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Humour Editor Sara Brinkac
HUMOUR
69 LIST LOVE
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humour@the-peak.ca
things to do at SFU
The Ultimate Chaotic SFU Bucketlist
Hannah Kazemi, Peak Associate 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35. 36. 37. 38. 39. 40. 41. 42. 43. 44. 45. 46. 47. 48. 49. 50. 51. 52. 53. 54. 55. 56. 57. 58. 59. 60. 61. 62. 63. 64. 65. 66. 67. 68. 69.
Touch the avocado Actually, maybe don’t touch the avocado Roast marshmallows at the fire pits Write for The Peak Join a sorority to figure out why the fuck people join sororities Have the AQ Wi-Fi crash in the middle of your Zoom lecture Go to puppy therapy Smuggle a puppy out of puppy therapy Run for the 144 Miss the 144 Complain about how cold it is Walk to Burnaby Mountain Park Go to the Trottier Observatory Wait outside the Trottier Observatory for hours because of COVID-19 restrictions — and you were too busy getting high to get there early Volunteer at TEDxSFU Complain about the construction Stand awkwardly outside of your professor’s office waiting for office hours Accidentally make eye contact with the person leaving your professor’s office hours Run away from a raccoon Vandalize the avocado Sell your right arm to buy an SFU hoodie Take a nap on the bottom floor of WMC Hope that nobody steals your laptop Take an astrology class Realize three weeks into it that you actually enrolled in astronomy Take a selfie with Joy Johnson Become Supreme Marshmallow Outdoor Roast Educator Switch majors Switch majors again Realise in your last semester you’d rather be majoring in your minor and while you could switch majors again, you’ve also already have spent one third of your life in university and are thousands of dollars in debt Just accept your degree knowing it won’t make a difference after graduation anyways Play one of the grand pianos Get day drunk at Biercraft Write a panic-email to ask your prof for an extension Save your panic-email as a draft and don’t actually send it Regret not sending your panic-email Buy a salad from the robot vending machine Take a nap in the nap room Get in an argument via Facebook comment section with someone from the SFSS Get in an argument with someone in an argument with the SFSS because, what the fuck, they are more annoying than the person in the SFSS you were arguing with to begin with Run for a position in the SFSS Regret it immediately Get lost in RCB and complain about it Buy a carrot muffin from Renaissance Buy a poster at the poster sale Become a TA Also regret it immediately Trip walking up the Saywell Hall stairs Post a screenshot of your schedule on Must Knows Make fun of people who post screenshots of their schedules on Must Knows Get stranded on campus when the buses stop running Attend an SFU Football game Cheer for the other team Take a selfie with McFogg Walk in circles around the AQ Walk in . . . lines (?) around West Mall Test out all of the bathrooms on campus Transit between all three campuses in one day Take a night class Take an 8:30 a.m. and hate yourself for the rest of the semester Fall off of the climbing wall at the Lorne Davies Complex Get a ticket the one day you decide not to pay for parking Walk through the AQ courtyard in October Realise you’re walking in the middle of a convocation ceremony Cry because, while you’ve been here for what feels like a million years, you’re not actually a part of the convocation ceremony Submit a meme to SFU Dank Memes Gang Put “SFU” in your Instagram bio Remove “SFU” from your Instagram bio Have sex in the avocado
PHOTO: Krystal Chan / The Peak BACKGROUND: João Vítor Duarte / Unsplash LAYOUT: Kitty Cheung
