OutreachNC June 2016

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JUNE 2016 | VOL. 7, ISSUE 6

S&T Soda Shoppe

Where Old-Fashioned Never Goes Out of Style

Serving the Southern Piedmont, Sandhills & Triangle

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quality. compassionate care. When seeking a hospital to care for your family, choose one with quality that’s verified by trusted outside sources. You won’t find another health system from the triangle to the coast with the quality and scope of services offered at Cape Fear Valley. And you won’t find one as committed to your family’s health.



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features JUNE 2016


Better With Age Series: Yates Mill by Jonathan Scott


S&T Soda Shoppe: Where Old-Fashioned Never Goes Out of Style by Jonathan Scott


History Lives On at Mill Prong House by Flo Johnston


Launching a Culture of Reading by Carrie Frye


The Beauty of Memoirs: Telling Your Tale by Rachel Stewart


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Living History Issue


Carolina Conversations with N.C. Sports Hall of Famer Antawn Jamison by Thad Mumau


Old West Hobby Spurs Circle M City by Carrie Frye


Remembering Dear Old Dad by Thad Mumau

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departments June 2016


Wine and cheese are ageless companions, like aspirin and aches, or June and moon, or good people and noble ventures. —M.F.K. Fisher

22 advice & health 10

Ask the Expert by Amy Natt





Cooking Simple by Rhett Morris


Game On by Thad Mumau

Brain Health by Karen D. Sullivan, PhD, ABPP


Belle Weather by Celia Rivenbark


Generations by Carrie Frye


Caregiving by Mike Collins


Reading for Generations by Michelle Goetzl


Fitness by Kelley Vargo


Literary Circle by Cos Barnes


5 Health Benefits of Preserving Personal History by Rachel Stewart


Gentleman’s Notebook by Ray Linville


Grey Matter Games Sudoku, Word Search & Crossword Puzzles


Resource Marketplace Find the resources you need.



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advice previous issues recipes

magazine extras

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4/21/16 3:13 PM

from the editor


une is here, and that means summertime is in the air. This month is our Living History issue, so we’ll take you on a road trip with us to experience some unique places that celebrate a bit of yesteryear and dads, too. History comes in all shapes and sizes, including 6-foot-9, award-winning basketball players, and it is quite an honor to sit down for a Carolina Conversation with 2016 N.C. Sports Hall of Fame inductee Antawn Jamison. Playing around on his home court, which is painted Carolina blue, with his family is something this editor cannot stop smiling about. Working up a thirst from basketball, we headed to Pittsboro’s S&T Soda Shoppe for a quenching orangeade and cherry smash soda fountain concoction. Stepping inside is completely an escape to days gone by, and where every hand-dipped ice cream creation is topped with extra whipped cream, sprinkles and a cherry and delivered with a welcoming smile at this family-owned and -operated local business. Next was a trip to Robbins, where one group set out to make children smile while instilling a culture of reading. Reading Rocket Libraries for Robbins Elementary is a project to inspire the imaginations of young readers and their families, which might impact some future history. Speaking of families, some day trips this summer might include venturing out to two historical places, Yates Mill in Raleigh and the Mill Prong House, outside of Raeford, to see and learn the history of these hidden gems and the many tales they can tell. Then, we saddled up with a fourth-generation cowboy, who has quite a story to tell as he built his own old Western town in western Lee County. Circle M City brings the old West to life with every tour and event. And with another issue complete, co-editor Jeeves is off to make his own history by conquering the most cat naps in a day. Thank you so much for turning these pages with us. Until next month...

—Carrie Frye


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Editor in Chief Carrie Frye | carrief@OutreachNC.com Contributing Graphic Designers Nikki Lienhard, Jonathan Scott Contributing Proofreaders Michelle Goetzl, David Hibbard, Jennifer Kirby, Kate Pomplun Contributing Photographers Katherine Clark, Diana Matthews Contributing Writers Cos Barnes, Mike Collins, Michelle Goetzl, Flo Johnston, Ray Linville, Rhett Morris, Thad Mumau, Celia Rivenbark, Jonathan Scott, Rachel Stewart, Karen D. Sullivan, Kelley Vargo

Y Publisher Amy Natt | amyn@AgingOutreachServices.com Marketing & Public Relations Director Susan McKenzie | susanm@AgingOutreachServices.com Advertising Sales Executive Shawn Buring | shawnb@OutreachNC.com 910-690-1276 OutreachNC PO Box 2478 | 676 NW Broad Street Southern Pines, NC 28388 910-692-9609 Office | 910-695-0766 Fax info@OutreachNC.com PO Box 2019 | 101-A Brady Court Cary, NC 27512 919-909-2693 Office | 919-535-8719 Fax info@OutreachNC.com

www.OutreachNC.com OutreachNC is a publication of Aging Outreach Services, Inc. The entire contents of OutreachNC are copyrighted by Aging Outreach Services. Reproduction or use without permission of editorial, photographic or graphic content in any manner is prohibited. OutreachNC is published monthly on the first of each month.

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Our Aging Life CareTM Professionals will answer any aging questions you may have.

Email us your questions! info@OutreachNC.com


Utilize Tools to Develop Future Plan of Care by Amy Natt, MS, CMC, CSA My husband and I are very independent, but we want to start thinking ahead to our future. We’ve had friends end up in the hospital unexpectedly, and those experiences were overwhelming. What steps should we take now to prevent that from happening to us?

The best time to plan for your future care is before you have an identified need or medical crisis. While both of you are healthy and active, these conversations can be much easier. Putting a plan in place can give you both peace of mind as well as your loved ones. The best way to stay in control of your future care can begin with some basic documents that communicate both your and your husband’s individual wishes. There are so many things that can fall under this topic, so let’s focus on some good starting points. This is a process, so take one step at a time and keep working toward a plan that meets your needs. Planning care involves thinking about what you want, where you want it, when you want it, how you want it delivered and who you want to help ensure carries out your wishes. Once you make these decisions, work to gather all of the necessary information to pull your plan together, including: 1. Planning Guides. There are some great

planning guides available to start your conversation. One guide you may want to check out is at www.Prepareforcare.org. You can simply answer the questions online or print them out to work on over time.

2. Start the conversation. When you sit down

to have a conversation, take notes. Think about where you hope to be in one year, five years and 10 years. What happens if one of


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you becomes ill and needs more care during that time? Write down the things that would be the most important to you. 3. Consider end-of-life wishes. Think carefully

through end-of-life issues and planning. “Five Wishes” is a helpful document that can help you identify which questions are most important, and it is available online at: www.agingwithdignity.org/North-Carolina.

4. Write it down. Start to document important

information that a person might need if acting on your behalf. You can update this over time as things may change. Update it at least once a year or when a significant change occurs. You can view or print a free guide online at: www.agingoutreachservices.com/wp-content/ uploads/2013/10/Planning-Guide-web.pdf.

5. Take action. Schedule an appointment with

an attorney who specializes in elder law and estate planning. Do this now; you can always make changes down the road. What you invest in putting your Power of Attorney, Living Will and Last Will documents in place, will save you and your family in the long run.

6. Talk to a financial adviser or accountant.

Learn about the real costs of long-term care and what might be realistic in your situation. If finances are limited, you can begin looking

“ ” Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it now.

—Alan Lakein

at what funding may be available when you require more care. This can help guide your decisions and answers to question No. 2.

7. Ask a professional. If you are having trouble

getting yourself or your spouse to really sit down and take a realistic look at planning ahead, get an Aging Life Care Professional™ involved. You can locate a professional in all 50 states at www.AgingLifeCare.org, and they are trained to help you create an individualized plan to support your wants and needs.

Once you have started working through some of the above steps, other things may become evident that prompt further conversations. As a married couple, it becomes important to think about how these decisions might change if something were to happen to one of you. If you have adult children who may influence any of your future care decisions, you may want to pull them into the conversation at some point. The more you communicate, discuss, research and identify care options, the more you are empowered to make the best decisions to keep your specific needs at the center of the plan. Life is a journey, and even the best plan may not account for every situation. However, the conversations you have in developing the plan enable you to adapt as life happens and develop the support network you need along the way. Readers may send questions to Natt, an Aging Life CareTM Professional, certified senior advisor and CEO of Aging Outreach Services. She can be reached at amyn@agingoutreachservices.com.

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Coping with Adult Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder by Karen D. Sullivan, PhD, ABPP


ttention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (also known as attention-deficit disorder or ADHD) is a developmental disorder resulting from an imbalance of chemical messengers, or neurotransmitters, and inefficient connections between parts of the brain. It is estimated that 70 percent of individuals with ADHD in childhood continue to meet diagnostic criteria in adolescence and about 50 percent into adulthood. Adults with ADHD can have a great deal of difficulty in everyday life due to struggles with time management and disorganization. They often find it hard to focus on projects long enough to complete them successfully. While every person with ADHD is unique depending on their distinct characteristics, the three main subtypes are: • Inattentive Type: Symptoms include daydreaming, carelessness, trouble maintaining focus, becoming easily distracted, forgetfulness, spacing out during conversations, misplacing items, losing train of thought while reading, trouble completing tasks and becoming highly distracted when not interested. • Hyperactive-Impulsive Type: Symptoms include restlessness, excessive talking with frequent interrupting, low frustration tolerance, often “on the go” without finishing tasks in a thorough manner, frequently looking forward to the “next thing,” struggling to live “in the moment,” disregarding consequences of actions and sensation seeking. • Combined Type: A combination of the inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive symptoms. The majority of adults with ADHD are undiagnosed, with only one in four seeking evaluation and treatment. Attention difficulties happen for a variety of reasons. Difficulty focusing happens to all of us from time to time, particularly when we are highly stressed or stretched thin across too many responsibilities. Symptoms of ADHD are also found in other brain disorders, including dementia or mood disturbance


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(depression, anxiety, PTSD) and in medical conditions that affect the brain, including low blood sugar levels and untreated sleep apnea. ADHD cannot begin in adulthood. ADHD is considered a developmental disorder, because symptoms manifest in childhood or early adolescence. Research studies show that the age of onset must occur between the ages of 7 and 12 (earlier for boys, later for girls). If attention problems started after adolescence or in adulthood, it’s very likely not ADHD. ADHD symptoms change over one’s lifespan. As adults with ADHD age, they usually struggle more with organization and less with attention. By the time people with ADHD are in their 50s and 60s, they have frequently learned to manage symptoms of inattentiveness or hyperactivity reasonably well. When normal cognitive aging or another age-related condition occurs, the symptoms of ADHD can feel intensified. A diagnosis requires a comprehensive interview and cognitive testing. Separating ADHD from other issues is not straightforward and requires a professional trained in brain disorders. ADHD cannot reliably be diagnosed through Internet tests or brief questionnaires. Even if you have ADHD, it may not be the only issue. Having ADHD puts people at risk for other conditions, particularly depression, anxiety and substance abuse, especially if not properly evaluated and treated. There is often a realization that “something isn’t right.” A disconnect between everyday functioning and one’s genuine abilities can cause people to feel chronically unsatisfied and irritable.

Dr. Sullivan, a clinical neuropsychologist at Pinehurst Neuropsychology, can be reached at 910-420-8041 or www.pinehurstneuropsychology.com.

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Marinated Steak Salad with Blue Cheese Dressing by Rhett Morris | Photography by Diana Matthews

Marinade Ingredients ½ cup soy sauce 2 tablespoons honey 2 tablespoons spicy mustard ½ cup orange juice 1 clove garlic 1 tablespoon black pepper

Salad Ingredients

Dressing Ingredients

1 cup blue cheese crumbles ½ cup sour cream ½ cup mayo ½ cup buttermilk 2 tablespoons chives, finely chopped 1 tsp. black pepper

12-16 ounces of marinated sirloin or flank steak 4 cups greens of choice (spinach, iceberg or mixed greens) 1 ripe tomato, cut into wedges 1 cucumber, sliced


Mix marinade ingredients in bowl and whisk together. Put steak into plastic storage bag, add marinade and seal. Refrigerate overnight or at least 6 hours. Mix all dressing ingredients and whisk together. Set aside. Take steak out and pat dry. Cook to medium rare on grill or use cast iron skillet and cook on stove top. Let rest at least 5 minutes. Toss greens with half of the dressing, and put on plate. Add tomatoes and cucumbers. Slice steak, and place it in salad. Serve with remaining dressing.

Morris, owner of Rhett’s Restaurant, Personal Chef & Catering, is an award-winning chef, specializing in Southern gourmet fare with fresh ingredients. He can be reached at 910-695-3663 or rhett@rhettsrpcc.com.


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What Story Do Your Photos Tell? by Mike Collins


he photo in the album is one many of you would recognize: a chubby little boy, probably around 2 years old, wearing a cowboy hat and sitting on a pony. He has a cat-ate-the-canary grin that says, “I don’t know how I got up here, but this is great!” The little boy is me about six decades ago. In the 1950s, there were photographers who would come through neighborhoods with a pony and take pictures of kids for their parents. I’m betting you have or had a photo like it. A few years ago, my mother went through boxes, drawers, envelopes and bags of photos and put together photo albums for my brother and me. The photo story starts with baby shots—eat your heart out, Burt Reynolds, I look GREAT naked on a sofa! As time rolls on, and I get older, there’s a shot of my brother, a cousin, a neighbor and me at about 10 years old, in makeshift football uniforms. We’re wearing toy Army helmets, shoulder pads Mama made from cardboard and my father’s T-shirts as jerseys. Mama drew numbers on the shirts with a pen in those preSharpie days. Flipping the pages brings on elementary school and science projects (remember Alka-Seltzer volcanoes?); junior high school (let’s not talk about that); and all the expected high school shots of proms (four different girls, wonder where they all are now?), football, student government and graduation. There are a few photos I made with the Polaroid I just had to have my senior year. There are only a few photos of college years; I was away, and the fact that I flunked out of Carolina three times before getting serious and graduating. My father used to tell people I was in Chapel Hill for three terms: Nixon’s, Ford’s and Carter’s, which probably means there 16

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were fewer moments during those years they wanted to remember. They were too busy working to pay the tuition while I was partying. After that, there are shots of weddings—I’ve had two— wives, stepchildren, people who were in and then out of our lives, vacations, visits and some of the last shots of my dad before he passed away in 1994. The photo timeline ends about 20 years ago. Between the pace of life picking up, cell phone pictures instead of the real thing and less time together, the photos simply ... stop. Oh, there are lots of clips from newspapers, mementoes, a thank you note and birthday card here and there, but it’s as if life changed gears. The digital technology that exploded around then should remind us that George Orwell was right. As in his book, “1984,” you really can delete someone, and their life, with the touch of a finger. Looking through the album, I realize that 20 years ago my mother was about the same age I am now. Twenty years from now what will be left to show whatever family I might have what life was like? Opening a computer, tablet or cell phone and seeing a digital folder titled “Photos” is very different from opening a closet and having a box of pictures explode out and spread all over the floor. The pictures I’m seeing today bring on the feeling my stepson Joseph used to call, “happy-sad.” They also remind me that I have a history; both one to live up to and, in some cases, one to live down. But, that’s not bad, it’s life, and the photo album is a wonderful record. If Mama had not taken the time and made the effort, as she always did, my history would likely be in a landfill somewhere. What’s your history? And where is it?

©2016 Mike Collins.

Collins is the producer of the video, “Care for the Caregiver,” winner of a National Caregiver Friendly Award from Today’s Caregiver Magazine. For ways to deal with the craziness of caregiving, visit www.crazycaregiver.com.

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What’s With the ‘Tiny House’ Craze? by Celia Rivenbark


ill someone please explain the “tiny house” craze to me? Every time I see an article or a TV show about these “little dynamos,” I have to wonder if their passionate fans have never heard of a mobile home. While the tiny house folk squeal over their 200-square-foot home on wheels as the latest great thing, I just think of it as living in your car. Which might even be bigger. Back in the day, you could buy a 12-foot-wide two-bedroom, one-bathroom mobile home called the “Newport Pride.” It was $9,995. And it had a full kitchen and living room. Sure, it didn’t have the cedar siding, loft “bedroom” or nauseatingly cute gingerbread trim of the modern-day tiny house but, I repeat, you got a whole house for 10 grand. The new version is often more than $60,000 for 200-400 square feet. What the what? While I can appreciate the dewy-eyed millennials who think these tiny houses are environmentally smart, I don’t get the people my age who gush about them. Tiny houses are now being hard-targeted to retirees or soon-to-be retirees. This, my hons, is a recipe for disaster. Look, I’m still a few years away from retiring and sitting around with Duh Hubby wearing matching fishing hats with lures stuck all over them, but I can assure you that downsizing into a 300-square-foot “tiny dream home” for retirees is a terrible notion. I love Duh, but I don’t want him hovering above me in our cedar-planked loft all day looking down while I futz with the one-burner stove and try to, once again, transform our spice cabinet-slash-recycling bin into a dining table and bench seats.


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“A tiny house has minimal recurring expenses, which will reduce the amount of money a retiree needs to withdraw from their savings account,” boasted one magazine, which I’ll call “Really Dumb Ideas Monthly.” Yes, but what about all the additional mental health expenses? Hmmmmm? And the price is still wacky for these precious pods. Consider a tiny house for sale in Alaska. A whopping 192 square feet for $100,000, no kidding. The house does come with a water view (and perhaps Russia if you squint), but I’m imagining you’ll first need to remove the ironing board-slash-folding loft ladder before you contort your body in such a way as to enjoy it. Ack. My joints. And while we’re on the subject of wonky decorating trends, can someone please explain the appeal of the “open concept”? Everybody says they want just one big room so they can “see everyone and be together.” Ugh. Whatever happened to privacy? My house is nearly 100 years old and, mercifully, came complete with walls. This “closed concept” is fine with me because when I fry fish, I don’t want the smells soaking into the sofa cushions. Also, I don’t want an audience. Sometimes you really don’t need to see how the sausage is made.

Rivenbark is the author of seven humor collections. Visit her website at www.celiarivenbark.com. ©2016 Celia Rivenbark. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.

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Honoring Dads With Each Turn of the Page Book Reviews by Michelle Goetzl


n honor of Father’s Day, these are a few children’s books worth sharing that feature great dads. Ann Heinrichs put together a wealth of information in her book “Father’s Day.” Children can learn the interesting story of how a little girl came up with the idea to honor fathers in church in 1910. The idea spread, but did not become a national holiday until 1972. Another nonfiction title that easily grabs the attention of young readers is “The Emperor’s Egg,” by Martin Jenkins. This beautifully done picture book depicts the interesting twist in the childbirth process for emperor penguins. While the mother penguin lays the egg, it is the father’s responsibility to keep it warm for two months in the frigid arctic cold while the mom goes out to sea to replenish her nutritional reserves. Many of the books that feature fathers often feature animal fathers. In Peter Horn’s “The Best Father of All,” a young turtle tells his father how safe he feels when he is with him. Each page is a journey through the animal kingdom showing how fathers support, nurture and educate their children. Another book highlighting the mundane little things that really add up is “Every Friday,” by Dan Yaccarino. The story is of a little boy who loves Fridays, because it’s a family tradition that he and his father stroll to a corner diner to share a breakfast of pancakes.


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“Night Shift Daddy,” by Eileen Spinelli, focuses on the fact that fathers have all kinds of jobs to help support their families, but routines bond father and child. The sunny story of “Hero Dad,” by Melinda Hardin, opens with the words, “My dad is a superhero.” The reader soon learns that while the boy’s dad might not be Superman with a capital S, he is an American hero—a soldier. Finally, “Dad and Pop: An Ode to Fathers and Stepfathers,” by Kelly Bernett, is a great tribute to blended families. In this story, a young girl compares the two fathers in her life and comes to understand how both love her unconditionally. No matter what special father you want to celebrate this year and every day, there are a wealth of children’s books highlighting the relationship between parent and child. Goetzl writes an online blog—”Books My Kids Read.” She loves books and sharing that love of reading with children. She can be reached at booksmykidsread@gmail.com.



‘The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry’ and ‘A Touch of Splendor’ Book Reviews by Cos Barnes


loved reading Gabrielle Zevin’s “The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry.” One reason, I suppose, is that I love to haunt bookstores. I was immediately taken with the bookstore owner, A.J. Fikry is an unhappy widower whose business is failing, who drinks too much, lives on frozen dinners and loves books, not people. The plot develops quickly as Fikry has his most prized possession stolen, a rare collection of Edgar Allan Poe’s poetry, then is bequeathed a baby girl whom he adopts and teaches to read. Theirs is a wonderful pairing, and as fatherhood changes Fikry, more people come into the bookstore. A mass of intriguing characters, including the police chief, officers, a new wife for Fikry, a former sister-inlaw and other customers all come in and out. Fikry loves the authentic book and when his mother brings e-readers for Christmas, he is aghast; however, as much as they go against his grain, sickness makes him appreciate their handiness. My book club was solidly for this book.

Lila Hopkins, author of the memoir, “A Touch of Splendor,” covers the period between the years 1934-44 in Las Cruces, New Mexico, where her father was pastor of First Baptist Church. A poignant time in our history, Hopkins describes it as “when a devastating depression faced the country and a fearful war loomed.” Yet, her family provided unconditional love and the feeling of complete security as her parents, she and her three sisters and one brother settled into the neighborhood. It was a time without cell phones, televisions, microwaves or jet planes. Readers meet many interesting Las Cruces’ inhabitants: the doctor, the vet, the police chief, church youth group members, and Leonard, who helps her family with chores. They do the things children did then: roller skate, pick cotton, explore unchartered waters and learn by doing. Barnes has been writing for OutreachNC since the first publication in 2010 and currently participates in three book clubs. She can be reached at info@outreachnc.com.

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G E N T L E M A N ’ S N OT E B O O K

Let the Migration Begin by Ray Linville


he sounds of the surf call now like they do at no other time. June is the month for annual migrations to the beach for many families, particularly those of us who live in central North Carolina. The urge to travel until we find the ocean begins at least by Memorial Day weekend, if not earlier, and continues to build until we have felt salt spray and inhaled sea breezes. One of my favorite family pictures was taken when my granddaughter was not yet 2. I’m standing in the surf as rolling waves break at my ankles and holding her high above the rippling water. She listens but avoids looking down in case what is causing the sound is scary. We’re both staring off into the distance, not at any spot in particular, as the rhythms of the surf mesmerize us. The touch of sand under our feet is just as enticing unless the feeling is too new a sensation as it was initially for her brothers. Sand was the perfect barrier to keep them on a beach blanket. They refused to venture off when they were learning to crawl. The sand grains were too foreign a substance, and how they gave way under the boys’ feet and hands must have been frightening—that is, until a summer or two later, as toddlers, they were unbounded by anything, much less a little sand or water. Digging with hands into wet sand became a new hobby. The simplest designs were the most rewarding. Not even a toy shovel was necessary. Building a mound and guarding it with a moat to


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protect it from a growing high tide were great joys, only outdone by waiting for the mound to be washed away so that the project could begin all over again. The granddaughter is now on the threshold of her teenage years, and her brothers are not too far behind. Our annual migration to the beach to greet the arrival of summer is now a well-established tradition. Although the fascination with surf and sand grows stronger each year, the journey to the beach is now incomplete without a walk to the ice cream store, a trip to the arcade and a lunch at a favorite restaurant that has a sand volleyball court. To mark this time and place in our lives, I’ve acted like the typical grandparent and bought a “fish” with our family name on it for the boardwalk. A new tradition is to run to the fish and jump on it after we have bought our ice cream cones. With all our jumping, we’re now a family of frogs. So far that overpriced fish is holding up just fine from all the leaping and hopping. I hope that it lasts a long time and our memories of migrating to the beach last even longer. Retired from the N.C. Community College System, Linville is a contributing writer for the N.C. Folklife Institute and conducts programs on Southern food, history and culture. He can be reached at linville910@gmail.com.

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8 Tips to Achieve Your Summer Fitness Goals by Kelley Vargo


any of us are busy juggling work, family, maintaining our health and the rest of life. Most of us are probably goal-oriented people. However, sometimes managing everything can get tricky and time can slip away. What started out as great intentions for the start of summer can become afterthoughts if we don’t have a laserfocused approach to reaching our goals. Time management, however, is one of the best tools for setting yourself up for success. Consider these eight time management tips to help achieve your health and fitness goals:

1. Have a goal. Whether you want to lose weight

or change your eating habits, deciding what your goals are is an important step to managing your time and being successful. Write your goals down and place them somewhere where you can see them every day. This will help serve as a reminder when life gets hectic, and will help you stick to your goals when it may seem easier to skip them. 2. Create a timeline. I like to start from the finish line and work backwards. For example, let’s say your goal is to run, figure out how much time you will need to prepare. The same concept can be applied for other goals such as weight loss, gaining mass or even getting more sleep. Start at the end and figure out how much time you will need to reach your goal. 3. Figure out what you need to do. Write down exactly what you will need to do. If you want to lose weight, for example, you will likely engage in exercise, change your eating habits, drink enough water and get adequate sleep. Tackle each of these areas individually. Get super specific and write these things down. 4. Schedule your workouts. Keep your workouts, trips to the grocery store and other healthy “todos” in your calendar, just as you would your work meetings or doctor’s appointments. Set reminders on your calendar to help you stay on track. Even better, arrange to exercise with a friend, which will increase your commitment and keep you accountable. 24

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5. Plan your grocery trips. Create a list, and

schedule in time each week to go grocery shopping. By making a point of going to the grocery store and taking a list with you every week, you will save yourself time and guesswork, and reduce the temptation to fall off track with your eating habits. 6. Prepare your food in advance. Build in time to prepare your meals. This can be done a few times a week (say Sundays and Wednesdays) or every morning for the day. It is important to build it into your day to make it easier to stay on track and work toward your goals. 7. Take advantage of your “down” time. Take advantage of this time. What tasks have you been putting off? Use this time to get them done. If you are at work, take a walk. If the kids are asleep, get in a home workout. We can create the time, if we make our goals a priority. 8. Check in weekly. Once a week, take the time to evaluate your progress, your time and the plans for the upcoming week. This step is important as it will help keep you balanced and present. It allows you to shift things around and refocus for the next week.

Vargo is a Metabolic Effect Group Instructor, Certified Strength & Conditioning Specialist and ACE Lifestyle & Weight Management Consultant.

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BETTER WITH AGE SERIES by Jonathan Scott Photography by Diana Matthews

Yates Mill Circa 1763


f the 70 water-powered grist mills that used to operate in what is now Wake County, Yates Mill is not just the only one standing, it’s actually still in use. The mill and the Yates Millpond were for centuries a place the local community gathered to socialize and, of course, have their grain ground into flour. Today, thanks to the combined efforts and resources of Wake County, N.C. State University and the nonprofit Yates Mill Associates, people visit the 174-acre wildlife refuge and park for exercise, to enjoy the natural beauty and to learn history. CONTINUED PAGE 28


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This 1890s Yates Mill Photo was donated to the park by Joe Dautridge.


“I like to think of the mill as a survivor,” says Tim Lisk, park manager of Historic Yates Mill County Park, just south of Raleigh. “It’s been here since before there was a Raleigh.” A legend says that Union troops tried to burn down the mill as retribution for the murder of a Northern sympathizer. A charred log on display in the visitors center might be evidence of its truth. In 1996 Hurricane Fran tore through the structure. The mill barely survived, but it took nine years to be fully restored. Yates Mill now delights its 21st-century visitors and is likely to continue to be one of North Carolina’s finest examples of how things can get better with age. The park is located in Raleigh at 4620 Lake Wheeler Road. Yates Mill offers live, costumed exhibitions of the millstones grinding corn into meal one weekend a month through November. A modest fee is charged. For more information, call 919-856-6675 or visit www.wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill.


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long the side wall of Pittsboro’s S&T Soda Shoppe are cabinets stuffed with jars, bottles, cans and boxes of remedies, most dating from the early 20th century. They were once taken seriously and in the best of faith, even though it’s hard not to laugh at some of them now. “Loxol Pain Expeller,” whatever its other benefits, contained 100 proof alcohol—sure to expel pain if you drank enough. Someone born after the 1950s, or who had never been inside an old-time drug store, might wonder why Gene and Vicky Oldham, owners of S&T, chose that sort of charming décor for their restaurant. After all, the Haw River Mud Dessert, a fudge nut brownie smothered in ice cream, whipped cream and sprinkles, is not what the doctor usually orders. But there’s a real connection between the art of healing and the art of running central North Carolina’s premier vintage soda shop. Ancient Greek texts made several references to sacred wells. Some, if not all, of these were likely mineral springs that actually had reputations for containing healing waters. It wasn’t until the 19th century, when people devised a method of artificially creating carbonated water, that this mysterious liquid was made available to everyone. By the turn of the century, the drink was starting to make its way into drug stores via the taps of the newlyinvented soda fountain machine. Mixed with flavored syrup and served on ice, soda must have seemed like a darned pleasant health-food drink. CONTINUED PAGE 32 JUNE 2016 |

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Exactly a hundred years ago, when English immigrant George Pilkington wanted to expand his small Pittsboro pharmacy into a building across Hillsboro Street, he decided to follow the fashion of the day and include a soda fountain bar. It was a savvy business decision, one that helped his business run successfully until his death in 1944. By the time Gene Oldham was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin lymphoma in 1991, the days of the pharmacy soda shop were over. Fast food and drug store chains had run them out of business across America. Small towns were quickly becoming homogenized. Quaintness was dying, but Gene Oldham wasn’t. In his mid 40s, after a reprieve from his cancer diagnosis, Oldham had a new vision for his life. One evening, while attending one of his son’s ball games, he asked his wife, Vicky, to go with him to look at a property for sale on Hillsboro Street.

“He told me he wanted to re-open the old Pilkington Drug Store site as a soda shop,” Vicky says. “I was totally against it. The man had no experience at all in the restaurant business. I got mad at him.” Oldham wasn’t deterred. He scratched out a plan on the back of an envelope, just like in all the best success stories. Vicky studied it, considering her husband’s recent battle with cancer, and something touched her. “Gene fought for his life,” she says. “God got him through it. I realized I needed to stand behind him.” And, despite being made fun of by their friends, she did just that. They located some vintage soda fountain booths from the old Mecca Drug Store in Mebane and, with the help of craftsmen Ray and Arthur Bouldin, the dream eventually became a reality. “It took a lot of work,” Vicky remembers. “Gene would start sometimes at 4 a.m. on Saturdays. But when they were all done, it looked just like he had drawn it on that envelope.” CONTINUED PAGE 34


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Granddaughter AJ Oldham opts for a chocolate milkshake with sprinkles. S&T Soda Shoppe, located at 85 Hillsboro Street in downtown Pittsboro, right off the courthouse traffic circle and next to the Woodwright School of PBS’s Roy Underhill, serves casual fare, handdipped ice cream creations and soda fountain favorites Tuesday through Saturday, 11 a.m.-7:30 p.m. For more information, call 919-545-0007.

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TJ Oldham shares a cherry smash with his wife, Jenna, in one of the classic soda fountain booths, circa 1954, while long-time customer Maggie Richards enjoys a banana split.


The couple named the new business after their sons, Steve and TJ, then 15 and 10, respectively. It was especially appropriate. In October 1997, the boys were on hand for the official opening of Pittsboro’s S&T Soda Shoppe. They’ve worked there ever since and now virtually run the business. It’s rare now to find an authentic family business, rarer still to find a family so close, despite the stress of the recurrence of Gene’s battle for his health. TJ is now the master dessert maker. When he tops off a banana split with precisely the right daub of whipped cream, he works as if the treat were going in a museum rather than being demolished in a moment by a wide-eyed customer. Steve, who handles the savory section of the menu, was celebrated in a 2015 issue of Our State magazine as the chef who successfully re-created two of Chapel Hill’s most legendary meals, the steak and onion dish known as The Gambler, and the lasagna nicknamed “The Bowl of Cheese.” Both were prized staples at the now-defunct Ram’s Head Rathskeller. The S&T Soda Shoppe versions have been given the seal of 34

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authenticity by the old regulars who gratefully make the drive to Pittsboro to experience their favorites again. When the restaurant opens one morning, Steve is there with his 4-year-old daughter, AJ. While Steve makes arrangements with the ice cream vendor, AJ watches her Uncle TJ and the employees prepare for the day. They’re expecting a crowd for lunch. “We get people who come from all over,” TJ says. “Once we had a group from Wilmington who drove up just to eat here.” Meanwhile, a woman comes in, not to eat, but to inquire about the health of their father, Gene. “Gene’s very well-liked,” says another customer. It’s obvious that, although the old drug store paraphernalia is for nostalgia only, there’s still a healing power in the 100-year old establishment. There’s something about the vibes of the place. When it’s time for Steve to take his daughter home to Mom, TJ shouts to his niece, “I love you.” Old George Pilkington would be pleased to know that his former drug store is still helping to heal people. And love of family might be the source of that healing power.

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History Lives On at Mill Prong House by Flo Johnston | Photography by Katherine Clark


ome Southern families like to recount the story of how an ancestor buried family silver in the back yard before Gen. Sherman’s army came through during the Civil War. However, the McEachern family, who lived at the historic Mill Prong House in Hoke County at the time of the Civil War, has a different tale to tell. It happened in the spring of 1865 before Sherman and his devouring raiders swept through the Sandhills. The plucky family buried the family piano. It took a big hole, for sure, to accommodate the big, heavy rectangular instrument from the parlor with its hefty carved legs and keyboard. Unfortunately, the broken ground caught the eye of Sherman’s raiders, who crushed the top of the piano. The bottom was later recovered with the keyboard still intact. It’s now one of only three pieces of original furniture in the historic house that dates to 1795. Preservation enthusiasts, friends and familial descendants gathered at the site on a recent Sunday afternoon for the annual Open House to hear Dr. Bruce Durie, a genealogist from Scotland who is spending the semester at St. Andrews University in Laurinburg. The crowd shared a big punch bowl and a sideboard of tasty treats, some made from recipes found in notes and ledgers during the house’s restoration. John Gilchrist, an immigrant who came to the area in 1770 from the Highlands of Scotland, built the two-story house. A political, social and cultural leader in the area, Gilchrist served in the state legislature from 1793-1797 and amassed 3,000 acres of land before his death in 1802. Gilchrist’s two sons lived in the house for a time and then in 1834, it became the home of Col. Archibald McEachern, another prominent member of this large Scottish community. At the time of the Civil War, Mill Prong was the center of a 2,500-acre plantation with more than 40 slaves growing wheat, corn, rye, oats, peas, beans and potatoes. The house has been on the National Register of Historic Places since 1980 and its restoration by Mill Prong Preservation Inc., was completed in 1993. This is not a Mount Vernon or a Monticello, where a wealthy planter shows off his architectural prowess or his taste for fine furniture, but a stately home typical of a successful plantation owner at the time, constructed in the Federal style and remodeled in the 1830s in the Greek Revival style. Its historic significance, however, is not questioned. CONTINUED PAGE 39


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Mill Prong House, located at 3062 Edinburgh Road in Red Springs in Hoke County, is open to visitors the first Sunday of the month from 2-5 p.m. For more information, visit www.millpronghouse.com.


OutreachNC.com | JUNE 2016


In its nomination for the National Register, the house is said to have had strong and important associations with the settlement and development of the upper Cape Fear region by the Highland Scots, who established here the largest settlement of their group in the United States. Mill Prong is a unique survivor of that settlement, with no renovation or changes in its basic structure since the 1830s. The house has a double-story porch in front that is strongly Federal in design. The entrance is flanked by reeded pilasters. These porch columns are solid timbers with channels cut through them at the first-floor level so water will drain from the porch deck; thus they have lasted more than 200 years without replacement. Interior features include two massive downstairs mantels, each standing more than five feet tall, heavily detailed with reeding, quarter sunbursts and center blocks. They are painted with a blue-gray and crème coat and are considered significant examples of Federal style and colors. Visitors to the house may find it surprising that there is no interior stairway to the second floor. The original stairway was located in the parlor, but an exterior one from the rear porch to the second floor was part of the renovation in the 1830s. An exterior stair is not unique in houses of the period, however. The 1790 Vandeveer house at Bath in Beaufort County has a similar stair arrangement from its rear porch. Mill Prong has two chimneys that may have been the work of two different masons because they have a slightly different appearance. Both are made with light-colored handmade bricks in a Flemish bond pattern. Since the Scots settling the area came from Argyle, a second-floor Argyle room is set up with clan flags of families from the area. Anyone with a Scottish name is encouraged to sign his or her name under the clan name in the registers that are provided. The house also has a unique point of interest. It’s the “Peddler’s Room,” a shed room at back that has no access to the main house where travelers could stay the night. Mill Prong was a stagecoach stop at one time. The house is located on Edinburgh Road, off U.S. 401 between Raeford and Wagram. A brown state highway sign points the way from U.S. 401. This historic property is open to visitors from 2-5 p.m. the first Sunday of each month. For those who are wondering: Mill Prong got its name from the nearby stream, a tributary of Raft Swamp. McPhaul’s Mill was located downstream and the location of the house was the mill prong of Raft Swamp.

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Health Benefits

of preserving your

by Rachel Stewart

Personal History


hether you’re working on your memoir or love scrapbooking, taking time out to reflect on your life can have many positive effects on your health, including:


Improved cognitive skills, including problem solving. A study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association found that people who wrote memoirs were able to restructure their way of thinking about certain events or problems, which resulted in better health. So if you’re writing about a hardship you experienced, you may be able to see it in a brighter light than before and make peace with what transpired.


Decreased stress. Taking time for crafts, such as scrapbooking, allows you to lose yourself in an activity for a few hours. This can help relieve feelings of stress, anxiety or depression. Sometimes it’s hard to jump right in, so if you find you have a lot of pentup energy or emotions, try a form of crafting to give you focus. If you’re new to the hobby, try setting aside 30 minutes to an hour a couple of times a week and see how you feel afterward. You’ll most likely be penciling in more time on your calendar.


Higher self-esteem. Do you feel great when you finish a chapter of your memoir or add another page to your scrapbook? Finishing a crafty project can give you both a sense of control and accomplishment. Reflecting on your achievements and accomplishments can also bolster your self-worth and show how much you’ve done throughout the years.


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Stronger relationships or new friendships. While the bulk of writing and crafting is done alone, it’s always great to bounce ideas off other people. Joining a writing workshop or crafting group can allow you to interact with others and see things differently and build new friendships. Staying social can also help you stay healthy. A study launched by the Rush Alzheimer’s Disease Center found that older adults who were very social experienced a 70 percent lower rate of cognitive decline than those who kept to themselves.


Deeper sense of gratitude. Memoirs force people to examine both good and bad events in their past—and you could discover you have many reasons to be thankful—which can also be good for your health. According to a WebMD article, people who regularly practice the act of gratitude are more likely to take care of themselves and have better immune response than those who don’t count their blessings. If you have a hard time getting started, start by making a short list of people or events that made you a better person. JUNE 2016 |

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a Culture of Reading by Carrie Frye | Photography by Diana Matthews


ith vision, dedication and hands-on sweat equity, a leadership group repurposed wooden pallets recycled from their delivery of OutreachNC magazines and donated plywood from Southern Cupboards into bookcases. However, these are not normal bookcases, but instead Reading Rocket Libraries that can form a base to expand the horizons of young readers at Robbins Elementary. This group of professionals assembled as part of their participation in the Moore County Leadership Institute (MCLI), a yearlong program through the Moore County Chamber of Commerce in which participants meet one day monthly to learn more about programs, services and needs within the county and then divide into groups to complete a service project of their choosing. “Our group was chosen based on our personality test results, so each group would have a balance of the different personality traits such as introverts and extroverts,” explains Ashley Eder, administrative director of Aging Outreach Services. “Our project town, Robbins, was randomly drawn from three towns that were the most in need in our area: Robbins, Carthage and Aberdeen. We did have the freedom to choose an organization to help and set our project objectives. The goal of the program is to allow us to become involved in something we are passionate about and, in turn, make a difference in the community.” One of the group’s monthly meetings included a tour of Robbins Elementary with Principal Kim Bullard, and it left a lasting impression. “When visiting Robbins, there was an overall message that reading was the most important thing,” says group member Schuyler Shulman of Pinehurst Resort. Robbins Elementary School’s mascot is a rocket, so the idea for the Reading Rocket Libraries took flight with the premise that books would be readily available in all 29 homerooms and in the resource center for students and parents to take home, to return or keep if they wish, all in an effort to promote the value of reading. “It’s all about literacy,” says group member Laura Zink of Penick Village. “Coming from being a stay-at-home mom to my current position while working with this group and learning the community need, this is an ongoing and lasting project that allows us to get books directly into classrooms and the school resource center where they can benefit students and parents.” CONTINUED PAGE 45


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The MCLI group thanks its donors: Aging Outreach Services; BB&T, The Country Bookshop, Usborne and Genevieve Erwin, Johnny O’s Awards, Kiwanis Club of the Sandhills, OutreachNC magazine, The Paige Turners Book Club, Penick Village, Pinehurst Parks and Recreation, Southern Cupboards/Justin Lynch, Star 102.5 and Village Yoga.


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The MCLI group is still collecting children’s books (kindergarten through 5th grade) for the Reading Rocket Libraries. Books can be donated directly to Robbins Elementary, located at 268 Rushwood Road, Robbins or dropped off at Aging Outreach Services, located at 676 NW Broad Street, Southern Pines. For more information, contact Ashley Eder at 910-692-0683.


With their project under way and a plan in motion, the MCLI group gathered on a Sunday afternoon at Southern Cupboards, a custom cabinet shop in Aberdeen owned by Eder’s husband, Justin Lynch. Lynch supplied plywood, building materials, tools and his carpentry skills to guide the group through building the bookcases. With hammers, screwdrivers and paintbrushes in hand, their labor turned something ordinary into something extraordinary. “It all starts with a solid education,” says group member Melissa Holt, a mortgage loan officer with BB&T in Pinehurst. “This project will get the children started. To see children get excited about reading and go beyond that to use their imagination is quite rewarding, and efforts like this can let them know they are capable of accomplishing anything.” That determination to make this project a success also required a book drive. Members collected books for adults and for children, kindergarten through fifth grade, from their friends, family, co-workers and the kindness of strangers. More than 1,300 books now fill the newly built bookshelves. “We hope that students and their parents will embrace this free library,” says Shulman, “and that it can continue to grow and inspire.” “For me, I was naturally drawn to the project since my wife is a primary school principal,” adds

group member Mark Wagner, director of parks and recreation of the Village of Pinehurst. “I understand the need and know the educational challenges firsthand, and I am so glad we chose Robbins Elementary.” The group presented the Reading Rocket Libraries to Principal Bullard and her students last month. The gift launched smiles and tears, and its impact can only be measured in the soaring imaginations of students. “The key is sustainability,” Wagner says. “We need to make sure we keep collecting books and replenishing the Reading Rocket Libraries’ shelves.” And so, this particular MCLI group project rockets through the end of 2016 officially. Its’ no doubt their dedication may go well past that in their inspiration to others to reach out to their local schools and in the smiles of the children and parents, who visit the Rocket Reading Libraries, take home a book and widen their vocabulary and their dreams of bright futures. “We would love for the community to become involved and contribute books not only to our project but to every local school to allow students and their parents to take as many books home with them as they choose to help promote a culture of reading,” Eder says. “Ideally, every home should have a small library.” Editor’s note: This story was inspired by Ashley Eder, a co-worker and friend, whose continual efforts of giving, grace and gratitude inspire this editor every day.

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The Beauty of Memoirs: Telling Your Tale


veryone has a story. Isn’t it time to tell yours? Despite social media, so much of our personal history remains verbal, with tales handed down from generation to generation about this family member or event. Other times, people may tell you to write your stories down, they are humorous, inspiring or sad. While your audience can learn from your experiences, it’s actually the self-reflection that could help you the most as you begin preserving what’s come to pass.

A Desire to Understand and Honor the Past—and Heal Slowing down and focusing on both the good and bad events of your life can have a major effect on your emotional well-being. Maybe there’s something that happened you were never able to ask forgiveness for—or you never told someone how you felt. By laying these emotions bare, you can catalogue your past and make peace with it. Parts of the memoir-writing process could be uncomfortable and bring up bad memories or emotions. Other times, writing could bring you both laughter and joy. Prepare to delve deep into your heart.

But ... What If I’m Not a Writer? While having a background in writing can be helpful, some of the world’s most famous writers came from entirely different educational backgrounds, including Danielle Steel, J.K. Rowling and Kurt Vonnegut. The most important thing is you want to express yourself or remember things that were important to you over the course of your life. You get to pick how you record your story—whether you scribble it down by hand in a beautiful journal or type away on a laptop by an open window. You can share it with others or keep the log just for yourself. This is about your journey—no one else’s.

Tricks of the Trade • Just starting on your memoir? Focus on one or two events that changed your life. Sometimes

it’s easier to start with a vivid memory or event that impacted you instead of starting at the very beginning. Sketching your thoughts out in a brief, essay-like form will allow you to develop your voice as you write.


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• Need feedback? Find a local writing

workshop class or group. The best way to know if you’re on the right track is to let others read what you’ve written so far. Other writers can pinpoint areas of your memoir that need more detail or clarification. They can also cut away or move details that slow the pacing of your story. If you’re passionate about the written word, find out more about writers’ conferences in North Carolina at www.ncwriters.org.

• Consider your audience when crafting your story. Are you writing just for

yourself? Is your memoir something you want to share with others? Could what you’re writing hurt or embarrass others if it was published? While expressing your inner truth is important, you need to consider the emotional impact--both good and bad--your words could have on family members, friends, or other loved ones.

• Write a little bit every day. The

world’s greatest writers practice their craft every day. Begin the day with a free write or by adding on to what you’ve been writing. Check out Poets & Writers at pw.org for writing prompts that could spark a new idea.

• Stuck? Let ideas linger in between writing

sessions. Sometimes the best thing you can do when you’re having trouble writing a passage is to get up, stretch, and do something completely different. Take a short break, or put your writing away for a day or two before coming back to edit it or add more.

ng can The act of writi gnitive also improve co hance function and en ially if memory—espec y hand. you’re writing b paper Keep a pen and your e handy—and giv brain a boost!

Six Memoirs To Read Before You Write Your Own These days, it seems like everyone’s written a memoir. Here are a few - ranging from classics to ones fresh off the press - to inspire your own. 1. “Angela’s Ashes” by Frank McCourt.

Winner of the Pulitzer Prize, McCourt’s memoir focuses on his poor childhood in Ireland. A powerful look at poverty, alcoholism, loss, and religion, “Angela’s Ashes” is a modern coming-of-age story. 2. “Walden” by Henry David Thoreau.

One of the most famous writers from the transcendentalism period, Thoreau’s book famously looks back at the time he went into the woods “to live deliberately.” Using the seasons to show both the passage of time and emotional growth into a more self-sufficient individual, the memoir condenses Thoreau’s actual two years at the cabin at Walden Pond into a literary year. 3. “Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail” by Cheryl Strayed. Recently made into a film starring

Reese Witherspoon, this novel follows Strayed across 1,000 miles of the Pacific Crest Trail, where she comes to terms with the death of her mother.

4. “Moments of Being” by Virginia Woolf. Woolf ’s

articulate use of stream-ofconsciousness shines through in this collection of essays published after her death. Many of the essays focus on her childhood, while others were written as a writing exercise for a memoir club.

5. “Lying: A Metaphorical Memoir” by Lauren Slater. This

poetic memoir focuses on how lies can sometimes explain the truth in a deeper way than plain facts. Slater uses epilepsy as a metaphor for depression and other emotional issues. She looks back at her strained relationship with her mother as a child and during bouts of illnesses and unexplained seizures, weaving into her present where she finds love, as well as a possible cure for her illness.

6. “On Writing” by Stephen King. Focusing on both his

craft and career as a writer, King’s memoir is the perfect starting place for those who wish to learn more about writing and how it can both inform and move readers.

JUNE 2016 |

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Carolina Conversations with N.C. Sports Hall of Famer A N TA W N J A M I S O N by Thad Mumau | Photography by Diana Matthews


ormer University of North Carolina and NBA star Antawn Jamison is one of nine new members of the North Carolina Sports Hall of Fame. He joins Rod Brind’Amour, Eric “Sleepy” Floyd, David Fox, James “Rabbit” Fulghum, Haywood Jeffires, Freddy Johnson, Susan Yow and the late Ray Price. Jamison averaged 19 points and 9.9 rebounds per game over his three-year career at UNC. He won both the Naismith and Wooden awards as the National College Player of the Year in 1998. That same year, he was the Atlantic Coast Conference Player of the Year as well as a consensus first-team All-American, averaging 22.2 points and 10.5 rebounds. His jersey No. 33 has been retired by the Tar Heels and hangs from the rafters of the Dean E. Smith Center. Jamison played 16 years in the National Basketball Association, averaging 18.5 points and 7.5 rebounds. He was the NBA Sixth Man of the Year in 2004. He averaged over 20 points per game six seasons as a pro and twice scored 51 points in a single game. Jamison currently lives in Charlotte and serves as a TV analyst for some of the games played by the Los Angeles Lakers and Washington Wizards.


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ONC: Tell the story behind your first name.

AJ: (laughing) Yeah, I get asked that a lot. This is a true story, and it’s kind of funny. I was born in Louisiana, and my mother named me Antwan. At least, that was her intention. But, somehow, they got it wrong on the birth certificate, switching the W and the A. So it’s spelled A-N-T-A-W-N, but pronounced Antwan. My mom never thought I’d be playing pro basketball or anything that would get my name said so often. Some people mispronounce it—AntAWn, some are afraid to say it because they think they will say it wrong and many just go ahead and say Antwan, thinking that’s the way it’s supposed to be. Our son is named after me, but we spell it A-N-T-WA-N. Don’t want him to go through the same confusion. You grew up in Charlotte, right?

Yep, and I’m back living there now. My whole family ... my wife, Ashley, and I have four children: daughters Alexis, 15, and Kathryn, 10, and sons Antwan Jr., 9, and Rucker, 6. My mom and dad live about eight minutes away, and my brother and sister are within a few miles of our house. We are a very close family, and I like that we live close to one another. Was basketball something you were always good at and felt might take you somewhere?

When I was in high school, I was taller than everybody else. And, then, I was blessed with some athletic ability. I was usually quicker than most other players, and that would be a gift that would carry me a long way. But I didn’t grow up thinking NBA. In fact, I was on up in my high school years when I even thought I might have a chance to play college basketball. And it was like a dream when that happened. The decision—and colleges from all over the country were recruiting you—to attend the University of North Carolina was very important, wasn’t it?

Oh, without a doubt. The main reason I chose Carolina was Dean Smith, and he is the main reason the decision was such a good one. That man has meant so much to me. Following an outstanding sophomore season at UNC, many people thought you would leave school early for the NBA. Why did you stay?

Two reasons: again Coach Smith was one of them, and the second was that I wanted to help win a national championship. I thought we had the team to do it. Yes, some people said I was crazy not to turn pro. People who follow the ACC, and particularly Carolina, know that Dean Smith always did extensive research on how his players would project in the NBA Draft. He told me he felt I would be picked much higher if I would wait a year. So that is what I did. CONTINUED PAGE 50

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And, then, as a junior, you were named the National College Player of the Year. Wow! What an honor.

Wow is kind of what I thought, too ... what I still think when that is mentioned. I was overwhelmed. Being Player of the Year was not even on my radar. To tell you truth, I still can’t believe it.

That was a pretty big season, with Carolina reaching the Final Four. But again, the Tar Heels came up short. And that time, you did leave early.

Yes. Once more, though, I really was thinking of coming back for my senior year because I thought we could win it all. Surprisingly —to many people but not to anyone who knew Dean Smith—my coach talked me out of it. Out of returning to school?

Yes. He had done all that checking around ... Coach Smith knew everyone in basketball, and he made calls to a lot of those people. He had all the facts, and he put them out there to me. He told me, based on what he had been told, that I could be chosen as high as fourth in the NBA Draft. He also reminded me that winning a national championship required that many things go right. He mentioned that I could get hurt and lose a whole lot of money by not going ahead to the pros. He pointed out that we attend college to better ourselves, and that by signing a professional contract, I would be doing that. Coach Smith said, “I would love to have you playing for Carolina next


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season, but I would be wrong to tell you that would be the best thing for you personally.” So you entered the NBA Draft?

And was the fourth pick, just like Coach Smith had said I was likely to be. Dean Smith was very special to you in many ways, wasn’t he?

He was my white dad. Now, I love my own dad, and I have learned so much from him. Coach Smith changed my whole life. It had been all about basketball. He showed me it really wasn’t, that it was about family and other people – doing something to help others. He changed my entire thought process. He was honest, he was genuine. He was always supporting each player, each individual, and what was best for him. He even stayed in touch with ALL of his players, long after we had played for him. Listen, Dean Smith cared much, much more about the kind of men we all became than he did about winning a game or a championship. He guided me and put me in the right frame of mind to be a good person. Coach Smith taught me to be humble. One thing I remember is that he had a Thought of the Day he shared with us every day after practice, and only about one out of 10 of those was about basketball. They were more about being a good person. Coach Smith had so much of an impact on me. CONTINUED PAGE 52

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Dean Smith made playing basketball at Carolina a family thing. All of you guys love that, don’t you?

Oh, yeah. And, believe me, it isn’t that way anywhere else. We go back to Chapel Hill every summer and get together. No matter where I’ve been, when I get on 15-501 heading down to the Smith Center, and then see that dome with the Carolina blue everywhere, I know I’m home again. Every time I walk on that floor, it takes me back. Is there one game you played that you remember most?

My favorite is from my junior season. I scored 35 points in a win over Duke, and I had the ball in my hands only 40-something seconds the whole game. That blew my mind, to have a dominant-type game without dominating the basketball. (In that game, second-ranked Carolina defeated nationally top-ranked Duke, 97-73.) You had a great NBA career. Now that your playing days are over, what is it like?

I never dreamed I would have the success in the pros that I had. I was blessed with God-given talent, and I used it. I was also blessed to be coached by Dean Smith, and he is the reason I was prepared for the NBA. I had been doing this – playing basketball – since middle school, and I thought not playing would be difficult. But it hasn’t been. For me, it’s so great being around my family so much. I do commentary for some of the Lakers’ and Wizards’ games, so I’m still around the game … enough, but not too much. Being inducted into the North Carolina Sports Hall of Fame is such a terrific honor. How does that make you feel?

Man, when they told me about this, you cannot imagine how exciting it was for me. To be raised up in this state and see all of the great athletes whose names are in the Hall of Fame, and now to have my name up there with theirs ... I haven’t stopped smiling.


OutreachNC.com | JUNE 2016

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“ ” I consider myself a fourth-generation cowboy.

—Tim Marsh


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ld West Hobby Spurs Circle M City by Carrie Frye | Photography by Diana Matthews


ainted horses roam a pasture as the sun begins to set for its twilight hour creating the perfect backdrop for Circle M City, a hidden gem off Center Church Road in Sanford. This wild Western town is carved into the landscape under towering trees on four acres of Tim Marsh’s picturesque 55-acre farm in western Lee County. Upon arrival, it is an immediate transport to yesteryear 1863. Circle M City is Marsh’s 18-year hobby turned into a venue business, although that was not his original vision. “When I built the town, I didn’t have any idea that it would turn into this,” explains Marsh, a retired electrical engineer. “It’s a work in progress still, and every time someone comes out, there’s something new to see.” The town began when Marsh’s affection for cowboys, Indians and the wild West turned into constructing the first building from reclaimed wood in his spare time. “Ninety-nine percent of what you see I built,” he says. “I thought it might be a good venue for birthday parties, and one building quickly turned into another, a jail, then a livery, saloon and general store. Then, I thought it would be a good place for a Christian drama, so I needed a church.” Marsh and his wife, Michelle, were the first couple married in the town’s Comers Chapel, 11 years ago. “From the church to all of this,” says Marsh, pointing out the rest of the town, “I don’t know how it all came together. Some of it was for needing a larger building to accommodate bigger groups and weddings, and then we needed a separate area for brides. Then, when it rained, the town was muddy, so we hauled in tons of gravel. There’s always a project and maintenance.” With his vision, Marsh created a town true to the Code of the West, as if it was always here and merely uncovered. Circle M City comes to life as Marsh takes on his role of Sheriff Tim, and Michelle becomes a character named Crazy Kate from Elkin. “Michelle was just a natural, and she’s a great asset to the program and the town,” Marsh says. “She’s a great singer, too. She carries a stuffed beaver and opossum while she sings the folk song, ‘Five Pounds of Possum.’” CONTINUED PAGE 56

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An entire room inside the rustic building is dedicated to period costumes for visitors to try on for fun or photos. Hitching posts made from hand-hewn tree trunks adorn the building fronts. Every building is named: Big Springs Cattlemen’s Association, Reynolds Feed Supply, McPherson Mercantile, Royal Fur Trade and more. Wagon wheels, a stagecoach, a 100-year-old printing press, turnof-the-century tools, a saddle from the 1800s, an old chuckwagon, horseshoes and more are among the myriad of old West items that make up Marsh’s collection. “Over the years, I have found things at yard sales, auctions, been given things or inherited them from family,” he says. “The older it looks, the better.” From beginning the building process to the final touches of décor, Marsh has a clear vision for each addition to the town. The jail has steel bars and two accommodating cots. The saloon boasts a handcrafted wooden bar, wall-mounted roulette wheel and a “Please Use Spittoon” sign. The church is equipped with pews, piano and wooden cross. The opera house provides bench seating and stage. “I can see the end as soon as I start building,” he says. “I like every building and every room in a different way, so they’re all my favorites.” One of those favorites is the museum housed inside the Dixie Dance Hall, which was constructed from wood from an old chicken barn and tobacco barn. Glass cases lining two walls display framed photographs of notable cowboys, including Bill Pickett, the AfricanAmerican cowboy and Western legend notorious for riding wild broncos and bulls, as well as brothers Bud and Temple Abernathy, young Oklahoma cowboys who made cross-country treks at the ages of 6 and 10, and sharpshooter Annie Oakley, to name a few. Sheriff Tim, too, has plenty of aces up his sleeve by entertaining town-goers with trick roping and gun spinning. “It’s authentic,” Marsh says. “It doesn’t seem to matter what age or status people are, everybody likes it.” It would also not be an authentic Western town without some Americana bluegrass and gospel music beckoning from the Dixie Dance Hall. Circle M City opens its doors to the public every Monday and Thursday night. Mondays at 7 p.m., offer a live music jam session with pickers, players and singers, and Thursdays at 7 p.m., are for the Cowboy Gospel Hour featuring a different nondenominational speaker and hymn singing. “We love to welcome people to the town,” Marsh says, “to come here and get away from their problems for a little while.” Groups of all kinds from the young to the young at heart come for everything from tours to family reunions to take in a bit of the wild West and some of Sheriff Tim’s antics. “You are never too old to have fun,” Marsh says, “and I would be lost without this town. You have to be inspired because it’s a lot of long hours, and it takes a toll, but we plan to sit back and enjoy it.” 56

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Want to go? Circle M City, located at 74 Cowboy Lane in Sanford, welcomes visitors every Monday at 7 p.m. for a live music jam session and Thursday at 7 p.m. for its Cowboy Gospel Hour. For more information on scheduling tours and events, visit www.circlemcity.com or call 919-499-8493.

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Remembering Dear Old Dad

by Thad Mumau Photography by Diana Matthews


ather’s Day is upon us. but for two Fayetteville women, it’s an everyday holiday. That’s because hardly a day goes by that Noel Vossler Harris and Gail Riddle Reid don’t think of their dads and what special men they were to them. Although both men passed away several years ago, they remain very much alive in their daughters’ hearts. Sweet memories abound, etched indelibly by everyday examples of how to live productive and joyful lives.


eorge Vossler was a businessman, the co-owner of Corder-Vossler Company, where it seemed almost everyone in Fayetteville went for tires in the 1950s and ’60s. A former All-American football player at Miami of Ohio, Vossler was an effervescent man who loved people. He was the life of a party, reciting poems, telling jokes, and sitting down at a piano to play and sing. “It wasn’t just at parties,” Harris says (pictured at top right). “Dad was that way all the time. We were always singing around the house. Out of the blue, he would sit down at that piano and start playing. And we would join him. Mom, my sister Barbara and me. We loved it. “Everything we did was as a family. Dad saw to that. I don’t remember his taking just me with him. Or just my sister. We were both daddy’s girls, but I think Barbara was his favorite. Probably because she was more interested in sports, and I really didn’t like them much.” Vossler was extremely outgoing and loved to talk. He was involved in the community at several levels, giving generously of his time and personality. “Dad was big in local radio,” Harris recalls, “broadcasting high school sports and some other things. One time right before Christmas, I was sitting on the sofa listening to the radio with my parents, and Santa Claus came on. “I said, ‘That’s Daddy!’ Mother said that couldn’t be, because he’s sitting right here. I said, ‘That sounds like my daddy.’ I don’t know how many years later it was that I found out the station had recorded Dad being Santa. “Dad was very active in church, the Kiwanis Club—helping to get Key Clubs started at local high schools—and officiating high school ballgames.” Harris says her dad was not strict, but that he did like to make her dates sweat a little. “A boy would come to pick me up, and Dad would walk out to his car and say, ‘I want to check the tires. If they’re not good, I’m not going to let my daughter go.’ So he’d walk around and kick the tires. He would stand there and not say anything for a minute. It would scare the guy. Then Dad would say, ‘Just kidding.’ “Sometimes Barbara or I would say, ‘Dad, you’ve already done that tire thing with this boy.’ And he’d walk out there and do it anyway. He had a lot of fun with that.” Vossler could do no wrong when it came to his daughter. “I was always so proud of him,” Harris says, smiling. “He was my hero and Barbara’s, too. He was it!”


arold Riddle built houses for a living. What he really liked to do, though, was help people without anyone finding out about it. It might be with a mortgage payment for a family in despair or by sending some of his workers to make repairs on a house. “My dad was a man of few words,” Reid says (pictured bottom right). “He had a hard time expressing himself, but he showed what kind of person he was with the things that he did. I was never aware of how much he did for people until I heard some of the stories after he died. Which is just the way he wanted it.


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“He had a very giving spirit. When I was first married, we would wake up, and Dad would be in the back yard. He was telling us things that needed doing, and he didn’t rest easy until they were done.” Of four children, Reid is the only girl. She and younger brother Jeff, who is deceased, shared a rare rapport with their father. “Dad talked to us about serious things,” she says. “I think Jeff and I were more like him. “I was a big-time daddy’s girl. Dad called me Sweetie. I remember when I was taking driver’s education that he was very anxious. And he did not like cruise control. When he bought me a car for a college graduation present, it didn’t have cruise control.” In 1996, Reid donated one of her kidneys to Jeff. “My dad was so worried about both of us,” she recalls. “It was difficult for him because he had no control. With so many things, he would find a way to make it better. “He always saw to it that our family had what we needed. Dad didn’t go around buying a lot of gifts. But there was this charm he gave me a short time before he died. It was an angel, and on the back were the words ‘Love, Dad.’ “A month after he gave it to me,” Reid says, “I lost it while I was visiting him at the hospital. When I got home, I realized I didn’t have it, and I was frantic. There were at least 30 charms on that bracelet, but the only one I was thinking about was the angel my dad had given me. “I went to the desk at the hospital, and there it was. That was 18 years ago, and I seldom wear the bracelet because I’m afraid I will lose it. “The thing about my dad,” Reid says, “is that he showed me and my brothers how to live. He didn’t give speeches. He gave examples. He represented what a dad should be. “He represented the kind of person we all should be.” JUNE 2016 |

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GREY MATTER See Grey Matter Puzzle Answers on Page 62





























Intelligence Stays Ireland





















33. Knocked off, in a way 34. Clear, as a disk 36. Boxer’s stat 39. “___ Maria” 40. Cantankerous 41. American symbol 42. Caddie’s bagful 44. Athletic supporter? 45. Dust catcher (2 wds) 49. Go after, in a way 50. “___ any drop to drink”: Coleridge 51. Inequality 58. Band member 59. A Judd 60. Amorphous mass 62. “Beowulf,” e.g. 63. British ___ 64. Breezy 65. Home, informally 66. Agreeing (with) 67. “The ___ Ranger”


1. Babysitter’s handful 2. Be itinerant 3. Doing nothing 4. Pliable plastic explosive 5. Public uproars 6. “By yesterday!” 15. Bar order, with “the” 20. Church of England ACROSS 7. Clash of archbishops 1. Western blue flag, e.g. 16. Part of BYO 17. Oil source 23. Ring bearer, maybe heavyweights 5. Abstinences from 8. Detective, at times 18. Asian shrub yielding 24. Beauty food flaxlike fiber 25. Semiquaver (2 wds) 9. Santa’s rig 10. ___ gin fizz 19. Caution 32. Electrical unit 10. Buttonwood 14. Fashion


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11. Advance 12. “One of ___” (Willa Cather novel) 13. “... ___ he drove out of sight” 21. Backstabber 22. Article of faith 25. Bundle 26. Candidate’s concern 27. Carry away, in a way 28. “Well, I ___!” 29. Like some jackets, fabric 30. Spoonful, say 31. Banana oil, e.g. 32. Bauxite, e.g. 35. Artist’s asset 37. One who shows impressive excellence 38. In a lather (2 wds) 43. Break of dawn 46. Rupture 47. Boozehound 48. ___ customs 51. Copy 52. Bird venerated by ancient Egyptians 53. Brewer’s equipment 54. Game on horseback 55. Black cat, maybe 56. Assortment 57. Norse goddess of fate 58. Big ___ Conference 61. “Ciao!”

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Fort Bragg Ready to Play Ball by Thad Mumau


big thing is taking place July 3 at Fort Bragg. A major league baseball game will be played there, a Sunday night game televised by ESPN. It is not an exhibition contest, but an official National League game that counts in the standings. The Atlanta Braves will be taking on the Miami Marlins in a battle of NL East Division rivals that is part of a three-game weekend series. The first two games will be played at Atlanta’s Turner Field, with the final contest at Fort Bragg. The Braves will be the home team. The game was intentionally planned to tie in with Independence Day Weekend as America celebrates its 240th birthday. A flyover by the 82nd Combat Aviation Brigade will highlight pre-game festivities. In making the announcement of the historic game back in March, Major League Baseball Commissioner Rob Manfred said, “Major League Baseball’s boundless gratitude to our military has led us to a unique event that will benefit the men and women of Fort Bragg and their families for many years.” Although the mere playing of the game is momentous, where it will be played is equally




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noteworthy. Major League Baseball is constructing a stadium at Fort Bragg. Not just a ball field, a ballpark with a manicured infield and carpet-like outfield with a seating capacity of 12,500, which is more than the three Triple-A baseball stadiums in North Carolina (Durham, Zubulon and Charlotte). And it gets better. Because, after the game, MLB is handing over the stadium to the United States Army, specifically to the Fort Bragg base, to be used by the men and women of the military and their families. It will be converted to a multipurpose facility that will include softball fields and will provide additional opportunities. “It will stand as a fitting new chapter in the national pastime’s proud and distinguished military history,” Manfred said. A generous gesture, to be sure, and one that lays the groundwork for possible future games at Fort Bragg. The July 3 game will be the first professional contest of any sport to be played at a military installation. It would stand to reason that MLB would consider doing it again, and though no announcement has been made, Bragg would be a logical choice since a stadium will already be in place there.



Fayetteville and Fort Bragg are part of what is known as Braves Country, a point recognized by team president John Schuerholz. “The Atlanta Braves organization is extremely honored to be chosen to play in the Fort Bragg Game and to entertain some of our nation’s patriot men and women,” he said. “It is special for our fans and our entire organization that we are playing this game in Braves Country.” The ballpark is being built near Pope Field, on the former Willow Lakes golf course, which closed in 2009. More than 12,500 people are expected to attend, with most of the tickets going to Fort Bragg troops and their families,. The following quotes from members of the Miami and Atlanta teams are compliments of Major League Baseball. “This is an honor,” said Braves catcher A.J. Pierzynski, “especially to go to an active base in front of the troops. Those guys are the real heroes with what they do to protect us and our way of life every day. It will be pretty amazing.” Marlins outfielder Christian Yelich has a brother, Cameron, who has been stationed in Japan as a member of the U.S. Marine Corps, so the Fort Bragg Game, as it has come to be called, has special meaning for him. “I appreciate the troops and everything they do for us,” Yelich said, “especially having a service member in my family. It will be extra special for me to be out there. We owe those guys a lot.” Upon learning that his team would be playing in the historic game at Bragg, Miami pitcher and player

representative Tom Koehler was asked to gauge his teammates’ reaction. “I texted a bunch of the guys,” he said, “and everybody was super excited. It’s something that’s never been done. To be able to take the national pastime and honor our servicemen and women … I think it’s going to be an absolutely incredible experience. “We’re going to put the spotlight on those men and women,” Koehler said. “We’re going to be playing, but the whole purpose of this is to shed some light on everything they do and kind of honor them.” “There are a lot of heroes there,” Marlins manager Don Mattingly said. “Some have paid a heavy price. It’s just good to go and honor them and play there.” The Fort Bragg Game is the latest venture for MLB and its players to show support and respect for the people who serve in the U.S. military, which includes many former Major League players who sacrificed for their country. Since 2008, MLB has supported, “Welcome Back Veterans,” an initiative that addresses the mental health and jobs needs of returning American veterans and has committed more than $30 million to those efforts. In addition, many players contribute to militarysupport organizations as individuals and collectively through the Players Trust. Mumau has been a writer for more than 48 years, covering some of the sports greats, including Michael Jordan, John Wooden, Jack Nicklaus and Dean Smith. He can be reached at rutabega12@aol.com.



www.AberdeenTimes.com JUNE 2016 |

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Serving Scotland, Richmond, Robeson & Hoke counties in NC; Marlboro, Dillon & Chesterfield counties in SC


910.276.7176 | 877.276.7176 www.ScotlandHospice.org



Experience FirstHealth Quality

No one should go broke from Nursing Home costs! From Pre-planning to Crisis Planning—I can help! Call for a no-cost consultation.

Beth Donner, CRPC Retirement Planning Counselor






a full range of primary care for men and women ages 60 and older. Our physicians have special training in treating seniors and employ the most current information, treatments, medications and practices for disease prevention and diagnosis.

(910) 615-1630



NEUROPSYCHOLOGY Memory Clinic Karen Sullivan, Ph.D. ABPP 45 Aviemore Drive Pinehurst, NC | 910.420.8041 www.PinehurstNeuropsychology.com


Let Rhett’s do the cooking for you! a




A nonprofit dedicated to tC o an W E Do T serving Direct Care Needs and supporting Programs and Events to benefit those affected by dementia in Moore County.

Takeout Prepared Meals | Personal Chef Dinners

For more information, contact: 910.585.6757 | info@aosfcare.org




For Menu Options Call Today!


132 W Pennsylvania Ave

Discover How Caregivers and Care Seekers Find Their Best Match at CaregiverNC.com


Supporting NC families for three decades Find a support group alznc.org | 800.228.8738 JUNE 2016 |

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by Carrie Frye | Photography by Diana Matthews

OutreachNC asked adults and children our June question. Share your answer on our Facebook page.

What’s the best advice your father ever gave to you? You can fix anything with the right tool. —Pete, 63

Make sure my socks always match. —Gertie, 94

Today might be your last day on earth. Make sure you’re ready.

Always eat the cake and ice cream first. —Margaret, 101

—Stephanie, 51

Recognize when an opportunity presents itself. Seize it, even if it needs some tweaking. Equally, when you are in a bad situation, don’t be afraid to speak up or walk away. —Kim, 60 Be a hard worker. —Jamie, 50

Turn off the light when you leave a room to save electricity. —Carley, 56

Try new things. —Eamon, 9 You have all your life to be a grown up. —Luke, 7 If you’re on time, you’re late. —Bailey, 12

If you are going to do something, do it right the first time. —Alex, 12 Take pride in what you build. —Andrew, 13

Work. —Brad, 53

When God closes a door, He opens a window. —Sue, 73

How to work and not be a bum.

Love your enemies first and then your neighbors. —Lane, 84

You’ll miss being a kid when you’re a grown up. —Toby, 8

To work hard and always give 110 percent. —Hailee, 12

Have faith in God. —David, 60

Try and you can succeed at anything! —Shania, 12

Never trust a toot.

Don’t try to be someone you aren’t. Be your happy little self.

Don’t bite the hand that feeds you. —OutreachNC Co-editor

Never give up. The battle is the Lord’s. —Sissy, 68 Not to kiss all the boys at school. —Odette, 89


Earn your money honestly. Whether you are the president or the janitor, do the very best job you can do. —Dwight, 59

Never quit. —Isla, 6

OutreachNC.com | JUNE 2016

—Ivy, 9

—Cooper, 11

—Sydney, 8

Jeeves, 3

Find a Caregiver to meet your needs today!

CaregiverNC.com We believe that choosing a Caregiver should be your decision, and one free of hassle and worry. You can create a profile that describes the characteristics of the ideal Caregiver for your needs. Our database then matches you with a list of Caregivers to choose from who meet your criteria. Our accredited Caregiver registry puts YOU in control and helps you easily and confidently

find the home care professional who’s right for you. JUNE 2016 |

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An Independent Bank Only Answers to One Thing:

You. We believe our customers are meant to achieve financial independence, to prosper and to pursue the passions that drive their dreams. Our bank rewards this passion with award-winning financial solutions and support from local teams that give you the individual attention you deserve, and empower you to reach your financial goals. It’s uncompromising excellence in a remarkably personal package.

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OutreachNC.com | JUNE 2016 Equal Housing Lender. Member FDIC