People Speak About: Chaim Walder

SHARE WIDELY

The case was originally closed due to insufficient evidence. He had passed a polygraph test!

Is there a lesson to be learned from all of this?

INDEX

NOTE This document contains some of the publicly available testimonies that have surfaced in the media and on social media. We have presented them as written by the original authors, translated to English.

And what about Walder’s side of the story?

We will discuss that too in this booklet.

Do people make up stories sometimes?

They do!

Do people lie sometimes?

They do.

We will leave it up for you to judge if “everyone” is lying and making up stories.

Due to the sensitive nature of the allegations, we will not dwell on details and specifics.

3.

12.

What DO we know as of now?

What does it mean for us as a community?

22.

What happens when victims come forward?

26.

Important resources

This document does not include graphic details.

2

PEOPLE SPEAK

DECEMBER 2021

Did you know?

The Charedi community unfortunately serves as a safe haven for many sexual predators and pedophiles who rely on the kindheartedness of our community to act with impunity.

Why now?

Because the “Walder saga” is an opportunity to have an urgent conversation about sexual abuse in our community; to tear down the wall of silence and shame; and, most importantly, to debunk some common misconceptions such as: “Why didn’t they come forward earlier?”

“What about innocent until proven guilty?”

“How can we destroy a person’s career based on hearsay?”

?‫ואם לא עכשיו אימתי‬ If not now, when?

Who are we?

A group of Orthodox mothers who care deeply about our community and making it safer and healthier for ourselves and our kids.

We count on your help in achieving that.

DECEMBER 2021

PEOPLE SPEAK

3

IMPORTANT NOTE: As far as it’s publicly known, as of now the accusers of Chaim Walder have not pressed charges, with the exception of one case as discussed later.

In the absence of an official complaint, we cannot expect an indictment. That would be like anticipating a lottery win without buying a ticket.

However, what this controversy can teach us is why the majority of sex abuse cases go unprosecuted and unpunished.

There is a wall of silence that is hurting us, our kids, and our community.

Where there is darkness, let there be light.

Let’s tear down that wall!

4

PEOPLE SPEAK

DECEMBER 2021

LET’S HAVE A LOOK AT WHAT WAS PUBLICLY REPORTED: On Nov. 13th, 2 prestigious journalists, Aron Rabinowitz and Shira Alik (who have previously unmasked Yehuda Meshi-Zahav) break the story in Haaretz. Here is a summary: Talia (pseudonym) reports that Walder began abusing her at the age of 12 and a half, until the age of 16. Talia told her best friend at the time. At the age of 28 she underwent therapy and told the therapist what had happened.

Haaretz reporters spoke to both the friend and the therapist who confirmed the details.

Another alleged victim is Moriah (pseudonym) who says she was regularly abused by Walder about twenty years ago when she was 15. The third alleged victim, Dina (pseudonym), filed a police complaint against Walder more than a decade ago.

The complaint was filed when Dina was in her 20s,regarding incidents that had occurred about seven years earlier. After a year the case was closed due to lack of evidence. The reporters learned that after the case was closed the complainant signed a non-disclosure agreement with Walder, but had, in real time, told two friends as well as her therapists. All of them confirmed the details to Haaretz.

Aron Rabinowitz, on the Keren Neubach radio show, said that while investigating the story - just to be safe - one of the accusers was tested with a polygraph which confirmed that she’s telling the truth. “It was so obvious that she’s telling the truth, the polygraph wasn’t needed” he added.

Days after the initial report, journalist Aron Rabinowitz reveals to Eli Bitan on Kan Radio that since the story was published, 20 more women came forward alleging abuse by Walder.

DECEMBER 2021

PEOPLE SPEAK

5

WALDER’S SIDE In response to the story, Walder released apparent results of a polygraph test he took voluntarily, which seemingly proved that he’s telling the truth. Among other things, he claimed to be telling the truth about a negative answer to the question: “Have you ever treated privately a girl or a woman?” Furthermore, in his lawyer’s official response to media reports he states: “Walder has not once in his entire life been in a one-on-one setting with any girl. I asked him that 10 times and even sent him to a polygraph to confirm.”

Oddly enough, it was those who attempted to defend him who broke that line of defense. Testimonies began to emerge all over social media from women who said they had indeed met with Walter privately.

For example, one woman with her full name wrote in a popular Facebook group “at the age of 14 he treated me and he was very professional.” She reiterates in the comments that this was without the presence of another adult in the room.

Other woman confirmed this too, that he indeed met privately with girls.

So, can we trust the results of Walder’s polygraph?

We will leave it up to you to decide.

Miri Forst, a coach for a women’s running group, posted screenshots of her correspondence with a trainee on Facebook, in which the trainee claims that she was abused by Walder. She subsequently posted that three more women had sent her descriptions of similar incidents.

Another woman, Ruth Giat, comes forward and publishes on Facebook a detailed account of her abuse by Walder while she was in seminary.

THE WALL OF SILENCE BREAKS Racheli Gotlieb-Roshgold, a prominent advocate for abuse survivors, breaks her silence with a post on Facebook titled “Chaim Walder, the man who ruined my Charedi innocence”.

She details her involvement in a case with lots of evidence, but Walder got the victim to sign a NDA in exchange for money.

She concludes: Walder, you know I’m telling the truth. If not, go ahead and sue me!

Avigayil Heilbronn, founder of ‘Lo Tishtok’ reveals that her organization is helping “many of Walder’s victims.”

Acclaimed journalist, Ariela Sternbach, shares in a Facebook post that in 2016 she had been made aware of rumors regarding Walder. She had reached out to a victim of Walder who had signed a confidentiality agreement, and had tried to find more victims, but was unsuccessful. At the time she came to the conclusion that the rumors must be an attempts to discredit Walder, with whom she had in the meantime become friends.

“And here’s the turning point” Shternbuch continues: “This morning I met Aron Rabinowitz, he told me details that could not be published - in order to protect the victims privacy.” She concludes:

“I believe the victims. I believe that Chaim Walder abused women and sexually exploited them.”

DECEMBER 2021

PEOPLE SPEAK

7

In an interview with Akiva Novik on Israeli radio, Journalist Aron Rabinowitz said: “I have testimonies about boys and girls between the ages of 9-12 that he violently and forcefully abused them.” He also claimed that officials in the municipality of Bnei Brak, Walder’s workplace, had already known about cases of sexual abuse by Walder a decade ago.

Journalist and author Yair Ettinger Tweets what Rabbi Eyal Vered wrote to his congregation in Petah Tikva, in which he recommends getting rid of Walder’s books and writes: “His actions were well-known in certain circles, and now, BH, this lie is being exposed.”

When asked about this, Harav Vered replied that he was personally involved in such a case (other than those published) and could not discuss it for fear of harming the victims by exposing them.

Oriya Mevorach posted on the Facebook page of ‘‫ ’אפרכסת‬a first-hand account of a man who revealed his identity and it was verified.

In this conversation the man reveals to her the story of his wife’s alleged adultery with Chaim Walder.

In an article published on the ‘Arutz Sheva’ website on the topic, Rabbi Shmuel Eliyahu is quoted saying: “Some families broke up because he committed forbidden acts with the woman and destroyed the family.”

“It’s not based on an article in the Haaretz.

It’s based on a lot of testimonies, documents, transcripts, court records. Pictures, recordings.

Unequivocal things…” Rabbi Elyahu added.

Rabbi Amichai Eliyahu (son of Rabbi Shmuel Eliyahu) uploaded a video to Facebook in which he testifies that 4 years ago a woman approached him who said that Walder had abused her. She did not want to file a complaint with the police.

He said that after the publication of Haaretz’s report, many people reached out to his father, who presides over a court that deals with issues of sexual assault, with their personal accounts which revealed a similar pattern.

Harav Eliyahu Jr. went further and published the photo of a verdict he had received from a Beth Din regarding a case in which a woman had committed adultery with Walder which had resulted in divorce. He posted the photo, while blurring the text, but exposing the line in which the sentence appears: “Forbidden to her husband and to Chaim W.” According to Eliyahu, similar stories continue to surface, and reveal a clearly troubling pattern of sexual abuse and misconduct on a massive scale.

8

PEOPLE SPEAK

DECEMBER 2021

WALDER’S RESPONSE AS PUBLISHED IN HAARETZ Chaim Walder’s lawyers, Miki Gova and Guy Shemer, responded on his behalf: “Our client denies with disgust any allegation of misconduct on his part, let alone what is detailed in the article. These are false allegations based on a blatant lie that amount to a real blood libel. Mr. Walder is a writer and educational consultant who founded the ‘Center for Family and Children’ in Bnei Brak and has devoted his life for decades to promote, nurture and protect the welfare and rights of children in general and in the ultra-Orthodox sector in particular. His work earned him the “Child

Protector Award” granted by the Prime Minister.”

“Over the years Mr. Walder has waged battles on behalf of children who have suffered violence and abuse, and as a result he has made some powerful enemies who set out a goal of destroying him. We have evidence of some deliberate attempts to falsely incriminate our client. This article is a direct continuation of the same false complaint filed against him many years ago that resulted in no charges.”

“Mr. Walder is an ultra-Orthodox man and therefore has never treated minor girls or women and certainly has not signed a nondisclosure agreement of any kind, and any such claims will be easily debunked.”

“As part of his efforts to fight for his reputation, our client voluntarily underwent a polygraph test which supported his denial of all those allegations. Our client is determined not to allow those who seek to harm him to succeed and will fight for his good name with all the legal means at his disposal.”

DECEMBER 2021

PEOPLE SPEAK

9

BUT HOW IS IT POSSIBLE?

Most people are good.

They want to believe that this world is good.

So when such a story surfaces, it’s hard to come to terms with. Many will unfortunately prefer to believe that it didn’t happen.

But that is harmful to victims and survivors.

SO WHAT DO WE ANSWER? 10

PEOPLE SPEAK

DECEMBER 2021

“But the case was closed due to lack of evidence.”

True, but “for lack of evidence” does not mean “for lack of guilt”.

Anyone with the basic legal knowledge knows that closing a case due to lack of evidence does not at all indicate that the suspect is innocent.

Due to the nature of sexual crimes, it’s often very difficult to produce evidence. In fact, out of all complaints initially filed about sexual assault, less than 20 percent mature to the point of filing an indictment. Most cases are closed due to lack of evidence.

Bringing evidence in cases of sexual assault is extremely difficult, The nature of such acts is that they are done in secret, and many times there is no one who can testify except the victims themselves.

Does it still make sense to conclude that closing a case indicates the suspect’s innocence?

Specifically in the case of Walder, it should be noted that most of the alleged victims did not contact the police at all for understandable reasons.

“But the polygraph!”

We have addressed this previously, but the irony is glaring here: it seems that some of those who rely so much on the legal system and refuse to exercise any extra-judicial discretion yet are somehow ok with relying on on a measure that the legal system has long recognized its flaws and isn’t accepted as evidence in most courts of law today.

Furthermore, if you do trust a polygraph, why not trust the polygraph that the complainant went through and was found to be telling the truth? As mentioned, that journalist Aron Rabinovitz has also tested one of the alleged victims with a polygraph and she was found to be truthful.

DECEMBER 2021

PEOPLE SPEAK

11

“If it happened, why didn’t they go to the police?”

Victims who muster up the courage and mental strength to complain are forced to go through grueling stages: first a detailed police interrogation. Then, if there is no clear evidence they can be asked to face the suspect.

If they agree to this, they find themselves sitting in front of their abuser, and in the presence of strangers getting exposure to the most intimate details of their lives. In such a confrontation the abuser may use verbal abuse that forces them to relive their trauma and scar them even further.

If the complainants are granted that the case is not closed and an charges are being pressed, they are still required to go

through a grueling trial in which they have to present evidence and undergo further investigations.

In court, victims are asked very detailed questions about the sexual assault, questions that deal with their intimate body parts, sometimes in an attempt to show that the relationship was consensual.

If that is not difficult enough, the suspect’s defense lawyers sometimes resort to personal attacks to diminish the victim’s credibility, so even if they ultimately get to a measure of justice it comes with a high price and is an extremely difficult process.

Due to all of this, many victims, perhaps most of them, choose not to contact the police at all.

In light of this, can we really rely solely on the authorities and the courts to eradicate sexual abuse from among us?

First, let’s be honest, do you expect such a story to be published in an Orthodox newspaper?

Denying the story because of the medium it was published in is not just irrational, but also very dangerous.

“Haaretz is an anti-cheradi newspaper?”

First, newspaper investigations are one of the important tools for fighting sexual abuse. It’s the only way for victims to tell their story without fear of being exposed. If we take away this tool, our society to doomed to moral decay, in which pedophiles and sex offenders thrive because of to the wall of silence.

Second, a journalist who dares to make up stories is exposed to a libel suit. His bosses also know this, so it is likely that the publication has high standards of verifications in such stories.

Third, Aharon Rabinovitz said in an interview with the that he was offered large sums of money to halt the publication on the Walder story, and he immediately reported this to his superiors in the newspaper.

12

PEOPLE SPEAK

DECEMBER 2021

“Innocent until proven guilty” Yes, this principle is extremely important, but only in a court of law. Judges cannot - and should not - convict when there is no clear evidence, so the presumption of innocence is important from the point of view of the law. On the social level, on the other hand, it is impossible to utter this sentence without actually taking a position that denies the complainants’ presumption of innocence! When such stories are published in the media, and we, the public, decide not to believe them because of the presumption of innocence of the suspect, we actually label the complainants as liars.

It’s inescapable: any position that claims the suspect’s innocence is a position that in the same breath accuses the complainants of lying, defames their name and slanders them. So, ask yourself why the presumption of innocence of the suspect is more important to you than the presumption of innocence of the complainants.

“But what about false accusations?”

False complaints about sexual assault are a serious, outrageous phenomenon, but also statistically extremely rare.

It is nearly impossible to slander someone with a false complaint without risking a libel suit.

Statistically, the chances that your child will be sexually assaulted is several times higher, compared to the chance that he will be the victim of a false claim.

So let’s be real: which phenomenon is more important to eradicate so that your son will not be harmed: the extremely marginal possibility or the phenomenon that is several times more common?

In general, some people throw around the term “false complaint” as if it’s a widespread phenomenon, so it’s hard to believe that those people really care about that remote possibility but are rather using it to protect actual sexual offenders.

DECEMBER 2021

PEOPLE SPEAK

13

“To write against Walder is extrajudicial assassination.”

NO. Taking a public stand on social media or in the media, is not by any stretch considered an assassination. It has no power to convict or deprive a person of his liberty. It can indeed harm the name of a person who has so far made a living off his reputation, and is now suspected of horrific abuse that indicates that he used the public innocence and his good name to do harm. So, exposing such a person is a necessary first step to avoid further harm.

It’s not just ok, It’s our duty to do just that. it’s our duty and a Mitzva of ‫לא תעמוד על דם רעך‬ - don’t stand idly by when others are in danger.

In case he is fact innocent, all that happens is that he is tasked with clearing his name.

Given the overwhelming danger in NOT exposing potential abusers, this is minimal price to pay in order to keep society safer.

One of the reasons the fight against sexual abuse is so hard is precisely because of that: sexual predators are seemingly “normal” people.

How is it possible that such a “good ” person is an abuser?

We don’t know what happens in a person’s life that leads him to unleash the darkness within him. only Hashem knows that.

All the good virtues we have, the Torah we have learned, all the commandments we have kept, do not prevent a person from doing evil. If he has dark instincts of wanting to harm children, and does not take care of himself, he will reach a state where he allows his instincts to take over.

A person who harms children is not necessarily someone who hates children and seeks to harm them. He may have two sides. One side that really cares about the well-being of children, and another side, very dark, in which he does not think about the consequences when his evil inclinations take over.

Some people love Walder and feel heartbroken, they want to believe that it’s all a plot and lies. But it’s important to resort to the voice of reason that it is highly unlikely, given all the facts, that all those stories are fabricated.

Public figures who have a great reputation, can sometimes use their good name and the ignorance of the public, to evade punishment. Let’s not be the public that allows them to do that.

14

PEOPLE SPEAK

DECEMBER 2021

THE TEDIOUS LEGAL PROCESS THAT VICTIMS FACE

1 4

2

File a complaint with the police and testify. It is recommended to be accompanied by a professional for guidance and emotional support.

Police opens an investigation and collect evidence (may take months).

Police hands over the findings to prosecutors to determine the next step.

5

Prosecutors review the case and decide if their is sufficient evidence.

If it rises to the level of an indictment it is brought in front of a judge.

7

Sexual felons almost never admit, so it’s a tedious process of providing evidence.

With hearings concluded, the judge or jury gives their verdict of guilty or not guilty.

At this stage nearly 80% of cases are dismissed due to “lack of evidence”.

6

At this step, the victim is subjected to cross-examination when the goal of the defendant is to diminish their credibilty.

9

3

10

8

If convicted, the judge determines the exact sentence

DECEMBER 2021

PEOPLE SPEAK

15

LET YOUR KIDS SPEAK

A CONNECTED CHILD IS A SAFER CHILD

As parents, it is our duty to talk to our children about safety, but it is equally important to LISTEN to our children and be involved in their daily lives.

Research indicates that uninvolved parents have their children at greater risk from predators. When a predator intuits that their target doesn’t have with whom to share their plight, they are more likely to harm them.

A child with a close relationship with their parents is a safer child.

LISTEN INTENTLY. Make space for your child to talk about the minor details of their lives. Encourage them to tell you about anything that’s on their mind.

It is highly recommended to set aside a set time – once a week or more – to inquire about their lives. We can ask them to tell us something good and bad that happened this week and show empathy when they’re going through something.

We can encourage our kids to open up through shared activities like drawing or playing which can make it more comfortable for them to share.

Show them that they matter: Listen actively and pay attention, make loving eye contact and be fully present.

In the following page there are some examples of how we can talk to our kids about safey.

16

PEOPLE SPEAK

DECEMBER 2021

Teach them about their body.

“Sweetie, we have parts of our body that are private. We don’t show those parts to anyone, not even friends.”

Teach them that some people may pose a danger.

“Most people are good and kind, but some want to do bad things to little children. If someone does something to you and tells you not to tell your parent, you can tell us and nothing will happen. we will make sure you are always safe and protected”

Assure them they can share with you any secrets.

“Even if someone told you to keep a secret, you can tell us. We will make sure that you are safe, you will never get in trouble for sharing a secret with your parents.”

Assure them that they won’t get in trouble.

“Don’t worry, I will never ever be mad at you for sharing something that happened to you.

When someone offers you candy, always tell us.

“We will let you keep the candy, but it’s very important that we always know who offers you candy.”

DECEMBER 2021

PEOPLE SPEAK

17

HELP IS THERE, A PHONE CALL AWAY:

Za’akah An organization committed to fight sexual abuse in the Orthodox community.

888-492-2524

Amudim Amudim will be there for you to help you in the process of recovery. Don’t hesitate to reach out.

646-517-0222

Magenu Provides educational materials to parents and schools on child safety and abuse prevention.

855-magenu1

BEFORE WE GO...

The safety of our children is in your hands.

If you feel this booklet has helped you understand something, please spread the word and share.

LET THERE BE LIGHT