newspaper articles — whose copious source material is named aloud. Much of John and Polly Ann’s dialogue is just a few lines of lyrics, repeated in different contexts. Engineer quotes heavily from an 18th-century technical manual, with properties of physics becoming harrowing metaphors for human power relationships.

John and Polly love, suffer and strive; Lucy reflects; Engineer lectures (and profits); and Mechanic labors. The sourced language gives it authority, along with the pleasure of hearing how the lines change in different mouths and contexts — how “die with my hammer in my hand,” for instance, might be a joyous song for a man finally and suddenly free to labor for his own bread.

{PHOTO COURTESY OF LOUIS STEIN}

From left: Tom Driscoll, Delana Flowers and Monteze Freeland in Hiawatha Project’s JH: Mechanics of a Legend

The singing, by Freeland, Flowers and Haston, will alternately rouse you and break your heart.

history that combines folklorically large emotions with a winnowing read on a nation’s past.

DR ISC O L L @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

JH: MECHANICS OF A LEGEND

OFF TO ILLYRIA

continues through Sat., Feb. 18.

Hiawatha Project at the August Wilson Center, 980 Liberty Ave., Downtown. $30-35.

412-456-6666 or www.hiawathaproject.org

{BY BILL O’DRISCOLL}

in perpetual mourning whom one Duke Orsino sends “Cesario” to woo for him.

But Olivia inconveniently falls for the fictional Cesario, even as Malvolio is tricked into behaving foolishly because he thinks it will win him Olivia’s hand. Also involved are Viola’s identical twin, Sebastien, whom she presumes dead, and, of course, the very band of ne’er-do-wells, led by the drunken Sir Toby Belch, who fool Malvolio as revenge for his hauteur.

It’s all wildly contrived romantic comedy with elements of farce, played at the Public on a gorgeous circa-1912 set.

The huge and capable cast of 14, clad in lovely costumes, includes Carly Street as Viola, Gretchen Egolf as Olivia, and Timothy D. Stickney as the Duke. Daniel Krell plays the hapless Sir Andrew Aguecheek.

Mitchell Jarvis stands out as Feste, one of Shakespeare’s best wise and knowing fools, who also sings three terrific songs, two vaudeville-style.

Admittedly, it’s difficult to accept the disguised Viola being mistaken for a lad, let alone for her notably taller brother. But that’s to fixate on the wrong thing. Better to appreciate the play’s rather sublime symmetries: the tricksters trapped by their own impostures, the double-binds of doubled people (i.e., twins), the antipodes of humanity represented by Toby and Malvolio. John Ahlin’s Toby is hilarious, and not very nice; Brent Harris’ Malvolio is odious, risible, pitiable and tragic.

GIVEN A PLOT premised on death and ship-

wreck, newcomers to Twelfth Night might take a few minutes to grasp that it’s a comedy. Quickly it transforms into one of Shakespeare’s more antic works, though as Pittsburgh Public Theater’s current production demonstrates, undertones of loss are never very distant.

The play’s intertwined plots in the land of Illyria revolve around Viola, a shipwrecked woman disguised as a boy named Cesario, and Malvolio, pompous manservant of Olivia. Olivia is the lady

Yet the overarching point — made on Britton Mauk’s epic set of weathered wood, suggesting slave ships and factories — is that John Henry was likely a real person: a Civil War veteran jailed on scant pretext only to work on the railroad as part of the South’s vast and brutal prison-labor network. Reconstruction was only slavery by another name: That its structure lives on today is also noted between the lines of JH, a fever dream of

TWELFTH NIGHT continues through Feb. 26. Pittsburgh Public Theater, 621 Penn Ave., Downtown. $15.75-65. 412-316-1600 or www.ppt.org

It’s all propelled by director Ted Pappas, who cleanly fills the stage with all the necessary business. As a comedy, Twelfth Night ends happily (for most characters), but a sense of melancholy at life’s happenstance lingers.

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FOR THE WEEK OF

FreeEvent

02.16-02.23.17 Full events listed online at www.pghcitypaper.com

For Black History Month, Sembène, the Pittsburgh-based Film & Art Festival, presents At the Movies With Herb Boyd.

The free, two-day screening-and-lecture series, at the Carnegie Library’s Homewood branch, starts Fri., Feb. 17, with 1981’s Death of a Prophet, and continues Feb. 18 with 2016’s The Birth of a Nation. Prophet, directed by Woodie King Jr., blends documentary footage and dramatizations to depict the final 24 hours of Malcolm X, played in the film by Morgan Freeman.

Nation, directed by and starring Nate Parker, depicts Nat Turner’s 1831 rebellion against enslavement in the antebellum South. Both events include a post-screening discussion led by journalist, author, educator and activist Boyd.

{PHOTO BY DUANE MICHALS}

^ Sat., Feb. 18: Duane Michals

friday 02.17 Herb Boyd

“It’ll be a summary to pick up on some of the points being made in each of the films, trying to place them both in a historical and political context. …

I’ll summarize some of the high points and point out some of the concerns that I have,” says Boyd by phone. “With Death of a Prophet, King deliberately scrambled the scenario, so there’s not a linear progression. It’ll appear that it’s anachronistic, historically out of sequence.”

Despite that technique, Boyd says, viewers shouldn’t be dissuaded. “[King] has to do that because he’s trying to contextualize the period,” says Boyd, who teaches African-American history at the City College of New York. “There was a need to fill in the whole historical tableau at that time. [King] does a good job of framing it in terms of the political and philosophical issues and ideological concerns that Malcolm had at that time.”

Boyd hopes young people will come out to both screenings and learn more about the eras each film is set in. “You’re talking about very significant phases of AfricanAmerican history, or American history for that matter.”

BY AMANI NEWTON

DEATH OF A PROPHET: 6 p.m. Fri., Feb. 17. BIRTH OF A NATION: 1:30 p.m.

Sat., Feb. 18. 7101 Hamilton Ave., Homewood. Free. 412-731-3080 or www.sembenefilmfestival.org

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ART The Andy Warhol Museum welcomes Firelei Báez, the Dominican-American artist making a name with her first solo show, Bloodlines. Báez, raised in New York, creates large-scale paintings, sculptures and drawings exploring how colonialism affects race and gender, and examining the way emigrating can complicate or simplify racial identity.

The exhibition was organized by the Pérez Art Museum Miami; i; The Miami New Timess called the show “stunning” nning” and “rich and challenging.”

The Warhol version, rsion, which opens today, includes four new works. s. Amani Newton 10 a.m.-10 p.m.

Exhibit continues ues through May 21. 117 Sandusky St., North Side. $10-20 (half-price 5-10 p.m.).

412-237-8300 or www.warhol.org rg

EXPO Sarah Miller, of Brookline’s own Wyld Chyld Tattoo, has parlayed her success on SPIKE Television’s reality show Ink Master into global obal cult celebrity. This weekend, she broadens her er reach with the first annual Bleed Black and d Gold Tattoo Expo. The three-day event at the Sheraton heraton Hotel Pittsburgh at Station Square — co-presented resented by Miller and Greg Piper of Manassas, Va.’s Exposed Tattoo — will have several dozen tattoo and nd piercing artists on hand to mark you up. Tonight’s t’s the Live Tattoo Off (which of course

involves putting tattoos on). Saturday brings the Miss Pittsburgh Pin-Up Contest, and Sunday features a tattoo contest. Bill O’Driscoll 1-11 p.m. Also noon-11 p.m. Sat., Feb. 18, and noon-6 p.m. Sun., Feb. 19. South Side. $25 per day (expo pass: $55); children under 12 free with paying adult. www.pittsburghtattooexpo.com p g p

COMEDY Several years ago, when a politician in A Arizona compared homosexuality to cannibalism cannibalism, human sacrifice and bestiality, Suzanne We Westenhoefer was offended. “I’ll give her cannibalism,” said ca the comedian. “That other oth stuff is just mean.”

Westenhoefer, a Lancaster Lancast County native, was among the first out lesbian comics, and the t first with an HBO special. More than a quartercentury later, she’s still sti touring, and tonight stops at Cattivo. ton BO 8 p.m. 14 44th St., Lawrenceville.

Law $22.50-35. www. $22 suzannew.com/events suzann

OPERA Undercroft Opera opens its 2017 season with Eugene Onegin, Tchaikovsky’s late Romantic opera based on the classic verse novel by Aleksandr Pushkin, about a bored dandy in Imperial Russia ruled by social convent conventions. Led by Daniel < Sat., Feb. 18: Phoenix Rising

In Oakland NOW OPEN!

blogh.pghcitypaper.com

Clicking “reload” makes the workday go faster

^ Fri., Feb. 17: Sarah Miller at Bleed Black and Gold Tattoo Expo

10% OFF FOOD ITEMS (Excludes specials)

HAPPY HOUR DAILY SPECIALS

$ Well Drinks $2 $1 Domestic Bottles $3 Fireball Shots All day everyday $6 Pitchers (select)

KARAOKE Tuesdays • 9pm-12am

Nesta Curtis, music director of Carnegie Mellon University’s New Music Ensemble, Undercroft’s professionally trained, locally based performers will undertake the work in the original Russian with projected English surtitles, accompanied by a full orchestra and chorus. The lone performance is tonight. AN 8 p.m. Bellefield Hall, 315 S. Bellefield Ave., Oakland. $20-25.

412-422-7919 or undercroftopera.org

$1 Tacos / $2 tequila shots / $4 Margaritas —Also AvailabLe—

HOCK EY SPECI A LS

328 Atwood wood ood od Street Strr t • OOak Oakland

saturday 02.18 SCREEN One of the most important visual artists ever to come out of Pittsburgh, Duane Michals, returns to show off some new work. The pioneering photographer visits Point Park University’s GRW Theater with Talking Pictures, a program of a dozen short films that draw on influences ranging from Charlie Chaplin and Georges Méliès to experimental bellwethers like Kenneth Anger. Michals, 84, openly addresses homosexuality in his work, and continues to explore identity, love and loss. The evening comes courtesy of Point Park and Silver Eye Center for Photography. BO 7 p.m.

414 Wood St., Downtown. $15. Online registration required at www.silvereye.org.

DANCE

Now playing on the BIGGEST screen in Pittsburgh!

{ART BY FIRELEI BÁEZ. COLLECTION OF While Maria Caruso is best known as JOHN P. MORRISSEY. IMAGE COURTESY the artistic director of Bodiography OF PEREZ ART MUSEUM MIAMI} Contemporary Ballet, she’s also branched ^ Fri., Feb. 17: Bloodlines out into solo work. Phoenix Rising, which Caruso calls her biggest creative project ever, includes: a ballet pas de deux with long-time dance partner Joshua Sweeny; new solo pieces choreographed by Anjali Austin and James Martin; a restaging of Martha Graham’s famous “Lamentation”; a Lindy Hop duet; and a new hip-hop work created with Gabriel Ash. The evening concludes with Caruso’s “Hallelujah,” accompanied live by Pittsburgh favorite Bill Deasy. The show’s tonight at the Byham Theater. BO 8 p.m. 101 Sixth St., Downtown. $35.75-125.75. 412-456-6666 or www.trustarts.org

Enjoy a FREE small popcorn during opening weekend (Feb. 17 – 20) courtesy of Agora Cyber Charter School

CARNEGIE SCIENCE CENTER

CONTINUES ON PG. 30

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SHORT LIST, CONTINUED FROM PG. 29

^ Thu., Feb. 23: Cabinet for the Anthropocene: Mark Dion Unclassified

FASHION The Chinese New Year might have come and gone, but you can still celebrate it at Carnegie Mellon University’s Lunar Gala. Each year, this fashion show’s theme is centered on the zodiac animal of the lunar calendar year. The studentrun show for the Year of the Rooster will feature 150 looks from 17 design teams that incorporate materials like zip ties, sheet metal and mood-sensing Intel chips.

It will also showcase a line by New York-based streetwear brand Ronin Division.

For the first time, the show will also include designs from CMU alumni.

Rebecca Addison 8-10:30 p.m. Weigand Gym, CMU campus, Oakland. $20-30. www.lunargala.org

What have you always wanted to know about Pittsburgh?

“WHY DOES PITTSBURGH HAVE AN H IN IT?” “IS A PARKING-SPOT CHAIR LEGALLY BINDING?” “WHAT IS SLIPPY?” Mike Wysocki has the answers. (well...sorta)

SUBMIT YOUR PITTSBURGH QUESTIONS AT PGHCITYPAPER.COM

monday 02.20 TALK Lauren Groff’s latest novel, Fates & Furies, was named one of the year’s best books

by The Washington Post, NPR, Time, Slate and more. Described by The New York Times Sunday Book Review as “linguistically pyrotechnic,” it earned Groff a place on 2015 National Book Awards shortlist. Her two p previous novels,, Arcadia and The Monsters of Templeton, mpleton, were Times bestsellers. Groff’s reputation eputation is built on her fragmented, rule-breaking sentences. This should ld make for a fine talk, especially cially to any aspiring writers ers in tonight’s crowd att Pittsburgh Arts & Lectures’ ectures’ Ten Evenings series.

AN 7:30 p.m. Carnegie gie Music Hall, 4400 Forbes bes Ave., Oakland. $15-35.

35.

412-622-8866 or www. ww. pittsburghlectures.org rg

tuesday 02.21 STAGE

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Hello! The Book of Mormon returns to Pittsburgh on its national tour for eight performances this week, part of the PNC Broadway Series, presented by the Pittsburgh Cultural ural Trust. The 2011 musical ical premiered on Broadway way and proceeded to win all > Fri., Feb. 17: Suzanne Westenhoefer

EVERYONE IS A CRITIC EVENT: The Bach Choir of Pittsburgh performs

Randall Thompson’s Requiem at First Presbyterian Church, Downtown CRITIC: Kate Sereno, “over 40,” a business analyst and opera singer from Aspinwall WHEN: Sun.,

Feb. 12

My husband was one of the soloists, so that’s what brought me out. He’s also a singer, and had met maestro [Thomas W.] Douglas previously and sang for him. I’ve heard about the Bach choir, but I hadn’t gotten to see anything yet. It was breathtaking. In the first half, there were two sides of the chorus on either side, flanking the audience. The soloists were kind of behind us, and then they filtered into the crowd of the chorus. And then in the second half, everyone came down to the front, and the entire two sides meshed together. It was a beautiful piece, one that I’ve never heard, rich with texture and well performed and well conducted. I thought it was lovely. [My daughter, Evangeline] enjoyed it a lot; she was trying to sing along as well. She likes to match pitch, and there were a lot of interesting tonal bits that appealed to her, so she was able to kind of get it in her mind and hum along.

B Y AMANI NE WTO N

the awards; inspire some of the priciest resale tickets ever; remain sold-out for months; and turn original cast members Andrew Rannells and Josh Gad into bona-fide celebrities. See it again, or catch it for the first time — just remember, bring a thick skin in case you happen to actually be Mormon (or, probably, if you’re religious in any way). AN 7:30 p.m. Continues through Feb. 26. Benedum Center, 237 Seventh St., Downtown. $40-150. 412-456-6666 or www.trustarts.org

wednesday 02.22 WORDS Like many of us, artists and arts groups are stepping up their activism. Local literary types have organized The Bridge Series, a new monthly ’do at Brillobox combining readings with fundraising for local organizations fighting the good fight. Tonight’s guests are Pittsburgh Post-Gazette columnist and associate editor Tony Norman; Adriana Ramirez, author of forthcoming nonfiction book The Violence; and poet Jan Beatty, whose latest book is Jackknife: New and Selected Poems. Proceeds benefit Be Well! Pittsburgh, which helps consumers, providers and social-service organizations improve health care for the uninsured. BO 8 p.m. 4104 Penn Ave., Bloomfield. $5. www. facebook.com (“the bridge series”)

thursday 02.23 ART “The job of the artist,” says Mark Dion, “is to go against the grain {PHOTO COURTESY OF JOAN MARCUS} of dominant ^ Tue., Feb. 21: The Book of Mormon culture, to challenge perception and convention.” In exhibits around the world, the New York Citybased Dion has used the device of old-time cabinets of curiosity to examine how our ideologies and our public institutions influence our understanding of the world. Tonight, as part of the Carnegie Museums’ Strange Times: Earth in the Age of the Human series, Dion presents Cabinet for the Anthropocene: Mark Dion Unclassified. He’s joined at the Carnegie Museum of Art Theater by curator Eric Crosby and Carnegie Museum of Natural History researcher José Padial. BO 7 p.m.

4400 Forbes Ave., Oakland. Free. Registration required at www.cmoa.org.

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“CHEE CHEE” FRIED BRUSSELS SPROUTS WERE WONDERFUL

ITALIAN STYLE {BY AL HOFF} Ciao! An outpost of Piada, the Italianinspired fast-casual restaurant chain, opened last month in Oakland. It’s the Columbus, Ohio-based eatery’s first foray into Pennsylvania.

The set-up is familiar to diners: Order from a wall menu of basic options, and follow your meal down a counter as employees build the dish per your instruction with various add-ins and toppings. (It’s like Panera and Chipotle got married and adopted an Italian baby.)

{CP PHOTO BY AL HOFF}

Grab and go: The burrito-like piada

There are salads (with a choice of spinach, mixed greens or Romaine) and three preparations of angel-hair pasta (carbonara, pesto, diavolo). Diners are encouraged to add a protein, such as Italian sausage, calamari or a meatball, for a small upcharge. For non-meat-eaters, entrees can be spruced up with mixture of grilled zucchini and mushrooms.

Part of the menu is seasonal; the fall/ winter menu should be winding down soon, so make haste for the harvestgrains salad, made with farro, fennel and butternut squash.

Some pairings seemed more inspired

by California than Italy — can you really get an avocado-and-steak wrap on the streets of Rome? — but I applaud the appealing mix of flavors.

The unique menu item is the piada, a large tortilla-like crust. This is heated on a grill, brushed with olive oil and dusted with salt and pepper. Once it’s prepped, the chosen fillings are added — tomato sauce, cheese, vegetables, meats — and the whole thing is wrapped up in foil like a burrito. But unlike the softness of a tortilla, after the piada dough has been heated, rolled and cooled, it has a pleasing crackly crispness. The sauces make it a bit gooey on the inside, but this would still be the thing to order if you were on the move.

The entrees were fairly large, so light eaters should check the sides, which include soups, cheesy breadstick-like things made from rolled-up piadas, and a single six-ounce meatball.

AHOFF@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

{CP PHOTO BY VANESSA SONG}

Bi bim bap with wagyu beef, carrots, bean sprouts, spinach, dippy egg, Korean BBQ sauce and rice

A FINE FUSION {BY ANGELIQUE BAMBERG + JASON ROTH}

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OCIAL HOUSE 7 is the latest venture from local restaurateurs AMPD Group.

We weren’t sure what to expect: The bland, inscrutable name offered no clues as to the cuisine or the vibe aside from, well, sociability. We supposed it could be anywhere on the spectrum between AMPD’s first two dining ventures, Local and Steel Cactus, which prop up middling food with trendy themes and addresses, and Ten Penny, which is equally trendy but far more memorable — and expensive — food-wise.

Treading wonderingly on the glass panels covering the koi pond set into the vestibule floor, it was apparent that no expense was spared in dressing Social House 7 to impress. The atmosphere is vaguely Japanese, but far from simple and austere, it evoked an elaborate collage of temples, markets, sushi bars and East Asian

3600 Forbes Ave., Oakland. 412-224-2432

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.15/02.22.2017

art forms from textile printing to lacquerware. Social House 7’s own sushi bar is a massive slab of tree trunk, overhung by red paper lanterns and fat ink brushes forming a fascinating fringe over the shelves of liquor.

SOCIAL HOUSE 7 123 Seventh St., Downtown. 412-709-6808 HOURS: Lunch daily 11 a.m.-2:30 p.m.; dinner Mon.-Sat. 4-11 p.m., Sun. 4 p.m.-midnight.

PRICES: Soup, salad and appetizers $6-16; sharable plates $10-45 LIQUOR: Full bar

CP APPROVED A row of private booths has vaulted ceilings, and painted murals and custom ironwork grills evoke textile patterns, contrasting with the rough exposed brick of the old building’s bones. It could have been kitschy,

but came together instead as an inspired blend of trend, tradition and invention.

All of which raised expectations of the food quite high. The menu promised sushi, sashimi, and Japanese, Korean, and Thai plates. How far we’ve come from the fusion concepts of the late ’90s, which crudely combined Thai ingredients with French preparations, or simply threw together ingredients from disparate cuisines seemingly without much thought.

Social House 7’s approach to fusion is both expert and intentional, with the result that it can be almost impossible to tease apart the threads of influence and inspiration. Is truffled risotto, made with hondashi (the kelp broth that is the basis of miso soup) and snow peas, a Japanese-flavored Italian dish, or is it a traditional rice bowl with a texture borrowed

from the Mediterranean?

The fish variety at the sushi bar was broader than most, including sea urchin and three forms of tuna. In the rainbow roll, filled with “assorted fish,” including fluke, the flavors of cucumber and avocado were subtle enough that the slices of maki varied in taste depending on what fish predominated. In the Godzilla specialty roll, Scottish salmon and cream cheese provided the filling, while seared spicy tuna, seaweed salad, tobiko, spicy aioli and teriyaki sauce made for an elaborately flavored, and textured, topping. Innovation in sushi rolls can be a wonderful thing, but we gave the Pop Rocks roll, whose ingredients included shrimp, asparagus and crab stick, in addition to the fizzy candy, a wide berth.

Pork dumplings were a far cry from greasy takeout fare, with tender wrappers and subtly spiced, meaty pork, all infused with aromas of the star anise and ginger with which they had been steamed in a bamboo basket. And we loved that they were served with nuoc cham, an herbal, Vietnamese-style dipping sauce much lighter and brighter than soy-driven Chinese- or Japanese-style sauce.

“Chee chee” fried Brussels sprouts were also wonderful. A rich, mildly spicy chili sauce distinguished them from the ubiquitous charred Brussels sprouts; slivered almonds provide the crunch; and bonito flakes — shaved, dried fish — danced in the heat of the dish as they dissolved to add their savoriness to the buttery flavor.

We ordered a shrimp skewer from the robata grill, complete with imported Japanese charcoal, glowing at one of the counters. Somehow this intense heat resulted in exquisite, utterly juicy and firm skewered shrimp, subtly flavored with lime and cilantro. “Mongo mongo” lamb chops, two of them, were satisfying with a mild cashew barbecue sauce and practically melted Japanese eggplant.

The outstanding combination of seafood and fire repeated in the scallops atop pad Thai. They were unlike any we’ve ever had — golden brown on all sides, rather than the typical hard sear on top and bottom — while the interior remained sweet and translucent. We saw scallops in the shell by the grill; maybe that’s the secret.

The rest of the dish piled a relatively heavy, spicy-sweet sauce on pleasantly chewy rice noodles studded with whole peanuts and plump edamame: tasty, but neither very pad Thai-like nor ideally matched to the unadorned scallops on top.

Simply put, we loved Social House 7.

Between the flamboyant atmosphere, the broad, well-executed menu and superb service, AMPD has created one of the best destination restaurants in the city.

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OAXACAN CUISINE

[PERSONAL CHEF]

VEGAN CHOCOLATE PUDDING

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 17

{BY JEANETTE HARRIS, GLUTEN FREE GOAT BAKERY & CAFÉ}

LIVE MUSIC LATIN GUITAR

Almost 10 years ago, I found out that I had celiac disease. At the time, there were almost no easy dining options out there. Luckily, I love to cook and bake, so I started to perfect my own recipes. I avoid dairy, eggs, and soy for health reasons (oh, the joy of autoimmune disease!), so most of my recipes are also vegan.

I know what you are thinking: “What does she eat?!” It’s a misconception that limited diets are devoid of flavor or variety. If you’re forced into one, you realize it isn’t as limited as you thought, if you change your habits.

It just takes time to adjust to your list of go-to meals and ingredients.

Now I look for recipes with very few ingredients. Firstly, because I have very little free time as I prepare my bakery/ café to open (in the next month or so).

Secondly, a recipe with few ingredients tends to have a crisp and clean flavor profile since there aren’t fillers to distract from the core idea. Finally, I like to share recipes with others, and I never want to intimidate someone who may not have much experience in the kitchen.

The avocados in this recipe create a perfect creamy texture without overpowering the chocolatey goodness.

Even if you don’t love avocados as much as I do, you will still thoroughly enjoy this treat. I suffered through a lot of terrible gluten-free/vegan recipes, and I want to save others from thatt fate.

Korean BBQ Buffet FRIDAYS-SUNDAY 4-9PM • CHICKEN/ BEEF BULGOGI • • PORK, BEEF SHORT RIB • • SCALLOPS, SHRIMP •

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INGREDIENTS • 2 avocados, fully ripened • 4 tbsp. cocoa powder, sifted • 4 tbsp. maple syrup up • ¾ cup vanilla almond milk

FOR EVERY $25 PURCHASE

INSTRUCTIONS Cut open the avocado, remove the pit (an easy way to do this is to tap the knife blade into the avocado and twist), and spoon avocado flesh into a blender. Add the cocoa, maple syrup and almond milk.

Blend starting on low, then moving to high speed until ingredients are smooth. Add more milk or cocoa as needed (per your personal taste). Refrigerate the pudding for at least 1 hour and serve cold. Top with toasted almonds and whipped coconut milk, if you have it. Serves four.

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{CP PHOTO BY JOHN COLOMBO}

Owner Brian Keyser in Casellula’s dining room

[ON THE ROCKS]

A LITTLE WINE WITH YOUR CHEESE New York’s Casellula comes to Pittsburgh {BY CELINE ROBERTS} UNLESS YOU’RE lactose-intolerant, it’s hard

to disagree with Casellula’s motto: “We like cheese. A lot.”

The new restaurant, nestled on the north side of Allegheny Commons, is the second Casellula to open its doors. In 2007, owner Brian Keyser opened the first, in New York City’s Hell’s Kitchen. A San Diego native by way of Los Angeles, Keyser had come to New York City for a new beginning and waited tables while planning his next step. At Chanterelle and The Modern, he fell in love with cheese after the chef brought in samples for staff training. “I told the chef that I’d like to work with whoever was running the cheese program, and he said, ‘You are running it. I never want to hear about it again,’” says Keyser, laughing.

After some furious reading and tasting, he was serving cheese plates to New York’s elite. Fifteen years later, with his flagship location still bustling, the Pittsburgh spot is just getting started.

When Keyser set out to bring Casellula to a new city, he had three requirements: It had be a nice place to live, with a growing population of creative professionals and a healthy food scene. While still scouting, he got a cold call from a friend of a friend, Ralph Henry Reese, the co-founder of City of Asylum. Reese asked if Keyser would like to work with City of Asylum’s new Alphabet City project, which would serve as a bookstore, restaurant and performance space.

Keyser got on board. The space is lovely and open, with a horseshoe bar and lots of windows. From the dining room, you can

glance longingly at the bookshelves and wonder what to add to your reading list.

While Casellula has a fleshed-out menu, the focus is on the array of cheeses, from fresh chevre from local cheesemakers Goat Rodeo to raw sheep’s-milk blue cheese from France. And what is cheese without a similarly diverse wine menu? While Keyser isn’t a certified sommelier, the wine list is growing and offers selections by the glass and the bottle. “I get really excited when I find a wine that’s hitting above its weight, pricewise. I like quirky stuff,” he says. Expect wines from unusual regions, or varietals.

CASELLULA 40 W. North Ave., North Side.

412-226-9740 or www.casellulapgh.com

Also tempting is the short-but-sweet cocktail menu from Pittsburgh cocktail consultant Spencer Warren. Beers from Western Pennsylvania also make attractive choices. Four taps are in the works, while bottle and can selections are available to cover most stylistic bases.

Above all, Keyser wants Casellula to be a welcoming place for diners. “It has to be OK to say, ‘I don’t really know anything about cheese or wine.” says Keyser, “With our food and our wine and our beverages, some of it is unfamiliar. It’s really important to me that we be a place where people can come and not be intimidated and learn new things while relaxing and enjoying a fun night out.”

C E L I N E @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.15/02.22.2017

BOOZE BATTLES {BY CELINE ROBERTS}

Each week, we order the same cocktail at two different bars for a friendly head-to-head battle.

Go to the bars, taste both drinks and tell us what you like about each by tagging @pghcitypaper on Twitter or Instagram and use #CPBoozeBattles. If you want to be a part of Booze Battles, send an email to food-and-beverage writer Celine Roberts, at celine@pghcitypaper.com.

[DAILY RUNDOWN]

THE DRINK: THE COSMOPOLITAN

VS.

Girasole Gi l

Bites & Brews

733 Walnut St., Shadyside

5750 Ellsworth Ave., Shadyside

DRINK: Girasole Cosmopolitan INGREDIENTS: Vodka, triple sec, lime, Aperol, lemon twist OUR TAKE: The Aperol gave this vodkabased classic a bitter kick and pleasant rosy hue. The lemon twist brought a slightly sour, citrus note that played nicely with the Aperol, leaving the sweet first sip with a bitter finish.

DRINK: Pomegranate Cosmo INGREDIENTS: Pomegranate vodka, triple sec, sours, cranberry juice, lime wedge OUR TAKE: This cocktail has a lovely tart lift throughout, starting with the pomegranate vodka and ending with lime notes. Smooth, palatable and without heat, this is the way a vodka cocktail should be. Squeeze the lime in — you won’t regret it.

A newsletter you’ll actually want to read.

This week on Sound Bite: In celebration of Black History Month, Olafemi Mandley and Jackie Page-Heidelberg cook up some community around African foods. www.pghcitypaper.com

One Bordeaux, One Scotch, One Beer SeaQuench Ale $35.99/case

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“Do “Dogfish Head Brewery’s creative spirit shines in its SeaQuench Ale. The beer offers a [tasting] sequence of three German-beer styles [highlighting] bee light malt and hops blended with sour flavors. Green- and black-lime juices and a touch of sea salt create a thirst-‘quenching’ finish. With only 4.9 percent ABV, it’s a perfect partner for seafood of all stripes.” perc — RECOMMENDED BY DAVE DESIMONE, WINE, FOOD AND TRAVEL WRITER

SeaQuench Ale is available at Save Mor Beer & Pop and Duffy’s Pop & Beer Warehouse.

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THE PICTURE OF HEALTH

“WE CARRY OUR HISTORY WITH US. WE ARE OUR HISTORY.”

{BY AL HOFF} Gore Verbinski’s gothic thriller A Cure for Wellness could carry any number of trigger warnings — for geriatric nudity, sexual assault, medical gore, violence … and eels.

This film might have supplanted The Tin Drum for Most Disturbing Scene With Eels.

Actually, scenes. Eels really are the sine non qua of this film.

Lockhart (Dane DeHaan) is spooked.

The basic plot is familiar: A New York investment banker named Lockhart (Dane DeHaan) travels to a remote sanitarium in Switzerland to retrieve a colleague.

The castle-like facility is both alluring and creepy. He tries to leave but can’t. Things get creepier. People drink a lot of water.

He meets an alluring and creepy girl (Mia Goth). He does some exploring in the basement. Things get still creepier.

More weird stuff with glasses of water, steam rooms and the toilets. And why does the facility’s main gate feature intertwined eels?

The first half of the film sets up some nice intrigue at a pleasantly languid pace, but then the experience grows frustrating.

The plot has more twists and turns than … yes, an eel! And the more the story zigs and zags, the less sense it makes. It also never seems to end, offering several scenes that seem like definitive wrap-ups, but then — another swish, another scene!

On the positive side, this film is gorgeous to look at. The production design is top-notch, and I loved every square inch of the retro-ish tiled sanitarium, with its fresh cut flowers, enameled beds and attendants in crisp white smocks. The alpine location is divine (shot in Germany).

And the cinematography, which favors super close-ups, reflective surfaces and lots of eyeballs, is effective for mood-setting, despite being clichéd. If only this film were 30 minutes shorter, and had a more coherent plot. Also, fewer eels. Starts Fri., Feb. 24.

AHOFF@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

Netflix is currently streaming

Pioneers of AfricanAmerican Cinema, featuring 20 films (filed as episodes) from 1915-1946, made with black casts and crews. Some are genre films, such as Westerns or musicals, but others, like Veiled Aristocrats and The Symbol of the Unconquered, are melodramas that deal explicitly with race issues.

Alone in a crowd: James Baldwin (center)

PAST AND PRESENT {BY AL HOFF}

“T

HE STORY OF the Negro in

America is the story of America.

It is not a pretty story.”

These words from James Baldwin (1924-1987) are an effective summary of Raoul Peck’s new documentary essay about Baldwin, I Am Not Your Negro. The Oscarnominated film is not a bio-pic of Baldwin, author of plays, novels, poems and essays, as well as a public intellectual and a civilrights activist. The film focuses on Baldwin in the 1960s, and specifically, what he had to say.

As a loose framing device, Peck taps the unfinished work Remember This House, in which Baldwin planned to write about his relationships with Medgar Evers, Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X. There are no outside voices in the film, only Baldwin’s words. Peck uses archival footage of Baldwin speaking during lectures and television appearances; in other places, Baldwin’s written works are read by Samuel L. Jackson.

What transpires is a still-searing indictment of the systemic racism that underpins

our civic, moral and cultural institutions.

Baldwin’s reflections and admonishments ring as true today as they did 50 years ago. He calls out whites for their casual blindness to how their privilege came to be, and how it continues — from the wealth created by slave labor to the primacy of the white experience that casts black lives as other. He dismisses suggestions to “move on.” “History is not the past, it is the present,” he says. “We carry our history with us. We are our history.”

I AM NOT YOUR NEGRO DIRECTED BY: Raoul Peck Starts Fri., Feb. 17. Harris

CP APPROVED Baldwin explores the troubled relationship between whites and blacks, and not just the surface tensions. “You cannot lynch me and keep me in ghettos without becoming something monstrous yourselves,” he says. “You give me a terrifying advantage. You have never had to look at

me. I had to look at you. I know more about you than you know about me.”

Often behind Baldwin’s words, Peck inserts clips from old films. Baldwin, who cites a childhood spent at the movies, frequently reached for film to underscore his theories about white privilege, the disconnect between promise and reality, and the powerful role popular film plays in cementing preferred myths. He speaks of his disillusion upon realizing, while rooting for Gary Cooper to kill the Indians, that he is the Indian and not the cowboy.

Peck also pairs footage of street protests from the 1960s with those in Ferguson, Mo., three years ago, and the most notable difference between the two eras is hardly a positive one — cops now are heavily militarized. And lest we think, “But … Obama,” Baldwin’s thoughts about the success of a future black president are remarkably prescient. What matters, he epxlains, is not whether an American president is black, but what the country he is president of is like. No doubt, America remains a work in progress.

A H OF F @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.15/02.22.2017

Hogwarts School. Chris Columbus’ 2001 film is the start of an epic magical journey. Feb. 17, Feb. 19, Feb. 20-22 and Feb. 24-25. Row House Cinema

FILM CAPSULES CP

= CITY PAPER APPROVED HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS. It’s back to Hogwarts for Harry and his magical compatriots, despite a warning that terrible things are going to happen. Chris Columbus directs this 2002 film, starring Daniel Radcliffe. Feb. 17, Feb. 19-25 and Feb. 27. Row House Cinema

NEW FIFTY SHADES DARKER. People laughed.

During the movie. At the serious parts.

So there is some entertainment value in James Foley’s adaptation of E.L. James’ erotic novel, the second in her trilogy. Cannot speak for the book’s merits, but the film continues the no-yes-maybe-yes-no relationship saga between two boring, but pretty, people — naïve young thing Anastasia (Dakota Johnson) and mega-millionaire and bondage enthusiast Christian (Jamie Dornan).

Now Ana has her dream job (we know because she says so twice) working at a Seattle publishing company. In short order, she gets sexually harassed at work; reunites with Christian; has a lot of not-very-erotic sex (the term “rutting” comes to mind); refuses to get her hair done by some mystery woman (Kim Basinger) from Christian’s past; learns to sail a boat; kicks her boss in the nuts (prompting Christian to buy the publishing house); attends a masquerade ball; gets a stalker; has a series of not-very-compelling arguments with Christian about agency; gets shot at; gets promoted at work, which is now owned by her controlling boyfriend; ponders a marriage proposal; learns Christian’s secret (spoiler alert: he’s a sadist who hates his mom); is OK with Christian being a sadist; has a freak-out about a possible death; and bites her lip a lot.

There are a lot of ingredients here for a kicky, soapy romp, but it’s important to convey how dull this film is. Add to that tedium the terrible dialogue, choppy plotting and lack of chemistry between the leads, and the real sadism is demanding that 50 Shades fans to sit through this.

That said, it is bad enough to enjoy as a trainwreck. For example, I enjoyed: watching Marcia Gay Harden slap Basinger’s character, in a scene straight out of Dynasty; the aerial footage of Mount St. Helens (make volcanoes great again); and noting Dornan’s impressive core strength in an exercising-at-home scene included only to showcase … well, his impressive core. (Al Hoff) FIST FIGHT. Take it to the schoolyard! A pair of feuding teachers at a high school settle things the old-fashioned way. Charlie Day and Ice Cube star in Richie Keen’s comedy.

Starts Fri., Feb. 17 THE GREAT WALL. A chapter of history previously untold: That time European mercenaries helped the Chinese defend the Great Wall from monsters. Matt Damon stars in Yimou Zhang’s actioner. Starts Fri., Feb. 17 JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 2. If you caught the first John Wick film, you know what you’re in for with this second installment directed by Chad Stahelski and written by Derek Kolstad.

Basically, a lot of people die.

Keanu Reeves stars as the titular character, a former hitman who’s looking forward to retirement — for the second time — when an old colleague comes forward to collect a debt. Paying off that debt could mean certain death for Wick, but refusing to pay the debt would be a violation of the code of conduct subscribed to by the network of international hitmen. Such a breach of conduct would also mean death. So Wick sets off to stock up on guns, ammo, knives and a bulletproof suit.

The phrase “don’t poke the bear” was created for Wick. On the journey to his peace-

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THE FLYING ACE. Richard E. Norman’s 1926 film follows an African-American pilot who, after the world war in Europe, returns stateside to his job as a railway detective. The film features an all-black cast, including Kathryn Boyd, who plays a character based on African-American aviatrix Bessie Coleman. It will be introduced by Joseph Kennedy IV, an historian of African-American film; pianist Tom Roberts will provide live musical accompaniment. To be screened in 35 mm. 2 p.m. Sun., Feb. 19. Hollywood

Fifty Shades Darker

HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN. Harry Potter is ready to return to school with his wizard pals, but learns that the dangerous wizard Sirius Black has escaped from prison and is probably coming after him. Alfonso Cuarón directs this 2004 outing. Feb. 19, Feb. 21-23, Feb. 25 and Feb. 27-28. Row House Cinema HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE. In Mike Newell’s 2005 film, Harry and the gang compete in the Tri-Wizard Tournament, and the wizarding world expands to track events beyond Hogwarts. Feb. 19, Feb. 22-23, Feb. 25, Feb. 27-28 and March 1. Row House Cinema HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX. In David Yates’ 2007 film, Harry’s lifelong nemesis — the evil wizard Lord Voldemort — has been restored to his corporal form. It’s all hands on deck.

Feb. 20, Feb. 23, Feb. 25-26, Feb. 28 and March 1-2.

Row House Cinema

John Wick: Chapter 2

The Salesman

ful retirement, Wick takes out so many people I felt like there should’ve been a body-count ticker in the corner of the screen. Folks don’t call him the Boogeyman for nothing. Reeves as Wick isn’t much in the dialogue department, but the actor excels here with complex fight choreography that is mesmerizing to watch.

But some of the most interesting scenes come when Wick takes a break from his murder spree, and we’re given an inside look at the hitman network. In the midst of the action, Wick and many of his enemies take respite at what might as well be called the Hitman Hotel. Business, a.k.a. killing, isn’t allowed on the premises, adding some much-needed comic relief as Wick shares a drink with fellow assassins played by Common and androgynous newcomer Ruby Rose. For a bunch of cold-blooded killers, this group sure has a lot of rules. (Rebecca Addison)

… the time of your life. 7:30 p.m. Wed., Feb. 15.

AMC Loews. $5

THE SALESMAN. An Iranian couple, both of whom are actors, find their relationship strained after moving into a friend’s apartment and suffering a traumatic event. Asghar Farhadi’s film has been nominated for an Oscar for Best Foreign Film.

In Farsi, with subtitles. Starts Fri., Feb. 18. Manor

BRINGING IT HOME. As part of its monthly Environmental Film Series, Phipps Conservatory screens Linda Booker and Blaire Johnson’s 2013 documentary about America’s first house made of hemp. The plant can be used as a construction material, with added environmental benefits, but its cultivation can run afoul of drug laws because of hemp’s cousin, marijuana. The screening will be followed by a panel discussion led by Michael Kovach, who runs a chemical-free farm. 7 p.m. Fri., Feb. 17. Phipps Conservatory, Schenley Park, Oakland. Free with regular admission. phipps.conservatory.org

REPERTORY DIRTY DANCING. The much-loved 1987 romance from Emile Ardolino is back on the big screen, for one night. Swoon anew as Baby (Jennifer Grey) learns about dance, love and heartbreak from local dirty-boogier Johnny Castle (Patrick Swayze) while vacationing in the Catskills. You just might have

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DREAMCATCHER. Kim Longinotto’s forthright documentary profiles Chicagoan Brenda MyersPowell, a former prostitute who now works tirelessly to convince other women to come off the streets. She also works with at-risk teenage girls, who feel they have few or no other options than to resort to prostitution. The life stories, which illuminate generational cycles of poverty, domestic violence and sexual abuse, are heartbreaking, but Myers-Powell stands unbowed, a sturdy shoulder to cry on and a mentor who says, “I’ve been there.” The film screens as part of an ongoing series of social-justice films. 6:30 p.m. Thu., Feb. 16.

Eddy Theater, Chatham campus, Shadyside. Free. www.justfilmspgh.org

HARRY POTTER AND THE SORCERER’S STONE. A young boy learns he’s a wizard and heads off to

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HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE. Harry, Hermoine and Ron strengthen the bonds of their friendship — and work to prevent real catastrophe — in David Yates’ 2009 adaptation of the penultimate book in the series. Feb. 20, Feb. 26, Feb. 28 and March 1-2. Row House Cinema THE GODFATHER, PARTS I AND II. Catch this double feature of two of the most enduring and influential American films of the late 20th century on the big screen, where Francis Ford Coppola’s multigenerational mafia family drama and perversion of the American Dream writ large belongs. Coppola continues the saga of the Correlone family in 1974’s Part II. One thread follows Michael Correlone’s (Al Pacino) rise to power after the death of his father, Vito, while another thread flashes back to trace Vito’s (Robert DeNiro) journey to America and the start of his gangster career in New York’s Little Italy.

Critics hailed Part II as a deeper film and a more insightful look at the corruption of the myths of family and the American Dream than its 1972 predecessor. 6:15 p.m. Wed., Feb. 22. AMC Loews Waterfront. $10 for double feature HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART 1. In David Yates’ broody 2010 adaptation of the seventh Potter book, Harry frets about his upcoming and inevitable one-on-one showdown with evil wizard Voldemort. Feb. 24, Feb. 26 and March 1-2. Row House Cinema HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART 2. “The boy who lived, come to die.” Fourteen years, more than 4,000 pages and nearly 20 hours of movie all boil down to this critical meeting, when Harry goes wand to wand with his sneering nemesis, Lord Voldemort, in David Yates’ 2012 film. Feb. 24, Feb. 26 and March 2. Row House Cinema

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SWEET FANTASY

“WE’VE HAD KIND OF A DOWN YEAR, SO IT WAS GREAT TO HAVE SOMETHING TO LIFT THEIR SPIRITS.”

{BY CHARLIE DEITCH} There’s a great scene in the Will Ferrell comedy Stepbrothers where Nancy (Mary Steenburgen) asks her new stepson Dale (John C. Reilly) what he’s been up too lately.

Dale: “I manage a baseball team.”

Nancy: “Little League?”

Dale: “Fantasy League.”

Now, I know that if you don’t play fantasy baseball, you’re not laughing right now. But I also know that if you do play, you’re also not laughing right now because you’re never going to read this.

You’re reading Baseball Prospectus and Ron Shandler’s 2017 Baseball Forecaster preparing for your upcoming draft(s).

You’re also not laughing because you didn’t realize it was a joke. To the serious fantasy-baseball manager, fantasy baseball isn’t like a job — it is a job. It’s a timeconsuming, part-time job that you can spend more time on than your actual job.

In fact, since I started writing these words 15 minutes ago, I have received the following emails: * “I’m debating the merits of trading Addison Russell.” * “Moore and Hill somewhat on the block, although I’m probably going to keep both. Same with Cozart.” * “I have interest in rafael, julio and gabrielle Iglesias [sic].

I belong to a 12-team, National League-only league based out of Chicago made up mostly of Cubs and Cardinals fans called the Ernie Broglio Memorial League. Broglio was a pitcher for the St. Louis Cardinals and coming off an 18-win campaign, when he was traded during the 1964 season for the speedy Lou Brock.

Long story short, Broglio sucked, Brock became a Hall of Famer, and the trade has regularly been seen as one of the worst in baseball history.

A couple of friends got me into the league in 2011, and I took over the league’s worst franchise, The Dirty Danish Dongs. I quickly changed the name to Manny’s Barbecue after Manny Sanguillen’s PNC Park sandwich joint. I have since turned the once-disgraced franchise around, making money in the past two seasons. But success hasn’t come easy. The league is stacked with guys who know the game and who spend day and night working on this stuff.

My wife hates the time I spend on the league and the amount of money I drop on draft weekend in Chicago (six weeks and counting) for beer, deep-dish pizza and Italian-beef sandwiches. After I draft my team, I even make up a crappy-looking “media guide” poster of my squad in Microsoft Paint. (You can see it online at www.pghcitypaper.com.)

While I’d love to tell you more about the league, I just got a trade offer for Starling Marte that I need to look over.

CDEITCH@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

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{PHOTO COURTESY OF CHELSEA COLLECTIVE}

Seton-LaSalle girls-basketball head coach Whitney Jones (top row, far right) with her assistant coaches and team at the Teams We Love launch event.

PITCHING IN {BY REBECCA ADDISON}

Y

OUTH SPORTS is a growing industry in the United States, valued at $9 billion annually.

And according to income-tax company TurboTax, that translates to an average cost of $671 yearly for parents across the country. But for many families, the cost of playing is too steep, forcing youth sports teams to come up with creative ways to raise funds.

From bake sales, car washes and hoagie sales to raffles and selling advertisements, the Seton-LaSalle Catholic High School girls basketball team has done it all.

“We do a lot of fundraisers,” says head coach Whitney Jones. “We make it so none of our kids have to pay to play.”

And now thanks to a new benefactor, the burden on the team will be reduced. Jones’ team was selected as the first recipient of retailer Chelsea Collective’s new Teams We Love program.

“We were honored. It was really cool,”

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.15/02.22.2017

Jones says. “We’ve had kind of a down year, so it was great for the girls to have something to lift their spirits.”

Chelsea Collective is a specialty women’s fitness-and-lifestyle boutique owned by Dick’s Sporting Goods. Teams We Love is designed to support local youth and high school teams’ fundraising efforts. The program was launched earlier this month at the local sportinggoods chain’s Ross Park store.

“WE WERE HONORED.” Jones played basketball for the University of Oklahoma and says she knows the positive impact sports can have on adolescents.

“Sports played such an important role in my childhood and continues to do so in my adult life,” Jones says. “In my role as a high school basketball coach, I see how

participation in sports helps keep our student athletes on track at school, at home and in their everyday lives. This is why I am so excited for the Teams We Love program, because I know it will bring some much-needed support and encouragement to these young women, fueling their best efforts and helping them realize their full potential.”

Every two weeks, Chelsea Collective will donate 10 percent of every purchase made with a Teams We Love coupon — available online — to its selected team. Eligible teams include school or community-affiliated teams, such as cheerleading, dance and other athletic organizations.

“I think it’s so great that Dick’s is promoting fitness,” says Jones. “I really admire what they’re doing.”

To nominate a team in the Pittsburgh area, email TeamsWeLove@Chelsea Collective.com.

RA D D I S ON @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

PIRATES PREVIEW Coming March 29

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[THE CHEAP SEATS]

REPORTING FOR DUTY {BY MIKE WYSOCKI} SPRING TRAINING is so close you can almost smell the underground performance-enhancing drugs that haven’t been deemed illegal yet.

The Cubs are world champions and Cleveland is the American League gold standard. So, yeah, there’s a weird feeling in the air as we head into the 2017 season. It’s been a boring offseason for the Pirates, except for third baseman Jung Ho Kang, who, since the start of the 2016 season, has managed more run-ins with the law (three) than sacrifice flies (two). Those three infractions are not the kind of “trip-trip-triple” you want. Kang definitely needs to start hitting more sacrifice flies and seeing the police less.

But it’s too early to assess all of the team needs. Since pitchers and catchers report this week, let’s have a look at them.

The catching duo of Francisco Cervelli and Chris Stewart begin their third straight season together; that’s backstop continuity that’s almost unheard-of for the Buccos. In 2015, the two were dynamic; in 2016, they were just there. Two

{CP PHOTO BY CHARLIE DEITCH}

Pirates catcher Francisco Cervelli has a serious chat with pitcher Jared Hughes during a spring-training game last year against Baltimore.

seasons ago, Cervelli hit almost .300 with seven home runs, while Stewart had a singles-heavy .289 average and drove in 15 runs. Last season, Cervelli’s average dropped 30 points, and he had just one home run and 10 fewer RBI. Stewart’s average dropped a whopping 75 points, and his RBI total was halved. On a “positive” note, his one home run did tie Cervelli for the team lead in home runs by a catcher. Third-stringer Elias Diaz is still

waiting for his breakthrough, but at 26 he’s not the cutest puppy in the pound anymore. Hopefully Diaz will find a loving home.

There wasn’t a major revamp of the pitching corps this off-season. The resigning of Ivan Nova was the biggest winter move the front office made. He’ll be the No. 2 starter between ace Gerrit Cole and future ace Jameson Taillon.

Ryan Voglesong left for the less-green pastures of Minnesota and became a former Pirate once again. He had some moments, but Voglesong 2.0 never really caught fire. The Jon Niese experiment (we got him in exchange for Neil Walker) failed, and Francisco Liriano was sent to Canada before the trade deadline last year.

Cole took a step back in 2016 and endured the worst season of his respectable four-year career.

He had win totals of 10, 11 and 19 in his first three seasons before notching just seven last year. With a healthy season and some arbitrationeligible years on the horizon, look for Cole to regain his dominant status in the next year. Every star has a mulligan season sometime in his career, and Cole’s really wasn’t that bad; it was mostly due to injury. Cole is still an incredible pitcher, and at some point, he’s going to command a paycheck with lots of extra commas and zeroes, so enjoy him while he’s here.

Now that the New York Yankees are becoming a Pirates farm team (instead of the other way around for once), Ivan Nova is here for three more years. Nova

won 12 games last year between the two clubs and solidifies the top half of an otherwise questionable rotation. And we finally got to see Jameson Taillon in 2016. He won five of nine decisions and baffled major-league hitters with his diagonally breaking curveball. It’s better stuff than Charlie Morton ever had.

The second overall pick in the 2010 MLB draft, Taillon comes to Bradenton to prepare for his first full season. No pressure on him to make the team, he’s clearly in the rotation. Tyler Glasnow and the pleasantly surprising Chad Kuhl are the favorites for the final two starting spots.

Steven Brault is the long-shot thirdparty candidate.

It just won’t be the same in the bullpen without Neftali Feliz and Wilfredo Boscan around anymore. Feliz had his moments and was rewarded with a contract in the baseball purgatory of Milwaukee. Nobody’s favorite closer, Tony Watson, now sits at the head table in the Pirates pen. The Mark Melancon understudy didn’t experience the success he’d had in the set-up role, but he has some pretty good arms behind him. That includes crazy-armed Felipe Rivero, who had more than 90 strikeouts in just more than 70 innings. Veterans Juan Nicosia and Antonio “Old Dirty” Bastardo return, along with Jared Hughes. Plus, big free-agent signee Daniel Hudson joins the team. Arizona was his last stop before signing with the Bucs. The liberal media paid scant attention to the deal; even more ignored was the signing of Wade LeBlanc last year.

A.J. Schugel has the inside track on the last spot in the bullpen.

So let’s forget about last year, the Pirates’ first losing season since 2012.

Let Cleveland, yes, Cleveland, be our inspiration.

That team had no more talent than this Pirates team. The Indians had 36-year-old former Pirate Rajai Davis on their roster and really only one good starting pitcher in Corey Kluber. We envy Cleveland for once; wouldn’t it be great to lose a World Series? Just to be in it? We’ve dealt with the heartbreak of big losses before. Sure, the Pirates haven’t lost a World Series since 1927, but we can handle the grief. If Cleveland can go, anybody can go. If the Cubs can win the World Series, then truly anyone can. Except maybe San Diego; it’s probably the only team to enter spring training realizing it’s already over.

LET CLEVELAND, YES, CLEVELAND, BE OUR INSPIRATION.

MIK E WYSO C K I IS A STANDU P C O ME DIAN. F O L L OW H I M ON T W I T T E R: @ I T S M I K E W YS OC K I

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.15/02.22.2017

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CLASSES

HEALTH SERVICES

ALL AREAS ROOMMATES.COM. Lonely?

Bored? Broke? Find the perfect roommate to complement your personality and lifestyle at Roommates. com! (AAN CAN)

AIRLINE CAREERS begin here – Get trained as FAA certified Aviation Technician. Financial aid for qualified students.

Job placement assistance.

Call Aviation Institute of Maintenance 800-7251563 (AAN CAN)

Struggling with DRUGS or ALCOHOL? Addicted to PILLS?

412-403-6069

The University of Pittsburgh’s Alcohol and Smoking Research Laboratory is seeking participants for a three-part research project.

NoWait, Inc. seeks Software Developer in Pittsburgh, PA, to develop our restaurant- & guest focused mobile apps. Must have master’s or foreign equiv. in Comp.

Sci., Engnrng, or dir. related field & 2 yrs of exp. in related position.

Alt. req’t: bachelor’s or foreign equiv. in Comp.

Sci., Engnrng, or dir. related field + 5 yrs of post-bacc. & prgrssvly rspnsbl exp. in related position. Must know (from any comp’d university-lvl crswrk, seminars, wrkshps, or real-world, hands-on exp.): LAMP stack technologies; PHP, Python, or Ruby; JAVA; iOS; Android; POS Sys. APIs (Aloha, Micros, & POSitouch); Agile dvlpmnt methodologies; & how to work directly w/in technical partnership to develop highly-integrated mobile/POS apps.

Apply at http://nowait. com/about/careers

FOR INFORMATION ON HOW TO PLACE A CLASSIFIEDS ADVERTISEMENT, CALL 412-316-3342 EXT. 189 HELP WANTED

Smokers Wanted

SOFTWARE DEVELOPER

877-362-2401

TALK TO SOMEONE WHO CARES. Call The Addiction Hope & Help Line for a free assessment. 800-978-6674 (AAN CAN)

To participate, you must: • Currently smoke cigarettes • Be 18-55 years old, in good health, and speak fluent English • Be willing to fill out questionnaires, and to not smoke before two sessions.

Earn up to $150 for completing this study.

For more information, call (412) 624-8975 *Our laboratory is also seeking couples, where one or both people smoke.

Weekend appointments available.

For more information, call (412) 648-2214

PARTICIPANTS WANTED for Paid Psychology Research

for a research project at Carnegie Mellon University examining physiological responses (heart rate, blood pressure) while individuals perform behavioral tasks.

To be eligible for this study, you must be: • 18-30 yrs. old • In good health • Fluent in English You will earn $25 for your participation in this 2-hour study.

For more information, call: The Behavioral Health Research Lab (412-268-3029) NOTE: Unfortunately, our lab is not wheelchair accessible.

THE BOARD OF PUBLIC EDUCATION OF THE SCHOOL DISTRICT OF PITTSBURGH

OFFICIAL ADVERTISEMENT

THE BOARD OF PUBLIC EDUCATION OF THE SCHOOL DISTRICT OF PITTSBURGH

Sealed bids will be received in the Office Of The Chief Operations Officer, Room 251, Administration Building, 341 South Bellefield Avenue until 11:00 A.M. prevailing time FEBRUARY 21, 2017 and will be opened at the same hour for the purchase of the following equipment and supplies:

Sealed proposals shall be deposited at the Administration Building, Room 251, 341 South Bellefield Avenue, Pittsburgh, Pa., 15213, on March 7, 2017, until 2:00 P.M., local prevailing time for the following:

Pittsburgh Obama 6-12 Science Labs & ADA Restroom Renovations General, Plumbing, Mechanical, Electrical and Asbestos Primes

PACKAGING MATERIALS General Information regarding bids may be obtained at the Office of the Purchasing Agent, Service Center, 1305 Muriel Street, Pittsburgh, PA 15203.

The bid documents are available on the School District’s Purchasing web site at:

Pittsburgh Obama 6-12 ADA Stage Lift General Prime

http://www.pghboe.net/pps/site/default.asp

Pittsburgh Greenfield PreK-8 Replace PA/Sound Systems / Emergency Generator Electrical Prime

Click on Bid Opportunities under Quick Links.

The Board of Public Education reserves the right to reject any

Project Manual and Drawings will be available for purchase on February 6, 2017 at Modern Reproductions (412-488-7700), 127 McKean Street, Pittsburgh, Pa., 15219 between 9:00 A.M. and 4:00 P.M. The cost of the Project Manual Documents is non-refundable. Project details and dates are described in each project manual.

and all bids, or select a single item from any bid.

LEON WEBB Purchasing Agent

We are an equal rights and opportunity school district.

Parent Hotline: 412-622-7920 www.pps.k12.pa.us NEWS

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COURT-PACKING PLAN

{BY BRENDAN EMMETT QUIGLEY / WWW.BRENDANEMMETTQUIGLEY.COM}

ACROSS 1. Red sticks, for short 4. Take as your own 9. Trump’s Secretary of Education 14. Plug’s spot 15. Never ever 16. Nitrous ___ 17. Do an incantation by yourself?

19. Condom material 20. Boss of fashion 21. Barely squeeze (by) 22. Not quite 23. Hit, biblically 25. Lose a step 26. Place where Yo-Yo Ma gets stranded?

33. “You gotta be kidding” 35. Orange drink brand 36. In the future 37. Forward thinker?

39. Grunge outfit choice 41. Go bananas 42. Stud finders 44. Flub up 46. “Objects Arranged According to the Law of Chance” sculptor 47. Pioneer Davy uses FedEx? 50. Looks over 51. Actress Davis

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.15/02.22.2017

54. Hamlin, Hamlin & ___ (law firm on “Better Call Saul”) 57. Knight’s title 60. Visibly floored 61. Tony whose #6 is retired by the Twins 62. Marsh plant that gives you political muscle?

64. Earth mover, in slang 65. Not all there 66. “Bad” cholesterol 67. “Game of Thrones” name 68. Just ducky 69. Caustic cleaner

DOWN 1. IT folks 2. Old Testament prophet 3. Willy Loman, e.g.

4. Creature that can carry at least ten times its weight 5. Scrip amount 6. “Ah, gotcha” 7. Strip club site 8. ___-hit wonder 9. Resembling Barbie 10. Textbook tools 11. Gangster Corleone 12. Byronic poems 13. Racy Snapchat pic, say 18. Marginal marking

22. His pallbearers included Will Smith and Mike Tyson 24. D&D imp 25. The Eiffel Tower has 1665 27. Sitting position?

28. Shoreline bays 29. Maze word 30. “Black Beauty” author 31. Duke’s st.

32. Wonka portrayer 33. Leatherneck’s grp.

34. Paraphernalia 38. Hail Mary target 40. “Stupid me!”

43. Buick named after a bird

45. Stack the deck 48. Fish that Japan eats more than 70% of the global catch 49. Brandy fruit 52. Far from rich 53. Befuddle 54. Altered video games, for short 55. Platelet goal 56. Cairo suburb 57. Skid about 58. Extremely small amount 59. Sign of weathering 62. Fake news perpetrator, according to Trump 63. In addition {LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS}

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FOR THE WEEK OF

Free Will Astrology

02.15-02.22

{BY ROB BREZSNY}

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Here’s your mantra for the next three weeks: “I know what I want, and I know how to glide it into my life.” Say this out loud 11 times right after you wake up each morning, and 11 more times before lunch, and 11 more times at bedtime. “I know what I want, and I know how to glide it into my life.”

Whenever you do this little chant, summon an upflow of smiling confidence — a serene certainty that no matter how long the magic might take, it will ultimately work. “I know what I want, and I know how to glide it into my life.” Don’t let any little voice in your head undermine your link to this simple truth. Lift your heart to the highest source of vitality you can imagine.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “We cannot simply sit and stare at our wounds forever,” writes Japanese novelist Haruki Murakami. “We must stand up and move on to the next action.” That’s your slightly scolding but ultimately inspirational advice, Pisces. According to my astrological analysis, you have done heroic work to identify and investigate your suffering.

You have summoned a tremendous amount of intelligence in order to understand it and further the healing. But right now it’s time to turn your focus to other matters. Like what?

How about rebirth?

ARIES (March 21-April 19): By my estimates, 72 percent of you Aries are in unusually good moods. The world seems friendlier, more cooperative. Fifty-six percent of you feel more in love with life than you have in a long time. You may even imagine that the birds and trees and stars are flirting with you. I’m also guessing that 14 percent of you are weaving in and out of being absurdly, deliriously happy,

sometimes without any apparent explanation.

As a result of your generosity of spirit, you may be the recipient of seemingly impossible rewards like free money or toasted ice cream or unconditional tenderness. And I bet that at least 10 percent of you are experiencing all of the above.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): I am launching a campaign to undo obsolete stereotypes about you Bulls. There are still backward astrologers out there who perpetrate the lie that many of you are stingy, stolid, stubborn slowpokes. As an antidote, I plan to heighten everyone’s awareness of your sensual, soulful sweetness, and your tastefully pragmatic sensitivity, and your diligent, dynamic productivity.

That should be easy in the coming weeks, since you’ll be at the height of your ability to express those superpowers. Luckily, people will also have an enhanced capacity to appreciate you for who you really are. It will be a favorable time to clarify and strengthen your reputation.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.15/02.22.2017

GEMINI (May 21-June 20):

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):

Will Giovanni surreptitiously replace Allesandra’s birth-control pills with placebos? Will Camille take a hidden crowbar to her rendezvous with the blackmailer? Will Josie steal Jose’s diary and sell it on eBay? Given the current astrological omens, you may have an unconscious attraction to soap-opera-type events like those. The glamour of melodrama is tempting you. But I’m hoping and predicting that you will express the cosmic currents in less toxic ways. Maybe you’ll hear a searing but healing confession after midnight in the pouring rain, for instance. Perhaps you’ll break an outworn taboo with ingenious grace, or forge a fertile link with a reformed rascal, or recover a lost memory in a dusty basement.

The ancient Roman rhetorician Quintilian authored a 12-volume textbook on the art of oratory. As ample as it was, it could have been longer. “Erasure is as important as writing,” he said. According to my reading of the astrological omens, that counsel should be a rewarding and even exciting theme for you in the coming weeks.

For the long-term health of your labor of love or your masterpiece, you should focus for a while on what to edit out of it. How could you improve it by making it shorter and more concise?

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):

All naturally occurring matter on earth is composed of 92 basic elements arranged in various combinations. Since some of these appear in trace amounts, they took a long time for humans to discover. In the 18th and 19th centuries, chemists were exuberant when they tracked down seven of the 92 in a single location: an underground mine on the Swedish island of Ytterby.

That small place was a mother lode. I’m predicting a metaphorically similar experience for you, Cancerian: new access to a concentrated source that will yield much illumination.

Do you know about the long-running kids’ show Sesame Street? Are you familiar with Big Bird, the talking 8-foot yellow canary who’s one of the main characters? I hope so, because your horoscope is built around them. In the Sesame Street episode called “Don’t Eat the Pictures,” Big Bird solves a riddle that frees a 4,000-yearold Egyptian prince from an ancient curse. I think this vignette can serve as a model for your own liberation. How? You can finally outwit and outmaneuver a very old problem with the help of some playful, even child-like energy. Don’t assume that you’ve got to be relentlessly serious and dour in order to shed the ancient burden.

In fact, just the opposite is true. Trust blithe and rowdy spirits.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22):

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):

The next four weeks will be an excellent time to upgrade your understanding of the important characters in your life. In fact, I suspect you will generate good fortune and meaningful synchronicities whenever you seek greater insight into anyone who affects you. Get to know people better, Leo! If there are intriguing acquaintances who pique your curiosity, find out more about them. Study the oddballs you’re allergic to with the intention to discern their hidden workings. In general, practice being objective as you improve your skill at reading human nature.

Your lessons in communication are reaching a climax. Here are five tips to help you do well on your “final exam.” 1. Focus more on listening for what you need to know rather than on expressing what you already know. 2. Keep white lies and convenient deceptions to a bare minimum.

3. Tell the truth as strong and free as you dare, but always — if possible — with shrewd kindness. 4. You are more likely to help your cause if you spread bright, shiny gossip instead of the grubby kind. 5. Experiment with being unpredictable; try to infuse your transmissions with unexpected information and turns of phrase.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):

In 1787, English captain Arthur Phillip led an eight-month naval expedition to the southeastern part of the continent now known as Australia. Upon arrival, he claimed the land for England, despite the fact that 250,000 Aboriginal people were living there, just as their ancestors had for 2,000 generations. Two hundred years later, an Aboriginal activist named Burnum Burnum planted the Aboriginal flag on the White Cliffs of Dover, claiming England for his people. I encourage you to make a comparably artful or symbolic act like Burnum’s sometime soon, Virgo — a ritual or gesture to assert your sovereignty or evoke a well-deserved reversal or express your unconquerable spirit.

The meaning of the Latin phrase crambe repetita is “cabbage reheated, twice-cooked.” I urge you to avoid partaking of such a dish in the coming weeks, both literally and figuratively. If you’re truly hungry for cooked cabbage, eat it fresh.

Likewise, if you have a ravenous appetite for stories, revelations, entertainment, and information — which I suspect you will — don’t accept the warmed-over, recycled variety. Insist on the brisk, crisp stuff that excites your curiosity and appeals to your sense of wonder.

CANCER (June 21-July 22):

Imagine you have time-traveled to one of your favorite places in the year 2020. What do you see? I’m at Truthrooster@gmail.com

GO TO REALASTROLOGY.COM TO CHECK OUT ROB BREZSNY’S EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES AND DAILY TEXT-MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. THE AUDIO HOROSCOPES ARE ALSO AVAILABLE BY PHONE AT 1-877-873-4888 OR 1-900-950-7700

LET S GET ’

Savage Love {BY DAN SAVAGE}

I’ve been reading your advice column in The Coast in Halifax for a while, and it seems that most solutions to relationship problems revolve around sex. Everyone wants it or needs it, we should fuck before dinner, or we can spice up our sex life in this certain way to be happy. What about someone who doesn’t want to have sex, ever? I’ve asked other people for advice, and the answer is usually “take one for the team,” have sex to keep them happy. Is that the only way I could find happiness in a relationship? It’s not something I want to do — but at this point, I don’t see any other options.

ALL ALONE ACE

I’m a sex-advice columnist. Consequently, AAA, people tend to write me when sex (needing it, wanting it, getting it but not the kind you want, etc.) is the problem, and sex (in some new and improved form) is often but not always the solution.

I also get and respond to questions from asexuals, and I’ve urged sexuals not to regard asexuals as defective — or, for that matter, to view committed-but-sexless relationships as defective. So long as both people in the relationship are content and happy, it’s a good and healthy and functional relationship, whether the sex is vanilla or spicy or nonexistent. Strictly companionate marriages can be good marriages.

As for “taking one for the team,” that’s not advice given only to asexuals. A vanilla guy married to a woman corrupted by Fifty Shades of Grey (it’s baaaaaack) may be advised to “take one for the team” and tie the wife up once in a while.

Dating another asexual is the other option, the obvious option, and maybe the best option for you, AAA. A quick Google search brings up several asexual dating sites: Asexualitic.com, AsexualMatch.com, Ace-Book.net, AsexualPals. com. You can also choose to identify as asexual — and search for other asexuals — on mainstream dating sites like OkCupid and Match.

I can already hear you composing your response, AAA: Asexuals are just 1 percent of the population. There are 400,000 people in Halifax, which means there are 3,999 other asexuals.

Sounds like a lot, but most will be too young, too old, or unappealing for political or personal reasons (loves Kevin O’Leary, hasn’t seen Moonlight, picks their nose with an oyster fork). And a significant chunk of that number might not be aware — yet — that they’re asexual. So realistically, AAA, your local dating pool is much smaller than 3,999.

But! Good news! There are 7.5 billion people on the planet! And 75 million of them are asexual!

I have a good friend with a unique array of kinks — a crazy, specific and rare constellation of kinks — and he cast a wide net on kink dating apps. After he met someone on the other side of the world with all the same kinks and they hit it off via Skype and the guy provided my friend with references (put my friend in touch with friends who could vouch for him), my friend flew to the other side of the world to go on a first date. Two months later, he went back, stayed for a few months, and then moved abroad to be with Mr. Kink Match On The Other Side Of The World.

Asexuality isn’t a kink, I realize, but you can and should cast a wide net, AAA, like my kinky expat friend. Don’t let geography limit you in your search. You might not be able to afford to do what my friend did — fly halfway around the

S CIAL

world for a first date — but you can get your ass to the next province over if you hit it off with an asexual in New Brunswick or Quebec. Good luck.

I’m a 22-year-old lesbian living in Utah. I’m finally going back to college this fall. I have autism (high functioning), and I couldn’t handle going to school full time while working. Thus I will be stuck living at my parents’ house, as I couldn’t afford rent and living expenses on my own. The problem is, my parents are super Republican and religious. While I live at home, I can’t date (they are against me being gay), I can’t drink, and I can’t watch movies with swears. They also force me to participate in daily scripture study, which I hate. I can’t be myself or have any fun while I live at home because I’m afraid my parents will kick me out. But I can’t afford to move out, either. I’m shy and socially nervous, so I don’t have any friends who could help me out, and I can’t see living with roommates who are strangers. I’ll be 29 by the time I graduate, and I don’t want to live like this for that long. Any advice?

My parents are set in their ways and I don’t want to hurt them.

ASEXUALS ARE JUST 1 PERCENT OF THE POPULATION.

UNDER THEIR AUTHORITARIAN HOMOPHOBIA

If they were just enforcing “their rules” about booze in their house, that would be one thing. But requiring your adult daughter not to date anyone, or not to be a lesbian at all, is just mean. (A lot of insane religious people believe homosexuality is an act, not an identity, so that someone who isn’t currently having gay or lesbian sex isn’t actually gay or lesbian. And leveraging their daughter’s autism and social isolation and economic dependence against her in order to control her? Meaner still.

You say you don’t want to hurt your parents — you’re a good daughter — but it’s clear your shitty parents don’t care if they hurt you.

Typically, my advice would be to tell your mean and shitty parents what they want to hear — to feel free to lie to them under duress — and then lean on your friends, do your own thing outside of the house, and be careful not to get caught. But that’s not an option for you.

So you’ll have to ask yourself what you value more: freedom now or getting your degree sooner rather than later. If it’s your freedom, move out, get a job, go to community college, and take your time getting that degree. If it’s getting your degree before turning 30, knuckle under, spend a lot of late nights “studying in the library,” and go to the student resource center on your campus and ask if there are any campus services/support groups for students with autism or Asperger’s syndrome. You might meet some people whom you could see yourself living with, as roommates and friends, and be able to get out of your parents’ house sooner rather than later.

P.S. You’re in Utah, UTAH. If there’s an LGBT student group on your campus, go to the meetings and share your story. You might meet a gay Mormon boy with parents like yours — shitty and mean — who could use a fake girlfriend until he graduates, and you could use a fake boyfriend until you move out of mom and dad’s.

)ROORZ XV WR ƓQG RXW ZKDWōV KDSSHQLQJ @PGHCITYPAPER Ř FACEBOOK.COM/PITTSBURGHCITYPAPER

On the Lovecast, two tricky pregnancies: savage lovecast.com.

SEND YOUR QUESTIONS TO MAIL@SAVAGELOVE.NET AND FIND THE SAVAGE LOVECAST (DAN’S WEEKLY PODCAST) AT SAVAGELOVECAST.COM

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PICTURING REGENT SQUARE City Paper teams up with Instagram collective @SteelCityGrammers for a photo essay from Regent Square View more photos by searching #SCG_CityPaper or by following @pghcitypaper and @SteelCityGrammers on Instagram

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 02.15/02.22.2017

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