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SUPPORTING PARENTS THROUGH THE EARLY YEARS
AUGUST – SEPTEMBER 2018
Congratulations! You’re pregnant – now what? Find a midwife Learn about childbirth education Pregnant in style and comfort Setting up your nursery
Life hacks for parents Kids are smart, so we need to be smarter
When baby has other plans A birth plan that changed
Worldschooling The world is your classroom
The magazine of Parents Centre New Zealand Inc
Pregnancy, baby and toddler – everything you need
17 - 19 AUGUST ASB Showgrounds, Auckland
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Visit us on Stand H35 Come and see Parents Centre at The Baby Show Who are Parents Centre New Zealand? Parents Centres have been supporting parents for over 65 years and are the largest provider of childbirth (antenatal) and parent education to all parents in the community. Through our network of 46 community-based Parents Centres, we also offer crucial support networks at a time when parents need it most, throughout the exciting yet uncertain months of pregnancy and the early months and years of becoming a parent. Becoming a member of Parents Centres Membership with Parents Centres provides you with a range of fantastic benefits including: Support - networks, resources, expertise and a strong national voice for parents
Friendship - coffee groups, shared experiences and connecting with other parents
Education - information, empowerment, life skills and access to ongoing parenting programmes Kiwiparent - receive 1 years subscription to Kiwiparent Magazine
Offers and Discounts - from a range of partners
Early Pregnancy the first step in your parenting journey to give baby the best start and consider your choices and options as parents Childbirth & Early Parenting (Antenatal) essential information to prepare you for childbirth and early parenting Baby and You practical and sensible tips and information for enjoying and making the most of those first months with your newborn Moving and Munching exploring babyâ€™s first foods and development stages Return to Work practicalities and information to prepare for returning to the paid workforce Parenting with Purpose several programmes focusing on how you want to parent and how your child ticks. Strategies and skills for positive encouragement, discipline and effective communication Music and Movement stimulating music activities for your baby and toddler
Value of parenting - opportunities to participate in strengthening communities and supporting parents
The magazine of Parents Centre
Cover photo: Baby Chris from Wellington. Laura Ridley Photography, Wellington family photography www.lauraridleyphotography.com
Focus on maternity
Life hacks for parents
Congratulations, you’re pregnant! Now what?.................................................................. 8–12
Learning for life – childbirth education Liz Pearce....................................................................14–15
Pregnant in style and comfort.....................16–18 Feeling good post pregnancy Nikki Clarke................................................................20–21
When the going gets tough
Birth story: When baby has other plans Sarah-Jane Frederickson.............................................68–70
Letters to the Editor....................................................... 4 The way we were............................................................. 5 Product page..................................................................6–7 Hugs on the cover of Kiwiparent.........................32
Perinatal anxiety and depression........................22–23
Beginning to breastfeed......................................34–37
No baby is naughty
Setting up your nursery..........................................24–26
Buy with confidence
Parents Centre Pages............................................39–43
Choosing bassinets and cots.................................28–30
Make every sleep safe.......................................46–48 Worldschooling Kim Black........................................................................50–55
Keep it real baby – the power of authentic relationships Porse................................................................................56–58
Keeping your home warm EECA energywise.........................................................60–63
Find a centre....................................................................44 It only takes a moment Water Safety new Zealand .......................................74–75
Our partners..............................................................76–77 A crying shame SKIP.........................................................................................78
Winners from the last issue.....................................79 Giveaways..........................................................................80
SUPPORTING PARENTS THROUGH THE EARLY YEARS
AUGUST – SEPTEMBER 2018
Every one a miracle!
Congratulations! You’re pregnant! | pages 8–12 When you find out you are pregnant, there are plenty of decisions you will need to make. We have prepared a series of articles that will help you to find a Lead Maternity Carer, navigate the language of maternity, feel good both during and after your pregnancy, stock up your nursery safely and help you start your parenting journey with confidence.
Worldschooling | pages 50–55 While many people dream of taking time out to travel the world, it always seems like there are so many reasons why it isn’t possible. But one Kiwi family took the plunge and made their dream into a reality. Read how the Blacks join a growing number of parents who are taking their children on extended trips and embracing life on the road.
Life hack for parents | pages 64–67 Wellington author Rob Cope notices that many parents are right on the brink of exhaustion and burnout and that is a very hard place to parent from. As a dad of four, he has plenty of experience to draw on – so shares seven of his life hacks to help you stay sane as a parent.
Kiwiparent. Since 1954. The magazine of Parents Centre New Zealand Inc Editor
Leigh Bredenkamp Ph (04) 472 1193 Mobile (0274) 572 821 leighb@e–borne.co.nz PO Box 28 115, Kelburn, 6150
Parents Centres New Zealand Inc Ph (04) 233 2022
Editorial Enquiries Ph (04) 233 2022 or (04) 472 1193 info@e–borne.co.nz
Advertising Sales Taslim Parsons Ph (04) 233 2022 x8804 Mobile 021 1860 323 email@example.com
Design Hannah Faulke edendesign.nz
Proofing Megan Kelly
Opinions expressed in the magazine do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the publisher. Advertising in this magazine does not imply endorsement by Parents Centres. Generally material in this publication may be reproduced provided it is used for non-commercial purposes and the source is acknowledged. However, written permission must be sought from the editor. Kiwiparent is proud to support the WHO/UNICEF International Code of Marketing of Breastmilk Substitutes adopted by the World Health Assembly in 1981.
We had something pretty special to celebrate when our Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and her partner Clarke Gayford announced the safe arrival of baby Neve in June. Everyone in the Kiwiparent team offer our sincerest congratulations to the new parents! And to all the other mamas and papas that welcomed a new baby to their family on that day – our congratulations to you as well. If the statistics are to be believed, there will be 167 other families with a new baby born in New Zealand on that day, and on every other day of the year as well. Every one of them is a small miracle! I love the way that the Ardern-Gayford family took themselves off without fanfare to a public hospital when baby was on the way. Together with the staff at Auckland City Hospital, they were well cared for by their midwife Libby, whom the Prime Minister thanked on Instagram following the birth. Twenty years ago, New Zealand adopted a woman-centred community of care model of primary maternity care. This means that the midwife or specialist doctor you choose to care for you when you are pregnant is responsible for you and your baby’s care until baby is about six weeks old. You are able to build a trusting relationship with your care provider and this helps you to be better prepared for birth – and parenthood. Every single day new Kiwi parents are created – and there is a lot to learn. All the mechanical things like feeding, bathing and changing are important, but so are the other, less tangible things. In the first thousand days, new babies are very busy. This is a unique window of opportunity when the foundations are laid for health, growth and neurodevelopment that will last a lifetime. The way that caregivers respond to and care for their babies has a massive impact on their development. Auckland paediatrician, Dr Simon Rowley, says that touch is the mother of all senses and a nurturing touch gives babies and children security, confidence and self-assurance. These are all key attributes that prepare little ones for life. We have focused on maternity matters in this issue – parents-to-be have to navigate unfamiliar territory when they are pregnant. There is a whole new language to learn: “Have you chosen your LMC, did you book in for a scan, have you finalised your birth plan?” You will be asked to make many decisions: “How do you find a midwife, where will you give birth, do you need a cot AND a bassinet?” Sometimes, it can feel a bit overwhelming. I hope this issue helps with some of your queries as, like the Ardern-Gayford family, you are about to embark on a very special journey. I wish all new mums and dads every joy in their new roles, you’ve got this covered! Leigh Bredenkamp
ISSN 1173–7638 Printer Caxton Design and Print
The magazine of Parents Centre
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Creating something of value I really enjoy your magazine (I'm not usually a magazine reader). I have a bunch I've not read yet but the ones I have read have little tags on the articles I valued and want to refer back to – so thanks for creating a worthy publication which supports women/parents.
Sarah-Jane Frederickson, Wellington
Community support in Taieri Taieri Parents Centre was delighted to receive $935 through the Good in the Hood competition, which will go towards funding our Pregnancy, Childbirth and Early Parenting Education classes. We would like to thank our members and local community for their support and give a special thank you to Ivan and his fantastic team at Z Mosgiel for giving us this opportunity. A big thank you as well to Jonathan and Lisa along with Z Energy. Jonathan Usher, who works for Z Energy, is also one of the best magicians in the country and he kindly put on a free show for Parents Centre Week. We had an awesome Family Fish & Chip night with magic! The show was enjoyed by everyone from two-yearolds, right through to grandparents. It was a great finale to Parents Centre Week for Taieri.
Mel Harkess, Taieri Parents Centre Photos top to bottom: 1. Ivan Watt – Z Mosgiel Manager, Mel Harkess Childbirth Education Convener TPC, Jonathan Usher – Local Z Retailer. 2. Alex Harkess and Jonathan Usher at the Magic Family Fish & Chip night.
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The way we were An extract from 'The Trouble With Women' The Story of Parents Centre New Zealand By Mary Dobbie Published by Cape Catley Limited. The first skirmish over children in hospitals flared in Christchurch in 1949. At the centre were Nancy Sutherland (a founder of Parents Centre), Professor Ivan Sutherland of the psychology department of Canterbury College, and their small daughter, Julia, aged two and a half, who had lost the end of a finger in a home accident. At the hospital emergency clinic the nursing sister in charge had done her best to get rid of the mud-splashed mother in gumboots and torn smock (Nancy had been tending the family cow at the time) who was determined to stay through all procedures. Upstairs an equally acerbic sister whisked Julia out of her mother’s arms with, “I will undress the child, thank you, Mrs Sutherland.” But when the sister tried to force the frightened little girl to swallow a sedative by holding her nose, it was too much for Nancy – she hit the nurse’s wrists. “It was purely instinctive,” she said afterwards. But an outraged staff member called the doctor who told Nancy, “That is actionable, you know.” To which Nancy retorted, “So was the assault on my child.” An upset mother in gumboots might be ignored, but not an angry professor of philosophy who very shortly stalked through the wards and restored Julia to her mother’s arms while he phoned the family doctor with a request that the surgery be undertaken at a private hospital. He returned in time to hear a nurse explaining to his wife (her social status now identified) that it was psychologically quite wrong for her to stay with the child during the administration of an anaesthetic. It wasn’t the time for an argument in which Professor Sutherland might have marshalled a formidable array of evidence to the contrary. Julia was taken to Calvary Hospital where she stayed in her mother’s arms until the anaesthetic took effect, and found both her parents there when she opened her eyes. By teatime she was back home again.
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The incident was over for Julia, but not for her parents. They now began to search out published material on the emotional effects of a hospital stay upon babies and small children. Nurses had been trained to regard parents as upsetting to their children, as bearers of forbidden sweets and unsuitable gifts, and as carriers of germs. In their view, children admitted to hospital belonged to the hospital; parents entered on sufferance and when the last straggler had been rounded up at the end of the weekly 'one-hour visit' they set about with a sigh of relief to restore order to the dishevelled beds and weeping children.
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Y EA R S
The magazine of Parents Centre
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Father and Child Trust Aotearoa Happier Dads and Families Upset? Confused? Suffering loss in your role as a father? …or just need more information about being a dad? Discover fatherhood: How dads can help during pregnancy Why it’s vital to bond with your baby Why touch and play are important How to co-parent and work as a team How other dads or advocates can help You are not alone – meet other solo dads Why it’s great to stay an involved dad Family agreements without the courts Being an involved dad can be amazing! We help make more families happy together. fatherandchild.org.nz
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Congratulations! Youâ€™re pregnant!
For most women this is wonderful news – but, after the initial euphoria, a bit of panic can set in as reality hits home. What now? Do I need a midwife? How do I find one? What on earth is an LMC? Home birth or hospital birth? Every single day, midwives welcome around 168 new babies into the world in New Zealand. Some pregnancies are planned, some are a big surprise, but no matter where you’ve decided you’d like your baby born, a qualified care professional will be there to care for you and your baby. When you find out you are pregnant, you will need to choose who’s going to look after you as early as possible. It’s important that you feel comfortable with and trust the person who will care for you during your pregnancy and when you are having your baby. Your midwife or specialist will be with you throughout your pregnancy. They will check baby’s growth, position and heartbeat, and take your blood pressure and arrange for you to have blood and urine tests. They will also make sure to offer screening tests and scans to check that both you and your baby are developing well. If you decide to have these tests and scans, your midwife will arrange them for you and then explain your results. Your midwife will also explain how often you will need to be seen during your pregnancy. These visits may be able to take place in your home, at a maternity clinic, on the marae or in a hospital. Most women in New Zealand choose a midwife but you may wish to be under the care of a specialist doctor – an obstetrician. In some places a general practitioner (a GP) who has been specially trained to care for pregnant women may be available. This professional is called your Lead Maternity Carer (LMC) and they will look after you while you are pregnant, during labour and birth, and for the first few weeks after your baby is born. If there are any concerns about you or your baby, specialist care will be provided if you need it at any stage, no matter who your LMC is. Specialist care is usually provided through your local hospital, and in this case it’s free. Midwifery care is free to all women who are residents of New Zealand.
What to expect from your midwife The midwife you choose to care for you will be responsible for your care throughout your pregnancy, labour and birth, and will continue to look after you and your baby until around six weeks after the birth. They (or the midwife they use as a backup) will be available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. They will provide you with care and information about the choices you can make. Your midwife will: develop a plan with you for your care, including your labour and birth t alk to you about staying healthy during the pregnancy be with you during your labour and birth r efer you or your baby to specialist support if needed. You might need to be referred for a consultation to a primary care provider or a specialist. If necessary you may be transferred to a specialist for all or part of your care if a condition affects your entire pregnancy or labour. This will involve a three-way conversation between you, the specialist and the midwife v isit you (or arrange for you to be visited) at the hospital and in your home at least seven times after your baby is born r efer you to your chosen Well Child Tamariki Ora provider after your baby arrives h elp you to enrol your baby at a general practice for doctor and practice nurse services.
Continued overleaf... The magazine of Parents Centre
Safe to practise All midwives who work in New Zealand need to hold an annual practising certificate. They are issued with a card they usually carry with them. Your midwife should show you her practising certificate card. If she does not, ask to see it – any conditions on her practice will be listed on the reverse. You can also search the Midwifery Council online register. This is the most up-to-date way to check a midwife's current practising status. www.midwiferycouncil.health.nz
So – how do you find a midwife? Ask around – Talk to your friends and family/wha-nau. Most mums are happy to pass on the contact details for their midwife if they were happy with the maternity care they received. Talk to your GP – Your GP will be able to discuss your options for maternity care and give you the contact details of midwives in your area. Contact the New Zealand College of Midwives – The College manages a useful website (findyourmidwife. co.nz) which helps to locate midwives in your area. Call the Mum2Be helpline 0800 Mum2BE (0800 686 223) – This number is operated by the Ministry of Health. All you have to do is call and leave your details and someone from the Ministry will send you a list of midwives in your area. Contact Nga Maia – This is a national organisation supporting Ma-ori in pregnancy and childbirth and they can supply contact details for Ma-ori midwives. Contact Home Birth Aotearoa – This organisation represents the many district home birth associations. Its website lists contact details for home birth midwives. Get in touch with your local hospital maternity unit – Your local maternity unit may be able to give you contact details for midwives in your area. DHB maternity units can also provide maternity care but they will only take you on if you can’t find a midwife.
Birth wishlist/plan As part of planning for your care, your midwife will help make a birth wishlist or plan with you. The plan describes your own personal hopes and wishes for the labour and birth. It’s also useful if your midwife can’t be with you during your labour and birth for any reason, as the backup midwife will know what your wishes are. Some of the things that will go in your birth plan include: w here you want to give birth – at home, in a birthing centre or in hospital who you want to be with you during the birth how you would like your place of birth to be set up – you might want things to relax you like special music and lighting
Your entitlements when you give birth in New Zealand You are entitled to a minimum of seven postnatal visits including a visit within 24 hours of discharge from hospital. Postnatal care extends to six weeks after the birth of your baby. You can change your LMC at any stage if you are unhappy for any reason and if you can find a replacement.
w hat pain relief you would like if needed, such as acupressure, gas and air, pethidine, morphine or fentanyl injection, or an epidural w hat you would like to do with the whenua/ afterbirth. Sometimes things don’t go to plan – babies have their own ideas of how and when they will arrive! If there are complications during labour or birth your midwife will be making sure that you and your baby are safe first of all. Some women like to talk about such moments beforehand – others prefer to wait and see what happens at the time.
h ave everything you need to know carefully explained, and be able to ask any questions you need so that you can make informed decisions about all the care for you and your baby r efuse any care offered to you (and to change your mind at any time) have someone with you for support complain about the treatment you receive. If you have any questions or concerns about your health care, the information you are asked for or your privacy, you should talk to your midwife or specialist doctor.
Know your rights
Questions for your midwife
In New Zealand, by law, you have rights to:
Finding the right person to care for you and your baby when you are pregnant is vital – after all, you are trusting them with not only your care but the care of your baby as well. Most women find it is helpful to have the same midwife throughout their pregnancy, during the birth and when baby is born – although you can change the person who is looking after you at any time. Here are some questions you can ask your midwife to help you make the right choice.
professional care from skilled staff b e treated with respect, including respect for your culture, values, beliefs, customs, privacy and confidentiality k now how your information is stored and used, and who it will be shared with v iew any information held about you and to correct it if necessary k now about the services that your midwife or specialist doctor provides
Do you have a current practising certificate? How many births have you attended? A re you practising under any conditions (eg under supervision, practice type, prescribing)? W hat is your philosophy about birth – things like your attitudes to pain relief, home births, antenatal tests and ultrasounds (scans)?
Find out more For further helpful information, you can go to:
W hat is the range of services I can expect – how many antenatal and postnatal visits?
NZ College of Midwives www.midwife.org.nz
W ho do you work in co-operation with – what backup do you have?
The Midwifery Council www.midwiferycouncil.health.nz
W hat choice will I have in selecting these alternative providers if you aren’t available?
Ministry of Health Maternity Services www.health.govt.nz
If your LMC is not a midwife, what options do you have for midwifery care in labour and after the birth of the baby?
Continued overleaf... The magazine of Parents Centre
Your guide to maternity language LMC – Lead Maternity Carer – refers to the person (midwife, obstetrician or GP with Diploma in Obstetrics) who provides maternity care for women. Obstetrician – this is a specialist doctor concerned with pregnancy and childbirth. Perinatal period – this generally covers the time from conception through to when your child turns two. GP – is the abbreviation for General Practitioner or family doctor. Medical pain relief options during labour and birth – these include gas and air (a mixture of nitrous oxide and oxygen sometimes called Entonox), pethidine, morphine or fentanyl injection, or an epidural.
When you are in labour Will you assess me at my home? Will you be there for the whole of my labour? How can you be contacted? W hat are the backup arrangements if you are on holiday or not available? W hat arrangements do you have for backup in labour? When would you transfer my care?
How busy is the midwife The New Zealand College of Midwives recommends a caseload of 40–50 births per year. What is your caseload?
And a few more things… W hat is your intervention rate? What percentage of the women you care for have inductions, epidurals, episiotomies etc? What will happen if I require specialist care? I f I chose to have a homebirth, what equipment will you provide for emergency use?
Prepared with information from the College of Midwives, the Midwifery Council, the Ministry of Health and Plunket.
Natural Pain relief options – these include acupressure, acupuncture, water, relaxation mantras, breathing, massage, etc. Pregnancy screening tests – you will be offered a range of tests during pregnancy which can include blood tests and screening for Down syndrome and other conditions. Ultrasound – also known as sonography, ultrasound is used to check up on fetal development and can also detect problems in liver, heart, kidney or abdomen – as well as establish more accurate due dates. Birth plan – this is a guide you work on with your LMC or midwife to guide and inform your carers about your wishes. DHB – District Health Boards are responsible for providing health and disability services and will fund delivery wards and maternity care facilities at hospitals throughout the country. NICU – Neonatal Intensive Care Units provide specialist care for babies who are born prematurely or who have serious health problems. Well Child Tamariki Ora programme – a free service provided by the Ministry of Health to all Kiwi kids from birth to five years. Well Child providers include Plunket, marae health clinics and other social and health services.
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The magazine of Parents Centre
Childbirth education classes prepare you for parenting
I am often asked whether, in this day and age of digital connectedness, there is still a need to run childbirth education classes. Why go out on a cold winter's evening when you could stay home and hop onto Facebook to connect with other parents? Google will provide answers to every possible birthing question, and there are experts at your fingertips who will instruct and advise you. Attending childbirth education (sometimes known as antenatal) classes in your community supports you to make informed decisions with quality information appropriate to New Zealand. Having access to this information makes something that may be unknown or unfamiliar just a little less scary. Quality information also helps you to understand your rights, and gives the confidence needed to work with your maternity carer when making decisions together about your care. Parents Centre antenatal classes are all facilitated by diploma-qualified childbirth educators. This means that you will be provided with a range of evidence-based information in a manner that facilitates discussion and encourages you to participate. Our facilitators have adult teaching skills to ensure that the classes are engaging, interactive and fun â€“ a sense of humour is a great asset to any parent! This type of learning helps participants to develop a fuller understanding of the topics and also gives the participants lots of opportunities to develop support networks and friendships. Parents Centres are famous for our coffee groups!
What parents have to say about childbirth education classes “Definitely recommend these classes, especially for fathers; I wasn’t sure I wanted to attend, but got so much more out of it than I’d expected.” “Loved the learning and the opportunities to interact and make friends with others going through the same as us.” “The course pointed out a lot of things we didn’t know and cleared up a lot of queries.”
The label ‘coffee group’ can sound like the high life – “just popping out for a coffee with the girls!” In fact, these social groups are often life- and sanity-savers. You’re with a group who are experiencing so many parenting similarities where you can be real, you can share the highs and the lows, and you come away feeling like you’re not the only one, and often with some practical tips to boot. Through these groups come lifelong friendships and the memories you’ll share over the years are priceless. At our Parents Centre antenatal classes, we encourage the dads/ partners to form a social group too; support and friendships are important for everyone.
Beyond the birth Parents Centre classes don’t just prepare you for childbirth, but also provide information for when baby arrives. Participants are given plenty of opportunities to engage in practical learning. Classes teach essential things like which nappies to use, and selecting appropriate bedding for the nursery. There are practical demonstrations on bathing, swaddling and supporting your baby, and plenty of information to help you establish good breastfeeding habits. There is also a session
on recognising the roller coaster of postnatal emotions that mums and dads can face. Understanding how babies tick will make those more challenging moments when baby is unsettled so much easier, as you learn what works best to respond to and soothe your little one. Our classes aren’t just for the pregnant mum; there is equal value for dads and partners – after all, we are called Parents Centre and we believe that caregivers all need support and information. Childbirth education classes have come a long way since the 50s when parenting was really mothering and fathers had little day-to-day contact with their children, especially when they were babies. Parents Centre classes today are aimed at providing excellent information and practical skills for both the new mum and new dad or partner. I have taught childbirth education for 17 years, and I keep taking classes because I have a huge passion for the incredible ability of the body to give birth, the amazing transition to becoming a parent, the wonders of a newborn, and to be honest, we have so much fun in my classes!
Returning to the paid workforce?
The Return to Work programme offers practicalities, information and tips to prepare for returning to the paid workforce. Early Childhood Education choices Parental guilt & seperation anxiety Negotiating flexible working house Contact your local Parents Centre for more information on the Return to Work sessions scheduled for the year.
Liz Pearce Liz is the Parent Education and Operations Manager at Parents Centre. She has also facilitated antenatal classes for Mana and Kapiti Parents Centres for an impressive seventeen years. Liz lives on the Kapiti Coast with her husband and three teenagers. She also has two stepchildren and two adored step-grandchildren. IN PARTNERSHIP WITH
The magazine of Parents Centre
style & comfort
Not so very long ago, maternity clothing meant you had to wear tent-like dresses and big, baggy tops. Nowadays, though, there has been a resurgence of interest in fashion for mums-tobe and maternity clothes have been reinvented as both stylish and practical. With so many designers and stockists, there is something to suit everyone’s taste and budget. No two pregnant women are the same – some women just pop out in front, others put on weight all over. You won't know how your body's going to change with pregnancy until it actually happens, so it is safest to buy clothes as you need them – all the while remembering that your body will keep changing as your pregnancy develops. How much you spend and what you choose to buy is up to you. There are plenty of New Zealand-based maternity stores online and pregnancy boutiques are becoming more common. You can also find local stockists of both new and secondhand maternity clothes by googling ‘maternity wear’ or in the Yellow Pages. Whether you’re buying secondhand or new, there are lots of places to find great-looking maternity clothes and, with a few basic pieces, you can create a maternity wardrobe that celebrates your changing shape. Make the most of your new body and buy something special, but remember to be practical as well – comfort and support are important.
Get the foundations right Support the girls by investing in the best bra you can find – you need good support and you need good comfort. You may end up buying several bras both during and post-pregnancy but it's worth it.
Maternity wear fabric should be stretchy so that it grows with you, but it also needs to be breathable and quick drying. If you’re planning on wearing the top after baby is born, look for fabric that will absorb breast milk and unexpected baby spills quickly and without leaving a mark.
Lisa Ebbing from iconic New Zealand company Hotmilk Lingerie explains why pregnancy bras are so necessary. “Traditional bras don’t have room for the diaphragm to grow during pregnancy and they also have an underwire which is not recommended to wear whilst pregnant or nursing. Our bras all have soft cups or flexible wire and have six rows of hooks and eyes when traditional bras have only three. This allows room for the diaphragm to expand during the months of pregnancy and lets the mum tighten it after the baby is born and the diaphragm settles. Comfort is critical."
If you are spending your hard-earned money on maternity clothes, it is good to be able to use them after baby is born too, so look out for tops that are feeding friendly.
Lisa strongly advises against wearing underwire during pregnancy and during the early days of breastfeeding. “Underwires place pressure on the milk ducts and soft, tender tissue, potentially blocking milk flow and leading to plugged milk ducts. This may even lead to nasty infections. Seams and stitching across the nipple area or unlined bras can cause irritation on already sensitive and tender breasts. All our bras have either concealed seams or seams designed to avoid the nipple area and therefore the risk of chafing.”
You are unlikely to be wearing your favourite jeans when you’re nearing the end of your pregnancy and chances are you won’t be able to fit into them comfortably for a few months after baby is born either. A couple of pairs of plain cotton pants and a versatile skirt are useful items for a maternity wardrobe.
As maternity bras are designed to cater for a rapidly changing bust, if fitted correctly one size should see you through pregnancy and breastfeeding. Usually women wait until at least 20 weeks to move into maternity bras. While there are lots of online stores that sell maternity bras, you need to be careful to get the size right before you decide to buy.
Maternity tops A few basic tops are a useful addition to your maternity wardrobe, but they don’t have to make you feel ungainly. There are plenty of styles available with flattering necklines, pleats and tucks that grow along with the rest of you. Some designs also have double layers or discreet openings to make breastfeeding easier once baby is born.
Bear in mind that it’s not only your belly that grows when you’re pregnant – your bust increases as well! Look out for tops with a flattering neckline and make sure there is ample room across the bust and back for you to grow.
The key thing to consider when buying pants or skirts is what type of waistband they have. The waistband needs to be expandable, but it also needs to be comfortable. Wide Lycra bands are great and can be positioned over or under the belly, and drawstring waistbands are also popular. Elastic bands can get uncomfortable, especially in the later months. Belly belts are a great way to make the most of your pre-pregnancy buttoned waistbands. They button onto your existing button to extend the waistband, and come with fabric panels which insert into the gap.
Maternity dresses A dress or two is a great asset to have in your maternity wardrobe. There are plenty of styles to choose from that are specially tailored to flatter your blossoming body, so don’t be tempted to just buy an ordinary dress three sizes larger than would normally fit you. Make sure your maternity dress leaves you room to grow across the bust, back and belly, is made from a breathable fabric and is feeding-friendly as much as possible.
Continued overleaf... The magazine of Parents Centre
If you’re only planning on buying one or two ‘going out’ outfits for your wardrobe, you will want to make sure they are versatile. Choose a dress that can be worn with or without a top, or one that has changeable straps like the classic 6-way dress that has been around for years.
There are a few important things to look for in shoes to wear when you are pregnant. Firstly, they should be easy to put on – in the later stages of your pregnancy you will have to stretch over a growing belly to reach your feet, so slip-ons without laces are a good option.
With added weight, your joints will be under more stress than usual, so choose shoes with good ankle and arch supports.
Good shoes can help alleviate many of the pains that come on after spending time on your feet while pregnant. Officially there is no such thing as maternity footwear, but there are plenty of shoes on the market that are comfortable and supportive. Do your best to avoid wearing high heels when you are pregnant. Your weight increases and your body shape changes as pregnancy progresses – this means your centre of gravity shifts, which makes you walk differently and more unsteadily. Ligaments tend to be looser as well, which can lead to some joint instability, putting you more at risk of falling.
Easy access shirts and tops are great for breastfeeding.
You will also need to have shoes that will provide you with a bit of extra room, as feet and ankles will swell in pregnancy. Many women find that they jump up a shoe size – but comfortable shoes will allow you to remain standing for longer.
Working with a limited budget Stick with plain colours and simple, styled clothing, and create different outfits using accessories. Mix it up with different coloured/styled necklaces, scarves, loose bangles and earrings. Keep an eye out for clothes swaps and borrow items off family or friends who have said goodbye to their pregnancy days.
Stretchy knit fabrics are good, as are fabrics that drape and hang beautifully over your body. Lightweight sheer fabrics are also good for a looser, more flowing look.
Be open to the option of buying pre-loved. Women who go crazy and buy tonnes of clothes as soon as they're pregnant often end up not wearing half of them – these are the bargains you're looking for!
With weight gain and changes in your body, many women find they overheat – look for lighter-weight, cooler, loose-fitting clothing.
Prepared by the Kiwiparent team with input from readers with plenty of practical experience.
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MATERNITY + NURSING The magazine of Parents Centre
Feeling good post-pregnancy
Feeling fit and healthy after having a baby can sometimes seem out of reach. The truth is there’s no one thing that magically makes you feel like your pre-baby self, it’s really a handful of small, yet important actions that you can work into your days that can help you stay motivated, energised and feeling good.
Perhaps start with one area and work it into your life for a few days and then choose another and so on.
Look after yourself Don’t be in a rush to start working out. Take care of your body from the inside out first with good food and water. Don’t feel pressured to work out until you feel you are ready. For some women this can be two weeks and for some it may be three months – or more. There is NO rush!! Exercise will always be there and it is more important to get your body healed first. Trying to do too much
too soon can have lasting negative effects so take your time.
Breastfeed before you exercise
This will help in more ways than one. By feeding your baby first, your boobs won’t feel so heavy and therefore it will be more comfortable if you are doing high-impact activity. Secondly, your baby is less likely to need feeding mid-workout, meaning less chance of being disturbed. But if they do need to feed every five seconds (like my three babies did) make sure to find yourself a comfortable yet supportive nursing sports bra.
Water is essential for life. It’s the one thing we need to consume on a daily basis in order to keep our body functioning. This is even more important when you’re breastfeeding. A great tip is to keep a decent sized water bottle (at least one litre) by your side when feeding and while out and about. Make sure you get a drink bottle that’s a funky colour or something you really like so you’ll be more motivated to keep it with you. The bigger the better.
Eat well The food you eat is so important when you’re a new mum. Forget feeling guilty about not pounding the pavements, the best thing you can do for your body after having a baby is to fuel it with nutritious food. Food that’s high in nutrients will not only help to produce breastmilk for your baby but it will also make you feel better, give you more energy, aid in your recovery and help fight fatigue.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help Too many times, as new mums, we feel as though we should be able to do everything. There’s nothing wrong with asking for help. If you’re in a position where you have family or amazing friends around you offering help, don’t be afraid of saying yes. Whether it lets you squeeze in a quick nap, or simply have a shower and wash your hair (ahhh, that first hair wash post baby), taking time for
because home-made is best for your baby
yourself in those first few months is crucial for you, your baby and your family.
Just do a little bit Start with a goal of doing just two minutes of movement. It can be dancing, a few squats or even lunging in the backyard with the pram. Just anything! So often we think that unless we get a sweat up and bust our arse for 30 minutes or an hour, then it wasn’t worth doing. This is far from the truth. Every little bit is doing you good. You might find that you can do ten squats in the morning while waiting for the washing to finish, ten lunges holding baby while watching TV, and another ten squats later in the day, it doesn’t have to be all at once. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Just move… that’s all there is to it.
Wear clothes that motivate you Once you do start exercising, my best tip for fitting in exercise around feeding, nappy changes, washing, eating, drinking, nappy changes, washing, feeding (you get it),
is to wear clothes that are conducive to exercise. Put on clothes for the day that you’re able to exercise in. When you happen to have a few minutes spare during the day while baby is napping, wearing a dress isn’t exactly going to entice you to do some quick exercise. But if you are wearing leggings or shorts, a good nursing sports bra and comfy nursing tank you are MUCH more likely to take baby for a walk or do some stretches. It’s hard enough to get out of the house some days, or even get off the couch, but if you are geared up for it from the get-go you’ll be off to a great start.
2 compact baby food freezing trays with lids. 1.2L capacity for maximum storage recipe e-guide with 27 recipes for starting solids and beyond
Nikki Clarke Nikki, pictured above, is a Northland mother to four young kids. She is also the founder and director of global activewear brand Cadenshae, a range of maternity and nursing clothes designed for pregnant or breastfeeding mums who like to be active. As a qualified personal trainer and a busy mum, Nikki loves to share her tips and tricks on maintaining an active healthy lifestyle as a new mum.
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When the going
gets tough It can be quite a harsh transition from being childless to entering the world of parenthood. Pregnancy should be a time of joy and happiness, but for many mums- and dads-to-be, it's also anxiety-provoking and can be a deeply unhappy time. Often, if someone is experiencing depression or anxiety, they swallow their feelings for fear of being judged. Perinatal (that's the period while a woman is pregnant and through to two years after a baby is born) anxiety and depression affects one in five Kiwi mums and one in ten dads. Even more women experience a sense of overwhelming loneliness that is not always clinically diagnosable. While most parents are primed to expect sleepless nights and baby brain episodes after baby arrives, no one really tells you about how lonely your days will be and how much time you spend alone with your baby. Even coffee groups and occasional visits with friends can’t fill the gap – you only get to spend a few hours with other parents during the week, so there's still a lot of time to be alone. Your days can seem endlessly long when your partner leaves for work in the morning and doesn't get home until late evening. This can be extraordinarily isolating for a stay-at-home parent – especially if you're going through a period where your baby is unsettled. Such isolation – and boredom – is exacerbated by the expectation that it's meant to be a joyous time. While it is joyous for many, it can also be challenging. Parents can be stuck at home, feeling tired and sometimes it is just too hard to get the energy to leave the house. They believe they're supposed to be happy and coping and can feel as though they are at fault. Social media can also cause problems because it creates the illusion of connection and perfection, which can make parents feel even more alone and less capable. When you see a beautiful Instagram or Facebook shot of a perfect baby, always remember the other 99.9 per cent is likely to be a different story completely. Good social support and connection play a significant role in positively influencing the mental health and well-
“PND is generally considered to be a depression with a good outcome for recovery. In my experience this is true. Just hold on to hope. Many of us have experienced it. Support is crucial, especially from people who are able to sit, listen, and make no judgments about your feelings and thoughts.” – Kathryn
being of new parents. Social support consists of handson help, emotional support, access to information and affirmation that the mum or dad is doing a good job.
Feeling stressed and overwhelmed It’s common to feel overwhelmed and stressed during pregnancy or when you are looking after a new baby, so it’s a good idea to talk with a trusted person. Sometimes mums and dads can find help in supportive friends, wha-nau or health professionals. For many parents, just speaking about their fears and frustrations is all that is needed. A good listener can be a great help. Talk to someone who might be able to help you work through how you’re really feeling without judging. However, if you are worried, talk to your midwife, GP or Plunket nurse, as they will have the professional skills to support you or refer you to further help if necessary. You may benefit from being referred to a counsellor, psychologist or a psychiatrist. In some cases, medication can be prescribed that will help you. Sometimes the stigma around mental health problems is too great and parents suffer in silence. Often they don’t seek help because: they may not realise they have a problem that can be treated t hey hide behind masks, not sharing their true feelings with close friends they are afraid of being labelled a ‘bad mother or father’. Those who do speak up find it is worthwhile persevering to get the right help. Research consistently shows that parents who receive timely professional counselling have the best chance of recovering more quickly from antenatal and postnatal anxiety and depression, and going on to be the best mother or father they can be. So, if you feel as though you aren’t coping, remember that you aren’t alone – many other parents feel the same – and there is help available.
Where to go for help Parents who get the support and help that they need are more relaxed and better able to look after their children. If you are mentally unwell, extra support is essential, so seek advice from your midwife, GP or Plunket nurse in the first instance. Support from your family/wha-nau, friends and other parents may not always be possible – or be enough.
If you or someone else is in immediate danger, please dial 111 for assistance. Need to talk to someone? Free call or text 1737 any time for support from a trained counsellor Lifeline – 0800 543 354 Suicide Crisis Helpline – 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO) Healthline – 0800 611 116 Samaritans – 0800 726 666 Depression Helpline – 0800 111 757 or free text 4202 (to talk to a trained counsellor) PlunketLine – 0800 933 922 Parent Help – 0800 568 856 Family Services Helpline – 0800 211 211 for help finding (and direct transfer to) community-based health and social support services in your area Supporting Families in Mental Illness – 0800 732 825
Online resources and support options www.pada.nz www.depression.org.nz www.health.govt.nz
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Nesting Setting up your nursery
If you are expecting your first baby, the list of things you are urged to buy by zealous marketers can seem overwhelming... and at a time you are about to lose one income. Shops are filled with hundreds of products and long lists of so called 'essentials'. But most parents find they don't need half of what people will try to sell you. Try buying items that make a difference to your baby's well-being rather than just stuff to fill your house. The amount of clutter a baby can accumulate is unbelievable. After your baby is born you won’t want to do much more than rest and learn how to parent this captivating little bundle, so it is a good idea to do as much planning as you can in advance. Before your due date, stock up on non-perishable basics, such as toilet paper, sanitary pads and nappies. If you have a big freezer, cook some meals in advance and freeze them. Don’t be shy about asking your partner, wha-nau and friends to help you – the less pressure you are under when you come home, the better it will be for you and baby. Here are some suggestions of what you will need to get the nursery – or baby space in a shared room – ready for the new arrival.
Baby's bedroom furniture
99Bassinet and/or cot – you may
want your baby sleeping in your bedroom for the first few months, so you might consider choosing a folding bassinet to take up the smallest possible space. If you are buying a cot, make sure it meets the NZ standard. (Read more about safety standards on page 28.)
A Moses basket is a great alternative to a bassinet, as they are cheaper and can sit inside your cot or be carried around the house.
99A change table is useful, as it
saves straining your back leaning over. However, changing nappies on the floor is also fine and takes away the risk of baby falling off the change table.
99A dresser or some baskets will
be necessary to hold all the clothes, wraps, bedding, nappies etc etc.
99A nightlight is a big help so you can easily do your night feeds and change a nappy when it is dark.
99A room thermometer helps
you to make sure the room is comfortable. (Read more about heating your home on page 60.)
99A new mattress is a good
idea if you are borrowing a cot or bassinet.
99A baby bath is important for the first few weeks. But if you have a big bath, babies love to hop in with mum or dad.
If you are using a baby monitor that has pads positioned under the mattress, pay special attention to the safe installation instructions, as the cords need to be carefully tucked out of reach of your baby.
Baby bedding This is an area where you can spend a fortune and easily end up with a lot of things you don't need. Stores are filled with frilly duvets, padded cot bumpers and lots of other impractical items which can be dangerous. Plunket recommends you only use natural fibres for baby bedding – either cotton, wool or bamboo as they will help keep your baby’s body at the right temperature. It’s a good idea to make sure everything is machinewashable too! Here are some thing you will need:
99wool or cotton blankets – buy for
your bassinet before baby is born and wait until later for cot size; you may decide to use sleeping bags instead of blankets, meaning you potentially won't end up using cot size linen
99baby sleeping bags are another
option rather than sheets and blankets – this means your baby stays warm all night (less likely to wake) and there is no loose bedding to come up over your baby's face.
Dress your baby, not their bed. In cooler weather, use more clothing layers on your baby rather than more bedding layers. Your baby will be free to wriggle about while sleeping yet stay warm and safe.
Humidifiers for colds, congestion & dry coughs
Huge range of quality baby carriers
If you use a blanket, make sure it is lightweight, well tucked in under the mattress, and can’t come loose or cover your baby’s face. Place baby near the foot of the cot so they won’t slip down under the covers. If you decide to swaddle your baby, use the arms-free method. On cold nights, you can warm their cot with a hot-water bottle but make sure to remove it before baby goes to bed. Don’t use a wheat bag to heat baby’s bed, they can overheat and burn.
99mattress protector or underlay,
Babies usually need one more layer of clothing than you do. Clothes made from natural fibres such
or use a woollen blanket
Merino sleepwear & natural fibre bedlinen
To make sure your baby is comfortable:
99cotton sheets – at least two sets to cover washing
Award-winning wool & cotton bedding
Exclusive merino sleepwear & essentials
Fitted swaddles white noise & comforters
www.thesleepstore.co.nz facebook.com/SleepStore | @thesleepstore
Get your EXCLUSIVE code & save on selected styles from The Sleep Store! Go to thesleepstore.co.nz/content/parentscentre magazine of & Parents Centre toThe sign-up for yours for further details. 25
Position the cot away from curtain or blind cords that could get tangled around baby’s neck. Baby should not be able to reach any curtain cords or electrical cables, such as cords for the baby monitor or a night light.
Travel safely You will need to make sure that you have a baby capsule for your newborn so they can travel safely in a car. These are rear-facing and cater for babies from birth through to when they are around fifteen months of age. It is worth buying one rather than renting if you plan on more than one baby, but hiring a capsule is a good option for many families. Child Restraint Technicians are trained to install car seats and can offer advice on which restraints will work best for you. Find a technician near you at the New Zealand Transport Agency – www.nzta.govt.nz
as cotton and wool will help keep their body at the right temperature. You don't need to buy a lot of baby clothing to start with, as it's the most common thing you will receive for baby gifts. Unless you know you are having a very small baby, buy your clothing from 000 and bigger. The 0000 or newborn size will only fit for a few weeks. Look for practical garments that are as simple as possible. Babies often hate being undressed and dressed, and will likely be screaming at this point, plus it will take a few weeks for you to be confident getting those little arms and legs inside. As with your bedding, choose items made from cotton, wool or bamboo.
Try to avoid dressing your baby in fleece or polyester, and don’t use synthetic clothing for sleeping, as they are more likely to overheat. Use light layers rather than thick garments and remember to keep your baby's head uncovered when sleeping.
99 they’re snug (close) fitting. This article was prepared with information from Plunket, the Ministry of Health and The Sleep Store.
99 they’re made from natural
fibres, to help keep their body temperature even
99they’re easy to put on and take off
99 they look comfortable and
have enough room for your baby to grow
an organic cotton bedding pack
Win an organic cotton duvet bedding pack from The Sleep Store with pillow and wool filled duvet inner, plus a reversible wool fleece underlay. Winner can choose their size between single and king single. RRP of $480. Enter online at kiwiparent.co.nz and follow the instructions. Entries must be received by 5pm, 31 August, 2018. Winners will be published in issue 286.
as these can strangle babies
When you choose clothing for your baby, Plunket recommends you check that:
Be in the draw to win
99there are no cords or ties,
The next issue of Kiwiparent will feature and article on getting out and about with your baby – strollers, buggies, baby carriers and more.
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Buy with confidence Choosing bassinets and cots
Buying a cot for your new baby is a big investment – not only in monetary terms, but also in the comfort and safety of your growing child. There are many options – you can buy new or secondhand, from a store or online. Or a generous friend can give you their cot because their child has graduated to a grown-up bed. Whatever option works for you, there are important safety considerations to take into account so you have the comfort of knowing that your child will be safe when they are tucked up asleep. Tragically, every year Kiwi babies still die suddenly in their sleep – and many of these deaths could have been prevented. Babies can suffocate during sleep due to unsafe cots and bassinets when their face, neck or chest become wedged between sleeping surfaces and bedding. This is called ‘unintentional suffocation’ and is preventable. The risk can be reduced if the right precautions are taken when purchasing sleep products. According to the Child Youth Mortality Review Committee (CYMRC) some infant deaths occurred when cots and bassinets had an incorrectly sized mattress that allowed for wedging between the mattress and the base of the cot. Another common factor was that the sides of the cot were faulty and allowed babies to slip through and become trapped.
In New Zealand, many infant products are covered by standards that aim to prevent just such injuries or at least reduce the risk. These guidelines can help families and wha-nau when they buy cots or bassinets.
Buying a bassinet While there are no Australian or New Zealand safety standards for bassinets, there are helpful pointers to use when you are looking at different options: T he bassinet should be sturdy and durable with a wide base. T he mattress should be firm and fit snugly around all sides with no gaps larger than 25mm. T here should be no sharp edges or protrusions that could hurt a baby or snag their clothing. Mesh sides provide good ventilation.
Buying a cot As soon as babies can support their own weight and lift themselves, or when they outgrow their bassinet, you should think about moving them into a cot. Look for a certification mark that shows the product complies with the AS/NZS 2172, such as the ‘S’ mark (must be accompanied by the Standard No and a Licence No)
Mandatory standard When looking to buy a cot â€“ either new or secondhand â€“ it is important to make sure that it complies with the mandatory safety standard AS/NZS 2172:2003. All cots sold in New Zealand must comply with this standard. This standard requires that the cot must not have any gaps or protrusions that could trap a child or catch their clothing, and it must not have any sharp edges. Additionally, the sides must be high enough to stop a small child climbing out and there should not be any footholds. It is important to note that if a cot is old or damaged, it may no longer meet the requirements of the standard. Also, products bought overseas might not comply with New Zealand safety standards. When buying a cot or bassinet always make sure you get good construction instructions, as you will need to know how to set up the product and use it safely â€“ not always as easy as you would think! If you are buying second-hand, check the manufacturer's website to see if the instructions can be downloaded.
Continued overleaf... The magazine of Parents Centre
or the Australian ‘tick’ mark. There may also be some other certification body’s logo referenced.
Buying a portable cot
If you are buying a second-hand cot, look it over carefully.
While there are no Australian or New Zealand safety standards that apply to portable or folding cots, there are some key things to watch out for:
Check there are no broken or wobbly bars.
Avoid cots that have puffy fabric sides.
A ll bolts and screws should be firmly in place and not protruding.
T he cot should have two locking mechanisms to prevent it from collapsing accidentally.
The corner posts should not stick up more than 5mm.
T he cot should be stable and have good base support.
M ake sure the mattress fits the cot snugly, and that there are not gaps which would allow a child to become trapped beneath the mattress. The mattress should be firm and flat.
T he mattress should fit snugly with no gaps at the sides or ends. Only use a mattress that was designed specifically for the cot. I nside the cot, there should be no footholds that could allow the child to climb out.
Key features of AS/NZS 2172 regulations
T here should be no gaps that could trap a child’s finger, limb or head.
S pace between bars must be between 50–95mm.
I f the cot has a removable base, check that it is firmly secured.
N o protrusions (which measure more than 5mm) that a child could fall on or could snag clothing (for example, nuts and corner posts).
M esh sides give good ventilation and allow you to easily see the child.
M inimum depth of 600mm from the mattress base to the lowest point on any side or end. N o horizontal or diagonal bars or other fixtures that would allow a child to climb over the sides.
Make sure there are no protrusions or sharp edges.
A pocket on the outside of the cot is good for storing small items or toys.
Find out more
S pace between the cot ends and sides and mattress sides no more than 20mm when the mattress is centred.
The Health Quality and Safety Commission www.hqsc.govt.nz
P ermanent warning and information label on the mattress base.
The Commerce Commission www.comcom.govt.nz
More comfort, more milk When you are comfortable and relaxed, your milk flows more easily. That is why we created our most comfortable breast pump yet; sit comfortably with no need to lean forward and let our soft massage cushion gently stimulate your milk flow.
Comfort breast pumps
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Hugs on the
Entries have closed and the photos are being judged in the 2018 Huggies Cover Star competition. We have been really touched by all the precious entries we have received. Not only are there beautiful photos of mums and bubs hugging, but we have also received lovely pics of dads and bubs as well as great sibling photos. It has been wonderful to see our community getting involved in the competition.
An affectionate hug aids in the development of interpersonal relationships and can promote feelings of devotion to and trust in Mum. Newborns are neurologically wired to stop crying when held and, particularly in infancy, a hug-induced reduction of stress hormone, cortisol, can even encourage more restful sleep.
We’ve been delighted with the response, with around 1,000 entries received. We are looking out for those images that show loving connections – parents, children, siblings, grandparents, pets – those special moments that illustrate closeness and attachment.
Look out for the winner of the Huggies Cover Star competition on the cover of the next issue of Kiwiparent!
We are so very impressed by the high quality of entries we have received and it’s also been a bonus to read all the comments made with the photos. The parents sharing their photos are amazing.
Why do hugs matter It’s a universal language and the first one that humans learn. The very act of hugging releases oxytocin (known as “the bonding hormone”), a process beginning immediately after birth. But, the benefits of touch are not just for baby. Skin-to-skin contact reduces the stress level for Mum too, allowing her to be more attentive and receptive to her baby’s needs. As creatures beginning to grasp their surroundings moment to moment, a hug alone can literally make them feel more comfortable in their own skin.
Hugs have been part of Huggies® Nappies’ DNA since 1978 when Kimberly-Clark employee Boyd Tracy thought to combine the words ‘hugs’ and ‘babies’, and came up with a brand name that communicated how the nappy “hugged” the baby’s shape.
Worth capturing, because there’s nothing like a hug
The magazine of Parents Centre ® Registered Trademark Kimberly-Clark Worldwide, Inc. © KCWW
Starting to breastfeed your baby can be a bit challenging at first, but there are many simple tips and suggestions that will help you ease into breastfeeding.
Get your position right Choose a sitting or lying position that you find most comfortable. Getting your breastfeeding position right is important to avoid getting cracked nipples if your baby has poor attachment, or stiff muscles in your back, shoulders or neck. Make sure to have things you may need ready beside you before you start to feed – things like a cold drink and a snack, your phone and something to read, as well as toys or books for an older child.
Find the best position for baby Hold your baby across your front, not quite tummy-to-tummy. Bring your
baby up to the breast from below, not the breast to your baby, so that your baby’s eye makes contact with your eyes. The way your baby attaches to the breast is important for successful breastfeeding. Here are some tips: S upport your baby’s neck and shoulder with your fingers and thumb spread out so their head can tilt back slightly. This raises their chin off the chest so that they can open their mouth wide, and keeps their nose clear for breathing. T ickle your baby’s upper or lower lip with the nipple or a finger and wait for them to open their mouth wide with the tongue forward. B ring your baby onto the breast. Their chin and lower jaw should touch the breast first. Y our baby’s lips should be flared (turned outward), and cover more of the areola (the darker skin around the nipple) with the bottom lip than with the top lip.
T heir head should be tilted slightly back, not pushed into the breast, so their nose is clear for breathing. When they are settled in this position your baby should be able to have eye contact with you. When your baby is getting milk, they have a particular suckingswallowing pattern. The baby opens their mouth wide, then they pause as they get a mouthful of milk, then they close their mouth. The longer the baby pauses with their mouth open, the more milk they’re getting. If you look closely, you can also see their little ears wiggle as their jaw moves. Getting breastfeeding working well is not always easy, and some women take up to six weeks to fully establish breastfeeding. If you are finding it difficult, talk to your midwife, lactation consultant, La Leche League, Plunket nurse or call PlunketLine if you feel you need more support and information.
around. This is normal and simply a sign that they are bright and curious and interested in the world around them.
If things don’t work out
BECAUSE EVERY DROP OF BREAST MILK COUNTS
Some women experience problems during breastfeeding – if you are feeling overwhelmed and discouraged, talk to your midwife or ask to see a lactation consultant. To help prevent your milk ducts from getting blocked, wear loose clothing and a well-fitted bra.
Sore and cracked nipples
Breastfeeding as your baby grows It’s best for your baby if you breastfeed only (not giving them any solid food) until they’re around six months old. Many mums continue to breastfeed after baby has started solid food, until they’re at least one year of age or older. You may notice some breastfeeding changes when your baby is between six weeks and six months of age. Baby may feed for a shorter time and less often as they go through various growth spurts. Your breasts may feel softer but not so full. This is normal as your breasts and milk supply settle and become more efficient. It doesn’t mean that you have less milk, as long as your baby is sucking and swallowing when on the breast, feeding regularly and growing well. Baby may start to become distracted by voices and noise during feeding and come off the breast to look
Nipples shouldn’t hurt during the feed. Most sore nipples are caused by baby being in the wrong position at the breast. Thrush infections can also cause sore nipples. Thrush can feel like a burning pain, and you may feel it throughout and after the feed. This is caused by a spasm of blood vessels. The spasm causes a burning pain, and the nipple looks white, then a throbbing pain occurs as the nipple turns back to its normal colour. This may also be caused by a condition of the blood vessels, called Raynaud’s phenomenon. Talk to your midwife or Plunket nurse if this happens to you. There are some things you can do to help heal sore and cracked nipples:
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Express a few drops of breast milk, gently massage it on your nipples, and allow it to dry. Leave your nipples uncovered or loosely covered between feeds to help them heal. Avoid using soap on them, because it can irritate the skin.
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You can reduce the pain of cracked nipples by taking paracetamol. Be careful to take paracetamol as directed on the packet; taking it for more than a couple of days or too often may be harmful. See your health provider if the pain continues or if you can’t improve your baby’s position on the breast and your nipples are not healing.
Engorgement or breast fullness Breast fullness usually occurs two to four days after birth when the breasts become swollen, hot and painful to touch. To relieve this engorgement try to: f eed frequently, making sure baby is attached well to avoid sore, cracked nipples gently express milk to soften the areola (darker area around the
nipple); if it’s swollen, the baby can’t get onto the breast easily use different feeding positions or try to feed lying down h ave a warm shower before feeding apply cool face cloths to your breasts between feeds wear a comfortable, nonrestrictive, supportive bra t ake paracetamol as directed on the packet for pain but see your health professional if pain continues for more than a couple of days.
Blocked milk ducts Breastfeeding mums may experience breast lumps, which can be caused by a blocked milk duct. Feeding more frequently from the affected breast may help to clear a blocked milk duct, but make sure to continue
to feed from both breasts. Changing the position you use for feeding might help too. If possible, try feeding baby in a position where their chin is near the blocked duct as this will help clear the blockage. You can also: have a hot shower, or apply warm facecloths to the affected breast gently massage any lumpy areas towards the nipple get any painless lumps that won’t go away checked by your doctor.
Breast infection (mastitis) You might have a breast infection if you have these symptoms: aches and pains fever
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Mum's diet Breastfeeding mums need three healthy meals a day, plus healthy snacks and plenty of fluids. Make sure to drink when you feel thirsty – water is the best option. Stress and tiredness can both affect your milk supply, so rest and relax when you can. Despite the urban legends that abound, spicy or gas-producing foods eaten by breastfeeding mothers don’t bother most babies. Unless your baby becomes unsettled or colicky every time you eat a certain food, you don’t need to avoid any particular foods.
feeling shivery like the flu a painful pink or red area on the breast. If you have any of these symptoms, contact your midwife or doctor, or phone PlunketLine as soon as possible. You may need antibiotics to clear the infection. If you are suffering from a breast infection, it is important to keep feeding your baby, as the symptoms clear more quickly if the breasts don’t get too full. The milk is not harmful for your baby to drink. Get plenty of rest and try to sleep when your baby sleeps, and drink extra fluids. Take paracetamol as directed on the packet for pain, but see a doctor if you’re still taking painkillers after two days.
Drugs and alcohol Before taking any medicine, ask your midwife, Plunket nurse, doctor
or pharmacist about the effect of the drug on your baby, as most medicines and herbal remedies pass through breast milk. It’s safest for breastfeeding mothers not to drink alcohol, because the long-term effects on the baby are unknown. Smoking reduces the amount of milk produced and babies may gain weight more slowly, and it also increases the risk of SUDI (SIDS or cot death).
When vegetarian women eat a well balanced diet, they are probably eating well enough for their own and their baby’s health. Women who eat a vegan or macrobiotic diet may need supplements of vitamin B12. If you’re vegetarian, discuss your diet with your midwife or Plunket nurse, or a dietician, to be certain that you’re getting enough vitamins and minerals for yourself and your baby.
Article prepared with information from Plunket and the Ministry of Health.
Find out more If you are worried about anything to do with breastfeeding, talk to your midwife, Plunket nurse, or doctor. You can also contact: PlunketLine on 0800 933 922 La Leche League: lalecheleague.org.nz Find a lactation consultant: www.nzlca.org.nz
Are you feeling really ready to give Birth and mother a Newborn? Maybe do the quick 30-Question self-check at http://snip.ly/27dfsm At KathyFray.Com I am passionate about providing the most comprehensive Maternity Consultant Support Packages available in NZ! For more information book a FREE 20min no-obligation chat to find out if one of my Maternity Support programmes is the right fit for your unique needs www.kathyfray.com/support/ The magazine of Parents Centre
Just like adults, every baby is different. Your baby may be easy-going and calm, or wakeful and active. They may settle quickly into a regular routine or be more unpredictable. If they cry a lot, it doesn’t mean they’re being naughty or annoying you on purpose. Crying is their way of communicating – and although it can be hard to cope with (especially when you are tired too) this stage won’t last forever. Whatever your baby’s personality, you can get your relationship off to a great start by:
As they grow, you will be able to build on the loving foundations that you have already put in place by: Talking and listening – talking with kids and really listening to what they say makes them feel heard and builds their confidence. Guidance and understanding – children are more likely to co-operate when they understand why we want them to do something. Clear, simple explanations are the most effective. A structured and secure world – safe, supportive environments provide security and reduce conflict. Consistency and consequences – consistency involves predictability. From an early age, children learn that an action has consequences.
Giving them lots of attention – you can’t spoil a baby with too much love.
Limits and boundaries – rules keep things safe and fair for the whole family. They need to teach mostly ‘what we do' rather than ‘what we don't do'. They need to work for everyone – for children and parents.
Responding quickly to their crying – it makes them feel more safe and settled.
Singing, talking and cuddling – it all helps their brain to grow and builds a stronger bond with mum and dad. Smiling at them lots – eventually they’ll smile back!
Love and warmth – you can never spoil a child with too much love. Showing warmth and affection builds trust, positive self-esteem and strengthens your relationship.
In this section Celebrating Parents Centre Week
Educating and supporting parents through the early years Antenatal classes and parent education. While these are certainly not all the things do, we are justifiably proud of delivering fantastic classes around the country! Parents Centres New Zealand was founded back in 1952 largely through the critical need to improve antenatal education and birthing practices in this country.
Sleep on side when baby’s inside Spotlight on Antenatal Classes Find a Centre near you
We have achieved plenty since then, including: successfully advocating for fathers to be allowed to be present during labour and birth establishing the practice of babies “rooming in” with their mothers and not being banished to a nursery p romoting breastfeeding as being normal and the best form of feeding for babies and supporting the World Health Organisation (WHO) code for this
Photo: Balclutha celebrates.
i nitiating unlimited hospital visits for parents of sick children e stablishing a diploma-level course specialising in antenatal education in the country. We have an awesome team of expert Childbirth Educators (CBEs), all trained to diploma level and passionate about the importance of quality childbirth education. We’ve been educating parents for over 60 years, and believe that, with the right information, birthing choices sit firmly with you, the parents. Knowledge is empowerment, enabling you to have control over what is the start of the most incredible journey of your life – becoming a parent. Perhaps you could be interested in becoming a Centre volunteer? The opportunities for volunteers at Centre level are many and varied – you can read more about the fun different Centres around the country have had celebrating Parents Centre Week on pages 40 and 41. If you would like to learn more, simply contact your local Centre or check out our website to find out how you can become involved. We would love to see you! www.parentscentre.org.nz
The magazine of Parents Centre
Tuesday's Active Movement classes were given two sessions from Playball Dunedin where 18 months old to four year old worked together stealing pirate treasure and doing other activities.
Marking Parents Centre Week around the county Parents Centre Week is the highlight of the year at Dunedin Parents Centre with a full-on schedule of activities. Every playgroup had a visit from an entertainer of some sort, a pamper evening for the parents, capped off with a Matariki Disco.
Thursday evening provided space for parents to come in and have some pampering just for them. This included massage, hair cuts, and short waxing services. Friday Music enjoyed some interactive storytelling from Ali at Woven Stories. The families came together in the evening for a disco where the children enjoyed disco ball lights and a glow stick in the dark. Becky the Face Painter also arrived as a princess to add some colour.
Monday's free play playgroup had Mad Max the magician provide some tricks for young and old, as well as a visit from Fire Emergency NZ with a fire truck. One of our committee members provided face painting as there was no guarantee that FENZ would be able to make it!
We also ran a raffle with prizes from Baby Factory, University Book Shop and Huggies. Playball and University Book Shop are our loyal local supporters, providing discounts to our members.
Mana Parents Centre 20-year reunion
They even managed a group holiday away to the Hawke's Bay when the kids were approximately two years old. Liz says: “We used to do things like having turns looking after one another’s children and supported each other in lots of ways.”
This Mana antenatal group was made up of ten couples who used to meet for antenatal education classes, then carried on meeting after their babies arrived. Around six months after the babies were born, half of the group had gone back to work either part- or full-time. “Our group continued to see each other on a regular basis,” says one of the original members, Liz Pearce. “Sometimes we got together on weekends or else met up during the week, and husbands were always welcome.”
On Wednesday our parents with babies were taught how to make toys out of things they had at home by Arai Te Uru Whare Hauora, a local Well Child provider. That afternoon we arranged for a nurse from the Southern District Health Board to talk to parents about toilet training – she spoke about what to expect around normal training, and when to seek help.
Toni Alexander, Dunedin Parents Centre
Over the years, members of the group continued to take part in activities together – Steiner playgroup, swimming lessons, helping with childcare, kindy gym – then through to kindergarten and later attending the same schools. “Those of us that stayed in regular contact continued to do so when we went on to have second babies, reasonably close in age range,” says Liz. “We were brought together by a common instance in our lives, giving birth. While this was very special it was also scary – but by having the others to learn with and be supported by in good times and bad, as well have lots of laughs together, we made lifelong friends.” The babies in this photo will be turning 20 from 3 August to the end of September!
Alexandra Parent Centre members attended a Sip n Sign class held by Gingham Girls for their ladies' night – a fun evening where you create your own rustic sign using stencils and paint. Clare Bussey says that their Music and Movement classes were heavily attended – this was followed by morning tea and shopping with Kangatraining Wanaka, who sell Cadenshae feeding/ nursing and active wear. “We have also had a new members promotion running at the same time,” says Clare. “We now have three new committee members signed up as well as at least four more members.”
Balclutha Parents Centre marked 30 years in South Otago with a special day of celebration on June 24. Centre President Nicola Law said the celebration was for past and present members and their families. Amid celebrations, there was also time for reflection – a candle was lit to remember Louise Mills, who passed away two years ago and did so much for the Centre. Their 30th birthday celebrations coincided with both Parents Centre Week and National Volunteer Week. “This was our opportunity to celebrate our achievements to date,” says Nicola. “As well as to focus on the ongoing support that our Centre provides to families.”
Gore Parents Centre held a hugely successful fundraiser in July – a winter fete which raised a whopping $8,000 – President Casey Eason says it made all the hard work the committee put into the organising worthwhile!
Greymouth Parents Centre donated these beautiful gowns to McBrearty Ward at Grey Base Hospital as part of Parents Centre Week.
With great pride, Central Hawke's Bay Parents Centre held their 60th AGM, presenting a special Honorary Membership to CBE Janeane Strawbridge for 18 years of service, and 10-year service awards to Ann Johnson, our lactation consultant, and Amy Hamilton a long-standing committee member. Centre President, Hayley Barrett, says: “We ran one of our free Newborn Parenting Sessions and held our annual Bake Sale, making $715 towards our free CBE and lactation consultant service. As part of our 60th celebration we held a Mother's Day Movie Night raising $1,200 and celebrating all those that have been involved with Parents Centre in our region.”
The magazine of Parents Centre
Sleep on side when baby’s inside A recently launched public health campaign provides vital information that could reduce the number of stillborn babies during late stages of pregnancy. The ‘Sleep on Side; Stillbirth Prevention Campaign’ is rolling out nationwide and advises expectant mums to sleep on their side from the 28th week of pregnancy. The campaign has been developed by the University of Auckland and the Ministry of Health, in partnership with child health research charity Cure Kids. Professor Lesley McCowan, Head of the University of Auckland’s Obstetrics and Gynaecology Department, who leads the initiative says: “While it’s been common for women to be advised to sleep on their side when pregnant, a decade of research in four countries across different ethnicities has now confirmed the consistent association between going-to-sleep position and stillbirth.” Lying on your back from 28 weeks presses on major blood vessels which can reduce blood flow to the womb and oxygen supply to the baby. The Sleep on Side campaign raises awareness of the increased risk of stillbirth for such women and encourages a change in sleeping position. Each year in New Zealand, approximately 160 babies are stillborn in the last three months of pregnancy. It’s estimated that if all pregnant women go to sleep on their side from the 28th week of pregnancy, there would be a 10 percent decrease in late stillbirths nationally and the lives of approximately 16 unborn babies a year could be saved in New Zealand. “We can now confirm that going to sleep on either your left or right side halves the risk of stillbirth compared with going to sleep on your back,” says Professor McCowan. The advice to pregnant women during the third trimester is to go to sleep on their
SLEEP ON SIDE WHEN BABY’S INSIDE
FROM 28 WEEKS OF PREGNANCY
side for every sleep, including at night, returning to sleep after night-time awakenings and day-time naps. Parents Centre was part of the advisory group set up to contribute to this initiative. Pregnancy, Childbirth and Parent Education Manager Liz Pearce is delighted that this resource is now available. “It is vital that parents can have access to research-based information to support parents to keep their babies healthy and safe.”
Find out more For more information about Sleep on Side; Stillbirth Prevention Campaign visit sleeponside.org.nz or speak to your midwife, doctor or obstetrician. On social media: #sleeponside @curekidsnz
Each edition of Kiwiparent will profile one of Parents Centre's renowned parent education programmes.
This month the spotlight is on:
‘Antenatal programmes’ Many incredible changes occur to a woman’s body when she becomes pregnant. The wonderful thing is that it all happens without conscious thought. For example, the baby’s fingernails begin forming without mum looking up developmental stages and thinking ‘this week it’s nails!’ How incredible is that? So, why attend antenatal (pregnancy and childbirth) programmes or classes if a growing baby happens without a textbook or instructions; surely birthing and breastfeeding will be the same? The answer is ‘yes they are’. Giving birth is a natural physiological event, as is breastfeeding. In this modern world, however, we are no longer surrounded by birth and breastfeeding in the course of our lives. For many women the first experience they have of birthing is when they give birth themselves. This is not helped by the media’s widespread portrayal of birth, which is often far from reality.
Information is power and, in an often medically-oriented birthing situation, this knowledge is empowering for both parents. Many parents also find it extremely rewarding to have the opportunity to take time out of their busy lives to dedicate a couple of hours a week to planning for the birth of their baby. The ‘coffee groups’ that follow on from the class series become a lifeline for some. To network with other parents at the same stage of life, experiencing similar challenges and joys, is confidenceboosting and very rewarding. The programmes are run by qualified professional childbirth educators who are skilled in knowledge and in facilitation, to ensure that your experience of antenatal classes is fun, interactive, valuable and informative. Go to www.parentscentre.org.nz to find out about antenatal classes running in your area.
Childbirth Educations classes are supported by Huggies.
Sadly this leaves some lacking in confidence and the mother lacking in the knowledge required to trust her own body. This is where antenatal – or childbirth education – programmes can be a lifeline for couples who want well researched, up-to-date information on the basics of childbearing. Parents Centres antenatal programmes cater for all situations, including when labour doesn’t go to plan, and trouble-shooting for times when breastfeeding can be challenging.
The magazine of Parents Centre
Find a Centre near you Parents Centres span the entire country with 46 locations around New Zealand. Contact your local Centre for details of programmes and support available in your area, or go to:
North Island Auckland Region 1
Bay of Plenty
Bays North Harbour
Auckland Region 2
East Coast North Island
Central Hawke's Bay
Auckland Region 3
East & Bays
Wellington North Wellington South
South Island Northern South Island Nelson Marlborough Greymouth Canterbury Region Ashburton Christchurch Timaru Oamaru Southern Region Alexandra Balclutha Dunedin Gore Taieri
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Terms & conditions Subscribers must be New Zealand Residents. Offer endsThe midnight 25 November magazine of Parents 2018. CentreOnly one 45 entry to prize draw per subscriber. Gift not redeemable for cash. Random winner drawn and contacted by Parents Centre NZ Inc. Kiwiparent is the magazine of Parents Centre New Zealand Inc.
Safe sleeping for babies
Did you know that babies only breathe through their noses? As well, they have large and heavy heads in relation to the rest of their bodies – they also have short necks, loose jaws and large tongues. These things together are why sleeping position is so important for babies – lying flat on their backs means that their airways are open. If oxygen doesn’t reach our lungs we suffocate. In vulnerable babies this can happen if their face is covered, their nose is pinched, if their neck is positioned with their chin against their chest – or if there is pressure on or against their chest. Babies are more at risk from accidental suffocation when they are in an adult bed or when they are near or propped up against pillows. They are also more vulnerable if they have been placed on a couch or armchair or if they are in a makeshift bed away from their home. Around 60 babies die each year from SUDI (Sudden Unexplained Death of an Infant), and most deaths are preventable. All babies need their parents help to ensure they are settled to sleep comfortably and safely, as they simply can’t do this for themselves. Everyday things can become sleep hazards for babies as they grow, and placing babies in unsafe positions can be why they get into trouble later in their sleep; common, everyday items like: pillows, soft items, loose covers, adult bedding, soft surfaces, mattresses or couches. Items designed for babies can also cause problems – things like bibs, toys and hats.
When babies are most at risk Tiny babies are at their most vulnerable when are under six months of age – particularly if they have a birth weight of less than 2550 grams or they are born before 36 weeks. They are also more at risk if they have been exposed to smoking in pregnancy or are being cared for by someone under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Another way babies are put at risk is if they are in unsafe sleeping situations.
Tiny babies are also more at risk if they sleep with other people in the same bed (and aren’t in a pe-pi-pod or wahakura), if they are in bulky or tight wrapping, being propped up, have an unusual neck position or there is pressure on their chest. One of the biggest dangers is when the caregiver is using alcohol or drugs and partying.
oxygen and once born is less likely to trigger their wake reflex in low oxygen, alarm situations.
Six principles for protecting a baby’s life
Sleeping baby close by and in their own space protects babies from SUDI. It allows baby to be close enough to alert you of their need and for you to respond. It also ensures they have their own safe space specific to their needs as a baby.
Face Up For all sleeps baby must be slept on their back. Their wake-up reflex is strongest in this position. Since babies have been slept on their backs the rates of SUDI have dropped dramatically.
from brain damage at a critical stage. Never shake a baby. Even a single shake can cause bleeding in and around the brain.
Breastfed A breastfed baby has a stronger immune system, gets sick less often, and has strengthened vital systems.
Close by with own space
Handled gently Gentle handling protects babies
Make sure that your baby’s bed is safe Baby’s bed is safe when: It has a firm and flat mattress to keep your baby’s airways open. There are no gaps between the bed frame and the mattress that could trap or wedge your baby. T he gaps between the bars of baby’s cot are between 50 mm and 95 mm. T here is nothing in the bed that might cover your baby’s face, lift their head or choke them
Face Clear Baby must be free of all loose coverings, including bibs, pillows, loose swaddling, loose sheets, bumpers, soft surfaces, teddies and toys.
Put babies to sleep on their backs so they can breathe unobstructed, and make sure there is no bedding nearby that might cover their faces. Avoid using pillows or loose blankets, remove any cords from bedding, and ensure there are no gaps in their bed in which they might become wedged.
Make sure babies sleep in a smoke-free environment and that the room is not too hot, so they will not overheat while sleeping. Babies need to be smokefree during pregnancy too.
Smoking in pregnancy reduces oxygen to the baby, impacting on their development in many areas. The baby becomes used to low
Ensure the person looking after a baby is sober, drug-free and alert to the baby’s needs.
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Continued overleaf... The magazine of Parents Centre
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is ideal. Avoid undersized wraps from which babies can break free and risk a covered face. Wrap material: Choose lightweight wrapping material. Care is needed if wrapping with heavier materials, to prevent babies from overheating.
Car seats and capsules Car seats or capsules protect your baby when travelling in the car. Don’t use them as a cot or bassinet. Car seats and capsules are not safe for your baby to sleep in when you are at home or when you have arrived at your destination. If your baby goes to sleep in their car seat, always take them out when you get home and put them in a safe place to sleep. Babies can have breathing problems in a car seat if their head falls forward.
– no pillows, soft toys, loose bedding, bumper pads or necklaces (including amber beads and ‘teething’ necklaces). B aby has their feet close to the end of their bed so they can’t burrow under the blankets.
Information about using pe-pi-pods or wahakura are available online.
Where baby sleeps
Safe swaddling guidelines for sleeping babies from Change for our Children
Baby is safest sleeping in the same room as you or the person looking after them at night for their first six months of life. Place the bassinet or cot up next to the bed in your bedroom if there is space – this way you can reach out and touch your baby. It is never safe to put your baby to sleep unattended in an adult bed, on a couch or on a chair. If you choose to sleep in bed with your baby, put them in their own baby
bed beside you – for example, in a pe-pi-pod or wahakura. This may help to reduce the risk of your baby suffocating while they are asleep.
Method: The end result of wrapping should be firm around the shoulders, loose around the hips, clear of the face. (Baby must be able to move their hips freely, make easy breathing movements and maintain a clear face.) Frequency: If swaddling is to be practised, it needs to be applied routinely from birth as 'unaccustomed' swaddling increases SUDI risk. Co-sleeping: Only swaddle babies when sleeping in their own baby bed. Swaddling in any shared sleeping situations increases SUDI risk. Developmental stage: Use a wrapping method that is right for baby's developmental stage. Either stop swaddling when a baby attempts to turn, or wrap using an arms-free method. Specialised wraps: if using specialised wraps ensure they enable you to get the same result: firm across the shoulders, loose around the hips, clear of the face.
Position: Only for babies lying flat and on their backs. Clothes: Dress baby in light clothing and avoid over-dressing babies who are swaddled.
Find out more
Wrap size: A 120 cm x 120 cm muslin or light cotton square
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The magazine of Parents Centre New Packaging. Same Formulation.
Photos (clockwise from top left): 1. Gardens in Singapore 2. On the platform at Hue Station, South East Asia. 3. Fishing village on Kuching River, Borneo. 4. Cai rang floating market, Vietnam.
Many people dream of taking time out to travel the world, but it always seems like there are so many reasons why it isn’t possible. But some families take the plunge and make it a reality; there is a growing trend of families taking their children on extended trips and embracing life on the road. In January 2018 we left on an open-ended adventure with our six-year-old daughter and our nine-year-old son. Our trip began with 100 days in South East Asia, then time in England to visit family. In May we started our camping trip in Europe for the summer. We plan to visit Spain, Portugal, France and Italy with a short trip to Switzerland. A perceived barrier to long-term travel with children is the time they will miss from school. It is the first question everyone asked us: “What about the children’s schooling?” Like many travelling families we practice worldschooling. This means different things for different families. For us it means we believe the whole world is our children’s classroom and they’ll learn from experiences they have and people they meet on our travels. It doesn’t mean that we don’t believe in formal education, we weren’t homeschoolers before, and to be honest I don’t think I could do it for their whole childhood. Infinite amounts of patience are required! Worldschooling makes sense to us now. We want to make the most of educational opportunities while we travel and worldschool means we have the freedom to do that. We considered correspondence school, but I didn’t want them to be in a hotel room working online on whatever the curriculum said we should cover that week while we were in Borneo with real life ecology, climate change and endangered species to learn about, or experiencing geography on the Mekong River in three different countries. It is interesting to note that their teachers’ responses were overwhelmingly positive, they were not at all concerned about what our children would miss in school. Instead they were excited about all the things they would gain from the experience.
Continued overleaf... The magazine of Parents Centre
More than just obvious stuff At first worldschool seemed like the obvious stuff: learn some words in a foreign language, maths through currency conversion and adding up the daily spend, geography from the countries we visit and try some new foods. In fact, it is much more complex than that. It takes a lot of time to plan educational destinations and activities and complete follow-up work. Along with trip planning and bookings it takes many hours of research. Our nine-year-old is expected to do further research on a destination and grasp more complex concepts. Our daughter absorbs a lot by osmosis, writes a short story about what she has done most days and often remembers the most random of facts. We’ve always travelled, but worldschool has changed the way we do it and we’re really enjoying it. We now seek out educational opportunities, rather than traditional tourist attractions, in each destination. My husband and I are learning too, as we visit Roman ruins, Orangutan sanctuaries, Hindu temples, take local cooking classes and chat to monks in Thailand. Borneo was one of our favourite destinations in Asia; we saw orangutans, sun bears, and proboscis monkeys. We took a guided trek in the Bako National Park and came face to face with a pit viper. We spent an incredible hour watching young orangutans interact and learn from their teenage counterparts. They showed off on the playground just like human children! We learnt about the palm oil industry and how the spread of plantations is decimating the habitat of orangutans. We took a Grab ride with a driver who was also a plantation owner and heard his side of the story, the positive benefits for Malaysia’s economy, the jobs for the people of Borneo. It didn’t change our mind about avoiding products with palm oil but it did give us a different perspective.
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Moments and milestones make memories And since 1972, we’ve cherished moments and celebrated the milestones of each baby, toddler and preschooler entrusted to us. That’s because we provide more than full and part time care and education – we provide a Kindercare family.
Photos (clockwise from top left): 1. Women's training center and Moroccan restaurant, Bali. 2. Long tail boats at Koh Lipe, Bali. 3. Scooters at Malaysia. 4. Pit viper, Bako National Park, Borneo. 5. Jatiluwih, Bail.
Inspiring joy and love Fostering creativity and wonder
Nurturing curiosity and enquiry
Pop in and experie nce the Kin dercare differen ce.
www.kindercare.co.nz The magazine of Parents Centre
Responsible travel In Asia we became more informed about travelling responsibly and considering the impacts of tourism on the communities we visited, both positive and negative. We taught the children about social enterprises and visited several in Cambodia. We didn’t shelter them from all the horrors of Cambodia and Vietnam’s history, but some of it was too much for their age. We visited the War Remnants Museum in Ho Chi Minh where we read about and saw through stark photography the devastating impacts of Agent Orange. We met people with birth defects and disabilities from Agent Orange exposure. In Bali we came face to face with the impact of plastic on the environment, witnessing beautiful beaches polluted with rafts of floating plastic. This more than anything has changed our consumer habits around single use plastic and is a disturbing sight we won’t forget. A month into our Europe trip, the education is quite different to our experiences in Asia, it is more history, (our nine-year-old is crazy about the Romans) and the movement of goods and people. As we’ve travelled through Spain and Portugal, understanding how trade and shipping impacted populations and settlements has been fascinating for all of us. In San Sebastian, Spain, we visited a boat yard that is building a reconstruction of a 16th century whaling ship. This confused our daughter for a while; she thought it was a wailing ship. “But Mum, wouldn’t it be noisy?” In Portugal we tasted salted cod, we studied the boats that sailed to Canada to fish, taking Portuguese salt with them and bringing back salted cod. One local person told us she has never eaten fresh cod, only salted. We followed it up with a visit to the salt pans and museum.
Photos (clockwise from top left): 1. Chillies in Sandakan Central market, Sandakan, Sabah, Borneo. 2. Angkor Wat, Cambodia. 3. Plastic rubbish on Kuta Beach, Bali. 4. Floating markets on the Mekong Delta, Vietnam. 5. At Ta Prohm, Angkor Wat, Cambodia.
Parenting Solutions For Everyone Struggling with confusing behaviour that is hard to cope with? Worried about your child’s development? toiling with routines? We offer experienced professional consulting to support your child and families natural dynamic and philosophy on life and parenting.
In the Duoro Valley, during a tour of a winery and cellars, the children discovered how alcohol is made through fermentation. In worldschool you can find a science lesson anywhere! Anytime we do an organised tour, I ask them to each think of and ask a question. Their questions are often insightful and surprise the guide. From the Duoro Valley we saw how wine was transported down the river, and later by rail, to Porto. We visited the cellars in Porto from where the Port was then shipped to England. We practised maths, working out the capacity of oak barrels, each one is different because it is handmade. Now the river is dammed, we had an engineering lesson when we stopped to see the locks working. We’ve had criticism from people that assume that it is all sightseeing and excursions and think that is all very well and fun, but our children won’t be able to read or keep up when they go back to school. This couldn’t be further from the truth. We have two avid readers. Our six-year-old learned to read independently during our time in Asia. We use workbooks for maths, English, science and social studies, as well as occasional online programmes.
Building in confidence Socialisation with other children is a challenge at times. We are now approaching school holiday time in Europe and there are more children at the campsites. Our son can pick up a football and find some team mates to join a game in minutes. They miss their friends terribly, but they are realising that they can keep in touch with them, and meet new people from new places. They have increased confidence to go into social situations, which has been wonderful to see. They can visit the campsite shop and buy pastries for breakfast, speaking in French or Spanish. To any family that is considering taking the plunge into a worldschool travelling adventure, our advice is go for it. Your family will grow in ways you can’t imagine, your children will have their world expanded. The experience is priceless.
Behaviour management Family routine Grief support Simplicity parenting Developmental goal setting Early Intervention Rhythm & rhyme of transitions & the day Benefits of nature exposure Technology use Developmental assessment of your child Ages verses stages assessment Educational support within Early Childhood settings Solo or Co parenting solutions Blended family parenting solutions Toilet solutions We offer support for any learning or behavioural needs for your children & family. Please contact us to discuss how we can help
Aimee 021 147 5070
Kim Black Kim and her husband are on an extended world trip with their two children aged six and nine years. A long-time Parents Centre member, Kim used to work in the PCNZ National Support Centre as the Funding Manager in Wellington. You can read more about Kim’s travelling adventures at: www.backpacksandsunhats.com
The magazine of Parents Centre
The power of authentic relationships
You cannot spoil a baby Contrary to some old myths still floating around, an attuned, caring responsive approach does not make children needy, spoiled or a ‘cry baby’. In fact the opposite is true; the more a baby’s cries are responded to in their first year of life, the less they cry in their second year.
It’s natural to want to hold your baby close. And it’s important that you take the time to cherish these moments because you’re strengthening the connection between parent and child. Babies are born ready to be in relationships, they are hungry for love and attention – so do what comes naturally and respond to them in a loving, nurturing way. The most important experiences, bar none, are relationships. The better the relationships are in a child’s life, the more the brain reaches its maximum potential. The first years of life are like a map where baby learns to navigate the world. If the roads on the map are paved with warmth and connection and ways to manage stress, then the baby moves into the world with a sense of confidence in both themself and the world around them. As caregivers interact with infants in a caring, committed and sensitively responsive way, the child’s brain, body, mind and spirit can all unfold to maximum potential. An infant is entirely reliant for survival on an adult who is emotionally available. A newborn relies on their mother for early regulation – her touch, warmth and her feeding regulate their physiological functions such as heart rate and blood pressure, growth and stress hormone levels. Recent research has shown that well-regulated children with secure attachment relationships do not release high levels of cortisol under stress, whereas insecure children do. Cortisol is a stress hormone produced in response to fear and uncertainty. High levels of cortisol are dangerous in the early months of life as it can affect the development of other neurotransmitter systems that are still in the process of being established. This emphasises the important role that parents and caregivers play in shaping the development of a child’s brain.
This is because they have developed a feeling of security and they have an assurance that their needs will be met. This level of attachment fuels growth. A secure, loving, responsive relationship with even one attuned adult is best for your baby’s brain and their future well-being. Young children are hungry for attachment because they lack self-sufficiency and are highly dependent on adults for care and to guide them through their early emotions. The baby will go on to form other attachments with their other main carers but there will only ever be a few key relationships, and a hierarchy will develop amongst them. This means that if mum isn’t available they will happily get their needs met by dad and if that second person isn’t available, they’ll let their nana, pop, or other caregiver help them. This is normal and healthy.
When we fulfil their dependency needs, children are pushed forward towards independence.
Being in tune with, and responding to, a baby’s needs helps them learn about their own emotions as well as the feelings of others; the baby smiles, the caregiver smiles; the baby cries, the caregiver sympathises, back and forth. These everyday interactions help the baby to feel safe and secure. One of the greatest strengths of quality home-based childcare are educators, who are able to form a secure attachment with a young child in a calm and natural home environment. And with a maximum of four
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children in care at any one time, educators have the time to provide children with consistency of care and a go-to person. In those first 1,000 days, parents really want to provide – or have someone provide on their behalf – attuned, sensitive and consistent interactions with their baby. When this way of interacting is repeated over and over again, children grow up with the confidence and reassurance that someone will be there when they need them – and that they are loved and lovable. It is not possible for a child to be too attached. It is paradoxical, but when we fulfil their dependency needs, children are pushed forward towards independence.
So, why choose PORSE? PORSE understands how the brain wires and fires in the early years. We use this to help develop programmes and training to support our educators to ensure they are doing the best for children in care.
Why do firstborns have advantages over their younger siblings? “Not because they experienced more flashcards, but because they received more attention in their first 1,000 days. When a baby feels nurtured, their survival networks are calmed and their higher intelligence can develop. Feeling really safe and really nurtured – that’s creating intelligence in the brain. Parents often make the mistake of thinking their child will be intelligent if they’re taught to read early, but that isn’t how the brain develops. The best food for a baby’s brain isn’t anything you can teach them, it’s play. Encourage the child to explore, to generate solutions, to be allowed to get things wrong, to be creative. Creative discovery-type play creates more in-depth cognition. The three most important things for helping a young human brain reach its full potential are ‘relationship, relationship, relationship’.”
Nathan Mikaere-Wallis, Brainwave Trust
The quality of the relationships children have in their early years is one of the key factors that influence them for the rest of our lives. At PORSE, we offer Natural Childcare, based on one-on-one, responsive relationships that provide children with consistency and a go-to person. These relationships are built on providing emotional availability, attentiveness and time to each individual child. The most natural environment to care for and raise a child is in the home – which is why PORSE childcare replicates the comfort and security of home, as well as the routines and values that are built there.
Find out more If you want to stay at home with your children and earn an income or simply want the best childcare option for your family, contact us today: 0800 023 456 porse.co.nz
KEEP YOUR KIDS SAFE As the driver, it’s your responsibility to make sure your children are appropriately restrained and secure. Under 7 years old? The law says all children must be secured in an approved child restraint appropriate for their age and size. Under 148cm tall? Best practice recommends children stay in a restraint or booster seat until 148cm tall. Rear facing? It’s much safer to keep children rear facing until they’re at least 2 years old. Child restraint installed securely? Try to move it with your hand – if it moves then it’s not installed correctly. Had your child restraint checked? Make the time to have it checked by a registered child restraint technician. More information at www.nzta.govt.nz/childrestraints
The magazine of Parents Centre
Keeping your home
warm & healthy
Part two of a two-part feature on ways to make sure your family home is warm and toasty for the winter months. Last issue we looked at the three essentials for creating a healthy home â€“ drying it out, airing it out and insulating. Now we take a look at some of the different options available for heating.
Heat pumps Single-split systems are the most common heat pumps in New Zealand – with an indoor unit connected to an outdoor unit. They are designed to heat just the room that they are installed in, not the whole house. While leaving internal doors open may allow some of the heated air to travel into other rooms, in most houses this doesn’t work very well. Multi-split heat pumps are designed to heat multiple rooms – one outdoor unit serves multiple indoor units in different rooms of the house. Ducted heat pumps provide central heating by blowing heated air through ducts into multiple rooms. While some can only be controlled centrally, others allow you to choose which rooms or groups of rooms you want to be heated at any given time. Heat pumps are the most efficient way of using electricity to heat your home, but remember to check the Energy Rating Label – the more stars, the more energy efficient the unit is.
forests is carbon neutral. They’re relatively cheap to run even if you need to buy firewood. They also work during power cuts – and many free-standing models can be used for cooking as well as heating.
Convective wood burners heat the air which then rises to the ceiling. This means you get less heat in the bottom part of your room, unless you use a ceiling fan to mix up the hotter and cooler layers of air.
You will have to get a building consent from your local council before you install a solid fuel burner. If an illegally installed wood burner causes a fire, it may invalidate your insurance cover. Check out the Ministry for the Environment's list of authorised wood burners.
Wetback models use the heat of the wood burner to heat hot water, by circulating water between the wood burner and the hot water cylinder through pipes.
Decide whether you want more radiant or convective heat – wood burners release their heat through a combination of heat radiation and convection. The amount of each varies from model to model so you will have to do some shopping around to find the best option. Wood burners that produce mostly radiant heat make the room feel warmer than the air actually is so they work best in large rooms with high ceilings and rooms with poor insulation and draughts.
Your wood burner must be installed by a Solid Fuel Appliance Installation Technician certified by the New Zealand Home Heating Association.
Wood pellet burners Wood pellet burners look similar to wood burners, but it’s easier to control how much heat they produce and they are another environmentally friendly option. They provide convenient, easily controllable heating – most units light automatically and have a remote control, thermostat and timer.
Wood burners Modern wood burners are energy efficient, produce limited air pollution and use a form of renewable energy – burning wood from sustainable
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Thermostats and thermometers Thermostats help maintain an even temperature and conserve electricity. The ideal temperature for a nursery is 18°C. Using a room thermometer can help you accurately monitor the temperature in your baby's room and avoid baby becoming too warm. It might be tempting to make baby’s room really warm in the winter, but it is best to dress baby appropriately and have the bedroom no warmer than 20°C for safe and comfortable sleep.
Pellet burners produce similar amounts of heat to wood burners but, as you can control the heat, you are less likely to overheat the room. These units burn only compressed wood pellets which are made from 100% wood residue (sawdust and wood shavings) that has a controlled density and moisture level, so they burn with more consistency than logs and cause less air pollution. Low emission pellet burners are allowed in some areas that don’t allow new wood burners – for more information check with your local council.
Gas heating Gas heating is convenient and easily controlled. While burning gas causes little local air pollution, gas heating causes more greenhouse gas emissions that contribute to climate change than other heater types that use renewable fuels or electricity. Gas heaters create fast, convenient and easily controlled heat, and are available as gas space heaters and decorative gas fireplaces. They can run on either natural gas or LPG. You will have to pay fixed charges for reticulated gas supply – so gas heating makes more economic sense if you already use other gas appliances in your household.
Make sure to choose a flued gas heater – unflued gas heaters emit water vapour and toxic gases directly into your home and can also be a fire risk. Energywise strongly advises against using unflued gas heaters – but if you do have to use one, keep at least one window open to allow fresh air to enter the room and waste gases to escape. Never use them in bedrooms. The efficiency of gas heaters varies widely so look for the Australian Gas Association gas energy rating label to make sure you buy an efficient model – the more stars, the more energy efficient it is. Portable LPG heaters are the most expensive form of heating.
Electric heating Most electric heaters are relatively cheap, but more expensive to run than heat pumps or wood burners. Electric heaters can be suitable for smaller rooms and rooms you only heat occasionally, like bedrooms. Only use one heater per power outlet to avoid overloading. With the exception of heat pumps, all electric heaters are equally efficient. They convert all the electricity they consume into useful
heat – but choosing the right type of heater for the situation is important to get the full benefit of all of the heat you're paying for. But beware, in many places the price of electricity varies according to the time of day. At periods of high demand, electric items will cost more to run. Check with your electricity supplier to find out more.
Panel heaters Flat-panel heaters produce very little heat and can take a long time to heat up a cold room. They have a low surface temperature so usually don't get hot enough for children or pets to burn themselves, although covering them with towels or clothes still poses a fire risk. Panel heaters are good for heating small rooms continuously – like bathrooms or children’s rooms. However, leaving the heater on when you’re not there will result in high power bills.
Convection and oil column heaters Convection and oil column heaters mostly heat air rather than surfaces. The hot air rises and then slowly circulates around the room, providing background warmth. Oil-column heaters also provide some radiant
heat. They usually have a thermostat and are good for quiet background heating. They can take a long time to heat up a cold room. Surface temperatures of convection and oil-column heaters are lower than micathermic and radiant heaters – but still get hot enough to burn skin. Convection heaters can easily be tipped over and the weight and sharp fins of oil column heaters can be dangerous to children.
Micathermic heaters Micathermic heaters provide heat in a similar way to oil-column heaters but heat up more quickly. They can get quite hot which can be a hazard for children, but are lightweight and easy to move around.
Radiant heaters Bar heaters with glowing elements and a reflector are called radiant heaters. They mainly heat objects and people rather than air, and are good for rooms with high ceilings or for large spaces where you only need to heat one small area of the room. Radiant heaters are great for instant heat – but aren’t suitable for bedrooms as they can be a fire risk and are dangerous to children.
Fan heaters Fan heaters (or ceramic heaters) can be noisy, but distribute heated air around your room rather than letting it form a layer of hot air below the ceiling. They provide quick warmth in smaller rooms – high-wall mounted models are good for bathrooms in
the morning, where you only need heating for very short periods.
This article was prepared with the assistance of EECA energywise.
Find out more EECA Energywise www.energywise.govt.nz New Zealand Institute of Building Surveyors www.buildingsurveyors.co.nz Building Officials of New Zealand www.boinz.org.nz
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Kids are smart – so we need to be smarter “He farted in my bowl,” my eight-year-old stepdaughter Niamh protests with a distraught tone in her voice as my ten-yearold son Xavier walks away with a big grin on his face.
to “take the edge off“. All this edge-taking-off business may have accidently turned into somewhat of a drinking problem! So I knocked it on the head.
Yes, this is the home we built, a blended family of two boys and two girls, three of whom are mine and one my partner Zareen’s. We live in a 52 square metre tiny house, a choice we made to reduce our living costs so we could spend more time pursuing our passions and, with less financial stress, hopefully have more patience and time for each other and the kids… well that was the plan!
Without the wine to help keep my frustration and anger levels under control I needed strategies, parenting techniques that would help keep my sanity levels within a healthy range. Rules, I needed better rules… fun rules, well fun for me at least. Rules that weren’t based on fear and yelling but natural consequences for actions. I lay on the couch staring at the ceiling in my creative dream state and started throwing around different ideas I’d heard of over the years … I thought of the following common scenario…
The problem with a tiny house is, of course, that it’s bloody tiny! Everything is amplified, the mess, the noise, the sibling bickering. I found myself reaching for the wine earlier and earlier every day
When the kids have too much energy and are wrestling inside it seems very clear that this is “outside” energy and should be released either on the tramp or wrestling in the mud for ten
minutes, yes even when it’s dark and raining in the middle of winter. I believe that’s what raincoats were invented for. Any complaining and I’ll just start counting 11 minutes… 12… 13… 14 until they all run to the door and get outside before the count gets too high. Yep that’ll work! I‘d consider my parenting skills average at best but what I do know is that if kids know the rules and they are always enforced, then they feel secure. Consistency and follow through, with just those two things parenting gets a whole lot easier. Well that and don’t threaten anything too big, you know that massive threat that you’re quietly hoping they don’t push you on, because backing it up is going to be brutal for everyone! It seems to me that many of us parents are right on the brink of exhaustion and burnout and that
is a very hard place to parent from. Here are seven of my life hacks to help you stay sane as a parent.
about it? Same here, so if I hear a
complaint or if they don’t do it when
“Is that a complaint? Should I add another job to that?”
I ask, that job now becomes their
The cleaner Tired of kids leaving their stuff lying all around the house? Well here’s the strategy that will have your house looking tidy instantly. Simply pick up two of a child’s toys or socks or books etc. and put them away in their room. This simple act has now made that particular child “the cleaner”. They will now be responsible for keeping the common area of the house clear and free of other people’s stuff. Now here’s the fun part that kids love…if they find and put away two items belonging to another sibling, that sibling then becomes the cleaner.
job forever! “Can you please come and unload the dishwasher.” “But I did it last…” “Right, that is now your job forever.”
“No.” Every time I need that job done I will call upon the child whose job it is forever to come and do it. I won’t actually keep it their job forever, just as long as it takes for them to learn the lesson that when they are asked
This rule becomes more of a game than discipline and the kids love catching each other out and making someone else the cleaner. We had to add an extension to the rule for one of our kids who liked being the cleaner as it meant she could just leave her stuff out everywhere, so the box was born. If the cleaner leaves their stuff lying around I pick it up and put it in the box for a week.
Your job forever Tired of asking the kids to do a job over and over and hearing complaints
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to do something just do it happily… it’s not worth the pain of being stuck with a job for a week or two (or five for those stubborn ones). Don’t let them off until the lesson is learned.
The magic of counting This can be implemented alongside any discipline that has a timeline attached to it, whether it be the thinking chair or sending them outside to get rid of their excess energy. If it’s “go sit outside on the step and think about how your actions just hurt your sister”
or something down those lines, I start with one minute for each of their years, four minutes for a four-year-old etc. If they complain or refuse to go, rather than yelling and getting upset, just start counting higher, 8 minutes… 9… 10… just slowly and calmly as high as you need to go, and then once again follow through. If you get all the way to an hour then make sure they stay there for an hour. Next time they’ll know that the counting means something and they’ll jump to it. There have been a couple of rare times I've relented on this one. Mostly when I've started counting and it’s sent them into orbit because something bigger is going on for them. In these times I need to wait till they calm down, we then have a talk about the whole thing and then they go do their four minutes.
Door slamming A door is a privilege. If you slam your door it will be removed. Two days might work for one kid whilst another might need a week.
The “why” child Some kids are awesome “why” kids. They’re usually not being naughty, they just have a deep need to know everything about everything. As adults, their need to know why is going to be a real asset to them but as a kid it can be a real pain in the arse. If I've explained what's happening and why it’s happening but the “whys” keep on coming, the conversation now goes something like this. “You’ve got such a great brain, I want you to go to your room and write down ten possible reasons why I’ve done what I've done. Then bring me the list and I’ll point to the one that best sums it up.” And no, one of the reasons is not “because dad is a butt” which I've had before… Now I just need to say, “Do you need to write down ten reasons why?” to which the answer is usually “No.”
lines. A page of lines for every bad word that comes out of their mouths. “I will use only beautiful uplifting words” or “My dad is so amazing I’m the luckiest kid on earth” or something like that… They hate it, it works. Sorted. If you have younger children, I would either ignore swearing so as to not encourage it or explain that these words are adult words and not for children. If asked to stop and they continue, then thinking time is always a great go to!
It’s time to get our power back Burnout parenting isn’t fun for either us or the kids so it’s time to get our power back. These parenting hacks have been golden for us, but even the best rules in the world won’t work if we are not consistent and don't follow through every time. Kids are smart so we need to be smarter.
The kid who keeps getting up out of bed
all the way to 3:00 straight after school or preschool if you have to.
Some kids can’t help themselves, while one you can put down and they stay there all night, another will just have to keep getting up over and over again and the night usually ends up with the already exhausted parent losing their sh*t and yelling. That isn’t fun for anyone.
Solution. “Get up as many times as you like but every time you get up you’ll be going to bed ten minutes earlier tomorrow night.” Just keep subtracting – 7:20… 7:10… 7:00…
Some kids like to swear and when my kids are older this will be fine. I've worked construction my whole life and have the mouth that goes with it, but, for my kids while they’re still young and all lovely and squishy, I don’t want to hear that language coming out of their faces. So I went old school on this one and no, not the washing-out-with-soap deal, I tried that and it’s just too much drama, so I just started giving them
Rob Cope Rob is the author of Men Wanted for Hazardous Journey. He is also the founder of Project Wild Dad. Creating fun and educational films on how to get our kids off the screens and back outside, along with other parenting hacks. Find him on Facebook at Project Wildman.
Fragrance Free Freedom
The magazine of Parents Centre
When baby has
My birth wish list included many things, however a caesarean section definitely wasn’t one of them. My partner, mother and I attended a two-day Calm Birth class and we were excited about using the techniques learned to birth our baby at home naturally. Our midwife was supportive of our plan and knowing she had experience with home births was encouraging. However as it turned out, our baby had other plans! With the birth pool set up in the dining room, and all the necessary gear to support a home birth, the wait for labour to start felt long. My aim was to avoid interventions, but with the two-week overdue mark approaching, a membrane sweep was offered. After talking to friends who had had it done, I decided to go ahead. My labour started soon after the sweep. The first night was surprisingly intense – until you are in labour, it is impossible to know how it will feel. My mum lives 45 minutes away so she came over and stayed with us for the duration of the birth. My contractions tapered out the next day, which was disappointing as it felt like the work I had done during the night was without results. I really wanted to get labour done and meet our little boy or girl. We went to the local maternity unit to do a CTG scan at 5:00pm. During the monitoring our baby’s heart rate
We had to decide whether to continue with our home birth plan, or to leave that behind and go to hospital.
dipped, raising possible concern but not absolutely. This information and the not-optimal presentation position of the baby put us at a crossroad. We had to decide whether to continue with our home birth plan, or to leave that behind and go to hospital.
A change of plan Welcoming our baby to this world at our home was what I had hoped for, but after considering the possible risks of not acting on this information, we decided it was for the best to let go of our home birth idea. Having strong contractions while lying down in an ambulance made for a very long trip to hospital. The Koru birthing room was available, which I was very pleased about as it had the relaxing elements of the environment I had envisioned – we were left to ourselves in a room that had low lights, a birth pool, swiss ball, mats and cushions. The second night of labour was more intense, especially because of our baby’s posterior position causing the less desirable ‘back labour’. The bath provided some relief, and the benefit of being able to move around with more ease. Hours passed slowly with lots of focused breathing, back rubs and gas. However, even with my strong contractions and dilation progress, our baby still wasn’t on its way down (we would find out later why) so an amniotomy (artificial rupture of membranes) was performed to break my waters.
Another CTG was done and our baby’s heart rate was dipping sporadically. There was still uncertainty in the medical team as to why this was happening and any possible implications. Continuing with a natural birth or a caesarean was discussed. I remember my midwife saying that often it is only once the baby is born that we understand why there were complications with the birth. That was certainly the case with our baby. We decided an epidural was the next step in case I needed to have a caesarean, and to give me a rest as I was very tired from the long hours of hard labour. In my post-birth state I described the effects of the epidural as being like magic. Labour continued while I rested, but so did the sporadic dips in our baby’s heart rate on the CTG monitor. The fear and helplessness I felt listening to the beeps slow then rise… then slow again was the most frightening thing I have ever felt.
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Becoming her mum has opened my heart to feel more love than I could ever have imagined.
It was at this stage that I asked to speak to my partner alone. Using the BRAIN technique our antenatal teacher taught us (Benefits, Risks, Alternatives, Intuition, or Nothing), we determined that the potential risk of continuing with a natural birth was too high for the benefits, and my gut instinct was that a caesarean was the safest path from here. As it turned out, meconium was discovered at my next examination and an emergency caesarean was instigated.
In safe hands My memories of the preparation for and of the surgery are of feeling secure and in good hands. The team was very proficient but also incredibly caring. I will always remember this and be grateful for their kindness. Our baby girl was born at 8.30am and we named her Ivy Rose. So even though we planned a natural birth at home with no intervention and ended up with multiple interventions including the biggest one possible, each step of the way, each decision was made by my partner and me after asking questions and making informed choices. With her umbilical cord wrapped around her neck twice and presentation position, our baby girl just couldn’t get herself out despite her – and my – best efforts.
That I didn’t get the home birth that I had hoped for, and I won’t be able to in any future births, is something that I have had sadness over, but I know that we were in the best possible place, in the best possible hands to safely deliver our little girl, which is the most important thing. Since that day I have reflected on how grateful I am for the support and love of my partner and mother, for the guidance and support of my midwife, and for the concepts and techniques learned at the Calm Birth course which set me up for a relaxed pregnancy and empowered approach to birth. When we were little, our mum used to sing “You are my sunshine” to us. It wasn’t until I started singing it to my little girl that I truly understood the words “you’ll never know dear, how much I love you”, because becoming her mum has opened my heart to feel more love than I could ever have imagined.
WHY ARE KIWI FAMILIES CHOOSING AU PAIRS AS THEIR SOURCE OF CHILDCARE?
As a caregiver or parent of young children, the topic of childcare has most certainly crossed your mind. There are many options to choose from such as day care, kindergarten, home-based care and au pairs. In 2017 alone, Au Pair Link had hundreds of au pairs join Kiwi families in just the Auckland region. So why are families choosing an au pair as a childcare option? An au pair is a young person from abroad employed by a ‘host family’ to care for their children. Au pairs provide a live-in form of childcare and provide a unique cultural and learning experience. An au pair joins your family to bond with the children and provide one-on-one care, love and stability in the place which matters most - your child’s home. Au Pair Link Operations Manager, Morgan Holyoake says, “When you compare having an au pair to the cost of sending your child to a day care centre, au pairs are truly an affordable option, as well as being very flexible. Typical weekly costs start from $260 per week and can go up to $470 per week, depending on hours of childcare or type of programme. This weekly cost does not increase with more children, which makes having an au pair unique to all other forms of childcare.” With the ability to choose and negotiate your hours with your au pair, it’s a great option for busy working families, that don’t always work a 9-5 job. Au Pair Link is New Zealand’s largest au pair agency, flying au pairs from all over the world into New Zealand homes. Through their service, families are able to connect with pre-screened au pairs; read their profiles and arrange video meetings to make sure they’re the perfect match. Families also have access to 20 hours ECE and WINZ subsidies, local playgroups, events and on-call teacher support.
For more information about getting an au pair, contact the friendly team on 0800 AU PAIR (287 247) or visit www.aupairlink.co.nz.
The magazine of Parents Centre
Dads are ordinary men turned by love into heroes, adventurers, storytellers and life-long friends. Happy Fatherâ€™s Day to all the awesome Kiwi dads. From the Kiwiparent team
HEALTHY KIDS, HAPPY PARENTS Any parent with young children knows a healthy immune system is important at all times, but particularly at daycare, school and at the local playground. Luckily, we know a healthy digestive system plays a fundamental role in supporting good immunity and general well-being.
Introducing Nutra-Life® Probiotic Supplements specifically designed for children to support a Healthy Immune and Digestive System.
PROBIOTICA BABY, TODDLER & CHILD
14 X 1.5g SACHETS
One-a-day probiotic in an age appropriate formula suitable for babies (over 6 months), toddlers and children. Assists with the absorption of nutrients, supports the health and function of the immune system and general health and wellbeing. Shelf stable, no refrigeration required. Convenient sachet format.
PROBIOTICA™ KID’S DAILY 30 & 60 CHEWABLE TABLETS
Nutra-Life® provides premium health products that are manufactured to strict quality standards using formulations based on 50 years of experience. It also offers free access to qualified naturopaths through the Naturopathic Advice Line: 0800 268 872. Always read the label. Use only as directed. If symptoms persist consult your healthcare professional. Vitaco Health (NZ) Ltd., Auckland. DA1831ZL109 The magazine of Parents Centre
Helps support healthy gut microflora and a strong immune system in children. This formula contains a proprietary blend of scientifically researched strains of non-dairy, good bacteria in a Vanilla flavoured chewable tablet, in an age appropriate dose. Shelf stable, no refrigeration required.
It only takes
a moment These grim stories illustrate how a small moment of distraction can lead to the most tragic of outcomes for any family. An Australian toddler drowned in a Wellington Hotel after her grandfather briefly left her unattended in her bath. The inquest into the tragic death of 23-monthold Leila Riquelme found she accidentally drowned when she was left alone in a filled bath at the Rydges Hotel in March 2014. Leila, her older sister, mother and grandparents were staying at an inner-city hotel while they were visiting New Zealand to attend a wedding. When the family woke up that fateful morning, Leila was not feeling well.
Her grandfather, who often cared for his granddaughters, offered to run a warm bath for the girls. He watched them in the bathroom before going to an adjoining bedroom for a few minutes. During that time the older sister pulled the plug and drained the bath. The granddad refilled the bath and left Leila sitting in the water while he popped into the next room to dress her sister. He told police he was out of the bathroom for no more than a minute and did not hear any noise to alert him that anything was wrong. When he went back into the bathroom, little Leila was lying on her side in the bath with her nose and mouth under the water. The grandfather quickly picked her up and splashed cold water on her in a desperate bid to revive her. He put her on a bed and checked for a pulse before raising the alarm with the hotel's reception. CPR was performed on the little girl for a desperate 20 minutes
but it was too late – she could not be resuscitated.
It takes less than a minute for a child to drown.
A post-mortem examination found Leila's sad death was due to drowning and the coroner said the sad case illustrated how important it was to be vigilant when it came to children and water.
If you're in a group, have an active adult supervision roster
A nightmare Christmas A few years ago family members made a desperate attempt to revive a Hawke's Bay toddler after he was found face-down in a paddling pool on Christmas Day. 20-month-old Marcus Nichol was found in a plastic paddling pool at his grandparents' Wairoa home. The toddler had been out of the sight of his grandparents and mum for only a few minutes when he was found and snatched from the water. He apparently tripped and fell into the pool and could not drag himself out again. Despite attempts by family members, police and the ambulance staff to resuscitate him, Marcus died in Hastings Hospital. These awful tragedies illustrate how a moment's inattention can lead to appalling outcomes when it comes to small kids.
Keep babies and toddlers water safe Constant active adult supervision – always Always keep babies and toddlers within arm's reach around water.
Don't rely on older children to supervise younger ones in, on or around water; they are easily distracted and should not be given that responsibility. It is your responsibility as a parent or a caregiver to ensure your child is safe.
Identify water hazards in and around the home Ensure your pool is properly fenced and complies with current safety requirements and has properly working safety latches. Empty water from unused paddling pools, buckets and containers after use and ensure you have a safely fenced play area.
Use a Water Safety bathmat at bath times Bathmats from Water Safety New Zealand are given to new parents to keep toddlers and babies safe at bath time. The bathmats stop your child from slipping and reinforce the message that you should NEVER leave your baby or toddler unsupervised in the bath, even to answer the phone.
Avoid distraction Put your phone away when supervising children around water. Their safety requires your full
Your child can drown in the time it takes you to answer your phone
attention. A child can drown in the time it takes to read a text message.
Teach your children water safety behaviour Teach children things like: ‘Never go near the water unless you’re with a grown up’. It is important they know that, while water is to be enjoyed, it must also be respected.
Give them enjoyable and positive early experiences around water Begin your child's aquatic education early – it is as simple as taking them to a pool for a fun splash around. It is crucial that every Kiwi can learn to enjoy the water from an early age so they can learn essential skills to keep them safe.
Find out more www.watersafety.org.nz
The magazine of Parents Centre
Our Partners Partnering to support families Parents Centre New Zealand has been supporting and advocating for families for over 65 years. Started by a group of women wanting to establish better maternal health services for pregnant women, weâ€™ve grown to a national organisation that supports over 20,000 families annually.
Philips Avent is a long-standing partner and has been supporting our families and Centres with breastfeeding information and support for almost 10 years. We believe that this is a truly collaborative partnership and really value their ongoing support.
We rely on our partnerships to help us deliver those services to communities all around New Zealand. Our partners provide discounts and member benefits for our Centres and families. We value all our partners big and small and aim to work collaboratively with all of them.
Taslim Parsons Strategic Partnerships Manager, Parents Centre New Zealand
A word from Philips Avent Becoming a parent is one of lifeâ€™s greatest journeys. With over 30 years of expertise in baby feeding, Philips Avent products are developed in collaboration with parents and healthcare professionals, extensive research and clinical trials. Providing a wide range of innovative product solutions (from breastcare accessories, to breast pumps, sterilisers and toddler feeding products) that are designed to give little ones a healthy start for a healthy future. Michelle Rice Brand Manager, Endeavour Consumer Health
SUPPORTING HEALTHY BABY DEVELOPMENT
Johnson & Johnson
PC member benefits: All attendees of Parents Centre CBE and Baby and You get a J&J baby bath gift pack and information on science of the skin.
PC member benefits: Supply breastpads to our members and give a $30 discount on the purchase of breast pumps.
PC member benefits: All attendees of CBE get a Huggies gift pack, attendees of Baby and you, and toilet training programmes get gift packs.
Phone: 0800 104 401 www.philips.co.nz/AVENT
Phone: 0800 733 703 www.huggies.co.nz
Huggies online pregnancy and parenting
Supporting Kiwi parents
0800 222 966 / www.babyonthemove.co.nz
Life Pharmacy & Unichem
Reckitt Benckiser Group
Baby On The Move
PC member benefits: Local discounts and offers for our centres.
PC member benefits: $20 off on the purchase of Nurofen Feversmart Thermometer.
PC member benefits: 20% off car seat hire for all members.
Phone: 09 839 0200 www.rb.com/offices/new-zealand
Phone: 0800 222 966 www.babyonthemove.co.nz
Au Pair Link New Zealand PC member benefits: 25% off placement fee for Parents Centre Members. www.aupairlink.co.nz
PORSE PC member benefits: Heavily discounted hourly rate for childcare. Phone: 0800 023 456 www.porse.co.nz
The Sleep Store PC member benefits: 20% off selected items which are regularly updated www.thesleepstore.co.nz/ content/parentscentre
SplashSave PC member benefits: 30% discount on water safety package. www.splashsave.co.nz
PC member benefits: 30% off purchase.
If you want to partner with Parents Centre, or would like to discuss how this may work for your business, contact Taslim on:
2 Little Monkeys
The magazine of Parents Centre
A crying shame
All babies cry – some more than others. It's their way of telling you what they need. Try these tips to settle your baby.
Could they be hungry or thirsty? When your baby cries, you may think is that they’re hungry or thirsty. Young babies also feed for comfort, often want to feed more in the evening or if they’re going through a growth spurt. Signs your baby is hungry include:
99Turning their head to the side with open mouth 99Licking lips 99Sticking tongue in/out 99Clenching hands over chest and fingers/hands to mouth
99Fussing, squirming and makes squeaky noises. So if it’s been a couple of hours since their last feed, or it’s hot, offer milk or some cooled boiled water.
Do they need to burp? Trapped wind can be really painful for baby and cause them to become upset. If they’ve just had a feed, try burping them gently.
Check the nappy Some babies are sensitive to a dirty nappy, while others aren’t bothered. It always pays to check as staying in a soiled nappy for too long can cause painful nappy rash.
Is anything unfamiliar? What’s going on around them? Is there anything different? Someone they’re not used to is visiting? For a new baby, different voices, music or TV playing can stimulate a young baby making it hard for them
Tried everything and the crying won't stop?
If you’re out of options, you’ve taken a break and they’re still crying, you’ll need to get help – ring a mate or relative for some help or call Plunketline 0900 933 922.
to settle. You might need to take them away for some quiet time.
Take it outside A walk in the fresh air in a front pack or buggy can calm you both down. The rhythm of the journey might even get them off to sleep.
Take a break When your baby cries it can be stressful and if babies pick up on your growing tension it can upset them more. If you’re getting wound up, put baby somewhere safe (like the cot). Go into another room or outside and breathe deeply for at least one minute to help get yourself under control. Then do two minutes of physical activity, running on the spot, star jumps, press ups – anything that gets your heart pumping and oxygen flowing through your blood. Go back in when you are calm.
Could they be sick? If you’ve tried everything and your baby is still crying, they might be sick – ring Plunketline 0800 933 922 or your doctor for some advice.
Congratulations to the lucky winners from issue 284
One of three cot quilts from Baby on the Move Lennae Stubbs, Palmerston North Laura Howard, Feilding Jessica Thomson, Winton
One of three toddler pillows Courtney Chalmers, Paraparaumu Laura Davis, Auckland Natalie McCulley, Mosgiel
One of six Splash Mirrors from Water Babies Rochelle Hodgson, Christchurch Diana Littlewood, Auckland Leila Thomas, Auckland Elise Verschoor, Kaitaia Karen Hunt, Rotorua Cara Mitchell, Mosgiel
One of two Fussy Foods prize packs Emma Crump, Christchurch Jen Frecklington, Auckland
100% merino fleece Onesie from The Sleep Store Vidushi Mann, Lower Hutt
The magazine of Parents Centre
Win great giveaways Be in the draw to win a Temptation Black nursing bra Hotmilk’s Temptation nursing bra set is the ultimate day-to-night bra. Sexy enough for special occasions, comfortable enough to wear all day long with support up to a G cup. For those that need an extra layer, Hotmilk's Washable Bamboo Nursing Pads are a must-have. Naturally hypoallergenic and more absorbent than cotton, making them ultra gentle against your skin. RRP $139.85 www.hotmilklingerie.com
Enter online at kiwiparent.co.nz and follow the instructions. Entries must be received by 31 August, 2018. Winners will be published in issue 286.
Win an outfit from Cadenshae valued at $265 Our gorgeous classic leggings, perfect for pregnancy post partum, teamed up with your colour choice of soft bamboo tanks, allowing easy breastfeeding access. To top it off, choose your favourite style of nursing sports bra for any activity and a cosy casual hoodie to keep you warm this winter. Leggings RRP $79.99 Smoothie crop RRP $59.99 Casual Tank RRP $49.99 Casual Hoodie RRP $75.99 www.cadenshae.co.nz
A Crane digital humidifier from The Sleep Store to be won This stylish humidifier from Crane is the perfect accessory to any room in your home. The Ultrasonic Warm or Cool Mist increases air moisture for easier breathing and a good night’s sleep. Helps relieve cough, cold, and flu symptoms, nasal congestion, dry cough, sinus irritation, nose bleeds, and dry skin and hair. 20% off selected items which are updated every month. RRP $199.95.
Win a nursery set from Baby on the Move Quality and fun rolled into one. Our Lolli Living four-piece nursery sets are the perfect starter set for your nursery. Mix and match with our other accessories to create a nursery your little one will love! The winner chooses the set they would like. RRP $149.95 Traveller Nursery Set includes: Traveller cot quilt, Constellation cotton sateen fitted sheet and pillowcase, Shining Stars cotton jersey fitted sheet. Or Ice Cream Nursery Set includes: Ice Cream cot quilt, Ice Cream cotton sateen fitted sheet and pillowcase, Sprinkles cotton jersey fitted sheet. www.babyonthemove.co.nz
Win a Philips Avent electric breast pump Be in to win a Philips Avent Comfort Double Electric Breast Pump, ideal for mums who pump milk regularly. Save time by comfortably pumping from both breasts at once, proven more efficient and may even boost your ability to produce breast milk. The Philips Avent breast pump has a unique design which enables you to sit more comfortably and relaxed when pumping while the soft massage cushion stimulates the milk flow.
Six Splash Mirrors from Water Babies to be won Winner of ‘What's on 4 little ones – Best Product Supporting Children’s Activities at Home 2017’. Perfect for bath time and water play, the Splash Mirror is an ideal way to create fun and enjoyment while helping little ones build confidence. Made from highdensity foam, the mirror and separate float are both soft enough to be safely used in the pool or bath. Parental guidance required. Three months+ RRP $25. www.waterbabies.co.nz
Sensitive Relief from irritation, itching and sensitivity associated with • Chickenpox • Shingles
• Sunburn • Prickly heat
• Hives • Insect bites
• Provides instant itch relief • Cools and soothes the skin • Protects from bacterial infection • Moisturises the skin • Easily spreadable CoolMoose • Pleasant smell of camomile and lavender • Suitable for infants and children
Always read the label. Use only as directed. Consult healthcare professionals if symtoms persist
TAPS Approval NA 10023
Available from all leading pharmacies nationwide
For further information contact USL Consumer Ph: 0800 658 814 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org www.uslconsumer.co.nz The magazine of Parents Centre
All new Educators who register before the end of 2018 will receive their own
Kick Starter Kit valued at
JOIN PORSE TODAY! PORSE is looking for great caregivers like you to become Educators. Enjoy working from home, while still being able to be around for your own children. We provide ongoing training and support to ensure you have the best time growing little minds at home. Contact us today to find out more 82
porse.co.nz 0800 023 456 kiwiparent
By Parents Centres New Zealand Inc