February 2021 OutreachNC by OutreachNC

FEBRUARY 2021 - 1

F E B R U A R Y 2 0 2 1

Feature Intro: Checks & Balances: A Financial Fitness Feature

Of the many issues that follow us throughout our lifetimes, money and financial matters lead the pack. Few of us can afford to ignore finances, so we become educated and adept at navigating the waters of financial literacy. We learn to make budgets, decipher statements, set up accounts and manage the incoming and outgoing papers and emails associated with keeping our money straight. It takes time, effort, clarity and sometimes more than a little patience. As we age, our financial literacy must adapt. Our budgets shift and change. We’re no longer paying for daycare costs or groceries for a large household. We must now consider retirement fund withdrawals, estate planning and sometimes complicated healthcare and insurance plans. The paperwork and endless password management involved in the day-to-day, month-to-month world of finances can become overwhelming and cumbersome. More than that, for some seniors, the management of the daily details of finances, insurance, health care and more can be challenging due to cognitive decline, change of circumstances or even traveling outside of the US, enjoying the retirement years on a world-class cruise or a year in France. Anne Seline’s role as a daily money manager (DMM) helps people manage the flood of financial transactions that make up everyday life. According to the American Association of Daily Money Managers, DMMs “deliver essential financial services to seniors and older adults, people with disabilities, busy professionals, high net worth individuals, small businesses and others.”

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CONTENTS

ASK THE EXPERT: ALZHEIMER’S TIPS FEATURE: CHECKS AND BALANCES ABUNDANT BLESSINGS: TO DAD, WITH LOVE FAITH: LOVE, A PANDEMIC AND THE GOLDEN ARCHES

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Amy Phariss, Editor-in-Chief, OutreachNC | editor@outreachnc.com

FEBRUARY 2021 - 2 We are barreling our way through 2021! February is here, the month of love (and frosty temperatures). There has been a mix of rain and sunshine, both of which are welcome additions and reminders that we continue to grow, rest, bask and move forward. We are reminded this month that love is all around us, in the people who show up with soup and flowers, in the sunshine filtering through the tree tops and in the ways we care for and engage with each other. Love is as much taking out the trash and folding the laundry as it is driving a neighbor to an appointment, packing up the car for a day in the country or bringing over a tub of ice cream and a movie rental. This month, ONC sits down with Anne Seline of EveryDay Checks & Balances, a firm helping clients with the daily details of money management. We learn about the most common mistakes people make in managing money and how daily money managers work with (rather than in place of) financial advisors and accountants. In Ask the Expert, Amy Natt answers a reader’s question regarding how to help a grandfather with Alzheimer’s connect and enjoy his time with grandchildren. Natt offers helpful tips and suggestions to make time together rich and enjoyable for everyone. In February’s Faith column, Colette Bachand heads to McDonald’s with her daughters in a display of love and a lesson in letting go. And finally, as a special treat, ONC chats with Debbie Violette about her book Abundant Blessings: To Dad, With Love. Violette’s book is a celebration of fatherhood and was written after her own father was diagnosed with cancer. As February is National Cancer Month, we’re honored to remember this day and bring awareness to this disease with such a thoughtful, heartfelt interview. I spent the last week in bed (literally), downtrodden with COVID and enduring long afternoons of boredom and an aching head. In all the misery, however, there was so much love. A friend left flowers at my back door. Another friend made homemade food and dropped it off. People called daily, texted offers of help and checked in, again and again. In a moment of physical and mental exhaustion, I have felt incredibly loved. George Sand wrote:

There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved. Indeed.

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ASK THE EXPERT: ALZHEIMER’S TIPS

FEBRUARY 2021 - 3 My husband has had Alzheimer’s for about 6 years now and his memory has gotten much worse. We have younger grandchildren and when they come to visit, he is having a hard time connecting with them. It is very sad for me to see him struggling because he has always enjoyed them so much. Do you have any suggestions?

appropriate for him and not creating frustration if it is too difficult.

Alzheimer’s is a progressive disease. Over time, it becomes more difficult for a person to engage in activities and conversations as they did in the past. Communication skills change, and shortterm memory is often greatly inhibited. There are several things that might contribute to the changes you are seeing and a few things you can do to ensure the best visits possible.

• Color, draw or paint on a blank canvas

You can start by giving your husband the best opportunity for success. Create a space for the visit and ensure that all background noise or distractions are kept to a minimum. Hearing the grandchildren may be a challenge to communicating with them, so ensure that his hearing is routinely checked and that any device he may have is properly worn, and batteries changed prior to visit. It will also help to ensure proper lighting. If he wears glasses, ensure he has them on, and they are clean. Because his short-term memory is impaired, minimize the risk of him forgetting the names by having everyone wear a name tag. You can also create a picture book for him that shows each family member and has a name labeled beneath the photo. This is something you can show him prior to the visit or that they can look at together and reminisce. It would also be helpful to have a planned activity. It can be something simple your husband and grandchildren do together but will help them interact and connect with each other. You will have to watch for cues that the activity is

Here are some things you could try: • Decorating cookies/cupcakes • Simple games such as checkers, tic-tac-toe or cards • Make ice cream sundaes • Use pictures from old magazines to make a fun collage • Use different shapes of pasta or large beads from a craft store and practice sorting items by shape or color or stringing them on a cord •

Plant a small container garden for the window

•

Do a large piece puzzle together

•

Look at a picture book of something he likes: trains, cars, planes, food etc.

•

Play music he enjoys and have a dance party

Depending on the ages of the grandkids, it is also helpful to talk to them about Alzheimer’s and some of the things their grandfather is experiencing. This will help them to be patient with him, slow things down a bit and give him an opportunity to respond. There are several great books available for kids. Some of my favorites are: Weeds in Nana’s Garden, Still my Grandpa, Memory Box, What’s happening to Grandpa, Always my Grandpa, A Heart full of GEMS and The Gift of Goodbye. Keep the lines of communication open and allow the grandkids to ask questions and talk about their feelings. Watch for cues from your husband and shorten the length of the visit if necessary. Just remember, somedays will be better than others, so try to cherish the good ones and when things don’t go as planned, try again tomorrow.

FEBRUARY 2021 - 4

CHECKS AND

BALANCES

A Financial Fitness Feature by Amy Phariss

continued from page 1 Seline is Managing Partner of EveryDay Checks & Balances, a firm helping people with daily (weekly, monthly, yearly) money management. Working directly with financial advisors, accountants and lawyers, Seline’s services help reduce stress, confusion and frustration among families when a parent, spouse or loved one can no longer (or no longer wants to) manage the day-to-day personal finances. ONC sat down with Seline to discuss how her work helps families, why people might seek out her services and how we can all better manage our money at any stage of life. This interview has been edited for length. ONC: Anne, the first question off the top of my head is, of course, what is the biggest area of help or support you see seniors needing in terms of financial management? Anne Seline: Some need or want help and others do not. Some situations are simple - others are very complex. Compassion and having someone who understands the big picture goes a long way helping seniors understand

their personal finances. They may choose to manage the day-to-day finances themselves or have a Daily Money Manager help them. Every case is different. ONC: For people seeking help with finances, is there an issue of trust? AS: Trust is very important. Many times it is the financial advisor, the CPA, or the estate attorney who has referred a client to me. The client trusts their professional advisors. Then it is up to me to build a trusting relationship. ONC: What is the biggest emotion driving clients to you? AS: I would say the fear of making mistakes and losing control. They used to be able to manage the checkbook. They ask themselves “why can’t I do it now?” Perhaps now they are not so sure. Or circumstances in their life have changed – a health crisis, the loss of a loved one who may have managed the finances, a divorce, and uncertainty of not feeling in control. Seniors find that

FEBRUARY 2021 - 5 when we manage their day-to-day finances and the administrative tasks surrounding their checkbooks, they regain confidence and control knowing they don’t have to worry anymore. ONC: Do you see mostly people who have declined or a spouse whose other spouse has done everything and now, having lost the spouse, is lost? AS: I have seen both. One example – A couple had moved into Independent Living. The wife took care of the finances, paid bills and handled all the administrative tasks. The husband always got the mail. Then suddenly she realized that she wasn’t getting bills and wondered where all the mail was going. She was missing payments and not able to reconcile accounts. He was misplacing the mail. It wasn’t on purpose. He couldn’t remember where he’d put it. It caused a lot of frustration and confusion. It had been a terrible situation. We solved the problem for her. She sent all the financial mail to our central repository. We were able to organize the paperwork and set up a system that was easy to monitor. We became a trusted thirdparty removing stress from their lives. Another example – A woman who had lost her husband. He had handled all financial aspects of their life. All of a sudden, new responsibilities had fallen in her lap. She was concerned and worried over the new situation and the new set of routines to adjust to. We eased the burden by working with the widow to prioritize the activities that needed to be handled and quickly provided her a road map of her finances. We became a caring/understanding advocate for her during a very difficult time. ONC: I imagine that’s hard on a marriage or if someone is sick… AS: Yes, it is very difficult. This is what happened in the example of the couple who moved to Independent Living. The husband was misplacing the mail due to the onset of illness. For someone who is sick, it is hard, unrelenting and tiring for all.

Maintaining financial stability with so many doctor visits, so many bills, you’ve got all the stress of trying to care for them and then all the day to day stuff that has to be done. It’s a steady stream of expenses – all with their own time-tables of payment. We provided a lifeline of support by meeting the timely payment for an overly-stressed and strained family.

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FEBRUARY 2021 - 6 ONC: What have you seen as a positive result from someone getting help from a Daily Money Manager? AS: Relief, peace of mind, freedom and time to do the things they want to do. ONC: We hear a lot today about financial literacy, which often means understanding credit card debt, the intricacies of a mortgage and how to fund college for kids. Do you think there is a certain financial literacy to being a senior that is unique to this time of life? AS: Most seniors have gone through the school of hard knocks – writing checks, balancing the checkbook, paying the bills and lots more – so it’s common practice unless they lose a spouse who managed it all.

They typically know what they need to do. They just may not be able to do it. And they get frustrated because they can’t do it. ONC: Do you have any clients who simply aren’t good at it, at managing and organizing financial details? AS: Yes. I had a client who lived by herself, no family. She was ill and no one payed her bills during that time. (This happened before I knew her.) When I reviewed her overdue bills, I knew there was a lot of work ahead of me. In the end, she realized that she could not manage the details of organizing her day-to-day finances. I handle it all. I have other clients who have difficulties, but not to that extreme. ONC: Do you see a lot of situations involving scams with seniors? AS: I can’t say I’ve seen a lot. I’ve heard a lot. I had a

client who had been scammed – and didn’t know it. I was suspicious when I looked at 6 months of her bank statements. She told me “he is a friend who invests money for me.” I did take her to the police station. Unfortunately, they were not able to prosecute. Afterwards, she did say to me, “You’re going to handle everything… I can’t do it.” ONC: Do you see mismanagement with family members? AS: I’ve heard of it but haven’t experienced it firsthand. Knowing the client and his/her family and understanding the dynamics is important. I work with the family’s trusted advisors when situations of this nature occur. ONC: Do you work with your clients’ professionals? AS: Yes. We work with their financial advisors, CPA’s, estate/elder law attorneys, care managers, insurance agents etc. My work doesn’t replace any of them. It’s a team effort. They become a resource if I need them. They don’t have to deal with the devil in the details; I do. I know that I will advocate for a client until we get the right answers. For example, we do tax organizing for our clients. We don’t do the preparing. We will make sure that we provide the CPA with the details of income and expenses and 1099s and K1s and all the tax information received by the client. ONC: What are the most common things you do? AS: Clients provide us with a financial or limited power of attorney. We pay bills, reconcile accounts: checking accounts, credit cards, provide accurate financial records and custom reports, prepare reports for client’s professional advisors at their request, manage/monitor long-term care payments

FEBRUARY 2021 - 7 and claims, monitor health insurance claims, and organize tax records. We will do all the administrative tasks that go along with a checkbook. That’s something you don’t realize until you’re faced with it – there’s a lot of administrative work that goes along with that.

You have to follow up with bills, dispute charges, find information for an insurance claim. We monitor long-term care insurance like a hawk because of the value clients get from that insurance. We make sure the deposits are coming through and the invoices are going to them on a timely basis.

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Time is money, and money is time. We can put a road map together for clients. They have a plan for their money. A financial advisor or planner can do this for investments, but they may not get down to the details on a month-to-month and week-to-week basis. We can help them by providing a real-time summary of expenses and income. It’s not a guess off the top of one’s head.

We don’t let things fall through the cracks. ONC: What is the biggest organizational mistake you see people making?

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FEBRUARY 2021 - 8 AS: I would say the biggest organizational mistake is just not being organized. Having a filing system is helpful only if it makes sense. Dealing with paper is difficult. When there’s lots of paper it gets disorganized. We eliminate paper. Everything we do is within a secure environment. We receive bills, statements, deposits, either electronically or in paper form. Our electronic filing system is available 24/7. It is usually the adult child who is looking at it. They see what has been processed and what has not.

two years. So, there are checks and balances for Daily Money Managers too. I also have full liability coverage.

From the time a document is received, it is tracked every step of the way. We electronically sign off on each step.

At a recent networking session, I was asked: what is your company best at? We are unique in the fact that we employ organized and process-oriented technology to help our clients.

ONC: Do you see couples disagreeing on how to organize and manage financial tasks? AS: Yes….yes and no, too. Yes if they both have savviness in terms of managing finances. Then there may be some push and pull there. If one spouse has been managing it, I would say, there is no strife. There should always be communication. I’ve seen a couple in which the husband had been in rehab for about six months, and the wife was so overwhelmed with everything, she didn’t know how to manage anything. Then he came home from rehab and he disagreed with everything that had been set up during his absence. So that was the end of that story. It ceased. It was a shame. She desperately needed help. He had enough capacity to say, I want it done “my way,” not the way that we’d simplified things. ONC: Money, as we discussed earlier, involves a lot of trust. What should people look for when deciding to work with a money manager? AS: Looking at credentials is important, even beyond references or referrals. I am a member of the American Association of Daily Money Managers (AADMM), which has a Code of Ethics and Standards of Practice to which members must adhere. There are continuing education requirements, and the organization requires background checks every

DMM’s vary - experience, education, and service delivery. It’s like a continuum. Some may pick up mail, write checks, make deposits, and file paperwork. As you move along the continuum, DMM’s utilize an increasing amount of technology. At the far end of the continuum technology is the driver.

ONC: So, you have found what works for you, which utilizes technology. But that’s not for everyone. AS: Yes. Sometimes clients or potential clients are fearful of technology and doing things electronically. People want someone to come to the home and write the checks and mail them. That’s not for us. Here we are in COVID. If I had said “yes” to people and agreed to come to their home to write and mail their checks, I could not do it now. That doesn’t mean I don’t see clients. In 2014 we went virtual. We did it because clients had multiple homes and were traveling abroad for extended periods of time. How could we get documents back and forth easily? It became: how do we solve the business issue? Technology was the answer. There will be times I have to say “no.” The woman who got scammed for instance did everything “by hand” – we do everything electronically for her now. She realized it was safer in our hands. It was such a relief to her. Editor’s Note: ONC is grateful for Anne Seline’s insight into the world of daily money management and how we can all better organize and manage the day-to-day details of financial health. For more about Seline’s work, visit EveryDay Checks & Balances at www.everydaychecksandbalances.com.

FEBRUARY 2021 - 9

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ABUNDANT BLESSINGS: TO DAD, WITH LOVE

FEBRUARY 2021 - 10 February 4th, 2021 is World Cancer Day. According to the World Health Organization, cancer is the second leading cause of death worldwide, accounting for nearly 10 million deaths per year. Cancer’s economic impact is over $1 trillion USD per year globally, and many low-income and developing countries struggle to provide care for its citizens. Many of us are affected by cancer, either directly or indirectly. Many of us have loved ones who have been diagnosed with cancer, and many ONC readers themselves will face a cancer diagnosis during a lifetime. Local author Debbie Violette’s experience with cancer inspired her to write a book to honor the man in her life who faced a diagnosis of his own. Violette’s father was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2000. As Violette says, “My whole world came crashing down at the thought of losing him.” Violette’s dad, with treatment, survived and is with her today to enjoy her work on a book that honors

the importance of a father’s role and lets others share their own stories, memories and feelings with their own dads. Violette’s book, a poem highlighted by beautiful watercolor illustrations, is an homage to the role of fathers in all of our lives. ONC asked Violette a few questions about her book, her father’s diagnosis and how she hopes readers will use her book to honor the fathers in their own lives. ONC: Debbie, you wrote a book! Did you always want to be an author? Debbie Violette: Yes! It is a dream come true to publish my book. I have been writing poems and short stories for as long as I can remember. I wrote the poem that inspired this book for my father over twenty years ago. Deep down, I always knew I wanted to share these words with the world, but I had no idea how. It’s thrilling to see this aspiration become a reality, especially because I know I am honoring my dad and cherished fathers everywhere. A father’s role in the home is such an important one. ONC: What was the inspiration for such a personal and poignant book, which is a love poem for fathers? DV: I have been immeasurably blessed to grow up with a father who loves me, my mom and my eight siblings unconditionally and whole heartedly.

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FEBRUARY 2021 - 11 My dad is the most positive person I have ever met. He taught me to see the best in everyone and every situation. He taught me to work hard and to never give up on my dreams. He taught me to have faith and pray with an open heart. I could never repay him for all of the gifts he has given me. Creating this book in his honor has blessed us both very much. ONC: Your book, Abundant Blessings: To Dad, with Love, is about fathers. You offer pages for people to reflect and write about the man who will receive this gift, to pay tribute to the extraordinary men in our lives. Can you tell us about your father, who inspired this book and how he was extraordinary?

DV: Personally, I think it is very helpful to walk through any difficult experience with two things: prayer and a journal. Praying and journaling have helped me cope with the most difficult times in my life, as well as the most triumphant times. I find that when I am overwhelmed, I gravitate to my bible and my journal. Writing down my thoughts and feelings is extremely therapeutic for me and often provides me with much-needed clarity. As a family, what helped us get through this difficult time was gathering with the entire family at my parents’ house. We would tell stories, joke, play games, eat, pray to take our mind off of our worries.

DV: My father is extraordinary because of his unwavering faith and commitment to God and his family. I come from a large family of nine kids and our dad instilled in each of us the importance of loyalty, hard work, faith and family. He has always been my rock, my spiritual leader, and my inspiration. He had many successes in his lifetime, but he will tell you he is most proud of his late wife, children, grand-children and great-grandchildren. His family is everything to him. As a wife and a mom of three children, I am honored to pass this same importance of family down to my own family.

ONC: What do you want readers to know about your dad?

At that time, I was 28 years old and single. My dad was the most important male role model in my life and the person I looked up to most. I just wanted him to be okay.

ONC: What do you hope readers and family members who gift Abundant Blessings: To Dad, with Love will take away from experiencing this book?

DV: My dad is a kind-hearted, humble-spirited, genuine, hard-working, strong, happy, and loving person. He would do anything for those he cares about, and he values faith and family above everything else. He had a successful career with Boeing for 40 years, but to me, he was always just “dad.” He never brought work home with him, and when he was with his family, we received his undivided attention; he had worklife balance mastered! One of his ONC: Can you talk about what it greatest accomplishments at Boeing was like when your father was first was working on the prototype of diagnosed with cancer? What did that the first Lunar Rover Vehicle. He’s feel like as a daughter? What emotions an Army veteran who served in did you feel? active duty in the Korean Conflict. He’s been a valued member of his DV: When my father was diagnosed church community in Washington with cancer, my whole world came crashing down at the State since the late 1960’s, and has spent countless hours thought of losing him. I was terrified. I cried often and serving others. His favorite sport is golf, and he’s been a I had difficulty sleeping and eating. I was scared that he recreational player for the past thirty years. wouldn’t survive the cancer.

I couldn’t help but wonder “what would I do without him?” I prayed and journaled constantly. I wrote a poem for my dad, framed it, and brought it to the hospital the day of his surgery on May 2, 2000. Thankfully, my dad made a full recovery, and he still has the poem in his house today. That same poem is the inspiration behind this book, Abundant Blessings: To Dad, with Love. ONC: Obviously, cancer is an incredibly hard experience. Can you tell us what helped you get through this time personally and as a family?

DV: I truly hope this book feels like home to those who read and receive it! My wish is that this book will help readers remember and relive treasured family memories with their own fathers. My dad grew up on a farm in Kansas and most of the art in this book was inspired by his midwest childhood memories. I hope this book warms the hearts of all who receive it and also takes the reader back to simple, treasured times. I am so grateful for the opportunity to share this story of love for the hero of the house with you! For more information, please visit www.abundantblessings.info.

FEBRUARY 2021 - 12

We value your trust and loyalty. Our commitment to your safety remains our number ONE priority. We're excited to welcome you back to a safe We are happily accepting new patients!

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Music

Hearing loss shouldn’t keep you from connecting on the phone.

can name the unnameable and communicate the unknowable. - LEONARD BERNSTEIN

It has always been universally understood that listening to favorites is enjoyable and can lift one’s mood. However, during the past few years we’ve come to better understand the therapeutic value music can have on those with dementia. For qualified individuals, AOS & Friends Care offers a program which provides a music player loaded with personalized songs.

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To learn more about the Personal Music Player and other AOS & Friends Care programs/services:

o W E Do T

910.585.6757 info@aosfcare.org www.aosfcare.org www.facebook.com/AOSFriendsCare

With a CapTel phone, it is easy to catch virtually every word. You see captions of your call, so you can always follow what is being said. North Carolina residents with hearing loss receive: • No-cost phone • No-cost captioning service • No contracts • In-home set up available CAPTEL 840i

To learn about CapTel NC or get a phone at no cost to those who qualify, contact Kim Calabretta, CapTel NC manager Phone: (844) 519 4806 (toll free) Email: kim.m.calabretta@t-mobile.com Website: captelnc.com/getcaptel FEDERAL LAW PROHIBITS ANYONE BUT REGISTERED USERS WITH HEARING LOSS FROM USING INTERNET PROTOCOL (IP) CAPTIONED TELEPHONES WITH THE CAPTIONS TURNED ON. IP Captioned Telephone Service may use a live operator. The operator generates captions of what the other party to the call says. These captions are then sent to your phone. There is a cost for each minute of captions generated, paid from a federally administered fund. No cost is passed on to the CapTel user for using the service. CapTel is a registered trademark of Ultratec, Inc. NC Department of Health and Human Services • Division of Services for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing • ncdhhs.gov/divisions/dsdhh • NCDHHS is an equal opportunity employer and provider. • 12/2020

GRAY MATTER GAMES

ACROSS 1. Handle the party food 6. Auditorium’s sound qualities 15. Convex molding 16. Port city in SE France 17. Merry old times 18. Space between margin and line of text 19. Conk out 20. Hutzpah, e.g. 22. Amazon, e.g. 23. Smeltery refuse 25. Freshman, probably 26. “___ bitten, twice shy” 28. Waterproof hip boots 30. Mrs. Bush 32. Black 33. Put up, as a picture 34. Ball field covering 38. “So soon?” 40. “The Canterbury Tales” author 42. Makeup, e.g.

43. ___ line (major axis of an elliptical orbit) 45. Brunch serving 46. Estuary 48. Moors 49. Clip 51. Acclivity 53. Harp’s cousin 54. Gloomy 55. Unhurried walkers 58. PC linkup (acronym) 59. Branch that connects with capillaries 61. Cast out 63. One who drools 64. Hindu queen 65. Those who boldly state an opinion 66. Ornamental embroidery DOWN 1. Physical reaction to fear (2 wds) 2. At hand 3. Bullfighters 4. ___ Grove Village, Ill.

5. Like Santa’s cheeks 6. Organic compound containing CONH2 radical 7. Unit of luminous intensity 8. City government statute 9. A Swiss army knife has lots of them 10. Portugese Mr. 11. Little bird 12. ___ artery 13. Copy 14. Transmitted 21. “___ alive!” (2 wds)

24. Inherited, such as disease 27. Musical mark 29. Swedish shag rug 31. “Bleah!” 33. Exaggeration 35. Metal welding gas 36. Expressed in different words 37. One who is given something 39. 10 liters 41. Trick taker, often 44. ___ and Meara comedy team 47. Closer

FEBRUARY 2021 - 13

48. “___ Town Too” (1981 hit) 49. Runs smoothly 50. Con men? 52. Clairvoyants 54. Arp’s art 56. Soft roe 57. Balkan native 60. “The Three Faces of ___” 62. Long-jawed fish

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FEBRUARY 2021 - 14 DON’T JUST LIVE HERE...

LOVE IT HERE.

Residents of Quail Haven Village love the living choices, abundant resort-like amenities and nearly endless social engagements available to them. Here, residents and their families will love the emphasis on nutritious dining options, whole-person wellness and the peace of mind that comes from having continuing care in place should they need it. Call 910.295.2294 to schedule a private visit and don’t just live here...LOVE IT HERE.

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FAITH: LOVE, A PANDEMIC AND THE GOLDEN ARCHES

The Rev. Colette Bachand | revbachand@gmail.com

FEBRUARY 2021 - 15 The pandemic is doing strange things to us. Case in point: my daughters are 23 and 26 and it took a pandemic for me to take them to McDonald’s for the first time. With all due respect to the hamburger giant, as a young mother in the 90’s, I decided I would buck the fast food trend that came with raising children we now call Millennials. No large fries and a shake on the way to dance class girls, sorry, but look I brought you grapes and raisins! It’s not that they never got fast food as kids – that was grandma’s job or later in life their teenage friends’, but not on my watch. On a dreary Monday morning last month, the three of us were driving around the Sandhills trying to get a COVID test. We’d been exposed. After being turned away from two clinics we sat in a rain-soaked parking lot across from the golden arches. Amidst my frustration and worry, my oldest daughter said, “I think we should get McDonalds?” “Yup, French fries would be good right about now.” These foreign words fell from my lips and before I could think about it, there I was handing the drive-thru lady a $20. “Mom, this is the first time you ever took us to McDonald’s,” exclaimed younger daughter. The fries smelled so good and at least now it was confirmed: the pandemic had caused me to lose my mind. How we express love to one another comes in so many forms. As a mother I believed providing healthy food was an expression of my love. Right now, I wear a mask everywhere I go to express love for my neighbor: the lady at the Food Lion, the man in front of me at CVS, the young kid pumping gas into his car too. My faith teaches, “Love thy neighbor;” my mask is a manifestation of that right now.

Expressions of love are usually not perfect, often misinterpreted, sometimes confusing, and things we do out of love don’t always to go as well as we planned. But despite love’s imperfections, I’ll continue to choose love; the love I give to the world as best I can and the love I allow myself to receive when it is offered. After all, love is our only hope.

Singer-songwriter John Denver’s beautiful song, “Perhaps Love” has this thought: Perhaps love is like a window Perhaps an open door It invites you to come closer It wants to show you more And even if you lose yourself And don’t know what to do The memory of love will see you through May the memory of God’s love for us keep us strong; despite our own weariness, may we extend love to others; and, may the pandemic be over soon, lest I find myself at Kentucky Fried Chicken next.

H STA O Y AN M E I N D LO YO SA N U FE G E R R R

FEBRUARY 2021 - 16

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