Peach Magazine - Holiday Eye Candy Issue 45

CONTENTS

NOVEMBER 20, 2019

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EDITORIAL

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From the Editor

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With all the noise of that’s going on in the world, you can lose track of what is important to you and what you are thankful for which is why Thanksgiving is such a cherished holiday to many.

It is a time to gather around with your chosen, extended, and related family and loved ones and acknowledge what we have in our lives to be thankful for.

Here at Peach, we are thankful that you continue to allow us to be a part of this vibrant community as the premier and most picked up guide to all things LGBTQ+ in Atlanta and beyond. We promise to continue to be a support and cheerleader to this amazing community, and as we look to another year, we have plenty of great things in store for you – so keep on reading and stay tuned!

Happy Thanksgiving, Peaches!

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The content of Peach ATL Media is for your general information and use only. It is subject to change without notice. The opinions expressed by any writer, advertiser, or other person appearing in the Peach ATL Media are not necessarily those of this publication, its management or staff. The information and materials appearing in the magazine are not guaranteed or warranted as to accuracy, timeliness, performance, completeness, or suitability of the information and materials found or offered for a particular purpose. It shall be your responsibility to ensure that any products, services, or information available through Peach ATL Media meets your specific requirements. Peach ATL Media is not responsible for claims made by advertisers, content of information, changes, events, and schedules. The magazine contains information and material which is owned by or licensed to Peach ATL Media, including but not limited to articles, advertisements, design, layout, graphics, and logos. No part or portion of Peach ATL Media may be reproduced in any way without the prior written consent of the publisher.

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6 | 11.20.19

By Mikkel Hyldebrandt D. Barret Broussard was recently elected President of Stonewall Bar Association of Georgia. Peach caught up with Barrett to talk about his hopes and ambitions for his newly appointed position.

Congratulations on your election – how does it feel?

It is a humbling honor and a full-circle moment.

I remember attending SBA’s annual dinner in 2010 as a first-year law student, and SBA has provided me with ample opportunities since then. I am excited to give back to the community that gave so much to me when I launched my career.

Tell us a little bit about who you are and what got you here?

I am an attorney who specializes in representing clients in business conflicts. Although I have lived in Washington, Los Angeles, New Orleans, and Provo for various amounts of time, I fell in love with Atlanta when I moved here nine years ago to attend Emory Law School. In addition to my involvement with the Stonewall Bar Association, I am on the Lambda Legal Atlanta Leadership Council, and I am active in the LEAD Atlanta Alumni Association. I am known as a loud Cajun from Louisiana. Currently, I live in Midtown Atlanta, and you can often catch me on my bike on the Beltline or enjoying local drag shows.

Can you provide us with a little background on the work that the association does?

SBA plays an important role in elevating the interests and recognition of LGBTQ people in the legal profession and the judiciary. Our work in the greater LGBTQ movement is to change the culture of the profession and judiciary throughout Georgia to ensure that all LGBTQ people — both advocates and clients — have equal access to justice. When I say access to justice, I mean the ability to navigate legal processes and pursue relief or defense without the legal process itself hampering someone for their queer identity.

What is your role in the organization?

As president, I manage and coordinate the work of our committees. SBA is a completely volunteer-based organization, and our out activities are driven by the work of our committees. I see my role as being a guide for the passionate volunteers’ work to our shared goals.

8 | 11.20.19

Can you shed some light on some of the initiatives you plan to work on?

My immediate goal is to develop a strategy to consistently engage LGBTQ legal professionals throughout the state to meet SBA’s goal of statewide presence, rather than being Atlantacentric. By activating our membership across the state from Columbus to Savannah and Blue Ridge to Valdosta, we can accomplish our goals throughout Georgia. Additionally, I plan to develop strong relationships with the other diversity-focused bar associations in Georgia, as well as LGBTQ organizations throughout the United States, and especially those in the South. By enhancing these networks, we enhance the LGBTQ community’s seat at the table where decisions are made.

What are some of the legal obstacles the LGBTQ+ community still face to this day?

The legal profession and judiciary are slow to change, which presents obstacles for the dynamic LGBTQ community. Problems arise for LGBTQ people in the law because legal language does not readily accommodate the rich diversity of identities in our community. It was not long ago that the law did not recognize women as separate legal beings from their husbands (and only used the pronoun “he”), so just imagine the issues we face in integrating gender nonbinary identity into the language of law. Queer identity exists outside the power structure that led to things like language and gender norms, so SBA’s work is to bring attention to that in the legal profession.

What do you hope to achieve in this new position?

I plan to push the legal profession to reflect the LGBTQ community. I want any person to be able to enter any courtroom in Georgia and get relief or defend themselves, regardless of their identity. I want LGBTQ legal professionals to be able to advocate without other people causing queer identity to be a hindrance in providing legal representation. Until judges, lawyers, and clerks can administer justice without noting a queer person’s identity, we will have work to do.

Anything you’d like to add?

I want to thank my law firm, Carlton Fields, for supporting my endeavor and providing its resources to the work of SBA. Carlton Fields’ commitment to diversity is unassailable, and it has been generous to me and invested in SBA’s work.

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By Kevin Assam Luke Willis, formerly of the San Francisco Ballet and Aspen Santa Fe Ballet, makes his directorial debut with his LGBTQ+ short thriller, “The Summer House.” Luke reflects on his pivot from acting to dance and now, film, while explaining the early influences of the church on his identity.

music, and talking about the meaning of life.

It was actually an excellent study of music and good storytelling.

Where did you grow up and what was the attitude there toward men pursuing dance as a form of art?

I grew up in Jacksonville, which is a very different version of Florida from South Florida and especially Key West. The First Baptist and large non-denominational churches are the largest cultural institutions there. I was lucky to grow up with music and theater in my life, but ballet and dance was definitely a past time for girls only. My understanding from the people around me was that dance was frivolously effeminate. Boy, was I wrong. It turns out that several studies conducted over the past forty years have consistently found ballet to be the most challenging and rigorous sport, second only to boxing. It also turns out that the world of ballet outside of the USA attracts many more straight males than gay or bisexual ones for the exact reason that it is the most challenging sport around.

How would you describe your relationship with Jesus now after going through what could be described as a form of conversion therapy?

I think that his story is one of the greatest stories ever told. The character of Jesus is the type of hero that all humans crave to be and to hear stories about, whether or not he was real. I am not a religious person, but there is a beautiful universality to all religions. The stories of religion offer great insight into the role of the story teller in human civilizations. Writers, actors, and directors — we are the priests and witchdoctors of modern day. We tell the stories and create the mythologies that shape the way people think and feel, just as the writers of the Bible, the Torah, the Qur’an, the Sutras, and the Vedas did in their time and place.

Was ballet integral to your coming out to your family about your sexual orientation?

Not really. I first came out to my parents when I was 14, long before I started pursuing ballet.

At 16, I found Jesus and was “healed” of my “sin” of homosexuality until my mid-twenties.

If anything, my pursuit of ballet was an all consuming distraction that allowed me to put off coming to terms with my sexuality.

What did finding Jesus involve?

Mostly a lot of bible study, Christian praise 10 | 11.20.19

Did SNL’s Molly Shannon’s “Superstar” ever find its way into your path to Christ?

I love Molly Shannon! Great movie.

Does that mean you prayed to the Lord to get out of dodge and reconcile your proclivity for dance with acting?

[Laughs] Exactly!

There’s no anger left between you and the church for its attempts to “save” you?

There is anger and frustration at times. That fuels me to work towards a better future for the next generation. I don’t think anger, fighting, and retaliation gets us there. Changing people’s hearts and minds is a slow and subtle thing.

Arguing puts them on the defensive and makes our work harder. We have to show them and

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Luke Willis, formerly of the San Francisco Ballet and Aspen Santa Fe Ballet, makes his directorial debut with his LGBTQ+ short thriller, “The Summer House.” Luke reflects on his pivot from acting to dance and now, film, while explaining the early influences of the church on his identity.

Where did you grow up and what was the attitude there toward men pursuing dance as a form of art?

I grew up in Jacksonville, which is a very different version of Florida from South Florida and especially Key West. The First Baptist and large non-denominational churches are the largest cultural institutions there. I was lucky to grow up with music and theater in my life, but ballet and dance was definitely a past time for girls only. My understanding from the people around me was that dance was frivolously effeminate. Boy, was I wrong. It turns out that several studies conducted over the past forty years have consistently found ballet to be the most challenging and rigorous sport, second only to boxing. It also turns out that the world of ballet outside of the USA attracts many more straight males than gay or bisexual ones for the exact reason that it is the most challenging sport around.

Was ballet integral to your coming out to your family about your sexual orientation?

Not really. I first came out to my parents when I was 14, long before I started pursuing ballet.

At 16, I found Jesus and was “healed” of my “sin” of homosexuality until my mid-twenties.

If anything, my pursuit of ballet was an all consuming distraction that allowed me to put off coming to terms with my sexuality.

What did finding Jesus involve?

Mostly a lot of bible study, Christian praise music, and talking about the meaning of life.

It was actually an excellent study of music and good storytelling.

Did SNL’s Molly Shannon’s “Superstar” ever find its way into your path to Christ?

I love Molly Shannon! Great movie.

How would you describe your relationship with Jesus now after going through what could be described as a form of conversion therapy?

I think that his story is one of the greatest stories ever told. The character of Jesus is the type of hero that all humans crave to be and to hear stories about, whether or not he was real. I am not a religious person, but there is a beautiful universality to all religions. The stories of religion offer great insight into the role of the story teller in human civilizations. Writers, actors, and directors — we are the priests and witchdoctors of modern day. We tell the stories and create the mythologies that shape the way people think and feel, just as the writers of the Bible, the Torah, the Qur’an, the Sutras, and the Vedas did in their time and place.

12 | 11.20.19

Does that mean you prayed to the Lord to get out of dodge and reconcile your proclivity for dance with acting?

[Laughs] Exactly!

There’s no anger left between you and the church for its attempts to “save” you?

There is anger and frustration at times. That fuels me to work towards a better future for the next generation. I don’t think anger, fighting, and retaliation gets us there. Changing people’s hearts and minds is a slow and subtle thing.

Arguing puts them on the defensive and makes our work harder. We have to show them and convince them of a new way through empathy.

It’s cheesy, but we have to fight hate with love.

It’s the hardest thing to do. It’s the only way.

There is a Baptist pastor in Greenville, SC, Jim Dant, who defends our community in a beautiful way using bible verse. I love that.

When did you start gaining traction with ballet?

I had to make a choice after my two years of training while on leave from Boston University.

I went to audition for companies and I was offered four different jobs. I chose to join the Aspen Santa Fe Ballet, which was the greatest decision. It is a small company of 10 dancers that brings in some of the hottest contemporary ballet choreographers in the world. I got to work with some amazing people in that intimate setting. No large company offers that opportunity. Plus, I got to live in Aspen, which wasn’t too shabby. Three years into dancing with ASFB, I was invited to audition for the San Francisco Ballet, the oldest and arguably best ballet company in the world. I wouldn’t really have considered dancing for any other large ballet company beside SFB perhaps excepting Boston Ballet.

Did you age out of ballet into film?

Luckily, no. I was no spring chicken when I retired, but I definitely left a good 5–10 years early. I retired happy, uninjured, and on my own terms. I was so grateful for the career I had, but I also knew I had another passion nagging at me in the background the whole time.

You were the Assistant Editor for the documentary Gay Chorus Deep South. How did that come about?

That was one of the luckiest things. Right after school, one of my mentors, Jesse Moss, came to me about a project he was producing on the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus, which he knew I had been a member of in 2013. He got me an interview with the director to come on board as the archival researcher. That quickly

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By Mike Bahr Photo: Helix Studios

Ashton Summers admits he’s always had a thing for people watching him while he’s having sex.

The tall, athletic, and extraordinarily personable former dancer - he shimmies to everything move from jazz to hip-hop to classic ballet is originally from Puerto Rico and says he has never been shy about getting it on in public.

Why should he be? His lean and mean, bronze body is every twink lover’s dream. He’s very active on his socials and loves to give his fans what they want: more photos! His tips to young guys, who aspire to follow in his footsteps: be nice, professional, and respectful of people’s time. That’s sound advice for everyone!

The new photos are spectacular, Ashton.

Thanks! I wasn’t expecting to be shooting that day.

What did you have to do to prepare for the shoot?

I didn’t do anything except comb my hair as nicely as possible and pose.

14 | 11.20.19

Has the camera always loved you?

Growing up, I was always kinda shy in front of the camera. When I first started modeling, it was hard to come out of my shell. Now it’s pretty easy!

Were you always so lean and muscular?

Yes, I grew up in sports. Did them my whole life.

As a kid, ,y teams and friends were always my biggest support system.

Were you close with your family?

Yes, my family has also been supportive. Even with my career decisions. When my mother found out I was doing adult films, she was most concerned that I was doing it safely.

What led to your career in adult film?

I studied architecture in college. It was intense.

I had no time for friends or a full-time job. I literally had no social life. I needed a way to pay my tuition.

What do you love most about the adult industry?

I get to meet a lot of people and it’s really fun.

Travis Brookshire Paul Holland Mara Davis Arlene Noriega Jeff Giadone Jeff Paramore Team Ellis Richard Pagano & Tom Thomas Ryan Roemerman & Nathan Stein

Ashton Summers admits he’s always had a thing for people watching him while he’s having sex.

The tall, athletic, and extraordinarily personable former dancer - he shimmies to everything move from jazz to hip-hop to classic ballet is originally from Puerto Rico and says he has never been shy about getting it on in public.

Why should he be? His lean and mean, bronze body is every twink lover’s dream. He’s very active on his socials and loves to give his fans what they want: more photos! His tips to young guys, who aspire to follow in his footsteps: be nice, professional, and respectful of people’s time. That’s sound advice for everyone!

The new photos are spectacular, Ashton.

Thanks! I wasn’t expecting to be shooting that day.

What did you have to do to prepare for the shoot?

I didn’t do anything except comb my hair as nicely as possible and pose.

I’m more a romantic .

What superhero do you most identify with?

Superman because he flies and I’m a free soul!

What would a film of your life be called, and who would star as you in it?

It would be called “The Truth” and star me, of course.

What’s your life motto?

Huh? Skip it. What makes you smile?

Everything, even the not very good things.

What makes you angry?

Hunger.

Your house is on fire. What one possession would you save?

My Dog. You’ve been given 24 hours to live. How do you spend your day?

Doing what I love with who I love.

Has the camera always loved you?

Growing up, I was always kinda shy in front of the camera. When I first started modeling, it was hard to come out of my shell. Now it’s pretty easy!

You can travel back in time. Where would you go, and what would you get up to?

I wouldn’t! Everything that I’ve been through is who I am now.

Were you always so lean and muscular?

Yes, I grew up in sports. Did them my whole life.

As a kid, ,y teams and friends were always my biggest support system.

What is the most beloved item of clothing in your wardrobe?

None! I wouldn’t count any of my clothes as important.

Were you close with your family?

Yes, my family has also been supportive. Even with my career decisions. When my mother found out I was doing adult films, she was most concerned that I was doing it safely.

Which celebrity would you most like to slide into your DMs? Shawn

What led to your career in adult film?

I studied architecture in college. It was intense.

I had no time for friends or a full-time job. I literally had no social life. I needed a way to pay my tuition.

What do you love most about the adult industry?

I get to meet a lot of people and it’s really fun.

What is the most difficult part about your job?

Not eating all day if I’m preparing for a bottoming scene. It’s a nightmare! Deep down, I’m a fatty.

How would (or does) your Grindr profile read?

Um, well, honestly, I have no idea!

Biggest turn-on?

Outdoor sex.

And turn-off?

Weird smells. Also, someone who doesn’t have good hygiene.

Worst pick-up line someone has said to you?

“I can’t wait to be in you” or “I want you in me.”

16 | 11.20.19

Mendes.

Such a cutie!

You’ve been abducted by aliens.

What is your parting message to planet Earth?

You could’ve done better!

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In June, the queen of modern country music, Miranda Lambert, stood alongside her gay brother, Luke, his husband and her own cop-husband, Brendan McLoughlin, at WorldPride in New York City. She beamed as brightly as the rainbow-colored “PRIDE” lettering on her neon green cap. In another pic, Lambert smirked, appearing delighted as her hand proudly called attention to a fella’s shirt that read, “We should all be Mirandas,” a nod to two very gay-loved things: Lambert and Sex and the City. The photos, which she hashtagged “ally” and “family,” were posted to her social media feed with the caption, “Happy Pride y’all!”

You also partied at the New York City gay country bar Flaming Saddles Saloon.

I love Flaming Saddles. It’s one of my favorite places.

(Laughs.)

Picture a name like Miranda Lambert, as pure country as country artists are in the genre’s modern era, documenting their immersive Pride adventures for all the world to see. Picture it 15 years ago. Picture it five years ago. Can’t? That’s because it wasn’t happening.

The 36-year-old Texas native is as country-bred and country-honored as they come, with 13 Country Music Association Awards and 33 Academy of Country Music Awards, more than any artist in the award show’s 54year history. Seven solo albums in – and 10 altogether, counting the three she recorded as part of girl-group Pistol Annies – Lambert’s music still packs a sassy, emotional, freewheeling punch on her latest, Wildcard.

You chronicled your day at Pride and Flaming Saddles on your social media, which still, in 2019, feels like a statement, especially when it’s coming from a major country artist like yourself. Why was it important to show your support for the LGBTQ community?

I didn’t even realize it was making a statement ’cause I just thought it was normal, and I guess what I mean by that is, I didn’t think it was stepping out of bounds or anything because to me it’s all the same, it doesn’t matter. And I was just there celebrating with my brother and his husband and having a great time. But if it makes somebody happy that I’m a supporter, I’m glad.

I didn’t realize it was that big of a deal, but I am glad that hopefully that made some people’s day ’cause like I said earlier, it was one of the happiest days.

Almost every single person just felt like being exactly who they were and I felt comfortable. In a city full of strangers, it was like this community bond, and I’ve never experienced anything like that.

After releasing one of the best albums of 2016, her double-disc divorce opus The Weight of These Wings, Lambert lets her hair down on Wildcard, turning the page on a rough patch. With newfound hope, she sings sweetly about the “bluebird in my heart,” and with fellow country artist Maren Morris, ultimately decides it’s best they let a hitman handle the cheating man they want to murder because “the way those jumpsuits wash us out, we’re way too pretty for prison.” Since her 2005 debut album Kerosene, and much like the LGBTQ allyship that has crept into her lyrics, Lambert has let her homespun ruminations on heartbreak, booze and setting things ablaze speak for themselves.

But on a recent call, Lambert opened up about the emotional experience she shared with her brother at her first Pride, wishing she had spoken up for the LGBTQ community sooner and how leaving her small Texas town opened her mind. Also, an epiphany: the country superstar has realized that, compared to a drag queen, she’s actually got it pretty damn easy.

What was special to you about being at WorldPride?

It was the happiest day. I’ve never seen that many people in that great of a mood in one place in my life. It was so cool, and there was glitter and rainbows everywhere. It was kind of like a little fantasyland, and I got to watch the parade with the NYPD from the best view ever behind a barricade, so I felt really special doin’ that (laughs). It was just lighthearted. Everybody had wings that day and I loved it.

Had you ever been to a Pride event before WorldPride?

I’d never before. It was my first time. And in New York City! So I did it big. And it was WorldPride too (laughs), and I just went straight for it. It was like, go outside and laugh and look at people and be happy, then go drink and then go back outside and laugh and look at people be happy. Then go drink. One of those days.

(Laughs.)

Had you thrown back a few at gay bars before Flaming Saddles?

No, that was my first real experience, and actually my hairstylist told me about it. I walked in the first time and they were doing a dance to “Only Prettier” on the bar and they didn’t know I was coming or anything (laughs). It was a coincidence and I was like, “Yes, I like this place. It’s awesome.”

Some people’s comments on your posts said they were no longer fans because you pledged your LGBTQ support.

I feel like the people who commented negatively weren’t my followers. When people say “unfollow,” they weren’t following me to begin with. (Laughs.)

Also, I don’t understand why people have time to get on social media and be negative. I think they should get a hobby or a job, or both. So I just don’t let those affect me. But I also know that if you’re polarizing, you must have an impact. Can’t be loved by everybody. So I try to take the good and run with that.

I can tell you that as a gay country music fan who grew up with very few artists in the country community who acknowledged our community, even though you may not realize it, you did make a statement.

Well, I’m glad. And I’ll make it every day. I have no shame about that. I’m very proud of it.

Why didn’t you declare solidarity earlier in your career?

Was it just that you hadn’t had the experience?

Yeah. And I didn’t not declare it, you know what I mean? (Laughs.) I guess I didn’t think it would matter that much if I did or not. But I also recorded a song called “All Kinds of Kinds” that was a single and there was a person (named Thomas in the song) who was a cross-dresser, so I kind of did but I just didn’t stand on a pedestal and wave a flag. I just kind of am who I am and sang about it. I didn’t get backlash for that either, because that song is amazing and it’s about anyone being whoever they wanna be.

That’s the first time I thought you might be an ally, but

still, it’s sometimes hard to know which country artists are on our side.

It kind of makes me sad that I didn’t (speak up) earlier if that’s how people feel. I just didn’t know that it was that big of a deal. But I’m glad to know that, hearing that from you.

Did having “All Kinds of Kinds” on the radio feel like LGBTQ progress was being made in country music?

To me, that was me making a huge statement but doing it through music, which is kind of how I make all my statements throughout my whole life and career. I kind of just tell everybody my truth through the lyrics, so I guess in a way “All Kinds of Kinds” was my way of stepping out and saying what I needed to say.

You sing the line, “Some point the finger and let ignorance linger.” What kind of ignorance were you referring to?

Oh, just judgy people (laughs). You know, with your community, the LB… I can’t ever say all the letters. I always mess it up. (Laughs.)

Ha! It’s LGBTQ. LGBTQ! (Laughs.) Everybody has a judgment. I grew up in the Bible Belt in a small town in east Texas, and I grew up in church, but the second I started to sing country music I was kind of shunned for doing secular music. So, to me, that song kind of encompassed all of that: circus freaks, or what some people call “freaks.”

But they were just being themselves. And then the cross-dressing congressman. And the girl that failed geometry. It was all of us. (Laughs.) To me, it was just ignorance in any way when people are small-minded and judgy.

Did you know a Thomas?

No (laughs). But I want to! I also want to know Phyllis, ’cause she has all the pills.

Honestly, if you have a Thomas and a Phyllis, who else do you need, really?

Exactly. Just the circus people. We’re good.

“All Kinds of Kinds” was released in 2011. I would like to think that now Thomas might be out and proud and wouldn’t have to live with, as the song’s lyrics go, “closets full of skeletons.”

I would hope you were right. And I hope for anyone who reads this interview maybe it’ll set ’em free because me and you are talking about it freely and happily. You know, I read about this guy somewhere that he was on the corner and had a (shirt) that said “Free Dad Hugs” for anyone whose dad won’t hug them during Pride week and 700-and-something people hugged this guy. When I was reading about it, I was crying. I thought it was the coolest thing I’d ever heard.

Growing up in Lindale, Texas, in a conservative, Baptist community, did you have any LGBTQ friends?

I guess I did, and I didn’t, because everybody was still afraid at that time. I mean, I’m 36 now, so in that town in that time frame it was still not the best, and the few kids I did know would confide in my mom, because my mom worked in our youth group and she was a really cool mom. You could kind of tell her everything.

But they weren’t really out about it yet, except for some of the kids in drama, which was my first experience with 22 | 11.20.19

the absolute sweetest, coolest, most creative people who were a couple of the gay guys in drama. I was kind of a band nerd and drama nerd. I didn’t make cheerleader, so I was kind of in that group, which I’m thankful for now ’cause it’s my living. I didn’t think anything of it, I guess. I didn’t judge it and I don’t judge it now. I just didn’t think it was a big deal in my mind ’cause I was raised to accept everybody.

What kind of support did you offer your brother when he came out to you?

I support him 100 percent in whatever he does. He is a brilliant individual and the most amazing person, and just so genuine. Growing up in the same household, we’re way different. He has no accent, he doesn’t really like country music (laughs). But he did call me and tell me he loved this record, which meant a lot coming from him. We grew up in the same house, but we grew up differently because I’m still pretty much a country girl at heart, and he lives in Austin and he’s way cooler than me.

What was it like to share the Pride experience with him?

It was so special, and when he was giving me permission to post about it, we both cried because it was such a big moment. I see now, talking about it, why it’s a big moment for other people: because it was a big moment for us too. So I’m just glad that he was OK with that, and we could share that moment and be supportive of each other no matter what we’re doing or who we are.

Your song “Heart Like Mine” makes me think your God is one who loves everybody, including the LGBTQ community. Is that true?

One-hundred percent. You know, I think that “Heart Like Mine” is another good example, just like “All Kinds of Kinds,” that says, “I am who I am.” We’re all flawed in some way, but I don’t think your sexuality is one of those things you should be judged by ever. You know, Catholics drink wine and I always thought that was cool, ’cause Baptists don’t. It’s like, Jesus did, y’all! It’s in the Bible!

I just think you should be who you are and try to be a good person in whatever that means for you. I think the negative people and the people that are like, “Believe like me,” or, “Your vote doesn’t count,” I don’t understand that mentality. Especially being in this business and being around all kinds of different people, it’s really even opened my eyes more. I’m so thankful for that, because I love the town I grew up in – they are so supportive of me and always have been – but it definitely is good to get out and see other views.

How has being a part of the music business opened your mind?

I think it’s easy to get wrapped up in small-town mentality if you want to, but I know a lot of people in my hometown and in small towns across America that are just as open as anybody and just as supportive of any lifestyle you choose. I guess it’s just up to the person to be willing to push their boundaries.

To promote your newest album, you’ve been posting shirtless photos of your husband on Instagram.

Yeah, you’re welcome. (Laughs.)

Ha! Yes, thank you. What’s hotter, though, is a straight, married man who’s comfortable enough with his

sexuality that he can go to a gay Pride parade. Are you drawn to men who share the same diverse and openminded views that you do?

I think I am now more than ever because of my brother and because of all the things that we’ve been through together. It just kind of opened my mind even more.

And Brendan, when I met him and started Googling him, of course – who’s not going to? You can google anybody these days – his video had gone viral for dancing at Pride and he knew he was probably going to get in trouble for it, but he did it anyway. That makes me love him even more, because he’s just that person.

I’ve put some thought into a “Way Too Pretty For Prison” video, and what about casting a Miranda and Maren drag queen?

I would love that! I think that is amazing. In fact, during Pride week I went to a club, which I don’t go to clubs anymore (laughs). I didn’t think I ever did go to clubs, but I was like, “I’m all in, I’m doing the whole bit,” and I met Sabel (Scities) and she’s amazing.

She’s from Austin and (laughs) she had on the heaviest earrings and had to wear a fishing line to hold them on because there were so many rhinestones on them.

The earnings were amazing, and I was like, “How are you keeping them on, ’cause they’re clip-ons?” and she was like, “I have fishing wire in my weave” and I was like, “What?!” It was crazy.

And I mean, just the makeup! I think I have it bad to get ready for shows – this shit is legit. (Laughs.) I mean, so much effort and so cool, and I feel like I got an inside track into what all goes into the drag and I

think it’s amazing. I have much more appreciation now (for drag queens) than I ever did before. So yes, I’m gonna work on your concept. I think Taylor (Swift) kind of stole that, but we could just go ahead and go on her heels. (Laughs.)

Looking back on your videography, you’ve served some real looks. Where would you recommend a drag queen turn for some inspiration?

I would say “Mama’s Broken Heart” has some pretty good inspiration. It’s just all too much!

To end: What does it mean to you knowing that as a visible ally now, you’re making young smalltown LGBTQ country fans, maybe even ones in your hometown of Lindale, feel like they’re OK? It means a lot that you kind of opened my eyes to that, to be honest. And that we talked about it, because I just kind of maybe didn’t make a big enough deal about it because I didn’t realize it would make an impact. But I do have a platform and I try to use it for the better.

I save dogs, and if this is what I use my platform for, just to push something positive, if this can be added to that, then I’m all about it, I’m all in. And now I realize that I need to be a little more present and vocal at times when I need to be, so thanks for that.

-As editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBTQ wire service, Chris Azzopardi has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Cher, Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. His work has also appeared in The New York Times, Vanity Fair, GQ and Billboard. Reach him via Twitter @chrisazzopardi.

CREATED BY

RICHARD WINCHESTER

WRITTEN BY

MARK SARGENT

DEC 5–21, 2019

This riotous camp classic is based on the actual Christmas Eve live radio broadcast from Joan Tickets: $15 and up Crawford’s Brentwood mansion in 1949, filled with exaggerated silver screen icons such as: Out Front Theatre Company Judy Garland, Carmen Miranda, Gloria Swanson, 999 Brady Avenue, Atlanta Hedda Hopper, Ethel Merman, the Andrews Sisters, and more!

www.OutFrontTheatre.com

OUT LOUD

cabaret, concert & comedy series

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General Admission $25 VIP $40 outfronttheatre.com

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Atlanta Fine Homes, LLC fully supports the principles of the Fair Housing Act and the Equal Opportunity Act. Each franchise is independently owned and operated.

26 | 11.20.19

Christopher is a Realtor with Common Ground Real Estate. He started his career after working as a professional dancer and is now approaching his 4th year as an agent. He still pursues his passion today, and apart from getting a degree in dance at KSU, he was a company member with Staibdance and is also the choreographer to Phoenix from RPDR. In his free time, he likes to sing and play the guitar, and he loves learning languages and traveling as well. He recently became a doggie daddy to a Shi-Poo rescue baby named Ari.

PRIDE MEMORIES @ PIEDMONT PARK PHOTOS: PEACH PHOTOBOOTH

28 | 11.20.19

You deserve Personalized Care & Individual Attention – that’s what we deliver at Family Health Care of Atlanta • Participating in many clinical trials • Certiied HIV Specialist, American Academy of HIV Medicine • 20+ years experience in Family & HIV Care SPECIALIZING IN DERMATOLOGY, STD’S, ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, UROLOGY, PSYCHIATRIC DISORDERS

To prepare yourself for a Holiday weekend with the related or extended family, you may want to blow off some steam before you go into family mode for Thanksgiving.

Thankfully, Wednesday night before Thanksgiving is the perfect night for doing just that.

Apart from patronizing all the local bars and clubs, here are a few fun things to do.

Thanksgiving Eve at the Heretic

Thanksgiving Eve with Dave Audé

The party has grown into a tradition, and it’s the place you go to see your friends and tell them how thankful you are for them before the feast and family time. Dj Eric James will keep the dancefloor busy all night.

Wednesday, November 27, 10 pm – 3 am The Heretic

Dave Aude is back to spin and kick off the Holiday season!

Opening set by DJ Rob Reum Wednesday, November 27, 9 pm TEN Atlanta

Decades Dance Party DJ Mister Richard is taking you on an adventure through the decades and will be playing a new decade each hour of the night.

Wednesday, November 27, 10 pm – 3 am Atlanta Eagle

Thanksgiving Eve Karaoke

Deep Dive Eve

The 23rd Annual Karaoke Bash kicks off the Holiday season Dive into Thanksgiving at the Hideaway with Deep Eddy Vodka drink specials that will definitely make it a fun night at MSR – hosted by Thad Steven. before Turkey day!

Wednesday, November 27, , 6 pm – 2:30 am Wednesday, November 27, , 5 pm – 2:30 am MSR My Sisters Room The Hideaway

30 | 11.20.19

WELCOME TO ATLANTA’S NEWEST NIGHTCLUB THAT YOU WILL LOVE FOR YEARS! CELEBRATE THANKSGIVING WITH US DINNER 6PM - 8PM JOIN US TUESDAYS DRAG QUEENS SUNDAYS DRAG KINGS WELCOME YOUR ALL STAR STAFF ADAM - JUSTINFACE - JOSH - KIT-KATT & BOB 1086 ALCO ST NE, ATLANTA, GA 30324

Happy Thanksgiving Monday Open Mic Comedy Night 8pm Tuesday Trivia w/ DeWayne Morgan 8:30pm Wednesday Thanksgiving Eve Party 8pm Thanksgiving Day Friendsgiving Pot Luck 4pm

1544 PIEDMONT AVE, NE ATLANTA, GA 30324 ANSLEY MALL BEHIND PUBLIX

Make Thanksgiving Sexy Again

follow Mitzi @itsmitzip

“Again?” You might be asking. Yes! Unknown by many celebrators of this anti-Summer-body holiday, Thanksgiving used to be pretty sexy. Back in pre-Salem days when pureblood witches roamed the skies over a virgin North America, the Pilgrims and the natives used to get down and dirty on this merry occasion. After the passing of the Treaty of My Titty, many history books were not allowed to share this fascinating history of the early Thanksgiving celebrations. To educate you on a piece of history every American should know, here are some interesting tidbits of the early Thanksgiving traditions.

Have you ever wondered WHY we stuff turkeys and eat them, but not other animals?

Allegedly, the early Pilgrims saw a native tribe perform some sort of mystical arts on a turkey one day and they led themselves to believe these fowl beasts possessed magical properties.

As the story goes, Captain Good’idea decided to roast the bird on an open fire to absorb its powers by eating it. His half-brother, Captain Bad’idea, believed the way to the bird’s magic was through unprotected sex. Over time, the two captains’ stories changed a little, but nevertheless, it led to the tradition we enjoy today of placing this majestically-fucked bird at the center piece of every Thanksgiving table.

I mentioned earlier about witches roaming North America. Believe it or not, before the Salem witch trials burned many of the witches at the stake, they used to be very common.

For most denizens North America, they were a small inconvenience. Like the noisy neighbor who decides to do a few rails of coke and turn up their music in the middle of the night on a Wednesday, witches were sometimes annoying, but also fun to party with. Each Thanksgiving, they would turn their cauldrons out with some of the strongest booze you ever had. They called it Witches’ Brew and its alcohol levels put moonshine to shame. The drink made people hallucinate and perform an activity called The No-Homo Centipede. It’s when you lock bodies with other people mouth-to-mouth and anus-to-anus, using a totemlike object to plug the holes together. The tradition became unpopular as male Pilgrims got mad because no one would say “no homo” while participating. Although the fine details of this tradition vanished into history, if you ever wondered why people REALLY drink on Thanksgiving, this is the reason.

If you’ve asked yourself why adults and kids sit at different tables, that tradition is a pretty funny one. So, back in OG Thanksgiving days, the kids would eat their meal and run off to do kid stuff. The adults, on the other hand, would enjoy after-dinner activities that were on the kinkier side. Back in those times, it was very common for women and men to purge their food, so as to remain slender. The task was no fun, until one pioneer woman named Helena Bo-Belena came along and made a game of it! Essentially all the adults would grab the nearest person, and go down on them until both parties erupted with relief.

Some of these traditions were fun, some were gross, and all were probably made up. But I hope they lighten your spirit and keep your holidays sexy and drunk!

Yours in sexying up Thanksgiving,

Mitzi Pennington is the self-proclaimed sex symbol and advice-giving-guru alter ego of Mirza Muftic. She came from humble roots of middle America and married into money shorly after dropping out of college. Her late husband’s fortune allows her to travel the world andhave a sense of enlightenment one normally gets from actually working for their money. Mirza has had none of those experiences in his life. On occasion, Mirza will perform as Mitzi around Atlanta. His other interests/day job include film editing, retouching, and stop-motion animation.

32 | 11.20.19

VOLTA CIRQUE DU SOLEIL EQUALITY NIGHT @ UNDER THE BIG TOP PHOTOS: MH

November 20 – November 27

The Potter Hour: Hogwarts After Dark

MAAP Pride in Tech

You’re invited to the Potter Hour where 7 Stages is turned into A fun night of trivia, light bites, and refreshments with plenty Hogwarts for all muggles, witches, and wizards alike for a night of of time for networking with like-minded people in the tech comedy, music, drag, and spoken word all about Harry Potter. field. Register for free on Eventbrite.

Friday, November 22, 8 pm 7 Stages STAFF PICK!

Thursday, November 21, 6-8 pm New Relic (WeWork, Colony Square)

ABETTERBUZZ Holiday Pop Up If you love the new Woofs, you’re going to love it even more on this day when ABETTERBUZZ will set up a pop-up shop at the bar - the perfect chance to get your Holiday shopping started!

Saturday, November 23, 4-9 pm Woofs Atlanta

Ritual: Masquerade Ball

LMAO with Monét X Change

Welcome to the Grande Gothic Masquerade Ball hosted by Monét X Change from RuPaul’s Drag Race comes to Atlanta RITUAL. Step into a world of mystery and darkness and put for a hilarious night of comedy queens featuring comedic on your mask as you step onto the dancefloor. drag performances some of your favorite local performers, including Brigitte Bidet, Phoenix, Miss He, and more.

Friday, November 22, 10 pm – 3 am Tickets by Eventbrite.

The Heretic Saturday, November 23, 9 pm MSR My Sisters Room

34 | 11.20.19

MIDTOWN 1

Monroe Dr. NE

14

Amsterdam Ave.

NE ve . tA

Piedmont Park

on

11

dm

6 12th St. NE

18

Pi e

Juniper St. NE

14th St. NE

7

9

2

10th St. NE

10

. NE

19

oe Dr

e. NE Piedmont Av

Juniper St . NE

Peachtree St. NE

3

Monr

C h a r l e s Al l e n D r . N E

12 W. Peachtree St. NW

15

16

P o n c e D e L e o n Pl . N E

Spring St. NW

17

4th St. NE

8

13

Ponce De Leon Ave. NE

4

Ponce De Leon Ave. NE

BARS 1 2 3 4

Amsterdam Blake's Bulldogs Friends

6 My Sister’s Room 7 Ten Atlanta

Dining 502 Amsterdam Ave NE 227 10th St NE 893 Peachtree St NE 736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE 66 12th St NE 990 Piedmont Ave NE

clubs 13 Atlanta Eagle

306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

14 Urban Body Fitness 500 Amsterdam Ave NE

spa/bath 15 Flex Spa

36 | 11.20.19

991 Piedmont Ave NE 980 Piedmont Ave NE 1077 Juniper St NE 931 Monroe Cir NE

fitness

retail 8 Barking Leather

9 10 th & Piedmont 10 Campagnolo 11 Einstein's 12 F.R.O.G.S

76 4th St. NW

16 G’s Midtown 17 Henry’s 18 Joe's on Juniper 19 La Hacienda

219 10th St NE 132 10th St NE 1049 Juniper St NE 900 Monroe Dr NE

billards/Darts drag dancers leather non-smoking area Patio

When the world throws you Let be your savedandgay.com

Cheshire 23

ansley 21

eR

38 d.

on tC ir .

Piedmont Park

BARS 20 BJ Roosters 21 Sequel 22 Tripps 23 Woof's

BARS 2043 Cheshire Bridge Rd 1086 Alco St NE 1931 Piedmont Cir NE 2425 Piedmont Rd NE

Dining 24 Las Margaritas 25 Roxx

1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd 1824 Cheshire Bridge Rd 1510 Piedmont Ave Suite A 2205 Cheshire Bridge Rd

clubs 28 Heretic 29 Tokyo Valentino

2069 Cheshire Bridge Rd 1739 Cheshire Bridge Rd

Fitness 30 Gravitee Fitness

2201 Faulkner Rd NE

Spa/bath 31 Manifest 4 U 42 The Den

32 Midtown Moon 33 Felix's 34 The Hideaway 35 Mixx 36 Oscar's

2103 Faulkner Rd NE 2135 Liddell Drive NE

1492 Piedmont Ave NE 1510 Piedmont Ave NE 1544 Piedmont Ave NE 1492 Piedmont Ave NE 1510 Piedmont Ave NE

Dining 38 Eclectic Bistro

Retail 26 Barking Leather 27 Southern Nights

NE

39

36

25 idg

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41

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33

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29

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34

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Manchester St. NE

Piedmont Rd.

22

42 L

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30

Lambert Dr.

PU

St.

d.

A l co

1600 Piedmont Ave NE 1425 Piedmont Ave NE

Retail 39 Boy Next Door 1447 Piedmont Ave NE 40 Brushstrokes/Pleasures 1510 Piedmont Ave NE

Fitness 41 Equilibrium Fitness

NOT SHOWN

Mary's Sister Louisa’s Church Swinging Richards Lips Atlanta The T

1529 Piedmont Ave, Suite L

1287 Glenwood Ave SE 466 Edgewood Ave SE 1400 Northside Dr NW 3011 Buford Hwy NE 465 Boulevard SE

A snapshot of Gay Atlanta’s favorite destinations. View their ads in Peach ATL & visit their websites for weekly event listings.

MIDTOWN

EAST ATLANTA, GRANT PARK Retail & EDGEWOOD MIDTOWN MARY’S

amsterdamatlanta.com

1287 Glenwood Ave SE

Bars & Clubs AMSTERDAM

502 Amsterdam Ave. NE

ATLANTA EAGLE

marysatlanta.com

SISTER LOUISA’S CHURCH

BARKING LEATHER AFTER DARK barkingleather.com

306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

sisterlouisaschurch.com

CHESHIRE

SWINGING RICHARDS

SOUTHERN NIGHTS VIDEO

1400 Northside Dr NW

ANSLEY

BULLDOGS

Dining

BOY NEXT DOOR MENSWEAR

FRIENDS NEIGHBORHOOD BAR

MIDTOWN

1447 Piedmont Ave NE

736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

10thandpiedmont.com

atlantaeagle.com

306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

BLAKE’S ON THE PARK

blakesontheparkatlanta.com 227 10th St NE

893 Peachtree St NE

friendsonponce-atl.com

466 Edgewood Ave SE

swingingrichards.com

10TH & PIEDMONT

MY SISTER’S ROOM

991 Piedmont Ave NE

66 12th St NE

einsteinsatlanta.com

mysistersroom.com

TEN ATLANTA

tenatlanta.com

990 Piedmont Ave NE

THE T

modeltatlanta.com

EINSTEIN’S

1077 Juniper St NE

GCB & PLEASURES

brushstrokesatlanta.com 1510 Piedmont Ave. NE

BARKING LEATHER barkingleather.com

1510 Piedmont Ave Suite A

Fitness

931 Monroe Dr

MIDTOWN

frogsmidtown.com

G’S

CHESHIRE

219 10th St NE

gsmidtown.com

HERETIC

HENRY’S

2069 Cheshire Bridge Road

132 10th St NE

henrysatl.com

BJ ROOSTERS

JOE’S ON JUNIPER

2043 Cheshire Bridge Road NE

1049 Juniper St NE

bjroosters.com

boynextdoormenswear.com

FROGS CANTINA

465 Boulevard SE

hereticatlanta.com

2205 Cheshire Bridge Rd NE

joesonjuniper.com

URBAN BODY FITNESS urbanbodyfitness.com

500 Amsterdam Ave NE

CHESHIRE GRAVITEE FITNESS graviteeatl.com

2201 Faulkner Rd NE

SEQUEL

LA HACIENDA

Spas/Baths/Adult

TRIPPS

900 Monroe Dr NE

MIDTOWN

CHESHIRE

FLEX SPA

LAS MARGARITAS

76 4th St NW

1086 Alco St NE 1931 Piedmont Circle N

WOOFS

woofsatlanta.com

2425 Piedmont Road NE

lahaciendamidtown.com

lasmargaritasmidtown.com

flexspas.com

1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd NE

ANSLEY

CHESHIRE

ROXX

MIDTOWN MOON

MANIFEST 4U

1824 Cheshire Bridge Rd NE

1492 Piedmont Ave NE

FELIX’S

1510 Piedmont Ave NE

THE HIDEAWAY 1544 Piedmont Ave NE

MIXX

mixxatlanta.com

1492 Piedmont Ave NE

OSCAR’S

oscarsatlanta.com

1510 Piedmont Ave NE

38 | 11.20.19

DEKALB

LIPS ATLANTA

atldragshow.com

3011 Buford Hwy NE

manifest4u.org

2103 Faulkner Rd NE

THE DEN

thedenatlanta.com

2135 Liddell Drive NE

LUXURY LGBT ALMAR RESORT TIMESHARE PLUS BONUS FOR SALE BEACH FRONT BEAUTIFUL BEACH HOTEL & FOOD CONTACT leonrri@hotmail.com

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10 THING YOU SHOULD BE THANKFUL FOR All the food

… and drinks

Family – chosen or related Money in the bank Welldeserved time off work

Access to Internet and information

Freedom of speech and right to vote

40 | 11.20.19

Friends new and old

Having a pet in your life

Your health

WE'RE HIRING WE ARE SEEKING Motivated, Hard-Working, Innovative People to be Our Next Superstar Ad Sales Representatives.

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Him: Do you know this guy?

Text your Peach Pits to 540-30-PEACH, or e-mail mikkel@PeachATL.com

Me: Why?

Getting older os just one body part after another saying ‘ha ha, you think that’s bad?

Watch this!’

Him: He’s gay and lives in your town

Being gay is resisting the urge to say ‘guuuuurrrrrllll’ when your coworker messes up

Me: Just because he’s gay doesn’t mean I automatically know him. It’s not a club!

Him: *shows picture*

Me: Ooooooh, that bitch …

Understand paranoid people better by following them around

Asking for a Friend If someone refuses to nap are they resisting a rest?

Now that 2019 is almost over, all I gotta say is what the fuck was that?!!

DADDY JOKE ALERT What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign language

42 | 11.20.19

I hate when people say you don’t need alcohol or weed to have fun. You don’t need a fork to eat either, but it helps, bitch.

TAURUS (APR. 20 - MAY 20) This is the type of week you enjoy. The climate is positive and the energy is flowing. It’s as though you have a magic wand (you know you probably do).

You give it a wave and - presto - the day’s tasks and chores are done!

GEMINI (MAY 21 - JUN. 20) If the world collapsed today, you wouldn’t bat an eyelash. You’re perfectly content sailing along on cloud nine! The source of your bliss could be that new person in your life. Are you passionately, intensely, wonderfully in love?

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 - DEC. 21) Are you thinking of going into business for yourself?

Being self-employed doesn’t automatically mean you will have more freedom. Think about it. Base your decision on reality and not fantasy.

CANCER (JUN. 21 - JUL. 22) You may have had some emotional disappointments lately, but this week will restore your faith in love.

All you need to do is take action. You’re more likely to get results from yourself than from other people.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 - JAN. 19)

LEO (JUL. 23 - AUG. 22)

Within the next few days, you’re likely to gain access to dimensions of perception you never suspected.. Investigate what these worlds have to offer. What you learn will help you cope with your sensitivity.

Put on your traveling shoes. Fear of the unknown may have prompted you to postpone certain trips.

You claimed you were too busy, but no one really believed this, not even you. It’s silly to avoid life, go out there and get to it.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 - FEB. 18)

VIRGO (AUG. 23 - SEP. 22)

Often fiery temperaments like yours are drawn to fight for great causes despite the better judgment of more down-to-Earth people. As a result, you have great leadership potential that may emerge this week.

Something is currently compelling you to be more of a world citizen than usual. Comfort yourself with the knowledge that your world is simply changing and expanding. It will stabilize again on another, higher plane.

PISCES (FEB. 19 - MAR. 20) Your optimism is likely to receive a little boost this week. A memorable emotional encounter may be the source of some extra zeal. Or you may derive great satisfaction from being part of a group. The outlook is nothing but positive!

ARIES (MAR. 21 - APR. 19) Perhaps you should suspend your inhibitions for the time being and let your dreams guide you. For instance, you might try asking that guy or girl out that you keep seeing outside the coffee shop. Who knows what might happen?

44 | 11.20.19

LIBRA (SEP. 23 - OCT. 22) Your surroundings are currently changing, Libra. Perhaps your circle of friends has already undergone a major change. You accept whoever comes along. You may not realize it, but your attitude is completely different now than it once was. Good for you!

SCORPIO (OCT. 23 - NOV. 21) You’re demystifying the concept of talent. You used to look enviously at other people and think, “I wish I had a natural ability like that.” It’s a matter of hard work, belief in oneself, and bravery in the face of risk. You can do it, too!

By Mikkel Hyldebrandt Trouble in the love department? With sex? Or just people in general? Send us your queries, questions, and problems, and you’ll get answers served straight up and with a little ice.

I am already stressing over the upcoming holiday season because it involves seeing my boyfriend’s family – and they don’t like me! This is not something that I am being sensitive about or even making up because his dad explicitly told me in a private conversation that they don’t actually approve of him being gay. Instead, they tolerate it so that they won’t lose him. His brother completely avoids me when we’re ‘home,’ and his mom and sister are both avoiding ‘the gay issue’ and pretend like it never happened, less even exists. The worst part is that my boyfriend is completely oblivious to all of this, and he doesn’t even notice all the tension when we are all together. I have tried to voice some of these concerns, and also suggested he go by himself, but he gets very upset. So here we are at the beginning of the damn Holidays – how do I even cope with this situation?

Sincerely Done-in-Law Dear Done-in-Law Obviously, this family as mastering the art of avoiding and suppressing any unpleasantness when they are together – and it seems like your boyfriend is using some of the same techniques when it comes to this issue! How is it possible that he doesn’t notice the tensions that build or even a brother that avoids all contact with you?! And how about the mother that effectively ignores the fact that her son is gay? He has got to feel that! To be perfectly honest, your boyfriend comes off as very self-consumed since he can bring you into this situation where you are completely left out while he is doted on as the prodigal son. But since confronting him doesn’t work, it’s no use telling him that you are not comfortable with the situation – you need to tell him just how appallingly you are being treated behind his back. He will probably get very upset and even defend his family, but it will give you a chance to really make the argument as to why you shouldn’t be there unless things change dramatically. If he continues to defend his family’s damaged dynamics, you will also get the necessary knowledge to change your own relationship dynamics from in a relationship to single.

46 | 11.20.19

After being focused on getting a boyfriend (and not succeeding), I am committed to ‘dating myself’ and just have more ‘meaningful hookups.’ I am enjoying taking some time just to focus on me, but as it turns out, several ‘boyfriend material’ prospects have suddenly appeared, and I am literally biting my lip to try and not date them more seriously. On the one hand, I want to keep learning about myself and enjoy this liberating feeling of not always hunting for a man. On the other, it seems like love is practically standing on my doorstep, just waiting to be invited in. What do I do? A little help, please!

Sincerely Love Confusion Dear Love Confusion First of all, good going on you for taking some time to focus on what is right for you. Too often, we tend to chase a goal, and, in the process, we can forget to take care of ourselves. So kudos on refocusing that energy onto yourself. Secondly: why can’t you do both? It seems that now you are more conscious of what makes YOU happy, you have also attracted guys that you could potentially fall in love with. Call it energy, the universe, the gods, or whatever – what you are doing is obviously giving you the confidence the rely more on yourself. And you know what?

That’s attractive! If you honestly feel that these guys are worth pursuing and it is not a remnant of your previous history of boyfriend-focused dating, then go for it! If you have the slightest doubt that you could be luring yourself into your old ways of a bae-centric dating life, then back off! You are on the path of getting to know yourself even better, so take a moment and listen to what your new and improved being is telling you to do.

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