Issuu

Growing Without Schooling 84

$4.50

I' .ii

$ Chrls Mdkc ts among thooc who Toward a Goal."

*rttc

for thls lssuc's Focrrs,

Inside this Issue News & Reports p.2-4 Homeschooltng tn lreland, Supportlve Superlntendent

Slngte-Parent Eoneschoolers p. 5-6 Challenges & Concerns p. Z-9 When Young People Leave Home, Mother's Work Helps Klds Meet People, Respecttng

Hvacy, LMng With Llttle Ones

Ilomeschoolers ln College p. l0-lr Watchlng Chlldren Learn p. I l-13 Iâ‚Źarntng Together, Tlustlng "Dreamtng Stages, Outdoor Apprenttceshtp, Ietter Reversals, Computer Games FOCUS: Worklng Toward a Goal p.

t4-t7

Llberattng Teenagere: Intervlew wtth Grace Llewell5rn p. l8-2o Resources & Recommendatlons p. zo

Book Revlews p.2t-24 1992 Dlreetory of Fa'nllles & Organlzatlons p. 25-38

In the "Common ObJectlons to Homeschoollng- chapter of TeachYqtr Own" John Holt lncludes a serles of challengfng questlons that a mother once asked hlm, and hls answers. One questlon ls, "\illll [homeschooled chtldrenl have the opportuntty to ovelcome or do thlngs that they thlnk they don't want to do?'In hls reply, John says, 'If the questlon meâ‚Źrnsl, wlll unschooled chlldren knowwhat lt ls to have to do dlftcult and demandrng thhgs tn order to reach goals they have set for themselves, I would s:ryyes, llfe ls frrll of such requlrements. But thls ls not at all the same thlng as dolng somettrlng, and tn the case of schml usuall5r somethlng stupld and borlng, slrnply because someone else tells you pu'll be punlshed tfyou dont." So many of our soclet5/s notlons about the nature of work and of chlldren, are wrapped up ln that mother's questlon that It's no wonder we contlnue to hear the same concern ln one form or another from people who ask about homeschoollng. School tdes to lmpress upon chlldren the value of dotng what theydon't want to do, but lt nerrcr sleerxr to dl,sttngulsh between the demands of the task ttself and the arbltrary demands of another person, or between goals that cttlldren have set for themselves and goals that someone else has set for them. School doesn't operate as though these dlstlncUons are tmportant, but they are. For thts lssue's Focus, we asked several young GWS readers to wrlte about worklng to meet goals that they have set for themselves, and to tell us about dlftcult or unpleasant tasks that they may have to do as part of achtevtng those goals. Thefr letters show that, tJgfintttw chrrnc, cttlldren can respond to the demands of the work ltself, and notJust to the threat of punlshment or hope of reward. -The pronunclatlon ls dlfrcult,'Apdl Johnson wrltes about learnlng Spanlsh. But because she really wants to learn the language, she keeps pracUctng. 'All of the work ls worth lt," concludes Gtnny Hood after descrlbtng what goes lnto audtttonlng for theatrtcal roles and rehearstng the plays. Her brother Sam wrltes, aboutJolntng a swlm team that turned out to be more difrcult than he had ecpected, 'Although lt would have been eaqr to qutt, I declded not to." Why nof? Because Sam ls determlned to become a llfeguard, and he ls wllltng to do what that task demands of hlm. He doesnt need someone else to prerrent hlm ftom qultflng: ttts own deslre to achleve hts goal does that. After descdbtng how hard she had to work to learn to slght read muslc, KIm Kopel concludes, 'I do thlngs that are dlfrcull or that I really don't lllre, for the sarne reason I do anythlng else: because IVe declded they're lmportant.' If only schools could understand thlst Young people are capable of decldlng what ls tmportant or neceesarlr, and crce tltq ttalue decldd" they are capable of worklng much harder than we tmagtne. Schmls, after falltng to glve chlldren the chancc to declde what ts tmportant to them and to understand the relattonshtp between thelr chosen goal and spectllc tasks. then conclude that chlldren arelazy, no good, unmotlrrated. Llsten to the young people ln thls lssue and you'll see that thls assumpilon couldn't be more unong. Susannah Shefrer

L-

& Reports

Office News

News

[SS:l Asurc go to press, Pat Farenga ls preparlng to speak at Camegle Hall ln Nes' York Clty, as part of the e'vent organlzed by John Taylor Gatto (sev€ral others wtll be spealdng as rell). Well glve you a report ln the next lssue ofG\[S. Shart Hen5r (MN) wrttes, 'Had to let you lorowJust how much I'm enJoylng A HJe Worth IJufg, flnally ln from my llbrary. We're putflng a note about lt ln our state newsletter to urge others to check tt out. I'm flndlnS tt to be one of those llfechangers ofa book. In one letterJohn Holt remarks about a book'spealdng to hfs condtdon,' and ln so nrany ulays I feel that way about A l$e Wofth Ltulng.' Shart frequently lets us know that she has persuaded her libnry to order a smallpress book about horneschooling or by John Holt, and ure hope her efforts wtll trsplre others to do the sarne. Now and tlren urc hear a comrnent that goes somethlqg llke tlrts: 'I lorrc GWS; I borrow my frtend's lssues all the flrne' or "My frtends are always borrowlng my lssues.' Such comments put us ln a blt of a blnd. We believe ln sharlng tnformatlon, and we certalnbr urant lnterested people to

Homeschooling

& Arrnouncements

be able to read GWS. So

ln that sens€. vre're

happy to hear about people borrowtng or lendtrlg thetr lssues. On the other hand, our Ilnanclal sltuaflon brcee us to be anrare,

contlnually, of howmuch nx)ne securewe would be lf all those people who borrow lssues uiould take out tlrelrown subscrlptlons lnstead. the comrnents urc hear suggest that often, people stmply forget tbat wery patd subscrtpdon really does make a dllTerence to us, and that tfyou nrant us to be able to contlnue to publtsh the magazlne throughout the comlng years, encouraglqg people to take out thelr own

subscrlpdons ls tmportant. That's why we'rc taklng sonre spaoe now to remfied you of the sltuatton. Obvtous$ you can't (and wouldn t want to) stop lendtng out tssues enttnely. But perhaps tf you keep h mnrd that subscrlpflons really do afrect our abtlty to condnue our urork, you wtll be able to encouragp others to eubecrtbe when It seerrs approprtate to do so. And dont forget our nenr olfer: people who brtng lrt new subscrlb€rs recefirc a $5 sedttwtth us (see GWS #82 for a complete deecrlpdon of thts ofrer, or look at tlre 'subscrlpdons and Renenrals' lnformatlon on page 39 of

thls lssue). GWS #85, our next tssue, wlll have our

complete ltsts of cerHlled teachers, helpful lawyers, and so on. It occurs to me that there are nrany rnorle cooperatlrrc school dlstrlcts out there than we hanrc on our 'Frlendly School Dtstrtcts' ltst. We ha\rc had storles tn the rnagazlne about rryonderful relaflonstrlps betwEen homeschoolers and school ofrctals, for orample, but those dtstrtcts don't appear on our llst" If you llve ln a dlstrlct that ls coopcratlrrc and ftendly tourards horrschoolers, please send us the tnformatlon (name and address of dtstrlct, nane of contaet p€rson lf avatlable) rlght away (we wlll be laSdng out the next lssue ahortly after you recelrrc ttrls one). Make sure tlat the school dtstrtct agr€es to belng lfsted,

in Ireland

Mary Delnuge Slr,elran fircland) r.orites.'

Irlsh homeschoolers harrc Just produced thelr llrst newsletter, &Bholle (at home), whlch we hope wtll untte and streng;then the homeschoollng nrcnement here. Now thatwe are starflng to organlze a horneschooltng group, the full ortent of homeschooling is becomlng apparent and It is clear that lt has been gotng on qulet$ and successfulbr for rnany years. Recently, sonre famllies dectded to see tf there rras any lnterest tn starHng a group, and they put together a newsletter whlch was sent out to about slxty famtltes that were known to be tnterested tn the subJect. One of the maln reasons for puttlng out the newsletter nras concern over posslble changes tn the educadon laws tbat could alTect parents'rlghts to educate thelr

chlldren at home. In lreland, the legal sltuatlon dlffers from that |r the U.S. and Brttatn tn that the Irlsh Consdtuflon r€cognlzee that the famtly ls the rnaln educator of the chlld: Ardcle 42-L: -Ilrc state acknowledges that the prlnary and nahrral educator of the ctrlld fs the famlly and guarantees to respect the lnaltenable rtght and dut5r of parents to provtde, accordlng to their means, for the rellgfous and rnoral, tntellechral, phystcal and soclal educatlon of thetr chtldren.' Arttcle 42-2: 'Parents shall be free to provtde thle educatlon ln thelr own homes or in prlvate schools or ln schools recognlzed or estab[shed by the state.' At the moment there ls no &lucatlon Act as such, although there are a number of acts wtrlch deal wtth the dlfferent areas of educaflon (e.g. VocaUonal Schools Act, Unlverslfles Act). The tnost r€levant act for homeschoolers ts the 1926 School Attendance Act wtrlch cttea varlous reasons why a ctrlld rnay be excused attendancr from school. As urcll as slckness, etc,, lt states tlnt a chtld may be excus€d fr,om school |f

'the ctrlld ts recetvtng sultable elernentary educadon ln some n rner other than by attendlng a naflonal or other suttable school.' Of course'suttable elementar5r educatlon'tsn't deflned and ls open to lnterpretaflon. Responstblllty for enforclng thls Act lles wtth the local School Attendance OIIIcrr or pollce. At present lt seems that most flarnllleg recetve llttle

interference from the authorldes once they

are pracflclrg homescholtng; although a fenr have had problems.

Thts ts the legal sltuaflon as lt stands, but lt may change ln the near fuhrre as the Mlnlster for Educatlon, Mary ORourke, has stated her lntendon to brlng In an EducadonAct sorrr UrE tn 1992-93. Debate on the lssue has already started and ts belng followed wlth tnterest by the

homeschoollng famllles. Sorne famtltes are afratd that the new Act may affect the rights of parents to educatc thetr chlldren at horrr, espectally as sorne of the teachers'

unlons (whose members have hgh levels of unemployrnent) harc dectded that they urculd ltke to dghten thlngs up abtt. Howeru, any nrove to lessen the rlghts of parents u/ould be unconstltutional at the rnornent, and an arficle ofthe Consfltuflon can only be changed by a nattonal referendum. It seems unllkely that parents would vote to have thetr rtghts reduced, but prerrlous referendums on other matters have proved unpredtctable. The sltuatlon is belng nrcnltored by homeschoollng farntltes, who are conslderlng rnaldng a submlaslon to the Mlntster,

outllnlng thelr vlerrs. Ttre proposed &lucadon Act and tts posslble repercusslons nlas one of the toplcs dlecuesed at the flrst ollct"l g.ttogether of lrtsh hornegchoolers thatwas hdd recently tn Co. Clare. Seventeen farrriltee from all over Ireland attended durlng the urcekend - the flrst tlme of rneeilng for many of us, although some vrcre old frlends, Comnon factors seemed to be a relaxed atflhrde about chtldrearlng wtth an emphasts on ctrlld-ccntered learnlng combtned wtth an lnterest tn natural ctrlldblrth, breastfeedtng, etc. It uras an enJoyable tlnre of meettng and sharlng experlerrces and tdeas. Now that contact has been made and frlendstrlps started, hopefully mor€ lFt-togethers wlll follow. Although lt ie not legally enforced, attendance at school s€erns to be pretty much autornadc for nnst chlldren. The reacfion of school-gotng cldldren to horneschooled chlldren usuall5r seems to be, 'Luclry Udngl'and the r€acflon from adulte ls slmilar - 'Good tdea.' My son Patrlcl( ts onlyJust 2, yet tt amazes me honr already so many people refer to trts schooltng. 'He'll be at school before you lorow lt' or 'Ie he tn preechool yet?' For the ttnr betng we have no lntentlon of sendtrg trlm to etther, bellevlng that the usual echool entry age (4 l/2) ls tu young and dso that gelf-dlrected learnlng ls better, Werve not been'teachtng' Patlck anythlng tn the formal sense of tlre word, Just tr;dng to ensure that he has an tnteresdng eawtronrrEnt and plenty of ttnc and space to oqplore lt tn tds ouln uray. He lorres urorHng tn the garden, dtggtng, weedlng, and looktr4 under stones for tnsects. He also ltkes cooklng and has recently mastered the art of cracldng an

lnto a bowl rather than all over his trouSera. We llrrc on a street full of ctrtldren, eo sociallzatlon lsn't a unrry - ln fact, nerrcr havlng any peace ls the btgger problernl egg

Patrlck'g beet frtend ts a 7-year-old glrl who ltvee nearby. She geefts to be popular xdth hlm becaus€ she nelther rrothers hlrn filke some of the o0rer glrls do] nor npnopollzes hts toya (ltke somc of the younger clrlldren do) but treatg htm hke an equal. They play very happlly together, relnforcfng my theory that chlldren can often IInd

what's rrght for them lf left to tt. IVe reallzed that lt rpould probably nwer have occurred to nrc that thls 7 year old could be a frlend for hlm tf I had had to organlze tt. Desplte no attempts to teach hlm letters, he amazed rrr at twenty months by Growtngl

Wthout Schooltng #84

3 suddenly polnflng to the letter'D' and saylng'Dadda"' He has done lt several tlmes stnce, so lt waan't a flukc. Insplred by thts, I trled to teach htm some other letters, but hewasn't lnterested so I dropped lt. He also knows serrcral colors, and lf he doesn't knonr the name of an obJect, he referg to ft by fts color. The otlrer day whlle outslde ln the garden hts T-shrrt gotvrct, and not the rord -Tshlrt'he called to me, 'Blue one *:et.' Agaln, we\rc rnade no attempt to teach hlm colors, but as an ardst I'm very amre of colors so perhaps I mendon them tn conversaflon spre than I r€allze. To me, all thts ls testlmony to a young chlld's

abtltty to absorb lnformadon. Patrtck also enJoys looHng at books by htmself and belng read to. He goes about trts ltfe so happlly and bustly that we can't help but feel that thts approach of tnvohvtng hlm ln our llveg, provldlng htm wlth tnteresflng materials, and allowlng htm to set the pace fs dght for htrn and urc hope to contlnue lt as he grours.

Morg wdtes tlrat unfl t

ltTsh

lonuschooliung grotry daldes on a enlrral adrtress, In4uhles can fu dbwted, b lrrlr at 14 Glenrrrd MonaValleg, Tralce, Co. KenV,

Ireland.

Supportive Superintendent Ellle

Lhnk

(PN unltes:

In thlnldng and readfng about homeschoollng orrcr the yeare, lt lus occurr€d to rrre that often we are prone to take a defenslve stance tn preaendng our:8€hree to the authorlUes, and Justtllably ao. Gfiren the scrutlrqr, aueplclon, lgporance, and fear of new ldeas on the part ofnelghbors, frlends, relaflrrcs, the NEA, and our local educators, tn marry casce lt haE been hard not to feel otherwlse. Our famlly tras been fortunate from

the very beglnntng (Geoffrcy is 12 and lkte ts 5) to harrc, wtth mlnor excepflona, avery

poslWe relattonstrlp wlth our local school authorldes, After an lntflal 'SetUng to

know you' Frtod, eyEryone has bcen vrry supportfue. ln my mlnd, at least, therewas no rleason for thc authorldeg not to trreat us urcll. There are very few horcchoollng famllles ln our dlgtrlcL Eo we are no threat. Thle eltuadon hag alloyrcd rre to harrc a rrcry dlfferent attrtude and appmach

toward ttre authorldes. At flrc, thelr acceptance, tnrst. respect and olfers of help havc actually made thtngs morc dlffIcult. I hanrc nerrcr had any battles to fight and hanrc nerrcr felt threatened or

challenged tn arry ray. Ttrouglr of course I appreclate thla, tn sorc ways tt lras meant that I have had to flgure out for myself

what homcschollng rneana and howl wtll do lt - lt has rneant that horcctrooltng ts strtpped dorrrr to a stnrgglebetween rrre and syself, rather than re and a school

offlctal.

It would be hard to pull apart all of the factors that harrc led to what has beconrc a

splendld unrldng reladonstrtp wtth our dtstrlct, but I can at least present our slde. Flom the outsct qrc were careful ln our

nretlngs to present oursehres as responstble, carlng parents wtth lots of thouglrtGrowlng Wthout Sctrooltng #84

fully urrltten materlale wtrlch qrc sent out atread of each meetlng. In addlflon, I felt

about a better world. Because of thls, we have valuable tnslghts to sharc wlth

that ltwas cruclal to pursue an even closer rclattonshtp wlth our superlntendenl so that both stdes had a chance to get a feel for the reallty of the other. I fndted hlm to our horrr for dlnner (and conflnue to do so), sent hlm lnformatlon to tnclude ln our Illes, brought proJects to trts olnce, lent hlmbooks (and vlce-versal. I have let htm know that hts lnput ts valuable to us. Thls

others. Through the urcekly records, the scrapbook, photo log and samples of work that I have subrnttted over theyeart, I hanrc shar€d sonre of these tnslghts wlth our superlntendent and ev€n snuck tn rqy phllosophy of educaflon. Ttre payolf tras been rronderfirl. Alter rnalntalntng cordlal communlcaflons throughout Ci€olhcyb elemntary sclrool years, the prlnclpal s€nt hlm a dtploma. Our relaflonstrlp wlth our superlntendent ts muhrally tueUqg

was not done as sonrc sort of ploy, but because I belfeved that not onbr wele \rrc dolng the rtght thtng by honreschoollng. but thatwe had somethlngvaluable and tnteresdng to olfer. I alurays sensed that I had best keep the most detatled and tnter,esUng documentaflon of our actMdes, wen before our

nqr

state law, wtrlchwas pass€d fn 1988,

rnandad a forrnat for recordkeeptng. Thts

ls probably because I'm the ldnd of person who ercpecta the axe to falll It nercr occurred to me to be lax fn thfs area- Otlrer honreschoolers often san 'If pu do too

much lt rnakes lt harder br ottrers' or iJust gfve them the mlntmumr or 'If they don t ask for thlrgs, don't offer.' I have

nqver agt€€d wholeheartedly wlth thtg stdrce although I understand the radonale and am qrmpatheflc to the feellngs that mght engender these posluons. I have alurays trted to frare the recordkeeplng prooees posltfircly and constructlve$ - l.e. the acrapbooks, photo albums, recorde, etc. urcre really br our famt} to enJoy ftromyear to year. However, errcn wlth all of tlrle, the *ort of recordkeeplng was sorcdrnca e<haustlng. Ttls year I hopc lt wlll bG dlfierent I trsrrc dqrrscd a format wtrtch so far has been nearly patnleae. lt lrrcorporatea all ofour recordkeeplng lnto one wkly sheet, 80 that at the end of our sctrool year I wlll no longer harrc to root through rry log book ftecause the eheet ls my log), and I won't have to recopy, reconstruct, or rercmber I harrc rnade a form Orat has slxteen spacrs, ln the left-trand column, for spcclflc aubJect areas. For those ofyou who have to or chooee to follow gtrtct currlcular gutdeltnes you *ould slmply ltst the subJects. For thosc who oomlxrs€ thelr own

*E do) lt wlll uortJust as are ltsttngwhatyou do durlng the rrcek ISS: Tfu subJects ltstcd lndude'bookstore,' for Geoftry'a wort at thc local booketore, 'karate,' 'personal crrrrlculum

(as

rcll. Baslcallyyou

proJects,' and 'photograptry,'

mre tndtdonal

ln addlflon

eubJects. Ttre form Itsts the days of theweek fn a grtd pattem so that Ellte can check offwhat was done cach day. At thc bottom ofthe page ebc hae spaccs ln whlch to llgt 0eld trlps, dlscus-

to the

slons, and book8 and magadnea read.l Nowat the end ofeachday and eomeflmealn bctwn, I ask Geoffrey what he hag been up to. reord our scheduled actnldeg. wrlte sonre notes lf I feel llke tL At the end of the weck I end up wtth neatly organfzed docurrntatlon wbrtch lncludeg boks read, 0cld trlpe, etc. Honr doea all of thfg relate to our

relattonshlp wtth the authortdes? Ftom rrry perspecttrrc, we are all dolng somethtng very spcdal wlth and for our drlldren. Often lt to a stnrggle. Ilnanctally, emdonally, and tn other waya. We are dofng tltls *r car€ about our ctrtldren and, I

bccausc

suspocl becausc

urc hanrc some

ldeallsm

and respectfirl. He tras read parts ofour reports to the school board, asked lfhe could refer homescholng queedons to us, and found blts of lnformaflon tn our reports that he thoughtunuld appeal to hts

own cldl&en.

Of mre tmportance, I thtnk, [8 thc apprecladon urc each have now for thc oosldon of thc otlrcr. Itlore than once he iras rernsrked on the arrpunt ofurork I have to do and the arrpunt of drre tnrohrcd ln creaflng programs for and wlth ruy chlldren. For my part, I recognlze that tttls man ls a good person, a comrnltted and creatlve educatorwho tras a dernandtrgJob and nunrcrous consttalnts underwhlch he funcflons (ag do all school teachert). I hgrrc corrE to see that our pa.perwork and docurcntaflon, and thc strength of our personal convlcflons and gucc€socs as r€Ilected ln thls documentatlon. can contrtbuG to tbc effort tryarrdg accptance and reepect for the horeschoollng optlon"

More on Testing in Washington Tte stay'Pofi/alnrs ttilthTesdtq In dewlbd lrl'p lwrcsr;hdh1g pents lrale had' dfibtfu ofunttlds,tertg standatdlzd tests b tMr ount chlldrenbaattsc ol d$erW hterprctallrrts oJ tle stalz's rqutenle.rt thot tests b odntlnlstd W quat@ tdrn&uls. Jqrwaftcs (WAl rcnt wltcs tlrmt btltls q{nlcrr, 'ate poft&rt oJ tle sldc qeatd W tle d^sfu ofi of patent'adnnnstetd Ests anld, b t&ea up fo nore aeaflin u.x Washbtgtdt tn CII4S *8{l

oltle tculvr

ossesstnenf

qtb{ Ik

e4ilo;brs:

las etat6 "that an annual aEacaathe shrdcnfs academtc progrees ts wrltten by a ccrdflcatcd pcraon who lr currently *rrhng tn the ffeld of educaflon." The *ords "currently," \nrHnXf" and 'fleld" canbe amblguous. Sorr trave The

rentof

fntcrpretcd tlrte to rean

employed," or, secf,i more rcstrlctlve, "currently empb5Ted by a public or prlvatc sch@I." Otfrcr homaechoolers deffne the€c

words broadly. tbcrtty dlowtng alrrlrgf arry crdflcd tcachcr to dve asscssrurts. I bellerre that tf the bglslahrc had santcd cRowNG WITHOUT SCIIOOUNG *E4. Vol. 14. No. 6. lSSil{ t(X7S5tn5. Rrbtdrcd bl-nothly by llolt Aeoclata, 2269 Malaadtuscttt Avc. Cembrldge MA Cnl4,O. 125 lyr, Detc of lelrc:

Dcconbcr I, l90l. Sccond-cla$ Pcr'g. peld at

Boeton. MrL FOSII{ASITE& Scod addreee dungca to OWS. 2269 Marsechurttt Avr. Cambrldge MA @f 40. ADVERIISGRS:

numbcccd

Dcadllrs

moths.

are thc lSOr ofodd-

4 horneschoolers assesscd by publtc or prtnate school teacher:, the lawwould harrc sald so. Because ther€ are now thr€e waya

clrtldren may be legally taught tn wastdngton (publtc, prtrrate, hom), therc are three ldnds of worldng teachers as well. Interpreted thts *a1t, homachool parents may assese other parents wlth cerdflcates, and many do. It ts supportable that arryone gMng asseesrcnte is, by dofng so, currently uortdng tn the fleld of educaflon. Thls allows retlred tcachers or thos€ on leane to asscslr. One could also aqgue that stnce there ts no r€qutrent that the crertlflcate

be from Washlngton, thoee wlth

state ccrdflcates could qualfy.

outof-

Local News For addresses oJ statc ard la,al organlzatlorls, see our Dlter;W oJ Orgst{zallorrs, ln thls tssue. t anr Honrg,*hoplhg Resa w I;Isl anollalile Jor $2.5O.

Llwr to bc Rc'vbcd

Uedtobr: Ttre lawa gorernrng educaflon ln Manltoba wtll bc rcvtsed fn 1992, accordtng to the Scptember

l99l

tssue

the ltlanltoba Associatlon for Scholtng at Home neweletter. The Manttoba &lucatlon and Tlalntng Department has issued a pap€r on educadon leglslatlon wtrtch lnvltes recomrcn&tlons for leglslattve changee. Glnette Le Moullec of MA.SH says she plans to collect home-echoolerg' recommendaflons to present at one of the , upcomfng hearlngs.

Eoncrohoolcs. DltglblG for Sohool

Actlvltlcr tcs fcdco:

lnstrucdon advlsory group, and that group

Homeschoolers ln mtddle and hlgh school arc now speclflcally elfgble to partlctpate ln school errcnts such as sclence falre, the Natlonal c€ographlc G€ography Bee, the Sclence Olymptad, etc., accordlnt to the September 1991 lssue of the NqrMerdco Famlly Educators newsletter. NMFE erylalns that these schol wents are regul,ated and

addnfstered by the New Meidco ActMfles Assocdaflon, and t}at shrdents must attend a school whlctr ls a membcr of thls orgardzaflon tn order to be eltgtble for tlreec actlrrtfles. The NMAA has now agr€ed to treat NMFE - the homeech@ltng orglrrlz flon - as arrember school so that horcschoolers can be ellgtble for tbe varlous actMflee. Horcschoolers trave to submlt to the NMFE, whtch wlll then provtde a Lctter ofApproval to Pardclpate. Ttrts albwe honschoolers to pardclpate errents as organlzed by horrrschol support groups or to approach the

ln these

local school prlnctpal for permlsslon to pardctpate ln errents held at the school, Ifs posslble for the prtnc'tpal to deny a chtld permlaeion to pardctpate tn a epeclflc acdvlty at a spcclllc school - apparently the nenr rrles only g,rarantee general

eltgtbtltty.

Eoncraboollng Advlroqr Group f,crw Yort: Ftom the October l99l lssue of the Horc Scholers'D<change rrershtten'Followtng a recornmcndailon tn a May l99l report to the Board of R$nts, Deputy Comntssloncr Arthur L ll||pn of the Nery York State Educaflon D@rb€nt recentl5r appotnted a horc

held fts flrst nrcung on September 26. The advlsory group iE composed of twelve home educators, three representatlnes ofthc New York State School Boards rdrsoclaflon, and three representaflves of the School Admlnlstrators Aseocladon.' HSE goes on to report tbat the gtoup dts-cussed the posstblllty of rwtslr1g the state's home educadon procedures and lssues concetmtng the homeschoollng of dlsabled clrtldren.

Protcrtla! Blllr rt Publlc Ecrrlagr Vlrcondn: Trn hundred and 0fty

people atterrded a publlc hearlng on November 4th ard many spoke agdnst October Spedal Seeslon Senate Bllls l, 2, ard 3, accordlng to a rrclllng from thc

ll|lgconstn Parente Assocladon. Thc blllg urculd rcqulre echool boarde to 'conduct a dereloprrent asaesarcnt of, and derclop and tndMdual puptl portfollo for, each chlld who resldee ln the school distrlct and tras attalned the age of 3' (lncludlng homeschoolers): lorper the compulsory school age from 6 to 5; expand the'tnstrucdonal program'of the pr.lblc echools to tnclude such tlrtngs as'family reladonslrtps' and 'personal gowth,': tncr€ase requberrents for standardlzed te8flng, tarry lkscrnan of the Urisconstn Parents Assoclatton told us that a couple of daye after the heartngle, he rctwtth the clralr of the Senate Educa$on Commlttee ad the governot's alde and leamed that thcy had agred that the btllg would not affect horroctroolen. larry says that he consldctl thls avtctory but that WPA wtU *atch to see what happcns througtrout thc rcet of the legl,elattve Process.

Clonlara School Home Based Education Program is one of a kind. It provides home education families with a comprehensive, innovative program. With Clonlara School, home educating parents have CHOICES gaiore.

Clonlara School Home Based Education

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Enrollment in Clonlara School gives families the peace of mind that assocation with a fully-functioning, innovative, private school provides. Parents receive help in designing and operating an individualized home based education program. Counseling and guidance on every :uipect of educating are as near at hand as parents need for them to be and ask for them to be. All dealings with outside officials are handled with and for a family by Clonlara staff (if necessary/desired by parents). Clonlara School Home Based Education Program serves all age ranges - early education through secondary. In short, ALL of the benefits of private school en-rollment are available to home educating enrollees.

For more information send this ad along with your name and address to: Clonlara School 1289 Jewett St. Ann Arbor, MI 48104

Pat Montgomery, Ph.D.

Director (313) 7694s15

Growtng tr4thout Schooltng #84

Single-Parent Homeschoolers People often assume, wrongly, that homeschoollng ls lmposslblc for rlngle parents. IFc havc prlnted several letters from rlnglc parents ln the past, and for thls lssue, we asled three of the parents who have bcen on our "Slnglc Parent" resource llst for sonc tlmc to tell us thelr storles.

Wasn't Willing to Stop Homeschooling Fton Eilate McNelI o/

Wlsoonsln:

I've been a stngle parent for slx years. Int[ally I managied to stay home by befng onwelfare. I stayed on lt as long as I could talk my tntake worker lnto lettlng me do It. She was very helpful and dtd her best to

work wittr rre. At one polnt the state of Wsconsln satd rve could stay horne wtth our chlldren unfll they were 6, but then they swttched tt to 3. At that tlme my youngest was 3 I /2, my oldest was I I, and the otlrers lrcre 9 and 5. My lntake worker told me tlrat I would now be rcqut€d to get a full-tlmeJob. I e4plalned that I had alr.ady stgned the horneschoollng afndavtt for that year, so t had already rnade an a€r€ernentwtth the state to provtde homesctroollng and lt would be much harder to do that |f I had to get a fulltfrnJob. She talked to her supervlsor and nothtr4 happened, so I gueee thry declded to leave me alone. About ayear and a half o8o tlre state flnally sald I had to ffnd aJob. I harrc worked at ayacht club and ln a gtft shop, and ttrls past surnmer I dfd babysttflng tr my home. We llrrc ln a resort area so there are a lot of famllles here durlng the summer. When I was worldng outstde the home I rehed on my farntly for help wtth the ldds. I have a brother and slster-ln-law who llve nearby and who also teach thea own ldds, so that uras perfecl The younger ldds would spend ttrne wlth thelr couslns wtrlle I worked. By thts tlme, my two oldest had dectded to go to publlc school. When my par,ents morred up to thls area, they helped too. My rnother's an ar6st so the ldds would do lots of art stlrlf wtth her. Now IVe agreed to go |rto the dalry farmlng buslness wtth my parents. I ltrrc on the farm that they own, and I uras ln thls buslness wtth my ex-husband, so I have experlene {'tth tt. The ldds spend sorne tlrrrc ln the barn wlth rrr, helptng out orJust talHng to me. They also spend tlme ln the house by themselrrcs. Thry'll ltsten to muslc and play garne€, or work wtth paste at the ldtchen table. They do a lot of playlng wtth books, too. They're Hndergarten and second gradeage now, and lt's enc.ouragtng to sec hownrcll thry are able to use thelr dme alone. They are also really good at gnbbtng whaterrcr free Ume I harrc.

Growlng Wthout Schoo[ng #84

We do a lotof readtng together, and we tell storles, work on rnath, do other thtngs. I don't flnd that I have to spend serteral

hours a day teachfng. When I flrst becarne a stngle parent I had no ldeawhat I was gotng to do. IJust sald to myself, homeschoollng ls as tmportant as can be, and I'm gotng to ngure out away to do lt erren lf lt's not the w"ay I

thought tt was Sotng to be. I Just wasn't wtlltng to gfve lt up, and I'm really gfad I dtdn't because I see the reeults now ln the uray my older ldds arE able to handlc school. My son tells the younger lilds not to go to sch@l too early, but to be glad that they have thts tlrre at home. I lrarc made extra elforts to flnd other people for the klds sornedmes. lfy son ts reallSr lnterested ln rockets and model planes, and I'm not. My brother, who llves six hours away but vtslts durlng the summer, loves rockets and planes, so I

brought them together.. My brother was thrtlled. He doesn't harrc chlldren of hls own, so he sald, 'Thts tB a chance of a Mettme for rne.' My older daughter ls tnterested tn horses, and I found her a rtdlng tnstmctor who hrrned out to be arrentor for her, who gave her morc than the lessons. Ifs really tmportant to flnd other adults when ldds want them. because one parentJust can't do eveqrthing or be lnterested ln everytlrtng. An lssue for nre ls be|rg fsolated. Ifs been a struggle for nr to ta*e ttrne away from rny lddg and spend tt on myself. Singfe parents harrc to carry that burden of

gutltaboutwanttng to meet the needs of the ktds all the tlrne. We don't have anybody to hand lt olf to. But lf you don't take care of

yoursefi, you won't be able to take care of tlre ktds as well. I've learned to say to tlre ldds, 'IVe gpt to do thls for myself.' I Jolned a chotr, and sometlmea I wlll say, 'I can't do that tonlght, IVe got rehearsal.' They don't argue wtth rne about thls, and I can tell by thelr relrons€ that they're happy I'm gotng out to do thfngs for myself. They don't llke to sce thelr parent draggtng around saylr4, 'I glve you everythtng but I don't get anythlng for myself.' It's really hard on them to have a parent feellng that u/ay, so tt's better for dl of us if I have a couple of thtngs that I do for myself.

Brought Kids to lVork Ftom KarcnTwner (CA): My ldds are l5 and 13. They urcnt to school tn ktndeqgarten and flrst grade, and the older one has trted Junlor hfgh and hlgh school for halfa year each, but he dectded to horneschool agaln. Up undl a year and a halfago I earned rrnney by cleantng houses. Now I'm on welfare, and I'm looHng to start a home bustness wtth weavlng and sptnnlng. When I was dotng housccleantng the boys would conr wlth nr, and etther help rc or brlng thelr own work to do. Theyd brlng books or art supplles, whaterrcr they were ln the rnood to nrcrk on that day. Sorrrttnes lt was hard to be lntermpted when they had questlons or wanted to

showme somethtngl but I would tryto rernember that they had to come 8rst. They understood that I had work to do, so th€y qenerallv wouldn't bother rne too much.

ih.y

w,ire rrcry self-modrrated, and urculd help each other out, t@, tf I nasn't avatl"ble. I ltked belng able to check out what they urere dolng and to be part of tL Sonrttrnes they stayed honr lf they dtdn't feel ltke comtr4 to work wlth me, and I'd beJust a phone call away' I Glt comfortable wtth thls once they 1rcrc about 9 and 7. The netglhbors were close by and I urasn't that far away. One dtlBcultlr wlth betng a sln$e oarent ts that tfs hard for them to have itty m. to rel5r on. We\rc made an elfort to flnd rnale frlends br them so they can have rrrn ln thetr ltrrcs, becausc thafg becomtng more lmportant now as they get older. I also look for other people to help them ln speclllc areas, My older son ls tnterested ln computers and I'm trytng to flnd someone for htm to work wlth on ttrat. My slster ls a spec-tal ed teacher, so she has accegs to nratertals and was able to provtde books, yrcrksheets, and so on when the ldds rlrcr€ younger. She uras very supporttve. At flrst my hmlly wasnt sure about honrcschooltng, but now they see I'm golng to do lt an5nrray, so they rnlght as well help out. People are alnrays armad that I can horreschool as a slr4le parent, but Iuras always so determlned to do tt that I knew I wouta nna auray. I presented lt to the ldds as an opdon and they declded they vranted to do tC and they kneur they urculd have to about comlng to Yrork wlth

5.1-*o*

'I'm in This None" oJ Cal{at'ia: Flolm Chttstlre Wlllrrrd

,{.s

a stngle mother educaflng my ctrlld

at horrr, I share rnore wlth all horneschoolers than I dtlfer from them. I read GWS and tdent$ wlth other famtlteg' problems, Howwer, I do so ftom the perspectftrc of a str4lle rnother, wtrlch ls

dlfferent from that of a mother who ts part of a couple urorldng on aJolnt rrcnturc' I'm

tn thls alone, wlth all the responslbtllty

for ererythtng and no one to share mY cornrnltment to my daughter and our llfe together. Befng a slngle mother ls never the flrst cholce, but rnany of us end up wtth tt, elther through chance or because other parts of our llves harrcn t worlrcd out the way we'd hoped. The most lmnrdtatc ne€d ts to flnd sonE way to flnance thts part of our llves. Bccause my husband dted, rrry daughter and I recetrrc Soclal Sccurtty. llrere was also some lnsuranc=, wtrlch won't last forwer and I dread lt runnlng out. I now rent a house rather than ownlng one, and we hanrc morred to an area wlth a lower c.ost of lMng than the one we Lved ln before. The obvtous soluflon to flnandal problems ts to take aJob outslde the horne, but unless close relatfires or frlends can pmvlde free care for your chlld whlle you are awEry at worh school becomes the

6 cheapest daycare provlder. Some mtlrere have found uork to wtrtch tlrelr ctrlldrcn acoompany them. Thls ts aluays hard for 6 [s lm8fne, as I\rc always found that ry daughter takea all ry attendon" but I'm glad t}at eom€ harrc been able to

arange thfs. I tnve the sarm dtlffculty wlth the'urcrk at horc' ldea. My daughter ie now 9, but I sflll flnd tt a challenge to

fnd enough {ulet tlme to pay the btlls or

make a fw short phone calls. As she gets older, I look forrrard to havlng dme tn whlch I can puraue some o4pnlzed acfivtty forwtdch I uould be patd mon€y. I fecl strongly opposcd to sctrool for ur5r dauglrter, Hor*rrrcr, I also r€altze that flnanclal prleasur€8 may sorneday rnake scndtng her to school tlre most senslble step, so I try to keep uryeelf ptrtlosophtcally ready for lt. I hope, tf that happens, ehe wtll have been rnade stronger I her yearc at horne and better able to cope wlth school. I also hope ttrpuld notbe fornery long. As tt is nm/, I'mJuet glad for e'ery year I'm able to keep her out. I see school nx)re as a last resort than a posttlve support for stngle parente. IfI thought schol provtded a beneficlal experlence, ry daughterwould be there nonr. School Itself doegn't tmprove ln Ore eaqe of whaterrer clrsumstanceg nray lead to your b€comlng a slngle parenL

Myhusband dledwhen my daughter was 3. Some months later, after shed turned a very firacdous 4, I turned to a local Montessorl school for help. My neryes urcre pr€tty fraz,led,. and havlng a fenr hours wtthout rry daughter'g contenflous personaltty at least gav'e rne some qulet

rtm.

Hosr6r€r, I was nc.rrcr happy wtth the atdtude ofthe teachere, who eepoueed resp€ct for lndMduallty but obJected to my

dauglrte/s qulrke of attlre (mdn}

tras had trtp surgery, helptng

herwtth

urcarlng her shoee on the \rongl feet. and once errlng oo far as to appear ln echool wtth a ladybug palnted on her face). The dlrector also tnformcd rre that they had nerrer had a cl'rtld tn the school who was sflll nureing. Although lt was not expll-

household work, and a local college student has talsen on a role as rny daughtet's oompanion for a fenr houre one ortuo days aurcek She sometlmeg plays wtth cldldren on our street, but thls seerxrs to requlre regular adult attenflon at frrequent tnterrrals. so

cltly

wtrlle

stad, I felt my daughterwas vtdd as Bomcryhat abcrranl The ech@l and I cqm to a pardng of thc ways Eonre spnths later and I waa r€ltored I hadn't depended on school to get us through. As a stn$e pa.renl stne no one ls comtng horrr at the end of the day to gtrc you a brealq you hanrc to arrange thtngs for yourself. Ttrts lB certalnly tnre of nnthers who hanrc aomsone comtrg home, too. It Juet eeerns a llttle rrpre lntenee when yourne on your ounr. You're already ln the safety net, such as lt ls, and youJust have to rla.ke tt worlc One of the best thlngs l\rc found ls to occupy myeelf and my dauglrterwlth thlngs I enJoy as much as she do€s. The telephone ts also very tmportant to mc, my connecdon to the outglde world. I'm generall5r eo Ur€d at ntght that I fall asleep wtth ny dauglrter, but I usually rrake before her tn the mornlng and can take advanraSe of low longdtstance rates to talk to frends on thc eo.t coast. I harrc ttme for m5raelf wtren she ls sleeptng and arry ttnrc that shc may spend wlth someone else durlng the day. She has not been happy spendfng tlme auray from nrc, wtth sltters or erren at frtends' hornes,

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each other. Isaues can't go unresolved, bccause allqre harrc ts each other and we Just have to be able to flnd a oomrrnn

ground. Thts ts not a recommended way of llfe. Ctrlldren need mre adults around them to fornr relaflonshlpg wtth, and one person ls reall5r wcrburdened wlth all thc responslbilfty for errcrythfng all the ttrrr. Hoperrcr, It's the uray some ofus end up, and we can doJust ffne. On the poottlve stde, I rnake all my own declelona. I don't harrc to argue for my posldon ln the pull and tug of cloee

For more letters ftom slngle parents, see GWS #72 *74. Ourcomplete ltst of stngle parents wlltng to corrcspond wlth others wtll be publfshed tn GWS #85. Also, we'rrcJust learned of a new netmrk: Slngle Farents Eclucatlng Ctrtldren ln

(408) 286-9770 po Box

mlnlmum family goup, and sometkres lt ls rather claustrophoblc. We are alnnye wtth each other. On the other hand. rrrc have stmpl5r had to leam to get alongwtth

where she could take lessons. She often wanted to spend tlmeJust hangtng around the ranch, and *= gradual! got to know everyone who keeps a horse or takee leesone ther€. She becarne frlendly wlth the ranch manager and helped hlm feed all the horses. Ttren one day, a rather neglected old nrare needed a honrc. and slnce we needed a pony, we found each other. Havtng a hors€ has been a wonderful exq>erlenoe for us. It gtves us a focus other than each other, and we have nnde many frtends who share thts lnteresL So that prett5r much fllls up ow llrrcs. I'd ltke rnore flnrc to work on rny own wrrflng proJects, but I dtd managc to wrlte a short story last summer, whtch I was later lnvlted to read at a local tlreater, and now I'rrc wrltten thts. So thtngs are loosenlng up. I'd llke to be relleved of flnancial *orrleg, but I'm sur€ I share that wtth pcople who ltrrc ln larger fantlles. Belng a slngle parent is not a path l would hanrc chosen for us, but we are travellng ttJust fine.

tnvohrcd wtth her at

As mydaughtergrorrs up, ehe ls bmnchlng out to other adults for reladonstrlps. She has always lorrcd horscs. After we rnoned, we wene able to flnd a ranch

"" 43 ,(;? "

ft ooling Around carries

lm not dlrectly

those tlmes, I'm not able to work acrtoualSr on any of ury mm proJects, etther. She ls now able to occupy hers€lf for an hour or so wtrile I spend ttrnc at the $rpeurtter, as she ls dolng wtrtle I wrlte thts. I look fou.ard to the futurewhen she may be more consumed by her tntcrests and wlll allow me to pursue my orrm. As a wtdow wlth no close fr,mtlSr nearby, I have felt that havtng sonrone who was not ernflonall5r lnvolved wlth ue would have rrade a btg dtllerence to us. Ag a rrotlrer and daughter, we are tlre absolute

personal relatlonshlps.

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but at ttrls age she ts branchlng out rrprc. Lately she tras spent ^trnewlth a frlend who

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Altemaflve l€amhg TSPECIAL), elo Amy.. Vanorlo, 2 Plnevtenr Dr, Arnelfa OH 45102,

Growlng V/tthout Schoo[ng #84

Challenges When Young People L,eave Home furvq

My daughter Brttt uras 20 when she

slgnlllcant enough that

India. It ura,s sUU rerrember

the sunrlse on the nnrnlng she headed east. I may have felt small pangs of apprehenslon, but not enouglr to hold her back: my prlmary feelfng was of admtraUon for her adventurous splrlL When Maggle at 16 headed out lnto a snowstorm on her flrst dogsled race, lt was seven hours before I saw her agdn. I remember havlng a sttnglng behtnd my eyes and a lump ln my throat as I uratched her passage lnto thts Me tlrat she wanted, but more strongly I felt admlratton for her splrltedness. Ttrts past fall, the thlrd of our flve chlldren, Dan, now 17, took the eame llnd ofstep as trls slsters had taken when he dectded to attend an tnsfltutton to further hls work wtth hts cello. Ttrls tras been the hardest passage for rne to handlerthus far. The ffrst daya were dlffIcult for Dan and for us. Dan was to attend Interlochen Instttute for the Arts as a post-gpaduate, whlch ncant hls course ofstudyurculd notbe geared for graduatton, and tlds meant he could stud5r course€ all related to muslc, wlthout any requtred academlcs. TWo weeks before Dan uras to be at Interlochen he was sent hls schedule wlth all of the muslc subJects he had requested flUed ln, and a notc saylng that at least one academlc subJect vras rcqutred for every studenl When myhusband Rlcharrd called and talked to tlrem he was told that rrye could take lt to the board, but the rcqulrement had never befor€ been untved. Ortglnally thc cello professor for whom Dan audtfloned had safd that hewould not need to take an acadernlc course,

saytng, "I don't want you to go to an

lnstltutlonl' ln mtd-September Rlchard drorrc Dan to lnterlochen - a 0ve-hour drftrc from our wlnter horrrc tn Upper Penlnsula" Mctrt-

Brrtlcer (OH) utdtes:

dec,tded to travel alone to

Concerns

but that

had been months earller. After dlscusslon wlth scneral pleasant and helpful people tn the admlntstratlve offlcc, Rlchard yras dlrected to the professor of ecologr who ltves on a small fannstead on the edge of the Interlochen campus. Because Dan's breadwlnnlngwork ls tn the 0eld of outdoor leadershlp, tt rras thought that thls partlcular course and professor would be a rratch for Dan. It seernedgood.

The next hole tn the road came when Dan found out the day before hts deparhrr,e that he couldn't talre hfs kayak Interlochen ls on a lake: Dan ls used to a lot of and canoetng tn hts ltfe. I felt like crying. Rlchard gave nE a look that satd, 'The wzry you handle tbts wtll alfect Dan's attttude grcatly.' Dan and I have the klnd of relatlonshlp ln whtch our Gellngs about thlngs lead to a mutual s5rmpathy, rather than to calllng on the other's strengfhs. So, I helped tdm unpack trls spray sklrt, nose cllp, and kayakfng helmet, and sald, 'Oh urcll, Dan, thered be only about slx mor€ weeks of kayaldng weather at the most.' I really felt llke

Growtng Wthout Schooltng #84

gan. He help€d Dan settle tnto hls roonL then noflced an otl leak tn hls van and had to learrc the campus qutckly ln order to flnd a rnechantc to dtagnose the problem. The v'an had to be left nearty at a garage, whlch meant anottrer trlp to Interlochen on the followlng day. The next day I surprlsed Dan by knocHng on the door of trts room ln Plcasso Hall. From the dark, srnall, sllent room emerged an unhappy looklng Dan. lt uras afternoon, and had he been home he would have been ln hls part ofthe large

room he shares wlth trls slbllngs, etther playlng trls crllo or ltstenlng to cello muslc. Here at thts flne arts lnstthrflon, he was asleepl I felt tears sdnglng but fought hard for control. I looked around hle barc Itttle room and show€d trlm how to prop trts sleeplng bag behtnd hlm for cozlness when readlng tn bed and put the nrg I'd brought from hte bedslde at the cabtn beslde trts nervbed. Rlchald and I urallced outslde where our other clrtldren, Ben, Jonah, and Maggte, and homeschooltng hend Brtdge! were explorlng. We uralked across the campus to thc car. I dlscovered Dan had hard$ eaten a thtng stncc Rlchard had left htrn I gave htm tu/o btg sllcee of the black bread Maggle had baked that mornlng and sorne cheese. He seemed a ltttle better after that. Wewalked aome nDne. We met Dan's roomrnate: Dan tntroduced htm carefully to each farnlly rrcmber. He uras an arrogant lad who to work ln the htgh scores he'd made on the SAT tn the ffulst two mlnutcs of conversatlon. My heart sank at the thought ofDan shartng a room wlth thls person for nlne nronths. Dan has never had any trouble betng away from us, desplte hls closeness to the family. Thfs past summer he spent on$ threenreeks of the surnmer at home: the rest of the tlrne he was elther ofr studytng muslc at a strlngs prcgram or runnfng arr outdoor dog trel':klng program wtth Maggle and Ben. But I could tell he dldn'turant to part from us tbls aftemoon at Interlochen, and yet urc had to go. He kept thlnlrfng of things to show us, thlngs to talk about, tn a sort ofdeprees€d fastdon. I thtnk the tnstttuflorralncss of thls place rcally offcentered hlrn I hugged trtm goodbye, as dld Rtchard and hts slbltngs, and urc drorrc off. At thle polnt Rchard took my hand and I broke tnto the tears I d been hoHfng back. I kneq, Rchard nrasnt Celng too cheery about lt elther but when I'm weak, he shores rrrc up, as I do htmwhen he ls tn the rnore nrlnerable mood. ThIs parHcular sepa.raflon liom one of my chlldren was wr,enchlng rne. I asked myself why. My answem to myself: It nras the ilrst ttrrn I had dealt wtth an lnstttutlon tn llfteen years; ttwas aratny, drearyday; Danwas the flrst of my sons to go a\pzry; but most of all, I was seelrqg Dan's struggle. When Brltt had a temperature of lO5 degrees and was dellrlous ln Indta, I heard

of ltoSenntds. When Maggle outon the frozen trall vas trytng deaperate$ to get her dogs acroaa awooden footbrtdge pulltng her sled and hers€lf o\rcr a gully ln a snowstorm, I utosrttttere. But because of that surprtsc r€turn to Interlochen. I saur Dan's sufrerlng; I thlnk I wtsh I hadn't, because I can't protect trtm from lt. He has got to go through ft. As Brltt vnote to mc:

I reallze why you feel badly. I probably feel much the same heartng about thlrgs llke loneIlness ln my slbltngs - I get t€ary, saddened. Butwhen lwas thelr

that I uras sulfertng. I}eep tnslde I knew

age, I xrasr awar€

had to be. They are precloua, beautlful people, Penny, and becausc of thelr alfrness, they wtll cllmb dark rnountalns, search out thelr own gllnts of sunltght, and thrtve. Bellerre me, I brorl each shade ls rnerely a shfvertng-spot to enhance the s,"annth of the eun. Your chlldren are wtldflowers. They wlU tltrfve. They lmow tt too. lnstde they know tt. Don't bc too concemed. She's rlght, I know. Tlme is already provlng thaL Dan has now been auray nearty tcro months, and trls last letter was fllled x/tth the performance the orchestra uras travellng to Chtcago to ghrc, the f,ne muslclang tn trts charnber group, the good dlscugglons hed had f,'tth hls ecologr professor and the good chalr he d eamed tn the orchestra (whlch IJust learned he lost, and has moved downwards). He also reognlzed tn trts last letter that serlous young people are gtlll rarc but that they do eldst and that tt lB hard to eat as healthtty thcrc as he ls used to. I thfnk tftls paeaagerfl:f

work out too.

Mother's Work Helps Kids Meet People Arrya rn |J'.rllfs:

*alo@te of Washlngtrrt

So many people ask mc how my Hds are gofng to be orposed to people of dtlferent backgrounds when thry don t go to school. Thry havc to get out there sonrtlrrr. You can't keep them from the real world.' [As tf a clasgr@m of 2G,lO people

all the sarre age all readlng the sam

sentence at t}re eame Hme was any orample

of the real world.) At flrst I dtdn't urcrry about lt much; I flgured thryd met ldds at playgrounds and such, and our nelghborhood olfered qutte a dtverstgr. I began worrylng about lt a blt when tt became evldent that my ctrlldren preferred golng to the park ln the rmrnlngwhen ltwasJust about empty. And I must adtntt, I sHll don't enJoy explalntng that erren when there are flfty klds around, elglrt ttrrre out of ten my ctrtldren prefer to talk to adults that happen to be tn the vtclnlty. Age preference dtdn't really bother me, but the fact that they dtdn't seem to be gettlng much expo-