Paul Kenneth Martino - The Secret to Dealing with Criticism

The Secret to Dealing with Criticism

Introduction ď ˝

Criticism is never fun, whether it's coming from a wellmeaning English teacher or from your arch fernery. If the criticism is meant to be constructive, then you can use it to become a more well-rounded person. And if it's only meant to harm you, then you can work on shaking it off like a bad habit. So how do you deal with it? Read these steps to find out.

Tips to Dealing with Criticism          

Know the difference between destructive and constructive criticism Accept that you're not perfect Work on being less sensitive Understand what you're really being told Make a game plan for addressing it Thank the person for being honest Stop making excuses Understand the person's true motives Remember that words can never hurt you Keep doing what you're doing

Know the difference between destructive and constructive criticism ď ˝

This is the first step to being able to deal with criticism. You have to know where the feedback is coming from and understand the intentions of the person who is giving it to you. If it's a teacher or a superior, then chances are the person only wants you to perform better.

Accept that you're not perfect ď ˝

This is a great way to deal with criticism. If you want to be able to take a little bit of feedback, then you can't keep thinking that you can do no wrong. Nobody's perfect, so if you think you're perfect, then you're nobody. Okay, but seriously: every person has flaws, and if you don't see any of yours, then you're not analyzing yourself as closely as you should.

Work on being less sensitive ď ˝

If you always find yourself crying, getting defensive, and feeling generally upset when someone gives you what was supposed to be helpful feedback, then you have to start thickening your skin. Work on accepting your flaws and being able to hear about some areas where you can improve.

Understand what you're really being told ď ˝

If you want to deal with criticism, then you have to understand the message behind it. If you've determined that the criticism is meant to be constructive, then you have to break it down so you can start figuring out what to do next.

Make a game plan for addressing it ď ˝

Okay, you've decided that your English teacher, boss, boyfriend, or best friend is completely right, or at least somewhat right.

Now, you've got to write down the thing you need to work on, and make a plan for addressing it. This can take a long time, and it's never too late to start.

Stop making excuses ď ˝

If someone is giving you valid criticism, stop making excuses for why that person is completely wrong, especially if you know that there is some truth to what he or she is saying. If you get defensive and make excuses, then the person won't be able to finish telling you exactly what he or she means, and you won't get the information you need to really improve.

Understand the person's true motives ď ˝

If you have recognized the criticism as completely destructive and hurtful, then you can think about why the person might have said such a thing to make yourself feel better. Maybe the girl was jealous of your new outfit and said you dress like a skank. Maybe a guy said you're not a good writer because he's jealous that you just published a story.

Remember that words can never hurt you ď ˝

What was that thing your mother told you about "sticks and stones" not being able to break your bones? Sure, you thought it was stupid in third grade, but now, you're a lot older, and it's starting to make sense.

Keep doing what you're doing ď ˝

Are you going to stop being who you are if it's working for you? Of course not. If you haven't received a valid criticism and know that what people are telling you is only being said because of jealousy, anger, or mean-spiritedness, then there's no need to change your routine to please people.

Who I Am‌ ď ˝

Paul Kenneth Martino is an entrepreneur who provides the help in business development and marketing currently, lives in Victoria, Australia.