January 2019
Update Stories From Your Favorite Families over the last 11 Years!
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At Pediatric Dental Associates and Orthodontics you’ll discover that we go the extra mile for our patients! From the moment you see our office, you’ll know what we mean. We have a fully themed environment that is comforting and fun for your children. We offer preventive, restorative, and orthodontic services for kids ages 0-18. We also specialize in dental care for children with special needs.
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We accept all insurances and we are in-network with Delta Dental, Cigna, Blue Cross Blue Shield, ARKids, Delta Dental Smiles, and MCNA. January 2019
The
Family KIMBERLY ENDERLE Editor-in-Chief editor@peekaboonwa.com | 479-957-0532
JONATHON ENDERLE Creative Director jon@peekaboonwa.com | 479-586-3890
Kim and Jonathon with Gwen, Holden, Grant and Ava Enderle. PHOTO BY ASHLEY MURPHY IMAGES
DISTRIBUTION/ CIRCULATION Joyce Whitaker Judy Evans Marcedalia Salinas
Jeremy Whitaker Michelle Dodson
Peekaboo Publications
FRANCES WILSON Assistant Editor
BEN LACY Dad’s View
Columnist
MEAGAN RUFFING Columnist
PO Box 1036 Bentonville, Arkansas 72712 Please send inquiries to: editor@peekaboonwa.com or call 479-957-0532 www.peekaboonwa.com Peekaboo may not be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher. Views expressed herein are those of the authors and advertisers, and do not necessarily reflect the opinion of the magazine.
PEEKABOO Northwest Arkansas accepts writing contributions
6 January 2019
DAVID HOVEY Story Design
ANA ORTIZ Social Media Photography
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JANUARY 2019
14 Update: Callie Anne by: Jamie Cook
14 20
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Update: Mavia Evenson By: Karrie Evenson
My Precious Cooper by: Kelli Jensen
Update: Callie Anne
30 38
by: Jamie Cook
A Must Watch: F.R.E.D.I by: Danielle Keller
22
Update: Kinsley
26
Dad’s View: Role Play
28
38
42 44
by: Caroline Dockery
with Ben Lacy
Help Your Child Make Their Own New Year’s Resolutions: 6 Tips to Encourage their Big Ideas
50
with Meagan Ruffing
On the Cover
Callie Anne Cook, age 6, Centerton Photo by: Lazer Lee Photography
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54 60
The Silent Thief of Sight by: Michelle Smith
Update: Mavia Evenson by: Karrie Evenson
Saving Money: Kid-Style with Meagan Ruffing
Weight Loss Surgery Offers New Hope! Become a New You in the New Year with Northwest Health
Update: The Smith Family by: Allison Smith
Update: My Precious Cooper by: Kelli Jensen
Potty Training by: Stacy Hall
lazerleephotography.com On location at: Markham & Fitz Chocolate markhamandfitz.com
10 January 2019
Clothing Provided by Dillard’s in Rogers
Cover Sponsored by: Northwest Health www.northwesthealth.com
High quality child care looks like High quality child care looks like
SCIENCE. SCIENCE.
Children learn through experience. They experiment andthrough observe,experience. then experiment Children learn They some more. They are problem-solving, and it’s fun.some experiment and observe, then experiment more. They are problem-solving, and put it’s fun. Playing with sand and water, children the laws ofPlaying motionwith intosand action. They learn aboutput cause and water, children theand laws effofect. motion into action. They learn about cause and
Quality caregivers abide by this law of nature: hands-on learning abide lasts. by this law of nature: Quality caregivers hands-on learning Visit our website to lasts. find quality child care that helps your child discover sciencechild while having Visit our website to find quality care that fun. helps your child discover science while having fun.
effect.
States of Matter States of Matter Matter is anything that has weight and takes up space. States of matter is a term that refers to the physical form of everything around us, such as liquid, solid or gas. Scientist and mathematician, Sir Isaac Newton, discovered the laws of motion. Newton is considered one of the most influential scientists of all times. Matter is anything that has weight Cornstarch goop, quicksand, ketchup andslime takesare upall space. States of matter and “non-Newtonian” is a term refers to the physical fluids. Theythat do not follow Newton’s form everything around us, such laws ofof how true fluids act. These as liquid, solid or gas. fluids act like solids or liquids
Crazy Cornstarch Goop Crazy Cornstarch Goop
depending on the pressure youSir Scientist and mathematician, apply how you move it around. IsaacorNewton, discovered the laws of motion. Newton is considered one of Cornstarch goop is sometimes called the most influential scientists of all Oobleck. Oobleck gets its name from times. the Dr. Seuss book Bartholomew and Place 1/2 cup of cornstarch into a bowl. Add about a 1/4 cup of water and Cornstarch goop, it quicksand, ketchup stir. Keep adding water and stirring until the mixture looks like thick pancake the Oobleck. Check out. and slime are all “non-Newtonian” batter. Adding food coloring is optional. fluids. They do not follow Newton’s laws ofThis howactivity true fluidsisact. notThese How to Play fluids act like solidsfor or liquids recommended children • Poke the goop hard with your finger. What does it feel like? depending on theyears pressure you under three of age. • What does it feel like when you slowly stick your finger into the goop? apply or howplease you move it around. Parents, supervise • Scoop some goop into your hand. What happens? Can you hold it? all experiments with young Cornstarch goop is sometimes called • Pour goop onto a hard (washable) surface. What happens? Can you push it children. with your finger? Oobleck. Oobleck gets its name from the Dr. Seuss book Bartholomew and Place 1/2 cup of cornstarch into a bowl. Add about a 1/4 cup of water and the Oobleck. Check it out. stir. Keep adding water and stirring until the mixture looks like thick pancake
Division of Child Care and Early Childhood Education Division of Child Care and Early Childhood Education
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batter. Adding food coloring is optional. NOTE: Do not put cornstarch Cornstarch goop dries to a powder and be vacuumed goop down the sink. Dispose This can activity is not How to Play fromrecommended carpet or brushed from of it in the trash. for children • Poke the goop hard with your finger. What does it feel like? clothing. under three years of age. • What does it feel like when you slowly stick your finger into the goop? Parents, please supervise • Scoop some goop into your hand. What happens? Can you hold it? allClick experiments young Library. here to visitwith our Resource You’ll findonto activities tips to help you prepare your child foryou life.push it • Pour goop a hardand (washable) surface. What happens? Can children. with your finger?
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Cornstarch goop dries to a powder and can be vacuumed from carpet or brushed from clothing.
NOTE: Do not put cornstarch goop down the sink. Dispose of it in the trash.
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If you have a story to share, or an idea for a story, email editor@peekaboonwa.com and be a part of the Peekaboo family!
From the Editor
HERE IS A LOOK AHEAD! _____________________________ FEBRUARY is our 11th birthday... which means it’s going to be the biggest and best birthday guide yet! Do you have a business that helps make birthday parties great? Email editor@ peekaboonwa.com by January 10th to make sure you are included! MARCH is our annual nonprofit spotlight issue. We want to share as many nonprofits as we can, and show all the good they do for our community. Additionally, make sure to check out the spring break guide in this issue!
L
ast month, I picked the kids up from school and drove the short distance to the gas station around the corner, as my car’s gas guage had been on “empty” for way too long. I turned off the car, and pulled my credit card out of my wallet. I pushed all the buttons on the gas pump, cringed at the cost for the premium gas that my car manual demanded, and then put the nozzle into the tank - just like I had done a thousand times before. I reached into the car, and put my credit card back into my wallet before grabbing all of our empty cups and tossing them in the trash can. I then proceeded to get back into the driver seat, started the car, and drive away. Cue loud, obnoxious noise! I didn’t look in my rear view mirror, instead asking my oldest what just happened. “Well, Mom, you were still pumping gas, and now the hose is attached to our car and not the gas pump.” Cue my worst fears playing out in my head. I was sure the entire fuel pump had been pulled down by the force of my car going from 0-5mph, I could have bet money that flames were shooting up all around the gas station now, and the fire trucks and news vans were on their way. Instead, a sweet older gentleman pulled up next to me, rolled down his window and said, “Umm... I think you forgot something. Just take the hose out, roll it up and sit it next to the pump and I will go tell them inside.”
So, with my kids laughing hysterically, I did just that. I did the walk of shame, with every other gas-getter watching. I watched the sweet attendant bring an orange cone to block off the pump, and accept my wave when I mouthed “I’m so sorry!” It was official. Not only was my gas tank on empty, but I was on empty as well. My brain was officially at max capacity, and no longer had room for simple details like driving away from gas stations with the nozzle still attached (with only $4 of gas pumped, instead of the $60 I needed). The thing is – it wasn’t the 18-monthold baby who has yet to sleep more than a four hour stretch, or the 101 holiday activities that had left me feeling “empty” (although a full night’s sleep would be amazing!) It was letting the little things get to me. It was offering grace to everyone around me except to myself. During the busiest time of the year, instead of loosening the grip on my expectations of perfection (mostly of myself), I had grabbed on tighter. My whole goal in life is to be there for my kids, to be open to them when they need something, big or small, and to always show them how to handle situations and themselves in a manner that is positive, pure, and with confidence. The problem is, I was so busy getting lost in my own stresses of not being the perfect parent, person, friend, spouse, helper, etc., that I was no longer able to help others or my
own family in the way I wanted. “Mommy brain” is one thing, but that day I drove away from the gas pump, I knew that I needed to start letting myself sit quietly and refuel from time to time in order to make it from one goal to the next with ease and grace. For a person who always wants to look like she has it all together, walking across a parking lot with a gas hose rolled up in your arms is NOT the way to do it--trust me!
of the most amazing moms, dads and kids in NWA, and giving them a voice and a platform in print. We also love collaborating with great businesses. Our cover includes clothing donated by Dillard’s in Rogers at the Promenade Mall, as well as photography by the great Lazer Lee Photography on location at the new Markham & Fitz Chocolate Factory, Dessert Bar and Cafe, located at the 8th Street Market in Bentonville.
There is no better way to start off 2019 than with a good goal... check. And with a wonderful issue of Peekaboo... double check.
Just because I have resolved to find time to sit quietly this year, it doesn’t mean big things aren’t happening! Starting this month, readers will have the opportunity to not only read about the families and businesses spotlighted in each issue, but will also have the chance to watch them online. Just follow VIPtv on Facebook and YouTube to hear directly from families in our magazine each month.
One of the most popular parts of this magazine are the people who share their stories each month, so it is always fun each new year to revisit a few of those families and get an update. This “update issue” includes stories from five families who have shared their journeys with us throughout the last 11 years, including our cover model, Callie Anne. Our cover model embodies my favorite part about publishing Peekaboo each month – getting to meet some
Welcome to 2019! I have a feeling this year is going to be the best year yet!
Kim Enderle
peekaboonwa.com
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U PDAT E :
Callie
e n An by: Jamie Cook headline photo: Sorella Photography
T
hough it sounds cliché, it is just the honest truth: parenting is the hardest and most rewarding job ever. Even in the best of circumstances, we are all just learning as we go, and praying that we do our part to raise a kind, loving, and happy child. The world is getting more complicated by the day, and meeting those changing parenting expectations seems like a more daunting task all the time. Perhaps the most challenging part in my eyes is the number of factors which are out of our control. As much as we would like to, we can’t shelter our children from the struggles they face in their daily lives. We can’t be with them to prompt them to make the right decision when things get hard, and we certainly can’t keep them from hurting, failing, or making mistakes. However, we 14 January 2019
can arm them with the tools to be decent humans. We can teach them with intentionality to be kind to others, how to respond in difficult situations, and how to love themselves for exactly who they are. When our daughter, Callie Anne, was born with a rare craniofacial condition called Apert Syndrome, my husband and I were thrown into a world of uncertainty. We didn’t know the first thing about how to be parents, let alone parents of a child with such significant differences. Those first few years were full of surgeries to correct physical abnormalities, therapies to help her meet the necessary milestones, and us navigating our way through our new normal. While the medical side of being Callie Anne’s parents was an obvious challenge from the start, the social aspects were
www.peekaboonwa.com/meet-callie-anne
harder than we anticipated. It was difficult to take our sweet baby girl out in public without stares and often hurtful comments from strangers. We were faced with a real struggle balancing our unconditional love for her with the harsh world outside our family. It was shortly after she turned two years old that we decided it was our charge in life to prepare Callie Anne for the curiosity of others, and to do our part to teach people the importance of looking past physical appearances. We began speaking to students in elementary and middle schools about the importance of kindness, based on the message in the book Wonder by R.J. Palacio, in addition to sharing our story through local media. At that time, we were working to teach school-aged kids how to be kind and accepting of those who are different than them. Callie Anne was too young to notice her differences, and we just wanted to get ahead of the issues she would face later on. While we have always known that we can’t protect her from the world, we felt good knowing that we were doing our small part to
bring the conversations to light and make curiosity acceptable, because we often shy away from what we don’t understand. In the meantime, we did all we could at home to teach Callie Anne to be a strong, self-aware little girl. In August 2018, Callie Anne started kindergarten. The time had flown by, and the moment I had dreaded since the day she was born had come. Suddenly, all the preparatory work we had done didn’t seem like enough, because the time had actually come. We were going to be sending our daughter to school with absolutely no way to protect her from the curiosity and judgment of her peers. We had always known that school would be a challenging time for both Callie Anne and us because of her differences, and the fact that she now understood when people made hurtful comments about her appearance. One thing we weren’t STORY CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE
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U PDAT E : prepared for was how hard she would be on herself. She quickly became frustrated with her differences--that she had to do some things a little differently than her peers. Writing and coloring are particularly difficult for her, because her hands get tired quicker than others due to her surgically-created fingers, which don’t bend. Her speech isn’t always easy to understand because of her facial structure and cleft palate. But, her mind is sharp, and she doesn’t like that her body cannot always keep up with what her brain wants to do. The shift in the main issue caught us by surprise. Our focus had always been on how others see her, but it quickly changed to how she sees herself. Watching her find her way around all those challenges and frustrations was humbling. She showed us that she’s pretty good at taking care of and standing up for herself! Seeing her navigate her way through those first weeks of kindergarten with all the new experiences and frustrating situations just proved that she was stronger than we ever imagined. We had always wanted to change how others saw her, but we began to think maybe that’s not the most important part. Maybe teaching her to love and see the best in herself is the best tool we can give her. While we had a new outlook on the whole situation, we also knew that there was still a need to keep those lines of communication open and to make people aware of her differences. We had always seen that by being completely transparent, we were able to take away some of the curiosity about her differences and help people see past her outward appearance to get to know the real Callie Anne. We sent a letter to the parents of Callie Anne’s 16 January 2019
kindergarten peers as a way of introducing her and taking away some of the mystery of her differences. The letter explained her syndrome and some things that she does differently, but also highlighted ways that she is exactly like any other kindergartener. The feedback was outstanding! I received dozens of emails thanking us for sharing about her and for helping them start those conversations at home. We believe it’s important to discuss appropriate reactions to those who are different in a safe place, such as at home. Children typically don’t intend to hurt someone’s feelings by reacting in a negative way. Having these discussions at home are an easy way to make a big change. We know that the struggles will not go away and, as she gets older and has more corrective surgeries that change her appearance, we will have to continue to build her self-esteem. However, seeing her strength, and watching students of all ages embrace her for who she is, has made it all seem more manageable. We will always fight for our daughter to be seen as the best version of herself, and not as a child with a disability, but maybe the fight won’t be as hard as we first imagined. My husband and I are growing right alongside Callie Anne, and we are figuring out how to handle situations as they come up. There will always be people who are unkind, but there is truly more goodness out there than bad. Parenting is hard, but when we raise our children with intentionality, they often surprise us!
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M U S T V I S I T:
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he Rogers Historical Museum’s expansion effort to provide more exhibitions, larger educational space, room for special events, community gathering space, and state-of-the-art storage space is finally complete! Come to 313 S. 2nd Street and check out our new Children’s Gallery. This enlarged gallery, full of hands-on activities, allows those of all ages to explore history. “Grandma’s House” features a 1950s recreation kitchen, decorated in the popular turquoise color of the period, and allows visitors to cook a meal while others play games. “Grandpa’s Workshop” allows visitors to build a log cabin with dove-tail joints, or build any type of building they want with blocks. The “Telegraph & Telephone” building allows visitors to place a call through a switchboard to the other buildings in the Children’s Gallery, or use the telegraph to send a message to a neighbor using Morse code. And, finally, the recreation of the original Rogers Public High School features a slide reminiscent of the fire escape slide on the back of the building.
at the Hawkins House, you can also play in “Grandma’s Attic”. This original hands-on room of the museum has also been left untouched, except for getting a full cleaning. The museum will be open Monday through Saturday from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Historic tours of the Hawkins House will be on the hour, with the last beginning at 4 p.m.
Don’t forget to take a tour of the 1895 Hawkins House. This piece of the museum was left untouched during the renovations, and features the best look at life in Rogers from 1900-1910 as you step back in time with a guided tour. While
DeLeon and Primmer Architecture Workshop, Hight Jackson Associates, and Nabholz Construction worked together, thanks to a grant from the Walton Family Design Excellence Program, to blend the historic half of the building
18 January 2019
GRANDMA’S HOUSE
with the new, revitalizing this unique architectural piece in downtown Rogers. We were selected as one of three pilot projects for the Walton Family Design Excellence Program, which has the intent of elevating design in the region by bringing grantees in touch with world class architects who will creatively motivate the design quality of projects. The interior of the building includes six new gallery spaces telling the story of Northwest Arkansas, from the landscape in which it sits, to the changes brought by Beaver Dam and a look at our area today. Aside from the main galleries, we have a large community gathering space, a rotating collections gallery, and the Northwest Arkansas Woodcarvers display case.
RECREATION OF RHS WITH SLIDE
GRANDPA’S WORKSHOP
With help from the Walton Family Foundation, the Walton Family Foundation Design Excellence Program, the City of Rogers, the Tyson Foundation, the National Endowment for the Humanities Grant, the Institute of Museum and Library Services Grant, Arkansas General Improvement Fund grants from Representative Carnine and Senator Bledsoe, and numerous donors from across the country, the entire construction project for the newly enlarged museum campus was completed on time. This enlarged campus will allow the museum to achieve their goal of doing more for all the people of Northwest Arkansas.
322 South Second Street 479-621-1154 * rogershistoricalmuseum.org
Now Open
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F. R . E . D. I
NOW ON NETFLIX
by: Danielle Keller
I
“... more people need to see this film. My family needs to see this film. My friends need to see this film. Their kids and friends.”
love movies. Growing up, movie night was a staple in our home. Family movie night was typically on the weekend and often included pizza and pajamas. We would head out to our local video rental store, pick out a couple of movies, something just for the kids, something just for mom and dad, and always, a movie we could watch as a family. If we didn’t get a chance to see it on the big screen, we were likely going to watch it in our living room. Some of my favorite movie night memories include The Princess Bride, Big, Flight of the Navigator, A League of Their Own, E.T., The Neverending Story, Labrinth, Back to the Future, Goonies, Newsies, Indiana Jones, My Girl, Home Alone, Mrs. Doubtfire, Adventures in Babysitting, The Karate Kid, and so many more! And some of these we watched over and over. Likely annoying our mom, asking to rewind and quoting lines everywhere we went! This love of movies grew and developed throughout my life, leading to a bachelor’s degree in cinema, and a return to making films, mostly documentary, here in Northwest Arkansas. And while technology has changed, (and will continue to do so), the experience that comes from watching a movie with others, especially on a family movie night, has not. So, as a parent, local filmmaker, and overall fan of movies, I was incredibly excited about the film FREDI. Not only was it set against the backdrop of my hometown, Bentonville, utilized local talent, crew, friends and colleagues, but the story is engaging, family friendly and feels like an homage to the 80’s and 90’s feelgood flicks from my, well, our, childhood. The first time I saw FREDI was during the Bentonville Film Festival. What a treat to attend a screening in
the town the movie was made, and alongside other locals just as excited. There was cheering, laughter and an overall positive response. It was clear they chose the right location for FREDI. When the Executive Producer and CEO of Skipstone Pictures visited Bentonville for the first time he was wowed by the town as it reminded him of the Back to the Future set. During preproduction, our producer Johnny Remo attended the Bentonville Film Festival with a film, “Saved By Grace” and fell in love with the area. I visited shortly after and felt the same. NWA had so much to offer, unique locations, the town square, Cooper Chapel and Crystal Bridges to name a few places. The people were also amazing, and very supportive of filming in the area. We worked with local film crews, students at John Brown University and the University of Arkansas in the making of FREDI.” As FREDI opens with an aerial shot of Crystal Bridges, you might get goosebumps or like my six year old son, you might yell out, “Mommy, that’s Crystal Bridges!” You will see and hear many familiar faces, names and locations. The Bentonville square, Phat Tire, Arvest, The Station Cafe, Old High among many other hotspots from NWA and maybe even your neighbor, sister or lady you sit behind at church. Through conversations and interviews about FREDI, the abundant impression received was how wonderful, nice, warm and fuzzy the people in Arkansas were and continue to be. But it doesn’t stop there, as NWA’s state of the art talent, crew, and facilities matched that of what Executive Producer Remo has come to expect from projects made in California.
One major contributing factor was the collaboration with Rockhill Studios of Fayetteville, led by Mother-Son team, Kerri and Blake Elder, was instrumental in the production of FREDI according to Olson, “they (Kerri and Blake Elder of Rockhill) set us up with local crew members and helped us in a number of ways behind the scenes in securing some of our locations. We also worked with Mark Landon Smith of Actors Casting Agency to audition and hire local actors and background for FREDI.” Kerri Elder of Rockhill said, “It’s always great when films made in Arkansas showcase our extraordinary area and talented professional crew and cast. Rockhill is committed to building the Digital Media industry in our state and FREDI was a positive film with a positive impact on Northwest Arkansas.” As a local filmmaker, I can honestly say that Rockhill Studios is leading the way, on a professional level as pointed out my Mark Landon Smith of ACA, “Through FREDI and other projects, producers are looking at NWA more carefully. And with Kerri Elder, Blake Elder and Rockhill Studios being the force and the company where all elements of film making may be found under one roof.” The work coming out of our local universities, especially JBU, local high schools, Fayetteville Public Television, Silver Spark Productions, NWA Alive and other independent film groups, we are really seeing an increase of quality production here in NWA. Personally, I think it’s a very exciting time for NWA. And I believe many others would agree. As I sat there watching FREDI at the Bentonville Film Festival, I kept thinking, more people need to see this film. My family needs to see this film. My friends need to see this film. Their kids and friends. We need to see this film because it’s sometimes hard to find a good family film that we don’t sit awkwardly through or cringe because it’s tainted with themes a little too mature for our Kindergartener. We need to see this film because it supports local filmmaking. We need to see this film because the voice of FREDI is Candace Cameron Bure and we all (well most of us anyway) love her. From Full House to Hallmark Christmas movies. Hearing her voice brought a flood of nostalgia that made me smile. Olson describes the experience as director quite well, “It’s very rare that you get to make a movie like FREDI. It’s the genre of film that I’ve always wanted to make, a throwback to movies that the entire family can get together and watch. Seeing FREDI with an audience in NWA (during the Bentonville Film Festival) was a very special experience, we heard cheers when the audience saw their hometown on the big screen, and the feedback has been very positive. We’ve
had a lot of parents thanking us for making a family film without violence, bad language or sexual situations, and that’s something we take great pride in.” FREDI follows James, a teenager who discovers a robot, voiced by Candace Cameron Bure, and we watch them go on an adventure of discovery, trust and friendship. It is the perfect cumulation of all those movies we used to watch. Smith sums this up well, “FREDI is one of those films you can watch over and over. It’s family friendly with a positive message and heartfelt moments put together by a terrific team of creatives.” During the Bentonville Film Festival, FREDI won best of Fest, propelling the film forward into distribution. And while we don’t find this surprising, Olson had this to say, “Winning Best of Fest was totally unexpected and very humbling. FREDI was a very challenging film to make, and I poured my heart and soul into the movie, and to be recognized by the community was very touching. This is an award that we share with our cast, crew and the NWA community, all of which worked together to make FREDI.” With FREDI available to purchase on DVD, and streaming on Netflix, Rockhill Studios and Skipstone Pictures continue to move forward. Rockhill has a film To The Stars that was just accepted into Sundance Film Festival which they are rightly excited about. They continue to the pave the way locally with two episodic series in development and four feature films. “Commercially, Rockhill has an incredible team that should all the corporate sector to keep from outsourcing their visual media to other states. With people like Mark Landon Smith, who tirelessly and generously provide opportunities for our local talent, the future is very bright.” said Kerri Elder. And Skipstone has returned to the place of warm and fuzzy people, “My producer, Johnny Remo and I are back in NWA filming “Max Winslow and the House of Doom.” Five teenagers compete to win a mansion owned by entrepreneur and scientist Atticus Virtue. To win, the teens must face-off against a super computer name HAeL who controls the mansion. It’s a cross between Black Mirror, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and the Breakfast Club, where each of the five teens represents a modern high school arch-type, there’s a computer hacker, a blogger, an internet troll, a gamer and high school athlete. Following the tradition of FREDI, it’s a very family oriented movie,” stated Olson. So, go chill out with FREDI on Netflix, support local talent and plan that family movie night with pizza and pajamas! You won’t regret it! peekaboonwa.com
21
U PDAT E :
by: Caroline Dockery When you last heard from me in the April 2014 issue, I shared with you a story about my beautiful daughter, Kinsley, and how she had recently been diagnosed with Muscle-Eye-Brain Disease (MEB). MEB is a form of congenital muscular dystrophy, which also affects Kinsley’s brain and eyes. She had recently begun having seizures called infantile spasms. For a long time, Kinsley’s seizures were mostly controlled by her seizure medicines, and, while her prognosis was not great, Kinsley was making progress at her own rate, and bringing joy to all who knew her with her smile and giggles. She slowly made gains, learning to crawl at age 20 months and beginning to walk independently at age three and a half. While she never learned to speak, Kinsley was using PECs (Picture Exchange System) to communicate, some signs, and began to use a communication device to request a few things. Kinsley loved life. She had favorite toys, enjoyed books like Dinosaur vs. Bedtime by Bob Shea, and 22 January 2019
Cat the Cat Who is That? by Mo Willems. Kinsley loved swimming, being danced around, and would do anything to get to swing. She was a wonderful eater, eating anything we gave her to eat, but she especially loved milkshakes. While this may not seem like a lot to some, to us it was everything. Kinsley was happy, growing, learning, and enjoying life. We had many struggles, to be sure, but whenever she smiled, or learned something new, it made every hard struggle to get to that point more than worth it. At this point, you may be asking why I’m using the past tense, and, while I wish I could happily report on the continued amazing progress of Kinsley, sadly, I cannot. Thankfully, Kinsley is still healthy and here with us, and my prayer is that she will remain this way as long as God wills it. However, about two years ago, at nearly five years old, Kinsley’s seizures began to increase in number. She had never ceased having them, but what had once been a cluster of spasms once or twice a week that were annoying but not hurting her at all, grew
www.peekaboonwa.com/?s=kinsley into daily occurrences with the addition of drop seizures that caused her to fall and bruise her face on many occasions. We tried many different seizure medications, a new diet, and even had a Vagus Nerve Stimulator (VNS) implanted in her body all in an effort to lessen her amount of seizures. Heartbreakingly, while some things seemed to help a little bit or for a short time, nothing stuck. Her seizures continue to plague her on a daily basis, and the worst part is that infantile spasms cause something called hypsarrhythmia. Hypsarrhythmia means chaotic brain waves, and it is extremely detrimental to development. It causes regressions if not stopped, and this is exactly what has happened to Kinsley. Slowly, over the year following her increase in seizures, Kinsley lost her ability to walk, communicate with signs, feed herself, and, worst of all, much of her personality. So, why do I share this? It is not for pity or sympathy. I share this to tell the things that I have learned from Kinsley, and the blessings she has brought to our family through her life. What has Kinsley taught me? So many things. Kinsley is the most patient, hard-working, persevering, long-suffering, and beautiful girl. The first thing she has taught me is to never give up. Even now, with seizures bothering her constantly, Kinsley hasn’t given up on life. She tries her hardest to work through them. With help from her therapists, and also her own strong will, Kinsley is still able to walk short distances at times with a walker, or by holding hands. She can still hold her own cup, and drink from a straw. And just recently, all on her own, she has decided to start crawling, and pulling to stand again! After a year of not
doing any moving on her own other than rolling, she just got up and started going again, each day going slightly farther or longer. This girl does not give up, and therefore I will not either. I will never give up fighting for her, looking for cures, finding treatments to try, or providing whatever she may need to succeed. Thank you, Kinsley, for teaching me to never give up. The second thing Kinsley has taught me is to understand unconditional love. I don’t want this to sound wrong: it’s easy to love Kinsley. She is the prettiest, sweetest cuddler in the world, never disobeys or yells at me, and she is almost always calm and quiet. But taking care of Kinsley is a lot like caring for an infant year after year. She needs help with everything, including dressing, bathing, eating, and toileting. She used to be able to help me more with these things, but now I do most of the work. But, like I said, she has taught me about unconditional love. I’ve always known that God loves me unconditionally, but I’ve never understood that love. Why should He love imperfect, sinful me?
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U PDAT E :
Kinsley
But, having Kinsley helps me understand. Now, please understand, I know Kinsley is innocent and in no way do I find her to be anything but perfect, just as she is. I’d be lying, however, if I didn’t say it’s sometimes difficult to do all the things she needs me to. It’s a hard job, but I do it every day and would never trade it for anything, because I love her. Unconditionally. No questions asked. It’s not hard to love her. She is my daughter and I love her just as she is, which is exactly how the Father loves me. He loves me just as I am – just as I love Kinsley just as she is, forever. Does that mean that I don’t want better for her? I do. I strive to give her those things. Just as the Father has given His Son for me to save me from my imperfections. I’m so thankful Kinsley has taught me this beautiful understanding of unconditional love. The last thing I’ve learned from my Kinsley is that blessings come from difficulties. Personally, I hate MEB and what it has done to Kinsley. I often wonder and dream what life would be like for her if she didn’t have this horrible disease. I imagine her talking with me, playing games, helping her with her homework, or watching her play soccer; but, unfortunately, those are things that I will never get to do with her in this lifetime. However, I’ve been able to experience so many things with Kinsley that I wouldn’t have if she didn’t have MEB. Being thrust into the world of special needs wasn’t something I ever expected, but it is something I’m so grateful to have now been a part of. I’ve learned that a person’s value doesn’t come from his or her abilities, talents, or intelligence, as I once ignorantly believed. A person’s value comes just from being. Each person is beautiful and valuable just because they exist. God has created each of us with a soul that is worth loving. I used to be nervous to talk to or be around a person with special needs for fear of the unknown, but now my eyes have been opened. I have come to know that each child just wants to be talked to, given attention, and loved. I’ve also met so many amazing mothers who also have children with special needs and have learned so much from 24 January 2019
them. There is a whole community of women I know now that I wouldn’t without Kinsley. The greatest blessing having Kinsley and MEB has brought our family is our son, Seth. MEB is an autosomal recessive disease. This means that my husband Luke and I are both carriers of this condition, and any children we have together would have a one in four chance of being born with MEB. With that knowledge, we decided we would pursue adoption for any future children. As I began to look into different adoption options, a dear friend and former therapist of Kinsley’s told me about something called embryo adoption. I had never heard of it, but my interest was piqued when my friend told me I could be pregnant with a child that I adopted. I immediately researched and learned that there are thousands and thousands of babies who are literally frozen, waiting for their families and a chance at the life that has been begun for them. Families who have used in-vetro fertilization to start their families, but then have embryos left which they cannot or will not use for their own families, have decided to adopt them out through adoption agencies. After much discussion with Luke, many prayers, and a lot of research, we decided to pursue embryo adoption through the Snowflakes program and Nightlight Christian Adoptions. The process included a home study, adoption fees, a family profile, and waiting just like any other adoption. Eventually, a family chose our family to adopt their embryos. They were shipped to our fertility clinic in Tulsa where, in time, I went through two different frozen embryo transfers and, the second time around, I became pregnant with our son, Seth. Seth is now a rambunctious two-year-old who makes us laugh every day. He loves his sister, and he loves life. He is a blessing and gives our hearts comfort during the sadness of watching our Kinsley struggle with her seizures. So, what does the future hold for Kinsley and our family? Only God knows. I pray she will continue to be with us. I pray her seizures will go away. I pray for a cure. But, most of all, I pray Kinsley will continue to teach me and to teach others. And while I pray, I will continue to treasure each smile she gives, each cuddle we share, and every single day we have together, and find peace in knowing that this life is not the end for her. If God doesn’t heal her in this life, I know as He has promised, she will be whole, perfect, and healed in the next.
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25
DAD’SVIEW with
Ben Lacy
Role Play
S
o, there’s an old saying that heaven is where the cooks are French, the police are English, and the Germans build the cars, while in the, um, warmer southern location, the police are German, the French build the cars, and the English are the cooks. I’m not very worldly, but after traveling to London, I can tell you definitively that the Brits are not culinary champions. Also, I’ve got a kid going to college next year, so it would be none too smart to throw down a ton of Deutschmarks on a luxurious, fine-tuned German automobile. Frankly, I’m cool with any cop’s lineage as long as they’re cool with me ever so slightly fracturing the speed limit. My ancestry is predominately “Euro-mutt”; however, it doesn’t appear that I received any of the above traits. I can burn water, have the shooting accuracy of a Stormtrooper, and my only solution to any car complication is, “Put more gas in it.” The point of the story is: know your role. Do what you do. Play the part you are supposed to play. Honestly, I’m not sure who should be doing what in Europe, but, today, it appears some Americans (me) are having some trouble with role alignment. ‘Round here it used to be that kids were seen and not heard, parents ran the show, and grandparents spoiled the kids rotten. That formula kinda seemed to work. But now, the kids run the show, the parents spoil the kids rotten, and the grandparents are rarely seen or heard. Maybe it’s because we’re trying to use “new math”, but to me this formula seems to be floundering. Hopefully, you feel this whole silly view is rubbish and you can’t identify with me. I really hope that that is true. I also hope you are having coffee with friends at 2:00 p.m. this afternoon instead of sitting beside me in car line for an hour so your child can be first for pick up and doesn’t have to patiently wait for a few minutes. I hope your travels to
Tulsa this weekend are solely to see the grandparents, and not to Uber and Chick Fil-A your kid around to dance competition like me. Hopefully the fishing poles and golf clubs in your garage are in steady rotation, instead of you rotating all weekend to various soccer fields. In these situations, people often look to assess blame; so I will, while giving the easy target, the Millennials, a pass here. If they’ve always been shown they are in charge, and their time and activities are of the utmost importance, then how do you expect them to act? If you are over 25, by now you’ve learned that your parents are WAY smarter than you originally thought. Remember, a little older, a little wiser. Might be a good idea to let them be seen and heard, as they are also, in fact, your best natural resource for babysitting. Nope, the issue isn’t with the grey-haired grandparents. Quick story. So, last month, in the midst of the Christmas chaos, I saw a gift display at Target (Uh oh, I said the T-word…twice!) that had the cassette tape (yes, the cassette tape) of Guns ‘n Roses’ Appetite for Destruction for sale! The original release was my 15th birthday gift (quit trying to do the math in your head... I’m 46) and so, I stood there, reminiscing about those days and
baffled at how Target felt they were going to sell a cassette tape. Anyway, that time is vivid in my mind: the horrid mullet and hair metal days. I often hear myself and friends say, “It doesn’t seem like I’m any different now versus then.” And therein lies the problem. That’s not going to work. We’re now the adults. We’ve been
promoted – we’re the parents, the sergeants, the breadwinners, and the peacemakers, and we are no longer at the kiddie table. Peter Pan has left the building. Yes, that’s big and scary, but it’s also true. So, help me, and help you, and you help me help me, and also help me help you and you help you to know our roles and get this whole adult thing rolling this year. Share your story with me at benjaminjlacy.com
peekaboonwa.com
27
Help Your Child Make their Own New Year’s Resolutions:
6 Tips to Encourage their Big Ideas by: Meagan Ruffing
“Mom! Can we walk the dogs tomorrow?” my 9-year-old son Dylan yelled from the living room. We had just taken our two dogs, Tommy and Conner, on a walk on an unusually warm November day. I’ll admit, walking our dogs is not something we do a lot of. Mainly because they’re brothers, and they’re intent on tangling their leashes to the point of tripping all those involved in their walking. But, in an effort to spend more quality time with my kids, AKA less screentime, I opted for the challenge. The result was a beautiful, memory-making, hour-long walk that left me craving more time with my kids… and the dogs. When we got home and Dylan asked me if we could do it again tomorrow, it got me thinking. Why not make his request into a New Year’s resolution? “Dylan, I think that’s a great idea,” I said, “and you know what? We’re going to start doing this more often.” 28 January 2019
Later that day, the kids and I sat down to write out our resolutions for the New Year. It was something they were really interested in learning more about; specifically, what it meant to have an idea or a goal to work toward with the New Year coming up.
1. Explain what a New Year’s Resolution is. Start by getting a calendar
out and showing your kids the month of January. Having something tangible for your kids to touch, hold on to, and write on is much easier than trying to explain in theory. Better yet, head to the store and let your kids pick out their own calendars – suited to their personalities – and get them excited about learning how to make resolutions.
2. Start with a question. Ask your
children, “Is there something you want to try and do better in your life?” Or, “What’s something you’ve always wanted to try and do, but haven’t?” You may be surprised at their answers. Have them write down their ideas (or write them down for them if they are too young to write) and start a conversation.
3. Encourage and support their ideas. No matter how silly your child’s idea
for a resolution may be, cultivate their idea by supporting them with phrases like, “I love that idea!” Or, “I’ll help you with that by…[comment with how you can provide support].” When your kids feel like they’re being heard, and then you follow through with what they’ve said, they feel validated.
4. Make a New Year’s Resolution for the whole family. While each child can have their own, it’s nice to have one as a family. Walking our two dogs is going to be my family’s New Year’s Resolution, because it’s something that we can all do together and we’re all invested in.
P L A N N I N G R E T I R E M E N T* O N Your T E R M S .
5. Let your kids know that it’s okay if their New Year’s Resolutions fizzle out. Kids put a lot of
pressure on themselves. To avoid setting them up for disappointment before they’ve even attempted to tackle their resolution, let them know it’s okay if it changes, or turns out a bit different than they had first imagined. This is part of life.
6. Start with something small. If
your kids are on the younger side, like mine, start with something simple. It might be having them put their lunchboxes up on the counter every day after school, or saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ more often. New Year’s Resolutions don’t have to be these big, huge things to tackle. Think of them as small life lessons for you and your kids. You’ll be instilling in them wisdom beyond their years. Enjoy your kids and dive in to this New Year of endless possibilities. Be all that you want to be as a family. Kids first learn by seeing, so model good habits for them when making your own New Year’s Resolutions. You’ll be so glad that you did. Meagan Ruffing is a parenting journalist who enjoys tackling big life moments with her kids. She is knee-deep into her master’s program to be a clinical mental health counselor and marriage and family therapist. This was one of her New Year’s Resolutions that she is following through with. Follow her on Facebook at writermeaganruffing to read more of her parenting articles and for your free downloadable New Year’s Resolution template, visit www.meaganruffing.com.
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Member FDIC
The Silent Thief of Sight
by: Michelle Smith When my husband Mark accepted the position as defensive backs coach for the Arkansas Razorbacks football program, I knew that learning to call the Hogs was in my future. What I didn’t know was the impact our move to Northwest Arkansas would have on my glaucoma diagnosis. Two years ago, I, like most, did not even know what glaucoma was. It wasn’t until I was pregnant with my third child, at the age of 38, that I first heard the word – at least in a way that struck me right in the heart. While there are technical ways to explain glaucoma, the two phrases that immediately grabbed my attention were, “It could lead to irreversible blindness,” and “It is hereditary.” I was devastated to hear that I had already lost part of my peripheral vision, and there was nothing the doctors could do to get it back. Glaucoma is known as “the silent thief of sight,” with the average person losing more than 40 percent of their vision before even realizing they have the disease. I went home and called my mom. I remembered that she had been diagnosed with glaucoma. She was shocked to hear it was a hereditary disease – she didn’t even know to warn us. I have two younger brothers, so I called them immediately and stayed on top of them until they were checked for glaucoma. One is now being closely monitored for the disease. Learning about glaucoma piece by piece, and then
VOLD VISION
30 January 2019
coming to the realization that this could happen at any age, made me realize that I really needed to have my own children checked. Why would I wait? At their appointment, we discovered that one of them has high intra ocular pressure (IOP) – the thing doctors really pay attention to when monitoring glaucoma. As a mom, it’s one thing to face a diagnosis yourself and know that your own vision is in peril, but to know that your child will face that as well – that’s really difficult. The blessing is that we now know that our child’s pressures are high, and we can closely monitor and stay on top of it. We have a baseline for that child going forward and can always refer back to when that optic nerve was completely healthy. We did not discuss with our children the results of their exams. I asked if they had questions, and have an open door to the conversation, but for now, they are trusting that we are taking care of them. They are aware that we will continue to have regular eye exams and monitor their eyes just like we do with their well-visits each year at the pediatrician, plus regular dental visits. Our family will be intentional in setting a pattern for them about how to take care of their bodies. I want their mindset to be that a regular eye exam is just as important ian priority as their other doctor visits. And so, it is important for me to raise awareness that glaucoma is not “an older person’s disease,”
CallVoldVisionat479-442-8653toscheduleyouandyourfamily’sglaucomascreening.Thetestingan exam will only last about 15 minutes.
and especially for anyone that has it in their family. My message is to get tested, regardless of age.
GLAUCOMA FACTS
The month of January is National Glaucoma Awareness month, and I am partnering with Vold Vision, the Official Eye Care Provider of the Razorbacks, to get as many people screened as possible. They are offering FREE glaucoma screenings throughout the entire month.
+ The second leading cause of irreversible blindness, glaucoma is known as the “silent thief of sight,” as there are often no warning signs or symptoms.
As I look back at the last year, I know I am a blessed lady. My family has been welcomed into the Razorback family in an amazing way, and, with the help of Dr. Vold, my glaucoma is now under control, and I no longer have to take glaucoma drops in the eye that he performed surgery on. I was sitting in my house just last week, thinking, “This is the first time since my diagnosis that I actually forgot I had the disease. It’s a beautiful thing.” If one person hears my story and gets checked, or their family checked, or if just one person catches the disease in time, then that is a huge, huge thing for me personally. With my brother, my mother, my child and my personal diagnosis, I will share this message as often as I can to save others.
+ Glaucoma is a chronic potentially disease that requires life-long treatment. Currently, It is estimated that over 3 million Americans have glaucoma, but only half of those know they have it.
2.7 MILLION
PEOPLE IN THE U.S. HAVE
GLAUCOMA
50% KNOW IT
50% DON’T
+ 3.3 million Americans are expected to develop glaucoma by the year 2020. + Everyone is at risk for glaucoma, from babies to senior citizens. Approximately 1 out of every 10,000 babies born in the United States are born with glaucoma. Young adults can get glaucoma, too.
RESOLVE to make this a year of
AMAZING
EXPERIENCES! How many family play dates can you have this year? With an Amazeum membership, as many as you want. Join today at amazeum.org/join
amazeum.org 1009 Museum Way | Bentonville, AR
2019
January Winter Climbing Camp
January 2-4| 10am-12pm Ozark Climbing Gym, Springdale app.rockgympro.com This camp is for kids 7 to 11 years of age. The camp includes games, technique instruction, and, of course, a lot of climbing! This camp is perfect for folks interested in our recreational or competitive climbing teams. Book early to reserve your spot. Price $75, includes climbing shoes
The Lightning Thief
January 4 | 7pm January 5 | 2pm and 8pm Walton Arts Center, Fayetteville The Percy Jackson Musical
Mini-Camp: That’s Gross!
January 4 | 9am-3pm Amazeum cart.amazeum.org We’re all a little gross! From investigating what makes us burp and testing how far we spread germs, to getting up close and personal with our digestive system, this mini camp will be spent embracing our inner yucky! Put on your rubber gloves and ask yourself... can you stomach science?
Winter 2019 Skate Camp
January 4 |8 am – 4 pm Jones Center, Springdale online.thejonescenter.net Price: $25 per skater Ages: 4-18 Registration fee includes a t-shirt and snacks.
Library Story Times: Bentonville Public Library: bentonvillelibrary.org Fayetteville Public Library: faylib.org Springdale Public Library: springdalelibrary.org Rogers Public Library: rogerspubliclibrary.org Siloam Springs Library: siloamsprings.com
Skaters should bring their own lunch. For skaters of all ages and levels, from beginner to advanced. Camp activities include: Off-Ice Conditioning and Stretching, On-Ice Skating Skills, On-Ice Power Class, Off-Ice Jump and Spin Class, Practice Time
Winter Wonderland Princess Ball
January 5 | 10am-7pm Metroplex Springdale Two sessions to truly give an intimate and magical experience. Glam squad will be back offering makeup application, metallic jewelry tattoos, face painting, and mini manicures. Capture all the fun moments in our photo booth and pose in the photo station with our royal throne. Cookies and hot chocolate will be served with a gluten-free option for any allergy/sensitive needs. Includes a show starring all 16 beloved princesses to open the festivities and, of course, our DJ will play your favorite tunes.
NWA Women’s Living Expo
January 12| 10am-5pm Encore Event Center 40/29 & Arkansas CW NWA Women’s Living Expo
Storytime
January 12 | 11 am Barnes and Noble, Rogers A robot named Z discovers a message signed “Love, Beatrice,” and decides to find out what “love” means. They embark on an adventure that leads to Beatrice, and back home again, where love was hiding all along. Get a coupon from our Café for a grilled cheese sandwich with milk or juice for $4!
The Very Hungry Caterpillar and Other Eric Carle Favorites Jan. 13 | 2pm Walton Arts Center, Fayetteville
Pastry Workshop!
January 17 | 4:30-6pm Young Chefs Academy, Rogers
EXPERT SKIN CARE FOR YOUR WHOLE FAMILY NWA’S LEADING EXPERTS in Dermatology
FAYETTEVILLE • BENTONVILLE • HARRISON
479.718.SKIN
| ADVANCEDSKINMD.COM
2019
January
Ready , Set , Bake ! Some say bakers live in a world of “bake” believe... and we know this to be true ! We’ll bring tantalizing treats lo life as we master the art of the perfect pie crust and beautifully decorated sugar cookies ! $40 per participant / Ages 6 and up.
It’s A Wonderful Waltz! Winter Garden Ball January 19 | 7-10pm Center for Nonprofits at St. Mary’s 1200 W Walnut St, Rogers A night of ballroom dancing, heavy hors d’oeuvres, silent auction, a hot chocolate bar, and more holiday fun! Family friendly! DJ Dance after-party with today’s hits. Proceeds benefit Healing Gardens of NWA
Fluid Art Class for Kiddos
January 19 | 10am-12pm Rogers Experimental House, Rogers Hosted by Rogers Experimental House and Art & Soul Studios NWA artandsoulnwa.com Join us for a Fluid Art Class for parents/ grandparents and kiddos of all ages! Several fluid artists will be on hand to assist you with the step-by-step process to create a beautiful abstract art piece. And the best part.... absolutely NO art experience necessary! All supplies are included in this event and the cost is based on the canvas size: - 8x10: $15.00, -11x14: 25.00
Mini Camp: Stop, Collaborate, and Listen January 21 | 9am-3pm Amazeum cart.amazeum.org Lay down your beat with us as we explore music through tech. Can’t beatbox? We can help with that. Want to try your hand at sound mixing? We’ll cover that too! We have all the
tech and tools you need to make some sweet, sweet, music.
Princess for a Day Event
January 26 | 9:30am - 3pm Central United Methodist Church, Fayetteville 6th Annual Princess for a Day Event Hosted by Pagnozzi Charities Bring your little princess dressed in her favorite princess attire. She will be able to get her nails painted, make-up applied, and make a princess craft. We will have 14 fairy-tale princesses at the event this year for your child to visit with, get an autograph from and have their photo taken with. There will be both a morning and afternoon session, plus Exclusive Tea Parties prior to each session.
Gearheads 4 Community
January 26 | 10am – 4 pm Thaden Field 2205 SW I Street, Bentonville Hosted by Coats and Caffeine Tickets · $10 www.eventbrite.com This years event will be benefiting Sheep Dog - Impact Assistance-- a national nonprofit organization that exists to engage, assist and empower our nation’s “Sheep Dogs” – those who have served or are currently serving in our country’s military, law enforcement, fire & rescue, and emergency medical services professionals.
18th Annual Soup Sunday
January 27 | 4-7pm JQ Hammons Convention Center Rogers www.aradvocates.org AACF’s Northwest Arkansas Soup Sunday is one of the most fun events in the region. Really! The atmosphere is casual and family-friendly, the food is always delicious, and the cause most important – the future of Arkansas’s kids.
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U PDAT E : Ten years ago, I wrote about my daughter, Mavia in one of the very first editions of Peekaboo, when she was only two years old. My story then was about Mavia living with Neurofibromatosis, and what it was like being the mother of a child with this progressive neurological disorder. For those of you who do not know, neurofibromatosis (NF1) is a neurological disorder/disease that affects 1 in every 3,000 people. It is mostly a genetic disorder passed down by one of the parents; however, 50 percent of those born with NF1 just happen to be a spontaneous mutation in the gene, which is the case with my daughter. Neither her father nor I have NF – Mavia just happened to be the one who developed it spontaneously. Finding this out when she was just a baby was traumatizing, to say the least. Below is a paragraph from the Children’s Tumor Foundation website that explains NF, in order to help you have a better understanding.
About NF1
by: Karrie Evenson
“Neurofibromatosis, also known as NF, is a genetic disorder that affects 1 in every 3,000 people. There are three types of NF: NF1, NF2, and schwannomatosis. Neurofibromatosis type 1 (NF1), formerly known as von Recklinghausen NF or Peripheral NF, is the most common of the three types of neurofibromatosis, and is also one of the most common inherited neurological disorders, affecting about 1 in 3,000 people throughout the world. The disorder is characterized by multiple café au lait (light brown) skin spots and neurofibromas (small benign growths) on or under the skin, and/or freckling in the armpits or groin. About 50 percent of people with NF1 also have learning challenges. Softening and curving of bones and curvature of the spine (scoliosis) may occur in some patients with NF1. Occasionally, tumors may develop in the brain, on cranial nerves, or on the spinal cord. While NF tumors are generally not cancerous, they may cause health problems by pressing on nearby body tissue. Sometimes a benign tumor may become malignant (cancerous), but most people with NF1 will never develop a malignant tumor. NF1 is usually diagnosed in childhood.” To learn more, you can go to www.ctforg. Over the course of the last 10 years, Mavia has had physical, speech and occupational therapy. She has lived with a plexiform tumor in her hip, also known as a benign nerve sheath tumor, as well as two brain tumors (all of which have remained stable), ADHD, sensory issues, learning disabilities, and
other health problems caused by NF. With all of these challenges, she has still grown up to be a wonderful young lady. She is still a fighter, and full of happiness and life. She is a phenomenal artist, and loves animals like no other. She is a joy, and can be the sun for so many on a gloomy day. However, as a mother, I cannot say the same about myself. In all honesty, life has thrown some curves our way, and I have stumbled many times into sorrow. I would say that the only thing that has helped me keep my strength at times is to see my daughter thrive like she does. You might be asking yourself why I felt such sorrow at times, when my daughter was doing well. The answer to that is: NF is a progressive disease, and for a while I felt like we were in the “safe zone.” All of her tumors were stable and benign. With NF, there is an increased risk of developing cancer; however, that is the least of our worries. With NF, the benign tumors grow intertwined within the nerves which means they can grow in areas that could interrupt organ function and bone growth as well as the brain. These benign tumors can result in death because of how they grow, where they grow and the problems that follow along with them. I feared this. You know, when she was young, around toddler age, I managed quite well. I went through a phase of depression and fear of what might happen, but I
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found my way to fight and be strong. I kept faith. I learned not to worry so much because many of the issues hadn’t manifested in disruptive ways. We carried on together, and I watched her grow up healthy, other than developmental delays. Well... you know the saying, “You can’t PLAN life,” and, sure enough, it was true for us. We go yearly to visit our specialist for routine checkups, MRI’s, ophthalmologist visits, etc. It’s become a part of our life, always leaving with the words, “Everything looks good and stable – we will just wait and see.” In March of this year, however, I did not hear those words, and our lives changed drastically. I called our neurologist to talk to her about Mavia complaining of headaches. I told her that Mavia had complained to her teachers about it, but they just told her to get water. I felt very concerned, as it was disrupting her sleep as well. It is also a fact that, during puberty, children with NF can develop more neurological manifestations due to hormone changes in the body. Our doctor was concerned and scheduled us for an MRI. We left March 6 for St. Louis to have the testing done. On March 7, Mavia had her MRI, and by the end of the day she was scheduled for emergency brain
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U PDAT E :
Mavia Evenson
surgery. Just typing those words brings chills to my body and tears in my eyes. Our neurosurgeon said that if we had waited any longer, we could have lost her. The tumor she had near her brain stem, the one that had remained stable for all these years, grew and blocked her third ventricle, which caused fluid to build up in her brain. The first surgery they tried was intended to enter into her brain and create a new hole for the fluid to drain, but it was unsuccessful due to her having NF. Unfortunately, the pathways in her brain are different than someone without NF. It was then decided that she would need a shunt. It’s amazing what us moms can endure, let alone what children can endure. All of a sudden, I recognized a great strength within me that I never knew I had before. Prior to the surgery, Mavia cried in my arms ,asking if she was going to die. She was scared – actually, she was terrified. She was 11 years old and having to face the scariest thing in her life. I held her in my arms and repeated to her, “No matter what, we will get through this, and you will be okay... you are strong, and you are a fighter. We will get through this.” Truth is, I didn’t know any of that. I only had hope and faith to guide me. I didn’t shed a tear – I don’t think I even took a breath. As I waited in the waiting room for the doctors to call us after surgery, I just prayed. I prayed and I prayed and I prayed. I held my breath, and I prayed. Hours went by, and the nurse came to tell me that Mavia was out of surgery and in the recovery room. Finally, I let out that breath I was holding in, keeping my shoulders tense and up to my ears. I took a long, slow inhale and exhale, and let my shoulders come back down, giving thanks to God for hearing my plea.
40 January 2019
As I entered the recovery room and she began to wake up and look at me, I was overcome with gratitude, along with mixed emotions of anxiety, anger, heartache, relief, and happiness. I believe that it’s normal for mothers to feel all these sorts of things when they experience trauma with their child. All I knew for certain was that Mavia was here! She was smiling when she saw me, and I immediately embraced her gently as I inhaled the smell of my baby girl. I was so grateful. The neurosurgeon explained to me how the shunt worked, and what to look for in case it was unsuccessful. This was terrifying for me, because what if I didn’t notice? What if she didn’t share with me how she was feeling? What if I messed up and her life was lost because I didn’t notice something? I was so panicky that I even considered moving to St. Louis to be closer to our doctors. Drastic, I know, but I was overwhelmed, sleep-deprived and scared to death. When we got back home, Mavia was doing well recovering. She was not suffering from headaches, and was actually getting sleep. I, on the other hand, was up every night making sure she was okay… like we do when we have newborns. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was developing a great deal of sadness and a habit of keeping everything in. I still had not cried, or even slowed down long enough to deal with what had just happened. A few months went by and Mavia was doing great! I felt a little better as well, and we were attempting to carry on in the best way possible. At this time, Mavia was homebound from school and would remain that way until the end of the school year. We spent our days taking light walks and making art. I am a professional artist and illustrator, and Mavia happens to take after me with her love for creating art, so, needless to say, we kept busy together, and enjoyed taking our minds off of “NF.” Finally, I thought we were both on the road to emotional healing. Then, I got a phone call from one of our specialists in St. Louis. They wanted to do another MRI on Mavia to see how she was progressing. Mavia and I headed back to the hospital, expecting all to be okay. When we got the results of the MRI, we were told that the fluid was not draining properly – only one side was draining, and causing the brain to be shifted to one side. The doctors told me that this can happen on occasion, and that they were still hopeful that it would sort itself out, so we had to just “wait and see,” which was the theme to MANY of our doctor visits.
It has now been eight months since Mavia’s surgery, and we won’t go back for another MRI until later this month. Despite all of this, my daughter is strong and brave. She is finally getting back into a normal routine and enjoying life, as she always has. I am getting back to normal as well. I decided that the “wait and see” part of our lives wasn’t going to affect our love for living, creating and being a family. There is no waiting. I have no idea what the future holds for her. We are doing our best to grab life and make our moments last. Our hugs, our kisses, our walks, our talks – all of these things make life count. We may have doctor’s appointments and other possibly scary things to
deal with in the future, but we do not let it run our lives. We do not “wait” to see what will happen. We all try our best to live in the present and be mindful of ourselves and those we love. NOW is all we have. I intend to be more like my daughter – to live in the moment, and be the sunshine for her like she has always been for me. It can be hard when I let my mind run away with fear and the “what if ’s,” but that’s not living. Living is embracing life and doing your best to be a joy to someone else, and to let all the joy that surrounds you into your heart.
We get you. Care for Women, by Women | We know that a woman’s physical and emotional needs are unique, so we’ve designed a personalized care experience for women of all ages. For compassionate care and clinical expertise, HerHealth Clinic is here for you. Visit us online for a complete list of services and clinic locations.
Call 479.463.5500 for Appointments
| wregional.com/herhealth peekaboonwa.com
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Saving Money: Kid-Style
Parenting journalist and author Meagan Ruffing, loves helping her kids learn new life skills. She and her son Dylan are currently enjoying the fruits of their labor in New York City. Visit her at www.meaganruffing.com for more fun parenting tips.
Every single cent (and dollar) he earned for good behavior, helping around the house, and birthday money, went into a piggy bank for “the trip.”
M
y son and I are headed to New York City to celebrate his big 1-0. This is not something we just half-heartedly decided to do. It took months of preparation on both of our ends to make this trip a reality, and it started with the usual root of it all; money.
At 9 years old, my son, Dylan, doesn’t really grasp the concept of what it means to save for something. I can think of times in the recent past where he may have saved up a dollar or two to get something small from the grocery store, but nothing like what he has been saving for with his trip to the Big Apple. Every single cent (and dollar) he earned for good behavior, helping around the house, and birthday money, went into a piggy bank for “the trip.” 42 January 2019
There were many times when Dylan emptied out his piggy bank and begged me to just spend a few dollars on something he “had to have,” but I was quick to remind him that those few dollars would add up over time, and things in New York City were not going to come at a cheap price. I explained to him that I wanted him to be able to see something, say, “I want that!” and buy it, knowing that he had enough money to do so. Our trip is just around the corner and I am happy to report that Dylan has saved enough money to pick out several things at the American Museum of Natural History. All of this planning for New York taught me a few things about helping my kids understand the value of saving money for something bigger than what you want in the moment. 1. GET A PIGGY BANK OR SOMETHING SIMILAR THAT WOULD BE AGEAPPROPRIATE FOR YOUR CHILD. I found some really cute coin buckets with characters on them on clearance after Valentine’s Day for a dollar, and all three of my kids have been using those to save money. You could even recycle an empty Pringles can by wrapping it in construction paper and letting your child decorate it. Cut a slit in the top of the plastic cap, big enough to fit a quarter or a folded-up bill. Voila! You have a homemade piggy bank.
2. START SMALL. I’m sure there are some random coins floating around the house, in your kitchen junk drawer, or in the underbellies of your minivan. Tell your kids to go and find all of your loose change to put in their piggy banks. Not only does this get them started with some cold, hard cash – but it will keep them busy for quite a bit of time! 3. START PUTTING YOUR CHANGE INTO THEIR PIGGY BANKS. At the end of each day, make a commitment to emptying out your pockets or pocketbook and dropping your coins in the buckets. It will lighten your load, plus bring a smile to your son’s face when he sees his coin collection growing. 4. CHORES. There’s a hot debate going around in mommy-town about: when to start chores, if you should start chores, and, if you pay, how much you pay your children to pick up after themselves. In my home, we keep things as simple as possible. My two older kids know that if they take their lunch boxes, water bottles, and snacks and put them in their backpacks every morning before school without me having to nag them, they get 50 cents. The same is true for when they come home from school. If they hang up their jackets, empty their backpacks, hang them up, put their lunchboxes and water bottles on the kitchen counter and their shoes in the closet, they get another 50 cents. They have the potential to earn one dollar a day. That’s five dollars a week, or 20 dollars a month. You add that up over time and you’re looking at $240 for the year! Add that to any birthday money, and your kids are well on their way to saving for something special. 5. FOR LITTLER KIDS, MAKE IT OBTAINABLE. My youngest daughter, Elinor, sees her brother and sister earning their money each day, and she wants in on it, too. I make things obtainable on her level and immediately think about what I find myself telling her to do over and over again. This helps me decide that her money-earning chore should be to put her dirty clothes in the laundry. It gives her the responsibility of contributing to the household, and she earns money for doing it. Bonus: I get
to spend less time repeating myself and more time enjoying my kids. 6. SMALL REWARDS ARE OKAY HERE AND THERE. Every now and then, I do allow my kids to take a couple of dollars out of their piggy banks if we’re heading somewhere I know they can afford to get something. We have a cute little 5 and 10 store in our downtown, and the kids can easily pick out a few pieces of candy and little toy for around two dollars. It’s a win-win in my book. They get the joy of paying for something they want with their money out of their wallets, and I get to have a hands-on teaching moment about money without any fuss. Saving money kid-style can be a really fun thing. Once you start this process, you’ll find that kids really want to know more about how they can earn money and how the whole process works. Use this time wisely and keep it fun and simple for them. You never know, you might just have the next Wall Street Trader in your own home.
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Weight loss Surgery offers new HOPE!
BECOME A NEW YOU IN THE NEW YEAR
Before
After
People who are overweight and obese are at significantly greater risk for heart attack, stroke, high blood pressure, cancer, arthritis, obstructive sleep apnea and other diseases and disorders. But thousands of lives have been changed for the better through bariatric (or weight loss) surgery. More than 6,000 bariatric surgeries have been performed at Northwest Health, at which the region’s only fellowship-trained group of surgeons practices. Bariatric, or weight loss, surgery often results in major improvement, or even complete remission of diabetes, as well as significantly reducing the risk of other diseases, according to Dr. Joshua Roller, Medical Director of the Bariatric Surgery
“I feel great! It has changed my life. I can walk now.”
O
ne of the most common resolutions for the New Year includes losing weight; but, for many, the reasons are more than cosmetic. Obesity is a national challenge in the U.S., with Arkansas having the seventh highest adult obesity rate in the nation at 35%. The state also has the 20th highest obesity rate for youth ages 10 to 17.
Program at Northwest Health. Bariatric surgery works by limiting how much food you can comfortably eat, or by preventing your body from absorbing food and calories, or sometimes both. Candidates for weight loss surgery will have a BMI of 40 or more, or have a BMI of 35 to 39.9, along with serious obesity-related health problems. To calculate your BMI, visit NorthwestHealth.com/weight loss.
For more information or to speak privately with a bariatric surgery coordinator, call 479-757-2040 or visit www.NorthwestHealth.com/weightloss 44 January 2019
Kelly Pohl lost 135 pounds during the year following her surgery. “I had a lot of health issues at a young age, including diabetes. In fact, my father passed away from complications of diabetes. I also had high cholesterol, severe sleep apnea, and I wanted to have baby but I couldn’t.” After Dr. Roller performed her surgery at Northwest Health Physicians’ Specialty Hospital, Kelly said she was able to go off of several medications, and she started noticing a difference in her energy levels within the month. Additionally, her cravings for sugar were gone immediately following the surgery. “I’m in good health now, and my previous health issues (related to obesity) are completely resolved,” she said. Even better, Kelly was able to get pregnant without fertility treatments following her weight loss. Daughter Kacie is now six and in kindergarten. “I’m able to keep up with my husband, who is very active, and with my daughter. I have the energy to go somewhere on weekends and I don’t want to
come home from work and just go to bed anymore. There’s nothing better than going to the park and playing with my daughter.” Brenda Hudson, RN, who lost 70 pounds after her surgery, got to go off of her diabetes medications shortly after Dr. Joshua Morout performed her surgery at Northwest Medical Center-Springdale. She also got to go off of her meds for high blood pressure and cholesterol as well. “I feel great! It has changed my life. I can walk now.” In her job as an RN in the Preop Holding Unit at Northwest Medical Center-Springdale, she interacts with patients coming in for bariatric surgery. “I tell them I had it and how my life has changed for the better.” The weight loss surgery programs at Northwest Medical Center-Springdale and Northwest Health Physicians’ Specialty Hospital are accredited by the Metabolic and Bariatric Surgery Accreditation and Quality Improvement Program (MBSAQIP). Additionally, Northwest Medical CenterSpringdale has just become Arkansas’ first hospital to earn national accreditation for adolescent weight loss surgery.
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46 January 2019
500 SE Plaza Avenue Bentonville, Arkansas
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The Arkansas gymnastics team earned a preseason No. 12 ranking from the Women’s Collegiate Gymnastics Associate (WCGA), after its 10thplace finish at the NCAA Championships last spring. The Razorbacks return to action Jan. 5, 2019 to face the No. 2 Oklahoma Sooners. The Razorbacks are one of three teams that will host four preseason top-10 teams, and the only team in the country to host four from the top-six. Arkansas is set to host No. 2 Oklahoma (Jan. 5), No. 3 Florida (March 1), No. 4 LSU (Feb. 22) and No. 6 Alabama (Feb. 8). Season tickets start at $25 and can be purchased by visiting ArkansasRazorbacks. com Head coach Mark Cook returns 17-of-24 competition routines from last season, including five-of-six on both the beam and the floor. Among the returners are All-American Hailey Garner, SEC Freshman of the Year Sarah Shaffer, AllSEC performers Sophia Carter and Sydney Laird. Sydney McGlone, one of the team’s top vaulters who missed most of 2018 to injury, and Jessica Yamzon, who has competed in the All-Around in every meet at Arkansas, will return in 2019. In total, the Razorbacks return nine gymnasts from last year’s squad. For the second-consecutive year, Arkansas welcomes five freshmen who were level 10 gymnasts for the 2019 campaign in Amanda 48 January 2019
Elswick, Katarina Derrick, Kennedy Hambrick, Bailey Lovett and Savannah Pennese. Elswick is the younger sister of former Razorback All-SEC gymnast Heather Elswick, while Lovett joins the Razorbacks a year early from Greensboro, N.C.
2019 HOME SCHEDULE AND PROMOTIONS JAN. 5 VS. NO. 2 OKLAHOMA | 5:45PM CANDYLAND PRESENTED BY ALWAYS
Lollipops, gumdrops and chocolate galore…a special candy themed celebration meet we have in store! The first 250 kids will receive a ‘Wooo Pig Sooiet’ candy bar with 25 containing a lucky Golden Ticket. There will also be a candy bar provided by Pediatric Dental Associates and Orthodontics for children to select from a variety of sweet treats. Arrive early to snap a pic in front of a candy themed photo booth and stay late for a post-meet team autograph session.
FEB. 8 VS. NO. 6 ALABAMA | 6:45PM
FLIP FOR A CURE & MOMMY-DAUGHTER DATE NIGHT PRESENTED BY MERCY Let’s unite together to raise awareness for breast cancer. All fans are encouraged to wear pink along with using pink shakers which will be laid in the seating areas. Breast cancer survivors and fighters will be recognized and members of the team will wear pink themed leotards. Arrive early to register
to win 1 of 10 Valentine’s chocolate gift boxes plus be one of the first 150 to get a pack of Razorback Gymnastics trading cards. Following the meet, all kids 12 and under can enjoy a post-meet dance party on the floor.
free Razorback themed pop-socket plus free Jimmy John’s upon entry. Following the meet, all kids 12 and under can enjoy a post-meet dance party on the floor.
FEB. 22 VS. NO. 4 LSU | 7:15PM | SEC NETWORK
ST. PAT’S WITH THE GYMBACKS & SENIOR SALUTE
PACK THE BARN & PRINCESS/SUPERHERO NIGHT PRESENTED BY ALWAYS
Get ready to show off your sparkles, capes and masks and help break an attendance record inside legendary Barnhill Arena. The first 500 kids will receive a free Razorback Gymnastics pillowcase plus red metallic shaker poms will be distributed throughout the seating areas for fans to show off their Razorback spirit. The first 300 University of Arkansas students will get a free t-shirt plus free Raising Cane’s upon entry. Following the meet, there will be a team autograph session.
MARCH 1 VS. NO. 3 FLORIDA | 6:45PM
AMERICAN GIRL DOLL PARTY & STUFFED ANIMAL NIGHT ALUMNI REUNION Here’s your chance to bring your favorite doll or stuffed animal to the party. All kids 12 and under can register to win one of six American Girl Dolls plus Razorback Gymnastics will welcome back former gymnasts with an alumni appreciation recognition. University of Arkansas students will receive a
MARCH 16 VS. TWU, LINDENWOOD AND SEMO Lucky you…we’re giving away St. Patrick’s themed t-shirts to the first 500 fans plus neon green glowsticks to use during opening ceremonies. Celebrate with us as recognize and honor our seniors following the meet.
SEASON TICKETS Tickets can be purchased by calling the Razorback Ticket Center at 1-800-982-4647.The Razorbacks are offering a holiday special for the Alabama meet. Using the promo code: HOLIDAYSPECIAL, fans can purchase tickets to the meet for $2.
by: Allison Smith Our house is full of laughter, loud noises, and energetic little boys. There’s never a dull moment. When my husband and I aren’t working, we are changing diapers, rushing kids to sports practices, and packing lunch boxes. Life with four boys is exciting, happy, and oh-so-full. Not long ago, I couldn’t even begin to picture this life we have now. Seven years ago, I wrote an article for Peekaboo during one of the most hopeless times in my life. A year earlier, our world was rocked when we lost our beautiful triplet sons. When they were born too soon and didn’t survive, our hearts were shattered. Due to the complications from that pregnancy, we did not know if I could ever carry another baby. The details surrounding their birth and death was nothing short of a nightmare. We had struggled with infertility again and again in hopes of giving our oldest son, Josey, a sibling. Finding out we were expecting triplets was the most exciting news we could have ever received. Our joyful pregnancy was cut short when I delivered Johnny at home in my second trimester. I was rushed to the hospital, and, with my husband by my side, I fought with every ounce of my strength for two weeks to save the other two babies. Unfortunately, I became very sick due to an infection and our precious Jaxsen and Asher joined their triplet brother in heaven. The emptiness that surrounded us after our loss was almost unbearable. I can’t put into words what 50 January 2019
it was like to picture and plan for a house full of children only to have that dream vanish entirely. Our house was supposed to be noisy, busy, and full of children’s laughter. Instead, we clung desperately to our then 2-year-old and mourned the loss of a life we might never have. I worried that he would never have a sibling, and that my heart might never feel true joy again. When I wrote the article, we had once again started battling my infertility issues to conceive. Medical treatments, surgical procedures, and more prayers than I thought possible brought us our rainbow baby. When Gavin let out a big cry and was placed in my arms on July 25, 2012, I exhaled for what felt like the first time in nine months. My body hadn’t failed me that time, and we left the hospital with a healthy baby boy. Three years and four days later, we welcomed our second rainbow baby. Parker Jack came into our lives and made us the proud parents of three boys in our arms and three in heaven. Flash forward to the spring of this year. I turned 35 in March… an age I set for us to be done having children. Our oldest child turned 10, and it seemed like the baby stage of our life was naturally ending. I would be lying if I didn’t wonder if we were really done. I started imagining getting pregnant again. Should we try just one more time? Is it too dangerous? My medical condition makes each
placed on both of our hearts, and really never left our thoughts. Over the years, we had both mentioned it at times. We never had the chance to give our triplets the beautiful life they deserved. The thought of being able to do just that for a child in need of a forever family kept our hearts open to the idea. Honestly, at first I kind of brushed off the idea that we could adopt this baby we had just learned about. Adoption doesn’t just happen. People wait years, and spend tens of thousands of dollars on agency adoptions to connect with a birth mother. I just couldn’t imagine this would happen for us.
Photo by Three Bees Photography
additional pregnancy a little more risky, and we have no way of knowing if I would be able to carry another baby successfully. I started praying for a sign. A clear answer. And boy, did I get one. In mid-April, the night before our oldest turned 10, I was informed of a birth-mother who was set on adoption and wanted her baby to go to a family with children. She was looking for an experienced couple who could give her child a life that she never had. Someone who knew our hearts for adoption suggested that we meet her. I thought of how in the early days after our loss how we began talking about adoption. It was
We had not been planning or saving for an adoption at all. Was it even possible to adopt with the impending due date only 12 weeks away? We had never hired an attorney in our life, and had no idea where to begin. Somewhere deep down inside, though, I just couldn’t shake the idea. I was actually nervous to mention it to Mike. He is so logical, and often helps me stay grounded when I come up with big ideas. I often act with my heart first and just hope the details work out. As soon as I began talking about it, however, he was on board entirely. We talked through the financial side, the impact this would have on our boys, and all the details we could think of. We ultimately decided to take a huge leap of faith and see where the journey took us. Soon after that, we found out that the baby’s due date was July 20th, the day we lost the first of our babies. We took it as a sign that this was the journey meant for our family. If there is one thing that is for certain, it is that our life together has never played out the way we have expected. We’ve been thrown so many curve balls while building our family, that we know
better than to assume we know what is around the corner. So, we took a shaky step toward pursuing adoption. Then we took another. And another. We don’t live a lavish life by any means, but we have so much love to give to a child. I always say our love is so big because it has to reach all the way to Heaven. We knew we could give this child a life full of snuggles, kisses, silly jokes, big brothers with hearts the size of Texas, and a Mommy and Daddy who love with a fierceness not easily put into words. We could give this child the life his biological mom dreamed of for her baby. Doors continued to open and, in three weeks, we were sitting in front of an amazing young girl, who, after an hour of talking with her, chose us to parent her child. I reached out to a friend, who connected me with an attorney to help us start the process. I fully expected an “It’s not possible” from the attorney when I told him we had nine weeks until the expected delivery. He looked right at me and said, “I think we can do it!” I was floored. I called my husband and excitedly told him that we had a green light. The paperwork, doctor’s visits, home study preparations, home study visit, and planning kept us moving at a whirlwind pace. We found out the baby was a boy a few weeks before he arrived. We were so happy… and not surprised at all. Parenting boys is kind of our thing. When July arrived, we had completed everything on our end of the adoption. We were officially eligible to adopt and just waiting on delivery. I bought only a few things for the baby just in case the birth mother changed her mind. We found out
52 January 2019
that she waived five of her decision days, so we would know five days after birth if we were going to be able to keep the baby. She wanted us to meet the baby shortly after birth and bring him home with us from the hospital. On July 25th, on his big brother’s sixth birthday, our seventh son was born. When Mike and I met him, he was snuggled tightly in his birth mother’s arms. With a smile on her face, this sweet young girl placed her baby in my trembling arms. I don’t know if words could ever do justice to that moment. My heart shattered and rejoiced at the same time. I wanted this baby so much. Mike and I had planned and prayed, and loved this boy for only a few weeks, but he was ours in every sense of the word. The five-day waiting period tested us emotionally in every way. The doubt and worry weighed heavy on us, but we also trusted God’s plan for our new son. When day five came and went without event, we moved forward with finalizing the adoption. Eight days after his birth, we sat before a judge and vowed to love and care for Jensen always. A chapter in our family’s story that started a mere 12 weeks earlier drew to a close as we walked out of the judge’s chambers as the proud parents of seven boys. Three of our boys have brought love and joy to every minute of our lives over the last ten years. Three of them changed the entire course of our lives when they went to Heaven. They constantly push us to be the best parents we can be. And one tiny little baby came into our lives when we least expected it, and showed us the true meaning of sacrifice, hope, and family. We finally have the crazy, chaotic, beautiful, full life we have dreamed of for so long.
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by: Kelli Jensen As I sit here and write these words, hot tears stream down my face. It’s such a mix of emotions when we realize that, as adults, we still cannot navigate all of the complex emotions and situations that kiddos face. Let’s be real--as adults we can hardly process our own emotions. Yet, we want to protect their heart and their soul. Their self-worth. And we just get slapped right in the face with it all – the honest realization that as they get older, it just gets harder. The emotions get bigger. And there is so much more at stake. As my boys have moved into the tween / teen years, I have been feeling the weight of parenthood. The seriousness of it. I have felt the quicksand rising up and over my head. I was praying and asking for the space and time to write it all out and process what changes have happened, and how to step back and take a look at the bigger picture. And, just as God always provides, I received a Facebook message that very same day that Peekaboo was doing an update issue. Would I be interested in giving an update to my 2014 story regarding Cooper? My precious Cooper. Yes. In 2014, Cooper was diagnosed with the following: Attention Deficit / Hyperactivity Disorder, Combined Presentation Generalized Anxiety Disorder Social Anxiety Disorder Major Depressive Disorder Oppositional Defiant Disorder 54 January 2019
When I look back at Cooper’s diagnoses, I am overwhelmed by the word ‘disorder.’ We use it so freely, but, man, that sure shines such a negative light. Cooper has used the phrases when questioning his “disorders,” like, “What do I have again? It’s called, like, depression and ADHD.” I am thankful that his maturity has yielded some really good conversations between us, but that doesn’t change his feeling that he walks around with a label attached to him. Labels are negative. Disorders are negative. I mean, look it up. DIS - the Latin prefix meaning: “Takes Away” “Deprive of” “Lack of” An easy way to remember that the prefix dis – means “apart” is through the word DISORDER... for items which are disordered are “apart” from being “ordered,” hence are not ordered, or are in quite the mess. Though, in our lives, only person that is “quite the mess” is Cooper’s momma. Does that mean if you don’t have a label, a disorder, that you are perfect… in order? Of course not. And I certainly am not advocating for not going through the process of obtaining a diagnosis, either. The tribe that Cooper has surrounding him is second to none. Because of these diagnoses, we
understand Cooper better. Cooper understands himself better, too. And nothing is more important. But why must he be labeled “apart?” Or, “not in order?” The Bible says that the very hairs on your head are all numbered. That makes each of us precious. Irreplaceable. Beautiful. In order. Those diagnoses are heavy. He was only six. It was a shock, even though we knew we would likely be traveling down the path of ADHD. However, we were not prepared for such big things, like depression and anxiety, for our little boy. The shock came from the overwhelming helplessness of it all. The pain I have seen my son in. The emotional turmoil that he carries and tries to hide. And the ultimate blow that I cannot carry it for him. I can’t take those wounds to the pediatrician and cast them up for six weeks and then be magically healed. However, we do everything in our power to crush those walls and let them fall so that Cooper can climb up on top of it, and his amazing qualities can be front and center. It is not always that easy. I am optimistic, but I am not naive. Now that Cooper is ten, I felt he had a say over what I would share in this update. I explained that my writing wasn’t to tell the world about him and his brother’s business, but to share in the hope to help
others and to be helped ourselves. I just choose to share ours because so much positive tends to come from it. We agreed that I would not share some specific events, but an overview of what we have learned, and are continuing to learn. Over the last four years, we have navigated elementary school. We implemented a pretty solid IEP, and Cooper had the most amazing teachers that focused on not only his education, but took me seriously when I pleaded that we put as much effort into his heart and his self-worth as his education. We also added an hour of private Occupational Therapy a week. We were on the Team Coop fast track.
And then we were rezoned. Cooper would spend third and fourth grade at a new elementary school. Talk about a serious blow. That was a very scary year. No matter how many positives we could find to talk about, that change shook the foundation of confidence that he had worked so hard to gain. You see, that is where we got very familiar with the words depression, anxiety, fight-or-flight, and panic attacks. I can’t
share all of the details, but I was no longer seeing my sweet boy wrinkle up his nose and giggle when he heard something funny. Sharing wild ideas of things to build with dad’s tools was replaced with constant pleads to sell our house and move to be in the correct school zone. Pleads to use “just one more scoop of dirt” for another four-wheeling hill was replaced with hours of tears spilled into his pillow. Resentment crept in between brothers because Cody was never rezoned. Cooper began to lose himself in YouTube videos of professional YouTuber families, and was downright sad that his life didn’t look as glamorous as those in the videos. He was convinced that we just didn’t love him enough to live like those super-cool YouTube families. Cooper’s heart was broken. I can’t explain it any other way. It was like the rug of life had been pulled out from under him and he could not see beyond the worry. And yes, while I understand that change and learning how to handle change is a good thing… it just isn’t always that simple. Cooper was just beginning to trust his teachers. He was finally opening up and
not afraid to ask questions. He was beginning to let his wall down. And because of all of those steps in the right direction, he was making big progress in school. We were just getting started in so many ways. Cooper decided he did not want to play sports any longer. He couldn’t handle the pressure to perform for his team… striking out, not getting the goal… disappointing his team was more than he could bear. I even signed up to coach his soccer team for two seasons. I have never played soccer in my life, but I was desperate to find any possible way to help keep Cooper afloat. I just wanted Cooper to enjoy something, anything positive. In an attempt to help Cooper find his sunshine, I signed him up for a tae kwon do class. He said okay to a couple of intro sessions to see if he liked it. In the first class, the instructor began to talk about his own self-esteem struggles as a child, and how he found tae kwon do and the differences it made in his life. I couldn’t have planned that moment better than if I had written the script myself and paid the instructor to deliver it. I thought we struck gold! Cooper even enjoyed himself! I saw that smile! But, when it was time for the second class, he didn’t want to go. I’ll never forget that day. It is etched in the Worst Mom Feeling Hall of Fame. I forced him to go. “We honor commitments, Cooper.” And then, right there on the sidewalk, right outside the big window for everyone inside to see… Cooper had his first major panic attack. What I have learned about this combo pack that Cooper carries is that it can be a vicious cycle. You have ADHD. It’s hard to focus. It’s hard to learn the way school is set up. It’s easy to dream and create. But, it can be hard to execute. It weighs on you. Then, the darkness begins to creep in. You sense the depression begin to take hold. Next is worry.
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Worrying about being sad a lot. Worrying about how others see you. Worrying about how the worrying has made your body begin to feel. And that is just scratching the surface for my son. I was beginning to feel like I might not see Cooper’s genuine smile and happiness again. I was afraid I was losing him. I felt helpless and like a failure. I mean, Cooper was quite the little boy. Curious, happy, and outgoing defined Cooper previously. There is that saying that the definition of boys is dirt with noise on it. The definition of Cooper was laughter. Laughter and dirt. This was the kid that would wear full Iron Man gear – well, Iron Man gear and cowboy boots – to the Promenade and stand tall and proud. He would tell people his name was Tony Stark. He would walk in front of me, chest puffed out, protecting his momma. He believed he was a superhero. Cooper loves deeply. Cooper cares deeply. For everyone. I was desperate for him to find that place again. But anxiety and depression kept trying to steal that from him. Instead, he would remove a nice shirt and his cowboy hat before we left the house. He wanted to do something, wear something, and try something new, but that fear would steal it from Cooper.
Irrational fears nearly consumed him. I heard someone say once that the only thing greater than my fear is my conviction. That had to become our mantra. I know that God is with Cooper through this journey and with our family through this journey. And because there is no lie he won’t tear down for Cooper. I know that my superhero will be back. Our third grade year, and first at the new elementary school, started out tough. Cooper just did not want to give anything a chance. His teacher, Mrs. Wood, was wonderful. She loved my boy. By the end of that year, Cooper was beginning to let her in and trust her. We had been meeting with Dr. Cole at Encompass Health in Bentonville for a while, and she did a great job of talking Cooper
through the mechanics of the brain and helping him (and me!) understand how the brain works and how it can make us feel or think. She gave us tools to implement at home to soften the grip of the anxiety and depression. An amazing moment happened during a summer break, when Cooper asked me to make an appointment with Dr. Cole. Just seeing him own his needs made me feel so, so happy for him. We finished elementary school with a bang! His fourth grade teacher was no doubt a gift from heaven. She had always been a kindergarten teacher, but had been moved up to give fourth graders a shot. Cooper was in her first fourth grade class. She immediately understood Cooper. There were some people that didn’t see Cooper. They saw a quiet kid that seemed just fine. Those few would have allowed Cooper to stay in the shadows. I could see that Mrs. Bush and Cooper were going to have the same connection that he had with Mrs. Fogarty, the teacher he so desperately missed at his previous school. Because Mrs. Bush cared for and nurtured Cooper’s heart, he began to believe her when she told him he was capable and worthy. Then, he began to try harder because he was seeing the fruits of his labor and he knew he could count on her to be there. It wasn’t Iron Man and cowboy boots, but it was movement… the darkness was giving way to light. I am forever grateful for his third and fourth grade teachers. Those two cannot begin to imagine the impact they had on a little boy who was scared and needed to be loved, hard. They did so perfectly. And thank goodness, because insert another change… MIDDLE SCHOOL. Cooper is doing well, though. In fact, he informed his dad and me that we needed to enroll in Vista College because we were having to use Google to help him with his homework. That was a moment of sunshine. He has also been committed to working on his ninja skills at Flip Side Ninja Park in Lowell. He enjoys his weekly classes, and has learned to not take himself too seriously and just enjoy the time, the friends and the obstacles. I love the male coach influence. They do an amazing job of driving home that on the ninja course they might fail an obstacle, but they keep on going, keep trying... and how that attitude carries over into everyday life. They don’t know how much that has helped Cooper. He has also found a passion for RC cars. Now, we 58 January 2019
dream of all the different RC courses we can build. He now dreams of partnering up with his buddy Ray at NWA R/C Raceway and expanding his shop (to, of course, house a bigger race course). And, most recently, he has been driven to get his first deer. He has been disciplined in spreading the feed, getting up at 4:30 a.m. and sitting in the cold. What’s inspiring about all of this is that Cooper is keeping his shoulders squared and is following the sunshine. So, as I learn to navigate these waters with him, this mixture of sunshine and darkness… I try to remember that yes, darkness falls, but the sun always rises. I am continually amazed at my son. With his tender heart, he would do anything for anyone. He loves hard. And he wants that in return. Just this week, we were out to dinner and saw our elderly neighbors. Cooper has never even met them – they live up the road and we just don’t see them much aside from a wave as we drive by each other. But, as we are leaving the restaurant I quietly tell Cooper, “Make sure you tell our neighbors to have a good evening.” He walks over and visits with them for a minute and then, he does what Cooper does best: reaches in and gives each of them a big hug. Cooper’s hugs are special. He goes all in. And he LOVES nothing more than a big hug in return. The woman turned to me and said, “That was the best hug I have ever gotten!” So, naturally, our waitress had to get in on the hug fest. That moment was an “Iron Man and cowboy boot” moment. I guess I could sum up this update on my sweet Cooper as this: We have felt many of the highs and the lows of emotional health. And, while I know this journey is far from over, I feel blessed to have had and continue to have a tribe of people who really see Cooper and are committed to his selfworth. He never ceases to amaze me with his drive to see the sunshine. Even though he is growing up and that means Iron Man is mostly a memory, Cooper is still my super hero in cowboy boots.
We are privileged to introduce Kelsey Gilley, CNM to Lifespring Women’s Healthcare
LifeSpring
Kelsey Gilley, CNM As a Certified Nurse Midwife, Kelsey will see patients for gynecoligic care, pregnancy and deliver at Northwest Health-Bentonville.
Katie Beal, MD
She has experience in both Hospital-based and Birth center-based deliveries. She will be working closely with Northwest Health-Bentonville, providing education and patient care as we develop Northwest Arkansas’ first hospital based low intervention birth program that is lead and supported by our Midwife and Physician Providers and utilizes the full spectrum of alternative pain relief and team-based birth approach.
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Potty Training
Potty. Training. These are two words that terrified me when I thought about potty training our firstborn, Emma Grace. I dreaded it because of hearing horror stories from other parents. I also had pressures from family members saying that she should have already been potty trained before a year old. Once I decided to not let the pressures of others get to me, or to compare my child’s progress with others, we set off on our potty training adventure! And what an adventure it has led us on! When Emma was around 16 months old, we really tried to make sure she knew the difference between “pee-pee” and “poo-poo,” and how she felt with each. Once she knew what was happening, or what she was about to do, we placed her in pullups. We had also introduced a “potty buddy” to help demonstrate the whole concept of going on the potty. She would have her doll go on the potty. It was adorable the way she would animate it, and she was learning! We were sure to praise her every time she went, and even when she attempted to go. We also came up with a “Pee-Pee in the Potty” song. I had greatly underestimated the amount of patience and time potty training takes. Sometimes multiple trips resulted in a victory, and other times, it was sitting there endlessly just in case. I vividly remember at 18 months, when she went pee-pee on the potty all by herself! It was almost as if I could hear angels singing Hallelujah all around us. She was doing amazing, and I thought to myself, “Wow! That wasn’t so bad, now was it?” Unfortunately, I learned the joke was on me! And then, the real nightmare of potty training for us began. 60 January 2019
Stacy Hall
Kids are smart, and absorb everything like a sponge. They want to do everything that mommy and daddy do. Emma Grace kept seeing us take out the waste bowl of the potty to dump its contents into the big potty. She would also love to remove it and show us her accomplishments! I loved that she wanted to be a helper and show off her accomplishments, but she would have that waste bowl out in a flash and this resulted in her spilling it all over herself and the floor. It would happen so fast! After many extra baths and floor moppings later, I searched for a potty chair that locked the waste bowl to the base. To my surprise, this didn’t exist. This is when we took matters into our own hands and invented Potty Safe, the first child-proof potty training chair. I bought some materials that I thought would get the job done for the design I had in mind. I wanted the waste bowl to not be removable by children, but I wanted to be able to remove it for disposal and cleaning. I told my husband my plan, handed him the materials, and said, “Fix it, please.” He is very good at fabricating things, and he made my idea come to life! Our working prototype worked amazingly well, and I was no longer scrambling to find time to mop the floor and give an extra bath. With our new childproof latch, Emma couldn’t remove the waste bowl, and it was never an issue again! Even though we had potty training under our belts, I couldn’t let go of the idea to help ease the stress of other parents going through the same thing. After extensive prayer, we decided to go for our dream. To live with the regret of not trying would have been harder than trying and failing. Potty Safe has gone from an idea, to a prototype, to a real patent-approved tangible product now. And, while I am not a potty training expert, I hope that some of the things we did with our daughter can help you on your adventure, and that a Potty Safe can save you some stress as well. I also learned from my daughter that it’s handy to have multiple potties in different bathrooms and keep one in the car. Potty training waits for no traffic or trying to find a bathroom while on the road. We are about to start potty training our son Ty now, and I’m fully prepared with a Potty Safe! www.PottySafe.com
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Your world deserves world-class answers. At Northwest Health, we want every patient to receive the care they need right here in Northwest Arkansas. As a member of the Mayo Clinic Care Network, our doctors have special access to Mayo Clinic knowledge, expertise and resources at no additional cost. And you get the peace of mind that comes with knowing we’re here for you. Talk with your Northwest Health physician about access to Mayo Clinic expertise right here at home. Call 833-757-WELL (9355) to request an appointment. Or, go to NorthwestHealthNOW.com for more info.