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SUPPORTING PARENTS THROUGH THE EARLY YEARS
DECEMBER 2014 – JANUARY 2015
– anxiety in pregnancy
baby wearing – parenting hands on hands free
do you think that's funny? – stereotyping and humour
surviving the silly season – be good to yourself
pooped... – fatigue during pregnancy
congratulations! – winners of the 2014 Photo Competition
The magazine of Parents Centres New Zealand Inc
Parenting tips • Childbirth • Family finances • Breastfeeding • Lifestyle • Family health
Phil and Ted
get carried away
Parents with young children deserve to pack just as much fun into their day as before kids, if not more! With that in mind, phil&teds has just released a new range of five carriers to help them do just that. With multiple carrier options to go from downtown to out-of-town, newborn to toddler, life with kids in tow just got a whole lot easier!
Carriers that are newborn ready (even if parents aren’t!) New parents often struggle with the amount of baby gear required to take with them, just to leave the house. Factor in an overnight trip, and the amount of stuff to pack can be overwhelming. That’s why phil&teds designed the astoundingly compact airlight carrier. A finalist in the prestigious JPMA innovation awards, airlight is no larger than a water bottle, so fits into a nappy bag with ease. Packing inside its padded hip belt, airlight is so simple to put on even when you are sleep deprived! Available in six sporty colours and machine washable, airlight will brighten and lighten up your day. The emotion carrier has been designed to bring baby high and close to you, ideal for comfort, safety and bonding as you stroll. With clever self-locating clips making loading bubs easy, the emotion carrier brings you independence and hands-free time when you need it. The team at phil&teds are parents too and know that spit happens! That’s why emotion comes with two dribble and and is machine washable to keep everyone fresh and clean. Made from Oeko-tex certified fabric, emotion is proven to be gentle on babies’ delicate skin.
Baby got back! When babies transition to sitting up, the phil&teds carrier range still has your back. With a choice of packs for everyday travels through to once-in-a-lifetime hiking adventures, phil&teds have a carrier for every occasion and terrain. The parade carrier is cute, compact and ideal for travelling or taking on the farmer’s market with gusto! Parade is lightweight, yet strong enough to carry children up to 18kg and their gear. Parade even comes with a mini backpack, that’s set to become every child’s favourite accessory! Sleek and slimline to look at home in the city, the metro carrier is also made with longer adventures in mind. With a huge amount of storage, metro is also perfect for shopping and taking everyone’s gear, yet its body conscious design means that fully loaded with upto child and gear, it still feels light to wear. Coming with all the kit needed to stay comfortable and protected in the wild, the escape carrier makes light work of sharing the outdoors with children. Packed with features such as a moldable headrest for naps on the go, as well as hood, change mat and foot stirrups to maintain good leg circulation for riders, this sure is one sweet escape. Perfect for taking on a great Kiwi walk this summer. With phil&teds legacy of designing innovative and specialised all-terrain products, it’s no wonder that their new carry range has parents' backs (and fronts) covered. The new range is available exclusively at Baby City stores throughout New Zealand. �
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Photo Credit: Jo Frances Photography
Worried sick; anxiety in pregnancy
Letters to the Editor............................................................. 4–5
Kerstin Kramar............................................................................. 8–11
Product page............................................................................ 6
Parenting hands on and hands free
Nutritious and delicious
Anna Hughes................................................................................ 16–19
Nadia Lim...................................................................................... 12–13
Do you think that’s funny? Karen Shead................................................................................. 20–22
Make the most of baby’s bath time Johnsons’ Baby............................................................................ 14
A supportive partnership.................................................. 24–25 Surviving the silly season Cary Hayward............................................................................... 26–29
The great Kiwi road trip Amanda Nilsen............................................................................ 34–38
Expecting support Lisa Manning................................................................................ 30–32
Parents Centre Pages........................................................... 39–45 Homeopathic first aid Judy Coldicott................................................................................ 58–59
Winners of the 2014 photo competition................. 46–49
When is a bargain not a bargain Kate van Praagh ......................................................................... 60 –61
Beat the back to work blues............................................ 50–52 Pooped Pregnancy fatigue....................................................................... 54–56
An empowering decision Shannon Booth............................................................................ 62–65
Stocking fillers Great ideas for Christmas gifts................................................ 68–72
kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years
The resolutions I will not make Stephanie Matuku....................................................................... 66–67
Winners from our last issue............................................ 73 Find a Centre........................................................................... 74 Directory page......................................................................... 75 Shopping cart........................................................................... 76–79 Giveaways.................................................................................. 80
SUPPORTING PARENTS THROUGH THE EARLY YEARS
DECEMBER 2014 – JANUARY 2015
Being happy in the moment
Worried sick; anxiety in pregnancy While it is normal to have some worries during pregnancy, for some women anxiety and worry can be so severe it gets in the way of enjoying the pregnancy and other aspects of their life. Women with extreme anxiety may also have appetite changes and find that the worry makes it difficult to fall asleep and may even experience panic episodes during pregnancy. So what causes this and what can you do to help?
Do you think that’s funny? Gender stereotyping is such a sensitive issue, and so is parenting. Put the two together and, quite clearly, you get an explosive mix. Recently, a cartoon we placed on our Facebook page sparked debate on whether or not stereotyping is funny. Are we so politically correct that we can’t laugh at ourselves, or should we be more aware of the inadvertent hurt we can cause by reinforcing old out-dated stereotypes?
The great Kiwi road trip Planning to take the family on a road trip this summer? Before you decide what to pack or check what the weather will be like when you get there, remember your trip starts with some important planning before you even leave the house. We share some practical tips to ease your journey and help you keep your cool in the car.
Kiwiparent – Since 1954 the magazine of Parents Centres New Zealand Inc Editor
Leigh Bredenkamp Ph (04) 472 1193 Fax (04) 938 6242 Mobile (0274) 572 821 leighb@e–borne.co.nz PO Box 28 115, Kelburn, 6150
Editorial Enquiries Ph (04) 233 2022 or (04) 472 1193 info@e–borne.co.nz
Taslim Parsons Ph (04) 233 2022 x8804 Mo 021 1860 323 email@example.com
Image Centre Group
Viv Gurrey, Chief Executive Officer, Parents Centres New Zealand Inc Phone (04) 233 2022 Opinions expressed in the magazine do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the publisher. Advertising in this magazine does not imply endorsement by Parents Centres. Generally material in this publication may be reproduced provided it is used for non–commercial purposes and the source is acknowledged. However, written permission must be sought from the editor. Kiwiparent is proud to support the WHO/UNICEF International Code of Marketing of Breastmilk Substitutes adopted by the World Health Assembly in 1981.
ISSN 1173–7638 www.kiwiparent.co.nz
As we accelerate towards the end of the year it is hard to keep up as the inevitable end of year functions kick off and children ramp up the excitement level in anticipation of Christmas largesse. The pressure can be as massive as the marketing hype that drives impossible expectations. To be honest, I was starting to feel pretty sorry for myself and grumpy at the additional pressures that were building up. Then our granddaughter told me she would like to send a Christmas gift to her penpal, Wydline, a girl her age who still lives in a tent village with her family in Haiti after her home was destroyed in the 2010 earthquake. This earthquake killed more than 200,000 people and left another million and a half homeless. The sheer scale of the disaster has meant the recovery process is taking years and progress is painfully slow with around 500,000 men, women and children still living under canvas in the Haitian capital. As we started planning what gift to send Wydline, I was reminded again of how difficult life is for families in so many places. We will send a parcel containing crayons, felt tips, ribbons and hair accessories, sunglasses, stickers, some sweet treats, a friendship bracelet and a summer t-shirt. Our friends who have connections in Haiti have suggested we also include some practical things like lined paper, erasers and other school stationery as these items can be difficult to source in the impoverished nation. To be honest, I am not sure the parcel will reach Wydline intact as mail is regularly plundered and a parcel may well be considered fair game. When people are made desperate by poverty and hardship things can go awry. But we will try because we really care about Wydline and her family, and fear of failure should not be a barrier to trying. After all, you never know when a trickle of kindness might turn into an avalanche of goodwill. This small act set me thinking about the reality for so many around the world. Families living in places ravaged by war, or ground down by poverty, or traumatised by the spread of illness. My petty worries really don’t feature at all and my outlook has undertaken a significant shift. I am not quite so whiny (well, not always) and I am looking forward to recognising and thanking all the people who have touched our lives in a positive way throughout the year. Over the festive season I am going to hold my family and friends close to my heart and be truly grateful for the countless small miracles that grace our lives every day. The award-winning CBS news journalist and war correspondent Eric Sevareid put it well: “Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we're here for something else besides ourselves.” Whatever your culture or your religious beliefs, I wish you – and those dear to you – a peaceful and joyous end to 2014 and every success and happiness for 2015. Meri Kirihimete ki a koe me te wha- nau. Jìjié de wènhòu, groeten van het seizoen, chairetismoús sezón, sezono salutojn, salutations de saison, salutations de saison, die grüße der jahreszeit, Ia manuia le Kerisimasi ma le Tausaga Fou. Leigh Bredenkamp subscribe online at www.kiwiparent.co.nz –
letters to the editor Write a letter and receive a gift pack containing Johnson’s Extra Rich Body Lotion 400ml and
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Congratulations to the top letter writer Rebecca Williams-Phelan, who will receive a rose gold Melting Heart pendant with three charms – 'love', 'tree of life' and 'I love my kids'. Powerful and interesting reading I would just like to say thank you for the article on teaching children about race and identity. We are a mixed race family that has just moved from London to Wellington (I am black British, and my partner is Irish. We have two small children). I must admit to having been concerned for our children about what attitudes here towards them would be. Both of our children attend a daycare centre, and we have noticed that educators have picked up positive messages about biculturalism very well, and our children have learned a lot about Maori culture, which we think is excellent.
be increasingly important to ensure that those messages extend to other races and identities. We haven't experienced any problems thus far, but your article contains powerful and interesting points that every parent should be aware of, and if communicated to every child, we can start to ensure that children like mine, and every child of a non-White identity, can be confident that they will be treated equally.
Rebecca Williams-Phelan, Wellington
Making the most of maternity leave Kia ora Kiwiparent magazine team. Thank you for giving me and my baby, Matilda, a great project and something super fun to do while on maternity leave. The photo competition really inspired me to get into baby photography. It encouraged me to spend that extra bit of quality time with bubs every day and not just get carried away with chores and coping with the general craziness of the first months after birth. In this photo Matilda is three months old.
However, as the population grows and becomes more diverse, it will
Katharina Schiebold, Wellington
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Parents Centre – always part of my life I just wanted to write in to say how much I enjoyed issue 261 of Kiwiparent. I found almost all the articles interesting considering I have an almost three year old. The article on gender stereotyping was great, and I realised that as much as I didn’t intend to treat my son that way I have tended to buy him quite a few boy toys. Though in saying that as a girl I loved playing with all the boy toys and now I have the excuse to buy them and play with them. I have decided to ensure that the dress up box that I am setting up for him has boys, girls and neutral costumes and toys for him to play imaginative games with or without his friends. I really enjoyed the article Better by the Book, as I am an avid reader (maybe book addict would be a more realistic term) and I hope I am setting my son up to be the same as I do feel it is a
very important skill to have, not just for education but for your general wellbeing. There is such great joy in escaping into a book and having a little break from the real world. And of course since I am on my local Parents Centre committee I love reading the Parents Centre pages to see what is going on in other centres. Parents Centre has been a part of my life since my mum joined a coffee group when I was small. She then joined the committee and was involved for the next 20 years or so, meaning that Parents Centre has always been a part of my life. I am glad that I am part of this wider group of mums and dads on committees throughout NZ and love seeing how active we all are in our communities. Looking forward to the next issue.
Stacey Francis, Onewa
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While it is normal to have some worries during pregnancy, anxiety and worry can get in the way of enjoying the pregnancy and other aspects of life.
worried sick Anxiety in pregnancy A pregnancy can be such a blissful time. It is an amazing journey with the most incredible creation on its way: The beginning of a new life. For many women, their partners, their wider family and their friends this is often a time of celebration and anticipation. While currently pregnant with our third child, it has been surprising to me that since my first pregnancy 12 years ago, how much and at the same time how little has changed within a decade. Once you have boarded the Pregnancy Cruise Ship, you will soon be inundated with advice from others who have “been there done that” and want to bestow their wisdom on you with the best of intentions. And much of this BEST you will soon notice contradicts itself – either because its origin is based on individual experiences or because it may be from a different generation. All too soon, the size of your beautiful baby belly can be proportional to the worries and anxieties you experience: What’s the right thing to do? Now some of this is normal but anxiety can become a debilitating condition during pregnancy and requires good care to ensure the best long-term outcome for the mother, her baby and those around them. In the last few years, while there has been increasing awareness about depression during pregnancy and postnatally, anxiety is not often considered although we know from research that it is a more common condition than depression. It is not uncommon that a pregnancy can become all absorbing and bring out the worrywart in all of us. And for good reason: You are growing a life inside of you, so precious that you would give your life for him or her – mother nature intended it to be that way. Hence, it is natural to fret about what you eat, drink, think, feel, and do. It is also perfectly normal to worry about whether your baby is healthy, how this new person will change your life and relationships, and whether you are truly up to the task of parenthood. While it is normal to have some worries during pregnancy, anxiety and worry can get in the way
of enjoying the pregnancy and other aspects of life. Women with anxiety may also have appetite changes (e.g., often difficulty eating), and find that the worry makes it difficult to fall asleep. Some women experience panic episodes during pregnancy. These are times of extreme anxiety where there may be hot or cold feelings, difficulty breathing or a smothering sensation, numbness or tingling in the fingers or around the mouth, a racing heart, and a feeling of loss of control.
How does this come about: A bit of risk involved … Research shows that there are some risk factors that may predispose some of us to experience more anxiety than the common worries that most women experience. These risk factors include a family history of anxiety, a personal history of depression or anxiety, or pre-existing hormonal imbalances for example. If we are more highly strung and want to get everything 100% right all the time, our high standards can also lead to anxiety if we find we cannot meet our standards. However, even when none of these risks are present, due to the life-changing events in body and mind as well as the hormonal changes, the risk of excessive worry is higher during pregnancy than other times.
What’s the BIG deal: Why does anxiety matter? Since ancient times, scientists and philosophers have written about beliefs that the emotional state of the pregnant mother may affect her unborn child and in the last two decades research has confirmed this. Maternal stress and anxiety during pregnancy can have both immediate and long-term effects on her offspring and has been associated with higher incidence of preterm birth, smaller birth weight and length, and increased risk of miscarriage. Babies born to highly anxious mothers can have a temperament that is more difficult to soothe which may later relate to the child’s own emotional and behavioural regulation difficulties such as impulse control and attention problems.
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How does this work?
So what will help …
There are no direct neural pathways between the mother and foetus. One possible mechanism is through stress hormones. When we are stressed, a series of chemical changes is set off in our bodies and brains, such as the release of cortisol and adrenaline. Normally, these chemicals help prepare us for danger and are important for our survival. However, if we are chronically stressed and anxious, these stress-related hormones can remain high for too long and create havoc in our bodies. Stress hormones in the mother’s body do reach the baby. When a pregnant woman is chronically stressed or anxious, the baby may be exposed to unhealthy levels of stress hormones, which can impact the baby’s brain development.
Most importantly: self-awareness and talking about it. This means taking an honest look at yourself and how much you have on your plate. How much of your day and especially time when you are not occupied do you spend being worried? Reading about or talking to others about their experiences can be helpful in getting a guestimate of where you are at. And talking to health professionals like your midwife, doctor, LMC or Plunketline can also be very helpful. Research has shown that one important factor is the mother’s level of social support. Other protective factors may include: gaining some control of stressful situations, consistent prenatal care, regular light exercise, adequate rest, healthy eating habits, and avoiding alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs.
Chronic or extreme maternal stress may also cause changes in the blood flow to the baby, making it difficult to carry oxygen and other important nutrients to the baby’s developing organs. In addition, chronically stressed mothers may feel overwhelmed and fatigued which might impact their diet and sleep habits and consistency of prenatal care. If you are used to caring for others rather than yourself or giving 110% at work, making yourself a priority may seem unnatural or even selfish. But taking care of yourself is an essential part of taking care of your baby. Cutting down on stress – or learning how to manage it – makes for a healthier pregnancy, a more settled baby, a toddler who is easier to parent and so on.
10 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years
To start, gently share your fears with your partner – even if they are about him or her. Chances are they are harbouring concerns of their own. Communicating openly about your anxiety can help you both feel better. Turn to friends or family members for support, too. Other mothers-to-be are another source of support, as they are probably experiencing the same worries you are. If you find you are extremely anxious or have a specific reason to be concerned about your baby's health, make sure you talk to your midwife or your GP who will know about support services in YOUR community. A clinical psychologist, psychotherapist or a counsellor can be very useful to talk to. They are trained to be a confidential, knowledgeable, and nonjudgemental source of support and you do not have to worry about unloading your anxieties with them. �
Kerstin Kramar Kerstin is the Director and Consulting Clinical Psychologist at Mind and Heart Psychology. She has been working in private practice and the public health sector in New Zealand and overseas. She is passionate about supporting young parents’ wellbeing and when they encounter stress-related issues, relationship and adjustment difficulties, and parenting issues. Kerstin works in private practice in the Wellington region while enjoying every other moment with her two busy children and the third on the way.
The New Zealand Perinatal Mental Health Trust exists to improve outcomes for families and wha-nau affected by mental illness related to pregnancy, childbirth and early parenthood. www.pmhnz.org.nz
A few more practical hints …
WE HIRE CARSEATS! from 0-13kg approx
Practice saying "no." Make slowing down a priority, and get used to the idea of asking your friends and loved ones for help. Cut back on chores – and use that time to put your feet up, nap, or read a book. Take advantage of sick days or vacation whenever possible. Try deep-breathing exercises, yoga, or stretching.
t s e
Get regular exercise such as swimming or walking.
Do your best to eat a healthy, well-balanced diet so you have the physical and emotional energy you need. Go to bed early. Your body is working overtime to nourish your growing baby and needs all the sleep it can get.
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Limit "information overload". Reading pregnancy books, surfing pregnancy websites, and listening to your friends' pregnancy stories are fine – but do not delve into all the scary things that might happen during your pregnancy. Focus instead on how you are feeling and what is happening to you now.
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nutritious and delicious My food philosophy is all about putting a healthy spin on food, making everyday recipes more nutritious, while remaining delicious. I most definitely endorse supplementing refined sugar for natural sugars, and trying to reduce the amount of saturated fat slightly, as long as it doesn’t compromise the yumminess of the end product – otherwise why go to all that effort for something you’re not going to enjoy?
Coconut and passionfruit pavlova with fresh fruit salad For the pavlova
6 free-range egg whites
1 cup cream
1 ½ cups caster sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla essence
2 teaspoons corn flour 1
2 tablespoons caster sugar
teaspoon white vinegar To garnish
¼ cup coconut thread ¼ cup passionfruit syrup
Fruit salad ½ pineapple, cut into bitesize pieces 1 punnet strawberries, hulled and halved 2 kiwifruit, sliced 2 apricots, sliced 1 punnet blueberries
Method Preheat oven to 130°C (do not use fan bake). Line a baking tray with baking paper and draw a 20cm circle on it using a plate as a stencil.
1 2 3 4
Place egg whites in a clean, dry bowl and beat with an electric beater until stiff peaks form. Gradually add caster sugar while continuously beating. Continue beating on high speed for minutes until all the sugar has dissolved and meringue mixture is thick and glossy. Beat in corn flour and vinegar. Spoon meringue mixture into the circle on the baking paper, making sure the base is well covered right up to the edges. If you like you can smooth the top of the mixture to create a flat at surface, but I prefer to leave it in dollops and swirls. Bake in oven for 1 hour 15 minutes. Turn off oven and leave to completely cool without opening the door. Once cooled, the pavlova can be stored in a large, dry, airtight container for a few days. To make the fruit salad, mix all ingredients together.
TO SERVE: whip cream, vanilla and caster sugar together until soft peaks form. Dollop cream over pavlova and decorate with fresh fruit, passionfruit syrup and toasted coconut. �
Here are my top tips for making your baking that bit healthier: 1 For a nutrient-dense gluten-free option, use ground almonds instead of refined wheat flour. 2 I love using dates in my cooking as a substitute for sugars – like in my banana, date and nut smoothie. 3 Always take the opportunity to add more fibre – whether it be oats, nuts or sneaking in fruit, vegetables or beans. 4 Substitute some healthy monounsaturated fat oils in place of using all butter. I’ve produced a few healthier baking recipes that are free of refined sugar, gluten and dairy, and they’ve all been a hit. While they are considered to be more virtuous than their standard equivalents, I would still never deem them ‘healthy’ enough to be eaten regularly. So feel free to have some baking every now and again, especially over the festive season. But make sure you enjoy it as a treat – that’s what treats are for! – Nadia Lim � Kiwiparent readers who sign up for My Foodbag will get a free seasonal fruitbag valued at $14.99 on the first order (new members only). Just use the promo code: KIWIPARENT_919 Available from 30 November 2014 to 30 January 2015.
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making the most of baby's bath time Did you know that your little one’s skin is still developing during their first year of their life? That beautiful soft baby skin is 30% thinner than ours, and that means it needs extra special care! Infant skin absorbs and loses water a lot faster than adult skin, making it much more vulnerable. It’s also their first defence against outside germs and irritants (which bubs are especially sensitive to) so it’s important to keep it healthy and clean. Some mums worry about bathing their bubs, but a little knowledge goes a long way! Babies love the stimulation of water, and may be more content which is great for bonding! Just make sure you have everything prepared beforehand, and never leave your baby alone. As a guide, 36°C is the perfect temperature for newborns, while older babies enjoy 37–38°C. Some parents choose to bathe in just water, anxious that they might use the wrong product or that bath products could upset the skin’s delicate balance. Unfortunately, water alone isn’t always enough to remove all impurities on baby’s bottom, in line with recent findings published in the Association of Women's Health, Obstetric and Neonatal Nurses guidelines. Midwife Joanne McManus Kuller recommends choosing products that are “mild/gentle skin care products, specifically formulated for baby skin” to help remove impurities from baby’s skin. A pioneering clinical study by Professor Tina Lavender, Professor of Midwifery at the University of Manchester found that, at two weeks, skin cleansed with Top-To-
14 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years
Toe® had higher hydration levels than skin bathed in water alone. The finding highlights the special needs of infant skin. Professor Lavender’s findings have shown that, not only is washing with JOHNSON’S® baby Top-To-Toe® bath more hydrating than washing with just water, but that it is also as a mild and gentle to skin as water alone. Clinically proven suitable for newborn skin, Johnson’s® baby Top-To-Toe® contains effective naturally derived ultra mild cleansers to wash away dirt and waste material. It has passed 2000 safety assessments and has been tested by independent dermatologists. It’s 100% soap-and alcohol-free, pH-balanced, dye-free and has been allergy tested so you can rest assured even the most delicate skin will be well cared for. Johnson’s unique No More Tears® formula is as gentle to the eyes and skin as pure water, and a convenient way to cleanse baby skin and hair without drying it out. Another way to make the most of bath time and care for your little one’s delicate skin is with Johnson’s® baby Bath. This soap-free, pH-neutral formula is clinically proven mild, to help protect and soothe baby at bath time. Just squeeze a capful into baby’s warm bath, and swirl to mix it evenly. With Johnson’s® baby Bubble Bath & Wash, a gentle wash can also be bubbly! This special formula has been developed by combining the long-lasting bubbles babies love with a hypoallergenic, mild baby wash. It’s been tested by both dermatologists and pediatricians so you can be sure even the most delicate skin will be cared for and clean. Best of all, the formula is so mild your little one can enjoy sweet scented bubbles everyday! �
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Parenting hands on
Babywearing is the act of carrying your baby against your body in a fabric baby carrier. It might be a specifically designed item or merely a simple piece of cloth tied strategically. In many cultures babywearing has always been a practical way to keep baby safe and meet her needs in the present moment. In New Zealand the practice of babywearing largely disappeared post-colonisation and is now making a comeback as more parents experience the benefits. Research on skin-to-skin contact through Kangaroo Care with premature babies shows that a baby’s temperature, breathing and heart rate stabilise and regulate according to the mother's. Cortisol (stress hormone) levels drop, as does blood pressure. A reduced pain response has also been observed. Being held close is equally beneficial for a full-term baby. Skin-to-skin advocate, Dr Nils Bergman says: “In the safe and ideal environment of the mother, the “physiological set points” [mentioned above] are efficient and economical, and allow maximum use of energy to be directed towards growth.” Held against his mother’s chest in the days, hours and weeks after birth, baby can smell the food that nourishes him. Here he feels safe, knowing that his needs for survival – warmth, protection and food from his mother – are close. The benefits aren’t all for baby. Holding your baby close helps you to get to know your baby, recognise and interpret her ways of communicating. Babywearing gives you a great tool for protecting your baby and keeping her close while allowing you to continue with your everyday chores and many events. Wherever you go your baby can sleep comfortably in their carrier
whenever they’re tired. Except when driving of course – always use a car seat in the car! There is no better way to simultaneously get some gentle exercise, socialise (in a low key way) or get things done while providing the closeness and security your baby needs in order for them to put their energy into growth and brain development. A study of Canadian mothers and their newborn infants showed that babies who were carried more (4.4 hours per day) cried for significantly shorter periods, a total of 43% less, than babies who were carried for less (2.7 hours per day) at the peak crying age of eight weeks. (Barr et al., 1991). With a new baby in the family it’s time to recruit aunties, uncles, nanas and grandads to teach them how to safely ‘wear’ your baby. ‘If only’ you say! Thankfully babywearing today has become a lot simpler and a lot more comfortable when there is no longer a village to help a new mum. Over the last ten years huge amounts of research has gone into simple to use, comfortable baby carriers. There a many different types of carriers out there and many more different brands. Most importantly and just like learning to use a car seat or pushchair, there are some safety aspects that must be considered.
Ensure that your baby FITS in whatever carrier you are using Your baby must be supported firmly against you, particularly through the upper spine and neck where the aim is to keep their chin lifted off their chest and their airway open. Those new to babywearing commonly have their carrier too loose. To test, push against your baby’s back. He/she should not move in or up significantly if the carrier is firm enough.
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You must keep your baby in sight, within hearing or be able to feel their breath. This is to ensure baby’s face is not covered and to monitor the airway when your child is still young and vulnerable. A baby in his first few months of life is best carried on your front. When your baby becomes stronger and you more confident, a back carry is ideal, especially with a heavier baby. The top of your baby’s head must be up at your neck. This makes for easier monitoring and is a more ergonomic and comfortable carrying position for you. Baby’s spine and hips need to be correctly supported by the carrier you are using. There are many carriers on the market that do not do this. The bones that make up the socket of their hip joints are as soft as the cartilage in your ear. The carrier must support baby’s legs all the way to their knees. Their knees need to be lifted to hip height or higher so the ball of the femur (thigh bone) fits correctly into the hip socket. The biggest contributor to Developmental Dysplasia of the hip is genetics. Many people don’t know of the incidence of hip dysplasia in their family. Taking preventative measures of good positioning is simple and beneficial for all babies. The Institute for Healthcare Policy and Innovation in Michigan states: “The healthiest position for the hips is for the hips to fall or spread (naturally) apart to the side, with the thighs supported and the hips and knees bent.” This position is referred to as the froggie, M or straddle squat position. The knees should not be splayed too wide with a newborn, around 90 degrees. Babies are born with a C-shaped spine. It takes around one year of gradual strength and development to gain the mature S shape. It is important to ensure your baby carrier supports this natural curve. The straddle squat position will tilt baby’s pelvis and support this curve in the lower spine. Ensure there is nothing forcing the spine to straighten or arch baby’s back.
18 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years
Babywearing is fun, beneficial and practical for the modern day parent. For thorough, ‘best practice’ information on babywearing techniques and safety Wearing Your Baby DVD/Download has been created by four babywearing families who live in Dunedin. It covers several different types of carriers available on the market, shows ways to use them from newborn to toddler, share ways to make your own or improvise a carrier and even gives tips on how how to wear two babies. You will be inspired by the real life demonstrations and you’ll be able to decide which carrier will work for you. A great gift for the soon to be parent and a must for those new to babywearing. Find out more about Wearing Your Baby at www.wearingyourbaby.co.nz. Use the coupon code parents centre for $5 off the DVD or Download. �
References: Barr, R.G., Bakeman, R., Konner, M. et al. (1991). Crying in Kung infants: a test of the cultural specificity hypothesis. In Developmental Medicine and Child Neurology 33, pp. 601-10. International Hip Dysplasia Institute (IHDI). www.hipdysplasia.org/ www.skintoskincontact.com
Anna Hughes Anna is the Co-director/producer of Wearing Your Baby DVD/Download and the founder of the tepoti Dunedin Babywearing group and library. She lives in Dunedin with her husband and their two boys who are four and seven. She works as an Environmental Educator.
Exploring what works best
for your family
Win a copy of
Wearing Your Baby Enter online at kiwiparent.co.nz and follow the instructions. Entries must be received by January 13, 2015. Winners will be published in issue 265
Wearing Your Baby - DVD Review by Tracy Finnie, Childbirth Educator I had the pleasure of attending the pre-launch for the DVD ‘Wearing Your Baby’. I was struck right from the start by Anna and Wayne’s passion for their family and what it had meant to them to have their children close to them. The DVD is also a labour of love and I am thrilled to be able to add it to my resource collection. The DVD has more than three hours of information, is impartial and is not brand-specific but outlines all the different options for babywearing. The instructions are concise, with easy step-by-step instructions for each style. I was impressed with the information and the research that has been done on each style. The DVD/Download covers wrap around slings, pouch and ring slings, mei tai and podaegi – Asian style carriers, soft structured carriers, improvised carriers, how to breastfeed baby in a carrier and wearing two babies. You are bound to discover the carrier that will work for you. You will definitely be inspired to wear your baby. In relation to my own childbirth education classes, I will be incorporating the DVD into my postnatal sessions. I particularly found the safety section to be very relative for my classes and it gives a wonderful overview of babywearing and the safety aspects you should consider. Since showing this DVD in my classes, participants have commented on how great it was to be shown the option of babywearing and appreciated being able to make a more informed decision about what carrier would be right for them. Babywearing throughout the early years is vital for healthy social and emotional development. There is no doubt in my mind that this is a wonderful resource for parents, promoting the benefits for babies and their parents. Babywearing is very much the "new parent must-have", with magical baby-soothing powers and the ability to give you your hands back – a winner for parents and babies alike. With many families now looking at babywearing as a practical way to be close to their babies, I think this DVD is a great way to get the right advice and explore what would work best for your family. Whether you’ve been given a carrier or already decided on the type you want, Wearing Your Baby provides tips and tricks for using the carrier simply and with comfort. It shows how to use each carrier differently as your baby grows so when a style isn’t as comfortable any more you have options for trying another. I personally have learnt a lot from the DVD and feel more confident about answering questions that arise in my childbirth education classes. �
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Do you think
that’s funny? Gender stereotyping and humour Recently, a cartoon we placed on our Facebook page sparked debate on whether or not stereotyping is funny. Are we so politically correct that we can’t laugh at ourselves, or should we be more aware of the inadvertent hurt we can cause by reinforcing old out-dated stereotypes? It is a great debate and worth exploring further. Gender stereotyping is such a sensitive issue, and so is parenting. Put the two together and, quite clearly, you get an explosive mix. The stereotyping of gender roles has existed for years and, although it has gradually been changing, it is still there. It starts young too. We all know how the toy aisles in shops are so geared towards a particular gender. The pink aisle with its baby dolls, princesses and ponies, versus the darker, blue aisles with the building bricks, cars and superheroes.
20 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years
And you hear it when your child comes home from school. 'Mummy, the boys say pink and fairies are for girls – they only like blue and green, monsters and dinosaurs'. If only things could be a little more balanced. Over the years, things have changed. Historically, and traditionally, it was the woman's role to bear the child and to rear it. It was how things worked. The woman did this while the man was the bread-winner. There just weren't the options we have today, including childcare choices, career paths, and
equal opportunities. This was just how it was and, in the majority of cases, it was accepted. However, I am sure many of us would agree that these changes have been for the better. Today, as a parenting couple there are a lot more choices. Both parents can work and share the childcare or either parent can be the one to be in full-time work. The number of men choosing to, or having to, stay at home has increased in recent years. Surprisingly, the most recent statistics I could find, which are from Statistics New Zealand, date back to 2006, when there was a four per cent increase in the number of men looking after a child in their household compared to 2001. This was some eight years ago, so presumably the figure has risen steadily since then? In the suburb where I live, I know a good handful of men who are the one in the couple to be the stay-athome parent. On the whole, they enjoy it and are, of course, doing a great job. But, in some cases there have been challenges for them which a woman may not have had to face. For example, it has been harder for them to find a network of parents to meet up with on a regular basis â&#x20AC;&#x201C; they say with the majority of parents at playgroups and such like being female, somehow it is that bit harder to arrange a coffee or a play-date than it might be for a couple of mums to do the same thing (not that it is easy for all mums to do this). And just because there may be two stay-at-home-dads in a
playgroup, doesn't necessarily mean they are going to get on simply because they are the same gender. Nor does it mean their children will get on. It is understandable then, why such men, who work hard at being at home with the children and who take full responsibility for night wakings so their partner who works full-time can get some sleep, may take offence
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at such a cartoon. Similarly, men who work full-time but do their fair share of getting up the night/all the parenting responsibilities, may be a bit miffed by such an accusation. But, at the same time, isn't it important to see the humour? To recognise the fact that many things regarded as comedy and humour still hark back to those old gender stereotypes? Both sexes still have to face gender stereotypes. Going to a garage the other day to get a quote for my car, I was subject to the gender stereotype that women know nothing about cars and, apparently, aren't capable of reversing a car out of the garage. (I've only been driving for 20 years). But, instead of taking offence, I decided to raise an eyebrow, roll my eyes and find the situation mildly amusing. That isn't to say that sometimes when I witness gender stereotyping, I don't think 'oh, come on, times have changed, get over yourselves,' but hey, life is too short to take offence and get worked up over such trivial things (that's what parenting is for!)
facebook feedback Andrew: Wow, certainly didn’t expect this page to post such sweeping generalisations. Suppose now I’ll get called ‘precious’ by some for calling it offensive… Like · Reply · 2 September at 16:03 Anna: No way! Me and hubby take turns when our boy goes thro phases of waking (usually only when sick). Like · Reply · 2 September at 16:41 Fiona: The other way around in our household! Like · Reply · 2 September at 19:36 Dominic: That is so sexist and unfair! When my daughter was a baby it was often me who got up in the middle of the night, even though I had work the next morning as well as my partner! We shared the job! Like · Reply · 3 September at 17:12 Madelaine: Totally true here! Like · Reply · 2 September at 17:25 Natalie: So true! Wish I had a double some nights. Like · Reply · 2 September at 22:39
22 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years
And when dealing with parenting, retaining a sense of humour – or at least trying to – can sometimes help diffuse the most awkward or awful of situations. We all know it isn't easy, but when there are so many other things to concern yourself with as a parent, why get upset over a cartoon? And a cartoon that some men will relate to. Women, too. When I saw the cartoon, my instant response was similar to many others out there who commented on it. 'Yes, that's about right, just with the roles reversed'. In the first few weeks after my daughter's birth, my husband changed every single nappy – as I was breastfeeding, he saw this as one of the things he could do to share the responsibility. He took equal share in the care of looking after her. Six months down the line, when I was exhausted from a continuous lack of sleep and constant feeding, he would be the one to wake in the night to deal with our daughter's rumblings, grumblings and nappy needs, while I slept. It wasn't planned. I just didn't wake up. Despite his 12-hour working day, including a three-hour round commute, he was, if you like, the woman in the cartoon. I considered myself lucky. I didn't expect him to do this all the time, after all he was the one who was working. Shared responsibility of getting out of bed would have worked just fine (if I had woken up!) I knew friends whose partners were not so involved in sharing the responsibility of the night-time duty. I have a friend whose husband slept in a different room during the week so he could sleep, and another whose partner used ear-plugs (something they had both agreed to) so he could sleep and have enough energy for work. We all find our different ways of doing things and our ways to cope. In the end, parenting has to be about what works for you. So, to all the dads/male caregivers out there who are equally sharing the responsibility of raising your children or are a stay-at-home-dad, I would recommend to not sweat the small stuff (i.e. this cartoon). Shake off the sensitivity, have faith in yourselves, and look at the cartoon with a wry smile while remaining smug in the knowledge that you do your fair share. And maybe just taking a moment to remember that just as there are women out there who know nothing about cars and can't reverse for toffee, there are men out there who don't wake up in the night! �
Karen Shead Karen is a freelance writer based in Wellington. Originally from the UK, where she worked as a journalist for over ten years, Karen and her family moved to New Zealand a couple of years ago to experience life on the other side of the world!
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partnership Top tips during labour
(…yes, that’s you – partner, parent, grandparent, friend…)
Contribute to pregnancy and parenting education classes Around 30 –38 weeks, you’ll get lots of practical info like how baby’s developing, the birth process and breastfeeding. Check out www. parentscentre.org.nz or a District Health Board funded class in your area.
How do I know?
Back rub time
Good communication about the impending birth is key to playing an active role – learn some technical terms (like cervix, transition, perineum) so you’re not baffled by science on the day.
Once you’ve committed to support her, make sure you’re providing unwavering support, encouragement and practical help.
Have I got my car keys…? Does the hospital have parking arrangements? Do you have your cell phone (and charger)? Or money for the hospital pay phone. Who will look after the kids during labour? It’s worth planning ahead!
Is she in labour? If she starts to get considerable pain in her lower tummy, even it is not coming and going… talk to your midwife or LMC about when to call for labour support. They’ll often advise to try and stay put at home for the early stages of labour.
If she wants a back rub, use firm circular motions over the lower back, use the heel of the hand, add a little oil or talcum powder and you’ll be providing much needed relief during labour.
7 8 9 10 ial specer off
Visit The New Zealand Pregnancy Book online at www.nzpregnancybook.co.nz
Visit the ladies Encourage visits to the toilet at least every hour, and be a chaperone!
Try different positions in labour Encourage moving around as much as she can, helping her get into different positions – but don’t be surprised if she wants to change again.
Exhale… Breathing through the contractions with her as they get stronger will help slow the pace. Remember what you’ve both practised.
The website includes a searchable preview of the book, fantastic photos and feedback from the NZPB community, links to friends and Facebook and much more!
Encourage sipping a little water or sucking some ice between every contraction.
The New Zealand Pregnancy Book by Sue Pullon and Cheryl Benn, 2008, Bridget Williams Books, $49.99, is great source of information, covering every kind of topic for pregnant women, along with personal stories. Order online from www.parentscentre.org.nz Find out more at www.nzpregnancybook.co.nz
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surviving the silly season
Let go of the ways of doing Christmas that stress you out, and deliberately invent the Christmas style that will work for you.
Christmas is nearly here. The shops are already full of tinsel, decorations and Santas. If your blood pressure rises just thinking about it, or if celebrating over the festive season feels like a massive chore, now is the time to start planning the kind of holiday you can really appreciate. Try to spread the celebrations out; remember Christmas is a season, not just one day. It should be a time to appreciate one another, yet it is also a time when relationships can be put under enormous strain. People get tired and often drink more. We might end up spending time with people we generally try to avoid. Sometimes we say or do something we wouldn’t normally. It can be difficult to manage competing expectations from partners, friends and family at this time of year. You've got two basic strategies to help you cope at this time of year, and they work best if you employ them both. Let go of the ways of doing Christmas that stress you out, and deliberately invent the Christmas style that will work for you. So how do you go about this? If the way you did Christmas last year made you cross or tired or unhappy, that's a great reason to try something different this year. It is a good idea to manage everyone’s expectations. Let people know what you're interested in doing, and any limits you might be going to set. Keep your conversation focused on what you want to do rather than the opportunities you choose not to take. Work out some natural beginnings and endings for activities so that they are about enjoyment rather than endurance. Rest and relaxation are just as important as feasting and festivity. Make a point of celebrating the things that make a difference in your life. You might want to share memories or hopes with friends and family. This is an excellent opportunity to let them know how important they are to you. Christmas offers an occasion you can use to mark the experiences that bring you joy. Go to your celebrations with a clear idea of what you enjoy and value about everyone there. Make a point of letting people know what you like about them. Do it early on and give goodwill a chance to blossom. If someone doesn't like your idea of a joy-filled Christmas, or seems to be spoiling for an argument, take hold of your goodwill. It's supposed to be the spirit of Christmas after all. Just assume you both have amiable intentions and decide it really doesn't matter if you don't agree. This is one occasion when you don't need to convince each other. Christmas is a great opportunity to give priority to principles about togetherness and acceptance. If you feel like your choices are either fighting or biting your tongue, you might try taking a deep breath and toasting the rich diversity amongst you. Acknowledging and even celebrating difference has a way of bringing people together.
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Christmas survival checklist
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Make time to relax with those you love.
Christmas is a season, not just one day. Spread the celebrations out. Ask for help. Offer help. Share the load.
Try and put longstanding disagreements aside and enjoy yourselves. If things get tense, take a deep breath, change the subject or walk away. Steer clear of disagreements when you drink. Use a little self-control so you don't say or do something hurtful. Make it fun for the kids, and it will be easier for you. Lighten the financial pressure. Set a dollar limit for gifts and food. Take time out as well as time off, allow some time just for you.
Expect to deal with some tension at Christmas. If you've planned a calm response to use when things come unstuck, it will help to take the heat out of the situation. Your attitude can make a difference to how much people around you enjoy their Christmas. Try these: a generous, co-operative mood; calming yourself down if you feel irritated; opting for the appreciative comment over the critical one. Remember that everyone is different. You don't have to agree about everything to have a good time. You could discuss your differences amiably or you could just acknowledge that you have different ideas and ask a question about something else. If it's important to have a difficult conversation, pick your time. Do it when both of you are fresh, relaxed and sober. Don't involve children and bystanders. There can be a lot of work behind a Christmas celebration. Take some pressure off by sharing the work and expenses around. Ask for help. People enjoy contributing, it makes them feel they belong. Sometimes people feel sad at Christmas. Maybe you're missing people who aren't there. Maybe you feel a bit lonely or disappointed at where you are in your life at the moment. Talking about it might help.
28 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years
If there are lots of family who want to spend some time with your children it may be better to spread events out over several weeks rather than try to squeeze them all into one day. How do you manage Christmas when you’ve separated? One of the tough things about separation is that you don’t just do it once and then get on with life-asnormal. You have to reinvent whole aspects of your life. And part of the new way of doing things includes how you handle family occasions like Christmas. If this is your first Christmas apart and you haven’t already agreed on plans for your separated family – do it now. Your first Christmas apart can sometimes be hard to contemplate. It brings home how much things have changed. Even if the change is good, it often feels strange and tiring and maybe a little lonely. The longer you leave it, the harder it gets. Expectations build. Yours, your ex-partner’s, the kids’; and then there’s all the friends and relations who hope to figure in your plans as well. The sooner you both start talking and planning, the more flexibility is likely to be possible. There is no one right way to manage special occasions in a separated family. But there are some guidelines that might help you reach agreement about what will suit your family.
Parents make the decisions Parents make the decisions about the arrangements, not the kids. If you put the decision in the kids’ hands, you effectively ask them to choose between you. For most kids that will feel awful, not festive. You can consult them about things like the timing of visits, and which visits come first – just make sure it’s clear that the parents are doing the deciding. Let the kids know what the plans are in advance rather than at the last minute. It gives them a chance to get used to what ever you have planned rather than getting high expectations about something else. As with any family, you need to take some account of the plans that kids want to make for their own lives. They may have particular activities that are important to them or friends they want to see. Individual
planning gets more significant as they get older. There is a limit to the number of Christmas dinners and visits that you will all enjoy in one day, or even one week. If there are lots of family who want to spend some time with your children it may be better to spread events out over several weeks rather than try to squeeze them all into one day. Sometimes it’s best not to see everyone every year. If either of you has a new partner, be cautious about including them in your kids’ Christmas. Especially in the first year with their parents apart kids are likely to find new partners unsettling, and maybe even quite distressing. Your kids may feel that being accepting to a new partner is disloyal to their other parent. Those feelings won’t make for a Merry Christmas for anyone.
rather than to compete with your children’s other parent. If it’s not practical for you to co-operate about presents, meals, activities and holidays at least be sure that you don’t compete. That will only make your kids feel awkward. Remember, if your usual Christmas feels overwhelming, design a festival to suit you. If you like the plan for the day, then maybe you won't spend the whole of December wishing it was over. �
If it all gets overwhelming, ask for help Relationships Aotearoa on 0800 735 283 www.relationshipsaotearoa.org.nz Lifeline on 0800 111 777 Youthline on 0800 376 633.
Cary Hayward Make it a celebration not a competition Children need to feel free to love both their parents, and both sides of their family. Make sure your plans help them to do this. Look for ways to co-operate
Cary Hayward is the National Practice Manager for Relationships Aotearoa. He has a passion for supporting parents to have great relationships with each other and with their children.
For Outstanding Childcare that Parents
You can count on Kindercare From birth, your growing, developing, learning and amazingly capable child is on a journey. When you can’t be there for each step they take - that’s where we can help you. • Respectful care that’s responsive to your child • Foundation skills program for babies through to preschool • Unhurried interactions to build strong, loving attachments • Home-cooked meals; active outdoor time; calm rest periods • Fostering your child’s curiosity and interest so learning is fun • Specialised baby care program and environment • Safe environments, with predictable routines
Safe Loved earning www.kindercare.co.nz L
When you’re looking for more than childcare, you’ll find a family at Kindercare. Come in and visit, or call us today for more information.
BABIES • TODDLERS • PRESCHOOLERS
Phone: 0508 546 3372
Safe Loved Learning
What I love even more than new mums coming to our meetings are expectant ones. Some are pregnant with their first baby while for others it’s the second time round. Whatever way, they’ve made the decision to come and find out what La Leche League is about before the baby is born. Which puts them in a good position because knowledge is power! And all can expect to receive help and information prior to the impending birth. I clearly remember one expectant mum who meekly sat down asking ‘Is it ok to come without a baby?’ Bless her. She said she felt a little silly coming to a breastfeeding support group without one. She’d had a dreadful time with her first-born and had been unable to breastfeed him. “This time I want it to be different. So I thought I’d come here,” she said shyly. My heart went out to her when I witnessed her sorrow at not establishing breastfeeding with her son who’d been born by emergency caesarean. “It was so hard and I didn’t have any support,” she said through her tears. I’m proud to say that that mum came regularly to our meetings to watch and listen and learn from other mums. And when her time came, she was armed with no small amount of knowledge and a few skills which led her and her daughter (also born by caesarean) on a very different, much happier path the second time round. You might be surprised to know that many La Le League members and Leaders tell similar stories. Indeed many of the women who founded this mother-to-mother support organisation fed their babies formula for a wide variety of reasons. But, like my group mum, they realised that, with support, they could have a totally different experience and realise their breastfeeding goals, with subsequent babies. The beauty of coming along to a breastfeeding support group during your pregnancy is that you get to see breastfeeding in action, and let’s
face it, some new mums have never really been exposed to breastfeeding before (pardon the pun). On top of that you will see for yourself that breastfeeding mums come from all walks of life. You will hear their stories of success and become aware of some problems and many solutions to be found at a La Leche League meeting. You will also meet the mums who will be there to support you when your baby arrives. And that means you’ll know exactly who to call if any difficulties arise.
Beating barriers There are many barriers to breastfeeding in a culture where breastfeeding is not the norm: fear of breastfeeding in public, lack of confidence, concern about low milk supply, tiredness, pain, perceived loss of freedom, past or current abuse to name a few. There are societal pressures too; media images of bottle feeding as the norm, access to free artificial baby milk, lack of positive role models, the sexualisation of breasts, too few workplaces with enough support for breastfeeding. And there are cultural barriers too including drug use, and a very real desire to resume drinking alcohol. By far the main barrier to successful breastfeeding is lack of adequate support. But it is important to note that supporting and promoting breastfeeding is not tantamount to judging those who, for whatever reason, do not breastfeed. It is necessary to repeat this message because our society has created a climate in which it is fashionable to pit mother against mother, parent against parent with these disturbing media-fuelled mummy wars. It is a worrying trend which we must counter with acceptance; all women deserve to be supported in their parenting choices. After all, we are all trying to do our best for our children. That said, I believe we do not have a breastfeeding culture here because we do not see breastfeeding enough, we do not protect it enough or support it enough. And support is what can REALLY make a difference.
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A study of new mums in Pennsylvania concluded that breastfeeding support needs to start long before birth:
“To overcome obstacles, issues surrounding perceived barriers such as father’s attitude, quantity of milk, and time constraints, need to be discussed with each parent. Extensive education regarding the benefits must be provided for both parents and optimally the grandmother by physicians, nurses, and the media before pregnancy or within the first trimester.” Many, if not most, barriers can be overcome with support. Most women can reach their breastfeeding goals with support. And support comes in many guises. It might be your partner rubbing your shoulders and making sure your water bottle is never empty or being the one who baths your baby every night. It could be Grandma making meals and telling you what a wonderful job you are doing instead of telling you how she did it in her day. It might be a Parents Centre childbirth educator putting you in touch with a local La Leche League Leader who can help with your baby’s latch or support you to boost your milk supply. It could be the woman sitting next to you at a coffee group; mothers listening to mothers, sharing experiences, supporting each other. Motherto-mother support provides encouragement in its most enduring form. Check out our new website for details of where to find your nearest group: www.lalecheleague.org.nz �
Lisa Manning is a former TV journalist and presenter. She is married to the British actor John RhysDavies with whom she has an eight-year-old daughter Maia. Lisa is an at-home mum and La Leche League Leader in Pukekohe.
32 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years
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the great Kiwi road trip
Safer journeys this holiday season We all have different ways to spend our Kiwi holidays. We’re excited because it’s a time to relax and spend time with family, and for many of us that means packing up the kids in the car and hitting the road for a trip away. So before you decide which book you’ll read, or check what the weather will be like when you get there, remember your trip starts with some important planning before you even leave the house.
Distracted drivers are unsafe drivers, and our little ones are great at wanting our attention while we’re driving. Make sure you’ve got plenty of activities on hand to keep them occupied, so you can keep your eyes on the road.
Before you travel It's important that your vehicle is in tip-top condition: Give it a TWIRL before you head away. This includes checking Tyres, Windscreen, wipers and mirrors, Indicators, Rust and Lights. If you notice anything wrong, take it to an expert. Check out the video at www.nzta.govt.nz/checkyourcar for how to do a TWIRL.
Here are some top tips to help you keep your cool when driving during the holiday period, and ensure you and the family have a safe and enjoyable journey this summer.
Check your trailers and caravans
Plan, plan, plan
Check all towing attachments and make sure the couplings are compatible. Also remember to check the safety chain, trailer lights, tyres and brakes.
Take a little time to make sure that your vehicle’s safe before hitting the road. Plan to avoid the worst peak traffic periods – if you’re travelling before Christmas, head away before lunchtime to avoid motorway congestion. Your trip may take longer than you expect, so relax and make the journey part of the family holiday. Check out the Automobile Association’s helpful travel distance calculator at www.aatravel.co.nz/main/timedistance-calculator for accurate travel times. Get a good night’s sleep (at least 8 hours), and schedule regular rest stops every 2 hours and share the driving where possible.
34 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years
Remember, if you’re towing a trailer, your maximum speed limit on the open road is 90km/h. Keep left and pull over when it’s safe to let other vehicles pass. Load heavy objects evenly over all of the axles.
Be alert to changes on the road Often during holiday periods, passing lanes are closed to help reduce congestion and prevent further delays where the traffic merges at the end of lanes. Sometimes alternative routes are suggested. Check out www.nzta.govt.nz/traffic/current-conditions/highwayinfo for real time updates about route changes, delays, closures and incidents.
CHECK YOUR CAR It doesn’t take long to give your car a quick safety check. Just give it a regular TWIRL and take it to an expert if you think anything’s wrong.
TYRES • Check the tread depth. Minimum legal depth is 1.5mm but the more tread you have the safer you’ll be. • Check the tyre pressure. • Look for cracks or bubbles in the sides. • Look for sharp objects stuck in them.
WINDSCREEN, WIPERS AND MIRRORS • Check your wiper blades for wear and tear. • Clean your mirrors and windscreen inside and out. • Get your windscreen fixed if it’s chipped or cracked. • Check your windscreen washer fluid is full and the spray works.
INDICATORS • Check all your indicators work.
RUST • Look for corrosion that could weaken the car’s structure.
LIGHTS • Check lenses are clean and clear. • Check your headlights, reversing lights and brake lights work.
Have your car serviced and make sure your warrant of fitness is current. Police will be carrying out regular roadside checks to make sure cars are roadworthy. Go to www.nzta.govt.nz/checkyourcar for more information.
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Safety belts are a must Remember if you’re in the driving seat these holidays, it’s your job to make sure everyone wears a safety belt for the ride – it’s the law. Our children are our greatest treasure, and extra care needs to be taken to keep them safe. All passengers need to either wear a safety belt or approved child restraint. Here’s a handy booster seat checklist you can give your little one to remember each time they buckle up on the journey:
I sit in my booster and reach for my belt.
I make my belt CLICK.
I check my belt is on my shoulder.
My belt is touching my thighs and sits firmly against me.
For your little ones seven and under, they must be properly restrained by an approved child restraint suitable to their size and weight. Not sure on their age and size? Best practice recommends children stay in a restraint or booster seat til they’re 148cm tall. Visit www.nzta.govt.nz/childrestraints to find out more on child restraints and safety belts.
36 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years
If you’re planning to head away these holidays with young children, be sure to check this handy checklist to make sure your infant restraint is fitted correctly to keep them safe.
Rear-facing infant restraints
Forward-facing child restraints
When you fit a rear-facing infant restraint in your vehicle:
When you fit a forward-facing restraint in a vehicle:
• Always carefully follow the manufacturer’s instructions.
• Always carefully follow the manufacturer’s instructions.
• Always install a baby’s infant restraint so the baby is facing the rear of the car.
• The back seat is the safest place for the child restraint.
• Rear-facing infant restraints should never be placed in the front seat if there is an active front airbag. • Check your child’s restraint fits firmly against the seat and cannot wobble; if your restraint does not fit firmly, seek advice from a registered Child Restraint Technician.
When you put your baby in a rear-facing infant restraint:
• Check your child’s restraint fits firmly against the seat and cannot wobble; if your restraint does not fit firmly, seek advice from a registered Child Restraint Technician. • If your child restraint comes with a tether strap, it must be used according to the manufacturer’s instructions. • If your vehicle doesn’t have an anchor point for the tether strap to be attached to, have one fitted into your car by a qualified mechanic.
• If there is a chest clip, make sure the clip sits at the baby’s armpit level.
When you put your child in a forward-facing child restraint:
• The harness must fit snugly against your baby and go over the baby’s shoulders.
• The harness must fit snugly and comfortably against your child.
• Blankets must be put over the baby only after the baby is firmly secured into the harness.
• The shoulder harness must always go over the shoulders and be moved up as your child grows.
• Babies are better protected travelling in a rear-facing restraint until they are at least two years old.
• Check the manufacturer’s instructions for the correct harness shoulder height.
• Babies have outgrown their infant restraint when they are over the restraint manufacturer’s recommended weight or height restrictions.
• If there is a chest clip, make sure it is sitting at the level of your child’s armpits.
For more information
• Children have outgrown their restraint when they are over the manufacturer’s recommended weight or height restrictions for that model of forward-facing child restraint.
Many retailers and other organisations have NZQA certified Child Restraint Technicians who can provide you with advice and assistance. To find out more on how to safely use child restraints, you can visit the following websites:
NZ Transport Agency – www.nzta.govt.nz/childrestraints (you can also find a list of qualified technicians in your area). Plunket – www.plunket.org.nz
Keep your cool Holiday driving can be frustrating with busy roads, slower sightseeing travellers, and stifling heat in summer. Here are some simple and easy ways to stay calm and stay in control: Be courteous – let others merge into traffic and indicate before turning or changing lanes. Keep left unless passing.
Remember that trucks and towing vehicles have lower speed limits. Wait for a passing lane or until you can see clear road ahead of you and enough space to overtake safely. Keep an eye out for cyclists and other road users. Give them plenty of space. Keep an eye out for children, who are unpredictable. Watch out for horses on back country roads. �
If you’re a slower driver, pull over when you can to let others pass.
Are we there yet?
exciting and rewarding for the whole family.
It's a question every adult who steps into a car with a child should be prepared to hear. Here’s the good news, a little prep work ahead of time will help to keep the kids occupied, happy and (relatively) quiet in the back seat. Why not try one of the following ideas.
On-board kid navigation – kids tend to complain about things that are forced on them, but if you get your children interested in your trip ahead of time, it should lessen the likelihood that they'll sabotage your best laid plans. So block out a few hours each day, and hand them over to the kids.
The travelling journalist – capturing holiday memories are a great idea, but few parents have time to create photo albums and scrapbooks. So why not get the kids to document the holiday. Give each child responsibilities, like one being in charge of taking photos, another to record what you did each day in a journal. Another child can collect souvenirs from your travels, e.g. shells from the beach, ice block wrappers from a favourite stop, a feather found on the ground of a wildlife sanctuary. The best thing is it won’t cost you the earth! Just remember to pack the family camera, some paper, felt pens and crayons, glue sticks and sellotape. Each night before bed, the kids can work together to create some pages that capture the day's activities. Then when you're home, you can set aside some family time to look through their special holiday album. Toys work wonders – kids love toys, whether they're traditional items like a puzzle or a doll, or a favourite book or electronic gadget. Within reason, stash as many of these things in the car as you can. And get creative. Handheld games are a great way to keep kids occupied while you're driving, but a cricket set or soccer ball works wonders during those regular pit stops, plus it gives the kids a fun activity to look forward to. Reward good behaviour – if the car trip isn’t going well, why not give your children an incentive to adjust their unwanted behaviour. No complaining for the next hour gets them a stop for ice cream, or picking where to eat for lunch that day. Use this strategy in reverse, too. For example, kicking the back of Dad's seat after being told to stop repeatedly means no stop at the attraction they want to visit. The journey’s half the fun – it's so easy to just miss that extra rest stop, especially if there are time pressures to be somewhere at a certain time. But if you have to drive for long stretches, it's important to schedule in some fun. If you're driving through a small town and the kids spy a cool neighbourhood park, stop for a bit so they can play. And don't limit stops to things the kids want to do. If Mum wants to check out a boutique shop or Dad wants a picture of himself with the local landmark, do it. Unplanned stops make the day's drive much more
38 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years
For younger children, a few hours work fine. Let them dictate where you stop and for how long. Maybe one stop will be to see a roadside attraction, another to get a milkshake at a dairy. Older kids could map out an entire day, planning all the stops and activities. Pit stop – many people just want to reach their destination for the day, stopping only when necessary for petrol or bathroom breaks. That may be fine for adults, but it generally makes for unhappy, fidgety little ones. At a minimum, stop every two to three hours so everyone can get out and stretch. It also helps to let your kids run around a bit, especially if they're younger. Not only will it burn off some energy they've been accumulating in their seats, but it might tire them out enough so they'll nap when you're back on the road. Fill those tummies – no one likes a growling stomach, especially kids on a long car ride. So for starters, time your meals carefully. If you hit the road at 6am, don't wait until noon before you stop for lunch. Even adults would be cranky faced with that scenario. Have plenty of healthy snacks and drinks on hand for the hours in between. There are loads of inexpensive options like water, low-sugar juice, cut up veggies and hummus, fresh fruit, cheese, yogurt and nuts. An occasional cookie, piece of candy or scoop of ice cream is fine, but in general, stick with the healthy stuff to avoid those sugar rushes.
Parents Centre Supporting parents through the early years because great parents grow great children. Support networks and advice through Parents Centres.
In this section Focus on heartland New Zealand; Progressive Palmerston North Volunteering and career opportunities – Kimberley Black Major project updates
Parents Centres are renowned for their parent education programmes. What is not so well-known are the huge
Spotlight on ‘Moving and Munching’
range of support networks and advice available to parents. One of the most important sources of support can be your
original antenatal group. These often stay together and form ‘coffee groups’ – better described as ‘counselling groups’ at times! We all go through enormous life adjustments with the birth of our first babies and the support and advice from other parents can be invaluable. Time and again we hear that these support networks have
Go to www.parentscentre.org.nz today to contact your local Centre and to find out more about support and volunteering opportunities offered in your area.
been a ‘life saver’ for many parents at what is a time of huge adjustment and uncertainty. These groups of parents
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Focus on heartland New Zealand – Progressive Palmerston North
Palmerston North Parents Centre is on a winning streak, having focused on improving their programmes and speakers and appealing more to the wider community as the local ‘go to’ hub for parents, rather than just for babies. Centre President Jess Howard is proud of her Centre’s achievements and the local relationships they have established, particularly with Barnardos. “We have a great relationship with our local Barnardos; it was easy to partner with them as their values align closely with our own (we didn’t want to partner with a business simply Jess Howard intent on making a profit from our members).” As a result of this partnership, the Centre has had support to deliver 15 planned antenatal and postnatal seminars, developed and implemented a new parenting programme for the community, had support in bringing a highly regarded speaker – Robin Grille – to New Zealand for a major parenting event and also had the financial support required to develop their new website.
40 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years
The committee has also grown significantly over the past couple of years and is now very big – with over 30 members! So how did this happen? Jess laughs, “Well, I can’t pinpoint one specific thing but the biggest difference I think has come about from the huge effort we have made building local awareness of what we do. We started with an article in Palmy Parent detailing who we are and what we do, and we started running major parenting events – first Rachel Goodchild (180 attendees) then Genevieve Simperingham (around 80 attendees). We gained massive publicity around both of these events, on community radio and on Facebook, really utilising social media and, of course, word of mouth. We have put in a huge amount of effort into building awareness around who we are and what we do, with a particular emphasis on making our marketing material look really professional and getting very particular about who we use as presenters and the messages that they are getting across.” Because of this really strong focus on strengthening their brand locally, the Centre has found that people are eager to join them, both as members and on their committee. “Our Facebook page has jumped up to 730 likes and our mailchimp database has grown to a couple of thousand so we are able to make contact with previous members as well as current ones. We have found that by keeping parents informed they want to stay in touch and to come to our events.” “For our latest recruitment drive we simply put up a post on Facebook and within an hour we had 14 people
contact us wanting to be involved on our committee – incredibly 5 of those 14 had never even been Parents Centre members!” Jess believes that the parenting seminars have had a big impact creating interest in the Centre. “We’ve branched out and got some really interesting speakers in with huge credibility, people appreciate that what we are doing and know that the services we provide are of top quality.” “We have tried to create this environment where we are the go-to place for all parents. Robyn Mason (Vice President) and I have been really wanting to change the perception that we are ‘the baby centre’ to being ‘the parents centre’ – for all parents, supporting them through their journey of parenting, particularly during the preschool years.” “Our membership renewals are higher and we are also getting support in other ways, such as having a stronger presence in the community and with our alumni (exmembers). People are still willing to pay money to come to quality events and, while they might not be a member, they will come to see several top presenters or come to other parenting-related events, so they are supporting us in other ways and getting benefits from it too.”
The value of excellence The Centre has a good relationship with their local midwives and most of their antenatal class participants are referred by midwives. This is testament to the quality of their classes, as there are two other fully-funded District Health Board antenatal class models in Palmerston North. Jess believes that the Parents Centre ones are very highly regarded. “The midwives know the value of paying for our excellent classes. We really emphasise the social side of things and the support of other parents and we make it happen – for example through private Facebook groups and the sharing of extra resources and discussion around this.” As part of a series of antenatal classes the Centre also offers an extra weekend session called ‘Practical Parenting’. “An authorised car seat technician from Plunket gives a car seat demonstration and talks about safety and installation, we have someone from our local babywearing group come and talk about the benefits of babywearing and demonstrate different types of carriers and how to wear them correctly and safely. We have parents of a recent newborn baby come to along to demonstrate bathing and dressing their baby, and give our class participants the opportunity to ask them questions about the first 8 weeks or so. We discuss settling techniques, teaching parents how to swaddle, change a nappy, burp and wind their baby, and talk to them about responsive parenting, especially in those early months. It’s practical and hands on and the parents absolutely love it as an extra session.”
Some of the current committee at Palmerston North Parents Centre
funders (including Eastern and Central Community Trust, United Way and Pub Charity) enabling them to keep offering and growing their services to the community. They have also run a number of successful fundraisers, including a Poker Night, raising over $2,000 from the event, and a ‘Preggy to Preschool Garage Sale’. Jess says that all 46 sites were sold out and “after an extremely crazy 4 hours of bargains galore, $1700 was raised for our Centre!” Palmerston North is a Centre with a huge buzz and one which is consistently looking to its community to see what their needs are. This has been key to their success. Their achievements over the past couple of years have been many but ask Jess what the best bit about this busy Centre is and she doesn’t hesitate to say, “It’s the social aspect of that is so great! Our committee is really close and have great support and friendships. We put together our magazine packs (including our Centre’s fantastic revamped magazine the Palmy Parent) over a glass of wine, cuppa and food, lots of chat and kids chaos! Our sub-committees often get together at someone’s house, with kids going outside to play, which means we get things done with a lot of fun along the way. We do a lot together and we support each other. Our committee constantly astounds me with their awesomeness. They are such a capable, motivated group of women, I love them to bits!”
Over the course of 2014 the Centre has also received over $23,000 worth of grants from various community The current Palmerston North Parents Centre rooms
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Volunteering and career opportunities
Parents Centres New Zealand Board member Kimberley Black chats to Eleanor Cater about her volunteer roles in Parents Centre, and how they led her to her governance role, as well as excellent career opportunities. Board member Kim Black’s Parents Centre experience started when her first child was three months old. She joined Upper Hutt Parents Centre as Assistant Treasurer, the following year taking over as Treasurer. She carried out this role for around three years until her second child was born, took a break for a while and then came back onto the committee as fundraising coordinator. Kimberley Black Two years later she was appointed as a national Board member with the national body Parents Centres New Zealand.
42 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years
Kim is certain that her wide ranging experience at her Centre contributed to her Board appointment. As well as Treasurer and fundraising roles during her time on the committee she also completed grant applications and accountability, wrote articles for the Wellington magazine The Sandbox, convened childbirth and parent education classes, helped to organise fundraising events and facilitated the sleep session of the Baby and You programme. She believes it was also was her Parents Centre experience which was a big factor in her landing a later job with Plunket. “When I saw the role of Finance and Treasury Coordinator for our local area being advertised I knew it was my dream role with, first and foremost, hours that suit my children, a family friendly employer and a job that allows me to use my business degree while continuing to work in the non-profit sector and feel like I'm making a positive difference.” The role involves looking after the finances of the area society as well as supporting treasurers for around 30 local committees, including toy libraries, playgroups crèches. “I work closely with our community services team, but more importantly I work every day with Plunket volunteers.” “My experience in grants and accountability, preparing financial reports and budgets were all key things that led
to me being accepted for the role, and all skills I gained at Parents Centre! The crucial skill that set me apart from other applicants and helps me every day in my job is an understanding of what it is like to be a volunteer, a busy parent, a working mum.” During the job interview with Plunket Kim says she was quizzed about her experiences working with volunteers. “Of course I had lots of examples to draw on from my time with Parents Centre. Meetings might be in a volunteer’s home and worked around baby's sleep time, or in my office with small children underfoot. A mother breastfeeds while I teach her how to use Xero, little ones squash grapes into the carpet and there are always toys on hand for little visitors. Things take longer when you have children around, people need help carrying bags and files to the car, meetings are postponed because someone's child is sick and nothing can happen in the school holidays. And all of this is fine because I get it – before I came to work today I was wiping up weetbix, dressing children and carrying lots of bags to the car too!” Kim had had no experience in a paid financial management position before she started the job. “I finished my business degree when my eldest was two. So I was a risky choice and they asked me back for a second interview to test my finance skills a bit more. But what I did bring to the table was strong experience
in volunteering, charities, treasurer roles, governance, funding and fundraising. Experience like that is not found at university!” “My time with Parents Centre has also lead to the most wonderful friendships, from my antenatal coffee group as well as other mums I met during my time on committee and from the wider Parents Centre community. We meet for family activities, trips to the park and pool in summer, fish and chip nights, bbqs, but we also find time to meet for some mums' time out and have a wine and dinner. There have been trips away and spa days to keep us sane. We have been friends through new babies, new jobs, children starting school and all the important milestones in between, and we have supported each other through the harder times, miscarriages, postnatal depression, and illness. My life since becoming part of Parents Centre is very full.” What would Kim say to others who are considering volunteering for Parents Centre? “I would love for more volunteers to realise that their work for Parents Centre can lead to real career opportunities. Volunteers can gain skills in admin, finance, leadership, running meetings, property management, facilitation, event management, project management, fundraising, social media and so much more. Put your hand up and try something new, you never know where it may take you."
Parents Centre - major project updates New project team forges ahead Could this be your dream job? We held the inaugural meeting of the new project team at the end of September. Gina Quartermaine, a volunteer from Wellington North has taken up the challenge of being the Team Leader and she and I will work closely to support and guide where necessary. Other team members include two senior volunteers, Debbie Kell from Ashburton and Kylie Johnston from Auckland. Liz Pearce, our Childbirth Education Manager is also on this team and Miranda Welch is our Project Advisor. Parents Centres CEO, Viv Gurrey and Finance and Administration Manager, Vivienne Lowe, will also be involved with all national projects. We are enthusiastic about the project structure and the method used to define the project plan which includes considering the project purpose, identifying our objectives and then defining deliverables. Ensuring we have the right process in place for working with a project plan is imperative to the success of implementing all projects within the organisation.
We believe volunteer involvement is essential to ensure Parents Centres includes and maintains the volunteer’s voice. Ideally, we would like to have another volunteer on the team, perhaps from one of the smaller Centres. So, if you are interested in working with a dynamic group and would like to contribute, then please let me know. It is not essential to be an experienced project worker, but it is important is that you enjoy working within a team and have a real interest in contributing as a volunteer to an essential part of Parents Centres strategic direction. This is a wonderful opportunity for a Centre volunteer to bring a valuable contribution to the table. We have plenty to achieve and we are committed to making steady progress. The team is looking forward to more networking and developing a robust project plan which will steer us in the right direction for implementing a thorough and meaningful Gap Analysis.
Joan Hay, Manager Capability and Development email@example.com
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Each edition of Kiwiparent profiles one of Parents Centre’s renowned parent education programmes.
Spotlight on 'Moving and Munching' – 6 –12 months “Your baby’s emerging exploration of the environment and discovery of first foods”
Encouraging the development of your baby’s fine and gross motor skills by identifying age-appropriate play and toys
It’s an exciting time. Your baby is moving on; discovering first foods and becoming more active, and already (or soon to be) making those first attempts at crawling.
Identifying areas of language, intellectual and social development that helps to stimulate your baby’s learning.
As a new parent it can be difficult to know how to go about introducing solid foods and what issues you need to be aware of now that your baby is on the move! The ‘Munching’ focus of this programme explores: When and how to start to introduce solids into your baby’s diet How to continue to include milk in your baby’s diet Exploring the need for changes in textures, tastes and the quantity of solids over time Ways to encourage your baby to develop healthy attitudes to food. The ‘Moving’ focus of this programme explores: Identifying areas of your home environment that might need safety-proofing now that your baby’s mobility and manipulative skills are developing
44 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years
Development milestones vary widely from child to child. This programme includes information on physical, cognitive (or intellectual), language and social (emotional) development. It stresses that no baby can be compared to another when it comes to development – they are all unique and all reach development milestones at different times. Throughout the programme you will hear from a variety of expert guest speakers, all of whom are familiar and experienced with the changes your baby is going through in this 6–12 month age group. Speakers may include a dietician or nutritionist, a paediatric or Plunket nurse, a paediatrician or an infant feeding advisor. Developmentally the ‘Moving and Munching’ 6–12 month old stage is a fascinating one, and parents who are armed with the right information will enjoy it all the more. To enquire when this programme will be running at a Centre near you go to: www.parentscentre.org.nz
PARENTS CENTRE’S NEWS n Facilitation training, Christchurch - 30 volunteers joined together with Joan Hay and Debbie Kell in Christchurch in October to participate in a weekend of training which focused on ‘volunteer magnetism’ and ‘communication’. Joan Hay, Manager, Capability and Development said, “It was a great weekend of sharing together, interacting with volunteers across 15 Centres and taking home some useful tips to put into practice.” Feedback from the sessions were glowing with one volunteer saying, “Exceptionally good weekend, very valuable, both personally and in relation to me and my current role within my Centre. The interactive sessions were superstar! Interacting with the other Centres was invaluable and motivating and we concluded that as a Centre we don’t need to re-create any wheels. Lots and lots of stuff I’m busting to discuss and implement – thank you!”
prizes and items for goodie bags which were given out to each person that walked through the door.”
Timaru Parents Centre president Justine Carson-Iles and Timaru Mayor Damon Odey cut the ribbon, officially opening the new Parents Centre rooms at 38 Stafford St.
n Mana Parents Centre had around 30 families turn up
Facilitation training in Christchurch, October 2014
n Rotorua Parents Centre recently turned 40 and marked this event by donating 40 gifts to those who significantly contribute to the local child and maternal health community, including maternity, perinatal and maternity units at Rotorua Hospital. From now on the parent’s room in the children's unit will be stocked with coffee mugs for parents to be able to make themselves a cuppa, the birthing rooms have clocks, and SCBU have a new baby, bath and the Centre also threw a thank you morning tea for all midwives at the hospital.
for their 55th Anniversary celebrations held in October. They had put on an array of morning tea treats, a bouncy castle and gym equipment for the children to enjoy. The Centre was presented with a giant cheque for the $936 they raised from sales of Entertainment Books. Their current President, Sonja Dreyer, and one of their founding members, Mrs Barbara Mountier, cut the anniversary cake.
Mana Parents Centre current committee with their giant cheque
n Dunedin Parents Centre celebrated their 50th anniversary recently, holding a gala night and family fun day to celebrate. They had invited past committee members who talked about the changes they had helped to bring about in the way childbirth and children were raised in New Zealand, many of these changes remaining very relevant today. Jenny Drew (the 1967 Secretary of Dunedin Parents Centre) presented the committee with a book as a gift: The Sources of Love and Fear by Dr. Maurice Bevan-Brown, who had helped to inspire the philosophies on which Parents Centres New Zealand was founded back in 1952.
n West Auckland Parents Centre held their second Nearly New Sale in October at the Kelston Community Centre in Glendene. The event is a fundraiser to ensure that the Centre can continue supporting local families. For just $20 tables were on offer for parents to sell their no longer needed children's items. There was also a stationery stall and other baby gear for sale, a cake stall and a major raffle of a play house. The Glendene Playcentre set up a children's corner to entertain the kids while their parents browsed. It was reported to be a hugely successful and profitable day for the Centre.
n More than 50 families turned up to celebrate the opening of Timaru Parents Centre’s new rooms at 38 Stafford Street, enjoying a wide range of activities including music and movement, a continuous afternoon tea and face painting and crafts. President Justine Carson-Iles said, “Committee members have worked extremely hard cleaning, painting, tidying and recycling unwanted items for the opening of the new rooms. Timaru businesses have been very generous too, donating many wonderful spot
Jess Maher Williamson from West Auckland Parents Centre managing the cake sale at their second hand ‘Nearly New Sale.’
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competition winners Category 1 Pregnancy and birth GeneviĂ¨ve Rousseau Cung, Wellington Prize package worth $397.93 www.philips.co.nz/AVENT
Category 2 Touch perfect Karen Wilson, Mosgiel Photo is of Olivia Wallace and Cruz Prize package worth $100 www.bio-oil.com
46 kiwiparent â&#x20AC;&#x201C; supporting kiwi parents through the early years
Category 3 Hooray for play! Katharina Schiebold, Wellington Prize package worth $400 www.babyfactory.co.nz
Category 7 Colour crazy kids Gemma Turner, Napier Photo: This is our son Jackson Looking just like a pumpkin! Colorful indeed! Prize worth $299 www.phil&teds.com
Category 5 Sweet dreams Richard Mclachlan, Auckland Prize package worth $470 www.sleepstore.co.nz
Category 6 Better together Shelley Smith, Waimate, Photo: My son Harrison and his idol (Dad) He gets to go out with dad every day, the biggest bonus about our farming lifestyle and such awesome bonding time! Prize package worth $400 www.huggies.co.nz
See over for
Category 4 Water baby subscribe online at www.kiwiparent.co.nz â&#x20AC;&#x201C;
Category 4 Water baby Each prize worth $41.51 www.babycenter.co.nz/johnsonsbaby
1. Elizabeth Patterson-Green, Blenheim
6. Shelley Smith, Waimate
2. Gemma Turner, Napier
7. Suzanne Kinnaird, Dunedin
3. Shelley Nelson, Invercargill
8. Hillary Simmons
4. Sarah Turnbull, Taupo
9. Chris Dreyer, Whitby
5. Lucy Jackson, Nelson
10. Richard Mclachlan, Auckland
48 kiwiparent â&#x20AC;&#x201C; supporting kiwi parents through the early years
A few words from the judges Congratulations to all our winners and our thanks to all Kiwiparent readers who submitted photos to the 2014 Photo Competition! It was no easy task choosing winners from such an amazing selection. There were some great entries and it has been a pleasure to judge the competition this year. It was lovely to see how much creativity is out there and fantastic to see the range of photos submitted for each category. If you're thinking of entering next year, why not take advantage of the summer weather and start taking photos over the holiday season, here are some tips to help you take a winning photo. Happy child = better shots! Make sure your child feels safe and relaxed. We take our time, keep our studio calm and warm and give children the space they need to be fed and settled before starting our portrait sessions. When children and their parents feel calm, they relax into the shoot and enjoy themselves. This is especially important because if being photographed becomes an ordeal for your child, you risk them running away whenever anyone pulls the camera out! Engage with your child – you are the expert at getting your child animated. Do what you do best and be patient – sometimes it takes a wee while to coax a smile, laugh or even your favourite intense stare or frown! We are not afraid to be silly in our studio, as it is often what is unexpected that makes kids crack-up! Once your child is in the right space – work fast! Realistically, babies may only have a window as small as 20 minutes for the entire photo-shoot. In our experience that is long enough to get those magic shots – but you need to be ready! We recommend that you know the limitations of your equipment. Although digital cameras are getting better and better – images on your smart phone will not blow-up to beautiful sharp wall prints. And more concerning to us are the increasing number of clients coming in who have lost photos of their families by not backing up their computer systems or saving more than one copy. Use your photos – your little ones childhood is priceless and quality photos are a reminder of the lovely stages of their lives. Our clients have said to us that professional photos were a priority for them in the early years because they were conscious of how quickly their children change. But taking great photos is only worthwhile if you enjoy the shots. At JFP, we encourage you to invest in having the images that most pull at your heartstrings printed and presented ready to hang on the wall. Walking past your favorite images on the wall will make you smile on a daily basis! Don't just purchase a disk of files from a session and leave it to collect dust in a drawer!
The team from the Wellington studio at Jo Frances Photography www.jofrancesphotography.co.nz
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back to work blues Even though you know it’s coming, making the transition back to work after taking time out to have a baby can be very tricky. Leaving your precious baby in someone else’s care is not easy and can put the most balanced parent through an emotional wringer. The key to things going as smoothly as possible is being well informed and being organised.
50 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years
Before you start work Start preparing a few weeks before you start back at work. If you can, try to go back to work late in the week, that will make your first week back to work a shorter one. Finding dependable childcare that you feel happy with is crucial. Visit local childcare providers and facilities or make other arrangements, like engaging a nanny, au pair or investigate other in–home care options. Look for a safe, stimulating environment and qualified caregivers. Ask friends, neighbours and co-workers for recommendations – word of mouth can be very helpful. Check caregivers' references and, most of all, trust your instincts. If using a daycare facility, put your baby into the new centre for a morning or two before your maternity leave comes to an end. This will ease them into it and make it less stressful for you trying to cope with your first day back at work and their first day at daycare all on the same time. If they’re distressed, you will be able to stay with them for a little while and help them adjust to the new location, rather than having to dash off to work. Talk to your employer so that you can clarify your job duties and schedule so you'll know what's expected of you. If you haven’t already done so, you might ask about flexible hours, working remotely from your home base or working part–time. Discuss your job – will it be the same as before you went on leave or have things changed since then? Make sure you know what will be expected of you when you return. Remember to try on your work clothes to make sure they fit – you don’t want to get a nasty surprise on your first day. Do a trial run to check you’re allowing yourself enough time to get yourself and the baby ready, drop them at childcare and arrive at work on time. If you’re still breastfeeding, work out the logistics so you can continue to do this when back at work. You may need to express breastmilk during the day, so investigate places at work where you can do this and check there’s somewhere to store the milk. Remember to pack breast pads in case of leakage. If you are returning to work, your employer is required, as far as it reasonable and practicable, to provide appropriate breaks and facilities for employees who wish to breastfeed their infants or express milk during work hours. More information on these provisions can be found at www.healthed.govt.nz/resource/ breastfeeding-and-working. Consider buying or renting an electric pump that allows you to pump both breasts at once. About two weeks before returning to work, adjust your schedule at home so you're pumping at least once each day and breastfeeding before and after your upcoming work hours. Have someone else feed your baby a bottle of breast milk to help your baby adapt. If you have onsite
or childcare facilities nearby, work through the logistics of breastfeeding your baby during the workday. Accept help from your partner, loved ones, friends and co-workers. Speak up if you're feeling guilty, sad or overwhelmed – there is no shame in asking for help or additional support. If you're having trouble pumping milk at work or breastfeeding your baby at home, contact a lactation consultant or your local La Leche League for advice.
back to work
If you are breastfeeding you may want to start expressing extra milk to keep in the freezer a few weeks beforehand, this will store nicely for up to three months.
Don’t try to do everything yourself. Accept help from others – your partner, family and friends. Remember you’re now doing two jobs and everyone will have to adjust.
Pack your change bag the night before with extra wipes, nappies, changes of clothes, favourite soft toy or rattle, familiar blanket, etc so that all you need to add in the morning is your milk.
Get into the habit of cooking double portions so you can freeze half to help you through the week
Once you’re back at work You will need to be super organised. Pack everything you need the night before. Have the baby’s bag for daycare sorted out and check your bag is also packed with everything you will need – phone, purse, breast pump, breast pads, access key, etc. Don’t worry too much if your baby gets upset when you leave them at daycare. This is only natural and it may take them a little while to get used to not having you around. It will not be long before they understand that you’ll be back again later to get them.
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Within days of starting at daycare many little ones get sick, because they’re suddenly exposed to a lot more children than usual and also a cocktail of germs. Make sure you have a contingency plan – will your partner, friend or a family member be able to look after the sick baby while you keep working? It would be nice not to have to take time off with a sick child when you’ve only just gone back. Whenever possible, try to get plenty of rest. This is easier said than done with a small child, but if you get to bed at a decent hour and have a rest in the weekends it will help to combat the tiredness you are bound to feel.
Feeding routines vary widely from baby to baby. If you have any concerns about your baby’s feeding, health or other growth issues, get advice from your family doctor, Plunket nurse or other health care provider.
Make sure that you set aside some “me” time. Whether it’s having a long soak in the bath, going for a walk, or just coffee with your friends, it’s important to have time out. Most important of all, don’t forget to enjoy quality time with your baby and the rest of the family. Parents Centre has developed a Return to Work programme, which encompasses sessions relevant for those parents who might be considering re-entering the paid workforce. These run at a number of Centres nationwide, contact your local Centre to find out more information. � www.parentscentre.org.nz www.healthed.govt.nz/resource/breastfeeding-andworking
Let go of guilt Parents are good at guilt! Returning to work after maternity leave can pose emotional conflicts for mothers. Guilt that you're leaving your baby. Relief to be away from your baby. Guilt that you're feeling relieved to be away from your baby. Missing your baby. Remember, there is no such thing as a perfect mother – or father. Working outside the home doesn't make you a bad mother – and it's OK to look forward to the challenges and social aspects of your job. However you balance family and work, aim to be present when you're with your baby and when you're at your desk. Above all, maintain a positive attitude. Tell your baby how excited you are to see him or her at the end of the day. Your baby might not understand your words just yet, but he or she will pick up on the meanings.
52 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years
Uniquely designed from baby’s point of view. The Tommee Tippee® Miomee® Single Electric Breast Pump has a unique design which includes a gentle flex cup, making for a more comfortable and efficient expression of milk. Relax into your expression with the convenient count down timer and adjustable settings which simulates your baby’s natural feeding action. The Tommee Tippee® Miomee® Single Electric Breast Pump is easy to hold and lightweight to carry, making it ideal for use at home and on the go. Miomee breast pumps are part of a wider range of breast feeding and nursery set up products designed to make life easier for you and your baby. To see the full range go to www.miomee.co.nz.
www.miomee.co.nz 0800 877 876
poopedâ&#x20AC;Ś What causes pregnancy fatigue and what you can do about it.
Do you having trouble just lifting your head off the pillow, let alone getting out of bed? Do you find you’re dragging your feet all day, and can't wait to fall into bed as soon as you get home? Sound familiar? If it does, don’t worry – it’s absolutely normal to feel tired when you’re pregnant, especially during the early months and again in the last few weeks before giving birth. Pregnancy can make you feel tired. During the first trimester hormonal changes are supporting your body to change and adapt to pregnancy as well as support the baby to grow and the placenta to develop. These hormonal changes can result in you feeling tired and affect your mood. They cause a range of changes in your body including changes to your metabolism and your blood volume. These changes are all needed to help the baby’s circulation and development. By the end of the first trimester, the placenta has developed, your baby is fully formed and you will have grown a bit more accustomed to the hormonal and emotional changes. This usually means the second trimester is a time of renewed energy. Fatigue can return in the third trimester, when your baby is growing bigger. Sleep can become a bit more elusive at this time because you may have some pregnancy – related discomfort such as heartburn, backache, and the need to pop to the toilet more frequently than usual due to the growing baby putting pressure on your bladder.
So, what can you do about it? Listen to your body. If you're tired, rest. Pace yourself, keep your body's message in mind and don't try to do too much. Let the housework wait. Don't take on new activities – or take care of chores – that aren't essential. Now may be the time to take up a new interesting hobby but it’s not really the time to start on major household renovations! Don’t be shy about asking for help. Let your partner, family and friends know that you need some support so they can pick up the slack. Let them know what you would like them to do and what will best support you. If anyone offers to give you a hand, say yes every time. Having a friend run a few errands for you can be a godsend.
If you're perpetually sleepy, listen to what your body is telling you and make a point of getting more sleep. If at all possible – and this is not always easy if you are at work or already have an active toddler running around – go to bed earlier, or stay in bed later. Even better, see if you can do both.
Keep fuelled up To keep your energy up, you need a steady supply of good fuel so make sure you eat healthily and well. Discuss your nutritional needs in pregnancy with your midwife who will be able to provide you with this information. It is a good idea to try to eat often. Keeping your blood sugar on an even keel will help keep your energy steady, so resist meal skipping. Opt instead for frequent mini-meals and healthy snacks. The Ministry of Health website has some excellent nutritional guidelines.
Get a move on Even though your bed or couch seems the best place to be, paradoxically, the right amount of appropriate exercise can be just as rejuvenating as a nap. So take a short brisk walk or swim – not only will you feel more energised, but you'll probably sleep better at night. Just don't overdo it – you want to finish your workout feeling energised, not exhausted.
Talk about your tiredness If you feel very tired all the time, talk to your midwife, especially if you experience other symptoms like breathlessness or fainting spells which may mean you have iron-deficiency anaemia, which is a treatable condition. If you’re feeling sad or having changes in appetite, or if you feel panicky or anxious, you may be experiencing prenatal depression or anxiety. Talking to your midwife can help you understand the changes happening to your body, how to cope with them, and how to treat them if necessary.
Iron out tiredness Iron requirements are high in pregnancy, especially in the third trimester. A lack of iron can make you feel tired and breathless. Developing iron-deficiency anaemia during pregnancy can affect your health, and in some cases of severe anaemia it could also impact on your baby’s growth and development.
There are two types of iron – haem and non-haem iron. Haem iron is absorbed much more efficiently than nonhaem iron and is found in red meats, chicken, pork, fish and seafood. Non-haem iron is found in plant-based foods such as breads (especially wholemeal and fortified varieties), cereals, vegetables, beans (baked beans and kidney beans especially – beware of tinned baked beans as there may be hidden sugar in there too), peas, seeds, dried apricots and legumes. Muesli can be a good source of iron as it contains cereals, nuts, seeds and dried fruit. Vitamin C can enhance the absorption of both types of iron – this is why eating vitamin C rich foods (like citrus fruits and juices, kiwifruit, tomatoes and red capsicum) at the same time you eat iron rich foods will improve you body to absorb the iron more effectively. The Ministry of Health advises pregnant women to consume 27mg of iron per day. Pregnant vegetarian and vegan women can source their iron from such foods as wholegrain breads, nuts, seeds, dried beans, peas or lentils. Eating two or more servings of these foods each day will help you meet your iron needs. If you’re concerned about your iron levels, discuss this with your lead maternity carer.
Tannins (present in tea) and phytates (found in bran) inhibit iron absorption so try to avoid consuming these at the same time as eating foods providing non-haem iron. Tea and coffee may reduce the amount of iron absorbed so avoid drinking these until about an hour after a meal, or have them between meals. � Find out more from www.moh.govt.nz
Best sources of iron are… Red meat; eggs; apricots, raisins and prunes; tinned sardines, crab and tuna in oil; fortified cereals; sesame seeds (offal such as liver and kidneys is rich in iron but should be avoided in pregnancy). Iron is a carrier of oxygen throughout the body. Lack of iron will make you feel tired and exhausted during pregnancy and while breastfeeding. We need iron to produce haemoglobin in our blood, which carries oxygen around our body. Our immune system also needs iron to work well.
Prepared with information from the Ministry of Health and the New Zealand College of Midwives.
56 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years
Homeopathic first aid – a boost for your home kit We are living in a world where it is essential to utilise natural medicines which help the body heal itself when injured. Minor scrapes can lead to major infections. If not looked after, and with increasing strains of disease not responding to antibiotics, it is crucial that we employ measures that are going to give our body assistance to regain a healthy balance. In acute injury, our body sends out clear messages which, when you understand the principles of homeopathic prescribing, are just cries for help and for particular remedies to be given. Symptoms produced by the individual are the key to good choices; we always look for what is unusual, characteristic or the ‘unique factor’ in the person who needs assistance. In this article we are going to look at some common types of injury and the specific remedy ‘pictures’ that might suit these sorts of injuries.
Arnica – for blunt trauma The most usual sort of injury that you will use Arnica for is injury from a blow or a blunt force. Usually this sort of injury will result in a bruise and the resulting aching pain. Typical symptoms suited to this remedy are: restlessness with the injury dislike of being touched a n aversion to being looked at/ not wanting to see a doctor or seek help
Rhus tox – strains and injury to the muscles Rhus tox is the remedy to think of when there has been an injury or strain to the muscle/s resulting in soreness and stiffness. Ailments can often occur from a period of cold, damp weather or a period of unusual or prolonged over-exertion. What you are likely to see are some of the following symptoms: worse on beginning to move, stiff, sore and slow b etter from continued motion, they loosen up and feel better (the ‘rusty gate remedy’) r estless – in both mind and body, cannot sit still and feel better on the move m uch better from warmth (applications, bath and showers etc) and from warm weather n eck or back stiffness causing the patient to move their neck to get comfortable or feel better from warm applications a good remedy to think of for sprains where the injury means it is hard to get comfortable in bed and is better from rubbing.
Hypericum – for puncture wounds and injuries to the nerves This is the remedy we think of when we are dealing with injuries involving nerves – tips of fingers and toes, tailbone, spine or puncture wounds. The nature of the pains when we need to use Hypericum, are sharp, severe and throbbing. Typical injuries requiring Hypericum might be:
victim protests “I’m OK!” when clearly they are not
j amming a finger or toe in a door and crushing the nerves
pains or sensations are of a bruised or aching type
great pain after a fall on to the tailbone
u seful for sprains, strains or fractures, or back pain from over-exertion
a puncture wound – injection, injury or vaccination where the resultant pain is sharp and shooting
u seful for post-operative pain or for exhaustion and pain from a long labour.
t he patient may want to sit with their head bent backwards when they are dealing with the pain
58 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years
u seful for the severe headache resulting from a forceps delivery or epidural or for sharp pains after a caesarian t ingling, burning or numbness of the extremities after a back injury.
Calendula – for jagged cuts or grazes This is a remedy beyond compare in its ability to stimulate the healing of the skin. Calendula (the common marigold) has antiseptic properties and encourages the skin to granulate and mend. It also helps with the pain of skin and tissue injuries. Think of Calendula for: w ounds that bleed excessively – helps to stem the bleeding n asty wounds of great pain – e.g. from a jagged cut of the type a tin can leaves for painful grazes on gravel or rough surfaces f or burns or cuts or any infection post surgery, Calendula will help the pain vaginal tears or infection after a difficult delivery u nhealthy cuts which suppurate and are slow to heal. Homeopathic remedies are generally taken internally as pillules, tablets or liquids. They help the person with the injury to heal from the inside out. Sometimes it can also be soothing to have an external application with which to bathe or care for a wound, while giving a remedy internally. This can bring great relief to the patient and in turn enhances the healing process.
HyperCal Lotion This is a mixture of two tinctures – one made from Hypericum and the other Calendula. Between them, they provide an option, added to water, for bathing wounds. The sorts of skin ailments that you might find HyperCal useful for are scratches, cuts and abrasions, grazes or burns. Hypericum is particularly helpful for the pain of deeper entry wounds and will help with the cleansing process while Calendula will assist in the granulation of the skin after injury and its antiseptic properties will assist in clearing infection. Together, with a squirt in your clean bowl of water, they offer a soothing option for cleansing a wound – an ideal addition to your first aid kit!
Arnica Cream Now available everywhere, there is a huge range of Arnica creams, some with additional ingredients to facilitate the soothing of muscular strains and sprains. The cream can be rubbed on and used externally for injuries in conjunction with an indicated remedy being taken internally. The nature of both Arnica and Rhus tox injuries is that they benefit from rubbing, and the injured tissue will respond from having the substance absorbed through the skin as well as internally. Don’t apply Arnica to broken skin. Always remember your normal first aid measures and seek medical assistance if you suspect something serious or if your patient doesn’t improve over a short period of time. Guidelines for potency and prescribing are that 30c is a good medium potency to use and that the intensity of symptoms is a guide to the frequency of the remedy – the more intense the symptoms, the more frequently you repeat, up to about six doses. Once you notice an improvement in the person, stop the remedy, only restarting if the same symptoms return. We want to encourage the body to heal itself and do this by giving the appropriate homeopathic remedy as the initial stimulus. The remedies covered here are the basic ‘go-to’s’ of the homeopathic world. They are an easy addition to make to your first aid kit and can ease a range of suffering from accidents and injury amongst your family members. �
Judy Coldicott RC Hom Judy practices as both a homeopath and reflexologist from Pleasant Point in South Island’s rural heartland. She is a senior staff member for the College of Natural Health and Homeopathy, primarily involved in curriculum matters and student support. Judy’s passion is to make homeopathy user-friendly and accessible to the general public and she loves to inspire people of all ages to feel confident in its use.
when is a bargain not a bargain? Everyone loves a bargain and before we know it, the post-Christmas sales will be upon us. Before going crazy with your plastic, take some time to consider when is a bargain not a bargain? Many of us take advantage of the post-Christmas (or Boxing Day) sales to pick up a bargain or two. It might seem crazy, but over the past few years, the crowds lining up for the start of the sales has been bigger than the pre-Christmas rush period. So what’s the big attraction? Clearly it’s the lure of the almighty bargain. But when is a bargain not a bargain? We all love to save money if we can and this is evidenced by the droves of people that fight through the crowds at the annual Boxing Day sales. Armed with catalogues, lists, cash and credit cards, we hit the shops ready to do battle. But to make the most of the sales we really need to consider a few key things.
60 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years
Do we really need the purchase? Needs versus wants is a concept we all learn as children, but unfortunately many of us forget to apply it in our adult lives. If we don’t really need the bargain item, then you’re not really saving money. Buying something just because it is on sale can be costly. If it has no use, then it’s probably not worth buying in the first place.
Is it going to cost more in the long run? If you pay for the item on your credit card and don’t pay off the amount in full by the due date, then the interest charged on your purchase may mean that it’s not a bargain at all – in fact, it could end up costing you much more than the recommended retail price.
A credit card is a loan If you think about the use of a credit card to buy say, a pair of shoes, it is the same as walking into a financial institution and asking for a loan to buy a pair of shoes. There is no difference. Essentially, if you don’t repay the full amount by the due date, you will pay interest on the money you have ‘borrowed’ to buy the pair of shoes.
Some handy tips for the sales: Plan your shopping – write a list of what you need and stick to it. Research your prices so you know the recommended retail price and how much you may be saving if you make a purchase at the ‘bargain’ price. This is easier to do than ever before with the power of the internet! Just because a retailer says an item is ‘on sale’ it doesn’t mean that you might not find it cheaper elsewhere, so be sure to shop around. Use online price comparison sites such as www. priceme.co.nz or www.pricespy.co.nz to get a feel for how much an item is worth. Five minutes browsing may end up saving you big time!
It’s worth noting that last year some retailers offered Boxing Day prices in the few days or the week prior to Christmas, so consumers were able to access the ‘bargain’ price before Christmas Day. So keep an eye out for the pre-Christmas catalogues to see exactly when the sale prices start. The content of this article has been adapted for a New Zealand audience from an article by the Davidson Institute, an education initiative of Westpac Banking Corporation www.davidsoninstitute.edu.au �
Kate van Praagh Kate van Praagh is a part-time working mum to a busy 19-month-old girl. As Senior Sustainability Manager at Westpac, Kate is responsible for programmes relating to financial education, social and affordable housing and diversity.
Visit www.westpac.co.nz and click on the ‘Managing Your Money’ tab for helpful tools Set yourself a limit on the amount you will spend including saving and budgeting calculators and and don’t be tempted to overspend. online tutorials. You can also check out if there is a workshop coming up near you. There are even tools Use cash wherever possible. You don’t want to have for kids including some cool online games to get a debt hangover in the New Year if you can avoid it. WE S 1 4 4 4 K i w i _ p a r e n t A . p d f P a g e 1 2 9 / 0 6 / 1 2 kids , 1 1 : 4 4about A Mmoney and how to save – click thinking Don’t get carried away! on ‘Your Life Stage’ to find out more.
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Becoming a childbirth educator taught me so much about life My husband Owen and I attended Parents Centre antenatal classes when I was pregnant with my third baby, Coby, with the main aim of meeting other parents-to-be, as not many of our friends were having children at that point. I remember sitting in class thinking what an amazing job our childbirth educator had. What a massive positive influence she could have in people’s lives by empowering parents-to-be to make informed choices when it came to pregnancy, labour, birth and parenting.
62 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years
I loved the way the classes were so interactive and designed in a way that, by the end of the course, we had formed new friendships and had a solid support network that was invaluable once our babies arrived. We caught up once a week for that entire first year of our baby’s lives, and still do now, five years on. As a mother raising her family where I don’t even have any family members in the same island as me, this support network was invaluable. Eighteen months later, after the birth of babies three and four, I decided to combine my love of babies with my other passion of health and wellbeing. I started my own business called ‘Active Mums’ running both
exercise classes and personal training sessions for pregnant mums and new mums with their bubs. I just loved it so so much and wanted to do more in this area. I already had two degrees and two postgrad diplomas and therefore a MASSIVE student loan, so had never really considered doing more study. But when I heard about the Parent Centre scholarships to complete the Diploma in Childbirth Education, and the opportunity came up to apply for one, I knew I just had to put an application together and throw my name in the hat. It was an opportunity I’d be silly to miss. I was so excited when I found out my application was successful! The first year of study was pretty full on – it’s tough to study some pretty intense content via distance learning, but the five-day workshop held at the end of the first year brought us all together and it was great to meet the wonderful women who had been supporting each other online all year, and to share with our peers our mutual passion for childbirth and all the amazingness surrounding it.
They will always hold a special place in my heart In the second year, things were much more practical and we got to teach two sets of classes. My first group of parents-to-be will always hold a special place in my heart. They were an amazing group of people and I really enjoyed facilitating the classes – I was hooked. I felt like this was a role built just for me. I loved everything about it. I see it as such an absolute honour to share in people’s parenting journeys, from the pregnancy through to the labour and birth, and those early parenting moments – I know it is a real privilege and one I cherish. The way the female body is so intricately designed by nature to birth our babies on their own, instinctively, never ceases to amaze me. I love to share this knowledge with other parents-to-be, encouraging them to believe that they don’t need to be ‘taught’ how to birth their babies, but that thanks to ‘mother nature’ they already know! The courses I run don’t just acknowledge the physical aspects of pregnancy, childbirth and parenting, but also the social, emotional and spiritual sides – labour topics are offered alongside practical parenting topics as well as other topics designed to help parents nurture their relationships and be supportive of each other as they learn and grow in their new roles as parents. One of the themes that underpins all that I do is that I want people to walk away from my classes with an enhanced support network. As a parent who is raising four children without any family support nearby I believe you can never have too much support when it comes to raising a child. I strive to create interactive classes where my participants will get to know each other well and will be able to forge lasting relationships that act as a solid support network once their babies are born. I also aim to make my classes a lot of fun, and use humour wherever appropriate to make people feel at ease and to help us learn. It’s not uncommon for the dads in my classes to say at the end of the course that
they were, initially, not keen to come along and weren’t sure what to expect, but ended up having a really great time and learning lots, and that they are very grateful and more confident for it.
aware, dealing with the unexpected, and appreciating the creation of life and all the intricacies taken for granted. It may all sound a bit airy fairy, but it’s just so empowering. �
It’s also common to have mums get in touch afterwards and to share their birth stories and how certain aspects of what they’d picked up from my course really stayed with them and helped them to make decisions they felt really good about come crunch time, and helped them to have what they feel is a really positive birth experience. Being a Childbirth Educator (CBE) has not only fulfilled my passion for all things baby-related, but it has taught me so much about life – about being accepting of others, being open to new viewpoints that may differ from my own, becoming a better listener, being more culturally
loved our Childbirth Education classes at Dunedin Parents Centre. Shannon was fabulous, very upbeat and positive but also told us how it was. My husband was not overly keen on starting CBE classes and unfortunately had not heard very good things about them from other dads. But he left the classes more knowledgeable and confident about labour and birth. I think a few things had been clarified for him and he was clearer about his role when the "big day" arrived. Now he has highly recommended Shannon's classes to many expectant dads and he has told them a positive story about going to these classes.
my wife and myself found Shannon’s class very informative and feel that we got a lot out of it. Shannon’s style of teaching is excellent and very nonoverwhelming in terms of the providing of large amounts of information to people who sometimes know nothing of the topic. It did not feel like a class where we went to learn. Instead it felt more like a group discussion and open discourse on parenting with lots of very helpful tips and tricks. I’m not sure whether antenatal facilitators are trained in motivation interviewing or not but Shannon seemed to be quite well versed in the style. Instead of simply providing information to the participants (which would have been boring), Shannon seemed to use the Elicit-Provide-Elicit method which made us feel like more of a part of it. Asking parents what they think of a certain topic, and then providing the information followed by a talk about it is a good way to engage participants in group work.
64 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years
being in Shannon's class and learning about various strategies to help cope with labour and birth I had a sense of calm come over me and I was actually looking forward to giving birth. I felt very confident in my own and my body's abilities and I truly believe this helped when the time came. I had what I would deem a great birth experience and I know that Shannon's knowledge and sharing her own experiences helped me with this. - Rachel Taylor
babies arrived only a couple of weeks after the course so the last 18 weeks have been a massive blur! Haha. Dear Shannon,
you let everyone know how amazing Rachel was during labour, she was so calm and assured it was incredible to watch her just turn into this ready made mum, all her natural instincts took over like you said they would and I think her calmness had a lot to do with our classes and helped so much in having our birth as we planned it. I think teamwork and confidence are the best attributes to have going in to the labour, wish everyone the best and enjoy it. - Nick Taylor
it was a great experience. Not only does Shannon possess sound knowledge in her topic and is a great facilitator, she is also a really nice person, which is clearly apparent and makes the ante natal group much more pleasant and non-intimidating experience. - David Jones
Become a Childbirth Educator increasing the awareness and knowledge of expectant parents
hildbirth educators are essential to increasing the awareness and knowledge of expectant parents through many choices and challenges related to childbirth education and the ongoing care of babies. Aoraki Polytechnic offers the Diploma in Childbirth Education (CBE). Offered on a part-time basis, through distance learning the programme also includes two workshops and constant tutor guidance and support through a variety of technology. The Diploma is a 2 year programme and trains you to become a childbirth educator competent to teach pre-natal classes to expectant parents in a wide variety of settings.
Shannon is originally from Te Awamutu, and has been in Dunedin since she left school. As well as being a Parents Centre CBE, she is a full time PE, Health and Digital Technology secondary school teacher. Shannon has a 16-year-old daughter Tiahli, and three sons, Ashton (ten), Coby (five) and Niko (four).
0800 426 725 | firstname.lastname@example.org | www.aoraki.ac.nz
theI resolutions will not make We’re nearly at the start of a brand new year - and it's resolution time! Time to feel good about becoming a better, thinner, stress-free, more fun, more balanced you. Which means six weeks of self-righteous gym sweating, a few days of counting kilojoules and measuring palm-sized helpings of pasta, one hardcore meditation session, and maybe a couple of hours without chocolate. (No need to restrict wine. That would just be over-the-top stupid.) The promises you make to yourself are so easy to break! Give yourself an excuse, justify it with flawed reasoning, and then you can forget about it and move on. Making promises to someone else is a bit harder when you have to face up to that look of crushing disappointment in their eyes. So here are three resolutions I would like to make to my children this year which I am never going to tell them about.
Stephanie Matuku Popular blogger, Stephanie Matuku, is an accidental stay-at-home Mum to two busy pre-schoolers. In a previous life she was a radio creative writer, voiceover artist and occasional actor. She is an award-winning playwright, sporadic exerciser and aspiring novelist. She regrets once being a childless person who liked to dispense parenting advice. Sorry.
1: I will stop shouting at you Obviously this is not going to happen. If their stubby little legs are heading for a busy road, I will move my stubby little legs faster whilst shouting like a banshee. If they are about to drink bleach, I will shout that water is a far better choice. And if they do what I have asked them not to do for the third time, I will shout, if only to be heard over their indignant wailing. I do not want to be a shouter, but I am. Sorry kids, but since the antismacking law came in, that's all I've got.
2: I will stop giving you junk food This is an easy one. They hardly ever get junk food anyway. On my son's third birthday we indulgently let him eat as much rubbish as he wanted including a huge piece of double chocolate mud cake for dessert. That night in bed he was scratching and twitching like a junkie on crack and neither of us got to sleep until after midnight. It was horrible and I felt like the worst mother in the world. Needless to say Christmas, the traditional time for overindulgence in scorched almonds, candycanes and Roses chocolates, was a very quiet affair. But boy, did they enjoy their carob covered carrots.
3: I will play more The point of having extra babies is so they have someone to play with when Mum can't be bothered. But when they're little they don't really have that 'playing together' skill set yet. They have, 'I'll play with this and you play with that and then you take my stuff and I hit you.' I need to play with them more – a) to teach them how to do it, and b) because it's more fun than housework (and then maybe they'll like me more than that cradle-snatching bitch, the TV). The best resolutions are those made to yourself and not shared with anyone, least of all with your children. All it takes is three little words from a quivering, cherubic lip, "But you promised..." to guilt you into keeping whatever ridiculous declarations you made in January. So, Mum's the word... and roll on February. �
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NEW Children’s Crystals from Atlantis Inspirations Ltd Looking for that special kind of love for your child’s bedroom or around the house? Bring home “The Love Tree” specially programmed with our love frequencies. Bring joy and the loving vibrations into your home or the bedroom so to have a calming and relaxing atmosphere to assist your baby/child night’s sleep. It is also an ideal gift bringing in the joy of a new birth. If your child is experiencing fear and worry, place our Child’s Anxiety Crystal in its own velvet bag under their pillow when they have nightmares or just feel anxious. The crystal has a cut groove so your child can receive comfort by placing their thumb on it whilst drifting off to sleep. You can choose any crystal piece and we can programme the frequency vibrations that your child or yourself may be experiencing. Blending the science of quantum physics with a natural crystal piece brings these special handmade crystals to a new level for the owner. Sue Nicholson and Karen Odell have joined forces to help you on your own self-discovery with the different modalities that they both have come across over their journeys. Their combined energies are contagious with their overwhelming focus of enjoying life and helping many on their paths. From the minute you connect with your chosen piece, it's like a bond. It brings you a sense of peace, and a knowledge that things are going to feel better when being around it. Sue and Karen have carefully put this stunning collection of crystal jewellery, energy transformers and crystals for the home together for everyone and look forward to empowering you to make positive changes in your life, resulting in a happier you. www.suenicholsonshop.com
– supporting kiwi parents through the early years
Infuse your home with style and fun Mocka is a family run New Zealand company that designs contemporary furniture and toys for children through to adults. Their quality products range from high chairs and cots to desks, coat racks, armchairs, side drawers and more. From the kitchen to the living room, bathroom, playroom or bedroom Mocka’s large range of furniture and toys will infuse your home with style and fun. If you are looking for a range of toys that will keep your child busy playing all day long then you can’t go past Mocka. From playing inside with Mocka’s wooden play sets, hobby horses, dolls prams and puppets to burning up energy outside riding their balance bikes and go kart or playing in their Teepee. Children love playing
with their fun and durable Mocka toys. Mocka’s Larry the Lamb is another Mocka toy that will put a smile on your child’s face. Larry the Lamb is a fun redesign of the traditional style rocking horse and makes a perfect addition to any nursery, children’s bedroom or playroom. His bold colour and sweet design will liven up any room while his soft toggle fabric makes him safe to play on and soft to touch. Whether you are decorating your home or looking for some great toys to entertain the children, you will find everything you need at an affordable price at Mocka. Not to mention their free shipping within New Zealand. www.mocka.co.nz
Teething troubles never looked so good! All babies love to grab and chew. When one becomes a mum, it doesn’t mean that your days of jewellery wearing are over! MummaBubba Jewellery have the answer mums have been looking for! Our BPA free chewable accessory range offers mum a safe alternative to regular fashion jewellery. When a baby is teething they will gnaw and gum down on anything they can get their mouths around. The counter pressure from biting on something helps relieve the pressure from under the gums. This is where MummaBubba Jewellery products are a perfect combination for mum and baby! MummaBubba's Jewellery offers the ideal combination of form and function, so mum can sit back and relax in the latest fashion accessories with the peace of mind that they are providing safe, much needed relief to tender little gums. Made from FDA approved silicone, regularly tested and guaranteed to contain no BPA, phthalates, PVC, lead, cadmium or mercury. Odourless, tasteless and bacteria free, with a custom designed clasp that pulls apart safely. Easily cleaned in warm soapy water.
Introducing our new arrivals… Little Num Nums All natural teethers – Little Birdie, Charlie Car, and Heart of Hearts are available in a delicious range of colours including peppermint and orange. Soft on gums, lightweight and easy for baby hands to grasp. Even better, they are dishwasher safe and come with a pram strap! Our Taggie Comforters – are luxurious and soft, available in four adorable animal shapes – Felix the Fox, PoPo the Panda, Silver the Unicorn and Spike the Dinosaur. With looped ribbons and in bright colors, littlies will fall in love with their Taggie. Little Num Nums are suitable for babies from birth and are certified to Australian and European standards. www.mummabubbajewellery.co.nz
Love Lockets – capturing memories or creating new ones Love Lockets let you personalise your jewellery and is the perfect gift for baby showers, birthdays, christenings, Mothers Day and Christmas. Or, if you are a busy mother and never have any time for you, maybe it is time to treat yourself! Select from a range of beautiful pendants, chains and pieces that make up who you are and what you love – like this rose gold Melting Heart pendant with three charms: 'love', 'tree of life' and 'I love my kids'. You might also like to chose birthstones of your children, love hearts, baby feet, family plates – there are so many choices! See our full range online. www.lovelockets.com.au
– supporting kiwi parents through the early years
More than just a nursing bra Forever Yours by Hotmilk Lingerie is aptly named as a nursing bra style you should have forever in your lingerie drawer! This is the ultimate T-shirt bra made with a silky nude microfibre with a fun dot print on the inside lining. This style is available in both black and nude and can also be worn with a crossover strap detail on the back too. RRP$59.95
Use this code to redeem a 25% discount at checkout. PCSPECIAL25 Features: Contour cups for a smooth profile Foam moulded for shaping Flexible wire for shaping 100% cotton lined cups for skin breathability 6 hook and eye extension for ribcage expansion Cotton lined straps for added comfort Easy one-handed drop down cups for breastfeeding Side sling for great skin to skin contact Wider straps on the larger cups for added strength www.hotmilklingerie.com
Invite the fairies to stay at your house Bring a touch of magic into your child’s life with a Magic Fairy House. Entice fairies, gnomes and magical wee folk into your home or garden with a beautifully crafted Magic Fairy House, made by hand in New Zealand. This little house is the perfect accessory for your child’s nursery, bedroom or fairy garden. Place near a bed or on top of a dresser to invite the fairies into your child’s room. Or place outside in your garden to create an instant fairy or gnome dwelling that will enchant any child. Each house has two small windows and a door that is partly opened – just enough to peek through and see whether the fairies have visited. The hollow base allows you to transform your
Magic Fairy House into a reassuring nightlight by adding one of our flickering Magic Fairy Lights inside the house at night. The hollow base also allows fairies to exchange notes or gifts inside the house and hear the squeals of delight when children find out a fairy has visited! Calling upon fairies is a psychologist endorsed method for helping children with difficult childhood stages such as sleeping or starting a new school. Bring your child a gift and an experience they will treasure forever. Let the magic of fairies fill your home. www.magicfairyhouse.com
Wishing you and your families a
peaceful & joyous festive season, followed by a safe and relaxing holiday From the Kiwiparent team
Congratulations to the lucky winners From issue 262
Minnie Vet Set from Holdson
Cake Kit from My Cake Kit
Stephy Trendall Auckland
Lisa Jone Palmerston North
Zhang Ying Auckland
Kate Symes Wellington
Victoria Hay Christchurch
Jessica Holt Rodney Matt Howard Fielding
Pod Clip on High Chair from Mountain Buggy Ben Blower Christchurch
AveenoÂŽ Baby Pack Rachel Irwin Auckland
Victoria McPherson Auckland Criggy Haas, Wellington
Jennie Schrader New Plymouth Diane Fleming Wellington
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Find a Centre near you Parents Centres span the entire country with 50 locations around New Zealand. Contact your local Centre for details of programmes and support available in your area or go to
North Island Auckland Region 1
Bay of Plenty
Bays North Harbour
Auckland Region 2
East Coast North Island
Auckland Region 3
Central Hawkes Bay
East & Bays
South Island Northern South Island Nelson Marlborough Greymouth Canterbury Region Ashburton Christchurch Christchurch South Timaru Oamaru Southern Region Alexandra Balclutha Dunedin Gore Invercargill Taieri
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Huggies online pregnancy and parenting The HUGGIES® website is about pregnancy and parenting. Check out features such as special offers, info on sleeping and settling plus hundreds of recipes and kids activity ideas! And it’s all free to HUGGIES® Baby Club members. Phone: 0800 733 703 www.huggies.co.nz
My Food Bag Every week Nadia and her team of Test Chefs dream up exciting and nutritious dinner recipes just for you. We like to keep things simple, so every week (or fortnight) we deliver the ingredients and recipes right to your door. You just open your food bag and discover what tasty meals you get to cook and enjoy. Simple. Healthy. Delicious www.myfoodbag.co.nz
Tommee Tippee Our products have been used by Kiwi parents for over 35 years and we are a market leader in New Zealand. Designed in consultation with experts, the range delivers solutions for each unique stage from newborn to toddler. Phone: 0800 877 876 www.tommeetippee.co.nz
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Philips Avent Choosing Philips AVENT means you have the assurance of superior quality products, designed with you and baby’s needs in mind. Interchangeable design features mean products can be adapted to meet baby’s developing needs. Phone: 0800 104 401 www.philips.co.nz/AVENT
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76 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years
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SAVE LIVES It's the law that all children under seven must be secured in an approved child restraint appropriate for their age and size. Children aged seven must be secured in an approved child restraint if one is available in the vehicle, and if not, in any child restraint or safety belt that is available. Retailers and other organisations may have certified Child Restraint Technicians who can provide you with advice and assistance. Trained Child Restraint Technicians have NZ Qualifications Authority unit standards. For information on how to safely use child restraints and to find your local Child Restraint Technician, visit: www.nzta.govt.nz/ childrestraints www.plunket.org.nz www.safekids.org.nz
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The original and best ever attached sleep-bag for 3-30 month olds www.babyokproducts.com
Buy the new sequel book:
My Cake Kit offers a simple and innovative solution for baking creative birthday cakes. We box it, you bake it - you take the credit! You do not have to be an expert, our cakes are simple template based designs. In your cake kit, you will find (just about) everything you need - from the baking tray to all the ingredients - to recreate the cake you choose. From your pantry you will need eggs or oil, milk and some butter for the icing. Follow our simple instructions, use our templates and a master piece is yours!
oh grow up… TToddlers od to PreTeens Decoded In book stores now
Let your ideas loose all over your walls with Resene Write-on Wall Paint.
Simply apply over your existing light coloured wall paint. Then once dry and cured you can use whiteboard markers to write all over the wall without damaging the surface. And when it’s time to delete an idea just grab a soft cloth or whiteboard eraser, rub out the marker and start again. With Resene Write-on Wall Paint there’s no limit to your ideas.
0800 RESENE (737 363)
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win great giveaways
Enter online at kiwiparent.co.nz and follow the instructions. Entries must be received by 5pm 13 January 2015. Winners will be published in issue 265.
Make the most of the summer with a sun smart Banana Boat bundle
Win one of three Pendants from Love Lockets
The Banana Boat range has products to suit every occasion and the whole family as well as multiple application formats to keep sunscreen application easy. Banana Boat is getting behind a new initiative to educate tech-savvy Kiwi kids by installing UVLens sensors in 100 kindys all around the country. The UVLens sensor delivers real-time information to your smartphone or tablet, putting UV level, sunscreen reapplication alerts, tailored skin-type protection tips and interactive games at your fingertips. Prize valued at $400.
A perfect gift for baby showers, birthdays, christenings, Mothers Day and Christmas, Love Lockets let you personalise your jewellery. Or, if you are a busy mother and never have any time for you, maybe it is time you treat yourself! Select from a range of beautiful pieces that make up who you are and what you love – birthstones of your children, love hearts, baby feet, family plates and so much more! See our full range in our store section.
Be in the draw to win a Rose gold Melting Heart Pendant, Chain and three charms: Love, Tree of Life and I love my Kids. RRP $49.95 www.lovelockets.com.au
Win a bra from Hotmilk
Win a Larry the Lamb from Mocka Mocka’s Larry the Lamb will put a smile on your child’s face. Larry the Lamb is a fun redesign of the traditional style rocking horse and makes a perfect addition to any nursery, children’s bedroom or playroom. His bold colour and sweet design will liven up any room while his soft toggle fabric makes him safe to play on and soft to touch. RRP $79.95
Be in the draw to win one of three Forever Yours by Hotmilk Lingerie – aptly named as a nursing bra style you should have forever in your lingerie drawer! This is the ultimate T-shirt bra made with a silky nude microfibre with a fun dot print on the inside lining. This style is available in both black and nude and can also be worn with a crossover strap detail on the www.hotmilklingerie.com back too. RRP $59.95
Win one of four necklaces from MummaBubba jewellery
Three Magic Fairy Houses to be won
MummaBubba's Jewellery offers the ideal combination of form and function, so mum can sit back and relax in the latest fashion accessories with the peace of mind that they are providing safe, much needed relief to tender little gums. RRP $36.95
Bring a touch of magic into your child’s life with a Magic Fairy House. Entice fairies, gnomes and magical wee folk into your home or garden with a beautifully crafted Magic Fairy House, made by hand in New Zealand. Each house has two small windows and a door that is partly opened – just enough to peek through and see whether the fairies have visited. The hollow base transforms your Magic Fairy House into a reassuring nightlight. RRP $89.95 www.magicfairyhouse.com
80 kiwiparent – supporting kiwi parents through the early years
The product most recommended by doctors for pregnancy stretch marks. Colmar Brunton, 2012
“I’ve known about Bio-Oil for a while now, and I’ve used it on and off for scars, and for this and for that. So when I fell pregnant I used it a lot. I really didn’t want to get stretch marks, so I was quite diligent. At one stage I had three bottles, my mother-inlaw gave me one, I bought one and I think somebody else must have given me one. And I was lucky – I got no stretch marks, not one!” Pam with Kain
Bio-Oil® helps reduce the possibility of pregnancy stretch marks forming by increasing the skin’s elasticity. It should be applied twice daily from the start of the second trimester. For comprehensive product information, and details of clinical trials, please visit bio-oil.com. Bio-Oil is available at pharmacies and selected retailers at the recommended selling price of $20.45 (60ml). Individual results will vary.