Everyone has a story…So what’s yours.in other words what inspired you to become a DJ?
Well long story short, I never wanted to be a dj… I wanted to be a rock star however that all changed in the early 2000s when my ex at the time Caleb brought me to the Roxy in nyc, I was terrified bc at the time lol I was a 130lb (wet) 5’9 little twink… Chelsea boys intrigued me but also scared the fuck out of me at the same time After hearing Peter Rauhofer (ultimately Peter was the dj I idolized and eventually worked for He was good to me and I was a stupid punk kid I fucked up a lot and I mean a lot And while it may have taken some time I did eventually grow up and learn from the messes I created in my 20s And now in my 40s I like to think I’ve matured and do my best to be a good role model, to be open about my failures as well as my successes and to help others when and where I can. I also do a bit of charity and outreach back home in Houston these days, and I specially focus on the homeless being there was a brief period where I lived on the streeets in nyc) play for the first time I begged and pleaded with my family to help me buy a set of cdjs - after harassing them for a few weeks they loaned me the money for a pair and I began my journey… it feels like it happened so fast to be honest but, I went from smashing guitars to tech and disco house almost overnight. I’ll be honest, I was an out of control kid back then I had a drug problem and was undiagnosed bi polar ( I’m extremely open about this because by being open I hope others will see that it’s ok to get treatment and that it’s ok to not be ok.) as you can guess I was a bit of a handful and got into a lot of trouble And looking back I regret so much of that but I was a kid and really didn’t know what the fuck I was actually doing.
I heard you got your start at the Cock…explain?
Now yes, while Dirty Pop initially began at the cock in nyc ( god I miss that filthy room lol ) I had been playing for about a year or 2 already at the stonewall I was hired to play disco and I’d get in trouble for playing tech house in fact ::make face:: I may have gotten fired after punching some guy for requesting Barbie Girl lol I was a “tad” fucked up at the time lol and um yea definitely not my proudest of moments but it is funny almost 20 years later
The first attempt at Dirty Pop was at the Hose, a very short lived venue that shut down because we were letting everyone fuck everywhere. ( sorry just being honest lol ) so we Chris Ryan and Mark Afana brought it to the Cock and we began our reign on Weds nights in the most famous sleaze bar in nyc
Tell us what kind of music you enjoy playing?
I like the fact that I don’t stick to labels, I hate labels in every way… and I like the ability to show you whatever strange idea my ADD brain has come up with at that very moment Maybe I wanna toss a few 80s and 90s samples in or chopping a line or 2 out of one song and mash it up with 5 others. I honestly never know what the fuck I’m gonna do til I hit play. I don’t believe in mapping out sets or even having a playlist, I just go in and be myself and let the music speak for itself.
What and where is the largest crowd you played in front of?
That’s a good question because it’s a close one , I wanna say headlining Sydney Mardi Gras was biggest event ever however, if I look at videos the crowd at Phoenix Pride ( I know PHX ::shrug:: ) was like a sea of people at the festival a few years back and I was in awe of it and it caught me by surprise
Who do you feel is your biggest competition in the DJ world and your biggest influences?
I used to think everyone was competition and I’d get into fights and cause trouble and as I got older I realized there is truly enough room for everyone. I don’t sound like anyone else and I’ve grown to be proud of that But I’m most proud of the fact that I over the almost 20 years I’ve spent playing a beautiful community of artists whom all love their craft and I’ve learned to appreciate some healthy competition with my colleagues We have to have each others backs in this shady industry.
There is a famous quote attributed to Hunter S. Thompson that goes something like this: "The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side." All of this is true lol and it can be a bloodbath if you let it be so
In a world where the singer is featured but the DJ is the star, what songs if any have you remixed for anyone?
If we were to cover every remix that I’ve done solo, with Brian Cua (together “as” Dirty Pop) as an alias of which there’s several …. Bassline ( myself and Gabe Medina ) or as Cottontail Then I’ve covered everything from Gaga to Beyonce to Ariana to death metal band Bring Me The Horizon all with official sanctioned remixes however there is no greater feat than remixing the queen of pop herself Madonna and the fact that she choose one of our mixes to appear on her greatest hit truly blew Brian and I away.
Where can people find you this summer?
You can find me DC, Fort Lauderdale, San Diego, Dallas, Houston, Las Vegas etc and we are currently shopping for a new location in NYC to finally bring the party back to it rightfully home in the Empire State’s one and only big Apple
BY KEVIN
AN OLD TOWN WITH A VIBRANT GAY NIGHTLIFE SITGES, SPAIN
My first installment features a picturesque gay beach sanctuary located just 30 minutes south of Barcelona, Spain. It has earned a reputation as one of the top LGBTQ+ destinations in Europe and is often referred to as the ‘St Tropez of Spain ’
One of the major attractions of Sitges is its relaxed atmosphere The pace of life here is slow and easygoing, making it a great place to unwind and enjoy the Mediterranean vibe Whether you’re strolling along the promenade, enjoying a drink, or just relaxing on the golden beaches, Sitges is perfect for all these reasons The narrow, sometimes cobblestone streets, with quaint little squares in the oldest parts of Sitges with its ancient buildings, beg to be explored. You’ll find the whitewashed houses of the old fisherman’s neighborhood or enjoy a personal bar crawl along Carrer del Pecat (also known as “Sin Street”) This pedestrian street is lined with gay-friendly bars and cafes It’s a lively area where locals and tourists gather, especially at night The two busiest gay districts are Plaça de la Indústria and Carrer Bonaire
In June, the city hosts a Pride event, which is not huge, but it is one of the best gay beach parties in Europe If you travel here in September you will be in for a real treat, Bear Week has grown from just a small gathering at El Horno to a 10-day festival of bears, admirers, chasers and muscle bears I have been several times and it is one of the biggest and most popular Bear festivals in Europe. The men are gorgeous!! In October, Sitges hosts the International Film Festival which celebrates fantasy and horror films with screenings, panels and discussions
Sitges is known for its beautiful golden beaches With over 20 options ranging from busy, family-friendly stretches to more secluded, clothing-optional spots, there’s something for everyone. I recommend heading out early to save a spot as many beaches get crowded quickly One of the most popular gay beaches is Platja de la Bassa Rodona, known for its friendly atmosphere and great location near the town center For a quieter and more relaxed atmosphere, try Platja de Sant Sebastià. Playa dels Balmins, a mixed nudist beach, attracts a large gay crowd and features a clothingoptional bar, perfect for socializing. If you’re looking for a more remote place to chill (nude if you like), head over to Platja del Muerto It’s a bit of a trek (about a 45-minute walk) but worth it for the tranquility and scenic cliffs
The nightlife in Sitges has something for everyone, from quiet bars to high-energy clubs to clothingoptional cocktails If you prefer a low-key drink and people-watching, try Bar 7, Central Bar, or Parrots Pub and Terrace For cabaret, check out El Piano, or enjoy drag shows at Queenz Bar or Comodin The over-40 crowd often gathers at El Horno, one of Sitges' oldest bars For those strictly looking to drink and hookup, Bukkake might be a good place to stop If you want to burn off dinner calories, there are dance floors at both Dance Man Bar and Boys Bar. For bears and bear admirers (like me) there is Bears Bar, a low-key spot celebrating men of all body types and features a cruise area. Most gay bars are located between Plaça de la Indústria and Carrer Bonaire. For steam room enthusiasts, there’s Sauna Sitges Fortunately, the town is compact, so it’s easy to walk (or stumble) between all these venues
Sitges has a rich cultural heritage and has been an artistic hub since the late 19th century Artists, writers, and intellectuals have long been drawn to its creative spirit For modern art, visit the Maricel Museum or the Cau Ferrat Museum, once home to artist Santiago Rusiñol and now showcasing his work alongside that of other artists.
Sitges offers a wide range of dining options, from cafes and casual tapas bars to fine-dining, some with stunning waterviews The town is also home to a variety of shops selling unique local products, art, and fashion
Other things to know:
Like most of the countries in Europe, the currency in Spain is the Euro (EU) Tipping is generally not expected, but feel free to leave something extra whenever you receive exceptional service
Walking is a great way of getting around. A valid passport and travel power adapter are essential if you are travelling from the United States.
There are public restrooms, some do charge a fee to use
Walking Old Town, which is pretty much the city center, is great day or night. People are friendly and helpful, and many speak English.
If you would like to see more of the images I captured while in Sitges, click here
About Me:
I’m a gay native New Yorker who loves everything the New York area has to offer but also loves to travel. Whether it’s a city walk, a weekend road trip, or an extended European vacation, I’m all about discovering photographic opportunities in interesting places with impressive architecture, charming downtowns, historic sites, and fun events Follow me at www.GetOutNAbout.com, Instagram or TikTok and let’s get Out N About together.
Coming soon to Out Loud Long Island Magazine, “Dear Bella” advice column with Bella Noche, New York's premiere mermaid drag queen, lures onlookers in with her fantastical spark of color, creativity and charisma. A staple of the New York City and Long Island drag scenes, as well as a leader in LGBTQ+ community programs such as Drag Story Hour, Bella is a queen for all audiences who aims to bring love and laughter wherever she goes. Regularly performing outside of the Northeast multiple times a year, her work now includes fundraising for VFW posts and a number of local community centers. With a heart as full as the ocean and the combination of both beauty and brains, you'll become part of her world before you know it, hook line and sinker.
Since the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic, Lance Charger has become one of the most talked about daddy’s on the digital content platform “Onlyfans.” His stardom has resulted in gaining thousands of followers and subscribers across all of social media, and his viewers can’t seem to get enough of him. Aside from making privatized content, Lance has also worked with big studio porn company’s such as Icon Male, Butch Dixon, Dragon Media, Pantheon Productions, Bear Films and Trailer Trash Boys. It’s also worth noting that Lance has been able to work along side with other well known gay adult film stars over the years like Dallas Steele, Brian Bonds, Drew Dixon, Adam Russo, Dale Savage and many others.
Lance as of right now is retired, but still keeps his fans enticed on social media It goes without saying the man is gawked at by many, and his work is definitely recognized. I had the amazing opportunity to get to ask him a few questions regarding his career in adult entertainment, retirement and his personal life. I hope you all enjoy. I know I did.
Photo Credit: Bernard Mesa
“What made you want to work in the adult film industry?”
Working in this industry wasn’t something I ever planned or even considered. It only became a reality due to a serious of unexpected events. I had built a fairly successful Instagram feed with over 85,000 followers and several influencer contracts that provided supplemental income. Then, seemingly overnight, it was gone—deleted by Instagram for allegedly violating their community guidelines. There was no warning or opportunity to appeal; I simply woke up to find my account, and the revenue it generated, gone. Around the same time, I also lost my job due to the pandemic. suddenly I was facing significant monthly expenses with no steady income. Out of the blue, I received a Facebook Messenger message from someone I didn’t know, who mentioned they noticed my instagram account was gone. They also suggested that I had been missing an opportunity to monetize my image. At first, I wasn’t sure what they meant. But they introduced me to the idea of creating a Twitter feed and promoting myself as an adult entertainer. It wasn’t an easy decision, and I spent time considering whether it was the right path for me. Ultimately, I decided to give it a shot. I developed a name (Lance Charger) and a persona, then uploaded some content I had previously filmed during personal encounters. To my surprise, within just three days a few studios reached out. The rest as they say, is history.
“Was it a struggle balancing your persona/family life with your career and how did your friends/family members react to knowing about your line of work?”
At first, I didn’t tell anyone. I kept it private, though word spread quickly once my image was out there. As I began actively promoting myself, it began harder to keep under wraps. Because I was traveling so much for shoots and appearances, I eventually told my parents that I was modeling. I explained that much of the work was for gay publications and involved underwear, sportswear, and some nudity. Thankfully, my parents have always been incredibly supportive. They trusted me to make decisions that were right for me and understood that this was a way for me to pay the bills during a challenging time. Not everyone reacted the same way, though. A few friends stopped talking to me all-
together. They told me the work was “beneath me” and predicted I’d end up struggling with addiction or unable to find a corporate job in the future. They cousins have been more wrong. I approached Lance Charger as a brand. With over 29 years in training in publicity, marketing, and creative strateg, I knew how to build and maintain a strong image. I ensured his persona was professional, his reputation stellar and his business sustainable. For the two years I worked as an adult entertainer and content creator, I treated it like the serious business it was-and that made all the difference.
“What porn stars have you worked with over the years who you have befriended and consider to be your “ride or die” I guess you could say?”
I approached my time in the industry as a job, which meant maintaining professionalism in all my relationships. while I worked with many talented scene partners, I made a conscious decision not to blur the lines between work and personal life. That said, there were a few individuals I genuinely enjoyed collaborating with and stayed in contact with afterword. However, I did not form any deep, “ride or die” relationships within the industry. Keeping that boundary allowed me to stay focused on my goals and approach my career with clarity and purpose.
“If you could do a porn scene with any celebrity, who would it be?”
That’s a fantastic question! If I had to choose, I’d say Jonathan Bailey. The moment I saw him in the series premiere of Bridgerton, I was absolutely hooked.
RyanCurcie
“Tell me what life was like growing up for you on Long Island?”
I grew up In Kings Park and went to Chaminade High School - an all-boy’s Catholic School in Mineola. It was challenging to grow up while navigating being gay and discovering who I was. I was bullied a lot, but I’d like to think it all made me funnier and cooler in the long run.
“What life events led you to do stand up?”
I was living in Bushwick and it was early 2021. We were just coming out of pandemic restrictions and things were going back to normal in NYC. I was scrolling on TikTok and found out about a comedy club near my apartment called The Tiny Cupboard. I started going to watch shows out of boredom and to connect with the community more. While I was watching the stand up shows, I was thinking “I feel like I could do this.” So I started going to open mics at clubs and in September 2021 my comic friend Carson Mlnarik and I started our own open mic for women & LGBTQ+ comedians specifically. We called it “2 Gays, 1 Mic” because the low-budget comedy club we hosted it at only had one microphone for us. The title’s kind of basic, but I like it. It’s simple.
In February 2022, we produced our first show where we booked comics we knew through our open mic and through the NYC comedy scene. We’ve produced shows every couple months since then. We ran the open mic weekly for a year, but now we just do the shows.
“Who are your biggest idols in the comedy industry?”
I love Kathy Griffin and how she connects with her audiences by talking to them like she’s their friend and we’re all just gossiping together. I’ve seen her live a few times and she’s such a pro. I also love Sarah Silverman and her crass, somewhat immature sense of humor. I grew up watching her show The Sarah Silverman Program on Comedy Central and that definitely helped shape my sense of humor.
“If you could work with anyone living or that's passed away who would it be?”
Joan Rivers. She always “told it like it is.” I also love how she could just could get away with saying whatever she wants because she was hilarious and real.
https://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=Jm8bLB7mbyM Link to his show
“Where can we find you next?”
My co-host and I will likely be producing our next stand up show at Club Cumming in February of next year. We usually take January off of producing to relax after the holidays. You can look for our next show date at @2gays1mic on Instagram. We follow back
TheRazorThinLineBetween SexPositiveandSexAddict
It’s no secret that the gay men love to fuck. We are men after all, aren’t we? When we eliminate women from the sexual equation, what remains is people with raging testosterone coursing through their veins eager to get their rocks off. Beyond this, in many famous gay works including The Velvet Rage, it is made clear that many of us hid for such a long time, suppressing our sexual desires and potentially viewing them as harmful or shameful. In due course, there is somewhat of a swing in the other direction when we declare our sexuality to the world We want to express and to shed the shame. Thus, on some level, it’s completely natural that gay men have a deep desire to have sex, enjoy pleasure, and act out their fantasies.
The desire to shed our shame and live out loud can neatly be drawn to the sex positivity movement Sex positivity loudly touts that people should not be ashamed to have sex, whether it be kinky, transactional, explorative, anonymous, or whatever gets you hard. This is a gross simplification of the idea, but you catch my drift The core idea that sex is not something to be ashamed of and it’s healthy to be fulfilled in this way, is ultimately a good one However, for anyone walking through life with his eyes open, you might notice that there is a substantial cohort of gay men who may be diving to a place further than sex positivity – that is, they are entering a world of addiction.
What differentiates these two spaces? In my eyes, it is making a true voluntary and informed choice without compulsion to perform the acts that are being engaged in. In a culture that is very sex positive, it is exceedingly easy to find ourselves in a place where gay dating apps and tricks are taking us for a ride and our ability to choose is left at the door. We can easily find ourselves having sex that we didn’t want to, in places we didn’t want to be, in situations we‘re not comfortable with. This is an under discussed topic because in my estimation because there is an urgent desire to not demonize sex and remain sex positive. But with the normalization of very casual sex in party settings and otherwise, there is a resistance to engage in any rhetoric that may smell in the very slightest way as sex negative.
This is where we get into trouble. It’s not a secret that we as gay men suffer from much higher rates of addiction to substances Specifically, 20-30% of gay men suffer from addiction, while the general population average is about 9% Gay guys’ sex lives are so frequently tied up in a whole complement of addictive substances and behavior which include the gay dating apps (Grindr, Scruff, etc ), drugs such as crystal meth and GHB, and of course, alcohol In my own experience, many of these things applied as I took a nosedive into an abyss of insanity. In my mind I was “exploring my sexuality” and “being sex positive ” In reality, I suffered from a deep feeling of emotional emptiness My body count sky rocketed as my self-worth plummeted Very few of my fellow gay friends provided any indication that perhaps my behavior was an issue and it took a substantial amount of suffering to understand that everything, including the sexual behavior I was exhibiting, was part of an addictive pattern. I am grateful that I have broken this pattern and I am able to contribute to what I view as part of the solution through recovery programs.
The good news about this is that there’s a lot that we can do. I would personally really like to see it become more acceptable to have conversations with friends that appear to be having sex in a compulsive way, especially when substances are clearly involved It’s time to stop being nice Culturally, we pride ourselves on being a bit transgressive and cunty. However, it seems that in this area we may be too wrapped up in our own lives to tell people the truth about concerning observations. Further, I think sex addiction should be recognized as an issue by dating apps like Scruff, Grindr and Sniffies Yes, I do realize that it is somewhat detrimental to their business model to point out that sex addiction is a real thing and people do genuinely suffer with it However, I grow somewhat weary of our entire approach of “here’s some PrEP, everything’s fine now.” I am completely sympathetic to a harm reduction view and of course, view PrEP as a net positive for our community. That said, we need more incentives to ask better questions about WHY we are behaving the way that we are and if perhaps we are caught in a toxic and painful cycle
There is a concept in recovery that is frequently called “playing the tape forward.” Before you make a choice, you put that choice into a theoretical VCR (lol, I know old) and play the tape forward Do you like what you see? When watching that tape play forward, what feelings does that incite? It very well may be that you feel completely okay about taking the risks to sleep with someone and if that’s the case get it, girl! Sex can be amazing when both parties are comfortable and in many cases can even be a powerful tool for healing However, when we examine our current state, if we are acting from a place of sadness or avoidance, we need to consider if perhaps this action is rash and that we should pause before making a mistake.
Finally, I want to briefly discuss what can be helpful as tools when we’re exploring the complicated areas of our sexuality and maybe we’re asking some questions about whether we have an addiction problem or not. Of course, traditional therapy can be an excellent tool for healing. I do think that many gay men lie about our drinking, drug use and sex lives to therapists and medical professionals. That said, I do think at some point we need to find the willingness to be fully honest with a trusted therapist or coach about our sexual practices. We must walk through the fear to honestly examine whether we are exercising a choice to engage in these situations with actual voluntary consent or not. If we are afraid to share, it may be an indication that we don’t want to look at the deep and sensitive feelings underneath the behavior If we want to progress in our health journey we MUST start with brave honesty.
If you are someone who feels that they have a problem with sex addiction. There are resources available that can help. There is an entire recovery recovery fellowship (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, also known as “SLAA”) If you are in pain and struggling, consider attending a meeting and asking for help. If your addiction pattern involves substances, then please consider working with a coach or therapist with rigorous honesty to determine if this is a situation which warrants inpatient treatment, outpatient treatment, or perhaps just a recovery fellowship and abstinence. If you, reader of this article, would like help in this area and don’t know where to start, feel free to email me at thriveguyscoaching@gmail com The first conversation is always free and we will work on getting you where you need to be. I will never take your money if I can’t help. As a dedicated Health and Wellness coach, I want to tell the whole story of health, and I simply think we can do better in addressing the complicated emotional dynamics that are inevitably at play in our sex lives. It all starts with courage and honesty
