Kiwiparent Issue #292 October 2019 - November 2019

RRP $7.50 (incl GST)

SUPPORTING PARENTS THROUGH THE EARLY YEARS

OCTOBER – NOVEMBER 2019

Introducing the Huggies cover stars Meet the winners of the 2019 Huggies coverstar competition

Sleep

Changing our lives

Surrogacy Doing it for all the right reasons

Did you know?

You are entitled to 48 hours fully funded postnatal care

Babes in backpacks Tackling the great outdoors with babies and toddlers

The magazine of Parents Centre New Zealand Inc

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ANTENATAL CLASSES HAMILTON AT NO CHARGE Parents Centre is a not-for-profit organisation providing parents with information and skills for their transition to parenthood.

As well as our English speaking classes we are also offering classes in Mandarin & Cantonese.

- Pregnancy comfort - Labour journey - Understanding your rights - Feeding and meeting your baby’s needs - Transition to parenthood - Practical parenting

Parents Centre’s expertly facilitated programmes are informative, fun, interactive and engaging!

Two locations available: - Hamilton CBD - Huntly Birthing Centre Mandarin-Cantonese-English Speaking Classes Contact: gailantenatalclass@gmail.com and/or amanda_liu31@hotmail.com English Speaking Classes Contact: md.chellz@gmail.com

www.parentscentre.org.nz

s clas ge” e v i a t a angu orm l f n n i w y “ver in our o to lly ent a i m c n ro espe envi ey were e f a s th o as a tions & w ed t t d I s “ n e o u q sp ask ys re tfully” a w l a ec resp

Subscribe & win

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1 years subscription to Kiwiparent (6 issues) is only $45 delivered to your door.

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Terms & conditions Subscribers must be New Zealand Residents. Offer ends midnight 29 November 2019. Only one entry to prize draw per subscriber. Gift not redeemable for cash. Random winner drawn and contacted by Parents Centre The magazine of Parents Centre 1 NZ Inc. Kiwiparent is the magazine of Parents Centre New Zealand Inc.

Winners of the 2019 coverstar photo competition, Elodie Fontaine, Ken Pereira and baby Hazel Pereira.

Photo © Ogilvy.

Features

In this issue

Our favourite photo

Letters to the Editor...................................................4–5

Huggies coverstar competition winner................... 8–12

Sleep changes our lives Dr Bronwyn Sweeney.................................................14–19

Surrogacy – doing it for all the right reasons Aleisha Hart, Christian Newman and Mark Edwards.......................................................20–26

Babies in backpacks Maggie Evans................................................................28–33

Spitting!..............................................................................38 Tired of tech?

Miriam McCaleb............................................................46–51

Why midwifery care in New Zealand is special Maria Scott.....................................................................52–57

Postnatal care: Know your entitlements Leigh Bredenkamp.......................................................58–61

Preserving your memories Resene creative team.................................................64–65

Birth story: Expect the unexpected Sophi Reinholt...............................................................66–71

What a good spread!

Rural Women New Zealand......................................72–76

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Product page..................................................................6–7 What have you heard?

Breastfeeding with Tania North...............................34–37

Parents Centre Pages............................................39–43 Find a Centre...................................................................44 Find out about Parents Centre..............................45 Enchanting young readers HUIA Publishing.............................................................62–63

Winners from the last issue.....................................77 Our partners..............................................................78–79 Giveaways..........................................................................80

SUPPORTING PARENTS THROUGH THE EARLY YEARS

OCTOBER – NOVEMBER 2019

292

In celebration of modern families Surrogacy – for all the right reasons | pages 20–26 For some people, the road to parenthood is not straightforward.

They have to seek alternative ways to create families of their own if they can’t conceive. One option is surrogacy, but the process can be expensive, complicated and overwhelming. Surrogate mum Aleisha Hart and dads Christian Newman and Mark Edwards share their story.

Sleep changes our lives | pages 14–19 Sleep/wake functioning is fundamental to human health and wellbeing. It is a basic need, as essential as food, water and air.

It is only in that last 60–70 years that we have started to study and understand sleep, its functions and its relationship to waking.

The so-called “other third of life” is proving to be a very busy and interesting part of our 24-hour rhythms.

Postnatal care: Know your entitlements | pages 58–61 In New Zealand, women are fully funded for 48 hours of postnatal care at the facility of their choice – but not all mothers realise this, and many end up going home from hospital before they are ready. Giving parents the tools to make the right decisions and the opportunity to form a loving, nurturing attachment with their baby is at the heart of postnatal care.

Kiwiparent. Since 1954. The magazine of Parents Centre New Zealand Inc Editor

Publisher

Leigh Bredenkamp Ph (04) 472 1193 Mobile (0274) 572 821 leighb@e–borne.co.nz PO Box 28 115, Kelburn, 6150

Parents Centres New Zealand Inc Ph (04) 233 2022

Editorial Enquiries Ph (04) 233 2022 or (04) 472 1193 info@e–borne.co.nz

Advertising Sales Catherine Short Ph (04) 233 2022 x8805 c.short@parentscentre.org.nz

Design Hannah Faulke edendesign.nz

Proofing Megan Kelly

Subscriptions info@parentscentre.org.nz

Opinions expressed in the magazine do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the publisher. Advertising in this magazine does not imply endorsement by Parents Centres. Generally material in this publication may be reproduced provided it is used for non-commercial purposes and the source is acknowledged. However, written permission must be sought from the editor.

Kiwiparent is proud to support the WHO/UNICEF International Code of Marketing of Breastmilk Substitutes adopted by the World Health Assembly in 1981.

ISSN 1173–7638

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Congratulations to MP Ta-mati Coffey and his partner Tim Smith who welcomed the birth of their son Tu-ta-nekai in July. Their baby was carried by a surrogate, the pregnancy announced at Auckland's Big Gay Out. Friends and wha-nau gathered to welcome the arrival, born at the birthing centre at Te Awamutu. “He’s here. And he came into this world surrounded by his village,” Ta-mati said in an Instagram post. “Mum doing awesome. Dads overwhelmed at the miracle of life.”

Surrogacy is an amazing act of generosity which enables couples who are unable to have children to attain their hearts' desire – a baby of their own. In this issue, another very special extended family shares their story with us; Aleisha Hart was the surrogate mum for dads Christian Newman and Mark Edwards – last year little Francis was born into a very modern family.

We have a unique maternity model in New Zealand; a system that puts the mother and her wha-nau at the centre of all decision-making. Parents Centre was at the forefront of lobbying for birth to be considered less a medical procedure to be handed over to the doctors and nurses, but rather a natural event where women could be trusted and enabled to bring new life into the world.

Back in the 1950s, Parents Centre pioneers lobbied for things we now take for granted – the right of fathers and support people to attend the birth, for parents to stay with their sick children when hospitalised and the right of women to decide on ‘natural’ childbirth. These things were considered radical and unsafe back then but are now enshrined as an intrinsic part our maternity system in Aotearoa.

Over time, we have come to understand just how important it is for new mothers to be cherished and supported after they give birth. The first hours and days are unrepeatable times for the new baby to bond with mum, as well as dads and the wider wha-nau. A well-rested and supported mother will find it easier to establish breastfeeding, and if it is difficult, lactation consultants will be on hand to assist.

A bit of encouragement and support at this pivotal time is essential to give families the right start on their parenting journey.

MP Louise Upston has a private member's bill pushing for policy to enable women to stay in hospital for up to three days, rather than the 48 hours currently contracted. That extra day could make the world of difference to a new family adjusting to the realities of parenthood.

Leigh Bredenkamp

Caxton Design and Print

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Letters

to the editor

The winning letter receives the complete Natural Instinct face care range, truly natural skincare products with active anti-ageing plant-based ingredients and 100% free from over 400 potentially harmful ingredients to you and the environment. Available from leading pharmacies. RRP $102.

Top Letter

Congratulations to the Top Letter winner Rob McCann from Wellington who will win a prize pack from Natural Instinct.

Top letter prize

Reaching for a new normal

Flower power

White Ribbon knows that our youth are the key to changing the cycle of violence in New Zealand, and as we have seen in recent years, they are ready to take on leadership as changemakers in society.

To support this transformation, it is vital for adults connected with youth to role model the attitudes and behaviours we need to embed as the new normal.

Colour your world – or even just your neighbourhood!

The call is out to New Zealanders to bring back flowers and create a riot of colour in gardens this October for National Gardening Week, 21–28 October 2019.

Now is the time for us all to step up. Talk to your children about respectful relationships and support them to build a better New Zealand, where men’s violence towards women is only a memory.

To find out more about White Ribbon events in your community, visit: www.whiteribbon.org.nz Rob McCann, White Ribbon Manager Photo: www.whiteribbon.org.nz

Flowers are not just decorative. They provide food for the bees and butterflies. They taste good in salads and teas, and for centuries flowers have been used to heal.

National Gardening Week aims to foster a love of gardening with a focus on growing not only plants but friendships, good health, strong communities and closer connections with nature. Whether it’s a few pots on the balcony, a small patch or an extensive garden, everyone can experience the joy of gardening. www.yates.co.nz/nationalgardening

Conscious parenting – want to know more?

Check out upcoming programmes at your local Parents Centre: www.parentscentre.org.nz Browse through the resources here: www.skip.org.nz Join ‘Conscious Parenting’ pages and groups on Facebook online and read, read, read!

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Free Baby Show a winner We had a fabulous time at the Baby Show and met lots of expectant and new parents from Auckland and the surrounding area – some coming all the way from the Hawke's Bay. Huge thanks go out to our volunteers from West Auckland, Central Auckland, East and Bays, and Onewa Parent Centres for running the stand at the Baby Show. We received lots of new enquiries about our classes and estimate that we spoke to over 1,500 people over the three days.

join us &

Thanks also to all the people who came to talk to us, share their experiences of Parents Centre, find out more about the services in their area or enter our prize draw (see page 41 for winners). We are extremely grateful to Philips Avent for sponsoring the Parents Centre / Philips Avent Parents Room. 

share

Cath Short and Kim Black, Parents Centres New Zealand

Below right: Kim Black from National Support Centre and Childbirth Educator Cheryl Tinholt handing out complimentary Kiwiparent magazines and Huggies wipes at the Parents Centre stand.

Free stuff

Regular prize draws, free product samples, competitions to win, and tailored info emails for your stage.

Know how

Access a wealth of resources— all in one place! There’s useful information, links, contacts & more.

Connect

Find and interact with others at your stage.

Ask questions. Give answers. Share your story or knowledge on our Facebook page!

LY PRIZE D TH

WIN! over

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Below left: Kim Black from National Support Centre catching up with one of our members.

a wealth of benefits with others

$1500

simply join & enter at: bounty.co.nz RATING EB

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Left: Joan Fourie and Eliza Sautner from East and Bays Parents Centre with Anastasia, one of the younger volunteers.

Y EAR S!

/bountypacksnz The magazine of Parents Centre

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Product

information

Cadenshae activewear for nursing mums Cadenshae's stylish and supportive maternity activewear allows you to live your day-to-day life as a busy mum with ease.

All our bras, tops and cosy hoodies give you the freedom to feed your baby when and where they need it, while our medically endorsed leggings keep both pregnant and postpartum tummies incredibly comfortable and secure.

So, get out there! Go run, walk or go to that CrossFit class, knowing Cadenshae has you covered... literally. www.cadenshae.co.nz

Boba stretchy wrap The Boba Wrap is the ideal carrier for babies from birth. Simply tie the material snug against your body and achieve a perfect fit every time. It is perfect for beginners and advanced babywearers alike.

We think it is the best option for a stretchy wrap – lovely quality at a great price. The simple design of this stretchy baby wrap, free of buckles, straps or buttons makes it perfectly comfortable for both you and your baby.

By evenly distributing the weight of your child, there is no time limit to how long your baby can stay in the wrap, so you may calm and soothe your baby with your warmth, your voice, your movement and your heartbeat as long as you are both content!

There are a number of ways you can tie your Boba Wrap, depending on what you find comfortable and the age of your baby. The Boba Wrap fits all size adults too, so it's perfect for getting a comfortable fit regardless of your size, and can fit both parents perfectly.

Wear your Boba Wrap around the house, out and about, for discreet and comfortable breastfeeding when you are out too. RRP $89.95 Parents Centre member code can be used on this item. www.thesleepstore.co.nz

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Toddler cups from Philips Avent The Philips Avent range of toddler cups have specifically designed features for the various developmental stages of a toddler’s journey to independent drinking.

The Easy Sip cup with its flexible soft silicone spout for easy drinking and easy-grip handles makes it the perfect first choice. The new leak-proof My Grippy Soft Spout cup with its bite-resistant angled soft spout and easy-grip curved bottle shape is an ideal cup progression for toddlers around 9 months who have more developed mouth muscles and pincer grip.

For older toddlers around 12 months of age, the Bendy Straw Cup is a perfect choice.

Zuru ballons Save time and your breath with ZURU Bunch O Balloons Self-Sealing Party Balloons! Fill, tie and string up to 40 party balloons in just 40 seconds! There's no more blowing, no more tying and no need to add ribbon or string! Simply attach the stems to our Electric Party Pump nozzle and press GO!

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Our favourite photo

What an amazing surprise to have won the Coverstar competition! We belong to Manukau Parents Centre where we attended antenatal and Baby and You classes which were really great and taught us a lot. I saw the competition advertised in Kiwiparent so thought I would send in my favourite photo of the three of us enjoying a family cuddle when Hazel was just ten days old.

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We had arranged for a photographer, Tanja van den Berg from Pretty Mint Photography, to come to our home to take some candid shots of us (and our dog Mason!) and this is the photo I loved the most.

Tanja was obviously used to tiny babies – and dogs – and helped us to relax. I love the photos from this time so much and am delighted that the competition judges liked our entry as well.

Winning photo

Photos from the Huggies photoshoot.

Winners of the Huggies coverstar photo competition Elodie Fontaine, Ken Pereira and baby Hazel Pereira.

Our story to this point starts with a happy coincidence.

In 2014 I arrived in New Zealand from Belgium for what was supposed to be just a year of travel and adventure.

I met Ken in my very first week in the country! Ken is originally from India and had been living in New Zealand for about ten years at this point but was due to move back home by the end of the year. I followed Ken when he returned to India and lived there for a few months, then we decided that New Zealand was the place we wanted to be – and we have now lived here for four years in both Wellington and Auckland.

When we found out I was pregnant, we decided that we wanted to have the most natural birth possible and my midwife recommended looking into hypnobirthing.

We subscribed for an online course and Ken worked hard alongside me to learn how to be a good coach for the birth. My pregnancy went well, and I was able to carry on working all the way through. I was due on the 18th of May and I had decided to keep working until the 10th, which would give me a week at home before baby arrived. At the start of my last week at work I was feeling rather tired and experiencing lots of small contractions – but this was nothing unusual as it had been happening for a while. I decided to stop working a few days early and spent the day saying goodbye to my colleagues and handing over my projects before heading off on maternity leave.

After work, I got in the car with Ken to drive home and realised that the contractions seemed quite regular.

On the journey home I timed the contractions and we discovered that they were coming every five to six minutes. I rang my midwife who confirmed that I was in labour and she suggested I stay home and get some rest until the contractions were closer together.

At 6:00 the next morning we drove to the Botany Downs Maternity Unit.

A few hours later at 9:58am Hazel arrived safely in the birthing pool. Ken was a fantastic birth companion and supported me through the whole thing. I feel very lucky to have had him by my side. Everything went to plan; it was exactly the birth we had planned and wanted.

My midwife said she had never before seen such a calm and relaxed baby, as Hazel fell asleep and started snoring softly on my chest a couple of minutes after she was born. A student midwife was also in attendance and she took some wonderful photos for us, so we have beautiful memories of this very special time.

Continued overleaf...

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I had some difficulty delivering the placenta, so Hazel had skin-to-skin contact with her dad while the midwife saw to me. This was such a special time for both Ken and Hazel.

It isn’t always easy Adjusting to becoming a mum has been hard for me.

I have suffered with anxiety and depression before, so I knew that I would be at higher risk of developing preand postnatal depression. I struggled with anxiety and depression from the first trimester of my pregnancy as those hormones started raging, so was referred to Maternal Mental Health services and the health support I have had has been amazing. They helped me through my pregnancy journey and the later months of my pregnancy were fine.

Those first few weeks after Hazel was born were really hard, even though Ken was absolutely fantastic. I knew I was so lucky to have a beautiful daughter and a loving and supportive partner, but I just felt so sad and alone.

On bad days I thought I was the only mother that felt like this. The guilt was terrible.

But I am so lucky to live here in Auckland: thanks to Maternal Mental Health I have had professionals to help me at every step of the way. I have been wrapped around with care from a range of services and this has made all the difference. When I talk to family overseas, they agree that this is something special and not available to families everywhere. Now, after three months, I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It has been really hard, but I know I am getting better.

We decided it was important to share this side of our journey as the happy pictures don’t always give the full story. Ken and I know that the only way to break down barriers and impossible stereotypes about parents is to speak out. It is helpful knowing that others can feel depressed too – but that the support you get when you reach out and ask for help is wonderful.

Elodie Fontaine Photos: www.facebook.com/prettymintphotos www.prettymintphotography.com

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Worth capturing, because there’s nothing like a hug

The magazine of Parents Centre ® Registered Trademark Kimberly-Clark Worldwide, Inc. © KCWW

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Vanessa Campb

Elle Kn

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Another year of amazing hugs

Jess Ritchie

Like last year, the response to this year’s Huggies Kiwiparent Coverstar competition was heart-warming.

We want to shout a BIG THANK YOU to everyone – mums, dads and bubs alike, for their time and enthusiasm in sharing their special moments with us. Many entries were received but we knew there could be only one winner. We were down to a shortlist.

Finally, with the slimmest of margins, the judges decided. The winning entry came from the family photo of Elodie Fontaine, Ken Pereira and baby Hazel Pereira. The winning pose was their favourite image of the family, taken at a newborn shoot they did when Hazel was just ten days old (shot by photographer Tanja Vermeulen of Pretty Mint Photography).

aff Kylie Eavest

Elodie chose the image to submit for the competition because it conveys the love and happiness they feel for each other. To the eyes of the judges from Huggies, Resolution Media and Ogilvy the overall tipping point was the extension of warmth across mum, dad and baby.

The winning shot portrayed a lighthearted, not too serious, warm and loving family moment.

Maria Dotchin

Of course, there were many other entries that showed similar impressions, but on the day, there could only be one! To Elodie, Ken and Hazel, huge congrats!

And to everyone who shared their wonderful and beautiful moments, we hope you have enjoyed the experience of bonding with your special ones.  from the HUGGIES® Team

Jessie Tyle r

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land Tracey Suther

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Sleep

changes our lives

In the weeks and days leading up to the arrival of our baby or babies, much of the focus is on The Birth. In reality, the birth experience is usually complete within a day (or two) and then, without the assistance of any divine guidebook or intervention, we are left to muddle our way through the rest of our parenting lives.

In those first months, attending to basic needs keep us on our toes – how do we feed this little one (let alone ourselves), how do we conjure up sleep and how do we sustain this tiny life? Yikes – no pressure!

For the last several thousand years, human science and medicine have largely focused on functions associated with waking. It is really only in that last 60–70 years that we have started to study and understand sleep, its functions and its relationship to waking. The so called “other third of life” is proving to be a very busy and interesting part of our 24-hour rhythms.

Fundamental to wellbeing Sleep/wake functioning is fundamental to human health and wellbeing. Sleep is a basic need, as essential as food, water and air. Dr Daniel Buysse, sleep medicine specialist, psychiatrist and sleep researcher, defines sleep health as a pattern of “sleep-wakefulness” which adapts to our individual environments (including our social environment).

Sleep is a basic need, as essential as food, water and air.

Continued overleaf...

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Dr Buysse describes sleep health as having five dimensions: Having a sense of satisfaction with your sleep.

A ppropriate timing – humans are biologically programmed to sleep at night and be active during the day.

Adequate duration – getting the right amount of sleep for our age and stage of life.

High efficiency – managing to be asleep for most of the time you are in bed expecting to sleep.

Feeling alert throughout the day.

Sleep changes across our lives, so that sleep in a twoweek-old baby is different to a six-week-old and a twoyear-old. Sleep in teens is very different to adult sleep and sleep in older adults changes again. Sleep also changes with life stages and events such as pregnancy, in times of stress or loss, and when we travel or make daylight savings adjustments time twice a year.

The sleep of an individual person will vary across the nights of a week and sleep also varies from one person to another. The differences in sleep for one baby and between babies are even more varied and this is one reason comparing one baby’s sleep to another’s can be a source of self-inflicted pain!

One of the reasons I have been captivated by the sleep/wake realm for the last decade is because it is something we might be able to influence for our own health. Sleep is what we call “transdiagnostic”.

This means that improvements in sleep have the potential to positively influence across dimensions of human health including biological, psychological and social.

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Links between sleep and health Good sleep appears to be linked to so many aspects of health. Optimal sleep health contributes to physical aspects of fertility, pregnancy health, birth outcomes including lower risk of preterm birth, length of labour and risk of caesarean section, and postpartum weight loss.

Good sleep health also supports mood, our ability to read emotions and communicate effectively (very helpful between parents of small children), and our capacity to handle the ups and downs of family life.

All of these can buffer us from distress in pregnancy and early parenting. Adults and children who experience adverse life events are supported in their healing by a combination of factors including exercise/activity, balanced nutrition, mindfulness, healthy relationships and sleep.

Research with over 800 Dunedin families, carried out

by Professor Rachel Taylor and colleagues at Otago University, has demonstrated links between infant sleep and increased weight in childhood. Rapid weight gain in the first three years appears to be linked to obesity in later life, so assisting parents with optimising infant sleep could be an effective contribution to this significant problem in New Zealand health.

A 2017 paper published in the highly esteemed scientific journal “Nature” showed a link between infant use of touchscreens (such as smartphones and tablets) and poorer night-time sleep amount and timing, something to keep in mind when screens are all around us. The screens on our gadgets give out a lot of blue light, and blue light has a role in blocking the release of melatonin, a very important hormone related

Sleep is so often underrated for parents and I am constantly encouraging people to prioritise sleep – just like food, water and air!

to sleep, body clock function, immunity, reproduction and other essential physiological processes.

The Sleep/Wake Research Centre at Massey University in Wellington has undertaken a number of studies aimed at beginning to understand how sleep changes around pregnancy and the early postnatal months in New Zealand women. Over 1,100 women participated in a survey study of their sleep, general and mental health in late pregnancy and up to three months postpartum. A large number of women have remained in the study and completed follow-up questionnaires when their children were three years old.

Two interventions have also been trialled – one aimed at supporting sleep health in pregnant women with a history of depression and the other aimed at promoting sleep in mother-infant pairs in the first three months after birth. Both trials have had positive results and are due to be published in the next year. One finding of the survey study is that pregnant women sleep on average 30 minutes less a night when compared to women in the general New Zealand population. We understand

Continued overleaf...

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If I could, I would prescribe downtime and sleep opportunities to all parents, but especially to new mothers!

chooses) and recovering from birth are important first steps before focusing too much on shaping a baby’s sleep.

If I could, I would prescribe downtime and sleep opportunities to all parents, but especially to new mothers! These can include sitting with feet up for a while, napping (if sleep arrives but not feeling frustrated if it doesn’t), being able to hop into bed earlier in the evening than usual to catch some sleep before night feeds or sleeping in later than usual in the morning.

that some of the effects of sleep loss accumulate over time, so it is likely many women go into labour already sleep-deprived.

Many of us find it so hard to not be “doing” that napping, resting or extending bed hours somehow seems lazy or indulgent. In fact, these things might just be necessary for your sleep health and enjoyment of parenting. 

Another interesting finding has been that women seem to be less likely to seek help for their mood, anxiety and physical symptoms, such as ongoing birth-related pain or incontinence. Women who had experience of low mood or anxiety were more likely to report seeking help prior to their pregnancy but not during or since pregnancy. Perhaps this is about access, time, money and just plain energy to make a doctor’s appointment.

Perhaps many women also assume that these things are just part of having a baby and put up with unnecessary distressing symptoms far longer than they need to.

It also seems that women who experience very large changes in their normal sleep satisfaction and duration from before pregnancy, and/or women whose sleep continues to get worse well after birth are more likely to experience low mood and anxiety symptoms. Sleep is so often underrated for parents and I am constantly encouraging people to prioritise sleep – just like food, water and air.

In the mother-baby trial previously mentioned, mothers and babies had their sleep monitored using a special watch-like device. From this it was possible to see that many mums were being woken by their baby between one and four times a night when the babies were three months old and this is perfectly normal infant behaviour!

The average number of times the babies woke at night was three (with night being counted as the hours from 9pm to 9am). Baby’s internal body clocks and the systems that help them sustain long periods of sleep at night take time to come “online” after birth. Paying attention to establishing feeding (however a family

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Dr Bronwyn Sweeney Bronwyn has been associated with Parents Centres since 1991.

She has been a childbirth educator and currently works in sleep research and as a clinical psychologist with special interests in perinatal mental health and in treating adults with chronic insomnia.

Bronwyn is a sleep enthusiast who believes sleep is a neglected pillar of health. Given the chance, she will talk about the topic incessantly until her audience slip into silent slumber.

PLACE baby in his or her own baby bed, face clear of bedding P lacing baby in a baby bed, face clear of bedding, helps protect baby from SUDI Make sure there are no pillows or toys in the baby bed Make sure that the bedding does not cover baby’s face M ake sure the mattress is firm and there are no gaps between mattress and the sides of the baby bed

ELIMINATE smoking in pregnancy, and protect baby with a smoke-free wha-nau, whare and waka

Sleep baby

Eliminating smoking helps protect baby from SUDI

safely

Being smoke-free helps baby’s breathing

Sudden unexpected death in infancy (SUDI – also known as SIDS or cot death) is extremely rare for babies if the advice below is followed.

FO

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ONE ILIC ES AF

. DISHWASHER S

AFE

. FR EE ZE R

SA F E

Baby should never be placed to sleep on their side or tummy. In every place, for every sleep, check that baby is safe: Face up Face clear Smokefree.

There has been a lot of discussion around SUDI over the years. Parents Centre believes that it can best serve the needs of members by informing them of factors that are scientifically proven to reduce the risks to infants.

This is not to discredit or ignore alternative theories, but rather to recognise that however deeply felt, they require scientific validation to become fact.

Find out more: www.health.govt.nz

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There are no simple answers. It is up to parents to read widely around the topic and make their own decisions about what is best for their babies. Parents make decisions on the basis of common sense, needs and tradition as well as science. 

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Egg donor, Alisa Herrera-Hayman (so biological mother), surrogate mum Aleisha Hart and Dads Christian Newman and Mark Edwards with Francis.

Surrogacy Doing it for all the right reasons

For some people, the road to parenthood is not straightforward.

They have to seek alternative ways to create families of their own if they are not able to conceive in the usual way. One option is surrogacy, but the process can be expensive, complicated and overwhelming.

Surrogacy is legal in New Zealand if it is performed altruistically, where the surrogate donates her services selflessly, without any compensation other than reimbursement of any expenses. Commercial surrogacy, where the surrogate is paid in addition to having her expenses covered, is not legal.

We talk with surrogate mum Aleisha Hart and dads Christian Newman and Mark Edwards about their surrogacy journey which culminated in the birth of little Francis in 2018.

Aleisha’s story What made you consider surrogacy?

I had been contemplating egg donation for some time but was reluctant to get across the line.

It was something I was interested in but I couldn’t quite get there.

Then I saw the opportunity for surrogacy come up and it felt right, and I thought that this was actually something I could do. It felt positive and it felt right from the beginning.

My main feeling was why not?

I couldn’t think of a reason not to do this. I enjoy pregnancy and loved being pregnant, it allowed me to give a gift and I had no real responsibility after the baby was born. A win-win situation!

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“I’ve just been blown away by all the love near and far and I think I’ve made a pretty good life choice with what I’ve done.”

– Aliesha

So how did the process actually work?

The process was very in-depth and robust. Psychologist appointments, counsellors, lawyers, forms to fill in, phone calls, medical testing – and that was just to get to ethics approval. Red tape and roadblocks are the norm. Here is the first LARGE message Christian sent me, and I think he said it’s at that point often that people are put off or realise they can’t do it or it’s not for them!

Hey Aleisha, As promised, here is the info and things to think about that the counsellors will ask you.

As mentioned, the doctor has recommended, based on previous surrogates and also from what the Ethics Committee prefer, that we

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choose a surrogate that has had children before. The reason for this is for the safety of the surrogate, as first pregnancies can be difficult and challenging the first time.

They encourage surrogates to have understood and been through the process of childbirth before.

We would LOVE it if you would be our surrogate! We think you are an amazing woman and that we would get along really well. From our chat you come across as laid-back and personable which is really important for us.

(Ethics committee) and they (hopefully) approve it. The next meeting of ECART is Sept (I think) so we’re hoping to get sign-off by then. Finally, when all ducks are lined up, we have the embryo implanted and hopefully you get cooking.

It is quite a complicated and drawnout process, so before you make a decision, is there anything you want to know? Obviously, we will pay for everything including medicals and any expenses related to this whole journey.

If you’re still interested in helping us, we would need to arrange an appointment with Fertility Associates where you would have a medical check-up and also a counselling session.

The clinic will be able to advise around how many visits you need to have, what’s asked, how long the process is and how invasive it all is, but do you have any questions or hesitations with regard to if the first IVF fails or anything?

Once the initial medical and counselling sessions are done, the reports are sent to ECART

The one question we have, if you’re still keen to go ahead, is if the first round doesn’t take for some reason,

are you baby ready?

would you be willing to try a few times? I’ve heard of a couple that went through the whole process and after the first round failed, the surrogate had had enough and didn’t want to go through a second round.

I guess until you’re aware of the whole process this might be hard to say, but I guess we want to know in general how resilient you are.

What is the process?

1. Parents (Mark & Christian) will meet with the doctors and counsellors at Fertility Associates (F.A.) to get all the tests and make sure we’re of sound mind etc.

2. The surrogate will need to meet with F.A. doctors & counsellors and have tests etc as well.

They will ask lots of questions and check your medical history and family history etc.

3. If everything is all good, F.A. will write up our report and submit it to ECART for approval. If ECART approves our application then the IVF process starts.

Then the egg and sperm will create an embryo in the lab and will grow for five days before they freeze it.

Then when the surrogate is ready and the stars are aligned, F.A. will implant the embryo, and, hopefully, start growing the baby.

If the baby takes and you are able to give birth, then you would be the legal parent and you would have to sign over your rights via adoption.

You can’t do this until 12 days after the birth, however the courts can allow the parents to take the baby on day one.

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Things to consider if you want to be a surrogate: 1. How much do you want to be involved in future with our child (if any)?

2. Are there any significant things happening in your life now or in the future that mean you wouldn’t have support from your partner (are they away a lot for work etc)?

3. Are you happy to have as many treatments (of IVF to get the fertilised egg in) until it’s successful?

4. Is there any history of mental illness or medical issues in the family etc?

5. If there is an abnormality with the child would you be ok to terminate?

Anyway, lots of questions and lots to think about, so please let us know when you’re ready what you think and if you’re still keen.

Have a great week. Chat soon.

Christian xx

How did you decide that Christian and Mark would be the couple you felt confident to partner with?

Again, it was an initial gut reaction.

I also hadn’t actively looked for anyone – it was the fact I came across them by accident that led to my interest. It went smoothly and we got along, there was no hesitation.

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How did you feel when Francis was born?

I had a very traumatic long labour.

It was difficult not having my own support person present, but the guys were great. I was privileged to have a private obstetrician and the service was second to none.

I definitely had mixed emotions at birth. I was obviously trying to enjoy the time and take it all in but also watch from a distance. It was very overwhelming, all the responses and messages from people. Christian and Mark stayed with me in the room though which was nice, and after the birth I expressed colostrum for Francis.

There were highs and some lows, but it was mostly very positive and a time in my life I will never forget.

I loved Francis at first sight just like my other children, but there was never a time I thought he should be mine to take home.

It was interesting working through the logistics – for example, it was complicated getting permission for a man to stay in the labour ward to look after his new baby. We also had to seek permission so Christian and Mark were able to take custody immediately, which we thought was best for everyone!

We could definitely write a book about it all, but there were no insurmountable difficulties for me.

I understand the legal process is quite convoluted… how did this affect you and the dads?

I think the legal process was more stressful for them as they had to prove themselves and have prior adoption consent. This took a lot of time and was costly. The delay

meant I was the legal guardian of Francis while I was pregnant and for nine months post birth. This did not really safeguard any of us and was also simply wrong. We felt the ethics approval and the reality of me having an embryo implanted which wasn’t my biological yet WAS biological of one of the Dads should void the process of adoption.

Would you do it again?

Would you encourage others to become surrogates?

I have other goals and priorities now, but I would recommend the process.

It is a large chunk of your life which can have a big impact on many people around you. It’s not just like

volunteering to do the sausage sizzle at school!

What was the most fulfilling part of your surrogacy journey?

It has been fulfilling throughout the whole journey and wonderful to hear the nice words people say.

Also, to now look at Francis and see the joy he brings – I think he is here because I made a decision to do something. So many people say they wish they had done something or “I thought about doing that”.

I didn’t want to have those regrets – surrogacy is something I have done, something I’m part of!

A legacy if you like ...

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Christian and Mark's story What led you to consider surrogacy?

Unfortunately, we aren’t able to have children ourselves, so that leaves the adoption route or surrogacy. Adoption in New Zealand is very limited and there is no guarantee that we would actually get to adopt. So, we had a better chance with surrogacy, and we had more control over this, to ensure we could start a family.

How did the process work – were there barriers?

There were so many barriers.

1. Finding a surrogate 2. Finding an egg donor 3. Going through ethics committee to get approval 4. Getting pregnant 5. Adopting our own child 6. Cost constraints, red tape, timing, unknowns etc...

How did you decide that Aleisha would be the best woman to carry your child?

Aleisha ticked all the boxes. She was young, fit, had finished her family, lived in Auckland, was an amazing

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“People love that we’re clearing the way for them to have children in the future and we’re removing the barriers, not only cost but whether it be two names on a birth certificate, two fathers on a birth certificate, or finding a surrogate, there’s so many different avenues and options out there now for same sex couples.”

– Christian Newman

woman who spent a lot of time giving back and she was doing it all for the right reasons.

Did you both feel included in the pregnancy and birth process?

Yes, we were fully involved from start to finish. It was amazing and Aleisha was so open and easy, which made everything perfect.

I understand the legal process affect you as parents…

Yes, when our child was born, we were not legally his fathers.

We had to adopt Frankie from his ‘birth’ mother even though she was not related to him at all.

What advice would you give to others who wish to have a baby with a surrogate mother?

It is a long and expensive process.

Be ready to roll with the punches as there are a lot of them. But there is nothing better than having your own

child in your arms and being a parent.

What was the most difficult part of your journey to parenthood?

Not having the control of the process. Everyone else had to decide whether or not we could be parents.

It was absolutely ridiculous!

What was the most fulfilling part of your journey to parenthood?

Having a whole new family – Aleisha’s family are so amazing and we are pretty close now, which is a really fabulous bonus!  Christian Newman and Mark Edwards

Photos: Professional pics, Renaye McLachlan Photography Auckland

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instagram.com/thesleepstore The magazine of Parents Centre

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Babies

in backpacks

Start 'em young!

Before becoming a mum, a big part of how I identified myself was as a long-distance trail runner and tramper. Not surprisingly, one of my biggest concerns about welcoming a little human into my life was not being able to get out and enjoy the backcountry as much or in the same capacity.

Getting out on the tracks was what I used to do with every bit of free time I could wrangle, which was often limited to early mornings and weekends. I became rather adept at ‘super-tramping’, which is what my husband and I started calling multi-day tramps that we would do in a day, like the Milford, Kepler and Humpridge tracks.

Now that I’m a year into being a full-time mum, it’s true that I’m not getting out and tramping in the same capacity as before. But now that I’m not restricted to just early mornings and weekends, I do find myself spending way more time on the trails than ever before, and my little boy Huxley is with me every step of the way.

I actually find tramping with Huxley one of the easiest and most enjoyable parts of parenting, since not only do I get to play on the trails, but I also get to enjoy free hands, beautiful views, endorphins, time with friends,

and perhaps best of all, a break from the mundanity of managing, corralling and entertaining little Huxley as intensively as when we’re at home.

I think there are two main reasons I find it so easy and enjoyable. Firstly, Huxley is super content in the carrier and can nap really well in it, and secondly, I’m fit enough to enjoy the trails despite carrying the extra baby (and baby paraphernalia) weight. Both of these ‘prerequisites’ are most easily met when you start tramping with your little one from the get-go, since newborns are far more adaptable and lighter than toddlers.

It’s still possible to start tramping with older bubs, but it might take a while to get both them and you comfortable and happy with it. Perhaps the only other important skill that comes in handy when tramping with little people is patience, which is probably true for all aspects of parenting.

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Left: Crossing the Huxley river on the way to Huxley Forks Hut. Above: Huxley and mum picnicking atop Isthmus Peak.

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Even though I find it easy to put Huxley in a pack and go play on the trails now, I was very intimidated at the beginning. Everything was so new, and Huxley seemed so fragile when he was first born. Before we even stepped foot on a trail, I carried him in a frontpack around the house during his naps to get us both used to the idea. He initially only took to the frontpack when he was sleeping, so I always timed walks to coincide with his naps.

Over time, I got used to him waking up at inopportune times mid-walk, which usually meant he’d start crying, so I got very comfortable nursing him wherever I was.

If he got grizzly when I tried putting him back in the pack, I sometimes just carried him all the way back home or to the car in my arms. I didn’t consider that a reason to stop heading out, since I still enjoyed it even when things didn’t go perfectly smoothly. Things never go perfectly smoothly with babies!

Our first overnight tramp By the time he was three months old, I felt pretty ready to trial an overnight tramp up the Matukituki Valley to Cascade Hut. It’s only about 7–8km from the carpark along a very well-formed track, and it’s a New Zealand Alpine Club hut that you can book in advance and know you’ll have to yourself, so we thought it was a perfect trial destination.

The real challenge was that it was in the middle of winter and we knew it would fall below zero degrees

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Clockwise from bottom left: 1. T hree-month-old Huxley with Dad (Matthew Evans) outside Cascade Hut in the Matukituki Valley; 2. E njoying a coffee break with Jo Stilwell and David Norton on the Corner Peak route; 3. H eading out the Cameron Valley in Makarora after an overnight tramp to Cameron Hut; 4. T rying to keep warm by the fire inside Cascade Hut.

as soon as the sun set. I carried Huxley in a front pack, and also carried a 40L pack on my back with our lighter and bulkier gear, like our winter sleeping bags, and my husband carried a 70L pack with all of our other stuff. And even though Huxley was layered in warm woollies and getting my body warmth, we also kept him in a snowsuit to ensure he stayed extra warm and, more importantly, dry – it’s easy for them to get wet from your body sweat. Huxley slept most of the way to the hut, which we had planned, so the walk in went really smoothly. It was at the hut that we felt the real challenge of keeping him warm started.

We immediately got the fire going, which was pretty drafty and barely emitted heat beyond a metre.

Little Huxley has become quite the hut- and peak-bagger, and I’ve become one super-happy mum!

We did all his nappy changes as close to it as we could, and we pulled the chairs right in front of it to feel as much of its warmth as possible while we lounged and dined. And even though our original sleeping plan was to bundle Huxley up in lots of warm woollies, swaddle him, and then use one of our down jackets

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Left: Huxley in front of the Rob Roy Glacier.

Right: Enjoying the winter sunshine during a riverside nappy change in the Matukituki Valley.

Below: A frosty morning start back to the car from Cascade Hut with sleeping Huxley in the front pack.

We upgraded to a framed carrier when he was just shy of seven months old, which was another complete game-changer for us. Once he was on my back and I could use a trekking pole I felt like we could really tackle any route, since it really wasn’t all too different from carrying a heavy overnight pack. as a sleeping bag for him, I ended up co-sleeping with him during the night since once we realised we wouldn’t be able to keep the hungry fire going all night, we got worried he’d be too cold otherwise. It felt like a small victory to make it through the night without getting too cold or feeling like I was awake the entire time.

The morning was pretty rough since everything was frosty and miserably cold, but after a hot breakfast and some coffee we were in better spirits. We packed up our things and timed our walk back to the car during Huxley’s morning nap, which meant everything was still completely in shade and frozen outside.

When the sun finally made it into the valley, melting the frosted ground and warming our cold-kissed faces, we were all feeling the highs of a successful adventure and decided to embrace a beautiful riverside picnic in the sun at the foot of the snow-capped peaks. Had it not been winter, I don’t think our first tramp with Huxley would have felt nearly as adventurous or challenging or rewarding.

Another milestone Another big milestone for me was when Huxley was about four to five months old and able to face outwards in the frontpack, since that’s when he became as happy as could be whether awake or asleep. I started heading out on all-day adventures with him, flipping him back and forth from front-facing during naps to outward-facing during wakeful bouts, and nursing him in between. Not having to time walks with his naps was such a relief and made everything feel less logistically complicated.

It was so nice being able to spend the whole day tramping. I carried a normal day pack on my back with everything we needed, like nappies and backup clothes, food and water. We started climbing bigger and bigger mountains and covering longer and longer distances.

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Within a month of switching to the backpack, we embraced a 30km mountain traverse, starting up the steep and exposed Breast Hill Track to Pakituhi Hut, and then along the tops to Breast peak and Grandview peak, and then finally back down along the Grandview Creek Track. We had to stop a few extra times so Huxley could enjoy a romp, and there were moments when I had to give him blueberries or cherry tomatoes to keep him happy towards the end, but overall it was a joyful ten-hour day.

Over the months since then, we’ve continued to embrace long days, steep climbs, rough tracks, overnight adventures, and many, many happy tramping days. Little Huxley has become quite the hut- and peak-bagger, and I’ve become one super-happy mum! 

Maggie Evans Maggie is a member of the New Zealand Alpine Club, and lives in Hawea with her son and husband.

She’s also an active member of the Babes in Backpacks – Wanaka group.

This article is part of FMC’s Outdoor Community campaign, celebrating and encouraging Family Tramping. Maggie is one of the 22,000 members of the Federated Mountain Clubs of New Zealand. FMC is a non-profit organisation which advocates on behalf of its members for wise management of our public lands, and the recreational opportunities they provide.

Find out more at the FMC website: www.wilderlife.nz

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What have

you heard?

Food and drink when you’re breastfeeding

“What can’t we eat or drink while breastfeeding?” This is the question I get asked at every antenatal class I facilitate.

On getting the news that they are pregnant, mums get all the information on dos and don’ts during pregnancy. One of those is a brochure and information on Safe eating / food preparation.

Don’t drink alcohol. Don’t smoke.

Don’t eat undercooked or raw fish, raw eggs, unpasteurised milk, cheese, etc. We do know that some things we ingest during pregnancy can affect the development of baby.

However, what about once baby is in our arms and we start our breastfeeding journey – what are the dos and don’ts then?

Good news! Once your baby is born, everything is back on the menu (excluding drugs, smoking and some medication). Let’s be honest, either you or someone you know has had their partner bring that food they have been missing for the last nine months into the birthing centre – sushi – cold shaved ham sandwiches etc.

Let’s start with food What have you heard? Some of my new mums shared with me some of the things they had been told about what to eat or not to eat during breastfeeding. “ Your baby can have green poop because you eat too many greens.” “ My Mum told me not to eat onion, cabbage or lemonade.”

“ My osteo told me to stay away from bananas and tomatoes.” “ If you have a fussy baby at about 3pm, Mum said you should have half a Guinness.”

So, I asked them what they had then eliminated from their diet while breastfeeding. “ I eat everything. I eat whatever I want, whenever I want, including coffee and wine.” “ I can eat anything except peas – peas make my baby gassy.” “ I cut out dairy as I found it affected my baby’s reflux.” “ I thought chocolate might make my baby gassy – but luckily not!”

Babies are all individuals. Some babies can get gassy or windy when their mum eats certain foods, yet

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the same food doesn’t affect other babies. You won’t know this until you eat that food. It’s all about getting to know your baby.

relaxing with a nice glass of wine or cold beer with your partner at the end of a day. Mums shouldn’t deprive themselves of any of those.

As I have already mentioned, smoking, drugs and some medication shouldn’t be ingested while breastfeeding. If you do need medication, remember to advise your GP that you are breastfeeding to find out if it is safe.

If your baby is giving you a good two to three hours between feeds, a standard glass of wine or half pint of beer after your last feed will have minimal, if any traces, in your milk two to three hours later. If you have two glasses, wait before feeding for approximately six or more hours.

So, a couple of nights a week having a standard glass of wine will not do your baby any harm.

What can I safely drink?

Alcohol and caffeine are much talked about topics within breastfeeding circles. Can I have a glass of wine while feeding?

Can I drink coffee? The answer is YES. You can do both safely.

Some mums can drink coffee a couple of times a day and there is no effect on baby. Some mums have a coffee only in the morning, others won’t have any as they feel their babies are “wired” from it.

Again, wait and see what works for your baby.

Being a new mum is hard work.

Tiring. Life changing. We all have our ways to relax. It might be having a massage, reading a book, going for a walk, taking a hot bubble bath, doing a workout at the gym – or even

It may be a month or so after baby is born before you get a good two to three hours between feeds, so it is recommended to wait until that point before having any alcohol.

If you have a special function to attend like a wedding or girls’ night out, again don’t deprive yourself.

Express enough milk for baby for approximately 24 hours. Head out – have a good time. Based on the amount you drink, you will need to pump and dump the next day.

Everyone’s breastfeeding journey is different. Some have challenges at the start. But once you’ve found your groove, enjoy it. 

Tania North Tania is a Childbirth Educator for Manakau Parents Centre as well as for other Auckland centres. Tania fills in when people are away or when a centre needs a CBE. She also facilitates Baby and You classes and is influential in forming Parents Centre coffee groups. Tania has three children of her own – her favourite piece of advice to first-time mothers is “nobody knows your baby better than you do”.

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Spitting!

Spitting is often a way for kids to get more of your attention. How you react will affect how long this unpleasant habit sticks around. Here are some strategies for stopping spitting in its tracks.

Try ignoring it You may find spitting pretty gross, but it’s usually a bid for attention. You could try ignoring it – kids often get sick of spitting if they’re not getting a reaction.

The bigger deal you make of the behaviour, the more kids learn it to repeat it.

Try to understand why they are spitting Think about what they might be associating spitting with. Does anyone around them spit? Is it just a copied behaviour? Ask them why they are spitting – it might be to get rid of a nasty taste or excess mucus. Ask them if they have got a sore throat. Do they need a tissue?

Try leaving the room If you can’t bear to ignore the spitting, try telling them you don’t like it and leave the room. Most kids don’t like to be on their own for too long, so if you do this every time they spit, they might get the message.

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Send them to a place where it is ok to spit If they’re spitting at you, tell them that you don’t like it and if they need to spit, they have to go outside, or to the toilet/bathroom. Teeth cleaning is a great time to encourage ‘ok’ spitting by saying “here, this is the right place to spit”.

Give them lots of positive attention when they’re not spitting If you ‘feed’ the behaviour you do want with praise and encouragement and starve the behaviour you don’t like by ignoring, the spitting should eventually disappear.

Be specific with your praise: “Wow you worked hard on that picture” or “thank you for helping me clean your teeth”.

Be patient and wait it out Spitting can be an unpleasant phase, but it usually doesn’t last for long, especially if you try not to make too big a deal of it. www.skip.org.nz 

In this section A new look for Parents Centre Animal fun in Balclutha

Supporting parents through the early years because great parents grow great children Parents Centres is renowned for parent education programmes. What are not always so well-known are the huge range of support networks and advice available to parents.

Big Latch On Spotlight on Baby and You classes Find a Centre Photo: Balclutha Parents Centre members.

One of the most important sources of support can be your original antenatal group. These often stay together and form ‘coffee groups’ – better described as ‘counselling groups’ at times! We all go through enormous life adjustments with the birth of our first babies and the support and advice from other parents can be invaluable.

Time and again we hear that these support networks have been a ‘lifesaver’ for many parents at what is a time of huge adjustment and uncertainty. These groups of parents often form firm friendships which can carry on for years – even decades!

Volunteers are the lifeblood of Parents Centres around the country. We wouldn’t exist without the extraordinary enthusiasm and energy of so many generous and proactive people nationwide. Volunteering is rewarding, skill-building, good for communities and, let’s not forget, it can be great fun! It fosters a strong sense of belonging and community connection.

Many of our volunteers are full-time parents, have paid jobs as well as other commitments, yet still manage to find the time to volunteer for their local Centre. Some go above and beyond that call when they keep serving their Centre long after their children leave the preschool years behind them.

Photo: Balclutha Parents Centre members.

So, to all our volunteers who have been before, who are with us now and will join us in the future, we are genuinely thankful for your input and honoured to work alongside you to help make parenting in New Zealand a little bit sweeter.

Go to www.parentscentre.org.nz today to contact your local Centre and to find out more about support and volunteering opportunities offered in your area. www.parentscentre.org.nz 

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A fresh look for Parents Centre Before undertaking any rebranding exercise, it is important to look at the essence of an organisation – in effect its story. Here are some of the factors we took into consideration as we developed the new logo.

Proud history We have been a proud part of New Zealand communities for over 65 years. We exist because Kiwis around the country have put in time and energy to create a Parents Centre in their community. We believe in local communities and value the uniqueness of each one.

Community builders They say it takes a village to raise a child. It’s not always easy in our busy world for parents to find that village, especially if they are first-time parents. That’s where we come in. Through our local Centres we educate parents and facilitate them to build a supportive community around them. Often parents find they’ve built a network of lifelong Parents Centre friends.

Inclusive multicultural village We are an inclusive multicultural village where parents can find non-judgemental peer support. We understand that parenting is a huge life change because many of us have been on the same journey. Parents come for a coffee group or antenatal class and leave feeling rejuvenated, supported and understood.

Innovative research and education Behind our warm smiles are some serious smarts.

The first 2,000 days of a child’s life are critical.

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That’s where all the fundamentals are laid down. That’s why all across Aotearoa our professional and highly trained Childbirth Educators are here to support parents, using innovative fact-based research to help parents make informed decisions that suit them.

Voice for parents across Aotearoa As the trusted voice for pregnancy, childbirth and early parenting, we have a long history of advocating for parents. As a national organisation we are uniquely placed to advocate for the wellbeing of our parents and families. Our collective experience, professional expertise and diverse membership from across the country makes us influential.

So, where did we land? Our designers came up with a clean, abstracted, contemporary logo. The new imagery has a nurturing community feel that communicates the feeling of parenthood while drawing on a bicultural feel that is familiar to Aotearoa. The use of abstract symbolism to invite diversity reinforces our organisation's idea that parents are not limited to any gender or ethnicity.

We believe that the new logo shows Parents Centre to be an inclusive, multicultural village where parents of all kinds can find non-judgemental peer-to-peer support.

Heather Hayden, CEO, Parents Centre 

Latching on to a good thing The Big Latch On gathers women together at registered venues to breastfeed and to offer peer support to the other breastfeeding women in their community. Family, wha-nau, friends and supporters from the community also attended the events to support and promote breastfeeding.

as many new mums are often isolated from family support by their location.”

This year, a Big Latch On event was organised by Gore Parents Centre. Breastfeeding Peer Supporter Vicki Ramsay says, “We enjoyed a lovely morning tea provided by WellSouth and we had six mums and their families in for the morning. It the first year we have held the event on a Saturday, away from our usual weekly programme, so it was nice to see these families come in solely to celebrate breastfeeding in our community.”

“We want the Big Latch On to be a positive and inclusive event," Isis says. “It’s not just about celebrating breastfeeding, it is about support and recognising all the ways in which mums, dads, families, and wha-nau share the nurturing of our babies." 

The event was one of hundreds which took place all over the country – and the world – in celebration of breastfeeding. Thousands of women from different cultures and backgrounds simultaneously breastfed their babies in public events all around New Zealand over the first weekend of August.

Although the Big Latch On is part of the global World Breastfeeding Week celebrations, Women’s Health Action’s Maternal and Child Health Manager Isis McKay says they recognise that not every parent can – or chooses to – breastfeed.

Above: Some of the mothers who attended the Big Latch On at Balclutha Parents Centre: (Back from left) Sarah Cragg, Tashara Timms and Paisley (12 weeks), Amanda Garside and Archie (12 weeks), President Nicola Law, breastfeeding peer supporter Nicola Ryan, and Stacey Verheul with Dominic (13 weeks); (front, from left) Charmaine Butcher and Dion (12 weeks), Sarah Moore and Rubee (9 months) and Rosalee Kasosera with Zoe Rose (6 months). Photo: John G Cosgrove.

Below: Gore Parents Centre.

Balclutha Parents Centre also gathered to celebrate the Big Latch On. Balclutha/Clutha district breastfeeding supporter Sarah Cragg says it is a great event to help normalise breastfeeding in the community.

“Because we have a very multicultural and transient population here in Clutha, it is a way for mothers to reach out and meet with other mums, which helps,

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Celebrating Parents Centre Week together To celebrate Parents Centre Week, Balclutha Parents Centre went to visit their neighbours at Gore Parents Centre.

Winning ways at the Baby Show Parents Centre is extremely grateful to the following companies for sponsoring our fantastic prize draw at the Baby Show:

Animals rule in Balclutha!

What fun! As part of our animal theme this term, our weekly playgroup had a blast getting their animals all dirty with dirt and water turning to mud and then washing and drying them again. Some animals had multiple experiences through the mud and then soapy water! Big thanks to host Casey for sorting it all for the kids – they absolutely loved it! Great to see new families coming along to be involved!

Continuing with the animal theme, we also have an animal stable with lovingly labeled creatures tucked into their straw beds.

Nicola Law, President, Balclutha Parents Centre 

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0800 222 966 / www.babyonthemove.co.nz

Baby Show winners are: Drift Travel Cot from The Sleep Store – Nicole Lelean, Browns Bay Buggy from Baby on the Move – Jaclyn Sheehan, Mt Wellington Philips Avent Essentials Breastfeeding starter set – Jared Van Der Vyver, Pakuranga Heights Huggies Ultimate newborn nappies and wipes – Mikaela Otene, Milford Johnson & Johnson gift basket – Dave Chien, Albany

Each edition of Kiwiparent profiles one of Parents Centre's renowned parent education programmes.

This month the spotlight is on:

Baby and You Early parenthood is a life-changing experience into which we all go unrehearsed.

The ‘Baby and You’ programme follows on from antenatal classes and offers sound tips and strategies as you begin your remarkable journey into parenthood.

In your newborn child, you have a very special little individual who will grow and develop with your care and guidance. Contributing to the growth and development of your child can be hugely rewarding.

To see your baby smile, play and grow – so helpless and dependent – can be an extraordinary experience.

You will have feelings of tenderness, closeness and a sense of awe at the miracles of ‘first milestones’ – smiling, crawling, steps and games.

But with a new baby comes uncharted waters. Your tiny bundle may rule the entire household through their routines, sleep patterns and behaviours. This can be very challenging.

feeding practices? How do you handle other people’s often well-meaning advice about feeding? There are often very simple strategies for coping, and discussing issues as they arise is often the first step to successful feeding. Discovering that other new parents experience similar difficulties or have the same questions can be hugely supportive.

Babies grow quickly, and they go through a variety of stages. ‘Baby and You’ explores the first three months of your baby’s life and gives practical information about stimulation for babies, age-appropriate toys and the key milestones of your baby’s growth.

The programme also recognises the heavy demands babies have on parents’ time and attention. It is common for parents to feel a loss of independence, a huge lack of sleep and worries around employment and financial changes. Included is a section on self-care strategies for parents – it’s a challenging time and let’s not forget to meet the needs of mum and dad! 

Many parents, particularly new mums, find the information and support in the ‘Baby and You’ programme extremely helpful in managing the challenges, and making the most of the rewards, that a new baby brings into their life.

Parents Centre believes strongly in the strength of support networks in getting through – and enjoying – those early months. Firm friendships are often formed between course participants, through shared experiences and understandings.

Discussion topics include issues around postnatal realities, identifying physical, emotional and relationship changes. For example: what are some successful infant

Participating in the ‘Baby and You’ programme will give you the much-needed tools over those first uncertain months to enable you to grow in confidence. Your baby, and you, will benefit enormously.

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Find a Centre near you Parents Centres span the entire country with 46 locations around New Zealand.

Contact your local Centre for details of programmes and support available in your area, or go to:

www.parentscentre.org.nz

North Island Auckland Region 1 Whanga-rei Waitemata Bays North Harbour Hibiscus Coast - newa O

Bay of Plenty Tauranga Whakata-ne Rotorua TaupoTaranaki

Auckland Region 2

New Plymouth

Auckland East

Stratford

Papakura

South Taranaki

Manukau

East Coast North Island

Franklin

Central Hawke's Bay

Auckland Region 3

Hawke's Bay

West Auckland

Central Districts

Central Auckland

Palmerston North

East & Bays

Wairarapa

Waikato Thames-Hauraki

Wellington Ka-piti

Morrinsville

Lower Hutt

Hamilton

Mana

Cambridge

Upper Hutt

Putaruru

Wellington North

Otorohanga

Wellington South

South Island Northern South Island Nelson Marlborough Greymouth Canterbury Region Ashburton Christchurch Timaru Oamaru Southern Region Alexandra Balclutha Dunedin Gore Taieri

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Great parents

grow great kids

Arm yourself with knowledge as you grow as a parent alongside your child, by taking part in one of the Parents Centre programmes that run nationwide.

Having a new baby is a time of significant change – your brain is working overtime with questions and your body is going through amazing changes. It's quite a journey.

Parents Centre has been supporting parents for 65 years.

Become a member of Parents Centre and we can support you too! You’ll get access to quality pregnancy, childbirth and parent education that will help you gain invaluable knowledge on your pregnancy, childbirth and early parenting journey. It’s a great way to meet other new parents who are on the same journey as you. They often become lifelong friends. You get support through coffee groups that meet on a regular basis, and ongoing education programmes to help you navigate the stages of pregnancy and parenthood.

With 46 Centres nationwide, we provide many opportunities for social engagement for both parents and children. Many of our Centres offer playgroups and music classes, and these are a great way to learn with your children while you get to socialise with other parents at the same time.

You also gain skills and experience that will be a real asset when you decide to rejoin the workforce.

We look forward to having you join our Parents Centre family and supporting you on your parenting journey!

Early Pregnancy – a special programme tailored for your 12th to 24th week of pregnancy.

Pregnancy, Childbirth and Parent Education (Antenatal) – essential information to prepare you for childbirth and early parenting.

Baby and You – practical and sensible tips and advice for enjoying and making the most of those first months with your newborn.

Parenting with Purpose – consciously focusing on how you want to parent and how your child ticks.

Return to Work – advice for preparing and returning to the paid workforce.

Magic Moments – strategies for positive communication and discipline with your child.

Moving and Munching – exploring baby's first foods and developmental stages.

As a Parents Centre member you will receive loads of free giveaways and samples, as well as special discount shopping days, and discounted products and services exclusive to Parents Centre members. Who doesn’t love freebies and discounts!

Music and Movement – stimulating music activities for your baby and toddler.

Many of our members gain so much from being a Parents Centre member that they want to ‘give back’ and become volunteers for their local Centre, ensuring that new parents can continue to benefit from the skills, knowledge, friendships and support they’ve received.

www.parentscentre.org.nz 

Tinies to Tots – positively encouraging your emerging adventurous toddler.

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Tired of

tech?

I’m the first to admit that I don’t much like tech. I am a bit mad at technology, in general.

I’ve been moderately grumpy since smartphones were invented.

People say, “But isn’t it great to be able to connect with loved ones all over the world?” and I think, “Wasn’t it great in the olden days, when we could connect with the kid on our lap?”

I’ve spent so long being cross with tech (in a nonspecific, atmospheric sort of way) that I am at risk of developing a downward-turning mouth. I’m also enough of a nerd to know that the act of smiling triggers chemicals in our brains, making us measurably happier!

Clearly, I need to either grin and bear it or learn to make the best of living in a tech-saturated world so I can smile again.

Apparently, tech is here to stay, so instead of being cross with it I must embrace the gifts it brings – while setting healthy limits to minimise harm.

The gifts are numerous: I cherish being able to Facetime my overseas in-laws, I love texting my friends and making plans to hang out, and not a day goes by that I don’t stream music or listen to podcasts. Meanwhile, cleverer people than I are doing extraordinary things because of tech. Doctors use lasers and screens to perform non-invasive surgeries, while designers create specific software ensuring farmers use water more efficiently. Advances in tech make incredible CGI movies, and electronic music often makes me want to dance.

Now let’s take a moment to realise that most of those examples showcasing the awesomeness of tech are advantageous for adults. Sure, there are kids who will benefit from keyhole surgery and who love a boogie to Daftpunk, but overwhelmingly, the technological realm is not a place that has been designed with children in mind.

The original creator of the internet, Sir Tim Berners-Lee famously said, “It is for everyone.” But the thing is, Sir Tim, it’s not. Not really. That’s a beautiful sentiment, but – as always – when something is supposed to be “for everyone”, it ain’t. If there are not active processes in place for protecting the vulnerable (for example, children) there will be exploitation and harm, knowingly or unknowingly.

Let me explain what I mean with an exercise of imagination. Think of the internet as a landscape, and each social network as a town square.

How are people treated in that town square? Are there hanging baskets of flowers or is it a bit unkempt?

Are the neighbours smiling or surly? Are visitors given accurate directions to get around town or are they mugged in an alley? Is this town square a place where people help the elderly across the road?

Is there somewhere for a breastfeeding mother to feed a hungry infant without pervy dudes turning up? And if they do turn up, will the townspeople support that mother in getting rid of them, rallying in the name of decency and infants’ rights?

Think of the internet as a landscape, and each social network as a town square.

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If we can spend two hours per week outside, preferably in nature, we will be measurably happier.

Imagine it: pretend that Instagram, SnapChat, Facebook and even the comments section on Stuff are actual physical places. Does everyone in those places want what’s best for us and for our families? In reality, we have to tread carefully in those virtual town squares, as they also house shady villains mining us for data and trying to sneak a peek at our undies. And if we are busy in the town squares, then where are our children?

The kids are home alone! Or worse! They’re wandering around in other town squares – without us to chaperone them! There is something wrong with that picture.

As we leave the virtual town squares and take some deep breaths in our real lives, you might notice that our lives are both wonderful and difficult. Our families are both beautiful and annoying. Real life isn’t always dappled sunshine and birdsong. Real life is often messy and trying, even stinky. Is it any wonder we have all fallen hook, line and sinker for the shiny distraction of tech?

Those phones in our pockets have been designed to give us hits of pleasure on a neurobiological level in a way that, say, emptying the recycling bin cannot.

It’s not surprising that the digital world competes so aggressively for our attention. There are design techniques at play to make us struggle to keep our minds (if not our hands) off our phones.

All that distraction is not good for us, or for our relationships.

Numerous studies have proven that 98% of people do better when they concentrate on one task at a time.

Multitasking is only real for that heroic 2%. The rest of us just fake it with “switchtasking” – zipping from one thing to another and back again. If you’re already prone to this habit, adding pings and dings will only offer more

opportunities to divert attention – which is exhausting.

Our attention is a precious, limited resource. Spend it wisely.

So how do we make the most of tech’s gifts, while providing a shelter big enough to protect ourselves – and our kids – from the documented harms that come from too much tech?

First, as you go to unlock your phone for the 40th (or 100th) time in a day, be honest with yourself about your intention. Are you about to use the tools of tech to be creative? Are you about to be productive? Or are you just seeking escape from whatever (whoever!) is in the room? Remember: attention is a finite resource and our kids deserve our focus. You might say that entertainment media is the enemy, social media is a frenemy. Notice your intention and get ready to shake up your routine: can you go for a wee walk instead?

Can you think of an outdoor job to do?

I’m not just making that up: that bears out in the research. If we can spend two hours per week outside, preferably in nature, we will be measurably happier.

This finding comes from a recent study headed up

by Mathew White of the University of Exeter Medical School. Having surveyed 20,000 people, the researchers found that people who spend two hours per week in green spaces had better health and wellbeing than those who don’t. If I’m honest, I know that in a busy week I might struggle to make it to the beach or for a bush walk, but I’m convinced that even 10 minutes at a time walking to and from the compost, looking up and breathing deep makes a difference. Give it a go.

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Research shows that going to sleep on your side from 28 weeks of pregnancy halve your risk of stillbirth compared with sleeping on your back.

Why should I go to sleep on my side?

Lying on your back in the last three months of pregnancy (from 28 weeks) presses on major blood vessels which can reduce blood flow to your womb and oxygen supply to your baby.

Is it best to go to sleep on my left or right side?

You can settle to sleep on either the left or the right side – any side is good from 28 weeks of pregnancy.

SLEEP ON SIDE WHEN BABY’S INSIDE

FROM 28 WEEKS OF PREGNANCY Research shows that going to sleep on www.sleeponside.org.nz your side from 28 weeks of pregnancy halve your risk of stillbirth compared with sleeping on your back.

Why should I go to sleep on my side?

Lying on your back in the last three months of pregnancy (from 28 weeks) presses on major blood vessels which can reduce blood flow to your womb and oxygen supply to your baby.

Is it best to go to sleep on my left or right side?

You can settle to sleep on either the left or the right side – any side is good from 28 weeks of pregnancy.

But what if I feel more comfortable going to sleep on my back?

Going to sleep on your back is not best for baby after 28 weeks of pregnancy. Most women find side sleeping is more comfortable in pregnancy, especially in the last three months.

What if I wake up on my back?

But what if I feel more comfortable going to sleep on my back?

Going to sleep on your back is not best for baby after 28 weeks of pregnancy. Most women find side sleeping is more comfortable in pregnancy, especially in the last three months.

What if I wake up on my back?

It’s normal to change position during sleep and many pregnant women wake up on their back. The important thing is to start every sleep (daytime naps and going to bed at night) lying on your side and settle back to sleep on your side if you wake up.

What is the risk of stillbirth if I go to sleep on my back?

Stillbirth in the last three months of pregnancy affects about one in every 500 babies. However, research has confirmed that going to sleep on your side halves your risk of stillbirth compared with sleeping on your back.

SLEEP ONON SIDE SLEEP SIDE WHEN BABY’S INSIDE WHEN BABY’S INSIDE SLEEP ON SIDE FROMFROM 28 WEEKS OF PREGNANCY 28 WEEKS OF PREGNANCY WHEN BABY’S For more information please INSIDE contact your midwife, nurse or28 doctor. www.sleeponside.org.nz www.sleeponside.org.nz FROM WEEKS OF PREGNANCY

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What else can we do to shake up our tech habits?

B e deliberate with your settings. If you take the time to set up your phone with custom dings, you will know without looking whether the incoming message is something you need to mess with or not. Our phones make the same noise for an urgent message from your teenager as for an update from your weather app – unless you programme them otherwise. Always turn off ‘autoplay’ on YouTube and remember you can programme your Wi-Fi to turn off at certain times.

P ledge to use one device at a time. If the family are watching a movie, watch the movie. No phones, no tablets, no laptops. The shared experience and the conversations that go with that are compromised if people are diverted by individual tech use.

E ncourage old school playthings. Books, balls, blocks. Pens, paper, puzzles.

C ommit to screen-free mealtimes. Mealtimes have shown themselves to be crucial family rituals for building and maintaining closeness, and tech at the table gets in the way.

P rioritise the people and relationships that exist in the room. The physical bodies in our presence

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have to take precedence – especially when we are talking about our kids. Babies’ brains are growing so fast, and our tech habits impact their development in worrying ways that we are only just starting to understand.

R emember: what little kids need to learn and develop is love, attention, and plenty of free time. They need conversations, and opportunities for active, hands-on play. Screens (whether in their hands or in the hands of their parents) tend to get in the way of these things.

B e willing to surf the waves of struggle when you boot your teens off their tech.

Throughout history, adolescence has been a time of apprenticeship – learning how to function in the adult world. Big kids are capable of learning practical skills: how to split wood, fold washing for minimal wrinkles, dice an onion. These are skills best learned at the elbow of a parent, not from an online video, and they are skills that all young people should learn. Our children can (and should!) pull their weight – or at least make an effort. It’s hard to set the table for dinner when your nose is in a phone, which leads me to …

W e have to be willing to tolerate some complaints as we instil limits for the good of our families.

The blogger Melissa Gibson, writing on ScaryMommy. com, said of her tech-free summer, “I’m going to tell

Miriam McCaleb Miriam is a writer, researcher, children’s advocate and teacher. She’s the mother of two great girls and has deep roots in North Canterbury, where she lives and works alongside her Tennessean husband. Miriam wasn’t always mad at tech – she loved watching Playschool as a kid and even now is a sucker for home makeover shows. Miriam blogs at www.baby.geek.nz

you exactly how to have a Summer of No Devices for your own family. YOU JUST TAKE THE DEVICE AWAY. And then when they ask for it? YOU DON’T GIVE IT TO THEM.” The complaints may be inevitable, but they won’t last forever. Call them withdrawal symptoms as they unplug from a device that’s been designed to hold attention.

There is a resistance brewing on the other side of this issue – there is strong advocacy from groups like the Centre for Humane Tech, urging tech companies to put design constraints in place to avoid “human downgrading”, and they have testified in the US senate at hearings looking into the predatory practices of persuasive design.

Meanwhile, advocates in New Zealand (www.sensiblescreenuse.org) encourage a critical look at tech use in our schools, and some schools themselves are creating change, like the Francis Douglas Memorial College in New Plymouth, which has turned off Wi-Fi at lunchtime since 2017, encouraging kids to play and talk. Face to face.

Help is coming, but we don’t have to wait for those solutions to come from on high. In the meantime, we can initiate solutions within our own homes. Tech’s here to stay. So, let’s not get mad at it, let’s channel energy into setting limits, avoiding the harms, and embracing the best bits of tech. 

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Why our

midwifery care is special

Multi-award winning freediver William Trubridge and Japanese partner Sachiko Fukumoto decided to return to New Zealand for the birth of their daughter Mila earlier this year when they discovered that they would have choices here over where and how their baby would arrive in the world.

Freediving involves ocean diving in deep water without breathing equipment, and Sachiko, an actress, is also an enthusiast, so it is not surprising that the couple were considering a water birth. William and Sachiko are based overseas for most of the year, working, competing and teaching, and needed to find a base for the birth.

A system designed to support the mother

“We chose to come to New Zealand for the birth of our daughter after we discovered that both the standards of midwifery and the rights of the mother during the birthing process were better in New Zealand than anywhere else,” explains William.

“Later, Julie Kinloch, who was our midwife for Mila’s birth, described a little of the history of midwifery in New Zealand, and how she and others had fought for the changes which today have given the profession in New Zealand such world-respected standards.

“We wanted to have the birth at home, and preferably in the water, and that was going to be pretty much impossible in either Japan or Hawaii, which were the two other places we were considering.

Even the midwives Sachiko spoke to in Japan encouraged her to go to New Zealand, since they knew that the training and the legislation would offer her more freedom to pursue the kind of birth she wanted.”

“Everything about the birth went perfectly, and Sachiko was able to bring Mila into the world underwater in a birthing pool at home, without the use of any painkillers or any complications.

The couple contacted some of the local midwives in the Hawke's Bay region, where William’s parents live, and, he says “from talking to them we got a sense of how much the system has been designed to support the mother”.

“Much of that we attribute to the confidence and positivity that was imbued in us by Julie, Di Reefman and the other birthing professionals who helped us to prepare.”

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William and Sachiko now have a clear understanding of New Zealand’s maternity care system but many people, even those who have been cared for within the system, may not.

“Our system is not usual in world terms,” says Alison Eddy, chief executive of the New Zealand College of Midwives, “but many New Zealanders probably do not appreciate that what we have is not available in many other countries and certainly not free through a public health service.

“The system was established as a response to calls from women for choice over where and how they gave birth. In the 1970s and '80s women started to speak up about their birthing experiences.

The system had become very regimented and institutionalised and some women even felt brutalised

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by it. Midwives and women joined together and their campaigning resulted in legislation, in 1990, that gave midwives the autonomy to provide care to women without supervision by doctors and opened the way for choice over where women gave birth.”

The midwifery profession in New Zealand is highly regulated and monitored through the Midwifery Council and supported professionally by the New Zealand College of Midwives. Midwives must complete a Bachelor of Midwifery degree and the National Midwifery Examination set by the Council. They must participate in a formal programme during their first year of practice which includes mentoring by an experienced midwife and structured education. Many midwives obtain postgraduate qualifications including master's degrees and doctorates.

What makes the service stand out for women?

Midwives are at the centre of maternity care in New Zealand.

They care for women throughout pregnancy, labour, birth and for up to six weeks after a baby is born.

The aim is ‘continuity of care’, so that one midwife, the Lead Maternity Carer (LMC), works with a woman throughout the process.

The LMC will work alongside midwifery practice partners in small group practices so that if she is unable to attend all appointments or even the birth, her client will be cared for by another midwife whom she knows.

“The great advantage of continuity of care is that the woman gets to know her midwife and vice versa.

The woman does not need to tell her story to someone new each time she needs a check-up, and the

Photo: William Trubridge and partner Sachiko Fukumoto at the birth of their daughter Mila.

www.kathyfray.com

Get empowered peace-of-mind with your own copy of NZ’s No.1 best-selling Birth & Babies book since 2005!

Feel Childbirth confidence with your own copy of my FREE download guide to Labour and Birth midwife comes to understand what the woman wants from the birth experience and how she can best help her to achieve that.”

maternity units and hospitals, in rostered shifts, to work with the LMCs when they bring their clients in to give birth.

Women who have health problems or complications during pregnancy that require specialist advice and treatment outside of the midwife’s scope of practice will be referred to an appropriate professional.

Women have a choice

“Midwives specialise in normal physiological birth,” explains Alison Eddy. “They are experts in the normal and know when to refer to obstetricians or other professional colleagues to assist or take over the care of their clients.”

The midwives who provide LMC services are usually based in the community, working on a selfemployed basis with practice partners. Alternatively, midwives can choose to be employed within

Women have a range of choices as to where they have their babies.

If you are healthy and well during pregnancy and no complications are anticipated, you can give birth at home with your midwife or in a maternity unit. These units are designed specifically for normal births and are usually stand-alone facilities. Women can also choose to give birth in a hospital, and those who have problems or complexities in their pregnancies will be advised to choose a hospital.

Midwives advise on dealing with pain in labour and can administer a range of pain medications. Midwives cannot give epidurals. These must

Continued overleaf...

Bit unsure of the difference between correctly dressing a 1-Day-Old versus a 1-Month-Old? Own the perfect award-winning organic merino outfit for your precious brand new Baby

www.rootswings.com

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be given by an anaesthetist, so women who think they will want an epidural during labour will need to choose a hospital for their birth.

“I think some people may believe that midwifery is all about natural childbirth without pain relief,” says Alison. “But this is a misunderstanding.

Midwives advise and administer pain relief and they work in partnership to do what will work best for you,” Alison says.

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but there is an increasing body of evidence that normal, physiological birth has a range of benefits for the health of mother and baby in the short and long term,” explains Alison.

A valued service

“Pain is an inevitable part of the birth process and we know, from many years of experience with our continuity-of-care model, that it is tremendously reassuring for women to have a midwife they know and trust to work alongside them during labour. This helps them to deal with the pain.

Monitoring by the Ministry of Health and feedback through the consumer feedback service run by the New Zealand College of Midwives shows that New Zealand women value the service they receive from midwives. But the system has come under severe pressure in recent years because midwives have had only minimal pay increases and working conditions have become difficult, particularly in some hospitals and some regions.

“Another important aspect of the type of midwife-led care that we have in New Zealand is that it supports women to give birth without medical interventions such as induction of labour, forceps deliveries and caesareans. There is a place for all of these, of course,

“The widely publicised problems with the maternity service in Lumsden are a symptom of a wider problem in the maternity service,” says Alison. “Years of financial constraint have taken their toll on the availability of facilities, especially in rural areas, and on the workload

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midwives are expected to carry.

Midwives have been leaving the profession because they feel they can no longer provide the standard of care they feel is essential.”

Some progress has been made towards resolving the problems.

District health boards negotiated a pay increase with the employed midwives who are based in hospitals and maternity units earlier this year after they held a series of strikes.

There have been increases in the last two Budgets for the communitybased self-employed midwives who work as LMCs, but these have not been large enough, say midwives, to fully recognise the value of their work.

“The New Zealand College of Midwives is continuing to negotiate with the government for selfemployed midwives,” explains Alison. “We are working towards a new system for paying midwives to address shortcomings in the current funding model and to bring pay for self-employed midwives up to an acceptable level. The

The New Zealand College of Midwives website has a range of information available on midwifery in New Zealand, and via the ‘shop’ section there are several publications, including the booklet Continuity of Midwifery Care ($30) which explains the New Zealand model of care. www.midwife.org.nz The College can be contacted on 03 377 2732 To find a midwife visit www.findyourmidwife.co.nz

Ministry of Health has said that it will have a new funding model in place by mid-2020.

maternity services work and what to expect from your LMC midwife.

“These negotiations have been protracted and painful and we really feel that unless we get a lasting solution to the pay issue it will be difficult to maintain the workforce of LMC midwives that is so crucial to our continuity of care model.

View the relationship as a partnership. Your midwife will advise and inform, not instruct.

She will give you information to enable you to make the important decisions in your pregnancy.

“It is wonderful to hear praise for our system from parents like William and Sachiko who have looked elsewhere and seen what we have to offer. We are calling on parents to lobby their MPs in support of our midwives so we can protect what we have here.”

A partnership is a two-way relationship. Be courteous, keep your appointments and let your midwife know when you can’t make it.

Making the most of your midwife Register with a midwife early in your pregnancy – preferably within the first few weeks.

Take some time to choose a midwife you feel you will get on with. You may need to speak to several. Choose one who is a member of the New Zealand College of Midwives. The College leaflet Midwives and Maternity Services (40c) explains how the

Be clear about how and when your midwife can be contacted.

Most midwives have time on- and off-call and when they are off-call they have practice partners to answer clients’ questions or assist in emergencies.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions – midwives expect this and the flow of information between you will build your relationship.

You can ask your midwife practically anything related to pregnancy, labour, birth and babycare. 

Maria Scott Maria works for the New Zealand College of Midwives, editing its members’ magazine Midwifery News and assisting with media enquiries. Maria worked as a journalist on newspapers and magazines in New Zealand, Australia and the UK before joining the College.

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Know your

entitlements when you give birth

Every new parent knows that those first few hours and days are extreme in every way. Not only are you coping with the physical after-effects of the birth, you are managing hormonal ups and downs, learning to connect with this amazing little human who has joined your family, and learning how to parent in a hurry.

If it is your first baby, you will likely have many questions and anxieties. What does it mean when your baby pulls a face, how do you differentiate one cry from another, how often do you have to change the nappy… and why did no one tell you babies were so slippery and wriggly when you try to bathe them and change their clothes!

Breastfeeding comes easily to some, but certainly not to all mums. Those first few days are crucial times to get breastfeeding well established and for mum to feel comfortable when feeding. The support and advice from a trained lactation consultant can be invaluable at this time.

Even if you have given birth before, you will still need guidance and reassurance as every baby is different.

And you need to rest, because when you go home, there will be the other family members to tend to and reassure that they are still as important as they were before the new baby arrived.

And rest… it is not called labour for nothing. Giving birth is extremely hard work and mothers need to be able to rest and recover after the birth before they take up the reins again of their new normal lives.

In New Zealand, women are fully funded for 48 hours of postnatal care at the facility of their choice – but not all mothers realise this, and many end up going home from hospital before they are ready. In some maternity wards, new mums are pressured to go home early because they are told there are not enough beds for the number of women giving birth. This results in mums

leaving hospital sometimes only hours after having had their baby when they are still recovering after the delivery and they are left floundering in their new role.

So, what makes the first 48 hours so important?

Whether it’s your first, second or third time, becoming a parent is a big transition and those early hours and days are crucial for establishing a close bond between baby and parents.

Giving parents the tools to make the right decisions and the opportunity to form a loving, nurturing attachment with their baby is at the heart of postnatal care. The first 48 hours after birth often sets a pattern of interaction that will serve the child and parent for a lifetime.

Without a good, loving bond or attachment, children are less likely to grow up to become happy, independent and resilient adults.

When I left the hospital [five hours after giving birth], I felt unimportant, a burden to the system, an inconvenience. I was exhausted, confused, and in shock. We felt like we didn’t have a choice about going home. And ultimately my family and I felt that the system took advantage of our forgiving, tolerant, and accommodating nature.

– New mum, Helen

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When a child is born a mother is born too.

– Dame Lesley Max, Mothers Matter

“We felt like we didn't matter, like we were just in the way.”

– New mum, Lydia

An impaired parent-child relationship can contribute to the development of behavioural, social or learning difficulties in children and make it more difficult for them to fulfil their full potential and become resilient in the face of life’s challenges.

Many first-time parents are left floundering with no social support and little idea of how to cope with the practicalities of having a new baby – bathing, changing, feeding, loads of washing – all on top of minimal sleep plus coping with the after-effects of the birth. Parents often complain that there is a lot of focus on the birth, but not always a lot of information about what to do with a new baby.

While birth is a defining moment, it’s also an emotionally tumultuous time, as many women are vulnerable to mental health problems including anxiety, depression and adjustment disorders. Dads and partners are also affected and need additional support at this time.

There is an idealistic expectation that a woman knows what to do when she becomes a mum, and she has an innate knowledge on how to be a parent. Many women experience the ‘baby blues’, a perfectly normal feeling triggered by physical changes and emotional factors – the transition from mum-to-be to actual mum

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requires a special type of care and support from trained, dedicated professionals.

Most women who give birth in New Zealand experience no significant medical issues. However, some mothers can experience complications that can have a longterm negative impact on them, their baby and wha-nau. Receiving the appropriate postnatal care, support and management in a dedicated maternal facility can alleviate and even prevent many treatable conditions that can arise from giving birth.

The three-day bill offers more choices to families National MP Louise Upston is proposing the New Zealand Public Health and Disability (3 Day Postnatal Stay) Amendment Bill, which would entitle new mums to a minimum of three days of hospital care after the birth of each child, an additional day to the 48 hours currently contracted. The bill would also allow mums to stay longer than 72 hours if needed, and would require the midwife, obstetrician or GP to make sure the mother knows her entitlements.

"I believe mums should have a choice in the kind of care that they opt for, whether that's in a hospital or at a community or private facility – or at home. I would like to see community care available to all women, no matter where they choose to give birth," Louise says.

That extra day in a birthing facility could make the world of difference to a new family adjusting to the realities of feeding, bathing, changing and learning to read their new baby’s cues. Louise says the policy is estimated to cost an additional $16–$20 million and would be ring-fenced to prevent health boards putting

Mothers Matter Mothers Matter is a collaboration of individuals, health professionals and parents who want to ensure all women: Know why postnatal care is important; U nderstand they are entitled to receive up to 48 hours of funded inpatient postnatal care regardless of the type of birth; and Can choose where they receive that care.

In order to provide optimal maternity care, they are requesting the Government establish a ring-fenced national fund, managed by the Ministry of Health, to support a mother’s right to receive the clinically and psychologically appropriate amount of time (up to 48 hours or longer if clinically indicated) of postnatal care and support at the primary maternity facility of her choice, no matter what kind of birth she has had – whether this is at a hospital, primary maternity centre, or community birthing facility.

They also believe that for women and their families to make an informed choice about postnatal care, they need to know what their entitlement is, and what the benefits are from receiving the right level of postnatal care in the right place.

the money into other areas. This relatively small investment in the welfare of families would seem to be money well spent.

Louise is a passionate advocate for new mothers and their families. Her own first birth was stressful.

“I was a solo mum,” Louise recalls, “and the prescribed medication I was taking meant that the risk of fetal abnormality was very high. Doctors recommended a termination and I was under a lot of pressure.

I decided to listen to my baby and go ahead with the pregnancy, but it was a stressful time.

“When I went into labour, my father dropped me at the hospital and I was left alone – my mother had passed away and my extended family lived elsewhere so there was no one to support me during the birth. I was fearful. After my baby was born – thankfully healthy – I struggled to breastfeed. I was bloody-minded and refused to go home until I felt I could manage, but it was hard. I just knew I had to stay – but it didn’t need to be so hard.”

When Louise was approached by Mothers Matter, who outlined their work to make sure that women knew they were entitled to 48 hours postnatal care, she took up the cause at a political level and prepared her private member's three-day bill. “There is broad cross-party support for improved perinatal care,” Louise says.

“I believe we all need to work together – government, NGOs, communities and healthcare professionals – to make the first three days a safe space for mothers and babies.

“I don't want any mum to go home with their baby without feeling confident.”

DO YOU KNOW... that you are entitled to 48 hours fully funded inpatient postnatal care after giving birth?

And that you can choose where you will receive it?

Empowering New Zealand women Whakamanatia nga- wa-hine katoa o Aotearoa www.mothersmatter.nz

Leigh Bredenkamp 

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– HUIA –

Enchanting Young Readers

HUIA is an independent publishing company that has been sharing the wonderful stories and aspirations of the people of Aotearoa since 1991. Based in Wellington, it publishes stories that reflect Ma- ori people and experiences and opens up a fascinating view for the rest of the world to see.

There is a HUIA book for every reader – from whimsical children’s books to intriguing novels and inspirational non-fiction.

HUIA’s recent success at the 2019 New Zealand Book Awards for Children and Young Adults recognises the excellence and quality of the books.

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The Bomb by Sacha Cotter, illustrated by Josh Morgan, was awarded the highest prize in children’s publishing – The Margaret Mahy Book of the Year.

The Bomb also won the Picture Book Award.

The HUIA team is passionate about creating inspiring stories for children and publish books in English and te reo Ma-ori editions. HUIA also translates children’s classics such as The Very Hungry Caterpillar and Where the Wild Things Are. This helps New Zealanders engage with the indigenous language, which is an important part of Aotearoa.

Here are some of the favourites for young readers.

HUIA books are available online at www.huia.co.nz or in good bookstores throughout Aotearoa.

- nui Ako Pa A set of five first readers in te reo Ma-ori with simple text, lively illustrations and translations in English to teach preschoolers numbers, colours, shapes and simple sentences.

- ori First Readers in Ma A set of ten simple stories in Ma-ori with translations in English to learn numbers, colours, shapes, animal names and everyday sentences.

The Bomb/Te PohuA boy searches for the secret to doing the perfect dive bomb.

With training from his Nan, and by listening to his own voice, he finds his unique style to pull off an awe-inspiring bomb. Winner of The Margaret Mahy Book of the Year and Picture Book Award at the 2019 New Zealand Book Awards for Children and Young Adults.

Santa’s Worst Christmas/Te Kirihimete i Whakakorea With a few days to go before Christmas, everyone’s getting ready for the big day. Then comes the news – Santa’s cancelled Christmas.

Santa had so many disasters last year, he can’t face it again, and he’s quit. In this Aotearoa picture book, the kids come up with a clever plan to get Christmas back on and Santa back in the sleigh. Available in Spring 2019.

To-ku Whenua Children can now learn at a glance the features and Ma-ori place names of Aotearoa. This poster sized map shows significant landmarks and the names of cities and towns in Ma-ori.

Te Anuhe Tino Hiakai This is The Very Hungry Caterpillar translated into te reo Ma-ori with the same illustrations and simple, fun story.

- ka - riki?

Kei Hea te Hipi Ka All of the sheep except one are up to zany antics in this translation of Where is the Green Sheep? 

- KiKeys/Nga Dad tells his daughter stories about what his keys unlock, from a zippenburger he drives to work to a paddock with a mammoth that only eats yellow food.

Haka/Whiti te Ra A picture book that tells the story of the origin of the haka ‘Ka Mate’ made popular by the All Blacks.

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Preserving your

memories

Enjoy your favourite photos every day with these crafty framing projects

Hanging photo wall You need: u p to 20 square photographs (all 10cm x 10cm) w hite card, medium thickness, cut into squares (8cm x 8cm) white string spray adhesive or glue stick scissors and ruler b ranch or length of bamboo (paint white if you wish) 1 metre of nylon line small stones (optional) Blu-Tack

Step 1: Prepare and print images Adjust the photographs before printing to ensure they are of a similar tonal range. Open each image using a photo editing tool

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and using the saturation function, de-saturate each one to strip out any intense shades. Alternatively, apply the same photo filter to each image or print them in sepia or black and white. Some stores can print photos in a square format with white borders, so check for this option. Alternatively, trim regular rectangular prints down to size and mount them on slightly larger white card for a similar effect.

Step 2: Arrange in order Lay photos out on a large flat surface in vertical columns to form a grid, allowing a 2cm space between each photo vertically. Arrange images into a pleasing composition, checking for a balance of subjects, shapes and colours. Turn each photo over, maintaining the grid arrangement.

Step 3: Attach strings Cut strings the length of each vertical column plus an extra 50cm.

Lay the strings along the middle of each vertical column, with 30cm of the extra string at the top and 20cm at the bottom. One at a time, lay each white card on clean scrap paper and lightly coat one side with glue. Starting at the top left corner of your grid, place each card, sticky side down, onto the back of each photograph, sandwiching the string in between. Use a ruler to ensure the photos are evenly spaced on the string and line up with the corresponding photo on either side.

Leave to dry.

Step 4: Assembling photo wall Attach the nylon line to the stick ends and hang it horizontally on the wall. Attach each photo string to the stick, ensuring the images line up by first attaching each top photo to the wall using Blu-Tack and then tying the string to the stick above. If you like, tie a small stone to the bottom of each string.

Upcycling an old frame You need: a photograph a second-hand picture frame that includes an outer frame, firm backing board and a mat or mounting board glazier points or tiny nails

Step 1: Disassemble frame

Step 4: Reassemble frame

Lay the frame front side down and remove the back tape and any pins.

Notice how the frame has been put together. Remove any brown framing paper used to cover up the inner workings. Often the stiff backing board is held in place with staples, tiny nails or glazier points.

Use pliers to gently remove or bend these out of the way.

Lay the frame face down on a clean, flat surface. Carefully place glass back into the frame and check the surface facing you is lint-free.

Place the photo behind the mat and secure using a strip of masking tape along the top. Lay the mount face down on the glass. Before taping everything up, turn the frame over and check the photo is positioned correctly and that no lint is trapped behind the glass. Return any glazier points or tiny nails back into the frame to hold the backing board and glass in place, using new ones if necessary. Tape all around the edge using wide brown picture tape.

On the back of the frame, screw in two small screws or D-ring hangers on either side, an equal distance from the top. Firmly tie the nylon line between rings. Clean any stray fingerprints off the front glass and your picture is ready to hang.

masking tape wide brown picture framing tape

Step 2: Clean glass Carefully take out the glass, wash it using warm soapy water and lay it on a tea towel to dry. Polish dry.

small pliers hammer nylon line D-ring or small screws small paintbrush dropcloth R esene Enamacryl enamel for the frame and Resene SpaceCote Flat for the mat.

Step 3: Paint frame and mount Wipe the frame free of dust. Lay the frame on the dropcloth and coat with paint, making sure you cover all edges that will be visible when hung. Many old frames have mats that are good enough to reuse.

Give it a fresh look with a coat of matt white Resene SpaceCote Flat paint. Allow to fully dry.

Sarah Heeringa, Resene 

Let your ideas loose all over your walls with Resene Write-on Wall Paint.

Get

! g n i t i r w

Simply apply over your existing light coloured wall paint. Then once dry and cured you can use whiteboard markers to write all over the wall without damaging the surface. And when it’s time to delete an idea just grab a soft cloth or whiteboard eraser, rub out the marker and start again.

With Resene Write-on Wall Paint there’s no limit to your ideas.

The magazine of Parents Centre

0800 RESENE (737 363)

www.resene.co.nz

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Expect the

unexpected!

Our birth story is much like many others’ – it didn’t go as expected.

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We had prepared a birth “wish list” rather than a birth “plan”, but it was choosing to have a doula alongside us for our journey into parenthood that was the best birth prep we could have done.

A doula is a person (typically a woman, most often who has given birth herself) who tends to the mother during labour and childbirth. Her aim is to keep the mother calm, focused, hydrated and supported, and she can offer helpful insights for the inexperienced parents-to-be if the unexpected happens.

it about halfway through the film before I couldn’t lie still any longer – the contractions had returned around 5:00 pm.

We started labour in the early morning of 7 June 2017.

My contractions were about six minutes apart and fairly strong, and in between each surge I bustled about trying to get ready; I made my baby’s bed, I brought out some cake I had baked earlier in the week; I even put on a touch of makeup (which seems so ridiculous and groan-worthy now).

The hypnobirthing audiobook helped me focus on my breathing as everything else became blurrier.

Around 1:00 am, we needed to do something different.

We stepped out of the house and walked along Waikanae Beach underneath the moonlight. We came back in from the cold and continued concentrated breathing, drinking water, swaying. The night seemed to go on forever for Mark, but I had no concept of the passing of time.

We decided to keep active and went for a walk to the Olde Beach Bakery ten minutes away. Along the way, my oxytocin levels were soaring! Everything seemed vivacious, alive, fresh. I was over the moon. I ordered a hot chocolate from the bemused staff – if ever I deserved a hot chocolate this was the day. This was exciting – our much-anticipated baby was coming!

However, by midday, the contractions had dramatically subsided. In the afternoon we crawled into bed and turned on Wes Anderson’s “Fantastic Mr Fox”. We made

I had my hypnobirthing audiobook on my iPod, and my labour bracelet (made up of a bead from each of my dearest friends) wrapped around my wrist.

With each surge I breathed through any discomfort, imagining I was riding some sort of uncomfortable wave and then returning to myself. My partner Mark pressed on my lower back, helped me sway my hips, gave me ice, water and coconut water. We had a fire going as it was a crisp winter's night. Contractions were once again regular at around eight- to tenminute intervals.

My constant companion Contractions were now constant and would continue as such, but nothing seemed to have really amped up.

I had had no sleep, but somehow was still functioning.

Mark was great throughout the night but was starting to wonder what was going on – he had been tending to me for almost 24 hours and needed some rest

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himself. So, on the morning of 8 June, we called our doula – Anna Driver. Anna arrived at 11:00 am and was my constant companion from that moment on through to birth. She took over the role of main support which felt so reassuring – she had done this before.

This meant that Mark could recharge, remain mentally alert and also assist with hugs, touch and support.

Anna was so kind, and it felt very comforting to have a calm, quietly strong woman there who had had two babies herself. She helped me through each contraction by applying pressure to my hips, swaying them, encouraging even breaths to keep me and the baby calm and happy, and ensuring I had a drink after each surge. Our lovely midwife Andrea had been and visited twice and was happy with how the baby and I were doing, despite the length of time and little progress with my dilation. My waters also had not yet broken.

The day progressed and entered the second night.

We were in a strange limbo world. Labour was imminent, surges were constant, but birthing seemed so far away. Anna stayed right through the second night, not leaving my side. We were open to the idea of a home birth if it felt right, but by the morning of our third day of labour, with exhaustion peaking, we decided to move to Paraparaumu Maternity Unit.

I had started using a TENS machine that Anna brought with her during each surge. It helped to distance myself from any discomfort, and I definitely needed it during the car ride from Waikanae to the birthing unit.

Our midwife joined us and upon reaching the maternity unit was keeping close tabs on us – baby was still fine.

Its heartbeat hadn’t started racing nor had it dropped.

My breathing was still even; after each surge I was still feeling relatively fine. Time and my place in it had lost all relevance. My immediate presence was immense.

This whole while, Mark and our doula had tended to me, keeping me hydrated, breathing steadily, moving my hips to alleviate the building pressure. My waters still hadn’t broken.

At the maternity unit we still couldn’t figure out what was going on. Early into the morning of 9 June, I was no longer feeling fine. Our midwife attempted to move our baby into a better position manually, vaginally, which was excruciatingly painful for me. I was starting to really tire, and my contractions were becoming more intense.

I had started groaning to help purge each surge, but baby was still fine.

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All pumps feature 2-Phase Expression Technology, which mimics babies’ natural sucking rhythms, allowing mums to express more breast milk in less time.

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What were our options?

We were presented with options; I barely remember what was offered to us, but I clearly remember the feeling of sudden panic. Our baby was still fine, but now we would have to make decisions which could potentially jeopardise that. Fear welled up inside both of us – we had never been in this sort of position before of course – we were first-timers. How could we know what to do?

What I remember clearly is Anna quietly suggesting questions that we should be asking. Asking for details of all our options; asking how this procedure or that would affect the baby, and me. It seemed that at that point, the path of least intervention was to have some morphine to try and allow me to get some rest – it would have minimal impact on the baby but would allow me to finally sleep before the main show.

It turned out that it didn’t give me any sleep, and the groaning continued. We also decided to move to Wellington Hospital so that we could have access to a greater range of options, as the length of the labour was taking its toll.

We were to be transferred by ambulance – a 50-minute trip. The ambulance arrived, and with it two very nice and very talkative attendants. I was not in the mood for talking. Mark and Andrea travelled with me, and my mother who had joined us at the maternity unit followed in our car – so close Mark thought he could

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reach out and touch the car. Anna also followed us to the hospital.

Some answers at last The ride to Wellington was very uncomfortable, but finally it felt as though the morphine was allowing my body some respite. At Wellington Hospital we were taken up to our own room with a birthing bath in it. A doctor came in and scanned my belly – baby was still fine, and we finally had an indication of what was preventing our birth. Our baby had its arm up underneath its chin, which was creating a difficult angle for the head to engage fully. My cervix had been fully dilated for some time now, but because the head was not engaging, the final stage of labour was not oncoming.

The doctor talked through options including having a caesarean section. This wasn’t how we had imagined things happening. Our doula Anna once again offered some helpful questions for us to ask the doctor.

By simply enquiring if we could take each measure one step at a time, providing our baby was still happy and safe, we were told that yes, we could proceed.

My waters were to be broken manually to see if that would help things along. It was (a tad hysterically at this point) hilarious to see that the tool to break them looked like a crochet hook. It did, surprisingly, work a treat, and my waters were broken.

I was absolutely exhausted. My body had been in labour with little medical support for about 50 hours. However,

Birth – you can expect the unexpected. DON’T PANIC. It’s all part of your birth journey and crash course into parenthood!

with my waters broken we were in new territory.

We had tried the birthing bath, but it was uncomfortable, and I wasn’t feeling it. It still took a further four hours, including more manual manipulations of our baby’s head, but at last I was in the final stage of labour, and with it adrenalin kicked in.

A powerful urge My body was overwhelmed by the strength of the process that had taken over it. The birth felt like it was no longer in my hands, but that some primal knowledge my body had innately built in was coming in to play.

My surges took on a whole new form too, and it felt like what I can only describe as concrete waves were moving through my body to help my baby emerge.

It didn’t feel painful (thank you, you miraculous blend of adrenaline and oxytocin) but it felt immensely and scarily powerful. I did not feel entirely in control of my body.

Suddenly my midwife was getting me into a more comfortable position on the bed and telling me when to push and when to stop. It was very hard to pause pushing. My mother, Mark and my doula Anna were all next to me, with Anna still talking me through my breathing patterns and guiding me through. Mark held my hand, only releasing it to witness the top of our baby’s head crowning. Before we knew what was happening, I was unashamedly making deep animalistic groans and our midwife was directing me through our final push.

Welcome to the universe Theodor Our deliciously healthy baby was born at 4:08 pm weighing 3.79 kgs on 9 June 2017 – about 60 hours after our first contractions. Our baby was scooped up into my arms, skin to skin, and it made its way up for its first feed. It was about ten minutes later that we suddenly realised we still didn’t know if our baby was a girl or a boy. We had a look. Our son Theodor (“Gift from God / the Universe”) was named there in the hospital room.

I felt so empowered, so strong, so proud of my body and Mark, our midwife, our doula Anna and my mother for the journey we had shared. Four hours after the birth, we moved from the hospital to the Paraparaumu Maternity Unit. We loved our stay at the Paraparaumu Maternity Unit and are so grateful for the gentle and kind midwives that made our first few days together as mother and baby so peaceful. We will never be able to thank our wonderful midwife and doula enough for their tireless dedication and comforting natures.

Birth – you can expect the unexpected. DON’T PANIC. It’s all part of your birth journey and crash course into parenthood!

Sophi Reinholt, Kapiti 

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What a

good spread!

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‘What a good spread!” is often the first comment heard at community get-togethers when it’s time to eat. Whether the venue is a local hall, Parents Centre rooms, sports club, woolshed or home, sharing food with family, friends and neighbours is a traditional and enduring aspect of socialising.

Through the recipes in ”A Good Spread”, Rural Women New Zealand (RWNZ) members continue to demonstrate their love of good food and cooking, as well as their commitment to community involvement.

Some of the recipes in the book are old favourites that have been passed down through the generations. Others are tried and true from the much-loved and well-used blue cookbook that Rural Women New Zealand first published in 1965. The book also contains new recipes contributed by current members.

Rural Women New Zealand, formerly the Women’s Division Federated Farmers, was formed in 1925. Today, members continue to actively advocate for sustainable rural communities, offer educational opportunities and provide a vital social and community network to all rural families.

Anzac Biscuits Recommended by Betty Bryant, Muhunoa East Branch, O-taki, and Lynette Barrett, Owaka Branch, South Otago.

Ingredients 1 cup rolled oats 1 cup flour 1 cup sugar 1 cup coconut 1 teaspoon baking soda dissolved in 2 tablespoons hot water 125 g butter and 1 tablespoon golden syrup melted together

Method ‘A Good Spread’ costs $25 + delivery.

Available from: enquiries@ruralwomennz.nz www.ruralwomennz.nz

Mix together dry ingredients.

Add soda and water to butter and syrup, then pour into dry ingredients.

Mix. Take small portions, roll into a ball, the flatten with hand and place on tray. Bake till golden brown in a medium oven.

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Cheese Scones My husband loves these – Pauline Wardle, Pongaroa Branch, Eketahuna

Ingredients 2 cups flour 1 teaspoon icing sugar

Chocolate Crunch (Choc Rough) A great favourite among my grandchildren – they like to eat it hot, with the icing running!

I usually make a double quantity for Christmas and special occasions – Beverley Blackwell, Awana Branch, Great Barrier Island.

Pinch cayenne pepper 2 teaspoons baking powder 2 teaspoons cornflour ½ teaspoon salt and celery salt 1 tablespoon butter

Ingredients 175 g butter 1 teaspoon vanilla essence 1 cup Weetbix

1 cup flour ½ cup sugar 1 tablespoon cocoa 1 teaspoon baking powder 1 cup coconut

Method Melt butter with vanilla. Combine dry ingredients. Pour melted mixture over dry ingredients and mix well.

Press into a greased Swiss roll tin.

Bake for half an hour at 180°C. Ice while hot and cut into squares.

1 cup grated cheese 1 cup milk

Method Mix dry ingredients, rub in butter and cheese, mix to soft dough with milk.

Knead into a square about 2.5 cm thick. Brush top with a little milk and cover with extra grated cheese.

Bake in a hot oven for 10 minutes.

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Connect with other new parents and their babies through music, movement and play Space for you and your baby is for parents and their new babies, to explore parenting and children’s development and is the perfect next step following Parents Centre’s Baby & You classes.

Find a Space for you and your baby near you at

parentingplace.nz/space

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I noticed the following recipe on a pie plate hanging on the wall in a friend’s house. It was a wedding present 25 years ago. And yes, she has baked the occasional pie in it, but not often as it is very special. A few days later I read the ‘recipe’ to some friends and one told me she had often used it as an autograph when she was a girl – Avila Allsop, Waimauku Branch, Kumeu 2 handfuls friendship Tons and tons of love 4 cups tenderness

Zucchini Bake

Oodles and oodles of forgiveness

This is really good cold in children’s lunchboxes. It’s also a great way to use up extra zucchini – Lynley Muldrew, Kauru Hill Branch, North Otago.

1 gallon loyalty spiced with faith Mix love and tenderness. Blend together with loyalty spiced with faith. Serve daily with generous helpings of laughter.

Ingredients 4 large zucchini, grated (do not peel) or about 4 cups 1 onion, finely chopped 4 rashers bacon, chopped 1 cup cheese (tasty is best) 1 cup flour 1 ½ teaspoons baking powder ¼ cup oil

World’s Best Chocolate Chip Cookies Maria Dickie, Kauru Hill Branch, North Otago

Ingredients 220g butter 3/4 cup white sugar

4 eggs Salt and pepper

1 cup brown sugar 1 tablespoon vanilla extract

Method Combine all ingredients and put into a greased flan or lasagne dish, bake for 40 minutes or until cooked at 180°C. Serve hot or cold.

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2 eggs, lightly beaten 3 cups all-purpose flour 3/4 teaspoon baking soda

3/4 teaspoon salt 3 cups chocolate chips

Method Preheat oven to 180°C. Cream butter and sugar. Add vanilla and eggs, mix well. In a separate bowl, sift flour, baking soda and salt together. Add dry ingredients to the creamed mixture and mix well.

Add the chocolate chips. Line cookie sheets with baking paper and place spoonfuls on to the sheets. Bake 10–12 minutes. Remove from oven and cool on wire racks. 

Winners

Congratulations to the lucky winners from issue 291

Duck to decorate Laura Davis, Whangaparaoa Felicity Palmer, Auckland Helen Wilkinson, Auckland

Merino/opossum blanket Jason Pickens, Auckland

Boba Wraps Andy Chen, Masterton Larissa Howard, Lower Hutt

Honeywraps Aleisha Gaudelius, Mosgiel

60 pack of breastpads Kate Kannan, Rotorua Emily Baxter, Pukekohe Gemma Hay, Waiheke Island Liz Martyn, Dunedin Bernice George, Napier Jasmin Kerr, Invercargill Sarah Tolutau, Auckland Rosie Roland, Wellington Aneesa Dent, Shelly Beach Aimee Newport, Napier

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Our Partners Supporting us to support you Parents Centre New Zealand was started by a small group of parents over 67 years ago with the aim of establishing better maternal health services for pregnant women. A service where parents are fully informed, can ask questions and have a choice in how they birth and parent their baby. This group started New Zealand’s very first antenatal classes. Since then we’ve grown into a national organization supporting and advocating for families right across Aotearoa.

We rely on our partnerships to help us deliver these services to communities all around New Zealand. Our partners are essential to Parents Centre, not only to help fund the work we do, but also to provide resources and member benefits to all our Centres and member families. This strength in our Centres and communities adds real and critical support to new parents.

Philips Avent is a long-standing partner and has been supporting our families and Centres with breastfeeding information and support for almost 12 years. This is a truly collaborative partnership and we genuinely value their ongoing support.

Catherine Short, Partnerships and Advertising Manager

A word from Philips Avent Becoming a parent is an exciting time but it can also be overwhelming with often more questions than answers, so having access to advice and support when needed along the parenthood journey is critical.

Philips Avent, in conjunction with the Parents Centre educators and centres nationwide, is dedicated to providing information and advice to help mums in their baby-feeding journey.

With over 30 years of expertise in baby feeding, Philips Avent products are inspired by nature and designed in collaboration with parents and healthcare professionals, extensive research and clinical trials. Our products support the choices you make, whether breastfeeding or bottle feeding or combining the two.

Michelle Rice, Brand Manager, Endeavour Consumer Health

Johnson & Johnson PC member benefits: All attendees of Parents Centre CBE and Baby and You get a J&J baby bath gift pack and information on science of the skin. www.jnj.com

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Huggies online pregnancy and parenting The Sleep Store PC member benefits: 20% off selected items which are regularly updated

PC member benefits: All attendees of CBE get a Huggies gift pack, attendees of Baby and You and toilet training programmes get gift packs.

www.thesleepstore.co.nz content/parentscentre

Phone: 0800 733 703 www.huggies.co.nz

Supporting Kiwi parents

0800 222 966 / www.babyonthemove.co.nz

Baby On The Move

Philips Avent

Resene

PC member benefits: 20% off car seat hire, selected buggies and cots for all members.

PC member benefits: Supply breast pads and breastfeeding information to all members.

Phone: 0800 222 966 www.babyonthemove.co.nz

PC member benefits: Various discounts on decorating supplies and paints with Parents Centre membership card.

Phone: 0800 104 401 www.philips.co.nz/AVENT

www.resene.co.nz

Parenting Place

Poise

U by Kotex

www.theparentingplace.com

PC member benefits: All attendees of CBE and Baby and You classes get a Poise gift pack.

PC member benefits: All attendees of CBE get a U by Kotex gift pack.

www.poise.co.nz

www.ubykotex.co.nz

SplashSave PC member benefits: 30% discount on water safety package.

If you want to partner with Parents Centre, or would like to discuss how this may work for your business, contact Cath on:

www.splashsave.co.nz

c.short@parentscentre.org.nz

Birthing Centre A free service to women of all ages whose pregnancy is considered lowrisk primary care. www.birthingcentre.co.nz

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Win great giveaways

Enter online at kiwiparent.co.nz and follow the instructions.

Entries must be received by 5pm, November 8, 2019. Winners will be published in issue 293.

10 sensory balls to be won Bolli is a new sensory development ball for kids and babies that is great for stretching, manipulating, grasping, and teething. The open ball design is fantastic for shape exploration, fine motor skills, grasping, and hand-eye coordination. With a tactile sculptural design, the soft and pliable material can be squished and stretched.

Free from any nasties, the Bolli Ball is made from 100% non-toxic, BPA- and phthalate-free, food-grade silicone and is dishwasher and freezer safe.

RRP $14.99.

Win a Touchwood Safety Cot New Zealand's most trusted brand for 30 years.

So, if peace of mind is important to you, choose a Touchwood. That way not only will your baby be able to sleep better at night, but you will too. RRP $895. www.touchwoodcots.co.nz

Win a Woolbabe Sleeping Suit

“This never leaves your baby’s side!” – Stacey, possum blanket customer. A powerful blend of merino and possum that covers your baby in warmth and softness and weighs close to nothing. In the wool's natural colour, this knitted blanket is chemical-free and perfect for covering up, whether in the pram or the cot. Knitted in New Zealand. RRP $194.95.

This innovative new design keeps the most-loved properties of our renowned Woolbabe sleeping bags, with their gorgeous 30% merino/70% soft organic cotton blend fabric. This beautifully soft fabric is knitted specially for Woolbabe! Ensuring additional warmth and temperature regulation, the quilted filling is merino wool rather than manmade fibres like polyester. RRP $159.

www.rootswings.com

www.thesleepstore.co.nz

Win a beautiful merino/possum blanket

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