January 9, 2013

WWW.PGHCITYPAPER.COM | 01.09/01.16.2013

FREAK OCCURRENCE: ALT-COUNTRY ACT FREAKWATER MAKES RARE PITTSBURGH VISIT 17

2

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.09./01.16.2013

EVENTS 1.11 – 7pm OUT OF THE BOX: TIME CAPSULE OPENING WITH TIME CAPSULES CATALOGUERS Free with Museum admission/Free for Members

1.25 – 8pm OFF THE WALL 2013: TAMMY FAYE STARLITE: CHELSEA MÄDCHEN Tickets $25/$20 Members & students

1.26 – 8pm SOUND SERIES: BONNIE “PRINCE” BILLY, WITH SPECIAL GUEST, TITLE TK Carnegie Lecture Hall (Oakland) Co-presented with Carnegie Museum of Art, in conjunction with the exhibition Cory Arcangel: Masters Tickets $18/$15 Members

1.31 – 8:30pm JOHN WATERS: INTIMATE GALLERY TALK REGARDING WARHOL: SIXTY ARTISTS, FIFTY YEARS Tickets $150 (30 person capacity)

2.8 – 8pm OFF THE WALL 2013: SHANA MOULTON AND NICK HALLETT: WHISPERING PINES 10 Co-presented with Carnegie Mellon University, School of Fine Art Tickets $25/$20 Members & students

2.22

&

2.23 – 8pm

OFF THE WALL 2013: DAVID CALE: HARRY CLARKE Tickets $25/$20 Members & students

3.8

Come worship John Waters as he brings his solo stand-up performance This Filthy World to Carnegie Music Hall.

&

3.9 – 8pm

OFF THE WALL 2013: SEINENDAN THEATER COMPANY – ROBOT/ANDROID - HUMAN THEATER Co-presented with Japan-America Society of Pennsylvania Tickets $25/$20 Members & students

Presented in connection with Regarding Warhol: Sixty Artists, Fifty Years.

February 1 at 8 pm at Carnegie Music Hall (Oakland). For tickets, visit Warhol.org

Calling all devout worshippers. Come mingle with an intimate group as John Waters gives a gallery talk relating to Regarding Warhol: Sixty Artists, Fifty Years January 31 at 8:30 pm at the Warhol. For one of thirty tickets, visit Warhol.org.

N E W S

+

TA S T E

+

M U S I C

+

S C R E E N

+

A R T S

+

The Andy Warhol Museum receives state arts funding support through a grant from the Pennsylvania Council on the Arts, a state agency funded by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania; the National Endowment for the Arts, a federal agency and The Heinz Endowments. Further support is provided by the Allegheny Regional Asset District.

E V E N T S

+

C L A S S I F I E D S

3

The

2013

SPIRIT KING of

Award Ceremony January 10, 2013

This annual award honors lifetime achievement in the spirit of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Port Authority, The Kingsley Association The Pittsburgh Pirates and the New Pittsburgh Courier are proud to present Barbara A. Sizemore, Ph.D. as the 2013 Spirit of King honoree.

Thursday, January 10th 10:00 am at The Kingsley Center 6435 Frankstown Avenue.

4

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.09./01.16.2013

Over 21 • 9pm - Midnight

ROCK & BOWL! FRE E WI- FI

01.09/01.16.2013 01.09/0 VOLUME 223 + ISSUE 02

{COVER ILLUSTRATION

BY JIM RUGG}

Editor CHRIS POTTER News Editor CHARLIE DEITCH Arts & Entertainment Editor BILL O’DRISCOLL Music Editor ANDY MULKERIN Associate Editor AL HOFF Listings Editor MARGARET WELSH Assistant Listings Editor JESSICA BOGDAN Staff Writers AMYJO BROWN, LAUREN DALEY Staff Photographer HEATHER MULL Intern CATHERINE SYLVAIN

Director of Operations KEVIN SHEPHERD Production Director JULIE SKIDMORE Art Director LISA CUNNINGHAM Graphic Designers MICHAEL ARTMAN, SHEILA LETSON, JENNIFER TRIVELLI

06

[VIEWS]

the long-term value of a Penn State 10 “Ifdiploma is cheapened for years to come, it’s not because the NCAA took JoePa’s wins away.” — Chris Potter on Tom Corbett’s ill-advised lawsuit against the NCAA

14

[MUSIC]

17

Director of Advertising JESSIE AUMAN-BROCK Senior Account Executives TOM FAULS, PAUL KLATZKIN, JEFF MARTIN, SANDI MARTIN, JEREMY WITHERELL Advertising Representatives JESSICA GRETZ, MATT HAHN, JESSE HERRLE, CHRIS JURAN, SCOTT KLATZKIN, JUSTIN MATASE, ERIKA MILLER Classified Manager ANDREA JAMES Classified Advertising Representative TERRANCE P. MARTIN Radio Sales Manager CHRIS KOHAN National Advertising Representative VMG ADVERTISING 1.888.278.9866 OR 1.212.475.2529

Marketing Director DEANNA KRYMOWSKI Marketing and Promotions Coordinator LINDSEY GUARD Advertising and Promotions Coordinator ASHLEY WALTER Radio Promotions Director VICKI CAPOCCIONI-WOLFE Radio Promotions Assistants ANDREW BILINSKY, DEAN JACOBS

“The Blue Blazer is not something everyone can or should make.”

— Greg “Dutch” DeVries, on his flaming cocktail “We’ve never been to Buffalo when it wasn’t January.” — Catherine Irwin of Freakwater, on dubious timing for a northeastern U.S. tour

EVERY

ROCK AND BOWL

Wednesday

$ 8 A L L YO U C A N B O W L + L I V E BA NDS 1/9> DEWEY MARQUEE & IVORY WEEDS • 1/16> XTREMELY LOADED

EVERY

'80S/'90S NIGHT

Thursday

$ 8 A L L YO U C A N B O W L 1 /1 0 > ' 9 0 S NI G H T • 1 /1 7 > ' 8 0 S NI G H T

W/DJ mockster

DJ & KARAOKE $9.95 ALL YOU CAN BOWL WI TH DJ & KARAOKE

EVERY SAT SUPER SATURDAY A $7 ALL YOU CAN BOWL, 12-3PM

fternoon

EVERY

Saturday

TOP SHELF saturday night $9.95 ALL YOU CAN BOWL • $1 OFF ALL TOP SHELF DRINKS

EVERY SUN 50¢ SUNDAZE 50¢ BOWLING, A SHOES, HOT DOGS AND SODAS • 1- 4PM

fternoon

EVERY

DJ NIGHT + PRIZES

Sunday

W/ THE MOCKS TER • $8 ALL YOU CAN BOWL

EVERY

Monday

SERVICE INDUSTRY NIGHT $8 ALL YOU CAN BOWL • $1.00 DRAF TS

EVERY

COLLEGE NIGHT

Tuesday

50¢ BOWLING • 50¢ DRAF TS

Business Manager BEVERLY GRUNDLER Circulation Director JIM LAVRINC Office Administrator RODNEY REGAN Technical Director PAUL CARROLL Interactive Media Manager CARLO LEO

a lot of empty space for 26 “There’s filmgoers to fill in their own reactions to this post-9/11 decade, which we’ve all processed differently.” — Al Hoff, reviewing Zero Dark Thirty

{PUBLISHER} STEEL CITY MEDIA

[ARTS]

go back and forth between 29 “We regarding traditional societies as primitive

brutes from whom we can learn nothing” and idealizing and romanticizing them.

— Jared Diamond, author of Guns, Germs and Steel and The World Until Yesterday

[LAST PAGE] asked, “Your grandmother’s on 47 “Idrugs?’”

— Poet Jimmy Cvetic on a boxer who never stops fighting

{REGULAR & SPECIAL FEATURES} NEWS OF THE WEIRD BY CHUCK SHEPHERD 12 EVENTS LISTINGS 32 SAVAGE LOVE BY DAN SAVAGE 39 FREE WILL ASTROLOGY BY ROB BREZSNY 41 CROSSWORD PUZZLE BY BEN TAUSIG 44 +

i n revitalize revitalizedd Lawrenceville WWW.ARSENALBOWL.COM

{ADMINISTRATION}

[SCREEN]

N E W S

412-683-5992 44TH AND BUTLER ST.

EVERY

{MARKETING+PROMOTIONS}

[TASTE]

BOOK YOUR S PARTIE NOW!

Friday

{ADVERTISING}

“This is just another addiction for the state coffers to feed off of.” — Antigambling activist Bill Kearney on Tom Corbett’s plan to introduce keno to bars and restaurants

L AL NA EN SE RS bowl.com AR A

{EDITORIAL}

{ART}

[NEWS]

at the world-famous

TA S T E

GENERAL POLICIES: Contents copyrighted 2013

by Steel City Media. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission of the publisher. The opinions expressed in Pittsburgh City Paper are those of the author and not necessarily of Steel City Media. LETTER POLICY: Letters, faxes or e-mails must be signed and include town and daytime phone number for confirmation.

We may edit for length and clarity. DISTRIBUTION: Pittsburgh City Paper is published weekly by Steel City Media and is available free of charge at select distribution locations. One copy per reader; copies of past issues may be purchased for $3.00 each, payable in advance to Pittsburgh City Paper. FIRST CLASS MAIL SUBSCRIPTIONS: Available for $175 per year, $95 per half year. No refunds.

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 650 Smithfield Street, Suite 2200 Pittsburgh, PA 15222 412.316.3342 FAX: 412.316.3388 E-MAIL info@pghcitypaper.com www.pghcitypaper.com

+

M U S I C

18 TOTAL AWARDS, INCLUDING BEST CASINO!

2012

+

S C R E E N

+

A R T S

+

E V E N T S

+

C L A S S I F I E D S

5

INCOMING

“THIS IS JUST ANOTHER ADDICTION FOR THE STATE COFFERS TO FEED OFF OF.”

Re: Promised Land: Gus Van Sant’s fracking film is less a muck-raking piece than a character study (Jan. 2) “[L]et’s face the facts [that] without clean water, we’re all up the creek! Citizens of the state of Pennsylvania will rightly complain: You cannot drill and/or pollute, contaminate or conspire to ruin the water soil table of fresh clean spring water! … Without action, our drinking water sources are in danger. ... Promised Land story-line is ‘on target,’ and concern for clean water that is vital to health of people!”

— Facebook comment from “Ginny Hope”

0.28 0.46 01 1.41 02

Re: Anti-capitalists host weekly discussion series in Lawrenceville (Jan. 2) “Capitalism has brought the U.S. to be the most successful, wealthy and powerful nation in the history of the world.

Socialism/Communism/Dictatorships have never been successful. If you want the basics in life, Russia, China, Iran or Greece is the place for you. … This group will continue to live in their bizzare (sic) little dream world and thankfully will have NO affect (sic) on the rest of the population.“ — Web comment from “Jeff Becker”

Re: Packing Heat: In Harrisburg and D.C., the NRA has opponents outgunned (Jan. 2) “This issue is way too polarized on both sides. Can’t dispute either side’s assertions without shrill responses.”

— Web comment from “Dan Sullivan”

03

04

05 5.26 06

07

08

09

10

11

12 17

13 18

14 19

15 20

16 21

22

23

24

25

26

27

28

29

30

31

32

33

34

35

36

37 38 39 42 42.8 43

40 44

41 45

House edge is the mathematical advantage that the casino, or the state in the case of the proposed keno games, has over the player.

THE HIGHER THE HOUSE EDGE, THE LOWER YOUR CHANCES ARE OF WINNING.

Blackjack Video Poker Craps Roulette Slot Machines Keno*

0.28 0.46 1.41 5.26 15.0 42.8

*House edge of keno run by the state of Maryland

Black Yoga brings Om and om together (Nov. 21) “Yoga means to Yoke up with God, here in the West we are Yoking up to Ego-related nonsense, what else is new when Ancient Sacred knowledge gets put thru the American ringer?”

— Web comment from “Katao”

“On an aesthetic level, Pittsburgh’s transition from Fall to Winter is like watching a time lapse of Val Kilmer aging.”

— Jan. 7 tweet from “Seth Eaton” (@setheaton)

6

SOURCE: Michael Shackleford, UNLV professor of casino mathematics (www.wizardofodds.com)

NUMBERS GAME

Tom Corbett wants to bet on keno; are your wallet and well-being worth the risk? {BY CHARLIE DEITCH}

T

HE RULES of traditional keno are

simple: A player picks 20 numbers out of a possible 80. The more numbers you hit, the more money you win. And if Gov. Tom Corbett’s plan to privatize the state’s lottery system goes through, finding a place to play will be easy as well. You’ll be able to sit down in front of a video terminal at your favorite bar or restaurant, and play.

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.09./01.16.2013

But when it comes to gambling, nothing is ever straightforward.

Keno is the linchpin of Corbett’s plan to turn over management of the lottery to Camelot Global Services, which runs the United Kingdom’s national lottery.

Camelot, the sole bidder to compete for the management contract, has pledged to deliver lottery revenues to the state of $34

billion over 20 years — a projection that assumes keno will be legalized statewide.

That may sound like a great deal for the state, and for the senior citizens who depend on government programs supported by lottery proceeds. But it’s not necessarily a great deal for players themselves. Experts say the odds in keno favor the house even more than in other games of chance.

“If your goal is to make more revenue off of people playing games in bars, I’d go with keno every day of the week,” says Eliot Jacobson, a California-based casinogames analyst.

What’s more, worry some observers, the atmosphere of many barrooms isn’t conducive to doing the math.

“The technology that supports this game is very high-speed, can lead to very high stakes, and the proximity of these games to alcohol could lead to some bad decisions,” says Keith Whyte, executive director for the National Council on Problem Gambling.

Raising concerns even further is the fact that Corbett seems intent on playing cards close to his vest. While the legalization of slots parlors was hotly debated for years, Corbett maintains that he doesn’t need legislative approval either to privatize the lottery system or to begin offering keno.

But the stakes are too high for such a move to be made without extensive debate, says Whyte: “There is absolutely a massive need for input on this issue.”

STATE OFFICIALS say that

Gov. Tom Corbett

not yet available, the game will be located in bars and restaurants, much like lottery vendors on video monitors.

Keno could provide the state with an additional $150 million to $195 million annually. As with existing state lottery games, that money would be earmarked for programs benefiting the elderly.

But for the state to win that money, gamblers have to lose it. And while almost every game of chance favors the house, says Michael Shackleford, from the player’s perspective, “Along with slots, keno is the worst choice of any game in a casino.”

Shackleford teaches a class on casino math at the University of Nevada Las Vegas; he runs a website titled after his nickname, wizardofodds.com, and has extensively studied casino games.

One of the features of his website is the calculation of what is known in gambling as the “house edge”: a calculation of just how much the odds favor the house — and thus how much a casino can expect to win on a particular game, or how much the player can expect to lose.

The house edge on keno can fluctuate based depending on how the game is set up. That information for Pennsylvania’s proposed system is not yet known. Brassell says Pennsylvania’s keno would likely be run similarly to what other states offer.

So Shackleford calculated the house edge for the state of Maryland’s keno game, one of the country’s first. The house edge in that game fluctuates between 38 percent and 50 percent depending on how many numbers a player chooses.

The house edge in keno is very close to the 50 percent house edge for other numberdraw lottery games, according to Shackleford.

“IF YOUR GOAL IS TO MAKE MORE REVENUE OFF OF PEOPLE PLAYING GAMES IN BARS, I’D GO WITH KENO EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK.”

doubling down on gambling opportunities by adding keno is an easy call.

As the state has looked for better ways to manage the lottery system, one goal was “to learn from the industry how best to prudently increase Lottery revenues,” Elizabeth Brassell, press secretary of the state Department of Revenue, told City Paper in a written response to questions. “[I]ndustry bidders unanimously demonstrated that incorporating Internet products and monitor-based games into the Pennsylvania Lottery’s portfolio is one of the most effective ways to responsibly grow revenues.” Fourteen states already offer keno, she says.

Brassell says the game will be like the state’s old Super 7 lottery game, in which players selected 20 numbers out of a possible 80 and the winning numbers were drawn once a week. Keno drawings will be held “more frequently,” she acknowledges: Terminals in bars allow players to pick their numbers whenever the state wants to hold a drawing. And although the game’s parameters have not yet been set, Brassell notes that “in other states,, keno is typiyp cally drawn every few ew minutes throughout the day.” Although details of how the machines will be distributed are

UPMC Eye Center Eye Care & Optical Complete optical care, from exams to contacts and fashion frames. From a world-class leader in health care.

OAKLAND 3616 Forbes Ave. (next to Starbucks) 412-647-PITT (7488) Mon - Fri 8:00 a.m. – 4:30 p.m.

UPMC.COM/EyeCenter

CONTINUES ON PG. 08

N E W S

+

TA S T E

+

M U S I C

+

S C R E E N

+

A R T S

+

E V E N T S

+

C L A S S I F I E D S

7

NUMBERS GAME, CONTINUED FROM PG. 07

Compared to casino-style games, according to Shackleford’s website, keno offers far and away the worst return on your wager: Blackjack has a house edge of .28 percent, video poker has an edge of .46 percent, and craps checks in at 1.41 percent. Even the games considered to have the worst house edge in a casino — roulette (5.2 percent) and slot machines (15 percent) — don’t come close to keno.

And losses could escalate quickly, depending on how frequently the state holds drawings. “When you get into these electronic games, you can play a new game almost as fast as it takes to pick your numbers and press a button,” Shackleford says.

Jacobson agrees that the odds against winning in keno are especially steep.

“I’m definitely not one of those people that think keno or any form of gambling is evil,” sayss Jacobson, who owns a firm, Jacobson Gaming, which provides mathematical analysis of casino games. “But still ll you must remember that when it comes to a house advantage, keno d k is as tough as it gets.”

Despite the poor odds, though, Jacobson says people seem to like the game. “I’ve been in locations in Arizona where the game terminals offer both keno and video poker. Every player that I saw was playing keno even though they had a much worse chance of winning versus video poker.”

Keno’s appeal is obvious, he says: a high top prize. In the Maryland keno game (which requires 10 numbers matched for the top prize), the jackpot is $100,000. Corbett is being a “pragmatist” by choosing keno over other possible games, he says.

“It’s what people want.”

SOME STATE legislators, though, aren’t so enthusiastic — about either keno or Corbett’s plan to privatize the lottery system itself.

Currently the Pennsylvania Lottery is

run by a state commission and administered by the Pennsylvania Department of Revenue. It is the largest in the country, and last last year contributed about $1 billion to senior programs.

State Rep. Frank Dermody (D-Cheswick) says the state’s lottery system is one of the most efficient in country. And if there is to be an expansion to keno, he says, “we need to study it, look at the research, have public hearings, get information and make sure it makes sense to say, ‘Let’s just go do it.’“ Likewise, Eugene DePasquale, the state’s new auditor general, says the entire process needs more transparency. He says a “shift toward keno” would be a major policy change.

“Even if you think this is a good idea, what are the impacts of keno going to be?” asks DePasqaule. “It needs to be completely vetted and typically that’s something that’s a natural part of the legislative process, but the governor is trying to circumvent that.”

Previous attempts to expand video gambling have floundered in the legislature, in part due to opposition from conservatives in Corbett’s own GOP: Many rural politicians cite moral objections to games of chance. During Gov. Ed Rendell’s final term, for example, the administration tried to raise education funding by expanding video-poker terminals to bars, restaurants and social clubs.

The GOP-controlled legislature roundly defeated him.

Corbett himself has recently said that although he was opposed to video-poker terminals in bars, he supports keno.

What’s the difference?

“Keno is just another terminal-based Lottery game,” the Department of Revenue’s Brassell says, and the state Lottery Commission doesn’t need the legislature’s permission to roll out new variations of the Daily Number or its scratch-off instant-card

games. By contrast, she says, “Video poker is a new form of gaming that would require legislative authorization.”

Some observers take issue with such distinctions, noting that keno represents not just a variation on existing games of chance, but a whole new platform for gambling.

“I’m asked all the time if the expansion of gambling has resulted in more people becoming addicted, and that is hard to answer,” says Whyte, of the National Council on Problem Gambling. “But what I can say with certainty is that the severity of gambling addiction has gotten worse. And that’s because there is so much more access to places to gamble that it makes it harder for an addict to stay clean.

“This is a tough business for governments because this is one of the few prod-

ucts where there is a fundamental conflict of interest,” Whyte adds. “They have to maximize profits while at the same time they have a serious obligation to protect the health of [their] citizens. Balancing those economic and ethical obligations is hard.”

Bill Kearney, a self-described former gambling addict who is now a Philadelphiabased anti-gambling activist, puts things more succinctly.

“The problem with Tom Corbett is he talks out both sides of his ass,” he says. “This is just another addiction for the state coffers to feed off of.

“The thing about Corbett is, he was the attorney general. He handled cases of people embezzling money and stealing money to gamble. He knows what can happen, and he wants to make it even easier for people to get into trouble.”

C D E I T C H @ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

{BY MATT BORS}

ME. WINTER GETAWAthYatSis. faCrLfroOmSorEdiTnaOryH. O

IDIOTBOX

SCAN, CALL OR CLICK

FOR LAUREL HIGHLANDS DEALS, PACKAGES & WINTER GIVEAWAYS:

Plan a winter excursion

guaranteed to variety of packages that are a ers off ds lan gh Hi l ure The La d lodging options, to ! From diverse dining an satisfy your winter mood nd getaway snow, you can plan a weeke the in ing kk tre d an , ing tub skiing, that is just right for you.

8

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.09./01.16.2013

800.925.7669 laurelhighlands.org

ON THE RECORD

talk (and bitch and moan and laugh until your cheeks hurt) radio*

with Rustbelt Radio reporter Don Carpenter {BY LAUREN DALEY}

IT’S A STORY that’s captured national head-

lines: two high school football stars accused of raping a 16-year-old, who was too incapacitated to resist, at an August party, in Steubenville, Ohio. Since then, their friends discussed it — and at times posted photos from the ordeal on social media. It reached national attention courtesy of a December New York Times story that painted the picture of a town so obsessed with football it looked the other way. Meanwhile, the hacker group Anonymous has stoked the public fire by hacking the computers of several people involved with the case and releasing their personal information, as well as by leaking videos related to the case. Local independent journalist and Rustbelt Radio reporter Don Carpenter has been covering the case in Steubenville since the Times story broke. He recently spoke to City Paper.

*on your computer!

Don Carpenter

THAT WHAT YOU’RE DISTRIBUTING IS CREDIBLE? I won’t put out [Anonymous] docs that [contain personal information]. One, it’s illegal, and two, it opens up a can of worms for myself and it eggs people on to do whatever they want to with those addresses and phone numbers.

As far as the video … it was reported locally that this video was the starting point [of the investigation]. … Before I threw it up there, I watched it … and [compared it] to pictures [to confirm his identity]. … The fact is that the video was in the public domain at one point, and police did know about it and acknowledged it was in the public domain. I don’t feel I did anything wrong by putting it out there.

“I’VE SEEN SPECIAL-INTEREST GROUPS GET INVOLVED IN TRIALS BUT I’VE NEVER SEEN THEM COME OUT FIRING USING MEDIA AS A WEAPON.”

WHY GO TO STEUBENVILLE? It’s very slow here [in Pittsburgh] and I tried to cover Operation Westboro [the hacking and protesting of the Westboro Baptist Church] before this blew up.

Part of my involvement with the initial rally is that [the Steubenville activists] didn’t know how to set up Livestream. On the initial [protest] page on Facebook, the guy who set it up said he was concerned because he allegedly started receiving death threats to himself and his family. He wanted to delete and no one really wanted to step up and man the page. I said, “Screw it, I’ll man it but I don’t want to get involved.”

DOESN’T THAT BLUR THE LINE IN BEING OBJECTIVE AS A JOURNALIST, IF YOU BECOME PART OF THE STORY YOU’RE COVERING? A little bit. I was happy to answer questions about activism as a whole. When it came down to actual parts of organizing — “We need to get a permit, we need to do this” — I’d make it clear, I [taught them Livestream] but not as an organizer.

YOU TWEETED A VIDEO FROM ANONYMOUS THAT’S SINCE GONE VIRAL, OF TEEN MICHAEL NODIANOS JOKING FOR 13 MINUTES ABOUT THE ALLEGED RAPE. HOW DO YOU KNOW

PofE T the

LYNN WEEK CULLEN LIVE TALK RADIO without all the static

ONLINE MONDAY-FRIDAY 10-11am

only on www.pghcitypaper.com

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A CASE WHERE SOCIAL MEDIA HAS PLAYED SO LARGE A ROLE, OR WHERE A GROUP LIKE ANONYMOUS HAS BEEN A PART OF INFORMATION-SHARING? WHAT ELSE DO YOU THINK IS GOING TO COME OUT? The Anonymous involvement has blown it up whereas if they weren’t involved and if the Times hadn’t run that story, it wouldn’t have [been properly investigated].

I think a lot of weird stuff is going to come out in this trial. I’ve seen special-interest groups get involved in trials, but I’ve never seen them come out firing using media as a weapon. The Anonymous people are using media as a weapon right now and that’s all well and good when it comes to the right case … but not everyone in Steubenville is bad, as they are being portrayed to be.

The whole world is watching Steubenville right now, and Steubenville has a right to be upset; a lot of people feel they’re under fire.

WITH SPECIAL GUESTS

Pittsburgh City Paper editor Chris Potter, every Wednesday and former Andy Warhol Museum director Tom Sokolowski, every Thursday

Doc Doc is a friendly and calm gentleman who likes other dogs.

Animal Friends is looking for a loving, laid-back home for this older (and wiser!) fellow.

Call Animal Friends today!

412-847-7000

LDALEY@PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

N E W S

+

TA S T E

+

M U S I C

+

S C R E E N

+

A R T S

+

E V E N T S

+

C L A S S I F I E D S

9

Constipation?

Abdominal Bloating?

Researchers are evaluating the safety and effectiveness of an investigational drug for constipation with abdominal bloating.

You may qualify for this clinical research study if you experience any of the following symptoms:

• • • To learn more call: Clinical Trials Research Services, LLC

412-363-1900 www.ctrsllc.com

Fewer than 3 bowel movements per week Lumpy or hard stool, straining, or a sensation of incomplete evacuation during bowel movements Abdominal bloating due to chronic constipation

If you qualify, study-related care will be provided at no cost. Insurance is not needed. Participation includes up to 7 visits to the study center.

Pittsburgh moree than a kiss. mo New Year with a BANG! 7775 McKnight Road, Pittsburgh, PA 15237

412-548-3384 www.adamevepittsburgh.com

Pittsburgh’s Premier Organic Mattress Shop!

What are you sleeping with tonight?

Traditional mattresses can be made of 61 different chemicals.

Our mattresses are pure, certified organic cotton and wool with all natural latex.

Savvy Rest - Organic Mattresses, Pillows & Bedding Oeuf, NYC - Eco-Friendly Nursery Furniture Luxury Linens from Cariloha and GLO

20280 Rt 19, Suite 1, Cranberry Twp 10

724-778-8200

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.09./01.16.2013

thenaturalsleepshop.com

[POTTER’S FIELD]

UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT

Corbett suit proves just how out-of-bounds sports culture has become {BY CHRIS POTTER} FOR PENN STATE fans, it wasn’t horrifying

enough to learn that a serial child-abuser, Jerry Sandusky, had spent years preying on children in the shadows of Penn State’s vaunted football program. It wasn’t mortifying enough to have the NCAA respond by levying $60 million in fines, stripping coach Joe Paterno of 111 of his career wins, or suspending the school’s participation in bowl games. Nor was it insulting enough to have NCAA head Mark Emmert insinuate that Sandusky was enabled by a campus where “reverence for Penn State football” had made sports “too big to fail.”

No, now the school must endure another indignity: watching Gov. Tom Corbett prove that Emmert was right. When it comes to Penn State football, some of us really have lost all sense of perspective.

In a lawsuit filed Jan. 2, Corbett alleges that the sanctions violated federal law and the NCAA’s own rules — all to make the NCAA look good, and to make Penn State easier for other schools to beat.

“Logically, the other institutions are going to benefit by the demise of Penn State,” Corbett lawyer James Schultz told reporters Jan. 2, treating moral outrage as if it were a new offense devised by a conference rival.

The lawsuit whines, “Attendance at home football games is substantially down,” causing a 10 percent drop in revenue, and depressed profits for area businesses. Worse yet, it argues, the $60 million fine would prompt “tuition hikes and increased appropriations from the Pennsylvania Treasury.”

So on the bright side, it looks like Tom Corbett may increase funding for higher education after all. Getting back that $60 million could almost make up for the Penn State funding he cut from his first two budgets!

Penn State itself, however, is not a party to the lawsuit. Corbett’s complaint is filed on behalf of the rest of us. As he told reporters, “Just as we stand up and fight every day for the victims, we should stand up for those who have been punished unfairly by the NCAA.” Raped children, student athletes, body-paint retailers — in Tom Corbett’s Pennsylvania, all are equally deserving of state intervention.

Perhaps not surprisingly, some have

accused Corbett of political pandering. Parts of his complaint do read like a stump speech, lauding “hardworking Pennsylvanians” and pointedly noting Emmert’s salary. Polls show voters favor the suit, but that’s largely due to support from Penn State fans: Everyone else — from the Pittsburgh TribuneReview to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette — has blasted it. Corbett’s staff has been reduced to retweeting attaboys from such renowned legal minds as Donald Trump.

Which raises an uglier possibility: that Corbett actually believes in what he’s doing.

There’s no question that, as Corbett’s suit grouses, “[V]irtually all ‘football schools’ treat their football coaches and programs with … ‘reverence.’” The NCAA, and the big-money industry it’s built on the backs of students, is a big reason why. And Corbett’s own complaint proves that football has become “too big to fail.”

After all, he’s seeking to overturn the sanctions for the same reason George W. Bush sought to offer Wall Street bailouts: The economy depends on public confidence in these institutions, no matter what misdeeds took place inside them.

Still, what makes Corbett’s suit so noxious is the way it seems to regard Penn State as the victim here. “[W]ell beyond the term of the sanctions, the stigma attached will diminish recruitment of students and student athletes, as well as the value of a Penn State education, for decades.”

I’ll go out on a limb here and say that if the long-term value of a Penn State diploma is cheapened for years to come, it’s not because the NCAA took JoePa’s wins away. It’s because JoePa, and others, didn’t do enough to stop the abuse in the first place. If game revenues are down, maybe it’s not because of missed bowl games, but because of revulsion toward the football program that sheltered Sandusky for so long.

When the NCAA’s sanctions were announced, a Quinnipiac University poll found that even one-third of households with Penn State graduates thought the punishments were appropriate: 12 percent thought they were not severe enough.

But now Corbett professes to be acting on their behalf, too. Haven’t they suffered enough shame already?

SOME HAVE ACCUSED CORBETT OF PANDERING TO PENN STATE FANS.

C P OT T E R@ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

Do you have high cholesterol?

You may be able to take part in a clinical research study testing an investigational drug to treat people with coronary heart disease and high cholesterol.

Eligible volunteers must be: • 18 years old or older • Taking either atorvastatin, rosuvastatin, or simvastatin every day for at least 4 weeks • History or risk of heart disease and high cholesterol

Eligible volunteers receive all study-related: • • • • •

Physical examinations ECGs (tracing of your heart’s rhythm) Laboratory tests Investigational drug Compensation for your travel may be available

Clinical Trials

TONY ORLANDO

Research Services, LLC

412-363-1900

www.ctrsllc.com

Thursday, January 17

JANUARY 19 7PM & 10PM

Tickets are $35 + tax and fees Signature hits include Candida, Knock Three Times, and Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree.

Join us Jan. 17 for our NO-KIDS night and explore the science of sports in Highmark SportsWorks®!

Tickets available at Rivers Gift shop or riverscasino.com Call 412.231.7777 for more information.

Climb a rock wall, bounce on a trampoline, and experience a roller coaster simulator! Plus, alternative country band Dan Getkin and the Masters of American Music, hula hooping in the Works Theater, cash bar, and snacks available for purchase.

Visit CarnegieScienceCenter.org for more info or to register.

TICKETS: $10 in advance, $15 day of event

PERK! Get $15 in free slot play at Rivers Casino.

GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER. MUST BE 21 YEARS OR OLDER TO BE ON RIVERS CASINO PROPERTY.

N E W S

+

TA S T E

+

M U S I C

+

S C R E E N

+

A R T S

+

E V E N T S

+

C L A S S I F I E D S

11

Johnnie Bryant, CEO

+

We are looking for new clients to satisfy with our experienced cleaning services.

Specializing lizing zing in: •

Residential esidenti

New Customer Special

20% OFF

• Commercial Cleaning • Carpet Cleaning • Construction and Fire Hazard Cleaning

OF THE REGULAR PRICES • Referral Discounts Available

“WE AIM TO PLEASE BY ANY MEANS” Call to schedule your ur appointment today!!

(412 412)) 538-7850

www.JBsCleaningCompany.com www

Pane Panera era Bread B 2013 013 Martin Luther King Jr. Writing Contest Awards will be given to students in grades 9-12 1ST PLACE $500 2ND PLACE $250 • 3RD PLACE $125 In tribute to the legacy of Dr. King, Panera Bread is excited to invite high school students in the Greater Pittsburgh Area to help honor the legacy and work of this nation’s most revered leaders, by creating a contemporary reflection and response to the provided prose.

“The first question which the priest and the Levite asked was “If I stop to help the man, what will happen to me?” But... the Good Samaritan reversed the question: “If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?”

Each respondent may present a essay, poem or spoken word lyric that reflects on the following questions:

How do you feel about this quote?

What does this quote mean to you?

How can our nation use these words to honor Dr. King and the life he lived?

Essays and entry forms should be emailed to info@corpdiversity.com or mailed to CDA: 1725 Realty Avenue Pittsburgh, Pa 15216 All entries, including staff, must be postmarked or emailed by Friday, January 11, 2013.

The top 10 finalists will be notified on January 18, 2013. A celebratory breakfast will be hosted in honor of the finalist and their families on Saturday, January 26, 2013.

For more information contact: CAPA, Milliones, Obama, Science & Technology Academy, Westinghouse, Allderdice, Brashear, Carrick, Perry, Northside Urban Pathways, Career Connections and City Charter.

NEWS OF THE WEIRD {BY CHUCK SHEPHERD}

A cosmetics company in Gaza recently began selling a fragrance dedicated to victory over Israel and named after the signature M-75 M 75 missile missi that Hamas has been firing across the border. bord “The fragrance is pleasant and attractive,” said the company owner, “like the missiles of tthe Palestinian resistance,” and comes in mascu masculine and feminine varieties, at premium prices. p prices

+

The Philad Philadelphia Traffic Court has been so with ticket-fixing since its foundinfused w ing in 1938 that a recent Pennsylvania Supreme Court Cou report on the practice seemed resigned to it, according to a N ovember Philadelphia Inquirer account. One court employee was quoted as defending the favoritism as fair (as long as no money changed hands) on the grounds groun that anyone could get local politicians to call a judge for him. Thus, said the employee, “It was wa the [traffic] violator’s own fault if he or she didn’t know enough” to get help from a political connection. Traffic Judge Christine poli Solomon, elected in N ovember 2011 after a Solom career as a favor-dispensing “ward heeler,” said the ticket-fixing was “just politics, that’s all.”

+

More than 200 school districts in California have covered current expenses with “capital appreciation bonds,” which allow borrowers to forgo payments for years — but at some point require enormous balloon payments. A Los Angeles Times investigation revealed that districts have borrowed about $3 billion and thus are on the hook for more than $16 billion. “It’s the school-district equivalent of a payday loan,” said California State Treasurer Bill Lockyer, a former schoolboard member who said he’d fire anyone who sought such loans. (Some defenders of the loans pointed to schools’ occasional need for immediate money so they could qualify for federal matching grants — which, to the districts, would be “free” money.)

+

One of the principal recommendations following the Sept. 11 attacks was that emergency and rescue personnel have one secure radio frequency on which all agencies that were merged into the Department of Homeland Security could communicate. In November, the department’s inspector general revealed that, despite $430 million allotted to build and operate the frequency in the past nine years, it remains almost useless to DHS’ 123,000 employees. The report surveyed 479 workers, but found only one who knew how to find the frequency, and 72 percent did not even know one existed. (Meanwhile, half the department’s radios couldn’t have accessed it even if employees knew where to look.)

+

Remember Alaska’s “Bridge to Nowhere”? In November, the Anchorage Daily News reported that the Army Corps of Engineers is building a harbor on the Aleutian native community’s island of Akutan, even though there is no road away from it. Thus, reported KUCB Radio, the only way to get into or out of the harbor is by boat. Any connector road to the only town on the island is “likely years in the future,” according to the Daily News. As well, there is no assurance that the

largest business in the area, Trident Seafoods, would ever use the harbor.

+

In October, Austrian artist Alexander Riegler installed a one-way mirror in the ladies’ room at a cafe in Vienna to allow men’s room users to peer inside (in the name of “art,” of course). Riegler said he wanted to start a “discussion of voyeurism and surveillance.” Men could see only the faces of women standing at the lavatories, and he said then that in January, he would reverse the process and allow women to peer into the men’s rooms. (The cafe had posted a sign advising restroom users that they would be part of an “art” project.)

+

Anthony Johnson, 49, was convicted in October in Hartford, Conn., of stealing an improbably large amount of money — as much as $70,000 a weekend, off and on for five years — by crawling on the floor of darkened theaters and lifting credit cards from purses that movie-watching women had set down. The FBI said Johnson was careful to pick films likely to engross female viewers so that he could operate freely. He was often able to finish up, leave the theater, and make cashadvance withdrawals from ATMs before the movie had ended.

+

N iles Gammons of Urbana, Ill., apparently did some partying on Saturday night, Nov. 3, because he managed a rare DUI daily double. He was first cited for DUI at 1:08 a.m. Sunday and then, 60 minutes later, he was again cited for DUI at 1:08 a.m. (The first was during daylight saving time; the second was after the changeover.)

+

Human-rights activists have for years deplored the preferences for male offspring in India and other nations — ranging from cultures that marginalize female babies to some that practice discreet infanticide of girls. Increasingly, though, because of “advances” in science, Westerners can buy expensive in vitro fertilization procedures that use a laser to breach a fertilized embryo to determine whether it contains XY chromosome pairs (i.e., males) or larger XX ones so that only the desired-gender embryos are chosen. N oted Slate.com in September, such procedures are illegal in Canada, Australia and the United Kingdom (except for bona fide medical reasons), but legal in the United States.

+

Justin Jedlica, 32, of New York City, bills himself as the “human Ken doll” after a 10-year odyssey of cosmetic surgery (90 procedures) to achieve the “perfect” body. “I love to metamorphosize myself, and the stranger the surgery, the better,” he told ABC News in October, even though the amount of silicone in his body, say doctors (when told of Jedlica’s various implants), has reached a dangerous level. He dismisses actually “earning” the body, through gym workouts, as just “not exciting, not glamorous.” (Of course, the “perfect” body is never perfect, Jedlica acknowledged, as illustrated by his recollection of his first surgery — to get a perfect nose — which is still not done after three follow-ups. “Just got to get that nose up a few more millimeters,” he said.)

S E N D YO U R W E IRD N E W S TO WE IR DNE WS@ E A RT HL I N K . N E T OR WWW. NE WS O F T HE WE I R D. C OM

12

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.09./01.16.2013

DE

SI

the

ON

THE MUSICALLY THEMED MENU PROVIDED OLD DISHES WITH NEW NAMES

PICKLED GREEN {BY BILL O’DRISCOLL} With a bigger garden this year, come October my wife and I faced a bigger harvest of unripe tomatoes. We knew of three options.

One, put the tomatoes in a brown paper bag to ripen. This works, but a memo: Check inside the bag once in a while. Otherwise, the tomatoes shoot past red all the way to black, garnished with white fuzz. (It was a trip to the compost for these guys.)

Next up was frying. Lazily relying on vague hearsay recipes (and feeling experimental), we used a corn-meal batter that produced something edible but not especially aesthetic. Lumpy, in fact. We’ve since been told simple wheat-flouring does the trick. We’ll try again next year.

The most adventurous, and hence most satisfying, strategy was my first attempt at pickling. Yep, you can pickle most any vegetable (or in this case, fruit), not just cukes, and the method’s about the same.

Slice your green tomatoes thin, layer them with salt, and let sit overnight.

(This draws out the moisture, for crispness.) Rinse off the salt; and immerse the tomatoes in vinegar in a sealable jar, adding spices if desired. (The jar must have a nonmetallic lid, because metal reacts with the vinegar.) Then just leave the sealed jar in a cool place for three or four weeks.

How do pickled tomatoes taste?

Pretty much like pickled anything. But that’s fine by us.

DRISCOLL@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

the

FEED

Better Popcorn In the annals of convenient popcorn, between the era of Jiffy Pop and the rise of microwaveable, pre-“buttered” packets, there was the electric airpopper. Such machines still exist (for as low $20), and nothing gives you fresh, healthful popcorn so easily. No oils; add your own flavorings. No packaging to discard. And nothing beats watching the machine suddenly spew forth several cups of popcorn into a bowl.

N E W S

+

DINER OF NOTE {BY ANGELIQUE BAMBERG + JASON ROTH}

D

ESPITE THERE being no shortage

of all-American diners in Western Pennsylvania, we’re always driven to seek out more. Our restless search for the perfect diner — the one with flawlessly executed classics, a few specials just interesting enough to tempt us away from our usual habits, friendly servers and an idiosyncratic character — recently took us to Ambridge, where Janice and Robert Frantz operate Janice’s Sweet Harmony Café and Catering.

The Harmony Society’s nearby Old Economy Village provides some geographic anchorage for the name, but it is really in honor of the couple’s three children, all accomplished musicians. The harmonic theme naturally extends to the decor, a lively visual hodgepodge of actual musical instruments and sculptural and painted representations thereof, along with a wall of old 78s and their sleeves. It all adds up to plenty to look at while you wait — although, at least on our visit, that wait wasn’t long.

One of the virtues of diner dining is speed, and our brunch order came out promptly.

Although most of Harmony Café’s of-

{PHOTOS BY HEATHER MULL}

Baked ziti

ferings consist of tried-and-true diner standards, the musically themed menu provided old dishes with new names and turned the process of ordering into fodder for conversation. It was easy, for instance, to figure out that the “French Horn” was a plate of French toast, but it required more imagination —

JANICE’S SWEET HARMONY CAFÉ AND CATERING

2820 Duss Ave., Ambridge. 724-266-8099 HOURS: Mon.-Fri. 7 a.m.-2 p.m.; Sun. 8 a.m.-2 p.m.

PRICES: $4-8 LIQUOR: None

CP APPROVED and debate — to suss out why a plate of biscuits with sausage gravy should be called a “Trombone,” and the same dish with eggs and home fries a “Slide Trombone.”

Undaunted by this perplexity, and uninterested in embellishing the pure harmonics of his personal diner favorite, Jason ordered the trombone, plain and simple. The

gravy was straightforward, thick without approaching the consistency of peanut butter and generously studded with crumbles of sausage. However, the biscuits beneath the gravy demanded further discussion.

The glory of biscuits with gravy is not, in fact, the saucy sausage, but the split biscuit that the gravy garnishes. Ideally, this is a crusty baked cloud, oven-browned to light resilience on the outside and opened to expose the airy, fluffy interior, into which a bit of savory gravy might soak. In thinking that quantity over quality is the way to go with biscuits, Sweet Harmony is not alone among local diners. Thus a bowl of four undifferentiated disks of soft dough, drowned beneath a sea of gravy, failed to deliver what the dish ought to have been. So slight was the distinction between crust and interior that it wasn’t even clear whether the dish held two biscuits split or four whole. This composition fell flat.

But all was not lost on the savory side of our meal. A daily-special hot Italian skillet delivered big flavor. Home fries topped with scrambled eggs, crumbled sausage CONTINUES ON PG. 14

TA S T E

+

M U S I C

+

S C R E E N

+

A R T S

+

E V E N T S

+

C L A S S I F I E D S

13

and melted cheese played well together; the browned disks of potato and just-spicyenough sausage were copacetic, while the eggs were firm enough to hold up without losing tenderness or moistness. Jason wished only that the onions and peppers of the regular menu’s Philly skillet had made an appearance here. The vegetables could have broadened without overextending the Italian skillet’s flavors.

Those who ordered sweet brunches were happy as well. French toast did not distinguish itself through the use of any special bread (though cinnamon-raisin French toast is available), but even ordinary sandwich bread is pretty good when soaked in eggy batter, fried and dressed with maple syrup. Blueberry pancakes were excellent specimens, deep brown with plenty of juicy blueberries so that syrup seemed

Diners at the musically themed Janice’s

almost extraneous. Our kids’ silver-dollar chocolate-chip pancakes were more golden, which equaled a lighter flavor, and the chips more scarce, which kept the pancakes from sickly sweetness.

Of course, the German apple pancake isn’t merely an ordinary pancake studded with apple, but a variation on the classic recipe of apples softened in a hot skillet and then covered with a light batter that puffs up as it quickly finishes. Janice’s used ordinary pancake batter, poured thickly over apples baked with butter and brown sugar, and topped with cinnamon and a dusting of powdered sugar. The result was not as yeasty as an authentic German pancake, but its notes of caramelized sugar were indulgently pleasing, and its fluffy texture avoided the sogginess that can be this dish’s downfall.

Janice’s Sweet Harmony also offers a lunch menu of sandwiches, salads and a few hot Italian entrees. Like breakfast, lunch strikes a note of simple satisfaction, served with the warmth of a familyowned business.

INF O @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

14

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.09./01.16.2013

On the RoCKs

{BY HAL B. KLEIN}

FIRED UP

A few simple cocktails help you stay warm while staying at home

Greg DeVries executes a Blue Blazer. {PHOTO BY JUSTIN STEELE}

DINER OF NOTE, CONTINUED FROM PG. 13

Sometimes during the winter, you’ll find yourself craving a cocktail, but it’ll be too cold and snowy to trudge to the nearest watering hole. Don’t fret: If you have even a modestly stocked liquor cabinet, the solution is nearby.

“The whole idea of hot cocktails this time of year is have something to warm you up at home,” says home bartender extraordinaire Greg “Dutch” DeVries.

The simplest winter cocktail, he says, is the hot toddy: 1 shot whiskey, 1 tablespoon honey or sugar, 1 teaspoon freshly squeezed lemon juice and 2 ounces of boiling water.

That’s just the basic toddy.

“It’s fun to play around with these types of drinks at home because they call more for a well-stocked spice cabinet than for obscure liqueurs,” says William Lovas, another home-cocktail enthusiast.

An easy place to start experimenting is by pairing spirits with different sweeteners: Rye and maple syrup, Scotch and honey, and rum and molasses are all harmonious combinations.

You can look elsewhere in your pantry, too. Lovas says a combination of gin, Earl Grey tea, sugar and orange bitters is a winning twist on the classic toddy.

DeVries says you can add spark to a hot cocktail with a spicy pinch of clove, nutmeg or cinnamon.

Or literally add spark — by lighting the drink on fire.

DeVries favorite hot cocktail is the Blue Blazer. He adds whiskey and hot water to a metal mug, sets the liquid ablaze, then pours it into another mug filled with a few teaspoons of sugar and a lemon peel.

He streams the contents back and forth between mugs, creating a blue flame that stretches up to 3 feet long.

Of course, this can be risky. “The Blue Blazer is not something everyone can or should make,” he cautions.

With or without fire, though, a hot cocktail can be a soothing respite on a cold winter night. “Some people come home and have a cup of coffee or chocolate,” DeVries says. “But this warms you straight through.”

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

THE FOLLOWING DINING LISTINGS ARE RESTAURANTS RECOMMENDED BY CITY PAPER FOOD CRITICS

Marisqueira

DINING LISTINGS KEY

MEDITERRANEAN

J = Cheap K = Night Out L = Splurge E = Alcohol Served F = BYOB

nown! ope

ABAY ETHIOPIAN CUISINE. 130 S. Highland Ave., East Liberty. 412661-9736. At Pittsburgh’s original Ethiopian restaurant, the cheerful down-to-earth atmosphere creates the perfect setting for a dining experience. The vegetarian items are just as robust and richly flavored as the meat dishes. KF AJI PICANTE. 1711 Murray Ave., Squirrel Hill. 412-422-0220. There is no mistaking the Latin and Spanish themes on the menu of this Peruvian restaurant: Fried banana, guacamole, even paella are all on offer. Yet all the preparations are unique, from ceviche served with Andean fried corn kernels to a mildly Asianinfluenced steak stir-fry. Distinctly native flavors include potatoes, quinoa and white-bean cake. KF AZUL BAR Y CANTINA. 122 Broad St., Leetsdale. 724-2666362. Colorful and convivial, Azul dishes up Southern Californiastyle Mexican cooking in a festive atmosphere. The menu offers the familiar fajitas, tacos and burritos — to be washed down with margaritas — as well as quirkier fare such as crunchy sticks of jicama and fried ice cream. JE

Up Modern Kitchen {PHOTO BY HEATHER MULL} deliciously seasoned rotisserie chicken. Besides the bird, hamburgers and the occasional special (pork, ceviche), sides include such south-of-the-border staples as plantains, refried beans and fried yucca. J CURRY ON MURRAY. 2121 Murray Ave., Squirrel Hill. 412422-3120. The menu here is fairly standard Thai, featuring your favorites but also offering few surprises. So alongside satay, larb salad, pad Thai and the popular street-food noodle dish, pad see ew, look for moo dad deaw, a fried pork appetizer or a pumpkin-tofu curry. KF GREEN PEPPER. 2020 Murray Ave., Squirrel Hill 412-422-2277. At this family-run restaurant, diners will find authentic Korean recipes refreshingly not reconstituted for timid Americans — no egg rolls or Chinese-American stir-fries.

Dumplings contain kimchi, and the soup is pumpkin. Entrees include the more-familiar bulgogi (barbecued beef), as well as bibimbap, in which meat and veggies are mixed with rice. KE

{PHOTO BY HEATHER MULL}

Curry on Murray

THE BLIND PIG TAVERN. 2210 E. Carson St., South Side. 412-5865936. This South Side bar, whose name derives from Prohibition slang, offers a satisfying, pigcentric menu of pub grub. Look for the pig in pulled-pork sliders and pepperoni rolls. Or branch out with pizza, grilled cheese sandwich (add bacon!) and other popular bar fare. Wash it all down with legal beverages. JE CHICKEN LATINO. 155 21st St., Strip District. 412-246-0974. This quick-serve chicken joint serves up Peruvian-style, wood-fired and

changes frequently. But it remains divided into tropas — tropical tapas — and entrees. KE MARISQUEIRA. 225 Commercial Ave., Aspinwall. 412-696-1130.

This fine-dining restaurant offers the bold flavors and confident preparations of classic Portuguese cuisine — from thick, meaty Iberian octopus tentacles, broiled with Portuguese bleu cheese, to sausage, flambéed en route to the table. Entrees include steak in a red-wine sauce, chicken cooked with Portuguese peppers, pork with clams and, of course, fish. LE MONTEREY PUB. 1227 Monterey St., North Side. 412-322-6535.

A welcoming neighborhood bar with a menu of classic pub grub and Irish standards (such as “bangers and mash”) But there is also the occasional Asian flourish or unexpected ingredient mash-up, such as Thai red curry wings, fried green beans, an Irish-Cuban sandwich and a BLT with salmon. JE

FULL LIST ONLINE

PINO’S CONTEMPORARY ITALIAN. 6738 INDIA GARDEN. 328 Reynolds St., Point www. per pa Atwood St., Oakland.

Breeze. 412-361-1336. pghcitym o .c 412-682-3000. Some The menu at this Indian places barely last Italian eatery spans from as long as Bollywood films, sandwiches that hearken but this venue has been winning back to its pizzeria days, through awards in City Paper readers’ polls pastas of varying sophistication, to for years. How? The food holds its inventive, modern entrees. Some own, of course. But the Garden dishes pull out the stops, including also knows its college-driven seafood Newburg lasagna and market — offering ample lunch veal with artichokes, peppers, buffets, half-off dinner specials olives and wild mushrooms and late-night hours. JE over risotto. But don’t forgo the flatbread pizzas, many with KAYA. 2000 Smallman St., Strip gourmet options like prosciutto District. 412-261-6565. Kaya is a and sweet-pea pesto. KE local culinary mainstay, offering inventive Caribbean-inspired ROOT 174. 1113 S. Braddock contemporary cuisine. The menu, Ave., Regent Square. 412-243much of which is vegetarian, 4348. The foundation of the CONTINUES ON PG. 16

N E W S

+

TA S T E

+

M U S I C

+

BISTRO

ITALIAN IMPORTED WOOD-BURNING OVEN THAT PROMISES A 90 SECOND COOKING TIME

GUARANTEED FRESH INGREDIENTS.

Pittsburgh’s FINEST Portuguese Cuisine Serving Lunch and Dinner 7 Days a Week

300 LIBERTY AVE. DOWNTOWN

225 Commercial Ave. I Aspinwall For reservations call 412-696-1130 www.marisqueirabistro.com

stonepizzeria.com

aGift You for

Buy 1 Dinner Get the 2nd Dinner 1/2 off

*

OF EQUAL OR LESSER VALUE. MONDAY, TUESDAY, WEDNESDAY AND THURSDAY ONLY. *Good on all lunch and dinner menus.

Offer expires February 28, 2013.

Off Void with any other coupons, discounts or or buff buffet.

4428 LIBERTY AVE BLOOMFIELD 412-683-1448 delsrest.com

S C R E E N

+

A R T S

+

E V E N T S

+

C L A S S I F I E D S

15

DINING OUT, CONTINUED FROM PG. 15

Little

menu is also a basic formula: fresh, local and seasonal ingredients. To this, add an adventurous selection of meat products, such as bone-marrow brûlée and smoked salmon sausage. Dishes have lengthy ingredient lists, but it all comes together in satisfying and surprising ways. LF

ANGKO STR TR HE S TH N T IIN

AUTHENTIC THAI CUISINE DINE IN / TAKE OUT

BYOB ALL LUNCHES $

7-$9

THE FRESHEST LOCAL PRODUCE FROM THE STRIP Mon 11:30-3:00

Tue-Thu 11:30-9:00

Fri-Sun 11:00-9:00

1906 Penn Ave. Strip District 412-586-4107

LITTLEBANGKOK INTHESTRIP.COM

LATHET NIGOD Fd.-OSat. 1 am + We Tues. 12 am Sun.-

Beers! t f a r D 36 s for een 8 Big Sc&r Pro Games College

LARGE GROUPS?

24th & East Carson St.

“In The South Side” 412.390.1111

www.doublewidegrill.com

Empower Yourself. South Hills Power Yoga teaches Inspired Power Yoga that ignites the body and mind through the cultivation of breath and presence. Classes incorporate a wide variety of inspirational themes & occasional music that fuel the powerful current created by the asana flow. Offering both heated and non-heated classes. Accessible for all levels.

Located in Dormont 3045 West Liberty Ave. And opening this winter in Waterdam Centre - Peters Township

www.southhillspoweryoga.com 16

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.09./01.16.2013

SEWICKLEY SPEAKEASY. 17 Ohio River Blvd., Sewickley. 412741-1918. This little restaurant has the charm of a bygone era and old-fashioned food whose pleasures are worth rediscovering.

The Continental menu offers chestnuts like duck á l’orange and Virginia spots, as well as more distinctive dishes, such as tournedos dijon bleu and French Acadian porterhouse. LE THE SMILING MOOSE. 1306 E. Carson St., South Side.

412-431-4668. The Carson Street bar and nightclub now offers a top-notch sandwich and salad menu, by bringing creativity, quality preparation and a knack for well-selected ingredients to the burgers, sandwiches and appetizers.

Options include: shrimp skewers with smoked peppers, corn-andblack-bean fritters and a roster of inventive sliders. JE SOBA/UMI. 5847-9 Ellsworth Ave., Shadyside. 412-3625656/412-362-6198. Here, the local Big Burrito group offers two different menus in the same building. Soba offers pan-Asian fusion (from Korean barbeque to Thai corn chowder and Vietnamese hot-and-sour shrimp) in a minimalist yet elegant restaurant/lounge. Umi’s Japanese menu, meanwhile, focuses on sushi and teriyaki; it’s a perennial finalist in City Paper’s “Best of Pittsburgh” issue. LE A TASTE OF DAHNTAHN. 535 Liberty Ave., Downtown.

412-224-2240. Despite the jokey moniker, there’s nothing déclassé about this restaurant, which offers both a kitchsy and refined menu of American comfort food. Fried green “tuhmaytuhs” are Parmesanand panko-crusted and topped with whipped cream cheese.

Among the revamped entrees: a rich and distinctive Londonbroil meatloaf, feta-stuffed peppers and Tillamook cheddarspinach ravioli. LE UP MODERN KITCHEN. 5500 Walnut St., Shadyside. 412688-8220. This contemporary restaurant offers a sophisticated sensibility and eclectic approach to fresh, local and seasonal cuisine. The globally influenced menu ranges from “bites” to “small plates” to entrees, as well as soups, salads and sandwiches.

The variety is such that it’s hard to imagine a diner unable to find something enticing. KE

offMenu {BY AMYJO BROWN}

HEADING SOUTH

Strip taco vender opens South Hills Mexican eatery EDGAR ALVAREZ is back in the restaurant business.

A longtime fixture in the Strip District at Reyna’s Taco Shack, the cheery 53-year-old Mexico City native has opened a new place in the South Hills formerly occupied by the short-lived California Taco Shop on Route 51.

Now named Edgar’s Authentic Mexican Cuisine, there have been few cosmetic changes to the restaurant except for new area rugs that create a warmer environment. The food, however, is a different story.

{PHOTO BY AMYJO BROWN}

Edgar Alvarez, who runs Reyna’s Taco Shack in the Strip District, has opened a new restaurant.

In a city with scant options for authentic Mexican, the menu is created from family recipes, say Alvarez and his sister, Gladys Sanchez, who runs the restaurant with her two daughters, Nadia, 23, and Tania, 21.

Their mother’s recipes emphasize Mexican sauces, chiles and spices.

Alvarez and Sanchez have worked together before as owners of Taco Loco in the South Side, which lasted 10 years in four different locations before closing in 2008.

Since then, the city’s taste for Mexican food has evolved from earlier associations with places like “Taco Bell and Chi-Chi’s,” Alvarez says, adding that he also sees many more Latin American customers in the Strip. “The Spanish community is growing up in Pittsburgh,” he says.

But not quite fast enough. And that, says Sanchez, is why they decided it was time to open the new place, which expands on the dishes that Alvarez serves in the Strip.

“I’m Mexican, and I love my food, but when I go to the other [Mexican] restaurants, I can’t feel the Mexican flavor,” she says. Last year, she says she told her brother, “‘It’s time. We have to do this.’”

The new location, at 2760 Saw Mill Run Blvd., is open 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. Tuesdays through Sundays.

For now, Alvarez plans to continue running the taco shack outside Reyna’s. The Strip reminds him of Mexico City, where everyone sells their food and wares on the street. And it’s work he loves doing.

“There is one thing I say always — whatever you want to do, you have to make it with love,” he says.

A B ROW N @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

LOCAL

“I’M NOT SURE IF WE CAN DO IT ANY BETTER THAN WE DID 20 YEARS AGO!”

BEAT

{BY RORY D. WEBB}

THE ART OF HIP HOP

THE

RIGHT TIME {BY ANDY MULKERIN}

Eat your veggies: WuLords (from left: Z1, Lord Elite, D.I.G.I.)

“It’s a hard thing coming out from the hood that we’re from,” says Z1, the eldest member of WuLords. “We ain’t got no pool. They took our school from us.

There’s an ice-skating rink in Hazelwood right now and nobody got skates.”

It’s from that environment that the group of brothers — Z1 (age 18), Lord Elite (14) and D.I.G.I. (12) — rose. Despite their age, the brothers are heavily influenced by legendary ’90s group The Wu-Tang Clan.

“The thing that caught our ear about Wu-Tang is the brotherhood,” explains Lord Elite. “We are the family-based movement in Pittsburgh.”

And it’s not just a one-way street: WuLords have garnered the respect of Wu-Tang Clan’s original members. They opened for Raekwon on a tour stop in February 2012, and he spoke words of praise for them.

“When we was making our music we was saying, ‘Yo, the youngsters … if they just take the time to listen and they catch what we’re saying, it’s gonna be so great for their future,’” Raekwon said at the time. “[WuLords] know what lyrics is about, they know the history, they paid attention and they dissected. And that’s why we was like, ‘Come in, and welcome to the school.’ They earned that stripe.”

WuLords have taken Sun Tzu’s acclaimed military-strategy book, The Art of War, and implemented the tactics described within into their music; they’re currently in the midst of a 13-chapter series of album releases. Chapter 6: Illusions, Reality, Substance, Vacuity was recently released, and Chapter 7: Mortal Combat will be available soon.

“We represent kids who are from the gutter, and came from nothing,” explains Z1. “We’re giving them tools and weapons to succeed in life by having them use their mind and knowledge as a weapon to achieve their goals.”

WuLords have become a premium alternative to the more commercial sound that has put Pittsburgh’s hip-hop scene on the national radar. Don’t let their youth fool you: They manage to speak a consistent message of uplifting urban communities through raw, but real rhymes.

“You can’t survive off of Twizzlers, Skittles and a whole bunch of candy,” says D.I.G.I. “You gotta get some vegetables, and that’s what we are — the vegetables.”

For more on WuLords, see www. wulords.com.

C

ATHERINE IRWIN is, along with Janet Bean, one of the singers and songwriters of the critically acclaimed, somewhat elusive alt-country band Freakwater. While the band hasn’t released new material since 2005 — Irwin and Bean both have worked more as solo artists in recent years — it comes to Pittsburgh on Thu., Jan. 17, as part of a Northeast tour. Irwin spoke with CP from her Louisville, Ky., home.

IT’S BEEN OVER SEVEN YEARS SINCE YOUR LAST RELEASE AS A BAND — WHY GO ON THE ROAD NOW? I’m not really sure! It was Janet’s idea. I think next year actually is the 20th anniversary of our record, Feels Like the Third Time, but I think there was some confusion that it was this year. This year was the anniversary of our joining [Thrill Jockey Records], I think. But the idea originally was that we could play that record live … why we have to do it In it for the cable TV: Freakwater’s Janet Bean (left) and Catherin Irwin in January, I’m not sure, but that’s something we’ve traditionally always done.

We’ve never been to Buffalo when it Nobody’s really running the machine. Freakwater when we’ve lived in the wasn’t January.

It’s easier, since we don’t live in the same town. same city, to work on solo stuff; it’s YOU’RE COMING OFF OF A NEW been a rare moment in the history of DO YOU GET RUSTY WHEN YOU’RE NOT SOLO RELEASE; HOW DO YOU APPROACH PLAYING TOGETHER FOR YEARS AT A FREAKWATER WHEN YOU BOTH HAVE TIME, OR DOES IT FEEL NATURAL WHEN FREAKWATER SOLO CAREERS AS WELL? YOU GET BACK TOGETHER? WITH PAIRDOWN We’re always planning on making a I think it’s always about the same. We’re 7 p.m. Thu., Jan. 17. Club Café, Freakwater record; we just haven’t playing all the songs off Feels Like the th 56 S. 12 St., South Side. $12. 412-431-4950 done it. We’re just very … disorganized.

Third Time, and so I had to go back and or www.clubcafelive.com

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

N E W S

+

CONTINUES ON PG. 18

TA S T E

+

M U S I C

+

S C R E E N

+

A R T S

+

E V E N T S

+

C L A S S I F I E D S

17

THE RIGHT TIME, CONTINUED FROM PG. 17

listen to it. Some of those songs, we never really played live. I don’t know if we’ve really gotten any better! It’s kind of … cute? I’m not sure if we can do it any better than we did 20 years ago!

The City’s Hottest Live Music Scene!

HAS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THE SONGS CHANGED? DO YOU STILL CONNECT WITH THEM? It’s all still pretty painful. That’s one of the things that’s funny, to be so old; a lot of the songs that I wrote 20 years ago, I didn’t even have any idea what that song was about at the time. And now it’s about something completely different, and it’s even worse.

You know? I thought that song was really sad when I wrote it, and now it’s even more sad. I think one thing about Freakwater, and about me, personally, is that there’s not real stylistic leaping around much; it’s always been basically the same kind of thing. Certainly there are songs about boyfriends — about how much I hated a certain person, and now I don’t hate that person as much anymore. So that song may be slightly dulled … but I can just transfer that hatred onto somebody else.

HOW MUCH OF YOUR LYRIC-WRITING IS ACTUALLY PERSONAL AS OPPOSED TO WRITING FROM A THIRD-PERSON PERSPECTIVE? I don’t think that we do [third-person writing] at all. I think that all of Janet’s songs are all about Janet, and all of my songs are all about me, basically.

WHAT DO THE TWO OF YOU DO, RESPECTIVELY, WHEN YOU’RE NOT MAKING A RECORD OR TOURING? I’VE HEARD YOU DO VISUAL ART. Yeah, I do some of that. And I do regular house-painting. I think Janet’s making shoes right now. I think Janet’s a cobbler.

Visit jergels.com/calendar for a complete list of shows & to buy tickets!

UP Wed 1.16 WAR // 8 pm

PCOMING S HOW S

Thu 1.17 GIN BLOSSOMS // 8 pm Fri 1.18 GATHERING FIELD // 9 pm Tue 1.22 THE ENGLISH BEAT // 8 pm Thu 1.24 WHO’S BAD, the Ultimate Michael Jackson Tribute Band // 8 pm Sat 2.23 JERGEL’S 1-YEAR ANNIVERSARY PARTY featuring THE CLARKS // 9 pm

103 Slade Lane, Warrendale, PA 15086

WHETHER THAT’S ACTUALLY TRUE, OR YOU JUST MADE THAT UP ON THE SPOT, THAT’S PRETTY GREAT. No, no — that’s literally true! She’s making wooden shoes! She’s making super-stylish wooden shoes for, like, women in Japan.

YOU’VE BEEN TOURING FOR OVER 20 YEARS NOW — WHAT KEEPS YOU GOING? The thing that keeps you doing it is just playing the shows. I get really nervous, which is part of the reason we don’t play that much, but once you start playing, it’s fun. And I know [bassist Dave Gay] does it for the free Coca-Cola. Just to be in the room with a guy with a gun that shoots Coca-Cola every night. Janet used to do it for the hotel rooms with cable TV; now she has cable at home, so I’m not sure what it is now.

AMU L K E R IN@PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

18

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.09./01.16.2013

NEW RELEASES

WESTERN PENNSYLVANIA BORN AGAIN BLUES (SELF-RELEASED)

The cover of Born Again Blues — two shadowy, blurry figures, one in a cowboy hat, the other in a white shirt and tie — gives a sense of how this strange little record sounds: mysterious, dream-like and anonymous … though anonymity doesn’t seem to be a goal of songwriters Jeff Betten and Joseph Ripple. It took two listens to find the buried vocals, three to hear any instrument besides bare-bones folk guitar and banjo. It may be a few more listens before song structures begin to rise from this aural landscape, but I feel confident they will.

BY MARGARET WELSH

WESTERN PENNSYLVANIA with POLAR SCOUT, ADAM LEVINE. 9 p.m. Sat., Jan. 12.

Howlers Coyote Café, 4509 Liberty Ave., Bloomfield. $5. 412-682-0320 THE RED WESTERN THERE’S A FIRE (SELF-RELEASED)

The local five-piece’s second release is a six-song EP, anticipating the spring release of a split LP with Grand Piano.

While 2011’s debut was country-flavored, here we find The Red Western turning a bit more toward Sundays-style jangly pop; there are country moments (especially the record-closer, “Boatman’s Lament”), but they’re tempered. The result is a genuine feel that says The Red Western is settling into its identity as a band. Recommended.

BY ANDY MULKERIN

JUPITER VINYL LAZY ASH TREE (SELF-RELEASED)

Ten cute folk-y songs from the local duo of Corinne Bohjanen and Edward Horey. Nice songs, performed well and easy on the ears. A guitar-and-bass duo can be a shaky proposition, but these two pull it off well. On CD now, but they’re also planning a vinyl version — with a name like that, how could they not?

BY ANDY MULKERIN

N E W S

+

TA S T E

+

M U S I C

+

S C R E E N

+

A R T S

+

E V E N T S

+

C L A S S I F I E D S

19

MYSTERIOUS MR. MANGUM FRI, JAN 11• 9PM POWER FUNK OUT OF BROOKLYN, NY

BEFORE SUPERCHUNK hit the stage of

TURKUAZ

blogh.pghcitypaper.com

SAT, JAN 12 • 9:30PM EXPERIMENTAL / HIP HOP

GRAND BUFFET REUNION SHOW PLUS

THIN SKETCH

Work yourself into a lather.

Rinse. Repeat.

AND LORD GRUNGE SUN, JAN 13• 8PM ROCK

MICHAEL GABLICKI BAND (FRONTMAN OF RUSTED ROOT) MON, JAN 14 • 9:30PM

OPEN STAGE WITH CRAIG KING TUE, JAN 15 • 9PM JAZZ SPACE EXCHANGE SERIES WITH

ERIC LAWRENCE (SAX FROM LEVON HELM BAND) OPEN FOR LUNCH Kitchen hours: M-Th: 11am-12am Fri & Sat: 11am-1am Sun: 11am-11pm

4023 BU TLER ST LAWREN CEVILLE 412.682.017

{BY MIKE SHANLEY}

7

www.thunderbirdcafe.net

Graffiti Showcase in February 1998, a rag-tag group of musicians came and went from the stage, all based around a guy strumming a big hollow-body guitar.

The instrumentation included a singing saw, accordion, trumpet and occasionally a drum kit, which took the folky music in a more rock direction. This was Neutral Milk Hotel, which released its sophomore album, In the Aeroplane Over the Sea, that month on Merge, Superchunk’s label.

Unlike the power-chord-heavy indie rock that made up the bulk of the label (which then included Pittsburgh’s Karl Hendricks), Neutral Milk Hotel’s music came from some other world where folk music and lo-fi experimentation combined with a warped lyrical perspective.

The result was hard to pin down, but fascinating nonetheless. If the musical shift wasn’t exactly felt that night at Graffiti, it was clear these guys were charting some new path without inhibition.

Aeroplane went on to become something of an underground classic, compounded by the fact that Jeff Mangum — Neutral Milk Hotel’s guitar-playing frontman — dropped out of music for all intents and purposes following its release.

Fast-forward to October 2008. Brillobox hosted the Elephant 6 Holiday Surprise Tour, with members of bands on that label-slash-collective (Elf Power, Olivia Tremor Control) taking turns playing each other’s songs.

Some participants mentioned that Mangum expressed interest in joining the show somewhere along the way.

{PHOTO COURTESY OF CORY GREENWELL}

One-headed boy: Jeff Mangum

just strolled on upstairs.”

While legend might have turned Mangum into something of a fragile Syd Barrett-esque artist, Hlavach remembers Mangum as quiet and down-to-earth, practicing in the bathroom before the show. The next morning, the two talked about the reaction to the two songs Mangum performed. “He was floored by the response and was very humble,” Hlavach says. “And he said, ‘I think I might start doing this again.’ I told him, ‘People would love that. Honestly, Jeff. That atmosphere was great last night. And if that’s any indication of what the response would be for you, that’s what you should do.’”

While he has begun performing again, mystery still surrounds Mangum.

He doesn’t do interviews. Photography and recording devices are not permitted when he performs, not even by the press.

(A dark, sideways video of the Brillobox show can be found on YouTube, however.) But a November 2011 NPR story on a Mangum solo performance indicates that he has become fully recharged, even engaging the audience and encouraging sing-alongs with Aeroplane songs like “The King of Carrot Flowers.”

During a Baltimore performance, NPR reported, an audience member called out, “We missed you.” Mangum, perhaps not wanting to dwell on the past, replied, “Well, we’re together now, right?” All things considered, it seemed to be the appropriate response.

HE DOESN’T DO INTERVIEWS. PHOTOGRAPHY IS NOT PERMITTED WHEN HE PERFORMS.

JEFF MANGUM

WITH TALL FIRS, BRIARS OF NORTH AMERICA

8 p.m. Thu., Jan. 10. Carnegie Music Hall, 4400 Forbes Ave., Oakland. $25-30. All ages.

412-237-8300 or www.warhol.org

“There were some rumors that he had played a show the night before [Pittsburgh] but no one could confirm that at the time,” says Brad Hlavach, who booked the show for Opus One Productions. “Shortly after everyone loaded in and did soundcheck, Jeff showed up in his car. It was very low-key. He

I N F O@ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

20

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.09./01.16.2013

CRITICS’ PICKS

The Palace Theatre Coming Attractions

PalacePA

the Amazing

Grand Buffet

KRESKIN

For more than 50 years Kreskin has been telling people things about themselves that only they or a close friend could possibly know. Dormant spirits reawaken with ghostly sightings!

Saturday, January 19 8PM Orchestra $30, $22 Sorry, no children under 10 at this event!

Time was when Grand Buffet was the largest purveyor of earworms in Pittsburgh: Who didn’t spend most of 2005 with that “Oh, oh-oh-ohoh-oh, oh my god you’re weird!� hook stuck in his or her head? In recent years, the duo has been largely working separately, Grape-a-Don performing under the name Mrs. Paintbrush, and Lord Grunge playing solo and with supergroup Shark Tank. Tonight, they play a rare local reunion show at Thunderbird to benefit the staging of Grunge’s play Pittsburgh Batman; don’t miss this one. Andy Mulkerin 9 p.m.

4023 Butler St., Lawrenceville. $10. 421-6820177 or www.thunderbirdcafe.net

[LOCAL] + SAT., JAN. 12

Speaking in strict meteorological terms, the solstice is past now, but Touchfaster’s Winter Solstice music and art event ent is happening tonight. The seasonal get-together -together moves to the Rex Theater this time around, and features music from Jazzam, The Fleeting Ends, Ends ds,, Chris Vipond and the Stanley and nley St. Band, a nd Gypsy and His Band of Ghosts.

There’ll be hosts. There’l e’lll b ea full complement of art from artom local ar rtists — much of it static, but ut some of it created on site — as well.

Might as well turn out forr this one; the next time it comes es around, you’ll be wearing g flip-flops and complaining g that your air conditioner isn’t working right. AM 8 p.m..

1602 E. Carson St., South Side. $10. 412-381-6811 orr www.touchfaster.com

with 2005’s One Way Ticket to Hell ‌ and Back. Hawkins’ love for rock-star excess proved more than a feeling; he left the band and entered rehab. Reuniting in 2011, The Darkness is in fine falsetto form with Hot Cakes, packed with over-the-top anthems like “Everybody Have a Good Time.â€? Opening tonight’s all-ages show at Stage AE is Hell or Highwater. Aaron Jentzen 7 p.m. 400 North Shore Drive, North Side. $23-25. All ages. 412-229-5483 or www.stageae.com

GET THE LED OUT

The American Led Zeppelin Studio recordings of "the mighty Zep" come to life on stage by professional musicians who are fans first, striving to do justice to one of rock history's greatest bands!

[DJ] + WED., JAN. 16

Red Bull Thre3Style is a DJ battle with some weight behind it: Some of the biggest names in DJ culture are judges, and the winner of the world finals in Toronto next December gets some handy career-boosting perks. But the first step toward getting there is tonight, at the preliminaryy q qualifier here in Pittsburgh. g Local DJs including DJ Midas, Pete Butta and DJJ Petey C will compete to see who rocks the crowd best; owd wd be est; t; judges include DJ Bonics. AM M 9 p.m. Altar Bar, r 1620 Penn Ave., Strip District. $5. 412-206-9719 or www.thealtarbar.com

Saturday, January 26 8PM Orchestra $30, $26 Loge $30; Balcony $22

Gaelic J

With their signature acoustic production, Gaelic Storm blends indie-folk and world grooves with Celtic tradition.

Their latest album Chicken Boxer will knock you out!

The Darkness

[HIP HOP] + SAT., JAN. 12

Sunday, March 3 7PM

[ROCK] + MON., JAN.. 14

N E W S

Orchestra $26, $22 Loge $26; Balcony $18

The Palace Theatre, Greensburg

{PHOTO COURTESY OF SCARLET PAGE}

Back in the Kill Rock Stars-y -y days of 2003, The Darkness, ss, led by born-too-late rock god Justin Hawkins, reminded us to believe: in a thing called d love; in guitarmony; in Queen, Zep, Boston and Def Leppard. After the smash Permission to Land, the British band faltered

+

724-836-8000 • www.ThePalaceTheatre.org FREE PARKING FOR EVENING & WEEKEND SHOWS TA S T E

+

M U S I C

+

S C R E E N

+

A R T S

+

E V E N T S

+

C L A S S I F I E D S

21

TO SUBMIT A LISTING: HTTP://HAPPENINGS.PGHCITYPAPER.COM

412.316.3388 (FAX) + 412.316.3342 X194 (PHONE)

{ALL LISTINGS MUST BE SUBMITTED BY 9 A.M. FRIDAY PRIOR TO PUBLICATION}

Tune in, log on, hear the music that matters to you. wyep.org

ROCK/POP THU 10

CARNEGIE MUSIC HALL. Jeff Mangum, Tall Firs, Briars of North America. Warhol Sound Series. Oakland. 412-237-8300.

CIOPPINO SEAFOOD CHOPHOUSE BAR. Terrance Vaughn Trio. Strip District.

412-281-6593.

CLUB CAFE. Paul Jay, Songs For Voice & Piano, Zombie Bait, Gary Smith. South Side.

412-431-4950.

HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. Ray Lanich, Sarah Fina. Bloomfield.

412-682-0320.

LAVA LOUNGE. Misfit Cowboys, DEVIL, Anthony Jardine. South Side. 412-431-5282.

SMILING MOOSE. Fireworks, Mace Ballard, Shirts Vs. Skins, The Countdown. South Side.

412-431-4668.

FRI 11

10:00PMÐ12:00AM ¥ NO COVER 1/11 1/18

BILL YOUNG

CLASSIC ROCK & ALTERNATIVE

THE MOTZ PROJECT

ACOUSTIC COVERS

ANGELS BLUE BAND

2/8

MIKE MEDVED

MO NELSON BAND

2/15

ZOMBIE BAIT

2/22

CALLAN

ROCK & BLUES

1\25

2/1

COUNTRY/AMERICANA/ CLASSIC ROCK

ACOUSTIC COVERS

FOLK/ROCK/GRUNGE

IRISH ROCK

ONLY AT OUR CRANBERRY LOCATION 22

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.09./01.16.2013

31ST STREET PUB. Troll Kicker, Chanel Scorpion News. Benefit for Custody War Chest. Strip District.

412-391-8334.

CLUB CAFE. The Nied’s Hotel Band, Slim Forsythe (Early) Old E Allstars. South Side.

412-431-4950.

HAMBONE’S. The Mavens.

Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318.

HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. Secret Tombs, Lampshades, The Lopes.

Bloomfield. 412-682-0320.

KENDREW’S. Lucky Me. Aliquippa. 724-375-5959.

SMILING MOOSE. Poolside EyeCandy, Cabaret Runaway, Cynimatics Bunny Five Coat, The Gary Abuseys, Mega Wolf. South Side. 724-681-4364.

STAGE AE. G. Love & Special Sauce, Swear & Shake.

North Side.

SAT 12

CLUB CAFE. Brad Wagner & the Bar Flys (Early) There There, Berlin Way (Late). South Side.

412-431-4950.

THE FALLOUT SHELTER. The Awful Waffles, Trestle Jumper, Astro-Kinetic. Aliquippa.

724-375-5080.

HAMBONE’S. The Committee for Getting Attention, Bryan McQuaid, Ryan Williams.

Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318.

HARVEY WILNER’S. Black Dog Hollow. West Mifflin.

412-466-1331.

HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. Polar Scout, Western Pennsylvania, “The Other” Adam Levine. Bloomfield.

412-682-0320.

JOEY D’S. Badd Newz.

Harmarville. 412-828-0999.

KEYSTONE BAR. Bo’hog Brothers.

Ellwood City. 724-758-4217.

MARS BREW HOUSE. Ray Lanich.

Mars. 724-625-2555.

MR. SMALLS THEATER. Drowning Clowns, Liz Berlin, Smear, Hey Compadre!, more.

2013 Revival Series. Millvale.

412-821-4447.

OAKMONT TAVERN. Lucky Me. Oakmont. 412-828-4155.

REX THEATER. Jazzam, The Fleeting Ends, Chris Vipond & the Stanley St. Band, Gypsy & his Band of Ghosts. Touchfaster’s Winter Solstice Showcase. South Side.

412-381-6811.

RODNEY’S LOUNGE. Aces Full.

Irwin. 724-864-3222.

ROOSTERS ROADHOUSE. The Eldorado Kings. Bridgeville.

412-221-1543.

RPM’S. Zero Fame. Bridgeville.

412-221-7808.

SMILING MOOSE. Far From Sunday, 412unes, EMPTE’.

Make-A-Wish Benefit.(early) Act

of Pardon, The Williams Band, Rule of Two. (late) South Side.

412-431-4668.

ST. JAMES PLACE TAVERN. Charlie Hustle, The Grifters, North Town Station. South Side.

412-431-3222.

SYGAN SNPJ. The GRID. Bridgeville. 412-257-4007.

THUNDERBIRD CAFE. Grand Buffet, Thin Sketch. Lawrenceville.

412-682-0177.

SUN 13

HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. Crunk Witch, The Rapture, Bit Mummy & The Show. Bloomfield.

412-682-0320.

MR. SMALLS THEATER. Emilie Autumn. Millvale.

866-468-3401.

THUNDERBIRD CAFE. Micheal Gablicki. Lawrenceville.

412-682-0177.

MON 14

STAGE AE. The Darkness.

North Side.

LOCAL TWEETS

Recent dispatches from the music Twittersphere @HughShows (Hugh Twyman)

How bad is it that I was listening to the bands Ride and Slowdive at the same time and didn’t realize it until 5 minutes in?

@alispagnola (Ali Spagnola)

Made two 1-hour calls while looking at my tablet and using my iPhone’s apps.

Also the TV is on. I don’t know where my first tumor will be. @maceballard (Mace Ballard)

Like our brothers in @anti_flag say: Drop pucks, not bombs. #letsgopens

TUE 15

BRILLOBOX. Bear In Heaven, Snowmine. Bloomfield.

412-621-4900.

WED 16

ARSENAL BOWLING LANES. Xtremely Loaded. Lawrenceville.

412-683-5993.

BRILLOBOX. Magic Trick, Action Camp, Falling Andes. Bloomfield.

412-621-4900.

CLUB CAFE. Hollis Brown, Walker & the Rebellion, The Brushfire. South Side.

412-431-4950.

ROCK BOTTOM. Good Brother Earl. Waterfront. 412-462-2739.

DJS THU 10

BELVEDERE’S. Neon w/ DJ hatesyou. 80s Night. Lawrenceville.

412-687-2555.

CLUB TABOO. DJ Matt & Gangsta Shak. Homewood.

412-969-0260.

ECLIPSE LOUNGE. Throwdown Thursdays w/ Tracksploitation.

Lawrenceville. 412-251-0097.

INN-TERMISSION LOUNGE. Transmission: Classic Alternative Dance Party. South Side.

412-381-3497.

FRI 11

BACKSTAGE BAR AT THEATRE SQUARE. Salsa Fridays. DJ Jeff

Shirey, DJ Carlton, DJ Paul Mitchell.

Downtown. 412-456-6666.

CABARET AT THEATER SQUARE. Salsa Friday. Downtown.

412-325-6769.

ECLIPSE LOUNGE. House Music w/ Hana. Lawrenceville.

412-251-0097.

ONE 10 LOUNGE. DJ Goodnight, DJ Rojo. Downtown.

412-874-4582.

REMEDY. Chocolate Boombox. w/ Newtronn. Lawrenceville.

412-781-6771.

ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance.

South Side. 412-431-2825.

RUGGER’S PUB. 80s Night w/ DJ Connor. South Side.

412-381-1330.

THE NEW AMSTERDAM. Billy Pilgrim. Lawrenceville.

412-904-2915.

ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance.

South Side. 412-431-2825.

S BAR. Pete Butta. South Side.

412-481-7227.

SAT 12

TUE 15

1139 PENN AVE. Hot Mass.

Late Night Dancing. Disco, House, Techno. 21+ BYOB. 2am-8am Sunday morning.

Downtown.

BRILLOBOX. Title Town Soul & Funk Party. Rare Soul, Funk & wild R&B 45s feat. DJ Gordy G. & guests.

Bloomfield. 412-621-4900.

CAPRI PIZZA AND BAR. Saturday Night Meltdown. Top 40, Hip Hop, Club, R&B, Funk & Soul.

East Liberty. 412-362-1250.

DIESEL. DJ CK. South Side.

412-431-8800.

ECLIPSE LOUNGE. Do Sum’n Saturday Reggae w/ Dan Dabber.

Lawrenceville. 412-251-0097.

SUN 13

HIP HOP/R&B THU 10

SHADOW LOUNGE. Dessa.

East Liberty. 412-363-8277.

BLUES FRI 11

RIVERS CASINO. DJs Bill Bara JAMES STREET & Digital Dave. North Side.

GASTROPUB & 412-231-7777.

SPEAKEASY. SMILING MOOSE. Sweaty Betty.

The Upstage Nation.

North Side.

DJ EzLou & N8theSk8. www. per 412-904-3335. pa Electro, post punk, pghcitym OBEY HOUSE. The .co industrial, new wave, Blues Bombers w/ alternative dance. South Pat Scanga. Crafton.

Side. 412-431-4668.

412-922-3883.

FULL LIST ONLINE

SAT 12

ECLIPSE LOUNGE. Groove Tuesdays. Djs provided by 720 Music. Lawrenceville.

412-251-0097.

WED 16

AVA BAR & LOUNGE. DJ Outtareach. East Liberty.

412-363-8277.

BLOOMFIELD BRIDGE TAVERN. Fuzz! Drum & bass weekly.

Bloomfield. 412-682-8611.

SAVOY RESTAURANT. Latin Savoy Night. Strip District.

412-281-0660.

SPOON. Spoon Fed. Hump day chill. House music. aDesusParty.

East Liberty. 412-362-6001.

THE BLIND PIG SALOON. Ron & The Rumpshakers. New Kensington. 724-337-7008.

DOWNEY’S HOUSE. Billy Price & The Lost Minds. Robinson.

412-489-5631.

FRANK’S PUB & GRILL. Sweaty Betty Sweaty Betty. Bethel Park.

412-833-4606.

INN-TERMISSION LOUNGE. The Rhythm Aces. South Side.

THE R BAR. Mani Stokes.

Dormont. 412-445-5279.

WED 16

CAFE NOTTE. Billy Heid.

Emsworth. 412-761-2233.

CONTINUES ON PG. 24

Teen Workshop: Think Like a Hacker with Cory Arcangel Saturday, January 26, 10:30 a.m.–2:30 p.m. $15 ($12 members); Call 412.622.3288 to register Participate in a conversation with artist Cory Arcangel, who brings a hacker sensibility to art by reconfiguring popular music, videos, and games. Then join CMA's teaching artists for a hands-on workshop and start thinking like a hacker as you repurpose popular media and tangible objects.

All skill-levels and abilities welcome. This is a low-tech workshop, no prior knowledge of computer programming necessary. All materials provided. Half-hour on-own lunch break.

N E W S

+

TA S T E

+

Cory Arcangel: Masters

tues–sat: 10–5 | thurs: 10–8 | sun: noon–5 shop the museum stores for creative gifts cmoa.org | 412.622.3131

November 3, 2012–January 27, 2013

one of the four carnegie museums of pittsburgh

M U S I C

+

S C R E E N

+

A R T S

+

E V E N T S

+

C L A S S I F I E D S

23

CONCERTS, CONTINUED FROM PG. 23

EARLY WARNINGS

JAZZ THU 10

ANDYS. Sean Jones, Alton Merrill & Jeff Geubbs. Downtown.

412-773-8884.

CJ’S. Rodger Humphries & The RH Factor. Strip District. 412-642-2377.

LITTLE E’S. Jessica Lee & Friends.

Entrepreneurial Thursdays.

Downtown. 412-392-2217.

PAPA J’S RISTORANTE. Jimmy Z & Friends. Carnegie. 412-429-7272.

Matisyahu

FRI 11

ANDYS. Tania Grubbs. Downtown.

412-773-8884.

LITTLE E’S. The Phoenix Jazz Project. Downtown. 412-392-2217.

OMNI WILLIAM PENN. Frank Cunimondo & Pat Crossley.

Downtown. 412-553-5235.

{SUN., FEB. 10}

Matisyahu

SAT 12

ANDYS. Dane Vannatter.

Downtown. 412-773-8884.

CIOPPINO SEAFOOD CHOPHOUSE BAR. Moorehouse Jazz. Strip District. 412-281-6593.

CJ’S. The Tony Campbell Saturday Jazz Jam Session. Strip District.

412-642-2377.

LITTLE E’S. Velvet Heat.

Downtown. 412-392-2217.

THE SPACE UPSTAIRS. Second Saturdays. Jazz-happening series feat. live music, multimedia experimentations, more. Hosted

by The Pillow Project. Point Breeze.

412-225-9269.

THE TWISTED THISTLE. Erin Burkett & Virgil Walters.

Leechburg. 724-236-0450.

SUN 13

ELWOOD’S PUB. Jeff Pogas.

Cheswick. 724-265-1181.

EMMANUEL EPISCOPAL CHURCH. Jazz at Emmanuel.

North Side. 412-231-0454.

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Spanky Wilson.

North Side. 412-904-3335.

Carnegie Library Music Hall of Homestead, 510 E. 10th St., Munhall {SAT., MARCH 23}

Paleface

Thunderbird Café, 4023 Butler St., Lawrenceville {SAT., APRIL 27}

Tech N9Ne

Stage AE, 400 North Shore Drive, North Side

FRI 11

DAYS INN BUTLER CONFERENCE CENTER. January Ice Jam Bluegrass Festival. 32 bands performing, donations will be accepted for various charities. Butler.

724-484-0805

SAT 12

DAYS INN BUTLER CONFERENCE CENTER. January Ice Jam Bluegrass Festival. 32 bands performing, donations will be accepted for various charities.

ANDYS. Mark Butler. 724-484-0805.

Lucas. Downtown.

FIRST UNITARIAN 412-773-8884. www. per CHURCH. Ellen Gozion, a p ty THUNDERBIRD CAFE. pghci m AppalAsia. Shadyside. o .c Space Exchange Series 412-621-8008. w/ Eric Lawrence.

MARS BREW HOUSE. Ray Lawrenceville. 412-682-0177.

Lanich. Mars. 724-625-2555.

OLIVE OR TWIST. The Vagrants.

Downtown. 412-255-0525.

ANDYS. Lilly Abreu & Sambaketu. Downtown.

412-773-8884.

HAMBONE’S. Monday Night DANTE’S RESTAURANT & Whiskey Rebellion Bluegrass Jam. LOUNGE. Jerry & Lou Lucarelli.

Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318.

Brentwood. 412-884-4600.

TUE 15

FULL LIST ONLINE

WED 16

MON 14

ACOUSTIC THU 10

BILLY’S ROADHOUSE BAR & GRILL. Mark Pipas. Wexford.

724-934-1177.

DOWNEY’S HOUSE. Jay Wiley. Robinson.

412-489-5631.

MULLIGAN’S SPORTS BAR & GRILLE. Acoustic Night.

West Mifflin. 412-461-8000.

24

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.09./01.16.2013

TUE 15

BOCKTOWN BEER & GRILL. Singer Songwriter Night. North Fayette. 412-788-2333.

WED 16

ALLEGHENY ELKS LODGE #339.

Pittsburgh Banjo Club. Weds.

North Side. 412-321-1834.

HAMBONE’S. Jenny Morgan & Alex Culbreth. Lawrenceville.

412-681-4318.

PARK HOUSE. Dodgy Mountain

Boys & the Park House Jammers.

North Side. 412-596-2743.

COUNTRY SAT 12

NIED’S HOTEL. Slim Forsythe & Friends. Slim’s birthday bash.

Lawrenceville. 412-781-9853.

CLASSICAL FRI 11

PITTSBURGH SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA. Dvorak’s Seventh feat. Gianandrea Noseda, conductor & Enrico Dindo, cello. Heinz Hall, Downtown.

412-392-4900.

SAT 12

FOUR NATIONS. Pittsburgh Renaissance & Baroque. Synod Hall, Oakland. 412-361-2048.

SUN 13

DUQUESNE UNIVERSITY STUDENTS. Organ recital. Heinz Chapel, Oakland. 412-624-4157.

PITTSBURGH SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA. Dvorak’s Seventh feat. Gianandrea Noseda, conductor & Enrico Dindo, cello. Heinz Hall, Downtown.

412-392-4900.

OTHER MUSIC MON 14

HAMBONE’S. Cabaret. Jazz standards & showtunes sing-a-long.

Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318.

PAID ADVERTORIAL SPONSORED BY

What to do

IN PITTSBURGH

January 9 - 15 WEDNESDAY 9

show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 8p.m.

JERGELS RHYTHM GRILLE Warrendale. 724-799-8333.

No cover. For more info visit jergels.com. 8p.m.

Outcried Dilemma / That Transition / Gypsy Grin

Mercury

THURSDAY 10 Dessa

SHADOW LOUNGE East Liberty. 412-363-8277. With special guests Amuck & more.

All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly. com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 8p.m.

SOUND SERIES: Jeff Mangum CARNEGIE LECTURE HALL Oakland. With special guests Tall Firs & Briars of North America. Tickets: warhol.org.

8p.m.

FRIDAY 11

The Classic Rock Experience: Midnight Special ALTAR BAR Strip District.

412-263-2877. Over 21

newbalancepittsburgh.com

YO GABBA GABBA! LIVE!

Michael Glabicki

FRIDAY, JANUARY 11 BENEDUM CENTER

THUNDERBIRD CAFE Lawrenceville. 412-682-0177.

Over 21 show. Tickets: greyareaprod.com. 8p.m.

MONDAY 14

MR. SMALLS THEATRE Millvale. 412-821-4447.

All ages show. Tickets: 866468-3401 or ticketweb.com/ opusone. 7p.m.

The Darkness

STAGE AE North Side.

With special guest Hell or Highwater.

All ages show. Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 1-800-745-3000.

Doors open at 7p.m.

Up Close and Personal with the Old E Allstars CLUB CAFE South Side.

412-431-4950. Over 21 show. Tickets: 866-468-3401 or ticketweb.com/opusone.

10:30p.m.

TUESDAY 15 Les Misérables

G Love & Special Sauce

Turkuaz

STAGE AE North Side.

With special guest Swear and Shake. All ages show. Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 1-800745-3000. Doors open at 8p.m.

THUNDERBIRD CAFE Lawrenceville. 412-682-0177.

Over 21 show. Tickets: greyareaprod.com. 9p.m.

Yo Gabba Gabba! Live!

SATURDAY 12

BENEDUM CENTER Downtown. 412-456-6666.

Tickets: trustarts.org.

3:30p.m. & 6:30p.m.

$7 cover. For more info visit jergels.com. 9p.m.

Lewis Black: The Rant is Due

SUNDAY 13

Pilobolus

MR. SMALLS THEATRE Millvale. 412-821-4447.

All ages show. Tickets: 866468-3401 or ticketweb.com/ opusone. 8p.m.

Fathertime

CLUB CAFE South Side.

412-431-4950. Over 21 show.

BENEDUM CENTER Downtown. 412-456-6666.

Tickets: trustarts.org.

Through Jan. 27.

An Evening with Emilie Autumn

HEINZ HALL Downtown.

412-392-4900. Tickets: livenation.com. 8p.m.

Brad Wagner and the Bar Flys

Stay Dry

Tickets: 866-468-3401 or ticketweb.com/opusone. 7p.m.

JERGELS RHYTHM GRILLE Warrendale. 724-799-8333.

WVU CREATIVE ARTS CENTER WV. Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 800-745-3000.

For more info visit events.wvu.edu. 7:30p.m.

WITH A SHOE THAT IS WATERPROOF USING GORE-TEX ® WEXFORD

10616 PERRY HWY

RAIN OR SHINE, WE’VE GOT YOU COVERED

724-940-2400

WATERFRONT

112 W. BRIDGE ST 412-464-1002 956GT

956GT

989GT

989GT

Womens

Mens

Womens

Mens

OAKLAND

978GT*

3810 FORBES AVE

Mens

412-697-1333 FREE PARKING in OAKLAND! Underground Garage Sennott Square • Corner of Forbes and S. Bouquet

*Mens sizes on hand, womens available for special order*

PITTSBU RG H’S L ARG EST SELECTI O N O F N EW BAL AN CE SH O ES I N SIZES AN D WI DTHS N E W S

+

TA S T E

+

M U S I C

+

NEWBALANCEPITTSBURGH.COM S C R E E N

+

A R T S

+

FACEBOOK.COM/NEWBALANCEPGH E V E N T S

+

C L A S S I F I E D S

25

PAST IMPERFECT {BY AL HOFF}

THERE’S A LOT OF EMPTY SPACE FOR FILMGOERS TO FILL IN THEIR OWN REACTIONS TO THIS HISTORY

Occasionally, a film comes along that I want to like, but I just can’t separate the work’s goodness from the dross it’s wrapped in. Any Day Now, a period melodrama (with musical numbers) about two gay men trying to adopt a teen-age boy with Down syndrome, is such a film.

Travis Fine’s film takes place in 1979 Los Angeles, where a penniless drag queen named Rudy (Alan Cumming) has two fortuitous meetings: a just-out lawyer named Paul (Garret Dillahunt) and his teen-age neighbor, Marco (Isaac Leyva).

Rudy, Paul and Marco (whose mom is jailed) set up housekeeping — and life progresses grandly. (We know this because we see the Super 8 montage of fun family times.) But when Marco’s mom gets out of jail, the two men must go to the courts to remain Marco’s guardians.

Family time: Garret Dillahunt, Isaac Leyva and Alan Cumming

There is good material here — reputedly based on a true story — that in surer hands would have deftly hit satisfying beats of heartwarming, outrage and heartbreak. But while its heart is in the right place, much of the film’s tone, dialogue and plotting skirts just above the caliber of a cheesy TV movie.

If you can excuse its flaws, it’s not a bad way to spend a January evening. It benefits from our current enlightenment about non-traditional relationships and retroactive wish-fulfillment: You really do want this cobbled-together family to make it.

AHOFF@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

Starts Fri., Jan. 11. Regent Square

Rally ’round the smart kids!

Katie Dellamaggiore’s new documentary,

Brooklyn Castle, follows a champion

chess team from a struggling New York City junior high school. 7 p.m. Fri., Jan. 11; 7 p.m. Sat., Jan. 12; 4:30 p.m. Sun., Jan. 13; and 7:30 p.m. Thu., Jan. 17.

Hollywood, Dormont

26

THE SEARCH A singular focus: CIA analyst Maya (Jessica Chastain)

{BY AL HOFF}

W

HEN DIRECTOR Kathryn Bigelow and her screenwriting partner Mark Boal set out to make the film once known as “The Untitled Osama Bin Laden Project,” the mastermind of the Sept. 11 attacks was still at large. The story was about the years-long pursuit, much of which occurred behind various CIA and black-ops curtains. Then, Bin Laden was located and killed, and the film got a new title, Zero Dark Thirty, and a classic ending.

Except this film isn’t really a rah-rah story of action dudes pursuing and killing the bad guy, re-establishing American justice and providing a vicarious exorcism of evil. For starters, the protagonist is a woman, a CIA analyst named Maya, who is more of a desk jockey than an armed warrior. And the “victory,” won

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.09./01.16.2013

with a decade’s worth of blood and treasure, is open to debate.

Maya is based mostly in Pakistan, and spends the better part of a decade obsessively searching for Bin Laden, even as the agency’s, and the world’s, focus shifts

ZERO DARK THIRTY DIRECTED BY: Kathryn Bigelow STARRING: Jessica Chastian Starts Fri., Jan. 11.

CP APPROVED away. (Maya is reputedly based on an actual woman, who may also be the basis for the similarly obsessed CIA analyst depicted on Homeland. As always, with matters Hollywood and CIA, one should never assume total veracity in what is

depicted on screen.)

As the driven Maya, an excellent Jessica Chastain heads an ensemble cast that includes Jessica Ehle, Jason Clarke, Kyle Chandler, Chris Pratt and James Gandolfini. Maya is a non-showy, methodical role that Chastain gradually convinces us of, much as her character doggedly establishes her bona fides in the not-alwayscompatible men-and-military world she inhabits.

Bigelow opts for a straightforward linear narrative, beginning with Sept. 11, 2001, and ending just after the raid on Bin Laden’s home. (As a historical framework, Bigelow includes news footage from real-life moments of terror, such as the bombings on London transit and at the Marriott, in Islamabad.) The film is divided into titled chapters, but

is composed of three main parts: the “dark side” years immediately following 9/11, a “tradecraft” procedural and the final mission.

In the first third, the story segments feel disjointed and somewhat confusing, intended to mirror history when the pursuit of Bin Laden was both urgent and scattershot. This is also the era of black sites and “enhanced interrogation,” both of which the film depicts. (ZDT has spurred a lot of gum-flapping about what, if any, function torture played in the “war on terror,” and whether the film suggests torture is effective. I say it doesn’t, but folks may see what they want to see here.)

For me, the middle of the film was the most interesting, depicting the lesserknown story of how Bin Laden was located. This portion, the lengthiest, is essentially a procedural, in which Maya marshals resources to identify and pursue a man she believes is Bin Laden’s courier, hoping he will lead them to the target. All the low-glam slog of detective work — plowing through data, monitoring, surveillance — not only reinvigorates the focus, but also establishes an actionable case. (Noted in the halls of the Obama White House, when the mission is debated: “The president is a thoughtful and analytical guy — he needs proof.”)

The last third is the mission itself, which despite its known outcome, is still relatively fraught, even as it appears to play out in real time and without the whiz-bang one expects from the actionmovie version. It’s tense, but also dark, murky and more disturbing than fistpumping. (The soundtrack is whispered military commands, gunshots, and women and children crying.)

Ultimately, Bigelow has made a notable film, one that condenses a lot of history into a manageable, even entertaining package, while eschewing jingoism. This documentary-like approach, without the usual emotional flourishes, may be why different viewers see different films: There’s a lot of empty space for filmgoers to fill in their own reactions to this post-9/11 decade, which we’ve all processed differently.

Zero Dark Thirty is fairly sober right through, and anyone looking for an exhilarating conclusion will be disappointed. The story’s final question is left for viewers to ask and answer: It’s been nearly two years since Bin Laden was killed, and what exactly have we won and lost in this ever-morphing, ongoing war on terror? Even Hollywood can’t put a Hollywood ending on it.

FILM CAPSULES CP

NEW

GANGSTER SQUAD. In the late 1940s, an elite crew of Los Angeles police work to keep out East Coast organized crime. Sean Penn, Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone star in Ruben Fleischer’s crime drama. Starts Fri., Jan. 11.

A HAUNTED HOUSE. Michael Tiddes directs this comedy about a couple who moves into their dream home, which — oops — turns out to be possessed by a demon. Marlon Wayans and Essence Atkins star. Starts Fri., Jan. 11.

N OT FADE AWAY. It’s no secret that David Chase, the creator of The Sopranos, harbors plenty of affection for the bygone days of working-class N ew Jersey and rock ’n’ roll, or how interested he is in mining the uneasy relationships between fathers and sons. So it’s little surprise that Chase makes his big-screen directorial debut with this period dramedy, set in the 1960s, about a teen-age guy from suburban N ew Jersey who puts a rock band together in the depths of the Generation Gap.

Not Fade Away Doug (John Magrao) and his high school pals (including a full-faced Jack Huston, last seen as disfigured and masked war vet Harrow on Boardwalk Empire) love the blues and blues-inspired rock, and dutifully bang away on guitars and drums at basement parties. As history checks off familiar moments — JFK, Beatles, marijuana, Vietnam, long hair, Martin Luther King Jr., Hendrix — Doug navigates the personal: girls, angry dad (James Gandolfini), feuding bandmates. But Doug’s coming-of-age story, which traverses the 1960s, fails to achieve much self-awareness or growth While occasionally amusing, the film is a mess, with thinly sketched characters and unresolved plots that no amount of vintage Fenders can fix. It feels like a series of set pieces that never coalesce around a whole or a point. Except maybe: “Hey, growing up in the ’60s! Remember?” Thus, its slim charms are best enjoyed by nostalgic Boomers who have yet to tire of seeing the same old 1960s tropes depicted.

On the upside, Chase must have spent a fortune on music clearances; the film doesn’t scrimp on songs (and TV clips) by The Beatles, Rolling Stones and many other ’60s hitmakers.

And real-life vet of New Jersey bands Steven Van Zandt pens a couple of serviceable pop-garage tunes for the lads to sing.

But oh, the last few minutes of this film are so very bad. Some folks went ballistic about Chase’s minimalist ending of The Sopranos, but the one here — with extra explaining — is even worse. So here’s a free tip: When Charlie Watts appears on screen, leave the theater. AMC Loews, Cinemark Pittsburgh Mills (Al Hoff) CONTINUES ON PG. 28

A HOFF@ PGHC ITY PAP ER.CO M

N E W S

+

TA S T E

= CITY PAPER APPROVED

+

M U S I C

+

S C R E E N

+

A R T S

+

E V E N T S

+

C L A S S I F I E D S

27

FILM CAPSULES, CONTINUED FROM PG. 27

REPERTORY

of a serial killer, and his cat-and-mouse game with the authorities. Anthony Hopkins stars as Hannibal Lecter, killer and gourmand, while Jodie Foster portrays the FBI agent who hunts him down. The film continues a Saturday-night series of Oscar classics. Midnight, Sat., Jan. 12. Manor

CLOSE EN COUN TERS OF THE THIRD KIN D. In Steven Spielberg’s 1977 film, aliens come to earth and play with our government’s giant synthesizer. Intergalactic harmony ensues. Richard Dreyfuss stars as the man who believes in friendly space-dudes. 7:30 p.m.

Thu., Jan. 10; 9:15 p.m. Fri., Jan. 11, and Sat., Jan. 12; and 7 p.m. Sun., Jan. 13. Hollywood, Dormont

CHAPLIN SHORTS. Three of Charlie Chaplin’s silent comedy shorts — “One A.M.,” “The Rink” and “The Pawnshop” — screen, with an original score composed and performed live by keyboardist Tom Roberts. The films will be introduced by Chaplin scholar and performer Dan Kamin. 2 p.m. Sun., Jan. 13. Hollywood, Dormont

BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD. Hushpuppy is 6-year-old narrator and protagonist of Benh Zeitlin’s film, which recounts her existential awakening, as she learns how to best ride out the chaos of the universe. Hushpuppy (Quvenzhané Wallis) lives with her father, Wink (Dwight Henry), and a handful of neighbors at the edge of Louisiana, where the bayou runs into the sea. There is trouble coming, though: a hurricane, a death and potentially cataclysmic events. She has her own child-like common sense, but it’s her toughlove daddy who must provide her most critical schooling. Told from the perspective of a child, it’s a matter-of-fact account of a hardscrabble existence combined with both the lyrical and fearsome aspects of a fairy tale — an optimistic bit of fatalism that’s as uplifting as it is disconcerting. Beasts is a crazycool stewpot, an allegorical fable informed by our knowledge of dangerous reality, like climate change, and mitigated by a child’s sense of wonder and steady purpose. Remarkably, the film’s heady mix of real and unreal is delivered on the tiny but extraordinarily capable shoulders of 6-year-old actress Wallis. Neither she nor Henry, who plays her father, are professionals, yet their performances are riveting. Starts Fri., Jan. 11. Harris (AH)

as soon as they arrive, the local birds start acting nasty. The romantic getaway becomes a nightmare, especially as more and more birds go on the attack.

Some of the many “trick” shots Hitchcock used to illustrate rampaging birds have grown dated, but still effective is the near-absence of dialogue and music in the film’s final scenes. And perhaps most unsettling is the film’s refusal to explain the organized avian mayhem — or offer any assured closure. 10 p.m. Fri., Jan. 11, and 10 p.m. Sat., Jan. 12. Oaks (AH)

THE BIRDS. Oh, birds seem benign and sing so pretty. But lest you forget that birds have a darker side … there’s Alfred Hitchcock’s 1963 domestic-horror classic. Rod Taylor and Tippi Hedren hope to spend a quiet weekend in the country, but

MR. SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON. Jimmy Stewart stars in Frank Capra’s classic about an idealistic young man who, upon being appointed a U.S. Senator, discovers the workings of democracy are rife with corruption. The 1939 film screens as this month’s

CP

CP

28

PSYCHO. Alfred Hitchcock’s classic 1960 film is a thriller and treatise on troubled motherson relationships. Embezzler-on-the-run Janet Leigh picks the wrong motel to catch some rest at, though the proprietor seems friendly enough …

Psycho remains a textbook of masterful editing, and Bernard Hermann’s score is as creepy as ever. The film continues a month-long, Sunday-night series of films that were mind-blowing when released. 8 p.m. Sun., Jan.13. Regent Square (AH)

CP

Beasts of the Southern Wild

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.09./01.16.2013

CineBrunch, with food provided by Oakmont Bakery.

Brunch at 10 a.m.; screening at 11 a.m. Sat., Jan. 12.

Oaks. $12 (brunch and film); $6 (film only).

THE POWER OF TWO. Marc Smolowitz’s documentary follows two half-Japanese twin sisters, their fight against cystic fibrosis (including receiving lung transplants) and their ongoing advocacy for organ donation. The 2011 film is presented by Silk Screen, and will be followed by a discussion. In English, and Japanese, with subtitles. 2 p.m. Sat., Jan. 12. Gregg Theater, Sewickley Academy, 315 Academy Ave., Sewickley. Free. www.silkscreenfestival.org SILENCE OF THE LAMBS. Jonathan Demme’s 1991 thriller has become one of cinema’s indelible portraits

THE HEART OF JENIN. After his child was killed by Israelis, a Palestinian father donates the boy’s organs to six Israeli children. This documentary from Lior Geller and Marcus Vetter follows the father as he visits the six children who lives were saved by the transplants. The 2008 film is presented by Silk Screen, and will be followed by a discussion. In English, and Arabic, with subtitles. 7 p.m. Thu., Jan. 17. Gregg Theater, Sewickley Academy, 315 Academy Ave., Sewickley. Free. www.silkscreenfestival.org AN DY WARHOL FILMS. Selections from Warhol’s Factory Diaries series (1971-75) and other shorts screen. Ongoing. Free with museum admission. Andy Warhol Museum, North Side. www.warhol.org

[ART REVIEW]

MANY TRADITIONAL PRACTICES SEEM TO AID HUMAN WELL-BEING

GROUP ON {BY ROBERT RACZKA}

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

SMALL STEP GIANT LEAP continues through Jan. 20. Pittsburgh Center for the Arts, 6300 Fifth Ave., Shadyside.

412-361-0873 or www.pittsburgharts.org N E W S

+

[BOOK]

PRE-HISTORY

LESSONS {BY BILL O’DRISCOLL}

F

OR NEARLY all of our estimated 200,000

“Give Me Your Rubber Heart,” by Renee Ruth Ickes

Keystone West is a small, informal group of diverse yet somewhat like-minded artists based in, or maintaining a strong tie to, Pittsburgh. Sharing an awareness and ambition that transcends the regional, they meet sporadically to discuss each other’s work in a way that combines encouragement and scrutiny.

And occasionally they put together a group exhibit such as Small Step Giant Leap, at Pittsburgh Center for the Arts.

All six members are experienced artists of some repute locally and beyond. Tom Sarver’s “Good & Plenty” (dated 2012, as are all works in the exhibit) is a surreal, meandering doodle unified by a network of vertebrae and tree branches — a oneman “exquisite cadaver” drawing. Renee Ruth Ickes also falls into the broad category of the cartoon- and illustration-inflected figurative art that’s been prevalent for a couple of decades. But in Ickes’ “Give Me Your Rubber Heart” ink drawings, the cartoonishness mitigates a fairly grim vision of confinement and unease. Equally fresh are gouaches and a sculpture by MJ Sadeghi, whose Middle Eastern heritage shows up in her flattened drawing style as well as the (to American eyes) essentially unfurnished interior of “Reading in an ideal living room.”

As for the reworked, there’s Thommy Conroy’s big oil painting “The huntsman knows all his hounds,” which mimics, mines and, hopefully, mocks a tired tradition that maintains some cultural cachet, if only in luxury-lifestyle marketing. In the series “Convent object 1-6,” by Carolyn Kelly, the expanded field of unconventional materials is employed in a mash-up of drawings of natural-history skeletons, embroidered flowers and gold leaf that feels assertively sketchy. Tommy Bones’ “NOVA ELLIPSIS” assembles plastic toy model parts to create a boyish dream of a grand spaceship, one that’d never fly. A similar strategy of repurposing the existing appears in David Montano’s unbuildable “Studies for Absurd Theatres” collages, while his found-object sculpture “Correspondent” deflected my attempts at interpretation; some things just are. Elizabeth Deasy’s untitled painting atmospherically brings the nonrepresentational into the mix.

The works in this show overlap with many approaches found in current art, from cartoonish figuration to conceptualish materialism. While there’s no consistent style or approach, the artworks never seem to be at odds with one another. The mood seems to be one of mutual support and, importantly, mutual challenge.

years on Earth, human beings were nomadic or semi-nomadic huntergatherers. We lived off the land, used stone tools and spent most days in the company of the few dozen people in our band. Our lifestyle began changing only some 11,000 years ago, with the beginnings of agriculture and settled communities. And only during the past few millennia did humans create the large, urbanized societies we now take for granted.

Actually, contemporary humans consider normal an even newer way of life, one characterized by nation-states, heavy global trade, constant technological change … and pre-sweetened breakfast cereals.

But as Jared Diamond argues, we’re not normal. Like a polyester shirt on an Ice Age tribeswoman, we’re WEIRD — Western, educated, industrialized, rich and democratic. And that bias blinds us to wisdom that traditional people derived from what Diamond calls “thousands of natural experiments” over countless generations.

In his new book, The World Until Yesterday: What Can We Learn from Traditional Societies?

(Viking), Diamond provocatively compares our modern lifestyle to the ways of 39 traditional societies around the world: Africa’s Kalahari San, Australian aborigines, the Yanomamo of the Amazon.

Some still live much like our Stone Age ancestors.

The 75-year-old Diamond draws many of his examples from New Guinea and

Jared Diamond

neighboring islands, where he’s regularly taken research trips for nearly 50 years.

Whether for his own scientific interest or to conduct environmental surveys for either government agencies or Chevron Corp., Diamond was visiting New Guinea to study birds.

But during his 26 sojourns, he also spent much time among tribespeople and villagers. He mined that experience in his Pulitzer Prizewinning 1997 book Guns, Germs and Steel and 2005’s Collapse, and which he explores even more fully in The World Until Yesterday.

Although we moderns are anatomically identical to Stone Agers past and present, Diamond notes, we live very differently.

Traditional folk seldom

encounter strangers, for instance, and thoroughly distrust them. And they make everything they need, rather than buying it. But as he documents, many traditional practices seem to aid human well-being.

Among them: on-demand breast-feeding;

JARED DIAMOND AT THE MONDAY NIGHT LECTURES

7:30 p.m. Mon., Jan. 14. Carnegie Music Hall, 4400 Forbes Ave., Oakland. $15-25. 412-622-8866 or www.pittsburghlectures.org

nonpunitive child-rearing; restorative justice and mediation (rather than our adversarial, right-or-wrong justice system); bi- or multilingualism; and the low-salt, low-sugar diets our bodies were actually made for, instead of our unhealthy alternative.

In a phone interview with City Paper from a speaking-tour stop in Seattle, CONTINUES ON PG. 30

TA S T E

+

M U S I C

+

S C R E E N

+

A R T S

+

E V E N T S

+

C L A S S I F I E D S

29

= J]qcdpu " Deh]nekqo Jecdp Kqp

O A O A J P O O A N E A O > U P N Q O P L N ? K D A J " C N E C

F]jq]nu -,)-. >ud]i Pda]pan >KT KBBE?A =P PDA=PAN OMQ=NA PNQOP=NPO*KNC 0-.)012)2222 CNKQLO -,' PE?GAPO 0-.)03-)25/,

PRE-HISTORY LESSONS, CONTINUED FROM PG. 29

Diamond says that he hopes The World Until Yesterday can help dissolve our unrealistic love/hate relationship with traditional societies.

“We in the West,” he says, “go back and forth between, at the one extreme, regarding traditional societies as primitive brutes from whom we can learn nothing” and, alternately, idealizing and romanticizing them — even ignoring the infanticide, and the killing and abandonment of elders, that occurs in some societies.

In Collapse, Diamond sounded an environmental alarm, noting that any one of a dozen global crises — from climate change and deforestation to overpopulation — might be enough to undermine modern civilization, as smaller-scale crises once did to Easter Islanders and the Greenland Norse.

Such examples contrast starkly with Diamond’s example of New Guinea’s highland farmers, who have practiced a form of sustainable agriculture for some 7,000 years.

While environmental issues remain pressing, The World Until Yesterday doesn’t address them explicitly. And in fact, Diamond says, despite their relatively miniscule environmental impact, traditional societies are not always green role models.

“It’s not the case that traditional people are wise stewards of their environment who never exterminate anything. They can make mistakes,” he says. “They have less potent firepower for exterminating species, but nonetheless they’ve often managed to do it with their stone axes and clubs.”

The most environmentally sustainable traditional societies, he says, are those that have secure land and tenure there. Such conditions give them both a stake in what happens to the land and the ability to prevent outsiders from exploiting resources (like fish or forage) they are managing for themselves.

Diamond does agree, however, that traditional societies’ emphasis on community responsibility — to the point of discouraging the celebration of individual achievement — helps them manage resources better than we do.

“We in the West, with our emphasis on the individual, tend to feel those resources are there for me to harvest, and never mind whether it depletes resources for other people,” he says. “In a traditional society, where everybody depends on each other and you know all your neighbors, the resources are there for everybody, and that then is more of a recipe for managing the resources in the interests of the community.”

Diamond himself is carefully managing information about the nature of his Jan. 14 talk here at Drue Heinz Monday Night Lectures. “It will be a surprise that will delight you and my listeners,” he promises.

DR ISC O L L @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

30

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.09./01.16.2013

[BOOK REVIEW]

RESPIRATORS {BY BILL O’DRISCOLL}

Each of Paola Corso’s two latest works of poetry explores, from different angles, the inevitability of work and the conditionality of the air we breathe.

The latter warning is a literal one, fraught with mortality. In the collection The Laundress Catches Her Breath (CavanKerry Press), Corso empathetically but unsentimentally depicts the life of a woman in a luckless mill town. Her days are consumed by her grease-spattered kitchen job at Eat’n Park and laundry duty for her overbearing mill-worker father and dying uncle.

The 22 mostly short poems are spread over 67 pages. That suggests plenty of breathing room, but Corso’s laundress is a heavy smoker, her father inhales mill dust, and her beloved uncle is on oxygen. Her existence, accounted in articles of clothing and spats with the people in her life, is a fight for air.

The diurnal tone turns dreamlike.

One series of poems depicts the laundress’ dark-humored colloquy with a wooden Virgin Mary (complete with infant son) who emerges from a washing machine.

Meanwhile, the surreal, 30-page “Heiress of Air” is built around a visit to an oxygen bar the laundress hallucinates after workplace smoke-inhalation knocks her out.

The Laundress concerns its heroine’s struggle for transcendence — or even just an apartment of her own. But Corso and her protagonist keep their senses of humor. When the Virgin Mary requests that she exhale away from the baby, “The laundress shrugs and says as the smoke steams out of her nostrils, ‘He’s Jesus. He’ll live.’”

Corso herself is the daughter of a Pittsburgh mill family and recently relocated here. Her simultaneously published chapbook Once I Was Told the Air Was Not for Breathing (Parallel Press) takes an historically wider view of themes in Laundress. Part I surveys the dangers of a century’s mill jobs through a variety of working-class men. Part II depicts the women in the garment industry, past and present. Several poems recall 1911’s infamous Triangle Shirtwaist fire; in “Identified,” Corso poignantly memorializes some of the 146 immigrants who died by cataloguing their identifying marks: “Gussie Bierman / by the pendant watch she wrapped around her neck twice.”

The chapbook is animated by simmering working-class anger. One speaker, told by the company doctor to stop smoking, notes that his job’s even worse for his lungs. “I can quit cigarettes,” says the mill hand, “but no way in hell can I quit work.”

DRISCOLL@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

[PLAY REVIEW]

CHESS

CHIEF CONSIDERATIONS

THE MUSICAL

anta an tark ta rkti rk t ko ti kos s

{BY TED HOOVER}

WHILE IT’S TRUE I’m not what you’d call

much of a sports fan, it’s pierced even my consciousness that the Steelers didn’t perform up to expectations this year. (I follow the team’s success by the amount of black-and-gold cupcakes available at Giant Eagle.) But take heart, you pigskin people, there is an alternative.

In 2003, the Pittsburgh Public Theater premiered The Chief, starring Tom Atkins as Steelers founding owner Art Rooney and written by local lads Gene Collier and Rob Zellers. The show’s been revived nearly every year since and I hope you didn’t believe the Public when the 2011 production was announced as the last ever. I mean, Judy Garland started giving farewell concerts in the middle of her career.

So The Chief is back this year, again with Atkins and directed by Ted Pappas.

The play is set in Rooney’s ofďŹ ce in Three Rivers Stadium in 1976. As Rooney closes up shop and dresses to go to a Knights of Columbus dinner honoring him, he talks to the audience about his past, some NFL behindthe-scenes antics and thoughts on the current state (circa 1976) of professional sports.

It should come as no surprise that the intent of The Chief is nothing less than godhead-polishing. There may be some who believe theater is the ruthless examination of the human condition, but I can guarantee you that the ďŹ ve of them haven’t bought tickets. Collier and Zellers are there to praise Rooney and the audience is there to see him praised, so it’s a win/win for just about everyone involved.

A high-speed romp ďŹ lled with intrigue, gossip & innuendo into the abyss.

The second half of our season is as thrilling as the ďŹ rst. Please join us.

412-392-8000 pittsburghplayhouse.com GET TICKETS NOW AT

Ronald Allan-Lindblom artistic director s %ARL (UGHES producing director

{PHOTO COURTESY OF PITTSBURGH PUBLIC THEATER}

Tom Atkins in Pittsburgh Public Theater’s The Chief

of a very enjoyable evening.

In a lot of ways, Rooney’s life — he was born in 1901 on the North Side — mirrors Pittsburgh’s own relatively recent history and, indeed, the history of professional football: From gritty working-class beginnings, the grubby also-ran rises to achieve a national reputation.

By far the most interesting aspect of Collier and Zellers’ script is the historical snapshots provided, a glance back to a time when the Triangle was decidedly less Golden.

But the evening’s most entertaining element is Atkins’ performance. Collier and Zellers have written Rooney as a gruff, self-mocking Average Joe who hides blistering intelligence and insight behind a Will Rogers-esque aw-shucks showman. This nationally known Pittsburgh-based character actor inhabits the role utterly, giving life to all Collier and Zellers have provided him.

And since he’s been appearing in the role since 2003, Atkins knows precisely when to play out to the audience and when to seduce them into his performance. It’s rather mind-boggling to watch such a hugely talented man work the crowd as brilliantly as Atkins does here. It is, believe me, a billion times better than football.

IN A LOT OF WAYS, ART ROONEY’S LIFE MIRRORS PITTSBURGH’S OWN RELATIVELY RECENT HISTORY.

THE CHIEF

continues through Sat., Jan. 12.

Pittsburgh Public Theater, 621 Penn Ave., Downtown. $15.75-65. 412-316-1600 or www.ppt.org

I should say that the ďŹ nal 15 minutes or so does ďŹ nd the sentimentality rolling out rather thickly, with Collier and Zellers pushing more emotional buttons than Spielberg. But that comes at the end

I N F O @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

N E W S

+

TA S T E

+

M U S I C

+

5)& .64*$"- -&(&/% #SFBLJOH #PY 0GGJDF 3FDPSET "DSPTT "NFSJDB

0QFOT 5VFTEBZ +BOVBSZ … #FOFEVN $FOUFS #PY 0ÉDF BU 5IFBUFS 4RVBSF t t 5SVTUArts PSH t (SPVQT 5JDLFUT ACCESSIBLE

-FT.JT DPN

SERVICES AVAILABLE

5. ‰ $.0-

S C R E E N

PNC Broadway Across America-Pittsburgh is a presentation of The Pittsburgh Cultural Trust, Pittsburgh Symphony and Broadway Across America.

+

A R T S

+

E V E N T S

+

C L A S S I F I E D S

31

FOR THE WEEK OF

01.10.01.17.13

FOR INFORMATION ON HOW TO SUBMIT LISTINGS AND PRESS RELEASES, CALL 412.316.3342 X161.

+ THU., JAN. 10 {STAGE}

The season for explaining national-media references to Fifty Shades of Grey to your elderly relatives may be over, but there could still be some snickers left in the E.L. James novel. Touring show Spank! The Fifty Shades Parody plays the Byham Theater for three shows starting tonight. Written by Jim Millan, whose production credits include Larry King Standing Up, it stars a cast of three and uses sketches, improv and musical comedy to animate an author’s attempt to pen a kinky bestseller. Catherine Sylvain 8 p.m. Also 8 p.m. Fri., Jan. 11, and 8 p.m. Sat., Jan. 12.

101 Sixth St., Downtown. $35.50-45.50. 412-456-6666 or www.trustarts.org

+ FRI., JAN. 11 {STAGE}

If any show earns exclamation points in both its title and subtitle, it’s probably Yo Gabba Gabba LIVE!: Get the Sillies

JAN. 10

Spank! The Fifty Shades Parody

32

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.09./01.16.2013

JAN. 12 Lewis Black

Out! This is the nationally touring stage version of the popular live-action Nick Jr. series. “The sillies,” a press release helpfully explains, “are crazy little creatures that live inside us and need to be shaken out!” Before this affliction medical science stands useless,

but DJ Lance Rock, Biz Markie, Brobee, Foofa and friends can help. So can the production’s guest performers, a list that in the past has included a musical who’s-who ranging from the Drive By Truckers to Snoop Dogg. The silliness visits the Benedum Center for two shows today. Bill O’Driscoll 3:30 and 6:30 p.m. 719 Liberty Ave., Downtown. $29.25-129.95. 412456-6666 or www.trustarts.org

{GAMES}

Attack Theatre continues its uniquely casual approach to sneak previews with the year’s first Game Night and the Seven-Minute Dance Series. It really is about play: At Attack headquarters, in the Strip’s Pittsburgh Opera building, you can play foursquare, darts, board games from backgammon to Battleship, vintage Atari and more. And throughout the evening, Attack dancers will perform short excerpts of the troupe’s upcoming show, Soap Opera, a blend of dance and opera inspired by the story of Scheherezade. Even if you’ve done Game Night before, Attack promises more interactivity and other twists.

Adult beverages are included.

BO 7-11 p.m. 2425 Liberty Ave., Strip District. Suggested

sp otlight “I think there’s too many rules in standup,” says veteran comic Matt Wohlfarth. You know: Comedian writes jokes, comedian performs jokes, audience sits there and laughs (or not). In recent years, at venues like The Pittsburgh Improv, Wohlfarth has field-tested a format designed to explode that model. In his Comic Wars, improv skills and audience participation supplant scripted jokes. The inaugural six-week Comic Wars series begins Jan. 11, at Mullen’s Bar and Grill. Two teams — Alex Stypula and Shannon Norman vs. Mark Mammone and Ray Zawodni — will compete in categories including best single joke by each comedian and best impression. In Pot O’ Premises, a comic must free-associate for two minutes on a random premise; the Grocery Bag Round is similar, but with grocery products. Comics also compete on responding to hecklers and riffing on topics texted by the audience. Winners are determined by audience repsonse (as gauged by host Wohlfarth), and receive half the door. The format “takes away every comedian’s safety net,” says Wohlfarth. But, he adds, “The comedians love it, because they get to free-associate.” Boxing fan Wohlfarth compares Comic Wars to a legendary training facility where the fighters faced tougher challenges than in their actual fights: “It’s kind of like the Kronk Gym of comedy.” Bill O’Driscoll 8 p.m. Fri., Jan. 11. Continues Fridays through Feb. 15.

Mullen’s, 200 Federal St., North Side. $8. 412-231-1112

donation: $5. 412-281-3305 or www.attacktheatre.com

{COMEDY}

{PHOTO COURTESY OF DEEN VAN MEER}

While Lewis Black’s latest standup show, The Rant Is Due, pertains to the recent presidential election, there’s little doubt the comic will mine fodder from more recent events in politics, particularly the fiscal cliff. Also an actor, author and playwright, Black, 64, is best known as a recurring commentator on The Daily Show With Jon Stewart. In his “Back in Black” segment he doles out social criticism so angrily and accurately it’s funny. His tour includes one show at Heinz Hall, tonight. CS 8 p.m.

600 Penn Ave., Downtown. $39.50-75. 412-392-4900 or www.trustarts.org

{STAGE}

+ SAT., JAN. 12 {OUTDOORS}

They look like tennis rackets on your feet, but snowshoes are a great explore way to explo ex plore r the forest in

JAN. 15

Les Misérables

winter. On snowy Saturdays, anyone from beginners on up can try out gear for free at Jennings Environmental Education Center. (The center’s also open weekdays.) And today, physically fit folks who know snowshoeing basics are welcome to join Venture Outdoorss at Raccoon Creek State Park for a day of traversing somewhat

{PHOTO COURTESY OF DAVID RODGERS}

Few if any Americans of the 20th century lived a more creative and tumultuous public life than Paul Robeson. Best known as a singer and stage and film actor, he was also a pro footballer, contributed to the Harlem Renaissance and, later, became a staunch political activist whose Communist views got him blacklisted.

Touring actor and comic Stogie Kenyatta brings the iconic Robeson to life in The World Is My Home, a one-man show in which Kenyatta portrays 10 characters including Robeson’s father (a runaway slave) and Robeson himself from ages 5 to 70. The show, popular on the college circuit, visits Community Empowerment Association headquarters for one performance tonight. BO 8 p.m.

7120 Kelly St., Homewood. $5-10. 412-371-3689, x14 or www.ceapittsburgh.org

JAN. 12

Fo Nations Four Nat ati tion n Ensemble

N E W S

+

TA S T E

+

challenging terrain. The session’s fee includes snowshoe rental. BO Jennings: 9 a.m.2 p.m. (2951 Prospect Road, Slippery Rock; call to confirm snow: 724-794-6011). Venture Outdoors: 10 a.m.-2 p.m.

(Hookstown, Pa.; $29; www.ventureoutdoors.org).

{EXHIBIT}

Phipps Conservatory provides a welcome contrast to January bleakness with its Orchid and Tropical Bonsai Show. The Japanese craft of bonsai — growing miniature versions of tree species — is known to produce feelings of well-being and calmness in spectators.

Orchids require similarly intense cultivation, and the display will include practical tips for gardeners and feature laboratory equipment used by Phipps staff.

The show is an opportunity to see all of the Conservatory’s permanent tropical collection in one exhibit. CS 9:30 a.m.-5 p.m.

Continues through Feb. 24.

1 Schenley Park, Oakland. $11-15. 412-622-6914 or www.phipps.conservatory.org

M U S I C

+

new staging and scenery based on paintings by Victor Hugo, whose epic novel about love and revolution in 19th-century France provided the show’s source material. It is now the world’s longest-running musical; is currently in theaters as a film; and features the song “I Dreamed a Dream,” largely responsible for the career of

holding here finally culminate in a big storytelling showdown. Tonight, at the New Hazlett Theater, it’s Pittsburgh’s first-ever Moth GrandSLAM Story Championship. Ten winners from the monthly series assemble to tell their stories of being out of their element — or as a press release

JAN. 12

Orchid and Tropical Bonsai Show

{MUSIC}

The French aristocracy were famously removed from the public in the 18th century. Four Nations Ensemble highlights this in Court and Concert, a program of French chamber music contrasting court favorites with those of the public concert stage. The early-music group was founded in 1986 and has toured worldwide.

Artistic director and harpsichordist Andrew Appel returns to Synod Hall courtesy of the Renaissance & Baroque Society to lead the Hudson, N.Y.-based ensemble and guest violinist Tatiana Chulochnikova through a program of Blavet, Couperin, Francoeur and Mondonville. CS 8 p.m. 125 N. Craig St., Oakland. $10-35. 412361-2048 or www.rbsp.org

+ TUE., JAN. 15

+ THU., JAN. 17

{STAGE}

To mark 25 years since its London debut, producer Cameron Mackintosh has recrafted Les Misérables for a touring production. It features

S C R E E N

+

A R T S

Susan Boyle. Les Misérables begins its two-week run at the Benedum Center tonight. CS 7:30 p.m. Continues through Jan. 27. $26-79. 412-456-4800 or www.trustarts.org

{WORDS}

So all those The Moth StorySLAMs they’ve been

+

E V E N T S

+

puts it, “the black sheep, the chatty monk, the juror with a doubt.” Pittsburgh’s one of 10 cities with its own version of the popular, New Yorkspawned event. At the New Hazlett, as always, competitors will tell their true five-minute stories without notes for judges randomly selected from the audience. BO 7:30 p.m. 6 Allegheny Square East, North Side. $20. www.themoth.org

C L A S S I F I E D S

33

“Schema 1” by Brett Thomas Herron from Retroactive Reprography at Shaw Galleries

VISUAL

TO SUBMIT A LISTING: HTTP://HAPPENINGS.PGHCITYPAPER.COM

ART

412.316.3388 (FAX) + 412.316.3342 X161 (PHONE)

{ALL LISTINGS MUST BE SUBMITTED BY 9 A.M. FRIDAY PRIOR TO PUBLICATION}

THEATER THE CHIEF. One-man play about Art Rooney, Sr. Tue-Sun. Thru Jan. 12.

O’Reilly Theater, Downtown.

412-316-1600.

THE DEATH OF DR. PEPPER. Interactive murder mystery dinner theater. Wed, Sat. Thru Jan. 16.

Gaetano’s Restaurant, Dormont.

412-343-6640.

GRAND NIGHT FOR SINGING. Musical tribute to Rodgers & Hammerstein. WedSun. Thru Jan. 20. Cabaret at Theater Square, Downtown.

412-456-6666.

LES MISERABLES. TueSun. Thru Jan. 27.

Benedum Center, Downtown.

412-456-4800.

SOUTH SIDE STORIES. Onewoman show portraying the dynamism of the Pittsburgh neighborhood. Tue-Sun. Thru Jan. 13. City Theatre, South Side.

412-431-2489.

COMEDY THU 10

COMEDY OPEN MIC W/ DEREK MINTO. Thu. Thru Jan. 17 Hambone’s, Lawrenceville.

412-681-4318.

PITTSBURGH IMPROV JAM. Thu. Thru Feb. 28 Cabaret at Theater Square, Downtown.

412-325-6769.

FRI 11

PITTSBURGH COMEDY SHOWCASE W/ MIKE WYSOCKI. Fri, 9 p.m. Corner Cafe, South Side.

412-488-2995.

TOTALLY FREE MONDAYS. Mon, 8 p.m. Steel City Improv Theater, North Side. 412-322-1000.

TUE 15

FRANK CALIENDO. Jan. 11-12 The Improv, Waterfront.

412-462-5233.

SAT 12

WED 16

THE AMISH MONKEYS. Improv sketch comedy. 8 p.m.

Gemini Theater, Point Breeze.

412-243-5201.

CRITIC: Ben Rickles, 25, a research assistant from Highland Park EVENT: Healthy

Artists Movie Poster Exhibition, ModernFormations Gallery, Garfield

Jan. 4

I came to this exhibition because I’m interested in health care as the biggest human-rights issue of our generation. It’s a bunch of movie posters for the documentary [series] Healthy Artists, depicting themes of art and health in various styles. There’s cartoons and abstract, there’s one with a tonguedepressor on it, and there’s one of a wooden model with the human anatomy laid on top of it, which is my favorite. The exhibit is a symbiosis of displaying different artists’ work and doing something for health care that’s bigger than handing out flyers. For people to be creative they need to have their needs met. For some reason, people think it’s OK for artists to suffer for their job. I hope this exhibit shows that injustice.

I don’t actually know any artists personally who have health insurance if it’s not through their parents, and I know a lot of artists.

BY CATHERI N E SYLVAI N

34

MON 14

OPEN MIC STAND UP COMEDY NITE. Hosted by Derek Minto & John Pridmore. Tue, 9:30 p.m.

Smiling Moose, South Side.

412-612-4030.

FRI 11 - SAT 12

EVERYONE IS A CRITIC

WHEN: Fri.,

BOB GOLUB, MIKE TRAVERS, JOE EBERLE. 5:30 p.m.

Rostraver Ice Garden, Belle Vernon. 724-379-7100.

LEWIS BLACK. 8 p.m. Heinz Hall, Downtown. 412-392-4900.

SCIT SOCIAL IMPROV JAM. For new & experienced improvisers. Sat, 6:30 p.m.

Steel City Improv Theater, North Side. 412-322-1000.

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.09./01.16.2013

BOB GOLUB, DAVID KAYE. 7 p.m.

Peter B’s, Sarver. 724-353-2677.

JOKEE OAKEE. Comedy open stage hosted by Tonnochi:B. Wed Younger’s, North Side.

412-452-3267.

STAND-UP COMEDY OPEN MIC. Wed, 8 p.m. The BeerHive, Strip District. 412-904-4502.

EXHIBITS ALLEGHENY-KISKI VALLEY

HERITAGE MUSEUM. Military artifacts and exhibits on the Allegheny Valley’s industrial heritage. Tarentum. 724-224-7666.

AUGUST WILSON CENTER FOR AFRICAN AMERICAN CULTURE. The Nazi Olympics: Berlin 1936.

An exhibit exploring 1936 Olympic Games including use of propaganda, the boycott debate, history of the torch run, & the historic performance of Jesse Owens. Curated by the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum. Downtown.

412-258-2700.

BAYERNHOF MUSEUM. Large collection of automatic roll-played musical instruments and music boxes in a mansion setting.

Call for appointment. O’Hara.

412-782-4231.

CARNEGIE MUSEUM OF ART. Inventing the Modern World: Decorative Arts at the World’s Fairs, 1851–1939. Furniture, metalwork, glass, ceramics, textiles, & jewelry produced by Herman Miller, Tiffany, more. Oakland.

412-622-3131.

CARNEGIE MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY. Empowering Women: Artisan Cooperatives that Transform Communities. Folk art objects illustrating the power CONTINUES ON PG. 35

NEW THIS WEEK

EVOLVER TATTOO ARTS. January OnSight. Sculpture

by Talon Smith. Opening: Jan. 11, 8-11 p.m. South Side.

412-481-1004.

SHAW GALLERIES. Retroactive Reprography. Print works by Brett Thomas Herron. Opening reception: Jan. 11, 5-8 p.m.

Downtown. 412-281-4884.

ONGOING

AMERICAN JEWISH MUSEUM. Radiant Circles: Ruth E. Levine’s Generous Life. Key work from Levine’s various artistic stages. Squirrel Hill. 412-521-8010.

ANDY WARHOL MUSEUM. Jeremy Kost: Friends w/ Benefits. Photography. I Just Want to Watch: Warhol’s Film, Video and Television.

Long-term exhibition of Warhol’s film & video work.

Permanent collection. Artwork and artifacts by the famed Pop Artist. North Side.

412-237-8300.

ARTISTS IMAGE RESOURCE. Printwork 2012. National juried print exhibition feat. over 20 artists. North Side.

412-321-8664.

BARCO LAW LIBRARY. Preta. New paintings by Joshua Nickerson. Oakland.

BLUE OLIVE GALLERIES. All Local Artists. Muli media, pottery, woods & jewelry.

Frazier. 724-275-7001.

BOXHEART GALLERY. The 12th Annual Art Inter/National. Invitational group show exploring space and how the immediate environment affects

the artistic process. Bloomfield.

412-687-8858.

CARNEGIE MUSEUM OF ART. White Cube, Green Maze: New Art Landscapes.

6 innovative institutions dedicated to the experience of culture & nature. Cory Arcangel: Masters. Repurposed readymade digital technology.

Oakland. 412-622-3131.

CATHOLIC CHARITIES BUILDING. Park Journeys: Yellowstone. Work by Manchester Craftsmen’s Guild students. Downtown.

412-456-6999.

CHATHAM UNIVERSITY. Culture in Context. African Art from the Olkes Collection.

Shadyside. 412-365-1232.

CHRISTINE FRECHARD GALLERY. Fractures. Paintings

by Eva Rorandelli. Squirrel Hill.

412-421-8888.

EASTSIDE GALLERY. Ceramic Creatures. Work

by Bernie Pintar. East Liberty.

412-465-0140.

FE GALLERY. Beautiful Dreamers: A Celebration of Pittsburgh Women.

Portraits by Sonja Sweterlitsch. Lawrenceville.

412-254-4038.

FEIN ART GALLERY. 5th Annual Holiday Show.

Affordable art for the holidays. Curated by Kathleen Zimbicki. North Side.

412-321-6816.

FRICK ART & HISTORICAL CENTER. Permanent collection of European Art. Point Breeze.

412-371-0600.

GALLERIE CHIZ. Architectural Perspectives: Places & Planes. Work by Guglielmo

Botter & Ben Saks. Shadyside.

412-441-6005.

THE GALLERY 4. Genexodus.

Handmade paper cuttings by Theodore Bolha. Shadyside.

412-363-5050.

GAY & LESBIAN COMMUNITY CENTER. Royal Portrait Show. Drag portraits. Downtown.

412-422-0114.

GLENN GREENE STAINED GLASS STUDIO INC. Original Glass Art by Glenn Greene. Exhibition of new work, recent work & older work. Regent Square.

412-243-2772.

LA PRIMA ESPRESSO. Paintings/Prints of Italy.

Prints of Vince Ornato’s oil paintings of Italy. Strip District. 412-281-1922.

LAKEVUE ATHLETIC CLUB. Pop-Up Gallery. Work by a variety of artists. Valencia.

724-316-9326.

LAWRENCE HALL GALLERY. Landscape Expressions.

Work by Lynn Fero. Downtown.

412-392-8008.

MATTRESS FACTORY. Feminist and.. New work by Julia Cahill, Betsy Damon, Parastou Forouhar, Loraine Leeson, Ayanah Moor, & Carrie Mae Weems. Ongoing Installations. Works by Turrell, Lutz, Kusama, Anastasi, Highstein, Wexler & Woodrow. North Side.

412-231-3169.

MILLER GALLERY AT CARNEGIE MELLON UNIVERSITY. Imperfect Health: The Medicalization of Architecture. Feat. photographs, sculpture, architectural models & drawings, that together examine the relationships between design & health.

Oakland. 412-268-4754.

MODERNFORMATIONS GALLERY. Healthy Artists Movie Poster Exhibition.

20 local artists compete to design a poster representing the Healthy Artists documentary series.

Garfield. 412-362-0274.

MONROEVILLE PUBLIC LIBRARY. Watercolors

by Phiris. Work by Phiris Katherine Sickels. Monroeville.

412-372-0500.

MORGAN CONTEMPORARY GLASS GALLERY. Cheers, Salute, L’chaim To The Next 50!

Group show feat. Ellen Abbott & Marc Leva, Alex Bernstein, Judi Charlson, more. Shadyside.

412-441-5200.

MOST-WANTED FINE ART GALLERY. Get Drawn.

Work by Sylvia K. & Sarina Meester. Garfield.

412-328-4737.

CONTINUES ON PG. 37

of women working together to provide for their families, educate their children, promote equality, & give back to their communities. BugWorks. Feat. beautiful photography of insects, amazing specimens, & live bugs!

Life: A Journey Through Time & Population Impact thru Jan., Winging It: Experimental Gallery About Birds thru March, Lord of the Crane Flies thru April.

Ongoing: Earth Revealed, Dinosaurs In Their Time, more.

Oakland. 412-622-3131.

CARNEGIE SCIENCE CENTER. Ongoing: Buhl Digital Dome (planetarium), Miniature Railroad and Village, USS Requin submarine, and more. North Side.

412-237-3400.

COMPASS INN. Demos and tours with costumed guides featuring this restored stagecoach stop.

Ligonier. 724-238-4983.

DEPRECIATION LANDS MUSEUM. Small living history museum celebrating the settlement and history of the Depreciation Lands. Allison Park.

412-486-0563.

FALLINGWATER. Tour the famed Frank Lloyd Wright house.

Ohiopyle. 724-329-8501.

FIRST PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH. Tours of 13 Tiffany stained-glass windows. Downtown.

412-471-3436.

FORT PITT MUSEUM. Reconstructed fort houses museum of Pittsburgh history circa French & Indian War and American Revolution. Downtown.

412-281-9285.

FRICK ART & HISTORICAL CENTER. Ongoing: tours of Clayton, the Frick estate, with classes, car & carriage museum.

Point Breeze. 412-371-0600.

HARTWOOD ACRES. Tour this Tudor mansion and stable complex, and enjoy hikes and outdoor activities in the surrounding park.

Allison Park. 412-767-9200.

KENTUCK KNOB. Tour the other Frank Lloyd Wright house. Chalk Hill. 724-329-8501.

KERR MEMORIAL MUSEUM. Tours of a restored 19th-century, middle-class home. Oakmont.

412-826-9295.

MCGINLEY HOUSE & MCCULLY LOG HOUSE. Historic homes open for tours, lectures and more.

Monroeville. 412-373-7794.

NATIONAL AVIARY. Home to more than 600 birds from over 200 species. With classes, lectures, demos and more. North Side.

412-323-7235.

NATIONALITY ROOMS. 26 rooms helping to tell the story of Pittsburgh’s immigrant past.

University of Pittsburgh. Oakland.

412-624-6000.

OLD ST. LUKE’S. Pioneer church features 1823 pipe organ, Revolutionary War graves. Scott.

412-851-9212.

OLIVER MILLER HOMESTEAD. This pioneer/Whiskey Rebellion site features log house, blacksmith shop & gardens.

South Park. 412-835-1554.

PENNSYLVANIA TROLLEY War industrial village. Scottdale.

MUSEUM. Trolley rides and 724-887-7910. exhibits. Includes displays, walking tours, gift shop, picnic area and Trolley Theatre. Washington.

724-228-9256.

PHIPPS CONSERVATORY BONEFISH GRILL CHARITY & BOTANICAL GARDEN. NIGHT. Full tasting menu. All Orchid & Tropical Bonsai Show. 14 proceeds benefit the United indoor rooms & 3 outdoor gardens Way of Allegheny County. 6 p.m. feature exotic plants and floral Bonefish Grill, Upper St. Clair. displays from around the world.

412-456-6831.

Oakland. 412-622-6914.

FUNDRAISERS FOR CUSTODY PHOTO ANTIQUITIES. Tintypes.

WAR CHEST. Rock Room, Polish Photographs on polished steel Hill. 412-683-4418. that brought the first lower-cost, PICTURE THIS! Feat. works by indestructible photos within price local photographers & Ward Home range of the average person. teens as they “picture” their North Side. 412-231-7881. future. Benefits Ward Home.

PINBALL PERFECTION. Pinball R.S.V.P. by January 4, 2013. museum & players club. West cturner@wardhome.org 6-9 p.m.

View. 412-931-4425.

Pittsburgh Center for the Arts, PITTSBURGH ZOO & PPG Shadyside. 412-722-1404 x 236.

AQUARIUM. Home to 4,000 animals, including many endangered TOUR OF GOWNS species. Highland Park.

CHARITY WEDDING 412-665-3639.

GOWN SALE. Benefits RACHEL CARSON Brides Against Breast HOMESTEAD. A Cancer. Free admission www. per a Reverence for Life. p on Jan. 13. Jan. 12-13 pghcitym .co Photos and artifacts of The Fez, Aliquippa. her life & work. Springdale.

1-877-721-4673.

724-274-5459.

RIVERS OF STEEL NATIONAL HERITAGE AREA. Exhibits BOOK ‘EM BOOKS TO on the Homestead Mill. Steel PRISONERS WORK PARTY. Read industry and community artifacts & code letters, pick books, pack ‘em from 1881-1986. Homestead. or database ‘em! Sundays 4-7 p.m.

412-464-4020. or by appt. Thomas Merton Center, SENATOR JOHN HEINZ Garfield. 412-361-3022.

HISTORY CENTER. From Slavery to Freedom. Highlight’s Pittsburgh’s role in the anti-slavery movement.

Ongoing: Western PA Sports Museum, Clash of Empires, and GERTRUDE STEIN POLITICAL exhibits on local history, more.

CLUB OF GREATER PITTSBURGH. Strip District. 412-454-6000.

Meetings of group devoted to SEWICKLEY HEIGHTS LGBT issues in electoral politics.

HISTORY CENTER. Museum Second Thu of every month, 7 p.m. commemorates Pittsburgh United Cerebral Palsy of Pittsburgh, industrialists, local history.

Oakland. 412-521-2504.

Sewickley. 412-741-4487.

SOCIETY FOR CONTEMPORARY CRAFT SATELLITE GALLERY. READY TO RUN: CAMPAIGN Badges & Buttons, Waistcoats & TRAINING FOR WOMEN. 8 a.m.Vests. Highlights badges by 20 5:45 p.m. Chatham University, makers from the US & the UK. Shadyside. 412-365-1878.

Downtown. 412-261-7003 x 12.

SOLDIERS & SAILORS MEMORIAL HALL. Military museum dedicated to honoring military service members since ENGLISH LEARNERS’ BOOK the Civil War through artifacts CLUB. For advanced ESL students. & personal mementos. Oakland.

Presented in cooperation w/ the 412-621-4253.

Greater Pittsburgh Literacy Council.

ST. ANTHONY’S CHAPEL. Thu, 1 p.m. Mount Lebanon Features 5,000 relics of Catholic Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. saints. North Side. 412-323-9504.

412-531-1912.

ST. NICHOLAS CROATIAN THE HOUR AFTER HAPPY CATHOLIC CHURCH. Maxo Vanka HOUR WRITER’S WORKSHOP. Murals. Mid-20th century murals Young writers & recent graduates depicting war, social justice and the looking for additional feedback immigrant experience in America. on their work. Thu The Big Idea Millvale. 421-681-0905.

Bookstore & Cafe, Bloomfield.

THE TOONSEUM. Pittsburgh 412-687-4323.

Scores! The Pro Scoreboard PITTSBURGH WRITES. Weekly Art of Kensington Falls Animation. writer’s workshop. Thu Crazy Animations feat. on the Jumbotron Mocha Coffee Company, Sewickley.

412-708-3312. at Pirates, Steelers & Penguin SPANISH CONVERSATION CLUB. games. Downtown. 412-232-0199.

Second and Fourth Thu of every WEST OVERTON MUSEUMS. month, 6 p.m. Carnegie Library, Learn about distilling and Oakland. 412-622-3151. coke-making in this pre-Civil

FRIDAY NIGHTS

FUNDRAISERS SAT 12

BAND NIGHT Every Thursday!

HEAVY LEATHER

10:30PM -2AM

JANUARY 17

SAT 12 - SUN 13

FULL LIST E N O LIN

VIDEO DJ’S

JANUARY 10

CORONADO

FRIDAY NIGHT

JANUARY 24

$3 Miller Lite 16oz Drafts

THE DRESSED FRETS

$3 Pinnacle Vodka Flavored Cocktails

$5 MARTINIS

SUN 13

$1.75 PBR Drafts Everyday 9-11

1060 Settlers Ridge Center Drive - Robinson Township

2204 E. CARSON ST. (412) 431-5282

CadillacRanchGroup.com

Find us on Facebook: Cadillac Ranch Pittsburgh

POLITICS THU 10

SAT 12

LITERARY THU 10

CONTINUES ON PG. 36

N E W S

+

TA S T E

+

M U S I C

+

S C R E E N

+

A R T S

+

E V E N T S

+

C L A S S I F I E D S

35

BIG LIST, CONTINUED FROM PG. 35

FRI 11

MISSING LINKS (THE RAINBOW JUMPY). Bounce, jump, roll, run & walk through a 30-foot inflatable “jumpy” art piece created by Felipe Dulzaides. On loan from The New Children’s Museum, San Diego CA. Thru Feb. 3 Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side.

412-322-5058.

CONVERSATION SALON. Second Fri of every month, 2 p.m. and Fourth Wed of every month, 1 p.m. Northland Public Library, McCandless. 412-366-8100.

LET’S READ ENGLISH. Book club for non-native English speakers.

Second Fri of every month, 2 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland.

412-622-3151.

OAKLAND OPEN MIC. WE’RE GOING ON A Poetry, music & political BEAR HUNT. Presented speeches welcome. by the Pittsburgh Second and Fourth Fri International Children’s of every month, 7 p.m.

Theater & KW & NB. www. per 610-731-1804. pa 7 p.m. Moon High pghcitym WRITERS’ OPEN MIC o .c School, Moon.

NIGHT. All genres of YO GABBA GABBA! LIVE! written/spoken word GET THE SILLIES OUT! 4 p.m. welcome. Second Fri of Benedum Center, Downtown. every month, 7-9 p.m. Reads 412-456-6666.

Ink Bookshop, Vandergrift.

724-567-7236.

[VISUAL ART]

FRI 11

FULL LIST ONLINE

ITE COUPLE’S Nn. 9 Wed. Ja NEXT: The Ultimate XXX Superstar:

Teagan Presley JANUARY 24-26 135 9th Street 412-281-7703 www.blushexotic.com DOWNTOWN PITTSBURGH

SAT 12

PITTSBURGH WRITERS PROJECT - ROUNDTABLE DISCUSSIONS. Second Sat of every month, 10 a.m.-12 p.m. Green Tree Public Library, Green Tree. 412-921-9292.

TUE 15

JAPANESE CONVERSATION CLUB. First and Third Tue of every month, 6 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151.

STEEL CITY POETRY SLAM. Third Tue of every month, 9 p.m.

Shadow Lounge, East Liberty.

412-363-8277.

WED 16

CARNEGIE KNITS & READS. Informal knitting session. Wed, 5 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland.

412-622-3116.

KIDSTUFF THU 10

WE’RE GOING ON A BEAR HUNT. Presented by the Pittsburgh International Children’s Theater & KW & NB. 5:30 & 7:30 p.m.

Marshall Middle School, Wexford.

724-934-6060.

THU 10 - SUN 13

TOUGH ART. Interactive artworks feat. John Pena, Scott Andrew, Jonathan Armistead, Jeremy Boyle, Kevin Clancy & Will Schlough. Thru Jan. 13 Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side.

412-322-5058.

THU 10 - WED 16

BACKYARD EXHIBIT. Musical swing set, sandbox, solar-powered instruments, more. Ongoing Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058.

CHARLIE & KIWI’S EVOLUTIONARY ADVENTURE. Join Charlie as he travels back to the Age of Dinosaurs to discover how evolution works. Feat. story theater & discovery area. Presented

by Commonwealth Connections Academy. Tue-Sun. Thru May 12 Carnegie Museum of Natural History, Oakland. 412-622-3131.

36

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.09./01.16.2013

FRI 11 - SUN 13

LITTLE MERMAID JR. FriSun. Thru Jan. 20 McKeesport Little Theater, McKeesport.

412-673-1100.

SAT 12

CELEBRATE! THE NEW YEAR. Learn about sustainability, holiday traditions & green living. Ages 4-9. 10 a.m. & 1 p.m.

Phipps Conservatory & Botanical Garden, Oakland. 412-441-4442 x 3925.

EAST LIBERTY COMMUNITY ENGAGEMENT ORCHESTRA. All levels of orchestra instruments are invited. Parents are invited to join & play w/ their children. Sat, 3-4:30 p.m.

Thru March 23 East Liberty Presbyterian Church, East Liberty.

412-441-3800 x 11.

OBSCURE GAMES: GAME ON! Zany family friendly activities.

1-3 p.m. Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side.

412-322-5058.

Andy Warhol was, famously, a pack rat. In 1974, he began filling cardboard boxes with letters, collectables, newspapers and nearly anything else you can imagine, leaving 600 “time capsules” when he died in 1987.

Friday, join The Andy Warhol Museum’s Time Capsules Cataloguers for OUT OF THE BOX, when they’ll open one of these boxes. There’s no telling what they’ll discover. 7 p.m. Fri., Jan 11. 117 Sandusky St., North Side.

Free with museum admission. 412-237-8300 or www.warhol.org

HUNT. Presented by the Pittsburgh International Children’s Theater & KW & NB. 2 p.m. Seneca Valley Senior High School, Harmony.

MON 14

WINTER LITTLE SPROUTS: MY FIRST GARDEN. Sing songs, read stories & pot plants to take home. Ages 2-3 w/ an adult. Mon, 10:30 a.m.-12 p.m. Thru Jan. 28 Phipps Conservatory & Botanical Garden, Oakland. 412-441-4442 x 3925.

[VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITY]

MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. DAY OF SERVICE On Jan. 21, Habitat for Humanity of Greater Pittsburgh hosts the second annual Martin Luther King Jr. Day of Service. Volunteers are needed for projects with more than 20 local organizations, including Meals on Wheels, the Animal Rescue League and Habitat for Humanity ReStore. For a full list, or to sign up, visit mlkpgh.eventbrite.com.

WE’RE GOING ON A BEAR HUNT. Presented by the Pittsburgh International Children’s Theater & KW & NB. 11 a.m. & 2 p.m.

Upper St. Clair High School, Upper St. Clair.

SAT 12 - SUN 13

TARZAN & JANE. Sat, Sun. Thru Feb. 3 Gemini Theater, Point Breeze. 412-243-6464.

SUN 13

WE’RE GOING ON A BEAR

TUE 15

WINTER SINGALONG W/ BETSY & PALS. 12 p.m.

Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058.

WED 16

LEARNING PARTY: MAPPING. Hands-on activities led by local makers, scientists, artists, & technologists.

4:30-7:30 p.m. Assemble, Garfield.

OUTSIDE FRI 11

WISE WALK. 1-mile walk around Oakland. Fri, 10:30 a.m. Thru Jan. 25 Carnegie Library, Oakland.

412-622-3151.

SAT 12

STEP INTO SNOWSHOES. Snowshoeing/skiing every Sat. w/ at least 4” of snow on the ground. Call Friday to confirm.

Sat. Thru March 30 Jennings Environmental Center, Slippery Rock. 724-794-6011.

THREE RIVERS THUNDER DRUM CIRCLE. Flagstaff Hill. Sat, 3 p.m. Schenley Park, Oakland.

412-255-2539.

TUE 15

SURVIVAL BASICS. Tue, 3-4:30 p.m. Schenley Park, Oakland. 412-477-4677.

WED 16

WEDNESDAY MORNING WALK. Naturalist-led, rain or shine. Wed Beechwood Farms, Fox Chapel.

412-963-6100.

OTHER STUFF THU 10

CHINESE CONVERSATION CLUB. Second Thu of every month, 6-7 p.m. and Fourth Thu of every month Carnegie Library, Oakland.

412-622-3116.

CITY DHARMA. Soto Zen Meditation. jisen@deepspringzen. org Thu, 6:30-8:15 p.m. Church of the Redeemer, Squirrel Hill.

A GARDEN PRIMER. Beginners vegetable gardening workshop.

Presented by Grow Pittsburgh. Thu, 7-9 p.m. Thru Jan. 24 East Liberty Presbyterian Church, East Liberty.

412-362-4769 x 102.

INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S ASSOCIATION OF PITTSBURGH. Social, cultural club of American/ international women. Thu First Baptist Church, Oakland. iwap. pittsburgh@gmail.com.

MEDITATION & WHOLE LIFE TRANSFORMATION. Supreme Meditation & the Science of Transformation w/ Acharya Kedar. Free public program.

Doors open at 7:15, seating ends at 8 p.m. Winchester Thurston, Upper School, Shadyside.

724-420-5826.

MEET ‘N MAKE. Open crafting night. Second Thu of every month, 6-8 p.m. Pittsburgh Center for Creative Reuse, Homewood.

412-473-0100.

PFLAG BUTLER. Support, education & advocacy for the LGBTQ community, family & friends. Second Thu of every month, 7 p.m. Covenant Presbyterian Church, Butler.

412-518-1515.

PUSHING LIMITS: THE LIVING BUILDING CHALLENGE. feat. guests from the Bertschi School Project Team (Seattle) & Phipps’ Center for Sustainable Landscapes. Inspire Speakers Series. 5:30-8:30 p.m. Phipps Conservatory & Botanical Garden, Oakland. 412-441-4442.

RENAISSANCE DANCE GUILD. Learn a variety of dances from the 15-17th centuries. Porter Hall, Room A18A. Thu, 8 p.m. Carnegie Mellon University, Oakland.

412-567-7512.

WEST COAST SWING. Swing dance lessons for all levels. Thu, 7 p.m. Pittsburgh Dance Center, Bloomfield. 412-681-0111.

FRI 11

ART ON TAP 5.2.7. Happy hour, live music, scavenger hunts, more.

Second Fri of every month, 5-7 p.m.

Thru Feb. 8 Westmoreland Museum of American Art, Greensburg. 724-837-1500.

CALVIN SINGLES DANCE. Second Fri of every month, 7-11 p.m. Calvin Presbyterian Church, Zelienople.

724-452-7560.

LUBE IDOL. American Idol-style singing contest. Fri, 10 p.m. Thru Jan. 18 Quaker Steak & Lube, Cranberry. 724-778-9464.

MUSIC 101: GIANANDREA NOSEDA, CONDUCTOR. Lecture & performance. 1 p.m. Heinz Hall, Downtown. 412-392-4900.

OUT OF THE BOX: TIME CAPSULE OPENING W/ TIME CAPSULE CATALOGUERS. Lecture & first look inside one of Warhol’s unopened boxes. 7 p.m.

Andy Warhol Museum, North Side.

412-237-8300.

SAT 12

AFTERNOON TEA DANCE. English country dancing. 1:304 p.m. Friends Meeting House, Oakland. 412-535-2078.

CHILI COOK-OFF COMPETITION.

VISUAL ART THE MR. ROBOTO PROJECT. Kodachrome Works. Work by Sam Ditch. Bloomfield.

OLD ECONOMY VILLAGE. Faces & Places: Photographs of Old Economy. Never before seen photography from the late 19th & early 20th centuries. Ambridge.

724-266-4500.

PHOTO ANTIQUITIES. The History of Photography.

Plus preservation and education exhibits.

Shantytown - The Ed Salamony Photographs.

Experience the Depression in Pittsburgh’s shantytown through this historic photographic documentary.

North Side. 412-231-7881.

PICTURESQUE PHOTOGRAPHY & GIFTS. Photography by Brenda Knoll. Lawrenceville.

412-688-0240.

PITTSBURGH CENTER FOR THE ARTS. White Show: Subtlety in the Age of Spectacle. Group show feat. Jaq Belcher, David Burke, Ellen Carey, Mark Franchino, Jane Haskell, Marietta Hoferer, more.

Romancing the Tone. Group show feat. Lenka Clayton, Corey Escoto, Rachel E Foster, David Leggett, Rebecca Mir & Sayward Schoonmaker.

Sample chili & enjoy music by Broke, Stranded & Ugly. 12-3 p.m.

Whole Foods Wexford, Wexford.

724-940-6100.

KOREAN FOR BEGINNERS. Korean grammar & basic conversation. Sat, 1 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151.

KOREAN II. For those who already have a basic understanding of Korean & are interested in increasing proficiency.

Sat Carnegie Library, Oakland.

412-622-3151.

OPEN CERAMICS STUDIO. Produce bowls to donate to Just Harvest’s Empty Bowls fundraiser.

10:30 a.m. & 2 p.m. Sweetwater Center for the Arts, Sewickley.

412-741-4405.

SATURDAY NIGHT SALSA CRAZE. Free lessons, followed by dancing. Sat, 10 p.m. La Cucina Flegrea, Downtown. 412-708-8844.

SCOTTISH COUNTRY DANCING. Lessons 7-8 p.m., social dancing follows. No partner needed.

Mon, 7 p.m. and Sat, 7 p.m. Grace Episcopal Church, Mt. Washington.

412-683-5670.

SECOND SATURDAY AT THE SPINNING PLATE. Art exhibits w/ various musical, literary & artistic performances. Second Sat of every month Spinning Plate Gallery, Friendship. 412-441-0194.

SPANISH CONVERSATION GROUP. Friendly, informal. At the Starbucks inside Target. Sat, 3:30-5:30 p.m. Target - East Liberty,

CONTINUED FROM PG. 34

Small Step Giant Leap. Group show feat. members of the Keystone West artist collective.

Shadyside. 412-361-0873.

PITTSBURGH GLASS CENTER. American Idols.

Exhibition by John Moran feat. glass busts of all 43 U.S. presidents. Friendship.

412-365-2145.

THE SOCIETY FOR CONTEMPORARY CRAFT. Bridge 12. Work by Melissa Cameron, Betty Vera, & Kevin Snipes. Strip District.

412-261-7003 x 12.

SOUTHERN ALLEGHENIES MUSEUM OF ART. Red, White & Blue in Black and White: The American Scene in Prints, Drawings & Photographs.

35-some works on paper from the museum’s collection, from photographs to lithographs.

Ligonier. 724-238-6015.

SPACE. Romper Room. Work

by Jae Roberto, Jacob Ciocci, Jim Lingo, Jen Cooney, Matt Barton & Thad Kellstadt.

Curated by Ladyboy.

Downtown. 412-325-7723.

WESTMORELAND MUSEUM OF AMERICAN ART. Your Art Needs You. 177 faded or damaged works which visitors can adopt, funding restoration. Born of Fire: The Valley Work. Greensburg.

724-837-1500.

East Liberty. 412-362-6108.

SWING CITY. Learn & practice swing dancing skills. Sat, 8 p.m.

Wightman School, Squirrel Hill.

412-759-1569.

SUN 13

AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL HUMAN RIGHTS CAFE. Weekly letter writing event. Sun, 4-6 p.m. Panera Bread, Oakland.

412-683-3727.

ARABIC FOR BEGINNERS. Second and Third Sun of every month Carnegie Library, Oakland.

412-622-3151.

FROM PLANNING TO CANNING GARDENING CLASS. Fourth and Second Sun of every month Pittsburgh Public Market, Strip District. 412-281-4505.

GLASS FLOWER WORKSHOP. Call for time slot. Vessel Studio Glass, South Side. 412-779-2471.

HIM: A MENSWEAR RUNWAY FASHION SHOW. Conceived & produced by fashion critic LaMont Jones. 3 p.m. Diesel, South Side.

412-431-8800.

+

TA S T E

+

UNCLE BUCKLES BAR & GRILLE

5060 William Penn Hwy, Monroeville, PA 15146

1095 Unity Center Rd., Plum, PA 15239

RICKS SPORTS BAR & GRILLE

BREWSTONE BEER COMPANY

5400 William Penn Hwy, Export, PA 15632

3466 William Penn Hwy, Pittsburgh, PA 15235

McKinney Law Compassionate. Tested. Aggressive.

• PERSONAL INJURY • AUTO ACCIDENTS • DUI • CRIMINAL DEFENSE • IMMIGRATION • MEDICAL MALPRACTICE • EMPLOYMENT DISCRIMINATION • SOCIAL SECURITY DISABILITY/BENEFITS

MON 14

ARRANGING W/ THE SEASONS. Learn about locally available flowers & create an arrangement from what is in season. 7-9 p.m.

Phipps Garden Center, Shadyside.

412-441-4442 x 3925.

THE DEN. Second and Fourth Mon of every month Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151.

CONTINUES ON PG. 38

N E W S

Proudly oud y Se Served ed d At: t

BELLA LUNA TRATTORIA

M U S I C

+

S C R E E N

Randall H. McKinney The Allegheny Building 429 Forbes Ave, Suite 1400 +

A R T S

+

E V E N T S

412-390-4531 randallmckinneylaw.com +

C L A S S I F I E D S

37

BIG LIST, CONTINUED FROM PG. 37

make a real connection Call Livelinks.

The hottest place to meet the coolest people.

SCOTTISH COUNTRY DANCING. Lessons 7-8 p.m., social dancing follows. No partner needed.

Mon, 7 p.m. and Sat, 7 p.m. Grace Episcopal Church, Mt. Washington.

412-683-5670.

SPELLING BEE WITH DAVE AND KUMAR. Mon Lava Lounge, South Side. 412-431-5282.

MON 14 - WED 16

PITTSBURGH RESTAURANT WEEK. Highlighting diverse dining options to the greater Pittsburgh region. Visit http://pittsburgh restaurantweek.com/ for more info. Jan. 14-20 412-586-4727.

TUE 15

JANUARY NAWBO MIXER. 4:30-6:30 p.m. Marty’s Market, Strip District. 412-854-4827.

KNOW THE SHOW BEFORE YOU GO: LES MISERABLES. Pre-performance information session w/ theater critic, Chris Rawson. 6:30 p.m. Trust Arts Education Center, Downtown.

412-456-6666.

WED 16

Try it Free!

412.566.1861 Ahora en Español 18+

www.livelinks.com

CONSERVATION STATION: TEXTILES. w/ Brenda Applegate.

12 p.m. Westmoreland Museum of American Art, Greensburg.

724-837-1500.

LET’S SPEAK ENGLISH! Practice conversational English. Wed, 5 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland.

412-622-3151.

OBSCURE GAME NIGHT. Wed.

[POLITICS] Thru Jan. 16 Hambone’s, Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318.

THE PITTSBURGH SHOW OFFS. A meeting of jugglers & spinners.

All levels welcome. Wed, 7:30 p.m.

Union Project, Highland Park.

412-363-4550.

SPANISH II. Geared toward those who already have a basic understanding of Spanish & are interested in increasing proficiency.

First and Third Wed of every month Carnegie Library, Oakland.

412-622-3151.

WEST COAST SWING WEDNESDAYS. Swing dance lessons. Wed, 9 p.m. The Library, South Side. 916-287-1373.

AUDITIONS ATL-NYC PRODUCTIONS.

This Saturday, the Pennsylvania Center for Women and Politics hosts Ready to Run: Campaign Training for Women, a bipartisan program for women interested in stepping into the political arena.

PCWP Executive Director Dana Brown discussed the event, which features local and national experts and politicians.

Auditions for new TV show, I Want To Be Discovered. Log onto www. iwant2bdiscoveredonline.com & post video of group or individual talent. 3 minutes max.

THE BOBCAT PLAYERS. Auditions WHAT HAPPENS AT READY TO RUN? for their 2013 season. Jan 12, 17, & The goal is to demystify the political process and make it 19. Plays include “Bus Stop,” “Old more accessible for women. So we work on educating, Love,” “There Goes the Bride,” as well as inspiring women to take their seat at the table.

“Broadway Bound,” & “Love Loss and What I Wore.” For information & scheduling appointments, call WHY IS IT IMPORTANT FOR WOMEN TO RUN for visit www.bobcatplayers.com.

FOR OFFICE? 412-953-0237.

Social-science research indicates that we want to have CARNEGIE PERFORMING ARTS about a 30 percent threshold of women at the table.

CENTER. Auditions for Snow That’s when we start to see an increase in transparency.

White ballet. Jan. 19. Ages 5+.

Cooperation increases. The policy questions being addressed Auditions for Cinderella. Feb. 9. are more diverse. [The government becomes] a bit more Ages 5+, call for time slot & representative of who we are as a populace. more information. Carnegie.

412-279-8887.

8 a.m.-5:45 p.m. Sat., Jan. 12. Chatham University, GEMINI THEATER COMPANY. 10 Woodland Road, Shadyside. $65. Call 412-365-1878 or Auditions for Rapunzel. Jan. 14-15. Casting adult & student roles visit www.chatham.edu/pcwp. ages 10+. Call for appointment. www.geminitheater.org Gemini Theater, Point Breeze.

Seeking various types of poetry.

THE TALENT GROUP. Open 412-243-6464. wewuvpoetry@hotmail.com casting for models and actors 1st KEAN THEATRE. Kean Quest Monday of every month. 11:45 SAINT VINCENT COLLEGE’S Talent Search Vocal Competition AM, 5:45 PM. 412-471-8011.

CENTER FOR POLITICAL & is accepting registrations. All ages.

ECONOMIC THOUGHT. Seeking http://www.keantheatre.com/ submissions to the Douglas B. Gibsonia. 724-443-0800 x 5310.

DIGITAL FILM COMPETITION. Rogers Conditions of a Free Society LATSHAW PRODUCTIONS. Competition for middle and high Essay Competition. Open to Auditions for fall & Christmas school students on the impact full-time undergrad students in traveling orchestra shows. of STEM (science, technology, any field at any 4-year college or Ongoing. Male/female singers engineering & math) in their lives. university in the US or Canada. & dancers. 412-728-2193.

Presented in partnership with MCCAFFERY MYSTERIES. www.stvincent.edu/cpet/ for info.

Pittsburgh Filmmakers. Visit www.

Ongoing auditions for actors ages SIGNIFICANT & SUBLIME: scitechfestival.org/film for info.

18+ for murder mystery shows THE CRITICAL ROLE OF GALLERY FLYNN. Seeking performed in the Pittsburgh ART TEACHERS IN PUBLIC work by film & visual artists area. 412-833-5056.

EDUCATION. Seeking paintings, to display in new gallery.

NEW CASTLE drawings, photography, sculpture, McKees Rocks.

PLAYHOUSE. prints, & mixed media by current 412-969-2990.

Auditions for 9 to 5 public school art teachers. Submit INDEPENDENT FILM The Musical. Jan. 14-15.

3-5 JPEG images, artist statement www. per NIGHT. Submit your Men/women age 18+, & questions to: significantand pa pghcitym fi lm, 10 minutes or less.

2-min. selection showing o sublime@gmail.com Panza Gallery, .c Screenings held on the vocal range, bring sheet Millvale. 412-821-0959. second Thursday of every music. New Castle.

WESTMORELAND MUSEUM month. DV8 Espresso Bar & Gallery, 724-654-3437.

OF AMERICAN ART. Seeking Greensburg. 724-219-0804.

SCHOOL OF AMERICAN individual artists & artist groups NEW SLANG LITERARY BALLET. Auditions for 2013 for month-long exhibitions in a MAGAZINE FOR WOMEN AND Summer Course. Jan. 13. new transitional gallery measuring.

GIRLS IN PITTSBURGH. Literary Intermediate & advanced ballet Artists will be responsible for all magazine supported by The students, aged 12-18 as of July aspects of their exhibition. Send Women and Girls Foundation.

31, 2013. Students should bring images & a brief introduction Taking submissions of creative a copy of their birth certificate to their work to: bljones@ writing, visual art, photographs, & girls must bring pointe shoes. wmuseumaa.org w/ a cc: to and essays from women and girls http://www.sab.org/summercourse jotoole@wmuseumaa.org & of all ages. www.new-slang.org Point Park University, Downtown. jmcgarry@wmuseumaa.org.

THE POET BAND COMPANY. 412-392-6131.

Greensburg. 724-837-1500.

SUBMISSIONS

FULL LIST ONLINE

$2 WELL DRINKS 10PM - MIDNIGHT

2-4-1 LAP DANCES

38

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.09./01.16.2013

{BY DAN SAVAGE}

I’m a straight male. I love women, I’ve always loved women. However, here and there I’ve jerked off to transsexual porn.

One night, after drinking and smoking some hash, I arranged a date with a trans sex worker. She was totally womanly, nothing manly about her, except for, you know. She licked my butt, gave me head, and fingered me. I’ve been on the receiving end of anal play before from girls, but somewhere during this encounter, I became the receiving partner during anal sex. At the time, I was too fucked up to care. But the next day, I started to feel REALLY bad. She was very safe and used condoms, but I can’t get past the fact that I did the gayest thing a guy can do. I feel really depressed, even somewhat suicidal. (I would never kill myself — I wouldn’t do that to my family and friends.) I still want to date women and have sex with women. I don’t regret being with a trans woman because I wanted to experiment.

I’ve been tested to make sure I didn’t catch anything. What I regret is her sticking her thing in my butt. Can a single act like this make me gay?

and lived together, everything was “we” this or that, and there were various PDA pairings during the day. Several questions: (1) What do gay people call such a union?

(2) Does the gay community think it’s odd?

Unremarkable? Sensible? (3) How does a union like that form? A couple adds a third? (4) Do these relationships last?

THREE-WAY RELATIONSHIP INTRIGUES OBLIVIOUS STRAIGHTS

1. Such unions are referred to as “throuples” by gays and straights. For a picture of the inner workings of a gay throuple, check out Molly Young’s profile of one in New York magazine’s most recent “Sex Issue.” Benny, Jason and Adrian are the men behind the popular “gipster” porn site CockyBoys.com; you can read Young’s piece about their lives at tinyurl.com/ gaythrup.

2. Some gay people think throuples are odd, some think they’re unremarkable, and some think they’re sensible. And some gay people — dumb ones — think gay throuples are bad PR when gay couples are fighting for the right to marry. But our fight is for equal rights, not double standards, and no one argues that straight marriage should be banned because of all the straight throuples, quadles, quintles, etc. out there.

3. In my experience, yes, that’s usually how it happens.

4. Throupledom presents unique challenges.

Major decisions require buy-in from three people, two can gang up against one during arguments, etc. But throupledom presents unique benefits, too: another set of hands to help around the house, another income to pay the mortgage, another smiling face to sit on, etc. And it’s not like coupledom is a surefire recipe for success. Half of all traditional marriages end in divorce. Yet discussions of throupledom all seem to begin with the assumption that coupledom is self-evidently more stable.

I’d like to see some research before I accept that premise.

Cri ckuent ge Lo

Pittsburgh’s Best and Oakland’s Only Strip Club on the corner of Baum and Morewood

Monday: $2 Coors Light 9-11pm Tuesday: All Domestic Bottles $3 Until Midnight Wednesday: $2 Miller Lite All Night Thursday: $3 Well Drinks 9-11pm Friday: Ladies Night, No Cover For Ladies Saturday: Ladies Night, No Cover for Ladies, $2 Domestic Bottles until 9pm, $4 Jager Bombs All Night

Looking for Independent Dancers ATM on Site VIP Area for Private Dances

www.cricketdancers.com

Savage Love

280 Morewood Avenue Pittsburgh, PA 15213 412-683-9000

YOU DID THE GAYEST THING A GUY CAN DO, BUT THAT DIDN’T MAKE YOU GAY.

WRONG SIDE OF WILD SIDE

Give yourself a break. Yes, yes: You did the gayest thing a guy can do — you let someone put a dick in your manbutt. But now you’re doing the second-gayest thing a guy can do. You’re being a huge drama queen. Repeat after me: One dick in the ass does not a gay man make.

Look at it this way: If the woman’s finger was fine — to say nothing of the woman’s tongue — why freak out about the woman’s dick? You don’t sleep with men, you’re not attracted to men. You made an exception for this woman’s dick because it’s attached to a woman.

Fortunately, your sex worker was responsible and used condoms. So you didn’t emerge from this encounter with anything more devastating than a touch of gay panic. Be a man about this — be a straight man about this — and walk it off, as the football coaches say.

Maybe this will help: Like a lot of gay men, I had sex with a woman before I came out. I did the straightest thing a guy can do, and it didn’t make me straight. You did the gayest thing a guy can do, but that didn’t make you gay.

If nothing I’ve said has made you feel better, maybe this will: Wanting to be with a woman who has a dick is an almost exclusively straight male kink/obsession/wild side. Gay men are into dick, of course, but what we’re really into is dudes. There are gay men out there who date and fuck trans men — men with pussies — so not all gay men are after dick. What we’re all after is dude.

If our gayness can’t be defined solely by dick, then your straightness can’t be undone entirely by it.

I’m a married straight man. I recently spent a lovely day snorkeling with my wife in Mexico. We were grouped with three men who were obviously in a committed three-person relationship. They had an extensive travel history together

I recently used the term “saddlebacking” to indicate when a man rubs his penis between his partner’s ass cheeks as either foreplay or nonintercourse sex. My girlfriend, a regular reader of yours, insists that I used the term incorrectly. Did I? RUBBED THE WRONG WAY

You did. “Saddlebacking,” as defined by Savage Love readers (the Académie Française of sexual neologisms), is when two straight teen-agers, endeavoring to preserve an evangelical girl’s virginity, engage in anal intercourse. This really happens. Since anal sex isn’t really sex, according to the abstinence educators evangelical teens are exposed to, many Christian teen-agers rationalize that getting fucked in the ass doesn’t really count against a girl’s virginity.

The act to which you refer — rubbing your penis between someone’s ass cheeks — is known variously as frottage, outercourse, the Princeton Rub or “the pearl tramp stamp.” But in Chicago, it’s known as “the Cardinal George.”

SEND IN YOUR QUESTIONS TO MAIL@SAVAGELOVE.NET AND FIND THE SAVAGE LOVECAST (DAN’S WEEKLY PODCAST) AT THESTRANGER.COM/SAVAGE

N E W S

+

TA S T E

+

M U S I C

+

S C R E E N

+

A R T S

+

E V E N T S

+

C L A S S I F I E D S

39

FOR THE WEEK OF

Free Will Astrology

01.09-01.16

{BY ROB BREZSNY}

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): What does it mean when the dwarf planet Pluto impacts a key point in your horoscope? For Capricorn gymnast Gabby Douglas, it seemed to be profoundly empowering. During the time Pluto was close to her natal sun during last year’s Summer Olympics, she won two gold medals, one with her team and one by herself. Luck had very little to do with her triumph. Hard work, self-discipline and persistence were key factors. I’m predicting that Pluto’s long cruise through the sign of Capricorn will give you an opportunity to earn a Gabby Douglas-like achievement in your own sphere — if, that is, you can summon the same level of willpower and determination that she did. Now would be an excellent time to formally commit yourself to the glorious cause that excites you the most.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):

“Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘nice doggie’ until you can find a rock,” said humorist Will Rogers. I hope you’ve been taking care of the “nice doggie” part, Aquarius — holding the adversarial forces and questionable influences at bay. As for the rock: I predict you will find it any minute now, perhaps even within an hour of reading this horoscope. Please keep in mind that you won’t necessarily have to throw the rock for it to serve its purpose. Merely brandishing it should be enough.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):

Do you know the word “cahoots”? Strictly speaking, it means to be in league with allies who have the same intentions as you do; to scheme and dream with confederates whose interests overlap with yours. Let’s expand that definition a little further and make it one of your central themes in the coming week. For your purposes, “cahoots” will signify the following: to conspire with like-minded companions as you cook up some healthy mischief or whip up an interesting commotion or instigate a benevolent ruckus.

ARIES (March 21-April 19):

Writing at io9.com, Charlie Jane Anders provides “10 Signs You Could Be the Chosen Savior.” Among the clues are the following: 1. “How often does someone come up to you on the street, point at you, gibber something inarticulate and run away?” 2. “How many robot/clone duplicates of yourself have you come across?” 3. “Is there a blurry black-andwhite photo or drawing from history that sort of looks like you?” 4. “Have you achieved weird feats that nobody could explain, but which nobody else witnessed?” Now would be a good time for you to take this test, Aries. You’re in a phase of your astrological cycle when your dormant superpowers may finally be awakening — a time when you might need to finally claim a role you’ve previously been unready for. (Read Anders’ article here: http:// tinyurl.com/AreYouChosen.)

TAURUS (April 20-May 20):

“Dear Rob the Astrologer: I have a big question for you. If I could get access to a time machine, where

would you suggest I should go? Is there a way to calculate the time and place where I could enjoy favorable astrological connections that would bring out the best in me? —Curious Taurus.”

Dear Curious: Here are some locations that might be a good fit for you Tauruses right now: Athens, Greece in 459 B.C.; Constantinople in 1179; Florence, Italy in 1489; New York in 2037.

In general, you would thrive wherever there are lots of bright people co-creating a lively culture that offers maximum stimulation. You need to have your certainties challenged and your mind expanded and your sense of wonder piqued.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20):

Will archaeologists find definitive evidence of the magical lost continent of Atlantis in 2013?

Probably not. How about Shambhala, the mythical kingdom in Central Asia where the planet’s greatest spiritual masters are said to live? Any chance it will be discovered by Indiana Jonesstyle fortune hunters? Again, not likely. But I do think there’s a decent chance that sometime in the next seven months, many of you Geminis will discover places, situations and circumstances that will be, for all intents and purposes, magical and mythical.

CANCER (June 21-July 22):

There’s a spot in the country of Panama where you can watch the sun rise in the east over the Pacific Ocean. In another Panamanian location, you can see the sun set in the west over the Atlantic Ocean. N othing weird is involved. N othing twisted or unearthly. It’s simply a quirk of geography. I suspect that a similar situation will be at work in your life sometime soon. Things may seem out of place. Your sense of direction might be off-kilter, and even your intuition could seem to be playing tricks on you. But don’t worry. Have no fear. Life is simply asking you to expand your understanding of what “natural” and “normal” are.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22):

Metaphorically speaking, a pebble was in your shoe the whole past week. You kept thinking, “Pretty soon I’ve got to take a minute to get rid of that thing,” and yet you never did. Why is that? While it wasn’t enormously painful, it

distracted you just enough to keep you from giving your undivided attention to the important tasks at hand. Now here’s a news flash: The damn pebble is still in your shoe. Can I persuade you to remove it? Please?

APPOINTMENTS AVAILABLE

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):

Even when you know exactly what you want, it’s sometimes crucial for you not to accomplish it too fast. It may be that you need to mature more before you’re ready to handle your success. It could be that if you got all of your heart’s desire too quickly and easily, you wouldn’t develop the vigorous willpower that the quest was meant to help you forge. The importance of good timing can’t be underestimated, either: In order for you to take full advantage of your dream-come-true, many other factors in your life have to be in place and arranged just so.

With those thoughts in mind, Virgo, I offer you this prediction for 2013: A benevolent version of a perfect storm is headed your way.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):

Artists who painted images in caves 30,000 years ago did a pretty good job of depicting the movements of four-legged animals like horses.

In fact, they were more skilled than today’s artists. Even the modern experts who illustrate animal anatomy textbooks don’t match the accuracy of the people who decorated cave walls millennia ago. So says a study reported in Livescience.com (http://tinyurl.com/CaveArtMagic).

I’d like to suggest this is a useful metaphor for you to consider, Libra. There’s some important task that the old you did better than the new you does. Now would be an excellent time to recapture the lost magic.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):

After evaluating your astrological omens for the coming months, I’ve decided to name you Scorpios the “Top Sinners of the Year” for 2013.

What that means is that I suspect your vices will be more inventive and more charming than those of all the other signs. Your so-called violations may have the effect of healing some debilitating habit. In fact, your “sins” may not be immoral or wicked at all. They might actually be beautiful transgressions that creatively transcend the status quo; they might be imaginative improvements on the half-assed way that things have always been done. To ensure you’re always being ethical in your outlaw behavior, be committed to serving the greater good at least as much as your own selfish interests.

+

TA S T E

+

M U S I C

+

NOW HIRING Part Time Counselors for Afternoon/Evening Hours jobs@freedomtreatment.com • MOST INSURANCES ACCEPTED UPMC4U/GATEWAY/HIGHMARK/UPMC • NOW ACCEPTING ALLEGHENY COUNTY MEDICAL ASSISTANCE PATIENTS CLOSE TO SOUTH HILLS, WASHINGTON, CANONSBURG, CARNEGIE, AND BRIDGEVILLE

412-221-1091 FREEDOMTREATMENT.COM

m ur & ers 7p Ho fts tiz 5 py ra e p D pp Ha Off e A c $2 Pri 2 1/

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):

DELIGHT

Here’s the horoscope I hope to be able to write for you a year from now: “Your mind just kept opening further and further during these past 12 months, Sagittarius — way beyond what I ever imagined possible. Congrats! Even as you made yourself more innocent and receptive than you’ve been in a long time, you were constantly getting smarter and sharpening your ability to see the raw truth of what was unfolding. Illusions and misleading fantasies did not appeal to you. Again, kudos!”

To check out my three-part audio forecasts of your destiny in 2013, go to http://tinyurl.com/ BigPicture2013.

Pittsburgh’s only Peanut Butter Burger!

GO TO REALASTROLOGY.COM TO CHECK OUT ROB BREZSNY’S EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES AND DAILY TEXT-MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. THE AUDIO HOROSCOPES ARE ALSO AVAILABLE BY PHONE AT 1-877-873-4888 OR 1-900-950-7700

N E W S

SUBOXONE TREATMENT

S C R E E N

+

A R T S

2518 East Carson St. South Side www.otbbicyclecafe.com - 412.381.3698 +

E V E N T S

+

C L A S S I F I E D S

41

FOR INFORMATION ON HOW TO PLACE A CLASSIFIEDS ADVERTISEMENT, CALL 412.316.3342 EXT. 189

WORK 42 + STUDIES 42 + LIVE 42 + SERVICES 44 + WELLESS 45

WORK HELP WANTED

HELP WANTED

$$$HELP WANTED$$$ Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operators Now! 1-800405-7619 EXT 2450 http://www.easyworkgreatpay.com (AAN CAN)

HELP WANTED!!!

MAKE $1000 A WEEK mailing brochures from home!

FREE Supplies! Helping Home Workers since 2001! Genuine Opportunity! No Experience required. Start Immediately! www. mailing-usa.com (AAN CAN)

WANTED! 36 PEOPLE to Lose Weight. 30-day money back guarantee. Herbal Program.

Also opportunity to earn up to $1,000 monthly. 1-800-492-4437

www.healthnutrition pittsburgh.com

NAMASTE! Find a healthy balance of the mind, body and spirit with one of our massage therapists, yoga, or spa businesses!

Act 235 Courses Feb. 23, 24, 28; Mar. 1, 2 Apr 20, 21, 25, 26, 27 Renewal Classes: Feb. 28 and Apr. 25 Brodhead Rd Location Mar. 16, 17, 21, 22, 23 Renewal Classes: Mar. 21 Doubletree by Hilton Greentree

Pittsburgh City Paper offers a competitive wage and incentive package, medical, and 401K. If you are looking for a challenging and rewarding career opportunity please forward your resume to Andrea James Classified Advertising Manager.

Email: andreaj@steelcitymedia.com FAX: 412-316-3388

State Police Approval Letter Required

FOR ONE

Pittsburgh City Paper is an equal opportunity employer

DAY!

Beautiful 1st-flr apt in a 3-family hse on Bartlett St in Sq Hill avl immediately. $925/mo + gas + electric. Incl. w/ d dishwasher. This will be a sublease through July 2013, with option to take over lease in August. Call (412) 5438610 or email gardellawg@gmail.com.

ABC SELF STORAGE5x10 $45, 10x10 $65, 10x15 $95. (2) locations Mckees Rocks & South Side. 412-403-6069

CLINICAL STUDIES Looking to hire a qualified employee?

Don’t waste time, call 412.316.3342 to place an Employment Classified ad in Pittsburgh City Paper.

Registration Necessary TWO WEEKS Prior to the First Day of Class

PAY

MOVING SERVICES

Advertise here today!

ROOMMATES ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http:// www.Roommates.com.

(AAN CAN)

STUDIES

724-728-8029 3645 Brodhead Rd Monaca, PA 15061

GREAT

EAST FOR RENT

Looking to fill an open position? Advertise in City Paper’s “WORK” section and reach over 250,000 people who read CP classifieds!

www.lethalweapons.state.pa.us

Classified Advertising Representative The Pittsburgh City Paper is currently seeking qualified candidates for a FULL TIME inside sales position. Previous web sales/inside sales experience is preferred.

LIVE

ARMOR SECURITY TRAINING INSTITUTE

Drivers WANTED

412.363.1900 CTRS

DIABETES?

Must have a full-size truck/van.

CONTACT >> 412.316.3342 x173 JIM for an application

DIARRHEA? CALL TODAY!

412.363.1900 CTRS

ENDOMETRIOSIS? MENSTRUAL CRAMPS? CALL TODAY!

Pittsburgh City Paper needs friendly drivers to work (early morning hours) to distribute the paper in the Downtown Pittsburgh area. Interested candidates must have a clean DMV history and current proof of insurance. Regular lifting of up to 50 lbs is required. Heavy, bulk retail delivery to CP sites weekly.

CLINICAL STUDIES

CALL TODAY!

412.363.1900 CTRS

CALL TODAY!

412.363.1900 CTRS

ASTHMA? Call Preferred Primary Care Physicians at

412-650-6155

DISCLAIMER: ALTHOUGH MOST ADVERTISING IN PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER ARE LEGITIMATE BUSINESSES, PRIOR TO INVESTING MONEY OR USING A SERVICE LOCATED WITHIN ANY SECTION OF THE CLASSIFIEDS WE SUGGEST THE FOLLOWING PROCEDURE: ASK FOR REFERENCES & BUSINESS LICENSE NUMBER, OR CALL/WRITE: THE BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU AT 412-456-2700 / 300 SIXTH AVE., STE 100-UL / PITTSBURGH, PA 15222. REMEMBER: IF IT SOUNDS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, IT USUALLY IS! 42

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.09./01.16.2013

STUDIES CLINICAL STUDIES

CLINICAL STUDIES

Our board-certified physicians have been conducting clinical trials to advance primary care practice and the health of patients since 2003.

ROLL THE DICE

We are currently enrolling for clinical trials in the following areas: • Asthma • COPD • Migraine • Diabetes • Cardiovascular • High cholesterol • IBS with diarrhea

Start the business you’ve always wanted & advertise in City Paper.

412-650-6155 Want to make a difference?

Healthy Volunteers Needed for Hormonal Vaginal Ring Research Study You may be eligible to participate if you are: 18-39 years old In general good health Have regular periods Not pregnant or breastfeeding • Are willing to abstain from sexual activity, OR are sexually active and willing to use condoms, OR you are sterilized OR with one partner who has a vasectomy • Are willing to come to MageeWomens Hospital for up to 54 visits over 8 months • • • •

Participants will be compensated up to $2,930 fo their time and travel For more information please contact:

The Center for Family Planning at

412-641-5496

or visit: www.birthcontrolstudies.org

Are you interested in a long-term method of birth control?

YOU MAY BE ELIGIBLE IF YOU: • Are a non-pregnant woman between 16 and 45 years old • Are in need of contraception • Have regular periods • Are willing to come to Magee-Womens Hospital to complete up to 14 or more visits over a five year period The Center for Family Planning Research is conducting a research study of an investigational contraceptive intrauterine device (IUD).

Participants will receive study-related exams and study-related birth control at no cost.

To see if you qualify, please call the Center for Family Planning Research at 412-641-5496 or visit our website at www.birthcontrolstudies.org.Participants will be reimbursed up to $1030 over five years.

N E W S

+

TA S T E

+

M U S I C

+

S C R E E N

+

A R T S

+

E V E N T S

+

C L A S S I F I E D S

43

SERVICES ANNOUNCEMENTS Become a friend of Gordon Shoes on Facebook for your chance to win great prizes and merchandise!

Facebook.com/GordonShoes

DANCE INSTRUCTOR Place your Classified advertisment in City Paper. Call 412.316.3342

CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid.

We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808 www. cash4car.com (AAN CAN) Get the most for your money in CP Classifieds. We get great results. Call 412.316.3342 REACH 5 MILLION hip, forward-thinking consumers across the U.S. When you advertise in alternative newspapers, you become part of the local scene and gain access to an audience you won’t reach anywhere else. http:// altweeklies.com/ads

CLASSES ATTEND COLLEGE ONLINE from Home. *Medical, *Business, *Criminal Justice, *Hospitality. Job placement assistance.

Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified.

SCHEV authorized.

Call 800-481-9472 www.CenturaOnline. com(AAN CAN) Advertise Here Today!

PITTSBURGH STEEL CITY STEPPERS CHICAGO-STYLE STEPPIN’ DANCE LESSONS Wednesdays 7 -8:30 PM Wilkins School Community Center CONTACT: steelcitysteppers@ hotmail.com “friend” us on Facebook and Meetup.com

AIRLINE CAREERS – Become an Aviation Maintenance Tech.

FAA approved training. Financial aid if qualified – Housing available. Job placement assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance 877-4923059 (AAN CAN)

HAULING

D & S HAULING Reliable Low Rates Call NOW

412-877-0730

REHEARSAL Rehearsal Space starting @ $150/mo Many sizes available, no sec deposit, play @ the original and largest practice facility, 24/7 access, 412-403-6069

ADOPTION ADOPT Adoring young professionals will LOVE and CHERISH 1st baby.

Expenses Paid 1-800-997-1720 Morgan & John

Adopt. Adoring woman looking to adopt a baby. Unconditional love & security forever promised. Exp.Pd. Elisa 1-855-586-8848

Every time you click “reload,” the saints cry.

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.09./01.16.2013

{BY BEN TAUSIG}

Our readers look for an overall feeling of well being on a daily basis and they are looking for businesses like yours! Advertise in City Papers “Wellness” section.

blogh.pghcitypaper.com

44

Ink Well

TAILWINDS

ACROSS

1. Hippocratic oath subject 5. Sandwich alternative 9. Other: Abbr.

13. Two-time Golden Raspberry nominee Jessica 14. “Camelot” composer 15. Airline whose name is written rightto-left, natively 16. Where over two million Americans stay each year 17. Make someone wait?

18. Acronym for describing bad data 19. “Well, this ___” (“How unusual!”)

21. With 58-Across, what the end of 5-, 25- or 32-Down does 23. Fatah leader Mahmoud 26. External hard drive maker 28. Rosè-drinking season 29. Lumpfish 31. Cape-wearing game show villains 33. Former “Meet the Press” host Marvin 34. First-rate 36. Really bother 37. Desertion letters 39. Mark as pornographic, say 41. Prison the current prez has failed to close 44. Spice blend titan Mrs. ___ 46. She covered “The End” by her former lover Jim Morrison

50. Provided quarters for 52. Resentful 54. Guitar transcription system, briefly 55. ___ mate (steeped beverage) 57. Tease, perhaps 58. See 21-Across 60. After 18 nominations, she won a Daytime Emmy in 1998 62. Yanks’ foes 63. Popular wedding dress type 65. Xbox brains: Abbr.

69. Stare without subtlety 70. Public school supporter, often 71. Gp. that poached two members from Buffalo Springfield 72. “Mmmm, Gummi ___.”: Homer 73. Olympic runner and former Vegas escort Hamilton 74. Did

DOWN

1. Muhammed Ali went on one in 1989 2. Org. for cataloguers 3. After 2012, A-Rod is one behind Stan Musial 4. Bo’s co-owner 5. Lewis Carroll game involving letter replacement 6. 2012 remake with North Koreans rather than Soviets 7. Wonderment 8. Empire founded

by Cyrus 9. Commercial prefix with bus or upload 10. “Not bad!”

11. Herbal rheumatism treatment 12. Most intimate 14. Place to go in England?

20. Sea of Rhûnto-Mordor dir.

22. Temple of Zeus site 23. Look for answers?

24. Costar of Betty, Rue, and Estelle 25. Creed’s trainee 27. Certain TV personalities 30. Mekong River language 32. Convenient jewelry closure 35. Farther along 38. Riot grrrls, say 40. CC Sabathia, e.g., in “today’s starters” listings 41. “Quit sitting on your ass!”

42. Fuming 43. “The Road to Wellville” author 45. Barrage of spots 47. School in an elite league 48. Disney fan’s souvenir 49. Lesbian ___ 51. They can create distortion 53. Key that might close a window 56. Family reunion nickname 59. Site visitor, say 61. Bezos or Buffett 64. “Metal Machine Music” wanker Reed 66. “This Is Your Brain on Drugs,” e.g.

67. College, slangily, abroad 68. Original Pink Floyd guitarist Barrett {LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS}

WELLNESS

MIND & BODY Find your next place to “WORK” in City Paper!

COUNSELING

MIND & BODY

;;;;;;;;;;;;

Sneakers not meant to be in the box. New Balance Pittsburgh.

Oakland & Waterfront. www.lifestyleshoe.com

SELF-ESTEEM WORKSHOPS 412-400-7159 selfesteemworkshops.com ;;;;;;;;;;;;

MIND & BODY

FB Massage / Moist. for men 40+ by mature gent. Advance Sched.

412-916-4082 lrs8690@ aol.com Advertise your GOODS in City Paper and reach over 300,000 readers per month. Now that’s SERVICE!

Mingkun Massage DEEP TISSUE MASSAGE

massage Therapy

Trigger point Deep tissue Swedish Reflexology BLOOMFIELD 412.683.2328

Chinese Tuina Massage

125 W. Station Square Dr. Station Sq. Freight Shops

Walk-Ins Welcome 412-561-1104

PH. 412.389.8637

1788 Golden Mile Hwy Monroeville, PA 15146 Call for more information

3225 W. Liberty Ave. • Dormont

Professional Massage Therapists

$10 Off Massage Before Noon!

Water table and hot oil massages, body scrubs, and 10 different types of massages!

Best Chinese Massage Open 7 days a week 9:30am til 2am 2508 E. Carson St. 412-677-6080 412-918-1281

JADE

www.pittsburghbodyworks.com

$50/HR Free Table Shower

724-519-7896

CHINESE MASSAGE STAR Superior Chinese Massage

3348 Babcock Blvd.

Pittsburgh

Free Table Shower w/60min Open 10-10 Daily

1310 E. Carson St. 412-488-3951

Therapeutic Massage Therapy Relief is just a call away.

Our licensed professional staff can assist with Fibromyalgia, Circulation, Low Back Pain, Muscle Spasms.

Wellness Center

Premiere Outpatient Drug and Alcohol Treatment

DOWNTOWN 322 Fourth Ave. (1st Floor)

Health and Wellness Directory

• VIVITROL -

a new once a month injection for alcohol and opiate dependency

Includes Med Management & Therapy

• Group and Individualized Therapy

LOCATIONS IN:

• NOW Treating Pregnant Women

Oakland, PA Downtown Pgh, PA Bridgeville, PA West View, PA Butler, PA

NO WAIT LIST

Phoenix Spa New Young Professional

Accepts all major insurances and medical assistance

Free Table Shower w/60 min.

Open 10-10 Daily

IMMEDIATE OPENINGS

(Lawrenceville)

We treat: ~ Opiate Addiction ~ Heroin Addiction ~ And Other Drug Addiction

• SUBOXONE

4309 Butler Street

Walk in or Call

SUBOXONE

Family Owned and Operated Treating: Alcohol, Opiates, Heroin and More

Shadyside Location

412-441-1185

Zhangs Wellness Center

412-401-4110 $40/hr

Addiction & Recovery Health Services

412.246.8965, ext. 9

Sports, Swedish, Shiatsu. $50/Hour Northside Location Near Heinz Field Call Rick: 412-512-6716

China Massage

412-308-5540 412-548-3710

Caring Help for Opiate Addiction

• Experienced, caring therapy and medical staff.

• Private, professional setting.

• Downtown office near public transportation and parking.

• Medication by prescription coverage or self-pay.

Immediate openings. Now accepting Highmark and self-paying clients.

Xie LiHong’s

minkunmassage.com

SUBOXONE TREATMENT

THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE FOR MEN

WELLNESS CENTER

South Side

Get the most for your money in CP Classifieds. We get great results. Call 412.316.3342

BAD BACK OR NECK PAIN?

• $40 per 60 min massage • 2hr free valet parking at the Concourse with the purchase of a 60 or 90 min massage

Chinese So Relax Massage

MIND & BODY

412-621-3300

412.434.6700

Suboxone Services Pittsburgh- 412-281-1521 Beaver- 724-448-9116 N E W S

+

TA S T E

+

M U S I C

+

S C R E E N

WE have been there WE know your pain Don’t Wait Any Longer!

MONROEVILLE, PA

412-380-0100 www.myjadewellness.com +

A R T S

+

E V E N T S

www.ThereToHelp.org

We Accept: - UPMC for You - United Health - And Many Others +

C L A S S I F I E D S

45

Xin Sui Bodyworks

TIGER SPA

Grand Opening

GRAND OPENING!!!

Best of the Best in Town!

420 W. Market St., Warren, OH 44481 76 West, 11 North, 82 West to Market St. 6 lights and make a left.

1/4 mile on the left hand side.

$49.99/ hour Free Vichy Shower with 1HR or more body work (Body shower and Body Scrub) Essential Oil used at no extra charge

Open 9am-12 midnight 7 days a week!

Licensed Professionals Dry Sauna, Table Shower, Deep Tissue, Swedish

2539 Monroeville Blvd Ste 200 Monroeville, Pa 15146 Next to Twin Fountain Plaza 412-335-6111

330-373-0303 Credit Cards Accepted

GRAND OPENING!

Judy’s Oriental Massage Appointments & Walk-ins are both welcome 10am to 10pm

FULL BODY MASSAGE $40/hr

blogh.pghcitypaper.com

Work yourself into a lather.

Rinse.

Repeat.

Now with Vichy Shower 4125 William Penn Hwy, Murrysville, PA 15668 Across the street from Howard Hanna’s

724-519-2950 Accepting All Major Cards

412.316.3342

Get Your YOGA On! Schoolhouse Yoga new year. new you.

get strong strLS GLstrLFt get Áe[LEOe sTuLrreO KLOO Oose weLgKt sKaGysLGe ÀnG SeaFe nortK KLOOs

www.schoolhouseyoga.com 46

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.09./01.16.2013

WAR WITHOUT

A WINTER COAT {A POEM BY JIMMY CVETIC}

Iran shot at a US drone Which was flying over neutral water.

Some say it’s an act of war, I don’t know.

Jake came to the gym last night And worked hard Footwork and more footwork And hit the pads And I told him he has to study hard And learn to count Because he has to learn to count his money Because if he didn’t learn, someone will count his money for him.

And he did fifty push-ups And he did pull-ups till his arms could not lift his body above the bar And he fell to the floor.

And I told him, “Get up. Champions don’t lay on the floor.”

I watched how he pulled himself up, And I told him, “Last round go dance in the ring.”

I watched as he climbed between the ropes And he floated around the ring And I told him, “Move like Ali, float And sting.”

He moved as if he was walking on rice paper Gliding and magic and all of the dreams of so many before him Sugar and Pepp And Louis and Grebb and Conn And Hagler and Rocky And Duran and Hearns and Always the lights and Dreams

Always the dreams.

I asked him, “How’s your mom?”

He told me, “She in the hospital and I’m going to see her tomorrow.’”

“What’s wrong?”

He said, “I don’t know.”

“Where you living?”

He said, “With my uncle.”

“I thought you was staying with your grandmother.”

He said, “She’s in a rehab.”

I asked, “Your grandmother’s on drugs?”

“Yeah.”

I asked, “You have enough to eat?”

“Yeah, I’m eating all right.”

I waited at the top of the steps and shut off The lights of the gym.

“Where’s your coat?”

Jake said, “When my mom gets out the hospital, She’s going to buy me one.”

I asked, “You need a ride?”

He said, “No, I got a bus pass.”

I said, “See you tomorrow, champ.”

I watched as Jake walked with his boxing shoes hung Over his back and I felt so helpless Like when you’re knocked down and can hear The ref counting … six … seven … eight …

And I want so badly for Jake to beat the count And I can hear a drone circling and crying out It’s an act of war …

And I felt the cold November wind cutting across The dark streets of Pittsburgh I N F O@ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

N E W S

+

TA S T E

+

M U S I C

+

S C R E E N

+

A R T S

+

E V E N T S

+

C L A S S I F I E D S

47

MORTGAGE MANIA JANUARY 1 – FEBRUARY 2 Swipe daily at any kiosk to win prizes and to earn your entries for a chance to win in our $300,000 Mortgage Mania Grand Prize Drawings!

Start earning entries 6am, January 1 through 6pm, January 31. 25 base points = 1 entry. Must swipe at the kiosk each Saturday to earn 5x entries.

GRAND PRIZE DRAWINGS: January 31, February 1, and February 2 at 7:15pm

EVERY SATURDAY EARN 5X ENTRIES

WIN THESE LIFE CHANGING PRIZES EACH DRAWING 1 winner - cash prize could pay MORTGAGE or RENT for a year 2 winners - AUTO or CREDIT CARD LOAN assistance up to $10,000 3 winners - $100 Free Slot Play every week for a year Swipe your Rush Rewards Players Club card to activate entries from 2:00pm-7:00pm on each drawing day.

For complete details visit Rush Rewards Players Club.

SLOTS | TABLE GAMES | DINING | NIGHTLIFE 777 CASINO DRIVE, PITTSBURGH NEXT TO HEINZ FIELD RIVERSCASINO.COM