ParentCoach - Winter 2021-2022

WINTER 2021-2022

PARENTCOACH

how to

RAISE GOOD KIDS

FIND A Parent Coach

WELCOME

Welcome, my friend!

I am so happy to see you here...thank you for spending a few minutes with us! Can you believe this is our Winter edition already? Where does the time go?

How are you managing these days? You know, parenting is probably the hardest thing I have ever done. Some days I get it right, and well, some days I don't.

I put together this community of Parent Coaches to help me with the days I don't get it right. Their ideas and guidance give me space to find tools and strategies to connect with my kids and find calm in my home, but it isn't just that...they also remind me that my bad days don't define me, and I am definitely not alone.

I hope you find their words and ideas helpful. I know I do. But let me back up a bit. Do you even know what a Parent Coach does? If not, you are in the right place to explore what a Parent Coach can do for you and your family. To me, they are everything!

Keep reading because I will: tell you what a Parent Coach can do for your family introduce you to Parent Coaches from around the world share advice from these trusted Parent Coaches give you the next steps if you need help right now We aren’t here to preach and tell you what to do - we are here to love and encourage you on your journey - your unique journey.

See you inside, you awesome parent, you!

Jennifer XOXO

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Jennifer McCallum, Mom, and Founder of the Parent Coach Club

519-645-7342 | info@parentguide.ca www.parentcoach.club

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THANK YOU!

I don't even know where to start when I think about how grateful I am to be here, with you, doing what I love, day in and day out!

This issue is all about the people that help us help our kids to grow into the independent, incredible adults they are destined to be.

I am lucky enough to work with the best Parent Coaches from across the world as they make it their life mission to transform families from chaos to connection.

Please join me as I celebrate each and every one of them in this special issue!

And, if you are raising or working with kids and struggle with anything, please reach out to these Parent Coaches...they are here for you!

Jennifer McCallum Founder of the Parent Coach Club

Are you a Parent Coach? Consider becoming a Parent Coach Club Member!

We meet for monthly Mastermind Calls, Case Study Calls, and Business Training sessions where you gain the skills to grow your business along with others doing this valuable work www.parentcoach.club/join

Let's Connect

519-645-7342 | info@parentguide.ca

www.parentcoach.club

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WHO & WHAT'S INSIDE 04

PATH TO PEACE

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WHAT IS A PARENT COACH?

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Our Story

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MOM GUILT

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Ashley Ladouceur

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Deborah Porter

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Dr. Juliet Marciano

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Sylvia Corzato

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AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIORS

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Cai Graham

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FAMILY HISTORY

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Leslie Josel

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Sonja Montiel

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Tia Fagan

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Linda Bolinger

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Deanne Barrett

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Doreen Steenland

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RAISE GOOD KIDS

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Kate Garzón

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MENTAL HEALTH

66

Aparna Venkataraman

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THEY CALL ME A NAG

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Kim Muench

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Wanda Robichaud

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Janet Taylor

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519-645-7342 | info@parentguide.ca www.parentcoach.club

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YOUR PARENTING PATH TO PEACE

S T E P

1 2 3

IDENTIFY

S T E P

S T E P

WHAT YOU NEED

FIND

A PARENT COACH

TRANSFORM

Take time to identify what is holding you back from peace in your home.

Find a Parent Coach.

Our Parent Coaches specialize in all areas from tantrums to paying for college and everything in between.

Transform your life and relationships.

Implementing just one small idea can have a huge impact in your life.

YOUR LIFE

WHAT IS A PARENT COACH?

Parent coaches are experts trained to handle many different parenting issues... ...with positive, practical solutions. Unlike therapists who treat diagnosed mental health conditions, parent coaches are consultants who provide tools, activities, guidance and support to parents and families.

A parent coach can help you individually or in a group setting by giving you the means to help you and your child: Successfully achieve your parenting goals by asking the right questions Implement a step-by-step action plan to handle challenges Find new possibilities by sharing new perspectives and strategies to shift behaviour and family dynamics

FIND

A PARENT COACH Parent coaches offer proactive yet practical solutions

SEARCH

Parent coaches offer proactive yet practical solutions to a long list of parenting issues, including: Behavioural concerns Family changes or crisis Self-care Child development Mental health Positive parenting practices As you can see in the articles in this magazine, they specialize in these topics and many more. Find a Parent Coach to give you and your family the help you need. We are one click away!

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OUR STORY

By Jennifer McCallum, Founder of the Parent Coach Club

THE ROAD HAS BEEN WINDING AND SOME DAYS WE COULDN'T EVEN FIND THE PATH...UNTIL I DISCOVERED PARENT COACHES.

I guess you could say I was a typical first-time mom. I wanted to do it all perfectly and never mess up. I wanted to show the world that I could do it all and do it well.

And then my first child was born.

That was almost 23 years ago.

Bringing home our baby was terrifying. I was lost. I was tired. I was frustrated. I needed help but I didn't know where to go to get it. I had trouble with everything - breastfeeding, dealing with the lack of sleep, maintaining my relationships and having enough confidence to know what I was doing was right...the whole gambit!

At the time, I was sent home from the hospital with bags and bags of pamphlets and fliers. I was expected to sift through and find the resources I needed. Well, this tired mom couldn't find them at all..there were so many pamphlets to go through and each time I would call a listed organization, they would send me to another one. It was like a wild goose chase just to get a straight answer.

There was no Google to go to when I needed help with one specific thing like breastfeeding, first foods for baby, diapering, and daycare.

We ended up back in the hospital with our new baby a few days after the birth.

It was a traumatic experience for all of us and thanks to the fabulous nurses, we were able to make it through and leave a few days later with a healthy baby.

Fast forward a few months later when I found it difficult to find information about things like: cloth diapering, organic food, community playgroups, and daycare options. I felt like it was a full-time job to research all the choices I had to make as a parent, and in the process was saddened by the time I was missing out on just enjoying my new baby.

There had to be a better way...and I knew I wasn't alone. If I was going through this, there must be other parents out there who had the same trouble finding information.

How could I help other parents? Maybe a pamphlet would help...one that listed all the community resources – something like the phone book (remember them?) but just for parents???

I called the maternal newborn care units at the local hospitals and asked them if they would hand out a pamphlet of resources if I put it together. Without question, they agreed. That pamphlet ended up being a 100-page book!

That first year, with a toddler and 5 month-old baby, we delivered our first edition of the books to the hospitals as promised.

For 18 years, I printed parenting resource books that went to every new parent after their baby was born. 16 of those years I also printed a School-Age edition for parents of kids starting school. I expanded to new cities and before I knew it, we had printed 59 editions!

What a ride.

I spent the next two years researching in a fog of worry, stress, confusion, and the ever-present overwhelm.

I tried to go back to work and wondered if I would ever find any work as rewarding as raising my baby. It seemed like life had gone on for everyone else and I was still trying to figure out this new mom gig...and failing.

And then, one day, it became clear what I needed to do. I needed to help other new parents so they didn't have to go through what I did.

"THERE HAD TO BE A BETTER WAY...I KNEW I WASN'T ALONE." WWW.PARENTCOACH.CLUB ⎟07

IT SEEMED LIKE LIFE HAD GONE ON FOR EVERYONE ELSE AND I WAS STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT THIS NEW MOM GIG...AND FAILING. JENNIFER MCCALLUM

And, then my kids grew up and became teens. It was yet another stage I wasn't prepared for.

When my first baby was born, I created resource books...when the first two kids entered school, I created a school-age book...but teens...this was a whole new area to navigate...and I wasn't ready!

I felt like I was always the last one to the party...the party of understanding teens.

I struggled with the everyday things that teens go through, not willing to give up control, and adding a lot of stress, shame, and guilt, onto both my teens and myself.

In the midst of this, we also adopted twins.

I knew I needed to be better than I was. I knew that if I just had the key to the answers, I would be the best mom ever. I had four kids counting on me now.

That is when I discovered Parent Coaches. They changed my life.

I began working with them and my relationship with my kids became better. I also felt better about myself and that forward positive motion really does create more peace at home. They gave me tools and strategies to use to build our relationship. In fact, one small idea created the biggest impact....and I got this in a 30-minute chat with a Parent Coach!

Read our full story & lessons learned

At the same time, I was also pivoting my business and wondering what I could do next to continue to help parents, without printing thousands of books each year.

Google was a much better, environmentally friendly way to find resources now.

The answer was right in front of me. Parent Coaches! I could help Parent Coaches grow their business so they could help more parents, like me.

But, there was a problem - not many parents had even heard of what a Parent Coach could do for their family.

I set out with one main mission: Create awareness of Parent Coaches so that families could find the joy and peace that we were experiencing.

Now, this is a very short overview of how we got here. It was not easy and some days I even wondered if I was cut out to be a mom. There is a link below if you want to read more, but I want to leave you with one thing to consider....

What do you want your relationship to be like when your kids are adults?

I wanted mine to be better, and thanks to Parent Coaches, this is exactly what I got. My kids are now 22, 20, 15, and 15. I may be a bit biased, but I think they are the best kids in the world and I am grateful that I worked with Parent Coaches so I could be the mom they needed me to be. It's a work in process, but I am getting there!

XOXO Jennifer

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SEARCH FOR SUPPORT IN ALL THESE AREAS AND MORE...

FIND A PARENT COACH THAT SPECIALIZES IN...

FREE 30-min call

MOM GUILT

How to manage this internal battle and reduce mom guilt!

By: Joan Canning, Sleepytime Support, Sleep Education and Consulting

Ugh. In a nutshell, that’s how I feel about it. It’s simply the worst. It’s self-defeating and soul destroying. I have been around it. I’ve supported moms that were deep in the midst of it. I find it difficult to find some positive in it. I knew it. I read about it, heard about it, and learned about it. However, nothing prepares you for it until you’ve actually experienced it yourself.

What is it?

It’s Mom Guilt.

Ugh. To those that have never experienced it, please tell me your secret. It’s a battle, an internal battle. Logic gets flushed down the

toilet so there is more room in your brain for the battle to commence. You know the facts; you know the details. You can argue both sides of the case, but guilt comes along and destroys everything. No matter how many times you research a topic or are reassured by a loved one or medical provider, you will still have that internal battle.

I wish that I could offer solid advice to make that guilt go away, but I can’t. All I can do is listen, empathize, and validate until you are able to come to terms with it yourself and find a way to silence those doubtful and debilitating thoughts.

Repeat this to yourself: No one is perfect.

No parent is perfect. No child is perfect. We are all doing the best we can.

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It’s true that when we know better, we do better, but you simply cannot be everything to everyone all the time.

There will be times that you have to give more to one child than another. There will be times that you’ll think that you’re neglecting your other child/ren. You may think that your spouse is being neglected too. Hopefully, after a heartfelt conversation with good communication and listening on both ends, they’ll get it.

Again: you cannot be everything to everyone all at the same time.

also writing it down as a reminder to myself. Make that appointment with yourself, whether it’s an extra five minutes in the shower, reading a magazine, or taking a few days away for yourself. My personal mantra is: Do what you can, when you can, to do what it takes to feel less guilty and take care of you.

Do what you can, to step aside and think clearly. Do what you can to come to terms and accept that if you’re feeling guilty, it shows your dedication, it shows your high standards, and it shows that you want to do it right.

Go easy on yourself Mama.

Taking care of yourself is not a luxury, it is a necessity. As much as I’m saying this all to you, I’m

Taking care of yourself is not a luxury, it is a necessity.

"YOU CANNOT BE EVERYTHING TO EVERYONE ALL AT THE SAME TIME." Joan Canning

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r u e c u o d a L y e l G.R.E.A.T. PARENTING Ash PARENT COACH

What do you do?

I coach parents of children age 1 to 10 helping them move from questioning their parenting to being the confident parent they are meant to be. I do this through 1:1 Coaching Sessions and a G.R.E.A.T. Parenting Membership.

What issues do you deal with?

Parental overwhelm - Setting and implementing routines - Setting and holding boundaries - Finding confidence in your parenting choices

How can you help?

I offer a 6 week 1:1 coaching program as well as a G.R.E.A.T. Parenting Membership tailored specific to the members needs and concerns.

How can you help?

I offer a free 20-minute discovery call to chat more about your goals as a parent and as a family. We will then move ahead and book our first of six one hour a week sessions. In the membership you will find many resources, webinars and access to our monthly meet-ups!

What my client's say about me...

I highly recommend Ashley to any parent that is struggling or just needs support! She helped me realize how important some "me" time is and that I'm not the only one that has tough days with their little ones. My mornings are way less stressful thanks to the simple solutions Ashley helped me come up with. Thank you Ashley! ~ K. M. ~ I reached out to Ashley after having our third baby, and I’m so glad that I did! She really listened to me, when I was all over the place with areas that I was struggling, and she was able to give me tools to use to get our household back on track. She makes it so easy to open up to her, and it is obvious that she really cares and wants to help. I am so excited to have this resource, knowing that Ashley is not only well educated in working with children, but also has so much experience of working with them, and being a parent herself is on the same journey. ~ A. V. ~

How to Hold Parenting Boundaries, Ashley Ladouceur, Parent Coach, G.R.E.A.T. Parenting

How can I find you?

Book a Call! Click here!

r e t r o P h Debora MOM COACH

What do you do?

I support moms who feel overwhelmed and lost in motherhood and at times wonder who they are. The girl you were before having kids, her dreams and goals still matter. We get to work creating the strategies and systems that will support you in creating the atmosphere you want and a life that you love.

What issues do you deal with?

Overwhelm, Faith, Confidence, Finding Peace, Raising Daughters/Sons

How can you help?

I provide strategies and systems to help you gain the clarity you seeking on what needs to be done, building confidence in yourself and your instincts as a mom and woman and finding the courage to determine what it is you need and how to get it.

What can I expect?

I offer a FREE 30 min. strategy call after filling out the application to work with me. If we decide to work together, we will begin scheduling calls and I will provide you access to the curriculum.

Apply here: bit.ly/letschatmom

About me...

I am the wife of my college sweetheart Clif, for 30 years and mother of 3 adult children 29, 25, 23 and a bonus son. Currently, a regular guest contributor on Virginia This Morning on CBS WTVR and you can read my guest blogs on CollegiateParent here https://www.collegiateparent.com/author/debor ah-porter/ . We are enjoying the empty nest phase and love when we get to spend time with our adult children.

All about Deborah!

How can I find you?

o n a i c r a M t e i l u J Dr. MINDSET COACH FOR PARENTS

What do you do?

As a Mindset Coach for Parents and a PCI Certified Parent Coach®️, I help parents gather the information and develop the skills they need to reclaim the joy of parenting, no matter what challenges they face or struggles they encounter, and then lead their family to thrive!

What issues do you deal with?

I support parents of children with special needs and extra needs. This includes any child with a physical, mental, emotional, behavioral, or learning difference or a family going through a challenging situation such as a divorce.

How can you help?

My coaching is a strength-based, positive focused process. Using my 6 step “Path to Possibility” I incorporate general parenting topics as well as exploring the concepts of mindfulness, neuroscience, resilience, conscious parenting, problemsolving, motivation, self-care, managing a healthy relationship with digital media and screen technology, and more! The first step involves a shift in mindset and perspective, and we go from there!

What can I expect?

We start with a 20 minute complimentary consultation call to discuss your family’s challenges and how your family will benefit from coaching. I offer coaching through phone or video calls in a variety of situations from a 2-hour focused call to a 12-week individual coaching program. As your coach, I am a compassionate, non-judgmental partner who works with you to bring about your family’s transformation! After working with me, parents enjoy their parenting experience more. Not only are they calmer, but they are better able to accept and embrace their children for who they are, build and maintain connection with their children, and feel confident as they face any challenges that arise.

What my client's say about me...

“I wish I had met her 10 years ago! She ‘gets it’ and she understands my struggles and doesn’t judge me for my mistakes.” C. U. -parent of 2 "After working with Juliet, for the first time in a long time, I’m not afraid of our future and I’m enjoying my children!” J. H.- parent of 2 “Working with Juliet gave me hope that my children will be ok, even with all the challenges we are facing as a family.” S. M. Parent of 2 “Before we finished the first call, I was feeling better already!” M.H. “Juliet has always been so helpful, caring, and knowledgeable when guiding me through some challenging parenting times. She has helped me to understand, that my job is to help my kids figure out who they are, at their core, and to support them in being the best version of themselves. With Jul’s coaching, I have become a more confident parent.” - H.P. - Mother of 2

All about Dr. Juliet!

How can I find you?

Book a Call! Click here!

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GOT KIDS? worried? struggling? looking for answers?

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

o t a z r o C a Syvli SUCCESS IN STEPS

What do you do?

Parent Consultant | Behaviour Coach | Speaker | Founder of Success in Steps

What issues do you deal with?

ADD/ADHD, Anxiety Disorder, Autism, Learning Disabilities, Parent-Child Interaction, NonCompliance/ Defiance, Parenting, School Problems, Stress Management

How can you help?

Success in Steps helps overwhelmed and frustrated parents spend less time on challenges and behaviours and more time enjoying their family. Success in Steps, parent consulting and behaviour coaching helps families achieve their family goals through a multi-disciplinary approach. Supporting you, the parents understand not only the reason/ 'why' behind the behaviour but what's maintaining it as well.

Services are focused on both the parents' and children's strengths and needs as a whole so that the positive impacts can benefit the entire family.

What can I expect?

Success in Steps offer parent consulting that acts as your personalized self-help book, customized to your family's unique situation, needs and goals.

You can access services through our 1:1 individual consultation or in participating in one of our two parenting programs. Click to find out more!

What Parents Have to Say: My family had an extremely positive experience with Sylvia. She showed us the highest level of professionalism, understanding, and patience. Sylvia always took the time to answer all of our questions and any concerns we had. I especially appreciated the video conferencing, and her willingness to work with my family's schedule. Thank you Sylvia, for your guidance and incredible support!

Sylvia is a compassionate, dedicated and extremely knowledgeable professional who helped us implement specific strategies in our family. We feel much more confident now as parents and the stress level in our family has gone down so much! We are grateful for everything she has done for us!

Sylvia was extremely knowledgable and helpful in finding a solution when it came to my daughter's behaviour. She provided us with easy tools to guide her, which in the end made us feel more confident in our parenting style. I highly recommend her to anyone seeking a patient and resourceful parent consultant.

Teaching your Child Empathy How can I find you?

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By: Ashley Ladouceur, G.R.E.A.T. Parenting

When a child becomes aggressive (hitting, kicking, screaming) it creates many feelings for parents. Feelings of guilt, loneliness, and most of all fear. As if their child is the only one who hits, kicks, or screams. That this behavior means their child will be the school bully or end up being the next Dexter. These fears trigger parents to question how they should react to aggressive behavior.

What to do when my child hits?

This is one of the most common questions we hear among parents of preschool children. Honestly, in the past, my go-to answer has always been to ignore the negative behaviors and respond immediately to the "victim".

What does this look like?

Your son hits your daughter and your daughter starts crying. You immediately go to your daughter, giving your son no attention and empathizing with her. With this approach your son sees you modeling empathy while also receiving neither positive nor negative attention for his behavior. Most parents struggle with this idea and ask "Is this not letting your son get away with his aggressive behaviour?"

No, he is not "getting away" with anything. He knows that hitting was wrong, he knows that he hurt his sister by her reaction. Punishment or lecturing is not going to teach him anything about the scenario that he does not already know.

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Why the punishments don't work?

Parents often want to punish any negative behavior with the good intention of teaching their children right from wrong.

The truth is punishments do not work in the way we assume.

Think about a criminal stealing a car. That criminal knows that stealing the car may end him up in jail, but he steals it anyway.

Why? Because the reward of stealing the car is a much greater payoff than the fear of going to jail.

In truth, the chance of going to jail doesn't even cross his mind.

The same goes for children. The reward, whether it be attention, a toy, or revenge is a much greater payoff to your child than the punishment that follows.

At the moment they lose control and hit, the punishment whatever it may be, is not even a thought.

This can be a hard pill to swallow for a parent who is more authoritarian and feel that they have control over their child's behaviors.

Okay, don't punish, but is ignoring the negative behavior really the best practice?

I have been using the "ignore" method with my children for many years, as it is what all the books and research have suggested, and I am not convinced. My children's behavior has not changed and I noticed instead that my son's self-esteem seems to be decreasing. So after a bit more research with a focus on positive parenting, I looked at that scenario again from his perspective.

He has so many feelings that he loses control and hits his sister. I then ignore HIS feelings completely and attend to her every need. How awful this must feel for him.

Not only did his problem leading to the behavior not matter, but now he feels like I want nothing to do with him. This doesn't seem right to me. So what else can we do?

Positive Discipline by Dr. Jane Nelsen suggests the idea of actually attending to the child who hits first before we comfort the "victim", and then have them help us comfort the "victim".

This idea seemed extremely foreign to me and I'll be honest I started to have all of those authoritarian feelings of rewarding the negative behavior, but I was forgetting to look at it from my son's perspective. He has a feeling that causes him to lose control of his body and hits. I come over putting a hand on each child and empathize with him "Wow you felt so awful about something that your body hit. It must have been scary not to be able to control your body. Can you tell me about it?"

Once we both understand the problem, prompt him to empathize with his sister by asking "Your sister didn't know you wanted that toy, how do you think she is feeling right now? How can we help her?" No further "punishment" or lecture is required. All are dealt with and we move on.

In the above scenario, my son has his feelings validated while also understanding that his actions caused his sister to feel hurt. He then gets to help find a solution to repair his behaviors and feels pride in being helpful. As Dr. Jane Nelsen states, "When did we start believing children need to feel worse to behave better?".

This seems like a much better and more productive way of handling aggressive behavior than ignoring it ever was.

We as parents have the most difficult job. Just like with any job it is our responsibility to keep learning and keep finding the best practices. We most certainly will not always have the answers, but to remain complacent is irresponsible. The world is constantly changing and therefore we as parents need to continue to challenge the old ways of thinking and give our kids the best we can.

If you're looking for more support with aggressive behaviors try downloading De-escalating the Tantrums HERE, or book a 20-minute call HERE to talk more about how G.R.E.A.T. Parenting can support you.

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m a h a r G i Ca MUM, PARENTING EXPERT, AUTHOR & SPEAKER

What do you do?

I help Parents Support their Children - so that Together we can Build a Mentally Healthier and Happier Generation of Young People.

What issues do you deal with?

Anxiety, Confidence, Communication, Discipline, Motivation, Self-Care, Self-Harm.

How can you help?

The TEEN Toolbox™ series is basically the Umbrella under which I work. It is my collection of products and services that are specifically geared towards parents and their teenagers. These include: courses, consultations, in-home visits, and retreats

What can I expect?

Well that all depends on what product or service you are using.

Above all - I want to leave you with takeaways. Practical techniques and tools that will equip you with the challenges that you are dealing with.

I offer a free 30 minute call www.caigraham.com/discovery

More on what I offer...

Spotlight Course : These courses give you an in depth insight into the specific challenges you are experiencing.

You are provided with a deeper understanding and a clear-cut exercises designed to help you conquer these particular obstacles. Many of these courses can be completed in an hour or so. They are child-friendly and are designed to gain rapid results.

Flagship Course : Let’s face it - you are your child’s best Role Model. So this course is designed to help you support your child to the very best of your ability. It is a detailed blueprint to help you build both your parenting expertise and confidence.

The course is broken down into 8 modules and requires an investment of your time and commitment.

There is also the opportunity to be part of our online community. Join me and other like-minded parents where your questions and challenges can be shared and addressed.

Take this course - your kids will, thank you, one day!

1-2-1 Consultations : This is the opportunity to work with me personally ( from hourly calls to coaching packages ) I love these sessions, as they are a fantastic opportunity for me to connect with you at a deeper level and a great way for us to work together more closely; without judgement and with a sprinkling of humour!

Working with me directly will help you achieve your parenting goals faster. We can address the issues that are unique to your family and deal with everyone’s challenges individually : ✔️ Identify the obstacles that are currently holding you back. ✔️ Get pointers to will help you better connect with your child. ✔️ Understand how to build stronger relationships with the whole family. ✔️ Learn new ways to communicate – so that you and your teen can talk more freely. ✔️Free App : The TEEN Toolbox™ : Signposts you to my social media channels and some quick exercises that will help you support you immediately. www.caigraham.com/app

All About Teen Anxiety

✔️My Book : The TEEN Toolbox™ : Keep this on your nightstand! It’s a valuable point of reference when you need to gain some parenting answers. www.caigraham.com/book

How can I find you?

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FAMILY HISTORY What My Family History Taught Me About Parenting

By Wanda Robichaud, Wanda Zen Mama

Do you know how you judge your parents for how you were treated growing up?

You blame them when your child cries and you feel triggered because your parents couldn't handle it when you cried. Or you want to yell every time your child knocks over their milk. It's so hard right?

I often talk a lot about working on our own self-awareness. But there is another level of healing that can come when we understand why our parents yelled or avoided dealing with our big feelings.

Recently I learned these things about my Mom: Their home didn't have running water when she was little.

Growing up they didn't have a clothes dryer so clothes were hung to dry outside during summer and winter.

In the fall storm windows had to be put on and in the spring they were removed and replaced with screen windows. It got very hot in the spring and it was drafty in the winter.

They lived on a farm and my grandparents were always working. My mom and her brothers and sisters helped out a lot on the farm too.

What I learned about the life of my parents and grandparents made me realize how in survival mode they really were.

When you are in survival mode there is little time or energy for pausing to be mindful. There is no time to consider how yelling might affect a child in the future.

Learning all of this brought me to another realization.

I felt so much gratitude for being here at this time in history after all of the hardships of those that came before me. And then came the awareness that I don't have to live as if I were in survival mode.

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In fact, I feel I owe it to myself (and past generations) to end the cycle of lack, and appreciate the life that I have.

A life where I: homeschool my children if I choose never worry about food or warmth pursue my dreams spend time on self-development and selfcare Have you connected with the generations who came before you in this way?

Spending time reflecting on them can bring a lot of healing and help you move forward.

Once you've begun to understand where you've come from you might want to know some practical strategies for getting out of the survival mindset.

When we change how we speak it can transform our inner dialogue as well as the inner dialogue we pass on to our children.

Here are some examples of how you can change your speech to reflect an attitude of thriving rather than of surviving - "Let's save for that." vs "We can't afford that."

- "I would prefer not to spend my money on that." vs "We can't afford that."

- "I would prefer we do something else." vs "We can't do that."

- "Maybe we can do that later this week." vs "We can't do that."

- "I'm going to the store." or "I get to go to the store." vs "I have to go to the store."

- "let's appreciate our food by only taking what we can eat." vs "Don't waste food."

-"Let me finish up what I'm doing first." or "Let's save that activity for another day." vs "I don't have time for that."

As you can see, getting out of survival mode doesn't only apply to money. It's our entire mindset that began in infanthood. It can relate to time, energy, or even the ability to receive a compliment.

If moving forward in your parenting journey out of survival mode and into connection and calm is something you crave, I'm here for you.

Reach out and book a free call at https://calendly.com/wandazenmama/30min

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l e s o J e i l s e L

ORDER OUT OF CHAOS

What do you do?

Order Out of Chaos’ mission is to provide hands-on education, guidance and coaching to parents and their students through our customized products and programs, so all children – both mainstream and with learning issues – can develop the necessary skills they need to experience success in learning and in life.

Knowing how to help your child develop the skills they need doesn’t come naturally for everyone.

Order Out of Chaos is built on the philosophy that the coaching process is a journey that begins and ends with YOU. Our process is organic – it evolves as we figure out TOGETHER what needs changing and what works best for you. The end results are tailor-made to fit your needs. We will focus you and help you, but YOU set the pace and the tone.

What issues do you deal with?

We coach both parents and students to help with study skills, ADHD management, executive functioning skills, time management, procrastination and so much more.

How can you help?

We provide workshops and webinars, products and programs, group and one-on-one coaching for both parents and their students. Everything is available virtually. So you choose how and to what extent you need support and coaching.

What can I expect?

You can expect to be supported, guided and nurtured. The Order Out of Chaos community is a robust and active community.

Academic Planners now on sale

Buy the book

Time Management for our Teens

How can I find you?

You can connect with me here.

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GOT TEENS? worried? struggling? looking for answers?

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

WHEN YOU NEED HELP

FIND A PARENT COACH Gone are the days of shame when you mention 'your therapist'. If you are having a difficult time dealing with all the stresses of the world, seek help from one of the many qualified parent coaches and counsellors in your area.

WHERE TO LOOK www.ParentCoach.Club Search by professional, location, pricing, and topic.

Support offered online.

.

A .

M , l e i t n o M Sonja COLLEGE CONFIDENCE What do you do?

While maintaining a compassionate relationship, I train parents to become the best educator for their teens so they can feel confident about plans after high school.

What issues do you deal with?

I focus on communication skills and knowledge specific to helping your teens create a plan ready to implement as they approach high school graduation. Topics include college affordability, college admissions options, career training, identifying the right majors for teens, building the college list, college essay writing strategies, and so much more!

What can I expect?

Let’s schedule a 30-minute call to talk about your needs and your starting point! We will determine which service plan is best for you which can include our: comprehensive workbook with action plans, templates, and agenda samples, online podcast training program if you are always on the go, 10-session online parent course, and/or one-to-one coaching

How can you help?

Helping teens plan their paths after high school can create tension and conflict in the home mostly because families are waiting too late to begin, or there isn’t enough information on what the options are, what requirements fulfill each option, and how to engage with teens to ignite their motivation to be active in making a plan. As an expert in the field of college admissions for 20 years, I will provide training and coaching that places teens at the center of planning. Parents and teens will no longer have to face this educational journey with uncertainty, worry, and confusion!

What other parents say about me “Sonja gave me the communication tools to allow me to take charge of the college process. I was familiar with the college application process, however was clueless on how to have impactful and meaningful conversations with my teen. My daughter and I are so much more closer! Thank you so much!”

“I have been working with College Confidence for years and I truly will not work with anyone else. Sonja's experience is unmatched. She is professional and an expert in college admissions. She will not only advocate for your child, but will be a critical pillar in your family's journey. She's that good!”

“Thank you again for your wonderful presentation/talk for our group. I feel we all (parents and students) learned quite a bit from you that night. My daughter and I both agreed the way you presented the college process, was with a lot of positive influence and enthusiasm. You made it sound challenging about writing ‘your story’ but in a way that made the girls feel special and that it is ok to like yourself and tell college why they would benefit from the you as the applicant. To go for it!”

Navigating College Admissions

How can I find you?

n a g a F Tia CERTIFIED PARENT COACH

What do you do?

I am a Certified Conscious Parenting Method TM Parent Coach. I offer online coaching to parents, workshops, and also guide parents and nonparents live a more authentic life through my “Stepping into the Authentic You” course. Supporting parents to improve their relationships,

deepen connection, and find the joy in parenting is my passion!

What issues do you deal with?  Supporting Parents through Transitions  Strengthening the Parent-Teen Relationship  Improving Communication and Creating Deeper Connection  Addressing Challenges such as Screen Time, Disrespect, Anger, Boundaries, Lack of

Motivation, Anxiety, and More!

How can you help?

As a mom to twin young adult daughters in college, I have firsthand experience of parenting through the teenage years. I help parents understand why your teen is behaving the way they are and how to guide, connect, and support them to create the relationship you both long for. I teach you my 5-Step S.H.I.F.T. process to help you SHIFT from Surviving to Thriving in your

family.

What can I expect?

I offer confidential and nonjudgmental coaching via phone or online where we work together to guide your teen while also providing tools to help you navigate the ups and downs of parenting teenagers. As we support our teens with connection, they also learn to trust themselves more

and walk through life with authenticity.

What other parents say about Tia “Tia's incredible capacity to listen without judgement, to hold a mirror up for us as parents to see what does and does not work and to offer insight into the minds of our teens, are a few of her greatest talents. I have seen example after example of how the smallest changes to my parenting styles have led to a blossoming in my daughter's heart and mind. A huge thank you to Tia for having such an impact on our family as a whole.” - A.M. “I am so grateful for Tia and her wisdom and encouragement. During our sessions I never felt judged for my mistakes. She treated me with empathy and kindness every step of the way. I feel more confident in my own abilities and I know that when my family hits the inevitable bumps in the road, I have a wonderful safe place to gain more wisdom.” - C.S. “Tia has helped me navigate the challenges of being a mom of two teenage daughters. Tia helps me to take a step back and view my situation from a different perspective or to work through my feelings of frustration or self doubt. She listens without judgement. I am so grateful for all of her knowledge and guidance.” – J.G.

FREE Gift – “Parenting With Intention” Click Here to receive your free “Parenting With Intention” worksheet that will guide you through the process of creating, setting, and living your parenting intention to create a more calm and connected family.

3 Ways to Deepen the Connection with your Teenager

How can I find you?

You can connect with me here:

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e r a c self t o n is h s i f sel

GET THE FREE DOWNLOAD CLICK HERE

The Manager's Toolkit to Supporting Employees' Return to Work Post COVID-19 Questions? Contact our team: 1-888-752-9954 or gowanhealth@gowanhealth.com

gowantraining.com

WHEN YOU NEED HELP

FIND A PARENT COACH Gone are the days of shame when you mention 'your therapist'. If you are having a difficult time dealing with all the stresses of the world, seek help from one of the many qualified parent coaches and counsellors in your area.

WHERE TO LOOK www.ParentCoach.Club Search by professional, location, pricing, and topic.

Support offered online.

Access the top parenting experts IN THE WORLD right now

Subscribe to our NEW YouTube Channel here!

Expert advice when you need it!

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r e g n i l o Linda B

INTUITIVE MENTOR & THETAHEALING PRACTITIONER

What do you do?

I help parents and teens strengthen their relationship with SELF.

How is this accomplished?

I utilize my intuition to navigate to the origin of emotional blocks, negative experiences and beliefs that are negatively impacting your current relationship with self and others.

Together we will peel the layers, with clarity, intent and new perspective, to release what no longer serves you and your teen.

What can I expect?

Results. Clarity & new perspective.

Resolution to undesired situations & experiences that will leave you feeling light, without carrying the emotional “load.”

How do I get started?

I invite you to connect with me via email or social media to book your FREE 30-min clarity call to chat about the specific needs and changes you are looking for in your current relationship. Once enrolled in my mentorship, we will create a plan that is tailored to your specific needs and schedule weekly sessions to jump into desired change.

What can be expected by investing in MYSELF and TEEN via your Mentorship?

You will strengthen your intuition and align to #BYObestself in this 10hr FLEXIBLE program. Let your weekly sessions be tailored to you and the needs of your teen. If you are READY to shift out of your current situation and create change that lasts, this program is for you. Step into joy, positivity and a future that excites you, with the tips, exercises and healing that comes with this program! Invest in SELF to experience the change you are longing for.

Hear it from others who have invested in self & committed to CHANGE in their relationship:

Linda is my absolute go-to person when I need support, clarity and direction. She has helped me find my way through many moments I have felt lost. Linda has also helped my teen-age daughter through many typical teen-age struggles. My daughter is a much happier person after her sessions with Linda. She works with Linda on a regular basis now and is doing amazing!! Thank you Linda for the work you do. My family is very grateful to have you on our side.️Jennifer Funnell (Ontario, Canada) Linda is a gifted healer - she intuitively gets to the source of my obstacles and answers questions I didn't even know how to ask. I know that I can get on a call with her and I can trust that I'll feel better in just 60 minutes. She's helped guide me ….to follow my intuition and trust how to be in the flow. Before our session today, I felt untethered, lost in space, disconnected from my body - anxious, fearful, and overwhelmed - and definitely not creative! After our session I felt re-inspired, like a weight was lifted off my shoulders - and I felt connected to myself again. I highly recommend you go to Linda when you need help that you can't always put words to - she'll figure it out! -Jen Pillow (British Columbia, Canada) Working with Linda is a great experience overall. Coming in to sessions and working with Linda helped me clear my mind and really think rationally after. As well it calms and relaxes your mind and body during sessions. Working with Linda really helped me think about different aspects of situations, and working on finding out more about myself. After leaving I felt very positive and clear minded always looking forward to the next session. Nicholas ~ 18 years old (Ontario, Canada)

ThetaHealing for Teenagers How can I find you?

You can connect with me here:

what if the answer to your life and business success was

H U M A N C O N N E C T I O N

If you are a Parent

J O I N

U S

If you are a Parent Coach

J O I N

U S

L E T ' S

C O N N E C T O N L I N E

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t t e r r a B e n n a e D RADIANT LEADERSHIP COACHING FOR MOMS

What do you do?

I offer online coaching to sensitive, empathic moms who want to be a strong leader for their pre-teens and teens

What issues do you deal with?

Anxiety, resentment, frustration, energy leaks, boundaries.

How can you help?

I help moms connect to deeply sourced LOVE energy to be the compassionate and strong leader their teen needs.

What can I expect?

I offer a free 30 minute call to see if we are good fit for one of my private or group coaching programs. Private calls happen once a week over the phone.

Group coaching happens over the phone and video conferencing. Ask me how to gain access to my library of resources, and my monthly Radiant Mom Tribe calls!

What other parents say about Deanne This work has transformed the way I see my teens and it has given me a gift to help them develop their confidence and achieve their goals.” –Deb Hemmaway I find that Deanne presents topics in a very positive, mindful and deliberate way. After the coaching calls I feel grounded and inspired to connect with my daughter in a new way. This is in contrast to some presentations when I leave feeling deflated and thinking “I should do this” or “I should be this”. – Jutta Shaw “This is really working! I’m glad I chose this coaching over therapy, because instead of ruminating over what’s not working, I have some clear, practical things that I can try” – Rebecca, mom of a high school aged son

Three things you can do right now to create an energetic connection with your teen.

1- Put your hand on your heart and take three slow, deep breaths 2- Envision a peaceful, connected moment with your teen in your mind’s eye 3- Send love out to your teen. Visualise pink light radiating out from your heart and enveloping your teen.

How to be a Leader for your Teen How can I find you?

You can connect with me here:

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Present

I'm guilty of this - sitting here on a snow

day, the kids playing outside and I am on

my computer. The pressures of work

deadlines, getting the bills paid today,

replying to emails that are weighing

down my inbox, and all the while

thinking about how I will get out of my

lane to get groceries, get dinner started

and make it to my youth group that I

mentor this evening. And this is a slow

day.

How can I be present when as soon as I

complete one of these tasks, two more

pop up?

Do you ever feel like this? Overwhelm.

True heavy overwhelm.

My answer today - take one task at a time

and complete it. Set aside time for the

kids when nothing else can distract me,

and go easy on myself. Some things can

wait until tomorrow...but my kids won't

always have a snow day.

How can I be present

when there is so much

to do?

If you are anything like me, I am really

hard on myself. I want to be able to do it

all...and do it well.

The truth is, I can't do it all alone. Today, I

will be kind to myself and surround

myself with people that lift me up. Will

you join me?

Let's connect in our Facebook Group at: https://www.facebook.com/groups/parent

guideacademy/ Wishing you moments of peace and

presence today.

Jennifer XOXO

Welcome to COLD & FLU SEASON

PRIN this T page

IS IT A FEVER? When your child is sick they

may have a fever. If you

Method

Normal Temperature

think your child has a fever,

Rectum

38°C (100.4°F)

use a thermometer. Your

Mouth

37.5°C (99.5°F)

child has a fever if their

Armpit

37.3°C (99.1°F)

temperature is above the

Ear

38°C (100.4°F)

number listed here:

d n a l n e e t Doreen S RELATIONSHIP COACH

What do you do?

I offer the Parenting with Intention Workshop online and coach parents of teens to help them navigate their changing relationship, married couples who desire to deepen their relationship, and teens who desire to grow in resilience.

What issues do you deal with?

Relationship-Managing EmotionsNeuroplasticity-Creating ResilienceDevelopment of Powerful world changing teens

How can you help?

I help create awareness, and provide tools and strategies for developing deep, meaningful relationships with your teen, self and God, through coaching and transformational neuroscience.

What can I expect?

The Parenting With Intention Workshop is a four week workshop done on Zoom and runs quarterly.

For one on one coaching, our calls usually last 45 minutes (30 minutes for teens) and can be done from anywhere in the world. I offer a free inquiry call to see if I’m the right coach for you and your family.

What other parents say about Doreen “After applying the new things I learned, I have figured out ways to defuse situations before they ignite - which avoids unproductive arguing and I'm focused on the message I want to teach her.

This class was amazing!” Jennifer Neilson

“We learned techniques to bring down the escalated emotions and instead begin productive communication where we can all learn and think constructively. More importantly, we learned great techniques on how to have healthy communication with our kids! sign up...you will not be disappointed.” Elizabeth Renna

“Many times, we reacted abruptly from our own emotions. It was eye-opening to learn that we could handle situations in a completely different way. It was also helpful to learn from the other parents that we were not alone in our challenges to better connect with our teens. We learned tools that provided us with the ability to pause before reacting and to look at situations from both sides.” Elizabeth Pilla

Christian Coaching How can I find you?

You can connect with me here:

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I JUST WANT TO RAISE GOOD KIDS

By: Kate Garzon, Guided Parenting Support--GPS, LLC

Sometimes parents come to me because they want guidance for specific issues… temper tantrums, sibling rivalry, sleep, school success and motivation, they feel themselves drifting apart from their tweens and teens, or they would like to be better at parenting on the same page as their spouse (or ex-spouse, as the case may be).

However, more often than not what I hear from these loving and attentive parents is "I just want to raise good kids! Help!" Specifically, they want to raise children-who become adults--who are happy, healthy, contributing to society in positive ways, gainfully employed, have strong relationships with good people, and--most importantly--who aren't living in their basement when they're 40. Not asking for much, right? ;-)

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Actually, they're not. These are reasonable goals with relatively high odds of success… if you do a few things well, more or less consistently, over their formative years, the chances are decent that your kids will turn out just fine. So, without further ado, I present to you "Three Tips for Raising Good Kids". Enjoy!

PROTECT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM, ABOVE ALL ELSE. A strong relationship with your children will be their primary protective factor throughout their lifetime. It will be the thing that brings them back to you when they're hurt, scared, angry, in danger, in trouble, or have made a mistake and need help to dig themselves out. Knowing that they can trust you to be their safe place, that you will help them to problem-solve, and that you love spending time with them will ensure that, no matter how bad it gets for them, they'll come to you. You will be their primary protection against depression, addiction, excessive risk-taking behaviors, and unhealthy relationships, and you'll be their support system if any of those circumstances do occur. Spend time with them doing things that they love; listen to them when they want to talk to you (even when the timing is inconvenient or the topic is uncomfortable), and take an interest in their friends and their lives. Love them through the eye-rolling, the door-slamming, the "I hate you and you don't understand me at all!" and the awkwardness of them trying to figure out how to come back to you after they've said things they didn't mean. Most importantly, when there's a rupture in the relationship (which is inevitable, because we all lose our tempers or don't handle things as well as we could have sometimes) apologize and make amends. Teach them that when YOU make a mistake you trust them to love you because that will show them that when THEY make a mistake they can trust you to love them too.

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SET BOUNDARIES. Being their safe space doesn't mean their lives are without consequences.

Every choice they make in life will have an outcome, and it's essential that they learn from a young age that THEY are responsible for being accountable when their choices or actions break rules or cause harm to others. Create reasonable boundaries that are appropriate for their ages and developmental stages, and kindly but firmly hold those boundaries tight--even when they're angry. Be there to support them while they feel the consequences of their choices, and problem-solve with them regarding how to make amends…but please don't rescue them from their responsibilities as humans.

MAKE CHORES A PART OF THEIR LIVES FROM A VERY YOUNG AGE. Including children and teens in the responsibilities and decisions of the household is how they'll learn valuable life skills; how they'll learn to organize and problem-solve and manage their time; and it's why they'll feel like valued, contributing members of the family, which has direct links to confidence and self-esteem. It sounds simple but it has profound, positive impacts for the whole family, especially as your children become teens and young adults. Knowing they're needed brings meaning and purpose to young lives while they're figuring out how they want to contribute to the world at large.

And that's it. If you were expecting a list of rules that needed to be followed perfectly in order to raise good kids, I hope you're not disappointed. If you do these three things, more or less consistently, throughout their formative years, they're probably going to turn out just fine :-) And if you haven't been doing them so far, it's never too late to start.

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. d E .

M , n zó Kate Gar GUIDED PARENTING SUPPORT--GPS

How can you help?

I offer online and in-person private coaching sessions, and both virtual and live parent education courses and workshops.

What can I expect?

We will begin with a complimentary, 30-minute Discovery Call to get to know each other.

Following that, we will use a simple and collaborative five-step process to identify and prioritize your concerns and create a roadmap for success that keeps YOU in the driver's seat of your family.

What other parents are saying about GPS...

“Simply put, Kate is the Child Whisperer. She has an innate ability to zero in on root cause – and proposes easy, no-stress solutions for managing challenging situations." -Parent of 2- and 4-year-olds "Kate Garzón is a gifted educator—both of children and parents. By the end of our first conversation, she had provided me with a concrete and helpful plan that I could implement immediately. It’s difficult to say, ‘I feel like I’m missing something here. This is my kid, but I just can’t see the solution.’ Kate made me feel heard, empowered, supported. I left our conversation feeling better about myself as a parent and confident in the road ahead.” -Parent of three children ages 8, 6, and 10 months “As a mother of two teenagers, the landscape of parenting is everchanging. Kate is an incredible resource who always makes me feel equipped with the tools during this period. Most importantly she provides guidance and an understanding of their needs and development. Her coaching is approachable and always empowering - as a parent I feel more confident in my role thanks to her.”-Parent of 13- and 15-year-olds

Healthy Screen Time Habits How can I find you?

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MENTAL HEALTH DAYS & YOUR NEEDY CHILD

by Aparna Venkataraman, Beauty in Parenting

Discover my 3 questions I use in coaching sessions with mamas

One of my top questions from parents of all ages these days is:

“Help! My child is so needy and always wants attention right now - what can I do?”

Filling up your child’s need for connection and approval isn’t easy - it varies from child-to-child and sometimes takes extra practice for one child!

3 questions I use in coaching sessions with mamas is: Have you genuinely praised them recently through their love language?

What does this look like for you? Do you know your child’s love language? See page 64 for a list of love languages.

Do you take time to spend with others regularly to fill up your energy levels and restore?

Is your daily schedule meeting YOUR needs, too, so you can model independence?

What ways do you foster your child’s independence so that they can learn how to be comfortable on their own?

Fostering their independence can mean socially, mentally, or even for mealtime! That’s where we start off in the journey of independence for your child - with them voicing their needs and how they are getting met —- and discipline and peaceful parenting are the 2 ends of the spectrum!

Aparna Venkataraman is the founder of Beauty In Parenting and has an extensive background of 15+ years of experience guiding 1000s of families in schools, children’s hospitals, and non-profit organizations to feel less stress on a consistent basis. She is a worldwide parent coach for babies, toddlers & teens and is also a meditation and breathwork teacher, motivational speaker and essential oils educator - here to help YOU create healthy boundaries in life and family that feel wonderful!

Connect with her on Facebook and Instagram at @beautyinparenting or email hello@beautyinparenting.com

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BOOK REVIEW - 5 LOVE LANGUAGES Never before has raising teens been so perplexing. If you are wondering what on earth you're doing wrong, you're not alone. But there is hope. By learning to meaningfully express love amid your teen's many changes, you can stay connected, maintain influence, and help them grow into a healthy adult.

Dr. Gary Chapman will help you: Understand today's teenagers Identify your teen's primary love language Discover how to best express love to your teen Address your teen's need for independence and responsibility Respond with love and wisdom when your teen fails Raising teens is tough, but with Dr. Chapman's expert advice and practical examples, you can do it--and do it well.

What's their language of love? l. Words of affirmation – using words to build up the other person. “Thanks for taking out the garbage.”

2. Gifts – a gift says, “Mom was thinking about me. Look what she got for me.”

3. Acts of Service – Doing something for your teen that you know they would like. Cooking a special meal, making their bed when they aren't feeling well.

4. Quality time – give your teen your undivided attention.

5. Physical touch – high fives, hugging, are all expressions of love.

Out of these five, each of you has a primary love language that speaks more deeply to you than all the others.

Discovering your teen's language and speaking it regularly is the best way to keep a connection.

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YOU ARE NOT ALONE

FREE 1:1 Consultation with a

PARENT COACH parentcoach.club

WWW.PARENTCOACH.CLUB ⎟65

Aparna Venkataraman PARENT COACH WELLNESS EDUCATOR MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER MINDFULNESS EDUCATOR

What do you do?

I offer 1-on-1 online parent coaching and guided meditation sessions to parents and teens, as well as e-guides and essential oil education.

What issues do you deal with?

Anxiety, depression, self-worth, communication, mindfulness, academic focus, leadership skills.

How can you help?

I offer practical techniques and tips for self-care, emotion self-regulation, communication and overall confidence to help you feel more flow, joy, ease and connection!

What can I expect?

I offer a free 30-minute consultation to discuss your needs and we meet either weekly or biweekly. You will also have access to all of my mindfulness and essential oil resources.

What other parents say about me It was really lovely having direct phrases to communicate more with my child and partner, as I felt less stress and more equipped to manage things in the future and love myself more in the process.

— Edith D. I really loved hearing her perspective and experiences and how she could relate to what I was going through with my daughter - she’s very compassionate and helped me to be more mindful.

— Kelly A. After working with her, my children and I saw a huge shift in how we thought about and connected with one another. Now we all have a loving, fun relationship!

— Andrea M.

Book a FREE session here

Self Care, Confidence & Leadership for Teens and Their Parents

How can I find you?

You can connect with me here.

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WHEN I CHECK HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENTS OR ACTIVITIES IN HER CALENDAR, MY ADHD TEEN SAYS I’M NAGGING. BUT HOW CAN I SUPPORT HER IF I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON?

By Leslie Josel - ADHD Academic Coach, Order out of Chaos

Q: “Twice a week, I make my 14-year-old daughter sit down with me to show me her planner and assignments. She gets so angry when I do this. She feels like I’m nagging, but I need to know what is going on with her schoolwork and activities to plan our family calendar and to anticipate areas where she may need support. It’s a constant battle. What can I do?” – CRosen Hi CRosen: Your question really resonated with me. When my son (who has ADHD) was in middle school, WE would hold bi-weekly meetings. “We” is the operative word. I presented these “meetings” to Eli as a joint partnership, and not as a one-sided conversation. It was important to me that he felt it was as necessary to know what was going on in my week as much as I needed to know his. A level playing field you might say. And I’m thinking perhaps that’s what is missing for you.

With phones and planners in hand, we spent a few minutes at the beginning (usually Sundays) and in the middle (Wednesdays) of the week reviewing upcoming school assignments, after-school activities, personal appointments, family events, etc. We went over tasks, timing, logistics, all the details, and work needed to set up a schedule together.

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Q: What Are the Best Planners for ADHD Brains? Paper or Digital?

A. We kept our meetings informal and light, however, we included everything from upcoming tests and project dates to play rehearsals, doctors’ appointments, and weekend activities.

To avoid being a “nag,” I made sure I shared my schedule (and my husband’s) too, so he knew if I was traveling or had late evening plans. Therefore, he knew if he could count on us for a ride home from an activity, an evening study session the night before an exam, etc., or needed to make alternative plans. By approaching our time together as a joint planning session, my son never felt I was being intrusive or critical.

Trust me when I say it took a long time to get to that point. But by constantly reminding him that he needed to know if I was available on certain days and times, made him available to me! Those weekly meetings also allowed me to help him build time-management and planning skills (so critical for those with executive functioning challenges) by encouraging him to think forward and plan to accomplish what he needed to get done. It also provided me with an opportunity to offer critical support and encouragement.

Q: Should I Police My Child’s Homework Completion?

“In checking ‘completed homework,’ are we checking for how ‘complete’ it is or just that it is submitted by deadline regardless of how complete?”

A. This is a tough question without a one-size-fits-all answer; there really is no hard-and-fast rule for “done” when you are checking homework.

Some will say that it’s a parent’s job to make sure the student has the space and materials to do their homework and the encouragement to get it done to the best of their ability. And that is it. Those in that camp feel it’s the teacher’s job to check it and provide feedback. In fact, they feel that any parental involvement is detrimental to the student’s learning since their teacher is not getting an accurate read on the student’s understanding and performance.

Perhaps a meeting with the teacher is necessary.

Prior to the meeting, I recommend sending a list of questions/concerns to each teacher to gather specifics beforehand. You want to know if your daughter is performing at Others will tell you that you should check your child’s homework so that you can see what they’re learning and the degree to which they understand the material, provide help if they are having difficulty, and check to see if the quantity and homework style is appropriate.

Neither is a wrong approach, as long as it’s working to increase your child’s independence and encouraging him to take responsibility for his learning so that you can slowly relinquish control. Regardless of your approach, before you can pull back, you need to make sure your son has the tools to forge ahead… on his own.

Good Luck!

h c n e u Kim M

PARENT & TEEN GUIDE

What do you do?

I specialize in helping parents of kids ages 10-25 enjoy peaceful homes and relationships within their family. I do this with compassion and without judgment. This work is not about quick strategies, it's about working with the parent to create lasting, generational change in the family environment.

What issues do you deal with?

I have personally experienced and worked with teen pregnancy, adolescent addiction, anxiety, and depression.

How can you help?

Together we work to identify the limiting beliefs your child's behavior is triggering inside of you and work through them to discover new beliefs that will better serve the parent/child relationship you are in. We work on parenting with rather than over your child.

What can I expect?

I always offer a 20-minute complimentary consultation in order to learn more about your unique family situation and to help you get to me and how I work with parents. I have a reasonable hourly rate, weekly custom packages, and I also offer an 8-week online course I will personally guide you through one module per week.

How can I find you?

I am on Facebook at Real Life Parent Guide, you can text me anytime at 972-689-0250 to schedule our complimentary consultation.

What other parents say about Kim "Thank you for caring so much about my comfort on this journey...you pushed enough buttons to get stuff out and done, but not enough to cause dread. I am a better parent for having worked with you." ~Carmen, mom of two "You helped me understand my kids aren't acting and saying things just to hurt me, it is there way of showing me they are growing up and making decisions for themselves. I don't take their statements as personally anymore, I know that this is how teenagers express there need for a feeling of independence." Deb, mom of twin teen boys and college-age girl "Best investment I ever made for our family!" Jennifer, mom of four teens "Thank you for caring so much about my comfort on this journey...you pushed buttons just enough to get stuff out and done but not enough to create dread." Carmen, mom of two "You heard and understood where sometimes I don't feel my wife gets where I'm coming from. Just hearing myself talk out loud and you're asking me the right questions brought me so much peace of mind. Thank you, Kim, for doing this work!" David, stepdad of three

5 Essential Elements of Parenting Teens

How can I find you?

WWW.PARENTCOACH.CLUB ⎟73

We are here for you!

We are heading into the 6th month of the pandemic and it may not be over for some time yet. If you are wondering how to navigate life right now, please know that we are here for you. Our community of qualified Parent Coaches are ready to support you and walk with you through this challenging time. Reach out to them for a free 30-minute confidential call here!

Some Ideas to support your family during the pandemic...

1. Hold Family Meetings weekly to stay connected and talk about what you like and what you don't like about your time together during the pandemic.

2. Create a contract to include items you want to keep as you move out of isolation. Have everyone from the family sign it. Once the world opens up fully again you may forget the things that you liked; writing it down will help keep you on track.

3. Be careful. Encourage your kids to continue to wash their hands frequently for at least 20 seconds.

Notice how often they are touching their face and help them recognize when they are doing this.

4. Be kind. Not everyone will be ready to integrate into 'normal' activities. Never judge or shame someone that is not ready to interact and participate in daily life activities like they did before the pandemic.

5. Stay in touch with your older kids that will be heading back to college or university. These are unprecedented times and they will be doing their best to 'get back to normal' but may need your support to navigate their emotions.

6. Think about how you were not prepared for this pandemic and make a decision to be prepared if it happens again. Pandemic-proof your work, stay healthy, and create a savings account and put money away each month for emergencies such as this.

Our Parent Coaches offer a FREE 30-minute, confidential call! Reach out to them at www.parentcoach.club

If you are struggling with how your life has been affected by the pandemic, reach out for support. Our Parent Coaches can help you work through a range of emotions. They specialize in everything from newborn care, to college success, from toddler tantrums to marriage support and more. Most offer a 30-minute free confidential chat to help you through life during and after the pandemic.

Together we will be stronger and more prepared for our new and improved postpandemic lives. Just don't forget that you have all the power and control to create what that life will look like. It is, and always has been, in your hands. Sending love and strength and wisdom to you all! We have learned so much and now it is time to collectively make sure we live our best lives - in our own unique way!

GOT TEENS? worried? struggling? looking for answers?

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

d u a h c i b o Wanda R WANDA ZEN MAMA, PARENT COACH

What do you do?

I support parents of spirited children under six to discover their inner Zen Master

What issues do you deal with?

Conscious parenting, behaviour and tantrums, parent and child connection, siblings

How can you help?

Many of us didn’t grow up with a model of what conscious parenting looks like. This makes it really difficult to stay calm and know what to do when we feel triggered by our child’s big emotions. I help the Mom’s I work with to release the mom guilt, parent with confidence and have a better a relationship with their kids by mastering behaviour management, communication skills and mindset.

What can I expect?

I offer a free 30-minute call to map out your needs and see if we are a good fit. If we go forward you can expect weekly zoom calls and ongoing email support. I offer both four weeks and eight weeks 1:1 coaching packages.

What they say about me...

"I have reached out to Wanda to get some parenting advice and support in my parenting journey of 4 boys under 10. Not only she was extremely understanding and kind, but she has also provided me with tons of resources and very helpful advice on how to deal with the tantrums and lovingly support my youngest through them. I have learned a lot from Wanda. She would be an invaluable support for any parent!"

Marta

My background includes a Bachelor of Education and Twenty years of rewarding experience working with children with developmental disabilities, with a focus on Autism. In 2011 I earned a certification in Hatha Yoga Teacher Training and later took the MBSR Mindfulness training. Mental Wellness is a passion of mine and I’ve taken on roles supporting and educating adults experiencing anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts. The transition into parent coaching through Academy for Coaching Parents International came after meeting my greatest teachers, my two beautiful, energetic boys.

Dealing with Tantrums How can I find you?

WWW.PARENTCOACH.CLUB ⎟77

r o l y a T t e n Ja

PARENT COACH

What do you do?

I empower parents dealing with youth struggling with mental health and addiction issues to focus on the present situation.

What issues do you deal with?

I deal with parent's feelings of guilt, shame, anger, anxiety, other relationships that get affected by the stress; and overall mental health of the parent.

How can you help?

I offer training I have learned over a period of 6 years in a 6 week program to empower parents in dealing with the areas within themselves that they can control to keep them in a healthy mindset - allows parents to be the role model their child needs and wants and allows the parent to deal with longer term issues one step at a time.

What can I expect?

I use Zoom video to connect with you face to face in a confidential space - you can come alone or with your partner. This call is not time sensitive and we will get to talk about your situation, we will focus on the outcome you desire and I will share with you the 6 week program outline and the outcome you can achieve. I also offer a three week intensive course if that applies to your situation.

What other parents say about me: "She helped me tap into my strength and courage and reminded me who I truly am. I felt empowered and stronger after our session. I loved the questions she asked me and enjoyed finding the answers to those questions." Natalia S.

The secret to raising happy kids

How can I find you?

You can connect with me here:

WWW.PARENTCOACH.CLUB ⎟79

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