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WITHOI-]T SCHooLING lssue 123
US $6
Overcomittg Fear and Shyness Ho,,meschoolers
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July/Aug.'98
From the Editor
Contents
You know those stories you read in GWS or hear at
News & Reports p. 3
When Kids ResistWriting p. 47 Thoughs from a prolific grown homeschooler who hated writing as a child, and from parents of reluctant writers Challenges
& Concerns p. &11
Test-Taking Experience, Is Algebra Necessary?
Overcoming Fear and Shyness p. 12-16 Some kids find it hard tojoin new activities or enter into new experiences. What makes it easier? What can parents do to help?
in College - Yes, These Students are
t!p. 17-21
Homeschoolers routinely get admitted to college, but what kinds of students do they become? llere, two homeschoolers write about the challenge of maintaining enthusiasm and self-direction in a college setting, and an admissions officer shares observations about the homeschoolers at her school
Additions to Directory p. 22
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WE CANNOT VOUCH FOR ANY CI.AIMS MADE BY ADVERIISERS. crowing Without Schooling #125, Vol. 21, No. 2. IS.SN J*047F5305. Published by Holt Asciates, 2269 Mm. Ave., Cambridge MA 0214,0. $25lyr' Date of isue:July,/Aug' l99S Periodicals Posage paid at Boston, MA md at additional mailing offices. i,oSTMASTER' S..d addre$ chmges to GWS, 2269 Mm. Ave, Cubridge, MA 02140 Phone 617â‚Ź6,!3100 . Fil 6174649235 ' web w.holtgs.com 'email HoltGWS@erols'com or
HoltGWS@aol.com ADVERTISERS: Space resemtion deadlines are the lst of odd-numbered months. write for mtes: Bab Lundgren, idvenising Mmager, 3013 Hickory Hill, CollelaiUâ‚Ź TX 76034; can 817-54M423
support group meetings about homeschooling kids working at internships orjoining grouPs or traveling away from home? Those are all the really confident kids, right? Not the shy ones, the fearful ones, the ones who aren't immediately comfortable jumping into a new experience' Wbll, actually, no. It's easy - too easy, unfortunately to assume that if someone is doing something, that means she wasn't afraid to do it. It's easy to split kids into two groups in one's mind: the fearless ones who get involved in things, and the shy, timid ones who don't' I hear parents make this split when they say something like, "My daughter loves animals, but I can't imagine her working with a veterinarian like that girl in the last issue of GWS. My daughter's just too shy." But maybe that girl in GWS was shy too. Maybe being shy or afraid doesn't have to mean never doing the things one wants to do. A homeschooler I know who went off on a big adventure told me that afterwards, friends and acquaintances repeatedly exclaimed, 'nV'ow, I can't believe you weren't afraid!" "Who said I wasn't afraid?" she answers. You can be afraid and do the thing anyway. The real difference isn't between kids who are afraid and kids who aren't. It's between those who let the fear keep them from doing what they really want to do and those who find a way to do it anyway. Parents and other adults can make a crucial difference here. If we assume that being afraid is suflicient reason not to join an activity' or if we assume that kids can'tjoin until they're no longer hesitant or shy, then, indeed, kids with initial hesitations will probablyjoin fewer activities. But maybe we can learn to believe, and say, something like, "Well, if this is something you really want to do, being afraid doesn't have to stop you. Most people are afraid, or at least somewhat hesitant or unsure, about trying new things. The trick is to learn how to cope with those feelings and still do what you want to do." The young people who write for this issue's Focus openly acknowledge feeling scared, shy, intimidated, or hesitant before walking into a new art class or going offon a three-month internship orjoining a team. Yet they're also quite clear that these were activities they truly wanted
to do and felt proud, even exhilarated, after completing. The discussion here is not about activities that truly feel wrong, that one truly feels unready for or unsuited to. The young people are talking about activities they genuinely desired, even as they feared them. These kids provide a comforting but also inspiring reality check. Sure, other people are scared. All those kids you hear about who do interesting things don't have some special characteristic that allows them to plunge in fearlessly every time. They'vejust been able to figure out how to carry on even with the fear. - Susannah Sheffer GnowrNc Wrnrour ScHooLrNc #123
oJulv/Auc. '98
News
Calendar Tulv 1Gl2: Homeschool and Familv Learning Conference in Boxborough, MA. Workshops and exhibits. For info: 207-657-
&Reports
News Briefs How many homeschoolers? Dr. Patricia Lines' latest working paper, Homzschool.ers : Estimating Numbns
and &owth, confirms that homeschooling continues to grow at an impressive rate. Dr. Lines writes, "Based on analysis presented here, it is safe to say that homeschooling has at least doubled in the five years between the 1990-91 school year and the 1995-96 school year. ... Given the available evidence. the total number of homeschoolers in the 1990-91 school year may have been around 350.000 children nationwide. and may have been around 750,000 in 1995-96. Based on limited evidence from four states, the number is growing, at a rate of from 7-I57o per year. Assuming the larger growth rate, 1,000,000 children could be homeschooling by 1997-98." Spreading the Word In March, Pat Farenga participated in a panel discussion about homeschooling that will be broadcast in September over National Public Radio. Pat, Walt Gralum (president of Mass. HOPE, a statewide Christian homeschooling group), and Dr. Mary Anne Pitman (of the University of Cincinnati), fielded questions from the audience and from the moderator,John Merrow. Several children and teenagers asked questions or made comments, and the discussion was lively and interesting. To find out when this edition of The Merrow Report will be aired, check www.pbs.org during August or call our offrce at that time. Other such opportunities we've had recently include Susannah's speaking at a conference on Social Ecology in Montreal this past April and on the NPR show "Pub Iic Interest" in May (along with HSLDA's Scott Somerville and two DGarea parents) and Pat's article, "Homeschooling: Creating Alternatives to Education" in the May 1998 issue of the Bullztin of Sci.ence, Tbchnol.og, and Sociely Studies.You can download a copy of that article off our website, wwwholtgws.com, or order the complete issue from Sage Publications, 805499{721. News from our offrce As we go to press, we've just signed a contract with The Express Group, a company in Michigan that will be able to han-
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#l!l
2800; royala@mindspring.com
dle all our fulfillment work - filling book orders and processing subscriptions. Since it's been a continuing challenge for us to cope with rising overhead costs and other expenses, we're excited about this opportunity to run the business end of our work more smoothly and economically. For now, we'll continue to have phone and mail orders come directly to our offrce (we'll then forward them to the outsourcing company), so subscribers and book customers won't have to make any changes in how they reach us. We're looking ahead to being able to have the company receive orders directly, and we'll keep you posted on those developments. Andjust so we're absolutely clear: nothing else is changing except who enters and packs your orders. All other aspects of our work and our organization remain the same.
Aus. 73: Homeschool and Familv Learning Conference in Livonia, MI. For info: see above. Aus. l5: Homeschoolins for Evervone, by the Rocky Mtn Education Connection, at Teikyo Loretto Hts University in Denyer, CO. David & Micki Colfax, Cafi Cohen speaking. For info: Cindy Stanley, 303-34r-2242.
Aus. 2l-23: Home=Education Conference in Sacrarrrento, CA. Victoria Moran, Ed Dickerson, Mary Grifhth, Donna Nichols-White speaking. For info: 760-248-7637. Seot. 14.18: 9th Annual Oreson
Unschooling Chautauqua near Cascade Head, Lincoln City. For info: SASE to Oregon Chautauqua, c/o Kim Gordon, 5125 SW Macadam Av Suite 200, Pordand OR 97201 or send email to ann@outoftheboxpublishing. com Seot. 25-27: Growins Without Schooling annual conference in Great Barrington, MA. For details, see the back 617cover of this issue of GWS, or call us
8643100.
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"lnnoYqtive Colloborqtions Wifh Homeschooling Fqmili es" Learning Horizons serves home educators with students of alf ages and abilities. We help identify your child3 learning style, provide tutoring in subject
matter and learning strategies, and provide guidance & counseling as wefl as curriculum development assistance. We also assist students with
organizational skills, study strategies, test
taking/preparation skills, reading and writing. Cafl Us For a Free Phone Consultation
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IEARNING HORIZONS
oJurvlAuc. '98
Directors StePhen Dolton, MSW Stuort Dworkin l arn U:_-l- C^__-i C 1r, 180 High Street, Suite 3
Brookline, MA02l46 Phone: 617.738.0454 Fox : 617.731 .3301
When Kids Resist Writing These writers are responding to a letter from Sue Klassen in GWS #121
The Physical Act vs. The Creative Act Milaa McDonald
of Massachusetts
urrites:
Like Sue Klassen. I am the mother of an active, curious l0-year-old who has shown little interest in the physical act of writing. Except for two years (grades l-2) in an alternative private school, Eric has been homeschooled. While his classroom teachers were not big on seat work, they did require a minimum of paperwork. Even then, this was not something Eric was drawn to.
Our homeschooling philosophy has essentially been unschooling, but over the past year or so I've spent a lot
of time thinking about whether this approach will continue to work. This reevaluating has come about partly as a function of my children getting older (my daughter is 13) and partly because their father and I are divorced and he is concerned about their skill levels in academic areas and whether they are "ahead of' or "behind" their peers. I've tried to settle on a comprG mise approach, but for the most part the one thing I've required on a daily basis is math. Eric is very close to
completing the Saxon 65 textbook, quite an accomplishment for him. When he first began working in the Saxon, his actual writing of the numbers was so sloppy it was difficult to read. I thought the daily act of writing out the problems would eventually produce neatness, but it hasn't. His answers are legible enough, but his writing remains on the messy side. His biggest problem in working on the math lessons, in fact, has come from this dfficulty with neatness. Properly lining up columns in multiplication problems, for instance, is essential to getting the right answer. 4
(besides devouring Calain and, Hobbes
Eric's solution is to use vertical lines to keep the columns straight. While this works, it's still unacceptable to someone like his father, who feels that using lines somehow signals a lack of intelligence or ability. Eric's handwriting is also sloppy, and he hates the act of writing longhand. He has received much pressure from his paternal grandparents about this, especially his grandmother, who talks often with him about the necessity of learning printing and cursive, and sends him copies of the cursive alphabet to practice with. The times we've tried traditional approaches to handwriting have been horrible battles, and I decided it simply wasn't worth it. The only thing Eric can write in cursive is his name. which he learned so he could sign bank deposit slips. In printing, he primarily uses capital letters. \A/hen he uses lower case letters,
man." His problem did not really lie in lack of ideas but in the newness of composing a piece of creative writing and in the quandary many writers face: how to begin. Since his biggest love is basketball, and all his reading
they're often not propor-
tionate with the upper case letters. Yet if he spends enough time, he can write a short note neatly enough, as we saw when it was time to write thank yous for holiday gifts. The process was clearly painstaking for him, and not enjoyable. Interestingly, he would always put offwriting to his grandmother until last, and then come up with a note that was barely legible. I really wanted Eric to try his hand at writing as a creative act, but it was clear that combining this with pencil and paper would be a disaster. So we turned to the computer, which Eric was already using for making fact sheets and statistical charts on his favorite subject in the world, basketball. As we talked about writing, it became clear that Eric wanted to be able to write but was having difficulty coming up with ideas. At first this seemed amazing, since Eric's energy and curiosity are notorious and he has been referred to bv some as an "idea
books) centers around basketball books and the sports page, it seemed logical that he might want to write about that. I threw it out as an idea, and started suggesting possible topics. He bit, and last December he put together amagazine called "NBA Cool Stuff," complete with a 1998 projected finish and articles titled "Team of the Century" "Who Rules the Rim? NBA Top Ten Slammers," and "The New Dynasty." In the end, he came up with all his own ideas and really enjoyed sitting at the computer composing his articles. When he finished a piece, we would sit down and talk about punctuation, capitalization, and paragraphing. At first he incorporated none of this, but I was amazed at how quickly he began using periods and capitalizing the first words of sentences. Shordy after the holidays we finished readingJean Craighead George'sJul'ie of theWolaes trilogy out loud. and Eric liked the books so much he decided to write a sequel. He's currently written only about three or four pages, and who knows how far he'll get, but he's enjoying
himself. One thing I've noticed in both these writing projects is the way Eric successfully imitates style. I don't believe he thinks about it in this way when he's writing, but it's clear that he's paid close attention in his extensive reading on sports and his listening to our reading aloud together. His "NBA Cool Stuff'articles are bright and upbeat, with varied sentence structure and plenty of commentary. The novel, which he's calling'Julie on the Tundra," is written in a much simpler style, reminiscent of Craighead George's lovely, austere prose. The fact that Eric is imitating style in no way detracts from the originality of his pieces - he is definitely expressing his own ideas and opinions, and creating new storylines and characters. And imitation is a tried and true, completely natural step in mastering any discipline. I've observed, too, that
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although Eric (unlike his sister, who began writing spontaneously at the age of 4) has not formally wrirten consistently from a very young age, he is still able to write at a level of maturity appropriate to or greater than his years. Perhaps this is because he has read and been read to often. It also fits
in with what I've observed as his lifelong patterns of learning - he seems to be clueless about or incapable of certain tasks one day, and the next day he performs them with ease and competence. To Eric's grandmother, and maybe to a teacher if he were in school, the fact that he doesn't print well means he can't compose a piece of writing. But that simply isn't true, and I'm grateful that Eric has had the opportunity to learn and explore in his own way and avoid being labeled. Over the last few weeks Eric has seemed to be taking a break from writing, and I won't push him. Our experience with these two writing projects has clearly shown me that Eric is not only a competent writer but that he also enjoys writing, and I feel confident he will return to it.
Grown Homeschooler Hated Writing as a Child, Loves it Now fubecca Auerbach (CA) sent us a colry of a Letter she wrote to Sue Klassen:
I'm a recent graduate of unschooling who is seriously thinking of a writing career. When I was your son's age, I had no desire to write so much as a letter. Like you, my mom was optimistic 95Vo of the time and spent 5% worrying that I'd never learn decent writing. My recent interest and skill in writing has been a relief to her, and I hope that may reassure you and help reduce the percentage ofyour worry time. I wish I'd had your son Nathan's clear head about the subject when I was 10. I would have saved myself and perhaps my mom a good bit of worry. Instead of reassurance, all Mom got from me was "I hate writing!" and "I'm just no good at it." It's odd now to look back at a time when I thought I'd never be able to enjoy writing or to
write anything I could be pleased with. Rcbecca sent a copy of a piece she wrote a year ago about her
writing
experience:
I had trouble learning to write in public school, and my bad experience there made me hate writing for years. In kindergarten, I was able to produce tolerable printed letters if I worked very slowly and carefully. In school,
though, slowness was considered a greater fault than bad work, and a child who did not complete an assignment before the bell rang was obviously lazy and needed to try harder. Having been raised thus far to take as much time as I needed to do things well, I never considered doing sloppy work. Yet how was I to create anything worthwhile in the few measly minutes my teachers allowed me? The pressure frustrated and frightened me. I was hurt and angry when the teachers assumed I was lazy. I cried and cried when, after I worked intently on a writing assignment and failed to complete it on time, my first grade teacher kept me in from recess to impress on me the importance of "trFng harder." She ordered me to promise I would be faster next time, a promise I didn't believe I could keep. Any school official will surely tell you of their school's commitment to instilling in children the virtues of perseverance, hard work, and honesty. Yet here my teacher was punishing my diligent efforts and extracting a false promise from me. By the time I left school (after a
offirst grade), I was sure I was no good at writing. I was ashamed. For years, I hated to write so much as a shopping list, especially if anyone was going to see it. My mother was stumped. Other subjects gave her no concern, for I learned them eagerly and naturally. But how could she get me to learn this one important skill that I could not bear to study? She knew more pressure was not the answer. for that was what had made me hate writing in the first place. No attempts to "make writing fun" succeeded for more than a few minutes. Having run out of options, Mom gave me what I needed most. She allowed me not to write. She gave me time to leave behind my miserable classroom experience and the anxiety it had given me. Only when that anxiety faded would I be able to see that writing need not be the wretched job school had made it. It took me five years to relax. While all my little friends srruggled or yawned through years of reports, spelling words, and grammar and vocabulary lists, I scarcely wrote a fraction of what they did. Mom taught me cursive writing when I showed an interest in it, but all I wanted was a demonstration of how it was done. Now and then, she would get anxious about my penmanship and assign me to do some exercises. These assignments made me so unhappy that Mom rarely gave them. After a while, she dropped them entirely, realizing that they did more harm than good. Likewise, she assigned school-style writing projects week
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