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JANUARY 2016 | VOL. 7, ISSUE 1

Best Year, Best You Issue



Serving the Southern Piedmont, Sandhills & Triangle

JANUARY 2016 | 1


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features JANUARY 2016



by Jennifer Webster

by Thad Mumau

Where Will You Go?


by Thad Mumau

by Rachel Stewart



by Jennifer Webster

by Rachel Stewart

New Year, New You


Fresh By the Pound, Year-round


Game On: Keeping His Eye on the Ball

5 Ways to Start the Year Off On the Right Foot

Beautiful Skin at Any Age



Mary Marcia Brown

by Jennifer Webster | JANUARY Running With Purpose 2016

Best Year, Best You Issue

Yes, You Can Stop Smoking


Carolina Conversations with WKML 95.7’s Don Chase by Thad Mumau


Better with Age Series: 1931 Model A Coupe by Carrie Frye


Feed Your Brain by Carrie Frye

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departments January 2016

“Bare branches of each tree on this chilly January morn look so cold so forlorn. Gray skies dip ever so low left from yesterday’s dusting of snow. Yet in the heart of each tree waiting for each who wait to see new life as warm sun and breeze will blow, like magic, unlock springs sap to flow, buds, new leaves, then blooms will grow.”

—Nelda Hartmann, January Morn


12 advice & health 10 

Ask the Expert by Amy Natt





Reading for Generations by Michelle Goetzl

Fitness by Michele Stanten


Literary Circle by Cos Barnes


Self-Care by Heather Tippens


Spiritual Wellness Monsignor Stephen C. Worsley


Tech Savvy by Bill Fisher


Belle Weather by Celia Rivenbark


Caregiving by Mike Collins


Gentleman’s Notebook by Ray Linville


Improving Health by Jeff Davidson


Game On by Thad Mumau


Law Review by Jackie Bedard


Grey Matter Games Sudoku, Word Search & Crossword


Planning Ahead by Beth Donner


Cooking Simple by Rhett Morris

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Over My Shoulder by Ann Robson


Resource Marketplace Find the resources you need.


Generations by Carrie Frye


JANUARY 2016 | 7

from the editor


anuary’s winter winds have blown in the New Year with all of its promise and potential. This month, we dedicate this issue to the Best Year, Best You, to capitalize on that promise with goal-setting, lifechanging, healthy and inspiring ways to have the best 2016 possible. Our cover story, “Running with Purpose,” features Chuck Cordell as he runs toward a weekly fitness goal of eight to 12 miles, building up to marathon pace and length as the year progresses. A cancer survivor, Cordell remembers being too weak to walk, let alone run. Having completed his treatments and running onward to live life to the fullest, his personal journey had him working with a trainer to accomplish a marathon last fall. Cordell wears his persistence, perseverance, positive attitude and faith as easily as he laces up his running shoes. His determination is inspiring in each step, as is his kindness to share his path to recovery with others battling cancer. Our “Where Will You Go” feature looks at how Marian Caso chose to embark on a second career. Caso poured herself into becoming an entrepreneur, opened a tea room and has seen her cup overflow with her passion for tea and her customers now for nearly a decade. Passion in the stories of each person featured within these pages makes my heart sing. Being behind the scenes and firsthand, when I have the honor of writing the story, is such a gift. The best part is that most are right here, our neighbors, doing extraordinary things they don’t otherwise consider noteworthy. January is also hot tea month as well as soup month, both of which are perfect ways to cuddle up and stay warm this winter, perhaps while reading your favorite magazine. Time to make a cup of ginger peach tea and settle in with Jeeves the co-editor for one of his many cat naps. Thank you so much for turning these pages with us! Until next month...

—Carrie Frye

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Editor in Chief Carrie Frye | Contributing Graphic Designers Nikki Lienhard, Jonathan Scott Contributing Proofreaders Jennifer Kirby, Michelle Goetzl, Kate Pomplun, Jennifer Webster Contributing Photographer Diana Matthews Contributing Writers Cos Barnes, Jackie Bedard, Mike Collins, Jeff Davidson, Beth Donner, Bill Fisher, Michelle Goetzl, Ray Linville, Rhett Morris, Thad Mumau, Celia Rivenbark, Ann Robson, Michele Stanten, Rachel Stewart, Heather Tippens, Jennifer Webster, Monsignor Stephen C. Worsley

Y Publisher Amy Natt | Marketing & Public Relations Director Susan McKenzie | Advertising Sales Executive Shawn Buring | 910-690-1276 OutreachNC PO Box 2478 | 676 NW Broad Street Southern Pines, NC 28388 910-692-9609 Office | 910-695-0766 Fax PO Box 2019 | 101-A Brady Court Cary, NC 27512 919-909-2693 Office | 919-535-8719 Fax OutreachNC is a publication of Aging Outreach Services, Inc. The entire contents of OutreachNC are copyrighted by Aging Outreach Services. Reproduction or use without permission of editorial, photographic or graphic content in any manner is prohibited. OutreachNC is published monthly on the first of each month.

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Email us your questions! ASK THE EXPERT

Providing Support During Life Changes by Amy Natt, MS, CMC, CSA My mother had a big change last year. She became a widow and her father passed away within six months of each other. Both were unexpected. Now, she lives with our family. While she has her own living space, I still want her to get back to her life. What are some ways we can help her adapt to her new normal and get on with her life as a single person again?

The loss of a spouse or parent is never easy, but having both happen in a short time period can be especially challenging. She needs to go through the grieving process, while learning to live her life as a single person. Typically after a loss it is important that the person have time to grieve and not make any significant decisions or changes right away. She has to find her new normal and refocus time and energy on herself. A good starting place is to determine what her support network is. This may be family, friends, church and sometimes social groups she is affiliated with. All of these connections will provide a resource for her. It may be someone to talk to, an ear to listen or opportunities to reconnect with people. You mentioned that she is residing with your family, so it will be important to have some boundaries in place and for everyone in the house to know what those are. You also have an opportunity to monitor for signs that she may be having trouble adjusting or dealing with losses she has experienced. If you have concerns, it may be appropriate to encourage her to speak to a counselor who specializes in grief counseling. As she goes through this process, here are a few things that might help her get back to her life: 1. Create a journal. Write down things of interest, past hobbies and activities. Look for opportunities to reconnect to those activities. 2. Make a list of her support network. Identify people she is comfortable being around during this transition. 3. Update the address book. Get current contact information for other family members and friends. 4. Talk about her short- and long-term goals.

A short term goal might be to get back to an old 10 | JANUARY 2016

routine. A long-term goal might be to plan a trip with one of her friends.

5. Create a calendar of community events and activities that might be of interest. Talk about

it weekly and offer to go with her to some of them, until she is comfortable going alone. 6. Consider joining a grief support group. A support group provides an outlet to talk about how she is feeling and to connect to others who may have a similar experience. 7. Create a bucket list. List new things she would like to experience in her life. 8. Explore courses offered through local community colleges or recreation centers.

These are often low-cost opportunities for learning.

9. Encourage exercise and a healthy lifestyle. If

we feel better on the inside, we are more likely to want to participate in things on the outside. 10. Let her know that it is OK to grieve. Provide encouragement and opportunity, but do not push her to do things too quickly. Each person experiences loss differently. She has lost a spouse, a father, the home where she lived, her routine, a familiar environment and her sense of connection to a partner to share life experiences. Encourage her by providing support and opportunities to build this next chapter of her life. Readers may send questions to Natt, an Aging Life CareTM Professional, certified senior advisor and CEO of Aging Outreach Services. She can be reached at

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Easy Strategies to Make Walking Part of Your Routine by Michele Stanten


here are countless physical activities out there, but walking is one of the easiest ways to make a positive change and effectively improve your health. Studies have found that even two-minute walking breaks can improve the function of disease-fighting and metabolism-boosting genes. As little as one minute of walking at a heart-pumping pace can help keep pounds off. Even if you already walk for exercise, hit the gym or do some other type of workout regularly, walking is essential to your wellbeing. Why? The latest research shows that sitting too much is more dangerous than smoking—and 30 to 60 minutes of exercise a day isn’t enough to counteract it. In one study, researchers saw changes in arteries that may contribute to heart disease after just three hours of sitting—and that was in healthy 20-somethings. The good news: just five minutes of movement every hour prevented it. Other reasons to hit the pavement, outside of the well-known benefits such reduced risk of heart diseases and diabetes, better mood, lower blood pressure and weight loss are: • Walking boosts creativity by 60 percent • A 15-minute walk can curb chocolate cravings • A lunchtime walk can boost work productivity • Walking with a friend, spouse or child can build a stronger relationship with them

Here are some easy strategies to incorporate walking into your day, including:

1. Keep sneakers in your car. That way

you’re prepared to take a walk anytime you have a few extra minutes Early to a doctor appointment? Stroll around the block. 2. Walk, don’t wait. Instead of sitting on the bleachers while your kid is at soccer practice or in the waiting room during dance class, take a walk.

3. Invite friends for walks instead of coffee or lunch. You’ll burn calories instead

of consuming them.

4. Have multiple routes. Many walkers always

walk from the same location. Expand your options by walking from any location that you frequent. Start a walk from home, work, your kids’ schools, the grocery store, or a friend or family member’s home. Anywhere you find yourself at least once a week is a possible starting point. The more options you have the more likely you are to walk. 5. Park once. The norm in many suburban shopping centers is to park by one store, go in and shop, then drive to the next one. Instead, park at a central location and walk to all of the stores, even if you have to return to the car in between to drop off packages— bonus steps! 6. Get an activity monitor. From simple pedometers to FitBits, these wearable activity tracking devices can motivate you to move more. See how much you normally walk, and then set incremental goals to increase the number of steps you take or the number of calories you burn each day. The benefits will multiply as the numbers do.

Stanten, a walking coach and ACE-certified group fitness instructor, can be reached at

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Make a Commitment to Self-Care in 2016 by Heather Tippens, LPC


s each New Year approaches, we often reflect on the past year’s accomplishments, short comings and desired areas of change to make ourselves stronger and happier. We tend to set New Year’s resolutions that are compiled of desired lifestyle changes. The majority of people fail to maintain their momentum throughout the year, as evidenced by the University of Scranton research which suggests that only 8 percent of people achieve their New Year’s resolutions. The best way to achieve desired lifestyle changes and improve the overall quality of life is to incorporate self-care. Self-care is what people do for themselves to establish and maintain physical and emotional health. Caring for ourselves is one of the most important (and often most forgotten) things we can do to live a happier and healthier lifestyle. Reduce Personal Stress Self-neglect is often found when people are exposed to chronic and prolonged stressors, such as being a caregiver or in a high-stress work environment. Prolonged stress can increase risks for sleep deprivation, obesity, poor eating habits and failure to exercise, high blood pressure and cholesterol, suppressed immune system and failure to address medical concerns. People who are exposed to prolonged stress are at a higher risk for depression and anxiety, and are more likely to abuse tobacco or other substances. Recognize your warning signs of stress, which could include irritability, forgetfulness or disturbances in sleep. Attempt to reduce stress before becoming overwhelmed by implementing stress reduction techniques such as deep breathing, going for a walk, reaching out to others for support or other distraction techniques.

Physical Health It is important to attend all yearly preventive care doctor appointments, seek medical attention as necessary and consult with a mental health professional if symptoms of depression and anxiety persist. Achieve proper rest, and nutrition, and exercise regularly. Incorporate pleasant, self-nurturing activities into your weekly routine. Try something new! Change Your Perspective The most identified barrier to achieving self-care is the belief that it is selfish or that others’ needs are more important. People often believe that asking for help and saying “No” are signs of weakness or that we will burden other people with our stress. Remember, you must put your oxygen mask on first before you can help anyone else. Challenge patterns of negative thinking and take time off without feeling guilty. Set Goals Set yourself up for success by making small goals throughout the year that are realistic and attainable rather that one large overwhelming resolution. For example, if your goal is to lose weight it may seem overwhelming to say, “I want to lose 20 pounds by March”. By incorporating self-care, you can work toward larger goals one step at a time, such as attending a weekly spin class, walking three times a week for 10 minutes or substituting a salad for fries. Be patient. Actively making better choices for a healthy lifestyle takes time, and you may not see results or the changes you desire right away. Remind yourself that it is progress, not perfection. Selfcare is a lifelong journey.

Tippens provides diagnostic and therapy services to adults living with depression, anxiety, trauma, stress related to being a military spouse and adjustment to medical illness at Pinehurst Neuropsychology. She can be reached 910-420-8041 or

14 | JANUARY 2016


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Finding Yourself in ‘The Year of the Dog’ Book Review by Michelle Goetzl


s the New Year approaches, we are often encouraged to make resolutions and usher in the coming year with thoughts of new beginnings, introspection, and the plan to be the best you in the coming year. This is a concept that most young children cannot fully comprehend, but as they start getting into the middle of elementary school, the notion of resolutions can start to make sense. In author Grace Lin’s debut novel, “The Year of the Dog,” readers on the third to fifth grade level get a gem of a story about finding yourself in the New Year-the Chinese New Year. Pacy “Grace” Lin, the protagonist of the story, is a young Taiwanese-American girl who lives in an upstateNew York community where there are not a lot of other Chinese children. The beginning of the book finds her family celebrating the Chinese New Year and all of its customs with special foods, colors and activities. They are ringing in the Year of the Dog, which her mother tells her is a “good year to find yourself ... deciding what your values are, what you want to do-that kind of thing.” Grace vows that this year she will discover new talents and decide what she wants to be when she grows up. What is special about this book is that it is truly told from Grace’s voice and is true to what a child would experience.

As Grace moves through the year, she is trying to figure out her place in the larger world. She tries to balance Chinese culture with American culture. She makes new friends, works on a science fair experiment and auditions for the school play. A fun part of the book itself is that it is interwoven with tales from Grace’s family to give depth to her experiences and to help her grow. For example, when Grace is so tired after celebrating Chinese New Year that she doesn’t want to go to school, her mother tells her of the story when “Mom Sleeps in School.” Or when she struggles with coming up with a topic for her writing assignment, her mother tells her about “The Paper Piano” to encourage her to work on it a little every day, like practicing and instrument. “The Year of the Dog” is a lighthearted coming-of-age novel with a cultural twist. A real page-turner that will delight readers. Jan. 27 is also Multicultural Children’s Book Day, an annual observance to raise awareness about the importance of diversity in children’s literature.

Goetzl writes an online blog—”Books My Kids Read.” She loves books and sharing that love of reading with children. She can be reached at





‘Go Set A Watchman’ and ‘The Pilot’s Wife’ Book Reviews by Cos Barnes


arper Lee is masterful at weaving a story. “Go Set a Watchman” was almost as good as “To Kill a Mockingbird.” It is a coming-of-age novel in which the 26-year-old Jean Louise, whom we remember as Scout, returns to her home in Maycomb, Alabama, for her yearly two-week visit with her father, Atticus. Now a resident of New York, she is shocked by the change in her father, the town and the people in it. She confronts the new South racked by the tensions of the civil rights movement. Scout finds her father, known for his intelligence and goodwill to all, attending a citizens council and hobnobbing with members of the Ku Klux Klan. Feeling betrayed by her father, the rest of her family, the town she grew up in, as well as Henry, the young man who wants to marry her but is considered “trash” by her aunt, she listens to an uncle who tells her truths are guided by the conscience. Plagued with crippling arthritis, Atticus is dependent on Henry, who is somewhat of a protégé of his, and is now a different man from the father Scout knew. However, she learns he has not fallen from his pedestal of integrity. Incidentally, the title of the book comes from the sixth verse of the 21st chapter of Isaiah in the Bible, “For thus hath the Lord said unto me, ‘Go, set a watchman, let him declare what he seeth.’” ◆◆◆ I don’t often read a book twice, but Anita Shreve’s “The Pilot’s Wife” is an exception. I read it in the late 1990s when

it first came out, then again recently in one of my book clubs. It is quite a read with the heroine, Kathryn Lyons, displaying tremendous courage in trying to investigate a plane crash, in which her husband is held responsible as the pilot. Amidst rumors that the pilot may have attempted to commit suicide and suggestions that his crash was premeditated, his widow searches for answers. Kathryn travels to the Irish Coast to survey the crash site and to London, where the pilot was discovered to have a secret life. While trying to protect their 15-year-old daughter and their comfortable life in the mill town of her childhood, Kathryn has to re-examine her marriage and her life. A high school teacher, she loves her home by the ocean and the life they had lived up to this point. Barnes has been writing for OutreachNC since the first publication in 2010 and currently participates in three book clubs. She can be reached at

JANUARY 2016 | 17



Backing Up Files for Added Security by Bill Fisher


s we become more dependent on technology to complete our everyday tasks, we tend to forget how easily the information stored on our computers can be lost. Imagine what would happen if your computer was misplaced, damaged, or even stolen. Would you lose any important music, documents, photos, or other files? Fortunately, you can protect your files from accidental loss by creating a backup on an external hard drive or online backup service. Should anything happen to your computer, you can rest easy knowing your files are still safe and secure. Using an External Hard Drive One of the easiest ways to back up your files is to purchase an external hard drive. Once the drive is connected to your computer, you can transfer files manually or automatically depending on your needs. Keep in mind that an external hard drive is subject to the same risks as your computer, including fire, theft, and accidental damage. That’s why it’s important to keep it in a secure location away from your computer when not in use, like in a fireproof safe. Backing Up Files Online For added security, you can also back up your files in the cloud. When you store something in the cloud, it’s saved online to servers instead of a physical hard

drive. The main advantage of cloud-based storage is that your files are much less vulnerable to risks like theft or accidental damage. If you want to back up a few files or folders online, you’ll need to sign up for an account with a cloud-based storage service. Most services will give you a small amount of free storage, which should be enough to store your most important files. You can also buy additional storage for a monthly fee. Either way, you’ll be able to access and share your files from any device with an Internet connection. Popular storage services include Dropbox, Google Drive, and OneDrive. If you want to automatically back up more files or even your entire hard drive, you’ll need to purchase storage from an online backup service. While these options may seem expensive at first, they often cost the same as an external hard drive while offering the added security of storing your files in the cloud. Some popular options here include Carbonite, Mozy, and iCloud. In the end, the backup option you choose should be the one that makes the most sense for you. The most important thing is that your files are backed up somewhere. This way, you’ll have a better chance of recovering them if the worst does happen to your computer. Better safe than sorry!

Fisher is an instructional designer with, a program of Goodwill Community Foundation and Goodwill Industries of Eastern North Carolina Inc. For more information, visit

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Spiritual Wellness for the Best Years of Our Lives by Monsignor Stephen C. Worsley


have to confess, I never heard of spiritual wellness when I was growing up. But illnesses such as measles, mumps and the flu were familiar experiences. Wellness wasn’t even a part of the curriculum when I trained as a physician, much less the idea of spiritual wellness. By contrast, today a great deal of attention is given to wellness, and rightly so. It becomes increasingly evident by the time we reach midlife that good health isn’t entirely a matter of luck. More than simply dodging the things that make us ill, our chances of enjoying our “golden years” are greatly enhanced by indulging in those things that keep us healthy-habits that like good nutrition, moderate exercise and adequate sleep. Likewise, healthy relationships are vital. With the loss of friends to death and relocation, it takes a conscious effort to establish new friendships. We may no longer be at risk of being led into sin by the teenaged classmates of our youth, but our need for good friends is just as important now as it was when we were battling the scourge of acne. But spiritual wellness? What gives with this? I went to Sunday school when I was young, but I never imagined attending after I finished high school any more than I envisioned taking French or Algebra again. Surely we knew all we needed to know. After all, God never changes. So I should be okay if I don’t forget what I learned in Sunday school as a kid, right? Well, as it happens, there are several problems with that assumption. First, it is becoming increasingly






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obvious that my memory is falling out with my hair. So a refresher course on all things spiritual is a great idea lest I forget something really, really important. Moreover, if God hasn’t changed in the past half century, I certainly have-and not just physically. I have lots of questions that I never thought to ask in Sunday school. As kids, we never discussed the morality of suicide among the terminally ill, but today, it’s a question I hear with increasing frequency. Somehow I think we’ll find better answers to that in an adult faith class than by listening to politicians debating the issue on CNN. Even more importantly, the question arises: Where will we find the encouragement to live what we believe? As we pass beyond the age of making mission trips, how will we live our faith? What about when we can no longer drive or deliver meals on wheels? How will we live our faith then? As I listen to our neighbors, especially our elders, I realize I’m not alone in facing these questions. And, as I observe their struggles, I note their successes are more often due to their accepting responsibility for wellness than for any reliance on luck, magic pills or even exceptional preaching.

Worsley is Director of Mission Outreach at St. Joseph of the Pines. He can be reached at

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Turns Out I’m Digging This Trip into Ancestry Roots by Celia Rivenbark


hate to admit it but I haven’t cared much about my genealogy over the years. When someone would drop mentions of this or that long-dead ancestor at a family gathering, I’d just roll my eyes and wander off looking for Oreo pie. Who cares? That was like a bajillion years ago. So, to be honest, I was only feigning interest when invited to speak in bucolic eastern Virginia and “tour the churches and graveyards of your ancestors.” A lovely offer, I am sure, but not really my thing. “Does the hotel have Showtime?” I asked. “It’s an elegant 18th century B&B.” “OK, am I, or am I not, going to be able to watch ‘Homeland’?” Did she just sigh??? After I spoke at the library fundraiser on Friday night, my escort and “distant cousin,” Hannah, arrived at 9 a.m. Saturday to take me on the ancestral homeland tour as promised. I was already lining up a migraine/escape plan because, yes, I am that awful. But a funny thing happened on the way to the sixth church graveyard. Let me explain. Living in North Carolina, sure, we have relatives, but nobody much cares about who your people are. You’re here. It’s now. Move on. In Virginia, things are very, very different. At a graveyard beside a winding river, there were huge, tall thingies with my grandmother’s maiden name on them everywhere. “Hmmm. Cool towers,” I said. “Those are obelisks,” Hannah gently corrected. Who really knew? Hannah had earlier said “toe-MAH-toe” so, well, I wasn’t sure if I could trust her.

We went to many churches with plaques and stained-glass windows dedicated to the family. Portraits of relatives hung in the courthouse. When introduced to a minister’s wife, she gently framed my face with her hands and said quite solemnly, “You are Baptist royalty.” Down, girl. I’ve been called a lot of things in my life but NEVER Baptist royalty. I didn’t have the heart to tell her I was Methodist. She might have jumped out of one of those stained-glass windows. As the day wore on, I found myself getting into the spirit of this ancestry stuff. Frankly, royalty has its perks. At a fall festival, I was escorted to the head of the line and given a free funnel cake by a distant cousin. At least 30 people in line glared. “FFV!” I shouted to them cheerfully. Oh, for heaven’s sake. First Family of Virginia. Did you really NOT know that? In the span of six hours, I had not only drunk the ancestral Kool-Aid, I was happily swimming in the stuff. When Hannah showed me that I was eligible for the Jamestown Society, I practically gave her a tongue bath. Back home, I told my friends about all this and their eyes glazed over. I’m determined to embrace my heritage even from hundreds of miles away. Just today, I ordered extra “toe-MAH-toes” on my Nachos Bell Grande. It’s a start. Rivenbark is the author of seven humor collections. Visit her website at ©2015 Celia Rivenbark. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.

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JANUARY 2016 | 21



New You, Best You by Mike Collins


uring my caregiver experience with my mother, I was never concerned with being the best caregiver ever. I was more focused on being the best caregiver I could be when I could—at that moment, on that day— and when I couldn’t be my best I, at least, fulfilled my responsibilities. To be honest, I was just trying to keep caregiving from making me crazy! I’ll confess that my ability to function effectively as a caregiver was impacted positively by everything from music I heard on the way to see my mother to how well my job was going. The experience was negatively affected by how tired I was, what kind of mood my mother was in or what, among a wide variety of life stressors, was affecting me that day. Whether you are new to caregiving or a veteran caregiver, you always have a choice about what type of caregiver you are going to be ... in the moment. It’s imperative that you understand you can’t always be at your best. In fact, expecting and pushing to always be your best is a great way to create a double-decker, stress/ guilt/fatigue sandwich you’ll eat every day. If you see yourself in the description I just laid out, this is the year to create the “New You, Best You,” as a caregiver. Here are five simple pointers (simple to offer, not so simple to follow) to help you move to a new level of caregiving and personal effectiveness: 1. Sit down with a cup of coffee, glass of wine, or something cold and have a heart-to-heart conversation…with yourself. Remind yourself of

the logic that you can’t be at your best all the time, but you can fulfill your responsibilities. In short, cut yourself some slack, and you’ll find there is less chance of caregiving making life crazy.

2. Have a conversation with your spouse or significant other. The absolute, best description

I’ve ever seen of what that conversation should cover

22 | JANUARY 2016

comes from AARP: “What role do you expect him or her to play? Suggest specific ways your spouse can help, and show appreciation for his or her efforts. Recognize that your responsibilities affect your spouse, and encourage him or her to talk about any frustrations. Your relationship is a prioritykeep it that way.”

3. While we’re talking about conversations, have one or multiple talks with your support network; those folks who can, and often should, be helping you. If you have family members who are

in this experience with you—really with you—start dividing responsibilities or times so everyone gets an equal chance to offer their best. If some family members are not helping, give them alternatives. Distant family members can provide financial support, make calls for appointments or handle recordkeeping. Hold regular meetings with your support network in person or via conference calls.

4. With the help of your network, professional caregivers included, make a list of priorities.

What tasks or responsibilities must be performed? What tasks are optional? And which ones would it be nice if you could do?

5. Create a plan to take care of yourself ... and be selfish. What do you need in terms of time,

activities and contact with others, to keep yourself on an even keel?

This can be your best time as a caregiver if you create the “New You” by caring with more focused thought, planning and help. Good luck!

©2016 Mike Collins.

Collins is the producer of the video, “Care for the Caregiver,” winner of a National Caregiver Friendly Award from Today’s Caregiver Magazine. For ways to deal with the craziness of caregiving, visit

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G E N T L E M A N ’ S N OT E B O O K

Eat More Bacon: A New Year’s Resolution by Ray Linville


ew Year’s resolutions are made to be broken. But for 2016, I’m making one resolution that I promise to keep: Eat more bacon. Bacon took it on the chin recently when the World Health Organization (WHO) identified it with other processed meats as being carcinogenic to humans. Carcinogenic is a word that I didn’t even know until well after I had given up cigarettes (a demand from my wife when we were expecting our first child). It’s a word that I should have been taught before I had left high school, because I grew up in the tobacco city of WinstonSalem (yes, the self-described “heart of tobacco” that lends its name to two leading brands). Imagine the shock in that city when the U.S. Surgeon General proclaimed in 1964 that cigarette smoking is harmful. Heck, we kids knew that-we didn’t need any official proof. The coughing by our elders convinced us that something wasn’t right. I understand the link between tobacco and cancer. However, I’m at a loss to connect bacon and cancer. WHO went so far as to lump bacon with carcinogenic items such as formaldehyde, asbestos, plutonium, arsenic and radium. Of course, those items are dangerous-but bacon? Bacon is the Lord’s gift to Southern food. Although a tomato sandwich (with Duke’s Mayonnaise) is

24 | JANUARY 2016

a great summertime meal, add bacon with a little lettuce and the sandwich becomes perfect. For many foods, bacon is what adds nature’s goodness. Similarly, doesn’t a salad look naked without bacon bits? Actually, please check: Some bacon bits are made with no bacon-scary. Talk about carcinogenic! (Imitation bacon bits are made from TVP, textured vegetable protein. Shouldn’t WHO include them in its list of 116 items that cause cancer?) The difference between smoking cigarettes habitually and enjoying bacon occasionally is immense-a point that escaped WHO. Fortunately, WHO came to its senses several days later. Of course, this was after the North American Meat Institute had claimed that WHO “tortured the data to ensure a specific outcome.” But modify its warnings WHO did-although it needed three full days to reconsider the evidence. I would need only three seconds. WHO admitted that it wasn’t calling for people to stop eating meat and that it hadn’t determined a safe “meat quota” (a diet high in processed meat, not occasional eating, had caused the cancer deaths). What WHO had also failed to do was to place cancer deaths caused by processed meat in perspective. Almost six times as many cancer deaths worldwide are caused by air pollution. So give bacon a break. As I continue to enjoy bacon, my new lifestyle is to avoid polluted air and those other carcinogenic items identified by WHO. Now, let’s eat some bacon. Retired from the N.C. Community College System, Linville is a contributing writer for the N.C. Folklife Institute and conducts programs on Southern food, history and culture. He can be reached at

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Where Will You Go in 2016? by Jennifer Webster | Photography by Diana Matthews


hat you’ve done in the past need not be a roadmap to your future. This year, chart out a new direction. Theodor Seuss Geisel, better known as Dr. Seuss, finished his six-decade-long career with a book about beginnings, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go!” Dr. Seuss knew what he was talking about; over his life he undertook numerous ventures, including stints in advertising and the military. In fact, if weren’t for a career detour, his marvelous books might never have been created: after college, he studied at Oxford University, intending to become an English teacher, but his future fiancée persuaded him to become an artist instead. While “Oh, The Places You’ll Go!” is a typical gift for high school graduates, people of any age may embark on new quests. In fact, the book might make a great 2016 retirement gift.

Knack for New Beginnings Take, for instance, Bill Dodson, one of the world’s cadre of elite ultra marathon runners, who began a 50K race soon after his 80th birthday and crawled across the finish line in a driving snowstorm. While his running career is long—three decades, in fact—he began running at the age many people are starting to think of slowing down. Yet, he can run steadily for as many as 15 hours. Patience, tenacity and consistency characterize older longdistance runners and older high achievers in general. For that reason, these people may have a special talent for new, difficult endeavors. No matter your age or circumstance, a renewed vocation may be within your reach.

Tea Time

Marian Caso, proprietor of Lady Bedford’s Tea Parlour in Pinehurst, for instance, began planning to open a tea shop in 2005, and spent several years learning her new trade before opening her business. CONTINUED PAGE 28

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The advantage to being a mature business owner is that you have more life wisdom and work experience to draw upon.

—Marian Caso

To discuss your 2016 plans over afternoon tea, visit Lady Bedford’s Tea Parlour at 21 Chinquapin Road in Pinehurst. To learn more, call 910-255-0100 or visit JANUARY 2016 | 27


Even though she has loved tea and the social ceremony of tea-making since girlhood, she was working as a legal secretary as she neared the conclusion-so she thought-of her career. She and her husband moved to Pinehurst for their retirement, and as she looked around, she realized the town was ripe for a tea room. She undertook the task methodically by first working for a tea shop, then taking relevant classes and enlisting a mentor to guide her through the process. In 2008, she opened the doors of Lady Bedford’s Tea Parlour, and her dream became a reality. She’s not alone. CNBC reports that entrepreneurs in the 45-plus age group are increasing in number, even in tight economic times when younger people are starting their own businesses at a slower rate. Boomers and seniors show greater financial stability and have a wealth of human connections to draw on, according to the Kauffman Foundation. Businesses started by middle-aged adults and seniors tend to thrive. Forbes reports that in 2010, one of the two fastest-growing tech startups was founded by a 68-year-old. And of all businesses started between 2004 and 2008, the age of the founder was a strong predictor of the venture’s success, with older entrepreneurs outlasting their youthful counterparts. Lady Bedford’s Tea Parlour has prospered, too, celebrating its lucky seventh anniversary in August 2015.

Precious Moments

Sometimes it’s the bright moments rather than the business successes that make a venture especially rewarding. “A little boy won a date with his preschool teacher and could take her anywhere he wanted,” Caso says. “He chose to come to Lady Bedford’s.” Another time, a young mother took her son to tea so he could practice chivalric behavior. The gracious ambiance of the tea shop allowed a recreation of a bygone era. “She was teaching him manners-how to be a gentleman,” Caso explains. “She had him pull her chair out. It was so cute.” Caso has not only built a business; she’s created a space for conversation and community, adding new friends along the way. “My favorite thing is just how many friends we have made at the tea shop,” she says. “Some of our customers have become such good friends that they feel like family.”

Your Turn!

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After hearing Caso’s story, are there any big life moves you’d like to make? Maybe you have a novel on a thumb drive somewhere in the back of your desk drawer that you’d like to polish up and send to an agent. Or perhaps retirement gives you time to turn your knack for configuring computers into paid or volunteer gigs. Whatever you choose to do, Caso says, it’s worth the effort: “Be prepared to work hard. Do your homework, face your fears and then just go for it.”

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ayetteville’s Gary Robinson capped off his busiest and most productive season of golf as the 2015 Carolinas Golf Association Senior Player of the Year. Growing up, Robinson was like lots of other boys, playing pickup basketball at outdoor hoops and throwing and hitting a baseball whenever he got the chance. He was good enough at both sports to play in high school. Golf never entered his mind. There was neither money nor opportunity for that. He would have laughed had someone told him he would one day become one of the finest golfers in North Carolina and among the country’s very best senior amateurs. Yet, that is exactly what has happened. Robinson, 57, is easy-going but fiercely competitive. He is one of the longest hitters on the senior tour and holds a golf club with a relaxed grip that fits his personality. Watching him amble up to the tee and unceremoniously smack his drive more than 300 yards straight down the middle, one might surmise that he is a natural. But even though there is plenty of athletic ability at the core of that smooth, sweet swing, it was built, not born. Constructed with hundreds of hours of work. Hitting practice balls, watching video to break down mechanics and reading about how to tame the inner self, a feat that can mean the difference between good and great in a sport that is as much mental as physical. A lifetime Fayetteville resident, Robinson played golf for the first time when he was 15 years old. “I went with Rick and Ronnie Adams, twins who were good friends. I didn’t have any clubs; I would just use one of theirs when it was my time to hit. Their dad, Ray, played with us sometimes, and he taught me how to hold the club and things like that. Ray was, and still is, a very good golfer. He remains a good friend today.” Robinson graduated from Reid Ross High School in 1976 and was married the following January. After working and taking some classes at Fayetteville Technical Community College, he enrolled at Fayetteville State University. “When I did, I told the lady that I wanted to try out for the baseball team,” he says. “She told me that the school had discontinued that sport. A man standing close by-he turned out to be the golf coach-asked if I would like to be on the golf team instead.”

So he did, and while his collegiate career was fairly forgettable, Robinson learned a lot. The Broncos’ team practiced at Fort Bragg’s Stryker Golf Course, where he met several Army retirees. “I’d go back and play with some of those guys. They had games where there would be a little wager, and it helped me learn to play under pressure. “Shoot, when you’re making 50 dollars a week, and a putt is worth two bucks, that’s a lot of money,” he says. “That was pressure.” Robinson hung wallpaper for a living and earned a reputation as one of the best in the business. He enjoyed golf when he got the chance and was playing OK. Then he improved dramatically. “There were two reasons I got better,” he says. “No. 1, I decided to get better. No. 2, I bought a video camera-they were big and bulky back then, and I’d put it on a tripod when I went out in a field to hit balls, and I’d film myself. “Tom Watson was just coming into his own at that time, and he was my favorite. I tried to swing like him. I watched the TV with Watson hitting the ball, and I watched the videos with me hitting the ball, and I tried to make my swing more like his. I would watch videos over and over, and my wife, Audrey, asked, ‘What are you doing?’ I said, ‘Just trying to learn.’” Then came “The Book.” “For Christmas in 1981, my wife gave me “The Inner Game of Golf ” by Timothy Gallwey. It is about the mental aspects of golf and making things simple. In fact, SIMPLIFY is the big thing. I have read that book four or five times and parts of it, more than that. It has helped me so much.” Robinson reaped dividends almost immediately. He won the Fayetteville-Cumberland County Championship, during which he posted his lowest-ever nine-hole score of 32, on the way to his best-ever round of 72. The next month, he won the local Gates Four Invitational, followed by a half-dozen other tournaments. “I went from shooting 80-85 to consistently getting into the low 70s and even into the 60s. I was obviously practicing a lot, but the key was that I was practicing differently. Take the club back and swing, take the club back and swing ... I broke it down to that. It all starts with preparation, and when you prepare well, you just do things naturally.”



Last year, Robinson was the medalist during qualifying for the U.S. Senior Amateur, which was played in California. He did not play well, and he knew why. “On the way home, I realized that I had not competed enough. I had been thinking about the others players’ accomplishments and didn’t have confidence in my own game. “I was upset with myself. I don’t mind hitting a bad shot, but I do mind hitting one from a negative thought, and that’s what happened out there. It’s about preparation, and I had to get back to having the same preparation before every shot.” Robinson was again the (co-) medalist this year in qualifying for the U.S. Senior Amateur. At the event, which was held in New Jersey, he finished fifth over two rounds, which qualified him for match play, where he lost in the quarterfinals. His performance guaranteed him a spot in next year’s Senior Amateur tournaments in the United States, Canada and Great Britain. Robinson, who was inducted into the Fayetteville Sports Club Hall of Fame in 2014, has changed careers. After 25 years hanging wallpaper, he is a general contractor building houses. His daughters are involved, Lauren working with the company and Jennifer as a real estate agent. 32 | JANUARY 2016

Golf kept him on the go in 2015 as he played 16 tournaments. In addition to finishing on top of the CGA Senior points standings, he won his eighth Cumberland County Championship, extending his own record and giving him a title in four different decades. He also won the Durham Senior Amateur and the Eagle Point Senior Amateur in Wilmington. Those were plums, but nothing was more special than teaming with Lauren to win the Carolinas Golf Association Parent-Child tournament for the third straight time. They have won three father-daughter events in Fayetteville as well. “Golf has added so much to my life,” Robinson says, “but golf does not dictate who I am. If I shoot 75 or 65, it doesn’t change my life. My girls still love me, and I love them. That won’t change. “But I sure have enjoyed playing.” Mumau has been a writer for more than 48 years, covering some of the sports greats, including Michael Jordan, John Wooden, Jack Nicklaus and Dean Smith. He can be reached at Mumau’s book, “Had ‘Em All the Way,” is available at It is his seventh book.

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New Year, New You

by Jennifer Webster


e never stop becoming. This year, picture the kind of person you’d like to be-and, like a flower tending toward the sun, take steps to grow into a more radiant you. Some years, we make resolutions to eat less or jog more … and these are important things to do. In 2016, though, why not focus on our inner selves? Do we need to speak less and listen more? Laugh louder and complain more softly (if at all)? Truly quiet our minds during prayer or meditation?

Mirror, Mirror

A glance in the hall mirror can tell us it’s time to skip the sugary sodas. But what tells us we need to change our inner landscape? Often, it’s rocky patches in our relationships that tell us we need to change. When people come to Jennie Byrne, MD, PhD, owner of Cognitive Psychiatry of Chapel Hill PLLC, they are often eager to improve relationships, she says. “They want to be better listeners, be more sensitive to another’s needs, improve coping skills and be assertive in conflict situations,” she says. As she helps her clients work toward these goals, the first step is to figure out exactly what the trouble spot is, or identify the issue that needs to be worked on. 34 | JANUARY 2016

“Sometimes this seems simple, but on reflection it can actually be complicated,” she explains. Dr. Byrne encourages people to analyze the situation and ask questions such as: “What relationships are involved? What is under your control? What is not under your control?” After assessing interpersonal situations, it’s time to take a critical look in our inner mirrors. “The second step is to improve awareness through self-observation,” Dr. Byrne says. She illustrates with questions clients might ask themselves. “What triggers the problem? What am I feeling when this happens? What automatic thoughts are popping into my head? What behaviors am I using in response to the problem?”

“I have worked with all kinds of people—young, old, men, women, rich, poor, healthy and sick. Change comes in many forms, and I do believe that everyone is capable of change at some level.” —Jennie Byrne, MD, PhD

Plant Your Seeds; Expect Sun and Rain Once you’ve identified a thought or behavior that needs changing, the third step is brainstorming “interventions,” or positive changes in thoughts and behaviors, Dr. Byrne says. Once you come up with a strategy, implement it. Of course, your first attempt may not work. Maybe you need to confront your angry son with sternness; maybe he needs a touch of gentleness and compassion. Maybe the answer’s a blend and your real need is to practice discernment while you figure it out. This trial-and-error process is necessary, Dr. Byrne says. “The fourth step is to experiment with new thoughts and new behaviors, then reassess and repeat,” she says. “Establishing new habits takes months, not days, so you have to be patient with yourself.” Working with a professional, such as a minister or counselor, can help, too, especially since our first (or second or third) tries at change may not yield fruit. “Relapse is part of the process,” Dr. Byrne explains. “Remind yourself that it doesn’t matter-what really matters is what you learn going forward. Over time, the relapses tend to be less frequent and less intense as your coping skills improve.”

Dr. Byrne says. “The other person in the relationship may continue in the same dynamic even if you no longer want to function that way.” In those cases, we may need to bring our newly cultivated gifts to other situations where they can really shine.

Year In, Year Out

Change is never a one-step process. Methodist founder John Wesley spent 50 years writing his journal, often struggling with improving himself and resolving his spiritual doubts. Though today we might reject some of his goals-such as avoiding all laughter-others remain important, like this one: “To use absolute openness and unreserve with all I should converse with.” Sometimes it’s hard to open up just once, to one person. But always, to everyone? That’s a real character transformation. So what turns New Year’s resolutions into lasting change? Dr. Byrne’s answer is something we can all aspire to: “Persistence, focus, patience, knowing when to ask for help and keeping a sense of humor about ourselves.”

Enjoy Your Garden In “The Secret Garden,” the lonely orphan Mary spends the cold weeks of early spring working in a disheveled rose garden, only to enjoy the blossoms as the weather warms. Mary finds, though she does not realize it until the roses are blooming, that what she has also been cultivating is her spirit. In the same way, while we may spend time working toward better relationships, our reward may be kinder, stronger, more generous selves. This is true even if the relationships remain stuck in the mud. “Sometimes it’s hard for people to accept that no matter how successful they are at making character changes, they are still part of dynamic relationships,” JANUARY 2016 | 35

Running with Purpose by Mary Marcia Brown Photography by Diana Matthews

36 | JANUARY 2016


new day’s sun rises, revealing reverent rays of light that illuminate a fresh perspective on the possibilities that lie within a 12-hour day. Similarly, January juts out from gloss-covered calendar pages, inspiring potential and inviting victory over the course of 12 months and the new year. After all, if accomplishments can be checked off a list in a day, just imagine what can be achieved in a year. The new year appeals to Americans as a time to set new goals, adopt new behaviors and drop habitual patterns that have turned the wheel toward an undesirable destination. Perhaps that is why almost 50 percent of Americans dependably make New Year’s resolutions, and why even more would likely follow suit if they realized they are 10 times more likely to attain their goals when they explicitly resolve to do so. Health and fitness continue to rank highly among the top five resolutions. “Trying something exciting” is another resolution that does not fall far behind. Chuck Cordell, and Kay and Belvie Jenkins, prioritized both of these items when they resolved to participate in the 12-hour Tick Tock Ultra Marathon at Forest Creek Golf Club in Pinehurst in late October. Now, as they look into 2016, their new goals are set. “My intent is to run eight to 12 miles per week during the winter, and then hopefully gear up to run the Tick Tock Ultra again in 2016,” says Cordell, who also plans to play in several local, regional and national senior golf events this year. After undergoing two stem cell transplants, four years of chemotherapy and the experience of being physically unable to even walk up his own driveway in the recent past, Cordell was thrilled to run the beautifully framed roads of his Forest Creek neighborhood. He also surpassed his marathon goal by running more than 31 miles during the Tick Tock Ultra.

Forest Creek neighbors Kay Jenkins and Chuck Cordell converse about their 2016 fitness goals.


JANUARY 2016 | 37


“It was as if the golf courses and property were coming alive,” says Cordell of what was once Terry Brown’s family property known as Meyer Farm, and which is now home to two nationally ranked, Tom Fazio-built courses. “Running in the marathon gave me time to meditate and experience things around the course and property that I may not normally notice—the sun rising over the golf course, steam rising from the lakes and ponds and the different animal noises changing as the day progressed.” Forest Creek’s undisturbed natural beauty also helps Kay and Belvie Jenkins enjoy staying active, fit and healthy. The Charlotte-based couple is making a move to their Pinehurst home full-time this year as well as resolving to stay fit by remaining active outdoors. Belvie enjoys playing golf and riding his bike, while Kay enjoys horseback riding and fitness walking. Walking is something the couple enjoys doing together to stay active. Kay consistently walks five to 10 miles each day. As an avid runner, she has completed 22 marathons through the years while Belvie has completed five. However, prior to the Tick Tock Ultra, neither had completed more than the standard 26-mile marathon distance. When they heard about Forest Creek Golf Club hosting the unique 12-hour event, the couple set their goal as 34.5 miles for the event—a feat they successfully completed. “It seems like a perfect place to hold an event—safe and traffic-free,” Kay says. Like Cordell, Kay already has the 2016 Tick Tock Ultra on her running radar for the year, and she already has goals in mind. “I will definitely try to go a little farther in 2016 if my health allows,” Kay adds. With health-centered goals firmly in place and a direction established to achieve their New Year’s resolutions and realize new running milestones, Cordell, Kay and Belvie have their right foot forward and sights set on achieving, if not exceeding, their fitness goals in 2016. 38 | JANUARY 2016


Steps to Successfully Embark on Your 2016 Fitness Plan by Mary Marcia Brown | Photography by Diana Matthews

1 2

DECIDE that this is the year you are going to commit to becoming a fitter, healthier you.

SET GOALS that are realistic, measurable and time specific. For example, “I’m going to run a marathon” can be replaced with “I am going to begin walking 20 to 30 minutes, five days each week, and gradually begin to increase my speed, and add 20 minutes to my workouts each month so that I can successfully complete a marathon this fall.”

3 4

KEEP A LOG so that you can easily see and track your progress.

HOLD YOURSELF ACCOUNTABLE by rewarding yourself (with a healthy smoothie or sports massage) when you exceed your fitness goals, and by recommitting during weeks you might fall short.


DRESS FOR SUCCESS by making sure your gear is indicative of your goal. When you wear lounge pants, you are more likely to lounge, and when you lace up your running shoes, you are more likely to log your determined miles.


SEEK SUPPORT by surrounding yourself with like-minded people and places that share your fitness interests. Choose a walking buddy, find a local running/cycling group, hire a certified personal trainer, join a gym, or register for a race like Forest Creek’s 2nd Annual Tick Tock Ultra Marathon on Saturday, Aug. 13.


KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE PRIZE and know that your committed, diligent efforts will pay off and help reveal the best you during this very best year yet. JANUARY 2016 | 39


by the Pound, Year-round by Thad Mumau Photography by Diana Matthews


aul’s Produce is one of the true treasures in Fayetteville. The friendly little store offers the freshest fruits and vegetables to be found in these parts, along with a pleasant atmosphere that makes shoppers feel right at home. Many of those shoppers are really more like family, and that is because of owners Paul and Betty Carter. They get to know regulars, enjoy their customers and have a sincere desire to make them happy. “Of course, if they’re happy, they will come back, and that’s what we want,” Paul says, “but we also want people to be satisfied. We like hearing how good and fresh our vegetables and fruit taste.” Paul’s Produce has been in business 32 years. Tucked behind Lindy’s restaurant, which is on the corner of Raeford and Marlborough roads, it is what Paul calls “a Southern-style produce market.” Shelves are filled with what he terms Southern tradition: collards, sweet potatoes, beautiful yellow squash, field peas, butter beans, green beans and much more. Like sweet, juicy tomatoes; succulent corn displayed in a package that showcases its freshness; and several varieties of crisp, flavorful apples. Along with cucumbers, red potatoes, and yellow, red and sweet onions, you might drop some local honey into your basket and maybe jars of jam, preserves, apple butter or pickles. Speaking of cucumbers, they were what triggered Paul to open a produce market in the first place. Paul was born in old Vander and grew up with two older brothers in a house right beside Macedonia Baptist Church. His daddy was a logger, and like many boys back in that time, Paul started working in tobacco fields when he was 10 or 11. In high school, he worked after school and on Saturdays at the A&P grocery store on Hay Street. CONTINUED PAGE 42

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JANUARY 2016 | 41


Betty and Paul were sweethearts at Stedman High School and married months after graduating in 1964. When the new A&P opened on Raeford Road, he moved there and worked full-time. He met Ambrose Johnson, who was the produce manager. “He was 20 or 25 years older than me,” Paul recalls, “but we created a bond. He was my mentor and my second daddy. What a fine man.” After eight or nine years, Paul was a salesman at International Harvester until the business was sold. Then he drove a truck, hauling produce, before buying and running a convenience store. Next came a one-year stint at Food Lion. “I was working there,” he says, “and I had a friend named Johnny Wright who owned an open air market. I would go with him sometimes to the produce market. At that time, cucumbers got really expensive. “One day when I was with Johnny, I saw what a box of cucumbers was selling for, and I knew what Food Lion was getting for them. So I worked up the numbers and figured the percentages and concluded that if I could get 75 percent of what Food Lion was charging, I could make a better living working for myself than working for them.” Paul found a piece of land, borrowed money and built a building. Betty was working, and that made survival possible in the early years of the produce market. Their son, Bryan, who has helped in the store as long as he can remember, was 6 at the time. “It was very slow at the start,” Paul says. “Our little place didn’t even have running water at first. We put what money we had in a bag and would count it at the end of the week to see if we had more or less than we did on Monday. It took about three years until we felt we could use some of the money for our personal bills.” Taking what he had learned from Ambrose Johnson and the experience he had gained, Paul developed kind of a sixth sense that has helped him recognize the best fruits and vegetables when he goes to the markets in Columbia, South Carolina, or in Raleigh. 42 | JANUARY 2016

“There aren’t many people who have these eyes and fingers,” he says, not bragging but just stating facts. “I can look and touch, and I know. It’s just a natural thing.” One that’s good for his business and customers, but not always welcomed by the sellers at the markets. “Let’s just say they aren’t always happy to see me coming. They know I won’t put anything in my truck that’s not top quality.” Which is why folks like going to Paul’s Produce. Well, one of the reasons, anyway. They also like getting “inside” product tips from him and chatting with Betty. A number of close friendships have developed along the way. “We know a lot of the names of people who come in here regularly,” she says. “A lot of them cry on my shoulder sometimes. It’s hard when one of them gets really sick and harder when one passes away. So many of them are like family.” Like everything else, owning and operating a produce market is much more difficult than it looks. “People think you’ve got it made if you own your own business,” Betty says, laughing. “They don’t see all we have to do in the back getting things ready to put out. Or how late we’re here sometimes. I’ve been back there in my bathrobe late at night helping Paul get stuff off the truck and into the cooler. They have no idea the long hours he works.” A couple of times a week, Paul is up and on the road by daybreak, driving to Columbia, taking the time to pick out only the best fruits and vegetables, driving back and unloading. Then getting his purchases ready for the next day. Paul also keeps up with trends in produce, such as the canker disease problem with citrus in Florida or the growing popularity of the Honey Crisp apple. Not to mention seasonal attitudes. “Wintertime palates are different than summertime palates,” Paul says, “even though we have vegetables that are just as fresh in the winter.” This is evident in the dead of winter, when the squash, corn, green beans and tomatoes are as pretty as in July. “It’s a mindset,” Betty says. “People have in their heads that certain things can only be fresh in the summer. So they don’t come in looking for those things in the winter. But they’re here, and they’re fresh.” Paul has a story to exemplify that way of thinking. “People will go into a restaurant in the wintertime and order a hamburger with lettuce and tomato. But they won’t go to a produce market and buy lettuce and tomato.” The thing is, anyone visiting Paul’s Produce on the coldest January day will feel it’s summertime when they see the beautiful products in front of them. It’s like a picture in a magazine.

5 T

Ways to Start the Year Off on the Right Foot by Rachel Stewart

here’s nothing like a fresh start-and the new year is the perfect time to set your intentions. However, many people may forget their resolutions a few months after they made them. Here are five ways to make your 2016 a success:

Larger resolutions-such as losing 50 pounds or 1finally cleaning out the overstuffed garage-can be broken down into smaller chunks and tackled over Think in small goals instead of the big picture.

time instead of all at once. Fight the urge to do an overhaul, because you’ll likely be discouraged or abandon the end goal early on. It takes time to make changes and make them stick. Find small ways to meet your resolution. An example could include drinking water instead of soda for a month, or organizing one corner of the garage.

more specific you are, the more likely you are to succeed. 2Get organized by using a planner, journalTheor scrapbook to document your progress. Keep important Outline your plans for the new year.

information handy, such as a log of weight lost or money saved for that dream getaway. Review your progress each month and adjust your goals as needed.

Don’t go it alone-you’re more likely to be successful if you have a friend or loved one 3to keep you accountable. Turn your resolution into a challenge to keep you engaged. Wager something Get competitive.

fun for whoever meets their goal first, like tickets to a sporting event or a day at the spa. If you’re taking up a new hobby or interest, join a local group in town to network with others and make new friends and gain expert tips.

on your journey along the way, and celebrate your achievements. Consider prayer 4or meditation toReflect help lift your spirits. Other ways to clear your mind could include a walk outside or Look inward.

listening to soft music. Set aside time on a daily or weekly basis to check in with yourself.

fallen short 5in the past, the start Ifofyou’ve a new year is the Let go of the past.

perfect time to release regrets or negative thoughts. Move forward, living and enjoying the present. Know that slip-ups may also occur this year, too. Don’t let them derail you. Remind yourself that you’re human, then get back on track.

JANUARY 2016 | 43

Beautiful Skin

at Any Age by Rachel Stewart


ish you could bottle the youthful glow your skin had in your 20s or 30s? Smart skin care choices can help you maintain a radiant glow for decades to come.


When people reach their 40s, their skin begins to lose its natural moisture, so it’s important to invest in gentle daily cleansers and moisturizers to keep skin dewy looking. When applied regularly, eye creams can also reduce the appearance of lines, dark circles or unwanted puffiness. Women may also be tempted to pile on more makeup to hide flaws, such as crow’s feet or laughter lines, but too much makeup can actually amplify their appearance. Instead of caking on layers of products, apply makeup sparingly or select lighter foundations, such as mineral foundations or powders. If you forgo makeup, be sure to slather on some sunscreen to protect your skin from the dangerous ultraviolet rays that cause skin cancer. Annual checkups with a dermatologist can also note any odd changes in your skin, such as dark spots or moles. This is also a good decade to start exfoliating on a regular basis. These gentle scrubs can help remove dead skin build-up and keep skin glowing without harsh chemicals or plastic surgery. Not impressed with drugstore products? Combine olive oil and brown sugar to make an all-natural scrub for your face and body instead.

44 | JANUARY 2016


A person’s 50s is when the bad habits of yesteryear-such as smoking or too much time in the sun-will begin to show more than before. Skin will also begin to lose its elasticity during this time period, so this is the time to invest in more specialized products that keep skin looking smooth and glowing. Options include: • Creams featuring pentapeptides, which increase collagen • Chemical peels, which smooth skin, similar to an exfoliant • Microdermabrasion, which improves skin tone and reduces the appearance of wrinkles Before considering these advanced skin treatments, consult with your dermatologist about which are best. Too many treatments could lead to extra dryness, peeling, redness or soreness.


Skin can begin to darken and dry out further in a person’s 60s. Up the moisture content by using super-concentrated serums at night to nourish your skin. Using a humidifier can replenish moisture naturally, too. Dealing with dark spots? Look for products that contain hydroquinone, a substance that inhibits melatonin production. Lower concentrations are available over the counter, but for drastic dark spots-also called melasma-talk to your dermatologist about getting a prescription.


Once a person reaches their 70s, the focus should be on pampering delicate skin. Cleanse your skin twice a day with creamy cleansers, and forgo the exfoliators or peels you may have relied on in the earlier years. Tried and true petroleum jelly and vitamin E oil are great options for softening hard skin on the elbows, knees and feet. Skin can also become much thinner and more prone to bruising, or breaking, so be extra careful during daily activities, such as cooking or gardening. Clean any wounds or scrapes thoroughly and see your doctor if healing is delayed. CONTINUED PAGE 46

JANUARY 2016 | 45


Nourish Your Skin from Within Want to increase your inner glow? Take these tips to heart. 1. DITCH THE DIETS. Yo-yo dieting doesn’t just make you feel like you’re missing out, it can wreak havoc on your skin. Take a more balanced approach to eating, including plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables. Fresh produce is full of antioxidants that can help protect your skin from the elements. 2. EAT THE RIGHT KINDS OF FAT. In the past, fat has gotten a bad reputation. Monounsaturated fats, however, contain essential fatty acids and help your skin retain moisture-no expensive face creams needed. Nibble on nuts and seeds, or spread mashed avocado or coconut oil on your morning piece of toast to boost your healthy fat intake. 3. SIP YOUR WAY TO SUPPLE SKIN. Your skin is 63 percent water, according to the Journal of Biological Chemistry, so don’t forget to drink up during the day. Start the day with a glass of water and keep a refillable bottle with you in your car or on the kitchen counter as a reminder. 4. CURB REFINED CARBS. Carbohydrates found in breads, cakes, and candy can lead to spikes in blood sugar. Not only will this zap your energy, it can interfere with collagen production, which helps keep skin smooth. Stick to whole grains when adding a carbohydrate component to your meals and snacks.

Skin Cancer ... a Winter Worry? Sunscreen isn’t just for the summer months. The sun’s ultraviolet (UV) rays can damage your skin even on overcast days, according to the Skin Cancer Foundation. Select a sunscreen with a sun protection factor (SPF) of 30, which will block UV rays by 97 percent. And if you find yourself outdoors for an extended period of time or have been doing yard work that’s caused you to break a sweat, consider reapplying sunscreen for maximum protection until you’re back indoors.

46 | JANUARY 2016

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SEPTEMBER The Second 50

MARCH Universal By Design

OCTOBER Carolina Crafting

APRIL Healthy Living

NOVEMBER Retiring Boomer Style

MAY Empty Nesting

DECEMBER Colors of Christmas

JUNE Living History JULY Homegrown NC AUGUST Outdoor Living

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JANUARY 2016 | 47

Yes, You Can ... ... Stop smoking this year.

by Jennifer Webster Photography by Diana Matthews

Lynn Antil, MPH, CTTS, Tobacco Treatment Specialist, tells how.

FACT: It’s hard to quit. Every year, about four out of 10 smokers try to stop. Only a few succeed at the first try, but eventually, about 40 percent of smokers do manage to quit. But how? What separates the quitters from the others? They get help. They consult a doctor, counselor or other specialist. By contrast, smokers who don’t use a smoking cessation program of some sort start smoking again-up to 95 percent of the time. If people truly want to quit, Antil says, the essential factors are “use of medications to help control cravings and withdrawal, social support from family and friends, and ability to find other coping strategies and change routines.” Here’s how she breaks it down: • Counseling builds confidence and helps smokers identify their triggers. • Medications “help people quit by decreasing withdrawal and making cravings more manageable.” • Physical activity releases endorphins and helps people manage anxiety, including the stress of quitting. What about vaping? E-cigs may be popular, but they’re not regulated, and their safety is unknown. Antil warns against them. “E-cigarettes reinforce the actual behavior of smoking,” she says. “Someone who wants to be a nonsmoker should work to break the action of smoking and puffing.” Relapse? Not a problem. “The only person who fails in my book is the person who stops trying!” Antil says. “With every attempt to quit, the individual learns what things help and what things make it difficult to succeed. By knowing what led to the relapse or what prevented the person from being successful, the individual and counselor can problem-solve around it to make sure she or he will succeed the next time.”

48 | JANUARY 2016

Carolina Conversations


WKML 95.7’s Don Chase by Thad Mumau Photography by Diana Matthews


JANUARY 2016 | 49


eople have been waking up with Don Chase for a long time. He has been the WKML 95.7 morning man almost all of his 26 years with the country radio station, broadcasting out of Fayetteville. The Lumberton native has been in radio 31 of his 54 years. Like WKML, he has become synonymous with country music, having been called on many times to serve as master of ceremonies for concerts and events. Chase has been and continues to be very popular with listeners. They love him for his upbeat personality, knowledge of the music and its performers, and for his strong Christian faith, which he is happy to share on the air. ONC: When did you first think you would like to be a radio broadcaster?

DC: At an early age. My late mother said I learned to operate a small transistor radio rather quickly. In my early teens, I knew that someday I would work at a radio station. Why did you want to do that?

Like most everyone, music was the magnet and the way to get it was via radio. Early on, I knew I was different. For me, what made the difference was what the announcer said and did between the songs. Was there another profession you considered?

Yes, electrical engineering. I earned my associate degree with a goal to transfer to N.C. State in order to get my four-year degree. Shortly before graduation, I was offered a job with Duke Energy in Charlotte. Later, I accepted a position with Progress Energy in Lumberton. After two years, I decided to pursue my dream of radio broadcasting. I knew I could always go back into engineering. It was a fantastic career decision. Can you name some of the broadcasters who had an influence on you?

I could name many. I thought Robert Hester of AM 1440 WBLA Elizabethtown had the most beautiful voice. Buddy Edwards at AM 1220 WENC Whiteville played Carolina beach music, my favorite. I also have to include Alan Hoover, Chuck Kinlaw, Country Dan Hester, Bob Krokel, Robin Tyree, Bill Sellers, John Pittman ... let me stop. I could go on and on. 50 | JANUARY 2016

Was country always your preferred genre?

No. Gospel was the first and still is. Many will be surprised that I am a huge Carolina beach music fan. Growing up in the 1970s, many radio stations aired “block� programming. With that method, I was introduced to many musical formats. It would seem a good DJ should talk enough to inject some personality, but not too much. How do you blance that?

Yes. It takes planning. People allow me a few minutes of their time, and my goal is to make the most of it.

In your tenure at WKML, you have come to be recognized as the voice of country in this area. Does that give you any special feeling?

Yes, I am very humbled by the things people say and write. God gets the glory for placing me in a career that I truly love. Country music has really changed. It seems there is very little music similar to what was country when you first began your career. Can you talk a little about that?

Not only has country music changed, all music has. Look at pop music. Go back to the innocence of the 1950s followed by the Beatles, the Woodstock generation, the disco era, the one-hit wonders of the 1980s, etc. In country, Bob Wills added a fiddle to big band and called it country and western. People forgot about Western when Web Pierce, Eddy Arnold and Johnny Cash sang. In the ’60s, George Jones. In the ’70s, Conway Twitty; ’80s,Willie Nelson and ’90s, Garth Brooks. Today’s younger generation drives listener habits. In fact, the younger demographics always have. Our favorite artists had their time. Today’s artists better make the most of it. There’s someone that will take their place one day soon. Who are some of the most likeable artists who you have met?

Garth Brooks, Taylor Swift, Scotty McCreery, Blake Shelton, George Strait, Miranda Lambert, Lauren Alaina . . . too many to name. I have only met a few “human hemorrhoids” as I will call them. Can you share a few of your all-time favorite country songs? Do you continually critique yourself?

Yes, there is always room for improvement. What makes a good DJ to you?

You must enjoy what you do. If not, people will know. People also want to know you care. I had a tremendous compliment a few months ago when a lady called and told me how much she appreciated me sharing my faith and asking for prayers on the air. That really meant a lot. Another tip is to always keep your ego in control. Never never let it go to your head.

“The Dance” by Garth Brooks; “The Rest Of Mine” by Trace Adkins; “Feels So Right” by Alabama-best slow song ever; “All Roads Lead To You” by Steve Wariner; “Wichita Lineman” by Glen Campbell. Do you editorialize much about artists and songs on your program?

Occasionally. If I share my opinion, I keep it brief and keep the show moving. For more in-depth coverage, I would take advantage of social media. If you ask, people will let you know what they think. CONTINUED PAGE 52

JANUARY 2016 | 51


Doing anything day after day can become grueling. How do you leep the show fresh and entertaining after all of these years?

Each day is a gift. We all have the same amount of time. What makes the difference is how you think and what you do with that time. Life is very short. I am thankful for every moment. No two days are the same. Now, in addition to everything going on locally, I am inundated with topics and information on social media with Facebook and Twitter.

52 | JANUARY 2016

What is the most gratifying thing about your career?

I am uncomfortable admitting this, but every day someone will call about something I said and how it positively impacted their day. To know that I made a difference in someone’s life is the biggest blessing I could receive. What will you do when you don’t do this any more?

I hope I am taken out of the studio in a body bag. I truly enjoy what I do and could not imagine doing anything else. If I had to leave radio, I would probably beg St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital for a job. I could also see myself working with a nonprofit such as Special Olympics. I am so blessed with a big soft spot for the less fortunate. Wherever God leads, I will go.

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Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success. —Henry Ford | JANUARY 2016

BETTER WITH AGE SERIES by Carrie Frye | Photography by Diana Matthews

1931 Ford Model A Coupe


his 1931 Ford Model A Coupe is a blue beauty owned by John Oltesvig of Carthage. “This model didn’t come with turn signals,” Oltesvig says, smiling. “But it has them now. It has four-way flashers.” When introdced by Ford Motor Company, the Model A Coupe came in standard and deluxe as well as the Business, Sport and Roadster models. With the release of the Model A, which was designed by Henry and Edsel Ford, Ford was able to outsell Chevrolet in 1929 and 1930. The Ford Deluxe Coupe, which cost around $550 in its day, offered a rumble seat and windows in the back that could be rolled down. A Deluxe Coupe also boasted mohair seats, whereas the Standard model featured cloth seats. With its 4-cyclinder, 3.3-liter engine and floor-mounted, three-speed transmission, top speeds are 65-70 mph. “I love driving it,” Oltesvig says. “A modern car doesn’t provide you with the fun factor of a classic or make other drivers smile and wave at you. It’s a hoot to drive.”

JANUARY 2016 | 55

GREY MATTER See Grey Matter Puzzle Answers on Page 58































































Abbreviation Boat

9. Coaster 10. A common rabbit 11. Dislike, and then some 12. Theme of this puzzle 13. Bulrush, e.g. 18. “___ any drop to drink”: Coleridge 24. “___ to Billie Joe” 25. Beginning of a conclusion 26. Bone-dry 27. Allocate, with “out” 28. Elliptical 29. Not liquid or gas 31. Ask 33. British sailor (slang) 34. Conceited 36. Coastal raptor 37. “Roots,” e.g. 38. Cookbook abbr. 42. Sink 43. Caribbean, e.g. 45. Work boot feature 47. Cheeky and bold 48. ___ Bowl DOWN 49. “Paradise Lost” 1. Boston or Chicago, e.g. character 2. Palm berry 51. Marienbad, for one 3. Decomposes 52. Hammer’s partner 4. Cantab, for one 54. Asian nurse 5. Belt 56. Euros replaced 21. Eccentric 6. Big mouth them 22. Chinese dynasty 57. Clickable image 23. Fairy tale character 7. Brooks Robinson, e.g. 58. Be-boppers 25. Crush 8. Common expression 59. “... or ___!” 26. Andy’s radio across instruments 62. “48___” partner 30. To make fuller or more complete 32. To orbit a point 35. Dispute 39. Bologna home 40. Sacred beetle of ancient Egypt 41. Set the boundaries of 43. Sights 44. Indicate 46. Ballet move 47. Flip, in a way 50. Certain tribute 53. ___ du jour 54. “Tarzan” extra 55. Officers 60. Bit 61. Relating to machinery 63. “___ does it!” 64. Jewish month 65. Grottos 66. All there 67. Brewer’s need 68. Taste, e.g.


1. Stickers 6. Soccer ___ 10. Beanies 14. ___ squash 15. Husk


16. “O” in old radio lingo 17. Across the nation 19. Fall follower 20. Distribution of Linux | JANUARY 2016



12 Easy Habits for Better Health in 2016 by Jeff Davidson, MBA, CMC


n pursuit of excellence, people sometimes shortchange their health and then find, too late, that the road back is incredibly challenging. Why not be excellent on the job and maintain your health? Here are 12 small changes you can put in to practice now to maintain and improve your health:

Sleep eight hours each night. 1 2at the State University of New York found thatA study men Get enough rest.

Plan vacations for the next three years.

who vacation every year reduce their risk of dying from cardiovascular disease. So start dreaming about where you’d like to go-and in the meantime, take time off now and then to do cool things with your kids.

and clutter can 3contribute to stress.TooIf youmuchkeeppaper your desk organized, Clean your desk.

it will be easier to focus on the task at hand and avoid feeling overwhelmed. With the hectic lives most of us lead today, even a little bit of de-stressing can make a big difference.

This offers positive 6health benefits for you and encourages fun and healthy Take your kids on a bike ride.

exercise for your children. It also allows you to have some non-stressful time to just enjoy being with your family. Dry brush your teeth. It has been demonstrated to reduce tartar, which can lead to plaque, by at least 50 percent. Make sure you have a soft brush, and brush gently, scrubbing both the top and bottom of your teeth. Don’t forget the backsides! This will help considerably reduce the risk of bleeding gums. Check your contact lenses. A diet full of fat, protein and alcohol weakens your tears’ ability to block cholesterol from sticking to your contacts. Get a cholesterol screening if you experience cloudy deposits on your contact lenses to determine if you are at risk for serious problems, like clogged arteries. Exercise while you sit. Sit up straight with your spine away from the back of the chair. Use your abdominal muscles to keep your back in alignment. Flex and release various muscle groups, like your arms, thighs and calves. Volunteer. Studies have shown that men who do volunteer work at least once a week experience far less tension than those who don’t. Visualize. Picture a pleasant scene from your past, such as a meadow, a brook or a magnificent tree. Skip dessert. If you can get out of a restaurant without having dessert, you’re ahead for several reasons. First, it costs you less. Second, the portions will tend to be larger than you might otherwise serve yourself. And third, you have no control over the amount of sugars and fats in your dessert. You might not much have control at home or elsewhere either, but you have absolutely no control in the restaurant, in most cases. Unless, of course, you ask for a no-sugar or nonfat dessert.




show that men who watch 4less than two hours. Studies of TV per day have, on average, 10 lower blood pressure and a lower BMI than those Turn off the TV

who watch more than two hours daily. Sure, watch the Panthers play in the Super Bowl or enjoy your favorite weekly sitcom, but watching less TV leaves you time for other things- like working out, exploring new hobbies or teaching your kids how to play football.


Discover which medical problems run in your family, and assess your own risk. If you know that

illnesses such as diabetes, high blood pressure or heart attacks have killed family members, get tested to be safe or help prevent greater problems. Genetic tendencies are simply tendencies. Often, the right diet and lifestyle can prevent medical problems that caused early deaths for your relatives.

11 12

Davidson, MBA, CMC, aka “The Work Life Balance Expert” works with busy people to increase their work-life balance, so that they can be more productive and competitive, and still have a happy home life. He is the author of “Breathing Space,” “Simpler Living” and “Dial it Down, Live it Up.” For more information, visit JANUARY 2016 | 57



Feed Your Brain

by Carrie Frye




58 | JANUARY 2016

hen it comes to health, brain health and cognitive function ranks No. 2, only being edged out by heart health, according to a recent AARP Brain Health Research survey. A 2015 study in The Lancet, a UK-based medical journal, noted a reduced risk of cognitive decline and dementia in older adults when they combined strength training, aerobic exercise, brain games and efforts to control their weight and blood pressure with a healthy diet. “We always tend to think more about our heart, but our brain also needs vital nutrients,” says Laura Buxenbaum, a licensed and registered dietitian and assistant director of Nutrition Affairs for the Southeast Dairy Association. “Think about keeping your brain active and consuming more foods with antioxidants, vitamins and minerals that can keep our brains functioning well.” A Mediterranean diet, known for its heart-healthy benefits due to its emphasis on fresh fruits and vegetables, fish, nuts and whole grains, may also lessen the effects of age-related brain atrophy and the risk for Alzheimer’s disease and cognitive decline. Even if you don’t want to embark on a complete change of your diet, incorporating more fruit, vegetables, low-fat dairy, fish and whole grains can make a difference. “The big thing to remember is you don’t have to switch everything all at once,” Buxenbaum says. “Start with a small goal, such as eating salmon twice a week. Make small, gradual changes by adding more fruits to your diet. Add a handful of blueberries to your oatmeal and slowly change your habits over time to move toward a healthier diet.” Buxenbaum’s top six foods to feed your brain include: 1. DAIRY: Two-percent or less low-fat milk, yogurt and cheese 2. BERRIES: Blueberries, strawberries, raspberries, blackberries, etc. 3. OLIVE OIL: Replace butter and other oils 4. FISH: Salmon, mackerel, herring, tuna and trout 5. CRUCIFEROUS VEGETABLES: Vibrant-colored and dark green, leafy greens like spinach, red and green cabbage, cauliflower, broccoli, Brussels sprouts and kale 6. NUTS: Almonds, flaxseed and walnuts “The bottom line,” Buxenbaum adds, “is by incorporating brainhealthy foods, we can reduce our risk of cognitive decline and memory loss.”



White Bean and Kale Soup by Rhett Morris Photography by Diana Matthews

Vegetable Stock Ingredients 1 carrot cut into 4 pieces 2 stalks celery cut into 4 pieces each ½ small onion cut into 4 pieces 2 cloves garlic 3 quarts water

Soup Ingredients 1 carrot diced

½ onion diced 1 stalk celery diced 2 garlic cloves minced 1 green peppers diced 2 tablespoons spoons olive oil 3 cups kale chopped 1 19-ounce can white beans, rinsed and drained 2 quarts vegetable stock Salt and pepper to taste


To make your own stock, place vegetables in a medium sized pot and add 3 quarts water. Boil for approximately 30 minutes until reduced to 2 quarts. Let set for 1 hour, then strain. Set the strained stock to the side. In a large pot, add the first six ingredients and cook on medium high heat until vegetables are soft. Add the beans, kale and stock and bring to boil. Add salt and pepper to taste, and soup is ready to serve. Morris, owner of Rhett’s Restaurant, Personal Chef & Catering, is an awardwinning chef, specializing in Southern gourmet fare with fresh ingredients. He can be reached at 910-695-3663 or

JANUARY 2016 | 59



Are You an Ant or a Grasshopper? by Jackie Bedard


emember the old fable of the ant and the grasshopper? I was reminded of it recently, and it struck me how applicable it is when it comes to long-term care planning. Sometimes, it is “crisis” planning when you or a loved one already need care or will need care very soon. For others, “pre-planning,” allows you to plan ahead for the possibility of needing long-term care. Meet Harry and Henrietta Hopper As Harry neared retirement, he and Henrietta decided they would take advantage of the prepaid legal plan through Harry’s employer to set up their wills. They couldn’t understand why their good friends, Andy and Alice Ant, would opt to spend money to separately hire an elder care attorney when they could just have the prepaid legal attorney draw up a will for them. Several years later, Harry suffers a stroke. He requires significant rehabilitation and needs a walker. As such, he’s no longer able to reach their bedroom upstairs, so the Hoppers convert their dining room into a makeshift bedroom. With Harry’s limited mobility, Henrietta is left to assume responsibility for the household chores and home maintenance. Their children stop in occasionally to help, but they also have jobs and families of their own to care for, and Henrietta doesn’t want to burden them by asking for assistance. Henrietta contacts an in-home health care company to inquire about getting some assistance for Harry, and is shocked to discover that the in-home care would cost more than if Harry were to move into a nursing home. Although they have some retirement savings, the cost of the in-home care would rapidly eat through the funds, so Henrietta decides to stick it out a little bit longer. A few months later, the Hoppers' children intervene. They can see that caring for their father is taking a great toll on their mother and that the time has come for Harry to move to a nursing home. Reluctantly, Henrietta agrees. As they are completing the admission paperwork, Henrietta asks the nursing home representative about

60 | JANUARY 2016

Medicaid. She is told that they will need to “spend down” their assets significantly before Harry will qualify for assistance and that she may need to go to the courthouse to obtain “guardianship” of Harry, so that she can handle the finances. Henrietta pays for Harry’s care out of pocket for several months, until Harry finally qualifies for Medicaid. One day the stress finally catches up with Henrietta, and she dies suddenly from a heart attack. The family is devastated. All these years, they had put so much concern on Harry’s care, that they never contemplated the possibility that Henrietta might die first. When the family settles Henrietta’s estate, they learn that Harry and Henrietta owned most of their assets jointly. With Henrietta’s passing, this means that the assets are now in Harry’s name. As a result, Harry loses his Medicaid eligibility until the assets are spent down even further to re-qualify. At this point, all that is left is the Hoppers' home and less than $2,000 in savings. A few months later, Harry passes away. Shortly thereafter, the children are shocked to receive a letter from Medicaid informing them that they are required to sell their parents’ house and pay Medicaid back for Harry’s care. Meet Andy and Alice Ant Andy and Alice Ant had seen first-hand the toll that longterm care can take when Alice’s mother had Alzheimer’s disease. They wanted to do everything they could to make sure that if either or both of them were to need long-term care, they would both be able to receive quality care in their home without becoming a burden to their children. After meeting with a couple of estate planning attorneys who didn’t seem to understand long-term care issues, the Ants found a local elder care attorney to assist them. They discussed their goals with the elder care attorney, including things like wishing to remain in their home if care were needed, providing a legacy for their children and grandchildren, and avoiding the hassle of probate for their family to make things as easy as possible for them.

After discussing these issues with their attorney, the Ants decide to move into a single-story home in an independent senior living community. They develop some great friendships with the other residents and y enjoy all of the amenities available to them. Those amenities really become a godsend when Andy is diagnosed with cancer and has to go through draining radiation and chemotherapy treatments. Alice is so relieved that they have housekeeping, laundry and dining services available to them, so that she can focus on caring for her husband. Unfortunately, Andy succumbs to the cancer and passes away. With the loss of her husband, Alice’s children visit regularly to check in on their mother, and it becomes apparent that she is suffering some memory loss. After a thorough diagnosis by a neurologist, it is determined that Alice is showing signs of dementia. As the dementia progresses, Alice begins needing assistance with some of the activities of daily living (e.g., getting out of bed, using the restroom, bathing, dressing, eating, and incontinence). The time comes for her to move to the assisted living section of the senior community she is already residing in. Although the cost of the assisted living care is quite a bit higher, the Ant family doesn’t have to worry because Alice has lifetime long-term care coverage in place that will enable her to afford the cost of the assisted living care for as long as needed, and Alice will be able to enjoy the social and recreational opportunities that the community offers. Years later, when Alice passes away, the family again is thankful for their careful planning that allows the children to handle the estate privately without the intervention of the probate court. Which family would you rather be a member of—the Hopper family or the Ant family? If you have not implemented your own comprehensive estate and long-term care plan, then I strongly encourage you to make 2016 the year that you get it done.

Bedard, an elder law attorney with Carolina Family Estate Planning, can be reached at 919-443-3035 or

JANUARY 2016 | 61



Take Time for You This Year by Ann Robson


t’s the beginning of a new year. Where did the old one go? What did we do with the time we were given a year ago? Did we keep any resolutions? Will be likely make the same ones again, ones that we’ve been making for years? The world in general seems to be in such disarray that perhaps we need to re-think what we say we’re going to do. Individually we’re not responsible for the chaos around the world. Surely there must be something, however small, we could do to bring a measure of peace to our world. Instead of a laundry list of things like not smoking, losing weight, saving money, getting organized -things we may all need to do-why not try for something simple like becoming a better person? As good as we may be, there’s always room for improvement. Small things like a smile here, a hug there, a few minutes with a friend in need or just quiet time with a child or grandchild might make a difference for both you and the person receiving your fellowship. There are hundreds of ways to go about selfimprovement. Just look at the self-help books and videos out there. Nothing will work unless we want to start with ourselves. Sometimes we have to take a step back and look at what we do or how we live to really see ourselves. Then we can decide what we are proud of and what we’d like to change. We’ve all been in a routine that became a rut and we began to think that was all there is. A new year seems like a good time to re-think our lives and make some adjustments. We can’t change totally in a few months and we may not need to change much, just a little here and little there. Last year both my husband and I suffered mightily with the flu for weeks. There’s nothing like feeling you’re at the bottom of the barrel and have no idea how to get out. We did survive and wouldn’t wish

62 | JANUARY 2016

that illness on anyone. On one of the days when I thought there might be some sunlight at the end of our tunnel, I started thinking about a very old dream I’d always hadwriting and publishing a book. In the past I’d always found an excuse, or life found one for me, not to give myself the time and attention needed to actually do it. I pretty well dropped out of everything I had been doing and huddled over my computer for hours on end. About half of my journalism career was before the digital age. Typewriters, teletypes, hot lead, and leg work were my tools then. I had to translate them to a digital form. It wasn’t as easy as just transcribing what I’d already written. I had to ponder over each piece to see if it was still relevant and would be enjoyed by today’s audience. Many memories, long dormant, surfaced and demanded my time. In the end I was pleased with the finished product. The lesson learned was that it’s OK to set aside time for yourself to do something you’ve been thinking about for years. Perhaps that’s the answer to New Year’s resolutions: stop, think, do what means something to you as a person. Chances are that it will mean something to another. Happy New Year! Robson is the author of “Over My Shoulder: Tales of Life and Death and Everything In Between.” She can be reached at


Consider Final Expense


by Beth Donner, CRPC


xperiencing the loss of a loved one is undoubtedly one of the most difficult experiences we face in life, and although most don’t like to talk about end-of-life issues, planning can prove beneficial. Final expense insurance is life insurance typically used to pay funeral expenses; end-of-life healthcare costs, include nursing home costs not covered by Medicare; and any other form of accumulated debt. According to the National Funeral Directors Association, the average cost of a funeral in the U.S. in 2014 was approximately $8,500 and when the cost of a cemetery plot is added in, costs can easily reach $10,000-$15,000 or more. For this reason, funeral expenses can have a significant financial impact on the loved ones left behind. Many people use final expense insurance as a way to ensure their funeral is arranged and paid for in advance, so the burden isn’t left to their families or beneficiaries. Pre-planning for such inevitable costs can therefore be considered a most appreciated and prudent act. Thinking about funerals leaves most people feeling a little uneasy, but many find that pre-planning a funeral can still offer great emotional and financial security, not only for themselves but particularly for family members. With pre-planning complete and purchase of final expense coverage in place, families find comfort in knowing that the funeral reflects what their loved ones wish to be carried out and that they will not be left with a financial burden. It gives tremendous peace of mind to loved ones when they know they don’t have to make such important decisions at a highly emotional time.

It’s important to note that age and health status may not affect approval of the final expense coverage but the policy may need to be in place for two years before any benefits pay out if the applicant is in poor health at the time of application. For this reason better coverage will be available to those who plan before they are critically ill, but coverage can still be available on a guaranteed basis regardless of a significant medical diagnosis. Most final expense policies can be issued up to the age of 80-85, depending on the insurance company, and are issued most commonly in the amounts of $2,000 to $75,000. Social Security will pay a lump sum final expense of $255, but this small dollar amount offers little relief toward burial expenses. Final expense life insurance helps protect loved ones from having to pay substantial out-of-pocket costs and literally can save families from having to sell precious assets to come up with the necessary funds when the inevitable occurs. Without a final expense life insurance policy, most families have a hard time coming up with needed funds quickly. Regardless of health status it’s usually in the insured's financial best interest to purchase a final xxpense policy as opposed to paying full price for funeral expenses. Donner is a Chartered Retirement Planning Counselor and can be reached at or 919-601-0501.


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Make it a regular practice. Keep paring down; a drawer this month, a section of the garage next month, slipping projects into your routine. Plan one day a week. Reserve the time and plan nothing else that day. Take it an hour at a time. Tackle just one task, promising yourself that you can quit or keep going when the hour is up. Take it 10 minutes at a time. See if smaller chunks of time work better. Take it drawer by drawer. You’ll get a nice sense of accomplishment from removing just one drawer to a quiet place where you can work on it.





Navigating All Your Aging Needs Ellen Beechhold

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Nydia Brooks, Executive Director

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and/ 5 USC 552(a), Privacy Act, 1) and it’s various. under the on covered bility Act (PL104-19 those provisionsIf ly. informati e with and Accounta in accordanc treated according may contain to you after be protected and must be This document Insurance Portability provided and must don’t require or the Health regulations and sensitive on it is being and ting nces that personal informati implemen information is circumsta it in a safe, secure by healthcare e or under Healthcar dence contains the patient obligated to maintain or as permitted consent ion from are iality subjects this correspon confident te authorizatYou, the recipient, additional patient dence in appropria ion. re without or failure to maintain this correspon re Redisclosu received patient authorizat made. ial manner. ized redisclosu If you have you have confident . Unauthor te sanction. any copies prohibited destroy is law n of appropria once and sender at you to applicatio notify the error, please


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by Carrie Frye | Photography by Diana Matthews

OutreachNC asked adults and children our January question. Share your answer on our Facebook page.

What will you do to make 2016 your best year yet?

2016 is my year to become more physically active to combat health issues and a stiff body. It makes me feel so much better when I take good care of myself!

Nothing because 2015 was the best year ever! —Levi, 6 Going to Gigi’s house and the beach. —Harper, 3

—Ellen, 57

We would love to travel more this year. —Jim, 80, and Peggy, 81

To make 2016 the best year yet, I am going to listen in school and get good grades.

I want to appreciate each season, and try to make the best of it, rather than wishing to hurry through the cold, heat or the rain. I’ve realized each season has its own charm, even if it can sometimes seem unpleasant. —David, 63

—Maggie, 10

Make everybody happy.

—Clara, 8

Have a great year. —Drew, 10

My daughter, whom I haven’t seen much in the past few years, and I are taking a vacation together. —Gail, 58 I plan to worry less and live more, taking more time to enjoy the simple pleasures of life. —Jennifer, 54 Spending less time doing what I think I have to do and more time doing what I want to do. —Pat, 67 Do more volunteer work and give back more. —Shirley, 76 I plan to spend more time with loved ones. —Mark, 56 I want to be better about prioritizing the things that really matter, relationships with family and friends and better manage work stress. —Kathy, 53

Go to the beach. —Nolan, 5 I’m going to work my hardest and do everything in God’s glory. —Chloe, 11 Finish all of the books on my bookshelf and go to sleep-away camp for the first time. —Judy, 8 I am going to be reading, writing and making friendship bracelets. —Evelyn, 5 I will have fun, spend time with family and friends, help people that need things, and love God! —Amelia, 10

I will lean on the Lord more. Worry less and relax more. Spend more quality time with my family. —Sherri, 52

Have fun, don’t get bullied and give to the homeless.

My faith is very important to me. Therefore, my goal is to better live my faith. That means doing more for others and making life less about me. We are called to serve, and I want to do more of that. —Rosemary, 62

Pray to God. —Isabella, 8

Best to me means giving my best. If I can be consistent in how I accept and approach what life sends my wayand have the self-respect to always give and be my best-2016 can be my best year. —Judson, 69 66

To be nice. —Coke, 8 | JANUARY 2016

—Gabe, 12

Be myself. —Alex, 8 Live my life. —David, 11 I’m going to Disney World! —Olivia, 8 Look both ways before crossing the street. —OutreachNC Co-editor Jeeves, 2

Legal Family Housing Advocacy Financial Local Resources Crisis Intervention Care Coordination Our Aging Life Care Professionals™ have the expertise you need to age with success in 2016 and beyond Call us today. We can help!

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Southern Pines 910.692.0683 JANUARY 2016 | 67

“Knowing who you are is part of mapping out where you want to be. Sometimes the personal journey takes you to the most interesting places.� Ed Dachtler, resident

To see how your life can be more fulfilling, happy, and nothing short of remarkable, please call 910.246.1023 or email

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Your way of living.

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January 2016 OutreachNC magazine  

Best Year, Best You issue: 5 Ways to Start the Year Off on the Right Foot; WKML 95.7's Don Chase, Carolinas Golf Senior Player of the Year G...

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