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Growing Without Schooling 93
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If getting along with people involves learning to see things from another's perspective, getting along with people of very different ages often pushes this skill to the limit. It's hard for an adult to understand why a small child screarns furiously when a new cup is substituted for his usual one, for example, and it's hard for a young child to understand why her parent calls the wonderful house she's made out of the cushions "that aw{ul mess." But of course adults and children persevere in their efforts to understand each other, since they do in fact get so much of value from being
t I
with each other.
Trevor Killory-Andersen is among those who write for this issue's Focus, "I'll Never Do ThotWhen I Grow Up," pages l9-2L
Inside this lssue: News & Reports p.2-4 Negotiating about Tests, Admission to Air Force Academy, Fublicizing Homeschooling
You Don't Have to Be Rich: Ideas for Homeschooling on a Low Income p. 5
The Journey from School to Homeschooling p. Challenges & Concerns p. 8-12 i
I
I
6-7
Homeschoolers Getting Along, Teased by Friends, Choosing School, When Children Resist Teaching
a
T
Watching Chlldren Learn p.
13-14
Museums Inspire Activities, Older Reader,
Nurturing the Wild
Book Reviews p. FOCUS:
I'll
15-18
Never Do That \[hen
I
Grow Up p.
But What Do Homeschoolers Do? p.
19-21
22-24
lVhen Schedules and Appointments are Usefirl p.25-26
& Recommendations p. 27 Additions to Directory p. 28-29 Resources
Sometimes, though, it's hard for kids to explain themselves right at the time of the misunderstanding. They may not have the words, or the adult may not give them a chance, or they may be so cowed by the adult's size and power that they won't try. That's why it's important to make a special effort to ask kids how things look and feel to them. Many of us adults made vows as children never to do ttwt to kids when we grew up - whatever particular indignity or misunderstanding "thaf' represented at the time. But it's so easy to forget those vows as our perspective, unavoidably, becomes the adult's. For this issue we asked several kids to tell us about those vows they've made to themselves: "When I grow up, I'm going to treat kids like this..." or "I hope I never forget how kids feel when...". Because these writers are young (some of them are only 6), their vows and the feelings that engendered them are still fresh in their minds. It's good for those of us who are farther away from that time of life to be reminded of how things look and feel to children. And then what? What can we do after we are reminded of how kids would like to be treated? One thing that comes through in these letters is that kids are very forgiving if it seems as though the adult is willing to learn and to act more respectfully next time. Many GWS readers already do spend a lot of time thinking about how to treat children, though, and the problem may be that other people, outside the family, are not as thoughtful. What can we do about the fact that respectful treatment of children is not the norm in our
culture? Here John Holt offers some advice: "Paul Goodman, in his many talks with young people, used to say that one good way to work for a truly different and better world was to act in their daily lives, as far as they could, as if that world existed. What would you do, he would ask them, if the world had become more or less the kind of place you want it to be; how would you live, how would you treat other people? Live that way now, treat them that way now. If somettring prevents you, t4r to find a way to deal with that. We can begin to treat children, even the youngest and smallest, wherever we may find them, as we would want everyone to treat ttrem in the society we are trying to make." Susannah Sheffer
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2
Office News & Announcements
News & Reports
[SS:l We're now in the middle of a very busy conference season, and we've also been getting some interesting publicity. NBC TV news aired a feature story on May I lth which focused on families who have older kids and who are not homeschooling for religious reasons. Women's World also plans to run a story - it may be in their
Negotiating About Tests
June issue. Speaking of publicity, some letters in this issue give good suggestions for things to do besides talk to reporters. kt us know if you've had any success using our clip-out form on page 31 - we'd like to know if this leads to anlthing interesting and if it's
worth our continuing to include it. Judith Allee, who writes in this issue about ideas for homeschooling with very little money, suggests ttrat we ask to hear from readers who run family businesses or earn money from home in some other way. We've always been interested in this and in all stories about how families arrange things so that they can homeschool, whether that means working at home, taking kids to work, involving others, or some other set-up. For example, it would be interesting to hear about ways in which kids are able to be by themselves, at home or in a safe public space, for certain periods of time. What do you do to make this easier? What kind of preparation do you give the child? Are other people accommodating, or resistant to this idea? Dawn kase, on our staff, has just begun to allow her lO-year-old son to spend a few hours by him-self at museums, and this has worked very well in terms of his ability to remain interested and content for that time. One of the museums is being difficult about permitting this, but the other is agreeable. Please do keep writing about your family's arrangements, so that others, especially people who are considering homeschool-ing, can learn about what's possible. Over the years we have periodically gotten letters like this one from Rachel Compton: "I have now written to three different pen-pals listed in GWS and none have written back. If children put their names on the pen-pal list they should at least write back saying they would not like to be a particular person's pen-pal. I find it annoying to spend so much time writing to someone and not get a response. I think parents should encourage their children to at least write to say that they would not like to be this person's pen-pal. Even better, parents should encourage them to get involved in the letter writing, and then
they might like it." We know ttrat many of good pen-pal relatonships grow out of our listings, but the problem ofunresponsive pen-pals does persist for some kids, too. Maybe those who list themselves get swamped by replies, or maybe not everyone thinks through what is involved in being listed. We print Rachel's letter just as a reminder. I
Pamila Daniel ("Woried About Test," GWS #91) writes:
I thought I should let you know how our situation is progressing. Ifyou recall,
my son was supposed to take the standardized tests this year even though he cannot read well enough to understand them. I called t}le local school board. They said they had no authority to change anything, but they gave me the number of a woman at the state Department of Education. She politely tried to talk me into letting my son take the tests, so I could see where he needed improvement. I just as politely refused. Finally, she said she would move him back to the first grade level so he wouldn't have to take the tests this year. Then he could restart the second grade next fall, and take the tests in the spring of '94. I have a year now to weigh my opuons. IVe written to Clonlara: I've heard that they test their students and report to the school boards for them. I may just move to another state. Either way, it's a big decision, and I'm grateful I have GWS and its readers to advise me.
AndJrom the New York State Home Education News, published bg the Alliance Jor Parental Inuolvement in Educdtian: New York State's home education reg-
ulation requires an annual assessment of all children of compulsory school age who are learning at home. Under the current regulation, parents may choose to use a standardized, norm-referenced achievemeirt test each year. As an altemative, parents may opt to use a written naffative in gpades one through three and in alternate years in grades 4 through 8. From ninth grade on, standardized achievement testing must be done each year. Since the promulgation of [this section of the regulationl in 1988, the assessment reqtrirement has been the
most controversial part of the requirement. Soon after the regulation was adopted, home educators from around the state participated in a series of meetings with former Deputy Commissioner for Elementar5r and Secondary Education Skip Meno. At those meetings, a framework was developed which, among other revisions, would have added to the list of possible altemative assessments and would have allowed for the use of such alternatives at every grade level. Deputy Commissioner Meno was unable to move the proposed changes through the State Education Department, at least in part because the New York State School Boards Association was unwilling to go along with the changes. Following a series of meetings between home educators
from around the state and their local Regents, a recommendation was made for the establishment of a home instruction advisory group. At the meetings of that group over tJle past two years, the issue of assessment reform has been a steady theme. Because ofthe presence ofschool
board and superintendent representatives in the group, itwas hoped that an agreement could be reached on the use of assessments which are appropriate to the approach a family takes to learning. Those efforts have been unsuccessful. It is now time to consider the next step home educators wish to take with respect to tJle issue of assessment. ... As a starting point for discussion, we have drafted an amendment which would revise the current assessment provisions more or less as proposed in the earlier discussions
with Dr. Meno. Tte proposed amendment sags tlnt os an aLternatfue to testing, parents maA choose one oJ the Jollou;ing: (a) a portJotio oJ tte shtdent's uork: h) a project or demonstrationbg ttre shtdent; (c) aninteruiew oJ the student: (d) an on-site uisit; (e) au;rttten narratiDe: or (fl other methods approuedby
tte
State
EdttotionDeparhenL The
proposal also discusses metlnds Jor reuieu.sing the assessment that the parent has chosen.
Admission to Academy
Air Force
C$Cohen(CO) urites: I wrote previously (GWS #81) of our son Jeffs ambition to attend the US Air Force Academy. Immediately prior to Jeffs ninth grade year, we queried the Academy about the consideration he would receive if he continued to homeschool througfr higfr school. At that time, they replied that they had admitted 2-4 homeschoolers annually for the past
several years. We decided, with some trepi-
dation on our part, but total conlldence on Jeffs part, to continue homeschooling. Jeffhas spent the past year (which would have been his junior year in school) going through the USAF Academy application process. He also applied to West Point, the US Naval Academy, Boston University, and Universitlr of Colorado at Boulder, as well as to the Air Force, Army, and Naval ROTC programs. Within the past month Jeff was accepted at both BU and CU. He also was awarded various three- and four-year ROTC scholarships. Finally, yesterday, Jeff got his dream shot - acceptance to the US Air Force Academy. Parents often wonder if home education will hamper ttreir child's chances to attend top colleges or any colleges. In our
Growing Without Schooling #93
3 son's case, if anything, home education enhanced his chances to be admitted to selective institutions. Why? Time. Homeschoolers have time, time to pursue their own goals, time to interact with the real world. time to watch the clouds roll by. All are equally important for those apprentice adults we call teens. How did Jeff spend his time? He occupied himself with a variety of pursuits, all of which I or he found ways to call "school." His activities ranged from folding origami animals and paper airplanes to poring over ?.l.e Guiness Book oJ World Records to Iiddling with our computers to advancing up the ranks of Civil Air Patrol. He eventually earned an FCC Advanced Class Amateur Radio License, a diploma from American School, many Civil Air Patrol awards, and miscellaneous awards for piano performance and diving. He should complete his private pilot license next montlL. Real world contacts? There have been plenty: through paying jobs (giving piano lessons, babysitting, house sitting), volunteer jobs (hospital and Military Affiliate Radio System), the extended family, church groups, diving team, neighbors, friends, and family. These last couple of years, Jeff has been gone from the house more than he would be if he attended school. Watching the clouds roll by has probably been the most important component of Jeffs homeschooling. He spent days doing seemingly nothing - rereading books, playing with our dogs, baking, biking, playrng board games. I'm con',rinced he never could have accomplished all that he has (high school plus 25 college credits in three years, not to mention activities in which he excelled) without being able to determine his own "down time." What was our fthe parents') role in all this? First we had to get out of the way. We've found that Jeff and his sister will only stare at the four walls for so long. Sooner or later, they'll opt to Do Something. When they choose to Do Something, we become facilitators: help find resources, chauffeur, write checks or propose a method to pay for a desired activity, listen, discuss, etc. Finally, presenting a model of self-directed learning (i.e. pursuing our own activities) has been invaluable. The kids may or may not share our interests, but they seem to know without being told that each person is responsible for his own learning, his own entertainment, his own life.
Publicizing Homeschooling Press Releases Sandra Maida
oJ N eus H amp
shre
t,rites: I
just received my first issue of GWS
(#9I) and I very much liked Susannah's front-page article concerning speaking out about homeschooling. It's just not enough that a few of us are homeschooling our Grorving Without Schooling #93
children - our children still have to grow up and live in a society of publicly schooled children - angry and, possibly, violent people of the future. People who learn to cheat to suruive. People who cannot function or direct their own lives. I see it in my own affluent neighborhood - angry, violent liftle people. I believe it is a by-product of public schools. One week after the start of school last September, I witnessed a marked change in the 6-9 year olds. One mother said to me, "I just
don't understand why she's throwing rocks at everyone all of a sudden." I replied, "She's only 6, and didn't you tell me that the first week on the bus the older kids knocked her down and took her things? I would be angry too. If you sent me back to public school, I would want to throw rocks at everyone too." When I started thinking about homeschooling just one year ago, it was [initially) very diflicult to obtain information. There was only one book on the subject at my public library. We started our support group to make it easier for families to obtain information. We send press releases to four local newspapers announcing our monthly meetings. That's how they found me to do stories on homeschooling and our support group. When reporters started calling me, I almost refused an interview. I was afraid of the publicity, afraid of calling attention to what I am doing, especially since I'm new at this. Each of the three reporters I spoke with wrote their own version. (ln addition to lengthy interviews, I gave them something in writing from me - just an overview of why, how, and what we do.) I think they all did an excellentjob and I wrote their editors to say they did. We must let others know this is a viable alternative. People need to know that lots of "average" moms and dads and extended families, and single parents, are happily, wondoing this - successfully, derfully! Maybe then others will dream dream that they, too, can do it.
Library Event Christa Grqjcar oJ Neut Jerseg u:rites:
It is frustrating wanting so much to inform the public about homeschooling but finding that reporters chop, tailor, and twist our comments until finally we find we have not been accurately represented.
By hosting meetings in the local library and inviting the public to learn about homeschooling, I have found a way to eliminate the *middle man" and speak directly to the people. This has been very satisrying and successful. I advertised with simple posters in all the local libraries and other places where moms with young children can be found (clothing shops, YMCA, supermarket). The posters read, "What is homeschooling? Atl parents are invited to hear a panel offour mothers discuss homeschooling, and to lrave gour questions answered." Date, time, and place. In smaller print: "Who teaches their children at home? Why and how do we do it? Is homeschooling the
right choice for your family?" We also had press releases printed in local newspapers inviting all parents "who are searching for the best in education for their children" to join us at such and such date, time, and place. Before the meeting I chose four well-
spoken and experienced mothers with different methods of homeschooling. I prepared some typical questions for them, to kick offthe question and answer period. I also made copies of the 'General Information Packet" our support group mails out to inquirers (it includes a reading list, analysis of our state law, information on what our support group offers, etc.) as well as a response form to hand to the guests as they arrived. My husband arrived an hour early to set up chairs and tables. One table displayed our favorite books, literature, and teaching materials for browsing. I was a little afraid that my ads would attract school officials and public school oflicials who would come 'disguised" as concerned parents and ask really hard questions to make us all look stupid. Nothing could have been further from the truth. The parents who came were really searching. Some had never heard of homeschooling; others were seriously considering it. They listened intently as our panelists presented their wonderful worlds of homeschooling (l was so proud of them!). Wtren the question and answer time came I did not even need to take out my preplanned questions because the audience had plenty of their own. The discussion was friendly, fast-paced, and meaty. I could see lights going on in heads as audience members came to understand homeschooling. At the end of the evening, I asked the
audience to take a few moments to Iill in the response forms and hand them in before leaving. Otherwise they could mail them in later, to my address which was on the form. This time to linger turned out to be a very good idea because members of the audience sought out the particular panelists with whom they related best, and deeper discussions arose all around the
room. According to their response forms, the guests felt the meeting was very informative, enlightening, and helpful. The only negative comment was that it was too short! (The library did give us an early curfew.) Some of the guests have since begun homeschooling! For others, it is a
real possibility. We are excited about repeating
this
presentation in other local libraries in the crortr'ingWithout Schooling #93, Vol. 16, No. 2. ISSN #0475-5305. Published bi-monthly by Holt Associates, 2269 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge MA O2l4O. $25/W. Date of issue: June I, 1993. Second-class postage paid at
Boston, MA and at addiuonal mailing offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to GWS,
2269 MassAve, Cambridge MAO2f4O. ADVERTISERS: Deadlines are the lsth of oddnumbered months. Write for rates.
4 future. It was really simple to carrSr out and did not cost anything. The local library was very happy to host us. flVe may try to Iind a place that will let us stay later.) With this format we are able to present homeschooling without the fear that our words will be altered by reporters, and being met in person goes a long way toward being accepted and understood.
Writing to
Newspapers
Jeanne Ferrari-Amrrc
oJ
Hantati usrites:
Regarding publicity for homeschool-
ing, I too think it's important to let the public know about home education, to erase stereot54res, and to let people know of
an alternative that works. There is so much hype in the media, especially in the local newspapers, about the wonderful things that both public and private schools are doing; I think it's important that the public knows how wonderful home education is. I agree with Mali Sastri in GWS #91 that many people know nothing of homeschooling and publicity is a way of letting them know there is such a
thing. About leaving a lasting impression on someone's future decisions, you never know what influence you'll have, even if you just plant the seed in one person. That's how I came into home education. We lived near a family who were doing home education when mV children were
babies. At the time I didn't seriously think we'd be following their path! Feeling as I do about this issue, I wrote a brief op-ed piece for a local newspaper, presenting home education as
an alternative to both public and private education, presenting brief statements about socialization and where to find resources. I was told that the editor may do a story on us, so we'll see what happens. The clerk who received the article mentioned that her neighbor homeschooled for a while, and was positive about it and very nice to my children. Publicity also helps the public see you as real people, so they're not so quick to judge. Publicity can happen on a small scale, too, in what I call the chance encounter. This is when a store clerk or librarian or anybody asks why the children aren't in school or "What school do you go to?" People IVe encountered are open to the idea of home education - they're able to see the children as normal, so in these small chance encounters, publicity occurs.
Calendar June 26. 1993: American Library Association conference in New Orleans, LA. Pat Farenga will be speaking. For info: Susan Scheps, 2 16-99 | -2421. August 20-22: The Alliance for Parental Involvement in Education
(AllPIE) conference at Deer Hill Conference Center, Wappingers Falls, NY. Sessions on public, private, and home education, pa-renting, educational options, involvement. and enrichment: children's activities. For info: AllPIE, PO Box 59, E Chatham NY I 2060: 5 18-392-6900. August 28-29: Homeschool Association of California conference at the Radisson Hotel in Sacramento. Talks by David Guterson, Thomas Armstrong, the Colfaxes, and several workshops; also, teen conference. For info: Barbara David, 916-392-8950. August 28: Minnesota Homeschoolers' Alliance 2nd annual conference at the University of St. Thomas in St. Paul. For info: MHA, PO Box 23072, Richfield MN
55423:612-49r-2824. We are happy to print announcements of major homeschooling events, but we need plenty of notice. Deadline for GWS #94 (events in September or later) is July lOth. Deadline for GWS #95 (events in November or later) is September IOth.
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You Don't Have to Be Rich... Ideas for Homeschooling on a Low Income
Flom a longer letter that Judtth Allee (OH) sent to Lourdes Rtuas ("Lotts Income Famtlg Needs ldeas," GWS #92):
I read your letter with great interest, since we also homeschool on a low income. My husband John is a freelance photographer and our taxable income has been under $f O,0O0 a year for manyyears some years way under. That's a little misleading, since by having a home business we can deduct part ofour heat, car expenses, and other utilities that would be considered income if he had an outside job. Still, I know whereofyou speak! My first thought as I read your letter is that you are making things too hard on yourself. Our daughter Nancy (12) has neverbeen to school, but this is the first year we have ever bought a textbook. [!Ve
bought a math text and a Spanish program this year.) All your boys need is great children's literature for you to read aloud to them, and there's plenty of that available free at the public library. My advice is to be very careful and selective about using any curriculum that is sent to you as a result of your letter. If it's boring or tedious, please don't impose it on your
children, even though it's free. For social studies and science you can read aloud biographies of famous people in the field of interest. (Some biographies are poorly written, so be selective.) A tip I got from another homeschooler is to read more than one biography about the same person. Ifs a real eye-opener, and you all get an education in not believing everything you read, since there's so much conflicting information. Your librarian can also recommend historical {iction with adults or children as the main characters. Have you learned to use the interlibrary loan system through your public library? I was amazed at all that is available. Through inter-library loan you can get almost any book you want, whether your library has it or not. ... I haven't been able to get my library to purchase GWS, but I'm planning to try again this year. ... I hope you'll attend some of $our local support group'sl meetings and field trips. The support group here is letting me pay my dues $5 at a time - it doesn't hurt to ask. I think you're much better off spending money on dues and getting the support you need and meeting kids your children can connect with than you would be spending money on curricula and supplies. By the way, you can get free scrap
Growing Without Schooling #93
paper ifyou ask around at printing companies and offices. You won't care if there's printing on one side, and you might luck into a variety of wonderful colored papers. Also, ask for outdated wallpaper sample books at the stores. They're lots of fun to cut up and make things with. ... Here are some of the things Nancy's
Homeschooling is well worth some sacrifice, but I can't honestly say that I feel as if we have sacrificed very much. We're pretty rich in the stuf
f that matters.
gotten involved with through homeschooling: She's a volunteer through the YWCA as a "Smilemaker," a program in which the volunteer calls an elderly shut-in every day for companionship and as a check to make sure they're OK. She's their first child volunteer. Once Nancy notified the Y that Mr. Riley didn't answer the phone. They sent the police, who found him unconscious and got him to the
hospital. Now she's training Mr. Riley's
rambunctious dog as a 4-H project. She also used to read aloud once a week to a
blind man in a nursing home until he moved to a different county. Because Nancy was interested in collecting rocks, we joined the local rock and mineral society. Dues are $8 a year for the whole family, which includes a great monthly newsletter. We've gone on field trips and have access to experts to identiff the rocks and fossils she finds. She says she is interested in becoming a paleontologist, and has read tons ofbooks on the
subject. We organized a children's music recital every other month at a nursing home, which gave the kids a renewed interest in practicing and which the
residents greatly enjoyed. (This was an idea from GWS.) Nancy is learning about professional clowning and has attended workshops and gotten to know some professional clowns. She's also studying to become a performing magician.
We
just applied for a scholarship to a
children's archaeologr camp sponsored by the YMCA in Cincinnati. I don't know yet if she'Il get in, but this camp has kids from all over the world attending. We've visited about twelve homeschooling families in other states through the GWS host directory - a wonderful way to meet lovely people and see other places
without the cost of motels. I'm on the mailing list (no charge) for a local university which sponsors speakers and events which are often free and open to the public. We saw Halley's comet at the observatory, met a worldfamous oceanographer, met Martin Luther King's daughter Yolanda, saw a slide show on cave exploring, and have attended a monthly "Civil War Roundtable" group. Homeschooling is well worth some sacrifice, but I can't honestly say that I feel as if we have sacrificed very much. We're pretty rich in the stuff that matters. Also, although we are low-income in a provincial sense, we certainly are not on a worldwide basis. fWe've seen poverty in Mexico, and we're not living in it, believe me.) I hope homeschooling will be as fun and rewarding for you and your family as it has been for us. My husband and I are leaming all the time, and it's a real joy to have a child for whom leaming is fun and exciting. We certainly can't take any credit for her inborn abilities, since Nancy was adopted at age 3 | /2 frorn Mexico. It is a great blessing, though, to watch her blossoming into a terrific, confident young lady. From George Neusman oJ Colorado: When we lived in Bakersfield,
Califomia, I used to frequent the local college library. This school had an undergraduate program for teachers, and therefore the library had many curriculum items that could be checked out. I am not familiar with San Antonio, but you might check out this resource. Here in Colorado, any citizen can get a library card at the college library. Even if they want to charge you, see ifyou can talk to the head librarian and explain your situation and see what assistance he or she can give. The librarians here have been
very helpful. Here in Colorado, the state homeschooling association gets many books and other curriculum items for review. (conttnued on page 28)