December 18, 2013

WWW.PGHCITYPAPER.COM | 12.18/12.25.2013

SHORTCHANGED: CORBETT ADMINISTRATION PAYS LIP SERVICE TO CLIMATE-CHANGE CONCERNS 14

EVENTS 12.30 – 10am-5pm SPECIAL HOLIDAY HOURS The Warhol will be open on Monday, December 30 from 10am to 5pm

1.11 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: H2 SAXOPHONE QUARTET Co-presented with the Music on the Edge series of the University of Pittsburgh Department of Music Tickets advance $15/$10 students; for tickets call 412.624.7529 or visit www.music.pitt.edu/tickets Door Tickets $20/$15 students FREE parking in The Warhol lot

1.18 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: MEETING OF IMPORTANT PEOPLE, WITH SPECIAL GUESTS, THE NOX BOYS Warhol Entrance Space Tickets $10/$8 Members & students FREE parking in The Warhol lot

1.25 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: STRIKE DUO Warhol theater Co-presented with the Music on the Edge series of the University of Pittsburgh Department of Music Tickets advance $15/$10 students; for tickets call 412.624.7529 or visit www.music.pitt.edu/tickets Door Tickets $20/$15 students FREE parking in The Warhol lot

1.28 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: DAMIEN JURADO Warhol theater Tickets $15/$12 Members & students FREE parking in The Warhol lot

TH ROUG H JAN UARY 12

The Andy Warhol Museum receives state arts funding support through a grant from the Pennsylvania Council on the Arts, a state agency funded by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania; the National Endowment for the Arts, a federal agency and The Heinz Endowments. Further support is provided by the Allegheny Regional Asset District.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.18/12.25.2013

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Editor CHRIS POTTER News Editor CHARLIE DEITCH Arts & Entertainment Editor BILL O’DRISCOLL Music Editor ANDY MULKERIN Associate Editor AL HOFF Listings Editor MARGARET WELSH Assistant Listings Editor JESSICA BOGDAN Staff Writers REBECCA NUTTALL, ALEX ZIMMERMAN Staff Photographer HEATHER MULL Interns ALLISON COSBY, BRETT WILSON

{COVER ILLUSTRATION BY JIM RUGG}

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STEEL CITY MEDIA GENERAL POLICIES: Contents copyrighted 2013

by Steel City Media. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission of the publisher. The opinions expressed in Pittsburgh City Paper are those of the author and not necessarily of Steel City Media. LETTER POLICY: Letters, faxes or e-mails must be signed and include town and daytime phone number for confirmation.

We may edit for length and clarity. DISTRIBUTION: Pittsburgh City Paper is published weekly by Steel City Media and is available free of charge at select distribution locations. One copy per reader; copies of past issues may be purchased for $3.00 each, payable in advance to Pittsburgh City Paper. FIRST CLASS MAIL SUBSCRIPTIONS: Available for $175 per year, $95 per half year. No refunds.

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“You hate technology. You should leave this field.� — What a colleague told CMU roboticist Illah Nourbakhsh when he expressed misgivings about how robots are used

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62 to— beSisterwithRosaire Kopczenski on the joy of painting icons

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 650 Smithfield Street, Suite 2200 Pittsburgh, PA 15222 412.316.3342 FAX: 412.316.3388 E-MAIL info@pghcitypaper.com www.pghcitypaper.com

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the African-American events.� — Club promoter William Marshall on his complaint of discrimination against Station Square

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“YOU CAN’T SAY CERTAIN GROUPS CAN HOLD EVENTS AND NOT OTHERS.”

INCOMING Vote on Produce Terminal delayed ... but not before Burgess drops a reference to apartheid (Dec. 11, online only) “Mr. Burgess is practicing the same extremist rhetorical approach that the birthers and other right-wing extremists use. Shame on him. The overwhelming evidence across the country (and the planet) indicates that historic preservation contributes to the economic and social health of communities. By turning it into a racial issue, he diminishes his leadership and that is unfortunate for him and the city.”

— Web comment from “Rob Pfaffmann”

Cuts in federal food benefits mean tightened belts for residents and charities alike (Dec. 11) “As a recipient of these benefits I can tell [you] it’s quite a stretch on one income feeding a family of four with $66.00 in SNAP benefits. If it weren’t for food pantries and the WIC program, I’m sure my girls would not be able to receive near the proper amount of nutrition.

We can’t afford daycare so I can only work a few evenings with an infant. I’m thankful that there is any help. … Our benefits have fluctuated 3-4 times over the last [y]ear or so. I have no idea how they actually calculate them because the changes rarely align with our income changes, but we just roll with it.”

— Web comment from “Melissa Honeybee Edmond”

Big environmental challenges face incoming Peduto administration (Dec. 11) “Today, environmental ‘problems’ are imaginary. Nothing to worry about, but helpful to those in the imaginary problem business. Air, water and dirt are cleaner than ever. Nothing useful to be done by worrying about imaginary problems.”

— Web comment from “Bill Adams”

CORRECTION: A sentence in our Dec. 11 story “Climate Change” incorrectly identified Alcosan as the “county’s sanitary authority.” The agency is not part of county government, and while it provides wastewater-treatment services to Pittsburgh and 82 other municipalities, there are 13 other sewage-treatment plants in the county.

{PHOTO BY HEATHER MULL}

Event promoter William Marshall has filed a discrimination complaint against Station Square.

Promoter alleges discrimination at Station Square nightspots {BY REBECCA NUTTALL}

H

OW MUCH TIME has gone by

since event promoter William Marshall filed a complaint alleging discrimination at Station Square? So much time that two of the bars named in his February 2012 grievance have since closed their doors. But Marshall’s case against them, along with another Station Square venue and the complex’s managers, lives on.

At issue is a Station Square policy enforced in late 2011, in the wake of high-profile altercations between clubgoers. The facility’s owners, Forest City Enterprises, feared “pandemonium,” and reminded tenants of their right to approve special events in advance.

But Marshall says the policy has enabled discrimination against black pro-

moters and black crowds. And nearly two years ago, he filed a complaint with the city’s Commission on Human Relations — which adjudicates complaints of discrimination in housing, employment and public accommodations.

Forest City denies that race has played any part in its actions. The bars, meanwhile, say that parting ways with Marshall was strictly a business decision. The CHR can order Station Square to change its policies, but so far it hasn’t decided whether there’s enough evidence to even hold a hearing.

The agency has been subpoenaing records, explains Charles Morrison, the CHR’s executive director, but “[s]ometimes there are questions that can’t be answered.”

MARSHALL BEGAN promoting events —

such as after-parties for hip-hop concerts and Steelers games — at Station Square in 2008, at the now-shuttered Margarita Mamas. Later, he says, he moved to Matrix and Carson Street Live, which have also both since closed.

Marshall says his own fortunes at Station Square changed in the fall of 2011, when a large-scale fistfight in September was followed by an Oct. 22 shooting at Zen Social Club during an event hosted by WAMO, a hip-hop radio station.

Marshall contends that, while neither of those incidents involved events he promoted, “The people that own Station Square sent letters to all the clubs saying … ‘We don’t want all this stuff going on, CONTINUES ON PG. 08

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PROMOTER ALLEGES DISCRIMINATION, CONTINUED FROM PG. 06

Even He Wasn’t Expecting This.

all these blacks coming down here.’”

Forest City would not respond directly to questions about Marshall’s complaint, but it did provide copies of two letters it sent to tenants at the time. Neither letter mentions race.

“Recent incidents … have resulted in uncontrollable crowds and pandemonium in the Station Square Project, which were injurious to the reputation” of the complex, the Sept. 14, 2011, letter said.

“Furthermore, said incidents were a nuisance and annoyance to other tenants.”

“Landlord has approval rights over all scheduled events at the premises,” the letter continued, instructing tenants that they “must take immediate steps to inform [Forest City] in writing of all scheduled events, and obtain landlord’s approval.” A later letter, sent days after the shooting, repeated the demand.

Forest City also furnished a Nov. 25, 2013, letter that its attorney, Patricia Monahan, sent to the CHR. “[T]he landlord has addressed the fact that some of its clubs held events that resulted in ‘uncontrollable crowds and pandemonium’ as it had a right to do,” the letter said. “None of these communications have ever addressed Mr. Marshall or any particular tenant or patron’s race.” In fact, Monahan’s letter contends, “[n]one of [Forest City’s] business practices have ever addressed anyone’s race.”

“They don’t have to say the word ‘African-American,’” Marshall counters.

“But they stopped the African-American events and they continued to let white guys do their events.”

Among the targets of his complaint: dance club Whim.

Lonnie Syke, who partners with Marshall on some events, says, “After that shooting, [Whim] shut everything down and said they were doing Top 40.”

Whim owner Chad Hardy says he doesn’t work with Marshall because “[m]y opinion of him as a promoter is very poor.” He notes that Whim currently works with a black promoter, Robert

Sledge, and says the venue “hold[s] multiple black events on a monthly basis.”

Marshall also contends that BarRoom Pittsburgh turned him away in an Oct. 12, 2011, email from executive Mark Mendelson, of parent company SR Station Square. Marshall furnished City Paper with a copy of the email he says Mendelson sent: “The landlord will not let us run contract events due to lease restrictions,” it reads. “We’re sorry we can’t continue the events.”

Donald Saxton, the attorney representing SR Station Square, acknowledges that Forest City had to approve events.

But he says his clients chose not to work with Marshall because he didn’t bring in enough revenue.

“They needed some assurance from him that they weren’t going to lose money,” Saxton says.

BarRoom Pittsburgh was padlocked this past September for owing back rent, along with its Western-themed sister club, Saddle Ridge. The latter club, meanwhile, is named in a complaint filed by a black promoter, Rayco Saunders, who says the club canceled a fight he’d scheduled for Nov. 17, 2011.

Saunders had scheduled the event with “a party who did not have authority,” says Saxton. Saddle Ridge decided to cancel boxing events after a fight broke out among audience members at an earlier bout, Saxton says. In any case, he says, “This is a country bar.

People don’t go down to Saddle Ridge to see boxing.”

That explanation dovetails with what Saunders says he was told at the time. But, he counters, “I’d been to boxing matches there already”: Jimmy Cvetic, a white former Allegheny County Police Officer (and occasional City Paper contributor) held two events at Saddle Ridge earlier in 2011.

A third event had been slated for April 2012, but it was moved.

The promoters think that move was prompted by the filing of their complaint earlier that year. Similarly, they contend that Whim only began hosting

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.18/12.25.2013

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PROMOTER ALLEGES DISCRIMINATION, CONTINUED FROM PG. 08

DRAWINGS EVERY SATURDAY IN DECEMBER!

hip-hop events again in June 2012. Hardy says that’s because his promoter at the time was doing Sunday events only on the nights before Monday holidays, and that there were no such holidays for several months. Sledge now does events on Fridays and Saturdays. But the promoters have their doubts.

“When our complaint came out and … the pot was getting hot,” says Syke, “that’s when they started doing black events again.”

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to prove.

“Very often in discrimination it is a he-said, she-said issue,” says Shannon Powers, spokesperson for the state’s Human Relations Commission, which also looks into discrimination complaints.

“What we’re looking for from both sides is, ‘What information do you have to prove your case?’”

A policy can be discriminatory even if it never mentions race explicitly, she adds.

“You can’t say certain groups can hold events and not others,” Powers adds. “If they’re turning down everything with hip-hop music, it’s like an employer who says no cornrows or no Afros. They’re basing that on the fact a hairstyle is mostly worn by African Americans.”

Morrison, of the city’s CHR, says he can’t comment on the Station Square complaints. But claims like Marshall’s, he says, could fall under the heading of

“adverse impact” or “disparate treatment.” Adverse-impact cases, he says, “generally involve a policy or practice that has been shown to adversely impact people based on their protected class … things such as height/weight requirements that are shown to be non-job-related and adversely impact women as a group.”

That’s not to say country bars have to host hip-hop shows. But a policy might be deemed to have an adverse impact if it approved only events that featured country or Top 40 music.

Such a finding would depend on a commission investigator determining whether there is probable cause that a complaint is valid. If so, the commission brings the parties together to negotiate in private. If that fails, a public hearing is held.

If the allegations are upheld, “The remedies … include a cease-and-desist order — you must stop discriminating on race, so you must accept contracts regardless of race,” Powers says. But while a remedy “can also cover-out-of-pocket expenses” for a complainant, “we can’t order giant pain-and-suffering settlements.”

However, such an outcome is rare: The CHR receives roughly 120 complaints a year, but only 20 percent of those are upheld.

And for now, the CHR is still investigating the Station Square case to see whether a hearing is warranted. “These cases should be concluded in the near future,” Morrison promises.

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State legislators propose package of women’shealth legislation {BY CHARLIE DEITCH} AS EXECUTIVE director for the Women’s

Law Project, Carol Tracy has had a front-row seat to years’ worth of legislative attacks on women’s reproductive health.

From fighting proposals for mandatory ultrasounds to legislation requiring expensive upgrades to abortion clinics and restricting abortion coverage on the state’s health-care exchange, Tracy says, “We’re all tired of being on the defensive. Now we’re finally being proactive.”

The counterstrike came Dec. 11, when the state legislature’s bi-partisan Women’s Health Caucus introduced a package of seven bills that take a “holistic, proactive approach to women’s health,” according to state Rep. Erin Molchany, a South Hills Democrat and member of the caucus.

“This package of bills is not only about women’s health in a literal sense, but it’s also an opportunity to ask, ‘How can we keep women and families strong and moving forward in the commonwealth?’” says Molchany, who co-sponsored a pay-equity bill that is part of the package. “Reproductive health is the cornerstone of women’s health issues, but it’s also about bringing forward legislation designed to make women’s lives easier.”

The caucus, co-chaired by state Rep. Dan Frankel (D-Squirrel Hill), began meeting earlier this year. The collection of bills — known as the Pennsylvania Agenda for Women’s Health — is just the first phase of legislation the group plans to introduce.

Tracy says legislators were approached by activists with thoughts on 26 different women’s health bills; she says she hopes those measures will be “rolled out one after the other” in the coming months and years.

The bills include efforts to: address pay equity; provide workplace accommodations for pregnant women; ensure sanitary conditions for nursing mothers; mandate “buffer zones” to offer clients of healthcare facilities respite from anti-abortion protesters; increase access to breast and cervical cancer screenings; and guarantee equitable protection for victims of domestic violence. Another measure will address “intimate partner harassment” in the form of “revenge porn.”

State Sen. Matt Smith (D-Mount Lebanon), a member of the caucus, says the harassment bill is a case of the “law finally catching up with society.” Currently, if nude

pictures or videos of a person are disseminated online, Smith says, a victim’s only recourse is to sue. This law would allow for criminal penalties as well. “[T]here shouldn’t just be civil recourse” for such violations of privacy, Smith says. “It should also be a criminal offense that the law takes very seriously.”

Smith also co-sponsored the legislation that would make proper accommodations for pregnant women in the workplace. He says the bill would ensure that employers make simple accommodations for pregnant women, like water breaks or the ability to sit on a stool instead of stand during their shift.

Smith says his legislation may seem simple to some, but the package of bills is meant to help women in their “day-to-day” lives.

Molchany’s equitablepay bill, for example, would more clearly define the factors that could lead to pay disparities “to ensure they are not based on or arrived from sex-based differences.”

Molchany says the bill would also help protect workers from retribution if they discuss their pay information with one another.

In Pennsylvania, according to a report this year from the Federal Joint Economic Committee, women earn about 20 percent less than men. Molchany says that can’t continue.

“There are a lot of women who are sole [wage-earners] in Pennsylvania,” Molchany says. “Hopefully this will help to end the pay disparity that exists by making sure Pennsylvania women aren’t paid less simply because they are women.”

Tracy, of the Women’s Law Project, says that while the bills seem wide-ranging, so too are the threats women face across the state. She cites a study by the liberal Center for American Progress showing that Pennsylvania women ranking low on a variety of measures of health. Meanwhile, she says, “In 2011 we had a legislature that spent a third of its days trying to limit abortion.”

“You can’t silo women,” Tracy adds.

“Women’s reproductive-health care is connected to workforce treatment, which is connected to economic security, which is connected to their health care. A woman’s health suffers due to persistent discrimination.

“This package of bills addresses that in a very thoughtful, deliberative manner.”

“PENNSYLVANIA HAS THE OPPORTUNITY TO BECOME A REAL LEADER ON WOMEN’SHEALTH ISSUES.”

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UNWELCOMING CLIMATE {BY BILL O’DRISCOLL} CHRISTOPHER ABRUZZO, who was con-

firmed last week as head of Pennsylvania’s Department of Environmental Protection, has scant experience as an environmental regulator. Some critics call him unqualified for the job.

The sad thing is, for the DEP under the Corbett adminstration, Abruzzo might actually represent a step up.

Abruzzo had been acting director since April. His predecessor, Michael Krancer, was a former energy-industry lawyer who, as the state’s top environmental regulator, was known for praising the shalegas industry and publicly condemning researchers who questioned drilling’s environmental impacts. Perhaps Abruzzo — a longtime state prosecutor whom the administration touts as a “problem-solver” — won’t quite so vociferously defend the industry he’s charged to oversee.

Nonetheless, Krancer’s views on climate change — he questioned the scientific consensus on earth’s top environmental problem — came to mind during Abruzzo’s Dec. 4 confirmation hearing. The acting secretary acknowledged that earth’s climate is changing, and agreed government should address the issue. But that was as far as it went. Asked by state Sen. Daylin Leach whether climate change is “a bad thing,” Abruzzo made a palms-up, “beats me” gesture, then said, “I’ve not read any scientific studies that would lead me to conclude that there are adverse impacts to human beings or to animals or to plant life at this small level of climate change. But I agree there are impacts.”

Actually, countless “scientific studies” — including many cited by reports out of Abruzzo’s own department — enumerate many “adverse impacts” of climate change: rising and acidified seas; more heat waves, floods, droughts and smog; uncertain crop yields; bigger storms; and animal and plant extinctions. “It’s stunning that someone who would be appointed to this position would have such a dearth of knowledge on this,” says Jeff Schmidt, director of the Sierra Club’s Pennsylvania chapter.

Still, the DEP secretary has a boss.

So perhaps what’s most important here isn’t Abruzzo’s knowledge, but Corbett’s position on things like climate change. But if you think that Pennsylvania — the nation’s third-biggest carbon-emitter — should try harder to reduce its carbon footprint,

don’t hold your breath.

Patrick Henderson, Corbett’s powerful top adviser on energy issues, acknowledges that climate change is real. “It’s an issue that we certainly have to be seriously concerned about,” he told City Paper in a phone interview last week. Believe that if you like: Schmidt says he can’t recall Corbett, in his three years in office, ever mentioning climate change. But that “serious concern” is (again) about as far as things go. Henderson, emphasizing that carbon emissions are a global problem, says Pennsylvania ought not reduce its emissions too much just yet: “We don’t want to see significant gains as far as Pennsylvania or the United States, negated because … other nations don’t hold themselves to the same standards.”

That echoes Abruzzo on Dec. 4: “I think Pennsylvania is already doing at least its fair share, if not more than its fare share” on climate change.

So you’re unlikely to see, for instance, Corbett supporting bills (like one that recently died in committee) to raise the percentage of renewable energy the state requires of electricity generators. Henderson says raising current standards (adopted preCorbett) would “disrupt market investment decisions” in the energy industry.

It gets worse. The DEP delivered its latest Climate Impact Report in October — 18 months late — and we’re still waiting for the new Climate Action Report that was also due in 2012. Henderson says state law doesn’t require those reports to be submitted by any “hard and fast date.” But Christina Simeone, who chairs DEP’s Climate Advisory Committee, disagrees. She also says DEP has deprioritized climate change. “The DEP really just does not have the resources and expertise to devote to developing this work plan” to reduce emissions, says Simeone, a staffer for environmental group PennFuture. In July, Joe Sherrick told news service StateImpact Pennsylvania that he’d recently quit his job as DEP climate-change program manager for much the same reason.

Henderson says DEP does have “the appropriate staff complement to address the suite of air-quality issues that Pennsylvanians face,” of which climate is just one.

Simeone agrees that the administration has resources: “They just haven’t put them toward climate initiatives.”

THE SIERRA CLUB’S JEFF SCHMIDT SAYS HE CAN’T RECALL CORBETT EVER MENTIONING CLIMATE CHANGE.

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Wherever your holiday plans take you, have the best and brightest of New Years!

NEWS OF THE WEIRD {BY CHUCK SHEPHERD}

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A Swedish TV show, Biss och Kajs, found itself in the spotlight in November — in Russia, where government-run television apparently used it to send a political message to Ukraine by highlighting the program’s theme of teaching children about bodily functions. The episode Russia chose featured three bulkily-costumed actors sitting around talking — with one dressed in yellow, one in brown and the other unmistakably as a large, nude human posterior. (Biss och Kajs is highly regarded in Sweden; “biss” and “kajs” refer, respectively to the yellow and brown functions.) Ukraine (against Russia’s wishes) is considering a trade agreement with the European Union, and, the Russian station director said, pointedly, “There you have European values in all their glory.”

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The Bank of England, arguing before the U.K.’s Parliamentary Commission on Banking Standards in October, warned against limiting the bonuses that bankers have come to expect from their lucrative deals — because that might encroach on their “human rights.”

The Bank suggested it is a human-rights violation even to ask senior executives to demonstrate that they tried hard to comply with banking laws (because it is the government’s job to prove violations).

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Slick Talkers: (1) A young woman, accosted by a robber on Washington, D.C.’s Capitol Hill, in October, told the man she was a low-paid intern — but an intern for the National Security Agency, and that within minutes of robbing her, the man would be tracked down by NSA surveillance. She said, later (reported the Washington Examiner), the man just “looked at me and ran away [empty-handed].” (2) A 29-year-old cafeteria worker at Sullivan East High School in Blountville, Tenn., swore to police on the scene in October that she was not the one who took money from a co-worker’s purse, and she voluntarily stripped to near-nakedness to demonstrate her innocence. “See? I don’t have it,” she said. Moments later, an officer found the missing $27 stuffed in the woman’s shoe.

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Katarzyna Dryden-Chouen and her husband Clive, busted in a London police raid last year with a marijuana grow operation that had netted an estimated $450,000, insisted to a jury in October that their massive haul was for “personal” use — in that they worship the Hindu god Shiva, and truly believed that the world would end soon and that they needed a sizable offering to burn. (The jury bought it.

“Distribution” charges were dismissed, but the couple still faces jail for their cultivation activity.)

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The Seattle City Council voted in October to seize a waterfront parking lot by eminent domain from the 103-year-old owner after negotiations to buy the property on the open market broke down. The state is funding a six-year tunnel-digging project in the area, and the city has decided it needs the property for not-yet-specified uses —except that in one part of the property, the city said it plans to operate a parking lot.

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Karma: (1) Larry Poulos was stopped on an Arlington, Texas, street in September,

bleeding from a head wound and complaining that he had just been robbed by two men. A friend of Poulos later corroborated that, but police also learned that the money Poulos had been carrying was the proceeds of his having robbed a credit union earlier that evening. He was treated for his wounds and then arrested. (2) At least 44 health workers were struck with a suspected norovirus in September at a Creative Health Care Management convention in Huron, Ohio. Noroviruses are sometimes called the “Norwalk” virus, named after one notable outbreak in 1968 in Norwalk, Ohio, about 12 miles from Huron.

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Breakaway former officials of the Boy Scouts of America met in Nashville, Tenn., in September to establish a Scouts-type organization that can freely discourage homosexuality, with one leader promising Fox News that the result would be “a more masculine” program. Another prominent attendee described his sorrow at the BSA’s embrace of gay boys: “I’ve cried a river.”

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In November, Sweden’s National Housing Board ordered the country’s famous Ice Hotel in Jukkasjarvi (built anew annually out of fresh ice blocks) to install fire alarms. “We were a little surprised,” said a spokeswoman (who acknowledged that the hotel’s mattresses and pillows could catch fire).

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Greg Gulbransen of Oyster Bay, N.Y., announced in September that he was about to sue the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration for dragging its feet in implementing the Gulbransen-inspired 2007 federal legislation that he said would save lives, especially those of toddlers. The unimplemented law would force car manufacturers to install rear-facing cameras as standard equipment, a cause Gulbransen embraced after accidentally, fatally, backing over his own toddler in the family’s SUV.

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An exhaustive American Civil Liberties Union report in November showed that more than 3,200 people are serving life sentences in the U.S. for non-violent offenses (about 80 percent for drug crimes). Most were sentenced under “three-strikes”-type laws in which the final straw might be for trivial drug possession, for instance, or for a petty theft such as the $159-jacket shoplifting in Louisiana, or the twojersey theft from a Foot Locker. Said the jacket thief, Timothy Jackson, “I know that for my crime I had to do some time but … I have met people here whose crimes are a lot badder with way less time.” Added his sister, “You can take a life and get 15 or 16 years,” but her brother “will stay in jail forever. He didn’t kill the jacket!”

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Undignified Deaths: (1) Douglas Yim, 33, was convicted in September of murdering a 25-year-old man in Oakland, Calif., in 2011 after an evening of teasing by the man, who mocked Yim’s certainty about the existence of God. (2) A 27-year-old yoga fanatic in St. Austell, England, drowned in a pit in May during a well-publicized attempt to create an “out-of-body experience” to get as close to death as possible but without going over the line.

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THE LITTLE LANGOSTINOS WERE AS ADDICTIVE AS POPCORN

MOTORING {BY ALEX ZIMMERMAN} Kevin Sousa’s idea of a view isn’t a sweeping coastline or perch atop Mount Washington.

His new restaurant will lie in the shadows of Braddock’s still-active Edgar Thomson Steel Works, and will borrow both its name and space from “Superior Motors,” one of the first indoor car dealerships in the country.

Calling it a restaurant is an understatement: Sousa is hoping it will be a nexus of community development and food education, bridging fine dining, barbeque and hot dogs.

“The goal is to provide training free of charge and housing for people who want to be a part of the restaurant/ farming world,” Sousa explains. The restaurant is adjacent to an old convent, an apiary and 4,000 square feet of farming space, including a rooftop greenhouse.

Sousa needs $250,000 to get the project off the ground, but has had trouble getting funding from traditional sources. Braddock Mayor John Fetterman has already agreed to offer the old dealership space rent-free, and at press time, Sousa had raised $60,000 through a Kickstarter campaign, which expires Jan. 6.

As a business proposition, Braddock is a complicated location. It is home to no other restaurants (the borough is one of the region’s poorest) — though Sousa says no one will be turned away based on their ability to pay.

“Anyone can make a fancy plate of food,” Sousa says (and that’s something he’s been celebrated for at his flagship restaurant, Salt of the Earth) — “but what else can we do?”

View the Kickstarter campaign here: http://tinyurl.com/md7l3pp AZIMMERMAN@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

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SURF AND TURF {PHOTOS BY HEATHER MULL}

{BY ANGELIQUE BAMBERG + JASON ROTH}

A

LL TOO OFTEN, Jason is disappointed when visiting steakhouses that remind him of the restaurant meals of his childhood. These meat-and-potatoes dinners don’t live up to current levels of culinary sophistication, or even the expectations of decades past. But any trepidation was unfounded at J.W. Hall’s, an oldfashioned, family-style steakhouse in Hopewell Township. Not only was the ambience satisfying — its stained woodwork and paintings of European idylls a step up from diner decor without being formal — but the preparations happily lived up to childhood memories, too.

Hall’s location in a strip mall belies its 30-year history. The current owners, Hopewell natives Jeff and Johnene Belsky, purchased it in 2011. While the vibe is casual, it’s clear that Hall’s aspires to be a go-to place for event dining; indeed, three generations were having a birthday dinner out at a table nearby.

The menu’s emphasis on steak and seafood rises to special occasions, while plenty of pasta dishes, sandwiches and

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.18/12.25.2013

Lobster kettle and beef filet

pub-style appetizers accommodate regulars. Most of the menu would have been familiar when the restaurant opened, but nonetheless delivers options for today’s much more discerning diners. Thus the salad bar, while including such chestnuts as canned black olives and bacon bits, also features baby spinach and grape tomatoes, not to mention the remarkable addition of a large wedge of good, sharp cheddar cheese.

J.W. HALL’S STEAK AND SEAFOOD INN

2284 Broadhead Road, Aliquippa. 724-375-6860 HOURS: Mon.-Thu. 11 a.m.-9:30 p.m.; Fri.-Sat. 11 a.m.-11 p.m.; Sun. 11 a.m.-9 p.m.

PRICES: Appetizers, soups, and salads $5-14; entrees $14-28 LIQUOR: Full bar

CP APPROVED Another steakhouse staple, the warm loaf of bread served whole on a cutting board with breadknife, is available in white or wheat. Our wheat loaf, though a bit lack-

ing in crustiness, was flavorful and hearty.

For those who forego the salad bar, one option is spinach salad with warm bacon dressing. Many restaurants serve this dressing sweet, but Hall’s was more savory, and without the viscous texture that can ooze overwhelmingly over tender greens. Unfortunately it was also without big bacon flavor. Sliced button mushrooms didn’t add much in compensation.

A winning appetizer was shrimp and scallops, broiled in butter and available with Cajun, citrus or, our choice, creamy Dijon seasoning. This was good enough that, once the seafood was gone, Jason eagerly sunk some of the bread into the sauce. The modest-sized sea scallops were cooked well enough, but it was the plump, firm shrimp that stood out, and the Dijon seasoning delivered zing through the richness of the cream.

This boded well for seafood in our entrees. In what we’re guessing to be the biggest departure from the old Hall’s menu, the seafood offerings extend well beyond shellfish to include a number of finfish in

preparations that, if not precisely up to the minute, at least don’t scream that they’re dated. Jason couldn’t resist the menu’s two signature items, paired: prime rib and “lobster kettle,” langostinos served in a miniature bucket with drawn butter on the side.

The prime rib was flawless, surrounded by flavorful, well-seasoned jus, while the little langostinos delivered on their promise of lobster-like sweetness and tenderness.

They were as addictive as popcorn.

Crabmeat Devonshire was less impressive. A Pittsburgh invention, Devonshire is a variation on the open-face sandwich consisting of mild, shredded meat (turkey is classic) and salty, smoky bacon layered with a creamy, cheesy sauce on toast. The substitution of crabmeat took the recipe up a notch, but the crab still included little shards of shell, and was nearly drowned in gooey sauce.

Chocolate-chip raspberry cheesecake

A burger was juicy despite being cooked beyond our requested medium rare, and the faintly hearty bun was appropriate to an upscale eatery, even if the lettuce was pale iceberg (not romaine) and the onion slice harsh yellow (not bright red). As a side, we had the choice of fries or “quarter fries,” quartered potatoes that were less like steak fries and more like sections of baked potato. They were a bit underseasoned, and poorly partnered with ketchup; bakedpotato-style accompaniments would have perfectly complemented their character.

The fries served alongside our broiled chicken were crispy and fluffy, with that textured surface that has been in vogue lately, while the poultry itself was masterful. Superbly juicy white meat suggested a marinade (or perhaps baste) that stood in for a sauce without drowning the flesh, and char marks offered grace notes of smokiness and occasional crisp.

Finally, a house-made decadence of peanut-butter fudge in a chocolate crumb crust with hot-fudge topping had a silken texture, fully flavored yet remarkably light.

It was a perfect conclusion to a meal that should satisfy anyone open to the classic American surf-and-turf tradition, raised to the level of execution that most of us now demand.

On the RoCKs

{BY HAL B. KLEIN}

CHRISTMAS ON TAP Holiday ideas for, and by, local beer enthusiasts Looking for a way to add to your holiday cheer this season? Some local beer enthusiasts have a few ideas.

East End Brewing Company, for one, is offering a “12 Beers of Christmas” special. Owner Scott Smith says that, for $100 (discounted from $122), customers will get to sample the brewery’s entire current lineup of 12 beers.

“I noticed that the brewery’s new 32-ounce growlers came 12 to a box, and we have 12 taps in the wall,” Smith says.

“Pretty easy to think 12 beers, 12 bottles … and 12 days of Christmas.”

Keeping with the spirit of the season (and brewery policy), Smith says he’ll refund the $3 (per growler) deposit if the bottles are returned clean and in good condition.

If you’re a more ambitious reveler, you could take a cue from Tim and Devon Murdoch — the couple behind the blog Pennies, Pints, Pittsburgh — and mark the season with your very own beer advent calendar.

Most advent calendars feature two dozen tiny doors for the days before Christmas, with chocolates or trinkets behind each door. The Murdochs’ calendar updates that tradition for the over-21 set.

“It’s really fun to pull out a beer each night, drink it, and then talk about it,” says Devon.

Tim says that while poster tubes and a cardboard box are perfectly acceptable building materials for an annual calendar, the couple spent about $90 and crafted a masterpiece from PVC pipe and handstained wood.

The beer selection, according to Tim, is “90 percent local,” with a couple of outof-town favorites thrown in. To preserve the element of surprise, a third party was enlisted to fill the calendar with bottles such as Full Pint Festivus, Penn Brewery St. Nicholas Bock, Fat Head Holly Jolly, East End Snowmelt and Roundabout’s New Zealand Summer Winter Warmer.

You can find directions for building your own advent calendar at the Murdochs’ blog, penniespintspittsburgh. com. Which is lucky, because the original is not for sale.

“It’s a family heirloom,” says Devon.

“IT’S REALLY FUN TO PULL OUT A BEER EACH NIGHT, DRINK IT, AND THEN TALK ABOUT IT.”

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

INFO@ PGHC ITY PAP ER.CO M

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THE FOLLOWING DINING LISTINGS ARE RESTAURANTS RECOMMENDED BY CITY PAPER FOOD CRITICS

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AMEL’S. 435 McNeilly Road, Baldwin. 412-563-3466. This South Hills institution serves up a broad selection of Mediterranean favorites, from kabobs and pilafs to lemony salads, as well as staples of the American and Italian comfort cuisine. Amel’s atmosphere is lively with seating in the restaurant’s amusing and lavishly decorated warrens. KE BURGATORY. 932 Freeport Road, The Waterworks, Aspinwall.

412-781-1456. Nestled in an off-the-path corner of The Waterworks strip mall, Burgatory is in the running for best burgers in town. It starts with its own blend of ground sirloin, chuck, food movement, but it’s hardly brisket and short rib, and buttery dreary health food. The menu buns — then piles on the is simple, with a few options toppings. (There are in each category: starter, prefab combinations and main (raw), main (hot) checklists for custom and sweet. Some dishes orders.) Add shakes, were frankly salads, fries — or perhaps an while others were raw, extra-ordinary salad. JE www. per vegan adaptations of pa pghcitym cooked comfort foods.

CHINA STAR. 100 .co (Chicken can be added McIntyre Square, 7900 to some dishes.) There is McKnight Road, North Hills. also an extensive menu of freshly 412-364-9933. Though a standard Chinese-American menu available, squeezed and blended juices and smoothies. JF the real action is on the humbly Xeroxed Sichuan menu that’s all ELEVEN. 1150 Smallman St., in Chinese. Fortunately, there is Strip District. 412-201-5656. This a translated version available, multi-leveled venue (with balcony) and the names read like a perched on the edge of The gourmand’s exotic fantasy: duck Strip is noted for its innovative, with devil’s tongue yam, rabbits contemporary American cuisine. in flaming pan. These authentic Dishes are prepared with fresh, dishes may sound mysterious, local ingredients and served in but they’re delicious. KE a classy modern space, to be complemented with an amazing CURE. 5336 Butler St., wine selection. LE Lawrenceville. 412-252-2595.

Charcuterie specialties are just part of the locally inspired menu at this rustic-chic Lawrenceville restaurant. A short menu offers seasonal specialties (wild onions in spring), often combined with pork, but vegetables get a spotlight in dishes such as risotto with local mushrooms. LE

FULL LIST ONLINE

E2. 5904 Bryant St., Highland Park.

412-441-1200. The popular, cozy brunch spot has expanded, adding a dinner menu that refracts traditional, Old World recipes through the prism of the contemporary American kitchen (fresh, local, seasonal). It’s as elemental as cannellini beans with red-pepper flakes, or as elaborate as seared scallops with butternut-squash mash, fried leeks and Portobello, and truffled pumpkin seeds. KF EDEN. 735 Copeland St., Shadyside. 412-802-7070. The food here is inspired by the raw-

Pastitsio {PHOTO BY HEATHER MULL} FRANKTUARY. 3810 Butler St., Lawrenceville. 412-586-7224. The longtime Downtown hot-doggery expands its menu here in an attractive sit-down space, with creatively dressed hot dogs, a variety of poutines (loaded French fries) and hand-crafted

Eden {PHOTO BY HEATHER MULL} cocktails. The focus is on local and sustainable, with meats, veg and grains from nearby sources. JE KELLY’S BAR & LOUNGE. 6012 Penn Circle South, East Liberty. 412-363-6012. The vintage aesthetic isn’t retro at this longtime neighborhood hangout; it’s the real thing.

And the original 1940s fare has been updated with taste and style: Burgers and fries share space with Asian potstickers and satay. The mini mac-and-cheese is a classic. JE MONTEREY BAY FISH GROTTO. 1411 Grandview Ave., Mount Washington (412-481-4414) and 146 Mall Circle Drive, Monroeville (412-374-8530). Because fish lends itself to endless preparations and dressings, the menu here is copious (and that’s not including the daily specials). The Mount Washington location, with its spectacular view of the city, is a popular venue for special occasions, out-of-towners and anyone who loves fish. KE OISHII BENTO. 119 Oakland Ave., Oakland. 412-687-3335.

Bamboo walls and a low counter with colorful cloth cubes for seating denote a place for moderately priced Japanese food, including sushi. Oishii also adds a few Korean dishes for variety and spice; those seeking a little heat might consider bulgogi, the Korean BBQ. JF PASTITSIO. 3716 Butler St., Lawrenceville. 412-586-7656.

This tiny storefront café boasts a Greek deli, complete with a steam table and a display cooler with salads. Its namesake baked-noodle casserole is a winner, but much of the menu changes daily according to what’s fresh. J CONTINUES ON PG. 24

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.18/12.25.2013

2008 Readers -2012 ’ Choice

Best Mex Restauraican nt Gift s Certificate Available!

Family Owned and Serving Pittsburgh for 15 Years!

1/2 off

appetizers and drinks during any home games

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Full Service Bar • Over 50 Types of Tequila!

Best Homemade Margaritas in The Burgh!

Northview Plaza • North Hills • 412-366-8730

www.elcampesinospgh.com MON-THURS 11AM-10PM • FRI-SAT 11AM -10:30PM • SUN NOON-9PM

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DINING OUT, CONTINUED FROM PG. 22

PIACQUADIO’S. 300 Mount Lebanon Blvd., Mount Lebanon.

412-745-3663. There’s still pleasure to be had in old-fashioned breaded chicken and veal, served up at this classic Italian-American restaurant. Indulge in old-school comfort foods, such as manicotti (made with crepes) and beans and greens (with sausage), as well as chicken and pastas specials. KE

----- HAPPY HOUR -----

Serving Pittsburgh with 7 locations!

Allison Park 412-486-9600

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HALF OFF DRAFT BEER, SNACKS & DOMESTIC CANS Mon- Fri 4:30 – 6:30pm -----------------------------------------900 Western Ave. NORTH SIDE Open Daily at 11 am 412-224-2163

BenjaminsPgh.com

POINT BRUGGE CAFÉ. 401 Hastings St., Point Breeze. 412441-3334. This cozy neighborhood bistro reflects a concerted effort to translate the European neighborhood café — warm, welcoming, unpretentious yet delicious — to Pittsburgh. Despite bits of Asian fusion, the selections are classic Low Country fare such as Belgian beef stewed with beer, and Italian influences in risotto, sausage and polenta. KE

Sewickley Hotel {PHOTO BY HEATHER MULL} alfredo. Artisanal touches like a side dish of “chef’s grains” complete the picture. KE

ROBBIE’S SUPER-STUFF SUPER-LICIOUS BBQ. 1000 Ardmore Blvd., Forest Hills.

412-823-4003. This Forest Hills THE RED RING. 1015 Forbes venue offers straight-up Southern Ave., Uptown. 412-396-3550. barbecue of chicken, beef This Duquesne University and pork, with all the venue is a decided cut sides you’d expect, such above student as greens (cooked in dining. The dining pork broth), mac-androom is spacious, with cheese and corn-filled a handsome www. per a p pghcitym corn bread. Get the fieldstone bar. The .co sauce on the side to fare is contemporary savor the smokiness of American cuisine, with a the meat. KF thoughtful selection of internationally inflected classics SEWICKLEY HOTEL. 509 Beaver like chipotle barbecue pork St., Sewickley. 412-741-9457. At tenderloin and blackened chicken this revamped hotel, the offerings reflect a balance between timehonored dishes such as turtle soup and more modern fare, like a crabmeat-stuffed quesadilla.

Steak-lovers will be pleased, but adventurous burger fans should check out the Light Up Night burger, topped with blue crabmeat, bacon, avocado and pepper-jack cheese. LE

FULL LIST E N O LIN

Skinny Pete’s Kitchen Pittsburgh Restaurant Week is Here!

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Happy Hour Daily • 4 to 6 www.yoritasouthside.com

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.18/12.25.2013

New Hours For 2014 Monday 9a-3p • Tuesday-Thursday 9a-6p Friday 9a-8p • Saturday Brunch 9a-2p

412-415-0338

538 California Ave. Pittsburgh Pa 15202 Check out our New & Improved website!

www.skinnypetes.com

SOBA/UMI. 5847-9 Ellsworth Ave., Shadyside. 412-362-5656/ 412-362-6198. Here, the local Big Burrito group offers two different menus in the same building. Soba offers pan-Asian fusion (from Korean barbeque to Thai corn chowder and Vietnamese hotand-sour shrimp) in a minimalist yet elegant restaurant/lounge.

Umi’s Japanese menu, meanwhile, focuses on sushi and teriyaki; it’s a perennial finalist in City Paper’s “Best of Pittsburgh” issue. LE SONOMA GRILLE. 947 Penn Ave., Downtown. 412-697-1336.

The menu here groups food and selected wines (mostly Californian, of course) under such oenophilic summaries as “jammy” and “muscular,” encouraging an entirely new approach to food selection. The restaurant’s offerings include tapas, hearty meat dishes with an array of international seasonings, and a mix-n-match, create-your-own section for mixed grill. KE SPOON. 134 S. Highland Ave., East Liberty. 412-362-6001. A swanky

restaurant offering American cuisine and focusing on locally procured, sustainable ingredients and seasonal offerings. What stands out is the sensitivity with which each dish is conceived — from flavor, texture and the creation of fresh combinations.

Thus, ancho chilies and pork are paired with new, yet justright blendings such as cilantro, lime and feta. LE STAGIONI. 2104 E. Carson St., South Side. 412-586-4738. This cozy storefront restaurant offers a marriage of traditional ingredients and modern, sophisticated sensibilities. From inventive salads utilizing seasonal ingredients and house-made pastas to flavorful meat entrees and vegetarian plates, the fare exhibits a masterful combination of flavors and textures. KF

E2 {PHOTO BY HEATHER MULL} YAMA. 538 Third St., Beaver.

724-774-5998. This Japanese restaurant offers familiar favorites such as tempura, sushi and teriyaki, but takes an artistic approach to authentic cuisine.

Thus fried gyoza dumplings are garnished with a small tumbleweed of finely grated carrot, and an octopus salad is graced with cucumber matchsticks. KF THE ZENITH. 86 S. 26th St., South Side. 412-481-4833. Funky antique décor you can buy and a massive, convivial Sunday brunch make this a vegan/vegetarian hotspot. For the tea snob, the multi-page list is not to be missed. FJ

• Over 50 wines by the glass • Seasonal Cocktails

Happy Hour

M-F 4:30 – 6:30p.m.

412-325-2227

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mallorcarestaurantpgh.com

2224 E Carson St SOUTHSIDE (at Birmingham Bridge)

We Love You, We Really Love You! Customer Appreciation Night Thursday December 19

Food & Beverage Specials Door Prizes Pony Rides

harrisgrill.com

Harris Grill thanks you for your loyal support over the past 9 years N E W S

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LOCAL

“HOPEFULLY AFTER WE’RE ON TV, WE COULD GET SOME MORE ATTENTION.”

BEAT

{BY IAN THOMAS}

LAST-TIME CALLER

Newfound success, a long time coming: Jeff Campbell

Gentleman caller: Michael Kastelic

On Dec. 17, comedy writer Tom Scharpling ended his storied run on The Best Show on WFMU, a show he created and hosted for 13 years on New Jersey free-form radio station WFMU. Scharpling’s weekly three-hour show was an intersection of underground music and out-there comedy, a self-described bastion of mirth, music and mayhem. Some of the most creative minds the cultural periphery had to offer — comedians like Patton Oswalt and Julie Klausner, musicians like Aimee Mann and Ted Leo — could let loose in freewheeling, expansive conversations.

Being a Best Show caller wasn’t always easy; the most successful callers exhibited a combination of focus, humility and personality, though some were simply wild cards who amused Scharpling in their unpredictability. Michael Kastelic, singer for Pittsburgh’s garage-rock mainstays The Cynics, was a semiregular caller for the better part of the show’s run.

Though frequently chided for “taking the scenic route” in telling his stories, Kastelic clearly charmed Scharpling with his excitable, enthusiastic demeanor.

Kastelic found it difficult to stifle his personality enough to fall in line with Scharpling’s instruction to improve as a caller. “The random callers that don’t follow the rules were always my [favorite] calls to listen to, though,” Kastelic says. “[They] gave Tom some ammo, and that’s when he shines.”

While Kastelic has been a talk-radio fan since he was young, and is a regular caller to shows like the local Lynn Cullen Show, he admits it never gets easier.

“I am always intimidated and nervous.

You’re waiting on the phone line and you never know when they’re going to put you on; I always get dizzy and kind of hyperventilate.”

Kastelic is one of many fans in Pittsburgh, and from all around the world, who has been touched by The Best Show.

“I don’t think I am being hyperbolic if I say The Best Show has changed the modern landscape of radio/Internet broadcasts in the same way that Bob and Ray or Firesign Theatre changed aural comedy. Tom really brought it around full circle.”

WINNER WINNER {BY ANDY MULKERIN}

I

T’S NOT THAT things were going

poorly for Jeff Campbell — but until earlier this year, he was very much on the standard route for a singersongwriter. Living in San Francisco, he was playing shows around that town, and touring several months out of the year, slowly building an audience, not signed to a label or anything. Then he stumbled onto something.

“I saw a video on the Internet of someone performing at a Guitar Center,” he explains. “I asked my manager how you get a show like that; she looked into it and found this songwriter contest.”

That contest ended up being a gamechanger for Campbell, who’s 34. Out of thousands of entrants in the megastore’s singer-songwriter competition, he made the 10-person finals.

“I ended up competing against nine other incredibly talented songwriters,” Campbell recalls. “They had us together

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.18/12.25.2013

for a week before the show, and it became very familial. Of those nine, there are a few I’ll be friends with for the rest of my life. I’m sure we’ll all be friendly, and follow each other’s careers.”

But the contest judge, Grammywinning producer John Shanks, chose only one — Campbell — to be the winner.

JEFF CAMPBELL AND MEGAN SLANKARD 8 p.m. The Center of Harmony, 253 Mercer St., Harmony. All ages. $10-15. 724-400-6044 or www.thecenterofharmony.com

“I have no idea what set me apart!”

Campbell says. “There were some people in the finals who I was sure they had it.

I was older than most of the others, so maybe that was it; I had more experience.

At the end of the day, it came down to one

guy’s opinion, and that was John Shanks.”

Shanks would produce a record with the winner. “Maybe he just saw something in my style and said, ‘I can work with that.’”

The spoils: sessions with Shanks that became Campbell’s new EP, In Spite of Everything. An appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live! on Dec. 12. Oh yeah, and gear.

“A whole bunch of gear. I want for nothing in terms of guitars, all of that.”

Campbell, a Philadelphia native, grew up playing drums — often an asset if you want to end up in a band. “I got a drum set when I was 11, and I started playing with older guys in the neighborhood who had guitars,” he explains. But there was always a guitar around the house, too — Campbell’s parents both played music — and eventually he started to play and write his own tunes.

Campbell had the opportunity to move to San Francisco for work in 2004 and took it. “California is pretty far

out of reach for a lot of folks” from the area where he grew up, he notes. A few years later, he was able to quit his day job and support himself playing music. Most of the time he’s out solo, touring with other singer-songwriters; now and then, he brings a full band along.

And occasionally, as with his stop at The Center of Harmony in Harmony, Pa., on Fri., Dec. 20, he tours with his girlfriend, Megan Slankard, herself an accomplished singer-songwriter from the Bay Area.

“We understand each other’s lifestyle,” Campbell notes. “It involves a lot of travel, and most people wouldn’t deal with that. But we both do it.”

While they often tour separately, they can sometimes find a way to get together … in a random city, in the middle of their tours. “You’d be surprised,” he says with a laugh. “We’ve made it happen before. ‘I’ll meet you in Memphis’ is the joke.”

The road is where Campbell gleans some of what he ends up turning into his lyrical ideas. “The second single from the new EP, ‘Steal Your Car’ — it was based on a conversation I heard in an airport bar. I heard it and I thought, ‘That’s a

OPUS ONE PRESENTS

situation I know!’

“Most times, [lyrics are] superpersonal to me — something I have to get off my chest. Something I want to say to someone, but don’t know how.”

“Steal Your Car” was one of two tunes Campbell played during his Dec. 12 appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, his first national-TV performance. Backed by a full band and a set of backup singers, he didn’t let on that it was something new for him — he exuded the confidence of someone who’s been working hard for years to become an overnight success. (“If I get nervous, I’ll just look around and remember that a bunch of my best friends are around me,” he said the day before the performance.)

With the new EP and the TV appearance under his belt, Campbell plans to keep doing what he’s always done — touring hard — but perhaps with a little more notability.

“You just keep touring,” he says.

“Hopefully after we’re on TV, we could get some more attention.

“It’s complicated — well, it’s both complicated and simple. This is what I’ve always done.”

“I WANT FOR NOTHING IN TERMS OF GUITARS”

AMULKERI N@PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

$

2

.50

coors light aluminum pints during all steelers games

12/19 FRANK VIEIRA 12/20 THE RACE TO THE COFFIN COMEDY TOUR FT.

coors light always on tap

12/21 BILL EBERLE (EARLY) 12/21 THE MIKE MEDVED BAND CHRISTMAS SHOW

JOHN DICK WINTERS, ALEX STYPULA & MORE (LATE)

12/26 12/27 12/28 12/28 01/03 01/04 01/11

Beer Nutz • O’Hara • 1335 Freeport Road Pittsburgh, PA 15238 • 412 963-6889 N E W S

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BENEFITING PROJECT BUNDLE-UP (LATE) BILL DEASY'S ANNUAL BOXING DAY SHOW FT. THE GATHERING FIELD VIBRO KINGS STEEL CITY COMEDY TOUR (EARLY) BLUE OF COLORS (LATE) THE HOFFMAN ROAD BAND AN EVENING WITH ONE SWEET BURGH A DAVE MATTHEWS BAND TRIBUTE (EARLY) THE MIXUS BROTHERS CD RELEASE (EARLY)

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S C R E E N

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GETTING A LEG UP pres. with Obvious / Ages 17+

Ages 21+

Ages 17+

jam/funk/livetronica ... everything but the kitchen sink

Jan 5

KEYS N KRATES A METAL XMAS & A HEAVY NEW YEAR

OUR LAST NIGHT Feb 5 EMANCIPATOR ENSEMBLE feat.

with ODESZA, REAL MAGIC

Feb 14

EUGENE MIRMAN

of BOB’S BURGERS, FLIGHT OF THE CONCORDS

with DERRICK BROWN

Feb 18 Feb 20

PAPER DIAMOND with LOUDPVCK, BRANCHEZ

BLACK JOE LEWIS

IT’S BEEN A banner year for Legs Like Tree Trunks. The local indie band (which has members who live in Philadelphia as well) has toured, prepped for the upcoming package reissue of its first two EPs via the Ageless Curse label, and received a dubious distinction on an Onion AV Club year-end list. We talked with guitarist and singer Matt Holden while the band was out on a two-week tour of the eastern U.S.

THIS IS YOUR LONGEST TOUR THUS FAR. HOW HAVE THINGS BEEN GOING? A lot of the places we’re going are places we haven’t been; those shows will always be smaller, but we’ve definitely noticed the hospitality of people down here in the South. People are really nice, cooking for us, buying us pizza or beer, letting us crash at their places.

Ages 17+

swirling, upbeat instrumental rock from an experimental keyboardist Ages 21+

Dec 20

{BY ANDY MULKERIN}

www.thunderbirdcafe.net

BIG LEG EMMA / THE TRAINJUMPERS

DEC 26

X

JAN 18

X

JAN 24

X

FLETCHER’S GROVE

JAN 25

X

MOJOFLO

JAN 26

X

THE STEPKIDS

FEB 19

X

TROPIDELIC

APR 04

X

EKOOSTIK HOOKAH WITH KR-3

BIG MEAN SOUND MACHINE

YOU’VE BEEN TALKING WITH LABELS ABOUT RELEASING AN LP NEXT YEAR BUT IT SEEMS LIKE NONE OF THAT IS SET IN STONE YET. WHAT’S THE STATUS OF THE RECORD? We have the majority of it done, we still have to do some vocals and some overdubs. We’ll probably spend a week in Philly, in the studio there, but we have to figure out the label stuff before we can fund that last tracking week, and the mixing and mastering.

{PHOTO COURTESY OF MONKEY}

Catching a wave: Legs Like Tree Trunks (from left: Tyler Donaldson, Matt Holden, Dave Shepherd, Dave Cerminara)

vice versa for all those bands; they’re all bringing unique people. Pittsburgh has disparate music scenes and crowds. I think it’s really fun to play with bringing those people [together] and bridging that gap.

WE CAN’T LET YOU GO WITHOUT ASKING HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT HAVING BEEN NAMED TO THE AV CLUB’S WORST BAND NAMES LIST FOR 2013.

Well, we do have a pretty shitty band name! It was something my dad said when I was in high school, about a rugby player on TV, and at the time I’d been making music by myself and I put it out under that name. In college, I made some tracks and used the same name, and that grew into this band, so we just kept it. I don’t know; I’m happy that the AV Club recognizes that we have a shitty band name. They definitely increased traffic to our Facebook and Twitter pages quite a bit.

“I’M HAPPY THAT THE AV CLUB RECOGNIZES THAT WE HAVE A SHITTY BAND NAME.”

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO GET OUT OF A LABEL RELATIONSHIP? There are a few things a label can provide; obviously, money is one of those things.

Resources is another: distribution channels, exisiting relationships between labels and different media outlets, booking agents.

But we want to be working with people who understand what we’re trying to do, an artist-friendly label.

YOUR HOMECOMING SHOW AT STAGE AE IS DOUBLING AS A RELEASE SHOW FOR THE REISSUE OF THE TWO EPS. IT ALSO SEEMS LIKE YOU’RE BRIDGING THE GAP BETWEEN OLDER AND YOUNGER BANDS WITH THE BILL. We want to play shows with people we like.

We also want a diverse crowd to come to our shows. People who come to see Shockwave Riderz may not have heard Legs, or heard Gotobeds or Nevada Color. And

LEGS LIKE TREE TRUNKS

WITH SHOCKWAVE RIDERZ, THE GOTOBEDS, NEVADA COLOR 7 p.m. Sat., Dec. 21. Stage AE, 400 North Shore Drive, North Side. $10.

All ages. 412-229-5483 or www.stageae.com

SOMETIMES A BAD BAND NAME CAN DRAW YOU IN — THEN YOU REALIZE THE BAND IS GOOD. Diarrhea Planet is doing pretty well. And they definitely have a worse band name than us.

A M UL K E RI N @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.18/12.25.2013

NEW RELEASES {BY ANDY MULKERIN}

CHELSEY NICOLE AND THE NORTHSIDE VAMPS LOVE THROUGH THE LINE (SELF-RELEASED)

A range of vintage sounds on this seven-song debut: Motown-style soul, blues, smooth Muscle Shoals stuff.

Powerful vocals from Chelsey are good all around, but at their best when she’s belting — her voice is naturally so big, the emotional range that’s represented by the lyrics doesn’t always come across on the quiet parts. Everything about the sound, including the horn section, hits spot-on — and this is just a debut release. Good stuff that likely translates well live.

CHELSEY NICOLE AND THE NORTHSIDE VAMPS EP RELEASE. 9 p.m. Thu., Dec. 19. Howlers, 4509 Liberty Ave., Bloomfield. $5. 412-682-0320

FEDORA THE EXPLORA BANNED HAVANA (SELF-RELEASED)

Indie rock with seeming sonic references to AM Gold pop on this debut EP. Strings and horns mingle with synths in a way that feels natural (a feat unto itself), and the lyrical content, if not mind-blowing, is good enough to not be distracting.

Good songwriting, well produced; even “Voice of an Angel,” which starts out sounding kind of sappy, turns into something genuine and pretty. Worth a listen for sure.

JESSICA LEE RHYTHMS OF ANYWAY (SELF-RELEASED)

A mix of standards and originals on this 10-track full-length from the wellreputed local jazz singer, whose band includes notables like Max Leake and the legendary Roger Humphries. Writing new material in an older idiom like this is always a challenge, but it’s one Lee rises to; “Love No Hands,” the first original on the album, is poetic and pleasant. And of course you can’t go wrong with tunes like “The More I See You” and “Nature Boy,” both of which appear here.

AMULKERIN@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

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{PHOTO COURTESY OF SARAH CASS}

CRITICS’ PICKS Mansions PEOPLES GAS HOLIDAY MARKET: NOW THROUGH DEC. 23 • Santa’s House • Live Music • Handcrafted & Imported Gifts • BNY Mellon Season of Lights HOLIDAY SATURDAYS: Free Trolley & Carriage Rides, Free Parking & Family Fun

[ALT-COUNTRY] + FRI., DEC. 20

DOWNTOWNPITTSBURGH.COM/HOLIDAYS

One-of-a-kind gifts for your last-minute holiday needs. #ShopSewickley

Entertainment at Wolcott Park Wednesday, December 18, 6–8pm Golden Strolling Strings North Allegheny String Quintet

Saturday, December 21, 11am–1pm "Miracle on Beaver Street" Play by Northway Christian Community Performance by Sewickley Area Theatre Company

Hang out with

Santa Saturday!

11am-1pm

Free Horse-Drawn Carriage Rides Wednesday 6–8pm and Saturday 11am-1pm

Extended shopping hours for the holidays

Free Gift Wrapping Saturday from 11:00 am-1:00 pm, 411 Walnut Street Courtesy of Northway Christian Community

For complete details visit www.YuletideInSewickley.com.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.18/12.25.2013

[FOLK ROCK] + SAT., DEC. 21

{PHOTO COURTESY OF RYAN WISNIEWSKI}

Jenny Parrott and Vaughn Walters were both accomplished musicians (he with Dynamite Tales, she in Shotgun Party) before teaming up in 2010 and writing songs together under the name Loves It. The Austin-based duo is now on tour promoting its second album, All We Are, which was released in October. Rooted in folk traditions, the duo’s music is a modern combination of country, gospel, swing and punk. The songs are simple and charming, with effortless vocal harmonies over guitar, fiddle and banjo backing. The duo will perform tonight at Howlers Coyote Café with local folk group The Armadillos.

Allison Cosby 9 p.m. 4509 Liberty Ave., Bloomfield. $5. 412-682-0320 or www.howlers coyotecafe.com

After two years of playing professional basketball in England, folk singersongwriter Mike Medved decided it was time to come home to Pittsburgh, be close to his family and focus on his music. He has since released a debut EP with his Pittsburgh-based band; they are currently working on their first studio album.

Medved also will be playing tonight at Club Café at a concert to benefit WTAE’s Project Bundle-Up, which helps senior citizens and children in need purchase winter clothing. The show will feature music from the EP as well as holiday classics. AC 10 p.m. 56 S. 12th St., South Side. $10. 412-431-4950 or www.clubcafelive.com

[POP-PUNK] + SAT., DEC. 21

Earlier this year, The SpacePimps released their fourth full-length, Eternal Boy; the Pittsburghbased, internationally known pop-punk trio also toured China. Tonight at Altar Bar, the band celebrates 10 years of electric-guitar hooks, songs about girls and parties, and answering to the name “The SpacePimps.” It’s a celebration for the ages, and includes openers Patent Pending, The Switch Kids, Before You and The Skunk 11. It’s worth checking out since the band doesn’t play locally all that often. Next time The SpacePimps hit the stage here, temperatures in Pittsburgh will probably finally be inching above the freezing mark. Andy Mulkerin 7 p.m.

1620 Penn Ave., Strip District. $10-12. All ages. 412-206-9719 or www.thealtarbar.com

Loves It

[INDIE ROCK] + SUN., DEC. 22

On Mansions’ new album, Doom Loop, the band accomplishes what guitarist and singer Christopher Browder set out to do: make a loud, no-holds-barred rock record. Browder, along with bandmate Robin Dove, has created an album of straightforward guitar rock that’s reminiscent of a lot of early-’00s indie — melodic, but with punk roots. It’s nice winter music, which is good, because the band is hitting the Smiling Moose on Christmas Eve Eve Eve, along with openers Imperial Railway, Cape Cod and Driver. AM 6:30 p.m. 1306 E. Carson St., South Side. All ages. $10-12. 412-431-4668 or www.smiling-moose.com

BUY, SELL & TRADE - NEW AND USED!

WE KNOW

TO SUBMIT A LISTING: HTTP://HAPPENINGS.PGHCITYPAPER.COM

412.316.3388 (FAX) + 412.316.3342 X194 (PHONE)

{ALL LISTINGS MUST BE SUBMITTED BY 9 A.M. FRIDAY PRIOR TO PUBLICATION} Harmony. 570-294-6450.

CLAIRTON AMERICAN ALTAR BAR. The Spacepimps.

LEGION. Daniels & McClain.

Strip District. 412-263-2877.

Clairton. 412-233-9903.

BEAVER FALLS TURNERS CLUB. 31ST STREET PUB. The Midnight CLUB CAFE. The Pump Fakes.

The Dave Iglar Band. Beaver Falls.

Ghost Train, Outside/Inside, Perish.

South Side. 412-431-4950.

724-843-7576.

Strip District. 412-391-8334.

CLUB COLONY. John Sarkis.

BLOOMFIELD BRIDGE TAVERN. CIOPPINO SEAFOOD Scott. 412-668-0903.

One Gig at a Time, Cosmic CHOPHOUSE BAR. Terrance THE HANDLE Radio. Bloomfield.

Vaughn Trio. Strip District.

BAR & GRILLE. 412-682-8611.

412-281-6593.

LOCAL. Canonsburg.

BRILLOBOX. Pandemic, CLUB CAFE. Frank Vieira, Dawn 724-746-4227.

DJ J.Malls, Beagle Savage, Tom O’Connor. South Side.

HARD ROCK CAFE. www. per Brothers. Bloomfield.

412-431-4950. a p Lucky Me, Chip pghcitym 412-621-4900.

SMILING MOOSE. The Venetia o .c Dimonick. Station CIP’S. The Good Guys.

Fair, Storm The Bay. South Side.

Square. 412-481-7625.

Dormont. 412-668-2335.

412-431-4668.

HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. Son CLUB CAFE. Bill Eberle, THUNDERBIRD CAFE. Slim of Bitch, Loves It, The Armadillos, Justin Endler, Wreck Loose Forsythe’s Rockin’ Gospel Hour, Bryan McQuaid. Son of Bitch EP Re- (Early) The Mike Medved Band Paul Labrise & the Trees, lease. Bloomfield. 412-682-0320.

Christmas Show (Late). Benefiting Molly Alphabet, Chet Vincent NIED’S HOTEL. The Turbosonics, Project Bundle-Up. South Side. & the Big Bend. Lawrenceville.

Slim Forsythe. Lawrenceville.

412-431-4950.

412-682-0177.

412-781-9853.

DOWNEY’S HOUSE. The Jukebox WOOLEY BULLY’S. Dave Iglar Band. Robinson. 412-489-5631.

Band. New Brighton. 724-494-1578. OLIVER’S POURHOUSE. FOLI’S PLACE. E-Z Action.

The Regular Joes. Greensburg.

Wilkinsburg. 412-371-4122.

724-836-7687.

HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. SALATINO’S RIVERHOUSE CAFE. THE CENTER OF HARMONY. Moldies & Monsters, Paddy The Jeff Campbell & Megan Slankard.

Tony Janflone Jr. 724-565-5700.

Wanderer. Howlers Howliday Party feat. Christmas carol sing along, free food, donation to Toys 4 Tots.

Bloomfield. 412-682-0320.

MARKET SQUARE. King’s Ransom. Downtown.

412-471-1511.

SILKS LOUNGE AT THE MEADOWS. Bon Journey (Jovi/ Journey tribute). Washington.

THUNDERBIRD CAFE. Ck9 & the Old E Allstars. Lawrenceville.

412-682-0177. @MacMiller (Mac Miller) THE WAC CLUB. Daniels & McClain. Clairton. 412-233-4058.

WATERWORKS GREENSBURG. Lucky Me. Greenfield. 724-216-5408.

GUITARS

SAT 21

ROCK/POP THU 19

GUITARS - BASSES - UKES AMPS - LESSONS - REPAIRS

FULL LIST E N O LIN

1305 E. CARSON ST.

SOUTH SIDE 412.431.0700 HOURS: MON-THU 11AM-8PM FRI-SAT 11AM-5PM

SPECIAL HOLIDAY HOURS: SUNDAY NOON-5PM ‘TIL CHRISTMAS!

FRI 20

PITTSBURGHGUITARS.COM

LOCAL TWEETS

Recent dispatches from the music Twittersphere

#LiveFromSpace comes out tonight

The City’s Hottest Live Music Scene!

SUN 22

BUY TICKETS NOW AT JERGELS.COM

HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. Reinforced, The Lopez, SFX, Mind Tiger. Festivus IX celebration.

Bloomfield. 412-682-0320.

JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE. Tarra Layne, Southside American.

Warrendale. 724-614-4802.

THE RIVER AT NEW HEIGHTS CHURCH. Joy Ike. . 412-741-0598.

SMILING MOOSE. Mansions.

South Side. 412-431-4668.

@MacMiller (Mac Miller)

Tweet something that has nothing to do with the live album then use the hashtag #LiveFromSpace

MON 23 HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. Guests of Guest, Locks & Dams, Bryan McQuaid. Guests of Guest EP release. Bloomfield. 412-682-0320.

@MacMiller (Mac Miller)

this hot cocoa is so good. #LiveFromSpace

TUE 24 THE HANDLE BAR & GRILLE. Michael Todd. Canonsburg.

724-884-5944.

103 Slade Lane Warrendale, PA 15086

724.799.8333 JERGELS.com

CONTINUES ON PG. 32

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CONCERTS, CONTINUED FROM PG. 31

THE HANDLE BAR & GRILLE. Sputzy Sparacino. Canonsburg.

724-746-4227.

DJS THU 19 BELVEDERE’S. Neon w/ DJ hatesyou. 80s Night. Lawrenceville.

412-687-2555.

CLUB TABOO. DJ Matt & Gangsta Shak. Homewood. 412-969-0260.

PARK HOUSE. Jx4. North Side.

412-224-2273.

PERLE CHAMPAGNE BAR. Bobby D. Downtown. 412-471-2058.

SMILING MOOSE. Bill Bara, Mad Mike, TyFun, Rick Diculous. South Side. 412-478-3863.

FRI 20 BACKSTAGE BAR AT THEATRE SQUARE. Salsa Fridays. DJ Jeff Shirey, DJ Carlton, DJ Paul Mitchell.

Downtown. 412-456-6666.

CAPRI PIZZA AND BAR. Bombo Claat Friday’s Reggae. East Liberty.

412-362-1250.

LAVA LOUNGE. 80’s Alternative.

DJ Electric. South Side. 412-431-5282.

ONE 10 LOUNGE. DJ Goodnight, DJ Rojo. Downtown. 412-874-4582.

ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance.

South Side. 412-431-2825.

RUGGER’S PUB. 80s Night w/ DJ Connor. South Side. 412-381-1330.

SAT 21 CAPRI PIZZA AND BAR. Saturday Night Meltdown. Top 40, Hip

Hop, Club, R&B, Funk & Soul.

East Liberty. 412-362-1250.

DIESEL. DJ CK. South Side.

412-431-8800.

REMEDY. Push It! DJ Huck Finn, DJ Kelly Fasterchild. Lawrenceville.

412-781-6771.

ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance.

South Side. 412-431-2825.

S BAR. Pete Butta. South Side.

412-481-7227.

SUN 22 SMILING MOOSE. The Upstage Nation. DJ EzLou & N8theSk8.

Electro, post punk, industrial, new wave, alternative dance. South Side. 412-431-4668.

ROCK/COUNTRY

PAUL LABRISE & THE TREES, AND MOLLY ALPHABET FRI, DEC. 20 • 9PM

CUSTOMER APPRECIATION FREE SHOW!

THE PAWNBROKERS CLASSIC/JUMP BLUES

SAT, DEC. 21 • 9PM FUNK/SOUL

CK9 AND THE OLD E ALLSTARS

REUNION SHOW MON, DEC. 23 • 9PM OPEN STAGE WITH

SGD

NEW YEARS EVE PARTY! WITH CITY DWELLING NATURE SEEKERS AND WRECKLOOSE OPEN FOR LUNCH

Kitchen Hours: Sun - Th open til 12am Fri & Sat open til 1am

4023 BU TLER ST LAWREN CEVILLE 412.682.017 7

THU 19 THE HOP HOUSE. Yoho’s Yinzide Out. Green Tree. 412-922-9560.

HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. Chelsea Nicole & The Northside Vamps, DJ Gordy. Chelsea Nicole & The Northside Vamps EP Release.

Bloomfield. 412-682-0320.

SLOPPY JOE’S. Wil E. Tri & the Bluescasters. Mt. Washington.

412-381-4300.

FRI 20 JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. The Blues Orphans.

North Side. 412-904-3335.

NOLA ON THE SQUARE. John Gresh Gris Gris. Downtown.

412-471-9100.

THUNDERBIRD CAFE. The Pawnbrokers. Lawrenceville.

412-682-0177.

WESTMORELAND CITY VFD. Bobby Hawkins Back Alley Blues.

SAT 21 MAD MEX. Lazy Samurai.

Robinson. 740-317-8322.

MOONDOG’S. Nick Moss & the Flip Tops. Blawnox. 412-828-2040.

OLIVER’S POURHOUSE. Gary Rahl. Greensburg. 724-836-7687.

THE R BAR. The Rumpshakers.

Dormont. 412-942-0882.

ROCKY’S ROUTE 8. Billy Price &

www.thunderbirdcafe.net

32

ELWOOD’S PUB. The Unknown String Band. . 724-265-1181.

SEWICKLEY HOTEL. Jay Wiley.

Sewickley. 412-741-5804.

St. Vincent

SAT 21

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.18/12.25.2013

FISHER’S BAR & RESTAURANT. Jay Wiley. Zelienople.

724-452-1350.

OLIVE OR TWIST. The Vagrants.

Downtown. 412-255-0525.

{FRI., MARCH 7}

Cibo Matto

SUN 22

Club Café, 56 S. 12th St., South Side

MANSIONS ON FIFTH. Mark Flahery. Shadyside.

{SAT., MARCH 22}

The War on Drugs

WED 25 ALLEGHENY ELKS LODGE #339.

Pittsburgh Banjo Club. Wednesdays.

North Side. 412-321-1834.

PARK HOUSE. Bluegrass Jam w/ The Shelf Life String Band.

North Side. 412-224-2273.

Altar Bar, 1620 Penn Ave., Strip District {FRI., APRIL 11}

HIP HOP/R&B

BLUES SLIM FORSYTHE,

FRI 20

BLOOMFIELD BRIDGE TAVERN. Fuzz! Drum & bass weekly.

Bloomfield. 412-682-8611.

CABARET AT THEATER SQUARE. Ritmo Wednesdays. DJ Juan Diego, DJ Carla. Downtown. 412-325-6769.

SPOON. Spoon Fed. Hump day chill. House music. aDesusParty.

East Liberty. 412-362-6001.

SAT 21

CABARET AT THEATER SQUARE. Hello Donny: A Showtunes Sing-Along. http://trustarts.culturaldistrict. org/event/3941/hello-donny-ashowtunes-sing-along. Downtown.

412-325-6769.

DOWNEY’S HOUSE. Jay Wiley.

Robinson. 412-489-5631.

SEVICHE. Jason Kendall & Jim Graff. Downtown. 412-697-3120.

WED 25

REX THEATER. Keys & Krates.

South Side. 412-381-6811.

WED 25

OMNI WILLIAM PENN. Frank Cunimondo/Pat Crossley.

Downtown. 412-553-5235.

THU 19

SMILING MOOSE. Bill Bara, Mad Mike, TyFun, Rick Diculous.

South Side. 412-478-3863.

FRI 20

WED 25

ACOUSTIC

TUE 24

MR. SMALLS THEATER. Pretty Krissy Ft. Shawna, Joey Fattz Ft. WAMO DJ Tito XL, T-Boe, more.

Millvale. 866-468-3401.

THURS, DEC. 19 • 9PM

EARLY WARNINGS {PHOTO COURTESY OF RENATA RAKSHA}

WED 25

St. Vincent

Stage AE, 400 North Shore Drive, North Side the Lost Minds. . 412-487-6259.

TUGBOAT’S. Mystic Knights Trio.

East Pittsburgh. 412-829-1992.

WINTZELL’S OYSTER HOUSE. Shot O’ Soul. West Mifflin. 412-650-9090.

WED 25 THE R BAR. Yoho’s Yinzide Out. Dormont. 412-942-8842.

JAZZ THU 19

ANDYS. Tania Grubbs. Downtown.

412-773-8884.

CJ’S. Roger Humphries & The RH Factor. Strip District. 412-642-2377.

LITTLE E’S. Jessica Lee & Friends.

Entrepreneurial Thursdays.

Downtown. 412-392-2217.

FRI 20 ANDYS. Dane Vannatter.

Downtown. 412-773-8884.

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Jimmy Sapienza & 5 Guys Named Moe. North Side.

412-904-3335.

LITTLE E’S. The Ken Karsh Trio.

Downtown. 412-392-2217.

MARVA JO’S BISTRO. The Tony Campell Band. McKeesport.

412-664-7200.

OMNI WILLIAM PENN. Frank Cunimondo/Pat Crossley.

Downtown. 412-553-5235.

SILKS LOUNGE AT THE MEADOWS. Dr. Zoot. Washington.

SAT 21 ANDYS. Bronwyn Wyatt Sandy Dowe & Eric Susoeff. Downtown.

412-773-8884.

WORLD THU 19

BACKSTAGE BAR AT SEVICHE. Geña y Peña & Preach THEATRE SQUARE. Jeremy Freedom. Downtown. 412-697-3120.

Fisher Trio, Kristan Mancini Fisher.

Downtown. 412-325-6769.

CIOPPINO SEAFOOD MARTY’S MARKET. Jon Banuelos.

CHOPHOUSE BAR. Roger Strip District. 412-586-7177.

Barbour Jazz Quartet. Strip District.

412-281-6593.

CJ’S. The Tony Campbell Saturday CARNEGIE LIBRARY, OAKLAND. Jazz Jam Session. Strip District.

World Kaleidoscope: Klezlectic.

412-642-2377.

Oakland. 412-622-3151.

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. John C. Hall Band. North Side.

412-904-3335.

LITTLE E’S. Velvet PITTSBURGH Heat. Downtown.

PLAYWRIGHTS 412-392-2217.

THEATRE. The Flow MARVA JO’S BISTRO. Band. Downtown. . w ww per The Tony Campell 412-867-0150. a p ty ci pgh m Band. McKeesport. .co 412-664-7200.

NOLA ON THE SQUARE. Satin Hearts. Downtown.

412-471-9100.

ELWOOD’S PUB. The Fiddlers.

724-265-1181.

FRI 20

SUN 22

REGGAE FRI 20

FULL LIST ONLINE

COUNTRY

THU 19

SUN 22

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Jeff Bernam Quartet.

North Side. 412-904-3335.

OMNI WILLIAM PENN. Frank Cunimondo. Downtown.

412-553-5235.

SONOMA GRILLE. Lee Robinson.

Downtown. 412-697-1336.

SAT 21

MON 23

THU 19

FIFTH AVENUE PLACE. Roger Barbour Jazz Quartet. Downtown.

DEL’S RESTAURANT. Marco Fiorante. Bloomfield. 412-683-1448.

TUE 24

FRI 20

ANDYS. Don DePaolis.

Downtown. 412-773-8884.

LEMONT. Judi Figel.

Mt. Washington. 412-431-3100.

THE BLACK HORSE TRAIL PUB & GRILLE. The Christian Beck Band.

Bridgeville. 412-221-9785.

HARVEY WILNER’S. Dallas Marks.

West Mifflin. 412-466-1331.

OTHER MUSIC

HOLIDAY MUSIC THU 19 BRIDGEVILLE PUBLIC LIBRARY. The Joe Negri Trio w/ Anne Winters & Kim Losego. Bridgeville.

412-221-3737.

HEINZ HALL. Richard Nader’s Pittsburgh Holiday Doo Wop Show.

Downtown. 412-392-4900.

SCOTTISH RITE CATHEDRAL. Holiday Pops w/ The Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra. New Castle.

412-392-4900.

FRI 20 FIRST PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH. Greg & Rebecca Sparks w/ Friends.

Downtown. 412-471-3436.

HEINZ HALL. Highmark Holiday Pops. feat. the Mendelssohn Choir. Downtown.

412-392-4900.

MISSIONARY TEMPLE MINISTRIES. Christmas Cantata: Born to Save. East Liberty.

412-362-3656.

MULLANEY’S HARP & FIDDLE. Tim & John Christmas Singalong.

Strip District. 412-642-6622.

ST. JAMES PARISH. Chatham Baroque. Notte di Natale: pastoral music of J. S. Bach, Buxtehude & Scarlatti. Sewickley.

888-718-4253.

SAT 21 HEINZ HALL. Highmark Holiday Pops. feat. the Mendelssohn Choir. Downtown.

412-392-4900.

PALACE THEATRE. Westmoreland Symphony Orchestra. Home for the Holidays. Greensburg.

724-836-8000.

SYNOD HALL. Chatham Baroque.

Notte di Natale: pastoral music of J. S. Bach, Buxtehude & Scarlatti.

Oakland. 888-718-4253.

UPPER ST. CLAIR HIGH SCHOOL. Pittsburgh Civic Orchestra: Russian & Rusyn Christmas. Upper St. Clair.

412-279-4030.

SUN 22 CHATHAM UNIVERSITY. Chatham Baroque. Notte di Natale: pastoral music of J. S. Bach, Buxtehude & Scarlatti. Shadyside.

888-718-4253.

MON 23 HAMBONE’S. Tim & John Christmas Singalong.

Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318.

TENDER BAR + KITCHEN. A Boilermaker Jazz Christmas.

Lawrenceville. 412-402-9522.

The 5th Judicial District of Christmas Eve Candlelight Services with Dr. Kurt Bjorklund Thursday, Dec. 19, 7:00 pm Monday, Dec. 23, 5:00, 7:00 and 9:00 pm Friday, Dec. 20, 7:00 pm Tuesday, Dec. 24, 11:00 am; 1:00, 3:00, 5:00, 7:00 and 9:00 pm Saturday, Dec. 21, 7:00 pm

Pennsylvania and Allegheny County Pretrial Services urges you to enjoy

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your weekend out in Pittsburgh but

make the right choice,

don’t drink and drive.

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What to do December 18 - 24 WEDNESDAY 18

$7 cover. 8p.m.

ALTAR BAR Strip District. 412263-2877. With special guest Ground Up & more. All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 7p.m.

CLUB CAFE South Side.

412-431-4950. With special guests Dawn Savage & Tom O’Connor. Over 21 show.

Tickets: ticketweb.com/ opusone. 8p.m.

Hi-Rez

Michael Bolton Holiday and Hits HEINZ HALL Downtown.

412-392-4900. Tickets: pittsburghsymphony.org.

7:30p.m.

Anamanaguchi MR. SMALLS THEATRE Millvale. 412-821-4447.

All ages show. Tickets: 866468-3401 or ticketweb.com/ opusone. 8p.m.

SATURDAY 21 The Spacepimps

ALTAR BAR Strip District.

412-263-2877. With special guest Patent Pending, The Switch Kids & more. All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 7p.m.

IMPROV Waterfront. Tickets: improv.com or 412-462-5233.

Through Dec. 21.

The Clintones JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE Warrendale. 724-799-8333. $7 cover. 9p.m.

FRIDAY 20

Jeff Campbell & Megan Slankard Concert

The Mike Medved Band Project Bundle-Up Benefit

THE CENTER OF HARMONY Harmony. Tickets: thecenterofharmony.com or $15 at the door. 8p.m.

JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE Warrendale. 724-799-8333.

CLUB CAFE South Side.

412-431-4950. With special guests Goodbrother Earl & more. Over 21 show. Tickets:

special guests Pretty Krissy ft.

Shawnna. All ages show. Tickets: 866-468-3401 or ticketweb. com/opusone. 10p.m.

ticketweb.com/opusone.

7p.m.

Bruce Bruce

The Pump Fakes

Scott, Rob & Greg of the Clarks

IN PITTSBURGH

Frank Vieira

THURSDAY 19.

PAID ADVERTORIAL SPONSORED BY

CLUB CAFE South Side.

412-431-4950. Over 21 show.

Tickets: ticketweb.com/ opusone. 10:15p.m.

MICHAEL BOLTON HOLIDAY AND HITS

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 18 HEINZ HALL

The ‘Hannibal PK’ Official Release Party MR. SMALLS THEATRE Millvale.

412-821-4447. With

SUNDAY 22

Winter Light Garden and Flower Show PHIPPS CONSERVATORY Oakland. For more info visit phipps.conservatory.org.

Through Jan. 12.

MONDAY 23 People’s Gas Holiday Market

MARKET SQUARE Downtown.

Free event. For more info visit downtownpittsburgh.com/ holidays. 11a.m.

TUESDAY 24 Christmas with The Rat Pack

HEINZ HALL Downtown. 412392-4900. Tickets: trustarts. org. Through Dec. 29.

Download the fun & free CP HAPPS APP To find the most popular events in Pittsburgh Available on the App Store and Google Play.

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GIVE HUNGER THE BOOT! Now - December 31 WEXFORD

10616 PERRY HWY 724-940-2400

WATERFRONT 112 W. BRIDGE ST 412-464-1002

OAKLAND

3810 FORBES AVE 412-697-1333 FACEBOOK.COM/ NEWBALANCEPGH

34

Bring in ANY 3 Non-Perishable food items and receive a $20 Gift Certificate good towards your regular priced footwear purchase of $100 or more at Gordon Shoes or any of our 3 New Balance Pittsburgh locations.

Benefits GREATER PITTSBURGH COMMUNITY FOOD BANK

WINTER CLEARANCE 40-60% OFF!

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.18/12.25.2013

at the Waterfront 108 WEST BRIDGE ST. 412-464-1007

www.gordonshoes.com Facebook.com/GordonShoes

IN-BETWEEN DAYS

THE COENS MIGHT HAVE INVENTED A NEW GENRE: THE AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL DREAM FILM

{BY AL HOFF} Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman), Gandalf (Ian McKellen) and crew continue their looonnng journey in The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, Part 2 of Peter Jackson’s three-part adaptation of J.R.R. Tolkien’s adventure novel. If you’re a Tolkien-by-way-of-Jackson fan, presumably no film can be too long, but for citizens like myself, this middle outing to Middle Earth fell somewhere between pointless and interminable.

Swordplay: Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman) on defense

That’s not to say it isn’t mildly entertaining, but this episode quickly falls into a pattern of our heroes getting chased, fighting something (giant spiders, elves, orcs) and then moving on to a new location to repeat this set-up. (Is it a video game yet?)

While there is some attempt at advancing the meaningful parts of the plot (who hates who, what the goals are), much of Smaug feels like padding to keep the fans in their seats until they gotta cough up another $10 for the conclusion.

As if Jackson were shaking out his closet of curious creatures, dramatic landscapes and odd comic bits into a big oh-just-watchthis-while-we-finish-up-the-best-part jumble. Characters are shifted into place for Part 3 (one or two of them are literally held in place), and the big highlight is the unveiling of the dragon Smaug in all his fearsome, monologuing CGI glory. You could probably skip Part 2, but I know you won’t: See you all at the final showdown.

In 3-D in select theaters.

AHOFF@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

JUSTIN BIEBER’S EBER’S

BELIEVE EVE E.

Some of you can’t an’t get enough of the fresh-faced Canadian dian pop singer who lately tely has been providing ga lot of amusing ng fodder for TMZ. Z. For you Beliebers this Christmas, a new behind-the-scenes doc from m Jon M. Chu. Starts ts Wed., Dec. 25 5

Llewyn Davis (Oscar Isaac) rests between songs.

{BY HARRY KLOMAN}

W

H ERE TO BEGI N? The Coen brothers’ Inside Llewyn Davis is a joy to watch: funny, sad, intellectual, sentimental, humane, nostalgic and with some glorious music, some of it traditional, some of it gentle modern tweaks. I’m still smiling from having seen it, and I’ll continue to smile until I see it again.

The title character (portrayed by Oscar Isaac) is an idealistic folk singer Os living in Greenwich Village in 1961, liv and an by idealistic, I mean he’s a prick: He scorns his colleagues, who deign to sing sco poppy commercial folk songs, rather po than tha the doleful ballads he prefers. And yet, yet these maligned friends let him sleep on their couches because he’s homeless, and an because they know he’s struggling after aft an insurmountable loss.

The Coens lay plenty of hardships on Llewyn, although rare in their canon, Lle they the don’t eviscerate him (literally or figuratively).

There’s no blood and only one ura beating, plus lots of period atmosphere be

in clubs and apartments and subways, and lots of oddball characters, some resembling folk singers of the era (Llewyn is based loosely on Dave Van Ronk), and others delightful fabrications.

INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS DIRECTED BY: Ethan and Joel Coen STARRING: Oscar Isaac, Justin Timberlake, John Goodman, Adam Driver Starts Fri., Dec. 20

CP APPROVED Inside Llewyn Davis is thoroughly not a Coen brothers movie, except that it thoroughly is. The brothers, Joel and Ethan, might have invented a new genre: the autobiographical dream film. Like their protagonist, they’re quirky, serious, uncompromising artists, and Joel will be 60 next year. They seem to be contemplating their own unlikely success, and maybe they have the same hopes for the woefully obdurate Llewyn.

The supporting cast — Justin Timberlake, John Goodman, Adam Driver, Stark Sands, Carey Mulligan — is glorious, and there’s a long comic set piece with a cat early on that’s the funniest sequence in the Coens’ oeuvre. It launches an extended metaphor about Llewyn and an extended joke that keeps on giving.

Like O Brother, Where Art Thou?, this is an Odyssian yarn. Like A Serious Man, its central character is resolute in his ideas and ideals. It bears no resemblance to Blood Simple, except that if the Coens never make another movie, their filmography will be framed by two perfect and exhilarating works.

Inside Llewyn Davis opens in a café with Llewyn performing, mostly in closeup, “Hang Me, Oh Hang Me,” a mournful folk song that Van Ronk once recorded. It ends with a sort of metaphysical do-over that will either thrill you, irritate you or leave you confused. Every single moment provokes an emotion, and every moment provokes a cascade of ideas. Where to begin?

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FILM CAPSULES CP Purple Rain (1984) - 12/19 Doors @ 6:30, movie @ 8 -

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AMERICAN HUSTLE. A film about misrepresentations naturally opens with a lengthy scene of Christian Bale’s character sculpting the toupee/comb-over extravaganza that covers his balding head. But he’s just the first of the shape-shifting players we meet in David O. Russell’s entertaining but glib roundelay of scams, dreams, sex and wide lapels, set in New York City, in 1978.

We met Irving Rosenfeld (Bale) while he’s running a loan scam with Sydney Prosser (Amy Adams). The two are busted by FBI agent Richie DiMaso (Bradley Cooper); to avoid prosecution, they agree to help him set up some bigger fish.

Once the game is underway, the operation grows to include Rosenfeld’s wife (Jennifer Lawrence), a New Jersey mayor (Jeremy Renner), Congressmen and the mafia.

A who’s-zooming-who tale is always fun, though this one goes on too long and suffers from multiple voice-overs that come and go. The film has some awesome star power, and some fun performances, but that is often another of its distractions: I felt like I was watching well-known actors simply reprise popular roles (Louis C.K.’s shlub, Adams’ cunning pixie, an unsurprising cameo as a mobster).

“Some of this is true,” the opening title states. For you old heads, Abscam is namechecked and some elements of the film have their origins in that real-life sting/investigation.

But prior knowledge isn’t necessary, since the embellishment — the more personal machinations and motivations of these colorful, outsized characters — is where Russell has put his emphasis. A lot of folks are talking about the film’s ’70s hair and clothes, which might give you some indication of how Hustle relies on surface charms. But for amusing times this holiday, you could do worse. Starts Fri., Dec. 20 (Al Hoff)

A celebration of all things Prince!

Gremlins (1984) - 12/20 @ 7&915pm, 12/22 @ 3pm (3PM

show featuring Gizmo creator and puppeteer Valerie Sofranko!), 12/24 @ 4pm

------------------------------------------------------------------------------Holiday Sing-a-Long - 12/21 @ 2pm -

Featuring Wayne Hawthorne on the theater organ!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------SLC Punk (1998) - 12/21 @ 7pm ------------------------------------------------------------------------------FILMAGE (The Story of Descendents/ALL) (2013) - 12/21 @ 10pm -------------------------------------------------------------------------------

White Christmas (1954) - 12/22 @ 11:30am & 7pm (7pm show free for members!), 12/23 @ 2pm, 12/24 @ 7pm (free popcorn with ticket!)

1449 Potomac Avenue, Dormont 412.563.0368 www.thehollywooddormont.org

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Our studies change regularly and we may have a study that’s right for you. Please call

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Walking With Dinosaurs 3-D ANCHORMAN 2: THE LEGEND CONTINUES. The 1970s San Diego anchorman Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell) moves on to a 24-hour news channel in New York City. Also, it is now the ’80s. Steve Carell and Paul Rudd costar; Adam McKay directs.

JUNE JEFFRIES PASTOR/ ENTREPRENEUR/ WRITER/ PCTV COMMUNITY PRODUCER

June uses her show to bring enlighten knowledge ge to the ears of leaders & residents in our city.

What will you do with your show?

Take our FREE on-line orientation now at www.PCTV21.org PITTSBURGH COMMUNITY TELEVISION

412-322-7570

47 RONIN. Carl Rinsch directs this samurai actioner loosely adapted from the eponymous Japanese folk tale. Keanu Reeves stars as Kai, a half-Japanese, half-British warrior who is recruited into a revenge campaign. In English, and Japanese, with subtitles. Starts Wed., Dec. 25

WATCH:

He That Hath An Ear SUNDAYS AT 11 PM COMCAST 21, VERIZON 47

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= CITY PAPER APPROVED

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.18/12.25.2013

GRUDGE MATCH. In this comedy from Peter Segal, a pair of retired boxers (Robert DeNiro, Sylvester Stallone) are coaxed out of retirement for one last fight to settle their long-

Saving Mr. Banks running rivalry. Starts Wed., Dec. 25 MANDELA: LONG WALK TO FREEDOM. Idris Elba stars as Nelson Mandela, the South African civil-rights activist, who transcended a lengthy imprisonment to become president. Justin Chadwick directs this biopic adapted from Mandela’s autobiography. Starts Wed., Dec. 25 SAVING MR. BANKS. John Lee Hancock’s biodramedy tells how a book about super-nanny Mary Poppins was turned into a movie. The conflict concerns Walt Disney (Tom Hanks) breaking down the opposition of author P.L. Travers (Emma Thompson), intercut with a heavy-handed subplot about Travers’ childhood in Australia. The film is sentimental, but the flashbacks are particularly lachrymose, ensnaring poor Ruth Wilson and Colin Farrell as Travers’ woeful parents.

In essence, this Disney film is a meta-text on how the Disney machine takes perfectly good works and runs them through its mill to make them sweeter, sappier and more gimmicky (adding song, dance and animation, for instance). I found it unnerving to watch as the paternal Disney has to help Travers understand her own work. (Also, Hanks’ avuncular Disney seems as much a fantasy creation as Poppins’ dancing penguins.)

Full disclosure: I’ve never seen Mary Poppins. I predate home video, and one could grow up without ever seeing a Disney film in then-rare theatrical releases. There was a book (which I read), and a popular Disney movie made of it, and maybe every bit of this crowd-pleasing backstory is true. But Disney has a well-documented record of adjusting the source material to suit its marketing needs (the actual ending of Hans Christian Andersen’s “Little Mermaid” may shock you), so I can’t say I buy any of this. But if you love the Mary Poppins movie, you’ll likely easily make the leap to Mr. Banks. Starts Fri., Dec. 20 (AH) THE SECRET LIFE OF WALTER MITTY. The mild-mannered Mr. Mitty escapes his dull life through fanciful daydreams. Ben Stiller stars and directs this adaptation of the James Thurber short story. Starts Wed., Dec. 25 WALKING WITH DINOSAURS 3-D. It’s all giant lizards and freaky birds in this prehistoric tale about an underdog dinosaur who becomes a hero. (Hey, maybe he ends up in a museum!) The animated 3-D film is directed by Barry Cook and Neil Nightingale, and features the voices of John Leguizamo and Justin Long. Starts Wed., Dec. 25 THE WOLF OF WALL STREET. The rise and fall of reallife stockbroker Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio) is the focus of this dramedy from Martin Scorsese. Starts Wed., Dec. 25

REPERTORY SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS. After watching a bunch of Earth TV shows, kids on Mars

“A beer geek’s paradise”

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selection of beer.

American Hustle start clamoring for Santa. So a couple of Martians head to Earth to kidnap him. Don’t worry, it all works out in this 1964 so-bad-it’s-good film, directed by Nicholas Webster. The Gothees play holiday music before the Dec. 18 screening. 7 p.m. Wed., Dec. 18, and 7 p.m. Thu., Dec. 19. Oaks IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE. Frank Capra’s beloved 1946 holiday classic, in which a harried man (Jimmy Stewart) rediscovers the simple joys of life, shows on the big screen. As a holiday gift to you, the screenings are free. Tell ’em Clarence sent you. Wed., Dec. 18-Sun., Dec. 22. Regent Square. Free PURPLE RAIN. If you’ve never seen this deliriously demented autobiographical vanity production about the Rise of Prince on the big screen, consider making a date. All his purple majesty’s highlights — riding his motorcycle, pitching a hissy fit, bleating out the title song and getting upstaged by Morris Day — deserve to be writ large. Albert Magnoli directs this 1984 cheese-o-classic. Tonight is a celebration of Prince, with music, prizes, art and the film. Doors opens at 6:30 p.m.; film at 8 p.m. Thu., Dec. 19. Hollywood

AMC Loews: 7:30 p.m. Thu., Dec. 19. Also, Oaks: 10 p.m. Fri., Dec. 20, and 10 p.m. Sat., Dec. 21. (AH) GREMLINS. The little furry guys sure are cute, but when the rules get broken, hordes of misbehaving gremlins get loose, unleashing comic mayhem on a small town. Joe Dante directs this 1984 comedy. 7 and 9:15 p.m. Fri., Dec. 20; 3 p.m. Sun., Dec. 22; and 4 p.m.

Tue., Dec. 24. Hollywood

Hundreds of craft and imported beers.

SLC PUNK. An amusing 1999 tale from James Merendino, mostly a series of vignettes, about a small band of punk rockers struggling to find community, breed anarchy and mostly just find something to do in the early ’80s in Salt Lake City, Utah. Our punk narrator, Steve-o (the charismatic Matthew Lillard) takes us to their parties, grubby living spaces and an occasional show, while pontificating about anarchy, ranting about Reagan and whining about various enemies — poseurs, heavy-metal heads, rednecks, cops, parents, boring people etc. Of course, middleclass Steve is just a poseur too — we dig it at once, and this lack of pretension makes SLC Punk so much more real than “serious” punk movies. (AH) 7 p.m.

Sat., Dec. 21. Hollywood. $10 ($18 for double-feature with Filmage)

Everything from Abita to Zywiec and in between.

Search our website to learn more about our beers.

FILMAGE: THE STORY OF THE DESCENDENTS/ALL. Deedle Lacour and Matt Riggle direct this new doc, which lays bare the story of punk band Descendents, as well as the troubles and obsessions of frontman Bill Stevenson, including his desire to achieve “ALL.” 9:30 p.m. Sat., Dec. 21. Hollywood. $10 ($18 for double-feature with SLC Punk)

White Christmas NATIONAL LAMPOON’S CHRISTMAS VACATION. For my money, the funniest entry in the “Vacation” franchise, because it taps a universal truth: Other people’s behavior ruins your holidays, while your behavior contributes to other people’s misery. It’s all about giving and getting! Everyman Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) tries to lay on the perfect Christmas, but is undercut by his low-rent cousin (Randy Quaid), uptight neighbors, demanding elderly relatives, his boss, a squirrel and a tangle of Christmas lights. Jeremiah S. Chechik directs this 1989 neo-classic holiday comedy, penned by John Hughes.

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WHITE CHRISTMAS. Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye are a pair of entertainers who travel to Vermont with two singing sisters (Rosemary Clooney and Vera-Ellen) for the holidays. Once there, the men discover the country inn is run by their old Army general, and he’s in financial straits. Looks like a big musical show might be the ticket! Besides the title song, Michael Curtiz’s 1954 film includes other Irving Berlin classics such as “Count Your Blessings Instead of Sheep” and “Blue Skies.” 11 a.m. and 7 p.m. Sun., Dec. 22; 2 p.m. Mon., Dec. 23 ($5); and 7 p.m. Dec. 24 (free popcorn). Hollywood

Special Offer $14.99 Yuengling Lager 24 12oz. cans

Offer good thru 12/31/13

PRETTY OLD. The beauty tyranny for women never stops … or does it? Walter Matteson’s doc looks at the Ms. Senior Sweetheart Pageant, held in Massachusetts, in which the ages of the participating ladies range from 67 to 84. 4 and 7 p.m. Thu., Dec. 26. Hollywood

4516 Browns Hill Road

Sq. Hill near the Waterfront 412.421.8550

ANDY WARHOL FILMS. Selections from Warhol’s Factory Diaries series (1971-75) and other shorts screen. Ongoing. Free with museum admission. Andy Warhol Museum, North Side. www.warhol.org

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[ART REVIEW]

“WHAT IF WE BECOME SO MANIPULABLE …

THAT WE’RE THE ROBOTS?”

APP-ENING {BY LISSA BRENNAN}

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

PRESENT continues through Dec. 28. The Gallery 4, 206 S. Highland Ave., Shadyside.

412-363-5050 or www.thegallery4.us

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{ILLUSTRATION BY JIM RUGG}

Erin Ko’s “Disconnected”

The title of Erin Ko’s interactive exhibition PRESENT, at The Gallery 4, can be interpreted in three distinct ways.

The first way reflects verb tense: PRESENT joins past and future through the travel of time as well as space. Works combine images of current technology, space-age musings on the future and the archeology of the ancient in a mash-up that hails graphic design of the atomic era and artifacts of the Stone Age, filtered through the appliances of right now.

Astronauts in lotus position hover in blurry galaxies and tumble in zero gravity; nuclear families don spacesuits and smile with pearly teeth in the brave new world of rocket launches and interplanetary exploration; slate tablets bear the fossilized echoes of long-departed creatures of bygone eras.

The next reading most simply means “being in attendance.” But here, that can transcend physical location to include being mentally tuned in and involved. Ko, who’s based in Mexico, has created an app that gallery visitors can download to their phones, iPads, etc., that transforms and animates the work, connecting the viewer to it in new ways.

(Visitors lacking personal devices may borrow in-house gadgets.) What appeared to be wall-mounted slabs of stone engage and vibrate with scrolling binary code.

Beaming cosmonauts link you to videos and songs. Triptychs turn into comic panels, with mutating voice bubbles narrating the tale. Fragments fall three-dimensionally onto the gallery floor like crumbling ruins, a Coke bottle explodes in effervescence and, in the pièce-de-résistance, a blackand-white world erupts with color, and a thrilling surprise visit will make the viewer giddy.

The final significance of the show’s appellation might not have entered the artist’s head, but certainly applies: “PRESENT” as in “gift.” The application you downloaded is now yours, and is not limited to usage for this particular show.

It allows you access to the secrets of Ko’s work in other exhibitions and print media, and, should you end up owning a work, permits you to see your art evolve: Ko has the ability to alter the programs from her end, so it’s entirely possible that one day your piece will do something different.

Since opening in 2010, The Gallery 4 has been steadily cementing its place as one of the most consistently intriguing visual-art venues in the area. PRESENT reinforces that reputation.

[BOOKS]

TO BOT OR NOT TO BOT? {BY BILL O’DRISCOLL}

I

LLAH NOU RBAKHSH studies and

designs robots for a living. But if you expect his new book, Robot Futures, to depict a care-free Tomorrowland of electronic butlers and automated fun, look elsewhere. The lively and accessible Robot Futures ($ 24.95, MIT Press) warns of a society warped by our relationships with a new “species” that knows more about us than we know about it … and whose representatives are often owned by someone profiting at our expense.

The problem, says Nourbakhsh, is that we’re racing into our Robot Future without considering the social, moral and legal implications. “We’re just stabbing blindly into it,” he says.

Take Amazon’s recent announcement that it’s testing drone delivery aircraft.

Where many see the next logical step in consumer satisfaction, Nourbakhsh perceives fresh tidings of “robot smog”: a condition where self-contained robots will be so ubiquitous — as toys, security devices, driverless cars — that they’ll be everything from nuisance to menace.

Nourbakhsh, a genial fellow who lives with his wife and two kids in Squirrel Hill,

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.18/12.25.2013

is a professor of robotics at Carnegie Mellon University. His career was launched partly by his adolescent enthusiasm for Star Wars androids C-3PO and R2-D2. Today, Nourbakhsh heads CMU’s robotics masters program and is widely enough known to have spoken about Robot Futures in Moscow.

Illah Nourbakhsh

Nourbakhsh stands out among roboticists by refusing to work on projects funded by the Department of Defense, a huge backer of robot research; he’s a member of the International Committee for Robot Arms Control. And he directs CMU’s Community Robotics, Education and Technology Empowerment lab, which explores empowering individuals and

communities with technology.

The robots that worry him aren’t CREATE projects like water-monitoring devices, or the robot-enabled photography initiative known as GigaPan. In fact, problematic robots are already more widespread, and insidious, than most people realize. Online, bots track our every cyber-move and then custom-post ads accordingly. Camera systems in video billboards track our behavior, too, learning what promotional techniques entice us most. “They’re getting better and better at observing us,” says Nourbakhsh.

“They can sell anybody anything.”

“What if we become so manipulable … [that] we’re the robots?” he asks.

We are also exploited as free online labor. Nourbakhsh recounts how Google chose its particular shade of blue by tracking the purchasing behavior of “hundreds of millions” of online users exposed to different hues. “We become mice in a grand experiment,” he says. “We’re not really the consumer any more. We’re the producer of the value.”

Each chapter of Robot Futures begins with a fictional scenario, depicting everything from a near-future of robot smog to

D R ISC OLL@ PGHC ITY PAP ER.CO M

Nourbakhsh blogs at www.robotfuturesbook. wordpress.com.

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FACE IT {BY ROBERT RACZKA}

Zanele Muholiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;Gazi T Zuma, Umlazi, Durbanâ&#x20AC;? {IMAGE COURTESY OF STEVENSON, CAPE TOWN AND JOHANNESBURG}

increasingly speculative (if technologically plausible) depictions of people using Google Glass-type devices to â&#x20AC;&#x153;beâ&#x20AC;? in multiple places at once, and of people temporarily transferring their consciousnesses into other human (or animal) bodies.

Nourbakhsh explores questions few have asked about such technology â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and not just how weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll cope with increased displacement of human laborers by worker bots. How, for instance, will we interact with robots who might â&#x20AC;&#x153;knowâ&#x20AC;? everything about us at a glance, via online databases?

How will we tell whether a given robot is autonomous or guided by a person, or some combination thereof? Whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s responsible if a partially autonomous robot harms someone? What if itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fully autonomous? And if we increasingly delegate mundane tasks to virtual assistants (descendants of todayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s smartphones), and they summon us for help only â&#x20AC;&#x153;as needed,â&#x20AC;? do we become the robots, disengaged from our own lives (a condition Nourbakhsh calls â&#x20AC;&#x153;attention dilution disorderâ&#x20AC;?)?

Robots are already widely used by the U.S. military. What if the human-controlled drones (which already kill innocents) could independently make kill/no-kill decisions? â&#x20AC;&#x153;This may be a line we should never cross,â&#x20AC;?

Nourbakhsh argues.

His most fundamental concern is dehumanization. As robots become â&#x20AC;&#x153;human,â&#x20AC;? will we treat robots more like people â&#x20AC;&#x201D; or people as disrespectfully as we might treat robots?

He also criticizes the popular ďŹ xation on what famed inventor and author Ray Kurzweil calls â&#x20AC;&#x153;the singularityâ&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D; the union of human and machine minds.

Nourbakhsh says that such technology, if itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s possible, is much further in the future than many believe. Meanwhile, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a big distraction: â&#x20AC;&#x153;We donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get that the challenges we face are much more clear and present.â&#x20AC;?

Nourbakhsh says robots can beneďŹ t society â&#x20AC;&#x201D; if more people understand how they work, and if the technology is not controlled only by corporations and government. That would require funding for communities and individuals to develop robots for more things like his CREATE lab does, such as environmental testing.

Once, Nourbakhsh told a colleague his concerns about robots, and the colleague said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;You hate technology. You should leave this ďŹ eld.â&#x20AC;?

But â&#x20AC;&#x153;thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s missing the point,â&#x20AC;? says Nourbakhsh. The technology itself is neither good nor bad. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The point Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m making is that we arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t having discourse as a society.â&#x20AC;?

South African photographer Zanele Muholi has been awarded the Fine Prize (a more recent, well-conceived complement to the longstanding Carnegie Prize), created to â&#x20AC;&#x153;honor an emerging artist in the Carnegie International.â&#x20AC;? A native of South Africa, Muholi travelled to Toronto for an MFA from Ryerson University before returning to Johannesburg, where she lives and works. With 10 yearsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; worth of accomplishments behind her â&#x20AC;&#x201D; including awards, solo exhibits and residencies in Johannesburg, Lagos and New York City, and at MIT â&#x20AC;&#x201D; you might think Muholi had already emerged, but these things are relative.

The awards jury selected Muholi for the Fine Prize on the basis of her project Faces and Phases (2007-13), which is represented in the International by 48 black-and-white photographic portraits of primarily African LGBTI individuals. (The â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;? is for intersex.) Muholi is a portrait photographer of great skill and sensitivity, and each of these portraits accomplishes what a portrait is capable of: showing us a moment in the life of a unique individual with a history and feelings.

That sense of individuality is heightened by Muholiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s use of a variety of poses in terms of bodily position and length (head and shoulders, half-length, etc.), along with nuances of lighting (flattering but not obsequious in the manner of commercial photographic portraits) and backgrounds that are highly varied yet never incongruous. In â&#x20AC;&#x153;Gazi T Zuma, Umlazi, Durban,â&#x20AC;? the subjectâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s humanity is conveyed through a complex facial expression and body language, including elements of what I read as guardedness and anger.

While each portrait can stand alone, four dozen of them add up to something more â&#x20AC;&#x201D; a cross-section, a community, a front â&#x20AC;&#x201D; potentially capable of shifting a viewerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s perspective. Self-described as a â&#x20AC;&#x153;visual activist,â&#x20AC;? Muholi aims to â&#x20AC;&#x153;redefin[e] the face of Africaâ&#x20AC;? through photography and film, and Faces and Phases gives visibility to black LGBTI communities, which is essential to the pursuit of justice; Muholi is particularly committed to fighting the violence against LGBTI people thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s prevalent in regions of South Africa. As a grid of portraits installed on each side of a black wall â&#x20AC;&#x201D; one of many successes of exhibition design in this Carnegie International, curated by Daniel Baumann, Dan Byers and Tina Kukielski â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Faces and Phases is a brilliant exercise of artistry and activism, each portrait confronting us with poise and dignity.

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THE

NUTCRACKER

DEC. 6-29, 2013 BENEDUM CENTER

TICKETS: 412.456.6666 ONLINE: PBT.ORG

'2/503 /& 3!6% 50 4/ s #!,, /2 %-!), '2/503!,%3 0)443"52'("!,,%4 /2'

2013 CARNEGIE INTERNATIONAL continues through March 16. Carnegie Museum of Art, 4400 Forbes Ave., Oakland.

412-622-3131 or www.cmoa.org

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T H E OS C A R - W I NNI NG F I LM

N O W ON S TA G E

{PHOTO BY HEATHER MULL}

Daina Michelle GrifďŹ th (foreground), with (from left to right) Alan Bomar Jones, Tony Bingham, Virginia Wall Gruenert, Linda Haston and Susie McGregor-Laine in Well, at Off the Wall Productions

[PLAY REVIEWS]

GETTING WELL {BY TED HOOVER} NO ONEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S EVER going to accuse Lisa Kron

of stinting on ideas in her 2006 Broadway play Well, now at Off the Wall Productions.

A mainstay of downtown New York theater, Kronâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s crafted much of her work from her familyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s backstory, which she does with Well â&#x20AC;Ś plus a whole lot more.

Here weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re introduced to Ann Kron, Lisaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mother, a progressive activist in the â&#x20AC;&#x2122;60s who also spent most of her life ill and almost incapacitated.

WELL

continues through Dec. 28. Off the Wall Productions, 25 W. Main St., Carnegie. $5-35.

888-718-4253 or www.insideoffthewall.com

TICKETS ON SALE NOW!

%&$&.#&3 +"/6"3: t )&*/; )"-GREAT GIFT IDEA!

53645"354 03( t #09 0''*$& "5 5)&"5&3 426"3& t (30614 5*$,&54

PNC Broadway Across America-Pittsburgh is a presentation of The Pittsburgh Cultural Trust, Pittsburgh Symphony and Broadway Across America.

OSCARÂŽ is the registered trademark and service mark of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. Photo by Joan Marcus.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.18/12.25.2013

How Lisa and, by extension, healthy people feel about the ill is a big chunk of Well. But Annâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s activism involved desegregation, so thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s also discussion about Americaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s racial politics. But mostly, Well is about Well. Lisa is writing the play as she and her company are performing it.

Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a lot going on and, speaking as a recovering playwright, I know it can be rough trying to keep everything together.

Which becomes another plot point: The piece spins out of Kronâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s control, with the actors breaking character and refusing to go on until the playwright ďŹ nds some cohesion.

The great thing is that all of what Kron has written is terriďŹ c; itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a funny, clever, theatrical mash-up of ideas and issues. Does it work as a play? I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t think so; thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s too much going on which is (purposefully) unresolved. But thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not a second youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d rather be watching anything else.

Melissa Hill Grande brings a passionate and precise direction to the production. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not her fault exactly that the event feels so unstructured â&#x20AC;Ś because structure is the last thing on Kronâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s agenda. The sheer volume of talent in the four-person supporting cast of Tony Bingham, Linda Haston, Alan Bomar Jones and Susie McGregor-Laine is so great youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re constantly wishing they had more to do.

Virginia Wall Gruenertâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s miraculous performance as Ann is as amazing as it is because itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all happening in miniature â&#x20AC;&#x201D; crafted from sidelong glances, barely audible sighs and slight tremors of emotion. And Daina Michelle GrifďŹ th is luminous as the wounded, loving and all-too-human daughter Lisa, trying to make sense of own her life. GrifďŹ th does a remarkable job making her journey through the play our journey as well.

I N F O@ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

DETECTIONS {BY F.J. HARTLAND} SHERLOCK HOLMES is one of ďŹ ctionâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most durable and resilient detectives. And for CONTINUES ON PG. 42

ed acts tagg

as

ack soul” “Throwdbley is…

In a sea of

Bra g. al thiPn st the rshein gton o -Wa

and His ires a Extraordin

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E V E S ’ R A E Y NEW

ADLILINNEE CCOONNCCEERRT HEEAD

ONSS ON TION TI ACTI AC TRAC TR ATTRACTI ATTR 50++ AT 50 ND 1150+ TH IS AAND O R THIS FOR N S FO UTTO NS ESS BBUTTO CCESS L L-AA C CE ALL AALL-AC

BOX OFFICE AT THEATER SQUARE t TRUSTARTS.ORG/FIRSTNIGHTPGH

412-456-6666 t PARTICIPATING GIANT EAGLE LOCATIONS

“...a welcome shock to the system...”

—Roberta Smith, The New York Times

Oct. 5, 2013–Mar. 16, 2014

Sponsored by

HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT THE ART? TOURS DAILY.

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Major support for the 2013 Carnegie International has been provided by the A. W. Mellon Charitable and Educational Fund, The Fine Foundation, the Jill and Peter Kraus Endowment for Contemporary Art, and The Henry L. Hillman Fund. Additional major support has been provided by The Friends of the 2013 Carnegie International. Major gifts and grants have also been provided by The Andy Warhol Foundation for the Visual Arts, Jill and Peter Kraus, Maja Oeri and Hans Bodenmann, Ritchie Battle, The Fellows of Carnegie Museum of Art, Marcia M. Gumberg, the National Endowment for the Arts, and The Pittsburgh Foundation.

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PLAY REVIEWS, CONTINUED FROM PG. 40

BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND!

the holiday, Pittsburgh Irish & Classical Theatre gives us a dose of Sherlock in The Crucifer of Blood.

Based on Arthur Conan Doyle’s novel The Sign of Four, and adapted for the stage by Paul Giovanni, the play had a Broadway run in the late 1970s and continues PICT’s practice of seasonending Holmes shows. The tale of revenge and murder starts in India and ends 30 years later in London. Along the way, chicanery is afoot.

THE CRUCIFER OF BLOOD

JANUARY 8–26, 2014

continues through Dec. 21. Pittsburgh Irish & Classical Theatre at the Stephen Foster Memorial, 4301 Forbes Ave., Oakland. $25-48. 412-561-6000 x207 or www.picttheatre.org.

WRITTEN AND PERFORMED

BY TAMI DIXON

DIRECTED BY MATT M. MORROW

BUY YOUR TICKETS TODAY! 412.431.CITY [2489] CityTheatreCompany.org

Ken Bolden and Jonathan Visser begin the play as a perfectly mismatched Mutt-and-Jeff pair whose actions incite the plot. Both do amazing jobs transforming themselves from British army officers to broken old men. Of the entire cast, Bolden is a real stand-out, meeting the physical challenges of the role head-on.

As Dr. Watson, Justin R.G. Holcomb gives a gentle and understated performance that ideally fits the character.

David Whalen, PICT’s go-to Holmes, is passable in the role.

In The Crucifer of Blood, Inspector Lestrade is played for laughs, and Daryll Heysham doesn’t miss a single one.

He gets assistance from costumer Joan Markert, who supplies Heysham with the perfect comical suit.

Scenic designer Johnmichael Bohach had the Herculean task of putting five different sets on the Charity Randall stage, and he succeeded. The sets are detailed, and move beautifully. The only hiccup is a rowboat which (from my seat, at least) looked cartoonish. And the night I saw the show, a large piece of the apron masking crashed to the ground.

Unfortunately, it occurred during a very quiet and intimate scene.

Director Matt Torney has paced the set changes very slowly and has chosen odd covers for them, like the one where Holmes pretends to play the violin. It went on so long that the audience began to chuckle. And the final set change all but gives away the ending of the play.

Crucifer is an odd but — at times — entertaining holiday gift.

I N F O@ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

bring your cheer bring your traditions bring your family There's always a lot to see during the holidays at Carnegie Museums of Art and Natural History!

Be inspired by the Holiday Trees, tour the 2013 Carnegie International, and view the life-like figurines of the Neapolitan presepio. And stop in our museum stores for unique and creative gifts!

Just coming to shop? Parking in our lot is free for the first 30 minutes.

Holidays at the museums is sponsored by

we x monday in 2014

the museums will be open mondays (closed tuesdays) in 2014. two of the four carnegie museums of pittsburgh

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.18/12.25.2013

NAUGHTY OR NICE, WICKED TICKETS MAKE A GREAT GIFT!

JANUARY 15 - FEBRUARY 9 BENEDUM CENTER HURRY FOR THE BEST SEATS Box Office at Theater Square Visit TrustArts.org or call 412-456-4800 Groups 15+ 412-471-6930

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Make The Holidays Jazzy The JazzLive PRESENTS Cabaret TheSessions JazzLive 2014 Cabaret Sessions 2014 February 11

Wycliffe Gordon & Sean Jones New Orleans Party April 1

Gregory Porter April 8

Sean Jones Quartet CD Release Party April 22

FOR THE WEEK OF

12.1912.26.13

FOR INFORMATION ON HOW TO SUBMIT LISTINGS AND PRESS RELEASES, CALL 412.316.3342 X161.

+ THU., DEC. 19

Musical Christmas Carol. It’s the CLO’s 22nd annual production of this song-filled version of Dickens’ classic, as usual packed with top local theater talent, starting with Tom Atkins as Scrooge. Others on the Byham Theater stage include Daniel Krell, Lisa Ann Goldsmith, Jodi Gage and Tim Hartman. Best of all, the show’s run dates leave plenty of time for you to get home and mend your ways before the big day. BO 8 p.m.

Continues through Sun., Dec. 22.

101 Sixth St., Downtown. $14.75-60.75. 412-456-6666 or www.pittsburghCLO.org

{COMEDY} The only comedian with two identical first names visits the Pittsburgh Improv. It’s two decades since Bruce Bruce had his breakout standup performances for Showtime at the Apollo. But the former host of BET’s Comic View remains a familiar face in movies and music videos, and a favorite on the comedy-festival circuit and in clubs around the nation.

The first of his five shows at the Improv is tonight. Bill O’Driscoll 8 p.m. Continues through Sat., Dec. 21. 166 E. Water St. ,The Waterfront, West Homestead. $25-35 (21 and over). 412-462-5233 or www.pittsburgh.improv.com

+ FRI., DEC. 20 {ART}

The Southern Alleghenies Museum of Art at Johnstown twists the everyday with Surrealities: The Graphic Work of William D. Davis and Peter Milton. The exhibit features 25 works from the museum’s collection by two artists who worked largely in black and white. The late Davis is represented by graphite drawings, plus etchings and engravings, of everything from

DEC. 20

{MUSIC}

Notte di Natale realistic scenes inhabited by ghostly presences to evocative, dream-world juxtapositions of objects. Milton offers intaglio prints, including large etchings from his series titled “Points of Departure.” The show opens today. BO 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Exhibit continues through March 15.

Pasquerilla Performing Arts Center, Pitt-Johnstown campus, Johnstown. 814-269-7234 or www.sama-art.org

{STAGE} There are just six more performances — that’s two for each Christmas ghost — of Pittsburgh CLO’s A

Christian McBride Trio April 29

Robert Glasper

People weary of “Christmas music” don’t mean the compositions in Chatham Baroque’s Notte di Natale. The group’s sophisticated holiday program features folk songs from Spain and Portugal and arias and instrumental sonatas by composers like Buxtehude, Scarlatti (“Cantata Pastorale”), Merula (“Canzonetta Spirituale sopra all Nanna”) and Bach.

The performers include awardwinning chamber organist Adam Pearl and acclaimed baroque violinist Dawn Posey; the featured vocalist is Argentine-born, Pittsburgh-based, internationally touring mezzosoprano Raquel Winnica Young (pictured). This weekend’s three performances, at three different venues, begin with tonight’s, at Sewickley’s St. James Parish. BO 8 p.m. (200 Walnut St., Sewickley). Also 8 p.m. Sat., Dec. 21 (Synod Hall, 125 N. Craig St., Oakland), and 2:30 p.m. Sun., Dec. 22 (Laughlin Music Center, Chatham University campus, Shadyside). $10-27. 888-719-4253 or www.chathambaroque.org

{WORDS}

DEC. 26

Holiday Camps

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.18/12.25.2013

{PHOTO COURTESY OF RENEE ROSENSTEEL}

For Tickets, Call 412-456-6666 or visit trustarts.org

The Eargasm Poetry Slam returns to Homewood’s Lounge 7101 2nd Time Around.

Organizers seek 10 contestants who have participated in an Eargasm slam this year; tonight’s competition is three rounds and the winner gets $200. Of course, audiences are crucial at poetry slams, and this 21-and-over event includes

sp otlight

{PHOTO COURTESY OF RICH SOFRANKO}

Holiday traditions, too, need refreshing, and so it is with two of Pittsburgh’s most venerable. Performed annually since 1969, Pittsburgh Ballet Theatre’s The Nutcracker is still going strong, in a Pittsburgh-set version created in 2002 by artistic director Terrence Orr. It’s got 100-plus characters, fantastic costumes, that hummable Tchaikovsky score and PBT students performing alongside company dancers who trade roles throughout the month-long run. But on Dec. 27, the PBT becomes the nation’s first professional ballet troupe to offer an autism-friendly performance of this classic; that day’s performance will be modified to accommodate those on the autism spectrum or with other sensory sensitivities. Meanwhile, across town, Shona Sharif African Dance and Drum Ensemble refreshes by reviving a tradition: While the company has performed some version of Black Nativity for 24 years running, recent productions have been “inspired by” Langston Hughes’ original. This year, artistic director Oronde Sharif returns to Hughes’ text. The recent Hollywood adaptation notwithstanding, here’s a chance to see scenes from the traditional Christmas story blended with African dance and gospel music, with talented locals, at Pitt’s Alumni Hall. Bill O’Driscoll The Nutcracker continues through Dec. 29 (719 Liberty Ave., Downtown; $25.75-96.75; 412-456-6666 or ww.pbt.org). Black Nativity continues at 8 p.m. Fri., Dec. 20; 8 p.m. Sat., Dec. 21; and 5 p.m. Sun., Dec. 22 (4227 Fifth Ave., Oakland; $10-20, with group rates available; 412-407-7571 or nativitypgh@gmail.com).

sounds by DJ Soldier. BO 9 p.m. (contestants must arrive by 9:30 p.m.). 7101 Frankstown Ave., Homewood. $10.

412-242-8888

+ SAT., DEC. 21 {OUTDOORS} It’s the first day of winter, so get out and put on some

In either case, one possible cure is tonight’s Irony City Holiday Reunion Spectacular. The latenight show brings together this improv troupe’s seasoned performers — including folks like Amy Portenlanger, Ben Amiri, Brian Gray, Greg Gilloti and Nilesh Shah — for a themed extravaganza. Though they’re most often seen at Steel City Improv Theater, tonight

promoter Jim Semonik, the electronic band’s frontman, is a big Larry David fan.) Along with the time-honored Festivus Pole, the Airing of Grievances, etc., the evening includes a Seinfeld trivia contest, pretzels (to make you thirsty) and more local bands, including The Lopez, Scott Fry Experience and Mind Tiger. BO 8 p.m.

4509 Liberty Ave., Bloomfield. $5. 412-682-0320

Art by William D. Davis

+ MON., DEC. 23 {MUSIC} Warm up with the hot and lively sounds of the Jazz Age at Tender Bar and Kitchen as A Boilermaker Jazz Christmas spotlights a duo version of the locally based classic-jazz outfit, featuring clarinetist Paul Consentino and pianist Jeff Lashway. Jazz up your holidays this evening with some vintage jazz numbers and holiday favorites as well. BW 8-11 p.m. 4300 Butler St., Lawrenceville.

No cover. 412-402-9522 or www.tenderpgh.com

DEC. 22

Festivus

snowshoes with Venture Outdoors at its Family Snowshoe Walkabout. The group supplies the shoes, a fitting and a demonstration on how to use them. Then, so shod, you’ll take an easy walk through the park. What if there’s no snow?

Well, you’ll still try out your snowshoes in the grass, but the hike will be on turf. So pack a pair of boots as well. Brett Wilson 1:30-3 p.m. Super Playground, Highland Park. $8 ($5 for kids). 412-255-0564 or www.ventureoutdoors.org

{COMEDY} Do you get depressed at the holidays? Or are you too busy resenting relatives to bother?

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Irony City will seek to make the winter solstice merry at Downtown’s Arcade Comedy Theater. BO 10 p.m. 811 Liberty Ave., Downtown. $10. www. arcadecomedytheater.com

{WORDS} “First First off — when somebody asks you what makes you who you are, / you had better

DEC. 20

Surrealities: litii The Graphic Work of William D. Davis and Peter Milton Tonight, at ModernFormations Gallery, Low Ghost Press hosts the release party. Silsbe reads along with John Grochalski (whose debut novel, The Librarian, is due on Six Gallery Press), plus Taylor Grieshober and Jason Irwin. BO 8 p.m.

4919 Penn Ave., Garfield. $5

answer, ‘I have no idea.’ And if you’re driving, / best to go 100 miles per hour on every street. Never walk around / this city like a fugitive — no matter what you did to anybody.” Scott Silsbe, a poet of Pittsburgh’s bars, corner stores, sidewalks and other matters ruminative, has just published his chapbook The River Underneath the City. y

+ SUN., DEC. 22 {FESTIVUS} Is there a longer-running Festivus celebration around than the nine-year-old one held at Howlers Coyote Café?

Possibly not. And this year, organizer Manny Theiner’s version of the holiday party for the rest of us includes the talents of WTII recording artists Rein[forced]. (Concert

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Irony ron o y City Cit Ci ity Holiday Reunion Spectacular

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(BYOB). www.lowghostpress. blogspot.com

+ THU., DEC. 26 {KIDS}

The Carnegie Science Center begins its series of four sciencethemed Holiday Camps, with full-day camps for kids ages 4-10, and half-day sessions for children 4 to 5 years old. Today, depending on age, kids will take part in either a Junior Space Adventure (ages 4-5), Holiday Fun (ages 6-7) or Engineer It! (ages 8-10). Additional camps, on Dec. 27, Dec. 30 and Dec. 31, include everything from Seussical Science and Trains!

Trains! Trains! to Introduction to Robotics. For a fee, there’s also pre-care starting at 7:30 a.m., and post-care ending at 5:30 p.m. BO 9 a.m.3 p.m. $23 (half day) and $40 (full day). 421-237-1637

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{ALL LISTINGS MUST BE SUBMITTED BY 9 A.M. FRIDAY PRIOR TO PUBLICATION}

TO SUBMIT A LISTING: HTTP://HAPPENINGS.PGHCITYPAPER.COM 412.316.3388 (FAX) + 412.316.3342 X161 (PHONE)

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.18/12.25.2013

story of Ted & Richard, childhood friends who spent years chasing the same goal: concert pianist stardom. Thu, Fri, 8 p.m., Sat, 2 & 5:30 p.m. and Sun, 2 p.m.

Thru Dec. 22. City Theatre, South Side. 412-431-2489.

ANNIE. Fri, Sat, 7:30 p.m.

Thru Dec. 21. Comtra Theatre, Cranberry. 724-591-8727.

ELF’ED. Interactive murder mystery dinner theater.

Sat., Dec. 21, 7 p.m.

Gaetano’s Restaurant, Dormont. 412-343-6640.

LA BEFANA: AN ITALIAN CHRISTMAS MUSICAL. Presented by Stage Right.

Dec. 20-21, 7:30 p.m. and Sun., Dec. 22, 2 p.m. Greensburg Garden and Civic Center, Greensburg. 724-832-7464.

MRS. BOB CRATCHIT’S WILD CHRISTMAS BINGE. Musical parody of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol.

Presented by the Indiana Players. Fri, Sat, 7:30 p.m.

and Sun, 2:30 p.m. Thru Dec. 22.

Philadelphia Street Playhouse, 724-464-0725.

A MUSICAL CHRISTMAS CAROL. Presented by Pittsburgh CLO. Fri, 7:30 p.m., Sat, 12, 4 & 8 p.m. and Sun, 2 & 6 p.m. Thru Dec. 22.

Byham Theater, Downtown.

412-456-6666.

PLAID TIDINGS. Forever Plaid Christmas special, presented by Pittsburgh CLO Cabaret. Wed, Thu, 7:30 p.m., Sat, 2 & 7:30 p.m. and Sun, 2 p.m. Thru Jan. 12. Cabaret at Theater Square, Downtown.

412-456-6666.

WELL. Thu-Sat, 8 p.m. and Sun, 3 p.m. Thru Dec. 22. Off the Wall Theater, Carnegie. Comedy by Lisa Kron acknowledging the heartbreaking challenge of true empathy. Thu-Sat, 8 p.m. and Sun, 3 p.m. Thru Dec. 22. Off the Wall Theater, Carnegie. 724-873-3576.

COMEDY THU 19 - SAT 21

BRUCE BRUCE. 8 p.m., Fri.,

{BY ERIC LIDJI}

Dec. 20, 8 & 10 p.m. and Sat., Dec. 21, 7 & 9 p.m. The Improv, Waterfront. 412-462-5233.

FRI 20

Comedy Theater, Downtown.

412-339-0608.

SAT 21

CAGE MATCH IMPROV COMPETITION. 9 p.m. Steel City BEST OF THE BURGH Improv Theater, Shadyside.

COMEDY SHOWCASE. 412-404-2695.

Fri, 8 p.m. Corner Cafe, THE IRONY CITY HOLIDAY South Side. 412-488-2995.

REUNION COMEDY DAHRI FERKS IMPROV. SPECTACULAR. 10 p.m.

10 p.m. Steel City Improv Arcade Comedy Theater, Shadyside.

Theater, Downtown.

412-404-2695.

412-339-0608.

HAROLD HOUR THE LUPONES: IMPROV. 9 p.m.

MADE UP MUSICALS. www. per Steel City Improv a p Sat, 8 p.m. Thru pghcitym Theater, Shadyside. .co Dec. 21 Steel City 412-404-2695.

Improv Theater, Shadyside.

JOHN DICK WINTERS, 412-404-2695.

ALEX STYPULA, SHANNON NORMAN, JESSE IRVIN, TIM ROSS (LATE). 10:30 p.m.

BONUS STAGE: IMPROV SHOW. Club Cafe, South Side.

7 p.m. Arcade Comedy Theater, 412-431-4950.

Downtown. 412-339-0608.

LEVEL ONE IMPROV CLASS SHOW. 8 p.m. Steel City Improv Theater, Shadyside.

OPEN MIC STAND UP 412-404-2695.

COMEDY NITE. Hosted by MISSY & ANDREW’S HOLIDAY Derek Minto & John Pridmore.

HIJINX HOUR. 10 p.m. Arcade Tue, 9:30 p.m. Smiling Moose, South Side. 412-612-4030.

FULL LIST E N O LIN

SUN 22

TUE 24

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EXHIBITS ALLEGHENY-KISKI VALLEY HERITAGE MUSEUM. Military artifacts and exhibits on the Allegheny Valley’s industrial heritage. Tarentum.

724-224-7666.

AUGUST WILSON CENTER FOR AFRICAN AMERICAN CULTURE. Pittsburgh: Reclaim, Renew, Remix.

Feat. imagery, film & oral history narratives to explore communities, cultures, & innovations. Downtown.

412-258-2700.

BAYERNHOF MUSEUM. Large collection of automatic roll-played musical instruments and music boxes in a mansion setting. Call for appointment.

O’Hara. 412-782-4231.

CARNEGIE MUSEUM OF ART. Neapolitan Presepio.

Nativity scene feat. more than 100 human & angelic figures, along w/ animals, accessories, & architectural elements.

Oakland. 412-622-3131.

CARNEGIE MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY. Ongoing: Earth Revealed, Dinosaurs In Their Time, more. Oakland.

412-622-3131.

CARNEGIE SCIENCE CENTER. Lionel Days. Artifacts from Lionel’s own train collection feat. special activities, a Kids Zone, more. Ongoing: Buhl Digital Dome (planetarium), Miniature CONTINUES ON PG. 48

December’s Featured Mixologist:

Congratulates December’s Featured Mixologist

GIANA VELAZQUEZ SKYBAR

Giana Velazquez is a seasoned-veteran behind the bar. She has been bartending for ten years, eight of which were at a nightclub in Miami.

She is new to Pittsburgh and has only been here for 11 months. Her favorite kind of customer is someone with a comical personality. Her

favorite part about bartending is that “you get to have fun and I get to be myself when I am at work.” When she is not working you can find her at school - she is in the pre-med program at the University of Pittsburgh. Visit SKYBAR Friday or Saturday to visit Giana!

GIANA’S FEATURED RECIPE:

The ABSOLUT Razz Fizz 2 oz. Raspberry liquor 4 oz. ABSOLUT Tune Serve over ice and garnish with a cherry.

SKYBAR 1601 EAST CARSON ST. (SKY LEVEL) SOUTH SIDE (412) 431-8800 www.skybarpgh.com [ENJOY WITH ABSOLUT RESPONSIBILITY®.]

To learn more about SKYBAR and Giana’s ABSOLUT RAZZ FIZZ, click on the CPTV Video Player on pghcitypaper.com or scan the QR code

ABSOLUT® VODKA. PRODUCT OF SWEDEN. 40% ALC./VOL. DISTILLED FROM GRAIN. ©2012 IMPORTED BY ABSOLUT SPIRITS CO., NEW YORK, NY.

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BIG LIST, CONTINUED FROM PG. 46

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SOUTHSIDE | 140 S. 18TH STREET | 412-488-0777 BARSMART.COM/JEKYLANDHYDE

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.18/12.25.2013

house. 724-329-8501.

Railroad and Village, USS Requin KERR MEMORIAL MUSEUM. submarine, and more. North Side.

Tours of a restored 19th-century, 412-237-3400. middle-class home. Oakmont.

CONNEY M. KIMBO 412-826-9295.

GALLERY. University of MALL AT ROBINSON. CSI Pittsburgh Jazz Exhibit: Pittsburgh: Fictional Crime Memorabilia & Awards from Scene. Presented by Pittsburgh the International Hall of Fame.

Technical Institute. Robinson.

Oakland. 412-648-7446.

412-788-0816.

FALLINGWATER. Tour the MCGINLEY HOUSE & famed Frank Lloyd Wright house.

MCCULLY LOG HOUSE. 724-329-8501.

Historic homes open for tours, FIRST PRESBYTERIAN lectures and more. Monroeville.

CHURCH. Tours of 13 Tiffany 412-373-7794. stained-glass windows.

MINE FACTORY. Super Ball: Downtown. 412-471-3436.

A Celebration of the World’s FORT PITT MUSEUM. Most Amazing Ball.

Unconquered: History Presented by The Meets Hollywood International at Fort Pitt. Original Sphaeralogical movie props, Society. Homewood. photographs, & . w ww per 412-370-6916. costumes alongside a p ty ci h pg NATIONAL AVIARY. 18th century artifacts .com Home to more than 600 & documents, birds from over 200 species. comparing & contrasting With classes, lectures, demos historical events w/ Hollywood and more. North Side. depictions. Reconstructed 412-323-7235. fort houses museum of NATIONALITY ROOMS. Pittsburgh history circa French 26 rooms helping to tell the & Indian War and American story of Pittsburgh’s immigrant Revolution. Downtown. past. University of Pittsburgh.

412-281-9285.

Oakland. 412-624-6000.

FRICK ART & HISTORICAL OLIVER MILLER HOMESTEAD. CENTER. Ongoing: tours This pioneer/Whiskey Rebellion of Clayton, the Frick estate, site features log house, blacksmith with classes, car & carriage shop & gardens. South Park. museum. Point Breeze.

412-835-1554.

412-371-0600.

PENNSYLVANIA TROLLEY KENTUCK KNOB. Tour MUSEUM. Trolley rides and the other Frank Lloyd Wright exhibits. Includes displays, walking tours, gift shop, picnic area and Trolley Theatre.

Washington. 724-228-9256.

PHIPPS CONSERVATORY & BOTANICAL GARDEN. Winter Flower Show & Light Garden.

Feat. poinsettias, amaryllis, whimsical lights & adornments.

14 indoor rooms & 3 outdoor gardens feature exotic plants and floral displays from around the world. Oakland.

412-622-6914.

PITTSBURGH ZOO & PPG AQUARIUM. Home to 4,000 animals, including many BAND NIGHT EVERY THURSDAY! endangered species. Highland Park. 412-665-3639.

RIVERS OF STEEL NATIONAL HERITAGE AREA. Exhibits on the Homestead Mill. Steel industry and community artifacts from 1881-1986. Homestead.

412-464-4020.

SENATOR JOHN HEINZ HISTORY CENTER. Pennsylvania’s Civil War. In-depth look at Pennsylvania’s significant contributions during the Civil War feat. artifacts, military encampments, life-like museum figures, more. $2.75 PBR POUNDERS From Slavery to Freedom.

OR PBR DRAFTS ALL DAY, EVERY DAY Highlight’s Pittsburgh’s role ‘till Midnight in the anti-slavery movement.

Ongoing: Western PA Sports $5.50 PBR POUNDER Museum, Clash of Empires, and & FIREBALL SHOT exhibits on local history, more.

Thursdays, all day Strip District. 412-454-6000. ‘till Midnight SEWICKLEY HEIGHTS HISTORY 2204 E. CARSON ST. CENTER. Museum commemorates (412) 431-5282 Pittsburgh industrialists, local

FULL LIST ONLINE

THURS/DEC 19/10PM

{PHOTO COURTESY OF RENEE ROSENSTEEL}

One roll of packing tape isn’t much fun. But — as the Pittsburgh Children’s Museum proves — 168 rolls is a different story. TapeScape, designed by architect Eric Lennartson, is an explore-able art installation and play area, which was constructed using a metal frame, shrink wrap and enough tape to span 185 football fields. The third of its kind in the U.S., this incarnation features the first “TotScape,” a stand-alone section for younger children. 11 a.m.4 p.m. daily through Jan. 19. 101 Children’s Way, Allegheny Square, North Side. 412-322-5058 or www.pittsburghkids.org history. Sewickley. 412-741-4487.

ST. ANTHONY’S CHAPEL. Features 5,000 relics of Catholic saints. North Side.

412-323-9504.

WINTER WONDER-LESQUE BURLESQUE SHOW

HOLIDAY

THURS/DEC 26/10PM

SEASONAL INSPIRATIONS HOLIDAY CRAFT SHOW. Pottery, paper crafts, stained glass, paintings, more. Mon-Sat. Thru Dec. 23 North Hills Art Center, Ross. 412-364-3622.

SNOWFLAKE SHOWCASE MARKET. Paintings, prints, textiles, wood creations, jewelry, ceramics, more. Tue, Thu, Fri, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. and Sat, 1-4 p.m. Thru Dec. 21 Greensburg Art Center, Greensburg. 724-837-6791.

SLIM FORSYTHE & HIS NEW PAYDAY LOANERS THURS/JAN 2/10PM

DEREK WOODZ BAND

lavaloungepgh.com

THU 19 - SAT 21

THU 19 - SUN 22 CRAFTSMAN’S GUILD OF PITTSBURGH HOLIDAY ARTIST MARKET. Jewelry, clay,

glass, wood, sculpture, textiles, more. Wed-Sun Thru Jan. 5 709 Penn Gallery, Downtown.

412-456-6666.

THU 19 - TUE 24 CARNEGIE TREES 2013: EMBRACING THE ART OF PLAY. 20-foot Colorado spruce trees adorned w/ handcrafted ornaments that celebrate the art of play. Tue-Sun. Thru Jan. 12 Carnegie Museum of Art, Oakland. 412-622-3131.

THE PCA ANNUAL HOLIDAY SHOP. Ceramics, jewelry, fiber art, prints, more by 200+ regional artists.

Thu-Sat, 10 a.m.-7 p.m., Sun, 12-5 p.m., Tue, Wed, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. and Mon, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Thru Dec. 23 Pittsburgh Center for the Arts, Shadyside. 412-361-0873.

HOLIDAY TRAIN DISPLAY. Working coal mine, airport, steel mill & firework display. MonFri and Sat, Sun. Thru CONTINUES ON PG. 50

Work by Yoko Sekino-Bove, from The Ceramic Work of Yoko Sekino-Bove and the Jewelry of Jim Bove, at BE Galleries

VISUALART

ONGOING 28 WEST SECOND GALLERY & STUDIO SPACE. Deck the Halls. Local artist showcase.

Greensburg. 724-205-9033.

707 PENN GALLERY. threaded colors // drawing lines. Work by Nicole Czapinski. Downtown.

412-325-7017.

AMERICAN JEWISH MUSEUM. Finnish & Jewish.

Photographs by Dina Kantor.

Squirrel Hill. 412-521-8010.

ANDY WARHOL MUSEUM. Theater of the Self.

Photographic reprisals by Yasumasa Morimura. I Just Want to Watch: Warhol’s Film, Video and Television.

Long-term exhibition of Warhol’s film & video work.

Permanent collection.

Artwork and artifacts by the famed Pop Artist.

North Side. 412-237-8300.

ART INSTITUTE OF PITTSBURGH. SKIN. Faculty/ student collaborative exhibition.

Downtown. 412-291-6200.

ARTISTS IMAGE RESOURCE. Printwork 2013. National juried print exhibition feat. over 20 artists. North Side.

412-321-8664.

BACKSTAGE BAR AT THEATRE SQUARE. Symphony of Colours. Work by Nadya Lapets, June Kielty, Kim Freithaler & Vickie Schilling.

Downtown. 412-325-6769.

BAR MARCO. 3 Perspectives: An Attempt to Understand.

This exhibit aims to explain the events of the Holocaust through art, narrative & history.

Feat. work by Judith Robinson & Kara Snyder & curated by the Holocaust Center of the Jewish Federation of Greater Pittsburgh. Strip District.

412-421-1500.

BARCO LAW LIBRARY. The Digital Imagers Group Show. www.digitalimagers.org.

Oakland.

BE GALLERIES. 35th Anniversary Exhibition. Work by ceramic artist Yoko SekinoBove & jewelry artist Jim Bove.

Lawrenceville. 412-687-2606.

BLUE OLIVE GALLERIES. Pittsburgh Panoramas/Metals.

Tarentum. 724-275-7001.

BOULEVARD GALLERY. Holiday Sale. Pottery, jewelry, woodwork, painted & stained glass, greeting cards, prints, metal works, more. Verona.

412-828-1031.

BOXHEART GALLERY. Blooming w/ Holiday Spirit.

Group exhibition & holiday sale. Bloomfield. 412-687-8858.

CARNEGIE MUSEUM OF ART. 2013 Carnegie International.

Exhibition of new international art in the United States. Curated

by Daniel Baumann, Dan Byers, & Tina Kukielski. Oakland.

412-622-3131.

CHATHAM UNIVERSITY. Culture in Context. African Art from the Olkes Collection.

Shadyside. 412-365-1232.

CHRISTINE FRECHARD GALLERY. Sandra Benhaim.

New work. Squirrel Hill.

412-421-8888.

COHEN & GRIGSBY GALLERY. CONNECTIONS: The Work of

Fabrizio Gerbino. Downtown.

CRAZY MOCHA COFFEE COMPANY. Creator of the Future. Work by Matthew Stull.

Bloomfield. 412-681-5225.

ECLECTIC ART & OBJECTS GALLERY. 19th century American & European paintings combined with some of the world’s most talented contemporary artists & their artwork. The Hidden Collection.

Watercolors by Robert N. Blair (1912- 2003). Hiromi Traditional Japanese Oil Paintings The Lost Artists of the 1893 Chicago Exhibition. Collectors Showcase.

Emsworth. 412-734-2099.

FILMMAKERS GALLERIES. Pittsburgh je t’aime. A collection of iPhone photos by Hilary Robinson. Closing reception Feb 17, 5:30-8 p.m. Oakland.

412-681-5449.

FIREBORN @ THE WORKS. Ceramics & glass pop-up gallery.

Feat. Line & Color, works by Donn Hedman. S. 27th St., South Side. South Side. 412-381-3181.

FRAMEHOUSE. Associated Artists of Pittsburgh Group Show. Work by more than 40 artists. Lawrenceville.

412-586-4559.

FRICK ART & HISTORICAL CENTER. Clayton Holiday Tours A Pittsburgh Christmas. Artifacts displayed in Clayton evoke the family’s celebrations, archival & newspaper materials will give an idea of seasonal activity in & around the city. Civil War Era Drawings from the Becker Collection. Permanent collection of European Art. Point Breeze.

412-371-0600.

FUTURE TENANT. Shame of the City: Deconstructing & Reconstructing Comic Narratives.

Group exhibition of 23 works of art, each a deconstruction of a single page of the 1984 comic book “The Invincible Iron Man.” Downtown. 412-325-7037.

GALLERIE CHIZ. Gadgets to Grandeur. Group show feat. brand new & vintage Chiz artists.

Shadyside. 412-441-6005.

THE GALLERY 4. PRESENT. New media interactive works by Erin Ko. Shadyside. 412-363-5050.

GALLERY ON 43RD STREET. Pieces Together. Mosaics

by Stevo. Lawrenceville.

412-683-6488.

GLENN GREENE STAINED GLASS STUDIO INC. Original Glass Art by Glenn Greene.

Exhibition of new work, recent work & older work. Regent Square. 412-243-2772.

IMAGEBOX. Michelangelo Noir: Drawings Based on the Pre-cleaned Frescoes. Work

by Richard Claraval. Garfield.

412-441-0194.

INTERNATIONAL IMAGES. Venus, Eve, & Madonna.

Last Sunday of every month!

8 to 11pm

TUESDAY DEC.31

Joe Cheeta’s High Energy personality, Quick Sense of Humor, Combined with his Ability to get Everyone Involved makes Game Show Junkiessm a Fantastic Time to be had by all!

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Brewski’s Distributor-Russellton JR’s Beer Warehouse-Rochester Save-Mor Beer & Pop Warehouse-Hazelton Save On Beer-North Hills

CONTINUES ON PG. 50

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BIG LIST, CONTINUED FROM PG. 48

Jan. 4 Penn Hills VFD #224, Verona.

412-828-0860.

FRI 20 - SUN 22 THE NATIVITY: A CHRISTMAS GIFT. Feat. the Shona Sharif African Dance & Drum Ensemble.

Fri, Sat, 8 p.m. and Sun, 5 p.m.

Thru Dec. 22 Alumni Hall, Univ. of Pittsburgh, Oakland.

412-648-2276.

SAT 21 FIFTH AVENUE PLACE HOLLY TROLLEY. Hosted by Santa’s little helpers, trolleys circle downtown each weekend picking up at stops approximately every 15 minutes. www.downtownpittsburgh.com Sat. Thru Dec. 21 Fifth Avenue Place, Downtown.

WINTER WONDERLAND AT BAKERY SQUARE. Photos w/ Santa, holiday marketplace, crafts, spiked hot chocolate for ages 21+, more. 1-4 p.m. Bakery Square, Larimer.

SAT 21 - SUN 22 GLASS ORNAMENT WORKSHOPS. Sat, Sun, 9 a.m.6 p.m. Thru Dec. 22 Vessel Studio Glass, South Side. 412-779-2471.

MON 23 SEASONAL INSPIRATIONS HOLIDAY CRAFT SHOW. Pottery, paper crafts, stained glass, paintings, more. Mon-Sat. Thru Dec. 23 North Hills Art Center, Ross. 412-364-3622.

We’re all about the BEER! All Day, Every Day: $2.00 PBR 24oz. cans Happy Hour: 5pm-7pm Mon-Fri $ .00 1 off all drinks Wednesday: .20 cent wings, $ .75

$ .00

1 Bud Light Drafts, 4 Bombs, DJ Outtareach

Thursday: Karaoke DJ T-Money Friday: DJ Sneak Saturday: DJ Magic Mike Sunday: EDM Night with DJ 5X5 Suga OPEN CHRISTMAS DAY 6PM-2AM 1002 002 Perry P Highway • Pittsburgh,Pa. 15237 412-367-9610 • perrytownedrafthouse.net 50

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.18/12.25.2013

DANCE THU 19 - MON 23

THE NUTCRACKER. Presented by the Pittsburgh Ballet Theatre.

Fri, 7 p.m., Sat, 2 & 7 p.m., Sun, 12 & 4:30 p.m., Thu, 7 p.m., Mon., Dec. 23, 7 p.m. and Sun., Dec. 29, 12 p.m. Thru Dec. 26 Benedum Center, Downtown.

412-456-6666.

FRI 20 - SUN 22

THE NUTCRACKER . 7:30 p.m., Sat., Dec. 21, 2 & 7:30 p.m. and Sun., Dec. 22, 2 p.m. Lincoln Park Performing Arts Center, 724-576-4644.

VISUAL ART

Presented by the Associated Artists of Pittsburgh. Work by Ruthanne Bauerle, Dorothy de Groat, Tazim Jaffer, Yelena Lamm, Tommy Mason, Daniel Mercer, Nathan Nissim, Rhoda Taylor, more. Sewickley.

412-741-3036.

IRMA FREEMAN CENTER FOR IMAGINATION. Make Moves.

Assemblage work, drawings, video & more by Bill Shannon.

Garfield. 412-924-0634.

JAMES GALLERY. Obscure/ Reveal. Hot wax paintings

by Christine Aaron, Karen Freedman, Amber George, Lorraine Glessner, Catherine Nash, James Nesbitt, more.

West End. 412-922-9800.

LA PRIMA ESPRESSO. Paintings/Prints of Italy.

Prints of Vince Ornato’s oil paintings of Italy. Strip District.

412-281-1922.

LAKEVUE ATHLETIC CLUB. Pop-Up Gallery. Work by a variety of artists. 724-316-9326.

MANCHESTER CRAFTSMEN’S GUILD. Here & Now. Work

by Sharif Bey. North Side.

412-322-1773.

MATTRESS FACTORY. DETROIT: Artists in Residence. Work by Design 99, Jessica Frelinghuysen, Scott Hocking, Nicola Kuperus & Adam Lee Miller, Russ Orlando, Frank Pahl. Janine Antoni: Within. O Chiharu Shiota: Trace of Memory. Site-specific installation focusing on the body w/ relation to place & space. Ongoing Installations.

Works by Turrell, Lutz, Kusama, Anastasi, Highstein, Wexler & Woodrow. North Side.

412-231-3169.

MENDELSON GALLERY. African Dreams, Cubists Visions Redux. Sculptures by David Lewis, paintings by Terry Shutko.

Shadyside. 412-361-8664.

MICHAEL HERTRICH ART & FRAME. Revisited 2013.

New paintings & pastels by

Council. Thu, 1 p.m. Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912.

THE HOUR AFTER HAPPY HOUR WRITER’S WORKSHOP. BOOK ‘EM BOOKS TO Young writers & recent graduates PRISONERS WORK PARTY. Read looking for additional feedback & code letters, pick books, pack on their work. thehourafter ‘em or database ‘em! Sundays 4happyhour.wordpress.com Thu, 7 p.m. or by appt. Thomas Merton 7-9 p.m. The Big Idea Bookstore Center, Garfield. 412-361-3022. & Cafe, Bloomfield.

412-687-4323.

“THE WRITE SPOT” WRITERS’ WORKSHOP. B.E. LITERARY BOOK www. per Prompt-driven poetry pa CLUB. Notes from pghcitym & prose. Third Thu of .co the Underground by every month, 7-9 p.m. and Fyodor Dostoyevsky.

First Thu of every month.

7-9 p.m. Biddle’s Escape, Thru Feb. 6 Biddle’s Escape, Regent Regent Square. 412-999-9009.

Square. 412-999-9009.

ENGLISH LEARNERS’ BOOK CLUB. For advanced ESL students. Presented in cooperation JIM O’BRIEN. Author of Chuck w/ the Greater Pittsburgh Literacy

FUNDRAISERS SUN 22

LITERARY THU 19

CONTINUED FROM PG. 49

FULL LIST ONLINE

FRI 20

Adelaide La Fond. South Side.

412-431-3337.

MILLER GALLERY AT CARNEGIE MELLON UNIVERSITY. Alien She. Work

by Ginger Brooks Takahashi, Tammy Rae Carland, Miranda July, Faythe Levine, Allyson Mitchell, L.J. Roberts, & Stephanie Syjuco. Oakland.

412-268-3618.

MODERNFORMATIONS GALLERY. Our Interconnected World: Art & Science at the Environmental Charter School.

Garfield. 412-362-0274.

MORGAN CONTEMPORARY GLASS GALLERY. common discourse. Group show feat. work by Jen Blazina, Ron Desmett, Michael Janis, Susan Longini, Carmen Lozar, Heather Joy Puskarich, Demetra Theofanous & Randy Walker.

Shadyside. 412-441-5200.

PANZA GALLERY. David A. Ludwig: Structures. Paintings, study sets, & drawings from a 40 year career. Millvale.

412-821-0959.

PHOTO ANTIQUITIES. Pictures in Jewelry. Photos embedded in rings, pendants, watch covers & rings, given as gifts between 1880-WWI. Photography of the Great Gatsby Era. See what cameras were popular in the Roaring 20’s including Kodak Vest Pocket Cameras & Vanity Cameras, beautifully housed in Art Deco styled cases. Some even came complete with a mirror and lipstick for those flappers on the go! North Side.

412-231-7881.

PITTSBURGH CENTER FOR THE ARTS. The New Collective. PCA all-guild exhibition of current work. Shadyside. 412-361-0873.

PITTSBURGH GLASS CENTER. SiO2: Highschool Reunion.

Feat. work by 12 former SiO2 high school students. Reception Dec. 20, 6-9 p.m. Friendship.

412-365-2145.

POINT PARK UNIVERSITY. DANCE. Work by Joyce Werwie Perry. The Lawrence Hall Gallery.

Downtown. 412-391-4100.

SENATOR JOHN HEINZ HISTORY CENTER. Poptastic!

The Art of Burton Morris.

Retrospective feat. nearly 50 works. Strip District.

412-454-6000.

SILVER EYE CENTER FOR PHOTOGRAPHY. Pittsburgh Collects. 75 selected works contributed by 3 Pittsburgh photography collectors. South Side.

412-431-1810.

SOCIETY FOR CONTEMPORARY CRAFT SATELLITE GALLERY. Touch in Real Time. Work by Holly Hanessian. Downtown.

412-261-7003.

THE SOCIETY FOR CONTEMPORARY CRAFT. CRAFTED. Feat. 40+ American ceramic artists interpreting the way they see the drinking cup.

ENOUGH Violence: Artists Speak Out. Feat. over 40 works by US & European contemporary artists.

Strip District. 412-261-7003.

SPACE. Behind Our Scenes.

Photographs by Nancy Andrews, Leo Hsu, Dennis Marsico, Annie O’Neill, & Barbara Weissberger.

Downtown. 412-325-7723.

TUGBOAT PRINT SHOP. Tugboat Printshop. Open studio.

Lawrenceville. 412-621-0663.

WESTMORELAND MUSEUM OF AMERICAN ART. Born of Fire: The Valley Work.

Greensburg. 724-837-1500.

WOOD STREET GALLERIES. Hive. 3D-animated audiovisual installation where gallery visitors confront a swirling mass of amorphous figures, appearing as a collective of matter as opposed to individual beings in deep space. Downtown.

412-471-5605.

Noll A Winning Way. 10 a.m.-3 p.m.

Fifth Avenue Place, Downtown.

PALS BOOK CLUB. Seniors only.

10 a.m. Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912.

Tue, 6 p.m. Carnegie Library, Squirrel Hill. 412-422-9650.

SAT 21

EXPLORING THE WORK OF JUDITH SCOTT. Thru Dec. 20, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side.

412-322-5058.

CARNEGIE SCREENWRITERS GROUP. 10 a.m. Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon.

412-531-1912.

ITALIAN CONVERSATION. Third and First Sat of every month, 11 a.m.-12 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151.

PENNWRITERS SPRINGDALE WRITERS GROUP. Third Sat of every month Springdale Free Public Library, Springdale.

724-274-9729.

TUE 24 LET’S SPEAK ENGLISH! Practice conversational English.

KIDSTUFF THU 19 - FRI 20

THU 19 - TUE 24

BACKYARD EXHIBIT. Musical swing set, sandbox, solar-powered instruments, more. Ongoing Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058.

BALL. 500 beach balls, larger inflatable balls, a disco ball & music. Ongoing Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058.

TAPESCAPE. Massive indoor CONTINUES ON PG. 52

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landscape made of 22 miles of packing tape. Thru Jan. 19, 2014 Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058.

TOUGH ART. Interactive artworks

by Chris Beauregard, Katie Ford, Scott Garner, Isla Hansen & Luke Loeffler. Ongoing Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side.

412-322-5058.

EVERYONE IS A CRITIC EVENT: Totem Pole Unveiling at the Carnegie Museum of Natural History, Oakland

FRI 20

CRITIC: Lauren Isaac, 30, a teacher

EVENING ED-VENTURES: A NIGHT IN THE TROPICS. Sample tropical fruits, create a mini rainforest to take home, more.

Ages 6-9. 6:30-9:30 p.m. Phipps Conservatory & Botanical Garden, Oakland.412-441-4442 x 3925.

KID’S NIGHT OUT. Holiday crafts & classes. Ages 5-12. Fri, 6-9 p.m.

Thru Dec. 20 The ToonSeum, Downtown. 412-232-0199.

ROCK BAND! Open stage for teen singers, songwriters & instrumentalists to play w/ Emma Cox & Elliot Beck. Presented

by Hope Academy. Fri, 5:307 p.m. Thru Dec. 27 East Liberty Presbyterian Church, East Liberty.

412-441-3800 x 43.

from Pleasant Hills WHEN: Sat.,

Today the Carnegie Museum of Natural History hosted a totem-pole unveiling event that tells the story of a raven, two fishermen and a salmon in a very beautiful fashion.

I heard about the event and thought it sounded really interesting, and the totem pole [by artist Tommy Joseph] is so aesthetically pleasing that I am absolutely shocked and blown away by just how magnificent it is. I am now realizing that somehow this is the first totem pole I have ever laid my eyes upon. I really appreciate this addition to the Museum of Natural History, because it does what every other piece in this museum aims to do: It visually tells a story through an art form that we [don’t] often see anymore. This was my first trip to the Carnegie in quite some time, but this piece has become an automatic favorite piece of my family’s.

SAT 21

BREAKFAST EXPRESS. Breakfast, The Polar Express: An IMAX Experience, time in the Miniature Railroad & Village®, and a chance to meet Mr. McFeely, more. Sat. Thru Dec. 21 Carnegie Science Center, North Side. 412-237-3400.

BREAKFAST W/ SANTA CRUISE. Sat, 8:30 a.m. Thru Dec. 21 The Space Upstairs, Point Breeze.

Gateway Clipper Fleet, 412-225-9269.

Station Square. 412-355-7980.

EMPATHY FIRST. A compassionate CHRISTMAS CHEER communication & conflict CELEBRATION. Polar Express transformation study group based presentation, cookies, crafts, more. on the work of peace activist, 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Mars Area Public Dr. Marshall Rosenberg. 7424 Library, Mars. 724-625-9048.

Washington St., Swissvale.

FAMILY FUN AT FIFTH AVE First and Third Thu of every PLACE: BLISSFUL BLUE. month, 7 p.m. 412-271-7660.

Ice paintings, airbrush tattoos, INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S keepsake bead rings, more.

ASSOCIATION OF 11 a.m.-2 p.m. Fifth Avenue PITTSBURGH. Social, Place, Downtown. cultural club of MARTY’S MARKET American/international KIDS’ CORNER. Ages women. Thu First 5-11. Sat, 3-5 p.m. www. per Baptist Church, Marty’s Market, Strip pa pghcitym .co Oakland. iwap.

District. 412-586-7177. pittsburgh@gmail.com.

MENTAL HEALTH & THE WORKPLACE. 12:15-1:15 p.m.

SANTA FAMILY FUN CRUISES. Carnegie Library, Downtown.

Sat, Sun, 1 p.m. Thru Dec. 22 412-956-7352.

Gateway Clipper Fleet, RENAISSANCE DANCE GUILD. Station Square. 412-355-7980.

Learn a variety of dances from the SLEEPING BEAUTY HOLIDAY. 15-17th centuries. Porter Hall, An interactive musical production.

Room A18A. Thu, 8 p.m. Carnegie Sat, Sun, 1 & 3:30 p.m. Thru Mellon University, Oakland.

Dec. 22 Gemini Theater, 412-567-7512.

Point Breeze. 412-243-6464.

WEST COAST SWING. Swing dance lessons for all levels. Thu, 7 p.m. Pittsburgh Dance Center, Bloomfield. 412-681-0111.

ANTIQUE APPRAISAL FAIR. Presented by Crown Antiques & THE ART OF BELLY DANCING. Collectibles. 6:30 p.m. The Zone, Workshop w/ Amethyst. 2:30 p.m.

Lawrenceville. 412-784-1894.

Carnegie Library, Downtown.

ART NIGHTS AT THE SPACE 412-281-7141.

UPSTAIRS. Bring your own BALKAN DANCE PARTY. Folk medium for a communal creation night w/ music by King Friday. dance lessons, live music, more.

Third Thu of every month, 8 p.m.

Third Sat of every month,

FULL LIST ONLINE

SAT 21 - SUN 22

OTHER STUFF THU 19

SAT 21

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.18/12.25.2013

Dec. 14

B Y B RE T T W I L S ON

7:30 p.m. Thru June 21 BulgarianMacedonian National Education and Cultural Center, West Homestead. 412-461-6188.

KOREAN II. For those who already have a basic understanding of Korean & are interested in increasing proficiency. Sat, 11 a.m.12:30 p.m. Thru Dec. 28 Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151.

SATURDAY NIGHT SALSA CRAZE. Free lessons, followed by dancing. Sat, 10 p.m. La Cucina Flegrea, Downtown. 412-708-8844.

SCOTTISH COUNTRY DANCING. Lessons 7-8 p.m., social dancing follows. No partner needed. Mon, 7 p.m. and Sat, 7 p.m. Grace Episcopal Church, Mt. Washington.

412-683-5670.

SPANISH CONVERSATION GROUP. Friendly, informal. At the Starbucks inside Target. Sat, 3:30-5:30 p.m. Target, East Liberty.

412-362-6108.

SWING CITY. Learn & practice swing dancing skills. Sat, 8 p.m.

Wightman School, Squirrel Hill.

412-759-1569.

SUN 22 AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL HUMAN RIGHTS CAFE. Weekly letter writing event. Sun, 4-6 p.m. Panera Bread, Oakland.

412-683-3727.

CHINESE FOR BEGINNERS. Second Sun of every month, 3:30-4:30 p.m. and Fourth Sun of every month Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151.

PITTSBURGH REPTILE SHOW

& SALE. 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Futules’ Harmar House, 724-516-0441.

YIDDISH FOR BEGINNERS. Every other Sun, 12:30-1:30 p.m. Thru Dec. 22 Carnegie Library, Oakland.

412-622-3151.

MON 23 BOUNDARIES & SELF CARE. A support group for women 30+. Second and Fourth Mon of every month Anchorpoint Counseling Ministry.

THE DEN. Second and Fourth Mon of every month Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151.

MORNING SPANISH LITERATURE & CONVERSATION. Mon, 10 a.m. Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon.

412-531-1912.

SAHAJA MEDITATION. Mon, 7:30 p.m. Thru Feb. 17 Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912.

SCOTTISH COUNTRY DANCING. Lessons 7-8 p.m., social dancing follows. No partner needed. Mon, 7 p.m. and Sat, 7 p.m. Grace Episcopal Church, Mt. Washington.

412-683-5670.

SPELLING BEE WITH DAVE AND KUMAR. Mon Lava Lounge, South Side. 412-431-5282.

TUE 24 BOUNDARIES & SELF CARE. Fourth and Second Tue of every month, 6-7:30 p.m. Anchorpoint Counseling Ministry, 412-366-1300.

OPEN (POST) JAZZ IMPROVISATIONAL DANCE CLASS. Tue, 7-10 p.m. Thru Jan. 28 The Space Upstairs, Point Breeze. 412-225-9269.

18+ for murder mystery shows performed in the Pittsburgh area.

412-833-5056.

TRIB TOTAL MEDIA. Auditions for the Trib Total Media Young Artists Competition.

Register recorded auditions

by Jan. 13, live auditions held on Feb. 2. www.westmoreland symphony.org 724-837-1850.

[VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITY]

THE VETERANS LEADERSHIP PROGRAM OF WESTERN PENNSYLVANIA The VLPWPA, based in the South Side, helps provide job referrals, housing and other assistance to veterans and their families. Volunteers are needed for office work, including answering phones and helping veterans check in for appointments. Office hours are 8:30 a.m.-4:30 p.m.

Monday through Friday. Call 412-481-8200 or visit www.vlpwpa.org for information.

SUBMISSIONS ACTING OUT! PITTSBURGH PRIDE THEATER FESTIVAL. Accepting submissions for showcase of locally written lesbian, gay, bisexual, ortransgender-theme 1-act plays.

Manuscript details at facebook. com/events/519459561475242/ 412-256-8109.

CLASH INTERNATIONAL. Seeking

N E W S

in First Fridays - Art in a Box. For more information, email thedapcoopzumba@hotmail.com.

412-403-7357.

THE HOUR AFTER HAPPY HOUR REVIEW. Seeking submissions in all genres for fledgling literary magazine curated by members of the Hour After Happy Hour Writing Workshop. afterhappyhourreview.com

make a real connection

AUDITIONS BOBCAT PLAYERS. Auditions for the 2014 season. Jan. 11, 16, 18. Cold readings & 1-min. monologue from a play or movie. www.bobcatplayers.com Beaver Area High School, Beaver.

412-953-0237.

CLASH INTERNATIONAL. Seeking performance artists for Local People for Global Causes fundraising event in February 2014.

Particularly seeking artists w/ relevant performance pieces (i.e. short plays, comedy sketches, songs, spoken poetry etc.). localforglobal@gmail.com The Grey Box Theatre, Lawrenceville. 412-586-7744.

LINCOLN PARK PERFORMING ARTS CENTER DANCE COMPANY. Auditions for The Music & the Mirror: A Tribute to Marvin Hamlisch. Jan. 5. Open to tri-state area students in grades 9-12. centerauditions.org Lincoln Park Performing Arts Center, 724-576-4644.

LINCOLN PARK PERFORMING ARTS CENTER STUDENT COMPANY. Auditions for Little Shop of Horrors. Jan. 6-8. Open to tri-state areas students in grades 9-12. centerauditions.org Lincoln Park Performing Arts Center, 724-576-4644.

MCCAFFERY MYSTERIES. Ongoing auditions for actors ages

art & craft submissions (i.e. paintings, photographs, jewelry, etc.) for Local People for Global Causes fundraiser.

All submissions are tax deductible.

Call for more information. www.clashinternational.org 412-352-3338.

THE DAP CO-OP. Seeking performers & artists to participate

Free

TRY FOR

412.566.1861 Local Numbers: 1.800.210.1010 Ahora en Español 18+

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www.livelinks.com

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A R T S

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ROLL THE DICE

ays ve alw er. ’ u o y s ine s s t y Pap t he bu e r ti s e in C i t r a t S v 2 d & ad 34 3 w a n te lts.

6 u 1 s e r 3

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t We ge

Savage Love {BY DAN SAVAGE}

I’m a 28-year-old woman in a relationship for 3.5 years with a wonderful man. He is loving, sweet, kind, driven, active, handsome, generous, etc. We’re very committed to each other and planning our future together. Enter the issue: We’ve been discussing marriage since January. Until May, he was opposed to it. “I don’t feel old enough yet,” he says, which makes me want to slap him, because my baby-making years are flying by. We talk about wanting the same things, like a family and a home, but those are things I won’t do unless we are married and also things I don’t want to start doing when I’m 35. In August, he mentioned the possibly of a proposal around the holidays. But when his mom asked if they should go shopping for a ring, he told her no! That blows a holiday engagement!

I am ready for the next phase. He says he is too, but he won’t propose. I don’t get it!

a man. Just ask my husband.

I’m a 28-year-old gay guy living happily with my boyfriend. My sexual interests have always been men, but a few months ago, I stumbled across femdom porn on the internet. Images of submissive men under the control of dominant women are so fascinating to me that I have been masturbating three times a day watching femdom porns. I have never been interested in straight porn or fucking someone without a cock, and I have no experience in BDSM at all. I now fantasize about being dominated and humiliated by a woman. I love my boyfriend, but my femdom fantasy has become a taboo between us. Is seeing a pro dom considered cheating on my boyfriend? How can I talk to my boyfriend about my new sexual interest?

GAY MAN SEEKS LADY DOM

PUT OFF PROPOSAL DEPRESSES A QUEENSLANDER

PGHCityPaper

blogh.pghcitypaper.com

The first hit is free.

Actually, so are all the others.

This is going to seem random, but indulge me for a second. There was an article in the New York Times recently about how young men still aren’t doing their share of the cooking and cleaning.

“Women today make up 40 percent of America’s sole or primary breadwinners for families with children under 18,” Stephen Marche wrote. “[But] men’s time investment in housework has not significantly altered in nearly 30 years.”

Reading Marche’s piece — in which he makes the case not for men to do more housework (God forbid), but for men and women to live together in filth — made me say, “So glad I’m gay.”

I sometimes have that reaction when I read stories about “the gender wars,” or when I read smut-shaming bullshit about straight men and porn. But Marche’s essay elicited a different so-glad-I’m-gay response. It went something like this: “I’m so glad I’m gay because my husband and I don’t have the option of defaulting to the stupid gender norms, roles, expectations, neuroses and riptides that plague so many straight couples.”

Despite the fact that we’re both men, my husband and I do not live together in filth. When a bed needs to be made or a dish needs to be washed or a floor needs to be mopped — or a cock needs to be sucked — one of us makes, washes, mops or sucks it. We don’t sit around and think, “I have a dick — so bed-making/dish-doing/ floor-mopping/cock-sucking isn’t my job.”

Do you see where I’m going with this?

There’s something at your place that needs doing, and you’re waiting for him to do it. Why? Because he has the dick.

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” Mahatma Gandhi said that*, but I don’t need to tell you, right? Because that quote was at the bottom of your email. So here’s a thought: Be the change you want to see in your own fucking relationship. You want to get engaged to this guy? Propose to him.

Yes, traditionally the penis-havers do the proposing in Breederville. But it’s not unheard of for someone to make a marriage proposal to

If your boyfriend considers it cheating, then it’s cheating. But I think you should see a pro dom for a no-sex domination session. (Most pro doms offer only no-sex sessions.) You might find the reality of being abused by a dominant woman less arousing than the fantasy, so a single session could snap you out of this out-of-sexual-character fever. If it doesn’t? Then you need to have a talk with your boyfriend about whether you can have him and your femdom fantasies and/or realities, too. Good luck.

I’M SO GLAD I’M GAY BECAUSE MY HUSBAND AND I DON’T HAVE THE OPTION OF DEFAULTING TO THE STUPID GENDER NORMS.

I’m a straight 18-year-old girl, and I have been dating my boyfriend for eight months. He recently told me that he wishes we never had sex because he feels like he raped himself by doing it. He has had some bad sexual experiences in the past, but he has initiated almost all of our sexual activity. He says he has problems and a low sense of self-worth. I told him that we can take it slow, but I’m not sure he’s ever going to be all right with sexual things. He said that he doesn’t mind if I get sex from other people, but I want to help him understand that he’s a good person and that sex isn’t a bad thing. How do I do this?

MY SAD BOYFRIEND

Your boyfriend doesn’t need a girlfriend. He needs loving, concerned friends (you could be one) and a trained, competent therapist (you are not one). If having a girlfriend with sexual interests and needs traumatizes your boyfriend, then he shouldn’t have a girlfriend with sexual interests and needs. If he’s a miserable, gameplaying jerk who likes to make other people miserable, and he’s discovered that playing the victim after sex makes his girlfriend miserable, then you shouldn’t have him. * Gandhi did not say that. He said: “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change.”

This holiday season, send the Savage Lovecast as a gift! Find it at savagelovecast.com.

SEND IN YOUR QUESTIONS TO MAIL@SAVAGELOVE.NET AND FIND THE SAVAGE LOVECAST (DAN’S WEEKLY PODCAST) AT THESTRANGER.COM/SAVAGE

54

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.18/12.25.2013

Free Will Astrology

FOR THE WEEK OF

12.18-12.25

{BY ROB BREZSNY}

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Many farms in California’s Tulare County grow produce for supermarket chains. Here’s the problem: Those big stores only want fruits and vegetable that look perfect. So if there are brown spots on the apples or if the zucchinis grow crooked or if the carrots get too big, they are rejected. As a result, 30 percent of the crops go unharvested. That’s sad because a lot of poor people who live in Tulare don’t have enough to eat. Fortunately, some enterprising food activists have begun to work out arrangements with farmers to collect the wasted produce and distribute it to the hungry folks. I gather there’s a comparable situation in your life, Sagittarius: unplucked resources and ignored treasures. In 2014, I hope you take dramatic action to harvest and use them.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Derrick Brown has a poem entitled “Pussycat Interstellar Naked Hotrod Mofo Ladybug Lustblaster!” I hope that at least once in 2014 you will get up the nerve to call someone you love by that name. Even if you can’t quite bring yourself to utter those actual words, it will be healing for you to get to the point where you feel wild enough to say them. Here’s what I’m driving at, Capricorn: In the coming months, you will be wise to shed any inhibitions that have interfered with you getting all of the free-flowing intimacy you’d love to have.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “Artists who are content merely to hone their gifts eventually come to little,” says the Belgian writer Simon Leys. “The ones who truly leave their mark have the strength and the courage to explore and exploit their shortcomings.” I’d like to borrow that wisdom and provide it for you to use in 2014, Aquarius. Even if you’re not an artist, you will be able to achieve an interesting

kind of success if you’re willing to make use of the raw materials and untapped potential of your so-called flaws and weaknesses. Whatever is unripe in you will be the key to your creativity.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In 2014, you will have the mojo to escape a frustration that has drained you and pained you for a long time. I mean you can end its hold on you for good. The coming months will also provide you with the chance to activate and cultivate a labor of love that will last as long as you live. While this project may not bloom overnight, it will reveal its staying power in dramatic fashion. And you will be able to draw on the staunch faith you’ll need to devote yourself to it until its full blessings ripen.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Life is best organized as a series of daring ventures from a secure base,” wrote psychologist John Bowlby. Some of you Aries enjoy the “daring venture” part of that formula, but neglect the

get your yoga on! give the gift of good health JLIW FHUWLÀFDWHV FDQ EH SXUFKDVHG RQOLQH DW

VFKRROKRXVH\RJD FRP

“secure base” aspect. That’s why your daring ventures may on occasion go awry. If you are that type of Ram, the first half of 2014 will be an excellent time to correct your bad habit. Life will be offering you considerable help and inspiration in building a strong foundation. And if you already appreciate how important it is for your pursuit of excitement to be rooted in well-crafted stability, the coming months will be golden.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Here’s a tale of three renowned Taurus brainiacs: Immanuel Kant, John Stuart Mill and Bertrand Russell. They all had IQs over 175 and all made major contributions to philosophy. Yet all three were physically inept. Kant had trouble keeping a sharp point on his writing instrument, the quill, because he was clumsy using a knife. Mill was so undexterous he found it a chore to tie a knot. Russell’s physical prowess was so limited he was incapable of brewing a pot of tea. Chances are that you are neither as brilliant nor as uncoordinated as these three men. And yet, like them, there is a disconnect between your mind and body — some glitch in the way the two of them communicate w with each other. The coming year will be an excellent time to heal the disconnect and fix the glitch.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): A horticultural company in the U.K. is selling TomTato plants to home gardeners. Each bush grows both cherry tomatoes and white potatoes. The magic was accomplished through handcrafted hybridization, not genetic engineering. I foresee a comparable marvel in your long-term future, Gemini. I’m not sure about the exact form it will take. Maybe you will create a product or situation that allows you to satisfy two different needs simultaneously. It’s possible you will find a way to express two of your talents in a single mode. Or perhaps you will be able to unite two sides of you that have previously been unbonded. Congratulations in advance!

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.18/12.25.2013

Leonardo da Vinci created the painting “St. Jerome in the Wilderness” around 1480. It now hangs in the Pinacoteca Vaticana, a museum in Vatican City. For several centuries, though, the treasured work of art was missing. Legend tells us that in the early 19th century, Napoleon’s uncle found the lower half of the painting in a junk shop in Rome. Years later he stumbled upon the top half in another back alley, where it was being used as a wedge in a shoemaker’s bench. I foresee the possibility of a comparable sequence unfolding for you in 2014, Virgo. You just may manage to restore a lost beauty to its proper place of honor, one step at a time.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The Italian painter Tintoretto (1518-1594) was a Libra. He worked with such vigor and passion that he was nicknamed Il Furioso — The Furious. One of his crowning achievements was his painting “Paradise,” which is 74 feet long and 30 feet tall — about the size of a tennis court. It adorns a huge wall in the Doge’s Palace, a landmark in Venice. I propose that Tintoretto serve as one of your inspirational role models in 2014. The coming months will be an excellent time for you to work hard at crafting your own personal version of paradise on earth. You may not be so wildly robust to deserve the title “Il Furioso.” But then again, you might.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): When did you first fall from grace? Do you remember? It has happened to most of us. We spend time being privileged or cared about or

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Testify at Freewillastrology.com.

“To destroy is always the first step in any creation,” said the poet e.e. cummings. Do you buy that idea, Cancerian? I hope so, because the cosmos has scheduled you to instigate some major creative action in 2014. In order to fulfill that potential, you will have to metaphorically smash, burn and dissolve any old structures that have been standing in the way of the future. You will have to eliminate as many of the “yes, buts” and “I can’ts” and “not nows” as you possibly can.

56

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):

Between 2002 and 2009, Buddhist monk Endo Mitsunaga spent a thousand days meditating as he did a ceremonial walk around Mount Hiei in Japan. In 2006, English writer Dave Cornthwaite took 90 days to skateboard across the entire length of Australia, a distance of 3,618 miles. The first man’s intentions were spiritual, the second man’s adventurous. The coming months will be prime time for you to contemplate both kinds of journeys, Scorpio. The astrological omens suggest that you will generate extra good fortune for yourself by seeking out unfamiliar experiences on the open road. To get yourself in the mood, ruminate on the theme of pilgrimage.

CANCER (June 21-July 22):

VWULS GLVWULFW VTXLUUHO KLOO QRUWK KLOOV

respected, and then, suddenly, we no longer are.

We lose our innocence. Love disappears. Our status as a favorite comes to an end. That’s the bad news, Leo. The good news is that I think the months ahead may be time for you to climb back up to one of those high states of grace that you fell from once upon a time. The omens suggest that even now you’re making yourself ready to rise back up — and sooner than you think, there will be an invitation to do so.

GO TO REALASTROLOGY.COM TO CHECK OUT ROB BREZSNY’S EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES AND DAILY TEXT-MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. THE AUDIO HOROSCOPES ARE ALSO AVAILABLE BY PHONE AT 1-877-873-4888 OR 1-900-950-7700

FOR INFORMATION ON HOW TO PLACE A CLASSIFIEDS ADVERTISEMENT, CALL 412.316.3342 EXT. 189

LIVE 57 + WORK 57 + STUDIES 58 + SERVICES 59 + WELLNESS 60

LIVE REAL ESTATE SERVICES ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http:// www.Roommates.com.

(AAN CAN) Find your next place to “WORK” in City Paper!

EAST FOR RENT

STORAGE

Squirrel Hill Apt- Updated lg. 2BR, eq. kitc w/disposal and d/w.

Washing facilities and storage, off str prkg. $1,050+g&e Avl 1/1 Call Tony 412-849-8856

ABC SELF STORAGE25 x 60 storage or workspace $500 plus taxes, 12.5x40 $250 plus taxes. (2) locations Mckees Rocks & South Side. 412-403-6069

Need a job? Looking for a new employee?

Call 31-MEDIA to place a Classified ad in Pittsburgh City Paper. Call today to speak with one of our Classified advertising representatives.

NAMASTE! Find a healthy balance of the mind, body and spirit with one of our massage therapists, yoga, or spa businesses!

Call 412.316.3342 to advertise in City Paper.

BUY and SELL your HOME all in the Same Place!

Advertise here in the “LIVE” section of the City Paper

BUYING OR SELLING A HOME? Choose two pros who live and work in the city.

WORK HELP WANTED Help Wanted! make extra money in our free ever popular homemailer program, includes valuable guidebook! Start immediately! Genuine!

1-888-292-1120 www. easywork-fromhome. com (AAN CAN) Find a new place to “LIVE” in City Paper!

Paid in Advance!!

Make up to $1000 a week mailing brochures from home!

Helping home workers since 2001! Genuine opportunity! No experience required. Start immediately! www.process-brochures.com (AAN CAN)

VOLUNTEERS Become a volunteer tutor and help an adult learn to read.

Contact Greater Pittsburgh Literacy Council at 412.393.7600 or gplc.org Open up a Life

NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE! EOE

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to Lose Weight. 30-day money back guarantee. Herbal Program.

Also opportunity to earn up to $1,000 monthly. 1-800-492-4437

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FUN PART-TIME JOB Rick Schweikert 412-352-3417

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Call today for a consultation!

Coldwell Banker Real Estate Services 5887 Forbes Ave., Pittsburgh, PA 15217 rickschweikert@gmail.com Find me on Facebook!

REAL ESTATE SERVICES

Send your resume and cover letter to jbrock@steelcitymedia.com

We have a waiting list of 200 adults who need your help.

WANTED! 36 PEOPLE

www.healthnutrition pittsburgh.com

We are currently looking for outside sales representatives to join our advertising team.

Want to work Steeler and Pitt games?

Concerts? Landmark Event Staffing, an industry leader in event staffing and security, is looking to hire enthusiastic, customerservice oriented people to work events in and around the city of Pittsburgh. You must be at least 18 yrs. of age and able to pass a criminal background check. Veterans, students, retirees and those looking for an exciting first OR second income ome are ALL welcome to apply.

Call our Pittsburgh office to set up an appointment.

Design Engineer This position is an exciting addition to the existing Engineering Department at Circadiance. Circadiance develops, manufactures and markets respiratory products for people with sleep disordered breathing or who need non -invasive ventilation. The primary function of the Design Engineer is to support the new product development process including manufacturing, quality and supplier selection. The successful candidate will be able to design new products and product improvements/perform sustaining engineering activities & evaluate the patent landscape.

Required: • BS Degree in Mechanical Engineering or equivalent • Preferred Masters in Mechanical or Biomedical Engineering • 3 years exp. in medical device co.

PLEASE APPLY TO: careers@circadiance.com And view Full job description at www.circadiance.com

412-321-2707

DISCLAIMER: ALTHOUGH MOST ADVERTISING IN PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER ARE LEGITIMATE BUSINESSES, PRIOR TO INVESTING MONEY OR USING A SERVICE LOCATED WITHIN ANY SECTION OF THE CLASSIFIEDS WE SUGGEST THE FOLLOWING PROCEDURE: ASK FOR REFERENCES & BUSINESS LICENSE NUMBER, OR CALL/WRITE: THE BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU AT 412-456-2700 / 300 SIXTH AVE., STE 100-UL / PITTSBURGH, PA 15222. REMEMBER: IF IT SOUNDS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, IT USUALLY IS! N E W S

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TA S T E

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STUDIES CLINICAL STUDIES Place your Classified advertisment in City Paper. Call 412.316.3342

412-650-6155

CONSTIPATION? CALL TODAY!

412.363.1900 CTRS

HIGH CHOLESTEROL CALL TODAY!

CLINICAL STUDIES

CLINICAL STUDIES

FEELING DOWN?

Advertise your GOODS in City Paper and reach over 300,000 readers per month. Now that’s SERVICE!

ARE THERE TIMES WHEN YOU FEEL OVERLY ENERGETIC?

DIABETES? Call Preferred Primary Care Physicians at

CLINICAL STUDIES

SLEEP RESEARCH STUDY for healthy adults ages 18-30 with good sleep. Participation involves fMRI scans, sleep monitoring, and includes spending a full weekday in our sleep lab. Compensation provided.

Call 412-383-2159 or visit veteranssleep.pitt.edu for more information

Ink Well {BY BEN TAUSIG}

To see if you might qualify for a research study at the University of Pittsburgh text ‘mood’ to 412-999-2758 or call 412-246-5588

See what our clients are saying In the past two years, I’ve both the been very satisfied with ponse res the and ads design of our I have to they evoke. When I know jects in advertise for research sub ediately the 24-35 age group, I imm er. think of using the City Pap

412.363.1900 CTRS

— Mary Beth Tedesco, CRNP, University of Pittsburgh

ACROSS

Love them, Protect them, Immunize them Like Li ke seatbellts ts, ca carr seats, bike bi k helmets, an ke a d li l fe jackets

Flu Vaccine has the Power to Protect A nual flu vaccination is recommended An for everyone 6 months and older.

Learn more at: www.cdc.gov/flu

58

JUST TOSS IT

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.18/12.25.2013

1. Mated, as horses 5. “Beat it” 10. Chain with active cultures 14. Rock that cannot, in fact, be contained in a lamp 15. Like most parental tastes, to children 16. Joey Lawrence catchphrase on “Blossom” 17. Place to bake 18. Senator Sam who investigated Watergate 19. The I of I.M. Pei 20. Where a “Gilligan’s Island” hottie moved after striking it rich?

23. “That’s me” 24. Having a high BMI 26. Gloves worn mostly in spring, summer, and fall 29. Heavyweight org. generally assumed to be corrupt 32. Havens 34. “Children of her type contrive the purest philosophies” Nabokov girl 35. Herding sheep?

38. Ready, as fruit 40. Instrument with keys and a bench 41. Talk Like a Pirate Day phrase 42. What Gaia and Athena use to alert other drivers?

45. Child 46. Nick who played John Connor in “Terminator 3”

47. Buddhist school 48. ___ brûlée 50. Copperhead, e.g.

52. South Korea’s fourth-largest company 53. Drag, and a hint to this puzzle’s theme 60. Start to wake 62. Cry at the county fair 63. Ice-T’s wife 64. Small iPod option 65. Grammy-winning Renaissance man Steve 66. Uptight, as it were 67. Doesn’t share 68. Body images?

69. Fall faller

DOWN 1. Oprah’s Life Lift, e.g.

2. Sitarist Shankar 3. Settled up 4. “Fudge” 5. Word before donor or bank 6. 2006 Pixar hit 7. Say you can make it to the party, say 8. Continent with about twenty cities larger than New York 9. ___ Park, California (site of Facebook’s headquarters) 10. Once bitten, ___ 11. “Q: How does Moses make tea?

A: Hebrews it,” e.g.

12. Halloween word 13. “Yes” 21. Right on the map?

22. Certain quatrain pattern 25. Omnipotent one, in Hebrew

26. Colorful Mexican cocktails, in slang 27. Dolts 28. Evading a question, as it were 29. Rachel of “The Constant Gardener” 30. Tycho who taught Johannes Kepler 31. Great works, collectively 33. “Humble” living space 36. Some printers 37. Word incorrectly paired with “either” 39. Star and director of the biopic “Pollock” 43. Nevada city whose Shoshoni name means “pile of rocks” 44. CBS drama spun off from “JAG”

49. Big name in mobility scooters 51. U.K. university where Daniel Libeskind trained 52. Alan who lost to Obama in 2004 54. Do really well, as it were 55. Explorer on Nickelodeon 56. Depend (on) 57. Actress Skye of “Say Anything ...”

58. Org. with a self-serving category called “student athletes” 59. Eisenhower course sport 60. “Unbelievable,” in online slang 61. Telenovela family member {LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS}

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866-413-6293. Void in Illinois/New Mexico/ Indiana (AAN CAN)

Your ad could be here

The following calendar maintains the tradition of meeting at 6:00 p.m. on the fourth Tuesday of every calendar month except as noted.

The several meetings proposed for Council Chambers attempt to respond to the public recommendation that meeting at a centralized location may encourage increased public attendance.

Get the most for your money in CP Classifieds. We get great results. Call 412.316.3342

All Meetings Scheduled to Begin at 6:00 p.m.

PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Call us first. Living expenses, housing, medical, and continued support afterwards. Choose adoptive family of your choice. Call 24/7. 877362-2401 (AAN CAN)

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CITIZEN POLICE REVIEW BOARD CPRB 2014 PITTSBURGH MEETING DATES AND HOST NEIGHBORHOODS

412.316.3342

Date

Neighborhood

Address

January 28, 2014

Council Chambers

510 City-County Building 414 Grant Street Pittsburgh, PA 15219 (412) 255-2142-office

February 25, 2014

Council Chambers

510 City-County Building Pittsburgh, PA 15219

March 25, 2014

South Side Chamber of Commerce

1100 East Carson Street Pittsburgh, PA 15203 (412) 431-3360 (Z3)

April 22, 2014

Council Chambers

510 City-County Building Pittsburgh, PA 15219

May 27, 2014

Hazelwood Senior Center

5344 Second Avenue Pittsburgh, PA 15207 (412) 422-6549 (Z4)

June 24, 2014

Freedom Unlimited, Inc. Director: Alma Speed Fox

2201 Wylie Avenue Pittsburgh, PA 15219 (412) 434-0922 – office (412) 471-1313 – fax (Z2)

July 22, 2014

Council Chambers

510 City-County Building Pittsburgh, PA 15219

August, 2014 -Combined with September 23, 2014

Council Chambers

510 City-County Building Pittsburgh, PA 15219

October 28, 2014

Kingsley Association

6435 Frankstown Avenue Pittsburgh, PA 15206 (412) 661-8751 (Z5)

November, 2014 - Combined with December 2, 2014

Council Chambers

510 City-County Building Pittsburgh, PA 15219

(The public will be notified of any change of date or location through media publication.)

For Further Information: 412-765-8023 Confidential TipLine: 412-255-CPRB N E W S

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WELLNESS HEALTH AND WELLNESS Sneakers not meant to be in the box. New Balance Pittsburgh.

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STAR Superior Chinese Massage Free Table Shower w/60min Open 10-10 Daily

1310 E. Carson St. 412-488-3951

Aming’s Massage Therapy

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Chinese Bodyworks

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Xie LiHong’s

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NOW IN SQUIRREL HILL! Specializing in hand blown water and glass pipes and incense.

J&S

China Massage

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$60 per hour FREE Table Shower UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT

Pittsburgh’s Premier Smoke Shop

1788 Golden Mile Hwy Monroeville, PA 15146

1918 Murray Ave 412-422-6361 or 561-665-0592

Next to PNC Bank

Call for more information

Water Pipes And Glass W lass For All Your Smoking Needs

Student Discount w/valid ID Public Parking Located behind bldg

724-519-7896

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.18/12.25.2013

FOR TOBACCO USE ONLY

Judy’s Oriental Massage GRAND OPENING!

FULL BODY MASSAGE $40/hr

$10 Coupon with this ad

4125 William Penn Hwy, Murrysville, PA 15668 Across the street from Howard Hanna’s

724-519-2950

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Premiere Outpatient Drug and Alcohol Treatment Family Owned and Operated Treating: Alcohol, Opiates, Heroin and More

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CROSS CULTURAL For Sister Rosaire Kopczenski, art is a spiritual endeavor {BY ABBY MENDELSON}

SURROUNDED BY LIT candles and recorded chants, she hunches over the small icon. Painting carefully, painstakingly, her colors are glowing gold, electric blue, blood red. “I like an atmosphere of quiet spirituality,” Sister Rosaire Kopczenski says.

To make religious icons properly, she says, “Artists enwrap themselves in meditation as they paint. They say prayers before they begin: ‘May I do this work with devotion and diligence, receiving Your divine grace and blessings, and never with a spirit of rapaciousness or monetary greed.’ Then, when we are calm and spiritually engrossed in the images, we are transfigured.” She pauses. “Icons help us enter the world beyond.”

Sister Rosaire smiles, nods, goes back to her extraordinary craft. “I feel inspired to do this,” she says. “It’s a calling to be with God as you paint.”

indigent women in shelters and on the street during her sixdecade career. But as the daughter of a mold-maker who ran his own foundry, she also grew up making art, and later earned degrees in fine arts and arts history. She’s taught art in both high school and college.

After discovering iconography some 15 years ago, she took classes “to adjust my style,” she recalls. Her figures became more stylized, her palate strictly controlled by symbolism. “I was able to accept the canons and speak the language of icons,” Sister Rosaire says. “More than that, I felt that I could use icons to help people who need a spiritual door opened.”

Over time, Sister Rosaire became so proficient that she decided to give iconography classes. These days, she uses the basement art room of the Mount Alvernia Motherhouse, a

“I FEEL INSPIRED TO DO THIS. IT’S A CALLING TO BE WITH GOD AS YOU PAINT.” The icons’ colors, images, letters are hypnotic. The figures are angular, the eyes almond-shaped and piercing. “An icon is a window into Heaven,” she says.

The images she paints include both individual portraits and tableaus that tell a story: The Nativity, for instance, has elements of the Three Kings, the journey to Bethlehem, the flight to Egypt. Her work today is a painting of Mary of Egypt, a prostitute who encountered an icon in church, repented, converted, and became a saintly woman of the desert.

“There’s a lesson here,” Sister Rosaire says: “If she can change her life for the better, other people can, too.

“Icons do help people,” she adds. “Icons are there when difficult times come. Icons instruct people to remember that they can reach the good in their lives rather than surrender to distractions.”

Sister Rosaire reached the good quite some time ago.

Devout as a teen, she took vows right out of high school.

“I had a need to find what I had to offer others,” she recalls.

“Where their needs were. I found that I identified with the poor.”

Taking her cue from St. Francis of Assisi, who cast away an indolent life to serve the needy, she joined the Sisters of St. Francis, an order that began by working with lepers in 19thcentury Hawaii. Sister Rosaire herself has worked with

re-cast Millvale high school. Her students, ranging in age from 37 to 87, are drawn to the tantalizing figures, storytelling and spirituality.

And increasingly, in this highly secular age, when churches and religious schools seem to close daily, her students are also drawn to something they can’t find elsewhere. Something spiritual, something greater than themselves. Something consoling. And icons are an entry, an invitation.

“They feel God in what they do,” Sister Rosaire says of her students. “They feel spiritual grace when they paint. Every stroke is an act of love. Every stroke is a prayer.”

When they’ve finished their icons, she tells her students to make a beautiful corner in their homes for their sanctified art and then find in that place peace and love and prayer. “Each icon,” she tells them, “is a reminder of who you are. Of the fact that God is in you, and that you are a part of God. “Icons,” she continues, “should affect your life. They should help you be more calm and peaceful. They should enable you to meet the problems of the day with more sanity. In that way, icons are transformative. They make you more loving than you were before.”

Sister Rosaire speaks quietly now, her head down, her hands nestling in her lap. “The world is chaotic,” she muses. “Wired.

Painting icons is calming. Centering. In your soul there’s a quietness. When you finish an icon, you’re still and quiet.”

INF O @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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