SEXTALK
TALK DIRTY TO US! IF YOU’VE GOT ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT THE SEX YOU’RE HAVING, OR YOUR SEXUAL HEALTH, DROP PETER AN E-MAIL: peter.boyle@lgf.org.uk
ASK THE
The other day I was killing time online. Looking through a list of all the amazingly beautiful bears and cubs that Manchester has to offer, when suddenly it hit me. 90% of the men on there were sending all the wrong messages. And the photos by far didn’t match the text. Message 1: I am happily partnered and monogamous! This is one of my favorites, as a picture truly is worth a thousand words. Let’s face it, even us old married bears need a little bit of an ego boost every now and then. But what message is a monogamously partnered bear/cub sending when every picture he has on his profile is a) his cock b) his arse or c) a mix and match of him in multiple states of arousal. Worse yet, pictures of him and said partner going at it! My Translation: My partner is in a monogamous relationship, but I’m not... so we have to be discrete. Message 2: I am not looking for hook ups, I am looking for a longterm relationship. Oh, how sweet. I think deep down inside that’s what we’re all looking for right? Then tell me why there’s not one picture of your eyes? They’re all chest, abs, bum and cock shots! My Translation: I’m telling myself I want a relationship, but what I really want is a really good lay!
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Message 3: I am a top! I’m a top, however every single picture on my profile is of my bum. Hmm, me thinks he doth protest too much! My Translation: I’m a bottom, but can top if I absolutly have to!
be willing to negotiate on. Remember, everyone’s idea of what is safe may be a bit different. Many guys who wouldn’t dream about being barebacked would be more then willing to bareback as long as they are the tops.
Message 4: I only play safe. This is always good to see, but beware; this could also be a wolf in sheep’s clothing! Make sure that anytime you arrange to meet up with someone online you are very clear about what your boundaries are in regards to safer sex. Don’t assume that just because they have on their profile “ safe sex only” that it’s not an issue they would
If you are chatting with a guy and feel comfortable enough to plan a meet, then you have every right to ask him about the kind of sex he is going to want to have, and the kind of sex that you expect to have. If you are clear from the start, then there wont be any surprises or any awkward moment once you get back to the bedroom. It’s important we realise, that when it comes to sex and dating, it
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Photo: Kevin Allsopp
Illustration: Mark H Evans
BEAR SEXPERT