December 19, 2012

WWW.PGHCITYPAPER.COM | 12.19/12.26.2012 NEWTOWN.UWWESTERNCT.ORG

CAN THE MOTHERS OF VIOLENT-CRIME VICTIMS BREAK CODE OF SILENCE? 06

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.19/12.26.2012

ADVER TI SEMENT

WARHOLA FAMILY TIES RUN DEEP

EVENTS

Andy Warholâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s story is much stranger than Ă&#x20AC; FWLRQ Imagine what it was like to have a relative who: Image: Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol Â&#x2021; 5RVH WR WKH WRS RI WKH DUW ZRUOG Getting a Pedicure (detail), 1982, Š The Andy Warhol Foundation for the Visual Arts, Inc. Â&#x2021; %XLOW D FDUHHU LQ PRYLHV PXVL ' RHV K H OLNH WKH PXVHXP" ´<RX FRXOGQ¡W and F SXE furniture in art galleries in Pittsburgh, lishing.

DVN IRU D PRUH SHUIHFW EXLOGLQJ ,I LW Z HUH PRG 1HZ <RUN &KLFDJR Â&#x2021; *DWKHUHG HYHU VWUDQJHU IULHQGV DQG HOVHZKHUH %XW KH ern it wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have the attraction this build- has never wanted his Â&#x2021; 6XUYLYHG DQ DVVDVVLQDWLRQ DWWHP art to get in the way of ing does .â&#x20AC;?

SW $QG\¡V VR KH FXW EDFN KLV SURGXFWLRQ DF Â&#x2021; $PDVVHG D IRUWXQH $QG $QG\" ´$QG\ ZRXOG IHHO SURXG FRUG RI LW LQJO\ +H VWLOO WXUQV RXW R Â&#x2021; )LOOHG KLV WRZQKRXVH ZLWK UDUH FFDVLRQDO SDLQWLQJV WR DUW DQG DOO DOO WKH SURJUDPV WR HGXFDWH DQG VWXG\ +H order for galleries and collectors, usually sellextravagant antiques.

DOZD\V ZDQWHG WR KHOS \RXQJHU DUWLVWV RXW EH ing in the low thousands Â&#x2021; )RUHFDVW KLV RZQ GHDWK . cause he knew the struggle he had.â&#x20AC;?

'HVSLWH D VKRUW OLYHG EUHDN LQ WKHLU UHO Â&#x2021; $QG EHFDPH KLV RZQ SRS LFRQ 3DXO :DUKROD RI 6PRFN )D\HWWH &R DWLRQ XQW\ VKLS RYHU -RKQ¡V EHLQJ Q ,I HYHU WKHUH ZHUH DQ DUWLVW¡V OLIH WR L DPHG WR WKH IRXQGD QVSLUH LV $QG\¡V ROGHVW EURWKHU $Q RXWVSRNHQ VHOI WLRQ WKH E URWKHUV UHPDLQ IULHQGV %RWK NQRZ a museum, Warhol was it. made and shrewd businessman, Paul was a thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s how their mother, The enigmas of his life are such that Julia Warhola, would VXFFH VVIXO 1RUWK 6LGH VFUDS GHDOHU ZKR QRZ alhave wanted it. though he was in regular contact with his fam- enjoys living on his farm. After Andyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s death, 3DXO Ă&#x20AC; QGV WKH QHZ PXVHXP ´JRUJHRXV Âľ ily, they belonged to Pittsburgh. Warh ol rarely 3DXO IHOW FORVHU WR KLV EURWKHU E\ SDLQWLQJ How does he think the museum will affect UHWXUQHG WKHLU YLVLWV 7KH WHOHSKRQH ZDV KLV +HLQ] NHWFKXS ERWWOHV DQG EDNHG EHDQV QRW WKH FLW\" ´,W ZLOO EH D JRRG WRXULVW DWWUDFWLRQ main contact with them. &DPSEHOO¡V VRXS FDQV

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s going to be a success and add Just the same, the family, each member to PittsAfter being discovered as an artist, in he burghâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s culture. his or her own way, was thrilled thoug h some- became famous overnight as Andy Warholâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;When Andy died, I would have thoug WLPHV SX]]OHG E\ KLV DFFRPSOLVKPH ht a QWV DQG SDLQWLQJ EURWKHU DSSHDULQJ LQ QDWLRQDO PDJD PXVHXP Z RXOG EH VHW XS LQ 1HZ <RUN 6HQ celebrity during his lifetime. ]LQHV DQG RQ WHOHYLVLRQ JDPH SURJUDPV +H -RKQ +HLQ] ZDV D ELJ Today, few are more enthusiastic abou IDFWRU :LWKRXW KLP , t The KDV GLVSOD\HG KLV ´FKLFNHQ VFUDWFKÂľ SDLQWLQJV donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t think the idea would have gotten of the Andy Warhol Museum.

-RKQ :DUKROD RI 5RVV LV D TXLHW VOHQGHU self-effacing man who is determined to do his best in a role he never sought. He was named a director of the Andy Warhol Foundatio n for the Visual Arts in Andyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s will. John also has had to live with the reality that his older brother, Paul Warhola, was not named to the board. $ UHWLUHG 6HDUV 5RHEXFN DQG &R SDUWV salesman, Warhola is interested in seein g that $QG\¡V IRXQGDWLRQ LV KHOSIXO WR WKH 3 LWWVEXUJK DUWV DQG KH KDV VSRNHQ XS IRU PDQ\ ORFDO 2013 causes.

The exhibition is organized by the National Gallery of Art, Washington, in association Of the new museum, he said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;I feel all with The Andy Warhol Museum, Pittsburgh, the Galleria Nazionale dâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;arte Moderna, Andyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard work wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t in vain. His work is Rome, and The Museum fĂźr Moderne Kunst, Frankfurt. The exhibition is supported by LQ WKH PXVHXP ZKLFK ZLOO KHOS WKH FLW\ ,Q D an indemnity from the Federal Council on the Arts and the Humanities.

ZD\ ZH LQ WKH IDPLO\ ZLOO VWLOO KDYH D S DUW RI Andy through it. We would rather have This exhibition has been made possible through the generous support of the Horace W. Goldsmith Foundation and him alive, but this is the next best thing.â&#x20AC;? :KDW DUH KLV LPSUHVVLRQV RI WKH P XVHXP" DEBORAH KASS: ´,W PDNHV PH IHHO JRRG WR VHH $QG\¡V SDLQW BEFORE AND HAPPILY EVER AFTER Sponsored by ings with my mother as the subject.

It brings THRU JANUARY 6, 2013 back memories of her, and it reminds me of the good advice she gave me and Andy over Deborah Kass, Blue Deb, 2000 the years.

SEE HOW THE MAN WHOSE ART MADE HEADLINES MADE HEADLINES INTO ART.

12.31 SPECIAL HOLIDAY HOURS The Warhol will be open on Monday, December 31 from 10am to 5pm

1.5 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 2pm GALLERY TALK: LESLIE GOLOMB, ARTIST AND INDEPENDENT CURATOR Free with Museum admission/ Free for Members

1.11 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 7pm OUT OF THE BOX: TIME CAPSULE OPENING WITH TIME CAPSULES CATALOGUERS Free with Museum admission/Free for Members

1.25 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 8pm OFF THE WALL 2013: TAMMIE FAY STARLITE: CHELSEA MADCHEN Tickets $25/$20 Members & students

1.31 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 8:30pm JOHN WATERS: INTIMATE GALLERY TALK REGARDING WARHOL, 60 ARTISTS, FIFTY YEARS Tickets $150 (30 person capacity)

2.26 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 8pm SOUND SERIES: BONNIE â&#x20AC;&#x153;PRINCEâ&#x20AC;?

BILLY, WITH SPECIAL GUEST, TITLE TK Carnegie Lecture Hall (Oakland) Co-presented with Carnegie Museum of Art, in conjunction with the exhibition Cory Arcangel: Masters Tickets $18/$15 Members

117 Sandusky St., Pittsburgh, PA 15212

The Andy Warhol Museum receives state arts funding support through a grant from the Pennsylvania Council on the Arts, a state agency funded by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania; the National Endowment for the Arts, a federal agency and The Heinz Endowments. Further support is provided by the Allegheny Regional Asset District.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.19/12.26.2012

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{EDITORIAL}

12.19/12.26.2012 {COVER PHOTO BY TERRY CLARK}

VOLUME 22 + ISSUE 51

[NEWS]

06

“Moms make a difference on every level. When those guys go to jail …

Who’s the first one they call? Mom.” — Richard Garland, director of Pitt’s Violence Prevention Project, on a new anti-violence effort led by mothers who’ve lost children to violence

Editor CHRIS POTTER News Editor CHARLIE DEITCH Arts & Entertainment Editor BILL O’DRISCOLL Music Editor ANDY MULKERIN Associate Editor AL HOFF Listings Editor MARGARET WELSH Assistant Listings Editor JESSICA BOGDAN Staff Writers AMYJO BROWN, LAUREN DALEY Staff Photographer HEATHER MULL Interns CATHERINE SYLVAIN, AMANDA WISHNER

{ART}

28

“We wanted to create a space that’s ours, a communal space where everyone just floats around in the music.” — Phil Johnson of Sleep Experiments, on holding a release show in a long-shuttered Elks ballroom

[SCREEN] a dwarf’s too-long beard, 37 “Like this film could use a serious trim.”

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[ARTS] “They’d plug us into the P.A., then not 40 turn off the Monday Night Football game.” — Bill Crawford on his days doing standup comedy in Pittsburgh bars

[LAST WORD] don’t just give them a bag of 62 “We groceries. We don’t decide what they get. They do.” — Food-pantry coordinator Kelly Willard on antihunger efforts in Coraopolis

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TA S T E

GENERAL POLICIES: Contents copyrighted 2012

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“JUST A LITTLE PIECE OF INFORMATION …

COULD LEAD TO AN ARREST.”

INCOMING Due to growing pains or growing tensions, 2012 was a dangerous year for the city’s cycling community (Dec. 12) “Seems fairly impossible to implement ‘don’t be a jerk’ regulation on the majority fuel-burning populace, and so it falls to the minority bike crowd to change the perception and ease tensions.”

— Web comment from “Dustin James Lee” “Riding a bicycle does not give anyone freedom to do what they want on the road. Vehicle drivers are not exempt — I have encountered and been the victim of aggressive drivers as well. I just think some of the bicycle riders need more education on safety and also with the rules of riding a bike on the road. …

Everyone on the road should respect each other so that we can all be safe.”

— Web comment from “Greta” “With the growth in the cycling community, there likely is just more opportunity for interaction between your average Pittsburgh cyclists and drivers. It is a mark of our region’s improving progressive livability and indicative of forward-thinking public policy that we’re seeing more cyclists on our streets. … Our city is growing and adapting, an increase in cycling and cyclists is an indicator of that. There is enough room on our streets for all of us.”

— Web comment from “J_Z”

UPMC opens food bank for struggling employees (Dec. 11, online only) “UPMC did miss the boat on this one, but I suppose they could have done nothing.”

— Web comment from Lawrence Han “The pantry was started by employees, not UPMC. We all see our coworkers go through tough times like a husband or wife losing a job, or an unexpected medical expense that puts a strain on finances. Wouldn’t it be nice if you had a resource like this at work if something like that happened?”

— Web comment from “J John” “People who do an honest day’s work should not have to rely on a food bank to make ends meet. UPMC should be ashamed of itself.”

— Web comment from “Deb Hochhauser”

6

SILENCE

KILLS

Local mothers urging neighbors to speak up for their neighborhoods and for justice {BY AMYJO BROWN}

I

N THE CITY’S most dangerous neigh-

borhoods, sometimes the littlest things can lead to the biggest problems: a bump of a grocery cart in the store, a toe stepped on, a few bucks owed.

That can be all it takes for a gun to be pulled and a body to drop.

“Doe” says he doesn’t fear it. His friends started dying when he was in the sixth grade at Rankin Elementary. Now 20, he starts to mumble through a list of nicknames, trying to count them all before trailing off and giving up. “It’s a lot of people,” he says.

“At least 20,” says his friend, known to those at the Rankin Christian Center as “Baby Hulk.” He and Doe grew up together. They’re tight.

“If something happened to him, that would hurt me, for real,” Doe says. “I would probably revenge him. He’s like my brother.”

Baby Hulk ducks his head and sounds a little surprised. “That’s love,” he says.

Would he do the same? “Yeah,” he says.

But for the mothers who lose their sons to such violence, similarly heard justifications for their deaths bring no solace.

“I wanted more for my child,” Shawntika Rice says, sitting on the couch looking at pictures of her son, Rashee Coleman, in her mother’s Hill District apartment.

The 17-year-old was shot in the back of the head in April 2011, hours after he returned home from spending a year at a

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.19/12.26.2012

{PHOTO BY JOHN COLOMBO}

Shawntika Rice at a Nov. 30 vigil against gun violence in East Liberty

group home for troubled kids.

“He came home for the Easter holiday,” she says. She had dropped him off at the barber shop and was making spaghetti — his favorite meal — when she got the call that he had been shot.

Whatever the reason for the murder — a dispute over money or anger over something stolen — it wasn’t worth his life, she says.

It “doesn’t justify why I had to bury my only child,” she says.

Coleman’s murder is still under investigation. Pittsburgh Police Bureau detective Tim Rush declined to discuss the status of the case. Rice says police have followed up on information she’s shared, but “keep hitting dead ends.”

“I know people out there know who did it,” Rice says. “His murderer is walking around these streets.”

The long wait for closure has motivated her to join other mourning mothers who are trying to change a deeply held culture CONTINUES ON PG. 08

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SILENCE KILLS, CONTINUED FROM PG. 06

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.19/12.26.2012

“Hot spot cards” are being distributed by the Pennsylvania Interfaith Impact Network to help curb gun violence.

of silence in communities bearing the brunt of the city’s violent crimes.

For the past five months, Rice has been canvassing, leading an effort by the Pennsylvania Interfaith Impact Network to curb shootings by asking people to write down on “hot spot cards” crimes or suspicious activities they’ve witnessed.

She hopes she can act as a trusted middleman, promising anonymity and passing the information on to the police.

It’s not an easy cause. In many cases, involving some of the worst crimes in the city’s roughest neighborhoods, witnesses won’t step up because of the fear that they or their family members will be harmed.

“Generally speaking, in almost every crime of violence, the perpetrator is known within the first couple of hours,” says District Attorney Steve Zappala. “The question then is whether we have a prosecutable case.”

Often, he says, that depends on whether first-hand witnesses are willing to testify.

Allegheny County marked 94 homicides as of mid-December. Of the 44 that occurred in the city of Pittsburgh, 25 were still under investigation, including the deaths of three people sitting in the stands of an October peewee football game at the Pittsburgh Obama International Studies Academy, in East Liberty.

“A lot of people saw what happened,” Zappala says. “We have not been able to prosecute.”

AT THE RANKIN Christian Center, assistant program director Calvin Murphy works with the young boys and men most at risk of becoming either shooters or victims. They are those growing up

without fathers, bouncing from house to house, coming into contact daily with drug traffic and drug use.

“Everybody has something to prove,” he says.

Murphy says the shooters he’s known displayed no signs of nervousness or remorse after the fact.

“When they’re doing it and going around with it, they carry it like it never happened,” he says. “There is no hint of anything until the day he is picked up.

He’s numb to it.”

Indeed, the way to survive, Baby Hulk and Doe say, is to stand your ground and keep to your own business. You look to those you’ve grown up with, your “pack,” to help protect you.

“Your feelings, you’ve got to keep them in your back pocket, keep them in your chest. You have to be more with your brain,” Baby Hulk says. “You’re thinking about yourself. You’ve got to think about yourself. It’s a jungle.”

And that means not helping the police — even when mothers like Rice are begging for them to come forward.

“My heart would go out to the mother,” Doe says. “But if I snitch for her, that’s putting my life and my family in danger.

You can’t worry about everyone else.”

Baby Hulk agrees.

“You truly start to believe that,” he says. “You start drowning stuff out.”

VALERIE DIXON has heard it before.

The mother of a Westinghouse High School graduate who was shot and killed 11 years ago at the age of 22, she founded the nonprofit Prevent Another Crime Today, or PACT, which produces billboards encouraging people to break the “code of the streets” and help solve Allegheny CONTINUES ON PG. 10

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SILENCE KILLS, CONTINUED FROM PG. 08

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.19/12.26.2012

County’s homicide cases.

Dixon, who also works as a courtappointed advocate for families of homicide victims, says that fear of the consequences of snitching “has been so deeply embedded that the attempt to come forward doesn’t even occur.”

But her effort with PACT has put her son’s murderer as well as others in jail.

Over the past 10 years, the billboards, which offer $5,000 rewards for information leading to convictions, have contributed to tips leading to 33 arrests, 27 trials and 22 convictions, she says. About $43,000 has been awarded to those who have called in with information.

But more than the money, she credits the impact she has had to the conversations she sparks — even though they may not produce a useful tip right away or convince someone to immediately come forward.

“They have to man up, when they’re in that group, when everyone is looking at them. ‘We ain’t no snitch,’” she says.

“But when they go home, they think about it. Some of them do.”

Richard Garland, coordinator of the Violence Prevention Project at the University of Pittsburgh Graduate School of Public Health, also says that the bravado can be overcome.

“I don’t care what you say about this generation. At the end of the day, they don’t really want to kill anybody,” he says. “They don’t really want to

do the shooting.”

They’re looking for someone — the right someone — to intervene and help them, he says.

“The guys who are doing what I call the hand-to-hand combat, they’re not making any money. There’s too much competition,” Garland says. “Being a drug dealer is harder than construction work. You have the police who are trying to get you, you have your own friends, your own homies who are trying to rob you. You can’t trust nobody. “ Garland says if anyone is going to break through the street rules governing “snitching,” it is mothers like Rice and Dixon, those who choose to be a force for change.

“Moms make a difference on every level,” Garland says. “When those guys go to jail, they don’t call their so-called friends. Who’s the first one they call?

Mom. Who visits them while they’re in jail every week? Not the girlfriend. Not the homies. Mom.” Shawntika Rice’s effort with the hotspot cards has yet to yield the kind of results she hopes for. Only a few cards have been returned since they were first distributed in August. But she remains optimistic.

“Just a little piece of information … could lead to an arrest,” she says. And “maybe one day, one of these cards will have information that leads to my son’s murderers going to jail.”

A B ROW N @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

{BY MATT BORS}

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AT TENTION

RETAIL

EMPLOYEES: {PHOTO COURTESY OF AMANDA VIRBITSKY}

Transportation experts have a panel discussion at the Southwestern Pennsylvania Smart Growth Conference.

PLOTTING A COURSE

Corbett finally seems ready to deal with transportation funding {BY LAUREN DALEY}

ARE YOU OWED

OVERTIME? Workers’ rights attorneys are currently investigating allegations that some employers may have underpaid certain of their employees by unlawfully failing to pay time and 1/2 overtime compensation. Specifically, certain companies may have unlawfully paid employees only 1/2 their regular rate, as opposed to time and ½ for hours worked over 40.

If, at any time between December 1, 2009 and the present, you worked over 40 hours per week and were paid less than time and a half for overtime compensation, immediately call: (855) 4CLASSLAW to speak with an attorney.

Joseph Weeden, Esq., Arlington, VA.

SINCE GOV. Tom Corbett took office, legislators, policy-makers and transit advocates have been calling on him to deal with the state’s transportationfunding dilemma.

And for two years, Corbett has stayed generally silent — except to occasionally acknowledge it was a problem that had to be solved separately from the state budget, or to call on the Port Authority’s union to make concessions.

But earlier this month at an event in New York, the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reported that Corbett told reporters that he had a plan ready for 2013.

Details remain scarce, but state officials claim they’re on the way. At the Southwestern Pennsylvania annual Smart Growth Conference, on Dec. 13, state transportation Secretary Barry Schoch said Corbett will soon reveal “an exact plan” on funding transportation across all modes.

“None of us want to pay more for anything, but if we don’t start investing in this system, we’re sending a heck of a bill on to the younger generation,” Schoch said.

He said the plan would follow “the basic tenets” of suggestions proposed by

the governor’s own Transportation Funding Advisory Commission, which in 2011 identified around $2.5 billion in funding ideas — like uncapping the oil-franchise tax. But Schoch declined to elaborate at the conference, saying he did not want to “upstage” the governor.

He did give some hints — saying the state was “looking at” plans like converting transit fleets to run on natural gas, and consolidating regional transit systems. Schoch also said the administration would utilize “some new tools in the toolbox,” such as recently enacted legislation that permits public-private partnerships to fund infrastructure and capital projects.

He also touted modernization efforts, research initiatives and changing internal business practices to generate cost savings within the agency itself.

Meanwhile, he said, the state will be looking to local governments to chip in.

The solution put forth will be “sustainable to show growth so we’re not in a situation where we have stagnant funding,” Schoch said. “We want to do something that’s longterm, sustainable, multimodal and addresses the problem.”

“Neither the governor or I are interested in coming in and putting a BandAid over this,” he said.

Short-term fixes have been the norm.

When the Port Authority faced crippling service cuts and massive layoffs for 2011 as a result of flat state funding, thengovernor Ed Rendell “flexed” money to the agency to avert cuts — a practice he had used before. The Port Authority

“NEITHER THE GOVERNOR OR I ARE INTERESTED IN COMING IN AND PUTTING A BAND-AID OVER THIS.”

CONTINUES ON PG. 15

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.19/12.26.2012

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GO BIG

or

go home.

Transit advertising is big, and it moves.

Not only can you express yourself in a big way, you can reach more potential customers – and unlike other media, we get around. Port Authority transit vehicles serve a good part of Allegheny County.

And not only that, you can customize your reach.

We can target whatever areas you want to impress.

And it’s not just riders, it’s everyone on the street.

Look for new products and possibilities in 2013.

To go BIG call Terri at 412.566.5475 If you’re not on the bus you are sitting still.

14

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.19/12.26.2012

PLOTTING A COURSE, CONTINUED FROM PG. 12

used that money to reduce the cuts to 15 percent.

But still no long-term solution was proposed once Corbett took office. PAT faced a 35 percent service cut and massive layoffs this year, and the state stepped in with a short-term, $35 million deal with funding from the state and county. The cash came only after a new labor deal was hammered out with the Amalgamated Transit Union Local 85, which would lead to $60 million in savings over four years.

Transit policymakers and advocates are cautiously optimistic. At the Port Authority, CEO Steve Bland says things are as quiet as they’ve ever been — which is a welcome change after a tumultuous few years. Bland says the agency is slated to receive additional funding of about $4.5 million from the county through the drink tax as well as an allotment from the Regional Asset District, through the agreement hashed out with the state in August. The state also agreed to pony up an additional $30 million; Bland says the agency has about a third of that in hand.

“We’re obviously getting through the fiscal year fine,” Bland says. Next fiscal year “is a more of an unknown.” But

Bland says he’s “very optimistic.”

Whatever Corbett’s plan is, there’s still likely to be a legislative battle over it. While many state Republicans and Democrats have expressed support for a funding package and introducing legislation that incorporates much of the transit commission’s recommendations, hurdles remain.

On Dec. 11, Republican state Rep. Brad Roae emailed fellow lawmakers stating that transportation-funding reform should include “eliminating funding” for mass transit.

“I resent my constituents paying higher gasoline tax so that we can keep small-system, fixed-route bus service that nobody uses and subsidize large systems that are already far cheaper than driving for their customers,” he wrote.

Lawmakers say they are ready for the fight. State Rep. Dan Frankel (DSquirrel Hill) plans to again introduce legislation for funding mass transit as he did last session. And he believes there’s enough bipartisan support for a funding solution.

“Without detail, it looks to me like [Schoch] is describing a big vision and not a piecemeal approach,” Frankel says.

“If so, I’m encouraged.”

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[GREEN LIGHT]

HOUSE RECIPE {BY BILL O’DRISCOLL}

Goal line.

PofE T the

WEEK

Blue line.

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Baseline.

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She deserves a second chance!

Call Animal Friends today!

412-847-7000

The UPMC Sports Medicine Concussion Program is a world leader in the assessment, management, and rehabilitation of concussions at all levels and all ages.

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Affiliated with the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine, UPMC is ranked among the nation’s top 10 hospitals by U.S. News & World Report.

FROM THE outside, the Pittsburgh Green House looks pretty ordinary. The East Liberty building is two stories with an attic, sided with brick, and about 100 years old. If you own a home in Pittsburgh, odds are it’s something like this place.

And that’s just the point of this ACTIONHousing project: In a world where it’s ever more important to curb energy use, the Green House is not especially green. Unlike ACTION-Housing’s own new “passive house,” in Heidelberg, it’s not so well-insulated that it uses just 10 percent of the energy of a conventional house. Nor is the Green House much like West Penn Energy Solutions’ nearby retrofitted, century-old East Liberty “net-zero” house, whose solar panels help it make as much energy as it burns.

Rather, the Green House — drafty, with much work left to do — teaches homeowners with modest means and ordinary utility hook-ups how to lower both their energy bills and their environmental impact.

The environmental stakes are significant. Researchers say that about 40 percent of U.S. emissions of carbon dioxide, the chief global-warming gas, come from buildings.

But much of that energy is simply wasted, via leaks, or machinery that’s overused, inefficient or poorly maintained.

Many such problems are easily addressed. ACTION-Housing should know: The regional nonprofit, founded in 1957, builds, renovates and manages affordable housing. Between 1982 and 2010, it weatherized more than 25,000 homes, making them more efficient and cheaper to operate.

The Green House is used by contractors, energy-auditors and homeowners.

Since opening in March, it’s had nearly 550 visitors. Classes like “Home Energy 202” range from free to $15 to attend. In November, ACTION’s Jeff Susan held a 90-minute class called “Air Sealing Essentials” for two home-owners, a renter looking to buy and four young guys in work boots from the federally funded Job Corps’ weatherization program.

Susan and a buddy did the initial rehab on the Green House after ACTION bought it. In class, he emphasizes things like insulating the attic, where houses lose most of their heat. He paused by the building’s first-floor wall, exposed to display in crosssection several kinds of insulation — fiberglass batting, foam board. He reviewed their plusses and minuses. Blown-in cellulose, for instance, is often preferable because of

how well it traps air. But any insulation can cause mildew if improperly vented. And access is challenging in the cramped spaces of old houses.

Most fixes are feasible for average doit-yourselfers.

True, some Green House classes for energy-auditors use infrared beams to find air leaks. But as Susan notes, looking for cobwebs works, too. (Spiders like drafts.) And most gaps can be plugged with spray-foam insulation or even caulk.

“Caulk’s a good thing,” says Susan.

Some newfangled strategies — as described on signage for a self-guided Green House tour — are both easy and affordable. Programmable thermostats (the Green House’s is set at 65 degrees) keep you from overheating your house when you’re asleep or at work. Compact fluorescent bulbs can cut lighting bills by 80 percent.

Water-saving toilets, washing machines and shower heads can halve water usage.

Certain houseplants — spider plants, orchids — improve indoor air quality. So does avoiding fumes from chemical cleaners by using combinations of natural agents like lemon juice, vinegar and baking soda.

“CAULK’S A GOOD THING.”

PITTSBURGH GREEN HOUSE 308 N. Sheridan St., East Liberty Open 3-6 p.m. Wednesdays, during classes and by appointment 412-362-4744 or www.pittsburghgreenhouse.org

Behavioral fixes are cheaper still. “There’s all this great technology,” says Green House interim director Brian Cowan. “But if you just wait ’til you get home to turn on the furnace, or turn off the light when you leave the room, you can save the money without implementing all that technology.”

Knowing what not to do matters, too.

Replacing old windows, for instance, might cost more than it’s worth, says Cowan: Better to seal around windows, or even along baseboards, and insulate the windows with plastic sheeting.

One step to weatherization is awareness. “You can be more free from your energy bills or you can be more tied to them,” says Cowan.

Confidence helps, too. Many homeowners just don’t know what to look for, or mistakenly think the skills required are too difficult, says Susan. “A lot of them think they can’t do it, but I think they can.”

D RI S C OL L @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.19/12.26.2012

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NEWS OF THE WEIRD {BY CHUCK SHEPHERD} COMEDY MURDER MYSTERY SHOWS

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Plastic surgeons in Turkey and France told CNN in November that mustache implants have suddenly surged in popularity as Middle Eastern men use their increased lip bushiness to convey power and prestige. Surgeons extract follicles from hairier parts of the body in procedures that cost the equivalent of around $7,000 and show full results in about six months. An anthropology professor told CNN that, by tradition in Arab countries, a man of honor would “swear on my mustache,” use mustaches as collateral for loans, shave off a vanquished foe’s mustache as a reward, and gravely insult enemies with “Curse be upon your mustache!”

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At the religious festival of Pon, thousands of Muslims travel to Gunung Kemukus, on Indonesia’s main island of Java, to have the required sexual intercourse with a stranger.

The experience, which supposedly brings good fortune, has become heavily commercialized, but nevertheless, about half the participants are “pure,” in that no money changes hands. More than a quick tryst is involved, according to an October Global Mail dispatch. The pilgrims must first pray, then bathe themselves, then select their proper stranger, then bathe themselves afterward (carefully saving the water for later re-use), and finally return seven times at 35-day intervals to refresh their ritual.

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According to testimony in Perth, Australia, in November, one retired priest, Thomas Byrne, 80, bit off the ear of another, Thomas Smith, 81, in a brawl over a parking space. Father Byrne and Father Smith are residents of the same retirement home.

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For centuries, some residents of India’s Madhya Pradesh state have allowed themselves to be trampled by garishly dressed animals in periodic attempts to have their prayers answered. The November “Ekadashi” (the 11th day of certain months of the Hindu calendar) this year began with prayers, followed by the liquoring up of the animals (cows in Ujjain and buffaloes in Bhopal, for example) to “remove their inhibitions,” according to a WebIndia123 report. Even so, according to local press reports, hardly anyone ever gets hurt.

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Things People Believe: (1) Personalities are heavily influenced by blood types, according to the Japanese. People with Type A blood are thought to be “sensitive perfectionists and good team players, but over-anxious,” according to a November BBC News dispatch, while O’s are “curious and generous but stubborn.” Some industries market blood-type-specific products ranging from soft drinks to condoms. (2) Names given by their parents heavily influence a person’s fortunes in life, according to many Thais, but that means relief from misery is just an official namechange away, according to a November Wall Street Journal dispatch from Bangkok. Servicesfor-fee are available to help find prosperous names, with one smartphone application suggesting five for the equivalent of about $10.

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Saudis Remain Freedom-Challenged: (1) In September, officials in Jeddah detained 908 female Nigerian visitors who were not accompanied by appropriate male guardians

as required for all females in the kingdom under age 45. (Older women are allowed to carry notarized permission slips from husbands, sons or brothers.) That the Nigerians were in the country only to make the required Muslim Hajj pilgrimage did not deter Saudi authorities.

(2) Saudi immigration officials in November began a text-messaging service to notify husbands if a woman attempts to leave the country (at an airport or across a border) without the official “yellow sheet” authorizing her departure.

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Police were seeking a 6-foot-3-inch man concerning an attempted child-abduction in November after a father intervened as the man led the father’s 2-year-old daughter toward an exit of the Fashion Square mall in Charlottesville, Va. The father alerted Fashion Square’s security, and the cops took the man into “custody,” which turned out to mean escorting him off the property and warning him not to return. (Catch and release?)

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Questionable Product Launches: (1) The Demeter Fragrance Library (maker of such “classic” scents as “Dirt,” “Crayon” and “Laundromat”) has added to its line with “Sushi” cologne, reported the website FoodBeast.com in November. Fortunately, the scent is not that of raw fish, but “cooked sticky rice,” seaweed, ginger and lemon essences. (2) A company called Beverly Hills Caviar recently installed three vending machines in the Los Angeles area that sell nothing but varieties of caviar (ranging from pink mother of pearl ($4) to Imperial River Beluga ($500 an ounce).

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“In beautiful La Jolla Cove,” wrote The New York Times in November, describing the cliffside-vista community near San Diego, “art galleries and coffee shops meet a stretch of unspoiled cliffs and Pacific Ocean” — unspoiled, that is, until recently, when seagulls took over.

Now, because of California’s environmental regulations, use of the cove has been restricted, and cleaning the bird droppings from the land is subject to a permit-application process that might take two years. Some residents profess not to mind (“Smells just like the ocean,” said one, “but maybe a little ‘heightened’”) while others are appalled (“As soon as we pulled up, it was like, this is awful”). Even though the smell grows “more acrid by the day,” according to the Times, residents’ and visitors’ only short-term hope is for cleansing by the traditional winter rains.

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Joseph O’Callaghan, 31, was sentenced to nine years in prison by a court in Belfast, Northern Ireland, in November for having robbed an armored-car guard in 2011. He had made off with the guard’s cashbox, but since he had accosted the guard on his way into Northern Bank, and not on his way out, the box contained no money.

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For two months, up to Nov. 20, the water company serving Johnville, Quebec, left standing a utility pole even after the Quebec highway department rebuilt Highway 251 to a location that left the pole squarely in the middle of the new two-lane street (which became a popular sight for fans of incompetence). Fortunately, no accidents around the pole were reported.

S E N D YO U R W E IRD N E W S TO WE IR DNE WS@E A RT HL I N K . N E T O R WWW. NE WS O F T HE WE I R D. C OM

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.19/12.26.2012

Save up to $125 on a new Mac! Holiday Skin Care Packages NOW AVAILABLE

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“A great way to discover the most beautiful you with smoother, brighter and healthier skin” SKINCEUTICALS SK SKINCEUTICAL N U CAL NC AL CA ALS CARE C ARE SOLUTIONS SOLU LU ONS N ($ (($25-$50 ($25 $25 $ $50 5 50 off) f ff • Skin Care Package for Every Skin Type • Anti-Aging System

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OUR LINEUP FEATURES: Lady Gaga Van Halen AC/DC Schism Pink Floyd Be dazzled with brilliant colors and rockin’ music in the Buhl Planetarium on Friday and Saturday nights at the Science Center!

Visit CarnegieScienceCenter.org for shows and times.

Pricing: $2 member/$8 non-member; $5 non-member add-on

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Gifts For The Entire Family!

“Pittsburgh’s Largest Selection”

Come for the Show, Stay for the Shopping!

Our downtown is merry and bright; filled with unique holiday gifts … Appalachia arts, local antiques, estate jewelry, trendy designer boutiques and handmade leather goods.

Disney’s Aladdin Dec. 8, 9, 14, 15, 16, 22 | Met Theatre

Second Sunday Antiques Saturday, Dec. 9 | Mylan Park

Solo Pianist Jim Brickman Tuesday, Dec. 11 | WVU CAC

Moscow Ballet‘s “Great Russian Nutcracker” Thursday, Dec. 13 | WVU CAC

Holiday Hours: Mon - Sat: 9:30am-9pm Sunday: 10am-7pm 23rd Only LittlesShoes.com | 412.521.3530 5850 Forbes Ave. | Squirrel Hill, PA

FOLLOW US ON

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tourmorgantown.com 800.458.7373 20

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.19/12.26.2012

DE

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the

ON

THE QUESTION IS, WHAT WILL BE GOOD WITH YOUR BURGER?

A MID-WINTER PORRIDGE {BY AL HOFF} Tis the season to consider porridge.

One, part of your inevitable New Year’s resolutions is likely to eat better, after the fatty, sugary excesses of the holiday season. Two, when it’s chilly, nothing makes a more satisfying start to the day than a hearty helping of hot cereal. Forget those whisper-thin flakes of bran struggling for life in a sea of cold milk, and tuck into a steaming bowl of something you can stand a spoon in.

You can save time — but not money — by purchasing “pre-made” packets of popular breakfast grains such as oats (with or without add-ins and flavors). But it’s much more costeffective to purchase cereal grains from the bulk aisle. And buying small amounts from the bulk section let’s you try out a variety of grains (and grain-like alternatives), such as barley, amaranth, quinoa, bulgur wheat, buckwheat groats and oat bran.

Making hot cereal from scratch is generally as simple as adding the dry grains to boiling water in a saucepan, until they soften up and get porridge-y.

Then add what you like: milk, sugar, honey, butter, fresh fruit, nuts, dried fruit, granola, bacon bits.

A quarter-cup of some of these grains, such as barley, amaranth and oat bran, are rich enough in fiber to make up nearly a third of your suggested daily requirement. And all of them are guaranteed to fill you up, and — as you face another cold winter’s day — stick to your ribs.

AHOFF@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

the

FEED

For the holidays, days, treat yourself elf to some fancy y hot te. A chocolate pair of Vermont-based nt-based companies — Lake Champlain and d Silly Cow — offer mixes that are available able in area supermarkets, k t or make your own from scratch with quality cocoa powder. Impress your guests with a steaming mug of hot chocolate, topped with whipped cream and garnished with a candy cane.

BUILD-A-

BURGER

{BY ANGELIQUE BAMBERG + JASON ROTH}

I

N THE beginning, restaurant burgers were thin — and cheap. If you wanted more, you’d order a double-decker deal with an extra patty. Then, a couple decades ago, bars started to distinguish themselves by boasting of their bigger burgers, weighing in at six, eight, even 12 ounces. When burgers went upscale a couple years ago, with fancy cuts of beef custom-ground, patty size came back down, but the sandwiches still tended toward jaw-breaking height. Inevitably, things have come full circle.

Stack’d Burgers & Beer derives its name from its practice of offering smaller patties (relatively — at 4 ounces, they actually outweigh the more modest burgers of yore) that can, yes, be stacked for bigger appetites.

Small, simple burgers may not make for the most exciting sell, but Stack’d sets stock by them, resisting the temptation to compensate for diminutive size with gourmet flourishes. While the

{PHOTO BY RENEE ROSENSTEEL}

Half-pound Stack’d Burger with cheddar cheese, bacon, cheese sticks, lettuce, tomatoes, onions and curly fries

menu does mention a custom beef blend, it doesn’t name cuts. And then there’s the synergy between the burger toppings and other bar food: You can have a pierogi on a plate or on a bun, and you can have Thai chili sauce slathered on a wing or a burger. In fact, with the exception of potato skins and bone-in wings, every item Stack’d offers can be had on a burger.

STACK’D BURGERS & BEER 728 Copeland St., Shadyside. 412-682-3354 HOURS: Sun.-Wed. 4 p.m.-midnight; Thu.-Sat. 11 a.m.-1 a.m.

PRICES: $4-9 LIQUOR: Full bar

The result can be a bit bewildering, if not downright overwhelming, as you wield your golf pencil over a lengthy BYOS (“Build Your Own Stack”) checklist of meats, breads, cheeses, toppings and

sauces that reads like the weekly shopping list of a moderately large family.

But it is fun to get inventive. Sriracha honey sauce and tater tots? Blazin’ BBQ and Fritos? Peanut butter and grilled pineapple? Why not! While the options are mostly humble, they’re extensive enough to venture far beyond the typical array of toppings, and if you like you can go pretty upscale: Angelique combined spinach, pesto aioli and tomatoes to create an Italian-style veggie burger that far outshone the boilerplate pizza burger slathered in standard red sauce and provolone.

The veggie patty was excellent enough to merit further discussion. Because it wisely eschewed any fruitless effort at duplicating beef-burger taste or texture, it avoided the Gaines-burgeresque character of many commercial veggie burgers. Instead, it had a crisp exterior crust and soft yet substantial interior that Jason found reminiscent of a falafel.

CONTINUES ON PG. 22

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BUILD-A-BURGER, CONTINUED FROM PG. 21

The burger was comprised of a mash of various grains and legumes, a few finely diced garden vegetables and fresh herbs.

The resulting flavor was sophisticated enough to stand on its own but pliant enough to cooperate with whatever you wanted to stack atop it.

The beef burgers were less remarkable. They had good, robustly meaty flavor, but their texture was slightly tough and chewy. We wouldn’t rave about them to a burger purist. But as a foundation for an exercise in topping extravagance, they sufficed.

Unfortunately, Jason was a bit let down by the toppings on his burger. He went Mexican-style, with pepper-jack cheese, lettuce (we appreciated being able to choose between romaine and iceberg), tomatoes, guacamole and the Stack’d house sauce, which is chipotlebased. The guacamole was so scant, though, that he had to lift the bun to confirm it was even present. Perhaps this an occupational hazard when you offer 19 free toppings as well as 14 more at a buck apiece. The kitchen doesn’t necessarily have a good feel for the best proportions in every unique custom-ordered burger it prepares.

Some items which we didn’t fancy on our burgers we tried as appetizers. Fried mac-n-cheese, in the form of bite-size breaded nuggets, was creamy inside and crunchy outside, but the bland, Velveeta-style cheese sauce didn’t offer much flavor. Fortunately, a cup of spicy ranch sauce served alongside picked up the slack. Tater tots were as good as, or better than, you remember from your childhood, extremely crispy without but fluffy and distinctly potatoflavored within.

A bowl of chili was prepared in the classic style, with ground beef and beans in a slightly spicy, tomato-based broth, and sprinkled with grated cheddar and crunchy Fritos. This was a chili surely worth having on a burger.

Milkshakes have become de rigueur at the modern burger joint, but those at Stack’d seemed like afterthoughts, poorly blended and without much flavor. It was a reminder that Stack’d is as much a bar as it is a restaurant, with a vast, square bartop dominating the lofty second floor.

Of course, burgers and beer are timehonored complements. The only question is, what else will — or won’t — be good with your burger?

THIS WAS A CHILI SURELY WORTH HAVING ON A BURGER.

INF O @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

22

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.19/12.26.2012

On the RoCKs

{BY HAL B. KLEIN}

GOING EASY

Downtown hotel revisits its Prohibition past Pittsburgh drinkers have a long history of defying the prevailing liquor authorities.

In the late 1800s, McKeesport barkeep Kate Hester coined the term “speakeasy” long before it became synonymous with Prohibition drinking dens: She told a boisterous crowd to “Speak easy, boys,” so lawmen wouldn’t be drawn to her unlicensed saloon.

And at Prohibition’s height, according to local legend, Pittsburgh had over more than 50 speakeasies in the Golden Triangle alone. While the locations of many of those taverns are forever forgotten, one was housed in the historic William Penn Hotel.

“We have a very rich history here,” says Bob Page, director of marketing and sales for Omni William Penn. To celebrate that history, celeb the th hotel has restored the th old drinking den, which for years was w used us as a storage room, its past glory. to it “We thought it would “W be really real neat, because of the history of o the hotel, to bring this outlet back,” says Page, who notes that the space needed to undergo a heavy refurbishment years of neglect. after ye Although constructed of modern-day material (augmented by original period accents), the room, simply named Speakeasy, looks as if it belongs to the bygone era of Guys and Dolls. In a nice touch of living history, Pittsburgh Seltzer is spritzed from bottles originally created for the old bar at the hotel.

The cocktail menu, designed by Chicago’s Adam Seger and masterfully executed by bartender Dawn Young, leans heavily on classic pre-Prohibition cocktails like the Old Fashioned, Rob Roy and Manhattan, plus a collection of Collins, flips, and sours.

“I’ve been doing this a long time” — 20 years, in fact — “but this is a whole new level of bartending,” says Young.

This “speakeasy” isn’t terribly secret: It’s fully licensed by the PLCB, and no password is required for entry. Hours are limited, however — it’s open Thursday through Saturday evenings. And, just in case you’re worried about the fuzz busting the joint, the right-hand door on the far wall used to be the escape to the street.

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2013?

New Year’s Eve

This year it’s on December 31* Three great four-course prix fixe menus for you and the ones you love, with optional wine or microbrew pairings and a champagne toast.

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THE FOLLOWING DINING LISTINGS ARE RESTAURANTS RECOMMENDED BY CITY PAPER FOOD CRITICS

Little

1906 Penn Ave. Strip District 412-586-4107

LITTLEBANGKOK INTHESTRIP.COM

DINING LISTINGS KEY

J = Cheap K = Night Out L = Splurge E = Alcohol Served F = BYOB

ALI BABA. 404 S. Craig St., Oakland. 412-682-2829. Service is quick at this Middle Eastern restaurant, designed to feed students and nearby museumstaff lunchers. It can get loud and close during busy times, but the atmosphere is always convivial. A wide-raging menu ensures that carnivores and herbivores alike leave satisfied. JE ALMA PAN-LATIN KITCHEN. 7600 Forbes Ave., Regent Square.

412-727-6320. This venue offers a vibrant spectrum of African-Latin American fusion cuisine, riffing on common elements (lime, legumes and chilies) while bringing out distinctive identities (the rich, stew-like meat dishes of Cuba against the simple, citrusy seafood of the Peruvian coast). Indulge your sweet tooth with a cake filled with dulce de leche. EK CARMI’S. 917 Western Ave., North Side. 412-231-0100. A soulfood restaurant offers traditional home-style Southern cooking on the North Side. On offer: waffles and fried chicken; hearty chickenand-dumpling soup; greens, studded with smoked meat; mashed potatoes; spare ribs; and a stand-out, Cajun shrimp paired with creamy grits. KF

nown! ope ITALIAN IMPORTED WOOD-BURNING OVEN THAT PROMISES A 90 SECOND COOKING TIME

GUARANTEED FRESH INGREDIENTS. 300 LIBERTY AVE. DOWNTOWN stonepizzeria.com

NOLA on the Square {PHOTO BY HEATHER MULL} House cachet of Pamela’s, but the portions are large and the quarters are close. On weekends, it’s one of Pittsburgh’s great gathering places. Try the “Super Bowl” omelet. J DIAMOND MARKET. 430 Market St., Downtown. 412-325-2000.

The tavern-like décor provides a comfortable, unpretentious setting for socializing, and the menu bridges retro and au courant in a now-familiar way, with grownup comfort food and big burgers on brioche buns with fancy toppings. Try the excellent mac-and-cheese, accented with bacon and truffle oil, or the donut-sized onion rings drizzled with balsamic vinegar. KE

“Mama Evans” pancakes are filled with blueberries and bacon, a combination that is smoky, sweet and savory all at once.

Also on offer: muffuleta, a New Orleans-style multi-layered and pressed sandwich. J HARRIS GRILL. 5747 Ellsworth Ave., Shadyside. 412-362-5273. A neighborhood bar and grill (with two outdoor patios) where fun is as important as the fresh food and the cold beer. What else to make of a place that serves “Britney Spears” (chicken tenders on a stick), Cheeses of Nazareth and The Wrongest Dessert Ever, and offers free bacon at the bar on Tuesdays? JE

LEGENDS OF THE NORTH D’S SIX PAX & DOGZ. 1118 S. SHORE. 500 E. North Ave., North Braddock Ave., Regent Square.

Side. 412-321-8000. Despite its 412-241-4666. This established name, Legends is no sports bar: venue is known for its revered It’s a family-friendly restaurant pub fries and the classic wiener with a local flavor. The menu is with kraut (plus plenty of beer to almostexclusively Italian: Offerings wash it down). But don’t include classics such as miss the pizza, with a gnocchi Bolognese and top-notch crust. D’s penne in vodka sauce, continues to raise the and more distinctive preparation of salty, specialties such as filet . www per cheesy, fatty comfort saltimbocca. KF a p ty pghci m food to an art. JE .co MALLORCA. 2228 E. DOUBLE WIDE GRILL. Carson St., South Side. 4122339 E. Carson St., South Side 488-1818. The ambience here (412-390-1111) and 100 Adams is full of Old World charm, with Shoppes, Route 288, Mars (724just a touch of hipness bolstered 553-5212). You may cringe at by attentive service. The fare the “white trash” theme, or feel is Spanish cuisine, and there’s bemused by ordering sautéed no mistaking the restaurant’s shrimp and pineapple-saffron signature dish: paella, featuring rice on a faux TV-dinner tray. But a bright red lobster tail. In warm there’s plenty of good vegan fare, weather, enjoy the outdoor patio beer and a fun filling-stationalong lively Carson Street. KE turned-restaurant ambience. KE NICKY’S THAI KITCHEN. 856 EGGS N’AT. 8556 University Western Ave., North Side. 412Blvd., Moon Township. 412-262321-8424. This restaurant offers 2920. This stylish and cheery diner outstanding Thai cuisine — offers a variety of pancakes, as from familiar options to chef’s well as sandwiches and combo specials that are truly special, platters of breakfast foods. The such as gaprow lad kao (a Thai

FULL LIST ONLINE

{PHOTO BY HEATHER MULL}

D’s Six Pax & Dogz THE CHELSEA GRILLE. 515 Allegheny Ave., Oakmont. 412828-0570. The menu here covers mostly familiar ground, with red-sauce pasta, chops and an unusual predilection for Mornay sauce. But that’s not to say that dinner here is rote. From the fritto baguette to the rarebit-ish Chicken Wisconsin, the classics prove quite surprising. JE DELUCA’S. 2015 Penn Ave., Strip District. 412-566-2195.

DeLuca’s doesn’t have the White

CONTINUES ON PG. 26

24

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.19/12.26.2012

The 5th Judicial District of Pennsylvania and Allegheny County Pretrial Services urges you to enjoy your weekend out in Pittsburgh but

make the right choice,

donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t drink and drive.

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DINING OUT, CONTINUED FROM PG. 24

Happy New Year aGift for You

NOLA ON THE SQUARE. 24 Market Square, Downtown.

412-471-9100. Offering a boldly refined take on straight-up, traditional New Orleans food, NOLAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s menu is an invitation to kick back, relax and savor the flavors: cheesy griddle grits with a chunky tomato sauce and green beans; Creole tartiflette with camembert, mustard sauce and bacon; oyster stew; and catfish strips paired with spicy papaya. KE

Buy 1 Dinner get the* 2nd Dinner 1/2 oďŹ&#x20AC; OF EQUAL OR LESSER VALUE. MONDAY, TUESDAY, WEDNESDAY AND THURSDAY ONLY.

*Good on all lunch and dinner menus.

Offer begins January 2, 2013 to February 28, 2013 Void with any other coupons, discounts or buffet.

OPEN NEW YEARâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S EVE until 10pm.

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OPEN CHRISTMAS DAY AT 11AM ROBINSON TOWN CENTRE 2OBINSON #ENTRE $RIVE s OPEN DAILY FOR LUNCH & DINNER

26

stir-fry) and salmon mango curry. The flavors here are best described as intense, yet without overwhelming the fresh ingredients. KF

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.19/12.26.2012

STATION SQUARE 3TATION 3QUARE s bucadibeppo.com

PALAZZO 1837 RISTORANTE. 1445 Washington Road, North Strabane. 724-223-1837. This restored mansion provides a charming setting for fine dining.

The menu is primarily Italian, with traditional but thoughtfully considered dishes. The hearty, but refined, farfalle rustica pairs wild-boar sausage with wild mushrooms and a sherry sage cream sauce, while housemade crepes substitute for noodles in the crepe lasagna. LE STATION STREET. 6290 Broad St., East Liberty. 412-365-2121.

A long-standing neighborhood hot-dog joint now offers updates on street food, including: exotically dressed hot dogs, fries and poutine, a selection of modern tacos, and ramen with house-made noodles. JF STEELHEAD BRASSERIE AND WINE BAR. Marriott City Center, 112 Washington Ave., Downtown. 412-394-3474. In this upscale hotel restaurant, the straightforward menu promises that the aquatic name holds more than brand value. While entrĂŠes include seafood and other meat in almost equal proportion, the soups and starters are dominated by the former, with old favorites like jumbo shrimp cocktail matched with more contemporary offerings. LE TANA ETHIOPIAN CUISINE. 5929 Baum Blvd., East Liberty.

412-665-2770. The menu offers a variety of stewed meats, legumes and veggies, all rich with warm spices. Order the sampler platters for the best variety of flavors, and ask for a glass of tej, a honeybased wine that is the perfect accompaniment. KE THAI GOURMET. 4505 Liberty Ave., Bloomfield. 412-681-4373.

Located in a narrow former lunchroom, Thai Gourmet is the casual, no-nonsense and no-frills member of Pittsburghâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Thai restaurant club. The prices are on the low end, but the food quality is high and the portions are huge. The decor mixes Asian themes with diner kitsch in a delightful way. JF

offMenu {BY AMYJO BROWN}

FOOD GIFTS TO GO

Strip District offers edible gifts for everyone on your nice list IF YOUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;VE waited until the last minute to get your

Christmas gifts, Pittsburghâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Strip District is a one-stop for anyone on your list who likes to eat. To cut down your shopping time, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve made a list of our favorite gift ideas: 1. Bacon of the Month Club th â&#x20AC;&#x201D; available at tthe Pittsburgh Public Market, at P the Crested Duck th counter. A four-month counter pound-and-a-half of artisan membership provides a pound-and bacon each month. Next yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rrotation includes â&#x20AC;&#x153;vanilla-infused â&#x20AC;&#x153;vanilla inf d bourbonâ&#x20AC;? bacon, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Kentucky BBQ baconâ&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;Thai Curry and Lemongrassâ&#x20AC;? bacon.

Membership comes with a snazzy â&#x20AC;&#x153;I love baconâ&#x20AC;?

T-shirt to wrap and put under the tree. Price: $70.

2. If meat isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t an option, consider Penn Macâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Cheese of the Month Club. The package, del delivered to the doorstep, includes two pounds of four different cheeses each month, typically grouped ed by region or theme such as â&#x20AC;&#x153;A Taste of Spainâ&#x20AC;? or â&#x20AC;&#x153;Hot, Hot, Hot.â&#x20AC;? Sign them up for a threemonth try â&#x20AC;&#x201D; or go forr a longer six-month or full-year commitment. Pric Price: $29.95 per month.

3. There is nothing as heavenly as real hot coc cocoa.

Intelligentsiaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s single-origin Ghanaian cocoa is, as noted on its website and as I can personally attest, â&#x20AC;&#x153;just pure chocolate goodness.â&#x20AC;? Pick it up at 21st Street Coffee on Smallman Street. (A pound of 21st Street coffee is also a great gift for the coffee addict in your life.) Price: Under $10.

4. Mon Aimeeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Chocolates. There are so many choices here, in such a varying range of prices, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re guaranteed to ďŹ nd a suitable, prettily packaged option. Even so, I suggest going straight toward the back to the jars of savory chocolates; some are infused with rosemary, lavender, sea salt and hot chiles. ros stocking-stuffers. Price: They are perfect p sampler packages start at $1. sam 5. Grab a gift certiďŹ cate for Enricoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s breadmaking class, E held on the last Sunday of every h month from 10 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. m Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll learn how to make rustic Th Italian and whole-wheat loaves, Itali plus the class includes a hearty taste of wine from the ownerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pribrunch and often a tas vate stash. Price: $65.

A B ROW N @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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LOCAL

WE HIGHLIGHT THE PERSONAL FAVORITES OF SOME OF OUR REGULAR MUSIC CONTRIBUTORS

BEAT

{BY AARON JENTZEN}

Sleep Experiments fill the air at the North Side Elks Lodge ballroom. {PHOTO COURTESY OF AARON JENTZEN}

Paper lanterns light the proscenium, ending a quarter-century slumber. Translucent shapes with dim skeletons cast a gauzy glow over the 200 listeners sitting on heavy wooden benches and the newly swept floor. At center stage is a pair of antlers — homage to the Elks’ heyday, when meetings drew 3,000 to this room.

Sleep Experiments begins filling the cavernous ballroom with lush harmonies, ambient tones and ghostly melodies. The trio, formed four years ago, comprises Phil Johnson (electric guitar), Phil Jacoby (acoustic guitar) and Morgan Stewart (keys and lead vocals). Tonight, they’ve swelled their ranks with backing vocalists, drums and bass, cello and pedal steel.

When choosing a venue for the Dec. 8 release of their self-titled album, “we wanted to create a space that’s ours,” says Johnson, “a communal space where everyone just floats around in the music.” He recalled an earlier visit to the third floor of the North Side Elks Lodge. Despite decades of dust, inadequate electricity and crumbling ceiling tiles, its “dream-like quality” harmonized with the band’s aesthetics.

Stewart was dismayed when she saw the rough conditions, with only days before the show. Yet sweat, creativity and help from Brad Richards — at 37, one of the chapter’s youngest Elks — transformed the space. An old radiator grounded the electrical equipment. Richards created mood lighting by wrapping unsightly scaffolding with white Christmas lights and plastic sheets — making the room “more of a sacred space.”

For musician and architect Greg Dutton, the stage design helped convey Sleep Experiments’ identity; a local band’s release show, he adds, “is the one time to pitch the idea of what your band is.” The rapt audience impressed writer and musician Bob Melvin, with “a level of respect I rarely see even at bigger shows.”

While the Lodge holds concerts downstairs (including the well-known weekly Banjo Club), Richards says third-floor renovations are on hold pending a $50,000 roof repair. Since the show, Stewart has received several emails asking about booking the space. “I just chuckle to myself,” she says — “you have no idea what went into this!”

2012

ELK EXPERIMENTS

O T C I S U M R E B M E REM {BY ANDY MULKERIN}

T

Year’s best: Clockwise from top left. Oddisee, Majeure {PHOTO COURTESY OF JOSEPH ALOYSIUS TURNBULL III}, The Harlan Twins {PHOTO BY HEATHER MULL}, Sharon Van Etten {PHOTO COURTESY OF DUSDIN CONDREN}, Dirty Projectors {PHOTO COURTESY OF JASON FRANK ROTHENBERG}

HE HOLIDAYS are here, and for con-

tentious music-lovers the best present of all is always speculation on the year’s best and worst albums, videos and live shows. We at City Paper have opted to take a more open-ended approach, highlighting the personal favorites (and least favorites) of a number of our regular music contributors. Of course it’s not comprehensive, but it should bring back some memories of recent months, and spark some discussion.

BEST NEW RELEASE Frank Ocean: Channel Orange Frank Ocean is a great writer. The combination of his harmonic vocal melodies and the electroneo-soul production generated one of the best R&B albums in recent time. — Rory D. Webb

Andy Stott:

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

Luxury Problems To stream Sleep Experiments’ album, visit www.sleepexperiments.com. For Elks Lodge booking information, contact Brad Richards at 412-321-1834.

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This release is already at the top of a lot of writers’ “best of” lists, with good reason. It’s a profound statement on the rich musicality

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.19/12.26.2012

that techno can have, that most people aren’t aware exists. I’d go as far as to say that it’s a “best of the decade” album, and we’re only two years in. — Kate Magoc

BEST LOCAL RELEASE The Harlan Twins: Old Familiar Ranging from cute hoe-down ditties to slow burners a la psychedelic CCR, this release howed the local band’s development and flexibility.

Both Carrie Battle and James Hart flex their considerable vocal talents, and it’s all put down masterfully by Machine Age Studios’ Joe Bartolotta.

Essential Pittsburgh stuff. — Andy Mulkerin

Majeure: Solar Maximum Zombi drummer A.E. Paterra’s Vangelis/ Carpenter-inspired solo project has never sounded like anything else being produced in Pittsburgh. Here, he pushes his love of classic prog and vintage electronic movie scores beyond the boundaries of mere fetishization. This is an album of restless

ambition and epic scope, zooming in and out of desolate soundscapes with hypnotic tapestries of classic synthesizers and stadiumsized drum parts. — Patrick Bowman

BEST LIVE SHOW Sharon Van Etten: Carnegie Lecture Hall, April 28, and Schenley Plaza, June 22 Both of Sharon Van Etten’s performances with her full band this year contained moments that were truly breathtaking; her latest album, Tramp, has intense moments and meditative moments, and when performing live, she translates them exquisitely. Backup vocalist Heather Woods Broderick is a crucial part of the formula. — AM

Oddisee: Shadow Lounge, Oct. 26 The rapper/producer hailing from Washington, D.C., made his way to the ’Burgh for a second time in recent years, this time with a backing band. Although he was good the previous time, this time he was great — controlling

the crowd with each word as he tore through his latest album release, People See What They Hear. — RDW

BEST SHOW THAT NO ONE SAW Sadgiqacea and Hivelords: Howlers, June 10 En route to Pittsburgh, these Philly-based tourmates ran into some van trouble, making them several hours late to the show. The four or so people who hung around enjoyed an outstanding evening of deep, dark sludge and doom, possibly made darker by the sour moods of the band members. Luckily, both bands return to Howlers before the end of the year, on Dec. 27. — Margaret Welsh

BEST TOUR THAT DIDN’T COME TO PITTSBURGH Jack White Blunderbuss was a beast, and while I know he was splitting time between festival dates, a European tour and some choice venues in different cities, I was seriously bruised that he skipped over Pittsburgh. — PB

MORE FAVORITES (AND DISAPPOINTMENTS) FROM OUR MUSIC WRITERS ARE AVAILABLE ONLINE AT WWW.PGHCITYPAPER.COM Morrissey Morrissey does not have fans. He has devotees.

So when the man passes through, they pay homage in earnest, rushing the stage and risking injury from Event Security for the chance to embrace him. His 2009 show at the Carnegie Music Hall of Pittsburgh was lovely, but not quite in keeping with his grandeur. Heinz Hall, the venue he announced for his 2012 tour, was suitably majestic. But he cancelled the tour to return to his ailing mother, leaving fans in the familiar position of feeling betrayed by their hero while sympathizing with him. Fortunately, the concert has been rescheduled for January.

Like the protagonist of one his songs, fans are balancing their cynicism against very cautious optimism. — Ian Thomas

MOST DISAPPOINTING RELEASE Animal Collective: Centipede Hz Too many cooks in the kitchen at this point made for a fractured album that never coalesced into anything particularly interesting.

Simply put: They aren’t fun anymore. — PB

Howlin Rain: The Russian Wilds Ethan Miller’s Southern-rock outfit wowed me with its first two releases, then took a few years (and the help of Rick Rubin) to come up with this — unfortunately, a bloated release that lacks the narrative focus of the previous couple.

(Disappointment is relative, though; there are plenty of records that came out this year that are much worse.) — AM AMULKE R IN@ PGHC ITY PAP ER.CO M

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CD REVIEWS

need y cash?

{BY ANDY MULKERIN}

a day d i y r l e o v h day - e ll

ya u b e W

RADE MPS T • SELL UMS • A RDS • Y BU S • DR EYBOA K R S G U I TAS O U N D • T R U M E N T P R O A N D I N S , Monroeville y B

w enn H S I C P m a W i l l i - 8 5 - M U 0am-8pm d l O 1 4 1 2 turday 1 434 m -Sa pa.co y e l l a i d v ... roe Mon dmon E O N L I N E n u o r ABL icgo .mus W AVA I L w w w NO LIKE US ON FACEBOOK

FOLLOW US ON TWITTER

blogh.pghcitypaper.com

Work yourself into a lather.

Rinse.

Repeat.

{PHOTO COURTESY OF TIM ISRAEL}

The powers that be: Dirty Faces (from left, Julie Chill, Bill Baxter, Mike Bonello, Terry Carroll)

ROMANTIC POWERS {BY MARGARET WELSH} ONLY JUST audible over the Monday-night

din of Gooski’s back room, Dirty Faces front man Terry “T-Glitter” Carroll breaks down his lyrical content. “My songs are all about sex, drugs and authority. Sex, drugs and the police state.”

“And romance!” adds guitarist Julie “Breakadawn Powers” Chill. “There’s a lot of romance in your songs.”

Carroll laughs at this assessment, but bassist Mike “Tricky Powers” Bonello agrees. It’s not a traditional kind of romance, though: “It’s a romance fora lifestyle.”

And it’s true: As with all good rock ’n’ roll, living hard, fast and bloodshot is rarely so appealing as when presented by the Dirty Faces. And with their new record, Underground Economy — the last in what Carroll calls the “Age of American Terror Trilogy”— there’s also a strange kind of romanticism for post9/11 America.

THE DIRTY FACES WITH THE BUMPS, THE WORKING POOR, TINY LITTLE HELP

10 p.m. Sat. Dec 22. Gooskis, 3117 Brereton St., Polish Hill. $5. 412-681-1658

Each installment of the trilogy — the first two of which were released

by Jagjaguwar imprint Brah — deals with a different pillar of American life.

2005’s Superamerican explored patriotism, to the tune of smoky basement conspiracy theory-fueled, Stooges-style rock. In 2006, Get Right With God got weird with religion, taking the Superamerican sound off-road, interweaving catchy punk freak-outs with heavier musical detours.

Underground Economy — you can probably guess what it’s about — is a tightly wound collection of catchy, weird, danceable rock songs, delivered with Carroll’s trademark yowl. One memorable track, “Off My Leash”, sounds like a punk reworking of Harry Nilsson’s “Jump Into the Fire”; another, “She’s On It (Heavy Dollars),” channels the dirtiest of ’70s funk.

Like its predecessors, Carroll says, “this is definitely a pre-Obama record. There’s no optimism.” The band started recording tracks for the record in 2007, but were held up by a variety of issues, some financial, some legal. (One song, “48 States,” is about not being allowed to leave the continental U.S.) Mostly, though, the band just wanted to take its time.

“With the last record, Brah wanted [it] quickly,” Bonello says. “We came up with a lot of stuff in the studio, and that was very nerve-wracking,” With Underground Economy, “there’s a lot going on but it’s more refined than the other stuff.

When you come up with something in the studio, you don’t have a chance to take it on the road and find the core. On this record we were really able to do that.”

The group will release Underground Economy — vinyl-only — on Rickety Records, which Bonello started in 1994 while in the band Tiny Little Help. The label became an umbrella for the “Rickety Rock” scene, which included acts like The Working Poor, The Bumps, the Johnsons, and others — some of whom will appear at the release show, reuniting for what Bonello is calling the Rickety Holiday Party.

The Dirty Faces, including drummer Bill “Sweet Willie Powers” Baxter, are currently operating as a stripped-down (for them) four-piece. Now that they’ve finished the trilogy, they’re free to move on. “Everything is supposed to end on the 21st, and the release is on the 22nd,” Bonello says. “We counting on existence continuing, but it will be a new phase.”

MWE L SH @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.19/12.26.2012

THE GARMENT DISTRICT “NATURE-NURTURE” (SONIC BOOM REMIX) B/W “MIRACULOUS METAL”/”VIGOR” (LA STATION RADAR)

The A-side of this 7-inch is a gorgeously weird mix of one of the songs from Jennifer Baron’s 2011 solo effort, re-tooled by Sonic Boom, of Spacemen 3 — it runs a jackrabbit’s course between an otherworldy realm (foregrounding Lucy Blehar’s vocals) and an 8-bit videogame world. The B-side features two new tracks: the simple, soundscapey “Miraculous Metal,” and the more complex, sample-filled “Vigor,” a pastiche of disembodied sounds from everyday contemporary life. The music itself is worth having; with the beautiful packaging (and heavy-duty vinyl), this one is a must-have.

THE AWFUL WAFFLES EAT BREAKFAST EVERY DAY (SELF-RELEASED)

A 10-track full-length full of novelty tunes, pop-culture references, pointed jokes and dirty humor from the local rockers. Great production and performances are turned in on songs about stuff like the bright side of breaking up and refusing to subscribe to gender norms. The usual pop-cult figures show up as well: Harry Potter, Star Wars, robots, zombies. If that’s your thing, or you like the spot where Bratmobile, breakfast and rockabilly meet, this one’s for you.

PAIRDOWN AESTHETIC GUITAR (SELF-RELEASED)

Pairdown’s great skill is beautiful guitar work; the duo of Raymond Morin and David Leicht comprises an abundance of talent at finger-picking acoustic work.

Here, the group presents a new full-length of tunes, some with vocals and some without, that combine classic blues and rags (as on “Struttin’ Rag”) with methods and sounds more often associated with classical music (as on a guitar version of Satie’s “Gymnopedie No. 2”). Fans of Leo Kottke and John Fahey-style guitar music will want this album.

AMULKERIN@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

{PHOTO COURTESY OF NIKKO LAMERE}

CRITICS’ PICKS

Krewella

[POP-PUNK] + FRI., DEC. 21

[INDIE ROCK] + FRI., DEC. 21

For a little band from Pittsburgh, The SpacePimps aren’t doing too badly for themselves. The trio was chosen to open for Sum 41 on the Pittsburgh stop of the Does This Look Infected? Anniversary Tour last month and even recently had a song featured on MTV’s The Challenge. No big deal. If you’re into nofrills, back-to-basics pop-punk, check out The SpacePimps tonight at the Altar Bar for their XXX-Mas Show with The Switch Kids, My Cardboard Spaceship Adventure, Trophies and Dash City Skyline, and celebrate the end of the world in style.

Amanda Wishner 7:30 p.m. 1620 Penn Ave., Strip District. $10-12. All ages. 412206-9719 or www. thealtarbar.com

Chestnuts? Check. Open fire? Check. Egg nog?

Check. Ugly Sweater Show featuring School of Athens and Triggers? Shit! Almost missed the annual tradition — fortunately, there’s still time to make it to Shadow Lounge tonight for the eighth installment, with The Yellers (formerly the Paul Luc Band) playing as well.

The all-local bill is traditionally a fun one, and Triggers are coming off a banner year, with the release of their long-awaited album {PHOTO COURTESY Forcing a Smile.

OF HUGH TWYMAN} Don we now our Cosby specials! Andy Mulkerin 8:30 p.m.

5972 Baum Blvd., East Liberty. $6. 412363-8277 or www. shadowlounge.net

[HOLIDAY-ISH] + SAT., DEC. 22

It’s the most wonderful time of the year for [ELECTRONIC] + Garfield Artworks FRI., DEC. 21 proprietor and local If you’re into elecpromoter Manny tronic dance music, Theiner: Each of the keep your eye on past eight years, Krewella. Although Triggers he’s put together it might be a new the Festivus show, name to most, the based on the madetrio first got its start up holiday from back in 2007 when Seinfeld. This year EDM producer Kris it’s back at Howlers Trindl, alias Rain in Bloomfield, and Man, joined forces stars, as it often does, Endless Mike and the with sisters Jahan and Yasmine Yousaf. Since Beagle Club, the big ol’ folk ensemble from then, the Chicago natives have continued to Johnstown. Also playing: Shana Falana turn heads with their slick vocals and innova(from New York City) and locals Will tive mix of electro, house and dubstep. The Simmons and the Babka Bunch and band recently released the hard-hitting Play Christopher Ray. Rounding out the evening Hard EP, its debut, over the summer. Catch will be Seinfeld trivia, presumably with Krewella tonight at the Rex Theater; N3AKO some very Manny prizes. AM 9 p.m. 4509 and Witness open. AW 10 p.m. 1602 E. Carson St., South Side. $20. 17 and over. 412-381-6811 Liberty Ave., Bloomfield. $6. 412-682-0320 or www.rextheater.com or www.howlerscoyotecafe.com

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Empower Yourself. South Hills Power Yoga teaches Inspired Power Yoga that ignites the body and mind through the cultivation of breath and presence. Classes incorporate a wide variety of inspirational themes & occasional music that fuel the powerful current created by the asana flow. Offering both heated and non-heated classes. Accessible for all levels.

S C R E E N

Located in Dormont 3045 West Liberty Ave. And opening this winter in Waterdam Centre - Peters Township

www.southhillspoweryoga.com +

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NEW YEAR’S EVE SOUTHERN COMFORT BAND 8:30PM-12:30AM COMPLIMENTARY MIDNIGHT TOAST. FULL MENU. NEVER A COVER. ENJOY DINNER STAY TO PARTY!

LIKE US ON FACEBOOK @BLUE_DINING

1 7 0 1 D U N C A N AV E N U E N O R T H H I L L S 51 S. 12TH ST. • SOUTHSIDE TRUTHLOUNGE.COM 412-381-9600

New Years Eve is just around the corner!

DINNER AND TOASTING IN THE NEW YEAR! New Years Eve - $75.00 Two seatings for Dinner 5:30PM or 8PM

Includes Wine Pairing, After Party, Midnight Toast and 2am Breakfast!

Seating is limited to 34 people per seating and tickets will be pre-sold.

PARTY WITH US AFTER DINNER! $25.00 - Doors open at 10pm DJ, midnight toast and 2am Breakfast!

Tickets will be pre-sold and we are limiting the number of people to 75.

MAKE YOUR RESERVATIONS TODAY! LIMITED SEATINGS AVAILABLE!

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W W W. B L U E D I N I N G . C O M

412.369.9050

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PITTSBURGH’S IN THE

TO SUBMIT A LISTING: HTTP://HAPPENINGS.PGHCITYPAPER.COM

412.316.3388 (FAX) + 412.316.3342 X194 (PHONE)

{ALL LISTINGS MUST BE SUBMITTED BY 9 A.M. FRIDAY PRIOR TO PUBLICATION}

ROCK/POP THU 20

MONDAY · DECEMBER 31 · 6PM-MIDNIGHT ALL ACCESS BUTTONS ON SALE NOW

$ ADVANCE | $10 $8 $ DOOR | KIDS FIVE & UNDER FREE! AT A PARTICIPATING GIANT EAGLE | BOX OFFICE AT THEATER SQUARE

412-456-6666| FIRSTNIGHTPGH.ORG

G IN R U T A E F GENDS FUNKY NEW ORLEANS LE

PRESENTING SPONSOR

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.19/12.26.2012

CIOPPINO SEAFOOD CHOPHOUSE BAR. Terrance Vaughn Trio. Strip District.

412-281-6593.

ELWOOD’S PUB. The Jimmy Suvoy Experiment. Cheswick.

724-265-1181.

HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. Bearkat, Buffalo Buffalo.

Bloomfield. 412-682-0320.

LAVA LOUNGE. Slim Forsythe & his New Payday Loners, Grand Piano, Pete Bush & the Hoi Polloi.

South Side. 412-431-5282.

MR. SMALLS THEATER. Restricted Highways, Round Two, Civil Riot, Bad Acid, Under Indictment.

Millvale. 866-468-3401.

REX THEATER. The Wurms.

South Side. 412-381-6811.

RILEY’S POUR HOUSE. Ray Lanich. Carnegie. 412-279-0770.

SMILING MOOSE. Dying Fetus, Revocation, Malignancy, Cerebral Bore, No Reason To Live, Wrought Iron. South Side. 412-431-4668.

THUNDERBIRD CAFE. Paul Labrise, Still Not Sober.

Lawrenceville. 412-682-0177.

WOOLEY BULLY’S. The Dave Iglar Band. New Brighton. 724-494-1578.

FRI 21 ALTAR BAR. The SpacePimps.

Strip District. 412-263-2877.

CARNEGIE MUSIC HALL. Rusted Root. Oakland. 412-622-3131.

CLAIRTON AMERICAN LEGION. Daniels & McClain.

Clairton. 412-400-1141.

CLUB CAFE. Good Brother Earl (Early). South Side. 412-431-4950.

DV8 ESPRESSO BAR & GALLERY. Channel Scorpion News, Rugburn, Egality, Savage Planet. Greensburg.

724-219-0804.

THE FALLOUT SHELTER. Downfall, Without Fail, Rule of Two. Aliquippa. 724-375-5080.

GARFIELD ARTWORKS. The Shift, The Mast, Colter Harper.

Dave Whaley Benefit. Garfield.

412-361-2262.

GOOSKI’S. Slim Cessna, Wammo.

Polish Hill. 412-681-1658.

HARD ROCK CAFE. Code Whiskey, Distant Signals. Station Square.

412-728-1953.

HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. Moldies & Monsters, Nightly Standard. Howlers Annual Holiday Party & Benefit for Toys 4 Tots.

Bloomfield. 412-682-0320.

LINDEN GROVE. Switch.

Castle Shannon. 412-882-8687.

OLD TRAFFORD SPORTS CLUB. Ghenghis Khan, Shattered.

Trafford. 724-640-5809.

REX THEATER. KREWELLA, N3ako, Witness. South Side. 412-381-6811.

SMILING MOOSE. Last Day On Earth Fest, Blackmarket Bodyparts, Storm King, Lycosa, Sikes. South Side. 412-431-4668.

THUNDERBIRD CAFE. The Bessemers. Lawrenceville.

412-682-0177.

SAT 22 3 LAKES GOLF CLUB. Tubby Daniels Band. Penn Hills.

412-793-7111.

BAVINGTON ROAD HOUSE. Montford. Burgettstown.

724-899-2448.

BELVEDERE’S. Nicos Gun. Lawrenceville. 412-687-2555.

CATTIVO. Mud City Manglers.

Lawrenceville. 412-687-2157.

CLUB CAFE. Smear feat. Mike Marks (Early) Locks & Dams,

TheMeToos, The Color Fleet (Late).

South Side. 412-431-4950.

DOWNEY’S HOUSE. Gone South.

Robinson. 412-489-5631.

DURAN’S. Mr. Munster. Carnegie.

412-276-7803.

EXCUSES BAR & GRILL. Ray Lanich. South Side.

412-431-4090.

HAMBONE’S. Ye Olde Royal Shithouse Players w/ Mellissa Quinn. Lawrenceville.

412-681-4318.

HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. Shana Falana, Endless Mike & the Beagle Club, Will Simmons & the Babka Bunch, Christopher Ray. Festivus VII. Bloomfield. 412682-0320.

THE PRAHA. The Dave Iglar Band.

Tarentum. 724-224-2112.

REX THEATER. Once Nothing.

South Side. 412-381-6811.

MP 3 MONDAY SLIM FORSYTHE {PHOTO BY HEATHER MULL}

PARTYCULTURAL DISTRICT

Each week, we bring you a new MP3 from a local artist. This week’s track is a holiday tune from Slim Forsythe; stream and download “Steeltown Christmas” on our music blog, FFW>>, at pghcitypaper.com.

ROCHESTER INN HARDWOOD GRILLE. Paparazzi. Ross.

412-364-8166.

ROOSTERS ROADHOUSE. Daniels & McClain. Bridgeville.

412-221-1543.

TJ’S HIDEAWAY. Earth Quakers.

Evans City. 724-789-7858.

Saturday Reggae w/ Dan Dabber.

Lawrenceville. 412-251-0097.

THE NEW AMSTERDAM. DJ Vex. Lawrenceville. 412-904-2915.

ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance.

South Side. 412-431-2825.

S BAR. Pete Butta. South Side.

412-481-7227.

SUN 23

SUN 23

HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. Joe Dep, Lost In the Holler, Round Black Ghost. Joe Dep & Friends Holiday Pickin’ Party. Bloomfield.

412-682-0320.

RIVERS CASINO. DJs Bill Bara & Digital Dave. North Side.

412-231-7777.

SMILING MOOSE. The Upstage Nation. DJ EzLou & N8theSk8.

Electro, post punk, industrial, new wave, alternative dance. South Side. 412-431-4668.

WED 26 ARSENAL BOWLING LANES. Jeff Miller. Lawrenceville.

412-683-5993.

CLUB CAFE. Bill Deasy. South Side.

412-431-4950.

ROCK BOTTOM. Good Brother Earl. Waterfront. 412-462-2739.

DJS

TUE 25 ECLIPSE LOUNGE. Groove Tuesdays. Djs provided by 720 Music. Lawrenceville.

412-251-0097.

WED 26

THU 20 AVA BAR & LOUNGE. Thursdays in AVA. Pete Butta, McFly, Bamboo, & Red. East Liberty. 412-363-8277.

BELVEDERE’S. Neon w/ DJ hatesyou. 80s Night. Lawrenceville.

412-687-2555.

CLUB TABOO. DJ Matt & Gangsta Shak. Homewood.

412-969-0260.

ECLIPSE LOUNGE. Throwdown Thursdays w/ Tracksploitation.

Lawrenceville. 412-251-0097.

INN-TERMISSION LOUNGE. Transmission: Classic Alternative Dance Party. South Side.

412-381-3497.

FRI 21 BACKSTAGE BAR AT THEATRE SQUARE. Salsa Fridays. DJ Jeff Shirey, DJ Carlton, DJ Paul Mitchell.

Downtown. 412-456-6666.

CABARET AT THEATER SQUARE. Salsa Friday. Downtown.

412-325-6769.

CAPRI PIZZA AND BAR. Bombo Claat Fridays. Reggae/dancehall w/ Vybz Machine Intl. Sound System, Fudgie Springer. East Liberty.

412-363-1250.

COOGAN’S. JENESIS’ “All Gold Everything”. Feat. DJ Bamboo. www.jenesismagazine. com. South Side.

DIESEL. DJ Havana Brown. South Side. 412-651-4713.

ECLIPSE LOUNGE. House Music w/ Hana. Lawrenceville.

412-251-0097.

ONE 10 LOUNGE. DJ Goodnight, DJ Rojo. Downtown. 412-874-4582.

ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance.

South Side. 412-431-2825.

RUGGER’S PUB. 80s Night w/ DJ Connor. South Side. 412-381-1330.

AVA BAR & LOUNGE. DJ Outtareach. East Liberty.

412-363-8277.

BLOOMFIELD BRIDGE TAVERN. Fuzz! Drum & bass weekly.

Bloomfield. 412-682-8611.

CABARET AT THEATER SQUARE. Ritmo Wednesdays. DJ Juan Diego, DJ Carla. Downtown.

412-325-6769.

SPOON. Spoon Fed. Hump day chill. House music. aDesusParty.

East Liberty. 412-362-6001.

HIP HOP/R&B

DECK THE DECKS

CAPRI PIZZA AND BAR. Saturday Night Meltdown. Top 40, Hip Hop, Club, R&B, Funk & Soul. East Liberty. 412-362-1250.

CATTIVO. Superstar DJ Terry Kicks. Lawrenceville. 412-687-2157.

DIESEL. DJ CK. South Side.

412-431-8800.

ECLIPSE LOUNGE. Do Sum’n

ELWOOD’S PUB. John Farley.

Cheswick. 724-265-1181.

MULLANEY’S HARP & FIDDLE. Tim & John Christmas Singalong.

Strip District. 412-642-6622.

OLIVE OR TWIST. The Vagrants.

Downtown. 412-255-0525.

PITTSBURGH PUBLIC MARKET. The Squirrel Hillbillies, Lost in the Holler. Strip District. 412-281-4505.

THUNDERBIRD CAFE. Mon River Ramblers. Lawrenceville.

412-682-0177.

We asked local musicianss and music luminaries to tell us about some of their favorite holiday tunes.

DJ J. Malls

SUN 23

“I Like Christmas,” by Bruce Haack & The Robot Man. I’ve never found Bruce Haack’s actual Christmas LP, but my understanding is that the 45 I have is from a collaboration he did with Tiny Tim in 1981. They made an entire children’s Christmas record, which I’ve never heard, and the single that I have is a split featuring Tiny Tim’s “Zoot Zoot Zoot Here Comes Santa in His New Space Suit” on the A-side. I’d recommend this for anybody into quirky, old electronic music, or things of that nature.

CARNEGIE LIBRARY, OAKLAND. World Kaleidoscope: East End Appalachian Jam All-Stars.

Oakland. 412-622-3151.

PITTSBURGH PUBLIC MARKET. Broke, Stranded & Ugly. Strip District. 412-281-4505.

TUE 25 BOCKTOWN BEER & GRILL. Singer Songwriter Night. North Fayette. 412-788-2333.

Joy Ike

WED 26

I think I would have to say “O Come, O Come Emmanuel.”

ALLEGHENY ELKS LODGE #339. Pittsburgh Banjo Club.

Wednesdays. North Side.

412-321-1834.

HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. Nathan Reich & Keenan O’Meara.

Bloomfield. 412-682-0320.

PARK HOUSE. Dodgy Mountain Boys & the Park House Jammers.

North Side. 412-596-2743.

Pam Simmons, Motorpsychos “This Christmas,” by Donnie Hathaway: That’s weird, but I secretly like it. Although, I guess it won’t be a secret anymore.

FRI 21 ROCK ROOM. M.C. Homeless, Stillborn Identity, Trollkicker, Cerebral Apophysis, Curse Born.

Polish Hill. 724-600-5821.

SUN 23 THE HANDLE BAR & GRILLE. Gary Prisby. Canonsburg.

724-746-4227.

SAT 22 CJ’S. The New Show Band.

Strip District. 412-642-2377.

WED 26

BLUES THU 20 CHAMP’S SPORTS GRILL AND LOUNGE. Mr. B & the Bad Boys Band. North Versailles.

412-829-5100.

CAFE NOTTE. Billy Heid.

Emsworth. 412-761-2233.

THE R BAR. Bobby Hawkins Back Alley Blues. Dormont.

412-445-5279.

THU 20 FULL Dane LIST E ANDYS. Vannatter.

IN L N O ww.

FRI 21

SAT 22

Unknown.

THE VALLEY HOTEL. Churchview Saints. Jefferson Hills.

412-233-9800.

SAT 22 ANDYS. Maureen Budway.

Downtown. 412-773-8884.

HEINZ HALL. Highmark Holiday Pops. Downtown. 412-392-4900.

FRI 21 HEINZ HALL. Highmark Holiday Pops. Downtown. 412-392-4900.

SAT 22 ANDREW CARNEGIE FREE LIBRARY MUSIC HALL. Pittsburgh Historical Society Orchestra.

Recreation of a parlor concert from Christmas in 1862. Carnegie.

412-276-3456 x 7.

HEINZ HALL. Highmark Holiday Pops. Downtown. 412-392-4900.

MANCHESTER CRAFTSMEN’S GUILD. Pittsburgh Jazz Orchestra.

North Side. 412-322-0800.

MISSIONARY TEMPLE MINISTRIES. Loren Kirkland & Missionary Temple Praise & Worship Team. East Liberty.

412-362-3636.

PALACE THEATRE. Westmoreland Symphony Orchestra. Home for the Holidays concert. Greensburg.

724-837-1850.

SUN 23 HEINZ HALL. Highmark Holiday Pops. Downtown. 412-392-4900.

THU 20 CLUB TABOO. The Flow Band.

Homewood. 412-277-3787.

COUNTRY

THUR, DEC 20 • 9PM ROCK

SAT 22 HARVEY WILNER’S. Dallas Marks.

West Mifflin. 412-466-1331.

ELWOOD’S PUB. Jeff Pogas.

Cheswick. 724-265-1181.

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Jimmy Sapienza.

North Side. 412-904-3335.

CLASSICAL FIFTH AVENUE STRINGS. Pittsburgh Public Market, Strip District. 412-281-4505.

SLIM FORSYTHE’S STEELTOWN CHRISTMAS. Nied’s Hotel, Lawrenceville. 412-781-9853.

ANDYS. Patrick Arena.

Downtown. 412-773-8884.

DANTE’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE. Jerry & Lou Lucarelli.

Brentwood. 412-884-4600.

NOLA ON THE SQUARE. Tom Roberts & Friends. Downtown.

412-471-9100.

OTHER MUSIC FRI 21 JERGEL’S RHYTHM GRILLE. No Bad JuJu. Warrendale.

724-799-8333.

LEMONT. Mark Vennare.

Mt. Washington. 412-431-3100.

ACOUSTIC THU 20 BILLY’S ROADHOUSE BAR & GRILL. Mark Pipas. Wexford.

724-934-1177.

DOWNEY’S HOUSE. Mike & Frank of Lava Game. Robinson.

412-489-5631.

ELWOOD’S PUB. The Fiddlers.

Cheswick. 724-265-1181.

MULLIGAN’S SPORTS BAR & GRILLE. Acoustic Night.

West Mifflin. 412-461-8000.

PAUL LABRISE STILL NOT SOBER FRI, DEC 21 • 9:30PM ROCKABILLY

THE BESSEMERS

SAT 22

WED 26

CLUB CAFE. Billy Price Downtown. w & the Lost Minds (Late). paper pghcitym 412-773-8884.

South Side. 412-431-4950. .co CJ’S. Rodger EXCUSES BAR & GRILL. Humphries & The Don Hollowood’s Cobra Kings.

RH Factor. Strip District.

South Side. 412-431-4090.

412-642-2377.

LITTLE E’S. Jessica Lee & Friends.

Entrepreneurial Thursdays.

CAFE NOTTE. The Blue Bombers, Downtown. 412-392-2217.

Patrick Scanga. Emsworth.

PAPA J’S RISTORANTE. Jimmy Z & 412-761-2233.

Friends. Carnegie. 412-429-7272.

NOLA ON THE SQUARE. The Olga Watkins Band. Downtown.

412-471-9100.

LITTLE E’S. The Andy Bianco Trio.

THE R BAR. Ms. Freddye.

Downtown. 412-392-2217.

Dormont. 412-445-5279.

OMNI WILLIAM PENN. Joe Negri ROMAN BISTRO. Bobby Hawkins w/ Jeff Lashway. Downtown.

Back Alley Blues. Forest Hills.

412-553-5235.

SPEAL’S TAVERN. Zoey Burger.

HOLIDAY MUSIC

REGGAE

CIOPPINO SEAFOOD CHOPHOUSE BAR. Moorehouse Jazz. Strip District. 412-281-6593.

CJ’S. The Tony Campbell Saturday Jazz Jam Session. Strip District.

412-642-2377.

LITTLE E’S. The Eddie Brookshire Quartet. Downtown. 412-392-2217.

SUN 23

JAZZ

hello-donny-a-showtunes-singalong. Downtown. 412-325-6769.

THU 20

SAT 22

FRI 21

SAT 22

FRI 21

SAT 22 LEMONT. NiteStar.

Mt. Washington. 412-431-3100.

(END OF THE WORLD SHOW) PLUS A SPECIAL GUEST SAT, DEC 22 • 9PM A BLUEGRASS CHRISTMAS SHOW WITH

THE MON RIVER RAMBLERS AND FRIENDS MON, DEC 31 • 9PM

NEW YEARS EVE PARTY WITH CITY DWELLING NATURE SEEKERS AND TRIGGERS $10 ADMISSION INCLUDES CHAMPAGNE TOAST AND MIDNIGHT BUFFET! OPEN FOR LUNCH

WED 26 CABARET AT THEATER SQUARE. Hello Donny: A Showtunes Sing-Along. http://trustarts. culturaldistrict.org/event/3941/

Kitchen hours: M-Th: 11am-12am Fri & Sat: 11am-1am Sun: 11am-11pm

4023 BU TLER ST LAWREN CEVILLE 412.682.017

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www.thunderbirdcafe.net

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What to do

IN PITTSBURGH

December 19 - 25 WEDNESDAY 19 Hit the Lights

ALTAR BAR Strip District.

412-263-2877. With special guests A Loss for Words, With the Punches, State Champs & more. All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 6:30p.m.

guests The Switch Kids, My Cardboard Spaceship Adventure & more. All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 7:30p.m.

Good Brother Earl

REX THEATER South Side.

412-381-6811. With special ty guests Red Hands, Crash City and Been Through Fire. All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly. com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 7p.m.

CLUB CAFE South Side.

412-431-4950. Over 21 show.

Tickets: 866-468-3401 or ticketweb.com/opusone. 7p.m.

Rilan Records Showcase with 3 Dudes Chillin

Eluveitie MR. SMALLS THEATRE Millvale. 412-821-4447. With special guests Wintersun & Varg. All ages show. Tickets: 866-468-3401 or ticketweb. com/opusone. 7:30p.m.

The Bessemers (End of the World Show)

THURSDAY 20

An evening with Blues & Soul with Billy Price and the Lost Minds

Paul Labrise / Still Not Sober

THUNDERBIRD CAFE Lawrenceville. 412-682-0177.

Over 21 show. Tickets: showclix.com. 9p.m.

THUNDERBIRD CAFE LawCLUB CAFE South Side. renceville. 412-682-0177.

412-431-4950. Over 21 Tickets: showclix.com. 9:30p.m. show. Tickets: 866-468-3401 or ticketweb.com/opusone.

10:30p.m.

FRIDAY 21

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412-263-2877. With special

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412-263-2877. With special guests Lovestain, The New er Pharmacy and Dematus. Over m 21 show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 8p.m.

Locks and Dams / TheMeToos / The Color Fleet CLUB CAFE South Side. w.

412-431-4950. Over 21 show.

Tickets: 866-468-3401 or ticketweb.com/opusone.

10:30p.m

Mon Rivers Ramblers & Friends - A Bluegrass Christmas Show

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SUNDAY, DECEMBER 23 BENEDUM CENTER

Lawrenceville. 412-682-017 412-682-0177.

Over 21 show. Tickets: showclix.com. 9:30p.m.

Radio Tokyo JERGEL'S RHYTHM GRILLE Warrendale.

724-799-8333. $7 cover charge. For more info visit jergels. com. 9p.m.

Ugly Sweater Party CLADDAGH IRISH PUB South Side Works. 412-381-4800. $100 cash prize for the Ugliest Sweater. 8p.m.

SUNDAY 23

Highmark Holiday Pops

Heinz Hall Downtown.

4412-392-4900. Tickets: pittsburghsymphony.org.

2:30 & 7:30p.m.

Nutcracker BENEDUM CENTER Downttown. 412-456-6666. Tickets: ttrustarts.org. 12 & 4:30p.m.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.19/12.26.2012

LIKE A DWARF’S TOO-LONG BEARD, THIS FILM COULD USE A SERIOUS TRIM

NEW JACK CITY {BY AL HOFF} Christopher McQuarrie’s film Jack Reacher, adapted from the Lee Child thriller, and set in Pittsburgh, starts with a bang. Well, a number of bangs, as a sniper picks off five folks strolling along the river by PNC Park. A man is arrested and an attorney (Rosamund Pilcher) is assigned; then a drifting stranger, a former Army MP named Jack Reacher (Tom Cruise), arrives to sort out what really happened.

The story is pure pulp — some thinly sketched mystery about a troubled Army vet and a shadowy global crime syndicate into building construction. Add a hero who is 110 percent proficient in everything — from crime-scene analysis and handto-hand combat to quippy word play and hand-washing laundry — and Jack Reacher is some mildly entertaining junk food.

A LONG WALK

Partners in crime-solving: Rosamund Pilcher and Tom Cruise

You’re encouraged to stop by for the local color: Reacher was shot in Pittsburgh, and the city looks great, with plenty of our revitalized Downtown and riverfront on display. There’s a car chase or two, again highlighting our seemingly very photogenic Downtown alleys (the same ones used in The Dark Knight Rises). A looser Tom Cruise seems to be having fun, but it’s the older dudes who make a mark: Werner Herzog plays a cold-eyed villain who chews more than the scenery, and Robert Duvall brings the laughs as a crusty old Marine-turned-gun-range-proprietor.

Speaking of firearms, there are a lot of guns and shooting, but it ends as it must: with two well-armed, highly trained snipers dropping their weapons to have a fistfight in the pouring rain.

Starts Fri., Dec. 21.

AHOFF@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

In Cirque

du Soleil: Worlds Away,

a separated couple journeys through various fantastical worlds to reunite. Director Andrew Adamson, with the help of 3-D whiz James Cameron, translates this Cirque extravaganza of costumes, acrobatics, costumes and swimming (!) to the big screen. In 3-D at select theaters. Starts Fri., Dec. 21.

{BY AL HOFF}

Y

He’s got to ramble on: Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman) begins his journey.

OU MIGHT WANT to pack a lunch

for this visit back to Middle Earth: Peter Jackson’s The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is just a shade under three hours. And this is just part one of a three-part adaptation of J.R.R. Tolkien’s adventure tale.

Journey is primarily an introduction to the characters, with assorted backstories. The titular hobbit, Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman), is recruited by the wizard Gandalf (Ian McKellan) to accompany 13 dwarves seeking to reclaim their mountain kingdom, now in the claws of a dragon. Along the way, the gang fends off orcs, trolls, goblins and a pair of moving mountains. There’s also a visit from a loony forest wizard (who appears to have bird shit on his face), and a sojourn with the ruling elves.

The Hobbit is not a bad movie, but it has enough flaws to chalk it up as “glossy and fun but middling.” Like a dwarf’s too-long beard, this film could use a serious trim; there’s too much filler.

Likewise, the wisp of a plot and the wob-

bly tone makes this film shaggy and unfocused, as it stumbles between comic antics (none very funny), foreboding doom (reminiscent of Jackson’s superior Lord of the Rings) and CGI-intensive action sequences.

THE HOBBIT DIRECTED BY: Peter Jackson STARRING: Martin Freeman, Ian McKellan In English, and some Orc and Elvish, with subtitles In high frame rate 3-D, 3-D IMAX and 3-D in select theaters

The reward at the end of this slog is the film’s best scene, in which Bilbo encounters Gollum, and the pair has a riddling spar. It’s only then that Bilbo exhibits any personality (and that may just be The Ring talking), though even that pales in the presence of another virtuoso turn by Andy Serkis as the twisted, hissing Gollum.

Jackson has poured a lot of cash into

the production, and for every breathtakingly depicted ethereal elf kingdom, there’s a clunkier bit of CGI-generated silliness that threatens to take the viewer out of the story. (Looking at you, giant orc!)

I saw the film in yet another high-tech 3-D process, this time with “high frame rate” (48 frames per second, or double the standard 24 fps). It was a decidedly mixed bag: Some scenes, such as expansive real or digitally created scenery, had remarkable depth and clarity. But in closer shots, the heightened reality had the curious effect of making the film look like cheaply produced 1970s TV. Better or not, it was a noticeable distraction. (Honestly, if it’s not a captivating story in 2-D, all the “wonders” of a third dimension won’t make it better.)

As a prologue to the main story, The Hobbit is more perfunctorily entertaining than gripping. I remain unconvinced that this is a story that needed to be told in three pieces (and cost $30 to see). If I’d had a choice, I’d have skipped directly to Part Two, where presumably more happens.

A HOF F @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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2 p.m. Mon., Dec. 24; and 2 p.m. Wed., Dec. 26.

Hollywood, Dormont

FILM CAPSULES CP

ELF. If you’d like all these tried-and-true elements of the heart-warming holiday comedy in one 97-minute chunk, then 2003’s Elf is for you. Directed

by Jon Favreau (Made), Will Ferrell plays Buddy, an oversized elf (he’s the super-sized kid who is a prime candidate for Ritalin) who turns up in New York City looking for his long-lost father (James Caan). Mixed into the been-there-done-that holiday moments are seen-’em-before, fish-out-of-water gags: Evidently there are no escalators in Santa’s workshop. Inoffensive and mildly amusing, Elf is still like getting last year’s present re-wrapped. 4 p.m.

Sun., Dec. 23; 5 p.m. Mon., Dec. 24; and 5 p.m. Wed,, Dec. 26. Hollyowwod, Dormont (Al Hoff)

= CITY PAPER APPROVED

NEW THE GUILT TRIP. An inventor (Seth Rogen), trying to sell his product, hits the road with his mom (Barbra Streisand) in tow, in this comedy from Anne Fletcher.

LES MISERABLES. Tom Hooper directs this adaptation of Victor Hugo’s sprawling 1862 novel by way of the popular musical. The tale of the former thief Valjean stars Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe and Anne Hathaway. Starts Tue., Dec. 25.

PARENTAL GUIDANCE. It’s a clash of parenting styles when the old-school grandparents step in for the modern helicopter parents. Billy Crystal and Better Midler star in Andy Fickman’s comedy.

Starts Tue., Dec. 25.

Django THIS IS 40. A comic look at life as middleaged parents. Paul Rudd and Leslie Mann star in the sort-of sequel to 2007’s Knocked Up, written and directed by Judd Apatow. Starts Fri., Dec. 21.

REPERTORY IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE. In Frank Capra’s beloved 1946 holiday classic, a harried man (Jimmy Stewart) re-discovers the simple joys of life. Enjoy it on the big screen. Even better — watch for free, Pittsburgh Filmmakers’ present to you. Through Sat., Dec. 22. Regent Square. Free

A CHRISTMAS STORY. Guess what Ralphie wants for Christmas? An official Red Ryder Carbine-Action 200-shot Range Model air rifle. Will he get it? Discover this and other small wonders of holidays past in Bob Clark’s 1983 holiday film, adapted from the Jean Shephard short story. 7:30 p.m. Thu., Dec. 20.

AMC Loews SCROOGED. It’s a snarky modern update of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, starring the droll Bill Murray as the grumpy TV executive missing the true meaning of the holidays. Richard Donner directs this 1988 comedy. 10 p.m. Fri., Dec. 21, and 10 p.m. Sat., Dec. 22. Oaks

Experience State-of-the-Art Entertainment!

ROLL FILM: A SKATEBOARD DOCUMENTARY FILM FESTIVAL. This 85-minute program offers five vintage skateboard shorts (to be screened on 16mm film), including “Skaterdater” (1965), a winner at Cannes in 1966; “Skateboarding Safety” (1976); “The Magic Rolling Board” (1976); “Skateboard Riding Tactics” (1978), with Lance Mountain; and “The Devil’s Toy” (1966), a look at skateboarding in Montreal after a police ban. The program, presented by local skate-gear outfit Scumco & Sons, continues a monthly series of early skateboarding films, running through March. 7:30 p.m. Sat., Dec. 22. Melwood Screening Room, 477 Melwood Ave., North Oakland. $5

Duck Soup

DUCK SOUP. “To war! To war!” The greatest of all the Marx Brothers comedies is an anarchic delight as the countries of Fredonia and Sylvania battle in this 1933 send-up of nationalism and warfare, directed

by Leo McCarey. Wed., Dec. 26, through Sat., Dec. 29. Harris. Double-features with Horse Feathers; $8 for both films.

ALL Digital Projection | Digital Surround Sound |

Chartiers Valley Stadium 18 Bridgeville | 412-914-0999

North Versailles Stadium 18

North Versailles | 412-824-9200

Opening Friday, December 21

JACK REACHER SPECIAL SHOWS

Thursday, December 20 9pm and Midnight

FREE POPCORN* & JACK REACHER Poster** with paid admission to Jack Reacher er Thursday, Dec 20 Only * Promotional Size Popcorn ** While Supplies Last

Join us on Facebook for a chance to

WIN A YEAR OF FREE MOVIES! www.PhoenixBigCinemas.com 38

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.19/12.26.2012

DJANGO. In the canon of enigmatic gun-shooter films, the opening to Sergio Corbucci’s 1966 spaghetti Western is hard to beat: a tall, brooding stranger walking across the desert, dragging a coffin behind him. That man is Django (Franco Neri), and though he quickly kills nearly half-a-dozen men, that coffin has other purposes.

Django has come to town to settle a score with the Major — the details aren’t totally clear. But the Major leads a Ku Klux Klan-type group, and shoots Mexicans for sport. Django sets up alliances with the town’s brothel-keep, as well as a group of Mexican gangsters also angry at the Major. Despite the slow pacing, a fair amount of mayhem ensues, including whippings, shoot-outs, some dismemberment, a deadly pit of quicksand and the reveal of the coffin’s true function.

Django was once infamous for its graphic violence, but today’s audiences will barely notice.

(The body count is pretty epic — well over 100 — but largely bloodless.) As a cult favorite, it also spurred many unrelated sequels and spin-offs, many simply incorporating the “Django” handle. Quentin Tarantino’s new film, Django Unchained, is among the “imitators,” even borrowing the original’s awesomely cheesy title song. In Italian, with subtitles.

8 p.m. Wed., Dec. 26, and 8 p.m. Thu., Dec. 27.

Regent Square (AH)

URGH: A MUSIC WAR. From the way-back machine comes Derek Burbidge’s 1981 concert compilation film, which documents a number of then-rising new wave, punk, reggae and other non-mainstream acts.

Some went on to fame (The Police, UB40), while others are lost to the seas of time (Athletic Spizz 80, Au Pairs, Surf Punks). Also on the bill: Oingo Boingo, OMD, XTC, X, The Go Gos, Dead Kennedys, Cramps, Wall of Voodoo and more. Doors open at 8:30 p.m. (for a Cramps karaoke cover band).; screening at 9:30 p.m. Sat., Dec. 22. Hollywood, Dormont WHITE CHRISTMAS. Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye are a pair of entertainers who travel to Vermont with two singing sisters (Rosemary Clooney and Vera-Ellen) for the holidays. Once there, the men discover the country inn is run by their old Army general, and he’s in financial straits. Looks like a big musical show might be the ticket! Besides the title song, Michael Curtiz’s 1954 film includes other Irving Berlin classics such as “Count Your Blessings Instead of Sheep” and “Blue Skies.”

11 a.m. Sun., Dec. 23. ($15 includes breakfast provided by Sugar Café; $7, movie only.) Also,

HORSE FEATHERS. The Marx Brothers take on college football in this 1932 comedy directed by Norman Z. McLeod, with Groucho as the irascible Professor Wagstaff: “I say to you gentlemen that this college is a failure. The trouble is we’re neglecting football for education.” He’s got a million of them.

Wed., Dec. 26, through Sat., Dec. 29. Harris. Doublefeatures with Duck Soup; $8 for both films.

Horse Feathers caption????

ANDY WARHOL FILMS. Selections from Warhol’s Factory Diaries series (1971-75) and other shorts screen. Ongoing. Free with museum admission. Andy Warhol Museum, North Side. www.warhol.org

“HEARTFELT

SOUTHERN DISCOMFORT {BY AL HOFF}

AND HILARIOUS.

ONE OF THE YEAR’S BEST COMEDIES.

STREISAND AND ROGEN ARE THE PERFECT COMEDY DUO!”

The 1966 spaghetti Western Django spurred dozens of cinematic imitations and spin-offs, mostly of the grade-B or lower variety. So it’s no surprise that such an admirer and self-conscious re-imaginer of junky genre fare as Quentin Tarantino would get around to his own lurid version, Django Unchained.

The story begins in 1858 Texas (helpfully subtitled on screen as being before the Civil War, in case you missed history).

A German bounty hunter (Christoph Walz) frees a slave named Django (Jamie Foxx), whom he hires to help him track down his former overseer. Django agrees, hoping reunite with his still-enslaved wife. The pair makes a good team, contract-killing their way across the West, before winding up at the Mississippi plantation of Calvin Candie (Leonardo DiCaprio). There, various cons — and ultimately, some ultra-violence — are employed to secure Mrs. Django (Kerry Washington).

FOX TV, JAKE HAMILTON

Bounty-hunters Christoph Walz and Jamie Foxx

This Django is a hybrid of a spaghetti Western and blaxploitation revenge quest, intercut with a fair amount of humor and graphic violence. (Some of the violence is meant to be laughed at, while other scenes — such as a slave being torn apart by a pack of dogs — are designed to discomfit.)

It’s everything you’d expect from a Tarantino film: button-pushing, too long and self-indulgent. It’s a symphony of n-words — also, f-words, mf-words and s-words. It features roster of good, bad and hammy actors in roles small and large. Plus Samuel L. Jackson, in one of his out-there roles. It has a laugh-out-loud, white-sheeted night-riders scene, and Jim Croce’s 1970s soft-rock hit “I Got a Name” underscores Django’s transformation from slave to free man.

With an enthusiastic Tarantino behind the wheel, the film careens wildly all over the road. For a while, the swerving is entertaining, but it grows wearying. Some thought has gone into making this film — a filmmaker doesn’t choose “slavery in America” willy-nilly. Yet Django never steers a clear path toward any coherent points, instead offering short-hop detours, many of them contradictory. Starts Tue., Dec. 25.

OPENS WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 19 AT THEATRES EVERYWHERE

AHOFF@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

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[ART REVIEW]

“IF PEOPLE ARE LAUGHING AND THINK IT’S FUNNY, THAT’S THE ONLY STANDARD I HAVE.”

LIGHT UP

{BY ROBERT RACZKA}

[COMEDY]

BILL CRAWFORD’S “Karla Boos,” by Colter Harper and Carolina Loyola-Garcia

Suddenly it seems there’s colored light everywhere: from the Greyhound Terminal to the top of Gulf Tower, from brightly hued compact fluorescents to the strings of cycling colors adorning half the back-bars in town. That is to say, the chromatic vigor of After Dark, an exhibit by Pittsburgh-based photographer-musician Colter Harper (Rusted Root, etc.) and media artist Carolina Loyola-Garcia, is in tune with the times. Critics might prefer anonymity, but artists live to be recognized, and After Dark puts them in the spotlight in this selective who’s-who of local culture luminaries.

In most cases, the artist is posed front-andcenter in a setting relating to her or his creative endeavors. Generally, the subject anchors the image while leaving room in the surrounding space for the play of light and color, with a 30-second exposure enabling the capture of traces of added light.

It seems entirely appropriate that Quantum Theatre’s Karla Boos and chanteuse Phat Man Dee appear theatrical, afloat in a sea of props and light painting.

Sculptor James Simon emanates a colorful presence while taking a much-deserved rest, in a bathtub. And painter Brian Brown’s portrait looks as surreal as a Brian Brown painting.

In some cases, festiveness seems to take priority over channeling a sense of the subject or her work, as with visual-art polymath Ayanah Moor, whose backdrop of rust-brown prints are keyed up with a Times Square palette. It’s not that it’s insensitive to the artist or the art. Rather, it’s a non sequitur that could be considered a play of pure creativity.

Sculptor Thaddeus Mosley appears nonplussed by the activity buzzing around him, musician Ben Opie vibrates, actress Adrienne Wehr contemplates, College Inn Project entrepreneur Sarah Humphrey virtually disappears into the background (as some think a curator-producer should), and belly-dancer Olivia Kissel sprouts extra sets of arms. Fairly thorough bios on the artists are posted.

This project by Harper and LoyolaGarcia is flush with the artistic risk of unpredictability, in which not entirely controllable forces are unleashed. The completed photographs had to have been something of a surprise to the photographers as well as the subjects.

The resulting After Dark is not only a visual delight, but also a heartfelt tribute to our creative class.

MORNING GLORY {BY ALI TRACHTA}

D

DVE Morning Show studios, and inside, co-host Bill Crawford is apologizing profusely. But he’s doing so in the voice of Steelers wide receiver Jerricho Cotchery.

To Crawford, Cotchery’s smooth voice sounds like the bass from Boyz II Men who tended to soliloquize apologies during songs. So when the Steelers lose, Crawford impersonates Cotchery apologizing while “End of the Road” plays. This time, though, Cotchery himself has called in, and Crawford’s about to play the joke for its target.

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

COLTER HARPER & CAROLINA LOYOLAGARCIA: AFTER DARK continues through Jan. 6. 707 Penn Gallery, 707 Penn Ave., Downtown. 412-325-7017

40

AWN’S BARELY broken outside the

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.19/12.26.2012

{PHOTO BY TERRY CLARK}

Up in Crawford’s grill: Bill Crawford mic-checks favorite stomping ground the Pittsburgh Improv.

Mid-conversation with Cotchery, and nervous, Crawford lets out an “uuuuh” — an awkward, slightly prolonged throatclear. After they hang up, host Randy Baumann won’t let Crawford hear the end of it.

“I was so nervous!” Crawford confesses into his mic as Baumann plays the flub over and over, and everyone in the studio cracks up. Later, Crawford says of the onair mockery, “I don’t mind being the butt of the joke. I never have … if people are laughing and think it’s funny, that’s the only standard I have.”

Crawford, 33, grew up in Pittsburgh before heading to Emerson College in Boston, a school known for its distinguished comedy alumni. “Jay Leno went there,” Crawford says, bright-eyed.

“Denis Leary, Steven Wright, David Cross, Laura Kightlinger, Bill Burr, Anthony Clark, The Fonz.” Emerson also lets students spend a semester in Los Angeles — an opportunity Crawford seized in 2003, thinking he might make it big in Hollywood.

But Crawford’s L.A. stint didn’t last long. At the end of his first week there, his uncle died. Soon after, his mother had a heart attack, and soon after that, his sister was in a horrible car accident.

“One by one,” Crawford says, “each family member was like, ‘We need you to come back.’”

Crawford didn’t find an easy road in Pittsburgh, either. “There was no comedy scene,” he says. Other than the Improv and The Funny Bone, there were few places to perform, “so I literally just started making up rooms by myself.”

BILL CRAWFORD 8 and 10 p.m. Fri., Dec. 21, and 7 and 9 p.m.

Sat., Dec. 22. Pittsburgh Improv, 166 E. Bridge St., The Waterfront, West Homestead. $20. 412-462-5233 or pittsburgh.improv.com

He and some comedian friends began playing “dirt-bag bars and Elks’ Clubs and places that never, ever, ever should have a comedy show,” he says. One makeshift stage was simply Crawford standing between two dartboards. “They were like, ‘We have a lamp we’ll put on you.’”

“They’d plug us into the P.A., then not turn off the Monday Night Football game,” he says. At another place, “there was a pool table right in front of the stage, and dudes actually played pool CONTINUES ON PG. 42

A holiday tradition family holiday sing-along december 22, 2012, 2–4 p.m. free with museum admission

Join singer/songwriter Frank Cappelli for a lively and festive sing-along of your favorite seasonal tunes.

carnegie trees and neapolitan presepio on view through january 6

Think once is enough to experience the Carnegie Trees? It’s a tradition with a new face every year, so be sure to catch this year’s splendor.

While you’re at the museum, be sure to stop in our stores for smart and creative holiday gifts. for hours and information call 412.622.3131 or visit carnegiemnh.org/holidays

holidays at the museum are sponsored by

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TOUR PREMIERE! FEATURING THE #1 HIT SONGS YOU LOVE FLASHDANCE...WHAT A FEELING, MANIAC MANHUNT, I LOVE ROCK & ROLL, GLORIA

BILL CRAWFORD, CONTINUED FROM PG. 41

while the show was going on. That’s when you know you’re not yet doing what you should be doing in the comedy business — when people are racking ’em up and breaking ’em right in front of your set.”

Things got easier after 2004, when veteran DVE Morning Show host Jim Krenn, whom Crawford calls a mentor, caught his set at the Pittsburgh Improv and invited him to guest on the show.

Crawford used his weekly on-air appearances as a bargaining chip to get more bar bookings. He became a bigger name at the Improv, and eventually toured, opening for acts like Jim Breuer, Bert Kreischer and Steve Byrne. He enjoyed being on the road, but it took him away from his longtime girlfriend and two daughters. “My family is number one,” Crawford says.

Crawford’s standup often alludes to life as a cash-strapped family man. About watching The Bachelor, he jokes, “It’s just unrealistic expectations that show creates.

They’re taking helicopter rides over thousand-foot waterfalls. My girl’s like, ‘I wanna go on a helicopter, baby!’ … I’m like, ‘The only way you’re getting in a helicopter with me is if you trip on a squeaky toy, fall down the steps and have to be life-flighted.’”

But early this year, comedy finally turned more lucrative. This past January — weeks after Krenn was abruptly released from the morning show — Crawford was offered a full-time spot on WDVE, an event he calls “the opportunity of a lifetime.” For a comedian, he says, being on the DVE Morning Show is “the equivalent to growing up here and playing for the Steelers.” For Crawford, there’s nowhere else he’d rather be. “This is home base,” he says. “My sense of humor is in full bloom in this city.”

Still, Crawford remains modest. “I’m playing small ball,” he says of his career.

“I was just raised that way, I guess — to always be humble. My mantra when I come [to work] is, ‘Be humble, be grateful, keep it light, have fun.’ That’s how I’ve always tried to approach comedy.”

Back in the studio, Baumann discovers it’s Crawford’s birthday and announces it on-air. “I get the birthday blues,” Crawford laments, sheepishly. But when the mic clicks off, he says to Baumann, “The best birthday gift I got was Jerricho Cotchery loving that bit.”

“MY SENSE OF HUMOR IS IN FULL BLOOM IN THIS CITY.”

JANUARY 1-6 HEINZ HALL

"8Ê" Ê /Ê/ / ,Ê-+1 , ÊUÊ/,1-/ ,/-°", {£Ó Î Ó { ääÊUÊ ,"1*-Ê£ä³Ê/ /-Ê{£Ó {Ç£ È Îä ACCESSIBLE

SERVICES AVAILABLE

PNC Broadway Across America-Pittsburgh is a presentation of The Pittsburgh Cultural Trust, Pittsburgh Symphony and Broadway Across America.

INF O @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.19/12.26.2012

[BOOK]

DEEP BLUES {BY BILL O’DRISCOLL}

Seeking to recreate the world in words, some poets spread their text purposefully across the page, with big horizontal or vertical stretches of white space. In his fourth collection, Future Blues (Salmon Poetry), Michael S. Begnal uses this technique more often than most. But it’s a measure of Begnal’s skill that all that white space never seems an affectation. Rather, it’s just another way he immerses us in his potent, often challenging voice.

Begnal, 46, teaches at Duquesne University and was formerly editor of the Galway, Ireland-based literary magazine The Burning Bush. And indeed Future Blues often explores Irish and Irish-American settings and concerns.

“Waterworld” limns an Old World street scene and a millennium’s arc of history in a handful of lines (“r e i n c a r n a t i o n back on the agenda”). The stunning “Dead Rabbits” captures in a page the immigrant experience from Potato Famine to third-generation Middle American dissolution. Four other poems are even in Gaelic (and defiantly go untranslated).

“Angles” — about Western European colonists planting “trimmed bushes regimented in rows” in new-settled lands — is built on a delightful bit of Joycean wordplay (“The Angles are coming”). And with “Application for the Provision of Catholic Beverages,” Begnal, employing a barroom stoicism, offers a detailed yet concise allegory on the Church’s defunction.

But there’s lots more to Begnal. His verse can be pleasingly visceral (“the canal flows nearby / clogged with dead leaves of limitless autumns”), or delve into personal torment, as in “Shade,” about the speaker’s relationship with a man who “sick or dying pretends health / in a black turtleneck.” Begnal includes an “Homage to Li Po,” and indeed displays a special facility for Eastern-inflected poems simply depicting a physical scene in lucid detail — or even, as in “Homage to Allen Kirkpatrick,” merely describing a series of old photos.

There’s also strong political sensibility, with evocations of imprisonment, characterizations of poets as endangered visionaries (“Manifesto”) and deep empathy with animals caged (“Thylacine”) and threatened. “[T]omorrow I will kill the poachers,” the speaker vows in “Primates.”

Other highlights include takes on popcultural touchstones. In “Bettie Page,” Begnal goes a bit T.S. Eliot on pinup icon Bettie Page. And a series of poems on the Stooges includes a witty appreciation of their alternate-universe third album, complete with titles like “Fresh Rag” and “Big Time Bum.” DRISCOLL@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

The Palace Theatre Coming Attractions

[PLAY REVIEWS]

SORE WINNERS {BY TED HOOVER}

FIRST THINGS ďŹ rst: Congratulations to

Off the Wall Productions for the opening of its new and handsome performance space in Carnegie. Since 2007, the company has been presenting surprisingly contemporary and adult fare in the relatively conservative city of Washington â&#x20AC;Ś or â&#x20AC;&#x153;Little Warshington,â&#x20AC;? as we Pittsburghers say. This season, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pulled up stakes and rehabbed a Carnegie property into a deluxe theater with all the latest technical gewgaws and a swanky, expansive lobby/cafĂŠ.

But theaterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not all about the accoutrements, and the reason I went was for the Pittsburgh premiere of Rajiv Josephâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Gruesome Playground Injuries.

Joseph was a 2010 Pulitzer ďŹ nalist for his play Bengal Tiger at the Baghdad Zoo. And I will say that the man can write. This intermissionless play is 90 minutes long, and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s safe to say thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not a wasted word or action. The playâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s scenes come at you in a nonlinear way and, thanks to Josephâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s purposefully elliptical style, arranging the puzzle pieces into a narrative turns each audience member into an active participant.

Which is a good thing because, when allâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s said and done, Gruesome is mining a well-tapped vein. Kayleen and Doug, you see, are in love, but internal and external forces keep them apart. We meet up with them at approximately ďŹ ve-year intervals, from age 8 to 38 (although the scenes arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t chronological) and watch as they struggle to ďŹ nd happiness in a bleak world.

the Amazing

KRESKIN

For more than 50 years Kreskin has been telling people things about themselves that only they or a close friend could possibly know. Dormant spirits reawaken with ghostly sightings!

Saturday, January 19 8PM Orchestra $30, $22 Sorry, no children under 10 at this event!

GET THE LED OUT

{PHOTO COURTESY OF OFF THE WALL PRODUCTIONS}

Erika Cuenca and Tony Bingham in Off the Wallâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Gruesome Playground Injuries

although I wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t crazy about his â&#x20AC;&#x153;gimmickâ&#x20AC;? (and the reason for the title): Each meeting is occasioned by a different medical problem, and usually takes place in a medical facility. It might work on paper, but after a while you do feel like youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve tuned into the Telethon Channel.

Still, the eveningâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s chief pleasure is seeing the terriďŹ c Off the Wall production, directed with a strong, but unseen, hand by Maggie Balsley.

Given the slightly contrived nature of the script, Balsley makes it feel natural and unforced. (Except for the cutesywutesy scene changes. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know if the idea is Josephâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s or Balsleyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, but knock it off.)

Erika Cuenca and Tony Bingham, playing our star-crossed lovers, provide deeply felt and perfectly calibrated performances. I especially enjoyed them for what they didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t do; often when a playwrightâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s style is as indirect as it is here, actors (and God bless â&#x20AC;&#x2122;em!) like to ďŹ ll in the hole with lots of emoting, just so we all get it. But Cuenca and Bingham demonstrate a prodigious (and welcome) faith in the writer.

So, once again: Congratulations, Off the Wall â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and welcome to the big city!

The American Led Zeppelin Studio recordings of "the mighty Zep" come to life on stage by professional musicians who are fans first, striving to do justice to one of rock history's greatest bands!

ERIKA CUENCA AND TONY BINGHAM PROVIDE DEEPLY FELT AND PERFECTLY CALIBRATED PERFORMANCES.

GRUESOME PLAYGROUND INJURIES continues through Dec. 29. Off the Wall Productions, 25 W. Main St., Carnegie. $5-35. 888-718-4253 or www.insideoffthewall.org

Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nothing particularly wrong with Gruesome. And perhaps if you, unlike me, havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t sat through more than 3,500 shows in your life, the whole boy/ girl/love/misery thing might seem a little fresher. Certainly Josephâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s skill as a writer goes a long way toward sprucing it up â&#x20AC;Ś

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Saturday, January 26 8PM Orchestra $30, $26 Loge $30; Balcony $22

Gaelic J

With their signature acoustic production, Gaelic Storm blends indie-folk and world grooves with Celtic tradition.

Their latest album Chicken Boxer will knock you out!

Sunday, March 3 7PM Orchestra $26, $22 Loge $26; Balcony $18

The Palace Theatre, Greensburg 724-836-8000 â&#x20AC;˘ www.ThePalaceTheatre.org FREE PARKING FOR EVENING & WEEKEND SHOWS

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FOR THE WEEK OF

12.2012.27.12

FOR INFORMATION ON HOW TO SUBMIT LISTINGS AND PRESS RELEASES, CALL 412.316.3342 X161.

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DEC. 26 Harlem Globetrotters

{ART} If you’re eastbound for the holidays, consider an interesting little exhibit at the Southern Alleghenies Museum of Art at Loretto. The museum — located off Route 22 just west of Altoona — features Red, White and Blue in Black and White: The American Scene in Prints, Drawings and Photographs. The 35-odd works on paper from the museum’s collection, from photographs to lithographs, highlight artists like Thomas Hart Benton, Luke Swank, Mabel Dwight and Frederick Remington. The images documenting everything from street scenes and football matches to steel mills date from 1890 through 1991, though most are from the 1920s and ’30s, when Regionalist art peaked.

Bill O’Driscoll 10 a.m.-5 p.m.

Exhibit continues through May 4. (Closed Dec. 23-Jan. 1.) Saint Francis University Campus, Loretto. Free. 814-472-3920 or www.sama-art.org

a guided Winter Solstice Hike around Riverview Park, home to the Allegheny Observatory.

This is an easy three- to fourmile hike, perfect for beginners. Registration is required.

The hike will stop to observe star formations and to hear woodland creatures. Catherine {PHOTO COURTESY OF MELISSA MCMASTERS}

tion of A Musical Christmas Carol is in its final weekend of 2012 at the Byham Theater, complete with songs, ghosts, Christmas geese and local icon Tom Atkins as Scrooge.

The big cast includes top local performers Paul Domencic, Lisa Ann Goldsmith, Tim Hartman, Jeff Howell and Daniel Krell.

Six performances remain through Sunday. BO 7:30 p.m.

Continues through Sun., Dec. 23. 101 Sixth St., Downtown. $14.75-60.75. 412-456-6666 or www.pittsburghCLO.org

{STAGE}

DEC. 21 Winter Solstice Hike

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Sylvain 6:30-8:30 p.m. North Side. $10. 412-255-0564 or www.ventureoutdoors.org

{OUTDOORS} While the exact time of today’s apocalypse due to planetary alignment is in dispute, astronomers agree that the winter solstice will take place at 11:12 a.m. At this time, the sun is at its lowest altitude in the Northern Hemisphere. To mark the astronomical occasion, Venture Outdoors holds

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.19/12.26.2012

{STAGE} How many sitcoms have ever not ripped off A Christmas Carol? The story’s damn near irresistible, of course. But putting it live on stage, in a version more like Dickens’ original, has been the specialty of the Pittsburgh CLO for years.

The CLO’s 21st annual produc-

Last month was National Novel Writing Month and it can coax all kinds of creativity out of the woodwork. Especially from an experimental multidisciplinary artist like Sam Perry. The Pittsburgh local completed a novel exploring identity through the mythic “moon baby,” a character he has been performing as for some months. Tonight, at Assemble gallery, Perry adapts his novel Twin Fawns into a drag opera. It includes a live band, original music, ambient pop covers and monologues.

Perry previously held an exhibition at Assemble, in July, and also completed a residency at the now-defunct Waffle Shop.

CS 7:30 p.m. 5125 Penn Ave., Garfield. $2 suggested dona-

sp otlight Pittsburgh is home to many talented improv groups, but they tend to be unknown to those outside the improv community.

That’s why, since August, Steel City Improv Theater performer and instructor Brian Gray has produced a monthly Improv Double Feature at the Cabaret at Theater Square. “It’s a different crowd,” Gray says. Unlike the weekly Improv Jam at the same location, which any individual can sign up to perform in, Gray’s double bill is carefully curated. “The idea of this show was to take a couple groups who have really shown that they can pass muster and put them in front of an audience that’s not as improv-savvy.” he says. “These groups have been performing together for a long time.” Tonight’s bill consists of Cream Stain (pictured), a young trio with a conversational style, and the more seasoned intellectual quartet The Writer’s Room. Both groups are SCIT regulars, and it’s worth familiarizing yourself with them. In January, SCIT will move from its secluded North Side basement to Shadyside. The evening is hosted by actor and speech therapist Amy Portenlanger. “You can go see a movie for $12, or for $5 you can see two improv groups and really laugh heartily at least half the time,” says Gray. Catherine Sylvain 10:30 p.m. 655 Penn. Ave., Downtown. $5. 412-456-666 or www.trustarts.com

tion. 724-799-5410 or www. facebook.com/assemblePGH

{ART}

terpreting, the “Mayan Prophecy.”

But one of these days, it really is going to be the end of the world, and then you’ll be sorry. Don’t Art by say we didn’t Mabel warn you, and Dwight have a nice cosmic afterlife.

(Don’t worry, either, about the alternate interpretation, that humankind is entering a new age of post-materialist enlightenment; we’re pretty sure that’s never going to happen.) On the other hand, if you’re reading this Dec. 22 or later … um … happy holidays! BO

The Pirates tanked, the Steelers are limping and the Penguins aren’t even on ice. But you can cheer on the art of sport tonight as The Toonseum opens Pittsburgh Scores!

The Pro Scoreboard Art of Kensington Falls Animation.

The local studio was founded in 1979 to do TV, corporate and educational work. In the mid-1980s, Kensington Falls became prominent on scoreboards at the Civic Arena (the “Steroid Penguin”) and Three Rivers Stadium (“Pirate Train”).

Its hand-drawn, digitally painted character animations still capture eyeballs at local professional sporting contests today. Meet producer and company founder Michael Schwab at tonight’s opening reception, where original works will be available for purchase. BO 7:30 p.m. 945 Liberty Ave., Downtown. $5. 412-2320199 or www.toonseum.org

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{END TIMES}

{CRAFTS}

Go ahead, laugh at all those people buying into, and misin-

Holiday themes are permitted but far from mandatory at

characters. “These will be true art dolls, as there may be times they do not resemble the usual human form, or even close,” notes the gallery.

Mermaids, aliens and dinosaurs are among the starter suggestions. BO 1-4 p.m. 5006 Penn Ave., Bloomfield. $5-15 sliding scale. www. irmafreeman.org

DEC. 20

Red, White and Blue n Black in and White

today’s Paper Doll Workshop at the Irma Freeman Center for Imagination. The Bloomfield gallery hosts the latest in this Jane Street Doll Collective series for creative types ages 6 to adult. Artist Chris Fondi will guide you in using found and upcycled materials (like junk mail or scraps) to create art-doll

Art by Kensington Falls Animation

(from 35 feet), a penalty box or a six-on-five option? Try it yourself … or watch the Harlem Globetrotters give it a fingertip spin. The worldfamous team’s annual Boxing Day visit to Pittsburgh coincides with the launch of its “You Write the Rules” World Tour (including 240 U.S. cities).

Fans can vote online for one of the five nontraditional rules under which the Globetrotters

{MUSIC} {MU If w we had our druthers, everybody’d lay off ever r the holiday music each year yea a at least until the e weekend before Christmas.

Still, that Ch would be just in time wo for fo today’s Family Sing-along with Frank Sin Cappelli. The grandly mustachioed singer/songwriter and guitarist best known for his Pittsburgh-produced, nationally syndicated children’s-TV series Cappelli & Co., leads an afternoon of festive singalongs of seasonal favorites. Sing ’em now, before everyone moves on to “Auld Lang Syne.” The venue is the Carnegie Museum of Natural History’s Hall of Architecture, currently home to seven giant Christmas trees and the museum’s famous Neapolitan presepio, an 18th-century Italian Nativity. BO 2-4 p.m.

4400 Forbes Ave., Oakland.

Free with museum admission ($11.95-17.95; children under 3 free). 412-622-3131 or www.carnegiemnh.org

+ WED., DEC. 26 {SPORTS}

DEC. 21

What would basketball look like if it were played with two basketballs at once? Or with double the points per basket? Or a four-point shot

Pittsburgh Scores!

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proud to say that my film, Django Unchained, can join the long line of unrelated Django rip-offs,” says Quentin Tarantino. Tonight and tomorrow, in conjunction with the theatrical release of Tarantino’s unrelated rip-off, Pittsburgh Filmmakers screens seminal Italian spaghetti Western Django at Regent Square Theater. The 1966 film, now digitally restored,

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DEC. 22

Paper per Doll p Workshop

will take on those perennially hapless pless Washington Generals at CONSOL Energy Center tonight. BO 7 p.m. Uptown. $19-163. 800-745-3000 or www.harlemglobetrotters.com

{SCREEN} “There were all these complete rip-offs, unrelated sequels to Django and I am

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was one of the most violent films of its time and inspired the ear-cutting scene in Reservoir Dogs. It was directed

by Sergio Corbucci, stars Franco Nero in the title role, and is subtitled. CS 8 p.m.

Also 8 p.m. Thu., Dec. 27. 1035 Braddock Ave., Edgewood. $4-9. 412-682-4111 or pfm.pittsburgharts.org

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TO SUBMIT A LISTING: HTTP://HAPPENINGS.PGHCITYPAPER.COM

412.316.3388 (FAX) + 412.316.3342 X161 (PHONE)

Made in PGH (4 PACKS)

Grazianos Penn Aiken Dairy Pitt’s Dogg’N It B-Hive

THEATER GRAND NIGHT FOR SINGING.

New website inglobwetrust.com

Musical tribute to Rodgers & Hammerstein. Wed-Sun. Thru Jan. 20. Cabaret at Theater Square, Downtown. 412-456-6666.

THE NATIVITY: A CHRISTMAS GIFT. Loosely based on the play by Langston Hughes.

Presented by The Shona Sharif African Dance & Drum Ensemble.

Fri-Sun, 8 p.m. Thru Dec. 23.

Alumni Hall, Univ. of Pittsburgh, Oakland. 412-206-1360.

SOUTH SIDE STORIES. Onewoman show portraying the dynamism of the Pittsburgh neighborhood. Tue-Sun. Thru Jan. 13. City Theatre, South Side.

412-431-2489.

1721 Lowrie St

COMEDY

(BY THE CASE)

Buddys Brews on Carson

in Troy Hill (15212) Sat. 12-6pm Cases, Kegs, Growlers, Scobies.

THE

Holiday Karaoke

{ALL LISTINGS MUST BE SUBMITTED BY 9 A.M. FRIDAY PRIOR TO PUBLICATION}

Party

Thursday, Dec 20th 9:30-1:30

Prize for BEST Holiday Outfit Giveaways, $4 Absolut Vodka

THU 20 AARON KLEIBER. Performance will be filmed for full-length DVD. 8 p.m. The Improv, Waterfront.

412-462-5233.

COMEDY OPEN MIC. 9 p.m.

Hambone’s, Lawrenceville.

412-681-4318.

PITTSBURGH IMPROV JAM. Thu. Thru Feb. 28 Cabaret at Theater Square, Downtown. 412-325-6769.

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.19/12.26.2012

SAT 22

IMPROV COMEDY DOUBLE FEATURE: CREAM STAIN & DEREK MINTO, DANNY THE WRITER’S ROOM. PALUMBO, TIM ROSS, 10:30 p.m. Cabaret TOM KUPIEC, GORDON at Theater Square, DUCHENE BENEDICT Downtown.

BALDAUFF, DAY 412-325-6766.

BRACEY. Hambones SCIT SOCIAL IMPROV . w w w Comedy Spectaluar IV. JAM. For new & paper ty ci h g p 10 p.m. Hambone’s, experienced improvisers. .com Lawrenceville.

Sat, 6:30 p.m. Steel 412-681-4318.

City Improv Theater, THE LOW LIFE EXPECTANCIES North Side. 412-322-1000.

OF COMEDY LAUGHOCALYPSE SHOW. Alex Stypula, Jeff Konkle, Zach Funk, Elliot Burns, Tim Ross, JOKEE OAKEE. Comedy open Erick Williams. 8 p.m. Rex Theater, stage hosted by Tonnochi:B. South Side. 412-381-6811.

Wed Younger’s, North Side.

NOODLEBOWL COMEDY SHOW. 412-452-3267.

9 p.m. Bloomfield Bridge Tavern, STAND-UP COMEDY OPEN Bloomfield. 412-605-4807.

MIC. Wed, 8 p.m. The BeerHive, PITTSBURGH COMEDY Strip District. 412-904-4502.

SHOWCASE W/ MIKE WYSOCKI. Fri, 9 p.m. Corner Cafe, South Side.

412-488-2995.

ALLEGHENY-KISKI VALLEY

FULL LIST E N O LIN

WED 26

EXHIBITS

I would describe Deborah Kass’ work as Pop Art meets feminism, and heavy on the feminism. She reworks ideas about Pop Art and what art itself is. It made me feel fresh. I thought that the exhibition was really tremendous, and I had not heard of her. I wish I was seeing young women today make art that actually engages on that level of feminism. My favorite piece was “Puff Piece.” It made a really clear and powerful statement. The gallery talk by Ann Rosenthal was fascinating, especially in terms of placing Kass’ work in a historical context. I think that the way Kass’ work addresses feminism is its biggest strength. When she began making it, that was a really fresh and dynamic conversation. That said, I think it’s not a topic that has lost its relevance, and unfortunately it feels more relevant today given the politics that are on the table.

HERITAGE MUSEUM. Military artifacts and exhibits on the Allegheny Valley’s industrial heritage. Tarentum. 724-224-7666.

AUGUST WILSON CENTER FOR AFRICAN AMERICAN CULTURE. The Nazi Olympics: Berlin 1936. An exhibit exploring 1936 Olympic Games including use of propaganda, the boycott debate, history of the torch run, & the historic performance of Jesse Owens. Curated by the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum. Opens Oct. 25.

Downtown. 412-258-2700.

BAYERNHOF MUSEUM. Large collection of automatic roll-played musical instruments and music boxes in a mansion setting.

Call for appointment. O’Hara.

412-782-4231.

BOST BUILDING. Collectors.

Preserved materials reflecting the industrial heritage of Southwestern PA. Homestead. 412-464-4020.

CARNEGIE MUSEUM OF ART. Inventing the Modern World: Decorative Arts at the World’s Fairs, 1851–1939. Furniture, metalwork, glass, ceramics, textiles, & jewelry produced by Herman Miller, Tiffany, more. Oakland.

412-622-3131.

CARNEGIE MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY. Neapolitan Presepio. Nativity scene feat. more than 100 human & angelic figures, along w/ animals, accessories, & architectural elements. Empowering Women: Artisan Cooperatives that

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EVERYONE IS A CRITIC CRITIC: Elizabeth Monoian, 43, an arts educator from Lawrenceville EVENT: Deborah

Kass: Before and Happily Ever After exhibit, WHEN: Sat.,

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BILL CRAWFORD. Dec. 21-22 The Improv, Waterfront. 412-462-5233.

FRI 21

The Andy Warhol Museum, North Side

146 44th Street, Lawrenceville, PA 15201 412.687.2157 www.cattivo.biz

FRI 21 - SAT 22

Dec. 15

talk (and bitch and moan and laugh until your cheeks hurt) radio* *on your computer!

LYNN CULLEN LIVE

TALK RADIO without all the static

ONLINE MONDAY-FRIDAY 10-11am

only on www.pghcitypaper.com WITH SPECIAL GUESTS

Pittsburgh City Paper editor Chris Potter, every Wednesday and former Andy Warhol Museum director Tom Sokolowski, every Thursday

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BIG LIST, CONTINUED FROM PG. 46

[VISUAL ART]

BAND NIGHT Every Thursday!

DECEMBER 20 PETE BUSH & THE HOI POLI, SLIM FORSYTHE & THE NEW PAY DAY LOANERS, GRAND PIANO DECEMBER 27 EMO NIGHT 9 JANUARY 17 CORONADO

$1.75 PBR Drafts Everyday 9-11

2204 E. CARSON ST. (412) 431-5282

Transform Communities. Folk art objects illustrating the power of women working together to provide for their families, educate their children, promote equality, & give back to their communities. BugWorks. Feat. beautiful photography of insects, amazing specimens, & live bugs!

Life: A Journey Through Time & Population Impact thru Jan., Winging It: Experimental Gallery About Birds thru March, Lord of the Crane Flies thru April. Ongoing: Earth Revealed, Dinosaurs In Their Time, more. Oakland.

412-622-3131.

CARNEGIE SCIENCE CENTER. Ongoing: Buhl Digital Dome (planetarium), Miniature Railroad and Village, USS Requin submarine, and more. North Side.

412-237-3400.

CARRIE FURNACE. Built in 1907, Carrie Furnaces 6 & 7 are extremely rare examples of pre World War II iron-making technology. Rankin.

412-464-4020 x.21.

COMPASS INN. Demos and tours with costumed guides featuring this restored stagecoach stop.

Ligonier. 724-238-4983.

CONNEY M. KIMBO GALLERY. University of Pittsburgh Jazz Exhibit: Memorabilia & Awards from the International Hall of Fame. Oakland. 412-648-7446.

DEPRECIATION LANDS MUSEUM. Small living history museum celebrating the settlement and history of the

Depreciation Lands. Allison Park.

412-486-0563.

FALLINGWATER. Tour the famed Frank Lloyd Wright house.

Ohiopyle. 724-329-8501.

FIRST PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH. Tours of 13 Tiffany stained-glass windows. Downtown.

412-471-3436.

FORT PITT MUSEUM. Reconstructed fort houses museum of Pittsburgh history circa French & Indian War and American Revolution. Downtown.

412-281-9285.

FRICK ART & HISTORICAL CENTER. Ongoing: tours of Clayton, the Frick estate, with classes, car & carriage museum.

Point Breeze. 412-371-0600.

FUTURE TENANT. Guns vs.

Butter. Posters detailing struggles against war & military aggression feat. print work by members of Justseeds, historical pieces from Interference Archive, & the Justseeds/Iraq Veterans Against the War collaborative portfolio “War is Trauma.”. Downtown.

347-404-2677.

HARTWOOD ACRES. Tour this Tudor mansion and stable complex, and enjoy hikes and outdoor activities in the surrounding park.

Allison Park. 412-767-9200.

KENTUCK KNOB. Tour the other Frank Lloyd Wright house.

Chalk Hill. 724-329-8501.

KERR MEMORIAL MUSEUM. Tours of a restored 19th-century, Eva Rorandelli’s portraits might, at first glance, resemble middle-class home. Oakmont. the shimmery, patterned paintings of Gustav Klimt. But 412-826-9295. closer inspection shows that Rorandelli’s women are, MARIDON MUSEUM. Collection more modernly, surrounded by wires and circuit boards. includes jade and ivory statues from China and Japan, as well As the Italian artist and model — whose exhibit, as Meissen porcelain. Butler. , is currently on display at Christine 724-282-0123.

Frechard Gallery — explains, “my work investigates MCGINLEY HOUSE & MCCULLY contemporary perceptions of identity by questioning LOG HOUSE. Historic homes open for tours, lectures and more. what is ‘real’ as the world becomes increasingly artificial.”

Monroeville. 412-373-7794.

Through Tue., Jan. 1. 5871 Forbes Ave., Squirrel Hill. Call NATIONAL AVIARY. Home to 412-421-8888 or visit www.christinefrechardgallery.com. more than 600 birds from over 200 species. With classes, lectures, demos and more. North Side.

3 outdoor gardens feature exotic 412-323-7235. community artifacts from 1881plants and floral displays from NATIONALITY ROOMS. 26 1986. Homestead. 412-464-4020. around the world. Oakland. rooms helping to tell the story SENATOR JOHN HEINZ 412-622-6914. of Pittsburgh’s immigrant past.

HISTORY CENTER. Gridiron PHOTO ANTIQUITIES. Tintypes.

University of Pittsburgh. Oakland.

Glory: The Best of the Pro Football Photographs on polished steel 412-624-6000.

Hall of Fame. More than 200 that brought the first lower-cost, OLD ST. LUKE’S. Pioneer church football artifacts, rare photos, indestructible photos within price features 1823 pipe organ, & one-of-a-kind documents. range of the average person.

Revolutionary War graves. Scott.

Ongoing: Western PA Sports North Side. 412-231-7881.

412-851-9212.

Museum, Clash of Empires, and PINBALL PERFECTION. OLIVER MILLER HOMESTEAD. exhibits on local history, more.

Pinball museum & This pioneer/Whiskey Strip District. 412-454-6000. players club. West View.

Rebellion site features log SEWICKLEY HEIGHTS HISTORY 412-931-4425. house, blacksmith shop CENTER. Museum commemorates PITTSBURGH ZOO & gardens. South Park.

Pittsburgh industrialists, local & PPG AQUARIUM. 412-835-1554. history. Sewickley. 412-741-4487. . www per Home to 4,000 PENNSYLVANIA SOCIETY FOR CONTEMPORARY a p ty pghci m animals, including TROLLEY MUSEUM. CRAFT SATELLITE GALLERY. .co many endangered Trolley rides and exhibits.

Badges & Buttons, Waistcoats & species. Highland Park.

Includes displays, walking Vests. Highlights badges by 20 412-665-3639. tours, gift shop, picnic area and makers from the US & the UK. RACHEL CARSON Trolley Theatre. Washington.

Downtown. 412-261-7003 x 12.

HOMESTEAD. A Reverence 724-228-9256.

SOLDIERS & SAILORS for Life. Photos and artifacts PHIPPS CONSERVATORY MEMORIAL HALL. Military of her life & work. Springdale. & BOTANICAL GARDEN. museum dedicated to honoring 724-274-5459.

Winter Flower Show & Light military service members since RIVERS OF STEEL NATIONAL Garden. Feat. poinsettias, the Civil War through artifacts HERITAGE AREA. Exhibits on the evergreens, whimsical lights & & personal mementos. Oakland.

Homestead Mill. Steel industry and adornments. 14 indoor rooms & 412-621-4253.

Fractures

21st . c e D y a Frid

$2 BUD LIGHT $3 FIREBALL WHIS K

REBALL I F & D BU GIRLS

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7pm live acoustic music w/brad 10pm D.J. PHUNK PHONIC

JEKYL AND HYDE | 140 S. 18TH STREET 412-488-0777 | BARSMART.COM/JEKYLANDHYDE

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.19/12.26.2012

FULL LIST ONLINE

ST. ANTHONY’S CHAPEL. Features 5,000 relics of Catholic saints. North Side. 412-323-9504.

ST. NICHOLAS CROATIAN CATHOLIC CHURCH. Maxo Vanka Murals. Mid-20th century murals depicting war, social justice and the immigrant experience in America.

Millvale. 421-681-0905.

THE TOONSEUM. Pittsburgh Scores! The Pro Scoreboard Art of Kensington Falls Animation.

Animations feat. on the Jumbotron at Pirates, Steelers & Penguin games. Downtown. 412-232-0199.

WEST OVERTON MUSEUMS. Learn about distilling and coke-making in this pre-Civil War industrial village. Scottdale.

724-887-7910.

HOLIDAY THU 20 - SUN 23 OPEN CANDLELIGHT CHAPEL W/ CHRISTMAS MUSIC. Dec. 20-23, 7-9 p.m. Pittsburgh New Church, Point Breeze. 412-731-7421.

PEOPLES GAS HOLIDAY MARKET. Entertainment, shopping, more. Thru Dec. 23 Market Square, Downtown.

412-471-1511.

THU 20 - WED 26 HOLIDAY CO-OP. Showcase of unique, handmade works for sale.

Thru Jan. 6, 2013 709 Penn Gallery, Downtown. 412-471-6070.

HOLIDAY LIGHT & MUSIC SHOW. Thru Jan. 2, 2013 Pittsburgh Technical Institute, Oakdale. 1-800-784-9675.

SUN 23 “UGLY CHRISTMAS SWEATER” PARTY. 6 p.m. The Handle Bar & Grille, Canonsburg.

724-746-4227.

MON 24 CHRISTMAS EVE CANDLELIGHT SERVICE. 6 p.m. First Presbyterian Church, Downtown.

412-471-3436.

THE HOLIDAY SHOP. Feat. art & crafts from over 180 regional artists. Mon. Thru Dec. 31 Pittsburgh Center for the Arts, Shadyside. 412-361-0873.

TRADITIONAL “TABLEAUX VIVANT” CHRISTMAS EVE PAGEANT. Hymns, readings, elaborately costumed live scenes.

4:30 p.m. Pittsburgh New Church, Point Breeze. 412-731-7421.

DANCE FRI 21 - SUN 23 THE NUTCRACKER. Presented by the Pittsburgh Ballet Theatre.

Fri-Sun. Thru Dec. 30 Benedum Center, Downtown. 412-456-6666.

FUNDRAISERS SAT 22 CHRISTMAS BAKE SALE. Baked goods, pirohy, more.

10 a.m.-5 p.m. St. John the Baptist Orthodox Greek Catholic Church, Ambridge. 412-749-0675.

CONTINUES ON PG. 50

VISUAL

ART

“Nothing Is Inevitable Everything Is Possible” by Pete Yahnke Railand, from Prints by Justseeds Artists Cooperative at Crazy Mocha, Bloomfield

ONGOING 28 WEST SECOND GALLERY & STUDIO SPACE. Deck the Halls: Annual Holiday Exhibition. Group show.

Greensburg. 724-205-9033.

707 PENN GALLERY. After Dark. Mysterious & evocative images by Carolina LoyolaGarcia & Colter Harper.

Downtown. 412-325-7017.

AMERICAN JEWISH MUSEUM. Radiant Circles: Ruth E. Levine’s Generous Life.

Key work from Levine’s various artistic stages. Squirrel Hill.

412-521-8010.

ANDY WARHOL MUSEUM. Deborah Kass: Before & Happily Ever After. A major mid-career retrospective of paintings, photographs & sculpture. Warhol:Headlines.

A collection of works by Warhol based largely on headlines from tabloid news.

Jeremy Kost: Friends w/ Benefits.

Photography. I Just Want to

Watch: Warhol’s Film, Video and Television. Long-term exhibition of Warhol’s film & video work. Permanent collection. Artwork and artifacts by the famed Pop Artist. North Side.

412-237-8300.

ARTISTS IMAGE RESOURCE. Printwork 2012. National juried print exhibition feat. over 20 artists. North Side.

412-321-8664.

BARCO LAW LIBRARY. Preta. New paintings by Joshua Nickerson. Oakland.

BE GALLERIES. In the Words of Daria Sandburg.

Sculpture & jewelry.

Lawrenceville. 412-687-2606.

BIDDLE’S ESCAPE. The Collective Works of Joyce Werwie Perry. Oil & knife paintings. Regent Square.

412-999-9009.

BLUE OLIVE GALLERIES. All Local Artists. Multi media work. Artist in the Window.

Photography by Matt Kisasonak.

Frazier. 724-275-7001.

BOULEVARD GALLERY. A Little Bit of Everything.

Multimedia work by Mary Ann Saccomanno & Autumn Delellis Stankay. Verona.

412-828-1031.

BOXHEART GALLERY. Celebrate the Season. Group show feat. painting, jewelry, ceramics, more. Bloomfield.

412-687-8858.

CARNEGIE MUSEUM OF ART. White Cube, Green Maze: New Art Landscapes.

6 innovative institutions dedicated to the experience of culture & nature. Cory Arcangel: Masters. Repurposed readymade digital technology.

Oakland. 412-622-3131.

CATHOLIC CHARITIES BUILDING. Park Journeys: Yellowstone. Work by Manchester Craftsmen’s Guild students. Downtown.

412-456-6999.

CHATHAM UNIVERSITY. Culture in Context. African CONTINUES ON PG. 51

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Asian XXX Star & World-Class Pole Dancer:

[KIDSTUFF] dance class & story time session w/ a costumed dancer. Presented

by Pittsburgh Ballet Theatre. Sat, 10:30-11 a.m. Thru Dec. 22 Phipps Conservatory & Botanical Garden, Oakland. 412-622-6914.

SUN 23 BOOK ‘EM BOOKS TO PRISONERS WORK PARTY. Read & code letters, pick books, pack ‘em or database ‘em! Sundays 4-7 p.m. or by appt. Thomas Merton Center, Garfield. 412-361-3022.

SAT 22 - SUN 23

LITERARY

TUES. thru SATURDAY

DEC. 18-22 XXXmas Matinee Party Shows All Day & Night, Noon til ??

FRIDAY, DEC. 21 NEXT: Girlfriend Film’s Hottest Contract Star

Prinzzess DEC. 26-31 ITE

AMATEUR N 26 .

WED, DEC

BEAUTY & THE BEAST HOLIDAY. Sat, Sun. Thru Dec. 23 Gemini Theater, Point Breeze.

412-243-5201.

THU 20 BOOKS IN THE AFTERNOON. Zorro by Isabel Allende. 1 & 6 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland.

412-622-3151.

ENGLISH LEARNERS’ BOOK CLUB. For advanced ESL students.

Presented in cooperation w/ the Greater Pittsburgh Literacy Council.

Thu, 1 p.m. Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon.

412-531-1912.

THE HOUR AFTER HAPPY HOUR WRITER’S WORKSHOP. Young writers & recent graduates looking for additional feedback on their work. Thu The Big Idea Bookstore & Cafe, Bloomfield.

412-687-4323.

PITTSBURGH WRITES. Weekly writer’s workshop. Thu Crazy Mocha Coffee Company, Sewickley.

412-708-3312.

WED 26 FAMILY FUN DAYS. Discovery stations, crafts, more.

Dec. 26-30, 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Phipps Conservatory & Botanical Garden, Oakland. 412-622-6914.

OUTSIDE FRI 21 WISE WALK. 1-mile walk around Oakland. Fri, 10:30 a.m. Thru Jan. 25 Carnegie Library, Oakland.

412-622-3151.

SAT 22

FRI 21 135 9th Street 412-281-7703 www.blushexotic.com

DOWNTOWN PITTSBURGH

MYSTERY BOOK DISCUSSION GROUP. Wild Indigo by Sandi Ault.

1 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland.

412-622-3151.

WED 26 CARNEGIE KNITS & READS. Informal knitting session. Wed, 5 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland.

412-622-3116.

CONVERSATION SALON. Second Fri of every month, 2 p.m. and Fourth Wed of every month, 1 p.m. Northland Public Library, McCandless. 412-366-8100.

KIDSTUFF

Because you’d have to travel pretty far from here to get an actual desert experience — and because deserts aren’t great places for toddlers — Phipps Conservatory & Botanical Gardens brings a bit of the desert to 2- and 3-year-olds. At Our Desert Adventure, an installment of the one-day Little Sprouts Camp, kids can spend the morning getting acquainted with cacti and other wildlife, making healthy snacks, and exploring the gardens. 10:30 a.m. Thu., Dec. 20. 1 Schenley Park, Oakland. $48-60. Call 412-441-4442, x3925 or visit phipps.conservatory.org.

$10 FREE WITH ER EV Y $50 YOU BUY!

PLAN YOUR HOLIDAY PARTY NOW! CALL US TO BOOK.

1060 Settlers Ridge Center Drive Robinson Township • 412.788.0777 50

PITTSBURGH GH CITY PAPER 12 12.19/12.26.2012 19/12 26 2012

TUE 25 SURVIVAL BASICS. Tue, 3-4:30 p.m. Schenley Park, Oakland. 412-477-4677.

WED 26 WEDNESDAY MORNING WALK. Naturalist-led, rain or shine. Wed Beechwood Farms, Fox Chapel.

412-963-6100.

OTHER STUFF THU 20

THU 20 - WED 26

Y HOLIDA S D R A C T F I G

CHRISTMAS BIRD COUNT. 7 a.m.-5 p.m. Todd Nature Reserve, Sarver. 412-963-6100.

STEP INTO SNOWSHOES. Snowshoeing/skiing every Sat. w/ at least 4” of snow on the ground. Call Friday to confirm.

Sat. Thru March 30 Jennings Environmental Center, Slippery Rock. 724-794-6011.

BACKYARD EXHIBIT. Musical desert life, healthy snacks & swing set, sandbox, solar-powered exploring Conservatory gardens. instruments, more. Ongoing Ages 2-3, adult accompaniment Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, is required. 10:30 a.m.-12 p.m.

North Side. 412-322-5058.

Phipps Conservatory & Botanical CHARLIE & KIWI’S Garden, Oakland. 412-441-4442 EVOLUTIONARY ADVENTURE. x 3925.

Join Charlie as he travels MISSING LINKS (THE RAINBOW back to the Age of Dinosaurs to JUMPY). Bounce, jump, roll, run & discover how evolution works.

Feat. story theater & discovery area. walk through a 30-foot inflatable “jumpy” art piece created by Felipe Presented by Commonwealth Dulzaides. On loan from The Connections Academy.

New Children’s Museum, Tue-Sun. Thru May 12 San Diego CA. Thru Carnegie Museum Feb. 3, 2013 Children’s of Natural History, Museum of Oakland. 412-622-3131.

Pittsburgh, North Side. www. per GLOW: a p 412-322-5058. pghcitym FLUORESCENT .co TOUGH ART. InteracPAINTING & tive artworks feat. John SILKSCREENS. Create w/ Pena, Scott Andrew, Jonathan fluorescent colors in the Silk Armistead, Jeremy Boyle, Kevin Screen & Painting areas of Clancy & Will Schlough. Thru the Studio. Thru Dec. 31, 10 Jan. 13, 2013 Children’s Museum a.m.-4:30 p.m. Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. of Pittsburgh, North Side.

412-322-5058.

412-322-5058.

LITTLE SPROUTS CAMP: OUR DESERT ADVENTURE. Fun, GIANT EAGLE CHILD educational activities highlighting

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FRI 21

DEVELOPMENT SERIES: HEALTHY NUTRITION. 11 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side.

412-322-5058.

SAT 22 FAMILY SING-ALONG W/ FRANK CAPPELLI. A festive sing-along of favorite seasonal tunes. 2-4 p.m.

Carnegie Museum of Art, Oakland.

412-622-3131.

FREE COMMUNITY ORCHESTRA FOR FAMILIES. All levels of orchestra instruments are invited.

Parents are invited to join & play w/ their children. Sat, 3-4:30 p.m. Thru May 18 East Liberty Presbyterian Church, East Liberty. 412-441-3800 x 11.

PAPER DOLL WORKSHOP W/ CHRIS FONDI. Use found & up-cycled materials to create your own art doll character.

Ages 6+. 1-4 p.m. Irma Freeman Center for Imagination, Garfield.

412-924-0634.

SATURDAYS W/ THE SUGAR PLUM FAIRY. Creative movement

CITY DHARMA. Soto Zen Meditation. jisen@deepspringzen. org Thu, 6:30-8:15 p.m. Church of the Redeemer, Squirrel Hill.

CULTURE CLUB. Salon-style conversation & happy hour. Third Thu of every month, 5:30-9 p.m.

Carnegie Museum of Art, Oakland.

412-622-3131.

INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S ASSOCIATION OF PITTSBURGH. Social, cultural club of American/ international women. Thu First Baptist Church, Oakland. iwap. pittsburgh@gmail.com.

MEDITATION & WHOLE LIFE TRANSFORMATION. Supreme Meditation & the Science of Transformation w/ Acharya Kedar. Free public program.

Doors open at 7:15, seating ends at 8 p.m. 7:30 p.m. Winchester Thurston, Upper School, Shadyside.

724-420-5826.

RENAISSANCE DANCE GUILD. Learn a variety of dances from the 15-17th centuries. Porter Hall, Room A18A. Thu, 8 p.m. Carnegie Mellon University, Oakland.

412-567-7512.

CONTINUES ON PG. 52

VISUAL ART

CONTINUED FROM PG. 49

Art from the Olkes Collection.

Shadyside. 412-365-1232.

CHRISTINE FRECHARD GALLERY. Fractures. Paintings

by Eva Rorandelli. Squirrel Hill.

412-421-8888.

CRAZY MOCHA COFFEE COMPANY. Prints by Justseeds Artists Cooperative. Bloomfield.

412-681-5225.

EASTSIDE GALLERY. Ceramic Creatures. Work

by Bernie Pintar. East Liberty.

412-465-0140.

EVOLVER TATTOO ARTS. OnSIGHT Art Night.

3D paintings by Nathan Van Patter. South Side.

412-481-1004.

FE GALLERY. Beautiful Dreamers: A Celebration of Pittsburgh Women.

Portraits by Sonja Sweterlitsch. Lawrenceville.

412-254-4038.

FEIN ART GALLERY. 5th Annual Holiday Show.

Affordable art for the holidays.

Curated by Kathleen Zimbicki.

412-321-6816.

FILMMAKERS GALLERIES. Marcellus Shale Documentary Project. More than 50 photographic images which tell the stories of Pennsylvanians affected by the Marcellus Shale gas industry. Curated

by Laura Domencic. Oakland.

412-681-5449.

FIREBORN STUDIOS & GALLERY. Holiday Pottery Sale.

South Side. 412-488-6835.

FRICK ART & HISTORICAL CENTER. Impressions of Interiors. Paintings by Walter Gay. Permanent collection of European Art. Point Breeze.

412-371-0600.

GALERIE WERNER, THE MANSIONS ON FIFTH. Moods of Pittsburgh II: Expired Mills, Inspired Landscapes.

Group show. Oakland.

412-716-1390.

GALLERIE CHIZ. Crossing Borders. Work by Peter Calaboyias, Manuela Holban, Japa, Marina Mozhayeva, more.

Shadyside. 412-441-6005.

THE GALLERY 4. The Sepia Show. New Works by Anthony Purcell. Shadyside.

412-363-5050.

GALLERY ON 43RD STREET. Small Works from Norway. Paintings by Dylan Cridtchfield-Sales.

Lawrenceville. 412-683-6488.

GAY & LESBIAN COMMUNITY CENTER. Royal Portrait Show.

Drag portraits. Downtown.

412-422-0114.

GLENN GREENE STAINED GLASS STUDIO INC. Original Glass Art by Glenn Greene. Exhibition of new work, recent work & older work. Regent Square.

412-243-2772.

IMAGEBOX. Wanderlust.

International Travel Photography Exhibit by John Ubinger. Garfield.

412-592-8885.

IRMA FREEMAN CENTER FOR IMAGINATION. Dolls3.

Artistic doll interpretations

by Joyce Compton, Emily Eckel & Chris Fondi. Garfield.

412-924-0634.

JAMES GALLERY. NIGHT/ LIGHT. Fire Drawings by Paul Chojnowski. West End. 412-922-9800.

LA PRIMA ESPRESSO. Paintings/Prints of Italy.

Prints of Vince Ornato’s oil paintings of Italy. Strip District.

412-281-1922.

LAKEVUE ATHLETIC CLUB. Pop-Up Gallery. Work by a variety of artists. Valencia.

724-316-9326.

LAWRENCE HALL GALLERY. Landscape Expressions.

Work by Lynn Fero. Downtown.

412-392-8008.

MANCHESTER CRAFTSMEN’S GUILD. Flat Files. Illustration & cartoon art by Wayno. North Side.

412-322-1773.

MATTRESS FACTORY. Feminist and.. New work

by Julia Cahill, Betsy Damon, Parastou Forouhar, Loraine Leeson, Ayanah Moor, & Carrie Mae Weems. Ongoing Installations. Works by Turrell, Lutz, Kusama, Anastasi, Highstein, Wexler & Woodrow.

North Side. 412-231-3169.

MENDELSON GALLERY. Mark Gualtieri & Friends: A Linear Conversation. Shadyside.

412-361-8664.

MICHAEL HERTRICH ART & FRAME. Out of the Woods. Paintings by Patrick Ruane. South Side.

412-431-3337.

MILLER GALLERY AT CARNEGIE MELLON UNIVERSITY. Imperfect Health: The Medicalization of Architecture. Feat. photographs, sculpture, architectural models & drawings, that together examine the relationships between design & health.

Oakland. 412-268-4754.

MODERNFORMATIONS GALLERY. Ghosts, etc. Work

by David Bernabo, Ben Filio, Mark Mangini, Talon Smith, Emily Zuzack, more. Garfield.

412-362-0274.

MORGAN CONTEMPORARY GLASS GALLERY. Cheers, Salute, L’chaim To The Next 50!

Group show feat. Ellen Abbott & Marc Leva, Alex Bernstein, Judi Charlson, more. Shadyside.

412-441-5200.

THE MR. ROBOTO PROJECT. Cowboy House Presents. Feat. work by Fred Frances, Jeff Gibbons, Matt Glove, & Mike Madsen. Bloomfield.

OLD ECONOMY VILLAGE. Faces & Places: Photographs of Old Economy. Never before seen photography from the late 19th & early 20th centuries.

Ambridge. 724-266-4500.

PANZA GALLERY. New Classic Images. Silk screens & limited edition prints by Dave Klug.

Millvale. 412-821-0959.

PHOTO ANTIQUITIES. The History of Photography.

Plus preservation and education exhibits. Shantytown - The Ed Salamony Photographs.

Experience the Depression in Pittsburgh’s shantytown through this historic photographic documentary. North Side.

412-231-7881.

PICTURESQUE PHOTOGRAPHY & GIFTS. Photography by Brenda Knoll.

Lawrenceville. 412-688-0240.

PITTSBURGH CENTER FOR THE ARTS. White Show: Subtlety in the Age of Spectacle.

Group show feat. Jaq Belcher, David Burke, Ellen Carey, Mark Franchino, Jane Haskell, Marietta Hoferer, more.

Romancing the Tone. Group show feat. Lenka Clayton, Corey Escoto, Rachel E Foster, David Leggett, Rebecca Mir & Sayward Schoonmaker. Small Step Giant Leap. Group show feat. members of the Keystone West artist collective. Shadyside.

412-361-0873.

PITTSBURGH GLASS CENTER. American Idols. Exhibition by John Moran feat. glass busts of all 43 U.S. presidents. Friendship.

412-365-2145.

THE SOCIETY FOR CONTEMPORARY CRAFT. Bridge 12. Work by Melissa Cameron, Betty Vera, & Kevin Snipes. Strip District.

412-261-7003 x 12.

SPACE. Romper Room.

Work by Jae Roberto, Jacob Ciocci, Jim Lingo, Jen Cooney, Matt Barton & Thad Kellstadt.

Curated by Ladyboy.

Downtown. 412-325-7723.

THE TOONSEUM. New Action Evolution. Impressionistic superhero paintings by David Leblanc. Downtown.

412-232-0199.

WESTMORELAND MUSEUM OF AMERICAN ART. Your Art Needs You. 177 faded or damaged works which visitors can adopt, funding restoration. Born of Fire: The Valley Work. Greensburg.

724-837-1500.

WOOD STREET GALLERIES. The City & the City: Artwork

by London Writers. Visual art by authors of experimental poetry, fiction, history & geography, exploring new ways to combine literature & art in an examination of the modern city. Downtown.

412-471-5605.

Sponsored By

Calender Signing / Meet & Greet with

Heather Chadwell December 21st BELLA LUNA TRATTORIA

December 22nd BIRMINGHAM BRIDGE TAVERN

5060 William Penn Hwy, Monroeville, PA 15146

2901 Sarah St., Pittsburgh, PA

RICKS SPORTS BAR & GRILLE

PITTSBURGH GRILLE

5400 William Penn Hwy, Export, PA 15632

381 North Shore Dr, Pittsburgh, PA 15212

UNCLE BUCKLES BAR & GRILLE 1095 Unity Center Rd., Plum, PA 15239

McFADDEN’S RESTAURANT AND SALOON

BREWSTONE BEER COMPANY

211 North Shore Dr, Pittsburgh PA, 15212

3466 William Penn Hwy, Pittsburgh, PA 15235

New Year’s Eve 2012

Wherever your holiday plans take you you, have the best and brightest of New Years! bigburrito.com

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BIG LIST, CONTINUED FROM PG. 50

make a real connection Call Livelinks.

The hottest place to meet the coolest people.

WEEKLY WELLNESS CIRCLE. Group acupuncture & guided meditation for stress-relief. Thu DeMasi Wellness, Aspinwall.

412-927-4768.

WEST COAST SWING. Swing dance lessons for all levels. Thu, 7 p.m. Pittsburgh Dance Center, Bloomfield. 412-681-0111.

The ToonSeum, Downtown.

412-232-0199.

SATURDAY NIGHT SALSA CRAZE. Free lessons, followed by dancing. Sat, 10 p.m. La Cucina Flegrea, Downtown. 412-708-8844.

SCOTTISH COUNTRY DANCING. Lessons 7-8 p.m., social dancing follows. No partner needed. Mon, 7 p.m. and Sat, 7 p.m. Grace Episcopal Church, Mt. Washington. 412-683-5670.

LUBE IDOL. American SPANISH Idol-style singing contest.

CONVERSATION Fri, 10 p.m. Thru Jan. 18 GROUP. Friendly, Quaker Steak & informal. Union Project Lube, Cranberry. www. per pa cafe. Sat, 3:30-5:30 p.m.

724-778-9464. pghcitym .co Union Project, Highland SOULSTICE Park. 412-362-6108.

CELEBRATION. SWING CITY. Learn & practice Synchronous labyrinth event swing dancing skills. Sat, 8 p.m. w/ a dedication of a new labyrinth Wightman School, Squirrel Hill. in Santa Barbara, CA. 3:30 p.m.

412-759-1569.

Homestead Labyrinth, Homestead.

412-400-3779.

TWIN FAWNS. Myth storytelling, dancing, more w/ Sam Perry.

AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL Ages 21+. 7-10 p.m. Assemble, HUMAN RIGHTS CAFE. Garfield.

Weekly letter writing event. Sun, 4-6 p.m. Panera Bread, Oakland.

412-683-3727.

BRUNCH IN BLOOM. Seasonal KOREAN FOR BEGINNERS. & sustainably-grown brunch.

Korean grammar & basic Call for reservation. Sun. Thru conversation. Sat, 1 p.m. Carnegie Dec. 30 Phipps Conservatory Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151. & Botanical Garden, Oakland.

KOREAN II. For those who already 412-622-6914. have a basic understanding FROM PLANNING TO CANNING of Korean & are interested in increasing proficiency. Sat Carnegie GARDENING CLASS. Fourth and Second Sun of every month Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151.

Pittsburgh Public Market, Strip RICK SEBAK MEET & GREET District. 412-281-4505. & DVD RELEASE. 11 a.m.-1 p.m.

FRI 21

FULL LIST ONLINE

SUN 23

SAT 22

Try it Free!

412.566.1861 Ahora en Español 18+

www.livelinks.com

WED 26

PERFORMANCES BY:

Katarina Kat Slick Rick Stevie B DJ Endless

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.19/12.26.2012

COMPETITIVE SCRABBLE. Seeking new players, no experience necessary. Wednesdays, Squirrel Hill. 412-422-7878.

LET’S SPEAK ENGLISH! Practice conversational English. Wed, 5 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland.

412-622-3151.

PFLAG WASHINGTON. Support, education & advocacy for the LGBTQ community, family & friends. Fourth Wed of every month First Presbyterian Church, Downtown. 412-471-3436.

THE PITTSBURGH SHOW OFFS. A meeting of jugglers & spinners.

All levels welcome. Wed, 7:30 p.m.

Union Project, Highland Park.

412-363-4550.

WEST COAST SWING WEDNESDAYS. Swing dance lessons. Wed, 9 p.m. The Library, South Side. 916-287-1373.

AUDITIONS ATL-NYC PRODUCTIONS. Auditions for new TV show, I Want To Be Discovered. Log onto www.iwant2bdiscovered online.com & post video of group or individual talent.

3 minutes max.

DISCOVER ME! Looking for actors (men only), between the ages of 18-30 for auditions. Call Robert for further details. 412-904-2954.

LATSHAW PRODUCTIONS. Auditions for fall & Christmas traveling orchestra shows.

Ongoing. Male/female singers & dancers. 412-728-2193.

MCCAFFERY MYSTERIES. Ongoing auditions for actors ages 18+ for murder mystery shows performed in the Pittsburgh area.

412-833-5056.

NEW CASTLE PLAYHOUSE. Auditions for 9 to 5 The Musical.

Jan. 14-15. Men/women age 18+, 2-min. selection showing vocal range, bring sheet music. New Castle. 724-654-3437.

THE RAGE OF THE STAGE PLAYERS. Auditions for “Winnie-the-Pooh & The Seven Deadly Sins. World-premiere of the racy, adult comedy!

Must be 18+. Email rageof thestage@yahoo.com w/ questions & submission. More info at www.facebook.com/rageof thestage. 724-292-8427.

THE REP. Equity principal auditions for Antarktikos. Sides from the script will be provided when making an appointment.

Reader will be provided. Bring a picture & resume, stapled together.

Call or email e-mail ademara@ pointpark.edu for appointment.

Pittsburgh Playhouse, Oakland.

412-392-8141.

by film & visual artists to display in new gallery. McKees Rocks.

412-969-2990.

INDEPENDENT FILM NIGHT. Submit your film, 10 minutes or less. Screenings held on the second Thursday of every month. DV8 Espresso Bar & Gallery, Greensburg.

724-219-0804.

MCKEES ROCKS COMMUNITY DEVELOPMENT CORPORATION. Seeking qualified architect for design of the renovated facade & building exterior of the historic Roxian Theatre. For more information, email office_admin@ mckeesrocks.com. 412-331-9901.

NEW SLANG LITERARY MAGAZINE FOR WOMEN AND GIRLS IN PITTSBURGH. Literary magazine supported by The Women and Girls Foundation.

Taking submissions of creative writing, visual art, photographs, and essays from women and girls of all ages. www.new-slang.org PITTSBURGH CULTURAL TRUST. Seeking artists to design & develop functional bicycle racks to be located in various locations within the Cultural District. For

[VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITY]

UNSEAM’D

SHAKESPEARE COMPANY Unseam’d Shakespeare Company has spent the past two decades presenting audiences with fresh and inventive interpretations of classic and classically inspired plays. It is currently seeking theater-loving volunteers to help with its upcoming 20th-anniversary season. For more information, email unseamdshakes@gmail.com.

THE TALENT GROUP. Open casting for models and actors 1st Monday of every month.

11:45 AM, 5:45 PM. 412-471-8011.

UNSEAM’D SHAKESPEARE COMPANY. Filling positions for 20th Anniversary Season.

Accepting resumés from stage managers, costumers, prop masters, lighting designers & set designers. Volunteers are also needed. Not seeking actors at this time. Please send resumes & inquiries to unseamdshakes@ gmail.com.

SUBMISSIONS CITY OF ASYLUM/PITTSBURGH. Seeking writers from Western PA, aged 30+, who have published at least one full-length book of poetry, fiction, or non-fiction, to submit applications for a residency in Brussels, Belgium. More information at http://www.city ofasylumpittsburgh.org/.

DIGITAL FILM COMPETITION. Competition for middle and high school students on the impact of STEM (science, technology, engineering & math) in their lives. Presented in partnership with Pittsburgh Filmmakers.

Visit www.scitechfestival.org/film for information.

GALLERY FLYNN. Seeking work

design requirements & other information: http://trustarts.org/ visualarts/bike 412-471-6070.

THE POET BAND COMPANY. Seeking various types of poetry. Contact wewuvpoetry@ hotmail.com REGENERATIONS. Seeking local artists, environmentalists, historians & other interested parties for Homewood & Allegheny cemeteries tree reclamation-art project. Email kennthomas2@ gmail.com for information.

SAINT VINCENT COLLEGE’S CENTER FOR POLITICAL & ECONOMIC THOUGHT. Seeking submissions to the Douglas B. Rogers Conditions of a Free Society Essay Competition. Open to full-time undergrad students in any field at any 4-year college or university in the US or Canada.

Visit www.stvincent.edu/cpet/ for information.

SIGNIFICANT & SUBLIME: THE CRITICAL ROLE OF ART TEACHERS IN PUBLIC EDUCATION. Seeking paintings, drawings, photography, sculpture, prints, & mixed media by current public school art teachers. Submit 3-5 JPEG images, artist statement & questions to: significantandsublime@gmail.com Panza Gallery, Millvale. 412-821-0959.

Cri cket ge Loun XXX-Mas Party

Savage Love {BY DAN SAVAGE}

I am a 17-year-old girl growing up in an adoptive family. I was sexually abused by my birth family, and I think it really fucked up my sexuality. The only thing that gets me off is the idea of people absolutely destroying their lives for an orgasm. I started with mild S&M stories and then moved on to grosser stuff like murder (stories and online images), pedo (stories only) and lately I’ve been thinking about my (adoptive) parents. The thing is, there isn’t a pattern as far as gender, age or relationship to the people I am fantasizing about; it just has to be horrible, the kind of thing that would destroy you in real life.

These fantasies alone are scary enough, but because they are literally the only things that get me off, I can’t even tell if I’m attracted to boys or girls or none of the above.

I’m scared to talk to a counselor because I don’t want to freak my parents out. I mean, overall I seem like a pretty healthy kid, and I try not to worry them.

Do you have any ideas for how I could get help with this without messing up my family?

NOT OVER PAINFUL EXPERIENCES

your letter with a sex researcher I trust, and she urges you to insist on seeing a reputable therapist who does sex therapy specifically, as they’re less likely to be sex-negative, or to react with prudish or panicked judgments.)

Considering the abuse you suffered, I trust that your adoptive parents are aware that you may need professional help and that your asking for help is a good sign about: (1) you as a person, and (2) them as parents.

At your very first appointment, ask your shrink to confirm that your sessions are confidential.

If your shrink tells you he or she can’t offer you complete confidentiality (which they can and, in most places, are required to do by law, unless you’re a danger to yourself or others), ask to see a different shrink.

Please get help — not because you may be kinky, but because you’re struggling with doubt, you’re confused about your sexual orientation, and you’re rightly worried about the way your erotic imagination keeps upping the “wrongness” ante. And remember: If you don’t click with the first one you see, tell your parents you want to see someone else.

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YOU NEED TO SEIZE CONTROL OF YOUR SEXUALITY, OR YOUR SENSE OF ESTRANGEMENT FROM IT WILL ONLY CONTINUE TO GROW.

Sane people can have extreme and/or violent sexual fantasies, NOPE, and extreme and/ or violent sexual fantasies do not make sane people crazy.

(Let’s call them EVSFs for short, shall we?)

But you need to talk to a shrink — not because you’re hopelessly damaged, but because you’re troubled by your fantasies. And that’s understandable. It’s difficult to have EVSFs — or to find a healthy way to incorporate EVSFs into your sex life, or to figure out how to dial EVSFs way the fuck back if there’s no healthy way to incorporate them into your sex life.

And while most people’s fantasies are relatively fixed (i.e., certain types of people or scenarios turn them on), your erotic imagination seems to be on the hunt for new “wrong” thoughts and scenarios. You need to seize control of your sexuality, and you’ll need help doing that, or your sense of estrangement from your sexuality will only continue to grow.

There are a lot of people who didn’t suffer the kind of abuse you did — or abuse at all — but who nevertheless have EVSFs. Some people with troubling fantasies or interests have found relief with low-dose antidepressants; some folks with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) have been helped by programs that incorporate MDMA, a.k.a. ecstasy, into their treatment. You could be suffering from PTSD, considering your history.

A good therapist — one with whom you are completely honest — may be able to help you reshape and redirect your fantasies in the direction that gives you the “wrongness” charge you need without nuking your mental health or your life. (Stay away from all pedo porn sites, even “stories only” porn. Please.)

And a good sex therapist can help you draw a clear distinction between your adult sexuality and your history of sexual abuse. (I shared

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I am gay and I have a brother who’s gay. The problem is, he is very much into humiliation. He exposes himself online and allows his online “masters” to have control over his pictures and videos. I found his pictures recently, and the embarrassment and humiliation were a huge turn-on for him. (We’ve never shown any interest sexually in each other. But when he asked if I had any naked pictures, I told him I did and sent some to him, and somehow that was a bit of a turnon, I must admit.) Soon, my brother told me that he felt really guilty, cleaned up his hard drive, deleted all his pics and mine and asked me to do the same, and swore off playing online. But I found evidence that he’s resumed this habit. This has been a pattern for him, he says, and he insists he was somehow damaged in childhood. I told him that he might be happier if he could just accept himself. But I don’t think he should quit his “addiction” cold-turkey.

BRO OF KINKY BRO

There are people whose sex lives are complete fucking shitshows, and all they’re into is sex in the missionary position with the lights off.

Your brother’s problem isn’t his childhood or his kink. His problems, plural, are his self-loathing, his attempts to swear off his kink (which leads to these binge-and-purge cycles), and the reckless ways he indulges his kink.

Instead of running from his kinks — which he can’t do — your brother needs to find safer, saner ways to satisfy his desire. People with humiliation kinks managed to find ways to get off before the Internet came along. So can your brother.

And you need to establish better boundaries. No more swapping pics with your kinky bro, and no more hunting for evidence of his ill-advised online adventures.

GREAT

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SEND IN YOUR QUESTIONS TO MAIL@SAVAGELOVE.NET AND FIND THE SAVAGE LOVECAST (DAN’S WEEKLY PODCAST) AT THESTRANGER.COM/SAVAGE

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Ink Well

WHY, JUST ONE SECOND!

{BY BEN TAUSIG}

ACROSS 1. “Totes” 8. Yiddish “gimmick” 15. More like a creepy bachelor’s sheets 16. Go away, as acne 17. Mouse hunter who washes down her meals with a sixpack from home?

18. Sexy tops 19. Sikh Guru 20. Remy’s brother in “Ratatouille” 21. “Lick my stilettos, Mr. Chairman of the House Committee on the Budget”?

27. Scottish bonnet 30. Home Depot rival 31. Short-lived ABC drama “___ Stone” 32. Device used in “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times” 35. OkCupid procurals 37. Tom Brady lighting jerseys on fire just to watch them burn?

40. Travels across the pond, say 41. 1975 blaxploitation classic starring Rudy Ray Moore 42. MacKaye of Fugazi 43. “L’Shana ___” (fall greeting) 45. Drug in “Apocalypse Now”

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.19/12.26.2012

46. Uncertain, in Red Square?

51. She plays Betty and Diane in “Mulholland Drive” 52. Kuwaiti throne-sitters 56. Correspond with, as an overlay 59. Hostile takeover of Jim Beam?

61. Word on tape?

62. Revolver maker 63. Kennedy Compound locale 64. Infomercial host’s promise

DOWN 1. Amazon.com ID 2. Reply to 10-Down 3. School near North Carolina’s Research Triangle 4. “Star Wars” admiral 5. Steve’s equivalent on the British “The Office” 6. Vote of approval 7. ___ Basel 8. Yiddish “weenie” 9. They may be adjusted 10. Reply to 2-Down 11. Fry source 12. It might be raised when you’re wronged 13. Junkyard dog 14. GI mess duties 20. UK king before George V 22. Baseball name

from 1958 to 1979 and 1990 to 2008 23. “... borrower ___ lender be” 24. Pixelated picture’s lack 25. Gives a seat 26. Bet 27. Sinks, as a ball inches from the hole 28. “Let’s change the subject” 29. Soldier in a Blue Dress 33. Twice, a cheerleader’s need 34. The UN and AOL have theirs in NYC 35. Rapper with a headphone brand 36. Raytheon syst.

38. Like a glove 39. K-12

43. Overly 44. “Dancing with the Stars” winner Donny 47. It takes up to 10 yrs. to mature 48. Freak out 49. Zags 50. Eve or Adam Yauch 53. Ninth Greek letter 54. Uncreative periods 55. Desex, as a pussy 56. 1200, on a monument 57. Insurance quote provider 58. One chasing tail?

59. “___ Baseball” (NES classic) 60. Word of foreshadowing, at the end of a sentence {LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS}

FOR THE WEEK OF

Free Will Astrology

12.19-12.26

{BY ROB BREZSNY}

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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):

well in two worlds. I will coach you to create a peace treaty with your

for far too long. Uncoincidentally, you will also have a talent for purging emotional burdens and psychic debris that you’ve been holding on to since the bad old days. No later than your birthday, if all goes well, you will be free from a subtle curse you’ve been casting on yourself; you will finally be attending to one of your long-neglected needs; and you will have turned some rather gawky, half-assed wizardry into a smooth and silky magic.

evil twin and your nemesis, and I will help you develop a knack for

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22):

In 2013, I pledge to conspire with you to achieve more mixtures, connections, accords and unifications than you ever thought possible.

I will furthermore be a fount of suggestions about how you can live

steering clear of other people’s bad ideas and sour moods. I can’t of course guarantee that you will never again experience a broken heart, but I swear I will do everything I can do to heal the broken part of your heart that you’ve been suffering from.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): When he was 21, the Capricorn writer Jack London set off to prospect for gold in the 1897 Klondike Gold Rush. He had a rough time there.

Malnourished, he suffered from scurvy and leg pain. To make matters worse, he didn’t find much gold, and returned home broke. On the other hand, he met scores of adventure-seekers who told him stories of their travels. These tales served as rich raw material for his novel The Call of the Wild, published in 1903. It made him famous and is generally regarded as his masterpiece. I’m guessing you will begin a similar trajectory in 2013, Capricorn. Events that may at first seem less than successful will ultimately breed a big breakthrough.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I can’t force you to seek more pleasure in 2013. I won’t nag you to play harder and explore the frontiers of feeling really good. However, I will say this: If you don’t plan to put yourself into at least partial alignment with the cosmic mandate to have maximum fun, you may not get the best use out of the advice I’ll be offering though my horoscopes in the coming year. Please consider the possibility of ramping up your capacity for pure enjoyment.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):

DELIGHT

The study of ancient Mayan civilization owes a lot to the fact that Americans started buying lots of chewing gum in the late 19th century. Huh? Here’s the connection: For a long time, chicle was one of the prime ingredients in Chiclets, Juicy Fruit, Bazooka bubble gum and many other brands of chewing gum. Chicle is obtained from the sap of sapodilla trees, which grow in abundance in Central America and Mexico.

Over the decades, workers harvesting the chicle accidentally found many Mayan ruins covered in overgrown vegetation, then told archaeologists about their discoveries. I foresee a metaphorically comparable sequence happening in your life during 2013. In unexpected ways, you will be put back in touch with and benefit from lost, forgotten or unexplored parts of the past.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Isaac Newton is regarded as one of the most influential scientists in history. But the time he

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spent as a member of the English Parliament was undistinguished. The only public comment he ever made while serving there was a request to close the window because he was cold.

Basketball star Michael Jordan had a similar schism. In the prime of his outstanding career, he took a year off to try playing baseball, which he did poorly. After analyzing 2013’s astrological aspects, Aries, I’m guessing that you should cultivate a firm intention to avoid doing what Newton and Jordan did. Keep playing to your strengths and emphasizing what you love. Don’t get sidetracked by peripheral concerns.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In 2013, I’d like to help you cultivate an even more reliable relationship with your intuitions and hunches than you already have. You may not need much guidance from me, since the astrological omens indicate this will happen quite naturally. There’s another kind of inspiration I hope to offer you in the coming months: clues about how to be “bad” in ways that will give your goodness more vigor. And when I say “bad,” I’m not referring to nastiness or insensitivity, but rather to wildness and playfulness and experimentation. Here’s one further service I want to provide, Taurus: helping you build a greater capacity to receive gifts, blessings and support.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In the year 1900, few people believed that human beings would ever fly through the sky in machines. Most scientists thought that such a feat was impossible. For years, the Wright Brothers had a hard time convincing anyone to believe their flights were actually taking place, even though they had photos and witness reports as documentation. Although the leap you’ll be capable of in 2013 isn’t quite as monumental as the Wright Brothers’, it could be pretty important in the history of your own life. You may also have to deal with skepticism akin to what they had to face. Be true to your vision, Gemini!

CANCER (June 21-July 22): In 2013, I predict you will see why it’s wise to phase out an influence you have loved to hate

In 2013, I pledge to help you raise your lovability. It’s not that you are unlovable now, of course, but there’s always room for improvement, right? And if people become even more attracted to you than they already are, then you’re likely to get a lot of collaborative and cooperative work done. You will thrive as you and your allies work on projects that make your corner of the world a better and more interesting place. So what are the first three actions you could take to raise your lovability?

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): First question: Have you ever thought to yourself, “I’m afraid I will never achieve my noblest dreams or live according to my highest ideas”?

Answer: There’s a very good chance that in the coming year you will banish that fear from the sacred temple of your imagination. Second question: Have you ever wondered if maybe you unconsciously undermine the efforts of people who are trying to assist you? Answer: In the coming months you should discover exactly what to do to prevent such a thing from happening. Third question: Do you know the single most important question you should be asking in 2013? Answer: I predict you will figure that out sometime in the next three weeks.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In 2013, I will be encouraging you to journey into the frontiers and experiment with the unknown. I will seek to inspire you to go in search of teachings you’ve needed for a long time.

Are you ready for this expansion, Libra? Are you feeling a natural urge to explore forbidden zones and discover missing secrets and mess with your outmoded taboos? As you might imagine, doing this work would motivate you to develop a healthier relationship with your fears. To bolster your courage, I suggest you find some new freedom songs to sing.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In 2013, I will do what I can to ensure that your fiscal biorhythms are in close alignment with the universal cash flow. You should have pretty good instincts about this worthy project yourself, Scorpio. And so there’s an excellent chance that your wealth will increase. The upgrade will be especially dramatic if you are constantly scheming about how you can share your riches and benefit other people with your generosity.

I think there will also be an interesting fringe benefit if you maintain maximum integrity as you enhance your access to valuable resources: You will develop a more useful relationship with your obsessive tendencies.

What’s the best gift you could give yourself this holiday season? Testify at FreeWillAstrology.com.

GO TO REALASTROLOGY.COM TO CHECK OUT ROB BREZSNY’S EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES AND DAILY TEXT-MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. THE AUDIO HOROSCOPES ARE ALSO AVAILABLE BY PHONE AT 1-877-873-4888 OR 1-900-950-7700

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DISCLAIMER: ALTHOUGH MOST ADVERTISING IN PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER ARE LEGITIMATE BUSINESSES, PRIOR TO INVESTING MONEY OR USING A SERVICE LOCATED WITHIN ANY SECTION OF THE CLASSIFIEDS WE SUGGEST THE FOLLOWING PROCEDURE: ASK FOR REFERENCES & BUSINESS LICENSE NUMBER, OR CALL/WRITE: THE BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU AT 412-456-2700 / 300 SIXTH AVE., STE 100-UL / PITTSBURGH, PA 15222. REMEMBER: IF IT SOUNDS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, IT USUALLY IS! N E W S

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Citizen Police Review Board 2013 Meeting Dates and Host Neighborhoods

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The following calendar maintains the tradtion of meeting at 6:00pm on the fourth Tuesday of every calendar month except as noted. The several meetings proposed of Council Chambers attempt to respond to the public recommendation that meeting at a centralized location may encourage increased public attendance.

HAULING

All Meetings Scheduled to Begin at 6:00pm

412-979-4587

D & S HAULING Reliable Low Rates

Sealed proposals shall be addressed to and deposited with Mr. Peter J. Camarda, Executive Director, Budget Development, Management and Operations, at the School District of Pittsburgh Administration Building, Room 251, 341 South Bellefield Avenue, Pittsburgh, PA 15213, on January 29, 2013, until 2:00 P.M., local prevailing time, from the following Prime Contractor(s), building(s), location(s), and Project Site Work:

• Various HVAC Renovations • Pittsburgh Carrick High School • Pittsburgh, PA Off-site work shall be started on the Project no later than ten (10) days after the execution of a Contract with the Owner or as otherwise directed in writing. On-site work shall start June 18, 2013.

The work shall be substantially completed and ready for Owner use on August 23, 2013. Punch List items must be completed 30 days after substantial completion.

Details regarding: Pre-Bid Conferences, Substance Abuse, Eligible Business Opportunity Program, procedures for withdrawing bids, Pennsylvania Prevailing Wage Act, etc. are described in each project manual.

Project Manual and Drawings for bidding purposes will be available for purchase by the Contractors December 21, 2012 at Modern Reproductions, 127 McKean Street, Pittsburgh, PA 15219, between 9:30 A.M. to 4:00 P.M. Modern Reproductions may be contacted by phone 412-488-7700 or Fax 412-488-7338 to determine the cost of the Project Manual and Documents. The cost of the Project Manual and Documents is non-refundable.

The School District of Pittsburgh reserves the right to waive any informality in bids or to reject any or all bids.

By Order of the Board of Public Education Dr. Linda Lane, Superintendent of Schools and Secretary

DATE

NEIGHBORHOOD

ADDRESS

January 22, 2013

Council Chambers

510 City-County Bldg 414 Grant St. Pittsburgh, PA 15219 412-255-2142 - office

February 26, 2013

Council Chambers

510 City-County Bldg Pittsburgh, PA 15219

March 26, 2013

Banksville Park

Crane Ave and Carnahan Rd Pittsburgh, PA 15220 412-255-2370 Z6

April 23, 2013

Council Chambers

510 City-County Bldg Pittsburgh, PA 15219

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412-877-0730

THE BOARD OF PUBLIC EDUCATION OF THE SCHOOL DISTRICT OF PITTSBURGH

May 28, 2013

June 25, 2013

July 23, 2013 August 2013

Northside Senior Center

Freedom Unlimited, Inc. Director: Alma Speed Fox

Council Chambers Combined with September

5 Allegheny Center Pittsburgh, PA 15212 412-323-7239

Z1

2201 Wylie Ave Pittsburgh, PA 15219 412-434-0922 - office 412-471-1313 - fax

Z2

510 City-County Bldg Pittsburgh, PA 15219 Combined with September

September 24, 2013

Council Chambers

510 City-County Bldg Pittsburgh, PA 15219

October 22, 2013

Homewood-Brushton YMCA

7140 Bennett St. Pittsburgh, PA 15208 412-243-2900

November 2013

Combined with December

December 3, 201

Council Chambers

CPRB PITTSBURGH

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.19/12.26.2012

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Combined with December 510 City-County Bldg Pittsburgh, PA 15219

Adopted: October 23, 2012 (The public will be notified of any change of date or location through media publication) For Further Information: 412-765-8023 or Confidential TipLine: 412-255-CPRB

STUDIES CLINICAL STUDIES

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EARLY DEADLINE! THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMING and our DEADLINE has been moved up!

DEADLINE Thursday, December 20th @ 5pm for the December 26th Issue Thursday, December 27th @ 5pm for the January 2nd Issue

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Addiction & Recovery Health Services

WELLNESS

SUBOXONE TREATMENT Caring Help for Opiate Addiction • Experienced, caring therapy and medical staff.

• Private, professional setting.

• Downtown office near public transportation and parking.

• Medication by prescription coverage or self-pay.

Immediate Openings for Self-Paying Clients!

412.246.8965, ext. 9

COUNSELING

MIND & BODY

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Sneakers not meant to be in the box. New Balance Pittsburgh.

Oakland & Waterfront. www.lifestyleshoe.com

SELF-ESTEEM WORKSHOPS 412-400-7159 selfesteemworkshops.com ;;;;;;;;;;;;

MIND & BODY

DEEP TISSUE MASSAGE • $40 per 60 min massage • 2hr free valet parking at the Concourse with the purchase of a 60 or 90 min massage

Wellness Center

Includes Med Management & Therapy LOCATIONS IN: Oakland, PA Downtown Pgh, PA Bridgeville, PA West View, PA Butler, PA

Family Owned and Operated Treating: Alcohol, Opiates, Heroin and More

125 W. Station Square Dr. Station Sq. Freight Shops minkunmassage.com

Chinese So Relax Massage

• SUBOXONE

• Group and Individualized Therapy • NOW Treating Pregnant Women

NO WAIT LIST Accepts all major insurances and medical assistance

IMMEDIATE OPENINGS

Free Table Shower w/60min Open 10-10 Daily

1310 E. Carson St. 412-488-3951

China Massage

Xie LiHong’s

724-519-7896

1788 Golden Mile Hwy Monroeville, PA 15146 Call for more information

MIND & BODY Find your next place to “LIVE” in City Paper!

THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE FOR MEN

Sports, Swedish, Shiatsu. $50/Hour Northside Location Near Heinz Field Call Rick: 412-512-6716 www.pittsburghbodyworks.com

massage Therapy

BAD BACK OR NECK PAIN?

Trigger point Deep tissue Swedish Reflexology BLOOMFIELD 412.683.2328

WELLNESS CENTER

Chinese Tuina Massage Walk-Ins Welcome 412-561-1104 3225 W. Liberty Ave. • Dormont

GRAND OPENING

CHINESE MASSAGE

Aming’s Massage Therapy

412-308-5540 412-548-3710

TWO LOCATIONS 1190 Washington Pike, Bridgeville

3348 Babcock Blvd.

Pittsburgh

412-319-7530

(across from Eat n’ Park)

4972 Library Road, Bethel Park (in Hillcrest Shopping Center)

Professional Massage Therapists

a new once a month injection for alcohol and opiate dependency

STAR Superior Chinese Massage

$50/HR Free Table Shower

South Side

• VIVITROL -

Find your next place to “WORK” in City Paper!

Find your next place to “WORK” in City Paper!

PH. 412.389.8637

We treat: ~ Opiate Addiction ~ Heroin Addiction ~ And Other Drug Addiction

Premiere Outpatient Drug and Alcohol Treatment

$10 Off Massage Before Noon!

Water table and hot oil massages, body scrubs, and 10 different types of massages!

Best Chinese Massage Open 7 days a week 9:30am til 2am 2508 E. Carson St. 412-677-6080 412-918-1281

412-595-8077 Zhangs Wellness Center

412-401-4110 $40/hr DOWNTOWN 322 Fourth Ave. (1st Floor)

Phoenix Spa New Young Professional Free Table Shower w/60 min.

Open 10-10 Daily 4309 Butler Street (Lawrenceville)

Walk in or Call

SUBOXONE

JADE

Mingkun Massage

Advertise your GOODS in City Paper and reach over 300,000 readers per month. Now that’s SERVICE!

MIND & BODY

412-621-3300

Therapeutic Massage Therapy Relief is just a call away.

Our licensed professional staff can assist with Fibromyalgia, Circulation, Low Back Pain, Muscle Spasms.

Shadyside Location

412-441-1185

412.434.6700

www.ThereToHelp.org We Accept: - UPMC for You - Gateway - United Health - And Many Others 60

WE have been there WE know your pain Don’t Wait Any Longer!

MONROEVILLE, PA

412-380-0100 www.myjadewellness.com

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.19/12.26.2012

Suboxone Services Pittsburgh- 412-281-1521 Beaver- 724-448-9116

Xin Sui Bodyworks

TIGER SPA

Grand Opening

GRAND OPENING!!!

Best of the Best in Town!

Follow us on

420 W. Market St., Warren, OH 44481 76 West, 11 North, 82 West to Market St. 6 lights and make a left.

1/4 mile on the left hand side.

$49.99/ hour Free Vichy Shower with 1HR or more body work (Body shower and Body Scrub) Essential Oil used at no extra charge

Open 9am-12 midnight 7 days a week!

Licensed Professionals Dry Sauna, Table Shower, Deep Tissue, Swedish

2539 Monroeville Blvd Ste 200 Monroeville, Pa 15146 Next to Twin Fountain Plaza 412-335-6111

330-373-0303 Credit Cards Accepted

GRAND OPENING!

Judy’s Oriental Massage Appointments & Walk-ins are both welcome 10am to 10pm

FULL BODY MASSAGE $40/hr Now with Vichy Shower

@PGHCityPaper

4125 William Penn Hwy, Murrysville, PA 15668 Across the street from Howard Hanna’s

724-519-2950

412.316.3342

Accepting All Major Cards

Get Your YOGA On!

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FOOD CHAIN

Forging community connections at an Ohio Valley food pantry {BY ABBY MENDELSON} IT’S UNSEASONABLY warm this late fall Sunday afternoon,

but that doesn’t stop them from lining up early, choking the sidewalk in front of the Coraopolis storefront at Fifth and Mill.

They are young and old, black and white and brown, speaking a Rosetta Stone of languages. Their clothes are worn and tattered. Some are carrying babies.

They stand patiently outside a former drug store transformed by need into a community office, makeshift chapel and all-purpose room. Today that space is being used to register the needy for their weekly visit to the food pantry around the corner. But instead of having to deal with some officious bureaucrat, when they enter, they chat over coffee and cake with community volunteers.

“We’re careful to guard the dignity of our clients,” says Sam Jampetro, the Anglican priest who oversees the operation. “You can’t tell who the clients are and who are the volunteers.” He smiles, and his startling blue eyes sparkle. “That’s just how we want it.”

The shelves are stocked with donations from many sources: the Greater Pittsburgh Food Bank; food drives arranged by schools ’n’ Scouts ’n’ selfless souls; area churches; the Salvation Army; Turner Dairy; and others. Charis church members and community volunteers assist clients in choosing healthy, wellbalanced meals. “We try to get the most nutritious options,” Willard says.

Sure, you can find the standard pasta and boxed potatoes, canned pickles and peas, soups and salad dressings. But there’re also fresh tomatoes and green peppers, beans and radishes. “We do try to highlight fresh stuff,” Jampetro says.

And with the store stocked with healthy staple items, people in need can find meals that are increasingly hard to come by anywhere else.

“Most people put feeding their families above paying utility bills,” Willard says. But not paying the latter often leads to service cuts — often not an option as the weather turns colder.

There’s always a need for food, Jampetro adds, but especially

“YOU CAN’T TELL WHO THE CLIENTS ARE AND WHO ARE THE VOLUNTEERS. THAT’S JUST HOW WE WANT IT.” Jampetro chucked a career in communications to enroll in divinity school and work in his down-at-the-heels hometown.

He began his Charis 247 ministry five years ago; the Coraopolis Community Development Foundation and food pantry followed.

A year ago, his organization helped fill food sacks for 20 poor families. The client list has since swollen five-fold, serving folks from the neighborhood as well as nearby Neville Island and Moon Township.

“We don’t just give them a bag of groceries,” coordinator Kelly Willard says. “We don’t decide what they get. They do.”

Once the paperwork is handled, clients are directed around the corner to a one-room, makeshift grocery store. And while you may be imagining folks silently snatching bags of food and skulking out, there’s an air of gaiety here. These people are glad to be there, glad to have regular folks helping them with their groceries.

“This is what we’re going for,” Jampetro says: “Neighbors being together and helping each other.”

Some come under their own steam. Others need help. An older man wobbles in, juggling a cane and a cloth shopping bag. “I’m hanging in there,” he says proudly.

in the cold months, when utility bills take a bigger bite, along with the cost of clothes, doctor visits and home repairs.

“A little help can be a big deal,” he says.

A hefty woman with long, straggling hair maneuvers her walker through the two narrow aisles. Going for long-lasting, stick-to-your-ribs proteins, she reaches for ground beef and turkey, cheese and eggs.

“I want a pretty girl to help me today,” a slender man says, grinning at a strawberry-blonde volunteer. Sporting blue jeans, work shirt and unkempt hair, he carries a red Salvation Army bag. Pickles? “They look good,” he says with a nod, then points at the San Giorgio elbow macaroni.

“All right, everybody,” he waves, then bows to his volunteer.

“Thanks, Red. See you later.”

“Right now, we’re just meeting people’s individual needs,” Jampetro says, as he watches the man depart. Sure, there was a Thanksgiving dinner, and there’ll be some Christmas toys and gift cards coming, but they’re no more than stop-gaps.

“Down the road we hope to create a flourishing community,” Jampetro adds. “But right now there’s no end to it. A lot of people are just struggling.”

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