Reframing Education (Digital Issue)

F EAT UR E S

S P O RT S

“Black people are not activists by choice; it’s a matter of survival.” — Balqees Jama

Sisterly love on the SFU softball team

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NEWS Mugshare encourages sustainability

OPINIONS Surely it shouldn’t be this hard to find food on campus

ARTS & CULTURE Monday Music: morning pick-me-ups

FEATURES You can’t say yes to everything and still have time for yourself

HUMOUR Caf-fiend faces a latte troubles

SPORTS Learn about a running club started by two SFU runners to support the community

February 22, 2022

MUGS MATTER

HIGHLIGHTING HISTORY

NEWS

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NON-FICTION NARRATIVE

News Editor Nancy La

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News Writers Karissa Ketter and Yelin Gemma Lee

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news@the-peak.ca

OPINIONS

February 22, 2022

CAMPUS COMMUNITIES

Student groups will be filled with students who empathize, and will, more often than not, be supportive of your struggles

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ARTS & CULTURE

CATCH IT ALL

Arts & Culture Editor Sara Wong

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arts@the-peak.ca

February 22, 2022

ARTS & CULTURE

Written by Makena Leyh

“Ugotme”

By Omar Apollo

“Just Friends”

By Amy Winehouse

“Every Kind Of Way”

By H.E.R.

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Photo: Gudrun Wai-Gunnarsson / The Peak

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Osob Mohamed

Osob Mohamed, a recent graduate from the Faculty of Health and Sciences Bachelor program, is an important part of the SFU community. She was the SFSS president amidst the pandemic, from 2020–21 and worked diligently towards developing SFSS’ Issues Policy on reproductive rights. She had an integral role in helping students navigate the first year of the pandemic, prioritizing student mental health when anxiety and uncertainty were at their highest. During her time with the SFSS, Mohamed accomplished many feats like leading the charge on the elective grading scheme and supporting the marginalized communities.

In an interview with The Peak, Mohamed said through her experience on the SFSS, she’s had the chance to “improve the student quality of life at SFU academically, financially, and health-wise.”

Currently, Mohamed is “an alumni member of the SFU Black Caucus, and is working as a consultant to the university in the creation of a Black Student Centre.”

She envisions this to be “a space for Black students to gather, receive tailored support, enjoy events and programming, and enjoy a space just for them!”

FEATURES

You can’t pour from an empty cup

I learned self-care starts with having healthy boundaries

Written by Maya Beninteso I had a friend — let’s call her Willow. This friendship progressed to the point where we confided in each other regarding difficult topics — like any other close friend. But, over time, I became less of a friend and morphed into her (100% unlicensed) therapist.

Of course, I wanted to support her, but not to the extent she expected. I tried to rationalize my therapist-esque role in her life by telling myself she needed my support. But, there is a fine line between being supportive and full-on therapy sessions — that line is called a healthy boundary.

The day I realized this friendship did not possess healthy boundaries also happened to be one of the most significant days of my life. This was a day I needed Willow’s support the most. I went to her house and she, knowing I had just experienced a hard day, didn’t ask me how everything went and decided to use me for another “therapy session.” I tried telling her I was in no position to support her but she started venting anyway. When I reiterated that my mental state was pretty poor she instantly got aggressive and said I was being a bad friend.

This is where I should have reasserted my boundary.

Instead, I internalized her words and genuinely believed I was not living up to my mandate as her friend. Was I a bad friend? How could I have navigated the situation differently to make her feel more supported? My rumination was interrupted by a text apology from Willow and, without hesitation, I forgave her.

I have since learned that apologies without change are manipulation, something I wish I knew before the following incident.

A few months later, I went over to her house again one evening. My mother and I have a ritual of watching reality TV shows together and I eventually decided to leave to do just that. As I got up to leave, Willow told me I couldn’t. I thought she was kidding and I laughed, but her face remained serious and I realized she wasn’t kidding. She physically blocked me from leaving her living room and it took me a solid 10 minutes to convince her to let me go.

Then, like a mature adult, she proceeded to steal my shoes.

After yet another five minutes, she gave me my shoes back. That meant that I could leave, right? Wrong.

Willow stood in front of her front door, physically blocked me from leaving, and asked, “Are you not going to hug me before leaving?” For context, Willow and I never had a friendship that included physical touch and she knew I wasn’t comfortable with it. I said no and I had to ever-so-lightly slide her over to leave through her front door.

I sprinted to my car, promptly left, and I never returned.

PHOTO: Rauf Alvi / Unsplash

During my reflective drive home, I had tears streamed down my face. I realized I was not valuing and asserting my own boundaries and had let Willow walk all over me, resulting in a toxic friendship. In the weeks following that experience, I struggled with asserting the final boundary of ending my friendship with her. After weeks of drytexting Willow, and failing to respond enthusiastically, I finally conjured up the courage to send a lengthy text detailing how I felt. I expressed a lack of interest in continuing the friendship, especially considering the numerous incidents that appeared to escalate in nature. It was difficult, but I finally communicated this boundary and have consistently held it for the past year and a half. I do still see Willow occasionally, but I have remained firm on my decision to end the friendship.

I allowed Willow to drain me when I already felt empty.

In hindsight, I should’ve heeded the warning that a former colleague and friend used to tell me. She would say, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” I would shrug it off as if my cup wasn’t experiencing a full-on drought due to my lack of boundaries. I just never knew a person who I considered a close friend would be the one to stretch me paper-thin.

Shortly after resolving my situation (and attending numerous therapy sessions), I had an epiphany.

I was always checking in with others, but I never had the self-compassion to check in with the most permanent person in my life: me.

I started journaling as an opportunity to check in with myself and I started communicating my boundaries to loved ones. You cannot expect others to read your mind — you need to take charge of your boundaries and communicate your needs. I found this to be quite challenging but, nonetheless, I needed to take care of myself first.

If you need to cancel plans with a friend because you need the day to yourself, that’s completely valid.

Just try your best not to do this last minute. Take the time to regroup and rest. This will likely feel daunting — I know it did for me — but what’s the harm in placing boundaries? If someone doesn’t respect the boundaries you place, then they are not someone you want to be associated with. You deserve to have your boundaries honoured. I didn’t lose Willow. I let her go.

While my experiences were difficult, they further provided me with perspective and a sense of empathy. Before venting to my friends, I always ask if they are in a good, safe mental state to be on the listening end of a rant. And, at the end of my rants, I always end on some sort of positive note.

And, on that note. . .

My dear readers, here’s to setting healthy boundaries and filling our cups.

February 22, 2022

HUMOUR

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HUMOUR

Humour Editor Sara Brinkac

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humour@the-peak.ca

A'S FOR DAYS

MY UNEDUCATED OPINION Resident tutor helps students across campus with their homework Charlene Aviles, Staff Writer

Friends

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Have a class you need to pass?

Send your homework to homeworkhelp@the-peak.ca today!

PHOTO: Allyson Klassen / The Peak

LAYOUT: Kitty Cheung

ARIES — Mar 21–Apr 19

LIBRA — Sept 23–Oct 22

You’re constantly running late on dates. Although asking your Tinder match to order while waiting is a good idea, being one hour late is not. This will most likely result in you getting stuck with the bill. Better late than never though . . . right?

After a week of back-to-back Tinder dates, you start mixing up everyone’s names. To avoid a Ross-Geller-altar situation, we suggest you and your significant other wear name tags up until your second child leaves for college at the very least.

TAURUS — Apr 20 –May 20

SCORPIO — Oct 23–Nov 21

You like to take risks. On the first date, you propose with a ring pop. While some may think this is a rushed decision, lucky for you, your date also came prepared with a candy necklace to seal the deal.

You see every date as a competition. This is great for your win record but terrible for the hopeful hearts you’ve crushed along the way. Ask yourself on the next date if quickly finishing that spumoni ice cream is really worth all those tears at the Spaghetti Factory.

GEMINI — May 21–Jun 20

SAGITTARIUS — Nov 22–Dec 21

Your date’s food always looks better than yours. They offer you a bite, but you end up eating half the meal. If you split the bill, you might as well split the meal, right?

You only text back your date when you’re half asleep.

You usually get away with it too, until your conversation last night, where you asked to make it official. We’re sorry to say, but you texted the wrong person. There’s still time though! Just blame it on autocorrect!

CANCER — Jun 21–Jul 22

CAPRICORN — Dec 22–Jan 19

As a big believer in destiny, you tend to wait for the perfect opportunity to fall into your lap. Instead of going to speed dating to meet people, you wait for others to approach you.

Unfortunately, your crush has the same dating technique and has been waiting for you to ask them out.

You’re often so shy on the first date you decide to copy everything your date does. This would be fine, except you keep going on dates with people who order spicy food, and you can barely handle black pepper.

LEO — Jul 23–Aug 22

AQUARIUS — Jan 20 –Feb 18

You expect your love life to be like Nicholas Sparks’ novels, so you spend hours writing long letters. Your long letters ramble on and on about every little detail of your day, and your partner rarely has the time to finish them. Ever heard of voice messaging?

You’re the kind of person who insists on having matching couple outfits with your significant other every day. This, unfortunately, led to a lot of laundry confusion and shirts being stretched out. Maybe consider taking at least one day off next week.

VIRGO — Aug 23–Sept 22

PISCES — Feb 19–Mar 20

Every relationship needs compromise, except for when it comes to costume parties. You love to outshine your partner. Last week, you dressed up as Fiona from Shrek, but you gave your partner a Lord Farquaad costume.

Next time, maybe let them pick the outfit?

You’ve had your eye on your crush since the semester started. We suggest trying to make your crush jealous by sending yourself a bouquet of roses and acting overly surprised when it shows up. But be careful! Your acting has the potential of being so convincing your crush decides to date someone else.

COMICS BY SARA BRINKAC

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Sports Editor Isabella Urbani | Sports Writer Greg Makarov | sports@the-peak.ca

SPORTS FAMILY TIES

We both rely on each other a lot; probably more than we would like to admit at times.

GEO RGI A O GG / / SFU SOFTBALL PLAYER

SPORTS

February 22, 2022

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DIVERSIONS

Business Manager Yuri Zhou

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business@the-peak.ca

CROSSWORD

SUDOKU

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