May 28, 2014

WWW.PGHCITYPAPER.COM | 05.28/06.04.2014

RITES AND WRONGS: WITH MARRIAGE EQUALITY IN HAND, LGBT ACTIVISTS LOOK AHEAD 06

PILLBOX HAT

EVENTS

1961

5.30 – 7pm OUT OF THE BOX: TIME CAPSULE OPENING WITH THE WARHOL’S TIME CAPSULES CATALOGUER ERIN BYRNE, CHIEF ARCHIVIST MATT WRBICAN, ASSISTANT ARCHIVIST CINDY LISICA AND SPECIAL GUEST BENJAMIN LIU Tickets $10/$8 Members & students

6.13 – 7pm IN DISCUSSION: HALSTON AND WARHOL: SILVER AND SUEDE, WITH VINCENT FREMONT AND GERALYN HUXLEY This program is presented in connection with the exhibition, Halston and Warhol: Silver and Suede.

FREE with museum admission

6.28 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: NAT BALDWIN, WITH SPECIAL GUESTS, SLEEP EXPERIMENTS Warhol theater Tickets $15/$12 Members & students FREE parking in The Warhol lot

7.20 – 6:30pm SOUND SERIES: BAND OF HORSES, WITH SPECIAL GUESTS MIDLAKE Stage AE Co-presented with PromoWest North Shore & Opus One Productions Tickets are $36/ $40 day of show; for tickets visit www.ticketmaster.com

She was the queen of Camelot.

8.1 – 7pm IN DISCUSSION: HALSTON AND WARHOL: SILVER AND SUEDE, WITH LESLEY FROWICK AND NICHOLAS CHAMBERS This program is presented in connection with the exhibition, Halston and Warhol: Silver and Suede.

FREE with museum admission

He provided

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 05.28/06.04.2014

{EDITORIAL}

05.28/06.04.2014

{COVER PHOTO BY HEATHER MULL}

VOLUME 24 + ISSUE 22

Editor CHRIS POTTER News Editor CHARLIE DEITCH Arts & Entertainment Editor BILL O’DRISCOLL Music Editor ANDY MULKERIN Associate Editor AL HOFF Listings Editor MARGARET WELSH Assistant Listings Editor JESSICA BOGDAN Staff Writers REBECCA NUTTALL, ALEX ZIMMERMAN Staff Photographer HEATHER MULL Interns ZACH BRENDZA, DAN WILLIS

{ART} Director of Operations KEVIN SHEPHERD Production Director JULIE SKIDMORE Art Director LISA CUNNINGHAM Graphic Designers SHEILA LETSON, JEFF SCHRECKENGOST, JENNIFER TRIVELLI

{ADVERTISING}

On the cover: Sarah Grumet, 31, of East Liberty celebrates a federal judge’s May 20 ruling striking down Pennsylvania’s ban on same-sex marriage

[NEWS]

the judge has affirmed the 06 “While rights of same-sex couples to marry, we still live in a state where it’s still legal to fire someone in the LGBT community.”

— State Rep. Dan Frankel on the next fight for LGBT equality in Pennsylvania

[VIEWS]

14

“My son wants the whole big wedding ceremony. I just want to make sure … our family is protected.” — Karla Bolster on her quest for a same-sex marriage license

[TASTE]

fra diavolo brought flavor 18 “Seafood with an assertively spicy marinara sauce”

Marketing Director DEANNA KRYMOWSKI Marketing and Promotions Coordinator LINDSEY THOMPSON Advertising and Promotions Coordinator ASHLEY WALTER Radio Promotions Director VICKI CAPOCCIONI-WOLFE Radio Promotions Assistants ANDREW BILINSKY, NOAH FLEMING Business Manager BEVERLY GRUNDLER Circulation Director JIM LAVRINC Office Administrator RODNEY REGAN Technical Director PAUL CARROLL Interactive Media Manager CARLO LEO

[MUSIC]

think that there’s sincerely something 23 “Iwrong.

I think most people recognize it

at this point.” — Nic Snyder of local band 1,2,3 on climate change, a recurring theme of the band’s new album

[SCREEN]

not see this film on an empty 32 “Do stomach, especially if you like pork.”

— Al Hoff on Jon Favreau’s new foodtruck comedy Chef

[ARTS]

result was somewhat messy 35 “The monologues with no discernible jokes,

but continuous humor in their place.”

—Lissa Brennan on the comic stylings of Eddie Izzard

{REGULAR & SPECIAL FEATURES} NEWS OF THE WEIRD BY CHUCK SHEPHERD 16 EVENTS LISTINGS 38 SAVAGE LOVE BY DAN SAVAGE 49 CROSSWORD PUZZLE BY BEN TAUSIG 50 FREE WILL ASTROLOGY BY ROB BREZSNY 51 +

{MARKETING+PROMOTIONS}

{ADMINISTRATION}

— Angelique Bamberg and Jason Roth review The Wooden Nickel

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Director of Advertising JESSIE AUMAN-BROCK Senior Account Executives TOM FAULS, PAUL KLATZKIN, SANDI MARTIN, JEREMY WITHERELL Advertising Representatives DRA ANDERSON, MATT HAHN, JESSE HERRLE, SCOTT KLATZKIN, MELISSA LENIGAN, JUSTIN MATASE, RICK MINETTI, VALERIE PFERDEHIRT Classified Manager ANDREA JAMES Classified Advertising Representative TERRANCE P. MARTIN Radio Sales Manager CHRIS KOHAN National Advertising Representative VMG ADVERTISING 1.888.278.9866 OR 1.212.475.2529

{PUBLISHER} STEEL CITY MEDIA GENERAL POLICIES: Contents copyrighted 2014

by Steel City Media. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission of the publisher. The opinions expressed in Pittsburgh City Paper are those of the author and not necessarily of Steel City Media. LETTER POLICY: Letters, faxes or e-mails must be signed and include town and daytime phone number for confirmation.

We may edit for length and clarity. DISTRIBUTION: Pittsburgh City Paper is published weekly by Steel City Media and is available free of charge at select distribution locations. One copy per reader; copies of past issues may be purchased for $3.00 each, payable in advance to Pittsburgh City Paper. FIRST CLASS MAIL SUBSCRIPTIONS: Available for $175 per year, $95 per half year. No refunds.

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 650 Smithfield Street, Suite 2200 Pittsburgh, PA 15222 412.316.3342 FAX: 412.316.3388 E-MAIL info@pghcitypaper.com www.pghcitypaper.com

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INCOMING

“IF YOU GO ACROSS THE BORDER, YOU CAN BE FIRED FOR PUTTING A MARRIAGE PHOTO ON YOUR DESK.”

PennDOT denies name change for woman legally married in New York (May 21, online only) “Thanks so much for the help! Got my name changed this afternoon” — Web comment from “Mags1859”

As a city councilor, Bill Peduto fired a shot for gun control. Was he shooting blanks? (May 14) “Any law-abiding gun-owner is going to report a lost or stolen firearm responsibly and lawmakers know that for a fact.

New gun laws will not deter gun crimes.

Criminals will do whatever it takes to harm an individual regardless if it’s a gun, a knife, or a baseball bat. You anti-gun fanatics make me sick as [if] nothing else in the world can be used to murder another human being. What about the knives in your kitchen for making supper, or the scissors for cutting paper or altering your clothes to fit properly? The shovel you use to dig your garden? You going to ban all of those as well?”

— Web comment from “Gary Mesina”

God’s Pocket: A good cast can’t save this self-conscious, downbeat tale of working-class folks in trouble (May 14) “This was so dark, it was hilarious in a catastrophic way. That Hoffman recently died, tragically from an overdose, and the character he portrayed was an alcoholic, gambling loser, was eerie.”

— Comment on City Paper’s Facebook page from “David Gebhardt”

New food-truck regulations idling in face of restaurant concerns (April 23, 2013) “Pittsburgh is sometimes its own worst enemy. It inhibits business unless you’re some major corporation. … They need to get this back on the agenda. What sort of moron would park in front of a restaurant that already serves that type of food? This is not something that is rocket science.”

— Web comment from “Just Me”

“Daryl Metcalfe is in an office somewhere in Harrisburg curled up on the floor clutching a crucifix.”

— May 20 tweet from “T. Andrew” (@timmygeist) following a federal judge’s ruling allowing same-sex marriage in Pennsylvania

6

SHORT

HONEYMOON With the ban on same-sex marriage removed, nondiscrimination is the next battle for “full equality” {BY ALEX ZIMMERMAN}

A

S SOON AS Dek Ingraham heard

that a federal judge overturned Pennsylvania’s ban on same-sex marriage, he sped to the City-County Building to apply for a marriage license.

He was tired of waiting.

He’d been in a 10-year relationship with his partner — a relationship the state has refused to acknowledge. But as it turned out, they’d have to wait a little longer: The county’s Marriage License Bureau was closed for Election Day. “We rushed down here before we could do the research,” says Ingraham’s partner, J.R. Shaw.

They were among the first couples — most in long-term committed relationships — to apply in person for marriage licenses on May 21, the day after federal Judge John E. Jones III struck down

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 05.28/06.04.2014

{PHOTOS BY HEATHER MULL}

Revelers took to the streets of Shadyside May 20 for a rally to celebrate a federal judge’s decision striking down Pennsylvania’s Defense of Marriage act.

Pennsylvania’s ban on same-sex marriage. And on May 22, Gov. Tom Corbett announced he would not seek an appeal of the decision, quelling fears that their marriages could wind up in legal limbo.

“I’ve wanted this for a long time,” Matt Thom said, just after applying for a marriage license. “It’s just been hurtful being treated as a second-class citizen.”

As more couples filtered through and shared their stories with reporters,

a common theme emerged: None cared particularly about being legal pioneers; being first was about shedding the constant reminders that their relationships were somehow different.

“I think what’s happened in the past few days is historic, it’s glorious, remarkable,” says Ted Martin, executive director of Equality Pennsylvania, an LGBTadvocacy group. “Pennsylvania went from being one of the most backward states CONTINUES ON PG. 08

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SHORT HONEYMOON, CONTINUED FROM PG. 06

to a marriage-equality state in less than 48 hours.”

But while Pennsylvania has joined 18 other states that afford same-sex couples the same legal rights as straight couples, Martin calls the victory “uneven.”

That’s because, of the states in which same-sex couples can wed, Pennsylvania is the only one where it’s still legal to discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation.

“It’s really quite a paradox,” says state Rep. Dan Frankel (D-Squirrel Hill).

“While the judge has affirmed the rights of same-sex couples to marry, we still live in a state where it’s still legal to fire someone [because they’re] in the LGBT community.”

Forty-three municipalities across the state — including Allegheny County, Pittsburgh and Philadelphia — have their own local ordinances barring discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. But with no statewide protection against discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity, some 70 percent of Pennsylvanians are living in places where such discrimination in housing, public accommodations and employment is perfectly legal.

Local blogger and LGBT activist Sue Kerr says she’s already gotten inquiries from couples who “are weighing the pros and cons and asking about non-discrimination.”

Equality PA’s Martin says he thinks about it this way: “If you go across the border to Beaver [or] Washington County, you can be fired for putting a marriage photo on your desk.”

No one knows how common such scenarios are. “It’s difficult to quantify, because it’s not illegal at the state level, so we don’t collect the data,” says Shannon Powers, communications director for the Pennsylvania Human Relations Commission. “And folks have stopped calling

us because they know we don’t protect them on that basis.”

For people like Brian Prowel, though, discrimination isn’t a statistical abstraction. He’s a gay man who was fired from Wise Business Forms, Inc. in 2004 after complaining about several incidents of harassment, including one in which co-workers left “a pink, light-up, feather tiara with a package of lubricant jelly” on his workspace, court records show. He also claimed that co-workers at the Butler County company, where he worked for 13 years, referred to him as “rosebud” and “princess.”

He said he once overheard a co-worker say, “I hate him. They should shoot all the fags.”

But Prowel’s lawyer, Timothy P. O’Brien, says that because Butler County

does not have protections against discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation, “We had to assert the reason [Prowel] was treated adversely in the workplace was because he didn’t fit the gender stereotypes of a male in the community in which he works.”

A federal district court held that Prowel didn’t have a case: It ruled that the discrimination claim had to do with his sexual orientation, which isn’t protected. But Prowel appealed, and the Third Circuit Court of Appeals sent the case back to district court, saying he could argue the case on the basis of “gender stereotyping.” The case was settled before it reached a trial, O’Brien says; terms of that agreement were not released.

The case may have ended in Prowel’s

“PENNSYLVANIA WENT FROM BEING ONE OF THE MOST BACKWARD STATES TO A MARRIAGEEQUALITY STATE IN LESS THAN 48 HOURS.”

favor, but O’Brien acknowledges it’s not much of a victory for LGBT people who happen to conform to gender stereotypes: O’Brien’s case only got legal traction because he successfully argued the discrimination was based on, essentially, not being “manly” enough.

Though O’Brien is optimistic that the marriage-equality ruling will increase momentum for an anti-discrimination law, he says cases like Prowel’s are “still a concern.”

Those concerns, he says, will likely require legislative action — something Frankel has been trying to drum up for more than 10 years.

Frankel’s been a key proponent of House Bill 300, which along with a companion bill in the Senate, would “prohibit discrimination based on an individual’s sexual orientation or gender identity or expression,” according to a memo attached to its 2013 introduction. Versions of the legislation have been introduced in every legislative session for the past decade.

Frankel “was out on this issue before anyone was looking at it,” Martin says.

In the Senate, where 26 votes are needed for passage, the measure currently has 25 co-sponsors; there are 96 co-sponsors of the bill in the House, where 102 votes are needed. Two Senate co-sponsors, and 14 backers in the House, are Republicans.

“We probably have the votes in both the state House and state Senate,” says Andy Hoover, legislative director for the Pennsylvania chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union.

The bills have the public’s support as well: 72 percent of Pennsylvania voters are in favor of the law, according to a 2013 Susquehanna Polling and Research poll.

But the House and Senate bills are idling in each chamber’s State Government Committee — a situation Frankel CONTINUES ON PG. 10

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SHORT HONEYMOON, CONTINUED FROM PG. 08

presents

PofE T the WEEK

calls an “embarrassment.”

“The bill was referred by [the Republican Speaker of the House], in spite of my objections, to a committee chaired by [state Rep. Daryl Metcalfe] who is an extreme opponent of any kind of rights for the LGBT community,” Frankel says. “And that bill is languishing in the committee.”

Though Metcalfe did not return requests for comment, last year he explained why he wouldn’t bring the bill up for a vote.

“I think it’s ultimately language that will discriminate against the rights of individuals who have religious objections to that type of lifestyle and that type of behavior,” he told the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.

Hoover says the objections he hears usually involve religious institutions, which don’t want to be forced to hire gay employees on the grounds that it would violate their religious freedom.

“Everybody agrees there needs to be some protection for religious institutions,” Hoover says. “The question is, where is the line drawn?”

Steve Miskin, spokesman for House Republicans, did not immediately return a call seeking comment on wheth-

er House leadership might support the non-discrimination bill this year. State Sen. Lloyd Smucker, who chairs the Senate’s State Government Committee, also did not return a call for comment.

Martin says Corbett is playing an increasingly helpful role in building political momentum, by not appealing Jones’ opinion and by pledging to sign a non-discrimination bill if it reaches his desk.

“We’ve been pushing it very hard in the last year,” Martin says. “That’s absolutely where our campaign is going forward … to make sure we have full equality.”

And even though the civil-rights battle for LGBT people may not be over, none of that marred the celebration that packed Ellsworth Avenue the night Jones’ decision was handed down.

Dawn Plummer, a plaintiff in the lawsuit that overturned the state’s same-sex marriage ban, addressed a crowd that numbered hundreds of supporters. Her partner stood by her side; their two small sons ambled around the stage.

“Today,” Plummer said, “we’re reminded that when you stand up for what you know in your heart is right, you can win.”

“IT’S JUST BEEN HURTFUL BEING TREATED AS A SECONDCLASS CITIZEN.”

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TOUGH SUBJECT

PPS, union differ on usefulness of teacher-quality report {BY REBECCA NUTTALL} A RECENTLY released report from the

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 05.28/06.04.2014

National Council on Teacher Quality lists Pittsburgh Public Schools’ ability to work with the local teachers union as a critical component in improving teacher quality.

That relationship, however, has become more and more strained over the past school year, following the district’s implementation of a new teacher-evaluation system that the Pittsburgh Federation of Teachers says is too harsh. Now the NCTQ report is just one more thing the district and the union disagree on — and, says the union, it’s being used as another tool to blame teachers for poor student performance.

“We did not endorse [the NCTQ report],” says PFT President Nina EspositioVisgitis. “We discouraged members from participating, based on the NCTQ’s track record. They continue the over-focus on teacher quality and what we want is a broader effort to strengthen schools.”

As an advocate for teacher-policy reforms, NCTQ has completed reports in nearby school districts including Baltimore, Boston, Philadelphia and Dayton, Ohio. The Pittsburgh report recommended ways for improving the “recruitment, development and retention of effective teachers.”

Among the findings is the difficulty the district has in staffing high-needs schools.

According to a report, high-needs schools tend to have a higher number of low-income students and lower state test scores.

On a central office survey of teachers who attempted to transfer voluntarily for the 2013-2014 school year, nearly half of the respondents said they would not move to a hard-to-staff school. At the NCTQ presentation on May 22, Superintendent Linda Lane found this statistic especially troubling.

“If you’re coming to us saying, ‘I don’t want to go to your most challenging schools,’ then maybe you should go to [another school district],” Lane said. “Those are not the teachers we need.”

Esposito-Visgitis, who declined to attend the report presentation, told City Paper that the district is responsible for these teachers’ responses.

“If the district would address the teaching and learning environments in these schools, we have shown that not to be the case,” Espositio-Visgitis says.

“Put a good principal there and people

would flock there.”

But Lane says some teachers’ aversion to working in high-needs schools comes from the challenges of working with students of diverse races and those living in poverty.

“We have to be honest about the fact that there are professionals who don’t want to deal with either of those issues [race and poverty],” Lane said.

According to NCTQ, a recent study by Mathematica — a public-policy think-tank — found that teachers can be incentivized to transfer to high-needs schools when they are given a combination of increased compensation and support.

“It’s not necessarily racism; it’s not that teachers don’t want to work with poor kids,” says Kate Walsh, NCTQ president. “I think what the district can do is look for more inventive ways to get teachers into high-needs schools. It’s not money that’s getting these teachers into high-needs schools.”

The report was funded by local education-advocacy organization A+ Schools, the Urban League of Greater Pittsburgh and the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. Overall, it recommended removing state-imposed restrictions on hiring and school staffing.

“There are a number of policy barriers working against getting the most effective teachers in front of the most vulnerable kids,” says Carey Harris, executive director of A+ Schools.

Some of these state restrictions include use of the eligibility list, which is a staterequired ranking of teacher applicants, in hiring and staffing decisions. According to NCTQ, the list keeps administrators from interviewing candidates who might not be at the top of the list, but would still be a good fit for a high-needs school.

Other recommendations include having Pittsburgh continue to use its new evaluation system and allowing performance to be a factor in determining which teacher will be laid off.

PFT President Esposito-Visgitis sees these recommendations as yet another attack on her members, and another way for the district to place blame on teachers without looking at additional factors that impact student performance.

“It’s always the same,” Esposito-Visgitis says. “It doesn’t address poverty; it doesn’t address school leadership. It’s the same old, same old for years.”

“WHAT THE DISTRICT CAN DO IS LOOK FOR MORE INVENTIVE WAYS TO GET TEACHERS INTO HIGH-NEEDS SCHOOLS.”

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 05.28/06.04.2014

WHEN FEDERAL Judge John E. Jones III

tossed out Pennsylvania’s same-sex marriage ban last week, LGBT advocates celebrated in Shadyside and across the state.

Mayor Bill Peduto expressed hope that the first wedding he presided over would be that of a same-sex couple. Scattered online commenters bitched that, while we can now marry whoever we wanted, we still can’t get beer at a convenience store … which is when I knew for sure that Pennsylvanians were taking this in stride.

In fact, the most gratifying response to Jones’ ruling came from former Pennsylvania Sen. Rick “Man-on-Dog Action” Santorum, who had this to say: “…”

As the lefty-news website ThinkProgress noted, Santorum “appeared on Fox News just minutes after [Jones handed down his opinion], but didn’t address the matter.”

He hasn’t even tweeted about it — though he has found time to tweet about having “enjoyed a cafesito at Versaille Miami” — or responded to ThinkProgress’ requests for comment.

Obviously, even Republicans have realized they are on the wrong side of the political curve, and Santorum has special reason for keeping quiet: As a senator, he supported Jones’ 2002 appointment to the federal court. Now, it almost sounds like Jones is trolling him.

For one thing, Jones’ opinion uses the marriage vows as subject headers, describing the lives of same-sex couples under captions like “For better, for worse.” And it concludes by arguing “We are a better people than what these laws represent, and it is time to discard them into the ash heap of history.” That’s gotta hurt: The phrase “ash heap of history” was famously used by … Ronald Reagan, to predict the fate of Communism and all “tyrannies which stifle the freedom and muzzle the self-expression of the people.”

Die-hard opponents, like the conservative Pennsylvania Pastors Network, were of course unconvinced. “The court has arrogantly assumed the right to supersede the constitutional right of the states,” the group said in a statement — warning that the outcome “should scare anyone who loves freedom.” (For God’s

sake, people, what about the rights of our Harrisburg legislators?)

Pittsburgh Bishop David Zubik, meanwhile, said that while Catholics oppose discrimination, Jones’ ruling “waters down” marriage, opening the door for further changes “that are harmful to society … especially to children.”

It’s nice to see Catholic leaders express such concern for child welfare — better late than never, I always say. And it might ease Zubik’s mind to know that when Karla Bolster and her partner, Terry Cowden, went down to Allegheny County’s marriage-license office at 8 a.m. the morning after the ruling, the welfare of their two kids was high on the list of priorities. The two wanted to get married as quickly as possible — Cowden proposed by text message — in order to cement parental and other rights before Gov. Tom Corbett could take them away again by filing an appeal. (Later that day, to his credit, Corbett announced he was dropping the suit instead.)

“My son wants the whole big wedding ceremony,” Bolster told me.

“I just want to make sure … our family is protected.”

As for Zubik’s fear that the couples seeking a license that morning will “water down” marriage … the three couples I spoke with in the lobby of the City-County Building that morning had been together for an average of 16 years.

According to a 2012 U.S. Department of Health and Human Services report, fully one-third of straight marriages have already dissolved by that point.

If anything, Jones’ ruling arguably makes the moral underpinning of straight marriages stronger. There is, after all, something cheap about a love that is defined, even partly, by what it denies to others. In two-thirds of the weddings I’ve ever attended, someone ends up reading from the Bible passage in which the apostle Paul insists that “love is not jealous.” Finally, straight couples are in a position to prove it.

Maybe that’s what scares some of them.

Are we “a better people than what these laws represent”? The verdict on that one hasn’t come in. But Jones’ ruling has finally given all of us, gay and straight, a chance to find out. Not to mention a moment of silence from Rick Santorum.

IN RESPONSE TO THE SAME-SEX MARRIAGE RULING, SEN. RICK SANTORUM HAD THIS TO SAY: “…”

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SEAFOOD FRA DIAVOLO BROUGHT FLAVOR WITH AN ASSERTIVELY SPICY MARINARA SAUCE

CITY OVEN IN THE CITY {BY CHRIS POTTER} My family still hasn’t gotten over the closing of City Oven on Banksville Road last fall. It wasn’t just the thin-crust fireroasted pizza, or the vault-like entrance built into a former coal mine: A back deck, nicely insulted from Banksville’s ’burb-bound dreariness, offered enough space for a toddler to let his freak flag fly, while his parents guzzled BYOB beer and pondered their life choices.

But ever since the Banksville location closed — a victim, apparently, of constrained parking — I’ve found some solace at City Oven’s cozy Downtown lunch spot. Tucked into the first floor of Fourth Avenue’s Times Building, its bright yellow interior features a mix of window-counter seating, booths and communal tables.

All my favorites from the menu have survived, often in convenient lunch-sized form: wood-fired red and white pizza (white or wheat crust available, plus a gluten-free option for 12-inch whole pies); the roasted Portobello panini sandwich; and the mixed-green salad with gorgonzola and roasted red peppers.

A $7.50 lunch combo gets you a couple slices and a side, including a soup of the day. The pizza, while eschewing gourmet-level pretension, is a couple steps above your typical lunch-counter fare: Try the vodka sauce.

What’s more, the Downtown City Oven has just unveiled expanded evening hours — to 6 p.m. Wednesday through Friday. Which means my kid may be back, some Arts Fest evening. You’ve been warned.

CPOTTER@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

336 Fourth Ave., Downtown.

412-281-6836 or www.cityoven.com

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MAKING A

CHANGE

{BY ANGELIQUE BAMBERG + JASON ROTH}

T

HE WOODEN NICKEL has been a Mon-

roeville institution for more than 60 years. Recently, a new owner and an update made us wonder if this grandfatherly establishment might have something fresh to offer.

From a back channel off the Miracle Mile, we navigated between a Denny’s and an Eat’n Park, and pulled up to The Wooden Nickel’s stone-faced building. We were seated in the formal dining room, adorned with a fireplace, ionic columns and surprisingly bright lighting. (The evening we were there was a bit breezy for the outdoor patio nestled up against a retaining wall and secluded from the parking lot. But it would be a nice option in summer.)

Executive chef and general manager Joe Bello has worked at traditional steakhouse Capital Grille and the slightly more modern Ditka’s. His experience shows in a menu designed to please longtime customers, accustomed to Continental classics like mussels with white wine and filet Oscar, as well as entice a newer generation that might be simultaneously more casual (in dress and

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 05.28/06.04.2014

{PHOTOS BY HEATHER MULL}

Tahitian vanilla-bean shrimp and scallops

demeanor) and more sophisticated (about food). Innovations like farmer’s chicken — seared breasts over pesto cream and a wildmushroom ragout — are calculated to age well. The menu also includes substantial seafood and Italian sections, both reflecting the theme of updated tradition.

In Pittsburgh, nothing could be more traditional than a starter of three cocktail

THE WOODEN NICKEL

4006 Berger Lane, Monroeville. 412-372-9750 HOURS: Mon.-Wed. 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; Thu.-Sat. 11 a.m.-11 p.m.; Sun. 11 a.m.-8 p.m.

PRICES: Soups, salads and appetizers $4-13; entrees $15-56 LIQUOR: Full bar

shrimp and a young romaine leaf packed with crab “hozel” (more accurately, crab Hoelzel, invented at the Duquesne Club by one of its members, John Hoelzel, in the 1940s). In hindsight, it’s amazing this dish had to be invented: Crab Hoelzel is simply lump crabmeat tossed in a light vinaigrette and seasoned. The Nickel’s version was

heavy on pepper, light on dressing and unremarkable. The shrimp were extraordinarily plump and firm, but somehow lacking in succulent shrimp flavor — despite being poached in Duquense Pilsner, lemon and spices.

To sample the updated appetizers, we tried margarita lettuce wraps, filled with Cuervo-marinated chicken with lime, cucumbers, onions and a side of lime aioli.

This had the bones of a great dish, with crunchy vegetables contrasting with tender morsels of breast meat. At its best, we think it would have been — like a great margarita — perfectly balanced between sour, salty and sweet. But the latter flavor distinctly dominated, and the creamy, mild aioli wasn’t nearly tart enough to counterbalance.

Even updated, The Wooden Nickel has an old-school upscale ambiance, so we were a bit surprised to find Uncle Sleepy’s Angry BBQ platter, including a half-rack of ribs, pulled pork and pork-belly confit, on the menu; it seemed more suited to a roadside barbecue joint, where we could

help ourselves to as many paper napkins as we needed. We went with the slightly more staid Not Your Mama’s meatloaf, which also features Uncle Sleepy’s sauce, drizzled atop a tower of toasted jalapeño cornbread, applewood-smoked baconwrapped meatloaf, mashed potatoes and onion rings. The sleepiness seemed to outweigh the angriness of the sauce, although at least it wasn’t too sweet; the meatloaf was moist, but surprisingly bland. A stunt dish calls for big flavors, but this one didn’t deliver.

Angel food cake with berries and whipped cream

On the RoCKs

{BY HAL B. KLEIN}

BITTER SWEET

Local charities to benefit from campaign to promote the notoriously bitter Negroni A few weeks ago, I wrote about the grasshopper, an oddly delightful dessert drink. If the grasshopper had a surly second cousin that you still loved to hang out with sometimes, it would be the Negroni, a perfect cocktail for a before-dinner summertime drink.

Like the grasshopper, the Negroni is a colorful, equal-parts mix of three ingredients. But that’s about all they have in common. A Negroni is gin, semi-sweet vermouth, and Campari. Stir, strain, and serve the bright red drink over ice in a highball glass.

Iconic filmmaker Orson Wells is perhaps the most famous drinker of the Negroni, and is often credited for popularizing the drink in the United States. “The bitters are excellent for your liver, the gin is bad for you.

They balance each other,” he once said.

Kona lamb chops featured delicious meat, but even here the dusting of coffee and chocolate underperformed. While they certainly pumped up the flavor of the crust, it was not in a way that merited headline treatment. Far worse, however, was a bed of risotto that was inedible, undercooked grains bound together with starchiness, not creaminess.

From a section of the menu titled “From the Old Country,” seafood fra diavolo finally brought some flavor to the table with an assertively spicy marinara sauce over handrolled macharetto noodles. The shrimp, scallops and mussels were serviceable.

The best items of the night were chicken-parmesan soup and four-cheese ravioli.

The former — essentially chicken soup in a creamy, Italian-accented tomato broth — would make a wonderfully satisfying meal with a salad alongside. The ravioli, by local artisanal maker Fede, were tender and pliant, and the Nickel’s creamy pesto was a helpful companion: It added rich bass notes and herbal top ones, while allowing the wonderful pasta to remain the star at the center of the dish.

A dining experience like this one can be hard to evaluate. The menu permitted some casual choices even in a sit-upstraight setting, and most of our food could be described as good. But how good should it be to justify the white-tablecloth ambience and special-occasion prices? Better, we think, than this.

It’s thought that the Negroni was created in Florence, Italy in 1919, at the request of one Count Camillo Negroni, who requested a stronger version of the Americano (here, gin stands in for soda water). It’s a bracingly bitter concoction — so much so that it’s long been considered as a sort of “you’re one of us” drink between bartenders and boozehounds.

But now, the makers of Campari — the red liqueur that gives the drink its bitterness and color — and Imbibe Magazine want you to embrace the cocktail. For the second year running, they’re sponsoring “Negroni Week,” a celebration of all things Negroni. From June 2-8, participating bars will highlight both the classic cocktail and spins on the drink.

Participating locations will donate at least $1 per Negroni to a charity of their choice. Many participating bars will be donating to Rainbow Kitchen in Homestead. Other bars are sponsoring their own favorite organizations: The Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh Foundation and Food Revolution Pittsburgh are among the beneficiaries. For a full list of participating bars and charities, see http://negroniweek. com/participating-bars.

So embrace the warm weather, put the grasshopper on the shelf for a bit, and enjoy a bitter Negroni.

INFO@ PGHC ITY PAP ER.CO M

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

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THE FOLLOWING DINING LISTINGS ARE RESTAURANTS RECOMMENDED BY CITY PAPER FOOD CRITICS

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APSARA CAFÉ. 1703 E. Carson St., South Side. 412-251-0664.

This storefront restaurant offers primarily Cambodian food alongside Thai and a limited Chinese selection, with a menu balanced between unfamiliar and familiar dishes. For less common fare, try Cambodian puffed rice squares, or saramann, cubes of chuck slow-simmered in a thick, warmly spiced coconut-milk sauce. KF BIRYANI. 4063 William Penn Highway, Monroeville.

412-856-1105. Here, an Indo-American menu offers fresh takes on burgers, fries and chicken, in addition to a few traditional Indian dishes. There are intriguing variations of sandwich wraps (made with naan bread), and there’s a burger made with ground lamb, served with mint-garlic yogurt sauce and “Asian” cabbage slaw. KF BISTRO 19. 711 Washington Road, Mount Lebanon. 412306-1919. Bistro 19 fits within the upper echelon of the region’s dining scene, while keeping its cozy neighborhood feel. It offers a broad range of surf and turf, pastas and poultry.

Its inventive preparations, and the kitchen’s attention to detail, make even now-familiar items such as pot-stickers and flatbreads exciting. LE BOHÈM BISTRO. 530 Northpointe Circle, Seven Fields.

724-741-6015. This charming North Hills venue offers sophisticated comfort food and peasant fare, designed to be shared in a casual atmosphere.

Deviled eggs, pulled pork, roast chicken, mac-and-cheese and a selection of items available as tartines, crepes or flatbreads. Yes, a croque madame can be a superbly presented as a flatbread. KE THE CAPITAL GRILLE. 301 Fifth Ave., Downtown. 412-3389100. This dark, clubby restaurant excels at VIP service, and offers a menu highlighted by steaks, chops and seafood, with sophisticated but straightforward preparations such as crab cakes with added lobster, or steak encrusted in Kona coffee beans.

Also, the Grille employs its own butcher (for cutting and dry-aging), and desserts are made on site. LE THE CHELSEA GRILLE. 515 Allegheny Ave., Oakmont.

412-828-0570. The menu here

Aspara Café {PHOTO BY HEATHER MULL} covers mostly familiar ground, with red-sauce pasta, chops and an unusual predilection for Mornay sauce. But that’s not to say that dinner here is rote.

From the fritto baguette to the rarebit-ish Chicken Wisconsin, the classics prove quite surprising. JE DAPHNE. 5811 Ellsworth Ave., Shadyside. 412-441-1130.

Outside seating is a plus here, but the well-prepared Turkish food is a year-round asset.

The menu is familiar — hummus, falafel, gyros, shish kebab — but the execution is notable and the flavors rich. Lamb features as sausages, chops and a burger, and grilled chicken breast doesn’t get much better than Daphne’s shish kebab. KF

DOUBLE WIDE GRILL. 2339 E. Carson St., South Side (412-3901111) and 100 Adams Shoppes, Route 288, Mars (724-553-5212).

You may cringe at the “white trash” theme, or feel bemused at ordering sautéed shrimp and wood-grilled portabella on a faux TV-dinner tray. But there’s plenty of good vegan fare, beer and a fun filling-station-turnedrestaurant ambience. KE D’S SIX PAX & DOGZ. 1118 S. Braddock Ave., Regent Square.

412-241-4666. This established venue is known for its revered pub fries and the classic wiener with kraut (plus plenty of beer to wash it down). But don’t miss the pizza, with a top-notch crust. D’s continues to raise the preparation of salty, cheesy, fatty comfort food to an art. JE JOHNNY’S. 112 Westinghouse Ave., Wilmerding. 412-824-6642.

This Wilmerding institution offers well-prepared Italian-American cuisine and a welcoming atmosphere around a horseshoe bar. The menu offers the expected standards in the pasta, veal, chicken, meat and seafood categories. But overall, the preparations are fairly up-to-date: exceptionally bright and slightly chunky marinara, fluffily battered calamari and legitimately spicy arrabiatta. KE

Sausalido {PHOTO BY HEATHER MULL} DELUCA’S. 2015 Penn Ave., Strip District. 412-566-2195.

DeLuca’s doesn’t have the White House cachet of Pamela’s, but the portions are large and the quarters are close. On weekends, it’s one of Pittsburgh’s great gathering places. Try the “Super Bowl” omelet. J

LULA. 515 Broad St., Sewickley.

412-749-1200. Seating at this informal tapas bar is lounge-style indoors, and in warm weather, along the sidewalk at café tables.

The menu, which also offers a few entrees, is eclectic, and suggestive of Mediterranean cafés, with plenty of seafood, cured meats, cheeses and seasonal produce. Portions are adequate for sharing, if you can bear to part with, say, asparagus spears wrapped in ham. KE CONTINUES ON PG. 22

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Teppanyaki Kyoto {PHOTO BY HEATHER MULL} NEW HOW LEE. 5888 Forbes Ave., Squirrel Hill. 412-422-1888.

It’s an oddly signed storefront restaurant, but this is Sichuan cuisine that rises above its peers with food that’s well cooked, expertly seasoned and fearlessly spicy. The less-typical entrees include cumin mutton, dan dan noodles, tea-smoked duck and Chendu fried dry hot chicken. JF NINE ON NINE. 900 Penn Ave., Downtown. 412-338-6463.

This elegant restaurant and lounge offers a maturation of contemporary American cuisine, effortlessly shifting from refined Continental to Asian fusion to ingredient-focused invention. Instead of showy creations, the kitchen produces dishes that instantly seem right, such as miso cod or thyme-roasted Amish chicken with asparagus flan. LE OISHII BENTO. 119 Oakland Ave., Oakland. 412-687-3335.

Bamboo walls and a low counter with colorful cloth cubes for seating denote a place for moderately priced Japanese food, including sushi.

Oishii also adds a few Korean dishes for variety and spice; those seeking a little heat might consider bulgogi, the Korean BBQ. JF

into New American and Continental dishes. The preparations vary widely, from ultra-traditional offerings like crab-stuffed shrimp to au courant updates like duck with orangeapricot balsamic glaze. LF TAVERN 245. 245 Fourth Ave., Downtown. 412-281-4345.

Step into this Downtown fancy-casual pub, with smart looks and tasty, updated bar fare. “The Farm” entree featured sliders made with chicken, pulled BBQ pork and steak fillet, on a potato roll with red pepper and goat cheese. The fried calamari come with a basil-garlic aioli, and the robust Yuengling beer-cheese sauce was the perfect complement to “Pittsburgh potatoes.” JE TEPPANYAKI KYOTO. 5808 Bryant St., Highland Park.

412-441-1610. This Japanese restaurant offers fare drawn from the menus of lunch counters, train stations and family kitchens. From salads containing burdock root and rice balls to cabbage pancakes and stir-fried noodles, this dinerstyle venue lets casual eaters expand beyond sushi. KE

UNION PIG AND CHICKEN. 220 N. Highland Ave., East Liberty. 412-363-7675.

PALAZZO 1837 . w ww per This lively family-style RISTORANTE. 1445 a p ty ci h pg BBQ venue hews Washington Road, .com closely to tradition.

North Strabane.

The smoked meats (ribs, 724-223-1837. This brisket, pork shoulder and restored mansion provides chicken) are “dry” (with sauces a charming setting for fine at table), and the sides are dining. The menu is primarily well-prepared classics: mac-andItalian, with traditional but cheese, baked beans, collard thoughtfully considered dishes. greens and coleslaw. Prices are The hearty, but refined, farfalle higher than a roadside stand, rustica pairs wild-boar sausage but the quality is top-notch. KE with wild mushrooms and a sherry sage cream sauce, YAMA. 538 Third St., Beaver. while housemade crepes 724-774-5998. This Japanese substitute for noodles in the restaurant offers familiar crepe lasagna. LE favorites such as tempura, sushi and teriyaki, but takes an artistic SAUSALIDO. 4621 Liberty approach to authentic cuisine.

Ave., Bloomfield. 412-683-4575.

Thus fried gyoza dumplings are Casual elegance is the byword garnished with a small tumbleat this neighborhood venue, weed of finely grated carrot, and where the fare is inspired by an octopus salad is graced with Northern California cuisine, with cucumber matchsticks. KF seasonal ingredients combined

FULL LIST ONLINE

LOCAL

“THAT’S BASICALLY THE SONG THAT MADE ME QUIT THE BAND.”

BEAT

{BY MARGARET WELSH}

DIGNAM COMES ALIVE-ISH

MWELSH@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

MARK DIGNAM & THE HOUSE OF SONG CD RELEASE. 8 p.m. Sat., May 31. Rex Theater, 1602 E. Carson St., South Side. $10-12. 412-381-6811 or www.rextheater.com N E W S

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RIDING THE STORM OUT

Not a studio guy: Mark Dignam

As a veteran singer-songwriter, Mark Dignam is no stranger to recording. But when it came time to make his new album, Re-Build, things just didn’t feel quite right. “I’d been struggling with this record for a few years, on the sound and what songs were going to make it in, and I got so frustrated with it,” he says. “I just went into the studio and said, ‘Fuck it, guys, is there any way we can just bring in a crapload of people, a couple of kegs of beer and just do it?’”

The resulting record, which was recorded in one night, is an unusual hybrid of studio and live album. They did bring in an audience — there are hoots and hollers and sing-alongs — but, unlike many live albums, which can sound like fuzzy copies of a concert experience, Re-Build give a sense of really being there.

“It’s where I feel best, in front of an audience,” he explains.

“Studio work, I find it a grueling process. It often sucks a bit of the life out of what you’re doing.” And since Dignam wrote the record during one of the hardest periods of his life — his divorce — it seemed especially important to record in a way that would stay true to the raw emotion of the songs. “I don’t know if I’d do every album like that,” he says, “but [it worked] for this one.”

Despite the circumstances under which many of the songs were written, Re-Build is not just a set of bleak sob stories. Through the record, Dignam dips in and out of palpable heartbreak (“I Thought That Love Would Win” is particularly wrenching), but the record is ultimately a hopeful, thoughtful collection of barn-burning folk-rock, which often hits home. “It’s very much to me about real moments and real things,” Dignam explains. “People say, ‘You’re kind of like a sociologist with a guitar.’ It’s always about the real world, essentially.”

{PHOTO BY JOHN COLOMBO}

{BY ANDY MULKERIN}

Dark skies behind: 1,2,3 (from left: Chad Monticue, Mike Yamamoto, Nic Snyder, Josh Sickels)

I

N MID-2011, 1,2,3 put out its first

album, New Heaven, recorded by a big-name producer (Nicholas Vernhes) and released on a nationally known label (Frenchkiss); the band got some early buzz, toured a bit and seemed destined for some degree of fame. By the end of 2012, the four-piece was, essentially,

1,2,3 ALBUM RELEASE WITH THE MHURS

9:30 p.m. Fri., May 30. Brillobox, 4104 Penn Ave., Bloomfield. $8.

412-621-4900 or www.brillobox.net

broken: The one-record deal with the label was clearly not going to be extended; touring had been a bit of a bust because of illness; a follow-up album was halfway done but stalled; and frontman Nic Snyder decided to throw in the towel.

“There’s a song called ‘The Shapes of Wrath,’” Snyder explains. “[Drummer CONTINUES ON PG. 24

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W DV E PR ESENTS THE

per for ming windbor ne’s

FEATURING

Conductor Brent havens and Vocalist Brody Dolyniuk

Josh Sickels] had gone to visit his girlfriend in Cleveland for a week-and-a-half, and I had this song. … It was a bunch of different parts and I didn’t know how to put them together. So me, [bassist Chad Monticue and guitarist Mike Yamamoto] sat out on the porch and just played them, straight-up Appalachian style — stomping, acoustic — and that was the very beginning stages of that song.

“Then we tried to record it once Josh got back, and everything went to hell.

That’s basically the song that made me quit the band. There’s a video online of the final straw, where — my Mbox [recording interface] had broken. … We had spent a week straight trying to do a rhythm track to this song, and it wasn’t turning out well, then my Mbox broke, and … it was too much.”

That may have been the final straw, but things had been adding up for 1,2,3: Pressure came from the label and the band’s booking agent at the time to push New Heaven in ways the band wasn’t feeling. “I just wanted to not be bothered, [and make another] album. I think a lot of other people wanted us to continue slugging it out on the road and promoting the first album for two years, and I don’t like that model. If I’m not making something, I feel like I’m suffocating.”

Of course, the split didn’t stick — 1,2,3 got back together later in 2013 to finish what would become the band’s sophomore release, Big Weather.

It took a bit of time, and some recontextualizing, but what had already been done — even “The Shapes of Wrath” — started to sound good again.

“A year later,” Snyder says with a laugh, “I came back and listened to it, like … ‘This is fucking sweet!’”

Big Weather, the band’s new double LP, was basically a concept album (though Snyder shies away from the term) from the start. The idea, overall, is climate change: The entire album deals in one way or another with weatherrelated disasters. It’s not pedantic, or really political on the surface, though.

“I think that there’s sincerely something wrong,” Snyder says. “I think most people recognize it at this point.

Obviously, there are a lot of conservative extremists who still deny it or think it’s some sort of political ploy, climate change. I didn’t want to make a political album, though. I wanted to draw attention to it through stories and humor and

darkness, more than being like, ‘Fuck the Koch brothers.’”

“There was one song that didn’t make the album that was more fiercely political,” says drummer Sickels. “We put it aside; probably more melodically than anything, it didn’t fit. It was probably a bit heavy-handed, how straightforward it was. But I’d say at least half the band, if not more, is pretty politically charged.

I’m fiercely progressive.”

The ideas the songs explore are charged, but often in a more roundabout way. “Big Weather II,” the first song the band wrote for the album, and the simple centerpiece of the second half of the double LP, is a shimmering look at a charmingly simplistic take on the whole issue. “I wanna watch movies,” says the narrator. “I wanna sit in traffic / I wanna meet girls.” And later: “Don’t wanna burn books for kindling.” It’s the most basic reaction we all have to the idea that something big is bearing down climatologically: Can’t things just stay the same?

Related themes rear their heads throughout. “Refusal Bop” and “The Shapes of Wrath” both bring to mind the idea of the hardy — or foolish, depending on who you ask — souls who stay put in disaster-prone areas despite the risk. Tornado Alley, the Louisiana delta, the capes of North Carolina: We question why some would choose to stay when they know another disaster is probably on the way.

But as the ice caps melt, maybe we’re all in the same situation to some extent.

The end — for individuals or for a larger society — looms large here. “Mile High Grass” alludes quite directly to the four horsemen; “When the Levee Broke at the County Fair” is a darkly humorous look at a Pompeii-like moment in time, with characters having the time of their lives just as disaster strikes. “Leave Me

THE END — FOR INDIVIDUALS OR FOR A LARGER SOCIETY — LOOMS LARGE HERE.

h

THE PITTSBURGH SYMPHONY ORCHESTR A & FULL ROCK BAND PERFORM QUEEN CLASSIC SONGS IN A BRILLIANT COMBINATION OF PASSION AND POWER With a pre-concert performance featuring students from School of Rock!

Tuesday, June 24 Heinz Hall 412.392.4900 or pittsburghsymphony.org

MEDIA SPONSORS

PROMOTIONAL PARTNER

CONTINUES ON PG. 26

24

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 05.28/06.04.2014

MELLON SQUARE SUMMER CONCERT SE R I E S

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LYNDSEY SMITH & SOUL DISTRIBUTION NOON TO 1PM FOR ALL THE DETAILS

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RIDING THE STORM OUT, CONTINUED FROM PG. 24

in the Sky With the Lawn Chair” is written from the perspective of someone resigned to death in a storm: “I don’t really care, I’ve got nothing down there / Leave me in the sky with the lawn chair.” (That, of course, might be another approach to the larger issue of a changing climate.)

Musically, Big Weather is in line with what we heard from the band on New Heaven, but instead of the glossy finish Vernhes provided on the first album (with violins from K. Ishibashi and a vocal addition by Sondre Lerche), we get a rawer, imperfect sound.

“We had the entire first album demoed out” before the Vernhes sessions, explains Snyder. “I just wasn’t very good at recording yet. What the New Heaven recording sessions ended up being was: ‘Let’s try to do this, only make it sound a little bit better.’ It ended up being pretty daunting, and may have lost some spontaneity for that reason. I like imperfection; I like things that happen on the spot, and there’s a lot of that on Big Weather.” The new album was self-recorded, first at Snyder’s thenresidence in a stone house in Monroeville, and then at a cabin near Punxsutawney.

That’s evident from the start of “Big Weather I,” the album’s opener: The lead guitar plays loosely with the rhythm section, clearly not by accident, but in order to lend a feeling of slip-sliding instability as the riff builds. The drums and bass do much of the work of building the songs’ basis throughout — 1,2,3 has always been a rhythm-heavy band, and Big Weather shows that even more than New Heaven did.

“The first album has a lot of songs with very specific instrumental melody lines,” says Sickels. “Mike’s guitar parts really complement the new album, because he doesn’t go for the big riffs; it’s more these dirty parts that spice the songs up.”

“Mike would try to write more melodic parts,” Snyder adds, “and I would say ‘More rhythmic, more rhythmic!’

I wanted the songs to work as one big machine, churning out a particular rhythm, and just let the vocals handle most of the melodies.”

“This was the first time we really created something from scratch” as a full band, Yamamoto notes. “But by the end, we started to see the schematics of how these songs are, what the real vision is.”

“New Heaven has kind of a lonely, spiritual anchor, and Big Weather has, like — it’s a setting that you place your songs into,” says Snyder. “Big Weather definitely has a pretty strong setting: within the eye of a storm, or the aftermath of a storm.”

AMU L K E R IN@PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 05.28/06.04.2014

ON THE RECORD

with Tom Rainey {BY MIKE SHANLEY}

Ingrid Laubrock and Tom Rainey

Drummer Tom Rainey played with numerous cutting-edge jazz musicians in New York before stepping out as a leader five years ago. He’s currently on tour as part of an improvisational duo with his wife, saxophonist Ingrid Laubrock. Each night, they play a set that’s completely improvised on the spot.

WITH THIS DUO, OR ANY IMPROV GROUP, IS THERE ANY DISCUSSION BEFORE YOU GO ONSTAGE? There’s very little discussion about what we’re going to do [beforehand, or] really, about what we’ve done afterwards. Other than, “That was really fun,” or, “I had a hard time.” There’s no scheme. When it comes together and it starts feeling really compositional, I think that’s really kind of a satisfying experience for us. I think audiences get that, too, because every night is a premiere. It’s a piece of music that’s never been played before.

DO YOU EVER TRY TO REWORK SOMETHING FROM THE PREVIOUS NIGHT? I try not to. For the same reason: Then you take it out of the moment. When something works really well, it’s really tempting to try to recreate, but it never really seems to work out.

HOW DOES YOUR PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH INGRID IMPACT THE MUSIC YOU MAKE WITH HER? Consciously, it doesn’t seem to really affect me. When we’re playing, she’s a musician and I’m a musician. Hopefully, it brings some depth to our interaction. We’re pretty serious about what we do. That takes over when it comes time to play music.

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

INGRID LAUBROCK/TOM RAINEY DUO opens for CORY HENRY. 9 p.m. Thu., June 5. Thunderbird Café, 4023 Butler St., Lawrenceville. $10-12. 412-682-0177 or www.thunderbirdcafe.net

CRITICS’ PICKS

Saintseneca

Jen Chapin and Pittsburgh’s own The Damaged Pies will share the stage tonight for a cause.

Chapin’s 2013 album Reckoning showcases her Broadway-worthy vocals on all 11 tracks; she and The Damaged Pies are both members of the Artists Against Hunger and Poverty program, which enlists artists to raise funds and awareness of these issues. The show tonight at Club Café, which the New York singer (and daughter of singer Harry Chapin) headlines, is a benefit for WhyHunger, an organization Jen set to end hunger Chapin and poverty by connecting people to nutritious, affordable food.

Zach Brendza 7 p.m. 56 S. 12th St., South Side. $10.

412-431-4950 or www.club cafelive.com

[INDIE-FOLK] + FRI., MAY 30

Sometimes a place brings a band together. In the case of Seattle’s The Head and the Heart, it was a pub. The six musicians were playing open mics at Conor Byrne pub, in Ballard, a neighborhood in northwestern Seattle. Those pub performances led to their formation as a band and the early material that would become its 2011 self-titled debut album, released on hometown label Sub Pop Records. Nowadays, the indie-folk group is playing bigger gigs: Bonnaroo, Lollapalooza and the like — a bit of a change from the Ballard bar where it began. The band plays Stage AE tonight with Lucius. ZB 7 p.m.

400 North Shore Drive, North Side. $25-$28.

412-229-5483 or www.stageae.com

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[SLUDGE METAL] + MON., JUNE 02

No one does psychic-pain-fueled rage quite like Eyehategod. And the New Orleans-based sludge pioneers have always had plenty to be pissed about: Over the last 25 years, the members have dealt with drug problems, incarceration, Hurricane Katrina and — most painfully — the death of their drummer last August. Though the band’s new record, its first release in 14 years, is relatively polished (frontman Mike Williams’ vocals are uncharacteristically decipherable), fans need not worry.

Venom still pulses through EHG’s veins, filthy as ever. Catch the band Monday, with Ringworm, Enabler and others, at the Rex Theater.

Margaret Welsh 7 p.m. 1602 E. Carson St., South Side. $1820. 412-381-6811 or www.rextheater.com {PHOTO COURTESY OF E. MASANA}

[FOLK-POP] + THU., MAY 29

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VOICE

[INDIE ROCK] + TUE., JUNE 03

Columbus’ Saintseneca is like a chameleon; on any verse, it could be a different shade of itself. The folk-flavored rock band is led by singer-songwriter and multi-instrumentalist Zac Little. Growing up in Appalachia, he brought a background in folk and mountain music to the band. But playing in the DIY Columbus scene with punk and hardcore bands helped crank up the tempo of Saintseneca’s music, the pace of which is occasionally frantic.

Its latest release, Dark Arc, has received a lot of attention, with the song “Visions” best showcasing its folk and frantic sides. The band plays Brillobox tonight with Memory Map and Locks and Dams. ZB 9 p.m. 4104 Penn Ave., Bloomfield. $10. 412-621-4900 or www.brillobox.net

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OF SOUTHSIDE

KARAOKE CONTEST NOW THROUGH JULY 3

$2.50 Yuenglings

$CASH15PR0IZE

“Survey says.. it’s a BLAST!”

S C R E E N

Winner each week moves on to the Finals!

JEKYL AND HYDE | 140 S. 18TH STREET 412-488-0777 | BARSMART.COM/JEKYLANDHYDE +

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$2.50 COORS LIG HTS AN D $3 EVIL SHOTS LIKE US ON FACEBOOK!

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TO SUBMIT A LISTING: HTTP://HAPPENINGS.PGHCITYPAPER.COM

412.316.3388 (FAX) + 412.316.3342 X194 (PHONE)

{ALL LISTINGS MUST BE SUBMITTED BY 9 A.M. FRIDAY PRIOR TO PUBLICATION}

LIKE US ON FACEBOOK Band, Lungs Face Feet, Pandemic.

Bloomfield. 412-621-4900.

CATTIVO. The Pressure, The Torn Apart Hearts, The Turbosonics, The CLUB CAFE. Jen Chapin, Mud City Manglers, Slim Forsythe, The Damaged Pies. South Side.

The Ninth Ward, more. Spring 412-431-4950.

Rant Music Festival. Lawrenceville.

REX THEATER. Death In June, 412-687-2157.

Miro Snejdr, Dream Weapon.

CENTRAL VOLUNTEER FIRE South Side. 412-381-6811.

COMPANY OF ELIZABETH THUNDERBIRD CAFE. UV Hippo, TOWNSHIP. The Tony Janflone Jr. Rootscollider. Lawrenceville.

Duo. 412-751-9712.

412-682-0177.

CLUB CAFE. Bill Toms & Hard Rain, Aris Paul.

A Tribute To Chuck 1810 TAVERN. Berry: ‘A Night .

Tony Janflone Jr. www per With Maybellene’ a p ty 724-371-0732. pghci m Influx, Velvet Heat o .c 565 LIVE. The Johnny (Late). South Side.

Angel All Star Jam Band.

412-431-4950.

Bellevue. 412-522-7556.

DOWNEY’S HOUSE. BRILLOBOX. 1,2,3. Bloomfield.

Daniels & McClain. Robinson.

412-621-4900.

412-489-5631.

CLUB CAFE. Broken Fences, EAST LIBERTY PRESBYTERIAN The Weedrags, David Jacobs-Strain CHURCH. Renaissance City Choir.

(Early). South Side. 412-431-4950.

East Liberty. 412-441-3800.

GARFIELD ARTWORKS. GARFIELD ARTWORKS. The Stranger Convention, East End Traditional, Relationships, Fake Mile. Garfield. 412-361-2262.

Grave. Garfield. 412-361-2262.

HARD ROCK CAFE. 8th Street HAMBONE’S. Buffalo, Rox, Spincycle, The Hungry Buffalo, Buffalo, Pothole The Hearts Club Band, more. Hungry Silver ThreadLawrenceville.

Hearts III benefit for the Greater 412-681-4318.

Pittsburgh Food Bank. Station HARVEY WILNER’S. Platinum.

Square. 412-481-7625.

West Mifflin. 412-466-1331.

HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. Andre Hayley Slagel, Emily Rogers Band, Costello & The Cool Minors, The William Mathney. Bloomfield.

Red Western, Lowly The Tree 412-682-0320.

KENDREW’S. The GRID. 724-375-5959.

MR. SMALLS THEATER. Katie Hate, Cynimatics, Pachyderm, Panama. Katie Hate CD Release Party. Millvale. 866-468-3401.

ROCK ROOM. Come Holy Spirit, Carousel, CRUCES. Polish Hill.

412-683-4418.

SMILING MOOSE. Under Everything, Lythem, Curseborn.

South Side. 412-431-4668.

SPACE. Wreck Loose, Troxum.

Downtown. 412-325-7723.

STAGE AE. The Head & The Heart, Lucius. North Side.

412-229-5483.

THUNDERBIRD CAFE. Mike Medved, Lone Wolf Club & Greys Fool. Lawrenceville. 412-682-0177.

ROCK/POP THU 29 FOLLOW US ON TWITTER

BUY • SELL • TRADE GUITARS • DRUMS • AMPS PRO SOUND • KEYBOARDS

BAND INSTRUMENTS 4341 Old William Penn Hwy, Monroeville 412-85-MUSIC Monday-Saturday 10am-8pm www.musicgoroundmonroevillepa.com NOW AVAILABLE ONLINE...

FRI 30

FULL LIST ONLINE

Ghost, Satin Gum. Bloomfield.

412-682-0320.

MOONDOG’S. theCAUSE. Blawnox. 412-828-2040.

MR. SMALLS THEATER. Round Two, Restricted Highways, ShipWrecked., Get The Picture.

Millvale. 866-468-3401.

OBEY HOUSE. Gone South.

Crafton. 412-922-3883.

PALACE THEATRE. Westmoreland Symphony Orchestra. An Evening of Pink Floyd: The Wall & Dark Side of the Moon. Greensburg.

724-836-8000.

RAMADA INN HOTEL & CONFERENCE CENTER. Lovebettie. Greensburg.

724-552-0603.

SMILING MOOSE. Wicked World, Sunless Sky, Curse Born, Horrid Ordeal, Life Worth Sacrifice, Swarm. South Side. 412-431-4668.

SPEAL’S TAVERN. Laura Thurston.

724-433-1322.

THUNDERBIRD CAFE. Blackgrass Baptism, Mickey & The SnakeOil Boys. Lawrenceville.

412-682-0177.

WILSON AMERICAN CITIZENS CLUB. Tony Janflone Jr. Clairton.

412-233-4058.

SUN 01

BRYANT ST. Heather Kropf, Jeff Berman, Randall Venturini, Erik Lawrence. Bryant Street Festival.

Highland Park.

MP 3 MONDAY LONDONA

SAT 31

31ST STREET PUB. Conflict Cycle, Demonwulf, Klaymore.

Strip District. 412-391-8334.

AMERICAN LEGION LANGLEY POST 496. Bill Couch, Moose Tracks. Sheraden. 412-331-0341.

BACKSTAGE BAR AT THEATRE SQUARE. The Hot Club of Pittsburgh. Downtown.

412-456-6666.

BRILLOBOX. PitchBlak Brass

28

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 05.28/06.04.2014

Each week, we bring you a new MP3 from a local band. This week’s offering comes from Londona; stream or download “Touch Me in My Dreams” on our music blog, FFW>>, at pghcitypaper.com.

CARNEGIE LIBRARY, OAKLAND. The Sweatermen. Oakland.

412-622-3116.

CLUB CAFE. Jessica Hernandez & the Deltas, Falling Andes, HEAF. South Side. 412-431-4950.

EAST LIBERTY PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH. Renaissance City Choir.

East Liberty. 412-441-3800.

GARFIELD ARTWORKS. Skye Steele, Vox Lumina, Mitchell Bell.

Garfield. 412-361-2262.

SHADYSIDE NURSERY. Weather Permitting feat. Mon River Ramblers, Hart Kline Read (& Young). Shadyside. 412-251-6058.

MON 02

WED 04

SPOON. Spoon Fed. Hump day chill. House music. aDesusParty.

East Liberty. 412-362-6001.

HIP HOP/R&B

THURS, MAY 29, 9PM

SAT 31

UV HIPPO PLUS

ROCK ROOM. JE double F. Polish Hill. 412-683-4418.

WED 04

DJS THU 29

BELVEDERE’S. Neon w/ DJ hatesyou. 80s Night. Lawrenceville.

412-687-2555.

CLUB TABOO. DJ Matt & Gangsta Shak. Homewood. 412-969-0260.

FRI 30

ONE 10 LOUNGE. DJ Goodnight, DJ Rojo. Downtown. 412-874-4582.

REGINA ELENA CLUB. DJ Ron Hopkinson. Sharpsburg.

412-781-0229.

ROUND CORNER CANTINA. The Gold Series. DJ AptOne, Bamboo, Edgar Um. Lawrenceville.

412-904-2279.

ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance.

South Side. 412-431-2825.

RUGGER’S PUB. 80s Night w/ DJ Connor. South Side. 412-381-1330.

SAT 31

DIESEL. DJ CK. South Side.

412-431-8800.

ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance.

South Side. 412-431-2825.

S BAR. Pete Butta. South Side.

412-481-7227.

MIKE MEDVED PLUS LONE WOLF CLUB & GREYS FOOL OPEN STAGE

ALTAR BAR. Sage Francis.

Strip District. 412-263-2877.

WITH S

G D

TUES, JUNE 3, 9PM

STAGE AE. Tyler, The Creator.

North Side. 412-229-5483.

JAZZ

SPACE EXCHANGE

BLUES

SERIES

FRI 30

ELWOOD’S PUB. Nicole Belli Trio.

724-265-1181.

GOOD TIME BAR. The Satin Hearts. Millvale. 412-821-9968.

JUNE BUG’S. Ron & The RumpShakers. 724-872-4757.

SAT 31

WED, JUNE 4, 9PM

THE

MIKE MEDVED BAND ihj WITH SPECIAL GUESTS

LONE WOLF CLUB & GREY’S FOOL ihj

WORLD MUSIC

OUMAR KONATE WITH SPECIAL GUESTS

MATTHEW TEMBO & AFRO-ROOTS 4023 BU TLER ST LAWREN CEVILLE 412.682.017 7

TIKI BAR. The Satin Hearts.

Washington. 724-348-7022.

WINTZELL’S OYSTER HOUSE. Shot O’ Soul. West Mifflin.

412-650-9090.

www.thunderbirdcafe.net

THE THUNDERBIRD CAFE FRIDAY, MAY 30 21+ SHOWCLIX.COM/EVENT/ MIKEMEDVEDTHUNDERBIRDCAFE

TUE 03

SWHINERY SMOKEHOUSE BAR & GRILLE. Yoho’s Yinzide Out. Beechview. 412-344-8700.

JAZZ THU 29

ANDYS. Maria Becates-Bey. Downtown. 412-773-8884.

CEFALO’S BANQUET CENTER. The Blue-Hots. Carnegie. 412-276-6600.

CJ’S. Roger Humphries & The RH Factor. Strip District. 412-642-2377.

FRI 30

ANDYS. America Kenia.

Downtown. 412-773-8884.

LA CASA NARCISI. Erin Burkett & Virgil Walters. Gibsonia.

724-444-4744.

LEMONT. Mark Venneri.

Mt. Washington. 412-431-3100.

LITTLE E’S. The Ken Karsh Trio.

Downtown. 412-392-2217.

SAT 31

ANDYS. Mark Pipas. Downtown.

412-773-8884.

CARNEGIE LIBRARY, HOMEWOOD. Harold Young Jazz Workshop. Part of the “Mothers of Pearl” event.

Homewood. 412-731-3080.

CJ’S. The Tony Campbell Saturday Jazz Jam Session. Strip District.

412-642-2377.

LEMONT. Dr. Zoot. Mt. Washington. 412-431-3100.

LITTLE E’S. The Andrea Pearl Band. Downtown. 412-392-2217.

CONTINUES ON PG. 30

N E W S

ROCK

MON, JUNE 2, 9PM

TUE 03

ALTAR BAR. Hit The Lights.

Strip District. 412-263-2877.

CARNEGIE LIBRARY, HOMEWOOD. New Show Band.

Homewood. 412-731-3080.

CLUB CAFE. Matt Munhall, Carla Bianco, David G Ward. South Side.

412-431-4950.

HARD ROCK CAFE. The Trews, Backyard Kings, Ugly Blondes.

Station Square. 412-481-7625.

THE MR. ROBOTO PROJECT. Nox Boys, Shaky Shrines, I Am A Sea Creature, Heathers, The Spook School. Bloomfield.

MR. SMALLS THEATER. Old 97’s, Lydia Loveless. Millvale. 866-468-3401.

NEW HAZLETT THEATER. Daily & Vincent. North Side.

PALACE THEATRE. Pablo Cruise.

Greensburg. 724-836-8000.

FRI, MAY 30, 9PM

AVA CAFE & LOUNGE. Durazzo, AF the Naysayer, Dos Noun, JB Nimble, Fortified PhonetX, The Dads, Reason. Oakland.

412-904-3400.

TUE 03

WED 04

ROOTSCOLLIDER

SUN 01

HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. Curtis Harvey, Kevin Finn, Highways.

Bloomfield. 412-682-0320.

BRILLOBOX. Saintseneca, Locks & Dams, Memory Map. Bloomfield.

412-621-4900.

CLUB CAFE. JD McPherson (and His Band), The Cactus Blossoms.

South Side. 412-431-4950.

PROGRESSIVE/JAM/FUNK

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27 7 CRAFT BEERS ON TAP House-Made Liquor Infusions: VODKAS: PINEAPPLE E - CUCUMBER CUCUMBE BER R - GRAPE - ESPRESSO - PEAR-OLIVE - MIXED BERRIES. RUMS: PEACH. BOURBON: BACON - PEANUT. TEQUILA: MANGO - CHILI PEPPER.

––––––– ––––––– Thursday, May 29th –––––––– ––––– SCOTCH TASTING:: Macallan 10-12-15 • Highland Park 12-15

8-10pm - Cheers!

1908 CARSON STREET l SOUTHSIDE l 412-918-1215 LIKE US ON FACEBOOK M U S I C

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CONCERTS, CONTINUED FROM PG. 29

NINE ON NINE. Tania Grubbs & Mark Lucas. Downtown.

412-338-6463.

SUPPER CLUB RESTAURANT. Erin Burkett & Virgil Walters.

Greensburg. 724-850-7245.

SUN 01

These tours aren’t coming to Pittsburgh — but maybe they’re worth a road trip!

AMERICAN LEGION 940. The Bobby Reed Trio, Southside Jerry, Belinda Nicholas. 724-785-8333.

LIGONIER DIAMOND. Swing City Band. 724-238-4200.

SONOMA GRILLE. RML Jazz.

Downtown. 412-370-9621.

CLEVELAND

MON 02

{TUE., JULY 29}

ECLIPSE LOUNGE. Open Jazz Night w/ the Howie Alexander Trio.

Lawrenceville. 412-251-0097.

TUE 03

THUNDERBIRD CAFE. Space Exchange Series. Lawrenceville.

412-682-0177.

!!!

Beachland Tavern

WASHINGTON, D.C. {THU., AUG. 21}

WED 04

Royskopp

ANDYS. Dane Vannatter & Daniel May. Downtown. 412-773-8884.

CJ’S. Flo Wilson. Strip District.

412-642-2377.

NINE ON NINE. Mark Pipas.

Downtown. 412-338-6463.

Wolftrap

PHILADELPHIA

ACOUSTIC

{MON., SEPT. 15}

Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

THU 29

DOWNEY’S HOUSE. Aaron from The Lava Game. Robinson.

412-489-5631.

ELWOOD’S PUB. Marshall Street ‘Rents. 724-265-1181.

MEADOWS CASINO. Jimbo of Jimbo & the Soupbones.

Washington. 724-503-1200.

FRI 30

PENN BREWERY. The John Galt Theory. North Side. 412-237-9400.

SAT 31

THE BEER MARKET. Gina Rendina. North Side. 412-322-2337.

BIDDLE’S ESCAPE. Broke Stranded & Ugly. Regent Square.

412-999-9009.

OLIVE OR TWIST. The Vagrants.

Downtown. 412-255-0525.

PENN BREWERY. Alex Talbot Trio.

North Side. 412-237-9400.

WED 04

Wells Fargo Arena

Claat Friday Reggae w/ VYBZ Machine Intl Sound System.

East Liberty. 412-362-1250.

CHURCH BREW WORKS. The Flow Band. Lawrenceville.

412-688-8200.

RAMADA INN HOTEL & CONFERENCE CENTER. The Flow Band. Greensburg. 724-552-0603.

SUN 01

BAJA BAR AND GRILL. Ras Prophet. Fox Chapel. 412-963-0640.

COUNTRY FRI 30

MOONDOG’S. The Mavens.

Blawnox. 412-828-2040.

SAT 31

ALLEGHENY ELKS LODGE #339.

NIED’S HOTEL. Molly Alphabet Pittsburgh Banjo Club. Wednesdays. & Slip Forsythe. Lawrenceville.

North Side. 412-321-1834.

412-781-9853.

MOONDOG’S. Open Stage.

ROCHESTER INN Blawnox. 412-828-2040.

HARDWOOD GRILLE. PARK HOUSE. Bluegrass Steeltown. Ross.

Jam w/ The Shelf Life 412-364-8166.

String Band. North Side.

412-224-2273. www.

FULL LIST ONLINE

WORLD

paper pghcitym .co

WED 04

THUNDERBIRD CAFE. Oumar Konate, Matthew Tembo & Afro-Roots. Lawrenceville.

412-682-0177.

REGGAE FRI 30

CAPRI PIZZA AND BAR. Bombo

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 05.28/06.04.2014

CLASSICAL

FRI 30

PITTSBURGH SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA. Vivaldi’s Four Seasons feat. Nicholas McGegan, conductor & Ye-Eun Choi, violin. Heinz Hall, Downtown.

412-392-4900.

SAT 31

PITTSBURGH SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA. Vivaldi’s Four

Seasons feat. Nicholas McGegan, conductor & Ye-Eun Choi, violin. Heinz Hall, Downtown.

412-392-4900.

SUN 01

KEN DANCHIK, ORGANIST. St. Paul Cathedral, Oakland.

412-621-6082.

PITTSBURGH SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA. Vivaldi’s Four Seasons feat. Nicholas McGegan, conductor & Ye-Eun Choi, violin. Heinz Hall, Downtown.

412-392-4900.

OTHER MUSIC FRI 30

HAMBONE’S. Girlie Show.

Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318.

THE HANDLE BAR & GRILLE. Dueling Pianos w/ Hermie & Harry. Canonsburg.

724-746-4227.

PARKWAY JEWISH CENTER. Klezmer Kabbalat Shabbat.

Feat. Cantor Shapiro, Susanne Ortner-Roberts & Vladimir Mollov.

Penn Hills. 412-823-4338.

SAT 31

HAMILTON PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH. Chiz Rider. Bethel Park.

WED 04

THE HANDLE BAR & GRILLE. Dueling Pianos w/ Hermie & Harry.

Canonsburg. 724-746-4227.

HEINZ CHAPEL. The United States Air Force Heritage Brass Quintet. Oakland. 412-624-4157.

PAID ADVERTORIAL SPONSORED BY

What to do

IN PITTSBURGH

WEDNESDAY 28

Twp. 412-693-5555. Tickets: latitude360.com/pittsburghpa. 8p.m.

STAGE AE North Side. All ages show. Tickets: ticketmaster. com or 800-745-3000. Doors open at 7p.m.

Out of the Box: Time Capsule Opening

Steel Panther

THURSDAY 29

Ultraviolet Hippopotamus THUNDERBIRD CAFE Lawrenceville. 412-682-0177.

Over 21 show. Tickets: greyareaprod.com. 9p.m.

Russell Peters IMPROV Waterfront. Over 21 show. Tickets: pittsburgh. improv.com or 412-462-5233.

Through June 1.

Momentum CITY THEATRE South Side.

Tickets: citytheatrecompany. org or 412-431-CITY. Through June 1.

FRIDAY 30

ANDY WARHOL MUSEUM North Side. 412-237-8300.

Tickets: warhol.org. 7p.m.

Vivaldi’s Four Seasons HEINZ HALL Downtown.

412-392-4900. Tickets: pittsburghsymphony.org.

Through June 1.

Gibbzmatik (Gramatik + Gibbz) ALTAR BAR Strip District.

412-263-2877. Over 18 show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 9p.m.

The Head and the Heart STAGE AE North Side. All ages show. Tickets: ticketmaster. com or 800-745-3000. Doors open at 7p.m.

SINGIN' IN THE RAIN

Comedian Kevin White

Singin’ in the Rain

LATITUDE 40 Robinson

BENEDUM CENTER Downtown.

412-456-6666. Tickets: pittsburghclo.org. Through June 8.

PHOTO CREDIT: DAVID ELDER IN MUSIC THEATRE OF WICHITAS SINGIN IN THE RAIN - MARK MAACK SQUID INK CREATIVE

May 28 - June 3

FRIDAY, MAY 30 BENEDUM CENTER

SATURDAY 31

An Evening of Pink Floyd The Wall and Dark Side of the Moon THE PALACE THEATRE Greensburg. Tickets: thepalacetheatre.org or 724-836-8000. 7:30p.m.

Kalin and Myles: Chase Dreams Tour ALTAR BAR Strip District.

412-263-2877. All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 8:30p.m.

SUNDAY 18

newbalancepittsburgh.com

Animal Friends’ Mutt Strut EDGEBROOK FIELD, South Park. For more info & to register visit thinkingoutsidethecage.org/ muttstrut2014. 9:30a.m.

MONDAY 29 EYEHATEGOD

REX THEATER South Side.

412-381-6811. All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 7p.m.

TUESDAY 30 Sage Francis

ALTAR BAR Strip District.

412-263-2877. All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 8p.m.

Unearth “The Oncoming Storm” 10th Anniversary Tour

NEEDTOBREATHE “Rivers in the Wasteland World Tour”

ALTAR BAR Strip District.

412-263-2877. All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 7p.m.

STAGE AE North Side. All ages show. Tickets: ticketmaster. com or 800-745-3000. Doors open at 7p.m.

Download the fun & free CP HAPPS APP To find the most popular events in Pittsburgh Available on the App Store and Google Play.

DOWNLOAD THE FUN & FREE CP HAPPS APP TO FIND THE MOST POPULAR EVENTS IN PITTSBURGH

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WATERFRONT 112 W. BRIDGE ST 412-464-1002

OAKLAND

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N E W S

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AVAILABLE AT ALL NEW BALANCE PITTSBURGH LOCATIONS. +

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SUMMERTIME BLUES

DO NOT SEE CHEF ON AN EMPTY STOMACH, ESPECIALLY IF YOU LIKE PORK

{BY AL HOFF} An accidental shooting transforms one man’s soul in the indie drama Cold in July, from Jim Mickle. When surprised by an intruder late at night, Richard Dane (Michael C. Hall) shoots him dead. Dane is unnerved and guilt-ridden, especially when others in his small East Texas town express support.

He even attends the burial, where he and his family are threatened by the dead man’s father (Sam Shepard). But things aren’t as clear as they seem, and the arrival of a private detective (Don Johnson) sends the story in an unexpected direction.

Of vice and men: Michael C. Hall and Sam Shepard

CP APPROVED

The story is set in 1989, and Mickle’s film is reminiscent of indie noirs from that time about ordinary men whose lives unravel after the smallest thread gets loose. (The film is adapted from Joe R. Lansdale’s 1989 novel.) Beneath the surface crime story — and the occasional bit of mordant humor — some big, and problematic, issues are explored: what it means to be a man, to be a father, and the often hazy distinctions between justice and revenge.

Mickle has a good grasp on his actors and the material, keeping the pulpiness between the lines — things only get baroque in the last reel. But it won’t be the big finish you remember so much as the little moments, like those when Hall, Shepard and Johnson just sit around saying nothing. Starts Fri., May 30. Harris AHOFF@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

The Carnegie Museum of Art is currently accepting submissions for this year’s

Two Minute Film Festival.

The suggested theme is “outer space,” to help celebrate the Extraterrestrial: trial: The Lunar Orbiter rbiter Image Recovery very Project exhibit bit of the Invisible le Photography hy series. Deaddline is June 20; 0; films will be screened July 10.

Submission ssion info and forms orms at 2mff.cmoa.org. .org.

TRUCKIN’’ TRUCKIN {BY AL HOFF}

A

MERICA IS having a love affair with

certain foods: fussed-over, fused, authentic, tweeted and served from a truck. It was inevitable that somebody would seek to capture this giddiness in a heartfelt, small-scale movie. But I wouldn’t have guessed the cinematic cook would be Jon Favreau, last seen serving giant sacks of corporate filler in Iron Man and Cowboys vs. Aliens.

Favreau writes, directs and stars in Chef, a slight but companionable mashup of food porn, family comedy and road trip. Favreau portrays Carl Casper, the chef at a fancy Los Angeles restaurant who, while fighting against culinary doldrums, has a meltdown with a widely read food blogger (Oliver Platt). The result: He’s out of a job, a viral laughingstock and a continuing disappointment to his son, Percy (Emjay Anthony).

After a shaggy-dog set-up, Casper and his sous chef Martin (John Leguizamo) outfit a food truck and hit the road, serving Cuban grub across the country. Along for the journey is Percy, who re-connects

Cubano kings: John Leguizamo, Emjay Anthony and Jon Favreau

with his dad, learns to grill and runs the truck’s social-media outreach.

Chef, which bounces along on a kicky soundtrack, benefits from a simple premise, delivered simply, with no tiresome sitcom-like complications. It has just a dollop of family melodrama, and only a squiggle of “follow your heart.” The little bite it has is reserved for its lovehate relationship with Twitter and the

CHEF

DIRECTED BY: Jon Favreau STARRING: Jon Favreau, John Leguizamo, Emjay Anthony, pork

CP APPROVED like: On one hand, Chef is a revenge pic directed at food bloggers and critics who can wield so much power online, but it’s also a rom-com about Casper’s relationship with social media (starts badly, ends fruitfully).

On a less modern note, the only two women in this film — Casper’s ex-wife

(Sofia Vergara) and a restaurant hostess (Scarlett Johansson) — couldn’t be more regressively written: They wear only skin-tight clothing, and express only thoughts about Casper. Hey Jon, women are in the food biz, too!

Chef is a bit of a fairy tale, and magic wands are waved throughout: Casper is simply given a food truck by his exwife’s ex-husband; the truck magically parks in all the best spots, with no pesky permits; and an on-board cornucopia resupplies vittles. Even the ending is like chef Casper’s maligned lava cake — too sweet, too gooey, too expected — though perhaps that’s a meta-commentary on our affection for traditional endings and desserts.

Finally: DO NOT GO TO THIS FILM ON AN EMPTY STOMACH, especially if you like pork. In terms of food porn, this may be one of the more painful films I’ve sat through. I don’t need to see so many lovingly prepared Cubanos and smoked briskets — unless they’re waiting for me in the lobby.

A H OF F @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 05.28/06.04.2014

FILM CAPSULES CP

= CITY PAPER APPROVED

NEW

THE IMMIGRAN T. Marion Cotillard, Joaquin Phoenix and Jeremy Renner star in James Gray’s period melodrama, in which an immigrant woman arriving at N ew York’s Ellis Island is taken in by a man who later coerces her into prostitution. AMC Loews MALEFICENT. Tired of getting fairy tales from the perspective of the princess? Robert Stromberg’s fantasy seeks to change it up, retelling Disney’s Sleeping Beauty as experienced

by Maleficient, the curse-dispensing villainess.

The film stars Angelina Jolie in the title role. In 3-D at select theaters. Starts Fri., May 30.

A MILLION WAYS TO DIE IN THE WEST. Seth McFarland (Ted) directs this Western comedy about a sheep farmer who loses his girlfriend after dropping out of a duel, but who subsequently learns to be more assertive.

McFarland also stars along with Charlize Theron, Liam N eeson and Amanda Seyfried. Starts Fri., May 30.

The Immigrant X-MEN : DAYS OF FUTURE PAST. The newest X-Men film, directed by Bryan Singer, is set in a troubled future, where the few remaining mutants are holed up in China, and under attack from drone-like machines known as Sentinels. But what if someone could go back in time, prevent a fateful act from occurring and thereby guarantee that Sentinels are never created?

Thus, Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) is sent back to 1973 — you’ll know it by its groovy Roberta Flack soundtrack and an expected mishap Wolverine has with a waterbed — to sort the future out. His tasks: to convince the young Professor X (James McAvoy) of what the future holds, and get two troublesome mutants — Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence) and Magneto (Michael Fassbender) — to cooperate with the plan. “It’s not him I’m worried about, it’s us,” says older Magneto (Ian McKellen), referring to the younger versions of himself and Professor X (Patrick Stewart) that Wolverine will find back in 1973.

That most of the story occurs in the past is a narrative cheat that lets the film revisit its basic story: Mutants are scattered throughout the world; regular folks fear mutants and want to destroy them; and mutants can save themselves if they band together and utilize their unique skills. (Days offers a chocolate-box selection of amusing mutations: turning to ice, fire or gold; ability to cause holes in the air; making people vomit; and having a super-long,

CP

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X-men: Days of Future Past snake-like tongue.)

But perhaps of interest to contemporary viewers is the film’s deep wariness about the drone-like Sentinels, deemed necessary for protecting mankind from dangerous “others,” like mutants. Unlike humans, the film shows, machines are incapable of nuance and of changing their minds to become more accepting of the diversity of humanity.

As befits an origin tale occurring simultaneously in the past and the present (technically, our future), the more a viewer already knows about the X-men universe and its key players, the better one gets the in-jokes and the layered plotting. (My own Marvel education is a bit lacking and I missed some jokes, and occasionally struggled to remember from earlier films who was who and what their mutation was.)

On the downside, there’s not much tension to this story: It’s hard to believe any sentient film-goer believes the popular franchise and its major characters are in any real danger of ceasing to exist. But pleasures await in smaller aspects: There’s a crowd-pleasing and clever scene where the super-speedy Quicksilver runs rings around the Pentagon; Jennifer Lawrence, pretty much in blue body paint, and Wolverine sans pants provide a bit of naughtiness; and every scene with Fassbender as the quietly scary young Magneto feels more portentous than the rest of the plot. In 3-D, in select theaters (Al Hoff)

and Lea Thompson also star in Robert Zemeckis’ 1985 comedy. 7:30 p.m. Wed., May 28; 7:30 p.m.

Fri., May 30; 3 p.m. Sat., May 31; and 4 p.m. Sun., June 1. Hollywood

REPERTORY

RETURN OF THE STREET FIGHTER. It’s Sonny Chiba versus a phony charity set up by the Yakuza, in this 1974 martial-arts actioner from Shigehiro Ozawa.

7:30 p.m. Wed., May 28. Hollywood

BACK TO THE FUTURE. Through the use of a kicky time machine, young ’80s dude Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox) finds himself back in the 1950s, where he’s tasked with getting his parents to hook up, lest he never be born. Christopher Lloyd, Crispin Glover

THE RULES OF THE GAME. Jean Renoir’s scathing 1939 critique of contemporary French society is set in a country estate, topped with all the requisite hallmarks of a farce. The ensemble cast comprises the wealthy set, assorted guests and various servants. It’s a self-absorbed society Renoir called “rotten to the core.” Rules is the study of that world; there is no central character, and likewise no clearly defined heroes or villains. In this realm of moral relativism, betrayals and cruelties are fine — as long as all parties adhere to the rules: He who is sincere is not, in fact, playing by the rules — and must be excised in order to restore the perverse, but preferred, corrupted order. The film is well-composed, with an innovative use of deep space and a lively camera that at times seems to dash about like one of the story’s over-excited party guests. In French, with subtitles.

7 p.m. Wed., May 28. Melwood (AH)

CP

THE SOUND OF MUSIC. These hills are alive … with the sound of music. Julie Andrews stars in Robert Wise’s 1965 musical dramedy about the singing Von Trapp family. 7:30 p.m. Wed., May 28. AMC Loews. $5

DEAD MAN . Johnny Depp stars in Jim Jarmusch’s 1995 Western (of sorts), in which an accountant CONTINUES ON PG. 34

Presented by the Junior Chamber of Commerce Players!

LYNN CULLEN LIVE TALK RADIO without all the static

ONLINE MONDAY-FRIDAY 10-11am

only on www.pghcitypaper.com WITH SPECIAL GUESTS

former Andy Warhol Museum director Tom Sokolowski, every Thursday and Pittsburgh City Paper editor Chris Potter, every Friday

M i dn Mid n ight i ght S atu rd a y 6 /7 • $8 1449 Potomac Avenue, Dormont 412.563.0368 www.thehollywooddormont.org

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FILM CAPSULES, CONTINUED FROM PG. 33

The Apartment from Cleveland finds the frontier a complicated and deadly place. Also stars Crispin Glover, Gary Farmer and Gabriel Byrne, and features the last screen appearance of Robert Mitchum. 7:30 p.m. Thu., May 29; 10 p.m. Fri., May 30; 7 and 10 p.m. Sat., May 31; and 7 p.m. Sun., June 1. Hollywood BEVERLY HILLS COP. In Martin Brest’s 1984 action comedy, Eddie Murphy stars as a brash Detroit cop who comes to Beverly Hills to solve the murder of a buddy. The role, which tapped Murphy’s skill in motormouth wise-cracking, helped make him a major star.

10 p.m. Fri., May 30, and 10 p.m. Sat., May 31. Oaks

slacker deadpan 1984 comedy about Los Angeles, which riffs on everything from Scientology and public transportation to hippie parents and crimes-for-sushi.

Starring Emilio Estevez and Harry Dean Stanton, music from an assortment of SoCal punk bands and way too many Little Tree air fresheners. 7:30 p.m. Wed., June 4; 7:30 p.m. Fri., June 6; and 7 and 9:30 p.m. Sat., June 7. Hollywood (AH)

INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE. In this 1989 adventure thriller, Indiana Jones is in Europe, in search of the Holy Grail. Can he find it before the N azis do? Harrison Ford and Sean Connery star.

7:30 p.m. Wed., June 4. AMC Loews

INLAND EMPIRE. David Lynch has spent much of his career cultivating a serious obsession with not only the dark side of Hollywood but also the very machinery of filmmaking. In this 2006 film, a threehour pomo paranormal noir thriller, Lynch peels back new layers of shadow inside the little boxes where dreams flourish like bacilli. Laura Dern portrays Nikki Grace, a Hollwood actress, seeking a role in an Oscarbaiting romance. Lynch does have a way of keeping us fruitfully off balance and ill at ease: a dream narrative is powered by undertows, and subtexts metastasize like undiagnosed cancers. N ikki seems both a person and a poltergeist who haunts her.

Cinema, Lynch suggests, is an engine that consumes real lives to fuel fake ones. And whatever else it might be, Inland Empire is a harrowing rumination on the quicksand of media make-believe. Not because Lynch delivers that familiar news, but because he makes us feel it. The film concludes a series of Lynch films.

7:30 p.m. Thu., June 5; 9:30 p.m. Fri., June 6; and 2 p.m. Sun., June 8. Hollywood (BO)

REPO MAN . Sometimes it takes an outsider to lay bare the everyday madness we take for granted. Such was the case with Alex Cox, a punkish young Brit, who made this sci-fi, punk-rock, proto-

AN DY WARHOL FILMS. Selections from Warhol’s Factory Diaries series (1971-75) and other shorts screen. Ongoing. Free with museum admission. Andy Warhol Museum, North Side. www.warhol.org

THE APARTMEN T. In Billy Wilder’s melancholy 1960 comedy, mild-mannered Jack Lemmon loans out his small apartment so his unctuous boss (Fred MacMurray) can enjoy assignations, including a bitter one with the sweet gal (Shirley MacLaine) whom Lemmon is fond of. The film opens a month-long, Sunday-night series of movies with connections to the TV show Mad Men. Matthew Weiner, the show’s creator, has cited The Apartment has a major influence. 8 p.m. Sun., June 1. Regent Square

CP

CP

Dan Savage's

Return of the Street Fighter (1974)

-------------------------------------5/28 @ 7:30pm

TOUR WORLD’S BEST AMATEUR DIRTY MOVIE FESTIVAL!

Dead Man (1995) 5/29 @ 7:30, 5/30 @ 10pm, 5/31 @ 7pm & 10pm, 6/1 @ 7pm

-------------------------------------Back to the Future (1985) 5/30 @ 7:30pm, 5/31 @ 3pm, 6/1 @ 4pm 1449 Potomac Avenue, Dormont 412.563.0368 www.thehollywooddormont.org

34

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 05.28/06.04.2014

JUNE 13TH 7PM & 9:30PM JUNE 14TH 5PM, 7PM, & 9PM

THE HOLLYWOOD THEATER TICKETS AVAILABLE NOW! ONLY AT WWW.HUMPTOUR.COM

[BOOKS]

“THEY DON’T TEACH YOU ABOUT WHERE YOU ARE: AR THAT’S FAR TOO DANGEROUS.”

LADY CREATURE

{BY BILL O’DRISCOLL}

[COMEDY]

PAST PERFECT {BY LISSA BRENNAN}

I

T TA TAKES LESS than five minutes of conversation with Eddie Edd Izzard to firmly establish that the British native’s knowledge of the history of the United States kno surpasses surpass that of most of its citizens.

As he h speaks with City Paper by phone from Boston, further talk demonstrates that his study extends beyond the development of the 50 states, and explores the rise — deve and, in some cases — fall, of every empire since mankind started keeping records.

“The more you read about history, the more you learn about humanity,” says Izzard, who’s in the midst of a press h junket for f the Force Majeure tour, which hits Pittsburgh for two shows this weekend. And indeed, the history of the world is a recurring theme in his material.

Lisa L. Kirchner

When Americans learn that she once lived in Qatar, says Lisa L. Kirchner, they often exclaim about how badly women are treated there. But ultimately, Kirchner’s new book, Hello American Lady Creature (Greenpoint Press), emphasizes what the two cultures have in common.

Kirchner went to Qatar in 2004 as a marketing professional, helping Carnegie Mellon University launch its Middle East campus — part of Education City, the first co-ed institution in that Muslim nation.

The Franklin Regional High graduate was married, to a Pittsburgh journalist.

(Kirchner herself once wrote a dating column for City Paper.)

Her husband moved to Qatar, too. But in 2006, he demanded a divorce, and Kirchner had to regroup in what seemed completely foreign territory.

“I would get tsk-tsked if I was showing too much skin,” she says by phone from her home, in New York City. “You’re kind of confined to your compound if you want to live anything like a Western lifestyle.” Her job included supervising Muslim men, who “saw me as this thing they had to deal with,” she says — hence the book’s title, Kirchner’s own coinage.

Divorce changed her perspective.

She realized that as a woman in her 30s, feeling down because she was no longer young-wife material, she’d come disturbingly close to how Qatari culture itself views women.

True, she’s not cool with cousins marrying, as they do in Qatar. But she cites America’s pandemic domestic violence and ubiquitous workplace sexism as proof equality is lacking everywhere. “It’s the same whether you’re in the Middle East or the Midwest. … It is a problem to pretend that it doesn’t exist, and we have that problem more,” she says. “Rather than say how bad they’re doing [in Qatar], how can we do a better job?”

Essays from Hello American Lady Creature have appeared in outlets including The Washington Post. Kirchner is now teaching yoga and writing a second book, about studying yoga and meditation in India. (Working title: Meeting My Inner Bitch.)

And she’s continuing a multi-city book tour. The extended Pittsburgh stop includes: a June 5 book launch at Brillobox (with a reading of a short play based on scenes from the book); a June 12 event at Edgewood’s C.C. Mellor Memorial Library; and a June 22 workshop, at Canonsburg’s Lakeview Yoga, called Yoga For Getting Over It.

EDDIE IZZARD: FORCE MAJEURE ED 8 p.m p.m. Sat., May 31, and 8 p.m. Sun., June 1. Byham Theater, 101 SSixth St., Downtown. 412-456-6666 or www.trustarts.org

That’s That not too surprising, coming from a comedian whose work examines human nature, peering with bew musement upon our strangeness as a species, capitalizing musem upon the th hilarity of all our many quirks and flaws, and having fun f without making fun.

His breakout work in the United States, 1998’s Dress to b Kill tour and concert film, introduced an eager public to a keenly intelligent comic who honored the audience by byi passing the standard formula of set-up and punchline to instead just talk, with piercing wit and sharp insight. The result was w somewhat messy monologues with no discernible joke jokes, but continuous humor in their place. The perplexing choice of a stage name, dessert or life’s end; subtle differences between British and American spoken English; differen and Christian co-opting of pagan holidays — these topics Chr won a die-hard audience that, a decade-and-a-half later, d still busts bus out, “At this rate, we’re going to run out of cake,” upon any an occasion even remotely appropriate.

Izzard Izzar has also had success on the theatrical stage — with a T Tony nomination for his Broadway debut, as Bri in a 2003 revival of Peter Nichols’ A Day in the Death of Joe Egg. rev And he’s he’ compiled numerous appearances in feature films

Weather or not: Eddie Izzard

DRISCOLL@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

LISA KIRCHNER BOOK LAUNCH 7 p.m.

Thu., June 5. Brillobox, 4104 Penn Ave., Bloomfield. Free. www.LisaLKirchner.com N E W S

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and on the small screen.

With Force Majeure, Izzard now dissects musical theater, his life as an “action transvestite,” the development of the English language, the Olympics and the use of smoking implements to convey intelligence. As always, relevant historical subjects contribute to his musings. And this time around, as he travels from one U.S. city to another, along with sharing his knowledge of his surroundings he builds upon it: Izzard seeks to supplement his already-encyclopedic store of information with a little help from his fans.

Through his Facebook page, Twitter and Instagram, Izzard is collecting what he calls “Historical Facts.” He is inviting residents of the cities in which he’ll perform to provide him some advanced schooling by passing on lesser-known information about their hometowns — not necessarily secret histories, but perhaps stories not as widely told.

Armed with that information, he’ll record and post short videos, in dressing rooms, theater offices and hotel suites, relating and expounding upon the best three submissions from each city — though if provided with many juicy choices, he might not be able to stay within that limit.

In Boston, art theft, education and the first successful use of sleepwalking as a defense

for attempted murder and brothel-burning made the grade. Philadelphia brought up Yuengling Brewery and the previous tenancy of the spot where the Liberty Bell now rests: George Washington didn’t sleep there, but his slaves did.

“You don’t always learn about where you live,” Izzard says. “When we were growing up, our historical education was focused on America in the Roosevelt years.

They don’t teach you about where you are: That’s far too dangerous.”

While we’re not often taught the downand-dirty details of the neighborhoods where we receive our formal education, once we’re out of the system we often learn them on our own. Izzard’s giving us a chance to share with him — and his audience around the world. At the moment, the videos, a few weekly, are all he’s doing with the Facts. In the future, he says, further investigation or incorporation into performance might ensue.

While this interactive project focuses on the local, Force Majeure is global in nature. The tour has already traveled through other continents, and Izzard has taken pains to offer material that speaks to everyone. That includes a healthy dose of historical examination. “You can see our future written in our past,” he says.

I N F O@ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

Explore more than 200 woodcuts, engravings, and etchings by some of the greatest artists of all time, including Rembrandt and Dürer. Stop in, and learn about the development of printmaking as a true art form.

Peter Paul Rubens, Saint Catherine in the Clouds (detail), early 17th century

Opens this weekend!

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Learn more!

Visit cmoa.org to register for these related events.

June 2 Coffee with the Curator; 10:30 a.m.

June 12 Culture Club: Old Masters, New Music; 6:30 p.m.

June 27 Artist Talk: Copying as Research: Uncovering the Secrets of the Master Engravers; 6:30 p.m.

June 28 Drawing Workshop: Language of Line; 1 p.m.

[ART REVIEW]

But I’m extremely glad I went, and if this is up your alley, I urge you to experience Saudade as well.

GOLDEN HOUR {BY GWENDOLYN KISTE}

INF O @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

SOMETHING OLD {BY TED HOOVER}

{PHOTO COURTESY OF ALARUM}

Saudade, at Alarum Theatre. Co.

[PLAY REVIEWS]

OFF STAGE {BY TED HOOVER}

HOLD ONTO something solid, because I’m going to try to tell you about Alarum Theatre’s Saudade: a senseplay.

At a private home on Observatory Hill, you are ushered into the front parlor with four other audience members.

Via a playing card you’re given, you’re directed to one of five rooms and instructed to knock on a door, close your eyes and keep them closed. An actor then guides you inside for your “experience.” Once that is completed, you return to the parlor and visit another room. By design, you’ll go to only four of the five rooms.

These were mine: In the basement, a young man addressed me as “Davis.” We are ex-lovers and I was a heartless bitch. At some point I was shooting up heroin. This man lived a very sad life and explained it in dour detail.

Next I was in the attic with a young woman who had a fascination with electricity and was hoping I might provide a “spark.” She washed my hands and we danced for a while as she recounted the void that is her life.

Then I was in a bedroom with another young man with whom I had been lovers as some point as well. (Who knew I was such a tramp?) He was a photographer and we developed film, hugged for a

while and had some wine.

I ended up in the kitchen with an aspiring novelist. She was working on her book and we made and baked some cinnamon rolls while she anguished over the creative process. And then I left.

The whole thing is devised and directed by Alarum’s Dylan Marquis Meyers and Connor Pickett. Don’t be put off by any of the above, by the way — the evening is constructed so you can opt out of anything that makes you nervous. The whole event, in fact, has been prepared with an exceptionally high level of professionalism. The fiercely committed actors involved are Matt Russak, Shannon Knapp, Bryant Edwards, Michael R. Young and Moira Quigley.

Yes, some evil part of me wanted to laugh, because that’s my standard reaction to such po-faced intensity. Yet it’s the troupe’s solemn sincerity which brings the whole evening off.

IT’S THE TROUPE’S SOLEMN SINCERITY WHICH BRINGS THE WHOLE EVENING OFF.

SAUDADE

continues through Sat., May 31.

33 Watson Blvd., Observatory Hill. $15 for two performances, $20 for four. www.alarumtheatre.com

A friend asked whether I enjoyed it. Considering that I suck at improv (which participants are required to do), and spent most of the evening feeling extreme discomfort (my one rule for theater is keep your hands to yourself), I wouldn’t use the word “enjoy.”

a cast list of 15, you know that the play about to unfold was written many, many moons ago.

And so it is with Little Lake Theatre’s When We Are Married. This gentle comedy by J. B. Priestley premiered in London in 1938. It’s the story of three couples, all married on the same day 25 years previous, who gather to celebrate their silver anniversary.

But there’s trouble a-brewing when it’s revealed that the parson who married them made a clerical error, and that these six upright citizens have been living in sin. Worse still, will they agree to re-marry the spouse they’ve had a quarter of a century to get to know better?

Priestley’s work is known for covering more substantive topics, but there’s still a great deal of pleasure watching him construct a rock-solid script, diligently creating all the elements and letting the work do precisely what it’s meant to.

WHEN WE ARE MARRIED

Stays golden: Tawny, Scrawny Lion

WHEN YOU OPEN the program and see

continues through June 7. Little Lake Theatre, 500 Lakeside Drive South (off Route 19), Canonsburg. $12-20.

724-745-6300 or www.littlelaketheatre.org

Unfortunately, “rock-solid” isn’t a term which could be applied to this production. I don’t know whether it was opening-night nerves or lack of preparation, but a few of the actors in leading roles were never able to conquer their lines, and their hesitancy and confusion blunted the pace and purpose toward which director Jena Oberg was working.

But when the actors where on top of the script, there was plenty of fun. Pat Cena Fuchel, Jennifer Kopach and Jill Walters, as the suddenly single married matrons, found and played with plenty of humor. Jerry Wienand and Marianne Schaffer turned in fine performances as meek mouse and harridan housekeeper. And Dale Irvin and Eric Leslie, in supporting roles, brought interest and humor to their characters in an uneven production of a theatrical curio.

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In 1942, Simon & Schuster took an enormous publishing gamble: It began producing inexpensive picture books for the masses without sacrificing quality in the process. The result was the internationally lauded Little Golden Books series. Parents and children alike have remained under the spell of those bright illustrations and timeless tales ever since. And although it now belongs to Random House, the series is still going strong today.

Take a trip down memory lane at the ToonSeum’s Golden Legacy: Original Art From 65 Years of Golden Books. The National Center for Children’s Illustrated Literature, based in Texas, curated the 60-piece exhibition, which is the largest collection of Little Golden Books artwork ever displayed.

The ToonSeum is one of only a handful of locations selected to feature Golden Legacy, further proof of the cartoon museum’s unique role in Pittsburgh’s art culture.

The books highlighted in the exhibit include ones you always loved, ones you never read, and those familiar titles that were part of your personal cache even if they weren’t among your favorites. While the series adapted many famous stories, including several Disney fairy tales, the most popular books were originals. The Poky Little Puppy remains the true bastion of Golden Books, with almost 15 million copies sold since its 1942 release. Other beloved titles include The Color Kittens, Tawny Scrawny Lion and The Shy Little Kitten. Golden Legacy incorporates all of these favorites and more.

Even if you’ve never picked up a Little Golden Book, the artwork still impresses.

Produced in an era of Technicolor films, the designs blend sharp details with high saturation. Famed author Richard Scarry, Disney animator Mary Blair and Caldecott Medal winner Trina Schart Hyman are a few of the more than one dozen illustrators spotlighted. And with scores of actual Golden Books available for perusal at the ToonSeum, visitors can read their childhood favorites, discover a new story or compare the artwork in the books to the originals on display.

Over the years, most things lose their magic, but not this legacy. Little Golden Books just seem to get better with age.

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

GOLDEN LEGACY: ORIGINAL ART FROM 65 YEARS OF GOLDEN BOOKS continues through June 30. The ToonSeum, 945 Liberty Ave., Downtown. 412-232-0199 or www.toonseum.org +

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FOR THE WEEK OF

05.2906.05.14

{PHOTO COURTESY OF FELIX BROEDE}

FOR INFORMATION ON HOW TO SUBMIT LISTINGS AND PRESS RELEASES, CALL 412.316.3342 X161.

MAY 30

The Four Seasons

{OPERA}

Pittsburgh’s compact but long-running Undercroft Opera takes on The Magic Flute. The troupe presents a fully staged version Mozart’ss sion of Mozart fanciful, final opera, pera, complete with full orchestra, tra, at Carlow University’s grand nd Antonian Theatre. The large rge cast includes the dual-cast tenors nors Ryan Russman and William Andrews as Tamino. The first of this weekend’s fourr performances, all sung in English, ish, is tonight.

Bill O’Driscoll 7 p.m.

Continues through ugh Sun., June 1. 3333 Fifth fth Ave., Carlow campus,, Oakland. $15-38.

8. www.undercroft ft opera.org

{STAGE}

Four plays in development, all by notable playwrights, gett readings at City y Theatre’s annual al MOMENTUM festival. Three of the playwrightss are familiar at City. Madeleine George (Precious us Little) returns with The (curious case se of the) Watson Intelligence, teaming Sherlock’s ck’s sidekick, Alexander nder

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 05.28/06.04.2014

Bell’s aide, the Jeopardy! supercomputer and a contemporary geek. Keith Bunin (Sam Bendrix at the Bon Soir) presents The Unbuilt City, about a secret private collection, while Daniel Beaty (Through the Night) offers Mr. Joy, y a solo play about a

{PHOTO COURTESY OF JOEL BENJAMIN}

+ THU., MAY 29

JUNE 05 Joseph Finder

neighborhood crisis in Harlem.

And Ken Weitzman has Halftime With Don, about a retired pro-football player struggling with traumatic brain injury.

The four-day festival includes panel talks and a writing workshop with Bunin. BO 7 p.m. Continues through Sun., June 1. 1300 Bingham St., South Side. $5 per show; $20 four-day pass. 412-431-2489 or www.citytheatrecompany.org

{WORDS}

Storytelling is by nature a stripped-down art form, but the creators of the True Story podcast offer an especially DIY model: They call it “True tales told to friends.” (More at www.truestorytime.org.)

The local incarnation of this national initiative takes place at East End Book Exchange.

This month’s event has the theme “Don’t worry, I got this!” and features stories by nine local tellers, including Matt Bower, Ian Insect, Tierza Christine Marie.

Nolan and Christ It’s BYOB; Stacy Keene hosts.

BO 7 p.m. 4754 Liberty Ave., Free. 412-224-2847 Bloomfield. Free

{STAGE}

Pittsburgh Publi Public Theater Masterpiece concludes its Ma Michael Frayn’s Season with Mic Noises Off, which outrageous Nois tonight. The 1982 premieres tonig famed for its farce, fame demanding, highdemand energy script, depicts three separate performances of the perfo risque play-withina-play a-pla Nothing On — first during a rehearsal, then re from backstage, and an finally during one on of its final performances. pe Don D Stephenson, best be known for playing Leo Bloom on Broadway in The Broad Producers, directs a Produc including 2012 cast incl Carnegie Mellon graduate Noah Plomgren. Dan Plomgre Willis 8 p.m.

Continues through Contin

{PHOTO COURTESY OF ANDREW ELLIS JOHNSON}

sp otlight The Mattress Factory opens Sites of Passage, a contemporary artistic examination of political turmoil in Israel and Palestine. The show — featuring collaborations between artists from Israel, Palestine and Pittsburgh — emphasizes the ideas of borders, walls and citizenship in the decades-old struggle. But as exhibit curator Tavia La Follette says, “The way people are describing the conflict is changing because people are educating themselves about what’s going on.” A year ago, La Follette assembled a delegation of Pittsburgh-based artists including Cynthia Croot and Andrew Ellis Johnson to visit Israel and Palestine; now the artists from those countries have come to work here.

The exhibit includes installation work and other collaborations between the Americans, the Palestinian artists, such as Bashar Alhroub, and Israeli artists including Dror Yaron, of the Carnegie Mellon Robotics Institute. “It’s important that we have artists dialoguing about these topics that are most often spoken about by politicians who use rhetoric to benefit their agendas,” says La Follette. “We don’t have an agenda.” Other Pittsburgh-based artists include Wendy Osher, Susanne Slavick and Hyla Willis. The exhibit strives not to take any single stance on the conflict. “It’s metaphorical, psychological, physical,” says La Follette. “Art is a great way to talk about all the ways that these ideas can be presented.” Dan Willis 6 p.m. Sat., May 31. 1414 Monterey St., North Side. $15. 412-231-3169 or www.mattress.org

Sun., June 29. 621 Penn Ave., Downtown. $15-55. 412-3161600 or www.ppt.org

market: www.pittsburghparks. org. Phipps market: phipps. conservatory.org

+ FRI., MAY 30

{ART}

{FOOD}

The season’s roster of in-city farmers’ markets keeps growing this week. Today,

“It showed us that gay bars in Pittsburgh didn’t just appear out of vice and ether,” says Pittsburgh Queer History Project founder Harrison Apple, discussing the research

MAY 31 Small Prints, Big Artists

Charlie Deitch Opening reception: 6-9 p.m. Exhibit continues through June 29.

818 Penn Ave., Downtown.

Free. 412-325-7037 or www.futuretenant.org

{IMAGE COURTESY OF CARNEGIE MUSEUM OF ART}

welcome back the Oakland Farmers Market, in Schenley Plaza; it runs from 3-6 p.m. every Friday. And on June 4, just around the corner, it’s the return of Farmers at Phipps, with Phipps Conservatory’s front lawn hosting vendors of local, organic and certified naturally grown produce from 2:30-6:30 p.m. every Wednesday. Both markets run into October. BO Oakland

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that led to his new exhibit, Lucky After Dark: Gay and Lesbian Nightlife in Pittsburgh 1960-1990. The Future Tenant gallery exhibit — featuring photos, video and other artifacts from iconic clubs owned by Robert “Lucky” Johns — examines the effect that the city’s early gay afterhours social clubs had on the formation of the Pittsburgh’s modern LGBT community.

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view. Small Prints, Big Artists: Masterpieces From the Renaissance to the Baroque traces the historical development of prints and includes works by Dürer (like “Knight, Death, and The Devil,” pictured), Rembrandt, Rubens and more. BO 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Exhibit continues through Sept.

15. 4400 Forbes Ave., Oakland. $11.9517.95 (free for kids under 3). 412-6223131 or www. cmoa.org

{ART}

Some of the Carnegie Museum of Art’s collection of nearly

{MUSIC}

Internationally renowned violin prodigy Ye-Eun Choi (pictured) features tonight with the Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra for a performance of a baroque masterpiece, Antonio Vivaldi’s The Four Seasons. Choi, who has earned the support of Grammy award winner and veritable violin superstar Anne-Sophie Mutter, will perform the four violin concertos, each of which represents a different season, in their entirety. Also on the program are selections from Mozart and Haydn. DW 8 p.m. Fri., May 30. Also 8 p.m.

Sat., May 31, and 2:30 p.m.

Sun., June 1. 600 Penn Ave., Downtown. $25.75-109.75.

412-392-4900 or www. pittsburghsymphony.org

{DANCE}

Art by Albrecht Dürer

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Belly-dance has many roots.

They lie in places as diverse as Egypt, India and Morocco, with more recent influence from contemporary Western sensibilities. San Francisco’s Jill Parker, who pioneered the modern tribal-fusion bellydance movement, headlines tonight’s Maqam Spectacular Bellydance, at the Rex Theater.

The evening of dance and live music is presented by Pittsburgh’s Hamer Sisters, longtime stalwarts of the local scenes. The Hamers perform alongside other local talent, and visiting music and dance acts from New York, Buffalo and Cleveland. BO 8 p.m.

1602 E. Carson St., South Side. $15-20 (21 and over unless accompanied by parent). www.mariahamer.com

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MAY 30

{OUTDOORS}

Maqam Spectacular Bellydance

Finally! A marathon for those who appreciate the romance of getting lost. Pittsburgh’s exploratory athletic organization City of Play is holding its second annual City Spree Race today. The race encourages participants to plan their own routes between checkpoints scattered throughout the city from Squirrel Hill to Highland Park.

9,000 prints dates to the 1400s, when the printing press was new. Many of the works are so fragile they haven’t been exhibited for decades. Starting today, however, the museum puts more than 200 of them on

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If you hit only one installment of Hemingway’s Summer Poetry Series this year, tonight’s maybe should be it. The accomplished poets reading at Hemingway’s Café include John Grochalski, Yona Harvey (Hemming the Water), Peter Oresick (Warhol-o-rama), Judith Vollmer (Water Books) and Pittsburgh Poetry Exchange founder Michael Wurster. BO 8 p.m. 3911 Forbes Ave., Oakland. Free. jbauer103w@aol.com

+ THU., JUNE 05 {TALK}

Joseph Finder, touted by many as the “master of the modern thriller,” visits Barnes & Noble in West Homestead for a book-signing with his latest novel, Suspicion. The tense thriller follows a struggling single father who unwittingly receives drug money and must face the dire consequences. It also sees Finder experimenting with social commentary and writing from a more personal standpoint than his previous books, such as Paranoia, which was adapted into a film starring Liam Hemsworth and Gary Oldman. DW 7 p.m.

100 W. Bridge St., West Homestead. Free. 412-462-5743 or www.barnesandnoble.com

City ty S Spree pree pr ee Race Rac ac

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Runners of all ages and skill levels are welcome, and competition is based on a point system that factors in speed, distance, and the uniqueness of each runner’s route. The event coordinators are also seeking volunteers.

DW 8 a.m. 6587 Hamilton Ave., Larimer. $30. www.cityspreerace.com

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{ALL LISTINGS MUST BE SUBMITTED BY 9 A.M. FRIDAY PRIOR TO PUBLICATION}

Help Dee’s Café Break the Topp 50!

TO SUBMIT A LISTING: HTTP://HAPPENINGS.PGHCITYPAPER.COM 412.316.3388 (FAX) + 412.316.3342 X161 (PHONE)

THEATER 9 TO 5: THE MUSICAL.

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1314 EAST CARSON ST. SOUTHS I D E

Presented by Mon River Arts.

Fri, Sat, 7:30 p.m. and Sun, 2 p.m.

Thru June 8. Grand Theatre.

412-628-1032.

DEADLY LESSONS. Interactive murder mystery dinner theater.

Every other Sat, 7 p.m. Thru June 28. Gaetano’s Restaurant, Dormont. 724-344-2069.

HAIRSPRAY JR. Presented by the Stage Right! Student Company. Fri., May 30, 6:30 p.m. and Sat., May 31, 2 & 6:30 p.m. Greensburg Garden and Civic Center, Greensburg.

724-836-1757.

HAPPILY NEVER AFTER. Presented by Musical Mysteries & More. Sat., May 31, 5:30 p.m. Rosecourt Winery.

724-448-4506.

A LOVE AFFAIR. Romantic comedy about a couple clearing out their attic & reliving moments from a 38-year marriage. Thu-Sat, 7:30 p.m.

Thru May 31. South Park Theatre, Bethel Park. 412-831-8552.

THE MAGIC FLUTE. Whimsical tale of two men who must face obstacles of magic & mystery to find their true loves.

Presented by Undercroft Opera.

May 29-31, 7 p.m. and Sun., June 1, 2 p.m. Antonian Theatre, Carlow University, Oakland.

412-422-7919.

THE MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR. Presented by Poor Yorick’s Players. Sat, Sun, 2 p.m. Thru June 8. Tall Trees Amphitheater, Monroeville.

412-537-1705.

MOMENTUM. Readings of 4 new plays, playwrights’ panel, more. May 29-June 1. City Theatre, South Side. 412-431-2489.

MOONLIGHT & MAGNOLIAS. A Hollywood farce. Thu-Sat, 7:30 p.m. and Sun, 2 p.m. Thru June 8. New Castle Playhouse, New Castle. 724-654-3437.

MURDER ON THE HIGH SEAS. Presented by Musical Mysteries & More. Fri., May 30, 6:30 p.m. Lamplighter Restaurant. 724-468-4545.

NOISES OFF. A play-within-

FULL LIST ONLINE

PUBLICNOTICES P U BL I CN OT IC E S @PG H C IT YPAPE R . C O M

{BY ERIC LIDJI}

a-play about a troupe of middling Perry North. www.alarumtheatre. com Wed-Sat, 7 p.m. Thru May 31.

British actors rehearsing & SINGIN’ IN THE RAIN. Fri., performing a comedy. Presented May 30, 8 p.m., Sat, 2 & 8 p.m.,

by Pittsburgh Public Theater.

Sun, 2 p.m. and June 3-6, 8 p.m.

Wed-Fri, 8 p.m., Sat, 2 & 8 p.m., Thru June 8. Benedum Center, Sun, 2 & 7 p.m. and Tue, 7 p.m.

Downtown. 412-456-6666.

Thru June 24. O’Reilly Theater, TOO MANY COOKS. Irving Downtown. 412-316-1600.

Bubbalowe & his daughter RING OF FIRE: THE MUSIC have risked everything to OF JOHNNY CASH. open a gourmet restaurant.

Tribute to Johnny Cash.

When their singing chef Wed-Fri, 7:30 p.m., Sun, fails to appear, the 2 p.m. and Sat, 2 & grand opening 7:30 p.m. Thru becomes outrageously Aug. 16. Cabaret hysterical. Thu-Sat, at Theater Square, www. per 7:30 p.m. and Sun, Downtown. pa pghcitym 2 p.m. Thru June 8. .co 412-456-6666.

Apple Hill Playhouse.

RUN FOR YOUR WIFE. 724-468-5050.

Comedy by Ray Cooney THE WEDDING SINGER. about a cab driver who juggles Musical based on the movie. two wives until he ends up in Presented by Stage Right’s the hospital. Fri, Sat, 7:30 p.m.

Student Company. Thu., Thru June 14. Comtra Theatre, May 29, 7 p.m. and May 30-31, Cranberry. 724-591-8727.

8:30 p.m. Greensburg Garden SAUDADE: A SENSEPLAY. and Civic Center, Greensburg.

Two to four short performances 724-832-7464. of stories focusing on events WHEN WE ARE MARRIED. of separation. Presented by On an evening in 1908 Alarum Theatre. 33 Watson Blvd., when 3 upstanding couples gather to celebrate their 25 years of wedded “bliss,” a secret is revealed that hilariously upends the party: none of them are legally married. Thu-Sat, 8 p.m.

Thru June 7. Little Lake Theatre, Canonsburg. 724-745-6300.

COMEDY THU 29

COMEDY OPEN MIC. Thu, 9 p.m. Thru June 26 Hambone’s, Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318.

OPEN STAGE COMEDY NIGHT. Thu Eclipse Lounge, Lawrenceville. 412-251-0097.

PITTSBURGH IMPROV JAM. Thu, 10 p.m. Cabaret at Theater Square, Downtown.

412-325-6769.

STEEL CITY COMEDY TOUR. 8 p.m. Paradise Beach, Neville Island. 412-264-6570.

THURSDAY NIGHT SPECIAL. Thu, 8 p.m. Steel City Improv Theater, Shadyside.

412-404-2695.

THU 29 - SUN 01

RUSSELL PETERS. 8 & 10:30 p.m., Fri., May 30, 8 & 10:30 p.m., Sat., May 31, 7 & 9:30 p.m. and Sun., June 1, 7 p.m. The Improv, Waterfront.

412-462-5233.

FRI 30

BEST OF THE BURGH COMEDY SHOWCASE. Fri, 8 p.m. Thru July 25 Corner Cafe, South Side. 412-488-2995.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 05.28/06.04.2014

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“her Outer space taken In,” by Laura Beth Konopinski, from Breaking Through: Moving 4ward, at Pittsburgh Glass Center, in Friendship

NEW THIS WEEK

BE GALLERIES. Crayons, Cats, Dolls & Monsters.

Work by Tara Zalewsky-Nease.

Opening reception May 31, 5-8 p.m. Lawrenceville.

412-687-2606.

CARNEGIE MUSEUM OF ART. Small Prints, Big Artists: Masterpieces from the Renaissance to Baroque. 200+ pieces from the museum’s collection. Opens May 31.

Oakland. 412-622-3131.

CHRISTINE FRECHARD GALLERY. Travel the World in Print. Work by Suzanne Watters. Opening reception: May 31, 5-8 p.m. Squirrel Hill.

412-421-8888.

DV8 ESPRESSO BAR & GALLERY. Elisabeth Minningham. Sculpted paintings. Opens June 1.

Greensburg. 724-219-0804.

SPINNING PLATE GALLERY. Mythology. Drawings by Richard Claraval. Reception June 14, 7-10 p.m. Friendship.

412-441-0194.

ONGOING

Feat. 30 artists in a variety of mediums. Downtown.

412-291-6499.

ARTDFACT. Timothy Kelley.

Paintings & sculpture.

North Side. 724-797-3302.

BOULEVARD GALLERY. Touch of Class II. Watercolors

by Marci Evancho Mason.

Verona. 412-828-1031.

BOXHEART GALLERY. modern+contemporary.

Work by Melissa Kuntz, Cara Livorio, Mark Loebach Jennipher Satterly, & Daria Sandburg. Bloomfield.

412-687-8858.

CARNEGIE LIBRARY, OAKLAND. Nia Quilt Guild Member Show.

Oakland. 412-622-3151.

CARNEGIE MUSEUM OF ART. David Hartt: Stray Light. Feat. color photographs, sculptures, & video installation. Teenie Harris Photographs: Baseball in Pittsburgh. Feat. an inside look at some of the greatest moments in Negro League, Major League, & sandlot

707 PENN GALLERY. The Occasional Market. Work

by Tom Sarver. Downtown.

412-456-6666.

720 RECORDS. The Art of Julie Mallis. Lawrenceville.

412-904-4592.

AMERICAN JEWISH MUSEUM. Synagogues of Prague & Budapest.

Photographs by David Aschkenas. Squirrel Hill.

412-521-8011 x 105.

ANDY WARHOL MUSEUM. Halston & Warhol: Silver & Suede.

Exhibition integrating Halston’s garments & accessories w/ photography, video & paintings by Warhol.

Permanent collection.

Artwork and artifacts by the famed Pop Artist.

North Side. 412-237-8300.

ART INSTITUTE OF PITTSBURGH. Inspired Life: The Art, Craft, Vision, & Inspiration of Art Institute of Pittsburgh Alumni.

Enjoy the smooth taste of summer with Platinum 7X, the American-made vodka that’s been distilled seven times for exceptional purity and a crisp finish.

CONTINUES ON PG. 43

PLATINUM7X.COM | PLEASE DRINK RESPONSIBLY ©2014 Platinum 7X® Vodka. 40% ALC/VOL (80 Proof). Distilled seven times from grain. Bottled by Sazerac Co., Frankfort, KY. Product of the U.S.A.

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BIG LIST, CONTINUED FROM PG. 40

ED BAILEY, GIO ATTISANO, ALLAN LEE, JEFF SCHNEIDER, BRAD RYAN & CHUCK KRIEGER (LATE). The Steel City Comedy Tour. 10:30 p.m. Club Cafe, South Side. 412-431-4950.

KEVIN WHITE. 8 p.m.

Latitude 40, North Fayette.

412-693-5555.

LAST FRIDAYS W/ DAVON MAGWOOD. Feat. a rotating cast of comedians. Last Fri of every month, 8 p.m. Thru Sept. 26 Bayardstown Social Club, Strip District. 412-251-6058.

MAGICIAN-COMEDIAN EXTREME MICHAEL GIGLIOTTI. Amazing strolling magic & comedy. Fun for the whole family feat. Caesars Palace award winning Master Magician MICHAELANGELO. Fri, 5-7 p.m.

Mullen’s Bar & Grill, North Side.

412-231-1112.

STEAMER. Fri, 9:30 p.m. Thru May 30 Steel City Improv Theater, Shadyside. 412-404-2695.

YO! GLORIA! 8 p.m. Steel City Improv Theater, Shadyside.

412-404-2695.

YOUR LIFE: THE MUSICAL. 10 p.m. Arcade Comedy Theater, Downtown. 412-339-0608.

SAT 31

BYOT (BRING YOUR OWN TEAM). 11 p.m. Steel City Improv Theater, Shadyside.

412-404-2695.

CHARACTER BOX. 9:30 p.m.

Steel City Improv Theater,

emerging artists. North Side.

724-797-3302.

AUGUST WILSON CENTER FOR AFRICAN AMERICAN CULTURE. Pittsburgh: Reclaim, Renew, Remix. Feat. imagery, film & oral history narratives to explore communities, cultures, & innovations.

Downtown. 412-258-2700.

TUESDAY NIGHT BAYERNHOF MUSEUM. STAND-UP. Tue, 9 p.m.

Large collection of automatic roll-played musical instruments Hot Rod Cafe, Mt. Washington. and music boxes in a mansion 412-592-7869. setting. Call for appointment.

O’Hara. 412-782-4231.

COMEDY OPEN BOST BUILDING. MIC. Hosted by Collectors.

Ronald Renwick.

Preserved materials Wed, 9:30 p.m. reflecting the www. per a p ty Scarpaci’s Place, industrial heritage pghci m o .c Mt. Washington. of Southwestern PA. 412-431-9908.

Homestead. 412-464-4020.

DAVON MAGWOOD. CARNEGIE MUSEUM 9 p.m. Lava Lounge, OF NATURAL HISTORY. South Side. 412-431-5282.

RACE: Are We So Different?.

Text, photographs, interactive STAND-UP COMEDY audiovisual components, & OPEN MIC. Wed, 8 p.m. related artifacts challenge The BeerHive, Strip District. perceptions about race. Oakland.

412-904-4502.

412-622-3131.

CARNEGIE SCIENCE ALLEGHENY-KISKI VALLEY CENTER. Ongoing: Buhl Digital HERITAGE MUSEUM. Dome (planetarium), Miniature Military artifacts and exhibits Railroad and Village, USS on the Allegheny Valley’s Requin submarine, and more. industrial heritage. Tarentum.

North Side. 412-237-3400.

724-224-7666.

CARRIE FURNACE. Built in 1907, Carrie Furnaces 6 & 7 ARTDFACT. Artdfact Gallery. are extremely rare examples of An eclectic showroom of fine pre World War II iron-making art sculpture & paintings from Shadyside. 412-404-2695.

DAVID KAYE, MATT STANTON, GAB BONESSO. 7 p.m. The Rose Bar, McKeesport.

412-751-6960.

LAW PROV. 8 p.m. Steel City Improv Theater, Shadyside.

412-404-2695.

TUE 03

WED 04

FULL LIST ONLINE

EXHIBITS

Mullaney

E L D D I F & P R A H Irish Pub

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Cheer on your home team Daily drink specials June 12 - July 13 The h Th heartt off Ireland I l d in i the th heart h t off the th Strip!

24th St. and Penn Ave. • 412-624-6622

w w w. HARPAN DFIDDLE .com 42

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 05.28/06.04.2014

technology. Rankin.

412-464-4020 x.21.

COMPASS INN. Demos and tours with costumed guides featuring this restored stagecoach stop. 724-238-4983.

CONNEY M. KIMBO GALLERY. University of Pittsburgh Jazz Exhibit: Memorabilia & Awards from the International Hall of Fame.

Oakland. 412-648-7446.

DEPRECIATION LANDS MUSEUM. Small living history museum celebrating the settlement and history of the Depreciation Lands. Allison Park.

412-486-0563.

FALLINGWATER. Tour the famed Frank Lloyd Wright house. 724-329-8501.

FIRST PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH. Tours of 13 Tiffany stained-glass windows.

Downtown. 412-471-3436.

FORT PITT MUSEUM. Unconquered: History Meets Hollywood at Fort Pitt. Original movie props, photographs, & costumes alongside 18th century artifacts & documents, comparing & contrasting historical events w/ Hollywood depictions. Reconstructed fort houses museum of Pittsburgh history circa French & Indian War and American Revolution.

Downtown. 412-281-9285.

FRICK ART & HISTORICAL CENTER. Ongoing: tours of Clayton, the Frick estate, with classes, car & carriage museum.

Point Breeze. 412-371-0600.

HARTWOOD ACRES. Tour this Tudor mansion and stable complex, and enjoy hikes and outdoor activities in the surrounding park. Allison Park.

412-767-9200.

HUNT INSTITUTE FOR BOTANICAL DOCUMENTATION. Duets. Harmonious couplings of botanical art w/ items created between the 16th & 21st centuries from the Hunt Institute collections. Oakland.

412-268-2434.

KENTUCK KNOB. Tour the other Frank Lloyd Wright house.

724-329-8501.

KERR MEMORIAL MUSEUM. Tours of a restored 19th-century, middle-class home. Oakmont.

412-826-9295.

MARIDON MUSEUM. Collection includes jade and ivory statues from China and Japan, as well as Meissen porcelain. Butler. 724-282-0123.

MCGINLEY HOUSE & MCCULLY LOG HOUSE. Historic homes open for tours, lectures and more. Monroeville.

412-373-7794.

NATIONAL AVIARY. Home to more than 600 birds from over 200 species. With classes, lectures, demos and more.

North Side. 412-323-7235.

NATIONALITY ROOMS. 26 rooms helping to tell the story of Pittsburgh’s immigrant past.

University of Pittsburgh. Oakland.

412-624-6000.

EVERYONE IS A CRITIC EVENT: The Pittsburgh Cultural Trust presents

Gene Kelly: The Legacy, with Patricia Ward Kelly, Byham Theater, Downtown

CRITIC: Melvin Cullen, 58, a

salesperson from O’Hara Township WHEN: Wed., May 21

My wife was fortunate enough to get some tickets to this show and we thought it would be enjoyable. I didn’t have a whole lot of experience with Gene Kelly’s music or dance before, but there was a sense of Pittsburgh pride; he is a native son. It was very much a learning experience.

I didn’t really know the extent of his career. It was quite impressive. The number of films he did and the athleticism of what he did was just incredible. And I think his wife, who presented, obviously loved him very much. And she saw the relevance of his work to older and younger generations. It was interesting of her to take this task on, and she did it very well. I especially liked when she brought out his memorabilia — his hats and scripts and stuff. These seemingly little things clearly had a great deal of meaning to both of them.

BY DAN WILLIS

OLD ST. LUKE’S. Pioneer church features 1823 pipe organ, Revolutionary War graves. Scott.

412-851-9212.

OLIVER MILLER HOMESTEAD. This pioneer/ Whiskey Rebellion site features log house, blacksmith shop & gardens. South Park.

412-835-1554.

PENNSYLVANIA TROLLEY MUSEUM. Trolley rides and exhibits. Includes displays, walking tours, gift shop, picnic area and Trolley Theatre.

Washington. 724-228-9256.

PHIPPS CONSERVATORY & BOTANICAL GARDEN. Butterfly Forest. Watch butterflies emerge from their chrysalises to flutter among tropical blooms. Summer Flower Show. Feat. a variety of imaginative railroad displays enhanced by flowers, plants & interactive features. 14 indoor rooms & 3 outdoor gardens feature exotic plants and floral displays from around the world.

Oakland. 412-622-6914.

PINBALL PERFECTION. Pinball museum & players club.

West View. 412-931-4425.

PITTSBURGH ZOO & PPG AQUARIUM. Home to 4,000 animals, including many endangered species. Highland Park. 412-665-3639.

RACHEL CARSON HOMESTEAD. A Reverence for Life. Photos and artifacts of her life & work.

Springdale. 724-274-5459.

RIVERS OF STEEL NATIONAL HERITAGE AREA. Exhibits on the Homestead Mill. Steel industry and community artifacts from 1881-1986. Homestead.

412-464-4020.

SENATOR JOHN HEINZ HISTORY CENTER. Pittsburgh’s Lost Steamboat: Treasures of the Arabia. Exhibit feat. nearly 2,000 once-hidden treasures exploring Pittsburgh’s important role as a Gateway to the West & a national hub for the steamboat building industry in the mid-19th century.

From Slavery to Freedom.

Highlight’s Pittsburgh’s role in the anti-slavery movement.

Ongoing: Western PA Sports Museum, Clash of Empires, and exhibits on local history, more.

Strip District. 412-454-6000.

SEWICKLEY HEIGHTS HISTORY CENTER. Museum commemorates Pittsburgh industrialists, local history.

Sewickley. 412-741-4487.

SOLDIERS & SAILORS MEMORIAL HALL. War in the Pacific 1941-1945. Feat. a collection of military artifacts showcasing photographs, uniforms, shells & other related items. Military museum dedicated to honoring military service members since the Civil War through artifacts & personal mementos. Oakland.

412-621-4253.

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baseball in Pittsburgh.

Oakland. 412-622-3131.

CHATHAM UNIVERSITY. Culture in Context.

African Art from the Olkes Collection. Shadyside.

412-365-1232.

CHRISTINE FRECHARD GALLERY. Antonio Puri.

Large-scale contemporary pieces. Squirrel Hill.

412-421-8888.

CONSTELLATION COFFEE. Bryan C. Mickle: Recent Watercolors.

Lawrenceville. 814-419-9775.

DV8 ESPRESSO BAR & GALLERY. Greensburg Salem Art Club Juried Art Show. Curated by Gabby Walton, Laura Rosner & Sarah Thomas. Greensburg.

724-219-0804.

ECLECTIC ART & OBJECTS GALLERY. 19th century American & European paintings combined with some of the world’s most talented contemporary artists & their artwork.

The Hidden Collection.

Watercolors by Robert N. Blair (1912- 2003). Hiromi Traditional Japanese Oil Paintings The Lost Artists of the 1893 Chicago Exhibition. Collectors Showcase.

Emsworth. 412-734-2099.

FAIRMONT PITTSBURGH. Magenta POP. Work by Lori Hepner, Ivette Spradlin & Jason Snyder, displayed on bus shelters & sidewalks in Downtown’s Triangle Park, across from the hotel.

Downtown. 412-773-8800.

FRANK L. MELEGA ART MUSEUM. National Road Festival Juried Art Exhibition.

Work by artists from Allegheny, Fayette, Greene, Washington, & Westmoreland Counties.

724-785-9331.

FRICK ART & HISTORICAL CENTER. Permanent collection of European Art. Point Breeze.

412-371-0600.

GALERIE WERNER, THE MANSIONS ON FIFTH. City Scenes: Finding Harmony in Pittsburgh’s Changing Colors. Paintings

by Claire Hardy. Oakland.

412-716-1390.

GALLERIE CHIZ. Nature & the Metaphysical.

Work by Caroline Bagenal & Don Dugal. Shadyside.

412-441-6005.

GALLERY ON 43RD STREET. Observations.

Paintings by Maura Doern Danko. Lawrenceville.

412-683-6488.

GARFIELD ARTWORKS. Pittsburgh Artists Against Fracking. Group exhibit feat. Rick Bach, Gabe Felice, Carolina LoyolaGarcia, Laura Jean McLaughlin, James Simon, more. Benefits Protect Our Parks. By

N E W S

appointment through June 1.

Garfield. 412-361-2262.

GLENN GREENE STAINED GLASS STUDIO INC. Original Glass Art by Glenn Greene. Exhibition of new work, recent work & older work. Regent Square.

412-243-2772.

GREENSBURG ART CENTER. COLOR!!! Juried exhibition feat. regional artists. Greensburg.

724-837-6791.

GREENSBURG GARDEN AND CIVIC CENTER. Ligonier Oak Grove Art Club Exhibit. Greensburg.

724-836-3074.

JAMES GALLERY. Response.

Work by 11 contemporary artists, each w/ a physically unique interpretation of “the constructed” by nature or human. West End. 412-922-9800.

LA PRIMA ESPRESSO. Paintings/Prints of Italy.

Prints of Vince Ornato’s oil paintings of Italy. Strip District. 412-281-1922.

LAKEVUE ATHLETIC CLUB. Pop-Up Gallery.

Work by a variety of artists.

724-316-9326.

MATTRESS FACTORY. Chiharu Shiota: Trace of Memory. Site-specific installation focusing on the body w/ relation to place & space. Ongoing Installations.

Works by Turrell, Lutz, Kusama, Anastasi, Highstein, Wexler & Woodrow.

North Side. 412-231-3169.

MENDELSON GALLERY. 40 Year Love Affair with the Arts. Work by Not Vital, Harry Schwalb, Thaddeus Mosley, Jane Katselas, Rob Rogers, Elaine Morris, Jack Weiss, more.

Shadyside. 412-361-8664.

MERRICK ART GALLERY. Legacies: The Merrick Masters Art Exhibition.

Juried by Carol R. Brode.

New Brighton. 724-846-1130.

MODERNFORMATIONS GALLERY. Death Masked.

Paintings by Stephen Tuomala.

Garfield. 412-362-0274.

MORGAN CONTEMPORARY GLASS GALLERY. teapots!

Work by Ceres Rangos, Rae Gold, Meryl Ruth, Ronit Dagan, more.

Shadyside. 412-441-5200.

MOST-WANTED FINE ART GALLERY. Criminal Damage. A mixed-media project based on street art, & street art themes, showcasing authentic graffiti pieces & ‘inspired’ pieces, photography & instillations. Garfield.

412-328-4737.

PHOTO ANTIQUITIES. The Life & Times of Abraham Lincoln. Photographs following Lincoln’s rise to

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the United States presidency from 1847-1865. North Side.

412-231-7881.

PITTSBURGH CENTER FOR THE ARTS. Artist of the Year/Emerging Artist of the Year. Work by Hyla Willis & Mia Tarducci Henry.

Shadyside. 412-361-0873.

PITTSBURGH GLASS CENTER. Breaking Through: Moving 4ward. Work by Lisa Demagall, Laura Beth Konopinski, Anna Mlasowsky, Nadine Saylor. Friendship.

412-365-2145.

REVISION SPACE. Savage Elements. Work by Nugent Kos. Lawrenceville.

412-728-4916.

SILVER EYE CENTER FOR PHOTOGRAPHY. Here & Now: Queer Geographies in Contemporary Photography.

Group show feat. work of artists embarking on physical & emotional journeys to define & discover queerness across the American landscape.

South Side. 412-431-1810.

SOCIETY FOR CONTEMPORARY CRAFT SATELLITE GALLERY. Penny Mateer: Protest Series. Quilts & fiber pieces inspired by protest songs from the 1960s & current political debates. Downtown.

412-261-7003.

THE SOCIETY FOR CONTEMPORARY CRAFT. Transformation 9: Contemporary Works in Ceramics. Feat. work by 31 artists. Strip District.

412-261-7003.

SPACE. Psychic Panic.

Feat. 25+ artworks by 9 artists working in a range of media. Downtown.

412-456-6666.

SWEETWATER CENTER FOR THE ARTS. Wild Things.

Exhibit feat. 2D, 3D & kinetic artworks. Juried by Cynthia Shaffer. Sewickley.

412-741-4405.

THE TOONSEUM. Golden Legacy: Original Art from 65 Years of Golden Books.

Collection of original illustration art from the Little Golden Books series.

Downtown. 412-232-0199.

UNSMOKE ART SPACE. Terrestrial. Work by Alex Blau, Paul Collins, Rocky Horton, Ron Lambert, Jonathan Rattner, Thomas Sturgill, & Willard Tucker. Braddock.

WOOD STREET GALLERIES. Electrified.

Interactive installations

by Edwin van der Heide & Alexandre Burton.

Downtown. 412-471-5605.

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saints. North Side. 412-323-9504.

ST. NICHOLAS CROATIAN CATHOLIC CHURCH. Maxo Vanka Murals. Mid-20th century murals depicting war, social justice and the immigrant experience in America. Millvale.

421-681-0905.

WEST OVERTON MUSEUMS. Learn about distilling and coke-making in this pre-Civil War industrial village. 724-887-7910.

DANCE THU 29 - SAT 31

ON THE ROX. Performance by fireWALL Dance Theater.

Thu-Sat, 8 p.m. Thru May 31 Off the Wall Theater, Carnegie.

1-888-718-4253.

FRI 30

MAQAM SPECTACULAR BELLYDANCE. Showcase of dance & music from folkloric styles of Egyptian villages, Indian deserts, Moroccan marketplaces, more. 7:30 p.m. Rex Theater, South Side. 412-381-6811.

SAT 31 - SUN 01

CARNEGIE PERFORMING ARTS CENTER STARDUST RECITAL. 8 p.m. and Sun., June 1, 2 p.m. Andrew Carnegie Free Library Music Hall, Carnegie.

412-279-8887.

SUN 01

THE ABBY LEE DANCE

COMPANY’S KICK-OFF TO SUMMER. 7:30 p.m.

Hartwood Acres, Allison Park.

412-767-9200.

FUNDRAISERS THU 29

GUEST BARTENDERS FOR CATHOLIC CHARITIES. Feat.

WDVE’s Randy Baumann & WPXI’s Brandon Hudson.

5:30-7:30 p.m. Rivers Club, Downtown. 412-391-5227.

JUSTICE FOR DOM HAPPY HOUR & BENEFIT PARTY. www.justice4dom.org 6 p.m.

Over the Bar Bicycle Cafe, South Side. 412-381-3698.

FRI 30

MARKET AFTER DARK: A BENEFIT FOR ALS ASSOCIATION WESTERN PENNSYLVANIA CHAPTER. Wine tasting, market vendors, craft workshop, more. 6-8 p.m.

Pittsburgh Public Market, Strip District. 412-427-5500.

WOLFEPACK GOODS ART & ROCK SHOW. Feat. t-shirts, visual art, ceramics, & more for sale by local artists & performance by The Electrocats. Benefits Girls Rock! Pittsburgh. www.wolfe packgoods.com/show 6-9 p.m.

Commonwealth Press, South Side.

SAT 31

W.A.R. (WALK & RIDE) AGAINST HUNGER. Hosted

by UPMC Health Plan & Rainbow Kitchen Community Services. Great Allegheny Passage Trail, Homestead. 9 a.m.

412-464-1892.

SUN 01

BOOK ‘EM BOOKS TO PRISONERS WORK PARTY. Read & code letters, pick books, pack ‘em or database ‘em! Sundays 4-7 p.m. or by appt. Thomas Merton Center, Garfield. 412-361-3022.

RAMBLIN’ GAMBLIN’ MONTE CARLO NIGHT. Benefits McGuire Memorial.

6 p.m. Pittsburgh Airport Marriott, Coraopolis.

724-843-0365.

MON 02

22ND ANNUAL MCGUIRE CELEBRITY GOLF CLASSIC. Benefits McGuire Memorial. 9 a.m.

Treesdale Golf & Country Club, Gibsonia. 724-843-0365.

LITERARY THU 29

ENGLISH LEARNERS’ BOOK CLUB. For advanced ESL students. Presented in cooperation w/ the Greater Pittsburgh Literacy Council.

Thu, 1 p.m. Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon.

412-531-1912.

THE HOUR AFTER HAPPY HOUR WRITER’S WORKSHOP. Young writers & recent graduates looking for additional feedback on their work. thehourafterhappyhour. wordpress.com Thu, 7-9 p.m.

The Big Idea Bookstore & Cafe, Bloomfield. 412-687-4323.

TRUE STORY PARTY: DON’T WORRY, I GOT THIS. Reading of true tales by local story-tellers. 7-9 p.m. East End Book Exchange, Bloomfield.

412-224-2847.

FRI 30

HEAL A HEART TO TOUCH A SOUL POETRY SLAM. Celebrating the legacy of Bernadette Turner. Hosted

by Eric ‘Big Homie’ Fisher & Zenobia Bey. 7 p.m. KellyStrayhorn Theater, East Liberty.

412-363-3000.

MON 02

Sample All Four!

Mellinger Beer Dist.

402 Semple St.-Oakland Fri., 5/30 6-8 PM

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OPEN POETRY WORKSHOP. Presented by the Pittsburgh Poetry Exchange. Those wishing to present a poem for discussion should bring multiple copies. First Mon of every month, 7-10 p.m. Brentwood Library.

412-882-5694.

READING ROUND TABLE. Feat. plays from August Wilson & new works by up & coming playwrights. First Mon of every month, 7 p.m.

August Wilson Center for African American Culture, Downtown.

412-258-2700.

This Sunday, join the Pennsylvania Association for Sustainable Agriculture for its Bike Fresh Bike Local — Allegheny County event.

Chose from one of two routes — 25 or 50 miles — taking you along some of the region’s scenic rural roads. Then enjoy music by the Beagle Brothers and a picnic, with food from Whole Foods and beverages from the North Country Brewing Company. Proceeds support PASA’s work on behalf of local family farms.

7 a.m.-5 p.m. Sat., June 1. Meet at the North Park Skating Rink, Pearce Mill Road, Allison Park. $40-50. 412-365-2985 or www.bikefresh.org

TUE 03

GET YOUR WORKSHOP ON. Creative writing workshop.

Tue, 7-9 p.m. Thru June 24 Biddle’s Escape, Regent Square.

412-999-9009.

JAPANESE CONVERSATION CLUB. First and Third Tue of every month, 6-7 p.m.

Carnegie Library, Oakland.

412-622-3151.

KID’S BOOKS FOR GROWN-UPS BOOKCLUB. First Tue of every month, 10 a.m.

Penguin Bookshop, Sewickley.

412-741-3838.

LET’S SPEAK ENGLISH! Practice conversational English. Tue, 6 p.m.

Carnegie Library, Squirrel Hill.

412-422-9650.

PITTSBURGH CONTINENTAL PHILOSOPHY READING GROUP. Tue, 6 p.m. East End Book Exchange, Bloomfield.

412-224-2847.

WED 04

CARNEGIE KNITS & READS. Informal knitting session. First and Third Wed of every month, 4:30-5:30 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151.

KIDSTUFF THU 29 - FRI 30

MONOTYPE PRINTING. Drag tools through ink to create textures & images, then transfer your composition to paper to create a unique

print. Thru May 30, 10 a.m.4:30 p.m. Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side.

412-322-5058.

THU 29 - WED 04

BACKYARD EXHIBIT. Musical swing set, sandbox, solar-powered instruments, more. Ongoing Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side.

412-322-5058.

SOAR! Free-flight bird show.

Thru Sept. 1, 12 p.m.

National Aviary, North Side.

412-323-7235.

TAKING FLIGHT: AN AERIAL ADVENTURE. Rose garden free-flight bird show w/ live narration & music. Thru Sept. 1, 12 p.m. National Aviary, North Side. 412-323-7235.

XOXO: AN EXHIBIT ABOUT LOVE & FORGIVENESS. Explore love & forgiveness through interactive experiences.

Thru Aug. 31 Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side.

412-322-5058.

FRI 30

CHILDREN’S SUMMER READING PROGRAM KICKOFF & MAGIC SHOW. 7 p.m. Shaler North Hills Library, Glenshaw. 412-486-0211.

FRI 30 - SUN 01

THE 25TH ANNUAL PUTNAM COUNTY SPELLING BEE. Six adolescents compete for the coveted Spelling Bee

Championship. Presented by Playhouse Jr. Fri, 7 p.m., Sat, 2 & 7 p.m. and Sun, 2 p.m. Thru June 8 Pittsburgh Playhouse, Oakland. 412-392-8000.

SAT 31

HAND BUILD W/ CLAY. Sat, 12-2 p.m. Thru May 31 Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058.

MARTY’S MARKET KIDS’ CORNER. Ages 5-11. Sat, 3-5 p.m. Marty’s Market, Strip District. 412-586-7177.

SAT 31 - WED 04

FATHER’S DAY CD CARD MAKING. Audio card workshop w/ the Saturday Light Brigade. May 31-June 15, 1-4 p.m. Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side.

412-322-5058.

SUN 01

AEP RIVER OPERATIONS TOWBOAT TOUR. www.riverworksdiscovery.org 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Gateway Clipper Fleet, Station Square.

412-355-7980.

TUE 03

CHESS CLUB. For students in grades K-7. First Tue of every month, 6:30 p.m. Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon.

412-531-1912.

HOMEWORK HELP. For grades 1-8. Tue, 3:30-5:30 p.m.

Assemble, Garfield.

WED 04

WRITING & ART WITH TESS. Story & craft-time for kids ages 5 & up. First Wed of every month, 10 a.m.

Penguin Bookshop, Sewickley.

412-741-3838.

OUTSIDE FRI 30

WISE WALK. 1-mile walk around Oakland. Fri, 10:30 a.m.

Thru June 6 Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151.

SAT 31

LAUREL HIGHLANDS HIKING TRAIL. 7 Saturday hike of the 70-mile trail. www.ventureoutdoors.org Sat. Thru June 14

GADGET LAB. Learn how to use your eReader, MP3 player, etc.. 2:30 p.m.

Carnegie Library, Downtown.

412-281-7141.

HAUNTED PITTSBURGH MT. WASHINGTON WALKING TOUR. Begins outside of Monongahela Incline on W. Carson St. Sat, 7:30 p.m.

Thru Oct. 25 412-302-5223.

ITALIAN BOOT CAMP. Advanced students will engage in debates, conversations, more. Sat, 11:15 a.m. Thru June 21 Wilkins School Community Center, Swissvale.

412-478-2681.

KOREAN FOR BEGINNERS. Sat, 1-2:30 p.m. Thru Aug. 30 Carnegie Library, Oakland.

AFRICAN DANCE 412-622-3151.

CLASS. Second and KOREAN II. For Third Fri of every month those who already and Fourth and Last Fri have a basic of every month Irma understanding www. per pa Freeman Center for of Korean & are pghcitym .co Imagination, Garfield. interested in 412-924-0634. increasing proficiency.

COMMUNITY WOODCUT Sat, 11 a.m.-12:30 p.m.

OPEN HOUSE. 4-7 p.m.

Thru Aug. 30 Carnegie Library, Tugboat Print Shop, Oakland. 412-622-3151.

Lawrenceville. 412-621-0663.

LADIES WHO NETWORK FRIDAY NIGHT CONTRA BUISNESS NETWORKING DANCE. Fri, 8 p.m. Swisshelm Park MIXER. 3 p.m. St. James Community Center, Swissvale.

Episcopal Church, Penn Hills.

412-945-0554.

LGBT ESTATE & RETIREMENT INTUITIVE EYE READINGS PLANNING WORKSHOP.

BY SHAY. Fri, 7 p.m. Thru 9:30 a.m. Wyndham Pittsburgh June 27 Dobra Tea, Squirrel Hill.

University Center, Oakland.

323-839-6866.

412-521-2732.

OUT OF THE BOX: TIME PSYCHIC FAIR. Last Sat of CAPSULE OPENING. Take every month, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. a first look inside one of Chapel of Oneness, Warhol’s unopened boxes w/ West Mifflin. 412-770-4961.

Cataloguer Erin Byrne, Chief SATURDAY NIGHT SALSA Archivist Matt Wrbican, Assistant CRAZE. Free lessons, followed Archivist Cindy Lisica & special by dancing. Sat, 10 p.m. guest Benjamin Liu. 7 p.m. Andy La Cucina Flegrea, Downtown.

Warhol Museum, North Side.

412-708-8844.

412-237-8300.

SCOTTISH COUNTRY SQUIRREL HILL ACTIVE DANCING. Lessons 7-8 p.m., SENIORS NETWORK. Meetup to social dancing follows. help seniors get & stay involved No partner needed. Mon, in social & civic activities. Fri, 7 p.m. and Sat, 7 p.m.

3-4 p.m. Carnegie Library, Grace Episcopal Church, Squirrel Hill. 412-242-8603.

Mt. Washington. 412-683-5670.

SOUTH HILLS SCRABBLE CLUB. Free Scrabble games, all levels. Sat, 1-3 p.m. Mount HAUNTED PITTSBURGH Lebanon Public Library, DOWNTOWN WALKING Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912.

TOUR. Fri, Sat, 7 p.m. Thru SPANISH CONVERSATION Oct. 25 City-County Building, GROUP. Friendly, informal.

Downtown. 412-302-5223.

At the Starbucks inside Target.

Sat, 3:30-5:30 p.m. Target, East Liberty. 412-362-6108.

BEAUTIFUL INSIDE & SWING CITY. Learn & practice OUT HAIR SHOW. Presented swing dancing skills. Sat, 8 p.m.

by Mimi’s Hair to Serve. 5-8 p.m.

Wightman School, Squirrel Hill.

Kelly-Strayhorn Theater, East 412-759-1569.

Liberty. 412-363-3000.

BEGINNING TAI CHI CLASSES. Sat, 9-10 a.m. Thru June 28 Friends Meeting House, Oakland.

FLY FISHING LESSONS. 412-362-9880.

Sat, Sun, 9-11 a.m. Thru June 14 FIG TREE CLASSES. Orvis Retail Store, Mt. Lebanon.

Hands-on workshop. Part of 412-343-1612. the Italian Garden Project. www. theitaliangardenproject.com 10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m., Sat., 3RD ANNIVERSARY PARTY & June 28, 10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m.

PET VENDOR FAIR. Venders, and Sat., July 19, 10:30 a.m.pet-friendly activities, more.

12:30 p.m. Earthen Vessels 12-4 p.m. Petagogy, Shadyside.

Outreach, Bloomfield.

412-362-7387. centuries. Porter Hall, Room A18A. Thu, 8 p.m. Carnegie Mellon University, Oakland.

412-567-7512.

SPIRITS MOVING. Breath & movement prayers & play, for mind-body-spirit wellness.

Thu, 7-8 p.m. Thru July 31 South Side Presbyterian Church, South Side. 412-431-0118.

WEEKLY WELLNESS CIRCLE. Group acupuncture & guided meditation for stress-relief. Thu DeMasi Wellness, Aspinwall.

412-927-4768.

WEST COAST SWING. Swing dance lessons for all levels. Thu, 7 p.m. Pittsburgh Dance Center, Bloomfield. 412-681-0111.

FRI 30

SUN 01

BIKE FRESH, BIKE LOCAL ALLEGHENY COUNTY. 25-mile or 50-mile rural bike ride followed by picnic lunch.

Presented by the Pennsylvania Association for Sustainable Agriculture. 7 a.m.-5 p.m. North Park Ice Skating Rink, Allison Park.

412-365-2985.

THE CITY SPREE. A city-wide race without a course. www.cityspreerace.com 8 a.m.

TUE 03

SURVIVAL BASICS. Tue, 3-4:30 p.m. Schenley Park, Oakland. 412-477-4677.

WED 04

WEDNESDAY MORNING WALK. Naturalist-led, rain or shine. Wed Beechwood Farms, Fox Chapel.

412-963-6100.

OTHER STUFF THU 29

ADVANCED ITALIAN CONVERSATION. Thu, 10 a.m. Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon.

412-531-1912.

CONVERSATIONAL CHINESE & CHINESE CULTURE. Thu, 7 p.m. Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon.

412-531-1912.

INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S ASSOCIATION OF PITTSBURGH. Social, cultural club of American/ international women. Thu First Baptist Church, Oakland. iwap. pittsburgh@gmail.com.

LUNCH & LEARN: RAISING ADAM LANZA. 12:15 p.m.

Carnegie Library, Downtown.

412-281-7141.

QUEER VIDEO VAULT FILM SCREENING. Screening of High Art & The Ballad of Sexual Dependence. Part of the Here & Now: Queer Geographies in Contemporary Photography exhibit. 7 p.m.

Silver Eye Center for Photography, South Side. 412-431-1810.

RENAISSANCE DANCE GUILD. Learn a variety of dances from the 15-17th

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AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL HUMAN RIGHTS CAFE. Weekly letter writing event. Sun, 4-6 p.m. Panera Bread, Oakland.

412-683-3727.

ARGENTINE TANGO CLASSES. www.pittsburghtangueros.org 5-6 p.m. and Sun, 5-6 p.m.

Thru June 22 Wilkins School Community Center, Swissvale.

412-244-8458.

CHINESE II. First and Third Sun of every month, 2-3 p.m.

Carnegie Library, Oakland.

412-622-3151.

FATHER CHARLIE’S ANGELS WORLD PREMIERE. Film screening w/ live performances by Lita D’Vargas, Janet Granite, The Mad Muse, Nomi Darling, Just Jingles, Smokin’ McQueen, Phat Man Dee. 9 p.m. Brillobox, Bloomfield.

412-621-4900.

HISTORY OF FASHION SHOW. Show highlighting fashions throughout America’s history, from the 18th century to the present. 1:30-4 p.m. Rizzo’s Malabar Inn, Greensburg.

724-532-1935 x 215.

TWO TRADITIONS OF CHINA: TEA & TAI CHI. w/ Gurney Bolster. Call to register.

2:30 p.m. Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon.

412-531-1912 x 209.

VERONA’S CREATIVE MARKETPLACE. Arts & crafts vendors, live music, more. www.veronaborough.com 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Verona Borough Building, Verona.

412-828-8080.

WISHCRAFT: HOW TO GET WHAT YOU REALLY WANT. Support group for life goals.

Sun, 1-2 p.m. Carnegie Library, Squirrel Hill. 412-371-1707.

BOARD GAME NIGHT. For high school students & adults. Every other Tue, 7 p.m.

Thru June 17 Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon.

412-531-1912.

CAPOEIRA ANGOLA. Tue, 6:30-8 p.m. Irma Freeman Center for Imagination, Garfield.

412-924-0634.

DRAG QUEEN TRIVIA NIGHT. First Tue of every month Eclipse Lounge, Lawrenceville.

412-251-0097.

INNOVATION FORUM: THE POWER OF ADJACENCY: GROWTH STRATEGIES IN YOUR BACKYARD. www.pdma. org/p/cm/ld/fid=1196 4-6:30 p.m.

Courtyard Marriott Shadyside.

412-683-3113.

MT. LEBANON CONVERSATION SALON. Discuss current events w/ friends & neighbors. For seniors. First Tue of every month, 10 a.m. Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon.

412-531-1912.

WSET LEVEL 2 CLASS IN WINES & SPIRITS. Tue, 6-8 p.m. Thru July 1 Dreadnought Wines, Strip District.

412-391-1709.

CONTINUES ON PG. 46

REAL PEOPLE REAL DESIRE REAL FUN

COFFEE WITH THE CURATOR: SMALL PRINTS, BIG ARTISTS: MASTERPIECES FROM THE RENAISSANCE TO BAROQUE. w/ Linda Batis. 10:30 a.m.12:45 p.m. Carnegie Museum of Art, Oakland. 412-622-3131.

MORNING SPANISH LITERATURE & CONVERSATION. Mon, 10 a.m. Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon.

412-531-1912.

RUSSIAN FOR BEGINNERS. First and Third Mon of every month, 6:30-7:30 p.m.

Carnegie Library, Oakland.

412-622-3151.

SAHAJA MEDITATION. Mon, 7:30 p.m. Thru Aug. 25 Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912.

SCOTTISH COUNTRY DANCING. Lessons 7-8 p.m., social dancing follows. No partner needed. Mon, 7 p.m. and Sat, 7 p.m. Grace Episcopal Church, Mt. Washington.

412-683-5670.

SLOVAK HERITAGE: THE CZECHOSLOVAK ROOM. w/ Joe Bielecki. 7 p.m. Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912.

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Seniors only. 2 p.m. Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912.

DETROIT STYLE URBAN BALLROOM DANCE. 3rd floor. Wed, 6:30-8 p.m.

Hosanna House, Wilkinsburg.

412-242-4345.

ENGLISH CONVERSATION (ESL). Wed, 10 a.m.

Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912.

FARMERS AT PHIPPS. Farmers’ market. Wed, 2:30-6:30 p.m. Thru Oct. 29 Phipps Conservatory & Botanical Garden, Oakland.

412-622-6914.

FRANCOPHONE LITERATURE & CULTURE. 10 a.m.

Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912.

LET’S SPEAK ENGLISH! Practice conversational English.

Wed, 5-6 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151.

MARKETING & BEYOND: SETTING YOUR STRATEGY APART FROM THE RES. Entrepreneurial Fellows Program 12 p.m. Rivers Club, Downtown. 412-648-1544.

PGC LECTURE SERIES: BOYD SUGIKI, LISA ZERKOWITZ, ROGER

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SPELLING BEE WITH DAVE AND KUMAR. Mon Lava Lounge, South Side. 412-431-5282.

CHATLINE TM

412.566.1861 Try for FREE

Ahora en Español

For More Local Numbers: 1.800.926.6000

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BIG LIST, CONTINUED FROM PG. 45

HEAVY DRINKERS NEEDED F OR BR A IN I M AG I N G S T U D IES The University of Pittsburgh Departments of Radiology and Psychiatry are seeking MEN AND WOMEN FROM 18–55 YEARS OF AGE for brain imaging research studies who currently have or have had a problem with ALCOHOL. • The study involves questionnaires, interviews, and brain scanning. The brain scanning includes 1 Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI), and 1 Positron Emission Tomography (PET) scan.

• The research study will take place at UPMC Presbyterian hospital. The study will be conducted over a period of two weeks.

Payment up to $1,100 for participation upon completion.

For details, call 412-586-9633, or contact by email at PMIPstudy@gmail.com, or visit www.addictionstudies.pitt.edu.

PARRAMORE, JIM WEILER. 6 p.m. Pittsburgh Glass Center, Friendship. 412-365-2145.

THE PITTSBURGH SHOW OFFS. A meeting of jugglers & spinners. All levels welcome.

Wed, 7:30 p.m. Union Project, Highland Park. 412-363-4550.

SPANISH II. Geared toward those who already have a basic understanding of Spanish & are interested in increasing proficiency. First and Third Wed of every month, 6:30-7:30 p.m.

Carnegie Library, Oakland.

412-622-3151.

TAROT CARD LESSONS. Wed, 7 p.m. Dobra Tea, Squirrel Hill.

412-449-9833.

TEA CLASS & TASTING. History of tea, steeping techniques, Storing Tea, Health Benefits, more. Tea samples & European cookies will be served. First Wed of every month, 7 p.m. Margaret’s Fine Imports, Squirrel Hill.

412-422-1606.

URBAN HOMESTEADING SERIES: BREWING BEER AT HOME. 7 p.m.

Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon.

412-531-1912.

WEST COAST SWING WEDNESDAYS. Swing dance lessons. Wed, 9 p.m.

The Library, South Side.

916-287-1373.

YMCA LIGHTHOUSE END OF THE YEAR CELEBRATION. Performances & presentations by the Lighthouse youth. 5:30 p.m.

Kelly-Strayhorn Theater, East Liberty. 412-363-3000.

AUDITIONS DAY ROOM WINDOW.

Presbyterian Church, Oakland.

724-263-5259.

MCCAFFERY MYSTERIES. Ongoing auditions for actors ages 18+ for murder mystery shows performed in the Pittsburgh area.

412-833-5056.

PITTSBURGH SAVOYARDS. Auditions for Gilbert & Sullivan’s The Sorcerer. June 4 & 23.

Prepare a song that best showcases your voice, either Gilbert & Sullivan (preferred), standard musical theater, or classical. Accompanist will be provided, no a capella selections. auditions@pittsburghsavoyards. org Our Lady of Victory Maronite Catholic Church, Carnegie.

412-734-8476.

[VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITY]

HOMEWOOD HEALTH MATTERS 5K AND HEALTHY EATING EXPO

Local nonprofit The Homewood Children’s Village and youth sports organization Homewood Community Sports are seeking volunteers for the Homewood Health Matters 5K and Healthy Eating Expo, happening June 7 at Stargell Field. Tasks include set-up, helping with race packet pickup, and greeting runners at the finish line. Email kburry@ hcvpgh.org or visit www.homewoodchildrensvillage.org.

ROBERT MORRIS UNIVERSITY COLONIAL THEATRE. Auditions for Damn Yankees. May 28-29.

Prepare 32 bars of a musical theater song (be sure to bring piano music) & come ready to do some movement. Robert Morris University, Moon. 724-466-2204.

STYLE WEEK PITTSBURGH. Open model call for women & men of all ethnicities, ages 21+.

Professional runway &/or modeling experience is a plus, but not a requirement. RSVP by emailing your name, measurements, & (1) www. per a p photo to styleweekpgh pghcitym .co @gmail.com. The Alloy Studios, Friendship.

412-363-4321.

Auditions for Day Room Window. June 24, 5:30-9:30 p.m. Call backs the following evening.

Multiracial cast.

Women ages 35-55.

Men ages 35-60.

Prepare 2 minute dramatic contemporary monologue. Bring head shot & resume.

Equity & Non-Equity actors welcome. Schedule audition w/ Kathryn Kelly at kskelly412@gmail.com.

More info at www.dayroom window.com New Hazlett Theater, North Side.

HOPE ACADEMY TEEN THEATER COMPANY. Open auditions for the 2014-15 season. June 7.

Seeking committed singers, dancers, actors & musicians in grades 6-12. Prepare 1-min poem or monologue & perform a song of your choice. cathedralofhope.org/event/ hat-co-auditions/ East Liberty Presbyterian Church, East Liberty.

412-441-3800 x 11.

JUNIOR MENDELSSOHN CHOIR. Auditions for the 2014 session. May 29. Call for more information. Third

FULL LIST ONLINE

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 05.28/06.04.2014

For more information, email thedapcoopzumba@hotmail.com.

412-403-7357.

THE HOUR AFTER HAPPY HOUR REVIEW. Seeking submissions in all genres for fledgling literary magazine curated by members of the Hour After Happy Hour Writing Workshop. afterhappyhourreview.com.

INDEPENDENT FILM NIGHT. Submit your film, 10 minutes or less. Screenings held on the second Thursday of every month.

DV8 Espresso Bar & Gallery, Greensburg. 724-219-0804.

JEAN TOOMER LITERARY PRIZE FOR SHORT FICTION. Open to new, emerging & established writers. No theme restriction.

SUBMISSIONS ART IN ACTION. Seeking artists for a one-day interactive art show on June 1. More information & application at www.artinaction-hf. com. 724-413-4648.

BLAST FURNACE. Seeking poems for Blast Furnace’s 1st annual poetry chapbook competition.

Submit one manuscript. No manuscripts permitted by current Chatham University staff, alum, or students, by Blast Furnace guest reviewers, by poets who have previously been published in his/ her own chapbook. Visit https:// blastfurnace.submittable.com/ submit for submission guidelines.

Deadline: June 2.

THE DAP CO-OP. Seeking performers & artists to participate in First Fridays - Art in a Box.

Submit one original, unpublished work, 10 pages max. cathleenbailey.weebly.com/ jean-toomer-literary-prize-forshort-fiction.html MIDLAND ARTS COUNCIL. Seeking artwork in any 2D medium for the 9th Annual Midland Arts Council Show.

Carry-in art deadline is June 8, online. midland-arts-council-pa. com 724-643-9968.

THE NEW YINZER. Seeking original essays about literature, music, TV or film, & also essays generally about Pittsburgh. For examples, visit www.newyinzer. com & view the current issue.

Email all pitches, submissions & inquiries to newyinzer@gmail.com.

THE PITTSBURGH WATERCOLOR SOCIETY. Seeking entries for 68th Annual International Aqueous Open exhibition. http://www. pittsburghwatercolorsociety.com THE POET BAND COMPANY. Seeking various types of poetry. wewuvpoetry@hotmail.com SHALER GARDEN CLUB GREAT LOCAL GARDENER CONTEST. All types of gardens will be considered. Submit 5 photos of your garden w/ description of what makes it special.

Registration forms available at Shaler North Hills Library.

Deadline: July 8. Shaler North Hills Library, Glenshaw. 412-486-0211.

VERONA CREATIVE MARKETPLACE. Seeking vendors for marketplace in June.

Space is limited. Call for more information. 412-721-0943.

Where the Magazine Comes to Life!

CURRENTLY SEEKING ENTERTAINERS TO BE

KEY GIRLS 412.904.3191 1620 PENNSYLVANIA AVE. 5 blocks from Casino - Off of Beaver Ave. “The Penthouse Club” and 3-Key logo are registered trademarksof General Media Communications, Inc., and are used under license.

WATCH THE BASEBALL GAMES HERE! N E W S

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Dan Savage's

TOUR

WORLD’S BEST AMATEUR DIRTY MOVIE FESTIVAL!

JUNE 13 7PM & 9:30PM JUNE 14 5PM, 7PM, & 9PM

THE HOLLYWOOD THEATER TICKETS AVAILABLE NOW! ONLY AT WWW.HUMPTOUR.COM 48

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 05.28/06.04.2014

Savage Love {BY DAN SAVAGE}

I’m a straight guy. Last month, I was in the locker room at my gym at 4 a.m. I was getting ready to leave, when I noticed someone exiting the showers. He caught me looking (he was very well endowed), and I quickly turned my head, embarrassed. About 20 seconds later, he came around the corner and said, “Hey, how ya doin’?” He was still naked, and it was obvious that he was wondering if I wanted to try something. (He was 10 or 11 inches now!) I didn’t know what to think, so I got the hell out of there. I’ve never been with a guy, but for the past few weeks, I can’t stop thinking about it. I kinda wish I hadn’t left so fast. I guess I’m turned on by the size, and curious about maybe trying oral? That’s all I’m curious about, nothing else. I am way more attracted to girls, but I can’t shake these thoughts.

PANIC AT THE DICK, SO?

bring myself to come out to her.

ANXIOUSLY FEARING REPULSIVE AND IRRATIONAL DIATRIBES

My advice is the same for all queer kids with hyperconservative parents: Don’t fear their rejection — make them fear yours. Tell your mom you’re queer, AFRAID, and tell her that you won’t speak to her or see her if she can’t treat you and your partner with respect. The only leverage an adult child has over her parents is her presence. If your mom treats you like shit, absent yourself. If she’s rude to you in your own home, kick her ass out. You’re a grown woman: It’s time to stop being scared of mommy.

My boyfriend and I have a great relationship and in general, we have great sex. But both of us have things we like to do that the other is not a big fan of. I enjoy being the bottom, but I like to top as well. My partner, who does not particularly enjoy bottoming, is turned on by the idea of me being submissive. Both of us are GGG and willing to explore these things.

But is it OK to put limits on how often this happens?

How do we compromise, keep it fun and keep our GGG status intact?

MY ADVICE IS THE SAME FOR ALL QUEER KIDS WITH HYPERCONSERVATIVE PARENTS: DON’T FEAR THEIR REJECTION — MAKE THEM FEAR YOURS

I was wondering what happened to Joey from Friends.

You’re clearly straight enough to continue identifying as straight. But as you learned in that locker room, to get yourself to straight, you have to round yourself down the tiniest bit. (Or round yourself up: Depends on how you feel about straight.)

But you are now aware that you’re curious about dick, and given the right circumstances (oral only) and the right dick (big), you could hit/suck/ stroke that.

You didn’t miss your only opportunity to explore your desires. There are other giant dicks out there. Hell, you might get another chance at that particular dick. The next time an opportunity presents itself — whether you leave that opportunity to chance (another encounter with Mr. Ten or Eleven Inches N ow) or create your own (taking out a few NSA sex ads) — put your limited interests (oral only) and even more limited experience (none) on the table and let the dude decide if he’s in (your mouth).

I can orgasm without stimulating my clitoris — but only through anal sex.

What gives?

A NOSY ADMIRING LASS

The Lord giveth, AN AL, and He gave you an amazing superpower. I wouldn’t question it too much, lest the Lord peg you for an ingrate and taketh away.

I’m a 25-year-old lesbian, and I live with my partner of two years. My family is coming to visit from Texas, where they are part of a hyperconservative church. I’m not out to my mom. While I want this to be a happy occasion, I’m not willing to hide who I am in my own home. I’m considering asking my sister to out me to my mom so that maybe she’ll be done screaming and yelling by the time she arrives. I know this is chickenshit, but I can’t

QUID PRO QUO

What I’m about to propose may seem elaborate, but bear this in mind: Marijuana is legal where I live.

Take the average number of times you two have sex in a month. Divide that number in half, then divide it in half again. You each get a stack of red poker chips equal to the third number, plus one blue poker chip. So let’s say you guys have sex 12 times a month on average. Half of 12 is six, half of six is three — you each get four chips: three red, one blue. (Still with me? Good.

I could use some chips right now myself.) On nights when you want to top your boyfriend, you hand him one of your red chips. On nights when he wants you to be submissive, he hands you one of his red chips. If he doesn’t want to bottom for you, he can veto your red chip by surrendering one of his. Likewise, you can veto one of his red chips by surrendering one of yours. When a veto is played, you default to the sex you have most of the time, and the chip used to veto is forfeit. An unused chip doesn’t carry over to the next month.

Basically, you don’t have to be submissive when you’re not feeling it, and he doesn’t have to bottom when he’s not feeling it. But if you never agree to submit, you never get to top him.

If he never agrees to bottom, he never gets to dominate you.

What’s the blue chip for? It’s a “free veto” you can sacrifice without giving up a chance to fuck or dominate the other.

So there you go! With the help of legal marijuana, I’ve turned your compromise into a sexy game. Have fun!

Tune in, log on, hear the music that matters to you. wyep.org

On the Lovecast: Premature ejaculation — what can be done? At savagelovecast.com.

SEND IN YOUR QUESTIONS TO MAIL@SAVAGELOVE.NET AND FIND THE SAVAGE LOVECAST (DAN’S WEEKLY PODCAST) AT THESTRANGER.COM/SAVAGE

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FOR THE WEEK OF

Free Will Astrology

05.28-06.04

{BY ROB BREZSNY}

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I suspect that some night soon you will have a dream of being naked as you stand on stage in front of a big audience. Or maybe not completely naked.

There’s a strong possibility you will be wearing pink-and-green striped socks and a gold crown. And it gets worse. In your dream, I bet you will forget what you were going to say to the expectant crowd. Your mouth will be moving but no words will come out. So that’s the bad news, Gemini. The good news is that since I have forewarned you, you can now do whatever is necessary to prevent anything resembling this dream from actually occurring in your waking life. So when you are called on to show what you’ve got and make a splashy impression, you will be well prepared.

CANCER (June 21-July 22):

When I slip into a meditative state and seek insight about your future, I have a reverie about a hearty sapling growing out of a fallen tree that’s rotting on the forest floor. I see exuberant mushrooms sprouting from a cowpie in a pasture. I imagine compost nourishing a watermelon patch.

So what do my visions mean? I’m guessing you’re going through a phase of metaphorical death and decay. You are shedding and purging and flushing. In the process, you are preparing some top-notch fertilizer. It won’t be ready for a while, but when it is, a growth spurt will begin.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22):

“Dear Diary: Almost everything that was possible to change has changed these past 12 months. I am not kidding and I am not exaggerating. Getting just one of my certainties destroyed would have been acceptable; I long ago became accustomed to the gradual chip-chip-chipping away of my secure foundations. But this most recent phase, when even my pretty illusions of stability got smashed, truly set a record. So then why am I still standing strong and proud? Why is it I’m not cowering in the corner muttering to the spiders? Have I somehow found some new source of power that was never available to me until my defenses were totally stripped away? I think I’ll go with that theory.”

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):

About 32,000 years ago, squirrels in northeast Siberia buried the fruits of a flowering plant deep in their burrows, below the level of the permafrost. Then a flood swept through the area. The water froze and permanently sealed the fruits in a layer of ice. They remained preserved there until 2007, when they were excavated. A team of scientists got a hold of them and coaxed them to grow into viable plants. Their success has a metaphorical resemblance to a project you will be capable of pulling off during the next 12 months, Virgo. I’m not sure what exact form it will take. A resuscitation? A resurrection?

A recovery? The revival of a dormant dream?

The thawing of a frozen asset or the return of a lost resource?

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):

For German physicist Arnold Sommerfeld, the good news was that he was nominated for the N obel Prize 81 times. The bad news is that he never actually won. Actor Richard Burton had a similar fate. He was nominated for an Academy Award seven times, but never took home an Oscar. If there is anything that even vaguely resembles that pattern in your own life, Libra, the next 12 months will be the most favorable time ever to break the spell. In the next few weeks, you may get a glimpse of how it will unfold.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):

“I should have kissed you longer.” I hope you won’t be replaying that thought over and over again in your imagination three weeks from now.

I hope you won’t be obsessing on similar mantras, either, like “I should have treated you better” or “I wish I would have listened to you deeper” or “I should have tried harder to be my best self with you.” Please don’t let any of that happen, Scorpio. I am begging you to act now to make any necessary changes in yourself so that you will be fully ready to give the important people in your life the care they deserve. If you do so, you will be free of regrets later.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):

“Longing, what is that? Desire, what is that?”

Those are questions Louise Gluck asks in her poem “Prism.” Does she really not know? Has she somehow become innocent again, free from all her memories of what longing and desire have meant to her in the past? That’s what I wish for you right now, Sagittarius. Can you do it? Can you enter into beginner’s mind and feel your longing and desire as if they were brand new, just born, as fresh and primal as they were at the moment you fell in love for the first time? If you can manage it, you will bestow upon yourself a big blessing.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):

Now is an excellent time to transform your relationship with your past. Are you up for a concentrated burst of psychospiritual work? To get the party started, meditate your ass off as you ponder this question: “What fossilized fixations, ancient insults, impossible dreams and parasitic ghosts am I ready to let go of?” Next, move on to this inquiry: “What can I do to ensure that relaxed, amused acceptance will rule my encounters with the old ways forever after?” Here’s a third query: “What will I do with all the energy I free up by releasing the deadweight I had been clinging to?”

ARIES (March 21-April 19):

“When I was young,” wrote French author Albert Camus, “I expected people to give me more than they could — continuous friendship, permanent emotion.” That didn’t work out so well for him. Over and over, he was awash in disappointment. “Now I have learned to expect less of them than they can give,” he concluded. “Their emotions, their friendship and noble gestures keep their full miraculous

value in my eyes; wholly the fruit of grace.” I’d love to see you make an adjustment like this in the coming months, Aries. If you do, the astrological omens suggest you will experience a blessing like Camus’.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20):

Some earthquakes happen in slow-motion. These rare events occur 22 to 34 miles down, where tectonic plates are hotter and gooier. Unlike the sudden, shocking jolts of typical temblors, this gradual variety can take many days to uncoil and never send dishes flying off shelves up here on the earth’s surface. I suspect your destiny will have a resemblance to this phenomenon in the coming months, Taurus. Your foundations will be rustling and rumbling, but they will do so slowly and gently. The release of energy will ultimately be quite massive.

The realignment of deep structures will be epic.

But there will be no big disturbances or damages.

I dare you to give a compliment to someone you’ve never praised before. Tell me about it at Freewillastrology.com.

get your yoga on!

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):

You could really benefit from engaging with a compassionate critic — someone who would gently and lovingly invite you to curb your excesses, heal your ignorance and correct your mistakes.

Would you consider going out in search of a kickass guide like that? Ideally, this person would also motivate you to build up your strengths and inspire you to take better care of your body. One way or another, Capricorn, curative feedback will be coming your way. The question is, will you have a hand in choosing it, or will you wait around passively for fate to deliver it? I highly recommend the former.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):

N ow would be an excellent time for you to dream up five new ways to have fun. I’m not suggesting there’s anything wrong with your existing methods. It’s just that in the next few weeks, life will conspire to help you drop some of your inhibitions and play around more than usual and experience greater pleasure. The best way to cooperate with that conspiracy is to be an explorer on the frontiers of amusement and enchantment. What’s the most exciting thing you have always wondered about but never done? What interesting experiment have you denied yourself for no good reason?

What excursion or adventure would light up your spontaneity?

GO TO REALASTROLOGY.COM TO CHECK OUT ROB BREZSNY’S EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES AND DAILY TEXT-MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. THE AUDIO HOROSCOPES ARE ALSO AVAILABLE BY PHONE AT 1-877-873-4888 OR 1-900-950-7700

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STUDIES

STUDIES

Wellness is a state that combines health & happiness. Make City Paper readers happy by advertising your health services in our “Wellness” section.

FOR INFORMATION ON HOW TO PLACE A CLASSIFIEDS ADVERTISEMENT, CALL 412-316-3342 EXT. 189

UTERINE FIBROIDS? CALL TODAY!

412.363.1900 CTRS STUDIES

WORK

CONSTIPATION OR DIARRHEA?

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WORK

52 PAGE

STUDIES

52 PAGE

SERVICES

53 PAGE

LIVE

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HELP WANTED

HELP WANTED

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Also opportunity to earn up to $1,000 monthly. 1-800-492-4437

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Women wanted for photo figure modeling. Good pay, same day.

HELP WANTED Africa, Brazil Work/Study!

Change the lives of others while creating a sustainable future. 6, 9, 18 month programs available. Apply today! www.OneWorldCenter.org (269) 591-0518 info@OneWorldCenter.org (AAN CAN)

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DISCLAIMER: ALTHOUGH MOST ADVERTISING IN PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER ARE LEGITIMATE BUSINESSES, PRIOR TO INVESTING MONEY OR USING A SERVICE LOCATED WITHIN ANY SECTION OF THE CLASSIFIEDS WE SUGGEST THE FOLLOWING PROCEDURE: ASK FOR REFERENCES & BUSINESS LICENSE NUMBER, OR CALL/WRITE: THE BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU AT 412-456-2700 / 300 SIXTH AVE., STE 100-UL / PITTSBURGH, PA 15222. REMEMBER: IF IT SOUNDS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, IT USUALLY IS!

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Models: 724-553-9766 leave message

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 05.28/06.04.2014

The Center for Family Planning Research is conducting a research study to better understand the effects of birth control on the immune system.

You may be eligible if you are: *18-34 with regular periods *Healthy *Not currently pregnant or breastfeeding *Not currently using birth control

412.316.3342

For more information call: 412-641-5496

Participants may receive birth control at no cost and be compensated up to $470, over 3 to 4 office visits.

Your ad could be here

HELP WANTED COUPON CLIPPERS NEEDED! Trade extra grocery coupons for $$$$$. All national brands requested. Free details. Please visit www.cashforcashoffs. com (AAN CAN)

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WELLNESS

www.healthnutrition pittsburgh.com

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• Competitive pay • Health Insurance Plans Available • Paid Orientation and Training • Paid Weekly • Driver referral incentive pay *Some Restrictions Apply • And so much more!

We require Class A or B CDL, 1-2 years recent, verifiable tractor-trailer experience, Tank & Hazmat endorsements (or ability to obtain) and a safe driving record.

800-871-4581 TheKAG.com Kenan Advantage Group is an Equal Opportunity Employer.

GENERAL FOR SALE

PITTBURGH CITYPAPER

Advertise your GOODS in City Paper and reach over 300,000 readers per month.

Now that’s SERVICE!

CONDOS FOR RENT

GENERAL FOR SALE

Lux. condo in the heart of Market Square

NAMASTE! Find a healthy balance of the mind, body and spirit with one of our massage therapists, yoga, or spa businesses!

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LIVE REAL ESTATE SERVICES

STORAGE

ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps.

Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http://www.Roommates. com. (AAN CAN)

ABC SELF STORAGE 25 x 60 storage or workspace $500 plus taxes, 12.5x40 $250 plus taxes.

(2) locations: Mckees Rocks & South Side.

412-403-6069

1BR, 1.5BA, Stainless steel range, refrige, micro, & d/w. W/D, disp, n/p, n/s. Exercise rm. rooftop terrace, stor, sec ent. w/doorman. $1,875/mo.

Call Frank at 412-726-7519 frankferra@verizon. net

BUY and SELL your HOME all in the Same Place!

Advertise here in the “LIVE” section of the City Paper

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OFFICIAL ADVERTISEMENT THE BOARD OF PUBLIC EDUCATION OF THE SCHOOL DISTRICT OF PITTSBURGH

SERVICES

CLASSES

ADOPTION

AUTO SERVICES

PREGNANT? THINKING OF ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families Nationwide.

LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions. 866-4136293. Void in Illinois/New Mexico/Indiana (AAN CAN)

CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid.

We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888420-3808 www.cash4car. com (AAN CAN)

CLASSES

ADOPTION

AUTO SERVICE

Looking to hire a qualified employee?

Don’t waste time, call 412.316.3342 to place an Employment Classified ad in Pittsburgh City Paper.

ADOPTION Adoring Family, Loving Attorney, Beautiful Home yearns for 1st baby to LOVE & Cherish forever.

Rent -A- Bay

AIRLINE CAREERS begin here – Get trained as FAA certified Aviation Technician. Financial aid for qualified students. Housing and job placement assistance. Call Aviation Institute of Maintenance 800-725-1563 (AAN CAN)

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Expenses Paid Rose 1-800-561-9323

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for DYI Auto Mechanic Lift and Compressor

412-403-6069

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E V E N T S

Sealed proposals shall be deposited at the Administration Building, Room 251, 341 South Bellefield Avenue, Pittsburgh, Pa., 15213, on June 3, 2014, until 2:00 P.M., local prevailing time for: • Clayton Academy 1901 Clayton Avenue, Pgh, PA 15214 Installation of Security System Electrical Prime Project Manual and Drawings will be available for purchase on May 19, 2014 at Modern Reproductions (412-488-7700) 127 McKean Street, Pittsburgh, Pa., 15219 between 9:00 A.M. and 4:00 P.M. The cost of the Project Manual Documents is nonrefundable. Project details and dates are described in each project manual.

We are an equal rights and opportunity school district.

Parent Hotline: 412-622-7920 www.pps.k12.pa.us

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MASSAGE

MASSAGE

China Massage

Aming’s Massage Therapy

$60/hr FREE Table Shower 1788 Golden Mile Hwy Monroeville, PA 15146 (Next to PNC Bank) Call for more information

724-519-7896 MASSAGE

massage

WELLNESS

Therapy

BAD BACK OR NECK PAIN? Trigger point Deep tissue Swedish Reflexology

BLOOMFIELD 412.683.2328 MASSAGE

MASSAGE

Wellness is a state that combines health & happiness. Make City Paper readers happy by advertising your health services in our “Wellness” section.

Downtown

MASSAGE

MASSAGE

STAR Superior Chinese Massage

Free Table Shower w/60min 1310 E. Carson St. 412-488-3951

(across from Eat n’ Park)

412-441-1185

412-595-8077

Grand Opening

TIGER SPA

GRAND OPENING!!!

Best of the Best in Town!

420 W. Market St., Warren, OH 44481

Open 24 hrs

Chinese Bodyworks

Shadyside Location

(in Hillcrest Shopping Center)

322 Fourth Ave.

WELLNESS CENTER

Therapy Relief is just a call away.

Our licensed professional staff can assist with Fibromyalgia, Circulation, Low Back Pain, Muscle Spasms.

412-319-7530 4972 Library Road, Bethel Park

Xin Sui Bodyworks

MASSAGE

Therapeutic Massage

TWO LOCATIONS 1190 Washington Pike, Bridgeville

412-401-4110

Xie LiHong’s

MASSAGE

$49.99/ hour Free Vichy Shower with 1HR or more body work (Body shower and Body Scrub) Essential Oil used at no extra charge

Walk-Ins Welcome 412-561-1104 3225 W. Liberty Ave. • Dormont

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76 West, 11 North, 82 West to Market St. 6 lights and make a left.

1/4 mile on the left hand side.

Open 9am-12 midnight 7 days a week!

Licensed Professionals Dry Sauna, Table Shower, Deep Tissue, Swedish

330-373-0303 Credit Cards Accepted

Judy’s Oriental Massage GRAND OPENING!

FULL BODY MASSAGE $40/hr

$10 Coupon with this ad

SUBOXONE/ZUBSOLV OPIATE ADDICTION LF SEAY P

PRIORITY OR RITY HEALTHCARE LTHCARE 412-681-1406

JADE Wellness Center

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Across the street from Howard Hanna’s

• SUBOXONE • VIVITROL

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- a new once a month injection for alcohol and opiate dependency

• Group and Individualized Therapy • New Partial Hospitalization Program

NO WAIT LIST Accepts all major insurances and medical assistance

MONROEVILLE, PA

412-380-0100 www.myjadewellness.com

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 05.28/06.04.2014

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LOCATIONS IN:

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M U S I C

We treat: ~ Opiate Addiction ~ Heroin Addiction ~ And Other Drug

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TA S T E

Call Erin at:

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info@freedomtreatment.com

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412.434.6700

www.ThereToHelp.org We Accept: - UPMC for You - United Health And Many Others +

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