December 5, 2012

NEARLY ONE-THIRD OF SOUTHWEST PA RESIDENTS LIVING WITH HIV LACK ADEQUATE CARE 06

“WE WILL NOT COME TO PILLAGE YOUR CITIES ALONE.”

WWW.PGHCITYPAPER.COM | 12.05/12.12.2012

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.05/12.12.2012

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Jeff Mangum with special guests Tall Firs & Briars of North America Photo by Corey Greenwell

1.10 – 8pm Carnegie Music Hall (Oakland)

The Warhol is thrilled to welcome Jeff Mangum of Neutral Milk Hotel, to the Carnegie Music Hall in Oakland. As central figure of the highly influential band Neutral Milk Hotel (NMH), Mangum has had a profound impact over the past two decades on indie folk/rock music, largely due to his most recognized NMH record, In The Aeroplane Over The Sea. Tickets $30/$25 Members; visit www.warhol.org or call 412.237.8300.

EVENTS 12.9 – 11am STEELERS TAILGATE PARTY Rosa Villa Lot (General Robinson Street across the street from The Warhol) Co-presented with The Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh

12.14 – 8pm FIT TO PRINT: FOX MOVIETONE NEWSREELS (1928-1942) with Curator Greg Wilsbacher Tickets $10

12.31 SPECIAL HOLIDAY HOURS The Warhol will be open on Monday, December 31 from 10am to 5pm

Bonnie “Prince” Billy, with special guest, Title TK 1.26 – 8pm

1.11 – 7pm OUT OF THE BOX: TIME CAPSULE OPENING WITH TIME CAPSULES CATALOGUERS Free with Museum admission/Members Free

Carnegie Music Hall (Oakland)

Co-presented with Carnegie Museum of Art, in conjunction with the exhibition Cory Arcangel: Masters The Warhol welcomes back the iconic and highly influential songwriter and performer Bonnie “Prince” Billy (a.k.a. Will Oldham), through a collaboration with the Carnegie Museum of Art, in conjunction with the exhibition, Cory Arcangel: Masters. Don’t miss this unique evening with the Drag City Records stalwart who, over the past quarter-century, has made an idiosyncratic journey through, and an indelible mark on, the worlds of indie rock and independent cinema.

1.25 – 8pm OFF THE WALL 2013: TAMMIE FAY STARLITE: CHELSEA MADCHEN Tickets $25/$20 Members & students

2.1 – 8pm JOHN WATERS: THIS FILTHY WORLD Carnegie Music Hall (Oakland) Tickets $25/$20 Members & students

Tickets $18/$15 Members; visit www.warhol.org or call 412.237.8300.

117 Sandusky St., Pittsburgh, PA 15212 The Andy Warhol Museum receives state arts funding support through a grant from the Pennsylvania Council on the Arts, a state agency funded by the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania; the National Endowment for the Arts, a federal agency and The Heinz Endowments. Further support is provided by the Allegheny Regional Asset District.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.05/12.12.2012

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“The provider community is not routinely testing people for HIV.” — Stuart Fisk, clinical manager at the Positive Health Clinic, on why some HIV-positive individuals go untreated

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on his historical guide Brewing in Greater Pittsburgh

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STEEL CITY MEDIA

[ARTS]

gourds are boulder-sized, so heavy 38 “The on the vine that they warped into blobs out of Dali.” — Bill O’Driscoll on photos at the Center for PostNatural History

[LAST WORD] managed to get a 63 “Ravenstahl photograph of himself seated with Sebak (unless, of course, the mayor was just using the Yinztagram app like everyone else).” — Chris Potter on Rick Sebak’s iron-clad grip on Pittsburgh’s psyche

{REGULAR & SPECIAL FEATURES} NEWS OF THE WEIRD BY CHUCK SHEPHERD 18 EVENTS LISTINGS 44 SAVAGE LOVE BY DAN SAVAGE 53 CROSSWORD PUZZLE BY BEN TAUSIG 54 FREE WILL ASTROLOGY BY ROB BREZSNY 56 N E W S

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GENERAL POLICIES: Contents copyrighted 2012

by Steel City Media. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission of the publisher. The opinions expressed in Pittsburgh City Paper are those of the author and not necessarily of Steel City Media. LETTER POLICY: Letters, faxes or e-mails must be signed and include town and daytime phone number for confirmation.

We may edit for length and clarity. DISTRIBUTION: Pittsburgh City Paper is published weekly by Steel City Media and is available free of charge at select distribution locations. One copy per reader; copies of past issues may be purchased for $3.00 each, payable in advance to Pittsburgh City Paper. FIRST CLASS MAIL SUBSCRIPTIONS: Available for $175 per year, $95 per half year. No refunds.

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INCOMING

“HIV IS LITTLE BITS OF PROTEIN … THAT CAN KILL YOU. BUT THE STIGMA IS IN HOW YOU GET IT.”

PSO Composer of the Year Mason Bates melds electronic music with the symphony (Nov. 28) “Bates interests me. I found some of his music on the Internet and it was definitely original and refreshing.

I’ll probably be the only one attending Friday’s concert for the Bates rather than the Tchaikovsky.”

— Web comment from “Victor Grauer” “This is awesome, I love the advent of futuristic music with classical sounds and instruments, Lindsey Stirling is phenomenal as well.”

— Mary Hannah Hart

Election Day results the latest win for same-sex marriage (Nov. 28) “I’d love to know who they are polling in Pennsylvania to come up with only 45% approval [for same-sex marriage], I know I wasn’t involved! Living in Pittsburgh, it seems to me there are more supporters than not.”

— Web comment from “Melissa Resendes” {PHOTO BY OHAD CADJI}

Marchers rallied Dec. 1 to observe World AIDS Day. Researchers are still battling the disease and the stigma that comes along with it.

“Charlie Batch couldn’t do enough to beat the Browns but somehow beat the Ravens. #CmonMan” — Dec. 3 tweet from Baltimore-based reporter “Kris Jones” (@RavenManiac) after the Steelers beat the Ravens 23-20

“A star is born. Look Ma I’m on the TV. Immortalized forever

by Rick Sebak, so you know it’s LEGIT” — Nov. 29 tweet from “joefatheads” (@jillumz)

UNDER CARE C

HARLES CHRISTEN knows not many

cities have what Pittsburgh does in the way of resources for those living with HIV and AIDS. So it concerns him to think about the number of those who aren’t receiving adequate care.

Based on statistics from the state Department of Health, 31 percent of those living in Southwestern Pennsylvania with AIDS and HIV with a history of receiving HIV-related services have an unmet need for primary medical care — such as viral-load testing or antiretroviral treatment.

And since most of that population resides locally — there are approximately 3,000 people living with HIV or AIDS in Allegheny County — it could mean nearly 1,000 individuals aren’t receiving

adequate care.

“The major issue we face is [making sure] that everyone who is HIV-positive knows they are positive and is connected to care … because medications and care

More than 31 percent of people living with HIV/AIDS are not getting adequate treatment {BY LAUREN DALEY} work well to reduce the virus in a person’s body” to undetectable amounts, says Christen, executive director at the Pittsburgh AIDS Task Force.

In addition, more than 20 percent of

those living with HIV in Pennsylvania are unaware of their status, according to the state Department of Health. And Christen says there is no definite way to know how many people are infected who don’t know it and are receiving absolutely no care.

“The problem is that there are more people who aren’t in care than in care,” he says. “And it’s the people who aren’t in care that are really driving new infections.”

There could be a variety of scenarios in which someone isn’t in care — Christen notes it could mean they are sporadically taking antiretrovirals, which reduces the viral load of HIV in the blood, or only accessing care when they feel sick.

CONTINUES ON PG. 08

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.05/12.12.2012

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.05/12.12.2012

Positive Health Clinic.

Others with HIV don’t display immediate symptoms, he says.

But the stigma around the disease remains one of the greatest barriers for patients, and for health-care providers who don’t routinely test for it as they would for other conditions like diabetes and cancer.

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It’s not that there isn’t adequate care here. Pittsburgh is home to two major clinics — Positive Health Clinic at Allegheny General Hospital, and the Pittsburgh AIDS Treatment Clinic — that receive funding through the federal Ryan White program, which helps them treat low-income, uninsured or underinsured patients.

“This is the gold standard of care for free,” says Christen. “Not many cities have that.”

That’s in addition to other programs and resources, like the Pittsburgh AIDS Task Force, Shepherd Wellness Center, Pitt Men’s Study, and the needle-exchange program Prevention Point Pittsburgh.

Pennsylvania also has a drug-assistance program that offers drug therapies at a low cost or for free.

Advocates are working to reach everyone they can. The Allegheny County Health Department has a van to do testing. PATF, meanwhile, is looking to hire a part-time case manager to re-engage those who have dropped out of treatment.

Reasons that those at-risk and with the disease may not take advantage of readily available care vary widely. Some get diagnosed and go to their primarycare provider “and the PCP says, ‘I don’t know anything about HIV, I can’t take good care of you,’ and they can’t give a good referral,” says Stuart Fisk, nurse practitioner and clinical manager at the

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“The provider community is not routinely testing people for HIV,” Fisk says.

“So when people are tested, they are being diagnosed in late stages.”

Those who are at greater risk for infection have more than one sex partner, inject drugs or are men who have sex with other men, according to the Centers for Disease Control.

“People are really afraid of coming forward to get HIV [testing], because it means they have to come to grips with many things about how they got infected and what they’re going to do,” says Dr. Linda Frank, executive director of the Pennsylvania/MidAtlantic AIDS Education and Training Center.

“THIS IS THE GOLD STANDARD OF CARE FOR FREE,” SAYS CHRISTEN. “NOT MANY CITIES HAVE THAT.”

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.05/12.12.2012

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“People sometimes tend to hide their heads in the sand.”

“HIV is little bits of protein that stick together that can kill you,” adds Fisk.

“But the stigma is in how you get it.”

That often leads to those at risk not getting tested at all, or not getting into care if they test positive. Some patients fear being seen in busy hospitals where clinics are located. Others drop out of care if they lose insurance, not knowing that clinics can still treat them. Also, advocates say, the health-care system hasn’t been the most adept at handling the illness.

“Our system does a poor job with injection-drug users, with young poor street kids … and people who are sex workers,” says Dr. Anthony Silvestre, director of the Pennsylvania Prevention Project and professor in Pitt’s Graduate School of Public Health Department of Infectious Diseases and Microbiology.

“Those are the people who make up a large number of cases.”

And those marginalized populations, he says, have an even harder time navigating a complex health-care system, let alone knowing where to start when diagnosed.

“Middle-class men who have sex with men have resources and the wherewithal to navigate complex systems,” Silvestre says. “But when you have a 15or an 18-year-old on the street making money through sex work, getting them three square meals a day is enough of a problem.”

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ON THE RECORD

WHAT IS IT ABOUT YOUR NEW RESEARCH MODEL THAT GIVES YOU HOPE THAT THE WORK YOU’RE DOING NOW WILL BRING CHANGE? Because I’m doing work in partnership with community members and stakeholders, and they are going to hold me accountable. I’m not going to be able to do some research and then just have it published somewhere and walk away.

A conversation with Jessica Griffin Burke, of University of Pittsburgh School of Public Health {BY CHARLIE DEITCH}

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ON DEC. 3, medical researchers from across the region gathered at the University of Pittsburgh for a conference entitled “Health Across the Lifespan: Allegheny County 2012.” The goal of the conference, according to literature, was to discuss the state of the health of Allegheny County residents.

Of particular note was a breakout session to discuss high infant-death rates within the African-American community in the county. The numbers were jarring.

In Allegheny County in 2009, there were 16 deaths per 1,000 live births among African Americans, while the rate among whites was 5.5 deaths per 1,000 births.

The Allegheny County numbers for African Americans are considerably higher than both the state (14.4 deaths per 1,000) and national rates (11.6 deaths per 1,000 births).

But the most startling fact at this conference wasn’t that the numbers are high, it’s that they’ve been that way for a very long time.

“Maybe I’ve lived in Pittsburgh too long,” a middle-aged African-American woman in attendance told the panel. “But I feel like I received this same information back in 1987. Nothing has changed.”

Researchers agree that while there has been a lot of research on the subject, there haven’t been a lot of solutions. That’s something that Dr. Jessica Griffin Burke hopes to change.

Burke, a researcher and professor at the University of Pittsburgh School of Public Health, isn’t relying on traditional research methods to address the problems.

She’s taking her research to the neighborhood level to figure out why rates are so high and how the community can identify the problem and work toward fixing it.

Burke took time following her presentation to discuss the problem and her approach with City Paper.

BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT JUST DEALING WITH DATA, YOU’RE ACTUALLY ON THE GROUND WITH PEOPLE WHOSE LIVES ARE AFFECTED BY THESE HIGH MORTALITY RATES AND ARE SUFFERING DIRECTLY FROM THESE DISPARITIES, RIGHT? Yes, and they’re going to ask me what happened, what did we find. They are invested in this, and they want to see a change and they are excited. And I’m optimistic about this because of that excitement.

Jessica Griffin Burke

time. These rates have not really changed over the past several years, and you heard some of that frustration about the need to address them.

WHAT CAN YOU AS A RESEARCHER DO DIFFERENTLY NOW TO DEAL WITH THIS ISSUE THAT MAYBE HASN’T BEEN DONE IN THE PAST 20 YEARS OR SO? For my colleagues and I, our research paradigm has shifted. Twenty years ago the researcher saw the issue, designed the study, implemented the study and reported some results. Today there is much more community and stakeholder engagement in the process. I advocate for a partnered approach because involving people with “lived experience” and a range of expertise is what will allow us to solve these problems.

“AT THE END OF THE DAY I’M DRIVEN TO MAKE A CHANGE.”

THERE’S A LOT OF TALK ABOUT THE INFANT-MORTALITY RATES IN ALLEGHENY COUNTY, BUT IT’S NOT A NEW PROBLEM, IS IT? The rates are staying about the same but these disparities have been persistent over

IS THERE SOMETHING SPECIFICALLY ABOUT ALLEGHENY COUNTY THAT IS CAUSING THIS DISPARITY TO BE SO HIGH, OR IS THIS A PROBLEM THAT OCCURS EVERYWHERE? It happens across the U.S. The disparities here are worse than [in] any other developed country.

What makes Allegheny County different is that it’s a smaller area than other urban areas. So the dynamic is different, and I think we can do some things here because of our size that you can’t do in larger cities.

IN YOUR EARLY RESEARCH, YOU ASKED THE COMMUNITY WHAT THEY SAW AS CONTRIBUTING FACTORS AND THEY IDENTIFIED THINGS LIKE ACCESS TO AND THE COST OF HEALTHY FOOD. ARE YOU BEGINNING TO SEE ANY PATTERNS FORMING OR IS IT ALL JUST PART OF THE PUZZLE? Describing it as a puzzle is perfect … because right now we just don’t know what the answer is. But what some of that suggests is that those are areas for future research. A lot of what drives this formative research is talking to the people affected. If they’re mentioning things that we aren’t aware of or haven’t explored, then let’s go explore them and see if we can quantify them. But we can’t continue to research this problem forever. At the end of the day, I’m driven to make a change.

ONCE YOU IDENTIFY THE FACTORS AFFECTING THESE INFANT-MORTALITY RATES, WHAT HAS TO HAPPEN TO MAKE SURE THAT SOLUTIONS ARE IMPLEMENTED? WHO HAS TO STEP UP THEN? If you have advocates at the table, and consumers and community leaders, you share the findings with them and you begin to grow the support for change there. It then moves from the community onto the policymakers and the healthcare providers. The interesting thing about Allegheny County is you have UPMC and others here. The scope and the reach of UPMC and the other health-care providers are immense, and the hope of building upon that relationship to solve this problem has great promise.

C D E I T C H @ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.05/12.12.2012

We Put The “T” in Toys For Tots.

On Friday, December 14th, don’t just get caught in the morning rush. Catch the holiday spirit.

Bring a toy down to the Steel Plaza T station and help lift a child’s spirits for the holidays.

Friday morning, December 14th from 5:30 till 9 am, Toys for Tots will be collecting new, unwrapped children’s gifts. Port Authority is proud to join with media sponsors Q92.9 FM and the United States Marine Corps in asking you to help fill a child’s heart with joy and happiness this holiday season.

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GETTING SCHOOLED

Obamacare meets the anti-tax agenda, and local teachers may pay the price {BY CHRIS POTTER} EVER SINCE Barack Obama’s health-care

reforms were upheld by the Supreme Court, we’ve heard dire warnings about the chaos that will result. The guy who owns Papa John’s pizza, for one, sounded the alarm that providing health insurance to his workers could raise the price of a pizza … by 14 cents. To which the proper response is: “Here’s a quarter.

Treat your workers like human beings, and use whatever’s left to buy something pretty for Mrs. John, you cheapskate.”

More recently, though, the reforms have created a challenge for workers at a more sympathetic employer: the Community College of Allegheny County.

CCAC’s workforce includes 400 parttime, temporary faculty and clerical employees who work at least 30 hours a week — the threshold at which “Obamacare” requires employers to provide health benefits. CCAC estimates those benefits would cost $6 million, money it doesn’t have. So the school is cutting workers’ schedules to less than 30 hours per week, ensuring the law won’t apply.

“These temporary positions have been filled by individuals who make a valuable contribution,” acknowledged CCAC statement. But “this is unfortunately the only action we can take.”

The move prompted some conservative cackling in the “hope they voted for Obama LOL” vein. Pittsburgh Post-Gazette columnist Ruth Ann Dailey, for one, opined that the episode proved that “left-wing theorists have no understanding of how free markets work.”

Actually, some left-wingers understand all too well. That’s why many of us supported a more radical health-care overhaul: a Medicare-for-all-style program totally independent of employers. Tying insurance to a person’s job, we argued, means workers suffer from the boss’ ill will … or in this case, bad fortune.

CCAC’s finances are constrained largely by state funding cuts — cuts exacerbated

by Gov. Tom Corbett’s decision to levy one of the nation’s lightest taxes on naturalgas drilling, while leaving products like smokeless tobacco untouched. By one liberal group’s estimate, a gas tax like the one levied in West Virginia could have produced $387 million between 2009 and 2011 — nearly twice what Pennsylvania took in.

As it was, while Chevron and Skoal got sweetheart deals, CCAC suffered $3.5 mil-

lion in state cuts — enough to pay more than half of its $6 million insurance bill. It could cover the rest if Allegheny County kept CCAC’s funding at the 2012 level, instead of cutting it by $2.5 million, as county officials plan. (In fairness to the county, next year’s funding is still slated to be slightly above 2011’s.)

“Our preference is certainly to extend health insurance to those employees,” says CCAC spokesman David Hoovler. “If we were to receive that $6 million, we’d be glad to do so.”

Corbett’s “no new tax” pledge arguably hurts CCAC even more than, say, Penn State or Pitt. Many community-college students enroll during recessions to gain new job skills: They can’t bear tuition hikes as easily as college undergrads, who have their entire careers to pay off student loans.

This isn’t all Corbett’s fault, since other schools, including those not dependent on the state for funding, may follow CCAC’s example: Youngstown State University has already announced similar plans. “I suspect that the floodgates are going to open,” says Matt Williams of the Ohio-based New Faculty Majority, which advocates for part-time faculty.

But while Williams is an active (if idiosyncratic) Republican, and no fan of Obamacare, he says he won’t blame Obama if faculty hours are cut. Too many schools already act like … well, like corporations.

Although salaries for college administrators have grown, Williams says, “You’ve got people at the front of the classroom saying education makes a difference, and meanwhile they’re on food stamps.”

At least they aren’t alone. As some corporations dodge the taxes that support CCAC, others ask taxpayers to cover their own health-care costs. In 2006, for example, the Philadelphia Inquirer found that state Medicaid rolls included nearly 8,000 employees of Walmart alone. This is the “free market” conservatives accuse Obama of tinkering with: It’s a market where companies cling to their profits, while transferring their costs to everyone else. Where CEOs bemoan a few extra pennies for a pizza, in order to avoid sharing the pie.

That may be Obamacare’s undoing. Not giving health benefits to workers, but giving corporate America the benefit of the doubt.

WHILE CHEVRON AND SKOAL GOT SWEETHEART DEALS, CCAC SUFFERED $3.5 MILLION IN STATE CUTS.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.05/12.12.2012

Come for the Show, Stay for the Shopping!

Our downtown is merry and bright; filled with unique holiday gifts … Appalachia arts, local antiques, estate jewelry, trendy designer boutiques and handmade leather goods.

Disney’s Aladdin Dec. 8, 9, 14, 15, 16, 22 | Met Theatre

Second Sunday Antiques Saturday, Dec. 9 | Mylan Park

Solo Pianist Jim Brickman Tuesday, Dec. 11 | WVU CAC

Moscow Ballet‘s “Great Russian Nutcracker” Thursday, Dec. 13 | WVU CAC

FOLLOW US ON

facebook.com/MOREgantown

tourmorgantown.com 800.458.7373 N E W S

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The More I Work, The Less I Make Per Hour.

Is That Legal?

The standard way of calculating overtime pay is well known – you take your regular hourly rate and multiply it by 1½.

So, an hourly rate of $10 becomes an overtime rate of $15, regardless of whether you work 1 hour of overtime or 30 hours of overtime. However, many employers use the “fluctuating work week method” to pay employees. This is also known as the “variable workweek” or “half-time method.” The practical effect of this law is that you end up making less per hour the more you work.

Under the “fluctuating workweek” method, the non-exempt employee is paid a fixed salary, regardless of how many hours he or she works in a week. The time worked can vary above or below 40 hours per week, but the salary itself does not change. The concept is that by being paid a fixed amount for all hours worked, the employee is considered to have been paid straight time for all hours worked over 40.

Therefore, the only additional overtime compensation the employee is owed is ½ (rather than 1½) the regular rate of pay for hours worked over 40 during a workweek. The fluctuating workweek method benefits the employer by allowing it to lower the regular rate, and thereby pay less overtime compensation, with every additional hour actually worked in any given week.

CARLSON LYNCH Advocates for Consumer & Workplace Fairness

The fluctuating work week method may sound unfair, but it is legal under federal law. However, a Pennsylvania federal court recently held that fluctuating workweek method of calculating overtime compensation violates the Pennsylvania Minimum Wage Act. Attorneys at Carlson Lynch are currently investigating claims against Pennsylvania employers who use the fluctuating workweek method. If you work in Pennsylvania and are compensated under the fluctuating work week method, you may be entitled to unpaid overtime compensation. We would welcome the opportunity to review your claim and to answer any questions you may have - at no cost or obligation to you.

Protect your rights and take action. If you believe your employer is using the fluctuating workweek method to calculate your pay, we want to hear from you. A Carlson Lynch attorney will conduct a free confidential case analysis. If you have questions and would like to speak with someone, please contact us directly at 800-467-5241. All information you submit will be kept confidential. Employers can’t retaliate against you for speaking with a lawyer or for trying to protect your legal rights.

www.CarlsonLynch.com Call Toll Free: (800) 457-5241 (412) 322-WAGE (9243)

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.05/12.12.2012

Bridgeville

Oakdale

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NEWS OF THE WEIRD {BY CHUCK SHEPHERD}

If an asteroid is ever on a collision course with Earth, it is feasible that the planet could be saved by firing paintballs at it, according to an MIT graduate student whose detailed plan won this year’s prize in a United Nations space council competition, announced in October. White paint powder, landing strategically on the asteroid, would initially bump it a bit, but in addition would facilitate the sun’s photons bouncing off the solid white surface.

Over a period of years, the bounce energy would divert the body even farther off course.

The already identified asteroid Apophis, which measures 1,500 feet in diameter and is projected to approach Earth in 2029, would require five tons of paintball ammo.

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Samuel Cutrufelli, 31, filed a lawsuit in October in Sacramento County, Calif., claiming that Jay Leone, 90, “negligently” shot him. Cutrufelli had burglarized Leone’s home in Greenbrae, unaware that Leone was home.

When Leone reached for one of his stashed handguns, Cutrufelli shot him in the jaw and then pulled the trigger point-blank at Leone’s head, but was out of bullets. Leone then shot Cutrufelli several times, which Cutrufelli apparently felt was entirely unnecessary.

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In October, a federal appeals court overturned the bribery conviction of a City of Chicago zoning inspector — on the grounds that the bribes he was convicted of taking were too small to be covered by federal law.

Dominick Owens, 46, was convicted of taking two bribes of $600 each to issue certificates of occupancy, but the law applies only to bribes of $5,000 or more. (Also in October, Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel disbanded the city’s ethics board after a 25-year run in which it never found an alderman in violation — even though, during that time, 20 aldermen were convicted of felonies.)

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Karma: (1) Tyller Myers, 19, was killed in a collision near N orwalk, Ohio, in September when he ran a stop sign and was rammed by a tractor-trailer. Afterward, police found three stolen stop signs in Myers’ truck.

(2) A 21-year-old man was killed crossing a highway at 5 a.m. in Athens, Ga., in September.

Police said he had just dined-and-dashed out of a Waffle House restaurant and into the path of a pickup truck.

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Devoted Catholic David Jimenez, 45, had been praying regularly to a large crucifix outside the Church of St. Patrick in Newburgh, N .Y., having become convinced that it was responsible for eradicating his wife’s ovarian cancer. He even got permission from the church to spruce up the structure, as befit its power.

Then, during a cleaning in May 2010, the 600pound crucifix came loose and fell on Jimenez’s leg, which had to be amputated. From a holy object of worship to precipitator of a lawsuit: Jimenez’s $3 million litigation against the archdiocese goes to trial in January.

$5 OFF Discount code: cp12-05-2012

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N ot Mine! (1) James White, 30, was arrested in Grove City, Fla., after being stopped by police patrolling a high-burglary neighborhood, and in a consensual search of

his pants, officers found a packet of Oxycodone pills for which White did not have a prescription. However, according to the police report, White suddenly exclaimed, “Oh, wait! These aren’t my pants!”

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The IRS’s longtime policy is to pay taxrefund claims promptly and only later to refer the refund files for possible audits and collection, in the event of overpayments or fraud. This policy, though, means that ordinary taxpayers are treated better than the nation’s wounded warriors who file disability claims with the Department of Veterans Affairs. The VA’s assumption seems to be that wounded veterans are cheating — and thus most veterans receive at least five evaluations, and each one reviewed over a several-year period, before full benefits can be awarded. (Even though some temporary financial relief is available before final determination, veterans complain that the amount is almost never enough for complicated rehabilitation programs and other support.)

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An articulate, functional “cave man” of El Paso, Texas, continues to roam his neighborhood, often naked, resisting efforts to bring him back onto the grid, according to October coverage by El Paso’s KVIATV. His mountainside subterranean structure, described as “intricate,” might be on land owned by the local water utility, which, pending an investigation, could evict him. Some neighbors say they fear the man, who has allegedly swum in their pools and even swiped items from their laundry rooms, but nonetheless, he swears that he is harmless. “I’m a plasma donor … drug free” and “sin-free … baptized and saved.” Other neighbors have supported him, he said, and the complainers need to “help the community more.”

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Cunning Plans: (1) William Keltner, 52, was arrested in Abilene, Texas, in N ovember, after he underestimated the security at a Walmart self-checkout line. He had taken the barcode off of a $1.17 item, placed it on a $228 TV set, and checked himself out, assuming no one would notice. (2) Kerri Heffernan, 31, was charged in October in Massachusetts with robbing banks in Brockton and Whitman. Heffernan perhaps acquired a feeling of doom when, in the midst of one robbery, a teller-friend appeared and asked, “Do you want to make a deposit, Kerri?”

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Election Follies: (1) Robert McDonald tied Olivia Ballou for the final seat on the city council of Walton, Ky., with 669 votes, but only later found out that his wife (exhausted from a hospital’s night shift) had not made it to the polls. (The following week, as per voting rules, McDonald and Ballou held a coin flip. Ballou won but relinquished the seat to McDonald for an unrelated reason.) (2) Holly Solomon, 28, was arrested in Gilbert, Ariz., a few days after the election when, police said, she chased her husband with her Jeep and rammed him during a drunken rant blaming him for President Obama’s victory (though Arizona’s electoral votes went solidly for Mitt Romney). Daniel Solomon was hospitalized in critical condition.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.05/12.12.2012

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SOUPS AND STEWS THIS TIME OF YEAR CAN BE ZESTY AS WELL AS HEARTY

BEER HERE, ONCE {BY ANDY MULKERIN} Robert Musson didn’t grow up in Pittsburgh — he hails from Akron, Ohio — but as a teen-ager in the 1970s, he took an interest in the city. Not because of its dominant sports teams, mind you … but because of its beer.

“In the ’70s, collecting beer cans was a big thing,” he explains. “A lot of guys my age did it. My parents and I would go down to Pittsburgh on day trips, buying cans, visiting Pittsburgh Brewing or the Jones Brewery in Smithton.”

Now 49 and a vascular surgeon, Musson doesn’t collect cans as much, but he hasn’t soured on the history.

He’s the author of numerous selfpublished books on brewing history, and has just unveiled Brewing in Greater Pittsburgh, a book in Arcadia Publishing’s “Images of America” series. The book comprises a collection of historical photos pertaining to local brewing, along with explanatory captions authored by Musson.

The book spans from colonial times — “There was at least a small brewing operation at Fort Pitt,” Musson explains — to today. (Full Pint Brewing, the recently revived Duquesne brand and East End Brewing make appearances.)

While he might quaff a tall one at his book signing at Penn Brewery on Sat., Dec. 8, Musson notes that on the whole, he’s more historian than drinker.

“I’ll have a beer or two a week at most,” he says. “If I drank more, the book might have taken longer.”

AMULKERIN@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

BOOK SIGNING. 1 p.m. Sat., Dec. 8.

Penn Brewery, 800 Vinial St., North Side.

421-237-9402

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FEED

This year, fill somebody’s y’s holiday stocking with h future vegetables, by way of Grow Pittsburgh’s

Vegetable Garden Primer course. It’s the perfect gift

for that certain somebody who’s been itching to join the ranks of backyard farmers, but doesn’t know how to begin.

The three-night courses run in January, February and March. For more information, call 412-362-4769 or email info@growpittsburgh.org.

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{BY ANGELIQUE BAMBERG + JASON ROTH}

A

BOUT THREE years ago, E2 (that’s

“squared”) opened as a catering.centric outpost of Enrico’s in the Strip. Under the direction of chef Kate Romane, the tiny dining room with its tinier front patio became the best brunch spot in the East End. More recently, dinner was added to the equation, giving us an enticing excuse to return. a Where E2’s brunch is refined American cuisine, with influences from Italy and New Orleans, the dinner menu is straight Italian, making the relationship with Enrico’s a little more explicit.

But Romane is too creative a cook to lean on red-sauce clichés or heavy Northern dishes. Instead, she refracts traditional, Old World recipes through the prism of the contemporary American kitchen. Her approach is fresh, local and seasonal; by turns, it’s as elemental as a starter of nothing but cannellini beans with redpepper flakes and perhaps some olive oil, or as elaborate as seared scallops with butternut-squash mash, fried leeks and Portobello, and truffled pumpkin seeds.

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.05/12.12.2012

{PHOTOS BY HEATHER MULL}

Beet carpaccio

Whether for brunch or dinner, E2’s space is still cozily lamp-lit, sociably clamorous when full (as it nearly always is) and intimately decorated; we loved seeing lots of small pictures and artwork in place of a handful of larger pieces.

In this context, it would be easy to hunker down and try to order everything in sight. A more moderate approach is

E2

5904 Bryant St., Highland Park.

412-441-1200 HOURS: Dinner Tue.-Fri. 5-10 p.m.; Sat. 6-10 p.m.; brunch Sat.-Sun. 9 a.m.-2 p.m.

PRICES: Appetizers $8-12; entrees $13-25 LIQUOR: BYOB

CP APPROVED to begin with the tongue-in-cheekily named OMG selections, a dozen tiny plate options from the big chalkboard, including a few meats, cheeses and vegetables. Pay particular attention to the “mess,” another in-house term that, in the case of gorgonzola, meant a sort of

creamy, tangy mash with a shot of hot sauce, creating an effect suggestive, but not quite reminiscent, of buffalo wings.

Spread on grilled focaccia, it was utterly addictive. The OMG list also gave us perfectly thin slices of bra duro (a young, Italian farmhouse cheese), the aforementioned beans in their almost fluffy tenderness and thin wafers of black radish, lightly fried such that they retained radishy sharpness but took on a tendercrisp texture.

We were unable to resist the aforementioned seared scallops, and found the several shades of sweet and earthy flavors in this dish to combine as harmoniously and autumnally as we’d imagined. The only quibble was that the leeks, as is their tendency, had sautéed down to papery insubstantiality.

The entrée list was heavy on the pasta, and the portions were ample, especially for anyone who nibbled on the starters. A special of campanelle with arugula-walnut pesto seemed to be seasoned with several different herbs,

resulting in a spicier, heartier combination as well suited to fall as basil pesto is to late summer. Pumpkin-mascarpone ravioli with prosciutto in a sage-cream sauce was a milder, creamier distillation of fall flavors, its lush richness cut by the salty meat and herbal sage.

Another pasta dish was a bit of a throwback to warmer weather: linguine pescatore in a sort of piccata style, with tender little scallops and barely grilled shrimp, mixed with lemon, capers, butter and wine. In this, the bite one would expect from the briny capers and tart lemon was muted; in retrospect, a wedge of lemon could have made all the difference.

On the RoCKs

E2’s Kate Romane

A dining companion sampled one distinctive, non-noodle-based dish: farro en brodo. This consisted of whole, barleylike farro grains in a dark broth with wild mushroom, chicken and sausage, finished with some of the arugula pesto. It was a warming reminder that the soups and stews of this time of year can be zesty as well as hearty.

In ordering desserts, we released ourselves from all moderation to try all three: a deep, dark, dense chocolate torte with bright berry “mess”; a satisfying pumpkin cake swirled with cream cheese; and a salted-caramel apple crostado whose texture, reminiscent more of shortbread than of traditional pastry, was extraordinary.

Dinner at E2 is as special as its brunch.

Whether composed of two ingredients or a dozen, each dish was a creation to reflect both the season and the unique updating of traditional Mediterranean cooking by a skilled chef.

INFO@ PGHC ITY PAP ER.CO M

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MARKET BUBBLE Champagne bar Perlé welcomes novice and expert alike

“Everyone thinks that champagne is just for celebratory reasons — unless you’re of the upper echelon,” says Peter M. Landis, managing partner of Perlé, a champagne-and-tapas lounge in Downtown’s Market Square.

Indeed, a quick glance at Perlé’s extensive menu of bubbly may well seem intimidating to the novice. Perlé boasts up to 15 champagne selections, including exclusive vintages like Veuve Clicquot Yellow Label.

“A lot of people come in and are very hesitant about ordering champagne,” bar manager Jennifer Welsh acknowledges.

“They feel like they don’t know a lot about it,” she says.

But Perlé is doing everything it can to make drinking champagne a more inclusive experience.

One of the biggest challenges in serving champagne, Landis notes, is that “once you open [a bottle], you can’t put the pressure back in,” and you quickly lose the effervescence that champagne is known for. That’s why many bars have just one or two champagnes — usually cheaper brands — available by the glass.

Landis is working with Greensburg fabricator Tony Garrow to build a proprietary system of hermetically prop sealed seal champagne taps, which would keep a bottle fresh for wo several seve days. He’s been using the system intermittently to work out syst the kinks (the flavor goes off if the wine win sits for a few days). “It’s still a prototype,” Landis says, and p while it’s out of commission now, w “we’ll get it working.” “ In the meantime, Welsh created a line of champagne cocktails to complement the established classics on the menu.

Her take on the Bellini is especially successful: She replaces peach purée with Lambic Peche beer. The result is a cocktail with greater depth of flavor than the classic, while still retaining a perfume peach nose.

And what if you are part of the economic 1 percent, the type of patron who feels utterly at home hoisting a dipped-in-gold, $475 bottle of Armand De Brignac? Perlé’s palatial balcony overlooking Market Square is as good as any place in Pittsburgh to do so.

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

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THE FOLLOWING DINING LISTINGS ARE RESTAURANTS RECOMMENDED BY CITY PAPER FOOD CRITICS

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314 PASTA & PRIME. 314 Allegheny River Blvd., Oakmont.

412-828-7777. The offerings here are mostly assimilated Italian-American, from chicken Parmesan to spaghetti with meatballs, but the dishes are hardly dumbed down and the prices reflect that. Top-notch version of classics (fettucini Alfredo, beans and greens), prime steaks and family-style salads round out the menu. LE ASPINWALL GRILLE. 211 Commercial Ave., Aspinwall.

412-782-6542. With a bar on one side and black-and-white vinyl booths on the other, the Grille serves as Aspinwall’s unofficial clubhouse. The expected bar and diner classics are all here, but the kitchen expands upon them with unusual presentations and ingredients. KE BARCELONA AT RIVERS EDGE. 4616 Allegheny River Blvd., Verona. 412-793-1777. A fantastic location and Mediterranean flavors make this venue high atop the Allegheny River a worthy stop. The menu is unambiguously Spanish (with a little bit of Portuguese and Italian thrown in), with traditional dishes, like paella, and Spanish-accented local classics, like lobster crab cakes with blood-orange buerre blanc and pico de gallo. LE

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DINING LISTINGS KEY

J = Cheap K = Night Out L = Splurge E = Alcohol Served F = BYOB

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.05/12.12.2012

300 LIBERTY AVE. DOWNTOWN stonepizzeria.com

314 Pasta and Prime {PHOTO BY HEATHER MULL} COCA CAFÉ. 3811 Butler St., Lawrenceville. 412-6213171. This breakfast-andlunch place is somehow hip but not pretentious. Variety predominates: The omelets alone include smoked salmon, wild mushroom, roasted vegetable, sun-dried tomato pesto and four-cheese. (Coca also caters to vegans, with options like scrambled tofu in place of eggs.) All this in an atmosphere as agreeable as your own kitchen. JF HOKKAIDO SEAFOOD BUFFET. 4536 Browns Hill Road, Squirrel Hill. 412-421-1422. This buffetstyle restaurant rises above the scourge of the steam table to offer some true gems among its panoply of East Asian offerings.

There’s standard ChineseAmerican fare, but also sushi, hibachi-style Japanese cooked to order, popular offerings such as crab legs and roast Peking duck, and even frog legs. KF

Mexican or Asian influences — are appealingly straightforward, neither plain nor fussy: Pork loin with bourbon glaze; spicy flatbread loaded with shrimp, roasted red and poblano peppers, pineapple and cheese; and skirt steak drizzled in a creamy chipotle sauce. LE NAKAMA JAPANESE. 1611 E. Carson St., South Side. 412381-6000. Pittsburghers are crazy about this sushi bar/ steakhouse, and every weekend pretty people crowd inside to watch the knife-wielding chefs. Presentation is key for customers and restaurant alike: The interior is smart, the chefs entertaining, and the food is good, if pricey. LE

PLUM PAN-ASIAN KITCHEN. 5996 Penn Circle South, East Liberty. 412-363-7586. The swanky space incorporates a dining room, sushi bar and cocktail nook. The pan-Asian menu JOSEPH TAMBELLINI consists mostly of RESTAURANT. 5701 well-known — Bryant St., Highland and elegantly . www per Park. 412-665-9000. presented — dishes a p ty pghci m The menu at this such as lo mein, .co convivial white-linen seafood hot pot, Italian restaurant straddles Thai curries and basil the ultra-familiar — stir-fries. Entrées are the five choices in the chicken reasonably priced, so splurge and veal section are trattoria on a signature cocktail or staples — and the more unusual. house-made dessert. KE There’s a strong emphasis on fresh pasta and inventively THE QUIET STORM prepared seafood, such as COFFEEHOUSE AND crusted Chilean sea bass in an RESTAURANT. 5430 Penn orange buerre blanc and Ave., Friendship. 412-661-9355. berry marmalade. LE Bike punks, young families and knowledge-workers can JUNIPER GRILL. 4000 all use a cup of joe, lunch or Washington Road, McMurray. some homemade pastry.

724-260-7999. This sister The Quiet Storm’s laid-back, restaurant to Atria’s chain familiar vibe welcomes all to cultivates an ambience of chill. Breakfast, lunch, dinner artfully casual insouciance. The and Sunday brunches cater to preparations — many with vegetarians and vegans. JF

FULL LIST ONLINE

Hokkaido {PHOTO BY HEATHER MULL} BIGELOW GRILLE: REGIONAL COOKING AND BAR. Doubletree Hotel, One Bigelow Square, Downtown. 412-281-5013.

This upscale restaurant offers fine foods with Steeltown flair, like “Pittsburgh rare” seared tuna (an innovation borrowed from steelworkers cooking meat on a blast furnace). The menu is loaded with similar ingenious combinations and preparations. KE

SALT OF THE EARTH. 5523 Penn Ave., Garfield. 412-4417258. Salt embodies a singular vision for not just eating, but fully experiencing food. The ever-changing but compact menu reflects chef Kevin Sousa’s hybrid style, combining cuttingedge techniques with traditional ingredients to create unique flavor and texture combinations.

Salt erases distinctions — between fine and casual dining, between familiar and exotic ingredients, between your party and adjacent diners. LE

offMenu {BY AMYJO BROWN}

FOOD INSECURITIES Running out ut of food is a monthly problem for or residents in Hill, Homewood ewood

SIX PENN. 146 Sixth Ave., Downtown. 412-566-7366. Open late for the Downtown theater crowd, this cheery restaurant satisfies theater buffs, families and young professionals alike.

The seasonal menu offers lively updates on comfort food from lobster mac-n-cheese to braised short ribs. Gourmet burgers and pizzas make for quick meals.

Linger for homemade desserts, or stop by after the show. KE

Make plans for your

ROSE MARY SEALS EALS recounts the story of a 90-year-old

neighbor who o would run out of cash for food as it got close to the end of the month.

“She would buy cat food, and she would eat cat food until she got her check,” says the 79-year-old Hill District resident.

Others she knows just won’t eat. “When you run out of money, there is nothing you can do,” Seals says.

The worry over food running out is one that residents in the Hill District and Homewood experience more than those in other communities. The Rand Corporation is in the middle of a five-year research project focused on the two Pittsburgh neighborhoods. According to the first release of data gathered by Rand, 40 to 50 percent of the residents there experience food insecurity, compared to 13 percent of households across Pennsylvania.

“This was something that was a little bit troubling,” says Tamara Dubowitz, a Rand senior policy researcher.

Rand’s study of the two neighborhoods is significant: About one in every five households — more than 1,400 — is enrolled in the study, one of the largest of its kind in the U.S. “The purpose is to get a comprehensive understanding of food-access issues and the role of the neighborhood,” Dubowitz says.

Those interviewed in the project’s first phase were primarily women. About 30 percent were 65 years of age or older, and two-thirds reported living on a household income of less than $20,000 each year.

The study so far confirms what residents already know: Local options for fresh food are scarce. In the Hill, only three of 14 stores selling food offered fruit; only one had a vegetable option. In Homewood, none of the 12 stores offered fruits or vegetables.

The study also noted that residents travel an average of 3.8 miles to shop for groceries, a journey Seals says she is looking forward to shortening when the Shop ’n Save now under construction in the Hill District opens.

Dubowitz says researchers are only just digging into the questions raised, including, for example, whether changes in public-assistance policies could help alleviate food-insecurity worries.

“Our team is working really hard to see how the pieces fit together to better inform policies and solutions to create better food systems,” she says.

SMILING BANANA LEAF. 5901 Bryant St., Highland Park. 412362-3200. At this absolute jewelbox of a restaurant, the menu emphasizes authentic Thai dishes rather than Thai-inflected Chinese food. Grilled meat appetizers are beautifully seasoned, and the pad Thai offers a lively balance of ingredients. The assertively spicy pumpkin curry features a special variety of Thai gourd. JF TAVERN 245. 245 Fourth Ave., Downtown. 412-281-4345. Step into this Downtown fancy-casual pub, with smart looks and tasty, updated bar fare. “The Farm” entree featured sliders made with chicken, pulled BBQ pork and steak fillet, on a potato roll with red pepper and goat cheese.

The fried calamari come with a basil-garlic aioli, and the robust Yuengling beer-cheese sauce was the perfect complement to “Pittsburgh potatoes.” JE WAI WAI. 4717 Liberty Ave., Bloomfield. 412-621-0133.

Eschewing the epic list of dishes most Chinese-American restaurants proffer, this attractively decorated storefront venue sticks to a modest number of basics with a few less-typical dishes, such as Singapore mai fun (a dish of stir-fried rice noodles) or sha cha (a meat-and-vegetable dish from China’s Gansu province) JF YAMA. 538 Third St., Beaver.

724-774-5998. This Japanese restaurant offers familiar favorites such as tempura, sushi and teriyaki, but takes an artistic approach to authentic cuisine. Thus fried gyoza dumplings are garnished with a small tumbleweed of finely grated carrot, and an octopus salad is graced with cucumber matchsticks. KF

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LOCAL

“I’M STILL TRYING TO BE THE NO. 1 DJ IN PITTSBURGH.”

BEAT

{BY ANDY MULKERIN}

RATHER RIPPED RETURNS Unless you’re of a certain age and from a certain part of the country, the phrase “Rather Ripped” likely means one thing to you: the 2004 Sonic Youth album of that name. But if you were in Berkeley, Calif., in the ’70s and ’80s, you might realize that before it was a record, Rather Ripped was a record store — one that owner Russ Ketter has decided to re-open in Lawrenceville.

Ketter, a South Side native, went to California in the ’60s; as a young man here, he’d played music with locals like Jules Hopson of The Marcels and Joe Negri. (“I thought I was a musician,” he deadpans.) He sought gigs in Los Angeles but quickly moved north to Berkeley, where he worked at a studentowned record store called Leopold’s. In 1971, Ketter started Rather Ripped in a small storefront.

Through the decade and into the ’80s, Rather Ripped became a Berkeley fixture: Ketter hosted shows for artists like Patti Smith, and had an annual birthday party for the store with acts like Roky Erickson and The Residents, even after he’d gone all mail-order. During its heyday, the store was known as a haven for punk and art-rock records, and employed the likes of Greg Kihn before he made it big.

The Sonic Youth album came as a bit of a surprise for Ketter; one of his Berkeley pals, Ray Farrell, was working with Geffen Records at the time, and told Ketter that they’d brought up “Rather Ripped” as a possible album title. It was a play on the fact that by the mid-’00s, people were ripping their music from CDs to their computers — and on the old Berkeley store that everyone knew.

Ketter and his wife returned to Pittsburgh in 2006 to care for his mother; he began selling records at the Trader Jack’s flea market in Bridgeville, and surveying the record-store scene here. Last weekend, he moved records and CDs into 4314 Butler St. in Lawrenceville, the new location of Rather Ripped. Despite a healthy number of record stores already here, Ketter is confident the city can support more.

“You’re never going to find the same records in two different stores. With CD stores you will, but not records.”

DURING ITS HEYDAY, THE STORE WAS KNOWN AS A HAVEN FOR PUNK AND ART-ROCK RECORDS.

AMULKERIN@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

RATHER RIPPED RECORDS. 4314 Butler St., Lawrenceville. Mon.-Thu., 11 a.m.-7 p.m.

412-353-3445 or www.ratherripped.com

24

MADE IN

PENNSYLVANIA {PHOTO COURTESY OF FRANK PALADINO}

{BY RORY D. WEBB}

B

RANDON GLOVA’S career is a study

in perseverance. When the Philadelphia native first came to the University of Pittsburgh in 1998, he applied to host a radio show at WPTS, the university’s radio station, only to be told he wasn’t qualified, and that he should try out again next year.

Today, Glova, known as DJ Bonics, is one of the city’s best-known DJ exports, recognizable as Wiz Khalifa’s tour DJ, with his signature line, “My name is DJ Bonics, and I came to rock the party.” But the journey wasn’t quick — or easy.

At WPTS, Glova became a host (known then as DJ B-Bonics), and then hip-hop director, managing the new hip-hop music coming into the station from record labels and independent artists. In just a few months he advanced to assistant program director, and later station manager. He be-

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.05/12.12.2012

Here to rock the party: DJ Bonics

gan performing gigs as a party and club DJ; the club scene introduced him to DJing for a live audience.

“You got to see how motherfuckers reacted, which is addicting,” he says.

THE 2050 TOUR: WIZ KHALIFA, TAYLOR GANG

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Consol Energy Center, 1001 Fifth Ave., Uptown. $35. All ages. 412-642-1800

GLOVA REMAINED dedicated to his own development in the radio business. He interned at WAMO — then the city’s major urban FM station — after his sophomore year at Pitt. At the end of his senior year, he landed a local urban-marketing job with Clear Channel, the largest radio sta-

tion group owner in the country.

The relationships he began building with store and venue owners paid off.

Bonics was the opening DJ for headlining acts such as Jay-Z and Lupe Fiasco when they toured through the city.

Eventually, a radio-hosting demo disc he had put together landed on the desk of the new program director at Clear Channel-owned KISS-FM, a Pittsburgh Top-40 radio station. It wasn’t long before Bonics became a mix-show host on the station.

“I was playing mix shows on the radio ... live from the club ... with vinyl ... for four hours straight and no repeating,” Bonics says with a laugh. “I can’t even believe I used to do that.”

Bonics was quickly establishing himself as one of Pittsburgh’s premier radio personalities.

CONTINUES ON PG. 26

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It’s all about the person.

Q: HOW DID GET INTO BARTENDING? A: I was always interested in bartending when I was away at school. I thought it looked so slick, and was a job you could enjoy while also making a living.

I got into it after school and have been doing it now for eight years.

Q: WHAT’S YOUR LEAST FAVORITE DRINK TO MAKE? A: Any kind of martini that doesn’t amount to anything. You know, a dessert drink that you have to make a million of.

Q: WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF CUSTOMER? A: I see them across the street and can have their drink ready for them before they walk in the door.

Q: WHERE CAN YOU BE FOUND WHEN YOU AREN’T WORKING? A: I’m probably at the rink playing hockey, or if it’s winter I love being on the slopes.

Q: WHAT’S THE WORST KIND OF CUSTOMER? A: I don’t really like it when people try to get my attention by tapping me when I’m serving another customer.

No hands, please.

Q: WHAT’S THE BEST PART ABOUT WORKING AT MARIO’S? A: The people I work with. Everyone here really knows their stuff and we all look out for each other.

Q: WHAT’S THE CRAZIEST DRINKING FEAT YOU’VE EVER SEEN? A: We have people come in here on St. Patrick’s Day that open and close the place, drinking heavily the entire time. The amazing part is that they can walk away.

Q: WHAT’S THE BEST WAY TO GET A BARTENDER’S ATTENTION? A: I do my best to try to get to everybody in the order that they approach the bar. If it’s busy, just make eye contact and have some patience.

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MADE IN PENNSYLVANIA, CONTINUED FROM PG. 24

{PHOTO COURTESY OF FRANK PALADINO}

“I went on tour with Wiz, and the rest is history”: DJ Bonics

“I was just a little kid from Philly who was shy,” he says. “The kid who was told to take the marbles out of his mouth in eighth grade is now one of the No. 1 jocks on the air.”

Bonics was determined to use his success as a platform for other local artists. At Pitt, he had booked a teen-age Wiz Khalifa to perform at Bigelow Bash, an annual WPTS-sponsored concert. At KISS, Bonics began working Khalifa’s music into his mix-show playlists.

“It was an honor,” Khalifa says, looking

back on the first time Bonics played one of his songs on the radio. “Bonics is a local celebrity, so it was a huge deal.”

It was a daring decision, as Clear Channel radio stations are programmed to play from a list of major-label songs that generally don’t include local and independently signed artists.

“I didn’t necessarily agree with what was going on at the radio station at the time,” explains Bonics. “There was a long period when I wanted to host a local show. I was playing Wiz Khalifa on the

THE CALL-UP

DJ Bonics recalls the decision to go on the road with Wiz {BY DJ BONICS, AS TOLD TO RORY D. WEBB} “[Khalifa’s managers] Will [Dzombak] and Benjy [Grinberg] approached me and said they wanted a new DJ for Wiz. They had a three-month tour booked in fall and there was a single coming out called ‘Black and Yellow,’ but no one had ever heard it.

“Some people in radio work their whole life to get to a music-director or afternoonhosting position, ’cause that’s what they want. I was already doing that and had a salary and benefits, and that’s something that’s hard to give up for something that’s not guaranteed. Wiz Khalifa was not guaranteed at the moment. So when they asked me ... the decision wasn’t hard; accepting it was.

“Knowing that everything I had built in Pittsburgh, especially radio, I was going to give up. ... At the time, WAMO wasn’t even around. So when you think about it, how many pop-station jocks in Pittsburgh were there? There’s four — the morning show, mid-day, the afternoons and there’s nights. There are only four slots and it’s not like those positions open up a lot. I worked hard as fuck to get there, and to give that up was tough.

I remember crying in the studio of KISS, knowing that I had to do this and accept this. Some people who worked there didn’t even understand it — like, ‘Wiz Khalifa? What? Really?’

To me, I’m like, ‘Yo, I need to do this.’ And so I made the decision and quit KISS, which was really tough.

“I lived on Mount Washington and had this crib that overlooked the city, and I had to get rid of that. I put everything I owned into storage. I was like, ‘Yo, I have to prepare myself for this whole experience. I’m gonna be gone for three months. I can’t sign a lease somewhere. What’s the money gonna be like?’ I spent the summer adapting. Basically, I’m not getting that paycheck every two weeks. So I had to hustle and continue DJing and making X amount of money to just figure it out. Then I went on tour with Wiz, and the rest is history.”

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

26

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.05/12.12.2012

mix shows, and I wasn’t supposed to. The first time Mac Miller ever got played on the radio was by me, and I really wasn’t supposed to.

“Sometimes you know when the world is calling you. There were a lot of things going on at the time, things that I didn’t understand. It got to a point where I was frustrated with work.”

Then he got the call to become Khalifa’s official tour DJ. (See sidebar, “The Call-Up.”)

ON THE RECORD

with Osunlade {BY KATE MAGOC}

The City’s Hottest Live Music Scene!

IN 2010, the Waken Baken Tour with

Khalifa and Bonics made stops in 56 cities and was sold out across the board; Khalifa’s buzz was growing bigger. But just weeks after the tour ended, while still celebrating his return to Pittsburgh, Bonics had a health scare.

A visit to the emergency room confirmed that one of the DJ’s arteries was blocked and he would have to undergo surgery. The surgery was successful, and served as a precaution about the fast life he was living. Four days after getting out of the hospital, Bonics joined Khalifa on BET’s 106 and Park. It was their first national-TV performance.

“Nothing was gonna stop me. I actually had some backlash from people who were like, ‘Dude, you’re trying to get healthy and you’re gonna perform, that’s fucked up.’ And I’m just like, ‘No, it’s not fucked up to me. Wouldn’t all of you love to use a heart attack as an excuse not to come back to work?’ For me it was like, ‘This is what I do, this is what I love, this is what my heart is made of. And I’m not gonna let that stop me.’”

Now 32, Bonics is continuing to tour with Khalifa and his Taylor Gang crew.

Bonics can also be heard on the radio in Pittsburgh on KISS-FM every Friday night and in Philly on WIRED 96.5 FM every Saturday night.

“Wherever I am, I bring a microphone with me,” he says. “I make a mix, three hours of mixing music. And then I get on the mic and I record myself talking to whatever audience it’s airing at. If I’m in Dubai and people are driving around in Pittsburgh on a Friday night, they can still hear me on the radio.”

No matter where he’s at, he embraces Pennsylvania’s two largest cities as his foundation. And he’s as passionate as ever about maintaining a presence in Pittsburgh.

“I can’t let go — Pittsburgh’s so fucking special to me. I’m still trying to be the No. 1 DJ in Pittsburgh, even if someone thinks that I already am.

“A little more than 10 years later,” he adds, “I’m still learning things on the turntables.”

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Osunlade is known for making deep house music — and for more than a decade, he’s been working to integrate the naturalistic lifestyle of the Yoruba culture (known as Ifá) into his work. It’s rare that the club can get this spiritual and still be a party.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO TRANSITION INTO THE IFÁ LIFESTYLE? It was kind of something that evolved over some years. I was [already] aware of the Yoruba culture. I just got a little bit more interested in it over time. Then around ’99, I stopped doing major-label productions.

When I started my label, I wanted to focus on something that would go deeper into the culture of Yoruba and spread the folklore of music and educate people.

HOW DO YOU MAINTAIN THE BALANCE IN YOUR LIFE WHEN YOU’RE TOURING A LOT? I think you just have to find a balance between the worlds. Especially now [that] the club scene has changed so much, where the music is a lot more electronic, a lot more technical. It’s more fad music, more drug music, you know, that kind of thing.

DO YOU FEEL AS IF MUSIC, AND DANCE MUSIC IN PARTICULAR, CAN CHANGE PEOPLE’S MINDS ON SOCIETAL ISSUES? Oh, definitely. I think one of the most important things I’ve been afforded are personal instances where people have come to me and said, “You’ve changed my view about my life.” When you connect with people, and people are open to just experience the music and look beyond the aesthetic of the club, and they can feel, music does heal.

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

OSUNLADE with KEITH EVAN, EDGAR UM. 9 p.m. Sat., Dec. 8. 6119, 6119 Penn Ave., East Liberty. $10-15. www.via-pgh.com +

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CD REVIEWS

FORTIFIED PHONETX THE PLASTIC EATERS (SELF-RELEASED)

Pittsburgh hip-hop trio Fortified PhonetX’s album The Plastic Eaters is a release sure to satisfy the ears of hip-hop purists.

Booming drums, heavy bass rhythms, sample loops, record-cutting scratches and aggressively proud-to-be-underground rhymes define this debut from the FPX crew. MCs Connect and Moemaw Naedon, along with DJ Blacklisted, contributed to the production.

BY RORY WEBB

ANDRÉ COSTELLO SUMMER’S BEST EP

(WILD KINDNESS RECORDS)

A follow-up to Costello’s full-length from early this year; three pretty tracks with a cinematic flavor to them. Costello’s warm, throaty vocals are comforting but not soporific, and his lyrics and ideas combine youthful curiosity with weathered wisdom. Good stuff.

BY ANDY MULKERIN

ANDRÉ COSTELLO performs COOL WATER: LIVE MUSIC AND MULTIMEDIA PERFORMANCE. 7 p.m. Thu., Dec. 13, at 720 Records, 4405 Butler St., Lawrenceville (412-904-4592). Also 7 p.m. Sat., Dec. 15, at Cannon Coffee, 802 Brookline Blvd., Brookline (412-563-0202).

TEDDY PANTELAS TRIO W/MICHAEL GRAPPO TOGETHER AGAIN (TATSOU RECORDS)

Solos and solid support characterize criss-crossing electric-guitar playing by Youngstown Ohio’s Pantelas and Grappo.

Pantelas’ distinctive liquid intonations flow and flourish, often fused with a sense of the blues. Grappo’s sound suggests the polished lines and inventive chords of Johnstown’s Joe Pass. Excellent solos by Pittsburgh bassist Jeff Grubbs add to this friendly, rarely wailing session featuring three standards, plus pieces

by John Coltrane, Steve Swallow, Pat Metheny and Pantelas himself. This quartet has it all together.

BY GORDON SPENCER

28

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.05/12.12.2012

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.05/12.12.2012

Last year, we profiled Steve Bodner of The Damaged Pies on the occasion of that band’s 25th anniversary. Tonight at Club Café, the band plays a show celebrating the release of a new documentary, Same Circus/Different Town, chronicling the anniversary show and the band in general. The movie screens (in an abridged form) at 6:30 p.m., then there will be live sets from Heidi Jacobs and the band of the hour, The Damaged Pies. Andy Mulkerin 6 p.m. 56 S. 12th St., South Side. $8.

412-431-4950 or www.clubcafelive.com

[WORLD] + FRI., DEC. 07

If one were to make a list of Pittsburgh’s most notable extracurricular music educators in the past decade, Pandemic founder Pete Spynda (a.k.a.

Steve Bodner Pandemic Pete) would of The likely make the list.

Damaged Tonight, the DJ event Pies he founded with DJ Juddy (who left this year for jolly old England) and Caulen Kress celebrates seven years of bringing music from the Balkans, South America, India and other corners of the globe. You’ll hear stuff here that you likely won’t get anywhere else; tonight at Brillobox, for the anniversary, New York City DJ Joro Boro returns as a guest. AM 10 p.m. 4104 Penn Ave., Bloomfield. $7. 412621-4900 or www.brillobox.net

[BENEFIT] + SAT., DEC. 08

By now you’ve likely heard about Dave Whaley, the musician and employee of Dave’s Music Mine who was assaulted on the South Side in a road-rage incident last month. Whaley doesn’t have health insurance, and is facing some serious costs from the surgery the beating necessitated. Tonight at Club Café is one of

a few shows raising funds to help him out; it’s a sliding-scale donation-based show featuring Mark Dignam, Mother’s Little Helpers, Broken Fences and several more. AM 10 p.m. 56 S. 12th St., South Side. Donation. 412-431-4950 or www.clubcafelive.com

[HARDCORE] + SUN., DEC. 09

Fans of Every Time I Die can always expect the unexpected. Over the past 13 years, the Buffalo natives have broken out of the ’90s hardcore scene and continued to evolve, shifting from their signature “party vibe” to a darker, angrier sound with the highly praised Ex Lives, released last March.

Lately the band has been wrapping up its headlining fall U.S. tour and rounding out a line-up that has all the makings of a mustsee live show. Catch the group tonight at Mr. Small’s with The Chariot, letlive. and Kills And Thrills.

Amanda Wishner 7:30 p.m. 400 Lincoln Ave., Millvale. $15.

412-821-4447 or www.mrsmalls.com {PHOTO BY HEATHER MULL}

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dec 06

DEC 15

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Every Time I Die

[HIP HOP] + WED., DEC. 12

Mod Sun describes his music as an “audible smile.” The “hippy-hop” artist got into music at an early age, touring the world since he was 17 as the drummer for post-hardcore bands Scary Kids Scaring Kids and Four Letter Lie. Since pursuing his own career as an MC, Mod has released more than 100 songs, most of them for free, and he was even named one of the top 16 unsigned artists of 2011 by Rolling Stone. He plays the Shadow Lounge tonight; The Come Up and Pat Brown open. AW 7 p.m. 5972 Baum Blvd., East Liberty. $10-12. 412-363-8277 or www.shadowlounge.net

TO SUBMIT A LISTING: HTTP://HAPPENINGS.PGHCITYPAPER.COM

412.316.3388 (FAX) + 412.316.3342 X194 (PHONE)

{ALL LISTINGS MUST BE SUBMITTED BY 9 A.M. FRIDAY PRIOR TO PUBLICATION}

Home, My Ticket Home, Buried CLUB CAFE. Damaged Pies, In Verona The Filthy Lowdown, Heidi Jacobs (early) Charlie Hustle Fubar. South Side. 412-431-4668. & The Grifters (Late). South Side.

THUNDERBIRD CAFE. Sister 412-431-4950.

ALTAR BAR. Saliva. Strip District.

Sparrow & The Dirty Birds.

THE FALLOUT SHELTER. The 412-263-2877.

Lawrenceville. 412-682-0177.

Cheats, The Scratch n’ Sniffs, CIOPPINO SEAFOOD Crisis in America, Up for Nothing.

CHOPHOUSE BAR. Terrance Aliquippa. 724-375-5080.

Vaughn Trio. Strip District.

31ST STREET PUB. Karma GOOSKI’S. The Ceiling 412-281-6593. to Burn, Rebreather, Stares, Spooky Sound CLUB CAFE. The Stone Foxes, Sistered, Robot Wants of Zeros. Polish Hill.

Kondor. South Side. 412-431-4950.

Cheese. Strip District.

412-681-1658.

FRIENDS MEETING HOUSE. 412-391-8334.

HOWLERS COYOTE . w Jane Siberry, Ellen Gozion. w w ALTAR BAR. Every CAFE. Dressed Frets, aper p ty ci h Oakland. 412-683-2669. g p Avenue. Strip District.

Sock Market, Dan .com HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. 412-263-2877.

Getkin & Masters The Weedrags, Henry Bachorski, BALTIMORE HOUSE. of American Music.

The Coattail Riders. Bloomfield.

The Elliotts. Pleasant Hills.

Bloomfield. 412-682-0320.

412-682-0320.

412-466-3047.

JOEY D’S. The GRID. Harmarville.

THE IRONWORKS. Blue Redshift.

BROTHERS GRIMM. The GRID. 412-828-0999.

Oakland. 412-969-3832.

LINDEN GROVE. Occasional Reign. Coraopolis. 412-788-0890.

LAVA LOUNGE. One Gig At A CARNEGIE LIBRARY OF Castle Shannon. 412-882-8687.

Time, Heavy Leather, Sugapablo.

HOMESTEAD MUSIC HALL. MR. SMALLS THEATER. South Side. 412-431-5282.

Eric Hutchinson. Munhall.

Rubblebucket, Reptar, Railbird.

STAGE AE. The Smashing 412-368-5225.

Millvale. 866-468-3401.

Pumpkins. North Side.

CLUB CAFE. Lindsay Lou & The OBEY HOUSE. Silent Partner.

Flatbellys, Jenny Morgan (Early) Crafton. 412-922-3883.

Stainless: 80s Metal Madness, OLD TRAFFORD SPORTS 31ST STREET PUB. The Blood, Mothers Little Helpers, Mark CLUB. Brian DeHass Trio. Trafford.

Submachine, The Traditionals.

Dignam, Nathan Zoob, Pete Bush, 412-373-3036.

Strip District. 412-391-8334.

Casey Deely, Broken Fences (Late).

SHADOW LOUNGE. Kids These BAJA BAR AND GRILL. A Benefit for Dave Whaley. South Days. East Liberty. 412-363-8277.

DaPhunk Band. Fox Chapel.

Side. 412-431-4950.

SMILING MOOSE. For All Those 412-963-0640.

DOWNEY’S HOUSE. Blake & Sleeping, The Browning, Close To Dean. Robinson. 412-489-5631.

THE FALLOUT SHELTER. Half Dozen Krackerz, Insides Out. Aliquippa. 724-375-5080.

FRANKIE’S. theCAUSE. Squirrel Hill. 412-422-5027.

GOOSKI’S. Thunder Vest, Bloated Sluts, Mud City Manglers. Polish Hill. 412-681-1658.

HARD ROCK CAFE. Three Legged Fox. Station Square.

412-481-7625.

HARVEY WILNER’S. Max House Rocks. West Mifflin.

412-466-1331.

HEINZ HALL. Olivia Newton-John w/ Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra.

Downtown. 412-392-4900.

HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. Vomitor, Negative Plane, Derketa, Abysme, Falcifer.

Allure of the Birth Pt. II. Bloomfield. 412-682-0320.

JOEY D’S. The Dave Iglar Band.

Harmarville. 412-828-0999.

MARS BREW HOUSE. Ray Lanich.

Mars. 724-625-2555.

MOST-WANTED FINE ART GALLERY. Nevada Mountains, Each week, we bring you a new track from Instead of Sleeping, Worn Colors, Anika Bell. Garfield. 814-553-2928. a local band. This week’s MP3 comes from THE MR. ROBOTO PROJECT. Supervoid, whose two-song EP came out last Gasoline Heart. Bloomfield.

OLD TRAFFORD SPORTS month. Download CLUB. Nuns on Fire. Trafford.

412-373-3036.

— all 10 minutes of it — on FFW>>, our music THE PRAHA. Mustache Serkus. blog at pghcitypaper.com.

Tarentum. 724-224-2112.

ROCK/POP THU 06

SAT 08

FULL LIST ONLINE

FRI 07

MP 3 MONDAY

SUPERVOID

“Arcane Groves”

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ROOSTERS ROADHOUSE. Bill Ali & Matt Barranti. Bridgeville.

412-221-1543.

SMILING MOOSE. Klaymore, Caberet Runaway, Stationary Pebbles Andrew Beerer, The Carpet Squares. South Side.

412-431-4668.

STAGE AE. Falling Andes, Household Stories, Mad Rapture.

North Side. 412-229-5483.

SUB ALPINE CLUB. E-Z Action, Deliverance. Turtle Creek.

412-823-6661.

THUNDERBIRD CAFE. The Randy Baumann Band. Lawrenceville.

412-682-0177.

TJ’S HIDEAWAY. Dancing Queen.

Evans City. 724-789-7858.

ZIGGY’S LOUNGE. Lenny Smith & The Ramblers. Tarentum.

412-837-2688.

SUN 09

CARNEGIE LIBRARY, OAKLAND. City Dwelling Nature Seekers.

Oakland. 412-622-3151.

GARFIELD ARTWORKS. Yakuka Heart Attack, Action Camp, The Awful Waffles. Garfield.

412-361-2262.

HOWLERS COYOTE CAFE. Winter Sounds, These Lions. Bloomfield.

412-682-0320.

SHADOW LOUNGE. Black December w/ Kabarett Vulgare.

Sideshow/burlesque feat. Macabre Noir, Lilith Deville, Phat Man Dee, the Oracle, Penny de la Poison, Cherri Baum, Countess Von Tella,

CLUB CAFE. Spirit Family Reunion, The Unknown String Band. South Side. 412-431-4950.

HARD ROCK CAFE. The Black Lillies. Station Square.

412-481-7625.

THUNDERBIRD CAFE. Space Exchange Series w/ Bobby Sellvaggio. Lawrenceville.

412-682-0177.

BELVEDERE’S. Neon w/ DJ hatesyou. 80s Night. Lawrenceville.

412-687-2555.

CLUB TABOO. DJ Matt & Gangsta Shak. Homewood. 412-969-0260.

DISTRICT 3. DJ Solo Dolo, DJ Bamboo. South Side.

757-660-8894.

INN-TERMISSION LOUNGE. Transmission: Classic Alternative Dance Party. South Side.

412-381-3497.

LEVELZ. Technophile.

Underground techno DJs. South Side. 440-724-6592.

THUNDERBIRD CAFE. The Manhattan Project. Lawrenceville.

412-682-0177.

WED 12

FRI 07

Apex. Benefits Atrocity Exhibition.

East Liberty. 412-363-8277.

SMILING MOOSE. 4th Line Revolutionary, The Clementes, The Undeniables, Antimony. South Side. 412-431-4668.

TUE 11

ALTAR BAR. Sonata Arctica.

Strip District. 412-263-2877.

ARSENAL BOWLING LANES. Still Not Sober. Lawrenceville.

412-683-5993.

MR. SMALLS THEATER. Every Time I Die, The Chariot, Letlive, Kills & Thrills. Millvale. 866-468-3401.

ROCK BOTTOM. Good Brother Earl. Waterfront. 412-462-2739.

SHADOW LOUNGE. Chappo.

East Liberty. 412-363-8277.

SMILING MOOSE. Affiance.

South Side. 412-431-4668.

DJS THU 06

AVA BAR & LOUNGE. Thursdays in AVA. Pete Butta, McFly, Bamboo, & Red. East Liberty. 412-363-8277.

BACKSTAGE BAR AT THEATRE SQUARE. Salsa Fridays.

DJ Jeff Shirey, DJ Carlton, DJ Paul Mitchell. Downtown.

412-456-6666.

BELVEDERE’S. Get Weird w/ Cucitroa & Dizcrepnnc Get Weird! w/ Cucitroa & Dizcrepnnc.

Lawrenceville. 412-687-2555.

BRILLOBOX. Pandemic.

Joro Boro & Pandemic Pete.

7th Anniversary Bash. Bloomfield.

412-621-4900.

CAPRI PIZZA AND BAR. Bombo Claat Fridays. Reggae/dancehall w/ Vybz Machine Intl. Sound System, Fudgie Springer. East Liberty.

412-363-1250.

ONE 10 LOUNGE. DJ Goodnight, DJ Rojo. Downtown. 412-874-4582.

ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance.

South Side. 412-431-2825.

RUGGER’S PUB. 80s Night w/ DJ Connor. South Side.

412-381-1330.

SAT 08 WED, DEC 5 • 9PM ACOUSTIC/IRISH SINGER/SONGWRITER

JESS KLEIN AND MUNDY THU, DEC 6 • 9PM LIVE ELECTRONIC

MANHATTAN PROJECT FRI, DEC 7 • 9PM FUNK/R&B

SISTER SPARROW & THE DIRTY BIRDS SAT, DEC 8 • 9PM ROCK

THE RANDY BAUMANN BAND MON, DEC 10 • 9:30PM ROCK

OPEN STAGE WITH CRAIG KING TUE, DEC 4 • 9PM JAZZ SPACE EXCHANGE SERIES WITH BOBBY SELLVAGIO (ALTO SAX) OPEN FOR LUNCH

Kitchen hours: M-Th: 11am-12am Fri & Sat: 11am-1am Sun: 11am-11pm

4023 BU TLER ST LAWREN CEVILLE 412.682.017

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.05/12.12.2012

BELVEDERE’S. Humanaut Presents “Out of Order”. Lawrenceville.

412-687-2555.

CAPRI PIZZA AND BAR. Saturday Night Meltdown. Top 40, Hip Hop, Club, R&B, Funk & Soul.

East Liberty. 412-362-1250.

DIESEL. DJ CK. South Side.

412-431-8800.

IRISH CENTRE. Femz Wit a Twist.

LGBT after hours. “Come as you are.” 2 a.m.-6 a.m. Squirrel Hill.

412-829-9839.

LAVA LOUNGE. Motown Getdown Soul Night w/ DJ Kool Kurt. South Side. 412-431-5282.

THE NEW AMSTERDAM. Billy Pilgrim. Lawrenceville.

412-904-2915.

ROWDY BUCK. Top 40 Dance.

South Side. 412-431-2825.

S BAR. Pete Butta. South Side.

412-481-7227.

SHADOW LOUNGE. Between the Sheets. DJ Big Phil. Also feat. live cover singers. East Liberty.

412-363-8277.

SUN 09

RIVERS CASINO. DJs Bill Bara & Digital Dave. North Side.

412-231-7777.

SHADOW LOUNGE. Phat Man Dee. East Liberty. 412-363-8277.

SMILING MOOSE. The Upstage Nation. DJ EzLou & N8theSk8.

Electro, post punk, industrial, new

wave, alternative dance. South Side. 412-431-4668.

JAZZ

WED 12

THU 06

AVA BAR & LOUNGE. DJ Outtareach. East Liberty.

412-363-8277.

BLOOMFIELD BRIDGE TAVERN. Fuzz! Drum & bass weekly.

Bloomfield. 412-682-8611.

SPOON. Spoon Fed. Hump day chill. House music. aDesusParty.

East Liberty. 412-362-6001.

HIP HOP/ R&B THU 06

SHADOW LOUNGE. SPOSE Spose.

Camp Lo. East Liberty.

412-363-8277.

FULL LIST ONLINE

FRI 07

ANDYS. Spanky Wilson. Downtown.

412-773-8884.

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Roger Humphries RH Factor. North Side.

412-904-3335.

LITTLE E’S. The Bridgett Perdue Trio. Downtown.

412-392-2217.

MANCHESTER CRAFTSMEN’S GUILD. A Peter White Christmas.

North Side. 412-322-0800.

www. per pa pghcitym .co

FRI 07

SHADOW LOUNGE. Kids These Days. East Liberty. 412-363-8277.

SAT 08

SHADOW LOUNGE. Live From The Cockpit. East Liberty.

412-363-8277.

SUN 09

SHADOW LOUNGE. MOD SUN. East Liberty. 412-363-8277.

TUE 11

STAGE AE. 2 Chainz, Cap 1.

North Side.

WED 12

CONSOL ENERGY CENTER. Wiz Khalifa. Uptown.

412-642-1800.

BLUES THU 06

MOONDOG’S. The Sauce Boss.

Blawnox. 412-828-2040.

FRI 07

EXCUSES BAR & GRILL. Don Hollowood’s Cobra Kings. South Side. 412-431-4090.

LEGACY LANES. Bobby Hawkins Back Alley Blues. Baldwin.

412-653-2695.

PENN BREWERY. The Blues Orphans. North Side. 412-237-9400.

SAT 08

CENT’ ANNI’S. Rhythm Hawks Band. Beechview. 412-207-9545.

DREW MENAS RESTAURANT & LOUNGE. The Fabulous Mr. B. North Versailles. 412-829-7022.

FRANK’S PUB & GRILL. Billy Price.

Bethel Park. 412-833-4606.

INN-TERMISSION LOUNGE. The Rhythm Aces. South Side.

MOONDOG’S. Ron Yarosz & the Vehicle. Blawnox. 412-828-2040.

ST. JAMES PLACE TAVERN. Bobby Hawkins Back Alley Blues.

South Side. 412-431-3222.

WED 12

ALLEGHENY WINE MIXER. Two Wheel Pass. Lawrenceville.

412-252-2337.

ANDYS. Joe Negri. Downtown.

412-773-8884.

LITTLE E’S. Jessica Lee & Friends.

Entrepreneurial Thursdays.

Downtown. 412-392-2217.

NEW HAZLETT THEATER. Raul Malo. North Side. 412-320-4610.

PAPA J’S RISTORANTE. Jimmy Z & Friends. Carnegie.

412-429-7272.

BOCKTOWN BEER & GRILL. The Olga Watkins Band. North Fayette.

412-788-2333.

CAFE NOTTE. Billy Heid.

Emsworth. 412-761-2233.

SAT 08

ANDYS. Tania Grubbs. Downtown.

412-773-8884.

CIOPPINO SEAFOOD CHOPHOUSE BAR. Moorehouse Jazz. Strip District. 412-281-6593.

CJ’S. Brother to Brother, The Tony Campbell Saturday Jazz Jam Session. Strip District.

412-642-2377.

ELWOOD’S PUB. Erin Burkett, Virgil Walters, Eric Susoeff.

Cheswick. 724-265-1181.

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Eric Johnson & the Fabulous A Team. North Side.

412-904-3335.

LITTLE E’S. The Kim Hasara Band.

Downtown. 412-392-2217.

THE SPACE UPSTAIRS. Second Saturdays. Jazz-happening series feat. live music, multimedia experimentations, more. Hosted

by The Pillow Project. Point Breeze.

412-225-9269.

SUN 09

ALLEGHENY UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST CHURCH. Gypsy Jazz & Klezmer Trio w/ Susanne Ortner-Roberts, John Marcinizyn & Vladimir Mollov. North Side.

412-513-6444.

ELWOOD’S PUB. Jeff Pogas.

Cheswick. 724-265-1181.

EMMANUEL EPISCOPAL CHURCH. Jazz at Emmanuel.

North Side. 412-231-0454.

JAMES STREET GASTROPUB & SPEAKEASY. Maureen Budway.

North Side. 412-904-3335.

OMNI WILLIAM PENN. Chris Pangikas. Downtown.

412-553-5235.

TUE 11

ANDYS. Vladimir Mollov.

Downtown. 412-773-8884.

MANSIONS ON FIFTH. Alton Merrell Duo. Shadyside.

WED 12

ANDYS. Lilly Abreu. Downtown.

412-773-8884.

DANTE’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE. Jerry & Lou Lucarelli.

Brentwood. 412-884-4600.

ACOUSTIC THU 06

BILLY’S ROADHOUSE BAR & GRILL. Mark Pipas. Wexford.

724-934-1177.

ELWOOD’S PUB. The Fiddlers West Deer Bluegrass Review.

Cheswick. 724-265-1181.

MULLIGAN’S SPORTS BAR & GRILLE. Acoustic Night.

West Mifflin. 412-461-8000.

FRI 07

BEE’Z BISTRO & PUB. Gina Rendina Duo. Bridgeville.

412-257-9877.

BIDDLE’S ESCAPE. Brad Yoder.

Regent Square. 412-999-9009.

CAFE AU VINEYARD. Cafe’ Au Vineyard. Bridgeville.

412-921-4174.

PITTSBURGH CENTER FOR THE ARTS. Pittsburgh Songwriters Circle. 2nd of 2 compilation release shows.

Shadyside. 412-361-0873.

SAT 08

HAMBONE’S. The Henhouse Roosters. Lawrenceville.

412-681-4318.

OLIVE OR TWIST. The Vagrants. Downtown.

412-255-0525.

PITTSBURGH PUBLIC MARKET. David Shelow. Strip District.

412-281-4505.

SPEAL’S TAVERN. The Exports w/ Laurie Shea & Dick Wade.

Unknown.

TWIN OAKS LOUNGE. The Seams. White Oak. 412-916-6962.

MON 10

AVA BAR & LOUNGE. Elizabeth Shepherd. East Liberty.

412-363-8277.

HAMBONE’S. Monday Night Whiskey Rebellion Bluegrass Jam. Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318.

TUE 11

BOCKTOWN BEER & GRILL. Singer Songwriter Night. North Fayette. 412-788-2333.

WED 12

ALLEGHENY ELKS LODGE #339. Pittsburgh Banjo Club.

Wednesdays. North Side.

412-321-1834.

PARK HOUSE. Dodgy Mountain Boys & the Park House Jammers.

North Side. 412-596-2743.

REGGAE THU 06

CLUB TABOO. The Flow Band.

Homewood. 412-277-3787.

SAT 08

PENN BREWERY. The Flow Band.

North Side. 412-237-9400.

CHURCH. Urban Impact. Christmas concert. North Side. 412-321-3811.

PITTSBURGH EAST COMMUNITY CHURCH. B.E. Taylor. Plum.

SIXTH PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH. Pittsburgh Camerata. The Light of Christmas. Squirrel Hill.

412-417-3707.

SUCCOP THEATER, BUTLER COMMUNITY COLLEGE. The Pittsburgh Philharmonic.

Butler. 724-284-8505.

WESTMORELAND COUNTY COMMUNITY COLLEGE. WCCC Chamber Orchestra & the Full Orchestra. Joyful & Triumphant.

Youngwood. 724-925-4000.

DECK THE DECKS W asked local We musicians and music i lluminaries i i to tell ll us about some of their favorite — and least favorite — holiday tunes.

Slim Forsythe “Good King Wenceslas” — I have loved this carol since the very first time I heard it as a kid and quickly memorized four of the verses. I love the melody and the harmonies. And I love the story of the king and his loyal page hikin’ across the land in the dark of night, in the snow and cold, to take a meal to a peasant and his family.

SAT 08

Sheila Liming, The Armadillos My favorite is “Sister Winter,” by Sufjan Stevens, though it can’t be considered “traditional” by any means. It captures both the joy and sadness of the holidays in equal measure, though. And, because retail stores have, apparently, yet to catch on to Sufjan Stevens, I’m not subjected to it hundreds of times every holiday season.

SUN 09

COUNTRY THU 06

CARNEGIE LIBRARY OF HOMESTEAD MUSIC HALL. Phil Vassar. Munhall. 412-368-5225.

SAT 08

GHOST RIDERS 2. Xela Sound.

Butler. 724-285-3415.

CLASSICAL THU 06

PSO CELLIST MICHAEL LIPMAN. Heinz Hall, Downtown.

412-361-3346.

FRI 07

BACH CHOIR OF PITTSBURGH. Timeless: Messiah in Space. Hunt Armory, Shadyside.

HANDEL’S MESSIAH W/ THE SHADYSIDE CHANCEL CHOIR & PERIOD INSTRUMENTS. Shadyside Presbyterian Church, Shadyside. 412-682-4300.

PITTSBURGH SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA. Haydn & Saint-Saens’ Organ Symphony feat. Leonard Slatkin, conductor & Anne Akiko Meyers, violin. Heinz Hall, Downtown. 412-392-4900.

MON 10

PITTSBURGH CHAMBER MUSIC SOCIETY. Carnegie Music Hall, Oakland. 412-622-3131.

PITTSBURGH SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA. Haydn & Saint-Saens’ Organ Symphony feat. Leonard Slatkin, conductor & Anne Akiko Meyers, violin. Heinz Hall, Downtown.

412-392-4900.

OTHER MUSIC

SAT 08

LEMONT. John Sarkis.

Mt. Washington. 412-431-3100.

APOLLO’S FIRE: SACRUM MYSTERIUM. Pittsburgh Renaissance & Baroque.

Synod Hall, Oakland.

412-361-2048.

BACH CHOIR OF PITTSBURGH. Timeless: Messiah in Space. Hunt Armory, Shadyside.

EDGEWOOD SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA. First Presbyterian Church of Edgewood, Edgewood.

412-473-8880.

N E W S

FRI 07

LEMONT. Judi Figel.

Mt. Washington. 412-431-3100.

SAT 08

MON 10

HAMBONE’S. Cabaret. Jazz standards & showtunes singalong.

Lawrenceville. 412-681-4318.

HOLIDAY MUSIC ALLEGHENY CENTER ALLIANCE

TA S T E

SUN 09

ALLEGHENY CENTER ALLIANCE CHURCH. Urban Impact.

Christmas concert. North Side.

412-321-3811.

EAST LIBERTY PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH. Children’s Festival Chorus. East Liberty.

412-281-4790.

KEARNS SPIRITUALITY CENTER. North Hills Chorale. Allison Park.

724-601-5667.

PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH OF SEWICKLEY. Advent Lessons & Carols Service. Sewickley.

412-741-4550.

MON 10

HEINZ HALL. B.E. Taylor.

Downtown. 412-392-4900.

TUE 11

BENEDUM CENTER. Mannheim Steamroller Christmas

by Chip Davis. Downtown.

412-456-6666.

HEINZ HALL. B.E. Taylor.

Downtown. 412-392-4900.

PALACE THEATRE. Clay Aiken.

Greensburg. 724-836-8000.

WED 12

FRI 07 +

KEAN THEATRE. Rat Pack Christmas. Gibsonia.

724-444-5326.

KEARNS SPIRITUALITY CENTER. North Hills Chorale. Allison Park.

724-601-5667.

PITTSBURGH PUBLIC MARKET. Friends in Harmony. Strip District.

412-281-4505.

ST. ANDREW’S EPISCOPAL CHURCH. Pittsburgh Camerata.

The Light of Christmas. Highland Park. 412-661-1245.

ST. JOHN CHRYSOSTOM BYZANTINE CATHOLIC CHURCH. Cathasaigh. Greenfield.

412-421-0243.

WCCC YOUNGWOOD. WCCC Community Choir & Symphonic Band. Youngwood.

724-925-4000.

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BENEDUM CENTER. Mannheim Steamroller Christmas

by Chip Davis. Downtown.

412-456-6666.

M U S I C

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PAID ADVERTORIAL SPONSORED BY

What to do

IN PITTSBURGH

December 5 - 11 WEDNESDAY 5 Sikes

SHADOW LOUNGE East Liberty. 412-363-8277. With special guests Amuck, Doomsday Initiative & more. Over 18 show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 7p.m.

THURSDAY 6 Raul Malo

NEW HAZLETT THEATRE Allegheny Square.

412-320-4610. With special guests Seth Walker. All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 8p.m.

Saliva ALTAR BAR Strip District.

412-263-2877. With special guests Patron Saint, Descendsion & 12 gauge Justice. All ages show. Tickets: ticketfly. com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 6:30p.m.

Phil Vassar Christmas Show CARNEGIE LIBRARY MUSIC

newbalancepittsburgh.com

HALL Munhall. 412-368-5225.

All ages show. Tickets: carnegieconcerts.com.

7:30p.m.

The Blues Devils & Derek Woodz. Limited all ages.

Tickets: ticketfly.com or 412-481-ROCK. 8p.m.

The Smashing Pumpkins

Breakfast or Lunch with Santa

STAGE AE North Side. All ages show. Tickets: ticketmaster. com or 1-800-745-3000. Doors open at 7p.m.

TRAX FARMS Finleyville.

412-835-3246. Reservations required, Saturday & Sundays only. For more information visit traxfa traxfarms.com.

Through Dec.16.

FRIDAY 7

THE SMASHING PUMPKINS

The Nutcracker

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 6 STAGE AE

BENEDUM CENTER Downtown. 412-456-6666. Tickets: pbt.org. Through Dec. 30.

The Nativity: A Christmas Gift

A Musical Christmas Carol BYHAM THEATER Downtown.

412-456-6666. Tickets: pittsburghclo.org. Through Dec. 23.

ALUMNI HALL - UNIVERSITY OF PITTSBURGH Oakland.

Tickets available at the door.

For more information call 412-206-1360. Through Dec. 23.

Rubblebucket/Reptar MR. SMALLS THEATRE Millvale. 412-821-4447. With special guest Railbird. All ages show. Tickets: 866-468-3401 or ticketweb.com/opusone. 8p.m.

SATURDAY 8

pittsburghsymphony.org.

8p.m.

ALTAR BAR Strip District.

412-263-2877. With special guests Set it off, Wilson & Car Party. All ages show.

Tickets: ticketfly.com or 1-877-4-FLY-TIX. 7p.m.

Between the Sheets

Olivia Newton-John with the PSO

Tyler Bryant & The Shakedown

Every Avenue

The Crucible POINT PARK PLAYHOUSE Oakland. Tickets: 412-392-8000 or pittsburghplayhouse.com.

Through Dec. 16.

HEINZ HALL Downtown.

412-392-4900. Tickets:

SHADOW LOUNGE East Liberty. 412-363-8277. $7 before 11/$10 after. 10p.m.

MONDAY 10 MO

Grid Gridiron Glory: The Best of the Pro Foot Football Hall of Fame HEINZ HISTORY CENTER Downtown. 412-454-6000.

Tickets: showclix.com. For more information visit heinzhistorycenter.org.

10a.m. Through Jan. 6.

TUESDAY 11

SUNDAY 9

2 Chainz with Cap 1

HARD ROCK CAFE Station Square. With special guests

STAGE AE North Side. All ages show. Tickets: ticketmaster.com or 1-800-745-3000. Doors open at 7p.m.

GRAND OPENING OF OUR WEXFORD LOCATION! FREE PARKING in OAKLAND! Underground Garage Sennott Square • Corner of Forbes and S. Bouquet

WEDNESDAY December 5

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Stop in and check out our Men’s + Women’s Grand Opening Specials!

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112 W. BRIDGE ST 412-464-1002 NEW BALANCE

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NEW BALANCE

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.05/12.12.2012

NEWBALANCEPITTSBURGH.COM

WATE R FR O NT

WEXFO R D PLAZA 10616 PERRY HWY 724-940-2400 FACEBOOK.COM/NEWBALANCEPGH

BEHIND THE THRONE {BY AL HOFF}

BY TURNS, IT’S FRUSTRATING AND FUNNY, TEDIOUS AND THRILLING, OBLIQUE AND OBVIOUS

If, like me, you know nothing about Denmark in the late 18th century, you’re in luck. That means the rather extraordinary historical events depicted in A Royal Affair will be new to you. If you’re just a sucker for any lavish costume drama, replete with illicit assignations and backstabbings, you’ve also picked a winner.

Nikolaj Arcel’s palace intrigue occurs over a decade or so, beginning with the arrival of King Christian VII’s new bride, Caroline (Alicia Vikander). It’s an unhappy match: Caroline is relatively modern, while Christian (Mikkel Boe Følsgaard) is feckless, louche and mentally ill.

Enjoying the light: Mads Mikkelsen and Alicia Vikander

CP APPROVED

While the rest of Europe enters the Age of Enlightenment, Denmark’s ruling elite remain happily in the dark. But the arrival of a new palace doctor — the German Johann Struensee (Mads Mikkelsen) — orchestrated by a few discreet free-thinkers, upends the political and the personal.

Struensee gradually convinces the king to put his royal signature to various reformations. In Caroline, Struensee finds a political ally (he loans her forbidden Rousseau texts), and the lonely queen finds a more compatible bedmate. It’s a surprisingly workable threesome, until the German, the mad king and the uppity queen go too far for the un-Enlightened palace powerbrokers.

Arcel’s palace melodrama is perhaps a shade too long. But it is handsomely produced and well acted, and for most royalwatchers offers a fresh take on history. In Danish, with subtitles. Starts Fri., Dec. 7.

Regent Square AHOFF@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

In Playing for Keeps, Gerald Butler portrays a washed-up sports star who takes a job coaching his kid’s soccer team — while juggling his ex-wife, advances es from sideline moms and a new job offer as a TV host. Gabriele Muccino directs this comedy. Starts Fri., Dec. 7.

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{BY AL HOFF}

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Denis Lavant, as “Oscar,” portraying the Wild Man of Pere Lachaise

OLY MOTORS opens as a man

(played by director Leos Carax) wanders from his bedroom through a secret entrance (opened by screwing his middle finger) into a theater, where he and we gaze out from the stage/screen at an impassive audience.

It’s a disorienting position that presages a film that is equally self-referential, confusing, amusing and amused with itself.

After that, we ride along in a stretch limo with “Oscar” (Denis Lavant), an actor portraying various characters throughout the day. The limo is his dressing room, supplying costumes and props. When Oscar exits the limo, the scene begins; he is variously a wild man, a grumpy dad, an assassin, an old woman and so on. The scenes likewise run the gamut from melodrama and satire to digitally rendered fantasy.

Described that way, Holy Motors sounds coherent, but instead it’s an audacious romp through a funhouse of narratives, themes and visuals. By turns, it’s

frustrating and funny, tedious and thrilling, oblique and obvious.

By riffing on what we expect of cinema — linear plotting, conflict between characters, a musical number — Holy Motors never takes off as a deliriously loopy experience. This grounding in the familiar makes much of the film pal-

HOLY MOTORS

DIRECTED BY: Leos Carax STARRING: Denis Lavant, Edith Scob In French, with subtitles.

Starts Fri., Dec. 7. Harris

CP APPROVED atable as a series of mini-films within a larger story about Oscar, but it also serves to dampen what might have been a purer, everything-be-damned wild ride for the senses.

Much about Holy Motors is openended: It could be a satire, a character(s) study, an homage to performance and cinema (plenty of nods here for the cin-

easte), a rumination on everyday roleplaying, a poke in the eye from some arthouse elitist, or all of the above.

Two specific scenes (including the film’s last) suggest that Carax is concerned about the current state of cinema, which, through new technologies, has drifted away from its roots — actors and mechanical equipment, or the “holy motors” of the title. (Ironically, Carax shot on digital video.) Then again, some of this was expressed by talking cars, so I might have gotten it wrong.

By now, hopefully, you know if this is the sort of film you like. I’m a bit torn on approving it. While I appreciated much of its artistry and verve, I did find a good bit of it tedious and self-indulgent; I liked it more when it was over. Perhaps it’s meant to stick with you, rather than be entertaining or explicable upon viewing. But its brio, as well as Lavant’s performance, makes up for a lot. Holy Motors is packed with variety, so there’s something for everyone, including an accordion interlude.

A HOF F @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

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FILM CAPSULES CP

= CITY PAPER APPROVED

NEW

WAKE IN FRIGHT. In the 1970s, some surprisingly dark and disturbing films came out of sunny Australia. One of them is Ted Kotcheff’s 1971 drama, about an English school teacher who becomes stranded in an isolated, rough mining town in the outback and falls in with the drunken and deranged locals. Believed lost for years, this unnerving thriller, starring Donald Pleasance and Gary Bond, has been recently restored and re-released. Fri., Dec. 7, through Mon., Dec. 10. Melwood

REPERTORY

LOVE ACTUALLY. In 2003’s directorial debut from screenwriter Richard Curtis (Four Weddings and a Funeral), various Londoners in 10 intersecting stories pursue love throughout the Christmas season. Hugh Grant flutters, Emma Thompson frets, Rowan Atkinson looks peevish. Stop me if you’ve heard this before. The best story — Bill Nighy as a rock star making a shameless comeback bid — is the one that ironically features no romance at all. N early all the stories resolve exactly as you’d expect them to — with lots of ridiculously orchestrated coincidences and syrupy declarations of love. Love Actually is like that box of over-sweet chocolates: The first candy tastes OK, then you realize they all taste the same and that you don’t much like them after all. 7:30 p.m. Thu., Dec. 6. AMC Loews (Al Hoff)

Wake in Fright Christmas lights. Jeremiah S. Chechik directs this 1989 neo-classic holiday comedy, penned by John Hughes. 10 p.m. Fri., Dec. 7, and 10 p.m. Sat., Dec. 8. Oaks (AH) WHITE CHRISTMAS. Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye are a pair of entertainers who travel to Vermont with two singing sisters (Rosemary Clooney and Vera-Ellen) for the holidays. Once there, the men discover the

DEPRESSION : THE MOVIE. Ohio filmmaker Henrique Couto breaks from his gory horror roots and delivers this new comedy about four people who just can’t get life to work for them.

The screening will be followed by a Q&A with the filmmaker. 8 p.m. Fri., Dec. 7. Hollywood, Dormont EDDIE PRESLEY. Jeff Burr’s 1192 downbeat drama depicts a down-and-out Elvis impersonator (Duane Whitaker) working on the fringes of the entertainment biz. 9:45 p.m. Fri., Dec. 7.

Hollywood, Dormont

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 13 TH LIVE

NEW HAZLETT THEATER

VIP DOORS OPEN AT 6PM - DINNER WILL BE SERVED SPECIAL VIP PERFORMANCE WILL START AT 6:30PM

VISIT WYEP.ORG FOR MORE INFO

BENEFITTING THE WYEP YOUTH MEDIA PROJECT! 36

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.05/12.12.2012

RARE EXPORTS: A CHRISTMAS TALE. This holiday tale, set in Lapland, asks the eternal question: Is there really a Santa Claus? Young Pietari, who lives with his father in northern Finland, thinks that a mining company may have disturbed Santa’s lair in a nearby mountain. But Pietari’s dad has other concerns involving wolves, the Russian border and greedy American mining companies.

While Pietari frets about Santa, the men of the village — who are rough-edged, snowmobiling, reindeer-shooting Arctic Circle bad-asses — tackle a weirder problem: Somebody stole all the heaters.

Jalmari Helander’s film isn’t your granny’s Christmas charmer; it zigs, then zags, slowly revealing its dark, comedic heart. And though this tale centers on a naive child wondering about Santa, this is not a film for the kiddies. Unless, of course, your brood is into gutted reindeer, Xmas Eve profanity and dozens of old naked Finnish dudes running in the snow. But if you’re fed up with holiday shmaltz, pack your sleigh — and chain-saw — for this entertaining, and weirdly uplifting, bit of frosty bad attitude. In

CP

DOORS OPEN AT 7PM - SHOW AT 7:30PM

Featuring: HOLIDAY TUNES PERFORMED BY MARK DIGNAM AND THE HOUSE OF SONG, NEIGHBOURS, CHET VINCENT & THE BIG BEND, AND SPECIAL GUESTS

White Christmas country inn is run by their old Army general, and he’s in financial straits. Looks like a big musical show might be the ticket! Besides the title song, Michael Curtiz’s 1954 film includes other Irving Berlin classics such as “Count Your Blessings Instead of Sheep” and “Blue Skies.” The film screens as this month’s CineBrunch selection, with light fare provided by Oakmont Bakery. 10 a.m. (brunch); 11 a.m. (screening). Sat., Dec. 8. Oaks. $12 brunch and movie, in advance at www. oakstheater.com; $6, movie only

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale ATION AL LAMPOON ’S CHRISTMAS CP NVACATION. For my money, the funniest of the “Vacation” franchise, because it taps a universal truth: Other people’s behavior ruins your holidays, while your behavior contributes to other people’s misery. It’s all about giving and getting! Everyman Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) tries to lay on the perfect Christmas, but is undercut by his low-rent cousin (Randy Quaid), uptight neighbors, demanding elderly relatives, his boss, a squirrel and a tangle of

Finnish, with subtitles. 7 p.m. Sat., Dec. 8; 7 p.m.

Sun., Dec. 9; and 7:30 p.m. Tue., Dec. 11. Hollywood, Dormont (AH)

Buying or selling a home?

A CHRISTMAS BUN N Y. A lonely foster child finds an injured rabbit in the Michigan woods, and takes it to the “Bunny Lady,” who runs a rabbit-rescue group on her farm. Sophie Bolen and Florence Henderson star in this recent family holiday movie, written and directed by Tom Seidman. A silent auction benefiting the Rabbit Wranglers, a rescue group for pet bunnies, begins at 1 p.m. 2 p.m. Sun., Dec. 9. Hollywood, Dormont IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE. In Frank Capra’s beloved 1946 holiday classic, a harried man (Jimmy Stewart) re-discovers the simple joys of life. Enjoy it on the big screen. 7:30 p.m. Tue., Dec. 11. AMC Loews FILM KITCHEN . The screening series for local and independent artists features four shorts. The longest and most intriguing is Seth Kenlon’s “Five People Talk About Clay Hawkins’ Efforts in Invention.” The 25-minute documentary is a nearly measure-bymeasure dissection of a lengthy, Neil Youngish solo work for electric guitar. Touring musician Hawkins is not widely known, but these five interview subjects — ethnomusicologist, music student, author, artist and philosophy professor — are really into this track.

The earnest, painstaking quality of the analysis might occasionally make you wonder whether this is a mockumentary. (One interviewee describes one musical passage as being “all of three seconds long, but it says a lot.”) But the music is enjoyable, and the talking heads offer some chewy insights.

Other works screening include Jim Helfrich’s “Lady in Red,” a pulpy short that starts with a debate in a redneck bar about cinematic vampires; Joy LeViere and N athan Cobbett’s “Clayton,” which incorporates stop-action animation; and Jonathan Gribbin’s science-fiction riff “Blast Off.” 8 p.m. Tue.,

“A

GIFT FOR MOVIEGOERS...

IT’S CINEMA RELOADED.”

“Five People Talk about Clay Hawkins’ Efforts in Invention” Dec. 11 (7 p.m. reception). Melwood. $6. 412-6819500 (Bill O’Driscoll)

Choose a pro who lives and works in the city.

SCROOGED. It’s a snarky modern update of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, starring the droll Bill Murray as the grumpy TV executive missing the true meaning of the holidays. Richard Donner directs this 1988 comedy. 7:30 p.m. Thu., Dec. 13. AMC Loews

Call today for a consultation: Rick Schweikert Coldwell Banker Real Estate Services

THE N AKED BRAN D. Can much-maligned corporations actually do good? Create better products, while being conscientious citizens and not causing further harm to the planet? Explore these possibilities in this new hour-long documentary from Jeff Rosenbloom and Shreng-Lee Huang. The screening will be followed by a discussion led by Rosenbloom and Bonin Bough, formerly of PepsiCo. 5:30 p.m. Thu., Dec. 13. Harris.

AN DY WARHOL FILMS. Selections from Warhol’s Factory Diaries series (1971-75) and other shorts screen. Ongoing. Free with museum admission. Andy Warhol Museum, North Side. www.warhol.org

5887 Forbes Avenue Pittsburgh, PA 15217

SUPERBLY

“

412-352-3417

ENTERTAINING.” – Joe Morgenstern, WALL STREET JOURNAL

“

ffff

A SUMPTUOUS ROMANCE.”

– Manohla Dargis, THE NEW YORK TIMES

– Elizabeth Weitzman, NY DAILY NEWS

“ ONE

OF THE YEAR’S BEST FILMS.”

Rick Schweikert rick.schweikert@pittsburghmoves.com

– David Edelstein, NEW YORK MAGAZINE

MADS MIKKELSEN ALICIA VIKANDER MIKKEL BOE FØLSGAARD

A ROYAL AFFAIR THEIR LOVE AFFAIR WOULD DIVIDE A NATION

www.holymotorsfilm.com

EXCLUSIVE ENGAGEMENT

STARTS FRIDAY DECEMBER 7

PITTSBURGH Pittsburgh Filmmakers Harris Theatre (412) 682-4111

EXCLUSIVE ENGAGEMENT STARTS FRIDAY, DECEMBER 7 W W W. A ROYA L A F FA I R M OV I E . CO M

CALL THEATRE FOR SHOWTIMES • NO PASSES ACCEPTED

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[BOOK]

“AT LAST HE HITS THE BAR AND GETS AN IMMEDIATE REWARD OF FOOD.”

MISSING PIECES In Roberto Bolaño’s fictional world, writers are the vagabond heroes who partake in literary quests in search of other elusive writers. Now there exist similar groups in search of Bolaño himself, exhuming newlyfound works by the Chilean following his death in 2003, at age 50. Translator Natasha Wimmer is among them.

“I never met him,” says Wimmer, speaking by phone from her home in Brooklyn. “I only read The Savage Detectives after he died.” Her 2007 translation of the 1998 novel brought Bolaño huge acclaim in the Englishspeaking world, a reputation cemented by the translation of his posthumous epic 2666, which won Wimmer the PEN Translation Prize in 2009.

Wimmer’s latest translation, the newly published Woes of the True Policeman (Farrar, Straus & Giroux), is Bolano’s third posthumous novel. It was pieced together from various computer files and handwritten documents found in Bolaño’s desk where he died in Spain.

Typically episodic, Woes fleshes out the recurring Bolaño character Amalfitano, a literature professor exiled to a region of Northern Mexico that continually fascinated the writer. Critics have suggested it’s a missing part to 2666.

“It’s possible that he had 2666 on his computer at the same time as this novel and just moved pieces back and forth.”

Wimmer says. “I think it’s definitely of interest to people wanting to find out about his writing process.”

Wimmer herself is still unpacking this.

“Borges is the obvious comparison, but I just recently read Life A User’s Manual and it was kind of a revelation. Bolaño took a lot from [French experimentalist Georges] Perec; lists, stories inside of stories and building up a narrative from multiple strands.”

Wimmer came to translating via publishing. Among the six Bolaño books she’s translated is one with the blurb “The definitive collection of everything Bolaño was working on just before his untimely death,” a collaboration with his other translator, Chris Andrews.

She met Andrews just last month.

“When I met him I definitely had the feeling of being in ‘The Part About the Critics,’” Wimmer says, referencing a section of 2666. “Two Bolaño translators and scholars meeting and talking about Bolaño. It was very Bolaño-esqe.”

INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

NATASHA WIMMER reads from Woes of a True Policeman 7:30 p.m. Sat., Dec. 8 (7 p.m. reception). City of Asylum/ Pittsburgh, 330 Sampsonia Way, North Side. Free, by reservation only. 412-3212190 or www.cityofasylumpittsburgh.org

38

Natasha Wimmer

{BY CATHERINE SYLVAIN}

[EXHIBIT]

PRE-WASHED GENES {BY BILL O’DRISCOLL}

R

{PHOTOS BY HEATHER MULL}

This X-ray of a mouse, which a lab in Portugal genetically engineered to have no ribs, is on exhibit at the Center for PostNatural History.

ICHARD PELL’S photos, shot in the

parking lot of a local Walmart, depict giant pumpkins. The gourds, submitted for a contest this fall, are boulder-sized, so heavy on the vine that they warped into blobs out of Dali.

Some might call them grotesque. Pell views the photos bemusedly. “Those are post-natural wonders of Western Pennsylvania,” he says, grinning.

Pell, 37, an assistant art professor at Carnegie Mellon University, founded and runs the Center for PostNatural History.

Its unassuming Garfield venue sits amidst the art galleries and other storefronts on Penn Avenue. But this mini-museum dedicated to life-forms intentionally altered by humans is unique. Starting where traditional natural-history museums end, the Center even has a touring component that’s visited Amsterdam and is booked for Berlin, Germany.

Post-natural life arose some 10,000 years ago, when humans began breeding domesticated animals and plants out of their wild forebears: Milk cows, housecats

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.05/12.12.2012

and corn were, like 1,000-pound pumpkins, unknown in nature. In recent decades, post-natural organisms have also proliferated through genetic engineering: tomatoes implanted with flounder genes for frost resistance, mosquitoes labcrafted to curb malaria.

THE CENTER FOR POSTNATURAL HISTORY

is open 6-8 p.m. Fri., Dec. 7 (and every first Friday) and noon-4 p.m. Sundays. 4913 Penn Ave., Garfield. www.postnatural.org

Genetic modification is controversial, with debates over matters considerably more worrisome than hypertrophic gourds, from food safety to the ethics of patenting living organisms. But the Center, which opened in March, doesn’t take sides. Its airy foyer displays colorful posters of transgenic fruits and vegetables now being field-tested (like a Monsanto onion with “herbicide tolerance”) or already approved for use. Wittily,

Pell offers trading cards featuring genetically modified organisms like a blight-resistant chestnut tree. On some shelves sit a Rottweiler skull and a jar containing a warpedlooking, immature transgenic pheasant. A book-length collection of government documents, painstakingly photocopied by Pell, is titled U.S. Patents on Living Organisms, 1873-1981. It lists everything from virus cultures to “ruminant feed additives.”

Though run mostly by Pell and University of Pittsburgh graduate student Laura Allen, and funded by small foundations, the Center is surprisingly expansive. In its large, dimly lit back room are museum-style vitrines, most with old-school telephone handsets playing informational recordings.

One diorama depicts the government base where the Department of Defense raises BioSteel goats — genetically engineered to produce milk containing spider-silk protein for bulletproof armor. An aquarium contains a couple of GloFish, zebrafish supplemented with coral genes by Yorktown Technologies so they glow under UV light.

GloFish are sold as pets, but only in the U.S. CONTINUES ON PG. 40

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Now - January 20 CLO Cabaret

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PRE-WASHED GENES, CONTINUED FROM PG. 38

Another display contains a flaskful of kernels of Monsanto’s widely planted, much-criticized RoundUp Ready corn. It’s engineered to resist the popular herbicide, but legally prohibited from replanting by farmers. There’s also the H5N flu vaccine; the preserved testicles of a neutered cat; and a bowl of live brine shrimp (a.k.a. the comic-book novelty “Sea Monkeys”). And there’s a wall-sized video projection of a vintage film about lab mice confronting a food puzzle. “At last he hits the bar and gets an immediate reward of food,” says the cheerful narrator. “Has he learned?”

Also on display is one of those transgenic mosquitoes, altered so they can’t carry the parasite that causes malaria in humans. In 2009, 3.4 million such sterile male mosquitoes were released in the Cayman Islands to test their anti-malarial efficacy.

The mosquitoes, says Pell, were the first transgenic creature designed to thrive in the wild. But while such projects are controversial, most debates on transgenics involve agricultural uses. Transgenic foodstuffs are engineered for traits like higher yield and drought resistance. Supporters cite research holding such foods to be safe, and say they’re necessary to ensure people are fed in the face of population growth and climate change. Critics contend that doubts remain about the risks genetically modified organisms pose to human health, and their ecological impact. GMO crops have been linked to higher herbicide use and cross-pollination of non-GMO crops, a threat to biodiversity.

Thursday, Dec. 13th Carnegie Music Hall Oakland

7:30 PM Book Signing to Follow Tickets from $15!

{£Ó ÈÓÓ nnÈÈÊUÊ« ÌÌÃLÕÀ} iVÌÕÀið À} 40

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.05/12.12.2012

A taxidermied product (circa 1920s) of Maine’s Jackson Laboratories, inventor of the modern standardized laboratory mouse

Nations from Peru to Japan have banned imports or exports of GMOs, and the European Union requires that GMO foods be labeled. The U.S. has no such ban, and California just rejected a labeling referendum. In fact, most soy and corn grown here — the nation’s two largest crops — is transgenic.

Humanity’s history of harming nature

Richard Pell and Lauren Allen run the Center for PostNatural History.

with agriculture is extensive. Beef cattle trample the Great Plains where bison once roamed. Heedless farming sowed the 1930s Dust Bowl, and today’s agricultural runoff causes “dead zones” in the Gulf of Mexico and elsewhere.

But the Center for Postnatural History is less about airing debates than it is about artfully documenting the simple pervasiveness of human-altered life-forms. The Center is open just four hours most weeks, on Sundays. Most of its traffic arrives during Penn Avenue’s monthly art crawl, Unblurred. But Pell says that by-appointment visitors — sometimes by the busload — have come from as far away as Toronto.

The Center is even listed as an “offbeat tourist attraction” on popular website RoadsideAmerica.com.

At Dec. 7’s Unblurred, Pell will unveil a new exhibit featuring rodents from the Smithsonian Institution that were exposed to radiation during and after the Manhattan Project. Pell photographed the taxidermied mice during a research trip. They’re all pretty normal-looking — visually, at least, they’re better off than the transgenic mice the Center now depicts in two giant x-rays, which were bred, respectively, to have too many ribs or none at all.

Visitors often ask Center staffers whether they’re for or against post-natural life. Pell replies that the field’s too broad to say. “You have to take everything on a case-by-case basis,” he says.

Besides, he adds, a museum can’t spur real reflection if visitors are merely responding to the institution’s own adamant point of view. “What we want,” he says, “is for people to wrestle with these problems on their own terms.”

D RI S C OL L @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

COHEN & GRIGSBY TRUST PRESENTS SERIES

{PHOTO COURTESY OF BILL SHIRLEY}

Murphy/Smith Dance Collective’s Laura Warnock, Jamie Erin Murphy and Renee Danielle Smith

[DANCE]

HEAR THEM ROAR {BY STEVE SUCATO}

“REMEMBER, HE is the master of the house

and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.”

The line is from “The Good Wife’s Guide,” a widely circulated list attributed to a 1950s women’s magazine. Though the list itself is likely apocryphal, it reflects that era’s gender norms. And for choreographers Jamie Erin Murphy and Renee Danielle Smith, artistic directors of Murphy/Smith Dance Collective, such notions are just one aspect of the journey women have taken over the past century.

It’s a journey they chronicle in I Am Woman, premiering Dec. 7 at the Pittsburgh Dance Center.

Point Park University graduates Murphy and Smith describe the 40-minute multimedia work as a “sequential visual storybook” from women’s suffrage in the 1920s through today.

Set to a range of music — including feminist anthems “The Pill,” by Loretta Lynn, Lesley Gore’s “You Don’t Own Me,” and Helen Reddy’s “I Am Woman” — the work delves into “the different stereotypes of women over time, including how women have gone from having to be housewives to being in the workplace,” says Murphy. It also touches on themes of women’s empowerment, sexuality

and body-image issues.

In addition to “The Good Wife’s Guide,” Murphy and Smith say I Am Woman was inspired by literature and speeches, personal stories and videos found on YouTube — including a clip in which a current-day evangelist preacher explains why women shouldn’t wear pants, and how doing so confuses gender roles.

Danced by a cast of seven including Murphy and Smith, I Am Woman features choreography infused with movement reflecting styles from the different eras.

MURPHY/SMITH DANCE COLLECTIVE PERFORMS

I AM WOMAN

8 p.m. Fri., Dec. 7. Pittsburgh Dance Center, 4765 Liberty Ave., Bloomfield. $10. www.murphysmithdance.org

T NEX K! WEE

Both Murphy and Smith say that they are grateful for how far things have come for women, and that their work is not a gripe session about challenges that remain.

“It is more a mirror on society rather than any political statement,” says Smith.

The work also reflects Murphy/Smith Dance Collective’s evolution as a company.

Since its founding in 2011, it’s done mostly smaller works, but now is looking toward larger projects, say Murphy and Smith.

In addition to I Am Woman, the Dec. 7 program includes three short works, by independent artists Beth Ratas, Taylor Knight and Laura Warnock.

“Mannheim Steamroller is the perfect gift…

a holiday feast for the ears and eyes…

Mannheim Steamroller’s show was breathtaking.”

— Huntsville (AL) Times

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{PHOTO COURTESY OF LOUIS STEIN}

Angels in America at Carnegie Mellon Drama

[PLAY REVIEWS]

CLIPPED WINGS {BY TED HOOVER}

WINNING THE Pulitzer, Tony and any other award a play can win, Tony Kushner’s Angels in America: A Gay Fantasia on National Themes was nothing short of an earthquake when it debuted in 1993: a huge rumbling of ideas and an intense examination of what it means to be an American. As he proved with his screenplay for Lincoln, Kushner has no equal when it comes to making huge political ideas personal and making the personal the rock-solid foundation of the political.

ANGELS IN AMERICA: PART ONE — MILLENNIUM APPROACHES continues through Sat., Dec. 8. Philip Chosky Theater, Carnegie Mellon campus, Oakland. $18.50-29. 412-268-2407 or www.drama.cmu.edu

Angels is no exception. We meet Prior Walter, a gay man recently diagnosed with HIV; his soon-to-flee boyfriend, Louis Ironson; closeted Mormon lawyer Joe Pitt; and Pitt’s Valium-addicted wife, Harper. Thrown into this mix is Roy Cohn, based on the reallife Republican mongrel; ex-ex drag queen Belize; Joe’s mother; and an angel from heaven charging Prior with a great mission.

The monumental journeys all these

characters take results in what is unquestionably the most important play written in the past 60 years.

Carnegie Mellon Drama attacks the script with full force under the muscular direction of Jed Allen Harris who, along with his teams of designers, provides a swift, steel-plated production. A skilled student company navigates through Kushner’s complexities, with Emily Koch turning in a hauntingly melancholy performance as Harper.

But there’s a problem.

Angels in America is written as two parts: “Millennium Approaches” and “Perestroika.” I’ve never heard one person try to make the case that either part is a complete whole. But CMU is producing only “Millennium,” with no plans for “Perestroika.”

(Since when is doing half a play the same as doing the whole one?)

I knew that going into it. What I hadn’t counted on is how much they’d cut out of “Millennium” — scenes, characters, monologues, lines. By my reckoning, at least 40 minutes has been trashed, leaving unsupported action, vague character motivation and skeletal paraphrasing.

(There was an attempt to ameliorate this incompleteness: At the curtain call, we were told the cast would be performing the three-and-a-half-hour “Perestroika” in the lobby … in a 15-minute version.)

I can’t believe anyone involved doesn’t realize they’ve turned the sumptuous full-course feast of Angels in America into Chicken McNuggets.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.05/12.12.2012

CONCEITS {BY ROBERT ISENBERG}

IT’S A CUTE idea: Take an English translation of The Misanthrope, by Molière, and make it “modern.” Keep the 300-yearold plot and the powdered wigs, but add cell phones, text-speak and a beatbox. Then add the finishing touch — everything rhymes.

The School for Lies is a harmless re-creation by David Ives, comic playwright extraordinaire, best known for his one-act farces. Ives is one of the cleverest writers in America, a pleasant absurdist, and even when his plays don’t rhyme, they seem blessed by Dr. Seuss. Pittsburgh Irish & Classical Theatre often ends its season with a December comedy, and if you have a Zen-like patience, the Pittsburgh premiere of Lies should keep you chuckling for nearly three hours.

Frank (né François) is a cynical blowhard who wears only black. He is a guest of Celimene, a local socialite, and he proceeds to insult everyone around him. The gentleman Philinte, slighted, tricks Frank and Celimene into falling in love. Fool them once, shame on Philinte; fool them 23 times, and you’ve got a typical Molière play. Conceit follows conceit through to the final, ridiculous, twist.

Director Andrew Paul has assembled his regular cast of comic geniuses, a Who’s Who of local favorites. Nike Doukas is feisty as Celimene, whose rapier wit lands her in legal trouble. As Frank, Leo Marks is effortlessly appealing, even when he’s a jerk; the only problem with Marks, a PICT regular, is that he doesn’t live in Pittsburgh year-round. Luckily for us, most of the cast does.

THE SCHOOL FOR LIES continues through Dec. 15. Charity Randall Theatre, Stephen Foster Memorial, Forbes Avenue at Bigelow, Oakland. $20-48.

412-561-6000 or www.picttheatre.org

Like the original play, Lies takes considerable time to unfold. The rhymes are hypnotic, and although the cast performs with natural ease, the couplets are occasionally unheard, sometimes cringe-worthy, and often distracting. Meanwhile, Ives relies on the basest farcical tropes — the sex-obsessed girl, the shy bachelor, the usual potshots at cross-dressing, and the endless accusations of adultery and deceit. Ives’ vision is three-quarters musketeer France, one-quarter Brooklyn, and the combination can be odd (like when one character exclaims “LOL!”). Ives is still funnier than you and I combined, but the

{PHOTO COURTESY OF MICHELLE BELAN}

From left: Martin Giles, Ben Blazer, Nike Doukas and James FitzGerald in PICT’s The School for Lies

experiment sometimes drags.

The unexpected scene-stealer is Matt DeCaro, who plays both a butler and coachman. His gags are silliest, but sometimes silly is best.

I N F O @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

TIME CAPSULE {BY MICHELLE PILECKI}

TICK, TICK … BOOM! is an odd choice for 12

Peers Theater, or perhaps for any company this far into the 21st century. Though originally staged in its current form in 2001, Boom is set — and thoroughly rooted — in 1990. The one-act focuses on the angst of late Boomers/early Gen-Xers/Brady Bunch generationers on hitting the Big 3-0 without having achieved one’s goal: still living like a kid while friends move into adulthood.

The un-ironic, earnest self-awareness of people who would now be in their 50s seems uncomfortably dated. However, what’s most important here is that book, music and lyrics were written by Jonathan Larson, and originally performed by him as an autobiographical one-man show before he hit the big time with his 1996 Pulitzer- and Tony- and Drama Desk Award-winning Rent. Actually, Larson didn’t get to enjoy all the fame and (eventually) fortune, as he died of an undiagnosed heart malady shortly before the Broadway opening. (Chalk it up as another fatality due to lack of health insurance and regular preventive care.)

Thus Boom is the real story underlying the La Bohème structure of Rent. And if you like the music of the latter, you’ll appreciate Larson’s earlier efforts in Boom. OK, ’90s

Broadway pop (definitely NOT rock) isn’t quite my cup of tea. But, let’s face it, Rent was and remains a phenomenal success.

Variously titled 30/90 and Boho Days while Larson performed and developed it, Boom reflects the nitty-gritty of the struggling artist — not just the bathtub in the kitchen but also the business/process of grant-seeking, workshopping and trying to get one’s agent to pay attention. Playwright David Auburn reshaped Larson’s “rock monologue” into a tight three-person play for its 2001 premiere.

TICK, TICK … BOOM! continues through Sun., Dec 9.

Grey Box Theatre, 3595 Butler St., Lawrenceville. $15-20. 412-496-2194 or www.12peerstheater.org

Props to 12 Peers for tackling such a demanding show. The production, directed by F.J. Hartland, is somewhat uneven, with company artistic director Vince Ventura giving a yeoman performance in the central role, supported by associate artistic director Sara Fisher and Nathaniel LeDoux as his closest friends and other characters. Music director Ethan LaPlaca leads a solid backup band of G. Ryin Gaines, guitar; Pierce Cook, bass; and Mike Donovan, drums.

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DUB-LING DOWN {BY MICHELLE PILECKI}

WRAPPING UP its fourth season of Mid-

night Radio, Bricolage Production Co. pushes the boundaries of taste, humor and patience with Cult Movie Classics.

Prepare to cringe, groan and pound the chairs (hey, they’re new) as you double over, laughing at the Bricolagization of The 36th Chamber of Shaolin and Mothra vs. Godzilla. The originals are painful enough, but with the careful editing and live dialogue and special effects, Cult Movies is truly a classic.

Wonk that I am, I can’t help but be curious about the legal, i.e., intellectualproperty, mayhem visited upon the Japanese films by Bricolage artistic director Jeffrey Carpenter. Needless to say, these renderings stray far from the intense sincerity of the respective kung-fu masterwork and monster flick, with a large helping of adolescent body-function jokes, sexist non sequiturs and mindbending asides. The themes of sex, flatulence, violence, Asian pop culture and just plain weirdness continue in Midnight Radio’s customary “fake breaking news,” “commercials” and audienceparticipation “game show.”

I won’t drop any spoilers, except to note that in the “ads,” Japanese words are freely mixed with Chinese, Korean and probably other Asian-language characters — and I wish I knew what the gibberish (or secret message) translates to.

Adding to the festivities, a “cooking show” dodges the Cult Movies slant for pure Pixburgh, complete with yinzer accents that would crack cast iron, er, ahrn. Credit Ange Vesco as writer and star of this parody of culinary competition. Much praise, too, to the voice actors in a variety of roles each, plus their ensemble (live!) dubbing the movies’ new dialogue: Sheila McKenna, Amy Landis, Patrick Jordan, Jason McCune and Foley artist Skyler Sullivan. And a big hand to writers Gayle Pazerski, Brad Stephenson and Joe Lyons.

MIDNIGHT RADIO: CULT MOVIES

continues through Sat., Dec 8. 937 Liberty Ave., Downtown. $15-25. 412-381-6999 or www.bricolagepgh.org

Completing the entertainment are musical director Deana Muro; sound engineer Brendan Kepple; multimedia effects by Andrew J. Paul; stage manager Caitlin Roper; and musical guest Josh Verbanets, from the band Meeting of Important People.

Midnight Radio is for broad-minded adults only. Reveling in the raucous (not to say unsettling) political incorrectness of Cult Movie Classics, with its Asian themes, is definitely dis-orienting.

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FOR THE WEEK OF

12.0612.13.12

FOR INFORMATION ON HOW TO SUBMIT LISTINGS AND PRESS RELEASES, CALL 412.316.3342 X161.

{PHOTO COURTESY OF LISA-MARIE MAZZUCCO}

DEC. 07

Anne Akiko Meyers at Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra

+ THU., DEC. 06 {STAGE}

A special short-run production has a local hook. The Speed Queen is a critically hailed one-woman show performed

by New York-based Anne Stockton. Stockton herself adapted the work, about a death-row inmate telling her wild story of sex, drugs and crime, from the eponymous 1997 novel by Pittsburgh’s Stewart O’Nan. Three performances here are hosted

by Carnegie’s Off the Wall Productions; O’Nan and the show’s renowned director, Austin Pendleton, will attend tonight’s opening-night reception. Bill O’Driscoll 8 p.m.

Also 8 p.m. Fri., Dec. 7, and 8 p.m. Sat., Dec. 8. 25 W. Main St., Carnegie. $5-35. www.insideoffthewall.com

on fire. The New Englander uses a blowtorch as paintbrush to singe images into paper and wood. His exhibition NIGHT/ LIGHT — which collates two ongoing bodies of work, “Nocturnes” and “Narratives” — opens with tonight’s reception at James Gallery.

Traditional cityscapes of nighttime New York and Pittsburgh are rendered in the nontraditional method he’s been perfecting since the early ’90s. CS 5:30-8:30 p.m. Exhibit continues through Jan. 5. 413 S. Main St., West End. Free. 412-922-9800 or www.jamesgallery.net

{ART}

Wexford’s The Oven Pizza Co. The North Sider and University of Pittsburgh graduate is a public-affairs specialist for the U.S. Army and was deployed to Iraq in 2008. The same year, he won the Keith L. Ware Award for military journalism.

War, violence and God are key themes in his interconnected stories. Catherine Sylvain 11:30 a.m.-8:30 p.m. 2000

In the old days, prominent folk sat for oil portraits. Sonja Sweterlitsch thinks that’s still a fine way to honor those who contribute to Pittsburgh.

Beautiful Dreamers is the artist and curator’s series of largescale portraits of 16 such young women, from performers (like Joy Ike) and business people (Heather Hackett, pictured) to a doctor, a scientist and a journalist. The show at Fe Gallery opens with a reception tonight. BO 7 p.m. 4102 Butler St., Lawrenceville. Free. 412254-4038 or www.fegallery.org

DEC. 07 The Nativity: A Christmas Gift

+ FRI., DEC. 07 {WORDS}

Writer Michel Sauret is also a photographer, and the ability to capture brief yet rich instances applies to his fiction. Today, all day, Romeborn Sauret signs copies of his debut short-story collection Amidst Traffic (One Way Street Production) at

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.05/12.12.2012

Village Run Road, Wexford.

Free. 412-360-5440 or www. onewaystreetproduction.com

{ART}

If there’s an ominous undernote to Paul Chojnowski’s works, perhaps it’s because while making them he ran a constant risk of setting them

{STAGE}

Though staged annually since 1988, The Nativity: A Christmas Gift is a always bit different. The Shona Sharif African Dance and Drum Ensemble show, inspired by Langston Hughes’ musical Black Nativity, blends gospel and African dance in a joyous

sp otlight

FashionAFRICANA has been holding annual events for 11 years but has never mounted it own exhibition. This year, co-founder and executive producer Demeatria Boccella curates Glamazonia, an exhibition centered on the work of Mario Epanya. The Paris-based fashion photographer was born in Cameroon and drew global attention in 2010 when he proposed Vogue Africa to Condé Nast, complete with mock-up covers. “He has a huge following,” Boccella says. “His mission around promoting diversity in fashion is aligned with our mission of broadening the standard of beauty.” Epanya’s photography depicts traditional African ceremonial hairstyles and dress in a contemporary context. At tonight’s opening party, in the August Wilson Center for African American Culture, models will be styled similarly. Glamazonia also features work by Pittsburgh artist Vanessa German and sculptor Thad Mosley, as well as custom designs from Pittsburgh designers Kiya Tomlin and Sandra Reiman, Paris-based Senegalese designer Eva Gabarra, and FashionAFRICANA’s own pieces. Live music from Preach Freedom & Connect will precede a dance party with DJ Nate Mitchell. Epanya himself will appear for an artist talk in the August Wilson Center at 10 a.m. Sun., Dec. 8, that’s free and open to the public. Catherine Sylvain 8 p.m. (6:30 p.m. for VIP cocktail reception). Exhibition runs through March 30. 980 Liberty Ave., Downtown. $35-75 (VIP). 412-208-0249 or www.fashionafricana.com

{MUSIC}

Cooney, Jae Roberto, Jacob Ciocci, Matt Barton, Thad Kellstadt and Jim Lingo. The opening reception is tonight.

BO 6-9 p.m. 812 Liberty Ave., Downtown. Free.

412-325-7723 or www. spacepittsburgh.org

DEC. 07

NIGHT/LIGHT

If Christmas carols are getting old, try something older.

Renaissance & Baroque Society tonight hosts Apollo’s Fire, performing Sacrum Mysterium: A Celtic Christmas Vespers. The program straddles pagan and Christian musical traditions, with renaissance choral music, ancient

+ SAT., DEC. 08

+ TUE., DEC. 11 {WORDS}

The Moth StorySLAM continues tonight at the Rex Theater.

Pittsburgh’s incarnation of the national series that gets people on stage to tell short personal stories on a given theme, without notes. So hone

Art by Paul Chojnowski

version of the Bible story. This year, the story interweaves the Bethlehem tale with one about contemporary parents teaching gift-happy kids the true meaning of Christmas. Twenty performers are backed by African drumming and a small band.

The first of 10 performances at Oakland’s Alumni Hall is tonight. BO 8 p.m. Continues through Sun., Dec. 23. 4227 Fifth Ave. Oakland. $10-20. nativitypgh@gmail.com

{DANCE}

It’s dueling Nutcrackers. At the Pittsburgh Playhouse, the Conservatory Dance Company presents the first of eight performances of Point Park-based choreographer Doug Bentz’s The Jazz Nutcracker. This sassy 1983 revision, set amongst vaudeville folk, features characters like The Sugar Rum Cherry dancing to swingedup Tchaikovsky played live

by The Benny Benack Band.

Alternately, go traditional at one of 20 performances of Pittsburgh Ballet Theatre’s The Nutcracker. Nearly 200 performers enact a straight-up

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rendition of Tchaikovsky’s classic, with turn-of-the-century Pittsburgh flavor. BO Jazz Nutcracker: 8 p.m.; continues through Dec. 16 (222 Craft Ave., Oakland; $18-20; 412-3928000). The Nutcracker: 7 p.m.; continues through Dec. 30 (719 Liberty Ave., Downtown; $25.75-95.75; www.pbt.org).

where you want to be. The new group show at SPACE is described in part as: “blanket forts, cubby holes, night lights, clubhouses … munchies, diamonds, sasquatch …” You get the picture. The artist known as Ladyboy curates work by a playful bunch including Jen

{MUSIC}

Three diverse works, including two premieres, compose the Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra’s program tonight and Sunday. Leonard Slatkin conducts the PSO premiere of Haydn’s Symphony No. 68. Meanwhile, Anne Akiko Meyers solos in the premiere of PSO Composer of the Year Mason Bates’ Violin Concerto.

The program also includes Saint-Saen’s Third Symphony.

BO 8 p.m. Also 2:30 p.m.

Sun., Dec. 9. Heinz Hall, 600 Penn Ave., Downtown. $20-93. 412-392-4900 or www.pittsburghsymphony.org.

DEC. 07

With winter approaching, maybe a Romper Room is

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Beautiful Dreamers

{ART}

Michel Sauret

{ART}

Buying local is swell. But what’s new this year at Handmade Arcade? Vendors at the region’s oldest indie craft fair still offer everything from clothing and bath products to jewelry and artwork, much of it boasting upcycled, recycled and sustainable materials and techniques. But this year, the Arcade is bigger than ever, with more than 150 vendors from the region and the country packing the David L. Lawrence Convention Center.

Also new are custom tote bags from StrawberryLuna. And live music, by local indie rock band Instead of Sleeping, joins the DJs and hands-on activities.

BO 11 a.m.-7 p.m. 1000 Fort Duquesne Blvd., Downtown.

Free (Early Birdie Pass: $15). www.handmadearcade.com

Art by Sonja Sweterlitsch

{CRAFTS}

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“Superheroes as you’ve never seen them before” seems to be the premise of most new movies. At the Toonseum, it describes a new art exhibit.

The venue has stepped away from traditional comic and cartoon art to display the work of Massachusetts painter David Leblanc. New Action Evolution is Leblanc’s first solo exhibit.

His large canvases depict heroes from comics’ Golden Age through abstract expressionism. Tonight he will appear for a print-signing and reception. CS 7:30 p.m. Continues through Jan. 6. 945 Liberty Ave., Downtown. $5. 412-2320199 or www.toonseum.org

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pagan carols, folk dances and fiddle tunes. The Clevelandbased baroque orchestra has gained international renown.

It will be joined at Synod Hall by guest artists soprano soloist Meredith Hall, baritone Jesse Blumberg, guitarist and Celtic dancer Steven Player, and Montreal ensemble La Nef. CS 8 p.m. 125 N. Craig St., Oakland. $10-35. 412-361-2048 or www.rbsp.org E V E N T S

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yourself a five-minute take on the theme of “Aftermath,” put your name in a hat at the Rex and hope yours is among the 10 names drawn to present to judges and an audience.

Tonight’s judge favorites can compete at future slams, and earn a shot at bigger venues, via the New York-based Moth brand. BO 8 p.m. 1602 E. Carson St., South Side. $5 (21 and over). 412-381-6811

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STAGE & STEEL PRODUCTIONS

A MEDIEVAL

CHRISTMAS CAROL DINNER THEATER FRIDAY NOV. 30th • FRIDAY DEC. 7th FRIDAY DEC. 14th • Doors 7pm / Show 7:30pm TIC KE T S : $25 General

$20 Student/Senior

$10 Kids 12 & Under

Reservation only! STAGEANDSTEEL.COM 412-480-4758

REGULAR SHOW SAT. DEC. 1st, 8th, 15th Doors 7:30pm / Show 8pm SUN. DEC. 3rd, 9th, 16th Doors 6:30pm / Show 7pm TIC KE T S (available at door) $12 General

$10 Student/Senior

$5 Kids 12 & Under

ST. S TP PETER ETER & S ST. TP PAUL AUL H HALL ALL 220 MANSFIELD BLVD, CARNEGIE, PA 15106

TO SUBMIT A LISTING: HTTP://HAPPENINGS.PGHCITYPAPER.COM BAND NIGHT Every Thursday!

DECEMBER 6 HEAVY LEATHER ONEGIGATATIME RUSS SCHNIDER DECEMBER 13 WINTER WONDER LESQUE: BURLESQUE SHOW DECEMBER 20 PETE BUSH & THE HOI POLI SLIM FORSYTHE & THE NEW PAY DAY LOANERS, GRAND PIANO

$1.75 PBR Drafts Everyday 9-11

2204 E. CARSON ST. (412) 431-5282

412.316.3388 (FAX) + 412.316.3342 X161 (PHONE)

{ALL LISTINGS MUST BE SUBMITTED BY 9 A.M. FRIDAY PRIOR TO PUBLICATION}

THEATER ANNIE. Presented by Mon River Arts. Fri-Sun. Thru Dec. 16.

Grand Theatre, Elizabeth.

412-384-0504.

A CHRISTMAS CAROL. Dec. 6-9.

California University, California.

724-938-5943.

A CHRISTMAS STORY. The holiday classic about a child’s campaign for a special Christmas gift Thu-Sun. Thru Dec. 15.

Little Lake Theatre, Canonsburg.

724-745-6300.

A FUNNY NUNNY CHRISTMAS. Holiday cabaret dinner theater.

Fri, Sat and Sun., Dec. 9. Thru Dec. 15. Crowne Plaza Hotel, Bethel Park. 724-746-1178.

GOOD PEOPLE. A play about what contemporary Americans will do to survive. Tue-Sun. Thru Dec. 9. O’Reilly Theater, Downtown. 412-316-1600.

GRAND NIGHT FOR SINGING. Musical tribute to Rodgers & Hammerstein. WedSun. Thru Jan. 20. Cabaret at

Theater Square, Downtown.

Fri-Sun. Thru Dec. 23. Alumni 412-456-6666.

Hall, Univ. of Pittsburgh, Oakland.

IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE. 412-206-1360.

Fri, Sat. Thru Dec. 15.

ONE ACTS FOR CHARITY. Series Comtra Theatre, Cranberry. of 1-act plays written, directed & 724-591-8727. produced by current Duquesne A MEDIEVAL CHRISTMAS students. All proceeds are CAROL. A medieval donated to charity. Presented take on Dickens’ tale. by the Red Masquers.

Presented by Stage & Thru Dec. 8. Duquesne Steel Productions.

University, Uptown.

Fri-Sun. Thru 412-396-6000.

Dec. 16. SS Peter THE PEARL & THE www. per & Paul Ukrainian ROCK. New play pa pghcitym .co Orthodox Church Hall, reading. Mon., Carnegie. 412-276-9718.

Dec. 10, 7 p.m. O’Reilly MIDNIGHT RADIO: CULT Theater, Downtown.

MOVIE CLASSICS. Bricolage 412-316-1600. puts Mystery Science Theater THE SCHOOL FOR LIES. A 3000-style treatment to the freewheeling rewrite of Moliere’s movies The 36 Chambers of The Misanthrope. Thru Dec. 15.

Shaolin & Godzilla vs. Mothra.

Charity Randall Theatre, Oakland.

Thru Dec. 8. Bricolage, 412-624-PLAY. Downtown. 412-471-0999.

SISTER’S CHRISTMAS THE NATIVITY: A CHRISTMAS CATECHISM. Play by Maripat GIFT. Loosely based on the Donovan. Thu-Sun. Thru play by Langston Hughes.

Dec. 16. City Theatre, South Presented by The Shona Sharif Side. 412-431-2489.

African Dance & Drum Ensemble.

SOUTH SIDE STORIES. One-woman show portraying the dynamism of the Pittsburgh neighborhood. Tue-Sun. Thru Dec. 16. City Theatre, South Side.

412-431-2489.

TICK, TICK… BOOM! Jonathan Larson’s musical journey that led to the Broadway blockbuster, RENT. Thu-Sun. Thru Dec. 9. The Grey Box Theatre, Lawrenceville.

412-496-2194.

FULL LIST ONLINE

EVERYONE IS A CRITIC CRITIC: Winston Yin, 18, a student from Oakland EVENT: Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra performs

COMEDY THU 06

Tchaikovsky’s Fourth, Heinz Hall,

Downtown

WHEN: Fri.,

Nov. 30

My visit to the PSO is actually part of Carnegie Mellon University’s physics program. A bunch of people come and listen to experience some kind of diversity. It was a very nice night. The opening piece was very new to me: “The Mothership,” by Mason Bates. I had not heard electronica and classical music mixed together.

It was interesting but I’m more into Romantic period pieces. The highlight for me was the Mozart clarinet concerto. It is personally very important to me as I play the clarinet and that is one of my favorite pieces. There was a very nice contrast to the evening: from that very experimental beginning to a calm middle session, and then the Tchaikovsky at the end was very dramatic and very exciting. I’m not sure what distinguishes the PSO themselves in terms of style, but I thought that their choice of repertoire was very suitable.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.05/12.12.2012

COMEDY OPEN MIC W/ DEREK MINTO. Thu. Thru Dec. 13 Hambone’s, Lawrenceville.

412-681-4318.

PITTSBURGH IMPROV JAM. Thu. Thru Dec. 27 Cabaret at Theater Square, Downtown.

412-325-6769.

FRI 07

PITTSBURGH COMEDY SHOWCASE W/ MIKE WYSOCKI. Fri, 9 p.m.

Corner Cafe, South Side.

412-488-2995.

THE WRITER’S ROOM: LONG FORM IMPROV. 9:30 p.m. Steel City Improv Theater, North Side.

412-322-1000.

FRI 07 - SUN 09

ARNEZ J. Dec. 7-9 The Improv, Waterfront. 412-462-5233.

SAT 08

THE AMISH MONKEYS. Improv sketch comedy. 8 p.m. Gemini CONTINUES ON PG. 48

12/5

12/14

BAR LOUIE WATERFRONT

Visit these great locations for your chance to win a Holiday 6 pack (You + 5 friends). Winners get an exclusive invite to our Ultimate Ugly Sweater Holiday Party on 12/18 with prizes and a live performance

by Radio Tokyo.

8p-10p $1 Lite Drafts

12/8

JAILHOUSE SALOON

12/14 12/14

MONROEVILLE

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BRENTWOOD

10p-12a $2 Lite Aluminum Pints

E-TOWN ROBERT’S ROADSIDE INN BEAVER

9p-11p $2 Lite Bottles

N E W S

MILESTONE

9p-11p $2.25 Lite Bottles 12/15

HOOTERS

12/15

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10p-12a $2 Lite Bottles 12/14

10p-12a $2 Lite Bottles

10p-12a $3 Lite Aluminum Pints

SOUTHSIDE

* Ugly Sweater mandatory for chance to win!

OAKMONT TAVERN

MCFADDENS NORTH SHORE

OAKMONT

10p-12a $2 Lite Drafts

JEKYL & HYDE

9p-11p $2 Lite Bottles

12/15

9p-11p $2 Lite Bottles

SWISSVALE

12/14

BIGHAM TAVERN

SHENANIGANS WEST VIEW

MT. WASHINGTON

10p-12a $2 20oz Lite Drafts

PUB IN THE PARK

12/15

10p-12a $2 Lite Bottles

12/14

CORAOPOLIS

12/13

FAIRWAYS LOUNGE BRADDOCK HILLS

10p-12a $2 Lite 16oz Cans +

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BIG LIST, CONTINUED FROM PG. 46

Theater, Point Breeze.

412-243-5201.

THE LUPONES: MADE UP MUSICALS. 8 p.m. Steel City Improv Theater, North Side.

412-322-1000.

SCIT SOCIAL IMPROV JAM. For new & experienced improvisers. Sat, 6:30 p.m. Steel City Improv Theater, North Side.

412-322-1000.

THIS JUST IN: IMPROV COMEDY. 9:30 p.m. Steel City Improv Theater, North Side. 412-322-1000.

MON 10

COMEDY KICKOFF. Free Pizza and DJ 6-8 p.m., comedy, sketches, videos 8-9 p.m., Band 9-10 p.m., DJ till 11 p.m. Presented by Performance for People. Mon, 6 p.m. Thru Dec. 17 Rex Theater, South Side. 412-381-6811.

OPEN MIC COMEDY. Hosted by Aaron Kleiber. Mon, 9 p.m. Thru Dec. 31 Pleasure Bar, Bloomfield.

412-682-9603.

TOTALLY FREE MONDAYS. Mon, 8 p.m. Steel City Improv Theater, North Side. 412-322-1000.

TUE 11

OPEN MIC STAND UP COMEDY NITE. Hosted by Derek Minto & John Pridmore.

Tue, 9:30 p.m. Smiling Moose, South Side. 412-612-4030.

WED 12

JOKEE OAKEE. Comedy open stage hosted by Tonnochi:B. Wed Younger’s, North Side.

412-452-3267.

MIKE CANNON, BILLY PROCIDA, ADAM LUCIDI, JOSH WESSON. 8 p.m.

Club Cafe, South Side.

412-431-4950.

NYC’S FINEST: COMEDY SHOW. Mike Cannon from MTV. Feat.

Billy Procida & Adam Lucidi.

7 p.m. Club Cafe, South Side.

412-431-4950.

STAND-UP COMEDY OPEN MIC. Wed, 8 p.m. The BeerHive, Strip District. 412-904-4502.

EXHIBITS ALLEGHENY-KISKI VALLEY

HERITAGE MUSEUM. Military artifacts and exhibits on the Allegheny Valley’s industrial heritage. Tarentum.

724-224-7666.

AUGUST WILSON CENTER FOR AFRICAN AMERICAN CULTURE. The Nazi Olympics: Berlin 1936.

An exhibit exploring 1936 Olympic Games including use of propaganda, the boycott debate, history of the torch run, & the historic performance of Jesse Owens. Curated by the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum. Downtown.

412-258-2700.

BAYERNHOF MUSEUM. Large collection of automatic roll-played musical instruments and music boxes in a mansion setting. Call for appointment.

O’Hara. 412-782-4231.

KERR MEMORIAL MUSEUM. CARNEGIE MUSEUM OF ART. Tours of a restored 19th-century, Inventing the Modern World: middle-class home. Oakmont.

Decorative Arts at the World’s 412-826-9295.

Fairs, 1851–1939. Furniture, MARIDON MUSEUM. metalwork, glass, ceramics, Collection includes jade and ivory textiles, & jewelry produced by statues from China and Japan, as Herman Miller, Tiffany, more. well as Meissen porcelain. Butler.

Oakland. 412-622-3131.

724-282-0123.

CARNEGIE MUSEUM OF NATIONAL AVIARY. Home to NATURAL HISTORY. Neapolitan more than 600 birds from over Presepio. Nativity scene feat.

200 species. With classes, lectures, more than 100 human & angelic demos and more. North Side. figures, along w/ animals, 412-323-7235. accessories, & architectural NATIONALITY ROOMS. 26 elements. Empowering rooms helping to tell the story Women: Artisan Cooperatives of Pittsburgh’s immigrant past. that Transform Communities.

University of Pittsburgh. Oakland.

Folk art objects illustrating 412-624-6000. the power of women working OLD ST. LUKE’S. Pioneer church together to provide for their features 1823 pipe organ, families, educate their children, Revolutionary War graves. Scott. promote equality, & give 412-851-9212. back to their communities.

PHIPPS CONSERVATORY BugWorks. Feat. & BOTANICAL beautiful photography GARDEN. Winter of insects, amazing Flower Show & specimens, & live Light Garden. bugs! Life: A Journey . www per Feat. poinsettias, Through Time & a p ty ci pgh m evergreens, whimsical Population Impact .co lights & adornments. thru Jan., Winging It: 14 indoor rooms & 3 Experimental Gallery outdoor gardens feature About Birds thru March, exotic plants and floral displays Lord of the Crane Flies thru from around the world. Oakland.

April. Ongoing: Earth Revealed, 412-622-6914.

Dinosaurs In Their Time, more.

PHOTO ANTIQUITIES. Tintypes.

Oakland. 412-622-3131.

Photographs on polished steel CARNEGIE SCIENCE CENTER. that brought the first lower-cost, Ongoing: Buhl Digital Dome indestructible photos within price (planetarium), Miniature range of the average person.

Railroad and Village, USS North Side. 412-231-7881.

Requin submarine, and more.

PINBALL PERFECTION. Pinball North Side. 412-237-3400. museum & players club. West CARRIE FURNACE. Built in View. 412-931-4425.

1907, Carrie Furnaces 6 & 7 PITTSBURGH ZOO & PPG are extremely rare examples AQUARIUM. Home to 4,000 of pre World War II ironanimals, including many making technology. Rankin. endangered species. Highland 412-464-4020 x.21.

Park. 412-665-3639.

CENTER FOR POSTNATURAL SENATOR JOHN HEINZ HISTORY. Explore the complex HISTORY CENTER. Gridiron interplay between culture, Glory: The Best of the Pro nature and biotechnology.

Football Hall of Fame. More than Open Fridays 5-8, Saturdays 200 football artifacts, rare photos, 12-4 & Sundays 12-4. Garfield. & one-of-a-kind documents.

412-223-7698.

Ongoing: Western PA Sports COMPASS INN. Demos Museum, Clash of Empires, and and tours with costumed exhibits on local history, more. guides featuring this restored Strip District. 412-454-6000. stagecoach stop. Ligonier.

SOLDIERS & SAILORS 724-238-4983.

MEMORIAL HALL. Military CONNEY M. KIMBO GALLERY. museum dedicated to honoring University of Pittsburgh Jazz military service members since Exhibit: Memorabilia & Awards the Civil War through artifacts from the International Hall of & personal mementos. Oakland.

Fame. Oakland. 412-648-7446.

412-621-4253.

DEPRECIATION LANDS WEST OVERTON MUSEUMS. MUSEUM. Small living Learn about distilling and history museum celebrating the coke-making in this pre-Civil settlement and history of the War industrial village. Scottdale.

Depreciation Lands. Allison Park.

724-887-7910.

412-486-0563.

WILDCARD. Kreepy Doll FALLINGWATER. Tour the Opening. Kreepy Doll installation famed Frank Lloyd Wright house.

by Daniel Baxter. Lawrenceville.

Ohiopyle. 724-329-8501.

412-224-2651.

FIRST PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH. Tours of 13 Tiffany stained-glass windows.

Downtown. 412-471-3436.

FRICK ART & HISTORICAL CENTER. Ongoing: tours of HOLIDAY GIFT SHOP. Clayton, the Frick estate, with Thru Dec. 9 Wilkins School classes, car & carriage museum.

Community Center, Swissvale.

Point Breeze. 412-371-0600.

412-244-8458.

FULL LIST ONLINE

HOLIDAY

THU 06 - SUN 09

CONTINUES ON PG. 49

48

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.05/12.12.2012

VISUAL

ART Work by Donnie Toomer, from If These Trees Could Talk at Artform Gallery

NEW THIS WEEK

28 WEST SECOND GALLERY & STUDIO SPACE. Deck the Halls: Annual Holiday Exhibition.

Group show. Opening reception: Dec. 6, 6 p.m. Greensburg.

724-205-9033.

ARTISTS IMAGE RESOURCE. Printwork 2012. National juried print exhibition feat. over 20 artists. Opening reception: Dec. 7, 7-9 p.m. North Side.

412-321-8664.

AUGUST WILSON CENTER FOR AFRICAN AMERICAN CULTURE. GLAMAZONIA. Photography exhibition curated

by Demeatria Boccella, paying tribute to African beauty & hairstyles by photographer Mario Epanya. Opening Dec. 8, 8 p.m. Downtown.

412-208-0249.

BFG CAFE Holiday Arts & Crafts show. Dec. 7, 6-9 p.m. Garfield.

412-661-2345.

FE GALLERY. Beautiful Dreamers: A Celebration of Pittsburgh Women. Portraits

by Sonja Sweterlitsch. Opening reception: Dec. 7, 7-11 p.m.

Lawrenceville. 412-254-4038.

GALLERIE CHIZ. Crossing Borders. Work by Peter Calaboyias, Manuela Holban, Japa, Marina Mozhayeva, more. Artist reception: Dec. 7, 5:30-8 p.m. Shadyside.

412-441-6005.

IMAGEBOX. Wanderlust.

International Travel Photography Exhibit by John Ubinger. Opening reception:

Dec. 7, 5 p.m. Part of Unblurred.

Garfield. 412-592-8885.

IRMA FREEMAN CENTER FOR IMAGINATION. Dolls3.

Artistic doll interpretations by Joyce Compton, Emily Eckel & Chris Fondi. Opening reception: Dec. 7. 7-10 p.m. Garfield.

412-924-0634.

JAMES GALLERY. NIGHT/ LIGHT. Fire Drawings by Paul Chojnowski. Opening reception: Dec.7, 5:30-7:30 p.m. West End. 412-922-9800.

MENDELSON GALLERY. Mark Gualtieri & Friends: A Linear Conversation. Opening reception: Dec. 7, 6-8 p.m.

Shadyside. 412-361-8664.

MICHAEL HERTRICH ART & FRAME. Out of the Woods.

Paintings by Patrick Ruane.

Opening reception: Dec. 7, 69 p.m. South Side. 412-431-3337.

MODERNFORMATIONS GALLERY. Ghosts, etc. Work

by David Bernabo, Ben Filio, Mark Mangini, Talon Smith, Emily Zuzack, more. Opening reception: Dec. 7, 7-10 p.m.

Garfield. 412-362-0274.

THE MR. ROBOTO PROJECT. Cowboy House Presents. Feat. work by Fred Frances, Jeff Gibbons, Matt Glove, & Mike Madsen. Opening reception Dec. 7th, 7-10 p.m. Part of Unblurred. Bloomfield.

PANZA GALLERY. New Classic Images. Silk screens & limited edition prints by Dave Klug. Opening Dec. 8. Millvale.

412-821-0959.

PENN AVENUE ARTS DISTRICT. Unblurred Gallery Crawl. Dec 7, 7-10 p.m. Garfield.

412-441-6147-ext.-7.

SHAW GALLERIES. Summer/ Fall. Pastel Paintings by Diane Grguras. Opening reception: Dec. 7, 5-8 p.m. Downtown.

412-281-4884.

THE TOONSEUM. New Action Evolution. Impressionistic superhero paintings by David Leblanc. Opening reception Dec. 8. Downtown. 412-232-0199.

ONGOING

707 PENN GALLERY. After Dark. Mysterious & evocative images by Carolina LoyolaGarcia & Colter Harper.

Downtown. 412-325-7017.

AMERICAN JEWISH MUSEUM. Radiant Circles: Ruth E. Levine’s Generous Life. Key work from Levine’s various artistic stages.

Squirrel Hill. 412-521-8010.

ANDY WARHOL MUSEUM. Deborah Kass: Before & Happily Ever After. A major mid-career retrospective of paintings, photographs & sculpture.

Warhol:Headlines. A collection of works by Warhol based largely on headlines from tabloid news. Jeremy Kost: Friends w/ Benefits. Photography. I Just Want to Watch: Warhol’s Film, Video and Television. Long-term exhibition of Warhol’s film & video work.

Permanent collection. Artwork and artifacts by the famed Pop Artist. North Side. 412-237-8300.

CONTINUES ON PG. 50

THU 06 - WED 12

[HOLIDAY]

HOLIDAY CO-OP. Showcase of unique, handmade works for sale. Thru Jan. 6, 2013 709 Penn Gallery, Downtown.

412-471-6070.

HOLIDAY LIGHT & MUSIC SHOW. Thru Jan. 2, 2013 Pittsburgh Technical Institute, Oakdale. 1-800-784-9675.

PEOPLES GAS HOLIDAY MARKET. Entertainment, shopping, more. Thru Dec. 23 Market Square, Downtown.

412-471-1511.

3 NIGHTS ONLY!

FRI 07

EQUITABLE GAS FESTIVAL OF LIGHTS. Crafts, live nativity, ice carving, fireworks, more.

Presented by La Roche College & the Sisters of Divine Providence.

3 p.m. LaRoche College, Wexford.

412-536-1069.

HOLIDAY ARTS & CRAFTS SHOW. 6-9 p.m. BFG Cafe, Garfield. 412-661-2345.

SAT 08

9TH ANNUAL COOKIE WALK. 10 a.m.-2 p.m. SS Peter & Paul Ukrainian Orthodox Church Hall, Carnegie. 412-432-6919.

COOKIE WALK. 9 p.m.

Waverly Presbyterian Church, Regent Square. 412-242-0643.

HOLIDAY BROWN BAG CONCERT. Performance of holiday classics, new & old.

11:30 a.m. Pittsburgh Opera, Strip District. 412-281-0912 x 0.

HOLIDAY CRAFT & VENDOR SHOW. 10 a.m.-3 p.m.

Resurrection Baptist Church, Braddock. 412-563-4400.

“MAD” ABOUT CHRISTMAS. 1960s-themed Christmas party. 7 p.m. Broughton Fire Hall, South Park. 412-833-5585.

MERRY, MERRY ART MARKET & FUNDRAISER. Original paintings by South Hills artists, raffles, music, more. Benefits South Hills arts projects.

9 a.m.-9 p.m. Schoolhouse Art Center, Bethel Park.

412-835-9898.

ONYX WOMAN FOR THE HOLIDAYS MARKETPLACE. 11 a.m.-3:30 p.m.

Hosanna House, Wilkinsburg.

412-731-5159.

SAT 08 - SUN 09

CHRISTMAS AT THE VILLAGE. Christmas carols, children’s activities, more.

Dec. 8-9 Old Economy Village, Ambridge. 724-266-4500.

HANDMADE HOLIDAY: CARDS & ORNAMENTS WORKSHOP. Dec. 8-9, 1-4 p.m. Pittsburgh Center for Creative Reuse, Homewood.

412-473-0100.

IT’S A USO CHRISTMAS. Swingin’ Christmas Revue.

Dec. 8-9 Strand Theater, Zelienople. 724-742-0400.

MAKE YOUR OWN ORNAMENTS & GLASS SALE. Sat, Sun. Thru Dec. 16 Vessel Studio Glass, South Side.

412-779-2471.

AMATEUR NITE: Wednesday, Dec. 5 XXXmas Matinee Party Shows All Day & Night, Noon til ??

The Pittsburgh Opera’s Resident Artists serve as ambassadors to the community, bringing musicto those who might not attend a full-scale opera production. Saturday, they’ll swap traditionally operatic pieces for familiar seasonal carols at their annual Holiday Brown Bag Concert. Bring your family, your friends and a lunch to the free, kid-friendly performance.

11:30 a.m. Sat., Dec. 8. Pittsburgh Opera Headquarters, 2425 Liberty Ave., Strip District. Call 412-281-0912 x0 or visit www.pittsburghopera.org.

SUN 09

CANDLELIGHT CHRISTMAS. Fundraiser dinner. Harmony Museum, Harmony.

888-821-4822.

THE CHRISTMAS BUNNY BENEFIT SCREENING & SILENT AUCTION. Benefits Rabbit Wranglers rescue organization.

1-5 p.m. Hollywood Theater, Dormont. 412-580-6068.

TOMASEEN FOLEY’S “A CELTIC CHRISTMAS”. Recreation of a night before Christmas in an Irish farmhouse. Feat. dancing, live music, more. 3 p.m. Washington & Jefferson College, Washington.

724-223-6546.

DANCE FRI 07 - SUN 09

THE NUTCRACKER. Presented by the Carnegie Performing Arts Center. Fri-Sun. Thru Dec. 9 Andrew Carnegie Free Library Music Hall, Carnegie.

412-279-8887.

THE NUTCRACKER Presented by the Pittsburgh Ballet Theatre.

Fri-Sun and Thu., Dec. 20.

Thru Dec. 30 Benedum Center, Downtown. 412-456-6666.

SAT 08 - SUN 09

THE NUTCRACKER BALLET. W/ Westmoreland Symphony Orchestra & Laurel Ballet.

Dec. 8-9 Palace Theatre, Greensburg. 724-836-8000.

FUNDRAISERS THU 06 - WED 12

MISTER ROGER’S SWEATER DRIVE. Collecting new & gently

used sweaters. Thru Dec. 18 Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058.

FRI 07

PITTSBURGH SKI CLUB MAGICAL HOLIDAY PARTY & 75TH ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION. Dinner, dancing, more. 6:30 p.m.

Embassy Suites Hotel, Coraopolis.

412-951-7551.

TASTE OF AFRICA. Food, dance & more. Benefits the Cameroon Football Development Program.

6 p.m. Union Project, Highland Park. 304-281-5649.

SAT 08

JINGLE BELL RUN/WALK. Benefits the Arthritis Foundation. Begins at The Great Lawn, North Shote.

7:30 a.m. 412-250-3342.

A NIGHT OF DRAG QUEENS, DRAG KINGS & BURLESQUE. Benefits The Ali Forney Center in NYC. 10:30 p.m. Blue Moon, Lawrenceville. 412-781-1119.

SUN 09

BOOK ‘EM BOOKS TO PRISONERS WORK PARTY. Read & code letters, pick books, pack ‘em or database ‘em!

Sundays 4-7 p.m. or by appt.

Thomas Merton Center, Garfield.

412-361-3022.

LIGHT UP THE NIGHT. Gala benefiting the Chabad of the South Hills Jewish Center for Living & Learning. Feat. performance by violinist Andres Cardenes. 6 p.m. Pittsburgh Marriot City Center, Downtown.

412-344-2424.

December 14 NEXT: Super Star Pole Dancer

Farrah Frost DECEMBER 11-15

WED 12

135 9th Street 412-281-7703 www.blushexotic.com

ANNUAL AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL WRITEA-THON. Candle-lighting ceremony & letter writing for victims of human rights abuses. 5:30-8:30 p.m. Calvary Episcopal Church, Shadyside.

412-661-0120.

DOWNTOWN PITTSBURGH

POLITICS THU 06

GREEN PARTY MEETING. First Thu of every month, 7 p.m.

Citizen Power, Squirrel Hill.

412-231-1581.

LITERARY THU 06

ENGLISH LEARNERS’ BOOK CLUB. For advanced ESL students. Presented in cooperation w/ the Greater Pittsburgh Literacy Council.

Thu, 1 p.m. Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon.

412-531-1912.

THE HOUR AFTER HAPPY HOUR WRITER’S WORKSHOP. Young writers & recent graduates looking for additional feedback on their work. Thu The Big Idea Bookstore & Cafe, Bloomfield.

412-687-4323.

PITTSBURGH WRITES. Weekly writer’s workshop. Thu Crazy Mocha Coffee Company, Sewickley. 412-708-3312.

Y HOLIDA S D R A C T F I G $10 FREE WITH EVERY $50 YOU BUY!

PLAN YOUR HOLIDAY PARTY NOW! CALL US TO BOOK.

FRI 07

CHRISTIAN AUTHOR BOOK SIGNING. Michel Sauret, author of Amidst Traffic. The Oven Pizza Co., Wexford. 724-799-8750.

1060 Settlers Ridge Center Drive Robinson Township • 412.788.0777

CONTINUES ON PG. 51

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VISUAL ART

HOLIDAY PARTY EAT, DRINK & GET MERRY

WED. DECEMBER 19TH COMPLIMENTRY FOOD & DRINKS

CHAMPAGNE ROOM GIVEAWAYS & MORE WIN FREE ADMISSION FOR ONE YEAR PARTY STARTS AT 9PM

LADIES

MILITARY MONDAYS 2 FOR 1 TUESDAYS EVERY SATURDAY

BRING IN YOUR MILITARY ID FOR FREE ADMISSION ALL NIGHT LONG! 2 PEOPLE GET IN FOR THE PRICE OF 1 THE MEN OF CLUB EROTICA SHOW STARTS AT 9PM!

FREE DRINKS! FREE LIMO PICKUP TO THE CLUB! CLUB HOURS: SUN-TUES: 7PM- 2AM WED-SAT: 7PM- 4AM

18 AND OVER

The best place for bachelor or bachelorette parties!

824 Island Ave. McKees Rocks 50

(412) 771-8872

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.05/12.12.2012

cluberoticapittsburgh.com

CONTINUED FROM PG. 48

ARTFORM GALLERY & TATTOO. If These Trees Could Talk. Work by Donnie Toomer.

Lower Burrell. 724-212-3153.

BARCO LAW LIBRARY. Preta.

New paintings by Joshua Nickerson. Oakland.

BE GALLERIES. In the Words of Daria Sandburg. Sculpture & jewelry. Lawrenceville.

412-687-2606.

BIDDLE’S E ESCAPE. The Collective W Works of Joyce Werwie Perry.

Perr Oil & knife paintings. Re Regent Square.

412-999-900 412-999-9009.

BLUE OLIVE GALLERIES. All Local Art Artists. Multi media work. Artist in the Window.

Sertum Bota Botanicum: Original Botanical Illu Illustratons. Frazier.

724-275-700 724-275-7001.

BOKSENBA BOKSENBAUM FINE ARTS GALLERY. D Drawings & Paintings.

Work by Steve Ste Boksenbaum, Lorin Boksenbaum Boksen & Friends.

Squirrel Hill. 412-421-3212.

BOULEVAR BOULEVARD GALLERY. A Little Bit of Everyt Everything. Multimedia work by Ma Mary Ann Saccomanno & Autumn D Delellis Stankay.

Verona. 412-828-1031.

412CARNEGIE M MUSEUM OF ART. Whistler & Re Rebellion in the Art World. An exhibit ex feat. Whistler’s aesthetically radical prints. White Cube, Green Maze: New Art L d 6 innovative Landscapes. institutions dedicated to the experience of culture & nature. Cory Arcangel: Masters. Repurposed readymade digital technology.

Oakland. 412-622-3131.

CATHOLIC CHARITIES BUILDING. Park Journeys: Yellowstone. Work by Manchester Craftsmen’s Guild students. Downtown.

412-456-6999.

CHATHAM UNIVERSITY. Culture in Context. African Art from the Olkes Collection.

Shadyside. 412-365-1232.

CLAY PLACE AT STANDARD. Ceramic Artists of Kentucky.

Group show curated by Joe Molinaro & Elmer Craig.

Carnegie. 412-489-5240.

CRAZY MOCHA COFFEE COMPANY. Prints by Justseeds Artists Cooperative. Bloomfield.

412-681-5225.

EASTSIDE GALLERY. Ceramic Creatures. Work

by Bernie Pintar. East Liberty.

412-465-0140.

FEIN ART GALLERY. New Work 2012. Pittsburgh Print Group exhibit. North Side.

412-321-6816.

FILMMAKERS GALLERIES. Marcellus Shale Documentary Project. More than 50 photographic images which tell the stories of Pennsylvanians affected by the Marcellus Shale gas industry. Curated by Laura Domencic. Oakland.

412-681-5449.

FIREBORN STUDIOS & GALLERY. Holiday Pottery Sale.

Through Dec. 24. South Side.

412-488-6835.

FRICK ART & HISTORICAL CENTER. Impressions of Interiors. Paintings by Walter Gay. Permanent collection of European Art. Point Breeze.

412-371-0600.

GALERIE WERNER, THE MANSIONS ON FIFTH. Moods of Pittsburgh II: Expired Mills, Inspired Landscapes. Group show. Oakland. 412-716-1390.

THE GALLERY 4. The Sepia Show. New Works by Anthony Purcell. Shadyside. 412-363-5050.

GALLERY ON 43RD STREET. Small Works from Norway.

Paintings by Dylan CridtchfieldSales. Lawrenceville. 412-683-6488.

GAY & LESBIAN COMMUNITY CENTER. Royal Portrait Show.

Drag portraits. Downtown.

412-422-0114.

GLENN GREENE STAINED GLASS STUDIO INC. Original Glass Art by Glenn Greene.

Exhibition of new work, recent work & older work. Holiday open studio event Dec. 8-9, 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Regent Square.

412-243-2772.

HUNT INSTITUTE FOR BOTANICAL DOCUMENTATION. Portraits of a Garden, Brooklyn Botanic Garden Florilegium.

Showcasing watercolors & drawings of 48 American botanical artists, archiving plants growing at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden. Oakland. 412-268-2434.

LA PRIMA ESPRESSO. Paintings/ Prints of Italy. Prints of Vince Ornato’s oil paintings of Italy.

Strip District. 412-281-1922.

LAKEVUE ATHLETIC CLUB. Pop-Up Gallery. Work by a variety of artists. Valencia.

724-316-9326.

LAWRENCE HALL GALLERY. Landscape Expressions. Work

by Lynn Fero. Downtown.

412-392-8008.

MANCHESTER CRAFTSMEN’S GUILD. Flat Files. Illustration & cartoon art by Wayno. North Side. 412-322-1773.

MATTRESS FACTORY. Feminist and.. New work by Julia Cahill, Betsy Damon, Parastou Forouhar, Loraine Leeson, Ayanah Moor, & Carrie Mae Weems. Ongoing Installations.

Works by Turrell, Lutz, Kusama, Anastasi, Highstein, Wexler & Woodrow. North Side.

412-231-3169.

MILLER GALLERY AT CARNEGIE MELLON UNIVERSITY. Imperfect Health: The Medicalization of Architecture. Feat. photographs, sculpture, architectural models & drawings, that together examine the relationships between design & health.

Oakland. 412-268-4754.

MORGAN CONTEMPORARY GLASS GALLERY. Cheers, Salute, L’chaim To The Next 50!

Group show feat. Ellen Abbott

& Marc Leva, Alex Bernstein, Judi Charlson, more. Shadyside.

412-441-5200.

OLD ECONOMY VILLAGE. Faces & Places: Photographs of Old Economy. Never before seen photography from the late 19th & early 20th centuries.

Ambridge. 724-266-4500.

PHOTO ANTIQUITIES. The History of Photography. Plus preservation and education exhibits. Shantytown - The Ed Salamony Photographs.

Experience the Depression in Pittsburgh’s shantytown through this historic photographic documentary. North Side.

412-231-7881.

PICTURESQUE PHOTOGRAPHY & GIFTS. Photography by Brenda Knoll.

Lawrenceville. 412-688-0240.

PITTSBURGH CENTER FOR THE ARTS. White Show: Subtlety in the Age of Spectacle. Group show feat. Jaq Belcher, David Burke, Ellen Carey, Mark Franchino, Jane Haskell, Marietta Hoferer, more.

Romancing the Tone. Group show feat. Lenka Clayton, Corey Escoto, Rachel E Foster, David Leggett, Rebecca Mir & Sayward Schoonmaker. Small Step Giant Leap. Group show feat. members of the Keystone West artist collective. Shadyside.

412-361-0873.

PITTSBURGH GLASS CENTER. American Idols. Exhibition by John Moran feat. glass busts of all 43 U.S. presidents. Friendship.

412-365-2145.

SCHOOLHOUSE ART CENTER. South Arts Winter Show. Feat. life sized owl carved by wood sculptor George Nichol, paintings by local artists.

Bethel Park. 412-835-9898.

SILVER EYE CENTER FOR PHOTOGRAPHY. No Job No Home No Peace No Rest.

Installation by Will Steacy.

South Side. 412-431-1810.

THE SOCIETY FOR CONTEMPORARY CRAFT. Bridge 12. Work by Melissa Cameron, Betty Vera, & Kevin Snipes. Strip District.

412-261-7003 x 12.

UNSMOKE ART SPACE. Sweetness & Light. A collaborative installation by Keith Lemley & Taryn McMahon.

Braddock. 415-518-9921.

WESTMORELAND MUSEUM OF AMERICAN ART. Your Art Needs You. 177 faded or damaged works which visitors can adopt, funding restoration.

Born of Fire: The Valley Work.

Greensburg. 724-837-1500.

WOOD STREET GALLERIES. The City & the City: Artwork by London Writers. Visual art by authors of experimental poetry, fiction, history & geography, exploring new ways to combine literature & art in an examination of the modern city. Downtown.

412-471-5605.

BIG LIST, CONTINUED FROM PG. 49

[LECTURES]

COFFEE, TEA & TEENS. Discussion group for parents of teens.

Registration requested. First Fri of every month, 10 a.m.-12 p.m.

North Hills Youth Ministry Counseling Center, West View.

412-366-1300 x 25.

LITTLE PEEPERS: MUNCHKINS MONDAYS. Story telling and bird programs. Second Mon of every month National Aviary, North Side. 412-323-7235.

TUE 11

TUESDAYS WITH TESS. Tue, 10 a.m. Penguin Bookshop, Sewickley. 412-741-3838.

SAT 08

NATACHA WIMMER. An American translator reading from her translation of Chilean author Roberto Bolaño’s novel, Woes of the True Policeman. 7 p.m. City of Asylum, North Side. 412-323-0278.

PITTSBURGH WRITERS PROJECT - ROUNDTABLE DISCUSSIONS. Second Sat of every month, 10 a.m.12 p.m. Green Tree Public Library, Green Tree. 412-921-9292.

OUTSIDE FRI 07

WISE WALK. 1-mile walk around Oakland. Fri, 10:30 a.m. Thru Jan. 25 Carnegie Library, Oakland.

412-622-3151.

SAT 08

STEP INTO SNOWSHOES. Snowshoeing/skiing every Sat. w/ at least 4” of snow on the ground.

Call Friday to confirm. Sat. Thru March 30 Jennings Environmental Center, Slippery Rock. 724-794-6011.

TUE 11

JENNA SZYPULSKI. Book launch for Fully Loaded, Automatic.

7 p.m. University of Pittsburgh at Greensburg. 724-836-7481.

WED 12

CARNEGIE KNITS & READS. Informal knitting session.

Wed, 5 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3116.

COOKBOOK RELEASE TASTING PARTY. Food to CELEBRATE. Recipes to REMEMBER.. Friends to FIGHT BACK. Presented by The Relay For Life of Mt. Lebanon.

Benefits the American Cancer Society. relayforlife.org 4-8 p.m.

Mount Lebanon Public Library, Mt. Lebanon. 412-531-1912.

KIDSTUFF THU 06

GIANT EAGLE CHILD DEVELOPMENT SERIES: GROWING UP HEALTHY! 1 p.m.

Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058.

THU 06 - SUN 09

GLOW: GLOW CATCHER. Assemble a collection of colorful, translucent shapes that float in the light. Thru Dec. 9, 10 a.m.-4:30 p.m.

Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058.

THU 06 - WED 12

BACKYARD EXHIBIT. Musical swing set, sandbox, solar-powered instruments, more. Ongoing Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058.

CHARLIE & KIWI’S EVOLUTIONARY ADVENTURE. Join Charlie as he travels back to the Age of Dinosaurs to discover how evolution works. Feat. story theater & discovery area. Presented

by Commonwealth Connections Academy. Tue-Sun. Thru May 12 Carnegie Museum of Natural History, Oakland. 412-622-3131.

GLOW: FLUORESCENT PAINTING & SILKSCREENS. Create w/ fluorescent colors in the Silk Screen & Painting areas of the Studio. Thru Dec. 31, 10 a.m.-4:30 p.m. Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side.

412-322-5058.

MISSING LINKS (THE RAINBOW JUMPY). Bounce, jump, roll, run &

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For Patrick McGovern — an archeologist sometimes called the “Indiana Jones of Ancient Ales, Wines and Extreme Beverages” — the history of fermented drinks is closely linked to the narrative of civilization. In a lecture this week, “Uncorking the Past,” the University of Pennsylvania professor explores the long history of brewing, and its relationship to all aspects of human history, from a bimolecular archaeological standpoint. A beer tasting follows. 7:30 p.m. Thu., Dec. 6. Pittsburgh Theological Seminary, 616 N. Highland Ave., East Liberty. Free. Call 412-924-1395 or visit www.pts.edu. walk through a 30-foot inflatable “jumpy” art piece created by Felipe Dulzaides. On loan from The New Children’s Museum, San Diego CA. Thru Feb. 3, 2013 Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side. 412-322-5058.

TOUGH ART. Interactive artworks feat. John Pena, Scott Andrew, Jonathan Armistead, Jeremy Boyle, Kevin Clancy & Will Schlough.

Thru Jan. 13, 2013 Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, North Side.

412-322-5058.

FRI 07

EVENING ED-VENTURES: A NIGHT IN THE TROPICS. Tropical-themed science camp.

Ages 6-9. 6:30-9:30 p.m. Phipps Conservatory & Botanical Garden, Oakland. 412-441-4442 x 3925.

SAT 08

CHILDREN’S HOLIDAY GINGERBREAD CLASS. Assemble & decorate gingerbread houses w/ pastry chef, James Wroblewski.

10:30 a.m. Fairmont Pittsburgh, Downtown. 412-773-8911.

COLD WEATHER SURVIVAL. Learn how to stay active & eat healthy indoors & out. 11 a.m.2 p.m. Carnegie Science Center, North Side. 412-237-3400.

FREE COMMUNITY ORCHESTRA FOR FAMILIES. All levels of

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PORKY OLDIES DANCE. First Thu of every month and Last Tue of every month Brentwood VFW Post 1810, Brentwood. 412-881-9934.

RENAISSANCE DANCE GUILD. Learn a variety of dances from the 15-17th centuries. Porter Hall, Room A18A. Thu, 8 p.m. Carnegie Mellon University, Oakland.

412-567-7512.

UNCORKING THE PAST: THE BIOMOLECULAR ARCHAEOLOGY OF WINES, BEERS, & EXTREME BEVERAGES. Registration is required for the beer tasting. 7:30 p.m. Pittsburgh Theological Seminary, East Liberty.

412-924-1395.

WEST COAST SWING. Swing dance lessons for all levels.

Thu, 7 p.m. Pittsburgh Dance Center, Bloomfield. 412-681-0111.

FRI 07

TUE 11

SURVIVAL BASICS. Tue, 3-4:30 p.m. Schenley Park, Oakland. 412-477-4677.

WED 12

WEDNESDAY MORNING WALK. Naturalist-led, rain or shine. Wed Beechwood Farms, Fox Chapel.

412-963-6100.

OTHER STUFF

CMU SCHOOL OF ART OPEN STUDIO DAY. Art sale, studio tours, video screenings, food & drink, more. 3rd & 4th floors, College of Fine Arts. 5-9 p.m.

Carnegie Mellon University, Oakland. 412-268-2000.

EVOLUTIONARY ART FAIRE. Holistic venue of artists, healers, crafters, performers, more.

6-10 p.m. Garfield Artworks, Garfield. 412-361-2262.

HOLIDAY HOPS & HOPPERS. Beer tasting w/ free-roaming shelter rabbits. 7-8:30 p.m.

THU 06

Animal Friends, Ohio Township.

412-847-7055.

LUBE IDOL. American Idol-style singing contest.

Fri, 10 p.m. Thru Jan. 18 Quaker Steak & Lube, Cranberry.

724-778-9464.

RAINBOW RISING COFFEE HOUSE. For gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered individuals and friends. Music, games, movies, entertainment and more. Unitarian Universalist Congregation, Smithton. First Fri of every month 724-872-5056.

FRI 07 - SUN 08

HOLIDAY GLASS SALE. Make your own ornaments on Dec. 8, 10 a.m.-4 p.m.

Dec. 7-9 Pittsburgh Glass Center, Friendship. 412-365-2145.

OPEN STUDIO SALE. Mosaic, jewelry, paintings, ceramics. Fri-Sun. Thru Dec. 9 Stevo’s Studio, Squirrel Hill.

412-431-3390.

STEEL CITY CON. Toy, comic & pop culture convention. Special guests: Louis Gossett Jr., Peter Mayhew, Sgt. Slaughter, more. Dec. 7-9 Monroeville Convention Center, Monroeville.

SAT 08

4TH ANNUAL SLINGSHOT ORGANIZER RELEASE PARTY & VARIETY SHOW. 6 p.m. Artisan, Garfield. 412-687-4323.

CONTINUES ON PG. 52

ARTIST TALK W/ ADAM ROBINSON CRISCUOLO. Also feat. live music by Tim Ball. 7 p.m.

The Brew House, South Side.

321-271-1949.

CITY DHARMA. Soto Zen orchestra instruments are invited.

Meditation. jisen@deepspringzen.

Parents are invited to join & play w/ org Thu, 6:30-8:15 p.m. their children. Sat, 3-4:30 p.m. Thru Church of the Redeemer, May 18 East Liberty Presbyterian Squirrel Hill.

Church, East Liberty. 412-441-3800 x 11.

GEEKS RULE! Feat. Geek TV, JEWELRY MAKING. Make Geeks Game Night, Dr. Sketchy your own jewelry or keychain w/ night, Toons & Brews, Yoda Yoga, Jennifer Shoaf. 10 a.m.-1 p.m.

Geek Show & Tell, more. Every Children’s Museum of Pittsburgh, other Thu, 7:30 p.m. Thru North Side. 412-322-5058.

Dec. 13 The ToonSeum, RAG DOLL WORKSHOP W/ Downtown.

JOYCE COMPTON. Make 412-232-0199. your own rag doll from GLOBALPITTSBURGH old t-shirts, pillow 1ST THURSDAY cases, old buttons & NETWORKING EVENT. beads, more. Ages 6+. www. per pa Meet visiting global 1-3 p.m. Irma Freeman pghcitym .co delegations & mingle Center for Imagination, with many of the Garfield. 412-924-0634. region’s international entrepreneurs & innovators Feat. holiday dress & customs BEAUTY & THE BEAST from around the world. AVA HOLIDAY. Sat, Sun. Thru Bar & Lounge, East Liberty.

Dec. 23 Gemini Theater, Point 412-363-8277.

Breeze. 412-243-5201.

INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S SANTA TROLLEY. Trolley ride ASSOCIATION OF PITTSBURGH. w/ Santa, crafts, more. Sat, Sun. Social, cultural club of American/ Thru Dec. 16 Pennsylvania international women. Thu First Trolley Museum, Washington.

Baptist Church, Oakland. iwap.

724-228-9256. pittsburgh@gmail.com.

MAKENIGHT. Create keepsake items, feast on local artisan foods BROWN BAG LUNCH & specialty cocktails, more. Ages BUNCH. A lunchtime story for 21+. 6-9 p.m. Children’s Museum kids ages 3-6. Mon, 12:30 p.m. of Pittsburgh, North Side.

Penguin Bookshop, Sewickley.

412-322-5058.

412-741-3838.

FULL LIST ONLINE

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Monday, December 31st 10pm-4am

Reservation ONLY! To book call 412-471-5764 or email: info@clubcontroversy.com www.clubcontroversy.com 1635 W. Carson St., Pittsburgh, PA 15219 E V E N T S

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BIG LIST, CONTINUED FROM PG. 51

make a real connection Call Livelinks.

The hottest place to meet the coolest people.

Try it Free!

412.566.1861 Ahora en Español 18+

www.livelinks.com

CULTURAL TRUST SECOND SATURDAY WORKSHOP. Trust Education & Community Engagement. 11 a.m.-2 p.m.

Trust Arts Education Center, Downtown.

KOREAN FOR BEGINNERS. Korean grammar & basic conversation. Sat, 1 p.m.

Carnegie Library, Oakland, Oakland. 412-622-3151.

KOREAN II. For those who already have a basic understanding of Korean & are interested in increasing proficiency. Sat Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151.

SATURDAY NIGHT SALSA CRAZE. Free lessons, followed by dancing. Sat, 10 p.m. La Cucina Flegrea, Downtown. 412-708-8844.

SCOTTISH COUNTRY DANCING. Lessons 7-8 p.m., social dancing follows. No partner needed.

Mon, 7 p.m. and Sat, 7 p.m. Grace Episcopal Church, Mt. Washington.

412-683-5670.

SECOND SATURDAY AT THE SPINNING PLATE. Art exhibits w/ various musical, literary & artistic performances. Second Sat of every month Spinning Plate Gallery, Friendship. 412-441-0194.

SPANISH CONVERSATION GROUP. Friendly, informal. Union Project cafe. Sat, 3:30-5:30 p.m.

Union Project, Highland Park.

412-362-6108.

SWING CITY. Learn & practice swing dancing skills. Sat, 8 p.m.

Wightman School, Squirrel Hill.

412-759-1569.

SUN 09

AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL HUMAN RIGHTS CAFE. Weekly letter writing event. Sun, 4-6 p.m. Panera Bread, Oakland.

412-683-3727.

ARABIC FOR BEGINNERS. Second and Third Sun of every month Carnegie Library, Oakland.

412-622-3151.

[VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITY]

SOCKS FOR SENIORS

Help older folks stay warm this winter by getting involved with Socks for Seniors. Now though Dec. 23, the organization — which collects and distributes socks to people in nursing homes and shelters across the country — is seeking individuals and groups of volunteers to organize sock drives. Visit www.socksforseniors.com for more information.

ENGLISH COUNTRY DANCE. 7:15-10 p.m. Friends Meeting House, Oakland. 412-535-2078.

FASHIONAFRICANA ARTIST TALK. Feat. Mario Epanya, Kiya Tomlin, & Vanessa German. 10 a.m.

August Wilson Center for African American Culture, Downtown.

412-208-0249.

FROM PLANNING TO CANNING GARDENING CLASS. Fourth and Second Sun of every month Pittsburgh Public Market, Strip District. 412-281-4505.

SHAPE-SHIFTING W/ URANUS & PLUTO: A STAR GAZER’S VIEW. w/ astrologer Donna Greco.

1:30-3 p.m. Chatham University, Shadyside. 412-462-4200.

STEELERS TAILGATE PARTY. Silkscreen printing, create LED glowing stickers, more. Warhol’s Rosa Villa Lot, Gen. Robinson & Sandusky Sts, North Side. 11 a.m.1 p.m. 412-237-8300.

MON 10

$2 WELL DRINKS 10PM - MIDNIGHT

2-4-1 LAP DANCES

THE DEN. Second and Fourth Mon of every month Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151.

GIRLS’ NIGHT OUT: FANTASTIC FELINES. Cat painting workshop.

Ages 21+. 6:30-9:30 p.m.

Sweetwater Center for the Arts, Sewickley. 412-741-4405.

SCOTTISH COUNTRY DANCING. Lessons 7-8 p.m., social dancing follows. No partner needed.

Mon, 7 p.m. and Sat, 7 p.m. Grace Episcopal Church, Mt. Washington.

412-683-5670.

SPELLING BEE WITH DAVE AND KUMAR. Mon Lava Lounge, South Side. 412-431-5282.

TUE 11

SQUIRREL HILL URBAN COALITION: HISTORY & CURRENT PROJECTS. Speaker: Wayne Gerhold, SHUC Treasurer.

Presented by the Squirrel Hill Historical Society. 7:30 p.m.

Church of the Redeemer, Squirrel Hill. 412-417-3707.

WED 12

CONVERSATION SALON. 10:15 a.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland. 412-622-3151.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.05/12.12.2012

LET’S SPEAK ENGLISH! Practice conversational English. Wed, 5 p.m. Carnegie Library, Oakland.

412-622-3151.

OBSCURE GAME/PUB GAME NIGHT. Wed. Thru Dec. 12 Hambone’s, Lawrenceville.

412-681-4318.

THE PITTSBURGH SHOW OFFS. A meeting of jugglers & spinners.

Equity & Non-Equity. Call for appointment. Trafford.

724-454-7193.

UNSEAM’D SHAKESPEARE COMPANY. Filling positions for 20th Anniversary Season.

Accepting resumés from stage managers, costumers, prop masters, lighting designers & set designers. Volunteers are also needed. Not seeking actors at this time. Please send resumes & inquiries to unseamdshakes@ gmail.com.

SUBMISSIONS CITY OF ASYLUM/PITTSBURGH.

Seeking writers from Western PA, aged 30+, who have published at least one full-length book of poetry, fiction, or non-fiction, to submit applications for a residency in Brussels, Belgium. More information at http://www. cityofasylumpittsburgh.org/.

GALLERY FLYNN. Seeking work All levels welcome. Wed, 7:30 p.m. by film & visual artists to display in Union Project, Highland Park. new gallery. McKees Rocks.

412-363-4550.

412-969-2990.

WEST COAST SWING MCKEES ROCKS COMMUNITY WEDNESDAYS. Swing dance DEVELOPMENT CORPORATION. lessons. Wed, 9 p.m. The Library, Seeking qualified architect for South Side. 916-287-1373. design of the renovated facade & building exterior of the historic Roxian Theatre. For more info, THE HERITAGE PLAYERS. email office_admin@mckeesrocks.

Auditions for Anybody Out com. 412-331-9901.

There? Dec. 9-10. Open call for PITTSBURGH CULTURAL TRUST. actors in their 20s-60s. www.

Seeking artists to design & develop heritageplayers.org/ Schoolhouse functional bicycle racks to be Art Center, Bethel Park. located in various locations within 412-831-6800 x 745. the Cultural District. For design LATSHAW PRODUCTIONS. requirements & other information: Auditions for fall & Christmas http://trustarts.org/visualarts/bike traveling orchestra shows.

412-471-6070.

Ongoing. Male/female singers & PITTSBURGH PUBLIC MARKET. dancers. 412-728-2193.

Seeking artists to donate & exhibit MCCAFFERY MYSTERIES. pieces for a fundraising auction Ongoing auditions for actors ages benefiting Jeremiah’s Place.

18+ for murder mystery shows Strip District. 412-661-1391. performed in the Pittsburgh area.

THE POET BAND COMPANY. 412-833-5056.

Seeking various types of MCKEESPORT LITTLE poetry. Contact THEATER. Auditions for wewuvpoetry@ Lend Me A Tenor. hotmail.com Dec. 17, 19. Cold REGENERATIONS. readings, ages 20+.

Seeking local artists, www. per McKeesport. pa environmentalists, pghcitym 412-673-1100. .co historians & other THE RAGE OF THE interested parties for STAGE PLAYERS. Homewood & Allegheny Auditions for “Winnie-thecemeteries tree reclamation-art Pooh & The Seven Deadly Sins. project. Email kennthomas2@ World-premiere of the racy, adult gmail.com for information. comedy! Must be 18+. Email SAINT VINCENT COLLEGE’S rageofthestage@yahoo.com w/ CENTER FOR POLITICAL & questions & submission. More ECONOMIC THOUGHT. info at www.facebook.com/ Seeking submissions to the rageofthestage. 724-292-8427.

Douglas B. Rogers Conditions of STAGE RIGHT. Auditions for An a Free Society Essay Competition.

Evening of One Acts. Dec. 9-10.

Open to full-time undergrad Men/women age 30-70. More students in any field at any 4-year information at http://www.stage college or university in the US or rightboyd.org/. Boyd Community Canada. Visit www.stvincent.edu/ Center, O’Hara. 412-228-0566. cpet/ for information.

THE TALENT GROUP. Open SILVER EYE CENTER FOR casting for models and actors PHOTOGRAPHY. Seeking 1st Monday of every month. submissions for Fellowship 13.

11:45 AM, 5:45 PM. 412-471-8011.

Submit a 1-page Artist’s Statement THE THEATRE FACTORY. in PDF format, a biography or CV in Auditions for “Moon Over PDF format, & your work sample to Buffalo,” by Ken Ludwig. Dec. 15. silvereye.slideroom.com Email 4 men (20’s-50’s) &4 women jzipay@silvereye.org for info.

(20’s-’60’s). Prepare a 2 min. comic South Side. 412-431-1810. monologue; Cold readings;

AUDITIONS

FULL LIST ONLINE

{BY DAN SAVAGE}

Sometimes I kick the proverbial hornet’s nest intentionally, and sometimes I kick it accidentally.

I honestly didn’t expect the outraged response I got after I wrote that poly wasn’t a sexual identity in the “sexual orientation” sense. Some people identify as poly, of course, just as some people identify as, say, dominant or submissive.

While I recognize that poly (or D/s) can be central to someone’s sexual identity, I’ve never viewed it as a sexual orientation.

Many poly people disagree. I’ve received a ton of emails from polyamorous readers, most of whom see themselves as poly-oriented, not just poly-identified. And while some seem confused — I’ve never denied the existence of polyamorous people, or said people couldn’t or shouldn’t identify as polyamorous — I’m turning this week’s column over to the polyoutraged.

feel some people can be innately one or the other. My husband and I decided to have a three-way. My husband couldn’t get into it until I got involved directly, and even then it didn’t do much for him. When he’s in love with someone, all he wants is that person.

In contrast, although he satisfies me and I love him, I want other partners. I feel that I’m polyamorous innately. I didn’t choose it. Likewise, my husband couldn’t choose to be polyamorous. He can practice polyamory, and he has for my sake, but naturally he’s monogamous. I appreciate that you advocate nonmonogamy. I credit you with helping to save my marriage. We married as virgins and were clueless about sex. But my husband and I have a great sex life — and I’m free to pursue people on the side — because we read your column.

I’ve been poly all my life, since well before I knew there was such a possibility. As far back as grade school, I’ve generally had a crush on more than one boy/guy/ man, and as an adult, I can’t imagine a life where I’m limited to one man, even though I love my husband deeply. When I was with someone before I knew about polyamory, I’d cheat. I wouldn’t want to, but sooner or later I’d meet someone else and fall in love so hard that I had to be with the other person, too. I hated cheating. I hated dishonesty. I hated myself. Reading Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy’s book The Ethical Slut changed my life. I finally understood the person I had been my whole life. I will always have the capacity to love more than one person and the incapacity to keep myself from falling in love with others — the way you will always have the capacity to love men romantically and no capacity to love women. Some people might just flirt with the lifestyle, but some of us are built to love more than one person at a time.

I AM HOW I AM

Cri ckuent ge Lo

Pittsburgh’s Best and Oakland’s Only Strip Club on the corner of Baum and Morewood

Monday: $2 Coors Light 9-11pm Tuesday: All Domestic Bottles $3 Until Midnight Wednesday: $2 Miller Lite All Night Thursday: $3 Well Drinks 9-11pm Friday: Ladies Night, No Cover For Ladies Saturday: Ladies Night, No Cover for Ladies, $2 Domestic Bottles until 9pm, $4 Jager Bombs All Night

Looking for Independent Dancers ATM on Site VIP Area for Private Dances

advertise your business in pittsburgh city paper

Hetero/poly guy here. I’m part of a live-in quad, and we all raise our kids together, so I’m pretty far down the polyamory rabbit hole. I don’t think polyamory can be defined as an “orientation.” I can still be attracted to monogamous people, and being poly doesn’t change that fact. I do, however, think that polyamory can be defined as a sexual identity.

Consider: A gay man can be attracted to a straight man.

Similarly, I can be attracted to people who identify as monogamous. But gay men tend to date other gay men and would generally be advised not to go chasing after straight men.

In the same way, I try to stick to other people who identify as poly. Poly is an identity, and poly people form communities around it. We face some unique challenges (how do you balance time between partners?), while other challenges are made easier (four parents makes getting kids to soccer easier). I’m not saying that we need to add a “P” to LGBTQQIA, but I don’t think we can be written off, either.

SOME PEOPLE MIGHT JUST FLIRT WITH THE LIFESTYLE, BUT SOME OF US ARE BUILT TO LOVE MORE THAN ONE PERSON AT A TIME.

POLY OF LONG YEARS

To enshrine the homosexuality/heterosexuality spectrum as the one sexual motivator around which individuals can choose an identity seems strange to me. I’m a heteroidentified man, but I could be in a homosexual relationship if a situation forced me to.

(Jail, for example.) It wouldn’t change how I identify, but it would change the relationship I’m in. However, the fact that closeted homosexual men operate in hetero relationships, or hetero guys fuck other hetero guys in jail or submarines, doesn’t make the identities of gay and straight any less valid.

THINKING STRAIGHT

I believe sexuality exists on spectrums. Not just one spectrum from gay to straight, but several spectrums. One spectrum is how sexual you are, from those with little to no sex drive to people who have very active sex drives. There is also, perhaps, a spectrum from monogamous to polyamorous. You say that monogamy and polyamory are things people do, not things people are. However, I

412.316.3342

POLY IDENTIFIED EMAILER

I’m a bisexual, polyamorous 24-year-old woman. From the first time I was faced with a cute boy who wanted to date me, I knew that I couldn’t be in a closed/exclusive relationship. I knew it as instinctively as I knew that I found women attractive as well as men. I was a virgin, so it wasn’t about sex. I didn’t have anyone else on the horizon and I really liked the boy, so it wasn’t about keeping my options open. And yet I knew — I knew — that I couldn’t be his girlfriend without the freedom to date, flirt, sleep with and love other people. Six years later, I started dating someone I think might turn out to be the love of my life. Even so, even in the best relationship I can possibly imagine, I know monogamy is not for me.

Incredibly, he feels the same way. Maybe there are few people like me — I think most people fall somewhere in the middle — but poly people exist.

ROLL THE DICE

s alway ou’ve r. y e s p s a e s in ty P u i b C e n i h t e r ti s e Star t 42 & adv d e t n wa 16-33esults.

POLY LIKE ME

412-3

SEND IN YOUR QUESTIONS TO MAIL@SAVAGELOVE.NET AND FIND THE SAVAGE LOVECAST (DAN’S WEEKLY PODCAST) AT THESTRANGER.COM/SAVAGE

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www.cricketdancers.com

Savage Love

280 Morewood Avenue Pittsburgh, PA 15213 412-683-9000

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Ink Well

SHAKING THINGS UP

{BY BEN TAUSIG}

ACROSS

1. Fruit-flavored Indian drink 6. Fruit-colored computer, once 10. Puritanical type 14. Opinion, as it were 15. East Coast kid’s pop 16. Pretend shot 17. *Training program for a 40something porn star?

19. Tabloid couple 20. Prophet with his own book 21. Some Nipponese wheels 23. Winter holiday in Hanoi 24. Type of acid used to repel roaches 28. “Never thought of that” 29. *Typical showing on the toilet?

33. Poacher’s pursuit 36. Nobel Peace Prize laureate the year before UNICEF 37. 2012 NBA breakout Jeremy 38. Sexy cat noise, I suppose 39. Outfits for many a 40-Across 40. Freak, of a sort 41. Domain for Gen. Petraeus 42. Make murky 43. “Well, I’ll be!”

44. Like the order of the letters in the first words of the starred entries, before being shaken up 47. Clean out 48. Off-white ride mentioned in

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.05/12.12.2012

“Empire State of Mind” 49. Delivery VIPs 52. Stuff applied by downhillers 55. Hug and pull into a big pile of strong men, say 57. Bonkers 58. *Where earth-conscious French students study?

62. Gave the go-ahead to 63. Identify 64. Person without a pad 65. Comedian Barry sometimes on “Louie” 66. Feeling of lust 67. “___: The Battle for Endor” (Wilford Brimley made-forTV classic)

DOWN

1. Two per customer, say 2. Pho spice 3. The ___ Pack (Eli Roth, Rob Zombie, et al.)

4. Member of a Libyan religious minority 5. Joyful announcement after hours of brutal pain and screaming 6. Devil follower?

7. Cattle call 8. Fuss 9. Keep ___ and carry on 10. Major lobbyist against generic drugs 11. *Sewer casino employee?

12. Retailer that recently admitted

to using forced labor 13. Treasure chest glitterers 18. Eat, with “down” 22. Stress, it’s said 25. Deal with problems in the bedroom, say?

26. Taker’s words 27. Lazy baker’s need 29. “What the fuck happened to fall?”

30. Erstwhile TRL hosts 31. Prepare, as one’s loins 32. “Pain at the good fortune of others”: Aristotle 33. “Joy of Cooking” writer Rombauer 34. Colorado resort 35. *Offering discounts for the purchase of a dozen delicious mice?

39. Johnny ___ 40. W, e.g.

42. Rum-soaked dessert 43. Dish in one of roughly three “Garfield” jokes 45. “I could’ve sworn ...”

46. Affirmation outside the dressing room 49. Vermont resort 50. Hopeless 51. Forwards, e.g.

52. Quarter’s place 53. Gorilla who speaks in sign language 54. Interplanetary dictator in Scientology who we’re not supposed to talk about 56. What a humbled person “eats” 59. Rail unit 60. “Srsly??!!”

61. Bruce who died mysteriously

{LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS}

FOR THE WEEK OF

Free Will Astrology

12.05-12.12

{BY ROB BREZSNY}

SUBOXONE TREATMENT

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): If you thoroughly shuffle a deck of cards, the novel arrangement you create is probably unique in all of human history; its specific order has

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never before occurred. I suspect the same principle applies to our lives:

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challenged and intrigued by. There is always some fresh opportunity, however small, that is being offered you for the first time. I think it’s important for you to keep this perspective in mind during the coming week. Be alert for what you have never seen or experienced before.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):

I wish I could do more than just fantasize about helping you achieve greater freedom. In my dreams, I am obliterating delusions that keep you moored to false idols. I am setting fire to the unnecessary burdens you lug around. And I am tearing you away from the galling compromises you made once upon a time in order to please people who don’t deserve to have so much power over you. But it’s actually a good thing I can’t just wave a magic wand to make all this happen. Here’s a much better solution: You will clarify your analysis of the binds you’re in, supercharge your willpower and liberate yourself.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):

In his book Even Cowgirls Get the Blues, Tom Robbins talks about a gourmet who “gave up everything, traveled thousands of miles and spent his last dime to get to the highest lamasery in the Himalayas to taste the dish he’d longed for his whole life, Tibetan peach pie.

When he got there … the lamas said they were all out of peach. ‘OK,’ said the gourmet, ‘make it apple.’” I suspect you’ll be having a comparable experience sometime soon, Aquarius. You may not get the exact treat you wanted, but what you’ll receive in its place is something that’s pretty damn good. I urge you to accept the gift as is!

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):

DELIGHT

“Having ‘a sense of self’ means possessing a set of stories about who we are,” according to William Kittredge in his book The Nature of Generosity. He says there are two basic types of stories: The first is “cautionary tales, which warn us” and therefore protect us. The second consists of “celebratory” tales, which we use to heal and calm ourselves. I believe that you Pisceans are now in a phase when you primarily need celebratory stories. It’s time to define yourself with accounts of what you love and value and regard as precious.

ARIES (March 21-April 19):

Spencer Silver was a co-inventor of Post-it notes, those small, colorful pieces of paper you can temporarily attach to things and then remove to use again and again. Speaking about the process he went through to develop this simple marvel, he

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.05/12.12.2012

said, “If I had thought about it, I wouldn’t have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can’t do this.” I’d like to make him your patron saint for the next few weeks, Aries. Like him, you now have the chance to make practical breakthroughs that may have seemed impossible, or at least unlikely. Ignore conventional wisdom — including your own.

Trust your mischievous intuition.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20):

The axolotl is a kind of salamander that has an extraordinary capacity for regenerating itself. If it loses a leg in an accident, it will grow a new one in its place. It can even fix its damaged organs, including eyes, heart and brain. And get this: There’s never any scar tissue left behind when its work is done. Its power to heal itself is pretty much perfect. I nominate the axolotl to be your power animal in the coming weeks, Taurus. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you now have an extraordinary ability to restore any part of your soul that got hurt or stolen or lost.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20):

In the coming months, I hope that you will get sweet revenge. In fact, I predict that you will get sweet revenge. Keep in mind that I’m not talking about angry, roaring vindication. I don’t mean you will destroy the reputations of your adversaries or reduce them to humiliating poverty or laugh at them as they grovel for mercy while lying in a muddy gutter. No, Gemini. The kind of revenge I foresee is that you will achieve a ringing triumph by mastering a challenge they all believed would defeat you. And your ascent to victory starts now.

CANCER (June 21-July 22):

I would love to speak with you about your hesitancy to fully confront your difficulties. But I will not speak forthrightly, since I’m pretty sure that would irritate you. It might even motivate you to procrastinate even further. So instead I will make a lame joke about how if you don’t stop avoiding the obvious, you will probably get bitten in the butt by a spider. I will try to subtly guilt-trip you into taking action by implying that I’ll be annoyed at you if you don’t. I will wax sarcastic and suggest that maybe just this once, ignorance is bliss. Hopefully that will nudge you

into dealing straightforwardly with the unrest that’s burbling.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22):

“Drama is life with all the boring parts cut out of it,” said Leo filmmaker Alfred Hitchcock. By that criterion, I’m guessing that your experience in the coming week will have a high concentration of magic and stimulation. You should be free from having to slog through stale details and prosaic storylines. Your word of power will be “succulence.” For best results, I suggest you take active control of the unfolding adventures.

Be the director and lead actor in your drama, not a passive participant who merely reacts to what the other actors are doing.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):

One of my spiritual teachers once told me that a good spiritual teacher makes an effort not to seem too perfect. She said some teachers even cultivate odd quirks and harmless failings on purpose. Why? To get the best learning experience, students must be discouraged from over-idealizing the wise advisers they look up to. It’s crucial they understand that achieving utter purity is impossible and unrealistic. Being perceived as an infallible expert is dangerous for teachers, too; it makes them prone to egotistical grandiosity. I bring this up, Virgo, because it’s an excellent time to reduce the likelihood that you’ll be seduced by the illusion of perfection.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):

This would be a good week to talk to yourself far more than you usually do. If you’re the type of person who never talks to yourself, this is a perfect time to start. And I do mean that you should speak the words out loud. Actually address yourself with passionate, humorous, ironic, sincere, insightful comments, as you would any person you care about. Why am I suggesting this? Because according to my interpretation of the astrological omens, you would benefit from the shock of literally hearing how your mind works. Even more importantly: The cheerleading you do, the encouragement you deliver, and the motivational speeches you give would have an unusually powerful impact if they were audibly articulated.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):

In the fairy tale “Beauty and the Beast,” a grotesque human-like creature hosts the heroine in his home, treating her like a queen. She accepts his hospitality but rejects his constant requests to marry him. Eventually, he collapses from heartache. Moved by the depth of his suffering, she breaks into tears and confesses her deep affection for him. This shatters the spell and magically transforms the Beast back into the handsome prince he originally was.

Your life may have parallels to this story in the coming months, Scorpio. You might be tested.

Can you discern the truth about a valuable resource that doesn’t look very sexy? Will you be able to see beauty embedded in a rough or shabby form?

Write a parable or fairy tale that captures what your life has been like in 2012. Freewill astrology.com

GO TO REALASTROLOGY.COM TO CHECK OUT ROB BREZSNY’S EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES AND DAILY TEXT-MESSAGE HOROSCOPES. THE AUDIO HOROSCOPES ARE ALSO AVAILABLE BY PHONE AT 1-877-873-4888 OR 1-900-950-7700

FOR INFORMATION ON HOW TO PLACE A CLASSIFIEDS ADVERTISEMENT, CALL 412.316.3342 EXT. 189

SERVICES 57 + WORK 57 + STUDIES 60 + WELLNESS 61 + LIVE 62

SERVICES CLASSES

ANNOUNCEMENTS Become a friend of Gordon Shoes on Facebook for your chance to win great prizes and merchandise!

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We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808 www. cash4car.com (AAN CAN) REACH 5 MILLION hip, forward-thinking consumers across the U.S. When you advertise in alternative newspapers, you become part of the local scene and gain access to an audience you won’t reach anywhere else. http:// altweeklies.com/ads Get the most for your money in CP Classifieds. We get great results. Call 412.316.3342

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CLASSES

ADOPTION

COMMUNITY

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FAA approved training. Financial aid if qualified – Housing available. Job placement assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance 877-492-3059

PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions 866-413-6293 (Void in Illinois) (AAN CAN)

2nd Annual Holiday Vendor Fair Saturday December 8th from 12noon-5pm.

Raffle Prizes, Lots of local merchants selling jewelry, gifts, purses, house wares, and much more! Admission $3 Inter-City Ministries 5643 East Liberty Blvd. Pgh, Pa 15206

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College Sweethearts, Music, Beach House, Laughter, Unconditional LOVE Awaits 1st Baby.

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Wellness is a state that combines health & happiness. Make City Paper readers happy by advertising your health services in our “Wellness” section.

Place your Classified advertisment in City Paper. Call 412.316.3342

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COMPUTERS ADOPTION

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DANCE INSTRUCTOR

PITTSBURGH STEEL CITY STEPPERS CHICAGO-STYLE STEPPIN’ DANCE LESSONS Wednesdays 7 -8:30 PM Wilkins School Community Center CONTACT: steelcitysteppers@ hotmail.com “friend” us on Facebook and Meetup.com

HELP WANTED!!!

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FREE Supplies! Helping Home Workers since 2001! Genuine Opportunity! No Experience required.

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WANTED! 36 PEOPLE to Lose Weight. 30-day money back guarantee. Herbal Program.

Also opportunity to earn up to $1,000 monthly. 1-800-492-4437

www.healthnutrition pittsburgh.com

HELP WANTED NOVUM PHARMACEUTICAL RESEARCH SERVICES Director, Scientific AffairsPittsburgh, PA: Direct/develop protocol for clinical research studies on bioequivalence; review statistical analyses/results; Req: MS/MA deg or foreign equiv in med/life scncs +3 yrs exp in biopharmaceutical R&D (PK/PD, biostatistics, bioanalysis).

10-20% travel.

Send resumes to: Novum Pharmaceutical Research Services of DE, 5900 Penn Ave, Pittsburgh, PA 15206, Attn: J Scoglietti.

Holiday Astrology Parties Over 3,000 good used tires on stock daily Guaranteed Lowest Prices on New Tires

Host a Pet Astrology Holiday Party

for at least 5-15 people at your home.

Learn the astrology compatibility of you and your pet!

A portion of all proceeds go to the Animal Charity of your choice.

2 Convenient Locations

$75.00 per person

3162 Leechburg Road Lower Burrelll, PA 15068 1306 Powers Drive New Kensington, PA 15068 412-720-4658

Great Christmas idea!

White Cloud Productions www.whitecloud.vpweb.com 724-256-8525

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DISCLAIMER: ALTHOUGH MOST ADVERTISING IN PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER ARE LEGITIMATE BUSINESSES, PRIOR TO INVESTING MONEY OR USING A SERVICE LOCATED WITHIN ANY SECTION OF THE CLASSIFIEDS WE SUGGEST THE FOLLOWING PROCEDURE: ASK FOR REFERENCES & BUSINESS LICENSE NUMBER, OR CALL/WRITE: THE BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU AT 412-456-2700 / 300 SIXTH AVE., STE 100-UL / PITTSBURGH, PA 15222. REMEMBER: IF IT SOUNDS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, IT USUALLY IS! N E W S

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Paid Advertising Supplement of the City Paper

Best Places to Work Sunrise Senior Living Sunrise Senior Living, a premier provider of senior care internationally, is where your work makes a difference and where you receive the benefits and advancement opportunities you desire. We offer competitive pay, excellent benefits, and ability to grow your career. To learn about our company please visit http://www.sunriseseniorliving.com

Public Interest Communications For over 30 years, Public Interest Communications (PIC) has been helping the nation’s great non-profit organizations succeed and prosper!

PIC’s ongoing mission is to inform and motivate charitable donors while producing tremendous results. If you are looking for ways to give back, care about the world, and want to help affect change, call (412) 622-7370 or head to: http://pubintcom.com/careers.html

Kenan Advantage Group Kenan Advantage Group is North America’s largest bulk transportation and logistics provider to the petroleum, merchant gases, food grate, chemicals and specialty products industries. When you drive for KAG, you become part of an elite group of professionals with the flexibility to live your life.

Extra Money For The Holidays!

Are you interested in fundraising?

Do you care about our world?

We are the oldest and most respected fundraising company in the country.

Our ideal candidate should posses excellent verbal skills, active listening skills and a concern for our world’s future.

We Offer • 20-40 flexible AM and PM hours • Training Bonus • Health/Dental/Vision Benefits • Proficiency Reward • Company Supported 401k • Paid Vacation Hours • Supportive Atmosphere • Great Pay

Public Interest Communications

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In Oakland/ Shadyside, on busline. Near universities.

Plenty of free parking.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.05/12.12.2012

Paid Advertising Supplement of the City Paper

Best Places to Work Army With hands-on intensive training, real-world job experience and tons of benefits including education tuition assistance, working in the Pennsylvania Army National Guard has never been better. Develop a set of skills that only the National Guard can teach you and do things you’ve only ever imagined, all while serving your community and nation. With the Pennsylvania National Guard the possibilities are endless.

NOW HIRING All Levels of Management

Panera Covelli Enterprises, the largest franchise owner of Panera Bread BakeryCafes is seeking career-minded individuals. We want those who will grow with us and become part of the Covelli family...who have the personality and leadership skills to establish a positive and thriving work environment.

Your success is important to us!

Auction Direct USA

Opportunities available in

Auction Direct USA is committed to revolutionizing and legitimizing the used car business, guided by the principals of trust and open information exchange, to provide a truly unique and satisfying automobile purchase experience for every guest in every way. We are thrilled to be entering the Pittsburgh market, and we are confident that the people of Pittsburgh will wholeheartedly embrace our concept and style of selling used cars. Learn more at AUCTIONDIRECT.COM

All Cafes in Pittsburgh Room for advancement Great Salary and Benefits Bonus Program

JOIN OUR TEAM www.panerabread.jobs The Nation’s #1 Independent Used Car Retailer is coming to Pittsburgh!

SALES MANAGER AND SALES ASSOCIATE OPENINGS Auction Direct USA, a growing national used car superstore chain, is expanding into the Pittsburgh market! Major opportunity for the right individuals to join a leader in the used car industry. We are now recruiting for Sales Managers and Sales Associates to join our team.

E-mail Resumes to: Director of Human Resources mwilliams@auctiondirectusa.com New Dealership In: Robinson

Township

THE CAR BUSINESS WILL NEVER BE THE SAME! N E W S

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STUDIES CLINICAL STUDIES

CLINICAL STUDIES

NAMASTE! Find a healthy balance of the mind, body and spirit with one of our massage therapists, yoga, or spa businesses!

We are looking for persons in general good health, and on no prescription or illicit drugs to participate in our paid out-patient studies. Please call our Recruiting Department today at 1-800-586-0365

Blood Pressure and

The Brain Research study with one MRI and two interview sessions seeks healthy adults ages 35-60.

Cannot have low blood pressure, hypertension, heart disease, or diabetes. $150 compensation. Will be invited to repeat study in 2 years with additional compensation.

Contact Kim Novak 412-246-6200 novakkj@upmc.edu

CLINICAL STUDIES

CLINICAL STUDIES

OVEREATING AND OVERWEIGHT?

VAGINAL DRYNESS?

CALL TODAY!

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412.363.1900 CTRS

412.363.1900 CTRS

DIABETES? CONSTIPATION? CALL TODAY!

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412.363.1900 CTRS

Want to make a difference?

Your ad could be here

Healthy Volunteers Needed for Hormonal Vaginal Ring Research Study You may be eligible to participate if you are: • • • •

412.316.3342

18-39 years old In general good health Have regular periods Not pregnant or breastfeeding • Are willing to abstain from sexual activity, OR are sexually active and willing to use condoms, OR you are sterilized OR with one partner who has a vasectomy • Are willing to come to MageeWomens Hospital for up to 54 visits over 8 months

Our board-certified physicians have been conducting clinical trials to advance primary care practice and the health of patients since 2003.

Participants will be compensated up to $2,930 fo their time and travel

We are currently enrolling for clinical trials in the following areas:

For more information please contact:

• Asthma • COPD • Migraine • Diabetes • Cardiovascular • High cholesterol • IBS with diarrhea

The Center for Family Planning at

412-641-5496

or visit: www.birthcontrolstudies.org

412-650-6155

Are you interested in a long-term method of birth control?

YOU MAY BE ELIGIBLE IF YOU: • Are a non-pregnant woman between 16 and 45 years old • Are in need of contraception • Have regular periods • Are willing to come to Magee-Womens Hospital to complete up to 14 or more visits over a five year period The Center for Family Planning Research is conducting a research study of an investigational contraceptive intrauterine device (IUD).

Participants will receive study-related exams and study-related birth control at no cost.

To see if you qualify, please call the Center for Family Planning Research at 412-641-5496 or visit our website at www.birthcontrolstudies.org.Participants will be reimbursed up to $1030 over five years.

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.05/12.12.2012

WELLNESS COUNSELING

MIND & BODY

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FB Massage / Moist. for men 40+ by mature gent. Advance Sched.

412-916-4082 lrs8690@ aol.com

SELF-ESTEEM WORKSHOPS 412-400-7159 selfesteemworkshops.com ;;;;;;;;;;;;

MIND & BODY

Sneakers not meant to be in the box. New Balance Pittsburgh.

Oakland & Waterfront. www.lifestyleshoe.com

DEEP TISSUE MASSAGE

Find your next place to “LIVE” in City Paper!

THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE FOR MEN

STAR

Sports, Swedish, Shiatsu. $50/Hour Northside Location Near Heinz Field Call Rick: 412-512-6716

Superior Chinese Massage Free Table Shower w/60min Open 10-10 Daily

1310 E. Carson St. 412-488-3951

1788 Golden Mile Hwy Monroeville, PA 15146 Call for more information

724-519-7896

Chinese Tuina Massage Walk-Ins Welcome 412-561-1104 3225 W. Liberty Ave. • Dormont

minkunmassage.com

CHINESE MASSAGE 412-308-5540 412-548-3710

TWO LOCATIONS 1190 Washington Pike, Bridgeville

3348 Babcock Blvd.

Pittsburgh

412-319-7530

Caring Help for Opiate Addiction • Experienced, caring therapy and medical staff.

• Private, professional setting.

• Downtown office near public transportation and parking.

• Medication by prescription coverage or self-pay.

Immediate Openings for Self-Paying Clients!

412.246.8965, ext. 9

Therapy

BAD BACK OR NECK PAIN?

Trigger point Deep tissue Swedish Reflexology BLOOMFIELD 412.683.2328

JADE Wellness Center

Premiere Outpatient Drug and Alcohol Treatment

4972 Library Road, Bethel Park

$10 Off Massage Before Noon!

Water table and hot oil massages, body scrubs, and 10 different types of massages!

Best Chinese Massage Open 7 days a week 9:30am til 2am 2508 E. Carson St. 412-677-6080 412-918-1281

412-595-8077

• VIVITROL -

Zhangs Wellness Center

412-401-4110 $45

Therapeutic Massage

DOWNTOWN 322 Fourth Ave.

Therapy Relief is just a call away.

Our licensed professional staff can assist with Fibromyalgia, Circulation, Low Back Pain, Muscle Spasms.

(1st Floor)

Phoenix Spa New Young Professional Free Table Shower w/60 min.

Open 10-10 Daily

Walk in or Call

a new once a month injection for alcohol and opiate dependency

LOCATIONS IN:

• NOW Treating Pregnant Women

Oakland, PA Downtown Pgh, PA Bridgeville, PA West View, PA Butler, PA

NO WAIT LIST Accepts all major insurances and medical assistance

412-441-1185

412-621-3300

Includes Med Management & Therapy

• Group and Individualized Therapy

Shadyside Location

4309 Butler Street (Lawrenceville)

We treat: ~ Opiate Addiction ~ Heroin Addiction ~ And Other Drug Addiction

• SUBOXONE

(in Hillcrest Shopping Center)

Professional Massage Therapists

SUBOXONE

Family Owned and Operated Treating: Alcohol, Opiates, Heroin and More

(across from Eat n’ Park)

South Side

Addiction & Recovery Health Services

massage

GRAND OPENING Aming’s Massage Therapy

PH. 412.389.8637

SUBOXONE TREATMENT

www.pittsburghbodyworks.com

WELLNESS CENTER

125 W. Station Square Dr. Station Sq. Freight Shops

Chinese So Relax Massage

Find your next place to “WORK” in City Paper!

$50/HR Free Table Shower

Xie LiHong’s

• $40 per 60 min massage • 2hr free valet parking at the Concourse with the purchase of a 60 or 90 min massage

MIND & BODY

China Massage

Place your Classified advertisment in City Paper. Call 412.316.3342

Mingkun Massage

MIND & BODY

IMMEDIATE OPENINGS

412.434.6700

Suboxone Services Pittsburgh- 412-281-1521 Beaver- 724-448-9116 N E W S

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WE have been there WE know your pain Don’t Wait Any Longer!

www.ThereToHelp.org We Accept: - UPMC for You - Gateway - United Health - And Many Others

MONROEVILLE, PA

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Xin Sui Bodyworks

LIVE

Grand Opening

$49.99/ hour Free Vichy Shower with 1HR or more body work (Body shower and Body Scrub) Essential Oil used at no extra charge

MOVING SERVICES

SOUTH FOR RENT

ABC SELF STORAGE- 5x10 $45, 10x10 $65, 10x15 $95. (2) locations Mckees Rocks & South Side.

412-403-6069

Brookline Clean 2nd Fl dplx, 2BR, kitch, LR, DR, Laud,$705 +util,412-833-3803 Find your next place to “WORK” in City Paper!

ROOMMATES

Sq. Hill- Spac. 2 stry apt, 3BR, 2BA, office/ den, PRIME LOCATION! Newer fully eq e-i-k, basement, lndry, lg rear yrd, no pets. $1,550+g&e 412-521-5920 Find your next place to “LIVE” in City Paper!

Place your ad here 412-316-33442

HOUSES FOR RENT

2539 Monroeville Blvd Ste 200 Monroeville, Pa 15146 Next to Twin Fountain Plaza 412-335-6111

GRAND OPENING!

Judy’s Oriental Massage Appointments & Walk-ins are both welcome 10am to 10pm

FULL BODY MASSAGE $40/hr Now with Vichy Shower 4125 William Penn Hwy, Murrysville, PA 15668 Across the street from Howard Hanna’s

724-519-2950 Accepting All Major Cards

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 12.05/12.12.2012

ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http:// www.Roommates.com.

(AAN CAN) Our readers look for an overall feeling of well being on a daily basis and they are looking for businesses like yours!

Advertise in City Papers “Wellness” section.

MUST SEE!!! 3 BR house, closets, fenced yard, appl, eq. kit, central heat & a/c, $700+utils. 5 minutes from Southside and Waterfront shopping.

Call after 7pm 412-421-8559 Sq. Hill- Spac. 2 stry, 3BR, 2BA, office/den, PRIME LOCATION! Newer fully eq e-i-k, basement, lndry, lg rear yrd, no pets. $1,550+g&e 412-521-5920

get your

The numbers don’t lie!

How many people actually READ the classifieds? Check it out!

CP 252,391 Trib Classifieds 65,075 PG Classifieds 60,463 City Paper has more eyes on the prize than other publications in the market!

Advertise TODAY!

yoga on!

PAST PERFECT 25 Years of Rick Sebak {BY CHRIS POTTER}

MAYOR LUKE RAVENSTAHL has declared this Rick Sebak Week, to com-

memorate the local documentary filmmaker’s 25-year-long career. But perhaps the real testament to Sebak is this: After Ravenstahl’s announcement, you could hear some local politicos muttering about how this was just an effort to boost the mayor’s chances in next year’s election. And they weren’t entirely kidding.

This is Rick Sebak, after all. The guy whose three-dozen-film franchise — including titles like North Side Story and Things That Aren’t Here Anymore — hasn’t just defined WQED-TV’s program schedule, but helped underwrite it, too. The guy now celebrated in the “Yinztagram” mobile app, which allows you to superimpose a Pittsburgh artifact — the Duquesne Incline, a Primanti Brothers sandwich — on any photo you choose. Sebak’s face is one of the most popular add-ons: He’s gone from celebrating local landmarks to becoming one. Probably nobody this side of the Pittsburgh Steelers has this kind of popularity: a popularity that transcends generations, political divides and thousands of miles.

and Sebak’s films often confirm that vision. Those of us who didn’t leave, meanwhile, sometimes seem to believe that there’s something distinctly Pittsburgh about behaviors that are, in fact, simple human nature. (Even a man of the world like Allegheny County Executive Rich Fitzgerald seems afflicted. The steel mills may be gone, he says in 25 Things, but “We still love to enjoy ourselves after work” with a good beer. You don’t say?)

I sometimes think that if I have to read another feature story about the fries on the sandwiches — or hear someone exclaim about how friendly Pittsburghers are — I’m going to move to Cleveland. I mean, we aren’t hobbits: There’s more (and sometimes less) to us than a desire for good food and fellowship.

But as 25 Things reminded me, the films themselves are more than nostalgia. Among other things, it features a successful neighborhood antiviolence effort, a neighborhood garden and a slew of neighborhood landmarks often celebrated in City Paper itself.

Perhaps the film’s high point comes when Sebak turns up at the Pitts-

THE PITTSBURGH SELTZER COMPANY SEGMENT SUMS UP WHAT SEBAK’S PITTSBURGH IS ALL ABOUT: PUTTING NEW FIZZ IN OLD BOTTLES. And the sensibility of Sebak’s films — their love of Pittsburgh’s characteristic idiosyncrasies, and idiosyncratic characters — has become part of the city’s mindset. Which is something a politician should take seriously. A decade ago, Mayor Tom Murphy provoked an uproar by trying to replace local merchants on Fifth and Forbes avenues with upscale chains. Would there have been such an outcry had Sebak not made 1992’s Downtown Pittsburgh, which included a loving portrayal of Fifth Avenue tenant Candy-Rama? Would Pittsburgh have surrendered to big-box dreams of the future, had Sebak not taught us the value of our past? In a way, this is Rick Sebak’s town. The mayor just governs it.

So yeah, it might not hurt that Ravenstahl managed to get a photograph of himself seated with Sebak. Unless, of course, the mayor was just using the Yinztagram app, like everyone else.

Still, I’ll confess that I was a little wary of Sebak’s 25th-anniversary documentary, 25 Things I Like About Pittsburgh, which aired last weekend.

After all those films, you start to wonder how much regional charm we have left. I guess we’ll know for sure if WQED ever airs They Call It McCandless. But I was worried when 25 Things began celebrating the city’s retaining walls. (“We are the city of retaining walls!” Sebak enthuses.

“They hold up our hills!”)

And there’s something almost kind of fetishistic about the way Pittsburgh insists on its quirkiness. Partly that’s due to the People Who Aren’t Here Anymore: the expatriates who’ve left during the past 30 years. Every exile carries around an idealized vision of the home he’s left behind,

burgh Seltzer Company, where century-old machines inject seltzer water into glass bottles dating back to pre-war Czechoslovakia. Sebak follows those bottles as they are mixed into trendy cocktails at cutting-edge restaurants. The whole segment, really, sums up what Sebak’s Pittsburgh is all about: putting new fizz in old bottles.

Because Sebak’s films aren’t just about a wistfulness for the past.

They’re also about how Pittsburgh incorporates the past into the present … something the rest of America generally has a hard time doing. In that way, we truly are distinctive.

Like any good documentarian, Sebak gives the best lines to someone else. Towards the end of 25 Things, he chats with Joe Wos, director of the ToonSeum, who notes how many of Pittsburgh’s contributions to culture — like hosting the world’s first commercial radio station — reshaped not the palaces of high society, but everyday life.

“There’s still that blue-collar ethic that really appreciates that there’s nothing common about the common man,” Wos says. That’s a line that rings true even though (or maybe partly because) we have fewer bluecollar workers than we used to. And it’s a line that sums up Sebak’s career so far — a career that hasn’t just chronicled the trend but been a part of it.

Years from now, I doubt anyone will be waxing nostalgic for Mayor Ravenstahl, or for whoever one day replaces him. But someday, I suspect, people will fondly remember what it was like to remember with Rick Sebak. Which in Pittsburgh may be the greatest honor of all.

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